#had to go back and consult posts of us all spiraling that Lando went to the farm before max

[cecoeur]

Daniel with Lando and Martin Garrix in Perth January 2024

[onwardintolight]

Han x Leia, ESB, Trip to Bespin, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff

Summary: ESB from Leia's POV. A journey from despair to hope, a blossoming, an opening to vulnerability and love.

Warnings: Deals with some heavy themes, incl. working through trauma, depression, self-harm, attempted sexual assault. Each chapter will be individually warned.

Note: I’m currently in the process of reposting the first nine chapters here in full, since when I first wrote this fic, I only shared links to the chapters on AO3 and FFN. I will try to post at least weekly. In the meantime, if you’d prefer to binge-read it, the entire fic is posted in full on AO3 and FFN.

Part: Masterlist | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | Epilogue

~~~

Puffy clouds of rose gold melted into orange, and violet striations marked the sky as if placed there by brushstroke. It was dawn, and the city in the clouds shone with reflected colors as the Falcon finally made its approach.

Leia’s breath would have caught at Bespin’s extraordinary beauty if it hadn’t already been shallow with worry.

Two small ships with twin pods, presumably from the Cloud City security force, flanked their side threateningly. A curt voice came over the comm.

“No, I don’t have a landing permit,” Han repeated. Annoyance filled his voice as he slowed down his enunciation in an effort to get the message across. “I’m trying to reach Lando Calrissian!”

Without warning, the Falcon jolted as the cloud cars fired on them. Leia sucked in a breath, alarmed at the unexpected escalation. Great, she thought.

“Wait a minute!” yelled Han into the comm. “Let me explain!”

“You will not deviate from your present course,” said the voice.

“Rather touchy, aren’t they?” remarked Threepio as he stood behind Chewie.

Leia glanced at Han. “I thought you knew this person.”

«You think he’s still angry at us for leaving him during that job on Socorro?» Chewie asked.

“Well, that was a long time ago; I’m sure he’s forgotten about that,” Han muttered.

Leia was not comforted. She glared at Han, biting her tongue to avoid saying something she would regret.

“Permission granted to land on Platform Three-Two-Seven,” one of their escorts said.

“Thank you!” Han growled. He paused, sensing Leia’s spiraling unease. “There’s nothing to worry about,” he insisted. “We go way back, Lando and me.”

“Who’s worried?” Leia replied dryly.

Following the cloud cars, they wove through the orange twilight into the still-shadowed city. Lights gleamed out of a hundred towers. Cloud City’s people were awakening and beginning their day; she could see their silhouettes in the windows as they passed, moving here and there. Homing in on the landing platform they were being directed towards, Han and Chewie began the landing cycle, and soon, for the first time in three weeks, they were on the ground. The sigh of the ship as it came to rest had a certain air of finality to it.

Wordlessly, the four of them rose and headed towards the boarding ramp, strapping on their weapons as they went. Han stopped her on the way, taking hold of her shoulders. “It’ll be all right,” he murmured. “I promise.” He gave her a quick kiss; she suspected it was as much to reassure himself as it was her.  She wanted to believe his words, but every sense was on edge, the warning klaxons in her head growing steadily louder. This was not helped by the fact that when they descended the boarding ramp, they found only shut doors and an eerie silence.

“Oh! No one to meet us,” Threepio exclaimed.

Leia shook her head, stopping at the bottom of the ramp. “I don’t like this.”

“Well, what would you like?” Han turned around to face her, exasperation finally getting the better of him.

“They did let us land,” the droid commented.

“Look, don’t worry,” Han said, reaching out a hand to pacify her. “Everything’s going to be fine; trust me.”

Leia set her lips in a straight line. Before she could reply, however, they heard the unmistakable sound of a door sliding open. Turning to look down the length of the platform, they saw two people—one of whom wore a cape—consulting with each other in the doorway before walking out onto the platform, followed by a cadre of guards.

“See? My friend,” Han said. Taking two steps forward, he paused by Chewie. “Keep your eyes open, huh?” he muttered to the Wookiee before striding out to meet the approaching party. “Hey!” he called, spreading out his arms in welcome.

The caped man, leading the group, did not do the same. “Why, you slimy, double-crossing, no-good swindler!” he said coldly. “You’ve got a lot of guts coming here, after what you pulled.”

«Uh-oh,» growled Chewie.

The man approached Han. Without warning, he lunged—except it turned into a hug instead. He started laughing. “How’re you doing, you old pirate? So good to see you!” His tone had completely changed. “I never thought I’d get to see you again! Where’ve you been?” At a signal from his aide, who appeared to be a cyborg, the guards left.

«Just like old times!» Chewie remarked cheerfully.

“He seems very friendly!” said Threepio.

“Yes,” grumbled Leia. “Very friendly.” She followed the other two as they went to to join Han in the middle of the platform.

“What are you doing here?” Lando was still quizzing Han.

“Repairs. I thought you could help me out.”

Lando frowned. “What have you done to my ship?”



“Your ship? Hey, remember you lost her to me fair and square.”

“And how are you doing, Chewbacca?” Lando turned to greet the Wookiee. “You still hangin’ around with this loser?”

«Better than hanging around with you!» Chewie teased, though Leia didn’t think Lando could understand him.

All of a sudden, Lando’s attention was entirely on her. “Hello, what have we here?” he crooned.

Leia bit back her anger at being called a “what.” Just… give him a chance, she told herself. Maybe he’s not so different from Han.

“Welcome! I’m Lando Calrissian, the administrator of this facility. And who might you be?”

“Leia.” She forced a smile, and the once-scoundrel bent down to kiss her hand. Her eyes met Han’s; she saw a flash of jealousy there, which made her feel rather gratified.

“All right, all right,” Han said good-naturedly, grabbing Leia’s hand as he moved between them and escorted her towards the door. “You old smoothie!” She smiled, the tension that had been building for days finally beginning to melt into the background. Whatever lay ahead, they would at least have a day or two together in this beautiful city. She intended to enjoy it to the fullest of her ability.

____

Lando led them through the elegant, curved white halls of Cloud City. There were picturesque plazas and beautiful works of art seemingly around every bend, and with a pang, Leia realized it reminded her of home.

There were no dark, foggy rooms in sight.

“How’s the gas mine?” Han was asking Lando. “Is it paying off for you?”

“Oh, not as well as I’d like,” he answered. “We’re a small outpost and not very self-sufficient. And I’ve had supply problems of every kind. I’ve had labor difficulties—what’s so funny?”

Han was laughing. “You! Listen to you. You sound like a businessman, a responsible leader. Who would have thought that, huh?”

Lando seemed pleased at the backhanded compliment. He stopped, turning to face his old friend. “You know, seeing you sure brings back a few things.”

“Yeah.” Han put a hand on his shoulder.

They shared a meaningful look, then Lando led them on. “Yeah, I’m responsible these days.”

Han glanced back, catching Leia’s eyes. She smiled at him and nodded her approval. There was something about Lando’s charm that made her uncomfortable, but setting that aside, he really did seem decent and respectable. See? she told herself. Han’s right. You need to stop worrying.

“…it’s the price you pay for being successful,” Lando continued, and he and Han shared a laugh.

Lando pointed out potential places of interest as they passed: restaurants, shops, entertainment. Han and Leia’s eyes slid towards each other again. Her mind wandered, imagining her hand in his as they enjoyed a dinner under the light of candledroids or attended a play in the Nabooian theater.

Their guest suite was at the top of a central tower, not far from the landing platform. It consisted of a circular lounging chamber from which other rooms branched off. On one side of the chamber was a great, long window with a spectacular view over the city; on the other side were several doors leading to a breakfast room, a refresher, a smaller second lounge, and a bedroom with its own private refresher.

Lando had taken his leave after showing them to their suite, but not before offering to provide them with anything that would make their stay more comfortable. Leia requested some fresh clothes, and soon several elegant and perfectly fitted gowns were brought up along with a hammock for Chewie, which he hung up in the second lounge.

After hanging up her clothes, Leia took a closer look at the bedroom. In the middle of the chamber was a very large bed with impossibly soft-looking pillows and silky sheets. When was the last time she had slept in a proper bed? She imagined curling up next to Han on it, drifting off to sleep.

Of course, there were… other possibilities such a bed could offer. Possibilities that were highly tempting. She swallowed hard. Suddenly, she felt much more uncertain about her decisions.

Hearing a sound behind her, she turned to find Han, staring at the bed with a similar expression. His eyes flickered up and found hers. For one long moment they gazed at each other in silence.

Leia bit her lip. “Han….” she trailed off.

He swallowed. Then blinking, he squared his shoulders. “Uh, Chewie ’n me are gonna go back and get our travel bags from the Falcon.”



Leia nodded, shaking off her thoughts. She followed him back out into the main lounge and quickly began making a checklist of things for them to bring back from the ship.

After a moment, she stopped short, frowning. Something didn’t feel right. Her eyes darted around the room, a sinking feeling in her heart. “Where’s Threepio?”