#haha yeah this is my dad and he's just glaring daggers at that man to play along as a regular dad guy

[snove101]

yk the idea of marcus befriending oliver for the sole purpose of getting closer to the davenports is so sad but also really fucking funny to me like

he cant get close to the davenports themselves for some fucking reason, apparently he cannot get closer with kaz, so oliver is his best bet. he rly went to the guy who's best friend is dating the target 😞 it's so convoluted but so funny to imagine marcus being rejected that many times to the point where he settles to befriend oliver

[wonkasmissstarshine]

The Chocolatier’s Rose {Willy Wonka x OC} Ch. 6

GIFs not mine. Credit go to owners.

Summary: It’s the day of the tour. Rose Bucket and Willy Wonka meet for the first time.

Tagging: @holdmeicant​ @willymywonkers​

Here they were, Rose and Charlie Bucket, standing at the front gates of Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory, waiting to be let in. Rose had dressed extra special for the occasion. Under her jacket, she was wearing a black dress with a white collar. There were red roses outlined on the black of her dress. She wore a pair of flats to match. "Aren't you excited, Rosie?" Charlie asked, looking up at his sister.

Rose smiled down at him. "More than you can imagine, Charlie" She looked back the at the crowd, seeing Mr and Mrs Bucket, and Grandpa Joe, smiling at them. Mrs Mason even showed up. She  stood with the Buckets and gave a grin.

Rose looked forwards again. She then began to wonder what exactly Mr. Wonka looked like. Would he be as handsome as she pictured him to be? Would he smell as good as his chocolate?

"Daddy!" Veruca Salt whined. "I want to go in!"

Rose sighed and rolled her eyes. Mr. Salt replied to his daughter, "It's nine fifty nine, sweetheart"

"Make time go faster!" Veruca demanded. Rose had to fight the urge to scream at the child she was stuck standing next to.

"Eyes on the prize, Violet" Rose overheard Mrs Beauregard tell her daughter. Of course, they were wearing matching outfits. "Eyes on the prize"

The gates opened and a voice came from the speakers. "Please, enter!" While everyone else was in a rush to be first, Rose and Charlie took their time. "Come forward!" Everyone moved forward until they were at the factory's entrance. "Close the gates!" The gates closed. "Dear visitors, it is my great pleasure to welcome you to my humble factory. And who am I? Well.."

The doors opened revealing a red curtain. Music began playing as the curtain was pulled back to reveal singing puppets. Rose smiled and began dancing to the song. The Gloops also danced along to it while everyone just stared.

Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka

The Amazing Chocolatier

Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka

Everybody give a cheer!

He's modest, clever, and so smart,

He barely can restrain it.

With so much generosity,

There is no way to contain it

To contain it, to contain, to contain, to contain.

Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka

He's the one that you're about to meet.

Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka

He's a genius who just can't be beat.

The magician and the chocolate 'wiz

The best darn guy who ever lived

Willy Wonka here he is!

A chair rose out of the floor, but it was empty. The pyrotechnics from the musical number caused the puppets to start melting. Everyone just stood in complete silence until someone started clapping and laughing. Everyone looked at the man who was now standing by Mr. Salt.

"Wasn't that just magnificent?" the man asked. Rose couldn't help but smile. She knew that this had to be Willy Wonka. "I was worried it was getting a little dodgy in the middle part, but then that finale. Wow!"

The man walked up the steps and turned to stare at everyone. "Who are you?" Violet asked.

"He's Willy Wonka" Rose said, in an almost dreamy tone. Sure, she pictured him to be handsome, but he was more beautiful than she could have imagined. And she already loved his quirky personality.

"Really?" Charlie asked, a smile on his face.

"Good morning, starshine! The earth says hello!" Willy greeted. Everyone stared at him like he was nuts, but Rose giggled, obviously amused by the man. Willy looked at her, and smiled a little bit. He was glad someone liked his greeting. He reached into his jacket and pulled out some cards. "Dear guests, greetings! Welcome to the factory. I shake you warmly by the hand" He extended his hand out for someone to shake it, but no one was stepping forward. That is, until Rose did. She could tell that he wasn't used to social interaction, so she wanted to be polite and try to make the situation a bit more comfortable for him.

She grabbed his hand and shook it, flashing him a smile. "It's very nice to meet you!" She whispered to him, before stepping back to stand beside Charlie again.

Willy just simply stared at her. He was already taken away with her. Not only was she the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen before, but she was kind and there was this warmth he felt when his gloved hand touched hers. He glanced back down at his cards when he felt he had been staring too long. "My name is Willy Wonka!"

Veruca pointed at the chair. "Then shouldn't you be up there?"

"Well, I couldn't very well watch the show from up there, now could I little girl?" This made Rose giggle yet again. Her angelic laugh was like music to Willy's ears. He couldn't help but smile at her again.

Charlie was quick to notice the silent interaction between his sister and the chocolatier. He may have been young, but he wasn't blind to notice when two people were already in love.

"Let's get a move on, kids!" Willy urged. Everyone followed him into the factory.

"Don't you want to know our names?" Augustus asked.

"Can't imagine how it would matter" Willy replied. "Come quickly. Far too much to see" He led everyone to a long room with a long red carpet, pale grey walls and bright lights. "Just drop your coats anywhere" Willy shed his coat, dropping it on the ground, and he took off his sunglasses as well, dropping them on top of his coat.

Rose gasped quietly when she saw his eyes. She had never seen violet eyes before. She had a better look at him now that they were under some light. His skin was so pale, due to the lack of sunlight from living in the factory for so long, and not one strand of his chocolate brown hair was out of place.

Everyone else opted to hang their coats on the posts of the velvet rope that was in the room. Rose glanced over at Willy to see him staring at her again. She blushed and looked down at the ground.

"Mr. Wonka, sure is toasty in here" Mr. Teavee commented.

"What?" Willy said, breaking out of his stare. "Oh, yeah. I have to keep it warm in here because my workers are used to an extremely hot climate. They just can't stand the cold" He explained.

"Who are the workers?" Charlie asked curiously.

"All in good time" Willy told him. He began leading the way down the hall. "Now..." Suddenly, Violet hugged him causing Willy to gasp.

"Mr. Wonka, I'm Violet Beauregard!" The girl smiled at him as she obnoxiously chewed on her gum. Rose rolled her eyes. It was going to be a long day with Violet's gum smacking.

"Oh" Willy glanced down at the girl and then muttered, "I don't care"

"Well, you should care, because I'm the girl that's gonna win the special prize at the end" Violet said with overconfident grin on her face.

"Well, you do seem confident and confidence is key" Willy said. Violet grinned up at her mother. Mrs. Beauregard gave an approving nod.

Willy gasped yet again when Veruca stepped in front of him. She had a big smile on her face. "I'm Veruca Salt. It's very nice to meet you, sir" She then curtsied.

"I always thought a verruca was a type of wart you got on the bottom of your foot. Haha!" Veruca glared at Willy, but Rose giggled again. Willy smiled at the sound. But that smile was quickly gone when Augustus stepped between him and Veruca.

"I'm Augustus Gloop" The gluttonous boy introduced himself, before taking a bite of the chocolate bar he had with him. "I love your chocolate!"

Willy eyed the boy up and down. "I can see that! So do I. I never expected to have so much in common" Before he took another step forward, he turned around and looked at Mike. "You. You're Mike Teavee. You're the little devil who broke the system" Then he looked at Charlie, but a genuine smile seemed to appear on Willy's face. "And you, you're just lucky to be here, aren't you?" He looked up at everyone else. "And the rest of you must be their p...p..."

Willy was struggling to say the word. To Rose, it looked like he was going to vomit trying to say it. "Parents" Mr. Salt finished for him.

"Yeah! Moms and dads!" Willy smiled but it quickly dropped when he looked off into space and muttered, "Dad? Papa?"

"Actually," Rose's voice pulled Willy back into reality. "I'm Charlie's older sister, Rose"

"Rose" Willy quietly repeated her name, a smile forming as the word left his lips. "Like the flower"

"Exactly" Rose nodded.

The two of them stared at each other for a moment. Everyone stared awkwardly at them, except for Charlie and Mrs. Beauregard. Charlie smiled at them, looking between the two. Mrs. Beauregard kept a jealous glare on Rose.

"Shall we?" Willy said, addressing everyone though his eyes were kept on Rose. He finally peeled his eyes away from her to lead everyone down the hall.

"Is it just me or does Wonka seem a few quarters short of a buck?" Mr Teavee had asked Mr. Salt.

"I'm sorry, I don't speak American" Mr. Salt replied.

Augustus walked up to Charlie. Rose watched the two of them carefully. Maybe the Gloop boy wouldn't be as bad as she thought. Maybe Charlie would make a friend with him. "Would you like some chocolate?" Augustus asked Charlie.

"Sure" Charlie nodded.

"Then you should have brought some!" Augustus teased before taking a bite out of the chocolate. Rose glared daggers at the boy.

Violet and Veruca looked at each other. "Let's be friends!" Veruca suggested, with an obviously fake smile.

"Best friends!" Violet said, the same smile plastered on her face. The two girls linked arms and their smiles quickly dropped.

Charlie grabbed Rose's hand and gently pulled on it. "Yes, Charlie?" She asked her curious brother.

"I think Mr. Wonka likes you" Charlie concluded.

A deep blush appeared on Rose's cheeks. "Charlie, he just met me. He couldn't possibly like me already"

"But he keeps staring at you and smiling at you" The next words that came out of Charlie's words surprised Rose to say the least. "Do you believe at love at first sight?"

"Of course I do, Charlie, but I also believe you should get to know the person before you decide to spend the rest of your life with them. That way you're sure that you absolutely do love them" When Rose said that last part, a train of guilt passed right through her. She stopped walking and stared off into space, much like Willy had done moments earlier.

"Rosie, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing, Charlie" Rose assured him when she was back into reality. "Let's just enjoy our day, alright?" She ran a hand through his hair. They finally reached the end of the hallway.

"An important room this," Willy explained. Rose noted something odd about the door. It was so small that a mouse was the only thing that could get through it. "After all, it is a chocolate factory"

"Then why is the door so small?" Mike questioned.

"It's to keep all the great big chocolatey flavour inside!" Willy answered him, and then laughed. He crouched down to unlock the door with his key. He then stood back up and pushed the bigger door open with the palm of his hand.

The view that appeared before Rose was only the kind of thing you'd see in your dreams. But here it was in front of her.

[idjitlili]

Legolas x reader

I am so tired I stayed up till 5 am last night reading so sorry if this shit. It is shit, Idont know what happened

Imagine somehow being teleported into Tolkien’s ,the hobbit, and you end up meeting legolas and Thranduil. In which you insult thranduil, Thorin is sorta your daddy.

You have been travelling with the company since the trolls tried to eat everyone. You had quite literally came out of a floating , flame coloured line. Only to walk into the tree. A troll had picked you up and attempted to eat you as-well , but you really didn’t care, as you was focusing how your head hurt from the tree.

After explaining your situation to Gandalf , which he ended up believing that you weren’t from here, due to your clothing, and strange sayings. Plus the evidence that all the dwarves and a Hobbit had seen you magically appear.

Thorin didn’t like having a teenage girl , with barely any self defence skills , to come with on their adventure, mission, thing. Yet he felt like he had to protect you from harm, surprisingly since you saw how he treated Bilbo. Uh basically he’s your dad.

The first night with the company , they had all offered you blankets , food (lucky Bombur makes a lot.) , the princes had given you some of their extra tunics. Which they had a lot because dwarves likes to wear layers. Too bad they weren’t green.

Dori acted like a mother to you , he would make sure you ate , and even got Ori to make you knitted goods. The dwarves thought you you would freeze to death , as dwarves didn’t get as cold as humans. Something to do with their build or something, you recall Balin telling you.

You became quick friends with Bilbo, he was interested in where you were from, and what it was like there.

Kili and fili teased you for your weird obsession with potatoes, as you mostly ate them, and you even had gone far enough to make a potato ring. (I actually did)

Now you and the company are In Mirkwood forest , unaware to what is going to strike, soon.

Kili and fili ,stood either side of you in a protective manner. For hours the company had been walking through Mirkwood, Thorin denying any assumptions that they were lost.

You grunt , at the blisters that are forming on your feet , that are sweating in your trainers.

“My legs hurt.” You moan , quietly dragging out hurt.

Kili scoffs at you , “your legs are longer , imagine how mine feel.”

You look at Bilbo who is lagging behind,

“Well you can’t say anything , Bilbos legs are as long as my dick.”

“OI y/n, i dont have no legs.”

“I never said that , my dick is hugeeeeee.”

“You don’t have a dick .” Bofur responds loudly , with annoyed tone.

“How would you know if she had a dick. You haven’t seen it.” Kili responds sending you a wink.

“Yeah thank you , my dick is in my head.”

“How would it fit though?” Fili inquires , with a confused facial expression.

“I meant my personality you jensen Ackles , and John travolta blend!” You reply smirking to yourself .’Boom roasted’ not that he would get the joke.

Unknown the rest of the company Bilbo had climbed up a tree to look for a way out of mirkwood. The air felt limited in the poisoned forest , you felt chills go up your back, shivering slightly.

“Thorin...” you speak slowly, as you spot a eight legged spider, approach in the distance. It was bigger than a sheep, teeth like knives, beads for eyes.

Thorin grabs you and makes sure you are behind him, before you know it , all the dwarves plus you are surrounded. You unarmed, stay close with thorin , so you don’t die.

Suddenly the spiders are everything, no escape, the spiders are travelling down by webs and pulling up the dwarves , who don’t see it coming because they are too busy fighting the ones on the ground. When they are pulled up , they are wrapped into a webbed cocoon.

Thorin grabs a hold of you and pulls you into his jacket , then you are both slung up into the air, you become dizzy from being wrapped up in the webbing. Then you and thorin are in just stuck. For what it seems like forever.

Until , you feel yourself falling down slowly from the trees, the cocoon is ripped open by thorin. You get up looking around there are several, other cocoons with dwarves crawling out of them. You look around to see there are still spiders everywhere, you look to the floor and see thorins swords , picking up quickly you pass it to him. he nods with appreciation and passes you a dagger.

I guess you have no chance but try to help , otherwise the others will die because you were too scared to take a chance.

‘You miss 100% the shots you don’t take -Wayne Gretzky-Michael Scott -y/n l/n’

Before you can even look around for a target , you are rugby tackled to the ground, by a disgusting excuse of one of Morgan freeman’s creations.(I think he’s god uh)

You pull your arm out of its grasp, with your ,sorry thorins dagger in hand , before the poison from the spider can be injected. You stab it the face , its body goes stiff around you curling. You push it off gagging at its texture, you pull yourself off the floor only to be tackled again.

This time the dagger had been knocked out of your gasp , desperately you try to reach it buts in use, the creature pushes you down hard. You pull up your leg and kick as hard as you can, it lands on the left of you. You finally able to grab the dagger going to kill the spider, but someone beats you to it , FIring an arrow through its head.

You look up to see a blonde dude, why is he wearing leggings. Weirdo, your brother accidentally put your leggings on ,once and ripped the crotch how he didn’t notice

he doesn’t own leggings. I do not know.

Snapping you out of your thoughts , you are dragged up, dagger snatched out of your hand, and you are roughly pushed towards the group.

“Don’t you touch her again , or I’ll make sure your everlasting life does t last.” Thorin snaps at the ginger elf that had man handled you. What a bitch.

“Oh is this human your girlfriend?awwe.” The blond elf snickers at Thorin, kili and fili gag at the thought of their uncle being in a relationship.

“Uh princess , yeah you with the dance pants. Treat the king of erebor with a little respect. Assbutt.” You glare at the blond, who tended at your words. Haha loser.

“There is no king under the mountain not will there ever be.” He replies , scowling at you.

“Yes , there will be , princess.” He scoffs.

———————————————————

The blonde elf that you soon discover his name is legolas ,and he is the kings sOn.

Bilbo was missing , aand the company were led to the woodland realm. You could only hope that he would find a way for us to escape.

You and Thorin were spilt from the other dwarves, we were brought to the king. He stuck a deal with Thorin who declined. This king was as dickhead , and narcissistic. Legolas is stood next to you just in case you tried anything .

“Take him alway, ill take to his girlfriend now.” The woodland king states to his guard smoothly.

You scoff.

“ I am literally 18, you perv.”

You feel his ice eyes , stare at you , judging , your whole life, your clothing.

“You are not from here are you,child?” He must of noticed your keanu reeves shirt.

“No”

“tell me why you travel with these dwarves.”

“Why, I like them.”

He scoffs “they are scum, pigs , thieves.” He growls at you , circling you.

“Oi princess , this is your daddy?” You ask legolas who refuses to meet your eye.

“ all I can say is, at least thorin actually loves me and he’s not even my real dad.” Thranduils jaw clenched so hard that he probably could bite your head off.

“We are NOT talking about my son we are talking a bout you.”

“ okay listen here you self obsessed prick, I don’t give a shit about what you want, so cut the shit and get to the point.”

“ I want you to get my the gems of starlight,Thorin won’t expect it from you, I’ll let you all go.”

You feel bad for legolas his dad is soulless, makes him do everything while , he sits on his throne , acting like Gaston.

“No, I am not doing that to my friends, If you wasnt such an asshole and helped Thorin when Azog attacked them he probably would’ve given them to you. But you didn’t. So you suck”

Thranduils faces fled with red , he was angry he whipped his head to towards you.

“Get her to her cell now, legolas.”

“Just saying who risks their own sons life on a forest that clearly can’t be saved,”

“My sons well being doesn’t concern you. Human.”

“You clearly haven’t got love with son. You need to get yourself a girl mat-“

you are interrupted by a slap in the face.

“Well that was a girly move, who slaps , go punch me instead.”

Legolas pulls you out of the rooms quickly, not allowing things to worsen, walking you towards the cells.

“You shouldn’t have done that.”

“Why?”

He stops and looks at you,” because he will probably execute your friends.”

“Doubt it , he wants them gems , then he needs someone to kill the dragon.” You speak carefully walking down the stairs.

He hummed in response.

After you walked into your cell,you turned and smiled at him. You knew he wasn’t as mean as he portrayed himself as.

“Uh sorry for making fun of your trousers ,” you whispered so thorin didn’t hear , he would skin him.

He smiled lightly “sorry my Ada slapped you.”

“It was a bitch move not going to lie. “ you reach up to my face that still stung, You grin.

“I have no doubt you are going to escape.” He whispers.

“Yes sir. Stay safe princess,savvy?”

———————————————————

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhh” you let out , as the water in the river splashed you hard in the face.

“Why is this so fun, yet we are still being hunted.” You throw up arms like you are on a ride in a theme park, until an arrow flies at yodu and almost hits you.

You turn to see legolas , you wave to him. He just keeps running after you and the dwarves , saying our butts , see he was a good dude.

Because of you distracting legolas , he couldn’t see an orc going to hit Tauriel. She got punched square in the nose , falling into legolas , whodidn’t see it coming and fell in the water.

For elves being graceful, that wasn’t ,but fortunately he landing in the water right near you. You reach in the water and some how pull him up so he’s holding onto the barrel. You lean back so it doesn’t tip his way. Still does. He’s stuck in the water with you. You offer him a smile.

“How was your fall?” You ask him.

“Into the water ? Amazing.” He replies grunting.

‘No falling from heaven”

“Oh.” He blushes

[femmeharringrove]

co-parenting hc:

a few days after niki is born, billy carries her up and does that thing from the lion king opening scene (i hope you know which one i’m talking about bc idk how to describe it tbh sorry HAHA)

the lion king is one of my favorite movies ever and it's definitely niki's and she cried extra hard when mufassa died but so did steve so it's okay

but!!! billy absolutely would. he's not really aware that he's become a dad yet - it's steve's baby, he's just helping out. but he's so full of love and pride for this tiny human being with the biggest eyes and all this silky dark hair and he just gets excited about it. and it eventually leads to him reenacting the lion king scene and making steve absolutely yell at him because there's definitely this period of time in which steve is like "if she even looks uncomfortable with you i'll kill a bitch" and it's arguably at its worst those first few days, where she's new and he's sort of afraid he could lose her at any given moment.

and like, he trusts billy. he does. but he walks into the nursery and sees niki garbling away far above billy's head and he flips his shit faster than billy can think. he's rushing over and plucking his baby from the other boy all "see if i ever let you hold her again" glaring daggers while bouncing nikita gently in his arms. and billy sort of feels guilty because he saw the panic on steve's face and steve's supposed to be resting, he doesn't need to be giving the other man stress. so he does his best to apologize, makes steve cookies amd brings him tea. and yeah, steve forgives or whatever.

but he stays true to his threat and doesn't let billy hold nikita again.

until night comes and he wakes up and hears her crying down the hall. he drags himself out from under the warm covers and trudges his way to the nursery, but billy beats him there. so he instead leans against the doorway and watches as billy hargrove, the scariest-looking guy he knows with his tattoos and his snarls and his aggressive stance at all times, cradle this baby against his chest like she's the most important treasure in the world, face soft with a fondness that touches steve's heart.

"you're okay, baby girl," he croons quietly, shifting his weight back and forth as he rocks her. "you're alright. billy's got you. not uncle billy, i don't like how that sounds, but, uh... billabong. your dad might not like the bong part but that's because he's boring." nikita coos back at him, and billy chuckles. "yeah, i know. but he loves you an awful lot. you're one lucky chick, princess."

"i'll have you know i think billabong is my new favorite nickname for you," steve announces quietly, pushing off the doorframe and moving over to billy's side to peer down at the sleepy baby. his sleepy baby, he reminds himself, which has his stomach doing somersaults and his heart fluttering about.

his baby. all safe and snug in billy's hold.

billy looks up at him almost hesitantly. "you still mad about earlier?" he whispers, and steve chuckles softly.

"no. just give me a warning next time, deal?"

"you are so going to be one of those super worrying parents, i know it," billy announces, before whining softly in protest as steve omce again scoops nikita out of his arms, sticking his tongue out at the other before carrying her to the rocking chair in the corner.

[moonlightwinterdxxix]

Here again with a story idea 😂 A day where all the brothers have plans for to go out but there's sudden expected construction work outside their house so they literally can't leave?!? (Let's assume the Matsu parents didn't think their NEETS really had anything to do outdoors that day so they didn't bother to informing them about it haha) Maybe either a hilarious series of escape events or forced family bonding time? 😂

Ah, @yisongye Here it is!! 😂😂 I hope you enjoy my interpretation of this very interesting 2020 experience 🤣🤣🤣

~~~

The bedroom door slid open and slammed against the wall, and he screamed out, “Hey, guys! Guess what!”

Karamatsu raised his chin from the hand mirror, smirking. “Yes, my dear older brother Osomatsu? What might you have upon you as to call for your excitement?”

“There’s this really big gamble that’s gonna happen in Pachinko today from a visitor!” Osomatsu informed, a pair of fists rocking in his exhilaration. “And here’s the big deal: she’s a chick! A very pretty one too! I have no idea what she would want as a penalty aside from money but I’m dead-set on challenging her!” Osomatsu flushed, sultry in a green fantasy. “Ooh man, oh boy, I’m not just gonna give her a run on her money! I’m gonna challenge her into having s** with me!” He laughed maniacally, a predator’s villainous cackle.

Todomatsu scoffed in amusement, rolling his eyes. “Well, try as hard as you want. You’ll never succeed—you’ll be a virgin NEET forever.” He angled his phone, checking himself in the selfie feature of his camera. “On the other hand, there’s a very nice girl that Atsushi informed me will come to the mixer. I’m planning on going out to buy myself a nice new jacket later so I can look nicer come Friday. There is a sale at the mall, after all, so I wouldn’t want to miss it.”

“Can that beat my luck though?” Choromatsu boasted, popping the collar of his green shirt. “I managed to get VIP passes to Nyaa-chan’s concert. So all of you might be hopeful, but I’m meeting my cat idol in a few hours. So weep in your misery, everyone. Your Choromatsu is going forth into another world.”

“Heh,” Karamatsu retorted, narrowing a perpetually theatrical gaze. “Might I remind you first, my brother. Fap none of the dazzling women that might catch your eye, no? Set a good example to all of your brothers, non?”

With his smile wilting, Choromatsu sputtered as his face went rosy. “Wh-Wh—You shut the hell up, Shittymatsu! I know stuff, you moron!”

“Heh! Good for you, brother! For my luck shines upon me like it came from heaven itself!” Karamatsu flashed them his teeth, touching an eyebrow with two fingers. “You see, my brother, my day too flows with the passionate love from Akatsuka-sensei himself! Today I have been welcomed passage into the core of Akatsuka Ward itself, and I am to meet with a lady of whom I blind date for us was set! Hm, I thank Chibita for his kind heart, how could I have known that he would know such a precious soul—BOEHH!”

Ichimatsu slammed the back of Karamatsu’s head with an unplugged iron, and Karamatsu tumbled down onto the floor. “I bet your sorry ass that you’ll be meeting up with a dishwasher, you piece of crap.”

Jyushimatsu hollered out, “As fun as meeting with girls sounds nice, me and Ichi-nii decided to go to Sealand instead! There’s this annual dolphin show that happens every so often, and after attending it once I decided to invite him to the next one! I spent my entire allowance on getting us front-row tickets, so he has a nice experience when watching the show! The dolphins are always trained so well, once I had a dream of wanting to be one too.”

Ichimatsu grinned slightly, amused. “Hm, and after that I’ll be taking Jyushimatsu to the cat shelter. I’ve made an appointment to adopt one of the cats there—Mom and Dad already let me. She’s a very young one, about two months old, found beside a river where she almost drowned. I felt bad for her and decided to keep her so she doesn’t drown herself again. Her name’s Kawa, and she’s a plain white one. I hope she likes it here at the household with me.”

“Awwww~” the collective chorus of his brothers cooed lovingly, and Ichimatsu flushed bright pink and turned away with his hands smashed to his ears.

“Shut up! Stop shedding attention to my shitty life!” Ichimatsu exclaimed miserably.

“Either way, it seems that all of us have plans for today,” Choromatsu laughed, over from his former humiliation as he shrugged his backpack on entirely. “Anyway I need to go now. The arena could get pretty crowded if I came in much later than twelve.”

Osomatsu darted his gaze to the clock to Choromatsu then back again. “But it’s eight-thirty.”

“The earlier the better.” Choromatsu lifted his shoulders, chuckling. “Perhaps I can eat lunch while waiting too. Can’t watch a concert with an empty stomach. We need energy for screaming at the top of our lungs.”

“As if you don’t do that everyday already,” Osomatsu murmured, but remained unheard.

To Choromatsu, “Yeah, I agree,” Todomatsu said, standing up from the couch and patting his pants. “I’d better get to the mall early before it gets too crowded. I mean, sales are still sales, aren’t they? I don’t wanna be stuck in a traffic of people before I see something pretty.” He directed himself towards the cabinet and rummaged through the pockets of one of his hoodies, grabbing his wallet and stashing it into his current pants. “Yep. Imma go for now. See you all later?”

“Yeah, sure!” Jyushimatsu exclaimed, waving. “Later! Have fun!”

“Kiss Reika for me, okay, Fappymatsu?” Osomatsu derided, the curves of his features smug.

Choromatsu scoffed in reply as Todomatsu tittered, and then the bedroom door shut as Choromatsu and Todomatsu exited.

A minute passed.

And then...

“EEEHHH???!!!”

The rest of the Matsuno household were already out the bedroom and down the stairs, sliding into sudden halts as they saw Choromatsu and Todomatsu frozen in front of their door. They were both with mouths so rounded that their jaws were on the floor, their eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets. Their fingers were spread out from their hands at their sides, legs parted.

“Totty? What’s wrong?” But then all the other four were soon to realize it, and with matching, elongated yells all six were better classified with the term ‘identical’ as they all sported the same gawking, disbelieved expressions.

In front of their front door, the ground was a literal swimming pool of wet cement. Across that, there were careless-of-them construction workers with complete top-volume cranes and drillers, the workers saluting each other and bearing wide blueprints as long as a man was tall. This occupied the front porch all the way to their gate, nearly tore down completely, now granting the brothers a perfect view of Matsuyo and Matsuzo as they stared at their own sons, a pair of shopping bags dangling from their mother’s arms.

“Wh...” The first with a voice managing to come out his lips, Choromatsu averted his gaze to their parents. “Mom?! What in bloody hell is this?!”

“Ah, that!” Matsuyo laughed, unbothered in the slightest by the unexpected construction. “It’s just a bit of construction, my NEETs! I didn’t think I needed to tell you since you can handle yourselves, but never mind that! Don’t worry! It’ll only be about three days until you can go outside the house again.”

“Three days?!” Osomatsu exclaimed, face contorting in horror. “But that sexy-chick gambler will leave the city in three days!”

After shooting his brother a pointed look, Karamatsu yelled out the more proper response to their mother’s statement, “How are we supposed to leave the house?! And how are you two getting back in?!”

“Ah, don’t worry about us,” Matsuzo said, chuckling lightheartedly. “We booked a stay at the hotel about a week ago because we knew about this. Plus we bought a ton of groceries last week, so the fridge was practically an entire factory of sushi and takoyaki. I’m still surprised that there was only about a shelf left of it before we left the house three hours ago.”

“Th-That was our storage?!” Todomatsu sputtered. “Our food?!”

“Gee, I wonder where all of it went,” Ichimatsu sarcastically drawled, maliciously digging a dagger-sharp gaze against Jyushimatsu, who had gone from pale to red in a matter of seconds through the transition of realization to shame.

“No, we can’t survive this!” Osomatsu protested, gesturing wildly at the commotion lining each space of their front. “Mom! Dad! This is worse than suicide! No, we need to get out of this house! You can’t expect us to stay locked in here the entire three days, do you?! We’re your sons! You know that!”

“And we’re your parents,” Matsuyo retorted, her glare making Osomatsu and his brothers all shrink. “And you know well enough that we hate it when you have no consciences. This is punishment for illegally performing on the streets a month ago just to get money for a fish sale for Totoko’s sake! Grow up! Cod, you’re all a bunch of oversized children. You’re lucky we still gave you a storage of takoyaki.” Turning her nose up, she said, “Let’s go, Matsuzo-dear. We have that specialized screening on that one movie, right?”

“Of course, darling,” Matsuzo said devilishly, internally guffawing at his son’s anxieties. “Shall we?” He extended his arm.

“My pleasure.”

All six began yelling in unison as their parents began walking away, striding off with the pride of victory and the blessing of their lack of child tomfoolery. The brothers all tumbled down defeatedly on the floor, groaning in exasperation. It was Jyushimatsu who remained standing, mind calculative as his pupils dilated and his mouth was covered by a hand. Then...

“I think I can make that jump.”

“Ah, I see you wanna die early,” Todomatsu chortled groggily, unimpressed. “Ichimatsu-niisan, take notes. Your medal’s been snatched.”

“No!” Jyushimatsu contradicted. “I think I can make that jump! Then when I do, I’ll get all of you a ladder or something so you can get across.”

“Sure, I believe you,” Osomatsu said casually, pouting. “You’re the same guy who can turn into a living Jyushimatsu virus. If you can jump that gorge of death then go for it.”

“Idiots, it won’t work,” Choromatsu finalized, crossing his arms. “He won’t make it. Trust me.”

~~~

“Or not. Of course. I rest my case.”

Preparing himself, Jyushimatsu bent his legs.

“On three, Jyushimatsu,” Ichimatsu announced. “One...two...three!”

Jyushimatsu bolted, and with the speed of a fictional being he raced across the entire room until his feet were no longer on the ground, and he was hovering in the air, his shadow overlapping gray as his form paralleled the top of their doorframe. He was only by the first half of the entire cement pool when gravity played its part and tugged him downwards.

With his arms up, Jyushimatsu yelled out a stainless “BOEHBAA!!”, only stopping when a cross-crossed surface dug into his butt and he was pulled back into the house.

And dropped on the floor with a thud, tilting his head towards Todomatsu and the butterfly net he had in his hands. “Thanks, Totty.”

“I told you it won’t work,” Choromatsu grouched.

“Work or not, where was this butterfly net from?” Todomatsu questioned, scratching his head in confusion.

Jyushimatsu said, “I also got it from Dayon’s stomach.”

Todomatsu immediately panicked, dropping the net and struggling for the closest sink.

“Aha! I have a new plan!” Karamatsu extolled, spreading his arms wide. “My brothers, this plan of mine is guaranteed to entrance our grand exit! Be amazed, my brothers! We shall be able to access our hopes and dreams on finding the romance, enjoyment, and entertainment that our lives have waited for! My brothers, join me!” He began spinning around dramatically, a hand sailing to his back pocket for a rain of rose petals that he sprayed over the floor. “Grab a pen, and wonderful stationary. We are writing letters.”

Everyone stared at him dumbfounded, except for Ichimatsu, who bluntly said, “Kill me now.”

Minutes later, all six of them were gathered around the living room table, color-coded papers assigned to each brother. At the center of the table was a pack of markers, as well as some glitters none of them (but Karamatsu, apparently) knew they even had. At the head of the table, Karamatsu smirked at them, a finger-gun connected to his jawline as his sunglasses hid his dancing eyes. “Now, pick up a pen,” he instructed.

They all did, grabbing the marker colored with the hue of the sibling closest to them. Karamatsu picked last, raising his pink marker. “Step two, revisit your talents in mastery. Perfect, swooping calligraphy, as a dazzling prince such as us possesses.”

“Bro, I failed art class because of calligraphy,” Osomatsu deadpanned.

“Now,” Karamatsu pronounced as if no one had spoken, “Take the tip of your pen to the page. Then with the watery softness of a fountain, draw the letter ‘I’.”

Though hesitant, everyone followed.

“Good, my brothers. Next, add a space. Then, the letter ‘L’.”

They obeyed.

“Brothers, the letter ‘O’.”

They complied.

“The letter ‘V—”

“Karamatsu-niisan, what’s the message you’re making us write?” Choromatsu asked bluntly.

“Um...” Karamatsu made a heart with his hands, smiling boldly, “It will say, ‘I love you, dear cement! Please let us pass through your jinxes, allow us passage because you reciprocate my feelings to you!’ Oh, brother, the ground will harden almost immediately because of passion! I can see her heart beating from our kindness! Oh, brother, my brother, it shall make her weep tears of rock that would melt into a river of the soul! I see it, brother! It shall work, brother!” He was dancing in his reverie, nearly crying. “Oh, brother, my brother, sweet brother—BOEH!”

He collapsed on the ground, and Ichimatsu dropped his fist. “How about, ‘Brother, shut the eff up’.”

“Ugh, this sucks!” Todomatsu whined, tossing his paper away. “You’re all stupid and useless! Now I’m never gonna be able to look attractive enough for the new girl.” He buried his head in his arms on the table. “It’s hopeless for me. I need to be stuck with a bunch of ‘overgrown children’ until Atsushi sweeps her off her feet.”

“No.” Osomatsu stood up, all serious. Everyone looked at him. “There’s still hope. I think there’s one more thing we can do before we can say that we failed.”

Choromatsu lackadaisically suggested, “Request the construction workers for a way across?”

“Even better.” Osomatsu straightened his body, chin up, spine vertical. “Everyone. Off to the roof.”

Silence (...)...

“...eh?”

It was even louder on the roof than outside, because the entire view was there to present itself. The machines were huge, matted with soil and cement, some of the yellow on the bodies faded or whitened. Five of the six of them watched the entire thing with fearful anticipation, the giants in front of their house like dragons hovering over a field of lava. Whatever plan this Osomatsu-niisan of theirs had, it had better be worth it. Because so far, it looked like death was going to be the option here if it weren’t success.

“Boys,” Osomatsu announced, hands on his waist. “It’s time. Jyushimatsu, come here.”

Gulping, Jyushimatsu didn’t protest as he allowed himself to be led by his oldest brother, scarily close to the edge of the roof. Sweat ran down the sides of his face, his legs trembling in his discomfort. But he stayed there with his hands at his sides, staring straight and down towards the valley of Tartarus below.

“Karamatsu, come here,” Osomatsu instructed, and with the same worrisome posture Karamatsu stepped next to his eldest and fifth-born brother. “Karamatsu, go over Jyushimatsu’s shoulders.”

Karamatsu sputtered, and Choromatsu let out a “NO!” louder than the entire construction company combined.

But Choromatsu was ignored as Karamatsu timidly climbed onto Jyushimatsu’s back, and rested his thighs over Jyushimatsu’s shoulders. Both of them were perspired and horrified, already awaiting doom before a signal can even be clarified. Jyushimatsu clasped Karamatsu’s legs like it was giving him reassurance, but the threat of failure was still too strong for that.

“Ichimatsu, you next!” Osomatsu called out, and Ichimatsu greenly approached the building tower with his chin dipped and his eyes sullen. Internally, he was mouthing his last will and testament.

But he climbed nonetheless onto Karamatsu’s shoulders.

“Okay, my turn.” Osomatsu climbed onto Ichimatsu’s shoulders, and the weight began tugging down on Jyushimatsu as a wobble began to wrack their brother building. Hands grabbed legs, butts nestled tightly against napes, and lips went pressed as three of them stifled the screams that were growing in their throats.

“Choromatsu! You’re up!”

“This is dangerous, you idiot eldest!” Choromatsu reprimanded, arms wide for emphasis. “No more kidding—you’re literally trying to kill us!”

“Wouldn’t you die for Nyaa-chan?” Osomatsu inquired calmly.

Choromatsu was up over Osomatsu’s shoulders ten seconds later.

“Finally! Totty!”

On top of the tower, Todomatsu shook harshly as he grabbed the sides of Choromatsu’s head for dear life, legs intertwined over Choromatsu’s chest. Actually, most of them were like that. The only exception was the oldest brother, as determined as an eagle, staring straight through the obstacles separating him from making out with a beautiful gambling girl.

“Jyushimatsu, on three, run back, and then jump.”

“We’re gonna die,” Ichimatsu rasped with a plastic smile.

“Yup,” Karamatsu agreed in a tiny voice.

“On three, Jyushimatsu,” Osomatsu repeated, fiercer, and Jyushimatsu stepped back, all his brothers doing the same with the connections binding them in that formation. Jyushimatsu’s legs were shuddering. The pores on his skin were leaking.

“One...two...THREE!!!”

Eyes shut, Jyushimatsu made his run and jumped.

A few seconds later, at the other side of the gate, there were six bodies lying on the streets they’ve cracked, car horns roaring angrily in the traffic they caused.

~~~

Matsuyo tapped her feet. “I don’t think I need to scold you anymore. You know very well what you’ve done, right?” She crossed her arms, tilted her chin. “And because of that, there won’t be any more takoyaki. Not just because you absolutely don’t deserve it anymore, but because we can’t afford it.”

“Eh? Why not?” Osomatsu asked, then whimpered when he tried to move his head a little. With a full body cast matching those of his brothers’, there was no twitching a pinkie nor a strand of hair on the hospital beds.

“Not only because I have six sons confined with full body casts following surgery,” Matsuyo said madly, “but because of the damage! Not only did you break almost every bone in your body but you broke the road itself! There’s gonna be so much construction in front of our house now and guess what! We are the ones who need to pay for it!”

“Are we that fat?” Karamatsu sobbed.

“Think about what you did, you NEETs,” Matsuzo moaned, massaging his temples. “This didn’t just ruin our day with all these expenses. But your day too. Didn’t you all have anything better to do?” With that, Matsuzo and Matsuyo left the room, shutting the door behind them.

When they were completely gone, Jyushimatsu whimpered, “So...No dolphin show?”

“No cat...?” Ichimatsu followed up miserably.

“No clothes...?” Todomatsu wept.

“No Nyaa-chan...?!” Choromatsu cried.

“No date?!” Karamatsu tearfully yelled.

“No sexy-as-hell gambling babe?” Osomatsu whispered.

They all went quiet.

Then together, they all cried as one.

[oingos-bitch]

Another JoJo Mall Fanfic™ -- Rainforest Café (Part 1)

Part 5, Part 4 and Part 2 Spoilers!

"Y-YOU!  YOU'RE  THE  ONE  WHO  STOLE  MY  LUGGAGE!"

Giorno  gulped.  The  short  boy  stalked  over  to  him,  glaring  daggers.  

"I  haven't  forgotten  about  you,  I  hope  you're  ready  to  pay  me  back."  

Echoes'  summoning  was  stopped  by  a  hand  on  his  shoulder.

"Koichi,  dude,  are  you  alright?"

"Yeah,  Okuyasu,  I'm  fine."  He  trembled  in  anger.  "Unless  you  wanna  help  me  put  this  blond  son  of  a  bitch  in  his  place."

"Ohhh."

A  bass-boosted  fart  could  be  heard  as  a  blue  figure  appeared.  

"Why  didn't  ya  tell  me  sooner?  Whose  ass  are  we  gonna  kick  first?!"  Okuyasu cracked  his  knuckles.

"That  blond  bastard,  who  else?"

"Uhmm...Which  one?"  He  whispered.

"Huh?"

It  was  then  that  Koichi  noticed  the  much,  much  taller -- 'And  scarier!' -- blond  male  sitting  across  from  Giorno.  And  he  did  not  look  amused.

"Are  you  done  yet,  piccolino?"

"Wha- what?"

Caesar  sighed.  "I  would  just  like  to  get  my  order  without  any  trouble,  if  that's  not  too  much  to  ask.  However,"  his  green  eyes  narrowed.

"If  it's  trouble  you're  looking  for,  then  I'll  be  glad  to  indulge  you."

His  chair  fell  over  as  he  stood  up.  Maintaining  his  glare,  he  spread  his  arms  as  a  large  bubble  formed  between  them.  Anticipating a  fight,  the  two  teenagers  defensively  posed, shouting  their  stand  names.  Caesar was  just  about  to  strike  before  Deus  Ex  Josuke  appeared.

"Guys,  as  much  as  I  would  love  to  help  right  now,  there's  people  here. . ."

Koichi's  blood  ran  cold.  He  had  the  sense  to  immediately  call  back  Echoes  and  nervously  regain  his  composure,  straightening  his  pose.  Okuyasu,  however,  did  not.

"So  what??  Everyone  should  see  this  asshat  get  a  well-deserved  beatdown!"  He  growled.

"Okuyasu,  no."  Josuke  pulled  his  best  friend  aside  and  leaned  into  him.

"I  know  you  mean  well,  but  we're  probably  gonna  get  fired -- and  I  don't  wanna  make  my  great-gramps  sad!"  Josuke  slightly  teared  up at  the  thought.

Okuyasu's  face  flushed  in  embarrassment.  

"I  don't  wanna,  either!  I-I'm  so  sorry,  Josuke!"

He  began  to  sob  on  the  spot.  

"I-I'll  do  better  next  time!"

"It's  alright,  man,  just  calm  down  a  little."  Steak-hair  patted  his  back.

Everyone  within  a   ten-foot  radius  stared  wide-eyed  at  the  scene.  Even  passerby  stopped  for  a  few  good  minutes!  Josuke  slowly  got  up  and  let  go  of  Okuyasu,  facing  the  crowd.  He  knelt  down  and  waved  his  hands  vigorously.

"Aaaaand,  SCENE!  Uh,  we  hope  everyone  liked  it!"  

Crickets.

He  smiled  from  ear -to-ear,  sweat  beading  down  his  temple.  A  lone  clap  sounded  from  the  middle  of  the  restaurant.  A  few  more  claps  were  soon  drowned  out  by  diners  resuming  their  meals  and  their  conversations.  Josuke  let  out  a  relieved  sigh.

He  looked  around  to  see  if  anyone  else  was  staring -- 'Nope!' -- then  proceeding  to  step  towards  Caesar,  looking  him  square  in  the  eye.

"Next  time  you  mess  with  my  friends,  you  may  not  be  so  lucky."

Caesar  smirked  and  returned  his  icy  stare.

"That  doesn't  sound  like  much  of  a  threat,  coming  from  someone  like  you."

"What's  that  supposed  to  mean?"

Caesar  looked  him  up  and  down.  "Look  at  yourself. . .A  teenage  delinquent,  working  at  the  only  'high-paying'  job  that'll  accept  you,  picking  fights  with  those  obviously  more  experienced  than  you."

"You  don't  know  how  many  fights  I've  been  in!"

"Hm,  no,  but  with  that  attitude,  I  can  guess."

"Wanna  find  out?"  Josuke  grinned.

Caesar  cocked  his  head  to  the  side,  the  boy  seemed  familiar,  but  he  just  couldn't  put  his  finger  on  it --

"Yoo-Hoo!  Caesarino!~"

Caesar  groaned  and  turned  around.

"Hello,  JoJo -- DIO  MIO,  JOSEPH,  WHAT  THE  FUCK ARE  YOU  WEARING?!"

"It's  my  old  outfit! I  needed  it  for  my  job  and  it  still  fits  perfectly!"  He  laughed  heartily.

His  friend  buried  his  face  in  his  hands.  Joseph  took  this  as  a  sign  to  flex  in  front  of  him.

"Whaddaya  think?~"

Caesar  pushed  him  away.  "Awful,  awful,  everything's  awful.  If  you're gonna  dress  in  drag,  you  should  at  least  do  it  right."

"HEY,  that's  what  Jolyne  always  tells  me!"

"And  she's  correct.  Ugh,  JoJo,  you  could  have  at  least  shaved  your  beard."

"But  I  think  my  beard  makes  me  sexy. . ."  He  pouted.

"It  does,  but  that's  beside  the  point --"  Caesar  froze.

No,  absolutely  not,  this  was  the  last  thing  he  needed  today.  The  day  had  started  off  so  badly  already,  he  couldn't  have  Joseph  knowing  his  secret,  too!  It  would  all  be  too  much!

Thankfully,  Joseph  broke  the  silence  quickly.  Grinning,  he  posed  some  more.

"Sexy,  eh?  You  really  think  so?~"

Caesar  tried  his  hardest  to  sound  annoyed.  "If  you  say  so,  JoJo."

"Ah,  but  you're  the  one  who  said  it.~  So,  d'ya  really  think  so?"

The  Italian  pulled  his  face  away  from  his  hands  to  get  a  look  at  Joseph.  He  didn't  really  need  to  look  at  him  for  so  long  to  see  that  he  was  handsome,  but he  really  needed  to  save  his  skin  right  now.  So  he  eyed  Joseph  from  different  angles:  profile,  front,  three-quarters  view,  even  worm's  eye  view!  

This  went  on  for  longer  than  expected,  and  Joseph  began  to  whine.

"C'mon,  you  already  got  a  good  look,  just  tell  me  already!"

Begrudgingly,  Caesar  moved  his  eyes  away.  

"I  guess  so."

"Really?!"  Joseph  beamed.

He  nodded.  "I  mean,  I  think  Suzi --"

Inwardly,  he  groaned.  He  hated  to  think  it,  he  hated  how  it  sounds,  and  most  of  all  he  hated  to  say  it,  but  he  couldn't  risk  raising  Joseph's  suspicions.  Or  worse,  risking  their  friendship.

"-- I  really  think  Suzi  thinks  so."

For  a  moment,  Joseph  seemed  surprised -- and  a  bit  disappointed?  No,  must've  been  Caesar's  imagination.  He  rubbed  at  his  neck  and  shot  Caesar  his  signature  grin.

"Haha,  well,  thanks!  I  hope  she  thinks  so!"

He  placed  an  arm  around  him.  Caesar  jumped  lightly  at  the  contact.  He  knew  it  was  friendly,  something  he  was  used  to,  yet  he  couldn't  help  but  feel  so  wrong  after  what  just  happened.  It  wasn't  fair  to  think  about  having  a  chance  with  his  best  friend  when  he  already  had  a  life  to  live,  a  wife  and  a  kid,  and  a  grandkid,  for  crying  out  loud!  

And  he  had. . . Well,  nothing.  Any  chance  he  had  before  was  snatched  away  so  abruptly.  When  that  bright  light  enveloped  him  and  he  found  himself  laying  on  the  Earth's  soil  again,  he  was  ecstatic!  He  expected  to  find  everyone  else  in  the  same  situation,  waiting  to  reconnect.  Embarrassingly,  the  first  person  he  thought  of  was  Joseph.

Oh,  Joseph.  That  lovable,  goofy  bastard  had  no  idea  just  how  much  he  missed  him.  He  had  planned  everything  out -- how  he'd  introduce  himself,  how  he'd  explain  his  chance  at  a  new  life,  how  he'd  spill  his  heart  out  to  him  and  say  what  he  never  got  a  chance  to  say,  and,  hopefully,  how  he'd  grin  and  say  he  felt  the  same  way.  And  it'd  all  be  uphill  from  there.

However,  he  did  not  plan  to  run  into  Lisa  Lisa  first.  And  he  did  not  plan  to  sit  down  and  catch  up  with  her  over  tea.  And  he  did  not  expect  her  to  be  the  one  to  catch  him  up  on  what  had  happened  while  he  was  gone.  

And  he  certainly  did  not  expect  Joseph  to  be  married  and  have  a  kid.

The  deep  ache  in  his   gut  was  incomparable  to  the  pain  he  endured  before  his  death,  and  it  still  haunted  him  whenever  that  damned  memory  was  brought  up.

Much  like  now.

Caesar  smoothly  moved  Joseph's  arm  back  to  his  side.  Before  he  could  dwell  on  the  thought  any  longer,  he  changed  the  subject.

"So,  what  brings  you  here?"

"OH!  I  just  wanted  to  see  my  son!"

"Your son?. . .I  thought  you  had  a  daughter. . ."

Joseph  smiled  sheepishly.  "Uh,  yeah,  about  that. . .Let's  just  say,  I  don't  think  Suzi'll  ever  trust  me  the  same  again. . ."

Caesar's  eyes  widened.  Inappropriately  enough,  his  heart  fluttered.  Maybe  he'd  have  a  chance?

'No!  He  doesn't  need  his  marriage  damaged  any  further!'

While  he  was  still  deep  in  thought,  Joseph  brought  over  a  familiar  angry  teen.

"Ta-Daaaa!  This  is  my  darling  baby  boy!"

Caesar  did  a  double  take.  Oh,  he  couldn't  be  serious --

"T-this  is  your  son?!"

"You  bet!  Doesn't  he  look  just  like  me?"  He  brought  the  poor  boy's  face  against  his  cheek.

"A  chip  off  the  ol'  block!"

"Dad, stop  it."  Josuke  averted  his  eyes.

"Awwww,  but  it's  true!  Isn't  it,  Caesarino --"

He  scanned  the  room,  searching  for  him. "Caesar?"

He  found  him  by  the  aquarium,  making  his  way  to  the  bar.

"Oi,  Caesar!  Don't  you  wanna  say  hi  to  Josuke?"

Caesar  reluctantly  turned  around.  "Maybe  some  other  time,  JoJo.  My  lunch  break  is  almost  over,  and  I'm  still  waiting  on  my  order."

"Oh,  the  pink  girl  and  blond  boy  took  it."

"Huh?"

"The  pink-haired  girl  and  the  blond  boy,  they  took  your  food."  Repeated  the  elf-eared  bartender.

"Oh,  thank  you.  Where'd  they. . go. .?"  

The  bartender  pointed  to  the  west  of  the  mall.  

"Ah,  grazie."  He  made  his  way  there.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Trish  had gasped  once  Caesar  stood  up,  ready  to  fight,  but  soon  lost  interest  once  Josuke  showed  up  and  started  speaking.

"So  boring."

She  and  Giorno  sat  silently  the  entire  time.  There  wasn't  much  to  talk  about,  and  she  didn't  recognize  anyone  else  (yet),  so  she  passed  the  time  counting  down  the  minutes.

She  had  attempted  to  ask  Giorno  about  why  the  midget  had  a  vendetta  against  him,  but  he  just  responded  with  an  "I  don't  want  to  speak  about  it."

'Tch.  You're  no  fun.'

Then  Joseph  appeared  and  she  giggled.  It  was  so  much  fun  to  see  her  usually  stoic  co-worker  get  so  flustered  by  the  old  man,  and  it  was  amusing  for  a  while.

That  is,  until  he  didn't  make  a  move.

She  spent  the  rest  of  the  time  reading  over  the  specials  pamphlet.  Luckily,  she  soon  heard  a  small  "Excuse  me,  Ma'am."

"Hm?"

A  tiny,  tall-haired  boy  anxiously  held  up  a  stack  of  To-Go  boxes.  

"H-Here's  your  order."

"Oh!  Thank  you."

He  hurriedly  mumbled  and  speed-walked  over  to  the  waiter  from  earlier.  Shrugging,  she  and  Giorno  stood  up  to  leave.  Once  they  realized  Caesar  would  be  a  while,  they  exchanged  glances  and  walked  out  of  the  place.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Caesar  found  them  sitting  on  the  fountain,  digging  into  their  food.  They  nonchalantly  looked  up.

"Sorry,  we  just  couldn't  wait  any  longer."

"It's  fine.  Sorry  I  took  so  long."

Trish  smiled.  "Even  with  how  long  you  took,  you  still  couldn't  flirt  with  him  good  enough."

". .Shut  up.  Let's  go  get  Suzi's  wings."

[gaamagirl565]

Matters of the heart Ep 5

Matters of the heart Episode 5 Love is blind {OPENING CREDITS} {cut to morning in Old Corona; a rooster crow is heard and pans to Varian working in his lab; in the background we see Isaiah poking his head around the corner} Isaiah: heh..gotta do this right..2 minutes and I’ll come back in… {He starts sneaking over to the door making sure not to alert his father} Ruddiger: *spots him and chitters alarmed* Varian: *turns around* Isaiah! Just what do you think you’re doing? Isaiah: I was just...ya know it’s...kinda stuffy in here sooo.. {Varian gives a dad glare} Isaiah: Okay! Okay! Fine! You caught me… I was trying to go outside… Varian: Isaiah we’ve been over this! Isaiah: I know but- Varian: No! You’re still injured! I mean for pete’s sake you’re still wearing bandages! You can’t just go roughhousing outside like you always do! Isaiah: I’m not gonna do that! I swear! Varian: Ya know I wish I could trust you not to but what you did was reckless enough! I’m not taking any chances! Isaiah: ughh!.... {He looks at Ruddiger} Isaiah: hmph! Tattle tail… Varian: No he’s a good boy… {Isaiah walks over to the window and looks out at the other kids playing} Isaiah: please? Just for a little bit? Varian: *sigh* no Isaiah i’m sorry… Isaiah: but- Quirin: I don’t know what’s going on here but i’d listen to your dad Isaiah… Isaiah: Grandpa! {Isaiah runs over to hug him and Quirin lifts him, tossing him in the air} Quirin: haha! There’s my boy! Now, what’s the trouble? Isaiah: I really wanna play outside but Dad says I can’t. Varian: Not yet Isaiah… you just got over a fever… Quirin: sorry Isaiah, but your Dad is right. Isaiah: What? Varian: What? I mean….yeah… Isaiah: Graaanndpaaa you’re supposed to be on my side!

{Both Varian and Quirin chuckle; yelling is heard outside} Quirin: Now what on earth? {They all go to the door and people are rushing to the main road} Varian: What’s going on? Villager: I don’t know! Apparently, there are a lot of horses coming our way! {Quirin and Varian look at each other} Varian: Isaiah take Ruddiger and go to your room! Lock the door and don’t come out until I say so! {With fear in his eye Isaiah nods grabbing ruddiger and rushing up the stairs; Quirin had his sword at the ready and Varian grabs his alchemy bag; cut to Both making their way through the crowd and to the front where a man stands in front of the crowd} Varian: A...Caravan? Quirin: phew… Stoica: Hello...My name is Stoica… Quirin: And how may I help you, travelers? Joseph: by sending them away if you ask me Varian: *rolls eyes* Seriously, is there anything about you that is likable? Joseph: oh shut it… Quirin: ahem...please let him speak. Stoica: My people have been on the road for a long time. We wish to set up in Corona for a time before moving on. We are willing to pay for food and supplies as well. If you’ll have us. Quirin: hmm...I see no issue with this… Joseph: Eh-wha-Quirin!? Are you kidding!? We don’t know these people! Varian: oh for the love of....Joseph shut up! My father has made the call. Leave them be. Quirin: If you desire there is a field we are currently not using. You may set up camp there. Stoica: You are too kind. Thank you for your hospitality. {He gives the caravan the signal to move when Joseph’s eyes widen} Joseph: Wait! {Everyone stops and Joseph walks over to a wagon and pulls a woman from it} Woman: AH! Stoica: LET HER GO! *unsheaths dagger* Joseph: You see!? This one is wearing a cloak! In the middle of a sunny day! Awful suspicious! And Stoica here dares to pull a knife on me! Quirin: you grabbed a woman from her wagon Joseph! Of course, he’s going to do that! Joseph: That still doesn’t explain the cloak! I bet she’s a criminal...hiding her face. We’ll soon see. Woman: No! I beg you! Stoica: Leave my sister be! You’ll harm her! {Joseph grips the hood} Woman: Please no! Varian: ENOUGH! {Varian runs out and stands between Joseph and the woman} Varian: Are you normally this stupid or is today a special occasion? Joseph: What are you saying, traitor? Varian: If you had taken a minute to look at her you’d know by now! She’s albino! Joseph:..A what? {varian rolls his eyes} Varian: Seriously am I the only one that reads? An albino. A rare skin condition that causes a lack of pigment. That’s skin color, eyes, and hair. The sun can physically hurt them! You take off that cloak and you’ll be causing her great pain. {they stare each other down} Quirin:...Stand down, Joseph… Joseph:...*spits* this town is going to the bloody dogs… {he leaves} Varian: Let me help you m’lady… *he helps her back onto the wagon* Woman: thank you...how may I repay you? Varian: I’d settle for your name {Stoica narrows his eyes} Woman:...Zapada...and I’m sure you’ve met my brother Stoica… Varian: I’m Varian… Zapada: well Mr.Varian...hopefully we meet again. {Stoica signals the caravan to move.} Varian: Yeah...so do I… {cut to later in the Village; Isaiah is looking excitedly at everything} Isaiah: Never thought I’d miss the outdoors so much! Oh, look! The stinky fish merchant! Merchant: Hey! Varian: The queen spent 18 years in a tower you only spent 2 weeks inside! Isaiah: Felt like 18 years… {Varian sees Zapada walking and reading} Varian: *gasp*...hey uh Isaiah...here’s some coins go explore a bit I have...errands to run… Isaiah:...free money and time to myself? I’m gone… {he takes the money and leaves; Varian takes a deep breath and goes to talk to her} Varian:...M’lady..no..uhh..hey ther-NO!...ZA-PA-DA hows it going? That’s stupid… ok Relax...ahem..Hello, my little snow an- {He’s hit in the face by the baker’s door; Zapada jumps and turns around with a yelp} Baker: huh? Oh. Watch it, Varian!... Zapada: *gasps and drops her book running over* Mr.Varian! Are you alright!? What on earth was his problem? You have done nothing to him! Varian: well hows that for an entrance? {They stare at one another for a second before Zapada hands him a cloth} Zapada: y-your nose is bleeding...I...I must go!... Varian: Hey wait! {She runs off} Varian: smooth Varian...Smooth… {Cut to Isaiah walking around the Caravan camp} Isaiah: Wow...this place is amazing...so much cool stuff… {As he’s walking he stops and sees an animal trader feeding his animals} Isaiah: Oh cool! Look at all of these! No way! Is that an alligator from the new world!? Trader: Indeed it is! I’ve gotten many offers on her. Isaiah: WWOOOWW! It’s so big and scaly! Just like in my books! {he walks around looking at all the creatures but stops at a wooden box} Isaiah: Hmm? {he goes to open the box} Trader: Ah! Boy, I wouldn’t-... {A golden cobra with red accents slides out hissing with its folds up} Trader: ah! Okay boy...just back away slowly… Isaiah: A Saporian Jeweled Cobra… Trader: Back away child! Isaiah: why are you so freaked out? Just relax...if you respect the snake...he’ll respect you… {he cautiously puts out a hand; the cobra sniffs it then slithers up his arm and around his shoulders} Isaiah: hehe! Hey! That-haha! That tickles!...you’re not evil, you’re a little noodle…

Trader: *practically shaking* Isaiah:...i have 5 gold pieces will that be enough? Trader: child, as far as I am aware he’s yours… Isaiah: Really!? Thanks! Do you hear that bud? Hmm..what to call you...I know..Draki...my serpent. {he pets his cobra; cut to late at night at Varians house; Varian and Quirin sit at the table drinking tea whilst Isaiah plays with Draki} Quirin: ...is it a good idea to have a cobra as a pet? Varian: *head in hands* is it a good idea to have a raccoon as a pet? Quirin: Fair point. Ruddiger: *chitters angrily* Varian: I’m just kidding bud… Quirin: Something wrong son? Varian: well...you know when you see someone and...you...can’t help but get curious about them? Quirin: mmhmm...are we talking about Stoica’s sister? *smirk* Varian:...there’s something about her...she’s so shy and...almost mysterious...I want to get to know her...have a least one conversation! But anytime we make eye contact she flinches or runs away! Quirin: *sips tea* well… the way I see it..she might be afraid...and I’m sure Joseph didn’t help...and anytime you’ve talked its been in a crowded public place. Varian: Then what am I supposed to do? Quirin: it’s dark now...she’s probably taken off her cloak. She’s probably more comfortable now that people are in their houses for the night...go..talk to her in a setting that’s comfortable for her. {Varian smiles at his dad and hugs him} Varian: Thanks dad… Quirin: you got this..and don’t worry i’ll watch uh..serpent boy here… {pan to Varian walking through the Caravan camp} Varian: her wagon had an emblem on it...of a hawk… {he looks around and spots it} Varian: there… {he walks up taking a deep breath and knocks on the door; after a few seconds Zapada answers and gasps; the moonlight shines off her white hair and she is in full view without her cloak} Zapada: M-Mr.Varian what are you…? Varian: I know it’s late and I’m sorry for this afternoon but I was wondering since the sun is down maybe you’d like to go on a stroll? Zapada:...me? Wit...with you? Alone? Varian: y-you’re not afraid are you? Zapada: well I… Varian: you don’t have to be afraid...not of me...I promise… {he takes her hand; she’s hesitant at first but nods and grabs her shawl before leaving; cut to later they’re walking in the orchard laughing} Zapada: so...you made a machine that almost literally blew away the entire expo? Varian: yeah not exactly the best idea in the world...so tell me about you… what’s your story? Zapada: well… Varian: well? Zapada: I was born into the Caravan...after our father Patrin died my brother Stoica took over. You know what people think of us...and with my...condition it doesn’t help...some see me as a curse...sometimes I think they’re right.. Varian: what? Zapada: My brother works so hard to protect me… I feel like a burden sometimes...my Caravan cares so deeply for me but...I don’t feel as if..I deserve it… Varian: But you’re so kind. And generous, and beautiful an- Zapada: what? Varian: You’re beautiful {Begin song “give yourself a chance”} {varian} You say people hate then so be it You say you’re not beautiful well I don’t see it People might judge at first glance But who cares what they think Give yourself a chance. How do I describe you to make you see All the things you do to me Your hair, your eyes, make my heart want to sing and dance It has me wondering… Is this romance? Even when the world looks down on you Look back at them with your eyes of rosey hue Stand up to them and tell them that despite your flaws You are perfect and no one can say anything because You made the choice to give Yourself a chance {end song} {Zapada cups his face with her hand and embraces him; Varian returns the embrace; they walk off into the orchard together; Later it shows them lying by a tree with the sun beginning to rise} Varian: Hey...Zapada? Zapada: hmm? Varian: I know the sunlight hurts your eyes...but have you ever watched the sunrise before? Zapada: I cannot say I’ve had the pleasure… {Varian takes off his goggles} Varian: put these on and look to the east… {Zapada puts them on and looks; she gasps and stares in wonder} Zapada: Varian...it is beautiful… Varian: yeah...the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen… {she looks back at him and smiles} Zapada: thank you, Varian… {Cut to the HQ of the cult; Cassandra is tied up with vines and screaming as magic surges through her} Cult leader: soon...the power will be coursing through her veins and take hold of her conscious. She’ll be strong enough to plan our next move after all these years… Noremoth: several if I’m not mistaken m’lady...but must the process of infusion be so..eck..hostile? {The cult leader glares at him} Noremoth: I’m only saying Zhan tiri’s power can only hold her so long before her true conscious breaks through every now and again. She is only a vessel we cannot completely erase...her true self. Cult leader: that maybe, however...that alchemist has something we need that will complete her transformation. When they destroyed the moonstone a singular shard was left. And it was placed in this alchemist’s care. Noremoth: so? Cult leader: ugh so naive...If we get the stone shard the infusion will be stabilized and Zhan tiri will become anew in a new body.  And with the device that we are building combined with our sweet vessel’s power, all of the seven kingdoms will kneel before us. Noremoth: ooohhh I like that plan m’lady… Cult leader: of course you do Noremoth… Noremoth: so then what is our next move? Cult leader: simple… {she takes out a newspaper page from Corona; it has a picture of Isaiah and reads “Boy destroys marketplace} Cult leader: ..Ransom.. {She crushes the paper} {END CREDITS}

[o-holynight]

Charismatic As Hell And Cute To Boot | All You Have To Do Is Fall In Love AU

Other Parts: 1 2 3 4 5 Author: Michaela - @o-holynight​ Pairing: Joe Mazzello / OFC Rating: T Word Count: 2.9k POV: Michaela Warnings: swearing Summary: After a full day of spending time with each other, neither Joe nor Michaela wants the date to end; So it doesn’t.

Masterlist found here! Series Summary: Best friends and college roommates Ben, Joe, and Gwil, find themselves tangled up with a group of girls who bring out the best (and worst) in them. Series Warnings: drinking, swearing Authors’ Note: Stories can stand alone, but it’s much better when read all together! Not everything is always in the same tense, or same point of view/perspective.

After hours of gushing to Sarah and working up the courage to ask her to ask Ben to ask Joe if he would even be interesting in having my number—I finally opened his contact. Having only a low quality Facebook tagged photo as the sole image to be his contact picture, it would have to do. Though he did look absolutely adorable in it; it was borderline attacking.

I stared at his name for a while longer, debating on whether or not I should even contact him. He was flirting, wasn’t he? Ben did say he liked me a whole lot...for being willing to shit his brains out later...but that’s besides the point. I thought of texting him and asking how he was doing, but maybe that was just adding salt to the wound? Ah, fuck it.

I triple checked my finger placement to make sure that I clicked “Message” and not, god forbid, call or FaceTime him, and started typing.

Hey Joe! How are you feeling? It’s Michaela, by the way.

Send. I really should have found something to preoccupy my mind while waiting for his response, But I didn’t think that far in advance. It seemed that Joe made me act without overthinking first. Oh boy this could be dangerous. After what seemed like an eternity but was probably in reality only 15 long agonizing minutes, I saw the three dots typing.

I clutched my phone to my chest, covering my mouth in fear of making an embarrassing middle schooler squeal. I made myself wait at least a full minute before looking back at my screen, not wanting to seem too eager.

I’m better, now that I’m talking to you. (: God, sorry, was that too cliche? I meant to say, still pretty terrible I feel like shit. And thanks for spelling your name out, I was wondering about that one. (:

He uses so many smiley faces, I can’t help but smile myself. I really think I must be in a dream sequence. And if my alarm goes off any second I will never forgive it.

Oh my god I’m SO SORRY!! Again, I really didn’t know and I would’ve totally made you something else. I really, really wish you didn’t have to suffer on my behalf. Haha yeah, it’s not too hard. Michael with an A.

I flipped around on my stomach, wedging my pillow under my chest, trying to find a comfortable position for a hopefully lengthy conversation.

Alrighty Michael A, that’s officially gonna be what you are in my contacts. And no, I’m not suffering...anymore.

We continued talking for hours on end. Lots of get-to-know-you questions ripped straight from questionnaires off the first three or so pages of Google. I’m not sure how we agreed upon this but the two of us were officially going on a date the very next day. Joe brought up this really good smoothie place in the middle of central campus, and I would have happily watched paint dry with the guy. So of course I agreed. We settled on lunchtime, which means there were only about 8 hours left until I could see him again. Which was one of the only reasons I was okay when he didn’t respond to my final text message, signaling that he had probably fallen asleep, like any self respecting human would have done at 4:00am.

The next morning I was flitting around the apartment like a madman at 10:00 am. “Guys what do I wear!! I want to be cute, but I can’t wear a dress we’ll be walking all around campus and my thighs will chafe and that’s not cute for anyone—“

Sarah grabs me by the shoulders. “Listen, just wear leggings and a t-shirt. It’s what you wore last time! It’s what he fell for you in.”

I blushed when she mentioned him falling for me. “Yeah but if I wear leggings and a t-shirt again, he will think all I wear is leggings and a t-shirt.”

“That is all you wear…” Ella piped up from the hallway, as she appeared in my room. “Besides your gay as hell Hawaiian shirt collection. But maybe save that for the second date, eh?”

“Okay FINE, but I’m going long sleeved this time. It’s a little breezy out there.” I said, checking my weather app for the third time this morning. I figured I’d be cold walking around, as well as drinking a smoothie.

At exactly one minute past twelve, I got a text saying that Joe was outside. My heart began its palpitations and I didn’t know if it would ever stop.

“Wish me luck!” I whispered as I passed my roommates, on my way to answer the door.

“Good luck! Get fucked!” they said in response, and I shot them a dagger-like glare before opening the door to greet Joe.

He was wearing jeans and also sporting a long sleeved t-shirt. It made him look so cozy that I could snuggle right up to him, but that would be a bit much. Or so I thought. He pulled me into a hug in the doorway, and I could have melted. His arms were so strong as they wrapped around my torso, and my face nestled tightly against his broad chest. “Hey! Long time no see, Michael A.” he said as he pulled away from the hug. I barely wanted to release my arms from around him, but I did.

“Back atcha...Joey.” I said, trying to come up with a similar nickname on the spot.

He cringed. “Oof, no one’s called me that in years.” he said with a fond smile.

We left the apartment after a couple of whoops and whistles of encouragement from Sarah. “Sorry about her. I think she’s just really excited.”

“Oh I don’t mind. Sarah’s great.” Joe chuckled. “Are you really excited?”

“I am.” I said, looking up at him, to find him staring up at me, smiling sweetly. It made me blush and return my gaze to the ground.

The two of us walked around in a comfortable silence for a while until we reached the smoothie shop. Joe opened the door for me, and followed behind. As we were standing in line, we poked fun at the silly words that they tried to pass off as smoothie names. I ordered a Kowabunga, some tropical coconut mango thing, and Joe snickered as he ordered the SOB, strawberry, orange, banana smoothie. “Man they just keep getting weirder huh.” He insisted on paying for both of our smoothies, though I tried to hand him a $5 bill, he snuck it back into my waistband where I kept my phone. “That...wasn’t supposed to be indicative of anything, that’s just...it’s where you had your money—“

“Hey, it’s fine Joey, don’t worry about it.” I said laughing at his flusteredness, grabbing his arm and walking out of the smoothie shop.

Once out through the doors, I dropped my hold on his arm, but he quickly slinked his hand down to grab ahold of mine, lacing our fingers together.

“This okay?” he asked, rubbing his thumb against the back of my hand. It sent tingles up my arm and directly to my heart. But all I could do was nod my head rapidly and smile.

We walked and talked for a while, sipping on our smoothies. “Joe,” I said draining the last of my smoothie before tossing it into a nearby trash can. “I have a confession.”

“Yeah?” he asked, sounding a bit nervous. “Confess away.”

“I’m allergic to fruit.” I said, looking up at him and pursing my lips.

“What!? And you let me bring you to a smoothie shop. You’re worse than me with the cheese! Why are you just telling me this now?” He asked, hitting me in the side with both of our hands clasped together.

“Because I wanted to finish my smoothie before you made me get rid of it. It’s nothing too bad. It’s just like when you eat too much pineapple and your mouth gets really sore, except it’s all fruit all the time.” I said, used to my spiel.

“I can’t say that’s ever happened to me, guess I gotta eat more pineapple and feel the burn.” he said, sipping on his last bit of smoothie, and reaching awkwardly towards a trash can, unwilling to let go of my hand.

We talked for a bit more, walking past buildings that we both had classes in, telling class horror stories, making sure to let each other know which professors to never sign up for a class with. I learned that Joe is a film major, and hopes to be a director one day.

“I think you’re quite suited to being in front of the camera too.”

“Really? You think so?”

“Yeah. You’re charismatic as hell, and cute to boot.” I said knocking my hip into his.

He smiled at the ground, rubbing at his neck nervously. “Aw shucks, you’re makin’ me blush now.”

“Good.” I said, trying to be a little more forward than I usually am. I really liked this guy, and I desperately needed not to blow it this time.

“I like film though. I really do. Learning how to make a scene come out just right. Seeing it go from a small viewfinder to the big screen. The editing process. It’s all great. But I’m really into all the old cameras and shit. My dad got me this camcorder with a whole bunch of tapes for by birthday last year and I’ve just been fuckin around with that lately. Something about the old method just really adds something special. Oh...sorry—I uh, swear a lot.” He said, going on and on about his passions, as I studied his face. When he talked about what made him happy, I could see a sparkle in his eye that made him ten times more attractive than he already was.

“Oh, it’s no problem at all. I love a good potty mouth.” I smirked. “So what do you do in your free time then?”

He shoved his free hand in his jeans pocket before speaking. “Well, like I said I’m into all that old film, so I really enjoy photography too. Digital and film. There’s a great dark room on campus that you can sign up for time in, it’s really cool. The process smells like rotting asshole but the results are worth it I like to think.”

“Oh I’m familiar. I took a photography class in high school. I have a film camera lying around my house somewhere back home. I should bring it back with me next time I go.” I said heart soaring that we had something in common. “Do you work?”

“Oh yeah. I work at Dick’s. Sporting Goods. Not a strip club or anything.” he joked.

“I know what Dick’s is.” I whispered, before giggling. “Yeah Sarah goes there all the time.”

“Really? Don’t think I’ve ever seen her in before.”

“Well, she says apparently they have the best sports bras in town? Maybe you need to spend a little more time in the lingerie section of your sporting goods store and you’ll find her.”

We walked aimlessly for a little while longer. Once we had lapped the entire campus twice without realizing, we decided maybe we should be heading back. But we both knew that neither of us wanted to leave.

As we were driving back to my place in his truck, he had his hand resting on my knee, and it felt like the most natural thing in the world.

We walked extremely slowly up to my residence, and lingered in the hallway outside my door. I was holding loosely onto his thumb as I leaned back against the doorframe, just wanting some form of contact, as we had barely let go of each other the whole day.

“Um, so they just released a new show on Netflix…” Joe started.

“Wanna come in and watch it?” I asked immediately, knowing nothing about the show, the genre, the storyline, the cast. But again, I’d watch paint dry just to spend more time with him.

“Well sheesh, buy me a drink first why don’t ya, I’m not that easy.” he snickered. “Yeah sure great let’s do it.” Joe said, smiling that I had gone for his bait.

I unlocked the door and he walked in, looking around for a second, taking in all the attempts at home decor that the three of us could muster. He nodded in approval.

“Well since you’re in already guess you won’t be needing that drink after all.”

“Hey, it’s 5:00 somewhere, and that somewhere is here!” he said, glancing down at his watch, noticing it was almost half past 5.

“Any drink in particular you fancy? Preferably something I could make with a limited stock of ingredients.”

“Rum and coke is fine.” Joe smiled, taking a tentative seat on the big comfy chair that faced the TV.

I whipped it up quickly, making one for myself as well. More coke than rum though, for me. “Sorry we don’t have any limes left. Ben used them all last week. It’s a simple drink, cause I’m a simple girl. It’s not the Four Seasons or anything.”

“Hey, Ben works there, you know. He should know a thing or two about the importance of proper garnishes. I’m only kidding. It’s great, thank you.”

I paused for a half a second wondering if there was room for two on the seat he was sitting on. He must’ve picked up on this, because he wiggled over slightly and patted the cushion beside him. I smiled and sat down eagerly. The cushion was very soft and worn, and it dipped down in the center, making both of us slide towards each other, thighs touching. It was nice.

I leaned forward to grab the remote off of the coffee table, and when I leaned back into the chair, Joe’s arm was situated around the back. He placed his hand on my shoulder, squeezing gently, and I leaned into his chest, practically laying on top of him.

At that moment, Sarah and Ella heard the familiar tone of Netflix being turned on, and emerged from their rooms.

“Michaela!! Why didn’t you tell us you were back, tell us all about your day with—Joe!!” Sarah started, pausing when she saw Joe’s head poke up from the back of the chair, my head peeking out shortly after.

“Nice place you got, McDonald. Where’d you get all this top notch decor, Target?” Joe teased, his hand moving down from my shoulder to resting right above my waist. I bit my lip to try and prevent any further reaction, though I wanted to scream giddily.

“As a matter of fact yes, what the fuck is wrong with that.” Sarah said crossing her arms in front of her.

“Seems a little cliche for a place full of white girls.”

“Okay, mister liquor bottle, you’ve got a lotta balls coming in here like that.” Sarah chuckled as she sat on the arm of the adjacent sofa. That’s when she noticed that his arm was wrapped tightly around my waist.

“I see you two are getting comfortable with each other, I’ll leave you to it… Ella let's go watch something in here.” Sarah said, pulling Ella away from the two of us so we could enjoy the rest of our date.

The night went on, and the conversation never dulled. Whatever series was rolling on Netflix was more of a background noise for the ramblings between the two of us sitting on the big comfy chair. Over the hours, Joe had gradually slid down in his seat, head resting on the back cushion. I had my legs draped over his, and his fingers were tracing mindlessly over the sliver of skin exposed at the ankle of my leggings. It all felt so natural, like we had known each other for years. Except everything was new. Every fact I learned about the man made me fall a little deeper for him. We had so much in common despite living such different childhoods.

We lost all track of time, and didn’t even notice when Netflix timed out on the ‘Are you still watching?’ screen. I don’t even know who fell asleep first, but I woke up in the middle of the night to a room barely illuminated by the dark light of the TV’s screensaver. The blanket that usually laid across the back of the chair was wrapped around Joe and I, and his arm was slung over my middle, gripping me tightly, holding me close. I rubbed my eyes and adjusted my position, pulling the blanket further up on my body. Joe stirred at my movements and gave a little stretch.

“Don’t worry about moving, ‘wanna stay like this.” I whispered softly, moving in even closer, laying my head onto his chest and wrapping my arms around his torso.

His hand came to rest in my hair, stroking it softly before falling back asleep. The sound of his breath evening out and the slowing of his heart beat lulled me back to sleep as well. I could definitely get used to this.

--------------

@a-night-at-the-0pera @crazylittlethingcalledobsession @lelifesaver @redspecialty @rrrogahtaylahhhh

[spn-rewrites]

01x07 (part 1)

Season One Episode Seven: Hook Man

Word Count: 2.8k

Summary: after searching for days for John Winchester, the group has no luck. upon stumbling across an article about a mysterious, death they go check it out. luckily for Dean, they’re surrounded by hot sorority girls. 

part 2 part 3

A/N: hey guys! i’m trying out a new format of breaking the episodes into parts because they’re so long so hope you like it! my main blog is still cracked-kingshawn but i made a side blog specifically for my SPN rewrites so that you guys can follow this and my shawn stuff isn’t clogging your dash! i tagged everyone that’s been being tagged in the previous parts, so if you’re confused that could be why!! haha feel free to message me if you have any questions or want to be tagged in future part

“Your half-calf vanilla latte is getting cold over here, Francis,” Dean said as Sam headed back to the cafe table that the three of you were sat at. Dean was hunched over the laptop while you were tapping your nails against the plastic table impatiently. There has yet to be a case pop up, so in the meantime, it’s been quiet conversations and fast food diners across the country. There has yet to be a conversation about anything the shapeshifter had said.

“Shut up,” Sam mumbled as he sat down on the chair.

“So, anything?” Dean asked, his eyes still not moving from the laptop screen in front of him.

“I had them check the FBI missing person database and no “John Does” fitting that description,” Sam groaned. He sounded frustrated and he had every right to be. The three of you had been searching for John for months now and there hasn’t been a single clue to where he could be. “I even ran his plates for traffic violations.”

“I’m telling you, I don’t think dad wants to be found,” Dean said the last thing Sam wanted to hear. “Check this out,” he said, shoving he computer over to Sam to show him an article that you barely caught a glance at before the screen turned away from you. Dean motioned his head for you to sit closer to Sam. You hesitated, but did anyway to read the article. “News item out of Plains Courier, Ankeny, Iowa. Only about 100 miles from here,” Dean said.

“Mutilated body was found near the victim’s car parked on 9-mile road.” Sam stopped reading but Dean egged him to keep going. “Authorities are unable to provide a realistic description of the killer. The sole eyewitness, whose name has been withheld, is quoted saying the attacker was invisible.” Sam stopped now, looking up at Dean. Your eyes kept scanning the article but there was nothing else of value.

“It could be interesting,” Dean suggested. Since it was so close, it would make sense to just pop in and see what was going on. It wasn’t like you had anything better going on, anyway.

“It could be nothing,” Sam pushed back. “One freaked out witness who didn’t see anything. Doesn’t mean it’s the invisible man,” Sam shook his head and pushed the laptop back in front of Dean. You sat back in your chair and listened as the two went back and forth about it.

“What if it is? Dad would check it out,” Dean replied. The only answer that would make Sam do almost anything as if it meant finding John Winchester. Dean paid the bill for the two coffees that were ordered and one water before packing up all of your belongings and getting back into the Impala for the next 100 miles.

Ankeny, Iowa was a small town with seemingly nothing going on besides this invisible murder. Dean didn’t give any clues as to where you three were headed in this town but the smoke would have been coming out of Sam’s ears if this were a cartoon when he saw the frat house that you pulled up to. “Oh my god, why are we here?” Sam whispered to Dean as you stepped around garbage littered in the street.

There were a few boys working on a beaten up car and dirty furniture in the grass. “The victim lived here,” Dean explained. “Nice wheels,” Dean complimented as a boy rolled out from under the car. None of the boys answered him, so Dean continued on. “We’re your fraternity brothers from Ohio,” he said and glanced back at you. “And this is my girlfriend, Y/N.” The frat boys looked Sam and Dean up and down, trying to determine if they were telling the truth or not before looking at you. Their eyes lingered a little longer on your chest than you were comfortable with.

“We’re new in town, transfers. We’re looking for a place to stay,” Sam continued after the boys still remained silent. After a beat, they were more than welcoming and invited you three into the frat house. You always wondered what it looked like inside one of these. If it was as messy as some of the movies show or as preppy and stuck up like the others. This one was right in the middle.

Dean knocked on one of the doors labeled Purple Man and a man, who was painting himself purple, turned around and looked at the three of you. “Who are you?” He asked, stopping midpoint.

“We’re your new roommates,” Dean announced, throwing his hands up. The Purple Man seemed to be fairly accepting of this and shrugged his shoulders as he handed Dean the paint brush.

“Do me a favor? Get my back?” He asked as he turned around and looked at himself in the mirror. “Big game today,” he explained. You pursed out your lips as you looked around the room. It wasn’t clean but it also wasn’t horribly dirty. It was definitely not a place you wanted to sleep, though. At least motel rooms get cleaned.

“He’s the artist,” Dean pointed to Sam, handing him the paintbrush. “The things he can do with a brush,” he said. The Purple Man seemed content and was waiting for Sam to paint. Sam took a deep breath, sending his brother a glare and began to paint.

“So, who’s the girl?” The Purple Man asked, eyeing you up in the mirror. Sam cleared his throat and stepped in front of you, blocking his view from you in the reflection.

“Y/N, my girl,” Dean replied quickly, keeping the story consistent. The Purple Man held up his hands in defense. Like an apology for eyeing up his ‘girl’. Dean sat down on the chair in front of the window and keeping consistent, you sat down next to him. He picked up a magazine that had the guy’s name written on the top. Murphey. “So, Murph, is it true?” Dean asked.

“Is what true?” Murphey asked, glancing at Dean but his main focus was making sure that Sam wasn’t messing up his important game day body paint.

“We heard one of the guys here got killed last week,” he said nonchalantly. Almost as if it were no big deal that a young adult boy got murdered.

Murphey’s face fell and his expression made it clear that it was, in fact, a big deal. “Yeah.”

“What happened?” Sam asked, looking at Murphey in the mirror as he painted.

“They’re saying some psycho with a knife, maybe a drifter passing through. Rich was a good guy,” Murphey said, his pain evident in his voice.

“Rich was with somebody?” Sam asked, digging for more details.

“Not just somebody - Lori Sorenson,” Murphey said it and looked at Sam as if we were supposed to automatically know who Lori Sorenson was. Sam shook his head as Dean flipped through the magazine he was holding.

“Who’s Lori Sorenson?” Dean asked as he looked up from his reading. “Oh, you missed a spot. On his back,” he said as he pointed to a bare spot on Murphey’s back. Sam sent Dean another glare and you smacked his bicep gently.

“Lori’s a freshman. She’s a local and super hot. Get this - she’s a reverend’s daughter,” Murphey explained like he was in awe of this girl. Dean nodded and closed the magazine, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees.

“You wouldn’t happen to know which church, would you?” Dean asked, hopeful to find this girl and ask her exactly what she saw and why she thinks he was invisible.

Murphey thankfully pointed you in the right direction and upon entering the church, there was a sermon going on. The pews were filled and you entered as quietly as possible, Dean following you. “Our hearts go out to the family of the young man who perished, and my personal prayers and thanks go out, as well, because I believe he died trying to protect my daughter. And now as time heals all our wounds, we should reflect on what this tragedy means to us as a church….” The reverend stopped as Sam slammed the door shut behind him. You sent him daggers and he shrugged his shoulders as if it were an accident. “As a community, and as a family. The loss of a young person is particularly tragic,” the reverend went on as the three of you sat down. A young woman in green, her hair tied up, had her head cranked to watch you the entire time. “A life unlived in the saddest of passings. So please, let us pray for peace, for guidance and for the power to protect our children.”

You and Sam both tilted your head down in prayer, to respect the church you were being welcomed into. You noticed Dean wasn’t praying so you elbowed him in the side. He nodded and tilted his head down as the reference read aloud a prayer.

When the sermon got released, the three of you lost the girl in green in the crowd. You decided to just wander around until you found her and when you spotted her, Sam took the opportunity to talk to her. “Are you Lori?” He asked.

“Yeah,” she said as she turned around to face the three of you.

“My name is Sam, this is my brother Dean and this is our friend, Y/N. We just transferred to the university,” Sam explained. Lori smiled at him and nodded.

“I saw you inside,” she said, keeping polite conversation although you were sure that you three looked very weird.

“We don’t want to bother you but we heard about what happened,” Sam said, a small smile played on his lap. The charming card, once again.

“We just wanted to say how sorry we were,” you added. She looked at you and then back at Sam and nodded as if she couldn’t find the words, or didn’t want to.

“I kind of know what you’re going through,” Sam admitted. “I-I saw someone…..get hurt once. Its something you don’t forget,” he stuttered on his words, choosing them carefully. Dean looked up at his younger brother but you avoided eye contact, once again the mention of Jess making your skin crawl. Before she could respond, the Reverend himself came up.

“Dad, this is Sam, Dean and Y/N.” Lori put her hand out to grab her father’s arm as she introduced us. “They’re new students,” she explained.

“Pleasure to meet you, sir,” Dean said as he stuck his hand out to shake the Reverends. “I must say, that was an inspiring sermon.”

“Thank you very much, it’s very nice to meet young people who are open to the Lord’s message,” the Reverend said.

“Listen, we’re new in town, actually,” Dean started as he put his hand on the Reverend’s back and walked him away from the situation so you and Sam could dig deeper into Lori’s side of the story. As soon as Dean left, you felt oddly uncomfortable. Ever since the shapeshifter, and lack of discussing what was said, you’ve felt weird around Sam. Like he knows you have feelings but they’re not reciprocated so he’s just ignoring them.

“Tell me, Lori, what are the police saying?” Sam asked, jumping right into the heart of it.

“Well, they don’t have a lot to go on. I think they blame me for that,” she said as the three of you began to walk around.

“What do you mean?” You asked, inserting yourself into the conversation. Lori glanced over at you.

“My story, I guess I was so scared I guess I was seeing things,” she said and stopped walking. She looked up at Sam, worry in her eyes. It looked like she was reliving the moment over and over as she talked.

“The doesn’t mean it wasn’t real,” Sam whispered, shaking his head. After all these years of hunting things, that was the one thing you knew for certain. Lori hesitated for a moment and then smiled at him. You watched as Sam smiled back at her and it felt almost like you were invisible.

“So you believe her?” Dean asked as you walked down the aisle of the library hoping to find any books or records to help you out with this case. You excused yourself from Sam and Lori’s conversation without saying a word to go find Dean, who was now sitting alone by the Impala. It was only a few short moments before Sam joined you and you were off.

“I do,” Sam said.

“I think she’s hot, too,” Dean joked, raising his eyebrows and smirking at his brother. You hit Dean’s arm from next to him and he coughed, clearing his throat from the comment.

“No, man. There’s something in her eyes,” Sam explained, ignoring his brother’s comments. “And, listen to this. She heard scratching on the roof. Found the bloody body suspended upside down over the car,” Sam told you the details of the night that you were too uncomfortable to stick around and hear for yourself. Dean stopped and held his hand out to stop Sam, too.

“Bloody body suspended? That sounds like -”

“Yeah, I know. The Hookman legend,” Sam cut Dean off and nodded his head as

if this was obvious.

“What’s the Hookman legend?” You asked, once again feeling left out but Dean looked over to you and smiled.

“It’s one of the most famous urban legends, you’ve never heard of it?” He asked and you shook your head in response. “You don’t think we’re dealing with the Hookman?” He directed his question towards Sam and he just shrugged his shoulders.

“Every urban legend has a source, a place where it all began,” Sam said, seemingly confident in his early diagnosis of the case.

“What about the scratches and the tire punctures and the invisible killer?” Dean asked, listing off things that you were assuming were inconsistent with the legend of the Hookman.

“Well, maybe the Hookman isn’t a man at all. What if it’s some kind of spirit?” Sam asked, making Dean furrow his eyebrows and scrunch up his face in thought.  He tilted his head and that’s when you knew he had an idea.

What you didn’t know, however, was that this idea was going to cost you the next few hours of your life. The librarian slammed down two cardboard boxes covered in ancient dust. She groaned as she lifted them onto the table and wiped off her skirt. “Here you go, arrest records going back to 1851,” she said.

The boys nodded and thanked her for your help and you wiped off the dust that was caked on the lids of the boxes. As she walked away, you noticed Dean staring at her butt. You coughed, gaining his attention back and he cleared his throat, opening one of the boxes. “This is how you spend four good years of your life, huh?” Dean asked, referring to Sam’s college life.

“Welcome to higher education,” Sam joked as he tackled into his own box of records. After hours of digging and finding nothing, you had nearly fallen asleep in the chair next to Dean while Sam paced around the library and trying out every single reading position there was to stay awake. “Hey, check this out,” he said, getting your attention. “1862. A preacher named Jacob Karns was arrested for murder. He was so angry over the red light district in town that one night he killed 13 prostitutes.” You got up out of your chair and walked around the shelf that Sam was standing over. “Some of the deceased were found in their beds, sheets soaked with blood. Another suspended upside down from the limbs of trees as a warning against sins of the flesh.”

Dean picked up a piece of paper from the record that Sam was looking at. “Get this - the murder weapon? Looks like the preacher lost his hand in an accident, had it replaced with a silver hook.” You were reading over Sam’s shoulder at the rest of the report and spotted the location of the murders.

“Look where all of this happened,” you said, pointing to the words printed on paper.

“9-mile road,” Dean read. You nodded and Sam scoffed, shaking his head as if this was all just a wild coincidence.

“Same place where the frat boy was killed.” Dean smiled and nodded, content with the information and most likely relieved that the search for information was finally over.

“Nice job, Dr. Venkman,” Dean said, smirking at his brother. “Let’s check it out.” Sam smiled and closed up the files as you began to clean up the ones you and Dean had sprawled across the table. You had to remind both the boys multiple times to make sure they were going in order for any future users, but they swatted you away and threw them in a mess anyway.

Tagged:  @matchamendes @stuckupstucky @sillydecoy @jessewa26 @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @liztorr1212 @icanreadbookstoo

[purplesurveys]

1099

[created by: vyvyan86]

Have you done anything really interesting lately? Not sure if it counts as interesting, but I paid for a weekend accommodation for the first time last weekend for my family. That was a cool adult thing to do, haha. I don’t even feel bad about the amount I had to pay because the room was *chef’s kiss*

What’s the latest really fun thing you’ve done? I went out of town for the first time since mid-2019 and it felt amazinggg; my family and I went to Tagaytay to celebrate my dad’s 50th birthday. The colder temperature over there was super pleasant and I loved the room we stayed in - we wanted to try something new, so we rented a condo unit for the weekend instead of booking a hotel room; the experience was as good, if not better, than a hotel. Felt homier and we had more freedom when it came to the things we were allowed to do in the unit. It also cemented my desire to have a condo as soon as possible, lol.

Have you discovered any good music lately? Not yet. I have a hard time going out of my comfort zone when it comes to music.

How about any good new television shows? Nothing yet so far, but Reply 1988 has been on my radar for quite some time. It’s just a matter of going to Netflix and clicking on the damn show so I can finally start on it.

Or perhaps some interesting books? Definitely nothing on this front.

Have you picked up a new hobby or learned a new skill? The most recent hobby I picked up was embroidering, but it’s already been a few months since I got into that. The next thing I’d like to try is baking, because I want to have the option to eat macarons anytime I want.

Has anybody ever done your makeup for you? Every time I’ve had makeup on me, it was almost always applied by someone else because I haven’t the slightest idea how to do anything other than winged eyeliner.

What is something you absolutely dislike? Clumsy drivers, like those who drive too slowly on overtaking lanes, or if someone’s blinker is to the right but they’re trying to go left.

Is there a food from your childhood you hate? I had a very narrow palate as a kid and I hated a lot of foods that I now enjoy. One of them was my grandma’s chicken curry recipe, which I didn’t learn to appreciate until I was around 13 or 14. As a kid, I thought the taste was very strange.

What makes you feel nostalgic? Photos from high school, music I listened to while growing up, and revisiting places that my family used to frequent only when I was still a kid, like malls we’ve since stopped going to.

Do you feel like having a beverage? What kind? Nah. I’ve had my coffee fix for today and I had some water before taking this survey.

What’s the funniest thing that’s happened to you lately? In our family lunch in a restaurant in Tagaytay, we happened to sit across Larry Gadon, aka a former senatorial candidate (he lost) who is notorious for spreading fake news before, during, and after his campaign, as well as being a rabid Duterte supporter. He and his wife initially had the outdoor section of the restaurant with a nice view all to themselves, so when my mom requested that we eat in the outdoor area as well I saw how annoyed he looked. I met his gaze as we were walking to our table, and I found it hilarious that he stared daggers right at me, and only me, for no good reason. And because I hate his guts, I simply returned the glare. Fuck you, man.

What’s your favorite board game, if you play any? Uh, I don’t really play any.

Do you have a garden? If so, what are you growing? Nope. My mom attempted to start one in our rooftop sometime last year and she succeeded at first; she was able to grow chilies and tomatoes for a time. She wasn’t able to maintain it though, and I believe the plants are all wilted now.

Do you own any sparkly items of clothing? I used to; I don’t think I do anymore.

What’s the most colorful accessory you own and use? Eh, I’m not too keen on the idea of having colorful accessories; I find them too flashy. For jewelry I prefer to wear silver, and for accessories like headbands, bags, etc. I prefer light colors like pastel shades, beige, or off-white.

Have you visited any national parks during the pandemic? It would be great if we had parks to begin with...

Do people throw weird stuff out to the streets where you live? Not that I’ve seen. < Yeah, same.

How do you feel about thunderstorms? Love them. Sometimes they’ll make me sad, but for the most part they put me at ease.

Do you enjoy drag artists’ work? If so, name some of your favorites. I love their work and I really admire their skills, but I don’t particularly follow any drag queen or watch RPDR.

What, right now, is the best thing in your life? The self-love and acceptance I’ve gained over the last month. Idk how I got here but I did, and I’m really proud of myself for it.

What’s a place you like to go to when you need to get away for a bit? Rooftop. Used to be my car, but I’ve since opted for a less toxic option.

Do you like apples? I hate it less than other fruits, I guess, but I generally dislike it.

Have you listened to Erasure? Nope.

Do you enjoy puns? Not really my type of humor.

How about spoonerisms? They’re hilarious when they’re unintentional, like if someone is speaking too quickly and it happens. Happens a lot to Filipinos.

If you were an adventure game character, what would be your sidekick? The main thing I’d be looking for is street smarts because I’ve got none of those.

In fiction, what sorts of characters are you most drawn to? Those with darker, brooding personalities and appear to keep a wall around themselves.

Anything exciting coming up for you in the near future? Eh not really. My 23rd birthday’s coming up but I’ve got no plans for that yet.

Have you ever had a penpal, who you exchange actual letters with? No.

Who is the nicest, sweetest person you know? I have a lot of sweet aunts.

What is a sound you recognize instantly? Wrestling themes, lol. Also the ringtones on my phone, my alarm, my dogs’ barks, and the sound of our family car once either of our parents drive up the carport.

How about a taste or a smell? Truffle, my fave.

Do you still have any toys from your childhood? Sure, I still have all of my board games from when I was a lot younger.

Are you a patient person? In some contexts, yeah. Like if I’m at a restaurant that is obviously busy and all the staff seem to look stressed, I am less likely to complain or follow up on my order.

[eclissy]

Buried Under the Aching Tree 1/2

Back when I was a baby and still writing a lot of DF stuff and my Hero OC stand in, I had a whole side story just about Ty’s sword, it’s name, what the details on it meant and so forth. But then I got tired, busy, and the whole thing felt over the top but, it’s October now. I redid it to de-stress a bit (and fill in the rest of the plot outline since I didn’t finish it seven years ago either. God of course it took me seven years to almost finish something).

Tbh, I reworked it so much that it’s more about Ash and Artix now.

Summary: Ash learns about his friend’’s sword, a relic passed through a million hands but never through a family. That and what it’s like to be possessed by a single feeling.

Accustomed to the Hero’s little giveaways, Ash grabbed the hilt of Ty’s sword before she could plunge it into the farmer’s chest.

“He’s not a thief anymore!” Ash yelled, having to dig his heels into the ground to keep Ty’s sword from getting stuck between the farmer’s ribs. Ty let go to make sure Ash wouldn’t hurt himself and the boy stumbled back, sword in hand.  

The farmer in question was shivering so hard, his skin was likely to peel itself off and all Ty was doing was smiling. No smile lines around her eyes; just this mechanical lifting of the corner of her mouth.

Turning to Ash, that grin shrank into a sheepish bit lip and raised shoulders.

“Did it look like I was going to hurt him?” Ty asked, an eye half closed in a wince as though Ash’s yelp had physically hit her. “Oopsie, I was only trying to scare him. I promise!”

Typically, if you were intending on hurting someone, scaring them came with the package.

“Ty…” Ash stood back, fixing a scolding glare he didn’t really know how to make. He tried to think about his mom giving him a hard telling to when he drank milk straight out of the bucket.

Shrugging and turning her hands over, Ty’s expression loosened into a scowl and her eyes rolled, coming to rest on the farmer.

“Don’t you remember this jackhole?” Ty kept the language clean for Ash. “He broke into your camp, took your gold, and your clothes so you couldn’t leave your tent for days!”

“I mean yeah, you didn’t need to remind me but yeah…” Ash muttered, scratching the back of his head.

Nervously, the farmer stepped towards the young man. He was half hiding behind his pitchfork which made his heavily scarred brutish face much less menacing than the first time he had met Ash.

“Funds are low this season so I’m awful sorry, I can’t give the gold back to you right now. But, you know where the farm is. After Spring comes back round, I’ll return what I stole,” He removed his hat. “Again, I’m awful sorry I did that to you and I really am trying to turn over a new leaf.”

“Honestly, I’m not angry at all. I’m glad things went right for you.” Ash said, genuinely thrilled that the thief had changed for the better. “Don’t worry about the gold.”

“Ash! Don’t let this guy off free!” Ty protested, more convinced that Warlic could drink a vat of melted wax and live than the farmer being completely reformed. “What he did was terrible! He needs to pay! When I found you, the crows were circling and it smelled like pee.“

“I know, I know!” Ash quickly cut her off. “But everything’s ok now. Look at that smile.”

The farmer smiled with all twelve of his green teeth.

“That’s a good guy!” It was okay, Ash hated going to the dentist too.

Brow creasing deeply, mirroring her scrunched grimace, Ty struggled to not break her arms crossing them so hard.

“If you say so.” Ty finally conceded, tilting her head to dodge the arrow shot at her.

For a stunned moment of silence, Ash gaped at Ty and the arrow stuck in the ground. He barely noticed the group of bandits doing the same thing.

Then, Ty began tapping her chin, examining the scruffy bandits that were slowly working their bravery back up. Brandishing some very pretty and very stolen axes and swords, the bandits were coming Ash and Ty’s way.

“Are these guys part of your old posse? Did they maybe come out here to rough you up for leaving?” Ty didn’t look at the man and see him nod. “Oh my god, you guys couldn’t have come at a better time,” She laughed, beginning to walk towards them unarmed. “When I’m done ripping your intestines out of your assholes and tying them together, they’re going straight into your mouths!”

Those bandits were shouting, half in a rage and half in true horror.

Ash didn’t approve of that wording but he was going to try helping first. Gripping Ty’s sword, Ash ran after the bandit that chickened out and was trying to get away.

“Stop!” Ash yelled, catching up to the fleeing bandit. He swung Ty’s sword and rolled on to the ground when it stayed stuck by his side. The blade had suddenly gotten incredibly heavy, squeezing Ash’s fingers white against the dirt. “Ow!”

Hearing Ash fumble, the bandit had returned, tapping his dagger on his palm.

“Huh,” He glanced towards where Ty was rearranging his fellow bandits’ faces some distance away between the trees. “We made it all the way into the woods. You think she can hear you scream over here?”

The point of the dagger flew towards Ash’s eye and gasping, Ash jumped up, lifting the sword with all of his might. It went over his head and he almost tumbled backwards from its weight but managed to keep his footing. The bandit didn’t hesitate making another stab at Ash’s belly.

Panicking, Ash blindly swung Ty’s sword and it smashed into the bandit’s rusty dagger, shattering into pieces.

“You little – AHG!” The bandit screamed, keeling over clutching his bleeding shin. Behind him, the farmer kept his pitch fork pointed at his once fellow thief.

Ash was busy staring at what was left of Ty’s beautiful sword scattered across the patchy ground to thank the farmer. He wanted to swallow the lump in his throat but it was too dry and any tiny movement made his stinging eyes hurt.

“Aw,” The bandit looked at him sympathetically. “It ain’t your fault.” Ash couldn’t hear him over the sound of footsteps coming up beside him.

“Huh,” Ty cast a wary gaze to the farmer though much softer than before. “I’m sad they passed out so quick. You doing okay here?”

“T-Ty…” His grip on the sword’s hilt shaking, Ash lifted his head to look at Ty who had noticed the shiny broken pieces of the sword her father had made for her. Her jaw hung open, hands held up in front of her chest. “I’m so--! I’m so so--!”

“Woah, Ash!” Ty clasped Ash’s shoulders, eyes all starry. “Did you break my sword? That’s so cool!”

The tears began to flow and Ty opened her mouth, shocked.

“Oh, no no no! You’re really cute when you cry!” Ty exclaimed, giving him a big hug. Ash’s tears were shooting out like bullets and Ty continued to pat his back. “Hey, you’re cuter when you’re happy so don’t worry! I’m not mad at all and this totally isn’t your fault.”

“I’ll bay de blacksmit.” Ash blubbered over Ty’s comforting, hugging her back.

“There’s already an appointment set up, I’ll just give Konnan a larger tip.”

Awkwardly, the farmer also began to pat Ash’s back. It earned him a thousand yard stare from Ty.

“Haha...I’ll go back to growing carrots.”

“Carrots? Ew,” Ty bit her tongue to keep herself from sticking it out. “No wonder you don’t have any gold.”

“Ty!” Ash exclaimed, starting to become and laugh a little at the situation.

Under Konnan’s hammer, the metal seemed to move on its own. The intricate embellishments of ivy and holly leaves that had been broken were weaving back together on the broad side of the blade. Ash stared in wonder, attributing it to magic.

Before Ash knew it, the sword was as good as new on the Smithy’s front counter.

“Don’t worry about the extra big tip. I don’t know, buy me some of Serenity’s scones tomorrow,” Konnan took off his gloves and attempted to wipe the soot off of his cheek, leaving a big streak. “I like working on your sword anyways. It makes me feel like I’m actually a master blacksmith.”

“You’re getting there fast,” Ty assured him, waiting for Ash to take his time looking at her sword before she sheathed it. “See Ash? Didn’t take any time at all.”

“That’s all thanks to the magic,” Konnan confirmed Ash’s theory. “I’m no mage but no sword can get fixed that fast. You need to tell me and Yulgar how this sword was forged. If all swords were like it…no wait, that’d put us out of a job.”

“Haha, I couldn’t let out the secret even if I tried. It’s an old antique my dad had remade,” Ty let her hand rest on the sword’s hilt. “We know a few of the stories it’s got under its belt but where it came from and who made it? Not sure and also not sure if that’s why it’s got the magic.”

“Oh well. I still would have liked to know. I’ve never seen this style of sword before,” Konnan rubbed his chin, smearing it with soot too. “And for such a well-made weapon, it has such a cutesy name. Fuukoo… Fuukoo shoes, or something,” He tapped the counter didn’t bring up the correct name. “I’ve got some other work to do so when that’s over, tell me a few of the stories.”

“Me too!” Ash jumped in, eager to hear what kind of heroic deeds pervious heroes had achieved with the enchanted sword. The young hero had only read about great swords with long histories in books. When he did see them, it was from afar with him jumping up and down in the hopes of catching a glimpse of it and its honored master pass through his village.

“No.” Ty said, flat out.

Konnan and Ash froze, though Konnan got back to moving a lot faster, evacuating the scene to busy himself by the tools in the back.

“Nah, that was a gut reaction,” Ty snaked her arm around Ash’s shoulder and lead him out of the shop. “I’ll tell you one while we walk back to my place.”

And she didn’t talk at all while they were in Falconreach. Ash tried to stammer a few things, a little flustered being hugged by the hero like that. Not to mention he had a kind of dumb grin; one that he couldn’t help make even when a few passerby definitely noticed the big ol tomato Ty was escorting out of time.

When they were on the well trekked path to the crossroads, Ty began to tell a tale.

“Long long ago, this sword fell into the hands of fledgling adventurer, who went from swinging sticks with his sister to leading a revolution in an empire wracked with civil war.” Ty started the story in a faux old lady voice to Ash’s amusement.

“The Emperor had already quashed the Empress and the Crown Prince’s rebellion. He had seemingly forgiven his wife and son for all transgressions but then, the Crown Prince died of illness. The Empress passed away of the same. Though he was grieving, the youngest son went to war before he began to suspect that his father had the Prince’s beloved brother and mother poisoned. He was, however, no war hero.”

“That adventurer was!” Ash cut in.

“And that adventurer started off strong, leading a small force of village folk against the Emperor’s men when they came to forcefully recruit them. His many string of victories brought him the Prince’s notice and he was honored with a sword from the royal treasury, a prize from a previous victory long passed. The Prince had stolen and put the weapon in better suited hands.”

Ash could picture it, the young man putting on armor that was shinier than any kind of gold or silver. He was kneeling in front of the crowned Prince on a wide grassy battlefield, knighted by the sword he would receive.

“On horseback, he drew his sword and pointed it at the sky as he charges into his first battle. An arrow strikes his horse’s leg and he skids over the dirt hard.”

The dream shattered and Ash was back on the path with Ty. She noticed his sinking glee but kept the same easy tone as she continued, holding her hands behind her back.

“That fall knocked the adventurer out and he was asleep as waves of his comrades died without his leadership. When he woke up in a panic, immediately rallying the army together, they kept dying because of his mistakes. As it seemed, the appointed champion knew his home woods best. These kinds of battles weren’t anything he’d ever prepared for before.”

Ash could picture that too. He thought of the same panic he had when Falconreach was on fire and his shouts were drowned out by the violence. Only, that hero must have had that fear magnified to a degree Ash couldn’t imagine anyone being able to think in.

“Luckily, the champion’s sister had come despite him asking her to stay behind where it was safe. She had fought beside him when the fight was on their turf and had snuck into the war camp to join him. Taking up a spear, she tied a banner to it and let the colours fly as she fought, grabbing her comrades’ attention and leading the battle to victory.”

Heart swelling, Ash was tossed back from the edge of a tragic end to the triumphant turn in the story.

“Saving the army and her brother was a story that gave the Crown Prince’s side morale. It swung the undecided to his side and the Prince decreed the two of them to be his champions. Together, they lead the armies until the army could only be led by one. That adventurer had no talent leading an army and one day, he disappeared.”

“What? Did he go back home?”

“In a sense, he did. All of a sudden, the Prince’s army was suffering losses and they had to retreat to the remaining champion’s home. They met her brother there in the flames he started. Jealous of his sister, the former champion had gone to the Emperor with all the information he needed to destroy the rebellion. He said as much when they reunited, having already killed his own parents to hurt his sister.”

As vivid as the bright sun that shone over Ash right now, the image in his head of the carnage was alight with fire.

The once bright and hopeful young boy was standing over his coughing sister. The heads of their friends and family were propped on stakes all around the village as it was demolished by fire and battle. In his gauntlets was the sword, more red than silver under the full moon.

‘You stole everything from me! I was the hero and you took it all away!’ Ash heard the boy’s voice when Ty quoted him.

“That was when his sword became heavy. Its weight pulled him down and it disappeared from under him, coming back when his sister plunged it into the back of his neck.”

She could have incapacitated him when the sword decided that she would be its new master. She could have taken him to face justice. In fact, she could have killed him so no one else would have been hurt.

Instead, she murdered him in cold blood, hooking the point under his skin, scraping it into his skull just for the sake of making him suffer. The sound of her brother’s messy death blocked out the chaos, veiling her in the only kind of joy she would ever feel again.

“After that, the rest of the battles were nothing special. What was special was how the remaining champion kept the head of her brother chained to her belt. With the sword, she mowed the Emperor’s army down with the vindictive forces who had too been enraged by the destruction of their previous lives. They were only the Crown Prince’s army in name. Once they made it to the Capital—“

The champion, alone with the Crown Prince, stormed the room where the man who ruined her life sat atop a great throne. To her horror, the Emperor stood with her sword held at his side. She found that her hands were empty and the Emperor spoke to her.

‘Do you know my story? The story of a boy with not a drop of blue blood? I stowed away on the pirate ship that destroyed the small fishing village where my family lived. Under the bloodied gold and silver was the sword I used to avenge my family. It slew hundreds of pirates, thousands of the worthless soldiers, and all of the idle nobles until the remaining bowed to me. But I wasn’t done. This sword stayed in my hands until all I knew was war. Country after country fell for no reason other than for the phantom slight I imagined they had committed against me. Even when I found a new family, they came to hate me and were taken by an enemy I couldn’t kill.”

The remaining Emperor’s Son had found out long before that his father had nothing to do with his mother and brother’s deaths. His war had been waged not for revenge but to save a country from a war mongering tyrant he loved dearly.

‘I could not raise my sword against my wife and son. I only waged war so a truly evil Emperor would not threaten the next Emperor’s reign with their shared blood. This sword could no longer be mine.’

The cursed sword reappeared in the champion’s grip, refusing to leave her hands when she tried to drop the horrid thing.

‘Promise me that when I die, you will do all that is within your power to sink the sword into the sea.’

Ash’s intense daydream ended as the silver blade rushed towards the Emperor and disappeared into his throat.

Blinded by the daylight, Ash shielded his eyes, distraught by how he had been absorbed into Ty’s story. The young hero, reminded of her presence and of their walk, staggered away from her and her cottage. In the midst of the daydream, he hadn’t noticed that they had already arrived.

“They couldn’t pry the sword out of the champion’s hands and she didn’t hesitate chopping them off. The new Emperor had it sunk in a sea that was so far away, it didn’t have a name yet,” Ty was finishing the story. “Probably would done it, promise or not. He was an honest and nice person. I’d say he would have thrown the sword away out of guilt.”

“He should have broken it!” Ash said, wiping the cold sweat from his forehead. How had he literally seen the scene in his head?

“Magic, remember? One of the reasons why the first champion started to get really good at fighting after he deserted was because of the sword,” Ty was treating the matter so nonchalantly that it was making Ash angry. “I brought it to the Smithy to fix it faster but if I had left it alone, the sword would have pieced itself back together on its own.”

And come back to Ty on its own.

“I could tell you some more stories,” Ty unsheathed the blade, holding it level. “There’s a bunch I know from before it met the first Champion and after it crawled out of the sea. This one was just one of my favorites.”

Ash shook his head, keeping his distance.

“Why would you have it? Why won’t you throw it away? That sword makes you obsessed with revenge!”

The moment that Ty took to think about her answer that was scarily short.

“I like it.” She put it simply.

Despite her behavior before; every single fight that Ash remembered how Ty had taken too far, he still couldn’t believe his ears.

“What?”

“What if after each war we have in Falconreach, Amityvale, the Sandsea, anywhere people we care about get hurt, the event ended and I was too tired to stand?” Ty asked. “What if the villains get away with it and hurt more of the people we care about? What if I let everyone in Falconreach stay hurt? What if I can’t bring them the justice they deserve? What if, what if, what if, right?” Ty tilted the blade and Ash could have sworn, the ivy and holly leaf markings swayed.

“This sword doesn’t make you obsessed with revenge. The people it chooses are already in love with revenge and it won’t let them forget it,” Ty gazed at the sword, as if at peace thanks to the idea it kept locked in her mind. “I have to make them pay.”

“That’s it,” Ash said, disgust clearing dripping from his voice. “Does saving people matter at that point? You’re in love with revenge because you want to make people suffer. Whether they did something bad or not doesn’t matter. You fight to protect the weak, to be a hero. Not to hurt people. You didn’t have to make people suffer! You do it because you like it.”

Ty lowered the sword, thinking of dropping it. Only thinking.

“You’re right, Ash. And I’m sorry,” Ty turned to him, a little less color in her cheeks. She smiled despite that. “I was just glad you can’t use the sword. And you deserve to know the reason why,” She turned to face her friend. “You’re a real hero, Ash.”

A beat passed, one where he tried to stop being mad. It was just that he was so disappointed and the heavy, foul mood grew over him like mold.

“I…Ty, I need to go.” He didn’t intend to say goodbye.

“I know.” Ty nodded, watching him walk back towards Falconreach.

Taking a detour was seriously unsafe when the sun was setting so low but Ash needed it. He didn’t think any monster would approach, hearing how heavy his stomping was.

In all honesty, he had no idea how to deal with being this kind of angry.

Ash tried comparing it with some other mishaps in the past, like when he dropped his sword on a noble’s foot and it cut the poor man. That was Ash’s own fault and he was angry at himself though.      

Perhaps it was an over exaggeration but he tried likening this to the anger that came from Falconreach being attacked yet again. Destroyed yet again. But, they were all villains. Not any of his friends.

None of Ash’s friends would make him feel this way.

“Argh,” Ash tugged at his hair, not noticing how the orange sky had gone pitch black. Only a sliver of the moon was out now. He kept walking, going nowhere near Falconreach and into parts of Surewood he didn’t recognize.

In fact, all these trees had no leaves. Kind of like in Doomwood actually.

“Since when did the grass get gray?” Ash did a bit of a hop, startled at the mist beginning to form over the forest floor as well. “I didn’t walk that far, did I?” The panic started up and Ash frantically scanned his surroundings for anything familiar or for anything out to attack him.

If this was Doomwood and not some random patch of Surewood that caught the flu, Ash figured he could take down half a zombie if he tried very hard.

In the corner of his eye, a familiar glint caught his attention and his stomach plummeted.

Blade stuck into the ground, covered in a bed of foliage was the silver sword.

Ash rushed to it, terrified at how it was out in the open. Anyone could get their hands on it and do their worst. Anyone was likely to be a necromancer, a vampire, oh gods was Drakath out here?

What about Ty?

“I can throw it away.” Ash thought out loud. An ocean couldn’t keep it trapped but it had to have taken time to escape. Ash could toss the thing into a bottomless pit, a gully, or feed it to something nasty. Then, he could go to Warlic or Artix and find a way to actually destroy the cursed sword.  

Shoulders squared in resolution, Ash trudged through the leaves. He went right up to the sword, took its gold hilt into his hand, and wrenched it from its resting place.

Blood gushed from the leaves, pulled up by the sword and splattered his shins.

Ash’s heart came to a hard stop before pounding against his ribs in sheer terror. Confused and horrified, Ash tore away at the ivy leaves, searching for anyone that could be hurt under there.

The bed was endless and the more he yanked away, the deeper it got and thorns began biting into his skin. Before he knew it, Ash had sunk into this pit, his head disappearing under the leaves.

On instinct, Ash slashed the sword through the greenery and it was as light as air. Blood pooled at his feet, draining from the vines he slashed, making the thorns glisten.

“My children were flayed,” An ivy vine wrapped around his ankle. “Who would avenge them if not I?”

“My brother accused my wife of witchcraft. She burned as I was hung,” Another voice invaded as Ash tried to cut the bindings only for his other foot to get swallowed into the gore, ankle deep. “Why was it that I had to crawl from my grave to right the wrong? Who would have avenged us otherwise?”

This was a dream. A very bad nightmare Ash was convinced he was having. He didn’t remember falling asleep but he must have and the story of that magic sword scared him so much that the thorns tearing through his armor felt real.

“A wretched King conquered my home when we showed kindness. All of my friends and family, their bones piled like trophies in the royal coffers,” A pair of hands accompanied this whisper, grabbing Ash’s hands as he attempted to remove his boot and escape. “They all had to die. All of his people. That was the only right way.”

“No!” Ash’s voice was shrill. “Let me go!” He couldn’t hear himself anymore. The couple of voices had grown to tens, to hundreds, to thousands of laughing mouths and reaching hands. The fingers that wrapped around his neck were made of steel; prosthetic limbs made for a veteran.

“Didn’t you think I had to? I had to! We have to!”

That voice was the same as the one he had imagined when Ty was telling him the story. Except, it wasn’t his imagination. The sword had long felt his mounting disappointment, and caught him in its will long before.

“Avenge their deaths.”

“For hurting me.”

“Humiliated me.”

“My future destroyed.”

Each reason was increasingly becoming frivolous; things that Ash couldn’t understand people taking lives over.

“I was the hero.” Another joined the cacophony and Ash could not escape its echo. “I wanted to be the hero. I worked so hard to be a hero. I’ve been dreaming of being a hero, a real knight for as long as I lived. She stole it from me.”

That sword fit in Ash’s hands all of a sudden. He held the sword as though it was the only thing keeping him alive. The nails digging into his lungs screamed for him to act and Ash jabbed the sword towards the source of that despicable laughter, imagining silver slicing through a neck.

“My Hero let me down.” Ash heard and it came from somewhere that was so close, it could have been inside him.

The sky was orange again, tinged with the sunset. Surewood was as green as ever and the only rotting deathly smell was stuck in the back of Ash’s nose.

Resting across his outstretched hands was his silver sword. What was left of all of the ghostly shouts was a single, wind-chime like query.

“Prithee, great champion, may I ask of you—” Ash closed his eyes and the whisper sank into his heart.

“Is revenge a science? Or is it an art?”

[evaandnonotlikewalle]

Pirates Have More Fun

His hair is thinning in the back. I never noticed that before. Odd, isn’t it, how I can wake up to that man every day for twenty-three years and not notice how his hair looks in the back? Now, he is turned away from me, and the light from the window makes the room look more sterile, if that is even possible. The hospital gown exposes his back and I can see the faint curve of his spine. I bite my nails and stare at the expanse of his shoulders and the dimples at the base of his neck where his vertebrae begin.

           “How is he doing?” a deep voice whispers from behind me. I turn around and see his ID badge flashing at me nearly as bright as his smile. I had forgotten how bright that smile was.

           “Fine. He’s just sleeping. Been doing it all morning.”

           “You shouldn’t do that,” he orders with a barely hidden smirk.

           “What?” I blurt.

           “Bite your nails. It only ruins them.”

           I pull my hand away from my face, realizing I had been talking through my fingers this whole time. My nails are now jagged and the polish is chipping away.

           “Then again,” he continues, walking toward the bed, “I told you that all the time back in the day. You didn’t listen then and it looks like my words still have yet to resonate with you.”

           “I’m afraid they haven’t. It’s a bad but permanent habit.”

           He picks up the clipboard hanging from the end of the bed and examines it. He squints at it, wrinkles gathering at the corner of his eyes.

           “The nurse came in about an hour ago and replaced his IV,” I inform him.

“I can see that, right here, actually,” he says pointing the paper with his pen.

“Of course!”

I begin to chew at my nails again and tuck my legs under me. “Of course. Of course you can,” I mumble into my hand.

He nods his head, looks at me once, and puts the chart back. “Well, his surgery is scheduled for tomorrow morning. So, the nurses will be in and out prepping him for that. As for me, I’ll come before he goes in tomorrow. Expect me around eight. Until then, have a good day.”

           He walks past, but not without gently squeezing my hand as it rests limply on the arm of the chair.

           “No need to be nervous,” he assures me with a slow grin.

He leaves and I am left with Michael breathing deeply in sleep. He doesn’t move for hours, only sighing every half hour or so. I sit and read the novel that everyone at the office had been recommending but I never got the chance to start. As I read, his soft snoring scores the action on the page and an itch begins in my feet. Soon the itch travels to my legs and finally to my scalp. I stare at his balding head, biting the insides of my cheeks to the point of bleeding. I dig my toes into the soles of my shoes and slam the book down on the ground beside me.

           I shuffle over so I can see his face and lean in close. He is still breathing heavily and living with him for twenty-three years, I know he isn’t roused from sleep easily.

“Michael, I swear, if this surgery somehow goes wrong, I might…” I chide with a whisper and stare at the ceiling. I notice a spider, black and quick, crawling toward the window. Just before it reaches the window pane it diverts and scuttles into the corner where a small web has been made.

           I sit and read until visiting hours are over. I could stay overnight and keep him company but I don’t think I could take being here anymore. The suffocating quiet of this room while he struts through the hospital halls gnaws at me and makes me squirm. I have to leave; I just have to. I kiss Michael’s balding head and sigh a goodbye. Heading for the elevator, he is suddenly there walking down the hall, tormenting me with his kind smile and cheerful hello’s to those who pass him. I stand there for a moment and just watch him in action. He spots me and stops almost immediately.  

           “Hi, there! Heading out?” he asks.

           “Yeah, appears so,” I reply, shrugging my winter-jacketed shoulders and turning my gaze slightly away, pretending as if I wasn’t staring.

           “I just have to say, you look just as you did when I left for school,” he marvels.

           Tucking my hair behind my ears, “God, I hope not. I had mascara running down my face and my hair was bigger than Dolly Parton’s.”

           He laughs, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Yeah, sorry about that, again,” he sighs.

He shakes his head slightly and smiles once again, “Well, let’s just say you look fantastic. You really do. I’m not putting you on.” He waves his hands and shakes his head fervently. He stares down at me and just grins. I almost wish he would stop. Almost.

           “Thank you.” I can’t bring my eyes to look at his face. Already I can feel the color rising in my cheeks.

           “We should catch up some time. Over coffee, maybe?”

           I can barely contain myself, my calm façade melting away onto the tile floor, “Sure. I would love that.”

           “Good. I don’t know what I would have done if you had said no,” he chuckles to himself. “We’ll arrange it after surgery, then.”

           “Sounds great. Well, good night, Sam,” I say as I fumble to grab my gloves from my pocket, unable to look away from him face, expecting him to take it back, expecting this to be some sort of dream.

           “Yeah. Good night, Marianne.” Hurriedly, he leans down and pecks my cheek. I immediately blush. If that didn’t wake me up, then surely this must be real. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

           “Good night,” I repeat loudly as I nearly run into the open elevator. I shuffle into my spot in the cramped space and peek from under my brow as the doors close. He smiles and gives a half-wave.

           When I reach the car and buckle up, I nearly forget to turn on the heat. The flushing of my face is making my sweat lightly under my coat. During the drive home, every song is either too loud or too soft, so I turn it off and drive the half hour home in silence. This time, this silence is absolute bliss; just the sound of the old engine revving away and the tires spinning over the flattened and salted snow.

I get home and check the voicemail; Mom and Dad say the kids are angels and should visit more often. I stare at the kitchen pantry for a while and roll my eyes at the abundance of not-quite-good-enough food, so I opt out of making myself a decent meal and stuff potato chips and dip into my face while I watch television. The blaring of the actor’s voices and the brightness of the screen soon give me a headache and I decide to go to bed early.

I change into my oh-so-sexy pajamas of an old sorority t-shirt and sweatpants and stagger into the bathroom, covering my eyes from the overhead lights. After teeth brushing and make-up removing, I close my eyes and exit the bathroom, only to nearly slip on Evan’s toy dagger that came with his pirate Halloween costume. I pick it up, staring into the plastic rubies and graze my fingers along the silver carvings. I juggle it between my hands and shake my head. I run my hand along the dull plastic and imagine it slicing the skin of my palm with fearful ease, blood dripping onto the polished hardwood. I cock an eyebrow and stick the dagger into the gap between my pants and hip while swaggering into the bedroom. I observe the empty room, turning in a slow 360, and grin. I whip the dagger out and point it at an invisible foe.

“I have you now, sir!” I cry into the empty space. “You cannot escape!”

I chase the foe around the room with jabs and grunts, finally pinning him to the bed under my weight. His imaginary head rests on Michael’s pillow and sneers up at me, daring me to make the final move. I glare at him and plunge the dagger into the pillow, cackling.

“You thought I couldn’t do it! You thought I couldn’t do it, you smug idiot! But I did! Haha! I did!”

I stare at the pillow, feathers poking out of the hole I’ve made. I pull out the dagger and stare at it once again. The plastic rubies glint at me, and I begin to sob, my body convulsing with gasps. I sob into the torn pillow and smother my face in his scent. I think of coffee and blood transfusions, gagging on my tears and memories. I can’t help but hope, hope for the worst. Is it awful if I were to hope? Is it terrible to hope for such things? I lie there, head buried in his pillow, expecting to dream of sword fights and sea chanteys, and as I drift to sleep, I finger the dagger’s cold, hard plastic and dub myself Captain Mantis.