#had to run to here to exercise my sad angst demon

[curestaarlight]

just thought about s2 and the funeral and how much cheng xiaoshi cried and how much he probably cried later, beside lu guang's hospital bed, and how lu guang probably felt his heart seize up with so much sadness and devotion and love, love, love, because the man in front of him seemed to feel so much it spills out of him, and so all lu guang can do is wipe the tears away as they come, and let them come until soon, later, they dry out. and cheng xiaoshi, tired from all the crying, lays his head in lu guang's lap, and lu guang tells him it's ok. it's alright—he can rest for a little while.

[stellamancer]

don’t, if you value your life (one-sided nier x reader)

notes: i have had the idea of this fic in my head ever since i finished replicant like a year ago. of all the things i expected to write on my days off, this was absolutely not one of them, but at midnight a demon possessed my body and puked out the fic. though i think of it more of a writing exercise since anyone knows me knows that my typical genre of fic is completely on the other side of the spectrum of this. 

contains: angst (no happy ending), canon-typical violence, mentions of blood, suicide ideation, very minor stalking, character death, largely un-beta read, language (Kainé is present after all). 

wc: 3.9k words

if you read this and think i need to add a tag, please tell me. 

Don't go into that village. 

Don't go near it. 

Don't, if you value your life. 

The words of your elders are etched into your brain— your mind. It's a mantra, a hymn, a warning. The village in question is a quiet place, nestled in verdant hills, built upon the ruins of the old world. They say it's peaceful there, pretty even, but the village houses a great and terrible monster. One that will kill on sight— without hesitation, without mercy. 

When you were younger, the curiosity, morbid and insatiable clawed at your heart. Maybe the elders were over exaggerating, maybe they were mistaken, maybe there was no monster at all. You thought about it sometimes, thought about tempting fate and visiting the forbidden village. Someone said that there's a library there and you'd love to see one, even just once. However, everyone who ignored the words of elders— who set off to see that village never, ever returned. 

That, in of itself, was enough to prove the monster was real. 

And so, you stayed away.

You didn't need to see a library, the view of the ocean near your home was beautiful enough to fill your heart and mind, leaving no room for thoughts of merciless, bloodthirsty monsters. For the most part, your existence has been quiet and peaceful.

At least it was, until the monster left its village. 

Until the monster came to the seaside town you called your home. 

Truth be told, it's not the first time the monster has appeared in your hometown, but its visits were well communicated— the sentries stationed outside the town quick to inform everyone to hide for the monster was on the way. Those visits were spent in the shadows hiding with bated breath— hoping and praying the monster would never notice. Your mother had hidden you well away, afraid that even laying eyes on the monster would condemn you to a fate far too sad. So you didn't know, you didn't know—

The screaming through the town is sudden and shrill, the sound running chills down your body. It is a siren biding you to run if you value your life. You and those around you act on instinct, running, scampering across the streets. Some run further into town, some toward the harbor, you run toward the lighthouse, abandoned since its caretaker died some years ago. You think it will be safest. The monster is said to be indiscriminate with its slaughtering, but also intelligent— surely, it won't come looking for murder in a place where no one is supposed to be. And if it does… you can choose to end it yourself rather than at the monster's bloody hands. 

You ascend the lighthouse, two steps at a time. The cacophony of carnage is muffled here— distant, but still ominous in the background. You quickly reach the top of the tower and the town is so saturated in the stench of death that not even the salty sea breeze that's filling your lungs can displace it. From here you can see it all, your peers running in all directions, scattering like petals in the wind. 

It is here, for the very first time, you see the monster. 

If not for the large, bloodied greatsword in his hands, you would think him more a man than a monster. You cannot make much of his features from atop the lighthouse, save for his hair, shimmering like a beautiful white pearl in the sunlight. A strange, morbid frustration tears at your stomach as you strain your eyes in efforts to get a better look at this monster. He rushes at a group, too slow, too unfortunate and looks to effortlessly cleave them, slicing their bodies into ribbons. 

You should be horrified. Disgusted. Afraid. 

Instead, you are transfixed. 

Your body is stock still as you bear witness to the monster's massacre. He is every bit as cruel as the elders said— there is no hesitation, no mercy in the swing of his sword as he fells your neighbors and friends one by one. You are lucky that you ran to such a secluded area, just as you figured, the monster of a man doesn't bother to come your way. You wonder if he thinks there is no carnage to be found in such an abandoned place. 

Do monsters even think?

You remain there, rooted to the spot until you see the monster, a bloodstained pearl, wander toward the town's entrance. Once he's gone, your legs finally give out from beneath you, the weight of it all hitting you like a tidal wave. Eventually, you crawl your way down the steps of the lighthouse and into the town proper to find any survivors.

After a few hours, everyone is rounded up. Only just a fourth of your small community remains. No one is without loss— friends, family, lovers are all victims to the monster's rampage. Your heart seizes in your chest when you realize your mother is among the lost. She had been home when the disaster came to pass, waiting for you to return from an errand she had sent you out for. Had she come looking for you when all hell broke loose? Was she searching for you when she drew her last breath? Was your unconfirmed safety what cost her her life? 

Despaired and disgusted, you retch. 

You should have run home instead of to the lighthouse. Because you didn't, your mother is dead. Or maybe, if you had gone back, you would have perished together, you holding your mother in a shielding embrace as the monster brings the sword down. Or, more morbidly, the monster taking your life before your mother's eyes before claiming her life as well. You don't know. You throw up again. 

The remaining shuffle to the beach, erecting crude graves of shells and stones there. One of the older members of the community recites a prayer, something reminiscent of the olden days before the ebbing tide washes the graves away. 

In the days after the slaughter, the community is especially quiet, mourning. You don't know what to do in the absence of your mother, most of your friends were among the deceased as well: you have no one left. Some of the few remaining turn to anger in their grief: marching off to the forbidden village to claim what all know to be suicide disguised as declarations of revenge. You think it's because they don't know what to do either. 

There is almost no one left in your small seaside town and the decision is made to find another community. You follow wordlessly, carrying nothing but your memories of your quiet and peaceful life because they are all that you have left. 

Fortunately, there is another community close to your seaside town, sequestered in a building large enough to home at least a dozen families. From the outside the building looks like a fancy mansion, but the interior creeps you out– it's too quiet, too eerie. To make matters worse, the community lives beneath the mansion, in what seems to be a mad scientist's lab. You almost feel like at any moment you're going to become an experiment. Some of the members of this new community seem like they already are one. 

The only good thing about your new home is that there is a library. Shelves and shelves of books line the wall. It is the only place in the mansion that has character, but there are rules that restrict visiting the library. You don't care. The rules don't matter much any more.

Nothing really matters much any more. 

It is in the library where you see the monster a second time. 

While perusing what appears to be some kind of fairy tale you hear footsteps in the hall and you instinctively scamper off into a hiding spot. You're not in the mood to be caught and lectured by the guards for breaking the rules tonight. The doors swing open and it's not the guards who walk in but the monster himself, accompanied by two— three others?

You watch from the shadows as the monster and his comrades move about the library. As he chats with them, you can't help but think of him as more of a man than a monster. He banters with… a floating book? How strange. How interesting. You'd love to see the contents of a talking book one day. 

It is much easier to make out the man's features in such close quarters. You think that he can't be much older than you. He's handsome, much more handsome than a monster has any right being. There's some odd urge to get a better look at his face pooling in your stomach. Your instinct is to act on it, to just get closer and look and look and—

Don't go near it.

Don't, if you value your life.

The old mantra holds you still like a spell, the warning coursing through your veins, keeping you taut. But still you keep watching the man, the monster. He laughs with what you have come to realize are his friends and you think he almost seems human. Is this really the same monster that wreaked havoc on your little town a few months ago?

The man and his friends soon leave the library, the talking book bickering with the man's lady friend about her choice in dress. When you are sure that they are gone and not coming back you emerge from your hiding place and settle yourself in with the fairy tale book you had been reading. Hours pass before you've read your fill and you make your way back to the cold, metal depths your community calls home. 

What you find upon arrival is not the low, but comforting chatter of your new friends and new neighbors, but dozens upon dozens of bloodstains— fresh and sticky. The stench of death is thick in the air, a sickening and stifling miasma. Before you can think, your feet are racing through the halls, screams reverberating against the walls as you search and search and search.

But you find no one. 

You are the only survivor. 

No one is left and you don't know what to do with yourself. There is a distant thought bidding you to return to the library, to drown yourself in books, in stories of another land, another time, another place where things matter and happy endings exist.

There is another thought, closer, louder and it is of the man. The handsome man. The terrible monster. Something in you desires to seek him out. Not for revenge, because you know that would be pointless, but merely because you want to get a better look at his face before you meet your inevitable end. 

You make it your goal— your reason to live. At this point, you're not even sure if you can call what you're doing living. You leave the mansion with this goal; it's all you have left. 

The journey to the forbidden village is not that long, it only takes a day on foot. But when you get to the edge you hesitate, unsure. 

What if the monster of a man isn't here?

You shake your head. Nonsense. This is his home. No other monsters have come to destroy it for he is surely the strongest one in all the land. He will definitely be here. 

Shuffling past what looks to be an abandoned camp, you make your way toward the village gates. Naturally, there are guards, but you manage to hop the fence, avoiding their attention. 

The village, despite being forbidden, is fairly peaceful. Quiet. It reminds you of your seaside home. You keep to the shadows as you steal past a row of merchants, watching as a few children play tag around a cobblestone fountain. 

Now that you're here, you realize you have no clue where to find the monster of a man. But there is one building, sitting atop a grassy hill above all the rest. You think it's a good idea to start there. 

You slink your way up the hill and you spot a few more children playing in the grass. To your surprise, a couple notice you. Surprising you further, they wave. Shyly, you wave back before bolting toward the tall building, not wanting to remain in the same spot lest the children go running to their parents. When you reach the top of the hill, you look back. The children are still playing and you breathe a sigh of relief before entering the building. 

It turns out that this is the famed library of the forbidden village. The feeling of joy, strange yet familiar, bubbles pleasantly in your stomach. You’re here to find the monster, but surely it’s fine if you take a detour. This library is much bigger than the one at the mansion— there are more books to bury yourself in, more stories to fill the void in your heart that’s been growing ever since you left your seaside town. You peruse the titles on the shelves and when you find one you don’t recognize you pull at it, freeing it from the shelf and watching as it falls to the ground, the smack echoing throughout the otherwise silent library. You freeze, fearful that someone will come running to find the source of the noise. When no one does, you scoop up the book and scamper off to a quiet, dark corner of the library to read. 

Part way through the story, the main doors of the library slam open, demanding your attention and you look up from the top of your book only to find the monster of a man. But it doesn’t look like he’s here to read, instead he briskly walks the length of the lobby. Your eyes remain glued to his form as he runs up the stairs and disappears onto the library’s second floor. The thought to follow him crosses your mind, but you remain still. He will have to come back down the stairs when he leaves— you will follow him then. You turn your attention back to the story, a little saddened that your attention is divided: it was just starting to get good. Maybe you’ll get a chance later to reread it, give it your full attention. 

Some time later, you hear footsteps again and quietly close your book. The man appears, descending the staircase, his handsome face marred by a scowl. Idly, you wonder what happened to make him upset like that, but ultimately, it doesn’t matter. You stare from your dark little corner, waiting for him to leave before you follow after him, sure to keep yourself out of sight, sure to keep yourself at a safe distance. 

Don't go near it.

Don't, if you value your life.

The monster heads toward a house, fenced in and half-dilapidated. Despite that, there’s something about the home that is warm, cozy. A stark difference from the terribly violent image of the monster that the elders painted for you. You watch, hidden in the shadow of a nearby building, as the monster tends to a flower bed next to his home, watering and weeding them before he heads inside. Through the window you see the glimmer of light, and once you’re sure he won’t suddenly come out and kill you where you stand, you draw closer to the house. 

Curious, you examine the flowers. You are not an expert on plants, but they look well cared for. It’s strange. Why would a monster so lovingly tend to plants? A monster by nature, by definition, is a creature of destruction, so why? You don’t understand. 

But you want to, against all instinct, against all odds, you want to.

You start to follow after the monster as he goes about his business, or more accurately, the business of others, running errands for them: delivering packages and messages, fishing, committing atrocities against your people. You’re always sure to stay a safe distance away— close enough to observe, yet far enough to not get wrapped up in the carnage. But sometimes, a reckless rush runs through your veins and you steal closer, listening in on his conversations with his comrades, his friends. You learn their names, their personalities and while they become more human in your eyes, their images are still blurry in your mind’s eye; you are not yet foolish enough to get close enough to get a good look at their faces. You are not yet foolish enough to delude yourself into thinking of them as friends. 

One evening, at the camp you hear the scantily clad woman— Kainé, very, very loudly announce that she is going ‘to go take a piss.’ The talking book— Weiss, complains loudly about her crudeness, disgusted, as he always is, with her choice of language. She scoffs, dismissing him with a wave before walking away. 

Walking toward you.

You scamper away, running toward a large, nearby bush and hiding within. She shouldn’t see you, or at least you hope she won’t. She approaches another bush and you look away, respecting her privacy as much as you can.

“Come out, I know you’re there.”

Her voice is a low growl, and you think she can’t possibly be talking to you. While your observations have led you to believe that there is a soft core to her brash outer exterior, there is little doubt in your mind that, much like the monster of a man, Kainé would slaughter you on sight. 

“Hurry up, I don’t have all fuckin’ night.” She stomps over to your bush, and you’re sure she can’t see you, but still she leans in and whispers, her voice both seductive and violent, “Or if you want, I can just end your miserable existence right damn here.”

Instinct takes over and you run out of the bush, away from her. 

“There you are, you little fucker,” she snorts. You back away slowly, as she straightens herself out. Kainé eyes you like a bug, one that she is about to crush beneath the heel of her shoe. You swallow thickly, unsure if you should try to run or not. The only thing you are sure of is that if you do run, you’re dead. 

“So, why’ve you been following us, huh?” Kainé demands, arms crossed over her chest, frowning. She must know that she could kill you in an instant, must know that you couldn’t lay a finger on her if you tried to attack her. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed a fucking shade like you lurking around us for weeks.”

Shade. That’s what they call you and your people. Shades— condemned to the shadows, unable to live peacefully with the humans, or, as the elders called them, the replicants… whatever that meant. You eye Kainé warily, wondering why she is asking you a question when it is known that humans can’t communicate with shades, can’t converse with them— if they could, then maybe the monster of a man would just be a man, his beautiful hands devoid of the blood of your friends, your neighbors… your mother. 

“Hey!” Kainé shouts. “I’m talking to you, the least you can do is answer.”

She’s right. Even if she can’t understand, she probably can hear the words from your Shade mouth. You take a deep breath and speak for what feels like the first time in an eternity. “...it’s because of… him.”

Your voice sounds so strange in your ears, a sound more foreign than silence itself. Kainé stares at you, scowling like she knows, like she can understand the Shade tongue with which you speak. It’s hard to tell, and you take one, two, three steps closer to look in her eyes, risking your life more and more with each forward step that you take. You’ve read that the eyes are the window to the soul, so maybe if you can see them clearly, you’ll be able to tell, to know, if she really, really understands.

Fortunately for you, Kainé doesn’t move, nor does she speak, but still you hear a voice— not hers, erupt in a manic fit of laughter from her body. Her scowl deepens, clearly annoyed, but it seems that it’s not directed at you. 

“How cute, the little shade has a crush!” the voice howls, mocking you.

Your face scrunches in bewilderment. The source of the voice… is Kainé herself, but she is clearly not speaking…  You shake your head. No, that’s not right. This isn’t a crush, this isn’t infatuation, it’s merely curiosity. “No… that’s not… that’s right. I’m just… I just…”

The laughter grows louder, more derisive, “Oh don’t fucking delude yourself. You’ve been stalking after us for how long? It’s frankly kinda gross if you ask me!”

Kainé mutters something under her breath that you can’t hear, presumably at the mysterious voice making a mockery of you. 

Your stomach churns violently, a grotesque concoction of fear and unease. He’s not wrong though. It is kind of gross how you’ve been following this group around like a pathetic puppy. Watching them at a distance, wanting to get closer, to satiate your curiosity, yet staying far away because that’s the only way you can coexist with the monster and his friends. 

You think of the monster, terrible and cruel in his extermination of your people, the Shades. You think of the man, gentle and kind as he tends to the flowers by his house. The images in your mind overlap. Terrible and gentle. Kind and cruel. The images blur. 

You can only see the smile he’s offered to his friends. 

It’s all you have left now, and you don’t know what to do with yourself.

You are not one of his friends, the image of his smile is something you’ve stolen, held in the shadows, kept like a treasure— a secret that should have never been yours.

In fact, it never was.

“Hey Kainé?” A third voice enters the fray and you feel as if you have been drenched in ice water, thrust into the icy depths of the ocean, your entire body freezing over. “You’ve been taking a while, Emil and I were—”

He stops short. You know it’s because he sees you. 

Don't go near it.

Don't, if you value your life.

Everything happens so fast, before you can run, before you can even blink. The spear that was affixed to his back is now in his hands, its tip embedded deep into your abdomen. The pain is mind shattering as it spreads throughout your body, like a wildfire in a forest. 

The monster is close, closer than he has ever been, than he ever will be, the view of his face clear, and unmarred by distance. He is devoid of expression as he draws even closer, plunging the spear impossibly deeper into your fracturing body. Rather than the pain, you focus what attention you have left on his face. 

It’s what you wanted, to get a better look at his face before meeting your inevitable end. 

But now that you’re here, you realize, regretfully, that you maybe want a little bit more. 

You want to live in another land, another time, another place, where you’re not just a Shade and you can have a happy ending. 

With what sense you have left, you focus on his eyes. They’re clear, and blue as the sky on a cloudless day. As your consciousness ebbs away, fading rapidly from existence, you distantly think that at least the last thing you get to see is breathtakingly beautiful. It would have been nice, if you had had longer to enjoy it.

You have nothing left.

You are nothing but a bloodstain on the monster’s spear. 

[alexaplaysgames]

Can you do Felix and Mc getting into a fight

My angst brain need some

You got it bb <3 Idk if this is really that much of a fight, but I couldn't make the MC too mean to Felix. Also, I’m aware this paints baby in a bad light. I had to make them fight about something okay :’( I don’t think he’d do this in canon.

Title: A bit Bitter

Pairing: Felix Escellun x GN!MC (Last Legacy)

Words: 2564

Tags: @demon-paradise @themohawkhelmet @cactus-hoodie @aomiyeon @piningmaybeanartist @another-confused-gay @uselessbeanies @nomnomcupcakesworld @druwuuwu @frozen-daydream @kirakiratears @margitartist @crowtrinkets @fanfic-about-fictif Please let me know if you would like to be added or removed.

“Tell me the truth, Felix.”

His gray eyes dart upwards from his textbooks as I storm into the room. When he sees what I hold clutched in my hands, he swallows, the bob of his throat visible even from the doorway.

I continue in a voice that is simultaneously weak and as strong as I can manage. “Is this really how you feel?”

“W-why do you have that, love?”

I frown. His nervousness sends guilt shooting through me, but I stamp it out. I’ve bent over backwards for months in an attempt to make him comfortable, and did so gladly. But this? I can only withstand so much.

I set the notebook down on the edge of his desk with a heavy thud. Felix winces.

“The things you wrote in here, about me…” I shake my head, then look away. I can feel my eyes sting, and I bite my tongue to hold back from crying. “Felix-“

“That’s private! You don’t have the right to go snooping through my possessions.”

I sigh. Yeah, I’m nosy and read his journal, and normally I would be ashamed. I shouldn’t have done it, but… “I don’t think that’s important right now.”

“Of course it’s important!” Felix gasps, standing out of his desk chair to snatch up the journal. He meets my eyes with a fragile sort of vulnerability, then pulls the journal defensively to his chest. “I’m not privy to every thought you have. You can’t judge me for mine.”

“I would never think these things of you!” My voice raises until it edges on a shout, and I frantically rush to reign it in. “I would never.”

“That’s not-“ Felix whispers with a shake of his head. “That’s not fair.”

“No. What’s not fair is this.” I reach forward and pull the leather journal from his hands, flipping forward a few weathered pages until I find what I’m looking for.

“‘Not nearly comparable to Rime’s beauty, nor do they possess his talent with magic. They’re candlelight to his radiant sun. I’ve quelled whatever feeling has stirred in my chest and decided that I won’t settle for them. Not while my love is still hurting. And I do miss him so.”

Felix is biting at his lip as I lower the book once more, his eyes watery, wide circles. “That’s old,” he chokes out. “I swear. I don’t feel that way. I love you.”

He looks like he wants to touch me, so I step away. I shake my head. “But you did feel that way.”

“I- why does it matter? That’s private. How- how much else have you read to convince yourself my feelings for you are disingenuous? You were never meant to see any of it.” He’s wrapped arms around his thin frame, now, squeezing his eyes shut as if he wishes this all would simply go away.

“I’ve read enough.”

Felix’s eyes go wide, then dart to the journal in my hand. “Why?” I ask. “Worried there’s something worse left for me to uncover?”

“N-no.” He runs his hand over his face. “Why couldn’t you stay out of my things? That was personal! It was none of your business!” Felix hisses the last words, as close to angry as I’ve ever seen him with me. His eyes are filled with tears, but his expression if one of a rage I’ve never been in the receiving end of.

“Fuck you,” I spit out, watching him hiccup as if the words were a physical blow. “You’re a liar, Felix.” Then I simply can’t help myself but to add, “Maybe you do deserve to be alone.”

I know as soon as I say it that I’ve gone too far, and the look on his face- fuck. I don’t know if I’ll ever get the broken, hurt expression that flashes across his features out of my head. Yes, the words he’d written in that journal had stung, but I don’t feel any satisfaction from hurting him just as badly. If anything, it makes me feel worse.

All I feel is lost. My psyche weighs heavy with guilt, as well as hatred for myself for letting my patience slip. Before it can all come crumbling down on me, I turn on my heel and rush out the door, slamming it behind me with an echo that rings much to hollow to make me feel any better.

✦✧✦✧

I had frantically stuffed my few belongings into a bag and rushed to the nearest inn, flopping onto a rickety bed and crying myself to exhaustion. That had been two days ago, now, and I haven’t spoken to Felix since.

On the bright side, sending drunk texts is much more difficult to do when one doesn’t possess a cellphone.

Each night my dreams are filled with memories of his face, his smile. I can feel him in my arms, see the distinct colour of his blush each time I call him “baby” or “my sweet”. I wonder if I was over-dramatic in my reaction, but then remember the words in that journal. To think, the passage I had read aloud had only been one of many.

No. I was right to be upset.

I keep wondering if maybe the things he wrote in there were true. Yet, it’s so confusing- Felix has always had the upmost respect for me. And he’s not exactly great at hiding his emotions.

I’ve met with Anisa and Sage, both of whom seemed relatively stunned at the news. Anisa had offered exercise as a way to take my mind off it, and Sage had offered… another form of physical activity altogether, which didn’t really surprise me.

“A fight? Really? You two have always seemed like such a sappy married couple…”

I sigh. “Thanks, Sage. Really. It wasn’t even a fight, to be honest.”

“Married couples do fight, Sage.” Anisa pats my hand. “Felix is just dramatic. It will be fine! Whatever he did, I’m sure he didn’t mean it. He just gets a little… jumbled up sometimes. But his intentions are pure. At least, I believe so. You can never tell with Felix.” She smiles. “Give him some time to mope and he’ll apologize.”

“If it helps,” Sage interjects, “he fought all the time with deer boy, and they were apparently a thing. I’m sure he’s used to it.”

I refrain from telling Sage that his oh-so-helpful comment is far from helpful; in fact, it highlights exactly what I’m worried about.

Tonight, thunder strikes outside in heavy, booming claps. The room I’ve rented is lowly lit by a single candle, but the flashes of lightning outside the window often light up the entire space. Rain pelts the roof and the wind howls mournfully, as if in empathy of my crushed spirit.

I’m just in the middle of pretending I’m in a sad music video when I hear an unsteady knock at the door. At first, I think it might be a tree branch outside, being as it’s so soft, but then I hear the sound again.

I fling the wool blankets over my head with a huff and shuffle towards the door, then unceremoniously fling it open.

I should have expected it would be my necromancer boyfriend looking like a drenched cat.

Felix is sopping wet, his hair plastered to his forehead and clothes so soaked I can see his tanned skin underneath. As soon as the door opens, his eyes go wide, and he immediately looks as if he’s attempting to say something, but he can’t seem to spit it out. His teeth are chattering so forcefully he can’t speak, and the wind has whipped the wet strands of hair into his mouth.

He is so stupid. I immediately can’t help but think that I love him. I am definitely morosexual.

I blink dazedly at him for a moment, before grabbing his elbows and hastily pulling him inside.

“I’m s-sorry,” he sobs as I grab a blanket off the bed and hastily wrap it around his shoulders. I can’t tell if he’s shaking from crying or the cold, can’t tell if the wetness on his face is from his tears or the rain. “I’m so sorry.”

“Felix, it’s fine. Come here, you’re going to get hypothermia.”

I grab a towel from the bathroom and begin using it to dry his hair. He shakes his head as he pushes it away, sending droplets of water flying. “No! Listen, please, I am sorry, I am. I wish to explain myself. You deserve that much, at least.”

I sigh, then stand back and nod. I sit down on the edge of the bed. The mattress groans, as do I. “Fine.”

Felix pauses as if he didn’t expect that answer.

Then he picks at the frayed strings of the blanket around him. He shivers as he tugs it tighter around his shoulders. He licks his lips. “I wasn’t in a good place when we met.”

I nod. It was obvious then, and it’s even more so now. “I know.”

“It wasn’t healthy. I know that it wasn’t, but-” he cuts off as the thunder outside rumbles, lightning illuminating the haunted look in his eyes. “I loved Rime. More than that, I obsessed over him.”

That much I had guessed, but the confirmation does still twist my stomach.

“I was still in love with him when we met. Desperately so. I clung to the very idea of him for years. Rime adored how I idolized him, he encouraged it-“ he looks out the window as if lost in thought, then sighs. “It wasn’t you. I would’ve compared anyone to him. I did.”

Felix sniffs, then delicately kneels at my feet. “I am so sorry. I promise I didn’t truly think those things, my dear. I just felt so guilty, every time I felt anything for you. I had made myself think that he was perfect, that I could enforce my love for him through some strange sort of self-discipline.” He cringes, as if he knows how awful that sounds. “It seemed reasonable. I owed him my life.”

Apparently having said what he needed, Felix goes quiet. His eyes are red-rimmed, dark circles underneath, as if he’s been crying instead of sleeping ever since I left him.

“You are so incredibly lovely,” he whispers, choking. “I could see it even then. I was scared of what it would do to me to admit it.”

I swallow. I’m honestly not sure whether to believe him, but the look in his eyes is so earnest. Felix is many things, but he’s not one to hide his feelings, nor is he a good actor. I know deep down that he’s not faking his love for me, despite how my heart convinced me otherwise.

“If- If you’re still angry with me, I understand,” Felix stammers, though the tears in his eyes make it seem like that isn’t true. “M-maybe I should leave-“

The rain pounds harder against the windows. The wind whistles through the surrounding cracks. I grab his wrist.

“Come here, my sweet.”

Felix’s eyes widen at my use of my pet name for him, a timid look of disbelief in his eyes as he takes my hand and allows me to pull him onto the bed. I lie down on my back and guide to lay against my chest.

“I forgive you.” I almost can’t believe the words myself, but I know that it’s the only option I could ever consider. I love him. It’s a simple as it is complex.

“You needn’t-“

“I do. It wasn’t right of you to say those things, but it was also unfair of me to get so angry with you over something you wrote a long time ago. I know your old relationship really took a toll on you. Besides, I said some awful things to you too, Felix,” I continue, reaching up to brush his bangs back from his forehead. He trembles, leaning slightly into my touch. “You don’t deserve to be alone. I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me, and I shouldn’t have. Okay?” I wait until he finally nods to continue. “And I’m sorry for going through your things. I betrayed your trust, and you were right to be upset.”

Felix goes a little slack-jawed before he finally breathes out, “O-of course I forgive you.”

“I’m glad, because I don’t think I could live without you.”

He stares at me for a moment longer before he lurches forward and kisses me, desperate and wanting, full to the brim with both apology and forgiveness. It tastes if the salt of his tears and the cold rainwater that runs over his cheeks. He’s shaking the whole time, and I tug him tighter to my chest. I can feel his heart racing through the fabric of our clothes.

“I love you, sweet.”

“I love you too,” Felix hiccups, “so much.”

We spend a bit longer like that, tangled up in the bedsheets with Felix soaking through both our clothes. Eventually, I pull back.

“Did you really wait until it was storming to show up and apologize?”

A sheepish laugh as he flushes. “I had t-thought it would be romantic. Like in my novels. I didn’t realize it was pouring quite so hard.”

His cheeks are a flaming red and he looks away like he expects me to be upset. I sigh to hide my fond smile. All I can do is kiss him again.

“I’ve brought you something,” Felix murmurs, his lips so close to mine that they brush, his eyelashes wet against my cheeks. He reaches back and takes the leather notebook, the stupid source of all our fighting, out of his coat pocket. It’s surprisingly dry.

I can’t help but want to smack that stupid book out of his hand. “Felix, why would you do that?”

He rolls his eyes, then gets up and stands off to the side of the bed. The room lights up green as his entire hand, the journal with it, are suddenly engulfed in flames, until nothing but ashes sift through his fingertips, drifting down to settle against the wooden floor.

“You’re my future.”

He’s so dramatic. I love him to pieces.

I grab his waist and all but tackle him back onto the bed, delighting in his surprised squeak.

“Stop!” Felix yelps as he falls back against the mattress, only to be assaulted by my cuddles, “I’m positively soaked; I’ll drench the sheets.”

I can’t really say that I care. We have a lot of making up to do; I’m not spending a second without him by my side for the rest of the night. Felix grumbles a final complaint and then sighs. He wraps his arms around me and presses his cheek into my chest, and I can’t help but think he feels the same.

“I didn’t enjoy that,” he mumbles, turning his face into me to hide his expression. “Being apart from you, it- hurt. I missed you.”

“I missed you too, baby.” I’m just realizing how much. His scent and the feel of his hair against my skin, his voice. He’s invaded my senses once more, and it feels like coming back to life.

He turns to look up at me. His cheeks are rosy and his hair mussed, droplets of water clinging to his eyelashes and temples. God, he’s so adorable- I don’t know how I could ever stand to be angry with him. “I don’t want to be at odds with you anymore. I love you too much.”

I boop his perfect nose. “Deal.”

[dontcallmecarrie]

screw it, this “too many options that all sound appealing” thing is really messing with my rhythm so here, outlines for Endings 1-3. Major spoilers inbound, read at your own risk.

Ending 1: Stay With The Original Plan

canon ensues on Loki’s side, aka he falls right into Thanos’ clutches. [Un]fortunately for him, Thanos is even more pissy than in canon, since ‘his love’ is MIA and he’s hyperfocused on assembling the Infinity Gauntlet under the belief that this’ll be what finally gets her to say yes

somewhere in here, Loki realizes that this is the purple bastard Hela kept telling him about. Just to make this entire experience even more hellish, because having to listen to Thanos talk is more torture than the torture. 

optional, probably won't write: at some point, Thanos asks Loki for dating advice. Which’d go about as well as expected.

Meanwhile, Asgard, Earth, and just about everywhere in between has their hands full now that Helheim is empty and all of its demons are having a field day.

somewhere during the chaos, Fenrir breaks his binds and steals the Aether on the way out. 

cue potential alternate antagonist to make the Avengers assemble. Surtur, perhaps, for maximum irony because...

Jörmungandr wakes up just in time to see Hela bust out of Helheim, and immediately invites her to come with him. Fenrir joins the club when he gets out, too, and cue minor time skip as they all catch up and help each other reacclimatize to living outside of a glorified prison/the modern world. 

okay, from here, there’s two further endings I’d be having to pick between.

Option A:

shit goes down when Loki shows up.

The Avengers assemble, and get not one, not two, but five Asgardians crashing the party on the Helicarrier.

turns out one of them’s an ancient sorcerer who’s been camping out on Earth over the past thousand years and influencing some of their myths. Somehow, this isn’t the weirdest part.

a lot of dirty laundry gets aired in a very short period of time, aka the Avengers get a front-row seat to the shitshow that is the Asgardian royal family and Thor’s respect for his father tanks. 

The local sorcerer is the one who figures out Loki’s being mind-controlled, and Hela is royally pissed off when she finds out who’s responsible. 

well, actually, that’s not entirely accurate: when they find out Loki’s condition, nobody takes it well, and since some of the people in the room were basically used as living weapons for the better part of a millennia, well...

RIP, Thanos. 

[insert family reunion and happy ending here, probably]

Option B: 

[insert antagonist name here] shows up, Avengers assemble.

Cue confusion when an alien trio beats them to the punch, feat. a fuck-off huge wolf, a goth chick who keeps throwing swords [seriously, where is she even getting them from?], and a honest-to-goodness wizard. 

Cue even more confusion when Thor recognizes them as Loki’s friends, and then a lot of stuff goes down very fast when he finds out that they’re famous on Earth— because they’re prophesied to bring about Ragnarok, the fall of Asgard. 

[insert drama here]

Fenrir, Hela, and Jörmungandr quasi-joining the Avengers? Not as impossible as it sounds. 

Thanos shows up looking for the Infinity Stones. Hela oneshots him, and maybe brings him back to life just to kill him again when they find out what he did to Loki.

cue happy ending.

Ending 2: All The Angst And Dramatic Irony [feat. Major Character Death]

this one’d make it all a tragedy, and I hate making myself sad and also I didn’t tag for major character death, so that’s already two strikes against it but my brain can’t let it go so here goes:

Loki died when he fell from the Bifrost. 

Hela and Jörmungandr don’t know this, and don’t have much to compare notes because Jör last saw him when he fled and Hela’s last conversation was right before Thor’s coronation. However, they are aware that Loki succeeded in his mission of getting Hela free, and they know how happy Odin would’ve been when it happened— they’re operating under the assumption that he’s been imprisoned for treason, and gearing up to invade Asgard for the sole purpose of getting him out. 

The events of the first Avengers movie doesn’t happen/gets skipped.

Fenrir breaks out during the Convergence, scaring the crap out of Jane Foster and taking the Aether with him. 

The group has a reunion, and then all eyes turn to Asgard. 

Chaos ensues when the Dark Elves’ invasion is interrupted by a separate, entirely unrelated attack that somehow manages to do even more damage.

and incidentally end up fulfilling the prophecy along the way, because they have a bone to pick with Odin and everyone who helped him

Cue angst and sadness when the truth about Loki comes out. Because Thor enters the fight, and Fenrir/Hela/Jörmungandr would inevitably ask “where’s your brother?” and then out comes the story of what happened on the Bifrost

...and because I made myself sad, here, have an alternate ending:

Hela and the others categorically refuse to accept he died, and keep looking. 

Jörmungandr in particular points out that the Bifrost can result in wonky time-space shenanigans if not monitored closely, and considering the circumstances in which he fell, well...

Fenrir goes to town on Sakaar when they find Loki.

cue tearful reunion and happy ending.

Ending 3: CHAOS [the fun one that I’m honestly leaning towards]

aka taking all of MCU canon that I remember, and sticking it in a blender because timeline fuckery abounds and absolute no one knows wtf is going on anymore. 

Taking full advantage of the “Bifrost can result in accidental time travel” thing, and the fact that Thanos is distracted looking for Hela and the Infinity Stones which in turn affects when the events of the first Avengers movie happens, well...

after Loki falls, cue minor timeskip because of Reasons. Hela and Jörmungandr get the chance to start recovering from the whole “living on the run/being forced into this position” thing, and also start looking

then a lot of stuff goes down very very fast.

Loki shows up in Germany, catching the attention of not only the Avengers, but Hela and Jörmungandr. 

...the alien god talking about subjugation should’ve been the guy getting all the headlines, had it not been for the gigantic glowing wolf that showed up halfway through his speech. Or the aliens that followed him from gods-knew-where.

aka Fenrir breaks out during the Convergence, and the Dark Elves really, really, really want the Aether.

aka yes, this is the one where the events first Avengers movie and Thor: The Dark World happen concurrently.

SHIELD has their hands full, Erik Selvig and Jane Foster are working overtime to figure out wtf is going on, and Thor is less than helpful because all of other aliens can and will attack him on sight. 

Thor tries to drag Loki into custody.

Loki gets kidnapped on the way. By a wizard, because why the fuck not, things were already weird enough as is. 

Tracking down said wizard is an exercise in futility, but damn if they don’t try anyway. 

Having Clint Barton and his associates get portalled in with an honest-to-goodness apology note? Sure, just add it onto the pile. 

Everyone in SHIELD is confused, anyone who knows their myths has just been screaming this entire time because there’s also been sightings of an enormous snake in the oceans [Jörmungandr’s defense system was working overtime, sue him], and things just keep escalating.

Eventually there’s a team-up, and then a human wizard shows up too? Saying something about how their duty was to safeguard the Earth from extradimensional threats and obviously SHIELD was doing a shit job of it? Fine. Just...fine.

hi, Stephen Strange

aka the Avengers assemble and there’s more of them because all hands on deck

[insert snappy dialogue and interactions here]

Hela when she finds out what Thanos is up to: (ง'̀-'́)ง

[insert cinematic fight scene with all the drama and irony and Norse mythology references]

cue happy ending

[star-mum]

LIVE REACTION TO NIGHTMARE TIME EP 1

Idk if anyone would even be interested in reading this but as I was watching the show last night I kept writing down my reactions on my notes so here we are

*this is all in caps idk why just roll with it*

THE OPENING SONG IS SUCH A BOP OMG NICK LANG HIMSELF ?????? MONSTER FUCKER RIGHTS ???? HIDGENS ENTRANCE HOW ICONIC "LUCY IS HAVING NONE OF IT" I LOVE THAT OMG JOEY PLAYING KONK (?) IS SUCH A POWER MOVE I LOVE THAT THE BEGGINING IS JUST TARZAN FANFIC SKSKSKSKS MARIAH IS TEXTING JOHN (?) AND HES LAUGHING SM WE LOVE A COMEDY QUEEN I LOVE THEM USING THE ZOOM BACKGROUNDS SKSKSKS KONK IS AWFULLY CLOSE TO COCK AND I THINK ITS ON PURPOSE ?? SPECIALLY WITH THE LAG I HAD TO DO A DOUBLE TAKE SOMETIMES SKSKSKS SOMEONE JUST SAID "TED'S ORIGIN STORY" ON CHAT AND I LOST IT !!!!! COULD YOU IMAGINE ???? HANDSOME LADY ? I MEAN SURE TIGHT JOHN IS LOSING IT FUCK MAN, SAME CURT OMG THAT ACCENT OOOOOOOOHHHH BOY I KNEW IT WAS HER FIANCEE SHIIIIT WE CANNOT TRUST HIM I KNOW THIS !!! "ENTAGLED" SKSKS WHAT SIR HES GAY CHILL OUT WHATS THE YEAR, IT FEELS SO OLD TIMEY "I'D SAY YOU HAD FEELINGS FOR THIS APEMAN" OOOOOOOHHHH DONT U SAY JONATHAN IS A PUSSY BITCH I CAN TELL LUCY JUST DROP IT OH SHE ACTUALLY DID ????? FUCK IT UP BABE

(I JUST ACIDENTALY DELETE HALF OF WHAT I WROTE SHIT, ILL HAVE TO REWRITE IT FROM MEMORY) WHAT THE FUCK THEY WERE TRICKING US??? THEY CALLED IT, WHAAAAAAAAT WDYM "PLAY THE PROFESSOR" IS HE NOT A PROFESSOR WHAT ALTERNATE REALITY IS THIS I NEED TO KNOW

ARE THEY GONNA FUCKING KILL HIM WHAT??? SINGING LONDON BRIDGE WHILE CHASING SOMEONE IS MY FAV SCARY TROP HAHAHHA YEEEEESSS "TOOK OFF WDYM" GIRL HE IS HOLDING A GUN WHAT DO YOU THINK "WDYM" WHY DID HE KEEP THE KONK ACT AFTER LUCY LEFT SKSKSKSKS TED WTF SKSKSKS "I DO SOME OF MY BEST THINKING WHEN IM ERECT" HAHAHAHA TED LIKES TO BE A HIMBO THATS GREAT IS HE GOING TO KILL TED ?? AAAAAAAHHHHHH TED HE HAS A GUN PLZ DONT TEST HIM HE HAS ALREADY KILLED A MAN OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH FUUUUUUUUCK RECAST???? WHO IS TAKING TED'S ROLE ????? OH SO ITS NOT OLD TIMEY AFTER ALL RED SOMETHING???? OH TED'S GONNA PROPOSE IS SHE GONNA SAY NO? SHES GONNA SAY NO RIGHT ? FUUUUUUUUCK HAHAHHAHA WHY IS HE NAKED ??? JAHAHHAHA WHAT WHAT IS HAPPENING TED WHAT ? "PROFESSOR SHOULD GO FUCK HIMSELF" HAHAHAHA PORNHUB PREMIUM ACCOUNT HAHAHAH "OOOoooOOoOoOoOoOohhHhhHh BUT IT IS" FUCK NO DONT KILL HER OOOOOOOOOHHHH TED'S DEAD SHIT OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH ROBERT'S ACTING IS *CHEF'S KISS* DAMN OH SHIT TED *NOW* TED IS DEAD FUCK HIDGENS IS HERE NOOOOOOOOOOO IS HE GONNA KILL HER ??? OH SHIT OH FUCK LUCY'S CAUGHT IN  A BEAR TRAP WHY ARE PPL SAYING WORKING BOYS IN THE CHAT ??? OH THATS WHY !!!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHH MINE IS A LITTLE BEHIND IS SHE BROKE ??????? OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHA I KNEW IT HIDGENS GOT PLAYED THATS ON YOU BUDDY OH FUCK HIM UP LUCY ! BECKY BARNES ????? HATCHFIELD LORE ???? WAS SHE RUNNING AWAY FROM HIS HUSBAND IS THAT WHY SHE CLIMBED A TREE APE MAN SHOW UP PLZ WHO IS IT THO ?????? JEFF HELL YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK JESUS CHRIST APE MAN YEEEEAAAHHH WOOLY FOOT ?????? IS IT CHUMBY???? OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH HAHAHA YEEEEAAHHH HOW DID HIDGENS KNOW ????? OH IS IT OVER ?????? NOOOOOOOOOOOO I WANTED MORE ;-----; THIS WAS SO GOOD THO OOOHHH FUCK ANOTHER MUSIC NUMBER JAMIE YOU LOOK AMAZING !!!!!!!!!! I CANT WAIT FOR THESE SONGS TO BE AVAILABLR FOR US (IN LIKE 3 YEARS CAUSE IM BROKE SKSKSKSK) HE DANCES THE CAN CAN ?????? OKAY I SKIPPED A BIT TO BE ON TIME WITH EVERYBODY "ARE YOU FUCKKING HIGH????" YEEEEEEEEEAH PART 2 BABEY !!!!! NICK'S HAIR LOOKS AMAZING OMG OH ???????? BILL AND ALICE !!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD I MISSED THEM !!!!!!!!! OH THE TEEN ANGST I LOVE BILL SM HE'S SUCH A GOOD DAD DEB ????WHY WOULD U HURT BABY ALICE LIKE THIS ???? "I MIGHT NEVER SEE DEB AGAIN" GOD ALICE CHILL OUT LET HER BE A PLAY WRITER BILL CMON "MY BUDDY PAUL" AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH BLINKY ??? I DONT TRUST THAT AT ALL FUCK NO JOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHNNNN I DONT TRUST HES CHARACTER THO OOOOHHH LOVE DISCOUNTS I DIDNT LIKE THE WORKER CALLING HER PRINCESS THO, SHES BILL'S DAUGHTER NOT YOURS OOOOOOHHHHHH NO OH NONONONOONO BILL IS GOING TO DIE I JUST KNOW IT BLINKY IS EVIL I CAN FEEL IT ALICE NO NO LITTERING WHORE JAMES !!!!!!!!!! ALICE IS ALSO GOING TO DIE MAYBE RIGHT NOW WHO KNOWS BLNKY WTF SHE IS A MINOR WTF AAAAAH I DONT LIKE IT HERE JAMES ILY BUT THIS CHARACTER IS CREEPY AS SHIT I DONT LIKE IT HAHAHAH TIGHT LOVE THEME PARK STUPID SHIRTS "I DIDNT KNOW YOU WERE FUNNY" HAHAHAHAH DROWSY TOWN ? THE CHAT PULLED MY ATTENTION TO THAT BUT I DONT GET WHY ? IS THIS BAD "I'D FOLLOW YOU ANYWHERE" THIS IS SUCH A DAD THING TO SAY OH ALICE CMON DONT SAY THAT BILL CUT IT OUT WITH DECIDING YOUR KIDS FUTURE THATS NOT FUN OH GOD I DONT TRUST THAT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NO NO NO NO "AHOY BOYS AND GIRLS" NO NONONONONO UNCLE WILEY FUCK OFF THE SNIGGLES NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUUUUUUUUUCK NOOOOO AHHHHHHHHHHHHH "WE'RE THE SNIGGLES DONT BE SCARED" YOU KNOW WHAT SNIGGLES I AM SCARED BUT HELL YEAH SONG TIME OOOOOOOHHH FUCK IT UP JAMES OH ARE THEY GONNA LIKE GIVE THE AUDIENCE A SLEEP INDUCING DRUG OR SOMETHING ??????? "DONT BLINK" AHAHAHA I DONT TRUST THAT AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH "GREAT WE'RE DEAD" HAHAHAH THE SONG WAS A BOP THO "WHAT ARE THE SNIGGLES?" GREAT QUESTION ALICE "NOW U KNOW HOW I FELT WHEN I HAD TO SEAT THROUGH DEH" HAHHAHAHA "SEE U IN A SNIG" HAHAHA SNIGGLETTE ???U OKAY BBY??? OOOOOOOOHHH MORE SONGS HELL YEAH I LOVE ANGELA'S VOICE SM THE SNIGGLE PUNS ARE KINDA CONFUSING ME NGL WHY WAS THAT SO SAD OMG OOOOOOOH SHIT OH FUCK THEYRE GONNA KILL HER I JUST KNOW IT OMG "PRAISE THE WATCHER" OH MY GOD PLZ DONT KILL HER "UNTIL HE'S SEEN EVERYTHING" W H A T LAUREN'S VOICE SKSKSK SO CUTE PAPA SNIGGLE I DO NOT TRUST YOU THOSE ARE ALIVE ARENT THEY ????? OH FUCK SNIGGLETTE IS SHE OKAY ????????? "ANGELA R U ALRIGYT" WHAT "SHUT UP JEFF" OH MY GOD I DONT LIKE WHEN THEYRE SELF AWARE SKSKSKSK " U CAN SHUT THE HELL UP LAUREN" HAHAHAHA BILL OMG HE'S SUCH A DAD HAHAHAHAH ALICE IS SO NICE DO THEY NOT KNOW "ARON AROOON" HAHHAHA OH CHURROS I LOVE THOSE THE GIRL SHE DOESNT LIKE ?????? OH NON BINARY RIGHTS LOVE IT "IS THIS A FRIEND OF ZIGS" OH LOVE RESPECTFUL DAD DEB NOT COOL OH ALICE SHIT ALICE BBY IF SHES CHEATING ON YOU THATS NOT ON UR DAD STOP SHITTING ON HIM LIKE THIS "ITS UR MOTHERS FAULT" OH MY GOD HAHAHHAHA GREG AND ALISON ? AND BETH ?? DOES BETH LIKE HER ????OH NOOOOOO GREG NO U SHITTY SON OF A BITCH GOD FUCKING PUNCH HIM OH  NO HAHAHA FUCK NO THEYRE ALL POSESSED ARENT THEY THATS THE TEEN FROM THE MOVIE THEATER HAHAHHA "it lagged ;-; now we wait" A MAN IN A HURRY HAHAHAHHA OH SHIT BILL IS MAD IS HE POSESSED TOO ??????? OH SHIT WHATS HAPPENING BLINKY ????????? OH NO OH NO SHES GONNA HAVE A PANIC ATTACK THEYRE GONNA BE FINE RIGTH ??????? RIGHT ???? BREATHING EXERCISES BABY CMON OH NO PLZ DONT DO ANYTHING STUPID BILL NOOOOOOOOOOO BILL PLZ DONT DIE AGAIN I LOVE YOU SM PUT UR SEATBELT BACK ON PLZ NOOOOOOOOO OH THEYRE BOTH GOING TO FALL ARENT THEY OH NO OH MY GOD OH SHIT PHONE IS BROKEN OOPS AWN IM GONNA CRY PLZ LET THEM SURVIVE I BEG YOU NICK LANG OOOOOOOOH TWILIGHT BUT GAY I AM *HERE* FOR IT OOOOOH THANK GOD THEYRE SAFE THANK YOU NICK LANG BILL YOURE SUCH A GOOD DAD OH GOD SHIT ALICE CHILL OUT ITS JUST A PHONE BABE "SHE KNOWS IM WATCHING HER" I DONT TRUST THAT IS *SHE* POSESSED OR IS THIS JUST TEEN ANGST ALICE UR DAD IS TRYING HIS BEST PLZ CUT HIM SOME SLACK OH MARIAH TURNED HER CAMERA OFF OH DEAR GOD WHAT DOES THAT MEAN HAHAH I LOVE LIVE BLOOPS OH MY GOD BLINKY IS TERRIFYING FUCK NO DO NOT GET THAT WIGGLY JUNIOR BILL DONT HOW ??????? OH MARIAH IS BACK WHAT DOES THIS MEAN ??????? WHY CANT BILL GET THE MALLET THING DONT TAKE IT YES SMART LAUREN ? SKSKKSS WHAT MADAM IRIS I DO NOT TRUST YOU WHAT ?????? IS THAT ALICE'S PHONE ???? BILL DONT GET SCAMMED OH ITS AN ALL SEEING IPHONE ALICE CHILL PLZ IS HE GONNA DIE ????? PLZ NICK DONT DO THAT ALICE DONT DONT KILL UR DAD 49.95 AGAIN BILL PLZ TRY ANOTHER GAME JAMES DAMN THATS RUTHLESS BILL WHAT AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH IS THAT REAL ???????? IT CANT BE ??????? OH ITS NOT REAL ARE THEY MAKING THEM HATE THEIR FAMILIES AND KILL EACH OTHER ?? A TENDER KISS ON THE CHEEK FROM A DEMON HOW NICE GUYS PLZ JUST GO TO THERAPY I BEG U WHAT ARE U GONNA DO BILL? KICK HER HEAD ??????? (SORRY I HAD TO) BLINKY'S FUNHOUSE THAT SOUNDS WARM AND COMFORTING THIS IS LIKE THE OPPOSITE OF NOT UR SEED FIGHTING IN THE MIRROR PART OF A FUN HOUSE IS ALWAYS A GOOD HORROR MOVIE TROPE OH FUCK ARE THEY GONNA WAKE UP OH FUCK PLZ WAKE UP ESCAPE THIS ALIVE YEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH OH SHES GONNA SHOOT HIM ISNT SHE ????? SHES GONNA SHOOT HIM I JUST KNOW IT HES AWAKE SHES NOT IS BLINKY GONNA KILL THEM ?? OOOOOOOOHHHHHH FUCK I KNEW IT OH HELL YEAH ALICE FUCK IT UP ARE THEY GONNA DROW ?? OH NO OKAY DID THEY SURVIVE ???? IS SHARED TRAUMA GONNA SAVE THEIR RELATIONSHIP SKSKSKKS THEY SURVIVED !!!!!!!!! THANK YOU NICK LANG (AGAIN) WAIT HOW DID SHE GET HER PHONE BACK ? OH MADAM IRIS DID GIVE HER PHONE BACK AWWNNNNNNNN ALICE THIS ONE HAD A HAPPY ENDING YAY WELL IG THE OTHER DID TOO BUT NOT FOR THE CHARACTERS WE KNEW

THIS WAS SO GOOD I LOVER STAKID !!!!!!!!!!! I JUST WISHED I WASNT BROKE SO I COULD PAY FOR THE NEXT ONES KSKSKSKSK WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU GUYS TO DO YOUR REACTIONS FOR THE NEXT ONES !!!

I HEARD GREG AND IT WAS CRAIG SKSKKSSK OOPS

*from this part on is reactions from after the show when starkid was answering questions from the chat*

YEEAAH VOTE FOR BIDEN HELL YEAH STARKID

"THE WITCH IN THE WEB" WEBBY ???????? DO WE GET TO SEE HANNAH AGAIN ?????

A THEORY ON TUMBLR FROM REDDIT ON A INSTAGRAM ACC ON YT OH MY GOD SKSKSKSKKS

THE STORIES ARE CANON !!!!!!!!! THEORIES LETS GO GANG

STARKID FANS WHO CAN DONATE TO STARKID PLZ DO I WISH I COULD DONATE TO THESE TALENTED PPL G O D

I WAS CORRECT IT WAS KONK WITH A K

NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE YES!!!!!! WORKING BOYS !!!!

"NICK LANG IS A BOSS"

MARIAH: SAYS FUCK AS ALICE ALSO MARIAH: GEEKED THE *FREAKED* OUT

TIP JAR HAS BEEN OUT FOR 11 YEARS HELL YEAH

HOW TF DO YOU SPELL ZIGGS BTW

OOOHHH THEYRE FAKE THAT MAKES SENSE OK NOT FAKE COMFIRMED BUT PROBABLY FAKE LETS HOPE DEB DIDNT ACTUALLY CHEAT

"WELL I WAS BORN IN 1989" HAHAHAHA

BECKY CLIMBED WHILE RUNNING FROM HER HUSBAND I FEEL LIKE THATS WHAT THATS ABOUT

OH GOODIE I GET TO WATCH THEM LATER IDK WHEN BUT AT LEAST IK SOMEDAY

BLINKY VS WIGGLY

OH CMON NICK I WANTED TO KNOW ;-;

THIS WAS SO NICE I MISSED THEM ;-;

[izukillme-moved]

When Armour Breaks

@watcher-ofthe-sky guess who was your secret santa? ;) MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU WONDERFUL BEAUTIFUL PERSON!! I LOVE YOU!!!! When I got the assignment, I have to admit I spent nearly fifteen minutes just freaking out because I was so happy I got you :33 I loved writing every bit of this, and I hope you enjoy it! May you have the most wonderful year ahead, I love you so much, Sky. Your talent, kindness and limitless capacity to love always stuns me; you are truly one of the most fantastic people I’ve ever had the honour of meeting. <3

Title: When Armour Breaks Ship: Kagura x Erza Genre: Angst/Hurt/Comfort Word count: 2302

Erza Scarlet is used to responsibility.

She knows well the feeling of being looked to for leadership and for power. She is used to stepping up when no one else will and protecting those who cannot protect themselves. She is the face of Fairy Tail, the impassable Titania, the Queen of the Fairies. Her shoulders have borne the weight of duty for so long now that it is odd, almost, to step back and allow another to take the lead.

In short, Erza is no stranger to projecting bravery and strength.

But sometimes, it becomes too much for even her iron heart. Because that iron heart is all fragmented on the inside, ugly little shards of bent steel that sit rusting in the darkness that lives within Erza. Some days she has trouble getting out of bed, barely able to breathe, as if all the broken parts of her heart are clogging up her trachea and cutting into her windpipe.

Today is one of those days.

Erza swallows against the pain in her chest and forces her body out of the bed that’s too large for just one, moving sluggishly to the bathroom. The woman she sees in the mirror has dull and lifeless brown eyes, frizzy red hair that jumps out all over the place and a wan, pinched face that speaks of years of pain. It makes Erza recoil a little, seeing the harsh truth reflected back at her so starkly.

The ache in her heart builds, and suddenly she wants… well, she doesn’t know what she wants. Only that she wants – needs – a reprieve from this wounded, broken girl she refuses to let heal.

There is no time for healing, Erza tries to tell herself, summoning the stern Titania of Fairy Tail. She needs to be strong for her guild mates and for the rest of the world, because they depend on her. And yet, the image of Fairy Tail’s strongest Mage fails, replaced by the wretched young woman with eyes that have seen too much.

Erza wants to retch. She wants to run away from the mirror, wants to bring Titania back out and put Inner Erza back where she belongs, inside the iron cage that is her heart. But she doesn’t do either of those things, because exhaustion chooses that exact moment to begin gnawing at her soul and weakening her at the knees.

Maybe she will just go back to bed today, she thinks in a sudden and uncharacteristic flash of weakness. The guild will not collapse in on itself if she is absent for a single day.

Well, it might, but that’s a problem she can fix. Just… not today. Erza doesn’t think she can fix anything today.

She drags herself back to her warm and soft bed, the task itself taking an enormous amount of effort. Then she flops down onto the surface, cheeks fevered with equal parts frenzy and fatigue, and stares at the ceiling. Some of the plaster is cracking off of it, she notices. A self-deprecating chuckle passes her lips as her tired mind compares the plaster to herself.

“You’re tired of being strong, too, huh?” she asks sadly.

She receives no answer, of course. Sighing, Erza rolls over so she’s lying on her front, and buries her face in the pillow. An odd hollowness settles in her stomach, and her chest is heavy with weariness. At the same time she feels like the rusted pieces of her heart are tearing her apart from the inside out, and the pain is almost too much to bear. It’s an odd juxtaposition, pain and the lack of it. And yet both are equally hurtful, ripping Erza into little pieces that she’s too tired to put back together.

I can’t do this anymore, Erza thinks, and is surprised at the raw honesty in the thought. I’m so tired… so tired of being the rock…

Why do I have to be strong for everyone else?

They’ll break if she breaks, Erza knows. She is the strong one, the one who leads, the one who takes on the most challenges and comes out on top. She is infallible Erza Scarlet, who cannot afford to snap because she is the symbol of everyone’s hope.

And yet even infallible Erza Scarlet is riddled with cracks that widen every minute, weakening her stone foundation. She is a broken woman pretending to be powerful, pretending to have won the fight against her inner demons when in reality she threw in the towel long ago.

A knock resounds throughout Erza’s apartment, and she stiffens, stomach tightening with panic.

What if something’s happened?! Oh, God, I never should have taken the day off – I should have gone – this is all my fault!

She springs out of bed in an instant, fear fuelling her flight to the door. She throws it open, chest heaving with worry as she stares at the visitor.

Kagura Mikazuchi stands there, cool as a cucumber, dressed in a  casual turtleneck and blue jeans, a far cry from her usual formal coats. Her sword, Archenemy, still hangs sheathed at her hip, of course – Erza wouldn’t expect anything less. She’s carrying a large white bag, whose contents are obscured from Erza’s eyes.

“May I come in?” Kagura asks politely, straight and to the point like always. Erza’s mouth opens, but no words come out. She simply nods and steps aside to allow Kagura in, speechless in her shock.

“I – what are you doing here?” she manages to croak out as Kagura walks into her home, stopping awkwardly in the middle of the hall and looking around.

Kagura turns to her. “May I put this on your table?” she asks respectfully, avoiding the question.

“Yes, yes, put it wherever, answer my question first!” Erza snaps. Kagura remains silent, moving slowly and robotically to place her bag on the dining table.

Then she looks up, connecting hers and Erza’s gazes, and says in a soft, mildly embarrassed tone, “I was passing through town and dropped by the guild to visit you. I was informed however that you were absent, and the shirtless one said that it might be ‘one of your days’ - whatever that meant, I didn’t think it sounded good by his facial expression, so I… er… procured your address-” Erza has to stifle a snort at the delicate way Kagura says ‘procure’, implying exactly how much delicacy she’d exercised in the process, “-and came here to check how you were. No one should be alone on Christmas Day.”

A sudden and uncomfortable silence falls over the two of them, then, both having run out of things to say. Kagura shifts in place, clearly self-conscious, and Erza just stands there in her dishevelled night-pants with her hair askew and feels the tiredness crawl its way back up her spine. She doesn’t realise that her knees have given out until warm arms wrap around her waist and pull her upwards to lean against a supple but firm body. 

A furious blush colours Erza’s cheeks as she realises she’s putting most, if not all, of her weight on Kagura, who had moved almost too swiftly to catch her. 

“I-” she stammers, jerking away and forcing strength into her legs, willing herself to stand strong just that little bit longer. She can’t let someone like Kagura see how weak she truly is; she simply can’t. She has to project Titania, just a little longer.

But Kagura is already shaking her head, eyes alert and worried. “You don’t seem all right. Will you be able to make your way to the bedroom? But no… I can’t let you do that.”

Before Erza can protest, Kagura’s powerful arms are slipping around her waist once more, and then she feels air against her bare soles instead of ground because holy shit, Kagura’s got her in a bridal lift and is carrying her towards her bedroom.

Erza flails weakly, but Kagura’s stern gaze saps what little energy she has left, and she can’t even summon the strength to protest as the other Mage deposits her neatly on her large bed. She lies there limp and still, not even bothering to straighten her legs or shift into a more comfortable position.

Erza is so tired, too tired to care anymore. Too tired to even care about the fact that all her weakest points are on full display to a Mage who looks up to her more than anyone ever has.

But Kagura does not comment. She merely shifts Erza’s limbs into their proper positions and drapes the coverlets over her with surprising gentleness. Then she takes off her shoes and lies down on the bed next to Erza, turning on her side to face her. 

Kagura’s precise perfection is so at odds with the mess that Erza is right now, and yet she fits, somehow, as if she was always meant to be there.

“Are you well?” she asks Erza, and the inflection of her tone carries understanding and the same bitter taste of responsibility that Erza knows all too well. Kagura is not asking if she is sick, not really.

“I’m tired,” Erza says, a soft and sad sound that escapes her lips like the last breath of life leaving her chest. It’s a confession she’s never made to anybody, and the tense, anticipatory wait for Kagura’s response is almost too much to bear. 

“I understand,” Kagura says softly. There’s a familiar pain in her voice as she speaks, and just for a moment one can feel a fleeting touch of hollowness inside the iron goddess that Kagura is.

The wildly unexpected reply sends chills up Erza’s spine, chills of shock and realisation that maybe, maybe she isn’t alone in this after all. 

“Y - you do?” she asks softly, afraid that if she says it too loud something will shatter, turning on her side to face Kagura. 

A short bob of the chin in response. “You’re their strength,” Kagura replies just as quietly. “You are their light in the darkness. But even a candle can only burn for so long.”

Erza’s eyes brim with tears, and she presses her lips together.

You understand. I’m not alone.

“Sometimes, it’s all you can do to stay together and keep your composure. It feels like you’re trying to hold a broken glass together and it just goes on breaking in your hands until you’re left with useless shards and cuts all over your palms,” Kagura continues, her own eyes shimmering and voice trembling with emotion. “It’s so hard, Erza… and you are so brave.”

Erza sniffles. “I’m not,” she says in a choked voice, the tears spilling over. Through her blurry vision she sees Kagura’s mouth turn up in a sad smile.

“Yes, you are,” Kagura says and wipes her tears with warm and gentle hands. She pulls Erza into a hug, holding her against her shoulder, and murmurs, “It’s all right. You don’t have to be strong for me.”

That sentence is what breaks the dam. 

You don’t have to be strong for me.

For once in her life, she does not have to be strong for someone. For once in her life, they will be strong for her.

Erza bursts into sobs, loud cries of agony and pain, letting all of it out as Kagura cradles her. She weeps for what feels like days, reliving all the pain that has her so torn up on the inside, allowing herself to truly grieve. 

When the tears dry up, Erza pulls away from the embrace, snuffling a little still. 

“Oh,” she says in a thick tone, voice hoarse from crying. “I got your shirt all messy.”

Kagura smiles. “It’s all right,” she says. “That’s what I’m here for.” 

Erza nods, too exhausted to do anything but accept Kagura’s kindness.

“Thank you,” she whispers. It’s gratitude for more than just letting her cry - not in all her years has Erza ever bared her soul to anyone like this. And Kagura has accepted all of it, taken all the broken parts and looked upon them with a loving gaze, as if they were the rarest and most precious diamonds in the world. 

Everyone else sees Erza as what she is, and cannot fathom her losing her grip even for a second. Kagura sees Erza as who she is, and wholeheartedly receives the weakness with the strength, the pain with the love, the sorrow with the joy. 

“You’re welcome. Merry Christmas.” Kagura replies, and Erza can see in her eyes that she truly means it. The soft relief that breaks over her when she sees Kagura’s unconditional love for her damaged self feels like a balm, soothing every wound she’s left open over the years.

“Yeah, you too,” Erza whispers. Fatigue washes through her once more, but this is a good weariness, one that makes her want to sleep and wake rejuvenated rather than lie like a zombie in her bed. She yawns, and Kagura smiles.

“Sleep,” she says. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Erza nods tiredly, and her eyes are closing before she knows it. Kagura drapes the covers over her once more, brushes her hair out of her face with tender fingers.

And she isn’t sure if she’s imagining the next part, but for a minute it almost feels like there are soft, warm lips on hers, a sweet promise that their owner will stay as long as she needs. The sensation is gone within a few seconds, though, and Erza falls fully into dreamland, slumbering peacefully for the first time in over a year. 

Her dreams are filled with the dark-haired woman who has loved all of her, even the damaged parts, and it brings contentment to Erza’s broken heart at long last. 

[mythicamagic]

Swimming in Silk - Chapter 13

Training in front of her, engaging her in conversation and now lending her his clothes…Kagome is starting to suspect that Sesshoumaru is trying to gain her attention.

Sesskag - Romance, Humour, Drama, Angst

Rated M - As always you can read this story on Ao3, fanfiction.net or Dokuga

Chapter One - here       Chapter Three - here    Chapter Five - here

Chapter Two - here        Chapter Four - here       Chapter Six - here  

Chapter Seven - here    Chapter Eight - here    Chapter Nine - here          Chapter Ten  - here    Chapter Eleven - here     Chapter Twelve - here

Chapter Fourteen - here

Warning: Smut (this chapter is kind of filler? Maybe? Ah well, we're heading to angst town after this chapter~)

Embracing Eccentricity

A loud crash thundered through the Western Lord's bedroom. The latticework caved in, stray pieces of wood landing atop a soaked Inuyasha, He quickly stood, glowering at his brother through the sizeable hole in Sesshoumaru's door.

"Fucking bastard," he snarled.

Kagome gaped, standing from the wooden tub Inuyasha had just been unceremoniously flung from. "Wait just a second!" She exclaimed, grabbing Sesshoumaru's sleeve. "What's going on? Inuyasha, how are you here too?"

The Hanyou growled, automatically groping for the sword usually at his side, but Tetsusaiga had been left back at the Higurashi shrine. "Ain't like I know! I just saw ya disappear through this screen thing and I followed. Got lost in some weird pink water before I saw your feet and swam to the surface." He dismissed, refocusing on his anger. "Good thing I did, since it led me to this asshole!" Inuyasha tore through the remainder of the sliding door. He raised a fist, striking at Sesshoumaru- who gracefully dodged, grabbing his arm.

Kagome winced as another crash sounded out. The two bodies had blurred through the air, flying outside and hitting the ground, skidding along the grass as their youki energy clashed.

"That's enough you two!" Kagome raced out onto the porch, clutching her wet clothes. They ignored her, red and white colours blurring around the garden and occasionally knocking the other into a tree- snapping branches- or into the ground, sending dirt flying. A whip of light slammed into Inuyasha, knocking him off his feet and landing hard onto the ground once more. Sesshoumaru landed in a billow of white silks, standing over him.

The Hanyou growled loudly. He jumped up- clawing into the air ceaselessly as he continually missed Sesshoumaru, who dodged like the very air were a part of him. Kagome's brows drew together, her throat constricting as Inuyasha kept trying. This wasn't the same as their usual fights. He looked desperate, enraged as he fought to land just one hit.

"It's your fault!" He burst, snarling as he ducked down low and tried an uppercut. "It's all your damn fault!"

Kagome's feet carried her forward, and before she realised it, she was running onto the grass. She threw her palms up- raiding a shield. Inuyasha's fist slammed into the pink barrier that rippled between the brothers. Hard gold eyes swung her way.

"Please calm down, Inuyasha," Kagome said softly, wilting inwardly at his withering glare. She stiffened when guards appeared from thin air, bringing their spears down and pointing them at the Hanyou. They completely surrounded him in no time.

Inuyasha stilled, eyes narrowing as his claws flexed. Blood lust flashed in his eyes, lighting them vibrant red.

"Stand down," Sesshoumaru muttered dismissively.

"W-we heard noises, my Lord. We thought the walls had been breached."

"This one would have sent word if that were the case," he cooly replied, something flashing in his eyes when they did not immediately comply with his orders. The guards quickly drew they weapons away.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Kagome dissipated her shield, trembling a little from the cold. The guards bowed and strode away out of the garden, leaving them alone. Kagome glanced at Inuyasha, who remained glaring at the ground, fists clenched.

"... Come," a palm settled on her lower back. Kagome automatically gravitating closer, lured in by Sesshoumaru's reverent gaze. He ushered her to the porch, where she paused, glancing over her shoulder.

"Inuyasha?" She murmured.

The Hanyou tsked, glowering at Sesshoumaru, who sighed. "You may as well follow. We can discuss any...grievances inside."

White triangular ears lowered, pressing against his skull. Inuyasha grimly nodded. He padded forward, hesitating when three servants hurried down the pathway to Kagome, brushing past him.

"My Lady, you've returned." Chiyo smiled.

Kagome awkwardly nodded, "Uh yeah-"

"Please allow us to help you change. You must be freezing."

Kagome glanced at Sesshoumaru, who rose a brow. "Oh- um...thank you, I'll do that. But, you know, Inuyasha is also soaked."

The servants glance at him, almost as an afterthought, bowing apologetically. "Forgive us, can we be of service and bring you new robes?" A servant asked.

Inuyasha growled, folding his arms. "These are my damn clothes, you ain't getting your hands on them, I'll be fine- see." He suddenly shook himself off, much like a dog, sending droplets into the air. The servants squeaked, while Sesshoumaru boredly rose a sleeve, protecting himself and Kagome from the stray flecks. Kagome couldn't help but feel a little happy though. He was protective of his new clothes?

"I-I see, very good," Chiyo winced. The ladies turned to Kagome and eagerly ushered her away, dragging her to a room before she could protest.

They hurriedly dried her and combed the damp hair back from her face. Kagome felt herself be twisted and turned, until she was prodded into a reception room for guests, clad in a simple but tasteful blue yukata.

Inuyasha sat opposite his half brother at a low table, glaring hard. Kagome awkwardly took her seat beside Sesshoumaru, hating how formal it all felt. She glanced between the two glowering men and sighed when the silence continued.

"Okay, Inuyasha. You're clearly upset-"

"No I ain't."

"-But how about you try to just go through what you're angry about? With more words and less punching." She finished.

"It's not like talking has ever helped before, but whatever." He grumbled, hand clenching into a fist. He levelled a weighty stare right at his brother. "Why did you close the well?" He asked quietly.

Sesshoumaru met his gaze unflinchingly, not ashamed in the least. "This one was concerned with Kagome's mortality."

"Then why the hell trap me in the future too!?" Inuyasha burst, baring his teeth. "It doesn't make any damn sense."

Pale lashes lowered as the Daiyoukai seemed to mull over how to answer. "Hanyous like you will last perhaps 250 to 300 years more at a stretch. She would have lost you too, had you stayed in the village."

Inuyasha started, trembling slightly. "That wasn't your choice to make...Asshole." He swung his attention to the miko. "Why aren't you pissed about the well too?"

Her hands clenched. "I..." she swallowed, setting her shoulders. "I'm sad you were trapped against your will, but as for me, I just can't find it in me to be angry." She gave a rueful smile. "There's so many other things going on right now."

Her best friend sneered, folding his arms. Kagome's brows drew together, turning her gaze to Sesshoumaru as a thought occurred to her. "There's something else you're not saying. Isn't there?" She asked softly.

Intense gold slid to her. "Admittedly I had no insurance I'd survive to your time. Though it is ridiculous to think that I could be killed- if you were with Inuyasha then..."

Her heart skittered and tripped in her chest. "You trapped him in the future with me so that I wouldn't be alone if you died? If you never made it to my time." She stared at him in mute shock, unsure what to think about that.

The table jolted as Inuyasha stood, baring his teeth. "You don't get to decide that shit on your own! It's my life! Maybe I wasn't meant to live in Kagome's time!"

"So the thought of her being alone in the future doesn't bother you?" Sesshoumaru cooly replied.

"She could have stayed in this era with me- with our friends!"

A cold breeze seemed to fan out from Sesshoumaru's icy stare. His words were measured and cold. "Then she would be dead at this point. This one did what was necessary. What you would be too weak or sentimental to do."

Inuyasha snarled- the noise dying in his throat as he slammed his fist forward once more- only to feel a steel grip close over his fist. The perfect nails were painted magenta.

"I sensed drama and made haste to see what the fuss was about~" A silky voice purred. Inukimi's eyes sparked with amusement, gliding from Hanyou to miko. "Now I'm immensely pleased I did so. It's been a while, little mate."

Kagome blinked in surprise, nodding with relief. "I'm really glad to see you here, Lady Inukimi."

Inuyasha reeled, not quite computing that the demoness had blocked his punch. Her disarmingly warm eyes glided to him, voice cooling into something deadly. "No fighting in the house, boys."

She released him with a dismissive flex of her fingers. The Hanyou stared, looking between the two demons as Inukimi motioned for a servant to come in, carrying tea. He opened his mouth before Sesshoumaru interjected. "Yes, she is my mother, foolish half breed."

Kagome nudged his elbow with her own, shooting him a look.

"Keh, figured as much. Now I see where you get your girly looks from, ya definitely take after the broad-" Inuyasha had been snickering, but he suddenly quieted when Inukimi's nose stopped mere inches from his own. His ears automatically flattened. Kagome watched with amazement as he seemed to wilt, shrinking back until he seemed to register something was amiss.

"O-oi, what the hell are you doing?"

Ruby red lips curved up, and she flashed perfect teeth at him almost victoriously. "Just exercising pack behaviour. It seems you're demon enough to recognise when you should back down."

"H-hah? As if I would!" Inuyasha's eyes flash. A low noise escaped her in response, lips peeling up further to expose sharp fangs. The Hanyou's head automatically turned in a flash, tilting to expose his neck. Yet his eyes widened in mortification and confusion.

Kagome bristled, but silken tones spoke up first. "Mother..." Sesshoumaru uttered, steel wrapped in velvet. He observed them quietly. "That's enough."

Bell-like laughter escaped her. "You're asking me to stop, when all you do is bully the poor whelp? I was merely playing."

Kagome noticed the line of tension in Sesshoumaru's jaw as he clenched it. Putting her hand on his arm, she forced a smile, still reeling from the odd sight. "So uh, what have I missed? How long has it been?" This seemed to distract Inukimi enough to lean away from Inuyasha.

"30 years," Sesshoumaru answered in an even tone, seeming grateful for the change in topic.

Her breath halted. "Oh," she worried her bottom lip, meeting his gaze. A warm palm closed over her hand and she quickly blinked away tears. She'd have to get used to this, but his calm acceptance only made her feel worse.

"Yes indeed, exciting developments have been taking place in your absence," Inukimi muttered, taking out her pipe and lighting it. She was seemingly heedless of Inuyasha's grimace, coughing when smoke wafted into the room. The servant placed a cup of hot tea in front of Kagome, who smiled and thanked her. Lifting it up, she inhaled the bitter scent.

More contraceptive tea. She glanced at Inukimi, who winked.

Kagome blushed, quickly focusing on the topic at hand. "I noticed there are more guards than before...they seemed worried the wall would be breached." She shot a questioning look at the demons.

Sesshoumaru's hand shifted over hers, stroking the thin skin over her knuckles. "Hn, there is bad blood between us and the local humans."

"W-what? But it wasn't like that before."

"Things change, little one," the demoness exhaled curling smoke. "I'd have thought you'd know that better than anyone. Since the barrier around the Western Lands broke years back, we have had to take caution."

Kagome's brow knitted, attention falling to the tea that she habitually sipped while her thoughts continued to churn. Bad blood? Kaito had mentioned something about the Western Lands being hidden from the humans because of the barrier. And he'd taken off to kill that hunter.

Deciding not to ask about that just now, wanting to wait until it was just Sesshoumaru, Kagome instead glanced around upon realising someone was missing. "Where's Shippo?"

Nails scraped her skin, lightly biting in and causing her to jolt. Sesshoumaru quickly flexed his fingers away from her flesh, demeanour changing subtly. "He is with the foxes," he uttered.

Silver hair shifted over Inukimi's shoulder as she inclined her head, eyes glittering. "Mn, my son believed it would be safer for him in their lands."

"He left to continue training with those that can better instruct him on his type of magic. It was for no other reason." He said in a low, deadly tone.

Inukimi exhaled smoke, only seeming more amused.

"Sesshoumaru?" The miko turned his attention back to her, brow furrowing when his eyes settled on her. So many emotions seemed at war within his eyes, belied by his calm, stoic mask.

Inuyasha tsked and poured himself some contraceptive tea. Kagome blinked and thought to say something- when he downed it and made a noise of disgust. At least it seemed to cheer Sesshoumaru up. Inuyasha huffed and stood, "feh, as much as sittin' here yappin' about nothing is thrilling, I'm gonna head to the village."

Kagome's heart skipped a beat, placing her tea down. "You shouldn't go there alone, Inuyasha."

"You will not be going at all."

Vague surprise skittered through her, and Kagome glanced at the warmth by her side. The Hanyou's hackles rose in response, lips peeling back to reveal gritted teeth. Kagome quickly spoke up, raising her hands in a placating gesture.

"Maybe we should find out more about this time period before rushing off." Turning to Sesshoumaru once more, she tilted her head. "Kirara is back at the village, right? Does she need a disguise all the time now?"

When he gave a solemn nod, new fears bubbled to the surface of her chest. So, it had already started. Demons really were being snuffed out.

What's more, if it's been 30 years then Kohaku probably…

She quickly shook that saddening thought away. "Sesshoumaru's right, we shouldn't go-" she hurriedly carried on when Inuyasha made to protest. "Unless you can find a way to blend in with humans. Properly this time. No caps," she lightly teased.

"Ah, I see your mate favours the Foxes way of thinking," Inukimi observed wryly. She tapped her pipe, "Inuyoukai have too much pride to follow such an example."

Inuyasha tossed his head, folding his arms. "I ain't Inuyoukai." Something laced with the gruffness of his voice that the miko couldn't quite catch. Bitterness, perhaps. Or loneliness. "Besides," he carried on unperturbed. "That night is coming up in a few days, I'll be fine if I just go then."

Kagome blinked, before catching on. The New Moon.

She nodded in understanding, while Inukimi pouted. "No fair, keeping secrets."

After a tense supper was provided for the small group, servants returned to usher Inuyasha to his room.

"I don't wanna go with you or stay here. Sesshoumaru will probably gut me in my sleep," was his sneering reply. Kagome felt it probably had more to do with the fact that Inuyasha had never been welcomed into his father's house, let alone stayed the night.

She glanced at Sesshoumaru, mulling over whether to ask if they could stay with him to keep him company or have a sleepover. Suddenly the image of the Killing Perfection clad in pyjamas laying on his stomach with his ankles crossed in the air wouldn't leave her mind.

Hiding a grin behind her hand, her cheeks heated. Sesshoumaru arched a brow, but the look in his eyes was telling. He wouldn't be staying much longer in Inuyasha's presence. Kagome eased closer, also wanting to be alone with him and wondering if that made her selfish.

"My son will be much too busy with his mate to entertain the thought of you," Inukimi dismissed bluntly, smoothly rising from her seat while smoothing her furs. "However if you desire company, this one would be glad to-"

"I'M GOING!" Inuyasha dashed out of the room, dragging a hapless servant with him and barking for her to show him his damn room.

Inukimi gave a playful chuckle, gold eyes dancing with merriment. Her son however had paled considerably, steadily turning a sickly green. The demoness flashed a wicked grin at the remaining, stunned pair.

"You're welcome. Goodnight."

With a graceful turn of her heel, she left them behind, causing Kagome to bite her lip to stop herself from outright laughing. Sesshoumaru glanced at her, still reeling.

"She's got a way with words, huh?"

"Hn."

Her amusement died when her hand was lifted to thin lips, brushing feather-light and pressing firmer as something seemed to take hold of him. Kagome swallowed, breathing out shakily as the air suddenly became charged.

"Let's…uh- let's go to bed," she murmured.

He nodded shortly. With her heart drumming fast, the walk to his wing passed in a comparatively dull blur. Soon Kagome found herself standing in the centre of a guest bedroom, since the Western Lord's chambers would need to be repaired back to their former glory.

The door slid shut with a soft noise, but held an air of loud finality to it. Kagome glanced over the new room with feigned interest, finding the decor sparse, but in reality, she was just buying time. Heart hammering, blue eyes focused on him. He did not move from the door, face remaining unreadable. It was strange, but after Inukimi's behaviour with Inuyasha earlier, the miko felt a slight call to let instinct take over. It was odd and strange. Demon behaviour felt eccentric and bold, but she wanted to try. Something boiled hard and fast in her veins. Guilt, love, longing. The space they inhabited together right then held no room for logic or hesitance.

Sliding her heel back, Kagome slowly turned away slightly, showing her back. The normally disrespectful gesture was smothered by her gaze refusing to leave his, hands coming up to loosen her yukata. Glancing down at her fingers just for a moment to remove her obi, she caught the sound of weight shifting, stepping across the floor and causing it to creak. Kagome's eyes snapped up, finding him closer.

Blushing slightly, her body shifted to slide the material down, exposing the nape of her neck and bare shoulders. His mark stood out starkly against her skin. Black hair tumbled down her back, and she reached behind her to collect it, moving the strands to fall over her shoulder.

Kagome found herself pressed against the floor a moment later, landing with a dull thud. A strong arm had wrapped around her waist. Her palms and knees slightly ached, cheek resting against the floor. His body heat lingered dangerously close, the familiar warmth of him causing her to shiver. She didn't protest as she lay on her stomach, leaving her back exposed as the sleeves of the yukata clung to her elbows. Large palms slid out to lay flat on the floor, leaving her trapped beneath him.

Firm lips descended, pressing against the space between her shoulder-blades. Her bra was unhooked. Hot breath fanned over her flesh in waves of quiet pants. Kagome let her cheek rest against the hardwood flooring. It felt cool in contrast with the heat at her back. A faint gasp escaped her when teeth trailed up- scraping against the base of her neck. Her skin pricked and flushed. Long legs shifted, thighs pressing together. The softest of sighs escaped her. Tilting her head, she offered the smooth expanse of her throat to the hungry wandering of his lips.

Feeling herself be pressed harder against the floor as more weight settled against her, Kagome made a noise. The sublime feel of his hips rutted slowly forward and she expected him to continue. To take things further.

Hair tickled the nape of her neck, before she felt his forehead rest there. The demon released a quiet breath.

"Sesshoumaru?" She murmured. "What's wrong?"

"This one wanted everything to be stable upon your return, so that we could carry on as we always have," Kagome made a noise when she was suddenly turned. Landing on her back, her vision was swallowed by nothing but him. His hair hung forward, cutting off the rest of the world via a silver waterfall. "But it is not so this time."

Kagome shifted her legs to accommodate him, drawing one knee up to wrap loosely around his waist as she kissed his jaw. "That's fine, silly." She smiled warmly. "This is the Warring States Era. Tell me what's happening and we can work on finding a solution."

His eyes widened a touch, before gentling. He nodded, and Kagome made to move out from beneath him, only to hear a growl. She blinked, "um...I thought you meant right now?"

"Don't be a tease," soft dulcet tones purred. "Naturally this one is going to satisfy us both first. That half breed fool is not here to delay me any longer," he kissed her throat hungrily.

She gave a breathy laugh, before sobering. "I can't believe you trapped Inuyasha in the future for such a reason."

"Mn...if he hates it so much then he may stay here. Will that not be painful?" He asked, licking the expanse of her throat.

"Yes of course but- mn-" she gave a soft sigh. "Better than him being miserable. I want him to be happy."

"Hn, no more talk of him." Sesshoumaru uttered.

Bracing her arms on the hardwood floor behind her, Kagome obliged and lifted her hips so that he could slide her wet panties off. Sesshoumaru made a vague noise of confusion when Kagome leaned up suddenly- loosening his obi. Once free, she parted his clothing, pushing the grey silks aside, as he did not bare his crest today. Once his pale flesh was exposed, she gripped his shoulders and pushed him to sit back on his heels- straddling him.

"What are you doing?" He said thinly, raising a brow.

A rosy blush heated her cheeks, but she flashed a smile at him. "You seem overworked. Besides, it shouldn't be on you to 'satisfy both of us,' I'll give it a go this time."

Sesshoumaru didn't exactly know how to register her boldness when her hand slid between them. His hands latched onto her hips, digging his nails in when she lightly grasped the hardness that had been digging into her thigh. A harsh pant escaped clenched teeth and he made a rumbling noise, dropping his head to her shoulder when she started to rub him.

His cock hardened further with her attention, and Kagome blushed darker. Splaying a slender hand over his thigh, she felt his breath hitch against her shoulder. It was quite impossible not to find him beautiful. The pale body beneath her trembled slightly, muscles jumping while his claws flexed.

Hesitantly she lowered her mouth to his chest, kissing and licking the feverishly warm skin. Sesshoumaru leaned his head away, lips peeling back. When she reached his stomach, her mouth clamped over the magenta stripe on his hip. The demon gasped and hissed in warning. Flicking her tongue there, she moved down to his abdomen, nipping as she went- delighted when his muscles contracted.

He gasped and violently shuddered when she took him in her mouth.

"Kagome-" she bobbed her head in answer, taking him deeper. Sharp claws skimmed her scalp as he laced deadly fingers in her hair. "Gn...what are you?-"

She chanced a look up at him, startled to find a light flush spreading from his cheeks to the tips of his pointed ears. Magenta lids squeezed firmly shut.

Drawing her mouth off him, she blinked. "You okay?"

"Mn...it is merely that demonesses do not usually- I would not allow this." He groaned lowly as she swiped her tongue along the underside of his cock.

"Why no- oh..." she caught a hint of his sharp fang. "Their teeth are too sharp?" She ventured a guess.

"Indeed." His hips arched forward as she dragged her tongue over his length. Golden eyes cracked open to watch her, blazing. "The-" he hissed out a breath when she closed her mouth over him again,"-act could potentially be deadly."

Wow, is he babbling? Did I do that? Her eyes danced, continuing to pleasure him as she took him as deeply into her mouth as she could, making a noise when he tried to go deeper. She quickly withdrew before he completely lost control.

When he snarled- grip tightening in her hair, Kagome nipped his thigh. Reiki blossomed into her scent, cracking over her skin. "Let go," she muttered, blue clashing with gold when he didn't immediately comply.

Sesshoumaru panted, releasing her slowly, watching as black locks slid free from his claws. Kagome grasped his shoulders and straddled him once more, "I'm not done yet, don't get all snappy," she smiled.

Firm lips pressed to her neck while his hands slid down her back. His erection strained for attention, "this one will not last long now," he hissed.

For her, it had only been a short while since she'd last felt it. But she wanted him inside her more than anything. "That's alright...I'm more than ready," she murmured, lifting her hips and grasping him. When he snarled loudly, Kagome didn't waste time. Lowering herself, Kagome's breath halted as she took him inside her wet sex. When the head pushed in, prying further, Sesshoumaru's eyes snapped red. Feeling the beginning of a snarl rumbling deep from his throat- Kagome sucked in a heap of air and pressed her hips down against his, taking all of him in one go.

A scream was ripped from her- quickly muffled by firm lips. Sesshoumaru made a strangled noise, trying to smother it with her mouth. Kagome trembled atop him, feeling his cock ridiculously deep within. It pulsed, stretching her inner walls. It felt like he filled every corner of her body, hitting every nerve ending. Hesitantly, she tried to alleviate the tension by rutting her hips.

Their breaths intermingled, sharp claws pricking harder into her hips and drawing blood.

"I've missed you," the words come quietly between them. Kagome wasn't sure which one of them had spoken.

They began to move, bodies instinctually rutting. The miko moaned, rocking her hips back and then easing forward, feeling him hit a spot deep within her that curled her toes.

The firm heat of his palms against her skin grounded her, though she could barely feel the pricks of his claws. Sesshoumaru's hips met her motions, until a particularly hard thrust sent her reeling. Crying out, Kagome dug her own nails into his shoulders. "Gn- jerk..." she panted.

Sesshoumaru hissed, lips curving. Their noses brushed before he pulled back- thrusting in again with enough power to force the air from Kagome's lungs. Their pace became barely coherent to either of them. Harsh slapping sounds of their bodies continually meeting filled the room as Kagome's slick sex lured him in deeper.

Her entire body thrummed with pleasure, muscles taut as she rode the edge of her own climax. Not yet-

She tried to hold off, wanting to see him lose control. With a burst of epiphany, Kagome yanked him in closer, latching her teeth onto his neck over the mating mark. The sound that ripped its way from his throat came from somewhere deep in the pit of his stomach – a ragged, rumbling snarl that she felt as much as she heard.

Blazing red met her startled gaze, and Kagome cried out when a steel grip grasped her under her thighs. His own sharp teeth buried themselves in her shoulder, while a harsh rhythm began. His hips snapped up, burying himself inside her faster and faster. Kagome could barely keep up anymore, trying her damnedest to hold onto his shoulders. Crying out, she wrapped her arms around him, rocking her own hips down and angling them so that he hit a certain spot within her core. The action had her squeezing him like a vice.

His startled groan was drowned out by her own cries as the heat in her belly finally snapped. Searing white-hot pleasure shoot down to the tips of her toes. She sucked in greedy, ragged breaths, light exploding behind her eyes.

Sesshoumaru's teeth sank further until her blood coated his fangs. The reiki skittering over her skin unfiltered clashed with his youki, sending him careening over the edge- spilling his seed inside her with a hoarse, muffled snarl.

Kagome made a noise, feeling him fill her. Dropping her head to his shoulder, she soaked in his warmth and closeness. The feel of his bare skin and strong form against hers as her body hummed pleasantly. Teeth slowly pulled out of her skin, and she shuddered. Lapping away the blood, Sesshoumaru reverently licked over the fresh marks.

Feeling his thumb glide to her chin, Kagome looked up groggily, only to smile and accept one chaste kiss from his bloodied mouth.

[greekowl87]

11 for the writing prompts

“You’re a monster.”

Took forever to answer and think about. Hope it is okay. I live for iwtb era angst. Tagging @today-in-fic .

I did not remember when it happened. It had been so long. I thought we were getting better. I honestly allowed myself to believe that. We were better. After our trip to St. Martin, there was a little light come back into our lives.

I told him I was going to be late from the hospital that night. I left him a voicemail. I texted him twice, even though I knew he doesn’t use his phone like that. I debated emailing him as well, just to cover my basis, short using carrier pigeons or a messenger. Who am I kidding? He would probably shoot the messenger on sight in lieu of the old age adage of “Trust no one.”

Shit. I barely wondered if he trusted me anymore.

I’ve been down this road before. You remember me telling you about Diana Fowley?

I know it’s been years ago but the hurt is still there. I never want to feel like that again. It was beginning to feel like that again before the FBI came knocking on our door, asking for his help in exchange for his freedom.

His freedom.

It’s been a month and what has that gotten me? Nothing. I feel like he keeps himself locked back up in that corner office even more now. Hell, the beard is coming back. I’m sick of the fucking beard.

I thought things would be different. We could build an actual life together. Both of our names on the house and on the car. I know I haven’t talked about marriage, but maybe he would ask the question again and I would say yes. I will say yes. I’m tired of being life partners. I want to get married. File a joint tax return. Get a golden lab and he can build that white picket fence. Actually being normal and happy.

But no. I haven’t felt this alone in a long time.

… .

Scully paused before hanging up the phone. “I don’t know, mom. I can ask.” She took a deep breath. “Maybe your right. Dragging him out to a family dinner might help. I’ll ask him tonight. Yeah. I love you too. I’ll see you Sunday.”

She hung up her cell and stared at the closed gate marking off their little homestead from the rest of the world. She sat in the car as the engine idled, feel the heat from the defrost make her feel overheated in her coat and gloves, and the nervousness and unease cling to her like a sheen of sweat. Should she come home? What would happen if she just backed the car out of the driveway and drove away?

Banishing such thoughts, Scully unbuckled her seat belt and stepped out of the new Ford SUV as her heeled boots splashed in the mud and gravel. She pushed open the gate and drove through before securing it again. She hesitated before climbing back into the car.

It would be so easy just to drive away. He would never know but her heart ached with the pain and anguish she knew it could cause. But what about her? Hadn’t she sacrificed enough? Wasn’t being on the run with him for six years and giving up their son in favor of his safety enough? And what about the cancer and the abduction? Didn’t she suffer too?

She shook her head and climbed back into the car, banishing the selfish thoughts that still lingered in the back of her mind, festering and waiting for the right moment to explode. Driving up towards the house, she noticed how dark it was, save from the one light that came from his office. Gritting her teeth, she prepared herself mentally for the likely chance of an oncoming argument. But she would be the tactile one, casually bring up the possibility of Sunday dinner with her mother, try to make small talk and pretend everything was okay.

But it wasn’t, was it, Dana?

She clutched her briefcase and quietly walked up the creaking wood steps and unlocked the front door.

The first thing she noticed was the coldness of the house and the light from the under the office door. She casually turned on the lamp and dropped her briefcase mechanically on the couch. She hesitated before knocking on the door lightly and opening it without hesitating.

“You’re late.”

He did not turn around to greet her but kept his back to Scully, staying hunched over the computer. She could hear his fingers typing quickly. She was assaulted by the heat of the office and noticed the space heater plugged into the wall, churning out the hot air.

“I called you. I texted you twice,” she said, trying to keep her voice even. “Short of sending a courier pigeon, I did tell you.”

He didn’t face her and she cleared her throat. “Did you look for work like we discussed this morning?”

“No.”

“What did you do then?”

He held up a finger but still did not turn around. “I was in some chat rooms. Maybe we can head up to Detroit. There was some talk about some crazy lights in the motor city.”

“Mulder, we talked about this. Did you even leave the office today? Look at the newspaper classifieds?” she asked, doing her best to keep her voice even.

“I’ll do it tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow,” she mumbled sarcastically under her breath. Scully licked her lips and continued. “You said that yesterday, and the day before that. And the week before that. Oh and a month ago too. You keep saying you’ll do it but when I come home, you’re here, squirreled away in your little…” She waved her hand about the office. “Fox den. You have your freedom back now, you have your identity back. Why don’t you want to live?”

He snorted caustically. “Like never coming home, working and spending all my time at a hospital, and never talking to my partner?”

“Where did that come from?”

He spun around and Scully was taken aback by the Mulder she saw. She had not seen this version of him in years: the loner who kept her at arm’s length and did not trust her. “I don’t know. How come you never call anymore? You are always late.”

“I called you tonight! How is this about me?” she sputtered in disbelief. “Mulder, what is going on? I thought you’d be happy to have your freedom back?”

“And do what,” he spat acidly. “They ruined my work, my career, and my life. What am I supposed to do? What do I have left? Go work down at the local McDonald’s flipping burgers while you go on being a doctor, making a difference, and I’m just some sad charity case?”

“Mulder, you’re being irrational,” she spoke slowly, her anger barely in check. “Things are different.”

“How? I’m still some fuck up and play second fiddle to you. It’s just now I can do it as Fox Mulder in the public eye.”

“You’re a monster, you know that?” Her voice was tight and she swallowed the bile that came from her brewing fury. “A whiny, sarcastic, crying asshole of a monster who only cares about himself. It is always about you. It has always been about you. I thought things were getting better for us now you had your freedom, but no. All you can think about is yourself. I want to have a life with you, Mulder. I was going to ask if you wanted to have dinner with my mother this Sunday. Do normal things like normal people because you know what, Mulder? We’re normal now. We don’t have our badges and guns and chasing monsters in the dark. We have a house. We have a mortgage. We have a car loan. It’s not just my name on those things, remember? We celebrated when we could both of our names on there. Our names. Our life. We have a life together or have you forgotten that?”

Unknown tears came to her eyes as she wiped them uselessly, her voice never losing its harsh tone. “I thought you wanted that too. We talked about it at one time, right before you were abducted. We talked about it when we were on the run, where I gave up everything for you and never questioned you. Or did you forget all that as well? We talked about having a normal life and getting married.”

“You said you didn’t want to get married.” His voice was small but he icy gaze remained.

“If you’d asked me this morning, I would have said yes. Yes, I would have married you. Do you know why? Because I love you. But you seem to have changed your mind and where your priorities lay.” She gestured to his computer like she was trying to exercise a demon from her life. “I guess I don’t have a new place in your life now that you have your identity back.” She sighed bitterly. “I thought we had worked through this with that last case. I thought we were past all this.”

He was silent, watching her distantly and she stared at him, willing him wordless to say something. Anything. But Mulder just sat there, watching her, remaining quiet. She shook her head.

“I will not be surprised if you don’t come to bed tonight.”

… .

The bed was cold as I shuffled into it. Even wearing the flannel pajama pants and old Georgetown sweatshirt, I was freezing. I tried to switch to the heating unit but to no avail. Now it made sense why Mulder had the space heater in his office. Did he not care to even place a service call to a repairman? I chose to throw extra blankets on but I was still cold.

Maybe we were done? After tonight, we were done. I was sure of it.I had called him a monster and I overstepped the line. I put the final nails in the coffin of our relationship. I closed my eyes as the tears came again, hot and burning. Good. I deserved the pain. The only I wanted to save, I couldn’t. I couldn’t save him.

Who was I crying for? Our destroyed relationship? The loss of our hopes and dreams (or had they been just mine?) Or because as many lifelines I had thrown out, all the miles I had swimmed for him, maybe I just couldn’t save him. Maybe it was my fault.

The cold was welcoming and I deserved it. I deserved it because I failed. My mind was made up. I would go to my mother’s in the morning, spend some time there. He’d be happier without me and he could do whatever he wanted.  I was just holding him back. I always held him back. I felt the same insecurities I felt with Fowley. He was meant to be someone else. He was meant for a different life. He just wasn’t meant for me.

I can hear the shower from downstairs. The water rushing through the old pipes could be heard throughout the house. I did my best to ignore it. I heard the stairs shift with weight on them. What was he doing? Then, I heard the door open quietly and I closed my eyes, trying to pretend to be asleep.

I can hear him shuffling around our room. I hear a space heater turning on. Drawers were opened and closed. Then I feel the covers pull back and the weight of the mattress shift as he slides into bed next me.

… .

I can tell you are not asleep. I know your breathing pattern. After fifteen years, Scully you can’t fool me. I had never seen you so…emotional though in the fifteen years I have known you. In the fifteen years I have and still am very much in love with you. Even though I am a monster. A selfish ass of a monster. You are right on that one. But I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want you to hurt because of me. You’ve suffered enough because of me.

The room is freezing by the time I come in. Why would she subject yourself to this? By the time I slip beneath the covers behind you, you’re already shielding yourself from me. I don’t blame you. I can never blame you. But please don’t run from me. Give me one more chance.

… .

She jumps at his warm hands snaking under her shirt and around her pulling her hips against his. He tangled their legs together and he kissed the back of her neck reverently before trailing a smattering of small kisses to behind her ear. “I’m sorry, Scully. I’m so sorry.”

She lets a sob go that she had disguised as holding her breath. Mulder closed his eyes, securing himself around her as if swallowing her so she could not run away. She hugged him closer too in a weak attempt to push away the emotions threatening to drown her. “You’re right,” she murmured, “I failed you. I failed you.”

“What are you talking about?”

The familiar warmth and weight of him around her brought Scully no comfort. “You could’ve have been so much more without me,” she whispered. “I should have never…all those years ago. You could have been so much more without me. You would be so much happier. I should have never come to you that night.”

“What night?” Then he remembered. Right after New Year’s back in 2000. When everything had changed. “Aw, Scully, stop talking like that.”

“No. Because it’s true. You’re not the monster. I am. I was a fool to think the things I did.” She quieted, wiping the tears away. “I’ll go in the morning, okay? I’ll stay with my mom and you can figure out your life.”

His heart raced with alarm and he panicked. Is this what she truly thought? That this was her fault? Did he push that on her? “Scully. Don’t. You’re talking nonsense. Stop talking like that.”

“What, the truth?” Scully spat bitterly over her tears. She was trying to free herself from him. “Let me go, Mulder.”

“No. Not until you start talking sense.”

Using his size to his advantage, Mulder rolled her beneath him and used his weight to pin her down. “Mulder, let me go!”

In the dim light from the windows and a lamp they left on out in the hallway, he saw the tears that had streamed down her cheeks. He could imagine how red her eyes were from crying. “Why? Why are you running away?”

“I can’t. I failed. I can’t do this anymore.”

“You didn’t fail.”

“I can’t save you. I can’t save us. You made it quite clear tonight that this is all my doing.” She stopped fighting. She just lay there, as if accepting a punishment. “I failed.”

He let her go but still loomed over her. Desperate to make her feel what he believed, he bent forward and kissed her. Mulder’s tongue delved into her mouth so she could taste his love for her. His right arm snaked around while he used his left arm to hold them up so she could feel how well she fitted with him. Surprised by this change in action, she let him mold her to him and felt the familiar pressure southwards. He pressed his forehead against hers, breathing heavily.

“Let me show you how much you belong to me.”

The actions were hurried and clumsy. But the familiar touch warmed the coldness from their hearts. Her cry pierced the night over the churning space heater, creating a blossoming warmth between them as he entered and lingered. She hugged him, never letting him go as he finally withdrew.

“We belong to each other,” he murmured. “You saved me. You have never failed me.”

Scully pressed her ear against his chest, listening to his heart. “What can I do?”

“What can I do,” he corrected. “Maybe we can look in the paper together at the classifieds. Maybe you and inquire at the hospital on my behalf so I can figure out how to get licensed as a therapist. Maybe I can build you a hot tube.”

She kissed his neck and whispered, “That’s all I want to hear, Mulder.”

“What?”

“Maybe. I just want you to try, that’s all.”

“That’s all?”

She nodded. “I just want you to be happy.”

Mulder let the weight of her words settle on his shoulders and he held her tightly. “Well, it’s a good thing I have such a beautiful guardian angel to remind me when I get foolhardy.” He felt her smile against his chest. “Don’t give up on us, Scully. Don’t ever give up on us, please.”

“You taught me to believe,” she answered simply. “I won’t stop.”

“Promise me, Scully,” he begged.

“I promise.”

[mishamoonberry]

A Change in Attitude

ERASING IMPOSSIBILITY CHAPTER 17 - AO3 / FFN

This chapter doesn’t have Oro-chan-san angst just yet, haha, I think it will appear soon in later chapters.

Thank you so much for your support!

Enjoy reading!!

17 days after Team Minato’s bell test

“Ugh,” is Obito’s eloquent reply to Minato-sensei’s announcement this morning after our daily warm-ups. The boy’s shoulders are sagging, his expression conveying exactly what he thinks about Minato-sensei’s words. “Minato-sensei, why must we take that mission? Another kind of D-rank is better than this!”

“Idiot,” Kakashi rolls his eyes, crossing his arms together as he stares at Obito rather distastefully. “You can’t choose every mission by yourself, idiot. You do what you’re given.” Though judging from his grimace when Minato-sensei announced it, he’s not particularly happy about the mission either.

Obito rolls his eyes in return, his expression somehow mirroring Shikako’s usual ‘I-am-so-done-with-everything-right-now’ expression, in which it’s a clear indication that he’s spent too much time around the Nara. “Yeah,” Obito stresses out, sounding a bit sarcastic, “but they’re D-ranks. Lots of civilians order D-ranks, so there are plenty we can choose from!”

“There’s nothing wrong with catching the cat, Obitobi-kun,” I decide to butt in, chirping happily. My hands are clasped around each other behind my back, and I have to restrain a cackle when Obito sends me a totally betrayed look.

“That’s because the cat likes you, Rin-chan,” he almost whines, his arms flailing about, “the demon almost destroyed my goggles the last time around!”

“I hope it gets destroyed today,” comes Kakashi’s soft mutter from beside me, and I have to elbow him in the stomach lest he says it aloud, making him grunt in a mix of surprise and irritation. Thankfully, it seems like Obito didn’t hear what Kakashi said, and thus no more arguments happen at the moment.

“Ranran isn’t that bad,” I try to placate, watching in amusement as both of them grimace the very moment I said it. The white feline may or may not be this era’s Tora the Demon Cat, considering she is owned by the Daimyo’s young wife, as well. She really isn’t that bad. The last time Team Minato had to catch her, she was willing enough to come to my arms when I tried to crouch and offer her some catnip. I might or might not have placed a soothing genjutsu on her though. Mikoto-sensei’s teaching on Genjutsu really helps a lot in times like this.

Oh well.

What Obito and Kakashi didn’t (and still don’t) know won’t hurt them.

Though I’m pretty sure Minato-sensei knows, judging from his amused glance at my absolutely sweet smile. Seems like I can’t get anything past him. Granted, he’s a Jounin, so… No surprise there, I guess.

He’s still a sadist, though.

He knows neither Obito or Kakashi fancy the cat catching mission. One, Kakashi is a dog person. Two, Obito holds a grudge over the Goggles Scratching Post Incident. Three, while tracking it is easy enough, considering Kakashi’s skills, catching the cat is the main problem in the mission.

I bet Minato-sensei laughs his ass off when the mission ended, the last time around. He didn’t help at all, saying it was a good team exercise and we even spotted him eating dango while watching us, the asshole.

“Alright, alright,” Minato-sensei claps his hands, finally taking charge before any more arguments can happen and breaking my thoughts about the past. “No complaining. A mission is a mission. Let’s finish this quickly, okay?”

Cue groaning ensues.

I smile.

They’re so easy and fun to rile.

19 days after Team Minato’s bell test

“Eh?”

The green chakra around my hands dissipates into nothing as I falter, staring up wide eyed at Kishimoto-sensei. In the Mind Palace, Rinny lets out an equally surprised noise, less because of Kishimoto-sensei’s ability to make both of our concentrations falter, but more because of what he chose to say to the both of us. The older man doesn’t seem to notice my sudden distress as he simply smiles easily and gently like usual, his dark brown eyes meeting my own without any hesitation.

“Like I said,” Kishimoto-sensei says, “I think it’s best if you avoid Oro-tan for a little while.”

“Eh?” I said, again, probably with a dumb expression.

That’s… Really unexpected.

I… Isn’t Kishimoto-sensei good friends with Oro-chan-san? I hastily ask Rinny, who seems to be rendered speechless as much as I am.

I don’t know, Rinny answers, shaking her head, there isn’t any character named Kishimoto in the series but… Kishimoto-sensei calls him Oro-tan, and he seems to be comfortable around Orochimaru-sama, so I thought…

This is really weird, I furrow my eyebrows, and really scary. Why do you think he tells us this all of a sudden?

Um, the Inner hesitates, maybe something happened?

“Uh,” I say outwardly, agreeing with Rinny to ask Kishimoto-sensei on what kind of shit happened to make him said that, “did something happen between Oro-chan-san and you, sensei?”

If anything, Kishimoto-sensei seems to brighten. “Oh, no, no! Nothing of the sort, really,” he waves his hand, “I just heard some rumors, that’s all. You’re my cute little student, and I don’t want your reputation to be stained because of the rumors surrounding Oro-tan.”

“What…?” I breathe out, finding myself very surprised.

“Just do as I told you to, okay, Rin-chan? It’s for your own good.”

For my own good? I can’t help but repeat a bit sardonically inwardly, even though I manage to nod at him, making him smile.

Perhaps—

Perhaps if Orochimaru really is beyond saving at this point of time—when he’s too deep in his experiments, in his desire to know more, to have more—then it really will be for my own good to stay away from him.

But is he really? Beyond saving, that is. Has he really fallen that deep already?

I’ve heard rumors circulating around Orochimaru before, mostly on how creepy he looks and how inhumane his knowledge as well as his repertoire of jutsu, but it’s very weird for Kishimoto-sensei to be wary of the rumors now, because I’m sure as hell those rumors have been around for quite a good while. Especially since Orochimaru looks stone faced whenever those rumors appear—as if it’s nothing of the ordinary, as if it’s to be expected from the people around him—and how he seems to shut himself off more whenever the rumors are within our hearing range. That’s why I always make it a point to scold whoever I find to be talking shit about him. Not only it probably puts me in Orochimaru’s good books—if he even has any—it also causes the miniscule tension in his shoulders and the stony look on his face to melt down completely into something more… soft.

Some shinobi will say I’m hallucinating, but there were certain instances where Orochimaru looks relaxed and completely at peace with himself.

Those are the moments when I was always reminded how human Orochimaru could be, can be.

And would have he stopped being human, the very moment he finds no reason to? As far as I am aware, Canon Rin never had any sort of interaction with Orochimaru whatsoever, and there was never shown an entity called Kishimoto Masashi in the series ever. But Canon world barely covers anything anyway, with how much plot holes it has, and perhaps, perhaps, the equivalent of Kishimoto-sensei did exist in canon.

Kishimoto-sensei is? Was? Close to Oro-chan-san, I mull over, frowning a little bit. If, say, someone who was close to Canon Orochimaru left him behind because of some rumors, would that be the catalyst that set him off the edge?

I’m perhaps guessing things too much here, but I really cannot help but to grasp on the last bits of hope that Orochimaru is not beyond saving. Not yet. I feel like Jiraiya, at this point, or even Sarutobi Hiruzen, for still believing in the good of Orochimaru, for still hoping for a positive thing from the Snake Sannin—

If he really is beyond saving, Rinny says, cutting off my thoughts, what would you do?

I pause.

If he really is beyond saving… If he really, really, has become something similar to the villain that gave Sasuke the Cursed Seal in Canon world, there’s only one thing that I know I would do.

I would run the hell away from him.

He’s Sannin, and I’m just a Genin. I can’t capture or kill him. I’m not in the other Sannin’s or Sarutobi’s caliber. I would just get myself killed if I try to confront him (which shows how suicidal Naruto must be, to throw himself at Orochimaru in his rage and bout of irrationality).

And I… would be sad.

Disappointed, maybe. Because I still believe that Orochimaru can change, somehow. That the soft, insecure man I’ve seen in passing from time to time is there and living and that he still has some good in his heart, somewhere.

Still, there’s not much point in thinking about it now.

I still do not know Orochimaru’s current state. But the last time I’ve seen him, he’s still as normal as ever. I am going to have myself stick with my last Probably Not Reliable assessment of him: that he’s still redeemable and can be steered away from being a traitor, somehow.

I’m not going to let a rumor and a warning from someone who believes on rumors change my perception of Orochimaru. Not even if Kishimoto-sensei is my teacher whom I respect and trust.

It will simply make me more careful, of course; because there are usually small truths within rumors.

Still, whether Orochimaru is beyond saving or not, I will only know when I see him next time.

21 Days after Minato’s Bell Test

“Yahoo, Minato’s little minions!” A familiar voice calls out from the corner of the training grounds, and I perk up. My gaze instantly goes to the source of the voice, Kakashi, Obito and Minato-sensei doing the same. While Obito blinks in confusion at the newcomer, Kakashi simply stares, looking as if he’s restraining a sigh.

Minato-sensei and I, though, we’re grinning widely. The only difference is that Minato-sensei looks more lovesick and dopey than I do.

(I miss the assessing look Kakashi throws at me the very moment he sees me going all goo-goo eyes on Kushina, as well as his furrowed eyebrows when he catches an idea on what’s going on with me at that very moment).

I have to restrain a snort. Hopeless, this one. He’s so whipped, I can see it in his expression.

“Kushina-san!” I greet her, cheerful. The red haired woman approaches us with a grin, her hand already reaching forward to ruffle my hair gently. “What are you doing here?”

“I was bored,” comes Kushina’s answer, “So I thought why not visit Minato’s little minions. I see you’re still as grumpy as ever, Kakashi-kun,” she glances at Kakashi, giving him a teasing smile. Kakashi harrumphs in retaliation.

“And I haven’t met the other minion yet!” She moves toward Obito, bending down to look at him in eye level, watching in amusement when Obito yelps in surprise. “Yo, kiddo, I’m Uzumaki Kushina, Minato’s girlfriend.”

Obito’s expression clears, then, lighting up as if he has some sort of an epiphany. “Oh! I’m Uchiha Obito!” He says, “It’s nice to meet you, Uzumaki-san.”

“Eh, just call me Kushina,” the jinchuuriki waves her hand flippantly, “How about Kushina nee-chan?” She glances at me, “You can call me that too, Rin-chan”.

I brighten up. There is no way I’m gonna pass up this chance! “Kushina-nee-chan!” I exclaim happily.

“Kushina nee-chan, then,” Obito seems to like Kushina too, because he’s smiling as he says it.

Then, the rest of us stares at Kakashi.

The boy looks a bit uncomfortable, but glances away as he says, “…Kushina-san.”

Kushina exaggeratedly pouts, scooting over to poke Kakashi in the stomach. The boy jumps a little, glaring lightly when I snort.

“You’re no fun, Kakashi-kun!”

“…Whatever, Kushina-san.”

“Tch,” Kushina clicks her tongue. Though she’s obviously still in good humor, considering how she still looks happy (and very, very pretty, oh gosh) as she stands up, smacking Minato’s shoulder. “You’ve gotten yourself cute little minions here, Minato!”

“They’re my student, Kushina…” Minato says with a laugh, rubbing his shoulder.

“Students, minions, same thing,” she ignores Kakashi’s mutter of ‘it’s different’ and grins, her hands positioned on her hips, “anyway, you’re not planning anything particular for them today, right?”

Minato blinks. “Well, no, not exactly. Why?”

I have a bad feeling about this. And beside me, Kakashi seems to share the sentiment, considering how he is staring at Kushina warily, as if expecting her to suddenly pounce him or something.

“Well,” Kushina sounds super cheerful as she stares us down, a wicked gleam in her eyes. “I wanna play tag.”

The three of us are frozen, and even Minato-sensei seems to gulp. Either out of fear or arousal, I do not know, but either way, I totally understand him at this moment. Kushina looks predatory¸ and for a second I wonder who is the true sadist in the relationship: Minato or Kushina. I don’t have time to dwell on that more though, because she moves into a stance, causing us three genins to be more alert than before.

“I’m gonna be it,” she grins at us, meeting our eyes one by one, “you have five minutes to escape and try to hide. Starting from now.”

We run like our asses are on fire.

XXX

So.

Both of them are closet sadists.

Aside from the fact that Minato-sensei seems to be torn between being worried for our lives or being very turned on at the sight of his girlfriend stomping us to the ground, he still chooses to sit back and watch everything unfold, with a lop sided smile, while eating dango.

And Kushina seems to hold back when she’s catching us, but not enough.

Seriously, she uses her chains to hold Kakashi down on the ground!

Despite myself being tired as fuck and sore, I can’t help but grin and laugh and just in sheer awe.

She’s so cool. Kushina-nee is so cool.

It’s still terrifying though, and she even cackles while attacking us with her chains.

The rest of the afternoon is spent with screaming and yelling children, and a cackling Red Hot Habanero.

Author’s note:

Hello.

I want to apologize for the long wait and the short chapter. As I have mentioned in the latest announcement, I’m having problems both in real life and in writing itself. Making long chapters is beginning to be very taxing for me, whose mind tend to wander here and there most of the time.

I’ve told you this before and some of you have kindly answered my question, therefore I’ve decided to make each chapters shorter than usual. I used to produce 5k-7k words each chapter, and it’s VERY tiring for me. From now on my chapters will be 1k-2k in length, more if I get lucky, and I hope that you can still like my story despite that. Updates will perhaps be faster as well; mostlikely once every two or three weeks.

[please-salt-the-door]

17 Demons Dean x Reader (part 1?)

  Type: angst I guess   Summary: you fight a lot of demons Dean x reader    also let me know if you want more parts

  Slashing and fighting is all I could really think about at this moment. Not a second have I ever felt regret of coming here. Not even after all of the demon bodies on the ground. I must say that they hit me with what they had, unfortunately it was only what was in their pockets. They hadn’t prepared because they didn’t know I was coming. Usually I do the research and simple hunts of ghosts in the town. But Sam and Dean were out. I had not once asked for Cas to help. I mean the body count on the ground was too much. I knew one of them escaped.

  I never slowed down to count them. I know that there was 12. I finished placing the trap around the building. I can say that my plan had worked pretty well. I researched one of Crowly’s old hideouts and sent a message to the demons in the area to go there. There was supposed to be a bomb to rid of them all. But that didn’t work out so well. All of these demons were terrorizing the townspeople. They hadn’t even changed their vessels after carrying out the crimes.

  How stupid though. Not even replacing the vessels after the crimes. Their faces were caught on film. I mean it was a little suspicious. I knew better than the demons to actually let themselves be that easy to catch. But there were already so many dead. I was in the midst of stabbing a demon and then some doors flew open. And in cam even more demons. Shit.

  I thought I was sooo smart and planned this out. Maybe that one that left, got more. Well now there were too many. My breathing is getting very heavy now. But I still kept punching demons. Killing them off slowly one by one. But it still feels like there is too many. I don’t think that I can actually handle this. Oh nooo. Now I am stuck! I am not sure what to do. I’m sure Sam and Dean have been stuck in this situation. I feel my arm get hurt. I just know I will have bruises and cuts across my arms and hands. A few small ones on my face. Then I remember something.

  I could exercise them. I start the chant and keep fighting the demons trying to stop me. But for them it is failing. I am just chanting it louder. A few drop to their knees and cover their ears, attempting to block it out. Now it is easier to fight them and kill them off. I knew that if I had starting reciting it then the demons would get weaker and I would be able to kill them. 3 left. Killed it. 2 left. Dead. 1 left. They still came running at me and knocked me off of my feet. I dropped my knife. Typical move. I pushed them and rolled over them. Punch after punch. I kept throwing punches at the demon. Everything that I was ever mad or sad about, came back to my mind.

  I stood up and grabbed the knife while the demon got a hold onto my leg. I don’t know who they think they were, but they were trying to bite me. I got down and kick as hard as I could, just like a little kid throwing a tantrum. I just kept kicking and broke free. I heard the doors being broke open again and I felt my fingertips graze the handle of my blade. I just drove it straight through the vessel. The demon glowed the fell limp.

  “Y/N? What in the hell happened here…” I heard Dean’s voice. I slowly turned around and saw his worried expression. I almost forgot how much he would kill me for doing something like this. Sam was just standing there, counting the bodies.

  “Did you do all of this?” Sam asked. I nodded. I sat down on the ground. Sudden realization of pain hit me and I started crying. I was still frustrated because they didn’t listen to me when I told them that there was a bunch of demons looking for trouble. Dean dropped his blade and and ran to me giving me a big hug and muttering things like are you okay and what happened.

  “This is what happens when you don’t think there is a case of demons.” I said to him. He kept apologizing and he helped me up and took me to the car. On the way out I stopped in the doorway. I counted the bodies.

  “17.”

  “Hey Y/N I love you okay. Never do this again without us. You could have died. I mean 17 demons damn. But you have to be careful please.” He kissed my forehead and put me in the car and made Sam drive while Dean was in the back with me. I could have died… But I did it anyway. Why was I so careless? And why would they waste so many demons just for me? Am I important and I don’t even know it? I will have a talk with Cas when I get back… Seriously… 17 demons. How? Why?

----------- Hey guys! Does anyone want a part two of this? Shoot me an inbox and let me know if it was good please.