#hannibal severes his connections with other people not because he wants to hurt will but because he wants to save him for himself. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

k-s-morgan · 5 years ago

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Will’s vs. Hannibal’s Ways of Expressing Love

The fact that Hannibal loves Will and is in love with him is openly stated in the show several times. Will’s feelings, on the other hand, are more ambiguous, which is why some viewers often doubt whether Hannibal’s love is reciprocated. I think that exploring the ways these two men experience and react to love can explain the varying degrees of their openness about it.

I’ll put TLDR right here: Hannibal is more open about himself and his feelings, including love, hence he doesn’t have many challenges with admitting it. Will is closed off, stiff, and emotionally repressed, so he expresses his feelings in a much more subtle way.

Let’s start with Hannibal. Details about his past are scarce, but we know that he admits to loving two people throughout his life, his sister and Will.

E3 of S3.

*Bedelia: What your sister made you feel was beyond your conscious ability to control or predict … I would suggest what Will Graham makes you feel is not dissimilar. A force of mind and circumstance.*

*Hannibal: Love.*

Undoubtedly, Hannibal’s love for Mischa was traumatic and unhealthy. He loved her so much that he ate a part of her body after she was killed, devastated by this loss. But it was still love that made him feel all the related emotions, so Hannibal has some experience with it. From what we know of him, he has a very broad mind. He despises limitations and overcomes them, and he is not ashamed of who he is. He isn’t embarrassed to cry in the opera or to be the first to stand up and applaud; he delights in stereotypically ‘feminine’ hobbies like cooking and clothes selection; he draws fan-art and openly expresses his admiration when it’s due. For this reason, Hannibal doesn’t have many problems with expressing love either.

Upon meeting Will, he is immediately drawn to him. He sees him as his potential partner and decides he wants to try and build a family with him as early as E2 of S1. That’s when he starts planting the idea of Abigail being their shared daughter in Will’s mind. He does the same to Abigail, urging her to see him and Will as her parents, even giving her shrooms to evoke the desired associations (unsuccessfully since Will doesn’t come to dinner). So, Hannibal acknowledged his pull/infatuation with Will from the very start, and he acted on it right away.

It’s not 100% love at this point, but Hannibal still easily follows his emotions. He doesn’t stop to consider how strange it is to want a family with a man he just met; he doesn’t agonize over the idea of how his life has more risks now that he allows another human being to know him. When these feelings progress at the end of S1/start of S2, Hannibal is finally taken aback. While he never planned to leave Will in prison and it was a part of his plan, he still didn’t expect to miss him so much — he admits it to Bedelia, looking forlorn, in E1 of S2. He repeatedly pines for Will by sitting in front of his chair at the time of his supposed appointment, glancing at the clock despite knowing Will is not going to come. This is a shift to an actual love, but Hannibal still doesn’t fight it. On the contrary, he embraces it, and he spends the entire S2 doing repeatedly romantic gestures for Will. Namely:

1) Protects Abigail to reunite Will with her later.

2) Shares a part of himself he doesn’t seem to have ever shared with anyone else. He talks to Will about Mischa, reveals his views on murder and God, acknowledges he cared about Abigail, and shows vulnerability. He shares his teacup ritual with him, which is something precious and deeply personal.

3) He digs up fake Freddie’s corpse and decorates it as a way of courting Will (as directly said by Alana).

4) He draws a fan-art of himself and Will as Achilles and Patroclus.

5) He is ready to abandon his well-established life in Baltimore and reputation to run away with Will. In Hannibal’s view, no one truly suspects him and there is no evidence against him, but Will is in danger. So he’s willing to discard everything he’s been building for 20 years for him.

Finally, he calls Will a loved one more or less directly in E13 of S2 (in fact, he implies that they both love each other).

*Hannibal: Do you know what an imago is, Will? … An imago is an image of a loved one buried in the unconscious, carried with us all our lives.*

*Will: An ideal.*

*Hannibal: The concept of an ideal... I have a concept of you, just as you have a concept of me.*

Will hurts him with his betrayal, and Hannibal still finds himself unable to kill him. He is openly crying in the finale, admitting how Will hurt him, breaks his (and his own) heart by killing Abigail, and flees to Europe to start a new life. But things don’t go as he hoped they would. Bedelia is not a worthy substitute, and Hannibal is increasingly slipping into a self-destructive state because of his love for Will. He kills Anthony, who was an improved copy of Will, and turns him into a Valentine heart for him. Again, this is a very explicit and open emotional action. Hannibal doesn’t hide his feelings. He’s an emotional wreck with Bedelia in E3, and as they are talking about Will, he admits he’s in love with him.

*Hannibal: You cannot control with respect to whom you fall in love.*

Bedelia points out his self-destructiveness.

*Bedelia: You're going to get caught. It's already been set into motion … I know exactly how I will be navigating my way out of whatever it is I’ve gotten myself into. Do you?*

After Hannibal keeps spiraling and kills Sogliato, she adds: *You're drawing them to you, aren't you? All of them.*

Hannibal gets so self-destructive over Will that he lets Jack beat himself almost to death, not even attempting to fight him. The first words he says to Will after they reunite in E6 are:

*Hannibal: If I saw you every day forever, Will, I would remember this time.*

He’s a romantic. The courtship, the Valentine heart, the romance — Hannibal did have some struggles, but overall, he accepts these feelings and isn’t afraid to act on them.

When Will pulls a knife in E6, Hannibal classifies it as another betrayal. This is where he decides to kill and eat him in the hope to put an end to this misery (which is what he and Bedelia discussed back in E3). However, even blinded by another heartbreak, Hannibal tries to save Will at the same time. He knows the police are coming and he puts off the moment of sawing for as long as he can, first fussing over Will and his wound, then waiting for Jack, then doing everything slowly as hell.

Everything changes in E7, when Hannibal faces the real risk of losing Will and comes to terms with the fact that a hope of life with him is better than life without him. So Hannibal carries Will home bridal-style, takes care of him, waits for him to wake up and writes formulas to reverse time. He directly tells Will that Will won, and that he, Hannibal, is at Will’s mercy.

*Hannibal: Your memory palace is building. It's full of new things. It shares some rooms with my own. I've discovered you there. Victorious.*

He gives himself up, sacrificing the freedom he’s been fighting for back in E2 finale, in the hope that one day, Will is going to come back to him. After this, Hannibal is all about Will, with all his heart. Throughout the second half of S3, he says things like, *“I gave you a child. You are family, Will. Was it good to see me?”*, etc. He agrees to risk his life by agreeing to Will’s plan, knowing he’s planning something but not knowing what and if he’d die in the process. In E13, Hannibal says:

*Hannibal: "No greater love hath man than to lay down his life for a friend"* and shields Will from the bullet. Later, he allows Will to push them both down, and he stays with him afterward.

Conclusion: Hannibal is very accepting of himself, so he doesn’t undergo severe challenges on the path to acknowledging what he feels for Will. He knows what love feels like because he felt it for Mischa before, so he embraces loving Will pretty quickly, even though he doesn’t know how to best approach it at times. That’s why we get direct and explicit confirmation of his feelings several times.

Now, on to Will.

Unlike with Hannibal, there is no evidence that Will has ever experienced love before (at least love for people). We know he had a father and was lonely as a child.

E4 of S1.

*Will: We were poor. I followed my father from the boat yards in Biloxi and Greenville to lake boats on Erie.*

*Hannibal: Always the new boy at school? Always the stranger?*

*Will: Always.*

His choice of words indicates that his relationship with his father wasn’t all that good (for instance, *I followed my father* instead of *My father and I had to…*). So, it doesn’t look like Will ever had meaningful connections. More than that, he says:

*Will: There’s something so foreign about family. Like an ill-fitting suit. Never connected to the concept.*

We can suggest that he doesn’t know what love is or how it feels like. From E1, we know he isolates himself because he hates himself for who he is: he understands he’s different, that there is darkness in him, but he desperately tries to subdue it and deny this fact. He’s rude, twitchy, and unhappy, but like Hannibal, he understands the extent of his loneliness only upon meeting him. That’s when he tries forming relationships with others.

Will’s relationships with Alana and Abigail are a good indication of his problems with love. He wants to be with Alana because he needs to feel normal. In 99% of cases, he remembers about her only when she comes to seek him out first. He kisses her for the first time at the moment of particular vulnerability, fearing that he’s finally losing his mind (in E8). When Hannibal calls him out on it, Will doesn’t deny it and semi-nods. He actually had to agree with it verbally according to the script.

*Will: I feel unstable.*

*Hannibal: That’s why you kissed her. A clutch for balance.*

*Will: Because I’m losing mine.*

So, it’s not that Will feels romantic love for Alana — he uses her because he desperately needs to feel like everyone else. Alana is a pretty, smart, normal woman who fits this goal perfectly. He doesn’t allow himself to be genuine with her unlike he does with Hannibal, to whom he opens up.

Will confesses to Hannibal that he loved killing Hobbs in E2, which got him down and made him panic. Hannibal supports him, and Will keeps coming back to him. He talks about everything important with Hannibal, opening parts of himself that he guards from everyone else. Will asks Hannibal to look after his dogs as early as E4 — he doesn’t have other friends, and he’s already focused on Hannibal. He buys into an idea of having a family with him and Abigail, which is amazing for Will, who has just said he could never relate to the concept of family.

When Will buys a gift for Abigail in the same E4 and freaks out, Hannibal asks him:

*Hannibal: Feeling paternal, Will?*

Will’s reaction is instant and defensive:

*Will: Aren’t you?*

Hannibal easily says “yes”, which disarms Will. This is a great contrast between them: Hannibal isn’t afraid to talk and acknowledge his feelings while Will is embarrassed of them and shies away from them. In fact, this is a repeat of their conversation in E2.

*Hannibal: You saved Abigail Hobbs' life. You also orphaned her. It comes with certain emotional obligations.*

*Will: You were there. You saved her life, too. Do you feel obligated?*

Again, Will deflects. He’s wary of emotions, especially of admitting them out loud.

Will shows a hint of romantic interest in Hannibal in E7. He brings him a bottle of wine out of blue, but unfortunately, he stumbles upon the party Hannibal is preparing. Hannibal invites him to stay, but Will says he won’t be good company. He’s shy and awkward, smiling nervously and dropping his gaze in embarrassment. Then we have this lovely line:

*Will: I’ve got a date with the Chesapeake Ripper.*

So, in S1, Will makes considerable emotional progress. He realizes he wants a family after all, and while he makes several half-hearted attempts to court Alana, he’s mostly focused on Hannibal and Abigail. He opens himself up to Hannibal, receives official guardianship over Abigail with him, arguably flirts with Hannibal (like in the wine scene above), and covers up murder to protect their family. But then Hannibal betrays him. Will doesn’t know his reasons yet, but this betrayal plunged him into darkness, bitterness, and new stage of emotional repression. It’s worth mentioning another point of Abigail here: in the end, Will doesn’t know her. He spoke to her only several times, and even fewer times were genuine. He loves the idea of her, and this idea was introduced by Hannibal, not by Abigail’s presence. It’s Hannibal who forced Will to confront his need to love and be loved.

In S2, Will is incredibly conflicted. He acknowledges to Hannibal that he hurt him, tries to kill him via Matthew, but when he recognizes that Hannibal wants him as a friend (as spoken in E7), his attitude changes. Will doesn’t plan to forgive him, he’s still angry at Hannibal for killing Abigail (which is his biggest conflict, as evident from his talks with Hannibal himself and Freddie), but now, he can’t bring himself to harm or betray Hannibal.

He gets his first chance in E7, after being released from prison. He threatens Hannibal with a gun and has a perfect chance to make him pay, but he doesn’t. Instead, he conspires with Jack and decides to cultivate co-dependency, creating an environment where only he “and the fish exist” (E8). What does Will do to start? He makes himself physically attractive, grooming and dressing prettily. It’s a seduction on all levels, and Will plans to use emotions to hurt Hannibal back. At the same time, Will admits to being confused over what he feels for Hannibal.

E8 of S2.

*Will: I envy you your hate. Makes it much easier when you know how to feel.*

E9 of S2 (talking about trying to kill Hannibal with Margot).

*Margot: Did he have it coming?*

*Will: What do you think?*

*Margot: I can't say that I know.*

*Will: Neither can I.*

He spends the rest of the season lying to both Hannibal and Jack, unsure whose side to choose, too lost in his own feelings to make sense of them. At the same time, he has a dream where Hannibal calls him beloved in E9. It shows that Will contemplates the idea of love in relation to Hannibal. In E10, Will tries to fantasize about Alana as he’s having sex with Margot. However, he sees the image of Wendigo near the fireplace, Wendigo who he’s used to associating with Hannibal. Two interesting things (copied from my other meta): first, Will actually sees Hannibal’s room and consequently, he sees himself in it (or he sees their rooms united). Second, he sees the Wendigo near Hannibal’s fireplace. Fireplace has many meanings, including passion, sexuality, home, family, and resurrection. It emphasizes the sexual and romantic subtext of this uniquely shot scene, where people destined to be together have sex with the wrong partners. Will’s vision begins to contract, focusing on Wendigo: he is having an orgasm at this very moment, imagining the Wendigo’s face very close, approaching him. Still through the misty eyes, he tries to focus on Alana again, but his gaze moves up to Wendigo above her, as if he can’t help himself. He and Hannibal reach orgasm first, with Alana and Margot following them. So, Will dragged Hannibal into his sex fantasy. It’s both symbolic and physical: he tried to imagine Alana just like he tried to have a relationship with her before, in S1, out of his desire to be normal. But his attention is inevitably drawn to Hannibal, who’s his “real deal”.

Based on this scene, it’s underlined once again how Will struggles with emotions. Even in the safety of his own mind, in his own fantasy, he tries to think of Alana but still ends up with Hannibal. Will is always fighting himself and who he is. He refuses to accept his darkness just as he refuses to admit he loves Hannibal. It’s the essence of who he is, denial is his second name.

Among the important moments, there are Will’s words to Hannibal:

*Will: You are right. We are just alike. You are as alone as I am. And we are both alone without each other.*

So, Will accepts the bond with Hannibal, and at this stage, he even has the courage to voice some of his emotional thoughts. His progress is slow, but it’s there.

In E11, Will has a nightmare. He sees a burning corpse of ‘Freddie’ in a wheelchair, a symbol of his betrayal of Hannibal, and he hears his own increasing screaming. It’s easy to interpret, knowing the context: Will feels guilty for lying to Hannibal.

When Margot loses her child, Will feels renewed anger at Hannibal. He fantasizes about killing him and gets to realize his fantasy with Mason’s help in E12. But at the last moment, Will changes his mind and chooses Hannibal. He does the same thing in E13 by calling him. When he sees him, he doesn’t even try to point a gun at him: he asks why he didn’t leave as he was supposed to, and he even leans forward to accept the knife, accept the punishment for betrayal.

So, Will chooses Hannibal over Abigail, for whom he wanted justice; over his and Margot’s child, for whom he wanted revenge; over Jack and Alana, who were his only semblance of friends; over his own confusion and desire to be normal. For someone as emotionally stunted as Will, it’s huge. It proves that he loves Hannibal and is willing to compromise all other relationships he has formed as well his own beliefs for him (while Will is dark, he tries to fight it because he doesn’t think people like them are normal). Is it romantic? Will’s dream with the word “beloved” and his sex fantasy, as well as his acceptance of the idea that he and Hannibal were Abigail’s fathers (which makes them partners) imply that yes, romantic feeling is a part of it.

Hannibal’s romantic feelings became explicit in S3, and so did Will’s. But since Hannibal is more open and self-accepting, his were discussed out loud while Will’s were mostly portrayed silently, implied, and alluded to.

Will builds a boat to sail and find Hannibal, which is pretty romantic by itself. He spends his time in Hannibal’s house, in the kitchen where their bloody break-up happened, imagining Abigail near him. When Alana comes to find him, he asks her to leave. He’s cold and indifferent toward her — she’s not what he wants, and he’s not interested in even friendship with her. All he wants is to mourn his lost family with Hannibal and Abigail. Again, Hannibal is Will’s priority.

Will imagines his perfect world as the one where he and Hannibal killed Jack together. This scene is intercut with his Mizumono memories, namely, with Hannibal's face that emerges every time he moves yet another part of the engine. This is a vivid demonstration of Will trying to repair what is now broken. When Jack asks him why he called him, Will is indifferent and genuine:

*Will: I wasn't decided when I called him. I just called him. I deliberated while the phone rang. I decided when I heard his voice … I told him to leave. I wanted him to run … Because he was my friend. And because I wanted to run away with him.*

That’s a big admission for Will. This is the first time he openly acknowledges Hannibal as his friend in front of another person. Chilton calls Will and Hannibal’s interactions a “flirtation” in this episode, which once again points us in the romantic direction.

The entire E2 of S3 is dedicated to Will’s love for Hannibal, where he argues about it with himself in the form of imaginary Abigail. This is another proof of Will’s problem with emotions in general and emotions for Hannibal in particular. He can’t just think to himself as normal people do — no, he can’t admit how much he loves Hannibal this. Instead, he imagines Abigail and talks to himself through her to make it easier. He berates himself for lying.

*Will/Abigail: We were all supposed to leave together. He made a place for us. Why did you lie to him? He gave you a chance to take it all back, and you just kept lying.*

Will is reverent about Hannibal; he keeps talking about him over and over again.

*Will: This isn't Hannibal, it's just where he begins. Beyond this, far and complex, light and dark, is the vast structure of his mind. A thousand rooms, miles of corridors. Everything he remembers, wonderfully and fearfully reconstructed.*

Will goes as far as lies at the place where Hannibal’s Valentine heart for him was, reconstructing this image and trying to feel close to him. The heart comes to life the moment Will touches it, which is romantic. Will says:

*Will: A valentine written on a broken man … I do feel closer to Hannibal here. God only knows where I would be without him … He left us his broken heart … He misses us.*

He looks on the verge of tears, so Hannibal’s gift touched him. Will is overcome by emotions. At this very moment, his more frightened side suggests that Hannibal is also playing with him.

*Will: Hannibal follows several trains of thought at once without distraction from any, and one of the trains is always for his own amusement.*

We know it’s not the case, especially here, but Will has trust issues and a low self-esteem. He’s worried that Hannibal’s feelings for him aren’t as strong as he thinks they are, which is why he’s not sure how to react himself. He asks himself, *“You still want to go with him?”* and replies, *“Yes.” He wonders about what life they’d have if they left.

*Will: What if no one died? What if we all left together? Like we were supposed to. After he served the lamb. Where would we have gone? … In some other world.*

Pazzi comes and tells Will that he hopes they’ll catch Hannibal together.

*Will: What makes you think I want to catch him?*

Later, Pazzi says:

*Pazzi: He let you know him. He sent you his heart.*

E2 ends with Will scaring Pazzi and telling him, *“You don’t know whose side I’m on.* Then he tells Hannibal he forgives him, which is also a huge step in his direction.

This entire episode proves that yes, Will loves Hannibal. Considering how he isn’t awkward from receiving a Valentine or hearing that Hannibal gave him his heart, Will shares the romantic aspect of Hannibal’s feelings for him. He regrets not running away with him and their daughter, he places himself on the floor where the heart was to feel closer to him — this is such a rich romantic subtext that it’s practically text. Especially for Will, who remains so conflicted and emotionally restrained all the time.

Will’s attitude changes after seeing Chiyoh. He becomes more bitter. Considering how dark he is in these scenes and how he constantly compares himself and Chiyoh, he likely sees her as someone Hannibal was supposed to love but easily abandoned. It makes Will draw the parallels between them, and he starts to doubt that Hannibal loves him, that his “broken heart” has any authentic meaning. That’s where he starts thinking about killing Hannibal again. He still says:

*Will: I’ve never known myself as well as I know myself when I’m with him.*

This line also speaks volumes. Hannibal gave Will a precious gift of understanding himself; he showed that he could accept him, and Will is drawn to it. Will admits the depth of their connection to yet another person. Then he makes a firefly from Chiyoh’s prisoner, a tribute that is clearly done with Hannibal in his mind, considering the style and the central topic.

Chiyoh sees right through Will’s emotional constipation. She implies that he should “kiss” Hannibal rather than keep being “violent”:

*Chiyoh: I told you, there are means of influence other than violence.*

She kisses Will then, thus showing him what others means exist. He doesn’t get it, though, since he responds to her kiss despite not feeling anything for her, and she pushes him off the train, likely admitting he’s a hopeless case.

Meeting Jack, Will tells him that a part of him will always want to leave with Hannibal. This is yet another declaration from him. Will isn’t scared of the consequences — he speaks of his feelings openly now. It’s a great development of his character.

But the feeling of doubt about Hannibal likely resurfaces further after Will sees that Hannibal replaced him and Abigail with Bedelia in E6 (hence his hatred for her since that moment). He mocks her alibi and then leaves to reunite with Hannibal. The following moment was deleted, but it still discloses some of Will’s romantic feelings:

*Will: I looked up at the night sky there. Orion above the horizon and, near it, Jupiter. I wondered if you could see it, too. I wondered if our stars were the same.*

From the words that did get into the episode:

*Will: You and I have begun to blur ... We're conjoined. Curious if either of us can survive separation.*

Will doesn’t just admit the bond between them, he elevates it the level of soulmates, implying they are one and the same. It’s also a declaration of love in his language. But love doesn’t stop Will from being vindictive, hurt, and angry, so after meetings with Chiyoh and Bedelia that affected his perception, he pulls out a knife as he and Hannibal are walking together.

There is a brain-sawing disaster after this and E7, where Will looks done and tired from the madness and his constant attempts to figure Hannibal out. He does bite Cordell before looking at Hannibal, seeking his approval; he uses “we” pronouns when speaking about Hannibal with Alana. One example:

*Will: You helped Mason Verger find us.*

So, he still sees himself and Hannibal as a team, but he’s still tired and bitter, so after everything is over, he hurts Hannibal by saying he doesn’t share his appetite and by attacking him emotionally.

*Will: I miss my dogs. I'm not going to miss you. I'm not going to find you. I'm not going to look for you. I don't want to know where you are or what you do. I don't want to think about you anymore.*

This is all personal and emotional. It sounds like a break-up, which is exactly how Bryan Fuller and others referred to it. When Hannibal leaves and Jacks arrives, Will puts on his glasses, an indication that he’s hiding again.

Fast-forward 3 years. Will is married now, but from the very start, we see that this marriage isn’t all people usually expect it to be. The first scene shows the family apart. Molly and Walter have gone fishing, which is something Will loves. He had dreams about teaching Abigail how to fish, but he doesn’t go to do that with his family, preferring to stay alone instead. It’s the first hint that his heart isn’t in this relationship, that he’s too hung up on the past to move forward and make new happy memories.

Jack came to drag him to Dragon’s case, and Will makes it look like he’s reluctant. At the same time, he doesn’t send Jack away, even though we know from the past that he has no qualms being frank when he wants to. More than that, he asks him not to show pics to Molly, but when they have dinner, Will deliberately leaves the house with Walter, leaving Jack and Molly together. At night, when Molly’s asleep, he crawls out of bed and goes to read Hannibal’s letter. He doesn’t tell the truth to Molly about himself and his dark urges, about everything he has done – Molly clearly has no idea who he truly is, considering how she jokes about his ‘criminal mind’ in later episodes and how Will immediately closes himself off from her. He never initiates physical touches with her; he doesn’t return her “I love you”, which is an even bigger indication of his lack of commitment. Will is emotionally stiff with Molly for the most part, and the only times he laughs with her or shows any emotion is when they are talking about superficial stuff in the former case and when he’s furious after Francis’ attack in the latter one. Other than that, there is no closeness or honesty.

Another point of Will’s inability to express or even give his love to someone is in his scene with Walter in E11. This child, his step-son, has just been attacked by a serial killer with his mother. His mother was hurt and they barely escaped. Will doesn’t hug him or offer him paternal emotional comfort; he’s very awkward. All he says is, “You're both safe here,” which is something an officer might say but not a father. Will was much more emotional in his fantasies about Abigail.

This is what Will says about Walter’s reaction to Jack:

*Will: He read about me in a Freddie Lounds article. I had to justify myself to an eleven year old.*

He’s resentful and not emotional. He doesn’t say, “I had to justify myself to my son!” – he distances himself from him. Will is cold. He has expressed his feelings for Hannibal at this point in rather poetic ways, but he can’t be bothered to do this for his wife and his son.

He treats Hannibal in a very reserved fashion too, in comparison to how he acted 3 years ago. However: first, there is the fact that he came to visit him in the first place. Will didn’t need his help, we saw very clearly how he managed to easily reconstruct the crime scene the night before. It proved that his mindset is in a good shape, so he didn’t need Hannibal’s assistance. But it’s Hannibal he requested to see right away.

Will distances himself from him by calling him “Doctor Lecter” and insisting that he’s more comfortable the less personal they are. His eyes glisten, though, and he can’t look away from Hannibal. The impersonal approach doesn’t last very long, too, and soon, they are talking like they always did. Hannibal accuses Will of marrying for false reasons.

*Hannibal: How did you choose yours? Readymade wife and child to serve your needs. A stepson or daughter. A stepson absolves you of any biological blame. You know better than to breed. Can't pass on those terrible traits you fear the most.*

Will doesn’t bother to deny it, though any man would have been offended, particularly if he truly loved his family. In Will’s case, from the experience and all the precedents, silence = agreement.

In E10, Will seeks Bedelia out. He acts catty and jealous, targeting her personal connection with Hannibal.

*Will: You didn't lose yourself, Bedelia, you just crawled so far up his ass you couldn't be bothered.* - personal, targeted against Bedelia's attachment to Hannibal.

*Will: You hitched your star to a man commonly known as a monster. You're the Bride of Frankenstein.* - personal, attack with romantic connotation. Bedelia catches up on it and mocks him:

*Bedelia: We've both been his bride. Have you been to see him?*

*Will: Yes.*

*Bedelia: Haven't learned anything, have you? Or did you just miss him that much?*

*Will: Have you been to see him?* - personal again. Will wants to know if Bedelia is keeping contact with Hannibal.

*Bedelia: I've seen enough of him. I was with him behind the veil. You were always on the other side.*

*Will: Something we should talk about.* - again, personal. It's all personal, which is why Bryan and Hugh called them Hannibal's jealous bitchy exes. Will is palpably jealous and he shows his resentment to Bedelia openly.

Later, we have some more romantic references.

*Bedelia: My relationship with Hannibal is not as passionate as yours. You are here visiting old flame. Is your wife aware of how intimately you and Hannibal know each other? … Your experience of Hannibal’s attention is so profoundly harmful yet so irresistible, it undermines your ability to think rationally.*

So, there is romantic text, parallels between Hannibal and Will’s wife, and Will doesn’t deny any of this again. He keeps coming to Bedelia because she’s the only person he can talk about Hannibal to without being watched.

After Hannibal sends Francis after Molly and Walter, Will spends about a minute being angry with him. Then he accuses Hannibal of staging a competition between him and Francis. It is startling: Will spent months, years mourning the loss of Abigail who he didn’t even really know personally, yet he forgets the gravity of what happened to his wife and won very quickly. He leaves Molly and Walter and tells Bedelia that they are finished. One traumatic event, and Will left. It coincides with something very important that happened here: after this, Will finally figures out Hannibal is truly in love with him. So he goes to Bedelia to discuss it with her.

*Will: Is Hannibal in love with me?*

*Bedelia: Could he daily feel a stab of hunger for you, and find nourishment at the very sight of you? Yes. But do you ache for him?*

Will is predictably silent. Obviously, if the answer was no, he would have said no. But he struggles because like we established, he has issues with expressing emotions. He only managed to start referring to Hannibal as his friend openly in this season, opening up about some of his feelings, but he’s not ready to go this far. It would be absolutely out of character for Will to say, “Yes, you know, I’m in love with him! Thanks for helping me see it.” Every confession Will makes is preceded by struggles and heartbreak. But he’s going to reply to Bedelia’s question, only not explicitly-verbally.

Will sets up Chilton and then comes to allegedly say good-bye to Hannibal. He lies several times in their conversation (about Chilton and Molly with Walter), so all his words are automatically suspicious. Regardless, he destroys Hannibal emotionally and walks away. Personally, I believe he was already planning to break him out, so he was playing it up for cameras and also taking a chance to hurt Hannibal for everything again. But whatever his plan was, what happens next is that Will conspires with Francis against Jack, Alana, and the FBI. They agree to break Hannibal out together. Will lies to Jack and then gets to ask Hannibal for help. He’s being flirty and manipulative in this scene.

*Will: I need you, Hannibal … You're our best shot, Hannibal. Please.*

He’s smirking, he leans close to Hannibal, he sends him a flirty look from under his eyelashes. Will is thoroughly enjoying himself, and he does it best when he has some excuse to hide behind.

Later, he lies to Jack and Alana again, leaks info to Francis (who nearly killed his wife and son), and gets many officers killed by proxy. He tells Bedelia the truth that he doesn’t “intend Hannibal to be caught a second time.” He also implies that he’s going to let him go free, which is why Bedelia should pack her bags.

*Bedelia: Can't live with him. Can't live without him. Is that what this is?*

This time, Will agrees, although in his way.

*Will: I guess this is my Becoming.*

For Will, Becoming was always connected to his feelings for Hannibal because accepting himself and his darkness meant being free to escape with Hannibal.

*Bedelia: You found religion. Nothing more dangerous than that.*

In E3, it was stated that love is a God (you can find more here https://www.reddit.com/r/HannibalTV/comments/7w54dg/lovegodreligion_s3_parallels/), so it’s possible to say that religion = love in this context. It certainly makes sense. Will is accepting himself and his emotions, and the trigger was establishing for sure that Hannibal is in love with him.

Will and Hannibal drive to the cliff house. When Hannibal asks Will if he intends to save himself by killing them both (Hannibal and Francis), Will replies:

*Will: I don't know if I can save myself. And maybe that's just fine.*

This is the first time he confesses that he might be incapable of killing Hannibal. Predictably, when Francis comes, Will can’t handle seeing Hannibal killed, so he reaches for his gun.

Will and Hannibal work as a unit and protect each other. Hannibal is shot, nearly strangled, thrown onto the ground, and he is still weakly holding on Francis' leg to prevent him from going after Will, even though it leaves him in an open and vulnerable position — Francis does kick him in the face with his other leg. There is fierce determination on Will's face as he stands up despite the pain and runs to save Hannibal. They act in synch, consummating their relationship.

Then, Will admires how blood looks on his hand and repeats Hannibal’s words:

*Will: It really does look black in the moonlight.*

He remembers the words Hannibal said to him weeks ago in one of their endless interactions. A bit earlier, he perfectly recalled the words Hannibal told him *years* ago, back in the middle of S2.

*Will: I understand that “blood and breath are only elements undergoing change to fuel your Radiance." Hannibal said those words. To me.*

So, Will remembers everything Hannibal told him. He stores these memories. It’s a small but still important proof how important Hannibal is for him.

At the cliff, Will finally accepts the truth.

*Hannibal: See. This is all I ever wanted for you, Will. For both of us.*

We know what Hannibal wanted: a Murder Husband. What does Will say to this?

*Will: It’s beautiful.*

This is a loud “yes” to Bedelia’s question about his feelings. Will acknowledges, accepts, and admires them. He doesn’t feel awkward, as he would if he knew Hannibal is in love with him but didn’t feel the same. No, he reaches forward to embrace him, and such physical contact from Will is mind-blowing because he almost never does it. He clings to Hannibal, puts his head on his shoulder, touches him as if he wants to melt with him. Then he gives the fate a chance to stop both of them or to set them free. They fall into the ocean under the Love Crime song, another romantic element.

Water symbolizes reborn, and post-credits scene indicates that Will and Hannibal have paid a visit to Bedelia and are in the process of eating her while she’s hiding the fork to stab one of them as he approaches. The deleted epilogue to the series shows that they are in perfect harmony now.

**Conclusion**: Will has passed through a long, painful journey. He went from hiding from emotions and deflecting to not denying and carefully acknowledging them. We don’t hear words “love” or “in love” from him in relation to Hannibal because Will is not that kind of person. He doesn’t use these words freely, and for him, every small emotional step is a struggle. He tried to deceive himself and other numerous times; he tied to deny the truth and manipulate his own mind, but with each season, his feelings for Hannibal became more and more explicit. Will reaching out for physical contact, Will saying “It’s beautiful” are his way of saying, “I ached for you. I love you.”

This is a story of mutual love and obsession, about soulmates, about unique type of connection that few people share. It’s not about Hannibal falling in love and Will not feeling the same. Their feelings are equally strong, but they express them differently, particularly as Will’s are tied to the acceptance of his own darkness.

#will graham #hannibal lecter #hannigram #nbc hannibal #murder husbands

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askyourwritergrandma · 3 years ago

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Writing advice please? How do I redeem a villain that knows he’s evil and LIKES it because (1) its fun and (2) it gets him what he wants, which is freedom and power. He’s already committed a lot of evil and proved himself willing to hurt anyone to get what he wants. He’s very selfish and manipulative. I’ve already taken away much of his power (and given it to the protagonist) who he’s willing to ally with when it suits his needs. Now how do I make him WANT to change and be seen as worthy of it?

Hello Anon!

The redemption arc is quite a challenge! There are a lot of them out there and everyone has different opinions about what makes them work or not work. It really comes down to balance.

The degree of "evil" = the length of the redemption arc.

Hannibal Lecter, for instance, cannot be redeemed. He doesn't want to be so that's convenient, but even if he wanted to be? There isn't enough time in the world to properly, fully redeem him. The things that he has done (eating people, murder, etc) are too severe. Even when he does good he's not doing it for the sake of being good, it's still self-serving to him in some way.

Loki from the MCU can be redeemed. He's done bad things for bad reasons but as selfish and self-serving as his actions are, he is capable of being redeemed. In part because he lives for a long time and in part because he wants to be accepted and loved (underneath all that trouble).

As to your specific issue:

First off, you need to understand what motivates your Antagonist to do what he's doing. He wants freedom, you said, and he's willing to commit evil acts to get it. He's selfish. He obviously on cares about himself.

What you need to consider first is: Why is freedom his ultimate goal (if it is)? Why does it matter so much? Was he in a past situation where he had no freedom? If yes, that situation obviously left an impression on him. While it would make his choices more understandable, no matter what might have happened to him in the past, it does not excuse his actions.

It's important not to use past injustice to handwave current acts of evil. (At least not if you want redemption.)

Whatever motivated him to take the "evil" path needs to be explored. If he wants freedom above all, then his redemption arc would involve him voluntarily giving up his freedom/autonomy for the good of others. He's not fully redeemed at that point, but it's the start.

The more difficult part of what you've described is that he enjoys being evil. Someone that enjoys what he's doing isn't going to want to change? You cannot force him to change if he doesn't want it. In fact, if you've taken away his power and given it to someone else, that's not going to force him to want to change as much as it's going to put him under stress. If he enjoys evil, he uses it to get what he wants, there's no reason he wouldn't just find a new way to continue to be evil to get his power back somehow.

So, say he appears to enjoy it but you come back in and you show him having moments of doubt, or stress in reaction to the things that he's done. He works at a soup kitchen or he tries to get absolution from church or something like that. You need to show that despite using evil to get what he wants, he has interest in being a better person.

Alternative, you have to use your narrative to make him realize the depth of his evil. Maybe he's so self-centered he doesn't consider his effect on the greater world. Maybe he makes a connection with a relative of someone he killed (not sure what his evil is) who doesn't know who he is and he doesn't know who she is. And he's invested in her to the point he wants to get revenge for her but he finds out its his fault.

That would tie back into the idea of him willingly giving up his freedom. The only way he can get justice for this girl is to turn himself in for the crime that was done to her family. So he does, because he's realized that as much fun as evil is when you're the one doing it--it harms people.

Point is, first thing you have to do is give your villain the desire to be redeemed. It has to be his choice. The rest is just him atoning and taking responsibility for what he's done while actively working to do better.

I hope that helps!

#writing redemption #writing advice #writing help #writers of tumblr

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hugthepanda12 · 3 years ago

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Bobo rant

Ok, @narvana27 this one’s for you coz I’ve mustered up some motivation to finally write some analyses just like you or @medeaminte

This one will cover our beautiful Brazillian boy Raimundo Pedrosa. Some spoilers are inevitable to mention, but the main focus is on the episode titled ‘The Return of Master Monk Guan’.

1.1 short synopsis of the episode:

Master Fung, seeing how the forces of evil grew in power, decides to send monks to another temple for their training. It turns out the new master that is destined to teach them is Master Monk Guan.

As for his methods, they are surprisingly cruel. Our heroes are not allowed to take breaks or even ASK QUESTIONS! Guan becomes that horrible general in military school who likes when cadets are blindly following his orders and train to the point they collapse due to severe exhaustion.

Rai, of course, sees that the way Guan treats his students is unfair and stands up for the rest. Which ends up bad for him. Guan punishes him with additional training and what is worse humiliates him through giving him insulting nicknames! Later on, the audience learns that this disrespectful behaviour of Master Guan was intentional. What is more, Raimundo knows about it as well. It was a part of the agreement between them, reached off screen without the knowledge of the other monks. The main goal of such a strategy was to lure Hannibal Roy Bean out of his hiding, let him believe Rai is ready to turn to the Heylin side (again) and snatch the Treasure of the Blind Swordsman from his little evil vines.

As the episode reaches its end, this plan as well ends in success. Bean is mad as hell and promises Raimundo that he’ll pay for it. Yeah, yeah happy ending. Cool. Rai gets one of the Spears of Guan as a gift for a succesfull colaboration with Master Monk Guan bla blah

BUT!

Even if it was all the play on Guan and Rai’s part throughout the whole episode, in my opionion Guan was too harsh anyway. I get it. He had to be plausible, but man... Rai literally cried when he banished him from the temple!

And this is an issue I wanted to talk about.

1.2. Let’s look at all ‘nicknames’ Guan came up with for Raimundo.

1. Young prince 2. bobo

3. someone dark, ruthless, shady, rebelious

I WANT TO PROVE RAI. IS. NOT. ANY OF THESE.

1.2.1.The insult ‘young prince’ (or princess) is often used when a young person is too lazy to finish chores or he/she is not willing to do them at all. Maybe it was Raimundo in s01, although he had never said ‘no’ to master Fung. He just wanted to go easy way, like swiping the dirt under the sofa instead of getting rid of it in a proper way. But mind you, it is season 3 and this boy has changed a lot. Sometimes you don’t have to work hard to get your task done. All it takes is an adequate situation assessment and good organisation of your work.

It looks as if Guan just doesn’t get it. Just like how vital breaks are in order to rise productivity.

Rai made a right decision to stop training and lay on the grass. He knows what’s good for him and he stands by this intention to REST. Life is not ALWAYS about saving the world. He’s just a kid. Just like Omi, Kimiko or Clay. He’s defending his boundaries, but it appears no one’s respecting that choice.

1.2.2. What about Bobo? Up to this day I thought that Guan wanted to underline that Rai acts like a clown, so he gave him a clown name. However, I came across this site. And guess. Bobo in Portuguese means ‘silly.’

And my question is: Did Guan know? Hmm!? Did you know about it, Guan? If yes, I’m very disappointed in you. ‘Silly little clown boy’ - this is what Rai is? No, it’s not like he was the only one brave enough to fight Mala Mala Jong... or EVEN OMI when he turned heylin!

It’s not like he has feelings or something... He’s the fun guy! Always chill! Not allowed to cry! His purpose is to entertain the rest, righ?

NO. Rai is not only a capable warrior but also a very dedicated friend, who can sacrifice ANYTHING in order to save the rest. Let’s ennumerate how many people he saved throughout the series. People who live near the vulcano in Brazil, that Lady who turned out to be the Bird of Paradise.... OMI. The rest of his team a couple of times...

And what is more, every encounter TAUGHT HIM SOMETHING or had left some scars. He was possessed by Wuya, got beat up, and constantly he is accused of having EVIL TENDENCIES. What? Because ONE TIME he betrayed them? And that betrayal was justified because he felt hella ineadequate?

But yeah, Guan. Go on. He is just silly to get all the punches for the team. It’s not like he isn’t bothered when the forces of evil are victorious.

Not at all.

1.2.3. Ok, I agree Rai is rebelious, but as I mentioned earlier - HE HAS REASONS to be that way. He feels something is wrong - he exclaims why this is wrong and tries to FIX IT with the help or without it. The thing is, in s1-2 prefers facing problems alone due to that inadequacy he’s often reminded of by his peers. It’s sad to see that monks never realised Raimundo feels that way. Luckily, in season 3 Rai grew as a character. He displays more and more leader characteristics. He comes up with better strategy and is ore connected to his friends. As a result their cooperation during fights is on a higher level, just like in the last showdown in that alternate timeline.

DARK, RUTHLESS, SHADY. - those are lies and I won’t comment on that

He can be ruthless only if someone hurts his family and friends. They’re gonna pay for that. Respect Rai for that.

2. My opinion on ‘ The Return of Master Monk Guan’

2.1. Guan’s behaviour - this post is about it. Just wanted to add he is very inconsistent as a character and writers probably had no idea how to write him so they just randomly threw him to some plot points in order to give episodes smooth flow between scenes.

But yeah in that particular ep Guan is a jerk. First kidnapping Dojo, then overworking children only to kick out the most responsible one outta his temple with numerous sculptures of him, Dashi and replicas of his fav spear.

2.2 Monks’ behaviour - wanted to help, turned out bad. Omi as always was questioning Rai’s value and laughed at him bc of his new nicknames. Very mature of the chosen one, really.

2.3 My review

This episode was good because:

1. It's rai-centered

2. He put to use that clever brain of his and gave master Guan the idea how to retrieve the most powerful wu from Bean

3. He can KICK ASS, only refuses to use that against his friends. 4. good preparation for cheeseball to reconsider he's NOT ALWAYS THE BEST and should be aware of Raimundo's skills

2.4. Summary

Raimundo Pedrosa has one of the best character developments in animation history but most importantly he is the complete opposite of those things the other characters tell him he is. He learns from his mistakes and utilises the knowledge for his benefit to protect what he believes is right. He’s very compassionate young man, who can do great things and he WILL with guidance of his temple family.

But most importantly, he well deserved the position of the Xiaolin Leader. His name is not Bobo. Only Raimundo Pedrosa. Good friend, leader, warrior, the future hope for making the world a better place.

#xiaolin showdown #s03e07 #the return of master monk guan #bobo rant #xs analysis #panda writes an analysis #raimundo pedrosa #in this blog we love raimundo pedrosa #master monk guan #guan #guan vs rai #omi #character analysis #raimundo character analysis #bobo #still thinking naming Rai bobo was xs crew's move done on purpose

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darling-i-read-it · 4 years ago

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Futamono

2x06

Hannibal Lecter x reader x Will Graham

Hannibal Re-Write Series Masterlist

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: spoilers for hannibal, murder, mental health problems, jail, sorta cheating? If not i’m walking a fine line

Author’s Note: This episode! It hit different. In particular there are a few scenes that I am very excited for you to read so reactions are greatly GREATLY appreciated because I love love reading them as they come. I really hope you enjoy! not gonna lie its hard to write something that might hurt will so i might just protect him through and through lol

I used some direct quotes from the script so some things may seem familiar

Official Episode Summary : A city councilman's body is found intertwined with a tree, Jack crashes Hannibal's dinner party to investigate Will's suspicions, and a revelation shocks everyone

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director

Tag List (is always open!) : @llperfectsymmetryll @ericacactus @vlightning95

(not my gif)

The Baltimore State Hospital was colder than usual. You felt it as you walked down the hallway to where Will was. You felt odd. Like your stomach was in knots and you never had that with Will. He never gave you that feeling.

As you stopped in front of the cell he turned around. He sat down, like he would usually when you were there. He kept note that you did not sit down on your white line, nor did you approach the bars. You weren’t scared of him, he knew you weren’t. But you didn’t look exactly happy with him either.

“Hi,” Will said, breaking a crackling loud silence.

“Hannibal Lecter is alive. In case you were wondering.”

“I was not,” he told you. You let out an annoyed sigh and looked down at the ground. You had thought about how to approach this with Will but every rehearsed conversation felt wrong. This didn't feel exactly right either.

“Will,” you whispered and met his eyes. He stared at you and you stared at him. You shared a few words with your eyes.

“Chilton will have a hard time figuring out this conversation,” he muttered and you cracked a small smile.

“You can’t send a man to kill Hannibal even if you think that he is the Ripper.” He raised a betrayed eyebrow.

“I didn’t send anyone to kill Hannibal. And are you saying he isn’t the Ripper? Did his kiss persuade you that much?”

You imagined Chilton hearing that over the speaker. Probably got popcorn to accompany this conversation for the dramatic guy he was.

“I still think he is.”

“And you have no problem with that?”

“Of course I have the problem with murder,” you breathed. You sat down on the white line finally and he was happy to see you at his eye level again. You stared at each other hard and he knew you knew that he sent someone to kill Hannibal. There was no need to say it. “This isn’t going to help you in the eyes of everyone,” you whispered.

“I’m not scared anymore,” he admitted. You mulled that over for a minute.

“I’m glad. I still don’t condone murder on either side.” Will smirked a bit, laughing.

“Actions speak better than words.”

“Jacks gonna come speak to you about this.”

“I can handle myself.”

“Oh I have no doubt. I’m just giving you a girlfriend worthy heads up so you could plan.”

You walked into Hannibal’s house with the spare key he had given you. You put your bag down quietly as you heard the sound of piano through the air. It calmed you immediately. Your emotional turmoil had been something else.

There was much confusion in your brain but really you were mostly worried about both of the men in your life while also being more worried about your dogs. You had to walk them tonight but you decided to stop by Hannibal’s to see how he was doing.

You walked into the main room and Hannibal continued to play. You listened quietly, leaning against the wall. Eventually he stopped to put something else in his composition. You walked up to him and put your hands on his sweater clad shoulders. He smiled, not having to turn around to know it was you.

“That was beautiful,” you whispered. You wrapped your arms around his neck from behind and looked over the composition like you understood it.

“It’s proving to be more difficult than I was hoping,” he said honestly. He grabbed your hand and pulled you down to sit beside him. You did so.

“How are you feeling?” you asked quietly. He shrugged, writing in another note before turning to you.

“I feel as though that noose were still around my neck. It’s strange to have nightmares. Never used to,” he whispered. You nodded solemnly. You understood that better than most.

“You’re always welcome to call the house if you need something,” you said quietly and honestly. Your nightmares hadn’t gotten much better but you were trying to pull through at the house by yourself. Still, knowing Hannibal was there had made you feel better.

“Thank you,” he whispered back to you. You looked at the piano and then back at Hannibal. He stared at you. “I can no longer work with Jack. Or Will.” You were surprised to hear that. Then again, you should have expected it. Almost dying can do that to a person.

“What does that mean?” you whispered.

“I won’t be consulting on any cases with Jack. You’re welcome to continue to work for me and be my…” he paused, “friend but I can no longer assume that I can help Will. I can’t trust him. He’s in a dark place where the shadows move. It’s not safe to stand with him anymore.”

You looked away from Hannibal and at the wall in front of you as you processed what you were being told.

“I hope you understand that I care about you Hannibal,” you whispered, turning to him. “But I will continue to see Will.” He nodded.

“I understand.” You weren’t sure where you stood with him then.

“Play it again,” you told him, voice barely audible.

He put his hands on the keys and you imagined those hands taking a life.

It wasn’t much of a stretch.

Alana walked beside you as you walked the dogs. It was nice to be around them. It was almost like Will was with you at the same time. You were walking through the barren land around the house and she accompanied you upon your request.

“My head is full of conspiracies. There are too many versions of events. He said. She said. He said. He said. She said. It’s maddening,” Alana told you, shoving her hands in her jacket pockets. “The one thing I have clarity on is, Will tried to kill Hannibal.”

You glanced at her.

“He believes that’s the only way to catch the Ripper.”

“And you think the same thing? I notice how you’ve gotten closer with Hannibal.” You shrugged, still sore from the last conversation you had with the man.

“Jealous?” you teased.

“You’re avoiding the question,” she whispered. “And no.”

“I think that Hannibal is more capable of senseless murder than Will. They’re both capable of murder. Will has never lied to me.” You paused. “He only lies to me when he knows I can see through him.” You turned to Alana and stopped walking. She stared back at you. “And you? Where do you stand?”

“I haven’t given up on Will. Just re-evaluating who I think he’s become.” You glanced at her.

“Will has always been this way. He just didn’t like to show it.”

“I feel like I’ve been watching our friendship on a split screen. The friendship I perceived on one side and the truth on the other,” Hannibal said. Will sat in his cage and stared at his former therapist. They stared at each other with a sense of competitiveness and a mix of entertainment.

“It’s a terrible feeling isn’t it?” Will asked, numbly but with a stab at Hannibal.

“You’ve been lying to me, Will.”

“I don’t have a gauge for reality that works well enough to know if I’ve been lying or not,” Will said simply. Hannibal had a sense Will had him right where he wanted him. It was impressive.

“You understand the reality of Beverly Katz’s death. You understand your role in that.”

“What was my role?”

“Beverly died at your behest. You’re as angry with yourself as you are with whoever murdered her.” Will didn’t show much emotion but spite.

“Actually, I’m not. I’m singularly angry at whoever murdered her.”

“You tried to kill me, Will. It’s hard not to take that personally. However, if I were Beverly’s murderer, I’d applaud your effort,” Hannibal said. They shared a look.

“I’m no more guilty of what you’ve accused me of than you are of what I have accused you of,” he stated simply.

“Jack Crawford, Alana Bloom and Y/N Y/L/N believe you are responsible,” Hannibal stated.

“Or Y/N Graham as the people say,” Will said simply. Hannibal fought his amusing anger. “And where does responsibility begin and end, Dr. Lecter? With a final act or the events that led to it?” Will asked.

“I don’t expect you to feel self-loathing or regret or shame. You knew what you were doing and you made your own decisions. Decisions that were under your control.” Will scoffed.

“You think I’m in control?” Will asked. “Where does Y/N stand with you Dr. Lecter?” Will stared hard. “Are you still actively pursuing her? Are you pursuing me? Or perhaps the fact that she’s still dating the man who allegedly tried to have you murdered is putting a dent in your plans.” Hannibal put his hand on his arm, holding it. The two men stared at each other, not as men competing for a woman's love but as men who were toying with the idea that there was a connection they weren’t going to sever. Hannibal hoped to cut that link despite the fact he knew it wouldn’t work.

“We were friends before I met you and I imagine we’ll be friends after we part ways.” Will smiled in arrogance of the knowledge you would likely do anything for him.

“Well I’ll be curious to see how that works out for you. She’ll tell me at her weekly visits.” Hannibal raised his chin and hardened his look.

“Good-bye Will.”

Will was not amused.

As Hannibal walked to his car he opened his phone. He dialed the top number on his phone.

“Hello,” you said, sounding distracted. “Sorry, feeding the dogs.”

“I’m throwing a dinner party tonight. You’re attending I hope.” You hummed a yes.

“Of course.” Hannibal smiled.

“I’m glad.”

Hannibal put his hand on your hair and fixed a piece that was out of place. You both held champagne glasses in your hands and were talking to some of his colleagues. You had been complimented on your look seven times already, twice by Hannibal.

You had yet to touch the food. You believed Will there.

Jack and Chilton spoke, watching the two of you chat.

“Prosciutto roses. Heart tartare. Beed roulade. Needless to say, I won’t be eating the food,” Chilton said.

“Dr. Chilton,” Jack chastised.

“Hannibal the Cannibal That’s what they’ll call him you know. And look at Mrs. Graham. Curiously enough I have no idea what her angle is.” Jack nodded.

“She’s always been a bit confusing.”

You laughed at something a guest was saying as Hannibal laughed about it. You were barely listening.

“I didn’t know you had a lady friend Hannibal. Are you Mrs. Lecter?” one of the ladies said. You paused which made Hannibal laugh. You hadn’t been prepared for that.

“No, I’m...we aren’t together,” you said simply although your voice didn’t sound very convincing. Jack grabbed your arm and you turned to him, surprised. “Please excuse me.”

He pulled you aside.

“Have you eaten something?” he asked. You shook your head.

“Amazing you think I don’t listen to my own boyfriend.” You stared at Chilton and shook your head. “No, I have not.”

“I’m...I can’t believe I’m telling you this... I’m listening to Will,” he said. Your mouth flew open.

“Wait a second, you can listen? You can listen to people?” you asked sarcastically. Jack gave you a look.

“I’m telling you, just in case.” You nodded and Hannibal walked over.

“Jack, I’m happy you’re here. In many ways, you are the guest of honor. You saved my life, after all,” Hannibal said, putting his hand on the small of your back. You didn’t move it. Jack made note.

“I’m afraid I can’t stay. But I’d like to take some food to go.”

You stared at him and he stared back.

Maybe Jack did listen after all.

You sat at the piano by yourself after the dinner party. You put your fingers on the keys and started to play the only thing you knew by heart.

Chopsticks.

Hannibal walked over and sat beside you.

“The ending to my composition has been alluding me. You may have solved my problem with Chopsticks,” he said laughing. He put his fingers on the keys and played a background to the simple tune you carried.

“If only all our problems could be solved with a simple waltz,” you said honestly. Hannibal didn’t look at you.

“I’ve walked away from Will, but I’m still trailing his accusations that you believe,” he told you.

“Alana has also walked away. You’ve both continued to make eventual fools of yourself,” you said simply, pushing a key down loudly before meeting Hannibal’s eyes.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because I believe him. You know that.” Hannibal turned to you and you stared at him. Silence ensued the Lecter household. You broke the quiet.

“Would you like to stay the night?” he asked.

“Hannibal Lecter, I’m not that kind of girl,” you said laughing a bit. “But yes. I would.” You turned to him quietly and stood up, holding your hand to him. He took it and the two of you walked to his bedroom where you tossed a shirt from his dresser at him while taking one for yourself. You got dressed facing away from each other and then got into bed.

You stared at each other, hair pressed against the pillows.

“Goodnight Hannibal,” you whispered.

“Goodnight Y/N.”

You nuzzled your head into the pillow and he leaned forward. He kissed you and this time you let him. You brought your hand to his cheek and he leaned over you. His hands caressed your hair.

You pulled away after a moment.

“I’m not that kind of girl,” you whispered back at him again. His lips were still practically touching yours as he spoke.

“I know you aren’t.”

He leaned back into his side of the bed.

“If Alana Bloom had stayed behind, this would be a different story.” Your mouth dropped open and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Wow, I’m sorry should I call her?” you asked, laughing. He shook his head.

“I prefer you. You help with nightmares.”

“It’s my magic power.”

Both of you thought about Will.

You moved forward and Hannibal wrapped an arm around your shoulder, your head on his chest. You both fell asleep to even breathing and a peaceful room.

You woke up, your head nuzzled into a pillow. You opened your eyes slowly and met the face of Hannibal Lecter. You had expected to see Will. Despite that disappointment you smiled at the fact that for the first time since the murder, you had a dreamless sleep.

“Peaceful sleep?” you asked. Hannibal opened his eyes, stopping from pretending to sleep.

“Yes. You?”

“No nightmares. Not even a dream,” you said dreamily. “Perhaps you have a superpower too.” The bell rang and you both looked up startled.

“The last person who rang my doorbell this early was you,” he admitted. “And it clearly isn’t you.”

He slid out of bed and put on a robe before walking to the front door. You walked to the bathroom, finding one of the old robes in there. You walked down the hallway, the sound of Hannibal's voice echoing.

“Here. All night,” Hannibal said. You rubbed your eyes.

“Anyone beside you can verify that?” You walked in without thinking, not even registering the voice as Jacks until it was too late.

“She can,” Hannibal said simply. His face flashed surprise but he tamped it quickly.

“This isn’t what it looks like,” you said but Jack shook his head.

“All I need to know is if you were here all night.” You glanced between the two and nodded simply.

“He was here all night. We both were.” You glanced at Hannibal. “I’m gonna go,” you said quietly and he nodded solemnly. You turned around but you felt four eyes on you and you weren’t sure how you felt about it.

You walked into your home. It still smelled like Will. Maybe Will smelled like the house. You couldn’t quite distinguish it. The dogs pooled around your feet and you pet them, glad you were back early enough to where their food schedule wouldn’t be off at all.

You fed each of them and they walked around the bowls together.

You walked to the made bed and felt guilt rise in your chest. It didn’t feel like you had cheated on Will. He knew Hannibal was pursuing you. You knew Hannibal was almost in a backwards way pursuing Will.

But still as you sat on the bed you grabbed Will’s blanket you got him for Christmas and held it to your chest. He would be back. He would sleep beside you again.

Even if you were mad at him you loved him to pieces.

You imagined you always would.

You wanted to go see him. You got up to do so when the phone rang. You picked it up on the second ring after noticing it was Jack.

“Hello?” You were nervous he was gonna bring up the morning you had had.

“I got the results of a murder that happened a few days ago. And Will didn’t kill any of the people we thought he did.” You wanted to make a sarcastic quip because duh but you just sat back down on the bed. It felt so nice to hear Jack say what you knew in your heart. You grabbed Will’s blanket with your hand without looking at it.

“Yeah?” you whispered.

He was silent as you assumed he prepped to tell you that you were right all along.

“We’ve found four lures that are almost identical to the ones we found at your house, made with materials from the exact human remains. There was no copycat. It was always the Ripper.” He paused again. “Will and you were right.”

You let out a shaky sigh and smiled widely.

“No shit,” you muttered and Jack had the heart to laugh.

“I’ll call you with the details later.” He hung up the phone and you sat on your bed and you let a few laughs of happiness out mixed with some tears of happiness.

The dogs came to you and you pet them each individually. You spoke to them in a happy tone.

“I think dads coming home.”

2x07

#hannibal lecter x reader #will graham x reader #will graham imagines #hannibal lecter imagines #hannibal lecter x reader x will graham #will graham x reader x hannibal lecter

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sunlitroom · 5 years ago

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Hi! For the ship chart - Gobblepot, Wayleska, BatCat, Nygmakins

Thanks for asking, anon :)

Well, I like all of these :D But to elaborate. And by elaborate, I mean - write a massive essay, because I’ve been in lockdown for over a month now.

Gobblepot - The best OTP of all OTPs

I’ve written a ton of meta (how unfashionable of me) and had conversations with very clever people about Gotham’s writing. It has its flaws - as does everything - but when it does things well, it does them well. Jim and Oswald are paralleled from beginning to end. Even when they’re not technically sharing a story - it’s made clear that these people are connected. Prisoners offered a good example of that, which I recapped here

Jim and Oswald’s connection is made clear right at the beginning - we start off with their story. Jim’s freshly arrived in town, full of big ideas and hopes. He has a shiny new job and a beautiful fiance. Oswald doesn’t seem to have the same external trappings of growth and success - but he’s planted several seeds in the hope they’ll come to fruition later.

It’s interesting to see how reckless and brazen they both are in season one, too. They both stare down the barrel of a gun at points, and practically swagger up to certain people and dare them to kill them. They both retain their impulse to thumb their noses at authority, and do downright dangerous things - but they become increasingly less blithe about it over the seasons as their respective trauma accumulates. There’s a joy in it at the outset, more of a desperate grimness as we go on.

We also get to see their vulnerabilities. There’s little hints early on that there’s more underneath. Jim might look like the invulnerable golden boy but - to quote a line from Silence of the Lambs - his face is all scars, if you know how to look. Look at his immediate bond with the bereaved Bruce, because Jim saw his father die at the same age. Look at Jim’s reaction when Loeb comments about not following in his father’s footsteps. Look how quickly his relationship with Barbara falls apart - in fact, just look at it in the first place.

Oswald’s vulnerabilites are more and less obvious. He’s the Other to Jim’s all-American hero. He’s flung about all over the place in season one - tiny-looking in comparison to the likes of Falcone and Maroni. He’s left with a permanent limp after Fish’s beating. Less obviously, we see that he’s strongly motivated by his need to make his mother happy, and that the notion of causing her shame hurts him to the point of tears.

All that kind of stuff, all the careful details, built slowly, really make it for me. They’re built on later - in many ways they’re very different, but in others, very similar.

This difference/similarity plays out in their encounters, too. They’re oddly fascinated by each other. Oswald’s attraction is made very apparent from the outset . Yes - Jim might be another piece on the chessboard (albeit one he won’t sacrifice) - but he blushes and stares and lights up when Jim appears. Even later, when all the hurts and wrongs between them have mounted up, he still can’t quite resist gazing.

Jim’s a combination of uneasy but fascinated in Oswald’s company. The early scene in the alley pinpoints it so well - the moment right after this one:

Oswald - who is adept at reading people (in season one, anyway) grins - because Jim is rapt. He has his whole attention. To steal a line from Hannibal this time. he watched the red sparks pinwheel deep in his eyes and felt the excitement of a child approaching a distant fair. Although, in this case - it’s all more illicit and scary. Jim knows he shouldn’t go to this fair, and this fair is a dangerous place.

And that odd fascination never really goes away. Even at points when Jim is angered or revolted by Oswald’s actions - he’s never repulsed. He’s more likely to shake him than turn his back on him.

This dynamic might morph a bit, depending on circumstance - but Jim always stands too close, stares too long, likes to tease, and is quick to head in Oswald’s direction when the chips are down.

A last point. Something else I enjoy is that they know the best and worst of each other, and seem to have an endless capacity for forgiveness.

Wayleska - sort of an OTP? I do find it a heartbreaker of a ship.

Pre-gas Jeremiah is so instantly smitten with Bruce. That first interaction and he’s completely gone. I’m posting the gifs again because they’re glorious. I know they’re all different sizes, but meh.

What makes it all so painful is that you can see - post-gas - this is still there. He’s still head-over-heels, and there’s slivers of awareness there. But the gas has twisted everything, and you can see part of him is mortified and pained at how this is all playing out.

Especially here, in these next gifs. Even the big showy gesture is laced with pain, and afterwards just seals it

Given his secretive and hidden-away past, you could probably hazard a guess that this is the first time Jeremiah has been in love. On top of that, he seems reserved and restrained by nature. And here he is - being forced to reveal his feelings like this.

On saying all that, I loved what I saw in show - but maybe prefer it as a pairing in fics. Bruce - for me, anyway - doesn’t seem mature enough to deal with the intensity of Jeremiah’s feeling - pre and post-gas. Maybe when he’s a little older, it’s something he could at least take in and process, but it seems a little one-sided in show just because Bruce doesn’t really seem to recognise what’s happening, let alone parry it.

The only point where you could argue that he was aware, and that there’s feelings there, I think, is the fact that he’s so angry at Jeremiah. With Jerome, Bruce almost felt responsible for his actions, and does what he can to mitigate them. But with Jeremiah, Bruce refuses to even tell him that they have a connection in order to save people’s lives. His anger and obstinacy feels more visceral and - if I prod it - looks like hurt and betrayal. Bruce saw Jeremiah, at least, as a friend. His reaction to the loss of that seems a bit disproportionate - so maybe there are nascent feelings there?

But generally. yes, better in fic where the writer can take more license and time with Bruce.

BatCat - It’s not an OTP - but it’s sweet and I like it? I’m not so mad keen about how forgetful Alfred and Bruce can sometimes be of Selina in earlier seasons, and sometime tone-deaf at points later - but yes, it’s nice.

Nygmakins - I like this. It’s maybe not an OTP - but I ship it. The foundations aren’t quite as extensive as with Gobblepot - but they’re there. They’re both seemingly sweet-natured, sciencey and fascinated with the darker side of life. Very early on, we know they have interactions that we don’t see. Lee apparently allows Ed to use the lab and exam room when he wants, and he dreamily remarks that she smells nice.

Later, we see more similarity as their duality becomes more apparent, and their shared taste for violence, darkness and power. Lee enjoys the applause of the crowds in the Narrows just as much as Ed enjoys the audience adulation for his ‘gameshow’. Lee’s revenge on Sofia is as protracted and merciless as Ed’s on Oswald.

Last up - they both have a desire to be entirely seen, which is something they seem to find in each other.

Thanks for the ask, anon. I fire the same pairings back at you, if you feel like answering :)

#Anonymous #ask #shipping

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eatingthem-moved · 5 years ago

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Roleplaying Profile Meme: PLEASE REPOST, DO NOT REBLOG!

Feel free to add to any of your answers! The purpose is to tell your partners about the way you write! For the multiple-choice ones, BOLD all that apply and, if you want, italicize if it’s a conditional answer!

– B A S I C S –

NAME : Chariot ARE YOU OVER 18? Yes / No (i am exactly 18) IS YOUR MUSE? Yes / No

ARE YOU SELECTIVE ABOUT WHO YOU WRITE WITH ON THIS BLOG? No / Semi / Yes / Highly / Private

I only rp/respond to with mutuals and i can be picky with who i follow

ARE YOU SELECTIVE ABOUT WHO YOU FOLLOW ON THIS BLOG? No/ Semi / Yes / Highly

IF YOUR MUSE IS CANON, HOW MUCH TO YOU ADHERE TO CANON? Not at all / A little / Somewhat / Mostly / Strictly / (OC)

i diverge a lot after s2

WHAT POST LENGTHS DO YOU WRITE? One Liners / Single-Para / Multi-Para / Novella

DO YOU USE ICONS AND/OR GIFS? No / Gifs / Icons / Gifcons

DO YOU WRITE ON OTHER PLATFORMS? No / Yes (discord)

WHAT LEVEL OF PLOTS DO YOU WRITE? Unplotted / Open-Ended Plots / Semi-Plotted / Fully Plotted Epics

completely unplotted stuff is hard for me cause im kinda uncreative with coming up with interactions and scenarios on the spot. but i’m not totally closed to it

HOW QUICKLY DO YOU USUALLY RESPOND TO THREADS? Very Slow / Slow (3-4 Weeks) / Average (1-2 Weeks) / Fast (Less Than One Week) / Very Fast (Less Than Three Days)

i try to respond to things in the order they came in because i don’t like people feeling like im ignoring them! so i try to be fair, which makes me a little slower. im also just lazy sometimes lol and it also takes me a lot of effort to sit down and just WRITE

WHAT TYPES OF THEMES DO YOU LIKE? (feel free to add!) Fluff / Angst / Smut / Action / Tragedy / Domestic / Family / Conversational / Hurt-Comfort

oh hell yea

WHAT GENRES DO YOU LIKE? (feel free to add!) High Fantasy / Supernatural / Science Fiction / Historical!! / Horror!!!!! / Comedy / Romance / Drama / Action / Adventure / Espionage / Crime

i have a hard time with supernatural and science fiction but if it’s pretty plotted out i’d have an easier time!!

ARE THERE ANY THEMES YOU’RE UNCOMFORTABLE WRITING ON YOUR BLOG? No / Yes

DO YOU HAVE ANY TRIGGERS? HOW DO YOU REQUEST IT TAGGED? No / Yes

– S H I P P I N G –

WHAT TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS ARE YOU OPEN TO? Romantic / Platonic / Familial / Physical / Sexual

WHAT TYPES OF PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS ARE YOU OPEN TO? Romantic / Platonic / Familial / Physical / Sexual

We need to first plot a little bit before i can do something pre established

DO YOU HAVE OTPS? No / Chemistry only / Yes

hannibal/will forever ! and hannibal/lady murasaki (but he kinda fucked that up lmao) and then if hannibal ever gets to shipping levels with others ;m;

DO YOU HAVE NOTPS? No / Yes / I don’t know yet

hannibal/alana besides from being friends/having sex with each other. hannibal didn’t love her and it’s unlikely i would write a romantic relationship between them.

WHAT IS YOUR MUSE’S SEXUAL ORIENTATION? - Heterosexual / Heteroflexible / Bisexual / Homoflexible / Homosexual / Pansexual / Demisexual / Sapiosexual / Asexual / Questioning

honestly hannibal doesn’t label himself. he’s only LOVED (romantically) two people in his life, will and murasaki. he likes having sex! but he doesn’t YEARN for people, really, until he really really feels a strong connection with them.

WHAT IS YOUR MUSE’S ROMANTIC ORIENTATION? - Heteroromantic / Heteroflexible / Biromantic / Homoflexible / Homoromantic / Panromantic / Demiromantic / Grayromanitc / Sapioromantic / Aromantic / Polyamorous / Questioning

ARE YOU COMFORTABLE WRITING SMUT? No / Selectively / Yes

i’d like it if we’re friendly ooc and then im also not sure if i’ll be writing smut on here or on discord when it gets to it :shrug:

HOW EARLY IN A RELATIONSHIP DO YOU SHIP ROMANTICALLY? Autoship / During Plotting / After A Couple IC Interactions / Several IC Interactions / Slow Burn / Depends on partner & muse

IT REALLY DEPENDS LOL. cause i could be plotting with someone and i’ll be like “would u..... want to.... have them.... be... shippy ?” and then other times i prefer a lot of ic interaction before they get shippy.

ARE YOU OPEN TO TOXIC SHIPS? No / Selectively / Yes

any ship with hannibal is going to be toxic

ARE YOU OPEN TO PROBLEMATIC SHIPS? (canon history, age difference, complicated, etc.) No / Selectively / Yes

GIMME ANGST

ARE YOU OPEN TO POLYSHIPPING? No / Selectively / Yes

y...yess ;m;

ARE YOU AN EXCLUSIVE SHIPPER? No / Sometimes / Yes

DOES CRACK SHIPPING EVER HAPPEN? No / Sometimes / Yes

DOES CROSSOVER SHIPPING EVER HAPPEN? No / Yes / Depends

Tagged by: i don’t remember cause i just stick these in my drafts as soon as im tagged in them but THANK UUUU <33 Tagging: EVERYONE

#long post #here's my munday thing!#o ( 🔪 wut in cannibalization )#( 🔪 munday )

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cummunication · 5 years ago

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Are you Dating a Sociopath?

1 in 25. Research indicates that’s how many people are diagnosable sociopaths. When it comes to psychopaths, (luckily) the number is higher… 1 in 100. But let’s not get them confused. “Sociopaths are often called psychopaths and vice versa but there are differences between a psychopath and a sociopath. … And while sociopaths and psychopaths do share some traits, sociopathy (antisocial personality disorder) is generally considered less severe than psychopathy.” For example, a sociopath might be someone who takes advantage of others for money, fame, sex etc. while a psychopath is more likely to be a serial killer and commit mass murders. You can go your entire life without anyone knowing you’re a sociopath while psychopaths are the people more likely to commit severe crimes and end up in jail.

Antisocial personality disorder is the diagnosis in which sociopathy and psychopathy fall (cluster B) and it has been on the rise over the years. If you’re swiping daily on tinder, how many people do you pass each day? (I wouldn’t know because I’m not on the app but I suspect a decent amount). Let’s say you swipe 25 times each day. That means over the span of one week you have passed roughly 7 sociopaths. This can be alarming whilst dating because sociopaths don’t look like Hannibal Lecter and you can’t tell someone is mentally ill by looking at them. Sociopath’s actually tend to be extremely alluring and charismatic. It’s no surprise you may end up falling for one and not find out until it’s “too late”. So what are signs to look out for? Could you actually be dating a sociopath? Let’s learn more.

“When you’re in love, it’s easy to gloss over some of your partner’s less flattering traits. But if your gut tells you something might really be off with this person, don’t write off those feelings ― especially if you suspect they could be a sociopath. Sociopaths don’t look like the Joker and show up cackling and howling and ready to manipulate They’re not always so easy to recognize. They can appear to be the guy next door. And until you get to know them, you wouldn’t necessarily know they are sociopaths. So what is a sociopath exactly? Characteristics include a persistent disregard for right and wrong, a tendency to lie and manipulate others, a lack of empathy and remorse, emotional volatility, an inflated ego, and engaging in impulsive and irresponsible behavior. And though the label is frequently used in the media and pop culture, it’s not actually a clinical term. The closest clinical diagnosis would be antisocial personality disorder, which is characterized by a pattern of disregarding or violating social norms, laws and the rights of others without remorse ― not being a loner, as the name might suggest. It’s estimated that roughly 3 percent of men and 1 percent of women meet the criteria for antisocial personality disorder. It’s worth noting that some experts prefer to use the term “psychopath” instead. Some use sociopath and psychopath interchangeably to describe a person with a more extreme case of antisocial personality disorder. Others, contend sociopaths and psychopaths are similar, but differ in some key ways ― for example, sociopaths lack empathy but are capable of it, while psychopaths are incapable of it altogether.” If you frequent my blog you are well aware I was in a life-threatening relationship several years ago. Although my ex never sought professional help (as many sociopaths don’t) I would bet my life on him being a sociopath. Since I am not a licensed professional, I can not technically diagnose him but like I said, I’d bet my life on it. I’ve also had my mental health professionals refer to him having a personality disorder… narcissistic, borderline as well as sociopathy. In the beginning, he was beyond everything I could’ve asked for. Little did I know what was to come or who he was behind the mask. If only I’d known what to lookout for I might’ve saved myself years of misery. So due to my own experiences I’m here to help you. Here are some of the most prevalent, common warning signs you or a loved one may be in a dangerous relationship with a sociopath. “RED FLAG #1. Having an over-sized ego. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V) notes that sociopaths have an inflated sense of self. They are narcissists to the extreme, with a huge sense of entitlement. They tend to blame others for their own failures. They prey on your good qualities. People with sociopathic tendencies are accustomed to lying, so it’s not as hard for them to fake feelings. Some sociopaths are skilled at pretending they’re wounded and hurt. Sometimes a sociopath will target a woman because she’s big-hearted and maternal and vulnerable to wanting to care for someone who’s been emotionally hurt.” RED FLAG #2. Lying and exhibiting manipulative behavior. Sociopaths use deceit and manipulation on a regular basis. Why? Lying for the sake of lying. Lying just to see whether you can trick people. And sometimes telling larger lies to get larger effects. Their professions of love feel false and hollow. They often will say things like, ‘You’re the girl I’ve always wanted.“ Or, ‘I couldn’t be luckier to find someone like you.’ Sort of pat, trope, cliche expressions, as if they heard that in a movie and they’re merely repeating it. Their professions of love and caring do not feel genuine. Something about it feels off. They do not feel emotions in the same way that regular people do. What they do is see others express emotions in real life or on TV and then they mimic them.” My ex-boyfriend once dropped off a note on my car while we had been broken up and I had gone no contact for several weeks. What first appeared as a heartfelt, long, love letter, I later found out he copied off the internet. Of course he claimed to have created this beautiful poem himself but I guess he forgot the internet is a thing and how easy it would be to access the lyrics. Needless to say, it didn’t mean much after I found out it was copyrighted. “RED FLAG #3. Exhibiting lack of empathy. They don’t really have the meaningful emotional inner worlds that most people have and perhaps because of that they can’t really imagine or feel the emotional worlds of other people. It’s very foreign to them. They treat you or others with contempt and cruelty. You might also want to observe not just how they treat you, but how they treat other people in the room. Sometimes you’ll catch them behaving heartlessly to someone when they don’t know you’re watching. RED FLAG #4. Showing a lack of remorse or shame. The DSM-V entry on antisocial personality disorder indicates that sociopaths lack remorse, guilt or shame. They have volatile mood swings. This person might have unexpected, unstable and abrupt mood swings. You say something and suddenly they go into rage. A sociopath likes to control and manipulate. So if they thought their ability to control was being threatened, that might send them into a tizzy. RED FLAG #5. Staying eerily calm in scary or dangerous situations. A sociopath might not be anxious following a car accident, for instance. Experiments have shown that while normal people show fear when they see disturbing images or are threatened with electric shocks, sociopaths tend not to.” This is due to a difference in biology. FMRI scans show people with antisocial personality disorder have a different sized amygdala than someone without. This physiological difference may explain their constant need for stimulation as the amygdala also known as the “fight or flight” part of the brain, is in charge of emotions such as fear; which sociopath’s display less of. “RED FLAG #6. Behaving irresponsibly or with extreme impulsivity. Sociopaths bounce from goal to goal, and act on the spur of the moment, according to the DSM. They can be irresponsible when it comes to their finances and their obligations to other people. They may have a criminal past and refuse to take any responsibility for those misdeeds. Particularly if they tell you there was a criminal past but say, ‘It’s not my fault. They just did it to me. I happened to be in the wrong place and I was blamed.” Side note - My ex happened to say the same exact thing when he was convicted of a felony. According to him, however, nothing was ever his fault. “They’re constantly making messes you’re left to clean up. There would be regular crises in your life related to money going missing, or other relationships with family or friends breaking down, this is because the psychopath prioritizes his or her needs and enjoys risk-taking and sensation-seeking behavior. You would be left to clean up the mess. RED FLAG #10. Showing disregard for societal norms. They break rules and laws because they don’t believe society’s rules apply to them.” My ex boyfriend would smoke cigarettes inside of public restaurants, and whip out his penis in the middle of a family park. He would also frequently disregard traffic signs and make safety violations while driving. I’m not sure if he did this to be funny, to scare me, or because he felt he was above the law. Perhaps it was a mixture of all three. “They are also extremely controlling. You begin to detect that your partner is excessively controlling, dictating when, where, what time and under what circumstances you’re going to get together. They attempt to manipulate your behavior and control who your friends are and your activities. RED FLAG #7. Having few friends. Sociopaths tend not to have friends—not real ones, anyway. Sociopaths don’t want friends, unless they need them. Or all of their friends are superficially connected with them, friends by association. They don’t have many friends or close relationships. The individual is very, very evasive about their personal life and details of past relationships and very overly guarded and evasive. And if they get irritated when you probe them about it, that could be a bad sign. RED FLAG #8. Being charming—but only superficially. Sociopaths can be very charismatic and friendly — because they know it will help them get what they want. They are expert con artists and always have a secret agenda. People are so amazed when they find that someone is a sociopath because they’re so amazingly effective at blending in. They’re masters of disguise. Their main tool to keep them from being discovered is a creation of an outer personality. They seem too good to be true. They are that man or woman at a club or at a bar who just seems to be paying you too much attention and is too solicitous. However, you quite like the attention. That’s the thing about psychopaths: They can at first be fun to be around, and so you get drawn in. They need to do this, as they are later going to use you and all the information that they have extracted from you during this courting phase. They establish a closeness only in as much as it is useful to them. There’s something glib about their charm. There’s no depth to it. It can be turned on and off. RED FLAG #9. Living by the “pleasure principle. If it feels good and they are able to avoid consequences, they will do it! They live their life in the fast lane — to the extreme — seeking stimulation, excitement and pleasure from wherever they can get it. RED FLAG #11. Having “intense” eyes. Sociopaths have no problem with maintaining uninterrupted eye contact. failure to look away politely is also perceived as being aggressive or seductive.” I’d like to add, even if your partner does in fact, have many or all these characteristics, if you are indeed in a relationship with a sociopath you might dismiss them and brush it off as being “all in your head”. This is due to something called “gas-lighting” which is a manipulative tactic sociopaths use to make you believe you’re crazy. That’s why it can be so difficult to end a relationship with a toxic person. I’d like to reassure you if you suspect something is up with your significant other, you’re probably right. Especially if you spend a decent amount of time researching “am I in an abusive relationship” or look up videos on sociopaths. They’re very good at making you doubt yourself so you don’t leave them. I’d suggest listening to your intuition. Your instincts are there it just becomes harder to recognize while dating a dysfunctional person who abuses you. I hope this helped in even the slightest way. Feel free to reach out with any further questions or comments. Help is available and you are not alone. Contact the national domestic violence hotline for more information/resources.

#sociopath #sociopaths #clusterb #abuse #domestic abuse #domestic violence #mental abuse #emotional abuse #verbal abuse #dating #dating advice #relationship #relationships #redflags

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questionablygourmet · 5 years ago

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Rewatch meta: Family Values (Potage, Oeuf, & Coquilles)

This is the second of what is intended to be a series of analytical posts based on what sticks out to me as I do a close rewatch of the show, roughly 1-3 episodes at a time. Check my Rewatch meta series tag for more installments.

Family is a theme I expect to return to as this series progresses, as the show returns to heavily exploring it again at points in seasons 2 and 3, culminating, of course, with Will’s eventual full acceptance of Hannibal’s assertion that they are family to each other. Episodes 0103-0105 are where this theme is first introduced, and explored in different ways through each of the three episodes (which we’ll depart from to jump headlong into the Abel Gideon arc starting with 0106).

In these three episodes, I see three familial sub-themes, all of which will be revisited and intensified in later seasons.

Folie en famille (or, as Alana says, folie à deux)

"One cannot be delusional if the belief is accepted as ordinary by others in that person's culture or subculture. Or family,” says Hannibal, in counterpoint to Alana’s response to Abigail’s question of whether you can “catch somebody’s crazy.”

Abigail asks this, and Alana essentially says yes, that’s a thing (which immediately raises the specter of Garret Jacob Hobbs for Will, due to his struggles with intrusive thoughts related to the murderers he profiles), but what Hannibal says is a partial rebuttal - it is an essential aspect of his character that he gets to write his own rules, mold his reality into what he wants it to be. It’s hard to make definite statements about the specificity of his intent this early in the show, but even if he’s not actively trying to lay the mental groundwork for the Murder Family dynamic he ends up seeking, his statement here is highly of a piece with that!

Alana’s introduction of the concept of folie à deux here will also be revisited in season 2/early season 3 as applied by her (...and Jack, and Freddie…) to Will and Hannibal.

Found family

“Feeling paternal, Will?”

“Aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

While Will’s penchant for collecting strays has already been discussed in connection to responsibility he feels toward Abigail, this is the first explicit suggestion of the idea that Will and Hannibal might be parents to Abigail together (a different, more complex dynamic than simply caring for a pack of strays). Will is uncomfortable with this idea in season 1 because of his lingering connection to the memory of Garret Jacob Hobbs, then bitter as he gets closer to Hannibal in season 2, as he doesn’t think it’s a possibility anymore. Then in season 3, he’ll have a short time with a “ready-made” family in Molly and Walter that he is comfortable with (before that comfort gets shattered by the Dragon), before finally, fully accepting his familial bond with Hannibal.

The theme of found family in this episode, “Oeuf,” is mirrored with dark irony in the BAU’s current case - the Lost Boys, who are kidnapped and then groomed to murder their families so that they can be a “real family” together. (And when you consider fandom’s favorite moniker for Abigail Lives AUs - “Murder Family” - this irony gets even deeper!) On the one hand we see what looks like the organic formation of a reasonably healthy (if one discounts what we know about Hannibal :P), or at least reasonably positive familial dynamic; on the other, we see kids who have been kidnapped and coerced into traumatically and permanently severing themselves from their former lives.

But it isn’t really an “on the other hand” thing, ultimately - Will + Team Sassy Science discuss the phenomenon of captive bonding in the context of the Lost Boys case, and that will eventually be directly applicable to Abigail’s relationship with Hannibal. Despite her deep instinctive discomfort with the idea of killing - not even necessarily killing people, as demonstrated in the hunting flashback in Potage - we’ll see her acceptance of Hannibal (and leaning in on the morbid humor, because that pleases him) once she knows the truth about him, because what other option does she have?

Love isn’t enough

In “Coquilles,” our killer of the week is the Angel Maker, Elliot Budish, mirroring the underlying cause of marital tension between Jack and Bella: Bella’s emotional withdrawal as a result of her cancer diagnosis (or more precisely, as a result of her decision to hide it from Jack).

“I appreciate that, Jack. I do. But I’m not comforted by it.”

Budish’s wife’s love for him wasn’t enough to prevent her from trying to shelter herself and their children from an increasingly erratic, frightening husband/father, and Jack and Bella’s love for one another can’t cure her cancer, nor can it negate the emotional strain it injects into their relationship (though they are able to be less distant after their confrontation in this episode). Jack needs to feel like a source of comfort and hope to Bella, but as she says, he can’t be, and that’s hurtful to both of them. In later episodes, it is implied that she accepts chemotherapy and a lingering death not because he was able to help her find hope, but because she is pressured by his need to see her “try.”

We’ll see this theme reiterated and intensified with Will and Hannibal’s relationship in the back half of season 2/front half of season 3, then Will’s relationship with Molly in the Red Dragon arc, as their marriage is tainted for both of them by the Dragon’s attack.

#hannibal #hannibal meta #hannibal lecter #will graham #abigail hobbs #jack crawford #bella crawford #alana bloom #molly graham #my meta #rewatch meta series #season 1 #potage #oeuf #coquilles

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vyrulent · 4 years ago

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verses - anna harvey

American Horror Story Verses

Murder House: anna is the daughter of larry harvey and died in the house well before her dad left her mother to be with constance. she was murdered in a robbery gone wrong. she holds an intense anger at constance and tate ( especially at tate because of what he did to her father ) and she does anything and everything to make sure tate’s ghostly life is an unhappy one. Asylum: following her father’s prison sentence for murdering his ex girlfriend’s son and others, anna is committed after a severe break down after being left without anyone. she’s severely depressed and wants people to hurt just as she does. she happens to be committed to Briarcliff Asylum based on a connection between her extended family and the mayor. Murder House/Apocalypse: anna was not given a proper education in witchcraft, it was one that she had to learn on her own -- which gave her the time to learn all manner of magic. well versed in voodoo and craft, anna finds a place as a teacher at the new orleans school for witches. her speciality at the school is teaching her girls how to secure themselves from being overtaken by another magical being. she teaches them the magic of reading someone’s thoughts but how to prevent someone else from reading their own. what she does not tell anyone in the house is that her boyfriend is a loupgarou -- of whom she cursed in a moment of anger and controls if need be

BBC Dracula

anna works as a nurse for the harker foundation. she is a phlebotomist, which means she’s the one that is sent in to collect blood from the vampires that are being studied

The Haunting of... Verses

Hill House: anna’s father owned the house at one point in time. basically follows the same format as the AHS: Murder House plot Bly Manor: anna was a live in nurse which haunted the manor after the lady of the lake crossed her path. she was on staff when henry was a child. she still goes about checking on the living as if she never died. blankets being pulled off or pulled up, lights being turned off/on, and temperature changes are a sign that she’s been near.

Hannibal

anna is a phlebotomist at the Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane where her father just so happens to be staying. she’s changed her name to annalee higgins so it will not be discovered that an inmate is her father.

The Handmaid’s Tale

anna was tasked to be a handmaid though it was later found that she, due to the armed robbery that led to her being in the hospital for months prior to the united states falling, was barren. it was this barren womb that sent her to work at jezebel’s -- it was considered a mercy according to her commander who had smuggled her over and made an offer to the owner of the establishment.

The Walking Dead

when the world goes dark in california, anna harvey searches for her father -- not finding him in his cell at the prison, she is determined to find him, be he dead or alive. she carries an ice pick on her and a machete to protect herself.

more to be added at a later date.

#verses: anna harvey

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fightevilandthengetblownup · 7 years ago

Text

My Design Verse

It always started the same way - Jack would burst into his lecture room and detail the facts of some new crazy murder spree that just wouldn’t be able to be looked into by anyone else.

Only when Jack needed him though; needed his eyes, his smarts and his empathy. He was Jack’s special tool, for the special cases where no other tool would do the job. And this case was no different, at least in that first explosive entrance into Will’s second lecture back since getting out of the hospital. He’d been promised a week but…

”We know her name, and her face, but we don’t know why she does this. This is where you come in, Will.” Jack’s voice was as strained as it had been every time they’d spoken since the FBI department head had begun to believe Will’s innocence after doubting him for the time. “There’s questions we need the answers to.”

“There’s no pattern that you and your interns can follow, you mean. You need someone who can find her.” The faint smirk that graced Will’s face was beginning to feel at home for him, being able to see through Jack’s façade of concern and to the cold hard facts that he was a tool to be used when necessary and thrown back into the box out of sight and mind when it wasn’t. An old tool with dents and bends that shouldn’t be there, but will do the job until it completely snaps. “You need me.”

“I need you, Will. Yes.” The resignation in Jack’s voice, his wife’s situation must be getting all the worse that he wasn’t arguing further - not enough spare in the older man to worry about placating his best professional investment when so much is tied up in his personal investments. “Just find her before we have another bizarre ritual slaughter or desecration to add to that file.”

The file had been laying closed on his desktop since the boss had left, the feeling of the classroom slowly seeping out the quiet fear and confusion that his classes had begun to fuel into him and his space. Maybe coming back to work wasn’t the best idea for the empath, but Hannibal had looked surprised at his determination to return - and if Will wanted to clear his entire reputation as well as Chilton’s then he needed to get his hands back into the FBI and their grasp, even if it was firmly turned from his psychiatrist at the moment. Will could not visualise until the tense atmosphere had lifted, or else he would just relive the hours just before as he ran through the mentality of those who weren’t mentalities any more for the class.

It wasn’t passing, that much was clear, and as he fumbled the pages into his messenger, Will Graham rolled his sleeves down and shrugged on the tweed jacket. As he made his way from the room, home and away from the stares that were still not sure they could believe his innocence despite it being cleared in all but reputation, the click of heels caught his attention further down the opposite end of the corridor. A familiar sound that was too much. If Will had to look, he could not look and speak to her in the same day. Not after Hannibal.

He could hear her calling, though he just sped onwards leaving her behind. Leaving the whole area behind in his rear view mirror. It was only holding him back so long as the monster was free. He could not see there. Especially not the woman outlined in the pages in his bag.

She would not be in that building, at least not by choice, and Will did not think she would be caught in such a way to bring her in any form but on a metal gurney. There was a challenge in her file, the deranged mind that would behead one victim, stab another in the neck and then turn around to shoot a third through the heart within a week of each other - and yet was still at large and not once trapped in a spiders web the way the closest files to her own had ever been by some special agent three times over. Insane yet in control of the sane world around her. She would be a challenge and a conquest all over.

The family were all there - welcoming and happy, tails aloft and voices high - as he got home, the joyous feelings and warm, /safe/ waves of his home where it was peaceful and he was king like Chilton at his hospital or Hannibal at his table. It wasn’t a pleasant comparison, but unlike the other psychopaths, Will’s kingdom was not built on other’s misery. He had had enough of that of his own and living through other’s that his dogs, his family, were the safety blanket of love and gentleness to soothe the balms of his work that his world at home was just that instead.

Maybe reading the process of a madwoman in such an environment - his one safe place in the world - was a bad idea, but as his fingers brushed the file and pulled her identity out of his bag it felt right. Like she would be at home here. Like her home was just like this. She /has/ a home like this; a singular stable point in a mad world where she was safe and loved by those that knew her more than the faces of the people she would meet outside each day. The problem with empathy was connection, a stark problem as Will opened the file across his lap (Winston’s nose snuggly pressed into the crook of his elbow as the rest of the family went about their business) and scanned over the dark eyes that stared up at him from the grainy images of the woman’s face, feeling a connection to his prey - or rather his catch, prey is Hannibal’s domain - as he slips into their world and feels it reach out and tug at his.

She was like him, but different too. That much was certain as his eyes closed and the wipers of his mind flicked away his own world and built up her own around him. There was life around her, happy and simple, but much more than the surface domestication - things that would be out of place in other houses; like his bed in his lounge room and her locked trunk as a coffee table. It was new. They’d been arguing about it, the contents something distasteful or disapproved by the other. She didn’t know what the problem was, and Will didn’t either. She needed more space, she needed more access. She needed it to make them safe.

Will sighed as she did - boots kicked up on the lid as the laptop laid precariously across their lap. The soft huff of air beside them was comforting though, their dog always knew when their mind would drift over things that would upset them. Bobby always said love was hard-

The empath jerked from his mind’s image for a moment and flipped haphazardly through the pages until the name made sense. /Bobby Singer/, the owner of a junk yard in South Dakota who had been linked in several investigations of strange behaviours as well as the pair of brothers that most resembled the young woman’s file. He was reported to have been investigated and found clean, phone tapping opportunities had drawn no conclusions and all attempts and other surveillance had been inconclusive at best, and completely useless at worst. The blonde had connections through her mother to the junkyard owner, the mother having been reported to have joined the older man a few years back. Nothing had come up suspicious other than her husband’s disappearance some decades back.

He turned the pages back to the collection of old motel and 7-11 security camera shots, blonde hair bleached white on the page as the woman’s face and head splattered the page and he delved once more into the world he’d been creating for her. Borrowing from her.

-but that was just what it was supposed to be like. And they knew he knew they were right. They needed to have those weapons right there, in easy reach. Just in case one of the other defences failed. Or someone who wouldn’t be trapped by the salt or symbols was the one to stop by. They needed to be able to protect him, keep him safe, because he wouldn’t do it for himself if they were in trouble. They’d both learnt that much after the last catch, and they couldn’t take it if he got hurt on her behalf again.-

The love she felt wasn’t what Will had expected, a psychopath with an obvious blood lust and disregard for human and animal life (given the slaughtering that would precursor some of their killings) in such barbaric forms was not someone who could - or rather, should - feel that way. That was not what he had thought was to her. It was not what the evidence suggested. The words on the page and the evidence in the crimes could be wrong though, that much Will was an expect in the field on, but even his case there was a glimmer of confusion and potential with his illness and psyche so twisted from his time under Hannibal’s eye. There wasn’t that confusion here - the murders were her handiwork, there was images of some even that placed her right there, blade in hand and blood all across her - and yet it didn’t match.

-Their hands danced their way across the keyboard, stroking letters and tapping away deftly as page after page of websites popped up. News articles. All places they had been, or were going to go -as some of the locations and dates matched to their most recent murders while others were days to come. They jotted some of the town names on one piece of pad, rested against the shaggy dog’s back as they added notes of words Will did not understand the connection to. Wolf, shifter, brother, rug, suc - the names went on and on, and they knew exactly what went where within a few clicks and articles at each place. Those that they didn’t know got scribbled on the next page alongside a book mark to the url, their lip bit tightly between their teeth. There were so many new ones that they didn’t know, and that shook them to the core. It had been weird enough learning about him and his kind, but the range that had escaped through the cracks again as the light got forced back in? It terrified them.

This was their routine, their way of selecting victims, Will could see that now. It was the pages and pages of local and national newspaper articles, the Twitter updates of weird noises or terrified teens, and the patterns in communities that made no sense to anyone or wouldn’t even be considered as a pattern by even a typical statistician. John’s work, shared with them by Ash all those years ago, had been good for flexing their mind to see the unusual - or rather, the haystack full of invisible needles out of the rest.

“Finding my prey quickly and quietly, unobserved and unpredictable - this is my design.” Will murmured the words to himself as his eyes opened, taking in the fireplace across from him and the curious glances a few of his family sent him. “I find my work, I know what I want, /no/ what I /need/, to do to each as I locate them. Geographically plotting their disposal along a route to lead me back home again, where I will being again. I will not leave until I am prepared, though my work will be done without me. This is my design..” His finger brushed across the stubborn chin, jutted out as a bowie knife bigger than her forearm slashed through the throat of a victim months ago behind some run down bar where other victims had disappeared for weeks and blood had rained down on her in later shots despite her victim eclipsing her by a foot and what Will would hazard was at least 100lbs, the burning desire to find her - to stop her, to understand her - forcing the empath to slam her file shut before he could sink back into their world.

"She will hunt regardless of my finding her. I can look tomorrow.” He spoke aloud, as though he had to convince someone around him - the thin air that surrounded him and the ghost of the monster that loomed over his every thought until he caught it - as he slid her file back onto his night stand. She could wait, he would have forever to find her before any one else did.

—-

It had been a week to the day since Jack gave him the file that Will Graham returned home to find his house broken into. Not the typical kicked in door with broken chip marks that spoke of an amateur burglary, but the two thin pieces of wire hanging out of the keyhole marking the perpetrator as a professional. A greeting, and a warning, as his hand reached out for the doorknob. He hadn’t been allowed to retain his gun since being released, despite his innocence and charges being dropped. And yet his fingers itched at his hip for his holster, as if wishing hard enough would bring it into existence. He considers not entering. It could easily be a trap, set to ensnare him yet again like the twisted fishing hooks - though it’s the bark of his jack russell which prompts him forward.

As Will pushed the door inwards, he was overwhelmed as always by his family’s welcome back - the joyful, happy reunion not at all darkened by the presence of the woman reclining on his bed. /Joanna Beth Harvelle/, the deranged ex-waitress from North Dakota, shows signs of severe detachment from the suffering of others and unpredictable murderous intent. Legs crossed and stretched out along the cover, her socked feet hung off the side of the bed - her mud-coated shoes were politely set by the door as her dark eyes raked over him. The petite woman was not what most would consider to appear like a serial killer, and Will found himself staring down eyes that could be as sharp as the knives that she was fond of or as soft as he had imagined her voice to be.

There she was. His prey, his lure, his shiny bauble that caught his attention and confused him until he’d just reach out and bite down on her sharp hooks. The demin-clad woman who he’d spent the last week trying to get into. He was determined to figure her out, as every time he tried to push himself inside of her he came up with another layer or more confusing. Every attempt to look through her had uncovered something new, something unexpected, and Will had been afraid to dig deeper as her world began to bleed into his like Abigail’s father had.

He had seen into her, felt her heart beats in his ear the same as his as he tried to find her pattern, her way of determining who to kill and who to save. Will had seen how she took after her mother, the way she would cock her hip out in a fight the way she used to see her mother do through the crack in her bedroom door. And her choice of relaxation methods from the weeks of cake slices she would take to school with her when her father went away. The way she inherited her love for knives under her father’s encouragement before his passing. Her favorite bands came from the faded posters and the dull thrum of music that would seep through the wall from her friend’s room from the time she was a pre-teen. The way her hands would shake as she would throw the last of the dirt over a shallow grave. None of it lined up with the cold-blooded killer he was supposed to be after; the same way he was unlike the copy-cat in anything but circumstance.

“I hope you don’t mind that I let myself in, your friends were going crazy when I was waiting outside.” Her voice, more gravelly than he had thought it to be, caught his attention back from staring her down as the dogs turned about to sniff at her heels and return to their regular resting spots as though not at all concerned the woman who surrounded herself in blood was reclined in such a possessive fashion upon his bed. If his silent appraisal, drawn in again to something so deranged and convoluted as the file turned form before him, had upset her at all she didn’t show it. Every person around him always reacted to his detatchment in some way - Jack with frustration, Alana with concern, Beverly with attitude, and Hannibal with fascination - but all he found in response to his continued silence was two big brown eyes blinking slowly at him as though they were both poised upon a knifes edge. Somewhere she was the one in control and comfortable with, in equal measure to the comfort Will felt within the sturdy walls of his home.

He could feel the questions bubbling within his mind, each needing an answer, a reason, an explanation that he couldn’t reconcile for himself even as he delved deeper into her with every try in that last week. Living inside of her had gelded no answers, only more questions - and as Will slowly pushed the front door shut behind him, he was certain she knew them all. “You were on the stoop of their home uninvited. That’s not usually well received.” His defensive tone, as though probing and poking to get a reaction from her that he could use to get in again and get his answers, delivered no results other than a small smile. “You had invaded their home and they had questions of you.”

“Seems to me that they’ve forgiven me though, such lovely little boys and girls. I’ve a dog at home myself just like the big doofus over there.” There was something about the familiarity, the comfortable way she spoke about his own family that pushed him along that edge. Will’s eyes flicked over towards the bernese dog curled before the dead fireplace, its tail wagged as though aware he was the one being spoken of, and he found yet another bridge begin to form between the two of them. Two mistaken murderers with a penchant for dogs. Animal cruelty was a common sign of a psychopath, and yet there she was with Winston’s head rested against her thigh in a way even Will’s- or he should say Hannibal’s, now- darling Alana could not succeed with. Her fingers brushed through his chesnut fur with deft practice. “And this big sweetheart wouldn’t rest until I’d given him some attention.”

Will’s brow creased deeper as he tried to reconcile his world to hers again, or possibly rather separate them, his feet making muted scrapes as he shuffled his feet a little closer. He expected to feel open, broken into and rifled around in the same way he did with the first killer to break into his home. But he didn’t. The same way the dogs were not gorging themselves on sausage meat made of whatever car sales man had offended the Chesapeake Ripper that week. He shrugged that thought away, another time and another place he would consider it but not now, and moved to reach for one of the piles of file pages spread across the bedspread before her. “Perhaps they do, but not to sound rude in my own home that you’ve gone and broken your way into, I’d like to know what else you’ve rifled away in. Besides these and endearing yourself to the rest of the family.”

He thought she had been smiling before, the soft warm looks that she had been giving to his furred housemates so the same as what those Will was surrounded by at work would deliver as a smile, but he was proven wrong regarding her yet again as she smiled brightly despite his aggressive response. She seemed to find his surly attitude and snappish tone amusing, if the choked back noise in her throat before she replied was anything to go by. “Ah yes, of course you worry about that. Not that I’d blame you one bit for it - I got broken into a while back, or rather stalked and a rather disgusting show of racist bigotry that followed, so I know how that feels. But that set up by the doc of yours?” The blonde let out an appreciative whistle, whether admiring Hannibal’s work or the fact Will was still standing despite it he couldn’t tell, that perked the ears of each of his dogs’ ears for a moment before she continued. “That was rough. See that’s exactly why I refuse to go to some sort of therapist bullshit, no ‘fense, cause the real coo-coo’s are the ones with the degrees if you feel me.”

He wasn’t the type to find such comments offensive any more, not after the monster had shown himself behind his smiling face, though that wasn’t what froze him like a lightening bolt as his fingers brushed against hers over the tops of her file. She knew about him. She knew about Hannibal. She knew about this file, and his psychosis, and his claims. She knew about it all somehow and she saw him. /See you/. She was no Garret Jacob Hobbs, but she saw him all the same. She /believed/ him without question unlike every other person he’d presented his theory to. Pleaded his innocence to. Raved his accusations to. “H.. How do you know about that?” The tremor Will heard in his voice was so like him before, before staring down Hannibal and calling him Ripper, but he felt just as out of control and his depth as he did back then as his mind had betrayed him.

“This fantastic invention called 'the Internet’?” The blonde smirked knowingly back at him as he jerked away from her, hands fisted tightly around the pages and pages detailing every sick thing that had been attributed to her smaller ones. His rejection seemed to finally find a chink in her act, though Will could not work out what that would symbolise in such a woman. Or at least the woman on paper. “You know, I think that Freddie Lounds has a bit of a crush on you? She covered your case and your claims and everythin’, even the stuff struck from record, about you down. Or did you mean how did I know you were trying to hunt me down?”

“Both really.” He grunted the words out, the flood of arrogance in her own question rubbed his hair the wrong way. Will would have expected his newest assignment from Jack to be somewhat classified. He’d only glimpsed the type of file she had a few times in past, and they passed over so few desks. Only the profilers and agent attached. Will would not be surprised if he was a last ditch attempt so far as she was concerned. The brothers he’d heard of before were easier to find, always travelling and frequently found involved in other crimes - but this one? He couldn’t tell why that didn’t occur for her as well, though he attributed it to the same reason she felt like she belonged there. Right where she was. “Freddie Lounds may be a good reporter, but she does not have the kind of reach to know about this.” He rustled the pages in his fist at her, an echo of a threat that she needed- no, he wanted- her to explain herself. And what may happen if she did not comply.

Winston’s growl was not something Will was used to hearing, as the woman shifted in her spot and twisted away from continuing to stroke him as she turned her attention fully to Will himself. Obviously he and she both had been spoiling him. “In that case. I have an IT guy. He lets me know if I pop up on anyone’s radar.” That smirk, it was almost as infuriating as Hannibal’s though for a completely different reason, almost made him embarrassed for questioning her. She was playing a whole different game than Will knew the rules for - serial killers, sociopaths, men with god complexes and those who had lost their minds somewhere down the track, who saw the same world that Will did but from a different light. Those were the people he could consume and become, almost too far sometimes. But this game was in a different world - her settings were the same, but the characters and rules called for things outside of what he could predict or understand.

“Robert Singer, of South Dakota, correct?” The affection she spoke about her 'guy’ made the assumption an easy jump. Even if her madness was still outside of his sight, the connections, the human elements that were clear as day within her from the moment she first spoke, were not hard for him to hazard out. The man’s name had been in her file, he was with her mother, a woman she desperately tried to resemble unconsciously beneath the active and aware disobedience and refusal. It was a logical step, an emotional leap, a rational response; as he moved towards his desk to smooth the papers to be put back in the manilla folder.

“Bobby?!” He almost jumped at the sound of laughter behind him. It had been a long time since there had been more than a huffed noise or sarcastic chuckle around him. It sounded like music in comparison, as Will stared back at her over his shoulder. It was strange to hear, and stranger to realise the lack of such a sound in his life. And how he didn’t want that sort of normalcy to leave. Even if it was from the mouth of a murderer. “No, not Bobby. I didn’t see him on any of the accurate pages in here..” The speed in which she flipped through the pages was the first show of her even being more than a normal woman. He couldn’t let that get away.

There was no way that she could be normal. Nothing about her could be allowed to be normal; no one normal and stable could cause the desecration that she did. Even he had slipped and slided to the point that he was visually not normal. /Unstable/. Will had to find the holes in her armour, the edge to her mask. There had to be something inside of her to corrupt such a normal, beautiful girl all those years ago. Perhaps it was the brothers. The older man. Her mother. Her absent father. There was too many and not enough; he could not see her yet. He wanted to see what was underneath it all and find all the marks of the darkness she wrought. He had to see her. Find her. Be her.

“So what exactly made you decide that breaking into the home of the agent hunting you?” With a shake of his head, dark whisps fallen across his vision as he turned away from staring longingly yet again, Will’s tone was edged in a way that held a threat that he didn’t know he could follow with. A threat she would not care if he did. “To see what I know about you. What that file says about you.” His hand smoothed carefully over the page before him -/JH pictured in Act #45 with victim #73 also pictured/. Her hair was darker in the photograph, stained grey from the shoddy security camera as she pressed the man, victim #73, against a wall in one shot before her hand became filled with a bowie knife the size of her arm and the knife disappeared within the victims neck in the third image. Her eyes held the same life and balance, awareness and stability, that they did now as he turned to face her again. “To…correct it?”

“Well first off, you’re not a real agent. But well done.” He didn’t want that tone to disappear, the lightness and amusement breathing into the house in the same way his dogs did and his fly hooks did for him. It was life, even as he turned his back on the proof that she dealt and spent in the exact opposite of it. She wasn’t mocking him; Will could see that much of her. She was mocking the agency, but not him. “You’re not just a pretty face then, was startin’ to think I’d have to be sweet on you with that sad puppy look. I’m here to correct you on a few things, and make a very clear point as well…”

Will froze in position as her feet dropped off the side of the bed with a thud, the almost predatory way she moved so alike but unlike the monster’s gaze sent a shiver along his spine. He was like the deer in Hobb’s crossfires; the next 'pig’ to Hannibal’s sounder. He was the fish he would catch and she was the lure. Helpless, weak, outmatched; but captured and captivated without a sound. She didn’t move like she was hunting her prey though, she moved like a lioness stalking around her cubs - the alertness there but none of the intent.

“Now, I was just stoppin’ by to tell you to stop trying to catch me. I’m not what you think I am, I’m /protectin’/ people out there - not killing them.” He had been wrong to think her voice would have been soft before, there was very little about her that was now as they stood toe-to-toe - him blocking her way from the building and her crowding him back as though to pull him in instead. Will’s fingers itched, though he wasn’t sure if it was for the missing holster at his hips or to reach out and touch her - to see if she was real and really there, or a return to the fever dreams of confusion and disillusionment that he’d had before. “If you don’t believe me about that, then believe me when I say that if you come after me you will disappear in a way none of your Federal buddies will be able to find you. But if you do believe me, then read through these carefully,” Her voice dropped, softer and huskier than the threats before them, as she pressed a hand to his chest. His own covered hers. It was warm, small; /soft/ like he’d thought. The papers remained as she slipped her hand from his, brown eyes wide as she stared up at him. She reeked of desperation. For him to trust her. Like she trusted him about Hannibal. “Follow the patterns and you’ll be able to find me amongst the truth of it.”

There was a frown on her face as she stared back at him, as though expecting his response to match her when all he could do was stare and gulp at her. His throat was dry. He couldn’t do anything but watch her, observe her, find her somewhere in the moves she made as he clung to the pages and she bent to tug her boots back on. Jack would want him to nab her here and there; she was a menace, a danger, unstable. Hannibal would have had a place for her on his table the moment she entered his house uninvited. Alana would never have stepped over the threshold. But Will saw something, nothing and he had to see what it meant. He couldn’t see if her words were honest and truthful or just a carefully concealed lie from behind a mask of innocence and assurance. He couldn’t see what was her reality and what was his, and how they could ever align to make her stability make sense within his world.

It wasn’t until Winston’s head butted against his calf that Will blinked his way out of the void between his world and hers, to find she had vacated his completely. The faint smell of vanilla, metal and chocolate in the air, a scent he’d not identified until she’d brushed past him and out of his door across the fields as being the smell of her, was all that lingered in the wake of her visit. His hand tightened across the pages she’d left him with, the rest of her file fell across the bed haphazardly and onto the floor aside from his rescued pictures of her. This was what she said was the answer. Would be his answer. Would point him to her, to find her, to understand her, to /see/ her. As he unrumpled the page between his hands, Will frowned at the post-it note within it with a city and date scrawled across it – ‘/Carthage, Missouri. 11/19/2009/’

---

A little town in the middle of nowhere. Population of approximately fourteen thousand, with two schools and enough quaint charm that those who grew up there would return after college with a partner and two children but isolated enough to create the ‘small town angst’ for every teenager and high school drop out to harbor deep inside until they were old and jaded, in November, 18th, 2009. Carthage was a sleepy hollow on the edge of Missouri that would be a pleasant detour when travelling across the country. The township is best known for its maple trees. /Was/ best known for them.

The post-it note had led him to a dead end, of the literal kind. It had taken longer than he cared to consider to find his way there. Jack had found cases he needed Will’s special expertise for left and right, and the number of students who had begun to turn their attention to his classes and field had begun to grow as his infamy settled into curiosity rather than terror. He’d not heard a word about how his profiling was going on the young woman, and he’d not turned his thoughts to her consciously until the several weeks had passed.

Unconsciously however, she filled his dreams the same way Garret Jacob Hobbs had as he tried to puzzle his way into her. His mantle piece would be covered in severed heads with closed eyes, blood dripping its way over the edge of the wood to drip onto the floorboards or run down the wall until a pool would surround the angel of death – her blonde hair darkened as the blood coated the outside edges and around the rest of her frame. Dark brown eyes would stare up at him, a silent scream for help or a warning he couldn’t tell, before her arm and blade would rise to point at the heads, the silver bowie knife in her grip dripping with the same red liquid that stuck to her and ran over his feet. When he’d look back to the mantle the heads’ eyes would be open and focussed on him before their mouths opened in a deafening hiss, fanged teeth coated in thick blood right before he’d awaken in a cold sweat again.

It had taken him five weeks before the nightmares finally were beyond ignorable. He’d slipped up in one of his so called therapy session the previous week about them to Hannibal – a wrong comment about his thoughts on the doctor being far from the most disturbing in his mind brought the entire conversation around through twists and turns like all their discussions did – and despite Will’s promise to himself to avoid playing the same runs that the other wanted or suggested for him to do, he found the post-it note pulled from its place amongst photographs of the woman and the researching beginning anew as Hannibal had suggested. The other psychiatrist suggested that the dreams, or more importantly the fear he felt upon waking up for her, were his way of seeking out an answer, a meaning or some logic to her actions that Will needed. Closure for brushing against her so frequently, tugging and pushing and pressing into her all that time before she breezed out of his door. For him to be able to understand a puzzle he couldn’t make out, the same as the puzzle Will was still unravelling with Hannibal himself. And that was what he found himself attempting to follow, the same way Alice followed the elusive white rabbit down the rabbit hole – though he hoped to retain what little remained of his sanity.

He had started with the file itself, pouring over the names and places the blonde woman had struck until the deeds she’d committed barely made him blink or shocked. Until they were just words on paper rather than bodies in alleyways or heads on the mantle. Blood in her hair. Will plotted her movements, the dates and the times, the start of each new string of horrors that culminated in deaths or property destruction or the desecration of bodies. He wrote her name and her cities, he breathed in her movements across time and country as though it would tell him where she would go next, how she came to hand him that puzzling piece of paper with that town she’d never been to scrawled across it. He’d had to pause and take a pill for the headache he was developing as the times started to smash together; a jumble of times and places all at once or stacked on top of each other. His glasses felt tight and the truth of the matter seemed further and further away the more he pried into what was hers, the confused jumble of times she would be killing a man with a silver bullet on one side of the country at midnight and leaving another mutilated and missing a heart on the other just six hours later, and so forth felt like a shock to the mind to reconcile them both to the same person. Especially the small woman who’d smelt of desserts.

The timeline was the first chink in his belief for the file over her though, where she’d had no holes or gaps, the story the reports painted was as riddled with them as the bodies shot though with bows and arrows and bullets in her wake. Will didn’t believe she wasn’t capable of murder, that her hands were clean or that she was framed the way that a tube down the throat packed with the ear of a loved one was, but something was wrong with the picture the FBI was trying to interpret her from. Perhaps he was too close, perhaps her personal greeting had twisted him with her laughs and her smiles. Or perhaps he was again seeing what others at the bureau didn’t.

Papers and police reports, census data and Wikipedia, were next yet none of them explained what would be of interest for a serial killer in the small sleepy township. Other than a few unexplained home invasions and the typical drunk-and-disorderly reports the town was clean. Perfect. A small slice of the traditional and kitsch that had fallen through the cracks of time to retain its’ charm. The aging population was not a concern, and the local newspaper would drag on about the local college football’s team chances against others. There was nothing suspect or concerning at a cursory glance to the place. Carthage may have been built on a field drenched in blood, but Will could find nothing of it being that way now as he searched.

It wasn’t until that thought had crossed his mind that Will noticed the detail missing. The one clue amidst so much additional white noise that it had almost slipped right past him. In the same way that he found Garret Jacob Hobbs from a missing address – one small detail that would have made him another face in the crowd to Will if it weren’t for it. The quirk of a man out of place, and a place out of time. Nothing existed of Carthage, Missouri after November 19th, 2009. No newspaper articles, no census details, no police reports; even taxation records showed nothing from the town after that date. Will had even taken the weekend to fly out and visit – only to see the ghost town in the flesh as clearly as it was on paper. A town that disappeared in a day, the way that Rome fell in flames and Atlantis was said to have sunk beneath the waves. It was no more from that point, and nobody appeared to be concerned or know about it, except the writer of the note and her now curious counterpart.

—

The dead bodies were piled high across the yard, their carcasses all that was left after the scavengers had finished plucking every useable part from the corpse, forming a weaving labyrinth between the house and the collection of tin rooves and sheds across the property. It was a place that Will would not have been surprised to have found himself arriving at after a call from Jack. The rusted skeletons littering the grounds would inevitably end up filtered through into his nightmares tonight – the stag would prowl proudly amongst the wreckage while the angel would be pinned down somewhere or dashing before Will, always just out of reach whenever he grabbed for her. Last night he brushed the back of her red dress and smell of chocolate had haunted him into the waking world.

The dark haired man had weaved his way through the junk yard until he reached the old farm house. The boarded up windows on some of the rooms made him believe this would be another dead end, just like the one that led him to the abandoned town filled with parked cars, empty houses and rotted food throughout the stores with nobody to use them but ghosts. The only thing that didn’t fit the picture was the blown out wreckage of what appeared to be a hardware store by the collection of melted tools and nails. It would have all been pointless, a wild goose chase, in his mind if he hadn’t found a knife embedded into the wooden street lamp post outside of it from the blast. That dagger was the only suggestion he was on the right track and that something more had occurred, something that no small woman could do on her lonesome if she even did. It was her knife though, Will knew that much.

His first impression that the junkyard and house were abandoned was proven wrong as he moved to head up the small set of steps to the front door as the door opened at his approach. There was something all too familiar to him in the suspicious glare being levelled at him and the defensive stance of the older man as he stepped out the doorway. Robert Singer looked exactly like the grainy photographs of the man in the file, the lines above his brows a little deeper and the depth of age and wear in his eyes the only differences that reality could give into the man’s life that a long-shot lens couldn’t. “Mr. Singer, right? My name’s Will Graham, I’m with the F-”

“The FBI, I’m aware of who you are. Face splashed all across the papers not so long ago.” The gruff tone was not at all unexpected, though it took care for him to keep his face from hiding the surprise at the straight awareness. Sure he’d been outed nationally as the possible Copy Cat Killer, but that had been weeks since dropped, and to remember a name and a face so long when so unrelated? The strange awareness and calculation that the blonde had had cloaked the older man as well, even more tightly wrapped around him from what had to have been years longer. “What I’m not aware of is why I’d be getting’ a visit from the Feds.”

The accusing tone behind the words made Will want to run back down the stairs and tell Jack to forget about it, that the blonde was one crazy no one would be finding any time soon, that there was no chance, no logic, no reason to her and the whole world she existed in outside of their own. That even he couldn’t see into her like he could the other brands of crazy and murderous. That perhaps Hannibal would be a better suggestion. Though the second that that thought crossed his mind, he wanted nothing more than to stop that ever becoming a reality. There was too much life to be lost there, and Will gave a soft sigh at himself for even thinking it; Hannibal was someone to wish upon himself and nobody else, that torment was Will’s to bear, not the sprite. He could already see what an elaborate masquerade would be made to display her – warm eyes dulled and lips stained red from blood as she was laid across the alter, hands clasping the bouquet of her knives as the empty fired shells surrounded like rose petals and the gap between neck and chest gaping wide like some she’d leave behind, all to disguise what part of her the other psychiatrist had stolen away from her – and it made his stomach turn to consider just what private showing that would be put on as well now he knew of it.

He swallowed down those thoughts as a sharp knock of metal on wood jerked him back out of his mind, a round of blinking before Will reconciled that the rap was from the barrel of the old shotgun against the door frame that caught him back. The other man’s comfort with the weapon as well as considering look made him want to shudder as he tucked his hands awkwardly into the front pockets of his dark denim jeans. If there was a moment to wish he had worn a jacket he could fumble with it was now. “Ah, well, I’m not here officially speaking – I..am trying to find an acquaintance of yours.” Will got the words out as clearly as he could, the loathesome look upon Robert’s face did nothing to calm his thoughts and the thought to lie about his reasons vanished alongside it. “Joanna Harvelle, I’ve… I’m supposed to be creating a criminal profile on her, but I can’t.”

“And you thought comin’ to an acquaintance of someone you’re huntin’ to get inside their heads was a good idea?” The look in the other’s eyes sent a shiver down his spine. It was almost like staring down the stag, facing the monster and looking unblinkingly into its face. Almost. There wasn’t the lack of warmth deep inside, the cold detachment from humanity like the cool icy-blue behind Hannibal’s eyes was missing within the older man’s. “Boy, you’re well out of your mind.”

It wasn’t hard to imagine this man being close to Joanna, the same hard edges jutting out sharply underneath it all amongst the same smooth corners, worn away from years of abuse and hardship. Will could see this man clearer than his lure though, the way his entire house seemed to have build and grow and age alongside him, the wear of the world toughening his skin, hands and mind while the pains he’d seen come and go left his heart scarred yet open. He wanted to protect, defend, save…father those around him, in a way he had never been cared for, and yet the aggression was still there, the same drive to find and destroy and underlying current of dangerous energy was still the same as the blonde’s if only dulled by time, age and wisdom. They were from the same cloth, that same world Will couldn’t understand, but at different points; she was consumed within it, while Robert had slowly let it slip back again. The absent thought of just how many unsolved murders years ago in the records room could be tied up to the man before him crossed his mind before shoving that aside for another day.

He coughed slightly, a faint worry that perhaps his encephalitis might have flared its nostrils again, as he averted his gaze at Robert’s brushing against the truth. “If you read TattleTale, you’d know better than the question it.” Will reached up, fiddling with his glasses for a second as the older man shifted his weight. He couldn’t quite find the words to explain it, why he was here, what he would do with whatever he found, who he would tell it to; that all he wanted to find out was why the blade engraved with her last name found amongst the rubble was iron unlike most. He leant down to slide the blade under the door, facing up and the small sliver of light making her name shine. “I might be mad, but if anyone’d have answers about her it’d be you. And... I have something of hers, I- I think she needs it back...” He trailed off awkwardly, the confusion he could feel bubbling through him was the same in his voice, and he was surprised to realise his voice didn’t crack of waver as he waited. Baited breath and half expecting the door to be slammed in his face or the barrel of the gun to rise between his eyes, Will closed his eyes as he awaited the older man to play his move in return.

The door thunked back open in response, as the older man turned, gun at his hip now rested back in the umbrella stand and the quiet stillness of the house reached out, beckoned to him to come inside. “If I’m goin’ to be answering whatever questions you got, we’ll need some coffee.” Robert’s voice echoed out of the hallway as he disappeared from sight somewhere behind the air motes and faint sunlight that floated down from the landing window before Will finally moved. He rose awkwardly as he stepped through the threshold, decision made to follow the shiny lure up out of the murky confusion and darkness if he could, and if the older man could provide the push, he’d take it. The sharp cold of the steel in his hand catching him as it’s true owner had, pulling him deeper through the dark.

#fic #for lexy #my design verse

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kotamouse · 7 years ago

Text

Vampanarimloo Ch. 1 Pt. 2

“What do you what, Webber Boy?” Kerik says irritably after he opens the door.

“Your help,” Panaro shrugs.

Kerik looks him over. He can tell the young Merik is incredibly distraught. Panaros eyes have bags from worrying about Karimloo all night, and his shoulders slumped in exhaustion. When Kerik looked in Panaro’s eyes, it was as if he could see through into his mind and see all the fear and sadness tormenting him in there. And though most of their Eriks were accustomed to not eating often, Panaro’s stomach rumbled loudly, and it sounded almost painful. He really did need his help.

“Come in,” Kerik opens his door for Panaro to come through. “This is regarding your companion down the hall isn’t it.”

Kerik's room was certainly a sight to behold. Panaro could see boards lining the walls, several detailed blueprints and layouts for all sorts of inventions and architectural structures. The furniture had been gutted and replaced with fine Persian rugs, a cushioned armchair, and a well furnished bed. The smoke and scent wafting through the room was courtesy of the hookah pipe on Kerik's nightstand.

“Yes…” Panaro stifled a cough inhaling the smell.

He takes a seat on Kerik’s bed, which was softer than he at first expected, and sighs while Kerik goes over to the personal bar he has set up and pours two drinks. Panaro can tell he is tense, in fact this is the tightest he’s ever seen the other man's shoulders. Kerik was always the most laid back of all of them, but tonight was different all together. It was as if Panaro were talking to a whole other Phantom entirely.

“So,” Kerik says. “What is it.”

"What am I going to do?" Panaro asks, shaking like a leaf.

"Kill him, plain and simple,” Kerik responds flatly.

"I love him! I'm not going to sit by and let that happen-" Panaro was cut off by Kerik slamming his hands on the table he was pouring at, shaking the glasses.

"So you're fine if he hurts you?!" He shouts, wheeling around.

“He wouldn’t hurt me.”

Kerik scoffs, "Don't think I didn't see those marks."

Panaro adjusts his collar, his fingers grazing his lip “He didn't mean to… it was an accident…"

"Right. What if it's Jones next? Or Mauer? Mann? What if next time around he goes after father dearest Crawford, eh? Can you live with one of your own’s death on your conscience because you let things be?! I've seen this dozens of times over before!" Kerik's shoulders were shaking with rage.

Panaro sat in shocked silence, he had never seen Kerik like this before. His raising his voice was a terrifying thing to behold. His golden eyes seemed to be made of flames in his anger, but soon they cooled. Kerik assessed the situation at hand, and let his shoulders drop. Handing Panaro a glass of some sort of alcoholic drink- smelling strongly like a cream sherry mixture -he sighed.

"Sorry. This is a sore spot for me,” Kerik apologizes, downing his glass in one gulp.

“You said you knew about this happening before…?” Panaro asks carefully. “How…?”

“In Russia…” Kerik breathes in deeply and begins fixing another drink. “I was alone… I was careless…I wasn’t listening to my surroundings, paying attention to where I was. I didn’t know anyone was following me.”

Panaro watches Kerik carefully as he tells his story. The novelized man holds his glass so tight Panaro is worried it might shatter in his hands as he moves towards the window. Kerik’s jaw is locked tight, and Panaro shifts uncomfortably, absentmindedly rubbing Ayesha’s ear to calm his nerves.

“I was attacked,” Kerik continues, his voice gravely. “By a vampire… He must’ve thought I’d be an easy target, you know, someone who wouldn’t be missed. I suppose he was right…”

“How did you get away?” Panaro asks.

“Well for starters I put up one hell of a fight,” Kerik chuckles and turns towards Panaro. “But it was Nadir who saved me in the end. He heard the commotion going on, in fact he was already following me, and he put an end to the vampire. I would’ve died if it weren’t for him…”

Panaro could cut the tension in the air with a knife.

“He took me under his wing, taught me everything I know about vampires. We were an unstoppable force in Persia when it came to hunting…” Kerik pauses. “What I’m saying, Panaro, is that I’ve seen these creatures first hand. I’ve seen the destruction they cause and have been the boot of it more times than I’d care to admit. But it doesn’t matter who they are or how much you love them. They’re not cats that can be tamed. They’re beasts that need to be killed,” He was beginning to raise his voice again, his fists clenched so hard his knuckles turned white.

“There has to be another way… That can’t be the only answer,” Panaro says desperately, suddenly standing. “There has to be civil vampires they can’t all be ravenous!”

“I’m sorry-”

“Vampires are creatures of strategy right? That’s why they attack when people are alone! Or why they change people with no moral compass,” Panaro is frantic and loud. “Well they were wrong with Karimloo! Please!”

“Panaro… he’s not human anymore.”

“He may not be human, but he hasn’t lost his humanity,” There’s a long pause. “He’s the one who told me to come downstairs you know. He was the reason I left the room when I did. He didn’t want to hurt me… It’s still him Kerik. It’s still Karimloo.”

Kerik watches Panaro with pity, but also with great remorse. He wished what had happened to Karimloo hadn’t as much as anyone, perhaps even more since he knows the strain of the situation, but what could he do?

“Help him,” Panaro jabs. “You said you knew vampires like the back of your hand, prove it. Help him be safe to be around. Train him.”

Kerik rolls his glass around between his fingers, processing the entire conversation. “Let me see him.”

“Be my guest.”

The two make their way to the couple’s shared room in silence, both of their minds working through the whole thing. Whatever Kerik saw in this room would decide Karimloo’s fate, and both he and Panaro knew and dreaded that fact. Placing his sweaty palms on the cool door knob, Panaro held his breath as he opened the door.

When the door opens the pair sees Karimloo wearing only his tank top and sweats, pacing the room and covered in beads of sweat. Panaro sees his lover’s mask thrown haphazardly on the messy bed, and most items on their dresser knocked over. Karimloo’s wig, though still on, is a tangled mess, and they could tell he has been running his hands through it for a while. Panaro hated to see him like this, and Kerik hated to see Panaro seeing him like this. Closing the door again, he speaks.

“He needs to feed,” Kerik says, reading Panaro’s confused expression.

“Can he do that without…?” Panaro feels a flush of worry go over him.

“It’s possible, yes,” Kerik answers. “Just incredibly hard for those who have been recently changed.”

“Can you help him stop once he starts,” The Broadway Man asks, then adds. “Humanely.”

Kerik sighs, “There are ways of subduing them without killing them yes.”

“Thank you.”

“Love?” Panaro says softly as he pushes open the bedroom door.

Karimloo’s face lights up when he sees his companion, but his glad expression seemed to be a mask that covered a look of despair. Upon seeing Kerik, however, both expressions melded into one of anger, though his eyes still showed the same fear.

“Why did you bring him in here,” Karimloo hisses, looking at Kerik.

“What do you-“ Panaro starts, but is cut off.

“Don’t think that I couldn’t hear you all talking about me downstairs,” Karimloo’s fist curls itself into a tight ball. “Or the two of you talking in his room.”

“Love there is no way in Hell or Hannibal that I am going to let him hurt you…” Panaro carefully takes his partner’s hands. “You have to trust me…”

“I do trust you,” Karimloo’s voice is calm as he looks into the eyes of his love. “It’s him I don’t trust.”

“Contrary to what either of you may believe, I came to see if I could help you,” Kerik steps forward. “Whether I like it or not.”

“Help me how?” Karimloo asks skeptically.

“Well, first off, I’m sure you’re thirsty. My job is to make sure whoever you bite you don’t drain dry.”

Karimloo’s mood instantly shifts and his shoulders drop, “I… I can’t. I don’t want to hurt anybody.”

“Well the longer you hold it off, the more likely you are to snap and the less likely you are to leave your meal alive,” Kerik explains. “If you feed now, there will be less harm done later.”

Karimloo bites his lip. Kerik was right and he knew it. But what could he do? Was he supposed to risk it biting someone in the House? Someone he loved? Would that connection give him incentive to stop?

“How?” Karimloo breathes.

“Me,” Panaro steps forward, causing both other men to startle.

“Panaro, I can’t…”

“If you snack on Kerik he won’t be able to stop you as readily as if he was just watching and making sure everything is going alright,” He explains. “It’s safer this way.”

“We didn’t talk about this,” Kerik puts his hand on Panaro’s shoulder. “Panaro…”

“I trust him, Kerik… and I trust you.”

“You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into,” Kerik warns.

“Do we have another choice?”

The room stands in silence for a moment, Kerik thinking through every possible outcome. Panaro stares at him, trying to convince him with his eyes, and Karimloo stares at Panaro, full of worry for his love. With a sigh Kerik gives, not finding any other option.

“Panaro. Sit,” He says and gestures to the bed. He then pulls up their desk chair and sets it kitty corner to the edge. “Karimloo.”

Karimloo sits in the chair and takes Panaro’s hand, his shoulders tight. Everyone in the room seemed to be holding their breath. This was the moment. Just as everything could go right, there was a bigger chance that everything could go wrong. Any number of them could get hurt, and none of them wanted that to happen.

“So, Vampy, you’re going to use Panaro’s wrist. It’s safer should something go wrong, then you’re not on his throat threatening anything important,” Kerik explains and Karimloo nods, rubbing Panaro’s hand protectively. “When you’re ready.”

Panaro turns his wrist over, and Karimloo takes a deep breath in, not even believing himself what he was about to do. A chill runs down Panaro’s spine when he sees the fangs in his love’s mouth and his brain makes the connection to what’s about to happen. Kerik places a hand on the panicking Phantom’s shoulder, trying to calm his fight or flight response.

Carefully as he could, Karimloo bites into Panaro’s wrist and he jumps at the puncture, a yelp leaving his lips. Kerik watches carefully, looking for any sign of danger. It was a simple enough task, but the stakes were high. One wrong move and Panaro could get the short end of that stick, but if that happened Kerik would make sure Karimloo got the sharp end.

“I think that’s enough…” Panaro says, his head beginning to swirl. “Angel…”

“Karimloo,” Kerik tries to grab his attention. “Karimloo you’ve had your fill you’re killing him. Karimloo!”

Kerik flips open a ring he had on his right hand flicks it’s contents- a small amount of vervain -into Karimloo’s face. Karimloo shoots up and growls at the Novelized Man, still in a feeding frenzy. Suddenly, the two are hand to hand, struggling for the upper hand. Karimloo was stronger, but didn’t know how to use it to his advantage yet, and Kerik knew that. The fight grows on, but remains even until Kerik throws the vampire to the ground and steps back, pulling a stake out of his jacket to Panaro’s horror.

“STOP!” He shouts and jumps up in between them, still dizzy and clutching his wrist.

Karimloo snaps out of his rage when he hears his love’s voice, but Kerik isn’t so easy.

“Get out of the way, Panaro,” He orders, looking straight through him and to Karimloo.

“What did you expect to happen he was feeding!” Panaro yells, unsure of what he’s actually saying.

“He could’ve killed us!” Kerik shoots back, still ready to attack.

“You know just as well as I do that he wouldn’t.” Panaro defends. “He just needs to learn how to control it.”

“Even if we do, we can’t be sure that it can be trusted.”

“It? Are you listening to yourself? That’s still Karimloo over there! Can’t you find it somewhere in yourself to see that?!”

“I want to, Merik! I want to believe that it’s him!” Kerik shouts, a single tear rolling. “Do you think I want to kill one of our own? I want to trust him… but how can I when-”

Kerik’s emotional outpour was paused by a white flash entering the room. The fighting men looked to the spot on the ground where the fluff ball went curiously. The stake Kerik held in his hand slipped to the ground when he saw Ayesha in Karimloo’s lap, purring as happy as can be.

“She’s… she’s never done that to one of them before…. She always…. Attacks…” Kerik is at a loss for words.

Karimloo scoops up the cat and walks over to Kerik. Handing her to him, Karimloo looks into the Hunter’s eyes. Kerik nods and takes Karimloo’s hand with his free one, Ayesha perched in his left.

“I’ll help,” He says, looking between the two Meriks. “Let’s get to work.”

#IT WORKED #HERES THE REST OF IT #nnyl whispers #vampanarimloo #panarimloo #erik house #phantom of the opera #fanfiction #ramin karimloo #hugh panaro #ayesha #vampire #kerik #kay!erik

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k-s-morgan · 4 years ago

Note

Really liked how you explained Will's feeling when he came to shoot Hannibal. I am still trying to understand the series, will start a second rewatch pretty soon. Do you think in his conflicts at that stage Will thought Hannibal was just a psychopath ?

Thank you! And yes, I think Will feared that Hannibal isn’t capable of deep connections, empathy, and love. Obviously, there might be different interpretations here, but from how I see it, Will kept being torn between trusting himself and accepting that Hannibal loves him vs. doubting that Hannibal’s feelings are real.

I always read Will as someone arrogant yet deeply insecure. He feels horribly betrayed by Hannibal at the start of S2, and after this, despite all the evidence, he’s only partly sure that Hannibal really wants him. He has a dream where Hannibal confesses his love for him, but it looks like Will doesn’t trust it entirely. The thing stopping him in S2 is Abigail’s death. He accepts that Hannibal framed him and his justification for it, he accepts that Hannibal wanted him to Become all along, but he cannot comprehend how he could kill Abigail when he claimed to care about her. If this is how he cares, then why would Will be different? If Hannibal readily sacrifices Abigail, then what makes Will stand out from her or even from patients like Randall and Margot, who Hannibal liked but whose relevance was limited?

Of course, the truth is that Hannibal didn’t kill Abigail. He did take the Murder Family plans seriously, he took risks for it and for Abigail in particular, and all he wanted was Will. Will sees it clearly in Mizumono, but it is too late. Abigail dies for real this time, yet how does he react? He loses his head from his longing for Hannibal. Will’s reverent about him; he spends 8 months thinking about him, remembering their last meeting and fantasising about it going differently; he’s brooding in Hannibal’s house, he refuses to hide how he feels even when talking to Jack and Alana, and he’s building a boat to sail after him. In Primavera, Will acts ridiculously in love: this is the episode where he is most open and loving toward Hannibal. That’s because he’s certain that Hannibal is fully capable of love and that he loves him. However, some doubts still plague him because of his overall insecurity. This mix of his Primavera monologues is very telling (I’m changing pronouns because Will is talking to himself there).

Will: He gave me a chance to take it all back, and I just kept lying ... He left me his broken heart. He misses me.

Then he immediately contradicts himself:

Will: Hannibal follows several trains of thought at once without distraction from any, and one of the trains is always for his own amusement. He's playing with me. Always. I still want to go with him?

So, he’s almost sure that Hannibal loves him, but the fear is still there. And once Will sees Chiyoh, another person Hannibal was supposed to love yet abandoned, when he sees Bedelia, alive and well, playing the role of Hannibal’s wife, his doubts resurface with new intensity. He’s not certain Hannibal is capable of loving him if this is how easily he replaced him, if he never bothered with people like Chiyoh, and if he tried to kill him (the brain-sawing thing. Sure, Will was actually the instigator, but he loves blaming others, so I’m sure he’s bitter at Hannibal because of it for a while.) This is how I see the shift in Will’s perception from Primavera to Digestivo.

I believe he fully acknowledged Hannibal’s love, with no doubts this time, after an attack on Molly. Will’s attitude changes then - he becomes confident, cocky, hurtful, and teasing at the same time. Hence his TWOTL decisions.

#hannibal #hannigram #will graham #meta

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linkspooky · 7 years ago

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Tokyo Ghoul vs Literature: Red Dragon - A Metaphor for Hide and Kaneki’s Relationship

Sorry about the delay in this one, I actually lost the book Red Dragon fro awhile and I had to go find it. Anyway this time around we’re gong to look at a character I don’t talk about as often, Hide. During one of the flashes to Hide’s room we’re presented with a brief collection of his interests as mostly a background element. While the various manga volumes do show how his tastes clash with Kaneki, the one that stands out the most in a Red Dragon poster.

Let’s explore the connection between the two underneath the cut.

Hide’s tastes tend to be more mainstream, at least from a western perspective. Apparently he also enjoys watching American movies and listening to American music, I’m not sure exactly how distinct that is from a japanese perspective but I think even from a mainstream taste Red Dragon sticks out as a weird thing to fixate on. It’s more on the pulp side of things.

In particular it’s a pulp detective novel, or crime focus novel that belongs to the hannibal series. This is a series which primarily focuses on the FBI trying to investigate serial killers with distinct profiles and one of the main characters Hannibal, is a psychologist who eats people. The connection to Tokyo Ghoul is rather obvious on a surface level, this poster is even drawn attention to while Hide is watching on the news about the expanding investigations in Aogiri’s 11th ward base.

While at the same time thinking of Kaneki.

A Book About Relationships

So while one could say that Red Dragon is connected to Tokyo Ghoul because it features a character who is a serial killer who also eats people and Tokyo Ghoul has two such characters (Torso, and Donato who is the much clearer Hannibal Parallel), I think the much stronger link is that Red Dragon itself is a metaphor for Hide and Kaneki’s relationship. Especially since the Red Draon poster is specifically shown when Hide is thinking about Kaneki.

There’s also another reason I think that supports this interpreted connection of mine, that being that Red Dragon itself while still being a crime novel that plot wise revolves around solving a crime, is thematically about the people and circumstances that surround that crime and one of the most prominent and repeating circumstances is all of the unhealthy relationships shown again and again throughout the novel.

To make my point consider that the novel Red Dragon at this point has three primary adaptations, two movies Red Dragon (2002) and Manhunter (1986). Red Dragon being a remake which recast Hannibal as Anthony Hopkins after he popularized the role in the film adaptation of Silence of the Lambs. The third adaptation is a Hannibal Tv Series that ran from (2013-2015) and while featuring a lot of original content is primarily an adaptation of once again the content of Red Dragon, serving as a prequel, midquel and sort of sequel? Anyway my point is Manhunter the original film focused on the crime, and just like in the novel Hannibal has minimal scenes because Silence of the Lambs had yet to popularize the character. When it was remade then in 2002 into Red Dragon, Anthony Hopkins was given more screentime and inevitably more interaction between the character of Will Graham and Hannibal. Which finally culminates in the series Hannibal which is almost entirely about exploring the strange relationship between Will and Hannibal.

The question is why did this escalating change of focus from a straightforward serial killer story, to a thriller that focuses primarily on the personal relationship between protagonist and antagonist. Is it because Hannibal is a popular character and he just got increasingly more screentime? However, if Red Dragon were all along about portraying unhealthy relationships, then these successive adaptations could just be getting closer and closer to portraying what is the real meat of the story as time went on. Which is really what a good adaptation should do, find out what the meat is, what worked about the original and retain that part while adding your own. The hannibal TV series which is generally considered to be a good and well liked adaptation primarily focuses on that, the characters and character relationships that come about surrounding the crimes, while the crimes themselves are more of a framing device.

Then the question is if Red Dragon is a novel primarily about exploring unhealthy relationships, then how does that relate to Tokyo Ghoul, or particularly the unhealthy elements of Hide and Kaneki’s relationship.

A Dangerous Empathy

Red Dragon’s main plot is as follows, Detective Will Graham is called out from a peaceful existence he is currently living in, in attempt to recover after retiring frm the FBI near permanently after capturing Hannibal severely hurt him mentally. The place he lives in is nearly a soft paradise of sorts, with a wife who fell in love with him specifically to heal him and her son, and several large dogs. However an old friend pressures him to help him take up a new serial killer case.

“What you did for Crawford was bad for you. He has a whole lot of people - the whole damn government I guess - why can’t he just leave us alone?” - Molly

“Didn’t Crawford tell you that? He was my supervisor those two times I left the FBI academy to go back to the field. Those two cases were the only ones like this he’s ever had, and Jack’s been working a long time. Now he’s got a new one. That kind of psycopath is very rare and he knows I’ve got... experience.”

-Will

Red Dragon page 7

Jack Crawford and Will Graham are by the way, the first unhealthy relationship set up in the book. Jack while confident in Will’s abilities also seems fixated on him in a way. He believes only Will is capable of solving these crimes, and therefore drags him back in by guilt tripping him that it specifically has to be him to save these human lives on the line. Even though Will himself is not mentally ready to be back on the field, Jack specifically manipulates his relationship with Will to propel him there anyway.

Will is a character with many parallels to Kaneki, in particular he has an overdeveloped sense of empathy despite having no social skills whatsoever. In the same way that Kaneki seems to paradoxically have well developed empathy but also an inability to practically apply that and form normal working relationships with those around him.

The particular way in which Graham parallels Kaneki though is that he is a crimminal profiler with the FBI, and one who is particularly famous for being able to understand the minds of serial killers.

“You took off your gloves didn’t you, the powder came out of a rubber glove as you pulled it off to touch her, DIDN’T IT YOU SON OF A BITCH.” - Will Red Dragon, page 25

This quite clearly relates to Kaneki’s ability not only to relate to ghouls, but also to see himself in the worst types of people. As you can see though the connection Will makes are intensive, and he lives with a constant fear that because he’s able to think so much like a Serial Killer, that he in fact relates to them because of their militarizes.

Will then realizes after an examination of the killer’s crimescene that he has been called to investigate (currently nicknamed the Toothfairy for his habit of taking teeth), that he can only proceed further with the case by consulting with the serial killer he captured on his previous case, a psychologist known as Hannibal Lecter. The relationship between Hannibal Lecter and Graham represent the second major unhealthy relationship in the series. Rather than pressuring Will into doing things he does not want though, Lecter is much more antagonistic and seems to want to prove that he and Will are similar. His reasons for doing so are vague, and either boil down to some genuine affection for somebody who was capable of matching him as an equal, or a want to prove that Graham despite imprisoning him wasn’t an equal and will fall to his level (those sound like two completely different things but as I said it’s ambiguous).

This is another relationship that is mirrored in Tokyo Ghoul which I will touch upon briefly, and that is in the strange cooperation and respect that Donato and Sasaki seem to share.

The narrative brings this up specifically, that Donato is an unrepetant killer who sells out other ghouls in order to sustain his own safety while in the Cochlea. Captured, he’s almost pathetic no matter how much menace he is able to muster. Even while he was free, the only thing he could think of to do to sustain his so called ‘peaceful’ existence was to kill children. Beings that are fundamentally too weak to fight back, his self survival, his sustenance is always done by taking advantage of those weaker than him, and in that way all of his strength is a lie. It’s based on a twisted self value. An assumed self importance that he is above these things. Just like Donato, Haise relates to that, that impending feeling of his own demise that makes him want to indulge in peace even if it’s a lie rather than face his own feelings.

The comparison raises the question is Haise living the same as Donato to an extent? Even if he does not relish the murders, isn’t the CCG providing him with both a continued secure way of living, people above and under him to make him feel secure, and also an outlet for his violence that tells him it’s good actually to kill these people because ghouls are bad and deserve to die. Isn’t Haise killing ghouls en masse (he’s an osthmanthus award winner) and without mercy, not because he believes it will protect people but merely to protect his own existence?

That’s all I am going to talk about Donato though, because this is supposed to be primarily a thread about Hide. The question is what part of the novel reminds me of Hide and Kaneki’s relationship, and that lies in the last part of the novel.

There are two more unhealthy relationships, that between Will and the Tooth Fairy as he begins to investigate the other, and also the Tooth Fairy and a Blind Girl which he meets and starts a romantic relationship with.

I think these two things, 1) this element of pursuit and investigation is something that parallels the general arc of Kaneki and Hide’s relationship quite strongly and 2) the codepdendence that emerges from the relationship between the Tooth Fairy and the blind woman, parallels the fatal flaw in their relationship that caused it’s tragic end at the end of Tokyo Ghoul.

The rest of this analysis will be broken down into disseminating those two parts.

Pursuing the Red Dragon

The second half of the novel is an investigation where Graham purses the Tooth Fairy, while the Tooth Fairy pursues his own obsession. See, the book is called Red Dragon because of a characteristic picture of a Red Dragon on the killer’s back.

It is actually a watercolour painting by English Poet William Blake, called ‘The Great Red DRagon, and the Woman Clothed in Sun’ which is based off of a passage from the revelations.

And behold a great red dragon, having seven heads and ten horns, and seven crowns upon his heads. And his tail drew the third part of the stars of heaven, and did cast them to the earth.

— (Rev. 12:3-4,KJV)

Interpreting revelations is weird, so I’m just going to give you the short of it, the Red Dragon is basically symbolic for Lucifer/Satan. In the same way that the Black Goat, and Kaneki’s journey through that narrative is a parallel to the mythological role of Lucifer as a challenger of God’s authority.

Kaneki is tied to Lucifer just like the main serial killer in Red Dragon but it goes beyond this. The tooth fairy’s reason for pursuing the Red Dragon is because he believes through his obsession with this painting, he can achieve perfection and then transform into the Red Dragon. The Red Dragon is like a developing second personality that he attempts to grow, and then control, the same way the centipede Kakuja is something Kaneki nurtures and a power he tries to make use of in order to become a perfect and whole ghoul through cannibalism.

The Red Dragon starts to overtake him, the same way that Kaneki is unable to control his centipede Kakuja. In a last ditcha ttempt to control it, the Tooth Fairy even eats the Red Dragon painting thinking that consuming it will somehow give him domination, but the Red Dragon instead eats him from the inside.

The parallel to Kaneki is pretty clear, but then what of Hide? Remember though, just as Kaneki spends the latter half of Tokyo Ghoul paralleling the Red Dragon, then Hide is the clear parallel to the detective pursuing the Red Dragon.

Hide’s arc in the second half of TG is joining with the CCG with the explicit purpose fo tracking down kaneki who has disappeared without a word. Hide in general displays two qualities that are very detective like, deductive reasoning ability that follows his natural curiosity, and also quick thinking.

He uses this at one point to be able to plant a tracking device on Yamori, which is part of what tips the CCG off to the location of the 11th ward. This might just be a natural tendency that comes from Hide’s personality and also his most significant relationship.

Let me explain simply, in their relationship Hide acts as a detective who pursues Kaneki, even before one of them was ghoulified. This is for two reasons, one that he has the ability too. Hide is for the most part shown to be unempathic. Not that that makes him a bad person, but he is basically able to set up several ghouls who were threatening him, up for their deaths by CCG officers without really blinking. While he is curious about ghouls he doesn’t really empathize with them. There is only a few people he seems to emotionally invest in, and that is Kaneki. The rest of the people he is able to manage with his advanced social skills without even needing to empathize with them. Unlike Kaneki, Hide is easily able to socialize with people, but has a hard time empathically connecting to them. he is the inverse in a way that compliments Kaneki, which is often when Kaneki is being socially indecisive, Hide is the one to interject directly for him.

As observed here in champter six where Kaneki isn’t even able to do something as simple as say no to an offhand request for him to join a club and Hide has to do it for him basically.

Kaneki relies on Hide to basically notice things on his own, and then speak up for him. Things that are personal to Kaneki, that Kaneki really should be figuring out for himself. Hide is Kaneki’s sole positive relationship at this point yes, but also Kaneki derives basically all of his emotional intelligence and funcitonality by relying on Hide. Hide is his place in the world in more way then one.

It’s a comfortable existence more than anything else. Kaneki was not truly happy before he turned into a ghoul, but he was comfortable, and unchallenged and managed to keep his anxiety mainly under wraps. When Kaneki mourns his former life one has to wonder, does he mourn the happy days gone by with Hide, or the fact that he used to be able to just live his life simply by relying on Hide.

Much later we get to see Hide’s perspective on their own friendship, and Hide is not presented as the omnipotent detective Kaneki shows at the beginning of the story, but rather as a person filled with his own worries and concerns.

Kaneki always hiding his troubles from Hide meant, Hide had to as a result if he wanted to understand Kaneki, get good at investigating others personality’s. It was a skill he develops to compliment Kaneki. The two of them seem to fit rather well together, Kaneki who hides everything and puts a smile on his face, and Hide who is able to see through that act and able to know and help him figure out his own emotions.

That is their relationship, much like the detective and his target Kaneki recedes into himself and Hide chases trying to investigate him to figure it out.

However, a complimentary codependence =/= a good relationship. Not only are Hide and Kaneki both fixated on one another that they’d go to great lengths to save each other (some would say unhealthy lengths), but Kaneki also seems to carry an overly idealized image of Hide as a ‘cool savior’ rather than just somebody who genuinely cared about him, and felt anxiety and worry too when Kaneki withheld and hid his pain.

In good circumstances they can actually learn from each other. Hide can learn about empathy from Kaneki, because he obviously admires Kaneki’s own caring for other people and soft nature. While from Hide, Kaneki can learn social skills so he can actually put his empathy into work in deliberately forming relationships instead of passively just hoping for them to happen.

However in bad circumstances you get the unwinding that is experienced at the end of Tokyo Ghoul and parts of :Re where Kaneki and Hide are not allowed to stand side by side of each other as friends.

Love Doesn’t Actually Redeem

At least love without communication doesn’t. That is the main problem with Kaneki and Hide’s relationship, they don’t properly communicate so the two of them end up having really warped and partially idealized versions of the other in their head.

In Red Dragon there is a romantic subplot between the killer and a blind woman. This could obviously also be connected to Hide and Kaneki as Hide is generally kept symbolically blind of Kaneki’s activities as a ghoul, the same way the blind woman is unable to see that the Tooth Fairy is a killer due to her disability. She gets close to instead his civilian personality, and for what it is worth he genuinely does start to care about her.

However he believes love will fix him, while at the same time lying to her about a significant part of himself. That he is in fact a killer. While doing so he really denies himself the possibility of having a genuine relationship with her.

This resembles the way Kaneki decided to abandon Hide halfway through the manga while also placing far too much importance on him. Kaneki admits this in :Re, that he was too paralyzed by the desire to see him again to actually try to do something about his separation from Hide. That, and his words to Amon that are specifically about Hide, that even if Hide were to return he would be too afraid that he would lose him again.

Kaneki projects so much importance to Hide that it gets in the way of their actual friendship. He lets his fear of separation from Hide control him, and then physically seaparates himself from Hide, it’s very self defeating in the end.

That is in a way the same way the Tooth Fairy is defeated. Love fails to redeem him, but it opens up just a big enough hole in his psyche that he starts to make mistakes and spiral towards his own downfall. When Kaneki remembers himself finally, the first thing he remembers is Hide. His idealization starts back up againto the point where it starts to control him entirely. Rather than trying to become the centipede this time around though, Kaneki tries to become like Hide. (This is also after devouring him, lots of devouring connections to Red Dragon).

In a way though in this scene Kaneki isn’t just idealizing Hide, he’s using the ideal of him as an excuse. This is where Kaneki’s behavior change from passive to active. He knows that Hide was trying to save him, but now uses Hide’s name and memory as an excuse basically to throw away his own life. Something he knows subonsciously is the last thing Hide would want, but also elects to ignore. It’s not until Hide physically manifests within him (the same way the Red Dragon also appeared as hallucinatory before the tooth fairy), that Kaneki began to see what he was doing.

The most important thing that Brain Ghost Hide! imparts upon Kaneki though is that simple fact, that he’s not real. The image of Hide that Kaneki carried with him all along was a false one, Hide the smart one, Hide my chain to ther est of the world, Hide the symbol of my human untained self, Hide the perfect savior, those were all a projection on Kaneki’s part.

All Hide ever wanted was to walk by Kaneki’s side. That is why their codependency as it stands in the manga right now was unhealthy, because Kaneki’s fixation on Hide is exactly what prevented them from just simply being together as equals.

#meta #tg meta #tokyo ghoul meta #hideyoshi nagachika #kaneki ken #tokyo ghoul theory #red dragon #donato porpora

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