#i am so glad i get self offent thoughts once in a blue moon

[chaosjester666]

Hah seems like I can actually call the cops on my mother and Karen of a grandmother for what they did to me as a child, no matter what they say

Cause let's be honest, when your ELEMENTRY SCHOOLER child comes up to you to play because the father is in a diffrent state and only gets seen on holidays/school breaks and your reaction is a "later" and when your kid comes back 20min later and asks again and you tell them "later" again and then they come back in an hour to ask only to be told "if you ask one more time I won't play with you at all" and so you have scared the child away from asking only to never play mother or just telling the child a "no" or "I'm busy" when playing FUCKING SOLITAR grandmother and this happens so many times that the child stops asking and even to this day even when board games are bought the child will not ask for fear of being told no

As well as the child only being allowed the TV when their shows are playing which is only in the morning and then promptly being left to entertain themselves despite the fact that multiple teachers has mistaken the child for having adhd/autism and the child being quite bullied and the only friend they will have for the next 3-4 years being toxic but the child can not tell because for once some one actually wants to play with them

And then you give the child a phone so that when they are with the Father (who actually plays and makes an attempt at hanging out) and suddenly the child has access to entertainment at all times and suddenly the phone is the child's only form of entertainment and is the child's only safe space due to the constant reinforcement that they are not allowed to lock themselves away into their room to calm down or for a matter of fact be allowed to be upset with the adults so ofcourse the child gets attached and develops Nomophobia(the fear of being away from one's phone) and becomes overly attached to the internet

And due to the child being constantly ostersized and isolated at school despite informing the parents only for the parents to leave them at the school the child becomes overly attached to people who will actually hang out with the child causing the child to not notice the fact that those "friends" are toxic and manipulative which then causes the child when it goes into middle school to become a slight people pleaser towards friends which only isolates the child further until the child gives up making friends and finally sees that all prior "friends" were toxic and is finally able to see what true friendship is

Not to mention the fact that the child becomes so used to bottling up negative emotions that it worsens the child's anger issues (which only got so bad due to the fact that the parents refused to get the child therapy or actual outlits and would instead cause the child to lash out only to punish the child for having those feelings) and it eventually gets to the point that the child is nolonger able to properly express emotions

Not to mention the child's other traumas of therapists(due to the mother's therapist trying to force the child when it was still in kindergarten-3rd grade to explain why they would cause the mother emotional turmoil despite not hearing the child's side), expressing negative emotions, fear of that if they tell the truth they won't be believed or they will be punished(turning the child into a compulsive liar due to said fear)

And the parents wonder why the child is cold, sarcastic, rude, closed off, 'disrespectful'(how can one be disrespectful when they were never shown what respect truly looks like), untrusting, self isolated from family, emotionally manipulative(subconsciously), a compulsive liar, has severe anger issues, mildly depressed, paranoid, does not go to the parents for help, hides illness until it is so bad the child can not function(only to be called a liar and only wanting to get out of school or for attention), out of touch with feelings, and generally unable to reach out to family about issues. It's all because of the emotional neglect and border line emotion manipulation.

I did not mean to go on a rant about my shitty child hood but then again my parents just got mad at me for wanting to buy a game with my own money and then drawing me into a fight about how I act all while I have a migraine, my head is fuzzy, my face is going numb, I feel like I'm going to hurl, my legs are trying to give out, and I'm overheating so yeaaaaaaaaaaa