#hairdressers is evil for example (nothing against hairdressers lol i just know that even i can’t stand being touched and making small talk

[aardvaark]

tags by @independent-fics :

YES!! i mean somehow nate’s apartment is stocked with orange soda, cereal, coffee, and enough actual ingredients for eliot to cook. they all have wildly different habits regarding food (both hardison and parker have like One Main Food they consume, sophie is fairly picky, sober!nate was mainly just drinking a ton of coffee, and eliot’s trying to get them to have actual nutrition). so i think trying to do the groceries would be HARD. they start off just bringing their own food (and slowly replacing everything in nate’s fridge & pantry) but at some point they would have to negotiate fridge & pantry space. (the fact that it’s *nate’s* apartment and the idea that he might get a bigger say is not even considered, obviously. it’s their collective place, he just happens to stay there full time).

plus i kinda thought… has parker ever actually bought groceries? it’s entirely possible that she’s just been doing heists of grocery stores in the middle of the night all this time (and good for her tbh <3). if that fact ever came to light, though, i think the team might decide to go grocery shopping as a team, just for the sake of it. hardison & sophie & parker are like "team bonding activity <3", eliot just wants to get real human food, nate is very much scheming to sit in the car. in fact, he was planning on simply not going, but i guess we can call this half a win.

positives about this new style of obtaining groceries for parker: shopping cart & van allows for more to be carried at once, lights are on, you can browse cereal brands easier with no time pressure, friends are more willing to come with you (especially for friends who aren’t thieves, like peggy).

negatives: legal, boring, they take your money, loud/crowded sometimes, forced social interactions with strangers, eliot insists on taking his time to pick out produce, not allowed to pick up stuff and eat it straight away.

parker’s other notes: apparently impolite to take all the free samples (false advertising!). luckily, sophie can grift the person running the free sample counter into letting you take extra. she’s also willing to distract people so you can steal & eat stuff as you go. this will prevent you from starving to death while hardison assesses different snack options & eliot analyses fruit quality for what feels like a billion hours.

list of things parker has to slowly get used to in leverage season 1:

being around people a lot more

owning a plant

eliot’s home cooked meals at dinner time (nice, but goes against her instinctive grazing method and cereal-heavy diet)

questions. everyone’s all "how are you, parker?" and "what do you mean, parker?" and "why are you in my house at 3AM watching me sleep, parker?"

Emotions (derogatory)

Talking About Emotions (even worse)

having her own office (she’s found that this is useful for things like Plant Placement, Weapons Storage and Naps)

the team’s "safety concerns" like not wanting to get decapitated by elevators or whatever

rules about starting fires in the offices (luckily no such rules exist for hardison’s van)

going grocery shopping for office snacks with the team, which is like stealing supplies, but legal and boring

being part of a team

being part of a more-than-a-team team