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violetszone · 1 year ago

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Rainbow Baby

Charles x fem!reader

From this request

Summary: You had an accident and miscarriage when you were 3 months pregnant, but only Charles and a few relatives both of you knew that you were pregnant at the time of the accident. When you became pregnant again two years after the accident, this time you decided to not hide your baby and what happened in that accident.

WARNINGS: miscarriage, mental and physical problems, too much angst

A/n: not edited writing...

It was the third month of your pregnancy, although your belly was not very clear, certain people around you knew about her pregnancy. You were glad when Charles suggested not to explain the baby to the outside world until you felt comfortable, you didn't want all eyes on you.

Charles was always there for the baby and was very attentive to you even in the first months.That's why when you said you were going out to dinner with your friends tonight, he insisted you not go.You kept talking to tell him it's okay and you're feeling fine today.

You were so excited when you finally persuaded Charles that you kissed him and left the house and drove off in your car. Everything happened so fast, even before you could tell there was a car coming out of the tunnel, you heard a crash and your car started to drift towards the wall at the tunnel entrance.The last thing you remembered was siren sounds.

Charles was with you when you opened your eyes. He was in a mess, when he saw you, he smiled for a moment and got up from where he was sitting on the hospital bed next to you and sat on the hospital bed, held your hand, you were looking around trying to understand where you were.

You frowned and the first thing you did when you realized that you were in the hospital was to put your free hand on your stomach and look at your stomach, your eyes filled with tears. Charles shook your hand and hugged you tightly as you started to cry "I'm sorry honey, I'm so sorry"

Losing your baby didn't affect you and Charles very well, but thanks to the love between the two of you, you were able to recover.It had been very difficult, but you believed that without Charles it would have been a wound that would never have healed.

Two years after the accident, the thing happened that made you both fully recover. You were pregnant again.This time you were both more sensitive, you knew this Rainbow baby would change your life.

This time you didn't want to hide the baby from the fans because you didn't want to make an effort to hide yourself and you didn't think you could mentally handle it.Charles, of course, supported you in this decision, he was aware that the last two years had a heavy impact on you rather than on him, so he stood by you in every decision as always.

For this reason, you prepared a joint post on Instagram and announced your rainbow baby to the whole world.Of course, within a few hours, the whole world was shaken by the news because most fans knew very well what a rainbow baby was.

Everyone seemed to go crazy, both of you started getting notifications and calls on your phones like crazy. You were expecting such a reaction but it hurt your heart that people were so knowledgeable about it because it probably meant that they experienced it too.

Charles was sitting next to you and when you looked into his eyes you saw again that man who could burn the whole world for you he took your hand and smiled at you "Charles, I think we should tell them, we can't keep it to ourselves any longer, they need to know what happened in that accident. After all, they know our baby now, I'm ready now I feel strong enough to talk about it"

Charles asked several times if you were sure about it, and each time you told him that you were fine and that it was important that you explain it.Starting from being actually pregnant at the time of the accident, you explained clearly how you collected yourself in these two years after the miscarriage and what your psychology was like.What Charles and you went through, what mental difficulties you struggled with, everything was in this article and you didn't hesitate to publish it, these were facts, you went through hard times.

Written from the point of view of the two of you, you explained what Rainbow baby means as a small footnote for those who don't know, while publishing this statement about what you've been through for two years, this baby was connecting you to life again.

You wanted not to answer the phone for a while after the statement was published because you kept thinking that there were people going through it and how hard it was for them too. Charles hugged you all day, you read books together and tried to stay away from everything electronic

When you looked at your phone in the evening, the news was really everywhere, everyone was sending support messages.Most women who have experienced this have sent you messages and the reason for your current sentimentality is that you were crying when you read their stories.

you felt more relaxed and now you were ready to live a new life when your rainbow baby was born.You could really feel the support that everyone sent, especially you were very grateful to Charles, who did not leave your side even though he was not well during these two years.This baby would be a new hope for all of you.

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the-kingshound · 5 months ago

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Warning inane ramble incoming, it’ll probably be annoying I apologize. (*_ _)人 I spent the last several days reading every post here. I managed to convince myself to start liking some (sorry about that I’m sure it was annoying to get all those notifications) I have this weird thing where I get nervous about liking older posts cuz I mean it’s been a long time and it’s unprompted so that’s weird right? It feels weird like I’m doing something wrong or I’m being annoying, I considered reblogging too but somehow that felt worse? Sorry I am not good with social rules they confuse me both on and offline Idk my brain is wrong and I’m just a nervous socially anxious snail. (＞﹏＜)

Anyways just wanted to gush about how much I love it here and I’m never leaving (´꒳`) ♡ First and foremost Yniol has a special place in my heart they will forever be my favorite bestie (*＾ω＾)人(＾ω＾*), yes I am biased as my partner is grey and though they don’t play IFs they were thrilled to learn about your character! Also your writing is just phenomenal, your fans are fun and creative, your characters give such warm and positive energy I love them so much they’re perfect, the inclusivity is such chefs kiss ( ´ з `) 🤌🏻✨, the angst is delicious, the fluff is so sweet and comforting, the spice is ... very blush-worthy (⁄ ⁄>⁄ ▽ ⁄<⁄ ⁄). This has been a journey I laughed, I cried, I giggled, and I blushed and I have enjoyed every bit of it from pasta discourse to Moldien cult wars to Arthur bunnies, I’ve had the most wonderful time. Now my mind is gonna be filled with Arthurian stuff for months my maladaptive daydreaming is having the time of its life I have a road trip next week and I’m so looking forward to just staring out a window for 6+hours while my Hound's just alternating daydream adventures with the cast o(≧▽≦)o. Also speaking of your amazingly wonderful, sweet, and supportive cast I have decided my (though I love them all) favorite poly pairings are Arthur/Morien and whole crew polycule I’d sell my soul for those but I 100% understand why you can’t really do that. I don’t think I have the endurance in me to code a single poly no matter how much I wish it so the fact you’re doing any let alone several is just god tier you are awe inspiring.

Alas I have rambled far far to much I wish I could be more eloquent in expressing just how much I enjoyed experiencing all of this but for now this is the best I can do (╥ω╥). Thank you for sharing your wonderful work it’s truly a gift to experience. ଘ(੭ˊ꒳ˋ)੭✧ I wish you wealth, health, and all the best in all your creative endeavors. -🐌

No, please please do not apologize. You made my entire week <3 This ask is straight up going into the folder where i keep my motivation to write and to be just a little proud of my work, thank you so so much for sending it.

For anyone having the same thoughts about liking or reblogging old posts: please do it. When I see the notifications, get very giddy and pleased, and I hope you are enjoying the food. Liking, and especially reblogging things, even more so if you add tags and reactons, not only fills me with glee but it also reminds me of old asks that I want to reblog again for new followers. So yeah, I love it, please feel free to go on a liking/reblogging spree!

You are so relatable for the maladaptive daydreaming (this game was absolutely born out of my own mental movies), I wish I could speed up the writing and editing for the next update so you can read it while you travel but I'm afraid it's a lost cause (I have been working on things, even now, but I am currently rewriting like half of it and while it is way better it takes sooo much time and energy). Knowing my characters and story are in someone's thoughts it the best kind of reward I need. I will never likely monetise this game, so this is the thing I wish to leave people with, and I hope the characters can be comforting and keep you company <3

You have no idea how much I would love to write the full polycule... maybe one day :,) But don't lose hope for the Arthur/Morien poly yet, as I decided to cancel the Gwyar/Morien poly and now I have a potentially free slot. In any case, awww, please know that this ask made me so happy today and will be in my thoughts as tkh is in yours.

Please have a lovely day and a lovely week and also a very lovely trip! Thank you again so so much!!

#lovely adorable anons #also never apologize for sening asks in anon i understand #i do the same #(anxiety)#love you!!#anon love

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messrsrobyn · 3 months ago

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Ok nobody I’ve asked seems to give me a direct answer so I figured I’d just voice all my concerns with you? You don’t have to answer everything 😭😭

When it comes to fandom friends how do you move from just being moots to being friend friends? I saw a video you made about it when somebody had asked you a similar question but I’m really struggling with getting them to feel like friends and not just random accounts in my phone.

I’ve seen videos people have made and you guys are sharing jokes in the comments. I saw video of 3 girls that said “Us when anyone hates on mesrsrobyn” and you said like “Fan behaviour” which obviously shows that you’re actually their friend and you’re just teasing them.

Also how do you find people who are ok with you not responding all the time (😭😭😭) I’m just genuinely not active very much on any forms of social media. I was in a marauders gc and I was really happy thinking I was gonna make fandom friends but because I wasn’t active all the time they had a bunch of inside jokes I didn’t get and I kinda felt like an outsider.

Most of the people I see you interacting with online seem really cool and fun, so I’m just wondering where to find people like that. Just genuinely from posting?

I’m sure I’ve worded all this so strangely but honestly I’m sad because I’ve been in this fandom for 3 years in November and I have made no real lasting friendships. I feel like you yapping so much LOL

IK THE VIDEO 😭 my besties yup !!

this is long so i'm putting the lil dashy line thingy

i have v limited advice actually bc i don't think i've initiated many of my friendships in fandom?? despite how little i stfu, i'm a shyyy person. i get scared to text first.

my BIGGEST bit of advice is take. it. off. the. app.

i try to get discords mainly (bc i use it most) but once you take it off of tiktok or wherever you met it feels so much less like mutuals. like yes, we met in fandom but now we are discussing our plans for the day and getting to know each other as Robyn not Messrsrobyn.

i made most of my friends from posting !! i made my account as a whole to meet people and (ive been flagging a bit recently actually but) i always try to reply to EVERYONEEE. so most of my friends were just people that commented that i replied to, their name kept popping up in my notifs? boom. friends. one of them said they loved crimson rivers so next time i found an edit i sent it to them.

ALSO !! i'm so bad at replying.

servers im more active in i think, but just... dms? not very good at all. anyone that doesn't respect that or gets mad? 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️ i dont want them as a friend.

like it's frustrating i know! i hate the amount of lil red bubbles i have on every single app but it doesn't mean i value my friends any less and they all know that <3 we don't always have the time or capacity to reply and that's okie.

i tend to get it out the way immediately and test the waters. just a lil "btw i'm really sorry for my reply times! i'm not the best at it but feel free to double text me as much as you want" and always make sure that i follow up on everything that's been said whilst i wasn't replying.

im rambling a bit i fear but the right friends won't get mad at it, or make you feel less important bc of it. it might just take some time to find them but You Will.

i feel like i havent actually given much advice?? i'm genuinely so so so lucky to have found the friends that i have but i did nothing. i think i said in a few of my tiktoks rightttt at the beginning that my dms were open for friends and then i think? hope? that i've kept that energy going of like someone that anyone can message and i'll get back to them (at some point 😭 my tiktok dms are a mess but thats an issue for future robyn) so i've been able to just sit back and naturally find them.

i live by the motto of "the worst they can do is not reply" every time i send a comment or dm to a new person

we're all just losers reading fanfiction !! we all want lil friends to talk to about it so interaction and reaching out gives us that BUT it's the taking it off of the app that takes it from mutuals to friends imo.

this is UNNECESSARILY LONG omg. i never know how to answer these ones but i hope it helps a lil? <3 social interaction is NOT my finest point. potentially my worst i fear.

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scarisd3ad · 8 months ago

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Superstar | football player!Joel miller x popstar!reader

Chapter six - obsessed

Previous >> next

Masterlist

Taglist

Warnings - mentions of sex, cursing, body image talk, insecurity

Summary - when you find out about a certain football player showing up at your tour you decide to reach out just because of all the dating rumors, but what if thoughs rumors turn into reality?

A/N - it’s finally here, sorry for it being so late! But now that I’ve gotten this out of the way I’m aiming for the first chapter of jump then fall to be out sometime next week! re posting this chapter because my computer deleted the edited copy and I didn't notice till months after it had been published.

The next day I woke up with an empty imprint of where Ollie had been sleeping, Joel's arms wrapped around me in a comforting hold, and about 5 million notifications. Mostly notifications from being tagged in posts and stories, but there were some from friends and family too. Like one from Tara with a screenshot of a 'TMZ' article titled 'popstar y/n l/n photographed with new boyfriend Dallas Cowboys star football player Joel Miller on a post-game drive' paired with a dramatic open-mouthed emoji. I rolled my eyes and sent back a 'stfu' before dropping my phone back onto the mattress.

I turned, hearing the bed frame creak quietly as I admired Joel's sleeping figure. He was lying on his stomach with one arm lazily wrapped around me. His hair was messy, but he still somehow looked flawless. Joel stirred as his phone, which lay on the nightstand on top of his wireless charger, began to ring. It flashed a few times, showing off a picture of his mother and him paired with the contact's name 'momma'. Unfortunately, the phone stopped ringing before Joel could fully wake up, letting him fall back into sleep.

"Joel," I whispered as I took my hand that wasn't tucked underneath myself to shake him. He groaned, his eyes not even opening as he hummed a quiet "What?" as his arm that was once lazily wrapped around me pulled me closer. "When's your mom 'sposed to drop the girls off?" I whispered as his head ducked into the crook of my neck, pressing lazy kisses to the length of it. "Dunno. She has a key. She'll let them in when they get here." My neck muffled his voice as he took a small chunk of neck flesh into his mouth and began to suck at it. "Joel," I giggled as I pushed him away, "can't leave marks, can't have any of that at any of my shows." He rolled his eyes as he pressed his lips to mine.

We were interrupted by the sound of childlike giggles running up the stairs. "Speak of the devil," Joel chuckled as he sat up, preparing to greet his girls. The door was thrown open, revealing Sarah and Ellie. "Daddy!" both squealed as they launched themselves into the bed. "We had pancakes for dinner last night!" Sarah said as she leaned her head against her father's chest. Both girls excitedly told their father what they had done with their grandparents the previous night as he took turns pressing kisses to each one's forehead. I felt like I didn't belong during moments like this, family bonding. I wasn't their mother who could sit back fondly watching with a small smile. I was just some stranger lying in their father's bed. They hardly knew me, and I hardly knew them. Thankfully, a call from my mother was able to whisk me away.

"Hi Mom," I said, standing in the bathroom, phone pressed to my ear as I stared into the mirror. "How are you doing?" she asked, her voice low as if she was trying not to wake someone. "Fine...I'm doing fine." I had another 3 shows in Houston next weekend, so that weekend and that entire week were just about relaxation and mentally preparing for my next 3 shows, which were very physically and mentally demanding sometimes. "Your dad saw you on TV last night. He got real excited seein' you." I wished every older man in his 50s felt like that about me right now. Almost every man from the ages of 16 to 70 was pissed off at me cause they 'saw me too much' last night. I wished I didn't let it get to me, but it did. I put up this strong front like no one's able to hurt my feelings but everything they were saying about me did because, for some odd reason, men thought not liking me meant they were allowed to call me a slut and threaten to kill me if I showed up the next game. I was just glad Joel hadn't seen them yet. "Yeah?" I let out an awkward cough. "Yeah...your dad and I are trying to make it up to Houston next weekend. Dad wants to see you perform again." I smiled, though my father never understood one thing about my interest in music and songwriting, he was always my biggest supporter. "Really?"

"Y/n can you hurry up? I've really got to pee!" I heard Ellie shout from outside the door as my mother asked, "Where are you?" I sighed, unlocking the door and letting Ellie rush in as I rushed out. "Um Joel's house...but I've gotta go, alright? Love you."

I walked back into Joel's bedroom. Both girls were now gone, leaving their father alone to scroll Twitter and find out for himself what was the trending hashtag of the day. #fucky/n. How original. How old were they? This was all immature, coming mostly from men over the age of 20. He was looking down at his phone, brows furrowed in a scowl, finger still swiping. He heard my footsteps and looked up, letting out a quiet "oh." I sighed, arms wrapping around my body. "Who was that?" he asked. "My mom," I replied as I walked over to the bed and took a seat. "You don't gotta go to any of my games again...if you don't want to," he whispered. His head cocked to the side as my brows furrowed. He interpreted my sense of confusion as an answer and said, "Y/N, you're getting death threats."

I shrugged my shoulders. "I've been getting them for the last 5 years. I normally just ignore them." He sighed loudly as if he didn't understand my way of thinking, before changing the subject. "You stayin' for breakfast?" I shook my head. "No. Gotta studio session this morning..." Joel nodded. "Can you keep Ollie for a few hours? The session is early and I'm not gonna have enough time to drop him off at home."

I was in my car, driving down the freeway when I got a call from Will. I had met William early on in my music career. For years, Will and I had been writing music together for his albums and mine, and sometimes even a duet here and there.

"you're late," he said, his voice almost drowned out by the sound of a few people in the background. "I know, sorry. Got held up at Joel's." I could almost hear the eye roll through the phone. Will wasn't the biggest fan of my past boyfriends. It had started with Will hating Andy; he must've seen the red flags before I did. Then he hated Harry because of his reputation of being a 'womanizer', and then there was Tom who he hated simply because he could practically see through him. And now the tradition had gone on to Joel. He didn't have a reason to hate Joel yet, but he'd find one eventually, he always did. "I know, I know, alright. I'll be there in like 5 minutes, okay?"

"Alright, okay, see you in 5," he hung up the phone, leaving me to drive the rest of the way to the studio in silence.

When I get to the studio, a crowd of paparazzi is outside the door waiting for me, and Will is standing by the door, holding it open for me. Will's hair is a lively shade of blonde, and it falls in abundant, floppy locks that twist into gentle curls at the ends. His glasses, while stylish, are slightly oversized for his face, and they add a charming touch of quirkiness to his appearance. His voice is deep, and carries a prominent british accent, which seems to contrast with his facial features. "morning," he says with a nod as I walk into the studio, letting the door slam shut behind me. "Got anything prepared?" he asks as we walk down to the studio we had booked for the day. "A little thought you could help me finish the rest," I say as Will pushes the door open, letting me walk in first before he does.

"Alright, let me hear it," he says as he sits beside a bunch of sound equipment. I unlock my phone and open the voice memo app before playing the most recent voice memo, ' Sparks fly? ' From a few nights ago.

The voice memo starts with me playing guitar before I start the first lyric, "The way you move is like a full-on rainstorm, and I'm a house of card. You're the kind of reckless that should send me running, but I kinda know that I won't get far," will nods as he pauses the memo before unpausing it and letting it play the rest through "and you stood there in front of me, just close enough to touch. Close enough to hope you couldn't see what I was thinking of. Drop everything now, meet me in the pouring rain. Kiss me on the sidewalk, take away the pain. Cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile. Get me with those brown eyes, baby, as the lights go down. Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around. Cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile," The memo ends, and will look over at me.

"Kay, I like it. What were the cords you were playing?" shit, I hadn't written them down like I usually did before studio sessions. "Um fuck, I don't know...I think I played A, F, C, and G? Maybe those," he picks up his guitar that had been discarded beside him and begins to play almost identically to how I was in the memo. "Aright was the end the chorus?" I nod a quiet "mhm." "Alright, you got anything else?" I nod before saying, "Yeah, keep on playing." He continues playing his guitar, trying to fill in the missing pieces to continue on the song's instrumental part. "My mind forgets to remind me, your bad idea. You touch me once and it's really something. You find that I'm even better than you imagined I would be. I'm on guard for the rest of the world, but with you, I know it's no good."

We finished off the rest of the song, tweaking some lyrics here and there and even recording the music before we decided to head out. I'm in my car driving by 11:30 when I get a call. The caller ID shows up on the screen on my dashboard. Joel <33. I answered the phone call, and Joel immediately started talking. "Hey baby, what you doin'?" he asks. I can hear him inhaling and puffing out air, letting me know he's probably out on his back porch smoking a cigarette. "Driving. Whatcha need?" he sighs out "nothin' really. Just wanted to know if you want to stay for dinner t'night" I laugh as my car comes to a slow stop at a red light. "Yeah, sure, what you guys havin' tonight?"

"Probably pizza doesn't feel like cooking. The girls will be happy with that," he says, punctuating his sentence with a loud inhale before a matching exhale a few seconds later. "So, how long do you think you'll be?" I hum, pondering a bit as I hit the gas, following after the car in front of me. "maybe 7 minutes? I'm a few lights away," I say. I hear him slide open his sliding glass door and presumably walk inside. "Alright, I'll let you go and Rangle up these kids before you get here. See ya in a bit." The almost piercing beeps as he hangs up fill my ears before my phone begins playing the song it had been playing before Joel's call.

7 minutes later, I pulled up in front of Joel's house to see him sitting on the porch, cigarette hanging from his mouth, while the girls sat on the driveway drawing with chalk. I chose to park on the street so I wouldn't disturb Sarah and Ellie. I leave the car, shoving my phone into one pocket. "y/n!" Sarah leaps up from the pavement, dropping the chalk stick in her hand before running towards me. Tiny arms wrap around my body as she hugs me. "Are you staying for dinner? Daddy ordered pizza," she says excitedly as Joel walks up behind her. "Go on and play with your sister, Babygirl. Let me and y/n talk, alright?" Sarah pulls away, nodding, before running back towards her sister.

"Hey, sweetheart," he says before pressing a short but sweet kiss to my lips. "Pizza'll be here in about 10 minutes. I ordered it right after I hung up with you," he says as he places the cigarette he had pulled from his lips a few seconds ago, slotting it against his upper and lower lip. I nod as I lean into his body. "How was your thing," he asks, arm wrapping around my waist as we walk back towards his front porch. "good," I reply simply as he unwraps his arm around my waist and sits down. Somehow, being in a relationship with Joel Miller was so easy I forgot how my life used to be. My entire world now revolved around football games, touring, Joel, and his girls. I almost forgot that 3 months ago, I was still rotting in my bed, sobbing over the ending of a relationship I thought was going to be forever. The moment I took one step into Joel's life, I was sucked in and hoped to God I'd never be pushed out.

"y/n! can you come draw with us?" Sarah asks from her spot on the pavement. I look at Joel, giving him a look that almost asks, 'Is that okay?' he nods, saying, "Go, we'll talk later." I walk over and sit beside Sarah on the still-hot Texas pavement. Ellies sat across from us, so deep into her drawing that she didn't even look up to greet me. Her knees are scratched up, probably from the pavement, and her forearms and hands are covered in different dusty chalk colors. "Look at my drawing," Sarah says, pointing at a larger drawing to her right. 4 stick-figured people, 3 female, one male, and one stick-figured cat, are drawn to the left of the smaller stick-figured humans. Each is labeled 'Daddy,' 'y/n,' 'Sarah,' 'Ellie,' and 'Ollie.' I almost want to cry at how adorable it is. She smiles up at me, so proud of her work. I wanted to take a picture but decided to take one later.

I want to stay here forever, or at least have something similar to this forever. Joel sat puffing on his cigarette a few inches away, admiring from afar as I interacted with his children. Interactions that make him wish he could have met me first. Before the Barbara's, or Annas. Interactions that make me wish he was the man I met 7 years ago on a red carpet, wishing I hadn't spent 7 years delusionally praying for a ring from a man who fell less and less in love with me every day.

A car with a bright red and white Papa John's logo attached to the top pulls into the driveway. It's almost like the girls have a routine for pizza nights. They both jump up, leaving the chalk on the sidewalk and run into the house, squealing, "Pizza!!" as Joel snuffed out his cigarette against the pavement before walking up to the young brunette man with a wad of cash. I, similarly to the girls, discard the chalk on the pavement and walk inside. I wash my hands before meeting the two girls at the table. Their father already passing out slices.

"Cheese or pepperoni, Ellie?" Joel asks. Ellie, who sits up on her knees in the chair, says, "Both!" he shakes his head. "Nope, you won't eat it all, one or none. El's pick one," she pouts as her arms cross over her chest. "Peperoni," she mumbles under her breath as she sits back down on her butt. Joel nods before placing a slice of pepperoni pizza onto a red plastic plate and sliding it over to her. "Cheese," Sarah says before her father even asks her.

My elbows are on the table, and a half-eaten cheese pizza sits before me. This is something taken straight out of a movie, with the family sitting at the table casually talking about each other's days. Sarah told her dad about the funny joke her grandfather had told her last night. Joel chuckles, recalling the same joke being told to him more than 20 years ago when he was her age. It all felt so surreal. How could I be a part of this? I met these people less than 3 months ago and am already at family dinners. Sometimes, it makes me feel insecure; at moments, the thought of feeling so left out because this is not my family, even though I'm sitting at their family dinner. He's my boyfriend, but these are his children, not mine; I've known these people for less than 3 months and have only been actually dating Joel for one of those months.

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK.

Three loud, sharp knocks at the front door pull me from my thoughts. Joel sighed, dropping his slice of pizza before getting up and mumbling about how he'd 'be right back.' The dining room is silent as we hear Joel's hushed voice whispering to whoever is on the other side of the door. Sarah stood up slowly, walking over to the doorway so she could get a look at whoever was at the door. Ellie follows as usual. Monkey see, monkey do. A loud sequel-like shout makes me get up just in time to see Sarah running to the woman standing at the door. "Mommy!"

She looks like Sarah, with similar but tighter dark curls and a slightly darker complexion. She is beautiful. Her hair is pulled up in a ponytail, and though she's only wearing a tee shirt and jeans, she pulls it off fabulously. Though there seems to be not even one wrinkle on her face, I can tell she's closer in age to Joel than I'll ever be. Joel stood at the door uncomfortably as Sarah hugged her mother.

She's tall and thin, thinner than I'd ever thought about being. I could tell she was a model not only because of her stature but also because I'd seen her online. Probably an Instagram account, though I can't recall what platform I saw her on. "how've you been, sarbear?" she asks as she hugs her daughter tightly. "good," Sarah giggles as she steps away from her mother. The woman's eyes now fall to Ellie. "Hey Ellie, how have you been" Ellie shrugs from behind me. Being her usual Ellie self when it comes to people she doesn't know well.

Joel tilts his head almost as if he's saying, 'Come here.' I comply, walking over to him with Ellie trailing close behind. Joel wraps his arm around my waist as the woman's eyes fall on me. She looks me up and down about 2 times before smiling, "And you must be..." She drags out the 'e' sound of be until I answer back meekly, "Y/n...I'm y/n." She nods, a genuine smile on her face like she's actually happy to meet me, which is not a regular occurrence when an ex meets a new girlfriend.

"Nice to meet you, y/n. I'm Barbara, but you can just call me Barb," I nod, smiling, trying to match the genuine smile she had on her face because despite the millions of insecure thoughts swirling inside my head, I was genuinely happy to finally meet her. "How long have you two been together?" she asks, eyes flicking up to Joels. "Um, bout 3 months, right honey?" he says, a fake smile gracing his lips as he leans his head down a bit to press a kiss to my temple. "Yeah, about that," I say with a forced giggle as I lean into Joel a little more. Right at this moment, my insecurities flood back in, realizing I look nothing like her. She's thin, her body fills out right where it needs to, she has no hip dips, scars, or stretchmarks. she was perfect. If this was his ex, was I not his type, or was she not?

I was looking at her body and then comparing it to mine. Wondering if he liked her legs better than mine? Did he like her hips more? Her boobs? Her butt? Her eyes? It's almost like I'm looking at her like I want to be hurt. I don't know if I'd rather him tell me straightforwardly what he liked better or me sitting here riddled with my own insecurity. I wonder if she could smell the insecurities practically dripping off of me.

"Barb, why are you here?" Joel asks; she looks at him and just laughs his words off. "I'm here to see my daughter," she says with a scoff as her hands placed on her hips. Joel rolls his eyes. "it's not like you wanted to for the last 2 years." I know this is my cue to take the girls and let them have their 'adult conversation', so I pull away from Joel and say, "Common girls, let go play with Ollie?" both girls excitedly race upstairs towards Joel's room, where we had put Ollie while we ate.

I sat on the bed with the girls, my anxiety and insecurities festering inside me as the girls swooned over my cat. Would Barbara's reappearance randomly rekindle their relationship? Would I just be left in the dust? I know he was acting like he was annoyed with her downstairs, but I bet if she tried, he'd get back with her, right? He'd probably rather be with the mother of one of his children than me.

Sarah deserved a perfect family, a mom, a dad, a little sister. She didn't deserve whatever she had right now; I know Joel knew that. And I know he didn't want it to be this way. From what I heard, it seemed like she was not around a lot, and that was why he was so uncomfortable with her being here, but if she proposed to start their relationship again, I'd bet he'd agree. Her having him would mean she'd stay. Even if it wasn't for Sarah, she'd stay, and Sarah would have her mom back for good. There would be no need for some 'pretend mom' anymore. No more revolving door of girlfriends, though I desperately didn't want to be a part of that revolving door. Joel barges into the room, instructing his daughters to get ready for bed before slamming the door shut behind him. Leaving just him and me in the bedroom, alone.

"She's staying the night." He grumbled, arms wrapping around my waist as he pulled me close. I don't ask why, feeling as though it is none of my business. I hum with a slight nod. "I was just bout to head out then," I say, pressing my head into his shoulder. Our 'sleepovers,' if you even can call them that, typically only lasted one night, maybe till dinner the next night, but definitely not a second night. "You're leaving?" I can almost hear the frown on his lips. My brow furrowed in confusion. Normally, he wouldn't budge when I said I was leaving. A few kisses, and I'm usually off, but not tonight. His arms instinctively wrap tighter around my waist as if to say, 'Don't go.' but his ex is here, Sarah's mother. Isn't that awkward?

"I thought I'd just go...cause she-she's here. But if you don't want me to leave, I can stay," I whisper, pressing a few soft kisses to Joel's exposed neck. "Yeah," he mutters with a nod.

Barbara is on the couch downstairs, both girls are fast asleep in their beds, and I'm still awake scrolling mindlessly though Barbara's Instagram. she's got millions of pictures posted dating all the way back to 2014. she's nice, and I really like her I do but I can't help but feel jealous of her when I get posts from 2015. most with Joel who looks so much younger, I can tell she's pregnant in most of them.

I can't help but obsess over every part of her body that doesn't look like mine, wonder if he prefers her body over mine. I wonder how she was during their relationship. was she good in bed? better than me? did he prefer sleeping with her? did he ever think about her? was she still friends with his friends? did his mom like her better than me? and it doesn't make this any easier on me knowing he's got a kid with her and not with me. she's forever attached to him because of Sarah but me I'm disposable. his children aren't my blood, they aren't from my womb he could forget me easily if he really wanted too. he can't forget her because he sees her every time he looks at Sarah.

I'm trying to pick out something for me to hate her, and the only reason I've come up with is because she's basically abandoned Sarah. I guess I'm turning into will. the only photos posted of Sarah was 8 years ago on her birthday July 20th, 2015, baby Sarah all swaddled up being held by Barbara who laid in a hospital bed, Joel stood next to her admiration and joy gleaming in his eyes. then 2 months later Sarah being help by Joel with the caption 'favorite people'. then after than nothing radio silent it's like the baby disappears. people in the comments must've thought that too because every comment for the next few months of posts are along the lines of 'where's the baby?'. I'm guessing that's when she left.

I know Joel loves me, and that I'm probably going crazy, but I can't help but obsess over her. "you're still awake?" Joel slurs, voice deep from sleep. I turn off my phone immediately and turn so I'm facing him. one of his arms wraps around my waist pulling me closer to him. "can't sleep" I mutter as he presses open mouthed kisses to my neck and jawline.

even as he's practically sucking hickeys into my neck all I can think about is that he's probably done this to her, while she was laying on the same side I was as he whispered quiet 'I love You's into her neck. I can't help it as tears form in my eyes that are quickly blinked back. I can't let him know how insecure I actually am. I don't want him to know how insecure I've gotten in the last few hours because I know there's a chance, I could get hurt.

"wha's wrong? you're tense" he says pulling away from me. I freeze staring him in the eyes as his brows curl into a furrow. "what's wrong?" his left hand reaches from my cheek caressing it softly. "nothing" I mutter leaning into his soft touch. he hums questionably like he doesn't believe me but goes onto press his lips against my none the less.

I'm so obsessed that once Joel goes back to sleep, I can't help but scroll her page. I don't even know why I'm so obsessed, it's not like I'm ugly I'm just not anything like her so maybe that's why I'm letting it get to me. deep down I'm terrified that she's his type more than I am, that maybe her long legs, perfect hair, and confidence will sweep him right back off his feet and I'll be all alone again. I'm terrified of him leaving and stop loving me like Andy did. I don't want to rot in bed again over a man I have stupidly fallen head over heels in love with again. I don't want to this to end because of how deeply have fallen into this. I don't want him to fall onto my long list of ex-lovers and have yet another reason to be called a slut.

Taglist

@taylarxse @none-of-this-makes-any-sense @ktheunready @camixkami @skysmiller @mars743 @tylrswftss @alyhull @jenna-mcgraw19 @h4teh3x @lexloon @greensabereyesforcevictim @cozylibraries @celebrities-imagines @nezukos-number1fan @abbysgirll @marispunk @hopelessromantic727 @fairyain @joeldjarin

#fanfics #x reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller tlou #joel miller x reader #joel the last of us #joel miller #the last of us hbo #the last of us #tlou #the last of us show #pedro pascal #sarah miller #ellie williams #taylor swift #travis kelce

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clartidk123 · 20 days ago

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PFP COLORPICKED FROM @neverniko101 !!!!!!!!11

DO NOT INTERACT:

Pedophiles/MAPs/NOMAPs

Proshippers

Racists

LGBT+phobic

Terfs

New FNAF hater

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Just too say. Im very cheesy. So you will see not canon compliant stuff in my blog. Like Horror, Geno and Nightmare. I absolutely mutilated their canon personalities, so please if you dont like them that way, dont see my utmv content. And Springtrap and Deliah content.

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Creator of A Innocent Man, My FNAF swap au! credit for @muratandalina for giving me inspiration for it!

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Also DNI Michael Afton Apologists, i unironically hate him

Interact Michael haters too

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Please do not send me asks for donations

Here's why:

I have NO money to give you

I'm not a popular enough blog that I will give you any reach

I am a minor, and most of my followers are too

It makes me feel extremely guilty

Seeing pictures of injuries or hospitals etc are triggering for me (which are in most intro posts for this sort of thing)

They are always worded in a way that makes me feel like I am a murderer if I don't donate

It makes me feel uncomfortable

I said I don't want them, and my boundaries should be respected

I can't tell what is a bot and what isn't

I get a lot of spam from this. It is disappointing to see 10 new asks in my inbox just to be the same ask for donations over and over

Please, just respect the fact that I have said this.

Edits below (probably for the best if you read them too)

Edit: To all the people reblogging this, I'm sorry you have had to deal with this too. And yes, you can put this in your pinned post! Stay safe <3

Edit 2: I am pro Palestine and want to do everything I can to help but I'm not financially or mentally well enough to do much. I'm not in support of these people dying. Also, this post isn't just about Palestine. It's about ALL asks for donations. I'm not doing favouritism or racism. I just can't deal with it. Don't harass me for expressing boundaries.

Edit 3: Yes, this post might seem controversial. But I did literally make this for my own personal experience and didn't expect it to get more than 12 notes or so. You can agree with this post, pin this post, reblog this post, I don't care really. But don't add opposing views because quite frankly, it's none of your business. It's not my problem and I didn't mean for this post to get so many notes. Edit 2 mostly covered what I'm trying to say here, but don't use the number of notes as an excuse to fight me. I just want a peaceful Tumblr experience. Also, if you are reblogging this, don't trauma dump. I keep notifications on for this post so that I can block people harassing me before shit escalates, so I can see every reblog. You can screenshot and repost if you want to talk about your problems, but honestly its no better seeing people saying "I'm bankrupt and I just got kicked out by my family. I also have a history of abuse and those images are so triggering that I want to die". That doesn't help me. Make your own post to say that. Please

#fnaf #five nights at freddy's #undertale #utmv #no donations #sorry

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igotsnothing · 10 months ago

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I would love to see your backstage of making your vampire story <3 how you take your photos, chose perspectives, plan dialogues. please tell about your process

Hello, Friend of Mystery!!

Happy New Year and thank you for this ask! I'm a very small-time simmer in this corner of the interwebz filled with really talented and artistic simblrs, so I appreciate the question and interest!

Now, backstage! The method to the madness!

I usually have an idea: it's a loose- general idea of the direction and mood of the plot and dialogue. I don't like to be too specific unless I have a clear pose in mind for a scene. The thought process might be something like, "Lawrence and Julian are going to have a talk about vampires and technology in this scene, but act flirty with each other while they do so."

I go into the game to organize the setting and choose outfits/props. MCCC and Wonderful Whims are game-changers for posing. I'm a terrible builder, so I end up spending a lot of time browsing the gallery or searching for builds and objects by skilled folks. That part is often fun. Imagining the potential of lots and cc is a big part of gaining admission to the mental asylum expressing creativity in this game! Depending on the story I am working on, I may have mods like Underworld running to make sure it always looks like nighttime in my environments.

I use Reshade. It saves me time when editing and gives the images lovely depth, shading, and coloring that otherwise isn't there. I use different presets that I screw around with and tweak, but some favorites are Marigold and Senshi 4.0. Shadows and lighting are super important and can make or break a scene.

Once I have my image, I'll tweak it in Photoshop. Thanks to Reshade, it's usually just to quickly fix something, like clipping or rough edges.

I use Canva to organize my stories and write in the dialogue, but that's always dangerous because my inner middle-schooler wants to unleash a million stickers everywhere and ruin the edits. Ask me how many times I've stuck googly eyes on Lawrence and cackled at my own idiocy ingenuity!

I write while I am taking pictures. The sequence is: pose, take the picture, edit the image, write, and on to the next scene. I used to take all the images first and write afterward but found that sometimes a pose or screenshot would unexpectedly convey a different take on an idea, reaction, or character- or even inspire a different direction for the dialogue in a scene. It's easier for me to adapt the dialogue to an image than vice versa. I feel that writing as I go, while my game is open and ready gives me more flexibility and freedom to make changes.

???

Profit!

Ok, now-sorry- for real. I download everything, usually save it as a draft, wait a bit to see if I catch any big mistakes, and then post.

I actually struggle with serious self-doubt and a really mean inner critic, so posting here has been an exercise in self-acceptance. Still, I often avoid checking the notifications for a while after I post because I am that nervous. But I'm happier for sharing my stuff rather than not since I have had the chance to connect with so many fun and talented people here!

That's it!

Thank you for the ask on this first day of the year! It made me super happy! All the best to you!! ❤️

#answered asks #friend of mystery!#i know my skills are very limited #but creating and sharing makes me happy #and this ask made me feel like maybe it makes other folks a little happy too.#and that is what it is all about

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clare-with-no-i · 1 year ago

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20 questions for fic writers

Thank youuu @isahorcrux for the tag! it's been so long since I did one of these omigoddddd

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

37!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

392k. a bit crazy that the next chapter of theogony will put it over 400k. wauw!!!!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

publicly? Harry Potter and Percy Jackson. privately? I have an entire folder on my laptop called 'other shit' which is just one-shots for about fifteen different fandoms which I will never publish <3

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

god. this is really making me look at my statistics page which I actively try not to do lol. but it's one long day, I will carry you, color theory, foreigner's god, and growing pains. what can I say, the ppl love the they lived AUs!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to but I'm terrible about it which is a personal failing. I am so sorry. a new strategy that helps with this is that with my WIPs I try to respond right after the next chapter is posted so the person gets a nice lil notif and they have something else to read!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

oh hmmm. I guess the derelict art of letting go ending was angsty, but the whole thing was angsty. the end was bittersweet. maybe Invictus? ok new problem is I can't remember what I've written

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

foreigner's god! it's always clare why did you write all of that sad stuff into foreigner's god clare why did you write their deaths in such brutal detail clare I made my roommate read this and now she won't stop crying blah blah and it's never hey clare thanks for that nice ending scene where they're just married and lying in bed and vibing!!!!!!!!!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

yeah I do and I think under viking law I'm legally permitted to fistfight the commenters!!!!!!!!!!!! step up cowards!!!!!!!!!!!!

9. Do you write smut. If so, what kind?

god. lmao. yes I do! not often, though, I'm afraid. I tend to write an extremely narrow niche which is just exorcising trauma through sex and personal intimacy. I have no chill :)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

no I actually usually dislike crossovers lol. like theogony is a fusion of the outlander premise but I can assure you that James Alexander Malcom MacKenzie Frasier will not make an appearance. crossovers stress me out and I like to keep my little fictional words separate, if I can. ok edit: on further review I've concluded that I enjoy premise swaps (these are just AUs lol), but I can't deal with characters from multiple pieces of media interacting. it's too much. stay in your lanes, my god. this isn't super smash bros.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not a whole fic but someone basically copy and pasted a bunch of lines from NAR into their story and then a bunch of drama ensued. it sucked and I don't like looking at NAR because it reminds me of it. I still think about the anon who told me about it, though. they were so lovely and so caring and kind to me. I hope they're doing well.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! both with my permission and without. ha ha.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

babes I can't even finish the stories that I'm writing by myself

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

percabeth or zelink! or any doomed/short-lived/five seconds of screen time couple in a tv show or book. seriously idk why but I always fixate on the less important characters

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I renounce this question in the name of christ. amen.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I exist not with writing strengths or weaknesses but instead a secret third thing (stupidly recognizable style)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

see above

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I actually have a WIP where James lives in Spain to play quidditch and he speak Spanish in it :) eso me asusta mucho pq no he practicado mi español hace muchos años pero…sea lo que sea

19. First Fandom you wrote for?

percabeth! my ffnet account is still out there somewhere with ~four percabeth stories that are terrible :) just very bad :) no good :) horriblé :)

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

theogony or foreigner's god! or suze's bday fic but that's because I have never tailor-made something for someone quite like that fic and she was so sweet about it eye can't deal

tagging my internet wife @thequibblah bestie...knocking at ur door...standing outside with an edible arrangement...

#clare is tagged #this was s'cute tysm isa!

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ellieluvr420 · 7 months ago

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Well your chapter 23's teaser first reminded me of when I had been in hospital for over a week, and i told my mom i wanted to go home. I cried and i guess she cried too. But that's not the mystery.

I never know what i was down with. That evening i felt really dizzy, and i was rushed to hospital at 4am when my mom woke up and saw red spots all over my body. I was sleepy af and didnt feel hurt or itchy or anything. I just knew that everyone in the hall was staring and pointing at me. I couldnt care more i just wanted to sleep. They took me in and did everything while i was asleep already. I got an IV on my fore arm and the back of my hand. I dont remember much, but the princess treatment was great so I lied to my parents that i had headaches and stomachaches for another 2 weeks before getting back to tons of elementary schoolwork. I asked my mom about that event once but she just said it was an allergy. No i definitely dont have any allergies🤷

It's nice that you're back posting ❤️ you're really good at writing, and i hope you're doing well. Love you mwah mwah 😘

omg I’m so sorry, i didn’t get any notifs about my asks so I missed this but omg you are a medical mystery, the doctors were confused about me because i had broken like six bones by the time i was twelve but turns out im just clumsy soooo

i love u more for interacting like this, ty ur a sweetheart, i hope you’re doing okay!

also btw people, friends? never new chap out tonight!!! finally finished and edited it i just wanna do the last few adjustments and then we’re good, ty for your patience as always love y’all <3

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caninekakashi · 2 years ago

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HERE IS THE POST!! I AM NOT A COWARD!!

kakashi has Bad Dog Disorder and a dissociation problem, and here is why

first, we need to establish what makes a ‘bad dog’ bad. and the answer to that, in a cruel home, is everything

what is a bad dog?

a bad dog is a dog that barks too loud, that whines too much, that wants too loudly, that needs too humanly. a bad dog is a dog that is seen, or a dog that is heard, or a dog that isn’t seen, or isn’t heard.

a bad dog is a dog that can never win, because no matter what they do, no matter how they behave, they are always bad. once you’re awarded that title, there is no giving it away.

which brings us to “friend killer” kakashi.

bad dog disorder

there is literally no other way to describe what kakashi has going on mentally than just calling him a bad dog. every action, every reaction, it all comes from a place of wanting to be Good. he wants to be good DESPERATELY, he wants to be good for his father, he wants to be good for his sensei, he wants to be a good leader, a good teammate, he wants to be a good shinobi, he wants to be good. but at every step of the way, every turn, every leg of the journey of his youth, he is shown repeatedly, and unequivocally, that he is Bad.

he tries to follow the rules, tries to do the opposite of what killed his dad. obito tells him that hes wrong, kakashi learns that he’s bad when he fails. if he was good, he would have succeeded.

(he and his father are bad, theres no way around it. the village hated them for good reason)

he tries to take care of his team, tries to protect rin. Rin takes away Kakashi’s choice and uses him as a weapon.

that is a very important shift in kakashi’s mental state, rin jumps in front of kakashi’s hand. rin uses kakashi as the weapon to end her own life. she USES HIM as a WEAPON, for the very first time, and she loves him for it.

kakashi is used as a weapon, and he is loved for it. there is no coming back from that.

everyone kakashi has lost in his young life, has died for or because of him.

(he is bad because he failed, because he killed the one person he was supposed to protect, he can’t be good no matter how hard he tries, so why try?)

(but kakashi still tries.)

anbu

minato puts kakashi in anbu to keep him close, to get him to guard kushina, to TRY and give him a break, a moment, and then he dies, and no one ever pulls kakashi out.

it is my personal belief, that kakashi is a pacifist. i don’t think he likes fighting, i think fighting alongside allies terrifies him, just look at his reaction to gai opening the 8 gates. that is not the expression of a jonin shinobi prepared to do what it takes, that is the face of a terrified man about to lose another person for and because of him.

hound never looks like this.

kakashi in anbu is noticeable becuase he does not emote, not even when the mask is off, at most he will glare, very frequently he is completely blank.

kakashi removes himself from situations that scare him, as noted by his refusal to get close to people and his desire to flee. he dips out the second the option becomes available, because he is scared.

being in anbu? doing horrific missions now because minato isnt there to keep him close, to keep him from seeing the great depths of depravity humanity is capable of? kakashi is a child, and he is a weapon, and anbu will use him like one.

if he stayed present, if he was there for every mission, every massacre. if he was in the moment, in every second spent with his hand through another person’s chest, he would die. kakashi would die. gai was right, that’s NOT who kakashi is.

but someone has to be.

which brings us to:

kakashi’s shitty brain

this man has mental disorders previously only contractible by shrimp.

he is contrasted to obito frequently, which is correct, theyre good narrative pieces, but they are polar opposites.

obito feels deeply and obsessively, the emotion he feels in the moment is the strongest he’s ever felt in his life, there is no memory of any other feeling while he’s feeling it.

and kakashi can’t convince himself to feel anything, not really.

obito is angry, a righteous furious kind of rage that demands payment for the suffering that led to it. but kakashi doesn’t have that rage, he can’t. there are times when he has anger, sometimes even intensely, but he can’t keep it. kakashi doesn’t have the fuel required to keep any strong emotion alive long enough for him to feel it.

obito and kakashi both have a very small, scared child in them.

they always come back to that moment, that mission, back to when they were a team.

there is a terrified child in them both, and then there is something else, some kind of hurting thing, something that keeps them safe.

kakashi lives as the child, and obito lives as the other one.

if obito and kakashi were stuck in a hole, you could throw them both a rope. obito would climb out, indignant and angry at the circumstances that put him in that hole, and kakashi would hang himself.

to their core, they are different. because obito wants to be a savior, and kakashi wants to be saved.

but with his team gone, with his father dead, his sensei dead, with his friends kept at an arms length to keep them safe, there is no one to keep him safe.

there is no one to save him.

so kakashi has to save himself

hound

hound is a mask, one would argue that it is The Mask. the mask to hide all things, the mask that is worn whenever something kakashi can’t handle approaches him. whenever kakashi is afraid, whenever he is that small child, there is hound.

hound came to him when kakashi was young. hound was bloody to kakashi’s broken, and kakashi needed him to survive.

hound settles over kakashi like a second skin, awkward and ill fitting, hound was made of kakashi, but kakashi was not hound.

hound is the knife, kakashi is somehow, still, not the wielder.

hound moves when prompted, kills when asked, attacks when threatened, and anbu uses him like the weapon kakashi couldnt survive being.

kakashi has a Very complicated relationship with hound, because even out of anbu, hound doesn’t leave. hound has been there for over half kakashi’s life, he is a prominent part of his existence now.

kakashi knows that it was his body, his hands in another’s chest, his feet used to kick, to break, but it is hound that was standing in front of him, hound that was pulling the strings.

hound has ALWAYS hurt kakashi, because that is what hound is, a weapon against that which kakashi cannot stand, what kakashi fears, hates. hound has always bit kakashi first, the target second. kakashi is used to it.

kakashi hides behind hound, needs hound to survive, because hound pulls the wool over his eyes, hound numbs the pain, hound lessens the blow, because. its a lot easier to justify your actions when you take away your control of the events.

is a bad dog bad?

in any situation, kakashi can be himself, or he can be the dog, but he can't be both. so he has to choose who is what when he walks into any interaction, when he has to make any decision.

is he kakashi, or is he the dog? does the dog take priority or does kakashi? and when the dog takes priority, it gets easier and easier to let it take charge.

is a bad dog bad? no it does what its supposed to do. but what about you?

kakashi can’t afford to be ‘him’ in anbu, he has to be the dog, he has to be hound, he has to survive. his morals contradict with his mission and what he needs to do, his wants oppose what is demanded of him. hound is a shield to handle everything kakashi can’t handle.

when it comes to anbu, the choices he has to make, there is no clear ‘correct’ choice. and kakashi can’t make that connection because kakashi does not exist in a grey area. kakashi is either good, or he is bad, he can’t be both.

to a mentally stable person, it’s clear that these situations are not black and white, there is an overlap, a grey area, color. but dogs are colorblind.

so where does that leave kakashi

kakashi’s life is defined by an overwhelming lack of choice. lack of control.

he couldn’t control his village’s reaction to his father. couldn’t control his father’s suicide.

couldn’t control the cave in, had no choice about taking the eye.

he couldn’t control rin, had no choice about being used kill her

couldn’t even choose to help minato and kushina during the kyuubi attack.

couldn’t control, had no choice, had no way out, could only ever be dragged further in.

at the very least, he can choose to have hound, he can control that. chose when to wear that mask, but the funniest part about it, is that he can’t.

he’s removed from anbu against his will, stripped from his addiction with no transitional period, and then forced back into civilian life with a “thanks for your service” and no therapy or any reason to keep going.

and hound doesn’t leave.

hound is still full of teeth, sharp with his claws, he is still howling and haunted, hound still craves violence, still bites, snaps at whatever is closest.

when he was in anbu and JUST anbu, and all his allies were nameless, replaceable faces -- (they were never replaceable to kakashi, but hound doesnt care) -- hound could snap and bite, hound could do what it was created for, hound could gnaw on kakashi’s limbs, could rip into his enemies, could handle all the bloodshed that always led kakashi into a panic attack.

WITHOUT anbu, all kakashi has are s rank missions, and his friends who are trying to save him, and it’s not the same. kakashi has no choice but to continue courting what he has known his entire life, violence, and whatever hurts him the most. hound never goes away.

kakashi lives his life off of table scraps, never taking more than he is given, never asking for more. he does not deserve more, somewhere along the way kakashi confused ‘living’ with surviving, and hound

hound never goes away.

psa guys i promise i know thats not how dog colorblindness works it was just a metaphor <3

#lev howls #THESE. ARE MY MANY THOUGHTS #i literally can't look at this wall of fucking text anymore thank you <3 #kakashi #hound #trying to reread this makes me feel like it is so incomprehensible ill have to look at it again later but YEAH #had to edit the post sorry for any new notifs <3 #my meta

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lavishedinjimin · 3 years ago

Text

hello, beautiful people

tw// depression

. .

First, I want to apologize to all the people who has been patiently (or not patiently) waiting for me to post something. I'm so sorry for making you guys wait for anything to happen with my blog. It has been literal YEARS since I have posted but now that I'm looking through my notifications, your guys' love for me and my works hasn't died, so I really appreciate the support all throughout my absence.

This blog has been my safe place for many many years, and it still is. And you, my dearest readers, has been my family within the army community. Many of you may or may not know that I was not in a good state of mind; I experienced hell and I thought that I was not getting any better, and this blog was the only thing that kept me from sinking into a black hole. Some of you may remember my constant disappearances (lol) and how I was always frequent in taking breaks. Experiencing writer's block and personal matters was not a good combination for someone like me. Therefore, I had to take a step back from writing. I will not disclose more as to why I had to take like a fucking 2+ year hiatus, but I'm really really sorry.

Though kid you not, there was never a moment where I forgot about you all. I would always think about my readers and how they were doing. I would think about this blog and the memories I've created, cherishing them forever. This blog and you guys have a special place in my heart. And I'm so sorry for disappearing without notice. You guys don't deserve that at all. There's a part of me that regret stopping, but the other part tells me that it's okay, since I was doing this for the sake of myself. I would hope that you, my dearest, would understand that.

But great news!! I'm getting help! Something I should've done a long, long time ago. As I write this post, I feel like I am in a better state, my mental health better than before. I miss writing and I miss talking to you guys. I've come to a conclusion that writing and actually interacting with you all made my days a bit better. Yall made me happy, and I hope to feel those moments again, to be able to have a relationship with you lot again.

I missed you. And I missed writing (and because of my lack of practice, I feel like I absolutely suck now). During my break, I was in an insanely slow process of writing something very requested. I won't promise any due date, but I plan to continue that draft.

I also saw the immense love and support for my drabbles! Thank you guys for letting it receive 13k plus notes. Kinky hours were so fun, I can't wait to do them again <3

I'm not that great expressing my feelings that much, but I hope I get this message across. See you guys in a bit.

I'm home. I love you guys. <3

July.

edit: I'm officially announcing that I will be uploading a new fic this January or early Feb (hopefully!!). It was highly requested and I hope you guys will look forward to it! An official fic update/teaser will be released soon. <33

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melsie-sims · 2 years ago

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Hi! I was just wondering if you use Reshade (Or Gshade?) when playing Sims 2? I've never used either and I'm worried if Sims 2 could handle it? Your Sims 2 posts are so pretty and I'm wanting my own to look at least half as good! Thank you so much!

Hey Anon! I hope you're doing well!

Unfortunately I don't actually use Reshade or Gshade for either Sims 2 or Sims 4. I just play a normal, boring, unsaturated game. I'm sorry I can't help you with that part. But I'm still gonna try to help! Don't worry!

Everything you see on Simblr is done through the power of editing... Here's a quick tutorial (It wasn't actually quick, it took me hours to reply to this) if you'd like to learn more on how I get my screenshots to look the way they do.

I use Gimp which is 100% free, as opposed to Photoshop's monthly fee. At this point I'm way more comfortable with Gimp so I wouldn't make the switch even if I had the money to spare.

Saving Templates as xcf Files

I’m not a tech or graphic design genius so correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m guessing xcf files are the equivalent of psd files. These are the types of files you need to open if you want all of your layers to show up. When you have all of your layers ready, you need to do “save as” and then make sure you’re saving your project as a .xcf.

Using xcf files I made reusable templates for my screenshots so everything is already saved when I want to edit. I just have to open up the screenshots as new layers into the xcf templates and it's done! It literally takes two minutes to do!

Sims 4 is a bit more complicated because I add moodlets, notifs and icons, but the process is generally the same.

Before & After:

Above are two images edited differently depending on the lighting. The image on the left uses the 25% opacity layer while the image on the right uses the 75% opacity one. You can definitely see the difference. They're way brighter and crispier.

My Layers:

This is what my layers look like. I renamed some of them for your convenience so don't be confused when the images below have different names.

Top Layer (Bright Pink)

The pink-peach gradient is what makes my images bright and pink. I love that it removes the bluish glow from Sims images. The mode is "overlay" and the opacity is set to 60%.

2nd Layer (Peachy Burn)

This layer makes the image crispier. It's a little darker and the contrast is better in my opinion. It's super touchy though so you barely have to have any opacity at all for it to work. The mode is "burn" and the opacity is only 15%.

Layers 3 to 6 (Brightness)

So these are the layers that REALLY make all the difference. Depending on the lighting in the original screenshot I use a different layer to brighten up my images even more.

If it's bright and my sims are outside I'll likely use the 10% one since I don't need to lighten up the image much. If it's really dark I'll likely go for the 75% one.

For most indoor screenshots I will use the 25% opacity one which is the one that's already toggled on when I open up the template.

Layer 7 (The Image)

This is more or less just a placeholder. I usually put my screenshots between this layer and "Overlay 10% (Day)". You don't have to do anything with it. If all of your layers are toggled on properly then the image should already look edited the moment you add it to the template.

Previews

This is what it looks like when I open a random screenshot as a new layer. As you can see, I'm using the 25% opacity layer. Every other opacity is toggled off, which you achieve by clicking on the little eye icon at the left of the layer.

This is the original image with every other layer turned off. It's what I see in-game when I play.

As you can see, it's very dark and unappealing. What can we do to change that?

Here's me turning on every single layer in gif form. You can clearly see the difference the "Overlay ##%" layers do to help brighten up the image. You can also see why I'd choose 75% over 10%.

A final note or two:

If you've read this far and found this tutorial useful (it literally took me hours to do so I hope someone took away something from it LOL) then you're welcome!

I'm just gonna low-key add the link to my Ko-Fi here in case this post gets a lot of views and anyone would like to donate. 😂😂 I'm having a hard time financially so it'd really help. No pressure though, especially if you're also struggling to pay the bills.

#sims 2 #gimp tutorial #just chatting #ask reply #editing #resource

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shotorozu · 4 years ago

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hellolololo!¡! so i recently saw this video where their

s/o goes on to omegle and the other person from omegle like goes “hi ur cute” or “u have snap?” and then their boyfriend just enters the frame,, can u do that to todobakudeku separately :3

if u dont understand u can check this out 😭 https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSJdEqc7V/ tyy ❤️❤️

“ur kinda cute” on omegle

(tiktok prank)

character(s) : todoroki shouto, bakugou katsuki, midoriya izuku (bnha)

part two — part three

legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns used, quirk not mentioned

headcanon type : fluff, crack — ‘x reader’

note(s) : i love these types of requests 🤩 so i plan on making 3 parts with this (oh and don’t worry, i’ll finish the other tiktok prank series i have going on at the moment)

also, there’s no proofread on this so if there’s any typos or mistakes, sorry! i’ll be editing them in the morning

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈

todoroki shouto

okay so, the entire tiktok idea was planned— but the part where shouto came in surely wasn’t staged

so, being a curious young person— you wanted to make a tiktok, where you went on omegle just to speak to people for fun

and inside of your head, you’re kinda thinking that “this is dumb, omg im going to get flashed on there.” also while you were setting up your laptop

but you just used the appropriate tags and !! you were set off for an adventure

you set your phone aside, and you filmed most of the experience— cutting out the not so interesting encounters out of your tiktok

and then came on a dude, who had a,, unique reaction. he didn’t seem all that fishy— until he asked you for your snap (your social medias, essentially)

“you’re kinda cute, y’know. how did i not see you before?”

you shake your head, “oh no no! i appreciate your compliment, but i’m very much taken!” your mind immediately flashing back to the image of your icyhot boyfriend

“nahh you’re lying! i don’t see any dude back there”

oh,, and that was because shouto was out getting snacks 🧎 “no really dude, i appreciate it! i’m very much taken and being disloyal is out of the question!”

this dude just kept insisting and insisting, and due to the struggle— you weren’t able to hear the door knob jiggle

it seemed to be that his advances came to an end, and your lover made an entrance— a mop of red and white peaked out from the door frame

and the dude literally got scared and ended the conversation 💀 because you really weren’t lying!

you also figured that it was time to end your omegle shenanigans, and finish the tiktok— because your boyfriend was already there “hi love, who were you talking to?”

you closed your laptop, and offered him a smile “i was on omegle for a tiktok! i’m glad you’re back.” you discard your phone, wrapping your arms around his torso (and also making sure you don’t delete the draft)

shouto doesn’t say a lot, but he immediately accepts your touch, setting the groceries aside.

he doesn’t question the fact that you were on omegle because well,, he had to get used to your shenanigans on tiktok SOMEHOW

a few hours later, you posted the tiktok— and almost immediately, the tiktok gains a lot of attention

“i love how your boyfriend drove the last dude away 💀💀” “man the last dude didn’t take the hint 🗿” “your boyfriend indirectly protected you! we need more guys like him.”

you snicker at the comments, which ultimately gathered shouto’s attention “what’s up, love?”

you show him the tiktok, “the tiktok did well.” he’ll comment calmly, but shouto’s lowkey MAD ?? that a dude had the audacity. but he’s just glad that you’re happy just maybe,, don’t go on omegle anymore 💀

“love— next time, let me in on your tiktoks.” he says, running a thumb along your cheek lightly. because he was actually quite entertained, putting everything aside

bakugou katsuki

as if bakugou katsuki would let you go on OMEGLE, a place that’s known for having the sketchiest people to ever exist— but make it virtual

but being with you made him realize that well,, if you want to do something, you’ll go through lengths just to do it.

even the great bakugou katsuki can’t really stop you. whatever makes you happy— but oh, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t highly discourage it

which lead you to go on omegle for a tiktok in the other room, while bakugou exercised in the very next room.

when you told him that you wanted to film a tiktok, bakugou only shrugged— “don’t do overly dumb shit.” was what he only told you and he left the door open too

you then set up your phone and laptop, applied the appropriate tags— and went off to make your tiktok

you only filmed the interesting encounters, and the people you met on there were very diverse in personality and just,, in general.

after the 4th encounter, then came a rather interesting dude. he didn’t seem all that ordinary but he wasn’t spectacular. he was just nice

and the conversation was rather normal— until he started asking for your socials “putting everything aside, do you have social media? you’re really cute.”

you reject immediately, “oh no, i appreciate your words but— i already have a boyfriend.”

you just have to hope that he noticed bakugou walking back and forth with equipment, but with his next words— that doesn’t seem to be the case

“i didn’t see anyone back there, a simple no would’ve been sufficient instead.” uh oh

“no really, i—” and before things escalated, katsuki’s head peaked through the door frame, freshly out of the shower “are you almost done, idiot?”

the dude literally looked behind you, and thought “oh shit, their boyfriend is bakugou fucking katsuki.” because bakugou is famous for,, multiple different reasons

the dude’s camera shakes in terror, “oh uhm,, it was nice meeting you!” not long before he dips from of the conversation, never to be seen again.

closing your laptop— you end the tiktok while bursting into laughter, and this action just confused katsuki ever further. he heard you speaking to someone, and when he looked, the person was nowhere to be seen

“what are you laughing at??”

“nothing katsuki, i was laughing at the tiktok i just made.”

then— you figured that it would be best to tell katsuki now that you were on omegle (long story short, he wasn’t pleased)

he scolded you that you shouldn’t be on omegle, but let’s be honest, he couldn’t stay mad at you— so he just cuddles the frustration away

when you upload the tiktok the following hours, it blows up pretty quickly—with comments like “LOL IS THAT BAKUGOU KATSUKI??” “he had guts until he saw bakugou katsuki 💀” “tbh i’d be scared too”

and when you report the news the katsuki, he smirks— “as he should be.”

midoriya izuku

at this point, izuku is very much used to your shenanigans on tiktok. he’s very supportive of whatever you do all in all

but, about omegle,,, yeah,, as much as he trusts you— he does not trust omegle. he’s aware that it’s a shady place, and he doesn’t advise that you do go on that website bc he cares

so when you brought up the tiktok idea, he proposed that he’d be there, right beside you just to monitor if anyone’s being weird :)

and that’s great! because you also wanted to ask if he wanted to be a reoccuring guest in your tiktok— and of course, what kind of boyfriend would he be if he opposed?

he helps you set up your laptop and phone— all of that sort of stuff, and then you guys were off to make an interesting tiktok

oh, but izuku did apply the appropriate tags because he didn’t want you to see odd things he was secretly nervous but,, you were very ethusiastic, so he was too.

the first several people were interesting in their own way— especially with their reactions to your boyfriend appearing on screen

usually, they’d back off with, and comment on how cute your boyfriend is— wishing the both of you well before calmly leaving to meet new people,

that was how it was, until you met this person in particular.

he sounded very,, egotistical— i wouldn’t say that because you’ve just met the dude, but he acted like everyone wanted him or it sounded like that

then he says, “you definitely have a phone number, right? you’re cute, just my type.” wkdksmd this is awkward since izuku’s right beside you, but he’s just outside of the frame

then, izuku pops out of the frame— in all his cute ass glory, he gives a small wave to the not so pleased stranger

“please, that’s your boyfriend?” he scoffs, “with those arms, he looks like he could be your little brother! now let me ask again—”

it’s really weird?? because have you seen izuku’s gainz?? and this dude’s audacity is extraordinary.

but little did this guy know, he’s looking at midoriya izuku— and,, you’ve seen his performance in the sports festival.

the dude takes another glance at your boyfriend, who’s sitting there right beside you— and he realizes who he was talking to

“oh shit, you’re—” and before the both of you could realize it, he nopes out of the conversation.

after that encounter, you burst into a fit of laughter— the look on izuku’s face being priceless. “you should’ve seen your reaction!”

“haha, i guess he knew who i was,” he says bashfully, cheeks warming up. because it registered in his mind that people actually knew who he was. “can you,, upload the tiktok later? i want to hug you— i mean! if that’s fine.”

of course it’s fine! you oblige, and give him all the hugs he could ever need

after cuddling with izuku, you do upload the tiktok— and an hour later, your tiktok notifications blow up

the tiktok all in all gathered 1M views, 780K likes, and over 1,500 comments— most of them saying stuff like

“your boyfriend’s reaction was so cute?? i know he looked like he was going to punch him through the screen but 👀” “last dude was just not it.” “LMAO HE REALLY TRIED IT” “is your boyfriend IZUKU MIDORIYA??”

when you excitingly showed him the tiktok’s results, he was certainly pleased— because most of the comments were positive, and also because the tiktok’s results made you happy

“i’m glad that it did well!” he’ll sigh in relief, pressing a kiss against your temple, let’s just not go on there ever again

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

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fates-theysband · 2 years ago

Text

let stars shine until the breaking day

this fucking fic is going to ruin my sleep schedule. i could post this on ao3 or something at this point but i'm super not baring my soul to the merciless court of a general fandom's public opinion, even one this small.

standard language warning, alcohol implied but not actually directly mentioned.

Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3 (<- you are here)

The rest of the day, focusing on anything was close to fucking impossible. Literally the only thing on Charlie’s mind was This cannot be real. There’s no fucking way he was actually interested enough in me to come back to leave his number. They caught themself picking apart the message from him, trying to find some evidence of a catfish or a prank. Had someone else been in the shop without their knowledge, overheard, and gotten some kind of fucked up idea? No, not likely. The bells were too loud for anyone to pass unnoticed. They ran over in their head the list of everyone who could possibly know enough about the situation to try and pull something like this and came up with nothing–the extent of it had been the conversation with Mortimer and an offhanded mention to their roommate that there had been a cute customer at work.

The only explanation that made sense was the obvious one. But that one was too good to be true.

At closing time, they jumped at the chance to haul the empty boxes out to the dumpster. The walk back would probably be enough time to send another message, assuming the one they’d been drafting in their head for the past few hours didn’t immediately require a full edit and rewrite phase once they typed it in. Mortimer responded to Charlie’s rather enthused volunteering with a quirked brow and a knowing smile, but did not comment further.

They weren’t even halfway back across the strip mall parking lot before they’d sent the message.

That’s great!! Sorry for the late reply btw I kinda had to sneak in that message while I was working lol. How was your day?

No immediate read receipt like last time. They kept peeking the rest of the way back, though, hoping and fearing all at once that he’d get back to them that fast again. It wasn’t to be, unfortunately; they reached the back door of the Emporium and still no response. No read receipt either, though; maybe he just wasn’t near his phone. At least, they hoped that was the reason.

Still no response by the time they’d finished up their closing tasks, clocked out, and boarded the bus home. They spent most of the bus ride back to their apartment complex staring at the messaging app–he still hadn’t even read it yet. Or did he turn off read receipts so they couldn’t tell if he’d read it because he didn’t want to make it obvious that he was ghosting them because they’d weirded him out?

Wait, shit, was a “how was your day” text too forward for someone you just met two days ago? That didn’t seem right, but social interaction, especially stuff like flirting, had so many unspoken rules that you were supposed to just intuit. Maybe that was like, Level 2 talking stage or something.

They shook their head. Honestly, were they going to catastrophize over every little thing? They didn’t actually know this guy. He could be a huge asshole past the first impression and if he ghosted them it’d be no great loss.

They almost jumped out of their skin at the slight buzz in their palm. A text message. Not from Mr. Feight like they were hoping–there still wasn’t even a read receipt–but they’d missed the notification showing who it was from. Reluctantly, they paused their vigil on that particular message log and swiped back to their full text history to see a new message from one Rico Chatte.

Hey are you off work yet?

They shot back a quick Yeah.

Immediate response. Wanna go hit up the Den tonight?

Ugh. Between the anxiety and the whole thing with being glued to their phone waiting for a message that may never come, Charlie would not be any fun in a bar setting right now. On a Friday night? Idk if we’d even be able to get in.

Brief pause. Read receipt. Dots. Touche. Wanna go halvsies on a pizza and rent a weird movie on PPV then? I’m in a celebratory mood.

Okay. Interesting new wrinkle in this whole day. What’s the occasion?

I’ll tell you when you get home.

Which they did, a few stops later. In the meantime, they noticed that Douglas had read their message, and they’d even seen the typing indicator come up a few times. But it always disappeared after a few seconds, with no message to follow. Then it would reappear a minute or two later, and the cycle would repeat. Now they were more intrigued than anything. Sure, he could just be trying to think of the politest way to say he wasn’t interested and they misinterpreted his reasoning, but he seemed like an eloquent enough guy and (they hoped) the few words they’d exchanged had been free enough of expectations that letting them down easy shouldn’t be that difficult.

It was something, they decided as they stepped off the bus and headed up the stairs to their apartment, they’d have to discuss with someone who was better versed in this stuff.

They unlocked the apartment door and headed inside, announcing “Honey, I’m home!” in a half-hearted singsong to the slight figure lying sprawled across the couch, watching what sounded like vocoded meme videos on their phone.

The sound of an electronically enhanced voice reading out hilarious misspellings of the words “Ouija board” ceased abruptly as Rico locked their phone, tossed it aside, and scrambled to their feet. “Charlie,” they said to their roommate in a mock-dramatic voice, “it is with nothing but joy in my heart that I bring you this news.”

Charlie grinned. “You’re gonna stop taking the last bagel when you leave for interviews?”

Rico gasped in joking offense, then continued. “While I don’t appreciate your attacks on my character, I will forgive them because I can do you one better. Charlie Voss, I hereby relieve you of your duties as sole breadwinner of this household. Which, I mean, my savings were covering my share of the rent and all but now we won’t be stretched quite as thin.”

Charlie’s grin widened into a genuine smile. “You got hired? That’s awesome! What’s the job?”

“You know that admin assistant gig I went for a week ago?” Rico answered, moving past Charlie and opening the fridge.. “Turns out that guy actually did think a degree and three years experience was sufficient for filing papers and taking phone calls. Or at least that everyone else’s qualifications were worse.”

“Hey, doesn’t matter what’s going on in his head, as long as you end up getting paid,” Charlie replied. “When do you start?”

“Monday. You want anything while I’m in here?”

“Yeah, can you grab me a water?” They paused for a moment. “Did you ever tell me the name of that place?”

Rico rose back to their full height and handed Charlie a bottle of water. “I don’t think I did. I think it was called Feight Tax Services or something like that.”

Charlie, who had just taken a swig from the bottle immediately before they heard that, inhaled some of the water in such a way that they were pretty sure they could go on TV and call the resulting coughing fit a near-death experience. When they were finally able to stop coughing long enough to breathe, they wheezed out, “That’s. Uh. Familiar.”

“Holy shit, are you okay!?” Rico asked, whirling around from where they were walking back to the couch.

“Yeah, I just. Wasn’t expecting you to say that. I’ll explain later. Let’s, uh, let’s get that pizza order in before it gets too late.”

Rico stared at them with a raised eyebrow for what had to be a solid thirty seconds, then turned around and walked back to the couch. Charlie followed, relieved to have something to take their mind off this brand new sub-dilemma that had abruptly branched off of their main dilemma.

That hope for a distraction lasted about as long as the walk from the door to the living room couch. The moment Charlie sat down, their phone buzzed in their pocket. They pulled it out just enough to peek at the name on the notification.

The name read “Douglas Feight”.

Charlie stood back up, quicker than they intended. “Whoa, holy shit,” they told Rico in a tone they hoped was convincing. “My phone’s super low right now. I’m gonna go run to my room and grab my charger so it doesn’t die on me.”

Rico returned to the same raised-eyebrow stare they’d had a few moments ago. “Oooookay. Uh, I’ll get my half of the pizza built while you do that, I guess.”

“Great. Awesome. I’ll be back.” They hurried into the hallway leading to their bedroom. Now definitely did NOT feel like the time to reveal to their best friend, “Hey, you know that guy I told you about the other day? Yeah, the one I said was cute? Turns out that guy is YOUR FUCKING BOSS.”

But, all the same, they were not going to let this message wait. Not after how long they’d agonized over what it might say. They headed into their room, sat on their bed, and opened the text.

It read, No need to apologize, I understand. I wasn’t able to find the time to send you this until now, after all. I had a lovely day today, thank you for asking. How was yours?

Maybe that was why he seemed to have been typing and erasing his response repeatedly earlier–he’d just kept getting interrupted at work or something before he could finish it. That thought was…honestly kind of cute, that he’d been so doggedly trying to ask them about their day despite all the interruptions. They set the phone on their bed and reached down to grab the charger cord plugged into the wall by their bed, when they heard it buzz again. They sat back up so fast they whacked their head against the nightstand, but they were so laser focused they barely felt it.

Another message. Actually, if it isn’t too forward of me to ask, are you busy tonight? I’d like the chance to meet with you, perhaps make proper introductions in person.

They hesitated briefly, glancing in the direction of the living room despite the fact that the only thing actually visible in that direction from their current vantage point was a solid wall. This was going to be hard to explain. But on the other hand, Rico had initially wanted to go out tonight. Maybe they’d be so happy that Charlie changed their mind that they wouldn’t question it.

They sent back, I’m free. You have a place in mind?

Another immediate response. I’m not very familiar with the nightlife in Cosmopolis, I’m afraid. Where do you recommend?

Charlie refrained from telling him that he was probably about as familiar with the local nightlife as they were, it being that they only went to one bar with any degree of regularity and even then it was just as a tag-along to someone who was much more outgoing, and responded, Ever heard of this place called Cerberus’s Den?

A slightly longer pause before the response. I’ve heard the name, but I haven’t been there, no.

It looks like a dive on the outside but I promise it’s great. And also it would be crowded enough on a Friday night that they could probably sneak away from Rico without arousing too much suspicion.

I trust your judgment. How does 8:00 sound?

They glanced at the clock on their phone. It was 6:30 now, and their apartment was close enough to the Den that it was only a ten-minute walk to get there…hour and twenty minutes should be enough to get ready. They hoped. 8 sounds great. They paused, realized what they did, and sent another message. Haha, I’m a poet.

Indeed you are. I’ll see you there. :)

Charlie’s face felt like it was on fire. It wasn’t fair that someone could be so handsome and so adorable at the same time. They shot back, See you there! and then went to stand up, before a knock on the door gave them their second near-death experience in the past half hour.

“Are you dead in there or something? How long does it take to find a phone charger?” Rico called from the other side of the door. “Hurry up, at this rate the place is gonna close.”

“Sorry,” Charlie called back. “I, uh, got a call and I had to take it.” They rose to their feet and opened the door. “By the way, change of plans. I was in a weird mood earlier but I think I’m okay to go out now. You still down to hit the Den?”

Rico quirked a brow but appeared to shrug off the sudden change in demeanor. “Of course, there wasn’t anything that sounded decent on pay-per-view anyway. Are you okay though? You look like you pressed your entire face against a running toaster oven.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good,” Charlie replied, leaning against the doorframe in a desperate attempt to look casual. “You wanna invite anyone else out with us?”

“It’s Friday night, anyone who I’d want to invite out is probably already there. Now let’s quit bullshitting and get ready. I’d hate for the crowd to get any worse.”

“You got it,” Charlie replied, closing the door to their room again as Rico turned and headed down the hall. Once it was fully closed, they slumped back against it and took a deep breath to process everything. This was really happening, they really did just have the most wildly attractive (and as it turns out, sweet and endearingly awkward as well) person they’d ever met ask to meet up, and they really did accept. With a level of mild deception that hopefully their best friend would forgive, but still.

They stood up fully again. Everything was in place, now all they had to do was not royally screw everything up. Not much to ask. Hopefully.

#self ship #self shipping #selfship #self ship fic #r: curses #p: cat in the morgue #questionable writing tag #this is longer than both previous chapters combined #just completely doubled my word count like a man possessed #which i think i kind of was near the end

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sailorhyunjinz · 4 years ago

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~ 𝕋𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕡𝕚𝕔𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕖𝕤 𝕠𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 ~

Part I

All picture rights to their respective owners.

ℂ𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕥: Photographer!hyunjin, fem!model!reader, manager!Bangchan, stylist!Jisung, agedup!straykids, SMUT IN LATER PARTS, fluff, character driven story, strangers to lovers, summer au, mentions of insecurity, love at first sight.

𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕕 ℂ𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥: 3,5 k

ℕ𝕠𝕥𝕖: I have never written a series before so please understand if it’s lacking heh... and yes the title does relate to the kooks song with the same title so do give it a listen because it’s really good and fits the story c:

also this starts slowly LMAO MORE FUN THINGS ARE COMING UP I SWEAR <33

If you have any feedback I’m more than happy to receive it! <3

Taking pictures of you - MASTERLIST

ONE｜TWO｜THREE

Working as a model was not easy. The complaining managers and the expectations by others was too much to handle. Heck, even getting to the shooting locations was a hastle most of the time.

You tilted your head against the window in the backseat of the taxi. It was a calm august wednesday. The late summer breeze made it’s way into the cab thorugh the window that was opened on the drivers side. Your phone screen lit up, multiple notification from Instagram.

“omg! slay bbygrl”

“her face is crazy pretty”

“beautiful”

You’ve heard these words too many times. If you’re told the same thing over and over again they eventually mean nothing. You scrolled through the other comments on your latest instagram post, a photo from your last photoshoot. A picture of you lying in a bed of white flowers, your skin glowing and your body covered by a white sheer dress that accentuated your neck. It’s not a bad photo but was I really worth the attention? “There are a thousands of other girls way prettier than me.” you though and with a sulken expression you watched life run by outside the window.

15 minutes later you arrived at your agency. You smiled your model smile at the taxi driver to which he smiled back and responded: “My pleasure, miss y/n”.

A big shadow was cast from the building in which the modeling agency was. The beige renaissance building was surrounded by green bushes and a black fence. The big oak entryway had golden lion knockers and an ingraved golden sign. “Eccellente Modeling Agency” it said with bold black letters, contrasting nicely with the gold plate. You rang the doorbell next to the sign and in a matter of seconds the oak gates opened with a loud creak.

“Y/n!! You look stunning as always!” said your manager Bangchan as he hugged you. The smell of his aftershave violated your olfactory sense as usual, making you scrunch your nose. He was always dressed business casual, his white polo shirt and light brown dress pants being a good example but today his poloshirt had a great amount of buttons unbuttoned.

The both of you made your way into his office. A room with a high ceiling and a chandelier worth more than your career. You sat down in the leather couch across the desk, Bangchan sitting on the other side of it.

“Give me a moment.... Just pulling up some files for the new photoshoot I’ve planned! I promise, you’re not gonna be disappointed.” he says smiling, the desktop screen reflecting in his brown eyes.

He turns his computer screen towards you. Your eyes scan the pictures that pop up.

“May I present to you the profile of Hwang Hyunjin. One of the most renowned photographers of this age”. Bangchan looks at you, reading your expression.

The pictures are truly beautiful. Everything, from the outfits to the lightning was perfect.

“Bangchan, you’re insane” you say, smiling widely as you made eye contact with the dark haired manager. “These pictures are so stunning!” you squeal. “How did you even get in contact with him?”

“Nothing for you to worry about y/n, I have my contacts. I’m a manager after all”. He scoffs whilst scrolling through the profile. The next picture getting better than the previous one.

“So... when is the shoot and what concept have you planned?” you say whilst your eyes are glued to the computer screen.

“Mr, Hwang works for a multitude of companies but Styliz needed a model for their new pastel collection which I immedietly snatched onto. We all know how beautiful you look in pastels y/n” he said attentively to which you smiled, adoring the interest he has for his work.

“Oh.. I also cheked your schedule and you seem free tomorrow so how about then?” he added.

“Yes! I’d love too” you said with a small nod.

“Not that you have much choice, Mr Hwang’s time is worth gold y/n” he laughed and reached for something in his cabinet drawers.

“Here, take this” he said while sliding over a light grey business card.

‘Hwang Hyunjin, Photographer’ was written in dark grey letters. A black border decorating the edges of the card.

♡

The morning sun shined thorugh the curtains blinding you temporarily. You felt after your phone on the nightstand with you hand, your eyes still closed. ��8:05 am’ the screen showed against the background picture of your family.

You missed them, moving to a different city across the country at the young age of 18 was scary. You’ve aged, that’s for sure but you still missed them dearly. Dragging your lifeless body to the shower you hope for a day with happiness whilst the warm water hits your bare skin. It was a big day after all. A photoshoot with photographer Hwang Hyunjin. “Me... on Hyunjins work? It must be a dream...” you thought, grabbing the towel hanging on the cold, silver rack.

You dryed off your thick hair with a light pink towel with one hand whilst the other hand held your phone. “I have to look at his photos again” you thought, tapping on the Instagram icon and typing “Hwang Hyunjin” in the search bar, hoping and praying that his work was published on the social media platform.

“@ photographerHwang” was the first result to pop up and you tapped it instantly being just as surprised as you were yesterday of the beauty that his photos carried. Bumping into the table on your way to the kitchen you noticed a different photo on his feed. It didn’t look like any of the other photos because it was a selfie. You dropped your towel on the floor. No... it can’t be him... or could it?

His face looked like a work of art. Not only was the photo nicely edited with warm light emitting from your screen but the person was even more eyecatching. “It’s probably one of his models” you though as you placed your phone on the kitchen counter and grabbed a carton of milk from the fridge.

But what if it’s really him?

♡

You threw on a grey hoodie and biker shorts before you flew out to the taxi waiting for you outside the apartment.

“Sorry for keeping you waiting sir! Here!” you said while panting, quickly pulling up a text message you got from Bangchan sharing the location of the photoshoot.

“Please, Miss y/n! No need to apologize” laughed the middle aged taxi driver softly. You were now on your way to the shoot.

Your brain was scattered. One part of you hoped that Mr Hwang really was the boy you saw on his instagram. His long, blond locks slightly covering his sharp jaw. His skin clear as day and rosy lips plump like two rose petals. The other part shut everything down, convinced that it’s one of his models that happened to be to your liking.

You opened his instagram page again.

“He must be famous for his perfect features...” you said under your breath, staring at his lips.

The whole taxi ride was filled with thoughts of him, whoever he was.

“Soon there miss y/n” the taxi driver said after 10 minutes of driving. The taxi slowed down and looking outside the window you saw Bangchan standing infront of a building that looked similar to the agency building. You waved slightly and he waved back at you.

You turned around to the driver and said; “Thank you so much sir”, giving him a generous tip and exiting the vehicle. A warm breeze latches on to you, making your hair flutter in the motions of the wind.

“Y/n! Perfectly on time” Bangchan said and hugged you.

You hugged him back, asking him about his day so far to which he responded;

“Good but going to be even better after this legendary photoshoot is done and we have the most perfect photos taken by the most influential photographer!” he sounded like a little child in a candy shop.

Your ears heated up due to his words and you smiled slightly.

“Let’s go to the second floor and get your outfit and makeup ready. A introduction with Styliz manager won’t be needed since he already knows your delightful personality” he laughed at his corny remarks and you did the same.

“You seem even more excited than me” you remarked, pressing the elevator button.

“When you see the end result you will be floored” Bangchan said and winked at you.

The elevator clanged. “Second floor”. The metal doors slided open. The eyes of a dozen stylists and makeup artists caught onto you. A slightly potbellied man in a navy colored suit approached you.

“Y/n! I’m so happy to see work with you again.” His voice was hoarse due to his age but his personality being the total opposite. You knew him well since Styliz’s chief was one of the first to offer you a modeling job in a foreign city, you only being a teenager with a big dreams at the time.

“Mr. Styliz! It’s lovely to meet you again” you smiled and sat down in a makeup chair, a girl with blond hair and big hoop earrings starting to brush powder across your nose. You saw Bangchans figure leave behind a door in the reflection of the mirror.

“Mr. Styliz, might I ask you a question?” You regretted the words as soon as the came out of your mouth. You didn’t need more information about the mysterious boy you saw on Hwang’s instagram page but you simply had to know who is was.

“Well of course y/n” said Mr. Styliz, his warm breath touched your cheek as he stood right by your side, smelling of morning coffee and looking at you through the mirror.

“Could I please get more information about Mr.Hwang?” you said, making eye contact with the old man.

“y/n, you’ll meet him soon! Then you can ask him how much you would like about his life but I must warn you... He is quite the secretive type”. The coffee breath was accentuated as he laughed.

You tried to play along, laughing a fake laugh as the hair designer started to brush out your locks. A wave of embarrassment washed through you.

The lights of the makeup mirror were getting hot, tiny sweat drops beading on your forehead which the makeup artist wiped off.

“We are done, Miss y/n” said the makeup artist, her earrings reflecting the light in the studio. You thanked her and saw Bangchan standing at the door where the cameras were.

“y/n, not much time left. Please go down the hallway and into the second door on your left, the stylist is in there fixing your outfit”. One reason as to why you loved Bangchan as your manager was his calm temper. Even in a time crunch, he always made sure to talk to you in a serene tone. After years in the modeling industry you still couldn’t get used to the ill-tempered staff. Too many times you had been forcefully dragged down corridors and streets whilst they muttered swear words at you. Even thinking about it sends shivers down your spine.

Your shoes tapped the white linoleum as you made your way down the narrow hallway, knocking on the second door to your left just as Bangchan said.

A familiar voice said; “Come in!” to which you turned the golden doorknob on the white wooden door. The tall figure was rummaging in a big plastic container filled with clothes but upon your arrival the figure greeted you with warm eyes.

“No way!! It’s y/n!” screeched Jisung. He pulled you in to a hug, his belt buckle hit your stomach through the grey hoodie.

Jisung was a stylist and worked closely with Mr. Styliz therefore you’d gotten close to him. Not only did you like him for his exquisite fashion sense which had a whole different concept each time you saw him but also for his friendliness, always being polite.

“I’ve missed you so much Jisungie” you said with a pout.

“I though it was onesided but I guess not haha”

“Don’t be silly! How could I not miss that smile of your Sungie?” you hit him playfully on the arm to which he blushed.

“Go behind that and I’ll throw some clothes for you.” he pointed at the wooden divider standing in the corner of the white room filled with clothes racks and colorful clothing.

You started undressing behind the divider and suddenly a pile of clothing was thrown on your head over the divider. You heard Jisung snicker at the yelp that came out of your mouth as you drowned in the clothes

“Jisung, you are so dead when I’m done” you said whilst putting on the last details to the outfit.

“I’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry” he said pleadingly while laughing hysterically.

You stood on the podium infront of the full lenght mirrors in the room as Jisung observed you and pinned the clothes slightly.

“Not gonna lie, it’s looks really good on you. The pastels matches perfectly with your skintone.” Jisung looked on the pleaded white skirt you had on.

You looked in the mirror and shook your head in agreement. The pastel purple sweater with the white collar poking out made you look youthful and innocent. You had on patent mary jane shoes in the same purple color as your sweater. The white kneesocks were slipping down as you moved slightly, almost looking like a school girl as you bend down to lift the socks up.

“Do you like it?” Jisung looked at you through the reflection on the mirror, standing on the floor making him a head shorter than you.

“Yea! You’ve never given me a bad outfit Sungie, they’re always adorable. My favorite stylist but don’t tell that to Bangchan” you smirked to which Jisung laughed.

♡

“y/n, Jisung did a great job! You fit the concept to a tee” Bangchan stood infront of two wide dark green doors which led to the photostudio. He smiled shyly and pushed the doors open, a bright white light blinding you as you stepped in.

You squinted and held your hand infront of your eyes as you entered the studio, the air stuffy from all the white boxlights that have been working for a while.

“Miss y/n is here now, Mr. Hwang” Bangchan announced.

Your eyes felt blurry and the lights created a bokeh effect, your vision feeling like a filter. The first thing you saw was him. Hwang Hyunjin.

The shock froze your feet in one position. It was him. The selfie was Hyunjin. And he was hotter in real life.

A tall, slender figure stood on one foot, the other one behind his leg with the tip of the shoe pointing towards the floor.

“Are you ready, miss y/l/n?”.

His voice was sweeter than honeysuckle, you melted upon hearing him speak. Bangchan looked at you confused when you didn’t move, just observing the presence of the blonde boy infront of you.

“y/n?” Bangchan had a worried expression on his face as your face broke out in a massive blush.

“yeah..uh-mm..yes” you only managed to get that out before you were infront of the camera.

His willowy fingers wrapped around the black Canon camera, it fit perfectly in his hands as if it was made for him. You gulped upon seeing the veins that ran up his exposed arms, the white shirt bunched up by his elbows.

“Everything good miss? You seem distant” he said in that raspy but sweet voice.

“Uhm...yeah totally..” you looked awkward with your hands by your side as you saw Bangchan observing you with a confused gaze.

“Please tilt your head to the right and stand broad with your feet” Hyunjin commanded to which you complied. The flash of the big studio lights didn’t effect you as much anymore since you were used to this but what did effect you was how concentrated Hyunjin looked. Like a true photographer. It was obvious that he enjoyed his job by the way his eyes shined when he looked at the monitor and corrected every detail. Luckily you could stare at his figure all that you wanted since it looked like you were keeping eye contact with the camera and not him. Glancing over to the left of the photographer you saw Bangchan smiling his bright smile, signaling that he’s proud over you.

Flash

And another flash before Hyunjin looked at the monitor displaying the photos he just took, a smirk crept onto his face.

“Good job y/l/n. Could you please grab that chair over there and sit on the edge of it?” he said whilst pointing towards a small wooden stool. Reacting instantly to his soft voice and gestures you pulled the stool towards the x on the ground, making sure you were in frame.

“One leg over the other” Hyunjin said without even looking towards you, his pale veiny hands were now twisting and turning some buttons on both the camera and monitor. You shook your head up and down slightly in agreement before doing as told and as Hyunjin turned back his chocolatey brown eyes landed on yours. Now it was impossible to hide your burning cheeks, Hyunjin noticed since he laughed stiffly before grabbing the camera off the camera stand and going down on one knee to capture an angle from below. Numerous amounts of sparks from the big box lights were emitted and after every spark Hyunjin turned around to the screen which displayed your figure. Staring at him you smiled slowly, feeling your heart beat faster. Why do I feel like this by just looking at him? Your head was clouded with millions of other thoughts. Just as you started tuning out the room Hyunjin clapped his hands hard, the sound ringing in your ears. You jumped slightly which made Bangchan laugh.

“All done! Nice work everybody” Hyunjin announced loudly before bowing down to the other staff members in the room and to you as well. You returned his gesture by a slight bow of the head and quickly scurried of to Bangchan, your face hot.

“Are you sure you’re not ill?” Bangchan said softly before putting the back of his hand towards your forehead. Shaking your head from side to side you pushed his hand away.

“No, I’m fine... just so hot with the box lights you know?” you laughed fumblingly, not knowing where to rest your gaze.

You felt someone tap you on your left shoulder and you almost fainted when you turned around. Hyunjin was standing three footsteps from you, the scent of his cologne making you swoon. He smiled as he saw your shy expression and sparkling eyes.

“I though that it must have been hot, here have this”

He casually held out a waterbottle which you received with both hands as a gesture of thankfulness.

“y/n, I’m just gonna head off to Jisung to discuss something. Meet me at the changing rooms in about 10, ok?” Bangchan said, slightly leaning towards your ear.

“Yeah, see you in 10!” you said while the managers back disappeared through the broad doors of the studio. Turning back to Hyunjin his blond locks were draped infront of his eyes and as he spoke he tucked those light pieces behind his ear, revealing his small silver hoop earrings.

“I’m gonna pack up the cords now but it was a pleasure to work with you, miss y/l/n”

The corners of your mouth went upwards at his formality.

“Please, call me y/n” you said quietly, being too shy to look him in the eyes.

“Sure, see you around y/n” Hyunjin said as he lifted up his hand to shake yours. His lanky fingers were filled with bold rings, many of which were designer. A slight panic rushed through your mind as you didn’t want to scare him away with your clammy hands. The sweaty hands and the churning of your stomach was all due to Hyunjin nearness. Hesitantly you streched the tips of your fingers against the blond haired boy and his hand emitted warmth when being met with your fingertips. He smiled before turning back, his eyes forming into half moons as charming dimples errupted on his lean cheeks.

You bowed to the other staff members on your way out of the building on your way to meet Bangchan and Jisung in the changing room. The waterbottle in your hand almost slipped as you took another clunck of the fresh water and that’s when you noticed something. Stopping in the hallway where the stylists room was located you inspected the waterbottle and saw a black marker scribble on the wrapper around the bottle. Upon removing it your heart stopped. Your knees could give up at any moment from the sheer shock. Am I losing my mind? A number was loosely doodled on the white plastic wrapper and underneath it there was a message.

Call me

// Hyunjin

𝕋𝕒𝕘𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥

@vogueinnie @that-anxious-bisexual @putmetogetheragain13 @hyunsluvv @lawleighette @meow-minho @minaamhh @ohmysparkle @hwangi @rindomo @fleeingreality @nycol-ie @jisungsplatforms

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buckys-other-punk · 4 years ago

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Hold on..THIS IS YOU?!

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Request: where she is a fanfic writer and Sebastian stumbles upon her blog and messaged her as well not letting her know who he was but being an open person she is as to who she was, sending pictures and all, and until one day, decides to meet with her and she is surprised that it was the one she was writing for?

Word Count: 3.6K

Warnings: fluff, sarcasm (of course) and cussing? i think that’s all

A/N: Hello my lovelies. I am sorry I haven’t been posting as much, but that’s usually how I roll..no jk I legit had no time to write because of my classes this semester, so if this sucks I’m sorry lol. I’m still trying to get back into my writing groove...Also don’t mind my minor mistakes 😅

A/N 2: Anyways I AM BACK AND this is my first request ever!! I’m so excited to write this, I am soo sorry this took forever, but hope I did your request justice and that you like it (and so do others). I feel like I wrote this kinda cheesy, but whatever.

[Y/B/N = your blog name]

As always lemme know if you wanna be tagged in my future works and feedback is very much appreciated. Enjoy! <3

Just another normal day without stress and a less anxiety filled world...no, today was actually awful. You were swamped with work and your best friend was complaining about her boyfriend. Let’s just say that the stress she was having with him was making you feel happy that you were single. Trying to relax you heated up some coffee (a/n: or tea) and sat on the couch of your small apartment. Grabbing your laptop you wanted to unwind reading. Probably some fanfics on Tumblr usually does the trick.

After reading some pretty good marvel related fics by your mutuals, you got inspired to write some fics yourself. Opening up a new tab you began writing about your favorite actor, Sebastian Stan. That man literally makes your miserable day a little better. Sadly, like all the girls and women who fantasize over him, he doesn’t know you. But, whatever right? You can always use your imagination and conjure up a make believe world where the two of you are happily engaged and have a German Shepard puppy named Stitch. Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you opened another tab on your laptop to pull up your writing playlist, you began typing away on your keyboard writing a new AU where you’re the celebrity of the world you were creating and he was a huge fan of you. After you finished your new fic, you posted that immediately without edits because you were so excited to see people read it.

*across town*

“Have you guys ever read any fanfiction about your characters or yourselves?” the interviewer asked the pair.

“You know I’ve seen a few that were quite impressive. These writers are damn creative.” Anthony replied with a smile. “I will also not lie. I’ve read a few steamy ones and y’all are dirty.” he added with a slight disgusted face shaking his head towards the camera.

“What about you Sebastian? Have you read any?” the interviewer lady asked, looking over to the man.

“Honestly. I haven’t.” Sebastian chuckled looking back at her. “Maybe, if Mackie here finds a good one about me I’ll give it a read.” shrugging towards his friend.

“Oh man, I got a few that are worth reading.” Mackie laughed, rubbing his hands together.

“Hey, might as well share them with the world. Let’s give that writer a shout out!” she exclaimed, placing her notecards on her lap.

“Well, like I’ve said I’ve only read a bit, but I do have some blogs that I’ve saved. Maybe next time I’ll name drop a few and give fans some well deserved praise.” Anthony smiled looking at the two.

“Alright, well you better have a huge list for me.” the lady said with a smile looking at Anthony. “Thank you both again for your time. For everyone watching Falcon and the Winter Soldier comes out in March 2021.” She finished off the interview smiling and waving at the camera and the two men followed her actions as well. Once the cameras and mics were turned off the lady came back to the two men.

“Thank you again guys for your time” the lady said to the pair shaking their hands (a/n: ok let's pretend there is no corona in this world so yeah. Everyone is healthy and so is the world!). The two replied with a simple you’re welcome and another thanks in return.

“Wait, have you really read fanfiction before?” Sebastian asked his co-star as the pair walked towards their manager, who was waiting for them outside the room, getting their schedule for the pair’s next interview.

“I mean yeah. I got curious on what people were writing about us and our characters.” Anthony responded with a shrug looking down at his phone.

“Aren’t most of those like fifty shades of grey?” Sebastian asked, staring at his friend as stood near their manager.

“Only if you want them to be..” Mackie stared at his friend with a blank face as they came to an abrupt stop. “Nah man, I’m just playing. Some of them are steamy, others can be sad, like crazy sad and some are like tooth rotting cute. Like I recently read one that was with Captain America and this original character that the author came up with and it made me say ‘aww’ when I finished it. Me. A grown man said ‘aww’ after reading a fanfic. A FANFIC!” he added. Their manager quickly explained their schedule and walked them over to their car to head off to the next location. The two were seated at the back, while their manager sat next to the driver.

“You know what. Send me that story you read.” Sebastian said to Anthony.

“Are you sure Seb?” Anthony asked with a chuckle.

“Yeah, why not.” he replied with a shrug. “Might as well read a good story before our next interview.”

“Alright let me send it to you right now. Honestly I think this writer is one of my favorites. I don’t know if it's her writing style or how she portrays our characters, but she’s amazing.” Mackie said with a smile getting the fic he recently read and sending it to his friend.

“So all her stories are good?” Sebastian asked, looking at the notification.

“I just said that she is my favorite writer.” Anthony looked at his friend with a ‘are you serious face.’

“Okay. Okay.” Seb said with his arms up in defense. After a few minutes of reading the fanfic Sebastian actually said ‘aww’ aloud just like Mackie after he first read the story.

“It was good wasn’t it.” Anthony asked with a toothy grin.

“Yeah this was really good. Y/B/N is a pretty good writer.” Sebastian said looking through your feed.

“You should tell her!” Anthony exclaimed.

“What, like make an account?” Seb asked.

“Well yeah, but I mean not your actual name of course. Make a fan account. Show these writers your appreciation, I know that if I were an author I would love that (a/n: wink wink). I’ve messaged a few writers complimenting their work without actually telling them who I am.” Anthony said, placing his hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“I’m gonna read more stuff from her before I message her.” Sebastian chuckled. Sebastian clicked onto your main blog page to find that you had just posted a new fic about him. “Wait, dude she just posted a new story...About me!” Sebastian exclaimed, showing his phone to Anthony.

“Nice, but we have to finish these interviews. You gotta read it during your free time man, sorry to crush your dreams.” he chuckled, unbuckling his seat belt and getting out of the car. Sebastian sighed and followed his co-stars actions getting out of the car and continuing the rest of his day filled with interviews.

*later that evening*

After the interviews Anthony and Sebastian had dinner together at a fancy restaurant. During their dinner they talked about how crazy some interviews were. Sebastian brought up the subject of how Mackie publicly announced that he had read fanfiction. With that still stuck in his mind the two finished their meal and after parting ways. Sebastian took a cab and arrived at his apartment, changed out of his fancy suit to some comfy clothes and grabbed a bottle of water from his fridge. He walked over to his couch turning on the tv, not really paying attention to what was playing, grabbing his phone he opened the tumblr app finally creating an account.

*one week later*

Sebastian has read almost all of your works and texting Anthony almost every time after he has finished a new fic giving his reactions to each. He has liked and reblogged everything he has read from you and other writers, but he favors your stuff the most.

Mackie: dude you should tell her you like her stuff and stop texting me!

Seb: Alright I will, I just don't know what to say.

Mackie: Just say you like her work. It's as simple as that.

Seb: okay okay I will

Mackie: ok good, no stop texting my its legit 2 am

Seb: fine

Sebastian opened up the messaging area of the app and began typing away his appreciation to you. He didn’t know why he felt so nervous after he pressed send. Getting out of the app completely he tried to focus on whatever was playing on the tv. Then all of a sudden he heard a notification go off and his phone light up. Looking down on it he saw that it was a notification from you. Again his nervousness took place as he unlocked his phone to read the notification. The app opened and the direct message filled his phone screen.

(a/n: this is my first time using a fake dm thingy so just imagine that Seb is following you)

Seb: Holy shit dude, she actually replied back to me!

Mackie: Well of course she did, she's not a robot. But maybe she is since she’s up so late...

Seb: shut up and why are you still up? I though you were mad at me for texting you

Mackie: well you woke me up so what am i supposed to do

Seb: whatever I’ll let you go

Mackie: alright. bye lover boy

Sebastian shook his head at the text, he went back to the app to reply back to you. “What should I say?” he said to himself. “Maybe she’s in a different time zone or lives across the world or something… Okay okay. Maybe be chill and say I hope i didn’t wake you? No that sounds weird.” he shook his head trying to come up with something to say. Eventually he fell asleep trying to think of what to say to you.

*the next morning/later that day*

Sebastian woke up with his phone gone from his hand. He quickly got out of his bed in panic to look for it. Maybe you had said something to him or he had said something dumb to you. Once he found his phone he quickly unlocked it to check and thank god he didn’t say anything stupid. But he didn’t say anything. He shook his head clearing his thoughts. “Alright I think I know what to say.”

Y/N’s POV

You woke up to the sound of cars honking, groaning you looked at your clock. “How is it already 10 am?” you said aloud to nobody in particular. You sat up on your bed and grabbed your phone scrolling through various social media apps. At the top of your screen you saw a notification from tumblr. Opening the app to the notifications section, you noticed it was a blog that had messaged you from earlier in the morning.

sebstan_fan: Nice to meet you Y/N. I’m Carter. I don’t know where you live, but I just woke up and had a dream about one of your fics. (wow I hope that didn’t sound creepy)

You smiled at the message, since you loved interacting with your followers.

y/b/n: haha its ok. I actually live near New York City and I also woke up. What was your dream about? (if i can ask)

Sebastian’s POV

Sebastian had just finished taking a shower and began preparing his late breakfast. “Holy shit she replied again!” he said to himself looking at the message.

sebstan_fan: Wait, you live near NYC! Me too! Wow such a small world. But anyways my dream was honestly just a reenactment of your fic.

y/b/n: that’s so crazy how we live near each other lol. But that's so cool how you dreamt about my work. You must have really liked it.

sebstan_fan: yeah it was really interesting how you wrote such a life like scenario.

y/b/n: thank you Carter <3

sebstan_fan: ok I now this is random, but what’s your favorite place to eat in New York?

y/b/n: ooh that’s tough. Let’s go with Lombardi’s since its the very first pizza place to open in the US

sebstan_fan: oh wow an excellent choice :)

*a couple weeks later*

You and your new tumblr friend have been talking about one another’s favorite hobbies and interests for the past few weeks. You feel like you have grown a new connection with your new friend and telling them about your shitty days at work. Today your best friend wanted to bring you with her and her boyfriend to some fancy restaurant.

y/b/n: Carter, I’m practically third wheeling with her and her boyfriend.

sebstan_fan: well that sounds awful. Where is she taking you?

y/b/n: idk to some fancy restaurant I’ve never heard of. Anyways she’s making me wear fancy clothes, but I just wanna wear my pajamas!

sebstan_fan: y/n come on. you gotta dress nice if other people are dressing nice too

y/b/n: ughh ok I think I found something nice. *sends picture of yourself in an elegant dress* what about this?

Seb’s POV

Sebastian got a glass of water and sat back down on his couch. Unlocking his phone to see the new dm from you he spit his water out of his mouth wetting the coffee table in front of him. “HOLY SHIT SHE’S GORGEOUS!” he yelled aloud staring at his phone in awe of your beauty.

sebstan_fan: Y/N, you look amazing! That dress is literally making you glow!

y/b/n: stop you’re making me blush..my friend just pulled up. I’ll dm you later once this stupid night is over.

sebstan_fan: alright have fun

y/b/n: <3

Sebastian quickly called Mackie to tell him that you sent him a photo of yourself.

“Dude, she is unbelievably gorgeous. I actually spit my water out all over my coffee table when I saw the picture. ” Sebastian said on the phone.

“Man you are so obsessed with her, it's kinda creepy.” Anthony replied through the phone.

“What? No man, we just clicked. We have a bunch in common and she’s really easy to talk to.” Sebastian gushed to his friend.

“Yeah, but she doesn’t know that you’re lying to her about your real identity. You’re like fucking Superman with a secret persona!” Anthony snickered at the man on the other line.

“Dude no, but I’ll tell her eventually that I’m me.” Seb replied back to Anthony.

“Well you better do it soon because I’m tired of hearing about you gushing over this woman.” Anthony huffed under his breath. “Anyways I gotta go so bye bitch.”

Sebastian laughed at his friend hanging up the phone and heading to his room getting ready for bed. As he laid on his bed he couldn’t take his mind off of you in that dress. You were so open with sharing your life to him, a complete stranger, yet he couldn’t do the same.

*the next day*

y/b/n: Carter! I forgot to dm you once I got home, but that dinner was terrible. I hated every minute of it.

sebstan_fan: what happened? Also good morning :)

y/b/n: good morning, sorry if I woke you. But anyways my best friend and her boyfriend brought some dude to make it a double date and the guy was a complete douche. I couldn’t stand a minute being there.

sebstan_fan: damn I’m sorry to hear that. I bet if I was there with you the night wouldn’t have been so bad haha

y/b/n: creepy..jk But I bet we would have completely ditched my friend and her boyfriend lol

sebstan_fan: wait, I got an idea! I mean since we live around the same area why don’t we meet!

y/b/n: what like in person?

sebstan_fan: no through zoom, yes in person!

y/b/n: wow the sarcasm in this one, but that sounds like a lovely idea. I feel like I already know so much about you tho...

Sebastian huffed under his breath, “not everything.”

sebstan_fan: lol yeah but it’ll be different to meet in person. Anyways where should we meet?

y/b/n: lol that’s true. Well I know this small cafe that’s so cute and I heard they have pretty good pastries. It would be awesome to meet there :D

sebstan_fan: alright how about Saturday afternoon? You don’t have work right?

y/b/n: nope I’m off! but that sounds good to me! I’m so excited and nervous at the same time. Like what if you’re some creepy stalker...

Sebstan_fan: why would you accuse me of such a thing?!

y/b/n: lol you know i’m just messing with you. But I gotta go my friend is now calling me, probably about that douche from last night...but I can’t wait to see you Carter!<3

“Yeah, me too.” Sebastian said to himself smiling.

*Saturday*

You sat at the cafe where you told your new tumblr friend to meet you. You ordered a drink and once it was finished, you grabbed it and sat near the windows saving a seat for Carter. As you waited you pulled out your laptop and began on typing away a new fic idea drawing inspiration from the small cafe and the gloomy weather outside.

“I’m sorry that seat’s taken...” you muttered to a man who pulled out the chain next to you, looking up at the figure. “Holy shit!” you exclaimed to the man who sat next to you.

“Shhhh...Please don’t say anything.” Sebastian whispered to you, sitting on the chair next to you and taking off his sunglasses.

“What? But how? You’re!? I can’t breathe.” you exclaimed erratically looking down at your drink.

“Hey, hey Y/N, just calm down and take slow deep breaths.” he said calmly placing his hand on your back.

“How the fuck do you know my name?!” you exclaimed again staring wide eyed at the actor. “Am I getting pranked or something? Where are the cameras?!” you nervously laughed looking around the empty cafe.

“No, you’re not getting pranked. It’s me Carter…” he said quietly rubbing the back of his head.

“You’re Carter?! I thought you were a girl!” you said looking into the man’s blue eyes.

“I may have lied about who I was, but I wanted to meet you.” he started as he stared down at the ground. “I didn’t want you to freak out knowing that it was actually me.” he said looking back up at you.

“Let me just gather my thoughts for a sec.” you said, putting your hand to your temples.

“Wait, why did you assume I was a girl?” he asked with a smirk.

“I don’t know! Carter is a unisex name.” you frantically said with a shrug. “And I mean most of my followers are female, so I just assumed you were one too.” you added grabbing your drink and taking a sip to calm your nerves.

“That makes sense I guess.” he said chuckling, looking out the big window of the cafe.

“This is so crazy that you are here. Sitting next to me and talking about my stupid tumblr blog.” you uttered. “Like you’re famous!”

“Yeah so what.” he looked back to you.

“I mean aren’t you busy filming and stuff?” you asked the man.

“Nope, we just wrapped up the interviews a couple of weeks ago. I’m on vacation.” he said with a toothy grin, which made you blush. “Aww look she’s blushing.” he said sweetly towards you.

“Shut up. It’s not like I get to meet my favorite actor who I’ve had a crush on since forever sitting next to me and casually conversing with.” you muttered quickly hoping he didn’t hear your profession of love for him.

“You got a crush on me?” he smiled at you.

“Fuck you. I do not!” you exclaimed looking away from him.

“Aww I think you do.” he said, nudging your shoulder.

“Whatever.” you said under your breath trying to hide your embarrassment.

“Hey, I’m in awe too.” he began, which made you look at him. “It’s not like I get to see a beautiful woman who I like.” he smirked at you.

“I think I’m dreaming. Did you just say you like me?!” you asked pinching yourself back into reality.

“I mean yeah. I really like your work as a writer and the past what month we’ve been talking I think you’re a really cool and sweet person.” he said now blushing.

“I bet you say that to all the women you meet.” scoffing at his comment.

“No I’m serious Y/N. I think you’re a really talented writer. And I think you’re also really pretty.” again blushing, but this time he looked straight at you.

“Oh, wow. Thank you so much Sebastian.” you hesitated, your cheeks heating up. “That means a lot coming from you.” you smiled.

“Of course. And also I wanted to ask you in person if after coming clear about who I actually am, if you wanted to go out sometime. I know its weird and all sudden but-”

“Yes!” you exclaimed quickly cutting him off. “I mean. I would love to.” you said more calmly. “God, I’m trying so hard to keep my inner fangirl in.” you huffed under your breath.

Sebastian laughed at your comment and then asked, “Alright then. What about tomorrow I take you out for dinner?”

“That sounds delightful.” you smiled at the man. The two of you fell silent watching the people who passed by the small cafe.

“Oh, but can I ask you one more question? Why are you wearing a hat? And shades earlier? It's legit rainy and cloudy as hell outside.” you asked, looking at the man with your head resting on your hand.

“I’m going incognito. I don’t want my fans to recognize me.” he replied, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Are you embarrassed of them seeing you with me?” you hesitantly interrogated.

“No, I just don't want them to interrupt our first date.” he responded with a smirk looking at you.

“Wait, this is a date?!” you exclaimed with wide eyes.

“Only if you want it to be sweetheart.” Sebastian smirked, winking towards you.

“Fuck you.” You said with a smile.

A/N: Yay you finished! Was that good? bad? cheesy? lemme know lol Again if you wanna be tagged in future fics, have any requests or just wanna chat hit me up! Thank you guys for reading and I hope you get excited for more stuff to come.

Tags: @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @sebtheromanianprince @aquabrie @who-the-hell-is-sebastianstan @princess76179 @anbrax5553 @wintersoldierissucharide @caplanbuckybarnes @miraclesoflove @kitkatd7 @msgreenverse @saiyanprincessswanie @fandomsandxfiles @hailmary-yramliah @coffeebooksandfandom @thefallenbibliophilequote

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