#happy oog year

[drawfee-quot3s]

the police are too afraid to shart

- jacob

[omega-e123]

i love the way you write Shadow. I don’t know it’s just so in character of him. Not overly flirtatious, but is subtlety suave at affections. 🙏

AHDOSHSOSHSJSS

THANK YOU V MUCH!! REALLY!! IT MEANS A LOT TO ME

It makes me happy to know I’m not deviating too far from his canon personality. (Even though Boom!Shadow that…. I will ignore. IDW is a hit or miss, theres def some characterization I don’t like, and some spot on from past renditions.)

“Mini” Ranting about out his character below.

I like to think that he’s not really familiar with romantic love. It’s all pretty new to him, but that doesn’t mean Shadow isn’t completely in the dark. hehe

To me, he seems like the type of guy to begrudgingly (/p) go to Rouge and Amy for advice, tips, help. Take things nice and easy.

Shadow’s a smart guy! He can figure things out.

Look at him in SA2 when interacting with Eggman. The mysterious mild manipulation of promise granting him a wish if Egg did his bidding for Chaos emeralds. That’s just one example.

He’s also gentle and kind when he wants to be. At heart a really caring person.

Obviously, his relationship with Maria is a prime example.

There’s the instance of when Amy went to hug him from behind, mistaken for Sonic. He doesn’t push her away. Let’s it happen, stay there until she’s realized her mistake. Looking at the cutscene, it sort of looks like when she runs off, Shadow’s curious about her.

Then the time where he saves Rouge from blowing up, risking his self. It was SO close. The timing of when Shadow came to pick her up. There’s ‘06 too. Which again, I think is his best character arc. The power slide to catch Rouge from falling. OOG. I LOVE THAT SCENE SO MUCH. There’s also in heroes where he gets her to safety when Omega went berserk.

Helped out Sonic too— Most notable ones I can think of is jumping in front of Silver, allow Sonic to escape and save Elise. The other one is when the Phantom Ruby copy of him went to fuck Sonic up and he intervened. Also the entirety of Sonic Prime!

I DIGRESS.

Shadow can also at the same time be a smug, prideful, little shit. Loot at that face!!! He’s so proud of himself.

Of course he’s going to distance himself from people. Imagine having someone you deeply care about die right in front of you again. There’s nothing more that could have been done to save you. Yeah, I’d avoid getting too close to people too!

Shadow is a little meow meow that is doing his best. Give this guy a hug.

Update:

After SxSh Gen, he is shown to be SO much more expressive and more open with his emotions with Maria and Professor Gerald. Spoilers ahead!

After meeting them again, he's quick to think about saving them, not thinkng about the consequences of what that may bring.

His anxiety being shown. Reassuring not only them but himself that his family will be fine. Along with actually showing his panic when they begin to disappear. The facial expression and Shadow's tone of voice. He's not hiding it at all.

GOSH THE SMILE. HIS SMILE. THE SLOW WALKING BACKWARDS, NOT WANTING TO BREAK CONTACT WITH MARIA.

As his relationship grows with his significant other, the more connected to his emotions and safe he feels to display them to you and ONLY YOU.

I definitely think comparing his personality 1 year into the relationship versus 10 years is drastic. First year, he's more cautious. Not just with his inner thoughts but with accidentally offending you. Shadow knows he can be blunt and straight forward. Over time he's so much more comfortable telling you waht is on his mind. Shadow still needs his time to brood and collect himself; however, it comes more naturally to him to reach out when needed.

[dollsonmain]

So I've been sleeping in the guest room for a little over a week and I think I've slept more in that time than I have in years despite the sinus destroying allergies.

Sleeping in the master bedroom is-

get ready for bed

go to bed at 8

turn over a lot

drift off just in time for That Guy to slam his way into the room around 10pm startling me and giving me an anxiety spike with heart palpitations and nausea

he flops on the bed to plug in his phone (this was a lot worse all those years that he refused to get any bed other than an air mattress, it's not so bad now on a memory foam mattress which I bought because I was fed up, but still annoying) which goes BLOOP!, throws it on the box that serves as our headboard THUNK, then gets up and goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth in the loudest, most drawer-slamming way possible (I suspect this is all deliberate to be sure I am awake and "available")

he flops back into the bed, throws his glasses on the box THUNK, yanks the blankets, huffs loudly, and lays there a while

I desperately try to come down off of that nightly adrenaline spike

turn over a lot because adrenaline = tension = body hurty

he wraps himself around me (I don't mind this, really, but I have to move a lot due to discomfort and adrenaline)

eventually he goes back to his side of the bed (which is 2/3 of the bed), may or may not solicit sex

I'm wadded up in a tight, tense ball with no space to spread out

hot cold hot cold hot cold hot cold while the adrenaline fades

turn over a lot

I may or may not fall asleep

his alarm goes off at 3:30, and mine does, too, because he forgets to set his sometimes which is annoying because you can set the alarm to go off on specific days which is what I've done

slam the phone again

big annoyed huffffffffffff

fresh, new, shower time bathroom slamming

untie my knotted self ow ow ow ow ow

I drag myself out of bed

I make the bed, turn on the closet light, go downstairs and make my coffee

Sleeping in the guest room is-

get ready for bed

waddle down the hall (loud, annoyed huff from the living room)

close the blinds and curtains

turn off air filter because Loud

go to bed at 8

turn over a few times

oog my sinuses

kick out m'leggy a few times until settled

pass out until morning alarm at 3:30 unless I snore myself awake at some point😬

one ow maybe 👍

open the blinds and curtains

turn on air filter

I make the bed, go down the hall, make the other bed, turn on the closet light, go downstairs and make my coffee

I have more energy and less pain, but more sinus discomfort and That Guy is NOT happy about this arrangement at all because he's sleeping alone by my choice instead of his. He had been sleeping on the living room floor before I moved into the guest room.

[russell-crowe]

the sun is shining and i am almost done with my final commitment that has a deadline (illustrations for our study associations magazine) and im seeing pulp tonight, who are playing my country for the first time in 23 years, and i am happy.

and to add to that: new spinvis collab with a band i really like? 🥰🥰🥰❤️✨

[whataphantasia]

oog i keep forgetting to post here,,, i did a really big oc x canon promptlist on my alt twitter acc like, last year, and i like the stuff i did for it so im posting it here :3

day 1: dancing

needed to draw this for the fic where they dance at prom and a destroyed universe respectively ^_^

day 2: stargazing. the thumbnail image at the top :D

day 3: phone call

day 4: (not so) sneaky glances

ely sits inbetween these two in class. they have to deal with them staring daggers at each other. very stressful sorry ely </3 here's the doodle from like 2019 that made me wanna draw this

also like there's this moment in the fic where eadr is watching mysterious mysteries together and..... HSHSBDHSHDGDHDHS

day 5: "i'm proud of you"

THESE TWO NEED VALIDATION SO BAD RAGHHH don't @ me about the lighting on zim IK ITS REVERSED,,,

day 6: music/playlist. i didn't make any art for this but i did show off my playlists for zaeadr :D i will not elaborate here bc I Don't Feel Like It.

day 7: whispers

this is actually a redraw... :3c specieswap eadr! so cute :)

day 8: closeness

ok i didnt actually make any new art for this i just posted two old ones from 2021 LOL

day 9: protectiveness (CW blood)

dib and zim r dangerous to have as love interests come on ely 😔

day 10: "how was your day" (CW blood as well)

ely needs to tell him to stop tracking blood into the house.....

day 11: one wish

WOW something NOT ely related?! anyways ana and ad's whole love arc is kinda like... they both have responsibilities and unrequited feelings. moreso than my other oc x canon pairings. i think them a lot

day 12: matching accessories

cove jumpscare. IDK I WAS THINKING ABOUT THE MATCHING KEYCHAINS HE BUYS FOR MC... this is reiner btw i was playing as xim in my like 3rd playthrough >_< xe's fond of spoiling him with gifts, more than my other mcs...

day 13: nightmare

it took me 13 days to break and make sans x shelby art SJWKDJWJ anyway. shelby doesn't meet him pre-corruption but whatever i think they're cute

day 14: makeup

I HATE THIS DRAWING RAAAA but ely likes asking to do his nails ^_^ even tho theyre terrible at it but he doesnt mind :3c

day 15: "you are my happiness"

ok uhh my bad this isn't oc x canon LOL. but... erfi and ana... have a lot of angst like halfway/early in their arc bc erfi sees her as a beacon of light/savior, especially due to her current relationship with the ppl in her life.................... they get better dw!!! ad goes through a similar arc so i think that was how i tied it into the oc x canon promptlist LMAO

day 16: indirect kiss

SODA BOTTLE... IF YOU KNOW YOU KNOW. i've talked about this scene in the fic NON STOP to my close friends.... its when dib realizes he has a crush on ely...... i drew this like in 2021 SHWJSJW

day 17: morning cuddles

SORRY i just think it's a super funny possibility that zim becomes domestic. idc if it's out of character thats why its funny U_U!!

oh and uhm yea i have a fankid 4 these guys... have i talked abt her... i dont think i have... but ive drawn her a lot... maybe ill post more art abt her later...

day 18: photoshoot

uhhhmmm im gonna crop this for my tumblr.... yea.... anyways i love the possibility that when they're adults they become super popular, like in dib's wonderful life of doom X)

day 19: voicemail. THAT ONE THING I POSTED!! yes it was a shelby x error thing. i was listening to pick up the phone by fir at the time, which like, its not the errorshelby dynamic at all they're not toxic, but. the vibes... in the fic after shelby leaves the anti void he has a massive crisis... thats what the drawing is...

day 20: "what happened to you"

BRO I HAVE SO MANY IMAGES RELATED TO THIS FOR ANA AND ADAMAÏ... the images explain everything idc read them instead

day 22/23: hand made gift, late night drive

ummmm sooooo theres this chapter in the fic where they go to an echo flower field on the surface at night........ this is that.... DIES

that last one i never posted on twitter :0c and uhm thats all i did of the 30 day promptlist! it was fun! i got to draw so much... yay :3 thats all. explodes in embarrassment

[woahpinkhorsegirl]

D oOG

Jack and Pretzel!

To explain Pretzel's parental situation, his mum got her brother to donate his sperm so her wife could carry a pup

So the two of them could have a somewhat biological child. Pretzel knows about this, he just doesn't care lol.

Also yes Lulu is married to Lila's brother lol

Im not sure if gynecomastia is something you can really be "diagnosed" with, as much as it is just an observable symptom of other issues. No amount of research really clarified that for me. But the basic gist is that Jack, a cis man, started getting a bigger chest and he didnt really want that. Surprisingly not that many people know this can happen lol

Also yes, pretzel is the household dinner-maker, and all four other household members absolutely *love* his food. His mums taught him well.

Also, happy new year to everyone reading this! Here's hoping 2025 isn't as bad! (Hoping)

[so0ppa]

dude idk what it is about the drawfee stream vod "happy oog year" but goddamnit its insanely funny im genuinely crying. what did they put in this shit . cocaine ?

[fluffyydumplings]

Change

Witch One Will Win? - Part 6

Summary: Jimin’s transformed completely. Is that so bloody terrible though? Rawr!

Word Count: 568

Pairings: dragon hybrid!reader x witch!yoongi x swan hybrid!jimin / alien!jungkook x vampire!hoseok x werewolf!taehyung

Genre: fluff / crack!au / angst / fantasy!au / sci-fi!au

Warning: species extinction (fairies)

A/N: Meow ha ha ha... I cackled for two minutes after writing this. This drabble made me really happy. It felt like I was jumping on clouds that roar.. - absolute crack is what this chapter is.. :)

Previous

Next

Series Masterlist

‘So... You want me to go in there and pretend to be a vampire?’ Jimin eyes Yoongi suspiciously.

‘Yes.. Yes,’ Yoongi nods, smiling ever so innocently.

‘You do realise that Seok Seok’s a vampire right? Whatever his name is...’

‘No.. The fangs are for decoration, Mr Chim Chim.’

‘So..?’ his eyes enlarge dramatically, waiting for a reply as a bewildered look enchants him.

Tik.. Tok.. Tik.. Tok..

‘I’m a witch. Bibidi Bobidi Boo.’

‘That old lady who helped the e girl was arrested for smuggling fairy dust two thousand years ago - stripped off of her godmother tittle. Fairy dust was and is on the brick of extinction. It’s illegal to use it until the royal court finds a way to maintain the substance from disappearing completely.’

‘The poor fairy population was wiped out completely two and a half thousand years ago. It’s a miracle that we still have that dusty stuff.’

‘Are you an encyclopedia?’ mouth agape, she blinks a couple of times.

‘That’s not important here.. What do you plan to do?’

‘I’ll use a few spells on you. The spell will only last for forty minutes. It’ll mask your scent, give you two pretty little vivis, and make you appear more intimidating.’

‘You’re the cutest little shit out there. Only me and Y/N gets to see that.’

And then off she goes to add herbs into a cauldron.

‘I’m brewing tea.’

This is not a children’s fairy tale book of some sort, ladies and gentlemen + humans in general..

‘Go fetch the spellbook, Mr Chim Chim,’ she directs her lips to the said book.

‘You didn't ask whether I’d agree to this or not?’ he’s not angry, just teasing around.

‘Will you?’

‘Yes..’

‘Now... Now.. Spell Book.’

‘Fucking Hell.. Fucking Hell.. Turn thee into blood.. Turn thee into blood sucking.. Turn thee into blood sucking creature.. No more lic.. No more gar.. Only Ti.. Only midating.. Only In.. Blood thee.. Blood thee.’

‘Gar rrrrrrrr... Rrrrrrrr... Grr.. Awwwwwooo.. Noo.. Grrrrr grrrr rrrr.. Yeah... Yeah... Grrrrr rrrr.’

Oh.. no, no, no.. She isn’t done yet. Not even close..

‘Grrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrr... Rrrrrrrrrrrrr… B.. Eeeeh.. L..... Eeeeh... O.... Eeek oog ag ag.. O... Grrrrrrr.. D... Grrrrrrr rrrrrr rrr.. Rawr.’

There we go!

‘Are you done yet?’ teeth clamped together awkwardly, Jimin remains still.

‘Look into the looking glass,’ she pulls him to the reflecting object on the wall.

‘Ooh.. I look good,’ licking his lips and pushing his hair back, he coos.

‘Say eeeeeh.’

What the fuck? But.. Okay?

‘Eeeeeh... Ak.. Ak.. Now, I can chop wood with my teeth.’

‘They’re not beaver teeth..’

A moment of silence for Mr Chim Chim..

‘Now, I can chomp on paper.’

‘You could probably do that with your regular teeth!’ you almost scare the shit out of him - you did.

‘I’ll bite you.. Grrrrr,’ he threatens.

‘Vampires don’t drink blood or do that creepy shit you think they do. Their genes have evolved over the centuries. How many times do I have to tell you that?’ she cries in annoyance.

‘Grrrrrrrr...’

‘Ahhhhhhh... I’m so scared-’

‘Gnaw.. Gnaw.. Gnaw..’ he doesn't sink his teeth into your flesh, and just pretends to do so.

‘Oh.. No.. Oh... No..’ you pretend to collapse.

Helpless to your antics, Yoongi watches..

‘Halmi.. Halmi!’

‘It’s.. help me, human!’

‘What are you going to do about it, Vamp?’

‘Ahhahaaa haaa.’

‘Wait.. Wait! Do I look convincing?’

‘Convincing my foot.’

‘Your foo-’

You have unlocked Park Jimin’s Mood Board ;)

[juniperleafdelivery]

Hey! It's Oakie's Birthday!

* summary: It's a very special day for a very special cat. And it must be celebrated in a very special way! So, Oakie convinces her sibling Neepo to go to the beach with her. Nothing bad can come from a fun trip, right?

* content warning: drowning mention, getting eaten by sharks mention, oakie floats away in the ocean

* a birthday oneshot for @mentheii!! happy birthday to you, dumb cat <3

Neepo was sprawled on his bed in a very unflattering display. But cat didn't care, as he was peacefully asleep and snoring.

Oakie, on the other paw, very much cared. She burst into the room, leaping onto Neepo's bed and knocking the unsuspecting cat out.

Neepo tumbled onto the hard floor, now very awake and very upset. "Hrrrrrrr-" cat scrambled to his feet. "OAKIE!!"

The offending cat was perched on Neepo's bed, grinning down at him. "Hey Neepo! It's my birthday!"

"Oog. One year closer to death you are." Oakie's irritating smile instantly flipped to a frown. "Let's go to the beach! I wanna go swimming in the ocean!! Not listen to you go on and on and on and on-"

"You'll drown. Or get eaten by a shark."

"No!! I am too rich and famous to die!!"

"Sure." Neepo clearly wasn't convinced as he began shuffling out of the room. "Hey! Where are you going?" Oakie exclaimed.

"Outside. Taking my golf cart to the beach."

She brightened instantly at those words. "Sheee haaa! Let's go!!"

It was a short trip to the beach, but felt excruciatingly long due to Oakie's constant nagging about Neepo's driving.

"Turn left! No, turn right now! You will arrive in 1,000 feet! Neepo, you suck at driving!!"

Now, free from her shrill complaints, Neepo was stretched out on a towel in the sun. Cat also wore dark shades, blending in with his black fur.

He wasn't worried about what Oakie did for two reasons: it was her birthday, and if Oakie did get into trouble, she was smart (and rich) enough to get herself out.

Meanwhile, Oakie was slowly testing the salty waters with a paw. It wasn't freezing cold fortunately, prompting Oakie to dive in without a second thought. She floated among the waves, enjoying the water lapping against her fur.

"And it's less salty than Neepo!" she said aloud. Oakie paused, noticing her surroundings were quickly turning into open ocean. She shrieked and flailed upon realizing that she was drifiting off to sea.

In the distance, she could see the small black dot that was Neepo. Oakie howled, cursing her sibling as the source of her agony. But her tantrums proved futile, as Oakie continued floating off into the horizon.

...

Just kidding. Oakie gets picked up by a passing crew of fishers, who also happen to be huge fans. They bring her to a nearby dock, where she takes a taxi back home.

As for Neepo? He stays on the beach, dozing away in the sun.

[scaryscarecrows]

Breathe In, Breathe Out (Let the Human In)

AN: Happy deathday, Jason! Title from Of Monsters and Men's 'Human'. Arkham Asylum alternate ending thingy.

TW for attempted suicide.

* * *

It’s the Joker’s fault.

Well, okay, fine, it’s ninety percent the Joker’s fault and ten percent Cobblepot being a nosey Nellie, but because she hates him and he isn’t her boss, Dove is going to lay all the blame on the clown.

And he’s the one who made this spectacle, so there.

Whoever’s fault it is, Cobblepot demanded they trek to Arkham. He says that it’s because he’s a donor and has rights to see what’s going on. Dove knows for a fact he hasn’t donated a damn cent since his stint as the mayor way back when, but he’s playing at being Legal for now and, well, she’s curious too. Batman is there. Arkham’s got a pretty full house tonight. And the news is saying something about monsters.

The news is not wrong. Batman is here, on the roof, with--

Oh my God.

That’s. That’s Joker, but...but he’s done something to himself. Something awful. He’s monstrous, with...with spines (no, not spines, his spine, his bones) jutting up out of his torn back, and he’s. He’s huge, big enough to pick up Batman. And Dove’s been up close to Batman before, been picked up by the guy, even. He’s not small.

“What’s going on?” Cobblepot demands. He’s not alone. She recognizes some of the men gathered here, at the police barricade. Most of them are as corrupt as they come. “Jim! Jim, come here, I demand--”

“You don’t get to demand anything--”

Above them, Joker laughs. Dove has faith that Batman will stop him. He always does.

(He has to.)

She ducks, though, when the clown turns to peer down at them, and turns her head away. And that’s the only reason she sees the thin, trembling shadow stumbling out from one of the buildings.

Between the floodlights and the chopper, the lawn’s lit right up. The orange jumpsuit sticks out like a sore thumb and her first thought is ZSASZ.

“Harvey!” Harvey Bullock turns, toothpick already half-shredded in his teeth. “There’s a--”

“Shit--”

The shadow goes down and no, that’s not Zsasz. There’s hair. Harvey approaches so Jim can deal with this shitshow, turns the man(?) onto his back. There’s silence, followed by a horrified, “What the fuck?”

“What now?”

“What is going on--”

“Harvey?”

An explosion draws Jim back to his radio, shouting at the chopper to GET BACK GET OUT OF THERE RIGHT NOW. Dove risks inching towards Harvey and the orange shadow.

“Harvey?”

“Jesus Christ…” He’s all but sitting on his hands. “Jesus Christ, kid, what happened to you?”

Kid? That’s a kid?

“Who is that?”

He looks up, hat falling off.

“I think it’s Robin.”

No, Robin would be...up…

Oh.

Oh, my God.

She does go closer at that, and it is Robin. Not the current one, the new one, but the one before. The one Joker...Joker’d got hold of him...God, over a year ago, now, sent a tape out a few months back.

He’d been dead. Finally, Dove remembers thinking guiltily, out of his misery.

But apparently not. He’s older than she remembers (of course he is), but...but there’s a brand on his face, a goddamn ‘J’ burned into his skin like he’s a piece of meat rather than a boy, and he’d had that…

“Robin?” she whispers. “Can you hear me, sweetheart?”

He’s breathing, harsh, ragged gasps that stutter and catch (broken ribs or scared or...?), and he flinches when Joker starts laughing again.

“What did that bastard do to you, kid?” Harvey breathes, finally inching out a hand to brush against the orange jumpsuit. The thing’s hanging off the kid’s frame and it’s stained and torn. “Jesus…”

Robin’s eyes flicker open, and a second later he jolts upright for all of four seconds before collapsing back to the grass.

“No no no--”

“Robin. Robin! Look at me, sweetheart, c’mon, you’re okay, you’re okay, just--”

He freezes, eyes going from the medical building to Harvey to her. Then he swallows, hard, and whispers, “This is real?”

Harvey shucks off his coat and lays it over him as gently as possible.

“Here you go, kid. Just. Just stay real still, huh? Everything’s fine. You’re fine.”

“You promise--you promise you’re not--”

“Shh.” Dove reaches over, intending to just...ruffle his hair, or something, and he flinches back, eyes squeezed shut like he thinks she’s going to hurt him.

“No no please m’sorry m’sorry--”

“Don’t be sorry, honey.” Jesus… “There’s nothing to be sorry for. You’re okay, you’re gonna be okay, it’s over. We’re not gonna hurt ya, honey, I promise.”

He just lies there, shuddering under Harvey’s coat, and finally opens his eyes to look up at the sky.

“S’over?” he breathes. “I...you promise…” He cuts himself off with a choked sob and spits out, “I can’t go back.”

Jim’s suddenly there, confused and demanding to know, “What’s going on? Who the hell--”

Robin jerks at the suddenness of it all and the next thing Dove knows, he’s jolted up and all but crawled into her lap.

“What the hell--”

“Please--”

“Dammit, Jim, now look what you did--”

“Sh-sh-sh, kiddo, s’just Jim. S’just Jim.” Robin the Second is not pocket-sized. Once upon a time, almost. Enough. But pocket-sized or not, he’s emaciated and feverish and terrified. “S’just Jim.”

“It’s Robin,” Harvey’s explaining, voice cracking and shocked. “Jesus, Jim, it’s fuckin’ Robin, Joker didn’t--he’s still alive--”

Robin cringes at another explosion, scrunching down and burying his head against her neck with a whimper. Dove risks touching the back of his head, and when he doesn’t panic, runs her fingers through his hair. It’s matted and stiff and there’s a lump at the base of his skull.

“Shh, shh,” she murmurs. “It’s okay, you’re okay...we gotcha, we gotcha…”

“Mm--”

“Shh, Robin--”

“Jason,” he whispers, so quiet that she nearly misses it. “S’Jason--h-he would’a come for Robin an’ he left me with him--”

That is a can of worms she’s not getting into.

“Okay. Okay, Jason.”

He’s quiet after that, breathing slow and careful and clearly trying to calm himself down. And he’s almost there, or at least he’s not crying anymore, when Batman is suddenly there.

“Jim--”

Jason flinches and tries to curl into a ball, whispering, “Nonono I can’t do this again I can’t do this again…”

Batman stills and sinks into a crouch. Jason’s trembling in Dove’s arms and when Batman half-reaches towards him he all but knocks her over trying to get away.

“Shh, baby, shh, s’just Batman--”

“Get away!” He pulls free and crab-crawls backwards before collapsing on the grass. “Get away from me--please--”

She’s seen Batman be still before, but not like this. He’s, well, he’s shocked. Jason’s shuddering with dry sobs, and when Batman does finally move again, he squirms back behind Dove.

“Sweetheart, no one’s gonna hurt you--”

“You left me!” He jabs an accusing finger at the Bat. “You left me with him, you replaced me, you left me to die!” He struggles to his knees, wheezing. “Joke’s on you, Batman, I didn’t! So tell them! Tell them what happened, just...just…” He wobbles and winds up curled on his side, shaking. “Where the hell were you?”

Batman just looks at him like he can’t believe he’s here and breathes, “I thought you were dead.”

To be fair, that was...everyone did. Joker had sent that tape around, laughing all the while, and…

“Not the whole time,” Jason spits. “You replaced me in what, a week? If? Come on, Batman, quit hiding behind your pathetic excuses! World’s greatest detective, my ass, if you were, you would. Have. Looked.”

“Robin--”

“I’m not Robin anymore! Robin’s dead!” He pauses, and a sick smile creeps over his face. “Or. I guess not, huh? You got a nice, shiny new one! Where’d you find this one, the Wal-Mart parking lot? Amazon dot fucking com? Inquiring minds wanna know!”

Batman’s still and silent. Twenty feet away, the Joker’s being loaded onto a gurney. He’s normal-sized again, looks like shit (good), and giggling; until he thrashes his head.

And sees what’s going on.

Joker doesn’t laugh all the time. That’s a common misconception. But he laughs enough that when he stops, when that smile drops, that most people would rather be locked in a room with Scarecrow than be anywhere near him.

And he’s not laughing now.

“How did you…”

Jason freezes, smile vanishing. He manages, somehow, to go even paler before curling into a small ball, arms over his head.

“Get that animal out of here,” Batman snarls, and Dove’s never heard him sound like that. She’s not scared of the Bat...but tonight, she could be.

“How did you get out, you sorry little brat?!” The clown jerks against the restraints and they rattle. They’re not gonna give, surely they’re not gonna give, he’s small again--

Batman’s suddenly right up against him, hand at his throat.

“That’s enough.”

Joker looks from Jason to Batman and back again before plastering that godawful grin back on his face.

“You don’t think he wants you back, do you?” His voice is strangled. “Not after everything you’ve done--oog!”

Mercifully-finally-Batman slams his head back hard enough to either knock him out or shut him up. Dove doesn’t care which. He steps back, turns around, and finds Harvey Bullock in his space.

Harvey...Harvey talks a big game. But he’s a big old softie, really, and he had a fondness for Robin the Second*. And a long-standing distrust of Batman. With everything that happened, that distrust had only grown.

“I think you owe the kid some answers,” he says, voice trembling with barely-suppressed rage. “Where were you, exactly? How did you miss this?”

“Get out of my way, Bullock.”

“How long was he missing before you mentioned it? Or kidnapped the current one, huh? If you’d kept that pointy nose of yours out of our cases for once--”

“Bullock--”

“--you might’ve found him!”

Batman is, surprise, surprise, silent. Dove knows this kind of silence; men get like this before they. Before they hurt people.

“Bullock,” he says at last, voice very, very, low, “step aside before I force you aside.”

He’s bloody, holding one arm funny, and breathing far too evenly. Even Jim’s wary now, one hand inching towards his gun. Harvey huffs.

“Screw you,” he says, but he’s not dumb enough to fight Batman, and he steps aside. Batman’s still pissed, still ready for what Dove knows will be a one-sided fight, but he manages a stiff nod before turning that laser-focus back to Jason.

Jason’s still huddled in a ball. The fight’s gone out of him, the insane smile and that...that shine in his eyes. He’s not looking at Batman though, or at Joker. He’s just curled over his knees, arms wound around his ribs and head ducked down. Defensive, ready for a beating.

“Hey-hey, baby,” she murmurs, “no one’s gonna hurt you. Come on now, you’re okay.”

Jason uncurls a little, eyes wide, and before anyone can react he’s lunged at Jim and gotten the pistol out of his holster and aimed it at Batman.

“M’not doing this again,” he says, carefully flat. “M’not falling for it.”

“Robin--”

“Kid--”

“M’not falling for this again!” His eyes are wide and tears are running down his cheeks, but his hands are steady. Too steady. “I remember! I learned my lesson! M’not gonna let you get close enough to beat the crap outta me again!”

“Robin,” Batman breathes, and he’s not scary anymore. He’s just a man. “Robin, I never--”

“Stay back!”

Everybody knows Batman can disarm people in the blink of an eye. Dove’s not so sure he can get that gun from Jason before he pulls the trigger.

Jesus Christ, what did Joker do to him…

“All right,” Batman says softly. “All right. I’ll stay right here, and you can put the gun down--”

“No!” The word echoes off the buildings, a frantic, NONONONONONONONONO! “You think I’m stupid?” He laughs. It’s a flat, angry laugh that reminds Dove uncomfortably of the Joker. “You always did, huh?”

“I never--”

“Shut up!” Now he’s starting to shake a little and she sees Harvey shift, just a bit. Jason doesn’t appear to notice. “Just shut up, stop talking to me!”

“Hey. Kid.” What the fuck, Harvey? “C’mon, look at me.” Harvey steps closer. “C’mon. He’s not gonna get ya, just look at me.”

Dove doesn’t think he will, but she’s proven wrong. He doesn’t say anything, and he doesn’t lower the gun, but he looks at Harvey.

“Good. Good, kid. Now just calm down, okay? No one’s gonna hurt ya, this isn’t…” He takes another step. “This isn’t like that.”

“No, no…”

“Hey. You’re not gonna break my heart an’ tell me I laid a finger on ya, are ya?” Harvey manages, God knows how, to give Jason a real smile. “And you know Dove’s not gonna hurt ya, right? You’re out, kid. You’re okay. So Bats is a bit of a dope--” Batman radiates mild offense. “--but he’s been lookin’ all over the place for you. So come on. Put the gun down.”

People underestimate Harvey sometimes. He’s a disaster, smokes too much and doesn’t clean and yeah, his landlord did try to murder him that one time and Dove could totally see where he was coming from, but...he’s a good guy. Mostly. He’s the kinda cop that she would’ve talked to as a little girl, y’know? He does his best for this hellhole of a city.

Jason’s arms shake and the guns do start lowering. Dove’s just thinking maybe he’ll be okay when he looks back at Batman and whispers, “I can’t.”

“Can’t what, Robin?” Batman’s voice is very, very soft. “Talk to me, son.”

Jason hiccups and spits out, “I killed people! Beat ‘em to death because they looked like you, they looked like you, they were gonna kill me--”

Jesus. Jesus Christ--

Jason’s still blubbering, voice thick and angry and horrified.

“--you’re not gonna want me anymore and I can’t go back to him I can’t I can’t--”

“You’re not going back to him,” Batman insists. “You’re never going back to him, we’re going--”

“No.” Jason swallows and when he speaks again, his voice is steady enough. “No. S’okay, B. There’s no fixin’ me, I know. S’okay.”

He raises the gun again, presses it to his head.

“M’sorry.”

Dove doesn’t see Batman move. One minute he’s over there, and the next minute, Jason’s disappeared under a shadow and the gun’s out of his hand. Jim grabs it and backs away.

Batman stands up, keeping Jason’s arms behind his back. Jason’s slumped forward, breathing hard.

“Listen to me,” he says, the softness of his tone a stark contrast to the firm restraint, “there is nothing you could do that would make me leave you with that monster. I promise.”

“But I--”

“Agent A’s missed you,” he continues. “And Nightwing, and. And Batgirl. I’m sorry, Robin, for failing you. But I never left you, and I certainly never replaced you. We can fix this, at home.” He sighs. “Come home, son.”

Jason bursts into tears, legs buckling under him, and Batman turns him around to hug him.

“Dad--”

“I’ve got you,” Batman murmurs. “I’ve got you. We’re going home right now.”

Dove wonders how-they all saw the destroyed car, Cobblepot had laughed about it-when there’s a noise that can only be described as Hell dropping out of the sky and a…

Oh. Right. Batman not only has a car, he also has a goddamn plane. Because that’s just something that he needs.

The plane lands on the lawn. Batman picks Jason up-looks a little awkward, with the growth spurt the kid’s managed-and turns around.

Nobody tries to stop him. Nobody even says anything until the plane’s in the air, and then Harvey sighs, flicks his toothpick away, and turns to Dove.

“Fuck it,” he says roughly. “You got a cigarette?”

She should say no. He’s been tryin’ to quit, doin’ real good, but…

She needs a smoke too, after that.

“Here.”

THE END

*Canon! (It’s mutual. It’s precious.

[total-television-productions-act]

happy (looks at smudged writing on hand) valentines day

full pic on my deviantart, creator of the meme didn’t want crossposts

here’s the explanations tho

Adorable - Shoeshine/Polly -yeah. i don't think anything needs explaining here, they're both silly, they're in love, and they're silly in love. Hot - Riff/Taptap -Riff and Taps are... uh, definitely up there in "amount of carnal thoughts I have." which is what i took it as. they're very, ahem, active in their bedroom; both vers, brat/dom, the Gang's real open and casual about sex, and that's where we'll leave that. Sensible - Tennessee/Chumley -they're roommates. nah, this one is based on me watching some bumpers & scenes for my... my horrible terrible everything rewatch. there were two scenes where Tennessee held Chumley's arm and it just... stuck out to me? two buds don't hold arms like that Sweet - Yak/Baldy -my Yak is incredibly nervous. Baldy is incredibly confident. together, they love eachother so much and encourage eachother to either get out of their comfort zones, or take a chill moment. Potential - Biggie/Odie -i ship this in an "they're exes, and i can't see them rekindling" way, but its the ex that has the potential. i do think Odie has a perfectly reasonable reason to hate Biggie and Itchy, but, like... the relationship they have under a lenses of "we used to be so close. we used to love eachother. what happened to him?" oog. Healthy - well... -i couldn't think of a ship that i shipped for the sole reason that they would have a good relationship. there's always something a little deeper, more complex, that they would do together or have in common. so, imagine whatever you want here. New - Lois/Tooter/Black Bark -i came up with this one last year during pride month. i was coloring in Tooter's flag, and it was going to be an ally flag, but then I looked at my character list... and remembered who Black Bark was.... and immediately started crafting a romantic story about Tooter discovering himself and realizing that he is in love with this man he idolizes, a man he idolizes so much that he always asked Mr. Wizard to make Black Bark his rival in imagine spots, because Tooter believed he could do absolutely anything. -so no one but Tooter was surprised, obviously. his father Mr Wizard, being polyam himself, encouraged Tooter to look into it and maybe date both Lois and Bark, if that's what he wanted. so now they're in a triad (Lois & Bark are friends, so their dating is really in between "dating" and "friendship," but both are dating Tooter.) Canon - Underdog/Polly -read Shoeshine/Polly Understanding - Biggie/Itchy -not in canon. but, well, feeling constantly overshadowed and being abused your whole life, hoping desperately to become something larger than you are, and being raised in a poor household where it seems like crime is the only thing you can do with your life, because  what else could you be good for? it gets to you. good thing Big and Itchy have eachother. Different - Crimp/Oak -Crimp is an e-boy. Oak is a hard workin man. can i make it any more obvious? Oak was a punk, Crimp did ballet, what more can i say? Same - Tennessee/Jerboa -imo, Tennessee and Jerboa are the same person. Jerboa is just a little more, well, eager to jump the gun and go straight to cheating, while Tux will do a little lying but ultimately do an honest job. so, yeah, they'd get along famously if they could just put their egos on the shelf for a minute. and i chose to believe that they do. Subtext - Stringer/Tubby -(gets out my string board) i have a few crackpot theories about the Beagles, the cartoon. for the longest time i thought the song Man in the Moon was literally referring to falling in love with the Man in the Moon ("way up above me / he's made to love me" sounding like gay sex vs it being "way up above me / he made you love me" sounding like wingmanning.) it's not, but that's the first part. the second part is in Humpty Dumpty, where Stringer and Tubby are sleeping in the same bed together, which is what this pic is based on. -my crack theory goes that the canon versions of Stringer and Tubby were a gay couple, and even if it wasn't stated, it was horribly obvious. thus when it performed poorly compared to the Beatles cartoon, there was enough reason to bury it in obscurity almost completely. -.....i'm sure it's not true, but it's neat, isn't it? anyway, my Stringer and Tubby are gay married because of the bed scene. that's all. Fanwork - Dyna + Riff -so... ok. you may be looking ahead and saying "Ale, how come you have Riff in the 'no one else' spot when he's here?" well... it's because i'm a fraud, and this is a friendship. there's not a lot of Underdog fanwork that includes shipping outside of Underdog/Polly, and if there was one, well, it didn't stick with me. until i found.... "Not so Sweet Polly Purebred" on Adult Fanfiction. it's a good fic but let's just say it deserves it's place on adult fanfic. (it has sexual assault, faked suicides and attempted murder in it, for reference.) -anyway, in this fic it has Riff and Dyna as a very horny couple for eachother. i think the scene was Riff trying to feel Dyna up at the pool table. well, both of these people in my world are big big gay, so that surely won't do but them being bffs intrigued me. so, yeah. that's what this ones on. Underrated - Odie/Charlie -Sticky Stuff/Am I Glue is my favorite K&O episode for the sole fact that it has Charlie Amiglue in it (i refuse to say his last name, it sounds too racist). it also has Odie being referred to as "sir" in it, and that made me happy. anyway, there's a scene in that ep where Odie and Charlie go to a romantic-looking restaurant to get lunch together and... i always thought it looked like a date. so in my head, it is. No One Else - Riff/Taptap -RiffTaps is the first genuine ship i've ever actually had for Underdog (..the first first one was me/udog, if ur wondering), so I've had a lot of time to consider and love it. and i have, from all the way back in 2016 when i started shipping these two. you'd think i'd be tired of it by now but i really can't get enough of them, and i can't imagine either one with anybody else. their love for eachother is simply too strong! Why Not - Tennessee/Shoeshine/Polly -from back in my first Underdog Au, Shoeshine and Tennessee have always been really good friends. they had a bromance going on and maybe even a slight bit of romance. but then i doubled down on Underdog hating romance, so it fizzled out. then, a few years later i reopened Underdog up to being demiromantic asexual - he doesn't like sex, but he might fall in love if he's close enough to someone. it's what happened with Polly and in my head at least, sometimes Tux. -Tux and Polly i can go either way on. i like them being bffs and getting coffee and going shopping and doing makeup together. i also like the idea of their first sexy times with the other sex being with eachother, but i'm not fully convinced about them dating. which is fine.

[fantrials-fuckshit]

Rules for Submissions

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[umbrahighpriestofgiratina]

Greenhorn Prometheus Chapter 3 - FINALE

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Here's the final installment of these mad science shenanigans. Hope you enjoy. Chapter 3: Breakaway

The next morning, in a quiet backyard, a young girl was picking flowers, singing quietly to herself. Suddenly a tall shadow loomed over her. ~Mmmmmmm.~ --------------- Within the house the backyard belonged to, a man was boarding up the windows. "If a monster is loose, the boards have to be tight," he said. He turned to his wife. "Good thing you put Sadie to bed." "But I was ironing clothes!" said the wife. "I asked you to put her to bed!" The two just kind of. Stared at each other. As people are wont to do when they make a mutual huge mistake. ------ The Mewtwo was now gently picking flowers with the girl, albeit with her psychic powers rather than her fingers. The two started picking petals off and dropping them in a well. "Now blow a kiss and say bye-bye!" said the girl. The Mewtwo pantomimed a kiss and dropped a flower stem down the well. "All gone!" said the girl. "Now what do we throw in?" The Mewtwo looked at the girl. Then at the well. Then presumably somehow in the direction of this very narrator. -------------- The wife and husband were now panicking. "She must have been in the bathroom," said the husband. "But I didn't look upstairs!" said the wife. "I thought you did!" "You didn't... look... upstairs..." The two immediately rushed up. -------------- The little girl and the Mewtwo were now at a seesaw. "Sit down!" said the girl, on one end of the seesaw. The Mewtwo pawed at the seesaw. "Sit. Down!" said the girl again. The Mewtwo plonked down onto the seesaw with tremendous force, flinging the girl upward, through an open window, and onto her bed. Her parents entered the room and gave a mutual sigh of relief. ----------------- In a small house on Kanto Route 16, a certain Mr. Dazzling was alone, in a corner, pondering. "A visitor is all I ask... A temporary companion to help me pass a few short hours in my lonely life." The door was promptly bust down by a certain Mewtwo. ~Aaagh!~ "Oh! Thank you, Mew, thank you!" He wandered over to the door to greet the Mewtwo. "What sort of Pokemon are you?" he said. "...I forget. I'm Mr. Dazzling, what's your name?" ~Mmmmmm.~ "I didn't get that." ~Mmmmmmm.~ "Forgive me, I didn't realize you were mute... But how does a nice bowl of soup sound to you?" ~Mmmmmmmmm.~ Mr. Dazzling led the Mewtwo over to a table. "I know how it feels to be cold and lonely and in need of a helping hand. Here's your soup!" He poured a ladle of hot soup straight into the Mewtwo's lap, causing her to let out a psychic yell. "...Whoops," said Mr. Dazzling, "forgot the bowl." He quickly fetches a bottle of wine, which the Mewtwo was careful to pour herself. As she was about to drink it, however, Mr. Dazzling interrupted her. "Wait! A toast... To friendship." The metal cup he was holding instantly shattered the Mewtwo's wine glass upon a forceful toast, causing the Mewtwo to stare in shock. "Whoopsie. I'll clean that up..." As he bent over however, he knocked over several candles on the table, causing them to fall right onto Mewtwo. This sent the Mewtwo into a panic, causing her to let out a psychic yell, bust another door down, and flee. "Wait!" said Mr. Dazzling. "Don't go! I was gonna make espresso!" ---------------- Alone, the Mewtwo wandered the dark streets, letting out psychic moans of discontent. Suddenly, however, she heard music. Familiar music. Sweet, sweet music. She followed it, drifted toward it, until she reached a man in baggy clothing and a hat playing a violin. She drifted idly in front of him, pawing the air, until the man yelled. "The sedative! Now!" The Mewtwo was suddenly hit by a psychically-propelled dart. Before she could react, she slumped down with a thud... landing directly on Colress. "She's out!" said the man, revealing himself to be Silver. "Oog... Believe me, I can tell," said Colress. ------- Back in the lab, the Mewtwo was fast asleep in a room. Waiting outside were Silver, Sabrina, Colress, and Agatha. "What are we going to do?" said Colress. Silver sighed.  "I've got to go in there." ~And get yourself killed?~ said Sabrina. "Don't you understand?" said Silver with a scowl. "She's afraid. If I can make her less afraid maybe we can get somewhere." He turned to the others. "No matter how much I beg and scream, don't let me out of there." ~You mean the old movie cliche that never works?~ said Sabrina, "...Yes but I mean it." said Silver. "Good luck dear," said Agatha. "Nice working with you," said Colress. Silver entered the room. Agatha locked the door. Silver approached the sleeping Mewtwo, shaking. He stopped as the Mewtwo's eyes snapped open. He bolted for the door as the Mewtwo's eyes glowed and she sat up with a psychic scream. "Let me out let me out pretty please with a Cheri Berry on top." The Mewtwo began floating over her bed, glowing eyes locked on Silver. Silver rattled the doorknob. "What the hell guys I was being sarcastic earlier of course I don't buy into that cliche now let me the fuck out." The Mewtwo floated closer. On the other side of the door Colress moved to open it only to be blocked by Agatha. Sabrina had somehow procured a bucket of popcorn. "Open the motherfucking door or I'll let this Mewtwo explode your brains too!" The Mewtwo was almost upon him. "...Damn it." The Mewtwo loomed above him, eyes like tiny purple suns. "...Wait." said Silver. "I know why you're mad. I'm sorry." The Mewtwo's eyes stopped glowing. She gave an inquisitive headtilt. "We... We didn't treat you right. And... And that's not right because... Because we're like your parents. And I'm like your dad. And I had a shitty dad and I don't want to perpetuate the cycle, you know? So... Yeah. I'm sorry. Sorry for everything." He sat down and put his head in his hands. The Mewtwo paused, eyed Silver inquisitively, before letting out a psychic purr and resting her head in Silver's lap. Silver uncovered his face and looked at her in awe. "I... I did it. I got through to her!" A strange look crossed his face. "Heh... I really did show up my old man... I created a beast that can do good!" ~Silver? Silver Altimira are you OK in there?~ said Sabrina. "It's not Altimira!" said Silver. "It's Altamura!" ------------- The night after, in a Viridian theatre, a show was about to start. Looker was in the audience, watching, waiting. Eventually a man with slicked-back hair and a red suit walked up on the stage, to much applause. "Ladies and gentlemen, nonbinary pals, tonight it is my, Mr. Contesta's, great privilege of introducing to you... A man whose family name was once both famous and infamous! I give you... Dr. Silver Altamura!" Silver walked onstage. There was no applause. "My fellow scientists!" There was a hiss. "I used to believe in stern scientific rules, much like the rest of you... But I found a way to go further beyond. Me and some associates rediscovered a particular way to reconfigure a Mew's genome." The crowd gave some hushed gasps and mutters. "Ladies and gentlemen and nonbinary pals may I present, for your intellectual and philosophical pleasure... Mewtwo TWO!" The curtains opened and the Mewtwo floated onto the stage. The crowd started panicking. "Wait, wait!" said Silver. "I've got her under control." He turned to the Mewtwo. "Walk!" The Mewtwo landed on the ground and walked forward with her feet. The crowd gasped. "Now backward!" The Mewtwo complied. "As you can see," said Silver. "She's still learning the basics. But once she does..." Colress came on stage and opened a device that projected a holographic image of the Mewtwo doing various tasks. "Her phenomenal psychic powers will allow her to do a variety of beneficial tasks." The hologram switched to the Mewtwo scanning a person's brain. "Detecting Alzheimer's and tumors..." The hologram switched to the Mewtwo levitating steel beams as people and Pokemon watched. "Helping with major construction projects..." The hologram switched to the Mewtwo evacuating a burning building. "And search and rescue! And there's doubtlessly countless mo-" It was then the Mewtwo noticed the fire in the hologram. She let out a psychic scream and threw an Aura Sphere at the hologram, which sailed onward as it crashed into the back of the theatre. Colress ducked as the crowd started screaming. "W-wait!" said Silver. "She just needs to be restabilized is a-" He was knocked down by a Psystrike as the Mewtwo roared telekinetically, hurling blasts of Psychic energy everywhere until a tranq dart hit her and caused her to slump over to the ground, unconscious. ---------- When the Mewtwo came to, she was locked in an Interpol containment unit. She could see people outside, watching warily. She did nothing. She could do nothing. ----------- Back at the lab, Silver was moping, as he is wont to do, Sabrina by his side. "I failed her... Lugia damn it I failed her." ~Maybe you shouldn't have shown her off while she was still unstable.~ "I thought she was stable! But it seems there's only one way to make her so..." ~And that would be?~ "DNA transfusion. If I can transfer the right genes to cope for the damaged Mew DNA... It'd take a dangerous amount of body fluids but it could work." ~But... If I'm reading this right that could kill you. I don't think that's necessary.~ "It's worth the risk." ~Alright, it's just...~ she sighed. "What is it?" "You know how I mentioned the Black Fog incident?" ~Yeah?~ ~The Black Fog is a notorious killer Haunter. Attacked me when I was a child. Killed some of my Pokemon. I was withdrawn and hostile for years since. Took meeting a much kinder Haunter to snap me out of it. But even since... I don't like losing people. I don't think you're that bad that I'd want to be rid of you forever.~ "I... I see. Thank you. I guess." ~Be careful OK?~ It was then that Agatha entered the room. "Silver! Your phone is buzzing!" Silver checked the phone once Agatha handed it to him. "...Oh shit. Kris is coming any minute!" ------------- At the door to the estate, Silver, Sabrina, and Colress stood as Kris walked up to them. "Kris!" said Silver. "You found us!" "Are you surprised?" said Kris, smirking. "And I see you've made some friends. I recognise Sabrina but who's the other guy?" "Colress, Pokemon power researcher, at your service!" "Charmed," said Kris. "What exactly are you guys doing here?" "Science!" said Colress. "Like we-" "Yes, science, but only mundane stuff," said Silver. "Can we take your bags?" ~On it,~ said Sabrina. The bags hovered in. Kris raised an eyebrow and followed them in. ---------------- The Mewtwo was still alone in her containment unit. Quiet. Seething. Until she heard a voice. "Humans are awful, aren't they?" The Mewtwo's head cocked, her psychic powers trying to scan for the source of the voice. "Oh don't worry about me. I'm here to help!" The containment pod started to open up. The Mewtwo looked around in confusion until the pod fully opened and she could see a strange, lanky human in skimpy clothing with long hair and glowing green eyes. "Don't mind the disguise, I needed it to get in here. Rest assured I'm not one of them. But hey you're free now!" The Mewtwo stared at the new visitor oddly. "In return for me freeing you... Get some revenge on those humans for me, okay? Benefits both me and you." The Mewtwo clenched her fists. "Good girl! Now let them have it." The Mewtwo flew up and busted through the ceiling as her visitor looked on and grinned. --------------- In Viridian City, a mob was forming. Crowds of people with torches and pitchforks and knives and cattle prods and all that had gathered in front of the town hall, yelling and chanting. Eventually Looker came out to address them. "Now hold on," said Looker. "Are you all sure this is a good idea?" Unfortunately he still had a cold. "What did he say?" said a townsperson. "I think he said this was a good idea!" said another. "Alright chums then let's do this!" said a third. They all stormed off. Looker sighed and headed after. -------------- Kris and Silver were busy unpacking her bags when Kris checked her phone. "Oh dear... Apparently there's a second Mewtwo on the loose." Silver froze. "Hold on, I'm trying to see who created the thi-" Silver grabbed the phone. "I already know, it was a Rocket remnant group." "...Really?" "Yeah! One that's really good with genetics!" Kris rolled her eyes. "Those assholes don't know when to quit." "Yeah, they sure don't," said Silver, sweating. "Have you noticed it's unusually hot in here?" "I kinda have actually," said Kris. "I think I'm gonna go on a walk." "Have fun!" said Silver. Once Kris left Silver slumped onto a chair and groaned. --------- Outside the estate, off in the woods, Kris wandered down a path, her Typhlosion at her side. Suddenly the Typhlosion's ears perked up and his back stiffened. "What is it, Jet?" she said. Suddenly a chill ran down her own spine as the Mewtwo emerged from the trees. "Jet! Flamethrower now!" Jet launched a Flamethrower in the direction of the Mewtwo. It barely phased her as she launched a Psystrike back, slamming Jet into a tree. Jet growled. "Thunderpunch!" said Kris. Jet roared and lunged at the Mewtwo with an electrified paw, only to be stopped by a barrier and sent sprawling by an Aura Sphere, unconscious. Kris quickly recalled her. "Okay, new plan... Raphael, it's on you!" She sent out a Togekiss, who chirped in shock at the sight of the Mewtwo. "Hit it into submission! Air Slash!" Raphael launched a blade of air at the Mewtwo, causing her to flinch and not move. "Again!" Raphael did it again, but this time the Mewtwo's eyes glowed and a powerful Psychic blast knocked the Togetic down to earth, unconscious. "G-Go Slice!" A Scizor was sent out, who looked at the Mewtwo, then back at Kris, then back at the Mewtwo before giving Kris a "really" look. Kris sighed. "Only one thing to do... Tactical retreat!" Kris and Slice ran. The Mewtwo zoomed after... And promptly stopped when music echoed through the air. "What..." Slice shrugged. The Mewtwo drifted in a trance toward the source of the noise. Kris and Slice followed. ------------------- At the estate, on the rooftop, Silver was playing an electric violin hooked up to some very large loudspeakers, maintained by Colress and watched by Sabrina. ~Are we sure this will work?~ said Sabrina. "It's worth a shot," said Silver, still playing. "Look!" said Colress. "She's coming back!" Indeed the Mewtwo was drifting out of the woods toward them, pawing the air and mewling psychically. "Yes, that's a girl... Come back, come back..." The Mewtwo floated over to Silver, looking at him with big wide eyes. "Yes... Relax..." The Mewtwo rested her head in her lap and purred. "We've done i-" He looked over the balcony to see Kris looking up at him in utter bewilderment. "...Oh." -------------- Back in the lab, the Mewtwo was strapped to a table. Colress and Sabrina were making preparations while Kris and Silver were arguing. "You made this thing?!" said Kris. "I wanted to use this old science for good! I didn't know it'd turn out like... Like this!" "You should have!" "I know!" "And now what are you doing?" "Using my body to do a DNA transfer." "When it could kill you both?" "Yes." "Fuck... Silver, what am I going to do with you?" ~I wonder the same thing,~ said Sabrina. "It's... It's the only way I can save her," said Silver. "All... Alright," said Kris. "Just... take care." "I will," said Silver. "Everything's ready!" said Colress. Silver sighed and strapped himself into a table next to the Mewtwo, a device connecting both their heads. Colress flipped a switch and electricity started crackling. Silver drifted into unconsciousness. "Okay, we'll need exactly fifteen minutes," said Colress. "No more, no less." The trio waited. "Two minutes." More waiting. "30 secon-" It was then the angry mob burst in the room, yelling and smashing everything they could. "Wait! No!" said Kris. ~All of you shut up we still need time!~ said Sabrina. Too late. They had unplugged Silver. They were getting ready to carry him off. ~Put that human down!~ said a feminine voice. The crowd turned. The Mewtwo rose from her table. ~I said, put that human down.~ The mob did. The Mewtwo floated to her feet, looking down at the crowd. Looker pushed his way through the others. "What is going on here?" said Looker. ~I am Mewtwo Two. I seek a more befitting name but that is what you can call me for now.~ "I see that," said Looker. Agatha peeked in the lab to look on. ~As long as I can remember, humans have hated me,~ said Mewtwo Two. ~They looked at my face and body and ran away in horror. In my loneliness I decided that if I could not inspire love, which was my dearest hope, I would instead cause fear.~ She looked at the unconscious Silver affectionately. ~And yet I live because this poor half-crazed genius has given me life. He alone held an image of me as something beautiful. And then when it would have been easy enough to stay out of danger he used his own body as a sacrifice to give me more stable DNA and a more stable mind.~ "Well then!" said Looker. "It seems like you won't be a problem for these folks. Good to know you're a friendly sort." Looker offered a handshake. Mewtwo Two returned it in kind. The crowd cheered. Agatha wiped away tears. "Oh Mary Louise..." ~Thank you,~ said Mewtwo Two. "You are entirely welcome," said Looker. He looked to Silver. "What about him?" It was that moment that Silver started opening his eyes. "Trashy... Man... Huh?" he opened his eyes fully. "...Did... Did we do it?" ~Yes,~ said Sabrina. ~We did.~ Silver staggered to his feet, having to be supported by Colress, and looked up at Mewtwo Two. "How are you doing?" Mewtwo Two smiled. ~Very well. Thanks dad.~ Silver smiled back. *** Epilogue Kris gazed over the bow of the cruise ship she was on, her Typhlosion looking out with her over the waves. Soon Sabrina, and Colress joined her. "Glad you guys could join me for this vacation." ~Trust me we needed it after all that,~ said Sabrina. "The fun doesn't stop for me!" said Colress. "After this I'm heading to Alola! Designed a labcoat for the hot weather even. I've got a big client there too..." "Sounds like fun. I know Red and his buddy Blue started a thing in Alola." She frowned. "Too bad Silver couldn't come... He said he had something to take care of." -------------- Blaine and Mewtwo One were standing together on the beach south of Fuschia, waiting. It was then Silver and Mewtwo Two arrived and Mewtwo One's eyes widened in shock. "Uh, hey! Mewtwo One, I know you're just back from Rhyme City and Ferrum and all that but... you have a sister! Or niece. I dunno." The two Mewtwo looked at each other, touched hands, sized each other up, then locked eyes and stared at each other in complete silence. "...What are they doing?" said Silver. "Having a mental conversation!" said Blaine. "It's a common Psychic-type thing." "Er yeah, right." said Silver. "But I thought it'd be good for them to meet." "You thought right kid," said Blane. He raised an eyebrow at Silver. "Say, you said you did a DNA transfer to stabilize her. Any side effects? "Well. aside from the empathic connection," said Silver, "a weird draw to certain types of music and also... Pyrophobia." It was at that point Blaine's Rapidash popped out of one of Blaine's Pokeballs and gave a neigh of greeting at Silver. At the sight of the Rapidash's fiery mane Silver screamed and ran off. Blaine just laughed. ------------- In a dark cave - though not THE Dark Cave, something squirmed. "Me damn it! It didn't work! But I have plans, other plans... I just need to pull all the right strings... Those two Mewtwo can still be of use." ----------------------- Agatha was relaxing with a cup of tea when there was a knock at the door. She got up to open it and gasped at the person on the other side. "Mary Lou!" "Please, call me Madame Boss, we're professionals. I heard my brat grandson finally did it." "He did! And I helped." "That's my girl." Madame Boss leaned over and kissed Agatha. Agatha swooned. The End Whew! This whole shebang has been a long time in the making. I originally conceived of this story a few years ago brainstorming how I could justify the existence of the infamous "femtwo" from the 16th Pokemon movie and some way, somehow, Young Frankenstein got thrown into the mix. I knew I had to do it on Halloween, but it took a while because I needed Splice Of Life to happen first and after that I needed a good block of time to just... write this ahead of time. But I did, and now it's all out in the wild. ...Which means I get to move on to another project. It's a bit of a silly symphony with a bit of mystery to it if I do say so myself. You'll see it tomorrow.

[loveforpreserumsteve]

As We Grow: "ALN" Story (Pre-Serum Omega!Steve and Alpha!Bucky Modern Domestic AU)

Ten:

"Is Squirt coming trick-her-treating?" Sadie excitedly asked as she noticed how Oliver was wearing a fuzzy lion costume.

"Trick OR treating," Mandy corrected as she fixed Harper's Cruella de Vil costume, specifically her two toned wig.

"Well, is he?" Sadie asked while Bucky opened the blue stroller.

"He is!" Steve answered, holding the three month old on his shoulder. Oliver's little coos and oogs muffled as he slobbered over his hands. Steve rubbed his hand over Oliver's back, "I hope that's okay."

"Ya kidding?" Sadie reached up to stroke Oliver's foot. Smiling up at Steve, she said, "I love it!"

"Good," Steve smiled, smoothing his hand over her brown waves. Looking over her costume, he was stumped. It was just a large purple circle that went from her collarbones to her shins. Brows furrowed, Steve asked, "What are you supposed to be?"

Sadie held her arms out in a powerful stance and announced, "A purple polka-dot!"

Quirking a brow, Steve looked over at Mandy who shrugged before returning her attention to her stroller where she was fastening a Dalmatian Gracie. Straightening her posture, she fixed her own Dalmatian costume.

Once Bucky was finished setting up the rear-facing carriage and shook it to make sure that it was secure, Steve placed Oliver in it. Smoothing out his fuzzy Cowardly Lion costume as he strapped the three month old in. With Oliver's big steel-blue eyes staring up at him, Steve made a silly face to make him smile.

"Alright, here's the plan," pink and purple Cheshire Tibby started, releasing the lock on Lucy's stroller, "We hit up Oak Street first since they have the King Size candy bars. Then, we cross over to Shoemaker before rounding back to Maple and ending at Mom and Dad's."

"You say this like we don't already know this," Becca scoffed, taking Sadie's hand in hers. Securing her black witch's hat on her own head, she let Sadie lead the way.

Taking up the rear, Steve nuzzled as close to the Tin Man alpha as he could. Removing one hand from the stroller handle, Bucky draped his arm along Steve's shoulders. Softly, Bucky asked, "Are you warm enough?"

Steve nodded and made another silly face at Oliver, getting the baby to giggle. Fondly, Steve wrapped his arm around Bucky's waist and reminded, "We met a year ago today."

"I know," Bucky chuckled, holding Steve closer before kissing his temple. "Happy one year."

Steve shook his head, looking up at the brunet, "We didn't get together officially until January."

"But I was already in love with you by Friendsgiving," Bucky argued as they paused in front of a house.

Harper, Sadie, and Gracie raced up to the house. The woman greeted them with a large smile and placed candy into their bags. As the girls raced back to the family, Steve decided that he liked the idea of having their anniversary on his favorite holiday.

"You know what," Steve decided, smiling up at Bucky, "Happy anniversary."

Flashing him Steve's favorite grin, Bucky ducked down to press a quick kiss to his lips. When he pulled away, that dopey grin remained on Bucky's handsome face and Steve couldn't hope for, "Many years to come."

"You read my mind," Steve smiled, standing on his tiptoes to kiss him again.

Pausing at the next house, Steve noticed that Camila wasn't going up to the houses. Steve tugged on her unicorn onesie and asked the recently turned twelve year old, "Why aren't you getting candy?"

"I'm too old," Camila solemnly answered. "It'd be like you going up there."

Challenge accepted; Steve's mind decided. Determined, Steve smirked and unclipped Oliver who was talking his cute little baby gibberish. Holding the infant close, he headed up to the house while the younger girls received candy from the nice beta man.

"Trick or treat," Steve announced.

The man looked over Steve's Scarecrow costume and smiled when he saw Oliver's Cowardly Lion costume. Kindly, the man assumed, "First Halloween?"

"That easy to tell?" Steve chuckled, moving Oliver so the man could see him better.

"Oh, goodness, look at those eyes!" The older man cooed at the baby.

"Oh, I know," Steve agreed, smiling down at his son, still convinced that Oliver was the most well-behaved baby there ever was.

"Well," the man handed him a King Size Snickers bar, "Since this is their first Halloween and all."

"Thank you," Steve accepted the candy and walked with the girls back to their family. Triumphantly, he handed the chocolate to Camila and winked at her. Knowing that she wanted to get candy but had only been staying back with the adults because before Violet went to the Halloween party she had been invited to, she made a comment about how they were both too old to go trick-or-treating.

Since he was already holding Oliver, Steve continued to as the family headed for the next house. This time though, he and Oliver stayed back as all four girls ran up to ask for candy.

"Thank you," Dum Dum told Steve, happy that his daughter was now participating and acting like the child she still was.

"Of course," Steve waved off while self-deprecatingly teasing himself, "I trick-or-treated until I graduated high school."

The group laughed at that, and Becca informed, "So did Bucky!"

"Alright," Steve high-fived his alpha while Bucky playfully defended himself, "I took Tibby trick-or-treating, so it doesn't count!"

"Just accept that you were a loser," Becca teased.

"Yeah," Mandy good-naturedly joined in, "Steve's met you! So, there's no need to try and keep up the façade!"

Steve chuckled and Bucky feigned offense. Ducking his head, Steve nuzzled Oliver further while Bucky defended himself, "I got free candy for years after you guys. So. There."

Pulling his face back just in time to watch Bucky childishly stick his tongue out at his sisters. Steve couldn't help but chuckle and shake his head. Finding it endearing how, even though Bucky and his sisters were adults with children of their own, they still acted like children themselves. Never fully growing out of those sibling roles. And oddly enough, Steve found it comforting. Hoping that one day, Oliver would know that feeling. Know that love.

TAG LIST: @t3a-bag

[thevampirediariesdiary]

1.16 There Goes the Neighborhood

I’ve been going off on my own pet tangents for plenty of episodes in a row now, so how ‘bout we return to what is ostensibly the focus of the season?  Let’s spend an episode talking about Stefan and Elena.  

Turns out, that’s even difficult for them to do. “Damon hasn’t said a word to me,” Stefan tells Elena, “every time I try to talk to him, he shuts me down.”  “Do you think he’s still trying to find Katherine?” she asks.  “I don’t know,” he says, sounding reluctantly impressed by the drama of it all. “He waited 145 years only to find out that Katherine could not care less.  I mean, that’s gotta hurt, right?”  “And it couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy!” Elena says flatly.  Stefan smiles at her, endeared by the rage coming from her tiny, loving person.  “You have every reason to be upset with him,” he tells her.  “Mhmm,” Elena agrees.  “Have you thought any more? about what you’re going to do?” Stefan asks.  “About what? Isobel, my vampire birth mother, who’s related to my vampire ancestor Katherine, who screwed over your vampire brother? Nah, I haven’t thought about it at all.”  “Sorry I brought it up,” Stefan says.  “It would just be nice if we could get through one day without having to deal with any of it,” Elena complains, “no vampire mother, no brother…”  Stefan raises his eyebrows. “No vampires at all?” She softens, gives him the cutest smile in the world.

“No vampires but you!” He gazes back at her, completely smitten.

She goes on, “I just wanna get us back to normal stuff, like, school, and homework, and here’s a thought: fun.”  Stefan faux gasps. “Oh, that sounds good to me, when do we start?”  Elena giggles, and they walk off down the hall together.

Caroline and Matt are in the same hallway, trying to figure out what they’re going to do that night, which is complicated by 1) the fact that Matt’s mother has decided she wants to live in her house again, and Caroline doesn’t want to be nice to her, because “I’m sorry, it’s hard for me to show kindness to people who hate me.  I’m not that evolved.”  And 2) the fact that Matt gets distracted by Elena and Stefan kissing goodbye in the hallway.  Caroline’s solution is to pitch a double date to them: “The couple dynamics have changed, and there’s been a little awkwardness…and I think it’s important for us to get over it.”  Elena is extremely reluctant, but Stefan pipes up that it sounds like a good idea, it sounds like…fun.  Elena agrees. Stefan truly is the most likable when he’s encouraging people to live life well, to be unafraid and joyful in all their everyday moments. Since that’s the theme of this episode, I unequivocally enjoy him.

I won’t be paying much attention to the tomb vampires’ unrest subplot, because I generally found the tomb vampires very blah as a big-bad.  But I will say that Harper scares himself by accidentally opening a voicemail on Anna’s phone, and then cheerfully asks if it was her boyfriend, as if he genuinely couldn’t be happier for her.  i.e., Harper continues to be too good, too pure.

Pearl and Anna pay Damon a visit, and remind us that they have no living person residing in the house and that therefore anyone can get in.  Pearl is very happy to know that Damon has infiltrated the council, and wants to know everything he knows, and to stop the circulation of vervaine amongst townspeople. “What exactly are you trying to achieve?” Damon asks, finally.  “Mystic falls is our home, Damon,” Pearl tells him. “They took that from us, our land, our home…it’s time we rebuild.”  “What, are you crazy?” Damon says. “That was 1864, wake up woman, the world has moved on!” Pearl continues calmly, “As a reward for your help I’m willing to give you what you want most.”  “I want nothing,” Damon shoots back.  “Katherine,” Pearl says.  He’s taken aback

But of course, recovers quickly.

He points out that Pearl has been in the tomb, and can have no way of knowing where Katherine is.  Pearl insists they were friends long enough that she knows how to find her.  Damon isn’t swayed: “I no longer have any desire to see Katherine ever again, and there’s no way in hell I’m going to play the role of your little minion.”  But, as it turns out, Pearl wasn’t looking for a negotiation.  She’s 400 years older than Damon, and he will do what she tells him, or she’ll rip him limb from limb.  To prove the point, she sticks her thumbs in his eyeballs. It’s gross.

Stefan picks up Elena at her house for their date, and brings flowers, by which she is delighted.  “I figured it’s a date, why not do it right,” he says.

She tells him it’s not too late to cancel, that maybe they were never meant to get to the normal part of dating after all, but Stefan says that worry is exactly why they ought to go.  “We’re gonna go out, have some fun, try to remember that we don’t have to be so serious.”  For Elena “I carry everyone else’s hurt in my heart” Gilbert and Stefan “Brooding is my cardio” Salvatore, this is great advice.

Damon turns back up at the bar, orders his usual. Kelley Donavan ogles him.  “You’re new around here.”  “On the contrary,” he answers, “I am very old.” As much as Kelley, to use Caroline’s phrase, “oogs me out”, what becomes very obvious in this scene is that she and Damon are alike in certain ways.  When Damon asks where she’s been, she answers “Around, about”, and he echoes “Been there.”  She says she thinks the manager blew off her interview, because last time she was in town she slept with her boyfriend, and when Damon says that’s not very nice, she simply says “It happens”.  “Yes, it does,” he agrees.  Damon and Alaric have in common that they’re both spurned and abandoned – but Damon and Kelley have in common their coping mechanisms.  And what appears slightly comical and even a little sexy on Damon, reveals itself as selfish and hurtful, and a bit pathetic on Kelley.  And he’s had a century and a half longer than her to learn that lesson, and still hasn’t.

Damon and his new friend are joined by Jenna, who begs off a drink, claiming that she’s “all responsible now”.  “Take a night off,” Kelley tells her, “it’s good for the soul!”  “It’s great for the soul,” Damon puts in.  Jenna sits down, accepts a shot; “This is not gonna end well.”  “Can’t wait,” Damon says.  The kids’ double date is at a booth just across the way, and they rapidly notice that three out of four of their legal guardians (spurious, in the case of Damon) are getting trashed at the bar.  Damon salutes them with his empty glass.  But actually, it’s not quite as unwholesome as it first appears – Jenna, at least, is trying to get through to Damon: “Don’t be grumpy, it can’t be that bad.”  “You’d be surprised,” he says, depressively. “The primary reason for my existence has abandoned me, and after today’s events, the remains of the shaky ground I walk on are about to go kaboom.”  He bobs his eyebrows at Kelley, and suggests, “Let’s get hammered.” “Let’s,” she agrees.

“At least they’re having fun,” Caroline says, a bit bitterly since she’s being subjected to her current boyfriend talking about his ex-girlfriend and her ex-boyfriend blatantly flirting with her boyfriend’s mom.  “They’re drunk,” Elena corrects.

It can be both... More reminiscing takes place, which Caroline initially participates in and then which becomes another Matt-and-Elena story.  Caroline excuses herself, asks Elena to come with. This is when the legal guardians finally realize their charges are under the same roof as they are.  “Quick, hide, we’re not here,” Jenna tells Kelley.  “Why, where did we go?”  “Children, under our care, five o’clock. This is not role modelish.”

Meanwhile, Jeremy has been all over the vampire chatrooms, asking for details about killing and turning, and asking people “are you a believer”.  It’s painful. Anna turns up looking to hang out; he recovers from his shock and sets up a videogame.  He tells her he’s working on another vampire paper – and despite initially encouraging him to take his ancestor’s journal seriously, she now claims she made it all up.  Jeremy doesn’t buy it.

Stefan and Matt have been left alone to play pool together.  “Is there anything you’re not good at?” Matt asks wryly.  “Double dating?” Stefan answers. “This is all kinda new to me.  I usually…keep to myself, I don’t always fit in.” “That’s because you’re that guy,” Matt tells him, probably taking this out of the same cryptic phrasebook from which Tyler got ‘we people’.  “What guy?” Stefan asks.  “The guy who seems like he has everything, so the people that don’t kinda run the other way,” Matt says.  Stefan seems honestly taken aback.  “Is that what I seem like?”  “Pretty much,” Matt answers.  “Huh,” says Stefan, “what a dick!”  “Yeah,” says Matt, laughing.

Stefan has made a friend, and I am honestly so, so proud of him.  I just wish Lexi was still alive so they could all be friends together.

The girls, on the other hand, are struggling. “The point of this was to show him how much you liked Stefan, not hopscotch down memory lane,” Caroline tells Elena accusingly.  And when Elena comes out of the bathroom, she runs into a tomb vamp.  But Elena’s picking up on how things work in this world of vamp hearing and sneaking around oblivious humans – she pretends to be texting, and lets Stefan read it over her shoulder: That man over there just called me Katherine.  They consider cancelling the rest of the date, but Elena insists she’s going to get her whole day of normal: “If there’s another vampire in town, he’s still gonna be here tomorrow.”  (Funny, that sentiment sounds a little familiar, I wonder where it came from?)  They all go to the Salvatore house to avoid the dubious grown-ups, where Matt sticks his foot in his mouth about dating Elena again, and Caroline stalks off. Matt apologizes to…Stefan, which is an odd choice, but Stefan is incredibly sensible and mature about it: “You guys have a history, ignoring it doesn’t do anybody any good.”  Nothing gets in the way of bromance.  Elena tries to reassure Caroline, but doesn’t have much luck.  “I’m Matt’s Elena backup, I’m your Bonnie backup,” Caroline tells her.  “You don’t get it.  Why would you? You’re everyone’s first choice.”  The boys drive up in Stefan’s sports car that Matt fixed in less than five minutes, Stefan tells Caroline and Matt to take it for a spin. Stefan asks Elena if she’s alright, they hug.

Jenna ditches Kelley and Damon at the bar when things progress to cherry-stem shenanigans, and runs into the aforementioned tomb vampire. “Hot guy plus drunk me equals very bad things,” she tells him. He tried to compel her, and she just snorts and giggles.  Thank goodness for vervaine.

Jeremy, as usual, is making terrible life decisions, like deliberately cutting his palm while making sandwiches in an attempt to out Anna as a vampire.  Because nobody on this show has any self-control, it works.  She slams him into the fridge and, at his invitation, feeds on him.  It’s weird and uncomfortable, and I’m glad Jenna interrupts.  “Jenna, hey, what’s up?” says Jeremy.  “Regret,” says Jenna.  Jenna, you have made so many fewer mistakes than almost everyone you interacted with this episode.  Give yourself a teensy break.

Matt finally gets to make a speech!  “Did I pass?  The whole double date thing was obviously a test to see how I’d do around Elena…Look, it’s my fault, I made it pretty clear early on that Elena still means something to me.  But, all that talk, that was just two old friends and some memories.  Tonight wasn’t about me and Elena, I was there because I wanted to be with you.  And I don’t know what this means or what we are, but I do know you are the only person I wanna be in this car with right now, and I don’t even know if that makes sense, because I’m not really that good at expressing myself –”  “No, no,” Caroline interrupts, “I think you’re doing just fine.” 

But what was finally shaping up to be a nice evening ends uncomfortably, when Damon brings Kelley home to a houseful of high-schoolers, one of whom is her son.  Kelley makes a hasty exit, Matt follows her, Elena volunteers to drive Caroline home. “Normal people don’t have chaperones or bodyguards or babysitters,” she tells Stefan.  And when he says he worries about her, she says, “Stefan I can’t live every minute afraid that someone’s going to come after me.  I won’t. That’s not living.”  Stefan goes back in; Damon reopens the lines of communication to say, “Don’t look at me like that.”  “Are you crazy?” Stefan asks him.  “Save the lecture,” Damon starts, but we don’t get to hear what I’m sure would have been a deeply awkward conversation, because two of the tomb vamps jump through the window and attack them.  Stefan kills one, the other flees. “I remember them from 1864, they were in the tomb!” Stefan exclaims. “Yeah…about that,” says Damon.

I know Stefan has a chest wound, but he really looks like he’s pearl-clutching here, and I love it.

Elena calls Stefan to let him know she got home safe, and tells him, “I had a really nice time on our date tonight.”  “Such a liar,” Stefan retorts.  “No, in a way, it was exactly what it was supposed to be.” He smiles. “I had a really nice time too.”

Anna pops into the Gilbert house to scold Jeremy for being reckless.  He says he took the risk because if it’s true that vampires are real, maybe it’s true that there is an explanation for what happened to Vicki – oh, and also, he wants Anna to turn him.

Music Moments: Erin McCarley’s “Lovesick Mistake” plays when Caroline is confessing that she feels like a backup: “I've gotta find someway/To fumble right through this new heartache, it's torn me apart/Oh lovesick mistake, turn me away”. And Parachute’s “The Mess I Made” plays during Matt and Caroline’s kiss in the car. “Should've held my ground/I could've been redeemed/For every second chance/That changed its mind on me.”

Eyebrow Watch: 

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