#happy essex anniversary

[therealpoophouse]

Happy 204 year anniversary to the sinking of the Essex, the sinking of this ship after being rammed by a sperm whale inspired Moby Dick and also half the crew ate each other

[applepies-and-starlight]

Was Ishmael always your favorite from day one, or did Canto 5 swing things in her direction?

So, she wasn't like, my favorite favorite day 1, but I did have a higher opinion of her compared to the rest of the cast (barring Ryoshu and Sinclair as food name oomf was making propaganda about them like a madman), her initial demeanor also gained her extra points because I generally gravitate towards characters that Actually Respect The MC/PC i won't say no to unhinged characters can we at least pretend to be civil during work hours and not treat me like a dog? It makes me sad :(

And then Canto V dropped.

Normally, this wouldn't be. That Big of a deal, if it was in literally any other position I'd just go "oh cool, so that's what happened" and moved on.

Problem: there was probably at least 20 different sleeper agents in my brain. And all of them involved Azur Lane

(Context for confused LCB moots: Azur Lane is Arknights' weirder, hornier cousin set somewhere in a WW2-adjacent period where all of your units are warships given human form known as Shipgirls (official term: KAN-SEN) and you fight against a robotic menace known as the Sirens)

(Editing Apple: putting this under cut because... oh lird. It's long.)

I had this like, entire ramble I wanted to go off on but at some point I didn't know where to take it lmao, but the basic idea is the following:

I got into Azur Lane last year because of spite and (eldritch-ish) pirates (Hello Royal Fortune!)

Got dragged into lore rabbit hole

Got convinced to read eldritch apocalypse fanfiction of Azur Lane (Whispers of Saturn)

Loved the fanfic a lot, started making Pirate shipgirl ocs based off the fic's concept (eldritch creachurr)

First iteration of Whaleship Essex created; whale-like mermaid-siren figure who has albinism and is a little Too trigger happy with whale murder

Made her look like Ishmael LCB because haha funny reference

Devs went fuckshit crazy with the anniversary event; Marco Polo was raining the wrath of God (who, to the surprise of absolutely nobody, was a false god), the god in question was fucking up the world with a weird white membrane (which, now that I think about it, kinda acted like pallidification), the french were getting back together, everything is great

I try to add the false god(s) into the lore timeline of my Azur Lane shit, cue updates happening to Whaleship Essex where she's the only survivor of her group and knows that someone else also survived but blames them for not being able to Do Something about it

New Pirate event happens

Devs stole 2 of my OCs and made them canon (hi, Hind; hi, Galley) and they also happen to be close to Whaleship Essex while they were my OCs

I work around what the Devs have given me and decide that they're in a state of kinda died-but-not-really (long story)

(Note that I came up with all this oc stuff around like. November or something.)

Overall my hype for The Sea™ and eldritch horrors have reached an all time high

Canto V releases; I learn about it while trying to make a Limbus AU for Murder Drones

I decide to check it out because. Water.

Doomed sailor yuri

"Holy fucking shit did I just predict Canto V with my OC that's completely unrelated in every way except for the fact that she looks A Lot like Ishmael???? What?????"

Present time; I have been stuck in the Limbus hole ever since (and apparently my brain has delusionally stuck itself onto our favorite ginger sailor so uh. hi fellow ishmael irls!)

Sooooo... yeah

Basically we wouldn't be here if the stars didn't align at Halloween 2022 and Manjuu + Yostar gave the AL fans someone who isn't a pirate

[mikerickson]

Happy 204th anniversary to the event that inspired Herman Melville to write Moby Dick:

I turned around and saw him about one hundred rods [500 m or 550 yards] directly ahead of us, coming down with twice his ordinary speed of around 24 knots (44 km/h), and it appeared with tenfold fury and vengeance in his aspect. The surf flew in all directions about him with the continual violent thrashing of his tail. His head about half out of the water, and in that way he came upon us, and again struck the ship. — Owen Chase

[noloveforned]

welcome to 2024! no love for ned is still here and still on wlur every friday night from 8pm until midnight! i was hoping to have a new theme set to go this week but we're going to stick with our fall 'food songs' for another week.

our last show of the year was the annual look back twenty years ago for our best of 2003 show (now streaming on mixcloud). if you enjoyed the show, you can also check out the previous nine retrospective shows spotlighting 2002, 2001, 2000, 1999, 1998, 1997, 1996, 1995 and 1993 (1994 will be produced later this year as a special a 30th anniversary show).

no love for ned on wlur – december 29th, 2023 from 8pm-midnight

artist // track // album // label the aislers set // languor in the balcony // how i learned to write backwards // slumberland shout out louds // the comeback // howl howl gaff gaff // bud fox matt suggs // calm down // amigo row // merge belle and sebastian // i'm a cuckoo // dear catastrophe waitress // rough trade the rosebuds // kicks in the schoolyard // make out // merge the lucksmiths // midweek midmorning // naturaliste // drive-in sprites // do it yourself // starling, spiders, tiger and sprites // march camera obscura // suspended from class // underachievers please try harder // elefant st. thomas // a long long time // hey harmony // racing junior bishop allen // little black ache // charm school // champagne school herman düne // why would that hurt? (if you never loved me) // mash concrete metal mushroom // shrimper bearsuit // itsuko got married // itsuko got married 7" // bearslut dressy bessy // baby six string // dressy bessy // kindercore the new pornographers // testament to youth in verse // electric version // matador all girl summer fun band // dear mr. and mrs. troublemaker // 2 // k david and the citizens // graycoated morning // until the sadness is gone // adrian saturday looks good to me // alcohol // all your summer songs // polyvinyl the essex green // the late great cassiopia // the long goodbye // merge beulah // landslide baby // yoko // velocette reclinerland // give up your film career (lenny's theme) // the ideal home music library // hush blanket music // hyper-ballad // read: interpreting bjork tribute // hush tobin sprout // doctor #8 // lost planets and phantom voices // mr. whiggs plastic mastery // i fell in love on the way to a funeral // sverige ep // 555 the thermals // no culture icons // more parts per million // sub pop rainer maria // mystery and misery // long knives drawn // polyvinyl joel plaskett emergency // extraordinary // truthfully truthfully // maple music sloan // false alarm // action pact // vik guided by voices // useless inventions // earthquake glue // matador deerhoof // dummy discards a heart // apple o' // kill rock stars lil' hospital // there could be girlfriend // i wanna be well // best friends the national splits // she's my baby and she's alright // fontana // mr. whiggs murder beach // eight great ways // first string teenage high- songs of tullycraft played by people who aren't tribute // bumblebear casiotone for the painfully alone // jeane, if you're ever in portland // twinkle echo // tomlab bobby birdman // i will come again // heart caves ep // states rights

erykah badu // back in the day // worldwide underground // motown the books // take time // the lemon of pink // tomlab nanang tatang // bunny hop hop // muki // tiger style so // a // so // thrill jockey piana // hide and seek // snow bird // happy broken social scene // anthems for a seventeen-year-old girl // you forgot it in people // arts and crafts califone // michigan girls // quicksand/cradlesnakes // thrill jockey the strugglers // the new room // the new room // tract magnolia electric co. // just be simple // the magnolia electric co. // secretly canadian crooked fingers // big darkness // red devil dawn // merge the trouble with sweeney // the break up // i know you destroy // burnt toast vinyl barzin // past all concerns // barzin // where are my azure ray // hold on love // hold on love // saddle creek seekonk // move // for barbara lee // kimchee sun kill moon // carry me ohio // ghosts of the great highway // jetset the american analog set // come home baby julie, come home // promise of love // tiger style the twilight singers // teenage wristband // blackberry belle // birdman spiritualized // she kissed me (it felt like a hit) // amazing grace // sanctuary the postal service // the district sleeps alone tonight // give up // sub pop her space holiday // my girlfriend's boyfriend // the young machines // mush styrofoam // a heart without a mind // i'm what's there to show that something's missing // morr music howard hello // my friend / the parasite // don't drink his blood // temporary residence pernice brothers // one foot in the grave // yours, mine and ours // ashmont the salteens // damn you // let go of your bad days // drive-in the unicorns // i was born (a unicorn) // who will cut our hair when we're gone? // alien8 the hidden cameras // ban marriage // the smell of our own // rough trade yo la tengo // today is the day // today is the day ep // matador

[justzawe]

Zawe Ashton: 2022 Year in Review

Filmed/Recorded

Maryland

OBKI season 2

Starred in

Maryland

Mr. Malcolm's List

Appeared on

The Last Leg

GMA3

Literature Matters: RSL 200

AAFCA Virtual Roundtable

Harper's Bazaar - What you don't know about me

Elle UK - Ask Me Anything

Tea with Tatler

Cosmo UK - Up Close

Teen Vogue - A Conversation on Diversity

Happy, Sad, Confused - Game Night

Hosted

The Woman Who... podcast series

Attended

Fresh Meat 10th Anniversary + Q&A

Dunhill's Pre-BAFTA Filmmaker's dinner and party

75th BAFTA Film Awards

The Essex Serpent Premiere and after party

The NYC premiere of Mr. Malcom's List

The London premiere of Mr. Malcolm's List

Opening of Zoe Buckman's Bloodwork art show

Featured in

Vogue Beauty

The Guardian Saturday

The New York Times

Tatler

Kinfolk magazine

The Bare magazine

Thrillest

Women's Wear Daily

eBay UK's Authenticity Guarantee campaign

Emilia Wickstead's pre-fall 2022 show on Vogue Runway

Extras

engagement to Tom Hiddleston confirmed 💍

announced pregnancy in Vogue Beauty 🍼

gave birth to baby in the fall 🍁

[nojarama]

Happy 30th anniversary to Alison Moyet’s album, ‘Essex’. Released this week in 1994. #alisonmoyet #essex #falling #whisperingyourname #gettingintosomething #odetoboy

[daramsphotography]

Why You Should Consider Renting a Video Booth for Your Next Event?

Even though images are easily accessible, there is a certain enchantment to freezing time as it happens. Hiring a video booth is a fun and unique way to capture special moments at parties, weddings, and other occasions. 

Exactly what does it mean to rent a video booth?

Rental of a portable video booth or kiosk that guests may use to film personalized welcomes, impromptu performances, or even short films is what is meant by "video booth." Recording is made simple in one of these booths because to the presence of cameras, microphones, and an intuitive interface. The movies can be promptly distributed online or assembled into a souvenir for the event's organizers and participants.

Why You Should Rent a Video Booth

Video booth hire Essex is a fun and flexible way to capture memories from a variety of events:

video booths are becoming increasingly popular at weddings, where attendees may send personalized greetings for the happy couple. The collected messages may be turned into a touching video that no one else will have.

Businesses frequently employ video booths during conventions, trade exhibitions, and other types of corporate events. Participant feedback in the form of testimonials, reflections on the event, and team-building exercises may all be used to inform promotional and strategic efforts.

360 video booth hire Colchester is a great addition to any party or celebration, whether it's a birthday bash or an anniversary party. Visitors can write notes, perform music, and tell jokes.

A Hired Video Booth Has Many Advantages

Video booths provide event-goers something fun and interactive to do, making them more likely to stay for the duration of the event. They inspire others to take part and interact, which in turn creates more memorable experiences. You can even do Christmas mini photo session.

Video messages are a great way to capture genuine emotions like laughter and tears as well as heartfelt congrats. Genuine interactions like these are the stuff of lasting memories.

Video booths can be tailored to the event's theme or purpose. Branded overlays, backgrounds, and personalised objects are all a part of this.

Many modern video booths have the capacity to instantaneously upload and distribute content to various social media platforms and email addresses. This enables for more people to learn about the event and benefit from the experiences of those who attended.

Video recordings made in the booth during business events can be used as promotional tools. Trust and credibility may be established by using them in promotional films, advertising, or testimonials.

You may make one-of-a-kind keepsakes by compiling the video greetings for the host or guest of honor. It might serve as a keepsake to remind those who attended of the special occasion.

Video booths are intuitive to operate and need nothing in the way of training. Everyone in attendance may take part because the activities are simple and basic.

Hiring a video booth is a great way to make events more memorable and interactive for guests of all ages. Video booths are a fun and creative method for guests to express themselves at any event, including weddings, business functions, parties, and even commencement exercises. Video booths are becoming increasingly popular among event organizers due to their convenient sharing features and adaptability choices.

[xprojectrpg]

This Day in X-Project - October 31

Reed Richards and Jennie Stavros' birthdays

PHASE 2

2015: John posts to inform people that he’s going to spend the weekend in a dilapidated cabin in the woods. Alex leaves candy buckets outside the apartment of himself and Scott. Gabriel, Felicia, and Jean all post pictures of their Hallowe’en costumes.

2016: Clea posts cackling that something lives. Nica lets everyone know that Oswald the Pumpkin now has vampire fangs and dribbles of blood leaking from his mouth. Miles suggests that people gather for a horror movie party, but to leave their pumpkins behind. Topaz posts a story about how she told a guy on campus that she’s dressed as a witch for Halloween. Garrison organizes a pumpkin drive, donating the pumpkins which had gathered around the mansion to a local bakery for the nearby shelters. Billy posts a picture encouraging the mansion folk to get their act together and not be outdone by NASA's Halloween decorations. While everyone else is trick or treating, Reed and Sue have a chance encounter in the Stormtech labs when he gives her a ring of malleable metal.

2017: Topaz posts about telling costumed people she is dressed up as a witch for Halloween. Hope has a meeting with her little eyes-and-ears network.

2018: Topaz makes a journal entry about green, warty witches being out of style.

2019: House of Horrors: Four groups of mansionites visit a haunted house run by a local fraternity, only to discover themselves facing their worst fears; after being separated from the others, Stephen, and Jean discover the cause of the problem, a demon known as a Fear Eater; Clea and Darcy get involved to exorcise the demon and make sure the house is clean. Following the party, Alex and Lorna talk about Alex's fears.

2020: Nica makes a post about attending a college party as Harriet Tubman, Vampire Slayer.

2021: Molly is excited for Halloween. Monster Mash: The Halloween House Party starts at the mansion for all residents; Felicia posts her costume to the journals before heading off for drinks; Marie-Ange, Angelo, Jubilee, Jean and Gabriel find themselves trapped in a Mummy movie; Arthur, Meggan and Molly wind up in a Zombie movie, with Nica and Maya as the undead; Kyle, Darcy, Bobby, Alani, Alison, America, Artie, Doug, Matt all find themselves trapped in a Werewolf movie; Darcy, is the mad scientist in a Frankenstein scenario, with Kurt her assistant and Doug the Creation, and Matt and Bobby local police investigating; meanwhile, Felicia, Wanda, Topaz and Kevin enjoy drinks far from the mansion shenanigans; Alex, Amanda, Betsy, Emma, Namor and Terry find themselves in a somewhat over the top Gothic Vampire movie; Topaz and Wanda get home just in time to have Avalon explode magic at them. Molly posts about Halloween not being a good time. Arise, X-Man: Laurie goes to see Essex at his labs in New York, meets his son and begins treatment.

2022: Nica wishes everyone a happy Halloween and asks what they’re doing. In District X in pursuit of her bloodstones, Illyana indulges in a treat, glimpses her brother, and harasses Forge into a breakdown.

[brookston]

Holidays 8.29

Holidays

According To Hoyle Day

Black Book Clubs Day

Clean Your Keyboard Day

Day of Loose Talk

Day of Remembrance of the Defenders of Ukraine (Ukraine)

Fennel Day (French Republic)

Flag Day (Spain)

Happy Housewives Holiday

Head Day (Iceland)

Individual Rights Day

International Day Against Nuclear Tests (UN)

Judgment Day (in the film “The Terminator”)

Michael Jackson

Miners’ Day (Ukraine)

Municipal Police Day (Poland)

National Caretaker Appreciation Day (Canada)

National College Colors Day

National Monterey County Fair Day

National Police’s Day (Poland)

National Sarcoidosis Awareness Day

National Sport Sampling Day

National Sports Day (India)

Nut Spas (Russia)

Potteries Bottle Oven Day (UK)

Slovak National Uprising Anniversary Day (Slovakia)

Targeted Individual Day

Telugu Language Day (India)

Third Onam (Harvest Festival; India)

World Day of Video Games

Zipper Clasp Locker Day

Food & Drink Celebrations

Chop Suey Day

Gnocchi Day (Argentina)

International Peppercorn Day

Lemon Juice Day

More Herbs, Less Salt Day

National Swiss Winegrowers Day

5th & Last Tuesday in August

Lammas Fair Day (Ballycastle, Ireland) [Last Tuesday]

Touch-A-Heart Tuesday [Tuesday of Be Kind to Humankind Week]

Independence Days

Hjalvik (Declared; 2020) [unrecognized]

Mivland (Declared; 2018) [unrecognized]

Veyshnoria (Declared; 2017) [unrecognized]

Feast Days

Adelphus of Metz (Christian; Saint)

Beheading of St. John the Baptist (Christian)

Blobfish Day (Pastafarian)

Dr. Lily Rosenbloom (Muppetism)

Eadwold of Cerne (Christian; Saint)

Euphrasia Eluvathingal (Syro-Malabar Catholic Church)

Feast of Agios Ioannis (Halki, Hittitie God of Grain)

First Day of Thoth (Egyptian New Year)

Gahan Wilson Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)

Hathor’s Day (Pagan)

Jean Auguste Dominique Ingres (Artology)

John Bunyan (Episcopal Church)

Medericus (a.k.a. St. Merry; Christian; Saint)

Nativity of Hathor (Egyptian Goddess of Joy & Drunkenness)

Papin (Positivist; Saint)

Sabina (Christian; Saint)

Sebbi (a.k.a. Sebba), King of Essex (Christian; Saint)

Thiruvonam (Rice Harvest Festival, Day 2; Kerala, India)

Vitalis, Sator and Repositus (Christian; Saints)

Lucky & Unlucky Days

Prime Number Day: 241 [53 of 72]

Tomobiki (友引 Japan) [Good luck all day, except at noon.]

Unlucky Day (Grafton’s Manual of 1565) [38 of 60]

Urda (The Oldest Fate)

Premieres

At Your Service Madame (WB MM Cartoon; 1936)

Balls of Fury (Film; 2007)

Cat-Tails for Two (WB MM Cartoon; 1953)

Definitely Maybe, by Oasis (Album; 1994)

The Fugitive final episode (Most Watched TV Show; 1967)

The Full Monty (Film; 1987)

Here Today, Gone Tamale (WB LT Cartoon; 1959)

Independent Women, by Destiny’s Child (Song; 2000)

It’s A Pity To Say Goodnight, recorded by Ella Fitzgerald (Song; 1946)

Kid Galahad (Elvis Presley Film; 1962)

Mary Poppins (Film; 1964)

Move It, by Cliff Richard and the Drifters (Song; 1958)

Pretty Woman, by Roy Orbison (Song; 1964)

Ridiculousness (TV Series; 2011)

Runaway, by Janet Jackson (Song; 1995)

Saint Errant, by Leslie Charteris (Short Stories 1948) [Saint #29]

Shanghai Surprise (Film; 1986)

Signing Off, by UB40 (Album; 1980)

Today’s Name Days

Beatrix, Johannes, Sabine (Austria)

Anastas, Anastasi, Anastasiya (Bulgaria)

Bazila, Ivan, Sabina, Sebo, Verona (Croatia)

Evelína (Czech Republic)

Johannes (Denmark)

Õnne, Õnnela (Estonia)

Iina, Iines, Inari, Inna (Finland)

Médéric, Sabine (France)

Beatrice, Johannes, Sabine (Germany)

Arkadios (Greece)

Beatrix, Erna (Hungary)

Battista, Giovanni, Sabina (Italy)

Aiga, Aigars, Armīns, Vismants (Latvia)

Barvydas, Beatričė, Gaudvydė, Sabina (Lithuania)

Jo, Johan, Jone (Norway)

Flora, Jan, Racibor, Sabina (Poland)

Nikola (Slovakia)

Juan (Spain)

Hampus, Hans (Sweden)

Candace, Candice, Poppy, Sabina, Sabra, Sabrina (USA)

Today is Also…

Day of Year: Day 241 of 2024; 124 days remaining in the year

ISO: Day 2 of week 35 of 2023

Celtic Tree Calendar: Coll (Hazel) [Day 22 of 28]

Chinese: Month 7 (Geng-Shen), Day 14 (Ji-Wei)

Chinese Year of the: Rabbit 4721 (until February 10, 2024)

Hebrew: 12 Elul 5783

Islamic: 12 Safar 1445

J Cal: 1 Aki; Oneday [1 of 30]

Julian: 15 August 2023

Moon: 97%: Waxing Gibbous

Positivist: 17 Gutenberg (9th Month) [Papin]

Runic Half Month: Rad (Motion) [Day 2 of 15]

Season: Summer (Day 69 of 94)

Zodiac: Virgo (Day 8 of 32)

Calendar Changes

Aki (Month 9 of 12; J Calendar)

[brookstonalmanac]

Holidays 8.29

Holidays

According To Hoyle Day

Black Book Clubs Day

Clean Your Keyboard Day

Day of Loose Talk

Day of Remembrance of the Defenders of Ukraine (Ukraine)

Fennel Day (French Republic)

Flag Day (Spain)

Happy Housewives Holiday

Head Day (Iceland)

Individual Rights Day

International Day Against Nuclear Tests (UN)

Judgment Day (in the film “The Terminator”)

Michael Jackson

Miners’ Day (Ukraine)

Municipal Police Day (Poland)

National Caretaker Appreciation Day (Canada)

National College Colors Day

National Monterey County Fair Day

National Police’s Day (Poland)

National Sarcoidosis Awareness Day

National Sport Sampling Day

National Sports Day (India)

Nut Spas (Russia)

Potteries Bottle Oven Day (UK)

Slovak National Uprising Anniversary Day (Slovakia)

Targeted Individual Day

Telugu Language Day (India)

Third Onam (Harvest Festival; India)

World Day of Video Games

Zipper Clasp Locker Day

Food & Drink Celebrations

Chop Suey Day

Gnocchi Day (Argentina)

International Peppercorn Day

Lemon Juice Day

More Herbs, Less Salt Day

National Swiss Winegrowers Day

5th & Last Tuesday in August

Lammas Fair Day (Ballycastle, Ireland) [Last Tuesday]

Touch-A-Heart Tuesday [Tuesday of Be Kind to Humankind Week]

Independence Days

Hjalvik (Declared; 2020) [unrecognized]

Mivland (Declared; 2018) [unrecognized]

Veyshnoria (Declared; 2017) [unrecognized]

Feast Days

Adelphus of Metz (Christian; Saint)

Beheading of St. John the Baptist (Christian)

Blobfish Day (Pastafarian)

Dr. Lily Rosenbloom (Muppetism)

Eadwold of Cerne (Christian; Saint)

Euphrasia Eluvathingal (Syro-Malabar Catholic Church)

Feast of Agios Ioannis (Halki, Hittitie God of Grain)

First Day of Thoth (Egyptian New Year)

Gahan Wilson Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)

Hathor’s Day (Pagan)

Jean Auguste Dominique Ingres (Artology)

John Bunyan (Episcopal Church)

Medericus (a.k.a. St. Merry; Christian; Saint)

Nativity of Hathor (Egyptian Goddess of Joy & Drunkenness)

Papin (Positivist; Saint)

Sabina (Christian; Saint)

Sebbi (a.k.a. Sebba), King of Essex (Christian; Saint)

Thiruvonam (Rice Harvest Festival, Day 2; Kerala, India)

Vitalis, Sator and Repositus (Christian; Saints)

Lucky & Unlucky Days

Prime Number Day: 241 [53 of 72]

Tomobiki (友引 Japan) [Good luck all day, except at noon.]

Unlucky Day (Grafton’s Manual of 1565) [38 of 60]

Urda (The Oldest Fate)

Premieres

At Your Service Madame (WB MM Cartoon; 1936)

Balls of Fury (Film; 2007)

Cat-Tails for Two (WB MM Cartoon; 1953)

Definitely Maybe, by Oasis (Album; 1994)

The Fugitive final episode (Most Watched TV Show; 1967)

The Full Monty (Film; 1987)

Here Today, Gone Tamale (WB LT Cartoon; 1959)

Independent Women, by Destiny’s Child (Song; 2000)

It’s A Pity To Say Goodnight, recorded by Ella Fitzgerald (Song; 1946)

Kid Galahad (Elvis Presley Film; 1962)

Mary Poppins (Film; 1964)

Move It, by Cliff Richard and the Drifters (Song; 1958)

Pretty Woman, by Roy Orbison (Song; 1964)

Ridiculousness (TV Series; 2011)

Runaway, by Janet Jackson (Song; 1995)

Saint Errant, by Leslie Charteris (Short Stories 1948) [Saint #29]

Shanghai Surprise (Film; 1986)

Signing Off, by UB40 (Album; 1980)

Today’s Name Days

Beatrix, Johannes, Sabine (Austria)

Anastas, Anastasi, Anastasiya (Bulgaria)

Bazila, Ivan, Sabina, Sebo, Verona (Croatia)

Evelína (Czech Republic)

Johannes (Denmark)

Õnne, Õnnela (Estonia)

Iina, Iines, Inari, Inna (Finland)

Médéric, Sabine (France)

Beatrice, Johannes, Sabine (Germany)

Arkadios (Greece)

Beatrix, Erna (Hungary)

Battista, Giovanni, Sabina (Italy)

Aiga, Aigars, Armīns, Vismants (Latvia)

Barvydas, Beatričė, Gaudvydė, Sabina (Lithuania)

Jo, Johan, Jone (Norway)

Flora, Jan, Racibor, Sabina (Poland)

Nikola (Slovakia)

Juan (Spain)

Hampus, Hans (Sweden)

Candace, Candice, Poppy, Sabina, Sabra, Sabrina (USA)

Today is Also…

Day of Year: Day 241 of 2024; 124 days remaining in the year

ISO: Day 2 of week 35 of 2023

Celtic Tree Calendar: Coll (Hazel) [Day 22 of 28]

Chinese: Month 7 (Geng-Shen), Day 14 (Ji-Wei)

Chinese Year of the: Rabbit 4721 (until February 10, 2024)

Hebrew: 12 Elul 5783

Islamic: 12 Safar 1445

J Cal: 1 Aki; Oneday [1 of 30]

Julian: 15 August 2023

Moon: 97%: Waxing Gibbous

Positivist: 17 Gutenberg (9th Month) [Papin]

Runic Half Month: Rad (Motion) [Day 2 of 15]

Season: Summer (Day 69 of 94)

Zodiac: Virgo (Day 8 of 32)

Calendar Changes

Aki (Month 9 of 12; J Calendar)

[nosuchthingasagruffalo]

Chapter 2

Incoming message from DS5. From Charlotte Janeway. To Niamh Janeway.

TEXT ONLY NO MEDIA FILE: Hi Niamh, I tried to call you earlier but you were out, how are you this week sweetie? I think deferring until next year is a good idea, going back to the same class without Amal will be too awful, next year it will be a new group and a fresh start. Have you applied for local jobs yet? I think you should have something to keep you going.

Work fine, not much time off to think which is good. Haven't really got chatting to anyone, feels a bit weird explaining things, roommate ok, Bolian so.. yeah ok. BTW guess who came in on the Klingon delegate ship? Bloody Miral Paris, and of course she had to offer me her condolences, and then look at my work and point out everything she thought was wrong with it, which gave her obvious glee, she's such a bitch. I know, I shouldn't let her get to me. Can you come and visit sometime? Seven comes by when she's in the area but she still won't let me on the Essex. I just need something more, I hate feeling so powerless, I'm just drifting....

Reply from EARTH. From Niamh Janeway. To Charlotte Janeway.

MEDIA - Daffodil and Cat

TEXT: I found this pic and thought of you ha! Yeah I'm ok, I've got a job in a coffee shop, it's nice to feel a bit anonymous, people keep asking me if I had a psychic connection with Amal, if I knew what happened. Which is crap because first - who believes that shit and second and I that crap at being a twin that the one thing I'm supposed to do I can't? Anyway Dad's been really good, we've been spending time together, which is good because Mom's kind of MIA . The Miral thing's not a big deal, don't give her the headspace. Yes I can visit - let me know when you're free?

Incoming message from IKS Kuyhala. From Miral Paris. To Thomas Paris.

TEXT ONLY NO MEDIA FILE - Hi Dad, hope you had a good weekend, did Mom like her anniversary present? You got the gold like I said right? This week's been ok, we stopped by DS9 for a few days, ran into Lottie J, she's honestly the most self important person I've ever met. Seriously she just steam rolls her way over everyone, can't wait to tell you how clever she is. Can you imagine if we had grown up together on Voyager in the Delta? The number one reason I'm glad we got home! Anyway I gave her my condolences, so awful what happened with her brother, irrespective of how obnoxious she is. Do they know what happened?

Reply from EARTH. From Thomas Paris. To Miral Paris.

AUDIO FILE "Hi honey, yes of course I got the gold! She loved it which is lucky for me haha. She actually wrote me some new codes for my next holonovel -she knows me well your mother! Just keep away from LJ when you can, it's just a personality clash, I know how close our families are probably hasn't helped with that. She's ok, it's a lot to deal with, having Kathryn Janeway as your mom, I know exactly how she feels, I was much worse as I'm sure Grandpa will be happy to explain. No it's not really clear what happened, I would stay away from anything you hear about that if I were you. Hope to see you soon honey, I'm seeing Uncle Chakotay at the weekend, I'll give him your love. Call me when you can."

****

Aboard the Essex

"Red Alert, all hands on deck" the ship shook from another hit "shields to 40%" called the Lieutenant. Seven looked around her for the Captain but though the smoke could barely make out the unconscious bodies on the floor. The ship that attacked them seemed to be smuggling stolen weapons and technology. The Ferengi captain had incorrectly assumed the Essex had come to apprehend them and had opened fire, using phasers calibrated in a way Seven hadn't seen before. "re-route power to the shield modulator" Seven called, she stumbled over to the Captain's ready room and forced the door. Abioye was slumped over his desk, breathing but unconscious. Seven opened his desk drawer to see if he had a first aid kit, she noticed his laptop was open, he seemed to have been reincrypting messages. They had all been sent but the receiving co-ordinates made no sense. Abioye groaned and Seven found a first aid hypo. The sirens stopped and the Lt Commander announced the enemy ship had been tractored. "Captain, I suggest you go to the doctor, before resuming your work. I assume it was not so pressing you can leave it for a minute? I'll close the laptop now"

"it's fine" Abioye growled as he raced to close it first. "it's just messages from Command I need to forwrd, not mission related"

"So it seems" Seven lifted an eyebrow.

****

24 years earlier....

Captain Janeway answered the chime to her quarters. "Captain I must speak with you" Seven burst in "I must apologise for today's events. I would never have suspected you of helping the Cardassians, intentionally stranding Voyager had I been performing at my optimal...my apologies, you are in your undergarments". Kathryn raised a hand "Seven, first - it's just my nightie, and more importantly - you don't need to apologise, you were tired and overwhelmed, now you're better. After all, I was completely in charge of my faculties and I believed you without question. It's me who made an error, please don't worry".

"Yes it is surprising that you didn't doubt my claims, I thought you and the Commander would have suspected me instead of each other"

"well, it's .. complicated. We've learned our lesson I can assure you, and if you're wondering I still do trust you, unendingly, maybe more so after today. Now please get some rest, you'll need it after what you've been through"

"Very well" Seven said, leaving without waiting to be dismissed. Then the door chimed again

"Honestly Seven, I'll take you off your shift tomorrow if you don't rest" Kathryn said as she opened the door to be met face to face with a very sheepish Chakotay.

"I see you've had a visitor too" he said "I feel so bad about what happened. I did, do, trust you with my life. My reaction surprised me"

"After everything that's happened you still harbour some resentment don't you?" Kathryn whispered looking into his eyes

"Maybe it's more because of everything that has happened. But do you trust me? I am in charge of your safety after all" he retorted.

"I really do" she whispered as he ran his hand over her hip. "Chakotay, we shouldn't do this, where is it getting us?" he replied "do you trust me" she looked into his eyes as his hands undid her dressing gown and pushed the straps from her nightie. "With my life" she whispered as he pushed her to the bedroom. Once inside he roughly pushed her against the wall and knelt between her legs, pulled her underwear down, hooking one leg over her shoulder and licking her fast and hard until she felt herself close to the edge. With one movement her span her round to face the mirror on her dressing table and entered her from behind, one hand gripping her neck. "I could break your neck in one second Captain, today you believed I was working against you and yet here you are offering me my chance. Do you know how messed up that is? Do you know I understand the thrill you get from walking up to the precipice? One day you'll make me snap you know" he whispered as he plunged in and out of her, Kathryn felt the thrill of possible death building up inside her as he gave her throat one final squeeze before he released her. She came crying and yelling his name, when she felt herself coming down she span to face him and kiss him deeply. "I love you, I love you I love you" she wept. A tear rolled down Chakotay's cheek as he whispered "always and forever" before he zipped himself up and left before he asked more of her than she could give. Kathryn sank to the bed and fell into a slumber.

*****

Present day

The restaurant was crowded, the Ferengi Maître D' tutted as he looked over his list of reservations. "Paris, Paris, sorry I've got a Partridge or a P'tak" he smirked as he looked at Chakotay. Chakotay sighed, rolled his eyes and pressed the latinum coin into the Ferengi's hand "ah Thomas Paris, how could I have missed it, here this way". Chakotay huffed as he slid into the booth and sipped the whisky Tom proffered him. "Seriously Tom, I don't know why you get a thrill out of being fleeced." The man opposite him smiled, his hair had greyed over the years but his eyes hadn't lost their mischievous twinkle. "It's the authentic experience, c'mon it's a bit of excitement. Plus B'Elanna refuses to come with me, apparently retro diners were as far as she was willing to push it. Surely you've had enough of the stuffy fine dining Starfleet pushes on its Admirals, I reckon Kathryn would secretly like it here".

"I don't know what Kathryn would like anymore to be honest. She's freezing me out and starting down a path I don't know I can follow. She needs a crusade, I don't think I really understood that in the Delta, all that time I thought she would be different when we got home. Then we had the kids so quickly we were focused on that and as they got older I thought there would be time to spend together. But she was back at work acting like she's Commander in Chief, and now she's chasing Amal's ghost. I was always waiting to get to know the relaxed off duty Kathryn, and now I feel like she doesn't exist".

"I'm sorry Chakotay, I really am. She does love you, in her own way. I worried about that too with B'Elel, after living on edge all those years would we still have the connection in the ordinary life in the Alpha".

"But you did Tom" Chakotay cracked a smile "I'm really happy for B'Elel, that she's found a peaceful existence with you. Peaceful isn't really a word I thought I would use about her but it's very accurate."

"It is, wish I could use the same about our daughters though" Tom groaned.

"Oh yes I heard it all from Niamh" Chakotay chuckled "two headstrong women, well three if you count Niamh although I think she's mostly siding with Lottie. I seem to remember our wives having a similar clash that was only resolved after a broken nose".

"The next one will be either yours or mine, drink your whisky - it will numb the pain you never know when a fist will fly with those two" Tom laughed.

*****

Somewhere in deep space

The Away Team beamed down to the surface. Their scanners had sent back scrambled responses, many life signs yet none, vast cities yet nothing to be seen. Kathryn looked around her at the desolate landscape. Her Tricorder too seemed to bounce off of something invisible, she wondered if it was artificial or maybe to do with the magnetic polarisation of the planet. She walked around the crater they had materialised in, searching behind the rocky outcrops until she notice an odd shaped hole in the wall. "Team, over here, it looks like an entrance", she paced closer to it. Upon inspection it was some sort of entrance, she waved her tricorder into the mouth of the opening only to hit a force field. "ouch! Well I guess we have found the mystery city, now how to we get in" she mused. She called but found no response, she wondered if she could reconfigure the wavelengths of the greeting message, with a few taps she saw her message pass through the field. "Well now we wait" she whispered.

A short while later the Away Team heard some noises from the tunnel, out came a group of women with large eyes, seemingly accustomed to seeing in the dark. They eyed her suspiciously "what have you come back for?" their leader asked.

Against Tuvok's advice Kathryn found herself and her team around a conference table deep in the labyrinth. The aliens didn't seem to be hostile but seemed wary of them. "our planets are spread across the sector, the tunnels are formed when a planet gets too close to the magnetic field of the unstable star. Inhospitable to you but our race finds them ideal. The aliens like you, the other visitors, kept getting lost, even with our maps".

"When were they here" Kathryn breathed.

"Let me calculate so I can use your terminology, hmm about two months" the leader, Spontk stated.

Kathryn took hold of a nearby Padd and selected 'Draw' Mode. "Did any of them have a marking on their face, like this?" she asked as she drew the familiar pattern, one she had traced with her finger many times.

"Yes" Spontk affirmed. "They didn't have anything to trade but were gathering information. They seemed to be a task force gathering information, but not about us, about their own kind. Apparently they did not trust those in charge".

"Amal" Kathryn whispered "what did you do?"

Flashback - two months prior

The air in the caves was thin. Or was it his lungs tightening? Amal laid down to rest, shadows danced on the walls of the tunnel from his torch. The flicker of the shadows looked like wings, Amal smiled as he remembered a story his mother had told him. From a German folk tale about a knight who travelled by boat to help a princess in distress. He had looked up a picture of the famous castle where it was set, another thing he would visit when he got home. Home, his mother would find him. She often told him a Captain never abandons a member of her crew. And she had led their little crew of six unwaveringly through life so far. Yes just a few more minutes before she came, he would just rest a little whilst he waited, he closed his eyes and felt the swaying of the boat beneath him as the beast in front pulled him through the rivers of the Alps.

[quotes121sworld]

Jamie Oliver reveals the reason he renewed his vows with wife Jools

Jamie Oliver has revealed he and his wife Jools have decided to renew their wedding vows to show their kids they are stronger than ever.Speaking for the first time about the surprise wedding, the 47-year-old chef explained that he and Jools were originally planning to renew their vows on their 20th anniversary before Covid halted their plans.He added that he wanted to reassure them that their relationship "is still close" as their children are leaving school and going to university."I wanted to do it for the 20th anniversary, Covid put an end to that so I thought with the kids leaving school and going to university I have two in Leeds at uni I thought it would be one lovely moment to let her know her parents are tense, we love her," Jamie said on Thursday's BBC Breakfast."I know it sounds like some people are into it and some aren't, but I have to say the vows are a lot better the second time around.

Sweet: Jamie Oliver has revealed that he and his wife Jools have decided to renew their vows to show their kids they are stronger than ever

Sweet: The chef explained that he wanted to reassure them that his relationship with Jools is "still close" as their children leave school and go to university."You feel like you deserve what you mean. All they are you have felt, good, bad and ugly. For me with a big family it felt good.”Jamie also revealed that his vow renewal suit was a modernized version of his original wedding outfit, but this time without his eye-catching croc slippers. He and Jools, who have been together since they were 18, share five children including Poppy Honey, 20, Daisy Boo, 19, Petal Blossom, 13, Buddy Bear, 11, and River Rocket, five. The star took to Instagram on Monday to share a collection of snaps from her surprise vow renewal.The celebrity chef shared an intimate carousel of family photos on Instagram after saying "yes" for the second time at the Soneva Fushi Resort.Jools, 48, looked elegant in a strapless wedding dress with ruffles and a thigh-high slit.Unlike her husband Jamie, her bridal look had a different design from her original dress, which was an elegant ivory silk slip.Her brunette tresses were styled straight with a white bow holding her hair in place while she accessorised with pearl earrings.

Touching: Speaking on Thursday's BBC Breakfast, Jamie said he and Jools had originally planned to renew their vows on their 20th anniversary before Covid halted their plans

Loving couple: Jamie also revealed that his vow renewal suit was a modernized version of his original wedding outfit, but this time without his eye-catching croc slippers

Cute! Jamie revealed his son Buddy (right) acted as best man at the ceremony

Family: The couple share children River Rocket and (left to right) Daisy Boo Pamela, Petal Blossom Rainbow, Buddy Bear Maurice and Poppy Honey Rosie (pictured in 2016)

First time: Jamie and Jools originally tied the knot in Essex in 2000Alongside the photos, Jamie wrote: "Tomorrow together me and @joolsoliver got married again! Yes, after 23 years together we thought it would be a special moment to celebrate our vows renewal before the kids all leave the nest. "It was really special, fun and romantic, and the words in the ceremony made more sense after coming together so far. "It seems like a blink of an eye since the first wedding which we have kept very secret apart from the paparazzi at the village church which we thought would be a happy and joyful moment to share with you all this Easter. “We have always dreamed of going to the Maldives and it was exactly what you dreamed it would be, just amazing! A big thank you to the whole team at @discoversoneva for blowing our minds and making this moment so special and unforgettable, love guys Jamie x.Jamie later shared more snaps from the ceremony on his Instagram Stories, including a selfie with his wife and daughters, which he captioned "My Queens."He also posted a photo with his two sons, Buddy and River, where he revealed his eldest son had acted as best man.Jools also shared her own selection of snaps on her social media, writing: “So wonderful the first time we did it again. What an incredible memory that is so happy, emotional, romantic and beautiful. Seeing the little faces of the kids made the whole experience so special. I could only have dreamed of being on this magical vacation. Thanks very much. Discover Soneva."Your care, attention to detail and incredible kindness made everything so special it almost feels like a dream xxxJools and Jamie began dating as teenagers and were married on 24 June 2000 in the chef's home village of Rickling, Essex. Speaking about renewing her vows in 2019, Jools said: "Next year we will be married 20 years and we will marry again but do things differently - outside and barefoot.Chef Jamie, who hails from Essex, reportedly has a net worth in excess of £240million. Read the full article

[seaglassandeelgrass]

On this day, 20 November, 1820; 200 years ago in the South Pacific the ill-fated Nantucket whaleship Essex was rammed and sunk by a sperm whale. (thus beginning this classic and harrowing tale of shipwreck & survival cannibalism)

[eurimoon]

Giving Up Your Ghost (Suresh x MC)

I’m disappointed (to say the least) with LITG 5 so I did my first ever fic to help me cope lol. English is not my first language, so bear with me. This is a Suresh x MC fic I based off of NIKI's song, Oceans and Engines. A headcanon of what really happened before and after Suresh shattered his 5 year relationship with Euna (MC) before the villa.

The details are not all based on the events revealed during LITG 5. And I recommend listening to the song while you're reading if you're comfortable with it.

This is also posted on wattpad if you’d like to read it with the part titles here!

Giving Up Your Ghost (8k+ words)

The sun is shining bright and I feel restless. I'm a few hours away from my trip to Essex.

I'm finally going to see you again Suresh..

Seeing him only behind a screen for 6 months has been the hardest. I've been drowning myself with singing gigs and keeping myself busy from all the time he's away to distract myself. I have to admit that this tested our relationship. Suresh is never chill and would always find a way for adventure, while I'm always on my comfort zone, never leaving Edinburgh. He never forced me to get out of it, but sometimes I just wish he did. Now that this is the longest time we've been apart, it would have been easier if I tried to show him a different side of me.

We were always opposites, but that's when I know that we click together. While I wasn't always his first, he was my first in everything. And I really hope he's my last.

I really hope he's happy to see me tomorrow..

Who am I kidding? Of course he's going to be happy! We've been away from each other for so long, I know he misses me. And this is the perfect surprise for our anniversary.

I fixed my faded pink dyed hair into a half bun. I can see the overgrown roots peeking on my head. I haven't bleached and recolored my hair for so long ever since he left. I can see small bags under my eyes, and I obviously look a little messed up. I haven't really slept well for the last few days before this trip. My head has been full of questions if I should do it.

I looked at the little red velvety box beside my purse. My heart thumped hard and I'm actually really nervous.

Am I really gonna propose?

I flicked my forehead to wake me up from my senses. Why am I even doubting this? I'm definitely sure. I love Suresh, and I know he loves me. We've been together for 5 years, but we don't need to get married right away. I just want to let him know that I'm willing to do this. No big gestures. I will do it once we're alone, so he won't feel pressured to answer. I know it's not the most conventional, but I couldn't care less.

I breathed deeply and hid the box inside my purse. My bag is now packed and I'm ready to go. I called a cab and rushed to the train station. It's going to be at least a 5 hour ride, and I will arrive before midnight. And since it's a Saturday night, Suresh will be home expecting me to call him at the exact hour I'll knock on his door. It's the perfect surprise.

Me, I'm the surprise.

I don't know why my hands are shaking and my heart is beating so fast once I got inside the train. I'm fucking nervous. Why am I so nervous? Is this because I haven't seen him for so long, and it wouldn't be the same when we see each other again? I really hope this is just agitation and I'm just excited to see him.

I sat on the most secluded area and nearest to the window. It's a cold November night, but I'm too distracted with my thoughts to even notice it. I brought a book and read for a few minutes, but I eventually closed it.

All I can think about is Suresh.

He hasn't contacted me since last night. I know he's out with his co-workers and I don't usually bother him too much when he does. I didn't even bother messaging him today since well.. I'm surprising him in a few hours. We shared each other's location every time he went away since he also insisted and wanted to know if I'm safe and he'll get notified if I'm in trouble. We were comfortable in that set up because I know he's looking out for me, and he wanted to let me know that I can trust him. I rarely check his location, but since he didn't contact me last night, I checked it and he went to a pub for a while then arrived home at around 2AM.

I left him a message this morning asking how he is, but hasn't replied yet. I turned my GPS off before I left my flat. I didn't want him knowing I was coming for the surprise. But him not messaging me yet since this morning honestly got me a bit anxious. He'd usually let me know once he got up, but I figured he had a hangover and was still asleep.

I trust him, it was his day off after all. He's been like that every friday nights. Then he'll for sure stay for the rest of the weekend at home and spend time talking to me. There were times when he called me while he was drinking with his friends, and he always sounded really happy.

I just hope he's not too happy without me.

No. Here I go again. I'm not gonna doubt Suresh. I trust him.

My head's all over the place, I'm really nervous. I didn't realize how exhausted I was. I closed my eyes and fell asleep right away.

----

"Do you really have to go? Please just stay." I pleaded and held Suresh's hand tighter from our cuddle, raising my head from his chest to look at him. My doe eyes not leaving his beautiful face.

I let go of his hand and traced delicate lines along his thick brows then brushed his hair backwards. I wanted to convince him to stay.

"You know I can't do that, Euna." he left a small peck on my nose, "I have important matters to fix with a big case. I already asked you if you wanted to come. You told me you didn't want to leave Edinburgh. Are you changing your mind now?"

He chuckled and looked at me affectionately, holding my cheeks then brushing his fingers down to my chin to fix my head. We've lived together for 2 years, but the difficult part was his constant travels. It never lasted for months. He'd always come back after a few days, but not this time. This will be the longest time we'll be away from each other.

He kissed my forehead this time and I felt that area burn. I'm blushing really hard. He knows how I absolutely love it when he does that.

I pouted, almost teary eyed. I hugged him tight and buried my face on the side of his neck.

"I'm gonna miss you." I whispered, feeling my hot breath and the vibration from my voice on his skin. He hugged me tighter, holding my waist and I can hear him chuckle again.

"Me too, princess. Me too." he reached for my temple and gave it a soft kiss. There he goes again, calling me princess. I never understood why, but it's growing in on me. He's the only person allowed to call me that.

I'll always be his princess.

"Promise me you won't forget me?" I asked.

"Why would that even cross my mind?" he sounded as if it was the most disgusting thing he has ever heard.

"So you promise?" I asked again.

Good god I sound like a child. But I'm not ashamed, this is how comfortable I am with him. I never feel ashamed acting all so silly around him.

He rolled his eyes playfully and grinned.

"Yes princess, I promise."

I don't know what came to me. I moved away from burying my face on his neck and back to looking at him.

"I love you so much, Suresh."

He smiled softly, grabbing my chin and pulling it towards his lips. He kissed me passionately like it was our last, taking in a few sharp breaths while his lips moved slowly, savoring every bit of my being.

His other hand travelled down my waist, and I can literally feel my heart jump. I put my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to kiss him harder and I heard him moan. His stubble slightly scratching the sides of my mouth.

God, I love him so much. I never want to let him go.

When we pulled back, we were both breathless. I didn't want it to end just yet.

"I love you too, my Euna." he rested his forehead on mine, the tips of our nose brushing each other. We stayed like that for a while, never wanting to let go of the moment.

"As much as I really want to stay, I need to pack my bags." he mumbled. He can sense my disappointment, but I eventually let him go. He kissed my forehead one last time before getting up.

---

When I woke up, I was two stops away to Essex. I was that tired. My head hurts from the way I slept, and I was leaning on the window and I can feel how much colder it would get once I get out. I wore my trench coat and waited.

I don't know why, but I suddenly took the engagement ring from my purse. I opened the box and looked at the ring. The silver metal shines brightly from its reflection against the lights.

I'm actually doing this. I really am.

I closed the box and tucked it inside my coat pocket. There's no turning back now.

When I arrived, I took a cab and went straight to his flat. It was an extremely cold night, and I can literally see my breath in white smoke.

I don't know if it's because of my cold hands, but I'm starting to shake again. I rubbed my palms against each other to warm myself up, hoping that it will ease the tension building up inside me.

Why am I so nervous? It's just Suresh! I'm sure he'll be happy to see me.

I paid for the ride and took my bag. This is it. I'm finally seeing him. I instinctively put my hands inside my coat pocket not realizing I was rubbing my fingers against the velvet box. I'm fucking nervous but ecstatic. I knew I was also excited to see him.

I took the elevator and searched for his flat. I was slightly afraid that I might knock on the wrong door, but once I found it, I stopped. This is what Suresh sent me just in case anything happens. Surely this is the right place?

I breathed deeply, and pushed myself to knock on the door.

No answer.

I knocked once more.

No answer.

He's home right? I know he is.

I was about to knock again when someone opened the door. The tension building up inside me suddenly flared up.

It was not Suresh.

"Yes?"

A girl opened the door. She had long ginger hair, it looked a bit messy and she sounded quite irritated. Like I disturbed her from doing something. She was also heavily tattooed on her left arm.

I knocked on the wrong door?

"Sorry. I think I mistook this for a different.. flat."

I was about to leave until I saw it. She was wearing Suresh's shirt.

My heart sank. My hands are shaking again and I can feel my heart thumping louder. This must just be a different shirt? It's not really a special shirt and anyone could own one. I just knocked on the wrong place.

This must be a mistake.. right?

I heard someone come up behind her. The footsteps getting louder and louder. My heart sank and I feel the need to throw up.

"I told you I'll get it!" he stopped and stared at me. I can see the blood draining from his face. He looked like he was rushing to catch up but the girl got to the door before him.

I was not expecting that reaction.

At the back of my mind, I wanted to believe that this is just his cousin that I never met and he's letting her stay for the night.

"Euna.."

I instinctively bit my lower lip. It was him. My Suresh. He was half naked and wearing a pair of boxers. There was a lump on my throat and I didn't have the guts to talk. I was just staring at him, then at the girl. Like me, she was looking at the both of us back and forth and was completely clueless. My hands were numb and I didn't even realize that my bag fell on the floor. I bit my lower lip harder to stop myself from trembling and breaking down.

"You know her?" the girl asked, her brows furrowed. Suresh's focus was all on me now. He looked scared, even guilty. That's not the look I wanted him to show me.

"Euna.. I can explain."

That was my cue. I know that phrase. I don't like confrontations, I'm almost always the first person to leave and keep quiet. I'm not listening to any explanation. With the way he reacted and from what I saw, I think it's completely clear to me what happened.

I rushed and grabbed my bag on the floor and sprinted. Tears were welling up in my eye and my vision was blurry. Is this even real? Maybe I'm still asleep on the train and this is all just a nightmare? I was so excited to see him. I wasn't expecting for this to happen tonight. I don't even know where I'm gonna stay. I did not book a hotel since I know for sure that I was staying with him while I'm here. Somehow, I was grateful that I didn't let him know I was coming.

What the fuck just happened?

I pressed the elevator button, but I felt him grab the arm where I was holding my bag.

"Euna, wait!"

SLAP!

My free hand met his cheek in one swift motion. I can hear the echo of the sound through the halls. It was hard, and my palm hurt from doing it. Tears were already flowing on my cheek and I looked at him. He was in complete shock of what I did to say the least, holding the cheek I just slapped. I am not even the type of person who'd do it, but at the moment, I knew it was the right thing to do.

"I'm not listening to any of your bullshit." I mumbled. My shock slowly turned into anger. I feel numb all over. A small part of me still wanted to hear an explanation from him despite what I said. I want him to feel regret, to feel guilty for what he did. I want him to beg and ask me to take him back. But you know what I got?

"It all happened so fast.. This was just a one time thing."

"Oh, just a one time thing?" I sarcastically laughed, "Are you fucking kidding me?!" I screamed. My voice broke in between and I know every single room heard it through the halls, but I was too angry to even care.

"Please just let me explain." he pleaded. I pulled my arm from his grip and shook my head. I was crying so hard and my chest was heavy. It hurts so much seeing him and hearing those words from him. He admitted it and he didn't even apologize.

"Forget it, Suresh." I wiped the tears away from my cheek. When I lowered my hand, I felt the engagement ring box under my coat. Now my heart just shattered even more.

"See, this is your problem!" he screamed. I was taken aback with what he said.

"My problem? My problem? Are you fucking kidding me?" He sighed, and he clearly regretted what he said.

"I'm sorry, but I just hate that you always run away, Euna. Every time we argue, you always leave and you never try and fix it together with me."

"So you try and ruin it more by cheating on me??" I scoffed. "And now you're spinning it around and blaming it everything on me. Great. How would you suggest fixing this then?"

"I was just.. That's not what I--"

"It was rhetorical Suresh, just shut up. What you did was clear as day. I'm not dumb."

I can't help the convulsive gasps I was letting out. I was sobbing really hard, and my vision was blurring out again. I tried to wipe the tears welling up in my eye. Suresh can't even look at me anymore.

I heard the elevator door open.

"Oh and by the way," I added. I looked into his guilty eyes I almost thought he'd avoid it. But he waited for what I was about to say.

"Happy anniversary," I choked. It hurts so much to say it. "Don't worry, this is our last."

I rushed outside and got a cab before Suresh even had a chance to catch up. I'm still sobbing from what happened and I can see the driver glancing at me every now and then. He looked genuinely worried.

"Can you bring me to the farthest pub please?" my voice broke once again asking him. He just nodded and started to drive away.

5 years. 5 years down the fucking drain. I can't think straight, I'm not even sure where I'm going. I feel so vulnerable now, but I'm going to trust wherever he's taking me. I don't think this pain would ever subside tonight. I don't know what to do. Going to a pub and drinking this out was the most logical thing I thought I'd do.

I checked the earliest train trips available tomorrow and it won't be until 6am. I might have to wait for a few hours or go to the train station as early as I can so that I can leave this shithole as soon as possible.

"Do you need some tissue love?" he asked me with a thick Scottish accent and looked through the rearview mirror. He looked very old, but still strong enough to drive around. I can see my dear sweet grandpa in him especially with the accent. He didn't wait for my answer and just gave me the few tissues he got from the box beside his seat.

"Thank you.." I whispered and took it, then went back to looking outside the window. My mind was blank and I'm still processing everything. My head hurts so much from crying.

I felt my phone vibrate from my pocket. I checked it.

It's Suresh.

The pain I felt earlier flared up again. It hurts to see his name on my screen when I used to be excited from it. The picture he had on my contacts was the both of us. Him holding the phone while I hugged him from the side and kissed him on his cheek. We looked so happy together.. we were happy together. How did this even happen? Was I not enough? Should I have just risked everything for him and went with him here when he asked me? Did he even remember our anniversary?

When I left those words before I got inside the elevator, he was dumbfounded. I know he wasn't expecting for me to break up with him then and there. He wanted to reach me, but he also knew I wouldn't let him. When I felt the box in my pocket, I really wanted to throw it in front of him, show him what he missed. But I didn't want to give him that satisfaction. Knowing him, it would've been easier for him to ask forgiveness and tell me that "he would've said yes if I just asked" and everything's just suddenly okay. No, I'm smarter than that. I don't want to make him feel guilty because I was planning to risk everything and marry him, I wanted him to genuinely feel guilty for what he did.

I've seen how cheating can ruin a relationship, I've seen it first hand with my mum and dad. Hell, he knew. He was there for me when my parents were going through their divorce. He stayed with me in my lowest. He was there for me when I was struggling with my music career, and he was also there when I finally got my momentum. We shared so much and it hurts that he just took everything away with "just a one time thing".

I don't even know what I'll do once I go back. We lived together. But the lease was on my name since it was originally my place. We practically lived like we were married and I sensed that he was ready to do it. But my senses were completely wrong tonight.

I know tonight is not the last time Suresh and I will see each other. Half of the things in our flat was his. How in the fuck will I get it out? Should I just throw his clothes outside like what happens in those telenovelas I watched when I was twelve when the husband cheats on his wife? Oh that would be therapeutic.

"We're here, dear." I looked up when the cab driver spoke. He was still looking at me through the rearview mirror and smiled at me sympathetically. I didn't even realize I was just staring at the 3 missed calls Suresh left me during the drive. I can't believe it's almost midnight.

"This is not the farthest, but it's enough to keep you safe." the cab driver added. "You're alone, so please take care of yourself love. I hope everything will be okay soon."

I trembled right away. I finally let go of the tears I was holding. He really resembled my grandpa so much. I feel so lucky I was in safe hands.

"Thank you. Please stay safe too." I almost whispered. I took my bag, gave him a huge tip and left.

I felt my phone vibrate again when I went inside the pub. It was still Suresh. I can feel my heart drop every time I see it. I breathed deeply and turned it off hoping it will block all the thoughts that's pushing me to cry again.

The pub was not that busy. There were only a few people sitting near the tables and groups hanging out. I can hear faint laughter on the other side of the pub. I sat on the stool near the bar and the bartender with thick brown curls smiled at me immediately. Her visible freckles seem to glisten when she faced me. She noticed my puffy eyes and her expression started to look worried.

I can sense a faint savory smell of spices. That's when I realized I haven't eaten anything ever since leaving Edinburgh. I was too busy getting anxious, and this is were it got me. I wasn't hungry, but I didn't want to drink with an empty stomach and go back home drunk. I'm not even sure why I went here, I just assumed this would be the perfect place to gather my thoughts.

"Can I just have a bottle of ginger beer please?" I asked the bartender.

"Sure thing love." she smiled, opened a bottle and gave it to me. She left me alone and went inside the kitchen.

After a few minutes, she got back with a fresh plate of chips and gave it to me. I looked at her confused.

"But I didn't order anything?"

"On the house, love. You look exhausted." she looked genuinely worried and patted my arm.

"That's an understatement." I chuckled.

"I don't mean to pry but.." she sighed. "if you need to talk to someone, your bartender is the right choice."

First, the cab driver, now my bartender? Is this the universe's way of making it up to me? I must look really awful.

"My name's Ramona by the way, at your service!" she cheerfully held her hand and I shook it.

"Euna. Nice to meet you."

She winked but didn't push me further and continued working, wiping the table with a white cloth when the person three seats next to me left. I played with the droplets of water dripping on the sides of my drink.

She's a complete stranger, and I'm not planning on coming back here anyways. I sighed one more time.

"My long term boyfriend cheated on me just an hour ago..."I blurted it out without thinking, it almost felt natural. She suddenly looked up and her mouth dropped.

"Oh dear, how long?"

I told her a few bits and pieces, from my trip until the part where I caught him. It really helped that I had someone to talk to, otherwise I would've just bawled my eyes out crying in some corner in this pub. It was too therapeutic to the point that I didn't hesitate and grabbed the engagement ring from my pocket.

"And you know what's worse?" I scoffed and put the box on the counter. Her eyes widened and she backed away, clearly not believing what she's seeing. She let out a loud and exaggerated "NO" but I nodded. The other customers gave us a side eye.

"Oh for fuck's sake man! What an arse!" she threw the white cloth she was holding on the counter. She looked really angry, but went closer to me and asked if she can open the box. When I nodded, she opened it and her eyes widened even more like it wasn't wide already from all the things I've told her.

"You better have the receipt for this love, or I'll push this down his throat and let him swallow it myself."

I laughed at her words, but I took the box back and hid it again in my pocket. Sure, I had the guts to actually plan this, but I was still ashamed of what happened. I look so pathetic. I don't even know why I feel that way, when it should be the other way around.

Ramona noticed my reaction and I heard her sigh.

"Screw him love. Once you go back home, throw his things away and burn it. That's the least of the things he deserves. Cheaters are the worse, and you better not forgive him and take him back. You deserve better."

Her words were like ice cold water dumped on my head. I might be angry right now, but I'm not really sure how I'd feel once I see him again. Suresh was caring, and for the past 5 years, he really proved to me that I was his princess. Never once did he treat me differently when we had fights and was the first person to always apologize even when I was at fault. Now he tried to spin the situation around and blame his cheating on me for always avoiding fights. Was I really at fault? Did I push him to cheat? Was I really not working harder than him, so now he tried to fill that void with someone else?

He took care of me at my lowest, and celebrated with me at my highest. Was it all just a lie? Were my intuitions true and was I right to feel nervous before I got here? Was I wrong for trusting him? Is this all really my fault?

I had so many questions, but I didn't want any answers. I wasn't ready to hear any of it.

Ramona and I talked for hours. We'd talk about Suresh from time to time but also talked about random things while she worked. She was very sweet and was genuinely interested in everything. I had so much fun talking to her that I didn't realize it was already 4:30 and I needed to go to the train station. My head hurts, and once I got inside the cab Ramona got for me, all the thoughts I tried suppressing came back.

I'm crying again.

I was squeezing the engagement box. I wanted to throw it, I'm so fucking stupid. Why did I even plan this?

For the next few hours on the train, I tried my best to rest my eyes. My body was aching and I just want to go home. I don't know what will happen for the next few days, but all I know is that it's not going to be easy.

I tried turning my phone on once I got out of the train and it vibrated continuously with all the messages from Suresh.

-Euna please pick up. I'm sorry.

-Where are you? I'm worried. Please call me back.

-Princess? Please, I need to talk to you.

Princess. My heart ached. All the butterflies I used to have when he called me that turned into painful jabs on my chest. My heart dropped when I read his next message.

-I'm driving back to Edinburgh now. I'll meet you back home. I love you.

He's here?? I checked the time he sent the message. 12AM. He started driving when I was still at the pub. That would have been a long drive.

"I love you.." I whispered and read his last words. Somehow I doubted it, because if he really did, he wouldn't have cheated on me in the first place.

The idea that Suresh arrived just a few hours ago made me nervous. Is he waiting for me at our flat right now? What the fuck should I do? He clearly knew what to do. This is the only way he could force me to talk to him.

I was dreading it, my flight response slowed me down and I didn't want to go home. I know he's waiting there. But I know I had no choice and I have to face him. My hands were trembling and my legs were shaking.

Then I saw him. He was waiting for me outside the door, squeezing himself between the wall and his legs. He didn't bring his spare key?

He's hiding his face on his lap and was resting his head. When he heard my footsteps, his head immediately jerked up and stood up.

"Princess, you're home. I'm glad you're safe." he smiled affectionately, but his face fell with the next words I blurted out.

"Don't call me princess."

I opened the door with my keys and I went in first. He followed and closed the door. I put my bag down near the closet, but he gently grabbed my wrist and turned me so I'm facing him.

He was crying.

My heart ached seeing him like that. Despite the things that happened last night, I still love him. I know I do. This is what I feared once I needed to face him again, that I might forgive him and just forget everything because I loved him too much and I can't afford to lose him.

"Princess, please. I'm sorry.." his tears gave up and went down his cheeks. I can't look at him like this. I badly wanted to wipe those tears and just kiss it away. I avoided his eyes and tried my hardest to stop myself from crying, but all it did was to force my lip to tremble.

He took both of my hands and kissed the back of my palm. He closed his eyes and it left my hand wet with his tears. I took my hands back and avoided his gaze.

"You need to fix your things now and leave. I'm giving you two days to move out." I told him coldly. It was getting harder and harder to resist him. I needed him to leave before I take everything back.

To my surprise, he knelt in front of me and took my hands again. He looked up at me pleading.

"Euna, please don't do this. I don't want to lose you. Let's fix this." he grabbed my waist and hugged me. His head was now leaning against my stomach. It was really an odd feeling, since he was really tall and he's usually the one looking down on me. I can feel his hug getting tighter and tighter as if he didn't want to let me go. I wanted to hug him back, but I forced myself to remove his strong arms to let me go.

He got up, but he grabbed both of the sides of my jaw and forced me to look at him. His eyes were red, and he clearly didn't sleep from driving. At that point, I really felt bad for him. He didn't drive all the way from Essex just to end up getting kicked out.

"Look at me and tell me you don't love me anymore."

I do, I still love him. His deep green eyes stared right back at me and I can't help it. I wanted to tell him I still love him and I'm taking him back, but I fought the urge to even think about it. His hands were warm against my jaw and we were so close. At first, he waited for me to answer, but he eventually rested his forehead on mine.

"I love you, princess. I can't lose you like this."

He opened his eyes and he immediately looked at my lips. I knew what was about to happen.

He kissed me, slow and gentle. I badly wanted it to stop. I should feel the butterflies in my stomach now, but my heart hurts so much that I can't help but cry. His lips moved and he kissed me passionately, but the saltiness from my tears went through between our kiss and it woke me up from my senses. I pushed him away.

"No.. this is not right." I whispered. He was shocked, and I heard him sigh. "You need to leave."

"Are you really just going to throw away all we've been through with this one mistake?" he said, trembling.

I was shocked with his question. It shouldn't even be a question at this point.

"I didn't throw this away, Suresh." I paused. "..you did."

He avoided my eyes once I said it. He knew what I meant.

There was no turning back and my decision was final. He knew there was no point in convincing me.

2 years later..

"That was a great set, Euna!" my manager gave a high five once I left the stage. He was mumbling a lot of other things about my next gig and a possible big project from a recording company but I wasn't really paying attention.

"Sorry Harry, can we talk about this tomorrow? I'm really tired." I said.

He was slightly disappointed, but he understood. Besides, I needed to meet a friend at a pub tonight. It's been a long time since I spent the night chilling without me being the person on the stage, singing. Tonight, I wanted to relax.

I'm not sure why I felt down and slightly irritated, maybe I'm just really tired, or because I'm in Essex right now and it reminded me of that night 2 years ago. I can't believe it's been that long. I've spent the past 2 years focusing on my career and really didn't find the time to see other people. I wanted to focus on myself and help myself heal.

I haven't heard from Suresh since the day he moved his last stuff from our flat. We ended everything and it was quite messy. I didn't really have the full closure I wanted from him and I can't deny that it broke me for half a year. I've always wondered about the story behind the girl he was with that night. I didn't want to know, because it's pointless. Mistakes were made, and it won't change a thing. I blocked him from everything, I even apologized to his family for cutting my connections with them after our break up. I grew fondly of them, but I know it was for the best.

The friend I was supposed to meet tonight was no other than Ramona. It's been a long time since I returned, but we kept in touch. She really helped me a lot and became my go to person every time I had the urge to unblock Suresh and take him back. She was my reality check, and she constantly reminded me that it was never my fault that I got cheated on and made me realize my self-worth. I really owe her a lot.

"Euna!!" she screamed and went outside the bar counter to hug me. She wiggled me a few times and hugged me tighter, making me laugh.

"I missed you too, Ramy." I told her smiling.

"Come sit come sit! Drinks are on me." I sat down on the stool near the bar. It reminded me of the first time I was here and I suddenly felt nostalgic.

We talked and caught up with everything. We didn't have that much to talk to, since we talked a lot on the phone. But Ramona had this boundless energy and we we're laughing non-stop while she rants about her clients.

"Oh! I remembered something." her eyes widened, like she suddenly had a Eureka moment and she can't wait to tell me.

"I know you're single.. and it's been two years since-"

"Ramona!" I lightly slapped her on her arm. I know that look and I don't like it. She's bound to set me up again with one of her friends.

"No! I promise it's different this time. I have no single friends left since you clearly rejected all of them." She rolled her eyes and giggled. I saw her tapping furiously on her phone and squinted her eyes.

"Aha! Here it is." she showed me her phone and I was met with a bright white screen.

LOVE ISLAND CONTESTANT APPLICATION FORM

We are looking for vibrant singles from across the UK who want to head to the sun, in search of love. The chosen cast will spend time in a luxury villa, getting to know one another, but to remain in paradise they must win the hearts of the public and their fellow Islanders who ultimately decide their fate on Love Island.

"Uhh.."

That's the only sound I can muster with what I read. Love Island? Really?

"You should try it babe!" she bounced up and down and was clapping like crazy.

"Ramy this is ridiculous. Really? A reality show?" I gave her back the phone but she pushed it again toward me.

"Just check it out! It might be fun. Free vacation, plus a villa full of hotties! It's time to put yourself out there babe. Forget about that cheating scumbag. There's no harm in trying."

I'm not gonna lie, it made me curious. I stared at the screen for a while and checked the application form.

"I'm gonna send you a link to the form, and promise me you'll think about it once you go home. Please?" Ramona pleaded.

I stared at her sighing

"Do I really have to?"

"Just think about it! C'mon Euna pleeeease?" she prolonged the "e" and shook my arm.

"Fine." I rolled my eyes affectionately and she smiled. The idea really sounded ridiculous. Me? Joining a reality TV show? I've only watched it a few times in the past when I was bored and I needed a distraction, but I never really watched it religiously. All I know is that it's full of drama and snogging.

When I went back to my hotel, I checked the link Ramona sent me. I studied everything and read the conditions. There's no harm in trying, right? I've been single for a long time, and I don't think there's any pressure in actually meeting the person you'd want to spend the rest of your life with inside the villa. It will just be a vacation with strangers, and I'll just go with the flow.

And besides, it's just the initial application. I'm not even sure if I'll pass the next screenings.. right?

Little did I know, after a few months of endless screenings, interviews and tests, I actually did. Funny, since I never imagined myself actually going through the process and managed to not back out in the middle of it. It still felt too ridiculous.

But here I am now, waiting for my turn to go inside the villa.

This is it. I'm actually here.

It felt so surreal, and the place was grand. I'm the 3rd girl to enter and I was welcomed by another girl with blonde curls and blue eyes.

"Heya! I'm Dana. You look so gorgeous!" she hugged me and I smelled a faint scent of cocoa butter. "I love your pink hair!"

Dana was really bubbly and full of energy. We entered the villa and went straight to the bedroom. Dana introduced me to another girl with dark hair and a cute half bun. Her name is Kat. She looked really intimidating and was quite intense, but she was gorgeous too. I can't deny that a lot of the boys would be all around her, but it didn't really bother me. After all, my original goal was just to have fun, finding the "love of my life" was just a bonus.

I was first called to go outside and choose a guy I wanted to couple up with.

Okay, no pressure.

Initially, I was welcomed by two guys. The first one was Alfie. He was quite funny and full of banter, but he wasn't really my type on paper. The second one was Eddie, but I wasn't really a fan of the boy next door vibe he was giving.

"Just the two of you?" I asked while pointing at the both of them.

"No, here comes the third one." Alfie chuckled.

He pointed at the door, and I saw a very familiar face I didn't expect. He gave me a devilish smile, and my heart just dropped to the floor.

Are you fucking kidding me??

"Hey there, princess." Suresh smiled. "Long time no see."

[ffakc]

Little Talks - a Jeffrey Dean Morgan fanfiction

I don’t remember who wanted to be tagged except for a few, but @happysgal @negans-attagirl @iluvneganandjamie

It was Jeff and I’s one year anniversary. I had all kinds of ideas of what to do for him, but my anxiety had other plans. I bury my face into the pillows and try to fall back asleep.

“Happy Anniversary, sweetheart!” Jeff pokes his head in the bedroom.

“Happy Anniversary,” I whimper.

“Oh no,” Jeff sighs. “What is it, baby?” my husband sits next to me, stroking my hair, “I brought you coffee.” I roll over and look at him, “You’re so beautiful”, he kisses me and holds the cold cup in his outstretched hand. I sit up and put my glasses on.

“Don’t lie to me,” I wipe a few tears away and take a sip of the vanilla flavored goodness.

“I would never. So tell me, what’s buggin’ you?” Jeff kisses me and takes a swig of his own drink. He places his cup on the nightstand and climbs into the bed. I snuggle up next to him and rest my head in the crook of his neck.

Tears begin to form again as Jeff wraps his slender arms around me. “I’m having horrible intrusive thoughts about my family, about you. I’ve had this fear since my grandma died when I was little that everyone around me is going to either die or leave me. I was so excited to get up early and go get groceries for an elegant, delicious dinner for you and I can’t do it.”

“I am NEVER going to leave you, do you hear me?” Jeff speaks softly, stroking my cheek, “Look at me. I wouldn’t have put a ring on that finger if I didn’t want you to be mine forever. I love you so damn much.”

“I love you, Jeffrey. I’m sorry you have to deal with my bullshit,” I laugh to myself. My husband smiles.

“When I took that vow, ‘in sickness and in health’, I fuckin’ meant that. I’ll always take care of you, baby girl. Here,” he hands me my notebook and a pen, “Make your list and I’ll go to the store for you. Did you take your medication?” Jeff examines my pill bottle. I shake my head as he opens it and hands me one. I swallow it along with some more iced americano.

“Mmm, coffee and Zoloft. Breakfast of champions,” I joke. Jeff laughs and kisses my forehead.

“Now, what can Daddy do to start this anniversary off right?” Jeff says with a mischievous tone to his voice. I glance down at the blanket and back up at my rugged husband with puppy dog eyes, biting my lip. “Oh, I know what YOU want. Anything for my Princess,” Jeff smirks, diving under the covers and sliding down my pajama bottoms. I giggle and grip his soft, gray hair, “I love you so damn much, pretty girl,” he moans. I’m so grateful to have a man like Jeff.

***

“Darlin’,” Jeff sighs, unbuttoning his pants. “That was incredible. Lord, I ate too much,” he chuckles. I stand up and giggle, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. I run my hand over my husband’s hairy stomach.

“Got room for dessert?” Jeff moans with delight and kisses me. I grab a slice of our wedding cake from the back of the freezer and two forks. It was tradition after all!

“There’s always that little pocket in my stomach that wants something sweet. I love you so much.”

“I love you, Jeffrey,” I sit on my husband’s lap and feed him bites.

“Tastes like our first dance, autumn breeze, and kissing you til my lips hurt,” Jeff grins.

“Best day of my life. Happy Anniversary.”

“Happy Anniversary, baby girl,” Jeff places a swipe of frosting on my chest and licks it off seductively.

“Go sit on the couch, I have a surprise for you,” I run my fingers through my older man’s hair.

“Should I close my eyes?” Jeff giggles. I nod and I press my lips to his and climb off his lap, making my way to the bedroom. I change into a cute outfit I got just for the occasion. I strut back to the living room.

“Okay, open,” I say.

“Just when I think I can’t fall any more in love with you. Come here, baby,” Jeff’s croaky voice is so damn sexy.

“Not yet, Daddy,” I hook my phone up to the Bluetooth speaker and begin playing one of my favorite sensual songs, “Rock On” by David Essex. I shake my hips and mouth the words as Jeff stares at me like a lion waiting to pounce on his prey. I was dripping wet for him. I grind against his thigh and moan in his ear.

“Jeffrey Dean,” I insert his name into the song and run my tongue over Jeff’s lower lip, pulling it into my mouth. I scratch his beard lovingly as he deepens the kiss. I kiss his neck and grind against the bulge in his jeans.

“I want to fuck your pretty little brains out, sweetheart,” Jeff moans in my ear as the song fades out. His jeans are still unbuttoned and his erection is throbbing, so I take full advantage. I slide down onto him.

“Baby,” I whimper. I begin to rock my hips. Jeff removes his glasses so I can look deep into his hazel eyes. His intense glare takes my breath away.

“Oh Princess, you’ve got my heart racin’. Your pussy feels damn good on my cock,” Jeff purrs as he jerks his hips upwards to meet mine. I grab his gray hair and tilt his head back as he gasps in pleasure. My older man is so sexy. The rolling of my hips coupled with Jeff’s thrusts become intoxicatingly rhythmic. He digs his fingers into my sides. “I’m a fool for you, you know that? The greatest thing I ever did was ask you to be my wife,” he talks sweetly.

“You’re too good to me, my husband,” I moan loudly as Jeff hits the exact spot, “Oh, Daddy! Right there, Jeffrey!” I gasp.

“That’s my girl. Fuck yes,” Jeff kisses my neck. “Oh fuck, baby!” his pleasurable grunts reminded me of Negan and it was so hot. Warmth fills me up as Jeff finishes, gasping as his eyes roll back. He looked so beautiful. I pull off of his slowly softening cock, leaving a trail of our mixed fluids on his jeans. We both laugh breathlessly.

“Good thing it’s laundry day tomorrow,” I hold Jeff’s face and kiss him. Jeff chuckles as I roll off his lap and snuggle next to him. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me close.

“I sure do love you, Mrs. Morgan. You make me the luckiest,” Jeff kisses my forehead.

“I love you too, Daddy,” I rub his hand and kiss his wedding band.

[acrossthewavesoftime]

John Graves Simcoe's Poetry

The question was ask'd, and an answer shall be receiv'd.

A peek at some of John Graves Simcoe's poetry, including quotations of some of his more remarkable pieces.

Probably the most famous piece of poetry Simcoe wrote is the first (known) Valentine in North America, dated 14 February 1779. This one's pretty well known as parts of it were used in a scene of TURN: Washington's Spies, albeit the recipient's name was changed to suit the show. It's lengthy, quite impressive and you've already seen it, probably.

While his crush on Sarah Townsend proved temporary, there was one woman he would write poetry to and about: "my Eliza". John Graves and Elizabeth Simcoe were very much in love with another, and his way to show it was to write it down in verse. This sonnet was his present to her to mark their 12th wedding anniversary (30 December 1794), which they were forced to pass appart due to the uneasy prospect of an American invasion in Upper Canada :

Twice six revolving years have run their course thro' yonder azure plains, diffusing joy.

Gladness and light has discontinuous mov'd,

Since thou, Eliza, overflowing source of happiness domestic, dost employ

My wedded thoughts, most honour'd, most belov'd.

And if the gathering clouds of fleeting life

Besides, thy presence soon illumines the scene,

And pleasure draws from elemental strife;

And now when Night and Absence intervene

O may my wishes wing thy speedy way;

Return, thou source of joy; return, thou source of day.

But, this isn't the only one: This bad boy from 1787 is a particular favourite:

Essex! ye Muse bless his name! thy flight

Nor shall mischance nor envious clouds obscure

Thou the bold Eaglet, whose superior height,

While Cadiz towers, forever shall endure.

0, if again Hope prompts the daring song,

And Fancy stamps it with the mark of truth,

0, if again Brittania's [sic] coasts should throng

With such determined and heroic youth,

Be mine to raise her standards on that height,

While thou, great Chiefl thy envied trophies bore!

Be mine to snatch from abject Spain the state,

Which in her mid-day pride, thy valour tore!

And oh! to crown my triumph, tho no Queen,

Cold politician, frown on my return,

Sweetly adorning the domestic scene,

Shall my Eliza with true passion burn,

Or smile amid her grief, at fame, who hovers o'er my urn.

To uncover the meaning behind this poem, it's important to know there are several, albeit badly concealed, layers to it. The big huge artistic 'trick' is that there are two couples; there are a) John Graves and Elizabeth Posthuma Simcoe, and b) Robert Devereux, 2. Earl of Essex and Elizabeth I.

Or no, let's make it three couples: the two human couples aside, the relationship between duty and love plays an important part, too.

For all ye who have ever been partial to Tudor history or know anything about Elizabeth I at all, the name of Robert Devereux (1565–1601), the queen's favourite, will be familiar. Essex wasn't only a capable soldier who distinguished himself during the Siege of Cadiz in 1596, he was also a poet, and his mainly remembered for having been executed for treason on account of a failed coup d'état against Elizabeth I's government. He came close to death by execution before when he was tried for striking a truce with Hugh O'Neil, Earl of Tyrone, during the Nine Years' War after having lost several critical battles in Ireland.

In a way, I guess Simcoe could empathise with Essex in that he too had been part of a war that had been lost and for loving a queen(-like) woman called Elizabeth, sole surviving offspring of her family and of Welsh heritage. Oh, and of course they were both poets.

He, too, dreams of winning military fame against Spain, one of Britain's historically greatest enemies, a victory which would, given its Elizabethan connection through the victory over the Spanish Armada, also echo his father's naval background.

But there is one thing that distinguishes him from Essex: where Essex loses the plot and aims for more power and fame after having won his share of military distinction, Simcoe envisions the time after his victory over Spain as a content, quiet one; all he wants is to be with "my Eliza", who "shall [...] with true passion burn", even if the "cold politician[s]" aren't going to understand why or how he can consider himself content with domestic happiness. He even goes so far as to consider retiring at Eliza's side as the "crown", the thing in life he strives most to obtain, but which by necessity must be preceded by a tour of duty. As a not-quite-aside, it says a lot about how he views (and respects) his wife by equating her to one of the most powerful monarchs in English history.

Let's not mince words, "shall my Eliza with true passion burn" definitively refers to sex, which might also proove that the only thing TURN ever got right about Simcoe is that he wanted his ladies to "like it, too". The two did discuss how many children they wanted, but for some odd, absolutely unfathomable reason, more and more kept coming... Let's say 11 (9 survived childhood) was never the plan, but then, his poetry and their letters (some of which are said to have been burned by their children after Elizabeth's death) are very revealing. She wrote him once that "The going down the river is so fine a thing altogether I wish for you every moment. I should be in ecstasies if you were here to partake of them." To all the more dirty minded among you who regularly have to fish your mind out of the gutter with a stick: I find at least two badly concealed x-rated allusions in these two sentences (also, adult funnsies on a boat? Kinky, Eliza!).

But back to the poem: he dreams of letting Duty be followed by time that can be dedicated to Love entirely; however, almost reduced to an uncomfortable afterthought in the last line, he mentions that his death while on duty is a possibility; yet still, Eliza, the beacon of light in his life, should be happy, or at least consoled by the fact he had died honourably.

I find it touching just how right he was, predicting his death 19 years later; a mission on the Iberian Peninsula would indeed arrive, yet also prove his undoing; but Elizabeth never "smile[d] amid her grief". She probably didn't smile much in the 44 years she survived him, and became very much like Queen Victoria in that her loss and grief for the person she continued to love most dearly in the world became her constant companion. The love and desire to be by her side expressed in the poem was undoubtedly mutual.

But I don't want to end this little excursion into Simcoe's poetry on such a sad note; when it wasn't love or politics, or a combination of both, Simcoe also took inspiration from veal pies, or his dog Trojan ripping a map apart. ...If anybody wants to get me these gems from the Archives of Ontario, I would be eternally grateful- and maybe dedicate an ode to you. ;)

Last but not least, Simcoe viewed poetry as a social activity, too; a poem by Mary Hunt (later governess to his kids, but whom he met through his godfather as she was the daughter of a naval captain he had been friends with) was born out of a poetry-contest proposed by Simcoe. Her poem, On Visiting the Ruins of an ancient Abbey in Devonshire, September, 1786, proved so popular was printed in at least five papers and one anthology.

The abbey ruin referenced in the title was Dunkeswell Abbey, a place the Simcoes loved to frequent and where they had often gone as a young couple to find some alone time away from the prying eyes of proper elders. One wonders if everything these ancient stones have seen was just as poetic as their description by Mary Hunt...

References:

Fryer, Mary Beacock, and Christopher Dracott. John Graves Simcoe 1752–1806: A Biography (Dundurn, 1998), p. 101-102 (for the Essex-poem).

Elizabeth Posthuma Simcoe: The Diary of Mrs. Simcoe: Wife of the First Lieutenant-Governor of the Province of Upper Canada, 1792-6, With Notes and a Biography by J. Ross Robertson, and Ninety Reproductions of Interesting Sketches Made by Mrs. Simcoe. John Ross Robertson (Ed.) (William Briggs 1911) p. 269 (for the anniversary-poem).