#halsin: whos Christ

[bg3ramblingstuff]

Tav: hope you had fun :)

Halsin: yeah it was really good and fun. Reminded me of the time I spent three years tied up to a bed as a sex slave. It's so fun to recall these misadventures of my youth, and how wondrous and fascinating oak father made underdark nature :)

Tav: *so shocked he forgets Christianity isn't canon* My brother in Christ -

[animentality]

Like who cares if straight girls are romancing Astarion, it’s more worrying that you think Astarion needs to get “railed” because talk about misunderstanding a character totally

It was a joke but continue to be mad that I find a character sexually attractive in a way different than you :)

[cyber-dogz]

if you guys have also been getting constant ads for those bg3 companion candles and are debating on getting them or are just curious in general i just want to say. i got the halsin and the astarion ones and

jesus actual christ

as someone who tends to be very picky about smells and candles in general, they smell very VERY nice, and then for them representing the characters??? absolutely on point. i felt like i was literally holding a bottled astarion scent . like that is perfectly how they would smell. and then the QUALITY of the candles is insane. from the jar to even the lid, i never thought i could like a candle so much. i really wanna get the rest of the candles now tbh . i need one the size of my head actually.

[drowfag]

Every time i go through the astarion tag either on tumblr or ao3, I just make myself fucking miserable from the disparity between him shipped with f!tav vs m!tav & nb!tav. It's not even an issue if there was just more content that got more attention than f/m, especially since it's even worse for halsin/m!tav. i'm just tired of constantly getting the short end of the stick in fandom spaces, especially since I came out and transitioned and realized my attraction towards men. That wealth of fan content that was there when my egg hadn't cracked isn't there anymore, and only coming to realize it kinda sucks shit. On Astarion fan servers, I'm only one of the few gay men on the server and feel weird when I don't have Astarion settle down with my Tav and get married and have kids. I went from feeling like I belonged in fandom spaces when I still identify as a cis bi girl into an outsider who can't relate to the gender I once belonged to.

i forget how heteronormative the rest of the fanbase is outside of tumblr to the point that people create mods to remove queer content or refer to Astarion's lover with only she/her pronouns. it's incredibly isolating to be a queer man in fandom, especially as a trans man. i'm not targeting bi people by saying he almost feels fetishizied by straight women because of his queerness which is a real issue that bi men face in f/m relationships like I was with my last partner. it doesn't help terfs will occasionally post in the tag mocking gay trans men and calling us straight women.

vague about me all you want, but at least a majority of fandom caters to you and the lifestyle you live, and you aren’t attacked for your gender identity and sexuality by transphobes in a game with literally no mentions or representative of transmasc people or AFAB enbies. it's even worse when you dare to headcanon him as asexual and people come out of the woodwork to accuse you of taking away his agency despite being a survivor yourself. the casual queerphobia of the fandom is not lost on me as someone with multiple intersecting identities that spend time on servers outside of Tumblr. i don't even feel safe going on larger general bg3 discord servers because of rampant transphobia and homophobia.

i'm tired of not being able to express my frustration with the wider fandom without being accused of misogyny and biphobia by people who literally have tons of representation in literally every aspect of life from a game that didn't even bother to remember people like me even exist except for a small inclusion to give my male character a vagina as an afterthought. jesus fucking christ people created a mod to remove what little lgbt content is in the game, what the fuck.

[thelikesoffinn]

I guess Orin wants to fuck me. (Act 3 Spoilers)

.

.

.

So. After fighting the Giths below the Elf Song Tavern, I threw in a long rest to replenish those depleted spell slots.

Nothing unusual happened, just Halsin dropping something along the lines of "I want to fuck you gently beneath the moonlight - and Astarion too, if he feels like it".

I said no, rested and immediately went back to exploring the Emperors hide out - only to have "Halsin" rush in, waxing about how we all gon' die if we don't run and of course that wasn't Halsin at all, it was Orin who snatched Halsin away.

Now.

I knew she was there somewhere since Gortash told me. That, in conclusion, means that she's likely been Halsin this entire time.

And now I can't shed this mental Image - Orin the Red, Chosen of Bhaal and certified crazy arse bitch, not only deduced that Halsin somehow would want to fuck my Dark Urge girl, no, she decided she'd do it too.

Like, Jesus fucking Christ, talk about dedication to the craft.

[lakemojave]

Tonight at 6pm Pacific: The Direct Actors, a Baldur's Gate 3 "Adventure" ep. 13!

For those who may have missed last week's episode, welcome! Everything is totally fine and normal in the party this week. The party is doing great, the quest is doing great, and the fabric of space and time is doing great! Come see @radiofreederry play Dhudlei Durite, elf paladin, my friends Nana and April play Leviathan, Dragonborn Dark Urge Monk, @caputvulpinum play Micah Harper, Tiefling Cleric, and me play Delilah "Mama D" Harper, Halfling Bard!

Art by @terrafey, recap under the cut. See y'all then!

THE STORY SO FAR: On the way to a union rally, Delilah "Mama D" Harper and her grandson Micah were abducted and taken aboard an ilithid nautiloid, which they escaped with mysterious dancer Leviathan and self-proclaimed "Champion of Ilmater and Paladin of Good" Dhudlei Durite. Each infected by a mind flayer tadpole, but so far immune from transforming into mind flayers themselves, The Direct Actors, as the party have come to be known, now turn their attention to the Shadow-Cursed Lands, where Moonrise Towers, the lair of the Cult of the Absolute, awaits them...

LAST TIME: Jesus Christ where to fucking start.

After returning to Halsin with the lute of Art Cullagh, the archdruid finally determined a way to recover Thaniel, the spirit of the land, who held the key to breaking the shadow curse. Halsin entered the Shadowfell, leaving the Direct Actors behind to guard the portal. After a clash with shadow cursed creatures and people on the lakeshore, in which Dhudlei gave a taste of his full power, Thaniel was recovered.

Back at camp, while Halsin determined next steps, Lae'zel awoke Dhudlei from his slumber, and admitted that her feelings for him had grown deep and abiding, and the two engaged in ritual combat to seal their bond as official romantic partners. In the morning, Halsin tasked the party with seeking out Thaniel's other half, which they found in an abandoned shack in the shadow-cursed lands. After a deadly game of hide and seek and a battle in a courtyard, the Direct Actors were able to convince Thaniel's other half to return where it belonged. The party then descended into Ketheric Thorm's secret shrine to Shar, where Micah used his devotion to Ilmater to trick his way through a series of Sharran tests, before the party fought their way out against a set of animated armor.

After a return to camp, Thaniel informed the Direct Actors that for the curse to be fully lifted, Ketheric Thorm must be killed. Dhudlei encouraged Micah about his newfound faith in Ilmater, and Leviathan chastised Dhudlei about his continued reticence in talking to Micah about their relationship. On the way back to the inn, the party passed through Reithwin Tollhouse, where Leviathan talked the undead tax collector Gerringothe Thorm to death.

Back at the inn, Mama D shared a drink with Jaheira who directed the party upstairs, where it was revealed that Dhudlei's goddaughter Isobel was still alive. The party rescued her and the inn from an attack by Absolute cultists, but after the battle was finished Leviathan gave into his dark urge, attacking and killing Isobel and dooming everyone in the inn to death. As Dhudlei killed Leviathan in vengeance for his goddaughter and held off the newly shadow-cursed dwellers at the inn, Micah fled back to camp with Mama D, where he employed the powers of New Gale to reset the timeline, with only Micah and Mama D remembering what had happened. Micah managed to keep Leviathan away from Isobel in time to save her life, and the party returned to camp.

Mama D and Micah had a talk about what had happened, before Dhudlei discussed his previous companions and their mortality with Micah. Dhudlei confessed that he had grown to care for both Lae'zel and Micah, and extended an invitation for Micah to travel with him after their adventure concluded, which Micah accepted. However, despite promising no secrets between them, Micah did not tell Dhudlei what had happened before the timeline was reset.

That night, Leviathan's butler appeared and commanded the dragonborn to kill Wyll to make up for sparing Isobel. However, Leviathan resisted his urge and his bloodthirsty other half, and the party emerged from the night unscathed. In the morning, Leviathan intimidated Micah, who had witnessed everything, into staying quiet, with both halves of Leviathan seemingly fighting one another for control...

Will Leviathan be able to keep his urge in check? What other dangers remain in the shadow-cursed lands? Will Micah tell Dhudlei the truth? What awaits our heroes at Moonrise Towers? Find out in another exciting installment of Baldur's Gate 3, starring the Direct Actors!

[sarcasticsra]

Baldur’s Gate 3 is my other current hyperfixation (I’ve had the game not even three weeks and nearly 100 hours in lol oops) and like

So I played through all of act 1 and then decided I hated my character’s hair, and since you can’t change your appearance (which is baffling to me? You can respec your whole class from the bottom up but not like… cut and dye your hair? Bizarre!) I made a new character

During the new character’s run I ran into Astarion, who I had missed the first time, and I was sort of displeased at first because through cultural osmosis I knew he would clash with my character

My Tav is a cleric/sorcerer and neutral/chaotic good to the end, she will rescue anyone who needs rescuing for naught but a thank you, so of course Astarion disapproves of her constantly

(She’s taken the strategy of being aggressively kind to him in turn, which is admittedly fun)

Of course, the little shit is too good at picking locks and disarming traps (+14! And advantage thanks to the gloves of thievery) so I’ve kept him in my party

I had Shadowheart and Gale as well (those were the only two I had in my first run) and since in my first run I flirted with Shadowheart, this time I went for Gale, because he’s a nerdy romantic sap and that’s adorbs (and he was in love with my Tav from the get go basically because he’s gotta be the most good-aligned character? Basically it went: “my character: *breathes* / Gale approves.” He was at exceptional really early into act 1)

And then in act 2 I found out you can add Halsin to your party, but I had to kick someone out to do so, and since Astarion is crucial for lock-picking and traps, Gale is my AOE damage dealer, and my character and Halsin both have access to healing spells, (side note: twinned spell + healing word, or distant spell + cure wounds = very effective) that meant Shadowheart was the most redundant

So now it’s my character and three dudes following her around, very 90s Chosen One, ~she’s not like other girls~ vibes, which admittedly cracks me up a bit, and I was joking with my husband that they were my harem

(None of these dweebs have any CHA so my character is the party face and of course the leader)

Except NOW I know you can romance Halsin in act 3, which, yes, but I’ve heard Gale is monogamous, so I’m hella conflicted on that, and then on top of that Astarion is growing on me to the point where I just want to hug him all the time (that scene with the drow lady who wanted him to bite her? And you’re just like “uh dude it’s obviously your choice” and he acts like that is the most revolutionary concept imaginable? Jesus Christ game, right to the feels) so now I’m like

Shit

Which one do I want

Why can I not have an actual harem, game???

[bg3fandomcritical-reactive]

"That user in specific gets extremely upset by the game giving people choices that harm Astarion. In the past they said they got anger issues from watching the orgy with Halsin and Astarion and that they had to quit the game for a while and go talk to an Astarion ai chatbot to calm down."

oh for the love of christ i wish people would stop using fucking ai chatbots. it feeds off of fanfiction, work that people do and upload for everyone to read for free!!! it baffles me how some people get so worked up about ai art and then then turn around and "talk" to ai bots. there are reader insert fanfics. there are writers who take requests or commissions. hells you can write your own fanfic to have for yourself. its infuriating how lazy some people are and not only are they contributing to this shit but they are literally fucking themselves up mentally. having anger issues over a scene where astarion has a bad experience and needing to "talk" to an ai bot is crazy and such people need serious help and to step away from the game for a good few months. you cannot be an adult (assuming they are adults cause it IS an adult game) and act like that, its straight up embarrassing

.

[sapphire-weapon]

i've realized what it is that pisses me the fuck off about baldur's gate 3

you need to have a guide up at all times in order to play the way you want to because the game is horribly unclear about which choice is the correct one and what you need to do in order to progress certain things.

i just lost like four hours of progress because i didn't trigger a specific sidequest when i was supposed to in order to recruit halsin to my party and made it all the way to act 3 before i realized "wait a minute this bitch never joined me"

but literally how the fuck was i supposed to know that i had to go talk to some random guy on a bed in town and that i had to do it before a specific point in act 2

i'm not saying you need to put quest markers over people's heads, but giving the player SOME kind of indication of what the fuck they're supposed to be looking for is a part of good game design. and yes i know the idea of bg3 is to immerse urself and roleplay but like

as a counterpoint to that

the percentage of people who are actually going to take the time to talk to every single last goddamn NPC when most of them have nothing of value to say is very very very low. so give me SOMETHING. jesus christ.

and in the four hours i lost are three extremely annoying fights that i basically had to save scum my way through and uuugggghhhhh

[aleisters]

Sex with Halsin so life changing make a man wanna fuck ... NOT himself ? Let's not go TOO far however perhaps the beefy druid is onto something about that. Free love nonsense. Who said that? Beat it.

i know this is beside the point but man i really have particular headcanons about why raphael "only loves himself" BUT part of those headcanons is that i honestly think haarlep finds it funny when raphael wants to fuck other people. like christ, finally my man

[concrete-beach-party]

druid grove, part 1

The first real post about my playthrough! woohoo!

So, we made it to the grove. Our party consists of my seldarin drow cleric, my partner's wood elf wizard, Astarion and Shadowheart.

They get attacked 

obviously this is the part where you find Wyll

one guy is BEGGING to be let into the grove like this:

We kill the attackers and enter the grove. I talk to the guy who wanted to flee and the guy who did not want to let him in

he's fucking racist against Drow and states "I didn't ask for help" - my dude, w h a t

Anyways, we reached level 3 and my partner is a wizard, so he was reading tooltips for the next 30 minutes. I decided to explore the grove in the meantime.

Side note: my character is not the smartest and fails INT checks due to literal disadvantage. But! Who needs intelligence when you have 🌟faith🌟?

I helped a hopelessly bad fighter fight a little better, he gifted me an axe for that, so that's cool

a bored oxe wants to talk to me, but I can't understand him

Note to self: We're missing a party member that can talk to animals

People here really don't like Drow. 

I almost got duped by that con artist kid, though the fact that I missed one perception check tells me that the little shits stole at least SOMETHING from me, 10/10 game

then I ran into a creepy little kid and found the hidden entrance to the Tiefling hideout

in this hideout I found the "boss" of the local crime syndicate. As I told them that they're in a dangerous line of work, they basically responded "you're not my real mom" - fair enough, I guess?

Don Tiefling wants me to steal the ritual stone/artifact/whateveritwascalled to stop the ritual. I'll keep it in mind.

Anyways, we proceeded further into the grove, finding out more about the ritual that is about to happen there.

A Tiefling family was missing their daughter because she too tried to steal the artifact. The druids have her.

Talking to the druids revealed that most of them are racist assholes. Like, 4/6 of the druids are like this and I'm confused, aren't you people supposed to be nature loving hippies??

Rath is begging me to find Halsin, because their new leadership (Kagha) is horrible. Judging from the rest of the druids I've talked to, maybe you got the leadership you people deserve. He is ok though and also wants to stop this ritual. So I guess I'll find Halsin to put an end to this madness.

we find a hidden door where we need a rune to open it. Rath is supposed to have it, but he's not talking to me until I find Halsin.

I wanted to pickpocket Rath, but for some reason, that's not possible

Nettie starts off as another Drow-hater, but reveals that's because she recently got attacked by a mind-flayer-infected Drow. Yeah, fair enough, that's why I'm here

Nettie thinks that apart from the whole mind flayer thing, I look perfectly sane and healthy. I try to tell her that's not the case (memory loss, the urge to kill everyone around me), but she's like "nah it's the mind flayer, can't do anything about it, find Halsin?"

Kagha herself thinks that I'm the second coming of Christ, because I'm a Drow therefore I CLEARLY support her goals, right? Sacrificing the lesser people for the greater good? Doing her dirty work? Yeah? Holy shit, this woman is insane. I wish there was a dark urge prompt at this point.

Shoutout to Astarion, who made snarky remarks all the time

That's where yesterday's session ended. Oh, and we sent Wyll to the camp.

[thepioden]

for the tav asks, 3, 4, 15, and 25?

THANKS I'D LOVE TO

Since you didn't specify, all extant Tavs' answers under the cut

3: Race and subclass?

Themistocles: Tiefling (Devil's Tongue Variant) Conjuration Wizard. He's also technically 1/4 dragon for '3rd generation adventurer' reasons but this is mechanically a nonissue because see above re: Tiefling.

Xilkalyn: Drow Twilight Cleric (thanks, Cleric Subclass Mods!) In the Vanilla game, he'd be a Light Cleric, but he's also my PC from Waterdeep Dragon Heist, where he is a Twilight Cleric of Selune.

Revka: Brass Dragonborn Open-Hand Monk. She's my only girl who wasn't a 5e PC I'm re-using and therefore she gets No Modded Special Privileges or Background.

4: If your Tav was a companion, where would they be found?

T: You probably have to rescue his dipshit tail from that adventuring party in the temple ruins. "Talk fast eat ass" does not get you very far in the wilderness, turns out.

X: Has contrived to get himself to the druid grove and is probably hanging out with Wyll and making himself insufferably useful. Doesn't feel great about the Drow cadaver on the slab in Nettie's chambers though I'll tell you what.

R: You have to break up a fight between her and Astarion, because she wandered into him first, he tried the knife thing, and they got into a STR 8 DEX-off stalemate.

15: What NPC's do they like? Which one's do they dislike?

T: Likes - He has latched on to Rolan like some sort of nerdy leech. Wants to talk Wizard shit and also smack him upside the head also maybe smooch his dumb face? (This is a problem Tim has with a lot of people, including favorite NPC number 2:) Dammon, who he wants to come live in their camp and make them cool magic items. He likes that Dammon is competent but also a fucking weirdo. Tell Tim about the Hells, Dammon. Spare no detail. Dislikes - Lorroakan. That dude is a disgrace to Wizardry, what the fuck. Headcanon that he has Professional Wizard Beef with him from before the game timeline. Raphael. You're just a Cambion, motherfucker, calm down. Same to you, Mizora. You could do better, Wyll. Enver Gortash, because he dicked over Best Girl Karlach Cliffgate.

X: Likes - Xilkalyn actually recruits Minthara (now that you can do it without committing atrocities), so Halsin is his favorite! They get along, being relatively well-adjusted. He's extremely fond of Alfira, because he has a terminal soft-spot for Bards and she's very Nice. He feels religiously obligated to like Dame Aylin but she's. Intense. He's mostly intimidated by Dame Aylin. Dislikes - Holy shit on a stick but Viconia DeVir. She is a microcosm of so much generational trauma and also so much Kalyn Is Actively A Selunite and so much This Is Why People Don't Like Us. The Emperor. Xilkalyn extended so much benefit of the doubt and for what, man. For fucking what.

R: Likes - Has big-sisterly feeling towards Mol that are probably unwarranted and are certainly unreciprocated. Simps for Nine-Fingers because her taste in women is "dangerous." Much like Tim, also think Lucretious is Neat. Blurg and Omeluum! They're chill dudes, she respects what they've got going down, calm down, Lae'zel. Dislikes - the Zhentarim. Rugan didn't deserve that, probably. Orin, because, Jesus Christ, also, give Lae'zel back >:(

25: What arcana major best represents your Tav?

T: Wheel of Fortune

X: The Hanged Man

R: The Chariot

[lewis-winters]

sorry, u can ignore this if u like but i been wanting to ask this queztion for days: who would the bob bous romance in bauldurs gate 3 do u think?

anon, I want you to know I fucking screamed when I saw this in my inbox like no fucking joke thank you for this overlap in my recent obsessions idk how to explain the absolute JOY this gave me the moment I saw it

first of all. i don't know if david webster would hate gale or if he would like gale. gale "of waterdeep" dekarios is just david webster but with magical powers and a very toxic ex girlfriend. do you understand me? do you get it? do you see the vision? either he hates him because like repels like, or he loves him because he sees something familiar in him and web's a little self-absorbed that way. DO YOU UNDERSTAND, TELL ME YOU UNDERSTAND--

second, let's get this out of the way. speirs WOULD play dark urge. he would play dark urge and enjoy killing people. that has nothing to do with who he romances. i just need you to know that i think he would enjoy being the faerun's anti-christ and bhaal-daddy's favorite little boy. speirs would ALSO go for gale, mostly because he'd be VERY intrigued by gale's ambition as well as endeared by how gentle he is as a character. he's like... that's my slightly fucked up little guy!

third-- you just want to know who'll go for astarion, would you? you just wanna know, don'tcha? well i have an answer for you-- the answer is lip, malarkey, chuck, web, and dick! the ones who give you very strong omg i can fix him vibes. dick would be very upset if he accidentally ascends astarion though, are you fucking kidding me? he'd be SO upset.

bill guarnere and alton more would go for him, too, because they're chaotic. they'll do their damnedest to ascend astarion. and also because they're horny and astarion is unfortunately their beautiful princess with a disorder.

LEWIS NIXON WOULD HATE ASTARION DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME??? HE WOULD SEE HIM AS A MIRROR THAT REFLECTS ALL HIS WORST TRAITS BACK AT HIM DO YOU UNDERSTAND? DO YOU GET IT? lewis nixon WOULD however? go for wyll or gale, because they're both gentlemen, and lewis likes gentlemen. or he'd go for halsin, because if lewis nixon is anything, he is RIDDLED with daddy issues. though if he went for halsin he'd prolly break up with him in the end.

babe heffron would also go for wyll or halsin if he's playing a tav that's a bit closer to who he is irl. he might also go for karlach, because i feel like babe's type in men is the exact opposite of his type in women? like, he'd want a tall and buff lady who could break him in half but be real sweet about it, ya know? he might also go for shadowheart but fumble it so so so badly. he'd misclick and accidentally tell her he wants to break up.

eugene roe would find karlach and wyll very endearing and would go for one of them for sure. he'd view it as a win when they all end the game together in avernus. eugene roe can have a girlfriend and a boyfriend at the same time. as a treat.

i headcanon that harry likes mean girls (my iteration of kitty grogan is very much a mean girl) and because he likes mean girls, lae'zel and shadowheart are DEFINITELY up his alley. if he's doing an evil run, minthara, too. he'd also be very upset that he can't romance jaheira.

halsin or karlach for johnny martin. because he likes them big. he likes them chunky.

joe liebgott........ HAHAHAHA ok. he'd be so messy at this game he'd be trying to fuck everyone. he would ALSO go for astarion, but only in the beginning. i think he'd rather shadowheart, tbh, but I also think he'd go for karlach. he'd have a soft spot for lae'zel though. recognition through video game characters, i guess.

that's all I've got now though HAAHAHAHAH

[majorasnightmare]

For durge list 8 15 19

I SPENT SO LONG ANSWERING THIS ASK SPECIFICALLY AND THEN TUMBLR JUST ATE THE FUCKIN THING. CHRIST.

gonna do what i can LMAO

8. How does your Dark Urge feel about the wilderness?

he thought he was ambivalent towards it until he got to the city LMAO

hes positively neutral about it, like he isnt a huge nature guy like halsin but he is like "yeah this is nice"

the lack of available options to satiate the Urge isnt as much of a downside for him since he tries to pace himself out anyways, and overall he enjoys the relative quiet and the wildlife. the scent-scape is generally more pleasant+less obnoxious also, which helps

15. What is your Dark Urge’s greatest fear?

if you asked him when he first woke up, hed probably have to think a while before eventually settling on something like "having to kill a loved one" or something equally generic. not entirely inaccurate but definitely an answer he thinks is fitting rather than strictly true

that changes when he gets to the gate

its forced helplessness. its being bound to something you cant escape from. its something hurting you, twisting you, punishing and abusing you, and you cant make it stop or escape because you carry it with you. its being forcibly hollowed out into a shell that walks around like normal, like nothings wrong. its being warped into something unrecognizable to yourself and not knowing who looks back in the mirror. its a lifetime of paranoia and terror masquerading as power and ambition.

its father dearest and how your always the hand he cut free but wants to reattach

19. Has your Dark Urge become particularly close to anyone romantically and/or platonically in their journey? If so, who, and what is the relationship like? If no, why not?

i spent so long answering this one and tumblr ATE IT ALLLLLLLLLLLL

i got this ask twice so ill just break the answer up LMAO

and for this one ill do family edition

dirge is TECHNICALLYYYY the youngest of four bhaalspawn, cut from their fathers flesh, and each considered a failure leading to the creation of the next one. its roughly split into two "generations", an older "classic" generation and the newer one dirge is a part of. none of this is bg3 canon but it lives in my brain rent free so here have it anyways.

dirges eldest sibling is another tiefling by the name of zherimon, who he only really knows pretadpole. the next eldest is a drow named ornaryn, who he distances himself from pre AND post tadpole. and his next oldest brother is a goliath, haaflidi, and haaflidi had the unfortunate luck to get snatched by a nautiloid

haaflidi is a barbarian (then monk multiclass) whos response to being tadpoled was to slam his head into the pod repeatedly until the explosion proof glass shattered, and gave himself brain damage induced amnesia in the process. closer in age to dirge than any of his other siblings (save orin), the mutual amnesia meant that when they dragged their bloody bodies off the beach, they were able to forge a relationship without the pressures of the bhaal cult breathing down their necks. it takes a little while but after a sceleritas visit post alfira confirms the half remembered suspicion of being related, the mutual Urge suffering and late insomniac nights lets the two of them establish something vaguely resembling a sibling relationship. dirge is very connection driven, and he unironically considers his older brother to be an impressive and admiration worthy person, their rapport is amicable in the "older brother bullying a younger sibling who keeps coming back for more" kind of way. haaflidi isnt particularly talkative and very blunt and direct, so dirge rarely has to guess how hes feeling, and the fact he responds at all instead of making an effort to drive him off is proof enough that the affections reciprocated. if haaflidi was angry, or genuinely wanted him dead, the dirge would simply be dead, instead of their usual playfighting. they have a healthy amount of respect for each other and a good amount of sibling camaraderie that they just werent able to develop in the cult thanks to its abusive family dynamics.

both of them fall in p easily into a familial dynamic with jaheira, who almost definitely groks the bhaalspawn reveal way before either of those two do. dirge in particular has a strong craving for community and close pack dynamics, which jaheira almost certainly picks up on, and her "effects first, morals later" approach means that they can maintain a friendly relationship despite their conflicting alignments. dirge is more motivated to be good to his loved ones than he is to satisfying his impulses or causing harm, and his loved ones are broadly on the good spectrum, which is enough for jaheira. what trouble he does get up to is either too minor for jaheira to give him shit for, or wont have consequences until well down the line, which is a problem for future jaheira. so despite dirge being unrepetantly evil, and jaheira having zero intention of compromising her good alignment any time soon, the fact that he values his relationships enough to make an effort to preserve them and their mutual goals is enough to let jaheira feel comfortable calling him an ally. his particular struggles trying to achieve independence from bhaal and trying to regulate his murderous impulses almost certainly remind her of her days with gorions ward, but even without that hes personable enough that falling into a rapport with him is easy. when he isnt being a blatantly evil shitheel, dirge is fairly easy to care about, especially since so many of his struggles hit close to home. jaheira almost certainly figures out his "lone wolf" vibe, not in that hes some brooding badass, but that dirge is isolated, panicky, prone to paranoid aggression, and desperately seeking connection and stability, and thats enough to pull her into trying to mentor and support him, a relationship dirge only lightly pushes back against to tease her. he appreciates her no nonsense approach to situation handling, and how shes driven by material conditions and what results she wants, rather than her ideology, and shes just good fun to play bicker with. sometimes you just gotta give an old lady shit.

minsc falls into the familial dynamic too, though hes not as close as jaheira. dirge appreciates that he can take a beating mostly unharmed, and vents his constantly growing bloodlust by sparring, which minsc happily participates in because physical violence is a form of friendship. he wont call minsc it himself, but dirge doesnt push back when minsc calls himself dirges uncle, and overall just considers the guy to be great fun, ESPECIALLY when it comes to bullying jaheira

[bernie-bear]

jesus christ zandra is an interpersonal menace

commentary below

some context is necessary here - zandra was raised by a high elf father who ran a parlor/bar/club that only served the noblest of the noble. she loves money and asks for it pretty often during act 1, and is also standoffish because of her natural distance from being raised in an environment where her dad basically showed her off to his patrons - she's extremely beautiful (for a gnome, many would say) and talented with both magic and music. back then, she seemed untouchable.

wyll:

as she develops into a better person during the acts, becoming more sure of what she herself wants, finding value in sticking out for others and helping them (without needing (too much) recompense)... wyll falls in love with her hard. how could he not - she's basically a perfect princess

she turns him down during the dance, though, which kind of broke his heart but he doesnt get over his love for her. zandra knows and just kind of keeps her distance from there, though she doesn't stop caring for him as a friend. she's just not interested in him that way.

gale:

zandra and gale shared a very short fling in act 2 (shadowheart doesn't really get into a relationship with tav until act 3 so zandra has a lot of free time to fuck around lol). gale kind of got caught up with it and she had to be like hi thanks for bringing me out here to the woods but i dont like you like that

in a platonic sense, which is the standard for the rest of the game, gale likes her more than she does him but theyre pretty good friends. nothing crazy though

minsc:

also nothing crazy here. the hamster shit is kinda funny

jaheira:

loves jaheira like an aunt and mom and best friend IDK i think zandra felt very comfortable quipping with her from the beginning. when she found out jaheira was an actual mom that was kind of neglectful she was like thats okay. im kind of used to that lowkey.. love and peace on planet earth

halsin:

i project my love of boobs toward zandra, so that was essentially what she was enamored with when it came to halsin. i guess she also likes him like, as a person, but she pretty much gets bored of him quick in terms of romance. i dont think halsin is particularly enamored with her either, its just an attraction thing that fades naturally. but also because hes a generally nicer person i guess he likes her more than she likes him LMFAO

karlach:

zandra LOVES karlach's energy and adores how straightforward she is in being a good person (why she doesnt see wyll exactly the same i dont know. i dont think she likes men very much). karlach took longer time to get around to liking zandra but now they're thick as thieves. until karlach goes back to hell i guess

astarion:

ohhhh my fucking god dude. you know how zandra has a high elf dad right. they love each other but its complicated when youre both concerned with self image and youre a child with a gay ass father. but still, zandra does love her father, and since shes a "special" gnome imagine how heartbreaking it was for the only high elf in the party who was also gay as fuck to dislike gnomes. as an adoptee she feels strongly about gnomes and their welfare, so she had really mixed feelings about him.

i think he also had really mixed feelings about her too because he also did think she was very beautiful for a gnome, and people were drawn to her despite her natural distance when he probably feels he had to work hard for it. in the end though theyre good with each other :thumbsup: they probably go for manicures together

shadowheart:

i dont think zandra thought she was straight but clearly she has more like. things going on with men. but something about shadowheart really drew her.. she liked how flexible shadowheart was when it came to romance and sex, but found her faith interesting (she doesnt really feel sure about anything like that). they both also really like animals and flowers (not a projection by me btw. its not like i adore them and take people to botanical gardens and zoos)

i had like deeper thoughts about their relationship but theyre not coming to mind rn sorry

laezel:

nothing really crazy here tbh. zandra is not very sure why laezel likes her very much but assumes laezel just respects her a lot, which is something she doesn't really understand either. but after saving her from orin i think they solidly thought of each other as friends - i always get really giddy when laezel asked if there was something bothering me, like i knew she really liked me from then on. how couldnt i like her back :sob:

also dropping my romance chart here that i worked way too long on

my tav is a gnome. my tav would kin rarity. my tav would invent some snazzy ice cream with gale. my tav is addicted to trading. my tav asks for a reward like 75% of the time. my tav may look like an ice princess but she is prone to emotion. my tav gets her party constantly injured due to her poor strategic skills but gets away with it because of her 21 CHA. my tavs recent desire is to fully braid her hair with shadowheart's, like a tame version of cannibal yuri. my tav has a soft spot for kids probably because she doesnt need to lift her head up to see them. my tav has constant neck pain because everyone else at camp is so fucking tall