#happy stab Caesar day :)
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LET THE STABBY HOLIDAY OF JOYOUS TREACHERY AND HEINOUS WAR CRIME BEGIN....
#ides of march#julius ceaser#julius caesar#love our collective dumb holidays#Happy stab caesar day#THE STABBENING#Who is ready to rumble!!!!
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Happy Ides of March!
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Look how much fun they're having!
happy ides of March
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julius caesar has been dead for 2069 slutty slutty years, long may we torment him ✨️💦🍆🍑💦✨️ (and may others join him too!!)
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#happy stabbing day#Stabturday#polls#poll#julius caesar#ides#ides of march#the ides of March#March 15#beware the ides of march#cw stabbing#cw stabbing mention
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fun shark fact(s)
2069 years ago today, Julius Caesar was assassinated in a coup planned by i think like 120 people (but i forget the exact number)
there was a senate meeting planned for today but because how much the senate vehemently hated Caesar they planned to assassinate him instead
about 60 people actually took part in the coup and only 23 actually stabbed him, only one of the stab wounds was thought to be actually fatal (cause it hit an artery)
they found out that last part because he was one of the first autopsies performed in Rome! before that autopsies were like illegal because they were considered highly disrespectful to the body
his last words were almost definitely not “et tu Brute” (and you, Brutus?), that was coined by Shakespeare but fits well because his apprentice/adopted son Brutus was one of the people to stab him
and other take on his last words (my favorite) is “καὶ σύ, τέκνον” (and you, my child) this was coined by this guy Suetonius who lived around Caesar’s time and would have made a lot of sense for Caesar as the dramatic little bastard he was
so καὶ σύ, τέκνον isn’t Latin like Caesar would have spoken on the daily, it’s Greek which was considered to be the language of drama used in tragedies and dramas of that age, this one is also directed at Brutus
the third take (that is words) on what Caesar said when being stabbed is “ista quidem vis est” (why is this violence) and is kinda boring because “hey dude why are you stabbing me? not chill” are dumb last words imo
the fourth and most likely take on Caesars last words is “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” because that’s generally how people react to being stabbed i think
the Ides of March is my favorite holiday and im so normal about ancient rome
#the ides of march#julius caesar#ides of march#happy ides of march#stab caesar day#rodgulhaj#blahajverse#blahaj into the blahajverse
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i am very forgiving for the things canon gets wrong. its okay they just don't realize that adrien is a march baby. he's such a march baby. happy birthday my favorite 35 year old boy
#HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! maybe i'll make better non-shitposty art for him#maybe tomorrow too. for white day/pi day/caesar stab day#adrien agreste#tweosdrien#mlb adrien#miraculous adrien#wissym art
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thats how you say "beware the ides of march" in spanish
#👁️👁️👁️👁️#mucho ojo cuate#this is so stupid i love it#happy stab a politician day#de hyacinth#art#ides of march#beware the ides of march#julius caesar#roman empire#history#brutus#et tu brute#caesar
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Happy Stabbing Anniversary

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If someone pays for a party bus, they officially get the code name Brutus 🔪🔪🔪
(Necessary disclaimer: This is a joke, violence is wrong, etc. … Buuut anyone who doesn’t send me threatening messages about going on a roadtrip in togas is more than welcome to join us! On our roadtrip. *wink*)
#ides of march#the ides of march#beware the ides of march#julius caesar#fuck caesar#happy stab caesar day!#the us senate will not be doing the funniest thing#lazy bastards#stab stab stab#stabby stabby 🔪⚔️#happy stabbing day#it’s here#brutus#cassius#roman senate#et tu brute#this is a joke#fuck trump#previous fuck you toward a certain politician is not a joke#the people must save us now#let’s bring togas back#march 15#march 15th#the ides of march is here#tumblr holidays#tumblr culture#us politics#us government#america is doomed
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How to Become a Step-Dad in 5 Easy Steps: ch.5/5 of p.2 (The Corridor, the Favor, the Lunch, & the Hero)
I wanted this done way sooner, like around Valentine's day, but I had a keyboard malfunction and am currently using a temp workaround until I either fix or replace it.
Edit: It auto-restarted one night and it's working again!🥳
This is a longer chapter so I hope you enjoy. Anyways Happy Stab Caesar Day Y'all!
first, prev, next, lore, ao3
~~~
In the end, Jason moved on. All he could do for now was hold his feelings in his chest and try not to think of them. (At least till he figures out how/whether to act on them)
Of course, this meant those coiled feelings burst forth the second he saw a distressed Ellie sitting outside the door of her apartment.
Jason had finished his meeting early and decided to take his paperwork home so he could (pretend) to do it (while getting distracted by his case files). He had just turned into his corridor when his blood froze as he saw a small figure sitting on the floor, leaning up against a door. He picked up his pace to a brisk walk and approached the small figure, only to find that it was Ellie.
The young girl's eyebrows were scrunched in frustration. The pout on her lips gave away her upset-ness and her eyes glistened with the beginnings of tears. Her little fists clutched tightly to a small backpack decorated with blue butterflies.
'Help her!' his gut screamed at him.
He immediately knelt down, reaching out to her gently.
"Hey kiddo, you okay there?"
The girl looked up at him, "Uncle Jason?" she questioned in a shaky voice.
"Yeah, it's me Ell. What are you doing out here?"
Her lip quivered. "I'm stuck out here 'cause I'm stupid!" she cried out, startling Jason.
He rested a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Hey now, none of that!" he tried to calm her. "You're not stupid Ellie, don't talk about yourself like that. Just tell me what happened."
"I locked myself out," she sniffed. "Daddy had to go work today, sniff, b'cause someone got sick and they needed more help. So he talked to Sasha's mom and they said I could play with them this afternoon, sniff, b-but Sasha had to go to the dentist later so I-I was supposed to bring my key with me so I could get back in, sniff, and then I'd only have to wait a little while for daddy b'cause he said he'd be home by six! So Sasha's mom made sure I got to my door but then she and Sasha had to go. And, sniff, then I checked my bag bu-but they weren't there!" She said, proffering out her bag to him. "Then I 'membered I left my keys on my nightstand instead of putting 'em in my bag a-and now I can't get in, cause I'm stupid and forgot'em!" she finished tearily.
"Hey now, what'd I say," Jason reminded her, gently pulling the girl into a hug. "You are not stupid, you made a mistake. It happens, sometimes even I forget things. One time, I was taking my brother to school and I got halfway there before I realized I left my brother at home!" he reassured her.
She huffed a bit, not quite giving her usual giggle, and started rubbing at her eyes.
"Really?"
Dear god, she sounded so small it made his heart clench.
"Yeah really," he smiled. "How about this gimme a second to see if I can talk to your dad. I'll ask if you can come over to my place till he gets back. If he can't pick up or doesn't feel comfortable with it, then I'll wait out here with you."
She nodded in affirmation, turning to fiddle with the straps of her bag.
Jason whipped out his phone and shot Danny a text explaining the situation and how he found Ellie.
"If you're cool with it, she can hang at my place till you get back?"
He got a quick reply:
"That would be great Jason
I'd feel so much better knowing she was somewhere safe
Thank you so much"
"Your daddy said he'd be okay with you coming with me since it'll be safe. I guess that means you stuck with me for the next," he paused glancing at his phone, 5:13 pm, "hour or so munchkin!"
He reached over jokingly poking at her stomach, lightly tickling a smile out of her. Oh, and smile she did as she shyly held out her arms to Jason. Wordlessly, he scooped her up and the two entered his apartment.
He set her down in the living room, allowing her to get comfortable on the couch and assuring her she was allowed to touch the books littering the coffee table or even turn on the TV if she wanted. He left her to her own devices as he migrated to the kitchen to make a snack to offer her.
When he returned with a plate of apple slices cut to look like little bunnies and a small dish of animal crackers he usually reserved for giving out to street kids, although Dick always tried to sneak some when he came over. As he set the plates down on the table, he saw that Ellie had elected to ignore the TV and was instead nosing at an old, worn copy of The Boxcar Children.
That had been his own copy, one he'd gotten when he was a kid. It had been his 8th birthday and his parents had decided to get him a book. Probably because they'd noticed how he devoured any reading material he could get his hands on: discarded magazines, old newspapers, battered books from recycling bins. They had decided if they were lucky enough to have a literate kid, they might as well give him something to read. It was one of the few things he remembered coming from Catherine and Willis both. One of the last things they'd done for him together before they started falling apart.
He snapped out of his thoughts, quickly pushing them to the back of his mind. He'd only had it out because he'd offered the book to Damian recently, who'd read it to be polite before returning it. The story had simply not been his taste.
Now, he smiled down at Ellie, who stared at the page with great concentration. It was a bit above her reading level, but she seemed so determined to read it, he wondered if she'd be able to absorb the store via osmosis or something.
"The Boxcar Children eh," he began. "It's a good read." He continued conversationally.
"Whazzit 'bout?" She asked curiously.
"Well, it's about four siblings: Henry, Jess, Violet, and Benny, who try to take care of each other after their parents die. They are scared to live with their grandfather because they haven't met him and think he's mean because he didn't like that their parents got married. So they run away and manage to find an abandoned train car called a boxcar in the woods to call home. But living in the woods is tough and they're just kids. They do their best and in the end they get a happy ending." He explained trying not to spoil the story for her.
She nodded at him, appearing to be in deep thought before turning to him with a big pair of puppy dog eyes and pleading, "Will you please read it to me?"
Jason didn't think there was a universe in which he could have said no to that.
Jason picked up the book and began his narration. He made an effort to do voices for the characters and change his tone to reflect the story. And for the first time since he'd met her, Jason saw Ellie sit completely still, too absorbed in the story to even shift in her seat like she often tended to do. The largest move she had made the entire time he read to her is when they had just started and she'd moved over to lean her head on his biceps and stare at the page.
At some point they paused to eat the crackers and apples that had begun to slightly brown. Apparently, Ellie had stored up the energy she hadn't used while sitting still, because she now used it to channel a dragon who she insisted was snatching up animals from the forest that was Jason's coffee table. Of course, as the humble peasant he offered up his livestock as an offering to appease his mighty dragon lord. Which devolved into a session of pretend where the Dragon Overlord quashed the foolish peasant's rebellion (Jason tried to take the plates back to the kitchen) and asserted her dominance by holding him down and demanding he entertain her(she crawled into his lap and told him to keep reading) or else there would be consequences(she'd bop his nose).
And just like that the time flew by so quickly that the two actually startled a bit when they heard the bell ring. Ellie crawled off him and began to gather her stuff as Jason hurried to answer the door, book still in hand. He was hit with a slight chill as he opened the door for a slightly nervous looking Danny.
"Hey," he said a bit breathlessly.
"Hi," he got back
"Daddy!" Ellie called rushing out from behind Jason and crashing into Danny's legs.
"Hey Ell," grinned, picking up his daughter. "Did you have a good time with Uncle Jason?"
Ellie nodded vigorously, "We had a lot of fun! Uncle Jason read his book to me and we played and I was his Dragon Overlord!"
Danny took it all in stride, grinning at them.
"So what do we say?"
"Thank you Uncle Jason!"
She leaned over and pressed a clumsy kiss to his cheek.
Jason's insides melted. "You're welcome Princess, I had fun too." He glanced at the book in his hand before making a split second decision. He held it out to her, glancing back at Danny. "Here, keep it. Maybe Dad can read to you some more later."
"What- Jason, we couldn't pos-"
"I want her to have it." Jason cut off Danny's protest. "I'd be glad to have someone else appreciate as much as I did."
Ellie clutched the book to her chest and her eyes turned glossy.
"I'll take care of it daddy! Promise!"
"Oh alright," Danny relented.
He turned his attention back to Jason, thanking him for watching after Ellie and wishing him a good night. And with that, the two left him to his empty apartment and his neglected paperwork.
Later that evening, as Jason worked through his paperwork, his thoughts drifted through memories of digging through junkyards, kind doctors, a rich man's home and a grandfatherly face.
~~~
As July grew into August and summer began to dwindle, back-to-school season took the market by storm. Parents were hunting for deals on school supplies, teachers were prepping their classrooms and Jason was gathering up some more personalized items for the tutoring center.
Fern had already bulk ordered the supplies for the free tutoring center they set up in the alley in hopes of improving the education levels, but there were a couple of kids Hood knew were too scared or embarrassed to go. He hoped a more personalized gift to show his investment in helping them would encourage them to reach out or show up.
And that's how Jason found himself staring at a value pack of animal-themed eraser pencil toppers. He looked at the label "GARDEN FRIENDS" which boasted including a butterfly, a ladybug, a cat, a bunny, a blue bird and a hedgehog. He contemplated whether giving these to Damian as a gag gift over the next family dinner would earn him a stabbing attempt. With a grin he slid the erasers into his basket. The little brat would probably use them even if he refused to admit to liking them.
He began making his way back up to the registers when something caught his eye. A bright blue fabric pencil case, decorated with hot air balloons, biplanes, jets and rockets, dancing through clouds.
'I bet Ellie would love that.'
Without thinking he reached out and plucked it off the shelf, adding it to his basket. He rushed up and got into line behind the register with the shortest queue, trying not to dwell on what he'd just done.
Shortly after another customer came up behind him to join the line. She was short, had a puffy pixie cut and radiated nosy and privileged. Jason internally sighed. He knew what was coming. Any second now this woman would open her mouth and-
"So who are you buying for?"
It should've been a question but her tone made it feel like a demand. As if she had a right to know who he was shopping for. There were still two people ahead of him in line. Jason turned to the woman resigning himself for a few minutes of painful small talk.
"Oh, just a couple of things for my niece and little brother. A gift for back to school and all that ya know." He said showing only a cursory level of politeness, ignoring the way the woman blatantly began staring at his basket.
Only one person to go and they only had 4 items. He'll be free of her soon.
"Well I'm sure your niece will love the erasers! Why, my own little Aspen begged me for a butterfly eraser when she was young. Of course I allowed it, there are certain things young girls can't help but love!"
Jason took advantage of it being his turn to step to the register to ignore her. This did not appear to dissuade the woman. As he started putting his items on the belt, she continued to prattle on.
"Oh and my boy Hudson simply adored all types of machines: cars, planes, trucks, boats, and the like! Ah but all boys go through phases like that! I'm sure your brother will adore the pencil case! I know my Hudson-... "
'Was this woman for real?' Jason thought as he began to pull out his card to pay while the cashier, an older teen with purple hair and a nose piercing, began bagging his items. He turned to the woman feeling resigned and vaguely pissed.
"Look ma'am, not that it's any of your business, but the erasers are for my brother and the pencil case is for my niece."
"Wha- but, but! Those are girls' erasers and that's a boy's pencil case!"
"Again ma'am, I don't see why it's any of your business or why you're assigning gender to school supplies but I hardly think it matters as long as the kids like them. Please," he paused taking the bag from a somewhat amused cashier, who was definitely enjoying seeing this woman get shut down, "keep your unsolicited opinions and notions of gender conformity to yourself. Oh and have a good afternoon or whatever I guess?"
Jason finished as he quickly made his exit from the store, leaving the woman red in the face with her mouth gaping.
~
"Would you and Ellie wanna come over for dinner tonight?
I'm making tortellini al forno"
"Sure! I wanted to talk to you about something anyway!
What time should we be over?"
"Does 7 work for you?"
"Ofc!
See ya then😊"
~
Jason's apartment filled with warm smells as he prepared dinner. Cooking had become almost meditative for him. The repetitive motions, the clear instructions, the satisfaction of creating something. It was all so soothing. And if he managed to convince himself that he wasn't nervous in-between cooking his bacon and thickening his roux for his bechamel sauce then well-
'It's not even a big deal, we've had dinner before. Hell! I've given them gifts before!' Jason thought to himself, remembering his welcome cookies and his book. 'This is totally fine.' He repeated to himself topping his pasta with shredded mozzarella and bacon before sliding it into the oven and moving to set the table.
Jason continued to navigate through his kitchen with practiced motions as he got ready for dinner. Grabbing utensils, setting out some juice for Ellie, cutting up a peeled orange into circular slices to go with the cheesy pasta.
He had just finished setting the table when he heard a knock on his door. He left his tortellini down on a heat absorbent pad on the table to cool before yanking off his apron and rushing to get the door.
A refreshing rush of cool air flooded his senses as he pulled open the door to greet the Nightingales. He was greeted by those heart-melting twin smiles and a hug to the knees from Ellie. Danny chuckled softly, holding up a rectangular tupperware container.
"Here," he offered. "Ell and I made dessert! It's that fudge I promised you." Danny grinned as Jason accepted with reverence for the heavenly fudge this man produced.
And with that Jason led the pair into his apartment as they sat down for dinner.
'A feeling,' Jason thought, 'I really shouldn't be getting used to.'
Dinner went much like the previous occasions: small talk, light hearted banter, compliments to the chef. Although, Ellie managing to smack herself in the face with the cheese pull from her tortellini was new. Luckily the girl had laughed it off, complimenting Jason for the stretchiness of his cheese.
As they wrapped up, Jason pulled out the fudge Danny had brought. When he pulled the lid off the container, he found that it wasn't the same fudge Danny had given him originally. This new iteration was topped with *sniff* cocoa powder and a coffee bean in the center of each square. He glanced at Danny, raising an eyebrow, who gave him a devilish grin in return.
"Seeing as were having Italian tonight, I thought it'd be nice to stay on theme," he purred out. And oh gosh-, wow, did that tone do things to Jason. "I took it as an excuse to experiment. They're tiramisu flavored."
Jason simply huffed and turned back to get his plates for dessert, hoping that the burning he felt in the tips of his ears wasn't a visible blush. Instead of acknowledging it, he turned back to the conversation they'd been having with Ellie, who informed him she would be going to 1st grade soon because she was a big girl.
"So princess, where are you gonna go?"
"Gotham Academy!" Ellie informed him cheerily.
Jason glanced at Danny, slightly raising his eyebrows. Danny sniffed and crossed his arms.
"Vlad insisted on paying for it," he began dryly. "And while I'd normally never let him have a say, Gotham Academy is probably the best school in the city. It can give her a better education and more opportunities," he sighed, his face softening. "And that's something I want for her."
Jason nodded in understanding. As much as he tried to help with his after school programs and tutoring centers, there was only so much he could do. The shitty public education system would remain shitty till the community could work toward solutions on a city-wide level. Which would be like pouring water into a leaky bucket, what with all the corruption in Gotham.
Danny was just trying to give his daughter the best future he could with all the resources at his disposal and Jason couldn't begrudge him for that. So, Jason decided to capitalize on this opening instead.
"Hey speaking of which, I actually got you a little somethin' Ell." He addressed Ellie. He got up quickly, ignoring the curious looks that followed him, returning with a small gift bag. "Consider it a present for starting the first grade."
Ellie's hand shot into the bag and pulled out the pencil case Jason had bought with her in mind. She stared at it in quiet wonderment, she stroked the fabric gently, examining different aircrafts that danced across it.
"It's a case for all your pencils 'n' markers 'n' stuff. I saw it at the store and thought you'd like it."
An ear-splitting squeal erupted from Ellie as her face broke into a wide grin. She hopped out of her seat and barreled into Jason's lap.
"Oh thankyouthankyouthankyou THANK YOU! I LOVE IT!" she said, throwing her arms around him, the pencil case still in hand.
Jason wrapped his arms around the young girl, holding her close. He glanced up, making eye contact with Danny. He was almost startled to find a steely look of determination in his eyes. For a second, Jason worried he'd overstepped. But then the look gave way to something so undeniably fond that Jason couldn't help but relax.
The evening continued to close and the adults sent Ellie into the living room to watch some cartoons while they cleaned up. But with the way the air was charged, Jason could tell Danny was gearing up to say something important.
As the two began on the dishes, Jason washing and Danny drying, Jason tried to calm himself. It was super unlikely Danny would suddenly say Jason was no longer welcome around them, right? Maybe he just wanted Jason's pasta recipe?
"So you know how I said I needed to ask you something earlier?" Danny began.
Jason nodded in confirmation.
"Well, I wanted to ask you a favor and this evening has all but confirmed for me that you're probably the best person to ask."
Jason felt the curiosity well up in him as the voice in the back of his head declared that he'd give Danny anything he wanted, no questions asked. Jason did not verbalize this thought to the voice's dismay. Instead, he waited for Danny to continue.
The man in question took a deep breath before setting down his rag and turning to face Jason.
"I wanted to ask if I could list you as Ellie's secondary emergency contact for school."
Stunned, Jason pulled his hands out of the sink, his plastic gloves dripping with soapy water.
'That's - that's' Jason tried not to lose his mind at the implications of this request.
He gaped quietly at Danny, who flushed and averted his gaze.
"It's just, my friends from my hometown all live out of state and normally I'd ask my older sister but she's also lives out of town and she's working on her PhD so I don't wanna have to bother her, and I'm not really particularly close with anyone else on that level quite yet, and like hell am I trusting Vlad or my parents with any form of guardianship over her and-" Danny ramble, slowly becoming breathless.
"And I trust you, Jason." He breathed out. "And Ellie trusts you too. She calls you Uncle Jason for a reason ya' know." He tries teasing, but his voice is too sincere to have the intended effect. "You've been nothing but kind and supportive and caring since we met you. You're always looking out for us and reaching out. Hell- you bought Ellie a gift for school entirely unprompted!" Danny continued. "You've proven to be someone trustworthy, someone who wouldn't take advantage of either of us when we were vulnerable."
Images flash in his head: that night they comforted each other on fire escapes, the day when Danny had heat exhaustion, the time he comforted Ellie in the hall.
"I want it to be someone I can trust with her, Jason. And- well, I'd like it to be you."
Danny's gaze had never felt more heavy on Jason's shoulders. The overwhelming weight of trust he was being shown. The stark confidence and sincerity showed in his eyes. For a moment Jason's world seemed to stand still.
He only snapped out of it when Danny began to stare at his feet muttering.
"I know it's a lot to ask, especially when we haven't actually known each other all that long. And- you don't have to say yes. I won't be offended! I can always ask Ja-!"
"Yes."
Jason pulled Danny into a hug, not even bothering to take off his soapy gloves.
"Yes, I'll be her emergency contact." He pulled back to stare the other man in the eyes. "I want to be there for you. For both of you. Thank you for trusting me with this."
Danny pulled him close once more.
"Thank you," he murmured into Jason's shoulder, "for being so trustworthy."
Jason doesn't remember when they pulled away, or even when the father-daughter duo left his apartment. He just floated around his apartment in a haze. And if anyone saw the Red Hood absentmindedly trip over a crack in the sidewalk later that night- well, no they didn't.
~~~
About a week or so later, Jason stood in front of his fridge staring at leftovers from last night's family dinner.
As much as everyone hated to acknowledge it, Alfie was getting up there in years. That's why Jason had started showing up earlier to help him in the kitchen, since with the way the Bats ate it was like cooking for a small army. Of course this also meant Jason got sent home with heaps of extra leftovers.
~"You helped make it my boy, only right to take your fair share home"~
Not that Jason was complaining, that meant more food he could offer to some Alley kids or someone else who could use the meal. He pulls out the disposable tupperware he keeps of situations like this and begins portioning out pasta salad and chicken biryani into the smaller containers.
Something in the back of his head made itself known as he did this.
'The cafeteria food kinda sucked at Gotham Academy when you went there. Ellie starts her first full week tomorrow. What if she has trouble focusing because she's not getting proper nutrition?' it whispered. 'And didn't Danny say he was picking up a late shift this evening? What if he's too tired to pack a lunch for either of them cause he's tired from a long day at work?'
Jason's brow creased in discomfort at the thought. The little voice grew bolder.
'You have plenty of food. You should pack some up for them! It's not like you haven't fed them before!'
Before Jason fully realized what he was doing, he began setting aside portions for Danny and Ellie too. He tried not to think too hard as he neatly printed their names on to brown paper bags. Maybe not the prettiest, but they got the job done.
'It'd be even better if you had one of those bento lunch boxes. Like the ones those moms use in those aesthetic food packing/serving videos that Tim likes to watch.'
Hhmm, had his inner monologue always been this ... vocal?
Jason wanders out his door and into the hall, brown bags in hand, still contemplating the merits of getting a specialized lunch box. It was only after he knocked on the Nightingales' door that he realized what he'd done.
Danny shouldn't be working till later, but he instantly regrets not asking if it was okay to come over as chills cover his body and the door swings open.
"Jason?" Danny asks quizzically, raising his eyebrows. "Did you need something?"
"Uh I-" Jason flushes with embarrassment. His hand comes up to touch his nape only for Jason to realize he's holding the bags in that hand. He panics for a second before thrusting an arm out to Danny.
"I made lunch for you and Ellie. Something she can take to school, and- uh, for you to take to work?" He gulps, bashfully handing over the lunch to Danny. He winced at how that ended up sounding like a question and rushed to explain himself further.
"You, uh, mentioned picking up a shift later today so I thought I'd- um, save you the trouble of cooking for tomorrow's lunch." He stuttered.
Danny simply took the lunches from Jason's hand and gave him a soft smile in return.
"Thanks. For thinking about us, I mean, and for the lunches."
'His smile is so nice.'
Jason nodded dumbly before pointing down the hall.
"No problem. So I, I should get going. Stuff to do ya know?"
He didn't wait for further response before turning away and leaving with the tips of his ears burning.
~
The next day Jason gets a text in the middle of the day. It's a selfie of Danny beaming at the camera holding up a spoonful of rice.
Jason bangs his head against his desk, scaring Fern, who looks up from where they were doing paperwork. They try to ask if he's okay but Jason simply waves them off.
~
Later that night Jason gets another text.
"She's planning to slip it under your door"
Followed by a picture of a thank you drawing Ellie made him. It's a messy crayon rendition of, who he assumes is himself based on the white streak, in a chef's hat holding a plate of something yellow and brown that he assumes is Ell's rendition of biryani.
A couple of startled henchmen drop the supplies they were moving into a warehouse upon hearing a loud groan. They all turn, on high alert, only to find their boss hunched over as if someone punched him in the gut.
They begin to freak out, asking if he's okay. One of his lieutenants rushes to his side but Jason can't respond. He's too busy internally dying of cuteness.
The drawing finds its way onto his fridge by the next morning.
~~~
Hood would like to say he's surprised but honestly, if you don't experience (or attempt) at least 3 muggings a month or a Rogue attack at least every three months then can you even call yourself a Gothamite?
It's late September now so he supposes they were due for one soon anyway.
But why'd it have to be fucking Kite Man?
At least it was just a D-lister, no need to call in the cavalry. In fact, this was technically Spoiler's take down for the night. The only reason Jason got involved is because the chase led them through the Alley.
The fucker had sent out some of his kite devices to pick random civilians of the street as a distraction cause the man didn't even know how to leverage hostages correctly, the chump.
Hood ended up having to jump in so that Spoiler could continue the pursuit and they were heading out only a few minutes after they came in, leaving Jason to get the civilians down.
Jason set down a young woman who had been on her way home before she'd been "lifted off", for lack of a better term, who hugged him tightly, thanking him for saving her. That's when his comms sprang to life.
~Bzzt~ "Hey Hoodster, just a head's up, those hostage kites are apparently experimental. Might wanna get everyone down before the stop working!" ~Bzzt~ Steph's voice rang through.
Jason cursed as he locked onto the remaining kites. He'd have to be quick about this. Panicking civilians dangle from great heights on experimental kites that could give at any moment were soooo not a good combo.
Jason shot his grapple gun, planning out his route to the-, 1, 2, - 4 civilians that remained in the air. At least he had the advantage of being higher up than the kites were able to go.
Assisted by this height and gravity swooped down, wrapping an arm around another civilian, an older man who hadn't bothered flailing and simply hung in the air, looking like he'd been over this type of bull for the last 20 years.
'Felt, my guy.' Jason thought to himself as he set the man down on an adjacent rooftop. The guy didn't wait for Hood to check if he was okay, simply giving him a quick nod before scaling down the fire escape. Hood huffed internally, amused by such a typical Gothamite response. He turned back to the kites only to notice they'd begun to waver.
'Shit,' Jason though. 'Time to pick up the pace!'
Jason executed two more rescues as fast as he was able to. He was approaching the location of the fourth when a cool sensation washed over him and a sense of dread formed in his stomach.
The kite holding the last remaining civilian gave out and the dark-haired figure began to plummet.
Hood could feel his body go on autopilot as his mind swung into overdrive. He plotted the arc of his swing, adjusted his body position, calculated the angle he'd have to catch this guy at, and shifted his strength into one arm, leaving his other open for catching.
40 feet off the ground, Jason made contact. He wrapped his arm around the young man's waist, pulling him close in sort of messy dance lift. The man hadn't bothered to flail or struggle as he fell, which made catching him way easier. He felt the man lean into him as he followed through his arc, aiming for a decent place to land.
Once they touched down on a nearby three-story building, Hood released the man, finally allowing himself to take a good look at him.
Of -Freakin'- Course
The Red Hood stared into the icy blue eyes of his neighbor, and more importantly, his crush. Who, decidedly, did not know he was the Red Hood. Shit.
Jason internally freaked out. He could have lost Danny. Ellie could have lost Danny. Jason felt sick at the thought.
However, he couldn't afford to act suspicious and blow his cover. This was technically their first meeting like this and he needed to say something quickly!
Years of training allowed Jason to default to the regular civilian check-in questions.
"Are you okay, sir? No injuries?"
"I'm good, Mr. Hood. Thank you for catching me."
"Well, thanks for not flailing, made yourself easier to catch. Not too shaken up though? Ya weren't too scared?" Hood double checked. Danny gave him a small smile and shook his head.
"Nah, I knew you were coming."
Something in Jason fluttered at the sight. A small sense of pride grew as he realized Danny must have seen him save the others and had faith that Red Hood would save him too.
"I'm glad you're okay. Are you fine to get down yourself?"
Danny nodded at him, before biting at his lower lip. He leaned in to Hood's space and planted a brief peck on the side of his helm.
"Thanks for saving me. My Hero," he whispered before turning tail and booking it to the roof access stairwell.
Hood stood there shell shocked as he watched him go.
'He could have died. But I saved him. And he called me his hero ... and oh-' Jason realizes. 'This is more than a crush. I don't just like Danny. I am in love with him.'
And an odd sort of feeling swirls in his chest because he's not quite sure what to do about that.
~~~
Omake:
Jason: *staring at the place Danny kissed on his helmet*
Jason, angrily: I should have just gone with a like everyone else!
~
Danny: Wait, I kissed his helmet... is that sanitary!!
Danny: *proceeds to go home and wash his mouth with soap*
~
As you know I'm obsessive abt including recipes I researched so Tortellini al Forno - Insanely Good and https://www.sobeys.com/en/recipes/tiramisu-fudge/
Honestly I should add food as a love language in the tags for this
As always I'm open to comments and constructive criticism!
#long post#dc x dp#dead on main#jason todd#danny phantom#dp x dc#hbsd#HBSD#How to Become a Step-Dad#food as a love language#gift giving#hero rescue#displays of trust#fluff#like 3 second of extremely minor angst#ides of march#happy stab caesar day!
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Friends, Romans, and countrymen, they did it again🔪



The social media person at SparkNotes deserves a raise.
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if you know, you know
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Graphic design is my passion ✨️
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