#happy Halloween everyone!! i tried a new technique and was actually pretty happy with how it came out
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Trick or Treat!! 🎃🍬
#happy Halloween everyone!! i tried a new technique and was actually pretty happy with how it came out#clay posts#clay art#CL8-0N#robotsona#halloween art#robot art#halloween#trick or treat#digital art#robot oc#ignore the time of day im posting this OOPS
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Halloween
established relationship rafebarry
(Rafe is kind of ooc in this because this fic is technically set in the timeline of a longer fic that I am writing where Rafe never killed Peterkin and Ward went to jail. I’m not super into how I wrote him but it took to long to write this for me to go back and change it.)
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“I ain’t dressin’ up.”
“What! Barry you have to! The Tannyhill halloween party is like one of the biggest events of the year. No way you come without a costume on.”
“No, Sarah. Shits for little kids and rich chicks looking for an excuse to dress all slutty and get trashed. I don’t want no part of that.” Barry argued, for the fourth time today. The entire group had been trying to convince him all week to come to this stupid ass, Kook ass party. He hadn’t given in until Rafe hunkered down on the idea and did some pretty serious convincing, the boy could be persuasive when he tried.
Especially since, when it came to persuading Barry, he really didn’t have to try that hard.
Now, however, the man was determined to stand his ground. If he was going to be forced into going to some party full of rich teenagers he absolutely was not budging on his decision to go as himself.
“Yeah Barry, everyone else is going to be dressed up. It won’t be any fun if you’re the only one who isn’t.” Barry decided it was easier to just ignore JJ than try to explain for the thousandth time that it wasn’t going to be any fun either way.
When she realized that he wasn’t going to grace her friend with any sort of response, Sarah continued, “Come on Barry, even Rafe is dressing up.”
“That’s a nice try princess, but that ain’t gonna change the fact that i’m not doin’ it.”
He then looked around at the living room they were all sitting in, and was reminded that the only reason he ever even came to this god forsaken murder mansion, wasn’t even back from wherever the hell he went two hours ago. “Where is he anyways? Didn’t he say he’d be back in 30 like 120 ago?”
The question was directed at Sarah and Kiara considering them and Barry had been the only ones here when Rafe left.
“He’s probably picking up his costume from the dry cleaners.” Kiara answered, “You know those assholes always take way longer than they need to.”
“No actually, I wouldn’t know that Kiara, cause I don’t take shit to the cleaners. Hold on, he already has his costume? Halloween isn’t for another two weeks.”
“Yeah, are you new? Halloween is Rafe’s favorite holiday, he goes all out. Every year he plans his costume at least a month in advance. He doesn’t ever tell anyone what it is until the night of though, he always makes it into some sort of dramatic reveal.” Sarah explained.
“Oh, so imagine how happy he’d be if his brand new boyfriend dressed up with him for their first halloween as a couple.” JJ inputted.
“How much do you think Rafe would appreciate an act of devotion like that JJ?”
“Oh I don’t know Pope. He’d probably appreciate it a lot if you get my meaning.”
“Do you two ever shut up?” They both shook their heads at Barry’s question, proud grins on their faces as if that was just the reaction they were hoping for. “Halloween? Is Rafe Cameron’s favorite holiday? Really?”
“Yeah. How don’t you know that?” John B asked, “I don’t even like Rafe and I know that.”
“I thought that was how he convinced you to come to the party.”
“Uh, no, Sarah that’s not how he did it.”
Barry explained, hoping that the middle Cameron wouldn’t push for a better explanation of just how exactly her brother had done what the rest of them had deemed impossible.
But, of course, since Barry luck was against him, the next words out of the girls mouth were, “Okay then how did he convince you to come?”
“He used a more….physical persuasion technique.”
The resulting sound of John B, JJ, and Pope’s whoops and hollers was suddenly harmonized with the sound of a certain dirt bike speeding into the driveway.
They all turned to face the front door as the topic of conversation himself walked in, carrying a big black clothing bag over his shoulder.
“Umm.. hello? When did you all get here?”
Rafe greeted, looking skeptically at the three boys who hadn’t been at Tannyhill when he left.
“Sarah called them over to talk group Halloween costumes like an hour ago.” Kie answered.
“And they’ve all be talking to you this whole time Bear?”
“Yup. This is what you abandoned me with. I hope you feel bad about it.” Barry quipped, trying not react to the most recent of nicknames for him that Rafe had been trying out since they got together.
He’d hated all the previous attempts and requested that Rafe never call him them again. The current one wasn’t awful though, so he hadn’t said anything about it. He figured the silence was confirmation enough, because that’s the only one Rafe had used since.
“I would’ve taken you with me but this is top secret so…” He trailed off, shaking said top secret clothing bag in front of himself to show what he was talking about.
“That a suit or somethin,? You got some sort of event comin up that you ain’t told me about?” Barry refused to believe that his boyfriend actually had a two week early costume in that bag despite what the others had said.
“Nope. Halloween costume, I always get them in really early so I can be prepared. Do you know what your gonna be yet? Cause if not you should figure it out soon, all the good costumes will be gone if you wait until last minute.”
All Barry could do for a second was blink in shock at the fact that Sarah and the rest of the Pogues weren’t fucking with him. Rafe really did like Halloween that much.
When he finally could speak all he managed was a short “No not yet.” before slipping back into his shocked state.
“Okay, Bear. Let me know if you need any help coming up with something yeah? I’ll be right back, just gonna go hang this up.”
Everyone was silent as Rafe left and made his way to what used to be his room,Barry finally turning to face the rest of the living rooms inhabitants when he could no longer hear footsteps going up the stairs.
When he did so, Sarah was looking at him like she’d just won a years long bet.
Reluctantly sighing, he addressed the members of the room, “Y’a know what? Fuckin’ fine. But I ain’t puttin no effort into finding a damn costume.”
At that Sarah’s grin only grew impossibly wider, “Leave that to me and Wheezie. We’ll find something perfect.”
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That’s how, the day of the party, Barry found himself in the middle of the youngest Camrons room, legs cold from the shorts he was wearing, while Sarah attempted to detangle his hair with the brush they’d requested he bring, Wheezie observing the whole thing from where she was seated on her bed.
“Bitch, if you don’t stop yankin’ my hair out imma kill you.”
“Quit whining Barry, i’m not even pulling that much you’re just tender headed or something. I swear your hair is worse than when we started though.”
“That’s cause you ain’t fuckin’ doing it right. And I ain’t tender headed, ask yo’ brother.”
He argued.
At that Sarah pulled even harder on the knot she had been working on that Barry’s pretty sure she created in the first place, “Gross, Barry. Don’t say stuff like that around Wheezie.”
“Not like I don’t know, they stay the night here sometimes remember? Rafe’s old room is right down the hall.” Wheezie provided, causing Barry to make a mental note to tell Rafe to keep it down next time they stayed here.
Sarah ripped another lock of hair out in response before Barry snatched the brush away from her and started brushing his own damn hair. She must’ve been taking forever on purpose or something because he got the few knots out in a total of 2 minutes.
Once it was brushed Sarah took over again, pulling his shoulder length hair into a loose bun at the base of his neck, leaving pieces out in the front to ‘frame his face’ whatever the hell that means.
When he was finally deemed ready by the sisters, Wheezie got up off her bed and led Barry towards the floor to ceiling mirrors that made up her closet door.
“I look stupid.”
“No you don’t!” Sarah hit his shoulder to emphasize her argument. “You look hot.”
“I’m telling you, I snuck into Rafe’s old room a few days ago and looked at his costume. This one will go perfectly with his, he’s going to love it.” Wheezie added, gesturing with her hands towards the costume on Barry’s body.
“I highly doubt Rafe Cameron loves anything about his boyfriend bein’ dressed as a cop. In fact I’m pretty sure there ain’t no one Rafe hates more then those assholes.”
“It’ll go with his, trust me. And besides even if it didn’t, you’re not just a cop, you’re a sexy cop. At least that’s what it said online when I bought it.” Wheezie continued.
Barry thought about that for a moment before including , “Yeah, that’s another thing. I’m not sure I’m comfortable with the fact that you, a 13 year old girl, bought me, a 25 year old man, a costume that was advertised as ‘sexy’. “
“Okay, then just don’t think about it as being weird, think about it as your boyfriends little sisters being super supportive of your new relationship. Now, Rafe is probably already waiting for us downstairs so…..buck up buttercup.” Sarah said, pushing the older man out of the bedroom door into the hallway towards the stairs.
Barry didn’t know what it was that he expected Rafe to be dressed as but this sure as hell wasn’t it. Barry’s costume had also been kept secret from Rafe, causing them both to let out surprised laughs when he, Sarah, and Wheezie joined the rest of the party downstairs.
“Look at you! Is that one of them mugshot signs around yo’ neck, Country Club?”
“Yeah, it’s authentic too. The station let me keep it after I got arrested for public indecency a few years ago.”
At Barry’s surprised look the younger of the two elaborated, “Topper and Kelce dared me to streak at this stupid party we were at and I was drunk and multiple kinds of high so…”
Barry just laughed stating that he shouldn’t even be surprised cause that sounds that some shit Rafe would do sober.
“Anyways enough about me, what are you wearing?” Rafe continued, giving his boyfriend a once over that slowed when it reached his uncovered legs.
Barry noticed, but decided not to say anything about it, instead joking, “Well mine ain’t nearly as authentic.”
“No, I don’t think those shorts are very cohesive with our local law enforcements strict dress code.” Rafe replied, slowly bringing his attention back up to Barry’s face.
“You don’t think so? I coulda sworn I saw Shoupe walkin’ around with a pair just like this on last week.” Barry couldn’t help but feel accomplished at his boyfriends responding laugh. “No but seriously, I’m never trusting your sisters with dressin’ me ever again. I’m pretty sure the two of them hate me, puttin’ me in shit like this.”
“Oorrr, more likely theory, my sisters just love me and want me to be happy, and are using you in a tiny pair of tan shorts to accomplish that goal.” Rafe grinned, “You look so fucking good by the way, I didn’t expect you to actually dress up, you hate Halloween.”
“Yeah well you like it so I figured why not. Also the idiot brigade spent hours trying to convince me that you secretly wanted me to.”
“Well I will potentially have to thank them, assuming I can bring myself to talk to them long enough to do so. Wheeze and Sarah did great though, you look hot as fuck and you still managed to look like a proper cop despite the shorts. You have the handcuffs and everything.” Rafe observed, pointing at said handcuffs hanging from one of the unnecessary belt loops sewn into the shorts.
“You look good too, baby. But you did that all by yo’self so I guess i’ll have to find a way to thank you later. And yep, they work too, according to the website, came with a set of keys and everything.”
Rafe raised his eyebrows at that, “The fuck did my sisters buy you? Don’t lose those keys though, we might need them later when you’re thanking me.”
Barry couldn’t help but let out another laugh, “Well then, maybe this costume ain’t so bad after all.”
“See, I told you Halloween can be fun.” Rafe said smug smile on his face due to getting Barry to admit he wasn’t having an awful time like he thought he would.
“Only cause i’m spending it with you, Country Club. I still hate it otherwise.” Barry said, finally leading them both away from the stairs and towards the rest of the party.
#rafebarry#rafe cameron#barry obx#halloween#don’t tell me#it’s bad#i’ll cry#sarah cameron#wheezie cameron#jj maybank#pope hayward#kiara carrera#john b routledge
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Survey #264
I did tell y’all WoW would devour my life again when I got my laptop back lmao. But I’m still alive!!
When you wake up to pee at night, do you turn on the light? You mean like, in the bathroom? Uh, yeah? When was the last time you got a fresh box of crayons? Damn dude, I don't have a clue. What color is your favorite towel? I don't have a favorite. They're all just random colors. Do you know anyone’s phone number by heart? Actually no, not since Mom got a new phone. I really need to learn it. Do you wear hoodies? Yeah, one Pikachu one. Something your mother said or did that shocked you: We were arguing and she tried to kick me out of the car once. Obviously I didn't listen. It was one of our worst arguments. How many different homes have you live in?We're in our fourth house now. WELL there's another if you count the apartment, but I didn't officially live there, I was just... always there even though it was against policy lmao. Then when we were technically homeless I "lived" with my former best friend, but again, that was not an official thing. Did your mom go to college? She is, though cancer has thrown a wrench in the plan... She's on her final semester of a bachelor's degree in social work. With cancer now plus this wild quarantine, we don't really know what's going on. Where is the best place you know to take a dog for a walk? We have a park maybe like 15 minutes from here that's pretty decent. Nice fountain, fishing docks, plenty of ducks. Are there any crazy sandwich combinations you like to eat? It's not "crazy," as I know it's actually tasty to some people: having lunch meat, cheese, mustard, and potato chips. I haven't had that in yeeeaaars. Which food do you think you have the most cans of in your cupboard? Uh. I'm not sure. We usually have fruit, beans, and soup in there, but I'm not sure which there's more of. Do you save fortunes from fortune cookies? No. Are you offended when Christmas is spelled Xmas? No. Do you prefer rugs or bare floors? Rugs. Describe your favorite mug or glass to drink from? I don't really drink from any. Your bad habit that you love the most: Heh, drinking soda... Do you name your pets after tv/movie/book characters: I have before, yes. Had a guinea pig named Harry Potter lol, rats named Tezzeret and Rhoka, and... that may be it. I am not positive, had a lotta pets... Have you ever died in one of your dreams? Yes. Which is tastier: fruity gum or minty gum? Fruity. Be honest, have you ever bullied anybody? Who was it? Oh my god, I was about to say no, but wait. When I first started RP at around 9, I had the impression you were supposed to always be in-character. Me, at the time my account being just "mozart2" (I don't count her as my first RP character though, she turned into Ruby and was drastically changed) on the Animal Planet forum, wanted to be the "dominant female," and one of the girls whose name was like Angelkiss or something was "mean" to me and so I reciprocated until I GOT FUCKING BANNED ON THIS ACCOUNT I'M WRITING THIS AND IT'S SO EMBARRASSING WHAT THE FUCK WAS WRONG WITH ME I HATE YOUNG ME SO MUCH. What is the cutest Halloween costume for a baby to wear? Idk. Is it a turn-off if somebody’s teeth are stained yellow? Not necessarily. Yellow doesn't mean dirty + everyone is supposed to have some coloration, and I can't say shit anyway 'cuz mine are kinda yellow from poor self-care in the past anyway. I just care that they're clean. Which of your friends is the tallest? Which of them is the shortest? Girt is a damn giant lmao. I only reach his chest. Shortest, I'm unsure. Do you know any quotes from Forrest Gump? Well besides the famous ones, no. HA, fun fact that cracked me the fuck up though, someone in the government in NC that is running for... something, there are sometimes like three signs in a row along the road that say "RUN FORREST, RUN" and I fuckin died the first time I saw it. Do you believe in demonic possession? How about ghosts? Angels? I don't believe in angels or demons, so. Ghosts, yes. Would you rather judge a singing or dancing competition? Why? Dancing, for sure. I'm more educated on the form and techniques, plus it's way more entertaining. What was the mascot at your elementary school? A bulldog. It was super cute, and in art class, the art students all worked together to make colorful, clay models that were in the principal's office. Everyone loved them. Have you ever fallen down in public? Did anybody see you? Yes and yes. Do you scream when you go on rollercoasters? Do you close your eyes? I'll probably never know 'cuz my ass is afraid of them lmao. I get dizzy too easily and I'm terrified of the potential of getting sick. Do you think home-made cards are better than store-bought ones? They're more thoughtful imo. What is one romantic movie that you enjoy enough to watch more than once? The Notebook. Who was the last person to walk out of your life, and why? By their volition, probably a Facebook friend. How did you decide upon your favorite colors? I didn't know you could pick your favorite color. Are you less likely to approach people that look/dress a certain way? Wow no. I mean unless they look obviously dangerous, like if they had blood on them or something like that. What is your favorite Starburst candy flavor? If you say anything but pink, you're wrong. Do you prefer schedules and plans, or spontaneity? Schedules. Sponteneity, usually, stresses me out. How do you let someone know that you like him/her? I mean idk. Act like it or say it. Do you think that you act like yourself while online? I'm more myself online. Have you ever lied about something to get someone to like you? Hell no. I'd want them to like me for who I actually am. Would you rather buy presents for others, or receive them? BUY, so long as I'm happy with what I bought and know it'll make them happy. How did you meet your current best friend? YouTube. The last song/poem/story you wrote - what was it about? I haven't finished it, but I'm writing a poem about the strength of cancer patients following Mom getting her hair shaved off. Are you a mostly blunt person? No, because I'm too afraid of starting an argument. Do you have any talents that come naturally? I guess writing since I've been applauded for it since I was very little. Do you go out often? Even before quarantine, not at all. I go out so little that my eyes seriously hurt when I step outside; I always have to squint or entirely close my eyes for a few seconds. What's the best Valentine's Day gift you've gotten? There was one year Jason got me a really pretty heart box of chocolates plus the game Heavy Rain and a pink rose. May still have a picture of it on my old phone... Is there anyone who is overly nice to you? No. It's hard to be "overly nice" in my opinion. Would you prefer internet or television? Internet. What is something you lose often? I'm not sure. Not a lot. Do you enter a lot of sweepstakes? I never do. How old is your oldest sibling? 30-something. Have you ever considered writing a novel? Yes. Who's the last person you said I love you to? Mom or Sara. What's your stance on spooning? What a question. It's comforting, but I usually can't actually fall asleep like that because I get too hot. Have you ever been "popular?" Nah, not really. Well, I was pretty well-known in the meerkat YouTube community as an editor, but not like, Yelozo level. Has someone ever tried to convert you? Well, I was a Christian when my sister's friend's grandpa made me like, SUPER uncomfortable by talking to me all the way home from school (he had to drive us this day) about the Bible and stuff because it was his "job" as a religious man and I kinda had to take this little Bible from him just to be nice. Even when I was a Christian I wasn't VERY religious and really really felt like he was hardcore shoving his beliefs down my throat. Are you thin? Ha ha no. Do you like big earrings? Heavy/big earrings ruined my ears, so no. The holes are too stretched now and is why I'm putting very small gauges in so it doesn't look as stupid when I put an earring in and it just barely hangs on because my ear lobe literally looks like it could tear. Animated character that was your gay awakening? HA, there's been a few that looking back, I definitely thought were more than pretty, even as a kid, like Sheego from Kim Possible. But #1? Holy mother of fuck, Bayonetta. That is one fuckin HOT MAMA. What show/YouTube video(s) do you put on in the background when you don’t have anything to watch but you want something on? Hmm. It really does depend on what I feel like semi-watching. Maybe like, a let's play where I'm not THAT interested in the game, but I still do listen and glance over. Your go-to bar order, if you drink? I've never been to a bar, but when I go out to eat and I feel like getting a drink, it's usually a margarita. What’s your favorite pair of shoes that you own? UGGGGHHHHH my tall leather boots with all these buckles and stuff. They're hot. What was your first word as a child (that wasn’t a variation of “Mom” or “Dad”)? I don’t know. What’s a job that you’ve had that people might be surprised to find out you’ve had? Nothing that's really "surprising." Just three ordinary minimum wage jobs. What’s directly across from you? My snake's terrarium. Do you own any signed books/memorabilia in general? No. ;-; I wish. What do you get on your bagels? What WOULD you get if you had access to anything you wanted? I've only ever had cream cheese. NO WAIT, I tried jam once and it was fucking repulsive. One bite and I was like "fuck no." I think it was strawberry jam though, which I hate. I'm not sure what else I'd try as idk what would taste good. Fruity or herbal teas? Neither. What’s that one TV show that you’re a little bit embarrassed to watch but you still like nonetheless? None. It's funny, as a kid when I thought I was "too old," I tried to hide the fact I still adored Pokemon, but for years now I've just been like "lol fuck yeah man Pokemon." What was your “phase” when you were younger? (i.e., Mythology Nerd, Horse Girl, Space Geek, etc) Being an emo/goth/metalhead thing was NEVER a phase, Mom. Goddamn do I wish I could afford a gothic wardrobe laksjdfawde. What’s that one outfit in your closet you never get the chance to wear but want to? There's no telling. I rarely check my closet for "special" clothes, but rather my dresser. Where do you sit in the living room (we all have a preferred spot, and you know it)? The couch. Are you a “Quote that relates to the photos” caption-er, an “explanation of where I took the photos” caption-er, or a no caption kinda person when you post pictures online? I'm all of them, plus sometimes song lyrics I find relevant lmao leave me alone. Name a classic Vine: YO that one of the dude looking for his berries with a WILD outfit, expression, and voice and then scares adventurers away from his tree made me fuckin cry for about 1,000 repeats. I miss Vine, man, good shit. What’s the freezer food that you stock up on when you go to the grocery store? We don't really "stock up" on any particular food. We do, however, tend to get a large box of frozen rats for Venus, if you can count that, but obviously that's not from the grocery store lol. How do you top your ice cream? Chocolate syrup mmmMMMMMMMMMMM Do you like Jello? Yeah. Do you have a fear, even only a slight fear of insects? I do. Do you have a favorite poem you like and can recall? If so, what is it? I don't have a favorite, no. Have you ever resided in a home that was haunted: *shrugs* I do think paranormal things happened in my last house, but idk about calling it haunted. Do you ever play any MMORPGS: Just WoW. What’s the closest river to you? Tar River. Have you ever been in a building with over 100 floors? I don't think so. What bird is the cutest? Oh, I don't know. Something small and pudgy lol. Are you scared to look at your own organs on x-ray or ultrasound? No, that shit is so cool. Have you ever held a real sword? No. What do you think about most? PTSD is v fun. My brain naturally drifts to relating topics when I don't know what to think about, which is most of the time. Certainly don't try to, but it just. Happens. Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? Hell man, idk. I do have a weakness for Kellin Quin though; he's the first to come to mind. What was the last film you saw in the cinema? The Lion King. What are you currently listening to? "Saturnalia" by Marilyn Manson. How many people have you kissed, that you can HONESTLY say you loved? Two. The last person to be under covers with you? Sara. What's the compliment you get the most? Uhhh I think it's "I like your tattoo" (referring to my Mark one). BITCH just wait til it gets tidied up for four hours. Have you ever disliked someone just because a friend disliked them? If they have good reason to, yes. I can't deeply dislike someone I don't know/have personally seen be a piece of shit, but I can sure not be fond of them until they prove unworthy of that judgment. Have you ever won a lot of money in a slot machine? How much? Never gambled and don't plan to. Do you eat/drink at your computer? Yes, oops. How much do you overeat at special occasions? (Birthdays, Christmas, etc) Actually, I tend to under-eat at most special occasions because odds are I'm not going to like the food. This isn't always the case, but yeah. Do you think it's important to enjoy your job or do you just work for money? I think it's very important to enjoy it. If you had to, which record would you go into Guinness World Records for? Probably the longest consecutive hours of not leaving the computer laksdfjawe I hate myself. Do/Did you enjoy school? Why (not)? From the very beginning, I hated school. It's why I was a goddamn monster to get up in the morning, even in high school. I only enjoyed (to a degree, anyway) my most recent college because it was a way to get out of the house and work towards my future. Do you find it difficult to sleep at night? Any reason(s) why? Boy, do I. Most recently, after being put on a medication for my nightmares/terrors (which works!), I have intense muscle spasms in my legs, oddly only when I'm falling asleep. Apparently it's a very rare side effect of it, but I'm willing to tolerate it in place of having nightly terrors. Then there's my PTSD and just general poor self-image that can both send me down a total spiral. Have you ever wished you were born the opposite gender? Why? Not legitimately. Like I've wondered what it would be like, but I've never truly wanted to be a guy. I'm just content with being what comes with being genetically female. Do you think you'd make a good model? Would you ever want to be one? Hell to the fuck no. Have you had an argument with anyone recently? If so, do you still have issues with that person? Not recently, no. Who was the last person that asked to hang out with you? Tell me the story of how you met that person, everything you remember. Hell man, I don't have a clue. Have you ever worn colored mascara? If not, would you ever think about trying it? And if you have, what is/was your favorite color to wear? No, but I guess, if I had a reason to? What do you remember about your first day of secondary school? Were you more nervous or excited about it? I very faintly remember I had no desire to be there. Before Facebook became popular, did you use any other social networking site, like Bebo or Myspace? Yeah, I had Myspace. Has anyone ever asked you out, and you turned them down? If so, did you feel guilty about it? Why do you think you said no? Yes, and not *really*, as I'm very strict with myself about whom I date. It's just awkward. And I just didn't like one guy romantically in elementary, my best male childhood friend was black (mind you I haven't been racist in the least since I was a tiny kid, I was just raised like that), and I knew Juan had a bad rep. Have you ever asked anyone “Do you love me?” If so, did you get the response you wanted? Do you think when someone says “I love you”, you feel obliged to say it back? Ugh. Let's not. I feel obligated only with family. Has someone of the opposite sex ever sang to you? If so, how did you respond to it? LET'S. FUCKIN. NOT. If you’ve had a bad experience in a past relationship, did you find that you were scared to get into another relationship, in case the same thing happened again? Terrified.
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Life is a Game of Risks, Chapter 26
Chapter Summary - Tom asked Alexianna and Lily to join him for a few days with his family, leading to her discussing Daniel and a small revelation regarding her and her brother of late, which Tom tries to assist with.
TRIGGERS - Past domestic abuse, Past emotional abuse, Past sexual abuse.
Previous Chapter
Tags: @damalseer @hiddlesbitch1 @winterisakiller @theoneanna
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Alexianna looked at Tom with a look of concern on her face. It had been over a month since he had handed her her divorce papers and in that time he has spent as much time as was physically possible with her though it was quite difficult with the Ragnarok premiere and press junket that needed to be done also. Since his return, he had been adamant to bring both Alexianna and Lily to his mother's in Suffolk. The Hiddleston family had planned to get together over the Halloween break to spend time as a family. Alexianna felt that she and Lily would be intruding on their time and as such did not see it as her place to go, Tom, on the other hand, felt it was not right it to turn up to his family home without them. This led to the yet another concerning issue for Alexianna, because of the situation before we're Diana turned up to Tom's house unexpectedly, his mother was well aware that she and Tom were sharing a bed from time to time, but to turn up at his family home, for his sisters and their husbands to know the intimacy of the relationship even with the occasional being spotted by the paparazzi, it made her feel somewhat exposed and uncomfortable.
‘I'm not sure, I mean don't you want to spend time with your family? Just your family?’
‘Yakov and Jack have always been welcome at my mother's even before I married my sisters, come to think of it, they were more welcome then, because since then they have married my little sisters, well one little sister, one is older but still smaller than me so I can count for something, surely?’
‘So she was less inclined to like them after their married your sisters?’
‘No, my mother is very fond of them still, it's me isn't as welcoming considering they are my sisters.’
‘What if Daniel treated you like that? A tad hypocritical is it not?’ She argued.
‘I am aware of Daniel's opinion of me, I think you forget I was there the night that he came to the car to invite me in. I know it was not to say hello, but the scope out exactly what I was doing and what I wanted from you. he made it quite clear how little he approved, but he is your older brother, I understand and respect him looking out for you. Same as I did with my sisters. Speaking of which, when is your brother home?��
‘He...I don’t think he is coming anytime soon.’
‘Lexi?’
‘He went on a holiday with a few of the guys off the rig and met someone.’
‘That’s nice, isn’t it?’ Tom asked.
‘No I am happy for him, I am. I just...Lily is asking to see him and I feel guilty that he is not here.’
‘Lexi, you knew he would find someone sooner or later, and with how good he has been with Lily, he was going to be taken by some girl.’
‘I know, and I want to be happy, but I have not heard from him in two and a half weeks and the last time I did was a “Fine” text, nothing more.’
‘Did you contact him since?’
‘Four times.’
Tom swallowed slightly, conceding that indeed, that was somewhat noteworthy. ‘Maybe he’s busy?’
‘I know he is, he has a picture of her and her kid on Facebook, he went with them to the zoo.’ Tom did not know what to say. ‘I am not being unreasonable. I am so happy he has someone, but he’s all I have left as a family now, so even a once a week “Hey sis, hope you’re okay,” would be nice. I mean, I don’t want anything from him, only to talk every now and then.’
Tom pulled her to him and kissed her temple. ‘I think that is fair enough. I try to contact my sisters with anything I find out that I think they will enjoy or if I have any news. I never go longer than a week without some form of contact.’
‘That’s all I want.’
‘Why don’t you send him a text or an email saying that, just that you miss talking to him, that you see he met someone and you’d love to hear about her?’
‘Isn’t four messages unanswered embarrassing enough?; She sighed. ‘About Suffolk…’
‘Please consider coming, everyone really wants to see you and Lily, in fact, Sophie hasn't stopped going on about it. Emma isn't giving her a cousin, so I think she is stealing Lily as one. she seems to think this is brilliant, a new cousin without all the baby stage where they are apparently boring and straight to the “someone to talk to about films, TV and toys” phase, while also being someone she can be older than, which apparently matters, as it gives her seniority, so she can still be the boss that she thinks she is, she is excited to have someone to play with. And the fact, of course, she is another girl, Yakov’s brother only has two boys, I think she's sick of being the only girl.’ For a man of thirty-six, Tom seemed to have perfected the “puppy dog pleading eyes” technique and was using it in an attempt to convince her into going to the event.
Alexianna did her best to not look him in the eye as he did it, ‘You’d think since I have a four-year-old, I would be used to this, but you were taking it to a whole other level, mister.’
‘Is that a yes?’ he asked, with a cheeky grin on his face.
‘Fine.’ she conceded. Though she looks slightly concerned, there was little denying that she had an excited look on her face also. ‘At least I know the people there.’ she laughed, ‘Well most of them.’
‘Yakov and Jack will know how you feel, considering he had to do this at one stage, they are very nice people.’
‘The difference being, neither of them came with extra baggage, did they?’
‘Lily is not baggage, stop that now. My family know about her and are very excited to meet her. My mum adores her, Emma adores her, Sophie is dying to meet her, so is Sarah and Yakov, and Jack is just waiting to see who this girl is that Emma has not stopped talking about and has probably told him every last detail of what you used to do together when you hang around when your kids.’
‘We were teenagers, not kids.’ Alexianna stated indignantly.
‘You moved next door when you're eight, who started out of kids.’ Tom argued. ‘I promise, it will be a lovely time, it always is. Just make sure to pack an extra warm jacket. It's fun to walk by the sea but it can get pretty chilly.’
*
Tom looked at Daniel’s profile page in front of him on the computer screen. part of him thought it was best to not to interfere, but knowing how much it upset Alexianna to not be speaking more often with her brother. He felt, as her partner, that perhaps, since she was scared to try and contact him yet again, he could try. He was certain, going by the way Daniel acted around his sister and his niece, that this “snuff” was unintended, more than likely brought on by his own new relationship. So clicking on the message icon, Tom type a very short message to the other man, hoping to reinstate contact between the siblings.
Tom - hello Daniel, I do not wish to insert myself into something that is not my business, but I feel I need to speak to you regarding Lexi. Of late, she is under the impression that you were in some manner not speaking to her. She says that she has tried to make contact with you on a few occasions but that you never responded. I am aware that this really isn't my business, but considering it is upsetting Lexi and indeed Lily, I thought I would ask if there was an issue because I am sure neither of us wants either of our girls unhappy for no reason.
Tom looked at the message for several minutes, wondering if it was like to send it at all, but remembering just how upset Alexianna was and indeed, seeing with his own eyes that Lily was actively asking when she could speak to her uncle again, he hoped he was making the right decision before clicking send.
Hardly two minutes later, the message symbol came up on his own screen, telling him that he had a new message. Seeing that was Daniel, he inhaled deeply and clicked on it.
Daniel - Hello Tom, I have to admit I was slightly confused as to you contacting me but having read why I can understand. No there is no issue between myself and Alexianna, I kept getting her messages, but if I am honest, I kept thinking to myself I would reply to them soon, but never did. Hearing how hurt she and Lily are by this, make me feel somewhat guilty. I haven't even told her about Anna or indeed when I plan to see her and Lily again soon. Thank you for telling me this, I can imagine it felt somewhat awkward contacting me, considering I am her older brother, but I appreciate it.
Though if I'm honest, it's weird seeing “our girls” on your message. Just goes to show, it's been me and Alex for far too long. I will contact her as soon as I finish here, I'd rather call her instead of just typing something maybe that might make up for some of my lack of contact. But other than that, is she ok?
Tom - She's fine, she has some news for you actually quite a bit of news, all good. different things have been coming together for her she's incredibly happy and I think it was a little gentle nudge, perhaps with your help, I can convince her to get a slightly bigger place for herself and Lily, while still within reach of Lily's School.
Daniel - Shit, I forgot that she's started, what sort of brother am I?
Tom - if it's any consolation, I did the same with Sophie.
Daniel - I'm going to assume that is your niece. It doesn't make it any better, I always promised Lily that I would do everything I could for her, so for me to not even ask how her first day of school went, that's just wrong. I can't thank you enough Tom for contacting me. I'm here spending time with Anna and her sister, I don't even spend time talking to my own.
Tom - You can change that now by contact with them, both of them are really hoping to hear from you.
Daniel - Thank you, Tom, thank you for looking after them and for not using them as camera fodder, I'm not going to lie, I was terrified that you would do that.
Tom - I understand. Who knows, we might see you soon.
Tom came offline and sat back for a moment, thinking about what he had just done, hoping it was the right thing to do and that Alexianna would not feel betrayed by him contacting Daniel on her behalf.
* As it turned out, Alexianna was elated by his interference, as it meant that she was finally speaking with her brother again. He told her about Anna, her age, her job, her hobbies and other bits and pieces about her. her father had remarried ten years ago and had a child with his second wife, but he had been killed in a car accident, so Anna now helped to care for her sister Joanne a lot, hence the photo of them at the zoo with her. Apparently, any guy that Anna would go with had to be ok with Joanne, that had caused Alexianna to laugh, no one would be more perfect than Daniel. He told her about where he was living now, Edinburgh. He insisted that she and Lily would have to come and visit soon when Lily was on holidays from school, but that he would make his way down to them beforehand, the end of October was apparently too long between visits.
Lily cried with glee at seeing her uncle FaceTime her mum. It took ten minutes to tell her uncle everything that has happened with school, and how she had loads of new friends and of how much fun she was having with Mum and Tom. For her part, Alexianna had the most exciting news. She told Daniel about her divorce, about Edward threats that Jonathan wanted her to sign. Lily, who was across the room when her uncle heard this but able to make out the swear words he was using to refer to the two men. She also told him of what Tom had his friend do, something he messaged Tom about later thanking him profusely for everything he had done. After all of that, Alexianna told him her newest news, she been hired as an intern that would give her extra learning but also a greater income that went hand in hand with her degree.
She has not been successful getting an internship with Luke’s company; Luke explained that her lack of experience and her relationship with Tom made it too complicated for her to work for him, but he gave her CV to a friend of his who wanted to train someone from scratch and it had resulted in her working parttime as well as studying, the HR management arranged a timeshare position for her and another intern that permission to them to both go to college and do their job. it's doubled the time that she would have to work as an intern but the income was greater than what she earned before, it was listed employment and went hand in hand with her degree, so in short, it was perfect for her.
Immediately Daniel did as Tom has also suggested and asked her to consider getting a bigger apartment, telling her that with her age and the fact that she was in school, Lily needed her own room. Clearly, Tom had whittled her down some bit because she listened to him before making her objections. He told her to find a place, he would pay the deposit for her, as well as moving van, and to give them the address, as well as Lily's room dimensions, because he was going to get her a bed and matching room furniture just for her. Alexianna immediately began to objective, but it was clear Daniel would not be moved, insisting that it was the right thing to do and something she had earned, reminding her of every fault and issue that she had had in the apartment she was currently in. Though she did not wish to admit it, his sister knew that he was right.
With promises to see them soon, Daniel said his goodbyes, leaving a happy and somewhat relieved Alexianna looking at her phone wondering what caused a brother to ring her out of the blue. It was only ten minutes later, when she was making a cup of tea for herself, that Alexianna realised he had mentioned her getting the bigger apartment in the exact same way Tom had. She needed to take out her phone and pressed the dial button.
‘Hello Lexi, how are you this afternoon?’
Alexianna immediately noted Tom's delighted tone. ‘Actually, I'm great thanks how are you?’
‘Good, yeah.'
'I actually wanted to talk to you about something.’
‘Okay?’ Tom was unsure by her tone if this was a good or bad thing.
‘I just got the most unexpected phone call,’ she began.
‘Good or bad?’ Tom realised she was referring to a call from her brother.
‘Great actually, care to guess who it was from?’
‘The National Lottery?’
‘Don't be a smartass. Why is it my brother, the brother I have not spoken to in quite a few weeks, rings me up out of the blue, asks me how I am getting on and then goes on with the exact same idea as you for me to get a bigger place?’
‘Because perhaps maybe it is a good idea?’ Tom suggested. ‘You know the saying “Great minds think alike”.’
‘You do realise the second part of that is “But fools seldom differ”? don't you?’
‘We both know I'm no fool.’ Tom grin was audible over the phone.
‘Tom, did you contact Daniel?’ Alexianna asked, her tone did not give away her emotion at this question.
‘Yes.’
‘Why?’
‘Because you were upset and personally I did not think that it was because your brother had an issue with you as to why he did not contact you, so I said I would ask myself. You had said that after your own unanswered texts that you did not think it best for you to contact him again, so I thought perhaps I could help. I'm sorry if I overstepped the mark, I was just worried for you and Lily, I didn't want to see you unhappy, especially if there was no reason for you to be. I won’t always be able to stop things from hurting you, as much as it kills me to say it, but I felt I could help with this.’
‘Thank you, Tom, it was a little weird when I figured out it was you, considering it is my brother and you already made it clear how awkward it can be between boyfriends and brothers but I'm really happy that you did it, thank you. It made Lily’s day.’
‘Anytime. Are you ready for this weekend?’
‘No. but it's coming anyway isn't it?’
‘You will love it, wait and see.’ Tom promised.
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*bzzz boop beep beep*
SKZZ-ait! I hear something!
*BWAAA BEEP BOOP BEEP*
Miss Thunder: *Gasp!* It's back on!
Red Rabbit: Yaay! She did it!
MT: Hello, hello, everyone! It's, uh, it's been a while, hasn't it?
Eli: Yeah, when was the last question you answered?
MT: Let's see, it was back in...ooooh, that's was long ago.
Talon: It's been over half a year.
RR: Well, it wouldn't have been if somebody wasn't trying to show off by throwing knives blindfolded!
T: I wouldn't have hit the computer if somebody hadn't dared me and also knew their left from their right.
MT: Now, now girls. No fighting. Besides, we got our special computer back! Let's celebrate by answering a group question! Also, a very big thank you to my biggest fan, Alice and her technical know-how, for making the repairs!
RR: Also, Also, a very late Happy Halloween, Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas and New Year!
MT: Here's a question for all of us:
MT: Uhhh...sort of?
T: "Sort of"?
MT: Well, it's not like I can do push-ups and sit-ups.
*Hefts up her massive belly*
MT: ...Not with all this in front of me, at least.
E: You jump around everywhere. That's good exercise!
MT: Yeah, but that's just for me to get around town. I hardly have to put a lot of effort in my jumps unless I'm trying to go really high but that's rare. Plus, there's no weight set that's heavy enough for me to lift weights with.
T: Hmm...Maybe you can find one of those huge hydraulic presses.
RR: Oh, like in the cartoons?
T: Yeah. I've heard of some go up to and over 50,000 tons.
MT: Ooh! That sounds fun! It's not often I get a chance to go all out with my strength.
E: Maybe you can ask the people that knock down old buildings if they can let you do the knocking down by yourself.
RR: Oh, that sounds like perfect exercise for you, Penny! Also, it'd be a nice little side gig: a one-woman demolition crew!
MT: Hmm...that might be doable. Now what about you, Cassie?
RR: Oh, I go jogging every day.
E: Isn't that like walking really slow for you?
RR: Eh, a bit. If nothing else, it helps keep me nice and limber for when I really have to run. Oh, and dancing!
T: How often do you dance?
RR: I'd say several hours a day, at least. Not just rehearsal with my squad but I also have other classes about techniques and different styles.
E: Do you just learn the same dance over and over?
RR: Oh no! We have to learn a whole new routine for every recital and competition and it can take a few weeks, if not months, to perfect it.
MT: And you, Talon?
RR: *Pokes Talon's bicep* What does our resident ninja girl do to get so swole?
T: If you must know, I try to switch up my exercises every day.
E: Do you go to a gym?
T: Pssh! No. I don't want to work out with all those meatheads and gym bunnies. I have my own weight set at my apartment.
MT: Don't your neighbors complain about your weights hitting the floor?
T: I usually go for more reps than go really heavy. I also do a lot of pull-ups, sit-ups, and push-ups.
RR: What's the highest you've gone?
T: I don't know, I don't count anymore.
MT: Really?
T: Counting distracts me. I usually just set a kitchen timer for about 15 to 20 minutes and just go non-stop until the bell rings.
E: *Whistles*
T: I also do a lot of balance exercises like planking or handstands.
RR: Oh, I hate planking! It's fine at first but damn if your body isn't screaming after a while. I remember me and the girls tried to see who can go the longest.
E: Who won?
RR: Amanda but that's because she's a big ol' farm girl with arms like Talon's. Our wimpy little arms didn't stand a chance!
MT: You turn, luv. What do you to exercise?
E: Me and the other wrestlers go to the gym. We lift weights and do push-ups and sit-ups like Talon but after that, we go to the practice ring and do drills.
MT: What do you do?
E: Mainly just getting our bodies used to hitting the mat and going over techniques so nobody gets hurt during a show.
T: Hm.
E: What?
T: So you admit it is fake?
E: I didn't say that! Even if it was, and that's a big IF, we still have to do all those jumps and slams! All that practice is to make sure nobody ends up with a broken neck or worse!
MT: I thought you broke your nose during that match you had a few weeks ago!
E: Heh! Yeah, I was bleedin' pretty good, wasn't I?
RR: Aren't you're stronger than the average human, Eli?
E: A bit, I think? Maybe strong enough to rip a car door off the hinges but I'm not strong enough to lift a car over my head.
RR: Umm...that's still pretty freaking strong, dude! If I do work out with weights, I usually just lift the little 10 or 15 lb weights!
E: Is it? It doesn't seem that big of a deal when I've seen Penny on TV suplexing a tank like it's nothing.
MT: Come now, Eli. Whatever muscles I have buried beneath all my fat are powered by goddess magic. You and Talon actually work for your strength!
E: That's true, I suppose. But I do like having a girlfriend who's bigger and stronger than me.
MT: *Blushing* Aw gee, luv!
RR: What say we close out this post with a good old workout song?
MT: Ooh, I like the sound of that!
T: Anything Metal?
RR: No, sorry Tal!
T: *Sigh* Just play it, then.
youtube
#It's good to be back!#ask miss thunder#Miss Thunder#Red Rabbit#Talon#Black Dog#Eli#baby baby oh baby baby
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Shadowhunters 3x18, The Beast Within -- Review
Now that I've got 3x17 over with...Let's get into 3x18, The Beast Within. And yet another episode where it's abundantly clear the writers wouldn't know subtlety if it drop kicked them in the face. This show has introduced fun concepts this season but as per usual, they feel the need to execute these concepts in the most boring way imaginable. It's also super weird to watch the premiere of a Halloween themed episode in the middle of April.
As always, I'm not a fan of Shadowhunters. I'm just watching this show to see what happens and I’m reviewing it because I feel obligated to. I don't think it's a good show, I actually think it's pretty trashy and it really only exists to be shipping fodder except minus the character and relationship development, there is none, so it basically fails even at that. But if you like Shadowhunters, that's perfectly fine. We like what we like. You just might not want to read this. Also spoilers for the books and movies.
I think I've actually hit maximum apathy for this show now. I normally blacklist shadowhunter posts while the new episode airs so I don't get spoiled when I watch the new episode the following day. But yesterday, I forgot to do that, I got spoiled and I didn't care. I saw plenty of gifs and discussions come across my dash and I didn't care. I'm truly saddened that I've at last hit this point. I always knew it would only be a matter of time before I would be brought to this point and it looks like I'm there now. But it's cool. We're on the final stretch until this show is finally done. So I really only have to suffer a little longer.
The Cure That Didn't Cure
Our "heroes" attempt to cure Clary of the mark using the Heavenly Fire but I guess the batch is too diluted for it to work. So it was really kind of a pointless scene that I don't even know why it exists other than to waste time. Oh and I guess to showcase Kat's screaming techniques which are pretty cringey. I hate it when she screams on this show. It never sounds like she's genuine. But you know, it's alright. Some people just aren't screamers. We can't all be Candace King (Caroline from TVD). Now, that girl can scream. I don't know how she does it but she's just really good at putting the emotion into her scream where you feel like you're feeling the same pain she is. The way she jerks her body, how she inflects her voice mid-scream, it's quite impressive. I certainly never enjoy watching my favorite character in TVD get tortured (and I think she was the most physically tortured character on the entire show) but I do applaud her ability to act out the torture. Oh, and Clary's lazer powers have come back. Thank God for that. I don't know if I could possibly survive without seeing another cringey scene of lazers flying out of Clary's hands again. Just why, show? Why? It's not necessarily. You've already depicted Clary as a fully functioning shadowhunter regardless if it was earned or not. Are the lazer powers really necessary?
But since it's Halloween, demons are running amok and everyone has to go out hunting and I'm just asking why they thought it would be a good idea to take Clary of all people to patrol? You know, the person who has shown they aren't always in control of their actions. They're going to take that person, give her deadly weapons and they didn't think it was going to go badly? But the fight eventually takes them to the sewer Clary makes the choice to join Jonathon instead of Jace so we're finally getting dark!Clary even though this is definitely not what I wanted. I don't want the show to use magic to make her dark, I want the show to acknowledge the darkness that was already there way before the mark. In fact, if they absolutely felt like they had to go this route, have the cure work but Clary still chooses to go with Jonathon because the mark helped bring out some of her more innate darkness and then deal with that for the final few episodes we're in. You know, do something to acknowledge that Clary isn't this precious little flower child. Allow her some character development. I also don't particularly understand why she chose to go with Jonathon. I get the mark was making her feel a little sympathetic but I don't understand how it lead to this?
The Continuation of the Malec Drama
It's not a Shadowhunters episode without Malec drama, am I right? Well, in return to giving Magnus his magic back, Asmodeus tells Alec to end his relationship with Magnus so it's basically every Malec fanfiction ever. Alec talks it over with both Jace and Izzy to varying degrees of success and he comes to the conclusion that he needs to break up with Magnus as he feels like this is going to save Magnus. And why wouldn't he think that? Magnus has been putting an awful lot on Alec regarding this whole situation so why wouldn't Alec feel this way? Alec breaks up with Magnus, telling Magnus that the past few days has made him feel like the spark that Alec loved about Magnus is gone. Magnus tries to stop him but ultimately, Alec walks away. And the break-up is alright, I guess, I just hate how "high school" writing it is. For me, a far more complex and interesting break-up would be Alec using the reasoning of that Magnus can't just lean on Alec for the rest of his life. He can't keep on pushing the drama onto Alec expecting Alec to fix it. Which has long been an issue I've had with the Malec relationship. That every time something goes wrong in in the relationship, Alec is the one who has to give way and fix it instead of both of them working together to fix it. Alec could tell Magnus he doesn't want to be in a relationship playing second fiddle to Magnus's identity crisis. He has to think about what will make him happy.
And can we talk about how terrible this line is, "You're not that selfish." This is Magnus basically implying that he likes that Alec selflessly makes allowances in the relationship instead of perhaps doing what he wants to do. And it also kind of reads like emotional manipulation. "I can't accept this break-up so I'm going to make you feel like a bad person so you won't break-up with me". So just, wow, Shadowhunters.
Becky
Believe it or not, there was something I did enjoy in this episode and that was Simon's sister Becky returning. She is so much fun, has so much energy, and with the innocence on how she approaches the shadow world, I kind of wish this actress played Clary. Kat's alright but I've never been too terribly impressed with her portrayal of Clary but the actress who plays Becky really brings energy in every scene she's in and I want her to be in more scenes. And what is it about this show and siblings who have more chemistry with each other than the love interests?
Though, I do think it's weird that shadowhunters who have literally grown up in the heart of NYC don't know mundane vampire culture, though. If you grew up in Idris, I can understand that but how have they lived in NYC, apparently they always patrol on Halloween and yet know nothing about how mundanes view vampires? It's just really hard to believe.
At Becky's request, Sizzy goes back into gear in all of its cringey glory. They literally made a pack two episodes ago to stay single and now this is being shoehorned in. Why? If they were going to do this. This pact should've been made a season ago. When you make a pact like this, it only works if the couple is a slow-burn and Sizzy definitely has not been that.
I Guess I Have to Talk About the Jordan Redemption
I don't hate that the show is giving Jordan a redemption arc but I do dislike how the show is going about it. It's definitely not deserved. Just because he saved Maia's life and joined an organization dedicated to helping people and that's enough to forgive Jordan for being a shitty person both before and after he became a werewolf? Come on.
I also hate the idea of Maia having to rebuild the pack. It does such a disservice to her character to make her own pack as opposed to taking control of her pack and showing that she's become strong enough to assert herself towards these individuals that previously looked down on her.
There's just so much going on in this episode that if the show was more subtle, it might've worked. But Subtlety and Shadowhunters have never gone hand-in-hand. I'll give this episode a B. I liked Becky and the structure of the episode wasn't bad. But other than the Becky parts, I thought this episode was pretty bland and most of what the episode did, I found to be pretty cringey and just generally trashy.
#shadowhunters#shadowhunters 3x18#shadowhunters 3.18#shadowhunters the beast within#the beast within
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The World We’re Gonna Make
Some background info/a look at the characters in my Orphan Au verse. If you want to read more about their adventures, there are two stories that have been posted to go along with it so far, which you can read here and here
Logan Lockerman: - He’s the oldest (by a couple of months but still) - He’s very protective over the others and worries about them constantly, he’s basically the Mom Friend - Placed in the system when he was born, has no idea who his parents are and doesn’t give a shit either - He’s trans, which was something he discovered when he was like three (Patton helped him choose his new name) - People always tell him he’s too young to really know though and so most adults refuse to call him Logan or use the right pronouns. - Logan almost always corrects them though even if it makes his situation worse because he does not have a chill, someone please stop him - Thomas calls Logan the right name/uses the right pronouns from the start which helps with trust - Literally is the biggest troublemaker ever, because he’s stubborn as fuck and also refuses to follow any sort of rule he thinks is stupid or unfair. Has his own agenda in life, most of which revolves around keeping Patton, Roman, and Virgil safe and with him at all times, and will do whatever it takes for that to happens - Gives zero shits what anyone thinks about him (except he sort of cares what Patton, Roman, and Virgil think and eventually Thomas too) - He’s the honorary grandson of a knitting club that meets in the library every Wednesday night. They all love him and his rebellion, especially once they see him interact with Pat, Ro, and V, and are always giving him tips on how not to get caught. They’ve taught him how to knit although he doesn’t admit that, and help him whenever he needs to do something he maybe shouldn’t - They’re also totally chill with him being trans and are willing to fight people who say he is too young - Literally the best role models ever, I love them - A tol boy. Even at 12 he’s already v tall and still growing. None of his pants fit him anymore, so Thomas has to take him shopping after he takes them in just so that he has something that fits - Used to cut his own hair when it got too long with a little help from Patton, and while it always looked a little messy it was better than the dysphoria caused by long hair - He gets his first real haircut after moving in with Thomas when Patton asks to borrow scissors to cut Logan’s hair and Thomas offers to book an appointment with an actual hair stylist instead - Is a huge fucking nerd who loves space and would love to be an astronaut except that it would require him to leave the others and he’s too attached to do that (although he would never admit that because “ew, feelings” - “VIVA LA PLUTO, FUCK YOU” - Likes watching the stars when he’s stressed, it calms him down. - He also likes talking about the stars with the others when they’re upset, it’s basically the only way he knows how to calm them down. It works most of the time. - Also is really fascinated by the ocean but hasn’t spent a lot of time studying it. It lowkey scares him as much as it fascinates him. - Maybe wants to be a marine biologist, who knows, he’s fucking 12 after all - Self Care who? I don’t know her. - Will fight his family if they don’t take care of themselves but he doesn’t do it himself - A true disaster gay - Would stay up all night studying if Patton could sleep alone. Sometimes he sneaks out of bed if Ro or Virgil joins Patton because of nightmares and will sit reading at his desk for hours until one of them wakes up and drags him to bed - Has passed out his desk several times. Has literally zero regrets, unless Patton finds him and scolds him because Patton is good at making him feel guilty for doing that. - Hella smart, which he uses to keep from getting caught doing things he shouldn’t - Grew up too fast and never got to really act like a child because he always felt the need to protect the others from the day he met Patton - Has trouble letting loose, even after they are taken in by Thomas, although slowly he learns to relax just a little, and there are rare times he completely lets himself go - One of those times is when they visit the Planetarium and Science Museum, and Logan lets his enthusiasm and joy take over as he drags the others around to each exhibit, excitedly explaining everything he knows on each topic before they move on. - A true Slytherclaw
Patton Morgan: - The second oldest - The softest puffball ever, unless you hurt his friends in which case he will fight you zero hesitation - The Dad Friend who will adopt literally anyone who needs him even if they’re older than him it doesn’t matter, you’re still one of his kiddos - Was given up when he was a few months old for unknown reasons, always has been curious about his parents but there’s no information to go on so he tries not to let it bug him. Besides he has his own famILY and he loves them more than anything - Gives the best hugs, and gives them all the time. Always greets people with a hug, even if it hasn’t been the long since he last saw them - Has trouble sleeping alone so he usually sleeps with Logan especially when they were kids. - Loves all animals, especially cats, even if he’s allergic and cannot resist helping an animal in need. He’s gotten in trouble quite a few times for hiding injured wild animals in his room that he was nursing back to health - Animals love him just as much back, everywhere he goes he attracts them like a fucking Disney Princess - Not as much of a troublemaker as Logan, doesn’t like breaking the rules or making others upset with him, but will do it when necessary, usually to protect his family - Loves to bake and taught himself to do so with a bit of help from Logan when he was 7. Always gets in trouble for baking unsupervised, and has burned himself more than once by getting distracted - Tried to cook once and ended up almost setting the kitchen on fire. He’s not allowed to cook anymore. - Loves to draw and is actually pretty good at it, but thinks of it as more of a silly hobby than anything else (as in he doesn’t think he’s that great but he others strongly disagree) - Owns way too many coloring books that he likes to share with the others when they’re stressed, it’s the ultimate relaxation technique - Looks on the bright side of life and tries to keep a positive attitude as much as possible. - Loves make others happy it is his favorite past time - Shorter than Logan but not by much. He’s covered in freckles and has curly dirty blonde hair that’s almost always messy and impossible to tame but in a cute way - He’s adorable and he knows it and uses it to keep himself and his family out of trouble - Convinced Logan to get matching glasses because he thought it was cute - Has a super pretty singing voice but always gets really shy about it and insists it’s not that good - Spends a lot of time threatening to fight his friends for not believing in themselves or thinking they’re not good enough/good at something, but also is a major hypocrite because he always talks down about himself - Needs! To! Learn! Self! Love!! - Wears his heart on his sleeve and always feels every emotion like, 10000%, which leads to him getting hurt a lot and the others threatening to beat people up - Used to get bullied until Logan found out, afterward which everyone was too scared to even look at Patton wrong because Logan is hella fucking protective when he needs to be - Loves Christmas, to the point where as soon as Halloween is over he’s blasting Christmas carols and watching Christmas movies, he even makes his own decorations out of paper because that’s all they have and covers everything with cheer - Has a journal where he writes all the good stuff that happens every day which helps cheer him up when he’s sad - Aggressively loves you tbh - Cries when he’s angry/frustrated, which often makes people think that he is weak/they need to baby him - Does Not need to be treated like a child, he can take care of himself perfectly fine thank you very much - Never is ashamed to admit when he does need help, which is why he gets frustrated when people don’t believe him when he says he can handle something - Good at reading people and always knows what they need to hear when they need to hear it - Has the best puns - An honest to god Slytherpuff and it’s terrifying
Roman Creasy: - The baby - The smolest child, will actually fight you if you point it out though - Was raised by a single mother until he was 5, it had always been just the two of them and they were really close so he was super upset when she died - She was killed in a car accident by a drunk driver. Roman walked away with only a few cuts and bruises - Roman doesn’t really like riding in cars and gets antsy when he has to be in them too long as a result - Learned from an early age that nothing in life comes for free so if you want your dreams to come true you have to work for them - Believes that anything is possible if you’re willing to put in the effort, no dream is too big even when others say it’s unrealistic - Wants to be an actor on Broadway and has since he was two and his mom took him for the first time to the local theater. He fell in love instantly with the music, the dancing, the sparkling lights, and declared that that was what he wanted to do - He spends a lot of time practicing even though others don’t always see it like that. He’s always singing, dancing, trying to get better, every story he tells is a performance because he’s practicing for being on stage - Loves all things Disney and will defend the movies to his grave, if you insult them in front of him you’ve made a mistake because he will go off on you - His favorite princess is Mulan and his favorite prince Flynn Ryder - One of the last things he has from before his mom died is the prince outfit she bought him for Halloween when he was five. It was too big then, and now it’s mostly falling apart, but he still wears the sash when he plays prince - After Thomas takes them in, Thomas buys him a new costume that Roman wears basically all the time - Is always covered in cuts and bruises from “Questing”, and from doing things like climbing trees he shouldn’t or climbing on top the monkey bars and falling off. - Roman gets into a lot of trouble but usually on accident, he’s an act now think later sort of person, often times he sees rules as a challenge rather than something to be followed, and he doesn’t hesitate to save someone in trouble (He’s gotten into a few fights with bullies at school, Logan is proud and Patton just concerned). - He writes stories all the time but will only share them with his family because he doesn’t think they’re that good. - He also has the tendency to start things and never finish them because he just has a lot of ideas - He carries a notebook around so that he jots down his ideas whenever they come to him so he doesn't forget them because his mind is just always going - Whenever he has nightmares he’ll sneak into Patton and Logan’s room and depending on what it was about depends on who he wakes up for comfort - Most of the time he wakes up Patton because a hug from him can cure basically anything and he’s the best at comfort - When he dreams about his mom though he usually wakes up Logan because he needs the comfort of the mom friend - Is adorable as fuck and knows it. His hair is a light brown and a little wavy, the ends are dyed red after he moves in with Thomas and he mostly keeps it pushed out of his face but when he gets really excited some of it falls in his eyes and it makes him look even more adorable, he has freckles on his face from the sun but that’s it. - He’s almost always happy and excited and is like the most precious child in the world, always ready for adventure, he’s basically like a puppy I love him. - He’s really smart but has trouble sitting still and learning, but Logan helps him out by taking the time to explain things in a way that keeps Roman interested and at a pace he can understand - Took dance classes before his mother died and really wants to take them again, but he also doesn’t want to bother Thomas by asking so he just tries to teach himself from videos he sees online - Thomas catches on at some point and signs Roman up for classes and Ro cries he is so grateful - Pretends that he’s super confident and bulletproof and like nothing can hurt him, but is actually really sensitive and takes everything that people say to heart - Craves validation and being praised which leads to him going out of his way to get attention - Is such a people pleaser. He wants everyone to like him and gets upset when they don’t - Needs to be protected he is literally so pure - Self-identified Gryffindor willing to fight you about it, but could easily be Ravenclaw or Slytherin
Virgil Antley: - The newest to the family, he’s only been with them about five months before Thomas takes them in - The second youngest, about 6 months older than Roman - They are all very protective over him, literally the other three would kill for Virgil without a second thought. - An anxious babe, but also really soft and sweet. - Just wants to be loved tbh - Cries when people yell at him. - Usually assumes if someone is mad it’s his fault and tries to apologize even if they’re not mad at him - Because of his anxiety there’s a lot of times that he can’t talk, so Logan taught them all sign language so that they communicate when Virgil has trouble speaking - Was put into the system after his parents were arrested for drug charges and stayed at the same group home as the others for 4 months while his parents went to rehab and tried to prove they were fit to have a kid again - Got really attached to the others after Logan calmed him down from a nightmare talking about stars and then Patton cuddled him until he fell back asleep. - It took him a little longer to warm up to Roman cause he’s so loud and excitable, but after Ro fell asleep on him one night Virgil decided he didn’t mind him so much - Virgil is highly protective over Roman, and will fight anyone that touches him. - They bicker a lot and can be sort of mean to each other but in a playful way and if anyone else said the things about Ro that Virgil did (or vice versa), Virgil would kick their ass - After 4 months had passed his parents came to take him home and Virgil doesn’t really want to go but there’s literally nothing the others can do. - Logan yells and throws a fit because there’s clearly something off, no kid should be afraid of their parents like Virgil is of his but there’s literally nothing they can do - Two weeks later Virgil’s parents get arrested for child abuse after Virgil misses like three days of school and they come to his house to find him locked in the basement covered in bruises - He had a broken arm and quite a few bruised/cracked ribs from where he fell (was pushed) down the stairs and a concussion, as well as being dehydrated from being locked up for so long without food or drink. - The three boys sneak into the hospital to see him when they find out and refuse to leave Virgil’s side until he’s discharged and eventually the doctors give in because it would honestly just cause Virgil more trauma at this point to remove them then to let them stay - He returns to the group home after a few days in the hospital for about a week, until someone (Thomas) offers to foster him so that he could get access to the care he really needed to recover from the trauma - Which leads to Thomas taking in all four boys after he sees them together and decides they can’t be separated - Before meeting the others Virgil was pretty touch starved, so afterwards he becomes super clingy and is usually always in physical contact with at least one of the others in some form. It also helps calm him down and keep him grounded when his anxiety is !!!! - Learned to play the piano from his music teacher when he was 5 and was basically a natural. - By the time he moves in with Thomas, who has a piano in his living room, he hasn’t played in over a year and it takes him a while to actually work up the courage to do so again, but he’s still just as good. - He wants to learn other instruments when he gets older, but right now hasn’t decided exactly what yet - Average height for his age, but also too skinny thanks to neglect. On the paler side, but not necessarily in the way that looks unhealthy, it’s just his skin tone. - Likes to hide behind his fringe (which is dyed purple thanks to Thomas) because it makes him feel safer. He usually wears an oversized hoodie for the same reason - Has the cutest fucking puppy eyes that you cannot resist and melts even the most frozen of hearts - Is honestly a really chill child, especially compared to Roman who is sort of high demand, he doesn’t require much attention on a day to day basis but he does like it when he gets some - Has a curious side that he doesn’t show a lot because anxiety, but like as he becomes more comfortable around the others he starts asking more questions. - Once he gets started, its hard to get Virgil to stop asking questions, he always wants to know more, partly for the fun of it, partly because the more knows the more his anxiety is eased - Likes science because it’s a lot about asking questions and trying to find answers. - Logan and Virgil have gotten into a lot of questionable situations in the name of science -Tbh he’s a Griffinclaw but he will literally fight you over that
Thomas Sanders: - The foster dad who takes the boys in - In a constant state of s t r e s s - Is Trying His Best with mild success - There are good and bad days, though he likes to think there’s more good than bad over time - Just wants the boys to be happy healthy children who aren’t worried about things they shouldn’t be, like not getting food or being separated or being punished for giving their opinion - Although yelling isn’t the best way to share your thoughts, Logan, there is a polite way to disagree with someone especially if they’re willing to listen to you there’s no need shout - A pure soul - Often bites off more than he can chew because he just wants to help others out and make them happy - Signed up to be a foster parent so that he could help out kids in need - Virgil was supposed to be his first foster kid, alone, but when Thomas met the others (and maybe was threatened a bit by Logan and Patton) and saw the four of them together he decided he was going to take all of them - A lot of people think he’s crazy for taking on four kids his first time, especially when all of those four kids are known for making trouble and/or were dealing with effects of various types of trauma - Thomas thinks he’s crazy a lot of the time too, but at the same time these boys are worth it - A high school music teacher who also helps out a lot with theater, also basically the coolest teacher in school everyone loves him - He learned sign language after he decided to be a teacher because he figured it could help out with students/parents/siblings - Acts whenever he has a chance at the local theater downtown - He takes the boys there one Saturday and Roman falls in love instantly - Honestly one of the things that helps Roman open up to him - Does his best to support the boys however he can, like getting Logan new clothes and a haircut, buying Virgil sheet music and letting him use the piano, taking Roman to dance classes, and very easily being talked into adopting a dog by Patton (He had been debating on doing it anyways, and Pat had a good point it might help the others open up and trust him more and also help Virgil relax a bit) - Is super excited/proud whenever one of the boys opens up to him a little or even when they just start to relax more in his presence - Almost cries the first time Virgil talks to him tbh because it’s such a big deal - Loves to do things that makes the boys happy and spends so much time trying to figure out what they each enjoy so that he can take them to those things - He tries his best to accommodate each one of the boys and their little quirks - Like that he shouldn’t ever raise his voice around Virgil and to make sure he gives the boy extra reassurance when something went wrong - Or that the best way to get Roman to do anything, even the things he didn’t want to do, was to make it seem like a quest of some sort - Realizes early on that Patton hated being treated like he couldn’t take care of himself so he lets him have independence first, and when he does offer help makes it clear it’s not because he doesn’t think Patton is capable, but because he just likes to help - Picks up on the fact that Logan shoves aside his own needs and wants to put the others first, so he makes it his mission to give Lo gentle reminders to take care of himself, steps in when he gets too stressed and gets him to relax, and encourages him to indulge in the little pleasures he otherwise wouldn’t. - Before the boys move in with him, Thomas doesn’t cook a lot, he doesn’t really know how and with his schedule and school there wasn’t always a lot of time, but when he takes them in he makes an effort to start cooking more, and although it’s a bit of a disaster at first with the help of Logan (who treats cooking like a science), between the two of them they manage to figure it out and soon it becomes pretty rare that they set off the fire alarm - Patton teaches Thomas how to bake!! It’s really cute, and it’s one of the ways they bond from the very beginning. - Thomas is open from the start with the boys that this is just as much of a learning experience for him as it is for them, all of them are in this boat together trying to figure out how it works and the best way to go about things, they might make mistakes but it was okay because none of them were perfect - Still, Thomas always gets upset with himself every time he says/does something that sets back the progress he’s made with the boys. He tries not to let them see that though because he doesn’t want them to blame themselves. - Loves his boys from the moment he meets them, lowkey wants to adopt them after a few weeks but like is too scared to bring it up because he doesn’t want to scare them off - The Best Dad - A Hufflepuff through and through
#Sanders Sides#Logan Sanders#Roman Sanders#Patton Sanders#Virgil Sanders#Thomas Sanders#Orphans AU#The World We're Gonna Make Verse#Ravenpuff Writes
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Category: Gen
Genre: Angst/Family/Fluff
Fandoms: DC Comics, Batverse
Continuity: Post-Crisis/Pre-Flashpoint
Summary: In Hindsight, Tim realizes he used to be both extremely naïve and aware of the world. He wasn't sure whether he had “grown” or just changed. But too much had happened for him to be the same.
Word Count: 1 970
AN: Hello everyone. I'm sorry for not posting this sooner but, while most of my works are somewhat finished, I write on paper and rewriting on the computer takes time (and then comparing the first draft to the rewriting, and then trying to edit it a little because of mistakes...it takes more time than I'd like to admit...though the rewriting part is what takes the longest because sometimes it takes me like 3 days to do one sentence because I remember I have homework or I have to go to work...). I won't be posting day 5 (favorite relationship) because...I couldn't choose between Dick and Kon and tried to use both and it ended up becoming sorta TimKon and I didn't want Dick to feel left out...or Bart and it's a mess I have to try to rework. If I can't manage to rework it I'll post the best version. As for day 6, I just thought I had rewritten it on my computer and posted it when I started rewriting day 7 but I haven't yet and I'm currently rewriting others (TimKon Week and the Batfam Halloween event) so... it'll come, one day ^^'.ANYWAY. This piece, while a standalone can be seen as a sequel to that piece. I hope you enjoy it :)
To read it on AO3
In hindsight, Tim realizes he used to be both extremely naïve and aware of the world.
In the words of the internet, his naïveté mainly came from his privilege.
He knew a lot of things from reading newspapers (well…what had been about Batman and other heroes as well as what he could gather about Art History which, depending on the journalist, could open a window on the world) but it was “from afar”, he was never really confronted with their concrete application until he met Bruce and was transferred to a non-private (and non-boarding) school. Meeting Ives and Ariana was kind of a wake-up call and so was meeting Steph and, really, the many others who followed. There was also his constant denial of the state of his birth family and how it had impacted the way he took the death of Dick’s parents by projecting on Batman and Robin…that….took some time to deal with (hint: he had never truly dealt with it) and was the root of many of his issues. And then, then there was all he saw of the world as Robin.
Now, however, he had become almost completely cynical. There was a reason why he knew the Anti-Life Equation after all. Sort of. Because at the same time, even if it made sense, he refused it and there was a very simple reason for that. The naïve part of his being never truly left and, in a way, was heavily encouraged by his training with Batman. There is something to say after all, about a man dressed as a bat who tries to prevent others from being hurt the way he had been during the night and who tries to help redeem the crimes of others by giving them constant second chances as well as tries to prevent them by making affordable healthcare or rehabilitation programs through various of his own associations and giving money to others. Because that belief that people could change, that you should trust that they would try and deserve those new chances? It was all Bruce’s.
Of course, Bruce had also had to learn paranoia so some of his lessons went against this faith in people, yet, despite all the paranoia he had tried to create in his protégé, a part of Bruce always seemed to be burning with the trust he put in others (or maybe it was just a hope that he could trust them?). And Tim had been at the best place to see it worsen over the years. As such he ended up developing a paranoia-trust dichotomy similar to Bruce’s but… He never quite managed to take his paranoia as far as Bruce’s - or Dick's- because he couldn’t help himself and almost always trusted people he had just met despite himself. He had learned, however, not to be surprised if he was betrayed and to sometimes prepare for it even if a tiny bit - and even then, he never completely managed to if his surprise that no one would give him the benefit of the doubt after Bruce's death was anything to go by. Because being trusting didn’t mean being an idiot.
It was amazing how he had both changed and stayed the same over the years.
He had gone through a lot to learn to balance awareness turned paranoia and naïveté, cynicism and trust and there were periods of time when he couldn’t help the cynicism and paranoia overcoming him. It was especially bad after Conner’s death as it was probably the first time they had truly made themselves known (instead of simply just being him channeling his inner Bruce and Dick in order to appear professional) and then Bruce’s death. Though… It was mostly true after Bruce’s death. The truth is that after Conner’s he wasn’t really functioning enough of a person for anything besides crushing depression and overall numbness for those to overcome him (maybe he should consider Bart’s death as a threshold too?). And retrospectively, Bruce’s method of “repressing it until it no longer bothers you” hadn’t worked. on him. If anything it had made things worse. Because for Bruce, even for Dick really, repressing actually fueled them. Of course, their level of angst and depression went up too but it still helped their vigilante life. On a side note it seemed like the Batfam was blessed with overall good friendships with outsiders who often did what they could to help them out of their funk when repressing became too much for them, and maybe that was Tim’s issues. His friends were either dead or… “out of the way” …Though unlike most of his family Tim didn’t really have any issue with asking for help.
So for Tim, that technique just…blocked him. Blocked him until his level of empathy seemed to start lowering and he just did what he had to do to help.
He honestly doesn’t know what would have happened to him if Bruce…No. If Conner hadn’t come back. Because realizing Conner was really alive, that he could have his best friend back? It felt as if he could be happy again (that night he had smiled one of his first honest smiles of happiness, of contentedness in over two years and finding actual clues about Bruce’s survival was important but not for the obvious reasons). After that -and he hated saying it- but getting Bruce back wasn’t as important. Not because he didn’t care, of course, after all, he’d have given his life to bring him back if it had been needed. The thing is though, had Conner been with him in the first place when Bruce had died, he would have mourned him. He wouldn’t have been desperate to have him be alive to the point of noticing something was wrong. And this belief (no, this knowledge) mattered because having Bruce and Dick hadn’t helped him mourn Conner. Bruce being alive was more important for the family, or even Gotham at that point more than for Tim’s sake. Well except for his sanity (and that’s why he could finally digest the idea that his best friends were back, Paris hadn’t been a hallucination). Learning that Bruce was indeed alive and that he hadn’t “gone insane with grief” was pretty great.
So having both back? That was the best feeling and it was also key in turning two years of hell into fuel for growth instead of just stagnating at an all-time low.
The sole fact that he still needed a crutch to help him deal said a lot about the state of his mental health but he had come a long way from the time when denial and projecting were his main coping mechanisms. Kon had helped a great deal in reminding Tim that he was allowed to deal while Bruce was probably one of the first people to actually listen and respond to Tim’s babbling (whether it was about his days, his missions, and Tim had even started talking about some of his issues. For all intent and purposes, Bruce had acted like his father very early on. He had been a better father than his biological father had been. And Tim couldn’t help but feel bitter at the fact that Bruce had been a relatively better father for him before he adopted him than after…not on all matters seeing as he had been more openly affectionate with Tim but it didn’t prevent Tim from feeling like he always had to prove he was worthy of it. ....Damian hadn’t helped). It was the same with Dick who was his brother long before either were adopted by Bruce, who had become his brother when he had been his Batman, which is why losing him after Bruce (and Conner) died destroyed the small amount of stability Tim had left. But again, had Conner been alive, had tim still noticed something was wrong, he could have dealt with this.
It wasn’t so much because Tim was dependent on Conner more than he was on Bruce and Dick. Though he kinda was, it’s more that Conner had helped him realize that he didn’t need Bruce and Dick as much as he used to because he had actual relationships like Cassie, Bart or Cass (even Cissie and Anita had they not somewhat lost touch). But Conner died barely more than a year after they founded Young Justice and due to their own complicated history, the development of their friendship and their help with each other’s issues had happened too close to Conner’s death for Tim to be able to apply what he had learned in dealing healthily (or as healthily as possible). He had time to get attached to his best friend in the five months that followed the reveal of his identity but he hadn’t had enough time to adapt to this attachment in a relatively healthy way. Still, Cassie had helped him a little after they made up -after she discovered how terribly he was dealing with Conner’s death- and so did Dick (after all he was the one Tim called when he felt suicidal enough to be tempted to jump or take one too many pills).
Mostly though, Tim was never as content as when he was with Conner. He’d love to say as happy but sadly, while it was a bit true, before Conner’s death, he and Tim’s friendship had truly started at a time when their environment prevented either of them from actually being happy and the fact that so much happened in such a short lapse of time didn’t help. Between Bruce being accused of murder, Tim’s father losing his money and going back to forgetting he had a son to take care of, then finding about his night life and his death following Steph’s, Conner having to deal with his non-existent life outside of heroics and trying to adapt to having a relatively stable family, having to get used to a new name, a new identity , learning that he was half megalomaniac instead of 9/10th Apple Pie as well as what seemed to be like feelings for Cassie to deal with -which, retrospectively weren’t even especially romantic,….It had been a lot.
But now, now that Tim had started processing everything that happened to him? Conner was the person who made him the happiest and the most content. He was even getting ready to talk to Bruce after having recently talked with Dick.
He was truly amazed at how so many terrible things had allowed him to get so much better than how he had started out when it came to trust and love. How putting his trust in others had been so rewarding and how even the harshest betrayals had helped him.
How despite everything, while he had become fairly cynical he could still be so utterly trusting. How, while he had shed some of his naïveté it hadn’t completely disappeared so much as evolved into a belief in people despite his knowledge that they could and might betray him.
And as he was sitting in the kitchen beside the picnic Alfred had prepared for him and Bruce to eat after their Tennis matches (which is when they would talk. There was to better way to unwind before a meeting you knew was gonna be tense).
He was eating freshly made cookies and couldn’t help feeling apprehensive of how their talk was going to go through. Yet, unlike what a lot of people would believe, Bruce was a good listener when he realized the subject at hand was something important for the person he was communicating with (unless very specific circumstances). So if things had gone well with Dick? And if he had a shot at repairing his relationship with all his loved ones? He would take it.
Author’s end note : When I rewrote this on word the first thing I thought was "damn this is so messy" then I stopped and realized "you wrote this from Tim's Point of Vue, of course it's messy"... if I start forgetting how I'm writing my stories I'm not gonna go far...
By the way, one @Chonaku-Things told me recently that it was impressive how I almost always manage to bring everything back to my ships (especially true for TimKon and SpideyTorch) and I would like to defend myself. It's not that I do it because I ship them, it's quite the opposite as I simply ended up shipping them because that's how they're written (whether on purpose or not). It's their fault, I just notice the patterns and end up shipping it because it's almost always there.
Here's a post that explains how I see the timeline between the first Young Justice issue and Infinite Crisis (though it technically starts at the beginning of Robin v4). Well...Sort of. I didn't detail it because for this all you need is an overview and I didn't have the faith to do it event by event (I have a relatively complete chart in my mind but I'm not an encyclopedia so there are some things that're missing or might be wrong for the detailed version that I'd have to look up. Which is why I keep this chart short and clear, it helps recenter the timeline and reduces the issues I have to go through when I need something a bit more complete, it's weird to have it done instead of just staying in my head).
Anyway, I'm a bit tired of people who talk about Tim's paranoia being on par with Bruce's as a way to show how extremely paranoid he is when:
Bruce in Pre-New 52 wasn't actually that paranoïd (unlike New 52 or Nolan's movies, most of his choices come from his experience yet "paranoia" usually means it's not warranted).
Tim is like...one of the most trusting members of the Batfam. The end of his Robin run and his Red Robin series are his most distrustful periods and the kid still keeps on trusting people. (he told pretty much everyone he thought there might be a chance Bruce was alive. He told Cassie he had freaking heard the Anti-Life Equation, he trusted Lynx even if he knows it might not be true and I doubt it's just because she's pretty (even if Tim does have a weakness for pretty girls he still does these kinds of things everyone?...just not the making out part)).
I've also actually read A Lonely Place of Living and it was terrible. Like, I didn't expect to like it and I knew that if they tried to pretend N52/Rebirth Tim was the same as pre New 52 Tim it was going to get messy (different to the point of almost opposition personalities will do that to you), but I didn't expect it to be that bad. If you want my more complete opinion on ALPoL here's my liveblog of it.
#timkon#DC comics#tim drake positivity week#Tim Drake#Dick Grayson#BrOTP: Tim & Dick#Family: The Waynes#BrOTP: TimKon#OTP: TimKon#Conner Kent
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