#halsin: whos Christ

[bg3ramblingstuff]

Tav: hope you had fun :)

Halsin: yeah it was really good and fun. Reminded me of the time I spent three years tied up to a bed as a sex slave. It's so fun to recall these misadventures of my youth, and how wondrous and fascinating oak father made underdark nature :)

Tav: *so shocked he forgets Christianity isn't canon* My brother in Christ -

[animentality]

Like who cares if straight girls are romancing Astarion, it’s more worrying that you think Astarion needs to get “railed” because talk about misunderstanding a character totally

It was a joke but continue to be mad that I find a character sexually attractive in a way different than you :)

[cyber-dogz]

if you guys have also been getting constant ads for those bg3 companion candles and are debating on getting them or are just curious in general i just want to say. i got the halsin and the astarion ones and

jesus actual christ

as someone who tends to be very picky about smells and candles in general, they smell very VERY nice, and then for them representing the characters??? absolutely on point. i felt like i was literally holding a bottled astarion scent . like that is perfectly how they would smell. and then the QUALITY of the candles is insane. from the jar to even the lid, i never thought i could like a candle so much. i really wanna get the rest of the candles now tbh . i need one the size of my head actually.

[propheticfire]

Having thoughts/vibes about Halsin as the Oak King and Astarion as the Holly King. Originally wrote this on Twitter but I've cleaned it up a bit and am posting here too. Halsin as the Oak King because obviously? Astarion as the Holly King is a bit of a stretch, but doable.

I just find the Oak King & Holly King story enchanting. Of course I'm super soft so I prefer the version where they transfer power peacefully rather than fight to the death for it 😂 I don't think that's unreasonable in our modern age. And I'm not even invested in the change in power so much as I enjoy the character archetypes themselves. One king full of life and vigor who presides over the light half of the year, and one more secretive and subtle who rules the dark half.

Halsin as the Oak King is pretty obvious: his association with the Oak Father, fighting the darkness shadow curse, and his literal embodiment of druidry in canon. The Oak King/Holly King story isn't specifically druidic, historically, but it's popular in many neopagan traditions. Halsin is full of life and vigor. Of the fertile wildness of spring and summer. He cares for things that grow and thrive in the wilderness, and has little desire to temper his hot-blooded nature. He's so passionate and it shows in everything he does. Very Oak King of him.

Astarion as the Holly King is less about the obvious parallels and more based on vibes, plus the fact that I need someone to balance Halsin's Oak King plus I ship them, but there are still valid comparisons, I think, that can be made.

The Holly King rules the dark half of the year, the time when the plants die and fall dormant, domestic cattle were traditionally slaughtered, and the land and the people rest. It wasn't guaranteed that you'd survive through fall and winter, so death was even more on people's minds. Darkness and death and blood are the obvious comparisons, with Astarion being a vampire. Holly berries symbolize blood (that of Christ) in some Christian traditions, and the holly's evergreen nature can be compared to undeath. Astarion veils his intentions and motivations and actions, and moves in the shadows. He's learned to make the darkness—both literal and metaphorical—his own. He excels in it.

It's hard, though, to talk about Astarion's skills and penchants without acknowledging the centuries he spent as Cazador's slave. It wasn't really by choice that he developed the tendencies he did. And he loves the sun, he really does.

But I don't think that's antithetical to the Holly King. In the midst of darkness, on what's supposed to be the Holly King's height of power, on the winter solstice, we celebrate the return of the sun. And then the darkness wanes, until the Holly King gives up his power once more. And no matter what in-game path you choose—whether he gets his chance from seizing more power and ascending, or from the promise of continued adventure and undiscovered possibilities—Astarion still gets excited over the thought of returning to the sun.

That was much longer than I intended, oops. But there are my thoughts on Halsin as the Oak King and Astarion as the Holly King. Gosh I wish I had the patience and energy to draw them like that. I'd make them so regal and stuffed with symbolism.

[drowfag]

Every time i go through the astarion tag either on tumblr or ao3, I just make myself fucking miserable from the disparity between him shipped with f!tav vs m!tav & nb!tav. It's not even an issue if there was just more content that got more attention than f/m, especially since it's even worse for halsin/m!tav. i'm just tired of constantly getting the short end of the stick in fandom spaces, especially since I came out and transitioned and realized my attraction towards men. That wealth of fan content that was there when my egg hadn't cracked isn't there anymore, and only coming to realize it kinda sucks shit. On Astarion fan servers, I'm only one of the few gay men on the server and feel weird when I don't have Astarion settle down with my Tav and get married and have kids. I went from feeling like I belonged in fandom spaces when I still identify as a cis bi girl into an outsider who can't relate to the gender I once belonged to.

i forget how heteronormative the rest of the fanbase is outside of tumblr to the point that people create mods to remove queer content or refer to Astarion's lover with only she/her pronouns. it's incredibly isolating to be a queer man in fandom, especially as a trans man. i'm not targeting bi people by saying he almost feels fetishizied by straight women because of his queerness which is a real issue that bi men face in f/m relationships like I was with my last partner. it doesn't help terfs will occasionally post in the tag mocking gay trans men and calling us straight women.

vague about me all you want, but at least a majority of fandom caters to you and the lifestyle you live, and you aren’t attacked for your gender identity and sexuality by transphobes in a game with literally no mentions or representative of transmasc people or AFAB enbies. it's even worse when you dare to headcanon him as asexual and people come out of the woodwork to accuse you of taking away his agency despite being a survivor yourself. the casual queerphobia of the fandom is not lost on me as someone with multiple intersecting identities that spend time on servers outside of Tumblr. i don't even feel safe going on larger general bg3 discord servers because of rampant transphobia and homophobia.

i'm tired of not being able to express my frustration with the wider fandom without being accused of misogyny and biphobia by people who literally have tons of representation in literally every aspect of life from a game that didn't even bother to remember people like me even exist except for a small inclusion to give my male character a vagina as an afterthought. jesus fucking christ people created a mod to remove what little lgbt content is in the game, what the fuck.

[thelikesoffinn]

I guess Orin wants to fuck me. (Act 3 Spoilers)

.

.

.

So. After fighting the Giths below the Elf Song Tavern, I threw in a long rest to replenish those depleted spell slots.

Nothing unusual happened, just Halsin dropping something along the lines of "I want to fuck you gently beneath the moonlight - and Astarion too, if he feels like it".

I said no, rested and immediately went back to exploring the Emperors hide out - only to have "Halsin" rush in, waxing about how we all gon' die if we don't run and of course that wasn't Halsin at all, it was Orin who snatched Halsin away.

Now.

I knew she was there somewhere since Gortash told me. That, in conclusion, means that she's likely been Halsin this entire time.

And now I can't shed this mental Image - Orin the Red, Chosen of Bhaal and certified crazy arse bitch, not only deduced that Halsin somehow would want to fuck my Dark Urge girl, no, she decided she'd do it too.

Like, Jesus fucking Christ, talk about dedication to the craft.

[lakemojave]

Tonight at 6pm Pacific: The Direct Actors, a Baldur's Gate 3 "Adventure" ep. 13!

For those who may have missed last week's episode, welcome! Everything is totally fine and normal in the party this week. The party is doing great, the quest is doing great, and the fabric of space and time is doing great! Come see @radiofreederry play Dhudlei Durite, elf paladin, my friends Nana and April play Leviathan, Dragonborn Dark Urge Monk, @caputvulpinum play Micah Harper, Tiefling Cleric, and me play Delilah "Mama D" Harper, Halfling Bard!

Art by @terrafey, recap under the cut. See y'all then!

THE STORY SO FAR: On the way to a union rally, Delilah "Mama D" Harper and her grandson Micah were abducted and taken aboard an ilithid nautiloid, which they escaped with mysterious dancer Leviathan and self-proclaimed "Champion of Ilmater and Paladin of Good" Dhudlei Durite. Each infected by a mind flayer tadpole, but so far immune from transforming into mind flayers themselves, The Direct Actors, as the party have come to be known, now turn their attention to the Shadow-Cursed Lands, where Moonrise Towers, the lair of the Cult of the Absolute, awaits them...

LAST TIME: Jesus Christ where to fucking start.

After returning to Halsin with the lute of Art Cullagh, the archdruid finally determined a way to recover Thaniel, the spirit of the land, who held the key to breaking the shadow curse. Halsin entered the Shadowfell, leaving the Direct Actors behind to guard the portal. After a clash with shadow cursed creatures and people on the lakeshore, in which Dhudlei gave a taste of his full power, Thaniel was recovered.

Back at camp, while Halsin determined next steps, Lae'zel awoke Dhudlei from his slumber, and admitted that her feelings for him had grown deep and abiding, and the two engaged in ritual combat to seal their bond as official romantic partners. In the morning, Halsin tasked the party with seeking out Thaniel's other half, which they found in an abandoned shack in the shadow-cursed lands. After a deadly game of hide and seek and a battle in a courtyard, the Direct Actors were able to convince Thaniel's other half to return where it belonged. The party then descended into Ketheric Thorm's secret shrine to Shar, where Micah used his devotion to Ilmater to trick his way through a series of Sharran tests, before the party fought their way out against a set of animated armor.

After a return to camp, Thaniel informed the Direct Actors that for the curse to be fully lifted, Ketheric Thorm must be killed. Dhudlei encouraged Micah about his newfound faith in Ilmater, and Leviathan chastised Dhudlei about his continued reticence in talking to Micah about their relationship. On the way back to the inn, the party passed through Reithwin Tollhouse, where Leviathan talked the undead tax collector Gerringothe Thorm to death.

Back at the inn, Mama D shared a drink with Jaheira who directed the party upstairs, where it was revealed that Dhudlei's goddaughter Isobel was still alive. The party rescued her and the inn from an attack by Absolute cultists, but after the battle was finished Leviathan gave into his dark urge, attacking and killing Isobel and dooming everyone in the inn to death. As Dhudlei killed Leviathan in vengeance for his goddaughter and held off the newly shadow-cursed dwellers at the inn, Micah fled back to camp with Mama D, where he employed the powers of New Gale to reset the timeline, with only Micah and Mama D remembering what had happened. Micah managed to keep Leviathan away from Isobel in time to save her life, and the party returned to camp.

Mama D and Micah had a talk about what had happened, before Dhudlei discussed his previous companions and their mortality with Micah. Dhudlei confessed that he had grown to care for both Lae'zel and Micah, and extended an invitation for Micah to travel with him after their adventure concluded, which Micah accepted. However, despite promising no secrets between them, Micah did not tell Dhudlei what had happened before the timeline was reset.

That night, Leviathan's butler appeared and commanded the dragonborn to kill Wyll to make up for sparing Isobel. However, Leviathan resisted his urge and his bloodthirsty other half, and the party emerged from the night unscathed. In the morning, Leviathan intimidated Micah, who had witnessed everything, into staying quiet, with both halves of Leviathan seemingly fighting one another for control...

Will Leviathan be able to keep his urge in check? What other dangers remain in the shadow-cursed lands? Will Micah tell Dhudlei the truth? What awaits our heroes at Moonrise Towers? Find out in another exciting installment of Baldur's Gate 3, starring the Direct Actors!

[majorasnightmare]

like this dude just constantly has a headache. nausea that waxes and wanes with how indoors he can be thru circumstances. waukeens rest puts him on his ass for an entire day afterwards because he inhaled so much smoke scavenging everything that wasnt nailed down. goes an entire act with only nettie for help because shadowheart cant cure life threatening brain injuries or undiagnosed chronic conditions, and she isnt even a pharmacist she just asks god to kiss it better.

sleeps on basically a carpet in the middle of a clearing so theres zero barriers between his face and the rising sun so he gets a full powered level 6 Daylight directly to the face every single morning. party deduces its not the tadpoles fault and just kinda shrugs about it cuz what else can you do. gale just makes his peace with the fact that only about half of what he cooks is gonna stay in dirges stomach

has major insomnia on top of all of that so he only manages to pass out like 4ish hours before dawn anyways and right as the sleep starts getting good lathander dusts himself off and then turns a naval grade spotlight directly into dirges eyeballs like cool whatever who the fuck needs rem sleep anyways. everyone wakes up sometime after dawn but nobody can get moving because dirge is basically immobilized for several hours after waking up to a migraine thatd have even loviatar wince in sympathy

everyone just throws their hands up and shrugs their shoulders and goes on with life and halsin jokingly asks if dirge drank too much at the tiefling party cuz hes been vomitting and nauseous all morning, and then finds out this dudes just been living like this every day for weeks. absolutely horrifying. very obviously displaying clear symptoms of major brain injury ANNND got experimental eye surgery ON TOP of all that and doesnt even take IBUPROFEN for it???? and then 20 minutes later dirge gets diagnosed with Knife In Brain syndrome by a mindflayer while 90% of his symptoms evaporate thanks to being underground and halsin is just like Jesus Fucking Christ and puts him on the strongest painkillers he can salvage out of goblin guts and forest foliage

[sarcasticsra]

Baldur’s Gate 3 is my other current hyperfixation (I’ve had the game not even three weeks and nearly 100 hours in lol oops) and like

So I played through all of act 1 and then decided I hated my character’s hair, and since you can’t change your appearance (which is baffling to me? You can respec your whole class from the bottom up but not like… cut and dye your hair? Bizarre!) I made a new character

During the new character’s run I ran into Astarion, who I had missed the first time, and I was sort of displeased at first because through cultural osmosis I knew he would clash with my character

My Tav is a cleric/sorcerer and neutral/chaotic good to the end, she will rescue anyone who needs rescuing for naught but a thank you, so of course Astarion disapproves of her constantly

(She’s taken the strategy of being aggressively kind to him in turn, which is admittedly fun)

Of course, the little shit is too good at picking locks and disarming traps (+14! And advantage thanks to the gloves of thievery) so I’ve kept him in my party

I had Shadowheart and Gale as well (those were the only two I had in my first run) and since in my first run I flirted with Shadowheart, this time I went for Gale, because he’s a nerdy romantic sap and that’s adorbs (and he was in love with my Tav from the get go basically because he’s gotta be the most good-aligned character? Basically it went: “my character: *breathes* / Gale approves.” He was at exceptional really early into act 1)

And then in act 2 I found out you can add Halsin to your party, but I had to kick someone out to do so, and since Astarion is crucial for lock-picking and traps, Gale is my AOE damage dealer, and my character and Halsin both have access to healing spells, (side note: twinned spell + healing word, or distant spell + cure wounds = very effective) that meant Shadowheart was the most redundant

So now it’s my character and three dudes following her around, very 90s Chosen One, ~she’s not like other girls~ vibes, which admittedly cracks me up a bit, and I was joking with my husband that they were my harem

(None of these dweebs have any CHA so my character is the party face and of course the leader)

Except NOW I know you can romance Halsin in act 3, which, yes, but I’ve heard Gale is monogamous, so I’m hella conflicted on that, and then on top of that Astarion is growing on me to the point where I just want to hug him all the time (that scene with the drow lady who wanted him to bite her? And you’re just like “uh dude it’s obviously your choice” and he acts like that is the most revolutionary concept imaginable? Jesus Christ game, right to the feels) so now I’m like

Shit

Which one do I want

Why can I not have an actual harem, game???

[bg3fandomcritical-reactive]

"That user in specific gets extremely upset by the game giving people choices that harm Astarion. In the past they said they got anger issues from watching the orgy with Halsin and Astarion and that they had to quit the game for a while and go talk to an Astarion ai chatbot to calm down."

oh for the love of christ i wish people would stop using fucking ai chatbots. it feeds off of fanfiction, work that people do and upload for everyone to read for free!!! it baffles me how some people get so worked up about ai art and then then turn around and "talk" to ai bots. there are reader insert fanfics. there are writers who take requests or commissions. hells you can write your own fanfic to have for yourself. its infuriating how lazy some people are and not only are they contributing to this shit but they are literally fucking themselves up mentally. having anger issues over a scene where astarion has a bad experience and needing to "talk" to an ai bot is crazy and such people need serious help and to step away from the game for a good few months. you cannot be an adult (assuming they are adults cause it IS an adult game) and act like that, its straight up embarrassing

.

[ohwolfling]

Considering that BG3 has a character already who has a line implying that he thinks about things quite literally (Halsin), it's wild that so many shitposts default to making Gale the one who does that.

Yeah, I can see that, though I don't know which line you mean (please feel free to tell me, my brain is made of bees and glue).

I would even say that Lae'zel fits that trope of otherwordly, out of touch, overly explicit, a fish so out of water they have to learn humor and phrasing, etc perfectly without, and does so without being the butt of a joke, infantilized, or having her struggles and strife lessened. If that's an archetype you like, it is right there actually.

There is so much in fanon about Gale that is... listen, I believe in the purity of misandry. Girlboss, gatekeep, gaslight as a bit? Incredible. Bimboism? Yes, thank you, free me. But there is a kind of "I didn't grapple with a single theme in Gone Girl or Parasite," "I did not have to read and self analyze a single book in my educational experiences," "I am about to wield psychological language so incorrectly" kind of femininity on the internet that just... needs a guy to be a kind of thing.

It paints Gale as either a whining incel or fetishized simp, either way erasing the wealth of trauma and coercion he has experienced concretely in his backstory. It reduces Astarion to a sex object at the same time that it refuses to critique his more amoral impulses. It frankly ignores the existence of anyone else.

There is a weird tendency towards either fetishization or criminalization with anything masculine essentially. It's so far removed from anything the game hands you or anything about the actual characterization of Gale or anyone else.

There is no law that says that head canons need to be born out of the limitations of the "text" exclusively but Jesus Christ, I genuinely think so many people would black out or die if they had to read, experience, and formulate an independent thought about something like Tess of the d'Urbevilles or Wuthering Heights. It's just...

the crisis of media literacy is a blight on this land, even among the shitposts.

[sapphire-weapon]

i've realized what it is that pisses me the fuck off about baldur's gate 3

you need to have a guide up at all times in order to play the way you want to because the game is horribly unclear about which choice is the correct one and what you need to do in order to progress certain things.

i just lost like four hours of progress because i didn't trigger a specific sidequest when i was supposed to in order to recruit halsin to my party and made it all the way to act 3 before i realized "wait a minute this bitch never joined me"

but literally how the fuck was i supposed to know that i had to go talk to some random guy on a bed in town and that i had to do it before a specific point in act 2

i'm not saying you need to put quest markers over people's heads, but giving the player SOME kind of indication of what the fuck they're supposed to be looking for is a part of good game design. and yes i know the idea of bg3 is to immerse urself and roleplay but like

as a counterpoint to that

the percentage of people who are actually going to take the time to talk to every single last goddamn NPC when most of them have nothing of value to say is very very very low. so give me SOMETHING. jesus christ.

and in the four hours i lost are three extremely annoying fights that i basically had to save scum my way through and uuugggghhhhh

[aleisters]

Sex with Halsin so life changing make a man wanna fuck ... NOT himself ? Let's not go TOO far however perhaps the beefy druid is onto something about that. Free love nonsense. Who said that? Beat it.

i know this is beside the point but man i really have particular headcanons about why raphael "only loves himself" BUT part of those headcanons is that i honestly think haarlep finds it funny when raphael wants to fuck other people. like christ, finally my man

[concrete-beach-party]

druid grove, part 1

The first real post about my playthrough! woohoo!

So, we made it to the grove. Our party consists of my seldarin drow cleric, my partner's wood elf wizard, Astarion and Shadowheart.

They get attacked 

obviously this is the part where you find Wyll

one guy is BEGGING to be let into the grove like this:

We kill the attackers and enter the grove. I talk to the guy who wanted to flee and the guy who did not want to let him in

he's fucking racist against Drow and states "I didn't ask for help" - my dude, w h a t

Anyways, we reached level 3 and my partner is a wizard, so he was reading tooltips for the next 30 minutes. I decided to explore the grove in the meantime.

Side note: my character is not the smartest and fails INT checks due to literal disadvantage. But! Who needs intelligence when you have 🌟faith🌟?

I helped a hopelessly bad fighter fight a little better, he gifted me an axe for that, so that's cool

a bored oxe wants to talk to me, but I can't understand him

Note to self: We're missing a party member that can talk to animals

People here really don't like Drow. 

I almost got duped by that con artist kid, though the fact that I missed one perception check tells me that the little shits stole at least SOMETHING from me, 10/10 game

then I ran into a creepy little kid and found the hidden entrance to the Tiefling hideout

in this hideout I found the "boss" of the local crime syndicate. As I told them that they're in a dangerous line of work, they basically responded "you're not my real mom" - fair enough, I guess?

Don Tiefling wants me to steal the ritual stone/artifact/whateveritwascalled to stop the ritual. I'll keep it in mind.

Anyways, we proceeded further into the grove, finding out more about the ritual that is about to happen there.

A Tiefling family was missing their daughter because she too tried to steal the artifact. The druids have her.

Talking to the druids revealed that most of them are racist assholes. Like, 4/6 of the druids are like this and I'm confused, aren't you people supposed to be nature loving hippies??

Rath is begging me to find Halsin, because their new leadership (Kagha) is horrible. Judging from the rest of the druids I've talked to, maybe you got the leadership you people deserve. He is ok though and also wants to stop this ritual. So I guess I'll find Halsin to put an end to this madness.

we find a hidden door where we need a rune to open it. Rath is supposed to have it, but he's not talking to me until I find Halsin.

I wanted to pickpocket Rath, but for some reason, that's not possible

Nettie starts off as another Drow-hater, but reveals that's because she recently got attacked by a mind-flayer-infected Drow. Yeah, fair enough, that's why I'm here

Nettie thinks that apart from the whole mind flayer thing, I look perfectly sane and healthy. I try to tell her that's not the case (memory loss, the urge to kill everyone around me), but she's like "nah it's the mind flayer, can't do anything about it, find Halsin?"

Kagha herself thinks that I'm the second coming of Christ, because I'm a Drow therefore I CLEARLY support her goals, right? Sacrificing the lesser people for the greater good? Doing her dirty work? Yeah? Holy shit, this woman is insane. I wish there was a dark urge prompt at this point.

Shoutout to Astarion, who made snarky remarks all the time

That's where yesterday's session ended. Oh, and we sent Wyll to the camp.

[thepioden]

for the tav asks, 3, 4, 15, and 25?

THANKS I'D LOVE TO

Since you didn't specify, all extant Tavs' answers under the cut

3: Race and subclass?

Themistocles: Tiefling (Devil's Tongue Variant) Conjuration Wizard. He's also technically 1/4 dragon for '3rd generation adventurer' reasons but this is mechanically a nonissue because see above re: Tiefling.

Xilkalyn: Drow Twilight Cleric (thanks, Cleric Subclass Mods!) In the Vanilla game, he'd be a Light Cleric, but he's also my PC from Waterdeep Dragon Heist, where he is a Twilight Cleric of Selune.

Revka: Brass Dragonborn Open-Hand Monk. She's my only girl who wasn't a 5e PC I'm re-using and therefore she gets No Modded Special Privileges or Background.

4: If your Tav was a companion, where would they be found?

T: You probably have to rescue his dipshit tail from that adventuring party in the temple ruins. "Talk fast eat ass" does not get you very far in the wilderness, turns out.

X: Has contrived to get himself to the druid grove and is probably hanging out with Wyll and making himself insufferably useful. Doesn't feel great about the Drow cadaver on the slab in Nettie's chambers though I'll tell you what.

R: You have to break up a fight between her and Astarion, because she wandered into him first, he tried the knife thing, and they got into a STR 8 DEX-off stalemate.

15: What NPC's do they like? Which one's do they dislike?

T: Likes - He has latched on to Rolan like some sort of nerdy leech. Wants to talk Wizard shit and also smack him upside the head also maybe smooch his dumb face? (This is a problem Tim has with a lot of people, including favorite NPC number 2:) Dammon, who he wants to come live in their camp and make them cool magic items. He likes that Dammon is competent but also a fucking weirdo. Tell Tim about the Hells, Dammon. Spare no detail. Dislikes - Lorroakan. That dude is a disgrace to Wizardry, what the fuck. Headcanon that he has Professional Wizard Beef with him from before the game timeline. Raphael. You're just a Cambion, motherfucker, calm down. Same to you, Mizora. You could do better, Wyll. Enver Gortash, because he dicked over Best Girl Karlach Cliffgate.

X: Likes - Xilkalyn actually recruits Minthara (now that you can do it without committing atrocities), so Halsin is his favorite! They get along, being relatively well-adjusted. He's extremely fond of Alfira, because he has a terminal soft-spot for Bards and she's very Nice. He feels religiously obligated to like Dame Aylin but she's. Intense. He's mostly intimidated by Dame Aylin. Dislikes - Holy shit on a stick but Viconia DeVir. She is a microcosm of so much generational trauma and also so much Kalyn Is Actively A Selunite and so much This Is Why People Don't Like Us. The Emperor. Xilkalyn extended so much benefit of the doubt and for what, man. For fucking what.

R: Likes - Has big-sisterly feeling towards Mol that are probably unwarranted and are certainly unreciprocated. Simps for Nine-Fingers because her taste in women is "dangerous." Much like Tim, also think Lucretious is Neat. Blurg and Omeluum! They're chill dudes, she respects what they've got going down, calm down, Lae'zel. Dislikes - the Zhentarim. Rugan didn't deserve that, probably. Orin, because, Jesus Christ, also, give Lae'zel back >:(

25: What arcana major best represents your Tav?

T: Wheel of Fortune

X: The Hanged Man

R: The Chariot

[lewis-winters]

sorry, u can ignore this if u like but i been wanting to ask this queztion for days: who would the bob bous romance in bauldurs gate 3 do u think?

anon, I want you to know I fucking screamed when I saw this in my inbox like no fucking joke thank you for this overlap in my recent obsessions idk how to explain the absolute JOY this gave me the moment I saw it

first of all. i don't know if david webster would hate gale or if he would like gale. gale "of waterdeep" dekarios is just david webster but with magical powers and a very toxic ex girlfriend. do you understand me? do you get it? do you see the vision? either he hates him because like repels like, or he loves him because he sees something familiar in him and web's a little self-absorbed that way. DO YOU UNDERSTAND, TELL ME YOU UNDERSTAND--

second, let's get this out of the way. speirs WOULD play dark urge. he would play dark urge and enjoy killing people. that has nothing to do with who he romances. i just need you to know that i think he would enjoy being the faerun's anti-christ and bhaal-daddy's favorite little boy. speirs would ALSO go for gale, mostly because he'd be VERY intrigued by gale's ambition as well as endeared by how gentle he is as a character. he's like... that's my slightly fucked up little guy!

third-- you just want to know who'll go for astarion, would you? you just wanna know, don'tcha? well i have an answer for you-- the answer is lip, malarkey, chuck, web, and dick! the ones who give you very strong omg i can fix him vibes. dick would be very upset if he accidentally ascends astarion though, are you fucking kidding me? he'd be SO upset.

bill guarnere and alton more would go for him, too, because they're chaotic. they'll do their damnedest to ascend astarion. and also because they're horny and astarion is unfortunately their beautiful princess with a disorder.

LEWIS NIXON WOULD HATE ASTARION DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME??? HE WOULD SEE HIM AS A MIRROR THAT REFLECTS ALL HIS WORST TRAITS BACK AT HIM DO YOU UNDERSTAND? DO YOU GET IT? lewis nixon WOULD however? go for wyll or gale, because they're both gentlemen, and lewis likes gentlemen. or he'd go for halsin, because if lewis nixon is anything, he is RIDDLED with daddy issues. though if he went for halsin he'd prolly break up with him in the end.

babe heffron would also go for wyll or halsin if he's playing a tav that's a bit closer to who he is irl. he might also go for karlach, because i feel like babe's type in men is the exact opposite of his type in women? like, he'd want a tall and buff lady who could break him in half but be real sweet about it, ya know? he might also go for shadowheart but fumble it so so so badly. he'd misclick and accidentally tell her he wants to break up.

eugene roe would find karlach and wyll very endearing and would go for one of them for sure. he'd view it as a win when they all end the game together in avernus. eugene roe can have a girlfriend and a boyfriend at the same time. as a treat.

i headcanon that harry likes mean girls (my iteration of kitty grogan is very much a mean girl) and because he likes mean girls, lae'zel and shadowheart are DEFINITELY up his alley. if he's doing an evil run, minthara, too. he'd also be very upset that he can't romance jaheira.

halsin or karlach for johnny martin. because he likes them big. he likes them chunky.

joe liebgott........ HAHAHAHA ok. he'd be so messy at this game he'd be trying to fuck everyone. he would ALSO go for astarion, but only in the beginning. i think he'd rather shadowheart, tbh, but I also think he'd go for karlach. he'd have a soft spot for lae'zel though. recognition through video game characters, i guess.

that's all I've got now though HAAHAHAHAH