#half the time i feel like he’s annoying bc hes so… overbearing/ he talks way too mych 💔💔
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themostsanebug · 21 days ago
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HEEHHEGHEHEH!!!!!!! AYAYAYAYYAAYYY !!!!!!! eehhhh..ueejheh..... sorry im just. very happy about that. you mean a lot to me!!!!!! so obviously when. yea you get it.
hey dad im randomly mad again and i feel bad about it what do i do:(
“Oh dear. I'm so sorry this is late, kid. I'm here now. As for the answer to your problem? It's alright. Sometimes that can happen. Emotions can randomly come and go. You can't control them. I know it's hard to come to terms with your emotions. There could be some reason! Has anything happened recently? Anything that could be overwhelming? An influx of texts? Too many people talking at once? Too much noise.? If that's the case, would you like to sit in my office for awhile? It should be quiet. You can always play your music! I've played some of the songs from the one artist you played. It's very nice. I do enjoy the song you showed me! Cicada days, I believe it was called. Anyways, sorry. Don't feel bad for having emotions. You're fine; we can sit down and take a few deep breaths. Alright? You'll be alright. Trust me. I'm here for you."
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golbrocklovely · 2 years ago
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I’m not in the snc fandom by any means and I have no plan to do so but being just a causal fan of them, I have seen the way their fans act towards them, especially Colby. It always leaves a horrible taste in my mouth.
I sincerely wish these guys would start setting more boundaries with their fandom. There are sometimes where I see replies to their tweets or just looking up their users on twitter because I’m a nosy rosey sometimes and the things some of their fans say to them, especially Colby is just horrendous and down right yucky. It seems to be getting worse in my end too. The way some of their fans treat Colby likes he’s stupid, slow or like a child is just so gross. He’s a human being. It’s one thing to make a joke, but it’s another thing to treat him like he was born literally yesterday. It sometimes feels like infantalazation. Like this is a huge problem and I just wish that Colby would put his foot down about it. Hell, when everytime there’s a girl involved in his life everything goes haywire towards him. I just feel so bad for him at this point. if I had fans and they were pulling stuff like this, I wound definitely say something, and start muting/ blocking people if it started getting too much. Maybe Colby hates confrontation which I can totally understand. Maybe he hates drama as well. But if his fans keep getting away with basically being overbearing and weird, they’re never gonna treat him like a human.
I also have a hunch that he might be neurodivergent and has anxiety. I see a lot of myself through him. He does a lot of things I do. But I don’t wanna diagnose him because I personally don’t know him like that. I just hope he has a good head on his shoulders when it comes to this type of stuff. and I also just hope one day some of his fans grow up and stop treating him like he’s a dummy when he’s a very intelligent person. It drives me nuts when people do that to him. He clearly is very smart and very empathetic. A bright soul who deserves so much better. 🩷
this ended up being extremely long so... sorry about that haha
i getchu. i understand not wanting to join this fandom. tbh i only really enjoy the fandom on here and that's about it. insta there barely is a fandom, the tiktok fandom is too young and just makes shit up 90% of the time, and twitter…. is insufferable lol
and i completely agree with you about the treatment of colby. it's a weird mix of both treating him like a sex doll and treating him like a baby, which makes both behaviors all the more gross.
like i'll be honest, i don't love all the decisions he makes, and i have talked about that on here countless times. however, i don't actively tell him on social media how to live his life (aka i don't @ him on twitter when he does something that annoys me like a lot of other fans do). and at the end of the day i accept whatever he wants to do with his life. me complaining on here about some of the questionable ppl he has in his life isn't even half as bad as what i've seen on twitter, especially when it comes to some of the girls he occasionally is seen with.
over the years it's gotten worse, and i'm not sure for what reason. it feels like the fans started out on the right foot. they care about colby and don't want to see him get hurt. and i get that, i feel the same way. but at the same time, he's an adult. and in life you're gonna make some dumb decisions, and be friends with dumb ppl that you shouldn't have been. and that's your choice. and that's your mistake to make.
i think part of it is a lot of fans think they are owed a part of colby's life and having a say in it. maybe bc they've put time, effort, and money into being a fan, maybe it's bc they feel like they are friends with him and thus think they can say shit that a friend would say even tho they are a complete stranger to him. and while i can understand somewhat why someone would feel that way briefly, it doesn't change the fact it's not true. you aren't owed anything just bc you've been here a long time or bc you buy merch. so what. you aren't special in either one of those regards.
and when it comes to colby and his dating life… oh boy, that's where most of the drama lies. again, a lot of it comes from fans not wanting him to date a questionable girl. understandable. i get that protectiveness. however it has become very apparent that NO GIRL is good enough for him. fill in the blank on whatever reason, it doesn't matter. there is not a single girl that exists that everyone in the fandom can agree on. and that just shows that a lot of the concern comes from both jealousy and, if we're being completely honest, misogyny.
certain fans are jealous they will never get a chance to be with him, no matter how many y/n insert fanfics they read. and no girl is good enough bc nine times out of ten the reason is bc of something sexist like she's a slut or a gold digger or isn't pretty enough or is too pretty or isn't as good as other girls.
my favorite phrase, highkey, is when a girl is seen with colby, ppl start hating on her and then when asked why someone doesn't like her they respond with "idk she just gives me a bad vibe." lmao happens like clockwork.
all of this is to say that a lot of fans, while they love colby, don't respect him. they don't trust him to make his own decisions bc in their minds, he can't make the "right" ones. and thus needs to smothered into making the right one. and if he doesn't do that, then he deserves to be bitched at for eternity.
tbh i'm surprised colby tolerates half the fanbase at this point. if the fandom isn't yelling at him for breathing wrong, they're making fun of him. and while it's fine to be playful and banter with him, there's a difference between a one off comment and constantly picking at everything he does down to whether or not he has facial hair. like… why are we talking about his body hair? yall are weird for that one.
if i was colby, i wouldn't have fans anymore. bc i would blocking ppl left right and center. idc that you supported me for a long time, if you're mean to me, you're gone. and i ain't gonna listen to (usually) a child yell at me for fucking a random girl (or maybe not even fucking a random girl). that's why last year i wanted him to go chaos mode. i wanted him to fuck every and any girl that said yes strictly so fans would come to the realization that YOU DON'T CONTROL HIM.
get over it or gtfo. it's really that simple.
and as for whether or not he's neurodivergent, that's obviously something he would have to explore himself. i personally have always thought he might secretly have depression and definitely anxiety since he's talked about that part himself. there's a lot of things he has done in the past that make me think there might be something under the surface and reminds me a lot back when i was in denial of what was going on mentally. and there are times he gets into funks, and you can just see the light drain out of him for a bit. but in the end, that's for him to explore and seek help for if he so chooses and feels the need to. i would hope if he truly did ever feel bad he would ask for help.
he's a very strong person and has such a love for life. i just hope he lives it to the fullest. i truly just want to see him happy.
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bokuroskitten · 3 years ago
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fuck i love kuroo so much😩
im a sucker for college au😩
can you do a self ship. him helping u out w your studies
grabbing coffee tpgetger.
asking him how to solve chemistry numericals bc im so shit at that:(
movie dates, just hanging out together, him listening to ramble abt how you nearly broke a beaker in the chemistry lab:(
and what happens when we both retire for the day. :)
Me too babes, me too 😩 also, collage AU? Let’s kick it
Mans a nerd, we know this already. And as much as he thinks he’s a good tutor, sometimes he can be so overbearing.
Man will be looking over your shoulder more than looking at his own work. When you tell him “babe do your work” he doesn’t even pick up that your annoyed, rather he states, matter of factly of course “oh no I’m done it already—“
Also totally the type to like— hiss or like make one of those little noises when he sees you start to do something wrong. You slowly look up at him, and he tries so hard to bite his tongue. “Yes, tetsu—“ “I— it’s nothing, but that’s calculation actually looks like this—“
Despite this he’s also very understanding of your frustrations. Doesn’t try to push something if you’re really not getting it. Instead he’ll suggest a little mind break, or have the two of you focus on something else. “Ya won’t get anything done if you’re frustrated pretty, let’s move on okay?”
He grabs the coffee every time. He’s memorized your order from your very first date. Every time he slides it across the table to you you can’t help but grin.
“You’re never gunna forget my order are ya?” “Nope, it’s glued to my brain.”
When the sun starts to set through the library windows he decides to pack it up. He’s grateful your with him though, because he has a terrible tendency of staying in the library till it closes. He’s had a very embarrassing instances where the librarian has woken him up long past close with a frown. So in this sense, you’re his reminder to head home <3
Kuroo likes taking you out cause he likes showing you off. That will smith meme? Ya know showing off his wife? Him, 100%. “A table for me and this fine piece of ass i have with me, please.”
This mf— is the type to not order his own popcorn cause “he won’t eat it.” Only to eat half of yours 🤨🤨
Nights with him are the best though. Kuroo seems to have a large social battery, but as soon as the two of you head back to either your dorm or his he’s just a sleepy man
Wants cuddles, desolately. But understands proper skin care so he makes sure he has your typical face products in his dorm so you can use them. Also he loves watching and asking questions. Mans is just so curious “what kinda cream is that?” “What’s the mask for?” “What the fuck is a serum—“
Likes when you sit yourself between his legs, and lay your head on his chest 😩😩 he likes to know that you feel comfortable enough to rest on him like this.
Always always asks about your day. What made you happy, what you did, did anything bad happen? He loves hearing you talk, can’t help but look at you with little hearts in his eyes like the simp he is
He gets really warm during the night but still cuddles until the two of you fall asleep. Then he either keeps one arm on your waist, or holds your hand. Seems like a weird thing to do while sleeping, but his way to feel your presences without getting too uncomfy 💋
Kuroos bday event
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plant-flwrs · 4 years ago
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(2/2) Everyone treats her badly and there is angst because she hates that people can't see her as more than a Malfoy and assume she's like Draco because they’re so close. And then kind of go with that? The background is kinda detailed 😂 sorry. I just had this idea stuck in my head and well I suck at writing and you write Draco as a brother amazingly.
similar shadows // george weasley
entire request:  (1/2) okay I'm finally here sending the ask. So can I have a reader x George (idk who else to ask for). So the reader is Draco's twin but in Ravenclaw. Her and Draco are really close and Draco is very protective over her but not overbearing. She's shy, book nerdy and socially awkward so she tends to stay with Draco; Draco understands her (cue sweet brother). (2/2) Everyone treats her badly and there is angst because she hates that people can't see her as more than a Malfoy and assume she's like Draco because they’re so close. And then kind of go with that? The background is kinda detailed 😂 sorry. I just had this idea stuck in my head and well I suck at writing and you write Draco as a brother amazingly.
masterlist!
a/n: ugh i love writing draco as a brother even if his characterization is completely inaccurate for it, he just has such little brother energy to me (and a warning, i took a lot of creative liberties for draco’s personality in this, i couldn’t resist it. it just made the brother/sister dynamic sm better in my opinion). also included flirty!george in this just bc i love it. i hope u like this, tysm for the request!!
summary: Living in the Malfoy shadow conditioned you to behave a certain way, avoid certain things. But, once your able to use the Quidditch pitch to finally prove you are something different than your last name, everything seems to fall into place. You even catch a certain Weasley’s eye.
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The air in Malfoy Manor was always thick; thick with unsaid words, hateful tension, and awful regrets. It was a blessing for you to leave and go to Hogwarts every year.
The train ride was something you looked forwards to. Curled up in the window seat, because Draco always let you have the window seat, with whatever book you were reading at the moment. You tuned out Draco’s usual complaining to Pansy and Blaise, indulging yourself in the novel perched on your lap.
The trip never lasted long enough, though, and soon you were shuffled into Hogwarts. Draco gave your shoulder one last bump and a weak smile before you went to sit at the Ravenclaw table. You tilted your head back, gazing up at the ceiling with wonder in your eyes. The Ravenclaw table was filling up, and you managed a seat closest to the professors’ table. Your eyes scanned the Slytherin table until they found the familiar head of platinum hair you were looking for. Even if he wasn’t with you, just seeing Draco made you feel a little safer.
Dinner went quickly with your head shoved in a book, and soon you were excused to your common rooms. Draco slid away from the mass of green ties, walking with you to your common room. The two of you walked slowly, falling from the crowd to stroll by yourselves.
“I heard that the Ravenclaw Quidditch team needs a new seeker this year,” Draco started, shoving his hands in his pants pockets, “maybe you should try out.”
“I don’t know,” you clutched your book closer to your chest, “Quidditch was always your thing.”
“You’re a great flyer, Y/n,” Draco glanced at your hesitant expression, “look, it can’t hurt to try out.”
“Maybe,” you offered him, enjoying the way he smiled proudly once you gave in.
He wrapped a brotherly arm around your shoulders, marching you up the endless amount of stairs to the Ravenclaw common room. 
The next day of lessons came far too soon, and your timetable clutched in your shaky hands was giving you a headache. You looked up, seeing a familiar room number, but upon looking back at your timetable, you realized you were on the completely wrong side of the castle.
You turned on your heal, starting down a new corridor. Glancing at your watch, you saw you were already late for lessons. While your eyes were off the hallway in front of you, you hit the hard chest of someone coming your way.
“In a hurry, Malfoy?” the voice said as you both stumbled back.
George Weasley stood in front of you, a playful and happy expression on his handsome features. You knew he was only joking when he called you ‘Malfoy’, but you really did hate it. People called Draco that, and you didn’t often like to be associated with the reputation your father had curated with the last name.
“You two!” someone called from the end of the hallway.
George groaned, looking over your shoulder, “Great.”
“Detention, tonight, my office,” Filch told the two of you, pointing a finger in your faces.
You pulled back, eyeing his finger suspiciously. You didn’t realize you were doing it, but as George looked at you he noticed you were doing the signature Malfoy sneer.
“Thanks,” George said sarcastically, bumping your shoulder as he passed you.
You took a deep breath, starting off to find your class again.
“How were your classes?” Draco slumped next to you on the bench, pulling out a piece of what you thought might be pumpkin bread.
He tore off a chunk, eating it slowly. He held a piece out to you and you accepted it gratefully.
“Awful,” you said simply, putting your head to rest against your hand, “I couldn’t find half of them.”
“You should have told me, I could have helped,” Draco said, looking a little annoyed at you.
“You had your own classes to worry about,” you defended, taking another piece of pumpkin bread from him.
Draco rolled his eyes, looking around the courtyard until his eyes fell on Harry Potter sitting with a few other Gryffindors.
“Given any other thought about Quidditch? Tryouts are next week,” he mentioned, tearing his eyes away from Harry.
“I don’t know, depends on how hard my classes are,” you made up an excuse.
“Your classes are never hard for you,” Draco teased, giving you the rest of the bread, “and besides, I think you have a real chance of being a better seeker than Potter.”
You rolled your eyes, unable to contain the surprised laughter that bubbled from your chest.
“Yeah right!”
Draco scoffed, joining in your infectious laughter. You finished off the bread in your hand and reluctantly went to serve your detention with Filch.
You had never had detention before, so nerves racked your body. You looked around anxiously, twisting your hands behind your back.
“Malfoy,” George called to you from the end of the hallway.
You turned around to look at him, and waited while he jogged to catch up with you.
“You’re actually going to the detention? Figured you would have thrown a fit to Dumbledore to get out of it,” he said rudely, giving you a critical glance.
You ignored him, biting your tongue. You walked a few paces ahead of him, also ignoring his scoff.
You opened the door to Filch’s office, not bothering to wait for George. You sat on one of the old chairs in front of the desk, waiting for Filch’s sneer to turn into words.
“You two are going to polish the frames on all the portraits in this corridor,” he growled, placing two toothbrushes and one rag on his desk.
“All of them?” George repeated, sounding bothered.
“All of ‘em,” Filch said, his mouth turning up in a smile at the sight of misery.
You took a toothbrush and the rag, standing from your seat. You wordlessly walked out into the hallway and went all the way to one end. You kneeled, getting to work on a low hanging portrait. The portrait was a family sitting at a dining room table, mounds of food piled in front of them. There was a mother bouncing a baby on her knee, lifting food into it’s mouth. A young boy sat across from her, shoveling mashed potatoes into his small mouth. The father at the head of the table watched them both happily, cutting the large chicken at the center of the table. They all stopped what they were doing at the sight of you crouched in front of them, but once they saw you begin to clean, their cautious looks were replaced with thankful ones.
You watched the family, smiling faintly as they began eating again.
George had went to the opposite side of the hallway, and you began moving towards each other as the sun dwindled from the sky and candles dimly illuminated the hall. Soon, you were a few feet apart, both scrubbing with heavy hands. You moved onto the next portrait, craning your neck to look at it’s place much higher than you could reach.
You stood on the tips of your toes, extending your arm as far as it would go. You couldn’t even reach the bottom of the frame. Suddenly, George’s taller frame was hovering next to you, watching with an entertained smirk as you balanced on your toes. 
“Need some help?” he drawled, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest.
You fell to stand flat on your feet, nodding your head shyly. He chuckled, moving past you and effortlessly cleaning the frame.
You watched him for a moment, noticing the rise in his shirt that exposed the beginnings of his toned stomach. You watched the way his biceps flexed under his sleeves as his hand moved back and forth against the portrait. Your eyes drifted back to the wall, sitting with your legs crossed to clean a portrait closer to the floor.
“You don’t talk as much as Draco does,” George said suddenly, looking down at you from his position above you.
You didn’t respond, only giving him a quizzical expression.
“Every time I see him he’s ranting or complaining about something or other,” George continued, playfully smiling.
“Complaining is one of his hobbies,” you teased, smiling at the sound of George’s chuckle.
“So you’re his twin?” he asked, dropping his hand from the portrait and leaning against the wall again to look at you.
“Yeah,” you said, still focused on the portrait.
“You guys don’t seem too similar,” he said, furrowing his brows.
“Well, are you and Fred too similar?” you quipped, and he chuckled again.
“ ‘Spose we aren’t,” he said, turning back to the portrait, “good thing really. Gives me the opportunity to be the better one of us.”
You giggled at George’s joke, and stood from your spot on the floor.
He handed you the rag and you gave one last swipe to the portrait you just scrubbed. You placed your hands on your hips, looking down the hallway and admiring your work.
“Guess that’s it,” George said, twisting his brush in his fingers.
“Guess it is,” you said sheepishly.
You turned to walk back to Filch’s office, George trailing behind you.
Something about that little interaction made your spirits higher for an entire week. You didn’t know why, but the idea of making George Weasley laugh gave you some confidence that you lacked before. Your entire life at Hogwarts, people assumed you were like Draco. You fell in Draco’s shadow and people associated you with him and his mean tendencies. When you spoke with George, you knew he could relate to you. You knew he fell in Fred’s shadow some times, everyone knew that. Fred was the louder one, the one who usually had a girlfriend cheering for him at his Quidditch matches. George was quieter and thoughtful. You felt drawn to George.
You riding the coattails of that minor interaction with George was the only thing willing your legs to move towards the Quidditch pitch. Well, that and Draco’s firm grip on your shoulders making sure you didn’t turn and run away.
Draco had written to your mother after his first mention of Quidditch to you, and she sent you everything you needed with no hesitation. You gripped your new Firebolt in your shaky hands and tugged at the heavy pads wrapped around your forearms. Once you stood in front of the Ravenclaw team captain, you bent over slightly to adjust your knee pads. Draco’s hands left your shoulders.
“Good luck, you’re gonna do great.” he mumbled into your ear, glancing around to make sure no one else heard his kind words. He flashed you a thumbs up as he walked to the elevated grass near the goal posts, sitting down to watch.
You pulled your gloves on tighter, afraid they would fall off and affect your playing. You gulped as the captains eyes scanned you critically.
“Malfoy?” he asked, not hiding the surprise in his voice.
“Yes?” you squeaked, gripping your broom tighter.
“Oh,” he said, a pleasantly surprised look on his face, “nothing, just didn’t expect to see you here.”
You faked a smile at him, biting your tongue. You were already here, why not try to make a good impression?
You followed all the directions. The drills they had you do were nothing compared to what Draco and you used to do in the garden during the summer. You easily flew laps around everyone else, a combination of your impressive broom, and your skills alone.
The captain had reservations about you, eyeing Draco suspiciously as he cheered for you from the ground. However, after your third successful time catching the snitch, he didn’t care much about your last name. 
He told you that you made the team a few days later, telling you when to show up for practice, and when the next game was. It was Ravenclaw vs. Hufflepuff, and your captain sounded quite confident about it. So did Draco.
“You’re going to kill them!” he said enthusiastically, not hiding any of his excitement as you two walked alone along bank of the Black Lake.
You giggled at his enthusiasm, unable to stop the confidence bubbling in your chest at the thought of you catching the snitch during your first Quidditch match.
“Well, it is Hufflepuff,” you joked, shoving his shoulder with yours, “I doubt they’ll put up too much of a fight.”
Draco made an ‘ooo’ noise, his shoulders jostling with laughter.
“Trash talking already? Before your first match?”
You smiled sheepishly, not often getting to talk this freely with anyone. You enjoyed your private talks with Draco. He didn’t have to put on a hard façade, and you didn’t have to put on a painfully nice one. You were both free to be yourselves, and you hoped one day you would have someone, who wasn’t your brother, to be yourself around.
You had gone over the plays tirelessly with your captain. You didn’t eat for three days, too nervous to find food appealing. You had to force down some eggs and toast before your match, just so you wouldn’t pass out. 
You pulled at your gloves uncomfortably, fidgeting with every detail on your perfect broom just to make sure it was all in order. You stepped onto the field, hearing the roaring crowd. Everyone in the school was there; it was the first match of the year. 
You felt your eggs and toast fighting their way up your throat, but you swallowed hard, willing them to stay put. Your chin shook with the intensity in which you clenched your jaw, eyes darting everywhere at once.
“You’ve got this,” your captain slapped you on the back, jolting you forward a bit. You stumbled, using your broom as support to catch yourself from falling on your face.
Once on the field, you hovered easily face to face with the Hufflepuff seeker. Your entire body was shaking with nerves, and just before the whistle was blown, you heard the entire Slytherin and Ravenclaw student section joined in chanting your name. Your first name.
You smiled widely, enjoying the change. You were being recognized for more than your last name, for more than your family crest. You weren’t the girl who bore a striking resemblance to the meanest boy in your grade, you were more than the Malfoy’s blonde hair and grey eyes. You were you. You were Y/n.
The game was over faster than it started. The chasers in blue had only scored four goals on the Hufflepuff's before you caught the snitch, diving down to the ground with your hands wrapped tightly around the little golden orb.
Lee Jordan screamed from his spot on the teacher’s balcony, and you thought it would have made the ears bleed of anyone within 100 feet of him. Your team huddled around you, lifting you from your feet and throwing you into the air. You never let go of the snitch, keeping it clutched in your hand until you spotted Draco strolling over to you on the field. You tapped the shoulder of your captain, and he told everyone to put you down. People jostled your shoulders, clasping your back and sending varied praises your way. You nearly felt like crying, you were so happy.
You ran to Draco, tossing your broom cautiously on the ground. You jumped into his chest, his unsuspecting hands still tucked into his pants pockets. He made a disgruntled noise, stumbling back as you wrapped your sweaty arms around his neck.
“Oh my god!” you screamed, your face a flushed pink.
“I know!” he screamed back, smiling at your enthusiasm. 
“Let me see it,” he said, putting you on your feet and picking up your hand with his.
You let his palm hold yours, opening your fingers slowly. The snitch stayed put, resting still in your gloved hand. Draco’s mouth cracked into a smile, his pale face illuminating with happiness and pride. He was proud of his sister.
“I knew you would do it,” he said, wrapping his arms around your shoulders again and bringing you into a suffocating hug.
You trekked up the hill to the castle, blue surrounding you in a huddle. The only thing out of place was Draco’s all black suit he wore, but it didn’t matter. You walked side by side, and no one questioned his presence, because you just caught the snitch.
“Nice game,” you heard a voice from behind you, falling into step with you.
You looked to your left, seeing the tall frame of George Weasley. He wore a knit beanie over his ginger hair, and a sweater with his initial on it. You beamed at him, your cheeks still flushed from the excitement.
“Thanks,” you said, not taking your eyes off of him until he looked away, laughing.
“Who knew you had it in ya?” he joked, bumping his shoulder into yours.
“I did,” Draco mumbled from your other side. You turned to him, sending him a warning glance, and then looked back at George.
“Well, the Hufflepuff's certainly didn’t,” you said, referencing the way their seeker had barely even glanced at you when the game was starting.
George laughed again, and you felt your knees go a little weak. Who’s wouldn’t at the sight of an older and handsome boy laughing at a joke you made?
“Not looking forward when we have to go against Ravenclaw in a few weeks,” George said, an impressed and admiring look on his face, “you’ll definitely give Harry a run for his money.”
Draco snorted from beside you, and you sent a sharp elbow to his side. He groaned, moving a hand to nurse the spot. You kept your dazed eyes locked on Georges. George’s eyes flickered to a semi-hunched over Draco, his smile widening. 
“I’ll talk to you later,” he said, smirking at you. 
You watched his long legs carry him away, his hands stuffed in his pockets.
“Don’t tell me you fancy a Wea-” Draco started, but you winded your elbow up as a warning and he stopped suddenly.
“Shut up,” you said, still watching the way George moved through the crowd as if he was untouchable.
It was in that moment that you felt normal. You didn’t feel ostracized or different. You felt like a normal teenager with a normal annoying brother, playing a normal sport, and having a normal schoolgirl crush. Your smile felt like it would never leave you that night.
And it didn’t, it only managed to grow larger. You felt two large hands clasp around your shoulders at breakfast. You were stuffing your face, finally finding food appealing again, and with cheeks filled with food you turned and locked eyes with the always handsome George Weasley.
You stopped chewing, food sitting docile in your mouth. Your eyes widened, and you brought a hurried hand to cover your mouth as you began to chew again, ducking your head slightly as George looked at you, amused.
“Just wanted to check and see how the post-win glory was treating you,” he said, straddling the bench next to you.
You swallowed hurriedly, taking a sip of water from your goblet to wash down the food. You smiled nervously at him.
“Well, I don’t feel too different,” you said, grinning.
He laughed, resting an elbow on the table and pushing his hair back slightly with his large hand. You gulped as you watched his biceps flex at the movement, admiring his strong jaw as his head turned into his hand.
“Really?” he teased, a crooked grin on his lips as he shamelessly looked you up and down.
“I got my appetite back,” you said, buttering up your third piece of toast and putting it on your plate, “couldn’t eat for days before the match.”
“Harry gets like that,’ George said casually, “Fred and Ron eat more than ever before a match.”
You giggled, and George smiled at the sight.
“What about you?” you asked him, meeting his brown eyes with your grey ones.
George seemed taken aback, like no one often asked about him.
“Oh,” he said, smiling shyly at you, “I don’t know. I guess I eat less before matches.”
You nodded your head, and George cleared his throat awkwardly.
“Alright,” he began to stand, looking down at you, “just wanted to check in on ya.”
“Thanks,” you said, blushing wildly as he sauntered back over to the Gryffindor table.
Practice only got harder and longer, and soon, you barely had any time to sleep. You managed to get most of your homework done in class, but you still had some extra assignments creeping up on you. You spent most of your nights on the pitch, and the evenings grew colder. Every night, though, you could glance to the green student section and see Draco huddled in some type of fur, watching you practice. He often brought his own homework up there with him, using it to pass the time when you weren’t doing anything particularly impressive.
Draco met you on the pitch as the moon illuminated the grass around you. You drank some water, sweating under your thick robes.
The two of you walked back to the castle, and Draco slid you a roll of parchment from his bag.
“What’s this?” you asked, unrolling the paper.
“It’s your potions essay,” he said, “I knew you’d forget to do it, so I took care of it for you.”
“Thank you,” you sighed out, feeling tremendously relieved at the thought of one less assignment to to, “I feel exhausted.”
“You look it,” Draco mumbled, and you hit his arm with the tightly rolled parchment. 
You made it into the castle, the halls squeaking with the sound of your teammates walking to the Ravenclaw dorm. Draco followed you, the two of you breaking off from your team. He carried your parchment for you as you untied all the pads and equipment hugging your body.
“Both the Malfoy’s in one place? To what do I owe this pleasure?” you turned, seeing George Weasley slipping from behind a tapestry hanging on the wall.
“Where did you come from? Is there something behi-” Draco lifted the tapestry carefully, and while he moved, George replaced his spot next to you.
Draco felt the hard wall behind the tapestry and you watched him with a smirk on your face as his hands continued to inspect where George had managed to come from.
“Hello,” he said, bumping his shoulder into yours with his arms crossed over his chest.
“Hi,” you said shyly, painfully aware of your wind-thrown hair and sweating face.
“What are you two up to?”
“He’s just walking me back to my dorm,” you said, still fiddling with one part of the pad on your arm that always gave you trouble.
“Well, I’m sure he needs his beauty sleep. Think I could manage getting you back safely?” George purred from beside you, speaking so Draco couldn’t hear him as you watched your brother hit his knuckles on the hard stone wall.
“Could you? Pretty big shoes to fill,” you joked, pointing at Draco’s fancy dress shoes that were obviously smaller than George’s.
“I wouldn’t be caught dead in those shoes,” George joked back, and at the sound of your loud giggle, Draco stopped looking at the wall.
“What’s so funny?” he snarled, sending a foe intimidating look at George.
“Draco,” you said sternly and warningly, “George is going to walk me to my dorm, you can go and get some rest.”
Draco narrowed his eyes at you, weighing his options. He could give up easily and leave you to a presumably awkward walk alone with George, or he could embarrass you a little. He chose the latter.
“Alone? Are you mental-”
“I swear to god Draco,” you cut him off, the sheer tone of your voice making his eyes widen a little in fear.
Draco cleared his throat awkwardly, adjusting the tight sleeves of his dress shirt.
“Fine,” he said, “I’ll see you tomorrow morning?” he cast a glance at George, looking stern, “In one piece?”
George was smiling like a fool, suppressing a giggle at the interaction. Draco shoved your parchment into your chest, and you held onto it as he stalked off.
“Thank you, Draco! Love you!” you called after him in a sing-song and sisterly voice.
He waved his hand, back still towards you, and you and George laughed.
You two started walking again, falling easily into step with each other, You struggled holding your parchment without crushing it as you still worked on that one part of your arm padding.
“Do you need some help?” George asked from beside you, offering his hand out.
“Uh, yeah,” you said, handing him the parchment as the two of you began up the stairs.
He watched you for a moment, your delicate fingers struggling to untie a complicated knot.
“Here,” he said, placing a hand on your shoulder to cease your walking. 
You stopped, and he took a step down so he was on a lower level of the stairs. You were eye level, and his brown eyes bore into yours as he waited for you to hold your hand out. You did, and he crouched to place the scroll on the step next to him. He returned to your height, his strong fingers going to your arm.
He held your hand for a moment, pulling it to the side as he looked at the knot. His hand slid down your wrist, over the padding, and to the knot near your elbow. You kept your eyes on his hands, afraid that if you looked at his face you might explode.
“Thanks,” you whispered, feeling like your lips would crack and fall off if you said anything more.
“Of course, darling,” he whispered back, and you could hear the smirk in his voice.
You felt your legs tremble, your entire body seemed to have fireworks shooting through its veins. You did everything in your power not to throw your head back and start giggling manically.
Soon, the padding was looser on your arm, and George held it as it fell off. He gave it to you, placing it gently in your outstretched hand. You took it, holding it by some of the string at the top. He turned you by your shoulders so you stood directly facing him. You felt your throat close a little.
He was bending his knees suddenly, crouching at your feet. His face was by your hips, and you felt your face burn red at the close proximity. You felt his long fingers working on the knee pads you still had on. One of his warm hands lay flat against your shin for support, as the other pulled easily at the string holding your kneepad on. Your fingers tightened around the arm pads you were holding, and once again you were willing yourself not to let out some sort of desperate giggle.
He rose, meeting your eyes.
“All better,” he mumbled, his voice deep.
He held your knee pads for you with one hand, and the other held onto your parchment. You both stood for a moment on the stairs like that, face to face at the same height. If you took a slightly deeper breath, your chest would have expanded and brushed against George’s. You took shallow breaths.
“Let’s go,” he said, but made no effort to move. He sounded entranced and dazed, and you caught his eyes flicker to your lips. You licked them nervously, not realizing what you were doing until George’s eyes followed your tongue gliding against your mouth. You saw his adam’s apple bob in his throat, and your eyes widened a little. 
You turned suddenly, going to take another step up the stairs. George’s strong hand wrapped around your wrist, steadying you as you stumbled back to the lower step. You nearly fell, but his strong chest was there to catch you. You were pulled against him and his arm wrapped around your lower waist. He looked at you for a second, and then pulled you down another step so you were on the same one as him. He bent his neck down, and you tilted your head up, your lips meeting in the middle.
One of his hands moved to wrap around the back of your neck, willing your face closer to his as if there was any space between you two. You heard the clatter of you knee pads as he set them aside a few feet away, and you dropped the arm pads you were holding. Your hands slid to rest on his chest, feeling the soft material of his sweater beneath your cold fingers. You pressed a little against him, his toned chest not that far from your touch. He smirked as you ran your nails down from his collar bones to dangerously close to the top of his belt. You pulled away, resting your forehead on his. You both breathed deeply, lips parted.
“Draco’s gonna kill me,” you whispered with a small smile.
“You’re thinking about your brother right now?” George joked back, tucking a piece of your blonde hair behind your ear.
“Should I be thinking about your brother?”
George pulled away from you completely, his hearty laugh filling the small staircase you were in. You laughed too, picking up your padding.
George held the padding and your parchment in one hand, and you held both of your arm pads in one hand. He slipped his hand into yours, and the two of you walked up the stairs.
As you went, neither of you felt like you were in the shadow. George was his own person apart from Fred, with his own interests and his own jokes. You weren’t the brooding Malfoy, you were the girl who laughed and kissed boys in stairwells. 
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koushisatori · 4 years ago
Text
Surprise
kuroo x f!reader
genre: birthday fluff
warnings: none
word count: 2.3k
note: I made it !! Happy Birthday to you, Kuroo ! <3 - Also I’ll beta it later when i’m home from university, bc it’s 3 am here, oops x.x
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Kuroo wasn’t jealous, really because logically there was no reason to be
You were his girlfriend and you did not mind sudden Hollywood blockbuster worthy kisses when he got a spurt of…possessiveness towards you
He is in no way overbearing or anything, both of you share the opinion that even though you’re a couple you don’t have to be together all the time, spend afternoons with your friends
Then again, you two spend quite a lot of time together, with you being the  Volleyball Clubs manager, always staying behind with your team when they practiced way past the official clubs' training's hours
But sometimes he woke up and felt the need to have you all to himself
On those days a slightly lingering gaze by other would irk him enough to    permanently glue himself to your side or back
Because of the rareness of that situation, you generally give into that specific mood and take him either with you if you had plans or adapt to whatever your handsome boyfriend seemed fit
(usually, it consists of getting snacks from the store to make watching movies more fun after you both finished your homework. And also cuddles. Lots and lots and lots of cuddling and kisses.)
Anyway, normally he’s a super laid back, relaxed, and ‘’the best boyfriend in the world, right, baby?’’
Kuroo was happy with being ‘’a bit (big times) nerdy’’ as kenma liked to remark, liked that things had their reasons and were logically intelligible
Well…he quickly realized that, while emotions were chemically explainable this also was as far as logic was helpful with them
Sooo…there was no reasonable excuse for him to feel that ugly burning in his chest watching you ruffle through Lev’s hair and giggle so cutely
But it was his birthday, and you should be all over HIM because HE was YOUR boyfriend and in general, maybe he had one of those not so great days bc not only did he get stuck in his bedsheets and face planted to the ground first thing in the morning but his breakfast toast also landed with its face on the kitchen floor just after he put away all the things he used
You were…not avoiding him but kind of distant with your thoughts
At lunch, he was telling you something you’d usually find at least funny if not hilarious because your humor was so fantastically similar to his, but all you did was smile lightly
You even whispered with Yaku instead of talking to him !! how dare you
Rest in peace, Kuroo (you will survive one day with a bit less attention of your s/o)
He wasn’t jealous of Lev or thought that you suddenly developed feelings for the younger boy
He was jealous because that tall child hoarded all of your attention, while you had looked at him maybe twice, three times tops, in the last hour
‘’Kuroo.’’ To the untrained ear the small setters voice as passive as usual. Kuroo though is able to easily distinguish the various different layers of Kozume Kenma’s very real, emotional bandwidth. The captain did hear Kenma and his questioning as well as slightly worried tone, he simply chooses to not react in favor of shooting (barely) decently hidden death glares at the to-tall-for-his-own-good-boy. 
‘’Kuroo.’’ The slight change in his childhood friend's voice was enough for the black-haired player to grudgingly turn away from you and Lev to look at Kenma.
‘’Yes.’’ Tetsurou huffs out, giving his best to not sound like a petulant child. ‘’You’re so dumb.’’ Kenma said dryly, definitely analyzing him. The questioning sound leaving Kuroo was close to embarrassing, a quick cough and back straightening later, he adds ‘’You wound me. Right here.’’ While pressing his hand flat against his chest. ‘’Where’s my understanding childhood friend to put balm on my hurting heart by sharing emotionally charged, empathic words with me?’’
Instead of offering the desired words, the smaller boy rolls his eyes before he averts them to his hand-held gaming console. ’’Can you put that thing away, we’re at practice Kenma.’’ Kuroo all but unintentionally whined. 
Everything was stressing him out today. Usually, his childhood friend at least stuck to the general rule of not using it outside the breaks. But obviously, there was a plot against him going on with the goal to annoy him more than usual because, of course, why not doing it on his damn birthday. Nice friends and their nice presents.
Just like Kuroo did mere minutes before, Kenma decided to simply…ignore his request half voiced as some kind of instruction. Well…things didn’t work like they were supposed to, he didn’t feel like arguing with his friend so he let him be for now. Rather than that, he turned back to you and Lev, who – for once – seemed eager to train his digging and passing game because you threw the volleyball for him to dive after.
‘’Where in freaking hell is Yaku…’’ Kuroo muttered grumpily, before repeating louder ‘’Yaku! Why am I the only third…Noboyuki!’’These definitely aren’t my friends, he thought while finally giving in to his deepest desire of ripping you away from the grey-haired future wannabe ace. 
‘’You truly are dense when it comes to (Y/N),’’ Kenma says, moving away towards the benches, before swerving around them to leave for the clubroom. ‘’The definition of tunnel vision.’’
The thing is, Kuroo heard Kenma say it, but his brain refused to acknowledge them, too focused on finally being in the spotlight of your focus.
 Meanwhile, you were watching your dark-haired boyfriend closer than he realized. You carried the whole plan. Or rather your ability to make him lose focus on anything that isn’t you, with just the right amount of addressing the slight possessive side of his and deprivation of your attention.
Even though all of this was just so the others could fulfill their part of the plan, you hate how it led him to mope around the whole day. It was so hard to not laugh about his stupid science joke at lunch and overall, not tell him all day how glad you were that he was born. This is his special day, why wouldn’t you tell him how much you loved his presence and his annoyingly attractive smirk? If not for the others and them begging and bribing you, you would smooch his kissable cheeks, nose, forehead, and lips all day long to honor this special date.
You are an amazing and emphatic girlfriend, so…of course, you realize that his mood in general is rather on the bad side today. He wants you close and to himself, and you did the complete opposite! Tetsurou would absolutely give you an ear full later when he finally understood the whole plan.
Nonetheless, it is kind of cute how he tried to hide that he was sulking. Your big baby of a boyfriend was currently trying to kill poor Lev with his gaze alone, staring holes into the back of his head all the while directing puppy dog eyes at you to relent and come over.
Usually, your Tetsurou was the perfect team captain. Attentive, clever, strategical, and just the right amount of authoritarian and approachable. But with his mind stuck on questioning why you were being weird to him on his birthday, he had yet to realize that through the whole time of today’s practice all of his teammates inexplicably went missing for about 15 minutes before they either sneaked back in (the first years and some of the second years) or openly announced a little too detailed information on how, for example, the bathroom visit has been absolutely necessary and could not be postponed.
The only problem: Lev wasn’t allowed to know of the plan until a second beforehand to not accidentally spoil the surprise out of pure excitement to surprise his Kuroo-senpai.
When you see your better half starting to approach the two of you, yelling for his vice-captain and the libero simultaneously, you whisper ‘’Lev, when I say now, you have to start running okay and call for Yaku. Ask him to practice your receives as loud as you can, and take off over to the clubroom as fast as possible, alright? Also, please don’t fall, we don’t need a bloody and broken nose, Tetsu is pissed enough already. Please do it for me, okay?’’ It was a bit unfair of you to look at him hopefully like that, but as the team manager, you posessed a certain power none of the other third years had over the younger players.
Just a moment before Kuroo got the chance to grab the clueless middle blockers shirt collar, you voice out a hushed ‘’Now!’’. You immediately look up innocently to your boyfriend and finally put the warm smile on your lips that wanted to sit there since your eyes fell on him the first time this morning. ‘’Tetsu...is everything okay?’’ - ‘’Yaku-senpai, please help me with my receives!’’
‘’Lev never asks for receiving practice...’’ is…not the thing you wanted your boyfriend to say. Panicking that he might find out now, still a bit too early, you do the only thing that you know WILL take his mind off of it. You cup his cheek with your hands and pull him down to press your lips against his. 
His reaction was immediate, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you so close to him that not even a feather would fit between the two of you. Getting into the spontaneous moment, you happily loop your arms around his neck, smiling softly into the kiss. 
Yeah...you definitely had missed that.
When you break apart, he pecks your lips a few additional times for good measure before he bends down even more to bury his face in your neck, enjoying how your fingers softly stroke through and play with his hair, in all the right ways, helping him to relax for the first time in hours. ‘’Baby,…’’ he murmurs against your skin ‘’…no one is training the way they should, let’s just ditch practice. We get a cake from the bakery down the street and eat it in bed, okay?’’
For the second time today, you feel bad. Your boyfriend's voice sounds tired and that was not how a birthday boy was supposed to sound. With his face in your neck, you were able though to watch the entrance. They should come in any second now. You feel tempted to give into Tetsurou’s wishes.
Can they hurry up?! 
The thought desperately shoots through your head, because even though he was currently not paying attention to anything but recharging and breathing you in, Kuroo is way too perceptive to not get behind the ruckus going on in the gym the whole afternoon.
‘’We can cuddle later, Tetsu, I promise my whole afternoon is all for you. If you want I can even sleep over.’’ Your soothing words made his invisible cat ears prick up and listen interested. You knew that, from the moment you both enter the comfort of his home, he would drape himself over you for permanent, never-ending cuddles. The only reason for him to let go of you - unwillingly so - will be you whining about having to use the bathroom. For everything else, you would have to carry a (nearly) dead weight of the size and weight of your boyfriend everywhere.
‘’I haven’t heard Tora for a while now….’’ The raven-haired middle blocker mumbles, and your heart picks up some speed again.
Looking for words you stammer some intangible syllables, which lead Kuroo to look up, suspicion swirling in his hazel eyes. ‘’Baby…what’s wrong?’’ he asks, cocking his head to the side, watching you like a cat its prey. Quickly waving your hands in front of you, you hastily answer a ‘’Nothing.’’ And try to smile away the panic.
Before he got the chance to repeat his question and pry it out of you, the gym darkens, and you breathe out a sigh of relief. Just on time. With the door opening a little source of light illuminates his teammate's faces with his closest friends at the front. Yaku holding a cake stabbed with 18 sparklers, and Nobuyuki holding an unholy amount of the ugliest birthday ballons you had ever seen. All of them together slaughtering the happy birthday song in such a passionate manner, that you could see yourself being able to forgive them the torture they put you through in the near future. 
‘’Come one, birthday boy.’’ You say with a loving smile, and grab his hand to pull him to the rest of the group.
The moment the lights flicker back on and everyone is cheering out loud one last time. You realize belated that Kuroo (intended) and you (unintended) were besieged with confetti and glitter. (You, until this day, suspect Yamamoto who looked a bit too innocent for your taste.)
‘’All of that…for me?’’ Kuroo questions, his gorgeous eyes shining tell telling in the remaining light of the sparkles. Following his words, Kenma takes a small step forward quickly handing over a small book – filled with birthday wishes, pictures that were taken with each and all of them, inside jokes and doodles - just to move out of the spotlight again as quickly as he jumped into it. ‘’Surprise, Tetsu.’’ You say with a sweet smile, that makes him move closer to you to gift himself a taste of your lips.
Before things get to turn mushy and emotional, a chant of Cake! Cake! Cake! – started by Lev and Tora, joined by everyone, disrupts the moment the two of you had.
‘’Okay, okay! I hear the will of the people, I’ll submit to it!’’ Kuroo gives in laughing. ‘’But…’’ a theatrical moment of silence ‘’I want to cut the cake with (Y/N) together!’’ Your boyfriend proudly announces, and, to his delight, you blush furiously. Yakus laughing remark of ‘’Oi, Kuroo, this is not your wedding, you know!’’ was followed by various joking wolf whistles and some hollering. You didn’t know how you ended up being in the center of attention together with him, but when Tetsuro easily replies ’’Well, I need to perfect this skill it for the real ceremony after party one day.’’ You knew that you wouldn’t want to be somewhere else.
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queen-scribbles · 5 years ago
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Not sure if i already sent some but here goes: 7, 18, 22, 25 for the detective asks
Rolling on with all four girls ;D
7. Who is their Love Interest and why?
Haha hoo boy. That why’s gonna be fun. :D
AJ’s is Nate, because he’s sweet and charming and cares about people and his smile gives her butterflies like nobody’s business, and he loves books even more than she does and he’s so dang romantic it makes her knees weak. Also, Taller’s grand.(ngl, it’s at least 40% bc she’s the closest to me personality wise and Nate is so My Type it’s ridiculous xD)
Mallory’s is Adam because... Hell if She Knows. xD She spends the second half of book 1 through the first half of book 2 thoroughly annoyed at herself for being attracted to him and wondering if she tries hard enough, she can make the feelings go away. The answer is a resounding No.(I was planning to make her fight it a little longer, but after that Trapper fight... yeah., she’s stubborn, not stupid :P) I’ve mentioned before these two aren’t so much going to fall in love as be dragged kicking and screaming and digging in their heels. The angst and pining of watching that play out is delicious and I love it. :3
Janine’s is Felix because she loves how enthusiastic and open and fun he is. The two of them are partners in crime shenanigans and make each other forget how to talk and leap before they look and he’s so sweet and excited about them being an Us it makes her giddy(bc she feels the same) and his smile makes her forget how to breathe and he’s just so casual about complimenting her and they can have fun and be silly together as well as having each other’s backs. She’s normally more of a people person/diplomat, but when it comes to him she’s ferociously protective.
Kasey’s is Mason because he’s hot and she takes all his book 1 flirting as a challenge she’s all too happy to accept and as of book 2 she can confirm the sex is amazing *cough* I meeeaannnnn she’s also sarcastic and blunt and he’s very Her Type. Also. The Cherry Discussion at the bar. LORDY She almost didn’t let him walk away. Neither of them have realized their relationship is more than Just Sex. Kasey’s still in either denial or blissful ignorance there are actual Feelings involved. (I’m about 99% sure Mason’s caught feelings at this point and just doesn’t realize it yet. >:D) She’s gonna have one of those “Oh. Oh. OHSHIT.” moments when it finally hits her. It’ll be great.
18. What do they think of Douglas?
AJ’s kinda worried about him; between the way he doesn’t really care about anything and her glimpses at what his father’s like. She wishes she could find a way to help him that wouldn’t be.... weird or feel like it’s crossing lines coming from a superior.
Mallory’s going the “tough love” superior route; she’s more by the book/follow the rules in general, and she’s trying to enforce that with him in a way that’s not overbearing bc she thinks he could actually be a decent police officer if he just applied himself.
Janine’s like AJ, only she went to the bar and thus saved Douglas from the thralls, so she does get a chance to help bc she gets to interact with him more. She’s not really comfortable with the crush he develops, but she feels bad for his home situation, so she’s trying to balance helping him with not encouraging said crush.
Kasey... Kasey didn’t really notice or care about Douglas more than any other station employee(let him goof off on his phone etc) as long as he wasn’t making her job harder until after the thrall attack. She’s the closest to him, age-wise, so his fixation or crush or whatever is something she wants to nip in the bud ASAP. She’s dated guys only a year or two older than him(briefly, and none got serious but the precedent is there). 
22. Do they go to the bar or stay at the station?
I’ve actually played all of them multiple times, so they’ve all done both, but what I’d consider canon for them is AJ and Mallory staying in the office and Janine and Kasey going to the bar.
25. What do they usually wear? Has that changed?
AJ usually wears button-down shirt, nice jeans, and a waistcoat with her Doc Martens boots, Mallory’s t-shirt/cargo trousers/leather jacket with combat boots, Janine’s sundresses(+cardigan when it’s chilly) with flats, and Kasey’s hoodie, t-shirt, jeans with sneakers. Kasey’s the only one who sometimes changes when I run her through books 2; she ditches the hoodies on occasion for just t-shirt and jeans.   
Detective Asks
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nofeartina · 5 years ago
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Ooooooh babe since you're taking prompts!!! So I see like Isak looking annoyed as fuck and going "excuse me?" to Even and they don't know each other and like Even goes all 'who tf is this guy' and raises his eyebrows, also a bit annoyed bc /rude/, you know? AND THAT'S ALL I HAVE???? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY THEY'RE ANNOYED AND I DON'T KNOW THE SETTING??? MAYBE A PARTY??? AGSHSJAK LOVE YOU ❤
Ahhh, babe! Thanks for the prompt! I set out to write a sort of enemies to lovers, but I think it became more of a… slightly annoyed to potential lovers instead? *nervous laughter* I just can’t seem to write these two as enemies. I hope you enjoy anyway. ❤
(and a quick, but massive thanks to @irazor for looking this through :))
 “You can’t come in,” someone tall and very pretty says. Someone who apparently stands guard of the bathroom at the party they’re at.
Isak glares at him, hoists Magnus’ arm higher up over his shoulder, shifts his hip to be able to keep his hold of Magnus, leaning heavily on him.
“Excuse me?” Isak says, and gets even more annoyed when the dude, instead of answering, just raises his eyebrows, somehow managing to convey judgment on them.
Suffice to say, the conversation only deteriorates from there, until Magnus proceeds to puke all over tall & pretty (and annoying) because he didn’t reach the toilet in time.
There’s a gross kind of satisfaction in it not being Isak this time. After all, he’s wearing his new shoes and everything.
And as Tall & Pretty looks up from his puke-stained clothes to Magnus, who’s half hanging between them, to Isak, Isak can’t really hold back the smirk.
Serves T&P right for not letting them through.
–||–
Isak would like to say that the second time they talk is more successful, but that would make him a liar and he really tries not to be one.  
They’re at another party and Isak is trying to find Magnus. Mahdi and Jonas are hooking up with girls somewhere, leaving him to take care of Magnus all by himself. Again.
It’s not like he’s resentful of Magnus drinking too much or working through it or what it is he’s doing, because he gets it, gets that breaking up with Vilde wasn’t easy. Isn’t easy for him. But… maybe Magnus could find another way of dealing than getting so goddamn drunk every weekend that Isak now spends more time looking after him than looking for possible hookups.
He finds Magnus in the kitchen. Talking to T&P from the bathroom a couple of weeks ago.
T&P looks… not happy per se, more overbearing from how Magnus has his arm around his shoulder, from how he’s smiling and laughing at him. Magnus isn’t flirting, he’s just being himself. And while that’s good to see, Isak wishes he would go do that with someone else than this dude.
He steps into the kitchen hesitantly, eyes flitting between T&P and Magnus. T&P notices him first and Magnus follows quickly behind.
“Isak!” he screeches, abandons T&P to put his arms around Isak instead, and Isak takes it. Because of course he does.
“This is my new friend…” Magnus mumbles something unintelligently that tells Isak that Magnus doesn’t remember. But it makes T&P smile in a way that makes him T&Even More Pretty so Isak doesn’t complain. “Apparently we met him a few weeks ago at another party.”
“Yeah, I remember,” Isak says, sends T&EMP a look to tell him that oh boy, does he remember. He remembers him cutting them off perfectly fine.
T&EMP huffs a laugh at Isak’s look (which – rude) and stretches out his hand. “Even,” he introduces himself and Isak takes it begrudgingly, mutters his name although Magnus already said it.
He says to Magnus, “He was the one you puked on.”
Magnus’ face does this complicated thing, goes through a million different expressions before he settles for embarrassed, puts a hand over his mouth and says through his fingers, “Sorry, I’m so sorry.”
Even waves the apology off with a smile, but Isak isn’t gonna let him put all the blame on Magnus.
“Well. Even could’ve just let us in when we were coming. He was refusing us access.”
Even looks at him, smile still on his face but eyes full of challenge.
“We were smoking up back there, didn’t know what you would do if you found out.”
“I’m not the police, dude. I even told you my friend was about to barf.”
“So you think it was my fault?”
Isak shrugs. Ignores what Even’s incredulous laugh does to him, how his stomach flutters and his body heats up. God, he really is pretty.
But he doesn’t want Even to win this just by being good looking, getting puked on was his own goddamn fault and if Isak has to spend the rest of the night convincing Even about it, he will.
He does, although not as successfully as he would’ve liked. Still, it’s got to count for something.
–||–
“If I sit down next to you, are you gonna shout at me again?” Even says, surprising Isak in the middle of his daydream on the bench.
He looks up at Even (up and up and up, fuck he’s tall), caught off guard. He’s not quite sure what to say, so a startled, “Probably not,” is what comes out.
But it makes Even smile, so at least there’s that.
“I feel like we got off on the wrong foot,” he says and sits down next to Isak like it’s nothing. Like Isak’s heart isn’t stuck somewhere in his throat making it hard for him to speak.
“Okay?”
Isak doesn’t really mean for it to become a question, it just sorta becomes that on its own volition.
“I’m sorry I didn’t let you into the bathroom when you needed to,” Even says, those blue eyes sparkling at him (honestly, who even has sparkling eyes, why is Isak noticing it, this is getting ridiculous).
Isak grumbles a bit for good measure, then says, reluctantly, “Well. I guess I’m sorry that Magnus puked on you.”
Even laughs. “Wow. Such a heartfelt excuse. Thank you for your sincerity.”
Despite himself, the corners of Isak’s mouth pulls up and he looks down to hide his grin.
“Fuck off.”
“Ah yes, there he is,” Even teases and pushes Isak playfully with his elbow.
Isak gives up on trying to hide his smile, instead looks up at Even, watches his eyebrows raise, teasingly, as if to let Isak know that he sees his smile. That he knows that Isak’s charmed.
Isak would roll his eyes, he would, but he just… doesn’t. Not when Even’s sitting so close, looking like he has all the time in the world and there’s a possibility that Isak might get to know him a bit.
Which, in all honesty, Isak has been dying to.
Before Isak can start worrying about what to say, Even reaches behind his ear, pulls out a big fat joint and says, “You wanna?”
Isak nods.
It’s easier to talk while you have something to do. And it’s especially easy to talk when you’re talking to Even, Isak notices. Even is interesting, has these opinions that Isak just wants to know more of, goes off on tangents that seem to embarrass him, but only makes him seem even more endearing to Isak.
Isak notices how Even flushes, how the weed dilates his pupils and makes him lick his lips until it feels like there’s nothing in the world but this. But him.
Isak could stare at him all day.
Even must notice, or maybe he’s feeling it too, because his eyes linger at Isak’s lips as well and he doesn’t really seem to stop smiling, sitting on this bench next to Isak. As if Isak makes him happy too.
And isn’t that a thought worth having?
Isak isn’t sure how much time that passes, he just knows that the joint was put out long ago and it’s starting to get darker, or as dark as it gets this time of year, when Even pulls his jacket tighter around him.
“I’m gonna head back,” he says, looking cold, but still lovely as hell. Isak doesn’t want him to go but doesn’t really have anything to offer to keep him there.
“Okay,” he says, watches Even get up from the bench. But instead of leaving with a quick goodbye, he pauses.
“We should do this again,” he says, voice a bit less steady than it was minutes ago and it makes Isak braver than normal.
“Yeah. Maybe next time we could get a cup of coffee?”
Even looks down through his lashes at him, hands buried deep in his pockets and even though the light is low Isak still notices the flush on his cheeks.
“Yeah?” Even asks, smile spreading over his face while his eyes slide over Isak’s, then, “Like a date?”
Isak huffs out a laugh, shy but endlessly pleased. He takes in Even standing there, waiting for his answer, looking so much less unattainable than he was mere hours ago. And it makes it easy for Isak to answer.
“Yeah. Like a date.”
The way Even’s body relaxes, how it makes him loose around the shoulders and neck, suddenly much less graceful, but the more attractive for it, makes Isak feel giddy with anticipation. With this feeling that this could become so much more, if they let it.
“Okay,” Even says. Like it’s that easy, like this was what he’s wanted from the start. He starts walking backwards, adds, “See you later, Isak,” before he turns around.
Isak’s gaze follows him as he leaves, follows him until he turns a corner and can’t be seen anymore.
Yeah. Isak can’t wait to see what this could become.
101 notes · View notes
serenlyss · 6 years ago
Text
Linger
Rating: T (psychological trauma, heavy topics, vomit) Pairings: Terumob Summary:  Shigeo knows that something about him has changed, and not in a good way. He knows when his fingers start to itch, when he's sweating in a cold room, when he sometimes loses the ability to breathe right. He just can't figure out why, or how to fix it. After a week, he finally decides to ask for help. Crossposted to AO3: Linger
This ended up being really long but,, oh well. This is based wholly off the line in the anime where Mogami says the experience will be forever etched in his heart, an exploration of what kind of aftermath that kind of event could have on someone if it was the main focus of the story. I also just really wanted to write some considerate/caring Teru bc he's one of my favorite characters and I love him. Hope you enjoy! This was beta read by @thedeadgodlives, thanks a bunch for your help!
Shigeo’s pencil scratches against the lined paper of his notebook, working out a difficult math problem his teacher had assigned to him the previous school day. His head is leaning on his open hand, fingers digging into his hair and pressing against his scalp as though it will help him think easier. He hums to himself, pausing as he reaches a point in the problem where he can no longer remember the steps to solving it.
He’s never been good at math, but even after years of struggling the nervousness and fear of failure never gets any better. He rolls his pencil between his fingers restlessly, tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth as he fights to remember his teacher’s instructions. It’s no use, he laments after a moment. He’ll have to search his textbook later for the directions. He hopes his teacher doesn’t call on him in class; he’d surely make a fool of himself in front of his classmates.
The fingers holding his pencil tingle, and he pauses in his fiddling. The sensation is familiar to him now, but he still can’t figure out where it’s coming from or why it’s happening. The tingle grows into an incessant itch until he can no longer ignore it. He sets down his pencil, rubbing his fingers together in an attempt to make the itch go away, but it isn’t working. It never has, not since he first started experiencing the itching a week ago. He scratches at his fingers with the nail on his thumb, frowning at his itchy fingers disapprovingly.
Shaking his head, Shigeo returns to his homework, but his focus has been broken. The itch in his hand multiplies and spreads to his other hand, which twitches against his scalp in response. He straightens up in his seat, pressing both hands palm-down on his desk. The sensation lingers in his fingertips, but no matter how he scratches them, the itch doesn’t go away. It’s distracting and annoying, and it’s keeping him from doing his work.
With a disgruntled huff of breath, he pushes himself to his feet and slips out of his tidy bedroom, heading for the bathroom at the end of the hall. He runs the tap hot and lets his hands hover beneath the stream of water, washing away the sickening sensation that clings to them. He leaves them there until the heat of the water becomes too much for him to handle, hissing out a pained breath as he feels his skin scald. He quickly jerks them back, turning the water off and drying his hands on the bathroom towel. He looks up at his reflection in the mirror. He’s paler than usual, he notices, and there’s sweat beading on his brow despite the comfortable temperature of his house. He scrubs it away with the towel, taking deep breaths to calm his nerves. When had his heart started beating so quickly? He swallows down the lump in his throat, carefully folding and replacing the towel as though it had never been touched at all.
He’s not sure what’s wrong with him, exactly, but he recognizes that it probably isn’t supposed to be happening. He doesn’t like to dwell on it, because then his thoughts start to race to places where he can’t control them, places where he’s still trapped in Mogami’s mindscape, fighting for his life in a completely different way than he’s grown accustomed to.
But he isn’t there anymore. He’s home, he’s safe, it’s over.
He repeats the thoughts in his head like a mantra. You’re home, you’re safe, it’s over. The tingling in his fingers is gone, and his heartbeat goes back to it’s regular speed. He feels like he could probably fall asleep now despite the fact that it’s the middle of the day. He still has homework to finish, though, so he returns to his desk and slips back into his chair.
As he attempts the math problem once more, he wonders if his classmates are struggling with the concepts as much as he is. His tongue feels dry. If he keeps making a fool of himself in class, they’ll keep pushing him around, calling him stupid and useless and spilling things on him. They might even try to hurt him, if they’re feeling particularly cruel that day, and he has no way of defending himself without his-
He lets out a gasp, shaking his head. His classmates had never done such things to him. They mostly ignore him, or at best, tolerate his presence. Sure, they laugh when he’s unable to answer the teacher’s question, but they’ve never done anything outright cruel to him, at least not to his face.
His head hurts. He scrubs at his face with both hands, groaning softly. His head feels foggy and his mind is racing, trying to reconcile two polarizing images of the same group of people he’s known since he was in grade school. It isn’t the first time he’s confused himself with conflicting memories, and every time it never fails to give him a splitting headache. He needs painkillers, and something to distract him from his unsettling thoughts.
His hand moves to pick up his phone as if on instinct, and before he knows it he’s opening up his text app in search of someone to reach out to. He pauses, fingers hovering over the keys. Hesitating. Reigen always gives good advice in times like these, but he’ll pry in deeper than Shigeo is willing to divulge. Ritsu, maybe? No, he’s still at school at this time, talking with the student council. He’s not sure Ritsu would be very good at taking his mind off of things, anyway.
Letting out a breath he hadn’t realized he’s holding, Shigeo punches in Hanazawa Teruki’s contact. Yes, Teru would know what to do to take his mind off of things. He sends a quick, simple message: “Hello, Hanazawa. Are you busy?”
He keeps his messages brief and polite, refraining from using phrases that may come across as too friendly or overbearing. Teru’s never been one to take the professional route, though, and his reply comes a minute later.
“Hey, Kageyama! :D Ah, you could say so. I’m working on some homework for a class. Why, did you need something?”
A small smile comes to Shigeo’s face. Teru’s friendly tone is easy to respond to, and the emojis he always includes are an easy way for Shigeo to deduce how he’s feeling. Not to mention, they’re quite cute. “Ah, sorry to bother you, then. I was just wondering if you had time to hang out, but if you’re busy, then I understand,” he types in response, curt and apologetic.
“Don’t apologize! I should really take a break anyway,” Reads Teru’s text. “I’d love to hang out, actually! :) If you have some homework, why don’t we work on it together? You can come over to my place and keep me company.”
Shigeo’s gaze flicks to his half-filled notebook page. “Are you good at math?” he asks.
Teru’s reply is immediate. “I do well enough. I can help you with it if you like, as long as you help me with my japanese in return.”
Shigeo’s fairly confident that he can at least help a little bit when it comes to Japanese, so he agrees quickly to the arrangement and tells Teru that he’ll be over shortly. He packs up his school supplies and changes out of his uniform, trading his black slacks and jacket for a tee-shirt and jeans. He leaves his room and heads downstairs to walk over to the train station, bidding his mother goodbye with a promise to stay safe on his way.
The trip is quick and easy, nothing eventful getting in his way as he turns toward Teru’s apartment from the station. He’s only been there a handful of times, including the few hours he’s spent resting there after Ritsu was kidnapped by Claw, but he’s memorized the stop he needs to exit from and the route he takes to arrive at Teru’s front door.
Teru’s quick to answer when Shigeo knocks softly, greeting him with a smile and a wave. “Hi, Kageyama. Come on in and have a seat,” he says, stepping aside and holding the door open for Shigeo to move past him.
“Thanks for having me,” he says politely, slipping off his shoes and leaving them by the door like he always does when he comes over. He makes his way over to Teru’s living room, where his friend has already taken up shop to work on his own homework. There’s a textbook open on the coffee table beside his workbook, and an empty mug with the last dregs of a sweet-smelling tea in it. Shigeo sits down on the couch while Teru steeps another batch of the tea, a common routine for the two of them when they study together. He pulls his notebook out of his backpack and sets it up beside Teru’s, fetching a pencil from a side pocket to write with.
Teru joins him shortly after, a steaming cup in each hand, and sets one in front of Shigeo.
“Ah, thank you,” Shigeo murmurs, taking a tentative sip of the hot drink.
Teru flashes him a smile and plops down next to him, leaving just a few inches of space between them for their arms to move. Teru has always been the kind of person who likes to casually touch his friends, as far as Shigeo can tell, quick to guide him with a hand on his back or a congratulatory squeeze of his shoulder. He doesn’t flinch when their arms brush or their hands touch accidentally, and he’s quick to loop an arm around his shoulders or lean against him when he’s feeling tired. Shigeo doesn’t mind the constant contact, and Teru seems appreciative of his receptiveness, so when he lays an arm across the back of the couch behind Shigeo’s shoulders, he doesn’t react or draw attention to it. Instead he focuses on his math work, determined to solve the problem he’s stuck on.
Teru’s quick to jump in and help him, praising him for what he’s done correctly and gently pointing out his mistakes. Teru isn’t at all like his teachers or classmates, Shigeo realizes as he listens to Teru’s instructions. He moves at a pace Shigeo can easily keep up with and doesn’t berate him for not understanding right away, and he’s endlessly grateful for his friend’s innate understanding of him.
“Thank you, Hanazawa, this all makes much more sense now,” Shigeo says once they’ve gone through a few problems together. He turns to smile at Teru, setting down his pencil and letting his hands fall to his sides.
Teru’s face goes slightly pink, but the pleased smile on his face shows his gratitude at Shigeo’s words. “Anytime, Kageyama. There’s no better way to learn than by teaching someone else. At least, that’s what my math teacher always says,” he replies, reaching up with one hand to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear.
His hair is getting longer again, Shigeo notices. He hums, thoughtful, and reaches out with a hand to brush aside a strand that’s fallen into Teru’s eyes. His fingers graze Teru’s temple as he does, feeling an annoying little zap at the miniscule contact. It’s not enough to make him flinch, but it’s noticeable nonetheless.
Teru doesn’t move away from his touch, but the blush on his cheeks darkens some, and he glances away in an almost embarrassed fashion. “Ah, it’s getting a bit long, isn’t it? I cut it short after our fight, but I’ve been growing it out since then. I kinda miss wearing it long,” he says, rambling a bit, but Shigeo doesn’t mind. Teru’s always been more of a talker than he is.
“It looks nice,” Shigeo compliments, letting his hand fall back to the couch again. He turns his attention back toward his homework, nearly finished now, as Teru falls quiet.
The other boy doesn’t respond, going back to his own work, but a moment later Shigeo feels bold fingers brush against the hand that rests between them, cautiously slotting themselves between his own.
The touch burns like fire almost immediately, seeping into his skin with jolts of white-hot electricity that stab up his arm and make his mind scream, Don’t touch me!
He rips his hand away with a pained gasp, holding it against his chest. The searing heat continues to spread, making his arms quiver against his control and causing his stomach to turn. He feels queasy and hot as the burn spreads to his head and he breaks into a sweat.
“I-I’m sorry,” Teru stammers, quickly retracting his hand. Shigeo’s head jerks to look at him. He looks incredibly guilty and a little mortified, actively leaning out of Shigeo’s space when he normally would lean in. “I just thought - I mean, it seemed like - ugh, what did I do?” He tears his gaze away, clasping his hands together as if to punish them for wandering.
Shigeo opens his mouth to reassure his friend that it’s alright, it’s not his fault, that there’s something wrong with himself that had caused a misunderstanding, but the words die in his throat. His tongue feels thick and dry, his throat thinner and hoarser with each passing second. He feels like he’s going to vomit.
He stands up in a hurry and makes a beeline for Teru’s bathroom, pushing the door shut behind him as he struggles to take a meaningful breath. His fingers burn terribly, the sensation making his stomach roll. He gags on his own choppy gasps, bracing his hands on the marble countertop around the sink and leaning over it in case he really does throw up. He feels like his heart is about to leap out of his chest, and his lungs burn, as though there’s no oxygen in the air to replenish them. His face is pale and he’s begun sweating profusely, his forehead damp and cold to the touch. With a start he realizes that he’s crying, tears rolling down his cheeks and falling into the sink. His knees wobble, and his stomach does another nauseating flip. He barely manages to fall to his knees in front of the toilet before he’s heaving up the contents of that day’s breakfast and lunch into it.
There’s a knock at the door. “Kageyama? Are you alright?” Teru asks from behind the door, voice thick with concern.
Shigeo’s voice continues to evade him, stomach heaving once more, but there’s nothing left to throw up. He gags, squeezing his eyes shut.
“I’m coming in,” Teru warns. Shigeo hasn’t locked the door behind him, and it swings open with urgency. In a second Teru is at his side, a steady hand on his back. “Kageyama! You look terrible, what happened?” he frets, reaching across Shigeo’s back to tear a strip of toilet paper from the roll. He holds it out to him.
Shigeo draws in a shuddering breath, his shaky hands grasping the toilet’s rim so tightly his knuckles have gone white. After a moment he detaches one hand from it and takes the wad of paper from Teru’s outstretched hand, opening his eyes. His vision is fuzzy, black spots dancing at his periphery. Am I going to faint? he wonders with a flash of fear. He manages to wipe the edges of his mouth with the toilet paper, but his breath tastes like bile and his head feels like it’s going to burst. “Teru, I-I think I’m really sick,” he manages to choke out, voice shaky to the point of unintelligibility and thick with misery.
Teru takes the paper from Shigeo’s hand and drops it in the toilet, flushing away the evidence. Then he grasps him firmly by both shoulders and turns him so they’re facing each other. “You’re not sick, you’re panicking,” he says, reaching up with one hand to push Shigeo’s sweat-slicked bangs out of his face. His eyes flicker back and forth across Shigeo’s face, brows furrowed in unhidden concern. “You’re hyperventilating,” he realizes worriedly, biting his lower lip. “Try breathing with me, okay? In, and out…” Odd. Shigeo doesn’t feel like he’s breathing at all.
Teru holds his gaze as he repeats himself, over and over, and Shigeo fights to match his tempo. Teru’s thumb presses against the front of his shoulder and rubs small circles just beneath his collarbone, offering some sort of stimulation to distract him from his racing thoughts. Shigeo clasps his hands over his knees and digs his fingers in, the sensation keeping his vision from fuzzing out entirely.
He isn’t sure how long the two of them sit on the cold tile floor for, Teru murmuring words of reassurance to Shigeo as he fights to control his rapid breathing, but eventually the dark spots fade and the throbbing in his head goes down enough to let him think again. His face is slick from sweat, but his hands have stopped burning, a faint tingle all that remains.
Teru stands up and releases his hold on Shigeo, wetting a rag with cold water from the tap above them. Shigeo’s breathing stalls for a split second at the loss of contact before starting back up again, unsure what to do until Teru kneels in front of him again and presses the cold cloth to his face. The sting of it shocks Shigeo to his senses, his hands twitching involuntarily. “Cold,” he gasps.
Teru chuckles, using the wet rag to mop away the sweat that clings to Shigeo’s forehead. “It’ll make you feel better,” he assures, holding the cloth against the back of his neck.
Shigeo lets out a breathy sigh as the rag cools his overheated face and neck and makes him feel overall a little less sticky and gross. “Thank you,” he murmurs.
“It’s no problem. I, uh, know what it feels like,” Teru admits with a smile, and it’s so soft and sincere and caring that Shigeo almost does a double-take. “Still, you gave me a scare. What happened?”
Shigeo glances down, focusing on the fading coldness on the back of his neck. He doesn’t answer, but not because he doesn’t want to tell Teru what’s been going on. He simply doesn’t know how to put his feelings into words.
Thankfully, Teru seems to pick up on his thoughts. “Well, there’s no need to force yourself,” he says, removing the rag from Shigeo’s neck and setting it on the bathroom counter. He pushes himself to his feet. “Do you want to use my shower? It always helps me to feel better when I’m feeling overwhelmed, plus it’s good for thinking. I’ll lend you something clean to wear, too, so you don’t have to stay in those sweaty clothes.” He extends a hand out for Shigeo to take, then his smile falters and he appears to think better of it. He swallows visibly, curling his arm up toward his chest as a form of recoil. Shigeo doesn’t blame him, after the way he’d reacted to the last time they’d touched hands.
Shigeo tears his gaze away from Teru’s hand and looks down at himself as Teru mentions his clothes, flinching at his bedraggled appearance. There’s sweat stains in the pits of his white tee-shirt and, horrifyingly, a few spots of vomit that hadn’t quite hit the mark. He bites back what he wants to say, an instinctive reassurance that he’s fine and doesn’t need to be taken care of anymore, and instead just nods his head. “That sounds like a good idea,” he sighs.
“Great. I’ll grab you a change of clothes, then, and a fresh towel,” Teru says, pretending his little misstep hadn’t occurred at all. “You can use my shampoo and stuff if you want, I doubt you’ll use as much as I always do.” He laughs at his own words, turning to the door, but it comes across nervous. “Be right back,” he adds as an afterthought, pulling the door half-shut behind him to offer some semblance of privacy.
Shigeo takes a deep breath and hauls himself to his feet, using the edge of the counter as leverage. He still feels a bit shaky on his feet, but as least he doesn’t feel like he’s going to keel over and pass out anymore. He runs the tap water cold, scrubbing his hands briefly with Teru’s citrusy soap, and feels the last remnants of the burning sensation disappear as the water washes them away. He lets out a breath of relief at the return to semi-normalcy, though he’s still pale and a little uncertain on his feet. He splashes some of the cold water on his face for good measure before turning off the tap.
Teru returns, silently pushing open the bathroom door, as Mob is drying his face. He has a fluffy gray towel draped over his arm, along with the promised change of clothes. “These should fit you, I hope,” he says, setting them in a neat pile atop the kitchen counter. Then he holds the towel out to Shigeo. “Here, you can use this. Just hang it up on the hook once you’re finished so it can dry.” He nods his head toward the hook that protrudes from the inside of the bathroom door.
Shigeo manages a small smile, accepting the towel from Teru’s outstretched hand. “Of course. Thanks again, Hanazawa,” he says. “I’ll make it up to you soon.”
“Don’t worry about things like that. We’re friends, so there’s no need to keep track of favors,” Teru assures with a wave of his hand. He steps out of the bathroom to give Shigeo some space. “I’m going to work on some more homework while you shower, so just come find me when you’re done, okay?”
Shigeo nods in agreement and Teru closes the door behind him with a parting smile, leaving Shigeo alone with the shower.
He takes advantage of Teru’s offer to use his shampoo, scrubbing the salty sweat from his hair and filling the misty air with the scent of Teru’s fruity hair products. He pushes his bangs away with his fingers and cranes his neck back, letting the warm water pelt his face and return color to his cheeks. He takes deep breaths, letting his thoughts wander. He obviously owes Teru an explanation for his unexpected outburst, but he still isn’t entirely sure what had caused it. He glances down at his hands, curling and uncurling his fingers. Ever since his encounter with Mogami, he hasn’t been able to touch anyone else without feeling like he’s been scorched by an open flame. His hands had it the worst, he’d determined. That’s not even counting the times he’s found himself staring at the throats of his classmates, his mind flashing back to the student he’d nearly asphyxiated in Mogami’s monochromatic world.
Taking a breath, Shigeo lifts a hand and lightly covers his own throat. He can distinctly remember the feeling of Teru’s fingers digging into his flesh, squeezing until no air could pass in or out. His touch had left no bruises at the time, Shigeo’s body hyper-durable as a result of his psychic powers, but the memory is still there. He’d long forgiven Teru for their fight, to the point where he hardly thought back on the event anymore, at least before Mogami. Since then the thought has come up more and more often, as he recalls his imaginary classmate’s terrified eyes and gasping breaths. Did I sound like that, when Teru attacked me? he wonders, frowning.
Teru… he’d have to apologize properly for the way he’d reacted. In truth, he’d kind of wanted to hold his hand. He’d been curious about it for a while now, actually, since the two of them had infiltrated and subsequently escaped the Claw 7th division headquarters and Teru had proven himself to be a loyal and dependable friend. He caught himself staring, sometimes, at Teru’s face, at his back, his hands, a quiet curiosity he wasn’t bold enough to act on, but that was always there. What would Teru do if he decided to hug him, or reach for his hand? Would he even be able to without feeling the fire burning him?
He turns off the water after several minutes of simply standing under the hot spray, toweling himself off. He slips into Teru’s lent clothes, a soft pink sweater and comfortable gray sweats, chuckling softly. Even now, Teru was trying his best to take care of him. He appreciates his friend’s experience and comforting presence, but he knows he has a hard conversation ahead of him. He uses the towel to soak up the extra water from his hair until it’s damp instead of dripping, then hangs it up on the hook behind the door to dry. Then he cracks open the bathroom door and slips outside, leaving it open to ventilate the mist.
When he pads, barefoot, out of the bathroom, he spots Teru sitting back on the couch, staring at his open notebook. He’s not holding a pencil, though, and his leg bounces restlessly. He looks up as Shigeo exits. “Ah, you’re finished. Do you feel better now?” he asks with that familiar soft smile.
Shigeo swallows and nods, already feeling his nervousness bubbling up as he crosses the room to take his seat beside Teru once again. “Yes, thank you. I’m sorry for troubling you,” he replies.
Teru shakes his head. “It isn’t your fault. You had a panic attack, and a pretty bad one at that. Those things are out of our control.”
Shigeo clasps his hands together. “So, you get them, too?” he asks softly.
“Sometimes.” Teru looks down at his empty tea mug. “I’ve learned how to cope with them, to an extent. Have you had one before?”
Shigeo hums, then nods, remembering how he’d felt the burning in his fingers just that afternoon. At the time he hadn’t been able to place what was wrong, but it fit in hindsight, now that Teru had explained it to him. “Never as bad as that, but sometimes my hands get really hot and shaky, and I get pale and sweaty, and it’s hard to breath for a while. When that happens, I always wash my hands with hot water and it goes away. This time was… the worst one, so far,” he admits. “I’m sorry I reacted so badly to you touching me.”
Teru chokes on a nervous chuckle, which turns into a brief cough. He clears his throat into his hand. “Ah, I shouldn’t have done that without permission. It was just an urge, I suppose. You obviously didn’t like it though, so I won’t do it again, I promise,” he says, but he can’t stop the hints of disappointment that come through as he speaks.
Shigeo shakes his head quickly. “No, I didn’t dislike it,” he assures. “I normally don’t mind when you touch me, I even like it most of the time. I just haven’t really… been myself lately, I suppose.” He unclasps his fingers and stares down at his open palms, frowning. “When you touched my hand, it felt like it was burning. Other times, when I’ve felt panicked, my hands will start itching until I can’t take it anymore. Like when a mosquito bites you, but far worse. It’s only my hands, too. When Master grabs my shoulder or something like that, it doesn’t have the same effect.”
Teru looks concerned to hear this, but there’s some relief in his face too, that Shigeo hasn’t completely rejected his touch. “When did this start happening?” he asks.
“It’s been about a week,” Shigeo admits softly. He fiddles with the soft edge of  his borrowed sweater to give his hands something to do. “Ever since I defeated Mogami Keiji.”
Teru’s eyes widen at the name; Shigeo’s told him about Mogami’s psychic powers and the world he’d lived in for six months, but at the time he’d played it off as something that was over, finished. As it would appear, it isn’t over at all. “Did something happen in there that’s making you panic? A bad experience, or something he said to you?” His voice is edging on protective, Shigeo realizes, and the thought is oddly comforting. What isn’t comforting, however, is the realization that he’ll have to describe what he’d done.
He falls quiet for several seconds, but Teru is patient, and doesn’t push him for answers before he’s ready. Shigeo is grateful. Teru is trustworthy, he knows, and he’s sure that he won’t think any less of him for something that technically never really happened, but that doesn’t keep the doubts from coming. Shigeo can feel his headache resurfacing as he struggles to tell himself that, yeah, it wasn’t something he’d actually done with his own two hands. His body had been in Reigen and Dimple’s care at the time, but in the moment it had felt very real. “I think I almost killed someone, in Mogami’s dream land,” he confesses, the words heavy on his tongue. “They were bullying me, telling me I was stupid and worthless and terrible. I just felt so angry.” He pauses to take a breath, trying not to ramble, but the words don’t stop coming. “I know it wasn’t a real place, and I was being influenced by an evil spirit, but those are still choices that I made, I think. Sometimes my memories from that world bleed out into this one and I catch myself being scared of my classmates, wondering when they’re going to beat me up next or what horrible things they’re saying when I’m not around. To be honest, I-I can’t tell my real memories apart from the ones Mogami created for me. My heart knows what’s real, but my head gets all fuzzy and my memories get all jumbled up and then I get a really bad headache and nothing gets solved at all.”
As if on cue, Shigeo feels his head throb painfully, and he stifles a pained noise, wincing.
“Sounds like you’ve had a rough time,” Teru says, but there’s an uncertainty to his voice that says he really has no idea what Shigeo’s talking about. He stands up and moves into the kitchen, rifling around in one of the cabinets. Shigeo doesn’t blame him for not understanding. He doubts many others have had an experience like he has, and if they had, they likely hadn’t lived through it.
“I had thought it was over,” he sighs, pausing as his head gives another painful throb. “It’s been a week, Hanazawa. I feel like it should be in the past now.” He leans his forehead into one hand, the other falling limp on his lap, palm skyward.
Teru returns, pressing a bottle into Shigeo’s free hand. He’s careful not to let their skin touch, which Shigeo is simultaneously grateful and disappointed about. He doesn’t want Teru to distance himself over something that shouldn’t even be happening, but, well, he wasn’t left with much of a choice. Teru sets a cup of water on the table in front of him and says, “Take two.”
Shigeo blinks, glancing at the label on the bottle. Painkillers. Relieved, he untwists the bottle’s cap and shakes two bright red pills out of it, setting it aside and picking up the cup. He downs both pills with one swig of water. “Thank you, I think I needed that,” he sighs.
Teru hums to show he’s heard, but he’s deep in thought. “I’m no therapist, Kageyama, but I think what you experienced classifies as trauma, maybe even PTSD,” he says after a moment of quiet. “It’s obviously had a prolonged effect on your body, and your mind. That kind of thing can cause panic attacks like the one you had. To be honest, I’m not sure there's much I can do to help you with that.”
Shigeo sighs, slumping over in his seat. “I don’t know where else to go,” he says softly. “I know there’s something wrong with me, and that I should probably see a doctor, or-or a therapist, but what am I supposed to tell them that won’t make me sound like I’ve gone insane?” He pauses, takes a moment to breath before things get out of control again. “I think, if I can create a divide between what’s real and what happened in my dream, some of these symptoms will go away, but I don’t know how to do that by myself.”
Teru leans back in his seat, worrying his lip between his teeth for a moment. Then he blinks, eyes bright, and sits straight up again. “Why don’t we make a game out of it?” he suggests. “Tell me something that happened, it doesn’t matter where the memory comes from. I’ll tell you if it’s real or not.” He grins at the idea, looking quite pleased with it.
Shigeo blinks. Could that really work? “What about the things I never told you about?” he asks. He and Teru talk often, whether it’s in person or via text, but there’s no way Teru will be able to dissect all his jumbled memories.
“Well, I’ll just have to admit defeat at that point, then,” Teru replies with a shrug, “but I think it’s worth a shot, if you’re willing to give it a try.”
Shigeo hums, mulling it over. It couldn’t hurt, as far as he can imagine. “Okay, let’s try it,” he agrees. He combs through his recent memories, searching for something he knows is true. “Um… I tried to run for student council once, but when it was time for me to speak, I didn’t say anything,” he begins.
“That’s true,” Teru says immediately. “That was when Emi asked you out.”
Shigeo smiles; it kind of feels like a quiz show. “Alright. I once exorcised a group of over fifteen bikers and their gang boss.”
“True,” Teru repeats. “You exorcised a huge evil spirit there too, right?”
Shigeo nods, chuckling softly. “It was big, but it wasn’t very strong,” he confirms. “Okay, next one, then… Sometimes, my classmates like to hit me for fun.”
Teru’s smile falters at this, obviously put off a bit by the morbid tone, but plays along for the sake of the game. “No, that’s false. Your classmates mostly don’t pay attention to you at all.”
Shigeo lets out a relieved breath. “Yeah, that’s what I thought,” he says. Logically, he’d always known the difference between Mogami’s harsh reality and his own privileged life, but something within him felt validated that someone else could also make the distinction. “Why don’t you do one, Hanazawa?”
“Me?” Teru echoes in surprise. “Hmm, I guess I can try to trick you with a lie.” He taps his chin with one finger, searching for something to say. “When I was a kid, I used to look for coins on the school playground and collect them in a little jar.”
Shigeo’s face splits into a smile. “Ah, I remember you talking about that. It’s true,” he says. “Okay, my turn. When my brother sees me in trouble, he sometimes avoids getting involved to protect himself.”
Teru shakes his head. “No way, Ritsu is way too protective of you to ever do that,” he says. “False.” He fixes Shigeo with his dark blue gaze, growing more confident in his answers. “I broke off my connection to Blake Vinegar’s gang after you beat me in a fight,” he says, leaning forward in his seat.
Shigeo nods. “It was one of the first things you did.”
Teru’s eyebrows raise and he sports a devious grin. “Oh? Who says I’m not still controlling them from the shadows?” he challenges.
Shigeo doesn’t answer, but after a moment they both devolve into fits of uncontrollable giggling. It’s good to know that they can joke about those days without feeling like it’s bringing up bad memories. Rather, the incident merely marks the start of their friendship. “I can’t imagine you doing things like that now,” he says. “You’ve changed a lot, Hanazawa.”
Teru’s laughter turns more self-conscious at Shigeo’s compliment, but he’s clearly pleased to be told so. “Yeah? I’m glad. You’ve changed quite a bit yourself, Kageyama. In a good way,” he replies, and the pink flush is back.
Shigeo finds himself staring at it, somewhat distracted. “True or false,” he begins, voice softening. “You and I are friends in both worlds.”
Teru blinks. “I don’t know,” he replies, “but we’re definitely friends in this one, so that’s what’s important.”
Shigeo nods, accepting this. He shifts a touch closer to Teru, fiddling with the fingers on one of his hands. His leg and Teru’s are nearly touching. “You and I broke into the Claw 7th Division headquarters after Ritsu was kidnapped.”
“That’s true,” Teru replies, glancing at Shigeo curiously. He’s noticed the way Shigeo is inching closer, as though he has a purpose behind wanting to be so close.
He reaches out and brushes the back of his knuckles against the side of Teru’s hand experimentally, catching the hitch in Teru’s breathing when they make contact. Unpleasant sparks poke at his skin where it touches Teru’s, and he draws back quickly, thoughtful. Teru has his eyes fixed on him, concerned but curious.  He continues, “Sometimes I come to your school to walk you to my apartment for our study sessions.”
Shigeo nods. His reaches out again, this time touching with the pads of his fingers. He lets the touch linger, and Teru doesn’t move, frozen in place. Shigeo draws a sharp breath, wincing. Electric shocks sting his fingertips, but the heat is bearable for a few seconds before he feels like he needs to retreat. When he finally does, he says, “That’s true.”
“Yeah, it is,” Teru agrees, breathless. Shigeo stares at his fingers, eyebrows furrowed, and catches Teru turn over his hand in his periphery, his palm facing toward the ceiling. “Once, I even went back to your house, and we did homework in your room instead. Your mom wouldn’t leave us alone, and kept asking if we wanted snacks.”
Shigeo cracks a smile at this, and when his hand ventures out this time, he presses his palm against Teru’s and just lets them rest on top of each other. He tenses, hot needles poking into the surface of his palm. He curls his fingers around Teru’s hand and squeezes it, willing the sensation to disappear. I control my own life, he reminds himself firmly, and doesn’t let go despite the occasional stab of discomfort in his palm. He feels the heat spread upward, sweat beading at his hairline, but he doesn’t feel like he’s panicking, so he doesn’t let go.
Teru shifts his grip, emboldened, and slots their fingers together.
Shigeo stumbles over his breath, eyes widening. The motion feels like two strips of sandpaper rubbing together, chafing him. Teru jolts, moving to disconnect their hands, but Shigeo stops him before he can go through with it, squeezing his hand tightly to prevent him from moving too far away.
He flinches as the burning sensation begins, crawling from his fingertips up his arm. “It hurts,” he grunts through clenched teeth, but he maintains his grip on Teru’s hand despite the way Teru moves once more to break the contact. He looks up and meets Teru’s dark blue gaze. “Wait, just a bit longer.”
Teru stares at him, fear and uncertainty in his gaze, but doesn’t force him to let go, just squeezes his hand back in an attempt to reassure him that all will be well. “I stole you away from a date so you could break up your little brother’s fight after he discovered his psychic powers,” he says, watching Shigeo carefully.
The boy chuckles under his breath, beads of sweat rolling down his forehead. He’s thankful that Teru can still find ways to lighten the mood, even though he’s clearly just as distraught as Shigeo is. “It wasn’t a date, I’ve told you that before,” he insists, calming some.
Eventually, thankfully, the burning sensation reaches a peak and then begins to wane. Shigeo feels the heat in his face go down with his timed breathing, and he relaxes the iron grip he’d been holding Teru’s hand with. He doesn’t let go, though, feeling the itchy tingles and occasional stabs of discomfort lingering. “Are you okay?” Teru asks, worried.
Shigeo nods, giving his hand a little squeeze and smiling at the little noise of surprise Teru makes. He coughs into his hand, though it doesn’t sound very convincing. “How do you feel?” he says after a moment.
Shigeo’s eyelids droop, but he continues to cradle Teru’s hand in his; his skin is soft and the way he holds his hand is endearingly gentle. “Itchy, but otherwise okay. I think it’s going away, for now,” he says, rubbing his thumb experimentally against Teru’s. Without warning, he drops his head to Teru’s shoulder, sighing out sofly, “Your hand is warm.”
Teru jumps slightly at the contact, but quickly relaxes into Shigeo’s touch the way he always does. “Good warm or bad warm?” he asks lamely, all his usual flirtatiousness and bravado and confidence blown out the window by one unpredictable Shigeo.
“Good warm,” Shigeo murmurs. “My head feels a bit clearer, too. I think the game worked, at least a little.” It hasn’t cleared up all his misgivings, and there are still plenty of jumbled memories in his head, but he’s starting to see the distinctions that separated the real world from the fabricated one, now that someone else has been able to reaffirm them. He bites back a yawn, humming sleepily. “That made me tired. I was already kind of drowsy from before I came over,” he says. The painkillers are starting to kick in, thankfully, dulling the pounding in his head and, interestingly, banishing the lingering itchiness from his hands.
Teru peers down at him through dark blue eyes. “Wow, you do look tired. Will you be alright getting home by yourself? Your house is pretty far away from here,” he points out. “Maybe you should just stay here for the night. It’s dangerous to fall asleep on the train, and I’d hate for you to end up lost.”
Shigeo hums noncommittally, drawing a chuckle from Teru’s lips. “I’ll take that as a yes, then. Don’t fall asleep yet, though, you need to tell your parents that you’re staying over. You don’t want to worry them, after all.”
Reluctantly, Shigeo sits up and picks up his phone from the coffee table. “Alright, I’ll give mom a call. Thanks for letting me stay, you’re probably right about falling asleep on the train. Honestly, I don’t know if I can keep my eyes open much longer.”
“I’ll make space in my room,” Teru says, standing up. He hesitates for a moment before untangling his fingers from Shigeo’s, then turns away before he can see his expression. “Er, be right back,” he adds, moving across the living room and disappearing into his bedroom.
Shigeo feels a flash of disappointment at the loss of contact. He likes holding hands with Teru, and he hopes his friend won’t be hesitant about touching him now. He doesn’t want to lose that contact. Shaking his head, he calls up his mother and tells her that he’ll be back the next morning. Thankfully, it’s a weekend, which means he doesn’t have to worry about waking up extra early to go home for his uniform, and his mother sounds almost excited to hear that he’s staying with a friend. Well, she’s always liked Teru. “Thanks, mom. Love you too, bye,” he says, and ends the call as Teru reemerges from his room.
“Okay, I know you’re tired,” Teru says, making his way over to where a small television is set up in the corner of the living room, “but hear me out. This is a sleepover now, which means we have to watch a movie.” He’s carrying a bunched-up, thick blanket in one arm, which he tosses onto the couch beside Shigeo. “If you’re up for it, of course. It’s an action movie.”
Well, Shigeo thinks, amused, I can’t say no to an action movie. It was his favorite genre, after all, so he nods in agreement. “Mmhmm, that’s okay. I might fall asleep during it, though,” he warns, if only so Teru doesn’t get offended.
Teru just smiles at him, popping the disk into his DVD player and turning on the television. “No problem,” he replies, moving back to the couch and taking his seat beside his friend. He takes the blanket and drapes it over both of them.
They sit close together as the intro to the movie begins, but Shigeo is quick to notice that Teru consciously avoids bumping into him by accident. He’s trying to be considerate, he knows, but it’s still a little frustrating that Teru was changing his typical behavior over concern. It’s nice of him to want to stay within Shigeo’s comfort zone, but it’s not what Shigeo wants him to do. After a few minutes of sitting quietly, Shigeo reaches over and takes Teru’s hand once more, linking their fingers together over top of the blanket. He scoots closer to make the action more comfortable, too, letting his side press against Teru’s so their linked hands lay atop his lap. He glances at Teru, searching for signs of discomfort, and instead finds Teru fighting an obviously pleased grin.
Smiling softly, he returns his attention to the movie. His hand feels normal, to his relief, and he’s fairly sure the painkillers Teru lent him are partly to thank for that. Even if it’s temporary, he basks in the feeling of Teru’s soft skin against his own, the way he idly rubs circles into his skin with his thumb. Despite the action happening on the tv screen, Shigeo finds his eyelids drooping within the first hour, lulled by the long day he’d had and Teru’s fond touch.
“Can I lay on you?” Shigeo asks, stifling a yawn behind his free hand as he turns to look at his… friend? He blinks, mind blanking. All of a sudden friend doesn’t feel like the right word. The thought knocks him so off-guard that he nearly misses Teru’s nod, a subtle action of consent.
“I don’t mind.”
Shigeo nods back, removing his hand from Teru’s light grasp and shifting away from him to make room. Teru looks confused about why he’s putting distance between them, but then Shigeo lowers himself down onto the couch and lays his head down on Teru’s lap.
It takes Teru a moment to relax into this new position, but he’s never been one to shy away from an affectionate touch. He moves one arm to the side of the couch and lets it rest there, his other hand hovering, unsure where to let it fall. After a moment, however, it finds a place at the back of Shigeo’s head, threading into his hair. His touch is calculated, experimental. Shigeo can tell he doesn’t want to go too far. “Is this okay?” Teru asks him in a soft voice, his fingers traveling down and brushing Shigeo’s bangs away from his forehead.
“Yes,” Shigeo replies, voice thick with weariness. He lets out a soft hum as Teru’s fingers grow more confident, drawing through his bangs and brushing over the skin of his scalp in feather-light touches. He closes his eyes, the movie forgotten. Part of him doesn’t want to sleep yet, wants to watch more of the movie, but Teru makes the decision for him. He removes his hand from Shigeo’s hair, and a moment later he feels the blanket being tucked around his shoulders and neck so it covers him completely. Then the hand returns to his hair, rhythmically brushing it away from his face as soft fingers trace his hairline and tickle the back of his neck.
In the soft, fuzzy space between wakefulness and sleep, he feels Teru bend over him and brush his lips over his temple, feather-soft and loving. They leave a warmth behind them, bringing a faint smile to Shigeo’s face as Teru’s soft caresses lull him into a quick and comfortable sleep.
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bigbrothernetflix-st · 4 years ago
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EPISODE ONE
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“its week ONE. why is everyone being so cracked i hate it here i absolutely hate it here someone take me out with a sniper rifle” - aria 
HOH: Jev UPSIDE DOWN: Jacob & Gina NOMINEES: Kiki & Nash POV: Nash FINAL NOMINEES: Kiki & Mo EVICTED: Mo (14-1)
PRESEASON CAST ASSESSMENT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEdLzVoyttU&list=PLFEwPPy8j010XXwntq80VSU0qLNTNpSIN&index=2&t=0s
JOEY
WOO holy shit this cast is filled with such insane personalities, and I cannot WAIT to play this game!
NASH
tell me why i'm already nervous
NASH
waits patiently for mo to pick another damn person to infect
GINA
skghkdgljhgdlj BRAIN HURTY,, sm people to talk to and everyone is so so nice! just glad I'm not winning hoh
ARIA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-bwCxQGRhk
alternative title: im very mean for 20 minutes
KIKI
so far the cast seems very sweet! a little quiet so far but otherwise im really enjoying talking to them!! and i think the twist is a cool idea but could be dangerous.... maybe a little too easy to expose alliances
GINA
I really like this cast! I'm actually really good friends with Aria (but we keeping that a secret) and I recognize Joshua from other orgs! Also, this twist seems super fun!
ARIA
okay,,,,okay,,,ok,,,k my brain is struggling to complie everything ive learned today i am STRUGGLING!!!!
So!! Lets make a tier list
We're working together (didnt even need to discuss)
-Nathan
-Jacob
-Gina
Asked to work together
-Joey
-Joshua
Implied we're working togther but lower tier
-Jev
-Josh C
-Monty
Super Sweet & Nice
-Bri
-Kiki
-Dem
-Mo
Sweet but i want a response
-Nick
-Emma
_saira
-jake
-Nash
So thats what i've gathered for today mostly, Jacob-Joey-Jev-Joshua all seem to really want to work close with me and we've talked a bit of game ( ITS ALL THE Js HELP) and seem super open while the girls seem more closed off as of now, kinda worried gina isnt gonna be active enough but idk, oh also everyone is noticing bri is CHAOS and that nick is talkative/assertive. more to update in a bit but heres a trust ranking for night one, one more thing jev said he doesnt like nathan or nick :OO and someone else mentioned nick being overbearing
1.Gina (i love her to the moon and back)
2. Nathan( the charisma SNAPPED this game go off sir!!)
3. Josh C (they're also charismatic but they're hecking hilarious and our view are pretty similar) 
4.Jev (they cared about me!! and im nice to them and this is just really wholesome)
5.Jacob (LOVE him but we havent talked enough beyond "we're winning this game")
6.Joshua (super fun to talk to, same og community king)
7.Bri (they wont keep info to themselves but shes SO sweet pls take my heart)
8. Joey (hes kinda sketching me out tbh but also he wants to work with me so)
9.Nick (they wouldnt put me up and thats all i could ask for)
10.Monty (PLEASE trust me i need ur braincells)
12.Kiki (sHES SO SWEET AND GOOD AT ART ADORE HER)
13.Mo (existential dread buddies <3)
14.Dem(approached game w/ me,,,but on the first message so might be doing that w/ everyone)
15.Nash (kate protection gang!!!)
16.Saira (we loVE DOGS! and thats it)
17.Emma (feel better soon,,,then pls talk to me k thanks)
18.Aria (dont trust anyone,,,not even yourself)
DEM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykD4dZjsDl0
BRIANNA
https://youtu.be/odNZXz-jNtw
MO
If alliances have been made already, I am gonna have some QUALMS... This cast is very cute, I love meeting new people, let's see we have
Aria - an ANGEL we've been talking about SIX the musical and slime tutorials
Brianna - The first person to recognize me using a Carole & Tuesday song in any of my videos. I'm v grateful.
Dem - He kinda jokes like a mom... 
Emma - I'm friends with Emma outside of the game and she is such a chaotic sweetheart. We been in the house a day and she plays Lois Griffon singing Doja Cat... for what...
Gina - I have not talked with her, I just said hi.
Jacob - Jacob is nice. I think I've yet to have a super positive ORG experience with him tho. So. Yeah.
Can I do the rest tomorrow cus I'm tired and just not in the mood. Okay thank you.
SAIRA
I was a little surprised by the amount of people dming me but they all seemed pretty nice! The twist sounds cool, I'm excited to see how it plays out
JEV
i definitely did NOT expect to win the first hoh but here we are, i have no idea what i'm gonna do but i need sleep so that's tomorrows problem
JOSH C
HELLO! it's your boy josh coming to give you some thoughts on the cast. coming into this game, the only person i know of beforehand is.. JACOB who has managed to snake me in both games we've played together so that's cute. i don't really have a choice but to trust him for now bc that's my only outside connection so we'll see how it goes. he's fun to talk to so i don't really mind but my eyes are PEELED for it going south.
my favorites just from the first night are probably aria, kiki, nathan, and saira. for no REAL reasons other than i just feel like i've had the best conversations with them and they were more fun than the rest of the cast. i'm not sure if those will stay the same but that's HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW!!
i've reached out to everyone and heard back from everyone (other than nash.. dunno what that's about so i'll just let it sit there. i don't REALLY mind bc it's good if i win HOH because it's a good reason to throw someone up there). everyone is cute enough, though i think i've connected LEAST with brianna, dem, joey, and monty? just haven't gotten a lot of energy back from them but i'm hoping that was just FIRST NIGHT jitters of people not putting in their full effort into their social game.
i'm going to spend today just chatting with people so i have a base relationship with them and that way if jev goes the route of asking people who they'd him to nominate -- i'm not someone they name simply for not knowing who i am. trying to be a little SOCIAL QUEEN. fun and funky so let's hope it pays off.
for the twist, i'm not really sure how to play this. i don't think the first round is going to have the BEST power hidden in it but it'd be nice to know that i for sure won't be first boot. (though i'm feeling OKAY enough that jev won't kill me bc we've talked at least). i think i'm going to wait a minute before i ask someone to send me in, or someone just sends me in on their own accord. that way people don't look at me for having a secret power bc it'll be really easy to narrow down who has one and that's just such an unnecessary way to get a target on your back. i like the twist, it's just hard to figure out how to play it and maybe i should just wait until someone does it for me or i'm one of the later people to get it so i get safety when there are less people in the house and it'll be harder to survive.
xoxo gossip josh
SKINNY NICK
https://youtu.be/yNBReh_pBPk
NATHAN
He's here, he's queer... and oddly enough starting off by not doing a Video DR; however, I think when making an initial first impression/trust list this method seems to go a little smoother... First off, coming right off of Big Brother Pasio and thrown into this game has made my head hurt more than it should. I forgot how annoying and tiresome the initial conversations are with everybody. With that said, I have begun to kinda pick out a path that may be suitable for me this season. In Pasio, my goal was to lay low, not be seen, and form connections. That strategy is going to be partially active this time around as well. I'm a big personality, and while that's fun and cute, I learned by keeping a low profile in the beginning portion while remaining social it does wonders. I don't need to be a Skinny Nick character and be talking in the house call and house chat at every ounce I get. With that being said, this season is full of Pasio players... some in which I had both good and bad experiences with. However, pushing that aside I really have my eyes set and locked on Aria. I have a feeling that the other Pasio alumni may see her for how she played in Pasio and I do as well, but I want to make sure her and I are on as good as terms as possible. She did NOT like me in Pasio, so rekindling that flame is ultra important. Alongside Aria, I get to play with both Monty and Jacob who I've had rocky relationships with in the past, but have grown to become great friends outside this. Working with them is going to be vital, but keeping them too close is suicide. With that being said, here's my initial trust ranking:
1. Aria
2. Jacob 
3. Nash
4. Jev
5. Josh
6. Monty
7. Joey
8. Nick
- - -
END LIST
JOSH C
okay, well nominations just came out and i can't say i'm too surprised that nash got nominated for eviction considering she hasn't responded to me yet and most everyone else is saying the same. i can't really imagine anyone using the veto on her unless she has a complete social turn around in the next 24 hours but that seems like.. a stretch. just gotta hope she doesn't win! we love an easy first week boot!
i'm a little sad about kiki getting nominated because i've really hit it off with them, but i think it's a good way to secure some trust with them and spark off a relationship. i've been trying to already be like YOU GOT THIS, YOU'RE STAYING! NASH DOESN'T TALK TO ANYONE! and i think they're being receptive. i like that i can joke around with them, so i'm hoping they enjoy me as much as i enjoy them.
i've also had aria and jake come talk to me about noms which means they trust me and that's GOOD. i want to try to secure something with them soon because i think they're both people that would want to work with me and i know that jake doesn't have a lot of connections already so being an early ally of his would be BIG.
just trying to focus on being a cute little social presence so people don't really focus on targeting me early on. i think this is a game full of half social players and some.. not so exciting people so it'll be easy to just slip through by not being the most boring person around. i don't want to promise TOO many people loyalty just yet but i think building a small core for myself will be important to keep me safe and i'm hoping that can come with jake/aria/kiki/jacob(?)
JAKE
chile............. where the fuck am i?
i dont know what dimension i'm in right now with these people but i am ready to show them what i am made of!! so far i've felt..... on the outs of most of what is going on so im just gonna give my perspective on things so far!! 
the cast....... ill just do an assessment
dem: said maybe three words to me since we've started... so there's that
saira: seems like a queen! i def need to talk to her more i've been sleeping on her and i think we'll get along well
joey: girl sometimes idk what this man is saying to me but we're rolling w it..
nash: her "sick" ass hasnt responded to my message from yesterday so bye
joshua: oh he can work! hes fun to talk to and i def see some potential to working with him. hes only 16 so yung so pure i remember those days </3
nathan: hes so hot god i literally want to eat his entire ass but i dont wanna be creepy so im trying to subtly flirt with him SDLKJFSKF he seems to be a sneaky player to me but hopefully thats not the case and we can be a showmance later on hehe
emma: LEGEND. QUEEN! PUT SOME RESPECT ON HER NAMEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my ride or die in this thing <3
jev: oh jevfrey my angel im so happy he's here!!! he's a loyal guy from what i remember and ill def be working with him ESPECIALLY now that hes the first hoh ayyyyY!!!! i feel completely safe with him
kiki: oh i LOVE THEMMMM we had a great connection from the jump and i have a soft spot for them for sure. theyre sadly nominated this week i did not know why jev made that decision but i will make sure they stay know THAT
monty: monty left me on read :( we had a kinda awk convo so idk how monty feels about me right now?? i def dont think he trusts me and ugh i hate the tension!!!!!!!! i hope we can resolve it all and be friends again
josh: KDJKFG i love this man... hes not entire truthful and is def playing me a bit but i think he's great and hopefully he doesnt turn out to be the snake i think he has the potential to be
gina: idk what to think of this girl she doesn't reply much to me and we haven't really spoken much for me to really get a good read of her. i infected her and idk if she'll take that a certain way i came to her with the explanation that we just havent talked as much. idk shes fine?
mo: hahhaha hes a cutie too and i think hes not much of a talker so i think hes nice for the most part it's just kinda hard talking to him sometimes
brianna: um....... yeah we haven't spoken yet and she infected me so idk how to feel about her yet. she claims it was this number system but do i fully believe thats what she based it on? not really.. so ill def have to talk to her more
aria: NOW THIS........ THIS IS ELEGANCE. THIS IS CLASS. THIS IS EXPENSIVE. THIS IS TASTE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! this 15 year old girl has me shaking to my god damn core with her social game within a 20 minute conversation ive already devoted my entire game to her and our "attention whores" alliance. iM GAGGGEDDDD i really like her and i know shes a big threat but if shes with me then we can do some damage together hehe
skinny nick: SKINNYYYYY i dont have much to say about nick i think they're well connected in this game so i have to make sure i'm good with them a little more. our convos are a little dry hopefully that'll change as the game goes on
jacob: a sweetie.. i really like jacob as a person but as a player he scares the shit out of me DSLKFGFKJ he lied to me like every round in BBHOS9 so i dont rly know if i can trust him. he def has other friends in this community hes playing with so ill have to sus out who exactly that is...
and......... yeah! kiki and nash are nommed. gina n jacob went to the down under. i think jacob will def get whatever power is down there he is one lucky man so i wouldn't be surprised if it's something good. oh well hopefully when i go i get whatever the best thing is a dpov mayhaps!.......
i hope the next hoh is something i can win because i want these people to TALK TO MEEEE tell me where their heads are at for god's sake! me on day 2: why arent you telling me all your alliances? dFGKLF i feel like im okay just gotta talk to some said people more and try to make sure they dont hate me!
JOSHUA
I thought Jev was nice but I'll have to go back on that because he absolutely is not fooling a single person, I thought we'd be allies but he's been acting sus all day so he can choke on rat piss. Joey and nick literally aren't talking to me at awl so... they can choke and die too. Aria is talking to me a lot but I know she talks to everyone a lot sjdkjds queen of big brother pasio... but I trust her for now I guess. Other than that I'm not super like concerned with anyone else I mean brianna kiki gina mo are nice I guess.. mo is a little hard to talk to though so :( anyway glad to be here but my social is kind of rocky skjdjskdj : ( ( ( ( ( 
JEV
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SKINNY NICK
https://youtu.be/0Kb-twzCkYI
MO
trying to hint to dem that I’m not okay... wonder if it’s working
ARIA
its week one. its week ONE. why is everyone being so cracked i hate it here i absolutely hate it here someone take me out with a sniper rifle im sick of this, but its fine im gonna try to do my best to explain EVERYTHING bc whew is there a lot..
First off lets start with the fact ive been talking with everyone from the moment i woke up and my fingers hurt so much but also now people like me and thats all i need in life so heck yes!! So when it was nash vs kiki i start planting seeds to keep kiki with people and then nash wins veto so thats thrown out the window yayyyy- 
Things start happening after jev renoms Mo. First off i get a call with crack kills (joey bri me) and we discuss the vote a little bit with Joey leaning towards keeping Mo and Me/Bri wanting to keep Kiki, joey leaves and me and bri talk about the alliance we were invited to (jacob josh jake kiki us) and then i notice theres a house vc which i then go and join alone.
It was silent for a bit before they mentioned they were talking about votes and were being kinda secretive about names but i asked directly so Mo tells me that dem told him that there was 5 confirmed votes against Mo (nash Jacob Nick Joshua/Jacob(dont remember which) and Josh c) he said the names really fast so i mightve missed a few and nathan interjects about my notes and like??? shut up nathan???? anyways i act all shook about an alliance and we talk about votes and apparently when mo campaigned to bri she just sent "hugs" and im caCKLIGN FDSGFDSH anyways that confirmed 5 votes is gonna make people nervous and cause people to keep Mo which like, im not totally against but i just want a unan vote please. Also i think dem & emma dont really trust me which is big ughhh idk if one of the pregame girlies (any of the names from that list) win hoh next week ill throw one of them utb easy peasy 
So then i start asking around to gina and she ghosts me??? gina NEVER ghosts me so im sketched out there and Mo is asking for my help when i already told kiki i would save her its such a messsss. So if i had to guess the sides i would say 
PREGAME GIRLIES: Nash Jacob Jake Joshua Josh c kiki
UNCONNECTED NOT PROTECTED: Dem Joey Emma Nathan Mo
Whomst: Saira Jev Monty Nick Gina Bri
Help: Aria
So, where do i go from here? How do i make sure this vote comes out hecking even,,, im not sure. nvm i am sure because Mo just told me they want to give up HFBHJBSDFS MO MY SAVIOR ILL NEVER FORGET YOU KING <<<<3333333 okay nvm hes not fully giving up but im giving him an avenue that would make my life much easier where im telling him to have good convos with people so they connect more and if anyone feels moved theyll come to me and ill get the ball rolling with a easy peasy unan vote hopefully. But i think i might be able to manipulate this situation to my advantage WHEW im hyped now!!
So lets say mo leaves the thought of those "five confirmed votes" is still gonna be in peoples heads mainly dem/joey/emma/nathan which might form into a side and go hard for hoh taking out some big social player and then we have two sides going after each other which would be cute.
I would make trust rankings but i trust no one fbhsafd and thats on pewiod
JAKE
WHEW!!!!!!!!!!! im not the first boot :~) let's celebrate that.... 
but i'm not too thrilled about these noms...... im happy nash won POV she started talking to me more and shes actually really cool so i wanted her to stay. i am sad kiki is nominated i don't want them to go at all..... and mo being the replacement nominee was a shock to everyone i think..... 
i don't have a problem with mo leaving cuz we have a weak connection i just thought dem was going up based on my prior conversations with jev. he says dem started talking to him more but i just wish jev would talk to me and emma about his decisions if we're "aligned"?? like whats the point of having an alliance if we don't have any say in your decisions?
today i woke up to a message from josh asking me what i think about being in an alliance with jacob brianna aria and kiki........ and im just like wtf where this come from and he said that jacob is making it and its just his fave ppl??? im like ok like im not one to turn down an alliance but i let him know that i dont rly trust jacob n brianna as much as the others in the alliance. hopefully this makes him feel close to me and not blab his mouth to jacob ab that! 
brianna has yet to speak to me and jacob is just someone im always gonna have a hard time trusting sooo if i have to nominate them down the line i won't hesitate unless this alliance is genuine and helping me in the game.
i really only trust emma so far with aria being my secret spy and big meat shield im gonna need in this game. aria's super well connected and im hoping she'll be able to provide me w the information i need to take bitches down later on. 
i think i'd be worried about brianna winning bc we've never talked but at least we have this alliance possibly in the works?? and i dont know if nick would nominate me we haven't talked much..
but i want to win the next hoh so people actually talk to me LOL praying i can win
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lovenotesuggestions · 7 years ago
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Please shed some light. Is something wrong with me? My life is crumbling; I have issues with my family because I’m not allowed to be free and go out with my friends, the police got involved because my boyfriend got reported by my dad because my dad hates him, I attempted suicide but I failed and bc of that my college is paused at the moment and I won’t go back until the next semester in February ‘18. I thought things will get better when the police got involved I thought I’d finally be free (1)
But I was wrong in the end my boyfriend’s family tried to sue my parents for defamation against my boyfriend. The suing part is canceled because my boyfriend helped calm down his parents. But my life is still crumbling. I still have no freedom and now I can’t even see my boyfriend anymore because I can’t go to college anymore until next February. But my boyfriend has his life together, he has school + friends and he’s been going out a lot and in fact, he’s been ignoring me...? (2)
He said he’s busy with school work and his friends and that’s why he can’t always reply to me ASAP. But is it wrong to spend 1 minute to tell me that he’s doing smth and I can give him space? He only comes back to talk to me during midnight and we both get tired and only talk for an hour and then go to sleep. When I’m honest to him and tell him that this hurts me and I need help with my crumbling life all he needs to do is be there for me, he tells me that he has a life too. (3)
I tell him I’m hurt I need him to listen and be there for me but how? He ignores me the whole day and is only there for me to talk to during midnight? For like an hour? Before he gets tired and go to sleep? I try to solve this with him but he thinks I’m complaining, asking “too much” from him because he “has a life too”, and I’m egoistic and narcissistic for asking someone to be there for me when I need him. He said I don’t even try to understand. I might kill myself bc no one is helping me. (4)
First thing’s first: if you’re having suicidal thoughts, please speak to somebody - a doctor, a therapist, a college counsellor, a suicide hotline, a mental health charity, friends or family etc. There are people out there who can and want to help you, and all you have to do is reach out. Even though things are difficult now, they will get better, you can make it through this. Don’t throw away the possibility of all the happiness in your future because things are tough now. Think about little things that make you happy - it can be as small as watching the sun set, petting an animal, seeing your friends, watching vine compilations, whatever it is, and hold onto it. You won’t get to do those things anymore if you give up on yourself. You are worthy of living, and you can make it through this. 
If it’s your parent(s) that are preventing you from seeing anyone, it might be worth having a serious talk with them about how isolated you feel and how much that’s making your mental health worse - if they know you’ve already attempted suicide, they should see how serious this is, and being isolated can make mental health problems so much more difficult to cope with. But obviously only do this if it’s safe.
 As for your boyfriend, both of you have valid points. Of course if he’s busy, he might not have time to reply straight away. You seem to understand that, and as long as you’re understanding that he might not have time to be there 24/7, I don’t see any problems with your behaviour. 
However, you are right in that a good compromise would be for him to let you know when he’s busy - it takes 30 seconds to send a message saying “I’m doing my homework” or “I’m out with friends” and I really don’t think that’s an unreasonable thing for you to ask of him. I’m also a little dubious about how infrequently he’s talking to you - most people aren’t busy all day every day and it’s not out of the question for him to be able to check his messages every half an hour or so and shoot you a short reply. 
I would understand him being annoyed if you were being overbearing and asking for him to be around all the time to talk to, but by the sounds of it you really aren’t doing that, and the way he’s talking to you isn’t acceptable in my eyes. It’s not narcissistic to want to be able to talk to someone, especially when you’re otherwise so isolated and when you’re going through such a difficult time. Asking for him to let you know when he’s busy so you can give him space, and for him to chat with you a little more frequently (let’s face it, you can text back and forth with someone whilst you’re doing something else, even if your replies are a little slow, it’s not like you’re demanding 100% of his attention for all of his free time) is not unreasonable or asking too much or egotistical at all, and for him to say those things is unfair to you, especially when you’re having so much difficulty and going through such a hard time. There’s a difference between wanting a little space, which is absolutely okay and healthy, and what he’s doing, which is being cruel to you. I think you should talk to him about how the way he’s treating you makes you feel. Make it clear that you don’t expect him to be around 24/7 and that he’s absolutely free to spend time with his friends and do his schoolwork, but you’d like to know when he isn’t available so you can give him the space he wants, and you’re feeling isolated (but obviously try not to guilt him or manipulate him - let him know that talking to him makes you feel happier and try to be positive rather than negative) and would like to talk to him more, even if it’s just him dropping you a short message whilst he has a minute. 
A compromise can easily be made here, but only if he’s willing to compromise with you, and by the sounds of it he’s being stubborn and uncooperative and unfair to you, and it’s not okay for him to insult you when all you’re doing is asking for support in a hard time, and I think you need to have a serious conversation. If he still isn’t respecting you, then it might be a question of whether continuing the relationship is good for you, or whether how absent he’s being is just adding more stress onto what’s already a very stressful time for you. 
I hope you can find happiness soon and things start to get easier for you. Please reach out to someone who’s qualified to help you through these hard times, and please hang on - you can make it through the other side of this, you’re worthy of love and life, and I care about you and I’m rooting for you. Don’t hesitate to talk to me if you need to💕
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swanskov · 7 years ago
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2 half assed blurbs for 2 complete opposites~
honestly, please don’t take this seriously i’m still trying to make sense of these characters myself rip me
nathan ko / 20 / student + webtoon artist
+ meet nathan!!!! sweet, pure sun child who was initially supposed to be a musical theatre student until i decided to make him a marine biology geek before finally settling on him being a webtoon artist while studying psychology bc it’s practical~ he can get a proper job with that~ (his mom: what can u do as an artist huh??? i didn’t raise my son to be a starving artist)
+ he’s actually dying psych is killing him nd his webtoons are his only solace in life so he’s very!!! passionate about drawing and story writing, literally thinks up scenes and characters using real life experiences
+ he’s unemployed but he makes commissions from his sketches so he’s at least got that (he’d try to prove his mom wrong w that but he gets his stubborn trait from her)
+ he was born and raised in new york so he knows his way around yet he still manages to miss his subway stop bc he’s too busy reading webtoons or watching anime he downloaded on his phone, he needs to stop being so distracted or else he’ll end up outside of new york one day bc of how absent minded he can be
+ that’s it, that’s all i got for him. other fun facts: he’s in luv w his best friend nd he totally doesn’t have a folder of all the sketches he drew of him while daydreaming. when he’s drawing he loses concept of time so he’ll open his tablet and blink and suddenly its 6 in the morning, there’s a bowl of ramen he doesn’t remember getting beside him, the birds are chirping, what year is this, who is he
penelope seo / 19 / student + spoiled brat
+ ok i at least know a lot abt penny so this shouldn’t be bad
+ born and raised in gangnam, seoul, her family moved to new york for family company reasons penny doesn’t rlly bother to understand 
+ the definition of a rich, spoiled brat, her personality may be hard to swallow for some bc she’s so shamelessly opinionated and vain, she also likes to compensate that by being eagerly overbearing to the point where it’s annoying (she’s like a toddler who won’t let her mom poop in peace like what is space!!!!)
+ thrives off attention and overreacts a lot, total #dramaqueen and may have around 5 scheduled fits per day
+ despite all this i swear she’s a sweet girl. she moved out of her home and into an apartment to be independent and live that university life so she’s always looking for friends to have fun with and show off on her social media
+ super affectionate, a totally open book, you’ll know how she’s feeling the moment you see her bc she’s gonna want to talk about what’s got her so down / excited / feeling whatever way
+ ok i lied i’m running out of things to say i honestly just wanted to post this so i can get this request up too: she’s betrothed to this guy she’s known since she was a kid nd for someone who’s had an arranged marriage planned since she was 6 she actually doesn’t mind bc she’s rlly in luv w this boy!!!! he hung the stars in her eyes and she just rlly admires him bc...he’s pm a Golden Boy (honor student, athletic, everyone luvs him) and her best friend!!! another reason why she moved to new york was to be near her fiancee and his family (company ties as well) and while the marriage definitely isn’t happening anytime soon (they’re still kids who need their education pls) i have a headcanon that penny goes around calling him her husband nd it confuses tf out of everyone lmaosdkj 
+ anyways i don’t have many specifics for him like, he should be around 20, i wouldn’t mind if he were a lil older (no older than 24 tho??). face, mg, personality/history is all up to u!!! (tho...i might have a list of potential faces i imagined while writing this up so if ur interested nd want to see the list...) i have a ton of headcanons for these two as well as some potential ideas to throw in (like mb this is all one sided??? mb the boy doesn’t want to be betrothed nd is in luv w someone else yikes penny would be so heartbroken)
+ nd that’s the end of my presentation thank u if ur interested in the request / plotting / etc shoot me an ask or message me on discord @ almira#6481 !!!
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steven-reblogs · 21 days ago
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“I mean- I suppose you’re used to it- though I still worry. Also, I’m… very glad you find me helpful. It means a lot.”
[OURHHEE.. he sounds so .. happy..?]
“I love you also, kid. I’m glad you think I’ve genuinely helped you.-“
(OFC THATS ALL PLATONIC.)
hey dad im randomly mad again and i feel bad about it what do i do:(
“Oh dear. I'm so sorry this is late, kid. I'm here now. As for the answer to your problem? It's alright. Sometimes that can happen. Emotions can randomly come and go. You can't control them. I know it's hard to come to terms with your emotions. There could be some reason! Has anything happened recently? Anything that could be overwhelming? An influx of texts? Too many people talking at once? Too much noise.? If that's the case, would you like to sit in my office for awhile? It should be quiet. You can always play your music! I've played some of the songs from the one artist you played. It's very nice. I do enjoy the song you showed me! Cicada days, I believe it was called. Anyways, sorry. Don't feel bad for having emotions. You're fine; we can sit down and take a few deep breaths. Alright? You'll be alright. Trust me. I'm here for you."
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