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idiotcurls · 1 year ago

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For Auld Long Syne, My Dear

Chapter Two: Dinner

Chapter one is here. The whole thing on AO3 is here. After Steve finally arrived to the New Year’s Party at the Byers-Hopper house, the gang is sitting at the dinner table, bantering, eating and drinking. Nancy and Robin are forcing Hopper into a speech, which he hates but reluctantly accepts. Mike and Will have some sort of issue with eachother and are making it everyones problem. When emotions boil over, Steve goes into mum mode and Eddie finds himself as a bigger brother figure to Mike. Pairing: StevexEddie but they are idiots, WillxMike but they don’t know that yet, established NancyxRobin, platonic Stobin d’uh

Tags: slow burn, found family, post vecna world, dealing with trauma, coming of age, hurt/comfort, eddie is alive obviously The kitchen is filled with laughter and conversation. Plates are empty, bellies are full. Steve is sat next to Joyce and Jonathan, his thumb in a brand new band-aid, provided by Joyce. He had gotten his glasses from the car earlier too, to avoid more mishaps like this.

During dinner, Steve politely reminded Hopper that he wasn't becoming a teacher, but a guidance councilor again, when he asked how the studying was coming along.

That concept was foreign to Hop, but Steve had no problem explaining it all over, every time they met, even though he knew Hop would keep on calling him 'Teach'. The kids were bickering, Dustin screeched about something Max had said. Steve rolls his eyes but was in all good spirits. He was happy to see them laugh. Glances between him and Eddie were exchanged during the dinner.

Eddie basically inhaled Joyce's Lasagne. When she got up to put a third load of Lasagne on his dish he almost didn't dare to decline.

„You will make the boy explode, Joyce.“ Hopper intervened. „Oh well, they're still growing.“, she deflected. „That is a grown man.“, he pointed at Eddie with his fork. „I once arrested him.“ Eddie seemed to flinch. „That was a long time ago!“ Eddie added quickly, looking between Steve and Joyce. “That's probably like... statue-barred or something.”

Eddie being so damn lovely with Joyce and Hopper made Steve's heart feel warm. He acted like a polite son in law, trying really hard to impress some girl's parents. Steve swallowed hard.

“Well, I think by now you can say, he redeemed himself, don't you think?“ Joyce reached across the table to give Eddie's hand a quick, affectionate squeeze and he froze for a second there. He just nodded. “Th-thanks, yeah.”Jonathan sighed.

„I think we all suffered 3 times worth all of our respective sins.“ Nancy gave Jonathan a serious side eye.

„Since when do you believe in the concept of sin?“, she asked.Jonathan shrugged. „Argyle's mum is italian catholic. It comes up in conversation.“ Robin made a 'uh huh?' sound, while she looked into her glass of orange juice, but didn't dig deeper into the topic.

“Speaking of, where is Argyle?”Jonathan apparently just came back from a short holiday in California, where he stayed with Argyle, his mum and his abuelita. Steve noticed he was tan. For Jonathan at least. He looked happy and healthy.

“They would kill him, if he wasn't at home for the holidays.”, Jonathan explained. “But he doesn't seem to mind that, at all. He likes being molly coddled by them.” Jonathan looked into the middle distance. Steve couldn't help but wonder, what Argyle's family dynamics were like. And why they made Jonathan weary.

Speaking of sins, Steve looked over to Eddie. He looked down on his band-aided finger and back at him. He watched him smile while listening to conversations on the table. He didn't talk too much, almost seemed shy. Steve would have never thought, that a family dinner (of sorts) was the one thing that made Eddie shut up.

Steve's eyes got stuck on Eddies lips, on his dimples, that appeared when he smiled like that. There was Eddie's sharp jaw line, in contrast to his big brown eyes, that searched everybody's faces with curiosity. Sometimes he added insightful comments. This time about Catholicism. How can one person be so smart and so bad at school at the same time?

But the school system made Steve feel less than as well. He still sometimes thought he was dumb. And in Eddie's case, maybe the teachers just didn't like him, or had preconceived notions. He wore being an outcast well. But Steve sometimes wondered, if it came to him that easy. The snarky comments, the no fucks given attitude.

It must have been lonely behind that mask in school. But it was a mask and a loneliness Steve knew too. The mask just had a different colour. Steve promised to himself, that he would never treat any of his kids like this. Once he got through the course. Once he was a guidance councilor. It was either that, or becoming a hairdresser. He chuckled to himself, imagining doing Eddie's hair in a salon.

On the other side of the table, Nancy and Robin whispered something, they seemed to hatch out some sort of scheme, he saw it in their eyes. That always rang an alarm bell in Steve's head, so he tried to take his eyes off Eddie and watch out for those two agents of chaos.

For some reason Robin brought out a more playful, joyous side in Nancy. He loved their dynamics, even thought, truth be told, sometimes they got on his nerves. But this light-hearted Nancy, he hasn't seen that version of her since before Barb died. Not with him and not with Jonathan. So he was grateful.

Mike seemed to chew El's ears off about a topic she didn't seem to be interested in. Will and Dustin talked about that 60s movie they watched before. He had a feeling Robin also talked about it before. She wanted to watch it with him, to broaden his horizon.

He saw Will for the first time this evening at the dinner table. Will didn't seem to be in a very chatty mood, so Steve decided not to pester him with too many questions. Will was stabbing his food with the fork and provided short answers, when someone talked to him. Max was in a chatty mood today, but Steve learned not to disrupt her quiet phases aswell. It was a time where she intently listened to what was going on around her. He saw her quietly smile into herself sometimes, when one of the boys said some stupid shit.

Robin and Nancy's whispering turned into a giggle and then into a chant, far away from quiet. “Speech! Speech! Speech!” They looked at Hopper, starting to bang their fists on the table. Hop rolled his eyes and mouthed a stern 'No!' Nancy seemed to have sobered up a bit, still red cheeks, but she had this determination in her eyes, that Steve loved so much about her. El watched the girls chant and bang on the table for a second, before she chimed in, ignoring Mike's monologue. The more Hopper refused, which he did, the louder everyone got. Max was quietly smiling to herself. She put her hands on the table, like she tried to feel the vibration of the bangs on her hands. “Okay, okay, okay.“, Hop finally said. He got up, taking his glass of scotch into his right hand and put his left hand gently on Joyce's shoulder. Clapping and whoo-ing ensued. Well, from almost the whole table. Eddie didn't shout as loud as the other participants, but clapped. Apparently he still had a lot of respect, or maybe some sort of god's fear of Hop, which Steve found hilarious in a way. Mr. „Fuck the rules“ in awe of a cop. Steve smiled. He wondered why Hop arrested Eddie back then and how it all went down. He had a faint idea, since he sometimes bought weed off of him, back in high school. But that is a story for a different time. „Y'people are cruel, you know that, right? Y'know I'm bad with words.” He cleared his throat. “But uh, I will try my best.“ He seemed like he didn't quite know what to do with his hands or face. Joyce looked up to him, a sparkle in her eyes. She patted Hopper's hand on her shoulder and whispered „You can do this.“ Hopper was wearing a nice shirt and Steve was 200% sure it was a gift from one of the girls. It was very colourful, so he figured El gave it to him and it mattered so much to him, he wore it anyway, like a proud dad. A proud dad. Steve had a bitter sweet feeling in his stomach. But he couldn't imagine anyone other, that deserved a proud dad as much as El and Max. „I want to thank you all for coming here. It's uh... nice to have a full house. I guess we're still making this house a home...“ He looked around the table at all the eyes fixed on him and seemed to get honestly emotional. As if he felt...touched. „I never reckoned, that I would have a wife and four children to boss me 'round.“, he looked at the kids intently. His voice broke a little, Steve was sure about it, he heard it! “And...-“ „She's not your wife yet!“, Max interrupted with a smug smile on her lips. Hopper sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with two fingers. „Yeah, well. That is a fact. A fact that I was going to get into, if you would let me finish...” „They are getting married in spring!!“ El blurted out. „That is why Robin and Nancy wanted to hear a speech.“ El was proud. Mike next to her, seemed somewhat disconnected from the ruckus on the table. Will, who was sitting next to Mike, just watched the burning candle in front of him intently. Joyce laughed. „Don't steal his thunder! Come on now, go on, now.“ Her smile was wide and genuine. Something clicked in Steve's head. He looked at Joyce's hand and saw a new ring which she didn't wear the last time he visited. Joyce seemed to notice him connecting the dots and winked at him. He raised his eyebrows in disbelieve and shot Robin a look. She winked at Steve too, she knew already, but didn't say a word to him. Wow. Steve was surprised, Robin could shut up that long. Especially in front of him. Good for her. All the times they spoke on the phone and yet. He was almost proud.

If there hasn't been the conversation he had with Joyce when he came in, one could have thought everything was alright. Just a happy, big family celebrating new year's. Steve wished it could at least be true for the evening. He had a feeling they all shared that wish.

„Who's gonna be your best man? Can I be your best man?“ Dustin piped up. Mike punched his shoulder.

„You can't be a best man, you're way to young! You have to be like, 30 to be a best man.“ „Ow, dude, that is so disrespectful.“ Dustin shot back. „I'm allowed to ask!?“„As a matter of fact-“ Hopper raised his voice to interrupt the fighting, looking between Mike and Dustin. „We are getting married in spring. And uh I... we! We wanted to inform you, that you're all invited. We want you to be there.” Dustin looked at Hopper with big eyes, waiting for an answer. „I'm sorry kid, but Jonathan is going to be my best man.“, he said, not unkind. Dustin frowned. “Damn it.“ „See, I told you!“, Mike hissed at him under his breath across the table. “I am allowed to ask!!!”, Dustin hissed back.Jonathan who was just watching the back and forth between the kids, raised his hands in defense and shook his head. „First of all, I'm not 30? And you are very welcome to help me prepare stuff.” Dustin nodded enthusiastically, ignoring Mike's sour expression. It was the first wedding he was invited to, so Dustin thought, he had every right to be excited.He could practice wedding stuff, for when Suzie and him would get married, once they were old enough. Even though he didn't really know if Mormons married differently. He only knew weddings only from TV anyway, so this was a good place to start. El searched for Steve's attention. „I'm going to be a flower girl.“, she said unable to contain her excitement. „Me and Max both. That means we will go down the isle and throw flower petals on the ground.“, she explained. „Before Joyce walks down to get married.“ She was so proud. Her cheeks turned a rosy hue.Steve nodded. „That is very nice, I love that.“, he said sincerity in his voice. He looked over at Eddie. He had his hand on his chin, leaning on the table, just listening. If he wouldn't have known better, Steve thought, he was moved. But he couldn't read his face, since Eddie hid half of it and avoided eye-contact with Steve. Maybe he felt embarrassed about earlier. „So, please remember the date. 7th of may. I want us all to be together. It's important to celebrate, even during hard times.“, Joyce added. „You will get the invitations later. Oh, and thank you Robin for helping us make them!“ „Hear, hear!“ Robin raised her glass, putting her arm around Nancy. “I'm happy I could help.“, she smiled her beautiful, broad smile. Nancy looked up to her, studying her profile, flustered. Steve knew that look, but hasn't seen it in a while. Apparently Robin had helped them craft beautiful typography and added some flowers into their design.Hopper was so concentrated to provide a speech, he couldn't be annoyed by their blatant flirting. Steve knew, it wasn't because they were both young women. It was just because it was...them. „So now that that is out of the way...“, Hopper said after he kissed Joyce's head. „Let's have a nice evening together, but let's not get over board.“, Hopper continued, looking at Nancy. Steve couldn't help but laugh. Nancy shot him a look. Neither Will nor Mike had any emotional reaction to the situation, that was appropriate. Steve was wondering what was going on behind the scenes on this one. He had a little suspicion. “To Hopper and Joyce!” Nancy raised her cup. Everyone followed her. Even so Mike, who seemed to watch Will from the corner of his eyes the whole time. The only person who didn't raise his glass to the happy occasion, was Will. Steve was surprised. „This is not right.“, he said quietly still staring at the candle. The table grew quiet all of a sudden and everybody looked at Will. Raised hands sank back down. Mike rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms.Maybe Will had been in a mood all day. Which was unusual, because that role was solely Mike's, commonly. „Honey, let's talk about this again later...“, Joyce said, reaching out to her son. „No, I don't want to talk. I'm so sick of everyone pretending everything is fine, when it's clearly not!“ Joyce couldn't speak for a second, she was taken aback. And hurt, Steve figured. She opened her mouth to say something but closed it again, afraid of saying something to make it worse. “Will....”, Jonathan started. „I can't take this talk of us all being together, when people are missing from 'together' and everyone is just, like, ignoring the truth.“ „Do you want to talk about this truth? Now?“ Hoppers voice was not unkind, but stern. „Enlighten us?“ Steve didn't think it was possible for the room to get even more silent but somehow it did. Dustin put his glass of sunny D down quietly, as if he was afraid to be noticed. “We're just playing pretend. Lucas and Erica are gone and Max-“ He stopped. His voice broke. The sound of his chair grinding back on the kitchen floor seemed to ripple through the room. „I have to go.“ He looked at the shocked faces around him and seemed to grow smaller. Will walked out of the kitchen. They could hear his steps ascending up the stairs into his room, followed by a door closing.Max lowered her head. Nobody dared to say anything. Joyce let her head sink into her hands, rubbing her forehead. “I'm sorry” she said softly to no one in particular. „He is going through a lot.“ “Puberty.”, Dustin nodded knowingly. Steve shot him a look and mouthed 'not now', shaking his head slightly. Dustin folded and shut up. Hopper laid his hand on Max's and whispered something to her. She nodded, but her expression seemed conflicted, still. Everyone missed Lucas and Erica the way Will did, but they were all faced with the same helplessness in the situation. Steve's stomach turned. It reminded him of the helplessness he felt, when Nancy was grieving Barbara. And he was a shit boyfriend back then. But also a teenager facing impossible situations. Not knowing where they are, made him lose sleep as well. He looked at Eddie. He seemed to want to add something to the conversation, but didn't dare to. He loved Lucas and had grown more fond of Erica ever since she called him a long haired freak. Everyone looked hurt, staring down at the table. Except for Mike. Mike seemed furious, like he could barely swallow his rage. Not annoyed, like he usually was. A more common sight, but fire burning furiously. Steve had a feeling, Max blamed herself partly for them leaving. Even though none of them had confirmation on how the situation took place and it surely wasn't Max's fault. He knew Max was smart. Smart beyond her years. But knowing something doesn't immediately mean, you know how to deal with your emotions. He knew that for sure.Jonathan cleared is throat and put down his bottle of beer. „I'm going to talk to him.“, he uttered under his breath and got up to follow his little brother upstairs. Mike watched Jonathan go after Will and something in him was about to snap. He shook his head. You could see the white on his knuckles, he was balling his fists so hard on the table. El looked at his fist and back up to him. But before she could say anything, Mike finally snapped. „This is so stupid.“, he spit out. „He should be happy he has all of this!“, he waved across the room. “Mike! Stop it!”, Nancy snapped at him. Mike shot his sister an angry look across the table, before the second time a chair grinned the kitchen floor. “Don't act like you know whats going on at home!” He left the room, put on his shoes and slammed the front door behind him, without grabbing a coat on the way out. El didn't follow him. She looked the other way and grabbed Max's hand. Max seemed relieved. Everyone else was looking at the table, perplexed on how fast a general mood can switch.Nancy shook her head and furrowed her brows. “Just ...let him calm down.”, she said, defeated and waved her hand. Robin put an arm around her. Just being there, a silent support. “They are always angry, lately.”, Max said quietly. El nodded, knowingly. “They are.”, she said with a lowered tone. “Something is changing.“, she added. Steve couldn't make out if Hopper was extremely angry or extremely sad. He did work a lot on his anger lately, he knew that from Joyce. So maybe it was somehow both.

„Sometimes people are angry when things change.“, Joyce offered them softly. The candles were flickering on the table and the TV had since started broadcasting the New Year's eve celebrations on times square. 1988. Almost a new era. “Let's just clean up a bit. We'll give you guys some time.” Robin said towards Joyce and Hopper, as she got up. Nancy seemed to snap out of a trance and got up too. Steve knew, Hop wanted the best for his new family. Steve respected that. But it also must be a lot of work and “new territory” so to say. “I'll go out to check on the fire.”, Hopper said, getting off the table.Joyce got up too, to frantically put plates together. “Come on let's all help. Dustin! Grab a tea towel. I wash, you dry.”, Steve announced. Dustin groaned. “Do I have to?” “Yes. You do.” Steve said with a stern voice and gestured towards him. In reality Dustin was probably relieved. He didn't seem to know what to do with his hands, or the Situation as a whole, if we were perfectly honest. “Go be with Hopper. We got this”, Nancy said softly, touching Joyce's arm. She sighed and laughed thinly. “Thank you. I'm sorry about this.” “Don't be.” Nancy was serious. Steve saw Joyce grab a packet of cigarettes out of one of the kitchen drawers, before she grabbed a coat and left into the night to talk to Jim. El pushed Max's wheelchair out of the kitchen, towards her room. El nodded to Nancy before they left. Nancy nodded back and touched El's shoulder affectionately before they left. It wasn't close to midnight yet, but still a good time to have a little festive fight, Steve figured. Nancy and Robin were clearing off the table, bringing used plates and cutlery to Steve and Dustin. Eddie had gotten up from the table and stood in the room awkwardly, not knowing what his role in this was exactly. He looked towards Steve, helplessly. Crisis-mode Steve was pretty good at diffusing situations and just reacting to problems. So he did. Steve turned on the water and plugged the drain, before looking over his shoulder at Eddie, nodding towards the door, raising his eyebrows. He seemed to have forgotten that Eddie doesn't really have a code to follow in “family situations” like that.“I think I, uh... I want to go smoke a cigarette?”, Eddie asked

“Yes. Yes you want to do that.” Steve answered and nodded towards the door again. Someone should check on Mike. “Right. Got it.” Eddie snapped his fingers and walked out the kitchen towards the front door, grabbing the ear warmers and his coat, following to where ever Mike Wheeler turned to hide himself. Steve sighed, already feeling bad for being bossy. But he knew Mike looked up to Eddie. Mike grew his hair out, despite his father threatening, that he would somehow end up in prison with a haircut like that or worse, unemployed. The kid was a sucker for Eddie. Even today, he wore his Hellfire shirt, hanging on every word Eddie uttered, all evening. When he wasn't sulky or angry. If he didn't know it any better, he thought Mike had a crush on Eddie. Nancy for one, didn't quite get the infatuation her brother had, but decided, there were worse role models to pick. At least Eddie was someone who tried to make high school a tolerable place for kids like them. He basically ran around high school adopting kids. Which was cute. She remembered wanting to look out for Jonathan, when they were in school. And he had proven himself to Nancy Wheeler since. She put a stack of used plates next to Steve and sighed, watching him scrub away on the dirty plates, brows furrowed. He loved to stress-clean. He used to stress-clean a lot, when they were dating. Back then, she found it endearing. Now it's just comedy relieve. Also, Robin was a slob and she already got used to that. But it was Steve's way of helping and dealing with complicated situations. “You know he had a hard time, since Robin and me got together.”, Nancy's big dark eyes seemed still seemed a bit clouded. Steve listened to her, keeping his eyes on the warm water and bubbles. “He is so fucking angry all the time, we don't know what to do.”, she said, sighing again. “I don't know what to do and he is not talking about it, like, at all.” Dustin shook his head and scoffed. “We have been talking, aaall the time! But nobody can fucking tell me what's wrong.” Dustin sounded defeated drying another plate, Steve put into his hands. „Maybe, they just need a little bit more time. To figure things out.“ Robin's voice was quiet, and soft like velvet, her eyes rested on Steve. Then she leaned over to Dustin and gave him a little nudge. “Don't worry too much about it, Dusty-Bun.” Dusty-Bun groaned loudly.“Yes! But we know Will is gay. We don't care! The party does not care!”, Dustin was obviously annoyed by the whole Situation. “Eddie had this one gay character in DnD and we all decided we loved her!” he almost screamed. “It is just FINE. So what else could it possibly be?” Robin decided to ignore him. She remembered Sapphire the Sapphic all to well. When Eddie told her about Sapphire, she knew, that motherfucker wasn't totally straight. How else would he know the word sapphic and why else would he tell that to her. They had a silent agreement since. But Robin was happy he seemed to try to teach the kids something.Robin had seen Eddie with girls around Hawkins High. But she had a suspicion. The same suspicion she held with Steve. Not all that easy to read, but the moment Eddie appeared in their lives, she could smell something was off with Steve too. Since they knew each other, she had never seen Steve look at a girl the way he looked at Eddie. Steve never looked at her that way, when he thought he was in love with her too. “Is he angry about you and Robin?”, Steve asked Nancy and gave Dustin yet another wet plate to shush him, lovingly. “He seemed to take it fine. When we told him. Together. ” Nancy said. “But then, all of a sudden he decided to be a huge dick. To everyone.” “More than before?” Steve couldn't hide his undertone. Which was fine in that situation, he figured.“Uh, Yes. A lot more.”, Dustin said, swinging his towel. “I would have told you, if you'd pick up your phone more often. Instead of, uh, I don't know, going on hot dates with lots of girls or whatever.” Robin poured herself a cup of mulled wine from the stove and laughed out loud, leaning on the counter.“How are those hot dates going, Harrington?” Steve dropped a plate back into the foamy water, to look at her, eyebrows raised. “Okay, ouch. I don't like either of you two very much, right now. I'm actually studying and working. Trying to become my own man, you know?” Steve shrugged. “I'm trying to become a better man.” He nodded to himself. He wasn't quite sure if he believed it, or what it meant, exactly. His glasses fogged up from the hot water, so he took them off and placed them on his head. “Jeez, that shouldn't distract you from being a good older male role model for me, Steve.” Dustin threw the tea towel over his shoulder, like an old lady, perfectly mimicing the way Steve did it. Steve didn't say anything to that. He just looked at Dustin and shook his head.„What do you think about it, Buckley? I mean, about Mike and Will.”, Steve finally asked, going on to investigate his suspicion. She sighed deeply, taking a sip of the hot wine, contemplating.„I think they are teenagers. We weren't any better, were we? Figuring stuff out. Fighting, being mad. There IS a lot of change happening right now. We're still trying to cope too. And their brains aren't really fully developed yet. You should know that, Mr. Councilor? The prefrontal cortex and everything? Do you have yours?”Steve scoffed and nodded. “Yeah, haven't taken that class yet. Next semester. Too busy being a rolemodle.”, he looked at Dustin theatrically, who sighed.The warm water in the sink felt good on his hands. In the beginning he tried not to get his band-aid wet, but aborted the mission half way through. Scrubbing plates gave him something productive to do. From the kitchen window, he saw Joyce and Hopper standing by the fire. Hop was shaking his head while Joyce was talking and blowing blue smoke into the cold winter air. „What are we figuring out though?“ Dustin put a salad bowl on top of the pile of clean plates. „Stuff. Teenager Stuff.“, Steve said. „I want to be included. I can't trust you to figure the case out by yourself. You need me. You know, to connect the dots.“ “I don't know man. I am still not sleeping well either. At least sometimes. So I guess that?” Dustin nodded. He seemed to understand that. “I talk to Suzie a lot when I can't sleep.”, his voice went a little bit more quiet. “Some teenagers have to figure stuff out, other teenagers don't have to.” Steve pondered, thinking of Mike and Will. „Also, you can't put a half dry bowl to the dry dishes! Jesus!“ Steve took the tea towel from Dustin's shoulder and put it on his own. Robin smiled kindly. “That is actually true. You know you can still figure things out even though you're not a teenager anymore, right Steve?” Steve and Robin locked eyes. Nancy looked between them, confused about the tension in the room. Outside the house, Eddie stomped through the crisp snow, silently hating himself for jumping on whatever Steve tells him to. He could imagine a thousand things that were better than running after an angry teenager on a night he looked forward to for weeks. Could he say no to Steve though? Not exactly. Would he do anything for that rag-tag family type situation going on in there? Yeah, probably. He figured it was safe to feel that way. They did that for each other all the time, he knew. Eddie did actually know a thing or two about being a teenager and being an angry one, so.

Steve knew that. That's why he sent him out to talk to Mike, he figured. It made him feel a little proud. Steve knew the kids longer than he had. So Eddie loved, that Steve trusted him with looking after one of the difficult ones.

They both cared about the little shrimps. He felt included. It warmed Eddie's heart, something to examine later, after the mission.And Eddie also knew very well, that he could have used someone in situations like that. Needed someone to understand him. Dads and uncles sometimes couldn't do that in a way that actually helped.

Even though, he regarded himself lucky, to even have an uncle, to go after him when he stormed out into the dark of night. Which he did frequently, back in the day. Why he never got eaten by a Demogorgon or something like that, in hindsight, he couldn't explain. The fool's luck.

„Shit.“ He rubbed his hands together, looking around to find any sign of Mike. He looked up to the sky. The moon was a very thin sickle. Only sparse clouds in the sky. Which made sense. It's to cold for much clouds if it's too cold for snow. And there wasn't any snow in a while. It made sense, because of the lack of moisture. He really liked the colour of the sky though.

The footsteps in the snow he followed, led him behind his own Van. Mike was crouched down, leaning on a dirty front tire. He angrily wiped away a tear or two in an hectic movement, when he heard Eddie's footsteps approach. Little Idiot, Eddie thought. He looked younger.

„Hey there. It's a bit cold to hang around out here.“, Eddie said.

„What else is new.“ Mike's tone was cold. He clearly didn't want any company. Yet, there Eddie was. Feeling like he was in a different dimensions, where the roles were reversed and he was the one to strike up a meaningful conversation. No biggie, though. The van's door was cold on Eddies back, as he leaned against it, while crouching down next to Mike. He reached into the pocket of his too big jacket and produced a packet of cigarettes and a zippo lighter, with an intricate design on it. There was only a zzsk, zzsk noise abd a small orange flame from the lighter, as he lit his cigarette.

He casually blew the smoke into the cold December air, like he didn't just got sent out into the cold to retrieve a teenager. He offered the package over to Mike, who raised his hand to take one out, but Eddie pulled back in a quick motion. “Gotcha. I know you smoked before. Don't start it.” Mike shook his head, defeated. He knew he earned that. “I had to throw up after.”, he confessed quietly. Eddie nodded. “I thought that much.“, he said ashing into the snow.When he saw Mike the first time, he got bullied by some jock from Mike's English class. The perfect victim for becoming a new member of Hellfire. But that was why Eddie started Hellfire for. A refuge for nerds, freaks and outcasts. And they flocked to him.Now the situation was a different one. The “shared trauma” as Robin and Steve called it, was a bit more than some assholes in a cafeteria calling you a name. It was new for him, he barely survived. Thinking that those kids have done this since they were so small, blew his mind. Made him feel small in comparison.Since then a lot changed, times changed and the kids grew up a lot. But hell, so did he.

If somebody would have traveled back in time and told him, that he would spend New Year's with Steve Harrington, Nancy Wheeler and a Cop in 3 years time, he would have spat into the time traveler's face, despite being impressed by, you know, the time traveling.Once you graduate and leave the small little bubble of high school, get thrown into real life, a lot of important things seemed silly. It almost made Eddie feel nostalgic.

Like he yearned for easier times with less at stake. Jocks against Nerds. Nothing more. Black and White. Not all of this greyish hues that bloomed in front of him, like boring but insightful flowers of early adulthood.He wondered if the little spark he had with Chrissy could have bloomed into a friendship too after high school, if... if things happened differently.

Their friendship would have have had pink and yellow petals, he thought. Eddie imagined her at college. He imagined her having fun with her friends and grow up to become a woman. He saw her smiling. She would have been so amazing. It stung.But despite all of it, Mike was still partly in this bubble, with his stupid views on the stupid world and his big anxieties, that were very real. The kids were pushing 18, learning and growing and being dumb.

„So... what was that all about?“ Eddie tried to swallow his teasing tone. „What do you mean?“, Mike spat, looking at the cigarettes tip glistening in Eddie's hand.

„Come on.“ Eddie leaned into Mike's space. „You're going to tell me, Baby-Byers storming off and then you storming off are not in perfect correlation?“ „I know you think of me as this wise old man, but I'm actually not too unfamiliar with the teenage drama.“ Mike shook his head and rolled his eyes. "It's not that." Mike said. “It's not drama... It's just... I'm just...Will got all of this attention from being 'out' and everyone is walking on eggshells around him. He gets to start over at a new place and Joyce and Hopper are madly in love with each other, it's gross.“, it bubbled out of him. Ding, Ding, Ding. Jackpot, Eddie thought, but let the kid continue.„He is living with El and Max and Jonathan is there a lot. Everyone loves him, despite... you know? But he runs around being depressed and angry and anxious. What does he have to be angry about all the time?!“ Mike was angry, too.

Eddie took the last drag off the cigarette and flipped it into the snow. They both watched the little light go out. Eddie decided to not follow up the 'despite', not yet. He also swallowed the 'what are you so angry about?' question. That was for another time.

„Are you jealous?.“, Eddie said, breathing out smoke. Mike was hesitant, breathing out through his nose, like a child that got caught. He seemed to gather his thoughts together, so Eddie let him.

„I'm alone a lot. Everyone is here. Lucas is gone. I barely get to see them.“ Mike's voices cracked.

„What about Dustin?“ „He is in a total nerd mode. Only cares about finishing school. And talking to Suzie.“ He scoffed. "He wants to marry her?" Eddie nodded. "That's young." He knew about that. Not feeling included, being alone. Except Mike gets to do it from a nice home with a family around him. He did not know a lot about his parents, despite the fact, that they don't seem to love eachother .„And El and you...“, Eddie started. „We're taking a break!“, the answer shot out of him. „It's just a matter of time. We'll be together again soon.“ 'We will be happy again', Mike wanted to say but didn't. Eddie had a feeling that this wasn't exactly true on what he had observed that evening. But the boy needed something to hang on to, so he wouldn't drown. Eddie wasn't going to be the one to take the straw away from him.

The first heart break was always the worst one. But he'll get over it, Eddie knew that too. „I can't say anything about you and El. But you guys all love each other. And you won't live in your parent's place forever. You can all venture out into the world together one day.“, Eddie mused, gesturing towards the sky.„I know, but what if...“ Mike's voice gave out completely. „What if they forget me? Just move on?“ He turned to look at Eddie with genuine sadness and fear in his eyes. A tear on the brink of rolling over his pale cheek. Oh god. Genuine emotions made Eddie feel weird. Who could blame him, when he had to swallow all of his own grievances and hurt for so long, just to survive. Those kids were emotionally so much more in tune with themselves than he was at their age. He swallowed. Don't mess this up, Munson. „Well...I for one, haven't been a part of what ever this is for a long time.“ He nodded towards the house. „But I can assure you, those people in there love you as much as you love them, man.“ Eddie chuckled. „I'm just a sort of bystander and I have felt sick all evening from all of this love and understanding going on in there.“ Mike laughed a little. „It's pretty bad.“, he admitted.„Yeah it is. And I think nobody would like, shoot you if you talked to them about it. You could even say, that you uh, miss them or something.“ Mike nodded. He knew Eddie was right. There was a small pause. Far away, there was the noise of fireworks going off, prematurely. And the cracking of the fire in the backyard. „You're not a bystander, Eddie...“, Mike said after that long pause, looking at his shoes. The tables have turned, Eddie thought. But that was the way those kids worked.„Sshh. I wasn't the one storming out of a family event just now.”, Eddie deflected. “Try to swallow your pride. You think you can do that?“ Mike nodded, bated. “And maybe you can work up some understanding for Will? Doing what he is doing, isn't that easy either.“, Eddie said with a stern voice. “And doing what you're doing is hard aswell. Be soft.” Mike nodded. He didn't quite know what Eddie meant, but he liked to feel acknowledged. He wondered what 'being soft' meant. „Okay. Good. So let's get up and go back inside. Your sister is going to skin me alive if you get sick because of me. “Mike seemed to understand those worries and reluctantly got up to walk back inside the house. For a second Eddie stopped in front of Steve's Beemer, looked at the leather seats and his bags neatly put together in the back.

When he raised his head, he took in the sight of a house filled with light and love and smelled the burnt wood from the backyard. There was some sort of commotion coming from the kitchen, a crash, like broken glass and something that could be a cat dying or Dustin. Eddie and Mike shared an amused look, before they entered the patio, to walk back inside. Eddie put one Hand on Mike's back, ushering him inside. He looked over his shoulder to check the woods, before he closed the door behind them. Old habits die hard. Maybe there was a slight chance for a nice evening, after all. People were still scattered around the house. When Eddie walked in, he immediately loved the warmth. He seemed to melt into it. Steve and Dustin were still cleaning and arguing. Apparently Dustin had dropped a plate and Steve was ushering him around to get out of the way, for Steve to sweep up the shards. In case any one of them went downstairs to get a cheeky sandwich, barefoot in the middle of the night, so nobody would get hurt. Seeing Steve, wearing his glasses on his head, a tea towel over his shoulder, bossing around a kid, Eddie felt a strange sense of longing for domesticity. Not that he ever had the nuclear family, mum-dad-kid holy trinity of the American dream at his disposal, but he liked evenings in, when him and Wayne would cook a proper meal together and watch a sitcom on TV. When he was younger, Wayne let him stay up longer and watch things that, in hindsight were not appropriate for 12 year old kids, but it was what it was. And Eddie was thankful for every minute of it. Bonding time. After they made their way back into the kitchen, Eddie noticed, Dustin also put his tea towel on his shoulder, the way Steve did. It was so absurdly cute how much Dustin looked up to Steve. One time Eddie asked him, if he'd share the secret of Steve's perfect hair, if he knew it. As a joke. Dustin got this really serious expression and told him, “I am not at liberty to discuss that with you, or anyone as a matter of fact.” and shut down the conversation. It took quite a lot out of Eddie not to laugh out loud. But that meant, he did share his sacred hair regimen with Dustin. And Dustin guarded it like it was the declaration of independence. In that moment, Eddie had a vision of him and Steve in an imaginary shared flat, where Steve was at the stove, in the middle of making dinner, on a random Tuesday night and Eddie hugged him from behind, to kiss his neck and smell his hair. He imagined them making out between chopped vegetables and bubbling sauce. Greetings from the kitchen, or whatever rich people called it. Maybe it started with something benign like Steve letting Eddie taste test his homemade tomato sauce, excuse him, Sugo, the one with the fresh basilico and authentic grana padano. But it ended with him whispering into Steve's ear, how much he loved him and his Sugo. The three course menu for Eddie was Steve, Steve, Steve. He immediately felt bad after imagining that. He had fever dreams like this all the time. He felt double bad, because Steve was obviously straight and it made his gut turn, that he imagined stuff like this about a friend. He felt like a stupid horny teenager, when there was more pressing matters to attend to.Eddie's eyes were glazed over, standing in the doorway to the kitchen. Mike, whom Eddie forgot about for a second there, didn't seem to want to disrupt whatever was happening with Eddie. He cleared his throat semi-politely and announced he was going to sit with Nancy and Robin to watch the festivities as they unfolded on TV for a bit. Nancy and Robin were graceful and didn't make a big deal of the disgruntled teenager returning back to the mothership. Bless them. Eddie's and Steve's glance met, when Steve put away the last pieces of broken china. Eddie immediately looked away, a pink shimmer on his cheeks. Steve sighed and washed his hands. “Can you go sit with Mike?”, he said towards Dustin. “I want to talk to Eddie.” “There's a lot of talking going on today, that's for sure.”, Dustin grumbled passive aggressively, walking out of the kitchen. Steve felt a bit bad about it, but he was going to make up for it later on, he figured.

When Eddie sat down at the table, he had a beautiful smile on his face, that also seemed sad or embarrassed, Steve could not tell. The cold from outside must have turned his cheeks a rosy hue. There were some candles still burning, other ones were already out.Steve swung the tea towel over his shoulder yet again and put some little bowles of chips and other snacks on the table. “So...What's up?” Eddie shook his head. “Angsty teenager stuff.” Steve laughed. Eddie patted on the empty chair beside him. Steve followed, pulling up the chair, using it backwards, leaning his arms on the back rest. “Thanks for talking to him.” He nodded towards the living room, where Mike awkwardly sat on the rest of the couch, while Dustin joined them, immediately diving into the popcorn. “Yeah, no problem. He's just, you know, Mike.”

Steve snorted. “Yeah, he is.” “And I think. They're still having a hard time.”, Eddie continued. Steve sighed and leaned his chin on his forearms. “They miss them. A lot. Hell, even I miss that snarky little Erica voice.”, Eddie continued. “Who could blame them?”, Steve said more to himself.

“I think Mike feels lonely in Hawkins.”, Eddie said quietly, tilting his head towards the living room. Steve didn't say anything for a bit. The kitchen felt weirdly quiet after all that noise before. “Do you feel lonely in Hawkins?” Eddie scoffed. “Got lots to do. M'shifts at the mechanic. People don't have money to buy new tractors and cars. I'm in the back, so nobody gets to me.” He sighed. “Uncle Wayne is giving me a hard fucking time about that government housing. Constantly wants me to help him fix shit, or change shit. He hates it there.” “Move.”, Steve said, simply. Eddies eyebrows furrowed. “What?” “Move away. Doesn't Wayne have friends from the army somewhere?” Eddie was surprised, that Steve remembered that. “Yeah, but they live somewhere secluded, in east Jesus nowhere.”Some of the vets were not happy how they were treated after serving. And they did not get the assistance they needed to get back into civilian life. They lived somewhat self organized, somewhere in the desert. Wayne sometimes got letters from them, Eddie remembered Wayne chuckling to himself, while reading. And the only time he saw him writing was when he had to do tax returns or write back to his friends.

“It's not that easy, Steve... I can't just leave Uncle Wayne and the money...” “But we did get a good amount. You could start off somewhere new.” Steve offered.Eddies eyes got darker. He felt a little burning pit in his belly. “I don't have the same opportunities you do.” What he wanted to say was, I only have Uncle Wayne left. Where was he supposed to go? With whom?“I'm just saying-” Eddie sighed loudly, interrupted Steve with it. “I don't really think, you understand my situation here, Harrington.”Steve sat up in his chair. The 'Harrington' stung. Eddie hasn't called him that since before. It was a reminder of their past roles and Steve's status from before. Even if before didn't exist anymore and Steve was sure they let that part of the past behind them. Because it wasn't relevant anymore, not to him, at least. El and Max entered the kitchen again, Max's hands full of fire crackers and small fire works. Not the big ones, because no one liked loud noises at this point. “Do you guys want to go out and cause some chaos?”Steve looked at Eddie and raised his eyebrows. Eddie nodded. “Sure, why not. Get dressed.”, Steve said to the girls. Eddie watched Steve get up to get coats and shoes ready for outside. A tiny voice in him shouted derogatory terms. He didn't quiet know why he was so defensive right then. Defensive and a little bit mean. But he got up to follow them, anyway, cursing under his breath.

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nancypullen · 1 year ago

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Quiet Morning

I was up early today and decided to whizz through a bunch of chores. I popped in my hand-me-down Air Pods (I'm the Amish granny in this gadget crazed family and tech trickles down), picked a playlist and got busy. I unloaded the dishwasher, cleaned all the stainless appliances, gave every crack and crevice in the kitchen a fragrant spray and wiped it all down, took out the garbage, swept the floors, cleaned all of the downstairs windows, then went upstairs and cleaned bathrooms. After throwing a load of tea towels and bath towels into the washer I came back down to scramble myself some eggs. With John Mellencamp singing in my ears about the good ol' days, I paused and looked through my kitchen window.

That autumn scene stopped me in my busy tracks and I paused to soak it up. It's not a magnificent ocean view, I'm not overlooking rolling farmland, it's probably not the view of anyone's dreams - but the simplicity of that white picket fence and the multi-colored leaves gave me a moment of joy. Don't get me wrong, I'm a happy gal. I thank my lucky stars every day that the people I love (family and friends) are all healthy and thriving, that I wake up in a safe, warm home with full cupboards, clean, running water, and the freedom to do as I please. But sometimes when we're caught up in what must be done, it's lovely when the universe puts a speed bump in our way. The ol' stop and smell the roses advice, or in this case stop and admire the leaves. It's been a beautiful autumn here - vibrant color, cool temperatures, and of course, our wonderful trip to Ireland. I'm seeing more frosty mornings now and the bird and squirrel population is noticeably less active. Fall is winding down and as she waltzes out leaving a trail of scarlet and gold behind her, I hope Old Man Winter is mixing up some blizzards for us. I'm ready for a winter wonderland. I'm ready for thick socks, bubbling pots of soup, cozy nights with good books, and planning spring's garden. It's also time to rest.

That probably sounds crazy to say as we're careening toward busy Thanksgiving kitchens and all of the December madness, but it is a time to rest. The world does slow down in winter. Most mandatory chores are indoors now, and less frequent - I do a lot less laundry in the winter when we're not getting sweaty and dirty. My floors stay cleaner when we're not tracking stuff in from the gardens. I even tend to make more sheet pan meals or one-pot dinners. In the summer there are festivals, fairs, and barbecues to attend. In the winter, once the holidays pass, we socialize a bit less. It's time for everyone to retreat to their caves and hibernate.

That said, I'll be cooking like a mad woman for the next couple days. Matt is home for Thanksgiving (THAT makes my heart sing!) and I like to make it memorable for him. He doesn't get a ton of homecooked meals so I like to put all of his favorites on the table. None of us need a big Thanksgiving meal, but we all want it. I'm an enabler. Butter = love. I will nurture you right into a heart attack. In my defense I have planned healthy meals right up to Turkey Day. In fact, Turkey Eve will just be salads. I'm Jekyll and Hyde in the kitchen. After the feast, it is full steam ahead with decorating, wrapping, celebrating, and then welcoming the brand spankin' new year. Let's make everything sparkle and have a ball and then settle down for a long winter's nap. I will if you will.

I'm off to play with Matt. He's going to be thrilled to accompany me on a trip to Easton to buy wrapping paper. We're walkin' on the wild side, folks. I'm sending out love and loads of gratitude today. Stay safe, stay well, get some rest. XOXO, Nancy

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valiantsword · 10 months ago

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alex lannon @blxsscd-x-fxrsakcn said, ❛ you shouldn’t be out here by yourself. ❜

before the world hit the reset button, arthur was supposed to be a king. not in the traditional sense, but in a more corporate one. his father was trying to mold him to be a soldier; someone to take over the family business of security provided by excalibur corps. every step of his life had been planned out. spend some time in the british army, get a good leadership head on his shoulders, then come home with new, brilliant, ideas on how to expand the proverbial empire.

at some point, he'd weave in a family. the cycle had to repeat itself for the next generation, didn't it?

unfortunately, the universe had other plans.

arthur was too young to do any of those things when merlin whisked him away to las vegas for a holiday. the strategist may have been one of uther's newer hires but his father had been a highly prized part of excalibur's founding infrastructure. merlin had been running around the company's halls long before arthur was even a blink on his father's radar, which was why he'd been trusted to not only take the meeting in one of MGM's backrooms but serve as a baby sitter for the future king.

over the years, he'd taught arthur how to weave a little charisma into his dissidence. better to stay alive that way. he'd always had a strong sense of righteousness and equality, something that wouldn't survive the venom that started pumping through vega's veins.

there was a full moon up overhead. night seemed to be the only time arthur could truly be himself. when the streets were quiet and the world was asleep, he liked to slip out beneath the stars to ponder everything that could have been. how was guinevere? or his best friend lancelot? were they alive? happy? healthy? sometimes, he talked out loud as if they were sitting right next to him. then, sometimes, he simply sat in silence with their memory.

the muscles between his shoulders tense at the foreign voice that breaks up his inner thoughts. or, perhaps it was familiar? hard to tell with the anxiety spike. blue eyes flicker up in an attempt to gauge how this conversation was going to play out.

" needed some fresh air, mate. no harm done. " not like anyone was going to get past the city's defenses to pluck him up from his little hiding spot. or, was it the curfew that was going to get him in trouble. was there still one? he really needed to pay more attention to details like that.

it's then the urge hits him to look up and in the direction of the nearest section of wall. arthur dreamed of making it to the other side. see what the truth was. or, maybe it was the need to not feel quite so caged anymore.

" safe, they say, " more out of frustration than anything else. " nothing to worry about anymore, they say. but, it's also still dangerous? which is it? so easy to use the fear to make everyone compliant. " lips press together. regret loosens some of the tightness between his shoulders. " sorry. not the smartest thing to say out loud. just...get a little stir crazy, you know? "

#✭ ㅤ answer ㅤ ››› ㅤ his work is never done ㅤ .#blxsscd-x-fxrsakcn #✭ ㅤ dominion ㅤ ››› ㅤ this is an extermination ㅤ .#i had to rewrite this because my concept of timing was all off #OOPS #it also got long because i was trying to get a rough idea of the verse #please let me know if this doesn't make any sense!

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downtoearthmarkets · 1 year ago

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Who doesn’t rejoice in bountiful platters of enticing appetizers on tantalizing display at the holiday parties and celebratory gatherings that abound this time of year? We collectively herald the annual return of these tasty little morsels that pack so much comforting familiarity, sensory nostalgia and joyful indulgence in every tiny, magical bite. So, this holiday season, treat your favorite finger foods of yore to a farmers market makeover that is sure to give them even more festive flavor and irresistible appeal for everyone to enjoy. 1. Christmas Deviled Eggs Deviled eggs are a classic party appetizer at any time of year because they’re not only easy to make, but they’re also easy for mingling party guests to pick up and eat in one or two bites. The key to elevating your deviled eggs this holiday season is sourcing humanely raised, pastured eggs instead of buying big brand-name, factory-farmed eggs at the supermarket. When temperature and weather conditions permit, the happy, healthy hens that lay our farmers market eggs spend their days outside in the sunshine and fresh air foraging for food and are given plenty of space to exercise, socialize and stretch their wings. You can find the bulk of the ingredients for this delightful Christmas-tree-themed deviled eggs recipe at the farmers market this weekend. The filling becomes a festive green with the addition of pickle relish and fresh herbs while the holly jolly red accents are sprinkled in via finely chopped red bell pepper (for an extra pop of flavor and color substitute preserved roasted red bell pepper from Dr. Pickle instead of fresh peppers):

1 dozen SOVA Farms eggs

1/3 cup mayonnaise

1 teaspoon Dijon mustard

3 tablespoons Dr. Pickle dill pickle relish

1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley from Sun Sprout Farm

2 tablespoons chopped fresh dill from Newgate Farms

1 drop green food coloring, optional

1/4 teaspoon kosher salt

1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper

1/4 cup diced Dr. Pickle roasted red bell pepper

2. Sausage Cheese Meatballs Many experienced party hosts hold a coveted cocktail meatball recipe close to their hearts. This one delivers extra farmers market punch and nutritional oomph with the inclusion of onion and celery, plus the meatballs are oven baked, not fried. If your meatball mixture seems a little dry, try a splash of milk to give it some added moisture before cooking.

Ingredients for 36 servings

2 pounds sweet Italian pork sausage from Stone & Thistle Farm

1 ½ cups buttermilk baking mix

16 ounces shredded cheddar cheese

½ cup diced onion from Sun Sprout Farm

½ cup finely chopped celery from Newgate Farms

½ teaspoon garlic powder

Of course, pre-spearing each sausage cheese ball with a wooden toothpick and pairing them with a honey mustard dipping sauce will take them to the next level and earn you extra credits from your party guests. Simply stir together these ingredients and serve in a dipping bowl alongside the meatballs:

1/2 cup mayonnaise

2 tablespoons SOVA Farms honey

2 tablespoons yellow mustard

1 tablespoon whole grain mustard

2 teaspoon white vinegar

3. Mini Potato Latkes with Apple Crème Fraiche During the Festival of Lights which begins this evening, potato latkes (Yiddish for pancakes) are fried in oil to symbolize Jewish perseverance and the miracle of Hanukkah, when the menorah in the ransacked Second Temple of Jerusalem stayed aflame for eight days despite there being only enough oil to keep it lit for one. During the Middle Ages, Jews in northern Italy made latkes from ricotta cheese but, after potatoes were introduced to Eastern Europe, they became a readily available, cheaper staple and replaced cheese as the key ingredient.

This recipe blends sour cream and apple sauce – which are typically served in separate bowls – into a delicious apple crème fraiche dip for your party-ready mini latkes:

Potato Latkes

3 pounds Yukon gold potatoes from Great Joy Family Farm

1 large onion from Sun Sprout Farm

1.5 teaspoons kosher salt (plus extra for sprinkling)

4 Great Joy Family Farm eggs, lightly beaten

1 cup all-purpose flour

Canola oil for frying

Apple Creme Fraiche

8 ounces crème fraiche

8 ounces homemade applesauce (use Cortland, Golden Delicious, Gala or McIntosh apples from Orchards of Concklin)

Now that you’re equipped with several bite-size crowd-pleasers, it’s time to deck the halls, light the menorah and send out the holiday party invitations! We look forward to seeing you in the farmers market this weekend.

#downtoearthmkts #farmersmarket #buylocal #eatlocal #shoplocal #localfood #farmersmarkets #eatdowntoearth #party appetizer #festive food #canape #hors d'oeuvres

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lenuwen · 1 year ago

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11/21/2023

Sitting on my bed, with Edan sleeping soundly in the crib right next to me..:) I start to really love rocking him to sleep every night. Seeing him slowly falling asleep on my arm warms my heart. How he got so adorable, I don't even know. As Thanksgiving is approaching, I have many things to be thankful for. I am thankful for:

Edan

healthy and being able to care for Edan

my loved ones are still here with me

my little family is healthy

This year holiday season is the first that I am truly celebrating, I love having Edan and start having family tradition. Though sometimes my thoughts wander, and I think of the worst. The worst to me, is to not have Edan by myself anymore, and/or I don't get to see how he grows up and what kind of person he becomes. Is this fear legit? Does every mom have this same fear? Every time I look at Edan, and I kept thinking how he is going to turn out, what temperaments will he have, and will he be good person. I know time flies and I should cherish the NOW, but it is tough. The curiosity keeps getting to me.

About Khanh, sometimes I still don't believe him. I snoop around often, and I don't find anything. But do I want to find anything?...Of course not, but I can't help but to think of the worst for the relationship between me and him. The worst is, we get a divorce and he moves on with Khue. Scary, hurt even just thinking about it.

Ugh, this should be a happy and thankful post, but it just took its turn to the worse. I should stay positive, and thankful. I am thankful. Very thankful. Thank you God for blessing me with this family of my own. I pray that everyone remains healthy and happy. 10:31pm on 11/21/2023

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simple-sheep · 1 year ago

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I can't remember who posted these, but it was a while ago on Twitter from a trusted Covid-19 source I followed for a long time before Twitter went to shit. My dad and I personally use Betadine Cold Defense (with a N95 mask, of course).

Here are all the research links:

Nitric Oxide Nasal Spray (Enovid, Sanotize, Virx)

Carrageenan Nasal Spray (Nasitrol, Salinex, Agovirax, Betadine Cold Defense)

Xylitol Nasal Spray (Xlear)

Hypromellose Nasal Spray (Taffix)

These are not nearly as effective or safe as a good fitting respirator or N95 or KN95 grade (or higher), but they personally make me feel a little better when I have to take my mask off at the dentist or doctor. I follow the instructions and give a little spray whenever I have to take my mask off or put it back on. We also use them when we get back home for the next few days, too.

I also use CPC mouthwash as soon as I get home to kill anything stuck in my mouth and gargle it super well (I use TheraBreath Healthy Gums that has CPC in it).

With that said, the world would be much safer if people would actually, you know.... mask up and consider other people. The whole issue I find with people like OP is that they think they aren't affecting others. But if they are asymptomatic and spread it, being vaccinated won't help someone unlucky enough to get it and they might spread it to someone that will die from the illness. When wearing a mask in the first place would have prevented that! But that requires thinking about other people outside of their immediate contact.

But yeah sure wearing a mask is just oh-so-difficult and those of us that have stayed inside for four whole years trying to protect ourselves and our families are the selfish ones for wanting someone to wear a mask in public!! To, I don't know, protect others!!

I can't go to the doctor or dentist without people coughing and hacking all around me, spreading gd knows what into the air and putting my high risk father and myself at risk!!

But I guess its too hard to expect people to care about their communities, because doing so would mean the discomfort of -checks notes- wearing a mask for a short amount of time in public...

Anyway, sorry for the rant in your notes, Vaspider!! I feel your frustration, dad and I have been in our house 99.99% of the time for the past four years, too, thanks to people like OP making the world unsafe.

If anyone can find any comfort in the nasal sprays and can safely take them then I'm happy--but don't forget the best protection is a mask (and if everyone were to mask again then that would be better than anything, but... well.... see OP there) and avoiding crowds right now, especially as we enter the holiday season.

there has to be some kind of safe and sane middle ground between "wearing masks is oppression" and "I'm going to morally condemn you for no longer wearing a mask 3 years in, despite your being vaccinated 6 times, and you're not currently physically ill, and the city in which you live has a vaccination rate well above 80%" like I feel as though we lost the thread at some point...

i feel as though there's a portion of people on here who are no longer seeing what's always been the most effective way to keep people safe (getting vaccinated, which is not physically visible) and are relying morally instead on publicly visible indicators of compliance as evidence that someone is in the right. and it just feels very misguided and not reflective of where the vast majority of people are at right now

#covid-19 #covid-19 resources #I don't know if they ever stopped us from getting covid or if we are lucky #but between dad's surgery my surgery and a few emergency dental trips #they have to be doing something.... right? maybe?#either way keep being great Vaspider #and maybe one day people will wake up to the reality of what they are doing to their bodies brains and immune systems as they catch Covid #over and over and over again #until then stay safe!!#also like #there are more people than OP may think who still take covid seriously #but they don't see us cause we CAN'T SAFELY LEAVE OUR HOMES!!!#i hope people wake up soon #because the plane accidents car accidents surgical mistakes all that has been getting worse because of covid's brain damage #but what do us covid-aware folks know right? its not like we listen to science- oh wait... we do #and science says put on the fucking mask AND vaccinate!!!!#not either or!!! AND!!!#huffs #its really frustrating cause my beit din and mikveh are soon #and I haven't seen my partner in 5 years cause before that I was working all the time #and now I have to try and figure out a safe way to travel for an outdoor mikveh to see my partner #cause I can't trust one indoors to be safe enough to keep my father safe #a cold nearly killed him when i was a young child it turned to pneumonia so quickly #so I don't even want to know what covid will do to him...#or to myself if how the vaccination kicked my ass is anything to go by

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chericarlisle · 3 years ago

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You asked for Carlisle Cullen requests and I am here to deliver❤️ can I ask for a fic where the reader finally confesses to Carlisle they are in love with him? Preferably fluffy with some kisses 😌, I would also prefer the reader not be a doctor or nurse if possible! Thank you so much!

𝐌𝐲 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐌𝐞 || 𝐜.𝐜

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: carlisle cullen x human reader

(𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝)

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2k

𝐚/𝐧: i hope you enjoy this! i tried to think of a way to get the two to meet, but have it still correlate! so the reader will be Alice’s friend :) thank you for requesting <3 please know that the reader is NOT a minor!!!

For the years that you had attended Forks High, you had grown close to a certain Cullen daughter, Alice. Her personality was that of a pink rose and its symbolism. She was more than one could want in a best friend, and between her amazing advice or sense of fashion, there was never a dull moment.

Unlike a majority of the students, Alice was genuine and welcoming, causing the two of you to grow close as friends. It made you feel like high school wasn’t so bad after all.

As you talked more and more with Alice, you often wondered why the rest of her family was so reserved. They rarely interacted with any one else who didn’t share the last name ‘Cullen’. Alice, though, was the exception, having branched out to you.

It seemed that being friends with Alice was something that was a package deal because on occasion, she’d bring along her boyfriend Jasper. You didn’t question their family dynamic as Alice had already explained in simplest terms who they were. It was a much better definition than what Jessica had told you and the rest at that table on the first day. Looking back, it was more petty gossip than it was useful information.

For the first summer, you didn’t see much of Alice and rather texted her much more. You’d invite her over, but it appeared that they were on a long family vacation that summer. It was then that you truly realized that you knew nothing about Alice, let alone the Cullens, aside from what you had been told at school.

There was something that constantly affected Alice’s decision making, along with her siblings, but you didn’t yet know that factor, and you wouldn’t for a while. Instead, you let your mind consume the harsh option that Alice wasn’t exactly the person you thought she was. Maybe she really was just like the rest of the Forks High students.

Fortunately, your fears were consoled that next school year.

After much consideration, Alice eventually invited you over to her house where you officially met the rest of the Cullens. Edward, Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper acted so much differently than they did at school in the way that they even acted at all. Normally, they would just go through the school day rarely interacting with any one or anything else but themselves. It made you curious as to why they weren’t like this at school. They seemed to be such lovely people so why would they be so monotonous for eight grueling hours of the day.

You were able to see where they got those characterful values from. Well, more so who.

Dr. Carlisle Cullen, their adoptive father who looked too young to be a father at all and was so perfect that he must’ve been a hallucination.

Since that moment three years ago, you’d gone over almost every other weekend to do whatever extravagant thing Alice had planned for you. She hadn’t had a real friend in so long that she wanted to make up for all the missed time.

Over the course of time, the man, who you knew only as Dr. Cullen, had caught your eye. His compassionate mannerism and old fashioned style was something that just seemed to make you fall head over heels. At the mere sight of Dr. Cullen, the heat of your cheeks would make itself known and you wanted nothing more than to slap some sense into yourself. Whenever he spoke, you shamefully latched onto every word, his voice ever so comforting. The small smile resting on his lips whenever he spoke to you added even more charm and there was no hope left for you. This man made you swoon and you were so embarrassed over the fact that he was the adoptive father of your best friend.

High school graduation arrived in no time and along with it a huge family secret. A family secret that wasn’t yours, but once again, relating to the Cullens.

The family revealed it at a dinner, which was a rare occasion, considering that you hadn’t ever really seen them eat. You came over to their house like any other visit, except this time, the inviting smell of a freshly cooked dinner greeted you at the door.

The lovely dinner and charming smiles were all just the calm before the storm. Playful conversation ceased and suddenly Carlisle was speaking on behalf of everyone at the table. In a matter of seconds, it went from ‘casual family dinner' to ‘game show questionnaire' that was borderline an interrogation with the lack of feedback you were receiving. None of the Cullens, not even Alice, would confirm or deny any inquiries that left your mouth, leaving you to your own judgment. It was almost like your speculation was crucial to ending the slew of questions.

Eventually, you drew up the conclusion that they were vampires. You said this with such lighthearted intent that you were waiting for the big joke until you scanned the tables and saw their emotionless expressions.

All that you could really remember was falling from your dinner chair with Carlisle, who was sitting right beside you, catching your fall before you became close friends with the hardwood floor.

Needless to say, it took a moment to process this information, but you still continued on with Alice and her family. They were still the same Cullens you had known since the beginning and a small sliver of their real life wasn’t going to change who they were to you.

A couple of months later, you were spending the night with Alice for the weekend. She wanted to go visit Seattle for the day and do some holiday shopping. You readily agreed, remembering that you had to get some gifts for your own family. Shopping with Alice was always an experience, but an entertaining time nonetheless.

You had gotten there Friday night as both you and Alice planned to leave the next morning. There was no point in leaving now as the stores had been closed for at least a couple of hours.

Walking in the living room, you saw Emmett and Rosalie thoroughly invested in a comedy on tv. You had invited Rosalie to go shopping, but long hours with Alice in a store was not an activity for the less patient and she knew this. Edward was apparently missing from the scene, but Jasper, who was standing afar, greeted you and said that he was out with Bella. Jasper had finally loosened up around you, and after the family’s confession, you understood why he looked so uncomfortable all the time. The willpower these people had astonished you.

Alice had disappeared after letting you in and it wasn’t until she returned with Dr. Cullen in tow, that you truly noticed she was gone. You bashfully greeted the doctor to which he returned with his signature smile that could make you melt.

“I know this is bad timing, (y/n),” Alice walked to stand beside you, “But I have to go hunt, as do my siblings. You’ll stay here with Carlisle. He doesn’t need to go with us right now and we can't leave you alone.” By the end, the petite vampire was smirking and you jokingly scowled at her little plan. She knew of your silly crush on Carlisle and would relentlessly tease you about it, as a best friend would.

Before you could even answer, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice were out of the room without so much as a peep. You shook your head at Alice’s sneakiness, forgetting for a second that a certain someone was left with you.

“How about I make you some dinner, (y/n)?”

The way he said your name was something you could never handle. It just rolled off his tongue like any other word would, but with the hint of his accent, it sounded so lovely.

“I don’t mean to be a nuisance. Dr. Cullen.”

Already flustered with the whole situation, the last thing you wanted was to bother Dr. Cullen any more than you thought you’d already done.

As if he could read minds, the blonde stopped in his tracks to face you. “Please, call me Carlisle and you are never an inconvenience, (y/n). Besides, I’ve already hunted so I’m more than happy to be here with you.”

Carlisle, being kind as usual, shouldn’t have said such words because your brain was currently going into a frenzy as his thoughtfulness. If it was possible, your heart must’ve been beating faster than what would be considered healthy for someone actively working out.

You weren’t able to find the words, but instead able to offer what you hoped was an endearing grin.

In the kitchen, Carlisle searched the desolate fridge in hopes of finding some food. The kitchen and its appliances were more of decor than they ever were useful.

After a minute or two, Carlisle closed the freezer door of the fridge, a pack of steak in his hand.

“It seems steak will have to do tonight.”

You shot him a pleased look. “You can’t go wrong with steak.” Famous last words.

While you insisted on cooking your own food, Carlisle returned the same persistence and eventually you gave in.

The two of you carried on a conversation while he cooked. Talking with him seemed so natural that for a moment, you weren’t nervous about talking to this man.

Carlisle plated the steak and brought it before you, an excited look painted on your face. He sat down beside you and eagerly waited to see how the steak turned out. At first, you felt a bit bad that he wasn’t going to eat anything, especially after all the trouble he had gone through.

“Carlisle, are you sure you’re fine? It just feels so wrong eating in front of you like this!”

He chuckled, quickly placing his hand on your own to reassure you. “I’m fine, truly. I just hope it’s edible.”

You grabbed the steak knife, jokingly rolling your eyes at his statement. Upon cutting into the steak, an unpleasant rush of cow blood came out revealing that the steak was far from even being rare.

Immediately your plate was being scooped up and brought to the kitchen counter where you joined Carlisle.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, it’s been some time since I’ve cooked anything and it seems that I haven’t caught up with modern cooking principles.” Carlisle looked a bit sheepish at the moment and you couldn’t help the giggle that slipped from your lips. You weren't sure if it was the unintentional term of endearment or his adorable attempt at cooking. Either way, Carlisle was relieved to see that you weren’t upset, but rather enjoying this moment.

You stepped up beside Carlisle at the stovetop, shoulders touching as you reached across for the seasonings. “Here, we should probably season the steak a bit and clean off the pan.”

As you continued to do your own thing and guide Carlisle in cooking, he carefully took each word of your advice.

“See, you did everything right, Carlisle. It was just the heat and time that threw off the doneness of the steak, a bit.” Your words ended with a small twinkle as you turned to face the man who’d been so intently watching. He seemed to be so entranced at the moment… and by you.

It was like time was frozen and everything moved in slow motion, something you’d only see in a cheesy movie scene, except you were living it. Suddenly, life sped up and Carlisle’s cold hand was cupping your face and bringing you in for a kiss. You were happy that this was how you’d “confess” your love to Carlisle because words weren’t exactly your strong spot given the circumstances.

You two stayed lip locked for the longest moment in time, just pure bliss. It seemed like the kiss would never end until the smell of burnt oil hit your nose. Carlisle could feel you smiling against his lips and you began to peep out a small laugh.

“I think we overcooked this one a little too much.”

a/n: i’m sorry if this is cringe-worthy, i wrote this at 12:30 am. i swear it will get better lol i just need to stop writing at ungodly hours of the night--

#carlisle cullen #carlisle x reader #carlisle cullen x reader #twilight carlisle #carlisle cullen fanfiction #twilight #twilight fanfiction

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pillow-anime-talk · 3 years ago

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i love girls month ; third day.

synopsis: Gou has already met your family who love her like their next child. But the time has come for you to meet her family and sibling... But everything will be fine, right?

# tags: scenario; current relationship; light comedy; fluff; sfw

includes: gender neutral reader ft. gou matsuoka {free!}

author’s note: hi my all cuties! i just miss ‘free!’, you know...

You and Gou became friends in junior high and later chose a high school together where you developed romantic feelings; it was in the second grade when you started studying together for the mock exams for college. You used to spend a lot of time in coffee shops, at the school library, and at your home during the holidays. Your parents liked this sweet girl very much, and when they found out that you were dating, they were more than happy – Gou was very modest, sweet, kind, always smiling and full of various ideas. Your mum willingly made her favorite cakes and cookies for her, and dad always asked how she was doing at school and whether all her relatives were healthy. They were very protective of her and really wonderful; you were surprised by their behavior!

Well, as your girlfriend has known your parents for a long time (soon it will be about five months, btw), the idea finally came to her mind to meet her own family. Colloquially speaking, your girlfriend invited you to dinner.

You were well aware that the nineteen-year-old girl only lives with her mother and older brother, because her dad passed away a long time ago. After all, you talked a lot about the Gou family, but that was not enough for the teenager – she really wanted her relatives to meet another person who was important to her heart.

Of course you agreed, but at what cost... Ever since you heard about the invitation to an official dinner with the Matusoka family, you had nausea and dizziness every morning. More than five times your mom must have calmed you down because you felt like you fainted with emotion. In addition, you could not focus on learning and the only thing that was on your mind was what outfit you should wear and what hairstyle to make to present yourself as best as possible.

Your better half, of course, assured you that it was no big deal, just a simple Japanese dinner and dessert with her sweet mother and stupid brother, but... It was huge for you! Something indescribable, unbelievable! You were really scared at the thought that no one in household would like you, ugh! You had the feeling that they would hate you and prohibit you from seeing Gou...

But as it quickly turned out, it wasn’t as terrible, bad and weird as you thought it would be; your girlfriend’s mom made your favorite dishes with Gou’s help, she was so nice to you throughout the meeting, also added that you’re really precious and intelligent and that she is glad that her daughter started dating someone and her mood improved. Rin – your partner’s brother – was also kind to you, asked a few questions and when he heard that you liked one particular sport, he became very interested; no matter if it was swimming, volleyball, jogging or long jumping. You also talked a lot about studies, his swimming results and music. Gou was delighted.

After the meal and dessert were finished, it was hard for everyone to say goodbye; Mrs. Miyako liked you so much that she wanted to spend some more time with you, preferably until supper or the next day. Rin also wanted to get to know you better, as the partner of his little sister. On the other hand, you didn’t want to impose yourself and disturb the rest of the people present at the table...

“... Mom, can Y/N stay with us for the night?”

“It’s not such a stupid idea after all, dummy!” The burgundy-haired girl’s older brother smiled. “We can play cards or order a pizza for supper!”

“Mommaaaa~?”

“Well... I don’t mind kids, it would be great if you would stay with us Y/N-chan.” The smile of the mother of two siblings made a slight blush appear on your cheeks.

“It’s really nice, thank you. I will inform my mom.” You answered with a slight chuckle. “Gou, we have to go to me for some clothes and...”

“I’ll lend you mine!” Two siblings spoke simultaneously, and you and Mrs. Matusoka laughed.

You were glad they liked you that much.

previous day ; kiyoko shimizu from haikyuu!! ♡ next day ; mitsuri kanroji from demon slayer

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rhenuvee · 4 years ago

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Just Lost (George Weasley x reader)

Request: hhii could i request a scenario with george weasley and his girlfriend talking about something really passionately and george just gets really lost in her eyes and says something like "God i want to marry you right now" extra cute and fluffy, thankyou so much stay safe and healty <3

Hey thank you so much for sending a request! I hope you are safe and healthy as well, and sorry for taking so long with this.

A/N: No, I do not know if Alicia Angelina or Katie have been to an amusement park before.

-------------------------------------------------

It was an exhausting week for you and everyone at Hogwarts. The OWLs were just around the corner, and with the teachers finishing lessons so quickly, it was hard to keep up and absorb as much information.

Currently you were in the common room getting a headache at all your textbooks and papers sprawled out on the low table, huffing as you couldn’t even know where to begin.

“Studying?” asked a girl who made out to be Angelina Johnson who made her way towards the seat next to you.

“Yeah, I don’t even know what my name is.” you joked lightly. Alicia and Katie came over as well.

“Need help studying, (y/n)?” asked Katie.

“Don’t you guys need to study too?”

“We can study together!” suggested Alicia.

You spent a few minutes of organizing your notes, the four of you finally got a start of studying for the exams. It was gonna be a long week. You were deep in thought when suddenly some familiarly loud voice entered from the portrait hole.

“GOOOOOOOD EVENING LADIES!!!” announced Fred and George with their arms comically wide open. Several other students made faces, either scoffing at making so much noise or snorting for being embarrassing. You happened to fit into the first group.

“George, Fred, shut up will you?” you said partially joking. The girls giggled, making you give them a look for laughing for their loud remark.

“Sorry darling, just wanted to make sure you know when I’m in the same room as you.” said George plopping down on the couch next to you, wrapping an arm around your waist.

“Oh believe me, I know.” you retorted, smiling when you could see your boyfriend chuckle himself in the corner of your eye.

“Ew studying? Count me out.” said Fred putting his hands up in surrender and jogging to his dorm as if to escape.

“So what were you two up to?” Katie asked George. You still focused on your paper, but letting your free hand hold his as you listened to the conversation.

“No good probably.” you replied. George perked up at your statement immediately and pinched your nose. You giggled and pulled away from his grip.

“Actually-” he said, sitting up a lot straighter. “I’ll have you girls know, I’m always on my best behaviour.”

“Right...” said Angelina shaking her head.

“Did this best behaviour have anything to do with Ron and spiders?” you asked, knowing your boyfriend too well. He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it.

“And if it does?” he quipped, curious of what direction you’d take it in.

“Then, that means my boyfriend is normal.” you said kissing his cheek lightly. George and Fred (surprisingly) did not prank Ron today, but despite that he wouldn’t waste an opportunity to play around with you.

“Then I one hundred percent pranked Ron with a toy spider.” he said proudly. You chuckled at this, the girls shaking their heads at each other also knowing George wouldn’t do any less.

“Anyway, how was your day love?” George asked.

“It was alright, but this week’s gonna be full of books and my hand is probably gonna fall off from writing.” you sighed.

“Well, I don’t wanna bother you then...” he said. Your heart throbbed, you knew you had to study but you wanted him to stay. Your boyfriend’s support- even if it meant making cheesy remarks was all you wanted. But as you were about to tell him to stay, it seems like he already had that in mind.

“... with that being said-” George reposition his whole six foot self on the couch so that his head rested in your lap. You thought it was quite silly that George’s legs had to squeeze in so much so he could fit and be comfortable.

You rolled you eyes and ran your hands through his hair, which looked even more fiery red due to the light of the fireplace.

“Goodnight then Georgie.” you said sweetly.

“‘Night darling.” he said closing his eyes.

Throughout the evening you managed to get a decent amount of studying done. You also took breaks with the girls talking about things like rethinking your life choices such as why you decided to take potions and torture yourself.

“When this year is over, I can’t wait for the summer holidays.” said Angelina with a relaxed sigh in her tone.

“We should totally hangout together sometime.” you suggested, while writing the last of the lesson’s notes.

“Where should we go?”

“Maybe the beach? It would be so fun eating ice cream and swimming.” said Alicia. The three of you nodded with words of agreement. You could only imagine the things you could do relishing in the sunlight with your friends.

“We should go to Angie’s house, she has a nice couch.” said Katie. Angelina playfully slapped her arm and rolled her eyes. You and Alicia lauged- it was a running joke that ever since Katie went to Angelina’s once, that her couch was apparently very comfortable.

“Or the amusement park? It might be a long drive but it would be so much fun.” you suggested.

“The amusement park? I’ve never been to one before.” said Alicia sheepishly. The rest of you gasped dramatically and yelled ALICIA as if to say “oh my god.” You didn’t notice that it happened to wake up your sleepy boyfriend who’s head was still on your lap.

“The amu- what now?”

“GEORGE- you scared me.” you said clutching your chest and looking down where his sleepy eyes were slowly opening.

“Sorry darling.” he said sweetly, bringing his hand up to stroke your cheek. You sighed in content, how lucky were you to be with George.

“So what’s this about an amoo-whatever park?” he asked, still resting in your lap.

If this was looked at from a distance, you, Angelina and Katie would look like maniacs, talking your arses off about amusement parks as Alicia shrunk into her seat looking both horrified but amazed.

“Hello? George are you listening to me?”

To George though, you never looked more pretty.

When you started dating, George always loved hearing you talk since you were naturally more quiet before warming up to him. He loved the reactions you made when he said something that he definitely wouldn’t say in front of his mom, and especially the smile from when he made you happy. Seeing you so passionate and excited about something felt really special to George.

You couldn’t remember what you were in the middle of talking about, whether it was about funnel cake or the roller coasters.

“God, I want to marry you right now.”

Your mouth dropped, along with the other girls’. You couldn’t help the furious blush coating your cheeks as you relished in what your boyfriend just said. It wasn’t until a few seconds later he seemed to realize what he said.

“Well what are you waiting for lover boy?” interrupted Fred who burst out from his dorm again. George groaned, blushing himself. The girls cooed at how cute you two were being.

“George...” you said covering your blush with your hand.

“Oh Merlin... I didn’t- I mean I did but...” George stumbled over his words as he got up from his sleeping position and rested his head down on your shoulder as if to scold himself for blurting that out.

“I just got so lost in your eyes.” he said blushing and smiling apologetically.

“Yeah or maybe you’re just lost in general.” you said trying to get rid of the red. The girls giggled.

“Ah, young love...- all of us better be the bridesmaids.” teased Alicia.

“You- oh quiet you guys, we’re not talking about that. ANYWAY, FUNNEL CAKE!” you announced as George naturally clung onto you by wrapping his arms around you. The girls and you continued the conversation, until George whispered something in your ear, and you’d be lying if it didn’t make your heart swell.

“After all this, I definitely plan to marry you...

“...And we can go to that a-museum-mint park thing.”

#fred and george #george weasley #george weasley x reader #george weasley imagine #george weasley fluff #george weasley fanfic #george weasley oneshot #george weasley one shot #weasley twins

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docolives · 2 years ago

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I hope that it always stays that way for you! The teen years can be tough ones to come up against, so if you have a really good, healthy relationship with them leading up to that, it'll make everyone's life a little more easy. And a lot more happy, too. I'm sure of it. I feel like once Halloween is here, the rest of the year just rushes by, from one holiday to the next. But that's not always a bad thing. I'm excited for the party this weekend, at least! Good chance to dress up and have some fun.

You know me and the girls would never with that sort of thing. There are things the girls don't need to know about me for now. But really once they are old enough they will know. But I know i can trust them too they wont hide things from me. Knowing I wont get mad at them unless it's something worth getting mad at. They know what that means too already. But it did go quick, each year goes very quick with the girls for sure. I swear last year Lily was only turning two.

#talking with harrison

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ptergwen · 4 years ago

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from one kid to another

w/c: 6.0k

warnings: mentions of drinking, lots of swearing, implied smut, and angst at times

summary: it was a mistake, a beautiful one that you didn’t make on your own

a/n: this genuinely is my favorite thing i’ve ever written :,) i say that a lot but this time i mean it, it’s really special i think and i so so so hope y’all do too <3 enjoy my loves

there’s only one thing in life that testing positive for is actually positive.

depending on the situation, obviously. yours isn’t ideal, or planned or a blessing or whatever people say. it’s a gigantic mistake that you didn’t realize you made until a minute ago.

you’d noticed something was wrong when your time of the month came and all you experienced was the symptoms. cramps, cravings, everything except your actual period. as everyone is pretty much taught to do, you ran to the closest drug store for a pregnancy test. what the hell else could it be? you messed around a few weeks ago, so there’s a possibility.

your heart felt like it was going to explode out of your chest the whole time you waited for the results. you’d thought of calling tom over for support, but there are a couple of reasons why you couldn’t do that. you realized you made the right decision when your timer for the test went off.

two red lines. you’re pregnant. you’re pregnant, and your best fucking friend is the father.

where do you go from here?

the test falls from your hand and hits the floor with a mocking clank. you slide down until your back is against the bathtub. well, you’re fucked. what an ironic word choice.

the fact that you aren’t ready in the slightest to be a parent when you’re still growing up yourself is one thing. it’s another that this could ruin the most important relationship you’ve ever had.

no, tom won’t be mad. he’s never once fought with or even raised his voice at you. in your times of need, he’s been the one to uplift you and kiss your puffy cheeks dry. no matter how he takes this, you know it won’t be out on you. he is half responsible.

but, with how you left things the last time you spoke, you’re not sure you’ll be able to get past it.

tom is alarmingly good at hiding how he truly feels. you always tease him that it’s because he’s a gemini. he’ll come back with shut up, i’m an actor and stick his nose in the air to give you the full image. in all seriousness, it does take a toll on how well he can communicate.

you’ve seen it in small ways, like when he brings you along for press days and uses unenthusiastic smiles to cover up his yawns. how he’ll be polite in a conversation with people he’d rather not speak to, then mumble about it once you’re home. he tries to put forward the “appealing” parts of himself even though he’s more than them.

tom’s biggest communication issue is that he’s been in love with you since year nine and hasn’t said a word about it. you’ve yet to figure that one out.

you two became friends while tom was starring in billy elliot. his schedule was so scattered between shows and school, so he struggled to balance both. he often had to stay late for extra help on the lessons. you’d also been there a few times. you worked better in the classroom, and he was grateful he didn’t have to be alone with the teacher.

most kids made fun of tom for his interest in theater, to his face and behind his back. not you. you thought it was just incredible that someone in your own classes worked at the west end. you’d told him on your way home one night.

he’d heard you before he saw you. “you’re tom, right?” you asked from behind him, the two of you making your way through the hall. the question sounded friendly, and it wasn’t every day kids were nice to him. tom stopped walking so you could catch up. “yes, and you are?” you gave him a small smile, books clutched to your chest. he instantly returned it.

“y/n. i heard you’re in billy elliot?” you laughed at your understatement, then corrected yourself. “that you are billy elliot, i mean. that’s so cool.” “oh, i am. thank you,” he chuckled back, a full grin taking over his face. you were both walking again, you by tom’s side. “i was hoping to come see you soon.” your voice got quieter as you told him, like you were nervous.

tom never had much luck with girls, not at this point in his life. this was an opportunity to change that. at the very least, to make a new friend. he offered something you said yes to without a beat of hesitation. “what if i got you the tickets?”

from then on, you began talking during class and not only when it ended. tom really knew how to keep the conversation going, telling story after story that left you laughing so much your teacher would shush you. you’d eventually moved to hangouts at either of your houses. harrison came into the mix at some point, the three of you forming your own group.

the difference between tom and harrison was that while harrison linked with other girls, tom was only interested in you. he’d gotten a crush on you pretty fast, if he was being honest. it might have been your shared sense of humor or the way you said his name.

thomas, when he was being cheeky. tommy, which took the place of a pet name. even regular tom. that might have been his favorite. he loved how it rolled off your tongue. he loved, and still loves, you.

you’d gone to all of tom’s performances you possibly could, the ones for school theater included. you also gave him the push to take his talents to hollywood. tom was afraid he wasn’t cut out for the big screen, that he needed more practice and experience first. you told him that if this was what he wanted to do, he had to start somewhere. why wait?

tom then landed his first movie role in the impossible at the age of fifteen. he’d received tons of praise and almost gotten nominated for an academy award, all because you convinced him to audition. you played a huge part in keeping him grounded when he was between films, and caught him up on whatever schoolwork he’d missed.

you practically zoomed to tom’s house when he was announced as the next spider-man. you’d been constantly refreshing every social media platform marvel was on since tom became a finalist for the part. that process was probably the most difficult experience he’s ever gone through. you’d know, having heard all about it from tom.

the two of you celebrated along with the rest of tom’s family that night. you kept giving him little proud of you squeezes on his shoulder or knee. tom is eternally indebted to you for being the most supportive of everything he does.

he of course sends the support right back. although he went down the movie star path, acting wasn’t for you. you’d gone off to university and studied hard as hell and aced all your shit. tom quizzed you on material whenever you needed. he wanted to help you somehow, and this was all you’d let him do.

he’d offered to pay off your loans and any other expenses necessary because he had the money to do that now. you refused every single time, not trying to become dependent on him. he admired your drive, yet hated it at the same time. everything you’d done for him, it was his turn to be the caretaker. it should’ve been.

whenever tom wrapped filming for the holidays and came back home, you were always preparing for final exams. he kept you company, content with simply being in your presence. you typed away on your keyboard and read over notes until your eyes burned. tom occasionally brought you snacks, tea, asked how you were and what he could do.

sometimes, he would have to cut your study time short. he’d say it wasn’t healthy or you were overdoing it and to come relax with him for a bit. other times, tom let you be. he didn’t want to get in the way of your already stressful assignments. those were the nights you’d fall asleep in front of your laptop. drool on your chin, hunched over at your desk.

tom made sure to tuck you in, press a light kiss to whatever part of your face wasn’t covered in spit, then let himself out. he knew where your spare key was, so he used that. you’d wake up to a “Fell asleep studying again. Rest today x” text the next morning.

when it came time for you to graduate, tom was on the first flight there. it was during another round of reshoots for chaos walking. he respectfully told doug that he’d have to work around his schedule or replace him, which couldn’t be done so late into filming. tom didn’t care that it made him seem like a prick. he was getting to you no matter what he had to do.

he’d earned plenty of stares and whispers from people as he took his seat in the crowd. he was a proper celebrity now, so he expected it. his solution was to ignore everything and chat with your family about how proud they were of you, tom the most. he saw you go from a kid attempting algebra equations to an adult at her uni graduation. you’ve really grown up together.

it was why he teared up hearing them call your name, seeing you beam as you walked across the stage. your mom grabbed his hand and nodded at him, like she could tell exactly what was going through his head.

you ran right up to tom after the ceremony was over, leaping into his arms. he let out a couple of chuckles as he spun you around. “i didn’t think you’d make it,” you’d admitted, happy yet sad tears in your eyes. tom put you down so he could pull you in for a real hug. “i’ll always be wherever you are, y/n,” he said into your ear, rocking you while you gripped at his suit collar.

flash forward to a year later, your career is finally taking off, tom’s is flourishing like it has been for years, and you’re pregnant with his child. you’re trying to recall the series of events that led you to this moment.

you were both drunk, blackout drunk because the only reason you remember sleeping together is that you woke up naked in the same bed. harrison’s bed.

he threw a housewarming party for himself, having recently moved out of tom’s and the other boys’ place. the three of them, sam, and you were all in attendance, along with a lot of others you hadn’t met.

neither you nor tom could figure out where he knew all those people from. he’d clinged to you two for the most part, more so you now with tom usually away. they could have been from work. harrison is breaking into the business himself, small roles here and there. tom actually met him in your school’s theater program, then he introduced him to you, ten years ago already.

sam entertained himself by making concoctions with the snacks harrison set out. harry got together a playlist for the party. harrison and tuwaine struck up a conversation with some of harrison’s actor friends. that left you and tom alone, out of stuff to do, and with one way to fix it.

“drink?” tom had asked you, a smirk playing on his lips. “love one,” you hummed back and set off for the kitchen. the two of you raided harrison’s liquor cabinet, grabbing his biggest bottle of wine. he’d dumbly pointed it out during the house tour he gave you before the other guests arrived.

you were about to search for glasses, but tom’s fingers threaded through yours. he gently tugged you away and nodded behind him. “let’s bring this upstairs. seems much more fun there,” he’d murmured over the music, a grin breaking across your face.

tom is big on clubbing and socializing, however, you aren’t. he comes up with ways to get you out of these events, just in case.

“we can break in harrison’s bed for him,” you said as a completely harmless joke, no intentions of that becoming your reality later on. spoiler alert: it did. “and how are we gonna do that?” tom quirked a suggestive eyebrow and breathed out a laugh as you dragged him towards the stairs. despite yourself, you’d giggled at his words.

not one drink in either of you yet, and you were stumbling and cracking up as you ran upstairs. you’d pulled tom by your still attached hands into what you remembered as harrison’s room. tom shut the door, locked it, saying under his breath that would be a “convenient investment” for him to make as well.

he took out a bottle opener that he must have put in his pocket at some point and got to work on your wine, you getting comfortable on the new mattress. the two of you passed it to the other after every sip, tom licking the taste of your lip gloss off his own lips every so often.

the equivalent of three drinks in, you were making out. both of you were just tipsy at this point, tom holding you by your hips as you lied down, your legs around his waist. god, he could’ve done this sober. he’d dreamed about kissing you, really kissing you since he was fourteen. you’d always felt like you two had something more. ah, there it was.

halfway through the bottle got you past the next two bases, and you were ready for the fourth and ultimate one by the time you shook the last few drops onto the tip of your tongue. tom groaned at the sight of that, drawing your half naked body in closer to his.

you two had forgotten to use protection in each of your drunken states. without a doubt, you both would’ve agreed to a condom had your minds not been everywhere but where they should have.

you’d woken up first the morning after, panic immediately coursing through your veins thicker than blood. a fully nude and sleeping tom had you in his embrace, arms secured around your middle, facing you. you gasped when you made the connection, loudly enough to wake tom up. his long eyelashes tickled your face, a confused pout on his lips. uh... um...

“did we fucking...” you trailed off, no words to describe whatever unfolded. “fuck?” tom finished for you. a very blunt explanation, but true nevertheless. “looks like it,” he rasped, pout changing into a smile. your face fell at the vague memories of how you spent your night.

you definitely wanted to do it. just, he’s your best friend, who’s seen you at your least sexy moments over the years. when you were sick, had breakdowns from stress, you name literally anything, tom was there. it took one bottle of cheap wine for him to forget that?

the real answer was no. tom is entirely in love with you, for a decade at that. you were beginning to discover you feel the same, only you had no idea he already loves you. you’d assumed this was meant to be merely a hookup. from the frown your face held, he’d thought you were regretting it. oh, were you both so wrong.

“um... we don’t have to talk about it,” tom told you halfheartedly, under the impression that’s what you preferred. you physically felt yourself get weaker in tom’s strong arms. he’s not interested. “yeah, that’s probably for the best. i...” you were lying. his heart shrunk, shriveled up inside his chest. she doesn’t love me like that.

“you have to go. aren’t you behind on some emails?” tom hoped you didn’t hear his voice strain from the tears pushing at his eyes. “right. almost forgot, thanks.” you’d plastered on a smile, slipping out of his grasp. a tear rolled down his cheek, so he wiped it away before you noticed. you’d already gotten out of the bed and begun picking your clothes up off the floor.

“i’ll drive you home, then.” he rolled on to his other side, you thought so he could give you privacy to change. it was that, and also because he was crying. he couldn’t hold it in. tom is naturally an emotional person. imagine finding out the love you’ve had almost half your life is unreciprocated. it’s soul crushing.

you two found harrison snoring and on top of tuwaine as you left the house. no silly remarks or shared glances for the first time in ten years. tom couldn’t muster anything up, and you felt numb.

the drive was painful. you’d said your goodbyes after tom pulled up to the curb, which held an odd weight to them. once you were out of the car, a sob wracked through him, banging on the steering wheel and not giving a shit about the loud horn going off. you collapsed face first onto your bed. hours passed by while you stared at nothing and contemplated everything.

since it happened, you haven’t spoken much. small talk over text every few days or so, both of you pretending things are normal for the other’s sake. about a month later, today, is when you found out you’re pregnant.

there’s no use wallowing in any of this. you need to figure out your next move, one that should probably involve tom. first, you want to talk to someone else. you want other opinions and a voice in your head that isn’t your own. harrison gets a text from you saying to come over now, the now in all caps. he does.

you let him in after the second knock, his eyebrows furrowing in concern. however torn you are, you must look it. shirt balled in your fists, lip quivering. he keeps his eyes on yours as he steps inside, pushing the door shut behind him. this is all becoming too real. “y/n, are you okay?”

you’re about to cry in three, two...

“haz, i fucked up,” you choke out, tears unable to stay at bay. he takes you into his arms for a hug. half your face is hidden in his shoulder, hands clutching at his back. he lets you cry it out, holding you until your heavy breathing steadies. “what’s happened?” harrison asks quietly, both of you leaving the hug.

“if- if i tell you, you can’t freak out. you can’t tell anyone else, either,” you instruct, searching his eyes for certainty that he won’t under any circumstances. “i won’t, y/n/n,” he assures you and puts an encouraging hand on your arm. your heart pounding abnormally fast, you spit it out. your first time saying it aloud. “i’m pregnant.”

harrison flinches and doesn’t even try to conceal it. he takes his hand off of you, worry swimming across his features. he blinks at you, unsure of what to say. you’d react the same way, maybe worse, so you don’t blame him. a discussion you, him, and tom had a couple years back replays in his mind.

the three of you were talking about your futures, seeing as you were close to living them. when tom asked you two where you stood on having your own families, you didn’t hesitate to answer. “nope, the factory is closed for a long ass time.” until you were in your thirties, you aimed to focus on yourself. harrison distinctly remembered because of how you phrased it.

“you’re... you... wow,” is all he replies with. you head over to the couch, more tears welling up in your eyes. do the pregnancy hormones act up this early? harrison follows you over and sits down next to you with an awkward clearing of his throat. “do you want to be pregnant?” he has to ask because he’s not sure if he should congratulate you or what.

“i don’t know,” you answer honestly, voice airy. your eyes are fixed on the wall in front of you. you haven’t given yourself time to think about it. there are so many reasons you don’t, and a single one you do. “do you, um, know who the dad is?” harrison glances over at you. “yeah.” your voice cracks. you’re both afraid for him to ask what he does next.

he shifts so he’s sitting up. “can i know?” a sniffle passing through you, you finally look at him. “it’s tom,” you say it before you lose the nerve to. harrison’s face doesn’t change this time. he isn’t surprised you and tom went there. he’d seen your friendship growing into more the older you all got. what he can’t believe is where it took you.

his best friend pregnant, and his other best friend responsible for it.

“when did you...” “at your party,” you explain, bringing your legs up so they’re criss cross on the couch. “i thought you were gone a little too long.” he says that to try cheering you up. you appreciate the effort, but it doesn’t work. you’re not in a joking mood. he’ll stick to the main issue. “so, have you told him?”

“clearly not,” you scoff, not at him but at what you two have gotten yourselves into. “y/n... i think you should tell him,” harrison sighs out, then adds, “whether you keep it or not.” “why? that would ruin everything, it already has.” you’re getting angry now, which plunges you into angry crying, voice unsteady as you go on.

“the last time i saw tom was that night, and i guess it meant more to me than it did to him because we haven’t talked about it at all. he didn’t want to.” you swipe the back of your hand across your eyes, gaze stern compared to harrison’s soft one.

he drapes an arm around your shoulders, you curling into him with another sniffle. he doesn’t say anything for a minute, then he tries again. “i know you, y/n, and i know tom. you’ll kill yourselves not talking about this.” he’s right, no shit he is. avoiding telling tom how you feel, and your pregnancy on top of that, it’s eating you up inside. it’s swallowing you whole.

“what if he doesn’t want to be a dad? or- or i’m a shit mum?” you croak out, your doubts getting the best of you. “i can barely take care of myself. what am i supposed to do with a baby?” you’re leaning forward with your hands pressing into your temples. harrison’s hand moves to your upper back. “i- i don’t think i should have them. i... we can’t,” you conclude.

“tom loves kids,” he gives you a gentle reminder. “why would his own be the exception?” another good point, yet you still have rebuttles. “right, he’s a godfather and he’s really good with them and all that, but i’m not the right person, and it’s a terrible time,” you tell him all at once, in a rush to get your words out before harrison’s sway you.

“he’s never around, i’m doing my own stuff. we’re not meant for this.” you lift your head out of your hands and sit back on the couch. harrison returns his hands to his lap. he’s frowning at you, which you see from the corner of your eye. “i’m not going to force you to have the baby. just saying you have options.”

yeah, really shitty ones.

“either way, talk to tom.” harrison says this more like a demand so you’ll take his advice into actual consideration. “at least about the hookup.” your teeth sink into your lower lip, eyes watering for the nth time already.

you have no choice because he’s right again. you’ll never move on from what happened unless you and tom address it.

the next morning, you do what harrison told you to and invite tom over. he replied saying he was on his way maybe a minute later. he’s nervous to see you because yeah, but more so looking forward since it’s been so long. you’re so nauseous you barely have room for nerves. it’s morning sickness with a hint anxiety.

it feels almost normal when he first gets here, no how’ve you been and what are you up to these days? being as close as you and tom are, you’re not capable of such a dry conversation. personally, you still feel uneasy while he recounts a golfing incident him and harry got into the other day. you know something he doesn’t.

“when i tell you we flew, we flew,” tom makes a pushing forward motion with both hands. “right into the tree. i think harry, like, dented part of his face.” he lets out a breathy laugh, you forcing out one of your own. you’d be more interested without the fact that you’re expecting a child, his child, at the back of your mind.

tom exhales, shifting to face you on your couch. it’s funny how different things were when you and harrison sat in these same spots yesterday. so much has and is about to change.

“they had to send another golf cart to come get us. it was wild.” “it sounds wild,” you hollowly agree. he can tell you’re not too invested in hearing about harry’s terrible driving skills, so he changes the subject. “anyway, harrison told me he came over last night?” your stomach drops, heat coming over your whole body.

“did... did he say why?” you murmur with a look of urgency in your eyes. tom shrugs a shoulder, and casually. there’s no way he knows. “no, was he supposed to?” his tone stays playful, which you can thankfully tell. that puts you more at ease. “no. no, never mind. i would’ve asked you to come, but...” you’re searching through your catalog of excuses.

thank god tom says something else because you can’t find a good one. “it’s alright. i actually, um, had a work call.” a small smile spreads across his face, a proud one. intrigued, you raise both eyebrows. “what’d you talk about?” tom twiddles with his fingers in his lap. “i’ve been offered an audition for this really amazing film. everything works out, it’ll be huge for me.”

you’re smiling back this time, putting a hand over one of his. “woah, that’s incredible. i’m so happy for you, tom.” you lock your fingers with his from the back of his hand. he looks down at them, humbly shaking his head. “when is it?” “a few weeks from today. it films in brazil...”

oh. you can’t tell him now. it’s not worth him missing out on a milestone in his career for a baby you’re not sure you should have. that would be so unfair of you to ask. what are you going to do, not support his dreams for the first time in a literal decade? and, you’d call yourself his best friend through it all?

you guess this also means the way you feel about tom is one sided. he’s okay with leaving you after the most intimate moment you two have ever shared. you’ll dance around it the rest of your lives. better yet, act like the night never even happened. that’s not so easy to do when you’ve got a permanent reminder of it.

the thought makes you sick to your stomach. so sick, you could...

while tom is talking more about what the audition entails, you suddenly bolt up from the couch. you run for the bathroom, a hand cupped over your mouth. his face twists up in confusion from your disappearance. tom calls, “y/n/n?” out to you, but you can’t respond because your head is in the toilet. he rushes in when he hears you retching.

he gets onto the floor with you. you’re bent over, puking your guts out, back in another place where your life changed forever less than twenty four hours ago. tom pulls your hair out of your face and into a makeshift ponytail with one hand, his other on your back. that’s all you have in you. you stay over the toilet just to be sure.

saliva drips from your mouth, making you cough roughly, the sound echoing. tom moves so he’s next to you, keeping his hand in your hair and not caring one bit about the smell because he loves you and he’s utterly concerned about what he witnessed.

“love, are you sick?” he coos, searching for your eyes. they water from the intensity of everything. “morning sickness,” you answer without thinking first. shit. shit, shit, shit. it came out of you like more vomit, word vomit. there’s no going back now.

tom lets go of your hair with his eyes still on yours. his hand on your back then leaves you, fingers trailing down your body as they go. “morning sickness,” he repeats, putting it together. “you’re pregnant?” guilt taking over your features, you sit across from tom. you’re once again leaning against the bathtub, him against the counter.

“this isn’t how i wanted you to find out,” you admit and bring your knees up to your chest. “i took a test yesterday. it was positive.” your arms wrap around your legs, you now tearing up because tom figured it out. a shaky breath passes his lips. “i haven’t gone to my doctor or anything yet, but i-“

“are you keeping the baby?” tom cuts in. not to judge you for your choice, to find out what the fuck is going on before he travels across the world. you tighten your arms around yourself, grabbing your wrist. “i haven’t decided.” he gives you an understanding nod and reaches out for you. you dodge him. he might not want to do that after what you say next.

“tom, i... there’s more,” you whimper out. “yeah. i’m... i’m listening,” tom croaks, unable to hold in his infinite amount of emotions for a multitude of reasons. he’s losing you a second time. more tears spill from your eyes as you break the news, the news that will destroy what he’s been working towards his entire life.

“the baby is yours.” his face relaxes, looking almost relieved when you confess it. “when we slept together, uh,” you’re sure it’s obvious enough that you don’t have to go over the details. he’s tearing up himself. you reluctantly continue. “if you still want to audition, i get it. we don’t have to do this.”

“fuck the audition. fuck the whole movie. all of my movies, really,” tom surprises you by blurting out. he moves in until your legs are touching. “i’m staying. even if you don’t have the baby, i have to be here.” you watch in disbelief as he wipes away what are actually happy tears. “really? i was scared you’d resent me for it, or hate me even,” you mumble to him.

“y/n, what? why would i ever do that?” tom places a hand on your cheek, touch gentle and filled with love. you part your legs so he can be closer to you. he takes the space between them, thumb brushing over your skin. “i didn’t think you’d want to deal with all of this. i thought that night was only a hookup for you.” your voice wobbles under his gaze.

“no, are you kidding? i thought that’s what you thought.” he’s smiling now, eyes twinkling along with it. what he’s been meaning to tell you since you were only kids finally comes out. “i’ve loved you as long as i’ve known you, y/n. i always imagined myself doing this with you.” his words draw a quiet laugh from you, a happy one. “i know we were drunk, but i meant it all.”

the sincerity in his voice, the warmth in his eyes, they make you cry all over again. you’re getting used to it.

“i love you, tom,” you lean into him with a sniffle and a grin, his forehead now resting on yours, using his thumb to catch one of your tears. “i really do.” “i love you forever. i always have,” tom speaks lowly, breath fanning across your face. your hands grab at his shoulders. “so, you’ll stay? you’ll do this with me?” he reminds you of what he said before, this time a promise.

“forever.”

you ended up having the baby, and tom held your hand through the entire labor. nikki was holding his other hand, your mom holding your other hand. harrison had originally been in the room as well. when you started to push, he got freaked out and had to leave. your support system remained strong either way.

despite his repulsion of your daughter’s birth, you and tom decided to make harrison her godfather. he eventually became the godfather of your other two children also, which you had a few years later.

tom took a paternity leave from the industry so he could be with you and jamie. he’d also used his time off to propose to you, something else he fantasized about since year eleven in school. it wasn’t anything too grand because the whole world was already buzzing about you two, and a big gesture felt too impersonal with everything you’d been through together.

he did it in the form of passing a note, something you often did in class to avoid being scolded by your teacher for talking. the note came with a pencil to check off either the yes or no box, “will you marry me?” written above them. anyone else would have found it so unromantic, but you giggled as you checked off yes before your lips crashed into his smiling ones.

you were married shortly after the proposal, jamie as your flower girl and all your friends and family in attendance.

to do what he loved and stay with the people he loved, tom created his own version of hollywood in london. he took it upon himself to assemble a team and make a production company. harry behind the camera, harrison and tuwaine in the films, and tom either starring alongside them or directing. they give so many young actors tons of opportunities.

you eventually went back to work, too. it was like you’d never left, coworkers offering endless hugs and going over what you missed, not that you struggled getting into it. tom was there to celebrate every promotion, every compliment from your boss, every part of your life. jamie was also there, then liam and lucy.

all three of them are running around the house right now, putting on shoes and collecting their supplies for school. you take a sip of the orange juice liam didn’t finish with a lighthearted eye roll. tom chuckles as he passes you in the kitchen, getting the kids’ lunchboxes for them to minimize the chaos.

“you have that pitch meeting today, right?” he slips his hands through the lunchbox handles and walks over to you. “mhm,” you hum, mouth full with juice. his lips press to your temple, giving your waist a one handed squeeze. “you’ll smash it. always do.” “thanks, tommy.” putting down the cup, you reach up to button whatever parts of his shirt he didn’t have time to.

“aren’t you doing a casting? for the new script they sent?” you wonder aloud and smooth down the cotton material. “me and harry. should be interesting,” he remarks, you giving him a quick kiss back on his chin. they tend to have their artistic differences. “good luck with that. you do drop off, i’ll do pick up?” you pat one of the lunchboxes around his arms.

“deal.” tom goes in for a kiss on your lips, then a chorus of dad, we have to go led by jamie rings through the house. with a knowing smile, you push at his chest. “see you later. love you.” “love you, holland,” he bites back a grin of his own. his last name, now yours, suits you perfectly.

#tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland smut #tom holland x you #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland imagine #tom holland au #peter parker #peter parker fluff #peter parker smut #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #marvel

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stephreynaart · 3 years ago

Text

Gravity Falls - “Waiting”

Pop-Pop AU

Stan sits in a hospital waiting room, thinking about his life and the people he loves.

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This is kinda old, but I realized I never posted it on tumblr. Hope ya like it!

Lots of fluff, the only ships are Soos and Melody.

AO3 LINK

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It had a square aspect ratio. Ink pen and watercolor on white heat pressed cotton paper in a bland white frame. One single blue flower in a red vase with what looks like a yellowish shadow. One shadow going left, the other going right. The lack of confidence and inexperience was obvious, the lines were unfocused and jagged, the color plainly filled the shapes and gave no other visual interest to the image.

Below the frame was a small white card that read “Painting donated by Jessica Blaise from Gravity Falls Elementary School”

Stan scanned the painting at least 20 times while sitting in that chair. The too rough and too soft at the same time chair that had similar copies populating the almost white room he sat in. The wallpaper bouncing off light pinks and blues with tiny ducklings as a makeshift wainscoting was starting to irritate the old man. It was too bright, and the consistent buzz of the fluorescent lights seemed so loud. Stan adjusted himself in his chair, switching his crossed legs to a wider spread and leaned his head against the wall.

The only other stimulus in the room were a few posters promoting proper hand washing techniques, the play area with a small table and chairs with large blocks, crayons and that weird “game” with the metal wiring and wooden beads that’s in every waiting room Stan’s ever sat in. He played with the toys to give himself something to do after he read all the magazines. The novelty wore off fast.

The television mounted on the wall was airing some cooking channel with no sound and no subtitles. Looking at food when you haven’t eaten in a few hours was practically torture, so Stan had been averting his eyes.

There were other paintings on the wall, one was less of a painting, but instead a print of a painting. He doubted that the artist got any compensation from it, if they were still alive. The other was a charcoal drawing done by a student from the community college a town away. Another square, but the entire image was black, the brightest thing on the page was an intruding infant hand coming from the left with the arm fading into the dark background. The fingers seemingly mid-twitch and grabbing at something. The lighting was dynamic and interesting. Stan swore it was a drawing of a penis the first time he glanced at it, which resulted in his brother’s laughter. Stanley smiled at the memory, it was only a few hours ago, but he relishes any time he can make Stanford laugh.

Stan’s eyes darted at the door in the far corner when it opened suddenly. He eased back into his chair when the nurse crossed the room to talk with the receptionist. He couldn’t hear the conversation very well, but could tell they were just gossiping and making jokes. Nothing that was of his interest. So he looked back to the elementary school child’s painting and analyzed it again. His eyes were dry and he was tired. He wished he could sleep, the chair wasn’t comfortable enough and when he did managed to sleep, his neck was sore when he woke up. He was only lucky Ford let him use his shoulder as a pillow for a while. He looked to his left and noted the book his brother placed in the seat. It seemed thick and in what looked like Hebrew. Stan wasn’t very surprised Ford was fluent in the language they were acquainted with as children. Their grandparents on their father’s side were the last to be fully fluent in Hebrew. It was like his brother to be curious of their heritage, but Stan only remembered a few phrases and words he learned from holidays and special event when he had to recite anything in Temple.

Stan crossed his arms and glanced at the clock on the wall and let out an exasperated sigh. It had only been 10 minutes since he last checked the time. He wanted to be at home, be in his soft warm bed and getting ready to eat pancakes at this time in the morning.

He and Ford were on the porch of The Mystery Shack when Soos rushed them off to the hospital the yesterday afternoon. What he originally thought would be a couple of hours of waiting turned into almost twelve. Apparently labour can last a long time.

Stan wished he could be a witness for Soos and Melody like he was when Dipper and Mabel were born, but Melody wanted her privacy, which Stan could respect, but Soos wanted him there…..so he and Ford waited in this bright, annoyingly pastel waiting room, twiddling his thumbs awaiting the arrival of the new member of the mystery family. He was glad he was in at least comfortable clothes, some gray sweatpants and a sweater Mabel knitted for him that read “godfather”.

He was never clear on what the title entailed, but it was mentioned a few times by Soos’ grandmother and the kids insisted that Soos was intending to ask him. He hadn’t, but he didn’t protest Stan wearing the sweater. Whatever job godfathers had, he was willing to play the part if Soos were to ask him.

Stan looked at the double doors a few feet away that lead out of the waiting room and into the halls. His brother left to find something for them to eat, but was taking his sweet time. The turkey being basted on the television was no help in aiding his growling stomach.

He distracted himself by returning his thoughts to Soos and Melody. Just down the hall they were experiencing the strange and beautiful phenomenon that was witnessing the arrival of a brand new person. Stan remembered the feeling so clearly. His entire life he’s felt the presence of human beings. It’s inherent in most people to feel when someone is in the room with you, the other soul sharing the same space as you. Imagine being in a room with a set amount of people and someone else comes in, but imagine they came in without using a doorway. Just appearing seemingly out of thin air. Suddenly another person is with you, and they’re brand new to the world, a life full of potential and power. Yes, today is indeed a happy day, but no amount of positive thinking would ease Stan’s nerves. His foot began to bounce and his hands unconsciously began to fiddle with each other. He didn’t want to think anything would go wrong with Soos’ baby, but anything can happen and life is so fragile, especially at the start of it.

He recalled his nephew’s nervousness the day Dipper and Mabel were born. His hands were shaking and he was constantly checking on his wife and asking the doctors loads of questions. He didn’t fully understand the twins’ father’s behavior until the end of that day.

Mabel’s birth was swift and easy. Her mother only needed to push one and a half times before she was here. It was as if she was eager to meet everyone waiting for her. She cried like most babies do, but Stan could’ve sworn they were tears of joy. While Mabel was greeted with, “hello, beautiful”, “hi, sweetie” and “she’s perfect”, Her brother’s introduction to world started with, “what’s wrong?”, “wait, let me hold him”, and “he’s not moving”. Dipper was rushed out of the room before his mother got a chance to look at him. Stan managed to catch a glimpse of the horrifyingly blue tint on his great nephew’s tiny face. The memory still gave him chills. He remembered how much he wanted to hold Mabel, who began to fuss and cry, obviously missing her brother. He was terrified at the prospect of another incomplete set of twins in their family. After the longest 30 minute of his life, Stan’s great-nephew returned with a bright pink face, wailing with all the power his little lungs could produce. Once the twins were reunited in their mother’s arms, they settled down almost instantly. The doctors told their parents Dipper was significantly lighter in weight than his sister, but both were very strong and healthy. Every so often Stan thinks about Dipper and how much he has impacted his life. His thoughts lead to darker places and he questions if Ford would be here if Dipper wasn’t there to find the third journal. He shook his head as a cold shiver went up his spine.

Stan did his best to distract himself from revisiting the scare that Dipper caused him 16 years ago.

16 years…..17 in August

Stan blinked. The squishy, bright faces that stayed with him that first summer had changed significantly. They stayed in contact all year round and visited every summer since they were 12. But every in-person meeting was always a shock. Dipper was developing the square jaw Stan, both his brothers and nephew shared. He started to regularly wear glasses their second summer with the Stans. Poor kid will grow up looking like Filbrick like the rest of the Pines men. He reminded Stan of Ford at that age.

And Mabel…..

Stan will never get over how much she looks like his mother. It didn’t strike him until Soos and Melody’s wedding and she put her hair in a bun. She’s calmed her hyperactivity down a bit, but not by a lot, she still brightens his day with her wit and creativity. They’ve both matured physically, but not much has changed personality wise and they still acted like big children when they’re around each other. Stan loved them very much, and wished he could see them more often. He wondered what the future held for all of them. Would they still visit town after going to college? Would they move here? Or somewhere else?

He’s had several conversations with them to see how they’re managing the prospect of separating. They’re much better at communicating than he and Ford were and they seem actually excited to have some independence. It made Stan nervous, but he was sure their close relationship wouldn’t suffer.

Wendy chose to be elsewhere for the next few years. She and her friends booked a plane ticket and plan to backpack and hitchhike around Europe and the UK. Stan hopes they stay safe and watch out for each other. Lotta weirdos in Amsterdam. She was set to leave in the coming days, Wendy wanted to wait until today arrived so she could meet Soos and Melody’s kid before going away for who knows how long.

A tap on the shoulder woke Stan from his deep thoughts. His brother arrived with some warm sub sandwiches and coffee.

“Any word yet?, he asked Stan

“Nothin’ yet”, Stan felt helpless not having any clue how Soos and Melody were doing.

Stanford took his seat next to Stanley and they both silently enjoyed their late breakfast. Since arriving they’ve witnessed families reuniting and going past the door in the far corner to meet their children, grandchildren or siblings. Stan looked at the clock again. How has it only been another 5 minutes? He sighed, leaned back and finished the rest of his sub. One hand holding the sandwich, the other went back to gripping the arm rest, then a six fingered hand went down to rest on top of it. Stan let go of the armrest and tangled his fingers between Ford’s and held onto it with a, hopefully not too tight, grip. It was like an anchor to reality, much better at easing his anxieties than any words could. Over the past 4 years, Stan and Ford’s bond grew stronger. Stan still feared one day he would wake up and find himself still in that basement surrounded by broken machinery and languages he didn’t understand. He hasn’t yet, and was enjoying the time he had left with his twin. Stan took a moment to look at his brother again, Ford made eye contact and smiled then continued to read his book. Hands still intertwined

Stans thoughts went back to Soos…

It amazed Stan how much he had grown and it still baffled him that Soos idolized him as much as he does. Before Soos, Stan had no one. His brother was….gone, the rest of the family didn’t talk to him much outside of the holidays and special occasion. There hadn’t been any sense of consistency in Stan’s life for years, decades even, until he hired the chubby little kid he barely glanced at one random Saturday. Soos always arrived to work early, sometimes with breakfast for both of them. Stan didn’t know how much he needed a reliable companion until he had it and he enjoyed the 10 years he had with that kid… or man he should say. Here he was…a few rooms away, becoming a father.

Stan used to daydream a lot about the prospect of having kids when he was younger. He’s was always good with them when he had the chance to babysit his nephew, then later Dipper and Mabel when they were toddlers. He loved having kids in his house that first summer. He loved the energy and the sense of adventure the twins brought. They gave him a sense of purpose and belonging he hadn’t felt in years. He wished he was brave enough to have his own children. Not that he was ever with anyone long enough to want to have kids with him. He supposed it was for the best that he didn’t subject a child to homelessness or an unhappy marriage. He was also terrified at the idea. His dad used to say having kids ruined his life. He wondered who his father was before his older brother was born. Did they really ruin his life? Stan often wondered if he would be like his own dad if he has children of his own. Would he change and become that annoyed parent that resenting his children?

He thought about Soos again

That was probably the closest to parenthood he ever experienced. The first time he felt like one was when Soos asked him for homework help after closing. He initially told Soos no, he wasn’t exactly smart and didn’t think he would be any help. It apparently upset the kid, so Stan sighed and gave it a try. It was fairly simple middle school math, he didn’t remember everything, but helped Soos do more than half of it. Soos thanked him and went home happy. Stan felt weirdly proud, he was glad he made a small difference and managed to teach Soos something he didn’t even know he knew.

The second time was when Soos was a teenager. His grandmother wasn’t able to teach Soos to drive, since she had forgotten how and her late husband used to do the driving, she mostly walked everywhere. Soos offered to work for free so Stan could teach him. Stan loved driving and found teaching Soos cathartic. He was a fast and eager learner, he only bumped Stan’s car once while trying to figure out parallel parking. Little did Soos know that he was getting paid for his normal work hours. Stan just put it away long enough to help buy the kid some old used truck in the junkyard for getting his license. They fixed the truck up and in only a few weeks it was ready to be on the road. Soos has taken good care of it and it’s still his ride to this day

Stan was very proud of Soos. He taught the kid some basic self defense and managed to be a decent influence in his life. Soos at least has his priorities straight.

Stan was even glad to see that Soos was willing to question him. When the portal was reaching the final countdown, he didn’t hesitate to protect the kids from him when he thought Stan was dangerous. He didn’t know, none of them did, so he didn’t blame Soos for distrusting him. He hoped he never had to betray him again. They both had crappy dads, and Stan knew how Soos saw him. Stan was never really sure if he reciprocated those feelings. It felt natural to act the part, but to put a label as important as “dad” on Stan was daunting. Soos definitely deserves better than what he was given, Stan wasn’t sure if he was it.

Stan looked up at the familiar voices running towards him from the double doors.

“Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Ford!” Mabel waved to them

The two teenagers and Wendy walked in holding a balloon and various toys. They took some seats across from the Stans and asked how everyone was doing and if the baby arrived yet.

“Not yet, hopefully soon” Ford answered

Stan relaxed and silently enjoyed his family’s company. He laid his head back and leaned slightly on Ford to rest for a minute. His eyes shut as he listened to the kids joke around and talk amongst themselves. He squeezed Ford’s hand one more time before drifting off.

He knew he should’ve tried sleeping earlier, he wasn’t out for more than 15 minutes when Soos came into the waiting room. Stan’s eyes shot open and he was on his feet faster than he did when he was being chased by angry costumers as a door to door salesman. Soos’ red eyes sagged and he seemed exhausted, but carried a proud, wide smile across his face. He sniffed and wiped his eyes.

“It’s a boy”, he squeaked, “mom and baby are okay”

Dipper and Mabel were first to start the hugs, and the room filled with cheers of congratulations and love. Stan felt light as a feather giving Soos a hug and joking about child labor.

“Can we see him?”, Mabel bounced with anticipation

“Yeah, dudes!”, Soos gestured everyone past the corner door and into the suite. “But only for a little while, Melody has to sleep”

The room was small, dimly lit and warm. The Pines crew collectively lowered their voices as Melody came into view on the bedding holding a bundle of blankets decorated with small yellow ducklings. She was leaned back on a large pillow, covered in blankets and toted a soft smile on her face. Soos stroked her hair and picked up his little son to show to the Pines’. The younger twins got a look at him first,

Mabel squealed and cooed at the tiny infant. Then Wendy, who said hi to the baby and told Soos she’d make sure to send him gifts while she was away

“What’s his name?”, Mabel asked Melody

“I named him after my dad”, Melody replied, “Jacob”. She smiled sadly at the memory of the father she lost the year before.

Soos approached the Stans, Ford smiled and complimented the couple on a having such beautiful little boy, but shot Soos a look, who silently replied with another one. Something was up.

Finally Stan got a look at baby Jacob. “Wow” Stan smiled, patting Soos’ arm. “He looks exactly like you”

Soos laughed, “really? I think he looks like Melody”, there was a short silence before Soos spoke up again.

“Do you want to hold him, Mr Pines?”

Stan looked at Soos and smiled, “heh, sure”. He held his arms out. Soos lowered his arms to pass the baby to Stan, who scrunched his face up and started to fuss. Stan took the infant and managed to hold him with one arm. He bounced and shushed little Jacob until he calmed down. “Heya kid”, He’s held babies dozens of times, but something felt different about this one. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but Stan felt an almost magnetic pull towards him. Jacob settled comfortably against Stan and continued his rest. Stan softly beamed at the tiny person in his arms.

“Hey, Stan?”

Stan lifted an eyebrow and looked at Soos, who was fidgeting with his hands and nervously smiling.

“Uh..”, he paused, taking in the sight of Stan holding his child. “You know about my dad”, Soos looked at Ford again, who shrugged and nodded. Stan studied Ford’s face, who’s eyes strayed away as he hid a small smile. Soos got his attention again.

“You uh…he wasn’t…”, Soos choked up, his voice strained a bit, “I met you when I was probably the loneliest I ever was in my entire life”. Stan pictured the little boy he hired on the spot, he didn’t remember him until Soos showed up at his door step the next day ready to work. He didn’t know how much that quick, thoughtless decision would change his life.

Soos perked up and walked across the room to a table and picked up the piece of paper sitting on it. Soos glanced at it, then at Stan and smiled, gaining some emotional strength it seemed.

“You mean a lot me”, Soos, “you were there when I really needed it, you gave me a job, taught me just about everything I know. I don’t think I ever thanked you for that”

Stan got a bit nervous, Was this him asking to be the godfather?Everyone was silent and curiously watching. Soos held his hand out and handed the paper to Stan. He adjusted his arm to properly hold Jacob in his arm and took it. Stan flipped the page and noticed it was the baby’s birth certificate. Stan eyes bounced off the page and read the various information: birthdate, weight, parents, but he froze when he read the full name. Stan’s wide eyes questioningly studied Soos’ face.

“Are you…”, Stan felt his own throat tightening, crap. Come on, not in front of everyone “really?”, he asked. Soos gave a genuine nod and sniffed.

“I uh” Soos cleared his throat, “I was wondering, since Jacob doesn’t have one…if you wanted to be…. his grandpa?

There it was

Stan felt dizzy and took a small step back before remembering who was in his hands and regained his balance. Ford came to his side and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. Stan decide not to look at his brother and chose to stare forward, then his eyes went back to Soos, who look deflated. Oh man. Stan was terrified, he didn’t want to say no and hurt Soos, but if he said yes….he wasn’t sure what made him so nervous. The entire concept sounded so alien to him, like he didn’t deserve the title. He always considered Soos, Melody and their son a part of his family. But to bare a title like “grandpa”, had to mean he had children that that children. That he was already a parent without his knowledge. It all felt so natural to want to lean into this and become part of this family like Soos wanted.

He heard something make a noise from beneath himself. Stan looked down at little Jacob, who was mid yawn. The baby’s mouth grew wide opens and inhaled, scrunching up his face and suddenly shut. Suddenly two tiny eyes opened for just a few seconds, enough time for Stan to make eye contact before Jacob shut them and got comfortable again

Everything was different now.

Stan didn’t notice how quiet the room had gotten nor the tears forming in his eyes. Stunned by beauty and overcome with pride and a sense of purpose. The pride he felt teaching Soos math, how to drive and attending his graduation all combined just looking at the perfect being in his arms. If he said yes, he would want everything that came with it. Stan lifted the birth certificate up to read the name again.

Jacob Stanley Ramirez

“Y-Yes”, he heard a shaken voice say, almost not realizing it was his own “of course”. He looked at Soos, tears in his eyes and a bright smile on his face. He still wasn’t sure if he deserved this, but Stan wanted it. He wanted it all. Why not indulge just this once? He gave the certificate to Ford and used his now free hand to pull Soos into a hug. Gently sandwiching his…..grandson in between him……and his son.

#gravity falls #gravity falls fan fiction #stanley pines #stanford pines #soos ramirez #melody #mabel pines #dipper pines #wendy corduroy #pop pop au #poppop!stan #dad!soos #dad!stan

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moralesispunk · 3 years ago

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Content

Frankie Morales x Female Reader (no name, use of Y/N or physical description) Summary: On Will’s wedding day, Frankie reflects on his perfect, little family with you.

Word Count: 1.2k

A/N: I am back from my holiday! I will be back to posting more regularly now and have started on my fisherman! Frankie fic which will begin soon while also working on the next caramel latte chapter!

Man, stop fixing your tie, it's fine!

Has anyone seen my cufflinks?

Do you have the rings?

I thought you had them?

What? I told you to lift them!

Wait... yeah they're in my pocket.

There was an organised chaos humming around the large hotel room that was suddenly feeling a lot smaller with the four men ransaking around as they prepared for the day ahead. Black tux jackets being swapped from man to man, hands reaching to straighten ties and bow-ties, the occasional hand running down a face when someone shouts out the time.

To be completely honest, none of them, least of all Will, thought this day would arrive. That somehow after all the shit that went down in South America he would end up in the same supermarket as his ex-fiance who caught him standing in front of the cereal aisle for five minutes, his head the noisiest yet quietest it had ever been. She took him to a coffee shop and listened as he told her everything that had gone wrong before giving him her number should he need to talk again. After seeing her it was the kick he needed to go to therapy and reevaluate his life, eventually finding the confidence to pick up the phone and ask her on a date.

Now, just over a year later, he was standing in a hotel room with his brothers in arms and preparing to wait at the end of the aisle for the love of his life. He was surprisingly panicked, something the rest of the guys had never seen before even on the toughest missions. Pope was trying to lighten the mood as he poured some of those tiny bottles of whiskey and tequila into glasses before passing them out while Benny had lost and found the rings three times now. But Frankie?

Frankie was watching silently from the corner, texting you to check that you and the kids were ready and on your way. After the text had been delivered he placed his phone inside his tux pocket, sighing when his eyes locked on his panicked friend. He pushed off from the wall and walked over to Will, placing steady hands on his friend’s shaking shoulders.

“I’m going to tell you what you told me the morning of my wedding,” Frankie’s unwavering voice suddenly quietened the room, “do you deserve that woman who will be walking down the aisle to you in less than an hour? Probably not. But does she love you more than anyone else in the world despite all the fucked up shit you’ve seen and done? Hell yeah. And do you love her?”

“More than anything,” Will sighed.

“Yeah you do,” Frankie took his hands from his friend’s shoulders and patted him on the back, “so let’s finish getting ready and then you can go make her your wife so you can be the best goddamn husband.”

The now calm room was a lot easier to get ready in, all four men looking in the mirror for one last check before heading to the door. As they walked to the elevator Frankie’s phone pinged and he took it out of the pocket to silence it before checking the text.

Just at the church now. Sofia was finally convinced to swap the Cinderella dress for the flower girl one and baby girl is still asleep, let’s hope it stays that way for the ceremony.

Frankie smiled down at his phone, leaning forward to press the elevator button for the ground floor before texting back.

My Mom will pick them up later and then we can enjoy the free bar:)

The text bubbles were already popping up and he waited for your response.

Are you trying to get me drunk Mr Morales?

Well, while I’m sure you look beautiful in that dress I will tell you I can’t wait to get it off you tonight ;)

Frankie! I’m in a church!

Frankie chuckled as the elevator bell rang again and it opened to the hotel lobby, now a lot quieter than it had been with all the guests already at the church that was attached to the side of the hotel.

Just heading over now, baby. See you soon.

It was barely a two minute walk to the church, quiet as the other three men let their friend sort his head up before the most important day of his life. The peace was disrupted with the church doors opening, the chatter halting for a moment as the heads turned and landed on Will and they followed him down the aisle.

Frankie’s eyes immediately landed on you, one of your hands balancing your eldest daughter who was bouncing on the pew seat while the other held your youngest to your chest. He paused as he reached your row, leaning across and giving a kiss to Sofia’s cheek and the top of baby girl’s head before finding your lips.

“You look... beautiful,” he whispered.

“And you look very handsome,” you whispered back as he stood up.

Frankie winked at you before following his brothers to the front of the church. It was a quick blur as they settled and the music began, notifying everyone of the bride’s soon to be arrival. At some point not long after the ceremony began, Frankie’s mind wandered back to his own wedding day four years ago.

He remembered how sick with nerves he felt the morning of until you started your walk down the aisle to him. You looked beautiful as you do everyday but now, with the air an official of commitment between you both, his heart faltered. He remembers every single word shared between you both, how you wiped his tears away with your thumb as he stuttered through his vows, how wide you smiled when you were pronounced husband and wife before biting your lip and leaning forward for your first kiss as a married couple.

His eyes moved up to find you again. You were whispering something in Sofia’s ear, your arm around her shoulder and keeping her close against your side with the baby tight against your chest and your arm slightly rocking to keep her asleep.

It was at this moment that a wave of contentness washed over him; looking at his perfect, little family that had brought him back from the darkest point in his life. His wife still looked at him with the same love and adoration as she did on their own wedding day. His eldest daughter looked at him like he could slay every monster and dragon like the ones in her storybooks, and he would if it meant she would be safe. His youngest always settled quickly in his arms, like those same hands hadn’t killed and hurt before.

Your eyes flicked up to meet his, a small smile finding your lips. You mouthed those three words that you say to each other every day, which he returned knowing no one in the church was focused on him.

He had never felt the calmness that he was feeling in this moment before. For the first time he felt that somehow he maybe deserved the life that he had because no matter what he had done, in the army or on the grey legal area missions him and the guys had done since retirement, he loved the three of you more than anyone else would and he could protect you better than anyone else could.

Now, with his three beautiful girls happy and healthy and safe, he knew what real contentness felt like.

Permanent tag // @phoenixhalliwell @asta-lily @hb8301 @princess76179 @sarahjkl82-blog @spideysimpossiblegirl @blackmarketmummy @bison-writes @dihra-vesa @queridopascal @sfr99 @rosiefridayrogersunday

#frankie morales #frankie catfish morales #frankie morales x you #frankie catfish morales x you #frankie morales x reader #frankie catfish morales x reader #Frankie Morales x female reader #fic #fanfic #headcannon #oneshot

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unwrittenlibrary · 4 years ago

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Saturday Sun I

Summary: it’s the beginning of may. mother’s day has come and gone, with your family trip coming up and things are seemingly falling apart even more. you and harry are forced to come head to head with real issues. (harry x fem!reader)

Word Count: 1.3K (second part will be the longer piece)

Warnings: Angst. Cheating. Find all in depth warnings in the first two parts.

Notes: hello, part three is divided into two parts, this first one focusing on some conflict & the second part to it will focus more on family dynamic & light resolution. part of this piece has harry’s pov instead of entirely the readers.

Part One & Two (along with a companion piece) can be found in my h.s masterlist!

i need to ask her

what’s going on?

are we going strong?

May - Part I

It’s the Monday before your flight.

April had come and April had gone and you were still struggling to focus on anything but your kids and issues with Harry. You suppose that’s okay, your next deadline was months away and with the trip coming up all you could focus on were those things.

Mother’s Day had slipped your mind completely. You were busy making lists and triple checking flight info to even think of asking the kids and Harry about their plans.

“How was your weekend? Everything went well?” Dr. Walsh’s voice forces you to look up from the new watch that adorns your wrist.

You glance at Harry, who waits for you to answer. You shrug. “It was nice… Harry and the kids treated me yesterday.”

The watch is a beautiful rose gold color and is a thin band compared to the band of your last watch. Your kids initials had been engraved onto the inner band. It was, by all means, a lovely and well thought out gift. Not only replacing the watch you had worn for a decade and had finally snapped, but reminding of the best parts of your life.

“Tell me about your day!” Dr. Walsh smiles kindly. Her eyes move between you and Harry, polite and u judging, before landing on your wrist.

“I got breakfast, at the table, breakfast in bed is too hectic with three kids and a baby.” You laugh softly, thinking of the kids and their not well hidden excitement for your day. “And they all got me gifts. The twins made clay handprints in school. Seph picked out a new wallet for me and even bought it on her own!”

It’s impossible to contain your happiness that rolls off of you when you talk about the kids. Bragging about their thoughtfulness and kind gifts makes you almost forget where you are.

“That sounds so lovely.” Dr. Walsh brings you back down. Your eyes move to Harry. His eyes are open and he’s smiling softly as you speak. But his fingers are fidgeting in his lap and you know he had hoped you would be proud of his gift too.

And you were. But maybe that was the worst part. That it was kind hearted and well thought out and so very Harry that you almost hated it. You hated how one small gift had caused a sliver of hope to crawl into your bloodstream and make your heart race for him again.

That it made you believe, for one brief moment, all his promises and words about never falling out of love with you and never wanting to let you go.

“Harry got me a watch too.” You finally say, quiet and full of despair. “Mine snapped a few weeks ago… It has the kids initials in it. It was a good day.”

Dr. Walsh nods. “It’s a lovely watch.” Her eyes move pointedly from it on your wrist to you. “So what’s wrong?”

You fiddle with it, twisting it on your wrist and tapping the face anxiously. “It feels tainted.” You steadily avoid looking at Harry as you say the words. Dr. Walsh nods, but doesn’t say anything, silently urging you to continue. “I love it. And that… makes me feel guilty. And it makes me feel dumb because one stupid gift made me forget this bullshit for a second and I just felt that love for him again.”

There’s an intake of breath to your right, but Dr. Walsh doesn’t look at all shocked by your words. “It makes sense. You want to be angry. You have a right to be angry and when something gets in the way of that, you’re unsure of how to feel.”

You nod. Her words make sense. You did want to be angry and after your brief elation with the gift you found you still were.

“I am going to feel like this for the rest of my life?” You whisper.

She shakes her head. “No. One day, this anger will be gone. But… it’s up to you whether or not you can get there with each other. If you can forgive Harry and let go of the anger. Or not. Neither is wrong.”

You nod. Sometimes these sessions felt like she was strictly talking to you. Harry just listened. Spoke up when you asked him to, or when Dr. Walsh worked on exercises.

A part of you found that it helped. You were able to say things you may not have ever said to Harry. But sometimes it felt like he was unsure if he should try and that made you angrier.

Harry’s hopes are built up and shattered. It’s his own fault, he knows it is. Knows that this was an easily fixable marriage before he fucked up.

You’ve talked about the cheating a little in therapy. Dr. Walsh has mentioned it, you’ve let your anger out, Harry has apologized. It’s a cycle that seems never ending. He doesn’t know what to do. All he wants so desperately is to fucking fix it.

But...

The drive has been silent. You stare out the window at cars and buildings that pass. There are bags in the truck rustling around, a last minute stop for last minute items needed for the trip.

You had been silent in the store too. Quietly checking off your list as Harry pushed the cart behind you. Had his gift upset you this much? You still loving him made you this angry?

“I… I don’t know what to do.” Harry finally says, forcing his voice to cut through the silence. You startle and turn to look at him. “Tell me what to do.” He pleads.

He knows you can hear the desperation in his voice. Whether or not you were angry at him, you knew him, you knew his tells and his emotions.

“What do you want me to say, H?” Your voice is a whisper but still harsh. “I don’t know! I don’t know what you can do! Build a time machine. Don’t cheat on me.”

“It feels like we’re going in circles.” Harry tries to keep his calm. He wants to keep the anxiety and hurt out of his voice. “Like, you’re angry then you see this chance and there’s hope, then there’s anger again.”

You scoff. “I’m sorry my pain isn’t linear enough for you! I’m sorry that sometimes I see glimpses of you and I’m reminded of us ten years ago, so in love and oblivious to the outside world. Sorry that it all comes crashing down when I remember that you fucking cheated on me!”

Harry sighs and his grip on the steering wheel tightens. “I fucked up so bad. I know. I know. God, what can I do? Anything.”

“Why did you do it?” You ask instead of answering. There’s a coldness in your words and Harry’s aware you’re both trapped in the car for another twenty minutes. So are you, apparently. “And don’t give me the same bullshit about being selfish and not knowing why and it being a mistake.”

Harry feels desperation claw at his throat and tears burning in the corner of his eyes. It’s like he can’t breathe, trapped in a coffin of your anger and his guilt. He tries to keep his eyes focused on the road as he talks. “I… I felt wanted. I liked the attention.”

There’s a sharp intake of breath, but Harry keeps his face forward and eyes focused. “Tell me what happened.”

“Y/N…” Harry trails off. “I… I can’t.”

You groan and fall forward with your head in your hands. “I need to know, H. I don’t… I just need to know because all I can think about is these what if situations and scenarios in my head. And I’ll just keep running through them until I hate you.”

Harry bites down on his lip and spares a glance at you. “What if… What if I tell you and you hate me anyways?” The question is unfair. He knows it is. But he can’t fathom a world without you in it. A world where he sees you on drop off days and has to plan separate holidays.

“I don’t know.” You say quietly. But, it feels like answer enough. There’s no reason for you not to leave.

And Harry guesses a promise to try was never really a promise to stay.

notes: thank you for the patience! i understand this piece is short, this part has been a lil tricky and i wanted to get the first part to may out before summer courses begun. i’m hoping i’m able to continue writing through them, but i will warn readers i am enrolled in two of the three week classes that have a lot of work and move quickly. so patience will be appreciated. i hope everyone is safe & healthy and has a wonderful end of school/university/spring! and congratulations to all the grads these next two months. i’m planning on ending this series with a total of five parts (march, april, may, june, july) w/ two endings.

tags (im tagging a couple ppl who messaged me awhile ago (after the last part), if u dont wanna be tagged anymore let me know! sorry!@alwaysclassyeagle @yourgoldengirls

if u wanna be tagged just message me & let me know if u want it for just this series or for all my h writing! ❤️

#harry styles oneshot #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles x fem!reader #harry styles #harry styles writing

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