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pinnithin-writes · 4 years ago

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The Weight of Living

When the rift in space was sealed and the Resonance Cascade had ended, one glaring problem remained: they were homeless. Not in the “dire financial straits” way so much as the “our living quarters were destroyed by an interdimensional anomaly” way. It was midnight when they left the Chuck E. Cheese, and they had nowhere to go.

Hi I wrote this to cope. Sometimes you just gotta have a nervous breakdown in a hotel room with the love of your life. 5285 words.

It was never really discussed that Gordon would go with Tommy. It just sort of happened. Bubby and Dr. Coomer had dispersed to figure out their own way, and Tommy’s father had vanished to deal with some vast, cosmic problem. Once they were alone in the parking lot, Gordon had grabbed Tommy by his lapels and kissed him, searing him to his core like a solar flare.

They drove. Las Cruces was sleepy and dim; the only businesses open in the middle of the night were 24 hour diners and the Walmart Supercenter. They stopped to venture into that liminal space, numbly picking up packets of clean underwear and cheap t-shirts and armfuls of snacks while the employees they passed quietly stocked shelves. It felt surreal, dreamlike after the chaos and gunfire of the past week. Tommy found himself on edge despite the lack of danger as they wandered the aisles, bathed under the incandescent light.

Tommy paid. Gordon’s wallet had been destroyed along with his locker.

Gordon dozed with his head against the window pane, drifting in and out of consciousness, mumbling half-baked observations as he fought to stay awake. Stuff about the night sky and funny billboards they passed, his voice low and soft in his exhaustion. “There’s a La Quinta over there,” he murmured sleepily, and Tommy pulled in.

A double room was $55 a night. They must’ve looked awful, standing at the reception desk in their bloodstained clothes, plastic grocery bags in hand, one man half dead with exhaustion and the other a rubber band about to snap. The receptionist made the transaction without comment, smiling mildly as they handed over the envelope with their keycards.

“Down the hall to your left,” they said, and Tommy steered Gordon in the right direction.

Perhaps this was one of those situations that should have warranted some nervousness on Tommy’s part. He and Gordon, alone together in a hotel room. Their relationship didn’t exactly fall into any category Tommy would have previously considered: they were strangers not even a week ago, but living through the worst experience of their respective lives together had drawn them to certain unnameable proximity. He felt a twinge of loss as he swiped the key card and unlocked the door. This should have thrilled him. In another life, they would have been able to do this like real people - flirt in passing in the break room and take each other out to dinner and maybe fool around later after a bottle of wine.

Now they were both just tired.

The room was clean, decorated with that bland tackiness that marked a place as temporary. They deposited their grocery bags on the desk and Gordon drifted to the bathroom while Tommy stocked their perishables in the mini fridge. He heard the water cut on.

Keeping himself busy, he took out the phone charger he’d bought and removed it from the packaging, casting around a moment for Gordon’s phone before remembering it was gone along with his wallet. He plugged his own cell in instead, standing in that little aisle between the beds where the nightstand was. Connected his phone to the hotel wifi. That’s another thing Gordon would need, he thought as he mindlessly opened messages and didn’t answer them. A phone and a wallet and an apartment and a ring of keys to call his own and a bed and a good night’s sleep and a job he didn’t hate and -

He locked his phone. At least right now he was getting a shower. Gordon deserved a lot of things - a shower was a decent start.

Tommy removed his shoes, which were all but ruined. Undid his tie and shucked off his lab coat, folding them neatly out of habit even though he immediately crossed the room to pitch them in the trash. His ears were ringing with a staticky fuzz in the calm silence, like they were expecting a flash grenade or the wail of a monster that would never come.

It was over. It was over.

The water cut off, and after some shuffling the bathroom door opened, letting out an exhale of steam. Gordon emerged, looking more human than Tommy had ever seen him.

He didn’t know why he felt the need to avert his eyes. It wasn’t like he was naked as he stood there in his one dollar pair of Hanes and his three dollar souvenir shirt and his gentle smile that couldn’t possibly have a price. Hair soft and clean, steadily drying in the open air, falling freely around his shoulders. The HEV suit had made Gordon’s silhouette hard around the edges, solid and unyielding, but now his shoulders were sloped in a relaxed set of parenthesis.

Soft and achingly mortal. How he survived all this was a miracle. Tommy only stared at him a little like that.

Gordon caught his gaze and raised his eyebrows ever so slightly. “What?”

Tommy faltered. “Here’s - I - you can use my phone if you need to make any calls,” he said, nodding to where the device sat on the table. “I left it unlocked.”

He quickly hurried past him to the bathroom, snatching the grocery bag with his clothes in it on the way.

---

He was never looking at showers the same way ever again.

Tommy found himself running his fingers through his hair over and over afterward as he stood in front of the mirror. Clean, clean, finally clean. A quick pass over his jaw and he felt stubble. Too bad he forgot to pick up a razor.

He didn’t know wearing clean clothes could feel so much like putting on new skin, how much he took that luxury for granted before the events of the past week. He ripped the tag out of the shirt collar, flicked it in the trash, and pulled it over his head. Once he’d slipped on a pair of sweatpants - glorious, comfortable - he left the bathroom.

Bare feet on carpet felt good, too, even though it was that questionable, threadbare hotel carpet. There was just this inherent sensation of being able to breathe, finally, after peeling off the layers of blood and sweat and dirt that the Resonance Cascade had coated them with. The lights were all out except for the lamp on the nightstand. Tommy was ready to collapse into bed.

He stopped short when he saw Gordon, still awake at the edge of the bed he’d picked, the one closest to the window. His legs were tucked up criss-crossed and he was staring at his hands, loosely interlaced in his lap. He looked up at Tommy’s approach and his breath audibly caught.

No one had ever looked at Tommy like that before. Like he was some kind of unexpected gift.

Gordon finally found his voice. “That shirt looks good on you.”

Tommy glanced down, caught the Chuck E Cheese logo with its mascot printed on its surface, and snorted out a laugh. “Thanks,” he said. “Yours is good, too.”

“Yeah?” Gordon asked, smiling despite his exhaustion. He was wearing a shirt with chili peppers - one green and one red - and the text Go Both Ways stamped across the front. “I thought it was befitting.”

Chuckling, Tommy sat at the edge of the other bed, and his legs stretched long enough to almost bridge the gap between the two. He checked the clock. It was 01:15.

“You’re - I thought you’d be asleep already,” he admitted.

Gordon shook his head, still openly staring. “Couldn’t,” was all he said.

He didn’t have to elaborate. The safety in numbers instinct had ingrained upon them so rapidly in Black Mesa that it was difficult to imagine sleeping without someone taking watch. Even in this dingy hotel room, miles away from what used to be the facility, neither of them felt completely safe. Probably wouldn’t for a while.

“I’ll be right here, Mr. Freeman,” Tommy told Gordon, indicating his side of the room.

Gordon nodded, his smile fragile. “Okay.”

“It’s over,” he said, firmly, in as much an attempt to convince himself as it was for Gordon’s sake.

He nodded again. “Yeah.”

They sat there like that, the distance yawning between them, waiting for the other to speak. There was so much to be said, and hurtling through hell they had never been able to find the time or space to say it. Now, it was like the weight of their words would shatter them if they voiced them aloud. The space between the set of beds may as well have been the ocean.

Tommy broke the silence. “Do you wanna-”

“Yeah.”

And then Gordon Freeman was climbing into bed with him.

Tommy felt a brief swoop of panic in his stomach at the willingness with which the other man did so. It shouldn’t have felt so natural, to scoot aside and make room for him, to settle against the pillows together, Gordon on the right side and Tommy on the left. But they’d done this before, hadn’t they? Resting with their backs to a wall so they couldn’t be crept up upon, shoulder to shoulder, bone tired, weapon in hand. Rather, weapon as hand.

A hotel double in a La Quinta was not quite the same thing, but Tommy couldn’t imagine sleeping alone right now, and he suspected Gordon felt the same way. He’d clambered in close but not too close, keeping to his side of the bed so Tommy could have his space. Something welled up in his chest as he watched Gordon situate himself, pulling the covers back with careful hands, and he took a moment to examine how he felt.

This wasn’t a thrill of proximity, and his pulse didn’t race rabbitlike under his skin at the thought of Gordon sleeping with him. It was quieter than that. Gentler. An affection that crept up on him slow like a sunbeam across a hardwood floor. Gordon, here beside him, wonderfully human as he was. Just as he had been the entire week, and as Tommy hoped he would be for weeks to come. The thought of them folding into sleep together was a comfort. It felt… right.

It felt like home.

Once Gordon had set his glasses on the bedside table, he gave Tommy a weary smile. “Goodnight, Tommy.”

“Goodnight.”

He reached for the light switch, but his hand hesitated midair. Several seconds of stillness passed where Tommy watched him carefully.

Then the muscles of Gordon’s throat worked delicately as he found his voice. The words came out unstable. “Shit... I really can’t do this, huh?”

Tommy understood all at once what the problem was. The last time the room had cut to black, foreign hands held him fast and a blade cleaved through his arm. Sure, his father had given the limb back to him, but the fear the incident birthed had crawled inside him and settled there, stuck tight to his lungs.

Tommy chose his words carefully. “You can um, you can leave it on,” he said. “If you want. It won’t bother me.”

Gordon balled his hand into a shaking fist and let it drop to his side. The laugh he let out was soured. “I shouldn’t have to. I sh - I should be able to turn the fucking lights off, man.”

It didn’t matter what he should have been able to do; the fact remained that he couldn’t, and probably wouldn’t for a long while. Tommy didn’t know how to tell him that without sounding like some detached, emotionless asshole, so he remained silent. Gordon kept his eyes on the duvet. His hand was still in a fist.

“This week fucking took everything from me,” he said, so quiet he was almost inaudible.

“It - yeah,” Tommy agreed softly. “It was pretty fucked up.”

Another humorless laugh hissed out of him. “It was so fucked up,” he nodded, his words teetering on the precipice of something. “God, Tommy, it was so fucking fucked up. Why did we-“ half a sob choked out of him. “Why did it have to be us?”

“Mr. Freeman...”

“We went through all that bullshit and everyone at Black Mesa still died . We didn’t save a single fucking person, and now I can’t even - I can’t - I c - c-“

Gordon pressed the heel of his hand so hard against his teeth Tommy worried he was going to draw blood. Tentatively, he reached out to touch his shoulder, light and questioning. Gordon leaned into it immediately as he fell to pieces, curling in against Tommy while short, gasping breaths ran through him.

As soon as he was certain the other man wanted to be held, Tommy slid both arms around Gordon and pulled him in tight.

Gordon was suffocating at the bottom of the ocean, finding himself face to face with everything he’d done all at once. Tommy held him close as sob after shuddering sob wrenched out of him. There were no words to make this better, to undo what had happened to them. He rested his chin on top of Gordon’s head and let him cry messily into his shirt.

The sound of his grief was awful. Something small broke inside Tommy upon hearing it. He threaded an idle hand in his hair, running through the dampened locks over and over, a repetition to soothe himself and Gordon in equal measure. He smelled like salt and cheap hotel soap, and his sobs rolled through him like tidal waves.

This hurt. This was good and it hurt. This was good for him.

Gordon fell asleep like that, against Tommy’s chest, completely worn out. There was a damp spot of tears and drool on Tommy’s shirt, which he didn’t mind, whisking it away with a small wave of his free hand. He kept his other hand buried in his hair, holding him close until his eyes drifted shut, too.

He left the light on.

---

Gordon slept for eighteen hours.

Tommy slept for ten, which was still a lot considering his usual sleeping habits. When he awoke with Gordon still curled up against him, one heavy arm slung around his waist, he nearly forgot how to breathe. His face was soft and yielding, untroubled by gunfire and alien teeth as he slumbered. Tommy took a moment just to stare at him like that, small and quiet and temporal. He was beautiful.

How could someone so soft and lovely endure so much? How could he keep that heart full of love through all that pain? Whoever Gordon Freeman had been at the start of this disaster, he certainly wasn’t the same person now, even as he slept so deep and gentle into the crook of Tommy’s shoulder. Tears welled suddenly in his eyes and he brushed them away with haste.

It was a perversion of humanity, a death of the self. What an injustice.

He eventually extricated himself from the warm tangle of limbs under the covers, leaving Gordon to doze into the hotel pillow without much disturbance. He took care of all those things that humans needed to take care of upon awakening - used the bathroom, washed his face, brushed his teeth. Normal. This was what normal was. As he got dressed, he avoided looking at his reflection in the mirror.

Tommy busied himself until Gordon awoke. He took out the trash in the wastebin - it reeked from their discarded clothing - and walked it to the dumpster out back. He unloaded the rest of their purchases from the previous night, sorting and organizing them on the polished wooden desk. Pairs of socks, a cheap wristwatch, a packet of hair ties. His and Gordon’s. Gordon’s and his. His hand paused over an empty picture frame he had watched Gordon grab off the Walmart shelf on impulse.

The smiling, watermarked child that stood in as a placeholder for a real photo was identical to the one Gordon had kept in his old locker. Tommy traced his finger along the edge of the frame and smiled. He set it on the desk next to his wallet.

He paced. Showered again. Thought about turning on the TV and decided against it. He didn’t want the noise to wake his companion.

He was sitting against the foot of the bed and scrolling through apartment listings on his phone when a muffled noise signaled Gordon waking. Tommy set his phone down and watched the other man shift and yawn, blinking sleepily as he raised his head to look around. There was a brief flicker of confusion in his eyes before they landed on Tommy, and his expression relaxed.

“Mornin,’” he mumbled. His voice was low and hoarse from days’ worth of shouting, coming out of him in a lovely purr.

Affection spread slow and warm in Tommy’s chest. “It’s seven o’clock in the evening,” he informed him.

Gordon scratched his head, hair tousled and wonderfully messy. “How long was I out?” he asked.

Tommy told him.

“Fuck,” he said. “Alright.” He raised his arms overhead in a massive stretch. “Gotta… get back on a routine, huh?”

Tommy liked Gordon like this. Muted and calm, not fully awake, words slow to rise to his mouth. “We’ll figure it out,” he assured him.

They had time, here. In this temporary home they’d made for themselves.

Gordon’s gaze stuck on Tommy for a while longer until he registered the distance away he sat, the glow of the lamp on the bedside table, still alight from the previous night. His breath hitched suddenly in his throat. “Oh, shit,” he uttered, dropping his eyes self-consciously to the comforter. “Tommy, I’m sorry. I like - I just kinda fell apart there.”

“I’m - I think you had every right to, Mr. Freeman,” Tommy intoned quietly. “You went through a lot.”

“So did you, man,” Gordon replied immediately, dark eyes snapping back up to meet his. “So did you. Thank you for being there for me.”

Tommy didn’t acknowledge his answer fully. He spun his phone around in a circle with his index finger and said nothing. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Gordon with the heaviness that now settled in the pit of his stomach. He did. He just didn’t know how to articulate it, how to take it out and examine it under the light and untangle it thread by painful thread. It was safest, he felt, to leave it untouched for the time being.

“Anyway I’m starving,” Gordon said finally, sensing Tommy’s discomfort and changing the subject appropriately. “You wanna like, order takeout or something?”

He nodded. Takeout sounded good.

The following hours passed, in which Tommy and Gordon slowly remembered how to be human. They remembered the taste of cheap noodles out of styrofoam containers. They remembered the dull roar of cars on the distant highway. They remembered laughter, passing Tommy’s phone back and forth to share funny videos.

They didn’t go anywhere – there was little to do in Las Cruces in the middle of the night, and they were both a little fragile to drive to the nearest city with its loud noises and flashing lights. Instead, they tightroped between close and casual in the quiet cocoon of the hotel room.

Some activities were perfectly safe. Mundane and natural. Watching old game show reruns, throwing out guesses and commentaries at the Wheel of Fortune contestants like it was a football game. It felt good, caring about something that had such little consequence.

Other things felt so desperately intimate Tommy thought he might drown. Working out the knots in one another’s shoulders, skin on scar-tallied skin, after carrying the collective weight of the world together. Tommy was struck by how impossible it seemed, that this soft, wordless love was their reward for what they endured.

It didn’t feel entirely real to him. He didn’t feel like he deserved it.

Morning began to dawn, thin and pale, behind the window. Tommy drew back the curtain and watched the distant desert bleed with gold. Behind him, he heard Gordon yawn.

“You should sleep,” Tommy suggested quietly.

When this was met with silence, he turned to look at Gordon, where he sat cross-legged on the bed that was still made. He had the hotel notepad balanced on one knee, glasses halfway down the bridge of his nose as he wrote something down. He raised his eyes to look at Tommy when he noticed him watching.

“Huh?” he asked.

“If you’re tired, you should sleep,” Tommy reiterated.

“Oh, no I’m-“ his sentence was split by another yawn. “I mean, I am. But I can-“ he flicked a look to the alarm clock on the bedside table. The face read 06:27. “I can stay up a few more hours. Maybe falling asleep at noon will get me closer to normal.”

Tommy guessed that Gordon would crash long before that, if his own lingering exhaustion was any indication, but he didn’t voice this aloud. Instead, he offered, “the breakfast buffet should be open,” and watched the other man’s expression brighten.

He volunteered to load down a few plates with food and bring them back to their room so they could eat with their privacy intact. Tommy made a note to remember what Gordon asked for - sausage and eggs, biscuits and gravy if they had any. Now that they no longer had to concern themselves with the immediacy of dying, Tommy wanted to memorize all of Gordon’s favorite things, learning them and tucking them away over time like he was supposed to. How he liked his coffee. If he even liked coffee at all.

There was time for this now. It was over.

---

When Tommy returned, paper plates in hand, he found Gordon sitting on the edge of the bed by the window and watching the news. The story was about an explosion in the New Mexico wilderness, out near Doña Ana County. He drew up beside him as the reporter mentioned something about the Black Mesa Research Facility.

Tommy didn’t expect the name to make him flinch, but it did.

“Hey,” Gordon said, reaching for the remote and ticking down the volume. “We’re in the news.”

Tommy averted his eyes from the screen in distaste. “I - Can we turn that off?” he began. “I don’t - I’m not…” he paused, resorted his words, and tried again. “Sorry. I don’t want to hear about it right now.”

“Really?” Gordon asked, but he complied, hitting the power button and killing the feed. “I thought maybe you’d want to know if there were any survivors.”

“There weren’t,” Tommy said flatly.

He wordlessly passed Gordon his breakfast plate before taking a seat beside him. The syrupy waffle he’d made for himself suddenly didn’t seem as appetizing as it did before, even as the pat of butter in the center melted and swirled hypnotically.

Gordon accepted his food, but didn’t pay attention to its contents as he fixed Tommy with a questioning gaze. “How do you know?”

He picked at the waffle with his fork, not meeting the other man’s stare. “Dad told me,” he muttered.

There was a long stretch of silence, in which Gordon worked through some thoughts, attempted to speak, and stopped to rework. The eggs and sausage he held remained untouched. Finally, he pulled in an unsteady breath and set the plate aside. “He told you how many people died,” he began, quietly, “but he didn’t… tell you anything about what was going on? So you could save them from dying?”

Tommy’s throat went suddenly tight. “I saved you,” was all he could say.

It was all that mattered to him. If he dwelled too long on all the people he failed to rescue in that week of nightmares, he’d wind up at the bottom of a pit he’d never crawl back out of.

“You did,” Gordon agreed. He was staring at Tommy very intently, dark eyes burning like smoke from a car fire. “You did, Tommy. And I’m - god, I’m so glad you did, but like…”

He slid off the bed suddenly, taking Tommy’s food without resistance and setting their plates side by side on the desk by the TV. Returning his attention to Tommy in earnest, he carefully took Tommy’s hands in his, boring into him with that dark burning stare while the other man kept his gaze down. Like this, with Tommy sitting on the hotel bed and Gordon standing before him, they were almost the same height.

Okay, they were doing this. They were having this talk.

“This hurt you, too,” Gordon said, and every word felt like a knife. “I don’t know what kind of fucked up game your dad was playing, but it hurt you, too. You should have had the option to leave.”

“I did,” Tommy admitted, barely audible. He studied the scarred fingers linked in his, unable to raise his eyes. “But you didn’t.”

Gordon’s grip tightened on Tommy’s hands as his words sunk in. His voice was edged with sorrow. “Tommy…”

“You didn’t have a choice and - and Bubby and Dr. Coomer didn’t and all the - every person who worked at Black Mesa didn’t get to just leave if they wanted to.” It wasn’t fair, didn’t make sense that Tommy of all people was saddled with the burden of choice and still decided to stay. An opportunity wasted on the likes of him. “I know it doesn’t make a lot of sense, but I had to stay. I couldn’t just… leave you like that. E-Even if I didn’t know you very well.”

He dared a look at Gordon. His jaw was tight, brow darkened, anger lining the corners of his mouth, but it wasn’t directed at him. Outrage on his behalf, though Tommy didn’t feel his poor decision making was worth the sheer, burning heat of Gordon’s emotions. Gordon’s jaw worked silently, at a loss for words, still clinging tight to his hands.

“I’m sorry,” Tommy went on quietly. “I’m sorry it had to be you.”

Gordon swallowed angrily as his words returned to him. “Why the fuck are you apologizing to me?” he asked. “None of this is your fault. Especially not all the fucked up shit you had to go through.”

“Chose to go through-”

“Bullshit,” Gordon interrupted. “You didn’t choose anything. You were expected to pick between leaving people behind to die or putting yourself through hell, Tommy. That’s not a choice,” he said. “For you? That was never a choice.”

His words fell steadily out of his mouth and into Tommy’s lap, where he could examine them in detail and find them to be true. He felt his chest constrict, and suddenly Gordon’s hands in his were the only thing tethering him as his resolve crumbled.

Tommy didn’t sob outright. He didn’t weep. He broke apart quietly, hiccupping out shuddering gasps while his fingers shook. He leaned forward and buried his face in Gordon’s shoulder, strangled repetitions of it’s not fair, it’s not fair murmured into his shirt.

Gordon let him lean on him, strong and without judgment, freeing one of his hands to cradle the back of his head. “I know,” he whispered. “I know. It’s not your fault.”

Tommy hadn’t realized he had been blaming himself to begin with until he heard those words spoken with such conviction in his ear. And it wasn’t that he had been asking Gordon to forgive him, because he wasn’t even sure what he was apologizing for, but a part of him was stuck back at Black Mesa all the same, begging to come home.

It’s not fair. It’s not fair and it’s not your fault.

This was the absolution of a sin that was never committed. Tommy cried silently, heartbroken in his blamelessness. Gordon ran his fingers through his hair, sniffling softly as he cried, too, and they mourned together on the edge of the bed while their breakfast went cold.

---

They stayed at the hotel in Las Cruces for another week, using it as their home base while they took care of the necessary chores that came with rejoining the living. Trips to the bank to replace Gordon’s debit card. A few hours at the public library to use the computer lab. Gordon checked the news while Tommy browsed a shelf of paperback thrillers, still not ready to revisit what happened.

They tried new restaurants. They visited parks. They rediscovered the world and all its joys, and Tommy thought that maybe surviving the Resonance Cascade wasn’t always going to be a burden on his shoulders. While hand in hand with Gordon, laughing with him while he pointed out ground squirrels and gave them funny names, maybe the weight of living was worth it.

Eventually, they signed a lease after visiting the many apartment complexes Gordon had scribbled down on his notepad list. A quiet little place called Monte Vista near Guadalupe County. Perhaps here they could build the home they had fought so hard for. Tommy’s hand trembled as he filled out the paperwork.

When it came time to check out from the hotel, the atmosphere was subdued, both absorbed in their thoughts about what the future held as they packed up their few belongings. They thanked this in between space for allowing them to become human again within its walls. As Tommy collected his things into a bag, his hand found the picture frame from earlier.

“Here’s - Don’t forget Joshua,” he reminded Gordon, proffering it in his direction.

Gordon laughed as he took it. “My beautiful son,” he said, “I could never. Does this look like a face you could forget?” His smile showed his even teeth as he held up the stock photo beside his face.

Tommy’s mouth quirked in a smile of his own. “I can see the family resemblance,” he said.

Lowering the frame, Gordon chuckled again. He fell silent as he studied the picture inside, his smile tinged with something that was almost wistful. His hair was tied back in a ponytail, showing off his round cheeks and those dimples he loved so much. Tommy watched him in contemplative silence.

“Y’know,” Gordon finally began. “When I bought this for my locker - like, not this one, but the first one? I didn’t… have anything to put in there. So I just sorta left the stock photo in and hoped that like - y'know, maybe one day I could find something worth framing.”

Tommy didn’t really know how to respond to this, so he remained silent, watching the studious wrinkle in between Gordon’s brows deepen. There was a hesitant wonder behind the lenses of his glasses.

“Guess I can’t say that anymore, huh?” He raised his gaze to meet eyes with Tommy. He didn’t look sad, just tired. Hopeful. “Do you still have those selfies we took on your phone?”

He nodded. Of course he did. He’d never delete the first photographic evidence he had of this newfound happiness, their faces smushed cheek to cheek to fit in the shot, alight with laughter. It made his insides go soft, to hear that Gordon was as fond of them as he was.

“Maybe we could get some prints of those,” Gordon said, stowing the frame in the grocery sack he carried with the rest of his few belongings. “If that’s okay with you?”

“Yeah,” Tommy said, fighting for control over his voice. He exhaled shakily, warm in the knowledge that Gordon wanted something permanent in its physicality, a reminder to look at every day. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

Piece by piece, they were going to build this new home together. Even with how painful the past was, how heavily the onus of survival rest on their shoulders. Tommy was looking forward to rediscovering joy again and again, with Gordon Freeman by his side.

He couldn’t wait to live.

#ink #fanfiction #part of my endeavor to relocate all my ao3 work #i think this is the last of it #thanks for bearing with me #hlvrai

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multiocblog · 4 years ago

Text

Greetings~! Welcome to my blog!

Just a little introduction, and some rules along with it~! ^^

Hello~! My name is Brianna but you may call me Bree~ I like to write stories, and create my own characters and such- It's what makes me happy~! And I love when I get to act like my OCs and interact with people! So, I created this blog~! (Sorry this post is quite long so be ready to read-)

To start out this blog, I have 7 OCs I will be making introductions for, so you can find out some about them, and interact with asks!

I have 2 OCs from Black Butler, 3 OCs from Diabolik Lovers, and 2 OCs from My Hero Academia! (I have many many more OCs soon to be added to this blog once I get consistent and completely settled in!)

Theres a brief intro to each at the bottom of the page!

((I write better than what I did there I swear-))

In the meantime, here are the

Rules:

No NSFW asks PLEASE! They make me very uncomfortable, and any asks I think might be dirty in any way, I will not answer.

Please make sure you put the OCs name in parenthesis or brackets so I am aware of which OC you are talking too! Ex." [To Arabella] I love your outfit! "

Please be kind! I will not accept hate comments or anything of the sort towards a subject, opinion, or an OC!

PLEASE "tag" or label accordingly to anything, slightly, definitely, or mildly triggering, even if you're not sure! I just want to make sure that everyone can scroll through my blog without having to be weary! Ex. [TW death]

Please do not flood the askbox or get mad that I don't answer right away! I can't always be online for I have a life to live outside of social media. This is purely for fun! ^^

Please no asks about r*ape, inc*st, pe*dophilia, or anything of the sort! Talk of those subjects will not be tolerated on this blog!

I am the admin to this account, therefore, I am allowed to reject or ignore ANY ask if need be.

((Rules will be updated, should the need arise.))

Bye for now~!

((OC info under read more!!))

Kyoko Komori (DL) ((OC based off the anime. Though I've heard plenty about the games, I have not yet played them, so if I get some things wrong I apologize in advance.))With Kyoko everything is the same. Yui has Cordelias heart and such and was supposed to be sent to the brothers. However, in this universe, Yui has an older sister, one year apart, whom has also been adopted, except she knows it. When she overhears something about her younger sister, her only sister, being sent away to vampires, she decides to take her place. To protect her.

Alyssa Freeman (MHA) ((I have not watched the entirety of MHA yet, and really I don't plan too anytime soon. So if I get anything wrong please correct me, and spoilers to the anime for me are welcomed. Let's just act like I've seen it all-)) Alyssa hates villains. And heros for that matter. All of them. When her apartment was destroyed from a casualty in a battle, Alyassa labeled heros as reckless and careless of the people around them. Herself and her little brother where heading back to the apartment, when she saw it crumbling down. Her parents and grandparents still inside, along with her best friend who was going to surprise Alyssa with a visit. Now she lives on the streets, doing whatever she can to provide for herself and her little brother.

Ongaku Yamada Aizawa (MHA) ((Again, haven't seen it, let's just pretend I have. Also this OC is in result of a ship. I don't really ship it, but I thought both their powers together would be cool so I thought, why not?)) When Ongaku was young, she was always bullied in 1st and 2nd grade for having two dads. One time, she got in trouble for heavily injuring a student with her voice quirk. You can insult her all you want, but not her dads. So, in 3rd grade, she kept a lie she created, that she only has one dad, Erasure Head Shota Aizawa, and that her mother died when she was born. Turns out the lie worked pretty well, people loved her and she was seen as an icon for having a prohero as a father. Shes was usually a quiet person, kept to herself, no friends, only spoke when spoken too. It was just her, her drawings and her music in her headphones. To this day, she keeps the lie, and keeps her distance, even at her new school, in U.A. (She also develops a major crush on Tenya Iida while there.👀)

Lilly and Lila Sakamaki (DL) ((Just thought I'd make one description for both bc they're twin sisters. This is also result of a ship. Ayato x Yui.)) Lilly and Lila are polar opposites despite their similar looks. Lila loves the cutesy, pink, flower stuff, and Lilly is all "tough" and "all that" (When shes really insecure-) Lilly is extremely protective over her sister, and possive too. She doesn't let any man even glance in her general direction. Basically if a man wants to ask Lila out, hes gonna have to go through some interrogation. Lila loves her sister deeply, and is basically like her sisters personal therapist. Lilly will only vent and show emotion around Lila. Lila tries to get her sister Lilly into pink, but with no prevail. Typically, you'll find Lilly hanging out with "Uncle Reiji", for she has a secret interest in his experiments and such. She'll also cuddle with Uncle Shu whenever she has time. And Lila loves hanging out with Uncle Kanato and Uncle Laito. She'll have tea partys with Kanato all the time. Lilly always tries to get Lila away from Laito. She says he's "demented" and "weird". But, Lila doesn't listen and hangs out with him anyway. Laito and Kanatos typical nickname for Lila is, Lilac or Little Flower. Both twins are vampires. Yui always teaches them about God and how to be selfless and kind, while Ayato plays sports with Lilly and cute video games (like Animal Crossing) with Lila.

Arabella Phantomhive (BB) ((This OC is placed in the future, and based off a ship, Ciel X Lizzy. Please be aware that, even though my OC speaks multiple languages, I do NOT. So, as bad as it sounds, I'll probably use Google Translate if I must use another language-😅 ) When Ciel and Lizzy are older and married, they have a little girl. Half human. Half demon. Arabella was taught how to be a lady, ballet, and sword fighting by her mother. And she was taught chess, ballroom dancing and more sword fighting by her father. Instead of going to a school, little Ara was homeschooled, by Sebastian, the Phantomhive Butler. He taught her multiple languages, such as Russian, Chinese, Japanese, Spanish, and her personal favorite, French. Time skip to the age of 10, she saw her mother murdered before her, and her father taken by some strange light beings. Having been raised by Sebastian since then, now she's 17, running the Funtom company, and determined to avenge her mother and find her father. :)

Robert Trancy (BB) ((This OC correlates with the Arabella OC, and is in the same storyline.)) Robert J. Trancy was his sweet Arabellas betrothed since birth. Even though it is set to be an arranged marriage, Robert always had a crush on his Arabella, and was awaiting the day to marry his beloved. Robert is a sensitive and kind boy, but sarcastic and joking all the same having been raised by Alois Trancy. He has no idea of whom his mother is, and was always told she died when he was born. At the age of 6, it was at a party when he saw his father dead on the floor of the long corridor. He didn't exactly see his fathers death, but he heard it, and knew exactly who did it. Ciel Phantomhive. He was determined to make his revenge. Having made a contract with Claude, his fathers old butler, he now lives alone in the manor, sending all the old servants away, except Claude. He makes frequent visits to his sweet Blue Rose however. He's a very insecure boy, full of anger, bitterness, jealousy, and sadness, but hides it well behind humor and love for his bride-to-be.

That was very long- and for that I apologize-

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espejonight28738 · 5 years ago

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15×10 meta "I don't know what is god and what's not..."

But maybe now we do. Kind of, anyway.

Warning: Destiel and Saileen positive. And somehow this ended up with a lot of Charlie, not that I think anyone will complain about that.

I've been thinking about this since Thursday. Like, one one hand, Dean's "The blood, the sweat, the tears, man. That's us." Was beautiful, specially if we take into account that a few episodes ago he still was all "I don't know what is God and what's not, and it's driving me crazy."

So I rewatched the entire season (that's why only now I have this) and now I will say what is God and what's not.

(I mean, kind of, I think we will never know the true extent of Chuck's manipulation to avoid even more plot holes XD)

So, first:

Mayor plots we know (or I think) were Chuck's:

The first Apocalypse (Duh)

• Leviathans (I say this bc in one of Chuck's memories, Benny was in the bunker with Dean. Benny means Purgatory, and Purgatory means Leviathans. If the Leviathan are a constant, they probably are part of Chuck's plan.)

• The Mark of Cain (We've seen it like a million times, clearly that's a plot he likes)

• Probably the MoL because it was so bad

The ones we don't know:

• Amara (Like, I do think he didn't expect they would break the curse)

• Jack (I mean, he probably was the culprit Jack died after Micheal took his grace, and that's the reason he ended up soulless. But his actual birth? Idk)

• (Btw I say Chuck's the culprit because I don't understand why Cas would just become human when Metatron took his grace in s8, specially considering que was 100% angel, and he didn't even had a “soulless” problem... I don't know what happened there tbh, he should be kinda soulless? Or whatever. My point is that if an angel 100% can survive having his grace taken, I don't see why a Nephilim (50/50%) would die.)

• Probably AU!Micheal was not part of the plan, because he straight up told them they were just failed drafts. Besides, it was a direct consequence of Jack's birth, and I don't think Jack was part of the plan.

I was about to publish this, but now I have another one. How much of what happens in Heaven is Chuck? Like, we know he doesn't really care for the angels (Ask AU!Micheal), and the main characters are just Dean and Sam. But in this universe, because of Cas, both brothers have been closely related to whatever happens in Heaven. Does that mean Chuck has to intervene there so they don't ruin the story? Probably yes. Honestly I'm dying to know what happened in Heaven with Cas during 15×10 I NEED ANSWERS ABOUT THE ANGELS.

Things that Chuck can't do:

• Like, make someone do anything they don't want in a "mind control" kind of way. He can physically do people do things, like Eileen hurting Sam, but he can't control their mind. If he could, Dean would have killed Jack and nothing of this would be happening in the first place. Individual choices and actions are out of his control.

• He doesn't have power over the Empty, and doesn't know what's happening there. (That means there's no true omniciense)

• (The last point raises the question of how did he brought Cas back so many times. Or Lilith. I'll chose to believe those are continuity mistakes and not that, idk, this Cas is an exact copy of the original Cas and even him doesn't know he's a copy or smth.)

Things that we can deduce are, to certain degree, Chuck's fault.

• Cas constant unjustified absences (This we can assume for 1: "No one even mentions Cas" from Becky about Chuck's writing, and 2: In all the AU we saw as Chuck memories, Cas is never there. Not even mentioned.)

• [Related to the previous point, I think that considering that Cas was in none of Chuck's memories, we must take the fact that he was in almost all the PossibleFuture!scenes (first he was there, then in the car he is mentioned by Sam and Dean, the we had the "Ever since the Mark made Cas go crazy? Ever since I had to bury him in a Ma'lak box?" moment, the next one we can see Dean moving his mouth before getting interrupted by Sam. Considering it was placed next to the prayer scene, we can deduce Dean was praying to Cas. That give us Cas in 4/6 Future moments.) as a sign that this Cas is different to the one in other universes. Maybe our theory that our Cas will be the key to Free Will, as he is special in some way in this universe in a way he isn't in others, will come true.]

• [Although then we need to ask why did Chuck let him live, if he interferes with the narrative]

• Soulless!Jack and Mary's death [Explained before]

• Actually, is possible that most deaths are Chuck's plot.

But in the more particular events, where is Chuck?

In this episode, we got confirmation that the popular headcanon of Charlie making the boys fake credit cards is canon. This ability to have money all the time is important for them not to waste time doing things that 'doesn't help move the plot along' as Garth said.

That could mean that one of the intentions behind Charlie's introduction was exactly that, solve a problem.

And if you think more, Charlie was introduced in a perfect moment and being the perfect character for the job.

Like, we met her when Cas was still crazy, and Dean hadn't really forgiven him, so he kinda was out of a best friend. Enters Charlie, a badass, geeky, nerdy and really cheerful girl. Literally, perfect bff material for Dean. And to make it even better, she was a lesbian, so that automatically cancels any possible sexual/romantic tension that Dean compulsively had with pretty much any female character back then.

[And if I'm right about Chuck not planning Amara's freedom, then Charlie's individual acts of 1: Getting the Book of the Damned and 2: Decodifying it were probably the reason Chuck decided it was her time. Besides, her death pushed Dean to the edge with the Mark.]

All that convenience makes me believe that the people they know do are part of a pre-made plot, but only the meeting. They are only put on the Winchester's way. If we can take something from last episode is that even without their abilities and plot armor, they still have their friends. The relationships they've built are their strength, they are something almost sacred that Chuck can't touch. (As I said, he can't control minds, nor can he control feelings.)

Would you look at that, it looks like Castiel "And maybe Chuck designed the obstacles, but we ran our own race. We made our own move" Winchester (My soul won't rest until someone recognize Cas in the show as a Winchester) was right all along. Shocked.

So, once again, we have everything telling us the most important thing the brothers have is the other people that they love. That is theirs, that is real.

And I also think is important they got that lesson without Eileen and Cas. Because those are the people they love the most (besides each other), yes, but they also are the ones that Chuck have used against them.

Dean's history with Cas has been part of the story, so it was logical that in the middle of his existential crisis, he doubted of their relationship.

And now Sam has confirmation that it's thanks to Chuck that Eileen is back.

Both relationships could feel a little tainted.

With them, it would be more difficult to put aside their doubts. But with good old Garth? He wasn't even in the Possible Future. He's as much as a comfort character as you can get for Dean and Sam. Looking at him all happy and domestic, and yet being by their side when they can't do anything be themselves is exactly what they needed to move their friends and family to the "Non-Chuck tricks" list.

And a little note:

I don't think they just lost their "plot armor", I think Chuck purposely made them average humans. But without Chuck, they wouldn't be average. Dean's been trained to be a soldier since he was 4 years, and maybe Sam had a little bit more of a childhood thanks to Dean, but still he was trained since he was a kid.

And you tell me they can't pick a lock without Chuck's powers? That Sam just runs against everything and falls? Those are things any of us would do, not someone who has been training 30 years more or less.

So no, I do not think they would (will?) be like this when they beat Chuck. Yes, maybe they will be intolerant to lactose, and have cavities and that stuff, but they are still trained, that doesn't just go away.

[BTW I realize half this meta was in parenthesis. Sorry about that.]

Tagging: @metafest @verobatto-angelxhunter @agusvedder @legendary-destiel @that-one-fandom-chick @studio-hatter

#supernatural meta #supernatural #spn s15 #spn 15×10 #chuck meta #dean winchester meta #sam winchester meta #castiel meta #charlie bradbury meta

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rouge-the-bat · 4 years ago

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OOPS I HAD STARTED THIS THEN SAVED AS A DRAFT TO FINISH LATER BUT THEN FORGOT SO ITS. BEEN A BIT SINCE I WAS ACTUALLY TAGGED FOR THIS LMAO

ANYWAYS i was tagged by @skayforrest :'33

Rules: Please make your own text post when answering these to avoid long posts. Highlight/bold what applies to you!

for me to make it easier for me to read im going for:

bold: definitely me :3

italics: kinda me!

strikethrough: not me at All

(subscript parenthesis): my comments! (bc im very rambly lol)

also changing // between different phrases to ♡♡ to make it easier for me to distinguish between phrases too owo

♡ Appearance ♡

I am over 5’5 ♡♡ I wear glasses/contacts ♡♡ I have blonde hair ♡♡ I prefer loose clothing over tight clothing ♡♡ I have one or more piercings (my ears!) ♡♡ I have at least one tattoo (i want to get one of a drawing ive made soon tho!) ♡♡ I have blue eyes ♡♡ I have dyed or highlighted my hair (its p much back to normal now tho- and i want to dye it pink someday) ♡♡ I have gotten plastic surgery ♡♡ I have or had braces ♡♡ I sunburn easily ♡♡ I have freckles ♡♡ I paint my nails (not super often but i have fun doing it occasionally owo!) ♡♡ I typically wear makeup (i rarely do and usually its just lispstick, with maybe eyshadow and/or eyeliner) ♡♡ I don’t often smile (i can be really smiley sometimes but i dont interact with others much (esp irl) so i tend to not emote a whole lot) ♡♡ I am pleased with how I look (im cute round n chubby!!) ♡♡ I prefer nike to adidas (i literally dont care) ♡♡ I wear baseball caps backwards

♡ Hobbies & Interests ♡

I play a sport (i play... wii sports and real life bowling sometimes at most :'3) ♡♡ I can play an instrument (its been a really long time but i learned clarinet from school band) ♡♡ I am artistic ♡♡ I know more than one language (id like to learn some tho, like japanese, french, and/or korean maybe?) ♡♡ I have won a trophy in some sort of competition (never a Literal trophy :O) ♡♡ I can cook or bake without a recipe ♡♡ I know how to swim ♡♡ I enjoy writing (i like to but school has made me anxious anytime i try now ;w;) ♡♡ I can do origami ♡♡ I prefer movies to tv shows ♡♡ I can execute a perfect somersault ♡♡ I enjoy singing (exclusively for singing along, i dont really ever sing on my own lol) ♡♡ I could survive in the wild on my own ♡♡ I have read a new book series this year ♡♡ I enjoy spending time with my friends (who wouldnt!! esp with my friends, theyre amazing :'3) ♡♡ I travel during school or work breaks (id like to travel more..) ♡♡ I can do a handstand

♡ Relationships ♡

I am in a relationship (my girlfriend is so wonderful 🥰) ♡♡ I have been single for over a year (been dating my gf for almost 2 full years now!) ♡♡ I have a crush (fictional crushes count right? bc i have a million of those lol) ♡♡ I have a best friend I have known for ten years ♡♡ My parents are together ♡♡ I have hooked up with my best friend (thats meaning sexual right? bc im sex repulsed and so is my gf whos my best friend so, absolutely not lol) ♡♡ I am adopted ♡♡ My crush has confessed to me (im p much always the first to confess lol) ♡♡ I have had a long-distance relationship (hopefully someday tho it wont be long distance :'3) ♡♡ I am an only child (dear god no i have. 1 full brother, 3 half brothers, 1 half sister, and 2 or 3 step brothers gjkxjfk) ♡♡ I give advice to my friends (im not the best with advice but i try when i can!!) ♡♡ I have made an online friend (all of my current friends are online!) ♡♡ I met up with someone I have met online (GOD I WISH)

♡ Aesthetics ♡

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell ♡♡ I have watched the sunrise (many times, after being awake all night bc im p mych nocturnal lol) ♡♡ I enjoy rainy days (god i love rain so much) ♡♡ I have slept under the stars (iirc im p sure ive slept in a tent for going camping before ??? but my memory sucks so im not sure if that happened or i just always wanted to gjkdjg) ♡♡ I meditate outside (maybe i should try that sometime..) ♡♡ The sound of chirping calms me ♡♡ I enjoy the smell of the beach (ive been to a beach just a couple times.. i dont remember what it smelled like) ♡♡ I know what snow tastes like (i eat snow EVERY time it snows here, esp to make snow cream) ♡♡ I listen to music to fall asleep (on occasion! always instrumental stuff, sometimes meant for relaxing or sometimes just a comfort song from a game i love) ♡♡ I enjoy thunderstorms ♡♡ I enjoy cloud watching ♡♡ I have attended a bonfire ♡♡ I pay close attention to colors (ofc ! i love colors and graphic design is my passion- but like Actually, im not quoting the meme lol) ♡♡ I find mystery in the ocean ♡♡ I enjoy hiking on nature paths (would REALLY need to be in the mood for it) ♡♡ Autumn is my favourite season (close ! i love the chilly air and aesthetic of autumn as well, but winter is my ultimate comfort season <3)

♡ Miscellaneous ♡

I can fall asleep in moving vehicles ♡♡ I am the mom friend (mom friend mode can activate on Occasion, but usually im silly bastard friend) ♡♡ I am involved in extracurricular activities (im not in school) ♡♡ I enjoy mexican food ♡♡ I can drive a stick-shift (i still havent learned how to drive yet owo;;) ♡♡ I believe in true love (probably not in a typical sense?) ♡♡ I make up scenarios to fall asleep (oh no, i make up scenarios constantly in my head throughout the day, i get way too invested in them so they usually keep me up if i think about them when trying to sleep) ♡♡ I sing in the shower ♡♡ I wish I lived in a superhero movie (i def wanna live in some fictional worlds, but superhero movies arent things im usually into) ♡♡ I have a canopy above my bed ♡♡ I am multiracial (im not super familiar with my ancestry rn, so idk. would like to know sometime tho) ♡♡ I am a redhead ♡♡ I own at least 3 dogs/cats (rn i have 2 dogs and 3 cats!)

and uhhh ill tag @spiiderbiites @miphelda @kipokin @queerplyke @ameila if yall wanna do it :3? (if yalld like i can go thru n supply a version of this without all of my font edits and comments!) AH WHOOPS I GOT A URL MESSED UP BUT XENOLEAF U CAN DO TOO IF U WANT

#starry asks #uh not exactly an ask but ill use that tag for tag games like this #ive been tagged in a few of these kinda posts so im trying to catch up rn !!

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lookbluesoup · 5 years ago

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Wyn’s Fic Soup Masterlist

yeah im creative with titles!! here is a (roughly) chronological collection of all my posted fics! word counts & nsfw warnings in parenthesis. If there’s a tumblr version, these will link to them, otherwise they’ll take you to ao3! Ao3 links are also listed at the bottom of the individual tumblr posts so you can read all of these over there too! c: Or if you want, just (go straight to my ao3)

Particular favorites of mine get little hearts (💜), but hey, I wrote all these!! I’m proud!!! You should check them out c:

As always, for all my fics, likes/reblogs/kudos/comments are very welcome and appreciated, but not required!

Blue Soup

Nate Ronan survives the nuclear apocalypse, hides from grief, tries to save the world, and falls in love with a plucky reporter.

War Never Changes - Nate loses everything he cares about (943)

Red Bluebird - Nate goes toe to toe with a deathclaw, Piper struggles to save her friend, and a stranger comes to the rescue (6589)

💜 The Heavens Do Not Fall For Such A Trifle - After the memory den forces Nate to relive his wife’s murder, he retreats from his friends. Piper wants to help, but there’s a steep learning curve (9658)

I Remained to Dream - Nate receives an obscure prophecy from Mama Murphy (998)

💜 Half-Shaped Resolve - Nate is giving up, and tries to keep a dangerous secret (973)

💜 Manner and Matter - Natalie Wright finds an unexpected confidant in her sister’s crush (1862)

Stitches - Nate treats Piper’s wounds, and she considers how much his friendship means to her (1778)

💜 Comforting Kiss - Pining is poor company for Piper, who can’t save Nate from the monsters of his own mind (748)

Loving Kiss - Nate and Piper say those big words to one another (1238)

Lusty Kiss - Piper plays a subtle game, teasing Nate’s hunger (578)

Lazy Kiss - Nate pampers Piper with a warm bath after a long trip (1074)

Distracting Kiss - Nate encourages Piper to relax (1,428 | NSFW)

Desperate Kiss - The Silver Shroud intrudes on Diamond City (471)

These Remain - Nate reflects on the reasons he believes in good things (352)

“Jealous” Kiss - Nate finds Piper in the arms of his best friend!! (759)

Nightmare - Piper learns more about Nate’s frequent terrors (946)

Isolation - Panic sends Nate running into a whiteout, but he realizes comfort is behind him (888)

💜 You Don’t Have To Be Afraid - Piper comforts Nate during a difficult night (1749)

💜 Snow Day - Snow comes to Boston, and Nate takes Piper on an all-day winter date to enjoy the weather! Fluff and shenanigans ensue (1983)

Shut Up - Nate fears blindness may make him a burden, Piper disagrees (691)

💜 Dreams Still Remembered - Piper learns infertility is actually a relative term, and has some nerve-wracking news for Nate (4024)

Deacon’s Firefly

Nora Ronan survives the nuclear apocalypse, sets a lot of things of fire (and I do mean a lot of things) and might possibly maybe perhaps fall in love with a pair of sunglasses.

Spiteful Kiss - Angry at Nate for ‘abandoning’ her, Nora seeks distraction (1488 | NSFW)

Because Time’s Run Out - Liars make confessions to one another at the end of the line (801)

Prequels

Nate and Nora faced an uncertain future, but they had each other. Prequel stories that apply to both Nate and Nora’s universes, before the bombs fell!

💜 Proud Kiss - Nora and Nate meet their son for the first time (973)

Archives

Outlines, scrapped fics, cut content, etc

💜 Pipan’s Fallout Summary- The events surrounding a bitter breakup between Nate and Piper (1692)

Fallout in Fallout HAH - An early draft of Nate and Piper’s falling out over his Institute loyalties (1267)

Waves - Experimental piece - getting a feel for how Nate’s paranoia wars with his common sense (513)

💜 Pipan’s Pregnancy Summary - The events surrounding Nate and Piper’s chance to start a family (756)

You can also check out the Nate Trivia and Nora Trivia tags for fun facts!

#wyn's fic soup #fanfic #my fanfic #masterlist #pipan #Deacon's Firefly #Blue Soup #I can't believe I have enough posted to even justify a masterlist #i know i thank you guys to death but seriously #thank you for the support #originally i didn't plan to share my fanfics online #here i am being social and not a complete hermit #it's wild

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seriouslyobsessed · 5 years ago

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Fanfiction Recommendations

Bellarke

•Fight Fire With, uh, Coffee? By Anonymous

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18274178#main

Blake's Brews, 4.7/5 stars, 59 reviews.

04/12 Anonymous: The coffee here is really good!!! My barista spontaneously lit on fire after I paid but the coffee more than made up for it. 4.5 out of 5 would come again.

04/23 Roma F: The owner seems like a grump but he's actually really kind and has an excellent memory for supernatural dietary restrictions. I'm part fae and he always makes my brew with iron-free implements. Plus all the baristas are cute just sayin' ;)

05/17 Anonymous: I don't even like coffee but I come by regularly because I think two of the baristas are falling in love and I shit you not it's the cutest thing ever

06/08 John M: good pastries. my gf dragged me here to look at the flirting baristas. Mr Blake if you're reading this pls make a move, I have money on you realizing you're in love by the end of the month.

Would you like to write a review for Blake's Brews?

•Parents in parenthesis By Ideasofmarch

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18449690?view_adult=true#main

In which Bellamy and Clarke skip the animosity faze and start straight at co-leaders - and parents, somehow - and things turn out a lot better for almost everyone involved.

The ark's coming down and the council wants to combine camps. The price? Bellamy's head on a stake.

And that's one price Clarke just isn't willing to pay.

•Semper Idem...? By Pookles

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16572836/chapters/38834048#main

A Season 6 speculative fic for The 100. Takes place in a brand-new world after most of Wonkru has landed on the ground. PLEASE REVIEW THE TAGS BEFORE READING

•Lost By nadiaselite

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18594817#main

Clarke goes missing and no one seems to care. No one except for Bellamy.

•I Cannot Say That I Was Ready For This By Chash

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18662563#main

When Bellamy gets his soulmark, he doesn't think much of it. He doesn't know his soulmate, and he has no idea when he'll meet them, but he's not in a rush. They're his soulmate, right? He'll find them sooner or later.

A year and a half later, his sister calls him up because Clarke Griffin posted her soulmark on instagram, and it's a match for his.

He's got a soulmate, and she's famous.

•One Of Those Moments By Mamabear_writing

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17420096/chapters/41007071

Everyone gets a soulmark on their 20th birthday.

But what happens when your soulmate is your best friend and they’ve been in love with someone else for 3 years?

•as moonlight through the pines By twilightstargazer

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19812373

The tattoos are Bellamy’s idea.

Clarke has left her kit of ink and needles on their makeshift dining table, next to her paintings that she was letting dry. Harper came in earlier asking for a touch-up and she forgot to put them away.

Now, Bellamy’s eyes land on it and he tugs her towards it saying, “I want another tattoo.”

In the end she draws a minimalistic version of a sunset-- or sunrise, depending on how you look at it-- over the ocean, just a few straight lines for the sea and a semicircle for the sun. It’s very simple, with thick dark lines that stand out nicely from the skin.

“It could probably pass as a clan tattoo,” she says, studying it while she cleans it up. “Maybe we should give it to all our people.”

“I could give it to you,” he says, already reaching for the ink, and Clarke is sufficiently drunk enough that nothing about that sentence sets off any alarm bells in her head. “You’re my people. You need one too.

She grins and reveals her forearm to him too, already taking a swig from the bottle in preparation. “Okay.”

or, 3 times the grounders thought they were married and one time they actually were

•Karma By Takan_Morfin_Riddle_Lestrange

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19387156#main

When the Ark - or what bits of it are left - come crashing down to earth, he smiles. Karma, he thinks.

•much too full of resentment By safeandsound13

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19395238

Echo sees Bellamy and Clarke together near the temporal anomaly and assumes she's hallucinating her worst fear. Instead, it's reality.

•pass my days by the sound of your name By startledstoat111

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20028481#main

She tightens her grip around him, and his lips find their way into her hair and stay there.

“You’re late, by the way.” She says, muffled against his skin.

He lets out a dry laugh. “Sorry. Traffic was hell.”

~~~

AU where its spacekru that come down, not the eligius ship, and there are some words have gone unspoken for far too long.

#the 100 #bellarke #fanfiction recommendations #bellamy x clarke #fanfiction #fanfic

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deanssweetheart23 · 6 years ago

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Something Borrowed - Chapter IX

Title: Something Borrowed: September 2015 (Chapter IX)

Chapter Overview: The day of the wedding arrives. Dean has to make a decision.

Author: deanssweetheart23

Characters: Dean Winchester x reader, Frank Weber, Sam Winchester (only mentioned)

Word count: 1389

Warnings: Some language, angst and Stuck Up Asshole Frank™ ( @dancing-the-hellfire-rumba came up with that name and I must admit I kinda love it).

Author’s Notes: This was beta’d by @trexrambling. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without her. Thank you, my sunflower <3

Thank you, guys, for all of your love. When this series is over, I’ll make a detailed post for all of you. <3

Catch up here. Enjoy <3

Saturday, 26 September, 2015

New York City, New York

Dean knows he shouldn’t be here.

He knows it deep into his soul, knows no good can possibly come out of this, that he’s practically pouring salt over jagged scars, but he still feels like this is something he needs to do, the least he can do for her before he lets her go one last time.

He needs to make sure that no one will ever hurt her the way he did.

He needs to make sure that when his brother told him she sounded troubled over the phone the night they talked about the wedding that he was only lying to make him feel better.

He needs to make sure she’s better off without him.

Taking a deep breath, Dean locks his car, adjusts his tie and slips into the church quietly.

The venue is already crowded, filled with all the people the couple has invited, and, as Dean looks for that small room in the back of the building, he thinks he sees Charlie and his brother with Eileen looking for their seats. Somehow, he feels grateful that they can be there for Y/N in ways he no longer can.

Navigating his way through the church, he takes in the decoration; beautiful, though a bit pompous for his taste, with the couple’s vows hand-calligraphed onto the aisle runner, antique bird cages for the guests’ cards and vintage lanterns surrounded by roses and peonies in every corner.

Dean’s almost impressed until he remembers how much Y/N hates peonies.

His heart sinks a little in his chest.

He finds the room he’s been looking for shortly after that, waits a few seconds before grasping the handle and rapping his hands down on the wood.

“Come on in,” comes the gruff response.

And, so, Dean opens the door and steps inside to find the blue-eyed man he’s been looking for standing right in front of him, dressed in an impeccable black suit and the most expensive pair of lace-ups he’s ever seen, a bow-tie half wrapped around the collar of his shirt.

“Frank,” he nods.

He’s surprised to see him.

Dean can tell that much from the way his eyes widen and his jaw clenches at the sight of him, from the way the stone-cold demeanor cracks for just a second and lets Dean see through him, see a man who’s almost afraid of him.

“Dean,” Frank manages after a while, lips stretched into a venomous smile. “Now this is a surprise, man. Y/N said you wouldn’t be coming,” he adds, and there’s something so arrogant, so possessive in the way he calls her name, that Dean feels sick.

“She doesn’t know I’m here.”

“Ah,” he laughs a little under his breath, but the sound’s made of plastic, “I take it you’re not staying then.”

The muscles in Dean’s jaw twitch. “No, not really.”

Frank clasps his hands together, contemplating his next words, then pours himself a glass of whiskey. “Too bad. She’d be really happy to see you.” He sips some of his drink. “She’s missed you, you know.”

The words are meant to slice through his skin and they do so, tremendously well, leaving a trail of bleeding bruises behind them.

He hates this, hates how Frank knows more things about her now, how he knows her better than he does, almost as much as he hates the fact that what they had, all those years of friendship, will slowly become a parenthesis in the narrative of her life and his name will fade into darkness, as someone she used to know, but means nothing to her anymore.

It takes him a moment to speak. “I’m not here for some Dr. Phil hour, Frank.”

“Fair enough. You did come a long way though, so I’m guessing there must some reason you’re here.”

A pause.

Brow knitted into a frown.

“Do you love her?”

“Are you seriously asking me that?”

“Do you love her?”

“What do you think?” Frank asks, eyes a bit softer now. “She’s perfect, man.”

Y/N’s not perfect, of course.

She can be stubborn enough to drive Dean up the damn wall, witty and sarcastic in all the wrong moments, impulsive, reckless. But she’s the kindest, most loving person he knows, the kind of girl that lights up a room just by being in it, the kind of girl you hold on to.

Still, Dean chooses not to say that to Frank, chooses to keep that small part of her for himself.

“Is she happy?”

“You came all this way to know if I can make my fiancée happy?” Frank laughs, a dead sort of laugh, takes a few steps towards him. “Yeah, she’s happy, Dean. Happier than you’d ever be able to make her.” He runs a hand over his mouth. “You know… You hate me so much for stealing Y/N away from you, but really… You handed her over to me.” A small, brash shrug as he pats Dean on the shoulder. “Should have done something about it while you still had the chance.”

Hot white range bursts through Dean at that and, before Frank even knows what’s happening, he’s wrapping his fingers around his wrist, pushes him against the wall.

“Y/N’s not some kind of prize, you dick-bag.”

“God,” Frank sneers, eyes flooded with pity, “you’re so in love with her, it’s pathetic.”

“It is, isn’t it?” Dean bites out, leaning down to get in his face. “You know what’s the weirdest thing about being pathetically in love with someone, Frank?” he asks, fingers gripping the front of Frank’s suit jacket. “You’d do anything to protect them. So, you better treat Y/N the way she deserves, or, so help me God-”

“Are you threatening me, Winchester?”

“Damn right I am. You hurt her-” he stabs a finger at him– “and I’ll rip you to fucking shreds.” He juts his chin. “Are we clear?”

Darkness coats Frank’s features and, for a second, Dean believes he’s about to punch him, yet he only nods, numb, but hard.

Dean pulls away. “Better get going then.” He rolls up his sleeves, smirks with a satisfaction he doesn’t feel. “It was nice talking to you, man.”

And then he’s gone, walking down the corridors quickly until he reaches the hall where the wedding’s supposed to take place and finds a shady seat in the back row. And he knows, again, that doing this to himself, staying there while she marries someone else, is probably the worst idea he’s ever had, but he needs to see her, needs to convince himself that it’s finally over.

She walks down the aisle almost twenty minutes later, the brightest thing he’s ever seen, a dream dressed in white. She wears her hair down in waves, holds a bouquet of red roses that seem striking against the lace ballgown, and Dean allows himself to imagine that it’s him she’s walking towards, that all that happiness, all the joy scattered around him isn’t poison to his heart.

He opens his eyes, sees the way she’s looking at Frank.

She’s smiling, that smile of hers that could cut him in two, but there’s something else there, something he can’t quite put his finger on.

He tells himself he’s imagining it, because she never answered that voicemail, never tried to contact him.

He tells himself he’s imagining it, because if he’s not, he’ll probably go insane.

His eyes drift to Frank.

The blue-eyed man that had been so spiteful, so full of hatred only a few minutes ago, seems soft now, almost sweet, as he looks at her like she’s everything he’s been waiting for, and Dean knows.

He loves her.

They both do.

He waits until the vows begin, each word of eternal devotion that comes out of her mouth a punch in his gut. Then, he gets out of his chair, smooths his shirt and drives back to Ithaca, back to Charlie’s apartment. He climbs up to the rooftop where they first met, the first time he’s been there in over a year.

The flowers he’d planted with Charlie are withered now, the petals broken, and he rips them all off, one by one, until there’s nothing left but tender soil, nothing left but dirt.

He never, once, looks back as he walks away.

A/N: Next chapter coming on 9/15 :) Remember, I love you <3

Forever Tags: @jpadjackles @supernatural-jackles @trexrambling @percywinchester27 @atwistoffate @there-must-be-a-lock @torn-and-frayed @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @dancing-the-hellfire-rumba @atc74 @dancingalone21 @kathaswings @dreamingdean @jayankles @winchesters-flannels @winchestersnco @caeruli @princess-shurii @tiny-friggin-human @polina-93 @mandilion76 @juanitadiann @pickupthatamulet @yourvoiceislikearose @becominglionhearted @ravengirl94 @ravenangel33 @holahellohialoha @starry-chaos @masksandtruths @lipstickandwhiskey @hannahindie @sunlightdances @wordstothewisereaders @ruprecht0420 @sgarrett49 @escabell @becs-bunker @imagining-supernatural @iwriteaboutdean @mogaruke @imissyoualittlemoreeveryday @spngeronimo @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @wellthatsrandomkek @persephone-divine @akshi8278 @keepcalmandcarryondean @superflurry @superapplepie @sinistersaltqueen @carryonmyswansong @carryonmywaywardcaptain @emoryhemsworth @bebravekeeponfighting @sebastianshoe @jessilliam-caronday @kleinkariertebetrachter @stellaa33 @samisimportant-blog @shutupiminlooove @no-shit-sherl0ck @caitthejourno @annoyingpeople-postingthings @wh1sp3r1ng-impala @mrswhozeewhatsis @may-darling @novaddictx @rlawson418 @itssmallerontheoutside-13

Something Borrowed Tags: @girliciousdreams @ellen-reincarnated1967 @superwholock-fangir1 @my-proof-is-you @ms-baekhyun @satanwithapencil @hayleighr4 @keepcalmandbeajunkie @pjofangirl18 @yoursmilemakesmeloveyou @maralisa124

#dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fanfiction #au!dean x reader #au!dean winchester x reader #dean winchester angst #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester x reader spn #supernatural imagines #supernatural fanfiction #dean x you fluff #dean x you #you x dean

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amwritingmeta · 6 years ago

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Thank you @misskittyspuffy for the tag! :P

Rules: Answer 30 questions. Tag 10 blogs you want to get to know better whoever you want, if you want

Nickname(s): Nicholas Sparks, Nicholas Cage, Saint Nicholas (my personal favourite) (especially the Coca Cola version) (holidays are coming)

Gender: Meow

Sign: Hmh. Tricky. I think a U-turn. They seem helpful. You know? Oh, realised you were going the wrong way, did you? Well, here I am to tell you it’s okay to go back and start over. Always room for second chances!

Height: Chrysler Building has such a nice ring to it.

Time: Lord

Fave band(s): I’m partial to the Bandwidth. I feel it’s done a lot of good for humankind.

Fave solo artist(s): Did Michelangelo work solo? I mean, strictly speaking. He did have those disciples, right? Or was that Jesus? Or both? Hmh. Is any artist actually ever solo? Like don’t they have people doing stuff and writing stuff? Maybe Harry Styles? I don’t know his work by heart, but somehow he almost combines Michelangelo and Jesus? Doesn’t he sometimes feel like a visionary come to save us all from ourselves? No? (yeah I think so)

Song stuck in my head: Do You Hear the People Sing from Les Mis

Last movie I saw: Milk.

Last show I watched: The Let Down, which is a Netflix original exploring the pitfalls and realities of motherhood. Very funny. Very white. (then I started rewatching Schitt’s Creek for the fourth time…)

When did I create my blog: About a year and a half ago. (…or did I) (no I did)

What do I post: Letters. Well, packages and parcels, too, I suppose, though very rarely for me personally.

Last thing I googled: https://www.stchris.org.uk

Do I have any other blogs: Currently under construction.

Do I get asks: Yes.

Why did I choose my url: I like being on the absolute nose (obvs) but my initials are actually AMW, so my url starts with my initials and then also pretty much states the main reason I started the blog. So there’d be no confusion. You know?

Following: Reluctantly, but when inspired, yes, happily.

Followed by: …My shadow? Well, depending on the sun because sometimes your shadow is in front of you. Maybe I should put that on “following” as well… Hmh.

Average hours of sleep: 7-8

Lucky number: Slevin

Instruments: I sadly own no instruments. Not even a harmonica.

What I am wearing: Clothes. I wish I could wear leaves or reused materials only or weave garments out of hair sometimes (because I shed) but sorry, environment - a skill I’ve yet to acquire.

Dream job: Unicorn breeder. Of course.

Dream trip: Acid. Always acid.

Fave food: I don’t discriminate.

Nationality: Swede. (not the vegetable)

Fave song: I don’t discriminate.

Last book I read: (still reading) The End of Power by Moisés Naím

Top 3 fictional universes I wanna join: Supernatural. But only if I could be a hunter of the Mary BAMF variety and sit the brothers down and tell them that maybe it’s time to work proactively… Schitt’s Creek. Okay, this isn’t really a universe, it’s more of a “world”, I guess, but I wanna live in that little town so bad. I wanna shop soap at Rose Apothecary and read exactly what’s listed on those humongous menus at Café Tropical! It’d be like a holiday. Disney. I mean, consider that being part of the Disney universe means access to all the classic Disney fairytales, Pixar, Star Wars, Pirates of the Caribbean and the entire Marvel universe… Damn. That is actually quite insane when it comes to pop cultural influence. (can they please keep up with the times and give us more representation from all walks of life?) (okay I made it parenthesis political) (because had to!)

#tag along #anyone can join #open invitation #hey how you doin?#for queue

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swedenswfe · 7 years ago

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Pixiv permission guide

@aph-dead-nation Hey, thank you for sending an ask! Excuse my lateness, I had some busy days and wanted to do a whole guide. hah. Full post below.

First of all, I'd like to point out that I am no native japanese speaker or have the knowledge needed of that language to manage to translate a sentence or read without help of an online translator. There are some steps I follow before sending the artist an ask which I consider to be important through the whole process.

1. Does the artwork you want to repost has been posted on Tumblr before?

- If yes, then stop right here and just reblog from who posted it previously. - If no, go to step two. - If clueless, try to search it by typing the chara/pairing name on the search bar and see the lastest posts about it/them if the art was recently posted. If it's older than one or two months, try searching the art's or artist's ID (which can be found at the end of the link respectively) or go straight to blogs of people who often repost stuff and try to search it there using the same method.

2. Now you're on pixiv and found what you want to repost. Go to the artist's profile. Particulary, their description. Now you have four main scenarios:

- The artist mentions clearly (in English) that others may repost their works, BUT after given permission: Freaking cool! Go to step 3. - "Couldn't find anything (in English) regarding about permission" Don’t worry my fellow broski, now's the time where Google Translator becomes useful, so paste the whole text there and read what the /messy/ translation gives you. - Artist points out that they won't give permission to repost. Aw, I'm sorry mate, but here's where our journey ends. :( - Artist doesn't have a description nor says nothing about reposting. Worth trying, nothing to loose. Go to step 3.

3. But how on earth do I ask them?

By this point perhaps you've already noticed what language does the artist speak. Most common one is Japanese, followed by Chinese and a small portion of Korean. By this time, 99% of those who I asked spoke Japanese and just one Chinese speaker. These are so far the templates I’ve been using.

JAPANESE Permission format 1 (the one I use most of the time) Permission format 2 (a longer one, still nice) Permission format 3 (a bit lame one, but would be useful) Replies and keywords (very helpful!)

CHINESE/KOREAN Permission And for replying, I’d go with a trustworthy 「谢谢」.

4. After sending message.

Now you're almost done! Wait for the artist to reply to your message, which may take something between overnight (depending on your timezone) to a week and a half. Just be patient, because it's more likely that they will reply if they were active not so long ago. During these time, please, please, PLEASE, do NOT reprint their artwork without their written permission. Even if you think they will give you based on their description.

5. After reply and answering back.

If you used the first tempalte, maybe they will include the ''OK'' or ''NOT OK'' thing, which will give you an idea of what the artist says. Go to Google Translator and read what they send you. As they answered your message, it's always polite to make sure to answer them back. No matter what they told you. (see links above)

6. Posting

Finally, you're done! Just make sure your Tumblr post contains full credit, which includes: original name of the set, artist's name/Pixiv ID and art's ID. If the artist wants you to follow a guideline, please grant their wish, it won't take more than a minute.

Also, some tips I'd like to share:

If you get on a ''spree'' of denied permissions, don't feel bad. It's not like they seem to be rude, it's just like they won't seem sharing it everywhere and rather keep it personal.

Searching tags on Pixiv in English won't do a lot. Perhaps you'd like to search 「ヘタリア」 instead of ''Hetalia''.

If you want to include parenthesis or these flying commas '' '' (idk what they're called in English), you should use 「」or 【】 and ※ instead of •

Don't go asking a single person per week for permission, instead go ask 3 or 4 everytime you want to repost art.

I’d recomend you to store your formats almost filled on a notepad, word, or some program who lets you save text. As of myself, I use Evernote.

And thats it pretty much, if you or anyone reading this needs specific help (like on how to fill a template), just send an ask or message me at any time. Hope this helped! :)

#answered #meimei talks #hngggg sorry if I messed up while typing and seems kinda weird #maybe I'll continue adding things forward

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drink-n-watch · 4 years ago

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It might actually finally truly be summer here. I get paid by the adverb! But it really is a rather nice weekend. Sunny and bright but not too hot. The type of weekend that makes you want to just be lazy and not do a ton of paperwork. I have a lot of paperwork to do… I have been putting it off. But I absolutely must get this review out first. Right? Right! How are you doing Crow? Everything good for you?

I am doing mostly fine. It’s getting very summerly here (we’re splitting the adverb bounty, right?). Did you know it takes a week and a half to get the replacement valve that feeds refrigerant into my air conditioner? I just learned that myself. It arrives Thursday. The joys of homeownership…

We are now at episode 8 and going into the final arc. Unless My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom! Is planning on getting another season, we should be starting off the denouement right about now. Any thoughts before we get started?

I’m really curious to see what you thought about this one. I had fewer notes, but it’s taking a lot longer to process. And poor, poor Mary! I’m glad Maria was… Well, I don’t want to get ahead of ourselves…

Because the school year is nearing the end, Catarina is studying for her exams but she soon decides to take a little break and change things up, by doing some gardening. I was always fairly good at studying and absolutely horrific at gardening. I’m just a notorious plant mass murderer. It was a very upside down notion for me to have Catarina actually choose shovels over books. Like my brain had to adjust.

I grew up on a farm, so I had to make sure fields of plants lived or we had no income. It wasn’t easy, I can tell you! Fortunately, I just had to plow, disc, and cultivate. More experienced folks applied the nitrogen and other dangerous chemicals. Then the plants would not have been the only ones in danger!

In the garden, she runs into Alan and spying on them s from the school windows, Mary gets the wrong idea gets very worried and decides to go interrupt them.

She’s my favorite. I think that’s why I felt so sorry for her even through the after credits scene!

At this point we get the OP. I’m not sure if I’ve ever gotten a chance to mention it but I really like the opening song, for what it is. It’s quite bouncy and puts me in a good mood whenever I hear it. I think it really suits the series quite well. The visuals are fine but not that interesting all things considered, but when you pair them with the music, everything seems to come together so well. It’s sort of a nothing special really but solide and fun OP.

It’s a very uplifting song. Apparently, the artist is named angela, and Crunchyroll did a writeup on her. Very interesting video, by the way!

Fortunately for Mary, Catarina was in fact just going in, and the two meet up right away and go to the student council room to study for a bit. I quite like the squiggly writing they use. It looks a bit like drunken sanskrit. Sirius is there and they exchange a few words. Do you like his voice actor?

You know, I didn’t really give his VA any thought until this episode — and I thought that he’d done a particularly good job. Toshiki Masuda managed to sound friendly and helpful while giving off an ominous vibe!

At this point, the two girls (Mary and Catarina that is) decide to switch over to the library and start heading that way. I just wrote a post on anime libraries so this was very topical for me. On their way the first run into Geordo who decides to invite himself much to the chagrin of Mary. She really is not very good at hiding her emotions and her disappointment at losing her alone time showed on her face perfectly. Geordo teased a bit about it but was generally a very good sport about someone with romantic aspirations trying to spend alone time with his fiance. He’s impressively not jealous which you would think would be a big part of his archetype.

I wonder how this library compared to the ones in your post? About Gerald, though, he’s really surprised me. He has every right (socially speaking) to be upset that everyone’s horning in on his fiancée, but he’s generally been very patient!

Next, the tree of them ran into Keith who immediately decided to join in as well. From there, a series of quick vignettes showed all the main characters in turn decided to tag along, namely Maria, Sophia, Alan and finally Nicol. I really loved how Nicol was basically just a still shot of him without any dialog and the next scene was him walking with the group. That made me giggle. The entire little montage was fun.

The group finally makes it to the library which is surprisingly cozy, or maybe this was an offshoot or something. The room they were in only had one table and it was just big enough for the 8 of them.

Yes, it looked comfortable. But I thought it was awfully suspicious that neither Mary nor Catarina (okay, Mary…) had heard of the library when Sirius mentioned it. I wonder if he knew what was going to happen…

I think it’s at this point that I realized that I would probably like this show more if I was binge watching it. It’s great as is but I do think it loses a bit of its momentum having to wait a week between episodes and the repetitive nature of the narrative stands out more. It’s so light and airy I would probably have blown through an entire season in a day or two and have been left in a good mood for the rest of the week. What do you think Crow?

You know that I look for moments to celebrate, and I love the characters so much that I’ve been trying to ignore it. But, in all honesty, you’re right. As you said, it’s nothing against the show! Catarina’s Baka side is part of its charm. But it might flow more smoothly viewed all at once.

It seems that being part of a group does help Catarina focus on the books, but only for a short while. As she starts to get fidgety the Maries (that’s what I have decided to call the duo of Mary and Maria – it’s sort of a misspelling of both their names so no one can get mad. That makes just perfect sense) Where was I? I got lost in my own parenthesis. Oh yeah, seeing Catarina getting distracted! The Maries figure it’s a good time for a bit of a break. Maria decides to get them some sweets she made while Mary makes the tea. Both of them would make good maids.

No argument here!

Catarina jumps on the occasion to do something else and peruses the shelves next to the table when she spots a specific book that seems to glow for a minute. When Catarina she opens the book out of curiosity it glows a LOT more and we find out her voice stress has an impressive set of lungs on her. I was watching the show with my windows wide open and I’m sure my neighbours got a little worried there.

At this point, everyone in the library disappears, apparently having been sucked into the book, leaving behind the Maries. Maybe this will be their chance to save the day and redeem themselves after doing nothing but almost killing Alan last week!

This was the Bakarina moment for the episode, I think. I mean, if a book went all glowy for you, would you open it right in your own face? Especially if I couldn’t read the title (which I doubt Catarina could read).

Mary garbs the book and starts looking through it. Fortunately, it doesn’t also suck the two of them in for some reason, and they can sort of see what’s happening in the book’s universe through the pictures. Or maybe those are illusions? In any case they cannot seem to directly interact by touching the pictures. I’m not sure why they didn’t try writing something in the book. This whole idea is a little meta, Catarina getting sucked into the universe of a storybook from the universe of an otome she got sucked into….

I love Re:CREATORS. This is almost normal for me! Seriously, though, it is delightfully Inception-like! Or maybe I should say Paprika-like…

For some reason, Catarina is the only one who seems to realize something is amiss. Maybe because she comes from a different world to start off with? The Maries get to briefly watch a scene that seems to be taking place right after Geordo and Catarina’s wedding as the two of them start their first evening as husband and wife. Understandably, Geordo is eager to romance his one true love now that they are legal and after a 15 year courtship (I’m not actually sure how old they are but they seemed older than they are now and they have been engaged for a long time already…) but since for Catarina she was in the library a few minutes ago, it’s a bit of a shock. Nevertheless she doesn’t seem that opposed to it. I was looking through my screencaps of the scene and it ends on her smiling face. A visual I missed when reading the subtitles I guess because though she was a bit more hesitant than that expression seemed to indicate.

The scene gets to be a bit much for Mary and she slams the book shut not wishing to see her beloved Catarina with someone else in a romantic way. The Maries talk over what they have just seen and decide to open the book again not knowing what to do.

Honestly, I felt bad for Mary in this episode. It had to be very difficult to her to have to watch others acting on their romantic desires for Catarina!

I got a similar vibe from Catarina and Geraldo. She seemed more surprised than anything. Maybe from his perspective, his imagination had experienced the wedding ceremony. But she was still fresh from the library, so the scene was a complete surprise to her.

The next time Catarina is at her desk in her room, trying to study, with Keith standing over her shoulder. Except Keith looks a little weird. Like he got lip injections or something. Then he sort of flirts with her and tries to feed her a cookie. Which he immediately succeeds in because Catarina has never said no to a cookie, but before she gets to taste it, the book slams shut agan and Mary is exasperated. We learn that the book feeds on desires and we are actually seeing the characters deepest desires realized.

I laughed at Catarina’s reaction to Keith: “he’s giving off an oddly sexy vibe…”

I have to say, I can see it for Geordo. He is very much in love with his fiance and has worked hard for years to be the proper companion for her. I can see him really looking forward to their wedding night. I also figure he would be the type of guy who sees himself as debonnaire and smooth. But Keith’s scene was a bit baffling to me.

Sure Keith likes Catarin a lot, that’s no secret. And I completely believe that his deepest desire would involve her. But I can’t see him wanting to be a sleazy playboy type. Wouldn’t he have been horrified if not slightly repulsed by that version of him? It seems much more like what we are told game Keith is like rather than what the Keith we have come to know would fantasize about. This felt like they lost sight of the character a bit.

Unless the book is acting more on the characters based on their normal game routes? Nah, that’d be too subtle. I always saw Keith are more earnest and straight forward. I could see him helping her study, and getting closer and closer to her. But doing the who “open wide” thing? I’m with you on this one.

I don’t remember if this is where Alan comes in. His sequence is extremely short. We just see him playing piano next to a standing Catarina before Mary slams the book back shut, obviously not wanting to even think about it. I believe we are meant to understand that Mary also cares about Alan. It bothers her way more when he is with Catarina than when anyone else is and it’s not like Catarina shows him any favour. Think it may have hurt her feelings just a bit that she wasn’t any part at all of Alan’s desires.

Her eyes were completely blank. It’s like that was the last straw for her. I loved how Maria kept trying to comfort Mary. They worked well together in this episode!

The next scene was Sophia’s, and it was rather sweet. I like little dreams. Sophia and Catarina were in a library again but not the same library. This was Sophia’s private library and Catarina was really impressed by the wealth of romance novels available. She even mentioned wanting to live there which stirred up something in Sophia. The latter reacted by pinning Catarina to the wall with her arms on either side, all aggressive boy in a shoujo type. It was pretty funny to watch, especially as Sophia is markedly shorter. I’m not sure if they were going for actually romantic feelings here or a very strong friendship but either way, it was cute. Cute enough for Mary to slam the book shut again.

That library was probably too small to qualify for your list, wasn’t it? I agree that Sophia was just darling in this scene. She loves her time with Catarina, and the idea of the two of them living together with a stocked library seems to be a dream of hers.

Finally, we get Nicol’s fantasy sequence that was my favourite of the bunch. First, it really looked like an old school Sailor Moon episode with Serena fantasizing about Tuxedo Mask. In case that sentence didn’t make it sufficiently clear somehow, it looked amazing! Second, it was hilariously ridiculous. It seems even in his own desires, Nicol is pursued everywhere by a veritable army of swooning fangirls. I like this openly conceited Nicol. Second, he has the imagination to pretty much forgo realism. Unlike the others, his sequence wasn’t something that could happen and it made it all the better!

Leaping off the balcony into a gondola; sweeping Catarina into the air to bound from building to building, then telling her he’d love for her to be in his arms forever with the moon as a backdrop — yeah, he’s the most imaginative!

Mary is starting to get really worried about Catarina and how hungry she must be by now. Staring longingly at the sweets, she mentioned that Catarina hasn’t eaten in a while. At this point, the Maries suddenly remember that the magical book that feeds on people’s desires will let them go if their desires are fulfilled somehow. Unfortunately since they don’t really know what to do about it they decided to just open the book again and check on Catarina’s own desire next.

I really loved their teamwork this episode. Maria also showed that has a shrewd, inquisitive mind. Very cool!

I have to admit, the Maries seemed to believe that sweets were Catarina’s deepest desire (a reasonable guess), but I was sure that she would put them all to shame and they would see a scene with absolutely everyone, themselves included and realize that Catarina’s deepest desire is for everyone to be together and happy.

Catarina’s sequence opens with her walking alone through a grim looking forest and complaining about being hungry when she suddenly chances upon a life sized gingerbread house just like in the Hansel and Gretel fable. Of course, she goes right for it and starts devouring the walls. Soon the house turns into a tornado of candy which a rapidly fattening Catarina more or less vacuums up. The scene goes out of control quickly and the Maries try to shut the book again but something is going wrong as it distorts and bubbles. Suddenly everyone explodes out of the book.

We are told that because the book candy wasn’t real, Catarina couldn’t get full no matter how much she ate, so her desire just kept getting bigger and bigger until the book couldn’t handle it anymore. I’m not sure what they did with the book next but everyone was happy and they had tea and snacks. Too bad the Maries didn’t get a chance to do anything in the end.

I think I’d be at least a bit curious about the book — and why it decided to get my attention! It was interesting that they said it was one of the 7 mysteries of the school. Put me in mind of Yamada and the 7 Witches.

I’m not sure if I’m understanding this right, but if Mary had just let anyone’s scene play out, they would all have been freed from the book right away. Like it’s not really a trap. You get sucked in, it plays out your deepest desire and when it’s fulfilled, it lets you out. That sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me. I wish I had a bunch of those books lying around. Last week, Crow and I discussed potential My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom! Merchandise. I’m saying a fully functional desire book will make them all millionaires. I hope someone is working on that! Oh man, I would spend every second I could in anime worlds… probably watching anime…

My luck, no one would open the book, and I’d be trapped! Bit of a downside, there… But with the appropriate safety equipment, it could be a complete blast. There’re several worlds I wouldn’t mind visiting! As several I’d very much want to avoid…

Does anyone need to open the book?

Finally, the after credits scene showed a broken hearted Mary watching what she believes is her long time fiance betraying her with her best friend and not so secret unrequited love. It stops a bit abruptly so maybe it’s a lead in for the next episode?

I wondered for a moment if it was part of the book fantasy! But it doesn’t look like it. I thought Catarina might be more interested in Nicol! But that moment in the tree seemed so comfortable!

Crow, how did you enjoy episode 8 of My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom!? Are you looking forward to next week?

Yes, I did. Your earlier comments about some of the situations being repetitive was spot on, but I like the character so much that I’m really looking forward to the next episode. I really don’t want this comfortable, supportive group to change, though I know it has to! It’s just so rare to see a group like that being good to one another!

My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom! ep 8 – Simple Pleasures It might actually finally truly be summer here. I get paid by the adverb! But it really is a rather nice weekend.

#anime #blonde bishie #comedy #My Next Life as a Villainess #otome #reverse harem #romance

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