#hah i feel like that's a constant state for me

[violetsareblue-selfships]

good morning!! <3

[madaqueue]

then beg

pairing: suguru geto x f!reader

a/n: BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK srry guys idk what came over me when i was writing this (i need him so bad)

you aren’t sure how much longer you can hold out, your teeth biting down into your lower lip so hard you could nearly taste blood.

“c’mon now, sweetheart, just one little word and this’ll all be over,” your boyfriend purrs above you, his black hair cascading over his shoulders and tickling your bare skin.

you shake your head no, grasping onto any remaining pieces of resolve, collecting the shreds of your determination, to last just one more minute - that’s all you need, you try to reassure yourself.

truthfully, you never thought you’d be the one in this position - after all, it was you who originally made the bet with suguru.

you had put up with enough of his teasing, enough of being called ‘needy’ for just wanting to kiss him, and today you decided to stand up for yourself.

when he walked into your apartment, he just looked so perfect in his work clothes, his dress shirt rolled up above his elbows, his bangs falling across his forehead, how could you not want to fuck him on the spot?

“you’re so sweet when you’re all desperate like this,” he chuckles as you paw at his belt before he even has a chance to get his shoes off.

“suguru, i’m not that desperate,” you huff, stepping back and crossing your arms over your chest in defiance.

"oh yeah?" he tilts his head in amusement. "you couldn’t even wait ten minutes from when i got home, you needed me to fuck you so bad.”

“yeah. and you know what? i’ll prove it,” you state confidently. “ten minutes. i bet you i can go ten minutes without you fucking me.” 

“you’ve got yourself a deal, angel,” he smirks, slowly waltzing over to you. his hands meet your waist, his touch sending shockwaves through you as his palms kneed the soft flesh of your ass.

“d-deal,” you stammer, conviction beginning to waver as he leans over, placing wet kisses along your neck.

and now, it’s been nine minutes of geto cruelly teasing you, bringing you to the brink of your release before pulling back.

he rubs his cock over your slick folds, the pressure driving you insane as you rut your hips up off the bed, craving anything more he’s willing to give you.

but, of course, he was not going to lose so easily.

“you poor needy thing,” he coos, watching you writhe in agony below him. “i told you, all you have to do is say ‘please’ and i’ll fuck you.”

it was becoming too much, the constant taunting and temptation overwhelming you. your body felt like it was on fire, everywhere he touches igniting new flames.

before you can stop yourself, your lips move on their own.

“please,” you blurt out weakly.

“what was that, princess? couldn’t quite hear you,” he teases, holding a hand up to his ear.

“please, pleasepleasepleaseplease,” you babble desperately, “please fuck me, please suguru, please.”

with your eyes tightly shut you can’t see the way he grins, more than happy to give into your demands.

without a moment of hesitation he thrusts into you easily, a moan escaping your lips as you finally get what you had been craving. your warm walls envelop him as your eyes nearly roll back, your pussy beginning to clench around him.

“h-hah,” he whispers, “don’t tell me you’re gonna cum already, i knew you were desperate but fuck.”

his words sound fuzzy, far away; right now, all you can feel is him, the fullness, the stretch, the sweet burning pleasure of his cock inside you. after what felt like an eternity of being denied it, you get suddenly pushed over the edge of your orgasm.

“p-please,” you moan, the words aimlessly tumbling out of your mouth, “please, please.”

your vision goes white as your entire body shakes, racked with wave after wave of ecstasy. broken pleas continue to fill the room, and you’re not even sure what you’re begging for anymore, you just know that you need more.

as you come down from your high, you finally open your eyes to meet suguru’s, a glimmer of desire in his dark irises.

you feel his thumb stroke the tears off your face that you hadn’t realized were falling before he wipes the drool that had pooled at the corner of your open mouth away. he kisses you messily, his tongue easily sliding between your parted lips, his cock still buried inside you.

“you really are needy,” he breathes in awe through a smirk, “but since you asked so nicely, i’ll keep fucking you like the desperate slut you are, how’s that sound?”

blinking up at him through glazed-over eyes, you nod. “please?”

[hectorthedoggo]

i made a litte haruka t3 vd based off of an earlier convo w @kani-miso and @chairhahaha that one time (if you guys remember that)

Broken Wings

*The interrogation starts, and Haruka is breathing heavily, shifting around in his seat. It can be interpreted as a panic attack, or some sort of crying.

*The door opens, and the warden doesn’t speak for a bit.

E: Prisoner Number 1. We cannot begin the interrogation when you’re in such a state.

*Haruka’s voice sounds broken, like he’s cried a lot over the past few minutes.

H: Warden… hey, why did you vote Mu guilty? Even though I promised that…

E: You cannot influence our verdict in such a way. We found it fit to deem her guilty, therefore your opinion is invalid.

H: Huh? I don’t… but, i have to, I have to follow through on my promise. I couldn’t do it earlier, because of the guilty restraints.

E: No.

H: Huh? What do you mean?

E: Milgram won’t permit it, I’m sure. Fights between prisoners are prohibited as long as the warden is awake, so you’ve lost your window of opportunity.

H: I don’t… understand.

E: You aren’t allowed to kill yourself, idiot.

H: Hehe… hihihi! Well, you can’t push me around! I have…

*a rustling sound is heard, and the warden gasps

E: Scissors? Where…

H: The supply closet! I can kill myself, you can’t stop me!

E: No! You’re not allowed!

H: I’ll do it now! You’re too weak to stop me.

*Sounds of a struggle, and E keeps making pained noises. Eventually, a clattering noise is heard, and the sound of the barrier rings out.

*They sound physically in pain, speech occasionally interrupted by small gasps of pain.

E: Ow… hah. Haruka. You can’t take the scissors. We have them now. You’re not getting them back. Hm… I wonder if I could ask Milgram to take the supply closet… it’s such a bother.

*H sounds pained.

H: Warden! You have to understand! I made a promise, I have to follow through! Besides…

E: …

H: Besides, the voices tell me that I don’t deserve to live. That I’m too crazy for society, because I killed all of those animals. I was right, earlier. There’s no way that my true self will ever be forgiven.

I'm so tired of this constant talking, they’re right. And… Mahiru didn't deserve to die.. it should've been me.. i should join her, to fulfill my promise.

E: ! Ma…hiru…

* their voice sounds a little surprised, almost like they’ve been struck.

H: It’s hard, without her. She was so nice. I want to join her, and me being here doesn’t help anything. Everyone would be happier if I died.

E: Don’t… don’t…

H: Are you okay? I… I understand!

*A small rustling is heard

*their breathing is heavy

E: Get off… get off of me. Don’t hug me like that, it won’t work. I’m not going to-

H: It’s not for that! Hugs mean to make everything feel better! It’s a goodbye hug. Mahiru always said-

E: Shut up!

*They hit Haruka, but that’s not enough for them. They tackle him, in what is most definitely not a hug, and starts to pathetically beat him up.

H: Ow! Why are you-

E: I hate people like you! First, it was Shidou, now you, stupidly sacrificial, having no regard for the other’s emotions! Don’t you dare insult Mah- no, we’re not… we’re not supposed to… we just hate you. We, the warden, need no justification for beating up rowdy prisoners.

*Haruka makes little noises of pain, matching E’s.

*Suddenly, the door opens.

Kz: Hey! Hey! What’s going on here. Es, get off.

*A little struggle is heard, but Kazui quickly gets them off of their victim.

E: Kazui… why… no, you’re too much of a coward to go into the room yourself. Who sent you?

Kz: I’m not saying. Es, why were you-

E: It was Kotoko, wasn’t it? Guilty verdict wasn’t enough to get her off her high horse? Heh, i wonder why they decided to vote you innocent, if you keep interfering like this.

K: !

E: You stupid prisoners. Always interfering. What we do is not your business.

Haruka: Es…

E: We aren’t Es. K: ! What?!

H: W… what? Then, who are you?

E: The warden. Of MILGRAM. We don’t need a name, Es is simply a label.

K: like… amane-chan… but worse

E: What was that? (rhetorical)

H : He said you’re like Amane, but worse.

E: Shut up, the both of you ! Milgram is much nobler than a group of cartoon characters with a bunch of philosophies attached to them! What Milgram is doing, is fully, absolutely, right. Of course it would be! Otherwise, well…

It would be…

*they lose their spark

I wouldn’t be…

*awkward silence

No, no. what milgram is doing has to be right. Otherwise, I would…

*their voice breaks at the end. they slap themself.

Stop that. No. Anyways, Kazui, please get out of the room. I apologize for my earlier outburst. I will not resort to such violence, again. Haruka. Do not touch me.

K: As long as you promise to not attack Haruka.

E: As long as Haruka doesn’t touch me again.

H: I… I won’t?

E: Alright. Kazui. Leave.

K: If I hear more struggle-

E: Leave.

K: Okay.

* He leaves.

E: Ah… what are we supposed to do with you… 

*The bell rings

ack!

H: Are you alright?

E: Shut up… shut up… you all aren’t supposed to… I thought you-

H: ?

E: Shut up!

* They start to breathe heavily.

H: Is it… the…

E: That’s none of your business! I… we don’t have the same problems as you prisoners- ack!

H: … um… Warden?

E: Shut up!

H: Okay…

E: I- I- get it! Okay!

H: Um, sorry. Who are you talking to?

E: That’s… none of your business. Let’s just get this overwith, I- we can’t be doing this right now.

Now, prisoner number one, sing your sins!

[seraphimsora]

Chapter 1 The Queen of mages

A work made by a fan for a fan. I do not own the rights to Fate or any characters from the game, visual novel, manga or light novel.

Thick smoke filled the air, tightening around my throat until an unbearable burning sensation reached my nose. The heat of the fire, voracious and destructive, seemed to creep closer with each passing second. My senses were dull, my eyes capturing only indistinct shadows moving hastily around me. A muffled yet energetic voice resonated above the chaos, accompanied by scattered murmurs. But the sound wasn’t enough to keep me conscious for much longer.

I wondered if this was hell.

Was this my eternal punishment? To be trapped in an endless sleep, unable to react? My body wavered between a cold numbness and constant pain, but I couldn’t complain—my lips felt as exhausted as the rest of me, sealed in involuntary silence.

Time became irrelevant, an abstraction. I had no idea how long I remained like that, but eventually, I felt my body rest upon something soft. A bed? A timid, yet real relief.

“Trice? If you can hear me, please wake up... We don’t know what to do...” Mash’s voice, heavy with worry and sadness, reached my ears. There was a hint of desperation in it, enough to make me want to react, but my body still felt as heavy as my consciousness. “It’s been two weeks since we arrived in this singularity. The doctor is on the verge of collapse with you in this state, and the others... they’re lost without a Master to lead them...”

Singularity? How is that possible? I tried to organize my thoughts, but confusion overpowered any logical reasoning. Maybe a failure in Chaldea’s systems? It made sense, considering the chaos that had nearly brought our world to ruin. Still, something about that word—“others”—caught my attention. Ah, so the summoning worked? That would explain the excruciating pain coursing through my body.

“I told him not to worry...” Mash continued, her voice now a whisper. “The Saber... he’s been incredible at keeping things under control and asked me to focus only on taking care of you. He and the others are trying to figure out what’s happening...”

Mash, always carrying more than she should. My heart clenched. I needed to help her. I couldn’t let her bear that burden alone. Gathering every ounce of strength left in me, I forced my eyes open, battling the weight that kept them shut. The soft glow of a candle beside the bed was too bright, burning my already sensitive vision.

“Hmmm...” I groaned, trying to speak, but my voice came out hoarse, almost unrecognizable. “Mashu... talking to someone in a coma... isn’t... healthy. Sabiá?” The attempt at humor was weaker than I wanted, but it was enough to break the silence.

Mash froze. I didn’t need to see her to know her eyes were wide, disbelief written all over her face. She was probably wondering if she was hallucinating. The urge to laugh almost escaped me, but breathing was already painful enough. So, I stayed quiet, waiting patiently for her reaction. It was good to be back, even if only little by little.

Mash leaned in closer, gently touching my arm. “You’re finally awake. Thank the stars... How are you feeling?”

With her help, I sat up in bed, though I still couldn’t fully open my eyes. “Like I got run over by a truck... or maybe five trucks. Summoning five Servants at once is... a new experience. I can cross that off my list now.”

Mash gave a small, relieved smile at hearing my usual sarcasm. “You gave us quite a scare. Two days unconscious isn’t exactly normal, even for you.”

“Hah, I refuse to die from something as stupid as an overly successful summoning... It’d be like Da Vinci dying of a heart attack right after creating her greatest invention.” I sighed, leaning against the wall behind me. Again, I tried to open my eyes, but this time the discomfort wasn’t as intense as before.

Mash was still blurry before me, but her outfit looked different from before—I could even see more exposed skin than usual. “Please don’t tell me Da Vinci made you wear something weird again.”

She quickly waved her hands in front of her, her face turning slightly red. “N-no, this is... armor, and Da Vinci didn’t make it.”

I scoffed, crossing my arms with some difficulty. “For armor, it sure doesn’t cover much. Go grab a blanket, young lady. I’m not letting you walk around like that.”

“B-but—”

“I’m serious, Mash. The less they know about where to strike you, the better.”

“I have a shield big enough to cover where the armor doesn’t, you don’t have to worry about that.” She tried to reassure me with that gentle, sweet expression—the same one people could easily take advantage of.

“Hm. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt for now.”

The creaking of wood caught my attention, and once again, the mention of “others” resurfaced in my mind. The Heroic Spirits I summoned. I couldn’t lie to myself—I was excited. I’d always been a bookworm, burying myself in tales and histories of the past... Characters like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, Alexander the Great, Nero Claudius, Arthur Pendragon... Just imagining meeting them in person sent shivers down my spine. But I wouldn’t be foolish enough to make that obvious, so I masked my enthusiasm with a disinterested expression.

“So, where’s our team of misfits?” I tried—and failed—to swing my legs over the side of the bed, barely managing to get one foot out before the pain reminded me of my limits. “Tsk... damn it.”

Mash stepped closer to support me. “Well... they’re... quite something, to say the least. Three Sabers, an Archer, and a Lancer.”

“A balanced team...” I mused. “Of course... I didn’t expect them to actually be a ‘team’...”

Five Servants at once...

That really explained a lot. I must have exhausted myself during the summoning. Maybe it was pure luck that I hadn’t died, or perhaps the results of my training with my mentor. He once warned me this could happen if I overused my mana. It wasn’t that I lacked energy, but my body wasn’t accustomed to such an intense magical circuit flow, making me a ticking time bomb...

“I need to be more careful moving forward.” I muttered aloud, which immediately made Mash guess what I was thinking.

“Trice, I’m sorry for what I’m about to do.” Her calm tone didn’t prepare me for the hard slap to the back of my head, making me jolt into her free arm.

“Mashu!” I protested, my whole body tingling from the sudden movement.

“You may be older than me, but I can’t just let you be so reckless with your body! If you had died, we would’ve had even bigger problems!” Seeing my little sister angry was almost cute enough to distract me from the discomfort.

“It’s not like I had much choice in what happened!” I grumbled, leaning against her shoulder again. “Geez, Mash, you have quite the heavy hand for a lady. What did my father feed you all these years? Steroids?”

The second slap was stronger, enough for me to feel it. “Ow!” This time, I couldn’t hold back my irritation, though her face clearly showed regret. “Mashu!”

“D-don’t blame me! That joke was in bad taste, it was just a reflex!”

“What kind of reflex is that?!” I rubbed my head a few more times before something struck me. “Mash, the Crypters... shouldn’t they be here?”

Mash’s expression darkened...

Ah... the accident. Now I remember clearly. Everyone was... No, now’s not the time to think about that.

“Hey, it wasn’t your fault.” I smiled as best as I could, brushing her bangs aside. “There’s no way you could’ve predicted that would happen.”

—I know, it's just that... because of me, you got really weak. It wasn't just the fatigue, Trice, you really were between life and death, the doctor said that if any of us used too much mana we could- — I didn't let her finish, gently squeezing her shoulder.

—Nothing happened, Mash, you held back and I'm very much alive in front of you now. Come on, you'd need more than just releasing a few powers to kill me, I'm too amazing to die in a bed. — I joked, rolling my eyes, finally managing to get a sincere laugh from my sister.

I smiled in relief.

Our healthy moment of reunion was interrupted by the crack of boards coming from the hallway right behind the door, I blinked to see a figure covered in metal approaching, or was it a robot? Either way, his steps had the characteristic clang of heavy armor.

—Hey Shildy. — His voice was muffled by the strange helmet on his head.

Slowly the knight turned the corner and finally became fully visible to my eyes. I couldn't see much, I just thought it was funny that he was short but dressed like a mecha, to tell the truth, I had to hold back my laughter.

He stared at me. It was a strange few seconds, it seemed like I saw the glow of green eyes beneath that piece of metal on his face. However, nothing surpassed the silence that followed us. Mash seemed confused by the sudden reaction of knowledge, later I would find out that it was by her chaotic behavior.

—Ah, sleeping beauty, have you finally decided to get out of bed and be a real master? Or should we continue without you? —- His words were rude, he seemed irritated by something, but he had an instinct that was beyond me.

—It's a pleasure to meet you, too. — I forced a smile on my face. — I apologize for the delay.

He looked at me again only to cross his arms and sigh. —Whatever. Mordred, saber class… Hey Shild, meeting now, bring the dead weight too.

“Dead weight?” “I’ll show you the dead weight in a bit, fake mecha.”

Mash seemed to hesitate, her gaze flickering between Mordred and me. The atmosphere became strangely dense. In the tales of the knight of treachery, I remember reading about his arrogance and lack of respect for common sense in the battle of Camalan, but there was something in her posture that seemed beyond typical irritation. Even without being able to see her face completely, it was easy to see that she was assessing me, like a predator studying its prey.

“Are you going to be able to walk, Trice?” Mash asked, gently adjusting my support on her shoulder.

“I’ve been through worse.” I tried to joke, but the heaviness in my voice didn’t escape her. Even so, I moved, slowly and carefully, until I was able to stand.

Mordred watched us without moving, but her gaze seemed to pierce my skin. When I finally stood up straight, I felt a twinge in my head, but I kept my posture firm.

-You don't look like much for someone who summoned five of us at once.- Mordred muttered, still crossing his arms.

-I am a big deal, the fact that I miraculously passed out for days and you guys can still walk around without limitations speaks for itself.- I replied, trying to keep my tone calm.

Mordred didn't answer directly. Instead, he turned sharply, walking in the opposite direction.

- I hope you don't pass out again on the way. Shildy, hurry up.

Mash sighed and looked at me, clearly embarrassed.

- He's... just like that.

- I noticed.- I replied, letting out a weak laugh as we started walking. -But don't worry. I've dealt with difficult personalities before, the clock tower wizards are sometimes as arrogant as a spoiled knight.

I noticed his green eyes again, behind the armor, threateningly staring at me over his shoulder. I wondered if that burning sensation in the pit of my stomach was genuine hatred or simply momentary satisfaction at having angered him. Maybe I'll never find out...

The corridor seemed longer than I remembered, the sound of our footsteps echoing lightly on the boards beneath our feet. Everything around us still had that air of destruction and chaos, as if the singularity was a reflection of what had happened in Chaldea. The flashes of the explosion still filled my mind, even after so long.

The cabin we were in was simple and even a little destroyed. Its structures protected us from rain and light storms, but it clearly wouldn't withstand anything more serious. I could tell from the windows that we were in a small village. It was dark outside, so I couldn't tell if it was a pasture, mountains, or anything else.

"Mashu, I need a summary of what happened in the days I was away." Who are the other heroic spirits I summoned, their classes…and what do we need to do here? We may need to contact the director. I knew about the existence of singularities, about howpositions that could alter space and time, but until then they were such disposable hypotheses that one could not even identify them as real threats.

“I will take the lead in updating you, master.” The voice, serious and amicable, came from the new environment we entered. “There is no need to contact Chaldea again today.”

A small kitchen that comfortably accommodated the five or seven people. I hadn’t realized we had already arrived since the brute was standing with his horns in front of me. And now I could finally see what I could deduce from the other heroes I had summoned.

The owner of the voice from before was the first to stand out. Sitting at the table, her posture was impeccable, like that of someone accustomed to the throne and leadership. Her golden hair was tied in a low bun, and her shining armor seemed practically intact, as if no combat could mark her. Her green eyes shone with determination and an almost imperceptible tiredness.

—But first, it's only fair that we introduce ourselves. I'm Arthur Pendragon, King of Knights, Saber Class... This one on my right is Sir Bediviere. — He pointed to the man with a bronze arm who was standing next to the stove, his hands holding a kettle as if he was preparing something hot. His face, even though it was the calmest in that room, still seemed slightly nervous about something. The silver of his hair further highlighted his mature composure and the gentle look he gave me.

—It's very good to see that you're recovered, Master, Mash told us a lot about you. — He left the kettle on the table, bowing subtly to me. I found him adorable and full of charisma, certainly the aura of a gentle knight. However, what caught my attention was the delicate sound of a lyre's strings being played.

Following my gaze, the king now pointed to the man with long, red hair, who kept his eyes closed as he played the strings of his bow and arrows. — This is Sir Tristan and next to him is Sir Gareth. — He directed my gaze to the small girl with equally blond hair with two black streaks next to the man, she had an excited smile to see me, perhaps Mash had exaggerated about something in the stories she told, because I honestly didn't think I deserved all that sympathy right from the start.

— And of course, you must have already met Sir Mordred. — Clearly the name of the knight of treason would come out with a certain acid, not for nothing, Mordred betrayed the king's trust, took his castle, raised an army against him, and even killed his own father... everything he did was against the code of chivalry.

— Yes, I met him, a well of sympathy, I must admit. — I whispered the last part sarcastically, earning a slight smile from Sir Tristan and a dissatisfied grunt from Mordred. I cleared my throat, slowly letting go of Mash to walk to the table. In an attempt to consolidate my resilience, I stood up. “You don’t need to call me master, just Biatrice is enough.” I pulled out a chair, but hesitated before sitting down. I wanted to convey that, despite my condition, I was ready to take on my role.

Observing each of them, I felt the weight of responsibility that came with commanding these legendary heroes.

“Before we start talking about strategies, I want to thank all of you.” My voice was still hoarse, but it carried firmness. “Summoning five Servants at once was a risk, but it seems I achieved the best possible result. I am honored to have each of you by my side, as companions. But I would like to skip the formalities, please, Your Majesty, update me.”

“We are two weeks into a fierce war between Athens and Sparta. — His words made me have to fight the urge to smile, my childish heart, a fan of stories, could barely stand the fact that I was facing part of the round table and the king of knights himself. Now the Peloponnesian War seemed too much for me, Arthur continued. — We were focused and remained unseen, but seeking as much information as we could. We don't know exactly how, but apparently the ruler Pericles is in possession of a divine relic, which we think is the grail. The problem is that this gave him the ability to summon servants. Sir Bediviere had the misfortune of encountering one of them yesterday, but he managed to throw him off. As much as I prefer a direct confrontation, we didn't want to jeopardize your health.

— I ended up delaying them all these days. — I sighed thoughtfully, looking at Bediviere. — Can you tell me what class the servant was, Bedivere?

— Archer, I don't know how far away he was, but it was far enough that he could barely detect the attack in time. — He said in a calm and melodious voice. — I found him on the southern coast, I had heard about some prisoners being taken to Athens to be judged, I tried to get closer in the hope of finding something.

— Okay, I conclude that you do not have much more information. — When the king of knights denied it, I sighed. The possibilities were wide, clearly what was affecting that singularity was the existence of the Grail. — We are in unknown territory, fighting against servants whose identities or abilities we have no idea, I believe the most direct route is to ally ourselves with Sparta, but a trip may be too exhausting for my current state, I fear I will have to delay you a little longer.

— It is already a big step, you having woken up, Mas-Lady Biatrice. — Artoria rested her elbows on the table, interlacing her fingers in front of her chin. — We have an established base here in this village, because from what Sir Tristan and Gareth were able to discover, this is a zone far from conflict.

“And yet a servant was able to cross paths with Sir Bediviere,” I mused. “Are you sure we’re not near a danger zone?”

 A servant must have his master…

“I can’t say for sure.” — This time it was my sister who answered in an equally reflective tone. — At least I didn’t feel anything like that.

“Hm…so these are just hypotheses…right…” I closed my eyes for a few moments, we were in a war, even though from a distance I could feel the metallic smell of blood and the aroma of destined death. Reality hit me suddenly, I had never been in a war, but I still couldn’t be afraid.

Looking at my hands, I saw that they were slightly pale and thin, but they weren’t shaking.

In reality, I felt anxious.

My throat was suddenly dry.

What the hell is happening to my body?

“Master?” — Mordred placed a finger in front of me, bringing me back to the reality we were in, this time his voice didn’t sound so arrogant, on the contrary, there was hidden concern.

“Sorry, I was absorbed in my thoughts…I think I’m still a little slow. — I'm trying to shake off the shame of having been left out in front of them.

—My king, perhaps it would be best to let the mistress rest for a few more days before we do anything. — Sir Gareth suggested timidly but firmly at the same time.

—Yes. — The king stood up, looking at me. — I would like Mash to stay so I can have a word with her. Do you mind if Gareth escorts you back to your room, Biatrice?

I smiled gently, watching the young squire jump to my side, already extending an arm to support me. Perhaps they had noticed how weak I was. Leaning on her shoulder, I looked at Mash, who didn't seem to be very sure about that decision. However, to encourage her, as we passed by her, I made a point of reaching out my hand to her head and ruffling her hair before continuing to walk.

Gareth and I chuckled lightly at the murmur of complaint Mash gave us.

—So, Sir Gareth, isn't it? — I wanted to start a conversation, and apparently that young woman seemed as interested as I was.

— Only Gareth is fine, Lady Biatrice. — She replied, helping me lift my foot to climb the small step in the hallway.

— Well, if I don't need to call you “Sir” you don't need to call me “Lady” just Biatrice is fine. — I held her hand a little tighter as I felt a slight tug of pain in my chest. — Ah... it seems... it seems like I'm talking too much...

— Has this happened before? That reaction in this case. — Her genuine curiosity was almost cute.

— Once, a long time ago. — I closed my eyes remembering that painful memory. — But I don't remember what the reason was... after that incident I left Chaldea to go study at the clock tower for a few years.

—Mash disse que vocês cresceram juntas. — Estou começando a achar que Mash contou toda minha vida para eles. 

—More or less. I never lost contact with her, but most of our time together was long distance. — That's why I was forced to figure out when she was upset, happy, bothered or irritated by something simply by breathing, looking or speaking... it's a useful skill, but it brought me agony for a long time, especially when that damn Berryl from Team A was around and I couldn't do anything. — Surely if the explosion hadn't killed him I would have done it myself.

—Hm? — Gareth blinked at me in surprise.

—Huh? — Did I say that out loud? I tried to hide it with a disconcerted laugh. — Haha! Relax, I'm thinking about a bad person from the past.

—...Ah... well I guess if he's someone bad, it's not much of a problem, right? — Was she really asking me that? I nodded slightly.

—Well, it's not like I've ever killed anyone before, don't worry. I just give space to some intrusive thoughts sometimes, I swear I'm not crazy. — No crazy person who goes around killing others. I forgot to add the rest of the sentence, but it's okay, Gareth seemed to have accepted it.

—You really are quite energetic. — She smiled, opening the bedroom door, gently helping me sit on the bed next to the door. — It must be hard to have your body limited like that.

—It's kind of annoying not being able to stand up on your own, but I'm getting better. — I assured her, looking at my hands again, the pain was getting more distant, maybe my body waited a little longer to wake up just so I wouldn't have to stay vegetating in bed for too long. — Ah... what would I give for a bath, I feel like I'm dirty.

The young squire healed slightly. — W-well I couldn't but Mash was the one who was giving you a bath these days, I can ask her!

—Rest in peace, Gareth, I'll talk to her later. — I laughed at the way she seemed disconcerted by the possibility of me asking her. — If you want to join the others or go rest, feel free.

—... Are you sure you don't want company?

I slowly declined the offer. — I need to get my head together, I'll be fine, you don't need to worry about me.

—Okay, if you need anything, just call. — The young blonde started to leave.

—Gareth! — Her head quickly went back into the room, her big green eyes staring at me curiously as I gathered my strength and smiled. — Thank you.

She paused for a few seconds before smiling back. — No need to thank me!

And so I was left alone in that room.

I lay down looking at the window next to me, a starry sky.

I don't know how long I stayed there.

Minutes? Hours?

Everything came to my head at once. Weeks passed by like a shot.

Marisbury's death, the return to Chaldea, the introduction to the A-team, and then the explosion.

Five servants.

Arthur Pendragon, the King of Knights

Sir Bediviere

Sir Tristan

Sir Gareth

And the Knight of Treachery, Sir Mordred.

Quite a team, I must say.

My eyes were heavy, but I couldn't close them.

It's common for your body to refuse to relax again after a long period of sleep, my limbs were already less sore and I could stand without having to lean on anything. At that moment in the early morning, I had taken advantage of the silence to go outside, we were in a small forgotten village, with a few people who didn't care enough to gossip about outsiders in an abandoned house. Maybe they were tired of the war, maybe they were afraid to say anything... earlier when I sat on the stone next to the door of the house, I saw a mother passing by with her two daughters, just the fact that she met my gaze was enough for her to hurriedly move away from me.

Wars were truly terrible.

The landscape was at least beautiful, we were in a valley surrounded by some significant and verdant reliefs, just by looking at the grass at my feet, vibrant green I could notice the fertility of the soil. But the beauty stood out not on earth but in the starry night skies. Constellations and more constellations forcing themselves upon the naked eye. Looking over my shoulder I came across the sleeping form of Mash sitting on a chair by the front door.

I remember how we spent hours and hours talking about the sky outside Chaldea, how when I was in the clock tower I would always climb to its peak to show her the night sky of England, often being frustrated by the pollution that blocked the stars. But Mash always seemed happy, even when it rained, her smile was always what kept me doing that crazy thing for years… I remember when Olga caught me and I was grounded for over a month and then our little adventure ended with a bitter taste. It had been two weeks, my little sister must have been sick of that sky by now…

Deep down I felt bad for not having shared the moment with her, but it's not like she didn't enjoy it.

Artoria approached with firm steps, her presence filling the room in an almost palpable way. When our eyes met, I noticed her calm and analytical expression. It was difficult to decipher what was going on in her mind—perhaps a trait acquired throughout her reign. She examined Mash first, then turned her eyes to me, neutrality marking every movement.

“Your Majesty.” I greeted her first, offering a gentle smile. Then I returned my gaze to Mash. “Please forgive her. She is tired, but you can trust that I am here on alert.”

Arthur responded with a slight smile, almost hesitant, before approaching with the elegance that only a true knight possesses. When he extended his hand toward the empty space next to me, I was not surprised.

“May I?” he asked politely.

I nodded, and she sat down.

“No need to be so formal.” Her voice was low, almost relaxed. — Even though I still bear the title of King of Knights, there is no kingdom. And in this case, you are my Master.

“It feels strange to call you Saber or informally.” I laughed awkwardly, closing my eyes for a brief moment. “My mother... she was never a woman bound by traditions, but she always spoke of you with deep respect. I grew up listening to her stories. About your reign, your bravery... and the beauty in every detail—from your rise to your fall.”

Artoria looked away for a moment, fixing her gaze on the stars.

“I am flattered, Biatrice.” A soft smile danced on her lips. “But honestly, I think it would be better to call me Saber.”

Silence enveloped us, a rare moment of peace amidst the chaos. I watched her sideways, curiosity growing.

“You seem comfortable with me... Why? We don’t know each other.”

Artoria pondered before answering. Her green eyes searched mine, as if trying to decipher something beyond what was visible.

“Mash spoke of you sincerely, describing your essence. I saw no reason for hostility.” She paused, her words carefully measured. “I want to make something clear. I have taken the lead in recent weeks because I know the warriors who fight alongside us. But now that you are awake, I have no intention of usurping your place. We will follow what you deem best.”

“No.” My voice came out with an almost carefree lightness, but there was conviction there. “Actually, I think it’s fine this way. You have fought alongside them for years, you know them on a level that I cannot yet reach. Everything I know about you and the others comes from legends. So it is wise for us to balance this leadership. I want to acclimate myself to the group, understand its dynamics before making more important decisions. I will be happy to discuss strategies and be questioned.”

The king seemed to consider my words. His eyes wandered again over the dark houses around us, as if absorbing the weight of the lives that rested under the shadow of the impending war.

“I didn’t expect you to digest everything that you went, so well,” she began, her voice a little softer. “It seems like you’re used to the battlefield.” I let a playful smile form on my lips. “I’ve never been in a real battle before… but I’ve been well-informed my whole life about how to act in one. It’s that theory and practice thing.” I looked at my toes for a few moments. “But it seems like a good plan…” “I agree.” Artoria stood up. “I’ll contact Chaldea tomorrow to find out more about my condition. At the latest, we’ll start moving in a few days.” It was most likely an inference based on the way I was recovering. “I know you’re in bad shape, but the faster you recover, the faster we can fix the conditions that keep us here.” It was strange to have a conversation with the King of Knights in person, everything seemed so unreal until now. I was really in front of the King of Knights. His features were calm with hints of measured seriousness, but from the shape of his face, the shape of his eyes and even his height, I could have sworn that he was actually a woman who was no more than fifteen years old.

Wait.

“Saber?”

“Yes?” He asked, not knowing what was coming next.

“Are you a woman?” She looked at me as if she expected the worst from me, and I almost felt bad for asking. I hadn’t noticed, maybe it was just tiredness.

“Is there a problem with that?” Even though his voice was still polite, I could feel his guard set up like a trap there.

“Relax… it’s not a problem at all.” I raised my hands in the air. “I wouldn’t be surprised if some tales and legends are wrong in some details. In fact, I feel better with you being a woman…”

Maybe she had guessed my reasons, because her expression relaxed but still had a stern air. — Biatrice, I know you might feel more comfortable with me because I'm a woman, but I want you to know that I was raised to be the king and pretend to be a man. I don't have much knowledge of the female world beyond what I see.

— It's never too late for that to change. — I suggested, trying to avoid that scolding.

Danger alert. Change the subject. Change the subject immediately!

— There's something else I'd like to ask. — I coughed, clearing my throat, getting Saber's attention once again. — Mordred and you... is it okay to work together?

— If the question is whether it will hinder our performance, no. — Another cold answer. She clearly didn't want to get emotionally involved with that problem, and pushed it away with the simplicity of her goal... in that case, it was to recover the grail... but remembering how Mordred spoke of her earlier, she sounded a lot like a rebellious child. How complicated.

It's a bad habit to get too involved in this kind of thing, maybe I should just mind my own business.

But something bothered me.

"You two have unfinished business." I tried not to sound dry, but it was hard, since I knew a lot about family problems. You have them when your parents tend to throw you into other people's laps like a shuttlecock. "Maybe you don't mind it, but it clearly affects Mordred's performance. Besides, taking him to Sparta could lead to problems that you don't need to go through.

—How do you—

—How do I know that? —- I smiled, crossing my legs. — I'm good at using people, Saber. But to do that I need to have a good knowledge of them, analyzing the environment they're in, the way they talk, the way they refer to the things they love and don't love. Your bastard son is a big ball of tangled wool, a thread pulled wrong and then the thread gets tangled around your neck.

The king stares at me in surprise for a few moments, he seems to be conflicted about what to say next. —I...you remind me of a person from the past, who preferred not to care about his image.

—A bad person, I imagine. — I puff out my cheeks, after all it's natural for someone to subjugate someone who has the habit of taking advantage of the weaknesses and strengths of others.

—Someone complicated. — That was the only answer Saber gave me on the subject.

I knew at that moment that I needed to warn him. — Artoria, you were honest with me. I will return the favor. I want to make something clear from now on. I am not and do not want to be a hero. Honor, chivalry, justice... these are concepts that I abandoned some time ago... I do what needs to be done, when I want it done, for my ideals.

My words seemed to sink into his chest, but the answer did not take as long as I thought. — And what are your ideas?

When I opened my mouth to answer, I was faced with a rare silence. For the first time in my life, I was hearing those words directed at me. And it was like a bucket of cold water... What were my ideals? It was so natural for me to simply do what I wanted when I wanted, that I could never really think about why I did it... What I felt was not shame for having remained silent in front of the king, but the purest frustration for never having realized that detail.

“I never had a choice.”

Those words hammered my mind again, and without realizing it I was with my arms crossed and thinking.

“I internalized that phrase and engraved it in my veins, so when I tried to rebel, doing what I wanted, I was just doing what I thought was right, not because I determined an ideal within myself.”

Shit.

I remembered the last time I saw my teacher before returning to Chaldea, his words came back like a wave in my already frozen body.

“You should be proud of the potential you have, Beatrice. But in my eyes you are still an innocent and confused child… if you continue to be blind to your weaknesses you will end up disappointing yourself with a sad end.”

“I don’t know.” I answered with bitterness in my voice, it was the first time I had to say a sentence as painful as that. — I know I fight for my home, because it's where I live, where I have my books and-

“Biatrice Lencastre, the prodigy of the clock tower has no ideals…”

Ha…hahahaha!

Without realizing it, my own misfortune seemed like a great, well-formed and planned comedy. The attitude seemed to have taken the king even more by surprise than my previous statement.

“Biatrice?” She asked carefully.

Wiping my tears, I stood up, perhaps happier than I should have been. I finally understood.

“Don't worry, I'm laughing at how pathetic I sounded now.” I sighed, closing my eyes, enjoying the breeze on my face. — Actually, Artoria…this is the first time I've felt truly human.

“What?...Biatrice…I think I'd better go back and rest a little more, you don't look well.”

I didn't question much, I had scared the poor thing for more than a day. When I walked back into the house, I opened my eyes calmly.

“At least I know where to start now.” I murmured with a smile on my face.

However, I was surprised by the armored figure of Mordred sitting right on top of the table staring at me. I stopped in the kitchen and stared back at her.

“Good evening, Sir Mordred.” I hummed in a good mood.

“Listen well, Master.” She got down from the table and approached me in a threatening manner. “If you keep talking about me to my father like that, I won’t mind feeding your head to the fish.”

“....” I analyzed her green eyes beneath the mask, there was fear in them beneath all that unnecessary anger. “I’m sure they would love the feast, but have you ever thought that by doing that you’ll disappear?”

“Do you think I care? It’s not like everyone hasn’t died once.” She replied, crossing her arms, still with that threatening tone. — Besides, I'd rather disappear than serve a woman—

I just sighed.

Unfortunately, I turned my mind off as the knight continued to threaten and curse me. That just didn't seem interesting enough at the moment. Instead, I went back to the previous topic, about things I liked or didn't like, about what I was willing to do and why I would do them. Sure, I feel pity and pain for the suffering of others, but since it's a singularity, it's almost as if this pain is nothing... Do I have some level of psychopathy? Hm... no... I don't get pleasure in doing this…

Mordred kept talking and talking in front of me.

Why wasn't I irritated? It was a mystery. Hm

"You have beautiful eyes, you know? You should take off that helmet so they can be seen better." Without even realizing the words, they just slipped out.

Mordred stopped talking.

An awkward silence enveloped the knight and slowly a satisfied smile began to tug at my lips.

"Oh, so that's how you turn it off?" I almost laughed when I heard a frustrated grunt from beneath his mask.

—You're kidding me. — He growled and I almost found it cute.

Sir Mordred was impressively shorter than me, maybe ten centimeters shorter, it was enough to give me the confidence to lower myself a little more with a raised eyebrow.

“Can you blame me?” I grabbed his hand just in time for him to pull out his sword, a calmer and more serious expression softening the moment. — Stop. Let's lower our weapons, okay? You were offending a lady just now, I just punished you for it. I apologize if talking about how beautiful your eyes are offended you.

The knight seemed delightfully unresponsive, just shoving me with his shoulder before walking past me to go outside.

“Ah... a bratty child I see…” I sighed, sitting down at the table, at that point, I had already noticed the red-haired man sitting at the window to my far left. — I hope you haven't come to threaten me too, Sir Tristan.

I saw the shadow of a smile tug at his lips. — I apologize for the attitude of our pet angry turtle, Lady Biatrice… it's a shame that Sir Mordred doesn't know how to have good manners. He used to have a more thoughtful and less brutish attitude before.

— Before what? — I asked, swinging my legs on the edge of the table.

— Before Camelot started to fall I would say, I don't know what changed exactly or when. — That information seemed valuable on a certain level.

Footsteps drew attention to the other room inside the house, Sir Bediviere came out letting out a light yawn, they were taking turns to sleep and recover mana.

— Ahhh… Sir Mordred rebelled when our king didn't give him the right to assume the throne. — Still slightly tired, the knight approached the kettle in the sink, pouring tea into the nearest clean cup. — He took advantage of the king's absence due to the expedition to Rome, and then started the rebellion.

— For the throne? — I questioned, tilting my head back. Bediviere drank the tea, slowly opening his eyes before nodding in agreement. — That doesn't make sense...

— Oh? Well, what human being in his right mind wouldn't want to take a throne, to have the glory of being a king? And still, a bastard son of a king, but still a son. — Tristan sighed, getting up and heading towards the bedroom, maybe it was his turn to sleep... although... he always seemed to be sleeping. — Excuse me, Master.

— All. — I gave him space by pulling my legs up, even though I didn't need to.

However, Bedivere continued. — Don't mind that, Master, we have a habit of teasing each other... whether we're together or not. But I agree with you, it doesn't make sense, however I'm afraid that's an answer that only Sir Mordred has.

— It's not like I'm going to investigate her life, but it made me curious. — Frowning, I felt the man sit down next to me at the table, still drinking his tea.

—It's interesting… — He suddenly spoke.

—What? — I blinked at him in confusion.

—Your curiosity about the subject.

I blushed slightly, that was one of my biggest flaws, one that I couldn't overcome even if I tried my best. The whys appeared in front of me for each and every situation.

—I need to know a lot so I can deal with as many things as possible. — I looked at my feet as I always do when I get anxious about something. — Besides, I feel it's not right to consider only your legends and exclude what happened beneath them... glory and honor tend to turn good eyes away from the dust and blood that carve heroes like you. Arthur pulled the sword from the stone, but how many times did that sword feel the weight of your tired body? How many lives were not taken with it? Sir Bedivere returned with Excalibur three times to the king, but how was his heart as he watched the hope of Camelot dying with its king? For me, the simple final moral of a fairy tale is not enough... but those who polished it. Each story... each act... triggers your understanding.

Each story has its stories within it... and one is as important as the other...

I would like to hear each of these stories before I die.

The sound of the cup being placed on the table caught my attention. When I realized it, the man next to me was looking at me with a smile.

—Hm?

—Mash was really right about you. — Again with that?! Mash, what did you say? — Go rest Master, tomorrow we will have a long day.

[suffarustuffaru]

I love your otto brainrot. He's favorite person to gush about in this series. I also love your analysis about one of the latest chapters and regarding Otto! ust, chef's kiss.

Anyhow, I would also like to add a crack theory about why otto never talked about his dp allowing him to talk to infants too. In this moment, it very much be because, as you said, he wants Spica to be eliminated. But! We're thinking small here. My question morphs into a more general perspective; why would Otto, and tappei to an extent, keep such information about his dp under wraps for this long, way before these Spica shenanigans? And I feel like the author may want to expand on that regard. Because as far as the rest of the crew knows (and as far as I remember), they know he can only talk to animals. But that chapter states he can talk to any living being (?), which I think may hint to it being a bigger fucking deal than we may realize. Like outside the Louis development, as well as Otto's frustration development, this power in of itself can cause a ripple of what Otto's capabilities are, and to not underestimate it.

So, now I wonder, would tappei utilize this tidbit for more development about Otto's power? What do you think?

aa thank you for liking my otto stuff!! i adore him a lot and arc 8 has me even more fixated on him bc his development is so Fascinating.... and also my fictional character type has always been the weird fucked up ones with terrible morals HAH.

OK ALSO LIKE i love your crack theory to bits. i think like the idea of his capabilities being A Little More Massive than they already are hasnt really occurred to me if only bc 1. i have like one braincell at a time and 2. ottos unhinged anger and various ugly habits (ie: doing things behind his friends backs HAH) were smth i was distracted by (positive) bc its so fascinating and now Finally everyone reading rezero knows hes crazy For Sure and 3. i think like. idk ive always kind of thought that his power is like super crazy like once you think about it. like iirc theres the canonical fact that other people in the fantasy world whove had ottos dp have gone like insane from it, so hes Basically the outlier here. and also hes insane anyway but his dp absolutely has partly to do with it. not only bc it like affects so much of his life with the constant overstimulation he experienced for a big chunk of his childhood along with the other effects it had with how he was behind his peers for a while and it made him socially awkward and anxious - but also like.

animals Are insane. a lot. genuinely. and then you have a power that allows you to understand them and hear their voices all the time. (more under read more bc its Long.)

theres so many fucked up animal facts out there HAH so i suppose that could just take like a couple google searches (god.... if oceans were in the fantasy world otto might go a little insane with all those sea creatures if he ever came close...) but i always feel like ottos learned at least a bit of his ruthlessness from that. and hes Definitely seen and heard shit (dont forget stuff like livestock ahah T^TT or bug infestations or something aljsdfls or the fact that otto would probably be seeing animal friends eat other animal friends or before he even knew he had his dp he could be eating some cattle he had a convo with like twenty minutes ago and ALSO garf and fred have their meat pie recipe that they adore and its like. that meat came from an animal and otto has most likely seen them make their meat pie before). but like nature is nature. its not always. Nice. survival of the fittest and things just die sometimes (ottos made various animal friends throughout his life and Many animals have smaller lifespans than him as well + some, such as bugs, are more fragile than him) and animals take actions according to their Nature (even if its. Bad, by human moral standards.) and all that - so i think the double whammy of ottos dp and him taking on merchant ideals is very much partly why hes so insane fr HAH.

I WENT A LITTLE OFF TOPIC BUT no yeah i agree. and i just think his dp has always been such a huge factor in what makes him so dangerous - its not only helped mold him into who he is as a person (especially when you remember that the rest of his family are Normal People and he Very Much Is Not Normal) but also like you said. his dp makes him extremely dangerous especially with the new information that he understands babies. iirc otto didnt Necessarily keep that bit of info under wraps - at least not before he met the emilia camp, bc the text said something about how hed take on side jobs where he babysat infants and hed be good at it bc he can understand the intent behind their wordless "words". and i definitely think otto - and tappei - havent really said anything on his ability to talk to infants before this bc it just hasnt come up in much relevant context until now. BUT I ALSO THINK YOU HAVE A POINT bc this does open like. a bit of a can of worms. theres these 2019 tappei qnas where he talks a bit about otto understanding "intent" -

Q: Is Otto's Blessing of the Spirit of Words limited to sounds that the speaker understands? Can he translate something Subaru wrote down in Japanese, or something that someone reads out loud phonetically without understanding it's meaning?

A: He can't. It's a blessing that conveys the intent of the other person's words, so if you said something like "Honbaradaratodetta", it wouldn't mean anything. It's just that, if Subaru had been saying "Honbaradaratodetta" for years to mean "What's for dinner?", it would convey that.

Q: About the "Blessing of the Spirit of Words" that Otto has, in cases where the same word can contain different meanings, can he discern the difference? (The English word 'servant' and a servant from Fate, etc.)

A: It's not the letters, but the speaker's intent that he picks up, so he could tell the difference.

--

but no yeah like........ ottos dp is specifically about Animals and well. humans and demihumans ARE animals. so it makes sense that it carries into humans and demihumans a bit so the whole catching someones intent thing is super fascinating and i feel like he could Definitely utilize it for more of his schemes?? esp when you combine that with the usual ways he uses his dp with animals - his power is Perfect for spying on others and gathering info in general. from my understanding of his power though, animals have to agree to help him, but given he can communicate with them and hes. well hes a good talker and also a bit of a manipulative bitch (affectionate) so like getting animals to help him doesnt seem like too much of an issue usually for him. so no but yeah his power is like. Off the Charts. and now we got big confirmation in the main story that he can UNDERSTAND PEOPLES INTENT BEHIND THEIR WORDS....? no yeah i think tappei will at least utilize it for the louis-spica plot things (ie otto wants her dead so hes just not gonna say anything about how he knows her true intent isnt to actually hurt anyone).

but i feel like otto could possibly use it for plans... or accidentally catch tidbits of info he shouldnt. im not entirely sure how, but. well. roswaal still hasnt delivered on his promise to kill everyone if even one person subaru cares about dies and Now roswaal knows that 1. otto plans to continue opposing subaru and emilia and keep pulling strings and 2. subaru wants louis to stay alive because he cares about her. it seems like massive emilia camp inner conflict is bound to happen at some point hah... the current situation is a ticking time bomb T^T and thats ON TOP of otto still working on restoring the book of wisdom... it all makes me wonder if otto will overhear a convo he shouldnt and catch the true underlying intent to otherwise innocent dialogue. or something like that.... or if louis's intent fluctuates in some way which otto will be Very aware of. if that happens. or if someone else somehow figures out ottos hiding the fact that he knows louis is innocent via his dp alsdjflsjdf. or maybe roswaal hints at his genocide plan and otto figures out the intent???? everyone is at a stalemate atm fr and im fascinated to see what comes next.

though. ok given otto went insane hearing the white whale..... well you could just fling mabeasts at him and maybe he'll shut up lajsdlfj bc using his dp (especially when overusing it gives him nosebleeds and headaches and pain and etc etc) against him is a Viable strategy to stop him among many others but like. the problem with otto is that hes persistent and Will hold a grudge against you if you wrong him. like i really do feel like he will hunt you down if you do which is the big Thing with otto. T^T hes unpredictable!!! especially now with arc 8 where hes been dragged through all these dangerous situations he did not sign up for and he just wants him and his friends to be safe but said friends want to save a whole country and NOW a sin archbishop alsdjflsjd.

like i really feel that hes so tired of things happening throughout his life out of control (remember his bad luck T^T and the way his dp used to fuck him over in his childhood? yeah T^T) that hes been trying to exert more and more control over his camp. bc like. vincent asking the emilia camp for help was nudged into that direction by otto. ottos also stepped a bit out of line by being hostile to julius and anastasia bc. otto that shit was unncessary aljsdlfjd theyre your camps allies!!!! and now ottos letting his camp be sus of louis by keeping quiet about her true intent. like otto is straight up like. hes kind of possessive of his camp isnt he? bc hes so fixated on making things go the way he wants (not that he wanted to help vollachia, but he wanted to help subaru and emilia which is why he pushed things in that direction, and now he wants to kill louis). it all makes me wonder if he'll ever have to use his dp against his camp given hes. kind of already doing that by lying to them - though itd probably be difficult to use his dp more actively against them if only bc they all already know what his dp is. theres no element of surprise there, but i think with the right circumstances he could possibly use it to figure out Something at least. bc like while he Does feel guilty, there is next to nothing stopping him from doing more shit on top of the shit hes been doing so far in arc 8 HAH. his moral compass is just literally broken and pointing straight down to hell. that mixed with his stubbornness and intellect and anger is like. well anyone going against otto is pretty fucked.

like. what is stopping him from sending a little bug to spy on subaru at all times. probably the fact that subaru and co. have a high chance of maybe noticing it and noticing that ottos keeping. too close of an eye on them. which would stop otto and his new declared "i walk in darkness" goal but all of this keeps making me wonder what lines otto WONT cross. and how far hes willing to go to do what he thinks is necessary to save his camp. and also what the consequences of his decisions will be.

but also like............................................... ok time for a crack theory of my own are you ready. anyway. can you imagine if ottos dp extended into fucking mind reading or something............ HAH.

[nottakingresponsibility]

"...Had a dream. Nightmare, really. It prevented me from going over the five hour rest limit, though. So I suppose I should be thankful.." He paused, as if he was debating actually saying anything. "It's all my fault, isn't it? Hah.. fucking dreams always putting me into the blame circle. It's almost funny, it seems like, really seems like, everything out there thinks I'm responsible for everything, even things I never asked for."

"...The other crew members were in it. All fucking.. dead, staring at me. Sitting up in these damn chairs like their bodies were just props. They treated me like I was the captain, which doesn't make sense, obviously." "Cause, first of all? How the hell are they talking. Corpses are meant to be just that, dead quiet. And ...Curly. God, Curly. He didn't even look like himself. I could hardly even control my movements, and before I knew it, the damn nightmare made- ...made me." "..How the hell do I even say that? That they forced me to cut into his damn flesh? I don't even know what they think happened to him in the first place, He was missing an eye, a lot of his skin, god... I don't even know. The details are foggy, I'm already trying to block them out." "He was covered in bandages. He ... they managed to keep him alive in such a state, and yet I still.." He sighed, putting his face in his shaking hands. Fuck, when had he started shaking? He didn't even realize it. Maybe he should try eating a bit earlier then, but.. he wasn't sure, maybe that would just make him feel more nauseous. "...Why was I the only one alive? ..No, Curly was alive. But he wasn't able to do anything, he was fucking helpless. It was upsetting to look at. He looked like he was in constant pain, and then I just cut off his damn leg anyway." "Just ...me and him, huh? When he was the sole focus the others really did look like they were just props, apart of some sick promotional fantasy of mine. I don't want to get up, my body hurts." "...But I have to, don't I? Can't get over five hours of rest anyway or my body will collapse, wouldn't that be such a shame."

[chaosjester666]

Hah seems like I can actually call the cops on my mother and Karen of a grandmother for what they did to me as a child, no matter what they say

Cause let's be honest, when your ELEMENTRY SCHOOLER child comes up to you to play because the father is in a diffrent state and only gets seen on holidays/school breaks and your reaction is a "later" and when your kid comes back 20min later and asks again and you tell them "later" again and then they come back in an hour to ask only to be told "if you ask one more time I won't play with you at all" and so you have scared the child away from asking only to never play mother or just telling the child a "no" or "I'm busy" when playing FUCKING SOLITAR grandmother and this happens so many times that the child stops asking and even to this day even when board games are bought the child will not ask for fear of being told no

As well as the child only being allowed the TV when their shows are playing which is only in the morning and then promptly being left to entertain themselves despite the fact that multiple teachers has mistaken the child for having adhd/autism and the child being quite bullied and the only friend they will have for the next 3-4 years being toxic but the child can not tell because for once some one actually wants to play with them

And then you give the child a phone so that when they are with the Father (who actually plays and makes an attempt at hanging out) and suddenly the child has access to entertainment at all times and suddenly the phone is the child's only form of entertainment and is the child's only safe space due to the constant reinforcement that they are not allowed to lock themselves away into their room to calm down or for a matter of fact be allowed to be upset with the adults so ofcourse the child gets attached and develops Nomophobia(the fear of being away from one's phone) and becomes overly attached to the internet

And due to the child being constantly ostersized and isolated at school despite informing the parents only for the parents to leave them at the school the child becomes overly attached to people who will actually hang out with the child causing the child to not notice the fact that those "friends" are toxic and manipulative which then causes the child when it goes into middle school to become a slight people pleaser towards friends which only isolates the child further until the child gives up making friends and finally sees that all prior "friends" were toxic and is finally able to see what true friendship is

Not to mention the fact that the child becomes so used to bottling up negative emotions that it worsens the child's anger issues (which only got so bad due to the fact that the parents refused to get the child therapy or actual outlits and would instead cause the child to lash out only to punish the child for having those feelings) and it eventually gets to the point that the child is nolonger able to properly express emotions

Not to mention the child's other traumas of therapists(due to the mother's therapist trying to force the child when it was still in kindergarten-3rd grade to explain why they would cause the mother emotional turmoil despite not hearing the child's side), expressing negative emotions, fear of that if they tell the truth they won't be believed or they will be punished(turning the child into a compulsive liar due to said fear)

And the parents wonder why the child is cold, sarcastic, rude, closed off, 'disrespectful'(how can one be disrespectful when they were never shown what respect truly looks like), untrusting, self isolated from family, emotionally manipulative(subconsciously), a compulsive liar, has severe anger issues, mildly depressed, paranoid, does not go to the parents for help, hides illness until it is so bad the child can not function(only to be called a liar and only wanting to get out of school or for attention), out of touch with feelings, and generally unable to reach out to family about issues. It's all because of the emotional neglect and border line emotion manipulation.

I did not mean to go on a rant about my shitty child hood but then again my parents just got mad at me for wanting to buy a game with my own money and then drawing me into a fight about how I act all while I have a migraine, my head is fuzzy, my face is going numb, I feel like I'm going to hurl, my legs are trying to give out, and I'm overheating so yeaaaaaaaaaaa

[brainz4sale]

I prefer just being teased and used tbh ૮ ´∩∩` ა

like cumming is nice but I just want to be in a constant state of ,,woof woof yes sir ah hah~,, when I’m subby you know? doing little tasks or following orders is my fav thing in the world and I could listen to my dom‘s insulting me forever <33

bdsm is much more than just touching to meeee it just makes me feel so safe and comfortable >< I‘M A WEIRDO OKAY??

So wet.

So needy.

So desperate.

And so fucking dumb if you think I'm letting you cum anytime soon.

[parasit-kind]

2. welcome to 2014

almost 3 months into..2014!!! so it seems as the oldies of gen z begin to feel their age and yearn for their short lived memories... enter the 2014 revival. reborn are the lipsync tiktoks in imitation of musically and the carefully curated instagram layouts, but... doesn’t it all seem too desperate...

it’s a feeling that i have myself, the desire for these days to return. i have had conversations with my parents regarding the nostalgia they feel, and their responses have been fairly. mundane. to say the least. perhaps a human cannot voice their thoughts with the utmost emotion, but as to what i feel in the midst of the 2014 resurgence, i feel .. a bit desolate.

getting older is something that i have not been able to accept, and i may never ever accept it.. i cling onto this era as if i meant something to it, and not only it to me, as though i was one of the faces that appeared if one were to search ‘tumblr face model’. (remember those..) i wasn’t; in fact, in 2014, i was only 10. my tumblr era only came to pass two years later, and then, already, was my anguish and longing for a reversal back from 2016 to 2014 strongly present. the bands i admired had peaked and were on what i - and many other late comers to the tumblr scene would soon find out - the last of their short-lived fame. one direction had dissolved, the blurryface tour was over, fall out boy was about to change their sound forever, halsey’s badlands was already tiring out my ears after constant repeat... the offenses go on. i had arrived too late.

when the nostalgia begins in a desperate state, the feeling of “if only i had known a bit sooner”, of “it was just barely a year ago”, the sense of something being so close but absolutely impossible to meet, then the hopeless knot will only swell. hopelessly did i keep my grip on albums that had long phased out of radio play and on youtube videos that were beginning to accumulate dust (hah.. if they were old then, then what should i call them now? figments of the past? my imaginations?). the rebirth of 2014 is something i wish i could connect to, but it only makes me more and more sorrowful. a reminder of what i missed, what i will never get back. it’s a shame, living in the past like this, unable to accept age, can’t ever stand and move forward.

well. what do i do as a person living in 2014>??? explained!

youtube - old gameplays as my white noise. if its not stampy, its pewdiepie, and if not pewdiepie, it is markiplier. in reality, i used to watch exclusively dan and phil, though i say exclusively only in the sense that i cannot for the life of me remember who else i used to enjoy (oh child brain. small and discarding). dan and phil, however, are now intangible to me. i do not watch any new uploads, of course, not of any of the aforementioned creators, nor in general, but for the dan and phil duo, i find that their content has become for me unbearable. perhaps it is something akin to too intense a feeling. i’m uncomfortable with the elapsed time i spent with them previously. it’s like trying on pants meant to fit but being in reality too small; recognizable, something reliable, but a feeling that something is wrong, unusual. i find something else..

music - i praise music for its longevity. whereas youtubers come and go, and videos are deleted and forgotten, music seems to live on and on. take, for example, the life of a 70s tv shows versus that of a 70s song.. i would imagine the song has remained more potent. visual media tends to get lost, while audio travels by ear, and consequently, by mouth. songs of the tumblr era are in no way misplaced. rather, this is a medium that many seem to agree upon as having been of particular heavy influence. the 1975, troye sivan, one direction, twenty one pilots. mayhaps they’ve come and gone out of favor, but the recordings of old songs remain. it is strange indeed, the tolerance for old songs, but something in a tune is peculiarly able to trigger emotion within a human. 

clothing - my final reliable, and regretfully, the practice that has experienced the most shift in public opinion and execution. i find comfort in the articles of the tumblr era, but it is, for many in this day, a symbol of something far more sinister, a distress surrounding the romantic obsession with the sick and lifeless. perhaps i will cover this more thoroughly later, but really, if i was happier then than i am now, could it have been so terrible... fashion was an important indicator of the ‘us’es and the others in 2014, and so it remains now, but there is a feeling of shame to return to it. no longer are we, the ‘us’es, able to be understood by those younger than us. this was naturally not an issue in 2014, when we were the young ones, unable to judge ourselves. so again... we have gone from being oh so misunderstood to being such once again. it’s a futile cycle for those that long for the return of 2014, never feeling unity with the present world, yet never having been united with that moment of the past. it is, really, like standing in the middle of a zebra crossing, but the road is completely desolate. you’ve forgotten your directions, your lefts, rights, and norths, souths. you’ve misstepped and can’t recall if you were moving forward or backward. you’re thinking at once, “where should i go?”, “why am i alone?”, “what should i do now?”

time is the only stable value in a human life, but what is one to do when time has for them become distorted...

here’s to 2014 |-/ ✉️

>parasitka პარაზიტკა

p.s. i reckon i will make a post of some tumblr era interests of mine soon, something less fatalist...

[writer-komaru]

Gn!Reader relationship HC’s with Hajime and Nagito

Anon!~

(Is it just me or is it really fun to write Nagito? Just me? Hehe okay-)

(Art not mine, just wanted to find something with Komaru and these doofs in it <\3)

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･' [ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ]'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

~{ Word Count : 783 }~

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» [I do Adore] «

0:00 ─〇──── 2:28

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All I can say is his vibe is a mixture of tsundere and virgin, all together in one complicated bundle of a guy. I might (and probably am) wrong with my assumption, but ever since he hit puberty, he never got out of it. The conglomeration of all of his “teenage hormones and emotions” are a constant threatening maelstrom in his mind. Either it be breaking out in a wide, fiery blush at just the smallest graze of a girl's hand on his arm while walking down the halls of his school or his spontaneous fits of anger when something frustrates him, even if it’s just as small as a slightly poor grade on a test. But thankfully it doesn’t happen all the time, to his immense relief. But, all of that crashed out of the window ever since he met you.

He isn’t a nervous kind of guy, but when he is around you, he can feel his heart beating ten thousand times a second.

Whenever you even just sit next to him while you both are eating lunch, there is something in the back of his mind telling him to freak out. But, he manages to suppress it. Barely.

He would blush a LOT! Like, I mean a lot! His face would be red beyond belief, burning up like he has a fever, sweat dripping down his forehead.

And if you either ask him why he is so flustered or check him for a fever by putting the back of your hand against his head, he will combust.

“I-I! U-Um it’s n-Nothing! Hah- uh- I- It’s the sun! I-It’s too hot out here… t-that’s all.”

And if you ever tease him for being so flustered, expect this himbo to melt into a red puddle of shame.

“Ah! D-Don’t look at me! L-Leave me alone!”

Just give him a few seconds to calm down by telling him it’s okay and letting him breathe and he’ll be fine. A little bit shaky, but fine.

But, you better savor this phase of your relationship with him for as long as you can, because after a few weeks or a month, he will become accustomed to his overwhelming feelings and start to mellow out.

Yes, he will still be very blushy, even to little things, but he wouldn’t have full on episodes anymore.

For the most part.

If, for example, he were to accidentally fall against you or, even worse, on top of you, he will go right back to his, what I call, “virgin state” of constant apologies, a red, blushing face, and covering his embarrassing expression with his hands. Poor guy :(

Your relationship with him is otherwise pretty calm.

He would try his best to hang out with you as much as he can, either it be trying to be your partner when working on school projects, having lunch with you, or walking you home after school. Maybe even hanging at your or his house? 0///0

He really likes being around you. Even while being in the reserve course where he is constantly reminded about how he is just barely not good enough, being with you makes it all a lot more bearable.

(Actually, with enough affection and convincing on your part, I bet you could stop him from signing up for the project that turned him into Izuru- 👀)

He loves to take you places to hang out! Not like restaurants (at least not all the time-) but like local places like around hope's peak or the town. Like the place where he met Chiaki. He likes that sense of not being around a lot of other people, it makes him a lot more comfortable. Not that he is shy, per sé, he just doesn’t like people sometimes.

Though… sometimes he has his.. dumb moments.

It’s hard for him to pick up on context clues sometimes. (He is a himbo after all)

He can’t help it, he tries his best.

So if you ask him for help on your homework or projects, he would try his best, of course…. But it would probably be a smarter idea if you asked someone else.

Oh, and I totally recommend calling him a himbo if he does something dumb. At first he wouldn’t know what himbo even means, but after you tell him, he will get all blushy and deny everything, trying to defend himself. But deep down, he thinks…

“Am I… really a himbo? ….. Maybe… *cries*”

Over all, an 8/10 on the boyfriend scale. Loyal, fun, and an absolute dream to tease.

If he says he doesn’t like it, that’s as big of a lie as saying Kokichi doesn't lie. <3

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･' [ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ]'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

~{ Word Count : 1072 }~

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» [meant to be yours ] «

1:00 ─〇──── 3:26

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First off, this is a tough one. It’s hard for Nagito to fall in love for two reasons.

Number one, he has a fixation on ultimates, so if you don’t have an ultimate, the likelihood of him wanting to get to know you, let alone even noticing you to begin with is close to none. (I’m sorry, but I feel like when this boy is fixated on something, he can’t look at anything else) but if you are an ultimate… anything, no matter how obscure, he will treat you a lot better.

Number two, he has pretty much lost everyone who loved him, His family, friends, even pets, all because of him and his luck. (Even though it’s not his fault.) he went through all the stages of grief so much at such a young age, he just assumed it was his fault. It was the only thing that made sense. Therefore, he distances himself from making meaningful relationships. At least most of the time, because there are exceptions. For example, the ultimates! He wouldn’t want to become too close to them, he sees himself as trash anyways, but close enough so that he can lift them higher up.

But guess who is also an exception?

You!

Either if it was the moment he saw you or after a couple months of getting to know you, he could absolutely tell he was in love.

And do you know what he did?

He hid it.

He wasn’t going to taint the shining ultimates, symbols of hope, with his scummy self, not even if his feelings were literally gnawing at him from the inside.

He would just push it away. So it’s up to you to make the first move.

And once you do…

He will be utterly surprised, and also very fucking scared. You, an ultimate, likes… him? Huh? (You know the voice line ;)) His brain starts to think about how his luck could mess it up, about how it has messed up his life before. About how he has messed up his life before.

But, then he realizes something.

You spend time with him, give him small gifts, and even walk with him to his house sometimes. And now you are confessing your love to someone like him?

This must mean…

You have the most bright, shining, glorious hope of all time!!! Your hope absolutely eclipse the rest of the ultimates!

And he will quickly go from a nervous, put pretty normal expression, to absolutely freaking the fuck out. He will be blushing beyond belief, hyperventilating, shaking arms wrapped firmly around his trembling body.

And even worse?

He collapses onto the ground.

You panic. What in the world?! Is he alright?! You run over to him and as soon as you see is practically fucked out expression, you know he is more than alright.

He now believes that because of him literally just being himself, he created the most beautiful hope of all!

So it's a no brainer why he would be reacting like this.

But anyways, enough with my self indulgence, my apologies.

He would be such a good boyfriend!

Almost… too good.

What are the pros and cons, you may ask? Well…

Pros!

He will dote on you EVERY DAY, all the time, constantly. He will help you remember to eat, drink, or even things you just forgot, he will help you with your studies, fuck it, he would literally turn into your personal maid if you wanted.

He is soooo incredibly supportive! (As long as your actions are for hope, of course. But all your actions are for hope, you're literally the ultimate hope!) Every word that falls from his mouth is either praise or comfort. He only ever criticizes you if you are too hard on yourself or don’t see yourself the way he does.

Very flexible, if that’s something you care about. If plans change, either by chance or by you, especially by you, he will just go with the flow. He pretty much always has gone with the flow throughout his whole life due to his luck cycle. So if you suddenly want to be spontaneous, he will follow right behind you with a happy smile.

Cons?

A little… overbearing. As mentioned in the pros, he dotes on you a lot. It’s a way he feels like he is being useful to you. But it can because a little much at times. For example, it will take a lot of convincing on your part for him to actually feel comfortable letting you cook, or even cook together for that matter. It’s mostly because of his worry that his luck will cause something bad to happen to you, even if he isn’t physically present. He just cares a lot about you, okay? He can’t help but shelter you. So if you are a free spirit, having some.. talks with him about boundaries would be very helpful.

Very overprotective, as kinda mentions in the one up here 👆. If you get hurt, or are even in a dangerous situation, his instincts to keep you safe at all times will kick in. He might think that you getting hurt will just cause your hope to become ever brighter, but he realizes how much you absolutely hate it when you are hurt or in a dangerous situation, so he will try his best to protect you instead. And, Auta forbid, if you get bullied. He will unleash everything and anything he has upon his new enemy/enemies. You saw how intricite his plan of murder was in Goodbye Dispear, now imagine that, but 5 times worse. He honestly asked you if you needed help… disposing of your bullies, we’re he would “round them up and scold them” and you would… finish the job. He wanted your hope to grow even stronger! But, of course, you declined.

But, this only meant for a “change of plans”.

The school system didn’t even notice they were gone until it had been a few months, and by that point, no one had any leads. The case went cold before anyone could even open a file.

So… maybe talk to him about… other ways to stop bullies.

Over all, 8/10 on the boyfriend scale. Very supportive, passionate, and easy going, but a little psychotic and borderline yandere at times. Your foes better be watching their backs at all times or else they might lose them.

/(*⁰▿⁰*)\ <3!

[verinarin]

i think sub!matt would be obsessed with reader’s neck since he can hear her pulse there the best.

at first it’d be wholesome (warm hugs where he’d bury his face in her neck and breathe her in).

but slowly it would get more intimate… matt would plant a million soft kisses on her neck, caressing her waist, reducing her to a puddle of desperate breaths 😫

Oh god… 😮‍💨

I could already imagine the smugness on his face when you’re breath hitched. Okay, let me paint a picture for you anon..

Warning: 18+ NSFW

It was an innocent activity that you usually partake with Matt, nothing more than sitting on his lap, facing him while reading a novel that you just bought for the weekends.

It’s a customary thing you’ve been doing since you dated him, you’ll pick up a short novel you could finish in two days and then you’ll read it for him, like a short story telling of some sorts.

Now then, today he seems a bit off.

You usually would rest your head on his chest while softly reading the novel, his arms would wrap around your waist as his rest his head on top of yours.

But today he had been burying his face on your neck, it’s not like you don’t enjoy it ,but it makes you harder to read since you have to wrap your arms around his neck to properly do so.

It was going well until he starts kissing your soft skin, your neck to be precise. It’s innocent yet you could feel that he’s conspiring into something more ….intimate.

You couldn’t help but slightly moan because of the friction he made by kissing your neck.

“Matthew,” you whisper beside his ear, he answered with a simple hum as he continued to kiss your neck, but this time his tongue is involved, gently licking and sucking your neck.

“Nghnn…what do you think you’re doing ? ” you whine, resting your face on his shoulder because of his restless onslaught on your neck.

“M’mm just kissing your neck that’s all, sweetheart,” he says between teasing your neck with his so called ‘kisses’.

“Hah~, m’not gonna finish if you keep this up, Matthew,” you sniffle, your novel was already dropped on the floor some time ago to let your hands wrap around his neck for support.

“Honestly, I wasn’t even paying attention,” he chuckles, his fingers circling your back as he goes even further with his teasing.

Now he’s straights up marking your neck with hickeys.

“Tch, rude,” you scoff at him, he is enjoying himself proofed by his constant whines and moans while marking you.

“Sorry dear, but your neck was just too delectable to pass on,” he says between his moan, now he moves to the other side of your neck.

It’s too much, but you can’t decide whether you want it to stop or want more.

“Matthew, please stop,” your breath hitch, you were doing your best to keep your whines and moans at bay, he certainly doesn’t appreciate it.

“I can’t stop, please I need this,need you,” he whines, now he moves even further to your collar boner, nibbling the skin softly.

“Not now, I was reading,” you can’t seem to hold back your whines and moans anymore, you could feel his lips slightly curving like he was smirking at the fact he made you let down your guard.

“Why are you grinding on my thighs then ?, sweetheart,” it seems that he also picked up your unsubconscious action along the way.

Now you’re kind of pissed off with his attitude.

“I’m not, don’t be cocky, Matthew,” you harshly admit, which fuels him even more. It was like he’s been teasing you to make you mad.

“I’m just stating facts,” his tone was cocky, too much cocky for your liking. Being cocky is a charm of his, but he needs to be put down to his place, and he’s probably waiting for it.

“You gonna seat here kissing my whole body ? ” you intertwine your fingers into his hair while he’s occupied with both of your neck and collar bone with his fingers fiddling with the buttons of your shirt.

“Maybe ? ” he have the audacity to actually tease you, when you both knew who really wants this in the first place.

Suddenly your grab the collar of his shirt and drag his face from your neck towards your face, you could see his lust-driven smile.

“Better use that smart mouth of yours on something more, rather than teasing the hell out of my neck,” you whisper beside his ear, you could feel his breath getting slightly heavier.

“Fuck, yes please,” he whines, which is cute but you need more.

“What’s the magic word, Matty,” you purr, your finger circling his broad chest slowly.

You knew how Matty affects him, he gets even more needy when you called him that.

“Fuck, please let me eat out that sweet pussy of yours,” he begs, which was pretty decent and you won’t let the poor boy suffer anymore.

He always wants your attention in every shape or form.

“Good boy,”

[noxdont]

"Bound to You"

(Scaralumi Soulmates AU)

Scaramouche didn't bleed. Yet he could vividly feel the clean cut from a blade that wasn't even in the same space as him. Its sharp edge danced on his skin before the stinging sensation followed. After checking his surroundings, annoyance and confusion struck him both at the same time. If it were a Fatui agent then he would already have his hand wrapped around the rat’s neck. But there was no enemy nor any sense of danger in sight and the pain has yet to subside. Only after a few hours it had finally disappeared and he merely brushed it off as a minor inconvenience. Until the sensations keep coming back.

At the very beginning, he even thought of himself as being broken. The following sensations were not limited to pain but other emotions as well. Scaramouche could unconsciously and suddenly feel the odd excitement, the crestfallen disappointment and constant yearning at different times without any prior interaction that would cause such emotions. And it was beginning to irritate him.

He did not speak of these experiences to anyone else, most especially not to his fellow harbingers until one day he knelt on the ground and clutching his chest in pure agony.

"Well this is quite an interesting surprise.”

Unfortunately out of all people, the Doctor had to be the one to witness him in such a state. But if there was anyone else who could figure what was happening with him, Scaramouche would have no doubt that this arrogant prick would have an answer. And an answer he did have when Dottore managed to laugh his guts out in the open after Scaramouche explained his predicament in frustration.

“Are you done laughing like a madman or have you finally lost it?”

“Please do know that it was not my intention to offend you, Scaramouche. I simply did not expect a heartless being like you would ever be capable of having your own soulmate. Quite an interesting miracle I would say. Wouldn’t you agree?"

It seemed more like a cruel joke. Soulmates, to Scaramouche, have always been a mystery and another reminder of how different he was from what he silently yearned to be all those years ago. Soulmates in Teyvat share a special bond where involved parties are able to feel the other’s pain or strong emotions. For decades, Scaramouche never bothered looking for his own considering what he was in the first place and nothing significant or out of place occurred which made him think otherwise. Not until today it seems.

He didn’t know what to make of it. And before he could even stop himself from involving himself any further, it was already too late. Scaramouche grew more observant of the people around him– their reactions, their experiences and their emotions. He watched and silently sought out that ever invisible yet special connection until it led him to Liyue's solid grounds. Her name came up a few times amongst the Fatui since Signora brought the Anemo Archon's gnosis. A delicate looking stranger who managed to not only thwart the Abyss's plans and became Mondstadt's rising hero in a few days time.

"She may not be much of a problem now although I have a feeling she'll pose as a larger threat if we don't get rid of her soon." Signora's words left them all with a burning curiosity. But such curiosity soon led to interest after their swift encounter.

Lumine. Her name was as delicate as she looked yet the way she wields a blade erases any ideas that would portray her as some sort damsel in distress. Daring and reckless with a sickeningly pure heart. She was everything he hated and everything he couldn't achieve to be.

"You actually managed to find this place. Congratulations." He mocked.

All previous thoughts on his alleged soulmate long forgotten until he could sense the swelling anger coursing rapidly through his veins. And all it took was one look from her and then he knew.

"Hah. Barely two words in and you already look like you want me dead."

He couldn't believe it. Out of all the people in the world it just had to be her. Destiny truly is marvelous for crafting such a comical irony.

"You're getting all worked up over nothing. You've changed…"

In the end, what use would it be if he was fated with his own enemy?

"You're getting weak."

Scaramouche drank her fury link fine wine and it was richer than any kind of anger he has ever encountered. It was an interesting sight if he does say so himself. To watch the oh so righteous hero everyone looked up to slowly be poisoned by their own malice and grief. It almost made him want to hold her.

[witch-hazels-musings]

Hey there Hazel!! Your new event looks so cool 🤩 can I request a "reading of fate" with Itto, please?

Thank youuu ✨✨✨

The Chariot (accomplishments), The Fool (fear of losing something), The Hermit (isolation) :: Itto x gn reader | neutral fate

warning: sfw, humor, imprisonment mention (itto) 

Itto paced around the small room, his thoughts swirling like a tornado. Each idea, every possible solution to his current problem flashed like lightning in his mind before being replaced by the next, better option. He hated everything about his current situation but swore he wouldn’t let it drag down his ability to problem solve. 

Perhaps brute strength would work, he thought as he pulled at the bars to the cell. They didn’t budge but made a horrible groaning sound. They must have prepared this place especially for him. 

I could dig my way out, he mused as his nails dug into the stone hidden beneath the layer of dirt. That wasn’t going to work either. 

If only I had my vision, he grunted while his hands rubbed his face to the point of scratching it. How did they even manage to take it off of him. He hadn’t the slightest clue but it was a terrible time to be without it. 

Defeated, hungry, annoyed, he slumped to the ground. Even with his body folding in on itself he looked so large in the tiny prison cell. A weeping oni trapped behind a set of bars, how pitiful. 

“... been here?” Itto heard a voice just around the corner. His shoulders lifted at the familiarity of it but not as much as his hopeful eyes did as he gazed into the dimly lit hallway. There was a heavy sigh that echoed across the stone walls and he knew exactly who it was. 

“y/n!” Itto called out as he crawled to the bars. His hand shoved through them like a child reaching for it’s parent. “Hey, yoooo, y/n! Back here!” He cried and waited impatiently for you to appear.

“Itto.” 

“y/n!” Itto perked up at the sight of your face. His burly body bolting upright as he pulled you into a hug through the cold iron bars. You groaned and shoved him but he didn’t dare let go. “Man, am I glad to see you.” 

“lemf gah-” 

“Huh?” 

Pushing back against his strong grip, you slammed your hands into his bare chest and gasped for air before glaring at him. “Let go!” 

“Oh, sorry, sorry.” He laughed and released you. It took you a minute to compose yourself and he watched you on bouncing legs until you finally looked at him. To enhance his desire to be free, he pressed his face to the bars, the cold metal feeling refreshing against his heated, stuffy skin. 

“Okay, so do you want to explain to me how you got in this situation?” 

“It wasn’t that big of a deal.” 

“Itto, you’re in jail.” 

“Misunderstandings.” 

With an exasperated sigh, you looked him over and he saw the pity slip into your eyes as the state of him. It was, in fact, a misunderstanding but not a stretch to believe he was guilty or at fault. “You look terrible.” 

“Hah, you should see the building I fell through.” 

“YOU FELL THROUGH A BUILDING!?” 

“Again, misunderstandings.” 

“Itto, how in the -- by the archons.” It seemed like a constant state of your demeanor to have your head in your hand whenever you interacted with him. He much preferred when you laughed, but he learned to take this gesture as a display of your care for him. “Look, whatever you did, it doesn’t really matter to me. I’m just glad you’re alive.” 

Itto smiled so wide it pushed his cheeks flush against the bars and certainly made a horrible view on your end. “Bah, you know me! I wouldn’t be bested by something like that.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Either way. I can’t get you out.” 

“WHAT!?” 

“You’re lucky they said you can be let go tomorrow, but tonight --” You gestured to the empty room behind him and soon the misery set in. 

All the worst possible thoughts ran through is mind at the realization he wouldn’t be set free. If they could take this day from him, how many other things could possibly be stolen - what about his vision, what about his family, ... what about you? “But -” 

“I’ll be back with something to eat, they’ve at least given me that much.” Itto slid to the floor. His knees bumping into the bars as he adjusted, the top of his head digging into them as he slumped forward. This position was certain to give him a headache but he didn’t care. “It’s only for one night.” You reassured him with a gentle stroke against his hair. 

“One night that’ll feel like an eternity.” He groaned. 

Another sigh left you but this time it was softer, sadder, and with the sound of your hand against the bars, he felt you in front of him. Instinctually, he reached out to touch you and you accepted his hand. Did this gesture of yours have more meaning than a simple comfort? He always wanted to know. “I’ll be here as long as I can. Trust me, I tried to get you out.” He nodded but didn’t seem hopeful. “What on earth were you doing anyway.” 

He adjusted his neck until he could partially look at you, his forehead pressed against the metal and eyes avoiding. “I heard how you were talking about wanting a crystal fly and, well you see, there was a swarm of them. The cliff appeared so suddenly ...” 

The bubbling sound of your laughter drew his attention. It was such a refreshing sound that did wonders to his heart. “Well, did you catch any?” 

“Of course I did. They didn’t know what hit them!” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small handful of crystal cores that shined even in the darkness. “I lost a few in the fall but, not all of them.” He beamed, pride rippling off him like the sun on a rushing river. 

“You’re unbelievable.” You chuckled as you placed your hand over his and even though he worked so hard to capture these the real reason would have to wait until tomorrow. He was certain you wouldn’t want to be confessed too in a place like this. 

Itto watched your fingers dance across his skin as you flipped and turned the crystal cores in his large palm and he pressed his forehead further against the bars. Man, this was going to be a long, long night. 

Fate Made Event (May8-31) | Anthology

[warcriminalcommie]

Hey guys welcome back to another episode of Ay ruining your day because HAAAA.

Felt like we needed some depressing shit here that isn't depressing in the "What did you do you to him? Wh-Why? I'm gonna go vomit now what the fuck did I just read—" way so have angst. :bbg_emoji:

Also if you feel like you've seen this before, that's because you probably have. I yoinked this from my Wattpad because I'm (not) cool.

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Blue Or Brown, Can't Remember

It's been a few months since Deimos had passed. Almost more than half a year. Specific period. But that's because that event kept haunting you, replaying in your head. Hah, replay. Even thinking of that word reminds you of his stupid song that he'd bug you with. Funny how you'd describe it as him annoying you back then when now you'd do anything for him to just come back and pester you with his stupidity just once more.

You really couldn't get your mind off of him. Everything would remind you of him and the stuff you'd do together as friends. As friends. Nothing but friends. That's what it was, what it was and what it always will be due to you taking him for granted. You thought he'd always be there. That one day, you'll eventually get the courage to confess to him. Or hell, maybe he'd confess to you! I mean, he did seem to take an interest in you. But that'll remain unknown for the rest of eternity, or at least the rest of your life, because he's gone. Gone forever.

You didn't even get to say goodbye. You weren't even there when it happened. Every day you keep thinking about it. All the 'what if's and 'if only's filling your brain. Just like how it's filling it right now, as you sit here and ponder your now meaningless life.

"What if I was there?"

"What if I took the bullet instead of him?"

"If only I saved him."

"If only it could've been me."

These thoughts kept harassing you. You couldn't take it anymore. It was all you could think of. You could barely experience any form of happiness without you being pulled back into this state of constant, unhealthy grief.

"If only, if only, IF ONLY!!" You screamed out, tears in your eyes. You didn't even care if Hank or Sanford heard you from their rooms. You just couldn't take this anymore. It was literal hell on earth. 

Hell on earth...

Huh.

Makes you wonder where your beloved little chain-smoker is right now. The thought had just popped into your head. Now instead of regret, you felt fear. Fear, worry, and concern. You hoped that he was somewhere safe, his soul resting in peace from this hell you all called Nevada. 

You shook your head, trying to get these thoughts away. But you couldn't. God, how much you missed him. His dumb jokes, his stupid personality, his voice, his scent of tobacco, his eyes... His...eyes... Huh. Now that you think of it, you can't even remember his facial features, or any of his features for that matter. You had a hint in your head that his eyes might have been either blue or brown, but you can't seem to remember.

That thought made you get up from your bed to go and look for a photo of him, or anything similar to that. You looked and looked until it hit you that you haven't kept any sort of archive of him. That thought made you freeze in your place. Tears started stinging your eyes, the sour feeling setting in. The fact that you don't even have anything to remember Deimos with broke you.

You immediately and frantically opened your phone. You scrolled and scrolled on every app that you had, back and forth and went through every single piece of data there. And... Nothing. No chat logs, no conversations, no images, nothing. It can't be possible... Can it?? Oh, wait...

It can.

And that's because in a fit of pure anguish, you decided to erase what little you had of Deimos left on your device so you can forget about him. So you can heal faster. It all moved to your "Recently deleted" folder, but you had forgotten to move the files back where they belonged. As for the chat logs... They never had any hope of being restored easily after you deleted them. Only someone with complicated tech knowledge could do that job so easily.

Someone like him.

And there you go... Remembering him again... Gosh, you really were dependent on him, huh? You started to think about life before him. It was... Bad. To say the least. It might just be because of the fact you lived in this pathetic excuse of a state, but who knows? You certainly don't since your view of the past, yourself, everyone and the whole fucking world has been contorted after this little incident 

It's all just so absolutely meaningless now. So worthless and nugatory. It all felt so dull without him. He was the spark of joy in your life that you didn't know you needed. That you didn't appreciate enough. That you took for granted.

You sighed, laying on your bed again, staring at the ceiling. You felt the tears dry but then you just burst out, again. You took a shaky breath, trying to regain composure. You felt so hopeless. It just hurt so much to cry over and over again. You couldn't take it anymore. To make it all even somehow worse, your nose had started burning thanks to all the tissues. You tried to take deep breaths to calm yourself by at least a bit, but you simply kept breaking down mid-breath.

Choking on your own breath and panting heavily, you sighed, tears falling down your face. You were so damn exhausted from crying. It felt like shit, but you couldn't stop. Your heart was pounding like crazy, and your lungs felt like they were beating. It started to physically hurt you. Is this how Deimos felt?

...

Why?

Why?

Just why?

Why did you have to remember him again? And why did it have to be that memory out of everything?

Why couldn't he leave your mind? Why couldn't he let you be? Why can't you just let this thought disappear? Why can't you repress it like all the horrible things you've repressed?

Was he haunting you? I mean, in your current state, you'd probably be delusional enough to believe that he does still live on as some sort of undead entity. Thankfully, that thought didn't cross your mind. Yet.

Trying to clear your mind out of all these thoughts just made you feel worse. Again. All you did was remember how you could have treated Deimos better. All the insults you'd throw at him, all the hits, punches, kicks, all the mean comments. You meant it in a joking, friendly, light-hearted manner. But it still made you feel like shit.

What if he didn't catch the hint?

What if he took it as genuine?

What if he hated you all the time?

What if you hurt his feelings?

You just broke down again at these thoughts. Something that made it all worse is that you actively denied these comments and actions to be jokes. Deimos seemed to take it well, but would seem hurt from time to time. You couldn't tell if he was being sad as a sort of joke of his, or if he was genuine. It still hurt to know that.

Fuck. What if he did actually have feelings for you and never confessed because of these comments? What if he felt the same way? You couldn't tell which thought hurt more. The one about him hating you in silence, or loving you in silence.

It hurt. It hurt so much. You just wanted your consciousness to be taken away. You couldn't even dream about any more happy moments with Deimos.

What if you were nicer to him?

What if you actually confessed?

What if you were there for him?

What if you didn't let him split and leave you?

What if you took his place?

What if?

What if?

What if?

What if.

What if.

What if.

What if.

What if.

WHAT IF?!

...

But it doest matter.

Because he's gone.

Gone forever.

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lmao loser.

Still nervous about posting shit onto this hellhole woo.

[janumun]

Sukuna giving Vessel hook up advice.

Vessel is lonely, craving sentiment; to touch, worship and love, receiving and giving. The Vessel wants to know people, befriend new minds, see sights alike. But shit they're a shy, nervous lad; sometimes ashamed to indulge lustful fantasies. It eats their heart on the inside. A sort of sad, longing for connection and companionship. As humans, we build to communicate and establish ourselves, for better or worse.

Vessel and Sukuna share a single body, interlocking them deep physically and mentally whether they want it or not. When the Vessel is happy there is a small shift-a soft wash of joy in Sukuna's stomach. It's strange, not humanly understandable for a King of Curses, but he can be weirdly content with it. When Vessel is sad or upset, Sukuna temporarily shares that specific emotion or feeling. And as much as Sukuna adores his Vessel's struggle. That sweet, delicious despair that gives him a classic sadistic kick, that doesn't mean he wants a constant uncomfortable environment, especially if it comes at an inedible expense of his pleasure.

He's incredibly bored, but not so bored as to deny himself comfort within his own caged space. Not when Sukuna knows he can do something about it, despite if he doesn't actually want to, only for his own merit, if it works it works. Pathetically human as it is.

Besides, in a certain way, he's getting something out of it too. Seeing you, feeling you, his adorable vessel, his body and mind, losing themselves in sinful moments of pleasure.

What does a King do, if not indulge?

Sukuna takes what he wants, steals whatever catches his interest. But it isn't possible in his current state within you, and you aren't willing to immorally kill/destroy either, that's out of the question. But that hardly means Sukuna is any less a smooth talker, experience aplenty on melting people with a sinister rumble in their ears. He is a master at flirting, at leading unfortunate people and eventual worshippers into the palms of their god, helping you pick up a long-time friend of yours at a bar will be no different. All men are the same at their cores; greedy meatbags.

You want this friend of yours quite badly, don't you? That worthless fool? Hah! Don't be so predictable brat, stop the denial, I ain't fucking stupid.

You dream of them, their fingers, their tongue, their flesh. You want to be eaten, savored and picked apart; you want to be all the flavors the royals dine for. You know better than to hide from me, brat. I know all your filthy little secrets, I felt them, saw them as you ate yourself from the inside out. That's right, I saw you.

Be honest with yourself. Admit all your desires, go in for the kill then take the weak fool home for the awaited flourishing. I grow impatient, go brat, you waste precious time.

(I'm sorry, but I think Sukuna can be oddly poetic when he wants to be, more so when he acknowledges the benefits.

Maybe this is where his obsession roots growth. You dream, desire-you think about all these people, indulging in their lust and bursting at the seams when they hold you close. Yeah, Sukuna definitely enjoys it too, its sex, what's there not to love? Maybe convinced you to let him take a bite. That seductive, cruel wet mouth sucking-teasing at your entrance, touching and poking passionately as your "lover" gives an admittedly impressive show. He can feel them like you do, pleasure you enjoy to the fullest, everything you share increased tenfold via your unique connection. Because of your apparent sensitivity, he can’t do too much suppression for pride’s sake, but Sukuna isn't complaining-not about to ruin everything, you finally gave in. As insulting and crude as Sukuna is, you both know it just tightens you up further, liquid excitement Sukuna drinks like his favorite sake. Feeding off your pleasure, adrenaline, a lusty high.

And you do this, ascend to Heaven, to fill the dark loneliness that threatens to devour you faster than even Sukuna would. Pitiful, you're a slave nature. Maybe he starts to realize just how delicious it really was, how his precious Vessel moved and moaned. Your nervous nature, your virgin perspective on self-indulgent activities and your eagerness to praise and adore your lovers, that addiction to the limit breaks of physical prowess. How far you will push yourself in and outside of privacy, you have a strong wish to prove yourself capable of anything, to take everything you do.

Sukuna once encouraged your one-night stands,

now he begins utterly loathing his suggestion.

 Because people-these insignificant strangers-saw you, desired you. It pisses him off, his source of pleasure knew them in ways not only by sight, that you agreed to lay amongst them but didn't turn a glance toward who really mattered when he actually went out of his way to help you gather those weaklings; lied right beside them, kissed unworthy skin when Sukuna was better in every way man could never hope to become.

It angers him further that you dream of them just as often. You house a god, the all-powerful King of Curses, who deserves nothing less than worship, praise, devotion and pleasure of all sorts. And he sees you, an admittedly worthwhile fool-someone whom he knows craves to give all of that and more-looks at mere mortals. You choose pathetic meatbags over a god who can generously gift you all the pain and pleasure you could ever wish, far more than what some random man or woman could ever live long enough to bless you with.

Those fools, you dare think him lesser?

Sukuna never felt more insulted in his entire immortal existence.)

2/

No worries over the fun Ask, Nonny. Displeased Curse King over his Vessel’s choice of lovers is something I eat up delightedly. 😋 He’s going to be slipping in, disrupting his Vessel’s sexual activities with those insignificant insects, forcing them to realize their King is the one who could truly make their body sing.

[ferids-despair]

For the spicy crowley… I mean, they could. We just can’t walk for a while 😂

Fuck me with your anger, Crowley. 🤤

The constant squeaking bed and the banging against the wall gets louder as Crowley tends to get rougher with you. You haven’t had him rail you this hard in some time so something must really be affecting your man. “Hah- Crowley~” your sweet moans are like music to his ears as he takes you on a lousy mattress.

Even if he’s railing you this hard, you still want more and you began to beg for it. Anyone walking in on you two would both think you two are animals in heat. “Please, fuck me harder!” He doesn’t hesitate to plow you into the mattress more forcefully, letting out his own frustration.

“Fuck babe, what’s gotten into you, huh?” He notices your worn-out state and smirks at the fact that he’s the only one that can make you feel like this. “Does my cock feel that good huh?”

“You like when I fuck this tight hole don’t you? I know you do, fuck~” you moan in response to his derogatory words. It turns you on so much that you can’t bare it. You cum once again, seeing stars as Crowley fucks you through your orgasm. You’ve only had two rounds and you can’t even keep up with his stamina nor his speed. Having said that, he tries to go easy on your human body.

“That’s the 5th time in a row, can you give me one more babe?” You smile tiredly but give in regardless.