#half of which WE DONT HAVE IN THIS FUCKASS HOUSE

[blaithnne]

I could not have made it more clear that I don’t have a side in this argument

Hey guys what do you think of my uncontroversial lunch

[h5eavenly]

omg i literally sent you an ask like two hours ago thinking "well this can't get any worse now we're gonna be so up from here on" AND IT SOMEHOW GOT WORSE?????? AGAIN I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START WOAH yeji having it out for y/n over something that happened years ago and that hyune obviously got over is just soooo.. like she has so many reasons to give y/n a piece of her mind for and she chooses /this/ hill to die on?? AND not addressing her directly???? babyyyy this ain't it!! i think this is also a way of evidencing how distanced yeji and hyune have grown more than the distaste that she has towards y/n, like she doesn't know about hyune and her's connection and where they stand as much as the others do bc yeosang drove her away from them all which is so sad :-( sometimes she frustrates me a bit but i have a lot of sympathy towards yeji especially in this situation bc i know how hurtful it is to feel ostracised from your close friendships due to a toxic relationship and trying to hold on to the things you knew about them while not realising that they've changed bc you haven't been there enough to witness those changes :-( idk if this was your intention when you wrote it but it's really accurate. i know there's a lot of bad blood between yeji and y/n, now more than ever with the yeosang situation 💀 but i really do wish they can have a heart to heart sometime bc both of them have been so wronged and hurt by evil men and idk if a friendship between them is possible tbh but i feel like they can find a support system in each other even if they aren't friends. i just want my girls to be happy and i know there's a long way to go but they both deserve healing smsm :-(

now WDYM MFS RAIDED HYUNE'S HOUSE OH MY GOD????? this is y/n's fuckass father FOR SURE his ass wants to play gangster so bad HE AIN'T SHIT!!!!!!! i'm so flabbergasted i swear i never saw this coming??? i never thought that bum would ever go to this length to try to impose control on his daughter like that man's crazyyyyy. at first i thought the raid was bc of yeosang but you know that man ain't got no friends and is a coward he could never pull up like this 😭 so that's why i think it's y/n's father who's behind this bc he wants to have his godfather moment for some reason 💀 yk how weird men go crazy once they realise they can't control the women they feel entitled to so i think y/n moving out made him feel some kind of way. i can't wait for that asshole's downfall i swear i'm praying on it im going to church over it im manifesting it 🙏🏻 unless hyune is onto something that we're not aware of??? which idk im not sure about that honestly but i didn't see like half the things that ended up happening coming either so you knowww im seated, hyune and hannie living with y/n will be so cute too!! we love to see domestic hyune+y/n content we used to pray for times like this 🥹 so we might be kinda up after all maybe

thank you sm for the update so soon!! you're working overtime for this and it's sooo appreciated you deserve the world fr 🫂🩷🩷

genuinely curious what made you think "its only up from here" cus... 🫡efuhhfihw fyi anon i take my angst tag VERY seriously 🧐 some may say i'm not trust worthy but i just like being unpredictable

about the whole yeji situation it is intentional yes! im so glad you noticed its kinda hard to write such subtle things in smau without it being in your face because it's one of those things that i want ppl to notice but sometimes im like ahh idk if anyone would notice, i think for her she obviously views y/n as a rival but because she's left out (hence jinnie growing more distance ever since yeo came into her life) she tries to attack y/n with the only available card she has which is "you did smth bad to my friend" bc she doesn't know anything else and she wasn't even there when it all happened she only got snippets from the story and from jinnie's side when he was still feeling resentful towards y/n and you see the difference in this specific subject between her and lix (bc lix was there) he gets their bond sm more and it's so much easier for him to not hold it against y/n

listen y/n's dad might be a little worse than her mom idk they're competing for that title rn, ty for being so kind baby as alwayys i enjoyed reading and im sorry for talking sm i just get excited about my characters🥰🥰💞💞

[sampilled]

personal rant under cut

sister asking people for money again but everyone has wised up and is refusing to give it to her. praise the lord. she needs to get real

she lives so above her means like she owes everyone in her life money and is always taking advantage of people so they pay for things for her (when we went on holiday with her she would send my nieces down an hour before her so my mum would end up buying them breakfast/dinner) and i genuinely think she must be in actual debt too cuz she buys so much shit out of catalogues and off klarna and even off other peoples catalogues. her mother in law (unofficially cuz she is not even married to that man rip) offered to put a couch on hers for her (even though they gave them a brand new couch when they moved into their house cuz it was too bug for them but my sister complained and whined about it constantly til she offered to let them use her fucking very lol) and my sister put a fucking ps5 on it without even asking. and it was for her fuckass boyfriend even though she was telling everyone in her life she was scared she hadnt bought my nieces enough (to get them to give her money or offer to buy them stuff) which is actually crazzyyyyyyyyyy actually imagine being this disconnected from reality and selfish

and she started fighting with my mum on that very fucking holiday even though my mum was basically funding it for them cuz they run out of money half way through. why would you go to a foreign country with 5 children when you dont have enough money to last two weeks (cuz you didn't have enough money to book the holiday in the first place) and then fight with the people giving you money???? no offence but if i owed anyone the type of money my sister owes my mum and her dad (who wasn't even there, she got on the phone and verbally accosted him from across the ocean), i would not speak to them the way she does. she owes her dad over £8000 ($10,505.20usd) and she literally calls him everything under the sun when he says no and also i haven't said how old she is yet, she is 35... 35...

and her man is a creep who told my brother he's not attracted to her cuz shes fat. doing all this for a man who would say that to your brother is crazy

she asked me for money even though we don't get along cuz apparently my mum lets me get away with everything (we r both grown ups and i am a grown up who doesn't drink, smoke or do drugs or ever fight with my mum. i have literally been a goody two shoes my whole life so i very much resent the insinuation my mum should be getting me in trouble for whatever it is she thinks i do that is bad... when i am 22 and i can do as i please)

goddddddddddddddddddddddd i'm just so frustrated. this is only like 5% of the problem (her man is also a horrible racist and a creeper who flirts with teenage girls but god forbid i speak!!!) (her man is a good 74% of the problem but they've been together since i was like 5 so i do not have the time or the memory to get through everything)

[zebrasaursaylor]

(Just a story on how easy it is to fuck with someones water bill)Ah im from the Detroit area but not Detroit anddddd fuckers are ASSHOLES about waterbills. The city needed to fix their meeters and needed everyone to make appointments, during the DPW hours, so 9-3 ya know the times most people are at work and times where most people would have to leave work early/ go in late if not just miss a whole day bc they tell you "a time" but dont know how long the repair will take -nor will they tell you what it is for an unknown reason- so we tell them we want the latest appointment and we wil have to leave work early to get home in time for it. We do. They show up over a half hour late, claiming to have been held up by a broken pipe, which i know for a fact they dont fucking fix anyways. Go to my basement, fuck around in there for 15 mins, literally tell us "you are all set" and leave.

Well the next week someone calls my husband when were at work, hes usually on 24+ft ladders painting so answering phones is hard. They left a messge, he listened to it but they had told us we were all set so he thought they called the wrong person as it was a cal to set up a follow up appointment to fix the issuse that wasn't fixed last time??? So, cant remember what happened but we ended up having to call them and this. Fucking. Asshole.

She started threatening to shut off our water if we didnt, miss more work on short notice, and again allow the dpw back into our house. My husband tried to ask her if she was sure it was the right house because they had told us we were all set and she starts yelling so loud i could hear it, that she "doesnt know what they told you and that's not my problem. You have to let them in or im shutting off your water." Now, idgaf lol like there's no reason to shut off my water and my boss/the person who owns the house is a lawyer so, it wouldn't have stuck but oh no. No.

Fucking asshole. Did something different. She?claimed we, 2 adults, in a house with 3 sinks, 1 toilet, 1 shower, the hose (no washer, no dishwasher thats all that uses water) use fucking 52 thousand gallons of water. The bill was so fucking high the secretary called us when she saw it to check there wasn't a leak.

We knew that asshole was pissed but i didn't know the fuckass would send us a almost $900 fucking water bill when, we had the last 6 YEARS of water bills pulled for the house and even when 6+ ppl lived here the highest water bill was under $350.

And like i said, im not even in Detroit but fucking assholes can still fuck with my waterbill, fucking TRIPLE IT and i can do nothing but tell my landlord, and thank satan hes not an asshole and got it lowered to $600 then paid half of it.

But yea like we freaked the fuck out when we opened an $870 something water bill when its usually $250ish tops. And tbh i dont know if it makes it easier or harder but this happened in a small ass town. Like i literally know the persons name and ive met them. So, i mean she can only do it so many times but i still couldn't prove i didnt use all that water bc my bill said i did. And like chances are its not the first/only time shes done it and shes not the only person who does it.

so due to the coronavirus the state govt in Michigan decided to turn on all water for detroit and cover the first month free and make the billing for every month after only $25, at least until the pandemic dies down. 

for those that don’t know, detroit has been suffering from water shutoffs so bad the UN had to step in and declared it a violation of human rights in 2014. the residents are still having their water shutoff because they can’t pay their bills which oh, just so happen to be purposefully extremely expensive. because the water is being shutoff (the residents literally cannot afford these stupidly gouged prices the city is forcing on them in an effort to kick them out) CPS is stepping in and taking kids away from parents because they “can’t provide a safe and healthy home environment” on top of other horrors they face. can you imagine not being able to take a shower at home? flush the toilet? do the dishes? water is ESSENTIAL for life

but, almost as if it’s nothing, the state govt decided in the past week to take charge of all the shutoffs and turn it back on and provide the first month free and a $25 bill. almost as if its nothing.

all this shit, all this forced poverty on people, all of the ‘lack of healthcare because we Cant Afford it’, all this shit the govt keeps saying to us is fake. it’s FAKE. they turned the water on like it was nothing. people had their KIDS taken away from them. goddamn.

[leeoliver]

4, 8, 10 mal

(character descriptions)

4. their laugh

here

8. their interactions with their significant other(s), if they have them

mmm GAY…theyre gross and cutsey and pdaish (jesawyer arcade “im here im queer get over it” post.png) and always wanna hear abt each others day. they both read like voraciously and have mile long lists of books (and movies, which hc arcade loves) for each other to read and then discuss. when mal starts getting into all the big mt tech they work on that together. also a lot of cooking mal loves cooking. also just while traveling together its pretty much 90% mal: im gonna do this thing arcade: dont do that youll die mal: i did it and i didnt die but im hurt please fix me (like in that fic i started but cant finish!!)

more general/non malarcade centric mal rlly believes in quality time when hes dating someone (i tried to find the name for this type of thing in an online love language quiz but then i saw a “what men really think of you” quiz in the related section and fell down a playbuzz hole and forgot) like he signs up for couples pottery and dance classes and stuff he LOVES fun quirky date ideas

10. their interactions with an enemy/rival

im gonna do this twice bcos i feel like enemy and rival are separate so under the cut

mal was like…really fucking top tier at the mojave express except there was another person who was also on the top tier and honestly the two of them had beef for the history books…her name is juno and ive got an au where shes courier six but the two of them are just like…workplace drama from hell but its unclear how much of it is legit and how much of it is because they both enjoy having a sworn nemesis. also worth mentioning juno (her last name is enríquez shes evil karma mr house ending and i adore her) is ulysses’ second cousin.

theyre both just like. super petty and catty around each other and junos witty as fuck shes one of th only ppl who can trip mal up wrt withering remarks and ALWAYS competing for the good jobs and employee of the month trophies (which mojave express TOTALLY does) to the point where the reason mal got together w his (now ex) boyfriend hamlet was bcos hamlet handled courier assignments and mal wanted juno assigned to shitty jobs

at the same time tho they aggressively support each other bcos work would be boring if they werent always trying to one up each other. when someone at the office is terrible enough to unite the two of them in being pissed off (like eating the last coffee donut) they stand by the watercooler and shittalk them in spanish and everyone else just goes thirsty bcos theres no way ur getting past them w/o ur outfit, hairstyle, and major life choices being secretly berated

this whole section makes it sound like mal is…really fucking mean but honestly i just feel like there are some ppl who u just like. get bitchy when ur around? like my old best friend and i were just. like we were really nice people separately but we got together and were just horrible. it was kind of like that.

also juno was rlly good friends w quick but took mals side in the (SUPER public) breakup, which brings me to…

Richard “Quicksilver” Holmes, whom mal refers to as “Quick Dick”, “Quicky Dicky”, or “Stupid Fucking Hell Shit Fuckass Bitch Hate Him Hate Him Hate Him” another express courier, mals ex boyfriend. the two of them were really famous for repeatedly getting caught having sex in the supply closet and an incident where mal slapped quick across the face during work hours in the middle of the employee lounge when he found out he was cheating.

they dated for two and a half years. quick was seeing another guy who didnt even know about mal for two years of this, and then cheating on both of them with a whole string of other dudes throughout the whole thing. like this guy is a shitbag.

anyway so neither of them got fired or quit so. it basically just divided the whole workplace u had ppl who were on team quick (quick had a really solid group of friends) ppl who were on team mal (juno, anyone w emotions, etc) and ppl who literally did not care (most ppl, which mal isnt willing to admit). mal wouldnt talk to quick or acknowledge anything he said to him, and at the very beginning he wouldnt touch anything that quick had been the last person to touch. and it was like this for. like a solid four months before quick found alternate employment opportunities and left to pursue them. so yeah, like, pre benny pre caesar pre mr house quick was #1 on mals shit list

[velteris]

I've been following you for a really long time and this is the first time I've ever wanted to ask you a question. But why would you go camping alone without any light? That's just a really dumb thing to do...

(in ref to my tags here im pretty sure)

gather round, dear followers, for a series of anecdotes from Hell Camp, the source of my best and worst stories

when i was twelve my school sent all its year nine students class by class to a five-week camp, which will henceforth be called Hell Camp. here is the setup:

a four-hour drive out of the city into the outback, where there is a farm owned by the school for the express purpose of hosting Hell Camp

28 girls and 28 boys, each in their own dorm houses

no phones. no computers, no ipods, no TV. no internet (within our reach). we cooked our own food on fire stoves and wrote letters by hand to our parents and friends

no lollies, no soft drinks or juice, all our eggs and milk came off the farm

wake up at 5:30am every day to go for a 3km run and then chores on the farm, from milking the cows to chopping our firewood

Bible study every night because this was a Christian private school

“why???” u may ask. “why did your school subject tweens to a month of this???” supposedly to build character and teach u life skills but tbh idk how knowing how to crack a bullwhip is supposed to help me in life

but it wasnt just five weeks straight of same ol farm life there were other activities they had us do!! camp-like activities!! for example:

Pre-Survival

three days to prepare us because we were innocent younglings who barely knew how to start a fire

basically a campsite in the middle of fuckass nowhere? we rode horses there while the counselors (the Hell Camp resident teachers, but ones that deadlift 50kgs and kill spiders without batting an eye) drove with our bags and stuff and laughed as we got inevitably lost

have u ever used a dunny u have to empty urself

it is so gross. there is a field marked out explicitly for burying everyone’s shit, and u have to take turns. so gross. 

there was a shower which was a metal shed with a bucket of water hung up, which u heated over the fire before u went in and prayed it wasn’t too hot

this was like winter time and we slept in swags on the ground and when we woke up there was frost on our swags

i made an iron horseshoe??? the temptation to touch red hot metal is ridiculous tbh it looks so pretty

someone did touch theirs. it was not me. i heard them yell from across the field where i was helping feed horses.

in the middle of the second night the counselors took us to a giant rock in the middle of the bush where u could see the stars and it was amazing you could see the milky way and everything… but the thing was we had to spend the previous 20 minutes in the dark to get our eyes used to it so they had us hold onto each other’s sleeves and walk blindly into this rugged, rock-covered trail through pitch blackness, praying no one in front is going the wrong way

and then. the counselors played a trick on us by getting one of the kids to stay back in the forest and waited to see how long we’d notice. we didn’t notice until it was time to go back im so sorry Kimmy

Survival

ok this the real shit you went with the same group you were with in pre-survival and the counselors drove you out into the depths of the outback and dropped you and your group off with some tools, food, and tarpauline

and then u just lived out there for three days.

we couldn’t start a fire our first night because it’d been raining before??? our dinner was supposed to be rice, potatoes and carrots, and the carrots were the only edible thing bc u cant eat raw rice and raw potatoes.. u just cant.

there were wild dogs around. we never saw them, but we heard them awoo-ing a lot. so whenever someone split off from the main camp to go pee like two other girls would accompany them as an honor guard, singing Kumbaya to keep the hounds away

sometimes people would go alone and then there would be a Sound in the bush and then you’d just hear them screaming “MAMA’S MAKING KAN TONG”

on our last day the counselors set up targets with drawings of kangaroos on them, handed us a bow and 20 arrows, and said “if u can shoot the kangaroo we’ll give u sausages for your last meal”

never in my life will i ever see such ferocity from 12- to 13-year-old hungry girls again

when it was another group’s turn to be on survival, my group was on normal farm duty, and we were out clearing bush scrub when we heard the survival group girls talking and we realised we’d gotten too close.

“hello?? hello??? is anyone out there?” “oh my god someone’s out there oh my god we’re gonna die” “COME OUT, WE HAVE WEAPONS”

THIS WAS A LIE. WE KNEW DAMN WELL THEY HAD THE SAME THINGS AS US AND THOSE THINGS WERE TWO SHOVELS AND A HEAVY DUTY CLIPPER.

and our fucking counselor just went “shhh!!” to us and herded us back like he just straight up left those nine girls thinking there were bush serial killers out for them

also apparently a tree fell on someone’s head at some point in their survival

at night we slept in a row like snuggling each other cause it was So Fracking Cold and lemme tell u it’s an experience being spooned by the girl who used to sigh whenever you raised your hand in class

Four Day Hike

what it says on the label

55km in four days, carrying all your food, sleeping bags, tents, clothes, toilet paper etc. and minimum 2L of water bottles you could refill at big barrels set out at designated stop points

this is, without a doubt, the single worst experience of my life

nothing good happens when u hand a group of kids a map and a compass and tell them “we’ll look for you if you’re not at the campsite by sundown but apart from that you’re on your own”

i was with an athletic group of kids?? they were Walking So Fast and i was just staggering along with my unfit friend like this is how i die on a godforsaken hill on our way to god knows where

actually i had an asthma attack and they left me behind for a bit fun times

the hike went through some willing farmers’ land and one boy who stupidly climbed a fence got chased by a bull

they sent us off group by group so we’d all make our own way, so whenever u bumped into another group you were like. okay one of us was going the wrong way and it better fucking well be you

there weren’t any showers or anything so we basically all wore the same clothes for four disgustingly sweaty days of hiking

someone used an anthill as a toilet bc it had a nice big hole to drop ur toilet paper down

the ants did not appreciate this

when you run out of toilet paper and it’s only 11am

Solo

this was it. the culmination of the camp. the ultimate character building experience.

which was just 24 hours of alternating boredom and sudden visceral terror now that i think about it

u got dropped off (again in the middle of nowhere see a theme yet) with tarp, a lil trowel, and a clipper, and u just set up camp and did whatever u wanted for 24 hours

they let u bring a bible.

i got really into Leviticus and Deutoronomy before it went dark

listen it was really really boring ok

AND HERE IT IS THE BIT WHERE I DIDN’T HAVE LIGHT WHILE CAMPING ALONE

listen when the sun goes down at 5pm, u go down too. there’s nothing else u can do?? u just gotta sleep???

or, like me, lie awake in mortal terror listening to the bush Come Alive

when the wallaby goes THUMP-THUMP-THUMP and you’re like holy shit this is it the abominable loch ness chupycabra has manifested in the australian outback and it’s going to eat me alive jesus christ protect me with the power of this bible

hence the sheer relief when the sun finally comes out and u can walk around without living in fear of accidentally walking face first into a spiderweb or scratchy lantana bushes

also a mini survey went around afterwards and i’m pretty sure a solid 60% of the girls took a shit on solo like… at long last u can take as long in the toilet as u want… without the other 27 girls banging on the door……

other miscellaneous stories that dont fit anywhere else:

one of the boys went missing?? he wandered off and couldn’t remember anything when they found him in the middle of the bush. cryptic

there was this one homesick girl who was REALLY homesick like she cried every day of the five weeks. by the end of the camp she’d approached everyone to talk about her Feelings and you’d just kind of groan softly when u saw her coming towards your bunk bc u knew u were in for a hopeless comforting session

on sundays sometimes we went to the nearby town’s elderly home to talk to the old folks and some of us could play music so we did little performances for them which was rly sweet!

there were lambs on the farm!! we named them Uggboot and i think Fleece Jacket or smth like that

there were cows too!! meat cows!! they were Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner

my first time on cow milking duty i tried to herd the bull towards the milking pens bc i did not realise he was not a cow. i quickly realised when he took very fast steps towards me and i Got The Dodge Out Of There

we spit roasted an entire pig for the final feast before we left and i will never forget it. the first time in my life i had crackling. half the group was weak in the knees cause we saw the pig get slaughtered and the other half was just “sweet, more for me”

whenever the new fruit delivery came in and the hunger games commenced in the kitchen… tween girls are actually ravenous wolves u heard it here first folks

when u going to the bathroom in the bush and u feel something touch your butt… is it a stray hair? is it a piece of grass? is it a bug??? who knows but nothing makes your bowels loosen faster

the unholy horror of finding spiders wherever you least expect it

ANTS IN THE SUGAR

“I saw Goody Proctor with the devil leaving the cupboard open for the ants!!!”

honestly so many things happened at Hell Camp that i can’t remember most of them anymore and it Rankles Me bc i know there were so many wild stories but here you go. some of the wildest ones.

11/10 went back to Hell Camp voluntarily once, would go back again again.

[bleuberrygliscor]

im not saying i am genuinely terrified of President Gumshoos’ unwavering stupidity and blatant lying.

i am saying that i am deathly afraid of what his stupidity and blatant lying while absentmindedly stroking his ego with his baby hands means for me and my city.

[thekillersareeatingtheflesh]

im gonna divide this up into parts because its kinda long

PART ONE: The Dawn of A Weird as Hell Situation

i told @neon-love-andromeda this part of the story at some point (i think??)

SO. my parents manage an apartment complex for this family that owns it and we employ people for them. the son of one of our employees is employed by my parents part time. we’ll call him Putz. so Putz comes up to my apartment (cause we live at the complex) and just randomly decides he’s gonna have a conversation with me. no idea why. so we’re talking and Putz just like, blurts “ur social skills arent that great, huh?”. now Putz is known for being awkward as all blue fuck. this boy was actually implying that my social skills are worse than his, which is obviously not true if he thinks its a-okay to say that kinda bs. so im like “im sorry but i have NO IDEA what to say to that.” and this fuckin boy says “i dont think you are” and im like “you dont think what??!” and he says!!! (THIS FUCKIN BOY) “i dont think ur sorry”

LIKE MOTHERFUCKER WHAT

SO MY DAD DECIDES THAT HE’S GONNA CHIME IN FOR WHATEVER REASON. this goes so shitty. unbelievably shitty. so dad says “tell Putz what you wanna be” and im like ?????? and dad says “you wanna be a hermit” and im just thinkin “WHY TF WOULD YOU SAY THAT”

this make the convorsation even worse, as Putz is now trying to explain to me why i cant really be a hermit. talkin to me like im a child. like im fuckin 10 years old. and i have to play a long cause what the hell else am i gonna do??? eventually he leaves and i assume this is a one time thing. i was wrong.

PART TWO: PUTZ BOOGALOO

he comes back a week later. i cant remember what he said but it was some shit. for some reason i remember that his dad made him come back and apologize but that could have really happened cause he’s still acting like an asshole. im gonna skip to the third time we talked.

we had mini cupcakes. mom makes me go outside and give him one. this prompts Putz to say somthing like “i bet this is the first time youve left the house today” i leave immediatly and go back inside. tell mom. she tells me this is my chance to call him out on his bullshit. i realize shes right and fucking run back outside at the speed of light.

i catch him before he’s gone. im almost yellin. “WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN TO ME ALL THE TIME. WHATS WRONG WITH YOU BOY” hes apologizin. says he doesnt know why. suddenly my little brothers out with us. hes talkin about mario and pokemon like always. randomly switches to talking about roblox. says “abby plays roblox!!!!” (abby is what my family calls me). Putz is like “oh i used to play that too, when i was a little kid.” he said it very pointedly. VERY pointedly. this solidifies that he thinks of me as a child, as if i am not only 2 years younger than his punk ass.

PART 3: MOM HAS A TERRIBLE IDEA

mom decides that me and Putz would be very good friends!!! great friends!!! just so fucking exellent friends!!!!!!! (she wanted me to date him but she pretends that she didnt lmao. (like yes mom you wanted me to date him dont fuckin lie)). she FUCKIN FORCES ME to ask him to go to the nutcracker with me. (the movie. this happned a while ago) SHE FUKIN FORCED ME. so i ask him. i say “hey i wanna go see the nutcracker but my parents dont wanna, do you wanna go with me” he gets this weirdass face, is like “ill have to uhhhhhhhh check my schedual.” i realize this dumb mf thinks im asking him on a date!!!!! 2 entire fuckin days later he calls me. its a no. so mom makes me ask him to go bowlling with him!!!!!!! she lets me bring the family with us, thank g-d. unfortunatly this includes my fuckass older brother who was visiting (i have some stories about him too). he and Putz talk about weird shit. my dad at some point tells Putz that i know a lot about murder. thats leads to a short and weird conversation that i dont quite remember cause i was think about beating my head in on the bowlling ball. he eats almost half our pizza even though he had already had dinner. never says thanks for inviting him. my mom promises that ill never have to talk to him again i dont want to. i havent seen him since.

do yall wanna hear about why i dont speak to my parent’s employee’s son anymore? cause that story isnt actually boring like the MET story