#had the longest day and i was just gonna come home and watch shitty reality tv until i fell asleep but this put me in such a better mood
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thinking ab your characters and their hypothetical interests lol
in my head donnie has a baseball card collection worth thousands and is super into old video games
i feel like arthur is super thrifty and takes cool pictures on old cameras
adrian is a star wars fan
leander is really into some random rich people sport
and theo is thee biggest film snob
Oh I LOVE this! You’re so dead on, this is exactly what I would have said. If I can add a few, this is what I think the guys would collect/be into in their everyday lives:
Donnie: baseball cards, the Atari, VHS tapes (think Alien, The Fly, Jurassic Park but also Johnny Dangerously, Flash Gordon, The Last Dragon), Converse in too many different colors, those bobbleheads they give out at baseball games, every drawing and art project his nieces have ever given him, and Motown music (especially Gladys Knight—he can’t hit the high notes in Midnight Train to Georgia, but damn it if he doesn’t try)
Arthur: old sweaters, wool socks, film photography, leatherbound journals (he doesn’t really write in them, he just likes to have them lying around), used books that smell like cigarettes, really shitty coffee, Nick Drake, Mazzy Star, and certain Rolling Stones albums. He has a vintage turntable and displays whatever album he’s listening to on two thumbtacks he’s wrestled into the wall.
Adrian: Star Wars (especially the lost Christmas special, which he inexplicably has a copy of), Arnold Palmers, those boat parades that cross the Puget Sound, soft vintage leather, certain knitwear, Pulp, Seattle sourdough (he’s never tried the San Francisco stuff), disco balls, and rooftop patios. He’s a tricky one to pin down.
Leander: the boy is so into lacrosse. He’s got a friend on a recreational women’s team, and he’s dragged you to probably a hundred of her games. He also loves pontoon boats, though those are reserved for special occasions. See also: aftershave, aran sweaters, David Sedaris (eventually), jazz clubs, walks in the park, long coats, late-night diners, and, oddly enough, Violent Femmes.
Theo: “Spielberg is a genius” and it’s just that scene from ET where the camera pans over a cliff (he’s right and you know it), psychoanalyzing Cronenberg characters, Ralph Lauren, runner’s high, little treats after work, classic romantic literature (E.M. Forster), Dungeons and Dragons, college radio. He also buys every season of The X-Files on VHS as it comes out. He says he likes the psychology of the characters, but you know he’s got such a thing for Agent Scully.
Clark: REM, dancing in the kitchen (not even in a romantic way—like, headbanging to Pixies while he makes pasta), immediately throwing his necktie on the floor when he gets home, noise machines, going to Guitar Center just to “try everything out” (he doesn’t know how to play), that little corner in the record store where you can put on headphones and sample an album. Also Seattle public transportation, even when it sucks.
Also, sweet anon, I did see your other ask! Working on something extra special for ya, hang tight ♥️ I love this kind of prompt, it’s so fun for characterization and I love the opportunity to challenge myself by thinking about what makes these characters different from each other. Thank you so much love!
#toady talkin#anon ask#had the longest day and i was just gonna come home and watch shitty reality tv until i fell asleep but this put me in such a better mood#now i have lots of ideas for your other ask so stay tuned! love ya!
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Sun + Weiss? for the ship thing
Send me a ship and I'll tell you
Who hogs the duvet?
My favorite ooc headcanon for Weiss is that while she is dainty while awake, she absolutely h o g s the bed while asleep starfish style. So Weiss.
Who texts/rings to check how their day is going
I feel like both sun and weiss would! Weiss would probably do it in a more professional manner I suppose, checking in to see if sun slept in or if he had picked up the groceries. Sun on the other hand would definitely just call randomly just to hear weiss' voice <3
Who's the most creative when it comes to gifts
SUN. He'll hit up every little trinket shop in vacuo to get something he thinks would look absolutely beautiful on Weiss. Not to shit on Weiss gift giving skills, but I think she's be more boring about it.
Who gets up first in the morning
Weiss sleeps in whenever she can, so sun is the early bird. He likes it that way tho, he can get up and make them some breakfast before Weiss is even a foot out of bed.
Who suggest new things in bed
Unpopular opinion? Weiss 😈
I think sun would perhaps be a little vanilla but Weiss introduces him to some new things ~
Who cries at movies?
Depends on the movie. A sappy romcom with a happy ending? Weiss. The Titanic? Sun
Who gives unprompted messages?
Sun!
Who fusses over the other when they're sick?
Weiss fusses over sun bc I think he isn't the type to really care about his health much.
Weiss: I told you not to go outside soaking wet like that!
Who gets jealous easiest?
I want to say Weiss but also let's spice it up a bit. I'm gonna say Sun.
He's already slightly insecure of weiss being out of his league, but Weiss always assures him that he's the only one for her no matter what his background.
Who has the most embarrassing taste in music
I feel like both of them would have p normal tastes in music honestly
Who collects something unusual
I feel like weiss would love to collect earrings. That's not unusual but it's alongside suns pretty rock collection.
Who takes the longest to get ready?
Weiss. Hands down.
Who is the most tidy and organized?
Weiss obviously.
Who gets the most excited about the holidays
Sun, imo. I think celebrations have been pretty soured for Weiss due to her family issues but sun will try to make the experience as happy as he can for her.
Who is the big spoon/little spoon?
Most of the time Weiss is the little spoon and sun is the big spoon. But on days sun needs to be held, Weiss has no qualms with taking up the big spoon mantle.
Who gets the most competitive when playing games/sports?
W e i s s. Her competitiveness didn't go away when she made friends, if anything it got stronger.
Who starts the most arguments?
I feel like that would be Weiss. A part of her is afraid of becoming like her parents and it comes out from her probably in not the most healthiest ways when she feels sun is not appreciating her. But they make up quickly, I think.
Who suggests that they buy a pet?
Weiss! She wants a puppy <3
What couple traditions they have?
Always coming back to the place of their first date on their anniversaries. Sun loves to tease her about how nervous she was to be in a cafe in a not-so-well-off part of shade and it always embarrassed Weiss to no end.
What TV shows they watch together?
Shitty reality TV shows, bet.
What other couples they hang out with?
Their friends. Weiss' team and Sun's and their respective partners. Also Weiss' siblings and their spouses jump in from time to time.
How they spend their time together as a couple
I feel like they would be very... Competent with each other. What I mean by that is they have a set system, sun makes breakfast, they go out to eat lunch, Weiss makes dinner, etc. They like to just be in each other's presence. Very comfortable vibes.
Who made the first move
Sun asked Weiss out on a date
Who brings flowers home?
Sun! But weiss will turn it around sometimes and pull out a bouquet from behind her back on sun's birthday. Never hurts to give a man flowers!
Who is the best cook?
I feel like they both learned alongside each other. But they were both shit to begin with.
#sorry for taking so long to answer this i have no excuse other than im lazy lmfao#weiss schnee#sun wukong#ask#sunflakes
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The Three Dilfs plus the Twink Fathers if they had to joint parent the JJK kids.
Gojo
So just be conscious that I imagine the trio to be baby/toddler ages
Definitely the most jealous out of the four.
He won't say it, but hearing about how Yuji had the time of his life with Nanami and how Nobara adores Touji makes his blood boil
But when Megumi gives him those puppy dog eyes, he can't stay mad
So very jealous but also very whipped
The type of dad who tries to act all cool and hip with the kids but in reality is boomer
No clue how to care for a young child though. Rest in pieces, Babygumi.
Really dependant on Getou for the more dirty parts of parenting.
He refuses to change a diaper for the longest time until he does it once when no one is home bc Yuji was crying up a storm and he gets over it
Doesn't baby proof the house. At all.
I'll say it again
Rest In Pieces, BabyGumi.
Doesn't know where kids like to hang out. He takes them to Starbucks and then the mall, where Nobara proceeds to suck his cash directly from his bank account
Toji taught her well, after all.
Gojou has two ways to discipline them- let them see the consequences of their actions and then obnoxiously help them fix it (primarily when the kids were younger) or dangle them off a cliff while singing songs like a cracked out gremlin.
Gojou doesn't need to punish often, since in this universe I've made up he primarily watched over Yuta and Panda, who are nice little ones.
Still insists on kissing them all on the forehead and tucking them in at night
Getou
It takes a while for him to warm up to child rearing
He's still struggling with his "monkey" mentality, and young children are rife for it.
Though maybe as he's watching a baby Nobara sleep, watching carefully the way parents do as though to make sure she breathes through the night, he snuffs out all curses in the area.
After that night, the taste of curses- like a rag, used to clean up vomit- isn't so unbearable anymore.
Not when he feels such conviction in his soul
So slowly, as he holds Yuji's hands to help him take his first steps, as he tells Megumi what "miscellaneous" means, as he shows Nobara how to make cursed dolls...
Monkeys don't seem so bad anymore
But the zookeepers do
If you catch my drift
Getou doesn't believe in physical punishment, but he is a strict parent when it comes to life-decisions
Not in the way you'd expect though.
I.e., if Megumi was torn between leaving the jujutsu world or going to college, Getou would be there to help him find a third solution
And punishment was never his style. Swallow enough vomit-stained rags, you begin to feel disgusted over such things.
Instead, he guides. A distant hand that points in a direction and tells you where it leads.
Also hopeless with what kids like. He let's Yuji wander around Tokyo and whatever catches his eye, Getou suggests.
Nanami
Seems like a distant father at first
But his face is just like that
Genuine sucker for his kids
They have him wrapped around their tiny little fingers
The best out of the three of them with young children
And minors in general
Because- and sit down, this might shock you- he treats them like normal human beings
Nanami didn't have the best childhood, not to mention that many of his close friends didn't either, so taking care of children is something that's very close to his heart
So he likes to keep the kiddos close to his heart too
It made quite a sight, to see Nobara being lugged around in a baby bjorn, drooling all over his jacket while he exorcized curses.
The only parent out of the three mentioned that uses Vicks Vapor rub
If you know you know
Getou is more of a straight medicine kind of guy, and Gojo's never gotten sick in his life.
Nanami definitely got stuck with daiper duty when both Gojo and Getou refused
But he loves them
Tells the three of them that he's proud of them and loves them every chance he gets
Definitely one to have his heart melt when they fall asleep on him.
It's like the rule of cats. He is now legally obligated to stay completely still until the child awakes
That's his initial reaction, but then he remembers his rationality and picks them up and tucks them into bed.
Has definitely slept kneeling on the floor next to Megumi's bed when the boy grabbed his sleeve while sleeping.
Yuji was also a colicky baby, and Nanami found that putting him in a pot of water on the counter was an easy way to get him to be quiet
Nobara was mischevious. The second she could walk, it was over. Nanami burns 500 calories a day chasing her around.
And all of these memories are lovingly stored in his 6,000 baby albums.
Sukuna
Surprisingly good with babies
Extremely good with young children
And very nice with teenagers when he puts his mind to it.
Back in Sukuna's day, in his little social circle, being bad with kids was taboo.
You either are good with kids and love them to death or fuck you
So naturally, Sukuna took the "good with kids" route
He'll say a bunch of bluster about power and ruthlessness if you ask him
But the truth is that he adores children, and wouldn't have put in the effort to be good with them if he didn't already want to.
BabyGumi is such a tsundere with him
Always pouts and looks on the verge of crying when Sukuna is nearby or talking to him, refusing to respond without a wobble in his voice to Sukuna's questions
But the second Sukuna leaves, it's chaos.
He gets all sad and mopey, holding on to the tiger plushie Sukuna gave him like his life depends on it.
Sukuna has learned to just ignore BabyGumi's pouts and teary eyes and cradle the toddler close
And Megumi has no complaints being held in Sukuna's arms
He feels safe there.
The same can not be said for Yuji.
Sukuna scares him, but poor baby gets too distracted with other things when Sukuna is around to remember.
He'll be seated in Sukuna's lap, happily pulling flowers from the ground and giving them to the cursed spirit
And then when Gojo asks him how his playdate with Sukuna was, he bursts into tears and said it was terrifying
Makes for very awkward encounters, as Gojo saw for himself that Itadori was having fun
Nobara loves him
Genuinely wants to get his tattoos one day
And become a powerful sorceror like he was
He gives the best hugs (four arms!!!) So
Always indulges her when she rambles about her cursed dolls
And spoils her rotten.
Touji
Ah yes
The crusty anarchist (affectionate)
Megumi is also a big tsundere bby with this man.
The only one of his fathers he actually projects affection to is Gojo, and that's because Megumi knows his ass is one big jelly bean
As in mushy on the inside, hard on the outside, and very very jealous.
But Megumi will pout and claim not to like anything Touji does
Which really weighs on the man
He knows he's failed Megumi a bunch of times, and knows he deserves to be rebuffed
But it still hurts
Thankfully, Megumi is a sensitive kiddy, and even if he goes too far and Touji completely retreats within himself, Megumi tries to make it right.
Touji is so very whipped for his son.
The slightest bit of love Megumi shows makes his week.
And he's a very gentle father too
Is a staunch advocate against hitting children
His own shitty childhood paired with having a kid as quiet and reserved as Megumi, even if the kid wants to let loose but wont, stresses him out greatly.
Yuji also concerns him
Because he's very innocent, naive, and kind.
Touji knows he's gonna be trampled on.
So he does his best to sort of introduce more darker topics and harsh realities to Yuji without breaking the poor kid.
All in all, he's a depressed, cynical dad, who's trying to give his kids a better life and more tools to survive than he had.
DEFINATELY not the type of parent to hold the child's better life against them.
Tries to be loving, smothers the three kiddos in smoochies and lovingly made meals.
He doesn't really know what he's doing, but he prioritizes the kiddos safety and happiness first and foremost.
But he's definitely not as wealthy or stable as the others, and he knows it.
Whenever Nobara wants to go wander the mall, Touji struggles to swallow his pride every time.
He has the girl set a date, and between that day and the day they need to go to the mall, Touji works his ass off to save up.
He usually only needs to worry about money to keep himself afloat and leisure money for the kids
Since they usually eat at one of the others houses and stay the night there too
Yuji is the one he finds the easiest to be with when money is tight
Yuji doesn't have a habit of asking things from Touji- leftover instincts from when his Grandfather, also poor, took care of him.
So less stress is on Touji to take Yuji somewhere nice when it's just the two of them
Megumi is similar, but not quite.
Megumi isn't really interested in material things or going out to eat very often
But he adores going to temples and being with the monks.
As Touji used to do.
It's bitter and painful to take Megumi to the temple where he used to worship
But he does it.
His love is sacrifice, humility, and acceptance.
But slowly, slowly, he's accepting help from the other dads.
I hope you liked it! This was just a spur of the moment thing, not a lot of hard thought and intricate story telling was put into this, but I hope you enjoyed anyway. This is a mix of my personal headcanons and canon lore, so feel free to drop your own headcanons in the comments!
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#fushigoro toji#fushigoro megumi#ryomen sukuna#gojo satoru#kento nanami#getou suguru#fushigoro touji#gojou satoru#geto suguru#jjk father#jjk headcanons#pine writes#mine
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impression//expression
“It’s not like Kirishima had come all this way to U.A. to immediately break the promise he made to himself upon arrival.
It’s just that Bakugou is as feral as they come, and the moment Kirishima recognizes it’s fear he felt crawling up his spine that day, he makes it his personal mission to face it head-on until it’s gone.”
(Or: Being friends with Bakugou Katsuki is anything but a linear experience. Kirishima Eijirou would have it no other way.)
Tags: Kirishima POV, Developing Friendships, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Provisional License Exam & Aftermath, The Boys Are Fighting And Everything Hurts
Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. Chapter 5. Chapter 6. Chapter 7. Additional content warning for bad communication, emotional breakdowns and general anxiousness. Chapter 9.
***
“Oi. Kiri.”
Another heap of sugar goes into Kirishima’s mug. He stirs a bit, then licks caramel-sweet goodness off the spoon. Perfect. With a content hum, he leans further into the embrace of his favorite armchair.
“Mmyeah?”
Across from him, Bakugou sips his own coffee. Looking all kinds of cozy from his perch by the window, shoes off, U.A.’s uniform narrowed down to just the shirt and pants. Only Iida and Momo have made it down to the common room yet, yawning their way through breakfast with last-minute notes spread out over the kitchen counter.
Their quiet conversation is mere background noise for them. It’s a familiar enough routine that neither duo exchanged more than acknowledging nods before settling into their preferred corners.
Bakugou toes the wood of the windowsill with socked feet, hands calm around his mug. His gaze idles on a group of sparrows outside.
“By this time tomorrow, we’ll be heroes.” Soft-spoken, the words nonetheless sound as solid as ever.
“Provisional ones”, Kirishima reminds him, a mix of excitement and nerves making his leg bounce, the carpet underneath ruffling with the motion. There’s still an exam to pass between then and now. “But still. Licensed and everything.”
“Mh”, Bakugou breathes into his coffee. He sends Kirishima a wry look over its rim. “Nervous?”
Thinking on it for a moment, Kirishima smiles. “Nah, not really. We worked our asses off for it. Like, we totally got this.”
Bakugou’s smirk comes swift and it stays: a dare for the world to do its worst, a promise to come out on top despite it all. Kirishima offers him his fist and Bakugou meets him in the middle, used to the gesture by now. Sparks crackle over rock-hewn skin.
“Damn right we do.”
*
The names flicker on the screen and Kirishima searches.
K, K, Ki, Kiri– There! Kirishima Eijirou.
“Hell yes”, he cheers, the doubts clinging to his heart dropping all the way to his feet. The second he’s got his phone back, he’ll scream-yell a voice message to his moms – finally, finally, Red Riot will exist out there. In reality, not just his wildest dreams.
Automatically, Kirishima jumps to the beginning of the list.
B, Ba, Baku–
Next to him, Bakugou sucks in a breath. That, more than anything, brings his head crashing from the clouds and straight to the ground, to the spot on that list where Bakugou’s name should be but isn’t. Kirishima frowns, his eyes scanning the row starting with B one more time.
“Dude, what…?” No Bakugou Katsuki. “No way.”
One glimpse, that’s all he gets. One glance at Bakugou’s face and that expression Kirishima recognizes from the longest night of his life, that déjà vu of devastation and loss a sucker punch nailing Kirishima right in the gut–
Before he can reach out, it’s gone. Bakugou grits his teeth and juts his chin up, and any trace of it is replaced by anger. Cold, lethal, seeping into squared shoulders and brows drawn deep enough to cast his gaze in shadows.
“Katsu–”
A harsh tch interrupts him, followed by a softer “Congrats, Riot” mumbled in Kirishima’s direction. Bakugou won’t meet his eyes, though, and when Kirishima’s fingers brush Bakugou’s, he crosses his arms instead.
“Thanks”, Kirishima mumbles back, all thoughts of celebrating dead and gone. He doesn’t try to reach out again.
*
1-A spills into the common room as one, smiles and laughter all around. The air previously heavy with anticipation now carries only relief, that clean petrichor taste that follows a downpour at the height of summer.
Despite the stone weight of worry in his stomach, Kirishima laughs along with them. He leans into the lanky arm Sero drapes across his shoulders and returns the fist bump Jirou offers him before Kaminari tackle-hugs the three of them towards the couches.
“Smash tournament! Now!”
“It is our last night off before the new term”, Jirou supplies with a shrug. A thoughtful look is cast towards Bakugou, turning sly as it meets Kaminari’s. “Though, may I propose: Rock Band?”
“Ohhh”, coos Sero, joined by an enthusiastic nod by Kaminari. “Whoo yeah! U.A.’s best fake guitarist, reporting for duty!”
Kirishima loves his friends, he really does. If there’s one thing Bakugou has consistently enjoyed during their hangouts, it’s violently crushing them via the e-drum set he brought from home. That thing shows some serious signs of wear, too, the silicone cover warped or even torn in places.
(The high score list features his name like five times before their resident runner-up – Shouji, surprisingly – even makes an appearance, additional limb advantage and all.)
“I’m in. Wanna duo, Jack?” Jirou gives Kirishima a thumbs-up from where she’s already setting up the microphones. He turns around. “Nitro, you–?”
Bakugou isn’t next to him anymore. Before Kirishima can ask, he hears Mina call out, “Blasty, where are you going?”, and follows the question to Bakugou’s turned back clearly headed for the elevators.
“Room”, Bakugou answers, clipped, rough. The glare he throws over his shoulder might as well be lines of caution tape fluttering in the wind, storm sirens howling in the distance. Keep out. “Have fun playing your shitty game.”
Kirishima sees the hurricane about to hit a second before Mina makes a grab for Bakugou’s wrist, determination shining in black-rimmed eyes. “It’s Rock Band”, she tells him, meeting the snarl on Bakugou’s face with stubborn compassion. “You love Rock Band.”
“What do you know, hah?” Bakugou snaps, tugging away. “Fucking– Get off me!”
Mina’s grip tightens, Bakugou’s hand is raised – familiar, so familiar, that glint of rage in blood-red pupils – and Kirishima is on his feet, pulling Mina behind himself to shield her from an explosion that never comes.
It’s a close call, though. Kirishima feels the heat coming off Bakugou’s palm, the wince he tries to hide when he clenches it to a fist instead.
“This isn’t your fight, Shark Teeth. Back off.”
“Bakugou.”
Firm, resolute. Kirishima’s voice is like volcanic glass: smooth on the surface, jagged around the edges. There’s a warning in there, too, his jaw clenched just as tightly as Bakugou’s. “Not cool, man. Mina’s just trying to help.”
Bakugou huffs at the mere notion of that. “Well, Mina can fuck right off. I don’t need shit from any of you.”
The truth is: Bakugou is different with Kirishima, he’s always been. Even now Kirishima can see him shift his weight, change gears in his mind, the door so firmly shut for others left ajar for him.
Bakugou only listens because it’s Kirishima speaking and he hates it, sometimes. Like his word counts above everyone else’s when it doesn’t, it shouldn’t.
“Look, I get why you’re pissed off but it’s not our fault, either. Alright? There’s no point in acting like this, dude.”
Bakugou’s eyes narrow, that sliver of a chance snuffed out of existence. A vicious sneer takes its place. “Acting like what? Like myself? Give me a break.”
“Guys”, Mina cuts in, sounding meek, uncomfortable. Bakugou doesn’t get to do that, not when he’s proven he’s better than that, time and time again – not when he’s careful with his quirk, when he’s stopped hiding that genuine smile that’s getting less and less rare, when he helps and soothes and pretends not to care and cares so fucking much.
Around them most of the class shuffles along, hovering on the sidelines. Kirishima can feel the looks, the hushed whispers ready to burst into existence, the fidgety sort of concern radiating from Midoriya in waves.
He ignores them all, looking Bakugou dead in the eye when he says: “No, Katsuki, like an asshole. It’s not like you at all.”
Behind him, Mina whispers, “Stop, Kiri, it’s okay.” From the couches come hisses of surprise, a murmured “Woah, dude” that sounds like Kaminari. It doesn’t matter.
What matters is that it hurts. It hurts to see Bakugou flinching like he’s been physically struck. To see emotion spill through the cracks in his armor, cracks Kirishima put there. But Bakugou listens when it’s him, and if there’s one thing he needs to hear, it’s this.
“Like, I get it. I know how it feels, you of all people know that. And extra lessons suck ass, believe me.” Kirishima takes a deep breath, letting go of his anger on the exhale until there’s only resolve, that strength he’s fostered and made his own with Bakugou at his side.
“But lashing out at people won’t fix anything. The stuff holding you back – it’s all you, man, that’s what you gotta work on. You’re the manliest person I know, so you’ll definitely get there, and then you’ll keep going until you’re Number One. There’s not a single doubt in my mind that’s how it’s gonna go. But it’s up to you to make sure it does.”
Bakugou is staring at him, pale-faced and still. He opens his mouth. “You done?”, he asks, his voice ground into something raw, something tired.
“Yeah”, Kirishima tells him, gentle again. “Yeah, I think I am.”
A nod. Bakugou glances past him, for a moment, at the ball of tension behind Kirishima that is Mina. Another nod, more hesitant.
“Blasty, I–”
Without another word, Bakugou leaves, shouldering past Midoriya on his way out. Kirishima watches him go and wonders if doing the right thing always feels so much like regret.
*
I fucked up.
Bundled up in his covers, Kirishima sits on his bed and stares at the wall. The cheerful colors and big exclamation points on his posters are little more than a blur, made obscure by the dark of night settling in around him.
The light switch is just across the room yet impossibly far away. Kirishima’s phone buzzes; the screen comes alive with a notification. It goes ignored.
I fucked up.
Kirishima’s gaze falls to the license in his hands, bland-looking next to the busy camo pattern of his favorite blanket. Red Riot, it says in bold letters under his name, date of birth and affiliation to U.A. – issued today, with the picture they took before they changed into their hero costumes. Himself, grinning with too much teeth, his hair freshly dyed and spiked to the heavens, his uniform done up meticulously.
It feels like a year ago that Bakugou rolled his eyes and fixed his collar, muttering something about ‘looking okay for once’. In turn, Kirishima had nudged and prodded him until he put on his tie, which lasted not one second beyond the flash of the camera.
But–
You done?
The card is small, unassuming, really. Kirishima blinks. One tear, then two pearl over flawless plastic. Three, four, head bowed as they drip, drip, drip down the tip of his nose.
Today wasn’t supposed to go like this. They were supposed to get their licenses, take the night off, sing and laugh and headbang to their audience of pixelated metalheads and forget the world for a while.
It was supposed to be about them, about the dream they shared over coffee this morning. About the future they’re reaching for, together.
Kirishima wants to toss the license to places unknown, wants to tell himself that it means nothing but it does. He waited for this moment longer than he cares to trace back, a long time, definitely. All that hard work, the sweat and blood he shed for it – perhaps it’s only right he adds tears to the mix.
Gods, I fucked up so bad.
He sniffs wetly, sets the card aside. There’s a spot for it in his wallet, he made sure of that as they stepped off the bus. Still, he needs to keep it in sight, like object permanence stops being a thing where one’s hero status is concerned.
Again, buzz buzz, his phone rattles quietly against wood. With a shuddering breath, Kirishima reaches for it, reads Simply Mina and 🦊 Eevee Squad 🦊 and swipes right until his home screen is just Riot’s canine smile again. All it does is remind him of an afternoon spent out in the yard, of a snoring dog and gentle touches to soft fur.
Two taps, and he’s back where he started: Staring at fond, red eyes in the corner and the unanswered messages underneath. Kirishima’s lips start to tremble.
Best Bakubro 💣💥
hey (sent 18:12)
can we talk? (sent 18:12)
i’m sorry (sent 18:30)
i’m so fucking sorry baku idk what i was thinking (sent 18:31)
just. please (sent 18:35)
idk what to do (sent 18:35)
katsuki? (sent 19:01)
The last three are still unread. Kirishima had just calmed himself down from the panicked jolt of blue ticks and grey ticks and Bakugou’s gone when a door had slammed shut hard enough to rattle Kirishima’s desk.
Kirishima wanted to go out there. He wanted to catch up to Bakugou and explain himself and make things right; instead he’d stayed right where he was and listened to his distinct stomp growing more and more faint like the coward he is.
There’s been nothing but silence ever since.
“Stop”, Kirishima whispers, a strangled, pathetic noise amidst the tears sliding down his cheeks. “Just s-stop. Fucking stop.” Tilting his head back, he knocks it against the wall, hoping against all hope that he’ll stop crying, that this shivering, miserable thing in his chest will relent and let him breathe for a bit.
Instead, he clenches his eyes shut and lets out a choked sob. It’s followed by another, another, until Kirishima presses his face into the blanket and gives in.
Hands fisting in loose hair, he curls in on himself, head tucked against his knees and desperately gasping for air. The walls are thick but not that thick – Shouji can probably hear him, if he’s even in, and Kirishima silently begs him to stay away. To be allowed to break in private like he’s done a thousand times before, after every moment he spent frozen in place, every time he didn’t act fast enough or act at all.
Were you scared?
He hadn’t been. For once in his life, Kirishima hadn’t been afraid – he’d been angry, furious even, hopeful and disappointed and worried and he’d fucked up because of it. That moment Bakugou shut up and just… took whatever Kirishima had to say is burned into his brain, aching and tender to the touch. Kirishima can’t stop putting his finger on it, though, like revisiting it will make it sting less, somehow.
It doesn’t.
Time is a fickle concept. Kirishima is aware it passes, he’s aware his blanket is soaked, that his back hurts and his heart hurts and his head, too. He’s back to blankly looking at his wall and seeing nothing, only interrupted by an occasional sniffle, when–
The snap of a lock turning, a door opening and closing, much quieter than before.
A glance to his clock tells him it’s an hour to midnight and way past curfew. The worry he felt earlier rekindles, glows bright enough to overshadow any other emotion swirling within him. It’s not like Bakugou to be up this late. It’s not like him to break rules like this.
It’s not like you at all.
Roughly, Kirishima rubs his arm over his face. Enough crying. Enough hiding away. Bakugou deserves better than public callouts and texts sent in a panic. Kirishima promised himself he’d be better – it’s worth next to nothing if he can’t keep it.
That fact doesn’t prevent his heart from beating half-way up his throat by the time he slips out his door and stands in front of Bakugou’s. His hand shakes as it’s raised to knock; Kirishima wills it to steady and raps his knuckles against wood, mindful of the late hour.
“Bakugou?”
Nothing.
“Listen, I…” Kirishima breathes through the squirming of guilt in his gut. “I messed up, man. I know you’re in there and if you’d rather not see me, that’s fine. But I know I hurt you a-and I want to apologize if… if you’ll let me.”
Wringing his hands, he blinks heavily and wills himself not to tear up again. Bakugou has every right to shut him out; it’s up to Kirishima to do what he should’ve done in the first place and respect his wishes.
It’s a reality he doesn’t have to face, however – the knob turns and the door cracks open the slightest bit. When it doesn’t move beyond that, Kirishima pushes for it to open further, sticking his head through the gap.
“Nitro?”
Silhouetted by his bedside lamp, Bakugou is tossing up his covers to properly burrow inside them. “Get your ass in here already”, he says over his shoulder, a bite to his tone Kirishima recognizes from their early days. “And close the door. It’s fucking late.”
He practically jumps to the task. “Okay, yeah, sorry!” Once the door clicks shut, Kirishima shuffles his feet, wanting to get closer but unsure if he’s allowed. Carefully, he makes his way over and stops, half a step in the circle of light cast around Bakugou’s bed.
“So. Um…” His hand brushes red strands behind his ear. His palms are sweaty. “I–”
“Did you mean it?”
Bakugou doesn’t even sound angry; Kirishima would definitely deserve it if he was. He’s unsure if that no-bullshit edge is any better, though, swallowing heavily. “Yeah. Well, kinda. The– the words were right but…” He clenches his hands to fists, brings his gaze up to look at him.
Kirishima’s eyes widen. The rest of that sentence flees from his mind entirely.
“What…?”
Scrapes, bruises, gauze stuck to both cheeks, bandages wrapped around both arms. Back to the wall, legs loosely crossed in front of him, Bakugou looks like he went a round or five with a superpowered bobcat, dried blood clinging to some of the many scratches on his skin.
Yet his eyes are focused, pinning Kirishima with the same precision with which he handles everything in life. “But?”
“Bakugou! What happened?!”
“Picked a fight.” A sharp sniff. Bakugou shrugs like he couldn’t care less. “‘s none of your business. Answer my question.”
Ouch. Kirishima doesn’t linger on that, he can’t, too busy mentally cataloguing the damage and trying not to drag Bakugou to the infirmary ASAP. Which–
“We gotta– Recovery Girl. She’ll heal you right up.”
Bakugou huffs a laugh, no humor in it whatsoever. “Already went. It’s done. Answer the fucking question, Kirishima.”
It’s incredibly hard to unstick his mind from whatever the hell happened there. Like a wrestling match with his own thoughts, struggling to get them on the wrong set of tracks despite his brain frantically gesturing towards Bakugou.
Kirishima rubs his palms over his face, pats his cheeks none-too-gently for good measure. Focus.
“Right. Yes, I meant what I said. It’s– Mina isn’t me, Baku. She can’t take your anger like I can, okay? They… they were just trying to cheer you up and you were out of line. But–”
Bakugou’s gaze isn’t letting him go, intense like they’re mid-battle and he’s trying to figure out Kirishima’s next move. Guard all the way up. Kirishima drops his hands, wide open.
“Your day was already crappy enough without me putting you on the spot like that. You said you wanted to go and I forced you to stay and deal with even more stuff because I was angry and worried and… Yeah. I went about it all wrong and I’m sorry.”
Those damn tears are lurking at the corners of his eyes, itching and burning but Kirishima fights them off. He nods to the ground.
“I really let you down. That’s all I wanted to say.”
Kirishima waits. For a moment that feels eternal, he stands there with his head bowed and his fingers clinging to the edge of his shirt. He fully expects to be met with silence until he gets the memo and leaves.
Then Bakugou sighs.
“You look like hell, y’know that? Your eyes are all puffy and shit.”
Wincing, Kirishima nods again. “I know.” He peeks up through the gaps in his hair.
Bakugou huffs, exasperated and so much more like himself. “Don’t give me that. I’m still pissed at you.”
There. A chance. All it takes is a leap of faith. “But?”, Kirishima asks quietly.
“But nothing, fucker. I’m pissed, full stop.” A glower that would make a quirked-up Aizawa proud. Bakugou crosses his arms; Kirishima ducks his head. “You’re lucky you’re you or I’d have kicked your ass straight to whichever place stupid potato dogs like you go to when they die.”
Don’t laugh. Kirishima bites his lip. Half a second later, a pillow smacks his shoulder with impressive force.
“Shut up. I got it, okay? I know I’m”, a pause filled with teeth grinding audibly, “difficult, I guess. And an asshole. I know all that.”
The urge to laugh is replaced by a shot of vertigo, like Kirishima missed a step down a flight of stairs. Their eyes meet, and Bakugou glares.
“It’s what you said. Don’t you dare take it back now.”
“But that’s not what I mea–”
“Tough shit, bitch, ‘cause that’s what I got from it. It’s fine, okay? If someone’s gonna call me out on my bullshit it’s gotta be you. It’s just–”
Bakugou drops his hands in his lap, staring at the bandages running up to his elbows. There are blisters on his right palm, visible even in the half-dark.
“Not in front of everyone?”, Kirishima offers in a small voice.
A tense breath. “Yeah. Makes me wanna blow up and lose my shit for real.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You already said that. I told you it’s fucking fine.”
“But–”
“Eijirou.”
Kirishima’s heart squeezes. Bakugou looks so exhausted and it’s all his fault. Still, he mumbles, “Okay”, and he wordlessly swears on everything he holds dear that he’ll listen, next time. That he’ll trust Bakugou to do the right thing and stay in control.
“Okay.” Bakugou’s eyes are on him again, less heavy now. “I don’t wanna talk about the fight, either.”
Kirishima’s hands clench, not tight enough to rip into the fabric but close enough. “At all or…?”
“Not sure yet. Definitely not tonight.”
“Okay”, Kirishima repeats. It’s not forever. He can handle anything if it’s not forever. “Um. Are we cool? I get it if… not. I can leave, too. Whatever you want.”
Unexpectedly, Bakugou groans, almost… amused? “Screw you. I should be milking the fuck outta this but… Yeah, we’re cool.”
Oh. Kirishima can’t help the way his resolve wobbles with how relieved he is, keeping his shaky inhale as stealthy as possible. He fucked up and his best friend doesn’t hate him. They’re gonna be okay.
“Kiri…”
There’s a strange expression on Bakugou’s face, pinched and frustrated-looking. His eyes are soft, though. Concerned. “Stop crying, you big baby. C’mere. And bring my pillow, I actually need it.”
Kirishima keeps it casual. He grabs the pillow and pads over instead of running. He tosses it in Bakugou's lap, earning a grumbled, “Thanks.”
Almost casual. There’s an attempt, at least, chucked right out the window the second Bakugou sort-of-maybe-kind-of indicates the possibility of a hug. Then he’s throwing himself on the bed, the sight of raw skin and gauze-white turning his tackle into a marginally gentler embrace of Bakugou’s shoulders.
Bakugou squeezes back, brutally tight. “Hold back on me again and I’m kicking you out.”
A wheeze of breath turns into hushed laughter. “I’ll do better.” Kirishima tucks his face against Bakugou’s neck and sniffles. “I’ll be good, Nitro, I swear.”
Bakugou knocks their heads together, too gentle to even register as that. His lips against Kirishima’s temple, he mumbles, “You already are, idiot. One dumb mistake won’t change that.”
>>Chapter 9.
#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha#mha#bakugou katsuki#kirishima eijirou#kiribaku#bnha fanfiction#this fic is also on AO3!!#baku is soft - a longfic#my stuff
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Shigaraki Week: Day 4
*chanting* Big brother Jin big brother Jin big brother Jin big brother Jin-
This is extremely late, but I’m determined to finish this week no matter how late! Sorry though xD
Balloon/Gloves?/AU
@shigarakiweek
“Shut up…” The boy mumbled, to no one in particular. Jin sighed as he slumped through the streets, no one bothering to give him a second glance. Why would they? Aside from the scar on his forehead, which was currently hidden by a maroon hoodie, he didn’t stand out amongst the crowd. Just another lost soul, just another highschool dropout slumping through the crowd.
“Shut up!” He said, a bit louder this time. He got a few stares, but no one said anything. They all walked away. Why did they always walk away? No one ever asked if he was okay. No one cared about the boy who had lost it all.
“I really need to get a mask.” He said, sighing. “Would that even help? It might just make it worse!” the other voice spoke. Jin gulped, rushing into an alley. He didn’t want to break out, not in the middle of a crowd. The hoodie on his head was helping him keep it in, but it wasn’t enough.
“Shut up.”
“But I don’t wanna! You shut up!”
“It hurts..make it stop…”
“No, it’s fine! Completely fine, what are you talking about?”
“No!”
“Yes!”
Jin pulled the hoodie down tighter, screaming as he managed to calm himself down. Okay, the hoodie clearly wasn’t helping as much as it did before. Was this getting worse? That wasn’t good. None of this was good. But then. What was good? Did good even exist? He groaned, knowing that he made no sense.
“Um…”
Jin turned around immediately, eyes widening at the sight of a small child. He looked around 5, with dull red eyes and dirty gray hair. The boy shivered.
“I didn’t know you were here lil guy.” He said, bending down a little. “Sorry ‘bout that, I talk to myself ofte-” He cut himself off seeing blood on the boy’s face.
“Kid? What happened to you?”
The boy only blinked. His face was pale, like a ghost. It was dry and covered in scratches, not to mention both dried and fresh blood.He looked like one of those creepy children from a horror movie, but Jin didn’t care at the moment. He’d seen enough horror in his life not to be scared of this. Plus, he was too concerned about the boy.
“Kid?”
“...know…”
“Know? Sorry, I can’t hear what you’re saying.”
“...I dunno.” The boy mumbled, most likely answering Jin’s question of what happened to him. Did he not remember?
“Okay...do you know where your family is?”
“...no.”
“So you’re alone?”
“...yes.” The quiet, raspy voice whispered. Jin was concerned about how a child’s voice could be so raspy. It was unusual. Then again, finding a creepy looking little boy with an unknown background might be unusual as well.
“How old are you?” The boy held up five fingers. Five, okay he was right.
What was he supposed to do now? He couldn’t just leave him, of course not. If Jin were to walk away, who else would help? A hero? Would a hero even find him? He didn’t want to take any chances. He could go to the police, but then they’d want to know about him too. Jin wasn’t exactly the most...legal person. Let’s put it at that. Would it be possible to drop the kid off and go? The heroes...they’d take care of him, right? Make sure he was okay and all?
“The heroes are bullshit, they’ll fail him like they failed us.” He thought aloud. For once, his other side seemed to agree, The heroes didn’t do anything before, what would make this one kid so special to them?
“Bullshit.” The kid said. Jin’s eyes widened in a panic.
“Fuck, did I say that out loud?” Not helping Jin, not helping.
“Fuck?” The kid spoke, tilting his head confused. Jin made an x with his arms, rapidly shaking his head no.
“Wait no! Those are bad words, you shouldn’t say them!” Great, he had only a few minutes with this kid and already taught him two curse words. Nice going.
“Bad words?” The kid tilted his head.
“Yes, very bad words! I shouldn’t have said them, that’s my fault. I’m a bad example, please don’t take after me.” He exclaimed. The boy giggled.
“You’re funny.” He said, through soft laughter. Jin smiled at him, heart warming up at the little giggles. It looked almost scary, coming from the mouth of what looked like an enlarged haunted doll, but he found it endearing.
“I’ll take that as a compliment. How dare you? I’m not funny at all!” Jin groaned, as the boy tilted his head.
“Sorry kiddo, that happens a lot. What’s your name? ” The kid furrowed his eyebrows as if he was thinking really hard. Like he couldn’t remember his own name.
“...Tenko.” He finally said. “It’s Tenko.” Tenko, huh? That was an unusual name.
“Tenko? Okay, I’m Jin. Nice to meet you, lil buddy.” He held out a hand towards him. Tenko tilted his head, tapping the middle of Jin’s palm with his pinky. Jin laughed.
“It’s supposed to be a handshake, but I’ll take that.” The boy giggled as Jin reached down to ruffle his hair. It was greasy, as to be expected.
“How long have you been out here?” Tenko shook his head slightly.
“Don’t know. More than a day.” Jin suspected that, seeing how he looked.
“Well, let’s get you cleaned up, okay?” He could figure out what to do about this later. Right now he needed a bath. He picked Tenko up, noticing how the boy clenched his fist and pressed them against his chest. Jin sighed, walking to the shitty apartment he called home.
-----------------------------
“You really like bubbles, huh?” Jin chuckled, as he washed the other’s hair. Tenko nodded, making a bubble beard.
“They’re pretty and they feel nice. They smell nice too.” He murmured, splashing in the bath. Jin nodded with a soft smile. That was the longest he’d heard him speak, consecutively.
“Yeah, I think so too! No, bubbles are the worst!”
“Don’t listen to the deeper voice, kay? He’s wrong. No, I’m not, take that back! Shut up!” Tenko giggled at the little exchange.
Jin wondered how long he had actually been out there, his hair was so dirty. It looked dark gray before, but after rinsing it out Jin could see it was white, with a light bluish tint. And he had multiple wounds that he treated earlier. Poor child. Something about the kid reminded Jin of himself, he was so alone. No one reached out to help him.
He eventually finished washing his hair, drying it with a towel and helping Tenko into clean clothes. He was lucky he kept all of his old stuff from when he was younger. It was still big on the boy, since he was so small. Now, to think about what to do.
He couldn’t possibly raise a kid on his own, what was he thinking? Hell yeah, he could! Tenko was free to stay as long as he liked. But would he be able to take good care of him? He was only 16, and a dropout at that. Of course he would, he was good with kids. No he wasn’t! He barely had any interactions with them. And he was already broke, how could he afford for a tiny human? Not to mention he wasn’t the best example with his not so legal activity. What? He never did anything illegal in his life! Yes he did! Jin took on a lot of odd jobs. Jobs he didn’t want Tenko to know of. But what else could he do? Take him to the police? Yeah, actually. No way, they’d treat him like garbage! An unidentified kid with what seemed like amnesia, what could they do for him? Put him in foster care? The foster care system is trash! Did he really want Tenko going from home to home like that? He’s a sweet kid, there’s no way he wouldn’t get adopted at some point. He was adorable. He looks like a horror movie character. I mean, he couldn’t deny that entirely, but the kid was still cute! Like an opossum. Opossums are cute. They’re nasty. No they aren’t! How dare-
His thoughts were interrupted by a tap on the back of his hand. Tenko was giving him a concerned look.
“...ling…kay?”
“What was that, kiddo? Sorry, I couldn’t hear ya.”
“...You were mumbling, are you okay?” He asked, quietly. Jin blinked.
“Ah sorry, I didn’t realize. M’ alright, don’t worry about me.” He replied, ruffling the other’s hair. Tenko let out a small giggle. Maybe this would be okay. He still wasn’t sure what to do, maybe he’d take him to the police tomorrow? Yeah, that sounded good. He could at least get the kid a proper meal and some rest before taking him there. This would be okay.
It’s strange how the second you think that, the situation flips.
Jin didn’t take the kid’s quirk into account, he was too worried about the kid himself. He realized that was a big mistake as Tenko grabbed the towel to dry his hair more. Within seconds, it decayed. Decayed. Just crumbled into gray dust, laying beside his feet. Jin watched, too shocked to say anything, as Tenko’s smile morphed into a horrified expression. He only snapped back to reality when the other let out a bloodcurdling shriek.
“Tenko-” He cut himself off, seeing cracks begin to form in the ground. What? Destruction...it had to do with his quirk for sure.
Tears started to fall down Tenko’s face as his breathing increased. The poor kid was shaking so much it looked like he would fall over.
“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean...Hana…Mon…” He murmured in between sobs. Tenko scratched his neck. It itched. It itched so much. The cracks spread, as Jin snapped back to his sentences.
“Tenko, hey, it’s okay.” He muttered, trying to get closer to the boy without getting hurt himself. He winced, seeing the bleeding scars forming on the kid’s neck.
“Mom…” The boy mumbled, tearing at the skin on his neck.
“Hey, Tenko! It’s okay, just breathe. It’ll be okay.” Jin said, gently taking his wrists away from his neck. He crouched down, to be at level with him. The boy continued to sob.
“Hey, it’s gonna be alright. Breathe, okay? In and out. Deep breaths.” Jin took deep breaths as well, to demonstrate. Tenko nodded lighty, copying him as he calmed down. The cracks in the ground seemed to slowly come to a stop.
How did that happen? Was it touch based, since he touched the towel? He touched Jin’s hand earlier, even if it was one finger...was a certain amount of fingers needed? And if that was the case, why did the floor start to crack? Maybe it gets worse depending on his emotional state? Did that even make sense? Of course it did! Jin decided to go with that then. So a certain number of fingers? Hm…
He looked down to see Tenko sniffling. The violent sobbing had ended, but he looked so scared it pained Jin’s heart.
“Gone…”
“What was that, buddy?” Tenko shook a little.
“Grandma, Grandpa...Father...Gone.” His arms struggled a little against Jin’s hands, as if he was trying to break free to scratch his neck again.
“Turned to dust.”
Dust? Dust, just like the towel?
Wait that means he…
Jin gulped, trying not to think of it. It couldn’t have been the kid’s fault, after all. It was probably an accident, poor thing. It definitely explained why he was in an alley alone. He was glad he at least knew the other’s quirk, he had to be careful.
Wait, what would happen if he took him to the police now? Sure, he was five, but he killed his entire family...they wouldn’t hurt him, right? Of course they wouldn't! He's five for god’s sake, they have to have at least a lil bit of decency! The system is messed up. True, but to do anything to such a small child… It was inhumane. Of course it is! So maybe they wouldn’t. They aren’t going to do anything big obviously, but they might hold him somewhat responsible. They can’t! They don’t care. They should! But they don’t. Maybe they will? Don’t try to justify those jerks!
“I’m not justifying them!” He yelled. He blinked, seeing Tenko flinch from the sudden noise.
“Wait, Tenko, I didn’t mean to...I’m sorry.” He said, sighing. He looked at the kid who only nodded.
“Here, let me bandage your neck. It’s bleeding, those could get infected.” Tenko nodded slightly, watching the other take out the bandages and medicine again.
As he treated his wounds, Jin had an idea. “Hey hold your hand out for a second.” Tenko tilted his head but did as he said. Jin wrapped his pinky and index finger with bandages, smiling as he tied it.
“Ta da! You can now touch things without your quirk being effective.” Tenko blinked, reaching slowly to touch a bar of soap on the counter. Nothing happened. Jin chuckled at the sudden sparkle in his eyes.
“Gimme your other hand, I need to do it on both.” Tenko happily obliged, humming a tune he could barely recall as Jin finished with his hands. It was weird how his mood changed so quickly, but Jin chose to ignore it. At least he was feeling better.
“Okay buddy, look, I...I’m going to have to take you to the police station. They’ll...they’ll help you okay?” Jin didn't mind getting a few years in juvie if he had to, the kid needed to be okay. He was attached already dammit.
Tenko’s eyes widened. “Y-you’re leaving?” His voice quivered in a way that made Jin just want to hug him.
“No no no, I mean technically yes, but I’m taking you where they’ll help you-” He cut himself off seeing Tenko’s eyes start to water again. How dare he make him cry! How dare anyone make him cry! Well what was he supposed to do? Comfort him, duh! Fucking dipshit. Jin gulped, slowly putting an arm around him.
“Don’t leave…stay...please...” He whimpered. Jin never knew how weak he was to puppy dog eyes until that moment.
Goshdarnit.
“Okay, okay, I won’t leave. I’ll stay.” He said, smoothing his fluffy hair. “I’m here.” Tenko pouted a little.
“You won’t leave me?”
“Of course I won’t!” Jin said, hugging him. That caused the little one to smile.
“Thank you…”
“You’re welcome kiddo.” Jin picked him up, sighing as he took him out of the bathroom.
“Everyone watched.” The boy began. Jin raised an eyebrow at him. “No one...no one helped me. They all said a hero would come help. You helped. Thank you. Thank you for not leaving.” He mumbled, wrapping his arms around Jin’s neck. Jin felt anger creep up his neck, how could anyone just ignore a small child covered in blood?
“...I wanted to be a hero.” He spoke, in such a quiet voice Jin might’ve not heard it.
“Hm?”
“I wanted to be a hero. But I can’t. I’m too weak, and I look like a villain.”
“Who said that?” Jin asked.
“Kids at school. They picked on me all the time. Said my scars made me look like a villain.” He huffed, pouting. Jin thought it was adorable, although he was mad at the kids for picking on him. How could anyone be mean to this little angel?
“No one just looks like a villain. Look here.” Jin pointed to his own scar, running down the middle of his forehead.
“See? I have scars too! It’s okay to have scars, it doesn’t make you any less heroic. And for the record, I don’t think you’re weak. You’re actually super strong to be able to handle so much!” Tenko’s eyes went wide, sparkling like rubies.
“Really?” There was so much excitement in his voice. So much hope.
“Of course! I think you’ll make an awesome hero, Tenko.” Jin replied. Suddenly, he got an idea.
“Hey, want to go to the store with me? I want to show you something.” Tenko’s eyes burned with curiosity but he nodded.
------------------------------------------------------------
“Tenko, it’s winter. If you get ice cream, you’ll be even colder.” The small boy pouted.
“It looks so good...”
“No.”
Jin winced as Tenko gave him those goshdarn puppy eyes.
“Tenko...okay, maybe not ice cream, but I’ll get you a cinnamon roll.” That’s cannibalism! Shut up. “That’s good, right?”
Tenko’s eyes lit up as he nodded.
“Alright, alright, I’ll get you one on the way back. We’re going somewhere after all.” He said, chuckling as he pulled the boy along, past the ice cream shop. Tenko was wary of holding his hand at first, but the bandages were taking effect. Jin hadn’t decayed yet.
He walked into the store, as Tenko gaped at everything in it. The scarlet eyes boy looked up, everything was so big around him. He tried to peek over the counter as Jin talked to the clerk. She was filling a balloon. A balloon? Was that why they were here? Tenko looked at Jin, pouting slightly. Why were they getting a balloon?
The store clerk giggled. “Aw, is that your little brother? He’s so cute!” Jin blinked, before smiling sheepishly.
“Y-yeah. He is.” Jin wasn’t sure if he agreed that Tenko was his brother, or that he was cute. He decided on both.
They walked out of the store, Jin holding a plain white balloon and a sharpie. They walked until they reached a small area of flat land, not too far from the store.
“When I was little, m’ mum said if you wrote your wish on a balloon and sent it into the sky it’d come true.” he whispered.
“You want to be a hero right? Let’s write it on this balloon, and you can send it into the sky. That way it’ll come true for sure!” Tenko nodded eagerly, magma eyes glowing.
Jin steadied the other’s hand, helping him trace out the letters. Tenko didn’t know how to write entirely, but that was okay. Jin could help him.
He put the string in Tenko’s grasp, after the words “I want to be a hero” were written.
“Now, just say it mentally and let go. It’ll fly to the heavens, and the angels will grant your wish.” Tenko nodded, bowing his head as if he were praying. Then, he gently let go of the balloon, letting it fly into the vast blue sky. They stared after it, until it was out of sight.
“Don't worry, you’ll get your wish, I’m sure of it.” Jin said, picking Tenko up.
“Are you a hero?” That question snapped him out of his thoughts.
“...what?”
“Are you a hero?” Tenko repeated, eyes lighting up a little. “They said a hero would help. You helped.” Jin sighed.
“No, I’m not a hero. Not even close to it. Sorry to disappoint you, kid.” He said.
“You’re a hero to me.” Jin raised an eyebrow.
“What do you mean?”
“Heroes...heroes help people. You helped me. That makes you a hero!” Tenko said, eyes shining with childish innocence. It made Jin laugh.
“You think so?”
“Mhm! You’re a hero, like All Might! You’re the best hero!” Jin laughed again, ruffling his hair.
“I’ll take that as a compliment. Thanks, kiddo.” Jin smiled softly, holding the boy as he looked out the window.
“Hey, Tenko?”
“Mm?”
“By that logic, you’re a hero too.” Ruby eyes sparked in confusion.
“Huh???”
“You are!”
“How???”
“You helped me.”
“How???”
“Hm, you just did.” Jin laughed again. How long had it been since he’d laughed this much?
“C’mon let’s go get your cinnamon roll. There’s a bakery nearby.”
They weren’t so different, were they? Two boys, abandoned by society. Two boys everyone ignored. Two boys that everyone said the heroes would help.
Two boys that were going to help each other, despite their scars. Despite it all.
Bonus because I want more fluff:
“Nii-chan! Nii-chan, nii-chan!” A scratchy voice squeaked. Jin looked up from the floor, only to be tackled by a ball of pure energy.
“Tenko, that was dangerous! I could’ve dropped my coffee! Tenko, there’s my little boy!” he reprimanded, yet cheered. But he couldn't stay mad as the teen let out a lighthearted laugh.
“I only do it because I know you’ll always catch me. Anyways, guess what?” Jin could tell exactly what it was from the smug look on his brother’s face, but he chose to play along.
“Hm, what is it?” Tenko broke out into a large grin.
“I got into UA!”
“Really? Congrats, I’m so proud of you! Hell yeah! What place did you get? If it’s in the top five then Giran owes me 5k yen!” He exclaimed, putting his coffee down as he lifted the boy up and spun him around. Tenko was extremely light, despite his age.
“Hey hey, put me down!” He squawked, flailing like a magikarp as Jin spun him a few times. He finally put the boy down, chuckling at the grumpy expression on his face.
“Alright, alright. Still, I’m proud of you Ten. Good job.” He let a face splitting grin cross his face, one that many people saw as creepy. But to Jin, it was just the smile of his amazing lil bro.
“Hah, just wait until I show Touya, Shu, and Himi! And Touya’s dad. He said, I couldn’t do it, huh? Think again, bitch!” He shouted, giggling.
“Now, what did I say about swearing?” Tenko rolled his eyes.
“But you do it all the time!”
“That’s my other personality, so technically it doesn’t count. Yeah, what he fucking said!”
Tenko sighed, laughing a little. “Whatever. Anyways, wanna celebrate? We can invite the others too!”
“Of course! I don’t know, did you finish your chores? Don’t mind me, I’m letting you take a day off today. What!?! Shut up, he deserves it. I hate that you’re right, or rather that I’m right…”
“Good, because I completely forgot to do them.” He laughed. “Looks like the balloon wish did come true though! I’m going to be the best hero someday, and when I do, I’ll help people just like you helped me. I’ll also make a lot of money, so you can take it easy!” Jin took several part time jobs in order to make enough money for both of them. But Tenko was determined to do his best, so his big brother could sit back and relax.
“Alright, alright. C’mon, I made ohagi. We can figure out how we’re going to celebrate after we eat.” Tenko nodded, pausing before running to the table.
“Last one there is a rotten egg!”
“Hey that’s not fair, you got a head start! Get back here you little shit!”
Yeah, they would be okay.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
In loving memory of Jin Bubaigawara
#i just want them to be happy okay#this may or may not be my way of coping after what happened#shigarakibirthdayweek#shigarakiweek#shigaraki bnha#twice bnha#bnha twice#shigaraki tomura#tomura shigaraki#mha#bnha#jin bubaigawara#bubaigawara jin#bnha tomura#bnha shigaraki#big brother twice#bnha au#Luna tries to write
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i’ll be good pt. nine | j. hughes & t. zegras
❀ ⇢ requested: yes | no ❀ ⇢ word count: 2.6K ❀ ⇢ a/n: i can’t believe the end of this series is finally here. this has been my longest series to date and to actually finish it is just insane. i might end up posting a bonus part/epilogue but idk yet. anyway, i just want to say thank you to everyone who has followed i’ll be good and i couldn’t be more amazed by the positive feedback it’s gotten. i hope this ending doesn’t disappoint!
having a crush on one person was confusing enough. now throw in one of their teammates and you weren’t sure where that left you anymore.
⇢ posted: 05.11.19 . | . masterlist prev. | next.
“We’re going out for a bit, want to come?”
Rolling over, you shifted the covers down far enough to look at your mom. You pondered the decision for a few seconds, staring at her head peeking in through the cracked door.
“I think I’m gonna stay here,” you told her, words muffled.
She hesitated in the doorway before sighing. “We’ll bring back food,” she smiled sadly, retreating and closing the door behind her.
Letting out a sigh, you burrowed back into the blankets. You were grateful that she was being so understanding, but that didn’t stop you from wishing it wasn’t necessary in the first place.
Closing your eyes, you fought back a fresh wave of tears at the thought. How long was it going to hurt like this? Why weren’t you enough for him?
You groaned loudly, cutting off your train of thought. Distantly, you registered the sound of the front door being closed signaling that you were alone. Shifting again, you stared up at your ceiling blankly. You could probably go back to sleep for another few hours—it was the weekend so you didn’t have to worry—
Your phone buzzed on your nightstand. Head falling to the side to stare at it, you debated if you even wanted to see who texted you. Why bother, you know? Like, did you really want to talk to anyone right now?
Not particularly, but curiosity won out as you stretched your arm to grab the offending object. Settling onto your side, you winced at who it was that sent it. It wasn’t that you were embarrassed that he was the one you called and cried on the phone to—
Wait—no. That’s exactly what it was.
Yea, he comforted you and said that it was fine but what else was he supposed to say? Blowing out a harsh breath, you decided to get it over with.
‘where are you? we need to talk’
Heart seizing up at the phrasing, you slowly typed out a reply.
‘at home in bed. family’s out rn. why do we have to talk??’
God, you hope this wasn’t him telling you that you couldn’t be friends anymore or some shit like that. One guy dumping you was enough heartbreak; you didn’t need another one adding to it.
‘nothing bad dw is it cool if i come over?’
You tried to ignore the way your heart sped up. Sending back a reply telling him that it was okay, you found the energy to get out of bed for the first time all day. Managing the bare minimum of your usual morning routine was nothing short of an accomplishment, no matter how sad the fact was.
It was only the thought of not wanting Jack to see you as a complete mess that got you going, but still. Progress.
After unlocking the door and sending Jack a text letting him know to just walk in—because what can go wrong there, right?—you made your way back upstairs.
Flopping down onto your bed, you sullenly scrolled through a few different apps to calm your nerves. Seriously, who tells a girl who literally just got broken up with that they need to talk? What do they need to talk about? In person?
The entire thing wasn’t giving you the best of feelings, but whatever. Might as well get some more bad news when you’re already down.
Right as you were finally calming down, Jack sent you a text saying that he was only a few minutes away.
Great, this was going to go great. Totally fine.
Oh god, was he gonna make a move? It hadn’t occurred to you but if he did—
No. No, he wouldn’t. That would be a whole new level of shitty. And even if he did, you weren’t going to just jump into things with him. That’d be so bad. No, new rule. Teammates are off limits.
Actually, hockey players in general. Who needs them? And dating? Not you, that’s for sure.
So lost in your thoughts, you nearly had a heart attack when the door downstairs opened.
“Y/N?” Jack’s voice yelled.
Cursing under your breath, you forced to calm down. “Bedroom,” you called back, pulling your legs up to sit cross-legged.
Fingers fidgeting, your breathing sped up before you worked on calming down again. You listened as Jack made his way upstairs—why did it sound like two pairs of—?
“Hey,” Jack appeared in your doorway, offering you a nervous smile.
You returned the greeting, tilting your head. “So what exactly did we need to talk about in person?”
“Uh, yea. You see, it isn’t just us that need to talk,” he trailed off, watching you with wide apologetic eyes.
Not understanding, you were about to ask when he stepped into the room. The words died in your throat when another figure stepped into sight.
“What the hell,” you sputtered, a whirlwind of emotions exploding inside of you at the sight of your bo—ex-boyfriend.
At least they both had the decency to look shamefaced, you mused to yourself as you sprung up off your bed.
“What the hell,” you repeated, unsure on who to round on.
“I told you this was a bad idea.”
You spun toward Trevor at the sound of his voice, ignoring how despondent it was and how your heart felt like it was breaking all over again. But then his words registered and you were marching at Jack.
“Wha—you brought him here?” you demanded, betrayal clear as day in your voice.
He backed away, hands in the air until he hit your dresser. “We need to talk about everything,” he tried, eyes wide in fear.
Pushing down the hurt, you shook your head bitterly.
“What’s there to talk about? He–“ you gestured at Trevor who had taken an awkward stance “–broke up with me. There’s nothing to talk about. And since there’s nothing to talk about, I want both of you out.”
“Y/N, stop,” Jack pleaded, grabbing ahold of your hands. “You and I both know there’s a lot we need to talk about—shit we should’ve just talked about a while ago.”
“We all fucked up,” Trevor cut in before you could respond. Going quiet, you refused to look at him and swallowed roughly. “And everything got out hand. I found out about you and Jack almost kissing and instead of just talking to you, I thought it would be better for all of us if I broke up with you—don’t look at me like that, I know it wasn’t the best idea now.”
A snort left you against your will, a small smile gracing your features before you caught yourself. “Yea, it was a pretty shit idea, man. You should’ve seen that,” Jack interjected quickly, shrugging innocently at Trevor’s glare but flashing you a smile when he heard your quiet laugh.
“I never claimed I had good ideas, okay?” Trevor attempted—maybe?—to defend himself.
“Can say that again,” you muttered under your breath, sniggering with Jack who heard your comment.
“Rude.” Trevor pointed at you in offense. Brought back to reality, you plopped yourself down on your bed.
“We really do need to talk about everything, don’t we?” you sighed, looking up at them. They nodded in agreement, turning to find chairs to sit down in.
Jack managed to lay claim to your desk chair. Trevor, given the option of the other side of your bed and your sad old beanbag, found himself practically on the floor.
“Be serious, man,” Jack mock scolded Trevor as the latter squirmed in the near flat beanbag. A laugh left you as Trevor flipped him off, and then yet another when you had to look all the way down to see him.
“Dicks,” Trevor mumbled, ignoring both of you as he finished settling into his bag.
“Now that that’s out of the way, where do we even start?” you voiced the unsaid question.
The boys exchanged glances and hesitated. “I don’t know,” Jack said quietly, slumping down.
“Great,” you nodded sarcastically, earning yourself a glare and laugh. The three of you sobered quickly after, realizing that none of you actually knew where to begin.
“I’m just gonna start by saying that before I even asked Y/N out, I seriously had no idea you liked her,” Trevor spoke to Jack before turning to face you. “I did know, though, that you liked him. Which—admittedly—wasn’t great, but still.”
Shaking your head, you tried to wrap your head around that. “That makes no sense. Why ask someone out if you know they like someone else? That’s like setting yourself up for failure.”
Trevor shrugged in response, reasoning, “Spencer is a good hype man.”
Closing your mouth, you nodded. He had a point.
“My thing is,” Jack leaned forward, peering up at you, “why did you agree to go out with Trevor if you liked me?”
Clearing your throat, you resisted the urge to blush. “Right before that, I heard you and the guys talking about some hot girl that gave you her number. After so long of you not making a move, that was just the last straw I guess. I was leaving, thinking about how it was time to move on and then Trevor asked me out and—well.” Ending your words with a shrug, you winced at how bad it sounded when put like that.
“You only went out from me to move on from Jack?” Trevor asked, hurt creeping into his voice. Jack leaned back into his chair, falling silent.
Meeting Trevor’s eyes, you shook your head rapidly. “No! It played a part, yea, but I wouldn’t have said yes if I didn’t think I could actually like you. You looked all cute and flustered when you asked me and I just—it dawned on me that if I wasn’t hung up on Jack, I probably would’ve liked you for a while at that point.”
Talking about it like this was more than a little embarrassing, especially since you could feel Jack’s gaze on the side of your face.
“And if you’ve liked me for so long, why were you talking about how you were going to call that ‘hot chick’?” you turned it back on Jack, the question having bugged you since you found out Jack liked you.
Eyes going wide, Jack sputtered. “I said I was kidding! That she wasn’t my type, because you’re my type—not the you’re my type part obviously but—didn’t I say that right after the guys calmed down?” He directed the last question at Trevor, putting him on the spot this time.
Trevor went quiet for a second before answering. “I think? I can’t remember, right around then Spencer came in to tell me Y/N was leaving.”
“Spencer was the one who told you I was leaving—?”
“Wait, how did you know I’ve liked you for ‘so long’? I never told you that I actually liked you,” Jack questioned, talking over you.
“I think almost kissing someone is a pretty clear sign you like them, Jack,” Trevor told him condescendingly. Jack rolled his eyes at him, kicking him lightly, before looking back at you.
Avoiding his gaze, you found a sudden interest in your shirt. “I might have overheard the two of you fighting that night you spilled your drink on me,” you mumbled, pursing your lips.
“You did?”
“Oh god,” Jack groaned, covering his face with his hands as Trevor choked.
“Yea.” You drug the word out, grimacing. “Not your best moment, either of you.”
“Is that why you avoided us the first time?” Trevor asked, his head angled to the side. You nodded, confirming his suspicion.
Jack’s sudden laughter startled you. “This is why we communicate, kids,” he said between gasps for air. A snort left you and soon enough you were all laughing at how bad the three of you really are at handling shit.
After your amusement died down, Trevor brought up a valid point.
“What are we doing now?” he asked, glancing up between the two of you. “I mean, we know where we went wrong and all of that, but where does that leave us?”
The question everything came back to, it seemed.
“I still don’t know,” you admitted, darting your tongue out to wet your lips.
Quiet dawned over you again, contemplative and unsure. All of you lost in thought about what happens next.
“You know what? I don’t care what happens as long as I get to be around you,” Jack shrugged. At your curious gaze, he elaborated.
“It’s been too long of constant drama. I just miss being able to talk to you and be your friend.”
“Lame,” Trevor didn’t even bother to hide his whisper. Jack rolled his eyes, flipping him off. You rolled your eyes at the both of them. You missed their antics and agreed with him, saying as much.
“I think we should start over,” you told them, bouncing your leg.
Their heads snapped toward you, forgetting about their bickering. “What do you mean?” Trevor asked, furrowing his eyebrows. Jack mirrored his expression, staring intently at you.
You sucked in a deep breath, trying to figure out how to word it. After a second, you started, “Obviously, even from the beginning, this wasn’t the healthiest relationship if that’s what you want to call it. There was always something holding someone back or coming in the way of things. I think we should just forget everything. Let everything be in the past and start anew. As friends or some sort of weird in between—I don’t care. I’ve just missed both of you a lot and don’t want to lose either of you over something so stupid.”
You couldn’t get through it while looking at them. Your gaze had shifted down to your fidgeting hands at some point. After you finished, they stayed quiet taking in your words.
“I’m okay with that,” Jack said finally, causing your head to snap up. He met your eyes with a soft grin, reassuring your nerves. Your gaze slipped down to a still silent Trevor, anxiously awaiting his response.
He looked up after a few seconds to see the two of you staring at him. “Oh! Yea, I’m cool with that. As long as we’re good and not ignoring each other anymore, I’m fine.”
Letting out a laugh, you shook your head. Relief washed over you, resulting in a goofy smile taking residence on your face. “Great,” you told them.
“See, this all worked out because I cornered you in your bedroom,” Jack told Trevor, standing up and making his way to your bed.
“Wait—you what?” you asked, vaguely noticing Trevor having difficulty getting up and out of the beanbag. He kicked at Jack, waving his hands in the air.
“Yea well this wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t kissed my girlfriend,” Trevor shot back at him as he pulled him up.
You stared up at them, trying to get an answer from one of them. Jack pushed you over, sliding down on your left while Trevor took a spot on your right.
“You cornered him—?”
“Get over it already, that was so last week,” Jack ignored you, tugging you down beside him. Trevor snagged one of your hands, lacing your fingers together. Your heart soared at the familiar gesture and you let yourself be maneuvered.
The bed barely big enough for all three of you, you tried again.
“What’s up with you and cornering people in their rooms?”
The boys bursting into laughter at your genuine confusion on each side of you, you found yourself smiling widely.
This is good, you thought to yourself.
Everything is good.
#jack hughes#trevor zegras#jack hughes imagine#trevor zegras imagine#jack hughes x reader#trevor zegras x reader#jack hughes fic#renwrites#trevor zegras fic#ntdp#usntdp#usa hockey#mine#writing#nhl fanfiction#nhl fic#nhl writing#nhl imagines#hockey writing#hockey imagines#hockey fanfiction#hockey fic#ill be good series#imagines#anaheim ducks#new jersey devils
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Big & Little Bear | Self - Para
[mentions: @annccoopcr @jennaxcooper @madisonharrow @franmellina @evieblmnt]
“How’d I know I’d find you here, hm?” Hector smirked as he held up the twenty four pack in his hand and patted his pocket where she knew he’d have a few bigass blunts for the two of them. “Some things never change, I guess.”
Ella smiled when she heard the sound of Hector’s voice, part of her feeling like tonight would be the night he finally showed up. It was their favorite spot by the water, the one they’d come to after he’d buy her a snack to make her feel better or rather the place he had first caught her smoking and had taken the time to teach her how instead of letting her cough her lungs out. “I’m a creature of habit, hermano,” she replied with a soft laugh before moving to make room for him to sit with her.
“Yeah no shit, it’s nice though. Lot of years I came here without you. Wasn’t the same though.” Despite all the shit going on for both of them, Hector felt at home sitting next to Ella, cracking open a beer for her before he did the same for himself. He could still remember the night she couldn’t stop playing with the label on her soda can, desperate to find a way to tell him she was gay. And when she did, he only smiled and hugged her and told her he’d give her some tips on how to hit on girls. It had never occurred to him to be anything other than loving. The Cooper sisters were his family, there was no doubt about that.
But still the heaviness weight in between them. The reality that Evie was pregnant, that Hector already had a grown daughter, all of the past things they had tried to bury suddenly unearthing itself in time for the two of the to be in great need of a chance to breathe. So they sat there in silence at first, the only sound that could be heard was the opening of the cans or the click of the lighter. They passed it back and forth, watching their smoke in the sky, their bodies finally relaxing back against the hard rocks. Their thoughts still as chaotic but it a bit more filtered, slightly subdued.
“El, I..” Hector started, but wasn’t sure where to even start, his voice caught in his throat as he tried to express everything on his mind.
“Evie told me,” she said instead, figuring he might not be able to talk without knowing what she knew. “Think she told me before she told you actually which is not..me trying to be petty I just,” she finally looked at him as she flicked some ash off the end of blunt and handed it back to him. “And it’s fucking weird, dude. I mean, you’re the love of my life’s baby daddy that’s some serious days of our lives shit,” she told hi, but there wasn’t anger in her voice. “Then again, I suppose if someone was going to be a sperm donor, it’s good that it’s you, at least the kid won’t be ugly,” she added and nudged him.
Her words actually caused a loud laugh to leave his mouth and he remembered why it was that he and Ella got along the way the day. Remembered the ways he had seen himself in her and she had picked up so many of his habits. Luckily she had a much better head on her shoulders and would never make some of the same mistakes he did. “She and I were just messing around, you know? I..I still don’t know what we’re gonna do but you know, let’s be real here, that kid is just as much yours as it is mine. It’s not like she wants to raise a kid with me but if we keep the baby then you know I’m there. I’m gonna be there.”
Ella nodded along, knowing he was speaking the truth but the situation was still weird. “I guess,” she started and made sure he was smoking as she spoke so he was a bit relaxed. “I guess now would be a good time to tell you I’ve been hooking up with Frankie. And before you say anything..it took me a minute to figure out who she was.”
Hector’s expression clearly changed at the mention of Fran but all he could do was let out a laugh. “For fucking real? Jesus, El, you really don’t give these ladies a chance.” He let out another laugh that only grew when their eyes met and next thing they knew they were both cracking up. Until Hector stopped and looked at her. “Wait, does that mean you knew Bree was my kid?”
Ella almost spit out the blunt when he spoke, her eyes widening. “Wait what the fuck? You’re Bree’s dad? Nah dude if I knew that you know I would’ve told you ASAP. I mean shit, now it kind of makes sense, like if you look at her for long you can see the resemblance but I just thought that meant Fran had a thing for latinx dudes. Shit, oh shit! So wait, you’re a double dad? Oh damn, dude, drink that beer, I’ll light up my joint,” she told him and did just that, reaching out a hand to give his shoulder a squeeze. “You alright?”
Hector took a breath, grateful that they could just be real with each other and getting a kick out of how they were able to navigate these complex emotions with such ease. “Yeah so I guess we fucked each other’s person, huh? That’s something. And yeah, she’s my kid. Fran kind of told me because she had to. I ran into them at the supermarket. We got into this big ass fight but I’m supposed to see Bree soon. You spent time with her already? I mean I’m alright. My heads all sorts of fucked up, you know? I mean I kind of thought Fran would never come back and not did she only come back but she’s back with a ten year old who’s life I missed out on. It feels fucked up and i dont know how to not be fucking pissed off but also like..shit, am I ready to be a dad? To Bree and to this potential kid? Hell fucking no,” he admitted and took a long drag. “But I’m going to. I ain’t no fucked up dad, I’m gonna be there for her as much as I can. I’m just..fucking terrified to fuck up.”
Ella nodded along, finishing off her first beer before going for the second. She loved when Hector bought the cans and they could just easily drink their way through the pack. “Dude, I’m not even gonna try to act like I have some sage wisdom around this,you know how I feel about kids. But I mean you’re a good fucking person. I know you don’t think that because you like to get all broody and introspective. But compared to a lot of people in this world? You’re good to people. And yeah, I’ve spent some time with Bree. She’s a good kid. Kind of sarcastic and curious like us. Definitely a product of you and Fran. Speaking of are you two...cause if you are then I officially feel weird about still fucking her, cause i mean, you know you’re my guy.”
Hector laughed softly and drank some of his own beer as he thought about it. “I don’t know what she and I are. I mean when we fought she said all this shit and we talked on the phone and it was just, real talk? It’s fucking scary, E. I mean, ten years I spent convincing myself that she just..threw me away, you know? That she woke up one day and just stopped wanting me. And I didn’t blame her. Cause I never thought much of myself. But it thought it would be different with her, things would be different and then they weren’t. Come to find out she had all these like real logical reasons and a daughter and all of these things that turn reality or what I thought was reality just on it’s ass and I’m suppose dto what? Just go with the flow and trust the process and shit? I’m fucking terrified. I mean what if, god what if it starts to get real good and then she decides nah, shit’s too unsafe, I gotta move again and next thing I know, my daughter is gone and Fran is gone and...I can’t just jump back into what we were you know? I’m not 22 anymore. I got shit I need to do, commitments and everything and I don’t know. I dont think she even wants me like that no more. I think she thinks she does because she still sees me as that guy who picked her up for the carnival on our second date and I see myself as...
“A piece of shit? You love calling yourself that,” she told him and cut him off, putting another beer in his hand. “I got tough news for you Hec. You’re not a piece of shit. yeah, you’ve done some..questionable shit, but that doesn’t make you the devil. I mean honestly, I’m too fucking high to give you a pep talk and I know that’s not what you need. So like you’d say to me, nut up or fuck off. You got a daughter, a baby on the way, but at least you got your life and a job, a working car, running water. You got everything you need to give those babies a good life. You can’t keep living with your head in the past or what Fran might or might not think. I mean shit, if you love her, you go with what you feel and i know im not the one to be giving love advice because me and Evie,” she took a breath. “I dont’ know that shit is complicated too but what I do know is that I’ll be by her side however she needs it. Because she’s my girl, always will be.”
Hector stayed quiet and sipped his beer as she spoke, knowing she was right. “Damn, how’d you get so good at this, little bear?”
Ella let out a loud laugh and shook her head. “Oh my god you haven’t called me that in the longest. Jesus, what a throwback.” Ella shook her head as she laughed before scooting over so she could put her head on his shoulder. “For the record, I’m happy you’re alive, big bear. This life would be pretty shitty without you. You’re one of the reasons Im happy I came home even if I’m still committed to finally getting to you to New York one day. I know you’d love it,” she assured him before passing the joint, watching their smoke disappear over the water. “And I don’t know if I’m good at this, I just talk out of my ass. I learned from the best,” she told him and tapped his side lightly which only made him laugh.
She wasn’t lying when she said she was grateful for him. After her parents passed, Hector and Kit were really the only two male figures she had any respect for and could actually get through to her. Hector had always been patient, even when she was a little bitch and swore she didn’t need anyone’s help. But he had let her scream, even let her hit him once and only had given her advice on how to pack a bigger punch. He was the brother she had never had and never knew she needed. The person who’d believe in her no matter what, the way Anna did but also wasn’t afraid to be a little honest with her, to see her with more of her flaws. Hector was her family, without a doubt, and he always would be.
Hector eventually moved his arm to wrap around Ella’s shoulders, smiling softly as he thought about how far they had come. How he had known her since she was born and he couldn’t be more proud. How even though he felt like a fuck up, he knew he would be a good dad because of the way he had been with Ella and Jenna, the platonic partnership he and Anna had over the years. The Cooper girls were his family, without a doubt and always would be.
“So you know I met Madison, though I like to call her angel, she saved my ass the other night. Got her drunk off lime a ritas and shit,” he told Ella with a laugh. “I shouldn’t be surprised you already on that buts he seems a little heart eyes and shit, you feel the same?”
Ella laughed softly and nodded, taking the joint from his fingers. “I do. I think I kind of fell half in love with her already,” she admitted and exhaled. “She is an angel. Heaven sent for sure. I mean I’d say I’m unworthy but...I think she and I are going to be exactly what we’re meant to be. Plus, eventually she’ll realize what she really wants it some dick but we’ll always have something special. In the meantime though. I’m going to enjoy those sweet angel lips and that cute as fuck smile. It’s funny though, you know, everyone, even my sisters act like I have all this power. Like Madison is this innocent little thing. But she could just as easily break my heart and she just might but I’m okay with that. I’d love to get my heart broken by her as ass backwards as it sounds. But I know you've seen what I’ve seen. She’s a fighter, got this little fire in her, you know?”
Hector nodded along, knowing exactly what she meant. “Well then protect your heart as much as you can, alright? I mean enjoy the ride and all of that but still, you deserve all that good shit too. Even if you think you’re too smart for it to happen sometimes.”
She laughed softly and nodded, appreciating the way he said it. She wanted to tell him about Jenna and about Anna and Jared, she wanted so badly to but she knew he was dealing with a lot and in the end, despite how stubborn she was, it wasn’t her place to tell. She just hoped her sisters would feel the trust she had in him, hope they knew that he was someone to lean on, someone who would always protect them.
“It’s all kind of fucked up, isn’t it? The webs we weave. How connected you and I are. But I guess I wouldn’t want to be fucked up with anyone else, you know?”
Hector laughed softly, “Yeah I know what you mean. Fucked up together,” he told her with a laugh and knocked his can against hers lightly. “You and me, Little B, we gotta keep our fam together, you know? Plus, Tia Ella ain’t so bad, right?” He smiled sweetly and leaned over to press his lips to the side of her head, laughing as she pretended to swat him off.
“Yeah, yeah, I love you too, Big Bear. I’m gonna get Bree to start calling you that and hey,” she told him and pushed at his head lightly, “You’re gonna be a great fucking dad. I know you will so stop second guessing yourself so much. That shit is lame, alright?”
Hector nodded and held his fist out for her to bump before they did their little handshake. “Big bear and little bear for life, right?”
Ella let out a loud laugh and nodded, “For better or for worse, dude, big bear and little bear for life.”
#drugs tw#alcohol tw#self para#ft. hector#big bear and little bear#sp#yes i did write a self para w my own charas#what about it lolol#also i dont proofread we die like men!!!
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✩ kaidette
i haven’t even started it yet and i know this is gonna physically pain me … let’s go ! leggo, my eggo. update : i finished it and now i’m depresso.
DISAGREEMENTS
who is more likely to raise their voice? odette. she is a very loud human being.who threatens to leave but never actually does? typical kai antics.who actually keeps their word and leaves? if odette says she’ll leave, then she’ll leave. sorry bout it. who trashes the house? odette’s the type to throw some glasses on the floor to make a point. loud and clear !do either of them get physical? despite his history, i don’t think kai would. but odette would definitely poke at that shit to try and get a reaction from him. he’d leave. she’d be pissed. life is hard. how often do they argue/disagree? like every day, she’s her. it’s never that serious, though.who is the first to apologize? kai. she never apologizes, not even once.
SEX
who is on top? i want to preface this by saying they’ve never had sex, they never will have sex and all that is being spoken now is totally not an accurate portrayal of the future. anyways, odette rides him like a mechanical bull.who is on the bottom? kai. she pegs him, too.who has the strangest desires? probably kai. she’s not that … adventurous. for obvious reasons. any kinks? kai shutting the fuck up.who’s dominant in bed? listen. normal circumstances, not to speak ill of the dead, but – with n*c she was the more dominant party ‘cos she got them issues, we been knew. with kai, however, the trust this girl has … he can put her in a chokehold and she’d be like, haha cute. is head ever in the equation? if it wasn’t she’d leave. if so, who is better at performing it? kai. ever had sex in public? no and they never will.who moans the most? you really gonna make me out my girl like this.who leaves the most marks? odette. if she’s gonna rid herself of her morals and smash this giant man, she’s gonna make it clear he’s OFF-LIMITS. who screams the loudest? eye-who is the more experienced of the two? kai. obviously. one hundred percent. do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? no matter what she says, no matter the circumstance, it’ll always be the latter. rough or soft? depends on how pissy she is.how long do they usually last? like, way too long. send ava away to camp long. is protection used? yes, she doesn’t want another one of THOSE. does it ever get boring? probably not. they’ve known each other since they were YOUTHS, if they aren’t bored by now they never will be. where is the strangest place they’d have sex? reality.
FAMILY
do your muses plan on having children/or have children? i know kai does but with odette i am unsure ™ ! i think she’d want a kid if the opportunity presented itself, but she’d never actively plan for one.if so, how many children do your muses want/have? fucking no more than two. counting ava. who is the favorite parent? kai. like he already is.who is the authoritative parent? odette. like she already is.who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school? kai. he’s the cool dad. the funky dad. who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around? you think i’m gonna say kai ‘cos he’s more lax ? no. odette can’t cook, you think she’s gonna deprive these kids of poptarts if they so desire it ? fuck no. who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children? kai. honestly, odette can’t really be bothered ‘cos kids doing shit is … BORING. but kai would drag her along. who goes to parent teacher interviews? kai. odette threatened to beat up ava’s math teacher once and the rest is history.who changes the diapers? kai. who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby? kai. truly, he’s giving his all here folks.who spends the most time with the children? also kai. maybe odette is just a deadbeat. stay tuned for more at six.who packs their lunch boxes? please don’t make me say kai again.who gives their children ‘the talk’? definitely fucking kai. odette never got the talk herself, she just caught her mom smashing some drunk once and that’s how she was introduced to the world of sex. who cleans up after the kids? also kai.who worries the most? like about trivial shit ? kai. homework, soccer practice and what not, that’s his territory. odette worries about the social stuff. like first boyfriend, meeting new people, sending ava off to college. that’s scary. a shitty grade is not. who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from? odette, big oof.
AFFECTION
who likes to cuddle? both. but odette has a tendency to initiate it, ‘cos he’s a big ass pussy.who is the little spoon? most of the time, odette. ‘cos she’s wittle. but bad mood kai is definitely getting spooned the fuck out of.who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? * insert the lap hc i sent you many moons ago * “ what if he gets a hard-on ? ” “ she’d leave. ”who struggles to keep their hands to themself? odette. how long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable? like a good while. she’s not that affectionate in general but kai’s more like an extension of her. odette’s emotional support teddy bear, you know. who gives the most kisses? kai. what is their favourite non-sexual activity? reluctantly watching star trek and cuddling on the sofa. fuck off. if beer is involved all the better. hanging out with ava is just like a good time, too, for whatever reason. where is their favourite place to cuddle? bed. couch is very chillaxed and they hang there most often. but bed … when she sneaks into his room ‘cos hers is cold and its his fault and she puts her cold ass feet on him and wraps herself up next to him in his blanket like a wittle burrito – that’s soft antics. who is more likely to playfully grope the other? odette. how often do they get time to themselves? not that often now that ava is grounded, but otherwise, pretty often.
SLEEPING
who snores? no one, but sometimes odette.if both do, who snores the loudest? who ya think.do they share a bed or sleep separately? depends on the day.if they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? i mean, when she does sleep in his bed it is to cuddle and ‘cos they’re in a good place. but sometimes, she’s there even when she’s mad at him. so, really, it’s fifty/fifty. okay, more like eighty/twenty. who talks in their sleep? neither.what do they wear to bed? she snags his shirts, might as well be nightgowns the length of them. when he knows she’ll be in there he is clothed, and by clothed i mean pjs and a tee. when he doesn’t, he’s just all about freeing the nipple. she prefers the latter but you didn’t hear it from me. are either of your muses insomniacs? i feel like kai has some issues sleeping. and odette, to a degree. she will wake him up for late night convos which mostly are just whining and her poking fun at him. sometimes it gets deep and borderline ‘ what if ’ … she pretends it never happened in the morn. can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? they’re kais, odette likes them with her wine.do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? side by side. who wakes up with bed hair? both.who wakes up first? kai, no doubt.who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? also kai.what is their favourite sleeping position? she likes being the little spoon. she also likes having her head on his chest with him holding her like the small baby she is. who hogs the sheets? odette.do they set an alarm each night? kai does. can a television be found in their bedroom? nope. it’s they-time. i say as if it isn’t his bedroom. truth is, they’re too poor for it.who has nightmares? not so much anymore but odette. who has ridiculous dreams? i feel like kai doesn’t dream. he’s too grounded for it.who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? odette. which is impossible ‘cos she’s a baby.who makes the bed? kai, ‘cos it’s his.what time is bed time? whenever odette crawls in there.any routines/rituals before bed? not that i can think of. check back again in 3-4 business days.who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? odette, no doubt in my mind. she’s always pissy. more so in the morning, though.
WORK
who is the busiest? kai, probably. but his schedule is also more predictable than hers, so.who rakes in the highest income? odette. breadwinner right there.are any of your muses unemployed? nope.who takes the most sick days? no one. odette’s got a tendency to skip shit ‘cos she’s lazy but when she’s sick she powers through ‘cos she’s not WEAK.who is more likely to turn up late to work? odette.who sucks up to their boss? kai.what are their jobs? he’s a nurse bitch and she’s a bounty-hunter. in connecticut. yeah, that pays … who stresses the most? kai, probably.do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? i think they both enjoy them.are your muses financially stable? hell no.
HOME
who does the washing? kai, he’s so powerful.who takes out the trash? kai.who does the ironing? kai.who does the cooking? kai.who is more likely to burn the house down just trying? odette ! it’s a wonder she hasn’t already in my opinion.who is messier? odette. literally … without him and ava she’d be lost. who leaves the toilet roll empty? odette. she’s just a fantastic roommate, isn’t she.who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? also odette.who forgets to flush the toilet? ava.who is the prankster around the house? kai’s more fun but odette likes to mess with him. pranks are a-okay if she started them, but don’t you dare put flour in her blowdryer unprompted. who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? odette, every single time. kai has an extra set of keys for literally everything.who mows the lawn? apartment people.who answers the telephone? kai. odette pretends she doesn’t hear it ringing.who does the vacuuming? kai.who does the groceries? also kai.who takes the longest to shower? still kai, m’dude. who spends the most time in the bathroom? the answer might surprise you … it’s kai. odette takes ten minute showers and blowdries her hair and then she’s out the door. kai takes styling his hair very seriously. it’s an art form ! and also he shaves and gets hair everywhere which adds like 15 minutes.
MISCELLANEOUS
is money a problem? more like is money ever NOT a problem. they figure it out, though, but shit’s tight. so no skateboards for the kids.how many cars do they own? used to be one before they got to town. now they got two. good for them.do they own their home or do they rent? rent.do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? literally i don’t know where sheffield is stop asking me this.do they live in the city or in the country? downtown apartment.do they enjoy their surroundings? no, they miss california and they really have got no reason to stay except ava’s inevitable bitching if they move again. what’s their song? rocket man by elton john. no one but luna gets to know the story.what do they do when they’re away from each other? odette got no hobbies and honestly, does kai ? so nothing. they do too much together. odette hangs out with jack and emma but that’s literally it. where did they first meet? the streets ™ honestly, i dunno. probably some youthful hangout underneath a bridge in chino. there was a burn barrel, kids were doing coke and they bonded. how did they first meet? is that not the same as the first question. they met being homeless and annoying. odette thought he was too tall and he thought she was too bitchy. the rest is history.who spends the most money when out shopping? odette. she’s cheap, but she also has no concept of money. she throws dollar bills at walmart like it was a strip club. who’s more likely to flash their assets? neither. they were homeless and in the foster care, they don’t like braggarts and the rich. who finds it amusing when the other trips over? odette laughs every single time. sometimes she trips him, she’s mature like that.any mental issues? too many to count.who’s terrified of bugs? i feel like odette has a distaste for them but she doesn’t really give an f. kai doesn’t like spiders, though. she likes getting those toy ones on halloween and put them in his bed. who kills the spiders around the house? odette because : see above. their favourite place? his shitty car. sometimes they ride around and do fuck-all, like they’re back to their youth. sometimes they sit in the front-seat, parked on some remote spot in the woods and they smoke. cool, thanks. who pays the bills? both.do they have any fears for their future? not really. they’re pretty solid, honestly. not really worrisome people at their cores. who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? kai, honestly. just ‘cos he can cook and she fucking can’t.who uses up all of the hot water? odette. her showers might be short but the water’s scorching. if it doesn’t burn the skin off her body, she doesn’t want it.who’s the tallest? you come into my home … who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other? we have never encountered this scenario before and we absolutely will not, ever, ever, ever. but odette 110%. who wanders around in their underwear? odette. and i’m not sorry about it.who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? kai * cue the scene in the last song w miley & liam *what do they tease each other about? everything. nothing’s off limits which is absolutely stupid as hell. i mean, obviously they don’t mention ~ the things ~ but, a lot of it has to do with parenting techniques and their past as street rats. odette likes to mock his height, he tries to do the same but she smacks him when he does. who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? odette. she wears like neutrals and blacks, there’s nothing to make fun of. kai on the other hand …do they have mutual friends? do emma and jack really count ?who crushed first? you want me to say kai but odette is the truth, so back the fuck off.any alcohol or substance related problems? i mean … they both got their respective histories and that’s messy and odette really can’t handle her liquor sometimes but they got it under control, thanks.who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? odette, duh.who swears the most? this is not a question i will validate with a response.
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And Now Shameless Slanders The Littlest Milkovich? FUCK YOU
My recap of Season H8 Episode H8
They really had Vee refer to Yevgeny as a “little psychopath”, just to retcon every decent Milkovich that ever was. Completely unnecessary and untrue, and WHERE THE FUCK IS IAN, WHY ISN’T HE IN THIS KID’S LIFE ANYMORE, HE STATED FLAT OUT HE LOVED YEVGENY. Thank goodness there’s a gif of a Henckel flipping the bird to help me through this trying time.
I’ll try to temper my bitterness for the rest of this, but I make no guarantees.
That horrific remark about an innocent child aside, this episode had little to get me riled up over-it was one of the most boring episodes they’ve ever done-every week they seem to outdo themselves on that front.
This piece of shit-pardon me-episode was written by day-to-day showrunner Nancy Pimental and it was either her lame attempt at trying to win Macy that Emmy OR her purposely sabotaging him, because his storyline was the longest and most painfully unfunny this week.
Also it was directed by Emmy Rossum and she gave herself a shit ton of close ups which I suppose is her prerogative and heaven knows the writer didn’t give her much story to shoot.
This week opens with the dog Rusty staring at a still in bed Fiona and kicks off the aforementioned close ups. I still want that dog to be explained-the law isn’t “dogs that have eaten human flesh must be destroyed-unless someone’s willing to take a chance on rescuing them”. Why is there zero fucking research on this show?
Meanwhile, Franny’s screaming but Debs is too busy in the bathroom taking a half dozen pregnancy tests and acting like the world owes her something-that will be her theme throughout the episode, as it has been for the past few seasons.
Nancy tries to capture some of that “all the Gallaghers in one place at one time” magic by having everyone crowd around the bathroom and giving Ian his first spoiled toddler line of the ep, “Guess I won’t shower today-gonna get filthy anyway cleaning that shitty building my sister found for homeless kids.” Whatever that meaningful moment on Ian’s bed was last episode is being forgotten or ignored by this dumbass show. Will it ever be revisited? Who knows.
Lip, who this season is like Mrs. Kravitz on Bewitched and seems to have this compelling need to insert himself into other people’s drama while ignoring his own, volunteers to take Debbie to Planned Parenthood where she again acts like a total bitch who needs a reality check, and where Lip just happens to be there to see Charlie (Snore’s ex) walk in with a very pregnant woman. Such fortuitous timing!
There’s a gross scene of Carl peeing into a toilet between Kassidi’s legs as she sits on the back of the toilet-good god, Nancy, is that what you think the kids are into these days? All I’m gonna say about Kassidi is that she’s exactly like Sammi only younger and even more charmless. Whoever the fuck thought the show needed that vibe back needs to be fired. And I get that Carl is supposed to be thinking with his self-inflicted deformed dick, but, really? After seeing his father and Monica over the years, plus living with Sammi for a bit, he wouldn’t know enough to run from that type of chick?
Frank has this totally convoluted “only on Shameless” business venture going where he’s going to smuggle immigrants who feel unsafe in the USA over the Canadian border and bring back his car loaded with prescription drugs. Sure, Frank. Anyway, the only scene of note in the many long and boring scenes he got this week is when he’s listing talented Canadians-and when he DOESN’T say “Noel Fisher” we all hear it anyway and laugh at this lame show for letting all that talent go. Assholes.
Instead of recycling Mickey’s shirts this week, the show does something even more stupid: they use the VFW hall where Mickey got married as the new youth shelter AND they use the basement where Mickey and Ian banged before his wedding as the food bank Debbie goes to! Okay, Cam, I gotta say, that’s a version of audacious-reminding us of those classic Mickey moments the show can’t come close to having using any of the characters they’ve kept on.
Speaking of Mickey (not that the show ever does), Nancy tries to recreate some of that old Mickey magic with having Terror call Ian a “Negative Nellie” when he bitches some more about the new youth shelter. Pinning nicknames on Ian is a Mickey thing only-why are they constantly reminding us of the gaping holes that losing Noel has left?
Anyway, here’s how Nancy tried to bring some shit talking South Side back into the show: Ian: This place is a dump. Terror (to Geneva): Don’t listen to Negative Nellie he’s still mad about the church. I: (sarcastic) Ye-ah, cuz you got pity fucked by my sister with this building. T: (imitates Ian) Ye-ah-and she was really good.
Side note-can you imagine Ian ever trying to joke with Mickey about him fucking his sister? Sheesh.
I: I bet-she’s great at getting what she wants and screwing everybody else.
WTF? Has Nancy ever seen the show? Fiona always winds up screwing herself over. I’m not a huge fan of Fiona’s big sister act, but even I can admit she sacrificed a lot for her younger siblings and never did things to screw them while advancing herself. The thing Ian should be mad about is Fiona’s comments about Mickey-and even then she didn’t screw Mickey or Ian, she just said some stupid shit that Ian didn’t have to listen to.
Anyway, Geneva tells Ian and Terror about the gay conversion church, so now I know taking on organized religion wasn’t what Ian referred to as “larger concerns”. One of the youths tried to commit suicide after being subjected to it, so Ian and Terror go visit him and the kid holds up his bandaged wrists and asks if they like his hot wristbands and even though it’s canon that Ian witnessed his mother moments after she slit her wrists and Terror spent his prom night in an emergency room because he slit his, neither of them bat an eye or react in any way to the kid’s injuries.
Emmy throws in a way too long scene of Fiona dancing around in her underwear (after more way too long Frank scenes). Again it amazes me how this show just recycles the same shit over and over-anyone remember Fiona’s happy dance in the church she went to check out for her and Sean to get married in?
Ford catches her in the act and entices her to go out and look at Chicago architecture with him-I want the jobs that either of them have where they have all the free time in the world to lollygag. And why is the show wasting all this time on all this crap in one episode? Paint drying on those historic buildings would’ve been more interesting to watch than this hour of television.
At the end of their tour, Ford shows her the inside of a house he’s working on (all by himself, apparently, I guess he doesn’t work with a crew) and asks her to lie down on an improbably placed mattress and she’s a tad hesitant at first, but when she does it, he points out art on the ceiling to her. She’s impressed with its beauty and then starts making out with Ford in a total recreation of Ian with Faileb and thinking that guys who show any bit of interest in them as people must want to fuck them. It was stupid with Faileb, it’s stupid with Ford.
There’s a scene somewhere along the line with Kev and Vee that’s bordering on spousal abuse-I really wish they’d end this “Kev grows some balls” idea immediately. "Big neanderthal man” is not a thinking person’s idea of an ideal partner.
Ugh, now for more of the Ian crap. He goes home and asks if they have a Bible laying around. He finds one, and the next day-THE VERY NEXT DAY-he and Terror go to the gay conversion church and Ian gets into a Bible quoting match with the pastor/minister/whatever he is. I’m sure Cam was hard as a rock thinking he was coming off like Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction, but the movie character I was thinking of was Rain Man-how else could he have memorized several Bible passages overnight unless he’s some sort of idiot savant?
Terror is basically an Ian accessory in the scene-a backpack or a briefcase or a Trapper Keeper, holding Ian’s Bible for him until he needs it. And the whole, “We’ll probably be banging again soon” right after Terror calls himself Ian’s ex was stupid-not funny or sexy, which I bet was what good old Nancy was going for.
Cut to a scene of Snore getting a bit of a story thread that they probably originally kicked around for Mandy, and she has the triggering line that she’ll “run away to Mexico” if her father is released from prison. Sure, Snore, whatever.
Then there’s the scene where Kev is trying out his domineering dick act for the second time this ep on Svetlana, and Vee gets turned on and hands Yev over to Svetlana calling him that P word. Fuck you, bitch. I hope Svetlana is scheming to fuck Kev and Vee over big time-they have a scene where it looks like Svet’s doing that, but with this show, who knows if it’ll be alluded to again?
In the time it took Ian and Terror and the refugees from the gay conversion church to walk to the youth shelter, a video a person recorded at the church on her phone has been uploaded to You Tube and Geneva tells Ian it has a thousand hits already-cuz, yeah, Nance, that’s how the You Tube works. Homeless kids working to clean up a dilapidated building have their iPhones turned on to get alerts whenever a video that has anything to do with gays gets posted to YT and they all drop everything and watch it.
The only other thing I want to mention is the preview for next week-they show a quick clip of Ian and Terror pulling their shirts off that’s a ripoff of Mickey and Ian’s first time, a shot of Ian watching Terror asleep next to him in his bed where he’s awkwardly as fuck touching his face, and then a clip of Ian saying, “Kinda nice-us being a thing again.” (WHAT HAPPENED TO GET OFF MY PORCH, DICK???? But I digress.) Terror answers, “Jury’s still out.” Well, if by jury he means FANS, we handed down our verdict a long time ago.
I wonder if the show is trying to set up them finding their way to be a “true” couple (GAG), and then “tragedy” will strike and pull them apart when Ian gets arrested and they think it’ll be poignant and painful for the fans, when actually we’ll be cheering and yelling, “Throw Ian in prison for 15 years, bitches! Throw away the key and don’t have anyone visit! Have Terror say it’s too painful for him to see him behind glass like that!!!!”
But then again, this show is so inconsistent maybe that’s not where they’re headed at all. Maybe they just think Ian needs the chase to stay interested, and for some misguided reason the writers think that’s what the fans want to see.
We really, really don’t, though.
And I can’t say it enough: Fuck this show for that line about little Yev. It seemed like another very deliberate slap to the face of Mickey Milkovich fans everywhere.
#Spoilers#Recap#TW: mentions of attempted suicide#Season H8 Episode 8#They didn't even try to disguise Mickey's wedding hall#Or the basement for that matter-altho they did at least shoot that from a different POV#But the columns holding up the ceiling the high windows and the big square tiles on the floor are very distinctive
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autumn leaves (reddie) chapter one
Eddie hasn’t seen the trees change colors since he was a kid, so Richie deems that the two of them should take a road trip back to Derry and see the trees change colors. Cue lots of bad car karaoke, too much coffee, and Eddie absolutely losing his mind over the gorgeous reds, oranges, and yellows of the fall leaves.
Or the one in which Eddie hates Richie, of course, until he falls in love with him.
Words: 1506
Warnings: lots of swearing, angst, why do i use italics so muhc????
Genre: tooth-rotting fluff with angst mixed in (this chapter doesn’t have that angst but just u wait)
As he shakily placed the phone to his ear, he sighed. He knew it. He fucking knew it. Richie Tozier was sure that his oldest best friend had disconnected his phone some time ago. Richie honestly thought it was because of him. Endless four am phone calls and complaints about whatever girl he was currently dating seemed to piss Eddie Kaspbrak off so much, he would rather call his own fucking mother. His mother for god’s sake!
“Hey, Eds,” Richie would greet, which was usually followed by, “Don’t call me Eds. Don’t fucking call me at all.” Of course, Richie had always assumed that this was sarcastic, but then again, perhaps he was only hearing what he wanted to hear. Richie supposed he had had this ‘filtered hearing’ since he was a kid. (He was still a kid at a mere seventeen, but of course he didn’t consider himself one.) Whenever one of his childhood friends interjected their conversation with the phrase, “beep beep Richie”, he found himself somewhat thankful. He could hardly control what spilled out of his mouth when he was younger. His mom jokes and careless swearing were hardly his fault. He didn’t know how to steer a conversation appropriately. Thus, his speech was unfiltered. His hearing, however, was a completely different story. He had assumed that every rotten thing that was said to him by anyone, apart from his bullies, was out of love. When it was coming from his friends, most of the time, it was. However, when it came from his parents, this was not the case. Richie wanted so badly to joke around with his parents about how they were all fuck-ups and hated each other and were wastes of space, only, he never said anything of the sort to his parents. In his mind, his relationship with his parents was complicated. They routinely shouted sarcastic remarks at each other, with the intent being clear, to say ‘I love you’. In reality, the family dynamic was quite simple. Richie’s parents were neglectful and downright verbally (and sometimes physically) abusive. Richie figured that out when he was around eleven, and it didn’t bother him anymore. After all, at seventeen years old, he had much more independence as far as thinking goes. He planned to move out in a year or so, maybe to a small apartment with Bev or Bill. Eddie wasn’t in consideration because he had moved from Derry when he was fifteen, to a small, southern town that Richie couldn’t remember the name of. Richie didn’t even care to remember what state Eddie was in, for that matter. He was just too far, it was like he was no longer real.
Richie shook his head and remembered what he was doing. He dialed the number to Eddie’s house in Wherevertown, delighted when a small voice answered.
“Hello?” asked Eddie. Richie was overjoyed to hear his friend’s voice again. He hadn’t called Eddie in almost a week, which must’ve been some sort of record for him.
“Eddie Spaghetti!” he practically sang, “How’re you on this fine Tuesday evening?” Making small talk wasn’t exactly Richie’s style, and Eddie knew it.
“What do you want?” Eddie’s tone was suddenly one of disgust. Richie smiled.
“Now, now, Eds, can’t a guy call his best friend without wanting something from him?” he mewed. This is the longest they had stayed on the phone in ages. Eddie usually hung up when he found out the person on the other side was Richie, but this time he hadn’t. Richie cherished the moment while he could.
“Richie, I don’t have time for this, I was just about to call Bill anyway.” Richie felt a pang of jealousy in his chest. Eddie didn’t want to stay on the phone for more than thirty seconds with him, yet he would willingly call Bill, just to have a friendly conversation? What bullshit.
“Why Bill? I think I’m much better company than him.” Of course Richie didn’t mean it, he adored Bill, but he deserved time with Eddie more.
“Yeah, you think. I really have to go, it’s important.”
“Just tell me and I can tell Bill.”
“Fat chance, Trashmouth.” The nickname rang in Richie’s ears. Eddie hadn’t used a nickname like that in years.
“C’mon, Eds, tell me what’s up.”
“Don’t call me Eds,” and before Richie could reply, Eddie started talking again, “I was gonna ask Bill if I could stay with him this weekend, I wanna come up to Derry and see the leaves change for fall.” Richie’s heart skipped a beat.
“You can stay with me.” he suggested.
“Yeah right.” Suddenly, an idea hit Richie. He had kept Eddie talking this long, who’s to say he couldn’t try his luck for one night?
“I’m serious, Eds. I’ll come get you and we can drive back up together, watching the leaves change in all kinds of different towns.” The line was silent for a moment, and Richie sighed. “You can call Bill now.”
“No, I guess I don’t have to now.” Richie’s eyes widened. He was only half serious in making the suggestion, as he believed Eddie would be repulsed at the idea.
“Are you serious, Eds? You wanna do that?”
“Wait, now you’re backing out?”
“Duh, of course not. I just need to figure out shit now, but don’t worry, I got this,” he paused, “How’re you gonna convince your mom to let you do this?”
“Don’t worry about that,” Eddie replied, “I thought of that already. Anyway, I’m only going along with this because I want a free ride to Derry. Don’t forget that.” Richie chuckled.
“I would never.”
The next morning, Richie had booked the flight (he found out what Wherevertown was) and rental car. Thirty-six hours of driving with Eddie seemed like a dream to him, and yet, here he was.
“Just thirty-six hours,” Eddie had said, “We’re not gonna make this into a week long thing, okay?” He knew Richie too well. The boy was already planning ways to make the road trip longer. Perhaps when they stopped, they could spend a few days at bed & breakfasts or something of the sort. Eddie had always been the sight-seeing type, after all. Richie smiled to himself. Maybe bed & breakfasts weren’t quite realistic goals, but Richie would settle for a cheap motel as long as Eddie was by his side.
Eddie’s fall break was just around the corner, which is why he decided to take this silly trip in the first place. His mother had been convinced that he was going to Maine in order to look at a college campus, and the only reason she was letting her son view a college so far away from her was because she planned to relocate close to wherever he went to school. Eddie’s relationship with his mother hadn’t improved a bit since moving. She still insisted that he had some bullshit sickness, paid for bullshit prescriptions, and hardly let him out for the same bullshit reasons. Frankly, he was happy to be getting away from her for an entire week in the fall. The price, of course, being three whole days with no one but Richie, but it wasn’t all that bad, he supposed. After all, he didn’t absolutely have to visit his hometown, he could stay with his mother. He decided that was a worse fate than being stuck in a shitty rental car with Richie for three days, so he chose the lesser of the two evils.
As Richie settled in for bed that night, he looked out his window and watched the stars. He smiled for the millionth time in the past hour, knowing that the following morning he would be on a flight straight to Eddie. He counted some stars and sipped his warm milk, taking a deep, cool breath and enjoying the quiet moment.
The flight was long and boring, mostly consisting of Richie staring out the window or playing with the rips in his jeans. He bought some cheap candy at a gift shop in the airport and took his rental car to Eddie’s house. As he walked up the creaky steps to his friend’s home, he smiled. A quick ring of the doorbell and the small, clean-cut boy was in front of him.
“Eddie Spaghetti!” Richie exclaimed as he wrapped his arms around Eddie, “How have you been?” At first, Eddie’s expression was one of antipathy, but it softened when he looked Richie in the eyes.
“Don’t call me that, I hate it,” he started, “I’ve been just great. Now can we get this show on the road?” Richie’s smile never faded as he presented a bag of caramel hard candies to Eddie.
“Not so fast, Eds,” said Richie, “I got these for you.” The statement was simple enough, yet it made Eddie’s heart skip a beat. Richie had literally spent hundreds of dollars on a flight and rental car all for Eddie, yet it was a small bag of candy that ignited something within him.
a/n: hi so this is my first reddie fic ever and also my first time posting my writing on tumblr (with my name on it) so p l z give me feedback i;m literally beggin u
also sidenote ive read this like a million times but i have no beta so there could be lots of mistake fORGIVE me ??
#reddie#richie#eddie#it#it 2017#reddie fanfiction#fanfiction#me????? shakin as i post this? ????#it's more likely than you think#my things#fics#reddie fics
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I feel like I've been doing nothing but running around for days and I hate it, I have no energy, I don't have any breaks from this point forward. I just...I'm so tired.
Last week was the only possible summer break I was gonna get considering I have to take summer courses this year so I spent the entire week making the best of my time off, sleeping in late and staying up late and just overall being a lazy bum. I didn't really have any opportunities to get school supplies between my parents' work schedules and how slow some of my teachers were with uploading their syllabi and stuff so I just figured I could buy everything during the first week when I got back. I felt like most teachers don't require you to have all the stuff on the very first day, anyways. After all, I ordered my textbooks either through Amazon or the school's bookstore's website so I could just pick them up today and everything would be golden. It honestly feels like I've been running non-stop since Friday, though. We had meatloaf for dinner on Thursday night and it didn't taste right, but I don't know if there was actually something wrong with it or if it was just my nerves acting up on me. My parents said it tasted fine to them. I was up all night with bathroom problems and insomnia. I ended up only getting four and a half hours of sleep that night and had to be up super early that morning for my big birthday trip. I was going to spend my birthday weekend with my boyfriend, which I couldn't have been more excited about. That fact didn't exactly help my insomnia. Actually, it pretty much caused it. Anyway, I had to be up bright and early at 8am (which is early for me) so we could leave by 9:30am. We decided to take my grandma's car because it's bigger and we definitely needed the space. Me, my parents, my grandmother, and my boyfriend's mother all piled into the car together and spent the longest car ride ever all crammed into the same car. Normally the ride is only 4.5 hours long and I thought I might be able to sleep on the trip up but that wasn't happening. I was smushed in the middle of the backseat between both my mom and his with a shitty stomach. I brushed it off as nerves, getting that same excited butterfly feeling as a kid on the day of a field trip does. I couldn't even eat breakfast and so my stomach was caught between feeling deathly hungry and disgustingly crampy. It was hunger and nausea and almost even PMS like cramps all at once. It was that kind of nausea where no matter how hungry you are, getting near food makes your gag reflex go off and you have to force yourself to swallow every bite you take. Also didn't help that I kept suffering from some serious cotton-mouth so it kept feeling like I had to try and dry swallow my food. We stopped at a McDonald's halfway through the drive and I tried my best to eat my burger and fries but all I could think about was how weirdly colored the burger looked and how there were too many onions, too much ketchup and mustard, how bothersome my stomach felt, and that Viggo Mortensen quote about the stark contrast between a freshly made and cold McDonald's fry. Also didn't help that we decided to sit outside where it was hot as hell and a million birds kept eyeing us up trying to get to our food, coming dangerously close with their mouths open. Between that little break and a setback after nearly getting in a car accident (we had only been on the road about a 45mins to an hour, it seems, when the car in front of us got in a brutal accident where the entire front of his vehicle got smashed in and it was my dad's responsibility was to pull over, assess the damage, make sure everyone was okay, and wait until highway patrol showed up), we got to my boyfriend's house much later than anticipated. It was about 4pm when we showed up-- I was tired and nauseous and I wanted nothing more than to just relax and spend time with my boyfriend. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. He had work at 5pm which meant he left the house at 4:30pm and he didn't get off until 11:30pm. Rather than just go straight to bed, his mother and I chilled on the couch for a very short period of time before my parents and grandma showed up and we all went out for pizza. On one hand, I was happy to have gone since the pizza place we went to makes great, ginormous pizzas (their motto is literally "Slices as big as your head") and the atmosphere of the restaurant itself is really cool but on the other hand, I was so tired and felt so sick, I was in one of those states where a part of me just wanted to go to bed but the other half knew I would never be able to get to sleep anyways so I might as well say fuck it and suffer. Like always, we had a lot of leftovers so we packed up the remaining slices in a box to take back to my boyfriend for when he got off work. Considering my parents had never seen my boyfriend's workplace before, we decided to go walk around and check it the local store. HIs mother and I have been there countless times but my parents and grandmother never had so it was nice getting to show them around and see my boyfriend a bit in the process. We had to buy a couple things, anyways. The place was pretty much dead except for a few late-night stragglers but it was kind of funny having such a big group of people all in different places wandering around the store. I don't know why but I kind of liked the feel of it. There's something kind of satisfying about it to me for some strange reason. We left the place at about 9 or 9:30 and his mother and I went back to his place where I pretty much went straight to bed. I slept for a few hours before my boyfriend accidentally woke me up when he came home, turning on the light and taking his shoes off. He was exhausted-- and after a shift like that, who wouldn't be?-- but at least he was able to get Saturday (my birthday) off, which I was unbelievably pleased to hear. He went to sleep pretty easily but I, on the other hand, had trouble falling back asleep. I kept tossing and turning, my stomach was killing me, and all I could think about was my birthday the next day. I've always gotten relatively anxious on and around my birthday but moreso this year than ever. Ironically enough, it all leads back to my mom. When I was a kid, she treated every holiday and birthday like it was this huge, special event and she'd always go all out. She wanted to make each holiday super fucking special which I understand because they're big days and they deserve to be treated as such but at the same time, it always makes me feel like every holiday needs to be picture perfect and that we need to go all out every year and make a huge deal out of everything. It adds a lot of unnecessary anxiety that I truthfully hate but have no idea how to ever get rid of. This year, however, it was even more than just that looming over my head. My birthday last year was absolutely terrible. I had had a difficult year and was looking forward to wiping the slate clean once I turned 19 only to spend the majority of my birthday stuck in a hospital triage room right across the hallway from the bathroom where some woman was violently puking with the door wide open. My mom had her coworkers at the doctor's office she works at across the street take her blood pressure just out of sheer curiosity and it was something like 200/80 and she was rushed right to the emergency room for fear of having a stroke. It was pretty much the worst birthday of my life both because of how I spent it (from the selfish perspective) and the fact that my mom very much coudld've suffered from a stroke or worse, died. I know the odds of something like that happening again were next to none but at the same time, I just couldn't help but fear that something terrible might happen again. Of course, the car accident on the drive up wasn't great but at least nobody was physically hurt. Not only that, but the thought of turning 20 was terrifying to me. I'm still terrified by it. Teenagerhood is just such a huge part of life, it's such a time of change and experience, that it felt weird leaving it behind and having to admit that I am officially, undoubtedly an adult now. There's no turning back. I'm stuck here and it's just going to continue getting worse and worse from here on out. Nothing made me realize this more than my actual birthday, though. I woke up way too early only to end up going back to sleep and being woken up by his mother (the both of us). We all had plans, important things we needed to take care of. I didn't have the luxury of laying around in my pajamas watching TV all day. Yep, gone are the days of celebrating by doing nothing. Instead, I spent the day doing perhaps the most adult thing ever: househunting. And that's when things really started to hit me. My boyfriend and I drove around in his car with my parents and his mom and my grandma all in her car either following or leading us. It was kind of tedious but more than that, it was terrifying. It wasn't until we were driving around looking at these places that I realized the reality of the situation. I was 20 years old, in a serious relationship, and preparing to get my associate's degree and move out of my parent's house and into an apartment with my boyfriend where I'd be attending a university for an even bigger degree. The reality of that was absolutely horrifying to me not because I don't want that because I do-- believe me, I do-- but more because I don't think I quite realized how grown-up I was becoming before. Now all of a sudden I'm an adult-- really, truly, officially an adult and I have all these adult plans and responsibilities. I just feel like everything came up so quickly and I almost don't know if I'm ready for it all yet. I'm scared. Of course, this didn't help my stomach issues and left me feeling even sicker by the time dinner rolled around. My grandma was getting crabby looking at houses-- she doesn't want me to leave and was making it very difficult to think critically about things considering she was convinced the first place we looked at, some shitty place in the ghetto where someone got shot on the next street over, was the best possible place for us and then even said "I think she should just stay home and finish her four year degree at the college she's at now" to which my dad apparently nearly jumped on her and very frustratedly said "THEY DON'T OFFER WHAT SHE WANTS TO DO HERE" which is very true. They went back to their hotel afterwards but my boyfriend, his mom, and I drove around a bit more afterwards to check out a few other places on our own. Afterwards, we went back to his place to chill for a little bit before leaving for my birthday dinner. I was originally excited because I had made plans to have dinner at one of my favorite Asian restaurants in the area, a super casual place with really great food, but I was honestly so shaken up/panicky that I could barely eat and decided to scrap my plans of having Fat Boy ice cream sandwiches instead of birthday cake afterward. I honestly felt disappointed in myself for feeling the way I did and deciding to call off the celebration like that but at the same time, I knew I wasn't feeling great and that if I pushed my feelings aside and just powered through, I knew I'd get sick which would just completely ruin my birthday. I don't think I've ever vomitted on my birthday and I really hope I never do. Things like that happening on holidays just make me so outraeously nervous, and I know if it ever did happen I'd be traumatized and terrified for every year thereafter that it would happen again (I think it's important to note that I am highly emetophobic). It made me feel even worse considering my cousin and his wife, whose wedding I attended in February, drove down from their nearby town to join us for dinner and such afterwards. This would be the third time we've all been together for some meal-inclusive event, two of which I have ended up feeling sick and panicky like this during (the other being their wedding reception). They insisted on getting these cookies from this place nearby considering the ice cream sandwiches weren't going to happen but I didn't eat any of those, either. After dinner, they followed my parents and grandma back to their hotel in the middle of nowhere (which was honestly really eerie and I hated going there) which my boyfriend and his mother and I went to after stopping at the grocery store to pick up some lottery tickets she insisted I fill out and get for my birthday. Once we got to my parents' hotel, we sat around talking and I opened my presents from my grandma, my boyfriend, and his mother-- my cousin and his wife didn't get me anything and I opened the stuff from my parents the night before we left. After my cousin and his wife left, we stuck around for a little while longer where the conversation took a very discomforting turn. Somehow we got on the subject of deadly injuries to which my dad outlined in great detail his major accident back in the 1980s when he nearly lost his arm in a printing press. I've heard the story before but he went into great detail with the help of my grandmother about all the disgusting things I really didn't want to hear about on my birthday with an already queasy stomach. We left shortly after to go back to my boyfriend's place where we sat up and watched about five episodes of Rick and Morty together (neither of us had ever watched it before but decided to give it a shot, after my boyfriend convinced me through it's parody-ness of Back to the Future) before heading to bed which I started feeling a little better after but still not great. I hated waking up Sunday morning knowing I would have to leave that day and my stomach still wasn't feeling great when I first woke up, but after a while I started to come around a little bit. My parents and grandma had already eaten breakfast at their hotel and after checking out, drove around town a bit looking at some of the other places they didn't get to see yesterday and reconsidering some of the places they did see. By the time my boyfriend and I woke up and got ready, it was nearly noon and we hadn't eaten anything yet that day so we met up with my family at a local McDonalds to get something to eat and then met up back at my boyfriend's place to start packing our stuff into the car and get ready to head out. I hated leaving but I knew I had no choice. My boyfriend had to be into work at 2pm anyways so we left right before he had to leave, anyways. I didn't cry this time but I was definitely still extremely sad to say goodbye to him. All I really wanted to do was just stay in bed all day with him and try and nurse my stomach back to health but I knew that wasn't possible. He had work that afternoon and I had class the next day. So long as I was leaving, though, once I was in the car I wanted nothing more than to be home as soon as possible. I was cramped in the backseat yet again and this time my grandma was even crabbier than she had been before (even though she had honestly been crabby all weekend between the apartment issue, the university comment, and some other things: we were looking at this one place and she said some snarky remark to me about "You've got champagne taste but a beer wallet" insinuating that just because I had a limited budget to spend on housing that I had to live somewhere crappy or something [I just about jumped on her when she said that honestly]; at the hotel after opening my presents, I kept begging everyone to please stop talking about the gross shit because I was already nauseous and was starting to feel even sicker, to which my grandma said I needed to be stronger and started going off on this morality rant about how even though we've all been through shit, just proves we need to be stronger or something; that last one ties into something she said on the car ride home. She was commenting on my nervous stomach issues again (and my anxiety) and told me that if I didn't get over it, I'd never get to my mom's age or something as if she was insinuating that I'd die if I kept this stuff up. As if that is supposed to calm my anxiety. I nearly jumped on her then, too, and both my mom and my boyfriend's could see I was pissed but I held my tongue, took a shot of my water, and just folded my arms across my chest and leaned back in my seat. If anything, I felt bad for my boyfriend's mother-- she had never really experienced my grandmother's ultimate bitchiness firsthand before but now she knows what we have to put up with-- she was telling me how the woman was just complaining about every little thing the entire time we were driving around looking at places to rent.). The drive home felt even longer than ever, though, which didn't help. We stopped at the halfway point to get an early dinner at one of my dad's favorite Irish pubs, to which I ordered some great mac-n-cheese and ate quite a bit of it (more than I ever had before, truthfully) but even after getting some of my appetite back then, I still felt icky on the ride home. I was so terrified that the dinner wasn't going to agree with my stomach and I'd get sick or something. I think the fact we were in my grandma's car didn't help since it has a very distinct and very disgusting new car smell that was a trademark of any car my late grandpop owned considering he was a mechanic and took pride in his car. I vomited in his car once when I was really little and ever since, that smell has always made me nauseated. I definitely think that was a factor in my nervousness this past weekend, as well. But anyways, I kept trying to nap on the drive home but was never really all that successful. There was one brief period where my mom and I both fell asleep, which my boyfriend's mother got a picture of and sent to my boyfriend, but other than that, every other attempt was pretty futile. By the time we got home, the sun was just setting and everyone filed out back to their own living spaces pretty quickly. My grandma and boyfriend's mother said goodbye and went back home and my parents and I filed back into our rooms to unpack and get some sleep. Unfortunately, because of me, they got less sleep than they should've. Knowing I was starting my summer classes the next day, I logged onto my school account to make sure everything was squared away and prepared for the upcoming week of classes. However, when I got onto Canvas, the class that was supposed to start tonight was never published. In fact, it had completely disappeared as if it had never been there in the first place. I seriously panicked, my first instinct being "oh my god it was cancelled." I checked my student email and sure enough, there was a message in there from Thursday night saying the class had been cancelled due to low enrollment. Needless to say, I fucking panicked. I lost my shit. I had spent such time meticulously trying to plan out my schedule and make everything work, make all the classes fit together like perfect puzzle pieces, and then the school goes and pulls this shit. There was no way I'd be able to slide with only three classes, either. I needed those credits. I basically barged into my parents room and woke them up screaming crying, having a total panic attack. I was at a loss. I had no idea what the fuck to do. So much was weighing on this semester that any fuck up whatsoever could cost me so much and affect not only myself but my boyfriend, too. There was way too much at stake. My mom and dad ended up coming into my room to try and figure what was going on and what had happened, and how to fix it, when I tearfully checked the course catalog and found a Spanish class that was at the same time on the same days for the same period of time as the other class I was registered for. I didn't really want to take a Spanish class after having already fulfiled the foreign language requirement for my degree in high school (I took three years of Spanish freshman through junior year) but it was the only thing that would work. Now my big concern was whether it would fulfill the elective credits I still needed. I figured it would since I couldn't imagine it fitting in anywhere else but at the same time, I wasn't entirely sure of anything anymore and was honestly very skeptical. Signing up for this class when I did, however, meant I had to prepare for the class in less than 24 hours which was definitely way more stressful than I needed. I paid for the class as soon as possible and spent the entire day running around like a chicken with it's head cut off trying to get shit straightened out. I had to fix my schedule page in my binder, get all my notebooks for all my classes which I didn't have time to do last week, print out the original receipt for the books I ordered, pick up the books I ordered from the campus bookstore, get a refund on the one for the class I was signed up for and purchase the book for the Spanish course instead, and then actually go to the Spanish class on top of some personal shit like washing my sheets, washing myself, and picking up the dog from the kennel he was staying in over the weekend. By the time everything was finished and I had checked out all the books I needed, I had fifteen minutes to get to class. I made it there in time, thank god, but apparently my teacher did not. She showed up about ten minutes late which sent me in a panic because there were signs on the door about cancelled Spanish classes and I was honestly so freaking terrified that one of them was for mine. I didn't have the strength to go through that again. The only reassuring thing was the fact that there were other people from my class standing outside waiting for the teacher, as well. I felt nothing short of relief when she finally did show up, and then struggled through the entire rest of the class with how dreadfully bored I was. The thing I never quite realized/expected fully was the reality of taking a class about material you already know, though. It was weird because all of this stuff was so familiar to me and yet at the same time, it's been three years since I've taken a Spanish class, just about, and I realized that there were a lot of things I had forgotten, too. I never really kept up with it after school so my retention slowly declined. Or maybe it was just that I was incredibly tired and sore all over from god only knows what and was fighting sleep the entire time. Probably a little of both, to be honest. Either way, the entire day was a fucking whirlwind and now I know i have to go back tomorow even earlier and do the class thing all over again. It's terrible, honestly, though. First day in and I'm already dead tired and wanting to quit. A part of me deep down just wants to quit, to give up, but I know I can't. I feel strange and uncomfortable taking summer classes, knowing all the public school kids will be out for summer in a week or so meanwhile I'll be stuck in classrooms doing schoolwork until August. It almost feels like some parallel dimension or vivid fever dream where nothing is quite right and everything feels nauseatingly uncomfortable. In a way, I almost somehow feel like I'm back in high school again. That's really weird and makes absolutely no sense but it's true. I feel weird and uncomfortable and unnerved and I know deep down it's not just about the summer classes. It's about everything. There's so many changes going on these days and everything is happening so quickly, I don't quite know how to handle all of it, to tell you the truth. Everyone is leaving, including myself, and it feels like everything I've known and held familiar is slipping through my fingers. Before long, my room will be empty and I'll be living 300 miles away from my parents, a totally independent adult. Nothing will ever be the same again and that's terrifying. Everything is just happening so fast. I know I keep saying that-- at this point I feel like I need a Ferris Bueller cameo-- but it's true. Everything is moving so fucking fast.
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Jeffrey and his dear ol ma and pa find a sleepy little hotel in some small town on theyr way to see cousin randall up north young jeff has been against the trip from the start he says it interferes with his partying and he doesn’t really relate to people who sleep. As his parents drift off and he is left to his thoughts his mind begins to race. He finds the down time unbearable and hes nearly chewed a hole threw his tounge. Suddenly he bolts upright in bed He turns to where his parents are sleeping and yells “yo dad psssst pops where the party at? what the hell you sleepin for are you a lazy fuckin bum or something??” His father a costumed to jeffs shenanigans calmly retorts back “Son shut your fucking mouth its 1 a.m” Damn … well I tried. Jeff says to himself as he lays back down. Thoughts of hoodrat shit le cigarettes honkey tonks and hangin with blue collar gentlemen and rollin bolo back home streak across his mind he remembers the good times digging through trash staring at radio tower lights all night with ol boy Jr all the lurpage that’s going on back at the trap without him and all the fun hes missing out on. Fuck it he swings out of bed and makes his way to the bathroom “ight pops get to sleep you lazy fuck ill be in the bathroom probably jerkin my gerkin till sunrise Oh ill try to act surprised when you bust in at 3am to take a piss but no promises after the 4th time it loses its excitement and after the last one remember when I was trying to hit a bolo and slap my sausage at the same time well it just want the same . After that I kinda just put it off as one of those thing that happen Anyway if you ever decide to stop being lame and show some interest in the finer things in this life well you know where to find me I got the firest dope in the whole trailer park this shit will fuuuuuck your whole life it aint dope if it doesn’t make you regret all your life choices take a hit of this and you will come out of your zone 5 years later you will notice your in an r.v and theres pictures hanging up of you and a dog eating wedding cake together you are wearing a huge white dress but whats this .. No it couldn’t be the dog is in a tux and you realize that dog in the picture that dog eating cake with you …That’s now your husband and that’s when it hits you … you realize how good that fucking dope was and your like duuuude im so glad my son let me party with him that night so dad in conclusion come on don’t you wanna have some good friendly fun with crystal meth . Jeffs father has become a bit triggered after hearing another weird fucking story that probably came about from some fucked hallucination jeff accidentally filed under reality Jeffs dad says “Son im not and I never ever will join in on your weird fucked up activities iv seen enough I don’t want to dabble in anymore of your tweakery than I have to” Well dad that’s on you and if those are the kind of selfish choices you want to make in life then I cant tell you what to do just remember im not mad im just disappointed now give me the wifi password so I can go set up headquarters and get some videos buffered up its gonna be long night nuts don’t bust themselves it’s a lot of hard work and blood and sweat and tears. Jeff grabs the wifi password and locks himself in the bathroom. AHHHHH bliss I should get paid for this he chuckles to himself before getting down to business first things first he pulls out his pookie and blows the fattest cloud on record. Then its time. He is focused like hes on a mission from god. After he stretches and gets in the zone The suddle slapping of a monkey is the only noise heard throughout the night. Hours pass by but to jeff time is only made up it does not exist in his reality A thump against the door startles him out of focus and breaks the steady pattern of fapping goddamit jeff whispers . the door crashes open as his dad comes in rubs his eyes and realizes whats going on “oh for god sake son your gonna rub your godamn dick off at this rate if you spent as much time collecting pennies off the ground as you do peddlin on your pecker iv swear Iv become numb to all this shit I ll probably walk in next time and you will be bent over the sink reaching an arm back fingerboppin your asshole what do you wan… Dad …dad jeff interrupts his fathers breakdown to ask an important question “WHAT???!!! JEFF what is it” uhhhhh I wanted to ask you if it was normal for a shaft to go numb…. Not me though my penis is healthy . Im asking for a friend. jeffs father has a distant stare on his face as he shakes his head slowly back in forth and scratches at his hair “OK YOU WIN JEFF never have I heard of anyone BOMBING THE FUGGIN universe as much as you have in one day every time I think it cant get anymore disappointing you proceed to bypass your previous shame by miles. You are the definition of a terminal illness growing like a godamn tumor. Don’t get up from your throne I wouldn’t wanna come between you and the only true passion iv ever seen you have for anything. Ill just piss outside oh and to let you in on a little something something your mom explained last night her growing dislike towards you its not about the drugs or trannies you brought to grandmas last month its “THAT stupid fucking look on your face your always making she cant stand it and if it continues to intrude on her life she will have to take a hammer and bash it until it caves in on itself the bright side is we can go to the Halloween store and pick you out a mask. Think of it like that show where they tear apart those shitty houses and make them look amazing…. But hey maybe it wont come to that just practice in the mirror son try really hard to not look retarded I know just be strong if anything just think about that Halloween mask you will get to wear. Jeff sighs…. Oh my good godamn I see how it is I figured something was fishy but didn’t look into it due to a mix up in differentiating between pychosis and my incredible intuition. see I pick up on small things that the normal person would never even think about but due to paranoia and sleep deprivation sometimes I just confuse red flags as my own made up dellusion. Ya know whaa….But there was no point explaining the situation to his dad for the old man must of lost focus and walked off right at the beginning…. Well some people just don’t function on this high of a brain frequency almost makes ya feel sorry for em. They cant help being fools. Oh well I got other shit to take care of important stuff . He quickly makes a calculation in his head and decides if he cannot climax by sun up he will go to the doctor but 150 google searches 300 different adult websites and an undetermined number of computer viruses Young jeff finaly got the sweet satisfaction he had set out to find he let out a sigh of relief although it was short lived because as soon as his heels touched back down on the bathroom floor his legs both cramped and jeff let out a horrific scream as he crumbled to the ground. after dragging the lower half of his body across the bathroom and crawling over into the bathtub he dove deep into his mind body and spirit….. Bingo “ I should just sit next time im whoopin the worm that way my legs don’t get weak and I don’t lose feeling in my lower extremities next time I bust a nut” suddenly he felt a lot better about things see most people wouldn’t take the time to figure out why life dealt such a hard blow but not jeff he took in every factor anlysed the situation and he aint gonna make the same mistake more than maybe 3 times . So there he sat waiting for his leg muscles to return to the correct places. Hmmmmm “you like that you like it when people get injured while jerking off as you watch the whole thing and laugh about later with your no good hippie step son”!!!he began pondering the existence of god he flipped his pecker like some toy from a souvenir shop it helped him think smarter he wondered if even though he had no faith in the holy spirit and was not a believer why it felt so good to talk shit to god maybe im having a spiritual awakening or just need somebody to blame. Ah maybe I should pray perhaps prayer is just another method of begging .The man upstairs sounds like the haggling type of son a bitch maybe hes into horse trades. Then jeff did something he aint never done before he bowed his head stopped playing with his damn pecker put his hands together and prayed “Lord I don’t know if your listening but im in some trouble nothing too bad but… just please if you hear this gimme some feeling in my legs back I learned my lesson I heard somewhere theres no choking the chicken in heaven I know it cant be true though because what would heaven be if you couldn’t beat your meat every now and again. Anyway maybe that whole leg cramp thing was a god given sign of some sort but it was totally unnecessary now Iv not been on too good terms with you because back a couple months or so when I lost that portable dvd player under a truck wheel in the driveway and getting crushed. I blamed joe joe bean for the longest time but considering the holy spirit in charge of shit around here is you I figure you’re the sorry son a bitch that put joe joe up to something like that.
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