#halfbrickedwrongtime2025

[jessthebaker]

By the Gods

This is for the gorgeous @beefrobeefcal 's Half Bricked, Wrong Time February Prompt Challenge!

I've never written for Oberyn before, this is barely titled, no beta, minimal editing, I don't know if it's crack or serious or both, but I'm yeeting this out into the world and running away again. Enjoy!

word count 1.6k

rating: Mature (duh, it's Oberyn)

“Oh, Seven, not again.” Oberyn mutters as he opens his email and sees a message from HR waiting for him. It’s right at the very top, with the little red exclamation marks to denote High Importance. Oberyn hates those exclamation marks. They only seem to turn up when he’s done something that he deems (personally) perfectly appropriate. But HR never seems to think so.

The head of HR is a man Oberyn loathes but can’t seem to get away from. Oberyn doesn’t hate his job, rather he quite likes it. He likes what he does and he’s good at it. But dealing with HR is another story.

The HR manager, Ty Lane, is an older man with a bad case of resting grump face. He constantly looked as if, if he wore glasses, he’d be glaring at you over the top of them. Quietly, Oberyn thinks Ty looks like an angry, elderly lion.

Oberyn sighs as he skims over the details of Ty’s email. Date, time, place, all the usual. Current infraction: ‘Inappropriate workplace relations’. What else was new? Oberyn has a feeling he knows which particular circumstance this one was referencing.

Last week he had been daydreaming at his desk when he noticed you walking past his cubicle. Of course he noticed you. He found you incredibly attractive; the way you walked, the confidence with which you moved, the defiance in your eyes that said “I’m here and if you don’t like it, fuck off.” Oberyn appreciated confidence.

You were fairly new in the office. He hadn’t seen you around before about last month, yet you had already made a name for yourself though with the quality of the work you turned in. The management were impressed with your quiet efficiency and the way you didn’t overtly call attention to yourself. But somehow you demanded respect and by the gods, you got it.

On this particular occasion, he couldn’t take his eyes off your ass. You’d caught him staring, given him a wink and a little extra swish of your hips as you passed.

So how could anybody reasonably blame Oberyn for admiring such a perfect specimen of a human ass? Yours was perfect. He had to get a better look. You had practically told him to look.

And yet, apparently someone blamed him for looking. Because now he has that damned email from Ty Lane sitting in his inbox, waiting for that Read Receipt, confirming his appearance at the next mandatory workplace training.

He clicks Accept with another sigh. Then he gathers his thoughts for the rest of his workday.

At the appointed day and time, Oberyn finds himself sitting in a half-circle made of uncomfortably straight-backed chairs with a few other co-workers who, he supposed, had been dobbed in for similar infractions as he was. And...you. Why in the Mother’s name were YOU in here too? Oberyn’s mind wandered as he let himself imagine the myriad reasons you might have been called into this awful torture session.

Mr Lane was droning through his PowerPoint presentation detailing all those things you were and weren’t supposed to do in the workplace. And all the things you were and weren’t supposed to do with your coworkers. And...was that...was that? Celine Dion’s voice singing as background music?

Where does my heart beat now? Where is the sound That only echoes through the night?

Oberyn is trying to pay attention, he really is. His mind wanders again. To you. You’re just so...sexy. Confident. So perfect. So sultry as you just go about your day. The unwitting reason he’s in this room in the first place. He tries to keep his eyes to himself, but he can’t resist glancing over at you for a peek. Fuck. You’re openly watching him, not even trying to be subtle. You give Oberyn a wink and flick your eyes forward again. Pretending to pay attention to Ty’s boring slideshow.

Next time Oberyn looks over to you, he’s ready. You’re looking at him again and this time, he drops you a wink of his own. He sees your cheeks darken slightly and your eyes flash momentarily.

Where does my heart beat now? I can't live without, without feeling it inside I've need someone to give my heart to

Oberyn’s imagination strolls off again at what you might be thinking about. He only comes back to himself as he hears someone saying his name. Mr Lane. It sounds as if it’s not the first time he’s said it. Shit.

Oberyn senses a dreadful feeling of his pants growing tight. And he feels the unmistakeable tingling of his cock making itself known.

I feel it getting stronger and stronger and stronger, yeah And I feel inside Hearts are made to last till the end of time

His cock is definitely growing harder and he can feel it pulsing to the beat of Celine’s song. Shit.

Ty is speaking now. “Mr Martell, would you join us to role-play out the scenario we’ve been discussing. Please come up to the front. Your partner will be --” and he said the worst possible choice for partner: your name.

Oberyn’s brain stops briefly. His cock is at full mast and he knows it’ll be visible through the soft linen pants he prefers to wear. There’s no way he should be standing up right now, in front of a room full of people at a fucking sexual harassment meeting of all times. With YOU.

He puts on his most sincere face and attempts sanity. “Mr Lane, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Ty’s eyes narrow. “Oberyn, you are here and participation is mandatory. Get up here.”

“Mr Lane….being reasonable, this isn’t something you really want me to do right now.”

“Martell. NOW.”

Oberyn sighs. “Alright. Just remember, this is what you wanted.”

He stands and walks to the space at the front of the room. Ty’s attention has turned to you now as you walk up to join Oberyn, so he misses seeing the obvious tent in Oberyn’s pants. As you and Oberyn reach the front together and turn to face your audience, a gasp breaks the silence and a few snorts erupt from those watching. Oberyn’s mouth half-lifts up in a smirk.

Ty is not having it.

“People, we are all adults and we are here for a reason. Settle down, please. You two,” He gestures to the two of you with an exasperated wave of his hand. “continue. Now.”

In the scenario you and Oberyn are attempting to recreate, one employee is making unwanted advances toward the co-worker. The other is supposed to be shutting it down and ending the interaction before reporting it to HR. Oberyn expected he would be taking the role of the unwanted aggressor, given his reputation, but you surprise him by immediately starting with that role. Forcing him to take the receiving role.

“Well, hell-oooo gorgeous, how have I never seen YOU around here before? Where have you been hiding this incredible body?” You step closer and riffle the collar of his shirt, which (as usual) was barely hanging on to his shoulders due to its missing top three buttons.

He’s stunned. He can’t tell if you’re just a very good actor, or if you’re being serious. He hopes it’s the latter. His cock desperately adds its vote for the latter too.

Ty is silently shooting daggers at Oberyn as he tries to catch up and deliver his expected lines. “uh, why, hello, I don’t really -”

You continue as if he hadn’t said a word, and take another step closer. “You know, it’s really a shame we don’t work in the same department. We could be spending a lot - more - time - together,” as your first two fingers walk down the front of his buttonband and pause just above his waistband.

Oberyn didn’t think it was possible but his cock is growing even harder. You’re up close in his space, he can smell the scent of your hair, and the gleam in your eyes is practically shouting at him to bed you. He’s so hard it aches. He can’t think straight. What have you done to him? He’s supposed to be the office rogue, but here you are practically fucking him with your eyes in front of a room full of people.

He takes a breath. Finds his control. Takes a step back and grasps your hand and gently moves it back down to your side.

He says the lines expected of him, “This is neither the time nor the place, and I’m afraid you are making me uncomfortable. Please stop.” His voice is serious, but his eyes are locked with yours in flirtatious challenge. His hand is still holding yours and he’s making no effort to let go now that the act is over.

You’ve both fallen silent, standing stock-still, your eyes are still locked onto each other. A frission passes between you and suddenly the tension ebbs as Ty’s voice floats out as if from a distance. “Finally, thank you. You may sit down now.”

You and Oberyn startle back to your senses with Ty’s voice. Your glance flickers down at Oberyn’s crotch and his cock jumps in response. Oberyn squeezes your hand with another smirk. You take the obvious invitation and practically drag Oberyn out the door by the hand. You’ve both bolted so quickly that the door slams and bangs back open, swaying with the breeze of your passing.

Ty stares after you, dumbfounded, while the remaining participants in the room are giggling and whispering amongst themselves.

Poor Mr Lane. He can’t decide whether to follow you both and start proceedings now, or let you get it out of your systems first. He shakes his head and shuffles his paperwork before sighing to himself, “fucking Martells.”

[beefrobeefcal]

JESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

I love this so much! I don't even feel bad for dopey Mr Lane - he shouldn't be such a cockblocker 🍆🆓

Thanks for participating!

By the Gods

This is for the gorgeous @beefrobeefcal 's Half Bricked, Wrong Time February Prompt Challenge!

I've never written for Oberyn before, this is barely titled, no beta, minimal editing, I don't know if it's crack or serious or both, but I'm yeeting this out into the world and running away again. Enjoy!

word count 1.6k

rating: Mature (duh, it's Oberyn)

“Oh, Seven, not again.” Oberyn mutters as he opens his email and sees a message from HR waiting for him. It’s right at the very top, with the little red exclamation marks to denote High Importance. Oberyn hates those exclamation marks. They only seem to turn up when he’s done something that he deems (personally) perfectly appropriate. But HR never seems to think so.

The head of HR is a man Oberyn loathes but can’t seem to get away from. Oberyn doesn’t hate his job, rather he quite likes it. He likes what he does and he’s good at it. But dealing with HR is another story.

The HR manager, Ty Lane, is an older man with a bad case of resting grump face. He constantly looked as if, if he wore glasses, he’d be glaring at you over the top of them. Quietly, Oberyn thinks Ty looks like an angry, elderly lion.

Oberyn sighs as he skims over the details of Ty’s email. Date, time, place, all the usual. Current infraction: ‘Inappropriate workplace relations’. What else was new? Oberyn has a feeling he knows which particular circumstance this one was referencing.

Last week he had been daydreaming at his desk when he noticed you walking past his cubicle. Of course he noticed you. He found you incredibly attractive; the way you walked, the confidence with which you moved, the defiance in your eyes that said “I’m here and if you don’t like it, fuck off.” Oberyn appreciated confidence.

You were fairly new in the office. He hadn’t seen you around before about last month, yet you had already made a name for yourself though with the quality of the work you turned in. The management were impressed with your quiet efficiency and the way you didn’t overtly call attention to yourself. But somehow you demanded respect and by the gods, you got it.

On this particular occasion, he couldn’t take his eyes off your ass. You’d caught him staring, given him a wink and a little extra swish of your hips as you passed.

So how could anybody reasonably blame Oberyn for admiring such a perfect specimen of a human ass? Yours was perfect. He had to get a better look. You had practically told him to look.

And yet, apparently someone blamed him for looking. Because now he has that damned email from Ty Lane sitting in his inbox, waiting for that Read Receipt, confirming his appearance at the next mandatory workplace training.

He clicks Accept with another sigh. Then he gathers his thoughts for the rest of his workday.

At the appointed day and time, Oberyn finds himself sitting in a half-circle made of uncomfortably straight-backed chairs with a few other co-workers who, he supposed, had been dobbed in for similar infractions as he was. And...you. Why in the Mother’s name were YOU in here too? Oberyn’s mind wandered as he let himself imagine the myriad reasons you might have been called into this awful torture session.

Mr Lane was droning through his PowerPoint presentation detailing all those things you were and weren’t supposed to do in the workplace. And all the things you were and weren’t supposed to do with your coworkers. And...was that...was that? Celine Dion’s voice singing as background music?

Where does my heart beat now? Where is the sound That only echoes through the night?

Oberyn is trying to pay attention, he really is. His mind wanders again. To you. You’re just so...sexy. Confident. So perfect. So sultry as you just go about your day. The unwitting reason he’s in this room in the first place. He tries to keep his eyes to himself, but he can’t resist glancing over at you for a peek. Fuck. You’re openly watching him, not even trying to be subtle. You give Oberyn a wink and flick your eyes forward again. Pretending to pay attention to Ty’s boring slideshow.

Next time Oberyn looks over to you, he’s ready. You’re looking at him again and this time, he drops you a wink of his own. He sees your cheeks darken slightly and your eyes flash momentarily.

Where does my heart beat now? I can't live without, without feeling it inside I've need someone to give my heart to

Oberyn’s imagination strolls off again at what you might be thinking about. He only comes back to himself as he hears someone saying his name. Mr Lane. It sounds as if it’s not the first time he’s said it. Shit.

Oberyn senses a dreadful feeling of his pants growing tight. And he feels the unmistakeable tingling of his cock making itself known.

I feel it getting stronger and stronger and stronger, yeah And I feel inside Hearts are made to last till the end of time

His cock is definitely growing harder and he can feel it pulsing to the beat of Celine’s song. Shit.

Ty is speaking now. “Mr Martell, would you join us to role-play out the scenario we’ve been discussing. Please come up to the front. Your partner will be --” and he said the worst possible choice for partner: your name.

Oberyn’s brain stops briefly. His cock is at full mast and he knows it’ll be visible through the soft linen pants he prefers to wear. There’s no way he should be standing up right now, in front of a room full of people at a fucking sexual harassment meeting of all times. With YOU.

He puts on his most sincere face and attempts sanity. “Mr Lane, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Ty’s eyes narrow. “Oberyn, you are here and participation is mandatory. Get up here.”

“Mr Lane….being reasonable, this isn’t something you really want me to do right now.”

“Martell. NOW.”

Oberyn sighs. “Alright. Just remember, this is what you wanted.”

He stands and walks to the space at the front of the room. Ty’s attention has turned to you now as you walk up to join Oberyn, so he misses seeing the obvious tent in Oberyn’s pants. As you and Oberyn reach the front together and turn to face your audience, a gasp breaks the silence and a few snorts erupt from those watching. Oberyn’s mouth half-lifts up in a smirk.

Ty is not having it.

“People, we are all adults and we are here for a reason. Settle down, please. You two,” He gestures to the two of you with an exasperated wave of his hand. “continue. Now.”

In the scenario you and Oberyn are attempting to recreate, one employee is making unwanted advances toward the co-worker. The other is supposed to be shutting it down and ending the interaction before reporting it to HR. Oberyn expected he would be taking the role of the unwanted aggressor, given his reputation, but you surprise him by immediately starting with that role. Forcing him to take the receiving role.

“Well, hell-oooo gorgeous, how have I never seen YOU around here before? Where have you been hiding this incredible body?” You step closer and riffle the collar of his shirt, which (as usual) was barely hanging on to his shoulders due to its missing top three buttons.

He’s stunned. He can’t tell if you’re just a very good actor, or if you’re being serious. He hopes it’s the latter. His cock desperately adds its vote for the latter too.

Ty is silently shooting daggers at Oberyn as he tries to catch up and deliver his expected lines. “uh, why, hello, I don’t really -”

You continue as if he hadn’t said a word, and take another step closer. “You know, it’s really a shame we don’t work in the same department. We could be spending a lot - more - time - together,” as your first two fingers walk down the front of his buttonband and pause just above his waistband.

Oberyn didn’t think it was possible but his cock is growing even harder. You’re up close in his space, he can smell the scent of your hair, and the gleam in your eyes is practically shouting at him to bed you. He’s so hard it aches. He can’t think straight. What have you done to him? He’s supposed to be the office rogue, but here you are practically fucking him with your eyes in front of a room full of people.

He takes a breath. Finds his control. Takes a step back and grasps your hand and gently moves it back down to your side.

He says the lines expected of him, “This is neither the time nor the place, and I’m afraid you are making me uncomfortable. Please stop.” His voice is serious, but his eyes are locked with yours in flirtatious challenge. His hand is still holding yours and he’s making no effort to let go now that the act is over.

You’ve both fallen silent, standing stock-still, your eyes are still locked onto each other. A frission passes between you and suddenly the tension ebbs as Ty’s voice floats out as if from a distance. “Finally, thank you. You may sit down now.”

You and Oberyn startle back to your senses with Ty’s voice. Your glance flickers down at Oberyn’s crotch and his cock jumps in response. Oberyn squeezes your hand with another smirk. You take the obvious invitation and practically drag Oberyn out the door by the hand. You’ve both bolted so quickly that the door slams and bangs back open, swaying with the breeze of your passing.

Ty stares after you, dumbfounded, while the remaining participants in the room are giggling and whispering amongst themselves.

Poor Mr Lane. He can’t decide whether to follow you both and start proceedings now, or let you get it out of your systems first. He shakes his head and shuffles his paperwork before sighing to himself, “fucking Martells.”