#had this scheduled out for more Optimal Posting Time but then got impatient

[obstinaterixatrix]

day 2 of ryukita week, here are some bodyswap comics~ had a convo with pita about them, I'll put it under the cut

[thethousandyearwitch]

The Show Must Go On! - A Youtuber AU you didn’t want and didn’t need

Hisoka Morrow, italian Makeup Youtuber, enjoys his life in the comfort and occasional drama of his profession. But nothing brings more drama into his life than the eldest son of the Zoldyck fashion magazine empire.

Meanwhile, aspiring australian Twitch Streamer Gon Freecs forms a special bond to a Speedrunner commonly going by "Kil".

Chapter 2

FF.net link - AO3 link

Gon Freecs had started his twitch account mostly for fun. After he had saved enough of his money from summer jobs to afford a computer for himself, the young boy had discovered the vast world of video games, diving headfirst into whatever flash games or free steam games he could (Until Mito caved and gave him some redeemable online gift cards as a present). Pretty quickly he started making connections over some of those games, getting invited to discord groupchats, and developing friendships with people he’d frequently play with.

One Day, his friend Leorio, a medical student from France who Gon had met through one of those groupchats, asked if he wanted to join his Sunday Stream. He explained that they’d just team up for a couple of rounds of Fortnite, and Gon could leave whenever he wanted to if he ended up not liking the Twitch experience. Leorio did not admit to the fact that he only asked Gon because his usual partner bailed due to a bad hangover, and he himself was too hungover to manage a stream by himself. This resulted in a lively evening filled with banter, excited yelling, and only minor technical difficulties considering Gons location further out in the country. Leorio ended the stream, thanking his viewers, signing off, but he stayed on call with Gon.

“Thanks so much for jumping in today, I owe you!” His French accent wasn’t too thick, but it still curled around his words.  

“Its no problem! It was actually pretty fun, so if you ever need another stream-pal...” The young boy trailed off as he started to feel faint traces of sleepiness creeping up on him. His computer screen was the only light on in the room, and it wasn’t exactly gentle on his eyes.

“About that actually; Have you thought about trying to stream for yourself?”

“Huh?” Gon could hear the tell-tale creaking of Leorios chair as he reclined back. “I mean, you’ve definitely got the energy for it, you’re not half bad at playing video games; Though that’s not really a requirement...Point is, I think you’d have fun with it.” Gon let the thought of it roll around his mind like a marble. He did have a lot of fun livestreaming this once, and there wasn’t anything that exactly spoke against it, except maybe that his sleep schedule could suffer under it. But that may as well be expected of a boy his age.

“Do you think people would really come to watch me play video games?” He finally asked, voice lined more with curiosity rather than insecurity. “Are you kidding? My chat loved you! Everyone loves a cute kid whose always one victory royale away from changing his legal name into his gamer tag and develop an addiction to monster energy.” Gon giggled in reply, “I’m not even allowed to drink those.” “Thank God you aren’t, if you had any more energy than you already have, you’d probably explode on the spot. Those things are loaded with junk anyways.” Gon decided not to bring up the infamous Redbull-pyramid that always lingered in the corner of Leorios videos. He could always use that another time if Leorio tried to lecture him about healthy living habits.

“Well, I guess I could try it out this week…But I think I’d need a guide to help me set the whole thing up…” Gon grinned to himself, hearing the familiar creaking again as Leorio sat up straight on the other end.

“I mean, I did say I owe you, and who would I be to leave a kid struggling with modern technology. And since my chat seemed to love you, I may even host your first stream, get you some exposure, y’know?” Mission success, Gon fed into Leorios ego and ensured that he wouldn’t have to struggle with stream setup by himself. He was quite thankful for the older mans (by stretch of that word) help and friendship, almost like an older brother, switching between caring protectiveness and friendly torment.

“Now, isn’t it time for you to get some shut-eye?” Busted. Gon glanced at the clock in the corner of his screen, 12:13 am. They said their Goodbyes, and the young boy settled into bed almost as quickly as he fell asleep.

The coming week, as promised, Leorio had helped Gon figure out his stream setup, settling for his channel name ‘Foxbeargaming’. With each passing day and conversation about the topic, Gon felt the static inside him build up, excitement and anticipation mixing in his bloodstream, until that long-awaited Friday.

And it was worth that wait. Gon spend a good 3 hours that day streaming Fortnite, at first in Teams with Leorio and his usual stream-pal Zepile, and later a few single matches. He hadn’t even realized how easy it came to him to interact with chat, leisurely talking about what came to mind, joking about events in the game, and just basking in this new way of releasing his bubbly energy. Leorio had warned him that he may feel exhausted after the first stream, but that’s not at all what the young boy experienced; After turning everything off, he was still beaming with joy. When he nestled into bed, he curled to his side, trying to repress his smile, though it would still take a good hour before he had calmed down enough to drift to sleep.

That joy he had experienced was enough to drive him to continue to stream at least once every 5 days, not consistent enough to build a schedule, but often enough to slowly gather a fanbase, loyal viewers who started tuning in whenever he announced a stream. It took a couple of months before people started posting his stream highlights to YouTube, and after that only a few weeks before someone offered to do official edits for him, on his own YouTube channel. A YouTube channel ended up drawing even more attention to him, people in Twitch-chat mentioning they found him through compilations and highlights.

Of the people whose attention was caught by the bright faced boy, one appeared for the first time in chat while he was streaming Super Mario 64, a palate cleanser from his usual Fortnite streams. The first message had been inconspicuous enough, provoking, but not too much out of the ordinary.

“KilCat666: try a BLJ lol”  

This however prompted Gon's entire chat to egg him on to try various speedrun tactics, until the rest of the stream was spent attempting (and failing) a “Lobby Backwards Long Jump”. Gon took it well and promised chat that if they wanted to he’d try to practice again on the next stream, asking for tips in his Discord chat. Speedrunning wasn’t really his way of playing games, he was too impatient and would rather experience the game as intended, but it shook things up, and was a surprisingly great way to regain focus after playing a different game for too long. Soon enough, the Server started bubbling with tutorials, tips, and heated discussions about optimal routes. Gon read through the chat, enjoying how everyone seemed to get into the topic, while also mourning his dwindling attention span as more and more messages came in. With the overflow of information, his brain felt like it was thrown into a deep fryer (Though maybe he was just hungry). Defeated, he dropped his head on his desk. Maybe he bit off more than he could chew. How was he supposed to take all this information in and actually learn it in time for the next stream? This was worse than school. Maybe he should ju-

Bloop.

Gon raised his head from his desk, greeted by a new private message. It wasn’t anyone from his friends-list, but that wasn’t too unusual, a lot of people from his Server would DM him, and he didn’t mind talking with anyone who had something to say to him.

“Kil: Yo.”

“Kil: do you need like help with SM64 lol”

The young boy adjusted his tired eyes to the screen, trying to find recognition into the profile picture of a white cat, but not finding it.

“GON: Hi!! :^D I’m taking tips right now if you have any!”

“Kil: your inputs were really sloppy lol”

Ouch, though true.

“Kil: but you’ve got morale at least”

“Kil: I made a short guide on my channel, if u wanna check it out?”

Attached to the last message was a link to a YouTube video, and just as announced, it was a eight minute tutorial on “LBLJ”, with text overlay explaining the various steps. What stood out more to Gon however, was the view and subscriber count to the Channel ‘Kilcat666’. After scrolling through the channel a bit more, and following another link to an adjacent Twitch channel with the same name, it dawned on him; This guy was a pro.

“GON: WOW :^O you are really good at this!!!!”

For a while, Gon thought that’s it. He browsed through a couple more of this kid’s videos. He was usually just referred to as ‘Kil’ or in rare instances ‘Killu’, and there wasn’t much on him as a person, just a short bio: “Kil, 14, him/his, Yorkshire area. SM64 0 Star contender.”. His streams of attempting to break the World record for any given game got a reasonable amount of viewers, with a steady fanbase that would spam inside jokes and cat emojis in chat. And in no single video did he ever show his face, or even speak. The only real communication he seemed to do with his audience was the occasional answer in chat, or text-overlays in his YouTube videos. Gon thought about how he was a little honoured to have another well known streamer actually give him advice and watch his stuff, though obviously it seemed that Kil wasn’t interested in keeping more in conta-

Bloop.

“Kil: Thanks uh, if you’d want to, we could like make a deal?”

“GON: What kind of deal? :^O”

“Kil: I could show you some tricks for casual speedrunning”

“Kil: And maybe if you want to you could show me how to get better at fortnite lol”

Gon was beaming. He wasn’t sure why, but he was grinning from ear to ear, and it didn’t even register to himself that he was already typing up a response until he hit the enter button.

“GON: Sure!!!!!! :^D!!!! Have you ever played before? We can team up with a friend of mine for the first couple rounds!”

  Killua was never a child with many friends. Or any friends. Growing up sheltered by his family, with the mindset of one day inheriting a multimillion-dollar company, it was taught to him that acquaintances were convenient, friends were distractions.

When he got pulled out of school and put into home-schooling, it was because his friends at school were distractions.

When he snuck out to play with other kids in the country, he was placed on supervised house arrest, because he had been too distracted.

When he noticed his brother appearing in some weirdos YouTube video, he had to be told “That man is not my friend, he is a work associate.”

And like a drop of water can gradually tear through stone, the constant echoing of this rule tore through Killuas head. He still didn’t want to overtake the family legacy, but he knew better than to endanger others with his efforts of finding friendship. Instead, he decided to find solitary distractions, and found those in video games he first borrowed (or rather, took without being noticed) from his older brother. Gradually, he got more and more invested in video games, how they work, and the cultures surrounding them. That is how he found out about Speedrunning and streaming. Speedrunning was fascinating to the young boy. The effort to clear a game as fast as possible, faster than anyone else, past all supposed limitations a game would present casual players with. Specific tricks would look messy and incoherent to untrained eyes, but the hidden inputs were mechanical and exact. This is a distraction worth investing in.

At first, he didn’t care much about streaming or even recording his attempts. However, as he was slowly approaching Regional and World Records, there was hardly a way around it if he wanted to get verified records published. So, he started a Twitch Account, opting to go for his shortened name “Kil”, a half-assed attempt at keeping his family off of his tail. And as his collection of Top-3 Records grew, so did his audience when he was streaming attempts. When he got used enough to a game, he learned how to read chat while playing, even occasionally taking the time to answer questions, followed by a wave of excited cat emotes.

These are not friends, they are fans.

If he could continue to justify this, keep these people at a distance from him, it would be fine. Minimal interaction. No attachment. Easy enough.

It should have been easy enough.

But when he went through active play sessions of Super Mario 64 on Twitch, and he chose to tune into the first stream that popped up, it stopped being easy. It stopped being easy when he found himself laughing along with the cheery voice of the young streamer.

He wasn’t sure what he expected when he sent that first discord message. A small part of him hoped that this Gon kid wouldn’t reply. That way he could have just written him off as some vain lowtier streamer who isn’t worth Killuas time.

But of course he replied. And of course he would reply so kindly despite being contacted by a random stranger. Killua could feel something pull in his chest writing back and forth with Gon. This was just friendly- no. This was normal banter between two streamers who were exchanging helpful information. Two young, up-and-coming professionals in video game streaming, who can communicate like professionals.

Like work associates.

Work associates help each other out. They make deals. So, it would be okay if Killua would make a deal with Gon. Maybe get to know him in the progress, just a little, just enough to get a sense of his personality.

The pull in Killuas chest subsided when Gon agreed to his deal. But it would come back the first time they were on a call together, the first time Killua let someone else online hear his voice, hushed through a shitty in-ear cable headset, careful that he wouldn’t draw attention if someone were to walk past his room. And it subsided again when he heard Gon laugh at every bad joke he’d tell, loosened even more when he let himself laugh with him. Gon would try his best to follow any instructions he’d been given to learn speedrun strategies, and in turn Killua would let himself be guided through fortnite battles and aim-lessons. They worked well together, as if they had known each other for years, falling into a natural rhythm of jokes and casual conversation. This rhythm would continue for weeks, always coordinating when to call, taking turns with the games they would play.

Slowly, they started branching out to more games to play with each other. Slowly, Gon introduced Killua to his friends. Slowly, Killua got used to speaking on stream, just so Gon and he could guest-star on each other’s streams.

Through this gradual process, Killua felt like he was trapped in a pot of water, and the heat was being turned up just slow enough that he wouldn’t notice until its too late. Until the pull in his chest would threaten to tear him apart.

And then it did, as his mother raised her voice at the breakfast table, “You’ve been spending an awful lot of time on your Computer, Killua.”

“So is Milluki.” He tried to keep his voice unwavering, desperately trying to keep all of these gathered secrets behind it.

“We are just concerned of what you are doing on there; The internet has a lot of dangerous sides..” Kikyo Zoldyck was awfully good at turning her voice into a wail at any given time. Killua could feel his phone in his pocket vibrate from what he was sure was a message from Gon.

“..Maybe we should put some restriction on your use of it. Before it can start distracting you.”

[petersquips]

Stark Contrast [CHAPTER FOUR pt 1]

Masterlist | Introduction | Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three || Chapter Four (pt 2)

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Word count: 3,473

Warnings: None for this half :)

Chapter Summary: As Y/N returns to school for the first time after her suspension, she finds herself stuck in a tricky web of rumors and gossip.

A/N: This chapter is SOOOOO dense that it was taking forever, and I want to keep it as one chapter for the flow of the content, but I also wanted to update finally, so I’ve split Chapter 4 into two parts. Part two should be posted next Thursday the 23rd.

If you want to be added to the tag list for this fic, Inbox me and I‘ll add your username. Members of the tag list MUST reblog. I look forward to your feedback, friends!

Chapter Four

Y/N was drenched in sweat as she wandered back to her room, the orange morning light flooding in through the plentiful windows and dancing across her glistening skin. She had asked JARVIS to wake her up extra early. 4:45 am was a ridiculous time to be waking up in the morning, but she did it anyway for the sake of running with Cap again. He seemed surprised to see her again when the teen walked out on the front walk and began stretching as though it wasn’t a skill she’d just been taught yesterday, but the man was supportive of it, and pushed her like a coach to run harder, faster, and further. By the time Y/N returned to the comfort of her shower her entire body was acidic with the burn from the morning workout. Her body had not been prepared for this sudden and intense regime. Her muscles ached and she felt the soreness in her joints as she tried to lather the parts of her body that were hard to reach. The water was soothing, but it did nothing for the pain. It made her feel crazy for wanting to continue to run with Steve Rogers and his super-soldier form. He was genetically engineered to run harder, faster, and further than any normal human could, and Y/N knew her joining him was cutting his workout into a mere speed walk for the man. There was a part of her that still thought she may be able to keep up one day if she worked hard enough, but she knew that wasn’t a realistic goal for a teenage girl who’s most impressive quality was her incessant determination. Even knowing that she could never improve enough to complete Cap’s full workout, she appreciated the bond she felt as the two wordlessly raced through the empty upstate streets.

The teen shut off the water in a hurried attempt to be on time. She hadn’t exactly thought about how this new morning ritual would fit into her schedule which of course meant she was running late for school. Normally it probably wouldn’t concern her too much, but Y/N had promised Peter a ride. In part, it was a thank you for taking her to the sister march. She was still running on the high that came from feeling like a part of a movement. It didn’t solve her problems with Amadeus and everything that had happened after, but it made her feel hopeful she could figure those things out and Y/N had Peter to thank for sharing his incessant optimism. He was a kind and caring friend and it made a warmth radiate in the girl's chest as she rushed over to her closet. Pressed for time she flipped through her closet and tore out her classic skinny jeans and stumbled into them, her tired limbs screaming at her for so much as using them. As she balanced on one sore leg, trying to pull the clothing over the other her muscles gave out and she crashed down onto the cold wood floor. The girl winced at the pain but took the opportunity to pull her jeans up around to her knees before pushing herself up with what little bicep she had. Y/N was so far past trying and mindlessly pulled a random t-shirt from the closet. She began jogging toward the bedroom door as she pulled the shirt over her head, not stopping to so much as look at it when she bounded down the steps to the mess hall.

“Good work this morning, kid,” Steve offered as he held up a high five that Y/N casually took, hiding the amount of pain that came with swinging her arm as she sat down on the stool to his right.

Just as usual, Tony and Steve had been chatting over coffee at the breakfast bar, but Pepper had left for Atlanta on an early flight that morning. She had a clean energy conference that she was hosting a panel for as the CEO of Stark Industries. The woman had been stressed out and relentlessly preparing for it all week, but Y/N knew if anyone could command a room it was Pepper Potts. So Y/N joined the men in her life, who had used this excuse to simply throw a box of bakery goods on the island counter and call it breakfast. Y/N eagerly snagged a breakfast doughnut from the box and she had just shoved her mouth full of the sweet treat when Tony humorously asked, “Where’d you get the shirt?”

Y/N glanced down at the graphic on her chest, completely unsure what she had placed on her aching body before carelessly answering, “Some stand outside the airport.” She took another bite of the doughnut, but her mouth was getting dry from trying to consume the bread so quickly, but she was going to do anything to catch up with time and pick up Peter.

Tony nodded with a smile teasing, “Spider-Man, huh?” as he circled around the island. He passed behind Steve and reached up to Y/N’s neck. “Tag’s still on it,” he commented as the man instinctively snapped the plastic piece holding the paper barcode to the fabric and moved to the trash can to throw it away.

The teen carelessly explained, “It’s just tourist crap.” Y/N hated tourist merchandise with crappy graphic designs like ‘I♥︎NY’. It was useless and ugly waste that no one would ever wear once they got home. She’d purchased the shirt when she first arrived in New York a month ago. Y/N had no intention of purchasing any overpriced goods when she’d landed, but something about the comic-y rendering of Spider-Man drew the girl’s attention. Maybe it had been the nerves of having to meet her biological father for the first time in her life, or maybe it was just the change of air. Either way, Y/N had impulsively handed cash over to the kind merchant and left with the shirt she was now wearing. It seemed so long ago already, and even if her life had been turbulent since moving into the Avengers Facility, she had at least gotten used to the fact that it was different. She no longer felt like she was in denial about who her biological father was or the fact that she was living among superheroes. It seemed normal to her as she elaborated, “Superheroes are as big of a staple of New York as the empire state building… or taxis. There were a million others just like it at the airport.”

“What? You didn’t want to get a shirt of your old man?” Tony teased smugly as he leaned onto his elbows on the counter across from his daughter. Y/N rolled her eyes at her obnoxious father and took another large bite of doughnut. The man continued to poke fun as he looked at Steve and dramatically assumed, “They were probably all out of Iron Man shirts."

“Or they were all rusted in the back,” Y/N quipped back over a dry mouth full of bread. Steve gave the teen a disapproving face, but simply shrugged at him and jumped off her stool. Tony paused for a moment, staring at his daughter with his jaw slightly agape and his brows furrowed in a mix of pride and offense as she walked behind him to fill a glass with water. His expression morphed to mischievous smile when he asked, “Aren’t you picking up Peter Parker this morning?”

“Yeah. Why?” Y/N responded carelessly as she sipped the cold water. She wanted to be grateful for the change of subject, but Tony’s humored mannerisms made the girl weary. Instead of saying a word Tony began to turn red in the face. She could see him trying to maintain his composure as he tensed so hard the vein began to pop out in his forehead. Y/N couldn’t so much as ask what was so funny before the man burst, letting out a long wheeze of hilarity. “What?” Y/N inquired impatiently. She was completely in the dark about what he was so clearly amused by. The girl began to feel insecure about the shirt. Clearly, there was something about Spider-Man in New York that she didn’t know, something that meant she shouldn’t be wearing that shirt. Y/N aggressively slammed down her glass and insisted, “You’re impossible!” Her father inhaled and began almost silently laughing hysterically. He moved his hands in an attempt to communicate but was unable to speak between fits of breathless chuckling. Obviously, she didn’t get the joke and she didn’t want to sit around and be the butt of it. She had to leave to get Peter anyway, so Y/N scooped up her backpack from the floor and hurried toward the exit, holding up a rebellious middle finger behind her on her way out.

“Language!” Steve yelled after the teen.

Y/N pulled down her hand and smiled, calling to the Captain over her shoulder, “Didn’t say anything.”

She did love getting the last word, so before anything more could be said Y/N broke into a shaky jog across the glossy floors of the building, hurrying out to the entryway where her Audi was just pulling up. Y/N sighed in relief as she began climbing into the driver’s door. When she attempted to sit her muscles gave way and she more collapsed conveniently into the seat. Without any hesitation, Y/N tossed her backpack into the backseat and slammed the door shut, instantly punching the gas. the sportswear loudly sped down the driveway and Y/N watched the needle on the speedometer as it climbed to rebellious highway speeds.

When she pulled up to the curb outside Peter’s apartment building the boy was already standing by the street with his heavy backpack slung over one shoulder. He carelessly pulled the earbuds from his ears one by one and opened the passenger door, stumbling as he attempted to climb into the low car. Peter fell into the seat and quickly readjusted, shoving his book bag under the dash at his feet. He turned to buckle in but paused as a cheeky grin slipped onto his face. Peter moved to click the seatbelt together as he mentioned, “I like your shirt.”

Y/N felt the embarrassment already setting back in from this morning. She instinctively rolled her eyes and begged, “Not you, too…” She moved the gear shift to drive and pulled away from the curb as she rambled on, “I just spent the whole morning being teased by Tony for it and I wish I hadn’t worn it. I was in a hurry-“

“No, no, no!” Peter trailed urgently over the girl’s maundering. “It’s cool,” he insisted. Smiling wider before trying to maintain a serious composure and wiping the joy from his face in a tough-guise.“Spider-Man… He’s cool,” The boy reiterated.

Y/N was hesitant to let her guard down and suspiciously asked, “You really think so? There’s not some big thing I don’t know about Spider-Man?”

Peter’s eyes grew wide and he smiled at the obvious flaw in Y/N’s phrasing and he pandered, “I mean, his identity, but—”

“You know what I meant!” Y/N aggressively argued. The boy threw his hands up in innocence as he pushed back into the passenger door. It made Y/N grow quiet in embarrassment. She hadn’t intended to be so reactive, and it wasn’t Peter’s fault she was feeling insecure. The girl could feel the blood flow down from her head, calming her to a normal composure as she swallowed her pride and admitted, “I’m sorry. I guess I’m just a little on edge about coming back from my suspension.” Peter slowly put his hands down and resumed his comfortable posture as he stared at Y/N. He was clearly listening intensely and it made the girl wonder how she ever could have snapped at him after everything he’d done for her in just under a month of knowing each other. Y/N sighed, knowing Peter was waiting for her to go on in her vulnerability, and continued. “I have to go in there and face Amadeus Cho. Now he’s had a week to establish his story in the population, and I’ve not been there to defend myself. At the end of the day, I hit him with the lunch tray because it was his word over mine. I didn’t stop the situation, I just made it worse.”

Peter nodded slowly as he took in what the girl was saying. She wanted to apologize at that moment for continuing to vent about the whole thing around him, but then she thought about how he helped her out of the party, how scared and protective he seemed in all of it, and she thought better of it. It seemed no wonder Peter was so good at having these conversations. He was a part of that experience. He’d seen her in that distress and he didn’t hesitate, but being a hero could take a toll too. They had just braked at a stop light when Peter honestly mentioned, “It’s probably not going to be great.” Y/N glanced at the boy, who looked tense. His brow was furrowed and his jaw was strained as he struggled with the hard honesty. “People have been talking, and they seem pretty set on their story. I don’t want to be right about this, but you’re probably going to be outcast.” The girl struggled with the cold truth as it froze her heart and shot ice through her veins. Though it was difficult to hear, she was thankful for Peter’s honesty. The light turned to green and Y/N faced the road again as she drove on. She was surprised when her friend continued in a new optimistic tone, “But you still have me. Ned and MJ know the real story. You probably have a few others on your side, too. We might not be the cool crowd, but that doesn’t seem to have bothered you yet.”

Y/N felt the warmth of his words calming her rigid fear. When he put it like that, it sounded better than what she had dealt with at Midtown before. The relaxation and twisted joy seemed to complex to put into words, so Y/N simply said, “You’re cool, Parker,” as a half smile met her lips.

Peter smiled and sat up in his seat in satisfaction, changing the subject as he asked, “So Spider-Man, huh?”

The return to the previous conversation made Y/N playfully roll her eyes and shake her head as they drove, catching a glimpse of the sunlight flickering through the trees behind Peter’s head. He held the expression of a middle schooler teasing their friend about a new secret crush, and it was as adorable as it was annoying. “What about him?” Y/N countered as the schoolyard came into view.

“You like him,” Peter stated smugly.

Y/N began to protest, challenging the boy, “Who said I liked him?”

Peter didn’t miss a beat to nonchalantly point out, “You’re wearing a Spider-Man shirt.”

Y/N glanced at the boy in the passenger seat as she braked at a stop sign and adjusted in her seat, grimacing at the soreness in her legs from the run. The girl tiredly shrugged and admitted, “Touché.”  Peter looked satisfied with himself, and Y/N wanted to banter but couldn’t find it in herself to do anything more than smile.

They finally pulled into the school parking lot, but instead of traveling down the rows, Y/N threw the gearshift into park directly in front of the main entrance. The girl leaned over her right shoulder and reached into the backseat, struggling to pull her backpack through the small space between her and Peter. It was heavy and her aching muscles struggled to manage it, losing control once it finally broke free and incidentally letting it hit the car horn. Y/N cringed as the eyes of all the students in the parking lot turned toward her Audi. Even worse was the staff member manning the parking lot who began hurrying across the entryway to tell her off for parking in the way. She figured it was now or never to flaunt the joys of being a Stark.

“Get out,” Y/N commanded to Peter, who hurriedly grabbed his backpack. He looked at his friend in frantic confusion as she opened her door, quickly turning to step out as well.

“HEY! YOU CAN’T PARK THERE!” the faculty member yelled as he broke into a run to berate the girl.

Peter spun around to look at his friend over the roof of the short car, wide-eyed and panicked. Y/N smiled mischievously back at the perplexed boy and began walking away from the vehicle. She felt the soreness in her legs but maintained her smug composure. Peter stared after her for a moment before jogging to catch up to her, striding by her side. The high-strung man who’d been yelling at her finally reached the two students, reprimanding, “Young lady, I don’t care how rich you are, you cannot park there—”

“I didn’t,” Y/N commented, not so much as hesitating as she passed by the staff member. The man looked past the girl he was scolding and gaped, causing Peter to spin around quick, walking backwards as he processed the missing sports car. A smirk popped onto his face when he finally spotted the Audi parking itself across the lot, understanding the obnoxious stunt Y/N had just pulled, much to the disdain of the uptight parking monitor. The boy swung around and jogged back to his friend’s side with a sense of mischievous pride for being a part of the stunt they’d just pulled, whether or not he know what was going on at the time.

The two made their way to Peter’s locker, where Ned was waiting as always. He looked up from his phone and grinned kindly when he saw Peter and Y/N walking up, shoving his phone into his pocket as Peter began spinning his combination into the steel wheel. “Hey,” Ned greeted with a beaming smile he always seemed to have. Forever the optimist, Ned balanced out the dynamic of Peter and MJ perfectly. Ned finally noticed Y/N’s shirt and burst out excitedly, “You like Spider-Man?”

Y/N hadn’t realized when she threw it on this morning what a talking point it would be, and it honestly made her regret it just a bit. Still, she smiled shyly at her friend and responded, “Yeah, I guess.” It seemed like no big deal to the girl, but Ned seemed thrilled as he nudged Peter amiably. Y/N couldn’t help but laugh at the interaction and make the assumption that “You two are pretty big Spider-Fans, aren’t you?” She was delighted by the adorable jolt of excitement they both seemed to get regarding the web-slinging hero.

“Well, Peter—“ Ned began as he turned to come face to face with Peter’s wide eyes and pursed lips. Y/N watched as they had yet another one of their silent conversations, in which Peter shook his head vigorously at whatever he suspected Ned was about to say. It made the girl smile at how easily he was embarrassed. Ned suddenly turned back to Y/N and insisted, “We’re big fans,” with a big smile. Y/N couldn’t help but giggle and shake her head at the strange behavior of her friends. She found it enduring that they would get so childishly giddy, at least Ned was. Peter looked like he wanted to bury his head in his locker.

Over Ned’s shoulder, Y/N suddenly noticed the cold air of Amadeus Cho appearing at the end of the hall. She felt her expression shift to concern and she was powerless to stop it. It felt like a weakness to reveal that she was still scared, but she wanted to be anywhere but in that hallway at that moment. “Well, hey,” the girl began quickly before excusing herself, “I’ve got to get to class, but I’ll see you two later, yeah?” The two boys nodded slowly and watched as the girl very suddenly took off down the hall to her AP Lit classroom. She knew it was weird, and she was ashamed she was letting Cho control her like this, but she really didn’t want to even see him. It was too much emotionally, and Y/N just wanted to go back to being a normal student.

Taglist

@ace-ingthroughlife-jk @just4muggles @i-alyssa @bravest-at-heart @bookgirlunicorn @really-lucas @loud-binch @alextheodd @avoirlu @tumbleerrtrash @amazingficsthatididnotwrite @superspideyparker @whatevsmels @royal-sunflower @spiderman-masterlists @goldenrose1099 @fav-fan-ficccs @iamburdened @justalittlecrazybutimok @takenbymyfandoms @elioelioeli0 @potterheadbbc @-thatgirloverthere- @tomshufflepuff @peter-spider-parker-man @maddie-laufeyson @jackiehollanderr @mariah-danielle-winchester @hortonhearsahoeblr @lokimercuri @loxbbg @justanothermarvelfanaccount @darkblueeyedperson @faloncarington @creativedogs @cosmicparkerr @grippleback-galaxy @littledaph @shallowshawn

[too-old-for-fangirling-but-idc]

In Your Veins Chpt.1

Title: In Your Veins Chapter 1

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Tom’s behaviour starts to get weird after he got lost while on his way back home from the airport in the middle of the night.

Pairing: eventually Tom Hiddleston/Chris Hemsworth

Warnings:   Weight Issues, Side Effects, Exhaustion, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Kidnapping, Survival Horror, Heavy Angst, Feels and Hurt/Comfort, Protective Luke, Mental Instability, Triggers implied/Referenced Self-Harm

Notes: This is like one of my “older” things on which I’m still writing. And it’s definitely one of my darker fics, too. I hope you’ll enjoy it anyways.

Word Count: 2310

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to London Heathrow Airport. Local time is 8 pm and the temperature is 10 degrees. For your safety and comfort, please remain seated with your seat belt fastened until the Captain turns off the ‘Fasten Seat Belt’ sign. This will indicate that we have parked at the gate and that it is safe for you to move about.”

It was a squash landing. The airplane rocking and bucking as it tardily slowed down and came to an abrupt halt on the landing runway. Toms’ cramped fingers slackened off, allowing the white around the knuckles to ease off until they took on normal skin colour again. On the seat next to him Luke began fumbling with his seat belt and looking around in an attempt to get up as soon as possible. The pressure on his heart faded, he felt a sudden relief of being on the ground again. It wasn’t that he was afraid of flights. It was only the height making him inwardly anxious and nervous like a five year old kid.

“Please check around your seat for any personal belongings you may have brought on board with you and please use caution when opening the overhead bins, as heavy articles may have shifted around during the flight. If you require deplaning assistance, please remain in your seat until all other passengers have deplaned. One of our crew members will then be pleased to assist you.”

Luke’s seat belt instantly snapped open when the signs went out and he sprang to his feet, eager to push past Tom who was still sitting with his hands curled into loose fists.

“On behalf of the entire crew, I’d like to thank you for joining us on this trip and we are looking forward to seeing you on board again in the near future. Have a nice night!”

“Tom, come on!”

Toms arm was grabbed and pulled wherefore he had to straighten up and follow his agent through the crowd of people. It still was beyond Tom how the other male always managed to get them through such a bunch of bodies without them either ending up hurt or killed by shortage of space.

“Come on, hurry up.”

Nobody was waiting for them. Aside from Toms’ bedroom, a cup filled with hot tea, and casual clothing in which he finally would be able to lay down again without having to worry about any dirt on the expensive suit trousers he was wearing. He strolled around absent-mindedly, not even noticing Luke who had taken hold of his upper-arm and was now guiding him down the stairs and into the waiting bus.

“You’re engrossed in thought again.” Luke placed his hand between Toms’ shoulder blades to steady him and let the man rest his head against his chest. He knew all too well that the actor wasn’t always capable of putting the stress of the flight and prior days of work away as though nothing had happened. All the more his desire to get home increased with every second that passed by. He pressed his palm flat on Toms’ lower back and led him straight to the baggage claim area where he quickly looked around for a bench.

“Look, you can sit down right over there whilst I’ll check on our luggage, alright?”

At first Toms’ mind was insistent that he was indeed well enough to stand and assist Luke with lifting down the suitcases off the baggage carousel. Then he noticed that said man had already steered him towards the bench. “I think I-“

Luke cut him off. “Not a word, Tom.”There were hands on his shoulders that pushed him downwards until he gave in and squatted. “You will stay here. I’ll come when I’ve got all our bags.”

He watched his agent as he walked back in the slowly growing crowd and scurried around hastily, every now and then coming to a hold to impatiently eye up the treadmill. The first suitcase had arrived within less than five minutes but the last one still wasn’t there yet and Luke got a bit uneasy the more time passed by. He repeatedly flashed Tom small glances, just to make sure that he was still sitting where he had left him. It wasn’t until he beheld the second bag that he had definitely reassured himself of Tom’s well-being and payed full attention to the luggage he now had to haul up. They had a schedule to keep and Tom would only have two days off to regain some strength and composure. At the mere thought of it Luke started worrying again. What about Tom’s weight that had been decreasing again and again over the past two months and the ever growing dark shadows beneath his eyes that definitely hadn’t been there before, or the small scratches on his wrists and underarms. The more he agonised about it, the more suspicious things that hadn’t caught his eye before, seemed to appear and destroy Tom’s at least somewhat healthy looks.

When he somehow had managed to carry both, the two suitcases and his own hand luggage, back to Tom who was still watching him, racked with guilt, he handed one bag over to him. Small worry lines formed on his forehead as Tom slowly dragged himself to his feet and obviously struggled to fight the dizziness, taking two small steps to the side and redressing his balance with the aid of the back of the bench.

“Hey there…Don’t rush it now.”

“M’ fine.”

“Yes, I’m sure you are.” He sounded more sarcastic than he had actually intended to. But then again he was quite determined that Tom hadn’t even realised the disbelieving undertone.

“Tomorrow is my day off, isn’t it?” His casual tone more and more shaded off into exhausted muttering while they stepped into the cool night air.

Instead of listening to Tom’s low murmuring, Luke called for a cab that would see them home, leaving Tom on a seating-accommodation nearby. The airport was merely empty, no fangirls and no paparazzi to take care of. They should be fine for now. Only the next side glance towards Tom dampened his optimism a smidgen. With his head propped on his elbows and his eyes closed Tom sat there entirely quiet. Not even moving one single body part. The unruly ginger coloured curls stuck out in a non-typical way. Luke got the stealthy overall impression that the other looked way too weak and pale. Silently he ground to a halt in front of his protégé and crouched down to look him in the eye without forcing Tom to lift his head. Dull eyes looked up to him as Tom responded to the movement he had sensed in front of him. No bright shine as it was normally the case. All that had remained of the usually so composed man was the small false smile that flickered on his lips. Out of maternal instinct Luke raised his hand and reached for Tom’s cheek to caress it lightly. It felt surprisingly cold under his fingertips and he was barely able to suppress flinching. Unlike Tom who hadn’t moved an inch or shown any other sign of recognizing the fingers put on his cheek.

“You’ve been looking ill lately.”

“That’s just the jet lag.”

“What, a jetlag for like a time period of weeks?”

“I’ve not been looking ill since weeks.”

An upset glance was thrown at Luke and he knew he should shut up but he couldn’t. He started this and there was no further opportunity to talk about this until they would leave for the next interview. So not before tomorrow, and the fact that Tom looked thoroughly ill and worn out didn’t make Luke feel any better about leaving him on his own for an entire day.

“Look, just promise me to take care, yeah? It would neither be good for you nor good for your upcoming appointments if you came down with something.”

“Yeah, I promise. I’m sorry I have bothered you.”

He couldn’t possibly be mad at someone who looked at him with eyes so big they could easily compete with plates.

“You haven’t bothered me. I’m just worried.”

He rose to his feet again and turned his back on Tom to keep an eye out for their cab that should arrive within a few minutes and take them to their flats. A hot shower would do him good, maybe even a bath after their long flight. And perhaps Tom wouldn’t look so critically ill once he had relieved a tiny bit of stress.

A small group of businesspeople crossed a pedestrian crossing in a hurry even though it was far past ten. A few taxis arrived and departed but none of them seemed to be on the lookout. The long wait made Luke feel uneasy and jittery, checking his watch more than twenty times on a whole.

“You know the dates for the day after tomorrow, don’t you?”

He was rewarded with silence. Wondering if Tom had fallen asleep, which wasn’t as unlikely considering his weariness, Luke turned around to check on the person he had to shelter. “Tom, you asleep?”

Luke furrowed his brow as he realised that the seating area was empty. No sign of Tom far and wide, as if he had vanished off the face of the earth.

Well, maybe he’s just headed for the bathroom. His attempt to assure himself failed miserably when he became aware of the fact that he would have heard Tom moving. And never ever would Tom leave without telling him where he’s going.

“Tom?”

As he averted his eyes from Tom’s hand luggage, he was greeted by his own reflection in the glass behind the bench on which the actor had just sat. He looked tired, too, but at his sole discretion much better than Tom. Who was nowhere to be seen; what definitely boded ill. Yet Luke couldn’t accept that Tom should have disappeared out of the blue. Not Tom; not when he was so damn tired that he wasn’t even able to stand upright and hold himself steady. Luke has known Tom long enough by now to be sure of the fact that it was indeed not that common for the other male to offhandedly vanish into thin air. Only in extreme cases Tom tended to show weird or different behavioural patterns that didn’t quite match his usual manner. It wasn’t an extreme case. At least that was what Luke reasoned after looking around and concluding that within a radius of not less than one mile there was no possible danger or threat. Okay, either this was a really absurd prank or Tom had gotten lost while searching for the bathroom in the airport. Luke himself did prefer the latter even if that meant that he had to go and pick Tom up.

“Mr. Windsor?”

He nearly jumped out of his skin as he heard the deep baritone and felt someone tapping him on the shoulder. As fast as possible he spun around, careful not to look too frightened or scared. He was a man, after all.

A male in his mid-forties stood in front of him, light stubble framing his otherwise clean shaved head, a striped scarf dangling casually off his neck above his neatly smoothed dark dress pants. Piercing blue eyes were fixated on Luke’s. It gave him the creeps. Remembering that he wasn’t an impolite person he cleared his throat and eased off the frightened expression on his face.

“Yes, that is me.”

“I’m your driver then. Do you have just the two suitcases?”

“Uh, yes, that’s it.” He watched silently as the taxi driver carried both suitcases to the car and packed them in the trunk of the black cab.

“Sir?” slight confusion was written all over his face. “Are you waiting for someone?”

“Actually… yes, I am. He will be here in a few minutes.”

He wasn’t so sure anymore but decided to keep that to himself. Maybe he should call Emma or someone of Toms’ friends but would that change anything? What would he even say? Hey, Emma, I lost Tom, do you have any idea what to do? Stupid. He was a manager, god dammit. He could handle the situation very well himself. It wasn’t necessary to ask anyone for help.

A nervous gaze towards his watch told him that it had been more than twenty minutes since Toms’ disappearance.

“You know what? I’ll be back within a minute.”

I just want to make sure, he’s fine, he supplemented his line of thought but didn’t speak out loud. Entering the suddenly slightly deserted airport Luke followed the information signs towards the nearest bathrooms but haltered in his very movements right before stepping in.

The lights were out.

 Why are the goddamn lights out? Airport toilets do have motion detectors. That doesn’t make any sense.

Nervously he squared his shoulders and cleared his throat noisily before he switched the flashlight of his smartphone on.

“Tom?”

Still there was no answer or reaction. Maybe he had fallen into the….. Luke pushed the thought aside. Tom had been dizzy and sleepy but not dumb. Also, the actor was a person that did everything, no matter what, with overwhelming graze.

“Tom, come on man. This is not funny. I’m trying to get you home here. You don’t wanna miss your warm bed, do you?”

By now Luke’s nerves were at breaking point. Permanently on red alert he spun round and scanned his surroundings systematically.

“Tom, I’m not really in the mood to play hide and seek with you. Come on now.”

He exhaled a subtle sigh and lowered the flashlight towards the ground, not expecting anything interesting there either. One second later a small gasp escaped his lips and his jaw dropped open. What the HELL?!

[late-nite-student-ramblings]

Reflection on my first year-  Scheduling classes.

So an old friend of mine just had orientation, scheduling their first semester of classes and that got me thinking of my own experience with scheduling classes. Just as an advance, I was assigned my degree advisor from the beginning due to declaring my major from the get-go. I’m aware that some/most universities don’t do this so I will ask around to my friends at other universities and update if I can. 

So my perspective is narrow because with my degree I have very few options for classes to take, especially in the beginning. However, I did have some variety outside of my degree-specific credits so I will do my best. 

1) Learn what you need to take. 

This is what your advisor is for. At orientation, we met with our advisors, told them what degree we wanted to pursue and the type (what you wanted to concentrate on w/ your degree). We were given a map track for the classes we’d be taking for all four years and we’d focus on just the ones for the upcoming semester. 

 Ask what classes are pre-recs for classes down the line so you can get an idea of how much wiggle room you’ll have if you eat dirt the first time around.

We had to take placement tests so you may have to take pre-rec classes if you didn’t score high enough to be where you should.

2) Start as early as possible. 

As soon as the information is available, start looking. The sooner you start the sooner you can have peace of mind that you’ve got it done. It’s also good to start early because you can detect problems early on before you even register. I was able to use 3) to layout my classes before anyone could schedule and ended up finding an overlap that would’ve affected over half of the people in my major. Was able to tell our advisor and they were able to work it out before enrollment dates started. 

3) Look at the times available. 

There are many ways to do this. My university has a scheduling system where we input the classes we need and it will generate a number of schedules based on the times. This was good for when I had a lot of choices for a few different classes. 

Another option is an online schedule maker. This works well if you're a visual person and like to see your options rather than try and juggle them in your head. You do have to manually put in the classes and times tho so would only recommend if you like entering info or are just impatient like me and don’t have a lot of different options for classes.

https://www.freecollegeschedulemaker.com/  << This is my favorite. 

4) Look at the location. 

After looking at the possibilities of your schedule pull up a university map and mark where your classes will be. I almost made the mistake of scheduling two classes 15 minutes apart with a 20-minute walk between them. Also, look for back and forth schedules, due to a limited number of choices some of my classes a go from building A to building B, back to building A, Back to building B. If they’re close together maybe it's not a problem but again you don’t want to have to speed walk to all of your classes. 

5) Look at the professor. 

Rate my professor is a thing and I’m sure there are many things similar. Depending on how many reviews said professor has that could be either good, bad, or neutral. A lot of reviews usually mean that the prof was an extream (good or bad). So noticeable that people cared enough to bring it to others attention. If you can’t find them, they’re new or maybe just mediocre, so maybe see if they’ve taught somewhere else or, do some research on other profs too, for back up. Just remember, at the end of the semester, to go back to whatever you used and leave a review for others. 

6) Live and adjust. 

Regardless of what schedule you get, you’ll have to get used to it to stay on top of things.

Do you have more time than expected for lunch? 

When can you expect to get home? 

Did you find that a certain building is really good for studying in between class times? 

Did you find out the bus goes right to your first class so you don’t have to get up as early? 

Do you now need this time for office hours?

Is a nap before your long lecture a good idea?

Noticing small things like this can really help optimize your time and experience. 

7) Evaluate it. 

If it's your first time scheduling classes like this, this is a great chance for you to see what you can handle. 

Things to keep a note of: 

How did you like waking up for your earliest class? (My earliest class was 8am so I learned quickly)

Do you work better with a big block of classes or spread out with big gaps in between? 

Certain buildings have certain qualities, learn them and keep note (mental or otherwise). Chances are you’ll be in the building again sometime. (ex. the maths building was always freezing, loud construction was common for some of the older building, this building was a good place to study from 2-4. This place had really good deli sandwiches). 

How were your study habits with this schedule? 

8) Keep talking to your advisor. 

We have to talk to our advisor every semester in order to register for classes but if you have more questions, later on, don’t be afraid to email them and ask. I ended up going two additional times due to conflicts with scheduling that I’d noticed and once for a change in concentration (still an engineer just different type). 

If you have more to share, feel free to add! Happy to clarify anything in the post or just have a chat.

All the best,

-E.

[toniskeletoni-blog]

Are You Paying Your SEOs to Fail?

I usually try to focus on sound advice and real case studies that are meant to be helpful for entrepreneurs, marketing managers and even other marketers. But today I want to share how search engine optimization (SEO) looks like failure.

I hope that some of you will see this story and avoid making the same kinds of mistakes. Such an incident starts with a reference. In particular, I was told about a company in our region that needed help to improve their visibility on Google.

When I contacted the company, they explained that they had paid $ 200 a month for ongoing SEO services, but were not sure what they got for the money (unfortunately a common complaint). Through the course of speaking with the manager and evaluating their website, I could establish a few things:

First, that the website in question had a number of structural problems that affected the search potential of the company. Second, that the SEO services for which they paid were not much more than a few monthly reports and (perhaps) keyword tweaking (stuffing). And finally, that there was potential to set up a successful lead generation campaign, but that more was needed than just a focus on SEO. I started to explain all this and asked if we could schedule a personal meeting where I could outline my recommendations in a little more depth and detail. Unfortunately the contact made me brief and informed me that he really wanted a quote for an SEO on the page and that he and the entrepreneur he worked for would not be interested in more than that.

Unfortunately, I have these kinds of interactions fairly regularly. There are many well-meaning marketers who think that the right piece of software or SEO retainer will be the magic bullet that leads to more sales at night.

Unfortunately things do not work that way in real life. In particular, there are three things I wish more entrepreneurs and marketers - not to mention other web designers - to keep in mind ...

1. Good SEO is only part of a larger strategy Contrary to what some business people think and promote SEO / Web suppliers, search engine optimization is not a viable online marketing strategy that stands on its own. Getting traffic to your website is certainly important, but only if it is the right visitors to your pages and you have a well thought-out lead generation plan to secure their interest.

Too often SEO is seen as placing repetitive, keyword-thick articles in a blog. That is so wrong - and dated - that it is sad people who still believe it works. I tell you immediately that it does not.

I hate to break the illusion, but following such an approach - even if it may be cheap and convenient - rarely leads to new opportunities or income.

SEO only works in a sustainable and profitable way if it is part of a larger strategy with well thought-out website design, social engagement (networking) and ongoing interactions to generate interest and awareness of your business.

Trying to use it without those other marketing elements is a recipe for disappointment.

2. Some small businesses do not need permanent SEO I posted this recently, so I will not go into it deeply. However, I would like to repeat that there are many local companies that do not need organic search engine optimization. Truth.

There area few reasons for this. The first and most obvious is that the majority of their search traffic will come from customers in the neighborhood. So if they can optimize their pages for location-based queries and maximize their social presence and rating, that's going to include the essential bases. Google rewards local businesses with a good reputation by subsequently showing them top local listings. Proximity defeats the measure.

Further on, many smaller companies simply do not have the time and resources to compete with their larger competitors. In very competitive markets it can cost a lot of content and involvement to climb to a result on the first page, let alone a position on the first three that is crucial for an ROI.

If a marketer can not make such a commitment (in terms of time and budget), the lesser amount they spend will certainly be wasted.

Of course, many in our industry know and understand this well. That brings us to the next problem.

# 3 There are persistent ethical deviations in the online marketing industry It is not really a secret that working on SEO and ignoring web design, social and network involvement and online reputation management is a path to failure. It is certainly known that the competition for the best search places is very competitive.

So why is it that many web design companies and social media companies make money for ongoing SEO plans that nobody expects to really work?

I think the most obvious answer has to do with the fact that search engine plans are what customers are used to asking. And many companies sell SEO for the money, although they may not really believe that this is the best course of action. This may sound harsh, but it sounds a bit like business prostitution for me.

I can understand this and realize how difficult it can be to continue to earn steady income in a competitive industry. But I would not be able to live with myself if I were to sell services I did not believe in, and I would like to recommend that few of my colleagues enjoy offering these plans.

However, nothing will change until business owners stop asking for one-time services or our web and SEO industry takes ethics to a higher level.

Do you follow a Common-Sense Lead Generation strategy? I do not tell this story because I want to suggest that every entrepreneur looks for a shortcut or that all digital marketing companies want to sell snake oil.

Impatience is a real problem in our industry and there are always suppliers who are willing to take money for ineffective services, even if they do not expect this to lead to real results. I call it tick boxes.

If you know that, my advice would be to think about whether the SEO plan you're investing in really goes to pay, or feels more designed to tick a box. And ask yourself whether the strategy you are pursuing to grow your business is based on common sense and solid communication fundamentals or not.

If you do not have good answers to these questions, I hope you give us a chance to show you a better way. Read this blog and our site for more practical tips and advice, or contact our creative team in Calgary today so that we can show you what we can do together with you.

[mollymauk-teafleak]

Dog Park AU

Okay so! For my darling @childofdustandashes because we were both far too impatient to wait until it’s valentines day for both of us so we’re making the most of our time zone madness to get even MORE VALENTINE’S DAY!

But yeah, I love you baby girl and I will write a big mushy post about you tomorrow tomorrow when I’m a little more coherent. Love you! 

Theo Burr was a very high stress person by nature. It ran in her family, if her father, with his daily hours formulaically chipping away at the ever-growing mountain of paperwork in his office that she made sure to periodically check hadn’t fallen on him and put him in desperate need of rescue, were anything to go by. And she couldn’t say it didn’t have its uses, it had gotten her through high school, through college, through law school and put her in the positon she currently was now- confidently facing the bar exam this summer with an actual hope in hell of passing and a shining career just like her father all neatly laid out for her, like a road map she just had to follow determinedly.

But it was in those very few and far between moments, where she found herself completely relaxed and free of worry, that she realised what a burden it actually was sometimes. She knew she didn’t truly want to, couldn’t really want to on some very basic and fundamental level of her mind, but Theo couldn’t help thinking longingly of her brief oases of calm, daydreaming of curling up in them and living there forever, never having to return home and pick up all the burdens she carried.

But no, that wasn’t the kind of person she was. And Theo knew what kind of person she was and she was proud of it; it had taken a lot to reach that point it and she wouldn’t give it up easily.  

Still, she smiled and sighed in satisfaction on that pleasantly chilly October morning, as she stood on the threshold of another pause, another brief moment of peace. She could always sense them coming, she knew exactly the conditions, the situation she needed to set up to make one happen and as such she could engineer them into her schedule as tightly and efficiently as she did everything else.

All she needed to do to get there was exactly what she did that morning, to the letter. Theo woke late, when the morning sun was already filtering in from under her curtains, a little thin and washed out with the oncoming winter sapping it, but all the same. She enjoyed the warmth of her thick, down comforter (Theo believed in being frugal in most parts of her life but never, ever skimped on her bedsheets), reading the paper in bed, filling in the crossword, recording the time she completed it in so she could proudly text it to her father and see if she’d managed to beat his time. She had last Sunday, for the first time since they’d started doing this when she was fourteen, and she was eager for another taste of victory with her morning coffee. The coffee was a ritual in itself, made with her extra special, uber expensive, strictly-saved-for-the-weekend beans, cream and two sugars, drank at the window seat of her small studio apartment as the news played in the background, as she surveyed the street below, never failing to get a sense of calm. Theo always felt part of something when she’d rest against the window and watch the people going past, all with their own senses of purpose and place, fuelling her own even though she couldn’t even see their faces.

Maybe that young man was going to fetch breakfast for his pregnant wife. Maybe that mother was on her way to pick up her daughter from dance class. Maybe this was that couples second date, so much potential and promise hanging in the air between them. Maybe that group of young women were old college friends and hadn’t seen each other in years but were spending a weekend in the city together. All these possibilities would make Theo smile.

Full and awake and content, she bathed and dressed, taking her sweet time in the shower, using her favourite shower gel, the one that smelled of full, rose skinned apples and pomegranate seeds heavy and pregnant with red, tart juice. She would wash her hair thoroughly, singing along to her music as she did so, even dancing a little, turning and swinging her hips for her imaginary audience, hitting high notes and belting without a care in the world. She then lounged in her towel for a while, reading magazines on her bed and performing a little more carefree choreography through her bedroom before drying her hair, massaging a little coconut oil into it. She took care with her clothes too, this being one of the few days she didn’t have to resolutely stick to her uniform of pantsuits and neat skirts and pressed blouses. She ended up with a long skirt in a bright, bold pattern, as bright and bold as she felt, her nana had brought it back from Barcelona for her. A crop top went on too, she’d be cold but fuck it, she looked too damn good not to show off a little, just for herself. Some sacrifices were worth making. Kicks, not her best ones but her old, worn favourites, hair in twin buns, bold lipstick and she was done.

Now for the hard part.

Theo strode over to the basket under the table in her kitchen, knowing that’s where he’d be, even though she had been awake for hours.

She hunkered down, grinning brightly, “What kind of guard dog are you, lazy bones?”

Titus gave a whine in response, hefting one huge, tawny paw over his eyes, like he thought that would save him from being woken up. Like he suddenly became invisible to her if he did that.

“Nice try,” Theo snorted, reaching in and ruffling his thick mane of fur, “Up, up, up! Time for walks!”

That magic word had him. He made his resentment clear through huffs and whimpers but he eased himself out of his basket all the same, tail managing to wag for her, eyes managing to brighten as he hopped up, forepaws on her knee, for his good morning hug.

Titus had originally been intended as a guard dog, a house warming present from her father, given with the express promise that he would keep a young lady living in downtown New York all on her lonesome the protection and security she desperately needed. It ended up being a bit of a running joke in their family. Titus was big, there was no denying that, he was actually bigger than most other German Shepherds, but he also happened to be the world’s biggest wuss, preferring to use his huge bulk to hug rather than for any safekeeping purpose. He jumped when leaves blew past him on the sidewalk and taxis honked as they passed by. He hid behind Theo’s legs if a cat happened to appear, bolting from an alleyway as they walked past. He would whine and fuss mercilessly if his lady happened to leave his sight for more than five seconds, even if she’d just ducked into a store for an ice cream which she would, of course, give him the cone from. All in all, he didn’t really fulfil the role Aaron had had in mind when he gave him to his daughter.

But Theo adored him all the same. And he adored her right back.

She hummed brightly to herself as she tied his usual red bandana around his neck and slipped him into the harness she’d got for him back when he was still a puppy and way too small to fit in it (“He needs to feel big like the other dogs, dad!”). She put on her headphones, show tunes turned up, and together, both full of optimism and fortitude that only comes with a good morning well spent, they set out for Central Park.

 Theo had a smile on her face a mile wide as she bounced on her heels along the path, head swaying in time with the music in her ears, making her buns waggle with perfect timing. Titus ploughed on ahead of her, as if clearing the path and making sure no threats lay ahead of his mistress for him to jump at and get scared by and need cuddles. A blanket of leaves that looked as if they’d been moulded and shaped from copper itself littered the path ahead of them, rustling under four paws and two sneakers as if in quiet conversation. Squirrels skittered from branch to branch just over their heads, ink drop eyes glittering curiously, and birds broke the constant clear blue of the sky with their arrowhead silhouettes, probably flying off to somewhere much warmer than New York city in the middle of autumn. The season didn’t come without its gifts, though; there were bright lavender and yellow bursts of crocuses along the path. Theo saw them and gave a slightly melancholy smile. They made her think of her mother, having been her favourite flowers, but it was a good memory. Not a twist of a knife, just a dull ache from doing work she was happy to do. She made a mental note to buy some from a florist, half to go on her mama’s grave and the rest to fill a glass vase on her kitchen table. Knowing they would see the same colours, smell the same delicate scents, brought Theo comfort, as if her mama had bought the flowers for her rather than the other way around. It was kind of a hangover from something her father had told her when she was younger, just after she’d died. He’d told her that Mama sent the crocuses up in Central Park just for Theo, so she’d know she wasn’t really gone and was always watching over her baby girl. At twelve, Theo had been a little too old to believe that story even then, but she appreciated the effort and would always associate those proud, regal blooms, like tiny paper crowns made by a careful, loving, attentive hand, with her mama.

Titus took her a little off the main track through the park, he liked the thickets best, they came with the opportunity to stick his long snout into a bush or too and find some interesting smells or a nice smooth stone he could present to his mistress as a gift. Theo whistled pleasantly to herself as some good old fashioned soul music kicked in through her headphones, gearing herself up to get lost in Aretha Franklin’s feather-boa-rattling voice.

That was what distracted her.

She didn’t even hear Titus’ yelp as the blur of black and white and grey barrelled into him and knocked him off his paws completely, sending him sprawling in the dirt at the side of the path. Which, of course, as Theo was holding the end of his leash, she got to go sprawling right along with him.

“What the-?” she managed to exclaim just before the surprise of no longer being vertical and suddenly rolling (thankfully harmlessly and painlessly) onto damp and unpleasant grass took her breath away.

It dislodged her earbuds too so she managed to hear her Titus whining and wailing in distress, as well as a new, much more fierce, much more energetic yapping that belonged to the black and white and grey blur, still a blur as whatever it was when it wasn’t going five hundred miles an hour zig zagged this way and that over the poor, downed Titus.

“Hey! Get off him!” Theo demanded, not able to do anything more than make her threat before her lap was taken up with nearly 88 pounds of dog as Titus hid in her arms.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry!” another new sound cut over the pandemonium, “Othello’s only little, he’s not got the hang of making friends yet. Othello, down boy!”

A lot of thoughts were running through Theo’s mind at that point, very quickly, but the one that got to her mouth was this.

“What kind of name is Othello?”

“Huh?” the owner of the voice, a nearly impossibly tall young man, about her age and with face covered in more freckles than Theo thought could exist on a human person, blinked in confusion.

“Uh, sorry,” Theo felt her face flush, she hadn’t wanted to sound so incredulous. Though, really, she had every right to be, seeing as she was sat in the mud thanks to this guy.

The man caught the blur in both arms, hauling it up and suddenly, it manifested as a very small, very hairy dog, panting, scrabbling his paws in the air and looking very disgruntled at having his game interrupted.

“I really am sorry about that,” the guy said again, looking embarrassed as he held out one hand to help Theo up, “He slipped his collar and got away from me back there, I had to chase him through the whole park…”

“I’m not surprised,” Theo said breathlessly, accepting the offer of help after she managed to convince Titus to get off, “I’m not sure they even make dog collars that small…”

Fortunately, he laughed at that, “Yeah, he’s kind of a runt. Fast though. Big personality.”

“Yeah,” Theo brushed down her skirt, “Yeah, I got a taste of that personality…”

The kid flushed red, biting his lip guiltily, “I am sorry. You’re not hurt, are you?”

“Nah,” Theo shook her head, recentering her braids, “Titus might have some emotional damage, though.”

He winced and addressed the cowering German Shepherd behind her legs, “Sorry, buddy. He doesn’t mean any harm, I swear, he’s just got a lot of energy.”

That much was obvious, Othello- if that really was the thing’s name- was squirming and wriggling so furiously in the guy’s arms, Theo was genuinely impressed he was holding on so effortlessly.

“He’s not that dented up, really,” Theo said quickly, not wanting to come off like she was criticising, “He’s just a wuss. A big old furry wuss.”

Titus whined, as if in indignance, though he soured his argument a little by diving back behind Theo’s legs when Othello gave a growl.

“Behave!” he snapped, patting his dog’s head, “Stop being a meanie!”

“Maybe he’s mad cos some doofus named him Othello,” Theo muttered, a little louder than she’d intended. She cursed herself, god damn her big mouth…

But the guy only laughed again, a nice sound, one he clearly used often.

“I’m a literary nerd, what can I say?” he grinned hugely, “I’m hoping he grows into it.”

Theo blushed a little, smiling back, “Did you just get him?”

“Is it that obvious?” he chuckled, “Yeah, I got him from the pound the other week, we’re still, ah…establishing who’s the alpha in the situation…”

“Well…best of luck with it,” Theo smiled, wanting to leave this particular exchange before she embarrassed herself any further, or before Othello escaped his owner’s arms and Titus had a heart attack.

“Hey, um, do you…do you have somewhere to be?” the guy blinked, “I mean, the least I owe you after that mess is a coffee?”

“A…oh…” Theo’s blush was back with a vengeance.

“If that’s okay, I mean?” he smiled, that same hundred kilowatts smile that outshone even this harsh, autumn sun, “Although, god, what am I even doing, I haven’t even asked your name…”

“Theo Burr,” she interrupted him gently, “And a coffee sounds great.”

“Theo,” he repeated, eyes brightening, finally letting Othello slip from his arms, letting him land in a heap at his feet where he thankfully stayed.

“I’m Philip Hamilton.”

[mittensmcedgelord]

Phantoms

LST didn't help me with a title this time.

Yet more of the mimic story wherein Morgan discovers a recording of a Fatal Fortress game, learns something new about his former self, and makes plans to avoid a doctor's visit. ( And where I attempt to lighten the mood after the last update. )

Previous: https://mittensmcedgelord.tumblr.com/post/161916575340/the-human-condition

I feel like I know them. If I shut my eyes, I can hear their thoughts pulse through the coral, the subtle vibrations of memory ghosts. I’ve spent the whole day listening to a backlog of employee recordings from Talos 1 that were ejected when the apex Typhon attacked. Alex held onto them in the hope that maybe, eventually, we’d find their surviving family. I’m sure it wasn’t purely altruistic. There are plenty of logs that are scientific, bits and pieces of Bellamy’s work or employees showing off their new neuromod skills. There are more that aren’t. I told him I wanted to study people, try to understand how they work. It took a lot of convincing and some shameless playing of the ‘little brother’ card, but I got access to the files.

 The memories I have don’t go back far enough to remember the boltcaster fights or the Fatal Fortress games. Not that I think either Yu was ever invited to join in. It sounds like it was a different world back then. The crew is still relatively optimistic. There are still dart gun fights. There’s a different color to it now, though. There’s no Yellow Tulip, for one. Which means that there’s a distinct lack of drunken karaoke and that I will never get to hear Sho sing off key love songs outside of TranScribe recordings. And after the invasion I don’t think anyone is in the mood for drunken karaoke anyway. Now that they’ve encountered Typhon, humans are becoming a little more like them in order to continue. The priority is survival, at all costs, and everything else is frills.

 So, it’s a pleasant surprise when I come across a second recording of Sho singing, this time completely sober. It’s the song she performed during the big show to promote musical neuromods. There’s a few other voices laughing and applauding. Someone wants to know where she even got a banana to use as a microphone. Someone else is teasing her for taking the ‘role play’ aspect of the game too seriously.

“I didn’t realize you dual classed as a bard,” the DM quips. I recognize the voice as Abigail Foy’s from the simulation. “Alright, you get 10XP for that performance. And…”

 I hear shuffling and more laughter. Sho groans. There’s clapping all around the table again before the DM clears her throat and continues triumphantly.

 “You also earn ten gold from the audience.”

 “Hey,” a male voice interrupts. He’s doing his best to sound offended, but it’s obvious he’s not. Something slides across the table. “When I performed I only got silver coins. And I’m an actual bard.”

 “Yes, but she actually sang,” Foy says matter-of-factly and taps something on the tabletop.

 “So did I.”

 “Poorly. Besides, we all know it’s because Abby thinks our new player is cute.” Someone laughs. High pitched. Female. A hint of an accent I don’t quite recognize.

 “I’m cute,” he protests. I have to put a hand over my mouth so I don’t laugh louder than the recording. The other players are enjoying it too. He must have done something because a sharp peal of laughter comes through the speaker.

 “Really, Chang? You���re trying to get Foy to say you’re cute?”

 “And you’re only filling in for Elias for tonight.” The second male voice scoffs. “What do you really XP and gold for?”

 “It’s the principle.”

 “Oh my god,” Sho laughs. “Can someone please just tell Chang he’s cute so we can get on with it? Zack? Emma?”

 “Don’t look at me,” the second male voice says. “Besides, I thought he were busy swooning over Dr. Yu? Or is it just a coincidence that your password is ‘OMGhotboss’?”

 “How did you even know that?”

 “It’s on a post-it note on your desk. It’s more of a surprise that anyone on the station doesn’t know it.”

 I wonder if Morgan ever noticed it. I remember in the sim I saw it almost immediately. He wasn’t exactly trying to hide it. Morgan must have walked past his work station every day and caught a glimpse of it. The ‘devastatingly handsome’ line on his psychoscope profile makes a lot more sense now. Jason Chang was dead by the time the simulation started, though. There weren’t a lot of recordings, either. He had unrestricted access to the office during the testing, which seems like a lot of power for a secretary. Given the office I remember was mostly filled with useless junk, a few books, and a stash of moonshine there probably wasn’t too much to worry about. Another player—Emma, I’m assuming—interrupts my train of thought.

 “Does this have to do with that time at the Yellow Tulip?”

 “You mean the New Year’s party?” Sho sounds smug as she asks. She knows the answer, but clearly wants to hear it from Chang.

 And this is when the audio runs out. I might have yelled ‘damn it’ when the playback stopped, but now at least I know which files to search through for the other game logs. I am, however, left with a significant amount of unanswered questions. Particularly about the New Year’s party in question.

 “How’s it going, Morgan?” Alex’s voice cuts in over the TranScribe. Responding to higher levels of brain activity, maybe. I’m sure whoever monitors my data feed has been getting some interesting response levels.

 “Great.” I’m a little too enthusiastic in responding. I also just found the next log for this session courtesy of Emma Beatty’s ‘IMPORTANT MEETING NOTES’ file.

 “That’s great.” He sounds genuinely happy about that. Considering what a mess my first few days interacting with the crew have been like, I can’t blame him. I hear footsteps on the other end of the line briefly before Alex comes back in. “I’m glad the files are useful. Learning anything interesting?”

 “A little. Wish there was more data on some of the employees. Emma. Zachary. Jason. The latter particularly.”

 “Jason Chang?” He snorts. It’s almost a laugh. “You were drinking buddies. Or something like that. He’s probably why your entire stash of moonshine was missing when you finally made it to your office.”

 I make an executive decision not to mention the “hot boss” thing. Or the party. Alex sounds like he’s impatient to get to the topic he actually called about. I load up the next recording and let it buffer while I wait. He gives me a few seconds to type before continuing ahead.

 “You think you’ll be ready to go face the world again soon?”

 “Yeah. Definitely.”

 “Doctor Igwe told me you were having some trouble with your mimetics the other day.”

 “I wasn’t feeling great. Some people cry, I turn into wispy black sentient smoke. Kind of a weird trade off.”

 “Morgan, try to be serious.” When he says that, I can actually hear him taking his glasses off and pinching his nose. The first Morgan must have been a real joy to work with if that’s such an innate reaction in him. “If you think that’s going to happen again, I need you to be honest with me. We’ve never monitored extreme emotions in Typhon before. It could be a natural reaction to stressful stimuli.”

 “It might. I’m still getting the hang of things.” I’m aware of what a vast understatement this is, but I want Alex to have some faith in me. His optimism about the project is contagious. I’d rather not lose that. I take a breath, hold it for a second, and let it out. My thoughts clear. “If it happens again and I start to change, what do I do? Head back up here?”

 “Or the Typhon Research Lab if you can’t get to the grav shaft. Dr. Park knows about your situation. She’ll help.” He pauses. Something clinks against glass. “She actually wanted to schedule an appointment with you for a physical exam, but it didn’t seem like a good idea right now.”

 “What kind of physical?”

 “DNA stability, mostly. See if the dosage of psi hypos you’re getting is right or if you need any more cell lines to balance things out.” Another pause. I wish I could hear thoughts over TranScribe, but no such luck. Alex makes a small humming noise. “This isn’t about what happened the other day, if that’s what you’re thinking. It’s all routine. Well, it’s going to be a routine. We’ve all got a lot of adjusting to do, but I think once we start getting things back to something like normal it’ll start going a lot smoother.”

 “Yeah.” Now I’m a little glad you can’t project thoughts through a TranScribe. I’m pretty sure fear of doctor’s visits isn’t something I’m supposed to have.  The name Bellamy comes to mind, a swirl of respect and regret, and I remember that I saw his corpse in the sim. I tune out just long enough to get my mind in order and come back to myself to catch the end of Alex’s explanation of the examination procedure.

 “I’ll make arrangements with Dr. Park when you’re feeling up for it,” he finishes. I get the feeling that’s going to be never. The way my body works is as alien to me as it is to anyone else on the station and I’m not sure I want to know the result of a physical, let alone take one. I start to tell Alex that, but think better of it. Silence hangs on the other end of the line producing the kind of gravity specific to situations you don’t want to be in. Glass clicks against one of those gaudy, TranStar coasters. Alex sighs. “Morgan, listen. I know it’s been rough, but you’re doing great. I want you to know that.”

[p3ac3l0v3mus1c]

“How many times are you going to put yourself through this?” “I knew someone that went through years of treatments and when they stopped trying it finally happened.” “When is enough enough?” “Why spend so much money to have a kid when you can adopt one?” “We care more about you and your health than a baby.” “God has a plan.” “You just have to stay positive.” “It will happen when it happens.” “At least you have your health. There are worse things in life.” They say that infertility is common, that so many women go through this process just like me, so you’d think that the sensitivity in people’s comments would have adjusted accordingly. I cannot be the only woman tired of hearing these comments constantly. We see mantras and inspirational quotes all the time about never giving up on something you want, but women are told daily by friends and family to give up on their dreams of having a baby. We are told daily not to compare apples to oranges, and yet we are told to trust someone blindly because someone they knew once had a different experience. It’s crazy to me how many people think they know any better than a doctor which has studied this field for years. Adoption. How is that always everyone’s answer for everything? I’m not at all saying that it’s not a good option, but it isn’t for everyone. They’ve made adoption so expensive and tedious to accomplish, sometimes it is just as expensive, if not more so than these treatments to have our own child. But not only that, look at all these people offering up adoption as they post selfies with their babies, and they ooh and awe over how much their child looks like them and acts like them. Does it make women that experience infertility so horrible for wanting that? What, because we can’t have our own how dare we do not jump at raising a child that may grow up to long more for their biological parent than us? Isn’t that terrifying? What about the horror stories we hear about parents who are set to adopt and fall in love with this child, but another biological family member comes to claim the child? And can I say I am so sick of people telling me they worry more about my health than a baby? Seriously, do you think a doctor would allow me to keep going if they felt my health was in danger? If I stop now, my mental health would be so far into shambles; it may be better that I keep trying because at least then I know I haven’t given up. This journey sucks, and anyone going through the process will obviously have good days and bad days. We will have days when we want to scream and cry, and there will be days that we are positive and anxious. It’s silly to think anytime there is a bad day we should be told to quit or worse, “you can’t be negative.” That is unrealistic. Everyone has a bad day, and if you don’t allow us those emotions, we will explode. I know firsthand that if you don’t let yourself cry sometimes, you’ll find yourself screaming in the kitchen over two tablespoons of parsley.

So that’s my rant, let’s go back and start this story from the beginning. It’s June 2016, I am 25 years old, been married about eight months and I’m laying in a hospital bed being told I am having yet another miscarriage. At this point in my life, I am young, thinish and relatively healthy but yet here I am looking at my sixth miscarriage. The nurse in the emergency room tells me there is no reason someone my age should be having this much trouble getting pregnant and tells me to reach out to my OB/GYN. So I schedule an appointment to get everything checked out. My husband and I go to the doctor, later that month, and get all kinds of tests done. He has to fill a cup, and I have to give a bunch of blood and have a pelvic exam. Once it’s all said and done, I am basically told I am too fat to carry a child because of my family’s history with diabetes but no worries, my husband is “as fertile as they come.” So I think to myself, “no big deal! I can lose weight, that’s easy enough.” So I do, in just five months I drop nearly 60 pounds (mainly by cutting out the multiple liters of mountain dew I was drinking daily). I feel great, and I am totally confident that we will have a baby now because that was my only issue…or so we thought. So we go back to the doctor, and she’s impressed by how much weight I have dropped. She wants to start me on some hormones, and a timed intercourse schedule to ensure we get the results we are hoping for. Spoiler alert, the medications she put me on cause weight gain, and I put on a ton of weight pretty quickly. So now I am eating right, and working out constantly but these medications just continue to cause me to “balloon up” as someone so eloquently pointed out to me and naturally this is causing me a lot of stress. But we proceed forward with the medications, and we get pregnant! Yes, we went in for our first beta test to check our HCG levels and were told we were pregnant! But the fun part about HCG levels?

The doctor wants to see them double every 48 hours, so two days later we go back, and sure enough, they had plummeted. Now all of a sudden they’re telling us we are going to miscarry again. We go through the whole process multiple times over a year with the same result every time. It starts putting a serious strain on our marriage, and my mental health. Naturally, everyone at this point is telling us it isn’t worth trying anymore but giving up was not an option for us. So I started doing some serious research, and come to find the treatment we’ve tried over and over again is not recommended more than two to three times at most. Angered by this information, I needed a second opinion, and I began researching fertility clinics in the area.

It’s now August of 2017, and I’ve stumbled across Spring Creek Fertility. On their website, it had mentioned a doctor referral, but I was dead set on seeing them, so I sent them an email explaining the last couple of years and requesting an appointment. They agreed to see me, and we set up my first appointment. I was filled with hope once more. After my first appointment, we ran all kinds of tests to see what was going on. Here starts the laundry list of problems, none of which was my weight. We were told I had a deficiency in all kinds of important vitamins and methyl folate. Easy enough, take a few different vitamins and swap out some of the failed hormones for different prescriptions, we were filled with excitement and all but planned for a baby because surely with all of these adjustments we were going to have our baby finally. December of 2017 we started our first intrauterine insemination (IUI) cycle. With this cycle we were instructed to take a shot of ovidril in my stomach, it was the first time we had to do our own injection with the fertility treatments.

I was so nervous, but I remember thinking the shot would make it a sure thing so I took a picture of the shot beforehand and sent it to my closest friends with the caption, “finally the medication that will change my life.” Boy was I naïve. Just days before Christmas we went in for our first beta test. I took the whole day off of work so I wouldn’t miss the phone call with results. I took the day to pamper myself and relax. I was filled with joy! I had taken multiple pregnancy tests at home that showed a positive result, and I was just waiting for them to call and say “you’re pregnant!” I waited all day impatiently, checking my phone every few minutes and finally they called and said my numbers indicated there may have been a pregnancy, but there isn’t one now. They apologized like everyone does when they’ve just given you bad news. “I’m so sorry, do you have any questions? Okay, so sorry.” I was devastated. I couldn’t understand how it was so hard for me to get pregnant and stay pregnant. I thought the doctor said all I needed was some vitamins and a little push. What the hell?

We decided to take a break from all of the worrying and ovulation tracking; maybe time was all we needed. So from for the first seven months of 2018, we took a break. We went to parties, concerts, festivals, the ocean; you name it. We just needed to take a break from devastation, but by May I was itching to try again. I felt like we were running out of time because I wasn’t getting any younger and my health wasn’t getting any better.  I called Spring Creek and asked what our next steps would be. They suggested in vitro fertilization (IVF) as our next steps. After some research, this seemed to have the highest success rate and be the most expensive option. I called our insurance to get all the information, and we began saving and looking at loan options. Come July we had a few thousand dollars’ worth of meds and a page long schedule of appointments. But like before, our hope was restored, and we were confident that this would be it. I found an IVF support group on Facebook and read so many success stories of first time IVF patients. SURELY THIS ONE WAS IT. We followed every guideline to a T. Like clockwork every day we’d drop everything to take shots and monitor or levels closely to make sure we got everything right. I had to drive down to Dayton three times a week for nearly a month, but it would all be worth it when I finally held my baby. Every ultrasound and blood work came back great; we were filled with optimism.

We had our egg retrieval; they retrieved 20 eggs! Later that evening the doctor called and said 12 of the 20 eggs fertilized, and while we felt a little uneasy about losing eight eggs, we figured 12 was still great. Five days later, the doctor called and said that only three of the 12 eggs fertilized made it to blastocyst. Essentially this means of the 20 eggs they retrieved, only three of them became usable embryos. Naturally, I was terrified by this news. Out of 20 eggs, only three of them made viable embryos? Would the three that survived even be good? We did everything right, and only three made it. But, everyone in the world reminded me, “it only takes one.”

Here comes August of 2018. Transfer month. Now starts more meds, more injections, more appointments, definitely more stress. But wait! You can’t stress, how dare you stress? Don’t you know stress won’t help anything? Sure I do. But tell me how anyone in the history of the world does not feel any amount of stress while spending their life savings on a medical treatment which makes their hormones go haywire, makes them feel sick and tired, and only have a success rate of like 40%? So, “don’t stress,” is a nice sentiment but it helps no one. If anything it just pissed me off and added to my stress. Google is a bitch, by the way. For the love of God, stay off of Google by any means necessary, it will do nothing but intensify the stress and anxiety of this whole process. But ‪August 29th‬ finally came, and we headed to Spring Creek to transfer our embryo. Dr. Groll told us everything looked perfect and went perfectly and it was perfect. We were so thrilled. We were officially pregnant until proven otherwise (PUPO).  Every day after that point every little twinge, and tingle must’ve been a symptom, or so they devil google lead us to believe. I became obsessed with peeing on home pregnancy tests starting just five days out. They were positive, so bring on the joy and excitement. You would think, after the bout with the IUI home tests that I would’ve learned, but again let’s revisit the explanation of stress and hormones.

September 10th, 2018: beta day. I took the whole day off of work, I knew from last time that I would not be able to focus on anything but my phone. I drove to Dayton to get my blood draw, and then off to Columbus I went. I stopped to visit my mom’s grave (because doesn’t all of this journey sound like so much fun without a girl’s mom?) and went to lunch with a friend. The entire time I stared at my phone. Every time it rang, I jumped. I was hoping that they’d call while I was with my friend because somehow my excitement turned to worry and I had a feeling it wouldn’t be a good phone call. But hours went by, they didn’t call, and I needed to head home. I made it about a half hour away from the support of a friend, and my phone rang. My levels were not good. It was happening again. What in the actual eff? I cried the entire way home and cried even harder when I got home. Why wasn’t anything working?! At this point, people and “friends” were literally telling me that I “signed up for anguish.” I did not sign up for anguish. I was already anguished; I signed up for hope and faith and a miracle. Why was that so hard for my “people” to support?

A week later, I went in to see Dr. Groll, and he explained what he felt went wrong. He made some adjustments to our treatments and pretty optimistically said let’s move forward for October. I felt like it was really fast, but if the doctor who I had found through research to be one of the top-ranked doctors in the country thought we should move forward then who the hell was I to question him? So we prepared to start over in October. Now, to backpedal a little bit, I mentioned earlier that I had joined a support group on Facebook. Through this group of 70,000 plus members worldwide, I found a girl going through the same part of this process AT THE SAME CLINIC and she and I were scheduled for the same day in October. This was a massive weight off of our shoulders. It was a wonderful experience to feel like I had a partner in all of this, someone who knew exactly what kind of crazy was going on in my head, stomach, and ovaries. This cycle was so much easier, every time I felt unsure or negative, I messaged her and vice versa.

October 23rd, 2018 rolled around, and I woke up so excited to meet my fertility buddy. I wasn’t even nervous about the transfer anymore. I felt like it was a good thing. Maybe staying out of my head would help. When Sean and I got to the clinic, she was there all looped up on the Xanax the clinic had prescribed us each to take. Hugs were given, pictures were taken, and stories were exchanged. Almost forgot we were there to transfer another embryo. Sean and I were called back to a room, vitals were taken, and yet again, everything went perfect. The embryologist had us laughing as we saw a “spirited” embryo dance around prior to the transfer and we left the clinic feeling overwhelmed with love, both from finally meeting our fertility partners and seeing a good looking embryo. Let the two-week wait begin. This time I made it till 8 days past the transfer before I caved and peed on a damn home pregnancy test. What was wrong with me? Again, all of my tests were positive, and I was filled with impatience and joy for my upcoming beta test.  The morning of the beta test, I drove to Dayton and waited outside the clinic for them to open. I was the first one there. I was so excited because this one would somehow be different. My partner showed up, nearly in tears. She was positive she was going to start her period, and this would be it for her. Her doubts weighed heavy on me. For her, this was her last shot. She was ten years older than me, and this was her last embryo. I ended up more concerned for her beta result than mine, and I think that actually helped me. The clinic called and I could hear the nurse smiling through the phone. “You’re pregnant! You’re definitely pregnant!” I was floored. This one took, and I knew it would. I waited and waited for my partner to message me her results, I didn’t want to exclaim my good news until I knew she was okay. Finally, I asked her, and wouldn’t you know it; she was pregnant too! It was a miracle.

That night, Sean and I actually went out to celebrate our wedding anniversary, and we were on cloud nine. I remember making sure to order a virgin daiquiri because would you look at me, I am pregnant! A few days later we both went back for another beta, and my partner messaged me that her numbers were fantastic; she was still pregnant. Clearly, we were in this together, so I danced around with excitement while waiting for my good call, but it never came. The clinic called, and the nurse started the call with, “it’s not good news. I’m so sorry.” What the hell? Why? What do I have to do? Let the tears ensue. We are now down to one. One left. “It only takes one.”

A couple weeks later I go yet again to see Dr. Groll. He again suggests we roll right into the next transfer. I don’t know. At this point, my family and three of my closest friends have repetitively told me to stop trying. “Don’t waste your last embryo.” “How many times are you going to put yourself through this?” “ why don’t you focus on the family you have and getting your weight under control?” No one believed that I could have a baby. The people I sought as my greatest support system had lost all faith in this journey. I sat at home and cried most nights, went through a lot of beer. Several nights I drank till I blacked out, and one day I went to the hospital and told the nurse that I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought of harming myself. I felt alone and defeated. But we had one stinking embryo left.

December 17th, 2018: transfer day. We went in for an operation and secretly transferred the last embryo while we were there. The most significant difference, I had lost all faith in this process. I literally felt no excitement at all because in my head I had convinced myself that everyone else was right and I just wasted my last embryo. But I followed all the rules, and I waited to test and on December 26th, 2018, the day before beta, I took the day off of work to lay at home and have a total meltdown. I at this point told some of my friends that I had transferred my last embryo and I sobbed as I told them that it was all for nothing because this one did not work. Damn hormones, I was literally hyperventilating with fluids flowing from all orifices on my face because I was so sure we spent our savings and time and hopes on a pointless journey. The next morning I drove to Dayton for my blood draw. I waited for my call, fully expecting the bad call. The clinic called and the nurse sounded very neutral. This was unusual. “Marya, your HCG was a 10.10. We consider anything over a 10 a pregnancy, so you are pregnant, but we are going to stay cautiously optimistic.” Cautiously optimistic. What in the hell does that even mean? How do you tell someone to stay optimistic but cautious when it comes to whether or not they’re going to be a parent? I told my husband that we were pregnant, but I wasn't holding my breath, but to my surprise, he was so sure this one was it. He is never sure; he is always on the defense! Maybe it felt different for him? Four days later I drive back to Dayton, and we do more blood work.  It was New Years Eve so I was busy as can be. I came home and started doing housework, successfully keeping my mind off of things. At this point some of my friends and my fertility partner is messaging me asking about my numbers, noticing how late it was I called the clinic. Did I miss the call? I got their “after hours” voicemail. I lost it. How could they close without calling me? So now I am pacing back and forth through my living room, calling the clinic over and over. Finally, they call, turns out they had closed, so they shut their phones off, but they were still calling patients with their numbers. “I’m so sorry sweetie; your number went down.” SHIT! I knew it. “Your number was 18.8.” Wait…I asked what the number was again; she said 18.8 and I explained to her that my number four days ago was 10.10. I heard papers shuffle in the background, “you’re right, but in four days it should’ve at least doubled. It doesn’t look good sweetie, but we will stay cautiously optimistic and continue meds.” Freaking cautiously optimistic. At this point I am irritated. I am bummed out by my numbers, and I decide to turn to that support group for stories of hope. I posted that I was worried about my numbers being so low and that my doctor told me to be cautiously optimistic and asked if anyone else had a similar story which ended successfully. The responses were horrifying. Multiple women commented that there was no way this would be a viable pregnancy. They told me it was a chemical and they were shocked my doctor had me continue meds. I was in tears. Sean yelled at me to get off of the group, told me what good is a support group that shoots down any desperation of hope. At this point, I am waking up every morning and peeing on a home pregnancy test. The goal is to see the test line darken every day.

So each morning I would pee in a cup, and dip my test strip and then wait for it to dry so I could tape it to my test page and compare. Every day it looked a little darker. Sean continued to proclaim his confidence in this cycle. January 2nd, 2019 I went in for more blood work. They called, my number was 31 even. It nearly doubled, and can you guess what they said? Cautiously optimistic. I was so annoyed; my number almost doubled in 48 hours! Why did we still need to be cautious? Why couldn’t they just tell me it would all be okay? But we continued on, peeing daily on the strips and praying it kept rising. January 7th, 2019, I went in for more blood work.  The clinic called and told me my number was 136. Surely a job that great means we are safe, but they said they really wanted to watch us closely and you guessed it, stay cautiously optimistic.  So we wait four more days and do more blood work, all thee meanwhile peeing on the strips and seeing that line just get darker and darker. At this point, even I am positive it will all be okay. The lines are dark as dark can be, and my number has been steadily rising. Sure enough the clinic calls and my number is 282.4 and we are ready for our first ultrasound. Now at this point, my number is low but the doctor is thinking it was just late to implant because my number lines up with about a week behind where I should be. Sean is already proclaiming that it is a boy because “he is a grower and not a show-er.” Hope is restored. We are so happy and excited to see the baby, we are literally just counting down the days at this point. I couldn’t wait to hear the heartbeat. We’ve come so far, at this point we are nearly 8 weeks pregnant. I had started seeing a bunch of ads on Facebook for a heartbeat monitor, you know because they tailor those ads to whatever you’ve been doing online and I’ve already told you that Google is the devil and I apparently have no self-control. So one of my pregnant friends and I get to talking about those apps and how they couldn’t possibly work but she tells me that her doctor recommended an app that actually does work but usually not ‪until 9-10‬ weeks. No will power remember, so I download the app and I am messing around not expecting to hear anything. I’m just sitting in my living room with my phone against my belly, listening to a whole bunch of static scream through the speakers and all of a sudden I hear a fast galloping sound. I stop moving my phone and look in surprise, the phone is registering a heartbeat. I am losing it. Now the 16th couldn’t come fast enough.

What seems like an eternity later, it’s finally the morning of our ultrasound. Sean took the day off because he did not want to miss this. We were 100% convinced we had already heard the heartbeat so we weren’t even nervous, just anxious to see our little bean. So Julie, the nurse practitioner, comes in and starts the scan. We sit silently as she looks all over the uterus with a look of concern growing on her face. I look at Sean, he is just staring at the screen intensely with a blank expression on his face. I can feel my heart beating out of my chest and I try to swallow what feels like a bowling ball. Julie stops the scan and says she needs to go grab Dr. Groll from an egg retrieval he was doing to have a look. As she walks out of the room, I look at Sean. He just sits silently and motionless. I am fighting back tears, because everything is going to be okay, maybe it’s just too early to see anything. Dr. Groll comes in and starts the ultrasound, he scans the uterus slowly. The silence in the room is deafening. After a forever long silence, Dr. Groll says, “it looks like we have the gestational sac here in the middle of the lining. I think that is the fetal pole there, but it’s kind of hard to see because we have some fluid around it. It’s measuring really small, but it might just be a little late to implant. Let’s just get another HCG and stay cautiously optimistic. We will do another ultrasound ‪next Monday‬ but we will really need to see some growth by then and we should ideally see a heartbeat by then.” Cautiously. Freaking. Optimistic. I am so sick of that phrase. Cautiously optimistic sounds like don’t get your hopes up but we know you’re going to. Later that day they call me and my HCG is 694. Still going up, what the heck baby? Why are you scaring me like this? I felt like I had no control over anything. I pretended I was not scared, because Sean didn’t look scared. Everything is fine, we are still cautiously optimistic so I am not frightened or worried. And yet, while making dinner I ripped Sean’s head off about not having two tablespoons of parsley. Parsley, a spice that mainly adds color, and I ended up sobbing for an hour over two stinking tablespoons.

Four days later, I decided to go do something for myself and get my nails done. The day before we had a blizzard, so first I must spend 40 minutes wiping my car off. Once my car is wiped off, my back is a little sore but I ignore it and get into my car to leave. My car won’t budge. So I get out and grab a shovel, I flip the shovel over and use it to kind of kick some snow off the back tires. I am not dumb enough to actually try and shovel. As I am kicking away this snow, a sharp pain starts in my left side and follows up my back. I try to stand up straight, maybe I moved funny. The pain gets worse. At this point I am now in tears and reaching for my phone to call Sean. There is no way I am making it inside. I am currently laying down in tears, hyperventilating because the pain is intense and I am confident this can’t be good for this pregnancy.  My husband tries to get me to the emergency room, but our cars are still stuck. He calls an ambulance, and now the panic is real. I have EMTs trying to give me pain meds, I’m yelling that I am an IVF patient and I don’t want meds. They keep asking how pregnant I am and I am explaining the situation, but they won’t really listen. After hours in the ER, they’ve taken urine and performed an ultrasound. The doctor comes in to tell me that I must be miscarrying because my HCG has gone down to 1039. I told her my HCG was previously only 694 so 1039 would be going up, but she says well we didn’t see anything at all on the ultrasound so you’ll need to follow up with your fertility doctor to check for an ectopic pregnancy. We were pissed. First of all, what about my back? I still couldn’t move on my own, and really if you’re concerned about an ectopic you don’t just send me home.

The next day we saw Dr. Kantitis, Dr. Groll’s partner, he wanted to do an ultrasound and check on the growth of the baby. Within seconds he found the gestational sac, and it looked bigger. He said it was still small but it definitely looked bigger. We felt relieved. We didn’t need more blood work because the hospital tested that the night before, but he said we’d check again ‪in 3 days‬. Somehow I felt like that tiny bit of growth reassured my faith that it would all be okay. We’ve now made it 8 weeks and our number is still going up, the sac got bigger, through every hurdle in 10 weeks, we prevailed. This would not be different. At this point all of our naysayers were calling the baby a little fighter, and telling us not to lose faith. January 24th, 2019, Sean was unable to get off of work, and so I went to the ultrasound alone. I told the nurse that it would be characteristic of my kid to wait till daddy can’t come to make waves. She chuckled and told me she really hoped that was the case. Dr. Karnitis walked in, followed by another nurse. She is one of my favorites, and she comes in with a supportive pat on the back before the scan begins. He starts the scan, and slowly pans across the uterus. “Oh no,” he pauses, “oh no this does not look like good news.” I am still staring at the screen, I am not going to cry. “Your husband was very interactive, that’s very good. He was very observant of the growth of our sac. I’m going to print him a picture of our sac here. It has gotten visibly smaller. The baby probably died a few days ago, but your uterus looks beautiful. I think it’s trying hard to hold on to that baby and protect it.” I made a comment at this point, but I couldn’t tell you what I said. I think I kind of blacked out. Debbie, the nurse, walked over and hugged me and told me she so sorry. Everyone is so sorry. I felt a teardrop against my face, and I prayed they didn’t see it because that would be the give away that I had stupidly gotten my hopes up, but they must’ve seen it because Dr. Karnitis reached to hand my the tissues and just kind of looked down at the floor. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. “Your uterus looks perfect, we got that formula right. That uterus is ready for triplets. I’m sorry, you did everything, but sometimes the embryo is just not good.” At this point I am full blown crying, and I really just want to get dressed and leave, but now I need to go do blood work. I carry the ultrasound picture of my dead baby with me to the lab to get my blood drawn. I am trying not to make eye contact with anyone because I will not allow myself to cry in front of anyone else. They cannot know that I wasn’t cautious with my optimism. HOW THE HELL DO YOU STAY CAUTIOUS WHEN YOU’VE PRAYED FOR A CHILD FOREVER? I leave the clinic, and text my husband. He says he's so sorry. Everyone is sorry. I’m tired. I just want to go sleep.

On my way home, the roads are terrible but I am driving without caution. Since I am so bad at caution. I am driving and a truck in front of me in going so slow, there is no way around and I just start screaming. Now I am crying and screaming, and I pass a cop and notice I’m definitely going over the speed limit. So I slow down, I take a breath, and I just sit in silence the rest of the way home. I thought I was driving to work, but somehow I ended up at home in the shower. I had already showered that morning, but I needed another one I suppose. I laid in the shower until the water was cold, and for some time after. When I got up, I toweled off, and walked to my bedroom. I woke up three hours later. I took another shower. Our last embryo was dead inside of me. I felt dead inside of me. I don’t want to face anyone. I still don’t. Because when someone hears that I am mourning the loss of a child, yes even at 10 weeks pregnant it is a loss of a child, the questions and opinions will start. “How many times are you going to put yourself through this?” “I knew someone that went through years of treatments and when they stopped trying it finally happened.” “When is enough enough?” “Why spend so much money to have a kid when you can adopt one?” “We care more about you and your health than a baby.” “God has a plan.” “You just have to stay positive.” “It will happen when it happens.” “At least you have your health. There are worse things in life.” It was another 6 days before they were ready to schedule the d&c, but the day before my appointment while at a concert I sat alone in a public bathroom stall covered in my own blood because I began to pass the baby on my own. I panicked at the sight of what looked to be legs and feet. I sat sobbing in a bathroom stall, unsure of what to do, who to talk to...why is it that with infertility, women must suffer alone in silence or face all these insensitive comments and questions?

[thisdaynews]

‘Mother Is Not Going to Like This’

New Post has been published on https://thebiafrastar.com/mother-is-not-going-to-like-this/

‘Mother Is Not Going to Like This’

One by one, they had trickled out of the conference room on the 25th floor of Trump Tower. It was Friday, October 7, 2016, two days before the second presidential debate, and the Republican nominee’s brain trust had spent the morning running a carefully simulated rehearsal session. New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, playing the role of Hillary Clinton, was stationed adjacent to his opponent at a conference table; Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus, acting as the moderator, was positioned directly across from Donald Trump. The rest of the observers—press secretary Hope Hicks, campaign chief executive Steve Bannon, campaign manager Kellyanne Conway, deputy campaign manager David Bossie, son-in-law Jared Kushner and the nominee’s children, among a few others—listened critically, offering occasional feedback.

Hicks had left the room first. The rest of the team, more glued to their smartphones than usual, began taking turns excusing themselves. Priebus, Christie and Trump pushed onward with the debate prep. Finally, looking up and realizing that it was only the three of them remaining, Priebus paused the proceedings. “OK,” he told Trump. “When the entire staff leaves the room, something’s up.”

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Trump hadn’t noticed, either. Now he glanced from side to side. To his right, through the glass-plated doors, he could see the members of his team huddled outside the conference room, whispering in hushed tones. “Yeah,” Trump said, breaking from his practiced debate cadence and barking toward the door. “What the hell’s going on out there?”

A few agonizing moments passed before the door opened. In walked Hicks, carrying a stapled packet of papers. She handed them silently to Trump. A former Ralph Lauren model known for her sharp looks and confident mien, Hicks was now ashen-faced. Trump eyed the top sheet and began reading. “Uh huh,” he said, flipping to the next page. “Mmm hmmm.”

Priebus was growing impatient—and fearful. “What is it?” he said. “Tell me what’s happening.”

Trump ignored him. Turning to a new page, he scanned the print and then stopped suddenly, his expression and tone shifting at once. He looked up at Hicks. “This doesn’t sound like me.”

Priebus raised his voice in uncharacteristic fashion. “Someone tell me something, please!”

Trump looked at him, put the packet on the table, and slid it across. The party chairman began to read, the room now filling around him with the rest of the team. They had all seen it: an email exchange withWashington Postreporter David Fahrenthold, who claimed to have an old audio recording of Trump making exceedingly lewd remarks about women and boasting of his ability to get away with sexual assault. Fahrenthold had sent over the alleged quotes and was requesting comment from the campaign for a story that would run later that day.

“Wow, this isn’t good,” Priebus said, his eyes fixed on a single line. “This is really, really bad.”

The group was paralyzed with silence. Finally, Kushner piped up. “You know, I don’t think it’s all that bad.”

“Jared, what are you talking about?” Priebus said, burying his head in his hands. “This is as bad as it gets.”

Trump, talking to no one in particular, repeated himself. “This doesn’t sound like me.”

Two of the nominee’s advisers spoke up in support of that theory. Conway and Bossie vouched for Trump, saying they had never heard him use any such language to describe women. This wasn’t his style.

Priebus was struck by an impossible bolt of optimism. He told Trump that maybe it was all a mistake; he recalled the time he was misquoted after a speech, when the chairman had used the phrase “hates us” and a reporter wrote that he had said “racist.” Tape recordings were tricky things, Priebus said. Maybe this entire thing was a foul-up.

Just then, Bossie pulled out his iPad. Farenthold, thePostreporter, had sent the audio file. With the nominee’s team clustered around him, Bossie pressed Play. They listened. And then, Trump spoke up. “Well,” he said, “that’s me.”

The room fell hushed. “It was a moment of humility and vulnerability,” recalls Conway. “He legitimately did not remember saying that.”

***

It was just before 4 p.m.in the nation’s capital when theWashington Postpublished an “October surprise” for the ages.

Farenthold’s story told of an exclusively obtained audio recording of Trump, 11 years earlier and newly married, boasting of his sexual exploits to television host Billy Bush. The two were riding together on a bus, preparing to shoot a segment for the NBC showAccess Hollywood, when Trump recalled how he’d once tried to sleep with Bush’s co-host, Nancy O’Dell.

“I moved on her and I failed. I’ll admit it. I did try and fuck her. She was married. And I moved on her very heavily,” Trump said on the tape. “In fact, I took her out furniture shopping. She wanted to get some furniture. I said, ‘I’ll show you where they have some nice furniture.’ I took her out furniture—I moved on her like a bitch. But I couldn’t get there. And she was married.”

Then, when the two men spotted a young woman awaiting them outside the bus—actress Arianne Zucker—Trump told Bush, “I’ve got to use some Tic Tacs just in case I start kissing her. You know, I’m automatically attracted to beautiful—I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait.”

Trump added, “And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.”

The fallout was apocalyptic.

House Speaker Paul Ryan had been scheduled to make his first joint appearance with Trump the next morning at Fall Fest, the annual beer-and-bratwurst political rally in his district. Preparing to speak at a fundraiser for a congressman in Cleveland, Ryan was pulled aside by his longtime aide, Kevin Seifert, who showed him the story. Ryan, the Boy Scout, burst into a fit of cursing just outside a roomful of wealthy donors.

He phoned Priebus immediately. “He cannot come here,” Ryan said. “You need to tell him.”

Priebus relayed this to Trump, who promptly shot the messenger. “Oh no,” the Republican nominee replied, “I’m coming.”

The party chairman called Ryan back with Trump’s reaction. “You’re gonna have to publicly disinvite him, Paul.”

“Fine, then he’s disinvited. He ain’t coming,” the speaker said, raising his voice to Priebus for the first time in their decades-long relationship. “This isn’t something I’m intimidated by.”

A short while later, Ryan’s office blasted out a news release saying he was “sickened” by Trump’s remarks and announcing the presidential candidate’s banishment from the Wisconsin event. Priebus understood but was nonetheless distraught. He had started Fall Fest years ago as the Wisconsin GOP chairman. Saturday’s event was supposed to be a homecoming for him and a harmonious breakthrough for the party. All of them—Priebus, Trump, Ryan—were meant to take the stage together, at long last projecting a united front entering the final weeks of the campaign.

Up until that point, despite Trump’s self-destructive antics, Priebus believed his party had a chance. Clinton was so deeply flawed, and the Democratic base had been made so complacent by the combination of her candidacy and eight years in power, that Priebus clung to the belief that Trump somehow, in some way, might just win the White House.

Everything changed when he heard theAccess Hollywoodtape. And it wasn’t just the party chairman’s own gut reaction. Over the next 36 hours, Priebus fielded scores of phone calls from the most prominent people in Republican politics: congressmen and senators, governors, donors, activists and his own RNC members. Every single person was telling him the same thing: Trump was doomed. The party needed to replace him with Mike Pence atop the ticket.

Reconnecting by phone later that night, Ryan demanded that the national party take action to excommunicate Trump. “This is fatal,” he told Priebus. “How can you get him out of the race?”

Priebus had to explain—to Ryan and to everyone else—that there was no mechanism for removing Trump. But this answer proved inadequate. The voices on the other end of the line demanded that something be done. Many suggested that he, the RNC chairman, publicly renounce Trump and ask for him to step aside as the nominee for the good of the party. (Even some of the people endorsing such an ultimatum knew how silly it sounded. Trump cared nothing for the party; he had not belonged to it until signing his name to a piece of paper a year earlier.)

For his part, Trump had agreed after some cajoling to offer a nonapology apology, issuing a statement to thePostthat read, “This was locker room banter, a private conversation that took place many years ago. Bill Clinton has said far worse to me on the golf course—not even close. I apologize if anyone was offended.”

But his team quickly realized this would not suffice. By Friday evening, Trump’s campaign appeared on the brink of collapse. There were rumors of an imminent mass exodus of Republican officials who would publicly withdraw their support for the party’s nominee. The first departures came that very night.

Sen. Mike Lee of Utah, whom Trump had recently named to an extended list of potential Supreme Court nominees, called on Trump to drop out. So did his colleague Sen. Mark Kirk of Illinois, who asked the RNC to “engage rules for emergency replacement.” Jason Chaffetz, the Utah congressman and chairman of the House Oversight Committee, told a local TV station, “I’m out. I can no longer in good conscience endorse this person for president. It is some of the most abhorrent and offensive comments that you can possibly imagine.”

Trump’s campaign was in scramble mode. He and Clinton were scheduled to debate Sunday night in St. Louis. Convinced that a thorough, videotaped apology was their only chance to survive the weekend, his senior aides set about staging the production. Some tinkered with the text, debating how much emphasis to place on the Clintons’ past scandals involving women. Others prepared for the most important video shoot of the celebrity’s career, cycling between four background screens: daytime Manhattan, nighttime Manhattan, campaign signage or a flat, unassuming blue.

Trump seemed mystified by the blur of manic activity. “I’ve never taken anyone furniture shopping!” he laughed, throwing up his arms. His staff members traded disoriented looks.

Just after midnight, on Saturday, October 8, the campaign posted a 90-second video clip to Trump’s Facebook page. Against a dark superimposed horizon of illuminated skyscrapers, Trump looked directly into the camera. “I’ve never said I’m a perfect person, nor pretended to be someone that I’m not. I’ve said and done things I regret, and the words released today on this more than a decade-old video are one of them. Anyone who knows me know these words don’t reflect who I am. I said it, I was wrong, and I apologize,” he said.

Trump added, “I’ve said some foolish things, but there is a big difference between the words and actions of other people. Bill Clinton has actually abused women and Hillary has bullied, attacked, shamed, and intimidated his victims. We will discuss this more in the coming days. See you at the debate on Sunday.”

Not for a moment would Trump consider quitting the race. He was unmoved by the rebukes of the Republican lawmakers who were piling on with excoriating statements; most of them, he scoffed, were the same people who had opposed his candidacy from its inception. Trump cackled as one of his aides read aloud the rolling list of disavowals from the likes of Ryan and Mitt Romney. He could not have cared less what they had to say.

There was one politician whose reaction Trump worried about: Pence.

Their ticket had been a shotgun marriage, one of convenience more than love. Yet Trump had grown unusually fond of Pence. There was a sincerity to his running mate that he thought rare and endearing. Certainly, Trump found Pence a bit alien: the way he was always praying; the way he referred to his wife, Karen, as “Mother”; and the way the couple was constantly holding hands. (“Look at them!” Trump would tease. “They’re so in love!”) But he appreciated the earnestness with which Pence seemed to believe, as so few in the party did, that Trump was a decent person. Trump had worked hard to earn that faith. On the night of the October 4 vice presidential debate, he even left a voice mail for Pence letting him know that he would be saying a prayer for him.

Speaking in Ohio just after theAccess Hollywoodbombshell dropped, Pence had initially dismissed the news as just another media hatchet job. Yet soon after, he called Trump from the road, checking in as he did daily, sounding upset. He advised Trump to offer a sincere apology. That was the last anyone had heard from the VP nominee. Pence had gone back to Indiana and bunkered down, cutting himself off from the outside world, praying with his wife about what to do next and telling his advisers that he wasn’t sure he could continue with the campaign.

To the extent Trump felt regret, it was over disappointing the Pences.

“Oh boy,” he said Friday afternoon after hanging up with his running mate. “Mother is not going to like this.”

***

The apology video did little to stanch the flow of defections.On Saturday morning, another tranche of Republicans—congressmen, senators, governors, former primary rivals—announced their renunciations of Trump. The list also included GOP luminaries such as Bill Bennett, the former education secretary, and Condoleezza Rice, the former secretary of state, whose name was being tossed around inside the RNC as a potential substitute running mate if Pence took over the ticket.

By midday Saturday, October 8, more than two dozen Republican elected officials had abandoned Trump (counting only those currently in office). Many were calling for Pence to replace him as the GOP nominee. Among them were Sen. John Thune, a member of the GOP leadership, and Ann Wagner, the Missouri congresswoman and a former co-chair of the national party committee.

Priebus continued to swat away the suggestion. As the former general counsel of the RNC, he knew better than anyone that no trigger existed for forcing out the party’s nominee—especially not at this late stage. When he received a call Saturday morning from Wisconsin’s national committeeman, Steve King, informing him that some RNC members were mulling an organized mutiny, the party chairman told King the same thing he was telling everyone else: “It’s not going to work. We need to ride this out.”

But Priebus worried, as did just about everyone else he spoke with, that another shoe was soon to drop. There had been rumors in recent weeks that a lethal opposition-research blast was imminent. Now that it had arrived, Republicans felt certain there were more to follow; that somewhere there existed a veritable treasure trove of old tapes revealing Trump’s greatest hits: misogyny, racism and all sorts of other uncouth talk from the set of his NBC show. (Reporters raced unsuccessfully to reach Mark Burnett, producer ofThe Apprentice, sensing that he possessed the power to swing an election.)

While the party chairman saw no path to removing Trump, he wasn’t ruling out the possibility of Trump stepping aside. Having gotten the sense from Pence’s advisers that the Indiana governor would be willing to take over if Trump quit, Priebus talked into the wee hours Friday night with trusted allies—Ryan and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, as well as top staffers and party lawyers—discussing the logistical hurdles to replacing a nominee one month before Election Day. It wouldn’t be easy: Early voting had begun in some states, and ballots had been printed in most others.

The biggest obstacle, of course, was Trump. It would be tricky enough rejiggering the ticket to pair Pence with a new running mate; doing so without Trump’s blessing would be impossible.

Shortly before 11:00 a.m. Saturday, the Republican nominee convened the campaign’s high command in his residence on the 64th floor of Trump Tower. Everyone looked withered. Rudy Giuliani, the former mayor and one of Trump’s staunchest campaign loyalists, wore a Yankees cap low over his eyes. Priebus hadn’t shaved. Christie dressed in jeans and a Mets jacket, had already informed the group that he needed the rest of the weekend off and would not fly to Sunday’s debate with Trump as planned.

“So,” Trump began, looking to Priebus. “What are you hearing?”

The RNC chairman had spent the past day defending Trump’s rightful claim to the party’s nomination, dismissing calls to expel him and urging calm amid the commotion. But Priebus was not going to sugarcoat the situation. He had long been nauseated at watching all the nominee’s sycophants telling him whatever would keep him happy and upbeat. Trump needed to hear the truth for a change.

“I’ll tell you what I’m hearing,” Priebus said. “Either you’ll lose in the biggest landslide in history, or you can get out of the race and let somebody else run who can win.”

Nobody said a word. Trump’s many loyalists who had gathered—his children, Hicks, Bannon, Conway, Christie, Bossie, Giuliani—were shocked by the blunt assessment. Yet none was eager to push back on it. When Trump went around the room, asking what people thought his chances were, he heard a lot of throat-clearing. Even Bannon, who made it a habit of always saying “100 percent” whenever Trump asked the question, dodged it this time.

Trump tried humor. “So, what’s the good news?” he said.

Nobody laughed.

The meeting lasted 30 minutes longer, most of it spent pushing Trump to sit for an interview that afternoon with David Muir of ABC News. His team said it would be best to discuss the comments fully, and repent for them, ahead of the debate. Trump agreed and the meeting broke up. But then he abruptly changed his mind. Complaining that he would look “weak” by subjecting himself to a journalist whose sole purpose would be extracting as many apologies as possible, he told Hicks the ABC interview was off.

The Republican Party was going to live or die with Trump; if his team couldn’t persuade him to do a network television interview, they certainty weren’t going to convince him to step aside as the nominee. Whatever fantasies of a Pence-Rice ticket danced through the heads of party elders were officially dashed on Saturday afternoon. “The media and establishment want me out of the race so badly,” Trump tweeted. “I WILL NEVER DROP OUT OF THE RACE, WILL NEVER LET MY SUPPORTERS DOWN! #MAGA.”

Pence himself was nowhere to be found. Ryan had asked his old friend to attend the Saturday rally in his district in lieu of Trump. Pence had accepted. Accommodations were made; a Secret Service checkpoint, waved off at the news of Trump’s disinvitation, was reerected outside the event in Elkhorn, Wisconsin. But then Pence didn’t show up. There was no notice, no courtesy call from the VP nominee’s staff. Ryan dialed his old friend’s cell number and got voice mail. Pence was AWOL.

Instead of returning Trump’s calls, or Ryan’s calls, or flying to Wisconsin, the Indiana governor spent Saturday at home. He mostly prayed with his wife, Karen. She was apoplectic, warning her husband that she would no longer appear in public if he carried on as Trump’s running mate. He, in turn, hinted to his advisers that his time on the trail might be up. Feeling moved to communicate his inner anguish, Pence wrote Trump a letter spelling out what hearing that audio had done to him and his wife. (Trump confirmed to me that he received Pence’s note.) When two of Trump’s advisers learned of the letter, they worried they had seen the last of his running mate.

Meanwhile, Ryan was left to fly solo in Elkhorn—no Trump, no Pence and no Priebus.

“There is a bit of an elephant in the room,” the speaker said, taking the stage in Wisconsin. He referenced his statement from the previous day and how “troubling” the situation was. Then, announcing that he wasn’t there to talk about said elephant, Ryan pivoted to his homily about “ideas” and “conservative principles” and his vision for being a “proposition party.” But it was hard to hear over the boos. Chanting the nominee’s name, Trump’s supporters in the audience heckled Ryan throughout his speech. “Shame on you!” they shouted.

***

The women flanked Trump,two of them on each side, seated behind rectangular folding tables draped in olive fabric. The small conference room, on the campus of Washington University in St. Louis, was barren save for the tables, some black coffee mugs, bottles of water and an American flag. Reporters rushed into the room. Cameras started rolling. Jaws hit the floor.

It was less than two hours until the start of the October 9 presidential debate, a spectacle that would draw tens of millions of eyeballs, and the GOP nominee was putting on a surprise pregame show. Without advance warning, Trump held an impromptu news conference alongside a group of women who had publicly accused Bill Clinton of sexual misconduct.

There had been speculation for months that he could invite one of the former president’s accusers to a debate, perhaps having them sit in the front row to unnerve Hillary Clinton. Trump’s campaign always dismissed the rumors. Priebus, who joined Trump on the flight to St. Louis to help with last-minute debate prep, had heard nothing about the planned stunt; the only gossip from the plane ride was Trump railing against Giuliani’s performance on the Sunday shows, yelling repeatedly through the cabin, “What the fuck is Rudy doing? Get this guy off the television!”

Inside the debate hall, when co-moderators Anderson Cooper and Martha Raddatz introduced them, Trump and Clinton entered from opposite wings of the auditorium looking steeled for a street fight. They approached one another, only to stop abruptly and stand several feet apart.There would be no handshake—a first, it was believed, in the annals of presidential debating.

After a schoolteacher in attendance asked the opening question, about whether the candidates felt they were modeling good behavior for the nation’s children, Cooper sensed a natural segue to ask about Trump’s remarks. The Republican nominee offered an answer rehearsed again and again on the plane ride from New York: “I’m not proud of it,” he said, “but this is locker room talk.” Pressed on what his comments meant, Trump replied, “I have great respect for women. Nobody has more respect for women than I do.” There were audible groans from the audience.

When the moderators turned to Clinton, she, like Trump, commenced with a clearly practiced soliloquy. “With prior Republican nominees for president, I disagreed with them … but I never questioned their fitness to serve,” Clinton said. “Donald Trump is different.”

Trump attacked and counterattacked throughout, bringing up Bill Clinton’s history of being “abusive to women” and aggressively prosecuting Clinton’s use of a private email server while secretary of state, an issue he had failed to raise during the first debate. “If I win,” Trump declared, “I am going to instruct my attorney general to get a special prosecutor to look into your situation. Because there have never been so many lies, so much deception.”

“Everything he just said was absolutely false,” Clinton responded when given the floor, adding, “It’s just awfully good that someone with the temperament of Donald Trump is not in charge of the law in our country.”

“Because you’d be in jail,” Trump shot back. Some audience members gasped. Others cheered.

It was, without question, the ugliest and most vitriolic presidential debate in the mass-communication era. And it was exactly what Trump needed. Facing pressure unlike any White House hopeful in memory, the Republican nominee didn’t just get off the mat; he came up swinging. It made all the difference. Within 48 hours the bleeding had stopped: Republicans ceased their calls for his withdrawal, Pence dutifully returned to the stump and his campaign went on as though nothing had happened.

“What were the odds? Like 50-50, will he show up?” Trump says, looking back onAccess Hollywoodweekend and his performance in St. Louis. “That debate won me the election.”

From the forthcoming book AMERICAN CARNAGE: On the Front Lines of the Republican Civil War and the Rise of President Trump by Timothy Alberta. Copyright © 2019 by Timothy Alberta. To be published on July 16, 2019 by Harper, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers. Excerpted by permission.

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[podcastification]

104: Podcast Production Workflow: How To Make It Happen Every Episode

Welcome back to Podcastification - on this episode I’m walking you through the step by step details of what I do to carry out MY successful podcast production workflow every single week. It doesn’t matter if you publish episodes every week, every other week, or once a month - organizationally you’ve GOT to have an effective podcast workflow to ensure two things:

Quality AND Consistency

What I demonstrate and describe on this episode is not the ONLY way to do this - but it’s the best way I’ve found after 5 years of podcasting. And if you scroll down, you’ll also notice that I ALSO recorded this one as a video - with the workflow mapped out on my whiteboard. The visuals help on this one - honest.

If there’s one thing you get out of this episode, this is what I hope it is: Process leads to Success!

[1:18] The vital importance of having a well-considered podcast workflow: consistency & quality

[3:12] Write down every step of your process - one per sticky note: here’s why

[4:01] Beginning the process, one step at a time

Choose your topic

Research and preparation

GUEST EPISODES: Choosing and preparing for your guest

GUEST EPISODES: Reaching out to your guest

GUEST EPISODES: Your guest schedules a time

GUEST EPISODES: Asking the guest to provide you some vital info

GUEST EPISODES: Confirm the recording (the day of the recording)

[17:41] Do you see how the workflow enables you to be professional and consistent?

[21:45] Resuming the steps to your podcast workflow

Create a test recording/sound check

Record the main audio/conversation

Record the intro and outro immediately following the recording: Here’s why

Add the audio files to my Dropbox system (I describe it here)

Notify the editor (or set a time to edit on your own calendar if you do your own editing)

Create an optimized title and send to my VA (because the artwork step is coming)

Add to Auphonic (if you don’t use Auphonic, do it now!)

Writing the show notes and notify the VA

Artwork/graphics are created

Post the show notes and artwork to Libsyn and the website

Set up social sharing

GUEST EPISODES: Send promo info to guest

[44:15] Why process equals success

Resources Mentioned

YouCanBook.me

Calendly

Schedule Once

The list I send to guests about how to best prepare for the recording

The form I use to ask my guests to confirm their participation here

Google Forms

Hello Sign

Hubspot

Ringr

Zencastr

Cleanfeed

Skype

Zapier

Keyword Finder (affiliate link)

Auphonic

My previous episode about using Auphonic

Episode: The Triple Power of Killer Show Notes

Canva

Libsyn - use the code “PFT” to get up to 1 ½ months off

Episode: Using virtual services/assistants

Procrastinate on Purpose by Rory Vaden

Recur Post

eClincher

Meet Edgar

Featured On This Episode

Custom Audiograms from Podcast Fast Track

Wavve - check it out!

Connect with me…

Carey(AT)PodcastFastTrack.com

On Facebook

On Twitter

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Here’s why you need a well-considered podcast workflow

Nothing successful happens by accident. Here are a couple of real-life examples…

Your wrist watch or smartphone didn’t just “happen.” Somebody thought it up, designed it, and made it to do exactly what it does. And you get to enjoy the benefits of their detailed, systematic approach to creating a solution you need.

Your podcast is the same type of thing.

You’re trying to reach a particular audience to teach them particular things or focus on particular topics. And it’s not just going to happen…

You need to learn how to be systematic about it so you can be effective at it.

Process = Success: and in Podcasting the process that makes it happen is a powerful podcast production workflow.

When you have a podcast workflow that is well-considered and smart, you’ll avoid two fo the biggest problems that plague any content creator: inconsistency and lack of quality.

Said another way - getting down a great podcast workflow is likely the ONE THING that will enable you to stand apart from all your competitors. The very people you want to attract and benefit will be drawn to you because something about you is very obvious: YOU CARE about the content you’re producing and the people you’re producing it for.

This audio/video episode is aimed at showing you, step by step, how to create a podcast production workflow that is unique to you and your show - and how to keep it running episode after episode to ensure you provide the value to your listeners that you really want to provide.

OK - it’s time to create your unique podcast workflow. Are you ready?

What I’m about to describe to you is MY WAY of going about this process. You may have a different way that works for you - mindmaps, pencil and paper, computer software - whatever.

I don’t care HOW you do it, I just care THAT you do it. Process equals success: remember that!

My system involves the use of my whiteboard and a handful of sticky notes. I use this system because it’s easy to see in one glance and it’s easy to modify as I go by moving the sticky notes around on the board.

And to clarify, understand this: I don’t LEAVE it in this format. I’m going to transfer what I create onto a checklist that I use for every episode, but for now - as I’m creating it, I’ll ues this systems.

So, it’s time to get into the steps.

OVERARCHING METHOD: Write down every step of your production process: one step per sticky note

It may be helpful to do this the next time you work on your podcast episodes. It will require some additional time so make sure you set aside a chunk so you can do it. And let me warn you, you’ll want to shortcut this step because of impatience or eagerness. But don’t.

This is an example of doing something laborious now that will save you laborious steps later - and in an exponentially multiplying way - so stick with it and get it done.

Be as detailed about these steps as you need to be to ensure that you don’t forget anything about what goes into it. If you’ve never detailed the exact steps that you do by rote memory that go into each of these sticky note steps, I’d suggest you bullet-point those steps on the sticky note so you can actually see them and understand them visually.

Who knows, you may be handing a lot of this work to a VA or assistant in the future, so the more you have written down ahead of time, the more easily you’ll be able to do that.

Don’t worry about getting the steps in order at this point - just get them out of your head and onto the sticky notes. You’ll have time in the next step to arrange them in sequence. You’ll also find that you likely forgot some - that’s OK too. You’ll just record them on your own sticky note as they come to mind.

STEP #1: Chose the topic for the podcast episode you’ll be working on

When I first started podcasting I shot from the hip WAY too much. That means…

I didn’t plan my episode topics until the week of publication

I didn’t think them through in a logical sequence

I didn’t strategize for how I was going to BEST help my audience

Do you see where I’m going with this? How can you create amazing value to stand out in the crowd if you don’t plan to do so?

I had to learn that lesson the hard way and hope you don’t have to. That’s why I’m focusing on this right at this point.

Your audience deserves the very best from you - so give it to them through planning out your episodes.

Once you choose the topic for an episode, you’ve only done the FIRST thing. The next step is even more important.

STEP #2: Research your topic and/or prepare for the episode

Very few of us are accomplished enough or talented enough at public speaking to think of a topic and then effectively ad-lib as we record an episode. So don’t try it - not for a very long time.

You need to develop the discipline of researching, learning, growing, knowing your topics backwards and forwards - THAT is what will get you to the point that ad-libs are acceptable and possible.

People like John Maxwell do it all the time - but hey, he’s John - which only means he’s paid his dues over the years THROUGH the kind of diligent work I’m talking about.

So… what goes into good research? For me, it’s a combination of things, depending on whether I’ll have a guest on the episode or not...

Read up on the topic

It’s not enough to know what I think about something. I need to know what’s being said by others who are knowledgeable on the topic. If I don’t take the time to do this I can come across as a naive know-it-all. I don’t want that.

So I typically collect links to articles, etc. in my Pocket account and then link them to the card in my Trello board where that idea is recorded (I created a video about how I do that once upon a time). That way I can easily go to the topic > click on each link > read articles without having to search for them > and begin my own bullet point outline for the episode, all in the same spot on my Trello board.

Create a bullet-point outline of my thoughts

As I just mentioned, the next thing I do is begin my own outline of the topic. I want to include things I’ve discovered/ learned, things I believe from my experience, and what others who are experts on the subject have to say.

I want to leave no stone unturned - because it’s that kind of comprehensive quality that will get the attention of my listeners/readers AND get the attention of Google. Honestly, it does work that way.

Once I’ve created my bullet-point outline, I’ll go through it slowly to ensure it makes sense from a sequential standpoint. If I need to reorder or reorganize it, I will.

It’s got to make sense the moment a reader/listeners glances over it. If it doesn’t they’ll probably click off to something else.

Journal/write about the topic

I don’t always do this, but if I’m dealing with a complicated subject, or one that is easily confused (in my own mind, especially), I’ll add this step - I journal my thoughts and understanding about the topic.

Why do I do this? Because as Dawson Trotman once said, “Thoughts disentangle themselves when they flow from lips or fingertips.”

Typing/writing things out helps ME understand it. When I finally record the episode I want to be speaking about the subject matter naturally, as one who has studied and understood the topic for myself (because I have).

If I shortcut this step, it will show up in the quality of my episode content - and I believe that costs listeners/fans/followers in the long run. I can’t have that.

I won’t have that. :)

Brainstorm/decide on guests for the episode

If the topic I’m interested in would benefit from a conversation with an expert guest, I start thinking through who that guest should be. Nobody is out of the realm of possibility. My philosophy is to ask because the worst they could do is ignore my outreach or say “No.”

That’s not so bad, is it?

In a future point I’ll tell you how I go about reaching out to these experts.

Brainstorm resources I may need for the episode

Are there any special graphics, audio clips, sound effects, or other resources that would make this episode ultra special?

If I can come up with good ideas, I jot them down. I’m going to do everything I can to up the value of the audio and the show notes to make them stand out - to my listeners and to Google. My philosophy on that is that if it pleases my listeners, it will likely please Google too.

But be careful here - don’t overdo it. I went through a season on my podcast where I did lots of cutesy sound effects just for the sake of doing them. I thought they were fun and gave the show a unique sound.

My audience told me they were annoying. (Listen to your listeners when they give you feedback).

STEP #3: Give my topic, potential guest, and resource needs to my VA/Assistant

If you don’t have a VA or assistant who helps you with this kind of thing, you’re making a list for yourself - and you have another set of things to do in order to publish the show as you have planned.

It’s a lot of stuff, but it’s worth it to do things right. I’d rather have an episode publish late and be phenomenal than to publish on time and be so-so. I believe my audience knows the difference - and is glad when I don’t shortcut the process.

So… passing these things to my VA puts a new task on her plate, which is the next step in this process - reaching out to the guest I have in mind.

If I’ve decided to approach the guest through a contact or friend, I do that legwork before I pass this info to my VA. I want her to have as easy a time as possible connecting with the person I have in mind.

She’ll also start collecting the resources I need, whatever they are, and place them in a predetermined Dropbox or Google Drive location. That way when I or my editor are ready to produce the episode or show notes, the resources are available.

STEP #4: Reach out to the potential guest

Once I’m ready for my VA to reach out - I have her do so using a template I’ve written and provided to her that she customizes to the person I have in mind, the topic I want to chat with them about, and the timeframe in which I’d like to record the episode.

I thought about providing a copy of my template here but decided against it, simply because any template you create needs to be in your voice and reflect the unique characteristics of your podcast and brand. I can’t write that for you.

So, spend quality time on this. It’s important. The first impression you give to potential guests is powerful for them and could make or break their willingness to be a guest on your podcast.

Some items you might want to include…

Names of previous guests who have been on your show

A link to an outstanding show notes page to show them how you feature them

A suggested timeframe for the two of you to do the recording

A link to your intake/scheduling platform

And even though you need to include all that - keep it short. Busy people don’t have time for long emails. Short and sweet is key.

STEP #5: Guest Schedules a Time to Record and Completes Intake Form

I’m being entirely optimistic here, assuming that your email request was well-received and the person you reached out to is enthusiastic about being on your show. If so, you should receive a response of some kind from them - they’ve filled out your intake form or have scheduled on your calendar to record a conversation.

This isn’t really a step where you need to do something, I just include to remind you that your next action points depend on this happening first. So be patient and remember that busy people are busy. It may take them a while to respond (if they do at all).

STEP #6: Confirm your recording with the guest

Possibly the worst thing you could do is to receive a favorable reply from a guest and then not respond in kind.

That person needs to know that you received their information and are planning on recording at the time they chose.

So reply to them - some way - any way. Just let them know you got their information and are looking forward to the conversation at the particular date and time they selected.

If you have a list of interview best-practices you can send their way, include that with your response. You want to help your guests be good guests.

STEP #7 - Test your recording equipment

The day of your recording has come. You’re ready to get a great conversation or solo recording into digital form.

But you won’t be able to if your equipment/setup isn’t working properly.

So test everything. You don’t want the audio coming out less than professional. It will reflect badly on you and on your guest. So take the extra time you need to ensure everything is working as expected.

I’ve had instances where I had to switch my recording method simply because I couldn’t get things worked out. I’ve also had to ask guests to switch the microphone on their end to get a better sound.

As you do these things, be sure to reiterate to your guests that it’s all for the sake of making them sound as great as possible. They’ll usually be OK with the hassle in that case.

STEP #8: Record your main audio

This one is pretty simple - just do the recording.

Use the great outline you created in the prep and research stage.

Enjoy the conversation with your guest. Mine the gold nuggets out of them with good questions.

You’re more than halfway done at this point - I think.

STEP #9: Record your intro, outro, and pre-roll elements

I label this step the way I do because it’s what I have to record for my podcast production workflow. Yours will vary.

But the point is this - and I can’t say it enough… well, maybe a story will help…

I have clients all the time who toss their main content into Dropbox for my team the minute they are done recording it. Check. Good job.

But then when it comes time for my team to put together their audio and produce it, we have no intro or outro (or other needed elements).

When I talk to the client about it they say, “Yeah, I always forget to do that.” Or another, even better version goes something like this… “I wish I could do this a better way. By the time I get around to recording the intro and outro I’ve forgotten everything we talked about.”

BINGO! This approach solves those problems.

You don’t have to remember to record anything because it’s already recorded.

You don’t have to rack your brain to remember the details of a conversation you had weeks ago, because you recorded the intro and outro fresh on the heels of that great conversation in the first place.

Get it all done at one time, while it’s still fresh on your mind - and save yourself a bunch of hassle later.

STEP # 10: Store the files in your designated place

In my case, Dropbox is the destination for all my recorded files - and we structure the files and name them in a way that everyone one the team knows what they are looking at and what do do with what they see there.

The more detailed you can be with these systems when you’re working with others, the less communication you’ll have to have week to week.

Just set it up in a way that works and leave it alone.

If you’re doing the editing work yourself you still need to be organized. I can’t tell you how many times at the beginning of my podcasting journey I couldn’t find the audio file I recorded.

Clean up your system. A place for everything and everything in its place.

STEP #11: Notify editor / do the editing

Once my files land in Dropbox, my editor receives a notification that the audio is ready for him and he gets to work.

If I were doing the editing myself, I’d arrange my schedule so I could do it immediately following the steps I’ve just outlined.

I don’t want to have to come back to it later. I don’t want to have to remember where I left off. I want it out of my hair, scheduled, and ready to go - all in one swoop.

STEP #12: Optimize the title of the episode and send to my VA

This one is HUGEly important. I can’t stress it enough. In fact, I want to say it again!

OPTIMIZE YOUR TITLE. If you don’t know why this is so important, you must not have heard the incredible results I got from doing so - on this episode.

And what you hear in that amazing case-study doesn’t only apply to show titles - it applies to episode titles too.

So I take the time to do some effective long-tail keyword research using this tool (this is my affiliate link) to make sure I’m crafting a title that people out there in Google-land are actually searching for.

Then, once the title is honed in just like I want it - I pass it on to my VA. Why?

Because of this…

STEP #13: My VA creates my episode artwork

Using Canva templates I’ve set up ahead of time, my VA drags images into the display, changes titles and episode numbers, and cranks out new artwork for every episode of my show.

She does that with the title I provide to her.

But she also produces social media artwork aimed at making the episode appealing to social media users. These may include quotes from the episode, the optimized title I passed her way, or even audiograms (coming to my workflow in the near future).

Then she’ll schedule out the social media elements using a social media management tool of some sort (we haven’t settled on one at this point, though I have used eClincher in the past and didn’t have any trouble with it). And she makes sure to include a short link to the episode show notes page as part of the social media posts.

STEP #14: Show notes are created

As of right now, this is still on my plate. I write these show notes for every episode of my podcast (as of June 2018).

Yes, they are long. Yes, I’ve spent half the day on this set of notes already. YES! It’s worth it.

The value of exhaustive content like this will grow over time as the internet rolls on. And it will bring great value to my listeners again and again.

If you want your show notes to be a certain way, it’s up to you to ensure they ARE that way.

Either you have to refine your process and create a video or checklist to show someone else how to do it, or you have to write them yourself.

OR - I almost forgot this one - you can outsource your podcast show notes to a team of professionals like mine.

STEP #15 - My VA schedules my audio and show notes on my media host and website

Nothing hard about this - just a lot of detail. And I’m responsible to make sure my VA understands the details, knows how to implement them, and is able to do it without fail.

I recommend checklists. HIGHLY.

You can’t expect quality or consistency from anyone if you don’t enable them to know what that level of quality looks like.

This goes double or triple for the people working for you.

So figure out the steps involved in your posting process - write it down - tweak it - make sure nothing is missing.

Then pass it on to someone else. Nathan and I talked about that on this episode.

STEP 16: Send promo materials to my guest (if applicable)

This is another task my VA has been instructed to do - and she only does it if my episode included a guest - OR if I mentioned someone in the episode that I’d like to let know about the mention.

She simply sends another form letter, modified to the person and episode, that provides resources to my guest for sharing the episode with their network.

I want to borrow from my guest’s network to get momentum for the episode. The more it is seen in their network, the more likelihood there is that I’ll gain some new subscribers to my podcast.

It’s that simple.

Wrap-UP

Going step by step through my podcast production workflow like this is a bit exhausting, isn’t it? My brain is tired - as are my hands (from the typing).

But it’s an example of how a bit of hard work now will reap huge rewards in the future that are ongoing and compounding over time.

I’d love to hear your best practices when it comes to your podcast workflow. Please let me know what YOU do to make your workflow smooth and simple.

Check out this episode!

[trvlbug]

Zennie needs to chill! Painting the roof to keep it cool

Zennie has a metal roof, and boy, does it get hot up there! On those sunny days in the desert when it's over 100 degrees Fahrenheit outside, the roof is so hot you can't touch it without burning yourself. I'm not sure exactly how hot that is, but I've felt it too many times!

This heat is a problem, and I'd read that painting your RV roof can make a real difference. So I decided to cool Zennie off a bit by painting the roof with white elastomeric roof paint. Here's the scoop...

Why worry about the hot roof?

1. It heats up the inside of the motorhome. If you're traveling in an RV in hot climates, then keeping it as naturally cool as possible is important. If you're running an air conditioner, then it will use less power if you're not absorbing a ton of solar heat through your roof. . In my case, I took the AC unit off Zennie because (a) I'm never plugged in, I always boondock, (b) I hate running a generator, and (c) I want to save the weight of both the AC unit and the generator. With no AC, it's even more important to do what I can to keep it cool. Painting your RV roof white is supposed to reduce the inside temperature by several degrees, and every little bit helps!

2. I suspect it damaged my solar panels. I installed flexible solar panels directly on Zennie's roof. This seemed like a great solution - lightweight and low profile. However, when they were sitting in the sun during a big Tucson heat wave, my solar panels stopped working - first one, then a couple of weeks later the other. . Now this could be a coincidence, but I suspect that the superheated roof caused some damage to the panels. This could have been due to the heat itself, or possibly to the expansion and shifting of the roof as it heated up. (I'm using a different method for mounting the new panels, to avoid that direct roof contact.)

3. You can't work up on the roof. During hot weather, I could only work on the roof from 6 to 8am, and after that the roof was so hot it was really painful to touch. Yes, I brought up boards to sit on and mats to lay across open spaces. But the roof radiated heat waves, making it much hotter working up there than on the ground, and there was always some time when I accidentally touched that sheet of hot metal. Ouch! . The white painted roof reflects a lot of the sun's rays, so it doesn't absorb nearly as much heat, and it stays cooler to the touch. If I need to work on the roof, it's both safer and more comfortable.

"Cat on a hot tin roof?" Or "Deanna on a hot Zennie roof?"

What is elastomeric roof paint?

Elastomeric roof paint works well in hot climates, and it's common for people to use on their homes in the southwest. It's supposed to be elastic enough to handle expansion and shifting with temperature changes, while maintaining a solid seal on the roof. The white version is popular for its heat reduction properties.

The elasomeric roof paint I used on Zennie

Some types of this paint are especially recommended for use on RVs and campers, where the roof gets jostled around a lot more than a permanent home installation.

Also, some types of elastomeric paint are designed for different types of roofing materials. I looked for one that specified metal roofs, but you'll have to do your research.

I painted my motorhome roof for the heat reduction, but a side benefit of elastomeric paint is its rain-blocking qualities. If you have tiny pinholes in the roof, the paint can seal them up, so it's a relatively easy way to take care of minor imperfections and prevent a few leaks.

Painting your RV roof with elastomeric paint

In New Mexico, I happened to camp near a guy who saw my can of elastomeric paint, and told me he was an expert on it. He said he used to paint roofs around Tucson with this stuff as his job, and gave me some tips on how to do it so that it lasts.

He also pointed out a nearby camper that had strips of white blowing in the wind at the edges of its roof -- what happens if your elastomeric paint doesn't stick correctly!

Here's what he advised, and my comments:

Surface prep. No surprise here. Just like with any kind of painting, getting the surface cleaned properly is important to making sure the paint sticks well.

Paint on dry days. You don't want the roof to get rained on until at least 24 hours after you paint it, so check the weather forecast before you begin.

Start at first light. You want to paint during the coolest part of the day, so he advised me to start as soon as it was light enough outside to see what I was doing. This is in a hot climate - it might not be wisest if you're in a cooler place. Check your paint for optimal temperatures.

Paint in a cool, shaded place. If your freshly painted roof gets hit with full sun and heat before it's fully cured, this can affect the way it adheres to the roof. Keep it as cool as you can for the first 24 hours, preferably somewhere shady out of the sun.

Let it cure 24 hours. You don't want to take off down the highway until your roof paint is fully cured, because the wind could affect the wet paint, too. He said to wait a minimum of 4 hours, but really 24 hours is ideal. You're going to the effort of painting the roof, so it would be a shame to have to redo it just because you're impatient to get on the road!

Add another coat every year or two. Different types of paints say they'll last different durations. The one I bought says it's good for 10 years. But if you keep painting your RV roof with another a coat every year or two, it should last indefinitely. If you wait until the first coat is flaking apart, you'll have more work to do on surface prep just to get it back in shape. Adding paint now and then is a lot easier, and will keep the roof cool and dry!

Painting Zennie's roof with elastomeric roof paint

So how did this go for me? OK, I guess, but I'm not done. This is still an on-going project!

I found a quiet free campsite near Los Alamos, New Mexico where I could work, with a nice shady parking spot, and a weather forecast that was dry for a couple of days. One evening I went up on the roof and cleaned everything so it would be ready at first light the next day.

The big morning came, and I got up on the roof with my paint, brushes and roller. The surprise was how thin this paint is! I'd read accounts by other people saying that 2 coats should be enough, and my fellow camper-expert said that often one coat would do it! So I'd been hoping that in 1 or 2 days, I'd be done.

Well, they must have all been using a different brand of paint! I put on one coat one morning, and a second coat the next morning, and the roof still doesn't look entirely white. It's pretty white, but you can still see through it, and it's not the glowing white that I was expecting. I think I'll need at least 3 coats (perhaps even 4) to get the complete reflective white that should keep things the coolest.

Here's how the roof looked after a couple of coats

Project status and questions

After getting those 2 coats of paint on, the summer monsoon season arrived, with rain almost every afternoon. Between the frequent rains and my travel schedule, I haven't yet had a chance to add the final coat, so a month later, this project is still in process.

Here are a few questions I've got that I want to answer as I watch this project over time.

How many coats does it take for total white? I know that with this particular brand, 2 coats doesn't do it. Will 3 be enough, or will I need to do 4?

How much temperature difference does it make? I do know the roof doesn't get nearly as hot, because I can now touch it on days where I would have burned myself before for sure. How many degrees difference that is, I don't know. I also need to see how that translates into the inside temperature.

Are there any places where the paint starts to lift? I'm trying to follow the advice I've gotten, so hopefully this won't happen, but it is one of the risks when painting your RV roof...

How does it work on top of Eternabond roofing tape? I painted over the edges of my Eternabond roofing tape, to provide an unbroken surface from the metal roof to the tape. I know this isn't really necessary, since the tape is reflective white and waterproof already, but I didn't want to leave any unpainted gaps. The paint may stick differently to the tape than the metal roof. Another "we'll see..." item!

How does the paint weather over time? This is the big question to answer a year or two down the road. After it's gone through months of blazing sun, freezing cold, rain storms, hail storms, and the occasional scratching tree branch, how does this hold up?

For the answers to these and other questions, I'll write an update later! I've got high hopes, but time will tell...

Project - Painting the roof Product - Kool Seal 63-600 White elastomeric roof paint. Kool Seal has a range of different products, so do the research to verify which of them is right for your RV roof type.

Questions? Comments?

Have you painted your RV roof with elastomeric roof paint? Did it work well for you, or did you encounter any problems? I'd love to hear about your experiences, so please share in the Reply section below. Thanks!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PHOTO CREDITS: Deanna Keahey

The post Zennie needs to chill! Painting the roof to keep it cool appeared first on Uphill Zen.

Related posts:

Zennie - The 1986 Toyota Motorhome

from Zennie needs to chill! Painting the roof to keep it cool

[joshuagarrickblog]

Lasik Eye Surgery – Right Here in Waukesha, WI

http://www.lasereyesurgerynow.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/Eye-Doctor.jpeg

Lasik Eye Surgery – Right Here in Waukesha, WI

Laser Eye Surgery Now is committed to managing several types of problems related to your vision issues and their correction. It’s essential that you find a reputable and highly skilled surgeon in Waukesha, WI. No vision or eyesight challenge is too minor to be examined by our experienced team of lasik surgeons. We have reliable lasik surgeons with the opthamology expertise and skill you’ll need, and using state-of-the-art technologies to correct common eyesight problems. Relax, because it doesn’t matter what your eyesight issue may be, we’re right here to serve you. And, as it suits your schedule. You can find us locally in Waukesha. We can proudly say we provide the most knowledgeable eye assessment and lasik eye surgery doctors in Wisconsin. For more information about our lasik eye surgery services, give us a call. We’re here to serve you at your convenience.

Our Qualified Laser Eye Surgery Staff in Wisconsin Are Among the Finest in The Field – Near You

The training behind our capable lasik surgeons is the finest. It took hundreds of hours of education and experience to achieve the results they do. Every day. And, our lasik eye surgery team can be found in Waukesha. And we understand that you’d like a competent specialist to handle your concern with your deteriorating eyesight and correcting it. So when you’re prepared to deal with your vision issues, you ought to know… We take our patient’s eyesight requirements very seriously, so call us. We’re just a call away.

Call Us Today!

Our Laser Eye Surgery Process Is Executed Thoroughly In Waukesha

Laser Eye Surgery Now are second to none when it comes to correcting vision issues related to myopic or hyperopic vision so you can stop having to wear glasses or lenses. Our highly skilled lasik eye surgery experts rely on techniques that are rigorously tested and approved. Maybe your vision is just a little out of focus or if you’ve been wearing glasses or lenses forever, we can probably get you in for a comprehensive assessment fast. You can rely on our lasik eye surgery price from our pros in Waukesha.

How to Find the Best Vision Correction Clinic In Waukesha, WI

It’s really important to what you wish to achieve, that you select a proven and reliable lasik eye surgery clinic, with doctors who are experts in the type of lasik surgery your eyes require. Whether you’re going to want 0 For certain, you’ll want to employ a laser vision correction team whom you trust. Maybe you don’t understand the importance of taking on a skilled and capable specialist until afterward, when vision problems creep up. Our lasik eye surgery team of doctors are the best experts to offer a comprehensive assessment and a tailor a treatment plan to suit your needs. You’re in great hands, so give us a shout.

Services Qualifications for Laser Eye Surgery Now in Waukesha, WI

Any lasik eye surgery and vision correction team that you call, will probably suggest a comprehensive eye assessment to determine if you’re a good candidate for corrective lasik eye surgery. The best patients for lasik eye surgery are people who have healthy corneas. Lasik eye surgery patients should not have had any eye discease, uncontrolled glaucoma and no residual active eye conditions – like conjunctivitis – known as pink eye. Essentially, if you’re looking for optimal results from corrective lasik eye surgery, the right patient should be in good health with no history of any eye disease, including keratoconus, corneal disease, auto-imune diseases or recurring infections. However, we’d need to do a full examination to determine the condition of your eyes and if Lasik is right for you. You may end up being an ideal candidate! Usually, the results of the comprehensive examination will show that more people than not are a good candidates for corrective vision surgery. With all results, the surgeon will suggest a unique treatment plan to meet your own vision needs based on what the exam indicated.

Laser Eye Surgery Now is dedicated to providing the best customer care and corrective vision expertise in Waukesha. We always promise you that we’ll meet and exceed your expectations of your experience. We know that all customer is very different and for that reason we strive to ensure you’ll have quality services that fit your indivuality and the best experience with our top notch team. And should you decide to go ahead, a competitive lasik eye surgery price as well! Our expertise is proven by our many satisified patients. We offer several ophthalmology services today. Among them, are vision correction with lasik surgery, but we can also fit you with new prescription glasses if it turns out that you’re not a good candidate for surgery. We also offer esthetic procedures to enhance your eyes. And these are just some of our offerings. Read ahead to discover more info on our wide range of corrective eye care services and other eye care offerings, in Waukesha.

Discover More Information About Vision Correction Services Around Waukesha, WI

One of the primary eyesight correction methods you’ll discover, is for correcting myopia, which is, in common terms, near-sightedness. Another form of eyesight correction services you’ll see is for correcting far-sightedness or hyperopia – you’ll be able to get rid of glasses for reading. A third kind of Lasik eyesight correction you my see, is for presbyopia, which is an age-related predicament where the lens of the eye becomes less flexible. One more variety of eye sight correction service you might discover, is for the treatment of glaucoma in the appropriate candidates.

What to Look For When Thinking About Getting Eye Sight Corrective Surgery

just about all vision correction laser clinic follow a proven set of procedures for booking in patients, performing assessments, booking surgeries and patient follow-up. Don’t be shy to ask them exactly how their process works. How many patients have they performed the surgery on? Of course, you should ask what type of customer care or patient follow-up they have and if it’s covered in the quoted price. Ask if you’ll need to purchase medications out of pocket. Another thing you should know about is if they’ve had any surgeries that did not turn out the best hoped for. if so, how did they manage the situation? Find out if they have a payment plan. You must also inquire whether the surgery is covered by most insurance. You don’t want a surprise bill afterward. Above all, make sure that you’re comfortable with the business you’re considering making an appointment with.

A Few Steps To Sourcing a Capable Opthamology Clinic

The first thing you’ll need to do is to find out if they’ve got the training, education and the credentials to perform this type of surgery. There should be lots of testimonials from satisfied and happy patients. Another thing you have to do is make sure that they’re available on short notice if you need them – especially if you have an emergency situation. Another thing you ought to do is find out if they’re prepared to take the time to understand your particular situation. And are not impatient with you. Finally, the most important thing is probably that they’re capable of meeting your needs and that you feel comfortable with asking any and all questions. Because you’re not going to have a good experience, if you feel you’re not valued. If you’re at the end of your rope because you’re fed up wearing glasses – you need some peace of mind fast. At Laser Eye Surgery Now you’ll find those options. Guaranteed.

Call Us Today!

Skillful & Experienced Opthamology Doctors Are Difficult to Find in Waukesha – Give Our Specialists a Shout Right Now

Our support staff are very carefully hired to make sure that you’ll get the utmost service, blended with a healthy dose of compassionate care. We’re very reliable in our industry. Developing top notch knowledge can take years of practice. You’re just about ready to book your assessment. There’s no time like the present. You could finally throw away those lousy glasses. We know from our own experiences, it’s a liberating experience to never again have to wear glasses. No matter the need, for added details, give one of our specialists a call to answer your questions. We’re always available in Waukesha. Call Laser Eye Surgery Now today!

State We serve 

Alabama

Hawaii

Massachusetts

New Mexico

Tennessee

Alaska

Idaho

Michigan

New York

South Dakota

Arizona

Illinois

Minnesota

North Dakota

Texas

Arkansas

Indiana

Mississippi

Ohio

Utah

California

Iowa

Missouri

​North Carolina

Vermont

Colorado

Kansas

Montana

Oklahoma

Virginia

Connecticut

Kentucky

Nebraska

Oregon

Washington

Delaware

​Louisiana

Nevada

Pennsylvania

West Virginia

Florida

Maine

​New Hampshire

Rhode Island

Wisconsin

Georgia

Maryland

New Jersey

South Carolina

Wyoming

The post Lasik Eye Surgery – Right Here in Waukesha, WI appeared first on Laser Eye Surgery Now.

from Laser Eye Surgery Now http://www.lasereyesurgerynow.com/wi/lasik-waukesha/

[jerricwilliamson]

Lasik Eye Surgery – Right Here in Waukesha, WI

http://www.lasereyesurgerynow.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/Eye-Doctor.jpeg

Lasik Eye Surgery – Right Here in Waukesha, WI

Laser Eye Surgery Now is committed to managing several types of problems related to your vision issues and their correction. It’s essential that you find a reputable and highly skilled surgeon in Waukesha, WI. No vision or eyesight challenge is too minor to be examined by our experienced team of lasik surgeons. We have reliable lasik surgeons with the opthamology expertise and skill you’ll need, and using state-of-the-art technologies to correct common eyesight problems. Relax, because it doesn’t matter what your eyesight issue may be, we’re right here to serve you. And, as it suits your schedule. You can find us locally in Waukesha. We can proudly say we provide the most knowledgeable eye assessment and lasik eye surgery doctors in Wisconsin. For more information about our lasik eye surgery services, give us a call. We’re here to serve you at your convenience.

Our Qualified Laser Eye Surgery Staff in Wisconsin Are Among the Finest in The Field – Near You

The training behind our capable lasik surgeons is the finest. It took hundreds of hours of education and experience to achieve the results they do. Every day. And, our lasik eye surgery team can be found in Waukesha. And we understand that you’d like a competent specialist to handle your concern with your deteriorating eyesight and correcting it. So when you’re prepared to deal with your vision issues, you ought to know… We take our patient’s eyesight requirements very seriously, so call us. We’re just a call away.

Call Us Today!

Our Laser Eye Surgery Process Is Executed Thoroughly In Waukesha

Laser Eye Surgery Now are second to none when it comes to correcting vision issues related to myopic or hyperopic vision so you can stop having to wear glasses or lenses. Our highly skilled lasik eye surgery experts rely on techniques that are rigorously tested and approved. Maybe your vision is just a little out of focus or if you’ve been wearing glasses or lenses forever, we can probably get you in for a comprehensive assessment fast. You can rely on our lasik eye surgery price from our pros in Waukesha.

How to Find the Best Vision Correction Clinic In Waukesha, WI

It’s really important to what you wish to achieve, that you select a proven and reliable lasik eye surgery clinic, with doctors who are experts in the type of lasik surgery your eyes require. Whether you’re going to want 0 For certain, you’ll want to employ a laser vision correction team whom you trust. Maybe you don’t understand the importance of taking on a skilled and capable specialist until afterward, when vision problems creep up. Our lasik eye surgery team of doctors are the best experts to offer a comprehensive assessment and a tailor a treatment plan to suit your needs. You’re in great hands, so give us a shout.

Services Qualifications for Laser Eye Surgery Now in Waukesha, WI

Any lasik eye surgery and vision correction team that you call, will probably suggest a comprehensive eye assessment to determine if you’re a good candidate for corrective lasik eye surgery. The best patients for lasik eye surgery are people who have healthy corneas. Lasik eye surgery patients should not have had any eye discease, uncontrolled glaucoma and no residual active eye conditions – like conjunctivitis – known as pink eye. Essentially, if you’re looking for optimal results from corrective lasik eye surgery, the right patient should be in good health with no history of any eye disease, including keratoconus, corneal disease, auto-imune diseases or recurring infections. However, we’d need to do a full examination to determine the condition of your eyes and if Lasik is right for you. You may end up being an ideal candidate! Usually, the results of the comprehensive examination will show that more people than not are a good candidates for corrective vision surgery. With all results, the surgeon will suggest a unique treatment plan to meet your own vision needs based on what the exam indicated.

Laser Eye Surgery Now is dedicated to providing the best customer care and corrective vision expertise in Waukesha. We always promise you that we’ll meet and exceed your expectations of your experience. We know that all customer is very different and for that reason we strive to ensure you’ll have quality services that fit your indivuality and the best experience with our top notch team. And should you decide to go ahead, a competitive lasik eye surgery price as well! Our expertise is proven by our many satisified patients. We offer several ophthalmology services today. Among them, are vision correction with lasik surgery, but we can also fit you with new prescription glasses if it turns out that you’re not a good candidate for surgery. We also offer esthetic procedures to enhance your eyes. And these are just some of our offerings. Read ahead to discover more info on our wide range of corrective eye care services and other eye care offerings, in Waukesha.

Discover More Information About Vision Correction Services Around Waukesha, WI

One of the primary eyesight correction methods you’ll discover, is for correcting myopia, which is, in common terms, near-sightedness. Another form of eyesight correction services you’ll see is for correcting far-sightedness or hyperopia – you’ll be able to get rid of glasses for reading. A third kind of Lasik eyesight correction you my see, is for presbyopia, which is an age-related predicament where the lens of the eye becomes less flexible. One more variety of eye sight correction service you might discover, is for the treatment of glaucoma in the appropriate candidates.

What to Look For When Thinking About Getting Eye Sight Corrective Surgery

just about all vision correction laser clinic follow a proven set of procedures for booking in patients, performing assessments, booking surgeries and patient follow-up. Don’t be shy to ask them exactly how their process works. How many patients have they performed the surgery on? Of course, you should ask what type of customer care or patient follow-up they have and if it’s covered in the quoted price. Ask if you’ll need to purchase medications out of pocket. Another thing you should know about is if they’ve had any surgeries that did not turn out the best hoped for. if so, how did they manage the situation? Find out if they have a payment plan. You must also inquire whether the surgery is covered by most insurance. You don’t want a surprise bill afterward. Above all, make sure that you’re comfortable with the business you’re considering making an appointment with.

A Few Steps To Sourcing a Capable Opthamology Clinic

The first thing you’ll need to do is to find out if they’ve got the training, education and the credentials to perform this type of surgery. There should be lots of testimonials from satisfied and happy patients. Another thing you have to do is make sure that they’re available on short notice if you need them – especially if you have an emergency situation. Another thing you ought to do is find out if they’re prepared to take the time to understand your particular situation. And are not impatient with you. Finally, the most important thing is probably that they’re capable of meeting your needs and that you feel comfortable with asking any and all questions. Because you’re not going to have a good experience, if you feel you’re not valued. If you’re at the end of your rope because you’re fed up wearing glasses – you need some peace of mind fast. At Laser Eye Surgery Now you’ll find those options. Guaranteed.

Call Us Today!

Skillful & Experienced Opthamology Doctors Are Difficult to Find in Waukesha – Give Our Specialists a Shout Right Now

Our support staff are very carefully hired to make sure that you’ll get the utmost service, blended with a healthy dose of compassionate care. We’re very reliable in our industry. Developing top notch knowledge can take years of practice. You’re just about ready to book your assessment. There’s no time like the present. You could finally throw away those lousy glasses. We know from our own experiences, it’s a liberating experience to never again have to wear glasses. No matter the need, for added details, give one of our specialists a call to answer your questions. We’re always available in Waukesha. Call Laser Eye Surgery Now today!

State We serve 

Alabama

Hawaii

Massachusetts

New Mexico

Tennessee

Alaska

Idaho

Michigan

New York

South Dakota

Arizona

Illinois

Minnesota

North Dakota

Texas

Arkansas

Indiana

Mississippi

Ohio

Utah

California

Iowa

Missouri

​North Carolina

Vermont

Colorado

Kansas

Montana

Oklahoma

Virginia

Connecticut

Kentucky

Nebraska

Oregon

Washington

Delaware

​Louisiana

Nevada

Pennsylvania

West Virginia

Florida

Maine

​New Hampshire

Rhode Island

Wisconsin

Georgia

Maryland

New Jersey

South Carolina

Wyoming

The post Lasik Eye Surgery – Right Here in Waukesha, WI appeared first on Laser Eye Surgery Now.

from Laser Eye Surgery Now http://www.lasereyesurgerynow.com/wi/lasik-waukesha/

[lasereyesurgerynow]

Lasik Eye Surgery – Right Here in Waukesha, WI

Lasik Eye Surgery – Right Here in Waukesha, WI

Laser Eye Surgery Now is committed to managing several types of problems related to your vision issues and their correction. It’s essential that you find a reputable and highly skilled surgeon in Waukesha, WI. No vision or eyesight challenge is too minor to be examined by our experienced team of lasik surgeons. We have reliable lasik surgeons with the opthamology expertise and skill you’ll need, and using state-of-the-art technologies to correct common eyesight problems. Relax, because it doesn’t matter what your eyesight issue may be, we’re right here to serve you. And, as it suits your schedule. You can find us locally in Waukesha. We can proudly say we provide the most knowledgeable eye assessment and lasik eye surgery doctors in Wisconsin. For more information about our lasik eye surgery services, give us a call. We’re here to serve you at your convenience.

Our Qualified Laser Eye Surgery Staff in Wisconsin Are Among the Finest in The Field – Near You

The training behind our capable lasik surgeons is the finest. It took hundreds of hours of education and experience to achieve the results they do. Every day. And, our lasik eye surgery team can be found in Waukesha. And we understand that you’d like a competent specialist to handle your concern with your deteriorating eyesight and correcting it. So when you’re prepared to deal with your vision issues, you ought to know… We take our patient’s eyesight requirements very seriously, so call us. We’re just a call away.

Call Us Today!

Our Laser Eye Surgery Process Is Executed Thoroughly In Waukesha

Laser Eye Surgery Now are second to none when it comes to correcting vision issues related to myopic or hyperopic vision so you can stop having to wear glasses or lenses. Our highly skilled lasik eye surgery experts rely on techniques that are rigorously tested and approved. Maybe your vision is just a little out of focus or if you’ve been wearing glasses or lenses forever, we can probably get you in for a comprehensive assessment fast. You can rely on our lasik eye surgery price from our pros in Waukesha.

How to Find the Best Vision Correction Clinic In Waukesha, WI

It’s really important to what you wish to achieve, that you select a proven and reliable lasik eye surgery clinic, with doctors who are experts in the type of lasik surgery your eyes require. Whether you’re going to want 0 For certain, you’ll want to employ a laser vision correction team whom you trust. Maybe you don’t understand the importance of taking on a skilled and capable specialist until afterward, when vision problems creep up. Our lasik eye surgery team of doctors are the best experts to offer a comprehensive assessment and a tailor a treatment plan to suit your needs. You’re in great hands, so give us a shout.

Services Qualifications for Laser Eye Surgery Now in Waukesha, WI

Any lasik eye surgery and vision correction team that you call, will probably suggest a comprehensive eye assessment to determine if you’re a good candidate for corrective lasik eye surgery. The best patients for lasik eye surgery are people who have healthy corneas. Lasik eye surgery patients should not have had any eye discease, uncontrolled glaucoma and no residual active eye conditions – like conjunctivitis – known as pink eye. Essentially, if you’re looking for optimal results from corrective lasik eye surgery, the right patient should be in good health with no history of any eye disease, including keratoconus, corneal disease, auto-imune diseases or recurring infections. However, we’d need to do a full examination to determine the condition of your eyes and if Lasik is right for you. You may end up being an ideal candidate! Usually, the results of the comprehensive examination will show that more people than not are a good candidates for corrective vision surgery. With all results, the surgeon will suggest a unique treatment plan to meet your own vision needs based on what the exam indicated.

Laser Eye Surgery Now is dedicated to providing the best customer care and corrective vision expertise in Waukesha. We always promise you that we’ll meet and exceed your expectations of your experience. We know that all customer is very different and for that reason we strive to ensure you’ll have quality services that fit your indivuality and the best experience with our top notch team. And should you decide to go ahead, a competitive lasik eye surgery price as well! Our expertise is proven by our many satisified patients. We offer several ophthalmology services today. Among them, are vision correction with lasik surgery, but we can also fit you with new prescription glasses if it turns out that you’re not a good candidate for surgery. We also offer esthetic procedures to enhance your eyes. And these are just some of our offerings. Read ahead to discover more info on our wide range of corrective eye care services and other eye care offerings, in Waukesha.

Discover More Information About Vision Correction Services Around Waukesha, WI

One of the primary eyesight correction methods you’ll discover, is for correcting myopia, which is, in common terms, near-sightedness. Another form of eyesight correction services you’ll see is for correcting far-sightedness or hyperopia – you’ll be able to get rid of glasses for reading. A third kind of Lasik eyesight correction you my see, is for presbyopia, which is an age-related predicament where the lens of the eye becomes less flexible. One more variety of eye sight correction service you might discover, is for the treatment of glaucoma in the appropriate candidates.

What to Look For When Thinking About Getting Eye Sight Corrective Surgery

just about all vision correction laser clinic follow a proven set of procedures for booking in patients, performing assessments, booking surgeries and patient follow-up. Don’t be shy to ask them exactly how their process works. How many patients have they performed the surgery on? Of course, you should ask what type of customer care or patient follow-up they have and if it’s covered in the quoted price. Ask if you’ll need to purchase medications out of pocket. Another thing you should know about is if they’ve had any surgeries that did not turn out the best hoped for. if so, how did they manage the situation? Find out if they have a payment plan. You must also inquire whether the surgery is covered by most insurance. You don’t want a surprise bill afterward. Above all, make sure that you’re comfortable with the business you’re considering making an appointment with.

A Few Steps To Sourcing a Capable Opthamology Clinic

The first thing you’ll need to do is to find out if they’ve got the training, education and the credentials to perform this type of surgery. There should be lots of testimonials from satisfied and happy patients. Another thing you have to do is make sure that they’re available on short notice if you need them – especially if you have an emergency situation. Another thing you ought to do is find out if they’re prepared to take the time to understand your particular situation. And are not impatient with you. Finally, the most important thing is probably that they’re capable of meeting your needs and that you feel comfortable with asking any and all questions. Because you’re not going to have a good experience, if you feel you’re not valued. If you’re at the end of your rope because you’re fed up wearing glasses – you need some peace of mind fast. At Laser Eye Surgery Now you’ll find those options. Guaranteed.

Call Us Today!

Skillful & Experienced Opthamology Doctors Are Difficult to Find in Waukesha – Give Our Specialists a Shout Right Now

Our support staff are very carefully hired to make sure that you’ll get the utmost service, blended with a healthy dose of compassionate care. We’re very reliable in our industry. Developing top notch knowledge can take years of practice. You’re just about ready to book your assessment. There’s no time like the present. You could finally throw away those lousy glasses. We know from our own experiences, it’s a liberating experience to never again have to wear glasses. No matter the need, for added details, give one of our specialists a call to answer your questions. We’re always available in Waukesha. Call Laser Eye Surgery Now today!

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