#haha but definitely hinting at what the next one will also be of lolol

[canariie]

under the blue moon

Rating: K+

Synopsis: One of their first meetings at night: though they may have been on different paths in school, under the light of the blue moon, they found themselves coming back to a home they both didn’t know they needed.

Word Count: 3050 words

Setting: Shinigami Academy Days (post Bleach Chapter -16 & somewhere in between Bleach Drama CD Track 08 'Flashback')

Prompt: Hitsuhina Week 2021 Day 2 - Dream / On a Field of Ice 

Authour’s Note: I’m here! I’m here! I know it’s been a while but I have been loving all of the posts that everyone has been doing for this weeks celeberation!!  So lovely to see the hitsuhina community alive :)

Sorry this was late but this has been sitting in my wips for about a year? And I had most of it written but it was harder to finish since it had been so long! However, when I saw the themes for this year’s @hitsuhina-week​, I knew I had to finish it up!

Special shout out to Aoi Tori & Still With You being the songs that I played continuously on repeat to finish this up :)

Enjoy!

—

Momo clutched the fabric of her uniform as she looked dejectedly at the final report. No matter the amount of times that she stared at the red marks on the paper, they didn’t disappear. Her vision blurred as an onslaught of tears pricked at her eyes, making her head hurt. For once this semester, Momo was glad she was alone so her roommate wouldn’t see her in such a sorry state.

At the end of the fifth year were the practical’s that determined what concentrations one would focus on in their last years of study before graduating from the Academy. Momo, Renjii and Izuru were all studying different paths to focus on: Renjii in physical swordmanship, and Momo and Izuru with the demon arts, hers in combat and his in healing. For the past couple weeks, the trio had been studying and practicing almost every waking hour that they were not in class. Also, as part of the advanced class, there was an expectation that one would pass all the practical’s in the first round before continuing on. If not, one had to wait until the next semester before taking the exam again.

Unfortunately, the brown-haired girl had pushed herself to the point of exhaustion. On top of the near sleepless nights, her anxiety had grown inside her, almost crippling her. Momo had usually preferred taking written tests over the physical tests since she could pull things easily from memory. However, the thought of failing the exam had left her mind at a blank when she tried to remember the incantations for the written portion of the exam. The fear of failure haunted her still to the physical component where they practiced different spells and she found herself missing the target—and almost singeing the hair off her professor’s head.

She didn’t wait a second longer after the dismissal and ran to her room, ignoring Renjii and Izuru’s concerned looks. Momo locked herself inside, hiding herself underneath all her many blankets. There was no need to look at the practical results posted outside the Grand Assembly Hall as she already knew it in her heart—she didn’t need to physically see it.

Momo sighed as she looked at the clock in her room, signaling it was way past the time she usually went to sleep. Even the sight of the blue moon illuminating a path on her bed couldn’t cheer her up, and Momo tucked her feet in, pulling her knees tight to her chest. She didn’t know how long she had cried but now she felt exhausted and spent. Skipping dinner didn’t really help her cause and it only left her to focus on the bitter thoughts that replayed and occupied her mind.

I’m so pathetic…how am I ever going to become a vice captain if I can’t even pass the practical’s.

The wind howled outside and she could hear the branch of the tree hitting her window, reminding her of windy nights in Junrinan.

I wish I were home now with Obaa-san…and Shiro-chan.

The tree rapped at her window persistently.

How can I face them with marks like this? What would they say?

Louder and louder the noise grew, competing with the roaring outside.

What a disappointment I am…

The noise grew louder and it as almost as if something knocking urgently at her window. Momo turned her head just as a white tuft of hair popped up, follow by the two scrawny arms of her childhood friend.

“Shiro-chan!” Momo gasped. “What are you doing? You can’t climb in through the window!”

“And why not?” Toushiro retorted as he pulled himself on the ledge. “There’s no one here to stop me.” He looked around, noticing the empty room. “Where’s your roommate?”

“She went home for the weekend,” she responded quickly, distracted by the way the boy was perched on the window sill. “But that doesn’t change the fact that you should have used the dorm entrance! You could have gotten hurt!”

“I climb trees all the time back home,” he replied offhandedly, “Climbing up to your window is no different.”

“That doesn’t matter Shiro-chan! You can still get hurt!” Momo could feel her anxiety pick up as she shook her head furiously, her pig tails whipping around.

Toushiro gave her a pointed look. “Hinamori, didn’t you say you would call me ‘Hitsugaya’ by now?”

She bit back a retort as she did realize, yes that she had agreed to that when he had entered the academy. “It’s still taking me a while to get used to,” Momo mumbled.

He scoffed and settled himself on the ledge. A part of Momo wanted to urgently grab him and pull him inside, for fear of him falling. However, what rooted her on her bed was the knowledge that her deeply inquisitive childhood friend would immediately notice her dried tear tracks—and she did not want him to see her in such a sorry state.

Though she seemed anxious of his safety on the outside, inside she was elated that he was here. It had been a while since they had properly seen each other, with the last time being when she introduced Toushiro to Izuru. The first year was extremely busy Momo remembered, and she had hardly seen Toushiro except for quick glimpses of his white hair moving through the hallways. Their lunch schedules were also different as she had practical’s during the first-year lunch slot—so even those moments were hard to come by. Now looking at him in his uniform, it was the first time that Momo realized how much he had grown into his clothes. It didn’t hang off his slender body, like his clothes in Jurinran did. Almost as if…

“You’ve gained weight,” Momo stated softly.

The boy turned his head sharply towards her. “What?”

Her eyebrows rose in shock, suddenly realizing the misimplications of what she just said. “No-no! I mean you look healthy! It’s a good thing!” Her warm brown eyes crinkled fondly. “I’m happy you’re able to eat more here.”

Toushiro’s eyes widened, before he narrowed them. “I had enough to eat at Obaa-san’s. Not that you would know.”

After he said it, he immediately regretted it when he saw her face fall. Momo grabbed her arms, tucking her them further into herself.

“You’re right,” Momo admitted. “I wasn’t there often for you and Obaa-san.” She sighed dejectedly. “I’m such a terrible person…” 

A silence stretched in between them that no one wanted to fill. Toushiro didn’t know what he had planned that night—words of comfort weren’t really his forté and he didn’t want to get too close to her in case he hurt her. But he knew inside, he had to make sure she was alright.

“I saw the results posted outside the Assembly Hall.” He looked at her with his dark jade eyes. “…how are you?” It was just above a whisper, but something inside her broke.

Her eyes glimmered with tears and could feel a sob crawl into her throat. Though she had not wanted to alarm her dear friend, when she looked into his eyes, she found herself retelling everything. From the hours of study to the actual exam day, as Momo recounted everything she could visibly see Toushiro soften with a look of pity. “I’m so pathetic,” Momo commented as she picked a stray thread on her bed spread, “if I can’t pass the practical’s, how can I even think of becoming a vice captain?”

“Maybe I shouldn’t be here…” she turned her face into the pillow, refusing to look at the boy.

Toushiro remained rooted on the ledge, frozen and unsure what to do. He had never seen Momo this dejected before and yet, he didn’t know what he could offer for comfort.

Though it was a couple steps, it felt like a mile-wide gap. His shoulders tucked into himself and he could feel his resolve crumbling. The necessary distance to keep her safe was pushing her further away. Toushiro could see Momo receding back into a shell that was not the confident girl he knew—and it ached inside to see her in such a sorry state.

“And-and I could feel the anxiety in my stomach,” Momo lamented softly. “My mind blanked and I couldn’t remember anything…it was like I was paralyzed.” Even now thinking about it again made Momo want to curl back into a ball and hide away from the shame. Clutching her head, she moaned, “And now my head just hurts…”

All of a sudden Momo felt a cool touch on her forehead. Like a sigh of clarity, she could feel her mind slow down and the dull ache that was throbbing in the back began to dissipate. What felt like a tempest of anxiety inside her chest dulled to a breath of fresh winter air.

Momo looked up in wonderment. “…How?”

Just as quick, Toushiro pulled his hand back, almost as if he had burned himself. “I can’t control it well but that should help your headache for a bit.” His jade eyes flickered anxiously at the proximity. “However, I shouldn’t stay close,” he said as he began to move himself away.

“No!” Momo yelped as she scrambled to pull his hand in. “Please don’t go,” her voice broke at the last note. She couldn’t handle being by herself for another moment longer. Momo looked up and could see an inner storm inside the boy’s eyes. For as much as his body was stiff with shock, his eyes gave it away that he fought a battle within to bring himself to stand by her bedside.  

He sighed in defeat and Momo could instantly feel a lightness in her chest. “I’ll stay…” he managed out weakly. “Just until you fall asleep.”

Time seemed to stretch out infinitely for even the hanging blue moon wouldn’t say what hour it was. What initially was an anguished long sleepless night became a comfortable quiet accompanied by the soft whistles of the wind. Her eyelids fell heavily though Momo struggled to remain awake, determined to be as present as she could now that her friend was here. However, she could not resist the quick falls of slumber, especially when she began to sense soft sapphire lights after she closed her eyes.  

“Your reiatsu…I can start to see it now.” Momo sighed in content.

“Really?” He was shocked as he had just started to work on controlling it. The first years were required in their core classes to practice channeling their reiatsu before proceeding further in the rest of the Shinigami curriculum.

“I don’t think I ever realized before how…blue it was.” She smiled to herself. “It’s like snow—like the first day that I met you.” He too remembered that day well; it was the first one in his memories.

Toushiro was apprehensive as he laid the back of his hand on her forehead. “Does it…hurt?”

“No…It’s actually comforting.” She closed her eyes as she whispered. “It reminds me of home.”

At that point, Toushiro was glad that it was the dark of the night for his ears felt as if they were on fire–and he couldn’t imagine how red his face was. Momo’s breaths had evened and he could see her chest move up and down peacefully. He was glad to see her eyebrows relaxed and a peaceful expression of sleep on her face.

He trailed the back of his fingers down her cheek and could feel the dried tracks of her tears. “Stupid…” he muttered, “don’t keep everything to yourself.”

This was the first time since coming to school that he had tried channeling his rieatsu. Since he had almost unwillingly froze his grandmother to death, Toushiro isolated himself from the rest of his class— in case he had hurt anyone unintentionally. He couldn’t risk hurting anyone so he shied away from handshakes, familiar gestures and cornered himself in the back of the crowd—never close enough to touch another soul. Even now today, he second guessed coming here. It was only seeing the results pinned on the door that cleared his doubts and he took off in the night.  

This was the first time that he was so physically close to someone.

It terrified him to be beside Momo.

It shocked him more that she was comforted by his reiatsu.

He hadn’t seen her for a long time since she was so busy studying. Even though they were now in the same school, he felt even more distant from her. A part of him resented that she had not come home more to visit him and Obaa-san. A small voice would coax in his ear that she had abandoned him and solely him by moving on to new friends. He knew it was irrational to think so but it was difficult to deny himself that bitterness. That being said, he couldn’t fight the feeling of making sure she okay—which as long as he was in school, he could do.  

Toushiro wasn’t rushing to finish his studies; as long as he could control his rieatsu and powers, that was the main reason he would stay.

Well….He looked down as he felt Momo clutch his shirt in her hand.

Maybe that wasn’t the only reason.

--

The dreams had not stopped since he had entered the academy. From the moment he closed his eyes, he could feel himself falling back until he hit hard ground.

It was always the same world.

White plains stretching as far and wide to meet the sunless horizon. There was no sense of day and night. Only the dead spindly trees piercing the sky indicated that life couldn’t continue in this hopeless place. Toushiro always felt like these were the premonitions of his inevitable future, a feeling that knotted at the pit of his stomach.

However, he was never alone. A thundering noise always echoed in the distance but he could never place it. Though far, he could feel its intensity at the tip of his fingers, as if beckoning him to grab a hold of it.

It was only when a grand ice dragon appeared in front of him that it turned dark with a winter storm.

Toushiro had to draw his arms up against the torrid bursts of biting wind. Though it did not move, Toushiro could feel its ancient presence of powers from far before him, holding his stare and rooting him to ground. It was crushing him and embracing him—as if thunder was falling in his palms.

“Who are you!” But a loud burst of wind obscured the thunderous roar of the dragon. “I can’t hear you!” And again and again he would call out, wanting and yearning to learn of this beast—but never would he get far before waking up in a cold sweat.

Until tonight, when the storm receded and the quiet came.

The dragon stood, as if waiting for Toushiro to make the first move. Throwing back his head, he gazed up and stared into his blood red eyes. Maybe he should’ve been afraid of dying a cold death. But instead, he felt a kinship to this icy beast—almost as if they had the same soul. Looking into the beast’s eyes he could recognize loneliness.

And it ached inside him.

“There are things I want to protect with this borrowed strength…”

The desperation clawed from inside of his chest; a deep well of pent up feelings brimming to the surface so much so that he wanted no more than to fling it out as much as he could.

“I want to protect…”

A desire grew inside for the energy that thrummed inside, to take it and use it. To let it consume him and envelop him whole for a now clear goal.

A flash of warm brown eyes appeared in his mind.

“I want to protect her!”

The dragon roared again but this time Toushiro could feel its power resonate inside him, as if he were the one calling out to be named.

“My name is…Hyourinmaru!”

His eyes flew open in shock and his could see his breath appear in a puff of frost. Immediately, he turned his head trying to look at the unfamiliar surroundings.

“Mmhh…Shiro-chan.” He looked down to see Momo’s head against his chest, clutching his shirt tightly. Somehow, in the middle of the night, she had pulled herself onto his chest and tucked herself right under his chin. Toushiro’s visceral reaction was to push her off before she caught hypothermia from him. However, right as he grabbed her shoulders he felt immediate warmth flow into his hands. It traveled through his whole body, alleviating any anxiety that Toushiro had.

Is she countering my rieatsu with her’s?

He could sense a soft red orange glow and warmth emanating from Momo. As she breathed softly against his chest, the warmth grew in intensity, like a candle that flickers during a cold night. It reached inside him to his soul and sent welcome heat throughout his body. Toushiro closed his eyes in content and wrapped his arms around her instinctively.

What was that about?

As if frost had melted off a glass pane, his dream was clearer than ever before. Instead of the sound of thundering obscuring its name, Toushiro had been able to heed the voice of the dragon and even feel it resonate inside his soul. Hyourinmaru...even its name echoed immense power.

For now, many questions were running through his mind. However, a realization as clear as a bell in the night ran through his head.

Toushiro looked down at the sleeping form, blissfully unaware of all that had transpired. Though they were in complete darkness of the middle of the night, the blue moonlight only highlighted her features. Long thick lashes that were once spiked with tears rested gently against his chest. Her mouth slightly open as she sighed in content. Toushiro had never seen Momo look so at peace, which he realized, quelled the inner storm of his world.

This power, it’s meant to protect her…

In the back of his mind, he could hear the roar of the dragon, almost as if in assent.

And with that he closed his eyes—ready to face a new day with his resolution in his arms.

—

Authour’s Note: This was inspired by a post I had seen once talking about how Momo’s fire rieatsu counteracted Toushiro’s icy one -- which was one of the reasons that Obaa-san started to freeze after Momo left. (headcanon post by @alexiethymia) I loved the premise though, especially that I can totally see it as canon that their powers both balance each other out and they really are stronger together :)

I also definitely headcanon that through some revelation concerning Momo does Toushiro finally overcome whatever inner block he has and is able to learn the name of his zanpaktou. Definitely inspired by the drama CDs, I think there’s such rich material that expands on the hitsuhina relationship. In my mind, she’s kind of the like the defroster on his frosty glass that is his mind hahahaha

See you all in the next one :)

[youtiaoshutiao]

i just finished "the romance of tiger and rose" and i have nothing to watch now :( do you have any cdrama recs?

hello!!!! sorry i got to this a week late my tumblr is like... neglected currently

anyway i’m so glad u enjoyed tiger and rose!!! i love it so much too :D for cdrama recs, omg it really depends on what u’re looking for!!!! i find it so hard to narrow down dramas that are my faves to recommend because i actually watch very little HAHA and i only watch to completion dramas that i really like anyway xD anyway i’ll just list a few that i’ve watched recently (meaning like... from mid 2019 till now) and really enjoyed!!!

period dramas:

- joy of life 庆余年 (2019): hard to describe this tonally because it’s v irreverant and hilarious yet moving and deep and suspenseful?! the first 15 episodes are fun and enjoyable but i think i really really truly got into it after that and became invested 100%. in my eyes it felt like a fervent love poem to life and the human condition especially towards the end. the characters are all very fascinating and there’s a lot of twisty plot twists. excellent acting and script writing. only caveat is that it’s the first season out of a planned 3 season series so it ends on a cliffhanger, and the female lead doesn’t really have as much agency compared to the other supporting female characters (mainly due to her circumstances and the role she plays i guess).

- young blood 大宋少年志 (2019): YOOO THIS is a huge lovelovelove for me, you have the most lovable squad consisting of 6 very different and generally lonely teenagers who get roped into this secret services thing where they deal with top secret government plots and stuff. and they start off all on the wrong foot and grow to LOVE EACH OTHER and RELY ON EACH OTHER and HAVE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. *sobs just thinking about it* has many supporting characters that are interesting and whom u also get invested in. It’s an original script written by Wang Juan 王倦 who also wrote the joy of life script, except young blood is 100% original and not adapted from a webnovel! just like tiger and rose’s script, which is also an original script written by Nan Zhen. this is SUPER SUPER rare nowadays in cdramaland which is why i stan these 2 dramas so hard hahaha. caveat: young blood also ends on a kind of cliffhanger/open ending, but it still felt like the arcs that the entire series covered in terms of character development were well completed so i was okay with it. plus there are lots of hints that there’s also gonna be a season 2, though I think Wang Juan is still writing the script for that.

- under the power 锦衣之下 (2019/2020): this is the drama that tiger and rose is sometimes compared to in terms of how it became so popular unexpectedly. i would wholeheartedly recommend this 100% solely for the OTP which is a Tsundere Embroidered Uniform Guard (Ming-dynasty secret police) ML x Bubbly/talkative/street smart Constable FL. they are SUPER SUPER cute and the leads (who are both my faves) play them super well and their romantic development is presented really organically. the outfits esp the male lead’s are A+++ also and make him look super super hot. i like the OST too. however everything else is quite mediocre lol especially the special effects and the meandering sideplots and there was a whole plot arc that didn’t really make much sense because a lot was edited out because of censorship. STILL VERY ADDICTIVE THO

- the story of ming lan 知否知否应是绿肥红瘦 (2018/2019): a very long drama (but quite normal by cdrama standards lol) basically about the ~journey~ and ~growth~ of our protagonist minglan, unfavoured daughter of a concubine of a relatively high ranking civil servant. it’s a very different vibe to a lot of other cdramas in that it’s very slice-of-life and slow paced, but i think it’s fascinating how it showcases how women deal and work with the internal dynamics of a household in a patriarchal society, and how that affects societal and political affairs as well. her OTP with an unfavoured son from another family (lol) is also very very delicious as it’s basically 2 people who have gone thru a lot of Trauma as children treasuring each other/learning that they too are treasured by the other and them building their own family and household against all odds and evil family members. it’s v long and slow paced as i mentioned earlier but it’s very very rewarding!! and i think many of my tumblr mutuals would agree it’s quite a favourite :D

modern dramas:

(i’ll admit that i’ve only had the brainspace the past 1 year for fluffy brainless modern dramas so all these are just for the FLUFF)

- skate into love 冰糖炖雪梨 (2020): uni drama where the FL re-picks up her true love speed skating after abandoning it for Reasons and gets back into it competitively. her OTP is her primary school deskmate who is an ice hockey player. the otp is very very fun!! the ML has a lot of resentment towards FL initially because FL was quite the bully in primary school but i really like how they resolved it and eventually the ML falls first and falls Really Really Hard and it is Delicious. the career aspects was quite well done also and i really rooted for the FL to rediscover her passion and pick it up again, and also for the ML to become better at his craft. caveat: i actually still have 10 episodes to go as i stalled because i know there’s a couple of episodes coming up that are going to be frustrating because of typical Misunderstanding and Miscommunication blablabla. but that’s pretty common lolol and overall it’s still a cute watch.

- the 致我们 series consisting of 3 dramas : 

1) a love so beautiful 致我们单纯的小美好 (2017): high school drama basically tsundere male lead x bubbly female lead, they’ve been classmates since young and are next door neighbours, female lead has a crush on him since forever

2) put your head on my shoulder 致我们暖暖的小时光 (2019): set in uni, female lead’s doing an internship far from her school, male lead is a physics student and his parents have a flat for him that is near female lead’s internship place, BAM THEY ARE FLATMATES!

3) the love equations 致我们甜甜的小美满 (2020): uni drama, female lead is a chinese language major who loves writing forensic novels online, male lead is a forensic science major.

all 3 are really cute lolol. i put these 3 because i just watched the third one two months ago and i feel like i have to mention it in the context of the first 2 haha. the first 2 were definitely hits both domestically and internationally. i feel the 3rd one kind of flopped? in terms of reception compared to the first 2 and a lot of my drama mutuals couldn’t get into it, and i can understand why because it did feel more unpolished? in terms of directorial choices/the editing/the acting/the script. but i still somehow really loved it for some reason, i think some parts of the ML’s life esp his relationship with his mum really resonated with me, and i loved FL and her friendships with her dormmates so so so so much. so i really rooted for the OTP.  i think objectively in terms of quality i would rate them 2 > 1 > 3, but in terms of feels... i loved them all. and it’s all just pure fluff anyway at the end of the day HAHA.

ok i’m running out of time writing this hehe but also a quick shoutout to my 2 favourite youth/high school dramas forever - With You 最好的我们 (2015) and My Huckleberry Friends 你好旧时光 (2017) which are sister dramas/set in the same universe and imo, are the pinnacle of youth dramas and what it means to capture the anxieties/stresses/mundane joys/pain/beauty of the Chinese/Asian high school experience. 

there are many others from before 2019 that i watched and enjoyed but i didn’t put them in hehe. and i’m sorry HAHA i actually don’t have much trust in my own taste LOL but i hope it helps!!

ohhhh and i’ve been trying to avoid starting on new dramas because of Exam Prep but there’s been SO MANY airing lately that i’ve been interested in:

The Bad Kids 隐秘的角落: apparently super well done suspense/thriller drama that’s receiving rave reviews everywhere!!

Love A Lifetime 暮白首: an original wuxia starring ren jialun (ML in under the power) whom i love so much and zhang huiwen

My Girl 99分女朋友: this is a modern day cdrama written by nan zhen!!! (who wrote tiger and rose) so i think it might be worth checking out :))

[lunarmessenger]

“hey how about some headcanons on the RFA friendships like jaehee and zen, zen and yoosung, yoosung and seven, etc! btw Im so obsessed with your blog

(headcanon request from @whatamystic-mess !!!) oh my god yes i love this??? thank you so much for requesting haha this was so much fun to write (and imagine scenarios they’re all so precious) thank you for enjoying my blog!! i’m glad you like it uwu - luna xx

p.s. i just did the ones you listed because i couldn’t stop writing about those specific pairings haha sorry!! but if you’d like to see other pairings please don’t hesitate to ask!! k here it is ilysm xx

Zen and Jaehee: Everyone Thinks They’re A Couple

• Ya’ll knew I had to do it to em

• 100% they’re the friends that literally everyone is always pressing that they’re a couple in secret

• But they’re genuinely just? really good friends?

• You know that Zen is constantly asking Jaehee to come over to critique his performances to see how he can improve and what his fans are wanting to see next

• Just how Jaehee seeks Zen’s advice on learning how to relax every once and a while and not stress over every little thing (since Jumin literally destroyed her ability to take some time to herself)

• They also fiercely defend each other, and it becomes more prominent after Jaehee leaves her job as Jumin’s assistant (which is why everyone thinks they’re a couple

• “Jumin leave Jaehee alone she left for a reason maybe if you treated her like a human being she wouldn’t have left the way she did”

• “Mr. Ha—Jumin. For the last time, Zen is allergic to cats. He will not be participating in anything cat related for your company.”

• Saeyoung is constantly teasing them about when they’re going to get together which of course makes Jaehee blush and Zen smirk at such a silly thought

• Yes, Zen definitely flirts with her from time to time because he thinks her reaction is the funniest thing

• Truly though they’ve both honestly thought about the idea of dating and realized they’re much better as friends than lovers

• In all seriousness though their bond was established fairly quickly due to having to become severly independent in their childhoods?? Zen ran away because of his mother’s emotional and verbal abuse, where as Jaehee felt very unwanted due to her uncle’s wife’s distain towards her (i will fight both of these women they don’t deserve these two!!)

• They were forced to learn not to depend on anybody and in being friends with each other they’ve taught one another that it’s okay to ask for help and confide in someone every now and then

• (brb crying cause honestly zen and jaehee’s friendship is a lot like my friendship with my best buddy irl T-T)

Zen and Yoosung: Big Brother

• Listen to me LISTEN TO ME.

• BIG BROTHER ZEN

• We all know that Zen would try his absolute hardest to get Yoosung away from his computer and out into the real world

• But not in an unhealthy way where he makes Yoosung feel bad for it???

• Zen understands that LOLOL is Yoosung’s way to cope with his loss for Rika; but he just wants what’s best for him so he’s always urging him to try a little harder in school and leave his dorm once in a while just to get some fresh air

• “I wasn’t always that great in school and I didn’t even finish Yoosung now look at me; barely scraping by in a basement apartment do you really wanna end up like me???”

• “Well yeah Zen at least you have women fawning over you T-T”

• Not the point Yoosung not the point

• Yeah though Yoosung definitely looks up to Zen and cares about him in a very brotherly way; admires him for his endurance and ambition to pursue what he loves no matter how hard he struggles for it

• Also we know that Zen would do everything he could to make Yoosung feel cared for an validated, especially since his own older brother ended up turning his back on him when he needed him the most

• We also know that Yoosung would always ask Zen for advice with women as well as asking him if he wants to hang out every once and a while

• “Hey Zen if you’re not busy do you think maybe we can go hang out or????”

• And we all know Zen would feel the absolute worst denying Yoosung so you bet he makes time to hang out with him :’)

• Their friendship is definitely about benefiting each other as well; Zen teaching Yoosung how to branch out and strengthen his ability to concentrate on what’s important

• While Yoosung, without really knowing it, is teaching Zen that responsibility is important and that having someone looking up to you as a role model is an unexplainable (but amazing) feeling

Yoosung and Saeyoung: The Chaotic Duo

• We all know that Saeyoung can be pretty excessive with his teasing on Yoosung (and how much he enjoys it lol)

• But you bet that when they come together for either gaming or plotting fun schemes against the other members they are seriously dangerous

• Yoosung’s creativity combined with Saeyoung’s resources meant that there was usually a lot of cleaning up to do on both Jumin and V’s ends (sorry guys we all know that Saeyoung automatically reverts in age when around Yoosung)

• Yet when they’re not being silly together Saeyoung is actually extremely protective of Yoosung (and that may stem from what happened with Saeran)

• Whenever there’s a slight hint of hacker activity Yoosung is normally the first person he checks on through his cameras

• And when they went on that mission to mint eye you bet your ass Saeyoung had never felt so shitty in his entire life

• Even now after Yoosung has successfully coped with his eye he still continues to blame himself because “If only I hadn’t of been so careless he would have never gotten hurt”

• Yoosung cares deeply for Saeyoung too; and despite Saeyoung being older Yoosung doesn’t really see him as the big brother type honestly????

• It’s more like an equal in a sense; he knows that Saeyoung surpasses him in almost everything but when it comes down to it the they way they talk to each other when being serious; they hold a lot of respect for one another

• They’re just the type of friends where they’re not afraid to get rowdy with one another but are able to communicate with one another when their lives get rough

[dulharpa]

this is for hayley! @whistlingwillows a dear friend <3333

it’s meant to be a birthday present haha. i just want to shower you in love;;; so thought maybe i could go through as many of your fics and comment on them :^)))

(TO EVERYONE ELSE: please go to @whistlingwillows blog and read her fics!!! they are SO FCKIN GOOD AND AMAZING AND UGH HER MIND (it’s a lot of mcu and her bucky and steve fics are a*. i DEFINITELY RECOMMEND))

i wish you a VERY happy birthday and i hope we stay friends for many more years <3333333333 

i’m going through your masterlist heehee ;)))

ah first off, nice theme! i never could rlly see it before because i’m always on mobile heehee. also sorry for not reviewing them before??? i don’t usually read fics on tumblr as you’ve probably guessed;;

anyways, IM GON REVIEW THE SHIT OUT OF THESE >:DDDD

far from home -  bucky x stark sister!reader

firstly, i like how youre introducing the reader from buckys pov, like you can sort of already gather what shes like from them

‘Bucky can hear Tony’s soft inhale, feel the intensity of the man’s glare directed at Steve. He shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but a twitch of muscle would be enough to alert both men that he’s here. With the amount of tension crackling in the air, a brush against the wall would be equivalent to a thousand cymbals crashing in cacophony.’

IM CRYING ALREADY. the imagery in here is GLORIOUS. your tone here is so fitting! oo and the alliteration here is perfecto

ooooooo!! the backstory coming in  👀👀

‘despite what some people think that Steve and Captain America are two different personas, there will always be parts of Steve in the Avenger, and parts of the Avenger in Steve. They both want to believe in something good. They are, after all, one in the same.// Just as how Bucky and the Winter Soldier are the same man despite everything. HYDRA simply amplified the hate, fertilized the seeds of rage, curated the quiet thunder within his soul, within James Buchanan Barnes so that the Winter Soldier could thrive.’

yIKES! lol this is very character study like! nICE. it hurts tho, my poor children, i love you both 

oo ‘starlight eyes’ that is a very nice way of describing them

‘“Then what was London?” The protesters. “São Paulo?” The earthquake. “Vancouver?” Freezing cold water.//“Look, I care if Stark’s gonna run us over trying to find her. I care enough because she’s part of our team. Come off it, Steve. I know she can take care of herself. I’m gonna take a nap. Dr. Cho said no partying post-Singapore and what do you know, we throw the biggest party ever.’

ooo singapore uwu and london? (coincidence? haha jkjk) and the hints abt reader and buckys background are so good?? but so annoying??? like i just wanna KNOW yknow?? 

‘The water runs copper and the sting bites at his palm as he tries not to think. Tries to focus on the numbing cold that runs over his skin.’ 

your imagery is so vivid?? im actually in awe??? i am so regretful i havent kept reading your fics. like i know they are amazing, i just keep putting them off??? idk man. hopefully this makes up for it (gd tho, im still not done with commenting on one fic. this is what im doing with my motivation teehee ;)

‘ He feels weak. Tired. He wants to go back to bed but he also wants to stay out in the sun for a few hours more. The sun kisses his skin through the windows and he squints against the blue sky, wondering ‘

mood during this quarantine lol

‘“Oh, right.” Your voice is flat, uninterested, cold, as you stare at him. “You killed my parents.”Shit.‘

 OUCH LMAO THATS C O L D, O GOT +100 PHYSIC DAMAGE FROM JUST READING THAT

ooo robin as a nickname noice. very much gives me batman vibes lol

oh! and the way of doing the ‘flashback’ is neat! very original. it both tells us what happened AND buckys reaction to it again. he can re-analyse himself and reader. very cool

‘If you walk away now, don’t bother coming back!” Silence. Bucky can hear his own strained breathing, your soft sigh as you soaked in his ultimatum.’

👀👀 yikes that ultimatum. :// not good bucky. tbf theyre both trying to hurt each other but Yikes

eyy!!! readers pov!! finally! and the switch after we find out the outsiders pov? brilliant

oh no :(( more angst

‘When’s the last time you saw your therapist?”“Don’t have one. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”’ they BOTH need therapists;;;;

very good fic!!! :DD they rlly do hate each other! i definitely like how you went back and forth with the timeline! it gave me a v strong idea on what yn was like even before we rlly got introduced. i am now very curious on where reader is? i love your characterisations! 

i will read the 10k+ fics but heck the last one took me ages lolol (i will comment in the future tho!! i promise <3 ) (that took me over an hour jjhghgdjh)

slipping away- amnesiac modern bucky x reader

omg,,, AMNESIA! >:DDDDDD

‘ Put your fucking seatbelt on’

oh no, istg theyre going to have a car crash arent they (’ doesn’t put the seatbelt on to spite you.’ NO PLEASE PUT IT ON U DUMBASS)

ok,,,,, at LEAST he put it on before he got hit, thank heck. but still. youre so cruel to your poor characters lmaoo

oh gosh

‘You fall apart slowly, like pieces of you peeling away until you’re nothing more than your broken heart. The sobs that wrack your body are relentless and you shove your forearm into your mouth to muffle your cries. You want to bite into your skin. You want to distract yourself from the agony tearing you to shreds. You want to feel anything but the pain.///Tears sweep into your hair, cloud your vision and your whole face floods with heat as you try to breathe through the pain. You’re cleaved into pieces on that bed, eyes squeezed shut as the tears keep flowing, and your throat burns’

this hurts damn, it is so vivid?? i can really feel it 

i am so glad you got into writing yk?? so glad

NO PLS, TELL HIM. TELL HIM :((( ‘shes nice once you get to know her?? shes known nat for years now!! years!!

oh god ‘he looks younger without the burden of your time together’ this is so angsty omg

‘Well, he was stumbling through his apology and I just let him finish.” Your body fills with warmth as you remember his embarrassed smile, the way he shoved his baseball cap farther down his head, chin tucked to his chest, trying to hide that face. “When he was done, I opened my mouth to say something polite but what came out was ‘You look like someone I’d very much like to kiss’.”

this is so soft i stg im crying in the club

OH SHITTTTTTTTTTT , you left it off like that!!! thats so cruel!!!! i can’t!!! how dare you!!!! :””””””((( im typing this with tears in my eyes ill have u know!!

anyway!!! very good fic!! you could honestly make that into a longfic very easily lol. i felt too many emotions :(( 

i was just about to say where is the fluff!! where is it!! when i saw the next one and yay :))) pls i cant have more angsty stuff rn

.

cookies and rings and things bucky and reader

‘how much do you love me?’ ‘count the snowflakes, multiply by a million’

did you have to start the fic off with such a SOFT line? its so soft! so TENDER 

‘He wonders what kinda insane person wears socks without any clothes on, but then decides that it’s the kind of person who’s fallen in love with him.’  jesus, the soft moments filled with love are the greatest <3

you can write fluff so well, whyd you have to pain me with all that angst ;””””) (1/10 hurt, 9/10 comfort is the way to go lolol) (jkjk ill read the angsty ones too when i have the spoons) (gonna reread that hydra steve one and ik thatll fuck me UP)

‘ Then, he can feel the cold metal of the ring she slid onto her own finger less than twenty-four hours ago and realizes that he had thought a lot of things shouldn’t be possible, and yet they still are. ‘

you literally brought me to tears reading this softness, you have truly found my weakness

‘ She’s so damn gorgeous with flour on her face and eye bags beneath her eyes that he’s sure she will inevitably make his heart burst ‘

he already likes her so much! i can’t believe this is affecting me so much :’)

‘Bucky is quite sure Sam is in love with his girlfriend in the fact that he’s in love with the fact that his girlfriend is possibly in love with Bucky’

this is so soft??? sam loves reader bc reader loves bucky sm. pls my hear <3333

you do fluff SO WELL DAMN 

‘F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s voice echoes in his small little perch and he still thinks it’s weird without having the side effect of Stark in his suit chasing after him to hear the A.I. but he shoves that uncomfortable feeling of the dead man out of his head. That is too much regret to unpack right now on a mission. ‘

yike bringing back that reminder oof

but thats so soft??? (i am def overusing soft but,,,,, i love it and the vibe) she sent him cookies! god i can feel the love  

‘She expresses her feelings through cooking, which Bucky has learnt the hard way. One time, they got into an argument over something stupid—he can’t even remember what started it—and came to the kitchen at 2AM to see her sitting at the kitchen island crying her eyes out and surrounded by baskets of muffins.’

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 my hEART

you show how much they love each other in so many ways??? i am dying

“Alright, I like it.” Rolling his eyes, he pecks her forehead and she smiles victoriously. It’s so adorable that Bucky, with less than three hours of sleep, adds, “God, I want to marry you.//”“What?”//Oh.Shit.

oh my god! i am literally tearing up!!! AGAIN!!!!!!!!

oh shit o am literally crying

your fluff got me crying harder than your angst i hope youre happy

I really hope you enjoy reading this?? i keep forgetting to like text you but i wanted to do something for your birthday. especially in quarantine when everythings gone crazy. one year i swear ill do something REALLY good for you. not making promises bc i hate if i dont. but ill like, learn how to podfic because you D E S E R V E  I T 

ive spent like three hours doing this lolol 

thank you so much for everything hayley!

[archivistsrock]

The Boys in the Band, pt. 2: The Performance

Someone asked for a spoilery review, so I’m going to go into detail here. Maybe a mix of review, plot, and specific cute/hot things that happen during the show. I don’t really consider anything in the show to be “spoilery”, but if you’re planning on seeing this and just love surprises and not knowing anything about what’s to come...don’t read this, I guess. ;) [eta: Okay, so it seems like it’s mostly plot overview with random other observations sprinkled in. I’m not good at this! Also, I go into much more detail about the first half...it’s funnier, has more Matt, and I just peetered out]

Also, read on if you want deets on just how much Matt we see during the shower scene… :P

The general plot of the play is that Michael (Jim Parsons) is holding a birthday party for his friend Harold (Zachary Quinto). The entire play takes place in Michael’s apartment. There is an upstairs (bedroom and bathroom) and a downstairs (living room, mostly). If your seats are really close to the front of the stage, there will be some parts of the upstairs that will be blocked from your view. But they’ve cleverly placed mirrors on the ceiling, so what you can’t see straight-on, you can see in reflections. It’s not a problem at all. I was in the second row and was really worried I’d be too close and have obstructed sightlines, but I LOVED IT. You’re so close to the actors; it’s pretty amazing. I wouldn’t change my seats if given the chance. I think if I was able to see it again, I’d like to have a mezzanine seat. But I wouldn’t give up my up-close seat for the world. It was awesome. For...reasons...if you’re near the front, I think being left of center is better than to the right. Just as a tip, if you haven’t bought tickets yet.

Donald (Matt Bomer) is Michael’s best friend from college. He moved out of the city because he couldn’t handle all the people and stresses of city life. Donald is depressed. Loves to read. Likes to chill on the sidelines and just watch other people. He’s very caring. I totally dig Donald. He’s...a janitor? and works hard, but also has issues with failure that he attributes to his parents. He equates failure with receiving love. He’s known he was gay since forever. He drives into the city each weekend to see his therapist and visit Michael. He knows the other men that are invited to the party, but he isn’t in their friend group. He knows them bc he knows Michael, iykwim. He and Harold don’t seem to particularly like each other. Maybe bc they’re both best friends of Michael so there’s some competition/protectiveness?? idk. Haven’t thought about it enough.

Michael lives beyond his means. He’s also pretty depressed and has issues with being gay. I mean, that’s a huge theme of the play. How these guys deal with living in a time and place where society clearly doesn’t support or approve of homosexuality. As many of the actors have said in interviews, it’s interesting to see the play and notice how much things have changed, but also how many things in the play still resonate today. Oh, I guess it’s important to point out that it takes place in 1968.

The play starts with Michael in his apartment getting ready for the party. His doorbell rings and Donald enters. ::raucous applause:: The next 15 minutes (I’m really bad with time, so don’t take too much stock in that) is Michael and Donald talking with one another about their parents, lives, etc. General banter of friends. Donald notices that Michael is not drinking alcohol and hasn’t been for the last few weeks. He can tell because Michael gets mean when he’s drunk (keep this in mind). Michael says his therapist encouraged him to lay off drinking bc it’s obviously becoming a problem for him.

It’s been a long day and Donald needs a shower. ::extremely raucous applause:: So Matt strips down to his undies and walks around a bit. Lays on a bed. Adjusts himself. Lots of this is only seen through the mirrors on the ceiling. Not sure about people in the mezzanine? They might be able to just see him laying there, idk. Then he wanders to the shower and strips...ALL THE WAY DOWN to shower. So yes. Not only do we see Matt’s ass, but we see his dick, too. Where I was sitting, I only saw it in reflections, but still. HEY THERE, MATT’S DICK! :P Whether or not other people in different seats see more or less of him, I’m not sure. This is why I say that the left is better than the right. The shower is on the right side of the stage, and there’s a sink/pedestal in front of the shower. So I think some people’s view of Matt in the shower is blocked by the sink? I was at enough of an angle where it wasn’t a problem. People were literally gasping. LOLOL.  The theater was definitely a-twitter. Lol. [random aside that I saw Angels in America during this trip, and in that play Lee Pace gets naked and just walks around the stage in the buff, so I guess it was my week for seeing ass and penis on stage? Lol]

Then he gets out and puts on a towel and walks around in that for a while, which is nice. Then he goes into the bedroom and changes and you can see him in his undies briefly (lol pun) again. So anyway, THAT HAPPENS. Lol

While Matt is showering and getting ready, Michael’s phone rings. It’s his old college roommate, Alan (Brian Hutchison) who’s having a breakdown of some sort and wants to come over and talk to Michael. The problem? Alan is straight (or is he??) and “square” and doesn’t know that Michael is gay.  Which is a problem bc a bunch of gay men are about to descend on Michael’s apt. Michael tells him to quickly come over with the hope that he will arrive and leave before too many people show up (lol right).  But honestly, who’s listening to Michael at this point bc OMG MATT IS NAKED. Seriously, I think I just stared at Matt for 95% of the show regardless of who was talking. Lol. It helped that I read the play beforehand and watched the movie so I knew what was going on.  ;)

So Michael tells Donald that Alan is coming over and warns him that Alan doesn’t know he’s gay so don’t act gay. Donald is mildly offended and has a funny line about sitting with his legs spread and talking in a deep register. Lol. But anyway, Jim and Matt are great together and you can really see their friendship (well, Michael and Donald’s friendship). They’re very funny together. The doorbell rings and we all think it’s going to be Alan, but it’s the first of the party guests – Larry (Andrew Rannells), Hank (Tuc Watkins), and Emory (Robin de Jesus). Hank and Larry are a couple (with issues). Emory is unapologetically flamboyant. He is hilarious. So Hank was married (he’s in the process of getting divorced) and has 2 kids. He’s the most stereotypically masculine of the group. He’s bi, “with a definite  lean in one direction” (hint: not chicks). He’s a math teacher. The oldest of the group. He’s dating Larry, who’s a bit of a man-whore (and a commercial artist). Larry doesn’t believe in monogamy, and this makes Hank sad. So this is a running issue between the two throughout the night. Andrew is hilarious in the play. He has GREAT facial expressions and reactions.

So Michael introduces everyone and it’s a bit awkward between Larry and Donald. Clearly, they have some sort of history (spoiler alert that’s pretty obvious: They “know” each other because they fucked in the baths once, but never spoke to one another. Yes, they enjoyed their fuck). Throughout the night, Larry is continuously coming on to Donald. Leaning into his space, stroking his arm, etc. It’s pretty great.

Doorbell rings again. Michael warns everyone about Alan and to PLEASE ACT STRAIGHT. Cue lots of hilarity with Emory who is just not into pretending to be butch. So he opens the door...and it’s not Alan. It’s Bernard (Michael B. Washington). Bernard is black (relevant to later parts of the play). He works at the library (a bookstore? Can’t recall which now). Anyway, he knows Donald bc he’s always supplying Donald with books. Lots of comments on how Donald reads a shit-ton. Bernard is besties with Emory.

More hilarity and banter ensues. There is a song and dance number (Donald does not participate, but Matt looks cute standing there and he does cute mini hand/arm motions). While they’re all dancing and being silly, the doorbell rings, but no one hears it but Hank, who goes to open the door and...it’s Alan. So he walks in on all the guys doing a choreographed dance. AWKWARD. Michael is all...”Uh...we’re just being silly!” haha. Yeah. More introductions. Emory is Emory and is pissing Michael off with his refusal to stop being camp. Alan takes to Hank because he’s the most traditionally masculine. Hank and Alan talk about their kids and Larry is getting increasingly pissed bc Hank is hiding the fact that he’s gay and with Larry (although they’re all—poorly-- hiding the fact that they’re gay). Michael goes upstairs to speak with Alan and what his breakdown/problem is.

So the action shifts to upstairs, but we can still see everyone downstairs. So they’re all acting like they’re at the party and are fake talking, etc. This is when Larry really gets into Donald’s space. He’s pissed at Hank because Hank are Alan were being all chummy. So he’s taking it out on Hank by being extra flirty with Donald. Donald isn’t really..opposed?...to it, but he’s maybe a little confused and awkward about it bc...hello?!? Hank is here? What even...? lol.

So upstairs, Alan decides he doesn’t want to talk about his issue and instead talks about how attractive Hank is. Lol. He also likes Donald. Alan’s been downing drinks (Donald is kind of the unofficial drink maker) and he’s drunk. Then he gets all homophobic and says shitty things about Emory. Michael gets a little pissed and goes downstairs while Alan stays upstairs in the bathroom.

Downstairs, the doorbell rings. Michael answers it, expecting it to be Harold (the birthday boy who is clearly very late). It’s a young studly guy dressed as a cowboy (Charlie Carver) who sings Happy Birthday to Michael and kisses him. Oops! Wrong guy! Cowboy is Emory’s gift to Harold. Harold was supposed to answer the door. But cowboy is early (you’re supposed to show up at midnight bc you’re a midnight cowboy!) and Harold is late, so...yeah. Didn’t work out. Then Alan comes downstairs and thinks Cowboy is Harold. Emory says, “No, he’s FOR Harold.” Alan is increasingly hostile and Emory is done with the fucking charades. Emory makes a comment about Alan’s wife, and Alan goes fucking berserk and starts punching Emory while calling him a bunch of gay slurs. Alan is pulled off Emory who is bleeding. Chaos is breaking out. The doorbell rings. Donald answers it and in walks Harold (Zach).

Harold is quite the character. He used to be a professional ice skater. He describes himself as an “ugly, pockmarked Jew fairy”.  He’s high. He’s very sardonic. He looks around and it’s like...WTF is happening? Lol. Alan is passed out on the floor. Emory has blood all over his face. Cowboy sings happy birthday to Harold, kisses him, then Harold reads the card tied to him and starts laughing hysterically.  (this technically ends the first act in the play, but there’s no intermission or anything so the action keeps going)

[Note Larry leaning into Donald’s space in the background]

Bernard and Emory go upstairs to clean up. Up until this point, the play has been really really funny. The general tone is pretty light and humorous. At this point, the tone starts to change dramatically. At some point, I don’t remember exactly when, this change is made blatantly clear by the lights going dim, and all the action on stage freezes, aside from Michael. He heads to the bar and pours and downs a drink. Remember what Donald said about Michael when he’s drunk? MEAN. So this marks the turning point. Light go back up, action resumes. [I’m not sure what I think about them doing it this way, but it hammers the point home that Michael is now drinking and things are about to get dark, so eh. Whatever. ] Michael gets increasingly asshole-ish. You really start to hate Michael.

Alan declares he’s going to puke, so Hank leads him upstairs to the bathroom. Michael and Harold exchange barbs. You really start to wonder why they’re friends. Every time Michael takes a drink, Harold proclaims, “Turning!” Like Donald, he knows alcohol turns Michael into an asshole. Michael is getting drunker and meaner and Harold is not one to just put up with things.  If something gets dished out, he’ll deal it right back ten-fold. But while brutally honest, he’s not being as downright cruel as Michael, who even starts throwing racist remarks at Bernard and cruel comments to Emory (which really horrifies Donald).

Alan comes downstairs and proclaims his intention to leave, and bizarrely announces that Hank should leave with him. This leads to the announcement that Hank and Larry and lovers, and basically the charade is up and hey! We’re all gay; and btw, we think you are too, Alan. Michael won’t let anyone leave and invents a “party game” for them all to play. Basically, you have to call someone that you’ve truly loved. You get different amounts of points for various things – if someone answers, you say who you are, you get the person on the line that you want to speak with, you tell them you love them. A total of 10 possible points. Donald and Harold are immediately like, YEAH NO. Not playing. So Bernard and Emory both call people. Does not turn out particularly well. I literally cried for Bernard. Michael B. Washington does a phenomenal job.

Hank and Larry have it out again, but they end up calling each other, saying they love each other, and going upstairs to have sex in Michael’s bedroom.

Michael starts harassing Alan and telling him he should call their other college roommate, Justin, that Michael is convinced Alan was in love with. He’s in total asshole mode. Alan dials a number and ends up telling the person he loves them. Michael grabs the phone assuming it’s Justin..it’s not. It’s his wife.

Alan leaves. The mood of the party has degenerated into a total morose atmosphere. Harold just goes off on Michael with a huge truth bomb about how self-loathing Michael is and how badly he doesn’t want to be gay, but guess what? You’re gay and you’ll always be gay. He then takes off with Cowboy. Emory and Bernard (who is super drunk by this point) then leave, and Michael has a breakdown. He basically starts hyperventilating and is comforted by Donald. He pulls himself together and leaves to go to a midnight mass. Donald stays behind to read a bit, after assuring Michael that he’ll be back next weekend. The play ends with Donald reading and the silhouette of Hank and Larry making love upstairs in bed.

So yeah, I was much more brief when it came to the second half, in part bc it’s not as much “fun.” It’s much more dramatic. Very good, but not as fun to retell, and as far as Matt goes, aside from the end scene, he kind of disappears in the second half. I mean, he’s physically present and had lines, but there is definitely more focus on the other characters. He kinda just hangs in the periphery watching everything go down. And silently flirting with Larry lol.

All the characters do a stellar job. Charlie Carver/The Cowboy has the smallest role. He’s basically a big dummy, and provides some comic relief with his idiocy and innocence.  Tuc (Hank) does a great job, but his role isn’t as humorous or flashy as the others. Michael B. Washington is great as Bernard, and I was really feeling for him at the end. He has a great monologue that delves into race and slurs. He and Emory have a touching moment. Robin de Jesus is hilarious as Emory. Jim does a good job as insecure Michael. Apparently, he wears special shoes during the show because of his broken foot. I would not have known anything was wrong with his foot. He’s pretty spry walking around that stage. He does a good job playing a mean asshole. Lol. Andrew has hilarious reactions and facial expressions. Zach is hilarious as Harold. Very sarcastic and kind of deadpan? He has a very interesting way of speaking. Harold is super weird, and Zach does a super job. He comes in late in the play, but has an integral part once he arrives. And I love Donald. His role is definitely not as flashy as some of the others, but I feel you really get to know and like Donald.

You laugh A LOT during the first half of the show. You still have funny moments in the second half, but it is also more shocking and dramatic. Pretty thought provoking. And thinking about the time period that this play takes place in (1968) and how tough it was to be out (or not out) at that time, and looking on stage at the all gay cast...it’s a pretty special feeling. They look like they probably have a blast on stage every night.

I happened to be there on Zach’s actual birthday, which was funny because it’s his character’s birthday in the play. When Matt opens the door and it’s Zach standing there, the first line Donald says is, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Harold.” He said it VERY pointedly and I was like !!!!!!!! So that was special. Oh! A Matt insta post:

If you aren’t going to be able to see it, you can watch the original movie. Obviously, it’s not as cool as seeing your faves in the role, but the original play, movie, and the revival are all very faithful to each other. Same dialogue and everything. The movie does add a few scenes at the beginning outside of Michael’s apartment, and some of the movie takes place outside on a balcony instead of all inside, but those are very minor details. I think they cut out a few lines of dialogue in the revival so they could cut down on the time, but offhand I don’t recall what they cut out. I’ll have to read the play again. So you’ll hear all the stuff that happens and all the funny lines and stuff that they say in the play. Then you can envision Matt in the role of Donald. I like Matt’s portrayal of Donald better than the original actor’s, but OBVIOUSLY I am biased. lol

[shell-senji]

Ficwriters Week Day 1 - Words of Validation

Writers: Favorite comments

A day late, but oh well...  I’ll be honest. This was so damned hard for me because I’m always so unbelievably tickled when I get feedback. I’m still kind of amazed I’ve even written and shared these things I’ve written, so for people to both read and then take time to comment—and like it!—I’m sort of dumbfounded. So thank you to ALL of you who’ve been so supportive and kind.

Anyway, here are some reviews from my stories that made me smile, in no particular order:

(below the cut, apologies to mobile users if it doesn’t work...)

“Haha! As a professional editor I found this one shot very funny. I too have the headcanon that Vegeta is meticulous about many things - including grammar - where Bulma is famously messy.”

“So cute! Absolutely loved it! Everyone is perfectly in character and that is totally something Chizuru would do.”

“Cute! I loved the fluff, and Hijikata's sassy attitude for Valentine's Day! Really fun and adorable!”

“OMG! "The Great Desk Defilement" is too great. Poor Laxus, I'm surprised he didn't electrocute the both of them. The idea of Gajeel getting those books for Levy makes my heart so happy. I am thoroughly enjoying your take on these prompts so far!”

“The book titles made me laugh - real and imagined - hilarious! I loved the idea of Lily intervening on both Levy and Gajeel's best interests - the important tidbit of information from the book on mating dragon slayer behaviour bookmarked for ease of use. That's support! And how cute ~ Levy gifting Gajeel with a solid script 'iron'. Good job!”

“Oh my gosh this is wonderful! I'm truly impressed with how much fun this is while keeping everyone completely in character. Honestly, this is awesome! Funny, well-written, sweet - the ending feels **good**. I'm so glad you decided to write and share this. :)”

“Fortunately for Natsu, the members of Fairy Tail are all mature individuals who will stop bringing this up after a few days. Yeah, right. As you said, he's a dead man walking. I loved it.”

“ROFL! This was completely awesome!!!!! Poor...hmm... I'm not sure who I feel the most sorry for! Juicy Lucy is definitely worth nuts in a vise. But... Natsu is just too adorable! And Ice Stripper...lol! That really cracked me up.”

“Just devoured those last two chapters!! Ahh thank you soo much for sharing this with da world! I am soo grateful! I hope you keep writing!!”

“Thanks so very much for this tale. You cheered up an otherwise rubbish week. Hope you have a fab weekend!”

“I've lost track of how many times I've reread this story now, I can't get enough of it! I'm really glad I have too. There's actually quite a few nice little bits you spread throughout. Things that start out simple but have more value later (like Natsumi and Kuro getting married). Really love the pacing, as tortuous as it feels waiting for more it just feel really good. Now more on the specific chapter: Their date was so cute too I was smiling the whole time! (And although it may be a normal kitten I'm still holding out hope that somehow her friends will magically find her and remember ok! Somewhat unrelated but still.) Love Rikuo's reaction too. The hints that he's been kinda out of sorts, but after their date he's back to old tricks again. Nice touch, suggests that their relationship will kinda bring out the best in each other (hopefully?). Anyways, love the chapter/story as always! Can't wait for more!”

“I literally dropped everything as soon as I got a notification for this. Even my orange juice. Anyway, Nurarihyon...what the hell? Now I'm getting crazy images of Rikuo and Itaku in my head. Ew. Rikuo and Zen I've seen many times, but Itaku? Lol nope. I like how you display the titles of different talks on that youkai forum thingy. The fact that some of the spelling/grammar isn't even right makes it more realistic...Ever seen that video about people misspelling “pregnant”? Ryuuji needs some colonic irrigation. My treat for him. Sleeping with cats. Sounds heavenly~ I like how Kagome's unintentionally doing stalker-ish things. It's cute XD Thank you for another great chapter! I'm looking forward to the next one!”

“GAHHH Okay so honestly I think that the different 'titles' in the beginning are just too funny. I love the humor that you sprinkle through your chapters, it is so natural and not forced in the slightest. I also LOVE that you gave Kagome the pet name! I was a little worried that you weren't actually gonna do it! The banter is so freakin' adorable, I shouldn't love these two as much as I do. BUT I CAN'T HELP MYSELF WITH HOW YOU WRITE THEM. Like...these two really seem like they are going to go really well together. I have a good feeling about it all! I can't help but wonder if there is anybody in Rikuo's clan who wouldn't approve of his 'courting' a Miko. HMMMm I know that despite her prior experience with Inuyasha, her grandpa would give her a hard time lolol AS ALWAYS amazing work with this, I seriously can't tell you how happy I am that you've continued to stick with this story!”

I better stop before this gets out of hand…I told you…ALL the reviews I get make my heart nearly explode with happiness. It’s highly possible one of you may kill me some day…still, what a way to go…

[promiscuous-jalapeno]

sooooo how rfa members and saeran and v (let's say he's not blind for this one lol) would react and what would they do if they were in a club and mc started to do a sexy/provocative dance for them in the middle of the dancefloor and they're just like, sitting at the bar watching her??? please give me life with this one 😍😂

~Oh man. Alright, here we go Coyote Ugly lmfao

◉ Yoosung

Of course he is blushing when he sees you

Almost falls off of the bar stool

Low-key glancing around making sure no guys are staring at you

While also taking pleasure in the fact that you’re looking at him

He feels so special!

But also…should he look away?

He’s never been in this situation before!

It’s flustering him, honestly

And you’re making him feel hot omg

His pants are a little tighter

Already imagining what he is going to tell the guild back in LOLOL

Taking mental pictures of you while it’s happening

He’s definitely going to remember this moment

When you finally walk up to him he doesn’t even give you a chance to say anything

Pulls you into a long deep kiss to try and get some of that built up passion out of himself

◉ Jumin

He is smirking

Just letting you do your thing

Took some blurry photos tbh

Enjoying every god damn second of it

Giving out those ‘yeah, she’s mine’ eyes

“the smolder” look (sry I HAD TO…HE WOULD)

Confident as shit about this

Nodding at everyone in visual range

“You wish you had that,” he tells a guy who has been staring as well

Alright though

You made a big mistake

Guess who is asking you to dance for him now on a regular basis

He’s already thinking of songs in his head

And outfits…

◉ Zen

His eyes are about to pop out of his head!

Cheeks are immediately flush

He’s taking pictures

Taking short videos

Taking selfies of him smirking with you in the background dancing

Enjoying the show for a moment until he remembers that you’re in public

And other MEN CAN SEE YOU

One is sitting right next to him, staring

Omg and two others are getting awfully close to you on the dance floor

Okay, now he is in protector mode

Leaves his drink at the bar and jumps up to dance with you

That way everyone knows you belong to him

Plus

He’s got some moves of his own he’d like to show you ;)

◉ Jaehee

She turns around to see you dancing out there, looking at her

OMG

She chokes on her drink a bit, honestly

It’s suddenly hot in this club

You look so amazing

She can’t take her eyes off of you

Had no idea you could move like this

Okay…

Some idea… ;)

Is she smiling a little bit?

Yes she is

Trying to keep a straight face, though

Hears some guys at the bar talking to each other about approaching you

Then you make your way over to her and give her a big kiss

The guys are now cheering you both on

“Maybe we should make our way home,” she suggests with a smirk

◉ Saeyoung

Wow

He did not expect to see you out there dancing like that when he turned around with his drink

Chewing on his bottom lip while watching you

You were looking good af

He was honestly fine sitting back and enjoying the show tbh

But some guy got behind you and started to dance with you

Oh hell no

Chugged his drink and made his way over to you

Wedges himself between the two of you to kind of give him the hint that he should scram

He actually likes this song

So he starts to dance, too

And you guys have a little sexy dance-off out on the floor haha

He’s actually not being goofy?? It’s actually pretty hot and like a Chippendale’s level of moves

But then he had started to remove clothing and the bouncers put an end to it

“Sir, put your clothing back on or I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

◉ V

Where’s that gif of him Viktor

Ah yes, there it is

That’s exactly what happens when he sees you out there dancing like that

He had no idea???

How did he not know this?

He was not prepared ok

Once he gets over the initial shock he is really into this, honestly

He actually chuckles and gets a sideways smirk while watching you

Crosses his legs and slowly sips his drink while you dance

Beaming every time someone at the bar makes a comment about you

Looks over at them all cocky

Eventually joins you when he finishes his drink

Grinds up behind you and pulls you close

“I’m so lucky that you’re all mine,” he whispers in your ear

You don’t make it all the way home before he has to pull the car over because he is thinking about it so much

◉ Saeran

Well, shit.

“This is interesting,” he mutters

Cocks his eyebrow and is now chewing on his drink straw while watching you

Low-key making sure no one tries to grind up on you or he’s going to punch them

Trying his best to look nonchalant about it but inside he is sweatin’ tbh

Tapping his foot to try and keep chill

How dare you do this to him

Puts his drink down and just gets up and leaves through the crowd

You’re confused?? Where is he going?

You end up going after him

Moving through the crowds of people when a hand grabs your arm and yanks you

Saeran has pulled you into the bathroom and locks the door

And…well you know lolol

[datingadviceonreddit]

Basically, this guy at my uni has been dropping hints that he's interested, also recently asked me if I was interested in a relationship. I was a bit thrown off, so I told him I didn't really know, hadn't really thought about it, considering everything I was dealing with in my personal life.  We've been friends this semester, but one thing that's kind of bothering me is definitely.. his approach with religion. He's a devout Christian, and I'm.. not. I probably fall within the parameters of agnostic, and I've pretty clearly expressed that to him. Despite that, he's asked me to hang out with his Christian club friends (which I did and had no problem with), he makes some Christian jokes? ("Speaking of happy, God would make you happy lolol"-- and I've definitely said they make me uncomfortable), and asked me to go to large group with him (which I did, stating that "it'd be an interesting new experience to go once"). But he consistently keeps mentioning going to more (religious) events with him. He's previously said that he won't get to see me as often next year since our degree plan paths are separating and we don't really have any easy reason to see each other: we're not in any orgs together, no classes together, not many of the same interests... But maybe this.. anxiety/uneasiness he's having can explain why he's been more pushy to try to find places where we could potentially hang out regularly? He's been mentioning joining the same organizations next semester, etc... and I don't know how to respond. I don't want to lead him on when I clearly know he's interested, but I'm not too sure on my own feelings yet either.  I honestly don't know if I like him. Sometimes our conversations are really fun, they flow easily, there's great banter, but then sometimes I feel like he becomes overly conscious of... trying to impress me? And sometimes his really conservative values show up, and it starts to feel like I can't really... easily converse with him-- it puts a startling halt in our conversations and in my interest. But when we start conversing just human to human, just talking about random stuff, childhood stuff, joking around, I start feeling good about it again. It's this cycle between some pretty good chemistry when talking to each other, but some pretty key differences that I'm not too sure I can reconcile.  I may be overly cautious, considering I've never dated before, but I really don't know if I like him. I don't even really know what /liking/ someone is, aha. Although it honestly feels like I'd be considerably more interested if he wasn't so heavily religious, however shallow it might seem.Anyways, can you help me figure out if I actually like this guy? (if that's even possible haha) Or at least, what approach I should take with this guy? Tell him straight up what I'm thinking (which might be fairly difficult, idk, please enlighten me)? Make it clear that I'm not too sure? I don't want to just.. distance myself from him gradually-- because I honestly feel like it'd be a disservice to him-- he's a great person that I like talking to, but I don't know if I want anything past friendship with him. via /r/dating_advice

[littlestarprincess]

Wangnan, ehwa, rachel, and baam! :O

This is so long and rambly I’m sorry ;;

Wangnan

how i feel about this character

He’s so underrated???? Like, if you think about it with the way TOG is constructed, the narrative is really split into two complimentary stories -- the story of Bam as an irregular introduced to the world of the Tower from outside, and the story of Wangnan who lives as part of the system. And like, obviously most of the stories are kind of a slow burn right now outside of Bam (when was the last time we had an update on Kun’s goals other than “follow Bam”? And yet everyone treats him as though he’s a protagonist. He is a main character, but he’s not a protagonist . . . . ) but Wangnan’s story is clearly meant to parallel Bam’s. Bam is the outsider’s perspective on the tower. Wangnan’s the insider (in more ways than one, since SIU has mentioned he knows a lot about the inside of the tower, too.) If people would just be a little bit patient. . .

But as soon as he does start being plot relevant, there are people bitching about how SIU is trying to “force” them to care about Wangnan like ? ? ? He’s been Bam’s foil the entire time guys.

ACTUALLY! That’s something that I haven’t talked about at all yet, but Wangnan really is Bam’s foil, in a similar way to how Rachel is Kun’s foil. Everyone’s impression of Bam has been “innocent ball of pure sunshine” on the second floor, but when we’re introduced to Bam again on the 20th floor as Viole, Wangnan is the one being the innocent ball of sunshine. He’s a little more cynical and tough at first, but his primary way of dealing with people is to be honest and optimistic. Like Bam in S1, he also relies a lot on quick thinking because he’s not as powerful as the people around him, and he blames himself when things go wrong. But Bam sticks to his guns even when it divides him from people -- he point blank tells Endorssi he won’t be her Servant in NHS because he needs Kaiser’s name too, and he tends to just flat out ignore people when he doesn’t like them, while Wangnan doesn’t care about dignity or anything of the sort -- as long as he gets what he wants in the end, he’s willing to lie, cheat, steal or beg.

The team up between Wangnan and Rachel now has a layer of depth I hadn’t thought about before. Hmm. . . . . Also, if Wangnan is Bam’s foil, I wonder if he’ll also receive a great many power ups in the next season. . . . Karaka’s super evil training?!

all the people I ship romantically with this character

E V E R Y O N E please love Wangnan he’s a good kid he’ll treat you write. Right.

I don’t really ship Wangnan/Ehwa because most of the shipping material I’ve seen for it seems to be along the lines of “let’s ignore how important Ehwa’s relationship with Bam has been to the narrative in order to ship Bam with Kun or Endorssi” pair the spares type deal? But I’ll talk about that with Ehwa’s section lolol. But like. . . honestly, Wangnan makes a good pairing with literally everyone. He’s just really genuine and real with people, and he brings out sides of them that you don’t really see anywhere else.

Kun? Brings out his vulnerability and shines light on his more insecure sides.

Rachel? A little antagonistic, but he, again, brings light to the sides of her that other people over look (granted, we haven’t seen a lot of this but the whole conversation about her tidying up a lot comes to light -- he noticed that and kind of tried to dig at her the way Kun was, but it’s not the kind of thing Kun would comment on, either. Kun doesn’t ask questions. Wangnan does lolol)

Karaka? Time to be a mentor figure for Wangnan, okay, I don’t make the rules.

Vicente? Tamed

Bam? Well he’s darn well the person who got Bam into a team again.

Cassano? Calling him out on his BS and making him rethink things. Hopefully that works out to the extent of Cassano saving Horyang. (Also, Cassano/Goseng/Horyang love triangle/team up would be hilarious, but that’s unrelated.)

Wangnan is just very refreshing for ships because he earnestly interacts with people, which, compared to Bam or Kun is really nice.

my non-romantic OTP for this character

Wangnan & Ehwa as teammates who have each other’s back is always nice to see!

Akraptor’s encouragement of Wangnan before was really nice too ;;

I ship Wangnan with being respected and cherished please and thank you he’s a good kid (he’s old enough to drink . . . . though i guess the drinking age in korea is different from what i’m used to haha)

my unpopular opinion about this character

 That he’s a protagonist and not a side character, evidently. . . . no one seems to understand this . . . . |||orz

one thing i wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

 Man. . .at this point I just wanna learn more about the ring and the red light district? What is going on there?

But also please give Wangnan friends and blankets thanks TT_TT

Ehwa

how i feel about this character

 She’s such an angel and I’m so proud of her? She’s grown so much and she keeps growing, and I love her she deserves happiness and good things please give her happiness and good things ;A:

all the people I ship romantically with this character

Um. E-everyone. . .  Actually, now that I think about it I don’t have a whole lot of Ehwa ships. The only people her interactions with stand out to me right now are Bam, Wangnan and Bero Bero. I don’t ship her with Wangnan so much because it really feels like a lot of the time people are dismissing her relationship with Bam, like “Side characters should be with side characters!”

But her relationship with Bam is really super sweet? She started out initially harsh and untrusting with him, but has slowly become inspired by him, and wants to become stronger alongside him . . . . The moment when she thought to herself, “No. . . I should call him Bam” really got me straight in the feels. And Bam’s interactions with her are also very sweet -- he doesn’t ever seem put off by her tsundere moments or anything, and I think he kind of gets where she’s coming from, and he seems really comfortable around her.

I still low key ship her with Bero Bero, too. There’s just a fun, “I’m DEFINITELY just jealous of her beauty and TOTALLY NOT admiring her at all what are you talking about” dynamic, even if they haven’t seen each other in ages TT_TT

my non-romantic OTP for this character

I said before that I like Wangnan and Ehwa’s team up, but I also like her bonding with Bero Bero ;a;

my unpopular opinion about this character

She’s better than Endorssi, hands down.

one thing i wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

Please bring Ehwa back to the main plot soon, SIU. Please. I miss her.

Rachel

how i feel about this character

Complicated. . . . On the one hand, she’s a lot of things that I didn’t know I needed re: female characters. She’s not pretty or talented or meek. She wants what she wants and she goes after it, but she’s not cool. I can also understand why she would leave Bam behind, even without the reveal of the whole “destiny” thing -- taking care of someone and raising someone and teaching them everything about the world, and doing it right, is a lot of work. It eats up the time and energy you have to be yourself, and here she is just finding a strange boy in a cave (or whatever happened there, seeking him out? Planning on assassinating him?) and presumably with her own dreams -- I can understand why she wouldn’t want Bam to keep clinging to her, and I can also understand why she wouldn’t be able to let him go all the way either. (And she can’t. Her speech with Kun and her expression after Bam said he understood they’d be enemies both confirm this -- but she’s sticking by her initial decision too. Rachel letting go of Bam is a long journey.)

But also. . . there are a lot of hints that the way she treated Bam sometimes was not very good. She tells him he’ll never be chosen, and that only chosen people can go up, she lies to him, she manipulates him . . . even discounting the heavy, plot stuff (pushing him to what seemed to be his death, selling him out to FUG, etc) -- and when she broke down and told him he should have been waiting for her in that cave the whole time. . .  I dunno. I think on some level, Rachel was legitimately abusive towards Bam. It could be me projecting onto Bam’s character with the things I’ve been through, or it could be genuinely where SIU is going with her character, but . . . it’s still my overall impression.

(Sometimes I feel like there’s a lot of pressure if you like Bam to also hate Rachel, but somehow I can’t bring myself to do that. She’s just small and sad in a big world that she’s not ready for, and we’ve all felt like that before, right?)

all the people i ship romantically with this character

Yura, Endorssi, Kun, Hoaqin . . . normally I don’t like rival-type ships but there’s two of those. . . I think they’re more satisfying with Rachel. With Kun it’s like an understated rivalry and subtle digs back and forth, and then with Endorssi there’s a power struggle that goes back and forth pretty well despite them both having different levels of experience. . . what a strange feeling.

Yura and Rachel just seem like a really cute romance. The couple that salts together stays together or whatever. They can be bitter together without feeling guilty or judged, and I think we all kind of need someone like that in our lives.

And Rachel and Hoaqin. . . it’s femmedom. That’s all. Rachel could put Hoaqin on a leash and he’d like it. I initially wrote “secretly like it” but honestly there is not “secret” he’d just outright make dirty comments about it constantly. No one would forget it except Rachel (?). It’s fun watching someone like Hoaqin (who is probably very adamant about being In Charge in a relationship) get a bit flustered by having someone else in charge lolol

my non-romantic OTP for this character

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I don’t think Rachel has any such person in her life. Maybe her relationship with Hwa Ryun? I like how Hwa Ryun is simultaneously very aware of Rachel’s mentality, but also kind of completely baffled like it. Yeah, I don’t understand Irregulars either, Hwa Ryun!

my unpopular opinion about this character

That she’s not inherently unforgivable for what she did to Bam, I guess. . . . ? I genuinely like her as a character and would probably try to befriend her if we ever met, though I don’t think she’d appreciate it lol. I also don’t think she’s as “noble” as some Rachel supporters like to make her out to be though. I think she’s a petty girl who doesn’t want to grow up, and because of that I imagine her story’s going to be harder on her than it needs to be. She causes a lot of her own suffering because of her negative outlook on things, and not because she doesn’t have a point when she says things like “Well, I got a shitty end of the stick here :/”.

one thing i wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

I really hope she and Yura are able to have a happy relationship ;; I got kind of a bad feeling when Yura said “Rachel you came to save me!” though. . . like Yura might be idolizing Rachel too much, and that’ll piss Rachel off. Weird girl. . . . She doesn’t like when other people are “more special” but when she’s “special” to someone she hates that too.

Bam

how i feel about this character

Umm. . .well, we all kind of already know how I feel about Bam. . . . But I’m always okay with talking about how I feel about Bam too so like, I mean. . . 

I dunno, he’s probably the character I’ve connected to the most, like. . . ever. Our experiences in life aren’t one-for-one or anything, but I can relate to the sense of being raised in isolation, and having to accept someone else’s definition of me, and being used as a tool for revenge. I can understand being put on a pedestal and then thrown from it only to be put back on the pedestal by someone else. Seeing someone else go through it meant a lot.

And. . . Bam also is accepted for a lot of traits that I’ve typically had a hard time with. Like being stubborn and a little too blunt and I dunno. And he’s quiet and reserved, and it’s just. . . really nice to have him be the hero of the story, haha.

As for the rest of my feelings. . . I’m pretty vocal about being in love with him, and sometimes I have a lot of worries because of it. But ultimately I really like being in love with him and thinking about him, so . . . it should be fine, right? I feel like I’ve been growing a lot beside him lately, and it’s kind of a good feeling. . . I’ve never really been able to grow alongside anyone peacefully haha.

That probably says bad things about me . . . . orz

It’s a little silly, but I feel safer with Bam too, like he’d protect me if he could. . . I’m gonna stop now because it’s to embarrassing to say these things /)(\

all the people I ship romantically with this character

For reasons that are pretty straightforward since I feel so strongly about him, I’m probably most picky about Bam’s relationships than anyone else. Sometimes I worry that I just dislike certain ships with him because they’re popular, etc, but . . . I do like him with Ehwa (no. 1) and Yuri (this ship only started growing on me after their reunion though. I was always a bit mystified by it’s before, but I guess a lot of people in the fandom kind of project on Bam. I mean?? Hwa Ryun doesn’t even LIKE Bam and yet Hwa Ryun and Elaine both get brought up as part of being his harem, or candidates for being “the heroine”. Tch. It’s obviously Ehwa.

Anyway, I also ship Bam with Xia Xia like that’s my big Bam rarepair is with Xia Xia. So those three for the most part :|b But sometimes I really like exploring his relationship with Rachel from a more romantic perspective too? I feel like I’m a bit of a weirdo in that department though. . .  I don’t ship Bamchel from the perspective of “he and Rachel work out their differences and live happily ever after” but more in the “they had a really unhealthy borderline-abusive relationship in the past and sometimes that has romantic undertones to me” vein, and exploring that can be very cathartic for me.

I used to ship Bam/Kun but it hasn’t really had an impact on me emotionally since the end of the workshop battle. I keep hoping that they’re gonna get happier, but I can’t shake the feeling that SIU’s leading up to something v. Bad in the AA department.

Oh. . . and for some reason the idea of Bam/Hoaqin strikes me as hilarious too, but I feel like that would bother him. . . he’d definitely give me the side-eye over that. . . . .

my non-romantic OTP for this character

Everyone. Please everyone be friends with Bam he loves having friends.

my unpopular opinion about this character

He knows what sex is and how it works. :/ Everyone likes to be like “OOOOH HE’S SO INNOCENT” but like. He has a body that’s past puberty, so even if somehow miraculously absolutely 0 people every thought “hey, maybe we should give him The Talk” (Jinsung or Hwa Ryun at the very least would though? Especially since Jinsung starts of his relationship with Bam by being like “Do you want girls????”) I imagine when his body started doing that thing that bodies tend to do, he might, just maybe, have been like “So, uh. Why does my voice keep doing that -- that thing it just did it again” or like “Hey, I had this really weird dream????” And we know he was a bit of a late bloomer because literally everyone was like “but he’s so smol” on the floor of test, and then “OH he’s GROWN” after the time skip.

Like, there are physical aspects to having a body designed for sexual reproduction, and we generally pass that kind of information on to people, y’know? AND he didn’t bat an eye when Ehwa and Wangnan were being huge perverts the first time he met them, or seem at all confused when Ehwa insinuated that he’d want to have sex with her. . . . But there are people who make a big deal about how he doesn’t know aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanything about that like ? ? ?

And then there was one fic I found where it was like “Oh yeah, Bam accidentally spread rumors about him boning Jinsung because he didn’t understand this sexual slang lolol” and Bam is really clever and probably actually super good at word play? Rachel used to complain about him making games “take too long” because he wasn’t an easy opponent and did things that were unexpected . .  .yeah, he’s really straightforward and single-minded but he’s also pretty good at figuring things out!

Also, I think to an extent he’s purposefully a little distant with people, but that’s not really an unpopular opinion so much as a headcanon, I guess?

one thing i wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

SIU please just let Bam be happy. .  . .TT-TT

More honestly, though, there’s a lot of possible directions I’d love to see Bam’s character take. Maybe that’s why I have so many selfship AUs. . . . except it’s obviously not because Bam in my selfship AUs always has pretty much the same personality and development. I can neither add more suffereing or take suffering away from him orz

But yeah, really the only thing that would upset me as far as Bam’s development is if he dies a tragic death as a martyr. I just want him to be happy. I’m content with anything as long as Bam is happy and smiles in the end