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the-eclectic-wonderer · 4 months ago

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is there anything golden girls you have Lots of Thoughts on that you haven't got to talk about fully or been asked about yet? consider this a free space to share those thoughts.

Anon, this question is essentially a declaration of love to me. You couldn't have made me happier. I am kissing you on the lips (or going to buy the best cheesecake in the world for you, your pick).

After some deliberation, I ended up choosing a subject I've been thinking about (and mentioning on here) ever since my first watch-through of the series, i.e. why a queer reading of Dorothy, Blanche and Rose doesn't only make sense because of their interactions with each other, but is actually in line with their journey as characters, the challenges they face, and the overall tune of the show. It seems like I ended up writing a short essay about it, so I'm putting it all under a cut. Hope you enjoy!

Ok, so, I'd like to make a little premise first. I love the platonic view of the show. I'm always always fond of stories that celebrate the importance of platonic bonds. If anything I'm sort of annoyed that they sometimes use familial language (they're ‘sisters’, Sophia loves them 'as her own') to symbolize their love for one another, but I understand why they chose to use it -- it's a quick way to communicate profound affection to the audience, and especially to the audience at the time.

That being said, I feel like a queer romantic view of the bond between Dorothy, Rose, and Blanche is equally poignant -- and of course it's especially dear to me, as a queer woman. For one thing, it’s still in tune with the core message of the show: whatever kind of affection they feel for one another, they’re still an unusual unit by societal standards, and yet there's no doubt that they’re the most important people in each other’s life (in fact, one could argue that they are, in canon, what today we'd call a QPR, but I digress). They love each other, they're committed to each other, they share their lives, in a way that doesn't conform to societal standards.

Dorothy sums it up very well in her speech in S7E4 That’s For Me To Know: they’re not a conventional family, but theirs is a real, honest love. This is a message that feels very in tune with the queer experience: how many of us have been told that our loves, our identities, our relationships and our (chosen) families aren’t real? Not to mention some of the problems they face: how many queer people have been kept apart from their loved ones in the hospital because they weren't related? How many have gone through the anxiety of an HIV test? I'm not surprised the show resonated so much with queer people in the 80s/90s, and I'm not surprised it still does.

Dorothy

What about the characters themselves? Let's start with Dorothy, since I've already spoken a bit about her in the past. Dorothy's character journey is, in essence, a journey towards self-discovery, self-acceptance, and self-love. She begins the show as a recently divorced woman who has been with the same horrid man for her entire adult life, a man she married in a hurry because he got her pregnant at 17; her self-esteem is on the floor. She doesn't know what being loved in a romantic sense means. Through living with the Girls she learns how to take back what she's lost; how to feel secure in her sexuality and attractiveness, how to love herself more, and (as a consequence of this self-love) how to open herself up to the world and other people. She even states so in the series finale:

We've all learned a lot from each other. I mean, Ma taught me life does not end because you've reached a certain age. And I've become much more comfortable with my sexuality because of Blanche. And Rose has taught me… Rose has taught me... [...] Anyway, because of them I feel that I'm ready to love you. (S7E25 One Flew Out Of The Cuckoo's Nest)

This is a queer-aligned narrative already!! Years and years of sacrifice and repression followed by a journey towards self-discovery thanks to love, support, and a sense of community? That's queer, baby! I particularly like the interpretation of Dorothy as a repressed lesbian because I feel like it fits very well with her character traits, but honestly, any queer reading of her fits as well. Having her realize that she is queer and eventually choose to act on it would have been a great way to reinforce her character journey.

It also would have added some amazing layers to her whole backstory, both as pertains to her marriage (doesn't it all feel more tragic, if you think of her as a repressed lesbian?) and, for example, to her friendship with Jean (how would she have felt seeing her friend be openly gay while she denied the same truth about herself?). I just think there's lots and lots that could be explored when we consider Dorothy in this lens.

Blanche

On to Blanche. A lot of Blanche's character traits (her vanity, her self-centeredness, her need to be the center of attention in a positive way) stem, I feel, from the way she was treated in her childhood and from two pivotal episodes in her life: the 'disappearance' of her Mammy and George's death. Her stories about her childhood (especially the ones she tells when her sisters are involved in an episode) make it seem as if her parents, while affectionate (Big Daddy especially), weren't exactly involved; she had to fight for their attention in constant competition with her siblings, particularly her sisters. There were only two people in her life whose love didn't feel dependent on her performance, her Mammy and George, and they both disappeared from her life abruptly and without any warning.

What does this teach a person? That they have to be the most attractive version of themselves at all times; that they need to be very careful with how they present themselves in society, so that they may always appear as the best within the bunch; that even the people who seem to love them unconditionally can leave them at any minute. The end result is Blanche, the woman in the mask. She seems very open in her attitude, especially towards the sexual sphere of life, but she's open in the same way the titular character of Fleabag is open:

Yeah, I think she’s using a certain type of honesty as a weapon of distraction. She talks very openly and honestly about sex so you feel like she’s being open with you when, actually, she’s completely hiding by doing that. She’s distracting you from a completely different side of her, which is the side that’s traumatized and in pain. (from this interview to Phoebe Waller-Bridge)

In truth, she's always very attentive to the way she presents herself to others, because she's afraid that people will turn away from her if she steps out of her persona. Look at what she says to her Mammy in S6E5 Wham, Bam, Thank You, Mammy:

You didn't even say goodbye. I woke up one morning, and you were gone. I loved you. I spent the next few years wondering what I'd done, what I'd said to make you leave me.

She's convinced (until this episode, at least) that she was abandoned by someone she loved so dearly because of something she'd done. And, well, George's death is a bit of a different thing, but also... do you think she hasn't spent long, sleepless nights wondering what would have happened if she'd convinced him not to go wherever he was going? If she'd gone with him? If she'd made different choices, if she'd said different things, if she'd been better?

What does all this have to do with queerness? Well... we know that some of Blanche's issues manifest in her constant concern with how society perceives her. This ranges from her search for rich and sophisticated men to parade around to her struggle to accept Rebecca's decision to undergo artificial insemination -- not to mention how she reacts to Clayton's coming out and especially to his decision to marry Doug. If that was how she reacted to a member of her family proudly coming out as gay, how would she react to the realization that she might also be queer in some way?

I figure the steps would be her usual ones -- denial denial denial, fear of judgement, bargaining with herself, eventual acceptance and even pride -- but with the added complexity of having to deal with something that concerns her and her desires. Not her daughter, not her brother, her. If she comes out and/or acts on her attraction, any eventual consequence from a societal standpoint would be due to her actions, not a reflection of someone close to her, and I feel like that would be interesting to explore. We already know she can get over her fear and prejudices when it comes to the people she loves; can she do the same for herself? I like to think she would, eventually, overcome her need for societal approval, just like she (sort of) does in the show, and the journey there would be fascinating from a character standpoint.

Rose

What about Rose? There's a minor thread in her character journey that's about fear of intimacy due to Charlie's death, but it gets resolved pretty early on (apart from an episode in S7, but I feel like that's more of a momentary setback than anything major). Apart from this, I think her character growth is about becoming bolder: more sure of herself, better at advocating for herself and her loved ones, better at asking people to respect her needs and wants.

This is a very minor spoiler for The Golden Palace, so thread with a pinch of caution, but -- in it, Dorothy is shocked that Rose became strong, and while I understand her surprise, I don't think that's necessarily the right word to use. Rose is meek, and gentle, and she certainly wasn't at her best at the beginning of the show (S1E9 Break In and S1E22 Job Hunting are proof enough), but I think we forget that she's overcome a lot throughout her life. It takes a strong person to recognize that her home is too filled with grief to keep living there, and uproot her whole life (leaving behind her whole community and support system) to begin to heal:

The winters are rough, here in Minnesota, and this place is too filled with memories to let me get on with my life. I need to start over without you, Charlie, and I think this is the best way. (from S2E25 A Piece Of Cake)

I think she's always been a tough cookie, and remarkably in touch with her emotions, even if her grief for Charlie momentarily weakened her. Living with the Girls helps her get her conviction back and gain the newfound boldness she needs to know she has a spine of steel and use it when the moment calls for it.

Realizing that she might be queer would encourage her in this journey towards boldness, I feel. I don't think she'd have any internal hang-ups like Dorothy and Blanche would (her sort of reticence towards homosexuality in the show seems like it comes from a place of ignorance, rather than repression), but we know she can be sensitive to societal perception, even if not at Blanche's level (see S1E13 A Little Romance), and a queer relationship is the sort of thing that, unfortunately, invites a lot of societal scrutiny. The need to be there and ensure the safety and happiness of her partner(s) would embolden her to show her strength and aid her journey as a character.

Sophia

As an addendum: what would a coming out from any of her three Girls (Dorothy especially) mean for Sophia? In the show she's always supportive of homosexuality:

Jean is a nice person; she just likes girls instead of guys. Some people like cats instead of dogs. Frankly, I'd rather live with a lesbian than a cat. Unless a lesbian sheds, that I don't know. I'll tell you the truth, Dorothy. If one of my kids was gay, I wouldn't love him one bit less. I would wish him all the happiness in the world. (S2E5 Isn't It Romantic?)

That's what Doug and Clayton want, too. Everyone wants someone to grow old with. And shouldn't everyone have that chance? (S6E14 Sisters Of The Bride)

However, she's also shown to have some hang-ups when it comes to this sort of thing. Her issues with Phil's cross-dressing are the best example, but I'd count her attitude towards Rose while they're waiting for her AIDS test results in the mix, too. I wonder if a coming out from (one of) her Girls would prove more difficult to handle? I have no doubts that she'd come around in the end, of course -- I just wonder if she might have to work at it a bit first (and if her reaction to Dorothy coming out would be any different from her reaction to Blanche and/or Rose coming out).

Sophia's journey in the show is subtle, and the one I find harder to pinpoint. My personal opinion is that she gradually becomes softer around the edges, more open and openly vulnerable with the Girls; she gets more playful, more relaxed, more in her element as the show progresses. I think it's possible that a coming out from (one of) her Girls would encourage this progression towards openness; having her loved ones confide in her about something so personal would invite more confidence from her part too.

Whew, that was a long answer! It's a mess and I'm sure there's lots more that could be explored -- these are just some of my thoughts finally put on paper. If anyone has anything to add (or any contrasting opinion too!!) I'd love to read what you think!! In the meantime, anon, thank you so much for this ask. You seriously made my week!

#also the humour. oh my god. can you imagine the jokes. they would have changed the world #sophia would have a field day with all this let's not kid ourselves #but i digress. these are thoughts i've been rotating in my mind ever since i first watched the show months ago #and i was happy to finally share them with you all!! thank you anon for giving me the chance!!#i'm really curious to know what everyone has to say on this subject so from the bottom of my heart if you have any thoughts on this:#send them my way!!#even (ESPECIALLY) if you don't agree bc i'm sure my view of all this is partial and coloured by my personal experience #anyway!! this was so much fun!! i checked and it's about 2000 words which is crazy to me?#while writing i thought it was like 700/800 tops #i really enjoyed writing it all down :) thank you once again anon!#the golden girls #writing #ask

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