#halo expanded universe

[helix-enterprises117]

Halo: A Beginner's Guide

For all of you newcomers out there, here's a list that I've wanted to do for a while now. For those who are new to Halo, likely introduced by the TV Show, and want to get into it, here's my 2 cents on how to ease into the franchise.

The Games

Play the original four games PLUS Halo Infinite in chronological order. The spin-off games (Reach, ODST, the Wars games and the Spartan games) are all completely optional, but they are there for people who want play other games that aren't centered around the Master Chief. I recommend just watching all of the cutscenes of Halo 5: Guardians in some supercut "movie" Youtube video, since the 5th game is... bad and, story wise, you're not missing much.

So in this order WITHOUT the spin-offs:

Halo: Combat Evolved

Halo 2

Halo 3

Halo 4

Halo Infinite

If you want to play the games WITH the spin-offs included, then in this order:

Halo Wars

Halo Reach

Halo: Combat Evolved

Halo 2

Halo 3: ODST

Halo 3

Halo: Spartan Assault

Halo: Spartan Strike (Note: This game takes place in two different time-periods, so just play this after Spartan Assault for convenience sake)

Halo 4

Halo Wars 2

Halo Infinite

My advice: Play the main four (+ Infinite) FIRST, then replay the main-games WITH the spin-offs in chronological-order.

Books & Comics

Here comes my favorite part!

Books

Halo: The Fall Of Reach, Halo: First Strike & Halo: Contact Harvest - The FIRST books in the entire franchise, these books set the stage for the entire setting of the Halo world. The first half of The Fall Of Reach is Master Chief's origin story, while the second half is about, well, "the fall of Reach." First Strike is a book that takes place in-between the first and second game AND, for a high-octane action-book, has a shocking amount of shipping material. And finally, Contact Harvest details the early years of the Human-Covenant War AND further fleshes out the Covenant as an antagonistic force by showing their side of things.

Halo: Silent Storm & Halo: Oblivion - For those who want MOAR Master Chief, these two books focus on a younger Chief fighting the Covenant in the earlier uears of the war. These two are probably my favorite Halo books thus far.

Halo: Ghosts Of Onyx & The Kilo-5 Trilogy - It's crucial to read Ghosts Of Onyx first BEFORE delving into Glasslands, the first book in The K5-Trilogy, since Glasslands takes place IMMEDIATELY after Ghosts Of Onyx. Anyways, these stories are for those who are bored of Master Chief and want to read about other, admittedly more fascinating Spartans. Kurt and Naomi are definitely among my favorite Spartans that aren't named "Master Chief," "Blue-Team" and "Silver-Team."

Halo Evolutions - An anthology book with each story taking place in some corner of the Halo universe or another, this is a book I recommend for world-building purposes.

Comics

Halo: The Graphic Novel - Just like Evolutions, Halo: The Graphic Novel is an anthology series thay tells different stories from different corners of the Halo universe for world-building purposes. These stories are all new stories and are NOT comic-adaptations of any of the stories in Evolutions, so don't worry about basically reading the same stories twice; The Graphic Novel has a similar concept, but all of the stories are different.

Halo: Blood Line - Black-Team is the coolest group of Spartans in the entire Spartan-II Program; they're group of misfit loners (who secretly have feelings for each other) who answer ONLY to ONI (the CIA of the Halo universe) and wear black suits of armor with roman-numerals etched onto their visors. They do cool-guy shit together, and this comic follows their story.

Other Material

Audio-Dramas

I Love Bees - Taking place in various different points in time, I Love Bees was an ARG that was turned into an audio-play long after it was deciphered. I won't spoil anything that happens, but I will say this: Shit gets kinda crazy.

Hunt The Truth - Another ARG. This fictional podcast was made to promote Halo 5: Guardians and... it's the best damn part to come out of that stinker of a game; Hunt The Truth's narrative is SO much more interesting than Halo 5's story, it HURTS. Anyways, it's about a reporter uncovering the truth of the Spartan-II Program as ONI starts a smear campaign against the Master Chief to cover their own asses.

Movies & Shows

Halo 4: Forward Unto Dawn - This web-film was promotional material for Halo 4 (as it's title suggests), and it follows a group teenaged military-school students going about their lives as Lasky, a confused cadet who is struggling to find a direction in life and live up to his family's reputation, grapples with the struggles of military-life in his academy.

Halo: The Series - If, by some off-chance, you WEREN'T introduced to Halo via the show, here's the recommendation. Form your own opinion, but here's my advice: Like what you want to like and don't follow the word of mouth.

Halo Legends - An anime anthology that, just like Evolutions and The Graphic Novel, world-builds the mythology of Halo by telling different, disconnected but ultimately in-continuity stories set within the game's universe. Odd One Out, Homecoming and The Package are my favorite shorts in the film.

Machinimas

Red Vs Blue - What else? Seasons 1 - 14 are my recommendations, don't watch anything else beyond that because it SERIOUSLY drops in quality. Just wait for it's final season, Season 20, to come out; you're not missing much with seasons 15 - 19.

The Spartan Legacy - A seriously underrated series. Made by a Youtuber under the name: 'Chronicler177,' The Spartan Legacy takes place in an alternate-continuity where Chief disappears and never comes back after the events of Halo 3. As a result, the Spartan-IVs and Vs (both of which are more interesting than in-canon; and the Spartan-Vs are a new creation within this web-show itself) are created to take his place.

WHEW! That's all, ladies and gents.

@authortobenamedlater, @silverpelt3600, @ionlymadethissoicouldleaveanask, @makowrites, @mrtobenamedlater, @biomecharnotaurus, @killer-orca-cosplay, @cheezbot, @caffeineyum, @asimplesimpsimping.

[short-wooloo]

Ok so, clearly I have a thing for 7 ft Cyborg Supersoldier Sniper Women, because every time there's a Spartan team with one they end up being my favorite character of the group

August-099

Linda-058

Kai-125

[lumi-klovstad-games]

Hey, 343. We call "expanded universes" that for a reason.

It also hurt for those of us who actually LIKED Fireteam Osiris and saw potential in the characters. Halo 5 sets up a neat "Brothers in Arms" relationship between Chief and Locke like Chief had with Arbiter in 3, maybe even a little bit of Master & Apprentice, with Locke standing to learn a lot in the days and battles to come from the much older and more experienced Master Chief. But then the next game comes and... wait where is everyone? 343 wants me to buy more books?! A lot of fans already had to buy half a library's worth just to grock Halo 5, and here's 343 repeating that mistake again!

The Halo games really have just become a means by which 343 plugs the Halo novels. "There's a book that explains that" is the constant refrain I hear these days. No. I WANT THE GAMES TO EXPLAIN IT. The games are the only thing literally EVERY Halo fan buys. EXPLAIN IT IN THE GAMES.

I will give the audio logs in Infinite SOME credit for answering SOME questions I had, but mostly it was used to introduce irrelevant subplots that actually WOULD be better as a novel. Escharum doing his damnedest to keep the ragtag and ill-fitting family that are the Banished together with the disappearance of his protege Atriox, a warrior who was like a son to him, knowing full well he doesn't have Atriox's charisma and he can't maintain the cult of personality Atriox cultivated at the core of the Banished in the same way? Or a fireteam of Spartans, feeling lost and surviving without any real support, realizing that they'll likely die one way or another, deciding to risk it all on a single desperate all-or-nothing Hail Mary attempt at cutting the head off the snake, only to fail, with their only monument being their broken bodies, and their armor that Chief has to scavenge for gear with little if any knowledge of what happened to his comrades? These are plots TAILOR MADE for a spin-off novel. But instead a HUGE CHUNK of the total audio logs gets devoted to this kind of stuff, instead of explaining where Blue and Osiris are, if they survived, and setting up a reunion in a later story — you know, something actually relevant to Master Chief's story that connects with the plot players are already familiar with.

I get that 343 wants the Halo Universe to feel like this big connected thing while keeping the "mysterious" feel of the original trilogy, but for 343 that takes the form of locking players out of the loop: deny the players critical information necessary to understanding characters or the plot (even if the players can operate without that information) and then demand they cough up $8-15 a pop to gain access to that information (or just wait until Halopedia editors inevitably do). What they keep forgetting is that the original trilogy told players everything they needed to know as the game naturally progressed. The Bungie novels were interesting and sundry, but nothing they related was essential — not even The Fall of Reach (often considered the most important book in the expanded universe) was necessary to understand anything in the games proper. And then, when Bungie actually made a GAME about Reach, they made a point to showcase a separate cast of characters on a different part of the planet, playing a different role in the battle, with an entirely different team dynamic, all for the express purpose of keeping it so that the book wasn't essential to understanding what was going on. That's the secret that 343 just doesn't get: keep the books interesting, but keep them at arm's length — the GAME should tell the players everything they need to know.

More than game mechanics or graphics, if 343 can learn to tell stories in the games the way Bungie did, and learn to keep the books away from the games, then that alone will MASSIVELY improve Halo's appeal and bring back much of what was lost.

[legends-expo]

Panel Announcement: Storytelling in a Shared Universe

Authors Jason Fry, Barbara Hambly, Michael Kogge and Sean Stewart discuss the highs and lows of the creative process in writing stories as a team within a shared franchise. This panel will be on Sunday.

Buy tickets now: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/legends-consortium-2023-tickets-541786186067

[apoemaday]

Monet Refuses the Operation

by Lisel Mueller

Doctor, you say that there are no halos around the streetlights in Paris and what I see is an aberration caused by old age, an affliction. I tell you it has taken me all my life to arrive at the vision of gas lamps as angels, to soften and blur and finally banish the edges you regret I don’t see, to learn that the line I called the horizon does not exist and sky and water, so long apart, are the same state of being. Fifty-four years before I could see Rouen cathedral is built of parallel shafts of sun, and now you want to restore my youthful errors: fixed notions of top and bottom, the illusion of three-dimensional space, wisteria separate from the bridge it covers. What can I say to convince you the Houses of Parliament dissolve night after night to become the fluid dream of the Thames? I will not return to a universe of objects that don’t know each other, as if islands were not the lost children of one great continent. The world is flux, and light becomes what it touches, becomes water, lilies on water, above and below water, becomes lilac and mauve and yellow and white and cerulean lamps, small fists passing sunlight so quickly to one another that it would take long, streaming hair inside my brush to catch it. To paint the speed of light! Our weighted shapes, these verticals, burn to mix with air and changes our bones, skin, clothes to gases. Doctor, if only you could see how heaven pulls earth into its arms and how infinitely the heart expands to claim this world, blue vapor without end.

[aventurineswife]

The weight of the sky seemed endless as the two of you sat in silence, the gentle hum of the Astral Express vibrating beneath your feet. Sunday’s gaze was cast toward the swirling cosmos outside the window, his eyes softened by the vastness before him. His wings fluttered ever so slightly, a subtle sign of something unspoken, something held close within his heart. His halo hovered faintly above him, the eyes etched within it flickering in time with the distant stars.

Beside him, you, a fallen angel, watched as the space between the two of you expanded and contracted, as if the universe itself was breathing in sync with your hesitant connection. Once, you had both been celestial beings, bathed in light and purpose. But now, the wings that had once been a symbol of grace hung heavier, tarnished by the fall, by the choices that had been made. Your shared past was no longer a dream of peace, but an echo of something more complicated—something fractured.

It was the stillness between you that felt the loudest. Sunday’s usual calm demeanor, always so composed, now seemed like a fragile facade, as if his very presence was too delicate to bear the weight of both his idealism and his doubts. And you—your once-vibrant wings were now a muted reflection of their former glory, the loss of innocence still fresh on your soul. You had fallen, yes, but in your heart, you both knew it wasn’t just the fall that kept you grounded. It was the constant struggle to rise again, together or apart.

You had loved him once, and perhaps still did, despite the years of separation, despite the wounds that had never fully healed. His soft gaze met yours briefly, and for a moment, the distance between the two of you seemed to vanish. But only for a moment. The coldness of his self-imposed solitude crept back in, shrouding him in the same protective shell that had kept him isolated for so long.

He, the protector of dreams, the idealist who wished to escape suffering, now seemed caught between worlds—the one that was real and the one he so desperately wanted to create. You understood that pain; it resonated within you, reverberating through every fiber of your being. The loss of your wings had not been a simple fall; it had been a choice, a fracture of ideals, a departure from a reality too painful to face.

Yet in that fleeting look, you saw him—the Sunday you had known before everything had fallen apart. The one who still clung to hope, however fragile, despite the weight of his guilt. The one who believed in redemption, in healing, even when the path forward was cloaked in shadows. He was still searching, still yearning for something better, but it was unclear whether he was doing it for the world or for himself.

Your wings, though broken, still yearned to reach him. To soothe the turmoil that clouded his thoughts, to whisper the truth that you both were more than the sum of your pasts. You had fallen, yes, but you had also risen, over and over. And so had he, in his own way, struggling with his own fall.

But it was the fall that had changed you both. The quiet way you drifted into each other's orbit, two souls bound by the same celestial ache, yet bound by the knowledge that redemption wasn’t a place—it was a journey. Together, but apart, your connection remained fragile, and yet undeniable, like the stars that burned dimly yet persistently in the void.

As the train drifted further into the unknown, you sat beside him, not speaking, but knowing. Knowing that no matter how far the distance stretched between your hearts, there would always be something that tethered you both together—a shared past, a shared longing, a shared, quiet hope.

Originally was requested by someone on Wattpad but I wanted to post here too because I can and I will 🧍‍♀️🫶

[chxrrysangel]

Conflict of Interest

Pairing | Plug!Choso x fem!reader

Words | schmedium

Summary | Choso never quite does his intended job when you meet. Special treatment is what they call it, not that he’d outright admit to it. One day, you request his services outside of your normal routine. And things get, well, complicated.

Tags | 🍃, hotboxing, car sex, dub con (both parties are under the influence), overstimulation, kinda dom! Choso, no protection, praise kink, no use of y/n, overstimulation, creampie

Notes | I’ve had this in my drafts for so fucking long that I was getting sick and tired of going back to it instead of just posting. Overthinking is an understatement. (I’ll probably end up editing it again later)

You called up Choso a week early, stressed out of your fucking mind. It seemed like any problem the universe could throw at you, it did. You watched with anxious fingers tapping against the steering wheel as his deep blue car rolled into the empty parking lot. An abandoned mall is easily the best place for your exchanges, you both liked it that way.

He had his hair down today, catching you off guard for a moment. It’s not the first time he’s done it, but the stark contrast to his usual hairstyle was always surprising.

“Miss me?”, he asked with a smile as he closed the distance. You scoff and chuckle.

“I miss what’s in your bag. You’re not that special Kamo.”

“Oh but I am. We both know it.” He didn’t mention the break in routine, knowing it was probably something personal. You didn’t share much with one another, choosing the “basically strangers” dynamic to be a smarter option. But that doesn’t mean you didn’t break the agreement every once in a while. Even as he stands before the hood of your Jeep Grand Cherokee, your eyes can’t help but glance down at his playful smile when he talks or the movement of his fingers while he rolls. Your breath caught in your throat as he brought the paper to his lips, tongue flattening against its edge. Brown eyes glinted with mischief as they made contact with yours, a hum of satisfaction leaving his lips at catching you in the act. God if the earth could just open up and swallow me, that’d be great.

“Wanna smoke with me today?” You snapped out of your daze of distractions at the question, disbelief washing over your features.

“Really?” The large man shrugged, in a why not kind of way. How could you say no?

~~

Choso could taste the berry in your gloss as his lips wrapped around the blunt, inhaling the strain and feeling his chest grow warmer. It hadn’t been long, but the windows of Choso’s car had already begun to fog, despite the cracked windows.

That’s how you two spent the next hour, sharing two blunts and chatting together as your high began to wash over.

“Fuck, that’s strong.”

“Isn’t it?,” you softly whisper, head lolling towards him.

The two of you talk about anything and everything, minds expanding to limits you hadn’t even realized existed. Somehow the conversation drifted to the more personal aspects of your lives, such as your romantic lives.

“You’ve got a boyfriend?,” Choso whispered across the dash. You shook your head, waiting for his next question.

“Girlfriend?”

“If I didn’t know any better Kamo, I’d think you wanna date me.”

“God you fucking wish. Just curious.” Sometimes, you did wish. Not that he could ever know that.

“What about you, smartass. Dating anyone?”

“Nah, don’t have time for that.”

The car developed into a comfortable silence, neither of you feeling eagering to speak. It was like this with Choso, always has been. He understood the need for shutting up sometimes, no unnecessary pressure to converse.

“I think I need a haircut.” His random outburst prompted a barking laugh, caught off guard by the irrelevancy.

“I’m serious. It’s getting too long.” You looked over at him,pouting. You liked his hair, in fact you loved it. When he hung his head, the layers encased his face like a halo. It was the perfect haircut, not that you could really say so. Any allusion to your thoughts could ruin everything. So you settle for something simple.

“I like your hair.”

“Yeah?, he questions with a head tilt. You murmured a hum of agreement, leaning over the console to put a hand towards his face.

“I think your bangs could use a little trim though,” you remarked with a ruffle of his hair. You began to pull away a few seconds too late, eyes settling on his features and feeling yourself get too caught up. Choso’s eyes caught yours, grabbing your wrist to keep you close.

“Willing to cut it for me?” His eyes flickered across your features, analyzing them with an intensity you’ve never seen in him before. It was unnerving.

You nodded, swallowing a large gulp of nerves.

You sat outstretched over the console, not making any attempt to sit back properly on your side. He broke the silence before you could consider a regrettable choice, going on about munchies and making you laugh. That comment is what led to your current argument on the best type of cake as you unwrapped a cupcake in your hands.

“It’s very easily vanilla,” he argued, “it’s the most versatile option.” You scoff mid-bite.

“Didn’t know you were so boring, Kamo.” He looked offended at your comment, putting a hand on his chest like it hurt.

“Oh yeah? What’s your favorite then?”

“Red velvet. Hence why all of them are on my side of the tray.”

“You think you’re so special, picking red velvet over all the other options,” he teased.

“I know I’m special,” you mocked. Something shifted in the air when you said that, Choso growing quiet with no comeback prepared. The tension was so thick, you could cut it with a knife.

“You uh…you got something,” he whispered distractedly while leaning in. His thumb wiped at the corner of your mouth, dark eyes staring into yours. You watched as time slowed, his thumb reaching up to his lips and sucking.

“Frosting.” The two of you just stared at one another, high out of your minds and scared to breathe. Instinctively, you glance at his blush lips, not even remotely afraid that he would notice. His tongue darted out between the folds, covering the surface in spit and you nearly moaned.

“Fuck me,” you whispered to yourself, almost in pain.

He leans farther over the center console, putting a hand on your neck. Nothing was said as you stared into his eyes, bouncing back and forth between his irises as he wrestled with his thoughts. You leaned in , the gap between your lips just barely a sliver. You could kiss him easily, that much was obvious. But fear made you hesitate, breath fanning across his cheeks in anticipation of the next move.

“Choso,” you whispered in a barely audible tone.

“Don't talk,” he said before making the brave choice.

His lips capture yours, hesitant but curious. It takes a moment to find rhythm but soon you’re moaning softly into his mouth and gripping onto his arm for dear life. Choso was a good kisser, the soft muscle of his tongue bullying its way past your lips as he explored your mouth. He broke the kiss, staring at you with need. His lips were glossy with spit, pupils massive with lust.

“Back seat. Now.” You didn’t need to be told twice.

You watched as he impatiently pushed the seats forward, as far as the mechanism would allow.. He climbed into the backseat, a boyish smile adorning his features that you’ve adored from your first meeting.

“Choso, need you.”

He manhandles your body, grabbing your thighs to guide you into his lap.

Choso pushed your hips down on his crotch, your clit grinding against his rough zipper with earnestness. His plush lips peppered kisses down your neck and collarbone, smiling into your skin at the thought of seeing all this tomorrow. The two of you had crossed the line of friendship and he was quite intent on never going back now he’s gotten a taste. You whimpered, as though on the verge of tears, desperate for relief from the throbbing of your cunt.

“Oh, that’s cute.”

“Shut up. Not funny,” you retorted.

“Whatever you say sweetheart.” He thrust upwards, the outline of his erection rubbing so perfectly against your clit. A pathetically desperate whimper slips out, and he chuckles.

“I know baby, I know.” Choso continues to mark you, his featherlight touch on your skin sending tingles up your spine.

~~~

Had he not pushed his seat back, your ass would be pressing uncomfortably into the leather right now. Choso’s hands engulfed your hips, guiding you on his cock with every thrust. Your skin buzzed with the effects of indica, hot with desire as he fucked your brains out.

“Shit, Cho. So fuckin—ngh—good.” You whined into his neck, trying to muffle your sounds.

A chuckle reverberated through his body, dark with knowing.

“Don’t hide those pretty moans from me, baby. Wanna hear you.”

You leaned back, coming face to face with Choso. He was so pretty like this, a light sheen of sweat making his bangs stick to his skin in a pleasured bliss. Your pussy squeezed around his shaft, making him whine with need.

“Fuck that’s good,” he cried. Watching you bounce was like nothing he’d ever had the pleasure of seeing.

Just then, an idea formed in his mind. Choso angled his hips more upward, hitting your g-spot and pulling a pleasured sob from your lips. He watched with satisfaction as your eyes crossed for a moment, going dumb before his eyes. The glossed out look said everything, too lost in the pleasure to be remotely coherent.

“Feel good, pretty girl?” You could barely whimper out an affirmation, feeling your impending orgasm. You mewled incoherently, a jumble of curses and praise. With a shaking hand, you rubbed your clit as your stomach began to tighten in need for release.

“Right there baby. Fuck don’t stop don’t stop.”

Choso pushed off his own orgasm, wanting to watch you make a mess on his dick first. He grinned, taking in your fucked out state with great pleasure. The little you had shared with each other revealed that your sexual experience with men had been rather disappointing. Your last ex had no clue how to please you, too concerned with his own orgasm to ever worry about yours. He was selfish in that way, as well as many others.

He grabbed your hair, pulling you down in a sloppy kiss. If it wasn’t for how well he fucked, this kiss alone was enough to make your head spin. Your body felt miles away, the combination of the thc and the best fuck of your life making your skin tingle.

Your limbs began to tense, signals of how close you were. Your vision was blurry, teeth searing into your bottom lip with focus.

Choso felt your walls grow tighter, filling his chest with pride. He maintained his pace, pushing harder with each thrust. Your nails dug deep into the hard skin of his shoulders, imprinting moon-shaped marks.

“Close aren’t you?”

“So fucking close baby”. You stumbled over your response, struggling to say every syllable.

With a few more thrusts, your toes curled as you came. The squelching sounds in the car increased tenfold, a sound Choso was eager to revel in. He fucked you through your orgasm, thrusting getting sloppier by the second. His balls tightened, body buzzing as he fucked his cum into you. Before you could say anything, he didn’t stop. His mouth formed into an O, tip extremely sensitive.

“I think I can get one more out of you.”

A statement that felt more like a demand.

You began to shake your head, feeling the creeping discomfort of overstimulation begin to course through your shaking body.

He whispered sweet praises as you squirmed. Your body wasn’t sure of whether to lean into his touch or pull away, confused but pulsing with need. Your cunt choked his shaft, tense as you pushed through the masochistic pain. But soon enough that pain turned into pleasure, attempting to meet his thrusts to chase your orgasm.

He grinned with knowing, cheeky like a cat who got the cream.

“Shut up,” you uttered between gasps. He winked, satisfied with his clear victory. Even during the most intimate moments, he couldn’t help but be his usual annoying self

“Gonna cum Cho.” You whispered into his neck.

“Fuck. Can feel it. Doing so well for me, baby.”

His praise made you squeeze harder around him. Now that he’s had a taste, he’s unsure of how he’ll be able to let you go. Every touch, every look, every smile led up to this moment.

Every muscle in your body tenses as you cum, ears ringing as Choso praises you. His thumb rubs your clit in firm circles, the pleasure making your walls spasm around his sensitive cock.

“That’s it baby, doing so fucking good.” Choso slurred his words, head sensitive as he continued to fuck you through your orgasm. The base of his spine tingled, pushing him back towards the edge again. He blabbered incoherently as you came down, mumbling about how good your pussy is.

His hips stilled as he shot white ropes into you, filling your cunt with his warm seed. Your tired quick breaths as you gasped for air quickly faded into light laughter as you watched each other come down. Choso smiled lazily, dazed and completely out of it. With a delicate hand, he pushed some of your hair out of your face before pulling you in for another kiss. This one was much softer, gentle and unrushed. Romantic even.

“We just made things really complicated, didn’t we?,” you question against his lips. He didn’t answer really, murmuring in disagreement as he deepened the kiss.

“Choso! I’m serious”.

“So am I.”

[changingplumbob]

Halloween CAS Challenge created by @la-llama-sims displayed inside templates by me

CC Credits (Thank you creators!)

Skin default:Agave V2 by @nesurii Eyes:Waterdrop by @pralinesims

Shared CC

Lashes, Piercings: @pralinesims Lashes Spoiler, Anti stud S double Facial piercing, Expander earring Halo: @suzuesims Angelus Halo Accessory

Jackson (Dark hair)

Hair: @johnnysimmer Carlos Eyeliner: @pralinesims Antihero eyeliner Shirt: @caio-cc Caio Shirt Pants: @greenllamas Jeans Set AM Slim

Coleman (White Blonde Hair)

Hair: @johnnysimmer Caspian Eyeliner: @pralinesims Dark edge (pure) eyeliner Shirt, Pants: @nucrests Blouse Open, Universe Acid Wash Denim Skinny Distressed

Poses

@helgatisha Paired Poses Sweety

[wyrmmaster]

Discussing Blue Archive Lore and going progressively insane has been an experience. The Mystics, for example:

Each academy has its thing, right. Abydos is ancient Egyptian pantheon, Trinity is Christianity (+English/Irish/Scottish myth), Gehenna are the 72 demons, Valkyrie and SRT are Norse, Hyakkiyako is Japanese myth, and so on. So it's easy to establish a framework: "They're representative of cultural figures from x place".

So:

You have the ones that are Obvious: Shiroko is Anubis, Hoshino is Horus, Mika is the Archangel Michael, Seia is Gabriel, Hina is Baal, Wakamo is Tamamo no Mae, Niya is Ootakemaru, Kazusa is Cath Palug, Ako is Astaroth, among others

Then you have the ones that are "Obvious" as in "probably": Serika as Bastet, Saori as Lucifer, Nonomi as Nephtys, Nagisa as Uriel, Suzumi as Sariel, Koharu as Metatron, Hasumi as Sandalphon, Hinata as Jegudiel, Kanna as Odin, Miyako as Mimir, and so on.

Now you start getting a little out there, as you have to expand your the concept of "figure from x place" to "the concept from x place".

Shit like "well, Rin's family name is Nanagami, "Seven Gods", she's currently the highest authority at least on paper, so what if she's The Seven Holy Names of God per Jewish faith? If we assume the GSC President was capital G monotheistic God it'd make even more sense" "What if she's the seven heavenly virtues instead?" "Also possible but I think it's the former".

Then you get to fucking Millenium.

"Yuuka's halo is a simple perfect circle that looks artificial. Her birthday is 3/14. She is insanely good at math. She's pi. Stop laughing. Look at her twintails. π. Come on, keep up."

"Rio is either the Theory of Relativity both as a relation to Himari's potential Quantum Theory of Light and as an important foundation of our concept of physics, which would fit with her being MIllenium's president OR as she's the President of Millenium and created the city of Eridu, she's supposed to be the Sumerian Deity Enki, God of creation, knowledge, and water and patron deity of the ancient city Eridu." "Maybe she's both." "SHE'S PROBABLY BOTH, THANKS."

"Himari could be the Quantum Theory of Light in relation to Rio - being a more modern and complete concept, or she could be Isaac Newton, who had a mild obsession in the paranormal, like her." "What if she's also got a Mesopotamian-" "It'd be Ishtar, both because of her antagonism towards Enki in some myth her interest in the stars and as a riff on her whole conceit about her beauty. Further backed up by Eimi being her assistant that handles all the physical work, making her the Bull of Heaven. Eimi even had horns in her concept art." "Someone just put forth Euler's Identity, because it's considered a representation of mathematical beauty, like a sonnet is for poetry."

"The Game Development Department are Eroge Company references. Yuzu is Yuzusoft, Aris is Alicesoft, and the Saiba twins are Cyberworks's Wendybell and Tinkerbell. We can maybe assume that's just what they are." "Oh, thank god something stupid to end this post on-" "Aris's whole universally loved hero thing with an almighty weapon integral in saving the world might make her Gilgamesh-" "FINE OUR DAUGHTER IS GILGAMESH."

[hms-no-fun]

What was it like going from writing Homestuck characters throughout Godfeels to your original characters? Was it intimidating after so much time spent with just the Homestuck cast? I believe Lenore was the first to appear in a minor role at first, but then you have the Moon war crew, the Halo's AI and Epigone all take center stage as villains (especially those last two), but I guess you could also argue June's headmates were kind of OCs? How was it writing them in the beginning compared to now?

honestly, i never found it particularly intimidating. when i started Godfeels, i never planned to write beyond John and Jade and Terezi because they were the only characters whose voices i had a handle on. as the series continued and became more of a full-cast affair, that was the most intimidating part. learning how to write a convincing Dirk or Jane or Roxy or even Rose. the key i think is that Homestuck characters are a collection of traits which express personality in a few key ways. this is true of all fiction but it's an explicit narrative mechanism in Homestuck proper. i used to talk a fair bit about narrative building blocks, the ways Homestuck is perfectly designed to train you in the act of remixing characters. like, if i said "Jade Lalonde" to you, you'd probably have a pretty clear idea of what that character looks like despite the fact that this character does not exist in Homestuck. this is the nature of HS's hyperflexible mythology. the hardest part was just learning how these characters speak and why, which required a lot of revisiting the original comic and a multitude of drafts, and i still don't think i really got them down until well into GF3.1. the intimidation mostly vanished once i felt like i could set these characters up in a room and let them play off each other without me having to pause every few minutes to question their authenticity.

honestly, bringing OCs into Godfeels felt pretty natural. i understood the existing cast and the world they existed well enough that it was easy to invent interesting oppositions. of course it helps that, going into 3.1, i knew we were always heading towards The Land of Many Unique New Guys. i wanted to do new things with the existing cast and break from the established patterns of the series, and that meant blowing shit up and changing the status quo. most of the fiction i've written in my life has been original, so really, once i gave myself permission to do so, inventing new guys was practically second nature. frankly, this setting (particularly with the EWL) is a guy factory, because it takes HS's hyperflexible mythology as a foundation and then metaphysically incorporates the existence of MSPFAs and fan sessions to expand the possibilities. Homestuck characters are equations whose variables are remarkably elastic, so it's quite natural to shuffle the old variables around and swap some out with new ones. i think it's fun trying to find a type of guy that we've never seen in Homestuck but that still feels like a Homestuck character. the OCs i've brought into the fold in GF3 aren't independent creations that i shoehorned into this universe-- they were designed for and with this universe.

and then yeah, i mean, going back to GF2 even before Risk and Dare entered the scene, June herself is functionally an OC because she's a fusion of June and Vriska. that's the entire conflict of the story, is that suddenly John's become June and she's a Vriska now. i used to joke that she was my self-insert until a handful of haters decided to canonize it and use that as an excuse to write Godfeels off entirely (which is probably for the best tbh). really, i just wanted to relitigate the Vriscourse through the lens of a human character, explore the appeal of having a Vriska-like grip on your own agency and the ways that might turn out to be destructive. the hard part was finding a realistic middle ground between John and Vriska. by the time we got to 3.1 and the plural arc really kicked off, doing the headmates almost came as a relief. i'm having a lot of fun writing Dare because they're kind of the first time in this story i've actually been able to write a straightforwardly John character. it all feels fairly natural since, like i said, the entire process is supported by Homestuck itself.

when it comes to the Upsilon kids, i was inspired by the Omega kids of HS2/HSBC fame. i originally planned GF3 to be a mirror of the post-canon project, and that meant responding to their OCs with my own. but i didn't want that response to be linear! i didn't want them to feel like Another Group Of Homestuck Kids, nor an obvious direct response to the Omegas. GF3 is about escaping your normal and learning to live among new people, so i was very deliberate in keeping the direct-relations to a minimum. i'm sick of everything being about the characters we already know. it makes sense for HS2/HSBC to have the Omegas be the descendants of the main cast, so i figured i'd let them have that. the closest direct response is Edie, who felt necessary not just for the existence of Yiffy, but also because of Kitty from Kittyquest and the various other alternate interpretations of Jade's daughter that followed. i like the idea of "Jade's daughter" being a uniquely responsive variable, someone who is paracanonically defined by the absence of singularity. then came Dana, modeled after Dirk precisely because of his antagonistic role in GF2. they're both parts of an ongoing conversation with Homestuck-- OCs yes, but not entirely original either. Lenore happened as a result of my involvement with Vast Error, which is actually a huge inspiration for GF3 in general for how it takes Homestuck's template and changes many of the rules without feeling fundamentally unstuck from that context. that their version of Sburb is called The Game and operates on an entire different yet somewhat familiar logic is what gave me the idea to explore the Universe Engine as a system of infinite variables that the EWL must directly respond to. it can be anything. it can have anyone. and because Repiton is existentially cut off from Homestuck, i liked the idea of Lenore being this lone escapee from VE's continuity who's totally unable to go back or learn anything about her home that she didn't already knew before she left. last to the party was Alphi, who needed to be a combo breaker. six-armed muppet dressed like a prep! just an entire alien. she's by far been the most difficult character to figure out, but doing so was part of what gave me confidence in the Upsilons conceptually. these four characters should not get along. they are diametrically opposed in many respects, in stark opposition to the other kid groups who typically enter the story already friendly.

so you can see, then, how the act of writing the Upsilons is also an act of commenting upon the Betas/Alphas/Omegas. i want to see what it takes to make four people who hate each other fall in love with each other. i want to see what rhymes and what opposes. the fundamental challenge hasn't changed-- it's the characterization. once i've found their voices, the rest follows on naturally. everything new in this story is built from the bones of what came before. that's the entire project, top to bottom. yes we're in a completely new setting with a bunch of new characters after obliterating the previous status quo, but it IS still Homestuck. the hardest part of selling all these new guys was simply developing the circumstances which allowed them to emerge. in my own head i've always seen the gargantuan wordcount of Chapter 8 as the necessary cost of fulfilling that ambition. hopefully now, with 3.2 A1 and B1 finally in the can, you can see for yourself how despite all that's changed, Godfeels is still having the same fundamental conversation today that it was in 2019. albeit with a few new arguments :)

[helix-enterprises117]

Halo Reloaded: Heartbeats

John and Linda found themselves a rare slice of normalcy—or as normal as it could get for two Spartan supersoldiers who had seen more war than weddings. Their living space, though sparsely decorated, offered a comforting sanctuary from the never-ending chaos of their lives. A couple of mismatched armchairs, a rugged sofa that had seen better days, and a few personal mementos made up the decor. It was hardly the cover of "Better Homes and Gardens," but it was theirs.

Linda, barefoot and in her athletic-wear (her personal substitute for pajamas), lounged on the sofa, her legs stretched out as one leg is lazily crossed over the other. Since coming back from the brink of death with those new Forerunner-imbued powers, she'd been different—more distant, like she was listening to a song only she could hear. John, dead on his feet from the day's drills, decided to collapse right there, his head finding a soft spot in her lap. He sighed, the sound more akin to relief than exhaustion.

"What’s that? The fifth sigh in the last half hour?" Linda teased, threading her fingers through his hair.

"Just enjoying the quiet," John grunted, his voice muffled by the cushion. "It’s nice... not having to shoot at anything or anyone for a few minutes."

"Yeah, peace and quiet, the rarest commodities in the galaxy," Linda quipped, her tone light but her eyes betraying a hint of the weight she carried. "This whole telekinesis thing... it’s like learning to walk again, in someone else’s gravity."

John opened one eye and peered up at her. "But you're handling it like a champ. Always do."Linda smirked, a flash of her old self flickering through. "Flattery will get you everywhere, Spartan."

The room was steeped in a comfortable silence again, broken only by the subtle hum of the ship's engines. It was during these moments of quiet that John's senses, honed to near-perfection, picked up something new—a second set of heartbeats, faint but unmistakable.

He bolted upright, his soldier’s instincts momentarily flaring.

"Linda, are we—"

"Expecting?" she finished for him, a sly smile playing on her lips as she touched her stomach subtly. "Turns out, the artifact didn’t just bring me back and give me fancy new party tricks—it also kicked the baby factory into gear."

John’s face morphed from shock to awe as the information sank in. "Twins? Seriously?" he asked, his voice a mix of disbelief and excitement.

"Seriously," she confirmed, her eyes alight with a mixture of joy and terror. "We're going to need a bigger boat."

John laughed, the sound echoing off the metal walls, warm and genuine. "A boat, huh? What about two cribs, more diapers than we can count, and... oh, right, figuring out how to be parents?"

Linda leaned back, her laughter mingling with his. "We’ve tackled ancient alien races and saved the galaxy—how hard can raising kids be?"

"Famous last words," John quipped, his hand finding hers, fingers intertwining. "But whatever it takes, we'll figure it out. Together."

"As always," Linda agreed, her voice steady, her grip firm.

[short-wooloo]

According to a new Halo Waypoint Canon Fodder update, the Silver Team Spartans now officially exist in the Prime Halo universe, and actually appear in Halo Wars no less

See in the Halo Wars mission Arcadia Outskirts you encounter Omega Team, a six-Spartan unit, half of Omega Team was established in Halo Wars 2 DLCs to be August-099, Leon-011, and Robert-025, but the other half was left unnamed, until now

[bloodycotton]

Day fiiiiiive, god this one was hard. Is worship and adoration a love language?

Prompts by: @raven-cincaide-words

(My first language is NOT english)

Day 5.- Love Language.

Manuel Aringarosa (The Da Vinci Code, 2006) x Gn!reader (Again, i think so)

Reality is a dreadful thing, it is horrible and terrible. 

That's why the need to cling to something was a feeling that burned your soul, squeezed your heart, and made your knees weak at his very presence. 

He was everything to you: your saviour, protector, master and object of worship, without him the world would be meaningless. 

He sat by your side with a rosary in his hands for long periods of time, praying for you, that healing would come to you with his help. He cared for you diligently in your sick and weakened state, brought you back to health with complete readiness, totally devoted. 

He fed you in your mouth, with careful movements that you remembered in bits and pieces, like his large, warm hand resting on your head, and his scent, a mixture of which you could not really place any other ingredient than incense, a sacred, almost heavenly fragrance. 

When you finally managed to faintly open your eyes and could make out his silhouette blocking the light behind him, a halo of light shimmered around him. The first thought that crossed your mind was that you were looking at the creator himself, your saviour; an idea that was partly true.

He looked at you in a way that humbled you, and his hand, once again bringing you that familiarity you longed for, rested on your cheek, with care and palpable affection, tracing with its warm, calloused pad the faint features of your face.

As you looked up at him, you heard him call your name. 

“How are you feeling, my child?” His voice was low and soft at the same time. He was sitting on a chair beside the bed you were lying on, the light emitting from outside creating shadows on his face and hiding part of his expression. His fingers ran gently, from your cheek to your forehead, taking your temperature. 

The words were stuck in your throat, you moved your lips, but no sound came out of them, more than incoherent mumbles. 

Manuel frowned slightly as he watched you struggle to speak and with an almost heavenly tenderness, he lowered his hand from your forehead and took it between his own, giving you a gentle, comforting squeeze that enveloped you in a divine warmth.

“Shh, don't try to speak yet,” he murmured in a low, reverent tone, his voice echoing in your chest like a sacred chant. He rose from his chair and stopped touching your hand, pouring you a glass of water from a jug. 

He brought the glass to your lips, tilting it with a care that made you feel as if you were receiving a sacrament. “Here, this will soothe your throat,” he said, his eyes fixed on you with an intensity that seemed to penetrate your soul.

The water sliding down your throat felt like a divine gift, a balm that brought relief not only to your body, but to your spirit. At that moment, you understood that he was not only your saviour; he was the centre of your universe, the source of all light and hope, for he brought you back to life when you were in the darkest, lowest place, he gave you purpose. 

His every gesture, his every word, resonated in you like a prayer, and you couldn't help but feel that your life was tied to his presence. Manuel was the god you worshipped in silence, and every moment at his side brought you closer to a state of profound adoration, where only he and his light existed.

Manuel, seeing you revitalised, smiled with satisfaction, as if every little advance you made was a personal triumph. 

As you recovered, his visits became the centre of your existence. Every word, every gesture, resonated in you like a holy hymn. His presence was a comfort, and you felt your soul expand with his every glance. He treated you with a combination of tenderness and authority, and you couldn't help but be completely captivated by him.

One day, as he held you in his hands, he said, “You are a gift, my child, brought to me by God. You have an important role to play in this world.” His words were like a divine command, and the way he looked at you made you feel that your life had a much greater meaning than you had imagined.

You were filled with fervour. You were willing to follow him wherever he led you, to do whatever he expected of you. The idea of being part of his mission filled you with an almost sacred purpose. The desire to please him gripped you, and every action you took was guided by the need for his approval. 

Yet, in your heart, there were certain days when it was filled with shadows and doubts that quickly faded in the face of deep adoration for him. The reality of the outside world faded, and there was only Manuel, the beacon of light in your life.

The thought of disobeying him became a foreign idea, and your life revolved around his will.

[isatswap]

(spoilers for in stars and time. all of them. also to START AGAIN: a prologue.)

This World Destroyed

The prelude to TTOS events

The POV is ISAT loop's

Loop: --AND I WISH TO BE IN MY PLACE AGAIN!!!!

(You hear a loud cracking sound.)

(Like something being teared apart by force.)

(and then everything is engulfed in the weird shade)

(...)

(You wake up.)

Loop: ...?

(You can't make out anything around you.)

(There is nothing except a dim light seemingly coming out of everywhere.)

(Where....are you?)

(...!!!)

(There is someone approaching!)

The King: ....

Loop: Wait....THE KING?!?

The King: ...

Change God: *extremely loud incorrect buzzer* :P

(???)

(It's...the statue you've seen in the house.)

(Back when you were--)

Change God: brings back memories, huh (>ᴗ•)

Loop: But-- How--

Change God: didn't siffrin tell you about our meeting (¬‿¬ ) Change God: i am indeed real ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ Change God: though im not really the star of the show today (μ_μ)

Loop: That would be me, I suppose, teehee~

Change God: hihihi, you're funny (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) Change God: and i guess you are ( ◕▿◕ ) i mean you have to be something special to get a meeting with... Change God: IT.

Loop: It? And what would that be?

Change God: oh, you'll understand when you two will meet (^ω~) Change God: i'd love to talk more, but alas im only a ferryman in this situation (u_u)

(Ferryman?)

(You're not gonna die, are you....?)

Change God: who knows, really ┐(︶▽︶)┌ Change God: oh, here it comes! ＼(≧▽≦)／

(The statue runs away back into nothingness.)

(Before you can ask any more questions, you are swept off your feet by the ground seemingly disappearing.)

(The light is replaced by deep darkness, only slightly pierced by your bright head.)

(And then.... stars appear.)

(Countless stars, from all directions.)

(It's like you are in space....)

(Some of the stars seem to move independent from the others, first randomly, then concentrating in one place, some combining into a bigger ball of light, some beginning to orbit the ball.)

(And some concentrate into two vaguely hand-like shapes.)

(Some of the darkness seems to shape itself in a kind of cloak.)

(You suddenly find yourself not falling anymore, like someone switched the gravity off.)

(You look into the bright ball, trying to undestand what it is...)

(You feel like you should know.)

(You feel like you've always known.)

(You merely needed to remember.)

(It's--)

The Universe: Greetings.

(You want to say something back, but you can't)

(your body won't listen)

(you are paralyzed by fear)

The Universe: This is certainly an extraordinary occurence. The Universe: A will so strong... And to what end. The Universe: I wonder if you will think it was worth it.

(A will...so strong...?)

(Does that mean...)

(You manage to gather your strength and talk.)

Loop: D-did my wish come true...?

The Universe: ... The Universe: You know what happens when you break a wish?

(One of its hands picks a star from the halo--)

The Universe: It starts to misbehave, so to say.

(--and with a motion of fingers expands it.)

(It was not a star.)

(It was a planet.)

(It seems to be trying to break apart, the weird shade beaming from the cracks.)

The Universe: And you managed to break two at once. The Universe: The one you just made, and the one The Traveller made at the beginning of the cycle. The Universe: They cannot coexist, so they both unraveled, destroying themselves and damaging the world beyond reprieve. The Universe: Even I am unable to heal it. Even if someone could wish for it, that would just harm it even more. The Universe: So, alas...

(The ball suddenly opens at an invisible seam, revealing a monstrous maw.)

The Universe: I am taking this one back.

(...)

(You expected this to be loud.)

(Or to have any kind of sound.)

(But it was eerily quiet.)

(Like nothing ever happened.)

(Like that world....Your world....Was nothing.)

The Universe: I do not blame you. The Universe: It must be terrifying.

Loop: W-what will happen to me?

The Universe: ... The Universe: Well. The Universe: I can tell you don't want the same fate as this world. The Universe: But your wish has broken, so I cannot let you proceed further. The Universe: The only compromise is that you stay here to witness everything.

(The Universe snaps its fingers.)

(Suddenly, two people appear to the either side of you.)

(One of them is Siffrin.)

(The other one is....You?)

(You freeze.)

The Universe: Now, the previous world might have been destroyed... The Universe: But that has happened before, and it was fine. The Universe: Right, LOOP?

(!!!)

The Universe: Truth be told, despite your wish breaking, it still holds somewhat. The Universe: So Siffrin will still get the fate you desired for them. The Universe: And their place will be overtaken. The Universe: Just not exactly by "you".

Loop: ...Will...Will they remember?

The Universe: ... The Universe: Siffrin will.

(Another snap of the fingers, and the two people are gone.)

The Universe: ...I suppose that is all that you needed to see. The Universe: We might meet again here. The Universe: But for now... The Universe: Enjoy your stay.

(A bright flash of light blinds you.)

(...You wake up on the bright floor again.)

(...)

(You don't want to get up.)

(You are unsure what you're supposed to do anymore.)

[sofasoap]

Little swallow

Random idea that pops into my brain, thanks to @homicidal-slvt letting me using her fic ideas. Sorry supposedly our great Russian pilot Nikolai x Reader fic but... somehow it took a strange turn. I will write another one to make up to you later lol. No beta'd or proof-read. Set in the Mini MacTavish universe, after Zero Distance

“masterlist” for Mini MacTavish expanded verse.

“HOLD ON TIGHT!!” Letting out a loud scream ,Gaz tried and failed to grab you as you started sliding out of the helicopter. You were trying to patch poor Gaz up in the helicopter when you heard the warning from Nikolai before the helicopter made a sharp turn, narrowly avoiding the direct hit from the rocket launcher.

“MINI!!!” Arms out, trying to shield yourself from the falling debris as you tumble out of the side, thinking this is the end, you realise the cliche of your whole life flashing in front of you before you die was real, at same time you are mumbling apologies to everyone you know you will not see them for the one last time for a proper goodbye. You don’t know how you got roped into this mission. You were supposed to be just a medical backup. The boys were already not pleased that you were shoved into the frontline into the danger zone. But order is order, even with protests to the higher up from the team, you had to follow the order.

Feeling the jerk of the rope as it comes to a halt before you hit the ground, you realise you are still safe and sound. Thank heaven. You will not tell any of the boys, especially your brother, you nearly wet yourself in the process.

Braving to open your eyes,  you are hanging upside down, looking up towards the sky,the helicopter already pulling up, with sounds of gunshots and screams below you getting further away.

“I am going to pull you up now, stay tight!” You heard Gaz shouting down from the helicopter as you try to catch your breath, head still reeling from the near death experience.

“Status update Nik?!!” You heard Price’s voice through the comm. “Mini fell out of the halo, Sergeant is pulling her up right now!” “Say what?!!” You can feel Price’s anger sipping through even over the comm. 

“Nik.”Price growled as he pulled you into embrace after the helicopter landed at the rendezvous point. “I would really appreciate it if you stop making attempts to kill off any of my crews.” 

Raising his hands up, shaking his head, “I am sorry, I am trying. It’s either that or all of us go down together. I did tell them to tighten up the seatbelt before we lifted off. Luckily this ласточка (little swallow)  listened to me.” Nikolai gives you a wink as you feel your cheeks burning with embarrassment.

“What do you say,  милая ( darling ), I'll buy you a drink as an apology?” “Nik.”

“What.” “STOP flirting with my wife.”

Nikolai has a tendency of throwing Price's crew out of the helicopter, to his dismay. Price is chomping Nik's head off for trying to flirt with Mini.

[skill7spark04]

The Halo Bible Abridged:

Here's the entire halo bible abridged: "the precursors invent all life in the universe because "we bored lol" and thus life evolves and exists. from these lifeforms sprout the forerunners, who are big simps over the precursors, wanting to also become god. Then, while nothing interesting happens in the universe, humanity evolves into existence, expanding faster than their big forerunner brother. They are more chill and kind and less childish and fanboying than the forerunners. This will be important later. Eventually, the precursors want to retire from being gods, so they all hold a vote on whether humanity or forerunners get the mantle of responsibility (literally godhood). humanity wins unanimously, cause no one likes a kiss-ass, and the forerunners throw a tantrum about it, eventually murdering the Precursors. (meanwhile humanity: "OOH! SPACE DOG!") humanity eventually asks where god went and the forerunners said they left to get milk, and left them in charge of the godhood. humanity was distraught by this news, knowing what getting the milk means. Meanwhile the primordial, the last precursor, malds and seethes for so long that they catch fire and burn to death, creating what would be come to know as cocaine. Humans discover this strange substance and their dog IMMEDIATELY sniffed it.

 because it made their dogs virtually immortal, they proceed to administer this to all the space dogs. Then, a week later, all the dogs get sick at the same time, and turn into gross zombies that then start the walking dead in space. humanity successfully ALMOST contains the flood, but then they shoot an infected forerunner ship. This causes the Didact to blow a fuse and mald so hard he has no hairs left. The forerunners, being petty children, proceed to nuke humanity back to the stone age. literally. Then the Didact proceeds to turn most of them into e-boys, until his wife stops him with the master ball, and then locks him in the pc with her shiny gyarados and green mewtwo. The forerunners, completely lost without their general, get their shit rocked by space zombies, who also convinces their robots that murder is ok using a brand new tactic never seen before: GASLIGHTING! The forerunners start losing so bad, they decide if they can't live, no one can. so they put all living creatures in giant freezers, (including the flood, stupidly,) and set the microwave to defrost in 30 billion years, before creating giant rings to divorce the galaxy from life. this starves all the space zombies, (except the ones in their emergency meat locker) and save the galaxy. eventually, life thaws out and humanity evolves for the 3rd time ever, and then the events of the books and the games and terminals happen. that is the halo bible, abridged by yours truly."