#haha look at this thing look at how ridiculous it is (affectionate)

[nick--knack]

Top 5 tanks?

Oh boy.

If there is one thing that I absolutely love, it is tanks that look goofy. Tanks that are, in the words of @the-history-chap, a bit of a fucked up creature. There are a bunch which I could think of and it was a little hard putting together this list, choosing only the best of the best without this list running on forever, but I hope it was worth the wait.

5. the Antonov A-40

When dropping a tank from the sky, while doable at a very low altitude there are several inconveniences such as the vehicle needing to be in a certain gear lest it break and the crew needing to be dropped separately which burns time for deployment. As such, there have been several attempts to create a flying tank - one of which being the USSR's own Antonov A-40. Designed by a man named Oleg Antonov, the Antonov A-40 is built to glide from the air onto the battlefield with the crew already inside of it which would reduce the deployment into war by mere minutes

The Antonov A-40 is essentially just a T-60 but with wings attached to it. The wings are detachable and built to fall off once it hit the ground and in order to be light enough for air use, its armament, ammunition, headlights, and almost all of its fuel is removed. Some sources say that even the turret is removed aswell. A test flight which involved it being towed by a TB-3 bomber was conducted in 1942 but even with all its modifications, the A-40 shown itself to be far too heavy leaving the project to be abandoned.

Regardless of whether or not the tank could fly, the A-40 still has its issues. The deployment of the tank could take extra time due to having to shed its wings and since the fuel and munitions are taken out of the tank those things would have to be airdropped separately. In trying to invent a tank that would deploy quickly, Anton ended up creating one which would likely take the same amount of time if not more with more inconveniences. Apparently the T-60 itself isn't that good of a tank either, though I don't really know anything about that one so I don't have anything to say about it.

I totally understand why someone would create a tank like this but at the same time, there is something inherently funny to me about a tank with wings. The Japanese also tried to make a flying tank called the Maeda Ku-6 (So-Ra) however not only did that tank also look ridiculous but it too was a failure. Regardless of that, I would love to see a tank that can not only fly but work efficiently.

4. the Tsar Tank

The early years leading up to and during WW1 were the most fun in terms of coming up with new and wacky designs for tanks but the Tsar Tank really takes the cake in terms of weird and wacky. Designed by a small team, this massive hunk of machinery is an entire 30ft in height and requires a crew of 10 people to operate. According to the memoirs of Lebedenko, one of the engineers, the inspiration for this machine came about from Turkic carts which he noticed were able to easily traverse bumps and ditches thanks to their large wheels.

In January 1915, Lebedenko presented a wooden model of the tank to Nicholas II and the two of them played around with it a little. The tsar was enamoured with how easily it was able to roll across the carpet and over books, so much so that he personally funded the project with over 210,000 roubles and kept the wooden model.

Only 1 was built and it didn't take many tests before the tank proved itself to be unusable. The biggest issue with the tank is that, with the balance of weight being very important in these machines, the Tsar Tank puts all its weight onto 3 small pressure plates thus making it very easy for the tank to get stuck in soft ground and mud. And it did get stuck almost immediately at the start of its first test run. Not even having the most powerful engines at the time - two Maybach engines - were enough to pull it back out. Time and time again, it would go through failed test after failed test until September 1915 when the project was cancelled and any attempt to pull the tank out of the test area weren't successful. The tank was guarded in its test site until it was abandoned due to the outbreak of the Russian Revolution, then dismantled for scrap in 1923.

I love this thing it looks so absurd. I'm sure if I was some poor German bastard on the eastern front and I saw this massive hunk of machinery slowly rolling towards me I would shit myself. Why in gods name is it built like that? Ohhhhhhh it is so shape. I absolutely love it. I wish that the original wasn't disassembled because I would kill to see this thing in real life in all its absurd glory.

3. the Renault FT

While there were many different tank designs sprouting up with the idea of armoured warfare spreading across Europe, there are very few whose designs would prove to be revolutionary and be used as a reference for tank designs in the future. One of those tanks was the light tank Renault FT, with its configuration (crew at the front, engine at the back, and fully revolving turret) becoming the standard tank layout.

The Renault FT is a French tank designed by a man named Louis Renault, who began working on the idea in the late December of 1915. Whereas the previous tanks at the time were designed to be large and heavy, the engineer behind the design of this vehicle wanted to create a small and light tank that could maneuver better, be harder to hit, and could be fielded in large numbers. Of course, thousands of these tanks were ordered but most were not finished until after the war and as a result these tanks ended up being exported all over the world. The Renault FT was in service all the way till the Soviet-Afghan War.

The first time that the Renault FT was deployed was on May 31 1918, only 6 months before the end of WW1. It was used by French forces and the American Expeditionary Forces (AEF) and played a central role in the offensives of 1918, giving it the name "Victory Tank".

I like the Renault FT because it is very cute :). I really wish I had more to say about it, though, and I actually made one awhile ago. 10/10 tank, would ride.

2. the toaster tank A7V

After the first British tanks appeared on the Western Front in September 1918, the Germans were quick to invent something of their own much like it. Something big. Something metal. This is when the A7V came into existence and let me tell you, this tank was very bad.

Designed by Joseph Vollmer, this giant hunk of metal requires at least 18 crew members to operate but often times they were sent into battle with as many as 25 on board. The engine of the tank is situated right at the centre of it, giving off noise and toxic fumes and the amount of ammunition that it carried only further reduced the space inside. The driver had very poor vision. The "body" of the tank sitting so low to the ground and the overhang at the front makes it difficult to cross bumpy and muddy terrain, leaving the tank to mostly ride over flat terrains and roads where it at least there it can be used to its fullest potential. I guess that the powerful engine and 6 machine guns peeking out of it on all sides made it a real force to be a reckoned with but with all these limitations it has and its ridiculous appearance I just can't imagine it that way. No wonder Germany didn't consider this tank a success.

Even though the A7V is generally considered better designed due to its British counterparts, the goal of building 100 of these tanks was impossible to reach due to its complexity and cost. As a result only 20 were built, each with their own unique little features as they were built by hand and with great quality. The British gave this tank the title "moving fortress" for its appearance, being big and boxy and yet surprisingly fast. Ultimately, with having such a little impact on the battlefield, the A7V was more of a propaganda tool than an actual machine of war.

This tank fucking sucked, but it sucked in a funny way which is why I like it. I will give the Germans some slack, though, because it was made during a time where people were still trying to figure out how to build tanks but when your tank requires 18 people to operate I think you should start reconsidering some things. I also like calling it the toaster tank because of that one tweet which I redrew. I love the A7V. Very funny.

1. the Burstyn-Motorgeschütz

I'm sure you saw this coming. It's on my banner after all and I even wrote an essay on it once in the past, though that was a very long time ago so I shall write a second one. My #1 favourite tank of all time is none other than the Austro-Hungarian Burstyn-Motorgeschütz.

The idea for the Motorgeschütz first arose when an inventor named Günther Burstyn went on a torpedo boat trip with his brother whom was a marine officer. Burstyn was impressed by the ships speed, power, and protection and began to think of the idea of a land vehicle with the same qualities which could be used for warfare. It should be armoured, capable of off-road maneuvers, and be able to cross trenches. This idea crossed his mind once more as he went to an exhibition in Vienna and witnessed the Austro-Daimler Panzerautomobil, being one of the first armoured cars in history. He saw the potential, but at the same time thought that the four small wheels were a big limitation as it wouldn't be able to cross rough and muddy terrain - something that was essential to be able to navigate in a battlefield. Burstyn then moved one last time, travelling to Trento where he would witness heavy guns equipped with caterpillar chains to reduce ground pressure. All of these experiences combined would lead him to create what we now know as the Motorgeschütz, designed in Austria in 1911.

The design of the Motorgeschütz is very simple, and the reason for that is because its blueprint actually lacked a lot of detail. Due to this, the only thing that Burstyn was allowed to patent were the arms as those were the only detailed parts of the Motorgeschütz. From what we can gather, though, the design of the Motorgeschütz is surprisingly sleek and "modern-looking". Inside the turret two gunners would sit with their backs to each other as a third, the driver, would sit in a compartment behind the turret and pass on rounds of ammunition to the gunners. In that area is also storage for fuel, oil, and the ammunition.

The most distinct part of the design is, of course, the two arms on each side of the tank. These arms are movable and would help the vehicle overcome various obstacles, the front arms being operated by the front gunner while the back arms are operated by the crew member in the rear compartment. Unfortunately, the way that the levers are installed would make them hard to reach with the turret in certain positions. Whether or not the arms would even help the vehicle cross obstacles in the first place is a question that still remains as balancing the weight of a tank is a very important thing and lifting it in such a way would mean that the weight would be transferred to one side, causing the tank to sink into soft or muddy ground.

This project of Burstyn's never became popular, first taking it up to the Austrian War Ministry only to hear back from them 3 months later that they didn't want to fund it as they had very little faith in the design. If Burstyn wanted the vehicle to be built, he would have to pay out of his own wallet and, of course, he did not have the money to do that. Burstyn then went to the German War Ministry, but they turned down the design aswell. Both war ministries were stuck in their conservatism when it comes to warfare but they also didn't like how vague the blueprints were and how there were no specifications for things such as the engine or guns. In one last attempt to get his project to gain traction, Burstyn went to the press but as expected, nothing came of it.

As a result, the Austro-Hungarian army went to war without a single armoured vehicle. They had some armoured vehicles but there were no tanks and as Burstyn considered taking up his offer to the War Ministry one last time, he felt that he would only be rejected and so he didn't.

I fucking LOVE the Burstyn-Motorgeschütz so much and I always will. It is my son. My special little boy. My baby. The simplistic and sleek design makes it look very charming and the little arms on the front and back give it a special flair which adds to its originality. Additionally, it's from Austria-Hungary, one of my favourite historical countries which just makes it even more special to me. I actually have a model Motorgeschütz, though I haven't started building it yet because I'm worried that I'm going to assemble it wrong due to it being a much older model than what I'm used to but I'm sure I'll get to it one day.

Honourable Mentions

Bob Semple tank - A tank designed in New Zealand by a man of the same name during WW2. It had no formal plans or blueprints, numerous design flaws, practical difficulties, and was never once put into production or used in combat... but none of that matters because believe me, the Bob Semple tank is the epitome of tank design. It is covered in impenetrable corrugated iron attached to its tractor base and even has a mattress inside that the gunners can lay on. Now that is a luxury. Do you know of any other tank that has a mattress that you can lie on? I didn't think so. None of these tanks have ever been lost in combat because its just that unstoppable and the Japanese were so pants-pissingly afraid of this machine that they didn't dare step a foot on New Zealand's soil lest they be utterly eviscerated by its sheer power. It doesn't even need a main cannon like so many other tanks do, instead only needing 6 light machine guns to effortlessly mow down its enemies in the blink of an eye. You may hear people say "Nooo the tiger is much cooler" or "Wahhh the panzer is the better tank" but what is a silly little cat to a GOD? Every single tank built after the creation of the Bob Semple had been naught but a weak attempt to capture even a fraction of the majesty of this magnificent metal beast. Ok but really though, the Bob Semple tank holds a special place in my heart as it's the very first tank that I ever took a liking to. It's so hilariously awful and atrociously bad, being a literal armoured tractor, but that's what makes it perfect. My favourite part about this tank is that, even while it was being ridiculed by the public, its inventor stood by his design and said something like "Well I don't see anyone else coming up with any better ideas so whatever."

Landkreuzer P.1000 Rattte - This tank is massive, weighing a hefty 1000-tons which makes it heavier than five Panzer VIII Maus. Its a staggering 36ft in height with a width of 46ft and a length of 115ft if we're only measuring up to the hull. It's insane to me how someone could unironically design such a massive tank, let alone approve of the project attached to it, and yet Adolf Hitler did. Of course, the project was cancelled by Albert Speer in early 1943 but if not then it could've been the biggest tank that Nazi Germany had ever built by far. Of course the flaws of this thing would be obvious, given that its so large that it would be vulnerable to air and artillery attacks and destroy everything in its path including roads and bridges, but I think it would be even funnier if it was built only to simply not work at all setting Nazi Germany back even further with that massive waste of resources and thus making them lose the war even harder. Hell, this thing is so absurd that some historians straight believe that the P.1000 Ratte is just a hoax or sketch made by a bored engineer for their own amusement. It's so ridiculous but thats why I love it.

Medium Mark A Whippet - It was actually @spoopi-natural who introduced me to this tank through a past ask and I immediately fell in love with the design, thinking it looked very silly. The whippet is a British tank which was designed to speed through enemy lines and exploiting any breaks in them and although it looks more modern than the Mark series of British tanks, its directly based off Little Willie - the very first completed tank prototype in all of history. The Whippet first rolled out into the battlefield in March of 1918 and proved itself to be very useful in combat due to its speed. It wasn't without its downsides though, as driving the tank had proven to be hard if not outright dangerous and machine guns would often jam. Still, a very nice tank.

If you got this far, thank you so much for reading. I had a lot of fun answering this question even if it took me a long time to get around to doing. Also, if you find a funny tank that you think I'd like PLEASE show me it, I would love to see it.

[cvnt4him]

this been on my mind for awhile 😭

so like subby Izuku but he has a slight dominant side when he gets aroused with his girlfriend who is a switch 😚

NEVER. Be afraid to tell me your sinful ideas on izuku. He is literally my pride n joy. I have SHITTY writers block rn n can't think of anything but when I tell you I jump out of my seat for this shit. Fuck writers block you're getting this shite NEOW.

Who knew studying with your boyfriend would lead to him whimpering under you, grabbing at your waist and grinding your hips down onto his hardening cock.

He initially did intend on simply studying with you, honest, however you are his weakness, the one thing that makes him act up. [Besides when someone mentions all might] so yeah of course when he seen you in tight booty shorts that hugged you ass and your tank top that lifted over your tummy slightly, he knew it was wraos for him.

You knew it as well, he was very easily excited. Just staring at him too long might make his cock jump in his shorts. You guys had been studying for about 2 hours, just the two of you in his all might merchandised room. Alone.

Sure you had been dating for a year, but it doesn't matter how long you guys have been dating to him he'll always get so easily flustered like you two had just met. It was adorable how easy he was to tease, he loved it even when he told you he hated it.

You groan loudly slamming your face on your notebook hardly causing him to jump and shoot his worry filled eyes over to your slumped body.

"haha... How about we take a break."

He tells you, rubbing his hand down your back soothingly, earning a small sigh from you. He chuckles to himself as you turn to look up at him head still laying on the desk.

"yes please."

He pulls your chair closer to his so he can hold you, wrapping his much larger arms around your figure. His hand landing on the back of your head and rubbing his thumb across it. Laying his chin atop of your head with a content sigh.

He was happy like this. With you. There was nothing or anyone that could take you away from him. He loved just sitting down with you and having little movie dates alone, when you got little moments like these to yourselves. You were home for him. Despite everything you've been through together throughout the last years, he'd do it all again just for you to be like this In his arms.

The warmth that began to be created by your two bodies flushed together soon vanished, a low groan leaving his mouth as he opens his eyes and looks down at you questioningly, why had you pulled away?

You look up at him with a smile and kiss his cheek softly. His eyes widen as his pouty lips turn into a weary smile, he was flushed like a strawberry, his reddening face growing hotter by the second. Little affectionate things like that meant everything to him. He doesn't intend to get this flustered, especially because you two have been dating for about a year, but he can never seem to help what you do to him.

You pull away before going back into pepper plenty of soft quick kisses across his warm flushed baby like face. A string of giggles and laughs escape the two of you, he chants and tells you to stop but you both know he doesn't mean it.

Once you finally stop the two of your laughs trail off with a sigh. He looks down at you with love filled eyes as you stare up at him with just as ones. You chuckled lightly and kiss his soft, warm, slightly dry lips. His eyes flutter shut as he sighs into the kiss. Neither of you pulling away, just living in this one loving kiss. The passion in it was so beautiful he could feel the butterflies in his stomach start to flutter in a ridiculous way.

You straightened yourself up to pull him deeper into the kiss, moaning slightly as you wrap your arms around his neck. His hands find themselves in your lower back trailing down to your waist as he holds you tightly.

The kiss grew heavy, heated, the way your bodies tried to move against each other but being held back by the separate chairs you two sat in. Your hands on either side of his face keeping him close to you. He grips your waist like his life depends on it, slight harshness coming from it.

Izuku couldn't stand not being able to hold you closer than what you are. He picks you up by your thighs making a squeak leave your throat, he carried you all the way to the bed and plopped down on top of you, your legs wrapped around him subconsciously. The kiss not breaking even once throughout this.

You pull away from the kiss to catch your breath izuku tries so hard to follow your lips, not wanting to be apart. You lick your lips and stare up at him with lidded eyes, you bit your lip and traced some of the freckles on his cheek with your finger. He looked down at you with a pouty look, making you chuckle softly to yourself.

He lays down completely on top of you his face burying itself in your boobs. He closed his eyes and just relished in the warmth your bossom provided to him. Blush rushed to his face when he slightly opened his eyes to see your perfect boobs squishing his face, he planted soft kisses on to them before he began sucking hickeys beginning to form at each spot he suckled on. He traced his tongue over them, slobber and spit making them sticky and wet. You hated the feeling but loved to watch him lose his mind over it.

He pulled your shirt down, your boobs spilling out the top and onto his face. He moaned and shook his head in between your boobs making you giggle. He moved to your nipple and began sucking on it like you had milk to provide, the harsh sucking making your nipples perk up in his mouth, the tip of his tongue kitten licking and prodding against your nipples earning a breathy moan from you.

"wan you sho' bad."

He tried to speak. His speech being muffled by your boob in his mouth. His bit down lightly on your boob making you wince.

You hadn't noticed at first, but he began grinding his hardening dick into your thigh, groaning from the light pleasure it gave him. Brushing his clothed cock against your warm thighs was starting to get to him heavily.

You pushed him over onto his back and began straddling him, getting on top of him and keeping your bossom in his face so he can continue to suck to his hearts content.

You scratched his head while you played on top of him giggling at how cute he is. You decided to take the liberty in ending his suffering which he clearly was by grinding into his effect cock, earning a low groan from him, the muffled groan that came from him vibrating through your body.

You put both your hands on his chest, making sure to keep your boobs in his face, so you can ride his clothed dick completely. Saying this didn't feel good would be a lie, this felt like heaven. Your cunt throbbing on top of his twitching cock. It yearned to be buried in your velvety walls, it wanted to find home in your warmth.

You continued the hump of your hips and closed your eyes, letting the pleasure take over you completely. Izuku stopped suckling on your boobs to look up at you, the sight he seen was enough to make him blow his shorts. He choked back moan from your blissful expression, trying so hard not to cum his shorts and embarrass himself.

Little did he know you wanted him to, it was a pleasure knowing that you made him feel so good to the point he'd cum his pants. He squeezes your hips and snaps his hips up into you and cums his shorts with a whiney moan, he breathed as if it were his first time. His chest rising and sinking in a rhythmic motion.

"f-- fuck!"

He choked out into the crook of your neck as he raised up to bury his face into it, his breath fanning the pit of your neck and making your face warm up. A shiver going down your spine from his hot breath touching your skin. He breathed in your scent and rolled his eyes shut and let the Aftershock of cumming take over him. He felt good, he had you in his arms and he'd came his pants---

Holy fuck he'd just came his pants. God he was so embarrassed. His eyes shot open and he tensed under your touch before a chuckle left your lips. Fuck you were sure to bully him. He had just cum his pants from simply making out.. and sucking on your tits... and well dry humping, but still. It was embarrassing and there was no way you'd let him live this down! It's not his fault though, he has such a sensitive body and he gets so hard when you so much as glance at him the, what else was he supposed to do? not cum his pants?

He tried to justify his actions in his head as if he'd just killed somebody. You grab him by the hair and look down at him from his lap taking in the sight. He had a flushed face and glossy eyes, he was so red and embarrassed he was sure he was going to die. He wanted to. He wanted the earth to swallow him whole.

"you're so beautiful."

You whisper down to him making him even more red as if that were even possible. His lidded eyes squinted as he tried to hide his face from you only to his surprise, be pulled back up by you.

You kiss his lips and begin taking off your shorts, standing slightly to get them off completely. You lift up to shimmery his shorts and boxers off. You look down to see the huge wet patch in his all might themed boxers where he soiled himself, he's still a bit dizzy from the breathtaking kiss you'd just given him, however he manages to look down at you and see the way you eyeball his still hard cock with a giggle.

He whines with a pouty look which catches your attention. He really was such a spoiled brat, you might just have to get him out of that another time, [hinting to a part two] as for now you were going to fuck his aching cock for all he was worth, and boy does he have alot to give.

You pull his boxers down in one swift motion crawling back on top of him before slamming yourself onto his thick leaking cock. He choked on his spit and let out a strangled moan he threw his head back instantly not expecting to be met with your warm welcoming walls that quickly, you bounced up and down in a repeated motion, convulsing walls massaging his thick cock each time you went down. You pushed him down completely onto the pillows letting him feel the pleasure you have to give.

He squeezes his eyes shut, tears prickling at the corner as he grabs into the sheet beneath you two. He tries so hard not to cum on the spot but he just can't seem to hold it all back, his thick precum leaks inside of you as you grind down onto his cock, moaning lowly as you try not to be too loud, but all hopes for people not hearing you is thrown out the window the second yku start back bouncing onto him.

He lets out such a pornographic moan, honestly pornstars would envy the sounds he let out in such high pitched ways. His back arched up into you as you put your hand on his chest to try and balance yourself, he thrusts up into you subconsciously trying so desperately to reach that peak of pleasure his body wanted to grant him.

You open your eyes slightly to see his fucked out expression, tears had started streaming down his cheeks as he drooled, he sniffed and bucked his hips up into you throwing you off guard, the rhythm that you had set had begun messing up. He hated how hard it was for his hips to meet your own, an annoyed whine escaping him as he groans and stops fucking up into you.

He shoots his wide eyes open and grabs hold of you, quickly pulling out so he can, in one swift motion spin you two around to put you down on your stomach. You couldn't even get a word out before all of the air was knocked out of your lungs by his cock intruding your insides in a painful thrust. He groaned while entering you at a berserk pace.

Izuku was never rough or this feral, but God it was absolutely insane the things you did to him how you managed to make him feel the way you arched you back and threw you ass back onto his thick cock, the stretch that always came with his cock was so delicious, he was jackhammering his cock into you while he tried so hard to not close his eyes. He wanted to watch you duck yourself back onto him, he wanted you to whine and beg when he left you.

He loved the way you arched your back, yet it seemed as if you weren't completely arched. It ticked him off. He put one of his large hands on your back and pushed your upper body down into the pillow, lift one of his legs to get a better angle to fuck you in. That was it, the way desperate grunted moans left your mouth was sinful.

The way you were limp against his cock yet still trying hard to fuck yourself back into him, it was all getting to him. Your body was so lewd and sexy he felt as if he couldn't hold onto his seed anymore he longed for it to be planted inside of you, the thought of all of his warm thick sticky cum settling inside of you was so dirty and hot to him he couldn't contain the way his hips stuttered and how his seed, his kids threaten to spill out of his throbbing cock head that kissed your cervix in the best way.

His muscles had started to tighten and feel slightly sore, he had been jackhammering into you at an intense pace for about an hour, it had started to get to him, but he wouldn't let that stop him from making sure you were fucked dumb. He groaned in pleasure and anger slapping your ass harshly, a red blotch starting to form in the area. He continued to slap your ass seeing the effect it had onto you, your ass jiggling against his pelvis the way he bucked into you and slapped your ass, it was hypnotic.

His eyes roll back as his eyebrows knit together, he was growing tired and was so close to cumming but he would, not yet.

Izukus sweaty chest leaned onto your back, his breath fanning your ear as he struggled to keep everything in, he was losing his composure and was starting to feel everything inside of him trying to unravel. His cock twitches inside of you as he moaned sluttyly inside of your ear, fuck the aay he moaned like a bitch was always so hot. He whines and whimpered for you and began begging for you to let him cum inside of you, to bury his seed in your warm welcoming hole.

"please please please let me give it to you, lemme give it t'ya.. please baby please!~"

You groaned one last time before squirting around his pretty cock, his cock wasn't too long but boy was it thick, so thick that when you squirted it just sucked him into you even more. He heard you hiccuping underneath him whilst letting little groans and moans out, your body was limo but he managed to hold your hips up enough so he could finish inside of you. The way your walls started to squeeze and choke his cock was insane, your juices started to squirt all over his lower abdomen making a moan rip out of him, and with that he came undone, all the cords in his body unraveling and making him shoot his hot cum inside of you. His eyes crossed as his tongue looked out of his mouth, he was just as fucked out as you and he was the one doing most of the fucking.

You were to fucked dumb to even comprehend what was going on, you're not even sure if you actually allowed him to cum inside of you. You couldn't get any words out, hell you could hardly even form a coherent thought. He collapsed onto you, all his weight weighing you down into the bed. You let out a groan once you felt his heavy body slam onto yours, you couldn't begin to care though, you were sweaty, hot and tired. Your eyes had shut long ago but it took his warm body landing onto you and cuddling close into yours for you to ultimately pass out.

He whines above you, his cock being overstimulated by your fluttering walls. He twitched inside of you while shutting his eyes. He was actually basically baby trapping you unconsciously and unintentionally. His cock plugged you till despite softening, you couldn't push him out and he had passed out before he could even attempt to take it out.

You were sure to be pissed in the morning and he knew and thought about that before lassing out above you, but that's a problem for another day.

[candy616]

Souvenir from the Battlefield 💖

~Phillip Graves x fem!Reader~

❌NSFW ❌ MDNI ❌

I wrote it because you asked me, love @xxavengingangelxx 💖 I'm sorry it's a pure disappointment though.

Y'all are invited to witness my embarrassment of a work. @bellgraves 💖 @rekakamado 💖 @phillip-graves-wife 💖 Please feel free to ignore even if I tagged you, my lovelies.

Warnings: An extremely UNSATISFYING (you've been warned) smut scene, a poor writing of a fifth grade, unsafe knife play (don't try this at home plz), not exactly about a knife play though, I don't know what is it all about to be honest… huh.. Slice of life maybe? I'm no Milton, but this isn't Paradise Lost either. Please don't throw stones at me. I wrote this instead of sleeping haha.

You've been dating for almost a year now, but you still lived in his penthouse that Graves barely could call a home before you appeared in his life and made this place much cozier. Before you've met, he practically lived in HQ, bases and hotels all over the world, not thinking much about having his own place. His place has always been on the battlefield. Graves didn't even have any hobbies, his passion laid only for one thing: making a difference in the world. And he was damn good at it. But being the Number One comes with price - he could never feel at home anywhere. Yes, Shadows were his home, but it was different... Until he met You. You changed his life completely. He found himself craving for more than battles, he started to want his own family, his own home. And You became that home for him. You've planned to buy a huge house, a mansion maybe, somewhere far away from city. A sweet secret place just for the two of you. But this was a rough and busy year. The war was everywhere, no rest for the wicked. And less he could do for now is trying to get home as soon as possible every time. Just like today.

Another quiet, lonely evening, you were sitting on the couch, wearing your nightgown, almost ready to go to sleep, staring at your laptop, mind absorbed with your boring work routine, trying not to think that you have to live without your ridiculously handsome bf for three days more, unable to even contact him this time due to the mission. You were so frustrated and immersed in the screen, you didn't hear someone approaching from behind.

“Honey, I'm home...” His hands were on your shoulders.

You shrieked and jumped, your heart pounding in your chest.

“Phil?! What the Hell?! I thought you are returning only in three days! Why didn't you call me? I would have greeted you properly! God, love... You scared me to death but I'm so happy you are home!” You immediately threw your arms around him, embracing him tightly.

He chuckled hearing your excited babble.

“Sorry, babe. I couldn't call. I came to ya as soon as I could. Besides, ya've been complaining 'bout the lack of excitement, so I thought I could deliver." He grinned, revealing his adorable little fangs. You let out a small, infatuated sigh and leaned into him. His eyes darkened, and he grunted, pulling you closer with his strong arms, holding you tightly in a bear like hug. He leaned in and began kissing you passionately, devouring your mouth as if he were a man starving, making you melt immediately and completely. He kissed you for a few minutes, filling your mouth with his tongue and saliva, not willing to let you go. Eventually, he sighed and loosened his grip, gazing into your eyes and gently stroking your hair. "Damn, babe, I missed ya so bad." His arms squeezed you tightly as he held you close.

“I missed you more... I wish you'd never leave me ever again.” You looked at him and noticed how pale his face was. He looked extremely exhausted. “Jeez, Phil, you need rest. Now.” You took his hand and led him to the couch, making him to sit down.

“Yes, ma'am.” He plopped down heavily on the sofa, leaned back, closed his eyes, stretched out his legs and sighed. You stroked his cheek affectionately, looking at him with love and sympathy. Your poor man deserved a vacation.

“What would you like to eat, love? We have everything you like.” You asked, already pouring him a glass of favorite, extremely expensive whiskey.

“I'm not hungry, sweetie. Well, 'cept for ya, as always.” He grinned showing his fangs again, making you want to drop everything and just take him. But you contained yourself and continued pouring whiskey, wanting to add some ice. “No, no. No ice, sugar, give it to me.” You handed him the glass and he downed it in one gulp.

“Wow... That tough?”

“Ya have no idea, sweetheart” He smirked, returning the glass to you for another one. “Well, I had t' push myself a li'l harder t' return to ya sooner. Definitely worth it.”

“You have no idea how happy I am to see you, love. But I don't want you to exhaust yourself like this...” you gave him another glass, this time with ice.

“So, ya sayin' I shouldn't come back sooner?” He takes a sip and looks at you slyly.

“What? No! You know I didn't mean it like that.”

“'Course, I know, darlin'. C'mere.” He pulled you to sit on his lap and kissed your forehead. You put your hands around his neck and started to kiss his cheek, going down to his jaw and neck, ending on his ear. You bit it and licked it, listening to his satisfied groans and feeling his hands roaming around your body, groping your butt and pulling you closer. You whined softly, nibbling on his ear harder.

“You smell like war.”

“Yeah, sorry, doll, I haven’t changed, went straight home.”

“No, I love it...”

“Ya love it, huh?” He smiled amused and, suddenly you felt something cold against the back of your neck.

“Don't move, sweetheart.”

“Phil...? What are you doing?” You froze, a bit confused.

“Just don't move, hon, alright? Ya wanted a bit of excitement, so I’m gonna give ya some. I'm just playing with ya. You trust me, right?” The tip of his combat knife started to trace down your neck, grazing your skin slightly, not breaking it.

“Of course, I trust you, love. Always. But... Are you going to cut me?”

“Ha! Cut ya? Never. I'd rather cut off my arm than hurt ya, sugar. I'm getting off on the blood of my enemies, ya know me. But seeing my sweet little girl bleed would be such a turn off. So, no, I'm not gonna cut ya, sweetheart.” He started to cut the back of your nightgown to trace your spine down further, giving you goosebumps and you shivered slightly. He stopped and put away the blade.

“Shh... I said don't move, darlin'. Not even the slightest. This thing here is extremely sharp. Don't go makin' me sad, and hold perfectly still, ya hear?” He kissed your forehead again and waited for you to nod. You relaxed your body leaning against him completely.

“Good girl.” He continued to move the knife down your spine, ripping your nightgown and pressing your body tightly to his chest with the other hand. You shut your eyes, trying to hold your breath.

“What if I want you to cut me?”

“Ah-ah. No way, sweetheart. I won't do it, even if ya beg me... Though, I'd like t'hear ya beg right now. C'mon, sugar, beg me.”

“Please...” You whined.

“Please what, sweetheart?”

“Please, love me, Phil.”

He growled loudly.

“My fucking God, baby girl. What are ya doin' to me…” He grabbed you and lifted you, turning you around, your back pressed against his chest now. One hand was around your neck, holding you gently but firmly, the other was pulling up the edge of your nightgown, his fingers caressed your abdomen lightly, slowly going down. His mouth pressed against your ear, the hot breath burns your skin, making your squirm, as he whispered.

“Oh, I'll love ya. I'll love ya so fuckin' good, baby girl.” His fingers started to stroke you slowly.

“My, my, ya're so wet for me, babe...”

You let out a loud moan, quickly covering your mouth with your hand.

“Oh, no, no, no, my darlin'. Lemme hear every sweet sound ya make...” He removed your hand from your face.

“On second thought, ya know what? Suck on it. Like a good girl, c'mon.” He put two fingers in your mouth and you started to lick and suck on it, making him growl.

“Fuck, hon, what a good, obedient girl I have here, huh? Good sweet thing...” You leaned back on him, whimpering and melting while he was stroking you with one hand and making you suck on his fingers with the other. He hadn’t touch you for two months so you were absolutely ecstatic right now, moaning loudly, your eyes rolled back.

“Good girl, good girl, my good little thing...” He stopped stroking you for a moment, shifting his hand to open up the zipper of his jeans and pull out his hard shaft. He started to grind between your butt cheeks, continuing to stroke your hot wet spot. Your breath hitched when he slid his thick finger into your core firmly and start to move it, caressing you inside. You moaned louder as he stretched you, adding the second and the third fingers, praising you, kissing your temple tenderly, his other hand groping and feeling your breasts, pinching your nipples occasionally.

“Alright, now...” He lifted you slightly and guided his length inside you, making you sit on him offhand with one swift motion. You whined and started wreathing, but he stopped you.

“No, no, sweetheart, don't you move. Stay perfectly still for me. Stay good girl for Daddy, yeah?” He held you firmly with his arm, and taking the knife again. “Now, I want ya not to move an inch, or we'll stop this. Understood?”

“Yes, love.” You whispered, out of breath.

“Don't hear ya, darlin”

“Yes, Daddy” You said louder.

“Atta girl, sweetheart.” He kissed your temple again and opened your legs wider with his knees. You both panted, moaned and sighed with every little motion of your bodies.

“Mmm... What a perfect bod ya got here, sugar. Real nice and soft, so ready for me... Close yer eyes, darlin” He murmured seductively and pressed the blade to your stomach carefully, starting to trace it slowly down your sensitive skin. You held your breath, trying not to move, as soft, muffled moans escaped your mouth.

“Do ya feel it, sweetheart? Do ya feel my hard love inside and outside? All over ya, hm? Ya like it? Ya like it, my darlin'?” The blade started to trace your inner thighs so slowly and teasingly, making it almost impossible for you to not flinch, but you managed to stay still.

“Say it.” His now rough demanding tone forced your mushed brain to focus on his voice.

“Yes, ah... Yes, I love it so much!” You whined in reply.

“My good girl.” He caressed your cheek tenderly. "Oh, my, babe, what a mess, what a perfect girl for me...”

You looked down and saw an embarrassing sticky puddle leaking from you. The sight of it made you even hotter, shutting your brain down completely. You closed your eyes again, feeling his left hand holding you across your body steadily, and his right hand slowly dragging the knife along your breasts now.

“That's right, love, ya're so good for me. Keep staying still, don't want to hurt ya even a bit. So good for me, my girl.” He grunted, bringing the knife to your neck and pressing the flat of the blade slightly against your throat. You held your breath and froze completely.

“Now. Do ya wanna say something to me, sugar?” He kissed the crook of your neck, sill pressing the blade gently. You moaned and took a deep breath.

“I love you, Phil. I love you so much.” You whined needlingly.

“Fuck, babe... I love ya more. Ya're my whole damn world, ya hear?” He took away the knife and lifted you up rapidly. His shaft slid out of you with a loud squelching sound and you let out the dirtiest moan possible. He grunted and laid you down on the couch, getting on top of you immediately. “I'm going to fuck ya so nice, babe, ya won't be able to walk for good two weeks.” He growled right in your ear, crushing you under him and nuzzling your neck. Then he stopped, his breath hot on your skin.

“Phil…? Love?” He didn't answer. “Honey...?” The only response was the sound of his calm, deep breathing. You turned your head and looked at him. Your poor exhausted love was sleeping soundly. You chuckled and hugged him tightly, letting him sleep on top of you. “Goodnight, love.” You kissed his cheek and closed your eyes. He mumbled something making you laugh a bit. You kissed the scar on his other cheek and fell asleep peacefully, your arms around him.

…………………………………………….

P.S.: Graves woke up in the middle of the night, extremely horny and fucked you silly, cumming inside you and making you cum for 3 timed in a row. Then he lifted you up from the couch and brought you to your bedroom, fucking you again in your bed. You both fall asleep in each other's arms, completely drained but satisfied. You woke up in the afternoon and took a shower together, trying hard not to start fucking again. One of the Shadow security detail brought you breakfast in bed. You were naked, covered with only a thin blanked. Both the Shadow and you were embarrassed, while Graves were grinning slyly. What a lovely bastard :c

🌸The End🌸 

[missoneminute]

you may have spoken about this before but is there anything that surprised you about p+c when you met them for the first time? :)

Hello! Yes! For sure. I’ve said before but I’m happy to say it all again any time.

The main thing is that Peter is TALL. You know he’s tall but you’re never prepared for how tall. Whatever you imagine - he’s bigger. He’s a giant. His hands are like soft bear paws, his head is a planet, his huge, beautiful eyes should be on a large deer. He’s just absolutely towering in every way. Which is always surprising somehow because he has such a soft aura. He’s very softly spoken, very gentle, so there’s a certain disconnect. He’s also very much on his own planet. I’ve met him both at some of the darker points of his addiction and well into recovery, and it’s safe to say he’s just a space cadet by nature. You never know if what you said went in or not - if it did, he will suddenly snap to attention like he’s come hurtling back to earth and engage you with a really childlike sense of wonder. If it did not, he will stare at you blankly and just… wander off. I’ve twice had him do things like just say “well bye!” And wander off after a long, awkward pause haha. Which I’m fine with - I love that he’s a law unto himself, and it makes the times you connect with him all the more special. He also has no filter. If you give him a gift he doesn’t love, he will fucking tell you about it lol. But same goes that when he loves it, he’s so sweet and complimentary. I’ve been giving him antique silk cigarette cards - which he collects - for six years now and he really loves them. For instance last time in Manchester he told me they’re “better than heroin”. Like. He will just… say things haha. There’s also no middle ground - he will either give you the sweetest hug where he collects you and squeezes you or he will give you a side hug like you’re infectious. It’s literally utterly dependent on his mood haha. But ya know he’s his own country, you can’t take anything he does personally because Peter will do whatever Peter does and the world outside him has little impact on that. He’s very charming and charismatic of course, very funny too, and just so naturally eccentric. He has that vibe, you know… that vibe people have who are just blessed by something bigger, something fated. Now Carl… the thing that surprised me about Carl is that he’s so WARM. Like he may be the warmest person I’ve ever met. He’s so, so attentive, so so kind, so utterly sweet and just so deeply affectionate. He’s like that every time and with everyone. He hugs like no one else on earth. When that man embraces you it’s so fucking real. Like I don’t want to sound ridiculous but he just hugs people with such immense love. He HOLDS you man. It’s crazy how he never turns that off and how he can be that way so constantly. He always knows what to say, he fills every weird silence, and he works very hard to make people comfortable. I’ve never met anyone who radiates so much pure and endless warmth. It’s truly so beautiful and while I think a lot of fans know he’s like that now, I feel like because of all the dark stuff that went on back in the day some people saw him as aloof and unkind and nothing could be further from the truth. I get why people get obsessed with him, I really do. He radiates such gorgeous energy that you want to be around it and you want those magical hugs. Plus he’s an incredible conversationalist - so fast, so funny, so witty and so full of random ridiculous facts. Eccentric too of course. Like I get it Peter, I get it Carl girls. He’s extremely charming and charismatic, much more in person than he comes across on screen. He has a special energy too, something mesmerising. And yeah being real he’s one of the best looking people I’ve seen in person. He’s shiny. Very shiny - beautiful hair, flawless skin, put together so well, and he has that way of moving that beautiful people always do where they sort of just… leave a glittery trail. One thing I haven’t gotten to see is the two of them interacting much - I’ve seen them in the same space chatting to fans and calling across to each other here and there but never full pelt. I think my entire mind would melt. X

[lunariamv]

this is a writing test lol

desc: yandere x fem reader (but hes quirky); obsessive + possessive behavior, manipulation, implied violence

˚➶ ｡˚ Him falling for you was pretty fast. It only took a few interactions between you two to get him hooked, and once he was, he was down bad.

˚➶ ｡˚ Maybe it was in class, or at work, but once he took an interest, he’d start finding himself looking forward to seeing you again with delightful anticipation. Though, that would quickly spiral into a dire need to satiate himself.

˚➶ ｡˚ He’d befriend you as quickly as he can. As he’s a charming personality with a good-looking face, yet down to earth enough that it's easy to trap you in an unsuspecting pitfall. Sooner or later, he’ll woo you into dating him. Incredibly cocky, he’s overconfident in his ability to make you fall for him. So much so in fact he doesn’t feel at all threatened by your potential suitors. Why do they even bother? It’s not like they have a chance when you two are clearly made for each other.

˚➶ ｡˚ That being said, he has a lot of odd mannerisms that confuse you. For one, he has no problem saying grim or odd things with a straight face. To name another, he’s overly interested in everything about you, though you could just write that off as him being a doting boyfriend. It’s nice to have your partner pay this much attention to you. But still, does every girl have a boyfriend who knows their exact measurements by heart…?

˚➶ ｡˚ “Can we hold hands? I have a tendency to get lost.” He smiles nonchalantly.

˚➶ ｡˚ His sudden request bewilders you, and has your brows instinctively furrowing in response. Huh...?? First of all, you’re in an open park. Second of all, does he really have that poor coordination?

˚➶ ｡˚ He’s amused by your confused look. “Come on, if you’re not quick, I might just wind up in another dimension.” Even though he’s clearly joking, he says it with such a sincere straight face.

˚➶ ｡˚ Maybe it’s his stupidly attractive looks, or the ridiculous way he talks, but it inclines you to reach out and take his hand. Whatever odd spell he cast on you with that dumb rizz, it worked. On the inside, he’s smirking with victory. He’s a genius.

˚➶ ｡˚ “My girlfriend, sorry. My girlfriend, sorry. My girlfriend, she… sorry.” Like a broken record, he keeps comedically repeating himself on purpose in front of the stranger that keeps looking at you. The two of you went out, and this random guy tried to get your attention. However, in informing the poor guy about something else, he felt he needed to clarify to the man that you were taken. A lot.

˚➶ ｡˚ He does this often, reminding everyone that the two of you are in fact dating. It’s one of his favorite hobbies, to your embarrassment. With how much he says it, you’re pretty sure the entire world knows by now.

˚➶ ｡˚ He’s also very overly affectionate. He’s a degenerate, so he likes holding your hand quite a lot. Often, he’ll surprise you by hugging you from behind or placing a hand over your eyes. He enjoys everything from head pats to kissing. Honestly, he just likes any sort of physical contact. Any excuse to touch you, he’ll take it without hesitation. More often he’ll say the dumbest things to win your affections, like the getting lost thing.

˚➶ ｡˚ Extra: if he’s like the gamer/internet guy type, he’ll ironically call you weird pet names or his “waifu” just to confuse you/freak you out like “Oh my god, it’s (Y/N), my precious waifu~~~~!!!”

its foreshadowing cuz he wants to wife u haha

˚➶ ｡˚ He’s very stupid, but that’s part of his charm. Though, he does have his 10000 iq play moments.

˚➶ ｡˚ He’s not really the violent type of yan. Contrary to his dark jokes, he’d rather not get his hands dirty if he doesn't have to. He’s a funny man, not a fighter;;

˚➶ ｡˚ Which means he’s more of the manipulative type, which requires a ‘sharp intellect’ and smooth moves. It’s a multi-step program to get to you, as he’s constructed. First he’ll befriend you to gain your trust, second is getting to know every single one of your friends, and then finally winning over your parents (or guardian). Bonus points if they tell you they think he’s husband material. 

˚➶ ｡˚ By carefully intertwining himself to so many aspects of your life, it’ll be much harder for you to leave him.

˚➶ ｡˚ Not sure why you’d ever want to leave him for anyone else anyways. After all, he’s a self-made man… talented, kind, a good cook, and he’s always looking out for you. He’s so sweet! Just marry him already!!!

˚➶ ｡˚ Though, perhaps he might’ve paid someone to push you in harms way once or twice, but really… that’s nothing but baseless conjecture.

˚➶ ｡˚ If he somehow ever does get driven to maybe, I don’t know, ‘off somebody’... He’ll be extremely careful, but he’ll also have some fun with it. 

˚➶ ｡˚ That friend of yours with a mild crush on you? The poor guy had an axe-ident. The creep hitting on you at the store? He took a trip and had a good fall…..

…..Onto an active sawblade HAHA WOOPS

˚➶ ｡˚ He really likes to make you laugh and hates to see you upset. He’s always trying to lift your spirits with his dumb jokes and playful, childish personality. Though, he also enjoys saying and doing the wildest things to get you flustered. There's just something so fun to him about being a rat and catching you off guard.

˚➶ ｡˚ As long as he pretends to be a ‘normal’ boyfriend though, and keeps his darker infatuation under wraps, the two of you will be together for eternity. He’s done a good job so far, as you don’t (or hardly) suspect a thing.

˚➶ ｡˚ Though, should you ever get an inkling of suspicion, or he’s unfortunate enough to make you fully dubious of him, he’ll brush off these notions very easily. Gaslighting must be in his genes, because he’s crazy good at it.

˚➶ ｡˚ He cares about you so much, so it truly hurts to see you so wary around him. What reason do you have to suspect him? Lovers need to trust one another. People make mistakes, can’t you forgive him for being just a little bit selfish?

˚➶ ｡˚ And even if you find yourself distrusting him, exactly who’s going to believe you? He has your family and friends wrapped around his finger. If you so much as imply that your loving boyfriend, the friendly neighborhood golden boy, the witty man who doesn't look like he'd harm a fly, is actually evil… you'll be laughed off. And if you persist, they’ll start to think you’re crazy. Are you crazy? If that's the case... he’ll gladly play the part as your devoted lover, and make sure to take good care of you.

🔥🔥🔥🔥 i love this type sm

i wanted to try to write one of these, maybe ill write more? idk

follow for more content of a similar nature;;

♡ more writings (in an x-reader series style) on my quotev ♡

[myloveforhergoeson]

ash's november 2024 reading round up

find all the books and fics i read (or didn't read...) this month under the cut with a link to the synopsis and my reviews/ratings attached :)

this is just for fun! i'm not a professional, i just like to read <3

booklist:

despite buying so many books this month. i finished none of them. currently working on funny story by my goddess emily henry....

fic list:

1. assorted works of @partiallypearl/ @praetoravila <3

promise me, i'm never gonna find you fake it

i know you know (i got your heart thumping)

it's nowhere close to closing time ch 2

all over again ch 9

the way you toyed with my emotions this month... jesus christ... from lolive to kogan i love my oblivious idiots in love so much. when i tell you i think about ikyk (igyht) like once a day im being so serious - that is peak lolive to me!!!!!!!!!!! promise me... is just so adorable as well. something about our sweet California girl olive not knowing how to dress appropriately for the winter especially in minnesota.... lord... logan is so attentive!! he loves his gf so much augh!!!! these snippets fuel me while the main timeline lolive are thrust into... whatever they're doing rn... olive's birthday chapter had me in tears ngl. if you need someone to come and beat up her parents, put me in coach! so masterfully written though, the emotions were swirling in my brain ages after i finished the chapter. augh! and nowhere close to closing time... save me... the introduction of the boys were so sweet - it's always interesting to see everyone's takes on majors/areas of study hehe early friendship kogan means sooo much to me... don't worry logan! those glances sure mean something!!!!!! <333

2. assorted works of @selangkir <3

jocy story!!!!

omfggggg god the way you write is just so gorgeous; painting pictures with your words is so hard to do and you make it look so EASY RAUGH!!!!! i really love how you take lucy and jo's typical characterization and flip it, where lucy is a lot more unsure + unconfident whereas jo was the one pushing her to start playing again. i can't really explain why that stood out to me, but i sure loved it!! excited to read more of your work in the future hehe!! <33

3. assorted works of @naquey / @ithinkyouhealedmyheart <3

ghostwriter ch 9-17

30 days of November!!

Drake loves Marnie

Carlos x Reader

such a productive writing month for you - i am so inspired by your creative spirit. the time and effort you put into each one of these projects is clear throughout the work!! wonderfully done and you always leave me wanting to read more... then just my luck a new chapter appears haha! though i'm slowly making my way through ghostwriter, this subset of chapters i read this month had me howlingggg kenonnie (affectionately) make me want to tear my hair out!!!! i love how ridiculous they are and reluctant to admit they like each other (even if i am admittedly team curt... just a teeny bit...) they compliment each other so well! the starstruck chapter was *chefs kiss* in addition, the 30 days of November prompts was such a wonderful way to get to know a lot of the other characters in the story, as well as some of your other characters too!! the flower series is woven together so interestingly + i can't wait to read more!! additionally, i loved getting to know more about drake + marnie in their wedding one shot, it was adorable! idk anything about drake and josh so i'm taking your word as gold on this one... i love them soooo much!! and of course!! your carlos x reader story had me rolling on the floor with laughter!! your take on rames is everything to me.... <3

4. assorted works of @icegirl2772 <3

Take A Shot In The Dark ch 17

AHHHHHHH!!!!!! IT'S HAPPENING!!!!!!!!!! STAY CALM EVERYONE IT'S HAPPENING!!!!!!!!!!!! to be here for this monumental moment in james and kaelyns relationship... wow..... AJFBAJFB im so excited for the next chapters... kendall is going to have to get cool w some things superrr quickly👀 this chapter had everything, action, romance, tension... augh.... like james, i feel similarly about neil. so it was great to see him get knocked around :) love it when my boys get into fights in the name of those they love :)))))))))))))) <3333

5. assorted works of @fiyero33053 / @fiyero0533

promptober one-shot 27!!

promptober one-shot 28!!

hello!!!! once again learning so much about TUA from your stories... prompt 27 was just adorable. had me kicking my feet and giggling and shit. the idea of such a tough guy still being able to get silly and mess around with his daughter.... leading into 28 too! from what i saw of the show, i don't remember diego and allison interacting a whole lot, and i never really got to see them as parents, so this was such a cute idea to bring the two of them together! such a great fall memory together too :)) diego on the phone had me laughing so hard. "[my kids] know when shit's lame" rlly got me rolling! so happy you found a little more inspo from my prompt list heheh!! <33

[ganseybois]

Silly prompt, you’re welcome to take or leave: Buddie goes on their first date but they haven’t kisses yet. Every time they try, something happens: Eddie sneezes, a bird shits on Buck’s shoulder, a secret third thing. Finally they give up, go home, and it happens on The Couch 🛋️ 😘

thank you for the prompt :) i hope you like it, this one was pretty funny to write haha! if you want to send me one, click here!

The great thing about dating your best friend is that the dates don't actually have a chance to feel awkward.

Coming out for Buck and Eddie was different and strange for both of them - Buck eased into it a lot better, whereas Eddie needed a second to figure out his entire life. But once they both got there, once they agreed this was real, it was easy to fall into it. Going on a date was simple - they always hung out alone together, they were always affectionate with one another, so in that sense, nothing changed.

They decided to go for brunch and then a walk through the park. It's on their walk where Eddie has to try and stop himself from poking fun or laughing, because Buck keeps trying to make a move.

It starts the way it always does, nudging one another, their shoulders bumping, but then Buck grabs his hand. Eddie smiles as he does and squeezes it.

Then Buck uses that as leverage to pull him in, tugging him close and smiling gently at him, his eyes glancing down to his lips.

Here it is, Eddie thinks.

"Hi," Buck breathes. And he leans in.

Eddie sneezes right on Buck's face.

"Ah, fuck Eddie!" Buck exclaims, stepping back, wiping his face.

Eddie can't help but laugh, wiping his nose with the sleeve of his sweater. "I'm sorry!" he sneezes again. "Fuck, it's spring you know? Allergies. I'm sorry, sorry." he laughs at Buck's expression, closing the distance to kiss his jaw apologetically. It helps - it makes Eddie's gut twist pleasantly and lights something in Buck's eyes.

"How romantic of us." Buck sighs, and grabs Eddie's hand as they continue their walk.

The second time that they try to kiss, Eddie is the one to do it. They find a bench under a tree and decide to sit for a bit, curled up close. They're talking softly to one another, mostly about Chris, and then Eddie just looks up at Buck, who is so beautiful and looking at them with those gorgeous fucking eyes...

Eddie leans in.

Buck stops him by holding him steady, immediately tense all over.

"Is everything-"

"Shut up." Buck breathes, looking terrified.

"Wha-"

"There's a skunk right behind you."

Eddie freezes. "I thought skunks were nocturnal," he whispers.

"Mostly," Buck whimpers. "But not exclusively."

The skunk comes into Eddie's vision then, in the corner of his eye, walking nonchalantly past them, stopping right in front of them. Buck whimpers again as Eddie tries very hard not to move.

Buck whispers, "He's kinda cute."

"I'm not taking a skunk home."

"I didn't say to take a skunk home, I'm saying that he's cute."

"Right, and what about the cat you made me adopt last week because you went on the adoption center website even though you know how you get about it?"

"Hey, you said you love Fruit Loop!" It's such a ridiculous cat name - they both love it.

"I do!" Eddie exclaims, too loudly.

"Eddie!" Buck hisses, slapping a hand over his mouth as the skunk turns. Their eyes are wide and terrified, but thankfully, the skunk only turns to walk away, seemingly bored with them.

They breathe a sigh of relief.

And then a bird shits on Eddie's shoulder.

"That's it!" Eddie snaps suddenly. "Take me home!"

Buck sighs, but clearly, he can see that neither of them will get what they want here.

Once they're back home, Eddie gets changed and makes some coffee for the both of them, before he joins Buck on the couch. He sighs, leaning back, their shoulders touching, knees bumping.

"At least brunch was good." Eddie chuckles. "Neither of us choked."

"The standard you have for our relationship is quite low." Buck laughs softly.

"Buck, a bird shit on me today."

Immediately going into did-you-know mode, Buck leans forward to take a sip of his coffee before leaning back again, "In some cultures, a bird pooping on you is actually a sign of good luck."

"I don't feel so lucky."

Buck turns his head toward him, a hand moving slowly to Eddie's thigh, squeezing. "Maybe I can help with that..." he murmurs, gazing into his eyes.

Eddie shuffles closer, so their noses brush. "Oh yeah?" he whispers, biting his lip, anticipation sitting heavily in the air, creating a nice buzz under Eddie's skin. "How do you figure?"

Buck smiles gently, before leaning in, pressing his lips very softly against Eddie's.

Finally.

[chloecherrysip]

Now that I've had a few hours of sleep and am marginally a human being again, let's talk about the mario movie some more! SPOILERS ALL THROUGHOUT THIS POST UNDER THE CUT (if you want to see my non-spoilery thoughts and the first part of my spoiler talk as well, here's that post from last night! Be warned that it's pretty all over the place because it was 4:30 in the morning and I was really tired lolol)

After thinking about it more, I truly do have some PROBLEMS with this movie (will talk more about some of that below and I covered a lot of the issues in my first post too) and I do wish it was better overall and not so painfully surface-level with all the character interactions - I can understand why some people REALLY don't like it while others love it! It's joyful and energetic and BEAUTIFUL but if you spent months and months theorizing and speculating about deep character interactions and a very emotional story, it does really sting to finally see how there is virtually NONE of that and the plot feels kinda empty as a result. :(

But! I'm definitely not upset or anything like that, and I'm still gonna see it two more times in theaters with a smile on my face! TRUTHFULLY (and if you've seen my blog before, you know this about me) what I cared about most in this movie was getting to see Mario and Luigi be adorable onscreen and have a good, healthy, loving relationship, and you do get that to some degree, even if it's nowhere near enough. I can make my peace (and write a lot of fanfic, LOL) regarding the rest. :)

Here is a list of moments between Mario & Luigi that made me happy:

FIRST OF ALL, SOMETHING THAT I'M NOT ACTUALLY SURE I LIKED BUT WAS CERTAINLY A CHOICE: Mario's nickname for Luigi is Lu????? He calls him that 3-4 times and at big moments, too. It started to be cute to me, even if I wish they'd gone with "Weegie" or something similar, but it's a little jarring at the beginning for sure.

In general, they are just very physically affectionate with each other! There are one or two quick hugs in the beginning scenes before we even get to the reunion. Also, I can't remember the specifics but the very last scene is them basically teasing/poking each other before running off into the day together and it's cute. :)

Mario is SO protective of Luigi in the Brooklyn scenes and let me tell you, as someone who cares DEEPLY about that, i was LIVING. He gets mad at Spike and tries to pick a fight only when he insults Luigi, and there is also a silly scene with an angry dog and Mario just instinctively puts his arm up in front of Luigi when things get a little scary/focuses on making sure he doesn't get hurt, and I was just having the BEST time. Honestly, I loved the Brooklyn stuff so much that I sincerely wanted the whole movie to just be about that, and things took a downhill turn for sure when the separation happened. :(

Someone definitely predicted this before the movie but Mario hates mushrooms as a food and Luigi likes them. During a dinner scene, Mario is slyly separating mushrooms from his food and putting them onto Luigi's plate in a way that suggests he's done that a LOT. Such a quick shot but I just liked the detail!

THE RUNNING THROUGH THE CONSTRUCTION SITE AND MARIO DOING RIDICULOUS PARKOUR BUT ALSO STOPPING TWICE TO MAKE SURE TO TURN BACK AND OPEN THE GATES SO LUIGI COULD COME THROUGH NORMALLY. There was just something SO funny and sweet about [crazy jumping and leaping] [quiet, thoughtful pause to open the gate] [MORE CRAZY JUMPING AND LEAPING, WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING, SIR] [another quiet, thoughtful pause to open the 2nd gate], I loveeeeee

Once again, just gotta be obnoxious about being right that the dialogue in the warp zone was "nothing can hurt us as long as we're together!" I HEARD THE LINE AS THIS IN THAT PREVIEW FOOTAGE AND EVERYONE CONVINCED ME IT WAS DIFFERENT BUT LOOK WHO'S LAUGHING NOW (i'm sorry, just let me have this win haha)

There is a sad moment where Mario and Luigi's dad clearly doesn't believe in their business and he even says to Mario something like "the worst part is that you're dragging your brother down with you" which is clearly upsetting to Mario so he leaves the dinner table - but then Luigi leaves the table too to come and sit with him and reassures him that he's not dragging him down and it's just a sweet, comfortable moment between them that I very much wish went on a little longer (the theme of the whole movie lol)

(Also, Mario and Luigi still live with their parents and share a room, they're clearly pretty young and are treated like the "babies" of the family. I wish we had seen more of their room other than a very extremely brief shots!!)

Luigi DOES immediately sell out Mario when Bowser goes for the serious mustache damage, LOL, but the way it's done is honestly so cute and once again, just reemphasizes how much Luigi loves Mario XD He's basically like "YES, I know him, he's my brother Mario and he's the best guy ever!" (And then Bowser, who is preoccupied with Mario = romantic rival for Peach's affections, is like "would a princess find him attractive???" and Luigi is like "if she has any common sense, she should!" (lol, that line could be TOTALLY wrong, I don't remember, but that's the gist of it, I promise) or something like that - just hyping Mario up when he's not even there, LOL

in Mario and DK's "darkest moment" scene where things seem hopeless and they're arguing, Mario says something like "well, at least your brother's not going to die because of you!" and noooo, bb, it's not your fault ;; (this scene could have been done SO MUCH BETTER with a few tweaks, btw, but I will get into that)

Luigi bringing coffee for Mario at the end of the movie in their respective cups :) :) :) So simple but I am a very simple person who just wanted to see little moments like this :) :) :)

I have GRIPES with the final battle scene but seeing Mario and Luigi work together and take care of Bowser as a duo was still good!!! Nothing can hurt them when they're together!!!

Also, already talked about this at length in my first post, but one more time: Mario saving Luigi from falling into the lava and their reunion hug is just my favorite moment of the movie, no contest, it goes by so fast and I wish it was longer but I can be happy with that alone and I can't wait for the screenshots/gifsets where I can see all the details of it more clearly and don't have to rely on my awful memory. Literally just going to think about that split-second of Mario holding Luigi's face with both hands in an unbearably sweet, gentle way forever. These brothers love each other very much, your honor ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

ALSO ALMOST FORGOT: FLASHBACK TO THEM BEING BABIES (AND THEY LOOK SO FAITHFUL TO THE ORIGINAL DESIGNS TOO!) AND MARIO PROTECTING LUIGI FROM A BULLY (lol I very much wish it was a longer and/or more creative flashback, but STILL sweet)

AND NOW THAT I AM DONE WITH BEING POSITIVE ABOUT MY FAVORITE BOYS, LET'S ~*~COMPLAIN~*~

First of all, still CANNOT BELIEVE that "I'm not afraid! I'll do anything for my brother" didn't make it into the movie, are you SERIOUS, it would have been perfect in SO MANY PARTS, they recorded it and everything, why???? IS THERE A DELETED SCENE??? ARE THERE SEVERAL DELETED SCENES??? I DEMAND JUSTICE FOR THAT PERFECT LINE, I WILL MOURN IT FOREVER

The editing in general is a little odd sometimes and it really DOES feel like a lot of scenes should be there that are missing. Another VERY weird cut is in the scene where Peach, Toad, and Mario are crossing the bridge with the Cheep-Cheeps and they just immediately cut the scene when one latches onto Mario's face and don't even include the cute stuff from the trailer with Peach trying to help him??? Like, WHY???? WHY DID THOSE FEW SECONDS NEED TO BE CUT??? I DON'T UNDERSTAND

I think one of the most painful things about this movie is that, as a writer/creative person, I can see SO many small opportunities throughout the movie where a couple of extra minutes and some tweaks in the writing would have made SO much difference. An unbelievable amount of difference! The overall structure of the story and the plot is good! The story of Mario wanting to reunite with his brother and Peach wanting to protect her kingdom (that took her in and cared for her when she was all alone in the world) is solid! But they never give the EMOTIONS surrounding these things ANY space to breathe beyond one line here or there, and that is SUCH a mistake and I can't believe no one thought to do something differently here.

FOR INSTANCE: The "darkest moment" scene with DK and Mario! It goes by so fast, but there is some good stuff there that, if the movie took a MOMENT and really let their pain/fear for their loved ones and their shared complex of unsupportive fathers BREATHE, would work SO MUCH BETTER. Like, I can easily imagine a rewritten version of that scene with very similar dialogue but just MORE of it (more pauses, more emotion, more reactions to one another's problems, more recognition of their similarities, etc) would have made it like a DAGGER in the heart. SUCH a missed opportunity. I am itching to rewrite it, LOL. (I am itching to rewrite a LOT of scenes!)

ALSO: Luigi is my LOVE and he is adorable throughout this, but I'm gonna be the first to admit that his scrap of an arc in this movie (if you can even call it that) is so lackluster and his heroic moment at the end genuinely doesn't feel that earned! AND ONCE AGAIN, WITH A LITTLE EXTRA WRITING/ROOM IN THE RUNTIME, IT'S A VERY SOLVABLE PROBLEM

And the solution is: build out the prison scenes and have Luigi actually talking to someone else who is locked up!!!!! Other than a couple of lines and jokes, the prisoners don't TALK TO EACH OTHER and Luigi just spends a lot of time looking sad. We don't get ANYTHING about his thought processes while he's captured other than he is thinking of Mario and hoping his brother comes to save him like he's always done.

WHEN CRANKY KONG AND THE OTHER KONGS SHOW UP, HAVE THEM SHARE INFO ABOUT MARIO'S APPARENT DEMISE WITH LUIGI!!! HAVE LUIGI TALK TO HIM (OR THE PENGUIN KING, OR SOMEONE) ABOUT HOW HIS BROTHER'S ALWAYS LOOKED OUT FOR HIM BUT MAYBE SOMETIMES, HIS BROTHER MIGHT NEED SOME SUPPORT TOO AND HE'S GOTTA BE STRONG FOR HIM TOO

It doesn't have to be a long or especially deep conversation, but some lines of dialogue like this would make that moment where Luigi realizes that Mario is right, nothing CAN hurt them if they're together and he's gotta be strong for his older brother too and he jumps in to protect him from Bowser hit SO much harder. That's all it would take!!!

I HAVE ACTUAL WORK TO DO TODAY AND CANNOT GO ON AND ON ABOUT THE MARIO MOVIE FOREVER BUT LAST THOUGHT FOR NOW: the more I think about the final battle, the more I'm conflicted, haha. The twist of everyone from the Mushroom Kingdom ending up in Brooklyn is definitely SHOCKING in the moment and pretty creative but I don't know, I had my heart set on a more classic version of Mario VS Bowser. It just doesn't hit as hard as it could in the end because of how silly the setting is. :( (But the Mario and Luigi teamup with the power star is great, and the music IS fire) (Also LOL at myself for thinking "Luigi won't fight at the end, that wouldn't make sense since Mario had to train" - he just knows how to fight, the movie goes with what's cool over what's logical and that's fair XD)

Also, the end of the movie is a tad confusing and has some pretty huge repercussions for this version of canon? ARE THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM AND THE REAL WORLD PERMANENTLY MERGED TOGETHER BECAUSE OF WHAT HAPPENED??? That's definitely what it seems to imply with Mario and Luigi waking up in their Brooklyn room and then walking out straight into the Mushroom Kingdom! It's pretty bizarre! (Honestly, what I was expecting was that the Bill would destroy the warp pipes and Mario and Luigi wouldn't be able to go home, which I might have preferred, as sad as that would be.)

That's all I got for now! I'm sure I will have more thoughts in the future, haha.

[invisiblegarters]

Only Friends Ranking - Ep 1

Will probably never liveblog this one because I'm watching with a friend (if you read this you're the best thank you for putting up with me and my crazy lol) and so we mostly talk to each other during. :D Never done that before and I have to say it's already a blast.

So now that I am slightly more coherent and not just flailing about making high pitched sounds and flapping my hands (I believe I can fly) here's how I feel about our characters and their relationshipsI re:

Characters (Most to Least Fave atm)

Sand: As expected, I adore him. He's so tough but such a marshmallow underneath, I worry because it looks like he's signing himself up to get his heard trampled, and much as I enjoy First's tears (me and all of GMMTV I think), I just hate knowing that he's gonna be going through it, haha. Sand protector indeed. Heartbreak sucks and he's gonna feel it firsthand here. I really enjoy how irritated he is 90% of the time but I am worried that Ray of all people is gonna be his bi awakening. Please BL Jesus no. Also I hope he keeps his backbone because one thing I can't stand is a character who gets spineless the second they fall in love. Also please don't make him sing anymore I adore him but a singer he is not. He really does have the look though. Impeccable vibes.

Boston: Second fave right now, also as expected. I just love his slutty, slutty ass. Love that he mixed business with pleasure to mess around with Top again and instead he has to deal with Top setting his sights on Mew. Love that he's hooking up with everyone, no wonder Neo was like "I never have any clothes on" lol. Whether or not he cares about Top as a person, he is definitely feeling some kind of way about Top not wanting a repeat of their hookup (and Top has already told him this. Boston, babe. Either you are smitten or you are just that much of a narcissistic asshole. Could go either way really). I adore him and every ridiculous bone in his body. If they want to bring in a new dude every episode for him to go at it with I would not say nay.

Chueam: I knew she'd be high up on the list because Lookjun, but I would like April to appear please. I love how encouraging she is towards the whole TopMew thing, and girl, I feel you on the "have some fun, get laid, he's hot" thing. Lesbians next ep please

Mew: First surprise for me. I adore this guy. Adore him. He knows exactly what he's worth and he's paying attention, my guys - he clocked Top pretty fast so you can't tell me he's not fully aware of both Boston's and Ray's feelings (still loathe the idea of a RayMew endgame but mostly because the Ray of it all, lol). He's pretty and quiet and doesn't like to party like his friends so everyone assumes he's this naive dumbass (and I mean everyone - I think from Top to Ray to Boston to Chueam they all see him much the same) who doesn't know what he's about, and yet he keeps showing (not telling, this is Jojo at work and I love him for it) that he really, really isn't. Top is going down, my guys. Mew is gonna wreck this man so hard that he's not going to know which way is up and I for one am here to see it go down. If he makes out with Sand a little about it I wouldn't complain (I know, but hey. I can dream).

Nick: I admire a dude who will put a thirst pic on another dude's phone as a come on. I appreciate that he knows what he wants and he's going for it, and I anticipate he's gonna go full on crazy in a way no one expects when things start to go bad with Mr. Boston, and I am fully seated and waiting with the biggest of grins on my face.

Ray: I knew he would be awful, and I am so so happy! I can't tell you how pleased I am right now - he's awful! The way he grabbed Sand's face like he was a prize dog at a show and not a person

(exhibit A)

was pitch perfect, I hate his guts (mostly affectionate). And yeah yeah deep-seated insecurities and probably daddy issues blah blah I don't care. I'm nine thousand percent positive he's only going to get worse and I am here for it. I do like that we can already see exactly how needy he is - he's going to be so needy and I fully expect him to lash out the second he feels like he's needed in return because he's so used to taking, I want to see him and Sand really go at it once Sand gets fed up with the bottomless black hole of need he clearly is (please Sand get fed up with it), especially since it's clear that the only person he's willing to give concessions to is Mew. I desperately want Sand to wreck him but well. I also highly doubt it'll happen. We'll see. I fully expect that I will hate him for real at some point (it's on my bingo card) but if anyone can drag me around to loving him in the end it's Khaotung. Hopefully there's growth in store for him, else he'll get boring very quickly.

Top: Ah, Top. SO OTT that you know he absolutely doesn't mean it. WHen he grabbed that mic I was so terrified. I can barely handle whateverthehell First was doing I can't do Force as well. Please don't put me through it I will cry. He's just...not my favorite. Yes he's a playboy and yes he's gonna say a lot of playboy things and I honestly can't wait to see Mew destroy him.

Relationships (most to least fave)

Currently, I want to know what is up with Top and Sand so badly that it is painful. I desperately want them to be bitter exes but my real guess is that Top fucked around with someone Sand cares about and he hates him good for it, while Top has no clue who Sand even is. My first guess is a relative but could just be a close friend. Sand hates him though, and I love it. I want them to angrily make out about it.

MewTop has me in a chokehold right now, completely unexpectedly. I am not a ForceBook fan - they were cute in Enchante but I had not time for ABAAB so I expected they'd be meh to me. Not so. I'm obsessed. I can't wait to see them implode and for Mew to go full crazy.

BostonNIck: Again, I just think Nick is gonna go off in a way no one expects. It's always the sweet, quiet ones (see: Mew, even though I don't actually think he's all that sweet really).

RaySand: I like their antagonistic thing but I'm really incredibly not here for Ray being Sand's first bi experience, although I think it would make sense for Sand, who is way sweeter than his tough exterior implies (compare this with Mew, who has the sweetest of exteriors but I suspect could easily cut a bitch and not even flinch), to fall head over heels for the first guy who comes along and rocks his world (and whatever else you can say about Ray - and I'm sure I at least will - I'd bet cash money he is very very good in bed). This was honestly the one I thought would have me in a chokehold in spite of myself so I'm surprised to be less invested in it than I am the other two right now. I assume once the angst really kicks in though it'll get me even though I'd rather it not, because the one thing that will always be true about me is I love angst.

Also I was today years old when I discovered that some people think that First and Khaotung have no chemistry. This bluescreened my brain for a good five seconds, lol. Send help.

In conclusion

I really liked the ep. It gave good set up and a good foundation for all the mess that we know is to come, also I lost the betting pool on who Boston was messing around with in the trailer (I hoped Ray, guessed Papang, was blindsided by Drake). I would love to chat about this with any and everyone. because I don't want to annoy my watch buddy too much and yet I am already obsessed and fear I might. I'd apologize for the person I am about to become but well, I'm not really sorry. 😊

I am also very much looking forward to the meta that is going to come out of people much smarter (and less prone to making silly jokes) than me.

Only Friends Era let's goooo!

[vyxed]

Bro, I am BEGGING to learn about the relationship between Froggy, Big, and Ash, I need to know the chaos these three get into (affectionate)

WAHHHHH thank you so much for the interest!!! ;_; This gives me a good opportunity to ramble, apologies if I’m like. All over the place. Coherence is not my strong point HAHA. I'll pop it under a read more, since it's a little long!

So I’m definitely inspired by the fact that Froggy has a tendency to go missing; in official content it's usually through no fault of his own, IIRC? But my headcanon is that he’s SUPER curious. He’s a funny little guy who loves to spend his days relaxing with his best friend Big, but when something sparks his interest he cannot resist the temptation to investigate. Which is how he ends up meeting Ash, a rockstar and adrenaline junky, and accidentally gets mixed in with one of his stunts. Ash endures a lot of cartoony slapstick tryna rescue the little guy, and in the end Froggy emerges unscathed whilst Ash is all beaten and scratched, but looking like he just had the time of his damn life. He hands Froggy to Big who only just caught up to the scene and had been watching the tail end of it in horror, but is still super thankful even if it was kind of Ash’s fault lol. That’s their first meeting!

They become close over time, despite Big and Ash looking like an odd matchup because of their seemingly incompatible lifestyles (Big prefers simplicity and tranquility, Ash thrives in chaos and revelry), but the two come to find that their differences enhance each other's lives. Ash brings spontaneity and fun to a dull day, and Big gives Ash a space to unwind. And Froggy is Froggy, he’s just happy to be here.

I picture them going on ridiculous impromptu adventures every now and then, a day might start out like a normal fishing trip but then Froggy’s curiosity takes over and the other two have to rescue him. Ash has crazy ideas, runs on impulse and tends to wing it, sometimes it works out and sometimes it goes south. Whereas Big has a slower, more contemplative approach and that enables him to notice things that Ash doesn’t. He’s Ash’s foil, but in a good way, he might go along with Ash’s plans, but doesn’t want him getting hurt if it can be avoided! And if things do go south, 99% of the time Big is the one who pulls through and saves all their asses the end hehe

[olichat-reads]

😳

(For the self-ship ask thing)

😳 - How does your f/o fluster you? How do you fluster your f/o?

Okok listen canonly hanta is 177cm which is ALREADY a good 15cm taller than me. Imagine how much taller he'd be aged up. This is important because this flagpole of a bastard WILL abuse our height difference to BULLY me (lovingly but i still hate him (affectionate) for this my god) :')

BECAUSE- BECAUSE- NOT BENDING DOWN TO LET ME KISS. SIR I AM NOT DRAGGING A CHAIR OVER TO KISS YOU NOR AM I CLIMBING YOU LIKE A MONKEY. I REFUSE TO GIVE YOU THE SATISFACTION.

And he'll let me pout and sulk until i'm ready to give up and walk away and stew >:( and THEN HE'D TACKLE ME ONTO THE BED AND FLIP US AROUND SO I'LL BE ON TOP ON HIM. because "you can reach now, yeah?" and he'd have the AUDACITY to look wear that smug fucking smirk and i WANT to be mad but then his expression would just melt into something so adoring and soft and loving and i CAN'T (i get my kiss everytime of course but STILL I HATE HIM)

On the other hand. I'd proooobably fluster him with words of affirmation out of nowhere. Not necessarily on purpose- i'm just easily distracted and have no filter like that haha.

like like if i get to stare at him while we wait in line for overpriced i'd just 🥺 "you're so pretty 🥺. you're so pretty and you're mine 🥺"

him coming out of the shower??? "oh my god sir you are so fucking hot i'm going to die"

just imagine him just waking up looking all seepy with the most ridiculous bedhead i would scREECH- "STOP BEING SO CUTE I'LL BITE YOU"

and look look my man's hot. he KNOWS he's hot. but i think having being more of a background character for most of his life, being openly admired and fawned over at the most random and mundane of times will give him butterflies 🥺💕

✿.⋆Self Ship Ask Game~♡

[insert-this-fire]

My Poly relationship between deadpool x gn!reader x wolverine request is so good! You're right that I meant the movie! I love it especially Logan & Wade were already towing the line of dating then you pushed things over the edge when you came along 😁, all of them only realised when Vanessa mentioned it (⁠゜⁠o⁠゜⁠; Wade's ridiculous nicknames 🤣, his favourite nicknames 😍, Logan doesn't really use nicknames for you because of his self-loathing 🥺, both of them would have a hand on you especially Logan (⁠☉⁠｡⁠☉⁠)⁠!, Logan is protective of them even if you can take of yourself 😤, he spends a lot of time with Wade despite not being affectionate with him 🤭, you noticed his soft look & small smile even though he acts annoyed ☺️, what I expected is their love languages Vs what it's actually is (⁠゜⁠o⁠゜⁠; Wade is the glue 😤, what Wade does whoever is in the wrong after a fight XD, both of them are definitely emotionally constipated 💯, their dates rarely go wrong but you won't change a thing 🥹, both of them would but fail at trying to cheer them up if you're upset 🤭, how extreme both outcomes are if you're hurt 🤕, both of them likes to hide it from you when they're hurt 🥺, you either cook or have takeouts 😅, and they're trying to understand at least 👍 Thank you so much for doing my request because I love it so much :)

Must have liked it enough to send this ask four times! Haha. But I’m glad you liked it!!!

[13eyond13]

Sidoh and Ryuk (not necessarily in a romantic sense)? I thought they could be fun xD

Hahaha nice

SIDOHxRYUK:

Who is the most affectionate?

They're fairly evenly non-affectionate, but Ryuk brought Sidoh back a chocolate bar from the human realm once. And Sidoh can sometimes be convinced to help Ryuk scratch the harder-to-reach itches on his body with his long insect leg things 😅

Big spoon/Little spoon?

Sidoh would be the big spoon, because these arms were made for grabbing ♡

Most common argument?

Ryuk is constantly bewildered by Sidoh's lack of self-preservation, Sidoh is constantly disapproving of Ryuk's recklessness

Favorite non-sexual activity?

Cruisin' around the city together lookin' fly

Who is most likely to carry the other?

Ryuk would carry Sidoh somewhere, possibly out of exasperation

What is their favorite feature of their partner’s?

Hahaha good question! I suppose maybe they both appreciate that each other have wings so they can fly around easily together?

What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?

They actually start remembering each other's names

Nicknames? & if so, how did they originate?

Nah

Who worries the most?

Oh, definitely Sidoh

Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?

Sidoh is way too absent-minded for that. Ryuk remembers Sidoh's, but it doesn't mean he will willingly ever order it for him

Who tops?

Sorry for this, but Ryuk probably would... he's usually the one taking charge, haha

Who initiates kisses?

Uh. Ryuk, because he actually has lips

Who reaches for the other’s hand first?

Sidoh

Who kisses the hardest?

Sidoh is a bit of a lip biter, if that counts as kissing hard

Who wakes up first?

Ryuk. He doesn't like to stay still for very long

Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer?

Sidoh, that's his favourite place to be

Who says I love you first?

Neither of them ever say it, haha

Who leaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does it usually say?)

Sidoh sticks one of his handmade fliers to Ryuk's lunch one day when he is looking for something he lost (that Ryuk probably stole)

Who tells their family/friends about their relationship first?

Sidoh does. He pretends Nu is his friend anyway, and likes to vent about his problems and tell her all about his life sometimes (maybe because she doesn't have any mouth to tell him to leave her alone). Ryuk never tells anybody, especially not Light

What do their family/friends think of their relationship?

The other shinigami are probably just like, weird... Ryuk must be trying to get that notebook from him again somehow

Who is more likely to start dancing with the other?

Well, if the shinigami realm ever had dances then I suppose Sidoh's long arms would be great for reaching above Ryuk's head and giving him a nice little twirl

Who cooks more/who is better at cooking?

Sidoh learned about making chocolate fondue at some point, and gets that going in a shinigami realm cauldron sometimes so he and Ryuk can dip some apple slices in it

Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines?

Ryuk, though Sidoh doesn't usually understand them most times

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times?

Sidoh, and his whispers are ridiculously loud, so Ryuk is always like:

Who needs more assurance?

Sidoh

What would be their theme song?

Uhh... [Two Time by Jack Stauber]

Who would sing to their child back to sleep?

Sidoh

What do they do when they’re away from each other?

Kinda forget each other exist

One headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart

If Sidoh was just a tad more vigilant about protecting his property then like a million human lives could have been spared 😔

One headcanon about this OTP that mends it

...but at least he got to learn about the wonders of chocolate along the way?

[shotorozu]

hello !! I'd rlly like to request Monoma if that's alright! I've had a huge soft spot for him for a while now and I'd love to see more content of him ;v;

anyway! we all know that superiority complex of his is definitely hiding some insecurities, but I also feel like he'd be quite touchstarved too bc of his peers seldom physically interacting with him due to his quirk, yknow?

with that in mind, I'd love to see how he'd handle an s/o who has "physical touch" as their main love language. they can give verbal praise/comfort, but they always get so shy abt it that they prefer giving physical affection to show their love. and maybe combining that with "quality time" being their second love language, they love to just cuddle him or toy with his hands/hair during quiet moments uwu

if you wanna do multiple characters, I'd love to request Shinsou, Midoriya, and Amajiki (separately) for the same idea, but if you'd rather do this with just Monoma then I'm okay with that !! no worries if you don't wanna do all four ♡

thank you if you do this request, and make sure to take care of yourself !! ♡

physically affectionate s/o

character(s) : monoma neito, shinsou hitoshi, midoriya izuku (i cut out tamaki for this one, sorry :[ but i’ll do another part if anyone wants it)

legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns used, strong quirk but the details aren’t specific, reader is a part of 1-A

headcanon type : fluff (and if you squint, then crack)

note(s) : yes i do agree :,) monoma should be getting a little bit more content, and i’m sorry that this came out so late! i was multitasking with other requests (because i took a 2 day absence,,) but this doesn’t mean i don’t read people’s requests

»»————-　♡　————-««

monoma neito

monoma 🤝 bakugou “the pros at sending mixed signals”

if there’s one thing he’s known for— then it’s for the persistent teasing, and his quite obnoxious attitude (especially at 1-A)

but he’s not a terrible person, he sure does have his reasons. and by now, people either choose to ignore him, or they simply knock the wind out of him

so, he was not prepared to encounter someone that was tolerant of him, AND also his type— like.. huh. that’s.. odd

and he was even more surprised when they accepted his wild love confession. there must be some catch to it, right?

so like i’ve said— monoma sends a lot of mixed signals. it’s either he’s complimenting your existence, or teasing you in various ways.

so— it’s just another normal day of monoma mouthing off to you, teasing you in a playful way, while you guys are hanging out this is way of making you remember him

but then, you just.. leaned forward and placed your hand on his head— not exchanging any words at all.

monoma’s first reaction is (・・?) because what?? someone is touching him right now.. wait.. someone is touching him!

honestly really shook, and at a lost for words— because everyone has refrained from coming into any physical contact with him? what a surprise! what even is this?

after said incident, you decide to speak “you had something in your hair.” and for once, monoma is the one that’s sitting in silence

“R-REALLY, Y/N? DID YOU REALLY THINK THAT WAS GOING TO W-WORK ON ME OR SOMETHING?” he questions in his usual mocking tone, but his cheeks are accompanied in a flushed red

he’d only experience field day when he realized that touch was basically your love language, with quality time in the second lead

so whenever you guys are spending time together, you’d,, actually go closer to him! this has never happened before, let him be

he doesn’t really like the idea of getting his hair touched, so you usually choose to fiddle with his hands— sometimes observing his details, and other times you’ll be comparing hand sizes

he’ll ridicule you for being so touchy— but he’ll ask if he’s “that irresistable?” while also moving you closer to him. he loves it a lot, okay?

don’t let class 1-b see this, he will flex on them because when he starts getting annoying again, they’ll use you as blackmail.

“monoma, i swear— if you do that, we’ll tell Y/N-”

“HAHA— ok, i’m sorry.”

shinsou hitoshi

he probably has the most chill reaction out of the bunch

again— another person that has been antagonized because of their quirk. he’s been perceived as villanious ever since his middle school days

kids have been told to keep their distance away from him at a young age so.. you’d bet that he’d be really touch starved

he never had any serious experiences with dating, and he never had any real friends— that weren’t cautious of his quirk

that was until he met you, which he just assumed you were another highkey stuck up person in the hero course

but, you were basically the opposite, and you were a real pleasure to have around. one thing lead to another, and now you guys are dating

he thought it was really cute whenever you got too shy to just sit in silence during dates, or to even give out words of affirmations

but hitoshi was surprised at first when he felt you pull yourself closer to him— resting your head on his shoulder. the concept of someone wanting to be in his presence is still sinking in for him

lucky for you! shinsou knows how to adapt to situations quickly, immediately slinging an arm around your shoulder, as he listens to you talk

he’ll be surprised when you start touching his hair, because golly!! are you guys close

but do it more pls, he loves it a lot— it sometimes makes him really drowsy.

if you play with his hands omg, his heart will do somersaults. he’s lucky that he’s able to keep himself composed.

loves watching you choosing to cuddle him, after briefly giving up on trying to form coherent words of affirmations.

it’s something he brings up quite often, but not in a teasing manner!

sometimes he’ll pat the free spot beside him, basically begging you to come closer to him.

eventually, denki notices on how touchy he’ll get whenever you’re around— but hitoshi will just shrug it off

“it’s always been that way.” he simply says, but he’ll turn around with this big ass grin on his face 💀

he’s whipped for your touch. so please, do it more

midoriya izuku

he’s also touchstarved. actually, all of them are really touchstarved, and for different reasons 💀

well.. it’s not like he had a choice from the getgo. he was born quirkless, and that lead to him becoming an outcase— and also the victim of bullying i wanna hug him

and being told constantly that he won’t ever be enough, or he won’t ever be a hero— it’s obvious that he doesn’t have any dating experience

but he didn’t think he’d be dating anytime soon— especially since he was ‘just’ pinning over you. he was convinced it was going nowhere

until you confessed. he’s surprised that he didn’t pass out

ever since you guys started dating, he noticed that you’ve been a little timid— not in the way that you feel awkward, more like,, you wanted to say something

or do something, because when you guys were studying together, you just suddenly sat closer to him— and started counting his freckles

he short circuited for a second.

he was reduced to a stuttering, and blushy mess— and you just laughed, telling him “you should continue what you’re doing!” as you ran your other hand across his shoulders

that night, he was wide awake in his bed— recalling your gentle and loving touch, running his hands along the parts of his hair, that you’ve touched

he loves quality time, because while he does like to ramble a lot— he does enjoy spending time with you in silence, but it’s the touches that makes him flustered

despite him being quite shy to initiate any sort of touch, you— on the other hand, were shy with saying praises. so you coped with physical touch, and quality time

man, izuku never gets used to it. no matter how much he tries to— he’s just.. needy, touchstarved.

he doesn’t realize how lost he looks when you’re sitting beside him, and not touching his hair or hands for once. please feel free to do so

oh, and since we’re on the topic of hands— he’ll tear up if you start playing/fiddling with his hands, and especially when you start tracing his scars. it makes him feel so warm.

okay but,, please give him a heads up if you’re going to act touchy in public. he’ll start stammering and blushing hard you might have to put him in rice or smth

the dekusquad talks about that quite a lot, especially when they accidentally witnessed it in the common room (for the first time)

in short— he adores it. sometimes he’ll initiate it, by asking you if you want to sit beside him, to play with his hair. he’s so inlove

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei. i only own the writing, and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, repost, translate, or use my works for audio readings without my permission :))

[chloecherrysip]

This is probably starting to get annoying, but here are a few more scattered, silly thoughts about the mario movie. :)

(Did I go see the movie again for the 4th time in theaters last night? YES. Is that an excessive amount of times? YES. Have I spent a ridiculous amount of money at this point? YES. Do I have any regrets? NOT EVEN THE TINIEST BIT, NO.)

Trust me, I would be totally honest if I was starting to get bored, but I'm really, really not??? I had a really tough, busy week and I just wanted to be able to relax and have a good time and it was delightful as always!!! I left feeling so much happier. I'm already thinking about going to see it next week again! No one and nothing can stop me!!!! Other than possibly my bank account, LOL.

Obviously the reunion hug takes the lion's share of the focus, but I just want to express my undying love that Luigi and Mario share MULTIPLE hugs before we even get there, and that's not even counting moments at the beginning and the end where they have an arm around each other in kind of a half-hug! They are wonderfully, unabashedly affectionate and it's the best thing in the world!!!

As much as the family is teasing Mario & Luigi about their commercial, I DO appreciate that after their dad's insensitive comment and Mario leaves the table, all the adults genuinely look a little taken aback and stare at the dad (except the grandpa who is in his own little world lol) as if to say Wow, Not Cool. Like, it seems like saying something like that would even be a step too far for the uncles! I just like that there's subtlety and layers to the family stuff, and no one is portrayed as being 100% a jerk (even if some of them have some jerk-ish qualities like the guy stealing food from poor Luigi XD)

ALSO: in fanworks, I've seen several people allude to the bedroom Mario's shown in as being only his bedroom - I was watching those scenes closely this time just to confirm to myself (because I'm annoying about being as accurate as possible, haha), and it's DEFINITELY both his and Luigi's room! It goes by quick, but you can see another bed with green sheets in the far corner of the room clearly in at least one shot, both in the Brooklyn version and in the Mushroom Kingdom version. For some reason, it just tickles me that it's SUCH a small little inclusion and not really necessary, they could have just left it ambiguous whether they actually share a room or not, but nope, that detail is there if you are looking for it! :)

Y'know, even when Mario is dragging Luigi into a dangerous situation and jumping down through what is essentially a WHIRLPOOL into the sewers, he STILL stands at the bottom and waits/watches to see that Luigi makes it down safely after him before moving forward. OVERALL A SILLY THING TO DO but, as he always does when it comes to Luigi, Mario has those extra moments of care and attention. :)

Peach going on and on about how small Mario is will always just make me smile, I'm sorry XD IT'S TRUE (and I love how he's just like "yeah, yeah, make fun of me if you want" and moves on to the important stuff without actually getting mad, it's clear he's heard it all before)

I JUST LOVE MARIO IN GENERAL. I LOVE HIM IN THIS MOVIE???? I LOVE HIM, ALL HIS LITTLE MOVEMENTS AND MANNERISMS. HE IS JUST THE SWEETEST, BRAVEST LITTLE MAN AND HE DESERVES MORE APPRECIATION

I might make a separate appreciation post but here is a shortlist of little things I love: his little "I don't want to eat this" wiggle-dance when first trying to eat the mushroom, the bashful way he kicks up his feet and holds his hands behind him when he's standing next to Peach in the Flower Fields, the way he just cutely, awkwardly WAVES HELLO at everyone wherever he goes (in Toad Town, through the crowd as they're leaving the castle, even to the Kong Guards), how he's genuinely excited to see Donkey Kong's kart for a split second before DK's "I hate you" comment, how he saves DK in the water with NO hesitation at the risk of his own life because he is just a deeply good person, etc etc etc.

As much as I deeply wish that this movie had an actual scene where Mario gets to talk more about Luigi to his new friends and the dialogue wasn't always operating at Maximum Efficiency, I DO appreciate that there are still those couple of beats where you are explicitly reminded that Mario is doing this, ALL of this, for Luigi's sake and only that. The one that got to me this time is when Peach and him have that sidebar before the DK fight where she's like "this is a REALLY bad idea" and his retort is: "well, do you have another way to save my brother!?" And then you see him go on a little face journey where he's calculating things before agreeing to the fight and proclaiming that yes, he WILL win. BECAUSE HE WILL DO ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING FOR HIS BROTHER AND IF THE ONLY WAY TO REACH HIM IS TO FIGHT AND WIN, EVEN IF NO ONE BELIEVES IN HIS ABILITY TO DO SO, THEN BY GOD, HE'S DOING IT. ANOTHER REASON THAT I LOVE HIM!!

The aesthetic of the shattered Rainbow Road pieces glowing in the ocean around DK and Mario (and then inside the eel) is genuinely very beautiful and I always love the effect of it!

I'M SORRY, I CAN ALSO BE VERY CRITICAL OF THIS MOVIE IF I WANT TO, BUT HOW COULD ANYONE - ANYONE - WATCH MARIO AND LUIGI WREAK ABSOLUTE HAVOC AND DESTROY BOWSER IN PERFECT, EFFORTLESS UNISON WITH THE SUPERSTARS MUSIC PLAYING AND NOT FEEL ABSOLUTE JOY??? That sequence is actually perfect, and the music is even MORE perfect. Every time, I hear it, I feel exhilarated and light as air and like anything is possible! HOW COULD YOU NOT THINK IT'S MAGICAL??? HOW??? [STANDS ON TOP OF A MOUNTAIN AND YELLS] HOW????????

Something that I have never noticed until this last rewatch and caught me genuinely offguard is that when Bowser's in the jar and Mario makes the "told ya I'd get you a turtle!" comment to Peach, if you're paying attention to Bowser, he actually does a "hardy-har-har VERY FUNNY" fake laugh as he's being all pouty, and I laughed outloud at that.

ALSO IN GENERAL, I AM SO PROUD OF THIS VERSION OF THE CHARACTERS AND THEIR WILLINGNESS TO PUT BOWSER IN ACTUAL JAIL!!!! HE DESERVES JAIL!!!! Like, I get that we're all very sweet and forgiving here and he's usually allowed to just slink away in most of the games, but seriously, HE COMMITTED VARIOUS WAR CRIMES FOR INCREDIBLY STUPID REASONS, THANK U FOR PUTTING HIM IN JAIL

The last scene with Luigi and Mario doing their handshake and then Luigi just full-on playfully poking Mario in the belly before running off is the CUTEST thing and also has the most Younger Sibling Energy of basically anything in the movie, lol. He also does it to him in the opening scene! I loveeeee ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[invisiblegarters]

Dangerous Romance Ep 8

Last week, Kang tried to make Sailom's friends forgive him for all that bullying and treating them like shit, mostly successfully as it turns out. But only really because they are great friends and they can see that Sailom likes him. Auto was very relatable and steadily climbed the ranks into becoming my favorite character, and Guy and Nawa were dumb with alcohol.

Also Saifah got Grandma to hire him. I'm sure that'll go well with absolutely nothing being stolen and no one being arrested and no repercussions for Sailom at all.

See? Sailom doesn't trust his big bro either. We all know.

Pffft yes Kang. Sleeping next to Saifah will totally make you smarter. Well, he knows what genre he's in, at any rate.

Just for tonight, Sailom says. That's how it starts, my friend.

Kang reminds me of my cat. I'll be minding my own business and then I'll just feel eyes on me and I'll look and sure enough, there she is staring fixedly at my face like 👀. Little creeper (affectionate).

Sailom is being really loud.

Guy and Nawa are so ridiculous. I can't take anything they do seriously.

Well I have to say Saifah has rich kids pegged. Will Sailom figure that out, though? Doubtful.

Oh wait I'm watching a different show. I forgot that Sailom is nothing like Sand. Literally the only thing those two have in common is that they're poor and in love with richie riches. And the fact that he went off without so much as trying to get an explanation pretty much guarantees that Kang's reason for not making it isn't just that he's a spoiled shit who didn't feel like it. He's not Ray, either. Gotta remember that lol.

Okay but he still could have called? Was his phone magically broken too? It just shows a certain level of thoughtlessness I dislike.

I just want to take a quick moment to say I really appreciate the trend of letting the inevitable female love rival be a real person and not just a plot device, or a villain who keeps trying to break up the main couple.

Oh that's sweet. But Saifah is not going to care Grandma. I just do not trust that face at all.

Now that the BL sheets have been mentioned I can never unsee it again.

Okay I do love Sailom. He really goes all out when he decides to do a thing, doesn't he.

Product placement!

Uh oh. And we have an injury that's gonna mess up try outs and then dad will step in and pay off coach, yes?

I have to say that this does feel a little different. Usually the rich kids have to learn the lessons of working for a thing and they don't already realize just how little it does for them to get it all from money. In these shows I mean in real life I don't think they give two shits ever haha. But Kang already seems to be very aware of this - he's aimless because nothing is expected from him and he resents it. Maybe I'm wrong though.

Huh. So he was asking for expensive stuff, not taking. I assumed he was taking. I still wonder if he stole that watch though.

Uh oh. I don't like the way Grandma asked that. I'm suspicious of everyone!

Is "I'll deal with him alone" code for makeouts? Because I believe that these two want to kill each other like I believe the sky is neon green.

Two point five please be serious.

Pfft I kind of love how chill Max and Auto are. Like I don't even care anymore it's just funny to me now.

Oh here we go with the blushing maiden shit. It's okay if these guys want to do sexy things to each other, show.

"I'm not just a spoiled rich kid anymore, right?" Oh no it's really gonna suck when you find out dad took care of this for you, kddo.

Dad what are you up to? You are so slimy right now that you're practically oozing.

Oooh he's going off. And there it is. I always knew Dad had that in him.

And hey, this is actually a good use of flashback.

Aw okay this is actually really sweet. I don't know if I'm a diehard shipper yet (so far I enjoy Nawa and Guy more overall), but do like this. I always enjoy a good "us against the world" moment.

Bro you are literally dating why are you asking if he likes you.

Lol oh dear that preview.

I'm getting better with this show. We're vibing now. I'm a little sad it took me eight episodes to do that, but at least we're here, right?