#hahahaha i laugh but i'm dying inside

[storydays]

The Show Must Go On P1

(3rd POV)

*With Vox*

"Oh! Nifty, nice side swipe. Pentious like to see that effort." Charlie called happily. "Teamwork makes the dreamwork." replied the snake." "Train, train, train." Niffty said excitedly. The camera zoomed out to reveal the TV Overlord watching the hotel members training. 

"No fucking way! They're going to fight? Oh, my God." Vox cackled before mocking the princess on screen. "Oh, looks like your little hotel didn't work out so well. Oh Alastor, I cannot wait to watch you get FUCKED!" 

*Back at the hotel*

"Oh, I wish my mom was here to see this." Charlie sighed to Vaggie. "Well, the cannibals seem ready to fight, are we?" "Fear not damsels! I shall have the staff ready for victorious combat!" Pentious called, dressed as a war captain. 

"What in the hell are you supposed to be?" Vaggie asked. "General Pentious, reporting for duty. I'll turn those rapscallions into soldiers in no time at all." 

"Thank you, Pen." Charlie smiled as Vaggie face palmed. "What can I do to help?" Niffty asked, holding dead bugs in her hands. "I'm glad you asked, soldier. The base needs fortifications. Reinforce the southern wall. Create a moat around the perimeter to stop a ground assult." Pentious ordered loudly.

Niffty blinked at him blankly. 

"Here, Nif." (Y/N) chuckled, kneeling to Niffty's height and handing her an angelic knife. "If you see an angel, stab it." "Ooh.."The little cyclops giggled at the knife before spotting Angel who was talking to Cherri a few feet away. "Stab! Stab! Stab!" 

"Hey,hey,hey,hey!" Angel climbed high onto the pole next to him as Cherri ran off. "Not him!" (Y/N) cried, blocking Niffty, wings widespread to hide Angel from her view. 

Niffty glared slightly before giggling and running off. 

"She's gone, tesoro. You can come down now." (Y/N) watched in amusement as Angel tapped into his stripper past and got off the pole, back flipping into his arms. "Thanks, babe." Angel kissed (Y/N)'s cheek as he got down before they walked over to the rest of the group.

"Listen up, sinners! We got 24 hours before the extermination begins. Let's get to work." Vaggie said in her drill Sargent voice.

*Back with Vox*

"Oh, they suck. They're--they're gonna die." He laughed, watching as Vaggie teach where to strike the angels, Pentious building something, and (Y/N) using his magic to summon his own warriors and weapons. 

*At the hotel*

Charlie borrowed Alastor's staff, tapping it slightly so everyone could hear her. "Hello, I want to thank everyone for coming. Even people who aren't staying here yet...Cherri." Charlie smiled playfully at the pink haired cyclops. 

"Look, I can't resist a fight, okay? Especially when I get to tag team with this fuckhead." Cherri grinned pulling Angel down to share matching grins.

"Tomorrow, the exorcist angels will face a Hell ready to defend itself and win. " Charlie fist pumped the air. 

"Yeah! Yeah, we will! Tell 'em, baby!" Vaggie cheered loudly for her girlfriend. 'Yes. And we are--we are going to win! But in case we don't,  I want you all to know...that getting to know you has been the biggest honor of my life. Whatever redemption really means,  I know you all tried." 

Charlie looked out onto the crowd, looking proudly at her family who sent her proud looks back. "I have seen the good in all of you. And it's, I just...I love you all so much and--and live tonight however you want because--" "We're all going to die! Hahahaha!" Niffy announced loudly. 

Everyone stared at her, feeling very awkward.

"All right! Let's give it up for not dying! Love not dying!" Vaggie cheered, before realizing the mood was killed. "Drinks?" 

*Inside the hotel*

"I mean, personally, I'm excited. It's been a long time since I stabbed anyone and meant it, know what I mean?" Vaggie said to Charlie who looked mildly concerned. 

"Cheers, bitches!" Cherri exclaimed, clinking her glass against Angel, Husk and (Y/N)'s, who all grinned back. "Here's to us!" Angel smiled. "Here's to being alive today and not dying tomorrow." Sir Pentious said loudly, everyone cheering him on. 

On the balcony, Alastor watched them with a fond smile. "Ah, the celebratory night before a courageous last stand. It's been a surprising thrill to witness these wayward souls find connection. Almost makes one sentimental, eh Niffty?" 

Niffty was sitting on the railing next to him. "I really like them, Alastor. They let me put on roach puppet shows without booing!" 

"Ahh, an enjoyable collective to be around. I admit one could get accustomed."

Niffty placed a roach crown on Alastor's head. "I dub thee King Roach." 

"Oh, to understand your twisted little mind."  The two began to laugh manically.

*With Angel, (Y/N) and Husk*

"Last day of afterlife, and you're not off snorting a line off some hunk's abs?" Husk asked the spider. 

"Ehh, you fucked one cannibal pool boy, you fucked 'em all. 'Sides, I got my hunk right here." Angel shrugged before hanging two of his arms around (Y/N) who smiled back. "I guess you have changed." Husk smiled. 

"Hey, Charlie said live tonight however we wanted, so pour me a fresh one, and let's get to living!" Angel exclaimed, holding out his glass. Husk smirked before moving to make the two another drink.

Angel smiled down at (Y/N) who cuddled closer, wrapping his arms around 

*With Sir Pentious*

"Miss Bomb? Cherri?" He asked, taking his hat off. Vaggie pat his shoulder in silent support. 

"Yeah?"

"I want to tell you....that I...love..I'd love to wish you good luck in the battle ahead." He held his hand out for Cherri to shake, which she did, eyeing him weirdly. 

"Okay?"

"You are....Have always been a worthy opponent. With the most brillant explosive contraptions I've ever seen." Pentious blushed. 

"Uh....thanks?" Cherri smiled, sharing a soft moment with him. 

"Please don't die tomorrow. Okay! Bye!" The flustered snake talked loudly before disappearing. 

(Y/N) and Angel appeared on either of Cherri's side. 

(Y/N) with a strawberry Daiquiri in his left right hand, Angel holding two shots in his right hands,  offering one out to Cherri. 

"Ya know, you could totally tap that." Angel smirked, clinking his glass against Cherri's.

"Tss, don't be gross." Cherri rolled her eye. 

"Cuz, you know, I hear he's got two dicks." (Y/N) muttered, tail lazily waving behind him. "Huh!" Cherri hummed, eye narrowed in thought. 

*With Charlie*

Charlie stood in front of her brother and Angel's door, looking at the photos and the LED lights the spider had strung up. There were photos of the Angel and (Y/N) doing a heart with their hands into the camera, a selfie of Charlie and Angel, a selfie of Husk and Angel in tuxedis with the caption, 'Tux Boys', and a picture of Fat Nuggets and Rocco.

Sobs escaped her throat as she started to feel her feelings. "Charlie?" Vaggie called softly. 

"Um, I'm sorry. I'm just so scared." Charlie wiped her tears and hugged herself closer. "What if we lose?" 

*With (Y/N)*

(Y/N) hummed softly as he laid in Angel's lap, three of Angel's hands playing with his hair, as his one free hand scrolled through a bridal website. "How about this one?"

"Uh-uh. Too poofy, next."

"Neck ruffles? What is this? The 16th century? Burn it like the witches who wore it!" (Y/N) rolled his eyes, making Angel giggle. (Y/N) stared up at the spider, smiling to himself. Angel noticed him staring and put his phone down, nuzzling the prince. 

"What are you thinking about?" (Y/N) waved his hand, and suddenly they were on the roof, and sitting under a (f/c) light show with a romantic picnic. "I figured we could end the night with a romantic surprise."

Together the couple laid together in their swinging bed, watching the stars floating on their ceiling, (Y/N)'s wings protectively wrapped around Angel.  

"I love you, Anthony." 

"I love you, (Y/N)."

*The Next Day, in Heaven*

"Extermination Day is here, bitches!" 

*END*

@marsham3llo

[imlivinginyourtrashcan]

back at it again with the swap au

In this version, Giovanni is a mundie! Part of the crime family, The Potages! Only containing Gio, his two moms, and his very concerned Epithet having cousins, The Roughhouses

Now for what you've all been waiting for:

The mugger shrunk back. W-what the hell was she supposed to do in a situation like this?! Her eyes darted over towards the two teens cowering next to the backpack. Desperately, she grabbed the sea urchin looking one and held him at knifepoint, he pantomimed in mute protest.

"St-stop right there!" She shouted. "Don't you care what happens to these two?!"

Giovanni's grin did not falter for a second, in fact, it had gotten wider. More gremlin esc, you could say. He flicked his arms, hiding them inside his sleeves. "You think a hostage can save your ass? HAH!" He barked. "Go 'head, don't need 'em alive to sell their stuff, best thing they can do is postpone the inevitable by a few seconds, then I'll have three more body's under my belt." He flicked his sleeves, several switchblades coming out from inside, dragging them across the alley walls, his foot steps driving into the mugger's head like a mysterious ticking noise

Tik

Tik

Tik

"Is five thousand dollars worth their lives? Is it worth yours? You gonna wake up with five thousand in your pocket after you watch two teenagers die in front of ya? Or ya gonna let yourself die? These are aaaaalll hypothetical, it don't matter to me! It's your choice 'Sides," Giovanni stopped, eyes gazing the mugger with a serious, shaded away expression, like in an anime. "I've killed for less."

Suddenly, Giovanni charged the mugger head on until she ran out of the alleyway, screaming her head off like she had just saw five horror movies all at once.

Giovanni stopped, waiting until dead silence was all that remained.

Once there was reassurance that she was fully gone, the two ex-hostages looked at their saviour.

Giovanni Potage did not have an Epithet

Giovanni Potage had never been in a real fight in all seventeen years of his life.

Giovanni Potage started to laugh out of panic

"HOOOLY SMOKES!!! HAHAHAHA!!!" He spat quickly, hiding the knives in his sleeves while he gripped the wall. "That was SO SCARY! Hah! I may be laughing but on the inside I'm dying!"

Giovanni hadn't lied to the mugger fully about his background, his side of the family were a bunch of criminals, growing up learning how to scare, cheat, and lie his way through life. He tries his best to put all that behind him, though. If he had an Epithet, like his parents, he would use all these tricks all he wanted, but, he was a Mundie. So that means he has to lay low.

He desperately wheezed, hacking up whatever was in his throat. "Oh my god what a rush! I straight up thought we were all gonna croak! I know I kept my cool, but I swear If anyone touched me I would turn to dust."

Rick wrapped his arms around Giovanni, crying big stupid tears. "GIOVANNII!!!! MY SECOND BESTEST FRIEND!!! THANK YOU!!! YOU'VE SAVED US FROM THE MONEY HUNGRY WENCH!!!!!"

Giovanni awkwardly patted his back, then Lorelai was dragged into the hug, Rick nestling his head in the middle, tears falling onto the concreate.

"You too, Lorelai! I am so sorry the woman had drenched your work! But the best thing is that.... we are ALL HERE!!"

Ah, the beloved Neo Trio. Standing near each other, all three looked like Neapolitan ice cream, Lorelai and Rick's hair even made it so some of the ice-cream got into their section, authentic!

Giovanni Potage and Rick Shades, Lorelai's best friends, she cared about them more than anything else.

Now for RICK! Our beloved Rich little Sea Urchin! In the au, he's a Mundie, much like Giovanni. Being homeschooled most of his life, Rick never really got people, and people never really got him. He later finds two new BEST FRIENDS! Giovanni and Lorelai.

The good stuff:

"Hey.."

"Oh- eh- hello!" Rick waved awkwardly like a robot, as he started to sweat from the very thought of human interaction.

"Nice lookin' bag ya got there..."

The 'bag' she was referring to was Rick's murse, it was a cute little purple purse in the shape of a sea urchin. Rick had a... strange obsession with sea creatures, sea slugs, cephalopods, isopods, shrimps, crabs, you name it? He loved it. Sometimes he would tell random strangers facts only he thinks are cool.

"Thank you!" Rick held it up "It's a sea urchin! By the way, did you know that the sea urchin uses the hydraulic pressure of water moving in and out of their tube feet to move about slowly. They can also propel themselves along with their spines. That's pretty impressive, considering sea urchins don't actually have brains!" Rick info dumped, not picking up on the fact the woman clearly did not care.

"Look's expensive..."

"Oh indeed it was! I had to personally commission it!" Rick grinned, like a glitched character in a video game. The air got too thick with awkward silence to where he had to leave. "Well! Bye!" He quickly made a break for the exit, but the woman blocked her path.

"Who'd you get to commission it for ya? Might be lookin t'get one.."

"Oh! I paid that nice man at the Baxter's crafting store! No clue what his name was, but I'm sure he'd be happy to make it for you!" The bells in his head were not going off when they really should be

"Ooooooh Baxter's? Gee, I don't think I can afford it"

"Hm! Troubling!" Rick blinked, pulling out a book about Marine Biology from his murse. "Anyways, do you want to hear about 101 Ocean Wildlife Facts?"

Rick did not wait for an answer before flipping through it, clearing his throat, he read the first fact. "Number one! Many bony fish have more than just one set of nostrils. The nostrils of fish also do not open into the back of the mouth like those of mammals, and are not, therefore, for breathing. They lead into organs of smell, which are very sensitive in order for fish to detect the presence of food in the water at considerable distances. More nostrils = more smelling! Huh! Well isn't that neat?"

Rick, once again, did not wait for a reply from the woman. "Ahem, number two-"

The woman didn't think twice before trying to snatch the murse from Rick, making him grab for it with a whine. "Heyyy! That's mine!"

"Not for long!" The woman replied, tugging it. Rick shimmied his way out of her grasp, clutching the murse closely as he shoved the book back inside it.

"You bully! You could've broken it! I know just how to deal with you!" Rick declared, inching closer to the woman before embracing her. "You are only mean because of what society has done! I will be the first to break your mind away from these patterns of violence and thievery! I... forgive you!"

The woman swiftly snatched up the boy by his aquarium back pack, causing him to flail and wail.

"NOOOOOOOO!!! VHS TAPES!!!!! YOU LIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"

[serenatheseraph]

devildom on lockdown #1

this may sound familiar. it was something i never acted on cause i was lazy asf. so i'll try to do this again with various CRACK scenarios. dont do the shit their doing pls *mwah

♯ 1 : "Mammon's Adventure to San Francisco Pt. 1"

Mammon : Immm baaaaccckkkkkk! Ya miss me human?

MC : Not really (。_。)

Mammon :

Mammon : Fuck you too.

Leviathan: Mammon! There you are!

Mammon : Wow your coming to welcome your big bro back! I love ya Levi!

Leviathan : WHERE'S MY MONEY SO I CAN BUY THE NEW RURI-CHAN CD!

Mammon :

MC :

God :

The Wind :

Mammon : I hate ya too, brother.

Lucifer : Mammon! There you are, your late.

Mammon : How am I late I never specified when I'd be back!

Lucifer : *Bitch the fuck you mean stare*

Mammon : I mean I did! Sorry for tha' wait!

Lucifer : We need help moving all these boxes that are in MC's room.

Mammon : Why're there boxes in MC's room?

Lucifer : They-

Satan : Failed magic trick. That's all.

MC : How was your trip, Mams? Did you get mugged by a hobo?

Mammon : Haha.

MC : Well? Did you?

Mammon : Hahahaha

Leviathan : It's obvious he did! He's sweating and laughing nervously!

Lucifer : Nevermind that. Go wash up, who knows what you caught in the human world.

Satan : Yes, do that. Haven't you seen the news?

Lucifer : You expect me, a denizen of the Devildom, to know what goes on in the human realm?

Satan : Yes.

Lucifer : No, what's going on, Satan.

MC : People have corvette virus.

Lucifer : Corvette—the car...?

Satan: No. COVID...Coronavirus...

MC : Royaltyvirus, blah blah.

Lucifer : Lord Diavolo can contract this?

Satan : Lucifer, don't listen to MC. I took their IQ test.

MC : I'm smart as fuck.

Leviathan : Your not even as smart as a flamingo.

MC : Their pretty and that's all that matters.

Mammon : Shuddup, I'll go wash up aight!

[Some days later]

Mammon : *COUGH* I'm dy...dying... *cough*

Mammon : MC... Tell my brothers--I love them. Thro...throw away the shoe box under my bed and don't let Beel find it...p..please...

MC : The shoe box that has the millenium year old yogurt Beel had saved and has his name on?

Beelzebub : WHAT?!

Mammon : Shut the fuck up MC!—...it hurts...s...soo...muuuch...

Solomon : Oh be quiet, Mammon, it's just a fever. *cough* That I...also have. 😔

Leviathan : If it was just a fever why do I have it also!! *cough* Ugh...

Solomon : Diseases can spread???

Leviathan : True.

MC : Haha, Mammon, Solomon, and Leviathan have corvettevirus.

Simeon : Disease is not a joke, MC!

MC : Haha, Mammon and Leviathan.

Lord Diavolo : How did this happen Mammon?

Leviathan : Didn't you hear MC? We have corvettevirus!

Satan : *Coronavirus

Mammon : Well, it happened in San Francisco...

Everyone : Obviously.

Mammon : I was gone with Solomon.

Lord Diavolo : How about we hear Solomon's story first.

Barbatos : I agree.

Lucifer: I second that

Asmodeus : I third that!

MC : I four that.

[Solomon's version]

Solomon : (So, it really started the second we stepped out of the portal. Instead of being in front of the Grand Hotel, we were in downtown infront of the government building.)

Mammon : Aye! This tha Grand Hotel?!

Solomon : No, don't you see the sign there? It says San Francisco Government Office.

Mammon : Which the Grand Hotel is called...?

Solomon : *Faceplant* Let's just ask for directions.

[The two see a hobo, and then a business man]

Mammon : That guy looks friendly! *Points at the hobo who is obviously sick and has some flu*

Solomon : Ahem. No. We're going up to the gentleman, Mammon.

Mammon : Okayyyy.

Business Man : Oh hello there.

Solomon : Yes hello, do you know where the Grand Hotel is?

Business Man : Of course...

Luke : Uhm how did you guys get covid from that guy?

Solomon : It wasn't him, Luke.

MC : It was the hobo!

Solomon : Not him either...surprisingly I think.

Solomon : (Mammon had disappeared off somewhere after I got done speaking with the gentleman, and I had to search everywhere til I found him inside of a pawn shop...)

Solomon : MAMMON! What are you doing straying away like that!

Mammon : W-

Asmodeus : It's obvious what he was doing!

MC : He smelled... *Money money money...*

Belphegor : High five honestly.

Solomon : Stop interrupting the story Simeon's gonna break just look at him

Simeon : *On the verge of dying from constant story interruptions* (If yall remember that episode he got pissed off from Levi I have all respect)

Mammon : Well. I saw this shiny thing on the floor.

Solomon : So your pea sized brain just had to get it?

Mammon :

Mammon : Wow can you mind read?

Solomon : I'm not mind reading you.

Pawn Shop Owner : Hey hey, no arguing in my shop! Anyways sir... that coin is priceless! Are you sure you wanna give it up?

Mammon : How much does it cost?

Pawn Shop Owner : Hmm maybe close to a million.

Mammon : *Money panic* HELL YEAH!

Solomon : You idiot, you don't know what that coin is-

*Sold*

Solomon : Mammon...! Why'd you do that!

Mammon : You speak like that coin was cursed or something.

Solomon : Yeah no it wasn't.

Mammon : Good!

Solomon : IT WAS YOU IMBECILE!

to be continued. >> 🫡

[mmm-bbaq]

being Old and trying to find a discord community to hang out and talk about the block game people in is hard

everyone is so so very young ;-;

[mizunetzu]

ushijimia and tsukishima.... pink haired boyfriend👀👀 i'm in love with them im sorry😫thank you so muchhhh ilyyy💙💙

LMAOOO ONE MORE PINK HAIRED Y/N COMING UP-

Also-ushijimia hahahaha jimia

——————

Headcannons - Ushijima and Tsukishima with an s/o who dyed his hair pink

⚠️warnings - none !! Well, tsukkis is kind of angsty but not as angsty as per se “it’s your fault” (if you know which one that is 💀💀) so, light angst

Pronouns - male, he/him

——————

Ushijima:

Ok this lineup is actually pretty tamer compared to the twink show in the first part HAHAHAH

Tendou wanted to dye your hair

You hated your bland (h/c) hair, so you let him

He asked which color and you said “suprise me”

Pink

He chose LIGHT BABY PINK THIS GUY—

Out of all the colors you didn’t expect this one

When it was wet you thought you were gonna hate it but then it dried and wow it’s all poofy and it makes your eyes look soft actually your whole face looks soft I-

Cue Tendou gushing about how awesome you look and how amazing he is at dye jobs because he didn’t get much dye on your face or ears

you pulled up to practice right

Goshiki thought you looked awesome as hell

Shirabu and Semi said you looked nice and immediately guessed it was tendou who dyed it

Oh honey then ushiwaka came out of the club room and into the gym

He was about to say something but then HIS FACE WENT FROM HIS NORMAL ‘: |’ EXPRESSION TO FUCKING EYES WIDE

He forgot what he was going to say 💀

“You...look very nice, (L/n)-san.”

He just,,,walked over to u and put his giant ass spiker hand on your hair

He didn’t even ruffle your hair he just...laid it there

“Uh...t-thank you...”

All day would NOT stop staring at you

HE DIDNT EVEN HIDE IT HE WAS JUST LOOKING AT YOU

“Ara? Is out Wakatoshi-kun interested in our (Y/n)-kun?”

“I...want to eat his hair.”

TENDOU STARTED LAUGHING HIS ASS OFF

USHIJIMA THOUGHT YOUR HEAD LOOKED LIKE COTTON CANDY 💀💀

THIS GUY 😭

Tsukishima:

Ugh this man

WOULD NOT STOP TEASING THE SHIT OUT OF YOU

the day you walked into practice with your newly dyed pink hair n saw Tsukki u knew u were Not Safe

Everyday he thinks of a new retort for you and your hair

“Is your hair even still healthy from all that bleach you put in it to make it light?”

“I wonder if I can tear off your hair like cotton candy.”

“What are you, a jpop idol? You gonna sing for me?”

Will Not Admit how cute you actually look

He’s too prideful for that 😭😭

Ok but like one day

You had a preeeeetty shitty day

And there tsukki here comes

“Oh? Looks like the pink in your hair blinded you enough to miss that serve.”

He was snickering

You just

Looked at him with the most disgusted, hurt, done face he’s ever seen, before leaving to go fetch the ball from the middle of the court

He felt kind of shitty

But he felt even more shitty when you showed up to school in a beanie, covering all your adorable pink hair inside it

He was sad, not even a strand of pink :(

You looked like Tanaka HAHAHAHA

You didn’t spare him a glance all day

And you always brushed past him so quickly before he could say anything

But the moment that really made him feel like a douche was when he found you buying black hair dye at the Sakonoshita store

He stopped behind you, you were crouching down and comparing two black dye’s prices

“What...what are you doing?”

You didn’t even turn around

“I’m dyeing my hair black. Y’know, since you hate the pink so much.”

He didn’t know what to say

He really really didn’t mean it like that

“Y’know, I thought I looked really good, till you ruined that.”

You turned around, eyes slightly watery and lips curled up into a quavery, dry, tight-lipped smile

“I really don’t know why I care about your opinion so much...”

Tsukishima felt like fucking scum lemme tell you that

He crouched down, averting his eyes because he didn’t want you to see the blush on his face

“I-I didn’t mean any of it, you idiot.”

It was your turn to go silent

“I...”

Tsukki took a deep breath and furrowed his brows

“I think you look...cute...with pink hair.”

Let’s just say you walked out of the store without black hair dye

But it’s ok, you walked out with a new boyfriend instead

That was way more than I expected to write whag the fuck

tsukki just had Angst Potential

——————

[myvelouri]

I just got off work.

I'm outside my house, in my car.

I don't want to go in.

I had a bad day.

So, the virus I have. The bumps. I guess they got agitated because of the friction from my pants and underwear since I was working all day. It hurt so much. I had almost a panic attack because one seemed to be like breaking apart, it's disgusting, I know. It makes me want to cry it's so gross.

I went home on my break and found out that it seemed to come out, I panicked and took off my pants, discarded my underwear, only because it's extremely contagious, this virus, and I don't want to spread it onto myself anywhere else. I immediately took alcohol and rubbed it all over my groin, my thighs, I was panicking. I hope that worked. I don't know, I don't know!

I saw a really gorgeous girl at work too. I couldn't help myself and I asked her out. She said she was already taken. She was so pretty, like skinny fit, and had on a crop top and leggings or athletic pants? I never know, she had nice legs and a cute butt hah. Her face was pleasant, and I think her hair was braided back, she said her mom's from Chile and her dad is something else, I don't know, Cuban, she looked white or Hispanic. She was absolutely beautiful. She was nice to me too.

But I felt. I felt like just dying. If she even said yes to me, I couldn't do anything, not until this virus goes away, if it ever does. It's supposed to, it's not an STD, I just. I am too flirty of a person. I just. I can't not do it. But I would completely avoid her. It's terrible. I don't want to. But I'd have to.

My other friend is avoiding me and seemingly ignoring me. I don't know what happened. Apparently people think we are dating, so I found out, but we're not. Maybe that bothered her and she's distancing herself from me. Or this is me overthinking.

She is going through other shit but I don't know

Actually I briefly saw her today, I was working and she was clocking out. I went up to her and she came up to me and put her arms on my chest and said "I'm tiiiired" and she laughed and moped all cutely. I hugged her back. But I got called to the front so I had to go, she didn't wait though. It sucks. I like our friendship, there's playful flirting there, it's fine, I'm single.

Yeah but, now I don't even ask her to hang out because this virus... It's making me antisocial, I'm so, I feel so disgusting. How long will this last?

Yeah so I only asked out one girl. They always end up being taken..I actually saw a couple, she was so pretty and the guy wasn't? Lol, that's mean. He was extremely nice though, kind of reminded me of me when I'm super polite. I thought girls didn't like nice guys. Idk, they were joking and I was joking with them. It was fun actually. She was way attractive. I'm retarded.

I'm just sitting in my car.

I was closing the store with another co-worker, she was kind of being flirty it seemed. She picked up these shorts that were pink and whatnot and said "I'ma buy these for you" and I said lmao I'd look too sexy in those, I have amazing legs. She laughed. I don't remember what she said but it sounded like she said all the girls here think something about me, idk.

Uh, she said I had small feet for a dude! She has big feet for a girl hahaha except I was being nice to her. She's sad that she's tall, I said girl being tall is a good thing wtf. But yeah I do have small feet I guess. Like a size 10.5-11. my cousins are all like size 13. Hell hahahahaha even my junk is in line with that it seems, hahahaha kill me.

But what's that matter right? Well it matters a lot to me. But it's like, I can't do anything with this virus anyway

I just wish I had a different body. I really do..or at least an upgraded version of this body. Take out all the flaws. Yeah. I'd be cute. I'd be happy. Because that would also mean being cured of depression

Wow this is getting long, yeah, you can tell I REALLY don't want to go inside.