#hal realizes and throws the biggest fit

[realreadysetrose]

If Dirk did make Hal a robot body he’d make him left handed out of spite send post

[bangtantannie]

Sweet Americano

Word Count: 1.8K

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluffy ending

Rating: PG-13

Warning: I tried fluff again, other than that there are no other trigger warnings

A/N: Helloooo,,, wow writer Hal has come out of hibernation for the sake of requests. This is dedicated to Mae @tinyjhs who requested this AGES ago. Sorry it took so long,,, with this posted.... I think you know what comes next [insert devil emoji here] Anyway,,, I hope you enjoy my fic I especially hope you enjoy it Mae :(( I think I’m getting rusty. I have one more request to write,, so hopefully keep your eye out for that as well!!

Requests are open!! And my inbox is always open for feedback ^.^

Summary: Cup of coffee in hand, Jungkook is buried in the bitter aftertaste of caffeine and a relationship he shouldn’t have let go.

Enjoy~~~

Americanos are extremely bitter; it had Jungkook clenching his jaw at the sharp taste as the caffeine swirled around his tongue. It was a known fact among him, his members, and his fans that he had an aversion for the bitter drink; but very few knew he actually had some form of unhealthy attachment to the drink despite it being one of the worst things in existence. He unconsciously found himself sipping at the dark beverage too often, and it only increased tenfold after his career took off. Each sip of the iced drink brought a different memory to the surface, her laugh, her smile, her scent, her coffee kisses. Each swirl of the bitter beverage took him back to everything that reminded him of her – soft, silky strands of hair, late nights spent studying, staying awake in class running on the sheer power of caffeine and willpower. Americanos were the closest he could get to her – the one he shouldn’t have let go for the sake of his career.

It hurt, realizing he was here now because of her sacrifice.

Jungkook had a hard time getting back on his feet after the breakup. It was just the previous night that they were promising to achieve their dreams together, to be there for each other forever. Y/n suddenly giving him the cold shoulder and leaving him without a second thought was like throwing a bucket of water on him. Suddenly everything was colder, clearer. It was hard to get it together, but with the push of the boys, he found it in himself to start focusing on his career. Jungkook buried himself in work and practice and management couldn’t be any happier about the results that came from his focus and determination. Little did they know all his efforts were because of Y/n. He wanted to show her what she could’ve had, what they could’ve been. He wanted his name to be everywhere and his face plastered on every surface all over the world, so that she could never forget him – no matter where she went. Hearing that management could be the reason why the best person in his life dropped him as if he were deadweight had him reeling.

Why was he singing? What did he want in life? Was he happy with what he was doing now? Jungkook hadn’t questioned his dream in a long time, not since he saw Namjoon rapping for the first time.

Jungkook stirred his drink mindlessly, imagining what life would’ve been like if he had stayed with Y/n. He should’ve known that she wasn’t one to have a change of heart so suddenly. She wouldn’t have let him go if it wasn’t for his sake. After all, she was one to put another’s need before hers, even if it meant hurting herself in the process. Never had Jungkook missed someone so much. It was like there was a hole in his heart; as if a part of his soul had been left behind somewhere – with someone. If fate would have it, Jungkook would latch on to Y/n and never let go again if she ever stumbled back into his life.

“Jungkook?” A woman’s voice echoed in his ears.

His attention was immediately directed toward the woman standing before him. She was awfully familiar. Granted, most of her face had been hidden by a hat and a black mask – much like his own. But the sweet smell of caramel caused feelings of nostalgia to rise from within. She smelled just like Y/n.

Internally sighing that it wasn’t a fan that had deduced it was him, he started to study the woman. She wasn’t an idol, but because rookies have come and gone throughout the years, he couldn’t exactly rule out the possibility either.

“Hello…” Jungkook trailed hesitantly. If she was someone he had worked with in the past, her name wasn’t coming to mind.

“Ah, of course, you wouldn’t recognize me,” the woman responded, immediately reaching up to pull the mask off her face.

Jungkook couldn’t help but gasp. His wish had come true.

-------

Jungkook sighed as he sat at the bench, sipping the iced americano. One month had passed ever since he ran into Y/n. One week had passed ever since Jungkook asked her out on a date. Three days had passed since he helped Y/n move the last of her things into boxes. She got a job offer in Brazil and was preparing to make the temporary move, but if everything worked in her favor, she would be making her stay permanent. Jungkook just couldn’t bring himself to see her off, and he had already said his goodbyes after helping her pack for her move.

Jungkook swirled his cup around, the ice slowly melting in the plastic cup.

She was the one that had introduced him to the bitter taste of Americanos.

The first time the bitter liquid was introduced to his taste buds was a memory Jungkook recalled with a smile. He had spent nearly the entire day with her studying for a final exam in the library. After a few hours of her fidgeting, Jungkook had decided he had enough and sent her to the closest café to pick up some caffeine for the late night that was in their immediate future. The instant she set the drinks on the table, Jungkook immediately took a cup and practically tried to inhale the beverage. she could only hopelessly watch as he quickly realized that he was not drinking his usual caramel macchiato – and proceeded to sputter as he regurgitated her Americano. To say his tastebuds did not take the beverage well is an understatement.

He had only himself to blame for letting her go, again. He should’ve fought ten times harder to stay with her the first time around despite management being against their relationship, he just didn’t think they would go as far as to wedge their way into Y/n’s mind. He should’ve fought fifty times harder this time around because it was as if fate wanted them to be together by practically handing her over on a platter. But this time he had to be the one to let her go. She was finally going to achieve her biggest dream, one she’d been fantasizing about ever since they met. He wasn’t going to be the one to hold her back, not after her sacrifice. Tears missing his cup by a hair, Jungkook sipped at his bitter drink. He couldn’t help but think about the day he met Y/n, the day that changed his life.

She caught his eye in dance.

No one could deny Jungkook was terribly shy when he was young. And the fact that he had a crush mortified him. But she was just, stunning. Others in the class could easily refute him and say there were better girls in the school, more talented, better looking, more popular. But Jungkook wasn’t looking for spectacular, he wanted something more… normal. And she was just what he was looking for. The third week of dance was the day she caught his eye. The way she nervously fidgeted with the hem of her shirt as she stepped away from the wall when the teacher asked her to demonstrate for the class. her dancing took his breath away. Although it was a little rough around the edges, it was still beautiful to see nonetheless. The fluid movement of her limbs and the playful push and pull of different emotions going into each move caught his attention, but it was the intense glint in her eye that stole his breath. She meticulously evaluated her fluid movements, leaving no minor detail unnoticed and almost no room for error. Once her demonstration had ended, he was sold the second his eyes met hers in the mirror, and the cold intensity in her eyes instantly melted into a gentle warmth. Jungkook knew he was a goner when she approached him immediately after to ask–

“Is this seat taken?”

Jungkook’s eyes snapped from the diminishing contents of his cup to meet a pair of gentle eyes that almost threw him five years into the past. Although it felt as if time around them slowed, the reaction within him was immediate. His palms started to sweat, his heart started to soar, and he gulped his caffeinated drink from utter shock. Much of the baby fat that used to be on her cheeks had disappeared, leaving a small, defined face. Their uniform had been replaced with a casual outfit fit for a long period of sitting. Shoulder length hair had grown to the woman’s midsection. Years had gone by, but the small dimple in her smile was still there. The ring he had given her their first year of high school peeked through the opening of her blouse.

“Y/n.” Jungkook blurted in a daze as she promptly perched herself by Jungkook’s side on the park bench

“Jungkook.” Y/n giggled, adoration dripping from her voice.

“You- you shouldn’t be here. Your plane should be leaving any min-“

“I couldn’t take the job.” Y/n shrugged, taking the cup from Jungkook’s hand and happily sipping her favorite drink.

“Wha- why?” Jungkook sputtered. What happened? Did they take back the offer?

“If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, it’s meant to be.” She replied, smiling softly while looking into the eyes of her first love.

Those were the exact words Hoseok told Jungkook when Y/n broke up with him. It didn’t take much thought to guess where Y/n heard that from. If Jungkook’s memory served him correctly, Hoseok had taken quite the liking toward Y/n and he had practically taken her in as a little sister.

“I-“ Unable to form words, Jungkook resorted to acting on instinct. Taking both sides of her head gently, he quickly crushed his lips to hers in hopes of conveying all his feelings in a desperate, but passionate kiss. Although stunned, she quickly gathered her wits to move her lips against his in a fiery dance. Jungkook reveled in everything he could take in about her. The faint taste of the caffeine on her lips, the sweet smell of caramel from her perfume, skin that was smooth to the touch and hair that was silkier than velvet. Reluctantly, the pair pulled away from each other, looking deeply into each other’s eyes.

“Well, that’s one way to start a relationship.” Y/n said, pulling Jungkook out of his trance and wiping the tears trekking down his face lovingly.

He blinked curiously, needing a moment to process what she said. A smile broke out on Y/n’s response to the bunny-like smile that cracked on Jungkook’s face, which was soon followed by laughter. Realizing that Y/n hadn’t changed at all after all these years, Jungkook pulled Y/n in again for a gentle, caffeinated kiss.

Maybe americanos were sweet after all.

[ty-talks-comics]

Best of DC: Week of July 31st, 2019

Best of this Week: Batman: Last Knight on Earth #2 - Scott Snyder, Greg Capullo, Jonathan Glapion, FCO Plascencia and Tom Napolitano

The last case Batman will ever solve, might just be his most terrifying.

Beginning with Batman confronting an older Joe Chill in the past over the dead child in Crime Alley that looks eerily similar to Bruce. Our hero kind of surprises and disarms him by removing all of the weapons he’s hidden around his apartment. Chill seems to have been expecting him, preparing what he calls an “end of an era feast” for Bruce, implying he knows his identity. To make matters even more interesting, he insinuates that he didn’t even kill the Waynes for Marth pearls and makes it seem like there was an even larger plan afoot than anyone realized.

Cutting back to the Nightmare future, Batman and Joker’s Head are taken by surprise as a Speed Force Storm tears through the desert. Never let it be said that Greg Capullo hasn’t been improving his skills at body horror because the tornado is terrifying. Consisting of the constantly shifting, twisting and stretched bodies of Barry Allen, Bart Allen, Jay Garrick and possibly others, the faces scream and cry for Bruce to help them. It’s a shocking and unsettling sight as one can almost hear the deafening cries of atom splitting agony that they’re going through. The deep red of the storm doesn’t help as it just makes things FAR more threatening than they need to be. Bruce and Joker sit in a cave for safety while Bruce laments that there is absolutely nothing that he can do to save them.

The pair continue on, hang gliding through the air, crossing over a base named Fort Waller. Joker tells Batman that originally it was the last bastion of hope, where Mr. Terrific, Dr. Sivana, Ivo and others could combine their knowledge with the powers of the new avatars of the Green and Red to repel those incensed by Luthor. Batman asks him what happens and Joker’s narration ends as they watch the battle. Unknown Soldiers fighting abominations of the Red in a hellish battle of blood and fire until a Swamp Thing appears from the crimson dust of their fight, no longer appearing to have any faculties or emotion other than: KILL.

The tone shifts as they reach an area known as the Plains of Solitude, seeming a mass of crystalline structures similar to Superman’s secret base. The cool blues of this area offer something of a safety in a book that has otherwise been overbearingly tense since it began. It doesn’t help that Joker’s been doing variations of “can I be Robin, are we there yet, and knock knock jokes the entire time. Bruce snaps that he could never be Robin because Robin was a good guy and who in this world was still like that? Pods shaped like Superman’s baby rocket start landing close to Bruce and Joker before the pair are saved by… Superman?

Or so we think, this “very talkative” (end sarcasm) Superman leads the pair to a farmhouse in the middle of the plains where a surprisingly alive and potentially insane Lex Luthor greets them. Batman, furious at the state of this world demands to know what happened, what did Luthor do? Luthor answers that he had a debate with Superman. What makes this so interesting is that, Luthor says that he knows that he should have lost. The stakes were such that, the loser would be impaled by spike of Kryptonite and Luthor, having almost crapped himself a speech mostly using platitudes from others in his own words, didn’t hold a candle to Ka-El… but in the end, Superman ends up skewered and the world goes to hell with him.

It begs the question of, what happened? Did all of the people just side with Luthor on impulse? Did something happen to sway them or was someone else manipulating things? Everything is speculation. Things are cut short, however as Bane and Scarecrow show up to punish Luthor and bring Batman to their new God, Omega. Bane appears to be absolutely rotting with venom as his veins are green and his skin is pale. Scarecrow looks absolutely scraggly with long, gnarled fingers with syringes at the end of his fingers. Scarecrow has poisoned the Superman clone and forces him to try and break the Bat.

Suddenly, as Superman lifts Batman above his head, a sword pierces his chest as it’s revealed that Wonder Woman has returned to save the Caped Crusader. The two are told to run away by Luthor, to save the world as he opens a portal for them and is summarily torn apart by other infected Superman Clones. 

We see the full extent of the utter destruction Luthor’s actions have caused as they land on the cloak of The Spectre. Wonder Woman tells Batman that the fighting eventually spilled over and destroyed both Heaven and Hell. It only makes sense, doesn’t it? The forces of magic are very powerful in the DC Universe. How much trouble would it take for a Mordru or Neron to tangle with Doctor Fate or Zatanna, culminating in the ruination of the afterlife, damning everyone to a non-existence at the end of everything?

They enter the cloak and take a ride down the River Styx. Diana tells Bruce that the voices of the dead will be calling out to him for sending them there. Capullo stuns with a double page spread of many of DCs biggest heroes, showing Batman the sheer weight of what his as-of-yet unknown role in Luthor’s scheme was. There are far too many to name, but I will say that I appreciate Capullo putting Kyle Rayner among those in the front. His deaths in many alt-stories will always irk me, but I do like seeing him recognized and put higher than Hal Jordan or even John Stewart.

Things take an even darker turn as Alfred shows up among the dead and Batman almost climbs out of the little boat, knowing that he just saw Alfred not too long ago and he and Wonder Woman make it to the real Gotham City with a cliffhanger and a surprising reveal at the end.

Last Knight on Earth pulls no punches when it comes to depicting a desolate world where Doom wins. I want to say that it’s almost dour to the point of being almost being hopeless and that’s exactly what I love. I adore how much is being packed into this story, how many references to the greater DC universe we’re getting. Capullo’s art is probably the best it has been in years and the quality of the writing is right on part with Dark Knights: Metal. It’s a righteous trip as Batman lugs the annoying head of the Joker around like a planet hopping adventure. It’s really fun and very dark.

---------------------------------------------------

The world needs more Swamp Thing stories.

Runner Up: Justice League Dark Annual #1 - James Tynion IV, Ram V, Guillem March, Arif Prianto and Rob Leigh

This annual was dark, far darker than most of the Justice League Dark tales so far because of how self contained it was and the sheer weight of the situation therein. Sure, it wasn't a world ending cataclysm like the one they just stopped, but that doesn't make it any less horrible. I'd never heard of Ram V before, but their storytelling, combined with Guillem March's art makes me feel like I've been pulled back into the old days of Vertigo.

Magic is broken. After Wonder Woman and Zatanna used the Ruby of Life to repair the damage they did to magic after defeating the Lords of Order, magic itself is repairing itself, but in a manner that throws the old rules out of the window.

Consequently, the Parliament of Trees has been destroyed and now Swamp Thing has no one to answer to as the new Parliament of Flowers is seeking a new champion. After confronting Constantine about coming on as a consultant for the League, the con-man convinces Swamp Thing to go on the search for the new Avatar before he loses his humanity like Swampy did. Swamp thing tries to act like he doesn't care, but goes off to find the man.

The story descends into something of a tragedy as we're introduced to Oleander Sorrel, a flower botanist, and his wife Natasha. 

What makes this story so great is that, like the best Swamp Thing stories, it focuses on other characters and their own personal situations. The pair suffer in a broken marriage after the death of their son which causes Natasha to leave Oleander and himself delving deeper into his work, later resulting in his death. He becomes the Avatar of Flowers, but refuses to let go of his humanity after Swamp Thing tries to convince him that he is no longer a man.

He seeks out his wife and watches over her until Jason Woodrue, a very old DC villain that really hasn't been seen since the early days of The New 52, whispers in Oleanders ear. Oleander listens and suddenly a boy that looks very close to their son appears at the door. Natasha is happy, then another child appears and another until Natasha is absolutely blind with love for her new kids.

But not all gifts are good. There's no way that Woodrue doesn't get something out of this himself. There's always an underlying plot and Swamp Thing manages to uncover what really happened to Oleander. The fire that killed him was actually a pool of caustic that he laid in his flower bed and kills himself in. Oleander did die in the pool, but his memory lived on in the flowers that he planted. This revelation stuns Oleander and the children he created out of flowers begin to dissipate. He grows weary, knowing that Swamp Thing was right and Woodrue manages to convince him to rest for a while before feasting upon his flower flesh, regaining his own connection to The Green.

This annual definitely fit the title. It was Dark, not only from a storytelling standpoint, but also visually. Natasha’s post crying face was heart wrenching to see and Gullem March squeezed every bit of emotion out of it that he could. Her lips quivered, her eye makeup ran just a bit and there was a hopelessness that could be felt. Oleander’s transformation was a beautiful kind of macabre with his appearance, composed entirely of flowers, looking very sinewy and skeletal at the same time. Colors are very warm, juxtaposed against an ever growing sense of dread that culminated in the most haunting scene of Oleander growing more and more flower children. The shot is perfect as Oleander is shown to be a hapless man whose only intent is to make his wife happy, but his methods are horrifying almost wrong.

When the children begin to disappear following the revelation, light is shown on them while the background remains dark. Their petals waft away with the night winds as Natasha has to watch in horror, likely to be absolutely broken by the experience of losing her kids. Woodrue eating Oleander afterwards, however, is brutal. The color shifts to a deep red and Woodrue furiously munches on the flowers, gnawing and tearing his way into Oleander’s body and emerging as a new creature unto himself.

I haven’t been able to find anything about this Ram V person, but I want to read more of their work. This book was absolutely stunning and I hope that it does well enough to warrant another Swamp Thing mini-series or full run. Amidst the cancellation of the show after just one season, it’s definitely something the world needs more of. This story was chilling, well paced and had a great focus on someone else while keeping it’s main star tangential as he should be in things like these. This is a definite high recommend from me.

[bratdroid-blog]

The love story of the century, in cinemas now. 

@paradoxidolatry

Coco

> You have the smuggest smug smile to ever smug on your face as you start singing for your boyfriend. 

 "Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. 

I'm half crazy all for the love of you. 

It won't be a stylish marriage. 

I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet upon the seat. 

Of a bicycle built for two."

Carro

> You are blushing ear to ear, and though you've got your mouth covered with the heel of your hand, you are grinning widely and earnestly.  You laugh, a bit breathlessly. 

 "Hal..."

Coco

> Aw yeah, that's what you lose to see. You were already feeling extra soft after last night, filled with Anime, sentimental moments and soft touches. A good reminder of why exactly you do love this man despite all his flaws. 

> You quickly pull him into a embrace, and press a sweet little kiss on his face.

"So, what do you say, Daisy?"

Carro

> You are, by all counts, a big man.  Not the biggest, no, especially in this city of meaty mobsters and bodybuilders, but you know you're fairly tall and well-built for a regular ass human.  But that doesn't stop you from feeling so small right in this moment, arms wrapped around Hal, just.  Absolutely lit up like a Christmas tree. 

> You're still grinning. 

 "You... are you serious....?"

Coco

"I don't sing Daisy Bell for just anyone, dude. Told you: It's always been just you.  I won't ever sing it for anyone else."

> You just wanted to tease him but... The moment seems just a bit too perfect to back out now. This isn't something you had ever expected or calculated but that alone makes it worth it. The unknown is exciting when you get to take the jump with your lover. 

> Weird. Were you always THIS gay?

Carro

> You are....for lack of better word, speechless.  Your mouth flaps uselessly and soundlessly for a few moments, floundering for something intelligent and witty to say, and you come up painfully, awkwardly short. 

> But you do find some words, and those words have a strange, exciting shape: "...Fuck it.  Yeah.  Yeah, sure, yes, let's.  I'd love to... I.  Yes, Hal."

Coco

> Just watching him struggle to form a sentence is already enough of a reward but the words that do end up leaving his mouth?  Make you wish you had a heart to skip a beat. 

> Once again it's a blessing that you can kiss him deeply and talk at the same time. 

"Then let's do it, Daisy Bell. You're going to be mine forever, and I'll be yours."

Carro

> You laugh again against his lips and you throw all of yourself into that kiss.  You feel 17 again--light and excited and hopeful for the future to come. 

"No one else's." 

> Shit, are you crying?  You sniff and lean back to swipe at your eyes.  Fuck, you've been doing this weaksauce shit a lot lately.  Goddamn you, Hal--reminding you that you, in fact, still have a heart.  You take a moment to step away and breathe, fan yourself off a bit, but you're still grinning. 

"Well, fuck, alright, so this is happening.  How's it happening? When? We gonna do a whole ass white wedding or?"

Coco

> This is all you ever wanted for him, and if a silly human tradition is what it takes to have him feel that again, you will gladly go along with it. You don't think either of you has ever so much as seriously thought about marriage, let alone considered getting married yourself but damn. If not him, who else? You give him his moment, but the smile on you face doesn't die for a second. Your eyes may be artificial creations but the love in your gaze is as real as it can be.  It's always been all for him. 

"Well...Don't have a ring right or anything for you babe, but I was thinking we should do something more permanent anyways. You're into tattoos yeah?"

You had considered that one for a while at least, if not in the context of god damn marriage. 

"Right now, is what I want to say but I'm afraid my papers aren't official quite yet. That means I have time to get the prettiest damn wedding dress this shit moon has ever seen though, so there's that."

Carro

> A tattoo wedding band.  Well, shit goddamn.  If that ain't just the best idea you've ever heard.  He's already given you a nice scar to mark you by.  Why not a tattoo? 

 "Fuck yeah... Fuck yeah, aight, we can do a tattoo.  Maybe engrave your finger or somethin'... get a ring to slow in it later, but just like, something to always have around that can't get lost."

God, what is this feeling?  Is this the human emotion called marriage? Aaaand then there's the papers. 

"Shit, that's right... How long's that supposed to take, anyway?"

Coco

"That's exactly what I was going to suggest. Let's do this shit. You got a tattoo shop of choice who will take us on today?" 

> You are literally buzzing with excitement. This joke got real fast but you are not complaining. 

"I'm gonna beg the Queen for this shit, dude. Bitch is a major sucker for this gay shit, I think we have good chances at getting this. About...Sec. About 80%. Messaging her as we speak."

Carro

"Might be able to find someone, but if not, y'know... I trusted you with a scalpel, I think I can trusts you with inking me up." 

> You might also literally be buzzing with excitement, and then your jaw drops. 

"You're- seriously? The Queen? Right now?"

Coco

"Aw babe... Sure, I can do it if you got the equipment." 

> That's even better actually. You haven't done this before, but with the power of internet tutorials? No biggie. 

"Fuck yeah I am. Look, we're both not great with authority and whatever, but she runs this damn gay ass moon and she adores me. Might as well use that to get my gay on. right?"

Carro

"Sure do.  I'll dig it up after the uh, the wedding I guess." 

> You laugh, and you nod, and then you... you exhale deeply, scrubbing your face with your hands as the depth of what's happening slams into you. 

"Holy fuck, we're getting married.  For real.  Tonight."

Coco

"Fuck yeah we are. She said yes. Gotta get our asses to the courthouse asap, dude." 

> Yeah, you really are vibrating with excitement. You are running too hot already, but not to the point where you are going to fry your brain for good. Just the good, gay warmth. 

> You couldn't possibly resist pulling him close for another deep kiss. 

"God. I love you so much, you piece of shit. How dare you do this to me." 

> That about sums up your relationship, yeah.

Carro

> And now you're back out of your intense spiral with a laugh and a kiss.  You hug him tight and you kiss him again and again until you are utterly breathless. 

"Cuz I fuckin love you with every little ... gay-ass bit of my heart, you motherfucker.  I can't fuckin believe us, goddamn U-haul gays.  'Hey, long time no see, you wanna move in and get hitched, maybe?'"

Coco

"You said it yourself, we've already been an old married couple before I got this sweet bod of mine. It's only right to make it official, yeah?" 

> God, you can hardly believe this yourself. Best stupid decision that started as a joke you made in your whole damn life though. 

"Can't wait to start my new life as an official, real ass person by marrying you. Seems fitting. You are stuck with me forever now."

Carro

> You lean in and touch your forehead to his, staring deep into those beautiful fuckin robo eyes. 

"There's nobody I'd rather be stuck with."

Coco

"That's fucking gay, dude." 

> And you love it, so much. Your hands cup his face, itching to be as  close as possible. 

 "Not gay if it's with a robot, right?"

Carro

> You smile somewhat bashfully at Hal and you shrug lightly. 

"...Might still be pretty gay, even with a robot."

Coco

> Oh wow. Is that what it takes to make Dirk Strider finally fucking realize he is indeed, fucking gay? Just a little gay marriage, huh? You said you wouldn't push it though, so you don't. 

"Glad I get to be your gay robot exception, dude. Couldn't be happier."

Carro

> You're glad he doesn't push it; you're still gonna be struggling with that one for a while, but... But this? This is good.  Great, even. Perfect, actually. 

> You kiss him again, and don't let up for a long time, before murmuring, 

"Gotta get dressed and get going, I guess.  Gonna go pick up Sock along the way.  Is Dave... here? We gonna have to pick him up too?"

Coco

> You could spend another few hours kissing him, but you will have plenty of time for that after he becomes your husband. What a weird thought that is. Has you smiling all over again. Seems like your face is stuck like that for now. 

"Shit, I don't have any formal clothes dude. How embarrassing is that?" 

> Not that you really give a flying fuck over getting married in your usual clothes. 

"Yeah, here's hoping he'll be ready in under an hour."

Carro

"Haha, I don't think I've got my good shit out and ready... You can, uh... borrow some of mine, if you want, though? I mean, shit, you could just go naked and I'd be happy." 

> You, though, are already stripping off your BIG MILK t-shirt and looking for a clean, half-decent button-up. 

"He better be.  We got twenty minutes before Sock's ready to pick up."

Coco

"You think all of Derse is ready for my beautiful bod, though?"

That's really the main reason you even bother with clothes at all when you leave the house. Looking at least a bit more normal. Not that you exactly care for anyone's opinion, just makes shit easier. 

"Sure, that's romantic right? Boyfriend style is in yeah? Or husband in this case."

Carro

A shudder runs visible through you and your turn a grin back at Hal. 

"Say that again."

Coco

"Nu uh. Not yet, my dude. Gotta earn the H word first."

Carro

"Awww, c'mon." 

You laugh and then you rummage through your closet until you find a dark red button up for Hal, with silvery white pinstripes. 

"Just once."

Coco

> Aw it's your color. He does care. That earns him a quick peck on the lips. 

"Fine. You are my motherfucking husbando, Dirk. Better than any fucking anime guy, even Android 17."

Carro

"Shit goddamn.  Even Android 17, for real?  I must be special." 

> You wink and then toss on an orange shit and a black jacket and slacks, before fishing out a matching pair for Hal. 

"Does that also make you the husbando? Or is one of us the waifu?"

Coco

"I mean, i ain't giving up on my figures of him for you, but yeah. I'm choosing you over my anime boyfriend." 

> That's love bitch. 

 > This is actually yet another first for you, first time putting on a suit. That shit's not rocket science though. 

 "A family can be two husbandos and their two baby brothers, who are also dating. Y'know. That sounds exactly like an anime plot actually." 

> Thank god that you are not living in an anime, or this shit would be way weird.

Carro

> Jokes on you, life is the ultimate anime. 

> But you laugh and you get yourself sorted out, throwing a white tie around your neck but not quite tying it yet.  You turn to Hal and look to see if he needs any help...but mostly? You're just staring at him, in awe and full of warm, gay, fuzzy-ass dokis. 

"Guess you've got a point there.  Life with the Striders is my favorite fuckin anime this season."

Coco

> You have never tied a tie in your life, but you tie his like you've never done anything else in your life. You are a quick learner after all. 

 "Yeah same..Hey babe?" 

> There's never been as good of a moment to get gay. You continue your song from earlier, just for him. 

"We will go tandem as man and husbando

Daisy, Daisy 

Peddling our way down the road of life 

I and my daisy bell 

When the roads dark we can both despise 

Policemen and the lamps as well 

There are bright lights in those dazzling eyes 

Of beautiful daisy bell" 

> Naturally a song from 1892 did not in fact include the word husbando, but sometimes you just gotta get creative.(edited)

Carro

> Ohhhhh, Hal, you fucker, you've done it now. 

> There are actual, real tears running down your face, and you're stuck halfway between mopping them up, and just covering your face, and you really can't decide what to do with your hands, so you instead place them on Hal's hips instead of anywhere near the vicinity of you.  You're laughing, and you lean in to kiss him again. 

> If you could, you'd never stop kissing him. 

> Also you can't believe a song from 1892 is your song, but hey you wouldn't have it any other way.  Except maybe a hip-hop cover of the song, down the road. 

"I love you."

Coco

"Love you too, Daisy Bell." 

> You gladly kiss him again as you gently wipe some of those tears again. God, look at the two of you, getting all sorts of gay in fucking record time. You both really needed this for a long ass time, didn't you? 

> You are far too happy to ruin this by psychoanalyzing everything about it, not in this very moment at least.

[randomrichards]

OSCAR 2019 PREDICTIONS: BEST PICTURE

·         BLACK PANTHER

We begin with the first Superhero movie to be nominated in this category.

After the death of his father, T’Challa (Chadwick Boseman) takes his place as King of Wakanda, a fictional African Country that keeps its futuristic technology under wraps from the outside world. It means wearing the mask of Black Panther, a superhero with extra strength and agility. But he finds his throne threatened when Erik Killmonger (Michael B. Jordan) arrives to avenge his father (Sterling K. Brown) and make them answer for their isolationist policies. Now T’Challa will have to confront the sins of his father and question his preconceived worldviews to maintain his place as king.

When it comes to appeal, I notice similarities between this movie and the original Star Trek. Like Star Trek, this film offers an optimistic view of humanity where people are reaching their full potential, making gadgets for the benefit of others. Of course, what sells them is how unique and detailed their worlds are. Wakanda is a paradise where people hold on to their culture and traditions while creating the most advanced technology. They both offer a variety of memorable characters, with Black Panther’s world including T’Challa’s snarky young tech whiz sister Shuri (Letita Wright), his stern head guard Okoye (Danai Gurira) and larger-than-life villain Ulysses Klaue (Andy Serkis).

But like Star Trek, many people are turned off by Black Panther’s delivery. Many couldn’t get into the slow pacing of both franchises, finding them boring.[1] Many also found T’Challa to be too passive a protagonist; lacking a central motivation to drive the story, even those who found him engaging in Captain America: Civil War. There are some who would argue Killmonger was more of a protagonist since he has a clear goal and sets everything in motion. Both Star Trek and Black Panther have been criticized for their lackluster fight scenes and special effects. The fight scenes in Black Panther are certainly a huge set back. The camera is almost always too close and the film edits way too quickly. It looks way different from how director Ryan Coogler shot the boxing scenes in Creed. For that, you have Marvel Studios to blame for their overbearing control over their films and fear of risks. It’s kind of prevents this film from reaching its full potential.

What really annoyed me was the obvious death fake out. It’s a cliché that everyone can figure out and it needs to die.

It’s all in whether you can take the good or the bad.

·         BLACKKKLANSMAN

Based on the true story of the first black cop of Colorado Springs.

After finding an ad in the paper, Ron Stallworth (John David Washington) calls them under the disguise of a disgruntled racist. To pull this off, he has fellow cop Flip Zimmerman (Adam Driver) pass himself off as him to get into the Klan. When the clan plots a bombing, Ron and Flip must race against time to stop them.

From the opening scene of Kennebrew Beauregard flubbing his way through a racist rant, Spike Lee takes a comedic approach to the Klan. When the cops struggle to hold their laughter when Ron calls Klan leader David Duke (Topher Grace), you can’t help but take giddy pleasure in it. Plus, seeing Duke try to act tough in front of Stallworth (not realizing he’s the one whose been calling him) looks silly. But as the film progresses, Lee reminds us that these people are very dangerous people. No one embodies this more than Felix (Jasper Paakkonen), a paranoid, hostile lunatic. Plus, not every Klan member fits the inbred redneck stereotype associated with the Klan, remind us that they could be anyone, even members of the Defense Force. Plus, they have been making a recent comeback as indicated in the final scenes.

Through Ron, Spike Lee takes on the perspective of a black man reforming the system from the inside. Throughout the film, Ron encounters people who challenges him. Student activist Patrice (Laura Harrier) sees the police force as an unfixable racist system. He’s expected to put up with the very racist cop Landers (Frederick Weller). When Ron claims “America will never elect a racist like David Duke” a white cop counters with “Coming from a black man’ that’s incredibly naïve. Wake up.”[2]

I want to conclude with a powerful scene. At a student rally, speaker Jerome Turner (civil rights activist and singer Harry Belafonte) discusses how black men were brutally murdered in lynching after the premiere of Birth of a Nation a 1914 silent film that glorified the KKK while portraying black people in the most vicious stereotypes. Cut to the Klan watching the film with sadistic glee. You could imagine them celebrating a lynching like the fourth of July.

·         BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY

This biopic looks at the life of Freddy Mercury, lead singer of Queen and one of the most charismatic front-men in Rock History.

I’m just going to say it; I hate this movie. A lot. It feels more like a smear campaign than a tribute. It seems to do everything it can to sully the reputation of Mercury, who’s not alive to tell his side of the story. It also embodies everything wrong with biopics.

First, the film tries so hard to fit every event of Queen’s career, but never gives any of the scenes time to develop them. They seemed more focused on fitting Queen songs than telling a good story. If that wasn’t enough, they also try to fit in every cliché found in music biopics. Disapproving parents? Check. Naysayer record executive? Check. Descent into drug addiction? Check. Singer cleaning himself up while learning humility in time to get the band back together for their most memorable concert? Check, Check and Check! This just comes off as lazy.

But what makes this so egregious is the level in which they twist the facts to fit into these clichés. While I get that screenwriters must tweak a person’s life to form a coherent story, but this one is just abusive. Nowhere is this truer than when the band get indignant about Freddy Mercury creating a solo album, accusing him of “killing Queen.” Considering that two of the members already made solo albums before Freddy did, you can’t help but get angry at the hypocrisy. Then they claim this broke up the band, when in real life they only took a break because they were burnt out. But none is worst then when they used Freddy Mercury’s AIDS diagnosis as a motivational tool to bring the band back together[3] in time for Live Aid. What makes this sick is that Freddy wasn’t diagnosed until two years after this concert. How the writers think all this lying is ok baffles my mind.

And then you remember this film got approval from two of Queen’s band members. No wonder, they’re practically portrayed as saints who arrive to work on time, leave parties early to be with their families and never do anything wrong. Meanwhile, Freddy’s character is dragged in the mud, portrayed as an unprofessional, narcissistic junkie. I don’t know what axe the band members they had to grind, but they must be petty to think this is how you treat your friend. Contrast that with Straight Outta Compton, which treated Easy-E with great respect, even with his misguided loyalty to his manager.

I pity the wasted talent of Malek, who gave a much better performance than this film deserved. This film leaves a bad taste in my mouth

·         THE FAVOURITE

Welcome to 18th Century England, where the kingdom is led by Queen Anne (Olivia Colman), a fussy brat trapped in a frail woman’s body. And she’s being led by Lady Sarah (Rachel Weisz), a proper lady who assists her with political decisions...and sexual pleasures. But then comes Abigail, a former lady forced into servitude after her father loses everything. But after healing the Queen’s infected leg, Abigail rises in the ranks, charming the Queen along the way. Thus, begins a battle of will for the favour of the queen. This battle catches the eye nobleman Harley, who seeks Abigail’s help so he can stop the war with France.

Alongside Christopher Nolan, Yorgos Lanthimos is the closest we are going to get to Kubrick. While Nolan’s influences lean toward 2001: A Space Odyssey, Lanthimos clearly draws from Barry Lyndon for this film. Like Kubrick, he presents a cold, distant presences in his films, from the cinematography to the low-key acting. It works for this film with every character maintaining a prim and proper demeanor while hiding their nefarious purposes.

Like Kubrick, Lanthimos has a dark sense of humour that exposes the absurdity of appearances. Throughout the film, we see noblemen and women misbehaving behind clothes door. But the biggest laugh come from the Queen herself. Colman must have been having a blast in this role as she throws one temper tantrums.

Like Kubrick, this director isn’t for everyone.

·         GREEN BOOK

Inspired by a true story.

When the nightclub he works in closes for renovations, Bouncer Tony Lip (Viggo Mortensen) has three ways to earn a living; win multiple eating contests, work for the mob or drive pianist Dr. Don Shirley (Mahershala Ali) across the Deep South for a music tour. He goes for the third choice. At first the two can’t get along, with Don not matching Tony’s preconceptions of black people and Don wishing Tony would try to act classier. But as Tony sees the shit Don must put up with, they come to form a friendship.

It still surprises me that this film was directed by the co-creator of Dumb and Dumber and There’s Something About Mary. But when you think about it, Peter Farrelly is the perfect director for this movie. Some of his films are road movies. If you look past the gross out jokes of his previous films, the biggest laughs come from the interactions between actors. Mortensen and Ali bounce off each other, creating believable interactions both funny and emotional.

It’s worth noting that after Mary, Peter and his brother Bobby tried to use their comedy style to create a more sensitive portrayals of marginalized groups, whether it’s the overweight (Shallow Hal) or conjoined twins (Stuck on You). The problem was they still making fat/disability jokes in between these sentimental moments; trying to have their cake and eat it too. It seems Peter has learned his lesson and turned his target on the type of people who would make fun of those who would make fun of these people. The film goes after Tony’s casual racism as he makes preconceived notions of Don, who serves as the straight man who corrects Tony. The film also takes some jabs at the so-called southern gentleman, exposing their phoniness when one host tries to pronounce Tony’s real name.

But if you take out the two actors, the film isn’t really anything special. It’s essentially Driving Ms. Daisy with the races reversed. You’ll enjoy the interactions, but it’s not as interesting as the other nominees.

·         ROMA

Alfonso Cuaron draws from his persona life to pay tribute to the maid who cared for his family.

Set in 1970s Mexico City, indigenous housekeeper Cleo (Yalitza Aparicio) cleans the house for Dr. Antonio (Fernando Grediaga), his wife Sofia (Marina de Tavira) and their four children Tono, Paco, Pepe, Sofi. She has practically become a member of the family. Their bond is tested when Cleo becomes pregnant and ends up abandoned by her martial arts loving boyfriend Fermin (Jorge Antonio Guerrero).

Slice of life stories must be one of the hardest type of stories to write. There’s no central goals or major conflict running that move the plot forward. There are little conflicts, but it’s just people going on their daily lives. Not only does a filmmaker face the challenge of making it look realistic, but to keep the audience engaged for two hours. Against these odds, Cuaron creates a beautiful portrait of family.

What helps is the actor’s performances. For her first role, Aparicio engages you with her sensitivity even when she’s just hanging clothes. The other actors match her every step of the way, feeling like a real family on screen.

But what truly sells the film is the beautiful black and white cinematography. Never has ordinary life looked so beautiful.

With these and Cuaron’s directing, the mundane becomes unforgettable. You remember the scene of Antonio trying to maneuver his car into the very tight garage. You remember Cleo and her friend running across Mexico City. You remember Cleo and Sofie’s mother picking out a crib. Little moments like these stay with you after you’ve finished watching it.

·         A STAR IS BORN

Jackson Maine (Bradley Cooper) is a country superstar struggling with alcoholism and the effects of tinnitus. Ally (Lady Gaga) is a wannabee songwriter rejected by many record labels for her appearance. One night, Jackson was looking for a place to drink when he stumbles upon Ally singing at a drag bar. After spending a night together, Jackson finds his passion for music rekindled as he helps her musical potential. So as her star rises, Ally finds herself unable to stop Jackson’s downward spiral until it gets to the point where it hurts her career.

Cooper shows a lot of potential in his directorial debut. This being the third remake of the classic 1937 film, he makes the old story feel refreshing and new. First, he uses Ally’s rise to fame to examine the shallow world of modern pop. Ally struggles to maintain her sense of self as a record producer (Rafi Gavron) tries to make her in the image of a pop star.[4] All the time, Jackson keeps reminding her to always have something to say.

Then he makes Jackson a complicated character. A former act, you could imagine Cooper exercising his demons through his character. Never once does he back away from the ugliness of Jacksons addiction, leading to a cringe inducing scene where he humiliates himself at the Oscars. But you come to understand this stems from a troubled relationship with his late father. Plus, he always pushes Ally to do better.

Cooper gets a lot of great performances out of this. He and Gaga have excellent chemistry, making the love between Jackson and Ally feel genuine. A lot of comedians give excellent dramatic performances including Dave Chappelle as Jackson’s friend Noodles and Andrew Dice Clay getting his second wind as Ally’s unfiltered yet supportive father. But the key standout is Sam Elliott as Jackson’s older brother/manager Bobby. In a powerful scene, Bobby berates his brother for idolizing their deadbeat father while never showing him any appreciation for his help.

On second viewing, I noticed the visual style. The colour red shines in moments of passion, starting with Jackson and Ally’s first date. The one little moment where Cooper’s storytelling skills shine is when Jackson makes a ring for her. When he puts it on her finger, all the sound fades out, with only a piano tune heard.

If he can keep this up, he is sure to become an extraordinary director.

·         VICE

Adam McKay seems determined to reinvent the biopic. With the rise of Vice President Dick Cheney (Christian Bale), he decided to experiment with storytelling. First, he has the story told by some middle-class family man (Jesse Plemons), not revealing his identity until late in the film. He uses the narrator to explain how certain aspects of politics work and the consequences Cheney’s politics have on America. Throughout the film, he undercuts the film with skits here and there. There some funny moments like one scene where the film demonstrates Cheney’s power of persuasion with him suggesting to fellow politicians to tie bows to their dicks and flap them around the white house. Other times, they fall flat, especially the post credit sequence. It feels like he was throwing everything at the wall and not even wait to see what sticks.

It doesn’t help that he’s still trying to make a straight forward biopic. Another example of trying to have your cake and eat it too. It results in an uneven, unfocused tone.

What I find interesting about the film is how we watch Cheney progress. At first, he is an alcoholic electrician who blew his chances at Yale. At first, you’re sympathetic to him as his wife forces him to clean himself up. As he goes into politics, he becomes intriguing as he finds himself comfortable as second in command to Donald Rumsfeld (Steve Carell). But when you see his policies and their consequences, your sympathy wanes. Then he grows more and more repulsive, even throwing his daughter Mary (Alison Pill) under the bus so his other daughter Liz (Lily Rabe) can win a Congressional position. You can’t help but feel anger at his actions, especially with the lack of remorse he has for his actions.

Who Will Win?

It’s a one on one between Green Book and Roma. The safe bet seems to be Green Book, but many want Roma to win.

[1] Personally, I thought the lack of motivation in the first hour was necessary for us to understand the traditions T’Challa and his family holds so dear.

[2] While this is a clear shot at Trump, this may as well be referencing Nixon, who stated he started the Drug War because “I couldn’t arrest people for being black.”

[3] Also, does anyone notice the band members never age even though this takes place over a decade?

[4] It’s kind of ironic for Ally to be resistant to flashy gimmicks when Lady Gaga is well known for her over the top costume designs.

[cover32-yahoopartner-blog]

cover32 Patriots Roundtable: Week 3 Edition

The Patriots finally got back on track with a resounding victory over the New Orleans Saints on Sunday. Now they have their sights on a familiar foe, the Houston Texans. Last week, the cover32 Patriots staff reacted to the beatdown at the hands of the Kansas City Chiefs. This week, we look back at the game against the Saints and look forward to the Texans. In addition, we dive into the Malcolm Butler situation.

The Participants:

Ian Glendon Patriots Editor and National Editor Mike D’Abate Chargers Editor and Patriots Writer Hal Bent Patriots Writer David Albiani Patriots Writer Chris Morgan Patriots Writer Jared Talbot Patriots Writer Adam Myers Patriots Writer

  1. What was your biggest takeaway from the Patriots win over the Saints?

Sep 17, 2017; New Orleans, LA, USA; New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady throws a pass during an NFL game against the New Orleans Saints in the Mercedes-Benz Superdome. Mandatory Credit: Scott Clause/The Advertiser via USA TODAY Sports

Glendon: The biggest takeaway is that the Patriots are still one of, if not THE best team in the NFL. The offense, despite being limited to just three receivers, looked unstoppable, albeit against the Saints. However, the Saints still play in the NFL. Against the Chiefs, the offense looked out of sync. Against the Saints, who are a better team at home, they looked like the well-oiled machine we have all come to know over the last several years.

D’Abate: It may sound elementary, but as long as the Patriots have Tom Brady under center, they will compete for a championship. That was my biggest takeaway from Sunday’s win against the Saints. Despite both expected and unexpected injuries to his targets, he looked like a candidate for MVP. He also showed that he hasn’t fallen off that “cliff”, much to the chagrin of those outside of New England. Going 30 of 39 passing, while racking up 447 yards and three touchdowns, is a great way to show the league that the Pats are not done and are still a force with which to be reckoned.

Albiani: The Patriots showed better fight defensively providing more steady pressure (although they didn’t technically try to rush vs the Chiefs) and also showed more discipline on the edge. They had a solid overall effort but still allowed seven catches for 75 yards to Mark Ingram and Alvin Kamara to the Saints backfield, something that will give the Pats fits all year. Overall loved the effort offensively and considering they held the Saints to just 20 points overall and seven in the second half in New Orleans is a huge building block for this team.

Bent:  The biggest takeaway from week two was the much-needed youth, energy, and athleticism on defense for the New England Patriots. The Patriots had playing-time aplenty for youngsters Adam Butler at defensive tackle, Deatrich Wise at defensive end, Jonathan Jones at cornerback and Elandon Roberts at linebacker. These four athletic young players gave the defense the boost it was missing in week one.

Butler stepped in for veteran  Alan Branch. Wise, a fourth-round draft pick this year, had a sack and consistent pressure on future Hall of Fame quarterback Drew Brees. Jones had a couple of excellent pass breakups stepping in when cornerback Eric Rowe was dinged up. Finally, Roberts made some plays in space against the running game and injected speed, energy, and enthusiasm into a linebacker group missing Dont’a Hightower.

Morgan: It should come as no surprise, but the biggest thing I took away was that Tom Brady clearly still has it, and anyone saying he was “done” after the Chiefs debacle needs to get their head evaluated. Maybe they’ve taken too many hits to the head over time, that CTE is rough, man. I was also very impressed with the defense. Sure, they gave up 20 points, but against a QB like Drew Brees and the talent the Saints have on offense, that’s actually a very good number.

Talbot: Brady has not lost a step. So many made a big deal out of the week 1 loss as to whether or not Brady was starting to show a decline. He quickly responded with throwing 447 yards and 3 touchdowns. He also set a few more records along the way. The offense was clicking and expect that to continue. 

Myers: The Patriots defense is starting to gel. Week one was a bumpy ride for the Patriots, and the offseason additions seemed to fail to live up to expectations. What many people fail to realize is, it’s going to take some time for these individual players to truly come together and form a cohesive defensive unit. Week two gave us the first glimpse as to what this team can really be. Cassius Marsh, Adam Butler, Deatrich Wise Jr., Stephon Gillmore, Lawrence Guy, Harvey Langi, and many other fresh faces grace the defensive side of the ball. This relatively unfamiliar group of defensive contributors held the explosive Saints to only 20 points on their home field, where they historically play much better than on the road, and did so without arguably their most important defensive player in Dont’a Hightower. This Patriots defense is starting to put it all together, and the rest of the league better be ready for when they do.

2. Who has been the best ‘new addition’ to the team through the first two weeks?

Sep 7, 2017; Foxborough, MA, USA; New England Patriots defensive end Deatrich Wise (91) celebrates after a sack in the second quarter against the Kansas City Chiefs at Gillette Stadium. Mandatory Credit: David Butler II-USA TODAY Sports

Glendon: It’s hard to look past Deatrich Wise at this point in the season. That is not to say by the end of the year, Brandin Cooks could be that player. However, in Wise’s case, he has made his presence felt on the defense in just two games. He has shown his length in fighting off lineman and looks to be a budding superstar next to fellow defensive end, Trey Flowers. Wise has collected sacks in each of his first two games.

D’Abate: For me, it’s been Deatrich Wise, Jr….and it’s not really close. He’s been one of the biggest steals of the draft, so far. Wise finished Sunday’s game with five quarterback hits, a sack and two tackles for losses. In a year where pass rushing was thought to be a weakness for New England, it looks as though Wise will be able to provide the Patriots with a solid option as a pass-rusher along with fellow Arkansas product Trey Flowers.  He may not have been the most-heralded new addition, but he may end up being one of the most important. 

Albiani: The best new addition to this team to me is tied between Brandin Cooks and Deatrich Wise, and I am going to lean Cooks. Wise has given the Patriots someone who can get after the quarterback and has been a huge addition considering the ability to generate pressure on the edge was a big question mark heading into the season with the retirement of Rob Ninkovich. That being said Cooks has brought a new dimension to this offense and his speed makes him impossible to cover one on one because of his ability to score on any play. That has opened up the offense even more and allowed the McDaniels and co. to work through game plans and find the right way to feature all the backs and weapons they have.

Bent: Through 2 weeks, rookie defensive end Deatrich Wise has been a huge player on the defense for the Patriots. The defensive end position lost Chris Long and Jabaal Sheard to free agency in the offseason. Kony Ealy was acquired from Carolina and cut in the preseason. Veteran Rob Ninkovich retired this offseason as well.

Other than third-year defensive end, Trey Flowers, New England had a gaping hole at the other defensive end position.Wise has picked up sacks in both of his career games so far in New England. Per profootballfocus.com, Wise had a sack, two quarterback hits, and a hurry in just 27 pass-rush snaps on Sunday against the Saints.

Morgan: I have to give this one to the rookie defensive end Deatrich Wise. He’s been very impressive in his first two games and is clearly picking up the system very quickly. His situation reminds me a lot of how fellow former Arkansas Razorback, Trey Flowers, burst onto the scene his rookie year. Maybe it’s just simply playing opposite of Flowers that has Wise playing so well, but regardless he’s been a big help in the front seven.

Talbot: Honestly Mike Gilisllee has been incredible so far. He already has 4 touchdowns and is filling in nicely into he Legarette Blount role. He is doing more than I expected though all around as he continues to run through the tackles and run a lot better than I pictured. Look for him to continue to score Touchdowns and surprise people all season long.

Myers: Over the first two weeks of the season the biggest addition to this Patriots team has to be the fourth round rookie defensive end out of Arkansas, Deatrich Wise Jr. Wise has recorded two sacks through the first two games of the season and helped the Patriots to establish a little bit of stability at a position of question. Who would be the starting defensive end opposite of Trey Flowers? Following the retirement of Rob Ninkovich, that question was up in the air. Through two weeks of the season, Wise appears to be answering that question. Look for Wise to take on a larger role with this Patriots defense moving forward.

3. What do you make of the Malcolm Butler situation? Was it simply a matchup choice or were the Patriots sending him a message?

Oct 25, 2015; Foxborough, MA, USA; New England Patriots cornerback Malcolm Butler (21) and cornerback Justin Coleman (22) celebrate against the New York Jets during the second half at Gillette Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Mark L. Baer-USA TODAY Sports

Glendon: I don’t think we have to look too far in the past to see how this scenario plays out. Last year, heading into a contract year, Jaimie Collins was shipped off to Cleveland midseason. Chandler Jones was traded prior to the 2016 season. If you go back several years, Belichick chose an unknown, Julian Edelman, over superstar Wes Welker. Letting the latter sign with the rival Broncos. The point is, Belichick will always make the move that is best for the team. I think it would be foolish to think this was just a matchup scenario. Enjoy Malcolm Butler while he is still here, it may not be that long.

D’Abate: Bill Belichick is not afraid to make choices based on what he feels to be best for the team. He has declared, as such, many times. On the surface, it makes sense that he would want a bigger corner to guard the Saints bigger receivers (Coleman, etc). However, Malcolm Butler has always been an every-down back. He’s never before been demoted for matchup choices. To me, it looks like a message is being sent, here. His performance in Week One was serviceable, but not up to the level at which Butler is capable of playing. The fact that this was done against the Saints (which whom Butler discussed a potential contract this offseason), is what I believe to be a coincidence.  The message from Belichick and the coaching staff is simple: Do your job to the best of your ability, or we’ll find someone else who will. We’ll see this Sunday of the message was received.

Albiani: I think it is a little of both. Butler has had problems in the past against bigger and more physical receivers, rather than short and shifty ones. However, Butler also hasn’t played that well going all the way back to the end of training camp, through preseason, and now into the regular season. Butler to me is still going to have a big role on this defense and will be a big factor if the Patriots want to help that pass rush versus better offensive lines. There was a clearly a message sent to him that his performance hasn’t been up to par and he needs to improve, but he will have time to work through his issues. 

Bent: The Malcolm Butler situation is a little of column A and a little of column B. Just like in Super Bowl 51, with two large wide receivers the Patriots deployed Butler as the third cornerback. Against the Falcons last February, Butler covered Taylor Gabriel as Eric Rowe and Logan Ryan covered Julio Jones and Mohamed Sanu.

With a duo of oversized targets, New England started Rowe and Stephon Gilmore on Sunday. Of course, as much sense as it makes match-up wise, there is always a motivation factor with Bill Belichick. Those deliberate actions cannot be ignored. Not to sit on the fence, but it was a little of both.

Morgan: Knowing the Patriots, I could see it being a little bit of both. We all know Bill Belichick and Matt Patricia loves to play matchups more than anyone else in the league, but at the same time, Butler is the kind of talent that you’d think would start regardless. However, he has played pretty poorly in the early season, and the Patriots could be telling him, in a way, that if he wants that major contract, he’s going to have to play up to that level, and right now he simply isn’t.

Talbot: I believe they were sending him a message. He has been so adamant about deserving as much money as Gilmore and getting top dollar yet he is not helping his cause right now. If he were smart, he would put his head down and prove just why he deserves top dollar because right now it simply seems as if he is whining. I expect him to turn things around though and the Patriots could really use his talent. 

Myers: Looking at the Malcolm Butler situation, one can’t help but think back to what happened with Jamie Collins in the first half of the 2016 season. A player that is considered to be among the best at his position in the NFL, going into a contract year where they will demand a considerable pay raise if they want to be retained in free agency, saw reduced playing time early on in the season, and had some off the field distractions during the offseason. What happened to Collins may be exactly what is happening to Butler. After seeing Eric Rowe get the start for Butler against the Saints, the addition of Stephon Gilmore, and the offseason contract drama that enveloped the Patriots star cornerback, Butler already seems to have one foot out the door.

4. Who is the biggest matchup problem for the Patriots against the Texans?

Sep 11, 2016; Houston, TX, USA; Houston Texans defensive end J.J. Watt (99) in action during the game against the Chicago Bears at NRG Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Kevin Jairaj-USA TODAY Sports

Glendon: With the uncertainty of offensive line, Marcus Cannon, it has to be J.J. Watt. Quite frankly, if everyone was healthy, it would still be J.J. Watt. With that said, Watt is going to play through a broken finger he suffered last week but that should not limit him much. The Patriots often pay a lot of attention to J.J. Watt so don’t look for that to change. And quite honestly, there is not a matchup that doesn’t favor the Patriots defense against the Texans offense.

D’Abate: The Patriots offensive line will have its hands full with the defense of the Texans, who offer a trio of game-changers in their front seven in Jadeveon Clowney, J.J. Watt, and Whitney Mercilus. The Pats O-Line has allowed Brady to be sacked 2.5 times so far in 2017, which is not the worst in the league, but it’s not even close to the best. Both Nate Solder and Marcus Cannon (whose health may be in question after missing Wednesday’s practice) will need to have big games. With respect to a very good Chiefs defense, this will be the toughest defensive test the Pats have played so far. They need to bring their ‘A’ game to protect Brady if they hope to win this one. 

Albiani: The biggest matchup problem for the Patriots is definitely the Texan defensive line and edge players versus the Patriots offensive line. The problem will be exacerbated even more should Cannon not be cleared for the game with his concussion, but if he is cleared the big issues will be the interior line where Andrews specifically got manhandled and had a lot of trouble with the stunts and power through the A gap. With Watt now back Brady is going to need a better performance if he is going to have time to find open receivers. If the Texans get the pressure they got on Brady they did in last year’s playoffs they will struggle to win, but Belichick should be able to ease the rush a little with well-timed screens, chip-blocks, cut-blocks, and draws.

Bent: The Patriots offensive line had a difficult time with the Texans last year in the divisional playoffs in January. This season, left tackle Nate Solder has struggled through two games and right tackle Marcus Cannon is dealing with a concussion as well as an ankle injury.  However, despite the presence of Whitney Mercilus and Jadeveon Clowney on the outside, the biggest disruption is a healthy JJ Watt going against the New England interior offensive line.

The Patriots were fortunate that what was out injured last time they played the Texans. While right guard Shaq Mason has been excellent through two games, center David Andrews has been his usual solid technician at center, and Joe Thuney has been quietly effective at left guard, JJ Watt is probably the best interior defensive lineman in football. If Watt is able to penetrate and disrupt the running game and collapse the pocket on Brady, it could be a long night for the New England offense.

Morgan: This one is easy. J.J. Watt. He was only active for one of the two matchups between the two teams in 2016 and didn’t put up big numbers in the early-season tilt, which the Patriots won 27-0 with Jacoby Brissett at quarterback, mind you, and there was one key factor for that.

The Patriots already knew he’d be a problem going in and had an amazing gameplan to make him a non-factor. They not only had the gameplan but executed it flawlessly.

That being said, Brady and Brissett are two different quarterbacks entirely, and the Patriots also had Julian Edelman healthy to get the ball out quickly too. Watt is one of the best defenders in the league, and should still be treated as such.

Talbot: Watson. I know that sounds ridiculous because he is a rookie QB with only one game experience but he can move and be extremely dangerous outside of the pocket. If he runs the ball himself and takes the ball outside of the pocket I believe that he will do some serious damage to the Patriots defense because they have not been too good at defending running quarterbacks. However, if he tries to beat this team through the air, he will not have much luck.

Myers: The Texans have arguably the best front seven in the NFL. J.J. Watt, Whitney Mercilus, and Jadeveon Clowney form a trifecta of pass rushers that present a matchup nightmare for any team in the league to try and deal with. The interior offensive line of New England was their Achilles heel in the divisional round of last years playoffs and even struggled in joint practices with the Texans this preseason. Shaq Mason, Joe Thuney, and David Andrews will have to step up in this game if they want to keep Brady’s jersey clean. They have a full season of playing time together and will really need to play at a higher level to give Brady time in the pocket and help avoid turnovers. After a shaky performance against Justin Houston in week one, the matchup between Watt and Marcus Cannon is also worth watching. The Texans defensive front seven, matching up with the Patriots offensive line will be the matchup of the week to monitor.

5. How do you think the Patriots will attack the Texans offensively?

Jan 14, 2017; Foxborough, MA, USA; New England Patriots running back Dion Lewis (33)returns a kick for a touchdown against the Houston Texans during the first quarter in the AFC Divisional playoff game at Gillette Stadium. Mandatory Credit: James Lang-USA TODAY Sports

Glendon: A lot depends on who actually dresses for the Patriots on Sunday. In their divisional matchup last January, the Texans received a heavy dose of Dion Lewis. Look for that trend to continue with a combination of Lewis, James White, and Rex Burkhead—if he plays. And of course, the Patriots will attack the middle of the field, especially if Rob Gronkowski is healthy enough to play.

D’Abate: If he has adequate protection from his offensive line, Tom Brady should be able to exploit Houston’s secondary. While their front seven is stout, their defensive backfield is their liability. With the possibility of Danny Amendola’s  return, Brady may have the necessary weapons to put up numbers against an ordinarily stingy defense. Look for James White to get looks, catching the ball out of the backfield, as well. This could be the game that we see Brandin Cooks get going. However, this is contingent on the play of the offensive line. I’d the pressure on Brady becomes too smothering, we might see a heavier dose of Mike Gillislee and Dion Lewis.  Fortunately for the Pats, offensive depth is a good thing to have.

Albiani: My guess is the Patriots attack whoever Jonathan Joseph isn’t covering through the air. I say that not as a compliment to Joseph, who has lost a step over the years, but as an indictment of the second and third corners the Texans have, especially with Kevin Johnson being banged up. Either way, I see Cooks or Hogan having a big game. Another big-time performance in this game will likely be James White, who will have a much bigger role with Rex Burkhead banged up and McDaniels and Belichick seemingly hesitant to give Lewis a bigger role. White will be huge helping to block as well considering he is the best pass blocking back on the PAtriots and one of the better ones in the league.

Bent: The New England offense is at its best with a horizontal attack in the passing game. The Patriots are hoping Gronkowski is healthy enough to play, and he has millions of dollars in incentives in his contract to earn as a motivation to play this week. Using the running backs out of the backfield and in the slot proved effective last week and should continue.

What is most important for New England is to be able to get the ball to Brandin Cooks in space and let him make plays with his breakaway speed.  New England should have him if not in the Julian Edelman role on the offense in the Deion Branch role. Branch was effective on horizontal roads short and intermediate and New England put up plenty of points when he was here over a decade ago.

Morgan: I could see the Patriots not focusing on the running game as much this week, and airing the ball out. The Texans’ secondary has been decimated by injuries, forcing their nickel corner, Kareem Jackson, into a heavy role on the outside. The group played well against Andy Dalton and the Bengals last week, but we all know the Patriots are an entirely different monster. This passing game will flourish against a battered Houston back end.

Talbot: Expect the Patriots to attack the Texans quickly and through the air. We all know about their front 7 that is scary and difficult to run against but if Brady does not get rid of the ball quicker than those guys will get to him fast. He needs to utilize James white and Burkhead out of the backfield until he sees big openings downfield. Expect a big game out of Hogan or Cooks.

Myers: There are still many question marks surrounding this Patriots offense. Where are Danny Amendola, Chris Hogan, Phillip Dorsett, Rob Gronkowski, and Rex Burkhead at in their recoveries from injuries suffered in the first two games of the season? The available personnel for the Patriots on game day will have a huge effect on the offensive game plan they implement. Assuming that most of the players listed above are able to suit up, expect New England to get the ball out quick in order to neutralize that Houston pass rush that can give Brady fits. Throughout the first two weeks of the season, New England has seemed to transition from offenses past where they attacked the middle of the field with quick underneath routes to more of a deep ball big play focused offense. Expect New England to shift back to offensive gameplans of the past and get the ball out of Brady’s hands quickly.

[totesmccoats]

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Dark Days: The Casting #1

This issue continues The Forge’s storytelling maneuver of throwing DCU canon at the wall to see what sticks, but also helpfully starts putting a few pieces together to the story of Metal.

Carter Hall writes in his journal about his multiple lives’ quest to discover the secret of Nth Metal – the power-source of his wings and weapons, and has traced it back to the beginnings of the universe, a bat-shaped Destroyer, and the “birds” that fought him back. Batman too, quests to discover the secret of the metals, which Wonder Woman tells him was used to make divine weapons, is found in all of the DCU’s most powerful relics, and courses through the blood of Earth’s heroes, including Batman himself. Meanwhile, Hal and Duke try to interrogate Joker about what he knows about the Metal and Batman’s been hiding from them.

This is Snyder going for broke, giving the DCU its biggest event since Flashpoint with Morrison-esque levels of continuity play connecting everything in the DC canon together. I’m expecting this to get incredibly silly, and make absolutely no sense to anyone not already 100% invested. Because it’s Snyder, I am so game for this. There’s still a radical shift in quality when the art goes from Kubrick to Romita Jr, the latter of whose style just does not fit the story as well as it does something like the first arc of All-Star Batman.

  Wonder Woman #26

Considering her previous work, I wasn’t expecting Fontana’s first issue on the series to completely gel with where Rucka left us, but the shift in tone is still something I’m getting used to, even within this one issue.

I like the opening scene, with Wonder Woman breaking up a fight in a refugee camp, although I’m honestly not sure what’s supposed to be happening. She punches out a guy harassing a woman and her kid, but then the whole camp is on fire and explodes for some reason? I’m not sure; but that leads directly to a flashback where Wonder Woman overhears her mother worry that she shouldn’t still be playing with dolls if she’s to become an Amazon – a plot-thread which doesn’t really go anywhere nor even plant seeds for the story to come. After that, Diana debriefs from what’s revealed to be her 43rd mission this year with the US military, and the General offers to be someone she can talk to with any problems regarding what she sees on the missions; there’s a check-up with a Doctor with a mysterious cough; and Diana goes to Etta Candy’s brother’s wedding where she helps a young girl find a missing shoe.

Now, I’m the first person to advocate for more superheroes helping out children in comics, but there’s a tonal inconsistency between that and the beginning of the book which implies Di might be going through some PTSD. And that tonal inconstancy also appears within individual scenes, like when right after the General offers to be someone she can talk to, he bumps his head on a low-hanging light fixture, and then the two are interrupted by a Mark Zuckerberg-looking fellow who invites them to a building-wide softball game. Also, the final page feels like a Batman ’66 type cliffhanger, which I kind of love, but which also feels out of step with the rest of the issue.

  The Flash #26

Eobard shows Barry and Iris a vision of their future where their children, Don and Dawn, grow up to be supervillains because Barry wasn’t around to be a father to them. Deciding that Iris has had enough of his lying to her, and that there is only one way to prevent this bad future from playing out, Barry goes with Eobard to a place where he’d never hurt anyone ever again – the negative Speed Force.

Although it probably happens too quickly, I like how Eobard breaks Barry by mind-judo-ing him into thinking that being the Flash is somehow irresponsible and hurts people. It’s not the most original storyline, god knows it’s happened to Peter Parker too many times, but in this situation, it works. Like Pete, Barry has seen how much his being the Flash hurts those closest to him, so when Eobard offers a way to prevent further harm, he takes it.

Also, it gives the series a great excuse to focus on Iris, who has to come to terms with her best friend being a superhero while fighting off the Reverse-Flash on her own. Hopefully this story will also borrow the ending from Spider-Man 2 and have the girlfriend knock some sense into their “my power = my choice” mindset when it comes to relationships.

  Spider-Men II #1

The cover asks the question “Who is the other Miles?” but, of course we don’t find out this issue – though we do see his face. Instead, we get a cold in medias res open of the two Spider-Men failing to catch a plane with, presumably the other Miles on it, before jumping a week into the past where Peter and Miles meet up at the warehouse where the first Spider-Men story kicked off to investigate another mysterious pink portal flinging stuff through Manhattan.

I stopped picking up Bendis books, including Spider-Man (Miles’ book) because I was getting tired of his style after Civil War II; but reading this issue reminds me of what I like about his writing. All of Bendis’ dialogue is snappy and witty, with everyone knowing exactly how to respond to the last thing said with their own little witticism. So, basically, he’s perfect for Spider-Man (men).

Bendis does tend to be verbose, but the boxes and bubbles are broken up nicely through the spreads, never getting too much in the way except in one moment in particularly where the wordiness is a punchline. And despite each character being recognizably Bendis, they are still recognizably distinct. Peter’s inner monologue and dialogue reads as someone trying – perhaps too hard – to be funny. He repeats words and phrases, doubles back on things he’s thinking/saying to provide his own commentary, and goes out of his way to be self-deprecating while taking others down with his esteem. We don’t get any of Mile’s inner monologue, but his dialogue represents him as more self-conscious, more laconic. He speaks mainly to respond to others, and lets Ganke – oh man did I miss Ganke – do much of the talking for him.

Pichelli’s art also does a lot to define each of the Spider-Men. Peter, like his dialogue, is more comedic. His poses are more exaggerated, with him spreading his limbs away from his body with wide kicks and flips, and leaning and looking down over other characters. Conversely, Miles moves more conservatively, keeping his libs tucked while swinging, and crouching where Peter would stand and lean.

  Amazing Spider-Man #30

We open on Spider-Man organizing a retreat from a Mjolnir wielding Hyrdra-Cap, then go to Peter in Shanghai, trying to rally his employees and prepare them for an attack by Doctor Octopus, who is raiding Parker Industry labs. Pete meets with the employees who remain loyal, warning them that if it comes to it, they’re going to have to destroy their life’s work to keep it out of Hydra’s grasps. And then Otto attacks.

It’s really impressive how Slott manages to weave his ongoing stories with event books without skipping a beat. Even without all the Secret Empire stuff, this arc is just another chapter in the Spider-Man/Doc Ock rivalry he’s set up since his Ends of the Earth storyline in 2012. Otto sees allying with Hydra as a means to the end of claiming all of Peter’s work as the fruits of his labor, and destroying Peter’s legacy as he takes it back.

And what’s scary is that, despite becoming a better CEO and doing his best to prepare for Ock, Peter is still a few steps behind. He still, unknowingly let Otto into his company, giving him the chance to sabotage everything right under his nose. In a way, Parker Industry is just as much Otto’s as it is Pete’s, and Otto’s taking advantage of that while Peter is failing to really comprehend it.

  Black Panther and The Crew #4

In Mississippi in 1964, Ezra and Frank take the Crew to take care of some KKK members who can’t be touched by the law. In the present, Luke Cage escapes the firebombing of his apartment building by Hydra, then joins up with Misty Knight to investigate why he was targeted, and what that might have to do with Ezra’s assassination.

The cold open in Mississippi is one of the strongest scenes in comic books regarding racial violence printed in the Big 2’s comics yet. Not only does it clearly and concisely explain how white people can (and still) get away with murdering black people, but also demonstrates exactly why groups like the Crew, or the real life Black Panthers, were and are necessary in those times and places. It’s its own complete story and statement of purpose in four pages. And it’s echoed through the rest of the comic, as Misty and Luke eventually talk to the CEO of the company behind the Americops, who still gets away with targeting black people with impunity because that’s what benefits the powerful.

It’s weird how the same company that’s publishing Nick Spencer’s half-assed sanitized metaphor for fascism can also publish such clear-eyed commentary on race in America. And that also applies to David F. Walker’s too-short run on Nighthawk, which you should totally pick up.

  Unbeatable Squirrel Girl #22

Doreen and Nancy win a programming contest and an all-expenses paid vacation to the Savage Land! Expect jokes involving: computer programming pun titles for classic literature, how insane Wikipedia articles in the Marvel universe must be, colonial era nomenclature, Jurassic Park, paleontology, Latveria, and more.

Reading this issue, it’s hard not to feel like North has wanted to write a Jurassic Park episode for Squirrel Girl for a while now, and he taps into the seemingly universal human love of dinosaurs. Henderson continues to deliver on art, with some of the best and funniest faces in comics, my favorite of which this issue is Doreen’s reaction to realizing Nancy has a crush on one of the other contest winners.

  Kill or Be Killed #10

The cops, including detective Lily Sharpe find the Russian hitman’s burned-up corpse in the back of the van after learning about Dylan dropping off Rex at the hospital, and begin to postulate why their murderer tried to spare one victim while brutalizing the other. Meanwhile, Dylan, devastated by Rex’s death, move back home with his mom where he gets high, plays video games, and swears off killing, resigned to let the demon kill him. But then the demon reminds him that the Russians are after him, and might target the people he cares about, which complicates things a tad.

For a bit it seemed like Dylan was getting used to his new life, but this issue shows him in a downward spiral stemming from Rex’s death, as it’s the first one that’s actually personal for him. It’s his Uncle Ben moment, and that’s not the only part of this issue reminiscent of Spider-Man. When Dylan goes back to the city, it’s mainly to break up with Daisy and shut out Kira, who just happens to tell him about her feelings for him, just as he’s decided he’s too dangerous and messed up to afford to return her feelings.

This issue doesn’t really feel like the ending to an arc, but somewhere closer to the beginning of one. Continuing the comparison, this is Dylan’s “Spider-Man no more!” moment, which means that the stage is pretty much set for his comeback, whatever that may look like. It certainly won’t be as heroic as Spidey’s; but I wouldn’t rule out the inclusion of a criminal kingpin.

Comic Reviews for 7/12/17 Dark Days: The Casting #1 This issue continues The Forge's storytelling maneuver of throwing DCU canon at the wall to see what sticks, but also helpfully starts putting a few pieces together to the story of Metal.

[totesmccoats]

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Dark Days: The Casting #1

This issue continues The Forge’s storytelling maneuver of throwing DCU canon at the wall to see what sticks, but also helpfully starts putting a few pieces together to the story of Metal.

Carter Hall writes in his journal about his multiple lives’ quest to discover the secret of Nth Metal – the power-source of his wings and weapons, and has traced it back to the beginnings of the universe, a bat-shaped Destroyer, and the “birds” that fought him back. Batman too, quests to discover the secret of the metals, which Wonder Woman tells him was used to make divine weapons, is found in all of the DCU’s most powerful relics, and courses through the blood of Earth’s heroes, including Batman himself. Meanwhile, Hal and Duke try to interrogate Joker about what he knows about the Metal and Batman’s been hiding from them.

This is Snyder going for broke, giving the DCU its biggest event since Flashpoint with Morrison-esque levels of continuity play connecting everything in the DC canon together. I’m expecting this to get incredibly silly, and make absolutely no sense to anyone not already 100% invested. Because it’s Snyder, I am so game for this. There’s still a radical shift in quality when the art goes from Kubrick to Romita Jr, the latter of whose style just does not fit the story as well as it does something like the first arc of All-Star Batman.

  Wonder Woman #26

Considering her previous work, I wasn’t expecting Fontana’s first issue on the series to completely gel with where Rucka left us, but the shift in tone is still something I’m getting used to, even within this one issue.

I like the opening scene, with Wonder Woman breaking up a fight in a refugee camp, although I’m honestly not sure what’s supposed to be happening. She punches out a guy harassing a woman and her kid, but then the whole camp is on fire and explodes for some reason? I’m not sure; but that leads directly to a flashback where Wonder Woman overhears her mother worry that she shouldn’t still be playing with dolls if she’s to become an Amazon – a plot-thread which doesn’t really go anywhere nor even plant seeds for the story to come. After that, Diana debriefs from what’s revealed to be her 43rd mission this year with the US military, and the General offers to be someone she can talk to with any problems regarding what she sees on the missions; there’s a check-up with a Doctor with a mysterious cough; and Diana goes to Etta Candy’s brother’s wedding where she helps a young girl find a missing shoe.

Now, I’m the first person to advocate for more superheroes helping out children in comics, but there’s a tonal inconsistency between that and the beginning of the book which implies Di might be going through some PTSD. And that tonal inconstancy also appears within individual scenes, like when right after the General offers to be someone she can talk to, he bumps his head on a low-hanging light fixture, and then the two are interrupted by a Mark Zuckerberg-looking fellow who invites them to a building-wide softball game. Also, the final page feels like a Batman ’66 type cliffhanger, which I kind of love, but which also feels out of step with the rest of the issue.

  The Flash #26

Eobard shows Barry and Iris a vision of their future where their children, Don and Dawn, grow up to be supervillains because Barry wasn’t around to be a father to them. Deciding that Iris has had enough of his lying to her, and that there is only one way to prevent this bad future from playing out, Barry goes with Eobard to a place where he’d never hurt anyone ever again – the negative Speed Force.

Although it probably happens too quickly, I like how Eobard breaks Barry by mind-judo-ing him into thinking that being the Flash is somehow irresponsible and hurts people. It’s not the most original storyline, god knows it’s happened to Peter Parker too many times, but in this situation, it works. Like Pete, Barry has seen how much his being the Flash hurts those closest to him, so when Eobard offers a way to prevent further harm, he takes it.

Also, it gives the series a great excuse to focus on Iris, who has to come to terms with her best friend being a superhero while fighting off the Reverse-Flash on her own. Hopefully this story will also borrow the ending from Spider-Man 2 and have the girlfriend knock some sense into their “my power = my choice” mindset when it comes to relationships.

  Spider-Men II #1

The cover asks the question “Who is the other Miles?” but, of course we don’t find out this issue – though we do see his face. Instead, we get a cold in medias res open of the two Spider-Men failing to catch a plane with, presumably the other Miles on it, before jumping a week into the past where Peter and Miles meet up at the warehouse where the first Spider-Men story kicked off to investigate another mysterious pink portal flinging stuff through Manhattan.

I stopped picking up Bendis books, including Spider-Man (Miles’ book) because I was getting tired of his style after Civil War II; but reading this issue reminds me of what I like about his writing. All of Bendis’ dialogue is snappy and witty, with everyone knowing exactly how to respond to the last thing said with their own little witticism. So, basically, he’s perfect for Spider-Man (men).

Bendis does tend to be verbose, but the boxes and bubbles are broken up nicely through the spreads, never getting too much in the way except in one moment in particularly where the wordiness is a punchline. And despite each character being recognizably Bendis, they are still recognizably distinct. Peter’s inner monologue and dialogue reads as someone trying – perhaps too hard – to be funny. He repeats words and phrases, doubles back on things he’s thinking/saying to provide his own commentary, and goes out of his way to be self-deprecating while taking others down with his esteem. We don’t get any of Mile’s inner monologue, but his dialogue represents him as more self-conscious, more laconic. He speaks mainly to respond to others, and lets Ganke – oh man did I miss Ganke – do much of the talking for him.

Pichelli’s art also does a lot to define each of the Spider-Men. Peter, like his dialogue, is more comedic. His poses are more exaggerated, with him spreading his limbs away from his body with wide kicks and flips, and leaning and looking down over other characters. Conversely, Miles moves more conservatively, keeping his libs tucked while swinging, and crouching where Peter would stand and lean.

  Amazing Spider-Man #30

We open on Spider-Man organizing a retreat from a Mjolnir wielding Hyrdra-Cap, then go to Peter in Shanghai, trying to rally his employees and prepare them for an attack by Doctor Octopus, who is raiding Parker Industry labs. Pete meets with the employees who remain loyal, warning them that if it comes to it, they’re going to have to destroy their life’s work to keep it out of Hydra’s grasps. And then Otto attacks.

It’s really impressive how Slott manages to weave his ongoing stories with event books without skipping a beat. Even without all the Secret Empire stuff, this arc is just another chapter in the Spider-Man/Doc Ock rivalry he’s set up since his Ends of the Earth storyline in 2012. Otto sees allying with Hydra as a means to the end of claiming all of Peter’s work as the fruits of his labor, and destroying Peter’s legacy as he takes it back.

And what’s scary is that, despite becoming a better CEO and doing his best to prepare for Ock, Peter is still a few steps behind. He still, unknowingly let Otto into his company, giving him the chance to sabotage everything right under his nose. In a way, Parker Industry is just as much Otto’s as it is Pete’s, and Otto’s taking advantage of that while Peter is failing to really comprehend it.

  Black Panther and The Crew #4

In Mississippi in 1964, Ezra and Frank take the Crew to take care of some KKK members who can’t be touched by the law. In the present, Luke Cage escapes the firebombing of his apartment building by Hydra, then joins up with Misty Knight to investigate why he was targeted, and what that might have to do with Ezra’s assassination.

The cold open in Mississippi is one of the strongest scenes in comic books regarding racial violence printed in the Big 2’s comics yet. Not only does it clearly and concisely explain how white people can (and still) get away with murdering black people, but also demonstrates exactly why groups like the Crew, or the real life Black Panthers, were and are necessary in those times and places. It’s its own complete story and statement of purpose in four pages. And it’s echoed through the rest of the comic, as Misty and Luke eventually talk to the CEO of the company behind the Americops, who still gets away with targeting black people with impunity because that’s what benefits the powerful.

It’s weird how the same company that’s publishing Nick Spencer’s half-assed sanitized metaphor for fascism can also publish such clear-eyed commentary on race in America. And that also applies to David F. Walker’s too-short run on Nighthawk, which you should totally pick up.

  Unbeatable Squirrel Girl #22

Doreen and Nancy win a programming contest and an all-expenses paid vacation to the Savage Land! Expect jokes involving: computer programming pun titles for classic literature, how insane Wikipedia articles in the Marvel universe must be, colonial era nomenclature, Jurassic Park, paleontology, Latveria, and more.

Reading this issue, it’s hard not to feel like North has wanted to write a Jurassic Park episode for Squirrel Girl for a while now, and he taps into the seemingly universal human love of dinosaurs. Henderson continues to deliver on art, with some of the best and funniest faces in comics, my favorite of which this issue is Doreen’s reaction to realizing Nancy has a crush on one of the other contest winners.

  Kill or Be Killed #10

The cops, including detective Lily Sharpe find the Russian hitman’s burned-up corpse in the back of the van after learning about Dylan dropping off Rex at the hospital, and begin to postulate why their murderer tried to spare one victim while brutalizing the other. Meanwhile, Dylan, devastated by Rex’s death, move back home with his mom where he gets high, plays video games, and swears off killing, resigned to let the demon kill him. But then the demon reminds him that the Russians are after him, and might target the people he cares about, which complicates things a tad.

For a bit it seemed like Dylan was getting used to his new life, but this issue shows him in a downward spiral stemming from Rex’s death, as it’s the first one that’s actually personal for him. It’s his Uncle Ben moment, and that’s not the only part of this issue reminiscent of Spider-Man. When Dylan goes back to the city, it’s mainly to break up with Daisy and shut out Kira, who just happens to tell him about her feelings for him, just as he’s decided he’s too dangerous and messed up to afford to return her feelings.

This issue doesn’t really feel like the ending to an arc, but somewhere closer to the beginning of one. Continuing the comparison, this is Dylan’s “Spider-Man no more!” moment, which means that the stage is pretty much set for his comeback, whatever that may look like. It certainly won’t be as heroic as Spidey’s; but I wouldn’t rule out the inclusion of a criminal kingpin.

Comic Reviews for 7/12/17 Dark Days: The Casting #1 This issue continues The Forge's storytelling maneuver of throwing DCU canon at the wall to see what sticks, but also helpfully starts putting a few pieces together to the story of Metal.