#haha sorry i dont know what to name this piece

[racew1nn3rs]

─ 𝘚𝘌𝘊𝘙𝘌𝘛𝘚, 𝘚𝘌𝘊𝘙𝘌𝘛𝘚 🫀

max verstappen x singer!fem reader // smau

⤷ summary: when max verstappen starts commenting on the posts of the beloved singer y/n l/n, fans are confused and less than enthusiastic at the new friendship. what they could never expect is just how long they've been 'friends'...

based on this request <3

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liked by sabrinacarpenter, maxverstappen1, and 46,908 others

tagged sabrinacarpenter

ynusername my new album is now officially out on all platforms! thank you so so much for all of the love and support, and special thanks to sab for her feature on the song <33 love u bb girl 🫦🫦 now that the album's out, tour next!!! see you all soon!

23,560 comments

user1 THE ALBUM OUT. THIS IS NOT A DRILL PEOPLE THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

user2 i cannot be normal about this i fear

user3 ik her back hurts from CARRYING the music industry on her back 😩

user4 hey so WHO TF IS SO AMERICAN ABOUT?? A LOVE SONG

user5 y/n writing a love song in god's year of 2024... wow

user6 y/n in the top 10 charts, fork found in kitchen

user7 sabrina and y/n are never beating the gf allegations

ynusername damn right we're not 😏

user7 HOLY SHIR HOKY SHIT HOKST SHUT

user8 y/n's in love and it's not with me, hanging myself as we speak

user9 the comment is gonna get reported but so real op

user8 can't a woman hang herself in peace 😣

user10 album's such a banger i had this shit bumpin at my grandmas funeral 🙏🏼 rest in piece nancy 🕊️💪🏻

user11 OH MY GOD???

user12 rest in piece nancy you would've loved make you mine 😔

ynusername oh my god please tell me your joking

user10 sorry queen the grind never stops

ynusername NO SHOT

maxverstappen1 great album! 👍🏼

user13 why does he text like my father 🧍🏻‍♀️

user14 brother eughh

user15 what da hell is a polar bear doin in arlington texas

ynusername thank you max!!!

user16 y/n l/n to redbull in 2025

user17 hellurrrrr who is this man in ur likes y/n

user18 f1 driver!!

user17 Y/N NO ATHELETES PLEAEJEWK 🫵

user18 tour content soon??? i'm sat

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user19 bro looks like he snuck onto earth, get his ass outta here

user20 grammy-award winner, vogue cover model, new york university graduate and Some Fucking Guy

user21 not y'all coming to her defense like the mighty morphin power rangers 💀💀 he's literally a world class athete and she writes pop music

user20 17.172.224.47

user21 IS THAT MY IP ADDRESS??

user20 melinda charleton

user22 IS THAT HIS MOTHER'S NAME!!?1?1!

user20 you want me to do you too???

user22 no we good 😃

user23 ruth bader ginsberg did not die for this

user24 now wtf does this have to do with babe ruth 🤨

user25 WHOOOOO 😧

user24 ... that wasn't right was it

user26 now let's be fr he does NAWT have a chance

user27 have u seen the marble-carved  goddesses these men pull, i fear he does 😔

user28 please no i feel ill

user29 TWO???? OH HELL NAW

user30 two might be pushing it, only one was confirmed

user31 jesus christ

user32 first taylor, now this

user33 yall, all he commented was great album 💀💀 yall are LEAPING to conclusions

user34 what can i say it's an art

user35 i do not see 👁️👄👁️

user36 no like 💀💀 im in your walls

user37 haha max verstappen!! right!!! (theres a sniper at ur location)

user38 omg ur so right 🤩 it is about him (i have a bomb strapped to my chest)

user39 i dont mean to sound stupid, idk who that man is, if i saw him on the streets i wouldnt know a thing 🥱

user40 this is so random too like what 😭

user41 the power of kindness won't work here, i have to throw him off a building

user42 i used to be a max verslsjjwwo lover 🤩 now im just a max verslsjjwwo hater 😔

user43 NURSE 🫵 SHE'S OUT AGAIN

user44 why would u put that into the universe 😧

user45 alright, lets get you to bed grandma

user46 mari stop being delusion and go touch grass 🧍🏻‍♀️

user47 ENOUGHHHH

user48 ain't no way in hell 😭

user49 ik ur feet hurt from all this jumping to conclusions babe

user50 lets leave the parkour to the athletes 😃

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liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, and 54,789 others

ynusername italy thanks for letting me be inside you (; it was such a lovely show, expect me back asap!!!!

15,267 comments

user51 IT WAS SO GOOD I THNK I BLACKED OUT THE WHOLE TIME THO

user52 oh!

user51 oh so now this isn't a safe space

user53 LANDO AND MAX IN TGE LIKES??? NO NO NO NO

user54 ABORT ABORT ABORT

user55 y'all are doing too much 🙄 she's one of the top artists in the world, i think it's safe to say they might like her music

user56 the second picture 🧎🏻‍♀️do you need a stool cause i can kneel and be really quiet

user57 y/n fans be normal challenge (impossible!!!) (never done before)

user56 WOMP WOMP

maxverstappen1 wonderful show! 🙏🏼 you are so talented

ynusername ty max (: im glad you could come see me

user57 ain't NO WAYYYYYY

user59 THIS IS SIXKENJNG IM GONNA PUKE

sabrinacarpenter my gf looking sexy 🫦🫦🫦

ynusername only for u bbg 🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️

user60 BOOOO 🗣️ GET A ROOM

user61 do y'all need a third!!!!

user62 mamma mia pizza pasta mozzerella moment

user63 i just put u on a watchlist

user62 🧍🏻‍♀️

landonorris RAHHHHHH 🦅🫵🗣️‼️

ynusername RAHHH RAHHH RAHHH RISE POWER POWER 💪🏻‼️

user63 what the fuck

user64 OH GOD WHAT IF SHES DATING HIM????

ynusername brother eughhhh

landonorris WHAT THE FUCK????

user65 SINCE WHEN IS SHE FRIENDS WITH F1 DRIVERS HOW MANY CHAPTWRS DID I MISS

user66 apparently we all went into a universal coma while she was out galavanting cause idk how else this could've happened

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maxverstappen1 posted to his story!

(caption: beautiful show)

22,456 replies

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user67 someone save my girl bro, she don't know any better 😭

user68 it's like a little kid trying to touch the hot stove, LIKE STOP THAT!! DON'T DO THAT

user69 am i the only one who thinks they'd be cute together....

user70 YES!?!?

user71 there is literally no fucking way he bagged her

user72 losing y/n to european f1 driver would be the biggest american tragedy since 2001

user73 i had to read this shit twice, op what r u waffling abt 🫵😧

user74 can't even be nonchalant about this one bro, i'm chalanting hard asf

user75 we do not care

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liked by redbullracing, f1, and 78,567 others

tagged maxverstappen1

ynusername first time in monaco, safe to say i enjoyed myself! so happy to see you shine this time my love<3

25,788 comments

user76 oh. my. fucking. god

user77 THEYRE FUCKING DATING OH MYFODNSJ

user78 THAT SHOULD BE MEEEE HOLDING YOUR HAND THAT SHOULD BE MEEE MAKING YOU LAUGHHH 🎤

user79 i'm in mourning

sabrinacarpenter CHEATER 🫵

ynusername BABY IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, IT WAS JUST ONE TIME 😣😣😣 IT WAS A MISTAKE

maxverstappen1 we've been dating for 2 years??

sabrinacarpenter SHUT UP FAST & FURIOUS NO ONE ASKED YOU

user80 i'm sorry 😃 two Y EARS

user81 i feel like i just got dumped. y/n don't do this, the kids need you 😔

maxverstappen1 i got p1 for you, i love you 🫶🏼

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hope you all enjoyed! please let me know your thoughts and feel free to leave a request for me to write something for your fav <3

[nvrsaidiwasinurcloset]

okay hi just a warning rq my autocorrect is off bc it autocorrected my friend’s name to fuckin malayalam on accident. i dont like autocorrect.

ANYWAY! ive been listening to my lovely olivia rodrigo lately, specifically her new song obsessed. i wanted to know if you could make a fic with Ethan x fem! reader where readers bitchy friend has this ex (Ethan) and she made him out to be a real dick. like, manipulating and everything.

reader eventually meets him and it turns out that she remembers… a lot about him considering her friend is a constant yapper and cant shut up about him. Ethan actually turns out to be a real cutie patootie and could literally never hurt anyone.

a few days later theyd meet again at some club or party maybe where they end up hitting it off… a little too well.. yeah so she ends up in his bed (smut part, very dom ethan plspls 😛😛). they could be talking about something really random and then reader brings up how her friend basically completely lied about him and said he was a piece of shit when he really wasnt. like a realllll fluffy end before a small cliffhanger thats never gonna get finished where her friend ends up finding out and texting her.

so sorry if thats too long or confusing idk but i actually love your work so much im lowkey your #1 fan. 😍😍😍

HELLO! I switched this up a little, I hope that's okay! 💕

Also, I fucking loved the 'leave it on a cliffhanger part that won't get finished' because WHY IS THAT WHAT I DO lmao

Obsessed - Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader - Part 1

This contains SMUT - Minors DNI

Part 2

Summary: Your friend told you horrible lies about her ex-boyfriend, and once you get to know him, you realize he's not the monster she made him out to be.

Contains: Mentions of a toxic relationship, Dom-ish cocky Ethan, rough-ish sex, oral - f receiving, p in v, fluff (If I missed anything, PLEASE let me know. I'm sleep deprived atm)

A/N: This was the one that pulled me out of my writers block, lmao. It's still not where I want it to be, but I'm TRYING. I'll try to post more this week, but I will be busy so bear with me haha.

You didn’t know Ethan Landry, but you knew you didn’t like him. He used to date one of your friends, and after hearing all the horrible things he’d said and done during their relationship, you thought he was really scummy.

They dated in high school and couldn’t get enough of each other, so they wanted to go to the same college. They broke up right before freshman year started, and after almost a year, she still talked about him every chance she got. She’d tell you how controlling he was. The things he’d call her when he was mad. How he cheated on her. You couldn’t believe that she stayed in the relationship for as long as she did, because she never had anything good to say, except that she loved him.

You’d seen pictures of him, and after walking into one of your classes at the start of the new semester, you saw him in person for the first time. He was so shy as he took his seat in the lecture hall, some of the girls making their little comments about the rumors they’d heard about him. He didn’t seem like the type that would do the things your friend said, but maybe he was just really good at playing innocent. All you knew was that you needed to keep your distance from him.

When you met up with your friend later that day for lunch, you didn’t know if you wanted to bring up Ethan being in the same class as you, but once she brought him up, you decided to tell her.

“Speaking of Ethan…I saw him today,” you said, before taking a bite of your food. Her face dropped as she looked at you.

“Where did you see him?” she questioned. You explained that you saw him in one of your new classes, and she rolled her eyes. “Can you believe he still tries to text me?”

“What I can’t believe is that you haven’t blocked him,” you said, “I know I’d hate to see someone that treated me like shit’s name pop up on my phone.”

She started to giggle as you curiously stared at her. “I have him saved in my phone as ‘Tall loser with a small dick’, so I laugh every time he does text me.”

“That’s not toxic at all,” you said, as you started to think about what she’d said. “Wait, he treated you as bad as he did and has a small dick? What the fuck were you thinking?”

“All he had going for him was that he was cute,” she said, “But seriously, if I were you, I’d stay away from him.”

“Oh, please. Like I’d even want to be near him.”

Your morning wasn’t going as expected. You slept through all of your alarms; you didn’t have time to stop for coffee. You didn’t think your day could get any worse, until you walked into class and noticed the only empty seat available was beside Ethan. You took a deep breath before you walked over and sat down. Once you reached into your backpack, you realized that your laptop wasn’t there. You were in such a hurry when you ran out of your dorm and didn’t even think to grab it.

“Shit,” you whispered, “I’m so stupid.”

“Here,” Ethan said, passing you a notebook and a pen. You curiously looked at him as he offered a weak smile. “I always keep an extra notebook, just in case.”

“Thanks,” you said, a half-smile playing on your lips.

Once class started, you were taking your notes, but you kept glancing over to Ethan. He was so focused on typing that he didn’t notice, but you couldn’t help but wonder if everything your friend told you was true. At that moment, he didn’t seem like a jerk. Then again, he had only spoken a handful of words to you.

Ethan was aware of all the things that were said about him. He hoped that after a few weeks it all would’ve blown over, but once you have an angry ex-girlfriend paint you as some horrible, emotionally abusive asshole, it’s hard to come back from that. He knew that it was best for him to just keep his head down until he was able to transfer to a different school, where no one knew who he was. He was miserable at Blackmore, and he really had no reason to stick around, aside from the few friends he’d made.

After class was over, you tore the pages of notes you’d taken from the notebook to give it back to Ethan.

“Thanks again,” you said, as you handed it back to him.

“You’re welcome,” he said, shoving it back in his backpack. “I thought about just emailing you my notes, but I didn’t know if you’d want that.”

“You’re telling me I didn’t have to spend the last hour trying to write that fast?” you asked, as he flashed you a sweet, genuine smile. “Why wouldn’t someone want that?”

“I don’t know, maybe it’s because most people here hate me,” he said, sliding the straps of his backpack over his shoulders. “You’ve probably heard things about me.”

“Yeah…are they true?” you asked, as he shook his head.

“You’re the first person that’s asked me that. Everyone else just assumes everything is true,” he sighed, “But no, I’m not a bad person.”

You started to feel so guilty. You’d said plenty of bad things about him, but you only heard one side of the story. With your friends’ story changing so many times, getting more dramatic each time she told it, you were starting to realize that it was all bullshit. You still didn’t know exactly what happened, but you were curious to know what the truth was.

“You okay?” Ethan asked, noticing that you were lost in thought as you stood in front of him.

“I’m friends with your ex,” you said, as his smile slowly fell. “What’s the real story?”

He sat back down in his seat as the other students piled out of the room. You sat beside him as you waited for him to speak.

“I really loved her…but she was just so controlling. Then she cheated on me when she went to the beach with her family. I didn’t find out about that until right before we started college,” he said, looking over to you. “She was pissed that I broke up with her, then all these horrible things about me started going around.”

“That’s fucked up,” you said, as he nodded.

“Yeah, she’s still been trying to text me. I finally blocked her a few days ago.”

“Wait, she said you’ve been trying to text her,” you said, his eyes growing wide at your words.

“Her number’s been deleted from my phone for months. I have no interest in talking to her,” he said, “I know this must be weird for you since you are her friend, but I think it’s cool that you wanted to hear me out.”

“Well, I feel like I need to apologize…I’ve said some things about you that weren’t true.”

“She’s a good liar. She has almost the entire school hating me so it doesn’t surprise me that her friend does, too,” he said, as he stood back up.

“I don’t hate you,” you said, smiling at him. “I don’t know if you’d want to, and I know she’d kill me, but if you ever want to hang out sometime, let me know.”

“I’d like that.”

Ethan was kicking himself for not asking you for your number, or shit, even your social media so he could DM you. He thought you were beautiful, but he knew that hoping for a chance with you would be a reach. He really just needed more people in his life that believed him to make the time he still had at the university more enjoyable.

Your friend begged you to come to a random frat party that you didn’t feel like going to in the first place. After your talk with Ethan, you weren’t even sure you wanted to be around her. You still went, and after searching for her for almost an hour, you checked your phone to see a message from her that she wasn’t coming, and that she ran into one of the guys she’d been hooking up with on the way to the party.

“Why the fuck am I even here?” you said to yourself as you locked your phone and slid it into the back pocket of your jeans.

“Hopefully to hang out with me, if your offer’s still good,” you heard from behind you, recognizing Ethan’s voice.

“Hey,” you said as you turned to face him. “I didn’t expect to see the most hated man on campus here.”

“My roommate told me that if I stayed in my dorm tonight, he’d throw my Xbox out the window,” he said, glancing over to the muscular guy that was watching Ethan talk to you.

“Ah, so you were threatened into being social,” you said, as he started to laugh.

“I guess you could say that. Do you want a drink?”

“Sure.”

Ethan wasn’t much of a drinker; you could tell by the sour look on his face every time he took a sip. It gave him a little confidence though, as the two of you talked and got to know each other a little better.

“I don’t think I can drink this anymore,” he said, sitting the cup down on a table. You sat yours down too, and as soon as you did, someone bumped into you, shoving you into Ethan.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” you said, looking up at him. Your chest was pressed closely against his, his hands on your hips from catching you.

“Don’t be sorry,” he said, “You can stay this close to me all night, if you want.”

“Are you always this smooth? Or is it the alcohol?” you questioned as he smirked at you.

“I’m only buzzed,” he said, before he leaned down, placing his lips on yours.

Chad was still watching Ethan from afar, cheering and thrusting his fist in the air once he saw Ethan kiss you. He started to laugh against your lips before he pulled away to stare daggers through his roommate for interrupting the moment.

“I can’t take him anywhere,” Ethan said, as you smiled at him.

“We could go somewhere more private,” you suggested, as he took your hand in his.

“Want to go back to my dorm? He’ll be here for a while so I know we can talk without being interrupted.”

“Sure!”

Once you made it back to Ethan’s dorm, you were starting to think that he really did just want to talk. You enjoyed listening to him, though. He was telling you about all his hobbies and interests, and you were telling him yours. You started to glance around his side of the dorm room, noticing the cliché, dorky things you’d expect to see.

“Nice Star Wars poster, nerd,” you joked, as he smirked at you.

“Oh, I’m a nerd?” he said, as he nudged you back on his bed. He was hovering over you, his mouth inches from yours. The sexual tension got so thick as his eyes looked into yours, his hand rubbing your hip.

“Mhm,” you said, the corner of your bottom lip in between your teeth. “A hot nerd.”

He felt his cheeks start to heat up, and he really didn’t want you to notice, so he leaned down to finally connect his lips to yours. It didn’t take long for the kiss to get more intense, his tongue brushing across your bottom lip. You let him deepen the kiss, his tongue moving with yours as his hands started to roam. You whimpered into the kiss once his hand squeezed your thigh, your hips started to squirm underneath him.

He pulled away but still stayed close so the two of you could catch your breath. You were reading each other’s faces, and it was obvious that you both wanted more.

“How far do you want this to go?” he asked, his breathing still heavy as his eyes looked into yours.

“As far as you want,” you said, your sweet tone making him groan.

“That’s not what I asked you,” he said, as he leaned back down to kiss your neck. His curls were tickling you, but the only reaction you had were the soft moans slipping past your lips from how well his mouth moved. His hips were rutting into yours, showing you how hard he was for you.

“I want you to fuck me,” you said, as he pulled away to look at you.

“You sure?”

“Mhm.”

Ethan was a little, well, very eager. He got you undressed in what felt like seconds, leaving you in just your panties. Once he stripped down to just his boxers, you got a little curious. You glanced down to see his hard cock straining against the fabric, and started to laugh to yourself, your gaze going to the ceiling.

“What’s funny?” he asked, as he hovered back over you to take one of your nipples in his mouth. Your laughing stopped, a gasp slipping out when he started to suck. “I asked you a question,” he teased, before moving to the other side.

“She really does lie about everything,” you said, as his tongue swirled. “She said you had a small dick.”

He started to laugh against you, before he pulled back. “That’s funny, because she couldn’t take it.”

“I can,” you said, his smile turning to a smirk as his hand trailed down your body to rub you over your panties.

“We’ll see about that,” he said, as he moved lower down the bed to position himself between your thighs.

He slid your panties down your legs, before running his fingers over your wet pussy. Your eyes stayed on him, your bottom lip in between your teeth as he teased you. Your anticipation just kept building as he moved down the bed, positioning himself in between your thighs. He leaned in, slipping his tongue inside your entrance.

He was sloppily eating you out, his head moving from side to side. His arms hooked under your thighs to pull you as close to his face as he could as your hands went to his hair.

“So good,” you whimpered, your breathing getting faster as he worked you closer to your orgasm.

He slid his tongue out of you to focus on your clit, quickly replacing it with two of his fingers. Your back was arching off the bed as he moved his arm back and forth, applying as much pressure as he could to that spongy spot inside you as he sucked on your swollen bundle of nerves.

“You’re gonna make me cum,” you babbled, as he started to chuckle with your clit in his mouth.

That was all it took for your legs to start shaking and your grip on his hair getting even tighter. Once your pussy started to clench around him, he slowed his fingers to a slow roll, not wanting to overstimulate you. His tongue gently licked your clit as he worked you through it, your whimpers getting softer as you came down from your high.

“That was the best orgasm I’ve ever had,” you admitted through your shaky breathing. Ethan started to laugh a little as you looked at him, your eyes hazy. “What?”

“Just wait until I’m inside you,” he cockily said, “You still confident that you can handle it?”

“I know I can,” you said, your legs instinctively spreading wide for him as his fingertips ran up your thigh.

“What are you going to do when no one else can make you feel as good as I do?” he questioned, as one of his fingers started to rub circles on your clit.

“I guess I’d have to keep you around then,” you said, as he shook his head.

“You’d only have me until summer starts,” he said, his finger moving faster. “I’m transferring to a different school after this year.”

“No, you’re not..fuck. I’ll convince you to stay,” you said, relaxing into the bed as he teased you.

Ethan pulled his hand away from your pussy before he slid his boxers off. He crawled back on top of you and reached over to his bedside table to grab a condom.

“I might let you convince me,” he said, as he lined up with your entrance. You tensed up a little because you knew how big he was. “Relax, baby.”

You did as he said, taking a deep breath as he inched his way inside of you. You were moaning as he stretched you out, and when you thought he was all the way in, he just kept going.

“Oh fuck,” you whimpered, feeling so full as he finally came to a stop, wanting to give you plenty of time to adjust. “Told you..Fuck, I told you I could take it,” you said, already struggling to speak.

“Don’t get cocky,” he said, your mouth falling open as he started to move. “I’m going to ruin this pussy.”

“Ruin it,” you said, challenging him as your lusty, hooded eyes connected with his.

It took everything in Ethan to not immediately start pounding into you, but he didn’t want to hurt you. He started slow, your eyebrows already furrowing together, low moans slipping past your lips. The head of his cock hit that special spot every single time, but you needed more. He sped up a little as your legs wrapped around him, your hands gripped tightly around his biceps.

“Maybe you can take it,” he said, his breathing getting heavier. “Can I go faster?”

“Yes,” you whimpered, as his hips moved quicker.

Your brain was starting to turn to mush, the babbles slipping past your lips making absolutely no sense. The only thing your mind could process in that moment was how good Ethan was making you feel. He thought you were adorable, already so cock drunk, and he wasn’t even close to being done with you yet. He kept his pace, but occasionally thrust a little harder to see if you could take it, the loud moans slipping past your lips as your nails started to dig into his arms letting him know that you could.

He angled your hips to go even deeper. His pace was a little slow as he made sure you were okay. Your eyes were pleading with him to go faster, because you knew the words weren’t going to come out of your mouth. It was getting so hard for him to hold back, so he finally let go. He started to pound into you so hard that your skin was tingling, all the nerves in your body on edge. Your toes were curling as he slammed into your g-spot, your whimpers turning to cries as you felt your orgasm starting to build. It was hard for you to keep your eyes open, and you were sure Ethan was going to have your nail marks on his arms forever with how hard you were squeezing him.

“Fuck,” was the only word you were able to get out, your legs wrapping tightly around him as your body started to involuntarily jolt. Ethan was sure that everyone in the surrounding dorm rooms knew what was happening, because you were being so loud. He wasn’t letting up though. He loved that he was making you feel that good.

It only took a few more deep thrusts before your entire body started to tremble, loud whines flooding out of your mouth as the wave of euphoria washed over you. He chased his own orgasm as he fucked you through it, your pussy clenching him so tight that he was moaning himself.

“I’m almost there, baby,” he said, a slight rasp in his voice from all the panting he’d been doing.

You went limp, your grip on his arms and your legs around his waist relaxing as his hips started to falter, a loud groan slipping past his lips as he released into the condom.

He took a minute to catch his breath before he slid out of you. His abs were burning and his arms were sore from your nails, but he quickly got up to take the condom off so he could take care of you.

He crawled in the bed next to you as you adjusted to lay your head on his chest, still so fucked out that it was hard to process your thoughts. Ethan just held you close, his hands softly rubbing over your bare back as you relaxed into his touches.

“You’re okay, right?” he asked, after a few minutes of you not saying anything. You lazily nodded as your hand moved to rub across his chest.

You laid there in silence as you started to think about what’d just happened. You knew your friend was going to be pissed if she ever found out, but did that even matter? She made almost the entire university hate Ethan for things he never did, and it made you sad that he felt like he needed to switch to a different school so he wouldn’t have to deal with it anymore.

“So…” you finally said, “How can I convince you to stay?”

He let out a nervous laugh, not knowing the best way to respond. “I can’t take people talking about me the way they do anymore.”

“Even if I convince everyone that it was all lies?” you questioned, your tone playful as you angled your head to look at him. “I think it’d be awful for you to leave because of her. You could miss out on someone that would treat you right.”

“Someone like you?” he questioned as he looked down at you. You nodded, before he leaned down to kiss you. “You’re good at this whole convincing thing.”

“Does that mean you’ll stay?” you asked, smiling as you sat up to look at him.

“Yeah, as long as you don’t break my heart,” he said, wrapping his arms around you to pull you back down to his chest.

“I won’t.”

You stayed in Ethan’s bed for a couple hours, making plans for all the dates he wanted to take you on. It felt like you’d known him for way longer than just a few days, the two of you having an instant connection. You hated to pull away from him, but you knew you needed to get dressed before his roommate got home.

“It’s late, can I walk you back to your dorm?” he asked, as he started to put his clothes back on.

“I can’t believe I thought you were this horrible monster. You’re so sweet,” you said, as he smiled at you. “Yeah, you can walk me home.”

Ethan walked you to the front door of your building, pulling you into a gentle kiss before he pulled away.

“I’ll text you,” he said, as he started to back away.

“Yeah, let me know when you make it back to your dorm, please,” you said, as he nodded.

When you made it upstairs and got settled into your bed, you heard your phone vibrate as it charged on your bedside table. You grabbed it and saw a goodnight message from Ethan, a huge smile on your face as you responded to him. You were so exhausted from the time you’d spend with him, and you soon felt yourself start to doze off. You heard your phone buzz again, your eyes lazily opening to see if it was Ethan. You took a deep breath once you read the message that was sent to you.

‘Why the fuck were you kissing Ethan at that party?’

[tinydefector]

Not really a request but more of a ramble. Ive always been torn betweenn Cybertronians not really having any material instincts and just essentially knowing how to function since creation. Kinda like Steven Universe. They can be young and differ in how much knowledge they hold but overall they have the bases of how to function without any caretaker needing to be around. But then I immediately start shaking at the thought of them having even stronger instincts that humans. Maybe closer to animals that have come to accept a human as their own. Just picturing a cybertronain seeing someone who's carrying and immediately is distressed on how little protection our clothes offer. Nows theirs a bot who keeps hissing at those who get to close other humans included. Their plating is ruffled and if they are a seeker their wings are spread in a threatening manner. May you have the patience of a Saint if said seeker has a large trine because now they all share the same feral need to protect. A con that stumbles upon a lost child and immediately claims them as their sparkling.( if you wanted to make it a bit gross I can imagine they do a forced adoption the same ways farmers do sometimes. Where they just kinds cover a stray baby with the fluids of a mother to create that connection. Kinda gross but I can see it being used to further claim a child) They consider the biological parents of the child nothing more than food and shelter for their now sparkling. They try a coo and speak to the child in their natural tongue. A seeker that chirps and clicks its glossa. A grounder that does low hums and songs like a whale. Sorry for the long ramble haha. I just think the ideas of cybertronains either having no idea what instincts are but also the ideas of them drowning in them. Or meeting humans just relights their feral mindsets in any and every way.

I happen to really love both ideas a lot. I enjoy the idea of Cybertronians not understanding family or parental rolls, Forged sparks start off in smaller frames and slowly gain more framing as they get older. Instead, it works more like a mentor and apprentice side of things. They teach you how to do your job, keep your head down like Terminus with Megatron. Their race doesn't have a name for the connection they have so in turn they call each other friend, but intruth it's more than that but they don't know how to explain it or express it, they dont raise the younger one but they are their for special events such as plating ceremonies. To Megatron Terminus is an elder, someone to be respected for his knowledge and teachings. And they both care for each other, when Terminus us gravelly injured Megatron does everything he can to try and help him because he feels like he owes it to terminus for everything the older bot as done for him. It's a mutual benefit of a bond that's isn't family but also is much closer than friendship.

But on the other hand, I look at Optimus and Codexa, and I love the idea that I found this little bitlet and instantly went mother mode. Practically scoops him up out of a hotspot and takes him home with her. She's very attentive and is the one who even names him. In all aspects, he is her son, and she does everything she can to try and raise a good mech, and she does a wonderful job. She teaches him to read, sings to him, and each plating ceremony, she keeps a piece of his old plating similar to humans and baby teeth. She celebrates when he gets his first job as a Liberian because she put so much effort into making sure he had a comfortable job, not wanting him to struggle like so many other mechs less fortunate.

And then there is my headcanon for birthed sparklings, which differs depending on what frame type they are. They experience different behaviours. Grounders are in different sub sections

- Tanks: Megatron, Tarn, Warpath, Blitzwing

- Mine frames: Megatron, Terminus,

- Hauliers : Optimus Prime, Sentinel Prime, Ironhide, Ratchet, Inferno, Kup,

- Emergency services: Prowl, Ratchet, Pharma, inferno

- Battle Chargers: Ironhide, Hound, Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, Trailbreaker, wheeljack, Tracks,

- Praxian carters: Prowl, Bluestreak, skids, Smokescreen,

- speeders: Rodimus, Drift, Jazz, mirage, redalert, blurr, Tracks,

- mini vehicle: Bumblebee, Tailgate, grapple,

- Vosian Fliers (later Seeker's): Starscream, skywarp, Thundercracker, sunstorm, Nacelle and so on all of the Jets.

- Helimech: Whirl,

- aerial Shuttle: Cosmos, Omega Supreme, Senator Shockwave.

- Combiners: stuntacons, combaticons, constructicons

- Cassettes/ mini bots: Ravage, Rumble, Frenzy, Rewind, Lazerbeak, buzzsaw

- non Traditional frames: Rung,

- Non shifters:

There's a lot more but these just just who I can think off off the top of my head.

____

Tankers and Mine frames don't get the luxury of families or raising sparklings, most of them are cold constructs, and don't get a chance to see life outside of mines or duties they have been put into. But if given the chance they are actually very protective of a sparkling, they will fight to the death for their bitlet even if it isn't their. Their behaviour is very similar to a bear mother with their protectiveness of a child, human or cybertronian.

Megatron's optics focus on the tiny form in his lovers arms. If it were any other situation, people would think he is glaring at the tiny baby being placed again in his Chassis. "They have no plating or outer frame, no protection." He states while looking to his lover. "They are a baby, Megs, human babies don't have anything like sparklings, they are very fragile," they explain with a smile as they watch their child try and grab Megatron's large digits. His optics soften as he watches their child as the baby babbles and giggles up at him. It makes a switch inside his possessor flick. Nothing would ever hurt this child. He would make sure of it. A deep rumble leaves his chassis as he lets them play with his large servos. A laugh leaves his lover as they watch him. "You look like a grizzly bear with a cub," they chuckle as they lean up to press a kiss to the side of his helm.

Hauliers tend to see a random sparkling and go. "You're mine now, I'm going to warp you up in bubble wrap and keep you in my cab so no one can hurt you" Hauliers tend to be very attentive carriers/ Sires to adopted or sparked bitlets. A lot of Hauliers tend to be very nomadic in the rust sea moving inpacks. They tend to behave more like migrating herds when on cybertron, but those who live in the cities tend to make a very homey and comfortable for sparklings. But also they are the ones who panic the most when their child puts something in their mouth they shouldn't have.

Optimus chuckles as he watches his bitlet roam around. Playing with sticks and mud. He sits not far off watching them as they play his optics soften as they giggle and let out little buzzes of excitement as they find a new rock. "They seem to be enjoying their first proper road trip," His lover calls out as they walk their way over to him. Leaning down to press a kiss to his Helm. "They are very fascinated by a lot of things on Earth," he rumbles his optics, meeting his partners. "Can you really blame them, I remember a certain bot being very fascinated with Terra's fauna when we first arrived here," they tease him. Another squeal of delight comes from their sparkling as they begin trying to chew on a rock. Optimus let's out a slight noise of panic as he quickly moves towards them. "No, no, Bitlets, you can't eat that," he states while trying to pry the rock from the little ones' servos. They squeak and squeal in protest before eventually letting go of the rock. Another laugh leaves his lover as they watch the two.

A lot of emergency vehicles tend to not be the best for being parents. Mainly due to their work and just not having the time for a bitlet. But they are very attentive to those who do have them, trying to calm them and make sure that they aren't hurt and can make it back to their parents. A lot of the time, they will put up the disgruntled act of the dad who said they didn't want a cat, but then ends up with a child curled up on his chest as he works.

Praxian carters tend to act very similar to seeker, but with children and sparklings its as if they can feel where they are but have a tendency of paranoid when they can't see their little ones. Their door wings will flicker and twitch when they hear their children and will respond back with soothing little clicks. A lot of the time, they will carry their sparklings on their back between their door wings.

Prowl wasn't impressed with Sunstreaker or Sideswipe. The two young mech burst out into fits of laughter watching him with a human baby strapped to his chest. His wings flutter in dispair as they begin taking photos to send to every mech they know. "Oh Primus Prowl, when did you get yourself a bitlet!" They ask while also fauning over the baby who giggles and reaches out with grabby hands. Prowl let's out a slight,all collection of angry clicks as his optics narrow in on the twins. "I am looking after them as their parent had an important meeting today," he snaps as he begins walking, trying to outpace the twins as they continue shooting questions at him. "But you have them strapped to your chassis like they are battle gear!" Sunstreaker laughs, which earns him a smack up the side of the helm from Prowl. "They are too small and too young to be left to their own devices, and the safest place for them is where I know they are," he grumbles before slamming the door to his office shut.

Speedster are one of the cybertronians who tend to forget their child exist sometimes, having no awareness until they are like something is missing. Oh Primus, where is my Bitty!. They are very live fast die hard kinda mechs and it translates over to their child. They are very much the one who will proudly show off their child who is currently eating something they shouldn't be. But they are also one of the most cuddly with their child. Curling up with them to their chassis as they purr loudly.

"RODIMUS PRIME, DRIFT DEADLOCK WHATBARE YOU LETTING MY BITLET EAT!" their voice boomed as their optics narrowed in on the two speedsters and sparkling. Drift turns around in an instant. "I tried to stop them, I swear, but Roddy dared them," he states. Rodimus looks sheepishly at his lover as their sparkling laughs and shouts. "Told you I could!" The little one shouts in excitement, not carrying about the disappointed look from their other parent. "You timeout, you Decontamination spray Now, and You... I'm not angry, but I'm disappointed, " they state, which makes Rodimus face drop. "Nooo. That's worse!" He shouts only to have his bitlet laugh at his whining.

Seekers are the most parent of all cybertronians to the point that some trines work as a family system. Each seeker is a carrier to one seekling, but also being the sire to another or having one seeker who is the sire to two. But then their is the others who aren't spark bonded to others in their Trine, because tries can consist of siblings, cousins, parents or complete strangers so each trine is different. but the family works to train and care for all of them together. They speak in a pigeoned vosian, which is a mix of chirps, thrills, and other little vocial noises. They are also the most social. With large gatherings for sparklings to meet and also bond with others so that they can eventually find their own trine.

For example, I love the idea of Thundercracker and skywarp being brothers, but starscream is trine bonded with them.

Acid storm, Nova storm being a bonded couple who ended up with Sunstorm who is much younger who try care for as their sparkling.

Dirge, Thrust and ramjet who are all random Seeker's who became friends at a young age and are a trine but aren't together at all, they be the boys who go out on the town and wake up in their flat with a hangover and a random mech/ Seeker in their berth.

Nacelle trills lightly as the little seekers curled up in blankets and pillows. Wings fluttering in delight as he watches the little mechs curl up again each other. His two lovers chuckle softly, watching how me preens and chirps and thrills at his two little bitlets. One of his lovers moves closer to him, resting their helm against his backstruts as his wings flutter again. "They are just sleeping sweetspark you can step away. They aren't going anywhere," they call out to him. "I know, they are just..." he starts before his other lover calls back. "Fresh, I know and very you, but they are here finally, you don't have to stand guard all the time," They tease before leading him into the room towards the fluffed up berth. "I think that's enough playing guard for the night"

____________

Link to second part for Megatron

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[fcknstar]

,, the innocence is gone "

pairings : gf!ethanlandry x fem!reader ( vesper )

summary : what happens when history tends to repeat himself?

content warnings : violence, betrayal, obsession.

**lowercase intended**

" ghostface would be attractive if he didnt kill.. " you voiced out, in your own world when the whole group turned to face you in shock. 

" uhm.. i think thats a bit far fetch dont you think? " mindy cringed. 

how can the thought of someone with a mask pull your heartstrings, or even turn you on.

" i mean, in my opinion he could be pretty hot. " you shrugged. 

the group wasnt new on your interests in slashers, criminals. you figured that it was always the attractive ones who killed. they just found it weird considering you, mindy, the carpenter sisters and chad nearly got killed by one. 

" coping mechanisms. " quinn laughed the tension off, with the rest awkwardly nodding. 

★ 

ever since ethan joined the group, you have been nothing but attached. how did a good looking guy - a snack - be so lonely. you thought he had someone in his mind, the one you knew you couldnt occupy. but he did. you. but he soon swallowed the feeling down to focus on his mission. he knew he had to kill you, so why did your existence crumble him. making him question about his true intentions. 

" i had econ! " he defended himself as mindy analyzed ethan. 

you saw ethan leaving the apartment so you did trust him. 

" mindy, he did leave the apartment, remember? " you whispered, eyes closed as you listened to the rustling sounds around you. 

" see? " 

" vesper, you are next in my list- " 

" what? just because i defended him doesnt make me the killer. and you know for a fact i would never considering the fucking shit weve been through! " you couldnt believe your ears, your own best friend not trusting you. 

" mindy, i think you are over- analysing everything right now. " sam sighed. she trusted you, even if she knew she couldn't trust anyone. but youve been there for her and tara since day one. 

" fine, but ethan is still on the top of my list. " ethan bringing his hands up in defeat. giving him a lopsided smile, he returned a sad smile back.

everyone were starting to turn their backs on their own people, those that had to relive such traumatic moments. 

★ 

" hello? " 

" hey, ves! i was wondering if you could head down to the library? i need your help. " your friends voice begging for a yes to come out from you. instead a -

" no, im sorry. im with ethan right now, catching up on some shit i dont understand. ill try to come down as soon as possible though! " ethans eyes darting to your face. he loved the way you said his name. how sweet and soft youd say it, as if he was a fragile doll you had to take care off. 

" oh man, alright sure! just text me - update me yea! bye! " a sigh was heard from the other side. 

" bye love~ " you giggled. you were often flirtatious with your closest friends. ethan - not knowing the gender of the caller, narrowed his eyes. 

" so sorry about that- " 

" who was that? " ethan couldnt help but ask. he just had to know. if you couldnt be his, you shouldn't be anyones. 

" lana, she needed help with something. i dont know. " ethan nodded. 

★ 

ethan has yet to leave your side since the van. he needed to be with you as long as he could before he killed you, as him or as ghostface. so when gale brought you and the others down to the shrine, you realized ethans hand around your wrist. 

looking up at him, him smiled. 

" cant let you leave my sight knowing youd go crazy over this stuff. might lose you on the way. " you chuckled. 

looking over the items, you couldn't help but wonder how did someone collect items that was about six years ago - or even more. walking up on stage, you grazed every piece of black robe that could be filled with blood. this was a new feeling and you liked it. 

" remember how you said that ghostface was attractive, i get how someone might like him. " ethan blurted out. 

" haha very funny eth. " rolling your eyes, knowing that he's just trying to annoy you. 

" i mean look at amber freeman. she was hot. quite literally. "

you stopped at amber freemans robe, such events replaying. 

" welcome to act three. " you stumbled backwards watching as she aimed the gun at you.

" its sad that that pretty face will be gone to waste. " amber made a pouty face. you liked amber, maybe more than just a friend. of course you found her attractive, even with her reveal. but you couldnt.

it felt as if someone took your heart out, squeezed it and pushed it back in. you had to digest so many information and your dumb brain couldnt handle it. you didnt want it to happen again, knowing you couldnt take another heart break.

" ves? " ethan placed an arm on your shoulder. 

" sorry? " 

" you alright? " you nodded, afraid that your voice might crack. 

you coped up with everything by searching on slashers, even learning their tactics. it was interesting to say the least. you soon became obsessed with one you didnt even acknowledge. you should have known.

★

sam and tara pulled you behind them as ghostface removed his mask, revealing ethan. 

his gloomy face was replaced with a menacing smile. you tuned everything out, realizing that everything this happening again. fuck, you thought. ethan was a shy dorky guy, and now standing in front of you is a killer that you liked. oddly enough, you didn't feel betrayed or even hurt. he looked hot, with his hair sticking to his forehead and his breathing heavy. thoughts of blood on his face couldnt help but flood your mind. you just didnt want to die. not yet. 

you didn't even realize when ethans rounding the corner, near the glass display you and sam were standing at. 

you being the closest one, he pulled you, placing the knife against your neck. 

" fuck, eth- " your voice died down in your throat when you felt him press the knife further into your neck. 

" no- " sam and tara wanted to run towards you when quinn stopped them. 

" no, no you little fuckers, you aren't going anywhere. " before walking towards them, ethan walked with you, following quinns steps. your back against his front, you felt his heart thumping hard. probably due to adrenaline. you were going to die. tonight. in the hands of ethan. 

quinn lunged forwards before tara smacked quinn with a brick, knocking her out. 

that was when bailey aimed the gun towards the sisters. 

" you brought a brick to a gun fight.. quite sad isnt it. that you have to die this way. "

" sam- " out of instinct, you jolted forward, forgetting the knife against your neck. you had cut your neck slightly, as you pushed yourself further behind against ethan. 

" you sweet dumb thing. too stupid to not realize that you may cut yourself. " ethan pouted before pulling you away from the others. 

sam and tara saw ethan pushing you forward with the knife against your back. shit, they thought. 

before you could even ask him where he was bringing you, he stabbed you in the arm. 

" ive always wanted to stick something in you, ves! " he smiled victoriously.

" fuck you, eth! " you breathed.

" is that an offer? " shaking his head, he continued, "since i like you, ill spare you. " 

he has made up his mind.

a.n : have been vv obsessed lately, requests coming soon <3

[cool-person-yey]

YOU KNOW THE DRILL TMAGP NOTES 23!!!

• that title is not concerning. not at all pffft not at all.

• ik it was written by harlan so im hyped

• * ominous music * my beloved

• * office noises * hehe

• hello sam my beloved

• hello lena my dear

• oh the response department!!

• Sam why do you keep doing that cmonnn

• " I just want to know how deep the rabbit hole goes" yeah yeah yeah sure

• oh! chester

• heyy forum thread again

• oh hey nice I guess

• peace right? please tell me they're not saying piece

• oh they are aren't they

• voice is more human!

• you have to be sneaky huh

• oh relationship problem yippee

• so very much alive.

• aquariums are very cool though I agree

• I hope that's an emoji and not :) bcuz if :) ever appears it better be read as two dots parentheses

• oh I relate so hard

• the trans experience right here

• wait who's he

• sorry gamers the auditory isn't processing today

• hahaha wdym is it safe

• oh no I dont think it's going to go well

• it bled a lot hmm that does not seen good

• secret?

• oh that's. that's ominously sweet?

• I'm sorry what???

• you're not?? feeling it??

• oh no

• OH NO

• I mean it does sound cool but oh my

• EYES MENTION

• keep your name,,,

• this is. so trans codded. or is it just my trans ass seeing it everywhere

• the surname being Newman is fucking hilarious

• hi why suddenly everybody commented

• haha sorry what

• oh no not the locked thread again

• who dat

• opening the transcripts

• Celia and Sam!

• he rly called Jon a basic bitch

• try searching for martin k blackwood next

• elsewhere??

• BASIRA??? HELEN???

• we got the whole gang now we just need Melanie???

• hey Gwen

• no you're not <3

• oh no

• hey Alice

• yeah you're totally fine Gwen definitely

• the moments I've dropped my mug wasn't fun

• freak in the sheets Alice mug is not canon then

• she's really dropping everything

• yes of course hide your actual feelings behind jokes haha

• HOW MANY EYES??? TAPE RECORDER??? FUCK OFF

• NO

• OH FUCK ME

see y'all next Thursday if I don't die

[bitchlessdino]

repeat rebound (m) Ch. 2 : repeating regrets

Chapter list

Pairing: Fem!reader x fwb!soonyoung

Genre: suggestive, kinda crack

word count: 3.4k

tags: more bestie!jeonghan, hookup!wonu, suggestive, mention of alcohol, mention of eating ass lol, sexual innuendos, insinuates sex

Summary: The best way to get over someone is to get under someone. Again and again and again.

author note: hi hehe, she’s back

tag list @nikkell @anthropologymajorkpopmultistan @i-dont-give-a-fok

“FUCK YOU LEE JUNG CHAN.”

Thinking back, it was embarrassing how quickly you accepted him back in your life. 

You toss books at the naked man, who rightly reclaimed his title as your shitty ex, as you clutch the duvet to cover your bare body underneath.

You thought you couldn’t take the long night alone anymore no matter how many strangers you’d sleep with. You thought you wanted and missed Lee Chan. You thought that deep down this was what you needed. You thought you needed your boyfriend back.

“You think I wouldn’t notice you moaning another person’s name while we fuck?”

“Baby—ow—it was a mistake. Honest!”

“Your mom made a mistake when she had you. Get the fuck out of my apartment!”

You were the first time around when he left you. Your ex-boyfriend was a piece of shit that didn’t even deserve to be the gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe. 

You admit, it was satisfying to be the one to dump him, not forgetting to mention, kicking him out with no clothes on his back but the underwear he came with, and finally dumping his shit out your window. Getting back together with him was worth it for that alone. You sigh a breath of relief to have the part of your life over. Again.

No tears came this time around, just shame. Were that desperate to not want to be alone?

The answer was a fat yes.

“Yn, what are you doing here? You remembered my address?”

You stare back at a shirtless Soonyoung, body as beautiful and toned as ever, with eyes looking back at you in confusion.

It’s been roughly a few weeks since you last saw him, aka the one heavenly railing that gave you the push you needed to fucking realize you’re better off without your loser ex, even if you did cave in for a measly moment. You were done for good now. You were all about your present and forgetting the past.

You smile sheepishly back at him, “Haha, funny thing. I remembered because I know Jeonghan and you guys live in the same building, but forget that. I know what I said last time but—“

“Babe, who's at the door?”

A girl in an oversized shirt makes herself known, clinging to Soonyoung’s bicep. She peers at you curiously. “May we help you?”

By the sheer confidence of her posture, she wasn’t your average hook-up, and by the term of endearment, they were more than familiar with each other. She carried the atmosphere of a girl next door with the attitude of the perfect model citizen and the smile of a thousand lights. This girl radiated girlfriend material and was no doubt was, maybe is, Soonyoung’s girl. You had to act fast on your feet. What exit strategy can you make without exposing yourself and your relationship with Soonyoung?

“Uh,” You straight up your posture, thanking your past self for actually getting dressed normally in a muted cardigan for once, “have you found our lord and savior Jesus Christ?”

Soonyoung had to choke back on his laugh, clasping his hand to the mouth to feign a cough. “She’s one of those missionary people? I don’t know.”

Oh, you did more than missionary that night, his lying has got to be better than that.

She tightens the grip on his arm, a firm grin on her face. “Um, sorry, we’re atheists.”

You have an exaggerated shrug. “Well, worth a try. Have a blessed day.”

You don’t even let the door shut to speed walk and then sprint past them in an instant, shutting your eyes in embarrassment and not bothering to look back. There wasn’t a way you’d come back from it, but what’s done is done. You were just going to find another way to get over your predicament.

Jeonghan winces and then laughs the first time you tell him that story over the phone. “What you get for fucking one of my friends.”

“Yeah, yeah.” You collapse on top of your bed, taking in a self-care day from the self-loathing. “Let’s go out again. I need fresh dick.”

He scoffs, “Haven’t you had enough dick to go around with Soonyoung and eating ass of the last months’ leftovers you should’ve thrown away in the first place?”

“...I regret ever telling you about my sex life.”

“Yeah, well now you’re more educated and sexually woke,” you hear him smile on the other end, “you’re overdue for a break sweetheart. Too much dick can’t be good for you.”

“On the contrary, Jeonghan, this is my whore era. I will suck and eat all the ass I want because what? I’m hot and I can. You taught me that, remember?”

He sighs. “I knew taking in disciples would fuck with my free time. Okay, we can meet at the Wasted Unicorn tonight.”

“Uh, no, no. That’s where I met Soonyoung. I told you, I need a hot, new dick.” You emphasize, already doing your makeup while you listen to him on speaker.

“You said they’re back together, ergo, they won’t be there.”

“You idiot, I am not trying to look for a knockoff Soonyoung. I already associate him with that club—Let’s fuck around at that bar that opened up next to Minghao’s. I heard their drinks discounted for opening week.”

“Fine by me, Nympho. If it sucks ass, you’re paying for my Uber back.”

You knew Jeonghan was your ride-or-die the first time you met him. You crashed parties together, got drunk blackout together, and got hungover together. You love this man to death. Despite the shit he says, he made things feel okay in the moment and it feels like just the two of you. He was your platonic soulmate. He made your breakup just a bit more tolerable.

“How about skinny jeans over there?”

“He’s obviously fruity, the fuck are you on?” You slap against the marble counter, harder than anticipated, but didn’t let the pain show on the surface. “Are you sabotaging me, Yoon?”

“You can’t assume shit like that!”

You shot open your eyes. “He literally walked hand in hand with a man!”

“Besties can do that!” He shrugs nonchalantly.

“And now they’re making out.”

He rolls his eyes defeatedly, leaning against the counter. “Fine. Fine–Oh, hot Clark Kent, six o’clock.”

Your eyes were locked on that prospect and your eyes immediately shot open when you figure out what made this supposed undercover superhero hotter than the original. He was tall, lean, and built. His frame hugging in high-quality fabric, his biceps bulging out intoxicatingly, and his low neckline reveal a tasteful amount of his chest. “Fuck, he’s fine. I’m gonna be on him like butter on popcorn.”

He pats you supportively on the back. “Get ass, kid.”

You approach the unsuspecting man similarly to how you did to Soonyoung, talking him up a storm, letting your charms peak through effortlessly. You were set on charming the pants off this man, quite literally. Fortunately, your efforts were proven to be effective once again as you find yourself in the illustrious ‘Wonwoo’s’ place soon after.

“Would you like a drink?”

“What do you have?”

He scans through his collection, a hand over one bottle cap at a time. “I have something bitter like whiskey, something sweet like wine, something mild like beer.”

“Maybe something hot like you?”

He snickers, pulling away from the liquor cabinet to take you by the hand, tugging you in his direction. His hands slide over the shape of your body, comfortably settling on either of your hips, “You’re cute. I like that.”

“Really?” Your arms drape over his shoulders, pressing in a little closer to him. “Tell me what else you like about me.”

“I'd rather show you.” He smiles before pressing his lips into yours, the heat of his body flushed against yours.

He leans over, digging your back into the bar counter, but slips his hand behind you to take the pressure. They crawl down to the skin of your thighs and heave you up to place you on the counter. He stands between your legs, chuckling against your lips, digging at your hips. “You smell so nice. Jasmine?”

“You have a good nose, sir.”

“Guess I know a thing or two,” He kisses down your jaw, giggles erupting on your end, as he played with the hem of your blouse, “I’d still like to get that drink for you though.”

“Wine then. Red.”

He gives you one last kiss before reluctantly pulling away from you to retrieve the wine. You observe him as he does so, catching the quick glances he gives you, and notice the sheer elegance he holds carrying both glasses and a bottle in either hand. He pops it open in front of you with ease, filling glasses halfway, and hands one to you, all while returning back to the place he’s meant to be: between your legs.

“Mmmh,” you lick your lips, catching the spilled wine from the corner of your mouth, “you have good taste.”

Your legs hook around him strategically, glass dangling from your fingers. You let your gaze fall on him intently, seeing how his expression matches yours through his thick frames as he’s sipping the bitter red. He sets it down away from you, cupping your face, and reunites your lips tenderly, but tongue entangling with yours playfully.

Your mind fogs in the thought of this dark and handsome stranger. You hardly had much to drink, but the closeness you felt with him made you feel drunk all on its own. Your grip loses from the wine glass and you end up spilling red on his shirt, letting him go in a panicked gasp, “S-shit. I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright,” he starts unbuttoning his top, worrying about the stain it leaves, not minding that he was exposing his muscular torso right in front of your very eyes.

He didn’t care how he impulsively flexed getting the shirt off or the light layer of sweat on his skin.

“W-wow.”

You hover your hands over his firm chest, a smug smile appearing on Wonwoo’s face.

“I should treat this stain before it gets worse. I’ll be right back.” He plants a final kiss on you, letting it linger, before disappearing behind a bathroom door.

You giggle to yourself, thinking how lightning can’t strike twice in the same spot but you managed to catch two hot guys so soon after ending a serious long-term relationship. The self-esteem in you is shooting as high as skyscrapers right now.

It was then your happiness was cut short after spotting a little picture frame in a corner. Initially, you peered over it at curiosity, but upon further inspection, it looked like a family portrait. A portrait where Wonwoo, the man of the hour, was a doting husband and a father.

“Fuck.”

You sneer at the door Wonwoo hid behind and decide to gather your belongings before exiting his apartment. You slam the door behind you, running your hand through your purse for your phone. You dial Jeonghan, the one guy you could trust, hearing the dial tone on the other end.

“Stupid. Stupid. Pick the fuck up already.”

You had it up to here with men. You were ready to go home and wallow again. 

No answer. 

You ended up calling yourself another Uber, whining to yourself about how much money you’ve spent, already breaking the budget for the week. To make matters worse, you had to be locked out of your own apartment. No emergency key, and no other way in, you were fucked instead of getting fucked as you intended.

You had to take the streets again, this time getting to Jeonghan's place, hoping he was already home. Your feet were hurting from your heels, skin digging into the back of it, a premature walk of shame, but a whole different level of shame if there ever was one.

“Y/n?”

And there’s that lingering embarrassment coming back to bite you in the ass.

“Oh, hi, um again.” You awkwardly wave from the ground.

Soonyoung peers down at you curiously, noticing your fresh getup but worn-out hair and makeup, making his own assumptions about where you were coming from. “You’re not like, coming to visit my place again are you?”

You shake your head defensively. “Oh, no, no. Jeonghan. I'm going to see him.”

“At 11:36 pm?”

You respond back with a tight grin. “Yeah, um. I got locked out.”

It was starting to make sense. “So, you’re just waiting on him?”

“Uh yeah, he has my apartment keys so I thought I’d stay back and wait since he wasn’t picking up my calls.”

“How long already then?”

“Not that long.” It had only been an hour since you arrived.

“Okay, well…want to wait at my place, for now anyways?”

You would be lying if you said you weren’t tempted, better than being on this scratchy dirty carpet. “What about your girlfriend?”

“…she’s out.”

His initial silence worries you. “I don’t know how she’ll feel knowing I was alone with you”

“She won’t have to.”

“That’s so sketch,” You chuckle, “but…ok. For now, just until Jeonghan gets back.”

“Of course.”

His hand stretches out towards you, offering to get you up, to which you accept. “Thanks, Soonyoung.”

He grins, “Hey, you do know my name.”

“Shut up,” you retort, rolling your eyes with a relaxed smile.

You scan the man’s apartment like it’s the first time, processing it since the previous events prevented you from doing so. Its blueprint was similar to Jeonghan’s in a comforting way but had Soonyoung’s own flair and color palette.

“Make yourself at home, nothing you’ve never seen before.”

“I actually never got a good look at your place entering or leaving. You really like tiger print,” you mention picking up a coffee mug painted in orange and black jagged stripes.

He takes away from you, putting the mug back on the counter, “No, but I like tigers. They’re just a vibe, I like their energy.”

Your eyes waver over at him cautiously, “…right.”

“Don’t you have anything like that? A fixation?”

“What is this, 101 questions?” You snicker.

He shrugs with a playful grin, “Just killing time. Didn’t really learn much about you doing…well, things that kept your mouth busy.”

You roll your eyes, feeling the heat creep up your cheeks. “Y-you’re so…weird.”

You threw yourself against the leather couch, arms crossed, avoiding the man’s eyes. “Where did you come from?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” he chuckles, bringing out a water bottle and sitting respectfully away from you on the couch, “Work.”

“What do you do,” accepting it and taking a swig.

“Hard labor.”

You scoff. “That’s specific.”

“I just put my body at work, okay?”

You gasp dramatically. “Oh my god, you’re an exotic dancer.”

He rolls his eyes, laughter flowing out from his lips, “No, I’m…you’re gonna think it’s silly.”

“Try me, tiger boy.”

“That’s my insta handle. Go figure.”

You pay no mind to the change of topic, looking back at him expectantly with a raised brow.

“I’m…an event planner.”

You hum a sound of thought, “Did not expect that, but, considering your apartment, that all makes sense. And it’s not silly.”

He can’t help but smile a little harder. “Thanks. I actually really like my job. I get to see people’s dreams come to life.”

“That’s actually pretty cool.”

“Yeah? Wanna see my portfolio?”

He pulls out a box full of albums and files from his previous events, seeing pictures of smiles and happy faces, swatches of colored fabric, and even thank-you notes he received after the planning had all ended. You caught Soonyoung in some of the photos, having a great time, laughing, chatting up some patrons, and having a drink in a glass flute. He looks put together in a different way than you met him that night, somehow more neat and well-groomed.

“You look really nice in these photos.”

“I know a good stylist and dresser,” he humbly brags.

You pick through the pages, always finding more to see, and you stop at a set of photos Soonyoung seemed more prevalent in, one where he’s wearing a suit, looking like he was actually part of the event and not planning, so you can’t help but ask. “What’s this?”

“Close friend's wedding, I was the best man, and co-planner.”

In one of the photos, he stands next to the girl you saw him with that morning, arm in arm, and you’re overwhelmed with emotion, something that made you uncomfortable thinking about.

“You guys look cute here.”

“Thanks, I would hope so, getup got me a whole couple grand.”

Your finger trace over the outline of her dress, “She looks really pretty.”

Soonyoung realizes how you fixate on such a detail, eyes glued to the book as if it was filled with words, and he starts to grow self-conscious.

“…yeah.” He closes up the book and starts putting it away.

“Hey, I was looking at that!”

“I have something better to look at.”

You sneer at him, and the pit of your stomach churns at his choice of words. “What?”

He can’t help but laugh at how easily you caved, an arm falling against your shoulders, “Romcom or action?”

Soonyoung thought a movie was an easier distraction, and although it worked (your eyes were practically glued to the mounted tv screen), he was dead tired from his day job, drifting off to sleep. Yet, there was still no sign from Jeonghan. You can’t help but notice Soonyoung in his state, thinking about how he didn’t even bother showering despite how late it was, but how cute he did look asleep.

You tried ignoring him, he’s a taken man after all, but his soft snores started to drown the sounds of the TV, and his head hit the surface of your shoulder. Air seeps out his nose and tickles your collarbone. You nudge him, or try to, whispering, “get off.”

He doesn’t in fact get off and only snuggles closer, now leg draping over your legs.

“Great.” 

You grip his limbs, trying to tear him away, and he just falls against you on the couch. Chest to chest, cheek to cheek, arms embracing you naturally. His eyes finally crack open, vision blurry, mumbles on his tongue, asking if he had fallen asleep and then he sees you, blinking back up at him, feeling your heart race against your rib cage.

“Shit, I’m…so–”

You exhale. “It’s okay, just, um…”

“I should just…”

The air gets tighter and the distance between you both gets shorter. Your eyes flit over the sweat on his pierced brow to then the pink of his lips, heat taking over your body, and arousal flooding inside you, now seeping out of you. No words imaginable could express how much you needed him inside you right now.

You shift underneath him, brushing against the crotch of his pants, to which he softly grunts, cock twitching on top of you. His lips lean in to ghost over yours and temptation playing with you both like a fiddle. The tension is soon cut with a ringtone and you come back to reality soon enough to push the unavailable man away from you. You grab your phone from the coffee table to answer it, hearing Jeonghan on the other line. “Took you long enough…Cool, so I’ll just sleep over at your place.”

Soonyoung’s hand wipes his mouth, cursing himself for letting that happen. You were dangerous.

“Bye.” You click away the call soon enough and turn back to the welcoming party, smiling sheepishly. “I gotta…you know.”

“Yeah. Bye.” He picks himself off the couch and leaves the room avoidantly, not even sparing you another glance as he hides behind his bedroom door.

You expected that and you don’t blame him. A long, heavy sigh leaves your lips and you make your way out of his apartment, closing the door with a bad taste in your mouth, and storm off to Jeonghan’s door. It takes you not long for it to fling open once you knock against it, revealing the man alone and dressed down to his comfort in sweats and he lets you in with a smile. “Hey? Fun night?”

You let the door shut behind you, not answering. You stand in front of Jeonghan, a determined glint in your eyes. “I want to use my coupon.”

“Your coupon?” An intrigued look appears on his face.

“Yes. I still have mine.”

Jeonghan’s lips quirk up mischievously before nodding. “Fine.”

You take quick steps towards him, arms thrown over his shoulders and around his neck, you latch to Jeonghan, kissing him hungrily, to which he does more than reciprocate. His hands slide over your back to fall on your posterior, deep moans vibrating against your lips as his digits kneaded into your flesh. Both your feet have a mind of their own, taking yourselves on to the trail of his bedroom, hitting the wood of the door before disappearing behind it, now finding your plans for the rest of the night.

[pesterloglog]

Rose Lalonde, Kanaya Maryam, Jade Harley

Page 565-572

ROSE: Kanaya,

ROSE: It looked for a moment back there as if you were going to actually go through with our "Mutilate The Hostage Beyond Recognition" ruse.

ROSE: With Yiffy rescued and the other children absent, might now be an appropriate time to... hash it all out?

KANAYA: Mm

KANAYA: And What Do You Feel Needs to be Hashed Exactly

JADE: ugh... well

JADE: kanaya i know you havent been very happy and youre probably super frustrated

JADE: but first off i want to say thank you soooo much for putting everything aside to help us

JADE: youre the reason i have my girl back!

JADE: and with minimal bullet holes too! haha

KANAYA: Ha Ha Ha

JADE: ... also... you have every right to be angry!!

JADE: this isnt a little white lie, its a whole bed of secrets which then became an entire child

JADE: but whatever it takes to earn back your trust ill do it!

JADE: ever since we first met ive respected you, felt cared for by you

JADE: i hate how i returned that kindness...

ROSE: Jade.

JADE: and of course you arent obligated to ever forgive me but... i dont want to lose you too!

JADE: i love you kanaya

JADE: youre my family

KANAYA: You Fucked My Wife

ROSE: Exhales.

KANAYA: My Apologies Jade

KANAYA: That Was Very Brave And Of Course Extremely Forthcoming Of You

KANAYA: A Refreshing Change Of Pace From The Ongoing Process Of Haggling The Truth Out Of The Two Of You Detail By Sordid Detail Following The "Yiffy Reveal"

ROSE: Implying we are leaving out information that could remedy this situation.

KANAYA: Implying

ROSE: Sorry.

KANAYA: I Didnt Want You To Remedy The Situation

KANAYA: I Wanted You To Own It

KANAYA: Instead You Let John Lead The Conversation With His Stupid Questions

KANAYA: And Sprinkled Out A Gauche Attempt At A Tear

JADE: but-

ROSE: A bit shameless perhaps.

JADE: !

KANAYA: It Was Theatrical

KANAYA: Well Unlike John I Am Not A Stranger To Your Lives

KANAYA: When You Feed Me Some Half Baked Lie About Karkat And Dave Wanting To Adopt I Know Better

KANAYA: And Though That Travesty Of A Name Is Undoubtedly An Incomprehensibly Offensive Piece Of This Particular Puzzle

KANAYA: What I See Is Not An Explanation

KANAYA: But A Glossing Over Of The Worst Detail

ROSE: Jane.

KANAYA: Rose That Woman Is Going To Ruin The Future For Our Daughter

KANAYA: And You Snuggled Into A Secrets Bed With Her

KANAYA: For So Long I Couldnt Convince You To Share A Cup Of Tea With Jade

KANAYA: Then Years Later You Happen To Grow A Sympathy Gland And Decide To Jump Right To Sharing Offspring

JADE: its my fault kanaya! she was the only option i had left...

KANAYA: Sure Let Us Go With That Considering Your Stated Distaste For Ectobiology

KANAYA: Thats Only Suitable For Trolls Correct?

JADE: no!

JADE: everyone deserves a choice

JADE: but...

JADE: i already have an entire kingdom of ecto-children

JADE: this had to be different

ROSE: No one wants to contribute to the off brand doppelgangers strolling the streets.

ROSE: Easily the worst aspect of this place.

KANAYA: Is That Why You Acquiesced

KANAYA: ?

KANAYA: Because I Am Stumped On That Part As Well

KANAYA: If Memories Serves When We Were Adopting Vriska

KANAYA: I Mentioned The Precarious Possibility Of A Jadedavekat Brood

KANAYA: What Is It That You Said Again

ROSE:

KANAYA: I Believe Your Approximate Verbiage Was That "Their Dysfunctional Human Centipede Of A Relationship Is Soaking With Lighter Fluid And Begging To Burn" And That You Would Feel Sorry For The Grub

KANAYA: Jades Qualities Rang Too Familiar Right

KANAYA: Evasive

KANAYA: Pushy

KANAYA: Lacking In Proper Coping Mechanisms

KANAYA: Carrying An Air Of Unspeakable Sadness

KANAYA: The Poor Kid

ROSE: Congratulations.

ROSE: You've managed to exhume the solemn cadaver of my mother's memory and make her the star of another argument.

KANAYA: As If You Ever Bothered To Bury Her

ROSE: What does this have to do with anything!?

KANAYA: What I Am Doing Is Demonstrating That I Have No Intention To Mediate This Situation

KANAYA: Or Pacify It

KANAYA: Or Even Be A Little Bit Nice Right Now

KANAYA: So Perhaps Youll Actually Take Me Seriously For Once

KANAYA: Instead Of Assuming You Can Pull The Baabeast Keratin Over My Eyes And Distract Me From The Awful Reality

KANAYA: That You Trusted A Monster Over Me

KANAYA: And Cant Even Tell Me Why!

ROSE: And if you don’t like the answers?

KANAYA: That Is Future Roses Problem

ROSE: I see...

ROSE: Ok.

JADE: (ok...?)

ROSE: I want it on the record, involving Jane was not my decision.

ROSE: But it was a pre-established requisite that I did not fight against.

ROSE: It is Jade’s child after all.

ROSE: And you’re not completely wrong, either.

ROSE: I may have felt some... pang of responsibility. For a litany of psychologically revealing reasons.

ROSE: But more than anything else, I took her up on it because it felt oddly

ROSE: inevitable.

ROSE: Anyways,

ROSE: Deep down, I knew it didn’t matter.

ROSE: However we handled it.

ROSE: Whatever hurt we caused.

ROSE: It was never that serious.

ROSE: I knew you would forgive me.

KANAYA: Rose

KANAYA: When Did You Stop Trying

JADE: yeah rose!!!!!

JADE: what the fuck!!!!

JADE: this is not what we discussed...

JADE: you're devaluing kanaya's feelings, minimizing our impact on her!

JADE: woah, im defending you!!!

KANAYA: NO

KANAYA: YOU ARE PISSING ME OFF

JADE: b-but i just dont want things to get even worse!!!!!!

KANAYA: Then Stop Pretending That My Feelings Are Top Priority

KANAYA: AND TRY BEING HONEST FOR ONCE

JADE: WHAT DOES IT EVEN MATTER!!!!!!!

KANAYA: Excuse Me?

JADE: you heard me!

JADE: you were wronged kanaya!

JADE: the truth cant change that

JADE: saying it just fucking hurts more

JADE: what does that accomplish?

JADE: its so embarrassing, would you even get it if i had?

JADE: you havent been alone since we were thirteen

JADE: and the first chance you got you packed up your cosmic purpose and hid away in the brooding caverns

JADE: you have no idea what its like out there

JADE: how traumatizing dating regular citizens was

JADE: imagine trying to love someone who already knows every available detail about you

JADE: who has *opinions* on what happened to you as a child

JADE: who assumes youre indestructible

JADE: newsflash it fucking sucks!!!!!!! because no matter how nice they were

JADE: they didnt want to know me

JADE: they wanted to date the god of space

JADE: and i felt SORRY

JADE: for disappointing *THEM*!!!!!

KANAYA:

ROSE: I had my suspicions but I had no idea it’d been that bad.

ROSE: You didn’t even hint at it.

JADE: why would i?????

JADE: so everyone could lecture me again on how "bad" my "boundaries" are?

ROSE: (I did that one time.)

JADE: you want bad boundaries

JADE: do you know how many people would be waiting outside public bathrooms to talk to me about their problems?

JADE: this one guy randomly started apologizing because they cooked their hamster in the microwave!

JADE: and they looked so sad... i had to hug them and say it was ok

JADE: but it was not ok!

JADE: they murdered their hamster!

Rose: Ugh...

JADE: and their other hamster killed itself

KANAYA: JADE

JADE: out of loneliness!!!!!

KANAYA: GET TO THE POINT

KANAYA: !!!!!!!!

JADE: millions of people told me they loved me

JADE: but i was never a real person to them

JADE: i couldn't let that happen to yiffy too

KANAYA: What

JADE: i had to save her kanaya!

JADE: give her the chance to grow up as a normal kid with a normal life

JADE: not one where people would befriend her to get close to me

JADE: or fucking bark at her while walking down the street!!!!!!!

JADE: and jane had the resources to provide that

JADE: every scare weve had she was able to cover up

JADE: she literally controls the media for christs sake

KANAYA: We Could Have Figured It Out

KANAYA: Indebting Yourselves To The Second Coming Of The Condescension Was Hardly The Only Answer

KANAYA: I Was Right Here

JADE: thats true but

JADE: you could have said no

JADE: or worse

JADE: i can live with rose doing this because she wanted to see what would happen

JADE: but i couldnt stand the idea of owing my kid to the fact you felt sorry for me!

JADE: especially after the dave and karkat... situation...

JADE: i couldnt do that again

KANAYA: We Could Have Helped You If You Let Us

JADE: i needed a fresh start, not to sit around taking care of grubs and watching shitty romcoms forever and wasting away in an empty house!

JADE: i wanted to live!

JADE: and living here is already so hard

JADE: and not only because of the war or what happened to dirk or whatever the hell is wrong with john

JADE: the world is fucked!!!

JADE: and yet, despite all that, yiffy turned out to be so good

JADE: and she's mine.

JADE: yiffy exists because i needed her to.

JADE: ... shes the only future i have left

KANAYA:

ROSE:

JADE:

KANAYA: Jade I Recognize You Have Had To Sacrifice Principles To Survive

KANAYA: And That Is Hard To Live With

KANAYA: Even Now I Can Sympathize

KANAYA: But 15 Years

KANAYA: ?

JADE:

KANAYA: Even If I Didnt Want Her

KANAYA: She Was Already Here

KANAYA: So Why Make It Worse

KANAYA: Why Perpetuate The Lie

JADE: i...

[keysmashhhhhhhh]

15 Q 15 FRIENDS

OMG I've missed tag games!! thank you so much @fernandoalonzoo for that tag!!! :))))

Are you named after anyone? my first name no but my middle name is the name of my my mum's sister who died before i was born :)

When was the last you cried? today, yikes its been...a day for sure, from my boss being a dick, to my work friend accidently spoiling the race results for me and another friend calling me up only to talk about herself, yeah its been a time but im feeling better now i'm on tumblr :)

Do you have kids? omg no, i barely take care of myself however i did buy a colindar and a cheese grater for uni yesterday and that felt very adult and responsible.

What sports do you play/have you played? i used to do swimming, netball and cricket as a kid but nothing serious

Do you use sarcasm? its in my dna

What is the first thing you notice about people? HAIR OMG ALWAYS HAIR i dont know how to explain it i can just read people by their hair

What is your eye color? blueeeeee

Scary movies or happy endings? happy endings always :)

Any talents? speedy reading and writing skills, also just an uncanny knack for hunting things down (sort of rainbolt style if anyone gets that reference) like give me an obscure piece of information or a blurry photo and i see it as a challenge to find it. comes in very handy during research projects

Where were you born? nearly on tower bridge (see photo) in london

basically, my mum went into labour and the hospital was on the other side of the bridge to where we lived and then whilst in labour the bridge went up and my mum was stuck waiting for the boat to pass so she could drive but yeah she did make it to the hospital on time yay - i was born in the same room as Paul McCartney's daughter and also Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin from Coldplay, their kid was also born in the same place. its like less than a minute away from Abby Road - so all in all a cool place to be born :)

What are your hobbies? reading books, watching tv, going on lots of long walks, plotting routes across the world that ill never travel - f1 of course and generally tumblring it up with my mutuals :)

Do you have any pets? no :( my dad is allergic to just about everything

How tall are you? i actually dont know haha, kind of medium height i guess

Favorite subject at school? history for sure best subject

Dream job? something where i get to talk about things im passionate about, journalist perhaps??? im not sure

this was so much fun!! sorry for recounting such a long explanation of where i was born its just such a fun story :)

tagging: @fandomchaosposts @love4lando @formulapisces @sof1shticated @multiseb21 @481boxboxbaby

i have many more people id love to tag but i've got to run for a train so thats it but if you see this consider yourself tagged!! also if you're tagged but have already been tagged/dont feel up to it, dont worry!!!!! anyways hope everyone is having a lovely day :)))

[incorrectskyrimquotes]

ab to nap or try to bc I am exhausted but I have to be honest ab something here and it sounds pathetic but like

I am genuinely legitimate anxious for getting Northern Dawn out. And for literally just one character in it: Ulfric. He plays a MAJOR role in Eryn's life. Whether or not she likes him depends on the day but he does like her and wants to at least see her succeed. As I've planed my outline I've tried to give Ulfric a very balanced characterization. Something like "this man once stood for the principles he espouts now, but is a shadow of his former self. He is broken and angry and those with the most loyalty to him are those who knew him before he was twisted into this sick thing" which I think is a fair way to portray him.

I dont think making him cartoonishly evil or racist

is very accurate to his character. I think he's more passively racist (as in he doesn't care ab the dunmer and their problems) than actively racist (in the way rolff is where he goes looking for a fight)

makes for a compelling story or character, especially since he serves as somewhat of a foil to eryn on how to view what it means to fight for skyrim and for the stormcloaks.

But typically when I even mention ulfric I get SOMETHING happening at me and it gets overwhelming. As haha funny as viddy game discourse is, and honestly yes it is funny that any of us care this much ab a game that Todd has resold to us 5 times now, it's also just anxiety inducing that the most contentious character in the game is also a major character in Northern Dawn. The prologue goes up next week on the 1st and I've had actual real panic attacks.

I'm fairly certain I'm in my own head about it again. I guess I see my follower number (~7100) and think of that as 7.1k individual people who could start something with me over ulfric, since every time I so much as mention him some fuck shit starts.

And I think about presenting my fic to that many people. It's so much more direct than with publishing or journalism. It's also so much more personal. It isn't must my op piece as the head editor (something I used to do) that gets put out alongside other pieces and articles and pictures. It isn't just my writing being published and distributed to bookstores I'll never visit to be read by eyes I'll never know.

I am directly putting this story, this character I've loved since 2017 in this setting I've loved since 2011, in front of 7.1k people. One of the biggest characters in the story is typically a cause for discourse on tesblr.

I am unreasonably anxious. I'd even say I'm scared. There's a lot of eyes on me and how I'm going to choose to write these divisive characters.

Idk. I'm rambling and my meds kicked in half way through that so sorry if none of it makes sense. I KNOW how pathetic it sounds to be SCARED posting my stories to such a direct a large crowd. But I am. I am scared.

I'm still gonna do it, Eryn and her story means the world to me. I'm gonna go to bed and hug my fox stuffed animal. His name is Carrot.

[c4tg1rlf41lur3]

had a power thought at work today and so i wrote it down in the silly little work memo pad. im just gonna write it all down here. bc i can.

transcription start!

' golden trio? cursed trio. obvi we have harry first, like OBVIOUSLY he's got his curse scar forehead shtick, but also he's like. fought death since age 11 (AT LEAST). mans is not gonna b completely unscathed save for the silly little death curse scar :3 he's prob got a burned palm from the philosopher's stone/quirrdle. quickle. what the fuck's name. him. 2nd year we've got the basilisk fang stab. big scar, pheonix tears or no. 3rd year he got no big wounds from what i can remember? whole lot of emotional trauma but what's new. 4th year burns from dragon in 1st task, maybe some residual gill/webbing scars from gillyweed in 2nd task, then the piece de fucking resistance from the third task. by that i mean forehead scar is prob. worse. somehow. maybe it spiders out like cracks in the skin further than it already has. and by lightning scar i also mean like actual lightning. not that shitty little ⚡️ something messy and even bigger after the graveyard ("i can touch you now" scene) + scar on forearm from blood sacrifice. 5th year "i must not tell lies". obvi. then a lot of shit happens to harry in 6th/"7th" year that i Do Not Remember woops. whatever happens there = still there.

RON! bestie. bby. im so sorry the movies utterly DESTROYED ur character. he doesn't suffer as much physical damage (still emotional! but) + a lot he does receive isn't caused by magical curse objects physically hurting him. i've got rules for these headcanons you just don't get to know what they are. (directly caused by magical object/curse/cursed object = scar) (indirectly caused by magic or nonmagical encounter = no scar) (<- situational healing magic properties). anyways ron. lots of his injuries are indirectly caused by magic (i.e hit down by chess pieces) this trend gets obliterated past 4th year. ministry of magic showdown. the works. those weird brain jellyfish things that stuck on him all mind zappy + literal zappy. THE FUCKING LOCKET. aw harry, ron, n hermione have matching scars <3 from the locket horcrux. they all wore it right. im sorry rons section isn't as detailed i just know he went through HELL in the last books but I! DO NOT! REMEMBER THOSE! bad jojo. woe is me. FIENDFYRE BURNS. WHAT THE FU-

hermione is a similar case to ron, but actually very little physically happens to her, magical or no. i scoff at this blatant sexism. i'd like to think maybe the polyjuice potion cat hair fiasco of 2nd year may have had some lasting effects (purrhaps some facial scarring from whiskers, marks at her tailbone from the tail) (haha) (see what i did there) (anyways) then we have the removal of an imperfection when they fixed her teeth. more sexism with that btw. but like ron, lots of damage past the 4th book. notably the written "mudblood" scar from bellatrix. i cannot remember what else happens to hermione other than that. guess i'll die '

the end. theres very little point to this tbh i just thought it was interesting. i didn't check my work at all btw. if anythings wrong i. Dont care love u byeeeeee

[mllebabushkat]

☀️ Warrior Nun S2E6 🌙

PSA: i didn't survive this ep lakdsj;gjaskjda

haha my whiplash from Confusion to OH OH YOUNG SUZANNE

AND SHANNON

(wow i missed her and i barely knew her T^T)

so either shannon's older than i expected or superion is younger than i expected???

but more importantly

superion's halo is SO POWERFUL?????

she's got that a) touch of death palm technique Lite Version AND b) nifty overwatch lookin shield scuse me ava when will you

once again OST SLAPS

SHE IS SO BADASS!!,!,!,’cbnncbdbdbfj also cocky hahaha i love her

this fight's fave move: double neck skewer!

firstly, halo rejecting looks GNARLY

secondly, w h y (grief? fully drained? it somehow knew she failed to protect someone due to her own ego? severity of her own moral failing? i want. answers)

The PRIDE in bea’s look as ava talks 🤩 i am hanging on to every single avatrice interaction for my liFE

cam trying to summon the boogeyman is the horror trope i didn't know i needed ahahaha

MICHAEL'S GOT A NUKE tony stark lookin ass

"we are not both dying over some interdimensional power grab" u tell em!!!!1 (such a frustrating and common trope, why must the hero always be the sacrificial lamb for some lofty goal?)

yo that is one DIRTY look bea gave him tho lmfao

on today's episode of bullying william: "foster" what a dumb name L u delusional little shit

cut to vincent el bastardo

"and we shall contact god by text" the ABSURDITY PFFF

*what's in the box voice* what did adriel sayyyyyy????

obligatory fuck off adriel

picking out tmrws outfit slay boyo 🤡💁‍♀️is it me or does he look like Hugh Jackman with that new beard

back to the blessed blorbos!

team super cam aw <3

OH NO U DONT TOUCH HER GIRL LIKE THAT

protective!bea i'm swooningg

journalist!yasmine is so cuteeee

CAMILLA UR CHASTITY HAHAHAHAHHAA

clutching my pearls but also yes girliE GET SOMEEEEEEEE

is that the fuckin,, lalisa sonf? v hype but ngl doesn't fuuully fit the scene But i'll let it slide :)

“well then warrior nun, see you on the other side” 😍😍

you tell me that won't be one of her affectionate nicknames once they settle down and have their happily ever after i DARE you-

“do you know how i know that adriel isn't god, vincent? because he chose to speak to you” OUCHHHHHHHHHH

ok i'm calling it now that pointy cross is hanging Very Ominously over the stage,.,,

adriel choosing to mimic the medici’s bastardised image of Jesus the irony is not lost on me :)

so uhhhhhh why does the halo only sputter out at plot relevant moments? *shakes writers in frustration*

LILITHS TEETH VAGINA COSTUME

i'm so sorry but lilith girl they did u so fucking dirty wtf is this shitty look costumes dept u were doing so wellllll TAT

oh dear ava 🥺

yall there’s nothing that hurts me more than a well laid plan going wrong

lilith hurtling off the roof - HAHAHAHAHA YEET BITCH

where tf was ava hiding her helmet???? up her-?

kristian: “let it go” ah ofc they planned for this

insert it’s a trap !!!!!!!! meme

i can’t watch thissssssddsddd

oh boy the cross tip hanging ever lower like the sword of Damocles

I CALLED IT

nooooo rest in pieces duretti shdhdhajahgdhd

jesus that's brutal,, gnarly counter: 2

michael: "god isn’t real" maybe the true message all along was atheism :)

CAMILLA AND HER GUNNNNNN BIG BRAINNNNNN

AVA DESCENDING LIKE THE REAL ANGEL SHE IS

vincent seeing her-

lilith ex machina swooping in-

OK MICHAEL GOT A STAB IN gnarly counter: 3 (once again loving the gore this season !)

BOTH ava and michael choosing to sacrifice themselves in that moment PLS NO

ooh love the millisecond yellow sheen on adriels eyes

sister ARMS- sorry- i meant sister dora HELLO THERE

“come on pretty boy” ahahshdhdksjagahaha bea ily

back at base

ok fess up who's the goddamn snitch

(small eyeroll at the 'oops i destroyed the macguffin detonator' trope)

SUPERION NO

NO

NO

(did she die ????)

never has a cross been so hateful as the one drawn in blood fuck you william u little dipshit

SUPERION NO 😭😭😭😭

did lilith just save ava by teleporting her

jahdkclcpsjsxnxoxmxnsiskncc

this episode took my heart and shredded it in a meat grinder

superion has shot up my favourites list this season and for her to end like that-

and duretti!

but mostly superion TAT i'm suing for her And mary >:(((

ANYWAY

not keeping calm and carrying on-

[diagnosed-anxiety-disorder]

Black tea, music discourse!! I'm hoping the tea stuff is supposed to be "go infodump and I'll infodump back", because if not, I'm doing that anyways, fhjsjsj

Okay so. ETUDE A MINOR OP 25 NO 11 BY CHOPIN. (Had to double check that like 5 times, hdjskak, how do people remember these titles)

I found it today through a Chopin biography -> other song -> YouTube comment -> this song rabbit hole, although what's specifically kinda interesting to me is that I ended up listening to a cover of it by Zennetia, which puts it on guitar + metal, THEN two covers by Rousseau and Evgeny Kissin which are actual piano, and the comparison between it and other music I've heard is kinda cool to me?

Zinnetia's especially reminded me of the one Yngwie Malmsteen song I'd listened to a while ago (Blitzkrieg), which I guess makes sense since I'm pretty sure Yngwie was really inspired by classical stuff? (Though I don't know much about him apart from that he was a 80s/90s? guitar virtuoso and that he didn't like donuts (second claim is also dubious)) I kinda hear it in his playing now that I have listened to a few classical songs, though I of course could be wrong since I don't listen to a lot of it, dhsjjaj

But it's also so genuinely fascinating to me to hear Yngwie in Chopin stuff because the first time I listened to Blitzkrieg, it was like a gut reaction of "wow, this is VERY different and new" and now I KNOW where that "newness" in song and riff structure is coming from? And I don't think I would have made the connection without Zinnetia's cover so HUH

Basically I'd love to hear what you think about my rambling if it interests you, dhsjja, also any song recs are very very welcome because I am INTRIGUED by this genre :)) (+ Please tell me if I am typing too much, I have a tendency to do that and not everyone likes to be essay'd at so I understand, haha)

Okok first of all i dont know how people memorize names of classical pieces either, i struggle with that as well. But that specific Etude has a name (thank the gods 😭😭), Winter Wind. I actually tried teaching myself a bit of it but then gave up since it was too hard hdnebnebf

Checked out Blitzkrieg and it kind of reminded me of this one guy’s cover of Shostakovich’s string quartet 8 movement 2. I highly recommend it for you it’s soooo epic! Also listen to a string quartet play it as well.

Speaking of classical-inspired rock, Plug In Baby by Muse was inspires by Bach’s Toccata and Fugue. The guitar riff was taken from approximately 0:45 in the Rousseau video I linked. Muse is also known to be very classical based even though theyre not classically trained, very cool

Sorry it took me a bit to respond, but reading ur rant was definetly worth it 🫶🫶

[purplecraze]

Beauty and the Beast AU 3

orange-plane-boy — 08/26/2021 9:13 PM

He climbed the gate like he did time before and sneaked in

He took some steps inside and looked around

"Umh...Hello? Its me again! I-Im not here to steal stuff again i swear!! I just umh, have some questions??" He asked as he walked deeper in the house

"Like uh...not to sound rude but did you cursed me? People kinda hate me now. Like, more than the usual haha..."

purplecraze — 08/26/2021 9:16 PM

Upon entering, he could hear a faint 'you-!' in the distance.

But aside from that, there was no answer.

the place was a complete mess this time around. Not as destructive as that night had sound, but it hadn't miraculously been undone either....

orange-plane-boy — 08/26/2021 9:18 PM

Yep it was messy...but at this point nara didnt even question it too much. If whoever (or whatever?) lived here passed his time by breaking and fixing stuff, none of hia business.

"Umh...at least may i know if birdy its ok now?"

purplecraze — 08/26/2021 9:22 PM

"..........."

One of the candles lit up by itself and the little bird appeared on it.

it looked fine, physically. But it was staying on a distance.

orange-plane-boy — 08/26/2021 9:24 PM

"Hi little one! Looks like you are recovering! ...from whatever you had- sorry, i like birds but i dont know a lot of yknow, fire birds" He awkardly giggled

purplecraze — 08/26/2021 9:25 PM

the little thing staid where it was, just eying him.

orange-plane-boy — 08/26/2021 9:27 PM

"So umh...Is like a way i can talk to who lives here? I know im being a bit of a pest right now but i got kicked out from the village over some forks so i kinda have some questions hah"

purplecraze — 08/26/2021 9:29 PM

once more, it was quiet for a while.

Then, the bird flew off into one of the hallways, too fast for Narancia to follow.

orange-plane-boy — 08/26/2021 9:30 PM

He tired to follow it, but he gived up after he sprinted somewhere

"Uh ok?? Im gonna umh...Im gonna wait here!"

God he felt so awkard

purplecraze — 08/26/2021 9:33 PM

it took another long time for the bird to return. at least an hour went by, in complete silence.

But eventually, it returned with 2 pieces of paper: one folded note and one envelope with a seal on it baring the same emblem as the silverware had had.

orange-plane-boy — 08/26/2021 9:35 PM

Usually leaving a boring Narancia alone for a lot was kinda dangerous, but for now he just like?? Fixed some of the stuff in the room??

"I was bored...and i wanted to apologized" he murmured to the bird before opening the note

purplecraze — 08/26/2021 9:39 PM

the bird perched on his shoulder, but didn't ask for more attention beyond that.

The note was as followed:

'You are not cursed.

5 days from now, merchants will deliver supplies.

Hand them the envelope and go with them.'

there was a small ink spot on the paper at the end of that sentence, as if a pen had been pressed to it for a while.

'I apologize for what you have been through on my account.'

orange-plane-boy — 08/26/2021 9:41 PM

"Oh"

It took him a while to read all of that but then got the envelope in his new jacket pocket

"Uh! Thanks sir ghost!! And umh, no need to apologize! Im kinda the one that sneaked in the house in the first place!" He said, cupping his mouth to be heard

purplecraze — 08/26/2021 9:43 PM

he could hear a timid sigh, but that was all the feedback he was going to get.

The bird got off his shoulder and flew circles in the air for a while.

orange-plane-boy — 08/26/2021 9:45 PM

Nara looked at the bird for a while

"You are really cute yknow? Do you have a name or do i have to keep calling you birdy?"

purplecraze — 08/26/2021 9:47 PM

the bird flew towards him but seemed to hesitate for a moment, it then flew in the direction of the dining hall, slow enough for Narancia to follow.

orange-plane-boy — 08/26/2021 9:48 PM

"Ok ok i follow you!" He said, well if he needed to live there for some days then better get used to it

purplecraze — 08/26/2021 9:49 PM

once more, there was all kinds of delicious food waiting for him. The dining hall was all cleaned up too.

orange-plane-boy — 08/26/2021 9:52 PM

"Uh thanks again??" He murmured

And while yes in the past 2-3 days he ate more than the usual, it still looked all so good. And while he was not feral like the first time, he still happily ate everything that could fit in his stomatch

"So...does mr ghost comes to eat or?" He asked to the bird feeding it a slice of apple

"If merchants come here with the food it means he has to eat right??"

purplecraze — 08/26/2021 9:54 PM

the bird shook its head, seeming to understand exactly what he was saying, but not being able to communicate back.

orange-plane-boy — 08/26/2021 9:56 PM

He looked at it curious and petted its head

"Its just you two here right? At least i hope you keep eachother company"

purplecraze — 08/26/2021 10:01 PM

it flew towards a cabin and took hold of an empty sheet of paper, then perched down on top of an ink bottle.

orange-plane-boy — 08/26/2021 10:02 PM

He grabbed the bottle and looked at it

"Uh...i cant really write if its what you need" he said, opening it anyway

"Dont tell me that you can write because i cant belive a bird can and i dont" he giggled

purplecraze — 08/26/2021 10:04 PM

The bird took one of its own feathers, even though it didn't hurt. he dipped it in the ink and indeed started writing.

'No, just one.'

orange-plane-boy — 08/26/2021 10:15 PM

"Uh?" Now he was even more curious

Now even the bird writing

"Well must be loney here then..."

purplecraze — 08/26/2021 10:16 PM

the bird lay the feather pen down again, not replying.

orange-plane-boy — 08/26/2021 10:19 PM

"Ah thinking about i disnt even present myself!" He said

"My name is Narancia Ghirga!"

He then poked his tongue out as he tried to write his name, it was wonky, the letters of different sizes and a bit wobbly

"...Yeah not the best but i never went to school haha"

purplecraze — 08/26/2021 10:22 PM

The bird took the feather up once more and wrote 'The bird doesn't have a name, call it what you like.'

orange-plane-boy — 08/26/2021 10:23 PM

"Oh cool- hold on- whats -your- name mr ghost?" He asked squinting his eyes aa he finished eating the apple he shared with the bird

purplecraze — 08/26/2021 10:25 PM

'Pannacotta Fugo', it wrote in a very neat font.

orange-plane-boy — 08/26/2021 10:25 PM

"Like the cake???" He tried to not laugh, after all he was named after a fruit

purplecraze — 08/26/2021 10:27 PM

the bird pecked his hand.

orange-plane-boy — 08/26/2021 10:28 PM

"Ok ok sorry!" He murmured

"...can i know why we are talking via magical bird and not face to face?"

purplecraze — 08/26/2021 10:29 PM

it held the feather for a while, probably considering what to write.

'It's a risk I don't want to take.

You're not cursed, but I am.'

orange-plane-boy — 08/26/2021 10:31 PM

"...Yknow, i think a week ago i wolunt belive it but the magic bird messaging and how people freaked out is aready a good proof. Soooo, is bad education asking someone how they got cursed or??"

purplecraze — 08/26/2021 10:33 PM

Yes, it kinda is. And so the bird only wrote 'messing with black magic'

orange-plane-boy — 08/26/2021 10:34 PM

Yeah that sounded like a good way to get cursed

"Uh cool- no i mean, not cool for you of course! But like, cool as magic is cool? I guess?? Nevermind-"

purplecraze — 08/26/2021 10:36 PM

'is there anything that you'd like?'

orange-plane-boy — 08/26/2021 10:40 PM

"Umh- dunno i was kinda busy...not dying to have hobbies" He laughed

"I guess i just like to chill? Im kinda good with animals and fixing stuff tho? I kinda like birds too pff, your pet is really cute. Oh i kinda used to play the harmonica but i had to sell it for some shoes a couple of years ago and i cant read the notes i kinda learn by trying till i get the song"

purplecraze — 08/26/2021 10:43 PM

the bird hopped over to a small silver bowl that was on the table. the metal started to bubble and shrink into itself, forming like some kind of clay. it kept doing that for a few minutes, until it had formed itself into a harmonica.

orange-plane-boy — 08/26/2021 10:45 PM

"Woahh!" Nara looked at it

"Thats so cool!!" With a bit of hesitation he grabbed the harmonica, blowing it

"Ah ok sorry that was off-" He giggled awkardly and then tried again, playing some short folk song

purplecraze — 08/26/2021 10:47 PM

from somewhere within the house, Narancia could hear the same song resound. Only it wasn't the sound of an harmonica. The same melody was played on a piano.

orange-plane-boy — 08/26/2021 10:49 PM

A duet??

He took another breath and keept playing, making sure to not miss any note

"You are really good!" He exclamed when the song was over

purplecraze — 08/26/2021 10:50 PM

there came no reply, just the bird sitting on the paper.

orange-plane-boy — 08/26/2021 10:51 PM

"You welcome!" He replied a bit sarcastic

purplecraze — 08/26/2021 10:52 PM

yeah, sorry Nara, he won't allow himself to warm up to you so easily....

orange-plane-boy — 08/26/2021 10:55 PM

Fair

The boy looked around, before thinking that, magic or not, maybe he should at least wash the dishes since he was an unwanted guest

purplecraze — 08/26/2021 10:58 PM

whatever he was doing, Fugo let him do as he pleases. the bird followed him along, though.

the items in the kitchen that had been a mess before had now been fixed..... except for the items that Narancia had attempted to fix. Those were left untouched.

orange-plane-boy — 08/26/2021 11:02 PM

He put the harmonica in his pocket and got in the kitchen,

looked around till he found the soap and then took off his jacket, pulled up his sleeve and started to wash, luckly he didnt made too much of a mess, washing dishes was one of the few job that would hire people like him so he kinda knew how to handle it. Of course he was pretty sure those plates were waaaaay more expensive than the ones from some shitty inn

purplecraze — 08/26/2021 11:07 PM

somehow, holding the plate so tentatively, it felt weird. As if it SHOULD be broken, but it isn't.

Being in complete pristine state, it still looked absolutely miserable.

For someone alone in a castle, plates at a bustling inn must hold far greater value....

[bonzo2024]

Joker 2019 x TDK x Helluvaboss fanfic

Arthur and Js helluva time in hell

J= ledger joker

Arthur = phoenix joker

Joker x Helluvaboss fanfic 

Chapter 1: Welcome to Hell

“It’s over joker!” Batman yelled at J. “In your dreams… I think we’re destined to do this forever.” J screams over the whirring sound coming from a portal that him and Arthur accidentally opened. “What the hell do we do now?!” Arthur cries clinging on to J’s arm. “We ah, we jump.” J replied with a little uncertainty in his voice. “Are you crazy?!?!” Arthur questioned him only to get a glare from the other clown. “Is that even a question anymore ?” J giggled. “We jump on the count of 3!” Arthur started crying as J held him in his arms. “1… 2… 3!” Arthur and J both started screaming like babies as they fell to what they thought would be their death. The two chaos makers finally landed. “Maybe we really should have listened to batsy for once…” Arthur said to J his voice traveling as he looked around him. “Hey ah Arthur.” J said. “Look at that!” He pointed to a huge sign that said welcome to hell! “I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.” J grabbed Arthur’s hand as they started walking. They then made their way to a 3 story building and entered. They made it all the way to the third floor only to be greeted by a wolf. “Hello and welcome to I.M.P.” She grumbled. Then a tiny little demon ran into the room followed by another. “Well hello there! I’m Millie this is my husband Moxxie and this our hell hound Loona!” She cheerfully stated to the two clowns. “Hey I’m not just a hell hound.” Loona stated as another, slightly taller demon came flying in the room through the wall. “ yeah she’s my daughter!” He said hugging her. She then smacked him off her arm. “Only on paper… y’all don’t deserve to know my name. “Where are my manners at? Hi I’m Blitz the o is silent and I am the founder of I.M.P! Are you a piece of shit who got yourself sent to hell or are you an innocent soul who got pushed around by someone when you were alive?” He questioned Arthur and J. But before they could reply he grabbed a book and continued talking. “Well with our companies special access to the living world we can take care of your unfinished business from when you were alive!” 

Chapter 2 : kill the Batman 

“What do you mean by unfinished business?” J asked “Blitz”. “Oh haha basically we go up to earth and kill whoever wronged you when you were alive.” He explained. “Wait a minute… Aren’t you two the Joker…s? “ Moxxie ended up asking. “Why would you be here? Can’t you just kill someone yourself?” He said to them. “Yeah, but we aren’t alive anymore.” Arthur told him. “Yes… yes you are! You didn’t actually die you fell into a portal which led you here!” Moxxie said. “But we’re in hell!” Arthur said. “But we jumped into a portal!” J told him his patients starting to run thin. “Whoa you’re still alive?!?!” Millie asked. “What is it like up there? She asked gazing up at J. “Millie!” Moxxie cried. “What it’s a human! You’d wanna know what operas up there are like!” Millie argued. “I-touché.” Moxxie agreed. Arthur looked out the window and turned to them and said: “honestly not anything different than what it is here in hell.” Arthur admitted turning back to face the others. “Anyway you said you can go up and killhumans?” J asked Blitz. “Yeah but you … a…. You have to pay.” Blitz says to him. “Wait a minute sir.” Moxxie intervened. “These two are supervillains they could ask us to blow up an entire city full of innocent people! I mean we’re not just going up to massacre and if they really wanted us to they”- 

“Moxxie shut the f*ck up. “ Blitz yelled at him. 

“Sorry about him he has a smooth brain,

haha. “ Blitz said to J trying to lighten up the situation. “What now?” Moxxie asked. “Augh!!! I’m calling you stupid Moxxie why can’t you learn to take a little criticism you talentless, baby, Troll!” Blitz told him. “OH YEAH? Why don’t you take an art class!” Moxxie yelled. “WHY DONT YOU SEE HOW EXPENSIVE THEY ARE!” Blitz screamed back. “Calm down Mox you’re gonna have another panic attack!” Millie told him. “I AM CALM!” Blitz took a deep breath and continued his conversation with the two clowns. “Who do you want us to kill?” Blitz asked the one dressed in purple.  “The Batman.” J replied. “Yeah nope never gonna happen. “ Blitz said turning his back. “I’ll pay you  ten million dollars. “ J said holding out the money. Blitz turned back to him snatching the money out of J’s hand. “DEAL! Where’s the location?” He asked. “Gotham city.” J replied. Blitz then pulled out a megaphone and yelled: “M&M GET IN HERE WE ARE GOING TO GOTHAM!” He laughed at the end of the sentence. Moxxie poked his head in the doorway. “Gotham city?” He said worriedly. 

“GOTHAM CITY!” Millie yelled with excitement. “SHUT THE F*CK UP!” Loona yelled from the other room. 

Chapter 3: human disguise

“Alright shut your a**holes this is how we’re gonna do this sh*t!” Blitz says to everyone. “First we have our fun murder time as per usual, next we put the body in a boat, then we light the boat on fire to attract sharks, maybe even a goose f*ck it and then we go back to hell.” “Any questions?” Moxxie then raises his hand. Blitz then calls on him. “What was that?” He asks. “That’s not a question.” Blitz replies. “And that’s not a plan.” Loona then buts in. “Hey is there anyway I can go with you guys this time?” She asks. “No sorry sweetie we can’t risk you getting hurt. You know the FREAKS up there who drool all over you teenage goth girls.” Blitz tells her. “Well I can fit in easy enough. “ she tells him. “Do you have a human disguise ?” Millie asks. “Yeah don’t you?!” Loona asks the tree imps. No reply. “You three have been screwing around on earth this entire time… WITHOUT HUMAN DISGUISES?” She yells. “Okay new plan! Loona will lead the targets to us and we’ll take care of the rest!”

Chapter 4: the bat cave 

“The Jokers escaped again Harvey, if we don’t stop them who knows what they’ll bring back with them in that portal.” Batman says. “Oh Batman.” Arthur calls from behind him. “Looking for us?” J asked an amused grin on his face. “Jokers, how did you get in?” Batman asked. “Now you should know that a good magician never reveals their secrets. “ Arthur chirped in response as he pulled his gun on Harvey.  J walked towards Batman a grin on his face so big it could make the Cheshire Cat run for his money. “Hi.” He states. “Why are you here? You’re garbage that kills for money.” Batman grumbled. “Don’t talk like Harvey because you’re not him. I think the real question you should be asking is … where’s Gordon and his family. “ J tells him. Meanwhile Moxxie, Millie , and Blitz were waiting for Loona to arrive with the Gordon family. “Go ahead Mox just shoot!” Millie told him. Moxxie stood with a gun in his shaking hand trying to aim at a family photo. “Why are we doing this again?” He asks. “Whatever the client wants they get! Millie chirped back. “But why a family? I could understand a shitty dad… but a whole innocent family?” “Hey we don’t know they’re innocent! The mom probably food poisons people, the dad shoots horses, and the kids set dogs on fire for fun!” Blitz says. Moxxie tried to imagine his dad being the picture and fired. That’s when they heard a car pull into the driveway and Loona saying that Batman was inside waiting for Gordon and his family. “QUICK HIDE!” Blitz yelled and they all three darted in different directions. 

Chapter 5: Finale

The door opened and Gordon along with his wife and two children walked in. “Stay here.” Loona said. “I’ll tell him you’ve arrived.” She made her way into the other room. “M&M were you guys hiding?” Blitzø asked. “I’m in the cardboard box!” Millie whispered. “I’m in the closet sir.” Moxxie said to the two Imps. ���Aww we except you Moxxie.” Millie joked to her husband. “No like I’m literally in the closet.” He firmly stated. “Love is love bro.” Blitzø said making the other two cringe. “Alright.” Loona signaled. “They’re here!” 

“Why did Batman need you to come here again?” Gordon’s wife asked. “Said the Jokers got ahold of my DNA.” He replied. “We’re all in danger.” A crash startled the family as their heads darted up to see the three I.M.P’s. “Whoa, what are you?! A leprechaun?” Gordon’s son asked. Blitzø approached the family. “Yeah, pretty cool huh? He asked before firing a shot at the child. “But you sure as sh*t ain’t gonna tell no one!” Gordon’s wife screamed as their sons lifeless body hit the floor with a thud. The front door of the building opened. “We made it!” J called as he and Arthur walked trough the door. “You… you did this!” Gordon said. Arthur giggled as the two approached the police officer. That’s when there was a crash. Batman flew through the window. He landed right in front of the two smaller Imps. “Oh crumbs.” Moxxie muttered as him and Millie took off running. Blitzø reloaded his gun and fired numerous shot, none of them hit Batman. “He missed!” J told Arthur. Meanwhile Millie and Moxxie headed in separate direction in search of a hiding place. “This should do.” Moxxie said hiding behind a box that read Budlight. “Perfect.” He said drinking an entire bottle. While blitzø continued firing shots and throwing knives at the caped crusader a very drunk Moxxie stumbled out of his hiding spot. Millie picked him up after he took a tumble. “Moxxie!” She giggled. “Millie! Hey, hey where’d you get four heads? I wanna kiss ‘em!” Batman while dodging bullets and as always fighting the Joker flew by. “Oooo bat!” Moxxie said. With a switch of his utility belt Moxxie was tied up in ropes. “Oh crap!” Blitzø yelled. “Wait… why do I hear boss music?” Arthur asked. Millie jumped on Batman and cut the ropes that bided Moxxie. Batman fell after being shot in the shoulder by Blitz but by everyone’s surprise got back up. “It’s over Jokers!” Batman yelled. He then gasped and winced in pain with a knife sticking out of his abdomen. “Ya got something sticking out of your,uh, your thing there.” Blitz told him. Batman fell forward as blood leaked all over the ground. “Moxxie?!” Moxxie got off Batman and stabbed him as seamed as 100 times. “Hahahahah BLOOD!” He yelled in excitement as blood sprayed all over the wall. Arthur turned around and blew chunks everywhere. Millie tired two more shots which ended Gordon and his wife’s existence. “LETS GO WE F*CKING WON!!!!! Blitz screamed as Loona opened the portal. Back to hell. And the entire incident has never been spoke of since. 

[hanabeeri]

officially going back to studying :,) i want to revise the old material at some point next week. this week i want to revise classic japanese and japanese linguistics. two days ago i failed my oral exam in japanese. the man i had to talk to was so kind :( i wish i would have rememered his name, but i was so nervous, haha. before we started he asked 大丈夫？im not sure if he asked everyone or if he asked specifically because i was blanking out. i was so perplex, i didnt realize he was talking to me. when i did i went あ、はい大丈夫です🥺🥺🥺 near. tears. he had such a clear pronunciation, too. unfortunately i just had to get the task that i didnt revise.. karma, you could say. i was hoping to get the task where id have to talk about anime, haha. because i actually studied the necessary extra vocabs to talk about one piece. i was ready on all levels to tell my professor and the japanese man about luffy and the strawhats and shanks and the one piece and ace... :,) 物語は、モンキー・D・ルフィと彼の仲間、麦わらの海賊の冒険を追っています。彼は伝説の宝物である“ワンピース“を探します。 and if he would have asked why he had to look for the one piece i would have told him about the promise with shanks, and if he would have asked about how it ended i would have told him how oda sensei didnt finish it yet ｗｗｗ as you can see, i was fully prepared but not for the task i had received. i apologized to the man so often... and i was so softspoken it was embarassing. if you think the uwu voice is annoying you havent heard me talk in japanese when i go できればご都合いい日に変更させていただけめせんか🥺🥺🥺 in retrospect i am cringing. i am crying. i am throwing up. mister man i am so sorry AHAHAHAH i swear i am normal.

oh well, no use dwelling on it.

its time to go back to studying :))) <3

if you thought i finally stopped i must disappoint you i am still very much in my lil peep mood. i did not know what a nookie was until i listened to his song. now i do. i dont know if thats a win but it sure brings me closer to c2.

[pesterloglog]

Davepetasprite^2, Jade Harley

Act 6, page 8003-8007

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < JADE!!!!!

JADE: d-

JADE: davesprite???

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < B33

JADE: youre alive!

JADE: and... very different :o

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < its davepeta actually

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < and yeah i am different!

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < got this whole other person mixed up in me

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < her name was nepeta

JADE: ohh...

JADE: wow!!!

JADE: im so happy to see you, even if you have gone through some uh... pretty big changes!

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < yeah!

JADE: so what are you doing here?

JADE: are you asleep too?

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < nah im awake

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < and like "actually here" and stuff

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < guess i just decided to fly away up to the sun like a fucking piece of garbage after all

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < like i always said i would

JADE: haha

JADE: you did?

JADE: i dont remember that

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < yeah i said stuff like that sometimes

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < jade i used to be fairly depressed

JADE: yeah...

JADE: well i DO remember that

JADE: you seem to be in pretty high spirits now though :)

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < yes im doing fucking phenomeownal

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < but fur real im not actually here to visit this sun

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < i flew here as a point of reference to get my bearings

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < im actually on my way to go fight lord english

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < have you s33n him

JADE: no

JADE: ive spent the last... however long, hiding from him actually

JADE: with calliope

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < who

JADE: shes my new friend!

JADE: well, i guess one of two new friends by that name, technically

JADE: one of them is presumably back with our friends now

JADE: the other just... quite literally flew away up to the sun

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < like a fucking piece of garbage???

JADE: NO :P

JADE: she is quite dignified and aloof as a matter of fact

JADE: i sincerely doubt she has ever done ANYTHING like a piece of garbage

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < ok heheheh

JADE: anyway if you want to find him

JADE: i would guess all you have to do is follow his trail of destruction

JADE: see the cracks?

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < oh yeah

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < good point

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < guess i could sniff him out

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < except i dont know what he smells like

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < but i guess i do know what some people who will be NEAR him smell like

JADE: like who?

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < vwiskers, for one!

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < also supposedly a staggering dick ton of ghosts

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < ill just smell around for where the ghosts are all at

JADE: sounds like a good plan!

JADE: jeez dave i...

JADE: or davepeta rather

JADE: i missed you so much :(

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < awwww

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < sorry harley

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < id say i missed you too but it was barely a day ago i last saw you

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < this version of me i mean

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < i made it all the way through the thr33 year voyage with you

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < guess the one who made the trip with you wasnt so lucky huh

JADE: no

JADE: he and john died not long after we departed

JADE: i was so lonely

JADE: but i dont feel too bad now that i know it all worked out, and their deaths were just part of something bigger going on

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < right johns absurd time hoppy mission

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < so fuckin glad some non dave dude could finally grab the reins on the time travel bs

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < and i guess im purrsonally so grateful to him because without his succession of handwavey dorkstunts i wouldnt have become davepeta which is literally the best thing either of us has ever b33n!

JADE: thats great!

JADE: its so nice to see youre happy now

JADE: even if technically i never got to be a part of that journey for you

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < but you did

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < ive got a lot of different dave memories in me and theyre all part of who i am now

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < including the memories you contributed to

JADE: oh...

JADE: cool!

JADE: so what were things like in the timeline youre from?

JADE: how was our trip together?

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < it was good mostly

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < kinda turbulent i guess

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < but that was mostly on account of me being a miserable bird douche

JADE: haha

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < oh also we dated for a while

JADE: WHAT? :O

JADE: omg

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < it was nice for a while but then i put a stop to that

JADE: why?

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < s33 again: bird douche

JADE: wow

JADE: i cant believe i missed this :(

JADE: even if it didnt go that well

JADE: its still something i would have gladly taken over the loneliness of that trip

JADE: i cant even say how much i thought about you both

JADE: and to hear that you and i actually...

JADE: *sniff*

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < B??

JADE: im sorry dave...

JADE: davepeta...

JADE: i guess calliope is right, this must be part of my path

JADE: as a space player... someone who "falls back" as she said

JADE: maybe being pushed aside by fate, and like

JADE: being deprived of important people and experiences

JADE: no matter how painful it is, or how much you feel like you need them

JADE: i guess thats just how it goes for us

JADE: i think i never appreciated how much of a burden your aspect was to you

JADE: but i think im starting to get it now

JADE: it just took a long time to figure out what mine really meant

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < so THATS what space means?

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < bein lonely??

JADE: thats a bit of an oversimplification!

JADE: but i think that can be one of the results of gaining a deeper understanding of it

JADE: or becoming connected to it more...

JADE: i dunno, this stuff is all pretty mysterious :p

JADE: i dont have it all figured out yet obviously

JADE: i just feel pretty sad that as i get closer to understanding my abilities and true nature

JADE: it apparently means being deprived of some important experiences

JADE: like i get closer to my aspect, but further away from everyone i love, and further from...

JADE: feeling like a person?

JADE: its just a really empty feeling after a while

JADE: empty like...

JADE: space i guess

JADE: heh

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < but you werent actually deprived of important experiences

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < stuff like us dating and johns stupid birthday parties and playing shitty ghostbuster mmos

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < that stuff all happened to you, its just you dont have access to the memories

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < they didnt happen to shape this particular version of yourself

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < but they all played a role in helping like "greater jade" grow if that makes sense

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < everything that ever happens to every version of you is an important part of your ultimate self... like a superceding bodyless and timeless persona that crosses the boundaries of paradox space and unlike god tiers or bubble ghosts or whatever, it really IS immortal

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < but in your physical form there are all these partitions in your mind that prevent you from remembering any of that which makes your existence f33l totally linear

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < which is probably for the best!

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < in a regular body s33ing all that would be too overwhelming

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < in an advanced sprite form like mine tho its fine

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < i guess the same spritey magic that makes it possible to suddenly understand so much is also what makes it possible to make it bearable all at once

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < not even just bearable actually sorta liberating and cool

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < and after it sinks in for a while you start coming to this understanding of a greater self

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < maybe i "got it" quicker though because of the two people i was and their aspects

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < understanding heart is all about the nuances of a distributed self

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < nepeta never got to make much headway with her aspect but shes finally gettin the chance

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < the time aspect is all about running into different versions of yourself so you kinda get confronted with it in a really literal way that can be disturbing

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < obviously davesprite stuggled with that too, but now its fine

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < hes fr33 from worrying about it all and what it means for his place in reality

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < because he can s33 now all his selves have relevance in painting the full picture of who he truly is

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < im not COMPLETELY sure because im not like some sort of ASPECT MASTER but

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < my avian slash feline intuition tells me that all roads will lead you here eventually

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < gaining the d33pest possible understanding of any aspect will bring you to the same final conclusion about your ultimate self

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < so maybe thats starting to happen for you too

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < the space aspect sounds like a hard and lonely road to travel... i think they probably all are

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < but youre gettin there jade

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < you are doing great and im so proud of you!

JADE: :')

JADE: thanks davepeta

JADE: i really cant believe it

JADE: you sound so different... but youre still dave in a way

JADE: its hard to say how happy it makes me to see you doing well

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < yeah likewise!

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < i mean assuming you are doing well

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < ARE you???

JADE: i... think so

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < hey what are you doing out here anyway

JADE: im asleep

JADE: i want to go join our friends and help out

JADE: but im not supposed to wake up :\

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < why not

JADE: i dunno

JADE: im just not!

JADE: calliope said i was too strong or something

JADE: but she also said i should have "fun" so

JADE: i dunno

JADE: i guess im just waiting around for the right moment

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < nah thats dumb

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < you should be able to do whatever you want

JADE: really?

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < well at least she was right about the having fun part

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < maybe thats what she meant??

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < maybe she was leaving it up to you in a mysterious way

JADE: leaving what up to me?

JADE: the decision to wake up?

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < sure why not

JADE: but i dont know how!

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < i do

JADE: .....