#haircut training center

[apathygender]

I couldn't decide which one I liked better.

[petrov88]

Kathir was a handsome young man living in the bustling city of Mumbai. He had always been popular among girls, but deep down, he felt something missing - an unexplainable yearning for men that he couldn't quite put into words.One day, on a whim, Kathir decided to get a bold new haircut at a trendy salon. The stylist convinced him to try a messy, asymmetrical look with choppy layers that framed his face. As Kathir gazed at his reflection, he noticed a certain allure to this edgier version of himself.On the subway ride home, Kathir caught the eye of a pierced and tattooed man sitting across from him. Their gazes locked, and Kathir felt a jolt of electricity course through his body.

The stranger flashed a charming smile, revealing a silver stud glinting in his left eyebrow. Kathir found himself captivated by the mysterious man's rugged beauty. As the train lurched forward, the stranger stood up and approached Kathir.Hey there, cute haircut, he said, his voice low and smooth like honey. I'm Raja.Kathir's heart raced as he shook Raja's hand, feeling the warmth of his touch. Thanks... I just got it done, he replied, trying to sound casual despite the butterflies in his stomach.Raja leaned in closer, his breath tickling Kathir's ear. You know, that style really suits you. Makes your eyes pop even more. He paused, then added, And those lips... perfect for kissing.

Kathir stumbled home in a daze, his mind reeling from the encounter with Raja. As he passed a street mirror, he froze in horror. There, reflected back at him, was a completely different person - his face now adorned with multiple piercings, each one glinting menacingly in the sunlight.Panic set in as Kathir frantically tried to wipe away the metal studs, but they remained stubbornly in place. His hands trembled as he approached the bathroom mirror, bracing himself for the worst.The image staring back was surreal yet undeniably real. Kathir's once pristine features were now marked by industrial-style piercings - a barbell through his nose, rings in his eyebrows, and even a hoop in his lower lip.

Kathir's shock turned to disbelief as he stepped inside his apartment. Everything seemed to have shifted, as if he'd entered a parallel universe. His wardrobe, once filled with crisp business attire, now held a rainbow of vibrant clothing - neon tank tops, tight jeans, and even a few skirts.In the center of the room, his tailored suit hung on a rack, but instead of its usual charcoal gray, it was a hot pink number with flashy gold buttons. Kathir's eyes widened as he picked it up, the fabric surprisingly soft against his skin.As he explored further, he discovered his dresser drawers had been raided, their contents replaced with an array of colorful accessories - chunky belts, studded chokers, and enough eyeliner to paint a small town. Even his bedding had transformed, now sporting a playful print of cartoon characters in various states of undress.

Overwhelmed, Kathir collapsed onto his newly reupholstered bed, the plush velvet enveloping him like a sensual embrace. He buried his face in the pillows, inhaling deeply, and was surprised to detect a faint scent of musk and leather.As he lay there, Kathir began to notice subtle changes within himself. His senses felt heightened, and his skin tingled with an unfamiliar heat. He became acutely aware of the piercings adorning his face, the metal cool against his flushed cheeks.Suddenly, a wave of arousal washed over him, leaving him breathless and hardening beneath his pants. Kathir's mind raced, trying to comprehend what was happening to his body and his desires. He reached down to adjust himself, his fingers brushing against the growing bulge, when a knock at the door shattered the intimate moment.

Kathir groaned in frustration, not wanting to be disturbed in his state of confusion and arousal. But the persistent knocking continued, growing louder and more insistent.With a heavy sigh, he reluctantly made his way to the door, adjusting his disheveled appearance as best he could. When he opened it, he was greeted by the same pierced and tattooed man from the subway, Raja, standing in the hallway with a mischievous grin.Well, well, looks like someone's embracing their inner rebel, Raja teased, his gaze roaming over Kathir's altered appearance. I must say, the makeover suits you. Though I think we're just getting started...Before Kathir could respond, Raja slipped past him into the apartment, his presence filling the space with an electric energy.

Kathir watched in amazement as Raja sauntered into his living room, his own outfit shifting before Kathir's eyes. The tight black jeans and band tee disappeared, replaced by a snug pink button-down shirt that hugged Raja's muscular frame.The shirt was a vibrant fuchsia hue, adorned with tiny white polka dots that seemed to dance across the fabric. It was a far cry from Raja's previous attire, yet somehow, he pulled it off with effortless charm.Raja caught Kathir's gaze and smirked, clearly enjoying the effect his new look had on the flustered young man. He sauntered closer, the scent of his cologne mingling with the heady aroma of Kathir's own arousal.So, what do you think? Raja asked, spinning around to show off the shirt from every angle. Like it?

Kathir swallowed hard, his mouth suddenly dry as he took in the sight of Raja's provocative display. The pink shirt accentuated the man's broad shoulders and chiseled chest, making Kathir's pulse race with a mix of excitement and trepidation.I... uh... it looks great on you, Kathir managed to stammer, his eyes darting between Raja's face and the tantalizing expanse of skin revealed by the shirt's open collar.Raja chuckled, the sound low and husky. Glad you approve, he purred, closing the distance between them until they were mere inches apart. You know, I've always had a thing for pretty boys in pink. And you, my dear Kathir, are looking particularly delicious today.

Kathir's breath hitched as Raja's warm breath ghosted over his ear, sending shivers down his spine. He could feel the heat radiating off the other man's body, mixing with his own feverish desire.I... I don't understand what's happening to me, Kathir admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. These changes, these feelings... they're so intense, so overwhelming.Raja's hand came up to cup Kathir's cheek, his thumb stroking gently over the metal stud in his lower lip. Maybe that's because you're finally embracing your true self, he suggested, his eyes gleaming with a knowing intensity. Let go of your inhibitions, Kathir. Allow yourself to explore these newfound cravings.

Kathir's resolve crumbled under Raja's tender touch and persuasive words. With a shaky nod, he surrendered to the intoxicating sensations coursing through his veins.I want to, he breathed, his voice thick with longing. I want to experience everything, to discover who I really am.Raja's smile was triumphant as he leaned in, his lips hovering tantalizingly close to Kathir's. Then let's start with a kiss, shall we?Without waiting for a response, Raja claimed Kathir's mouth in a searing, passionate embrace. His tongue delved past Kathir's parted lips, exploring the warm depths of his mouth with confident strokes. Kathir moaned softly, melting into the kiss as his body responded eagerly to the stimulation.

[wintaerbaer]

things we don't say: part 6 (TEASER) (kth)

banner credit: @itaeewon

summary: Three years after graduating college, everything seems to be falling into place for you: stable job, cozy apartment, and a long-term boyfriend with a ring box hidden in his desk drawer. But when a mutual friend makes a remark that your best friend of nearly two decades is clearly in love with you, you realize that life may not be as simple as it seems.

pairing: Taehyung x Reader (with some VERY brief Seokjin x Reader and Yoongi x Reader)

rating: 18+ (MINORS DNI)

genres: best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, slooooow burn, angst, fluff

word count: 1.2k

teaser warnings: a very sad boy, references to sexual situations, brief mentions of child abuse, vomiting, someone has a wet dream, guilt, shame, a haircut

a/n: sincerest apologies that this series has gone so long without an update. i was struggling with some aggressive writer's block these past few months, but i think we're back in business! <3

PREVIOUS // SERIES MASTERLIST

To say he falls into a state of depression may be an understatement.

He barely eats, barely sleeps, and while Taehyung has always considered you to be the center of his universe—his entire being oriented to you like a star—you’ve begun to haunt him in ways that you never have before. Reminders of you creeping into every minute of his days.

It’s passing your favorite ramen place on his way home from a photoshoot. Or finding a can of your favorite sparkling water buried in the back of his fridge. Or flipping past the cooking show you used to watch together or stumbling upon one of your sweatshirts in his closet or the fact that he still has that damn photo of you hanging up behind his desk.

You’re everywhere—your being so deeply ingrained into his life that he couldn’t erase you even if he wanted to.

And he certainly doesn’t want to erase you; he’s too selfish for that. Even now, even after he’s fucked up to catastrophic degrees by forcing his feelings on you, he still can’t bear to face you directly. Because he knows it would be the end of him for you to reject and abandon him too, even if he can’t blame you for it.

It keeps him up at night, thinking about what he could’ve done differently. How he somehow lost his handle on the control which he has always internally prided himself on (sans a drunken conversation with Namjoon last year where he spilled his guts as was met with a lack of surprise on his friend’s part). He’s always promised himself that he would never burden you, that his love for you was not your responsibility but something for him to manage on his own.

And yet, with you sitting so close on the hotel bed—looking absolutely beautiful in your simple PJs even after he spent the day with you all dressed up—his defenses had crumbled the second you pressed into his side and asked him the final question of your fateful game.

How could he not kiss you then? How could he not give you what you asked of him when he wouldn’t hesitate to lay down his very life if you required it?

But still, he spends hours each night staring at the white expanse of his ceiling wishing he had held back like he always did. Years spent training himself to resist the way his blood calls out for you reduced to naught the second he got his first taste of your lips. And now you likely hate him.

And as if it’s not enough for his brain to put him through this nightly torture, the guilt eating him alive, when he finally does manage to scrounge up a few hours of sleep, there’s the matter of the dreams.

He revisits the hotel room every night. Can taste you again, hear your moans, feel your mouth on him and your warm skin underneath his hands as his mind drags him back through every minute detail on a loop. It’s agony, having to both wrangle with the knowledge of how it felt to be with you as well as face his sins every time he closes his eyes. Realize just how badly he fucked up when he wakes to once again find the other half of his bed empty.

Because in spite of him spending years convincing himself that you were never meant to be, there’s still a small part of Taehyung’s subconscious that’s always carved out space for you in his life. It’s the part that stocks your favorite drinks in his fridge, keeps that photo of you pinned behind his computer, leaves a side of the bed open for you because he became so damn accustomed to sleeping next to you in high school.

He’d found that the bruises from his father didn’t hurt as much when you were sitting next to him making him laugh in your bedroom. That his brain would quiet enough from the terrors to allow him to sleep if you were there lying next to him. That he didn’t feel the dull pain, only the gentle touches of your fingers, as you carefully applied makeup onto the dark patches of skin before school.

It had been easy, then, to dedicate himself to providing you with the same support and care you had shown him in any way he could. To wish for your happiness above all else—his guardian angel through and through.

At least, that is, until he lost control in that hotel room.

One night, after a particularly vivid dream involving your body under his, he awakes to sheets that are soaked around his middle. He blanches at the evidence of his body’s desire for you even now, the horror at the audacity of his unconscious mind causing bile to churn and rise in his throat.

He bolts for the bathroom, barely making it there before he empties the contents of his stomach into the toilet. His body shakes as he retches above the porcelain, guilt rattling his bones until he can hardly keep himself upright.

When the waves of nausea stop, when he can finally pull himself up to lean his elbows against the sink, he stares hard at the mirror and man he sees there.

He looks haggard, dark splotches sitting under his eyes and hair hanging limp around his face and over his forehead. The pale skin of his cheeks and lips is surely due, in part, to the vomiting, but there’s no denying that he’s a shell of his former self. A ghost just going through the motions of a past life.

And it’s there, peering through the darkness at his own reflection, that Taehyung decides he hates himself.

He’s not sure if it’s the raw disgust or the unrelenting shame that has him reaching for the hair clippers, but as his sable tresses begin to fall in chunks over the bathroom counter and floor, Taehyung thinks he deserves this.

He deserves the torment of his dreams. That disturbing combination of his wildest fantasies and nightmares rolled into one.

He deserves to wake up alone. To be reminded of his transgressions at the break of each day.

And he deserves to lose you.

Hell, he never deserved to have you.

The silence that follows the buzz of the trimmer seems at odds with the roaring in his head. Still, he manages to scoop the mess of hair into the trash before dragging himself back to the tangle of his sheets.

He finds himself right back in that cursed hotel room.

When he shuffles into the living room the next morning, still fighting the lingering tastes of bile and your lips, Jungkook and Jimin are already awake at the kitchen bar drinking coffee. They freeze at the sight of him; the pastry that Jimin was halfway to putting in his mouth hits the ground with a thud as Jungkook lets out a low whistle and simply shakes his head.

“That bad, huh?”

a/n: may or may not go back and revise this again for the final draft. in the meantime, a reminder that my ask box is always open! <3

[whoppert]

Hands on the Ground! (König/Reader)

2,652 words

tagged: König protective stalker; non-con groping of MC by villain

AO3 Master Fic List

The new recruit has caught König’s eye. He's seen a lot, but this is new. He doesn't want to complicate her life, no, he will just watch her from the shadows.

It's just a crush. An obsessive crush. An addictive and feverish and all-consuming crush. Nothing more.

But when she has a problem, König takes it upon himself to find a solution.

König passes by the new recruits in the training area. It’s not often he particularly notices a recruit - sure, he’s incredibly observant. He’ll notice a change in breathing in an opponent in a fight, a slight change in the walking gait of a teammate when they’re hiding an injury, but rarely does someone actually make an impression on him.

He checks with the training leader and learns her surname. The leader says she has promise, and asks if König wants to meet her, but the king declines. No, he’ll just watch from afar.

That night he steals her personnel file. Just some light reading, a bedtime story. This is where he gets a full name, address and next-of-kin, her brother. A dishonorable discharge from a foreign militia is on her record, but there’s no explanation.

AO3

It wasn't a concern, KorTac had a high turnover in the lower ranks, so administration often ignored marks on people’s records when it came to new hires. From her records, König learns that she speaks four languages fluently, that she has pilot experience and the area she struggles in is sniper shooting.

König thought about her as he drifted off to sleep.

A few weeks pass.

He keeps to his internal promise to watch from afar, but that doesn’t stop him taking the long route to get around the base, just so he’ll have a chance to watch. She’s really something in combat and wins both of the hand-to-hand training sessions that König manages to watch casually as he strolls by. He can read the tension in the male recruits. She’s the only female who manages to win in a mixed-sex fight and it wounds their egos.

Good, König thinks to himself. He knows how men fight and the angrier they get, the easier they are to defeat if you can read the signs, which she seems to be able to, because she taunts them as she fights them, a verbal dressing down for their shitty behavior and arrogance, respectively.

Occasionally he’d see her in the mess hall when their schedules overlapped. She sits with two other female recruits, and smiles at them warmly, the group seemed to have an affinity to each other that usually signifies friendship. She isn’t shy about getting what she needs to fuel her body, she’s smart in that way.

The next training session König watched entirely from the shadows. She wrestles well, though she doesn’t have the strength or size of her opponent so she is quick to recover from his grapple. She’s very quick. This opponent, a man with a dark cropped haircut is much better than her previous sparring partners. The rest of the recruits don’t talk through this fight like they did during the turns of the other pairs. No, this fight seems to be significant for all of them as a group. Her legs are strong, and she kicks her opponent just over his center of balance, sending him stumbling backwards.

In the second she took to right herself, her gaze flicked over and settled where König was watching, leaning against the edge of a nearby building, arms crossed over his chest. Bright eyes bore into his, the only visible part of his face. Today was another day he was glad to have his mask, the surprised expression rendered invisible to the outside world. It is only one second at most, but her opponent spots it.

The battle is quickly concluded, and her streak is lost.

König is gone before she’s even hauled herself up from the dirt.

Some nights later, König checked the schedule and found that she had booked a time at the sniping range to practice and that only one other soldier had booked an overlapping session. König made sure he was called for guard duty.

This is how he would make up for costing her the match.

The sky is grey and dull. He watches as she fires several shots, observing her form and then steps up to the neighboring practice spot. They do not acknowledge each other. She is too busy practicing to notice. She is by no means bad at it, just struggles with moving targets, which is costing her attempts. König is proud of his marksmanship, and knows that if he had that rifle he would have put down each of the targets in half as many bullets.

After another round she looks up at König from her seat, pulling her ear muffs off. He is sitting too, but even so she has to look up at him - everyone has to look up at him.

“You jerk as the gun fires,” he says. “You need to square your shoulders in order to support the weight of the rifle.”

She blinks, and considers his critique. Pressing the start button for the next round of moving targets, she hits every single one, only missing one shot. She rubs her shoulder.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

There is a pause.

“You’re the Colonel. König.”

“Yes. And you are?”

She gives him her name, though he already knows it.

“Good luck with your training, Lieutenant.”

König is called for a mission that will send him away for two weeks. Normally he welcomes the change of pace, but he mourns watching her each day. She is always in the back of his mind, and often in the front of it. He just can't stop himself from thinking about her.

When he returns, everything is the same on the surface, but she's different. Tense. König wonders what changed.

When he catches her sparring, there is a brutal ferocity to her movements, until she faces the only recruit who has ever bested her. König watches as she seizes up. The dark haired recruit easily takes her down, and his friends jeer. Perhaps it is a mental block?

A few days later, König collides with her - literally. He's making his way to visit a colleague when she comes out of a door, looking behind her, and smashing squarely into his chest. Strong hands grip her upper arms, so she narrowly avoids toppling over backwards. She's flushed, flustered.

"Forgive me," she stutters, glancing over her shoulder.

His hands don't leave her sides. For a second he short circuits. She feels so small compared to his large form.

"Hey," an unfamiliar voice calls from a familiar face as the dark haired recruit flies through the door after her. He stops suddenly, saluting. "Sir."

She seems to notice the breach of conduct and steps back quickly. König lets his hands fall to his sides.

"Is something wrong?" König asks, looking only at her.

“No. Sir,” she adds his title as an afterthought.

“Then you are dismissed.”

He didn’t believe her.

König had seen the growing tension between herself and this recruit. Naturally, he takes a look at the recruit’s personnel file as well. Adrian Meyer. No complaints. No formal military training, it seemed he’d been accepted to some relatively unknown private militia on a fluke. 24 years of age. Had left his previous employment voluntarily, but seemed to have made it into KorTac on the assurance that he was a quick study. It seemed true enough, his training showed exemplary marks - except in hand-to-hand. Always second place until recently. So he dislikes that she’s bested him, it creates tension, nothing particularly unusual, soldiers had troubles like this all the time. Still something doesn’t sit right with König. She had fought him a handful of times, and he’d studied her enough. She was always calm, collected, put together. Even first thing in the morning she’d report without a hint of exhaustion on her face. She could put on a show, hide her feelings as expertly as if she wore a mask, so what could have shaken her so badly the other day? Perhaps Meyer had said something to her, but what could he have said that left her so afraid?

There are hundreds of security cameras on a military base, with his clearance it was no issue at all to pull the footage. He isolated the record to about the rough time he’d run into her, and rewound from there. The video filled him with rage.

A few days pass and he watches the new recruits. She is shaken, making stupid mistakes and isolating herself from her friends. She eats lunch alone, practices alone and is easily defeated by opponents she had never so much as blinked at before. Meyer’s confidence grows each day, just continuing on as if nothing had happened.

König visits the trainees. She notices his approach, everyone else too deep in conversation, but as soon as she sees him, she turns her face away, refusing eye contact. He wants to tell her that he is going to fix this, but he doesn’t. König has said exactly forty words to her before, and he is not ready to add to the total.

“Meyer,” the training lead called out, König at his side. “The colonel is impressed with your training, he’d like a word.”

Meyer’s face split into a wide grin. “Knew it couldn’t be long before I started to get noticed.”

The pair step off to the side.

“Come visit me tonight in my office. 2100 hours. I want to discuss your future with KorTac.”

The smile falters momentarily. “Sir, I would love to, but I have guard duty-”

König interrupts, “I have arranged it. If you play your cards right, you’ll never have to pull guard duty again.”

Meyer is on time. He knocks on König’s office door at exactly 2100 hours. König invites him in, and at the sight of him Meyer stiffens.

“Relax,” König passes Meyer a drink. “This will be informal. I just want to get to know you a little better.”

König’s cheerful voice and the alcohol lulls Meyer into a false sense of security. The king is adept at this kind of hunt, he laughs on cue and flatters his prey with compliments, plying him with liquor, though Meyer doesn’t seem to notice that König has been nursing the same drink all night.

It’s growing late and still they talk. König knows the right time to strike is approaching because Meyer has started to talk absolute bullshit, too comfortable with the colonel.

“It’s just funny that you’re Austrian,” Meyer hiccups, swallowing the last of his glass.

“Why is that?” König makes sure the smile reaches his voice, since Meyer won’t see it.

“It’s just- to have an Austrian in charge of this place. Like shouldn’t you be running a farm or something?” Meyer laughs, and König pretends to laugh with him.

“You are a typical little Bavarian, aren’t you, Meyer?”

“I’m hardly little, I’m 190.5 centimeters!”

“You are little to me.” König replies.

The time is here.

König clears his voice. “Can I show you a video I found the other day? It’s hilarious.”

Meyer nods, pouring himself another glass.

König pulls up the security footage, pre-prepared and paused right before the crucial moment.

When Meyer notices, his eyebrows knit together. “Is this the security tape?”

König ignores him and hits ‘play’.

The shot is of one of the rooms used to take language lessons. It is completely empty until she enters. Moments later, Meyer follows her. He says something that causes her to freeze up, but unfortunately the feed is visual only. Meyer takes a step towards her and she takes a matching step back, her lips forming unheard words, her face pleading.

“What is this?” Meyer asks. He seems suddenly sober. “Why are you showing this to me?”

She faints right, breaks left, but it’s a move she frequents while sparring and he’s prepared for it, shoving her hard into the wall behind her. She struggles to regain her balance and throws a sloppy punch, which Meyer outmaneuvers, slapping her hard in the face and using the moment she is stunned to turn her around, pressing the front of her body against the wall as he presses himself against her back. One hand holds her by the back of her throat, her cheek against the plaster, the other runs down her body, groping the sides of her breasts and squeezing her ass before he kicks her legs apart and begins to touch between her legs. He is whispering something in her ear.

“It’s not what it looks-” Meyer stands abruptly.

“Sit down,” it is an order. All of the comradery König had exhibited early vanishes.

Meyer obeys.

Meyer is clumsy, too caught up in the moment. He releases her neck to step forward, sandwiching her body between his and the wall for maximum contact. He grinds his crotch against her, his lips close enough to kiss her neck, but she uses the second he is distracted and stamps down hard on the top of his foot. Immediately, Meyer staggers away, and she bolts. The camera shot switches into the hall as she bursts from the room, running straight into the Colonel.

The clip ends.

“Look,” Meyer pleads, “I know how that looks, but she came onto me, alright? You can’t hear her, but she wanted it. She’s been a tease for months, it’s not my fault is she panicked the second things got real, it-”

König does not care for excuses. “Left or right?”

The quest jars the recruit. “W-what?”

“I asked: ‘left or right?’”

“Right?” Meyer seems confused.

“Very well. Put your right hand on the ground.”

Meyer didn’t move. “Why?” There was panic in his voice now. He repeats the question when at first he doesn’t receive an answer.

“Because I am going to crush it beneath my boot.” There was a hint of sadistic pleasure apparent in the tone.

“Wh- no. No.” Meyer stuttered, cradling his hand to his chest. “You can’t do that.” Again he stands, but he does not back away, König stands between him and the exit.

“You touched her with both hands,” König said coldly. “It is by my mercy alone that your other hand has been spared. I have let you pick which hand you would like to keep, but you will be punished for touching her, Schwein. Do not disobey me. Put your right hand on the ground.”

“I didn’t know she was yours, I wouldn’t have ever-”

König steps towards him and this time it is Meyer shrinking back.

“Please,” he begs. “Please.”

But it is of no use. Meyer can see that. Face flushed and body shaking, he slowly kneels on the carpet, begging once more to no avail as he places his hand palm-first against the floor.

The next day, König walks past her like she was nothing to him. Like she didn’t consume every thought. He’d done what needed to be done and he had no regrets, but that didn’t mean he suddenly had a free pass to talk to her, she was his subordinate, that kind of fraternization would get him in trouble, and even if he got away with it, who’s to say she'd even want him? He could live in her shadow knowing that under his supervision she would befall no harm. He likes knowing that he took care of her little problem.

König watches her eating at the mess hall. Her friends rush to her, telling her something that he could not hear, though he could make out the excited tone they used.

“An accident?” She repeats.

“Yes, broke his hand. Doc showed me the x-ray, it was fucked. Crushed and twisted so badly he’ll be lucky if they can fit rods against the remaining bones. He’s resigned for long term medical care, but the doc said he’ll never shoot again.”

“What happened?”

“Apparently he fell in front of a Jeep and it ran his hand over.”

“That’s unlucky,” she says. For a brief moment she glances in König’s direction.

For an even briefer moment he holds her gaze, before excusing himself.

AO3

[yzegem]

Sketch of common people from the Twisted Islands. Left to right: llama herder, guild apprentice, fisherman, guild militia man.

The archipellago is mostly made up of rocky atolls, coral reefs and small islands mostly inhabited by shrubs, migratory birds, seals and rodents. (Also llamas introduced by humans).

These poor ecosystems are not suited for large human population yet many people are attracted to the islands because of it's high portal activity (you can read about the magic system here, but I will later do another post about the "mages" of the islands). People from the islands come from many regions of the eastern seaway but mainly belong to the Iliryi seafaring etnithity, and most people speak their language and practice their religion centered around the sea and the portals.

For a long time the islands were not united but each ruled by a "monastic guild" wich investigated portals and lead rituals, divination and offers using them. Certain branches of the guilds opperated as beaurocrats, port tax collecters and managers, defence of the islands and barbers.

The importance of haircuts in the islands stems from their obsession with physical and spiritual cleanliness. People in the islands live in comunal spaces and often travelled between them, so they were very prone to epidemics. Most islands enforce quarantines, daily ritual bathing and frequent body inspections and shaving done by guild officials. This prevents lice from spreading but quickly became a sort of weekly census. Non guild people such as fishermen, divers, some sailors or shepperds shave their hair completely while guild members leave certain locks of hair wich they braid according to their guild branch and status within it.

After the unification of the islands, guilds were standardized into a single secretive entity. Their biggest secret is their use of portals for trade (wich requires years of training and deep knowledge of geometry) and their firearms. While people in the western continent are starting to use iron or bamboo handcannons and bronze mortars, the island's militia have precise matchlocks and powerful breech loading swivel cannons.

Most islands have rocky shores and only one suitable well defended port, so deploying large armies on the islands is basically imposible. These fortified atolls can hold a siege for years while reciving food and suplies from other islands vía portals and even keep making profits by trading.

For an object to be transported between to portals, the portal needs to be opened/primed on the two sides, so many small trading outpost have been set in foreign lands, sometimes willingly by local population and other times by force, wich creates tension with the twisted island's diasphora in other nations.

[animementrash]

AOT veterans headcanons

Characters: Levi Ackerman, Erwin Smith, Hange Zoe

Tags: just random thoughts on the main three vets, they/them pronouns for Hange, some may be ooc?, SFW only

A/N: Here are my headcanons based on how I percieve them, I have some more for the rest of the characters but I'm posting only three for now because they are longer than expected. (I also have NSFW ones but I'm waiting until I get more comfortable with sharing my thoughts before posting those) Hope you like them and thank you for reading!

Levi Ackerman:

Washes his hands constantly, almost too many times a day.

Would rather fight a titan with an arm tied to his back than do the dishes. The mere thought of soggy leftovers sticking to his hands makes him gag.

Avoids going out to public places because he’s aware of his popularity inside the walls and doesn’t know how to act when he’s the center of attention.

Following the previous topic and contrary to popular beliefs, this man would never reject a gift/letter/trinket given to him by a local. It can be the most random thing but he will always accept them with a small nod, he’s deeply thankful for their blind trust in him.

Yawns and stretches ALL THE TIME, he is known for sleeping as little as 3 or 4 hours per night and while he’s able to go on with his day without problems, this doesn’t mean he isn’t feeling drowsy all the time so he’s almost always letting out quiet yawns and stretching his arms to ease the soreness of his body.

Sneezes a lot when cleaning. It’s not rare at all to hear him sneeze when he’s dusting or sweeping, if someone says “Bless you” to him he’ll quietly mumble a “thanks” before getting back to cleaning.

Has a favorite seat at the dining table and gets grumpy when someone takes that place before him.

Speaking of dinner, this man eats SLOW AS HELL, he’s usually one of the last to finish his meal.

Is constantly thirsty because he refuses to drink anything but tea.

Has memorized everyone’s footsteps and knows who’s coming to his office before they even knock the door.

Cleans and calibrates his ODM gear daily even when he’s not planning on using it.

Doesn’t like to be in new recruit’s trainings because he gets anxious when most of them hurt themselves while getting used to work with the ODM gear.

Trims his hair weekly, most people believe he shapes his haircut and has hairdresser-like skills when in reality all he does is trim it to avoid losing the shape it already has.

Can’t read cursive even if his life depends on it. One time Erwin handed him a memo written in cursive and he got so frustrated because he didn’t understand what it said that he ended up ignoring the memo. Turns out Erwin needed him to turn in some reports earlier than usual and got scolded because of it.

Loves eating fruit. Fruit was considered an ultra luxury item in the underground so when he realized how much fruit he could eat once he was in the scouts, he got obsessed with it.

Whines and complains a lot for a person who’s known to be grumpy and stoic. Ask him to do something he dislikes and you’ll hear a bunch of huffs and puffs before he goes to do it.

Talks with his horse. A lot.

Wanders through the empty halls when he can’t sleep and doesn’t bother to bring a candle to light the path, the cadets now believe there is a ghost haunting the headquarters.

Erwin Smith:

Hums and whistles a lot, he’s always making some kind of noise while signing reports or walking down the halls. You can hear this man before seeing him.

Takes more time than he’s willing to admit in styling his hair every morning. He is a firm believer that appearance matters a lot so he puts a lot of effort on his.

 Has a specific pair of glasses he uses when reading, almost no one knows about it besides Hange who helped him choose the right ones.

Talks in his sleep, it can vary between mumbled nonsense to full on speeches.

Has a journal that is more like a diary because he writes all his thoughts/hopes/fears on it but he’d be damned if someone refers to it as a diary and not a journal.

Is lowkey afraid of insects but plays it cool when he comes across one because he doesn’t want to come out as “weak”.

Snaps his fingers when trying to remember something.

People think he’s a very wise and smart man because it’s very common to find him “deep in thoughts”, truth is he just tends to zone out and disassociates like crazy.

Loves dogs, he’s the biggest dog person in the scouts. Often stops and pets dogs he finds while taking a walk downtown.

Cleans and polishes his shoes every night before going to sleep. Whenever his face gets reflected on the shiny shoe a smile appears on his lips.

Not always but sometimes sneaks out behind the barracks to smoke some cigarettes, tries to hide all evidence afterwards because Levi will start complaining about the awful smell.

Would rather be late to an early meeting than go without shaving, has to shave daily because by the end of the day he already has a shadow beard.

Is well aware of his attractiveness and uses it to his advantage when needed.

Visits his father’s grave every Sunday and spends most of the day there. Sometimes brings a book and reads it out loud.

Smacked his face after trying to see through a clear glass Levi had cleaned earlier, after laughing for several minutes Levi scolded him for dirtying his glass.

His wardrobe is full of neutral-colored clothes, he sucks at matching outfits so goes with the safest options.

Knows very well Levi can’t read cursive so when he’s bored, he scribbles gibberish on a paper and gives it to Levi saying it’s important to get it done by end of day just to get a laugh.

Has relatives living inside the walls who refuse to acknowledge him, some of them even pretend he died the same day his dad did.

Has an ongoing bet with Hange to see who makes Levi laugh the most, so far Erwin is winning by one but only because he accidentally fell from his horse and Levi found it hilarious.

Arm-wrestles with Miche a lot, especially after they had a few beers.

LOVES dancing, this man knows how to dance and isn’t afraid to show it. (Sadly for him he also loves to clap when dancing and this makes everyone laugh)

Hange Zoe:

Is both street-smart and book-smart, is the only person who has beaten Erwin in a chess match and also beaten Levi in a wrestling match.

Almost always has pencils sticking out of their hair, they place them there for a moment and totally forget about them.

Levi restricted them from using fountain pens because they would spill ink and stain everything and everywhere.

The reason why their glasses have straps on is not only because the risk of them falling off is smaller but also because according to them “it makes them look cooler”.

Wanted to join Erwin in giving instructions to Levi written in cursive but since their handwriting wasn’t as good as Erwin’s they opted for giving instructions in riddles, this makes Levi even more furious than the cursive ones.

Just like Levi, Hange takes a long time when eating dinner but the reason for this is not because they eat slow but because they talk a lot. By the end of the meal their food is either cold or soggy.

Tried to bite a titan once just to show them how it felt to be “on the receiving side”.

Their horse has tiny braids on its mane made by them when they were nervous.

Refuses to brush their hair because their ideas may “fall off” if they do it.

Tackled Levi once when they saw an “eerie figure” roaming the headquarters halls and thought it was a new species.

Has read more books than anyone in the scouts, knows a little of almost everything.

Says “wait, what?” at least twice when talking with someone, before that person can repeat themselves, they interrupt with a completely related answer and expect the person to continue speaking as if nothing happened.

Almost all cadets go to them for advice, they take this very seriously and never joke around when listening to their concerns.

Just like Erwin, they have relatives living nearby the headquarters but they’re not interested in one another.

Has a tendency to bite their nails when nervous, all his fingernails are short and bumpy because of it.

Is very quick at math and calculations.

Always carry a pocket notebook with them and writes anything that catches their attention so they can investigate about it later.

LOVES bugs, is always trying to catch them and examinate them. One time they trapped a cockroach and created a full design of an “armored suit” based on them, when Erwin asked where they got the inspiration for it, they just placed the cockroach in Erwin’s desk and Erwin almost fainted on the spot.

Randomly goes to Miche and asks him “what do I smell like?”, Miche stopped participating on their little riddles when Hange decided to put rotting food in their pockets before asking.

All their books have little notes and highlighted parts on them. Sometimes has two or three copies of the same book because their view on certain parts changes over time.

Takes pinky-promises as a legit way of commitment.

[uvegotafastcar]

everyone is so focused on lando’s sneaky haircut that we are MISSING THE BOAT ON OSCAR’S SNEAKY GOATEE!!! a second questionable goatee has HIT THE MCLAREN TRAINING CENTER WEEOO WEEOO 🚨🚨🚑🚑

[howlingday]

Ruby: Huh?

Cardin: Listen, toots, I'm happy you got me something for my birthday, but this belt buckle is absolute donk! I want a belt buckle that sits ABOVE my pubic mound, not ON my pubic mound. This is such a thoughtless gift, practically a blight, a curse on my junk. A-And it doesn't fit! I expect a full reimbursement, but I WILL be keeping the belt buckle! Let me be VERY clear about that!

Ruby: (Drops bag) Here's your GIFT RECEIPT! (Kicks, Leg caught)

Cardin: Wow! You just gave me a great excuse to let out my rage for LIFE! (Kicks her) Oh, man, Miss Raven would be so proud! So long as she didn't see me kick a girl in her uterus.

Raven: WHAT DO I ALWAYS SAY ABOUT BOOTIN' THE UTE?!

Cardin: MISS RAVEN?! NO! YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO SEE THAT!

Raven: YOU ARE UNWORTHY OF MY TEACHINGS, AND YOU ARE UNWORTHY OF THIS BELT!

Cardin: MISS RAVEN, NOOO~! (Pummeled) Oogh! Is- Is that a uterus? Did a uterus come out of my butt? I have one of those?!

--------------------------------------------------

Ruby: (Sobbing) That's the fifth uterus come out of a dude's butt this week~!

Yang: He had five uterussies in his butt?

Penny: That is too too many...

Ruby: I feed them! I enrich their enclosures with gifts and they STILL die on me! How is a Daddy supposed to find his indestructible kitten now, nyah~?

Yang: Have you tried lying on your back in a submissive position?

Penny: Impossible. The gravitational pull of her gazoon keeps Ruby upright and center to our beautiful black and white planet-

Yang: Could you simplify that for me? I read at a fifth-grade level.

Penny: Queen-like behavior. Must request funding for more research.

--------------------------------------------------

Ruby: Is it too much to ask for a mousey, stuttering, five-foot train wreck of a boy who can take a PAWUNCH?!

Whitley: (Being bullied)

Ruby: (Sits next to him) Hey~. Those child 5 shoes you're wearing~?

Whitley: ...

Ruby: ...Forget it. I prefer it when they struggle.

Ruby: UGH! Brothers, why must you taunt your thickest thighs with the most weak-willed men~?

Whitley: I AM STRUGGLING! I'm a bookish, wimpy dude who reads tabloids FOR FUN! I had ROSACEA at three years old! My future does NOT shine bright! Does that dude have five uteruses out there?

Ruby: Oh... That's why you were getting picked on...

Whitley: OGH! YOU RESPONDED TO ME! THAT MEANS I GET TO ACCOST YOU WITH MY SPECIAL INTERESTS~! Grimm! Alternate Universes! Koikatsu and Blender erotica! This tabloid doesn't make any sense, but I LOVE it~! I even sent pictures of myself topless and they printed it~! Wanna see~?!

Ruby: My scroll battery died eight hours ago and it's STILL more entertaining than what you're saying.

Whitley: Would you believe this magazine even taught me how to cut my own hair? It's not a bad bowl cut, I swear~! IT'S INTENTIONAL!

Ruby: GRIMM don't exist! YOUR HAIRCUT shouldn't exist! AND THIS CONVERSATION is now NON EXISTANT!

Whitley: (Drops magazine)

Ruby: And that's that, boy... (Walks away)

Whitley: ...say sike right now...

Ruby: ...Sike right now. (Walks back) ...Bitch.

Ruby: Was it as good for you as it was for me~?

Whitley: (Sniffles) Thank you, Mistress~! May I please have some more~?!

Ruby: (Hands over tabloid) Hey... Is there anything about wizards in your big, dumb magazine?

Whitley: KHEK! EHEH! N-No, no, this magazine is for intelligent people.

Ruby: I WAS TRYING TO MATCH YOUR FREAK, WHAT THE FUUUCK?! I dare you- I DARE YOU to spend the night somewhere with magic, NOT a Faunus burial mound, and the deal is if you end up seeing a wizard, you have to be my squishy, little boi-wife!

Whitley: AND if you see a Grimm, which, congratulations, you're now a member of society whose IQ isn't the same number as room temperature, AND you have to be MY squishy, little boi-wife!

[moonsunlovers]

I’m sorry about what I’m going to say because some of you probably won’t like it but I always say that I want to stay true to the facts and I need to get it off my chest: I believe it’s Jk in that video. And I believe it because:

- The structure of the windows and the house space is the same as his actual house

- The intercoms in the wall are in the right places

- The mood lamp is there with the lights changing the colors in the video as we saw in Jk’s lives

- The sofa is the same that were in bts dorm

- Bam is there, it looks exactly like him and based on the dates that this video was taken at that time (around february-march) Bam were at home with Jk, not in the training center

- Jk’s haircut in the video matches the one that he had at that time

So yeah, I believe the video shows Jk with a girl (somebody else posted another one with Bam in his house in which you can see the tattoos too). I’m not going to be like taekookers when Taennie was exposed and decided to invent the craziest theories. Some people said that this video was already proof to be a Chinese couple, when they were talking about jungkook all the time but with his Chinese name, that’s why some people misunderstood. So once again, I truly believe it’s him, there’s no point in deny it.

BUT. That means all we believe in is false? NO. I truly believe Jimin and a Jungkook have one of the most special relationships in the world. We don’t know what’s there behind the cameras. It’s clear that this video was taken with the intention of using it to cause chaos and problems to Jungkook. The fact that it was published yesterday, violating his privacy with the goal of sabotaging his new single makes my stomach twitch. It’s simply an atrocity. We haven’t seen the whole video, we don’t know if there were somebody else, if they’re just best friends, family members… It shows Jungkook hugging a girl from the back, so what? They are not kissing, not doing anything super intimate. And besides, even if she was somebody special to him at that time, it doesn’t change the fact that Jimin and Jungkook have been together for sure at some point in all these years. We don’t know the ups and downs of their relationship but we have countless moments that prove it. Rose bowl, hickey gate, Tokyo trip. These ones alone tell everything we need to know. They are the closest duo in bts and their chemistry is unmatched. It’s impossible that they haven’t crossed the line at some point. But still we don’t know what’s going on for sure. It could have been a quick break up, it could have been just nothing and the girl is just a friend. We probably won’t ever know. Let’s see what the following months brings to us.

The only thing that matters to me is that my two babies had an amazing time together in NY recently and that they are still there for each other, unconditionally. Their bond is unbreakable and nothing will make me thing that they are not soulmates destined to be together. As long as they are happy, I’ll be too.

[385bookreviews]

2.27 The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

SPOILERS

Pages: 171

Time Read: 2 hours and 27 minutes

Overall Rating: 5★ Storyline: 5★ Dialogue: 5★ Characters: 5★

Genre: Philosophical Fiction

TWs for the book: Racial slur (G word used against Romani people), racism (against Romani and Arab people, brief), war, violence, islamophobia, sexism, alcohol, animal death, death, injury

POV: Third person

Time Period/Location: Spain and Africa, sometime during the 1700s.

First Line: The alchemist picked up a book that someone in the caravan had brought.

Summary: My summary doesn't at all do this book justice. There is a lot of wonderful, meaningful dialogue and I highly encourage you to read this book, as I believe a lot of people could find meaning in it.

Quotes: "I couldn't have found God in the seminary, he thought, as he looked at the sunrise." (p.13) "People say strange things, the boy thought. Sometimes it's better to be with the sheep, who don't say anything. And better still to be alone with one's books." (p.22) "...whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, it's because that desire originated in the soul of the universe. It's your mission on earth." (p.24) "If you can concentrate always on the present, you'll be a happy man. You'll see that there is life in the desert, that there are stars in the heavens, and that tribesmen fight because they are part of the human race. Life will be a party for you, a grand festival, because life is the moment we're living right now." (p.87) "When a person really desires something, all the universe conspires to help that person to realize his dream." (p.118) "It's not what enters men's mouths that's evil... It's what comes out of their mouths that is." (p.119) "You must understand that love never keeps a man from pursuing his Personal Legend. If he abandons that pursuit, it's because it wasn't true love... The love that speaks the Language of the World." (p.124) "One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving." (p.126) "Listen to your heart. It knows all things, because it came from the Soul of the World, and it will one day return there." (p.132) "The boy reached through to the Soul of the World, and saw that it was a part of the Soul of God. And he saw that the Soul of God was his own soul. And that he, a boy, could perform miracles." (p.157)

The story begins with a prologue about the alchemist reading an alternate version of the story of Narcissus.

Complete Recap: Santiago is a shepherd, wandering the plains and fields of Spain with his sheep. He went to seminary as a child, being trained to be a priest, but he told his father he wanted to travel and his father gave him three gold coins to buy his sheep. Ever since, he spends the night wherever he can find shelter, and uses whatever book he has with him as a pillow. That night, he sleeps in an old, broken down church with a tree growing up through the center of the building. He has another of his recurring dreams, that a child comes to play with his sheep and then transports him to the pyramids of Egypt to find treasure. Santiago goes into a village the next day to get a thicker book and a haircut. While there, he consults a Romani woman (referred to throughout with the G word and Santiago is afraid of her due to negative stereotypes). She tells him that he needs to go to Egypt and find the treasure, and when he does, come back and give her one tenth of what he finds. Santiago is disappointed that there isn't a deeper meaning, and goes outside to read his new book, making plans to take his sheep to the town where he met a merchant girl the year before who had taken an interest in him. While he sat and tried to read, an old man sat with him and began saying strange things, claiming to be Melchizedek, the king of somewhere called Salem. Santiago was annoyed, but the old man told him the names of Santiago's parents, the girl he had a crush on, and other private details about him that no one but he should know. He decided to sit and listen and to tell the old man about his dream. The old man explains that everyone has a Personal Legend, and it is Santiago's Personal Legend to go to the pyramids of Egypt and find the treasure. He tells Santiago to bring him one tenth of his flock of sheep, and he will tell him about how to find the treasure at the pyramids of Egypt. Santiago considers this thoroughly, but ultimately decides to sell the rest of his sheep to his friend and take the old man six sheep the next day. In exchange, the old man, rather redundantly, tells Santiago to go to the pyramids of Egypt, and to watch for the omens. He gives him a black stone and a white stone, called Urim and Thummim, and tells him to use them to help him make decisions, but not to rely on them.

Santiago sails to Africa. He doesn't speak Arabic, and is confused and scared by the strange customs there. He tries to order wine but it is forbidden, so he gets some tea. Someone comes up to him who speaks Spanish, and offers to show him where to go to cross the Sahara desert. His new friend takes his money to count it, and begins to lead him through the market. Santiago stops to admire a sword, and when he turns, his new friend is gone, along with all of his money. He despairs immediately, but uses Urim and Thummim to see if the old king's blessing is still with him. He pulls the white stone meaning yes, but when he tries to ask if he will ever find his treasure, both stones fall to the ground out of a hole in his pouch. He sleeps in the empty market square, and is awoken in the morning by someone going to set up their tent. He wanders around, and then helps a candy seller to set up his tent. He gets a piece of candy as a thanks, and, as he wanders around afterwards, he realizes that him and the man didn't speak the same language, but had communicated anyways. He wanders up the hill and comes upon a crystal merchant, and offers to clean all of his crystal in the window for him if he gives him a meal. The man didn't answer him so Santiago cleaned the crystal anyways, and the man took him out to eat, saying he would have done so regardless because the Qur'an tells him to feed the hungry. He offers Santiago a job, but tells him that he won't make enough money to cross the Sahara in a day. He offers to give him enough money so he can go home, but Santiago decides to work for the man anyways.

After 11 months, Santiago had helped the crystal merchant to make the shop very successful. He had enough money to sail home and buy more sheep, and the crystal merchant had enough money to visit Mecca as he always dreamed of. He tells the crystal merchant it is time for him to go back to Spain, but the crystal merchant tells him he knows he isn't going to Spain, just as he knows the crystal merchant is never going to go to Mecca. Santiago decides just to see if he can join a caravan to go across the Sahara. When he arrives he finds an Englishman who sees Urim and Thummim and recognizes them immediately. He explains that he is an aspiring alchemist, and is going to an oasis in Al-Fayoum to try and find a master alchemist that has achieved turning metal into gold. They leave with the caravan and begin crossing the desert. The Englishman reads his books along the way, and Santiago watches the desert. They eventually challenge each other to do the opposite of each other, but neither of them learns very much. On their way, Bedouins appear to warn them about tribal warfare in the desert. The journey becomes tense, but after some time, they manage to arrive at the oasis, where they now must stay until the war is over. The Englishman immediately tasks Santiago with helping him find the Alchemist. Santiago firsts to talks to a woman, who says she doesn't know anyone by the Englishman's description, and warns Santiago that she is married, and not to talk to anymore women wearing black because it means they are married and it is improper. A second man claimed they were looking for a witch doctor and spoke the Qur'an at them before moving on. A third man said that there is someone very powerful living at the oasis, but advises that he won't see anyone unless it is under his own circumstances, and that they should leave the oasis once the war is over. Finally, an unmarried young woman named Fatima comes to the well, and Santiago falls in love instantly. She finally tells them that the Alchemist lives to the south, and the Englishman takes off to find him immediately. When Fatima comes back to the well the next day, Santiago tells her he loves her and he wants her to be his wife. This shocks her and she leaves, but they begin to speak and become closer every day when she comes to the well. Eventually, she reciprocates his feelings, but says that he must continue his journey to the pyramids to find his treasure. She explains that she is a desert woman, and desert women are accustomed to their men leaving for long periods.

Santiago is sad cause he wants to stay with her, and goes into the desert to clear his mind. He sees two hawks fighting, and has a vision of tribesmen attacking the oasis, even though it is forbidden. He goes to see the camel driver from the caravan, and he advises him to take his vision to the tribal chieftains. When he is finally permitted to see them, he tells of his vision and advises that everyone in the oasis carry weapons, which is also forbidden. After some bickering, the leader finally tells him that he will be payed a gold piece for every man they kill, but any weapons that go unused and therefore become damaged by being out in the sand all day will be used on him. When Santiago leaves the tent, a horse rides up and the man on it, with a falcon on his shoulder and a sword in his hand, angrily demands who read the omens to foretell this event. Santiago says it was him who reads the omens, and explains how he did so. The man on the horse explains that he had to test Santiago's courage, and tells him if he lives to tomorrow, then to come and find him. Santiago then realizes as the man rides south that that was the Alchemist. The next day, everyone carries weapons, and tribesman attack but are immediately thwarted. Santiago is awarded his gold and becomes the counselor of the oasis. He goes to see the Alchemist, and they eat and drink together. The Alchemist tells him to sell his camel and buy a horse. The next day he does so, and then goes to see the Alchemist again. They ride out into the desert together, and the Alchemist instructs Santiago to find life in the desert. He does so by allowing his horse to lead him to a place where there are holes in the rocks. The Alchemist pulls out a poisonous snake from one of the holes, but entraps it in a circle in the sand. He then tells Santiago that he will take him to the pyramids. Santiago refuses, wanting to stay with Fatima, but the Alchemist tells him that he will lose his gift for speaking the Language of the World if he does so, and he will eventually lose his position as counselor and Fatima will always wonder if he hates her. They return to the oasis, and Santiago says goodbye to Fatima.

They travel for a long time, and are eventually captured by one of the warring tribes. The Alchemist gives the chieftain all of Santiago's gold, and says that Santiago is an alchemist who can turn himself into the wind and blow away their camp. The chieftain says that he has three days to do so or they will be killed. Santiago is distraught as he most certainly doesn't know how to turn himself into the wind, but he spends the three days contemplating how. The day of, the chieftain and his commanders gather around to see him turn himself into the wind. Santiago converses with the desert, then the wind, then the sun, and then finally God himself, and manages to turn himself into a wind and cause a windstorm. They are released, and make it to a monastery three hours from the pyramid. They go in, and the alchemist turns lead into gold. He gives a quarter of it to the monk, keeps a quarter, gives a quarter to Santiago, and gives the last quarter to the monk to give to Santiago in case he loses the first quarter. Then Santiago sets off alone to go to the pyramids. He comes to the exact spot he saw in his dream and begins to dig. Some men come along and beat him, thinking he is hiding something. They take his gold piece, and then one of them tells him that years ago he had a dream of buried treasure in the abandoned church in Spain Santiago first had his dream at. Santiago goes back to the monastery to get his other piece of gold and sails home to Spain.

He goes back to the church and digs up a chest of Spanish treasure from an old war. He remembers that he must give one tenth of it to the Romani woman, and smiles as he plans to go back to Fatima.

[thatstormygeek]

All of these arguments rest on the assumption that white men with power should not have to suffer the inconvenience of being criticized by their inferiors.

Neither Peters nor Moulton is what you’d call a staunch leftist. Yet they, too, are under the impression that white men with tremendous social and institutional power are under threat from mouthy eighteen-year-olds with Bluesky profiles and statement haircuts. Whether they come from the left or the center, all these arguments against “identity politics” are objecting to the same thing: Criticism, feedback, the ability for marginalized people to ask for certain polite concessions, such as being called by our own names rather than someone else’s.

It is hard to fight for your right to exist when even your “allies” are pushing for you to be silent and invisible. The most silent person, the least visible person, is a dead person — the excision from public life that Democrats are willing to confine to language is one that Republicans are willing to make a tangible and physical reality.  We are afraid of losing our jobs. We are afraid of losing our rights. We are afraid of losing our lives. And the people with the op-ed columns and public platforms and Congressional seats are worried that we might say actually, my name is Steve now. They are afraid that one day, they will go to the drugstore, and the tampon boxes won’t be pink any more, and that will be all our fault.  ... I am asking you, the cis reader of this piece, to take up that mantle of being an inconvenience. I am asking you not to let the public conversation flatten out into a train of unquestioned white and cis and male and non-immigrant and straight voices, having debates with each other about how to stay in charge of the world. I am asking you to interrupt and make a scene and say no, that’s not right, actually, to make sure the conversation belongs to all of us for as long as we can keep it.

[marcmarcmomarc]

Miraculous

Chapter 8: Marinette’s New Friends

(Now, the sun shines pink on the morning sky. Our view sinks, showing Panera Bread in Waterford Lakes Town Center. A cab pulls up to its entrance and Marinette exits.)

MARINETTE: Thanks!

CAB DRIVER: No prob, Marinette!

(Marinette walks inside. Her first person view takes in the busy restaurant. Characters from the The Incredibles, The Loud House, Home, Coco, Angry Birds, Trolls, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Gravity Falls, How to Train Your Dragon, Monsters, Inc., Despicable Me, and Hotel Transylvania franchises eye her as she enters and murmur to each other.)

SULLEY: Guys, look.

SMIDGE: Oh, my gah.

LINCOLN: Is that…?

(Lynn Loud Jr. gasps.)

LUNA: Dudes, it’s her.

(As they continue murmuring, Marinette walks to the cashier, a brown woman with a bowl haircut.)

CROSSOVER CHARACTERS: (WALLA) In the flesh?…I don’t believe it…Crazy…We never get celebrities around here…Is this really happening?

CASHIER: Ah, Miss Marinette Dupain-Cheng, how’s your day?

MARINETTE: Oh, it’s fi-Wait. Since l got here, people have been looking only at me andreferring to me by name. What’s going on?

CASHIER: Well, it’s because everyone knows who you are. You star on a French kids’ show, Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir.

MARINETTE: For real? Wow. So I’m guessing you know who Cat Noir is.

CASHIER: Yep. But his secret identity wouldn’t interest you. And I’m guessing Tikki is hanging out in your purse.

MARINETTE: Yep.

TIKKI: You guessed right.

(The others look on as Tikki leaves her bag.)

CASHIER: So, do the traitors bring you to the United States?

MARINETTE: Of course! Has anyone in here had a dream?

LUNA-TK: I once had a dream. I’m Luna-TK. Hey, Luna! Hit me with some music!

LUNA: You got it, dudette!

(Luna Loud strums her guitar. Marinette looks at her, then back at Luna-TK, who sings.)

LUNA-TK: (SINGING) I’ve been told I’m behind on reactions, they wait my overreactions I try to tell them that I’m taking my time But despite my overwork, and every time I quirk I’ve secretly wanted to be a mime Can’t you see me on the street performing to the public? It is a way to blow off steam Yeah, I know I’d have to retire, but my acts are bound to expire

LUNA-TK: Don’t you think?

LUNA-TK: (SINGING) ‘Cause way down deep inside, I’ve got a dream

ALL: She’s got a dream, she’s got a dream

LUNA-TK: Each and every day, I like to daydream As the rest, I’m not the same, but no one else can take the blame But like everyone else, I’ve got a dream

MARINETTE: Wow. That’s pretty good.

LUNA-TK: Yeah. But if you think that’s something, then listen to my friend, JD Shadow. Sing it!

JD SHADOW: I’ve been told I’m such a dummy That I’m as thick as a gummy And that my mouth looks like an alligator’s But now the insults are gone, and people seem to fawn But I think it’s clear that there are still haters My dream is to decrease the criticism No, not as much as it may seem And I am reasonable fellow, I’m soft, and I’m mellow ‘Cause way down deep inside, I’ve got a dream

(A rope strapped to the collar of her top, Lucy Loud swings in circles over the customers.)

JD SHADOW: I’ve got a dream

ALL: He’s got a dream

JD SHADOW: I’ve got a dream

ALL: He’s got a dream

JD SHADOW: Everyone’s mood will very surely gleam Yes, I might not be very lucky, And the outcome could be yucky And every girl will be a queen But like everyone else, I’ve got a dream

(Bridget grooves with Poppy on her left palm.)

POPPY: The Bergens would like to party with us Trolls

(Chuck runs circles around a table.)

RED: Chuck would like to run a marathon

(Dash does the same with another table.)

BOB: Dash is always on

(Earl flexes.)

FLINT: Officer Earl is full of brawn

(Luan puppets her dummy, Mr. Coconuts. Luna continues strumming. Cloud Guy ripples his arms as he floats by.)

ALL: Luan jokes, Luna rocks Could Guy wears all the socks

LUNA-TK: And Terence is a bruiser with a soft center

(The hulking bird grins.)

LUNA-TK: So, how about you, Marinette?

MARINETTE: What?

RBNVIDS: What’s your dream?

MARINETTE: Alright. Beat, please?

(As Luna continues playing, Marinette gets onto a table and sings.)

MARINETTE: (SINGING) I’ve got a dream

ALL: She’s got a dream

MARINETTE: I’ve got a dream

ALL: She’s got a dream

MARINETTE: I just want to have some friends outside my dreams

TIKKI: We don’t care if they’re so hairy, we’re just so glad we left Paris

MARINETTE AND TIKKI: Like all you lovely folks, we’ve got a dream

(Lucy drops from the ceiling by a noose beside Marinette.)

ALL: They’ve got a dream, we’ve got a dream They’ve got a dream, we’ve got a dream

(Watching the welcoming crew dance, Marinette smies)

ALL: So our differences ain’t really that extreme We’re one big team

(Marinette gets picked up by Screech and carried across the restaurant.)

SULLEY: Call us brutal!

HICCUP: Sick!

GRU: Sadistic!

LYSS AND SIEBEE: And grotesquely optimistic!

(He drops her at the Loud girls, who toss her upward happily.)

ALL: ‘Cause way down deep inside We’ve got a dream

(We glimpse several of the Crossover Characters dancing.)

DON: I’ve got a dream

LUAN: I’ve got a dream

VIOLET: I’ve got a dream

EDITH: I’ve got a dream

DENNIS: I’ve got a dream

MARINETTE: I’ve got a dream

ALL: Yes, way down deep inside I’ve got a dream

(During the last line, Lyss and Siebee lift Marinette onto an arm throne. As Marinette spreads her arms wide, Tikki floats beside her head. Our view, like a drone, flies in circles around them, taking in all of Marinette’s new friends.)

ALL: Yeah!

(As Lyss and Siebee set Marinette down, the girl takes in her supporters.)

LUNA-TK: You’re welcome to join us.

MARINETTE: Thanks.

(She joins Luna-TK at her table.)

LUNA-TK: So, again, I’m Luna-TK. I’m engaged to a lovely man and I’m also the leader of this group.

LYSS: I’m Lyss.

SIEBEE: And I’m Siebee.

@shadydoorags-blog: Hey, hello, how do you do? I’m Shady Doorags. I’m a big superhero fan. And your show doesn’t exactly get superhero tropes right.

MARINETTE: Oh.

@luminara713: I’m Momo.

BETH: I’m Beth.

MIRANDA: I’m Miranda.

SHARKI: I’m Sharki.

SHADOW: I’m Shadow Tag.

RHILENTLESS: I’m Rhilentless.

GABI: I’m Gabi.

KATHY: I’m Kathy.

JAKE: I’m Jake.

JACK: I’m Jack.

EMI: I’m Emi.

MOMO: We make up The 86th Floor: Cosplay Revolutions.

MIRANDA: So your world isn’t set in the Sims universe? Alright, then.

@calxiyn: Good day, I’m Calxiyn.

ROBYN: What’s up? I’m Robyn.

HARMONY: I’m Hungary Harmony.

SOFIA: I’m Sofia LaVoice.

CAMRYN: I’m Camryn.

YACKACHOO: I’m Yackachoo.

JD: I’m JD Shadow.

BOB: I’m Bob Parr. Like you, I have a superhero identity. Mr. Incredible’s the name, strength is the game.

HELEN: I’m Helen Parr. My moniker is Elastigirl. Stretchiness is what I do.

VIOLET: I’m Violet Parr. I have two powers. I can turn invisible and make force fields.

DASH: I’m Dashiell Parr. Call me Dash. Super speed is my power.

BOB: My youngest son, Jack-Jack Parr, has seventeen powers.

LUCIUS: I’m Lucius Best, also known as Frozone. My specialty? Ice.

E: I’m Edna Mode. You can call me E, darling. I have designed suits for Supers across many years. Do not ask me to design a cape for you, darling.

WINSTON: I’m Winston Deavor. Call me Win. As owner of DEVTech, I have helped bring Supers back into the light and legality.

TONY: I’m Tony Rydinger, Vi’s boyfriend.

KARI: I’m Kari McKeen, her bestie, and a skilled babysitter.

VOYD: I’m Voyd. What I can do is make portals.

(Voyd drops a juice box from her table and drops it in Marinette’s hands with portals.)

MARINETTE: Ooh. Thanks.

MIRAGE: I’m Mirage. Used to work for a selfish evil-doer called Syndrome, I now work with the government and am dating Win.

DICKER: I’m Rick Dicker. Former agent of the Super Relocation Program, which has shut down.

KRUSHAUER: I’m Krushauer. Crusher of metal objects.

HE-LECTRIX: I’m He-lectrix. Zapping electrically is my power.

REFLUX: I’m Reflux. My magma barf, medical condition? Superpower? You decide.

BRICK: I’m Brick. As strong as Mr. Incredible.

SCREECH: I’m Screech. I contain the characteristics of an owl.

LINCOLN: I’m Lincoln Loud. Man with the plan and middle child between ten sisters.

CLYDE: I’m Clyde McBride. Lincoln’s best friend.

LINCOLN: And together, we’re…

LINCOLN AND CLYDE: …Clincoln McCloud.

LORI: I’m Lori Loud. Firstborn of the Loud kids, high school graduate, and freshman at Fairway University.

LENI: I’m Leni Loud. O-M-gosh, I am so into fashion.

LUNA: I’m Luna Loud. I’m a rockstar, dude.

LUAN: I’m Luan Loud, the family comedian. Say, Mr. Coconuts, how many cockroaches does it take to screw in a lightbulb? (AS MR. COCONUTS) “Who knows, toots? When the light comes on, they scatter.” (LAUGHS) Get it?

LYNN: I’m Lynn Loud Jr., name a sport, I play it. From football, to lacrosse, to ice hockey, to baseball, to basketball, to roller derby.

LUCY: I’m Lucy Loud.

(Marinette jumps.)

MARINETTE: Ah! Jeez.

LUCY: I know. That happens all the time. I like poetry and anything spooky, and I’m the president of the Royal Woods Elementary School Morticians Club.

LANA: I’m Lana Loud.

LOLA: And I’m Lola Loud.

LANA AND LOLA: (IN UNISON) We’re twins. Can you tell?

LANA: I’m a grease monkey, and love getting dirty.

LOLA: I’m a pageant princess. Over ten sashes in my inventory.

LISA: I’m Lisa Loud. I spend my days conducting empirical procedures arbitrating competing models or hypotheses, street name, scientific experiments, in my room.

LILY: Lily Loud. Lily just started preschool.

LYNN SR.: I’m Lynn Loud Sr., father to these wild kiddos, and I own a restaurant. Stop by Lynn’s Table sometime.

RITA: I’m his wife, Rita Loud. I’m a writer.

HOWARD: I’m Howard McBride. He’s my husband, Harold.

HAROLD: We’re Clyde’s dads.

MR. GROUSE: I’m Bud Grouse, the Louds’ next-door neighbor. If you want to appease me, I take lasagna.

RONNIE ANNE: I’m Ronnie Anne Santiago. I used to pick on Lincoln when I lived in Royal Woods. My family moved to Great Lakes City.

SID: And she met me, Sid Chang.

BOBBY: I’m Bobby Santiago. Just like my abuelo, I hope to run a mercado.

ROSA: I’m Rosa Casagrande, the matriarch of the house, and family cook.

HECTOR: I’m Hector Casagrande, owner of the family bodega.

ROSA: And a gossiper.

HECTOR: I do not gossip, cariña.

MARIA: I’m Maria Casagrande-Santiago. I work a tiring job as a nurse.

ARTURO: I’m Arturo Santiago, a veterinarian.

CARLOS: I’m Carlos Casagrande, the brains of the family, and a college professor.

(A camera flash startles Marinette.)

MARINETTE: Ow.

FRIDA: I’m his wife, Frida Puga Casagrande.

MARINETTE: The family photographer?

FRIDA: Sí. (TEARING UP) You guessed right.

CARLOTA: I’m Carlota Casagrande. Also a fashionista.

CJ: I’m Carlos Jr. Casagrande. You can call me CJ. Any traitors that cross you will walk the plank!

CARL: I’m Carlino Casagrande. I get the ladies to come for me.

CARLOTA: In his self-proclaimed stud dreams.

FRIDA: This is Carlitos Casagrande. (COOING) Who’s a little copycat? Who’s a cute little copycat? Is it you? Yes, you are.

TIP: I’m Gratuity Tucci. You can call me Tip. I was the only escapee when an alien species called the Boov invaded.

OH: But then she did the meeting of me, Captain Oh, and everything did the changing.

MARINETTE: Oh?

OH: That comes from the way other Boovs did the responding to my presence.

LUCY: I’m Lucy Tucci, Tip’s mom.

KYLE: I am Officer Kyle.

MIGUEL: I’m Miguel Rivera. Back when my family thought music was a curse, I was sent to the Land of the Dead on Día de los Muertos, and figured out the truth as to why they had that thought. Held hard by my abuelita Elena.

ABUELITA ELENA: With my chancla to keep things in check.

MIGUEL: And my family of shoemakers. Mi papá…

ENRIQUE: Enrique.

MIGUEL: …mi mamá…

LUISA: Luisa.

MIGUEL: …Tío Berto…

BERTO: Buenos dias.

MIGUEL: …Tía Carmen…

CARMEN: Hola.

MIGUEL: …Tía Gloria…

GLORIA: Hey.

MIGUEL: …mi abuelito Franco.

FRANCO: Hola.

MIGUEL: …mis primos, Abel,…

ABEL: Hola, señorita.

MIGUEL: …Rosa,…

ROSA: Nice to meet you.

MIGUEL: …Benny, and Manny, and my little sister, Socorro, named after my great-grandmother, Mamá Coco.

RED: Hello. My name’s Red. I was an outcast as an adult for my anger issues, which stemmed from being bullied as a kid for my eyebrows. It took Bird Island’s eggs being stolen for me to step up as their leader. But now, we’ve called a truce between birds, pigs, and eagles, and we’re all heroes of all three islands.

CHUCK: I’m Chuck. I can move faster than the speed of sound.

BOMB: I’m Bomb. When I get upset, I’ve been known to blow up. Literally, hence the name. (IMITATES HISSING AND EXPLOSION)

LEONARD: I’m Leonard Mudbeard, the king of Piggy Island.

SILVER: I’m Chuck’s sister, Silver. While he moves fast, I think fast. I can think of every calculation at a moment’s notice.

GARRY: I’m Garry, the pigs’ master of gadgetry. Not all of my inventions are perfect…

RED: Like the Invisi-Spray? Or the Eagle Detector? “There’s an eagle nearby! There’s an eagle nearby!”

GARRY: I know they were flops, Red!

COURTNEY: I’m Courtney, Leonard’s right-hoof assistant.

MIGHTY EAGLE: Behold! Gaze upon… Mighty Eagle! I see all and know all.

MATILDA: I’m Matilda. I was the teacher of the Infinity Acceptance Group. And this is my husband, Terence.

(Terence grins down at Marinette.)

MARINETTE: Wow. You’re a lucky lady to have hit the jackpot with this guy.

THE BLUES: We’re the Blues.

JAY: I’m Jay.

JAKE: I’m Jake.

JIM: And I’m Jim.

ZETA: I’m Zeta, the leader of the eagles. I admit, I went crazy after Ethan left me at the altar, and tried to destroy the neighboring islands to make my own tropical paradise, since Eagle Island is basically a giant iceberg.

DEBBIE: I’m their daughter, Debbie.

GLENN: I’m Zeta’s head engineer, Glenn.

ROSS: I’m Ross. I used to be Leonard’s assistant.

(The mime bird performs around Marinette.)

RED: Yeah, he likes all of this.

STELLA: I’m Stella. I’m Bird Island’s main tour guide.

BUBBLES: I’m Bubbles. Need a lift?

(Bubbles inflates a bit.)

HAL: I’m Hal. I’m really good at doing the boomerang.

ZOE: I’m Matilda’s daughter, Zoe. These are my best friends.

VIVI: I’m Vivi.

SAM-SAM: And I’m Sam-Sam.

(Poppy leaps into Marinette’s hand.)

POPPY: Hi. I’m Poppy, the queen of Pop Village.

BRANCH: I’m Branch. I’m not like the other Pop Trolls. When I was a kid, I got my grandmother killed by singing and attracting a predator, and spent twenty years not wanting anything to do with fun.

BIGGIE: I’m Biggie. I’m a big softie, aren’t I, Mr. Dinkles?

MR. DINKLES: Mew.

COOPER: I’m Prince Cooper of Vibe City.

GUY DIAMOND: I’m Guy Diamond.

(Marinette shields her eyes.)

MARINETTE: Oh, you are naked!

GUY DIAMOND: Yeah, Glitter Trolls aren’t (AUTO-TUNED) fond of clothes.

TINY DIAMOND: Yo, what’s up? I’m his son, Tiny Diamond.

SMIDGE: I’m Smidge. I’m the smallest troll in Pop Village, but I’m also the toughest, and the strongest!

SATIN: I’m Satin.

CHENILLE: And I’m Chenille.

SATIN: We…

CHENILLE: Love…

SATIN AND CHENILLE: …fashion!

DJ: I’m DJ Suki. You can count on me to get a good party going.

BRIDGET: I’m Bridget. Queen of Bergen Town alongside my husband…

GRISTLE: King Gristle Jr.

VIVA: I’m Poppy’s sister, Viva.

PEPPY: I’m Poppy’s father, the retired king of Pop Village, Peppy.

JOHN DORY: We’re Branch’s brothers, Brozone. I’m John Dory.

CLAY: I’m Clay.

FLOYD: I’m Floyd.

SPRUCE: And I’m Spruce.

BARB: Hey. I’m Queen Barb of the Hard Rock Trolls.

PRINCE D: I’m Cooper’s brother, Prince Darnell.

KING QUINCY: I’m King Quincy.

QUEEN ESSENCE: And I’m Queen Essence.

HICKORY: Guten Tag. I am Hickory, a Yodeler Troll.

DICKORY: Und I am Dickory.

CREEK: I’m Creek. I always hate admitting this, but I regret selling out my friends to the Bergens.

RIFF: I’m Barb’s band drummer, Riff.

DELTA: I’m Delta Dawn, leader of the Country Trolls.

KING TROLLEX: I’m King Trollex of the Techno Trolls.

TROLLZART: I am Trollzart, conductor of the Classical Music Trolls.

ARCHER: I’m Archer Pastry. I left behind my gangster brother and his crew, the Party Crashers.

CLOUD GUY: Hey. How’s it going? I’m Cloud Guy. Up high?

(As Marinette goes to slap his hand with her finger, he pulls it back.)

CLOUD GUY: Whoop! Too slow!

VAL: I’m Val Thundershock, the Ambassador of the Rock Tribe.

DEMO: I’m Demo, the manager of Val’s band.

HOLLY: I’m Holly Darlin’, the Ambassador of the Country Tribe.

DANTE: I’m Dante Crescendo, the Ambassador of the Classical Tribe.

LOWNOTE JONES: I’m Lownote Jones, the Ambassador of the Funk Tribe.

SYNTH: I’m Synth, the Ambassador of the Techno Tribe.

LEGSLY: I’m Legsly. I can’t extend my hair, but I can extend my legs.

THRASH: (MUMBLING) So our differences ain’t really that extreme

BARB: Oh, that’s my dad, the retired king of the Rock Trolls, Thrash.

PENNYWHISTLE: I’m Trollzart’s favorite flute, Pennywhistle.

POPPY: And he’s Fuzzbert.

(Fuzzbert bows.)

FLINT: I’m Flint Lockwood. I’ve been an inventor since I was a kid. One of my first were my Spray-on Shoes. Unfortunately, they don’t come off.

SAM: I’m Sam Sparks. Chew and Swallow’s newscaster.

TIM: I’m Tim Lockwood. Flint’s father and owner of Tim’s Bait and Tackle.

EARL: I’m Earl Devereaux. Chew and Swallow’s local policeman. No one better think of startin’ trouble.

BRENT: I’m Brent McHale. I used to be Swallow Falls’ mascot for sardines called Baby Brent. Chicken Brent is my new moniker. Ba-gawk-oh!

MANNY: I am Manny. Part-time doctor, part-time comedian, part-time cameraman.

FLINT: This is my best friend and trusted colleague.

STEVE: Steve!

MARINETTE: A Thought Translator?

STEVE: Steve!

BARB: I’m Barb. I’m an orangutan with a human brain within my ape brain. Like a turducken.

DIPPER: I’m Dipper Pines. I spent the summer of 2012 discovering the mysteries of Gravity Falls, Oregon.

MABEL: And thanks to the heroics of me and my family, we saved the town! I’m his twin sister, Mabel Pines.

STAN: Hello. I’m Stanley Pines. Ex-conman and retired owner of the Mystery Shack. These days, I’m traveling the world with my brother.

FORD: Stanford Pines. I spent 30 years trapped in a portal between dimensions. I also wrote three journals that I threw down a bottomless pit.

SOOS: I’m Soos Ramirez, the Mystery Shack’s handy mechanic, and new Mr. Mystery.

WENDY: I’m Wendy Courderoy. I was the Mystery Shack’s clerk, but still undeniably a fun time.

McGUCKET: I’m Fiddleford McGucket. Old, I may be, but Ford and I go way back.

GRENDA: We’re Mabel’s best friends. I’m Grenda Grendinator.

CANDY: And I’m Candy Chiu.

ROBBIE: I’m Robbie Valentino. Lead guitarist of Robbie V and the Tombstones.

PACIFICA: I’m Pacifica Northwest. My family used to be rich, until my father gave it all away to that Bill guy.

GIDEON: I’m Gideon Gleeful. I had a steady reputation despite my not-so pleasant actions.

MELODY: I’m Soos’ girlfriend, Melody, the Mystery Shack’s new clerk.

HICCUP: I’m Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III. The first viking in 300 years to not kill a dragon, and the chief of New Berk after the unfortunate death of my father, Stoick the Vast.

ASTRID: I’m his wife, Astrid Haddock, the chieftess of New Berk. These are our kids.

ZEPHYR: I’m Zephyr.

NUFFINK: And I���m Nuffink.

FISHLEGS: I’m Fishlegs Ingerman. Name any dragon, I have their statistics.

SNOTLOUT: I’m Snotlout Jorgensen. I admit, I might be a bit much.

TUFFNUT: I’m Tuffnut Thorston.

RUFFNUT: And I’m Ruffnut Thorston.

TUFFNUT: My sister and I love getting into trouble.

VALKA: I’m Hiccup’s mother, Valka. I lived on my own for years.

GOBBER: I’m Gobber the Belch. I was Stoick’s right-hand man.

ERET: I’m Eret. I was part of Drago Bludvist’s dragon-capturing crew before I defected.

SULLEY: I’m James P. Sullivan. My friends call me Sulley. I’m the CEO of Monsters, Incorporated. It’s a company that used to be all about sneaking into human children’s rooms through their closet doors and scaring them into screaming to power our world.

MIKE: But recently, we’ve realized that human laughter is ten times more powerful than their screams. I’m Mike Wazowski, the best Jokester at the company.

SULLEY: This is Boo, a human girl we met during the power crisis.

CELIA: I’m Celia Mae, the company receptionist.

MIKE: I’m her Googly-Bear.

CELIA: Yes, he is.

(Celia dips Mike and smooches him. Her snakes keep kissing him.)

YETI: I’m the Adorable Snowman. Why do people call me the Abominable Snowman? Do I look abominable to you?

(He offers a tray of snow cones.)

YETI: Snow cone?

(Marinette eyes the yellow tops.)

MARINETTE: Uh…

YETI: Oh, no, don’t worry. It’s lemon.

MIKE: And these were our Oozma Kappa fraternity brothers back in Monsters University.

SQUISHY: I’m Scott Squibbles. My friends call me Squishy.

DON: I’m Don Carlton. Mature student. I spent 30 years in the textile industry, and then got downsized. I figured I could either throw myself a pity party, or go back to school and learn the computers.

TERRY: We’re Terry and Terri Perry. I’m Terry with a Y.

TERRI: And I’m Terri with an I. I’m a dance major.

TERRY: And I’m not.

ART: I’m Art. New age philosophy major.

TYLOR: I’m Tylor Tuskman. I graduated from Monsters University to work for Monsters, Inc. as a Scarer, only to end up working in the Monsters, Inc. Facilities Team, or “MIFT”, when I joined the company the day they transitioned from scream to laugh power.

VAL: I’m Val Little. I was Tylor’s one-time classmate from MU.

FRITZ: I’m Fritz, the leader of MIFT.

CUTTER: I’m Katherine Sterns. You can call me Cutter. I keep remnants of each MIFT member who died on the job.

DUNCAN: I’m Duncan, the assistant supervisor of MIFT.

GRU: I’m Felonious Gru. I used to a bad guy, and now I work as a secret agent for the Anti-Villain League.

DRU: I’m his twin brother, Dru Gru.

LUCY: I’m Agent Gru’s partner and wife, Lucy Wilde.

MARGO: We’re Gru’s adopted girls. I’m Margo.

EDITH: I’m Edith.

AGNES: I’m Agnes.

GRU: And our son, Gru Jr.

POPPY: I’m Poppy Prescott, student at Lycée Pas Bon to become a supervillain.

DR. NEFARIO: I’m Gru’s friend and scientist, Dr. Nefario.

KEVIN: Bello. (SPEAKING MINIONESE) …Kevin, (SPEAKING MINIONESE) …Stuart,…

STUART: Bello!

KEVIN: …(SPEAKING MINIONESE) …Bob.

BOB: Minions!

GRU: And there’s hundreds more where they came from.

DRACULA: I am…

MARINETTE: Count Dracula? The blood-sucking vampire?

DRACULA: So you’ve heard. I’m the retired owner of Hotel Transylvania. It used to be off-limits to humans and a place for monsters to get away from it all. And, no, I don’t drink human blood. It’s so fatty, and you never know where it’s been. I use a blood substitute. Either Near Blood or Blood Beaters. You can’t tell the difference.

JOHNNY: I’m Drac’s son-in-law, Jonathan Loughran, the new co-owner of the hotel.

MAVIS: Alongside me, Drac’s daughter, Mavis.

MARINETTE: And you’re Frankenstein’s monster? Fire bad?

FRANK: Yep. Not to mention, I’m quite the big eater.

MARINETTE: And you must be his bride.

EUNICE: Name’s Eunice.

WAYNE: I’m Wayne Werewolf, she’s my wife, Wanda.

WANDA: Our kids drive us nuts.

GRIFFIN: Hey, I’m Griffin.

MARINETTE: Ah!

GRIFFIN: Oh, sorry. I really need to start that throat clearing thing.

MARINETTE: The Invisible Man?

GRIFFIN: Uh-huh.

MURRAY: I’m Murray, and I bring the party anywhere!

DENNIS: I’m Papa Drac’s grandson, Dennis. I got my vampire fangs straight on my fifth birthday.

VLAD: I’m Drac’s father, Vlad.

ERICKA: And I’m Drac’s wife, Ericka.

VAN HELSING: I’m a retired monster hunter, and Ericka’s great-grandfather, Abraham Van Helsing.

MARINETTE: One of The Van Helsings?

VAN HELSING: Yes. I didn’t want to let the legacy die, and my searches lasted beyond my lifespan, so I replaced my failing organs with technology. I say, I am still quite a looker.

ERICKA: Um, sure.

CRYSTAL: I’m Griffin’s girlfriend, Crystal the Invisible Woman.

WINNIE: I’m Winnie Werewolf, the only obedient offspring to the Werewolves. Right, my Zing?

DENNIS: Yeesh.

DRACULA: And these are the Blobbies. He’s Blobby, that’s Blobby’s son, and this is their puppy.

MARINETTE: Well, I’m glad to call all of you my new friends.

LUNA-TK: We’re honored.

———————————————————————————-

Trivia

The restaurant where Marinette was going to meet the gang was originally T.G.I. Friday’s in the same shopping plaza, but I realized the amount of characters Marinette was going to meet weren’t going to fit in one area of the restaurant, so when thinking of a smaller restaurant, Panera Bread came to mind first, and I went with that. Miller’s Ale House also came to mind, but I ran into the same problem as Friday’s. California Pizza Kitchen also could have possibly worked, it’s just that that restaurant is one big room that’s also curved, so Panera it is.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

2023!Phan Masterlist

A Piece of Me (ao3) - Sinninghowlter

Summary: Dan is obsessed with Polaroids. Phil loves kissing Dan.

a six to a nine (ao3) - danhoweiis

Summary: phil has some doubts about his new haircut but dan helps to reassure him in his own way

a snapshot (ao3) - yonpote

Summary: phil takes a photo

birthday cake (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Dan is back home from tour just in time for Phil’s birthday.

And it just wouldn’t be a birthday without a slightly questionable cake.

fallow & blossom (ao3) - indistinct_echo

Summary: He’s half-drunk and laughing in the hotel room with these people that he loves and knows that this, this is living.

Finding my way back to you (ao3) - alltears_noricochet

Summary: Dan has a strange feeling something's going to happen. At first, it's nothing, until it's not. Will Dan and Phil make it home to each other safely after being separated?

fools before april (ao3) - okaydoomer

Summary: April fools day 2023 was in a few weeks and Dan and Phil still weren't sure what they wanted to do.

You know what they ended up doing, so here's a short fic about how it might have happened.

home (ao3) - SylvesterLester

Summary: Dan comes home to find things have changed.

In another life you still would’ve turned my head (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Dan comes across old black and white photos of two queer men messing around, one playing with the other's hair, just like he did in a recent video with Phil. He gets caught up in the emotions that he would have fallen in love with Phil in any universe. He crawls into Phil's lap and tells him exactly that.

“Is that really what you think?” (ao3) - yikesola

Summary: Phil is laying in the center of the bed, which is how Dan knows his head is bothering him today.

A ficlet about heads and humans.

japhan 3.0 (ao3) - danhoweiis

Summary: snapshots of the japhan trip 2023

keep quiet (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: This feels indulgent in a way he hasn’t felt in a while. He’s tired after a night of being social, tallying up points and arguing with Phil and their friends about which countries had the best Eurovision songs, booing and complaining when their favorite didn’t win. And he’s sweaty from sleeping in close quarters. But he can’t bring himself to stop the building arousal between them.

pink + white (ao3) - maestronomy

Summary: dan and phil in japan, sharing bites of a dango whilst thinking about their enticing future together ahead - and forever.

safe like spring time (ao3) - danhoweiis

Summary: phil reflects on his teenage self

Say The Word, Back To You (ao3) - cafephan

Summary: During their third Japan trip, Dan and Phil reflect on a notebook of things to complete together, written in 2009.

so tell me i’m a rainbow (it makes me feel alright) (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Dan wanted to go to London Pride this year, but doubt and anxiety creeps up on him and he can’t make himself go. It’s okay.

third times the charm (ao3) - jestbee

Summary: Phil doesn't get sick in Japan, Dan worries anyway.

too soft for all of it (ao3) - theloveofbees

Summary: phil loves dan, and he loves dan's hair.

loosely based on phil's tweet on 26 march 2023.

We balance each other out on the seesaw of life (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Phil had dragged Dan to Isle of Man after his return home from tour. The sea air would do him good (even if it gave him hobbit hair) and he could be surrounded by Phil's family (who were his family too). He hadn’t actively planned to drag him onto a seesaw on a playground but it turned out to be a precious moment all the same.

would it be okay if i came home to you: part 2 (ao3) - danhoweiis

Summary: dan comes home after the final tour date

you can see it with the lights out (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: Somehow it’s taken Dan until he got to Japan, but here it’s caught up with him, hit him like a freight train. Phil keeps laughing at him, showing him pictures on his phone of Dan’s face softened by it, posture loosened by it.

[justmultifandom]

Kidge summer event 2023

Day 27: Haircut for hot days

Keith walked into the communal showers sweating all over, his hair soaking wet as he stripped off his shirt and balled it into a bin which would then be taken to the cleaners. As soon as the automatic door opened, he was invaded by an annoying hot vapor that could only worsen his condition. The interior of the room was foggy, the different mirrors foggy and the heat surrounding the atmosphere, yet he could recognize a small figure in a large orange and white bathrobe violently tossing her hair with the oversized hood.

“Hey Pidge”: he greeted him, fanning himself with his hand as he tried to shake off the dampness.

“Hi Keith”: she replied, smiling: “I'll be out right away. The cold water doesn't work, there must be something wrong with the meter, now I wanted to go to my father to report it"

“Great, no cold water”: he grumbled, squeezing his soaking wet hair and trying to wipe the sweat from his neck.

"Yeah, the Garrison is the most important space military center on Earth and the water meter is out of order": she nodded, puffing, and then looked at him with a raised eyebrow: "Have you ever thought about cutting your hair? Maybe they will bother you less when you train”

“I like my hair, but you're right, I should cut it, after three years in space I've forgotten the heat of the desert. I'm not used anymore”: he reflected: “If I cut my hair maybe Lance will stop calling me Mullet…!”

"I can cut your hair, if you want": she offered, gesturing a scissor with her fingers: "You know, I made this beautiful cut by myself"

“With this you will be the last person I ask to cut my hair”: he smiled, taking a cloth.

“Hey! I cut Shiro's hair I remember you!": she insisted, taking some scissors from a piece of furniture and waving them: "Come on, on your knees"

“Shouldn't I sit in a chair?” He raised an eyebrow.

“You are too tall even for a chair”

“Minion Holt”

"Shut up Kogane or I'll leave you the mullet"

"Okay... okay...": he raised his arms to the sky, kneeling in front of her: "But hurry up, I'm hot and sweaty"

"Don't rush the art, Kogane!" Pidge exclaimed, teasing his hair lightly and starting to cut. Keith could see strands of hair falling to the floor and onto his bare chest, occasionally moving from the discomfort of the communal shower floor, and when he did she would tug at his hair to make him stop.

"No! I like my bangs!”: He took her wrist as she had her strands lifted to her forehead.

“Emo boy, if you call this bangs then Kosmo is a chiwawa!”: She exclaimed, freeing herself from her grip and continuing to cut. Keith snorted, but let go. It was only Pidge, after all; if the cut didn't suit him, she would surely have invented a machine to grow hair.

“Finished!”: She cheered, and he let out a sigh of relief when he stood up and looked at himself in the mirror. It was a simple enough cut, actually, even though it looked like a slightly longer undercut, but still, her hair didn't reach down to her neck.

"Not bad": He touched his hair, while she acquired a proud look: "Thanks Pidge"

“Anytime, Kogane”: she gave her a thumbs up, finally walking out of the room.

After taking a shower (which was actually hot as she said), he changed into his orange Garrison uniform and walked out into the halls. He was walking quietly when he heard an excited scream.

“Keith!”: Her mother rushed over to him when he crossed an intersection, shaking him and touching his hair with a surprised expression: “What did you do with your hair?!”

"I cut them": he shrugged, slightly embarrassed by Krolia's too loud and sharp tone.

"Really!? Did you do it or did someone else do it?!”: she started asking many questions, almost jumping on the spot.

"Pidge cut them off for me, what's the problem?": he replied, taking a lock of hair: "I like them..."

“Pidge!? The green paladin, right!? Ohhh, I've always known that! Although I never expected it from you so soon…”: Krolia exclaimed, while he looked at her slightly confused.

“Have you always known what? That I'd cut my hair?” Keith raised a slightly confused eyebrow, shaking his head slowly.

“It's not about the haircut, Keith!”: she touched her forehead with her hand: “Wait, don't you know?! Kolivan never told you when you were in Blade?!”

“Said what?”: he shook his head: “Okay, mom, now you're worrying me…”

“For the Galra, cutting one's hair is a symbol of marriage; if it's a person who does it instead of yourself then you are married”: she explained: “Ah! It's great, I'm going to tell Colleen!"

"Mom, no wait! I didn't-“: he exclaimed, while Krolia disappeared around the corner running:” -know it…”

Keith stood still in the middle of the corridor, thinking and looking for a way out of the awkward and embarrassing situation he had put himself in, but above all he had to explain everything to Pidge…

[nikonladyz4]

‘Enlisting together’ BTS Jimin and Jungkook, why did they choose the cold and difficult front line? [TEN People]

Entered 2023.12.12. 8:01 PM

 Original text of article

Reporter Kim Ji-won

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Jimin and Jungkook of the group BTS enlisted together as active-duty soldiers in the army today (12th). The two entered the frontline Army 5th Infantry Division recruit training center (Key Recruit Training Center).

Jimin and Jungkook will undergo basic military training for 5 weeks starting today. Afterwards, he will be assigned to his unit as an active duty soldier in the army. The two also revealed their short haircuts through BTS' social account.The Army 5th Infantry Division Recruit Training Center is located in Yeoncheon, Gyeonggi Province. The reason Jimin and Jungkook were assigned here is because they were 'joined enlistment'.

Companion enlistment is a system in which a close friend, brother, relative, or colleague enlists, undergoes training together, and is assigned to a unit in the same living area, allowing them to serve until they are discharged. It was designed to help people quickly adapt to military life and to increase their motivation to serve.

It is known that if you enlist together, you will usually go to the 'front line'. Strictly speaking, the area of ​​service is not necessarily the front line. Accompanying enlisted soldiers will be assigned to units located in the Gyeonggi and Gangwon regions. Since most of the units in the Gyeonggi and Gangwon regions are located in the front lines, they usually end up in the front lines. Therefore, Jimin and Jungkook will also be deployed to their units in the Gyeonggi and Gangwon regions after basic military training.

Since Jimin and Jungkook enlisted together, they will be assigned to the same unit and belong to the same company. If a dormitory is operated in a dormitory, there is a possibility that you will be staying in the same dormitory. Before enlisting in the military, Jimin said through the fan community Weverse, "Enlisting with Jungkook gives me a lot of determination."

The Army's 5th Infantry Division Recruit Training Center, where Jimin and Jungkook are enrolled, is also where Jin, the eldest brother of BTS, is currently serving as an assistant instructor. Accordingly, interest was also focused on the possibility that Jin, a teaching assistant and sergeant, and Jimin and Jungkook, trainees, could meet. According to military officials, Jin is in charge of a teaching assistant at another company, so Jimin and Jungkook will not meet while receiving education and training, but they can meet during personal maintenance hours on the weekends. It is possible for Assistant Jin to take trainees Jimin and Jungkook to the PX, a store in the military.

All seven members of BTS now have military status. The day before, RM and V began military service. Prior to this, Jin was the first to enlist in December of last year. Afterwards, J-Hope enlisted on active duty in April of this year and is currently a corporal. Suga has been serving as a social worker since last September. Jin was promoted early due to his excellent military performance.

Jin, J-Hope, and Suga also took time off to see V and RM off on their enlistment day. The day before enlistment, Jimin and Jungkook were also there. Jin also left a message on his social account, saying, "Don't get hurt and travel carefully. My babies."

From accompanying enlistment to ‘senior’ members accompanying the ‘successor’ members. Even while carrying out their national defense duties, BTS' loyalty and friendship still shine.

Jimin and Jungkook, the last of the members to begin military service, are expected to be discharged in June 2025. It is expected that we will be able to see BTS in its entirety in the second half of 2025.

Kim Ji-won, Ten Asia reporter bella@tenasia.co.kr

Jiwon Kim

reporter profile

[phasmophobie]

❛ you look sick to your stomach. ❜

⠀⠀⠀“ 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐓𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐇. “ mocked the boy across the room, his grin split his face and gave away his mischievous intentions. Bile crossed the brunette's throat and splattered across the ground and his feet. Tears collected in the corners of his eyes, but he held his sobs back. Ashamed of his bodily reaction, he pressed his hands over his mouth and rushed off. Laughter followed him wherever he went. It echoed across the hallways and made sure everyone knew that he was the center of humiliation. The boy, who’s laugh grew louder the more attention he gathered from the other kids, had secretly put emetics into his lunch when he got distracted by equally devious classmates who had made fun of his terrible haircut. Kids were gruesome and cruel, that much Pavel had learned. They didn’t tolerate differentness as much as any grown-up. The most terrible and heart wrenching thing about school was that not even the teachers cared enough to educate the other children. Boys will be boys, they said. He wasn’t as strong as the others, he wasn’t cunning nor interested enough to look for someone weaker than him. Despite his father’s lectures, he didn’t know how to defend himself, when all he ever wanted was to be left alone. No matter how far off he stood from the others, no matter how little to no interest he showed in the frivolity on the playground, he still got stared and pointed at — not just by his classmates. Kids didn’t want to play with him anyway, but they still used it against him. They called him a freak and retard, despite being told not to say those words. 

⠀⠀⠀The little Zamádis didn’t speak. Doctors said his vocal cords were intact and that he would need some training, but he would be able to form words as any other healthy boy. Pavel just chose not to. Although it didn’t really feel like a choice. Till this day Pavel wasn’t quite sure why he never even attempted to speak. Maybe it was partly solidaric to his mother, who couldn’t speak either even if she had wanted to. Most likely it was due to his traumatic experience as a toddler. Retrospective, losing a voice would have been the lesser price than losing a mother. 

⠀⠀⠀His body shook heavily while he emptied his stomach of all the medicine that had been wrongfully foisted on him. The laughs were ringing in his ears and accompanied the choking unappetizing sounds. No one had followed him — a realization that was as relieving as it was saddening. You’re nothing. Pavel rubbed over his teary eyes with the back of his shaking hand. The uneven cut strands of his hair were falling over his forehead, plastered against his sweaty skin. His father didn’t care enough to waste money on a barber, reason why he had cut it himself at some point. He liked to imagine that his mama would have done it, if she had been able to. You’re a coward. Tears were rolling down his heated cheeks, pooling at his chin and dropping on the edge of the seat. Exhaustion hit him the second the nausea passed. Despite his tears Pavel remained completely silent. He sat on the ground of the toilet stall and already heard the arguments of his father. How he was the one misbehaving, how he should have acted, how he could have prevented becoming the victim. He was a Zamádis after all. They don’t falter, they are no victims, they’re the ones who reach for higher grounds and look beyond instead of behind. Yet, he sat on the dirty grounds of a highschool bathroom and cried like the loser he was.