#happy anniversary to game that made me cry multiple times | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lavienjin · 3 years ago

Text

first love | myg

synopsis: After an incredibly long day, Yoongi found you crying in the copy room. Though he doesn't talk much, you've always found his presence comforting, and it didn't surprise you when he stayed and listen to you vent. However, while you sought comfort in his embrace, he proposed a special offer to reduce your stress with the magic of his hands. The only catch to your arrangement? You couldn't fall in love.

But wouldn't you know it, just as your friendship deepens into something more, you find an old notebook sitting on his bookshelf, and in it, a collection of poems. The last entry has you reeling because it's addressed to you. And in that page, a single line is written: Without you, I am nothing.

→ part of the virtue, vice, and everything nice collab.

pairing: yoongi x reader

wc: 11.3k

genre/rating/au: 18+ | fwb, coworkers, f2l au | smut, angst

warnings: unprotected sex, fingering, semi public sex, multiple smut scenes, multiple orgasms, oral (m. & f. receiving), masturbation, exhibition, lots of feelings. like a lot of feelings :(

author's note: i'm fully aware that this song is about a piano but i don't want to write angsty musician yoongi since it hits a little close to home, so i put my own spin into it. thank you to the lovely @ddaechwita for the banner! this is part of @missgeniality's wings collab so please make sure to check out the rest of the authors! ♥

i wanna give a shoutout to one of my favourite authors out there! @yoonia happy heckin birthday, my love!! i tried to channel your energy when i was writing this. truly, your fics give me a lot of inspiration!!!

m.list | ao3

You first entered Helion Game Company together as interns, assigned to comb through thousands of customer complaints while sitting across from each other.

Yoongi didn’t speak much; opting to tilt his head every time you greeted him good morning, but the way his eyes twinkled as he listened to you talk about your weekend caused a confusing array of feelings to emerge quietly in your heart. And the feelings continue to blossom whenever you return to find the occasional tangerine next to your computer after you’ve had a long day.

To you, Yoongi would always be that seemingly aloof coworker with a tight rein on his emotions, but one whose voice can command the entire room with just the simplest of words. It wasn’t surprising that he rose quickly through the ranks and you watched with quiet pride when he was inducted into the Senior Sound Engineers circle for the next version launch of the company’s hit mobile game.

Though it took you a few more months, you soon joined him in the ranks to work alongside the project with a team of Creative Directors. Introducing yourself to a room of ambitious souls was a nerve-wracking experience, but it was only made bearable when you caught Yoongi’s eyes in the back of the room as his warm presence continued to provide a quiet flow of support that strengthened your nerve. Ever since that day, you held his gaze steadfastly whenever you presented a new concept to the team, and if you’re lucky, you’d find a tangerine sitting prettily on your desk the next morning.

With the highly anticipated one-year anniversary launch coming up soon, you’re swamped with endless meetings to finalize the details that would be included, so much so that you’d find yourself reminiscing about the early days. Though combing through a never-ending list of demands from players was tedious, you relished in the quiet that surrounded you and Yoongi, the two of you lost in your own worlds with only the clicks of keyboards accompanying your routines.

As time and busyness enveloped your lives, they robbed you from seeing one another and it didn’t surprise you to learn that the sprouting feelings you once had for the ebony-haired man were eventually absorbed by the cacophony of noise around you. However, not all is lost, because you’ve gathered the scattered petals on the ground and chose to call it a different name: friendship.

And though it felt like months since you last talked or even been in the same room with each other, you couldn’t help but smile at the rare moments when you’re greeted in the morning with the comforting scent from the small, citrus fruit.

---

The day started out rather pleasant, the stifling summer air made way for a gentle breeze, cooling down the normal heatwave that lurks in the alleys of the city. You hadn’t even slept that terribly, even waking up before your alarm clock to enjoy the morning air as you sipped coffee from your favourite mug. As you smiled at the chirping birds in a nearby tree, you just can’t shake the feeling that today was going to be great.

Or so you thought.

As soon as you arrive at the office, your lifted spirits deflate as your assistant frantically calls your name in near tears.

“Dowon leaked the character concept,” she informs you in a high-pitch shriek as you shouldered your way through a sea of panicking bodies. “Namjoon wants to see you.”

From what you can gather in the few minutes you had with your assistant as you turned around to walk in the other direction towards Namjoon’s office, the newest artist in your team, Dowon, had posted a selfie of himself on Twitter that contained the early sketches of the not-yet-released Yuna in the background. He hadn’t realized his mistake until he checked his ever-buzzing phone, and upon looking at the encroaching thousands of retweets and likes, his panic was evident in his pallor. Although he deleted the tweet immediately after his discovery, the news had already spread like wildfire – with users reposting the tweets on multiple platforms outside of just Twitter.

When you enter Namjoon’s office, his back is turned towards you. He’s talking to someone on the phone in harsh whispers, though your deafening heart rate makes it hard for you to piece together the words.

“G-Good morning,” comes a timid voice from your side.

You blink in surprise at Dowon’s trembling figure. Of course, he’d be here, but your mind had been so preoccupied with the disaster that you hadn’t noticed his presence. With his shoulders raised to the skies, he sinks into himself, unable to meet your gaze. You’re suddenly parched, throat constricting around your reply, unable to push the words out, so you offered him a half-hearted smile instead.

Your attention is stolen when Namjoon clears his throat. The blue tie on his neck is slightly loose, and the way he sighs as he slumps on his dark leather chair causes a stone to drop in your stomach. When Namjoon regards you with his steel gaze, his mouth is pulled into a grim line.

“I assume you’ve been informed about what happened?”

Dowon squeaks from beside you and you steal a quick glance at the pitiful man, your heart clenching at the unshed tears in his eyes. He isn’t the best artist in your team, but he does work the hardest. If Namjoon decides to terminate his contract, it will be hard for you to hire another artist so late into the development.

You nod. “Minju told me what happened on our walk to your office, yes.”

Namjoon’s face is unreadable, a stone mask that doesn’t betray what he’s thinking. The only indication that this situation may be worse than what you’d imagine is the way Namjoon’s tongue prods the inside of his cheek, a rare expression you’ve only seen a handful of times in your employment.

You’re unable to breathe with the thick, palpable tension in the air. Namjoon studies both your figures in the silence, and you wonder if he’s quietly enjoying this.

“Dowon,” he says calmly. “What do you have to say for yourself?”

“I’m—I’m sorry, sir. It w-won’t happen again,” Dowon stammers. He bows as he balls his slacks into his fists.

Namjoon nods and returns his attention to you. “Tell me, how’s his performance as of late?”

You feel a prickling sensation as Dowon’s pleading gaze snaps to you. “His work is consistent.” You maintain the intense eye contact with Namjoon, resolute in defending your employee. “You won’t find another artist like him this late in the game, sir.”

Tension releases your body from its hold when Namjoon shifts his gaze away from you. The breath of relief you let out seems to reassure Dowon, and from the corner of your eye, you can see the way his shoulders begin to relax.

“Dowon, you may go,” Namjoon announces.

You offer a congratulatory smile at the man beside you, one he returns with a deep bow before he scurries out of Namjoon’s office. The unsettling feeling returns to your stomach when the door shuts behind you.

“Unfortunately,” Namjoon mutters, his expression turning grim once more. “I have some bad news for you.”

---

You can’t stop the hot tears from making their way down your cheeks as you barricade yourself in the copy room. Your team, possibly sensing your ire after you left Namjoon’s office without so much as a hint of a smile, has left you alone to wallow until it was time for them to go, where they quietly slip away without so much as a wave.

“Stupid thing!” you grumble, kicking the wheel of the copier in frustration.

For the past hour or so, you’ve been trying to print the incident report you’ve painstakingly typed out all afternoon. Your meeting with Namjoon has left a nasty mark on your otherwise pristine office life. You can’t blame him, knowing that the decision has been made prior to you stepping foot on the ugly navy carpet of your office, but you can’t help the anger that rises steadily towards the man either.

After Dowon left, having been dismissed by Namjoon, your boss informed you that you’ve been written up for your negligence, which, as you spat out to him that morning, was complete and utter bullshit. Namjoon patiently listened to you rant as you plead your case, but your passionate words didn’t make a dent in his armour.

“I’m sorry,” Namjoon murmured as he handed you a yellow slip. “Please have this signed along with the incident report. I expect it on my desk first thing in the morning.”

The beeping from the printer breaks you of your thoughts and you cast your gaze down to the LCD screen flashing red and yellow, signifying yet another paper jam on the side of the printer.

Defeat pulls you down on to the floor, where you bring your knees close to your chest as you bury your face into your hands.

“Hey, are you okay?”

You lift your face to meet Yoongi’s worried gaze. Great.

“Yeah,” you sniffle, wiping your tears away with the back of your hand. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just been a really long day.” You let out a half-hearted chuckle, one that Yoongi returns with a sad smile.

He makes his way to your crouched figure before sitting down next to you, both your backs leaning against the printer. “Why don’t you tell me about it?”

Though you’re touched by his sincerity, a part of you hesitates to tell him what’s wrong, especially since your interactions thus far have been minute due to your busy schedules.

Sensing your reluctance, Yoongi nudges you lightly with his shoulders, a growing smile on his face. “Come on,” he urges. “I’ve heard you talk about your weekend since we were interns. You were never shy about discussing your thoughts before, why are you hiding them from me now?”

With a shuddering sigh, you smile gratefully at Yoongi before highlighting the unfortunate moments from this morning. True to his nature, Yoongi listens closely as you speak, chiming in once or twice with a few hums. Though as you begin to retell what happened in Namjoon’s office, Yoongi tenses beside you, his once worried expression morphing into fury.

“What the fuck?” Yoongi slams his fist to the copier behind you. “That’s bullshit!”

“Yeah? Well, tell that to Namjoon,” you snicker. In all the time you’ve known Yoongi, you have never seen him so upset. “It’s fine, really. I’ve never been written up before, so it’s not the end of the world. Plus, Namjoon said that it was out of his hands,” you sigh. “I just hope it doesn’t look bad on my performance review.”

Yoongi releases his bottom lip from his teeth, but not after he tortures it to a point where you see little pricks of red peeking through the soft tissue. Your hand moves on its own as you wipe his bottom lip with your thumb, tutting at the small injury. When you realize what you’ve done, you snatch your hand away quickly, your cheeks aflame when Yoongi looks at you with wide eyes.

“I’m so sorry, force of habit!” you stammer. “I have cousins and they’re a messy bunch, always wrestling with each other and getting cuts all over.”

God! What was wrong with you? With a silent prayer for the ground to open up, you bury your face into your hands, trying to hide away the embarrassment colouring your face.

“Thank you.”

With an amused chuckle, Yoongi gingerly removes your palms from your face to force your gaze back to his. “I mean it,” he whispers as he lets go of your hands. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” you utter just as quietly. “Really, I should be thanking you for listening to me; not just about this fiasco, but for all the times I bugged you during our intern days.”

Yoongi tilts his head, his smile faltering slightly. “That’s assuming that you’re a bother.” At your protests, he begins to laugh, shaking his head. “Nah, I like listening to you talk,” he beams. “If I hated your voice, I wouldn’t have listened to you drone on and on about the countless awful blind dates your friends set you up with.”

“Oh my god! Why would you bring that up?” you laugh, smacking him lightly on the shoulder. “Anyway, I should probably get on with this,” you pat the printer a few times, “I still have an incident report to print out.”

Yoongi rolls his eyes at the mention of your task. “Leave it until the morning. It’s all formality anyway.”

“I would never have guessed that one of the greatest sound engineers in our company is a troublemaker.”

He chuckles at your teasing grin. Maybe it’s just your imagination, but there’s an amused glint in his eyes as he murmurs, with a voice so low that goosebumps appear on your skin, “There’s a lot you don’t know about me.”

Your thoughts slow to a crawl as he pins you with his gaze. Was his face always this close to you? Breathing becomes secondary as your heart hammers in its cage. What was he thinking behind those rich irises?

“Yoongi, I…” you begin, but you’re not sure what you wanted to say next.

The spell breaks when his lips curl up into an easygoing smile. “Come on.” Yoongi stands and offers you a hand. “I’ll help you with the printer, only if you promise to get a drink with me.”

Bewildered at his sudden offer, you can only muster a nod as he helps you stand.

“Okay, let’s see what’s going on with this thing…”

You watch Yoongi work on the printer for a few minutes, though really, your mind is drifting further away as the feelings you thought had disappeared seem to resurface back into reality. After opening two separate compartments in the printer, Yoongi’s able to find the source of the jam and removed it, instructing you to press a few buttons on the small LCD screen. Like magic, the flashing red warning sign stops and a little jingle resounds instead before the machine begins to spit out your documents into the tray.

“How did you…” you begin, staring in awe as the printer staples your report together.

“Well, the IT guys were taking a long time to appear this one time and our team really needed to print some reports. Since no one seemed to know what to do, I just rolled up my sleeves and opened it to find the issue,” he explains as he hands you the stack of paper. “Ever since then, every time this printer acts up, my team usually comes to me for help.”

Yoongi flashes an amused smirk in your direction as he wipes his toner-covered hands with a handkerchief. “So, ready for that drink?”

---

The walk to the trendy bar just a little way outside of your office is filled with a round of 20 questions. It’s strange to see Yoongi in this light, so animated and full of life. He talked about college; how he switched majors from business despite his parents’ disapproval. In return, you talk about your favourite musicians before learning that you listen to similar genres.

When you enter the mostly full bar and squeeze yourselves into the booth, the conversation never ceases, only stopping briefly when a waiter comes to take your order. Not wanting to drink on an empty stomach, you ordered a plate of appetizers – wings and nachos – to accompany your liquor.

“Good choice. They have the best nachos here,” Yoongi comments just as the waiter takes your menu and leaves.

“Oh? Do you come here often?”

“Yeah. They have live music a few times a month and my friend recently got a gig here, so I showed up to support him.” Yoongi points to the dim stage area where a microphone and a singular chair stand.

“That’s sweet of you! Okay, what else don’t I know about you, Yoongi… Do you have a secret identity? Office worker by day, criminal mastermind by night?” you tease.

Yoongi laughs into his hand, shaking his head. “Oh, if I was a criminal mastermind, I wouldn’t be stuck working at an office job. I’d just steal a bunch of money so I can live in peace.”

Just as you begin to ask about his plans for conquering the world, your food and drinks arrive, holding off the conversation for a later time. You’re too busy munching on your nachos and sipping your liquor of choice that it takes you a moment to realize that Yoongi stopped eating.

“What’s up?” you ask.

Yoongi studies you as he brings the glass of beer to his lips. “Nothing, I’m just glad you’re finally yourself again.”

“It helps that I have a friend to talk to,” you beam. “Thanks for taking me out tonight too.”

“Don’t mention it,” he smiles. “Sorry, I got a bit in my head there because I felt like I was pushing you to go when you didn’t want to.”

“Honestly? I’m glad you did. If not, I would’ve been at home alone to just drink myself under. That can’t be healthy.”

“Oh, and drinking in a relatively crowded bar is?” he fires back before bursting into laughter.

“That’s not what I meant!” you protest with a pout, stuffing your face full of nachos.

You continue to eat until only the platter empties. Through the night, the empty glasses beside you increase in quantity as you let yourself go with the flow of conversation and music. Once, Yoongi made you try something called a ‘Blue Moon’, his favourite beer imported from the Midwestern area of the United States that is served with a slice of orange.

“That reminds me, I never thanked you for the tangerines you leave on my desk,” you muse, drinking the last of the beer. The citrusy taste lingers on your tongue even as you switch over to chug a glass full of water.

Yoongi grins as he raises his glass. “Of course. A good job always deserves a reward.”

“Oh, and what kind of reward are you looking for?” You couldn’t help but snort when Yoongi chokes on his drink.

“You’ll pay for this one day,” he pouts as he cleans up his mess with a napkin.

Sure, your day was less than stellar, but after the Yoongi’s presence, you couldn’t help the smile that found its way into your face as you crawled into bed.

---

The next couple of days after the incident was just as you expected. The office is abuzz with gossip when you enter, with some brave folks asking if what transpired during Namjoon’s office was true. You confirmed what little you could, preferring to keep the details of your write up a secret, away from loose lips.

Though the energy surrounding your team has shifted, some are wary of working with Dowon in the event that another leak, your spirits lift slightly when you spy a familiar round orange fruit on top of your files this morning. Unlike all the other instances however, this one has a note attached to it.

“Drinks are on me tonight.”

And maybe… just maybe, things aren’t so bad after all.

---

“Fuck!” You slam the empty glass to the table, causing a few patrons to look over in your direction.

“Whoa, settle down there.” Yoongi’s comforting presence has not placated your anger the way it normally would.

Despite the launch happening within less than a month, your team is behind on some of the last-minute touches for the characters, making you work overtime for the past few days now. Speaking of the devil, your phone chimes and you spy the email that one of your employees sent you, asking for approval on a last-minute design change.

You type your confirmation with a low grumble under your breath, upset that even with the weekend within sight, your team is still hard at work.

“I’m sorry, Yoongi,” you mutter as you lock your phone and stash it back in your purse. “I’m sure it’s hellish on your end too and I’m taking this out on you.”

“I guess I should feel honoured?” he snickers, raising his glass to you. “When you were written up, you barely opened up to me and now look at us, drinking away our stress in the same booth every other day.”

You tap the bottom of his beer with your glass before taking a sip, grimacing as the liquor burns its way down your throat. “Well, it beats drinking alone,” you sigh.

Over the past month now, ever since the incident, you and Yoongi have made a point to meet at the bar every now and again, mostly to complain about work.

“Your blood pressure is off the charts, huh?”

“I feel like I’ll probably die before I reach 40 if this is how my team handles every launch,” you grumble, not affected by his joviality.

“Relax, tomorrow’s Friday! And then we have a long weekend ahead of us. Just bear with it for one more day, okay?”

You grumble an unintelligible response as you sip on your drink. Numb from the drinks, you’re not as perceptive as you usually are, completely missing the way he’s currently staring at you. His lips are downturned as he absentmindedly drums his fingers on the side of his beer before he finally pipes up.

“You know… I can help you with that. Your stress, I mean. I know that this was pretty much my idea – to get drunk and forget the stress” – you can’t help but raise your glass and chug as he continues to speak – “but I may have a healthier alternative.”

“Okay, spill. What do you have in mind?”

“I can always make you cum.”

As though he didn’t just drop the biggest bomb in your time together, Yoongi continues to drink his beer nonchalantly, while your mind struggles to comprehend what he just said.

“I’m sorry… what? Are you serious?”

“Of course, I am,” he shrugs. “I mean, I heard an orgasm is the best way to get over your stress and I’m pretty confident in my abilities.”

Your brain is unable to form the correct syllables to convey your thoughts.

The fact that Yoongi finds you attractive is a miracle in itself, especially when he walks around charming everyone in the office with his swoopy black hair and easy smile. Maybe your crush on him is slowly rearing its head again after all these years, but you aren’t sure if you’re willing to risk changing the relationship you currently have. Being Yoongi’s friend has been easy; he’s a great listener and you’re only scratching the surface behind the quiet exterior he presents.

However, somewhere deep inside, you must’ve wanted to change the dynamic to something more, or else why would you be questioning his proposal so intently?

While you’re busy staring into the amber liquid in your glass, Yoongi reaches out to cover the back of your hand with his, breaking you from the internal struggle in your mind. “Hey, if you’re not into it, don’t worry,” he chuckles, with a shrug of his shoulders. “I’m just offering my services. No strings attached, kind of deal.”

The question stands: why? As you stare into the hand that’s currently enveloping yours, you can’t fathom why someone like Yoongi would give you the time of day. It didn’t seem real – his proposal. But then, your gaze drifts to his face and after spending so much time with him, you know that Yoongi isn’t one to joke around.

“Don’t think about it too hard, okay?” He speaks just as he spies the waiter coming towards you with your check. “Looks like the bar’s going to close pretty soon. So, how about we get out of here and call it a night?”

---

That night, you toss and turn in your sheets, feeling a sense of emptiness. You can’t help but replay the scene from the bar – specifically Yoongi's nonchalant proposal.

Unable to sleep, you think. And then you think some more. Until your head is swimming with alcohol and something else.

And that’s when you call Yoongi at 3:22 in the morning, slightly surprised that he’s still awake.

"On the topic of what we talked about in the bar tonight…” you begin, biting your bottom lip nervously.

Yoongi groans on the other line. “I’m serious when I said you shouldn’t worry about it. We’re cool. If you’re not into the idea, I get—”

You cut him off before he could ramble further, smirking into the phone. “How confident are you?”

Instead of answering, Yoongi chuckles. “Wear a skirt and you’ll find out tomorrow, hm?”

---

It isn’t strange for you to be seated next to Yoongi during the manager’s meeting, especially since how closely you have to work with the sound department, but you can’t help but squirm in your seat as you attempt to listen to Namjoon summarizing the development reports he received in preparation for the launch.

Your seat is pushed almost flushed against the table, with the edge digging into your abdomen, to hide Yoongi’s fingers that are currently trailing ambiguous shapes into your skin. Coupled with the fact that he’s currently holding your panties hostage in the pockets of his slacks, every time you feel the cold bite of his metal rings when he travels higher, you clench around nothing while trying not to whine in front of the twenty-something people gathered in the room.

Taking a chance to look around the room, you’re only met with bored faces and yawning mouths, and there’s a subtle groan when Namjoon moves the PowerPoint slides to talk about last season’s numbers. However, whatever brilliant revelation he’s about to impart on you is drowned out by the roaring desire when Yoongi’s fingertips brush against your folds.

He whistles low while staring at the pie chart, and the few chuckles floating from the back of the room assume that he’s talking about the high numbers last season brought in, when in actuality, Yoongi’s pleasantly surprised at how wet you already are; your pussy sucking his fingers in down to the second knuckle.

The breath leaves your lungs when Namjoon raises an eyebrow when his gaze floats over to the two of you.

“Tell me about it. You really knocked it out of the park with the background music for the new area,” he chuckles, nodding his praise to Yoongi.

The corner of Yoongi’s lips twitch, a smirk threatening to take over his features. Oh, if only your coworkers knew.

Your poor bottom lip is bruised and swollen from your constant need to swallow down your moans. Sweat slicks all over your arms and back as you sit rigid, your legs pushed apart, and Yoongi’s unhurried fingers traverse your sopping cunt, taking care not to make too much noise in the otherwise quiet meeting room.

“All right, that’s pretty much all I have for you today. Thanks for letting me drone on for an hour,” he winces when he looks at the clock, “…and a half. Enjoy the rest of the day,” Namjoon chuckles as he adjourns the meeting.

You exhale gradually when Yoongi leaves your cunt as the others begin to stand. On one hand, you’re relieved, grateful that you weren’t caught because you were definitely breaking a slew of code violations while you’re getting handsy on the table. On the other, the strong need to orgasm only surges in your veins, wanting nothing more than to have Yoongi fuck you right then and there; consequences be damned.

“Aren’t you getting up?” Yoongi quips, an amused grin on his face.

You glower at his smirk, unable to form a sensible comeback with your heartbeat still steadfast on a thundering rhythm. When you do get out of your chair, the grip you hold on to the back is strong, your legs feeling like jelly after being teased for so long.

“I’m fine,” you grumble as Yoongi extends a hand – the one that was inside of you just mere moments ago.

With your shaky legs, you walk stiffly out of the meeting room, but not after stealing a glance around the remaining crowd to see if anyone noticed anything strange. Everyone, including Namjoon, seemed indifferent.

“And how was that?” Yoongi questions once you’re out of earshot.

“Unbelievably hot. I think I could’ve cum if Namjoon kept on talking,” you admit with a grin.

“Interesting,” he hums. “Do you have any meetings after this?”

Before answering his question, you look through your phone calendar. “Nope, I don’t have anything until 2pm.” That’s a lie – you meant to check in with your artists all day today, but the curiosity got the better of you and you wonder what it was he has planned.

“Come to my office in half an hour? I’ll make sure we’re undisturbed.”

Though he posed it as a question, you know it’s anything but.

Yoongi walks away with a smirk and you have to bring your legs together as you anticipate what he has planned next.

---

This is nothing like the meeting this morning.

Yoongi has you pressed up against the copier, holding your leg up as his fingers return to their rightful place inside you. The metal bits dig into your shoulders as you shift your hips, allowing him access into your deepest parts.

“Yoongi—”

The whine you let out is nothing short of pathetic as you rut in time with his thrusts. The sleeves of his dress shirt are seeped with your arousal, yet Yoongi doesn’t care, too focused on your pussy swallowing his fingers whole.

“Look at you,” he breathes, marvelling at the way your chest rises and falls rapidly. “So needy and wet. Keep your voice down, hm? We don’t want the whole office to hear us, do we?”

You inhale sharply before busying yourself with your bottom lip as he slams his hand repeatedly inside, his fingertips stroking the patch of nerves that has your body jerking in his grip. The coil has been building for some time now – your head is already swimming with desire. When his thumb presses circles on your clit, you know it’s only a matter of minutes before you come undone.

“S-So close,” you whimper. You’re arching your back as you’re practically sprawled all over the copy machine.

“Just let go, cum all over my hands,” he rasps before dipping lower to graze his teeth along your pulse point. “Cum for me.”

With a strangled moan, your body obeys his command. “Yoongi—fuck.”

While your team is out there, perfecting the project that’s due in a matter of weeks, you’re pulled apart at the seams – the orgasm slamming into you like waves as it cascades down your spine, making you shudder.

“Good girl, so good to me,” Yoongi mumbles absentmindedly into your hair. “So pretty when you cum.”

Your vision is blurry, filled with dancing lights as you attempt to calm your breathing. When Yoongi slips his fingers out of your cunt, you hiss, aching at the sensitivity. He massages your thighs with a hum, paying attention to the leg that was propped up for the entire duration of the… events.

“How’d I do?” he teases as he helps you smooth out the wrinkles from your skirt.

You’re honestly still reeling. Though your heart isn’t traveling a thousand miles an hour, it’s still clocking in the upper hundreds. Yet, your body did feel lighter, your mind also clearer somehow. You must admit, Yoongi orchestrated your body like an expert conductor – as though he’s known you all your life. No one has made you cum that quickly before.

Perhaps you should’ve kept those thoughts to yourself because you can see the way Yoongi seems to glow at your compliment: pride filling his chest along with a confident smirk on his face.

“Now, can I have my panties back, please?” you whisper as you hold out your hand.

Yoongi seemed to think for a moment, his lips turned upwards to the side. At your amusement and horror, he shakes his head. “I think I’ll hold on to these for the rest of the day.”

“Yoongi,” you state flatly, nervousness clawing up your belly, but you can’t deny the thrill either, so you don’t push it.

After he makes sure that no one seems to be paying attention to the copy room, Yoongi helps you sneak away, but not before filling your thoughts with some of his other ideas.

---

Your day passes like a blur, and you find yourself locking your legs more often as your distracted brain thinks about the events that happen this morning. The idea of Yoongi walking around the office with your lace underwear stuffed in his slacks makes poor company when you’re trying to work.

Too engrossed in your thoughts, you hadn’t realized that your assistant had let herself in until she called your name again with a cough.

“Sorry,” you smile sheepishly. “I’m a bit distracted right now.”

Your assistant merely smiled demurely as she hands you a stack of reports you requested. “Here’s the information on the developments we’ve made over the past few months and the breakdown of the new region from the programmers for next year’s launch. We can start meeting with them to talk about what they want the art team to start working on.”

You skim through the details, humming along as your assistant explains the finer points of what is written. “Thank you, Suha. This looks good,” you praise.

Suha bows to you with a proud smile, but instead of leaving, she shifts her weight as she stands. “Actually, I was wondering if I could leave in half an hour?” she requests.

A mischievous idea pops in your head and you have to thread your hands together to avoid immediately texting a certain dark-haired man. “Sure,” you chirp in a voice too high as you fail to hide your excitement. Clearing your throat, you try again. “Yes, Suha. You’ve done a good job. Please feel free to leave now if you’d like.”

Suha claps her hands together and bows. “Thank you!” she calls out before disappearing.

When the door to your office closes shut, you fire out a text and hum, fingers drumming impatiently on the oak table as you wait for Yoongi to arrive.

---

“Took you long enough,” you smirk when he opens the door.

“Well, unlike some people, I was busy managing my team.”

Poking his head one more time to make sure that no one’s noticed his arrival, Yoongi closes the door firmly behind him, locking it in place.

“Now, why have you brought me into your office, hm?” he asks rhetorically before stuffing his hands in his pockets and pulling out the familiar garment. “Could it be because of this?”

You laugh quietly with a shake of your head. “Maybe it has something to do with that,” you muse, watching him approach with your bottom lip tucked between your teeth. “Or maybe it’s because I’m just so stressed, you know?”

Yoongi chuckles at your insinuation before leaning forward until your faces are inches apart. “And,” he husks, wetting his lips with his tongue, “How can I help you?”

You hum as you grab him by the collar, crashing your lips against his as an answer to his question. In a spectacular feat, Yoongi’s strong arms lift you up from across the table, pulling you flush against his chest as he sits you down in front of him. Your legs wrap around his torso, causing your skirt to rise to display your bare pussy towards him.

Yoongi’s rough hands dig into the meat of your thighs as he grinds into your core. “Tell me. How did it feel walking around the office with no panties all day, hm?”

“Exhilarating,” you admit in a breathless moan, body aflame with desire as you feel his erection drag against your clit.

“And look at you now, so needy and ready for more. What do you think your team would say if they saw you like this?” Every few words are punctuated with Yoongi’s fingers undoing the buttons to your blouse.

“God, don’t ask me that,” you pout, arching your chest forward. “I don’t want to think about work right now.”

At this, he laughs. “Have you been thinking about work at all during the day? Some might say you’re a little distracted.”

Yoongi cuts off whatever retort you had prepared when he kisses along your jawline and down your neck, nipping the skin just harsh enough to send shivers down your spine, as he continues his mission to free your tits from their cage.

“Pretty,” he mumbles into your skin while palming your breasts.

The combined stimulation is almost too much for you to handle. With his hard cock dragging against your bare cunt and his lips attacking your neck, it doesn’t take long before your skin is riddled with goosebumps as you clamp your lips shut to stop yourself from moaning too loudly.

You find a moment of clarity when Yoongi unbuttons his pants, but just as you reach out to help him, a knock resounds at the door.

The two of you looked at each other in a momentary state of panic as you buttoned up your blouse in haste. Your hands tremble, making it hard for the plastic beads to slip into place, but somehow you managed to not wrinkle your clothes too much, though your heart thunders in your ears when you hear Namjoon, of all people, call your name from the other side of the door.

Making sure you’re both half decent, you unlock the door and yank it open, revealing a startled Namjoon in front of you.

“Uh… hey. Are you okay? Why was your door locked?”

You’re sweating and shaking, almost getting caught by your boss will do that to a person, but somehow you manage a curt nod, and when you lie, your voice actually sounded believable. “Yeah, just got a call about some interesting news from my family. How can I help you?”

Namjoon narrows his eyes in suspicion before shaking his head. “How about we talk inside?”

“That… um…” Your brain stalls for an excuse but fails. With a dejected heart, thinking that you’re probably going to get fired at this rate, you seal your fate and let your boss in… only to find yourself staring into an empty office.

Where had Yoongi gone?

Namjoon closes the door behind you and makes his way to your desk. You trail after him but before glancing around the room again. You find your answer when you sit down in your chair. Hunched under the desk is Yoongi, who has both his feet tucked under his chin as he grins at you. If Namjoon catches the way your eyes widen in surprise, he says nothing as you sit down.

“I’m just here to see how you’re doing, especially with the launch happening so soon. Is there anything I can help you with?”

You shift uncomfortably in your chair, especially when you accidentally brush against Yoongi’s leg. “I really appreciate the offer, but you really don’t have to check in on me every single time we have a launch. This isn’t my first time, sir.”

Your boss only sighs, sinking into the chair. “I know, truth be told, I wanted to tell you that I’m in the process of getting your write up to disappear from the HR records since it’s really not your fault.”

“Wait… huh?” You blink at Namjoon slowly, genuinely surprised that he’d go through such lengths.

Namjoon only shrugs. “Yeah, I mean. I feel pretty awful about it. So, I pulled some strings and you have been granted your clean record back. That’s all I wanted to say, really. It just didn’t seem right if I brought it up in the hallway,” he grins, showing off his dimpled cheeks as he finished his explanation.

“Thanks, boss,” you mumble gratefully. “It means a lot to me that you’d do that.”

“Don’t mention it.” Namjoon chuckles. “Anyway, what’s with the interesting call? Is your family okay?”

“Yeah,” you squeak, unprepared for him to call out your lie. “They’re okay, I swear. Just some trouble with my cousins…”

Namjoon seems satisfied with your response, nodding after you trailed off. The silence feels suffocating. After a few more heartbeats, Namjoon stands to leave, calling out behind his shoulder as he opens the door, “Well, if you need anything else, you know where to find me.”

The instant the door clicks shut, you jump away from your chair as you help Yoongi stand.

“You all right?” you ask, looking him up and down before deeming that he’s fine.

The easy-going smile returns to his face almost immediately, giving you a full view of his gums. “That could’ve been bad.” Yoongi checks his watch and smiles, pointing at the time. “But, it’s now technically the weekend. So, how about we pack our things and get the hell out of here, huh?”

---

Yoongi’s apartment is everything like you’d imagine, clean and monochromatic with hints of blue popping here and there. Lining the walls of his bedroom are framed jerseys from a few athletes you recognize, all of them signed and probably costing a good fortune. Besides the decoration, there’s really only one other piece of furniture aside from the bed. Standing on the wall closest to the window is a black floor-to-ceiling bookcase, filled with all sorts of books and a few random photographs of his younger years.

But you have no time to observe fully, not when Yoongi pushes you on the bed with a quiet chuckle, demanding your attention once more as he kisses the length of your throat.

“Now, where were we?” he teases into your skin.

You can only giggle before the sound turns into a groan when his hand digs into the skin of your ass. “I have no idea, but I say, let’s just fuck.”

“Good answer.”

Yoongi doesn’t care to discard your clothing, choosing to simply ruck your skirt to your waist before his hands fit between your legs.

“Yoongi—ah! Stop teasing!” you whine, pressing your back into the mattress as you writhe under his touch.

“Not until I get a taste of you first.”

With a final peck to your lips, Yoongi drops to the edge of the bed before pulling you towards him until you feel his hot breath against your pussy. He takes his time with eating you out – alternating between licking your folds and sucking on your clit – as you moan and gasp around him. Your arousal seeps out of you in a steady trickle, a puddle forming on his sheets.

“Shit…” you grunt. “Do I taste that good?”

“You do,” he mumbles, the deep vibrations from his voice causing you to arch your back. “God, I can taste you all day.”

True to his word, he drowns himself with your pussy, paying more attention to your clit as you feel the orgasm slowly spreading through your body.

“Yoongi, wait,” you breathe, tugging at his dark locks so he’d look at you.

And what a sight he is to behold.

The bottom half of his face is wet with your arousal as he smirks up at you with pupils so blown out, they’re almost black.

“I wanna cum with your cock inside of me,” you confess, sitting up to pull him into a deep kiss. “Haven’t you teased me enough today?”

Yoongi hums into the kiss, wrapping his arms around your body before pushing you back down to the mattress. “I guess that can be arranged,” he chuckles.

With your help, his slacks and underwear are thrown haphazardly on the floor. His cock stands proudly for you to admire; with a leaking reddish tip and a prominent vein running down one side of the shaft. Unable to help yourself, your hand wraps around his length, causing Yoongi to groan as his eyes flutter shut.

“I thought you wanted my cock?” he teases breathlessly.

“Not before I get a taste,” you counter.

Chuckling, he props his pillows along the headboard before settling back, making it easier for you to crawl over and swallow his length. Intent on keeping eye contact, you make short licks around the head before travelling lower, sucking on the tender skin of his balls before moving back up.

“Oh, fuck—” he grunts, hips jumping up when you wrap your lips around the tender head.

While still staring at him through your lashes, you lower yourself until about halfway, the weeping head knocking against the back of your throat making it hard for you to breathe. You hollow your cheekbones as you exit, earning a lovely, guttural groan from the dark-haired man below. Yoongi places a hand on your head as you continue, pumping him in tandem with the movements of your head as you bob up and down his length.

Your remaining hand digs into the skin of his thigh as you take him deeper down your throat, until you manage to sheathe all of him down to the base. Tears spring in your eyes as you whimper around his length, but despite this, you refuse to stop, not when you spy the satisfied smirk on his face that only aids the desire that’s already strong in your veins.

The grip around your scalp tightens as he attempts to pull you off. “I can’t… I’m going to cum if you keep this up.”

His words only add fuel to the fire and you speed up your ministrations despite Yoongi’s attempts to make you stop. Saliva collects into a wet, messy pool on the sheets as you swallow him into your throat. The tears cascade down your face, yet you can’t help but smirk proudly, especially when his lovely eyes flutter shut and his mouth hangs open as he chants your name.

“Fuuuck, I’m going to c-cum—shit!”

You inhale sharply as you push your head down, until his soft curls tickles your nose. A second later, your mouth fills with the salty, bitter taste of cum as Yoongi jerks under your touch, digging his nails into the sheets. You help Yoongi ride out his orgasm with a few pumps of your hand, making sure to collect all the excess without leaving a drop behind. When you’re sure there’s nothing left, you open your mouth to show him your reward before gulping it down with a smile.

With ragged breaths, he watches you swallow with a quirk of his lips; one of the corners pulled up into a half-smirk. “God, that was so fucking hot.”

“It’s your reward for making me feel good this morning,” you wink.

“Are you ready for round 2?” Yoongi asks with a grin.

“I should be asking you that…” But your words trail off when you notice that his dick is still very much hard. “Talk about stamina,” you mumble.

Yoongi chortles as he studies your shell-shocked face. “You look like you’ve never been properly satisfied,” he hums.

“After tonight? I have a feeling that may be the case.”

The two of you burst into laughter before he pulls you closer, kissing you unhurriedly as his hands explore your body to discard your clothes until you lay bare before him.

“You really are gorgeous,” he mumbles as he draws abstract shapes into the small of your back. Catching your eye roll, he chuckles. “I mean it.”

When he sits up to capture your lips, it’s all soft and filled with an emotion you’ve yet to name, and you wished your blood wasn't roaring in your ears because it’s making it incredibly difficult for you to hear what he’s whispering into your skin.

“What were you saying?” you ask when you part. “I think I missed it.”

Yoongi only smiles, but it’s not the brilliant grin that shows the pink of his gums, no, this one is more subdued – delicate – as he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Nothing,” he replies, voice low and airy. “I didn’t say anything you don’t already know.”

It’s a strange response, but you really can’t push it further, because in the swirling abyss that exists in the dark pool of his eyes, lies an answer that you’re uncertain you want to know just yet.

Instead, you kiss him again, gliding your lips to get his to open, so your tongues can meet and have the conversation you’re too afraid to voice – for the sake of preserving the moment. You kiss him with ferocity, pushing him back onto the pillows as your hips grind against his hard length.

And when you lower yourself onto his cock, you forget the vow you made, because in this moment, with the moonlight filtering past the sheer curtains in his room, Yoongi is breath-taking. With his soft, dark hair splaying all over the pillows and his slightly swollen lips parted open in a quiet moan; you know you’ve fallen in love. Yoongi’s sincerity is your undoing, ever since the two of you met and sat next to each other when you were interns, and now? As you learn more about him and manage to breach through the quiet exterior? You’re a goner.

And maybe you’re delusional, but you swear, when your lips find his as you begin to move, you can taste the faintest trace of oranges.

Your nails drag down his chest as you roll your hips with his thrusts. “Please,” you beg, but you’re not sure what for. “Please, Yoongi.”

Despite your lack of instructions, Yoongi seems to know exactly what you need. “I got you,” he murmurs as he holds you before flipping you over, letting your chest rest on the mattress below.

Yoongi kisses your spine as he bottoms out again, making you moan into his pillows as he begins to move. “You’re so tight, shit,” he rasps as his fingers find your clit between your legs.

He keeps a steady pace, rocking you back and forth against the bed as you writhe with every drag of his cock and fingers. The only word that exists in your vocabulary at this moment is his name and without shame, you call out to him in a series of pathetic whines. You need him to know how good you feel, but without the ability to form coherent sentences, this is all you can do.

Though just like before, it doesn’t take him long to decipher your tells and he increases his speed, driving his cock deep into your pussy.

Finally, your tongue seems to want to move again. “Feels good… Yoongi…” you manage.

“Yeah? Me too. God, me too.”

He turns you over again then, so that you’re facing him once more. Yoongi crashes his lips to yours as he begins to thrust in earnest, pushing himself deeper than before. Your vision is filled with stars as you grab hold of his neck, rutting in tandem with his drive. What little hold you have left on your sanity wanes as the pressure builds – release so close that it leaves you gasping.

“Gonna-ah c-cum,” you moan, digging your nails into his back.

“Let go,” he commands, and again, he repeats, “I got you.”

The coil snaps at the sound of his promise. “Yoongi!” you shriek, tumbling down the chasm of pleasure. Your walls tightening around his length triggers a second orgasm from him, and with a groan of your name, he floods your insides with his seed.

“Shit… I didn’t—fuck—you felt so good, that I, uhm,” he stutters. Yoongi’s body shudders with pleasure even as he comes down from his high. With a heaving gasp, he collapses next to you, arms too tired to hold himself back up.

You pull him into an embrace while shushing his mumbled speech. “It’s okay, you’re okay. I’m on the pill, so don’t worry,” you assure him. “And if you’re worried if I came, didn’t you hear me scream? My throat is so sore now, holy shit.”

The both of you chuckle, the airy sounds mingling together. In the silence that follows, you don’t think about the feelings that surged in the midst of your coupling; refusing to acknowledge that he’s the reason that has your heart running a thousand miles a second. It isn’t just because of the nature of your relationship, but you’re genuinely worried of the possibility of losing a friend… and yet… Yoongi feels so perfect in your arms like this, with his smiling face smushed slightly to your chest. In the singular day since you’ve started this relationship, he’s made a habit of trailing shapes on the small of your back while humming quietly to a song you don’t know.

The soothing action pulls you away from your overbearing thoughts for a second. While planting a kiss into his hair, you ask him, “What’s the name of this song?”

“You like it?” Yoongi nuzzles further into your skin, breathing you in. “It’s my own original piece. It’s called ‘First Love’ and I wrote it about my piano back in my mother’s house.”

In your time together, Yoongi’s never mentioned his family or much of his childhood really, though you never thought to ask about them either.

“Music will forever be my first love,” he hums, dark eyes turning glassy as he recalls the memories. “I remembered slaving so hard over the keys that by the time I managed to master my first classical piece without making any mistakes, it drove me to tears,” Yoongi chuckles. “Ever since then, I practiced like a mad man, every single day after school. Just to play one piece after the next. My mother was mad; not because I was making too much noise, but because my studies suffered a lot.”

Your silence allows him to continue, but not before he peeks at you to make sure you haven’t fallen asleep. When your eyes meet his, the two of you smile, but his is much wider, a perfect showcase displaying his pearly teeth. He rolls over so your head lies on his chest, and his hand moves to trace shapes on your shoulder instead.

“My mother threatened to take the piano away, so I ended up working extra hard, on both music and my grades, but somehow it still wasn’t enough. There’s a time when she came into my room and ripped a bunch of the music sheets that I’ve painstakingly collected,” he sighs sadly, casting a faraway look towards the ceiling.

Your heart bleeds as he recites some of the words to the song. The lyrics personifies music as though it truly was his first love, but one line leaves your heart aching and shattered: Without you, I’m nothing.

It’s the decisive and almost unhealthy, nature of the words that cuts you deep. You’re not sure if it’s intentional, but it sounded like he’s shackled to his muse; needing it solely to live.

However, Yoongi isn’t seeking validation, nor is he looking for you to disagree, so you keep your mouth shut as he continues to talk about his life – about having to work two to three jobs while going through college and once he graduated, unable to find a suitable job in his field that lead him to work with Helion today.

“And that’s when I met you,” he chuckles as he tightens his embrace. “Something about you reminds me of the day I learned Chopin for the first time.”

“Why? Because I make you want to be a better person?” you tease, poking him lightly on the cheek.

Yoongi looks down at you with a cocky smirk. “That’s for me to know and for you to find out.”

---

When you wake up the next day, the sun is peeking into the otherwise dark room through the crack in the blackout curtains. The bed next to you is empty, though the lingering warmth from its previous occupant tells you that he left not too long ago. Sure enough, you find a note on the nightstand tucked under the glass of water.

Gone out for bagels. Text me your order.

You’re smiling as you down the glass, reading the swoops of letters repeatedly before reaching for your phone.

You: just a plain bagel with cream cheese. Strong coffee. Please and thank you. Yoongi: yep.

Yep.

That one simple text turns you into a giggling mess as you shove the screen close to your face.

Setting your phone aside, your thoughts are too deeply intertwined with yesterday’s events that you can’t help the burning desire that flows through you once more. You’re satisfied; of course, you are, but the thought of spending another day with him, without having to worry about work for another day, especially with the launch being so soon, has you melting into his sheets.

Your breathing hitches as you close your eyes and lay back on the bed, caressing your own skin like Yoongi did the night before. Your fingers pale in comparison to his, yet you let the memories guide you as you tremble with every drag of touch against your clit.

“Yoongi—” you mumble into the quiet morning air.

You press your face closer to his side of the bed and the familiar scent of his cologne has you careen closer to the edge. The whine you let out is nothing short of pathetic as you rut desperately into your hand while your mind conjures up an image of Yoongi leaning against the doorway, bagels abandoned in the kitchen while he studies your actions with amusement.

“Jesus, wetting the bed so early in the morning?” He’d tut, arms crossed in front of his chest. “Guess you can’t get enough of my cock, huh?”

“N-No… need you,” you whisper, hips raised from the bed as your fingers work quicker – wetness dripping down the inside of your thighs to make their mark on the sheets below. “Fuck—need you so badly.”

You press your head into the pillow while you crowd your pussy with another finger. It isn’t enough – nothing compares to the sheer girth of his cock and how effectively it stretches you out to make a mess out of you.

Three.

It requires three of your fingers for you to feel full as you replace your hand with the veiny arms belonging to Yoongi in your mind. You imagine him leaning over you with his signature, ever-present smirk on his face as you writhe under his touch. He’d provoke you to be louder, punctuating his words with every drag of his fingers against the patch of nerves in your cunt so that everyone could hear who this pussy belongs to.

It’s sudden – how the forest fire eclipses your whole body that snaps the coil in half. All because your filthy mind conjures up a final image of Yoongi commanding you to let go.

“Shitshitshit—Fuck! Yoongi!” You cum with an embarrassingly broken whine of his name, your fingers plunging deep into your pulsing hole that causes your arousal to squirt on the bed below.

You crash back to the reality of the bed with ragged breaths. The room spins slightly when you open your eyes and you have to blink several times to get the squiggly lines to float away from your vision.

When your breath evens out, you survey the room you’ve neglected in the heat of the moment. You didn’t get a chance to see very much of it last night and with your brain so occupied this morning, this was the perfect time to snoop into your coworker’s life.

Like the vague recollections of his living room, his bedroom is mostly devoid of furniture aside from the bed and the large floor to ceiling bookshelf on the further end of the wall. With nothing else to do, you hop from the bed to take a look at the books, smiling to yourself as you survey the rare photographs in each shelf of a younger Min Yoongi.

As your fingers trail the large tomes of stories, dictionaries, and magazines, you stop when you notice a gap between the end of the shelf and a copy of Don Quixote. Curious, your finger reaches into the gap to produce a small, yellow notebook the size of your palm. The title on the front is illegible, scrawled on by a small child, so you decide to delve through the pages to see what lurks behind.

You chuckle into the book as you read through entries dating as far back as the early 2000s. It’s a collection of poems – written by the one and only Min Yoongi. The earlier pages contain stories of playing outside and ice cream along with brief glimpses of his intelligence as he laments about the fleeting nature of summer.

You’re pleasantly surprised to find that he’s continued the tradition as you study the entries, his once messy handwriting morphing into the swoop of cursive you’re familiar with. It’s interesting to see his life in small glimpses: his teenage self agonizes over his future while the Yoongi in his early twenties begin to explore topics of dreams and goals.

You read each sentence carefully in an attempt to retain all the emotions he’s spilled on the page. Who knew that Yoongi has such an artistic mind?

When you reach the more recent entries, you hesitate, wondering if it’s all right for you to read through them. Unfortunately, your curiosity outweighs the small voice of conscience, so you pressed on.

The thought of Yoongi hunched over his bed scribbling into the tiny notebook makes you smile. You imagine the way his shoulders would curve inwardly while he balances the pages on his lap and that devilish tongue of his would wet his lips occasionally as he thinks.

You suppress a groan as your treacherous mind recalls what that tongue did to you the night before.

Shaking the dirty thoughts away, you return your attention to the last entry on the page. Unlike its predecessors, this one is short, containing only a title and a single line. However, the title itself is confusing - a seemingly random mix of consonants and vowels forming a word you know for sure does not exist in the English language. You figure it’s some sort of code, but your sluggish mind refuses to piece together the anagram, still dipped in sleep and the aftereffects of your orgasm. You grab your phone with a sigh, employing trusty, old Google to do its job. When you input the title into the search bar, for once, autocorrect comes to your rescue… but at what cost?

“What?”

Disbelief exists in the knot of your eyebrows until you reread the page in its entirety. Realization kicks in slowly, but when it does, you gasp, throwing the notebook and the device away to the floor as if they burned you.

Because the anagram spells out your full name. This entry was written for you.

And the disquiet in your stomach is due to the emotion so easily evoked by a single line, one that you’re all too familiar with:

Without you, I’m nothing.

---

“I’m back. I got a bunch of bagels because I wasn’t sure which one you liked,” Yoongi calls out as he enters the apartment.

The silence that greets him makes him smile as he assumes that you’re still tired after last night, but when Yoongi walks into the bedroom, your name dies on his lips as he looks on in horror: at the yellow notebook – his yellow notebook – lying face down in front of your feet. Your shell-shocked expression tells him all he needs to know. You’ve read the latest entry.

This all feels like d��jà vu; just like the first time he caught you weeping in the copy room. His own bedroom feels foreign to him as he takes a hesitant step inside. Yoongi wants nothing more than to laugh it off as a joke, but he knows you won’t buy the lie.

“Yoongi?”

His attention snaps from the swirling patterns on the carpet to your face. Instead of fear, you seem curious, could he take it as a good sign?

“How much did you read?”

The voice that comes out of his mouth sounds foreign even to his own ears.

Your eyes drift lower then, to the notebook on the floor. “All of it,” you admit in a quiet voice. “I read all of it.”

The room fills with a blanket of tension. With a heavy sigh, you stand and brush past him, heading to the living room.

Yoongi’s eyes trail after you as you sit on the cushions of his couch. With an indescribable smile, you look straight into his eyes.

“Let’s talk.”

---

Despite your invitation, it’s you that sits mum on the couch next to him, refusing to meet his eyes.

“I saw it, you know.” Yoongi begins with a humourless smile. “The discomfort you felt was written all over your face when I recited that one line.”

You wait for a bit, holding a space for him to talk should he feel the need to elaborate. “You know, I feel like I do the talking in our relationship, but I’m going to need you to listen to me again, okay?” you say as you mirror his solemn grin. After taking a shuddering breath, you explain, “I don’t want to be the sole reason you live, because without me, you should still be something. I mean, you’re so… you,” you gesture at his figure. “Funny, and kind, and sincere. Someone I can trust and even lean on after all these years.”

His face doesn’t betray his thoughts as he refuses to meet your eyes.

“Yoongi,” you reach out to envelope both his hands into your own. “I love you.”

You can tell he hadn’t expected the confession, but his surprise quickly disappears as he laughs bitterly.

“Why do I feel like there’s a ‘but’ in this confession?” Yoongi asks sarcastically and his lips twitch into a faint hint of a smile.

“But… I don’t want to be in a relationship where I feel like you’re not being true to yourself,” you advice as you squeeze his hands with your own. “That doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be with you, but I just need you to know that you are your own person first.”

Yoongi nods as he digests your words. When he finally returns his gaze to you, he seems more relaxed, a genuine smile on his face. “Thank you,” he murmurs as he squeezes your hands in return. “I think I really needed to hear that.”

“So… what happens now?” you ask meekly, despite being the cause of this whole mess.

His tongue darts out to wet his lips before he speaks, and when he does, there’s a quiet surge of confidence that you hadn’t heard from him before. “I want to be with you,” Yoongi admits. “But I think I’d also like to take things slow.”

“We can do that,” you grin.

And the following week, it’s you that leaves a tangerine on his desk; a signaling promise for tomorrow.

moon’s notes: ah! don’t we love a semi-ambiguous ending? i didn’t have the heart to end it sadly, so i hope it still makes sense!! thank you so much for reading through this lovely little piece. i appreciate all your love!

thanks for being part of the taglist! (½): @diorejeon @hwngsgf @clumsymandu @yoongskook @bringmetheksj @wacdon @itsallabouthedetails @chimchoom @sunshinerainbowsbts @mrsparknamjoon @thedarkwinterrose @somewhereofftheglobe @typicalgenzworld @nch327 @moonchild1 @kooafraid @syazkook @kookie-vuitton @tenmonthsjay @jimilter @hoseokstrashcan @imcompletelyok @sa1ntsuga @jungkookah-lover @vantxx95 @love2luvya-blog @nochuel @yoontaethings @kookieebangtan @Madamdoue @squeakymeekster @jkbabiey @jikookiekosmos @novilara @btsis7okay @sunflwrxclouds @taecal @fancycollectormoon @Starbrightday @chimmy-licious @outrofenty @codeinebelle @hey-youre-appreciated @sugaslittlekookies @fan-ati–c @bbangtanlove95 @ppeachyttae @taebae19 @ggukkieland @mellygallagher @greezenini @gukkmoans @Jimmeojimin @koolvrr @daggersandicedcoffee @doublebunnykoo @jamlessstars @shrimpmsg @mrcleanheichou @ysltae @etherealyoonkoo @unicornbabylover @majolittlemixgurl18 @Asifihaveaclue @ionasfeelings @moonreadsfics

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quasieli · 2 years ago

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Can you believe!!! It's been three years!?! Happy anniversary to the Reforged Campaign!!! Today in 2019, some of our little blorbos met for the first time, gathering up some new friends along the way. We've been through so much together and I just wanna get gushy and talk about my lovely friends who have made this little fantasy game so enjoyable and have contributed to my D&D brain rot for all this time lol.

@army-of-bee-assassins Joyce, playing Whitlock: the axe-swinging, tubthumping, Fighter/Wizard of our dreams ✨️ There's a reason we've said that if you don't love Whitlock, you're wrong. While a badass in combat (I'll never forget the fireball that took out nearly a dozen ghuls at once 🤩🥰), outside of our intense fights, Whitlock is the epitome of kindness and caring. It only made sense that this care combined with his love of the arcane led him to the school of Abjuration, he is a protector through and through. One thing that continues to astound me about Whitlock is that even after almost drowning (multiple times) and losing his home and his whole old life to the seas, Whitlock still has fought for elementals who have been enslaved and mistreated, because that's who he is. He stands up for the little guy, even when the little guy may be much bigger than he is. He is selfless in his actions, some may call him reckless (like being the first to charge into an unknown encounter, even if his initiative score doesn't usually reflect that lol), but I wouldn't. I would call it faith, because he has faith in his skills and he has faith in his friends, to be there right behind him, as he is always behind them. Love our sailor boy, I am forever on Team Beans 💙

@lacklusterlexicon Alyx, playing Kempa/Eun Ha: the best shirtless dragonborn Barbarian bhimbo you could ask for⚡️Alyx first joined our group as a guest, playing the lovely tiefling druid Kaia and it was a pleasure to have hir at our side as we fought the terrors of the Shadowfell and the corruption it brought to the Prime Material. But as that mini arc drew to an end, we as players knew we had found something special with Alyx and knew we couldn't let them go so easily. It was then that we were introduced to Kempa (then Eun Ha) and it soon felt like she had been with us since day 1. Oh Kempa, my beloved Kempa. She had been through a lot before reaching our little group, things that made her angry and that rage fueled her fight. But the rage did not consume her, she instead used her pain to push forward, to try and find her lost friend, and found a new family in the course of that mission. Kempa can sometimes be the goofy jock barbarian stereotype, but she is so so so much more than that. She brings kindness and empathy into everything she does. When we learned a lackey that we captured and interrogated was just a person down on their luck looking to make a living, we could've just let them go and been done with it, but not Kempa. Kempa gave them money, not wanting to contribute more pain into an already harsh world. Sure she can shoot lightning out of her mouth and decapitate a bad guy with a single swing of her halberd, but the core of Kempa is compassion, listening to others to understand rather than just making harsh judgements. I'm glad to have her on our side 💙

@lichfucker Tess, playing Ingot the Feather-Light: the sharpshooting, noble-turned-hero tiefling Ranger/Rogue 🏹 Ingot Ingot Ingot, what's there to say about him (that I can say without crying lol)? From the outside, it may appear as though everything was given to Ingot on a silver platter, what with his noble upbringing and having received the highest standard of archery training. But to look at him through this lens would be to do the utmost disservice to his character. Ingot has worked for everything that he has. He was the one who chose to veer off the path his parents had set for him and for what reason? To stand up for a stranger, a prisoner of war who just so happened to be just like them, a tiefling. Since that day, Ingot started to become the person he was truly meant to be, his upbringing and any devil’s contracts be damned. The real Ingot is not a good little soldier boy who just takes orders from the war machine. No, Ingot is a fighter, using their bow and arrow when they damn well please. You do not want to be on the wrong end of Ingot's ire. But more than that, Ingot's learned to be a lover as well. Despite his cold upbringing, he has forged a new family of his own, one that loves him for him, not for what he can or can't do. Ingot is not a soldier, he is a friend, a damn good one at that, even when he may act like a bit of a bitch. It's okay, we still love him, and it has been an honor to be on Team Tief with him 💙

@keplercryptids JD, our dearest creative, dedicated, a little bit insane (affectionate), and all around amazing DM and friend 💚 Thank you for creating Z’ress and Mahety and Suri and Dagen and Lorne and Nabil and Najiba and Temza and Gell and Ohestra and Z'rael and Levsais and Cover and Ildan (🙄 /j) and Polodren (:fearhamster:) and just the whole entire world that is Sirona, and the planes beyond the material! This world you have created is expansive and feels so real that it makes it so easy to feel like we are our characters, walking through it and living out their adventures. Thank you for the weeks and months and years of hard work you have put into making out little fantasy game. Never did I think we'd have what we have now three years ago, that not only am I still involved with this super cool game, but I made long lasting friendships with some of the best people I've had the pleasure to meet (online at least, but hopefully soon we'll all be together!). You facilitated that, you brought us all together and have kept us together and that's not an easy feat for five adults lol. Thank you for the cool mechanical parts of this game that have been the most insanely fun encounters that really challenge us to think creatively, even when we may get stumped by a puzzle where the answer was we had to walk into an unlocked room to get a key 😅. Thank you for the world of NPCs with vibrant personalities and who are complex and complicated and messy and funny and interesting and loving. Thank you for their wisdom and their friendship. Thank you for your friendship, you've taught me a lot and I will value it forever. Thanks for just being awesome 💙

And last but not least, shoutout to JD's best friend, who played the gentle titan of destruction, Salvador, and @artemissoteira AKA Rowan, as Ithren (if that even is their real name lol) for joining us along the way as guests, who made our little world all the more special. I appreciate and love all of you. Here's to many more years in our funny little fantasy worlds 💙💙💙

#Eli Speaks #SICL #Reforged Campaign #this is long and rambly but I had to get it out #I just love my friends so much 😭😭😭#Joyce #Alyx #Tess #JD #Rowan #Long Post

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6sakusa · 4 years ago

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hello i see requests are open 🥺 can you write an angst to fluff with suna 💞💞 maybe som ething related to birthdays/anniversary’s, or just feel free to take creative liberty. thank you i love your work 😖💞

“birthday” suna rintarō.

a/n : i hope you enjoy, if so please support by liking & reblogging <3

warnings : angst, implications of a toxic relationship, mild swearing, me not proof reading sorry.

you had been sitting against the hardwood chair for hours now, it felt pointless to even count, time was blurring slowly and you couldn’t help but fade away with it. you would have never imagined your day would go like this, from the moment you had woken up your boyfriend suna hadn’t been in bed next to you, granted that was something you were used to. however, you thought today would be different, considering it was your birthday.

since suna went pro he seemingly had less and less time for you but you could tell he was making as much as an effort as possible, that’s probably the reason that you failed to address it multiple times regardless of the way it had been eating away at you. how could you get in the way of your boyfriends dreams? he had finally accomplished everything he had wanted since high school, he was playing for a division one team, he had the apartment he’d been dreaming of, the car he had saved on his pinterest board since he was seventeen, and now even though he never cared for fame he was definitely famous.

and you were there for the entire ride, you were there when he first decided to try out for inarizaki’s volleyball team in first year, even though you weren’t dating then you still encouraged him to go for it. you were the one who showed up to his first practice to ease his nerves even though he tried to act brave. you were there when he went to nationals for the first time, the look in his eyes was indescribable, it was beautiful and it’s when you knew that you were slowly falling in love with suna. you were there when he lost his first official game comforting him as much as you could. you were there in second year when he lost against karasuno, you were there when he got his first girlfriend advising him what to get her even though you were completely whipped over him. yes, you were always by his side, thankfully the two of you made things official in third year.

but now looking back thinking on all of it you realised one thing you had never even considered is that this would happen, that once suna achieved everything you would no longer be his priority. you weren’t going to lie to yourself, it hurt, it seriously hurt. especially when you had been anticipating him to leave atleast a note wishing you a happy birthday saying he would be back in a couple hours to celebrate with you. but no, there wasn’t even that. no note, no text, no phone call, nothing.

and here you thought you would take the burden off his hands by planning something for the day, you had spent hours preparing a three course meal knowing that once suna was back from practice he would be on the verge of knocking out, the last thing you wanted was him dragging himself to some fancy resturant across town at your benefit. yet, it didn’t matter how much you considered his feelings since he wasn’t even here to show an ounce of gratitude.

it was taking everything in you to hold in your tears, had he really forgotten? even his own teammates had taken the time to text or call you to wish you a happy birthday, but right now it was anything but that.

what probably hurt the most was the crushing realisation of how unimportant you were becoming in his life, why were you even still in it? did he even want you around, even if he does then that didn’t mean you should necessarily stay, afterall it was becoming clearer and clearer that you deserved better even if you cursed the thought of saying it outloud. well, you atleast deserved someone who could remember your special day.

your head darted to the door as you heard the sound of keys and the lock clicking, it was almost as if suna’s very presence could pull you out of any trance.

“rin?” you smiled, why were you smiling? you shouldn’t be smiling. were you really so hopelessly infatuated with your boyfriend that you would let all your thoughts melt away at the sight of him alone? come on now, this is disappointing.

you deserve better.

you launched yourself into his arms in which he embraced you tightly, it wasn’t anything special, he did it everytime he had come home to you, but you couldn’t help but feel butterflies in your stomach as if you were still in your honeymoon phase when it came to rintarō.

“are you hungry? i made some food.” you pulled away taking a glance at his face, even when you were right in front of him it didn’t even seem like he was acknowledging your presence. his eyes were trailing between empty space, not even looking down at you. you couldn’t help but sigh to yourself, why had you gotten so excited?

“nah.” he shook his head attempting to make his way over to your shared bedroom. he looked tired and you weren’t surprised, afterall being a pro player was no easy task but you hoped at the very least that he would say something. secretly you were hoping that this was all some shitty prank that he decided to play on you and any second now he would jump out saying happy birthday and offering to spend some time with you.

“but rin i-“ you could barely finish your sentence before he decided to cut in with a tone so sharp that it was offensive.

“not now y/n, i’m not in the mood.” he sighed.

“i understand that but-“

“are you really going to keep talking? don’t start this clingy shit right now i said i’m not hungry.” and with that he didn’t even bother turning around, not even one glance at the food you had prepared before he disappeared down the hallway.

oh.

so he really had forgotten, even though the two of you would joke around a lot you knew he would never take things this far. not to the point where your eyes were glued to the floor and it felt like you couldn’t breathe because of the way your heart was literally breaking in your chest, not to the point where it felt like the person who you deemed the most important on the planet didnt give a shit about you.

suna clicked his tongue running his hands through his hair in exasperation as he thought about the way he just treated you. truly, he didn’t know what his problem was, there was just so much pressure on him lately and it seemed to be building up from every corner of his life, except from you, so why did he always take things out on you? the one he cared about most? the one he would do anything for? maybe it’s because he knew there would be no serious consequences, or so he thought. regardless, he would apologise to you soon when he calmed down, you didn’t deserve all the shit he was putting you through and he would make sure you knew exactly what you meant to him.

but what he didn’t know is how you were standing in the kitchen with a hole in your heart. there wasn’t much you could do now, he barely let you speak and you weren’t really up to reminding him of the fact it was your birthday, especially if he didn’t care to hear it.

you sighed making your way to the fridge pulling out a chocolate cake, you had gotten it because you knew it was suna’s favourite flavour and he was particularly picky when it came to cakes even though it was your birthday.

“i might as well still celebrate.” you mumbled to yourself, tears making their way down your face. maybe for another day you could pretend that everything was okay.

you picked up some candles from the drawer and stuck them into the cake softly, it was a miracle how you could still keep your composure regardless of what had just happened. sighing you lit them up, in a way it was such a tragic sight to see. in everyone else’s eyes you had everything you could have ever wanted in life, people looked up to you and yet here you were, feeling like the most lonely person on the planet.

“happy birthday to me.” you whispered with a sad smile and glossy eyes before blowing out the candles.

tragic indeed.

“y/n?” suna turned the corner raising an eyebrow at your state. he could tell you were crying and as much as it hurt him it also shocked him, he had said mean things to you before but you didn’t usually cry over them even though they clearly caused you pain. it took everything in him not to hit his head against the wall right now, you were in this state because of how he dismissed you.

you looked up at him, your eyes were void of the excitement they held when you had saw him earlier and he took note of it. “oh rintarō, do you want cake?” your tone was curious but your expression was deadpan, and to suna it was scary.

“i came to apologise.” he began making his way towards you glancing at the cake several times, why were you blowing out candles?

that’s when it hit him. what day is it today? he wasn’t sure he hasn’t been very perceptive of time lately but he did know it was your birthday month.

his heart dropped.

had he really neglected you this much lately that he had forgotten your own birthday? and he had the audacity to call himself your boyfriend.

“y/n, i’m so sorry i don’t know how i forgot-“

“save it rin, i see things clearly now, thank you.” you turned to make your way out of the kitchen but he was onto you before you were even able to.

“you see things clearly? what do you mean? y/n, i know i’ve been a shitty boyfriend lately and forgetting your birthday is unforgivable but please don’t say what i think you’re about to.” he clenched his jaw pulling your hand into his chest.

“what do you want me to do? ealier you didn’t even let me speak, is it something i did? do you hate me?” you asked with tears streaming down your face, you couldn’t pretend anymore.

“no, no, don’t ever think that, you’re perfect, you’re everything i could ever ask for, you’re not the problem you never have been.” he embraced you, wrapping his arms so tightly as if the moment he let go you would be gone.

“so why don’t you care about me anymore?” the broken tone in your voice was sending suna off the rails, he couldn’t believe he was the cause of this, he hated himself.

“that’s not true, i do care about you, i love you, you’re everything to me, you don’t even know how much you mean to me.” he pulled away to cup your face, this time you could see the sincerity in his eyes, the genuine interest, the adoration. “fuck, i’ve just been under pressure and i’ve taken it out on you, i can’t even tell you how sorry i am.”

“give me another chance to be better to you y/n, please don’t leave me i can’t live without you.” he fell to his knees, still holding your hand in his.

“rin-“

“please” he begged, a look of anguish prominant on his features as if he expected you to say no.

“get up rin.” you watched as he rose slowly, anxiety engulfing him as he couldn’t anticipate your answer. “i’ll give you another chance, always.”

“thank you.” he kissed your forehead before bringing you back into his arms.

“what are you doing?” you frowned watching as he brought out his phone and began texting.

“i just told my coach i’m taking a week off, i swear i’ll make this up to you, happy birthday y/n.”

you smiled at the thought of having your boyfriend to yourself for an entire week for the first time in ages, maybe your birthday wouldn’t be so bad afterall.

“tell me what you want princess, anything at all.. do you want to go out of the country? you wanted to see paris right?”

you chuckled at his words as he wiped your tears, looking at you with eyes full of love. “i don’t care what we do, as long as i’m with you.”

“well first how about i have cake with the love of my life?” he turned to the chocolate cake on the dining table before relighting the candles. “how about you do this properly this time hmm?”

“i would like that.” you smiled.

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manonblaqkbeak · 3 years ago

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Motel Living

this idea would not leave me alone, despite me having like three other fics barely done. it is very random. i dont even know what to say lol.

2554 words

enjoy!

Today was officially the one month anniversary of Aelin moving into a three-star motel. She did not think she'd be here for long, a couple of weeks at most, but here she was a month later, and on a Friday night no less. She should have been out with her friends, but she opted to stay inside.

She had to tell herself that she shouldn't complain. That there were people that were worse off than her. Living in a motel was fine.

But it still didn't change the fact that Aelin wished she wasn't living in a motel room. Especially one that was popular with long haul truckers whose snores sounded like chain saws and blenders on the highest level. That right now, down in the restaurant/pub that was only six doors down, an important football game was playing and the patrons inside were cheering wildly.

Aelin missed the house that she had been renting the last three years. Last year she had decided to start saving so that she could purchase the house itself, since it was still on the market since the day she moved in. It was hard, but Aelin was a determined woman and she set her sights on purchasing the house—she felt like she practically owned it anyway—up until the day she received a call from the real estate agency telling her that the house had been purchased and she had to move out.

Aelin disliked crying, but the waterworks started the minute she hung up. She really did love that house. Had created a small vegetable and herb garden to make it feel more homely. Made it hers in the three years she had occupied it.

There was a tiny silver-lining, however, since the new owners were coming from the other side of the continent, she had plenty of time to pack and move out.

But that silver-lining quickly disappeared once she started her search for a new home in-between packing and work. Every apartment, every house, every unit she looked out at was taken by the time she handed in her application. Every inspection starting to become fruitless when she knew that she wouldn't be the one to live in it.

Aelin hadn't realised that the market had become so cut-throat. She knew she was the perfect applicant because in all her years renting she never missed a single day, never received a complaint. Even when the landlord dragged his ass to fix something, Aelin kept her temper in its leash and did not throttle him the way she wanted too.

And as her luck ran out and Aelin had started to truly worry about where she was going to live because while she had multiple people in her life, she quickly realised that she couldn't ask any of them if she could move in for multiple reasons:

Aedion and Lysandra were recently married, and Aelin hadn't wanted to burst their newlywed bubble.

Chaol and Yrene were brand new parents, their baby girl born the day Aelin moved out, and she knew the last thing they wanted was someone else in the way.

Nehemia was in the same position as her, but her parents had invited her back home while Nehemia looked for somewhere else. Aelin's parents were dead, and her childhood home had been destroyed in a wildfire a five years ago, and Aelin had used the insurance money to pay off her debts. She cursed herself now for doing that, but Aelin hated being in debt and she did what she had too.

Fenrys lived in a one bedroom unit and had the worlds most uncomfortable couch, so he was out. And while Fenrys was one of her best friends, she didn't really talk with Connall, his twin. Nor did she often talk with Vaughn.

Dorian and Manon were travelling all over Erilea and Dorian's younger brother Hollin was house-sitting. Aelin couldn't stand Hollin for more than a few minutes at a time and she would rather live in the motel for a year than live in with him.

And then there was Rowan. He had been a close friend for years, until five months ago they decided that they had liked each other too much to keep being friends and officially started dating (at Lysandra and Aedion's wedding, of all places). If they had been together for longer, she would have asked him—but she didn't want to rush anything, because Aelin could so clearly see a future with him and she didn't want to hurt that future by moving in far too early in their relationship.

So that left Elide, her lifelong friend that was more like a sister. Elide was purely on the bottom of the list since she knew her friend cherished living alone after living in a shit-hole with her even shittier uncle—but Aelin knew Elide and if Aelin needed a place to stay, then Elide's door would be wide open. The two had gone to lunch and Aelin had been just moments away from telling Elide everything and asking for a world changing favour.

Until Elide had excitedly announced that Lorcan was going to move in.

And Aelin's plan had deflated. Again, Aelin knew that if Elide was aware of how desperate she was, Elide would invite Aelin to stay, but since Lorcan and Aelin didn't particularly get along, Aelin kept her mouth shut and congratulated her friend for the new milestone in their relationship.

So, all her options completely exhausted, Aelin looked for vacant motels, found that this was the best out of all the options and became a long-standing tenant.

Aelin had managed to keep everyone away from her new apartment by claiming that it wasn't ready for visitors. Most knew that Aelin was house-proud, a trait that she had inherited from her late mother, so they knew that when Aelin was ready, she would invite them.

It was getting hard, however, to keep Rowan away. Each date night and hang out ended up at his apartment and Rowan was becoming curious as to how her new place was looking.

Rowan wasn't judgemental, and he wouldn't look down at her for living in a motel room, but Aelin was the problem; she was too proud to show him her new place. Even when she was at her lunch with Elide, she had to beat down her pride at just the mere thought of asking Elide if she could move in.

Tonight, however, Aelin knew in her bones that Rowan would ask to come over. He had a completely shitty day at work—one that ended up in the hospital because for the first time in his career as a carpenter, Rowan had somehow gotten his hand in the way of his nail gun and shot right through the middle of his palm and was off work until it healed, which Rowan hated the most out of the whole ordeal, since Rowan was the type of person that always had to be doing something.

So when his face finally popped up on her phone screen, Aelin muffled a groan into her pillow (because there was no way in hell she was using the standard sheets the motel provided, she needed her bedding or she wouldn't get any sleep), took a deep breath and plastered a smile onto her face.

“How's the hand?” she asked by way of greeting.

“It'd be a lot better if there wasn't a hole in it,” was his groggy reply. “I just woke up from the longest nap and thought of you.”

“That's sweet of you to say,” Aelin said, “do you want me to come over? I could cook you my world famous grilled cheese.” Please say yes, she thought, please.

“As much as I love the sound of that, I just need to get out of my house,” Rowan said, “I know that you're house-proud and if you don't want me to see it, I understand, I'll even wear a blind fold if that'll make you happy, but I just...” he trailed off and Aelin could see his pained expression even though they were miles apart.

“Seeing all your work tools is making you miserable,” she supplied. Rowan grunted in confirmation. Taking a deep breath, Aelin said, “You can come over, I don't mind. I'd be happy to see you.” And she would be. She'd just have to kick her pride in the corner. “There's a pub right around the corner from mine and the cheeseburgers they have are really fucking good, and I mean that sincerely. Do you want me to get you one? Because I only have snacks and canned food at the moment.”

“A burger sounds good, with extra tomato, please.”

Aelin smiled. “Of course, I'll text you the address, and I'll see you soon.”

After ordering their dinner, Aelin tidied up (even though the space was immaculate) and waited, and waited. When a gentle knock sounded at her door, Aelin took the food from the restaurant worker and was just about to go back in when Rowan's truck pulled up.

Even ten car spots away, Aelin could see his puzzled expression from where she stood. Placing the food on the small, round dining table, Aelin waited by the door and gave Rowan her best smile when he stood in front of her.

His puzzled expression melted away momentarily when she kissed him hello, but it was back in full force when they pulled away.

“Fireheart,” was all he said, and it said everything that he didn't say.

“I know.”

“You're living in a motel room.” There was no judgement in his voice, like she knew there wouldn't be, but it was clear that he was confused about the whole thing. She should have just told him. She loved her late mother, but really hated the fact that she had passed her pride to Aelin. She hated the fact that, deep down, she was embarrassed, even if Aelin told herself that she had no reason to. The housing market was insane, there was no where else for her to go, and that she hated herself for not saving more money to buy her home of three years.

“I am,” Aelin said, “but it's not so bad. It's affordable and clean.” Aelin invited him inside and sat him down the small dining table.

From his spot, he took in the space. Saw the bar fridge that could barely hold a bags worth of cold food, her toaster oven and the dual butane stove she had to purchase because she didn't want to have to use the toaster oven all the time. The tiny closet that held a decent amount of clothes, but didn't make a dent in her considerable mountain of clothes that she had put away in the storage unit she was renting.

None of her candles were in sight and no books either. Aelin was taking full advantage of her library apps, but it wasn't the same. Aelin loved the feeling of a book in her hands, but there was no space and it would have been silly to bring in her bookcases.

“Where's all your stuff?”

“In a storage unit. I considered living in there, but it doesn't have an air-conditioner and this place does.”

Before Rowan could say anything, Aelin turned on the TV, put on whatever movie sounded dumb enough and ate her dinner.

Aelin could see the question burning in his eyes as she stuffed her mouth to avoid answering that very question.

Why didn't Aelin ask if she could stay with him?

Aelin wanted to tell him, she really did, but was afraid that if she showed how serious she was, Rowan might admit that he wasn't as serious as her.

But Aelin knew herself, knew that she was going to tell him at one point or another. She could tell Rowan anything and he wouldn't flinch. It was her own doubt stopping her.

“That really is the best burger I've ever had,” Rowan said when he was finished.

“It really is,” was all Aelin could think of to say. Gods, she felt so damned awkward. The question was still in Rowan's eyes, even as he laughed at the movie and its stupidity. So to avoid it for a bit longer, Aelin took the take-away boxes into the dumpster outback and immediately went for a shower afterwards.

When she came out, Rowan was lounging on her bed, his injured hand laying across his chest, the other arm fiddling with her comforter. Aelin dressed in a shirt that she may have borrowed without asking from Rowan and a pair of sleep shorts.

Borrowing underneath her comforter, Aelin rested her head on Rowan's chest and the awkwardness she felt deflated a bit as he pressed a kiss on her head.

Aelin told him how she ended up here. Including her embarrassment and annoyance at herself. Rowan listened attentively, as he always did. That was one of the biggest things she loved about him, that he listened. And Aelin was in love with him, she knew without a doubt. She was certain she fell in love with him when he danced with her at Aedion and Lysandra's wedding.

When the credits started to roll, Aelin took a deep breath and decided to plunge into uncharted territories. She kept her eyes glued onto the screen.

Aelin decided to bite the bullet. If it all went to hell, she would beat herself up later.

“I don't want to fuck things up with you.” Well, that wasn't how she wanted to start this conversation, but she supposed it was the best way to start off. “I wanted to ask you if I could move in, but our relationship is just so new, and I didn't want to ruin our future, because I can see a future with you, Rowan.” Moving so that she could look Rowan in the eye, Aelin took the deepest plunge imaginable and told him, “I love you, Rowan. I'm in love with you.”

The smile he gave her was the most beautiful she'd ever seen. “I love you, too, Aelin.” Reaching down to kiss her, all of Aelin's doubts melted away. When he pulled back, Rowan said softly, “If you wish to ask, I'll say yes. Because I see a future with you too. You're the one for me.”

“Rowan, can I move in with you?”

He kissed her again. “Yes, you can.”

Aelin's cheeks were started to become sore from all her smiling. Maybe it was a good thing after all that she ended up living here.

Hours later, after another bad movie and celebrating the new milestone in their relationship (which was mainly Aelin laughing as she rode Rowan because he kept forgetting about his injured hand), Aelin and Rowan got ready for bed, and as Aelin rested her head on his chest again, she said, “Just to let you know, I'm going to replace your mattress for mine, because yours is hard as stone.”

“That's exactly why I'm letting you move in, I'm in the market for a new mattress.”

Aelin playfully whacked his chest and muttered what a buzzard he was, but soon fell asleep with a smile on her face, ready for her future with Rowan.

#srsly what is this lol #rowaelin #rowaelin fanfiction

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dreamescapeswriting · 4 years ago

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BTS Reaction | Call Me When It’s Over [Song] [Request]

BTS X GN!Reader

A/N: Hope this is okay foryou sweetie! I also hope they make sense!! There won’t be a part 2 to it since it is a song reaction! Sorry guys! I tried to keep it as different from one another as possible x

WARNING: Contains themes of cheating, poor relationship skills, forgetting anniversary,

SEOKJIN: I know at times I’ve made mistakes, wish I could blow them all away

The clock on the wall ticked over and over again and yet Jin still hadn't come home, it had been over four hours since he was supposed to show up and yet he still wasn't here. So much for a happy anniversary. That morning you figured Jin was in a rush to get out of the house in time for work so he could come home earlier for your anniversary but as you sat at the table you realised it wasn't true. You blew out the half-melted candles that were sitting on the table and began to clean up the cold food, putting it into the compost bins before taking the dishes over to the sink to wash up. Normally if Jin was running late you would get some kind of message to tell you but tonight there was nothing. There hadn't even been a text from Jin that day wishing you a happy anniversary which led you to believe that he had forgotten.

"Babe?" You didn't even glance over your shoulder as Jin called out to the house, you didn't even want to have to turn around and look at him right now. It wasn't as though this was the first time it had happened and you knew it wasn't going to be the last. Maybe this is what you should have expected, you knew what his lifestyle was like when you began dating so you couldn't be mad at him forever.

"I know I'm late home, I'm sorry." He whispered as he walked up behind you and placed a small kiss on your cheek thinking you were just mad at him for being late home but you didn't react to his kiss. You did your best to keep your attention on the dishes in front of you but Jin wasn't going to let you stay mad at him forever. He tried to get it out of your what was wrong but you wouldn't answer him. You just stepped away from the sink once the dishes were finished and began to head in the direction of the bathroom he followed after you. Sprouting off different apologises as you continued to ignore him since he clearly hadn't realised what the day was and what it was you were upset with him about.

"You have to talk to me sooner or later," Jin told you as you laid down in the bed beside him, snuggling down into the sheets as you hummed in response. This was the first time you had even acknowledged that he was even in the house with you and he felt somewhat relieved even if you weren't talking to him.

"Do you even know why I'm upset?" You asked as you continued to lay there together, staring at the ceiling in silence as you waited for the penny to finally drop.

"I was late-"

"It's our anniversary." You cut him off and Jin's face fell flat, he stared at you as you continued to stare up at the ceiling ready to go to bed but Jin wasn't going to let you. He sat up and turned on the lights,

"Babe...I-I'm sorry, I don't know what I completely blanked." He mumbled as he turned to look at you to make sure you were okay. You shook your head mumbling to him that it was okay and you were used to it but he refused to let that be. He took your hand in his own,

"I'll take some time off, I'll make it up to you...I know I've made mistakes in the past and I know I can't blow them all away but I will try to fix them..." He promised as he looked at you with a sad expression on his face, you smiled weakly and leant across to kiss him on the lips softly.

YOONGI: Won’t you believe me when I say I’m so much better now I’ve changed

Yoongi sat across from you in the small booth of the cafe you were sitting in, he had a guilty look written across his face as he locked eyes with you for the first time in three months. Three months since you walked out of your shared apartment and never looked back at him again. Three months since it felt like your whole world had come crashing down around you. Now you were sitting across from him as you waited to hear what he had to say to you after all this time.

"What did you want to talk about?" You asked as you played with the charms that were attached to your small bracelet, doing anything to distract you from reaching out to touch Yoongi and hold him. The gut-wrenching feeling of being in the same room as him for the first time was starting to eat you away from the inside out. Today was supposed to be about dropping your items off to one another and then leaving but he wanted to "talk" to you. Taking you into a small cafe where he could possibly buy you and drink and talk but you ordered a taxi the moment you got inside just to have the excuse to leave.

"I wanted to see how you were doing..." It was the truth. Yoongi wanted to see how things were going after your break-up. Unlike you, Yoongi seemed to be doing really well. It looked as though he was getting some sleep instead of lying awake every night wondering where it all went wrong. In a way you wanted him to feel the same pain you were feeling but you knew deep down inside of you that he wouldn't be since he'd been the one that ended everything.

"I'd be lying if I said I was okay..." You admitted to him as you looked out of the window behind him, your taxi had pulled up five minutes ago and the driver looked as though he was getting impatient of waiting for you. Tapping his hands on the wheel and checking the time every couple of seconds.

"Yoongi if that's all I have to leave-" As you went to stand up your placed your palm flat on the table but Yoongi stretched out his hand to touch you, running his hand over the top of yours for the first time in months. The usual sparks you would feel when he did that had gone, it was left with nothing but a dull sensation where his hand was resting on your skin.

"Won’t you believe me when I say I’m so much better now? I’ve changed..." The words left his mouth but you just stared at his hand on top of yours you just slowly removed your hand from under his and looked over at the window trying not to give into him.

"People don't just change over the space of three months Yoongi," You mumbled as you began to twist the bracelet off your wrist before dropping it into his hand and turning to leave the cafe.

"But I have, I've changed and it'll never happen again..." The It that he was referring to was the fact that he had cheated on you multiple times while he was away on tour. Different people, different times but always when he was away from you and on tour with the guys. Leaving you to find out through multiple private messages with people with evidence of what he had been doing. Then when you confronted him he had the nerve to deny it all before finally admitting to everything and telling you it would never happen again. But that was what they always said.

"That's what cheaters always say," You whispered before leaving out of the door and never looking back at him again. If you turned around you wouldn't be able to trust yourself not to give in and go back to him but you couldn't do that to yourself. It wasn't worth going through all of the heartbreak and trust issues all over again just because he told you that he had changed.

HOSEOK: Call me when its over, tell me when you’re done

Another crash sounded as Hoseok stormed his way through the house during your fight with one another, he was your best friend and boyfriend of a month but that didn't mean that you never fought with one another. Couples and friends fought all of the time and just because you and Hoseok had been friends for years didn't mean you didn't fight.

"Hoseok you're blowing this out of proportion," You mumbled as you watched him scoff at you and shakes his head at you not believe what you were saying to him.

"How could you be so stupid?!" You ignored his insult about being stupid as you bent down to pick up your ex-boyfriend's things that Hoseok was kicking over. This was what the fight was about because you were continuing to let him keep his stuff with you despite him being an unfaithful arsehole to you and you moving on with Hoseok. You and your ex weren't friends and it wasn't as if you saw him in the apartment. He just kept all of his junk there because he was too lazy to move it out.

"He needed somewhere to keep his stuff..I-I couldn't kick him out onto the street Hobi that isn't me." You told him as you looked over at him with pleading eyes, Hoseok knew it wasn't in your nature to be mean to anybody even people that hurt you which was what annoyed him the most. It was as if you didn't care that people walked all over you as though you were a back doormat. He knew there would only be one way to get through to you and it was through tough love.

"Call me when it's over Y/n and you're done playing into his games." He called out as he went to storm out of the house the only thing stopping him from leaving was your hand around his wrist. Begging him not to leave you like this,

"You need to get him out..." He whispered as he turned to look at you, you had tears in your eyes as you pleaded with him to stay with you.

"B-But he has nowhere-" As you were going to give him the same excuse again he dismissed it by taking your hand off his wrist and went to open the door.

"Then I won't stay-" You slammed your body against Hoseok to stop him from moving and you sobbed softly,

"I'll pack it all up and tell him I won't keep it here anymore." You promised him as you kissed his back softly waiting for him to turn around and embrace you.

"I'm sorry I made you cry," He whispered as he turned around in your arms and hugged you tightly, kissing the top of your head as he promised to help you whenever you needed it.

NAMJOON: I heard you’re seeing someone new and I hope he treats you good

Namjoon thought it was your voice when he heard it, he turned around to see you standing with your friends as you waited in line to get something to eat. He was in the small cafe in the middle of Seoul with the rest of his band members for the day and he hadn't even expected to run into you. The moment he looked at you and knew that it was you in the cafe it felt as though his world was slowing down and you were moving in slow motion. He kept his eyes trained on you as you turned around and smiled brightly at your friends. Your eyes catching Namjoon in a glimpse as you turned to him,

"Joonie?!" You cried out after seeing your old best friend after almost seven years. Seven years since he left to make it big in the world but there was something no one besides you and Namjoon knew and that was that you weren't just best friends but that you had dated.

"Y/n?" He called out as he opened his arms for you, allowing you to run and jump into them as he took you into a warm embrace. Smiling at the thought of holding you in his arms again, he breathed in your scent and smiled to himself.

"It's been so long!" He announced as you pulled away from one another staring at each other as your friends watched awkwardly from behind you having no idea who he was.

"I know, I've missed you. How are things?" He smiled as he began explaining how things were and then asked you the same thing. As if he didn't already know how things with you were going. His friends were still in touch with you so he'd already been told about your great news.

"I heard you're seeing someone new, I hope he's treating you good." He laughed softly and you nodded at him, raising your hand to show your engagement ring to him.

"He treats me great, are you seeing anybody?" Before he could answer you Jimin called his name from their table and you smiled awkwardly, telling him that you should catch up again sometime soon quickly jotting your number down onto the back of his hand before scurrying off in the direction of your friends.

"Was that them?" Jimin questioned as Namjoon made his way over to their table, sitting down with a blank expression on his face.

"Yep," He announced casually as he glanced over in your direction again, you were leaving the coffee shop without a second thought about Namjoon. Happy in your own world.

"The first person I ever loved," Namjoon whispered as he looked back down to the table and shook his head at himself.

JIMIN: Hope it don’t go the way it should, hope he don’t treat you like I could

Tonight was supposed to be a nice night out with friends but now Jimin was spending it anxiously watching you as you threw your head back in laughter at something that Hoseok was saying to you. It probably wasn't as funny as you were making it out to be. What was he thinking? He knew that he was supposed to be happy for the both of you since you'd just announced that the two of you were dating but he couldn't help but feel hurt by it. Betrayed that two of his best friends would do this to him right behind his back. Jimin had been your best friend since both of you could remember and he'd been in love with you since he even knew what feelings meant but he'd never been the one to tell you. Now watching you with Hoseok he wished he would have told you, he hoped Hoseok and you would end soon so that he could show you how you were supposed to be treated.

"You okay there?" You giggled as you noticed that Jimin's grip on his glass was getting so tight that his knuckles were beginning to turn a white colour. He snapped out of his daydream and nodded at you,

"Perfect." He lied as he looked down at the liquid in his glass instead of at you and Hoseok, Hoseok's arm was wrapped around you tightly as he held onto you. Deep down Jimin knew there was no use acting like an immature teenager but he couldn't help but feel this way about it when he was watching the two of you together. The small kisses, and touches here there and everywhere just seemed to fuel him more jealously than before.

"Do you want to get some air with me? It's stuffy in here," You whispered as you leaned closer to Jimin, wanting to give Hoseok some time with the boys while you went to hang out with Jimin for a while.

The two of you stood outside while you tried to catch your breath, Jimin looked at you as he ran his tongue along his bottom lip. Wondering if he told you now that he wanted to be with you would you hate him? If he kissed you right now, would you hold it against him.

"You've been so quiet, that's not like you Jimini," You tried to bring some conversation to the air but your best friend just seemed to brush it away as though it was nothing when you could clearly see there was something playing in his mind.

"Jimin you can't lie to me-"

"I'm in love with you. I'm in love with you and I don't want you and Hoseok to be together." The world seemed to come to a crashing halt right in front of him as he stared at you waiting for you to say something. Had he even said it out loud? You were just staring at him in silence as the door to the bar opened and Hoseok appeared,

"Everything okay babe?" He questioned looking between you and Jimin as you stood there in silence staring at one another.

"Yeah. Jimin was just leaving." You mumbled as you turned to join Hoseok at the door but Jimin took hold of your wrist,

"Don't. Jimin, just go before I tell him what you said...I thought we were friends...Friends are supposed to be happy for each other." You mumbled as you took your wrist out of his grasp and heading into the bar, leaving Jimin staring at the door as he closed behind you.

TAEHYUNG: I can be the shoulder, the shoulder you cry on

Taehyung sighed to himself as he saw you laying there on the dorm sofa as he walked, he'd heard you fighting with your boyfriend over the phone and he waited until he knew you had hung up to walk inside.

"Hey," He whispered softly as he placed a mug of hot chocolate down onto the coffee table in front of you and forced you to sit up, sliding himself down onto the sofa so your head was laying on his thighs.

"Hi." You mumbled as you sniffled a little, trying not to sound as upset as you were over the fight you had just had. Whenever you would fight with your boyfriend Taehyung would be the one that was there for you no matter what. Even if he really wanted to beat up your boyfriend for always playing around with your heart. See the thing is, Taehyung had been in love with you since you were ten years old and running around the playground together. Growing up together and becoming the best of friends even as adults.

"I don't get it, I try so hard and he just blows it up in my face," You sobbed as you sat up on the sofa and laid your head on Taehyung. He sighed as he moved so he could comfortably wrap his arm around your, wanting to do his best to comfort you in your time of need.

"He's an idiot if he doesn't see what he's missing out on," He whispered as you continued to cry into his shoulder and shake your head.

"You'll make up though, you always do." He whispered again but you sat up and stared at him while shaking your head.

"Not this time...He's with someone else." Taehyung's blood began to boil at the thought of your boyfriend moving on to someone new when you'd only just had a fight.

"What?!" He yelled out as he began to get red in the face with anger, you placed your hand onto Tae's shoulder to calm him down but it was past the point of calming him.

"How could he cheat?!"

"I-I know he was with her...H-He said he wanted to try and an open relationship," Suddenly Taehyung had his anger directed at you at the mere thought of letting your boyfriend do that to you.

"Why would you let him-" He didn't bother to continue with the question when he saw how upset you were, his mind went numb at the thought of you allowing someone to hurt you like that.

"Sometimes people hurt the ones they love," You whined out but Taehyung shook his head at you,

"I love you and I would never hurt you..."He whispered without realising what he was saying out loud to you for the first time.

"But you don't love me the way he does..." As soon as Taehyung heard the words leave your mouth he knew that it was now or never. He either had to tell you now that he loved you or hold it in for the rest of his life,

"You're right. I don't love you the way he does, I love you with all of my heart and I would never do anything to hurt you." The world seemed to slow down as you lifted your head from his shoulder to look into his eyes. Without a second thought you leant closer to him until your lips touched and kissed him, worries about your ex-boyfriend slipped from your mind as Taehyung wrapped his arm around you and laid you down against the sofa.

JUNGKOOK: I’ve only got myself to blame

Jungkook stared at you as he watched you packing everything up into boxes and bags getting ready to leave him and the dorm room. Your best friend was sitting in the car waiting for you and ready to give you the "I told you so" speech that she'd no doubt had planned from the moment you told her about your deal with Jungkook. The deal being some college game where you pretended to date one another, the first one to fall in love loses, the first one to say "I love you" was out on their ass. You figured you could win, before Jungkook you were cold-hearted and didn't care about anyone else but there was just something about him that made it all so different. He made you feel things that no one had ever made you feel before and you thought you had the same effect on him.

"What did you think was going to happen?" Jungkook remarked in a cocky tone as he continued to watch you pack up everything, his voice used to send butterflies to your stomach but now it sent shivers down your spine. Tossing all of the cute items you got on your "dates" and all of your clothes into a box you moved past him, choosing to ignore him as you wanted this to be over as soon as possible.

"That I would tell you I love you back? It was all a game remember," If you'd have known how cocky and arrogant he was going to be after you told him that you loved him you never would have told him. Not that you should have told him in the first place, it could have continued on but you knew ultimately you would have ended up hurt a lot worse than this. As you were about to turn around and say something your best friend spoke out, she'd been wondering what was taking so long and came to make sure you weren't begging Jungkook to love you back.

"Leave it alone Jungkook." She snapped as she stood in the doorway of his dorm helping you take your bags out to her car as she waited for Jungkook to say something she could snap back at him for. The speech was still ready in the back of her mind but she was going to wait until you'd at least had time to heal from Jungkook before telling you that she told you so. Everything between you and Jungkook had felt so real, it felt as though he loved you back but now you knew better. You knew he was just playing a different angle of the game so that he could win at it.

The door to his dorm shut and you were sitting in the front of your best friends car waiting for her to pull out of the driveway and take you home so you could cry in peace.

"Y/n-"

"I've only got myself to blame," You cut her off as you put your seatbelt on and stared out of the window watching the passing traffic and streets. Doing anything and everything to keep your mind off of Jungkook.

Tagline: @lyoongx @mitzwinchester @fan-ati--c @rjsmochii @kneel-begyourpardon @taestannie @that-anxious-bisexual @innersooya @sw33tnight @sweeneyblue1 @agustdjoon @jin-from-the-block @acciocriativity

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urijihoons-blog · 4 years ago

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Bokuto: Clarity

/ Kōtarō Bokuto x reader /

genre: pure angst

wc: 1399

summary: It’s your anniversary with Bokuto and you surprise him at a tournament, but someone’s been lying to you.

warnings: sadness

a/n: Hehehehehe I wrote something and it’s full of ✨angst✨

///

All you can hear are the clicking of your shoes on the airport tile.

You’ve had this trip planned for a while, and have everything down to a t. You arrive at the airport right after his volleyball match ends, which by the excited texts he’s been sending you (and the fact that you followed the score online during your flight) his team won his match. Just as you assumed, you expected nothing less. You would grab food from this barbecue place around his hotel that he’s been talking about constantly every night you two FaceTime, and you would surprise him. You would spend this night together, watch his final match tomorrow, and explore the city in next couple of days.

You haven’t seen him in a while, 2 and a half weeks to be exact, because he’s been at this combo training camp/tournament. This distance, this time between you, it isn’t new. It’s his job, and you fully respect that. You still talked on the phone everyday, FaceTimed every other day, and texted constantly. He’s a very attentive person, especially when he misses you.

Tonight is no different. You FaceTimed him while secretly closing your bakery for the night, right before his semifinal game. You gave him as much encouragement as you could over the phone, knowing it still meant a lot to him to have your support. You received text messages immediately after the game, reading them while you sit in the taxi on the way to get dinner. His texts outline every detail, every spike, every rally, every wish that you could’ve been there in the crowd. But he understood why, he understands that you can’t just abandon your business, not for his volleyball game, even if it is your anniversary.

You look down at the ring, turning it over and over around your finger. That’s the whole reason you’re doing this anyways. You closed up shop early to be able to leave and celebrate his win and your 4 years of dating, which would come to an end because of your wedding soon. Butterflies flutter in your stomach just thinking about it.

The cab suddenly stops and you get out, leaving the money behind. You pick up his order quickly, taking brisk steps. You can see the hotel sign just a block down. Its only been a few minutes and you’re already in the building, going up the elevator. You check previous texts, ‘Babe, you know I always stay in room 428. Just in case you ever want to surprise me :) xx’ And, finally, you could do just that. Give him the love and support and encouragement in person, instead of through a screen. The thought of seeing him made you halfway sprint down the hall, your rolling suitcase struggling to stay on its wheels behind you.

You slow as you see the room numbers closing in. It’s happening. You stand in front of the door and look down at yourself. You straighten out your sweater and run your fingers through your hair, trying to look at least halfway presentable. He won’t care, he just misses you. He says it everyday, multiple times a day. He just wants you. Giving yourself this little reminder, you knock on the door. For a second, you realize he may be out with his teammates, but then you hear the shuffle of footsteps.

“-yeah, and this must be our room service!” He opens the door and stares at you in utter shock. Your eyes take him in. His hair was down and wet and you could smell his body wash from the foot of distance between you, he must have just stepped out of the shower. Shirtless, but had on basketball shorts. A normal night. His golden eyes were bright with surprise, but his body stiffened, and his face looked.. scared? Concerned?

Maybe he was just confused.

“Bo!” You beamed, taking a step towards him, “I missed-“

“What’d you get us?” You heard a smooth voice purr from behind him. Your muscles instantly went rigid, and your eyebrows furrowed. Who-

And then you saw it.

A slim hand crept around his torso from behind, a face suddenly appearing from behind his shoulder. Her hair was wet, and her smile dripped with poison. She wore nothing but a towel hugging tightly around her body, and her hair was wet.

Your eyes stung with tears, and you were seeing red. You pushed through them both, neither of them giving much resistance. Storming into the room, you go straight to the bathroom, snatch the unnamed girl’s clothing, making sure they were drenched, and walked back into the suite. Bokuto’s sitting on the bed, as still and silent as a statue, covering his face with his hands. The girl, who once looked at you with a little smirk, now looks at you in unbelief. You shove past her, open the door gripping her arm, force her into the hallway, and drop the sopping clothes at her feet. The door slams in the girl’s face before she can even begin to protest her exile.

Silence envelopes the room as your back slides down the door frame. You finally let out the sob that has been tearing at your throat, and Bokuto immediately looks up. Getting up from the bed, he takes careful steps and finally rests on his knees in front of you. “Y/N,” his voice almost breaking, but just as he tries to take your hand, you flinch. “Please.”

You shake your head, barely being able to look at him through the tears welling up in your eyes, the nausea and disgust filling your stomach. “no.” You barely let out, turning your face from him. You feel his hot tears fall onto your hands.

The silence returns, along with pain and regret. You sit there for God knows how long, and finally decide on your next move. As soon as you stand up, Bokuto is there beside you, trying to comfort you, trying to explain himself. His words are muffled to you, only bits and pieces come through what feels like a glass barrier between you two. You grab your purse, and take out the box containing his anniversary present. “it was only for tonight-“, “-means nothing to me”, “let me fix this”, “I can make this right”.

You stop dead in your tracks, you hand clutching the doorknob. You think over your next course of action, but continue on your way. You grab your suitcase, and stalk down the hall. He continuously tries to stop you without grabbing you, a fear of seeing you flinch under his touch. Instead, he tries to grab your suitcase, questioning you, “Where are you going?”, “Seriously, Y/N, where are you going?”, “Don’t go out there by yourself, it isn’t safe this late at night”, “let me go with you, I’ll keep you safe”. His words are still muffled to you, and you wonder if that will ever return back to normal. For now, that doesn’t matter. You don’t know if it will ever matter. You reach the elevators and press the down button.

“please say something to me, Y/N”.

That was clear, no muffle or fuzz to his voice. Crystal clear. There was a need in his tone, a desperate need, but what was it exactly? You decide not to dwell on it. Instead, you turn around and look at him one last time. His hair is tousled down, his eyes bloodshot and slightly puff from crying, and his face red and melancholy. His tall, muscular frame that normally stands tall and proud is slouched. He looks as though he’s lost. You reach out a hand to cup his face, running your thumb under his eye to catch the tears. Bokuto closes his heavy eyes, leaning into the warmth of your touch, grasping his hand over yours. The elevator door dings, it’s time.

“Happy anniversary, my love.” You whisper with a sad smile, feeling your own cheeks become wet with tears. You step onto the elevator before the door closes, before he can realize that you’re actually leaving, before he can stop you.

The face he made when he looked up in between the closing doors was one of horror. He took a step forward, “Please, I-“ was all you heard before they completely closed in on you. Leaving you as alone as you came.

///

Should I make a part 2? 🧐

Update: here’s part 2 :)

#haikyuu!!#bokuto #bokuto x reader #bokuto koutarou #bokuto x y/n #bokuto koutarou x reader #haikyuu #haikyu x reader #haikyū!!#haikyuu hcs #bokuto x fem!reader #haikyuu angst #bokuto angst

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princessofprocrastination · 4 years ago

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I Messed Up Didn’t I? (Dream)

MASTERLIST

pairing : dreamwastaken x singer!reader (angst)

summary : after the breakup, he sees that you’re growing as a singer, while he’s suffering alone, but you don’t think that about him, seeing he’s growing on youtube.

a/n : you’re replacing gwen in the voice!

hey! this isn’t going to be the only part! stay tuned for more!

it ended after an argument. he was constantly on his computer, and would forget every important day. from your birthday, to your anniversaries, he forgot them all.

he even would disregard it, saying it wasn’t important anyway, that everyday could be a special day. that hurt you a lot. you two have been together for a long time and you didn’t want to lose it. you couldn’t afford to lose him, not like this.

sometimes it felt like he didn’t love you anymore, that he didn’t feel the same anymore. it hurt to see him on his phone, or on discord call with his friends.

you thought his friends were amazing and supportive, but his friends took away your limited time together, and hurt like a bitch.

at first, you were okay with his constant video games, knowing that’s his job now, and that he’s been supportive of you, and you should be supportive of him too.

at first, it had been tough, you brought in the money, paid for the bills, bought groceries since you were making money through music. you weren’t stingy, you are totally fine with spending money for him, but it felt wrong at the same time.

your mum always told you never settle for a guy, that he would do things for you if he wanted to. and that stuck to you, but you love dream, with everything in you. you couldn’t afford to leave him, to break this long time relationship.

you two had been there for each other since the roots. and to see it crumble like this hurt a lot.

he didn’t notice. he didn’t care enough to ask you how your day went anymore. he was too busy on his computer.

you made the effort. you asked him the usual questions, to which he’s reply with a ‘’m fine’ or simply not answer. you brought him food whenever you notice he’s been skipping meals to sit on his desk.

you got him a new monitor, gaming chair, a new desk. everything he could’ve ever wanted. if it made him happy, you’d buy it, even if it took time away from you together.

he didn’t notice how you’re slipping away, barely talking to him, barely even sleeping on the same bed anymore. he didn’t notice the constant emails on your phone. or maybe he did, and he didn’t care.

he didn’t notice that you two were basically living separate lives in the same house. he didn’t notice that you were thinking about leaving.

it never occurred to dream that you’d snap one day, that you’d leave him. it never occurred to him that you’d buy your own house one day and leave him, alone in his house.

it started small, you invited him to go to a dinner you had with your producers. he said he would left out, so you let him be, understanding it completely.

then you’d ask multiple times for him to just get out of that chair and eat dinner with you, even if it’s just once. you told him you missed him, yet he still pushed you away.

you didn’t understand where the relationship went wrong. you tried your best to work it out, talk it through, but it seemed like he didn’t even want it anymore, judging by the way he’s acting.

he says it’s just a part of the relationship, getting comfortable. but you didn’t think getting comfortable meant that you both didn’t talk to each other all day. you didn’t want this type of comfortable.

“just this once, let’s go get dinner. we can go eat at your favourite place.” you begged him.

“no, i want to finish editing, can’t you go yourself, maybe bring me takeout?” he replies to you.

“i could but i just want to spend time with you.” you begged again, almost whining.

“just go, we spend so much time together anyway.” dream tells you, almost out of anger.

“we haven-” you tried to say before getting cut off.

“OMG JUST LEAVE, I’M STRESSED OUT RIGHT NOW, LEAVE” he screams at you.

“i just-” you tried again, almost crying at that point.

“LEAVE.” he scolded again.

you left the room quietly, not wanting a screaming fest to start again.

you sat on your shared bed. thinking about what went wrong. how did your relationship become this bad.

you packed a bag. you didn’t care about your clothes, you could always buy new ones. you didn’t bother packing much, just the necessities.

you walked out the door, grabbing your car keys on your way out.

as you started you car, you sat there for a while. this was it huh?

you told yourself that you made the right decision getting a house before this argument came.

you didn’t mean to hide it away from him, in fact, you wanted to bring it up during dinner, but since the dinner invitation didn’t work, you didn’t bother.

the longer you drove, the more sad you became. tears trickled down your cheeks as you drove silently to a hotel before needing to sit a long drive from florida to california.

you sat on the hotel bed, thinking about dream. you hated ending it this way. you didn’t even think this would end. you were planning to get married, for god’s sake.

you cried even more thinking about it.

you felt alone. but you knew you still had friends who supported you. but it felt like there was a void left unfilled after you left that house.

maybe it’s for the best.

DREAM’S POV

i heard the door close. i heard it all. i heard her packing her stuff. but i don’t know why i didn’t stop her. i was too busy streaming.

it didn’t hit me until a couple days later. and when the days came, it was too late.

i knew i messed up.

when i told george and sapnap, they were furious. they said they warned me before. they asked why i’m not looking for her.

i told them it’s cause i knew you were no where near me.

i knew i messed up.

terribly.

YOUR POV

months went by so quick.

the hold in your chest unhealed. but you knew you needed to get over it.

you saw twitter, instagram, youtube. you saw that he had been blowing up.

over 13 million subscribers. you were impressed. you were immensely proud of him. you wish you were there to celebrate it with him. but you weren’t.

fortunately for you, months after you moved to california, you were offered to be a judge on the voice.

you didn’t waste a second telling your team to say yes. you grew up watching the voice. and plus, you got to meet the john legend, kelly clarkson and blake sheldon. who would miss that opportunity.

you spent a while trying to settle down in your new house. it was huge. huge for one person. but you needed it, the time alone.

you liked it peaceful and quiet, it helped you heal slowly. it helped you to move on.

you came out with a full album since then, which ended up being a hit. you were super grateful for the love you’ve been getting.

now, you sat in one of the judges chairs for blind auditions.

your hairstylist was making sure your hair was fully sprayed and looked good. you made small conversation with her, thanking her for making you look good for the camera.

there was a camera for each judge. you looked into the one right in front of you and said. “holy shit i can’t believe i’m here.”

john, who sat next to you laughed at your antics. you glanced at him and gave him a grin.

“we’re ready.” the producer said to the judges, signaling that they were starting.

audition after audition, you met amazing artists.

“you’re amazing and i used my block on john for you. if you didn’t know, he’s a little scary when he’s competitive. i would love for you to be on my team.” you said to an amazing singer you turned your chair for.

she sung an r&b song, to which got a four chair turn, but you were desperate. you needed her.

“um, oh my god, this is hard.” she said to us, before choosing her mentor.

kelly and blake chimed in, making her turn her head to look at them.

“no. please, don’t listen or look at them, just me.” you said to her, practically begging.

john laughed at this and said. “holy shit, you’re that desperate?”

“yes, john, i love her.” you laughed along with the other two judges.

“well-” the artist started. you crossed your fingers, hoping that she would pick you. you had a good chance as john was blocked. but kelly was good competition too, not counting out blake.

“i pick.” she paused.

“oh my god, spit it out already.” i screamed and laughed a little.

“i pick y/n” she announced.

“HOLY SHIT YES.” you stood from your chair and jumped a little, excited.

“you losers.” you told the other three judges.

“yeah, yeah, whatever,” kelly played along.

blind auditions went along really smoothly.

you’ve seen your face plastered all over the voice’s instagram and twitter. they even posted a clip of you being excited after getting picked as a mentor for the r&b artist.

you were having a blast. your family from back home would facetime you and congratulate you or laugh at the stupid things you did on tv.

what you didn’t know was that dream had seen them all. after all, he hadn’t paid attention to you before, why start now? your little jumps on your judge seat as you waited for the next audition. your little shouts to amazing singers auditioning.

he was proud, to say the least.

in this couple of months, he’d seen you grow into a young and successful woman. he was sad that he couldn’t be there to congratulate you through all your achievements.

but that’s what he gets for abandoning his one and only love.

at first, he didn’t even look into what you were doing. not until a few weeks after you left, george and sapnap had said something along the lines of your name and you being a judge on the voice.

them two had been purposely teasing him. they knew that he treated you like absolute shit before you left and they made it a thing to make sure clay knew that.

you weren’t in contact with dream for obvious reasons but you facetimed george and sapnap constantly, even before and after your shows.

they had been through it all with you. since you were only a couple years older than nick, you two clicked well together, always talking about tiktok trends and the new lingo. but you don’t count off george for being one of your bestfriends.

you actually had shown the camera once or twice when you facetimed george and sapnap. well, now the world knew that you three knew each other. they just didn’t know how you three met.

twitter blew up with lots of hashatgs about you three, talking about ‘when worlds’ collide’.

you thought that was funny. they even asked you to link up and be friends with dream, who you knew was dream, but you’ve always ignored those types of comments.

you saw the ship comments between you and george. you two would laugh it off and constantly say that you two are just friends. he’s your exes bestfriend, that would be awkward.

dream saw it all, the facetime calls are all over the internet. your supporters were shocked to see that you knew each other. they didn’t know that dream and you knew each other though.

he saw that you’ve been ignoring the comments to link up with him. his heart broke at that. but he deserved it. he ignored you for the longest time. now it’s your turn.

his heart broke at the shipping comments between you and george after knowing how often the facetime.

dream knew he deserved it. he deserved all the pain coming to him.

he felt grateful of his new, large following on the internet, but it felt like nothing compared to having you in his arms. why had he taken you for granted?

he was determined to see you again, to ask you to come back. he needed you.

PART TWO!

#dreamwastaken #dream x reader #dream imagines #dream imagine #dream fanfic #sapnap #georgenotfound

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latte-fairytaekwoon · 4 years ago

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𝐴𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑧: 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑧𝑒 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑆/𝑂

♡*:.｡.𝓚𝓲𝓶 𝓗𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓳𝓸𝓸𝓷𝓰 .｡.:*♡

He felt extremely proud of himself. The melody was flowing smoothly and the lyrics were coming to him very naturally. He had been working on this piece for months now and it was finally finished. He listened to the final demo and then quickly grabbed his phone. Dialing the very familiar number, he was not at all shocked that you picked up at the 2nd ring.

"Hey." His heart jumped when your voice sounded through the speaker.

"Hi love. Are you busy?" He really hoped the answer was negative.

"I'm never too busy for you babe. What's up?"

"I finally finished that song I was working on..." He admitted shyly.

"Oh you did? That's great honey! I'll bet it's a masterpiece." Your enthusiasm radiated even through the phone.

"Would you........ do you mind coming over and having a listen?"

"I'd love to! I'll be there in 20 minutes. Love you." You made a kissing noise before hanging up.

It wasn't the first time he's asked you to listen to something he worked on. In fact, you're the first person to listen to any of his creations, he always wants to hear your opinion before anyone else's.

So why is it that this time he's nervous?

It's simple: he's realized he loves you. He loves you, your opinions, your thoughts, everything he creates he feels a need to share it with you and up to a point, have your approval. And you're always so supportive of him and you're his biggest fan.

How could he not fall in love with you?

♡*:.｡.𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓴 𝓢𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝔀𝓪 .｡.:*♡

Seonghwa just wanted to spend time with you. It had been so long since you two had time to be together. So he planned a date for just the two of you. He was happily telling you about wanting to take you out to the park, when San and Yunho poked their heads out the hallway.

"Did you say park?!" "Can we go too?!"

Seonghwa groaned. He wanted you two to be alone. He was about to say no, when the rest of the 99 liners came out, and upon hearing the commotion, they wanted in too. Mingi even dragged out Hongjoong and Jongho so they wouldn't be left out.

Seonghwa looked over at you, afraid to see the look of disappointment in your face. But quite the opposite, you had a gleeful smile.

"Let's bring them along. It'll be more fun."

They all hollered triumphantly, with all of them hugging you in appreciation for consenting to letting them come along. Seonghwa just chuckled at the scene, his heart filled with warmth. And he melted even more when he saw you wrapping a scarf around Jongho, making sure he was covered enough so as to not catch a cold.

Seonghwa loves his members very much and cares for them a lot. He feels happy knowing they adore you and you love them as well. He's seen how you've taken care of them multiple times, and have never complained once.

That's how he knows you're the one. Your loving, caring and motherly nature touched his heart. And to have those close to him as family adore you? Tell tale sign he has to keep you around in his life.

♡*:.｡.𝓙𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓾𝓷𝓱𝓸 .｡.:*♡

Yunho and you had just adopted a puppy together. You two were just walking around one day and stumbled upon a pet store. The most adorable and fluffiest golden retriever was pressing its nose against the window.

"Oh my God! He's the cutest thing I've ever seen!"

You immediately pressed your palm on the window, cooing at the tiny animal.

Yunho chuckled at your reaction. "Let's go inside."

Once inside, you practically ran to the puppy, and immediately wanted to hold it. The store employee helped you to take the pooch out, explaining how he was the last of the litter of golden retrievers that were for sale.

"Awww! Did you hear that Yunho? He's the last one! Do you think we could..?"

You looked at him with puppy eyes yourself, silently asking him to adopt the puppy together.

Yunho smiled at your expression.

"Baby really think about it. He's cute and all, but remember it's a big responsibility."

"Look at him and tell me if you can say no to this adorable face."

You put the dog in his hands. Yunho looked at the puppy and could not stop smiling. The golden retriever took a liking to him as well, as shown by the fact he started licking Yunho's cheek.

Looking at your face, Yunho knew it was game over. He could never refuse you. He loved you and would do anything to make you happy. And moments like this, where you two could randomly do crazy or insane things spontaneously, it's something he'd only do with someone he really loves.

"Well little buddy. Looks like we're your new parents."

♡*:.｡.𝓚𝓪𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓮𝓸𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓰.｡.:*♡

Yeosang tends to keep mostly to himself. He rarely talks about how he's feeling, even to his close friends.

However with you it's different. He feels comfortable talking to you about topics that he wouldn't ever even think about mentioning to others. Not just because you're his s/o. He's dated before and still didn't open up to them either. But he's relaxed talking to you.

With you he's free to rant, vent, cry about anything that worries him and you either comfort him with soothing words, or are just there to listen to him, really listen and understand him. Sometimes your silence speaks louder than words ever could.

That's what happened one day. Yeosang was stressed out, you noticed the second he walked in your apartment. You didn't even pester him, you just let him shower in peace. When he plopped down next to you in the bed, you simply began running your fingers through his hair.

That's the moment Yeosang really felt he loved you. Not only does he feel comfortable to let out his feelings to you, you two can actually communicate with no words. You're soulmates, already knowing what to do when the other is feeling a certain way.

You're his safe haven, you're his home. The bond you two share is stronger than anything else in the world.

♡*:.｡.𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓢𝓪𝓷 .｡.:*♡

"Will you promise to watch me?" San asked you while you both waited backstage for Ateez' turn to go on stage and perform.

Smiling, you held out your pinkie and linked it with his.

"Forever and always." You assured him before walking away to take your place in the audience.

San stood there in his place, anxious about performing. He'd already done this hundreds of times, but he'd still get nervous every now and then.

What if I mess up? What if I forget the lyrics or choreography? What if I'm not good enough?

All those doubts and worries immediately faded from his mind when he caught your gaze. You shot him a big thumbs up, waving your light stick for him, chanting along with the other Atinys their names. That's when San gathered his courage and gave his usual amazing performance that never failed to impress fans, and that included you.

You were San's strength, the reason he didn't fear not being good enough, you gave him the confidence he needed and for you, he gave his best performance. He wanted you to be proud of him. He danced and sang only for you. Every wink, finger heart, kiss was directed towards you, and only you.

After they finished, you were already backstage waiting to congratulate him. He raced towards you, spun you around before kissing you passionately. He looked into your eyes and that's when he knew...

Forever and always he'd love you.

♡*:.｡.𝓢𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓲 .｡.:*♡

It's not a secret that Mingi is a big baby. He constantly needs attention and special care. His members know this and it was one of the first things they told you when they knew you two might end up dating.

You didn't mind though. You thought Mingi was simply adorable and lovable. One of the purest and sweetest boys you've ever met in your lifetime. Sure sometimes he felt more like your kid than your boyfriend. More times than you can count, you've lost him while you two were out shopping. He's had severe kitchen accidents from trying to help you cook. It's little things like that that'll make some people lose patience at times. But not you.

"Are you mad at me?" He asked you one time you were trying to untangle a long headphones cord that he somehow managed to get stuck all over his body.

"No. Why would you think that?" You asked as you tried to get his hands unstuck.

"It's just..... I-I have so many mishaps, perhaps you..." He couldn't finish his sentence, but you knew what he meant.

Grinning, you shook your head and looked at him.

"Mingi, yes you're somewhat clumsy at times, but I don't mind. It's not your fault. So don't worry my little baby. I'll be right here to take care of you."

Leaning in, you pressed a kiss to his lips before continuing your task of trying to unwrap him from his torture device. Mingi just looked at you in admiration. You were always so patient and loving to him, even when he himself knew he tested your limits.

He truly and wholeheartedly loved you.

"I love you....." He whispered softly.

He didn't plan on saying it, it just happened, but he meant it. He got shy about it afterwards, and he secretly hoped you didn't hear him. He was afraid you weren't at the stage just yet.

"I love you too Mingi."

His face brightened up when you said those words back to him.

♡*:.｡.𝓙𝓾𝓷𝓰 𝓦𝓸𝓸𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓰 .｡.:*♡

Wooyoung is very outgoing and is a cheerful soul who enjoys having a good time and laughter. Some people say he's too loud, or that he's dramatic, or even annoying.

Not you though. You loved his sense of humor and you honestly enjoyed how he teased you when you were first getting to know each other. He acted like the typical school boy that annoys the person he likes only to get their attention. And it worked because here you were, about to celebrate your 5th month anniversary.

Even after you started dating, Wooyoung didn't stop his teasing. The only thing that changed was that you teased him back. You started playing pranks on him just to get back at him when he did so to you. It was even more fun to team up together and prank the other members, especially Seonghwa. He was your most common victim.

Wooyoung loved your extroverted and fun nature. How you weren't afraid to tease, prank him back if he did it to you. You were just so much fun to be around. There was never a dull moment in his life since you came along. And he didn't have to worry about toning it down for you. With you, he can be himself and he loves that he can make you bring out your wacky side. You're his partner in crime, his other half, you're the reason everyday is an adventure for him. He's wildly in love with you.

♡*:.｡.𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓙𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝓸 .｡.:*♡

Jongho was already awake before you. It was the first time he stayed over at your place and the first night you two spent together. Nothing dirty happened the night before, you two just ended up staying awake til late night, casually talking and peppering kisses to each other.

Now here you were, snuggled up in underneath the blankets, not aware of the loving gaze your boyfriend was staring at your sleeping form with. You looked absolutely stunning and it was such a precious moment to him, waking up next to you. He could definitely see himself waking up next to you for the rest of his life.

His precious smile was the first thing that greeted you when you woke up.

"Good morning sunshine." He said to you.

"Morning baby." You greeted him back as you sat up and stretched your arms.

"How'd you sleep?" He asked once he noticed you were fully awake.

"Wonderfully. But I'm hungry. How about I go make us some breakfast?"

There was something almost domestic about your relationship, a sense of tranquility and almost familiarity. Like everything fit into its respective place. Watching you shuffle your way through the kitchen, Jongho knew he loved you and that this was going to be the start of your lives together. He could already see your guys' future.

Gifs not mine, credit goes to their respective owners.

#ateez #ateez reactions #ateez hongjoong #ateez seonghwa #ateez yunho #ateez yeosang #ateez san #ateez mingi #ateez wooyoung #ateez jongho #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines

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tundrainafrica · 4 years ago

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Title: Christmas Eve

Summary: Toru goes out at midnight in the dead of winter to experience her first white Christmas and Kyo gets a little worried.

Part one of my present to @hizashi-yamadas for the Animanga Secret Santa 2020

Link to cross-postings: AO3

Other One Shots:

December 25: Christmas Day (Haru x Rin)

December 26: The Day after Christmas (Arisa x Kureno)

Note: Merry Christmas Elisha and I hope you enjoy! Keep your eyes out for the next installment :D

"You didn't have to stay in, you know."

Toru jumped, once again becoming aware of her surroundings. She had to look back at the clock by the mantle to see how long she had been staring out the window.

"No, I'm happy to stay in!" Toru hoped that saying it out loud would be enough to quell that knot of disappointment in her stomach which only tightened as she looked back at Kyo who was curled up under the kotatsu.

She looked down at Kyo right next to her who was looking more like a cat as he was curled up into a ball under two blankets of the kotatsu. Toru only had to hover her hand lightly over his forehead to feel warmth radiating from it. What alarmed Toru more though was how indifferent he was to her touch.

"Maybe we should see a doctor."

"It's just… really cold…" Kyo answered in between shivers.

Of course it's cold. They were in the northernmost region of Japan in the middle of winter.

It was Momiji who had suggested they spend Christmas in Hokkaido. He first gushed about it one lunch time in late fall and how he hadn't seen one since the last time he'd been to Germany for winter almost a decade ago. When the young blond pitched the plan when he visited their house a week after, Shigure was quick to approve.

Christmases in Tokyo are cold. The trees are bare. The sky is almost always dark, the atmosphere grim. The only things which made the scenery any better were the giant Christmas trees in malls and the Christmas lights that lined the streets.

Tokyo was too near the ocean though to get any snow so early in winter. Having spent every single Christmas in Tokyo, Toru had never experienced a white Christmas in her life. Snow usually came in January or February in Tokyo if they ever got any. They rarely piled up enough though to classify as a white landscape, similar to those she had seen in the figurines at Christmas shops.

Hokkaido was different. The snow piled up by the foot. They were like added decoration, complementing the Christmas lights which shine much brighter against the pure white landscape.

While she kept Kyo company, she entertained herself by watching the colors dance on the roofs, shining for a split second longer than what her eyes had gotten used to watching the Christmas lights on the streets of Tokyo as a child.

Yellow. Green. Red. Blue.

It alternated between the four colors. By the third time, she should have known what to expect. The contrast of the bright lights against the white landscape and the dark night, had only made the colors stand out more. The flashes were brighter and at times, Toru could pick out the small moments where the flashes of red would mix with those of green that had yet to fade.

"I'm sorry for doing something stupid like that, getting sick…" Kyo held the blanket tighter over his mouth. “And now you’re stuck here with me.

Toru noticed a slight blush and wondered if it was from embarrassment at losing to Yuki or the fever that followed being buried in the snow after their fight.

"No! I don't have to be outside every Christmas. Besides it's warm here and if we watch some Christmas specials, we could still get into the atmosphere of Christmas." Toru turned on the television.

“We are now at Odori Park for the Christmas market!”

That’s where Yuki and the others went. Toru thought to herself. She entertained herself by turning her watching TV into a game, challenging herself to maybe find Yuki, Momiji, Shigure or Hatori among the crowd. Do I get bonus points if I find them? Toru thought to herself playfully.

“Looks like a lot of people visiting are couples! Christmas is a time for couples to spread the love after all!” The host walked deeper into the crowd. “Excuse me, may I ask a few questions?”

“Sure!” A girl who looked to be college age answered. Next to her, was a slightly taller, college aged boy.

“Are you locals?”

The girl shook her head. “No, we’re from Chiba.”

“Wow that’s cool! What brings you to Hokkaido?”

The girl looked at the boy next to her and blushed. “It was a surprise actually.”

“It’s our five year anniversary.” The boy chimed in. “And Yuka has never experienced a white christmas.”

“How’s your first white Christmas then?” The reporter turned to Yuka.

“It’s a dream come true.”

The girl’s cheeks turned a little redder, maybe from the biting cold or the questions. As her eyes glimmered when she spoke, Toru guessed it was the latter.

It’s a dream come true. The wonder in her eyes and the words that followed only reminded Toru of herself and another dream she had had decades ago.

Christmas Eve

Along Hibiya park, there was an old man who sold figurine parts of a Christmas town, all displayed on a table for everyone to see. Every year since before she could even comprehend the commute to the center of Tokyo, Toru had always rushed to that small shop on the corner of the market with a frazzled Kyoko trailing behind.

At the start of the morning, it was saturated — or rather to Toru, it was complete. A complete replica of the bustling Christmas market in her daydreams and the fairy tales her mother told her about.

The frozen lake with people gliding on top, the children engaging in snowball fights with snow forts twice their size and to the right of it a miniature version of the Christmas market, a more rustic version at least and a snowier version.

It was only a few years after she started to visit the small shop did she start to go back multiple times a day. First, the shoe shop disappeared, then the bakery then the rink. For a six year old, it was oddly depressing to see the town dwindle into just a few figurines of people walking through. Toru would find herself crying on the way home that night.

Frosty the snowman is gone!

There are no more children playing in the sleds.

How will Santa give the gifts!

It must have been just unintelligible babble to her mother then. On their way home though from the market, as they stepped out of the train and out into the dark streets of their small suburban neighborhood, her mother hugged her tight.

Frosty is fine.

Santa is fine.

Children will still be playing on the sled next year.

Somehow, the conversation had evolved into a little planning. “Let’s go see a Christmas Market like that together Toru! With the frozen like and the snow forts and the sleds.”

They would go through pictures and videos of the towns in Finland, Germany, France, and even in nearby Hokkaido.

“I’ll make sure to save some funds. Maybe we can try for Hokkaido next year?”

Next year never came. There was always something more important than a winter vacation to spend on — electricity, textbooks, hospital bills, house repairs. As Toru grew older she had to forget that dream herself as the reality dawned on her that a single mother and high school dropout was in no position to ever dream of a profound of an experience as travel.

That same dream Toru had forgotten so many years ago made itself known again, manifesting as an ache in her chest and a small tear as she looked out the window the eve of December 24th.

I’ve never had a White Christmas myself. Her mother had mentioned then, as they looked through albums of winter landscapes and Christmas Markets.

Even for just a second. I have to do it. When would she be able to do it again? Life had disappointed her multiple times already. At that moment, it was right in front of her already and Toru was determined to make it come true then.

“Kyo, I’m going to go out for a while if that’s okay?” She went for her coat. “I just need to see something for my mother.”

“Your mother?” Kyo shifted his gaze from the television to her.

“I wanna experience a White Christmas for her.”

“Hey, I’ll come with you.” Kyo offered as he pushed himself out of his comfortable position under the kotatsu.

“You don’t have a coat though,” Toru said looking pointedly at the coat that was still hanging next to the heater to dry. Kyo had soiled his only coat, having been buried in the snow after his fight with Toru.

“Yeah...” Kyo grimaced

Toru took a peek at her phone while she readied her boots

11:00

“I’ll be back in an hour.” She assured Kyo. Just one white christmas. The next few words were for herself.

Momiji had picked a strategic place to rent a house in Sapporo. The Christmas Market was only a ten minute walk away.

Koibito Park. Lover’s Park. Toru had made sure to google the place before going there. It had a bustling market, not as busy as Odori but enough for Toru to be able to appreciate the festive mood.

As she took in the snow lined roofs, the Christmas lights and the crowds of people bundled up in their own coats, Toru was starting to feel like one of the figurines walking through the Christmas Market in that winter wonderland she’d play with as a kid. Just like what she had imagined, there was a skating rink to the side, a bakery stall, a cart selling chestnuts and a small German stall selling sausages and spiced wine.

Toru did not need to buy anything, completely satisfied already by the variety of scents — a mixture of cinnamon, apples and bread — wafting through the air. She had closed her eyes for a second as she focused all her senses on that small yet comforting sign that Christmas was nearing.

People were starting to talk about it too. As Toru made her way through the crowds she could hear conversations of Christmas wishes.

What’s your Christmas wish?

Kiss me under the mistletoe? A joke referencing a familiar song Kyoko had sung to her before.

I love you.

Somehow that was what made Toru freeze on the spot. Koibito Park, Lovers Park. Toru found herself looking at the crowd around her.

I’m used to this. I’ve spent new years alone already. This shouldn’t be a big thing. It could have been from instinct but Toru ended up navigating more quickly out of the crowds and into a less saturated part of the market. And to the corner was a little market with a few tiny figurines, all arranged in a little Christmas market.

The six year old in Toru was crying again.

It had been more than a decade since then but Toru found herself walking away farther and farther and into the almost empty back entrance of the market. She quickly wiped away the tears that she had formed and mustered up the biggest smile.

Why am I crying? The atmosphere around the Christmas town is not something you see everyday! You have to enjoy it! Toru scolded herself. As she peeked back around the corner and back at the park, she could not help but put a hand over her stomach, placating the knot that had built up there. Most of the couples were still walking around, some families were carrying sleeping children on their backs --- a sign that it was pretty late already.

She had spent the past few Christmases in the Soma household over home cooked dinners she had prepared. Years before that, she had spent it with her mother over take out from the nearest fast food chain and Christmas specials.

That was the first time she was counting down alone. She had her white Christmas and she was alone.

From Toru's position behind the park, she could still see some of the Christmas decorations bright across the white landscape. The houses that lined the street had roofs decorated with actual snow.

Just like in the Christmas market figurines she and her mother would admire. Just like in the fairytales her mother would share. Just like in the pictures she and her would look through.

"Merry Christmas mom," Toru whispered to herself. Admiring the view at least, she remembered why she had decided to make that journey in the first place. "It's a White Christmas."

Toru found herself smiling like she always did, overcompensating for that little something that was missing. Like how the Christmas market wouldn't have even the Christmas market without the people, the view in front of her was not a view without someone to share it with.

Toru looked back at her phone. Ten minutes until midnight. So it wasn't even Christmas yet. Toru made sure to circle around the outskirts of the Christmas market on the way back. She had told herself it was so she wouldn't have a bother to anyone. Deep inside her though, she knew that walking through there would probably make her feel lonelier than she would have been walking along an almost empty street.

The path less taken turned out to be the better choice.

As she made a turn towards the entrance of the park, she made eye contact with those orange eyes she had come to know so well.

"Kyo!"

Kyo was bundled up in a scarf, a beanie and a buttoned down coat that Toru was sure he did not own.

"Merry christmas."

Kyo's scarf was covering much of his lower face. Toru could see though with the way his cheeks rose, the pink in them becoming a little more distinct that he could possibly be smiling.

Either way, she was committed to return his smile with one ten times wider. "Merry Christmas.

As if by magic, the melancholic atmosphere of a while ago dissipated. Toru was finally able to realize the festive mood she had been willing herself to enjoy the past hour.

"Let's go through the market?"

"You're sick though?" Toru put her hand to his forehead.

"It's a cold. I've had worse." Kyo took her hand from its place on his forehead and pulled her into the park. "Besides, it's not everyday you get a white Christmas."

Somehow, the Christmas market started to have a little more color. The lights were a little brighter and being guided through the crowds of people was more exciting than perplexing.

"You want anything to eat?" Kyo asked as soon as they had arrived towards the end of the main path.

Toru's mind was elsewhere. The corner with the stall which sold christmas figurines was almost empty. A few stalls, a few stores and the only human figurines left were a couple on a bench.

Oddly enough, Toru was not fighting back tears. She wasn't lonely. She wasn't empathizing with figurines in an empty Christmas village.

They aren't alone.

"Last one left," The stall owner said.

It was only then did Toru realize she had brought her hand out to touch the figurine. As she looked closer she realized that the boy and the girl were one figurine, molded together and onto the bench below it. "This is so cute!" Toru chimed excitedly, as she ran her hand through the simple yet well placed patterns that made up the lovers on the bench.

"Good thing I prepared a lot of these. It's popular with couples. Christmas is your favorite time after all."

"Our favorite time?" Toru repeated.

"Yeah, I guess it is." Kyo answered the question.

The stall owner grinned. "I hope you're able to have a fun one then. Christmas is a day for lovers."

It had dawned on Toru then, the implications of his statement. She could feel the blood rush to her face, she looked away, completely torn between hiding the truth, consequently lying and correcting him, risking embarrassing him in the process.

"Hey let's go."

Toru realized then that she had spent more than a few minutes pondering that thought a few feet away from the stall.

Kyo guided her back out of the park and as she looked back, she could see the stall owner grinning and waving goodbye.

"Merry Christmas." Kyo pressed the handle of a Christmas bag on her open hand as they made their way out of the park.

Toru peeked inside to see the last remaining Christmas figurine from the stall inside. "This is for me?"

"Who else?"

“You didn’t have to… Really…” Toru tapped at her coat pockets, trying to remember where she had placed her wallet. She started to scramble after a while, her movements a little more chaotic. She dug towards one of the jacket pockets only for it to fall out as she pulled out her hand.

Kyo bent down to get it even before she could move from her spot. “You didn’t have to stay behind either but you did.” He pressed the wallet on her palm. “Besides, you had this goofy smile when you were staring at it. I’d feel bad if I didn’t.”

“I don’t even have a gift yet.” Toru looked away in embarrassment. In fact, she did have the gifts, she had just completely forgotten to take it with her when they were preparing for their trip.

“Just take care of it.” Kyo pulled the scarf further up his face and dug his hands into the coat pocket. “Let’s get back home.” Kyo started to walk a little faster.

Toru found herself trailing behind him. The coat Kyo was wearing started to become a little more recognizable as they reached a part of the streets dotted with more street lights. A blue buttoned down coat that fell too neatly towards the ground, uncharacteristic of Kyo. Toru was aware as well that only one person among them packed an extra winter coat for a two night trip.

“Are you wearing Yuki’s extra coat?”

Kyo didn't look back. “It was the only one I could find at short notice.”

#fruits basket #kyoru #kyoru fanfic #kyo sohma #tohru honda #kyo x tohru #animangasecretsanta

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