#hairy leg + jeans + boots. i’m so sexy.
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carfuckerlynch · 1 year ago
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photos of me that are sooooo hot for no reason
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blueberry-boyfriends · 5 months ago
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God-fuckin’-dammit you’re sexy. You’ve got such a perfect little otter body, all slim and hairy and sinewy, the perfect size for manhandling. I’m 6’2” with my boots on, and beefy, so I don’t think it’d take much for me to push you around a bit.
I wanna come up behind you and push you up against a wall, one hand pressing on your shoulder and the other sliding between your legs and teasing you through your jeans.
How long you think it’d take before you’re soaking through all that denim? Damn shame, really, I’d have to pull them off you and toss ‘em in the laundry — and probably your shirt too for good measure.
It’d turn me on to see you ass naked while I’m still fully clothed. Don’t try and be bashful, though, you know I’m gonna make you move your hands and spread your legs for me. Wouldn’t even have to pull your arms away, I know you’ll do whatever daddy tells you to do, no matter how embarrassed you are.
I’d make you stroke yourself and finger your wet hole, all while watching my fat dick get hard under my jeans. You wouldn’t get to touch it yet; I’d make you jerk off buck naked, staring at my bulge until you came all over your fingers.
That’s when I’d unzip and let it bounce out, then pick you up shove you against the wall again before stretching out that hairy little hole and fucking you until you came again while I blow my load inside you.
I’d let you down, but just barely, because then I’d slide knuckle-deep inside you and thumb your dick while I fingerfuck you using my cum as lube. How many times you think I could make you cum before you have to tap out?
How am I just seeing this in my inbox now 😵‍💫😵‍💫 Jesus Christ this made me so wet so fast. It would not take me long to soak through my jeans, that’s for sure. How many times? Guess there’s only one way to find out…
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strip-weathers · 1 year ago
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Weathers family and their looks (HUMANIZED)
Strip:
He’s as tall as a mountain, about 189 cm, when Lyn steps up to him, her face is against his chest. Well he’s a BIG BOY.
He’s slim, but that doesn't stop him from having nice muscles. Just because he was a racer, he had to be fit and had to exercise a lot, so his muscles are pretty visible. Mostly on his legs and stomach. Lyn just adores it.
His foot size is 43.
He has longer light brown nearly red colored hair and he has a mustache and almost invisible beard on his chin. Of course, he has a few gray hairs, but Lynda finds it sexy.
Overall, he's all hairy. Very hairy. Lyn is obsessed with it and calls him; ,,My fluffy hairy bear''
Dress style: usually he wears a shirt and pants, sometimes a t-shirt and jeans. In winter, he wears sweaters and turtlenecks and coats a lot. Of course, he wears DINOCO clothes like a polo shirt, jacket, etc. He wears a cowboy hat and boots (but he also wears sneakers sometimes). He's a COWBOY after all.
Lynda:
She’s small and slender. She is about 169 cm, so she is quite small compared to Strip and Cal.
She is also slim, but of course she has those feminine shapes like nice hips, thighs, breasts, etc. She’s simply a piece of woman as Strip would say. She also has developed muscles but it is not so visible.
Her foot size is 39.
She has medium length highlighted hair and it is a bit wavy.
She wears natural makeup, she doesn't wear artificial nails, she has her long natural nails.
Dress style: usually she wears shirts and pants or skirts (only long skirts (only has a short one for Strip)) rarely she wears dresses (for example on a date). In winter she wears sweaters, turtlenecks and coats etc. She also wears a hat and cowboy boots. As accessories, she wears smaller handbags and jewelry.
CAL:
He’s also tall, around 185 cm but still not as tall as Strip.
He’s slim figure and also has visible muscles. He loves working out.
Foot size is 42.
He has medium long wavy red hair. Of course he has a smaller mustache than Strip but it's cute.
Dress style: mostly T-shirt and jeans or shirt. He only wears pants to social events. Of course he wears DINOCO clothes like a polo shirt or a hoodie. In winter he wears sweaters and jackets or coats. He also wears a cowboy hat and boots. But he usually wears a baseball hat on the track.
Hey. I’m back in full strength! I’m trying my best to stay as motivated as possible so I decided to write something on my favorite family. If you have any ideas on what I might write just let me know!
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drabbles-mc · 4 years ago
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Wait I just read the head canon of the “spider in the shower” scenario and they were AMAZING. So spot on😭. I am here to put in a request for this but for the Mayans and if you want to/have time for the rest of the SOA boys. I just loved it soooo much 🥺 you write so well for these characters!!!
Ask and you shall receive! For those wondering, Here is the original Spider in the Shower HC for the SOA boys.
HC for the Mayans Men under the cut! These are a little different set-up-wise since as far as we know the Mayans clubhouse doesn't have dorms. So these all take place in houses or apartments or whatever you picture these boys living in
Bishop:
- he heard you scream and came running from the other end of the house, banging on the bathroom door, “Sweetheart, you alright? Open up!” The two-second delay between him saying that and you unlocking the door felt like an eternity to him. He never heard you scream like that before
- when he walked in he expected to see blood everywhere, or something completely shattered and broken. But nothing seemed out of place. The only thing that seemed off was you, sitting up on the sink counter dripping water while staring at the bathtub.
- “What’s going on?” he looks around the bathroom but can’t for the life of him figure out what’s wrong. He grabs a towel and drapes it around your shoulders as he follows your line of sight.
- “Why the fuck is there a spider in our shower?” you look up at him.
- he wasn’t used to you asking questions so aggressively. He made a mental note that spiders were a tense topic for you. He could only shrug in response before saying, “I didn’t send out invites, you know. Don’t look at me like that,” you could see that he was trying not to smile and failing miserably.
- “Will you kill it, please?” your tone switched from annoyed to pleading. He chuckled as he peered behind the shower curtain, “You sure you don’t want me to just catch him and put him outside?” You raised your eyebrows, “And give him the chance to come back? No fucking way.”
- he didn’t say anything else as he took his boot off and smack it against the wall, effectively putting the spider out of commission. You stayed on the sink out of the way as he grabbed a tissue and cleaned up the mess, throwing the spider in the trash
- he scooped you up off the sink counter and walked you back to your shared bedroom, hiding his laughter by pressing his lips against your bare shoulder. He set you down on the bed and threw you one of his old t-shirts to put on. The two of you looked at each other in silence for a few moments before you finally spoke up, “Don’t you dare tell anyone about this.” He laughed as he collapsed on the bed next to you, “I won’t...for now.”
Angel:
- he thought that he was in for a sexy time in the shower with you. He was eagerly slipping out of his jeans and tank top as he watched you hop into the shower, disappearing behind the curtain.
- he peeled off his socks and was getting ready to hop in the shower behind you when the sound of your scream filled the tiny space at his house. He didn't even have time to try and register what was going on as you leapt out of the shower, water still running, and slamming into him. You sent both of you crashing into the sink counter
- “Fuck, Y/N, what’s the matter with you?” he was rubbing his hip where it had just gotten jammed into the corner of the counter
- “There’s a spider in there!” He looked at you, not completely surprised, “So you gotta bodyslam me? C’mon, querida, it can’t be that scary. It’s way smaller than you.” You narrowed your eyes at him, “Then you go kill it!”
- he scoffs, reaching and shutting the water off before peeling the curtain back, “Maybe I will.” He does his signature, cocky little head shake that drives you nuts when it’s directed at you.
- he holds his hand out behind him, “Gimme a tissue.” You set one in his hand, eagerly watching over his shoulder as he catches and crushes the spider inside the tissue. He turns back to you, a proud smirk on his face, “See? All taken care of.” He tosses it in the toilet and flushes it away.
- Once it’s gone for good, he reaches and turns the shower back on. His expression changes completely when he turns back around to you and sees you pulling your rode on. “Where you goin’, querida?” he looks so genuinely confused.
- you shake your head, “I’m not getting back in that fucking shower tonight. Have fun.” You don’t give him the chance to try and change your mind and you can hear him groaning behind you as he shuts the shower back off again, admitting defeat.
Coco:
- swings the door open with an amount of force that you’d never seen, baseball bat in his hand, “Who the fuck is in here?!” he looks frantically around the bathroom, trying to locate whoever it was that made you scream like that.
- it took a second before he noticed that you were standing to the side of him, tucking yourself neatly into the corner of your bathroom. He saw the way your hair was still dripping and quickly looked you over to make sure that you were physically okay.
- “What happened?” his hand was still gripping the baseball bat tightly. You pointed to the shower, “There’s a spider in the shower...”
- he couldn't pretend that he wasn’t confused, “Alright. And?” You scoffed, “What do you mean and?” He shrugged, “I mean and what the fuck made you scream like that? It bite you or somethin’?” You sighed, “No! It didn’t bite me. I just...I don’t want a spider in the shower with me, Coco! You gotta kill it!”
- his grip on the bat finally loosened up a bit. He shook his head, “You had me thinkin’ there was a murderer in here or some shit. You can’t kill it yourself?” You flashed him your best puppy-dog eyes, “C’mon, Coco, please?” He tilted his head slightly, “Whatchu gonna do if this happens when I’m not here?”
- you sighed. You should’ve known that it wasn’t going to be an easy thing with him. The man put holes in people’s heads on a semi-regular basis for the club without question, but asking him to squash a bug was going to spark a philosophical discussion.
- “I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. Please, Coco, I don’t wanna do it.” It was evident in his eyes that he was contemplating leaving you to deal with the problem on your own. But he was soft for you and couldn't follow through on it. With a sigh, he climbed into the tub and stomped the spider with no hesitation before washing it down the drain.
- he kissed your forehead, “Next time you gotta do it. Survival of the fittest, Ma.” You rolled your eyes, “My knight in shining armor.” He turned around and flashed you the cocky smile that made you weak in the knees every time, “Damn right.”
EZ:
- the sound of your yell filled the entirety of the small trailer. He jumped up off the bed and made his way to the small pocket of space that passed for his bathroom and was instantly bombarded by you running into him. The front of his shirt instantly became soaked, absorbing all the water from your body.
- “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” he gripped you gently but firmly by the outsides of your arms. You shook your head, “This trailer is not big enough for the three of us, Ezekiel.” His eyebrows furrowed, “Three of us?” You nodded, “Yea. You, me, and your hairy eight-legged friend in there,” you gestured towards the bathroom.
- that was when he realized what happened. He smiled down at you before he thought better of it and you pushed his chest, “It’s not funny!” He nodded, forcing a serious expression as he held his hands up in surrender, “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
- “Want me to take care of it?” the smirk was already reappearing on his face. You huff, “No, I want the three of us to learn how to live in harmony together.”
- “I know you’re being sarcastic,” he chuckled as he shuffled past you to get to the bathroom, “But that would make for a good story.”
- you were shaking your head as you grabbed one of his shirts to wear, sitting down on the bed as you watched him try to maneuver around in the small space to kill the spider.
- “Sorry, buddy,” EZ spoke to the creature as he got ready to squash it with a tissue, “but she said that we can’t be friends.” You rolled your eyes, “You’re not about to make me feel bad about this, EZ.”
- he reemerged from the bathroom, tossing the tissue into the garbage can, “Sounds like a guilty conscience, to me.” You grabbed a pillow and threw it at him, “You’re the worst.” He laughed as he peeled off his now-soaked shirt, “Is that any way to thank the guy who just saved you?”
- you pressed your lips into a thin line, staying silent for a moment before grabbing the other pillow and throwing it at him, “Thank you.”
Creeper:
- 100% comes running into the bathroom with his shotgun in his hand after he hears you scream
- has never heard you express that kind of fear before and definitely think that someone was hiding in the shower and had a knife to your throat or something
- when he sees you perched up on the closed toilet lid he is confused to say the least. Your hair is dripping and you hadn’t even bothered to grab a towel when you jumped out of the shower
- still not completely sure what’s going on, he refuses to completely set down his gun, instead letting it dangle by his side as he looks you over, “Hey, Mama, what’s going on in here?”
- not getting up from your perch, you point to the shower, “You gotta kill it, Neron.”
- “Kill what?” he rips the curtain back but doesn’t see anything at first
- you point aggressively towards the corner of the shower where all the body wash and shampoo bottles are stacked, “The spider!”
- “The spider?” he fights back a laugh as he rests the shotgun across his shoulders, arms dangling over it, “You screaming like that over a spider?”
- “Will you kill it already?!”
- he hands you a towel to wrap around your shoulder, chuckling as he sets his gun down outside the bathroom door. You try to tell him that he might still need the gun and he laughs before stepping into the tub to locate and kill the spider.
- very nicely, he asks you to get off the toilet so he can flush it away down the toilet. You jump up, standing at the very edge of the doorway as you watch him flush it away. He shuts the toilet lid and turns back to you, an amused smile on his face
- “Didn’t know you were afraid of spiders, baby,” he walks over and hugs you, kissing the soaking wet hair on top of your head, “I’ll keep a closer eye out for them.”
- “You better,” you grumble as you lean into his chest, “Or I’m gonna start using the shotgun.”
Hank:
- does not want to burst into the bathroom while you’re in there, feeling like he’s invading your privacy despite the fact that you screamed for him hardly a moment before
- gently knocked on the door and you responded with what he could only describe as a bark as you told him to get in the bathroom now
- once he was halfway inside the door, you pulled him completely in by his hand. He was trying not to stare at you but it was difficult to pry his eyes away from you, not used to seeing you standing around so exposed, and drenched from your shower
- “You gotta kill it, Hank.”
- he raised his eyebrows, “Kill it? Kill what?” You nod towards the shower, “There’s a spider in the shower!”
- all the tension that he was previously holding in his shoulders disappeared. He remembered at one point you’d mentioned that you hated spiders, but he didn't think that you really hated them that much. He knew how much you loved your long, hot showers.
- “I thought you were hurt, Y/N,” he was trying to sound bothered but you could see the smile fighting its way onto his face.
- “Um,” you scoff, “I could’ve been hurt. That thing is the size of a small dog.”
- he chuckled and shook his head, “Alright, alright,” he gently ushered you through the doorway, “Go get changed and I’ll take care of it for you,” he watched you walk towards the bedroom, “Better call the dog warden just in case!”
Taza:
- he heard you calling for him and had no idea what to expect. You weren’t the type to yell across the house for things that you needed.
- when he got to the bathroom, you were standing outside the doorway, towel lazily wrapped around you as you stood and waited for him. With every passing second he became more confused.
- once you told him that there was a spider in the shower and you couldn't go back in the bathroom until it was dead, a smile took over his face and he couldn't help but to laugh
- Che “Catch & Release” Romero
- you were upset that he was going to give the spider a chance to come back and try again to ambush you in the shower, but you knew it was an argument that you weren’t going to win with him.
- within a minute he had it trapped in a cup, covering the opening with his hand as he walked it back through the house to release it.
- he came back to find you sitting cross-legged on the bed, still wrapped in your towel. He tried to sit next to you but you pulled away from him, scooting farther down the bed.
- “What is it, mi amor? Hm?” there was a small, knowing smile on his face as he asked you the question. You huffed, “I don’t want you to touch me with your spider hands!”
- he laughed, “I only touched it with this hand,” he held up his right hand before reaching to caress your face with his left, “So this hand is still safe for you.”
Gilly:
- is under the impression that you are being dramatic about something when you call him into the bathroom for an emergency
- he walks in all cocky, expecting you to have some weird, little favor to ask of him
- he wasn’t thinking that he was going to open the door and nearly cause you to fall over in the process. He catches you, but barely, your dripping skin sliding in his grip.
- “Fuck, what happened in here?” he saw the water all over the floor where you jumped out of the shower
- “You have a spider in your shower!” you pointed frantically. He shook his head, as if he should’ve known that it would be something like that, “So? Shoot it with the showerhead.”
- you give him an offended look, “You shoot it with the showerhead! I don’t want to be anywhere near that thing.” He laughed and pulled the curtain to the side and looked around for the creature in question.
- gets halfway through some smartass remark before seeing the spider and jumping back himself, “Fuck!” 
- your fear would be momentarily outweighed by the satisfaction of seeing Gilly eat his words. You cross your arms over your bare chest, “Just shoot it with the showerhead, baby.”
- you can’t hear too clearly what he’s saying as he grumbles, sliding the boot off of his foot before slamming it down on the floor of the shower, crushing the bug in the process. He would deny it if anyone asked him about it after the fact, but you definitely heard him let out a sigh of relief once he lifted up the boot and saw that the spider was dead
Riz:
- is full of worry as he rushes to the bathroom
- he walks in and sees you standing, leaning back against the sink counter, water dripping off your body onto the floor. His initial instinct is to try and take care of you, grabbing a towel and trying to wrap it around your shoulders.
- “You gotta kill the spider, Riz,” you were completely ignoring the soft gestures he was trying to give you.
- “Wh-what?” he was thoroughly confused, still trying to drape the towel around your shoulders. You grabbed the towel from him, breaking his singular concentration, “There’s a spider in your shower, Riz. You gotta kill it.”
- “Is that what made you scream?” he gently wiped some of the water off of your cheek, “It’ll probably leave you alone if you wanna finish your shower, hermosa.” You turn and look at him, dumbfounded, “Do you...do you shower when you know there’s a spider in there with you?” He shrugged, “We just don’t bother each other.”
- you couldn't believe what you were hearing, “How long have you known there’s a spider in there?” He could sense that he was in hot water already but he couldn't force himself to lie to you, “I mean, I don’t know if it’s always the same spider but--” You couldn't listen to any more of what he was about to say, “Kill it, Michael. Please.”
- he grabbed a second towel and threw it down on the floor to soak up some of the water that you’d dragged out of the shower with you, “Okay, okay. Whatever you want, querida. Go dry off, I’ll take care of the spider.”
- as much as you wanted to be as far away from the spider as possible, you stayed, “I wanna make sure you actually get rid of it.” He chuckled, shaking his head slightly as he reached and shut the shower off. He saw it crawling up onto the lip of the tub and with one smooth motion he crushed it underneath the toe of his boot.
- “All better?” he turned back to you. You tapped your finger against his chest, “No more letting bugs be guests in our shower. I’ll leave. I’ll move out.”
Bonus- Nestor (because i love him):
- he swung the door open and was met with the sight of you standing on top of the closed toilet lid. Instantly he felt like whatever the situation was, was above his paygrade. The shower was still running and water was all over the floor.
- he held his hands out to help you down, “Get down from there. You’re gonna fall and crack your skull.”
- “Better than letting that thing in there kill me!” it was dramatic, but you didn't care. His brows furrowed in confusion, “What thing? Where?” You pointed to the shower, “There’s a spider in the shower, Nes!”
- the expression on his face let you know that he felt that it was far too early in the morning to be dealing with this level of nonsense. He ran his hands down his face before holding them out to you again, “Please get down off the toilet, Y/N.” You shook your head, “Not until you kill the spider.”
- with a deep sigh, he turned the water off in the shower and pulled the curtain to the side. He scanned the tub for a minute before finally finding the threat. He wouldn't admit it to you, but he understood why it freaked you out--it was a big fucking spider.
- not thinking better of it, he picked your slide up off the floor and slammed it down onto the spider, crushing it on the bottom of your shoe. You whined, “Why’d you have to use my shoe?” He turned back to you, his expression painfully neutral, “The spider is dead, isn’t it?” he held his hands out yet again, “Now please get down from there.”
- you placed your hands in his and let him help you down, instantly wrapping your legs around his waist so that he was forced to hold you. It got a laugh out of the both of you as he caught you, holding you up with ease.
- “You owe me new slides, you know,” you chuckled as he carried you to the bedroom. He laughed, “Only if you promise not to climb on the toilet anymore.”
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platypanthewriter · 3 years ago
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Unless...? (Ch. 8)
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Previous | Fic Masterlist
Steve Harrington wants to be best friends with Billy Hargrove.  He wants to marry him–as friends–so they’ll always be together, and he’s going crazy, trying not to be weird about it, and scare Billy off.  Also he’s in a band, and they run a bar.Billy’s buckling under an onslaught of friendly Harrington flirtation.  Also he’s just been hired as the new bartender. For Day 2 of Febuwhump, “I can’t take this anymore.”
In this chapter:  Billy's pretty drunk when he comes back to Steve's hotel room, and he wants to see Steve wear the thongs. 
Billy eventually hauled Steve back out of the bathroom—Steve was content to stand there forever, with Billy’s earnest, alcohol-redolent breath in his face, listening to him proclaim his undying affection—but Billy yanked his arm. “Come on,” he slurred. “Max’s gonna...give up on us.” Steve splashed some water on his hot face, and then trotted after his fiance.
“Did you just bone my brother on the bathroom counter,” Max asked crisply, not looking up from her menu as they approached the table.
“You know it,” Billy said, laughing, and squeezed Steve’s hand.
“Fuck no, that counter’s covered in like ten layers of old hand soap,” Steve said, making a face. “Billy deserves better than old hand soap.”
“Like the alley out back,” Billy muttered, dropping into the booth, and Steve sat too close, elbowing him.
“Like a honeymoon suite,” he countered, and got to hear Max and her brother groan, and watch Billy’s ears turn even redder.
“So I hear Steve has been proposing for like. Months,” she told Billy, who glared at Steve. “You never said a word.”
“He was letting me pine,” Steve said, grabbing the soju away as Billy poured more, and tossing it back.
“Yeah, no more for you,” Max said, grabbing the bottle, and filling her cup. “How come you were still dating that shithead, then?”
“Not enough brain cells,” Billy sighed, and Steve slid an arm around him, then pressed his luck, and a kiss to Billy’s temple, feeling it heat.
“We’re hoping our combined six brain cells are a little smarter,” Steve told Max, and she snorted a laugh—and then smiled a little softer, he thought, watching Billy as he leaned into Steve’s shoulder with a grumbly noise like a drunken bear.
“Thank you,” she mouthed, silently, and Steve flushed. “Be good to him or I’ll kill you,” she added, in a creepily sibilant whisper, and Billy mumbled inquiringly. Steve hugged his head, nodding back at her.
Steve had to half-heft Billy into his hotel room that night, full of barbequed meat and more liquor than was good for either of them, and then help him undress, sliding his hands down Billy’s ass and thighs to get his too-tight jeans off, and crouching between Billy’s knees to pull at his boots. Billy dropped back onto the mattress with a long sigh, and then Steve had to haul him back upright to tug at the buttons on his sleeves, and run his hands over the muscles of Billy’s shoulders to push the shirt off them. He kept pausing to look at Billy’s tattoos, or a couple times because the feel of Billy’s skin was distracting, warm, muscled, a little hairy on his arms and legs, and softer over his stomach and ass. Billy curled away from Steve’s hands on his abs.
“Quit it,” he mumbled. “You don’t care if I do my crunches, right, if I’m not...cut,” and Steve shook his head, running his knuckles over the soft curls that crept out of Billy’s pajama pants toward his bellybutton.
“Nah, you’re perfect,” he said honestly. “You’d be perfect if you turned into that blueberry from the Willy Wonka movie, y’know.”
“...s’weird you don’t give a shit,” Billy sighed, his whole body flushed with alcohol as he watched Steve’s knuckles stroke his side softly.
“If you’re too pretty, people are gonna keep following you home,” Steve told him. “And what if I just like, see you when I’m onstage, and I drop my guitar?”
Billy burst into cackling laughter, his eyes wide. “You think I’m pretty?” he asked breathlessly, and Steve snorted a laugh.
“I have eyes, man,” he told him, and Billy’s smile widened, lazy and delighted.
“You think I’m pretty,” he mumbled, still giggling.
“Of course I do,” Steve told him, reaching up to tuck Billy’s hair behind his ear, and cupping his warm, stubbly cheek to feel him smile. “You’d probably look way better in those thongs,” he sighed. “I look like a moron who forgot to wash his own underwear. Or like, those bastards at the laundromat, you know, that just steal whatever, and you’re like ‘what the hell did you want with one of every sock’.”
“Y-you put them on,” Billy choked out, pushing himself back upright to stare at Steve’s face, and Steve scrambled back, licking his lips. “You wore them?!”
“Uh,” Steve said, his cheeks heating. “I mean, just—just in case you were serious, I wanted it to fit.”
“...I wanna see,” Billy said, drunk and sincere, and Steve couldn’t believe those wide, hazy eyes were lying to him.
He grimaced. “Whatever you’re imagining, it’s probably gonna look more stupid than that.”
“It’s gonna be a religious experience,” Billy said, patting around the bed for his phone, and Steve groaned, rubbing his face.
“Why don’t you wear ‘em,” he tried, “—if you like the damn things so much.”
“You said,” Billy huffed, still slapping the bed for his phone, and pouting, so Steve sighed, grabbed Billy’s phone, slapped it into his outstretched hand, and dropped his pants. Billy made a noise like he’d swallowed a leaking helium balloon, and Steve heard the camera shutter noise.
“You send anybody that picture and I’ll—” break your face, was Steve’s first thought, but then he remembered Billy’s bruises. “—I’ll order pineapple and anchovies on every pizza for the next year.”
“...hurting yourself to hurt me,” Billy huffed.
“I can gag it down,” Steve told him triumphantly, and yanked his briefs off, to another strangled sound from Billy, and more shutter noises. “...I mean it, though, don’t send blackmail pictures to Robin.”
“...blackmail pictures,” Billy said weakly, as Steve set his jaw, closed his eyes, and pulled on the blue thong. His t-shirt partly covered it, thank god, he thought, because his dick was aware there was somebody on his bed even if Billy was a dude, and the friction of the satin was weird, so he had kind of the beginning of a hard-on. He sighed. Billy swallowed, his throat clicking like he needed something to drink. “...take the t-shirt off,” he whispered, and Steve stared back at him.
“Seriously?! You can see how it fits!”
“Come on,” Billy whispered, and Steve groaned, but yanked his t-shirt over his head to more shutter noises. He tried to ignore his stupid cock thinking fancy underwear meant anything on him, and stared past Billy at the ugly 80’s pink and grey motel art. “...you look like somebody’s pulling your teeth,” Billy said.
“...the hell you want,” Steve gritted out. “I look like an idiot.”
“Well, they got me to fucking...agree to marry you, right, you could look like it wasn’t the shittiest day of your life,” Billy said, glowering at his phone, and Steve sighed.
“Okay, what then? Should I like. Pose,” he asked, flexing half-heartedly, and Billy took a weird jerky breath.
“...you really...think you look bad in those,” he rasped out, and Steve snorted a laugh, frowning down.
“I’ve got elastic up my ass,” he said, squirming. “I’m not even sure how I thought they were sexy on women anymore, jesus.”
“You look like a centerfold,” Billy said hoarsely, and Steve—who’d spent nearly a year wondering whether he wanted to be around Billy or just be Billy—felt better instantly.
“...really?!” Steve asked, staring down at his untanned (compared to Billy’s) stomach, and his uninked arms. “...yeah, I’m hot, right?” he asked, laughing with relief. “I know I’m hot, huh, not everybody can look like you.” He twisted his body into a tits-and-ass superheroine pose, pursing his lips at Billy, who made a noise in his throat like he was dying. Steve snickered, and stuck his arm out and up to the side like he was Superman. “Truth, justice, and the American way,” he said, and Billy snorted a high-pitched laugh.
He’d half-covered his face, but he was still snapping pictures, and Steve couldn’t help wanting him to laugh harder, because Billy was cute, pink-cheeked with drink, giggling. Steve spread his arms, hearkening back to a long-ago role in the school production of My Fair Lady. “I have often slept/in this room before,” he began, throwing his arms wide, “—but the carpet always stayed beneath my feet before. All at once am IIIII/several stories hiiiiiigh/knowing I’m in the room where you aaaaare—” he sang, and Billy burst out laughing, letting himself fall backwards on the bed cackling, his hands over his face.
Steve climbed up on the bed again, sitting on Billy’s legs like they were five, and kept going. “AND OHHHHHH, THE TOWERING FEELING,” he belted out, “—JUST TO KNOOOOW/SOMEHOW YOU ARE NEAR—”
Billy shoved at him, laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe, and turning a little to bury his face in the pillows.
Steve beamed, taking a quick breath. “THE OHHHHVERPOWERING FEELING/THAT ANY SECOND YOU MAY SUDDENLY APPEAR—” he paused, because the neighbors were banging on the walls again, and put his hands on his hips.
“Oh my god,” Billy wheezed, wiping tears from his eyes. “Stop, stop, before they throw us out, jesus christ you fucking loon.”
“Maybe they prefer Elton John,” Steve said thoughtfully, opening his mouth to try some of Your Song, and Billy tackled him to the bed, both hands over Steve’s mouth, which was suddenly kind of awkward, as Steve remembered he was wearing only a thong. He tried to sort of hum that he was disarmed and un-dangerous, but Billy glowered suspiciously, leaning harder to hold his hands over Steve’s mouth, his mouth still quirked as he shook a little with suppressed snickering.
Steve tried not to squirm. Billy’s pajama pants were soft and thin, and Steve could feel thigh muscles through them. Billy’s butt hovered right over his dick, barely bound by the scrap of satin and lace, and it was hard to think of anything but that couple of inches of space between Billy feeling safe as friends, and finding out Steve got idiotically turned on by people thinking he was funny and hot.
Billy was panting, still out of breath from laughing, his chest and abs flexing right before Steve’s eyes, so he closed them, feeling the heat spread over his face. “You gonna behave?” he hissed, and Steve considered shaking his head, so Billy would just...stay on top of him, maybe, maybe fell asleep there, while Steve spent an agonizing night trying not to squirm and Billy breathed contentedly into his neck.
He nodded, instead, and Billy pushed himself up to stretch.
“You’re insane,” he commented.
“Everybody serenades fiances,” Steve said indignantly. “I could read you poetry instead.”
“Holy fuck, no,” Billy hissed, reaching to slap a hand over Steve’s face again, and Steve kissed his hand. He snatched it back like Steve had burned him, swinging his leg off Steve to curl his whole body into the pillows, groaning. “Why are you like this,” he sighed, still laughing.
“You love me,” Steve pointed out, biting his lip uncertainly, and Billy sighed again.
“Yeah.”
Steve dropped down next to him, his shoulder against Billy’s back, and imagined he and Billy in their suits. “We got a fitting tomorrow,” he said softly. “For the suits.”
“...yeah, I know,” Billy said, leaning back against him. “You gonna wear the blue thong? Something borrowed and everything?”
Steve laughed. “Oh. I was thinking white lace. Weddings. Y’know.”
“You...thought about it,” Billy mumbled.
“Dude, I’ve done nothing but think about it,” Steve told him, pushing himself up on his elbows. “I keep thinking you’re gonna say it was all a joke. Thongs, seriously? I’ll wear ‘em every damn day if it keeps you around, man.”
“...bro,” Billy said, laughing into his pillow with kind of a whine.
“Yeah,” Steve agreed, grimacing. He swung his legs off the bed, and grabbed his jeans off the floor. “I’m gonna shower,” he told Billy, who was sounding sleepy, and saw what was probably a nod.
In the bathroom, he stared at himself in the mirror again, and felt less shitty about being a man in satin and lace, because really, people could just...wear things, he figured, it wasn’t like the fabric cared. Billy’d looked happy as he laughed, and Steve smiled at the thought, and flexed again in the mirror. He was half-tempted to get a little apron or something and make Billy laugh his ass off again.
His dick still hadn’t gotten the message that it wouldn’t be getting any action, and he tried to ignore it fully peeking over the top of the elastic, and the damp spot from his reaction to getting thrown down on a bed. It’d be actually and metaphorically hard to sleep next to Billy without taking care of it, though, and he let himself thumb over the tip, biting back a groan, and trying not to think anything weird about Billy’s weight on him, or the muscles of his forearms as he held Steve down by the face.
He reminded himself of Tommy shoving his hand away, and stalking out of his life, and tried to think about tits as he climbed in the shower, his shoulders hunched.
The feeling wasn’t really the same, he told himself—he knew what he was feeling, watching a woman squeeze into a dress, and thinking about peeling her out of it, but it’d never been clear, as he tried to dress up like Han Solo, what exactly he wanted—to kiss him, or be him, or just be...as cool as him, or maybe just to have a janky spaceship to share with his very best friend.
He peeled out of the thong, his cheeks burning, and stepped into the shower, soaping his hand up. It only took a few yanks before he came over his fingers, thinking annoyingly neither of Billy nor an anonymous woman’s mouth, but ofTommy, how he’d shoved Steve against the doorjamb, and said “Yeah, why shouldn’t I go over to Carol’s again? What you got that’s better than her, huh?”
Steve had been bewildered when Tommy started yanking at his pants, but also drunk, and horny from the porn. The woman onscreen was still panting and begging, her tits jiggling, and it was hot with the heat of an Indiana summer, but their beers were cold. The sound of distant frogs nearly drowned out the grunting on the screen. Tommy’s hands were hot and tight, and at nineteen it didn’t take much. Steve’d woken deep under the surface of a hangover, looking around at his limp, sticky cock half out of his pants, and taken a shower before he even remembered what had happened the night before.
Tommy’d never picked up his calls again.
It hadn’t even been his idea, Steve didn’t think, scrubbing at his hair as his brain went over the familiar ground—Tommy’d yanked at his jeans, while Steve stared like a drunk idiot. He tried to remember—again—whether he’d leaned in too far, or seemed too willing, and growled, sticking his head under the showerhead.
After he towelled off, he slid into bed behind Billy, and slid an arm around him. Billy snorted powerfully, smacking his lips, and rolled over to grapple Steve in closer, smacking a kiss to Steve’s jaw. “...love...babe,” he mumbled, nuzzling his head into Steve’s neck, and tossing a thigh over his legs.
Steve lay motionless, his heart pounding, staring at the ceiling.
In the morning, Billy insisted they couldn’t be fitted together, and see each other before the wedding. Then he drove home.
After the gig the next night, Steve drove home after him. He slowed as he passed Billy’s apartment, but it was four-fifteen in the morning, and he was pretty sure that was grounds for divorce.
He couldn’t stop grinning, and typing text drafts to Billy he didn’t send, and checking the time, so finally he just cleaned—he scrubbed the whole fridge, and pulled all the popsicles and discount steak out to defrost the freezer. If he’d been female, he thought, with kind of a shivery feeling in his stomach, he’d have eaten the popsicles when Billy was over—just sucked them down until he gave himself brain freeze, leaning his head back so Billy could see the muscles working in his cheeks and throat. Steve bit his lips together, sighing, and gripped the counter, wishing the stupid, useless image wasn’t stuck in his head.
The sheets smelled kinda stale, so he washed them, and put another load of laundry in, before checking the time again, seeing it was too early to take Billy any breakfast, and flopping face-first on the couch with a groan.
He awoke to his phone ringing, and answered in a grunted slur of syllables even he couldn’t identify. It was Joyce Byers’ voice, he registered, his brain feeling like its tires were spinning in mud.
“Billy’s sick,” she told him. “He sounds awful. He’s by himself.”
“Enh,” Steve said. “Grungh.”
“...I thought you might be on the road,” she said. “Weren’t you coming back today?”
“M’I’m,” Steve mumbled, and rolled half on his side to prop himself up. “M’here. Drove...las’night.”
“Sorry to wake you, sweetie,” she said, sounding suspiciously like she was laughing. “He’s just as impatient to see you, hon. That’s why I called. He was smiling all night. I had to pinch his pink cheeks.”
“...my pink cheeks,” Steve muttered indignantly, and she laughed again.
“Go take him some cold medicine, okay? Maybe something hot to eat?”
Steve slapped his face a few times to try and get his brain back online, blinked, and frowned worriedly. “Is—is he okay?”
“Sounds like a question for the man himself. We’ve got this, if you don’t want to come in tonight,” she said. “Tell him not to worry about anything, and feel better!”
“O-okay,” Steve said, nodding.
“Make him take a nap too, sweetie,” she said, and hung up. Steve blinked at his phone, and then called Billy.
He didn’t answer.
Steve grimaced, sat down to work on the chords for his nearly-finished song, couldn’t focus, and cleaned the garage. He tried again an hour later, and got no response, so he waited a couple more hours, did all the dishes, and scrubbed the stove.
He kept thinking about being sick, and he started to want soup, so he rummaged through his cupboards, and then pulled out the cookbook Joyce had helped him pick out when he first started living on his own. It had chicken soup in it, and Steve studied the ingredients carefully, jotting them down.
When he got to the part of the recipe that said ‘if using noodles, add them now,’ he stalled out, staring helplessly. He side-eyed the phone, and didn’t call again—Billy was probably asleep, he reminded himself, and there Steve was, waking him up every god damn hour.
He went out and bought sick-person groceries—the soup ingredients, obviously. Kleenex, benadryl, cough syrup, cough drops—and popsicles in case Billy had a sore throat. He got two whole boxes, resolutely not thinking about either of them actually eating them. He got a loaf of bread to slice for thick crunchy toast, and a carton of eggs to soft-boil. He threw some fluffy slippers by the register in, and then circled around again when he remembered tea.
When he knocked on Billy’s door, he kept it fairly quiet, and busied himself setting up a bag with all the things Billy might want—there was no point in giving a sick person the raw carrots for the chicken soup. Just as he was trying to remember whether Billy had a toaster oven, the door opened, and Billy stared down at him, wrapped in a blanket. His nose and lips were red, chapped and peeling.
“Sorry I woke you up, I’ll go away,” Steve told him, standing up, and grabbing both bags of groceries. “But I just need to ask, rice or noodles?”
“Why are you going away,” Billy croaked.
“I, um,” Steve stumbled, uncertain. “But uh, I’m—I’m making chicken soup, so: rice, or noodles?”
“...you’re making me soup?” Billy sighed, leaning against the door jamb. “...what are you doing out here?”
“I brought you stuff,” Steve told him, wincing. “Uh, is it—can I come in?” Billy backed away, tottering over to blow his nose, and Steve came in and kicked the door shut with his feet.
It was both humid and cold, and Steve grimaced into the dim light, watching Billy curl up on the corner of the couch in his jeans and the sweatshirt from their work. He was surrounded by used kleenex. “...I brought…” Steve trailed off, as Billy tried to tuck the blanket over his toes, and not pull it off his head. “...why’s it so cold in here?” he asked, and Billy’s head jerked up.
“It’s fucking cold, right?! I knew the fucking thermostat wasn’t working—” he stopped, sighing.
“Okay, no,” Steve announced. “You’re coming to my place. I promise not to make you sign any, like, prenuptials, come on.”
“...I’m sick,” Billy told him, petulantly, as Steve found his shoes.
“That would be why,” Steve told him, battling to get one arm out of the blanket at a time, and push Billy’s arms into his coat. “You can figure out the thermostat later—I’ll call and fight with them, if you want—but I can see my breath in here.”
Billy submitted to being bundled down the stairs in untied shoes, his coat on, and his blanket wrapped around it, and Steve loaded the groceries back in, handing Billy the box of tissues.
“So,” Steve asked, as he shifted into reverse. “Noodles or rice? I bought both. We could try both, I guess,” he said, considering, and then realized Billy was trying to cover a laugh, which turned into a racking cough. He sounded like the seals at the zoo.
“I don’t give a shit,” he said, finally, when he could talk.
All my Harringrove fic!
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crazy4malex · 6 years ago
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Frantic Flyer
Inspired by Prompt 127   "It's turbulence. It's normal." 
"Michael, would you relax." Alex whispered in frustration. This was the fourth time Michael had gotten up to get something in his duffel bag above the seat. The fifth time he'd read the emergency card, and the second time, he'd asked if they engines were working okay because he couldn't hear them. 
"I wish I had a Valium to give you, you're driving me and everyone else around us crazy." Alex whispered glancing around and seeing frowning passengers looking at them. 
"I can't help it. I don't like not being in control. I don't like being in a huge tin can going at the speed of light being held up by small engines, and entrusting two tired pilots to get me down safe." Michael rambled and twitched some more, looking around to see if everything looked okay. Passengers not getting sucked out of the plane, check, no holes in the plane, check, no engines failing, check.
   Alex laughed at Michael's exaggeration of the whole thing. "Okay, lets get you one drink, just to calm your nerves. I don't want you drunk up here."
 "Only one? Make it two." Michael decided. "Just two." he said before Alex could argue. 
The flight attendant came around and when she saw  Michael, long legged, spread wide as he slumped in the seat, wearing blue jeans, cowboy boots, a huge belt buckle,  a shirt showing a hairy chest, and touchable curls on top of all that, she practically drooled. "What can I get you darling?" the attractive woman asked.
 Alex frowned. That's all he needed to top off this insane flight. "WE would like two whiskeys." he said holding Michael's hand and showing her their matching rings. The flight attendant stopped smiling and stood up straighter. 
"Right away sir." she said quickly and left. 
"Aww...now you didn't have to scare the woman to death, Alex Guerin." Michael smiled and then chuckled, meeting Alex's amused look and his own chuckle.  Then he looked seriously into Michael's eyes.  
"What?" Michael asked.
 "Alex Guerin. I love the sound of that. I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing it." Alex grinned and gazed at their joined hands with the matching rings. 
"I won't get tired of saying it either." Michael said softly, leaning into Alex and they shared a sweet, gentle kiss. 
Then the plane shook and Michael sat up, broke off the kiss and grabbed hold of the seat with one hand and squeezed Alex's with the other. Alex winced at the tight grip Michael had on him. The guy was strong when he was angry or anxious. Normally Michael would notice Alex's wince and release his hand immediately, but right now he was in his own world of fear.
 "Relax Michael, It's turbulence. It's normal." and he tapped Michael's hand and he loosened Alex's right away.
 "Sorry." he mumbled. 
Alex sighed. They were on their honeymoon which was the only way he could get Michael on a plane to begin with.  If he would have know how terrified Michael was of flying he wouldn't  have chosen Hawaii. But he'd thought it would be so romantic. Besides, who ever heard of an alien being afraid of flying? Alex mused. 
When the plane suddenly dropped, Michael whimpered and got in the brace position. 
 "Hey, that happens too, it's just a little bit more noticeable, but it's normal, just some air pockets." Alex explained, rubbing Michael's back. He needed a distraction. He couldn't think of any games they could play because as soon as they hit more turbulence, Michael would be distracted again. 
He frowned thinking and then smiled. He stood up and took Michael's hand. "Come on." he coaxed and his husband stood up, his tall lanky cowboy looked good he thought as he ran his eyes up and down his sexy body. He led Michael to the bathroom. 
 "I don't have to go." Michael said with an exasperated sigh.  
Alex laughed and opened the door. "I don't either." Alex smiled wickedly. Michael was too distracted to figure it out.  "Come on Cowboy, Alex said thickly, giving Michael a hooded look and pulled him into the bathroom.  "I'm gonna give you the ride of your life."
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lamptracker · 6 years ago
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FIC: Spy vs. Spy (Harrison Osterfield/Female Reader) (Part 1/?)
(Edited to add moodboard)
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Awhile back - I think it was on Harrison Appreciation Night - an anon suggested a Spy!AU blurb where Harrison and the reader are rival spies who keep getting put together on missions. I decided it was too good an idea for just a blurb and am making it a series. So, here we go.
FIC: Spy vs. Spy
Characters: Spy!Harrison Osterfield, Spy!Female Reader
Overall summary: Harrison Osterfield, one of Britain’s top spies, keeps getting thrown into missions with rival spy (y/n). Can they work together without killing each other? Or will something more develop?
Part summary: By-the-book spy Harrison is having trouble on a mission, until they send in the “big guns” - loose cannon (Y/n).
Warnings: Language, smoking (it’s bad for you, kids)
“Osterfield!” the angry-sounding man barked into the earpiece Harrison was wearing. “It’s been three hours and you still haven’t gotten him to talk?”
“Don’t you think I’m trying, Cumberbatch?” Harrison grumbled into the microphone. “I’ve done everything, he’s not budging.”
Harrison Osterfield was one of Britain’s top spies. He was usually very good at his job. He had ways of making people talk, of causing chaos and destruction… all without any of it being traced to him.
Sometimes, though… his clients proved difficult.
“Well,” Cumberbatch said, “I have no choice. I’m sending in the big guns.”
Harrison groaned. “Oh, dear God, no. Not her.”
“She’ll be there within the hour. In the meantime… do your best to make him talk.”
Sighing, Harrison raked a hand through his blond curls.
Her was (y/n). She was Britain’s top female spy. She was everything a spy should be - sexy, smart, not afraid to get her hands dirty.
She was also, by some standards, a loose cannon. She loved explosions and was a demolitions expert. Some spies followed a very strict guidebook as to what they would do for a case.
(y/n) had no such guidebook.
And it drove Harrison absolutely crazy. He couldn’t stand this woman. Apparently, the feeling was mutual; she bad-mouthed him at every chance she got.
“Listen, mate,” Harrison said, pressing the barrel of his gun to the man’s head one more time. “I’m not going anywhere. You’re a little… tied up right now. They’re sending in someone to make you talk. I suggest you tell me where the shipment is headed before she gets here; she’s a nightmare to deal with.”
“She?” The man tied to the chair laughed. “You think I’m afraid of a girl? No dice, pal.”
“Oh, we’re all going to regret this,” Harrison muttered as he heard tires squealing outside.
A few moments later, the door to the abandoned warehouse Harrison and the man were occupying burst open. In walked (y/n), wearing a tank top, tight jeans, and black ankle boots. She wore a belt with a holster on each hip; Harrison knew one was for her pistol but couldn’t figure out what the other was for.
“Ooh,” said the man. “She’s a pretty one.”
“Pretty evil,” Harrison retorted; (y/n) rolled her eyes.
“I heard that, Osterfield.”
“Well, I said it loud. Good luck, he’s not talking.” He reached into his pocket, pulling out a pack of cigarettes. “I’m going out for a smoke. Let me know if things get hairy.”
“Oh, they won’t,” (y/n) assured him. She walked over to the captive, slinging one leg over his lap as she straddled him. “Now, my friend Harrison says you’re being awfully quiet about where this shipment is headed.”
Harrison heaved another deep sigh as he walked out the door. He stuck the cigarette between his lips and lit it, taking a long drag.
Was he that bad at his job, that they had to call her in? Or was this guy just stubborn?
Harrison hoped that it was the second thing, that he would be too tough a nut for even (y/n) to crack.
Alas, that was not to be. He was halfway through his cigarette when he suddenly heard a loud shriek and the man yelling, “Okay, okay! Fine! I’ll talk, but not to you! Get that other guy back in here!”
Cursing to himself, Harrison dropped the cigarette on the ground and stomped it out. He went back into the warehouse to find (y/n) leaning over the man, a Taser pressed to his neck. (If he had to guess, that was what was in the second holster; if he were a betting man, he’d bet that she’d already used it once, and in a very sensitive area.)
“Get this crazy bitch away from me!” he shouted.
“Some people just can’t take 10,000 volts to the groin,” she sighed sadly as she walked away; she tucked the taser back into her holster.
Harrison just stared at her as she sauntered toward the door, his mouth agape. Then, he remembered he had a job to do and turned his attention to the man tied to the chair.
“Okay, talk,” Harrison snarled. “Or else she comes back with the Taser.”
The man bit his lower lip. “Please, anything but that.” He swallowed thickly. “It’s coming in at 6pm at Dingman’s Wharf, Eastern Harbor. Biggest shipment of weapons this side of Brighton. They’ll kill me if they find out I told you, I…”
“You just met (y/n), briefly. Five more minutes with her… you’ll wish you were dead.” Harrison patted the man’s shoulder. “Thanks for all your help today.” He then punched the man square in the jaw as he picked up the phone to call Cumberbatch with the information. “Dingman’s Wharf, Eastern Harbor, 6pm.”
“Excellent work,” Cumberbatch said. “See, you and (y/n) work well together, don’t you?”
Harrison snorted. “We work together. That’s about it.”
“Well… I know the two of you have had your differences, but you can’t deny you make a good team.”
“Yes, I can.”
Cumberbatch chuckled. “Well, thank you again for all your hard work today. We’ll call you soon with your next assignment.”
“Thanks.” Harrison hung up the phone and stepped outside, where (y/n) was leaning against the wall. She took a long drag off a cigarette and smiled at him.
“We did great in there,” she said. “Cigarette?”
“Got my own, thanks.” Harrison pulled one out of his pack and lit it. “You know, there are more delicate ways to get information. Ways that don’t involve being a psychotic bitch.”
“Those ways are less fun.” She took another, shorter drag off her cigarette and held the smoke in her mouth for a moment before exhaling slowly. “Besides, if I hadn’t shown up, you’d still be in there. You can’t be afraid to think outside the box, Osterfield. Stop being such a pussy.”
Harrison scoffed as he took a puff of his cigarette. “Well, I’d say it was a pleasure working with you, but we both know I’d be lying. I honestly hope I never see you again.”
“Right back atcha, Haz.” She winked at him as she extinguished the last of her cigarette. “I hope you rot in Hell.”
“I’d never come bother you at home, love.” Harrison flicked his cigarette butt to the ground, stepping on it as he walked to his car. As he buckled his seat belt, he silently hoped that Management would keep her out of his way.
But little did he know… out of that mission, a reluctant partnership would be born.
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themegalosaurus · 7 years ago
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lipglosskaz replied to your photoset “lipglosskaz: phxcon spam 2/4     [source]    (for cici)”
I think jared should be a huge hairy mountain man/lumberjack and Jensen should be a librarian. They meet in the local Cafe when Jensen trips over jared's ginormous legs ✔️✔️ 
Jensen wears glasses and is slightly grumpy and Jared is like a puppy
!! I was thinking non-AU RPF but I’m here for this. Jensen a bit buttoned-up (literally buttoned-up in high-necked shirt and cardigan) and Jared scruffy jeans and dirty work shirts and big boots, and Jensen kind of sniffy about Jared’s personal hygiene (all sweaty after days chopping down trees) but after a close encounter in the library stacks (turns out Jared’s more intellectual than he first appeared) Jensen starts to think maybe ermmmmm actually there’s something squirmily sexy about Jared’s not-so-sanitised, in-your-face physicality
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anneedmonds · 6 years ago
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Sudden Weather Confusion: What Do We Wear Now?
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After a glorious, long spell of hot weather, temperatures have dramatically dipped in the UK, seemingly leaving half the population wondering what an earth to wear. It’s as though we’ve completely forgotten what normal dressing is. What type of footwear goes with trousers? What even are trousers?
I saw a man yesterday walking into Bath Spa station wearing chino shorts with polished black dress shoes, his briefcase bouncing off his hairy legs as he strode along. One lady was clutching both a battery-operated mini-fan and a coat in her right hand, an umbrella looped over her left, covering as many meteorological scenarios as possible. I saw someone wearing a tie with a polo shirt, another wearing a pinstriped suit with rubber flip flops.
I’ve fallen into the (not altogether displeasing) routine of wearing flimsyish summer dresses with huge, warm, fluffy cardigans over the top. It means that I can continue wearing the exact same wardrobe as during the heatwave (mostly my Whistles dresses) but keep off any brief chilly moments with a mountain of cardigan fuzz. This approach to dressing does have its disadvantages, mainly that there’s no middle ground – only lightweight dress or centrally-heated fur-suit (it’s like being a cat) but it’s convenient (what’s easier than slipping on a cardy?) and it means that I don’t have to delve into the jeans drawer.
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I have no idea where this post is going, other than to tell you about a new dress I bought a couple of weeks ago – the Hyacincth from Boden*. I thought that the print was a bit rock ‘n’ roll – tiny stars on a green background – but on closer inspection they’re actually flowers. Still, even with the fluttery sleeves and wispy fabric, it doesn’t feel overly pretty – it lends itself very well to being toughened up with a leather jacket and some buckled boots. I couldn’t find mine (and it was still twenty four degrees outside) so I dug out some old Topshop boots.
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I say old, but I don’t think I’ve worn these green suede beauties even once! Do you remember when I featured them, way back in 2015? I called them the “perfect autumn boots” (post here). But despite their “high end feel” and “gorgeous sexy shape” they didn’t make it out of the cupboard. Big mistake – huge! The heel is just lovely, the colour looks very expensive and the buckle is a brilliant designer detail. If Topshop ever make these again (they were called Honey) then snap them up. They’re not hugely comfy, but neither are they torturous. Selling them there, aren’t I?
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Back to the Hyacinth dress and its flippy, lightweight fabric – this is the sort of dress you can wear immediately and layer up as the weather gets cooler. Sandals and no cardigan in August, white trainers and chunky knitwear in September, wool coat and a cashmere hat in November. You’ll have to ad lib for October, it’s always a weird month, and by December you should really have worked out how to layer stuff. It’s really as simple as just adding more clothes.
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You can find the Hyacinth at Boden online here* – it’s £60 but I had a voucher code on the back of a flyer and got 10% off. I have the size 10, regular, and it’s satisfyingly roomy. I’m usually a large UK10/small 12, so I’d say that this dress comes up slightly large. It has quite a relaxed fit anyway – it would look very wrong if it was tight – but if you’re on the fence between two sizes I’d probably plump for the smaller one. Actually, I just order two sizes when I’m buying online and then send the wrong one back – nearly everyone has a free returns service these days…
The post Sudden Weather Confusion: What Do We Wear Now? appeared first on A Model Recommends.
Sudden Weather Confusion: What Do We Wear Now? was first posted on August 9, 2018 at 9:55 pm. ©2018 "A Model Recommends". Use of this feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this article in your feed reader, then the site is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact me at [email protected] Sudden Weather Confusion: What Do We Wear Now? published first on https://medium.com/@SkinAlley
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