#happiness and my darkness where i find peace! you are the most important thing that happened to me and i'll never let go of

[the-tarot-witch22]

Messages from your Higher Self - Pick a pile

Pile 1/ Pile 2/ Pile 3

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Hello everyone ! This is my another pick a pile or pac reading so please be kind and leave comment or reblog, and let me know if it resonated with you!

Note : This is a general reading or collective reading. It may or may not resonate with you. Please take what resonates and leave what doesn't. And it's totally okay if our energies aren't aligned!

How to pick : Take a deep breath and choose a pile which you feel most connected to! You can choose more than one pile, it just means both pile have messages for you!

I worked really hard on this pile please show some love by leaving comments, likes and reblogs!

Pile 1:

(The cards I got for you - the hermit, queen of wands and the moon)

Okay so the very first thing I feel and hear is, your higher is very self accomplished as well as happy within themself , they found the very thing they want, their love for themself, they stand up for themself, they fight without hesitating for themselves and their loved ones, your higher self is also very selective on who they let into their lives, they re vary of people at first and only trust after they know them, your higher self seems to be at peace, they like their alone time a lot, they value and love themselves, their might be something important happening in winter weather their just something about that, was so prominent, but anyways, their might be a period of darkness in your life, where you felt alone with the people, or they were just not for you but I see it getting better for you in future, you seem to be finding yourself and your light, i see lots of laughter and happiness in your life, you might be entering into your power era "bad ass vibe", going out of your comfort zone doing things you really like and enjoy, i see you being more confident in your body and self image, your higher self is also very sexy and seductive very confident but also a bit mysterious not letting anything get to them, and only opening up when it's necessary, your higher self is also very transformed. I also feel your higher self is very intuitive and have psychic powers which they are working on to enhance, They did not tell me everything, they just said "stick around and find out", "keep going and don't give up", I also feel your higher self is way more matured, very gentle and kind!

Okay so that's it pile 1, i loved reading for you, such beautiful reassuring messages for you! I just wanna say love yourself and live your life to the fullest~

Pile 2:

(The cards I got for you - 4 of wands, knight of pentacles, page of cups and 9 of pentacles)

Okay so the very first thing i hear is "wedding bells" gosh what a opening to the reading, isn't it? so cute, but anyways let's focus, okay so i feel your higher self is very happily married with the love of your life, i see someone with nothing but tears of joy! 11:11, 1111, 22:22, 2222, 444, are some angel numbers i keep hearing so it might be of importance to you, maybe you see these numbers quite a lot from past few days, I heard your higher self say, we are, where we supposed to be, such a reassuring message for you pile 2, you higher self seems content with themself and their choices, i also heard "there might some blockages happened , but those are just hurdles, and you will pass them", here another message that your higher seems very successful! Your higher self seems loved and admired from people close, there might be someone with bad intentions but i see you guys being careful, your higher self said "only trust the ones, if your gut says so", there might be a big reunion or gathering of sort for you guys, and they enjoyed that, a graduation? or just some celebration, but yeah!, I also feel your higher self climbed the ladder of success and money, they have everything, they seem happy, but i also see a bit of materialistic vibes from this group, i also heard "luxury", so your higher self seems to be worked for it, and they bought the things they love, this group might also be very independent, and have to grow very early mature beyond their years type of vibe, but i see you got the "i am gonna do it for you, let me do it for you husband/wife", your struggles seems to be paid of, your higher self is also very proud of your growth, for some of you i got flirty vibes even tho you are not trying to be lol x, very young at heart, your higher self seems to be very happy and travelled a lot, they are working or studying abroad , or just travelling there, your higher self is so sweet, telling me everything gently, i love that!

That's all pile 2, your higher self seems very sweet and matured, and plus they are happy with you and your growth! The messages are so sweet, i just want to remind you guys "you are beautiful"!

Pile 3:

(The cards I got for you - knight of pentacles, the magician and queen of cups)

Okay so the first thing i heard and feel for you guys is you guys seems to be very comfy and relaxed, your higher self is taking it easy one step at the time, i also heard "don't doom scroll too much", "time is important", I also feel your higher self is taking care of their health a lot, working out going to gym , yoga, dance classes, i also heard "you have potential , do use it, be not afraid to fail", your higher self is also quite grown, like became wise, "i heard - some lessons were important to go through", i feel they are also telling you that past and mistakes, were not entirely your fault, even if it was and you learnt from that, i get friendly vibes from you guys and as well your higher self, so adorable lol, anyways, your higher self is very self accomplished, just like pile 1, i feel there might be messages for you so do check that pile too, your higher self has a good stable job career, i am getting earth and fire sign vibes from this pile, especially Capricorn sun and Sagittarius sun/rising, I also feel your higher self is very passionate!, you higher self seems to be working hard for their goals too, and using their skills for their own and their career, i also heard "infinite abundance", this could indicate you living a good life! very stable and fulfilling life, you guys, your higher self is also very satisfied~, i also feel your higher self is more emotionally mature or express themself without the fear of judgement! you and your higher self seems so nurturing and caring, i also feel your higher self has a pet, like a life long dream and you finally adopt one!

That's all pile 3, amazing and sweet messages from your higher self, love that for you~

Thank you for stopping by! Take care and remember you are loved <3

[hallowpen]

The Concepts of Community & Family as it Relates to Thai Buddhism in Peaceful Property

I really really enjoyed watching this series. I am someone who grew disillusioned with Buddhism at a young age for very personal reasons, only to find my own version of a relationship with it as I grew older and learned to appreciate it from a different perspective. So the spiritual meaning behind this series really resonated with me.

I can only explain things to the best of my personal knowledge, so my apologies if anything is factually incorrect.

There are four basic tenets that one must cultivate in order to achieve true happiness. They are known as the brahmavihara (พรหมวิหาร). 1 - Metta (เมตตา): Literally translating to mean 'goodwill', it is a genuine concern for the well-being of others. 2 - Karuna (กรุณา): Literally translating to mean 'compassion', it is the recognition of another's suffering as one's own and a selfless desire for that suffering to end. 3 - Mutita (มุทิตา): Literally translating to mean 'kindliness', it is the feeling of experiencing sincere gratification from the happiness and success of others, regardless of self-contribution. 4 - Ubeka (อุเบกขา): Literally translating to mean 'equanimity', it is the ability to remain impartial combined with the understanding the we cannot mitigate the personal karma of others.

Essentially, the brahmavihara teaches us to always place others above ourselves... while realizing that they will be responsible for facing their own consequences if they fail to do the same.

How does this play into the "family" dynamics that exist in PP? Oddly enough there are certain facets of Buddhism that preach 'anti-family' values, as family can be one's primary source of attachment and suffering. There is a quote that states, "Family is the blood that burdens you." However, when a familial bloodline has lost its way (or in this case, has been "cursed"), Buddhism encourages surrounding yourself with a community that is organized on a familial basis... what we would call 'sangha' or 'found family'. Valuing the members of that found family above corrupt ideology would realign one's path toward enlightenment. Or in simpler terms, the people we choose to surround ourselves with can spiritually save us from ourselves.

Home's family has been "cursed" by the three poisons of Buddhism: greed, hatred, and ignorance. Phon's greed and value of worldly possessions over others has led her down of path of literal darkness, toward a belief in the occult. Somkid's hatred toward his father has fueled his deceptive behaviors... which he saw as a way to reclaim a father's love (that he believed he never received) from the people who didn't deserve it. Home's grandfather was ignorant as to how his actions, or lack thereof, affected the family that surrounded him.

Home's own version of ignorance would have led to his own karmic downfall. The series does a great job of having Home slowly discover the true meaning of home by integrating him within a 'found family' that teaches him the values of the brahmavihara... which ultimately leads to his spiritual 'awakening' (in a sense).

Metta/Karuna: Communicating with and healing the souls of the spirits the group encounter, requires compassion and understanding... a sense of community/sangha that these spirits and Chobkol (the magician) were lacking.

There were several instances of compassion born out of goodwill, the most obvious being between Home and Peach. Forgiveness is a big deal in Thai Buddhism. It is one of the cornerstones of what we refer to as "harmonious justice", as it promotes ideals of true selflessness. Peach forgiving Home because he's seen the changes in Home and how this one action does not define who Home actively wants to become was really really important. Home and Peach exist in balance of one another... keeping them on a shared karmic path where Home can no longer 'turn a blind eye' to his family's injustices (we could get into that more, but that'll make this even longer than it already is 😜😜😜). I think having Tay and New take on these roles to almost ease the minds of non-Buddhist viewers toward a more Buddhist ideology was actually quietly genius.

Sangha is also what heals the vengeance in Kan's heart, born of the teachings of Metta: "We must refrain from inflicting suffering upon one another and be free from vengeance." It could have been woven into the narrative with a bit more finesse... but I digress.

Ubeka: Home accepts the rightfully directed anger and complaints against him and his family for the harm they have caused. His partiality toward his family, simply because he is related to them, disappears. He stands against his aunt and fights against his uncle at the risk of his own life. And he does so by still allowing them to face the karmic consequences of their own terrible crimes... whether they are at peace with it or not.

Mutita: Home celebrates Peach's dreams above his own wishes... without knowing that they would eventually coincide. I could even argue that their eventual correlation could be a result of Home's 'good karma' paying forward.

Home had to reevaluate his core morals in order to be free of his family's curse (meaning within himself). All these representations of Buddhist notions, born from within his newfound family, are what define Home's idea of the true meaning of home... and happiness.

[choices-and-voices]

Quotes from Kieran that straight-up sound like Shakespearean love poetry: a comprehensive list

‘None may touch me. None but you.’

‘What is left of my heart belongs to you. When you leave, it will shatter anew.’

‘Tell me I did not hurt you.’

‘How am I expected to pass another century without the taste of you on my tongue?’

‘After so many decades spent hating each sunset, knowing nightfall would take my freedom from me... I began to yearn for the moonrise instead of cursing it. Because dreams of you might be waiting on the other side.’

‘I would rather be cursed to roam the wilds as a beast every night than live endless lifetimes without you.’

‘Wherever it is that souls may go, you will find mine waiting for you at the end of all things.’

‘You shall pay dearly for every spilled drop of her blood.’

‘I was not lying. Were you?’

‘Just this once, beloved... I wish you could not lie.’

‘You hold all of my heart, beloved. Now, and always.’

‘I would make and unmake the world for you, beloved.’

‘Believe me when I say I want every part of you. Every version. Now and future.’

‘Look, beloved. Your skin is a canvas covered in stars.’

‘If I were you, I would begin by thanking her and throw yourself on her continued mercy. Because you’ll get none from me.’

‘What would be the point of immortality without you?’

‘No magic. Like an everyday mortal.’

‘Insult her again, and I will carve my refusal into your flesh, so that you may never forget it.’

‘I don’t care what your title is. Every breath, every beat of my heart belongs to you. You are mine for life.’

‘Thank you… for sharing the sky with me.’

‘If you lay a single hand on her, there will be nothing left of this place but a hole in the ground.’

‘Let us live in this moment long enough that I may love you the way you deserve.’

‘I will let nothing separate us… I shall always find you. Your heart calls to mine in a language beyond words.’

‘For you I would set worlds aflame, tear the sun and moon from the sky. I did not live before I met you.’

‘Perhaps you are the most courageous of all, for choosing to live among us. A mortal among gods.’

‘Welcome home, beloved.’

‘You helped me find peace in my grief. I will always help you find peace in yours.’

‘You sacrifice too much for me, beloved.’

‘I cannot give you my heart. It already belongs to someone else.’

‘There will always be tasks vying for our attention. But you are more important to me than any of them.’

‘I like being in here. I always want you to have the freedom of a place to call your own… and it means everything, that you welcome me in.’

(And finally, BONUS: Quotes from *other* characters in The Cursed Heart that straight-up sound like Shakespearean poetry, because the writers of this book just do. not. rest.)

‘I know you. I’m not afraid.’

‘I love him so terribly, it hurts.’

‘You are so much stronger than you know. And a love as strong as this is worth fighting for.’

‘Even if you kill me, I’m glad I met you. Because you deserve to be happy. You deserve to be loved. And I will love you until my very last breath.’

‘The world is rarely gentle to those who are so kind. It is you who must be the strongest of all.’

‘What do you want with that cursed thing?’ / ‘To cut the Sun and the Moon from the sky.’

‘Anything here that wishes to eat me had best prepare to choke.’

‘I know you. And I love you. Both your darkness and your light.’

‘You are everything I want. Just you. Just like this.’

‘If love could forestall death, we would all be immortal.’

‘All stories end. Even ours. That’s what makes them beautiful.’

‘I don’t care where I sleep, so long as it’s beside you.’

[hotdaemondtargaryen]

TOM GLYNN-CARNEY PHOTOGRAPHED BY JEMIMA MARRIOTT FOR NÚMERO NETHERLANDS MAGAZINE.

WHAT IS IN STORE FOR YOUR CHARACTER THIS SEASON?

"We see Aegon in every form. He is powerful then vulnerable, calculated then frantic, playful then desperate, desperately seeking validation and respect from his council and the people of Westeros."

"He is a cacophony of chaos, laced with deeply embedded trauma. He is unpredictable and dangerously explosive."

HOW EXCITING WAS IT GETTING CAST ON A SERIES THAT IS A PREQUEL TO THE IMMENSELY POPULAR 'GAME OF THRONES'?

"Still doesn’t feel real, but I am enjoying every second of it and I’m dedicating myself entirely to the work."

"Aegon is exhausting to play and definitely takes a piece of me, but I am happy to give him that in exchange for this freedom and creative fulfilment."

HOW DID YOU ALL COLLECTIVELY AND YOU PERSONALLY DEAL WITH THIS?

"I don’t think about that."

"You can’t, otherwise you wouldn’t turn up to work."

"Turn up, put the wig on and let rip."

HAVE YOU UNDERGONE ANY SPECIAL PREPARATIONS FOR THE ROLE OF AEGON?

"Sleep is important."

"He takes a lot from me, so sleep is key."

WHAT EXCITES YOU ABOUT PERFORMING ON STAGE THE MOST?

"The danger of it. The raw and electric energy. The fact that it is different every night and the way it keeps you as an actor sharp and precise."

"I couldn’t be an actor without doing theatre."

"It’s where I go back to, to find inspiration and courage."

IS THERE ANY PARTICULAR MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE THAT INSPIRED YOU TO BECOME AN ACTOR?

"Being curious, being fascinated by human behaviour, obsessing over body language, social interactions, coping mechanisms, idiosyncrasies that stem from insecurities."

"Trying to be a sponge to everything I see and hear."

"Collecting as many things as I can and bringing these to life in an authentic, truthful way."

"An old teacher of mine, Richard Goodwin Brown, was a huge influence on me."

LOOKING BACK ON YOUR CAREER SO FAR, WHAT DO YOU PERSONALLY CONSIDER YOUR BIGGEST ACCOMPLISHMENT? AND LOOKING FORWARD, WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER YOUR BIGGEST GOAL FOR THE FUTURE?

"Getting this far is my greatest achievement."

"My biggest goal is to be old, on my death bed and look back at my career with pride, in the knowledge that I did my best work, worked with some great people and made some lifelong friends on the way."

TELL US MORE ABOUT YOURSELF. WHO IS TOM OFF THE SCREEN AND WHAT DOES HE ENJOY MOST IN LIFE WHEN HE IS NOT ACTING?

"I love my dog, Ziggy. I love music, art and poetry. I love animals. I love and need wide open spaces, peace, quiet and water."

"I love a night in a dark pub, round a table with trad musicians, fiddle, guitar, tin whistle, bodhran, whiskeys and pints of guinness, singing Ireland’s songs until the early hours."

[say-al0e]

Dark Cloud

rating: pg

Summary: If anyone understands the pain of losing someone you've already mourned, it's Jake. (AKA my dad passed a little over a month ago and it’s been difficult to understand my emotions so I’m doing what I do best and write about it) Warnings: Death of a parent, bad relationship with parents, abusive parent, self-deprecation, general anxiety, grief, feelings, etc. (Anything else and I’ll tag it.) Pairing: Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x GN!Reader (Pretty sure GN but if you catch anything, let me know and I’ll change it to the correct pairing) Word Count: 3.8k Top Gun Taglist | Top Gun Masterlist

Jake Seresin was not known for his silence.

At any given moment, he could be counted on to produce a witty quip or sarcastic comment. He was known for having a big ego and an even bigger mouth. To those who knew him - those who loved him - it was a mild annoyance. To those who didn’t, it was infuriating.

Despite his reputation, however, there were moments of relative quiet in the life you shared with Jake.

There were moments of quiet reflection, often in the days before or after a deployment, where he ruminated on what he’d done with his life - the things he’d accomplished and grew prouder of with each passing day, the things he had yet to achieve but knew were within his reach, the future he’d built with you.

There were moments of bliss, comfortable stretches of time where no words were needed as you allowed yourselves to disappear into your own little world. Those moments were few and far between as you were rarely left alone long enough, but you savored every chance you had to enjoy the life you’d built together.

There were moments of discontent, seconds that felt like hours passing in an uncomfortable lull that only amplified the insecurities or worries or sorrows either of you felt. Those moments dragged on, heavy and bitter in an otherwise beautiful existence, but were luckily few and far between.

Some of the moments of quiet you shared stretched on endlessly and you were grateful. The moments of quiet bliss and peaceful contentment were moments you wouldn’t trade for anything. Others grew less intense with time but you were still grateful for them as they encouraged growth.

But as you sat in a deckchair almost as old as you in a backyard you’d spent a different lifetime in, one of those moments you hoped would disappear just as quickly as it began enveloped you.

This moment was not one driven by Jake. The silence was not his choice - not something prompted by a reflection on his own mortality or the future he often worried he was jeopardizing by following his dreams. There was no bliss, no pride, no happiness, no worry for himself. This moment was one he held entirely for you.

Three days had been spent in a heavy hush, a silence that pressed on your chest and left Jake quieter than you’d ever seen him. He’d been rendered speechless after a short midnight phone call from your mother and chose his words carefully in the days leading up to the moment you found yourself desperate to run from. The silence was tentative, as if he knew one wrong word would snip the fraying thread you found yourself clinging to, and you hated it.

Though you’d often asked him to be quiet - almost always teasingly - and though his presence brought you comfort, his silence only made the overwhelming noise of your thoughts that much harder to withstand.

Despite finding yourself surrounded by family, the vast majority knew little about you. Jake, however, knew you well. He knew that you’d spent those three days struggling to understand - to rationalize, to compartmentalize - feelings that were complicated at best. He knew when you needed guiding, when you needed him to ask questions to help catalogue what you felt. He knew when you needed him to distract you, offering you stories from his last deployment to pull you away from the heaviness at hand.

But, most important of all, he knew when you needed space.

The moment that enveloped you, the quiet he’d given you in the three days since receiving that phone call, was meant to be comforting. It was meant to be the space you needed - space to decompress, space to be uncertain, space to be overwhelmed, and you appreciated the thought behind it. You were grateful he wasn’t pushing, grateful he hadn’t joined your mother or other well-meaning friends and family members in asking how you were doing, but you’d grown tired of the quiet as the still of the backyard surrounded you.

Orange light from the setting sun lit the world aflame and burned nearly as warm as the flurry of emotion churning in the pit of your stomach. It was difficult to catalogue what exactly you felt - mentally, physically; everything blurred into one overwhelming ache that you felt deep in your bones - and you weren’t quite sure how to articulate that.

Very little about the few days you’d experienced made sense, least of all your emotions, but you knew that if anyone could string together meaning from your rambling stream of consciousness, it would be Jake.

With a sigh, you slumped deeper into your chair and blinked back the sting of tears threatening to fall.

Every single person you’d interacted with for the better part of three days began every conversation with a barrage of questions; how are you? How are you feeling? What can I do? They all declared how tough it must be, some even claimed to understand exactly what you were feeling. It must be so hard, they cooed, before promising they were there if you needed them.

It was all superficial, at best, but you took the question as a base to begin a conversation you’d been dreading.

“I’m fine, Jake.” There was little chance he didn’t notice the quiver in your voice, even less of a chance he didn’t notice the clench of your jaw and the heavy exhale you released, but he nodded, just the same.

“I believe you.”

Jake knew that you weren’t fine - not really, not entirely - but he also knew that what you were feeling was more complicated than grief.

Losing a parent was always going to be a difficult experience but losing a parent you’d gone no contact with for reasons beyond your control only further complicated matters. There was no easy explanation for the multitude of emotions clouding your brain and Jake understood that.

Jake lost his own father in his twenties. Though he’d still been on speaking terms with his father upon his death, if only barely, their relationship had always been difficult. His father was cold, controlling and domineering, so Jake understood complicated relationships with fathers just as he understood how difficult it was to grieve someone long before they died.

Everything you felt, every complicated emotion and messy blur of feelings, you knew he would understand. It was likely he’d felt them himself. Regardless, it still felt nearly impossible to articulate as you blinked against the sun’s harsh glow.

Few others had seen the toll your mother’s misguided attempts at encouraging a reconciliation between you and your father had taken. It was well-intentioned, you were sure, but ended in an anxiety you hadn’t felt since your teenager years.

From the safety of your shared home, Jake had witnessed a handful of tense phone conversations. He’d listened as your father threw insults thinly disguised as questions or compliments and belittled you in ways that made his blood boil. He’d watched as you slumped on the couch and gave one word answers as you willed those awful conversations to be over. He’d held you after as angry tears tracked down your cheeks and you wondered just what you’d done to deserve this kind of treatment from someone who was supposed to love you.

It made sense, then, why he’d remained so quiet at your side. And instead of pressing for an answer, asking questions that would only make the entire process that much harder for you, he waited. He sat quietly, green eyes flickering between you and the trees in the distance as he waited for you to gather your thoughts.

“None of this is for me.”

The declaration felt bitter, dripping acid as it fell from your lips, but it was honest in a way you couldn’t be with anyone else. No one else understood, no one else saw you - really, truly, completely saw you - in the way that Jake did. Though you felt overwhelmed, anxious and upset, you felt hopeful that he’d get it as he hummed.

“How do you figure?”

“Funerals are… hard,” your settled on, blinking hard against the tears you were frustrated still managed to sting at your eyes. “They’re supposed to be for people you love, people that meant something to you. They’re supposed to give you closure. It’s a final send-off, something that just… marks the end, I guess. You mourn someone that meant something to you but all he was to me was a nightmare.” With a deep breath, heavy and barely enough to fill your aching lungs, you shook your head. “I didn’t lose my dad on Sunday. I lost him when I was old enough to realize what kind of person he was.”

Anger, burning hot and all encompassing, made it easier for you to finally feel the emotions you’d been attempting to rationalize away. And Jake, who had been waiting calmly for the storm, sighed.

There was little doubt that Jake was also feeling a multitude of emotions neither of you felt capable of exploring in the moment but that did little to stop him from reaching out to take your hand in his own. The weight of it, the heat of his palm pressed to yours, tethered you to the moment. A gentle squeeze helped you remain present as you swallowed the emotion clumping in your throat.

“Everyone here things I’m the problem,” you began, quiet but angry. “They think I just up and abandoned my dad. They think I’m a bad person because I haven’t had a relationship with him in over a decade but no one bothers to ask why. No one asks what happened to make me leave home and refuse to come back. No one asks why I went nearly fifteen years without speaking to him. No one puts any of the blame on him. They just ask why I didn’t try harder.”

The still of the night stretched endlessly around you but Jake’s attention fell solely on you. Those green eyes burned into your skin, patient, as you took a shuddering breath.

“Why was it my responsibility?” The question, a broken plea for an answer you knew Jake couldn’t give as he’d wondered the same thing, lingered unanswered for a brief moment before you huffed. “I’m the child here. He was the adult, he was my dad. He was supposed to care, to make me a priority, to love me. Instead, he made me believe I was worthless. He told me that no one would ever love me, that I was too difficult for anyone to ever waste their time on me. He was a miserable, abusive, narcissistic son of a bitch but no one ever acknowledges any of that.”

Breathing grew more difficult with every word you spoke. The weight of every emotion you’d ever felt in relation to your father pressed on your chest, leaving a dull ache between your ribs as you took a moment to clench your jaw and regain some semblance of your composure.

Jake knew all of that.

The beginning of your relationship had proven difficult because of your shared difficult pasts. Both of you had been wary of commitment - Jake because of his own insecurities, his own doubt that he’d never be worthy of anything more than a one night stand - but you’d managed to take everything in stride. Just as you’d encouraged him to know his worth, he’d been instrumental in helping you to find your own.

There was a flicker of hurt in his eyes as he realized just how difficult the experience was proving to be, just how easy it was for you to revert to an old way of thinking. It seemed that no matter how hard you tried, no matter how much progress you’d made, you felt yourself spiraling as you scrubbed at your cheeks.

“Everyone says he talked about how proud he was of me. He told them all that I lived in California and had a good life but he didn’t know anything about me. He had no idea what I do for work. He didn’t know your name, didn’t even know we were married. He didn’t know anything about me but he had everyone convinced that I was the problem. And I just…” With a weary sigh, feeling the weight of the world pressing on your shoulders, you laughed. “It’s not fair. Why did he get to have friends and so many people to defend him? Why did he get to spend so much time being happy, not caring, loving his friends when I spent years wondering if anyone would ever be able to love me?”

Jake squeezed your hand gently and you could feel the weight of that single gesture. It meant more than he likely realized, warmed you from within, and you desperately wanted to look at him but you knew that sparing him a glance would only end with you dissolving into tears. You were on a roll, speaking the thoughts you knew made little sense to anyone else but had been plaguing you since you received that phone call, and stopping didn’t seem like an option.

“Sometimes I wonder if all of this was my fault.” The admission was quiet, your voice dropping to a near whisper and thick with emotion as you laughed quietly - self-deprecatingly. “I remember being so happy when I was little. I remember him taking me places, going out to dinner and seeing movies and going to the roller rink. I remember him coming to my softball games and my spelling bees. I remember feeling loved.”

With a shake of your head, you tugged at a fraying thread at the hem of your top. “I remember all of that, but then I also remember being ten and wondering if everyone else had a dad who yelled at them. I wondered if everyone else had a dad who would disappear for days when he was angry. I wondered if everyone else had a dad who would throw things at them and make them cry. I don’t… I know if I just got older and he got meaner or if I just gained consciousness and realized he was always mean.”

Faint sounds of life began to bleed into the backyard - the noise of your mother and step-father and various family members who’d dropped by with food and well-wishes milling about - but you ignored them all as you inhaled a shaking breath.

With a single glance spared at the silhouette of your mother, you laughed quietly. “My mom doesn’t remember it but we had an argument when I was, like, fourteen. I don’t remember what it was about but I remember her being so angry at me and saying that I was more and more like my dad every day. I didn’t cry much but I remember breaking down. Nothing anyone has ever said to me has hurt that bad. I think about her saying that all the time and I try so hard to prove that it’s not true but it feels like no matter what I do, no matter how hard I work to be a good person, I keep seeing more and more of my dad in myself.”

With another harsh breath, this one a desperate attempt to clear your throat of the emotion threatening to choke you, you wiped harshly at the tears that had started falling. Somewhere in the midst of your inner turmoil, there was an anger that you allowed yourself to cry. None of this was worth your anger, your upset, your energy, but it felt impossible to do anything more than continue spouting a stream of consciousness you only hoped Jake could still follow.

“While you were deployed, I went to the bar with some friends after a bad day. I wasn’t really in the mood but I ended up having fun,” you admitted, shrugging lightly as you dropped your gaze to where your intertwined hands rested on your thigh. “At the end of the night, though, it was just me and Blake on the patio and we were talking about all the stupid shit that was happening at work. I made a joke about trying to be more positive and he laughed. He said it was no use because I’ve always been a ‘dark fucking cloud’ and that was just who I was. It was a joke,” you conceded, lifting your hand to trace a nonsensical pattern across the back of Jake’s hand. “But it really wasn’t. He’s right. I’ve always been a dark cloud and I’ve always been miserable and bitter and angry.”

A quiet laugh, devoid of any humor and clearly as defeated as you felt, escaped as you shook your head. “All the words parts of me, all the things I wish I could change, all the things I know that make it difficult for people to like - let alone love me - are all parts of my dad. And I just wonder, what happens if I can’t fix those parts? What happens if I spend the rest of my life as this dark cloud? What happens if one day, all my friends realize how miserable I make them? What happens if, one day, you realize that you could do better? You can be a jackass but you’re a good man, Jake. You could easily find someone who loves you that’s bright and happy and warm. I worry that I’m going to die alone, miserable and forgotten, just because I’m me; a dark fucking cloud that pushed everyone away.”

Jake allowed the silence to linger for a moment, giving you a chance to catch your breath. When he realized you were finished speaking, he reached out to carefully brush away the tears tracking down your cheeks. From the corner of your eye, you caught the look on his face - a deep sadness you’d never seen from him before, complete with shiny eyes and a frown - and felt a fresh wave of tears stinging at your eyes.

Though you tried blinking them away, Jake shook his head.

“Sweetheart.” He slid his chair a touch closer, his knee knocking into yours as he lifted his free hand to your cheek. “I don’t say this often, but you’re wrong. I don’t know what to say that will make all of this better but I can tell you what I do know.” With gentle fingers, he tilted your head to meet his eyes and, despite the urge to glance away, you held his gaze.

“You are not a dark cloud.” His conviction was clear, certain and strong as he searched your face. “You know that everyone was surprised when you showed up to the Hard Deck. They couldn’t believe that someone as good as you, someone as bright as you, could love me. I can be an ass, but you? Even when you don’t want to, you try to see the best in people. It doesn’t matter how bad your day is, doesn’t matter how rough things are, you’re always trying to encourage the people in your life. I can’t count how many times you’ve told me your day was shit only for you to turn around and spend the night hyping up Bob, cheering up Phoenix, singing with Rooster, making Coyote laugh.

You’re the most supportive person I’ve ever met. Anyone who asks you to show up for them, you’re there and cheering the loudest. You push people to be the best versions of themselves. When I’m in my head, you’re the person to bring me back. Despite everything, you’re a good person. You try so hard and everyone can see it. I’m difficult to like, but you? There’s nothing difficult about liking you and there sure as hell isn’t anything difficult about loving you. You love me, you make me happy, and I’m lucky I get the chance to love you.”

With another gentle squeeze to your hand, Jake sighed. “None of this is your fault. You were a kid, sweetheart,” he reminded you, careful to avoid irritating your skin further as he brushed away the few tears that continued to fall. “I know all of this is hard. I know you loved him when you were a kid and I know there’s still some kind of love there. I know it still hurts, even though he hasn’t been in your life. And I know that none of this makes any sense. I can’t tell you not to worry about any of this but I can promise you that I’ll remind you every chance I get of just who you are. I’ll be here to remind you just how loved you are. You are a good person, sweetheart, and I love you. On the good days, on the bad days, on every other day in between; I love you and I’m not the only one. You mean so much to so many people and we’re lucky to have you in our lives.”

As the tears fell faster, Jake stood from his seat and tugged you up after him. He pulled you into an embrace, arms wrapped tightly around your body, and pressed a soft kiss to the crown of your head. He allowed you to squeeze him tight, body pressed close to his, and waited patiently for you to calm.

“I love you,” he whispered, voice carrying through the night when your breathing began to even. “You know I’m not just saying this for the sake of saying it. I’m not that nice.”

When you laughed quietly, Jake smiled. “Thank you.” With another soft squeeze to his middle, you sighed. “I love you, too, Jake.”

“Alright, what d’you want to eat?” Jake shifted then, tipped his head to look you in the face, as he redirected the conversation. He knew there was an apology coming - one neither of you needed - so he stopped it before you could. “You haven’t eaten anything all day. And if you tell me you’re not hungry, I’m calling Rooster and letting him sing as many songs as he can,” he teased, waiting to see if his joke would earn him a smile.

“You decide,” you offered, smiling lightly as you nodded. “I don’t want to make any decisions. I’ll have whatever you get.”

“Okay,” he relented, appeased by the easy agreement as he wrapped an arm around your waist and began guiding you back to the house. “C’mon, we’ll get you some water and figure it out.”

The pair of you knew the pain of this loss better than anyone. There was no easy resolution, no easy answer for the messy feelings you still felt roiling in the pit of your stomach - no solution for the feelings this dredged up in Jake - but you felt a little more at peace.

The path now placed in front of you was in no way straightforward, not one you’d be able to navigate easily, but you felt hopeful that there would be a rainbow shining bright through the dark clouds, just as long as Jake was by your side.

_____________________________________________________

Author's Note: I dunno, man. It's been a rough two months.

Taglist: @lulu-noodles, @holachicos, @getmyprettynameoutofyourmouth, @withakindheartx, @ssprayberrythings, @verin93, @totalwitch2, @malindacath, @alexparkxr, @hangmandruigandmav, @alexxavicry, @calicokel, @jaymum, @dracosluvbot, @little-wiseone, @specialk6802, @mandylove1000, @julesclues, @archetypesoflife, @oliviah-25, @benhardysdrumstick, @caatheeriinee07, @yvespoems, @chloereidwayne, @flower-name​, @callsignharper​, @peoniarose​, @hangmanscoming​, @rh3tt​, @dakotakazansky​, @silversprings-mp3​

[lilacmingi]

THE INVITE

My works are 14+ ONLY. If you’re under 14 DO NOT interact with me or any of my works. Ageless blogs and blank blogs risk getting blocked

Pairing: Vampire!Jin x human!fem reader

Word count: 2,105

Note: This imagine is from my Wattpad so there won’t be any extra parts or continuations

A letter sat idly on your coffee table untouched as you stared it down, debating on wether to open it or not. You knew exactly who it was from. A brief glance at the fancy designs embellishing the envelope was enough to tell you exactly who the sender was.

Kim Seokjin.

You lived in a society where vampire and humans coexisted, living together in peace (for the most part). Seokjin was one of the most well-known vampires in town. Everyone knew who he was or at the very least had heard his name.

You were almost afraid to see what was inside the envelope, but at the same time, your curiosity was gnawing at you. You had never received a letter from Seokjin before. Sure, there had been times where you saw him out and about, sometimes you would say hello or give him a small nod. The most interaction you'd ever him was the occasional friendly exchange and a brief conversation if you were lucky.

Though you would have liked to have an actual conversation with him besides small talk, the circumstances were never ideal and also he was really intimidating. Not intimidating in a scary way, but in a way that he was so good-looking, and maybe that was a vampire thing, but his visuals were otherworldly and often made it difficult for you to carry on a proper conversation.

Before you could chicken out, you reached out and snatched the letter from the table, examining it. The envelope was sealed with a red, wax emblem meaning whatever was inside must've been extremely important. Ever so slowly, you broke the seal and pulled out a neatly-folded piece of card stock. Upon unfolding the paper, you found a letter written in the most stunning penmanship.

Miss Y/n,

I would like to cordially invite you to a prestigious ball at my house tonight at 10:00 PM. Dress code is formal and it is preferred that you wear dark colors. I hope to see you there.

- Kim Seokjin

You clamped your hand over your mouth to stop yourself from gasping. This wasn't a letter, it was an invitation—a handwritten one at that. The invite was daunting, especially considering it was sent to you of all people. The idea of being invited to Seokjin's lofty home for a prestigious party had your insides riddled with jitters. The two of you had only spoken a handful of times which had you wondering why he had invited you.

"I don't even have a dress." You murmured as you folded the letter up and tucked it back into the envelope.

With nothing to wear to the event that was to take place in just a few hours, you headed out to the nearest formalwear shop to find the perfect gown. After roughly forty-five minutes of browsing the array of garments, you settled on a form-fitting carmine dress with a silk cape attached to the back. The style of gown was fitting for an event hosted by a vampire and it fit the dark color scheme specified in the invite.

You returned home shortly after making your purchase, hanging the dress on the back of your bedroom door before heading to the shower to begin preparations for the evening.

10:00 PM rolled around much quicker than you expected, assumably because you were so focused on getting ready that you hardly glanced at the clock.

Now here you were stood before the mirror in your room, smoothing out the red dress that flattered your figure well. The heels you had on were a pair buried in your closet, which you hadn't worn in a couple years. You were happy that they were finally getting some use.

Adorning your neck was a luxurious diamond necklace and a set of matching earrings that were a gift you purchased for yourself one year for Christmas. Your hair was styled perfectly and your choice of makeup was something that matched well with the dress.

Grabbing your small purse, you stepped outside and prepared to head to your car when you spotted a sleek, black vehicle parked outside. Just as you were ready to turn around and run back inside, the window rolled down revealing a man you didn't recognize sitting in the driver's seat.

"Miss Y/n?" He asked.

"Yes. That's me." You responded hesitantly.

"Seokjin requested that I pick you up."

"He did?"

"Yes ma'am. He wanted to make sure you got to the party safely."

"Oh. Okay."

The driver stepped out and opened the door to the vehicle, making sure you got inside safely before closing it.

Seokjin hired a driver to bring you to the party?

Nerves stirred within you, twisting your insides like a pretzel and making your hands clammy. Not even the homes and buildings passing by could distract you. And how could you relax while sitting in the back of a nice, expensive car heading towards a very prestigious party? Deep down, you knew you didn't belong at such an event, but Seokjin invited you. As much as you were dreading it, there was no way you would've been able to miss the party.

"We're here." The driver announced, bringing your focus back to the present.

Just outside the window was a lofty two story house all lit up on the inside, letting you know the gathering was already in full swing.

The vehicle came to a rolling stop in front of Seokjin's home and the driver got out to open the door for you. You murmured a small thank you as you stepped out of the car and began to make your way up the stone pathway to the front door.

Someone standing at the entrance opened the door for you to which you acknowledged him with a small nod and entered the house.

Discomfort washed over you the instant you stepped into the room, taking notice of the many pairs of eyes that were glued to you. Right away you could tell that you were more than likely the only human there, feeling like you were surrounded by hungry sharks. It's not that you were scared of vampires, you were just intimidated by so many of them being around you at once.

Keeping your head down, you made your way through the crowd in hopes to find a secluded corner to stand in for the duration of the event.

Regret gnawed at you and suddenly you wished you never decided to show up in the first place.

This was a terrible idea.

You turned to go back where you came, but the crowd was so packed you didn't even want to try and make your way back through.

Much to your relief, you spotted a door that led to a private balcony; the perfect place to get some fresh air. You hastened through the crowd and squeezed past some people as discreetly as you could, trying to get to the door.

On the way to make your hasty escape, you bumped right into someone's chest, nearly knocking you off your feet.

"Woah. Are you okay?"

Lifting your gaze, you found that you had bumped into none other than Seokjin.

"Oh! I'm so sorry. I didn't realize you were there." You apologized.

"I asked if you were okay." He chuckled, ignoring your response.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Sorry for bumping into you."

"It's okay. This place is packed anyway. There's not much room to move about." He smiled softly. "Where are you running off to? You just got here."

"If I'm being honest, I'm a bit uncomfortable."

"Don't tell me it's because you're surrounded by vampires."

"Well..." You trailed off.

"You're safe, especially if you're with me."

Even though you didn't exactly feel safe, you nodded.

"Seems you wanted to go outside. We can go together if you'd like." He offered.

"I'd like that."

Some alone time with Seokjin would give you the chance to have an actual conversation with him.

He slid his hand into yours and guided you through the crowd, pulling you outside to the small balcony overlooking his well-maintained front lawn.

"You look exquisite tonight, Y/n. This dress is gorgeous."

Biting back a coy grin, you smoothed out the carmine fabric of your gown. "Thank you."

"I'm really glad you showed up."

"You are?"

"Of course. You sound surprised."

"I am. Truthfully, I was shocked to receive an invite in the first place. I don't belong here amongst all these vampires. I'm just some human. There's nothing special or extraordinary about me."

"There is." He stepped closer.

"How do you know? We've only met a handful of times."

Seokjin averted your gaze like he was nervous to answer.

"I've been... watching you."

"You what?"

"I'm sorry." He shook his head. "That came out wrong. I haven't been watching you per se. When I see you out, I can't help but stare. I find myself entranced and my eyes follow you until you're out of sight. It's creepy, I know, but you're just so breathtaking I can't seem to tear my eyes away."

Entranced. Breathtaking.

These words replayed in your head, making your heart race and you were sure he could hear it.

"Seokjin—"

"Jin." He corrected. "Call me Jin."

"Jin. Did you really mean that?"

"Every word." His hand lifted to brush your hair out of your face, quietly admiring the way the moonlight highlighted your features.

As if being pulled by an invisible force, he started to lean in closer. All the while, you stood completely still, anticipating the feeling of his soft-looking lips pressing to yours. Though you were reeling from his confession, you were still able to prepare for what was about to happen.

Jin's pink lips were mere centimeters from yours when he inhaled deeply, pulling back just enough for you to take notice.

"What's wrong?" You questioned.

He shook his head, not wanting to tell you.

"You can tell me." You gently urged.

"You smell really good."

Your brows raised.

"Sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"No, no. I understand. If you want to—"

"No. I can't. I don't usually drink human blood. I try to stay away from it."

"Jin, I don't mind. Really."

He met your gaze, searching your features for any signs of uncertainty. "Are you sure?"

A single nod from you confirmed.

He leaned in and kissed your lips sweetly, a single and light gesture to test the waters. Though you were caught off guard by the sudden affectionate display, you weren't opposed to it in the slightest. In fact, you wished he would place his lips upon yours one more time.

When Jin noticed the way you leaned into him, he pressed his lips to yours once more, this time for a little longer. A faint smooch sound could be heard as he parted ways, his lips ghosting along your jawline before slowly trailing down to your neck. He placed a soft kiss to the area he decided to feed from which made you suppress a shiver.

His arms slid around your waist and coaxed you closer to him, keeping you securely in his hold. The sharp sting of his fangs sinking into your skin followed a few brief seconds later. You released an involuntary gasp and clutched onto the collar of Jin's suit jacket.

In an attempt to comfort you, he began to rub your back in a slow and soothing manner, the gesture helping to relax you a bit. Needing something to focus on, your eyes shifted to the city in the distance, marveling at the pretty lights dotting the nighttime scenery.

Just as the pain started to ebb away, Jin withdrew his fangs and pulled back.

"Are you okay?" It was the first question he uttered, his red eyes slowly fading back to their natural brown.

You nodded.

"Hang on a second. Stay still."

He leaned in again and you felt him lick a stripe up your neck, causing you to shiver at the sensation.

"What did you do?"

"I healed your neck so it won't get sore and you won't have to worry about covering an ugly bite mark."

"Oh. Thank you."

"No. Thank you. You didn't have to do that, but it was a nice treat." He winked, setting your cheeks aflame.

Jin chuckled when you turned away to hide your flustered expression.

"After tonight, I'd like to see you again. I want to take you out somewhere nice where we can really get to know each other. If that's alright with you, of course."

"I would love that."

Jungkook ♱ Jimin ♱ Yoongi ♱ Taehyung ♱ Namjoon ♱ Hoseok

Masterlist ᝰ — enjoyed this imagine? reblogs & comments are very much appreciated!

DO NOT steal, plagiarize, copy, repost, alter, or translate my works in any way

🏷 @h3arteyes4mingi @weird-bookworm @poppy2007 @parkjennykim @evidive @mxlly143 @lizzymizzy-blogg @minhanbyeol @dinossaurz @laylasbunbunny @iammeandmeisiam @delulu18 @hyunjin-amore

[belit0]

Madara and Indra tag-teaming the reader? Indra gets called back from the afterlife and takes offense that Madara is almost as good as he is. I love your writing! I binge read it all this afternoon! I'm so happy you write Indra, he's perfect!

Thank you very much for your words! Indra is absolutely my favorite, there is no one who can get to me like him!

I love that you like my work, and feel free to send as many requests as you want! Welcome to this beautiful corner of Uchiha perdition!

This was actually hard to picture, but bc I can't imagine both of them together lol.

I don't think both their egos would fit in the same room🤣.

Anyhow, sorry for taking so long to reply, but here we go!

Why would anyone call him from death, from eternal rest, to bring him to a present where his name is only a legend? Indra does not know, but such is the scene he encounters when opening his eyes for the first time in millions of years.

In his original body, but in his 24-year-old guise, the Otsutsuki awakens in the midst of a ritual. There is blood on his feet, a strange pattern drawn in peculiar intersections that don't seem to make sense, and four men he doesn't recognize looking at him expectantly.

His world spins as he tries to acknowledge the space, and understand he has been summoned to the world of the living again. "Very good... you did it, Tobirama. Now put him back where he came from." A man with long, black, prominent hair speaks with his arms crossed, looking at him with eyes he identifies as his own.

"Of course not. I just brought the most important piece of history we could get, adding I don't know how to release him either." Another jabbers angrily, with strange white hair and red marks on his skin.

"You brought my fucking grandfather and you have no fucking idea how to let him die again?!" A third man shouts in despair, very similar to the first guy, but smaller.

"He's not our grandfather, Izuna. He's our ancestor."

"We should bring our grandfather too, Tobi! It can be a great family reunion and-"

"Why would anyone rouse me from everlasting slumber without apparent reason... I'll get an immediate explanation right away, or else things will get bad." The Otsutsuki decides to interrupt the interaction impatiently, holding his head between both hands and trying to focus his gaze without his eyes hurting. He has no balance to get up from the ground, sitting up and trying to regain control of his body.

...

4 months have passed since Indra was forcibly brought back to life, and all he wants is to die again. People became progressively more stupid, having as idyllic proof this supposed descendant of his who goes by the name of Izuna. The young man keeps pestering him with uncomfortable questions about a life that no longer is, and the Otsutsuki does not know how to get rid of him.

The man who dared to bring him back, Tobirama, still can't find a way to reverse his jutsu, and works tirelessly every day to give him eternal rest again. Meanwhile, Indra decided to confine himself inside the current leader's house, and learn a bit of the current world through him.

Madara Uchiha, his supposed reincarnation, recounts an era of peace where his clan and his brother's became friends. The sole purpose of creating the Uchiha was an endless war against Ashura's family, and apparently, they had figured it out.

Outraged and dismayed, Indra constantly compares his power to that of the current leader and understands they opted for peace because power levels decreased over time. The only thing he and Madara have in common is the darkness of their thoughts, the shape of their hair, and their taste in women.

The Uchiha has a wife alarmingly similar to his own, both in attitude and appearance, and he ponders whether reincarnations are possible. (Y/N), he learns her name is, is both charming and submissive, perfect to his preference.

When the leader disappears for the day to attend to his work, Indra has convenient access to the woman and enjoys her quiet company. There is nothing like an obedient, non-fighting wife, and after seeing today's world, the Otsutsuki understands there isn't much of that anymore.

(Y/N) treats him like a king, attends to his every need, and genuinely respects him. Nothing gets his dick harder than a woman who knows her place.

Madara seems to notice his attraction to her, and after consulting with his wife, they decide to give him a gift of satisfaction before dying again. A night of passion, discreetly catalyzed and planned to perfection.

...

Indra walks through the corridors of the Uchiha house, trying to find a quiet place to meditate. His mind is a mess, he is tired, and all he wants is perpetual repose again. Overwhelmed by his situation, he wanders aimlessly, seeking release somehow.

He decides to try the first room he finds, and as he slides open the door, he comes across an image both provocative and scandalous. (Y/N) shamelessly touching herself while sucking Madara's cock. The Uchiha smirks, grabbing her roughly by the hair and pressing her against his pelvis, forcing her to swallow him completely as she masturbates.

Kneeling with her ass in the air, he has a perfect view of her wet pussy, and how her fingers slide in and out with need. "She looks like she needs help, doesn't she, Indra-Sama?" Madara asks sardonically, leading her to follow an overwhelming pace with her mouth.

"What is this... what are you implying-"

"A little parting gift. Tobirama figured out the formula, and you'll be going home tonight. One last indulgence is impossible to deny, isn't it?"

The Otsutsuki genuinely considers it, relieved for the torture to end and feeling a bulge growing between his pants. There's no denying the sight is beautiful, and that (Y/N) looks both inviting and predisposed to be fucked by whomever she's commanded.

He's never had a threesome, but as long as the Uchiha leader won't touch him, he'll have no problem abusing that beautiful cunt and claiming it as his own.

In a burst of arousal, he walks over to the bed, and with no words to say, makes quick work of his clothes. If the woman is anything like his wife used to be, she will accept being violently and angrily fucked, used as Indra sees fit and without complaining about it.

Positioning himself behind her, he penetrates her with a dry thrust, burying himself deep inside her and listening to her moan being muffled by the other man's cock. "Shit, (Y/N), no teeth, or there will be consequences."

A dark satisfaction runs through his mind at the thought of getting to punish her, to destroy her as he wishes, and his thrusts become brutal to the point of trying to make her lose control of her mouth. The woman cannot continue to move her head, and Madara grabs her by the hair to direct her to the pace he thinks necessary.

Both of them use her holes as they wish, taking her with abandon and making her scream all the way through. Indra will soon return home, and plans to take a good fucking before then.

[malleusarcanum]

⚠️: Field Trip

Ashton : These muscles are impatient, I'll blast this bus off if you don't hurry up!

Crowley: You can't fly if you don't spread your wings enough.

Ashton:....

Sam: My friends of the other side translated what this raven want to squawk. You can't rush things.

Ashton: I know that, not only my muscles are active, also my healthy brain.

Trein: Tardiness is unacceptable or if you want our campsite be positioned by others.

Lucius: Meowwwwww!!!!

*Crowley ignored the cat. When he's done with lifting his 5 suitcases he went to his seat beside crewel*

Crewel: You have to be fashionable most of the time, those suitcases can be exempted but that type of clothing *raised an eyebrow*. Atleast these puppies knows that.

Mc: Is he referring to us?

Epel: Looks like it, but I can't wait to arive already. Even my sleep never visited me last night. *Yawned*

Mc: You can sleep at my shoulder.

Epel: I don't think I need....*yawn* maybe a.... Little.....*fallen asleep*

Vil: I want also a beauty sleep beside a majestic flower *sparkled his eyes*

Mc:.....

Mc: Then open that window and throw yourself out, I'm sure there's a flower planted there.

Vil: *sulked*

Mc*sighed heavily*: fine, Take a nap then *pointed at it's shoulder*

Vil: Can't I sleep somewhere softer?

Mc: *annoyed* *flicked Vil's nose*

Vil: Ah?!

Mc: Shh-

Epel: *rubbed his eyes* Am I seeing things? Vil looks like a red nosed reindeer?

Vil: Good News baby potato, you're not

------------while others------------

Lilia: Do any of you left something?

Silver & Sebek: *thinked* Meh nothing

Silver: Why old ma-

Sebek: shoot?!!!!!!

*the bus shakes after sudden drift*

*teachers turned their heads to Sebek*

Crewel: what was that?!

Ashton: Give me 10 pushups!

Crowley: I'm afraid push ups are not allowed here...

Ashton: hmp

Trein: Explanation must be provided after that life threatening situation.

Lucius: meaw!

Grim: I hate this pussy cat *whispered*

Ace: I'm glad you despise yourself

Ortho: *behind them tapped an audio meme at his tablet* Nani?!

Grim: Funyahhhh?!!!!

Idia: *scrolling yuutube shorts, played a song accidentally*

so pack up, go home, you're through 🎶

How can I make a man out of you? 🎶

Grim: They're really testing my patience!! Nyarhghhh! *Can't attack, Deuce hugged him*

Sebek: Apologies, I somehow forgot something.

Crowley: is it important?

Sebek: Without it I'll never have a peaceful mind and despair may conquer through those dark nights.

Ruggie: nightlight?

Kalim: happiness?

Jack: courage?

Jamil: Revenge?

Crewel: puppy?

Silver: *realized something* don't tell me you really left it?

Sebek: *nodded*

Lilia: No! Not the crocodile plushie

Everyone:.....

*Back seats*

Floyd: One hundred and five

*one car passed*

Jade: *another vehicle passed* One hundred and six

Azul: can't you be quiet?!

Floyd & Jade: Boringggggggg

Jade: Oh! Look! That one looks like Azul. *Pointed at a billboard promoting takuyaki*

Floyd & Azul: Where?!

*Azul then looked sharply at jade*

Floyd: Check this out! He exactly looks like Sea Slug

Azul: *arranged it's glasses* precisely.

Jade: Is he trying to catch this bus

*Azul, Jade & Floyd smirked*

*watching "MALLEUS" running desperately*

Cater: I wanna take it a picture!*lifted his phone steadily*

Sebek: Who dares imitate young master? *Stood up joining at the back seat*

Trey: Even the details of Malleus's face is captured, well portrayed.

Rook: Roi du Dragon! you must see this fascinating being

Riddle: Sit down! We're still in a bus! *Stopped after sensing himself that wants to puke, face turned green*

Leona: I haven't felt Lizard's presence.

*Mc got curious also looked*

Mc: shut the motherf**ker?!

*Everyone turned to find Malleus's seat*

Crowley: STOP THE BUS!!!!!!!!!!!

[slowandsteddie]

Stargazing

I wrote a little something.

There is very minimal actual stargazing, btw.

The one where Steve makes it to a ripe old age, and Eddie comes back to help him say goodbye.

CW: Steve dies. He’s very old and it’s very peaceful, if that’s any consolation.

605 words.

“Come with me,” Eddie says while offering Steve his hand.

Steve looks up at him and takes his hand. It’s harder than he remembers it ever being to get up, but it’s okay. Eddie came back for him. He looks just as beautiful as he did back in 1986.

Better even.

“Where are we going?” He asks.

Each step gets easier and he can barely even remember what it is like to struggle to move. To breathe. He’s just so happy to have his boyfriend back, even if it is only a dream. Eddie is dead. Steve is old. He knows that. But he feels fifty years younger and the air that he breathes is holding his hand again.

Warm.

Whole.

Complete.

Happy.

“To the roof. We’re stargazing.”

Steve makes a sound that has Eddie turning around to look at him. He can get lost in those beautiful doe eyes. He never wants to look away.

“I can see the constellations in your eyes.”

“You’re being sappy again, Big Boy.” Eddie tries to complain, but a blush is coloring his pale features as a smile tugs at those ever-chapped lips.

“You love it, Pretty Boy,” he says back with all of the love and adoration that he couldn’t express all these years. It makes his voice crack. “I’ve missed you.”

Eddie cups his face with his free hand and Steve lets his face lean into it heavily as tears gather in his eyes. “You never have to miss me again, my love. I swear it.”

“We made him pay, you know.”

“Shh. Don’t worry about that now.”

He’s not sure who instigates, but suddenly their foreheads are pressed together and their breath is mixing together warmly between them. Steve lets the tears fall and a few seconds later, he’s laughing because Eddie is licking his cheek.

“You’re disgusting.”

“You love it.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

Steve must lose some time, that has been happening a lot lately. The next thing he knows, he’s lying on top of the trailer that he knows was destroyed in the earthquake. There’s some confusion, but it’s easy to let go when he feels Eddie running his fingers through his hair.

He looks up at the sky and smiles. “It’s beautiful.”

“You’re beautiful.”

Steve turns his head to look into those beautiful, dark eyes again. He’s soaking in everything that he can see. This is the most clear that he has been able to get the love of his life’s face in decades and he doesn’t want to lose it again when he wakes up.

Eddie sits up, propping himself up on one elbow while letting the other go to Steve’s face. Beautiful white wings spread out behind him and suddenly, he knows exactly what’s happening.

He’s dying. He’s home alone and he’s dying. He knows that he should be scared, but he isn’t. Death did choose the right face to come collect him, after all.

“My found family? They’ll all be okay?”

“Robin will take it hardest, but even she will be okay. I promise.”

“She’s supposed to come over tomorrow. She’ll find me?”

“Yes.”

Steve takes a breath and lets it out slowly. There is nothing he can do about that. But, he does have one more very important question. “And… the real Eddie?”

“He’s waiting for his hero to come back to him.”

“I’d hate to keep him waiting any longer.”

“Then don’t.” There’s that mischievous smile that makes Steve’s heart flutter. “You’ve seen enough shows. You know what you need to do.”

Steve leans in and presses their lips together. Everything fades away, and it’s peaceful.

[meowzilla93]

Happy Birthday to the Silliest of Monochrome Men <3

@minthe-drawings thank you for hosting such a lovely event for him! i cannot wait to see the rest of the months submissions for him, mine included!

August wakes to the late morning sun, pouring through slightly parted curtains, and hitting her in the face. Blinking against the bright rays, she mumbled a curse, before pulling the quilt up close to her face, turning in the bed to look away from the windows. As she moved, a presence around her waist had tightened and she found herself being pulled, being pressed against a warm body.

Hands pressed against a chest, August tilts her head up to see the peaceful, at rest face of the man that holds her heart. The light she cursed out just earlier was now lighting up Baxter’s face, and as always, it took her breath away at how beautiful he was. Even more so when he was at his most relaxed, where his perfected persona wasn’t on show, and he was simply just ‘Baxter’.

He was still asleep, and was just as, if not more averse than August, about waking up in the mornings. They seemed to take turns in waking up to the other still asleep, a pattern she noticed in the few times they have been able to spend the nights together. Living on the other-side of the continent to each other made things hard to be able to see one another regularly, but the moments they managed to steal away for themselves were all the more sweeter for it.

It was August’s turn to visit Baxter, and this time she had managed to secure just over a week with him; Her work did allow August to be able to work remotely if the cards landed right, though this time was no end of trouble to try and organize it. Though, that wasn’t something she was going to tell him.

What made this trip all the more important, was that it would be the first birthday August would spend with Baxter, and she wanted to make sure he got to properly enjoy it. No stress, no work, no expectations. Surrounded by the people he loved, and those who loved him back; His own stitched together family.

As she gazed at her lover, who glowed in the radiance of the sun, she couldn’t help but caress his cheek, the smooth skin warm under her palm. At her gentle ministrations, Baxter started to stir, grip on her tightening as his dark amber eyes slowly blink open. Though this lasted for barely a moment before Baxter tucked his face into the hollow of Augusts neck, hiding from the rays of the sun.

Letting out a small chuckle, August wraps her arms around Baxter, holding him close as he nuzzled into his hiding spot, lips just barely brushing the soft of her exposed skin. After a moment, August felt a rumbling at her shoulder, but couldn’t make out what it was, before realizing that Baxter was talking.

Carding her fingers through his hair, she couldn’t help but be endeared by his hopelessness in the mornings.

“Love, my shoulder doesn’t have any ears.”

There was a momentary pause before she felt his lips kiss her neck, warming her, before pulling back, though still hiding from the sun,

“Hmm, I was asking why you are up so early…”

“You only think its early cause you are still asleep. I have a feeling its past the hours you shun.”

Baxter grumbles at that,

“Feel like I could spend the day here, I’ve been run- “a quick pause as Baxter yawned into his pillow before continuing like nothing happened, “-run ragged at work recently.”

The hand that was previously carding through his hair now slowly massaged the back of Baxter’s neck, eliciting a small moan from him as she found the tense muscles that didn’t release even after a night’s rest.

“Well, it is your birthday after all. I do have a few plans set up, but if you want to spend the whole day in bed, I’ll find a way to make it happen.”

At this, Baxter seemingly was able to finally wake, as he pulls back, though not releasing his hold from August, to be able to look down at her properly. He had a surprised look on his face, like he was questioning what he was hearing,

“My birthday?”

Cocking an eyebrow at him, August tried to figure out the reason for his bewilderment before coming up empty handed.

“Yeah, your birthday. 19th May, yeah? That would be today. The day after the 18th?”

Brows furrowing at her cheekiness, Baxter proposed another question,

“Yes but… I’m sorry. I think I’m questioning why you brought it up.”

“You think?”

August couldn’t help the incredulous look appear on her face as Baxter continued to look at her questioning, though there seemed to be a slight blush appearing on the tips of his ears and cheeks. His mouth opened and closed a few times, unable to find the words he wanted to say. Bopping his nose with a finger, August tries not to laugh at his inability to speak,

"Cat got your tongue? Baxter, its your birthday; The best excuse to celebrate you, and you can't get out if it. I don't make the rules."

Blinking at August, Baxter seemed a lost for words before a gentle smile brightens his face, eyes tender as he takes August in, before that seemed too much. Instead he found himself looking over her shoulder instead, fingers playing with a section of her hair.

“It seems like a fox got my tongue instead. I… did not expect you to remember, as silly as that sounds. I haven’t really celebrated my birthday these past few years and admittedly, it slipped my mind.”

August would be lying if she said she was surprised at that confession. For so long, Baxter hid himself away from everyone, not letting people in that, of course, the one day that should be about celebrating him would come and go without a thought. However, this was not something she would allow to continue, not for as long as she was around.

Leaning in to bop her nose against Baxter’s,

“Guess that won’t be happening anymore, love. All the big celebrations, and small ones. I won’t let them pass you by anymore. Officially starting today.”

Pressing a quick kiss to his lips, August pulls back, only to push Baxter onto his back, and straddle him. Looking down at him, August couldn’t help but be proud of the surprised blush that now covered Baxter’s face. It was always a novelty to put Baxter on the back foot and take control of the dance they step to.

“Baxter, you mean everything to me. That means that everything that allows me to celebrate you, or with you, become key dates in our lives to spend together; Being happy, content, and hopeful for a bright future that we are always making our way to. Hand in hand.”

She leans down closer to him, hand cupping his cheek again, giving him her most winning and mischievous smile. One she knows he adores,

“And if that means I get to spoil you every so often like today, you best believe I’m going to take advantage of that.”

Dark amber eyes search her mismatch green gold ones, the look of slight embarrassment of his earlier confession making way to hope and love. Hands that had settled on her thighs make their way to her waist, and slowly up August’s back, causing her to lean in further, being almost nose to nose with her sweet lover once again.

“What did I ever do to deserve you darling?”

 Pressing a kiss to his nose August sweetly replies,

“You were yourself. My sweet, darling, monochrome man. You were simply, yourself.”

Wrapping his arms around her back, Baxter finally pulled August flush to him, relishing in the weight of her body pressed against his, and the warmth of her love flowing through him. Chuckling lightly, August adjusts herself to lie more comfortably on him, leaving little kisses on his jaw and cheeks, wherever she could reach at the time. Baxter simply hummed at her tenderness and enjoyed the spoilt treatment he was receiving before he spoke up again,

“Well then darling. I think I might just find a few ways I want to spend my birthday with you.”

“Oh, is that right? Do any of them involve this bed?”

Unable to suppress a snort at that comment, Baxter instead cleared his throat as it escaped him,

“Perhaps a few. Though I think first, I would very much like to start it by staying just like this for a few moments longer.”

“Whatever you want Baxter. This day is yours. All you have to do is let me spoil you. I do have a few plans, but you say the word and I'll cancel them all. I have a whole week to spoil you, those plans can happen later.”

Nuzzling into August’s shoulder, he softly replied,

“As long as I am with you darling. That’s all I truly ask of this day.”

“I am yours Baxter. Always, and forever. Happy Birthday”

[dranna]

Be Careful what you Wish for - a Wish rewrite

~ Prologue ~

Chapter 1

summary:

King Magnifico created his kingdom to protect his people because he knows what tragedies one single wish can cause, however when one entitled 17-year-old girl decided that the way he is dealing with the population's wishes is 'unacceptable', he must step in to protect the inhabitants of his kingdom, even if it means he has to use the book, he swore to never touch again...

Who is the villain and who is the hero?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ contents: noting clear yet but there will be graphic descriptions of violence and death later on, Asha is the villain of the story, there is NO goat. I’ll add the warnings at the beginning of every chapter <3

a/n: I started writing during sleepless nights. I didn't watch the whole movie bc I didn't find it enjoyable from the start, so there will be a lot of things from my imagination. I would say I stopped watching it around the 30 minutes mark ^^’

I've never written anything longer then a one shot, so it will be an interesting journey for me. Thank you for stopping by and reading it:)

- English is not my first language -

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once upon a time, there was a young and passionate man, serving a rotted and jealous king. The king had everything he wanted: immense wealth where gold grew like grass everywhere he stepped, a huge kingdom where peace bloomed in every corner, loyal men, women, happy children but  the most important of all: Power. 

However he wanted more . 

Since he walked on this earth, he had everything his heart wished for. So now, as he was sitting on his icy gold throne made by busy hands for a spoiled child, he commended the youthful man to create something for him. An object that will turn into something terrible, evil and full of hate, masked with the promise of unlimited knowledge. 

“Magnifico” - he once called the hopeful lad - “ you are the greatest apprentice I could ask for, loyal to my crown and your homeland..” - the king started his poisonous honey speech, whispering harmless sounding lies into his ear.  Besides being young and full of hope, Magnifico was also a naive and trusting soul. He listened to his king’s lies, never doubting the intent behind his tongue.  “ I have a great wish I need you to fulfill. I want you to design a book, which contains all knowledge of sorcery. A book! If someone reads from it, they magically become the most powerful in the world!” 

What wrong can one wish do?  Hung the question above the sorcerer's head, as he excited the throne room. 

Magnifico was so excited to create this book. He imagined true things being done with his creation: helping people? Putting a stop to the gut wrenching illnesses of humanity? Stopping wars , and — oh! Spawn food out of thin air?  In his mind the possibilities were endless.  However, never in his wildest nightmares could he think about the events which were born from his work. 

His loving wife warned him many times, asked, weeped and begged to not do something so terrific yet marvelous for a man like the king, but Magnifico didn’t listen. It was the first of his lists of mistakes, which will burden him until the rest of his life.

  He worked all day and all night, warm ideas filling his brain and heart, not letting him sleep during nights. A productive fire ate through his muscles and bones, illuminating the twinkling of his azure- blue eyes. 

After months of hard work, he presented the book to the king. 

Upon opening the elegant cover, cosy, silver light-strokes were omitted from the beautifully crafted pages. They gently covered the book opener, always willing to be changed, used and shared. 

To Magnifico’s horror, as months went by, his pure creation started to transform into something vile, painful and barbaric under the hands of his once beloved king. The silver light slowly darkened and lost its welcoming glow, just to make place to dark green, seaweed and tentacle-like forms. They snaked around the sorcerer who opened the earthly cell, bounding and chaining him in both physique and soul, never letting him go. 

The book consumed the king more and more, and with him wasted away his kingdom and its inhabitants. 

Magnifico couldn’t bear to see his creation causing more devastation, he stole the book from the half-dead king leaving him and his wealth to rot. 

With the knowledge he learned about magic and wishes, he created a kingdom with his wife on his side. Promising himself, that he never let any wish to destroy the happiness of his people.  And the book? He locked it deep in his castle, displaying it in his study room as a trophy of shame and deep regret, laughing and creeping its freezing fingers in blood, which he will never be able to wash clean. 

[captainkurosolaire]

To Restore ~ Semi-Update

Delving deep into waters. First-off I've got to say it feel's good to get back, it's only within these confines, do I really feel alive.

Although I haven't been able to properly hoist and send my flower's to the wonder's the beauties surrounding this platform, or praise before the unbelievable atmosphere's that have continuously cultivated these gardens you irreplaceable gems have done. My admiration and eye's even in silence are always belonging of you. You're my gravitational pull. My life hit a twilight period, apologies for the hiatus, my candle lost a severe amount of its passionate heat. Yet this is where it'll burn and flicker most intensely near the end. With my remaining, I'm attempt to manifest a roar; a battle cry of inspiration & motivation, perhaps set ablaze everything contagiously, causing an absolute wildfire. Future predictably is all but here. Artificial rising up, while there's benefits to it. There's also plentiful are harm. People losing their hope, they're overwhelmed unable to maintain belief nothing they do anymore matters and it's destroying making many fade. Artificial Intelligence for those who create, is our arch-nemesis while many will falter because no-matter-what the path of least resistance will always be appealing. There's purpose in your life, your one-of-kind sublime individualism. In millions of years. No intelligence, artificial, constructed nor any future life-form. Can ever match me. Cause I've found a secret. We believe magic isn't a thing, that was only through fantasy. But we've had it the entire time. In our core resides, infinity. Just nothing that could be felt without nurturing our Emotional Intelligence. Long ago maybe seen as horribly weak, a flaw, even to have... It's become foreign, nothing remotely taught or furthered. I believe, that's where we went wrong and our unexplained missing key-piece we couldn't seem to find. Our emotion's let us push beyond matter itself, we've witnessed weight's being lifted and achieved, diseases overcame, not thought possible all because of mindsets alone. Our world all came from scriptures, lettering's, all the essence of writing and creating being foundation. We've all stories only we can tell, what darkness we underwent, the light that elevates us from fond memories, the pain, it's all something worth capturing in your ways. To share, express, live that spreads more powerfully and may unlock inner-discovery. As it does a chain-reaction happens. More passion is drawn from our depth's to an unidentifiable amount. Energy we cannot see, is given to another through our senses, empowering them in moment's, surely sought after in their most need. Nothing in any life-time, that'll ever be as important as you to value yourself. Putting yourself out there may be the hardest hurdle, the most difficult obstacle known, but I assure you, leaving your footprints, will come to benefit future tourist. I'm on a forever-quest, chasing to be all of me. Despite I may be the greatest self-sabotage and enemy of my own design, at time's prohibit myself from ever having happiness. Downtrodden by thick rain on unforgiving days. Stuck on the past shade, my shortcomings. Being broken, someone hurt by others, and who surely hurt others as a result by never being consistently what I should be. It's difficult to break the sickness, the gymnastics, and hurdles of living it can feel. Remember... there's light. We know it exists and majority it's a matter of finding that right one for us. Where we can rest and know our heavenly peace. I critically was sick and encountered a near death once... but I know, now that even was necessary, for me to really open my eyes and appreciate life. In Ugliness, or Beauty. Weak or Strong. I'll be and take both, all as a single entity. For those who may find anything, I hope. If anything we'll be able to soar and fight alongside another and become friends even if mutual without exchanges, let's continue building clouds together. When my star-collapses, I desire you to encompass the night-skies, with a brilliance, illumination unparalleled. Then perhaps my soul will return and we can repeat, in our almighty infinity.

For now, appreciate you hearties. I'll get back to my lane, until the next invasion, merely!

[creatinghelen]

happy world mental health day, loves. I'm gonna free write and try not to edit myself - so here goes

I started this blog (berecovered) when I was really not doing well. I was living in a different country to all my friends and family, alone and isolated. I was falling back into behaviours I thought I was long over. it was a really hard time - so much so that I rarely think about it now because it doesn't feel good. I had probably the worst day of my life at that time. I realised a lot of bad things that had happened to me. but as I did several years prior, I realised there's one person who can get me out of these situations: me. but in the words of my best friend, "be brave, but remember you don't have to do it alone". and I didn't do it alone. I went to therapy (again), and most importantly - I think - I started this blog. it began as a safe space for me to consume positivity and recovery content in the place that started my issues in the first place, which was radical, and kind of scary. my mum was so worried when she heard I was on tumblr again - for good reason, because prior to me changing my url and deleting my posts I had fallen down the same rabbit hole as many years ago. but this time was - and continues to be - different. what was just for me to begin with has grown into something bigger, a little positive corner on an internet that can be so dark sometimes. there have been times where I've not felt like keeping this blog up, but I've done it because of the messages I get telling me how much it's helped, and that's what's kept me going all these years - only a few times where this blog had gone silent. then a couple of years ago I turned another corner - when I realised this blog is mine, and I can share my voice, not just reblog others'. that was really pivotal and I think has contributed into where I am now - creatinghelen. whilst my content is much less eating disorder recovery and depression recovery focused, I think this will always be a part of my blog. I think it's so important to nourish all sides of you, and all of your experiences, so that you can continue to grow. and now I'm growing into more than just this. the foundations are stronger and I'm finding my voice in many more ways, sharing my art with people and letting the creativity seep into my life. but most importantly, I'm living. however up and down and messy it can be, it's my life and I'm so grateful for it. at a number of points in my life I never thought I would make it here. I didn't think I could spend a day home alone without restricting. I didn't think I would make it to this age. I never thought I'd be where I am, with what I've achieved and the peace I feel. but I'm here. and so are you. and I'm so grateful that you and me - moving through the intricacies of life - can share this positive corner of the internet together. I love you.

[plottingalong]

Lesbians in Space Masterpost:

Happy Valentines! My favourite genre by far is one I like to call Lesbians In Space. This is the pinnacle of all human creation in my opinion. The only rules of Lesbians in Space is that there MUST be actual, real sapphics (at least one), and that space has to be somewhat incorporated. That's it. If you have more examples of this PLEASE tell me.

*there's also a list of honorable mentions for things that fit the vibe in my opinion but aren't as explicitly Lesbians In Space.

Books/Novellas

The Locked Tomb series (arguably THE lesbians in space series) by Tamsyn Muir. If you're on Tumblr you've probably heard of these but the first book is a murder mystery in a creepy space mansion.

The Teixcalaan series (A Memory Called Empire and A Desolation Called Peace) by Arkady Martine. A poetry-obsessed ambassador from a space station subject to the whims of the Teixcalaan empire needs to unravel a plot and figure out wtf her predecessor was up to, while being assisted by a government agent.

The Serpent Gates Duology (The Unspoken Name and The Thousand Eyes) by AK Larkwood. Csorwe, an orc who was raised as a sacrifice to a god, is rescued by a shady sorcerer and pulled into his plot regarding world dominantion, abd then falls hard for a math nerd.

An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon (with a non-binary/trans/gnc and sapphic mc). This book is a lot heavier in terms of trauma than the other things on this list, esp regarding slavery+neurodiversity+transphobia so yeah maybe check a list of CW but it's good!

The Necessity of Stars by E. Catherine Tobler (novella). Former UN diplomat deals with memory loss and aliens. Technically not as space-y as the rest of this list.

This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone (novella). Two spies on two sides of a time-and-space war test each other's wits.

Light From Uncommon Stars by Ryka Aoki (trans girl MC, side characters that are lesbians, technically it's not ALL in space but it's pretty dang space-y.) Evil lady teaches a young violinist in order to collect her soul, hijinks ensue.

Podcasts:

The Strange Case of Starship Iris. A doctor accidentally joins a group of space smugglers while uncovering a government conspiracy. Also has a trans guy and two nb characters.

The Pasithea Powder. After a war between two planets, two old friends, one an honoured war hero and the other a disgraced scientist, are pulled back together due to a government plot.

TV shows:

She-Ra (for kids). You know what this show is about. Cadet of the evil forces who's good at everything turns out to be the chosen one that fights for good against her former bestie.

Doctor Who s10- the Doctor's companion falls in love with a puddle that's a girl.

Honorary mentions:

Winter's Orbit- romance sci-fi, gay arranged marriage in space.

The Murderbot Diaries - series of novellas. queer side characters aside, Murderbot isn't human but definitely has an interesting concept of romance and gender that I find pretty dang queer.

The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula Le Guin. The blueprint!!!! Local male ambassador (deragatory) goes to covertly visit a very cold planet where people are sex-less most of the time (and very interesting genders). The discussion of gender is fascinating in my opinion.

Wolf 359 (podcast). Pissed off crew of a wreck of a ship do their best to survive space and each other. (there's a canonical gay character but also Isabel Lovelace is a lesbian in my heart)

Among the Stars and Bones (podcast) a group of xenopaleantologists go dig up an ancient alien site. there's an important nonbinary main character.

[alyszaen]

~ "phonecall" - seungmin x chichi ~

embedding in time: maxident era word count: 1.2k words summary: seungmin and chichi get an important phonecall, and where did chan go? warnings: angst, some fluff disclaimer: Chichi is an O/C invented by @chiskz who gave me explicit permission to create and post this.

Do not repost or translate my work. Reblog or comment if you liked it. Let me know what you enjoyed.

Everbody had gathered around the living area. Felix was pacing, Seungmin, Jeongin and Hyunjin were trying to comfort the distraught Chichi, Jisung tried to distract Changbin, who was standing in the corner of the room and Minho was trying to calm everyone down.

"He'll be back soon. Stop worrying.", Minhos words were ignored. "What if he got hurt? He's been gone so long. Or what if something else happened. The only reason he's out there is because of what I told him. Oh my god what do we do?" Felix was clearly not going to calm down anytime soon, his hands shaking.

Earlier that day the younger australian had noticed how unhappy Chichi was, seeing her crying in her room, her face buried in her hands and her knees pulled to her chest. The only reason why he noticed in the first place, was because her door wasn't fully closed, allowing him to peek inside. He was torn, but ended up walking up to her to give her a chance to explain what was going on. It was obvious that she needed comfort. Do you know that feeling, when you are already on the verge of everything spilling out and then someone asks you what is wrong? Well, that is exactly what happened. The oldest member broke down and told Felix about all of her worries and fears. Her heart was broken, clearly. She wanted to hug Changbin and tell him how she felt, but the fake relationship she had to keep up with Seungmin made that impossible. It would only complicate things within the group and she really did not want to risk that.

It's not like she didn't get along with the young man. They took their dating situation as a chance to finally bond and learned quite a bit about eachother. He was the first person she told about her feelings for the dark rapper, hoping he would be supportive and help the young woman through it. And he was. Whenever staff tried to find a way for SeungChi shippers to get some content, Seungmin did his best to get Ichi close to Changbin. YouTube ended up filled with tons of compilations like "Seungmin being the biggest ChangChi supporter". A lot of Stays were happy for SeungChi, while others were distraught at the situation. Ichi got a lot of hate since the reveal that they were dating - most of them calling her a Cheater whenever she was seen hanging out with Changbin.

Overall Seungmin honestly became a very close friend to her. They watched some dramas together and just enjoyed eachothers calm. When the other boys would want to have a conversation whenever they hung out, these two were able to just be in one anothers company without having to share many words. There was always some sort of peace that came with sharing a space with Seungmin. And as much as all of the boys tried to understand the stress she was under, nobody could sympathize with her as well as the young singer, because he was in the same situation.

Felix knew he had to tell Chris about how he saw her cry. They couldn't keep this act up. Ichi and Seungmin were originally okay with the plan, even joking about it, but it has gotten bad enough to make her cry, so he felt like he was left with no choice. He went up to his fellow Australian and told him straight up. He explained about what Chichi had told him and it only took the leader one glance into her room through the still parted door to confirm his plan. Chan didn't say a word to anyone when he grabbed his jacket and keys and stormed out of the dorms.

And that's how they ended up in this spot. Everyone worried for his safety and unsure about where he went and what he was doing. He wasn't answering their calls and it was late in the day, so the sun had already set. Seoul wasn't the most safe city. Felix told Chichi that he informed Chan about what they talked about - leaving out that she shared her feelings for one of the rappers - that was something she needed to talk about in her own time. Knowing this didn't stop her from feeling anxious, though.

Considering that the entire drama involved her fake boyfriend, she told Seungmin about her little emotional outburst a few hours ago, too.

Everyone else only knew that he left without saying a word, no idea of the possible reason for his spontaneous trip.

"I'm sure he's fine! He's probably just grabbing-", the maknae was interruped by the sound of the front door closing. The man of the hour just walked in as if he wasn't gone for two hours without letting anybody know why or where he went.

Everyone huddled around him, asking him if he was okay and where he ran off to, but Chris ignored all of them. He turned to the couple, "Do you have your phones?" Both Seungmin and Ichi nodded. "Good.", the leader gave everyone a small smile and left to go to his bedroom, locking the door behind him and successfully leaving his eight dumbfounded members behind.

There was no chance for anyone to voice their shock, because almost immediately after their leader disappeared they heard a phone ring. The music playing indicated that it was Seungmins device. He picked it up, responding to the end of the line with a few approving sounds. After thanking whoever had called him he hung up again, smiling at the oldest. The call lasted mere seconds.

Everyones confusion increased when Chichis phone also started playing her ringtone. Hyunjin yelled, "Put it on speaker!", so she did what was asked, courious about the reason for the call, herself. "Good evening, miss. After a long discussion about the future of Stray Kids with your leader, we have decided to announce the end of your relationship with Seungmin. An article is in the works as we speak and will be publicated tomorrow morning."

Everything was quiet. Chichi barely noticed when Jeongin grabbed her phone out of her hand and thanked their manager, hanging up the call for her. Changbin, who was still standing further away from the group stared at the girl, his eyes blown wide.

The now broken up fake couple turned towards eachother. As soon as their eyes met, big grins could be found on their faces.

Chichi giggled, "I'm sorry, boyfriend, but I think it's best if we break up." "Shut up, old woman!", Seungmin responded almost instantly.

Everyone broke out into giggles. Even Chan, who left his room to join the others a few minutes ago to see the scene unfolding, joined in. The only person that still hadn't reacted in any way was Changbin. A little shiver visibly ran through his body, as if to physically shake off the shock, and he finally walked to her. His strong arms found their way around her back, his body pressed into hers. The rapper rested his head between her shoulder and neck and gave her a strong squeeze. "Binnie, I can't breathe.", Ichi smiled, but he couldn't see that. He pulled her into him even tighter, feeling like a weight fell from his chest. His eyes were glossy, so he closed them.

"I don't care. I need this."

Taglist: @longingpurity, @hyujinnie1, @sensitiveandhungry, @minvho, @skz-jisoo, @minnie-kittie, @zoe8stay, @l3visbby, @bbyquokka Feel free to let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist!

[obsidiancreates]

As My Friend Has Stood By Me, So Shall I (Part 15)

The Treachery of the Trusted (And the Waning Trust of the Treacherous)

Rivendell is quiet and peaceful in a way Bilbo has never known. Even The Shire, with its rolling green hills and soft earth and weather-worn little trees, is not so peaceful as it is here. The Shire has more laughter, more shouting, more mischief- all good things, of course. A mischievous child is a happy and healthy child, and shouting can be of revelry just as much as frustration, and laughter- what worth would life be without laughter?

  The dwarves stay together, in as few areas as possible. Bilbo though, he wanders. He wanders into the libraries, the kitchens, every hall he finds. He’s never had so much to explore in such peace.

He wanders into one room- unlike any others. A statue sits, holding its arms out and around a stone slab as though presenting it. Shards of a sword sit on the slab, and across from it, a mural.

Bilbo stands in front of the mural, trying to piece together what it may be about. A battle, obviously- a great and terrible one. Three figures take up the focus of the mural. A dead man, a living man, and… something else. Perhaps a man. But Bilbo doesn’t think so. Something about the figure, the image… he feels, deep within, that it’s something he’s never even heard of before, or at least heard very little of.

His eyes are drawn up, to the raised hand of the dark figure as it grasps a terrible weapon. Among the gray and black and grim colors of its side of the painting, something… shines.

His lips part as he stares at it. A simple, golden ring, standing out starkly and luring in the most attention. Again, something stirs in him. He has a feeling, somehow, that that ring is important.

He intended to ask about the mural, he truly does. But then Elrond offers for him to stay in Rivendell if he so wishes, and then he (and by chance, Thorin) overhear Gandalf and Elrond arguing, and then The Company is taking their leave.

The moment with the mural fades from his memory before he ever leaves Rivendell, and by the time he’s in the mountains he hardly remembers it.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There’s a knock at the door, and Bilbo groans and covers his ears with his pillow. It’d taken him ages to fall asleep last night, and then he’d had a dream that frightened him- though he can’t recall why. He’d woken with his hand under his pillow, gripping His Luck tightly, and fallen back to sleep soon after.

“We’ve got eggs and bacon for breakfast today, Bilbo,” Bofur calls through the door.

“And Kili and I thought we might take you to the markets again!” Fili shouts. “We saw someone selling cakes like the ones you had at home!

Home. Where a Hobbit might get some much-needed quiet rest after prodding and poking by nosy dwarves. 

“They mean well,” he mumbles to himself with a yawn. “Let’s just go back to sleep.”

And then he abruptly sits straight up, releasing his hold on The Ring. Bacon and eggs! What’s he doing, thinking of turning that down?

“Alright, alright, I’m on my way out!” he shouts back. “Give me a moment, please!”

“We’ll wait for you in the private dining hall!” Fili’s voice fades as he shouts it, his pounding footsteps telling Bilbo that today is an ‘armored and ready for anything’ day. 

He quickly slips his own mithril under his shirt, and then looks at his bed, the pillow- The Ring.

“Can’t eat if we take it with us,” he mutters. “Right, ahem! I’ll be back soon enough.”

He’s not sure who he’s saying that for.

As he walks down the hall, his fingers twitch and tense around where his pockets should be. They wag and wave about his midsection, coming up and then jerking back down. It’s an awful habit. It makes him feel restless. Uneasy. On guard. Even when The Ring is there his hands flutter to and rip away, or delve down and clutch it, roll it, feel for any flaw and find nothing over and over and over again-

He doesn’t realize how quick his breathing has gotten until Oin steps out of the dining hall with Gloin behind him.

“Ya see, brother? Wheezing like those dogs we saw in Laketown!”

“Le’ me look at ya, laddie,” Oin says, moving closer. Bilbo almost jerks away, almost hisses that he’s had enough of Oin’s care, thank you!

But the venom dies as quickly as it rose. Bilbo just blinks, and nods quickly and stiffly.

Oin gives his chest a quick listen, and has Bilbo breathe in and out deeply, before nodding. “Alright, yer fine.”

“Yes, I just had a um- a bit of a panic, back there.” Bilbo gestures half-heartedly behind him. “Thought I saw something, but ah… it’s fine.”

“Seein’ things, lad?” Gloin eyes Bilbo with concern. “Not the first to see things that don’t be there after a war.”

“Or just a bad night’s sleep.” Bilbo nods at the dining room entrance, and they all go in. They take their seats, and the last one left is to Thorin’s right hand. Bilbo takes the seat with a quick twitch of a smile at Thorin, who returns it, and breakfast begins.

For a while, no-one speaks, which is… unusual. They just tuck in. Bilbo gets to a second helping of eggs before he breaks the silence.

“Something’s obviously not right here,” he says with a grunt and a clearing of his throat, “I have a feeling it’s me, so let’s just get it over with.”

There’s an outcry of protests around the table- which Bilbo rolls his eyes at and silences with a shout of “EXCUSE ME!” that the version of himself who’s never left The Shire would’ve begged for.

“I like to think we’ve all been through enough together to not be awkward anymore,” he says pointedly, voice a little low and rough with impatience, “So out with it.”

It’s the ring, the luck, they want your luck-

“Well,” Bofur says, tapping his mittened hands together and drawing his mouth. “Well, out with it it is. You’re skinnier.”

“S-skinnier?” Bilbo is taken aback.

A look passes around the table, something… well, something Bilbo’s not quite sure of. Silent agreement, maybe.

“Aye, skinner,” Bofur continues. “That shirt ou’a be tight on you, Bilbo.”

“We’re worried about your diet,” Ori jumps in, standing up and sending his chair scraping backwards. “We know you’re supposed to be fatter than this.”

“How-how is that your business?” Bilbo huffs a laugh. “I’m eating just fine, thank you! It takes more than a few weeks of decent meals to regain the weight I lost!”

“Have you regained any?” Dwalin asks with a raised brow.

“Of course I have.” Though… not really. “And if that’s all that’s making you lot so terrified to talk to me, I’ll just have a few more plates today. Happy?”

“We’re only trying to look out for you,” Kili says, casting another strange glance around the table. “We don’t want to lose you after all we went through.”

Bilbo breathes out from his nose, long and deep, closing his eyes. When he opens them again they focus on his plate, not Kili, and for a moment his lips stay slightly parted without a single word passing.

And then he looks up. “You won’t lose me,” he assures, looking around to every dwarf he’s proud to call ‘friend’ and ‘family’. “You won’t, any of you. I’m just adjusting to something new.”

“All the same-” Thorin says, finally speaking up and finally looking at Bilbo with a readable expression, one of fondness and… firmness. Bilbo narrows his eyes at Thorin. That looks means something unpleasant is about to be said. “-I think we’d all feel more comfortable if we continued to eat as a Company. Together.”

“For every meal?” Bilbo scoffs. “Thorin, by the time we’ve got a steady supply of food coming in I’ll be having about seven meals a day plus snacks.”

“We’ll do our best to keep up, then,” Balin says with a quick smile.

“You don’t have to keep up! I’m a perfectly capable hobbit on my own! What next, I can’t do outside with a guard?”

Silence. Bilbo looks up at Thorin with fire in his eyes. “Don’t you dare.”

“You nearly drowned-”

“I can promise you, I won’t be doing it again. My time is my own! Now I don’t mind sharing it, especially not with all of you, but it’s still mine!”

“Only when you go to the ramparts… or near water.” 

Fili clears his throat and says something in Khuzdul.

“And the treasury,” Thorin adds with a thankful nod.

Dwalin clears his throat next.

“And the hidden door.”

“The hidden door?” Bilbo stares at Thorin, and then around the table, with his mouth hanging open in a bitter smirk. “So anywhere there aren’t hundreds of dwarves around?”

“More or less,” Bofur says, earning a sharp elbowing from Dori to his left. “Ow!”

“Unbelivable.” Bilbo pushes his own chair away from the table now. He grabs a bit of bread for the road- or rather hallway, and stalks out.

The Company sit a moment longer in silence, Thorin sighing and putting one hand to his forehead.

“Very tactful, Bofur,” Fili grumbles.

“At least I made that good excuse at the start,” Bofur tries to defend.

“Excuse?” Bombur cleans up Bilbo’s plate, a great pain in his eyes. “He barely touched his secon’ plate. I am worried about his ea’in’.”

“We all are.” Thorin still feels the shocking thiness of Bilbo in his arms, the vast amount of weight coming from the waterlogged clothing. “But Fili is right. You were tactless.”

“He wouldn’ ‘ave taken it well however we did it,” Dwalin growls. “I don’ feel right about restrictin’ his freedoms, Thorin.”

“It’s jus’ until we figure out wha’s wrong with ‘im,” Nori argues. “We can’ trust ‘im with his own safe’y right now!”

“This is a free mountain.” Dwalin rises from his chair. “Especially for us, especially for him.”

“Sit, Dwalin.”

At Thorin’s command he does sit, but with a huff and a look at Nori like he’d like to throw him a cell for a few days, like the old time in the Blue Mountains.

“I don’t like this lying, anymore than all of you,” Thorin says, his gaze purposefully avoiding Nori who’d suggested the very plan. “But it’s as we agreed. If it’s dragon sickness, we’ll act quickly. If it’s something else, we don’t know what might happen to him when we confront it. Balin, you’ve suggested it could be the warrior’s weariness?”

“Aye, it might be,” Balin nods. “He was thrust from a life of fifty years of peace into enough turmoil and war to scar any mind. But that trinket he has… I fear it may be making things worse.”

Thorin nods. “We continue with our plan. We make sure he eats, and wait for his pockets to rip.”

“It’ll be over in no time,” Nori says with complete confidence. “Even if it’s just a li’l stone, those pockets always tore open eventually.”

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bilbo stormed into his room huffing, setting the bread beside last night’s barely-picked meal. “Like I’m a child,” he scoffs to the empty room. “Even a child gets some privacy, don’t they? But we get confines and-and lockouts!”

He plops heavily onto his bed and pulls out the pip Gandalf gifted him, along with the Old Toby, and lights his pipe. He blows a few smoke rings, very fine smoke rings indeed.

His golden ring is in his hand yet again.

It had only been a few hours since he’d torn himself up trying to leave it behind, but now… now he feels nauseous just looking at, hearing the whispers, the not-heartbeat, feeling the weight in his hand…

And yet, a thought occurs to him.

“Can’t accompany us if they can’t see us.”

He rolls the ring between his pointer finger and thumb. “Could you hide my smoke ring?” he asks, quietly and with a wavering voice. The sick feeling in his stomach isn’t going away.

The Ring whispers… but doesn’t answer.

“Not that they’d ever see them, with those tall ceilings.” 

“They’d worry though, surely.”

“So what? They’re always worrying these days.”

He frowns a little and tilts his head in agreement to the point. “Fair enough.” He takes one more long drag from his pipe, puffing out the biggest smoke ring yet. “... Maybe just this once.”

His hand stills just before The Ring slips onto his finger.

Something is… something is not, right…

He swallows, staring down, staring at the light of the lanterns glinting off of The Ring as he holds it there, poised at the tip of his finger. He adjust his posture and coughs a little. He still doesn’t put it on.

And then there’s a knock at the door, and a “I think it’s unlocked,” and it begins to open-

And Bilbo is out of the regular world, into the world of wisps and shadows and living air.

Fili and Kili peek around the room. “Must’ve just missed him,” Fili says, pointing at the smoke lingering in the air. “Maybe he went to the markets without us?”

The markets… I forgot about the markets. Bilbo swallows a sigh.

They drove me off in the first place, though. It’s not as though we can’t go later. I just need a bit of privacy first. A bit of time to cool down.

The princes have opened the door a good bit more, whispering to each other in Khuzdul, and Bilbo takes the chance to slip out between them.

Right, now… door, treasury, or outside altogether? Bilbo peers around the halls, listening, trying to discern where the largest gatherings to avoid might be through the hissing words of the air.

They’ll panic if they go looking and I don’t turn up quickly, so not outside. The door is too far away as well, but the treasury makes noise as I move about.

So maybe somewhere a little deeper. A little farther in. Mmm, but it’s dangerous.

And away from prying eyes.

I’m just going to have a smoke, though. I’ll just stay withing hearing distance of the treasury entrance. It’ll be enough for today.

But every other day? When our patience runs out? When we need a moment along, just to us?I’ll just have to learn my around a bit better, I suppose.