#had no memory of doing so until I opened drafts just now
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Our reality is a simulation designed to test whether it would be better or worse to change the social conventions so that shaking hands with someone no longer requires doing a full thumb war with them (which is how they do it in the real world, and you can't do a half-assed one just to get it out of the way, both of you have to be really trying your best). They're thinking of getting rid of that to save time but they're doing this simulation to see if there would be unexpected downsides. It's vitally important from our perspective that not too many people know about this because then it would corrupt the data and they'll shut us down early. I'm posting about it here because it's not a big deal if some people know, but I'm not sure exactly where the line is so obviously use your best judgement when talking about this.
#apparently I wrote this draft at 2:54 AM the night before last#had no memory of doing so until I opened drafts just now#I feel half-and-half about publishing it because I don't wanna encourage bedtime-me in this kind of sleep-disruptive behaviour#but my sleepy self clearly had a vision and I'd feel bad using my wakey privilege to silence them#this time I'm gonna allow it#uninteresting
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âł whoops! âł sae itoshi x fem!reader âł sfw âł jealousy, language, kind of a creepy dude, subtle allusions to fwb, my writing
Ⳡsae itoshi⊠the man you are⊠this idea literally smacked me in the face so i opted to ignore my 7+ drafts and whip it up :P thank you so much for reading and i hope you enjoy! <3
â⊠oh, and did i tell you about my time with atlĂ©tico madrid? boy, the sheer amount of sprained ankles i had to deal withâŠâ
you barely suppressed the urge to roll your eyes. how long had this dude been prattling on? you know heâd told you his name, and something about being a retired physical therapist, but truthfully, that was all the information you had retained since he started talking to you. seriously, you just wanted to watch the damn game.
âthatâs fascinating.â you cut him off, eyes trained on the bodies undulating across the field. well, more specifically, trained on one bodyâŠ
â⊠and sae takes complete control of the midfield! look at him go, heâs unstoppable!â
your heart fluttered inside your chest and your gut heated as some rather lewd memories crept their way into your central vortex. you hadnât even known locker rooms could be so⊠enticing before your hookup with sae.
youâd been so focused on watching sae in his element (and daydreaming) that you hadnât even noticed when the man scooted closer to you â at least not until you felt the heat of his thigh smushed against yours, made much more noticeable by the chilly bite of october.
you snapped your eyes to the man to glare at him â he continued to drone on about something as if he hadnât just invaded your personal bubble. you huffed and slid your ass down the bench, disconnecting his thigh from yours. your skin was starting to crawl, and where the dude had once been perceived as annoying he now was coming off as creepy.
you hoped that your disinterest in the conversation and your very obvious attempt at putting distance between the two of you would spell out your rejection to him â but it clearly didnât, or maybe he just wasnât speaking the same language as you, because he simply closed the distance once more.
âwhat about some coffee? would you want to go grab coffee with me some time?â
you were just about to open your lips to verbalize your rejection (and tell him off for his clear disrespect) when the words were stolen right from your mouth â by the sudden impact of a ball right to the side of the manâs face.
you couldnât stop the shocked gasp that ripped through your throat as the man fell backwards off the bench with a yell of pain. you could just see some crimson splatters atop the silver of the metal stands, and for a moment, your brain completely stopped.
âand sae itoshi sends a ball flying straight into the stands! like a rocket it split through the air â oh my god, is that man okay?!â
the announcerâs sudden exclamation had you immediately whipping your attention to the field, eyes connecting with saeâs almost instantly. he stood tall on the field, one hand atop a cocked hip, and with a shrug he mouthed one word;
âwhoops.â
do i really believe sae would send a ball straight into the face of anyone who gets too gutsy with his girl? yes. yes i do. thank you so much for reading, and any likes, comments or reblogs are not required but are so very appreciated!
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Aim for the Sky Part 22 | Rooster x Reader
Summary: After weeks of looking forward to a quiet day with you and Rose, Bradley almost messes up his own Father's Day celebration. He's lucky you're quick to forgive him. Every day with his daughter is a collection of moments he wants to commit to memory. Every day with you makes him fall more in love.
Warnings: Fluff, angst, adult language, lactation kink, blowjob, DILF Roo
Length: 3800 words
Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader
Aim for the Sky masterlist. This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order.
"Do you have any big plans for Sunday? For Bradley's first Father's Day?"
You looked up from your computer when you realized Cat was talking to you. Truthfully, you did have plans, but they weren't big at all. Your husband just kept telling you that all he wanted was to spend the day with just the three of you.
"Isn't it kind of Jake's first Father's Day, too?" you countered with a grin. When Cat sputtered instead of actually answering, you felt like you'd won this wrong of proverbial chess against a master. "It's okay... you don't have to admit it out loud, but I just know Jake is exceeding all of your expectations."
She dropped down into the seat next to you and leaned in like she was afraid someone else might be listening. "He took Jer to the park with Bradley and Rose the other evening."
"I know," you replied with a laugh. "I needed to clean my house, so I kicked Bradley out and told him to call his bestie, Jake."
Cat looked a little panicked now. "No, you don't understand. I can trust him to take care of Jeremiah."
"Yeah... that's good, right?"
"I don't know!" she hissed. "When I moved to California, it was my intention to never ever get involved with a man again. Just me and Jer. And then when he went away to college, I was going to start collecting exotic pets or something."
You tried not to laugh. "Yeah, Jake kind of ruined that agenda for you, huh?" She buried her face in her hands, and to your surprise, she started crying. You glanced around the lab, but Macy wasn't paying any attention as you put your arm around Cat's shoulders. You were very confused as you whispered, "Are you okay?"
Cat's dark eyes were wet with tears as she met your gaze while somehow shaking her head and nodding at the same time. Her voice was raspy and uneven as she said, "He bought an engagement ring."
"Jake proposed?" you gasped, ready to jump out of your seat. You knew for a fact he wanted to, but he kept saying he didn't think the time was exactly right yet.Â
"No. I found the ring. He's terrible at hiding things."
You sat quietly for a minute while she worked at getting herself under control, but then more questions started to formulate in your mind. "I know this isn't where you saw yourself, Cat. I know trusting Jake after leaving your ex is something you've struggled with, but if you love him, then what's holding you back?"
Her fingertips were pressed to her lips, and her hand was shaking. You weren't sure she had even heard your question as she stared off into space and said, "I can't even accurately describe it, because it was so pretty. The diamond was huge. Absolutely enormous. Obviously expensive." She paused and pulled away from you, opening her computer like she didn't just let herself fall apart on your shoulder. "And I have nothing to offer except a child that isn't biologically his and a crippling amount of debt that I'll probably never see the end of." When you opened your mouth to respond, she slammed her computer shut again and said, "And now I'm late to meet with Bickel," before rushing out of the lab.
You stared at the door for a few seconds before you took your phone out and started to draft up a text for Cat. You didn't see her again for the rest of the day, and you didn't send the text until you got home with Bradley and Rose. But you meant every word of it.
You're tenacious and strong, and that's worth a lot more than money. You're the kind of person someone would want to buy a big diamond for.
------------------------------
"Why is everything so expensive?" Bradley muttered to himself. "Holy hell."
He was trying to plan out the few days he would have alone with you when your parents came out again for Independence Day. Going back to the oceanfront boutique hotel in La Jolla where you and he had celebrated his birthday two years ago was going to cost a fortune over the holiday.
"Rose isn't going to need money for college anyway," he mused, shrugging at his phone before charging the room to his credit card for three nights. His daughter was going to be a genius. She was already so strong, trying her best to roll over and getting better at holding her head up without support. Suddenly he needed to see her.
Bradley tossed his phone aside and headed for the nursery where you were feeding Rose in the glider chair. When you looked up at him expectantly, he said, "I missed you."
Your gaze was soft as he sat down on the floor next to your feet. "We were with you ten minutes ago."
"Ten minutes ago? No wonder I was getting so lonely," he whispered, reaching out to run his finger along the back of Rose's hand. "Hey, Nugget."
She paused, lips pursed, before she continued eating. It was unreal how adorable she was. Bradley could look at his daughter all day long and never grow tired. He could look at your tits dripping milk all day long, too.
"Let me burp her," he said, making grabby hands as soon as she started to slow down. "It's my favorite."
You handed Rose, who was already dressed in her sleeper, to him, kissing him on the cheek as you stood. "Should I just keep these out for you?" The way you gestured at your breasts left a smile on his face.
"Please. I would very much enjoy it if you did."
You stretched your arms over your head and said, "I'll meet you either in the shower or in bed." Then you were gone, and he was excited to burp the baby and then do whatever you let him do to you.
"Let's see if we can get a nice, big burp out of you so you'll sleep for a few hours," he muttered, pulling one of the many storybooks down from the shelf from his spot on the floor. He'd read every book in the room to her multiple times already, and he couldn't wait until she started to have favorites. Tonight he read about a dragon while he patted and rubbed her back, pausing every page or two to kiss her soft cheek.
She was yawning by the last page of the book, and she did indeed burp for him. When he set her gently in her crib, Bradley whispered, "I can't believe I get to be your dad." He stood there, leaning on the side of the crib until he was certain she was asleep, then he headed for his own bedroom, unzipping his pants along the way.
Bradley found you naked in bed, fresh from the shower and rubbing lotion all over your legs. It was such a mundane yet intimate thing for him to watch, and you didn't realize he was in the doorway yet. "Get in bed," you told Tramp, nodding toward the fluffy mat he slept on next to the bathroom door. "You can't play with Rosie any more tonight. I'm sorry, but she needs to go to sleep after Daddy finishes reading to her."
"I'm finished reading to her."
Your gaze met his as your palms went gliding up your thighs, and you smiled a little shyly at him. Then you reached for the sheet like you were going to try to cover yourself, and he headed for the bed.
"Please don't, Baby Girl," he whispered. "I was really enjoying that view."
You paused and let your eyes drift down his body. "Get undressed and come here."
He did not need you to ask him twice. Bradley yanked his jeans off and tossed them aside followed by his tee shirt and his boxer briefs. You giggled when he climbed into bed in just his socks and hovered above you like he was going to do push ups with his hands planted next to your shoulders.
When he lowered himself down to give you a kiss, you raked your fingers through his hair. He knew there was no hiding how hard he was getting, so he didn't bother. He just pressed himself against you while you licked his bottom lip.
"You're really horny, Roo," you murmured, and he simply nodded. You let one hand drift down along his scarred cheek, and then you were touching your tits.Â
He was salivating immediately. He could practically smell you. White beads of your milk formed on your nipples as you gently squeezed yourself, and he whimpered your name. His cock was tapping against your thigh in excitement as he lowered himself down to kiss your lips again.
"It's okay," you whispered. "I know you want to. Go ahead."
Bradley sighed and came to rest on his elbows, letting his mouth meet your nipples.
-------------------------------
You spent all day Saturday running to three different grocery stores to buy ingredients for Bradley's Father's Day picnic lunch. It cost a small fortune to get everything you needed to make chicken salad sandwiches on homemade bread, a charcuterie board, fruit salad, and brownies. Your plan was to get up very early on Sunday to start making everything, but now Bradley's words made you feel like you were going to cry.
"I'm playing golf in the morning."
He was so nonchalant about it, you thought perhaps he was joking at first. But his expression showed a tiny bit of alarm and remorse, and you knew he was actually ditching you and Rose on Father's Day.
When you spoke, you hated how small your voice sounded. "You said all you wanted was a day with just the three of us."
"I do!" he insisted, reaching for you and pulling you close. "That's all I want. I promise I'll be home by lunchtime."
With that, you excused yourself to go to bed. You didn't bother to set an alarm, because what was the point? Rose would wake you up when she started crying her lungs out to eat, and Bradley would already be gone with Jake, Javy and Reuben. Honestly, you would have thought Jake would want to be home with Cat and Jer, and now you were mad at him, too. You thought about texting him but turned your phone screen side down on your nightstand and tossed your glasses aside instead.
A few minutes later, Bradley climbed in bed as well, and you could feel him trying to coax you closer. "I love you," he whispered, but you stayed curled up in a ball until you fell asleep.
Sure enough, he was gone when you woke up. You didn't even bother changing out of your pajamas to feed Rose. Your plans to wear a cute sundress seemed pointless now as you tried to appease your cranky daughter while you made chicken salad and baked a small loaf of bread.
"You'd probably calm down if your dad were here," you mused, handing her toy after toy only for her to push them all away. Finally Tramp had mercy on you and plopped down next to her on her play mat for a few minutes.
Of course the picnic foods looked absolutely perfect, and you struggled to get Rose burped and down for a late morning nap. "I swear you don't act like this for him," you groaned, fighting the urge to start crying. You'd been feeling better over the past few weeks. Your body was becoming more your own again, even though you were still sharing it with your daughter. The birth control and the healing time were certainly helping, but right now, you and Rose came in second place to a round of golf. On Father's Day.
She spit up all over you before she fell asleep, forcing you to change into your dress anyway. The wrapped present on the coffee table along with the homemade card were enough to make you set a timer for noon. If he wasn't back, you were going to eat the meal yourself. Your stomach was already growling.
But Bradley came through the door at 11:58 wearing gym shorts and a tank top with his aviators low on his nose. "Sweetheart," he said, sounding a little bit out of breath as he headed your way. "You look pretty."
Did he think you were stupid? You got up from the couch and turned off the timer. "Where were you, Bradley? Because you weren't playing golf dressed like that."
His cheeks flushed pink at the same time you noticed something wrapped around his right bicep. When he held his arm out to his side, you gasped.
"Why didn't you just tell me that's where you were going?" you whispered, tears burning your eyes. You felt frustrated and embarrassed that you got upset in the first place.
"I wanted to surprise you," he murmured, wrapping his left arm around your waist. "I've been waiting to do this since you told me you were pregnant." You buried your face against his chest and let yourself cry. "Shit. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I said I was golfing. I panicked when they called me back and said they could fit me in this morning. I just really wanted to get my second paper plane as soon as possible."
He held you tight with both arms wrapped around you. "You said you just wanted a day with your girls, and I planned a picnic and got you a present, and then you said you wanted to fucking play golf," you sobbed. "Next time just tell me you're getting another tattoo, okay? Because now when you say you're going golfing, I'm going to think you're getting another one anyway."
"Hey," Bradley rasped, tilting your chin so you were looking up at him. "I'm spending the rest of today with my girls. That really is all I wanted to do today. I'm sorry I lied to you. I feel terrible about it now." His brown eyes were sincere which made you feel a lot better, and now you weren't mad at Jake anymore.
"Can I see it?" you whispered, and he immediately started to unwrap his arm. Right there next to the large paper airplane that had Baby Girl written across it was a smaller one that said Rose in the same script. "God, Roo. It's perfect."
"Just like my girls."
----------------------------
Okay, so he came within an inch of completely fucking things up on Father's Day. It wasn't like he planned it that way. He wasn't even sure why he said he was going to play golf. None of his friends would even make a tee time on Father's Day and include him. Or Jake for that matter. Plus, Bradley was fucking terrible at lying. He felt apprehensive the entire time he was getting the tattoo done.
It didn't even really matter if you knew about it ahead of time, but he wanted it to be a surprise declaration of his love for his family. Instead he made you stress out and cry, because of course you had a whole fucking day planned. You loved him that much.
He was right there with you and Rose for the rest of the afternoon. He changed her diapers and helped you pack up the food along with a bottle of pink champagne that was tucked way back behind everything else in the refrigerator. He carried everything out to the Bronco and got both of you buckled in. Then he started driving where you told him to.
"Are we going to our wedding venue?" he asked after a few minutes, and you started laughing.
"Is that what we're calling the parking lot?"
"Sweetheart. That's our wedding venue." Rose hadn't been to that beach yet, and now he was excited. So excited. "Rosie, we're going to show you where Mommy first kissed me and fell so in love that she's incapable of being mad at me even though I didn't tell her I was going to get tattooed this morning."
Now you were laughing harder, and you turned his playlist up a little louder, and the sun felt a little brighter. When he pulled into the parking lot, he backed into the spot where you became his wife, and then he strapped Rose into her baby carrier against his chest.
Bradley watched you pull Rosie's little sun hat out of the diaper bag, and you kissed her nose before putting it on her head. "Don't want you to get too much sun." Then you led the way down the rocky path to the sand below where you spread out a beach blanket. You tugged Bradley's hand until he was on his knees, and then you kissed his nose as well. "Don't want you getting too much sun either."
When he remembered the sunburn he got the day of Mickey's birthday kegger, he shuddered, but you were already squeezing some sunblock onto your hands and smoothing it along his face. You smiled when you got some in his mustache, and Bradley leaned closer to kiss you, and then he didn't want to stop. You ended up on your back on the blanket with sunblock on your nose while Bradley cradled Rose's head.
"Happy first Father's Day," you whispered, running your fingers up inside his sleeve to touch the wrapping around his bicep. "Rose is lucky you're her daddy."
The lunch you made was absolutely perfect. Bradley couldn't remember ever having homemade bread before, and he ate two sandwiches in a row. You and he drank the champagne from the bottle on the blanket before walking down to the water. Your tipsy giggles as he dipped Rose's toes in the water made him smile.
"She hates it!" you cackled when Rose pulled her legs up and wailed. Bradley lowered her down again when the next wave came in, and she pulled her feet away from the water once again.
"Aww, Daddy's sorry," he said, lifting her up and flying her around in the air like a plane to get her to calm down. "I'll take you to Virginia Beach where the water is warmer," he promised. "And we can go to the cemetery and visit Grampy Goose and Grandma Carole. How does that sound?"
His daughter looked much happier at the prospect of warmer water and more time with grandparents. Even though Bradley was here with his family, he couldn't help but think about everything he missed out on. Everything he was still missing out on.Â
He never had a dad to fly him around or dip his toes in the water, at least not that he could remember. All he could recall were glimpses of laughter and being lifted out of his crib. He could almost hear a voice, but he wasn't sure if it was even Nick's or if his memory was playing a trick on him.
Bradley held onto Rose a little tighter as you let your head rest on his shoulder. Your voice was soft, barely loud enough for him to hear you over the waves. "I wish I could have met them. I wish they were here to see you with Rose."
He knew one thing for a fact. "They would have loved this little Nugget."
----------------------------
Quite effortlessly, Bradley led you back up the rocks while he carried Rose and all the gear. As soon as the sun started to set, the wind picked up and the air got chilly. Even though you nursed Rose, you knew she was going to need to eat again so she could fall asleep.
"Oh, you still have to unwrap your present," you told Bradley when you got home and walked past the living room table.
"Right now?" he asked with a smirk.
"If you want to."
He started to take your shirt off, and you ducked out of his grasp with a laugh. "Not me!"
"I don't want anything else though," he rasped, still reaching for you, but you pushed him toward Rose on her play mat instead.
"She needs a quick bath while you open your present, and then I'll give you a blowjob after she's in her crib."
"Hell yes," Bradley muttered, scooping up the baby and the wrapped gift and heading for the bathroom. You filled up Rosie's little tub, and he set her down in the water then started unwrapping the present but keeping his attention mostly on his daughter.Â
"Do you like it?" you asked over your shoulder, and then he realized he was holding a book. A book about him and you and Rose and Tramp.
Bradley flipped through the pages, staring in awe at the cartoon versions of his family. Each of you had been drawn as a superhero, and even the sketched version of Tramp was wearing a little red cape.
"This is the cutest thing I have ever seen. How did you get this?"
"I had it made," you told him. "I sent photos of all of us to a local artist, and she created the book for you."
"Damn," he whispered, tears in his eyes as he looked at each page again. "I'm such a sappy mess now, I swear." Then he sat down on the floor next to you while you rinsed the sand from Rose's tiny feet and started to read the book out loud. "Once upon a time, the Super Bradshaw Family was just about to eat dinner when Super Dad Bradley's phone rang. The city of San Diego needed help, and there was nobody better to turn to."
The story was fun, and the drawings were silly, and he just knew Rose would probably adore this book when she got a little bit older. And he was so lucky he had a wife who did things like turn him into a cartoon superhero for Father's Day and make him a four course picnic lunch.
He also had a wife who dropped to her knees as soon as they were alone. You looked up at him as you pulled his shorts and underwear down to his thighs, kissing his cock as you whispered, "There's my Super Daddy Bradley."
He grinned as he pulled his shirt off as well, enjoying how pretty you looked below his flat abs with your hand cupping his balls. "You absolutely own me, Baby Girl. I'm a fucking wreck for you. I'm all tattooed for my girls now. If you want me to be your Super Daddy, you know I will be."
You licked your lips and parted them, and then Bradley was in heaven.
---------------------------------
I need Jer to have a dad. I need it in my bones. I also need Bradley to have a sensational 38th birthday before he packs his bags and goes to La Jolla with his wife for three days in bed. Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls
PART 23
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#bradley bradshaw x reader#rooster x you#rooster x reader#rooster imagine#rooster fanfiction#bradley rooster bradshaw imagine#bradley rooster bradshaw x reader#bradley rooster bradshaw fanfiction#bradley rooster bradshaw#bradley bradshaw#bradley bradshaw imagine#bradley bradshaw x you#bradley bradshaw x female reader#bradley bradshaw fanfiction#top gun imagine#top gun maverick imagine#top gun fanfiction#top gun maverick fanfiction#roosterforme#aim for the sky
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i think this would suit lando but you being down and lando comes over later at night and takes you the park like two little kids, i can just imagine lando being a big kid at the park lmao
Iâm going to need someone to love me like the fictional lando i write abt 24/7
We Can Be Kids For Right Now (LN4)
Summary: When her week has tried to suffocate her, Lando turns up at her door and forces her to remember just how worthy she truly is.
Warnings: mentions of heavy anxiety attacks, anxiety in general, language
Note: a draft bc im wrecked rn from this trip im on im so tried lol⊠I hate that I have to start saying this but I do not condone the reposting of my work without proper crediting or permission. If you wish to post my works elsewhere, it needs to be ran by me first by messages over Tumblr. If found that you have taken my works without my knowledge, I will report you and get my posts taken down from your blog.
Y/n never truly realized she did it until Lando, but when the man started to get close to her, he brought it to her attention that she so easily isolated herself when she started struggling. Even the smallest inconvenience and she shut down, something that irritated the hell out of Lando. Nevertheless, he loved her and the way she dealt with her emotions was something he knew she just needed to work on.
However, the problem they couldnât get past was her ability to tell him when she was struggling. There were only so many times when he could see it written all over her face.
His comments urging her to open up to him when she was having a hard time dealing with it on her own bounced around in her head as she clutched her phone in her hands, his contact picture brightening her screen. His smile beamed back at her, almost coaxing her into tapping the call button, but her thumb hesitated. It wasnât that she was afraid of telling him, it was that she was uncomfortable with her own emotions. Uncomfortable of leaning into them. Growing up, she was never given that ability, her parents not having the full capacity to address them head on. She never thought it truly affected her until Lando. She started realizing that he never gave her a problem to be scared, but she still was.
Her thumb had a mind of its own, though. Thankfully. And the ringing tone met her ears before she could even know what was happening. His picking up happened before she could even begin to think about hanging up the phone.
âBaby!â His cheery voice rang through the quiet room and warmed her tender heart. âWhatâs up? Why are you up so late? Do you want a sweet treat again?â He giggled, his TV pausing in the background.
She was silent. Her mind raced as she tried to make the split second decision of telling him or not. Though, in her silence, he began formulating an answer.
âY/nâŠâ He whispered, blankets rustling as she imagined him sitting up on his couch.
âLan,â She said brokenly, albeit with an effort of trying to sound strong.
Keys rustling and his rushed, âIâm on my way, baby,â were her response.
â
Lando knew where the spare key was. It was one of the first things he asked the location of after they first said I love you. Y/n would always laugh at that memory. What she was expecting after the three words were shared was a small kiss or a hug maybe, but no, he had asked her where her spare key was. When she showed him and he very clearly took a mental note of it, she asked him what was so important about it.
âIâm your boyfriend and weâre in love. I should know where the spare key is, baby.â He had said to her so nonchalantly, as if it was societally normal to have that thought process. She just shook her head at him and took the kiss she wanted for herself. He wasnât going to do it anyway, too entranced in the image of her spare key under her doormat. He was shenanigans bundled into one person. She loved it.
His rapping on the door pulled her from her memories. She drudged over, taking a deep breath before opening the door. He stood there in his pajamas, puffer coat thrown over haphazardly, and stared at her sympathetically. He shuffled in, arm rounding around her shoulders as he kissed her head, âHard day?â
She sighed, âHard week.â
He led her to the couch. The layout of her apartment was memorized in his head. âWhat happened?â
âI just-â She picked at her fingernails and the anxiety she usually felt when Lando asked about her worries began bubbling up. Maybe it was growth, but she thought heâs already here, isnât he? Might as well lean on him.
So, she did. Literally and figuratively.
Lando squeezed her body as her side laid on his and she started reliving the low moments of the past few days. âEverything has gone wrong this week. I just canât seem to win and I canât make anyone happy.â
Tears filled her eyes and a frown appeared on her face. She cried into his shoulder when he pushed her body further into it.
Lando sat with her for a moment, rubbing her back. âThatâs not true, Y/n. You make a lot of people happy. You make me really happy.â
For some reason, his comment shot fear through her body and she pulled from him. Her eyes looked anywhere other than his and the irrational idea of an expectation Lando had set for her that she did not believe in herself to meet took control of whatever plan she had to open up to him.
Lando saw it in her eyes, how distant they got. He knew this was bound to happen. It had been too easy. She had opened up to him without that much restraint and he expected a moment to come where her walls rebuilt themselves.
He just wanted her to let him in.
His hands took her face, âYou deserve me. You will not let me down. You could never let me down.â He said, knowing exactly what was running through her mind.
âY/n, look at me.â He tilted his head to meet her eyes and forced her to keep his stare, âI love you. That will never change.â
She cried harder, âI canât even open up to you, Lan. Iâm not even a good employee at a job Iâm overqualified for. Yesterday, I handed in that presentation to my boss that I had been working on for weeks and when I presented it to the board of all fucking people, there was a grammatical error on one of the slides. I had confused âyourâ and âyou areâ, Lan. It was embarrassing. They laughed and joked about it after. I canât even fucking do my job. And I upset my mum on Wednesday. I hung up on her during an argument and now she isnât talking to me. Iâm being condemned, Lan. I canât fucking breathe. My dadâs texting me, telling me how disrespectful I had been, but nobody hears about the parts where she called me an irresponsible adult and ridiculed me for taking a job that didnât make me that much. Nobody wants to hear my side of the story, the part where she was so grossly unsupportive. Then, I had to cancel on Cameron on Tuesday again because Iâm so fucking tired and so fucking busy. She got mad at me and now weâre in this fight because Iâve neglected our friendship. Iâm a shit friend, a shit daughter, a shit worker, and itâs so obvious Iâm a shit girlfriend. I canât fucking do anything right.â
By the end of her rant, she was breathless and Lando could see she was talking herself into an anxiety attack. Her hurtful words toward herself needed to be dealt with, but he needed to stop the panic seeping into her skin.
He took her hand and kissed her head, âCome with me, my love.â
She kept crying as he led her to his car, his arm wrapped around her body securely as he whispered words of reassurance in her ear. He reminded her of how strong she was, of how much he loved her and admired her for everything she was. How wrong she was about everything she had convinced herself of.
When he softly laid her in the passenger seat, he kneeled down and kissed her shoulder, brushing her hair off the skin lightly. He looked up at her with deep green eyes filled with safety, âDonât listen to your mind right now, baby. Itâs only telling you lies.â
He lightly closed the door, running around the car to slip into the driverâs seat. When he turned the engine on, his hand settled on her thigh and began rubbing softly. He backed down and drove down the road, toward a small park at the end of her street. It was quick, maybe a minute or two, and Y/n was still crying when they parked, but it subsided momentarily when she saw where they were.
âWhy are we at the park?â Lando grabbed her hand and kissed the knuckles.
He laid his cheek down on the back of her palm, murmuring, âBecause itâll be fun to be kids for right now. Not have to think about what youâre going through. We can address that later.â
A sigh of relief left her chest. The moment he had given her an opportunity to run away from it all, even for a few minutes, she almost began to feel as though she would find peace.
He always knew exactly what to do.
She gathered herself, wiping away the tears and smoothing down her hair as Lando walked back to her door, opening it and offering his hand as help for her to get out of the car. She took it. She always would. The cold air hit her body and she shivered. Lando was immediate in offering her his coat.
She shook her head, âNo, Iâm okay for right now.â She was just now realizing how she hadnât gone outside in days. The cold air made her feel alive again.
Landoâs hand continued to clutch hers as they took steps toward the large structure. When she let go of his, he tensed, but he relaxed when he saw her wandering over to the slides.
She climbed up the ladder, him following behind, and found herself sat in the entryway of the whirling slide.
âWait, wait!â Lando yelped before she could push herself down. Her head whipped around to meet his eyes.
She smiled and her body warmed when his found a seat behind her, his body consuming her and his hands wrapping around the low point of her waist. His ear right beside her ear, he kissed the top of the skin, âNow, you can go. We can go down faster, no? Seeing as I go fast for a living.â
His questionable logic made her laugh before he was pushing them off and the two were turning fast around the corner of the yellow tube. Her giggling ensued with the way he jostled them around on purpose to make the slide more exhilarating for two twenty-four year olds. And in the heat of the moment, seeing her hair float in the air and a carefree smile on her face, Lando wished she could see herself the way he did. She was superb, unbelievable. She held the strength and courage of someone so commendable. She was kind even when she had seen things and experienced trauma so young that shouldâve, understandably so, made her bitter. She was merciful even when she shouldnât be and she loved Lando in a way he had only ever dreamed of. The way she treated him, the gentleness she approached him with, was something he knew he could never let go of. She was beautiful in so many other ways than just her appearance. She was deeply beautiful and he wished she could just understand that.
When they reached the end, their bodies stopping abruptly right at the edge, Y/n laid her head back against his shoulder. He kissed her temple, âFun?â
She nodded with a smile, âSomehow, you did make it faster.â
He shot her a look, as if to question why she didnât believe him in the first place. He pushed her off him, sprinting to the swings and screaming for her to follow him.
âLando! Be quiet! Youâll wake up the entire neighborhood!â She whisper-yelled at him, laughing as she ran after him.
He threw himself in the seat and began swinging his legs, no doubt gaining momentum but beckoning her over for help nonetheless.
She stood behind him, bracing herself firmly on the ground as she pushed his heavy body up off the ground. When he would meet her back on the ground, heâd lean back so his back would almost come crashing into her front. It made her laugh.
âLando!â He couldnât see her, but he knew how radiant she mustâve been looking. Even in his head, he continued to fall in love with her.
She kept pushing him until her arms got tired and she flopped away from him, onto the ground, in a heap of heavy breaths. When he didnât feel her small hands on his back anymore, he jumped off the swing and joined her on the ground.
It didnât matter how cold it was or how dirty it inevitably was, they were together and Y/nâs smile lingered on her pretty face.
Landoâs hand laced with hers in between their bodies as he softly whispered, âYouâre not a shit daughter, your parents donât know what they have and theyâre too emotionally immature to realize that. Youâre not a shit friend, Cameron knows that, youâre just struggling and thatâs okay. Youâre not a shit worker, youâre actually heavily valuable to your boss and the people around you. Theyâve all told you that. And Y/n, look at me,â She turned her head to meet his meaningful ones, âYou are not a shit girlfriend. You are the complete opposite. You are everything Iâve ever wanted and could ever ask for. You have no idea how in love with you I am. Itâs even hard for me to understand sometimes. There is no one I have ever loved, love, or will love more than you. You are the most important thing to me, so please stop talking about yourself in this way and believing in something that has never been true.â
Everything about the moment is gentle. From the way his thumb caressed her skin to the enunciation of every word that came from his mouth, he made it clear how much love prospers for her within him every day and every minute.
She turned on her side and took his cheek in her hand, âThank you for helping me, Lan.â
His hand squeezed her waist, âOf course, my love. Youâre my favorite.â
She felt her heart blush, if thatâs even possible. Maybe her face was the one blushing? She didnât know. The way Lando looked at her as if she started life itself made her mind feel fuzzy.
Fuzzy enough to realize he was right. She wasnât a failure or a horrible person. She was a human who made mistakes and many people loved her in spite of it. Lando being one of them.
He loved her in a way she had always craved. She both needed and wanted him. So did he. They were the beginning and end of everything for the other. It showed well that night as they held each other on the concrete of that park. It showed well because, at one am on a random Saturday, Lando had dropped everything he has doing the moment he heard the anguish in her voice. It showed well because Landoâs clear words made Y/n realize he wanted her and no one else. There was no one else like her, no one to ever replace her. Not that he would ever want that anyway. She was completely unique in the most precious way and maybe⊠just maybe⊠she was beginning to realize that too.
#mclaren#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris fanfic#lando norris fluff#lando norris imagines#lando norris fic#lando smut#lando norris smut#lando x reader#lando imagine#lando norris#lando norris x you#lando norris edit#lando norris blurb#lando norris fanfiction
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Why not me?
Larissa Weems x fem reader {angst}
words: idk 2.5k?
warnings: language.
note: ok idek what this is, i haven't written anything in months because of burnout, so really just something i pulled from drafts.
âDonât.â It was to the point; it was sharp and clear. I picked up my handbag, coat and gloves and evacuated the room as swiftly as possible.
Slamming the door behind me, I could feel its vibration, the loud noise echoing through the halls and corridors, just like every one of my steps down the marble stairs. Frustratedly, I rummage through my bag to find my car keys, desperately needing something to just go my way, I plucked them out and balled the abundance of jagged metal in my fist while storming across the cobblestone to reach my car.
The second I sat in the driver's seat, tears started to roll down my cheeks and my nose started tingling, I shove the keys into the ignition and reverse out of the staff lot before practically doing a burnout when setting off. Where to go now is the question. Where to go indeed. The only home Iâve ever known is nevermore, the safe place I retreat to when the outside world is far too cruel, when normies are unkind and when life gets too much.
Every possible place I think to go isnât an option, they are all riddled with memories of her, thereâs nowhere in the whole of Jericho that I havenât been with her, the park benches and weathervane after getting hot chocolates on a sunny winters day, the local bookstore on a windy spring morning, the clearing just off the road in the woods on a gloomy autumn afternoon, or the empty fair ground on a cool summers night.
âOh, you would love her y/n, she very pretty and quite the catch, she flatters me all the time and is very sweet-.â âDonât.â The conversation plays on a loop, God why? Why wasnât I enough? The trees reflections whipping across the windscreen seemed to become faster. âGoodness, can you believe she asked me? I havenât been on a date in years.â She had said. âHelp me find something to wear dear?â She asked, and, without question I did.
My grip on the wheel becomes tighter until my knuckles turn white and crescent shapes are imbedded into my palms. Did she not know? Didnât she realize? Has she not seen the way I look at her? Before I drive myself out of the town ship I stop on the side of the road. I just sit there, I sit and cry for a long time, even as dusk falls and night comes, I sit and cry.
Many cars have passed my own, however none caught my attention until I heard one ripping down the road sounding like itâs going a million miles an hour, when it passed the brake lights almost immediately illuminated my skin and the tires screeched as it stopped, my brows crease in confusion until it reversed back alongside me. Quickly I came to realize who it was. Larissa.
Without second thought I tried turning my car on though it wouldnât turn over, how bloody convenient. I looked to my side to see her get out and run to my door. âShit.â I breathed. She reached for the handle and was stunned when she couldnât open it a dumbfounded expression overtook her pale features. âOpen the door.â She pleaded I didnât look at her, I kept my eyes in front of me still trying to start the engine. âDarling open the door.â She begged, her voice cracking and muffled by the glass.
âY/n so help me god I will smash this window if you donât open the damn door.â Her accent became thicker as she yelled. I just wanted her to go away, I rest my temple on the headrest in defeat. For a moment it was quiet- too quiet, that was until I heard her door slam close. I peeled my eyes open and saw her wrapping a cashmere scarf around her wrist, immediately in rage I unlocked my door and stepped out. âWhat the hell are you doing!?â I seethed. âWhat am I doing!?â She asked incredulously unwinding the material. âWhat the hell are you doing!? Where have you been? I called you close to forty times with no answer, I thought you were hurt! I thought something bad happened!â
âWhy do you care?â I spat, the bitterness rearing its ugly head. âWhy wouldnât I? Youâre my friend, of course Iâd care!â There it was friend. Somehow that made it worse- another kick to the guts. âYeah, ok.â I murmured, twisting around and pulling out my bag, closing the door and storming down the tar road. âWhere are you going!?â She shouted. âAway, far away from you!â I bit back.
âStop!â She growled frustrated and confused. I ignored her request and continued walking. âY/n!⊠oh, for fuck's sake.â Her voice died in her throat as she came to the conclusion that I in fact didnât care for what she had to say. Larissa threw down the scarf and started power walking towards me, her heals clacking hard against the ground, her stride quick and harsh. âHey-⊠hey! Christ just stop.â She said exasperatedly reaching my shoulder.
âDonât fucking touch me!â I shrugged her off ripping out of her grasp. âTake the hint! Larissa, Iâve made it clear enough that I donât want to be near you!â I yelled whipping around to face her. âWhat have I done? What is going on? You donât do this- you donât pull this kind of childish behavior; I expect this from a student not you of all people.â She reacted. âThanks, truly.â I sarcastically remarked and resumed walking.
âFine Iâll just follow you then.â She said as if she was one upping me. âPiss off.â I said starting to walk faster. âTell me what is going on! Please.â She asked her voice a little calmer and more desperate. I once again ignored her. âY/n. Iâm not going to stop until you tell me what has gotten into you.â She said starting to slightly limp from the ache in her feet. âWhat has gotten into me?⊠what has gotten into me?â I stopped abruptly.
I spin on the spot facing her again throwing down my bag in the middle of the road. âYou.â I said creeping towards her with my finger pointed towards her chest. âYou have gotten into me!â I yelled. âMe?â She asked, her brows furrowing and voice shaking. âYes you! Day in day out, Iâm sick of it!â Larissaâs posture straitened and head slightly dropped to the side in question. âCan you elaborate?â She said her eyes flicking about showing her confusion.
âIt would be my pleasure. Letâs start shall we. âIâm not sure where Iâm going wrong, I just wish someone would want me.â Or âIâm not good enough.â Or ây/n, why doesnât anyone fancy me? Is it because of this or that'âŠor some bullshit reason.â I started, quoting just a few things from her. âWhat? Are you annoyed now that I actually have someone who could potentially be interested In me?â She asked furiously.
âNo, Iâm annoyed because of how ridiculous it is.â I retorted. âRidiculous?â She growled through clenched teeth. âYes. Ridiculous. How many times was I there to say those things arenât true? How many times have I reassured and helped you? How many nights did I spend being by your side trying to make you happy!?â I asked. âWhat are you getting at!?â She asked, her eyes wide and lips twisted. âMonths⊠years actually! Listening to you talk absolute garbage about yourself and continuing to do so after me telling you Iâm here! - and, and now⊠youâre settling? for some waitress who thinks youâre pretty?â I explained looking directly in her eyes.
Larissa recoiled and looked as if she had been slapped. âTell me how you really feel.â She murmured crossing her arms over her chest. âJesus Christ, get a grip! Are you that thick!? Iâve been tryi-â I began. âDonât even start, what about you! As far as Iâm concerned you donât have a great track record in relationships!â She yelled, her anger taking over once again. âJust fucking listen!â I screamed, rendering her completely silent.
When I realized she had bit her tongue and no longer wanted to argue, I started to speak again in a more relaxed tone. âI havenât spoken, been with or even looked at anyone else. Iâve said nothing, but Iâve tried in many ways to show you, to tell you⊠every single time you have had a problem, a bad day, needed help, needed comfort, whoâs been there? Me. I have. I know you better than anyone and Iâm telling you that, that woman isnât for you.â I stated.
âRight. So, your jealous that you're not the one whoâs getting the chance with her, is that what you're saying? Because I thought you would be happy for me, out of all people y/n.â She said quickly and bitterly. âNo thatâs not-â I try. âIâve heard enough, you want to be left alone fine, go ahead.â She said rolling her eyes and turning around to walk back to her car. âLarissa.â Itâs her turn to ignore me. Before she got too far, I reached for her wrist without thinking and stopped her.
âI am.â I said quietly, pulling her to turn back toward me. âYour what?â She asked back. âJealous.â I express timidly, looking away from her but keeping the firm grip. âBut not of you⊠of her⊠Iâm jealous of her.â I said just above a whisper. I look back up, my gaze trailing from her shins to the hem of her dress, to the waist belt of her grey coat, to her neck, lips and face, her very confused face.
âIâve tried to tell you⊠Iâve tried everything apart from actually saying it.â I said loosening the grip on her wrist. âDo you have any idea how hard it was? How hard it is to listen to you talk about someone else making you happy? Someone else who can see the side of you Iâve only ever wished to be privileged to see?â Larissaâs face dropped; her angered expression melted away as I continued.
âWhat?â She asked, her voice barely above a whisper. âIâm sorry.â I said in the same level of tone, goosebumps forming over my body as a shiver made its way down my spine, right there I knew I ruined everything. I close my eyes and let go of her wrist, I could hear her take a step, but it wasnât back towards her car, it was to me, my eyes snap open as I feel her entire body engulf mine, in all the years of our friendship weâve never hugged like that. Not once.
Together we stood planted in the middle of the road not daring to move an inch, it felt like it lasted a lifetime but in reality, it was only a few moments. My head and my heart were reeling, so many emotions, so many feelings, so many memories, so many 'what ifs'. âLarissa.â I said into her chest. âI know.â Was the reply. âLet me say it.â I murmured, Larissaâs chest heaved and contracted deeply, she guided one of her hands to rest on my temple and forehead moving the fallen hair in front of my eyes. âLook at me⊠please.â She asked pulling back just a little.
I lifted my gaze to her eyes and held the lapels of her coat, smoothing them and giving myself time to breathe. âIâŠâ I swallowed. âI, love you.â I said quietly, tears threatening to spill from my eyes. âI have for so long.â I breathed, finally after God knows how long I finally said it, although my relief was short lived when I saw Larissa face slowly revert back to one of distain.
âThis isnât fair.â She said pulling away and taking a step back her brows furrowing and unable to look me in the eye. âWhat?â I asked in disbelief. âI-⊠I liked you for a long while y/n, but now you choose to tell me?â It took every inch of me to not cry immediately. "What are you saying?" I asked dumbfounded, feeling bile build up in my throat. Completely taken aback, I recoiled and was in such a state of disbelief that I turned around in utter shock, plucked my bag from the ground and resumed trekking down the road.
The whole world felt like water filled the atmosphere and I was drowning, my limbs felt heavy and the cold seeped into my bones, I heard her muffled voice call out to me, but it was far too late, the second I looked up a pair of headlights were set right towards me...
#larissa weems#principle weems#gwenchrist(ie)#larissa weems x y/n#larissa x reader#gwendoline christie#wlw fanfic#larissa weems x reader
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Wounds We Never Show // Prologue: Before It All âjjk.
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â„pairing: Jungkook x Reader (she/they, afab) â„genre/rating: 18 + explicit content, enemies to lovers, enemies to friends to lovers, these two really do hate each other â„chapter warnings: Fighting (verbal), swearing, mutual hate â„word-count: 2.4k â„Series Masterlist â„ || Next Chapter fic is cross posted to ao3 send an ask or comment on post to be added to the tag list
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Your final together was tomorrow, after a month of painfully hard work it would finally be over. Except you hadnât heard from Jungkook this week at all. From what you can tell he seemed to finish all of his portion of the work. You on the other hand, due to some finals, were a little behind but you had no doubts that you would be able to catch up.Â
Not hearing from Jungkook did have you somewhat concerned.Â
You both were normal last week but this week radio silence. You had texted him just keeping him updated on the progress of your work. You choked it up to him probably being swamped with his own work, and his own projects for other classes. So you tried not too worry.Â
You sent one more text, anxiety rising with each passing minute.
:hey sorry to text you again. Iâm just checking in! I should be able to finish in the next hour or two, so donât worry.
:we are going to kill this presentation in the morning.
May have been a touch late to texting someone, it was 1:30 in the morning. You didnât care though, he had texted you at like two in the morning before. So, you figured heâd forgive you.
But the second you sent the text.
The lights and your laptop had switched off. You sat in completely darkness. Suddenly the emergency lights shown by your door. You turned on your flashlight. Your laptop was old so your power being out means that you donât have a laptop to work on. You made your way to the hall where some others had gathered. Asking what had happened.
Your RA eventually came up to your floor and told everyone not to worry, they were going to have the power on soon and to stay in our rooms for now. That we would get some text updates. You decided to not panic yet, soon after you did get a text saying that their was a an on campus outage and the problem would be resolved soon.
âSeriously?â you muttered, going back into your room. You texted Jungkook again.
:hey sorry I swear this is the last one, power in my dorm is out.
:and you know how my laptop is, so I have to wait until the power comes back.
:still going to kill it tomorrow!
Forty-five agonizing minutes later, the power finally returned. You rushed back to your laptop, praying everything was still there. But when you opened your document, it was blank. Completely empty.
âNo,â you whispered, frantically searching for any backup.
Your entire month of work was gone. You tried finding a previous version, but there was nothing. Not on your hard drive, not in your email, not even a single backup copy. Every word, every citation, every carefully crafted paragraphâvanished. Except... Jungkook might have a copy.
You grabbed your phone and called him, your fingers trembling. Voicemail. You called again, and it rang once before going straight to voicemail again.
âJungkook, pick up. Something happened. I need you to call me back.â
Panic set in as you scoured every corner of your computer. Desperate, you even checked old drafts and random notes on your phone, but there was nothing. Your heart sank. You called Jungkook two more times, but there was still no answer.
You were going to have to start over.
You knew the materialâyouâd been working on it every day for a monthâbut rewriting it from memory was going to be a nightmare. You took a deep breath, steeling yourself, and started typing. Every minute felt like an hour, but you pushed through. Tiredness clawed at you, and your eyes stung from the screenâs glare, but there was no other option.
Five hours later, you finally finished. The paper was nowhere near perfect, but it was something. A B, maybe a C at best, but it was better than nothing. Exhaustion overtook you the second you hit save, and you collapsed into bed.
It felt like only a second had passed when your eyes snapped open. You scrambled for your phone, the panic setting in again.
10:05 AM.
Ten missed texts and three missed calls from Jungkook.
âNo!â You leapt out of bed, pulling on the first clothes you found, emailing the paper to yourself while sprinting out the door. You raced across campus, nearly tripping as you weaved through students, your breath burning in your lungs. By the time you reached the classroom, the hallway was filled with students leaving.
You pushed through the door, your hair a mess, sweat dripping down your forehead.
âShit, no, no, please.â You spotted your professor leaving and tried to push your way forward, only to be blocked by Jungkook.
âLook who finally decided to show up,â he sneered as you stumbled in, breathless and disheveled.
âJungkook--â you began, but he cut you off.
âWhere the hell have you been? Why werenât you here?â His voice was icy, and he took a menacing step toward you, making you step back.
âIâI fell asleep!â You stammered, tears welling up. Your exhaustion was really hitting you, and you couldnât hold them in, âDid you see my texts? My calls? My voicemails?â
âTexts and calls donât mean shit if youâre not here!â he snapped. âYouâre acting like you care, but you clearly donât. Youâve been flaky this entire time.â
âJungkook, thatâs not fairââ
âNot fair?â he cut in, voice rising. âMaybe you did this on purpose! Maybe youâve been plotting to screw me over!â
The accusation hit hard. âAre you seriously accusing me of sabotaging you? Iâve worked my ass off for this project!â
Jungkookâs eyes were cold. âAnd where were you when it mattered? You think your excuses are enough? Friends donât disappear.â
The recent reconciliation between the both of you now dissolving on the ground between the both of you. You both had taken huge strides to become friends despite your resistance.
âFriends donât accuse each other of being petty schemers!â you shot back, the anger surging. âIâve been working all night to fix this, and youâre just throwing all my effort back in my face!â
âMaybe Iâm tired of your games,â Jungkook retorted, his voice dripping with contempt. âMaybe David was right about you. Maybe he was right that this is something you do.â
David, your ex-boyfriend. Who had manipulated so many people into believing that you were crazy, when he had cheated on you multiple times. What hurt worse? Jungkook knew all of this, knew that David was an asshole. Knew that David was an awful person who lied every time he spoke.
Now he was throwing it in your face, what the hell was wrong with him?
The sting of his words was unbearable. âHow dare you! I trusted you to be reasonable. You said you believed me when it came to what David said about me. How dare you throw that in my face! I came here ready to explain, ready to make things right. But youâre too busy being a jackass to listen.â
âI may be a jackass but at least I can be relied upon.â he said quietly, almost dismissively.
The words cut deeper than any knife. âYou know what? I donât need to defend myself to someone whoâs already made up their mind. Youâre not worth the effort, since you are so quick to blame others. Youâre just like David after all.â
You turned away, feeling tears spill down your face. You walked away, not looking back. You had to save your grades, even if it meant cutting ties with Jungkook for good. Didnât really matter, you two didnât know each other that well anyways.
You found your professor, explained everything through your tears, and showed him the evidence. He listened, though his sympathy couldnât override the rules. He allowed you to submit your rewritten paper but couldnât let you do the presentation. He promised to grade fairly but couldnât guarantee a good mark.
You received a D. It was lower than you hoped but enough to pass. Jungkook, however, failed, delaying his graduation.
You felt a grim satisfaction, but the bitterness lingered. The loss of the friendship gnawed at you, even if you hated him. Youâd never see him again, and you were more than okay with that.
That was five years ago now.
The memory lingered as fresh and raw as ever. You had moved on, grown, and carved out a space where Jungkookâs existence didnât matter. That was until you became friends with Melanie, who in every sense of the word was your best friend. Though, because fate is a funny thing, she fell in love with Namjoon. Namjoonâs closest friend was none other than Jungkook.
That relationship kept you and Jungkook in each other's lives for longer than either of you had cared for.
Forcing the two of you back into each otherâs orbit. That also meant facing Jungkook repeatedly, each time resulting in fights so venomous you wondered how Melanie and Namjoon put up with it. So many clashes over so many years, so many attempts by mutual friends proved futile in bringing the both of you together. Eventually, everyone gave up and just made sure to never have the two of you in a room together.
Now with Namjoon and Melanieâs engagement, a wedding loomed around the corner.
You leaned against the kitchen counter, mind still reeling from the past. The fallout from that final class had changed everything. Every time you saw Jungkook since then, it was an instantâwords turned to daggers, and every conversation became a battlefield. Neither of you ever backed down; pride kept you both locked in a bitter stalemate.
âJust a heads-up,â Melanie said, breaking you out of your thoughts. She hesitated, eyes flicking away as if bracing for impact. âI know how you two feel about each other, but heâs Namjoonâs best friend.â
You knew what was coming, but you still grimaced. âDonât tell me.â
Melanie sighed. âJungkook is his best man.â
You clenched your jaw, the anger bubbling up instantly. You had known this was inevitable, but it didnât make it any easier to hear. âOf course, he is.â
Melanieâs living room felt unusually tense, the soft glow of the evening sun doing little to warm the atmosphere. Melanie had always been the bridge between you and Jungkookâconstantly trying to keep the peace, but it was becoming increasingly clear that this time was different. You couldnât just show up, exchange a few biting remarks with Jungkook, and call it a day. This was her wedding. This was the culmination of everything sheâd dreamed of, and she deserved your best effort.
Melanie took a deep breath, her stern expression softening just slightly. âI know itâs a big ask, and I wouldnât push it if I didnât have to. But Namjoon and Jungkookâtheyâve been through so much together. Heâs not just a friend to Namjoon; heâs like a brother. And I need you both to make this work.â
You nodded, feeling the weight of her words. Melanie was trying to keep the peace, but the sadness in her eyes was unmistakable. She had seen you and Jungkook tear each other down time and again. Seeing the tears you shed over the times he would hit the nail on the head, and say something that went too far. Held you back from starting a physical altercation with him.
Each encounter was more bitter than the last, and every argument chipped away at the thin veneer of civility you both clung to.
âI promise,â you said, your voice steady despite the resentment simmering underneath. âIâll be on my best behavior.â
Melanieâs lips twitched into a small smile, but her eyes remained cautious. âThank you. And I mean it, no half-hearted attempts. I need rainbows and kindness coming out of both of your asses.â
You laughed despite yourself, appreciating the way Melanie could still inject humor into even the most awkward of situations. âGot it. Rainbows and kindness. Iâll bring a whole damn unicorn if thatâs what it takes.â
âGood, I donât know what I would do if we had another new years situation.â Although it was years ago, that was probably the worst fight you and Jungkook had. The things that were said and the drink you dumped on him are very present in your mind. Made you laugh to yourself even but it definitely caused a bot of an issues in your group.
You shook your head, feeling a familiar pang of bitterness. âYeah that was a really low moment for me. I think because of that things between us will never change. Heâs still that same arrogant jerk who canât own up to his mistakes. And Iâm done pretending I care enough to fix anything.â
âPeople change,â she said softly, it was something she tried to convince you of many times. âBut I get it. You donât have to be friendsâyou just have to coexist.â
âThat, I can do,â you said firmly. âIâm not going to let him ruin this for you.â
âThank you,â Melanie said, squeezing your hand. âIâm so happy you accepted the role. I couldnât imagine my wedding without you there.â
âFor you? Anything,â you replied, your resolve hardening. You would hold onto your promise to Melanie, no matter how much Jungkook got under your skin. This wedding was about Namjoon and Melanie, not you and whatever animosity you harbored toward Jungkook.
The room lapsed into a comfortable silence, but your mind was racing, already plotting ways to avoid Jungkookâs inevitable provocations. You pictured the rehearsal dinner, the ceremony, the receptionâany scenario where the two of you would be forced to interact. You would keep your distance, smile politely, and not engage. If Jungkookâs presence was like a storm cloud threatening to ruin the day, you would be calm. You owed Melanie that much.
âWhen the wedding rolls around, Iâll keep up appearances and be civil and kind,â you said, trying to reassure not just Melanie, but yourself. âJungkook might be the spawn of Satan, but as long as I donât speak to him directly, everything will go perfectly.â
No amount of promises could erase the deep-seated anger you felt every time you saw his face. This time, though, you would have to bury it, if only for a weekend. You would smile through gritted teeth, hold your tongue when he inevitably said something infuriating, and pretend you were above it all.
You had months to prep yourself though. Plenty of time to make sure that nothing Jungkook could do could piss you off.
Nothing that weekend will surprise you.
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#smartkookiee#bts#jungkook#jeon jungkook#jungkook x reader#jeon jungkook x reader#jungkook fanfic#jungkook fic#jeon jungkook fanfic#kim taehyung#taehyung#jimin#park jimin#kim namjoon#namjoon#rm#v#enemies to lovers#enemies to friends to lovers#e2l#jungkook enemies to lovers#jungkook e2l
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Older women part 1
Character: Scara/ kuni / wanderer
Warnings/ tags:, modern au, cursing, fluff, little angst, inappropriate jokes, reader being oblivious, scara being a simp, 4th wall breaking scara, milf reader, alcohol (reader drinking)
No gn reader this time sorry guys đ this idea has been sitting in my drafts for months lolllz
I had beidou in mind a lot for the reader sorry xxx
You started genshin at first to get closer to your teenage children who had started playing this game called genshin impact. You were already a gamer so you decided to give it a go, downloading it on your PC that you usually use for work and booting it up.
Pretty soon you got to the sumeru quest line and a certain indigo haired puppet caught your eye. His attitude reminded you of your first love which caused you to sob, a little bitter at the memories of what happened between you and your first love.
You learned that he was once called kunikizushi and that scaramouche or wanderer now, had a very sad backstory. You got a bit thirsty and bored so you stood up from your PC to grab a bit of booze. As you staggered out of your office to grab some drinks, wanderer who was talking in the game paused and looked directly at the screen.
"Tch...this is an important part of my lore." He grumbled making nahida giggle. He glared at her before crossing his arms and just impatiently waiting for you to come back. Tapping his foot on the ingame ground until the door to your office opened again and he went back to the position he was in before.
You took a sip of your beverage before you sat down in your chair. Humming as you clicked the auto play as you continued to listen to the dialogue. You couldn't wait to talk about the archon quest with your children. You took another sip before leaning your chin against the palm of your hand.
"Come back to the banner, I wanna get you so I can name you stinkytoots." You rumbled bored of all the dialogue. It took every ounce of restraint not to react to that, still having to put up the act that he wasn't aware of the videogame.
Eventually you fell asleep from boredom. Your arms crossed and laying on the table while your head rested up on them. Some drool out of the corner of your mouth meaning you were deeply asleep. Wanderer stopped talking when he noticed you were asleep. He tapped his foot on the ingame ground trying to think of something before he sighed and reached a hand through the screen and moved your drink away from you in case you moved around in your sleep and spilt it.
He sighed and looked at you. Reaching his whole upper torso out of the screen and watching you sleep, not in a creepy way but in a 'whag am I going to do with you' kind of way. Nahida giggled again, of course the goddess of wisdom knew she was also just in a video game but she preferred to watch scara hopelessly try to interact with you.
"mm... stinkytoots...your crit rate sucks..." You mumbled in your sleep as you repositioned your head on your arms. Wanderer let out a huff of disgust at the nickname. He wanted you to think much more of him than....'stinky toots'...
Yes, he wanted you to think of him much more than reminding you of your first love, a bastard that left you when you were in need of them the most. He wanted to be your only love, since you were his he thought it was only right. He reached a hand and touched the end of your hair.
"you need a haircut, I could see your split ends from in-game." He hummed, a cruel smirk on his face as he insulted you but he meant none of it. He placed a kiss on your head before going back into the screen. He figured it would be safer to watch you from inside in case you wake up.
He wasn't ready to actually talk to you yet.
#fanfic#genshin fanfic#fanfiction#wanderer x reader#genshin impact#kunikuzushi#wanderer#wanderer x y/n#wanderer x you#requests open#scaramouche x you#scaramouche x reader#scara x reader#scara#scaramouche x y/n#scaramouche#genshin impact x reader#genshin imapct#genshin x reader#genshin wanderer#scaramouche genshin impact
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growing on you - oneshot.
modern aemond x (ex) girlfriend reader
content: smut (specifics under the cut), afab reader, angst, unhealthy coping mechanisms, descriptions of depression and its effect on the body, probably an unhealthy relationship, aemond being an idiot, probably ooc aemond, reader not described, no use of y/n, targtowers seek therapy: the story, fluff at the end bc hehe
work is 18+, minors do not interact or you shall be smited.
word count: 7.4k (oops)
a/n: i've had this one in the drafts for a while. tweaked to be a fun 'lil angsty end of year holiday fic. as is my motto: fuck it we ball. a/n 2: i pivoted from a third person pov fic to a second person pov fic 3/4 through writing this using the find and replace tool, so if there are grammar errors, i apologize! also my first time doing second person pov, weehee.
monsters - all time low ft. blackbear âą why do i - set it off ft. hatsune miku
warnings: p in v, creampie, cockwarming, slightly tipsy sex
Everything in your life was enveloped by him. your clothes smelled like him, small strands of his hair were woven into every nook and cranny of your apartment together, his fitness regime protein powder and ketogenic supplements were littered in your kitchen cabinets.Â
You couldnât get rid of him, not even if you tried. Aemond was all you'd ever knownâ you have known one another since the age of seven, and have been in a relationship since fourteen. You were both now twenty-six. Twelve years youâve been together romantically (longer, even, but you were both too stubborn to admit it) and nineteen years youâve been in each other's lives in some capacity or another.Â
Youâve been involved together longer than youâve not known each other. You hardly knew who you were without Aemondâ a thought that scared you deeply.Â
Itâs been two weeks since he moved out, only temporarily heâd said. He needed space. He would still pay his share of the rent and you didnât need to worry about that.Â
But what about everything else? What about him warming you at night? Comforting you when you had nightmares? What about his items in the fridge, surely youâd spoil if he didnât use them soon. What about Vhagar? Theirâ no, his geriatric cat that he took with him to God knows whereâ she must be terrified, surely.Â
Was he giving Vhagar her medicine before bed? Of course he wasâ he was the more responsible one anyway.Â
You paced back and forth until the soles of your feet ached and then some. Knowing Aemond for so long, you had intimate knowledge on everything about him, you were woven into each other's DNA like vines on a trellis, growing and expanding until you swallowed all of the other plants whole.Â
That is what happened, wasnât it? You grew too large, too comfortable and became stagnant. You weren't unaware of his rising workload at his firm, but he had always been a workaholicâ throughout their teenage years, through college and grad school. It never slowed him down so you didnât understand the change in behavior.Â
Aemond was closed off. He always was a bit emotionally stunted due to his upbringing or lack thereof from his father and everything that happened surrounding his eye, but he had a soft side for you, always for you. You could retrace every part of him perfectly from memory, always could make him laugh, could comfort him when he recused himself, and the rare times he did cry, you were there.Â
But the last few months there was a shiftâ a change in him. Where he had been hard to open before, like a rusty hinge just requiring some oil, he was now padlocked, ironclad and impenetrable. Attempts to talk were shrugged off, ignored or diverted.Â
âPlease, just talk to me, Aemond,â you said one night as you sat on the couch. You were watching your collective favorite show and he wasnât even commenting on it like he usually did, he was silent and deadpanned. âI donât understand whatâs wrong if you donât talk about it.âÂ
âThere's nothing wrong, therefore, nothing to talk about. Iâm just tired from work,â he responded gruffly. âStop whining.âÂ
His tone was clipped and harsh, sending a wave of hurt trickling through your body. you were overly emotional, where he was under emotionalâ usually, you balanced each other out and struck a good middle ground, but in times like these, during fights, things would get explosive.Â
The tears started right away, your little sniffling cries stifled by a hand over your mouth. You turned away, wrapping yourself in the blanket.Â
âSeriously?â he growled, âI didnât even say anything and youâre fucking crying again.â
âI d-donât appreciate your tone, Aemondâ youâre being mean,â you sniffed, wiping away tears that were soon just replaced by new ones. âPlease, donât be mean to me.â you were always soft hearted, and it was one of the things Aemond loved about youâ or he had loved at one point.Â
âIâm not being mean,â he pinched his brow, âyouâre overreacting and I do not have the capacity to deal with your antics anymore.âÂ
Of course, your mind hit the panic button. âAnymoreâ meaning that he didnât want to deal with you at all, ever. The tears increased and you recused yourself further into a ball.Â
âFucking hell.â he cursed, getting up from the couch and stomping outside to the balcony, lighting up a cigarette. He was out there for about an hourâ you had cried yourself to sleep.Â
It was many situations like that for weeks that finally just⊠broke him.Â
âI canât do this anymore,â he said one day, slamming his keys down on the kitchen table, âI seriously cannot deal with your childish shit anymoreâ Iâm working my ass off at the firm, actually bringing in money and I still have to come home and tend to you. youâre twenty-six, grow up and stop crying at every little thing. Itâs fucking infuriating.âÂ
âYou know I canât control that part of me!â you screamed back, your temper rising immediately to match his. The words flowing out of your mouth didnât feel like yours, but some sort of defensive mechanism. âYou canât do this anymore? Youâre not doing anything Aemond, except pushing me away. God, you havenât even touched me in weeks.âÂ
âOh, so this is about sex?â he countered, getting closer to you, nostrils flaring. âYouâre mad because I wonât fuck you? Are you that desperate?âÂ
That one stung, to be sure. Aemond had been your first and onlyâ you only ever knew him, only ever had him. âNo, not just sex,â you murmured, âyou havenât even⊠just touched me normally. No hugs, no little caresses, nothingâ it's as if Iâm an aversion to you.â
He backed up from you, âMaybe weâre just too close,â he admitted, âWeâve been together too long. It's not fun anymore, itâs not newâ itâs the same old, same old, going through the motions for release, not because I actually like it.âÂ
âI donât understand.â you said, your voice sounding disconnected from your body. The tips of your fingers felt numb, the numbness spreading through your body, your heart pounding in your chest as if it wanted to escape.Â
âI need space. I need to think about this.âÂ
âThis?â
âUs. I need to think about us and if this is something I really want,â he paused, âYouâre⊠too much and not enough right now.âÂ
âWhâ Aemond, please,â you whispered, your voice broken, âWhat can I do? Iâll⊠Iâll change, I wonât cry or whine anymoreâ please.âÂ
He stared at you, his prosthetic eye unmoving while his remaining one bored into you, âI will think about it.âÂ
âWhat⊠does this mean?â
âWe are taking a break, alright? Iâll have my essentials out and Iâm going to stay with Aegon.âÂ
âPleaseâ donât go. I need you.âÂ
That was the end of that conversation. That was the last time you spoke, two weeks ago. You expected him to text you at some point, to check in on you, to maybe try to talk things out.Â
Nothing. There's been nothing. Radio silence.Â
You felt isolatedâ you had no family, as your parents were estranged from you. you couldnât go to Aemondâs family, as close as you were to them all, it just simply wasnât an option.Â
You didnât have friends. All you knew was Aemond.Â
It was early in the evening and you were in a deep pit of self-loathing. You decided to text him.Â
You swallowed thicklyâ the green meant he either turned off his phone or blocked you. You hoped that it wasnât the latter.Â
The next few weeks were a blur. You felt like you were barely living, merely going through the motions to stay aliveâ not that you really were.Â
You woke up, went to work, came home, scrounged up food and then went to sleep. Rinse and repeat.
Weeks become months of your monotony, and no word from Aemond. He still had half of his stuff left in the apartment, you felt like you could barely breathe. At every turn there was something to remind you of him.Â
Youâd lived in this apartment together for four years, the evidence of your relationship etched into the very walls. It was like the space was closing in on you and you couldnât catch your breath, barely keeping your head above water.Â
You had to move outâ you had to get away.Â
You managed to find a place, a cheap studio above a coffee shop downtown. The landlord was an old lady who was sympathetic to your situation and agreed to let you take the space quickly.Â
There was still the matter of your and Aemondâs current apartmentâ or, rather, it was just Aemondâs now.Â
Saving yourself the embarrassment of seeing if you were still blocked, you called Aegon. He was a better messenger than none.Â
âHey, Egg,â you said, sitting on the couch. you bounced your knee up and down, biting at the skin of your lip. You and Aegon were amicable, not necessarily as close as you and Aemond, but you grew up together. Aegon ran in different social circles than you and you were somewhat polar opposites so you never really stuckâ you did have your phases of friendship, thoughâ which pissed Aemond off to no end. âUm, I donât know if this is the right way to go about things but, do you mind relaying a message to Aemond for me?â
âYeah, âspose I could. Whatâs up?â Aegon replied, his tone nonchalant like usual.
âIâm moving out of the apartment into my own place, so I guess he can go back. Iâll have all my stuff out by tomorrow.â
âFuckinâ finally,â Aegon said, âHeâs been driving me up the wall with his tidy, feng shui bullshit. He rearranged my whole place like five times and has taken up all the space in my cabinets with that nasty no-carb shit,â he paused for a moment, âI⊠didnât mean that in a bad way to you, âcourse. Iâm sorry it had to come to this. Heâs a fucking idiot.â
That made you laugh, genuinely. Your first laugh in months. âYeahâ he⊠tends to do that. He left half of his stuff here, it feels like Iâm living in the twilight zone. I just⊠gotta get away, you know?â
âHey, I get thatâ you donât have to explain yourself to me. Heâs a dickhead and doesnât understand how good he has it. If you want, I can bring my truck over tomorrow and help you move stuff.â
âYou donât have to if you donât want to, Egg.â
âI want toâ please.â
Your brow furrowedâ Aegon usually wasnât so persistent on anything unless it involved drinking or drugs. But, you hadnât had real human contact in eons besides at work so⊠maybe it could be good.
âOkay, see you tomorrow. Thank you, really.â
â
It was rainy the next dayâ nasty and wet, droplets pouring down like tears. It felt somewhat familiar.
But, Aegon showed up like he promised, rolling up in his old, fading yellow pick-up truck. His hair was much shorter than you remembered and he looked actually well keptâ Aemond mustâve been whipping him into shape.
He waved and ran through the rain, standing under the eave, âSoâ itâs raining.â
You snorted, âI think I can see that,â you teased with a tiny smile, âNot sure when itâll let up.â
âI brought uhâŠâ he paused for a moment to think, stretching out his arms in a square shape, âYâknow?â
âA tarp?âÂ
âYupâ that,â he gave a lopsided grin, inviting himself in through the open door, âyou arenât going to kick me out if I donât take off my shoes, right?â
You glanced down at his bootsâ they were a bit muddy and definitely wet. Aemond wouldnât have let him step two feet through the threshold without taking them off. Butâ you weren't Aemond. âNo, keep them on if you want. Itâs not my problem if you track dirt through the place anyway.â
He nodded, taking his phone out of his pocket for a moment and shooting a quick message to someone. âSorry I havenât been around, itâs just⊠heâs my brother. It would be kind of⊠I dunno, crossing some sort of unsaid boundary if I visited his⊠girlfriend?â
âEx-girlfriend. I guess,â you corrected softlyâ but you didnât really know yourself what it was. He wouldnât talk to you, âItâs fine. I didnât expect anyone to really reach out anyway, because of that⊠unsaid boundary thing.â
âWe shouldâve. youâre a part of our family with or without Aemond. Me, Helaena and Daeron have a whole group chat about it. Even mom asked where youâve been,â he scratched the back of his head absentmindedly as he sent out another text, âSomeone shouldâve checked up sooner.â
âYouâre acting like Iâm some sort of neglected puppy, Aegon,â you turned to him, â... do I really look so terrible?â
Aegon glanced up at you, his mouth formed in a hard line. He cracked his knuckles, shrugging his shoulders. âI wonât lie to you. You look half dead.â
You blinked. Hard. Moving towards a mirror in the hall, you looked at yourself. Dark circles under sunken eyes, your skin was a pale pallor and your hair needed a trim desperately, your split ends curled and fettered. You were gaunt, as wellâ having lost a bit of weight over the months. âJesus,â you muttered. Glancing over at Aegon, he was texting again. âSending an update to the group chat, I guess? âGood news, sheâs still alive, barelyâ?â
He snorted, âYeahâ something like that,â finally, he locked his phone and slipped it in his pocket. âI made sure to text Aemond, too.â
Your mouth felt dry at the mention. âWhy?â
âHe asked.â
âAsked?â
âHe asked me to⊠make sure you were okay.â
Goosebumps prickled at your skin, the ever familiar feeling of nausea and despair swirling in the pit of your stomach. Nibbling at your lip more, you turned away, feeling a bit too exposed. âAnd whatâd you say?â
âI said you were alive but you are not okay.â
Your lips pursed into a line as you tasted a bit of copper in your mouth from chewing on your lip. âI guess thatâs right,â you muttered, âWhy would he ask?â
âAemond is⊠complicated. you know that better than anyone. I donât know what kind of bug he has up his ass these last few months but⊠even through all of this, he still cares.â
âLike hell he does,â you snapped, feeling the sting of tears, âIf he did, he wouldâve given us a chance to talk it out, to⊠to try, maybe even go to therapy, I donât fucking knowâ he wouldâve reached outâ anyone shouldâve reached out,â your hand went to your hair, right at your hairline at your scalp, picking at the hairs thereâ another self-destructive habit youâve picked up in your months of isolation, âIâm so fucking alone, Aegon. He knows⊠you all know I have absolutely no one else. Iâve been going through this on my own. I have no friends, no familyâ no brother to go live with when I need space, no family group chat. I donât have shit, Aegon. All Iâve ever known in my life is him and you and Helaena and Daeron and mom. Why⊠why does it feel like I was cast off the island without even⊠a tribal council or something?â you sniffed, the tears coming in full force now.Â
Aegon was silent, coming up behind you. âIâm⊠sorry,â he murmured, putting his hands on your shoulders, as frail and skeletal as you were, âWe shouldâve been better. We⊠will be better.â he turned you around and pulled you into his chest, enveloping you in his arms. âWe thought you wouldâve been⊠fine without him. He made it seem like thatâ that you were strong enough. I only figured it out yesterday when he was up my ass about texting him as soon as I saw you. He needed to know if you were feeding yourself, if you were keeping up with your medication, if you still had nightmares. A fuckinâ... laundry list of questionsâ I told him to stick his questions up where the sun donât shine and to see for himself,â he took a breath, âHe settled on one questionâ if you were okay.â
âI think he got his fucking answer, then,â you whispered, âI am not okay. I havenât been okay in months. I⊠I need help.â
âI know,â Aegon shifted you slightly to look at your face, âWeâll help youâ I promise, you wonât be alone anymore. Look, Iâll even add you to the group chat, okay? Iâll rename it to âAemond Sucksâ, how does that sound?âÂ
You cracked a tiny smile, sniffling. âYeah⊠Iâd like that.â
âÂ
You ended up moving your belongings to your new place the same day, effectively ridding yourself of the constant shadow of Aemondâs memory.
Aegon even took you to Michaelâs and HomeGoods to get stuff for your little studio, so you could really make it yours. It was a bit intimidating at firstâ you weren't used to being able to decorate things the way you wanted, as Aemond always opted to keep things simple and minimalistic.Â
You, admittedly, went all out. Your new studio looked like a Pinterest board titled âcottagecoreâ. You were incredibly happy with it all, practically jumping up and down at it.
âIt looks so good! I love these little mushroom chairs you picked out, Egg,â you hummed, patting some plush felted stools in the shape of mushrooms, which you put near the window. âI bet Helaena would love it.â
âLetâs take some pictures for the group chat, Hel will literally be all over this. you two always love that cottagecore, fairycore, fantasy⊠shit.â he grinned, stooping down to take some very out of perspective pictures of the mushroom chairs, making them look fifty feet tall.
You settled into your new place quickly, having Helaena, Aegon and Daeron over quite often for drinks and movies. Your health steadily improved until you were mostly back to normal physicallyâ there would be a lot of scars internally, however that would take longer to heal, if you ever would. You had developed a trust issue complex since Aemondâs unceremonious exit from your life and hadnât gone on any dates, you didnât know when or if you would ever be ready. They did you the courtesy of not mentioning Aemond, until Daeron said something odd.
It was about four months after you moved in, and almost a full year since youâd last seen Aemond. You were all a few mixed drinks in, Aegon had made them and you were heavy on the alcohol, light on the âmixâ, and you were all kicked back on the couch, with Aegon laying on the mushroom chairs stacked next to each other, lazed back like a cat.Â
âMom says she wants you over for Christmas dinner,â Daeron said, taking a sip of his drink, âShe figured itâd be fine with Aemond going off with his newâŠâ he blinked, catching himself.Â
Helaena nudged Daeron in the ribs as a warning, staring at their friend warily.
â... his new? His new what?â you asked, your voice so quiet that it mustâve been like a squeak.
â... new girlfriend.â he finished.
You were silent for a while before sighing. âI figured it would happen eventually. I can only hope that it⊠wasnât too soon after we broke upâ or whatever⊠happened.â
âWe all told him it was fucked up that he just left and ghosted you, lovey. Even mom got on his ass about it, and he is her favorite child who usually can do no wrong.â Helaena put her drink down, wrapping her arm around you. âYou should come to Christmas dinner, everyone would be super happy to see you! And Aemond wonât be there, so even more reason to come. Please.â she whimpered, using her best puppy-dog face.
You mulled it over in your mind for a few moments. You couldnât think of anything more painful than being alone during the holidays, so you nodded.
â
It was snowing on Christmas day, the flurries coming down and melting against your skin as you waited for Aegon to pick you up. You were wearing a red checkered tapestry dress with a flannel jacket, a white fluffed scarf wrapped around your neck and lower face. As soon as you saw the familiar color of Aegonâs truck, you practically booked it into the passenger seat.Â
âMerry Christmas, you look fantastic,â Aegon mused, ever the charmer. âIâve got the heater on full blast, I promiseâ but yâknow my old boyâs puttering these days. Weâll need to get some speed for it to really warm up.âÂ
âMmm,â you murmured, your teeth chattering, âSâcold.âÂ
He reached back and grabbed a well-used blanket, draping it over your legs. âBetter?â
â... yeahâ but,â you blinked, raising a brow. âWhat do you have this in the truck for?â
Aegon laughed as he began the drive to his familyâs estate. âI think you know.â
âPlease donât tell me youâve fucked someone on this blanket, Aegon.â
âSomeonesâ not just someone. But I keep it clean, no worries!â
The drive to the Targaryen estate was about an hour and a half from town, nestled deep into an expansive forest where there werenât any other homes in at least five miles. It was a gorgeous, Victorian style mansion and according to Daeron, was most certainly haunted. You had been here numerous times, of course, but itâd been a while. As you pulled up in the driveway, you saw Alicent standing outside the door dressed in a gorgeous red and green festive dress, hair curled to perfection. Nothing less was expected of Alicent, though.
âOh, my darling,â Alicent cooed, holding her arms out to caress who she thought of as her fifth child. âItâs been too long, Iâve missed you.âÂ
Your heart warmed under Alicentâs caress, someone who had become more of a mother figure to you than your actual mother. You sniffed, pressing your forehead into Alicentâs shoulder. âMissed you too, mom.âÂ
âCome on, you both can cry inside in the nice toasty house, yeah? Iâm freezing my balls off here, mom.âÂ
Alicent huffed, ushering both of you inside. âDonât be vulgar, sonâ itâs Christmas.â
Helaena and Daeron were already there, as well as Otto, who gave you a stiff nod as a greeting, as was his usual means of communication.
You settled into the kitchen, Alicent pouring everyone apple cider and dishing out at least six types of holiday themed cookies. About an hour after arriving, there was a knock on the door.Â
âOh, that must be Rhaenyra and Laena. Can you answer the door, darling? I need to take the roast out of the oven. Iâm sure they would be happy to see you!âÂ
âMhm!â you mused through bites of cookies. You loved Rhaenyra and Laena, who were technically married with husbands, as was Alicent, but the three of them were in a secret, not so secret to anyone with eyes, polyamorous relationship. It always amused all of their kids when they tried to hide it.Â
You turned the doorknob, fully expecting to see Rhaenyra and Laena. It was not.Â
Aemond.
âFuck.â you blurted out, eyes wide. It had been the better part of a year since you had last seen him. His hair was longer now, gathered into a low bun at the nape of his neck, his cheeks a bit more gaunt. He still wore his earrings and his ringsâ including the one you had given him almost a decade ago.Â
âShit.â he responded, seemingly caught equally off guard by seeing you again. The pupil of his non-prosthetic eye dilated until the iris was almost consumed in black, before he flexed his hand and reeled himself in.Â
You couldnât help but notice he was aloneâ no ânew girlfriendâ as Daeron had put it. âAemond,â you breathed, feeling like you were outside of your own body, your head filled with fluff and static. âMerry⊠Christmas.â
âMerry Christmas.â he responded gruffly, âCan I come in?â
âOhâ yeah, duh,â you chastised yourself, stepping aside to let him in. âSorry.â
âMm.â he grunted in his usual manner. That seemed to be a habit he hadnât dropped.Â
You all but retreated to the kitchen, the expression on your face telling everything. Aegon, Daeron, and Helaena gathered around you.
âI didnât invite him, I swear.â Aegon whispered.
âWell, neither did I!â Daeron professed.
âDonât look at me, I didnât invite him. He left me on read three weeks ago when I sent him a picture of a bug on my windowsill.â Helaena sniffed.
A new voice chimed in. âI invited him,â Alicent spoke, breaking up the little posse, âI told him to come over or he would be grounded for three months.âÂ
All four of you stared at Alicent, deadpanned.Â
âMomâ heâs⊠almost twenty-seven. you canât ground him,â Daeron said, confused. âAnd moreover, why? Wasnât he busy?â
âWell, first off, he is my son, so I wanted to see him for Christmas. Two, I believe we have someone here who has some unresolved issues with him.â Alicent responded, staring right at you pointedly.
â... I donât know⊠I⊠I donât know if I can talk to him. Itâs been too long⊠I feel like I was just getting over all of this.â
âWell, do I have any say in this?â Aemond barged into the circle, his hands in his pockets.Â
You suddenly felt overwhelmed, the familiar bubbling of everything being too much rising in your stomach. You were teleported back to months ago when you were barely alive, trapped in your own mind. âI⊠I need⊠I need a minute.â you muttered, your voice sounding distorted as you made your way to the bathroom, turning on the faucet. Chest heaving, you were already crying, the waterworks starting somewhere between the hallway and the sink.Â
âYouâre always fucking crying, I canât take it anymore.â Aemondâs voice from months and months ago echoed in your head, causing the tears to flow more. You bit against your lip, tasting blood right away as you willed yourself to stop crying.Â
âS-stop⊠stop crying,â you whispered, fingers messing up your hair as you held fistfuls of it. You couldnât catch your composure for the life of you, sliding against the bathroom wall onto the floor.
Vision blurring, you donât know how long you were incoherent for. When you came back to yourself, Aemond was in front of you, crouched down.
âHey,â he murmured softly, the door closed behind him, âItâs okay.â
You swallowed, still numb as he pried your fists from your head, out of your hair, smoothing it down.
âLook at me, can you do that? Nod if you can hear me.â
You nodded slowly, the feeling coming back to your extremities in a sprightly tickling sensation. You blinked tears from your eyes, the liquid smearing your vision.Â
Aemond rasped a thumb over your eyes, effectively clearing the obstruction from your vision. âJust breathe,â he continued to whisper. It was ever reminiscent of when he would calm you down after a nightmare, voice low and scratchy in a way that comforted you. He was so close now, closer than heâd been in forever. He still smelled the same, the scent triggering a deep aching within your chest. A scent that took you forever to get rid of, but you never truly could. âCan⊠we talk?â he asked then, his voice sounding more vulnerable than ever.Â
It felt like whiplash, visions of your previous fights plaguing you, where he had been so closed off, so far away, so distant that you couldnât reach himâ and now, he was here. In the present, in the flesh. In front of you, opened. Not opened completely, but you could see it, like the slit of a cracked door, the light bleeding through. It was there.
â... yeah.â
âI⊠Iâm⊠Iâm sorry. What I did was fucked up. It was fucked up and wrong and you didnât deserve any of it.â
âYouâre right about that,â you muttered, pulling your knees up to your chest, wrapping your arms around them. âI didnât deserve it.âÂ
Aemondâs mouth twitched slightly before he sat down next to you, propping up his legs in a criss-cross. He opened his mouth to speak a few times, before closing it. His hands flexed and unflexed in quick successionâ he was clearly thinking very carefully about his next words. â... Iâve⊠got issues. You know that better than anyone. I donât know what was going through my head those months that we fought. I can hardly remember it now, it was like⊠I was in a fog, a hazeâ I was working myself half to death, I just wanted dad to notice, to fucking⊠appreciate me,â he put his hands on his head, âI was so⊠tied up in this illusion that if I made junior associate at the firm so young that he would congratulate me on my achievement andâŠâ Aemond let out a sigh, âAnd⊠in the process⊠I pushed you away.â
You looked at him, feeling your gaze soften ever so slightly. You knew that his father was a sore spot for him and that trauma ran deep. âYou didnât just push me away, Aemond,â you sighed, reaching out a shaky hand to pry one of his from his face. â... if you wouldâve just talked to me, I couldâve helped. You didnât push⊠you⊠you shoved, you shoved and ran in the other direction.â
His one violet eye danced towards you. âI know. Iâve been kicking myself for it. When Aegon told me you werenât doing well⊠I almost left work to see you.â
â... you did?â
âYeah. Aegon basically told me not toâ that⊠this was something you needed space for. Kind of like I did but⊠maybe in a more healthy way.â
âA text wouldnât have hurt.âÂ
He reached into his pocket and took out his phoneâ his wallpaper was still the same as it was, a picture of you, him and Vhagar very unhappy in an elf costume. He scrolled to his notes app, which was filled with messages addressed to you. â... I thought it might, after what Aegon had said. I was⊠ashamed of how I acted, how I handled the whole thingâ how I left you alone without a word. He told me how you looked⊠dead. I didnât want to make it worse.â
Your eyes scanned the messages, picking out some words. The main ones that caught your gaze were âsorryâ, âloveâ, âregretâ. A huge breath left your lungs, feeling as if everything had been knocked out of you at once. You felt like you were being whipped back and forth in the wind, trying to grab onto anything. If you both werenât so stubborn and just messaged one anotherâ well, no. You did message him, one time. âI thought you blocked me.âÂ
â... for five minutes, maybe.â
âGod, weâre so fucking stupid, Aemond.â
âYou arenâtâ donât say that. Iâm literally a dumbass. All of my siblings told me so, even my own mother, and you know she never curses.â
The tiniest of smiles cracked onto your face as you jostled his shoulder. âYeah⊠you are a dumbass. I am allowed to say it at least once. So, um,â you shuffled slightly, âDaeron kind of let it slip that you had a new girlfriend?â
Aemond pinched his brow. âOf course he said that. He is twenty-one years old and still doesnât know how to use his goddamn ears. I said I was seeing a new therapist, not that I had a fucking girlfriend.â
âA therapist?â
â... things got really dark for me after I moved back into our⊠no, my⊠place. After you officially moved out. It felt lifeless, all of your things were gone, the fucking warmth sucked out of the place. It felt like itâd been sterilized of anything⊠good. I feel into somethingâ I donât know, a depression? I guess, thatâs what Aegon called it. He suggested I see a therapist, citing me as âan emotionally stunted asshole who needs more therapy than himâ.â he exaggerated the last bit with air quotes, rolling his eye.
â... he isnât wrong. I mean, I love your family, but all of you are all kinds of fucked up. Maybe I am too, practically being a part of it.â
Aemond chuckled, giving a tight lipped smile. âWe are fucked up. I realized that⊠I really do not give a shit what my dad thinks, because nothing will ever be good enough for him. Heâs so far gone now that he probably doesnât even know we exist. Iâve come to terms with that and honestly⊠it feels like a weight has been lifted.â
âIâm glad you could⊠work through some of that, Aemond.â you say sincerely, resting your cheek on his arm absentmindedly.Â
â... I want to talk about us.â
â... us. Okay.â
âI donât expect you to want to jump right back into things. It would be unfair to think thatâ but⊠maybe we could try?â
Your chest feels a bit tight at his admissionâ he wanted to try. Every fiber in your being wanted to say yes and jump back into it like youâd never left. But you knew you couldnât. There were still parts of you scarred by this whole experience, some parts that may never heal. It would take a long time and a lot of talks like this to even get some semblance of what the both of you had. âWell⊠before we were together, believe it or not, we were friends. Could we⊠try that for right now?â
His chest visibly deflated a bit, but he nodded. âWhatever you need, okay?â
â
The days following Christmas, leading up to New Yearâs were⊠different. You and Aemond were back in contact, going out for coffee and lunch a few times.
On the day before New Yearâs eve, you texted him.
Turns out, timing the movie to sync with 12 am on New Yearâs day to Toby Maguire saying âPizza timeâ was difficult. Well, it wasnât difficult for normal peopleâ but you and Aemond were a bit tipsy, as Aegon had left some hard apple ciders in your fridge, to which you both indulged.
âOkay, okay,â Aemond stared at his phone, â5⊠4⊠2⊠wait, no, fuck, 3⊠2⊠I think we fucked it upâ just go, go!â
Quickly, you started the movie. âMaybe we shouldâve practicedâ can we start over?â you plopped on the couch, sinking into the sofa and taking a swig of the cider.
âDoesnât work like that, sweetheart. Canât turn back time.â he mused softly, squatting down on one of the mushroom stools. âPretty comfy.â
âAegon picked those out, nifty, huh?â
âNifty.â he parroted.Â
The movie continued on, but as it went on, there was an unspoken tension growing. Aemond hadnât sat on the couch, but rather, the stools that were on the other side of the room. It felt like a chasm had formed, the strain almost palpable.Â
You chewed on your lip anxiously, contemplating whether or not to say anything. But, you had both been trying a new technique called âcommunicationâ â a pretty cool and helpful thing that Aemondâs therapist had taught him. You remember laughing when he posed it that same wayâ but it was extremely important. You cleared your throat. âWhy are you sitting all the way over there?â
â... um. I wanted to try the mushroom seats, I guess.â
âYou donât want to sit next to me?â you countered, feeling especially brave.Â
âIs that⊠alright?âÂ
âUm, duh. I invited you over for pizza and a movie so we could⊠sit together. Not for you to be half a mile away sitting on a mushroom.â
âAs long as itâs alright with you.â he murmured, sitting up from the mushroom stool and making his way over to you, sliding onto the couch, still a few feet away from you.
You werenât sure if it was the atmosphere, the pent up emotions, the small buzz of alcohol, or a destructive cocktail of all three, but you inched closer to him. Closer, closer⊠until your thighs were touching. You glanced up at him beneath fettered lashes. âHi.â
âHey.â he responded, his voice low and warm. It caused a balmy and comforting vibration to go through you, reverberating in your chest.Â
You became all too aware of your movements, your closeness to him, the skin of your thigh grazing against his jeans as you got as close as you could. Your lips parted slightly as he stared back down at you. âCan⊠we?â
âCan we, what?â he murmured, lacing his fingers through your loose hair, gently grasping it at the nape of your neck. âUse your words, sweetheart.â
â... kiss. A little bit.â
âJust a little bit?âÂ
âMhm. A teeny bit.â you leaned up, Aemond meeting you halfway as your lips came together. The culmination of your year apart, all of the emotions, the sadness, the frustration and anger, the passion, love, tearsâ all of it came together at this moment as the two of you melded together perfectly, as if youâd never left. You couldnât help but let out a sigh of contentment, followed by what could only be articulated as a moan.Â
It caught both of you off guard, Aemond pulling away for a moment, his lips still ghosting over yours. âFucking hell,â he breathed against your skin, sending goosebumps tingling from your tailbone up to the nape of your neck, the hairs on your body standing on end. âIâve missed you.â
âIâve missed you,â you responded before latching onto him once more. It started off loving and slow, your lips moving against one another like two old lovers dancing togetherâ then it began to heat up, your mouth parting to accommodate his tongue, gnashing against yours as their dance turned up a notch. Your hands roamed his body, everything you committed to memory for so many years still in its same spot. It felt good, it felt like home. âPlease, Aemondâ I⊠I need you. Itâs been so long⊠too longâŠâ
âToo long since Iâve had you, had this,â his hand reached down, cupping your mound still hidden beneath your panties. Somehow, you foresaw this moment before it happened and thankfully wore a light dress. âLet me in, love.â
You parted your legs, feeling the ever familiar crook of his fingers slide down the front of your panties, testing the waters. The pad of his thumb and middle finger locked on instantly to your clit, swirling the sensitive bud, sending electric shocks through your extremities. You bit your lip to stifle a moan, pressing your forehead against his. âNeed you inside, now.â you all but growled as you peppered little kisses along the soft flesh of his neck.
He wouldnât keep you waiting long, as it seemed he needed this as much as you did. He parted your panties to the side, propping you on top of him and sliding you down his length, earning a hissed gasp from both of you. It took all of his strength not to burst in you right then, as you enveloped him in your tight, wet heat. âYou were made for me,â he breathed, biting down on your shoulder, leaving red marks. One of his favorite things to do was to mark you, leaving hickies in his wake as he worshiped every inch of exposed skin he could reach. âMelded so perfectly, just for me.â he grabbed the flesh of your bottom, squeezing gently at first, then landing a smack on it as he began to thrust up into you.
You nodded fervently, hiccuping little moans as you dug your face into his shoulder, biting him in turn. Your nails sunk into his skin, indenting against his spine as they always had, as they always were meant to. It felt much like a pianist resting their fingers on the ivories after a long break, the pads of your fingers sinking into the ridges of his very being. You were meant to be here, he was meant to be here. You could feel your end coming on all too soon, his cock filling every nook and cranny of you, bullying that spongy, delicate sweet spot just right. You began to clench, your tell-tale sign to him that you were close.Â
âI love you,â he whispered, panting slightly, using one hand to push your face back so you could meet his gaze. His wild, pupil-blown out gaze, cheeks reddened, mouth parted, brow furrowed. âI love you, I fucking love you. I missed youâ fuck.â
âI l-love you,â you responded before he parted your lips with his thumb, âLove you so muchâ p-please, sâclose.â you whined into his mouth.
âLet go, sweetheart, câmon,â he grinned against your lips, nipping and biting at them. âCome for me.â
That was all you needed, the twine of your climax coming undone right in your core, snapping like a taut thread. Your usual habit was to hide your face in his shoulder when you came, whimpering and pantingâ but he didnât let you this time. He held your face, staring at you intently as if you were a piece of fine art on display, and he was a connoisseur.Â
You clenched around him tightly, spurring him to his own end. His hard wrought fingers gripped your ass like it was a lifeline, grunting as he found his release deep within you, where it was always meant to be.Â
Coming down from your high, you slumped against his chest, mouth parted. Embarrassingly enough, a little drool wetted your lips. You were fully and thoroughly fucked out, not even registering that Tobey Maguire said âPizza time!â
âHappy New Year, love,â Aemond murmured against your hair, nestling you tightly against him. He didnât pull outâ he preferred it this way, having you warm him through until you both fell asleep.Â
â... Happy New Year,â you whispered back.
â
Two and a half months later, it was Valentine's day. You and Aemond were officially dating again as of January 2nd, much to the surprise of no one.Â
You both took things as slow as you could, keeping separate apartments for the time beingâ but youâd given him a key to your place about two weeks in, and he was there all the time, taking much needed leave from work.Â
Unlocking the door to your apartment, you walked in, seeing Aemond lounging on the couch with a scruffy brown furball on him.Â
âOh, Vhagar! You brought my baby,â you mused, dropping your items (with some grace, so as not to scare the geriatric cat), walking over, âOh, I hope she remembers me.â you frowned, kneeling down and offering your hand to her.
âOf course sheâll remember, she yelled at me for a good three months at Aegonâs when we were without you.â
Vhagar sniffed your hand for a good minute before blinking her sleepy, lazy eyes at you, then promptly rubbing her scraggly cheek fur on your hand. You were elated, scratching her cheeks, hearing the tinkling of a little bell.Â
âA new collar?âÂ
âMhm, take a look.â
You swirled the collar around, looking for the name tagâ only to find⊠a ring. An opal and moonstone ring. Your heart stopped in your chest as you stared at Aemond.
âI would get down on one kneeâ I was intending on you coming home and Vhagar running to you and then you finding it⊠but sheâs on me, and I canât get up. Cat rules,â he mused, unclipping the collar from her neck and slipping the ring onto your finger. âI know weâve only been dating for⊠a month and a half, so stop me if itâs too soon.â he grinned, his toothy smile.
Vhagar gave a croaking meow, promptly jumping off of Aemondâs lap. As soon as the old cat was off, you threw yourself at Aemond, blubbering. âThis⊠thisâŠâ you sniffed, unable to form words.
âJust so there isnât any confusion⊠will you marry me?â he asked, wiping your tears away with his thumb.
âYes, yesâ I will,â you sniffle, burying your face in his chest and sobbing.Â
He let you sob on him, getting his shirt all snotty and wet, all while smiling.Â
After crying for at least ten minutes, you manage to take a picture, sending it to the group chat, with the caption: âI think we should add him to the chat now, guys.â
Ding.
âIs this group chat named âAemond sucksâ?âÂ
#aemond fic#aemond fanfiction#aemond targaryen#hotd aemond#aemond x fem!reader#aemond#aemond one eye#hotd fic#aemond fanfic#aemond fluff#aemond smut#modern aemond smut#modern aemond#aemond targaryen smut#hotd smut#aemond angst#my writing
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yes, chef | part four
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this is their song sorry i don't make the rules (yes i do) summary: eight years have passed since you walked out of joel miller's kitchen, now you have your own restaurant in new york city. you're a household name, respected within your own right - but some ghosts are harder to shake than others. pairing: no-outbreak!au, chef!joel x f!reader content/warnings (spoilers): no outbreak, no use of y/n, alcohol consumption, mention of food, pure angst, arguing, swearing, unspecified age gap, cheating if you squint, joel is a prick who can't regulate his emotions, character death.
Fuckin' useless.
You plan on fuckin' your way to the top there too?
You're useless.
Dawn hadn't quite broken yet.
The rattle of the subway shook you loose from the claws of that familiar memory; the one you had to fight during any moment of stillness.
Ladies swallowed by wool scarves and labourers with chins tucked into the necks of their coats littered the seats of the carriage.
You'd hoped the years would ease the drowning; that distance and time would singe away the nerve endings that pricked up at any hint of a Texan accent.
No such luck. The best you could do was filter out any articles including the words chef and Joel Miller on your social media and news apps.
Your apartment was a cosy one-bed in Williamsburg. Most nights you woke reaching for a phantom warmth that your fingers could never find; nails clawing at your fitted sheet in frustration when all you could grasp was cotton. You were grateful for the omnipresent city traffic that lulled you back to sleep.
The first year was the hardest.
He had become a ghost story, haunting you in each sip of coffee or raised voice in the street. You hated yourself for craving his temper; you would've killed to feel the heat pricking at your skin as he barked orders at you.
You missed the games you had played to stay his little secret. Swallowing his poison, letting it decay your self-worth, just so you could be his.
But it was never enough. You were never enough.
"This is an M-line service. The next station is Broadway-Lafayette."
Rising from your seat, you gently shook your head from side to side.
Enough, you thought, inhaling slowly as the doors parted.
Enough.
Only January in New York could rouse gratitude for the stuffy microclimate of the subway. You'd never get used to that first gust of winter air; the one that reddens the tips of your ears before you even have the chance to acclimatise to street level.
It was different here.
Temperature aside, your days were no longer spent walking on a raised edge, willing yourself to remain balanced. For too long, you'd laid blankets over thorn bushes and convinced yourself it was a good enough place to rest your head.
There was pressure; no kitchen worth its Himalayan salt could function without it. But at every blind corner hands were reaching out to steady you, and you them.
It was nice. You were happy - or content, at the very least.
And even if you weren't happy, you only ever had enough hours in the day to clamour your way through service. You hadn't dealt in anything as trivial as love - if you could even call it that - since you'd turned your back on Texas.
It was a short walk from the subway to the restaurant. The streets were mostly empty this early but rushing had become second nature since moving to the city.
A food critic from the New York Times was due to be dining sometime this week, but last night an "unofficial source" you'd fooled around with in college had texted you a heads-up to be on top form this afternoon.
You'd heeded the warning with a smirk; you were always on top form.
Morning beat on with the usual trepidation of pre-service; menus drafted and re-drafted until you were satisfied; table settings scrutinised under three different levels of lighting; reservations checked, then double-checked, for any notable guests. There was nothing left to perfect by the time you opened your doors for lunch.
Your kitchen was a sanctuary of praise and encouragement; only the best went out to the pass, but you did so without raising your voice at even the most tedious mistakes.
"Sauce has congealed, chef. You need to start again, please." You smiled tightly at your sous-chef who repeated your request with a nod.
Allergy notices and orders merged with the sizzling of fish on the griddle pan in a swift symphony. You bit back a smile at the chaos, content with submerging yourself in the music of the kitchen for the rest of your days.
"Chef, one of the guests would like to speak with you." Tom, your newest front-of-house hire, called from the pass.
"Me? Now?" You replied dumbfounded.
"Yeah, he's just had the prosciutto and spinach scallops. Kind of old, Southern, I think."
A familiar feeling pooled in your gut.
"Thanks, Tom. I'll go see what he wants." Untying your apron, you took a deep breath in.
All eyes were fixed on you. Sabrina, your sous-chef, took your apron from your damp palms and rested a hand between your shoulder blades. Sweat beaded at the base of your neck.
"Give him hell. Who even reads the New York Times, anyway?"
A few low hoots echoed around the kitchen as you pushed your shoulders back and made your way toward the dining room.
Your facade melted as soon as you saw him. It infuriated you that he hadn't changed a bit. Only, grey framed his face more prominently now.
Everything else was perfectly the same.
"Joel." You breathed, hovering over the empty chair opposite him.
His face relaxed - not quite into a smile, it was something you'd never been able to put your finger on.
That's what infuriated you about him the most, you thought, you could never quite get him underneath your thumb. He would never give you the privilege.
"New menu each day, huh? Sounds like something I'd do."
"Is that it?" You choked, fighting to keep your voice low and expression neutral. It was so easy for him to get a rise out of you, he didn't even need to try.
"You think I'd come all this way t'just tell you that?"
Before a retort could form around your tongue, you noticed the band on his left ring finger.
You could've been sick there and then.
His gaze met yours, realisation setting into the creases in his forehead.
"I have a kitchen to run. Congratulations, Joel." You managed to murmur before tripping into the still kitchen, hot tears burning in the corner of your eyes.
"So?" Sabrina pressed, evidently expecting what should've been a run-in with the critic.
"Wasn't him." Was the only explanation you could muster.
You excused yourself, leaving the slow mechanics of service to resume in your absence. Clutching your stomach, you pushed your way out into the bite of the afternoon chill.
Had he come all this way to flash that thing in your face? To show you how much better his life had turned out in your absence? Even after all these years, was he still punishing you for daring to love him?
You laughed aloud at nothing, breath forming in puffs of condensation before your face. Of course you'd loved him; you still did.
Eight years of keeping yourself busy enough to forget the smell of his chest, the pressure of his lips against your temple in the middle of the night.
You had searched for the giddy intoxication of his presence in everything you did; working yourself to the bone in some sick, futile desire to replicate the knots in your stomach only he could tie.
All the while he'd moved on and settled down with someone he didn't have to hide.
You were useless, after all.
For the remainder of the day, you'd done your best to subside the embarrassment burning through your bloodstream.
The New York Times critic had arrived shortly after you'd attempted some form of composure; Sabrina had stalled her by talking about the weather while you perfected your illusion of a sane, tempered woman in the reflection of a saucepan.
Compared to your encounter with Joel, the magazine meeting was a breeze. Joel Miller may have crushed your self-worth, but over your dead body would you let him ruin this too.
Once all surfaces were wiped down and stoves cooled off for the night, you finally pulled on your coat and made for the exit. It took a few polite declines to join the others at a bar nearby to celebrate surviving the review, but you finally managed to wriggle out of the social obligation.
You saw the staff off, encouraging them to have a drink for you, before finally locking up.
"S'dangerous walking home alone this time of night." You froze, your back to him still.
Using all willpower, you kept your movements steady and unfazed as you twisted the key in the lock.
Fuck, you silently cursed yourself. Don't cry. Don't give him the satisfaction.
"I'm not walking. I get the subway."
Joel leaned against the low wall opposite the restaurant, his hands idly resting in the pockets of his thick corduroy jacket.
"Your wife not wondering where you've gotten to?" You'd spoken before you could stop yourself.
He cleared his throat, breaking his gaze on you.
"She's back in Austin. M'here on business, she, uh - she couldn't travel with the little one."
"Jesus." You laughed in despair. There was nothing left inside of you now. All those nights spent trying to remember the feel of his chest beneath your head, he had been making a real life for himself.
"What do you want, Joel? You getting a kick out of seeing me like this?" There was no holding back the tears that flowed freely down your cheeks. He looked like he was debating moving closer to you, brows knitted together, shaking his head softly.
"Hey," he whispered lowly. "Don't waste any tears on me, baby."
You scoffed, crossing your arms across your chest and tipping your chin toward the night sky. Joel pushed himself from the wall, closing the distance between you both.
"I loved you."
"I was never good enough for you, sweetheart." Joel smiled sadly, his hand finding a stray piece of hair to tuck behind your ear.
A sob escaped your body as you let yourself lean into his touch.
"I thought the world of you."
"You had a much bigger world to find. Look at you."
"I wanted to find it with you. Why wasn't I enough?" You hated the words tainting the cold air around you. You'd never been the type to beg a man to love you, but eight years of repressed emotion and unanswered questions had finally broken free from your bones.
"You got it all wrong, baby. I'm an old man. You deserved more than to be reduced to some housewife. Could've never had the career you do now with me holding you back."
"Don't pretend you did this for me, Joel."
Suddenly, your heart broke for the woman he had left back in Austin. His wife, the mother of his child. Is that all he saw in her?
"There was a time that I thought you were wonderful. I would hang off your every word, seek your approval in everything I fucking did. And it broke me. The day you told me I was useless - I hear it in the back of my mind every fucking day."
He was shaking his head, muttering it ain't like that softly under his breath.
"Then you come all the way to New York, to my restaurant in the middle of service, acting like you're the reason I am where I am now?"
"I was in town, thought it was the right thing to do. I wanted to see you. I-"
"It's always what you want, Joel. The doting wife. The accolade. You're pathetic. I hope your wife comes to her senses and leaves you, and for the sake of your kid, I pray they grow up to be nothing like you."
Weeks passed in flashes of numbness since Joel's fleeting visit.
For the first time in years, you slept soundly through the night. When the other chefs invited you for drinks, you accepted.
Soon, you laughed and drank too much wine without the aftermath of soaking your pillow in tears.
In moments of stillness, your voice was the only one you could hear, and it was kind. You treated yourself as you treated those around you, taking the time to care for yourself again.
The New York Times published their article on the first week of February. You arrived at the kitchen just as dawn peaked over the skyline, only to be greeted by the entirety of the kitchen staff.
That morning, expensive French champagne flowed freely and the article, written by Helen Anderson, was framed and hung above the door to the kitchen. The headline read:
A New Precedent Is Set In Greenwich Village.
The day fluttered by in flurries of pride, each other ringing through the kitchen with a joyful urgency. Phones buzzed frantically from pockets, messages of congratulations you would pick up after service.
At around 12pm, the UPS delivery man arrived at the back of the kitchen, holding out a tablet for a signature for a bouquet of flowers resting against the doorway.
"Chef of the hour, these are for you!" Sabrina skipped through the kitchen, blue hydrangeas and gypsophila outstretched toward you.
You cradled the bouquet before setting them down in your cupboard of an office. A small, cream card poked out of the side of the arrangement. Messy handwriting scrawled across both inner sides of the folded card.
Sweetheart,
I'm sorry I never found the words to tell you how I feel. I'm a miserable old man who's smoked too many cigarettes and never known a good thing in front of me.
You never needed me, but I needed you. I'll never forget the first time you walked into my kitchen. I'm a coward, and I should've told you I loved you all those years ago.
I'm sorry for treating you the way I did. I know I'm in no position to ask any favours, but please don't make the mistakes I did. Hell, you're too intelligent to live as foolishly as I did, anyway.
Hope you don't mind, Helen is a friend of mine. Told me a couple of days ago how your place is the best she's eaten in New York since Bourdain. Wanted to make sure these arrived on time; God knows I never could've.
Yours,
Joel
You wiped at your eyes with the back of your hand, desperately rummaging around in your pocket for your phone.
Amidst the excitement of the morning, you had entirely neglected the copious buzzing of messages and alerts. Unlocking your phone, your eyes glazed over the most recent notification on your home screen:
Time Magazine Michelin chef, Joel Miller, dies at Austin home aged 57.
#fic: yes chef#joel miller x reader#joel miller tlou#joel miller#joel tlou#joel x reader#hbo the last of us#the last of us#tlou fanfiction#tlou au#tlou#tlou fic#the last of us fanfiction#the last of us hbo#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal#ppcu fanfiction#ppcu#chef!joel
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Hi, I was wondering if you could do an Alastor x Reader, where Reader and Alastor are about to get married, but the day before their wedding, Alastor mysteriously disappears. On their bed lays a note: âIâm sorry, I had to leave.â?
Heart in debt
Pairing: Alastor x Fem!Reader Summary: "Until death do us apart" turned into a "Until I see you again in hell", when Alastor, for unknown reasons, decided to become a runaway groom. Warnings: Gore, bit of angst.
Sorry for the delay dearest, this work took 4 drafts and a lot of re-write, I hope the result is to your liking :3.
The venue was reserved in advance, your mother had chosen the perfect location for you. The catering service was already paid for, as was the florist, band and cake.
Everything was ready.
Looking back, as you finished getting ready for bed, with your nerves on edge, you remembered how your parents reacted when you told them you were getting married.
The best couple ever, welcomed your fiancé, Alastor, as if they had recognized the plague made person. The permanent smile, the aura of death, and well, something they saw in him made them act defensively.
However, of course, your father loved you more than anything in life, so since the ring was of high quality, he had a house on his name, he could provide for you and assure you a future with children, he had no choice but to swallow his opinions and daydream the day when you say he can shoot his brains out.
It was distasteful to you that your father wanted to kill your fiancé, but you knew he loved you and as long as he was with you, Alastor would be fine.
And he was waiting in bed, with his glasses on the edge of his nose, busy with a book. "Excuse me, madam, but if you hold the rifle like that, you will hurt yourself due to the force of the recoil" you remembered your first interaction, his voice was as soft as silk, manners polished up to perfection.
âThen, what would you say is the best way?â you suspected he was going to say something mannish and arrogant, most man didnât believed women could do nothing except cooking and breed children, judging by the eat shitting grin he was wearing, you were expecting the worst sexist comment.
Instead he asked your permission to help you, after you said yes, he gently moved your arms upwards to accommodate your position, then gently pulled sideways your hips, âYour support leg must be straight and tight, strong, otherwise you will fall backâ then a rustle in the bushes alerted both of you, a white back deer.
âYou can do it, aimâ he encouraged you, watching the majestic prongs of the deer appear at the distance, âBreathe, donât rushâ his breath on your ear sent a shiver up your spine, âNow!â he spoke, you pulled the trigger, he held you during the push back, that kind of rifle was far too intense, even for him, but it had the enough power to kill the animal just fine.
âDo I have something on my face, dear?â he noticed your stare, smiling softly. You walked to him, pecking his cheek softly, âNow there isâ he chuckled, setting his book on the nightstand, then he opened his arms to you, which were soon filled with your figure.
"I can't wait for us to be one" you snuggled against his chest, "Me neither, dearest" he pulled you closer, your hair ticking his nose. "At this hour tomorrow I'll be Mrs. Hartfield, I wish your mother were here to enjoy with us" his mom had passes away when he was a kid, but since your mother was friends with her, you got faint memories of the sweet woman that had raised your soon-to-be husband.
"She probably would have made a joyride out of the planning" his sarcasm got you giggling, "You're so mean" He kissed your temple, enjoying your laughter, "Rather honest, darling".
Nothing could go wrong at the moment, you were in cloud nine, until you woke up and noticed Alastor was gone. It was weird, usually he wouldn't move out of bed until you did.Â
âMy love, I'm sorry, IÂ had to leave. I realized I'm not ready. I'll be sending you money to compensate for the expenses. I'm sorryâ Signed with his name, his calligraphy on a piece of paper next to his spot.
"Mamma?" You held the telephone life for dear life, barely holding on, "Did something happened my dear? You sound distressed" yes you were, also were under every type of weather, "He left, he left me a letter, and his clothes are gone" You chocked out on your words, tears falling onto your nightgown.
"Like full closet gone?" At her question you yelled back that he was gone, your heart shattered when you took notice that he even took his radio with him.
"I'll be there in just a moment; I'll make some calls okay?" She reassured you, "What happened?" You father spoke in the background, "Alastor left your daughter on her wedding day" Your mother tried to as delicate as she could, "Bastard! Don't worry baby, if he decides to come back, he's good as dead" he made the click of his shotgun sound against the phone, "I knew that son of a bitch was no good for my princess" he shouted.
"Maybe I did something wrong" you sobbed, "No sweetie, how can you think that? The lad wasn't ready, is no one's fault" Your mother tried to reassured you, but truth to be told, nothing could console you at that moment.
You refused to abandon his house, it was briefly yours before he went away, but the real reason was, that you still had some hope he would at some point come back. When he never did, you abandoned the house to live with your parents.
One night, returning late from your make up job at the speakeasy, you felt a rush, a cold feeling up your spine. Looking into the glass on the other side of the street, you caught the sight of a man, walking fast behind you.
Speeding up the pace, you ventured yourself into the swamp, the bayou. You knew Alastor had a hunting shed where you could at least arm yourself, you only had to run faster. Your heels at one point buried themselves in the mud, you had to continue on foot, a plus point since despite the stones and thorns on the way, you managed to reach the place.
You heard the paces even nearer, in a hurry you forced the lock to break, then took a rifle off the table inside, put three bullets in the chamber, then when the silhouette of your stalker opened up the door, he saw the end of the cannon pointing straight at his head.
âTurn back, leave!â your voice echoed through the trees, the wind eating up your voice quickly, âI will not repeat myselfâ you threatened, pulling the safety mechanism, âPoor little doll, you think youâre capable to-â shakily, you fired, he was taken aback, nearly fallen to the ground.
âYOU WHORE!â he yelled, pressing a hand to his shoulder, âLeave, nowâ the rush that firing him gave you, was a sensation you couldnât describe. It sent a shock of pleasure down your spine, you liked that feeling, even more so, when the one scared now, was him.
âHuman scumâ you aimed at his head, âSee you in hellâ his eyes took a less sharp look, his rage turned into fear, then absolute nothingness wrapped in blood.
Karma was a very ironic lady, when you pulled the manâs body to the lake, you tripped on an underwater root, your body barely above water caught the attention of a beast, and sooner than later, you were devoured by an alligator.
One man, one bloodlust rush sent you to hell.
A hundred years or so, after that incident, after surviving another extermination, hidden in a box in the closet. You felt a presence, something following you, you turned a corner, gun in hand, prepared to defend yourself if necessary.
When the footsteps stopped on the other side of the building, a shadow peeked its face towards you, the smile he was wearing was an amused one, especially when he saw you pointing the gun at him.
A slight unusual sound, seemingly a laugh, followed by its hand taking yours, only to leave a gentle kiss on your knuckles. âRather dashing, are you not?â your fear was not yet dissipated, but it was so gentle, offering its arm to walk you down the street.
âIâve been eager to salute you, though I must say, you are rather hard to findâ his voice was merely a whisper, âAm I supposed to know who you are?â he stopped in his tracks, âMy most sincere apologies, but I donât own a name, Iâm simply a reflection, a shadow of a manâ it seemed sad, yet conscious of its existence.
âDoes this man, whoâs footsteps you should be following, knows me?â he nodded in response, following by a quiet âHe doesâ. You thought back how many men you have consorted with, who might have access or knowledge of umbrakinesis, none came to your mind.
âAm I to be afraid of his intentions?â as any other man you have encountered, youâve never been able to shake the fear, always having to have a gun attached to your waist, âHe has none, he thinks he has hurt you enough, with his sudden absenceâ he had been prohibited to utter the incident, but he found a way to do so anyways without actually saying âAlastor left you, and it pains him every dayâ.
âAlastorâ his name fell off your lips like hasnât done before, in quite a while, âWill he agree to see me?â you asked, wanting at least an explanation, âHeâs not the man you rememberâ the shadow warned, but you were persistent, âIâd like to see him, if he has a moment he can gift meâ.
His nonexistent heart shook in his chest, âIâll see what I can doâ that sentence alone brought you more hope than anything in the world, âCan you do me one more favor? Iâll see that you get compensatedâ now in your home, you took paper and pen, at the same time that you took a tiny bag off one of your drawers.
âThis are three pure gold coins, Spanish ones, CortĂ©z brought this ones himselfâ you placed the bag on its hand, âI hope you accept this as payment, to pass him a letter?â he nodded watching you take your quill and start writing to him.
When you were done, you melted a bit of candle wax, sealing your heart in that page, then he left with the letter.
âMy dearest friend.
How the time has treated us, I hope will never know. If there was a god up there I shall thank him, for it brought you back to me somehow, however subtle presence that is.
Have you seen the changes? Are you still pursuing your ambitions? How have you been all these years? Many questions flooded my mind, as soon as your name was brought to me for the first time in a century.
If itâs not too much of a bother, I would like to see you, an hour is all I desire.â
Iâll await your answer, in whichever mean you see fit.
While reading the letter, Alastor made a pause, his eyes burning with the old feeling, the same crushing one he was hunted by ever since he left under the mantle of the night. Â Â
âI am not mad at you, I just wish for clearance, closure.
Happy to make your acquaintance whenever youâd like.
Sincerely, Y/n.â
âTake the package with you, and make sure sheâs safeâ he ordered his shadow, who flew a couple days later to your doorstep.
A box, laced with a red ribbon. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw a radio inside, engraved with flowers and birds in the most exquisite wood that hell could offer. On top of it, there was a note that read âPlay meâ.
You sat by the fireplace, leaving the radio on the tea table, your shadow friend taking seat beside you while you push the button that was marked.
âOne, two, three, testing? Can you hear me, my dear?â his voice was slightly different, there was a lot of static, but you wondered if that was his or the radioâs. âYes, I canâ yours was a melody he had yearn to be blessed with for years, âWonderful, I had received your letterâ your stomach was in tangles, awaiting his thoughts.
 âI do wish to see you, but I have something to tell you first, that may be quite dauntingâ your breath was caught in your throat, âGo onâ you inquired, âThe reason why I couldnât marry you is due my activities in the woods, I am a killer and a cannibal, bringing pain to others grant me pleasure like no otherâ he laid the truth as plain as it could be, giving that he couldnât see your eyes directly.
âOh thank godâ he was taken aback by your giggly sigh, âI thought you aâŠyou know, someone that fancy other menâ he laughed as well, he found the assumption ridiculous, also he thought strange that youâre so unfazed by his confession.
âYou are glad?â you took a moment to find an answer without sounding like youâve gone mad, âAlastor, are you a man that stalk women down to alleys to feast on their screams?â he answered a firm no to your question, âAre you a man that defiles other women?â another no.
âDo you enjoy killing the scoundrels you hated so much, bullies, the ones that take advantage of the ones with fairer means?â he took a second to pridefully answer âYesâ, you took the shadowâs hand as if it was his, âThen your mother and I can rest in peace, as cruel as you may be Alastor, you still hold your morals high, I cannot say the same regarding your honorâ he laughed at the mention of the latter. Â Â Â
âDid the cat caught your tongue?â he had fell silent for a minute, âNo, I havenât been at a loss of words in a while, is allâ the shadow nuzzled against your hand, moving it so it could cup his cheek, âCan I pay you a penny for your thoughts? I think I might be saying it wrong; the young ones say it a lotâ you giggled, adding to the ache in his heart.
âI didnât expect you to be alright with it, it leads me to wonder, why are you down here?â you decided to be just as honest as he was, âI killed a man that had ill intentions towards me, and I liked it a little too muchâ his smile grew devilishly.
âDid he suffer?â if not, he was going to hunt him to grant the man a second demise, one he would ensure he would regret choosing you as his target. âThe fear in his eyes, brought a smile to my faceâ oh he could not be more in love, he made a wise decision to send the radio, if he had you in front of him, he wouldâve devour you entirely.
âHow did you died?â he made a silent pray, with some hope that at least your death would not have been painful, âI was alligator food in the bayou, in an attempt to get rid of the body, September 4th, 1929â oh how that fact made a twist in his stomach, just like himself, you were eaten alive.
âI am sorryâ you laughed, âFor what? Your shed was the most convenient, I killed him with your hunting rifle, like you taught meâ he remembered, it was the first time he felt actual pleasure in someone elseâs warmth, âI can now stop regretting introducing you to the art of the huntâ the shadow placed a kiss on your temple, âVery much soâ.
He felt your skin on his lips from within the connection with the sentient, âWill you join me tomorrow, for tea? Iâm helping to rise a hotel with hellâs princessâ oh so thatâs where he was hiding around, you thought, âFancy, I must be the one warning you now, I do not lookâŠpleasant, I died in a swamp so I wear that fact in the form of my skinâ you admitted.
Water nymphs were pretty, you were somewhat that, only more inclined to an eel. You had a long thin fin for hair, red-yellow spotty skin, sharp teeth, light brown scales covering your hips and torso, not to mention your clear blue eyes, not a choice of color but rather a blind looking hue, much like an eel. Â
âMon coeur, rest assure, I am more concerned of your reaction towards myselfâ he was to the limit of nearly arranging an emergency visit to Rosieâs for a new wardrobe, âI cannot wait to see youâ until you spoke that lovely sentence, âNor can I, my dearâ.
The next day, without a wink of sleep, Alastor creeped behind the princes, after making the many preparations up in his personal bayou. âCharlie, I have a requestâ he purred, attempting to mask his excitement, âSure Al, what is it?â the question pinched a curious itch in the princess, âYeah, you rarely ask for thingsâ added the fallen exterminator.
âIâll have a guest today, one that I hold in high regards, so Iâll be excused to my roomâ excitement also brew in the princess itch, âSure thing Al, no worriesâ she cheerly smiled at him. It seemed the fact he had company also touched the spiderâs curiosity, or rather, surprise.
âSmiles got a date?â he looked in quite shock towards the feline bartender, who could do nothing more than scoff, âThatâs impossible, it must be another soul he wants to ownâ he soon swallowed his own words given that Alastor materialized next to him, âHusker! Your best whiskey pleaseâ the way he utter the name of the former overlord was a warning laced with a threat.
Later that afternoon, a knock made Charlie sprint towards the door, outrunning Niffty. âHello, Iâm Y/n, lovely to meet you, Iâm here to see Alastorâ you courtesy at the sight of the princess of hell, âOf course, come, comeâ who eagerly took your hand and pulled you inside, âHeâll be down in a minuteâ.
She had you sat in the lobby, with the company of Angel and Vaggie, âSorry if Iâm too curious, but how do you know Alastor?â Charlie began the small talk, ever so politely, âIf heâs as mysterious as he was in life, your curiosity is well within your right, heâs a dearest friend of mineâ the princess was impressed to know her host had more friends than that sleazy woman, Mimzy.
âAww, how nice!â she also told you that there was no need for any more manners towards her, though you insisted giving the way you were taught ever since you were a child.
âY/nâ your name rolled off his tongue like the beginning of a poem, âAlastorâ you turned your head around, before standing up, watching closely as he would not break eye contact with you, as he made his way around the couch. Â
âNow those two were not just friendsâ Vaggie had a sly smile on her face, âThat sexual tension is deliciousâ Angel added watching just how slowly Alastor brought your hand up to lay a kiss on your fingers. Your chest rising noticeably from your tight corset, the excitement was palpable indeed.
âWell if I must atone to the intrigue, she was my fiancĂ©â an audible gasp filled the room, âNow, if youâll excuse usâ since never let go of your hand, he was able to swiftly place it on his forearm as he guided you to the stairs, âPrincess, bye friendsâ you curtsied as you followed him along. Â
He had arranged a white set of garden table and chairs, an ensemble of various sweets and meat treats displayed, along with a set of cups and plates in a remarkable shade of blue.
âOh, Alastor this is exquisite! You shouldnât haveâ you knew the meat was for him, he was never a fan of sweets, but you were, âOf course I had, please have a seatâ he pulled your seat for you, pushing it ever so gently when you were already seated.
âAlways so gallantâ pride rose to his face in the form of a subtle rose color, he managed to hide it when his shadow came from a corner to give you a hug, âOh hello you, heâs so cute, how come he doesnât have a name?â if you didnât knew better you wouldâve thought that Alastor had gone green from envy, seeing his shadow receive more pets and attention than himself.
âIt didnât cross my mind, he wants you to do soâ he sat in front of you as his tone grew bitter, âAlistair would be repetitive, I think William is the best betâ it intoned a purr, your hands caressing the base of its ears, âHe likes itâ.
He took the time you were distracted to prepare your cup of tea, adding just the right amount of sugar and mint leaves, that gesture brought your attention back to him, âYou remember how I like my tea?â he had done that almost as a reflex, âSomethings never leave the mindâ he admitted almost impressed with himself.
âYou donât look half as bad as your warningâ you scoffed at his confession, âDonât lieâ you rolled your eyes earning a laugh from him, âIâm notâ, but even with his sincerity you were conscious of your appearance, âAlastor, Iâm part fish, I have scales, for crying out loudâ from across the table he took your hand in his, âAnd Iâm a deer, so? Could be worseâ he had a point, you had seen the dreadful appearance of some rat demons, âUhm, maybe youâre rightâ.
âWhy did you leave?â after a long silence, accompanied by the sounds of the bayou, you decided to break the peace, addressing the âelephant in the roomâ. âI was afraid I would hurt you; you knew my step-father and now, my affairsâ you were aware he had been raised by the end of a whip due to the monster his mother married, who you briefly met when your mother had tea with his.
âAlastor, you could neverâ he may be a killer, but you were certain he would never raise a hand to harm you, âYou donât know that, I am this, Y/nâ it was your turn to give him a reassuring squeeze to his hand, âDid you loved me?â his eyes, quite more honest than the permanent smile he wore, widen to your question.
âI wouldâve done anything to prevent harm from coming your wayâ you scoffed, âYes, but did you loved me?â he let go of a breath he had trapped down in his lungs when he finally admitted the truth: âI still doâ, but there was more to it, âI feel asâŠas if I had a debt to you, one I have no idea how to repay, nothing I think is enoughâ and indeed he had a mental list, burning hell to the ground was the top one choice.
âIs your hand one of the options? Your heart, perhaps?â the wish to wipe his head on the pavement had vanished a long time ago, forgiveness was perhaps the toughest thing to accomplish, but your pride wasnât that big.
âIs not enoughâ he shook his head, believing that his heart was either too small or nonexistent, âIt would, with time, you do owe me a centuryâ you didnât wanted to let go of his hand, it was the first long contact from him on years, âIâmâŠnot worthy of youâ he tortured himself ten times more than hell already did, but you just shrugged, âWho is then, if itâs not you?â.
âYou didnât marry anyone after I left?â you certainly didnât, âNoâ he had imagine you at least could love someone again, be happy, âWhy?â but you held him in your heart until the very day you died, Â âSilly hopeâ that broke him, if he had a choice, his smile wouldâve fade in a heartbeat.
âIâm sorryâ he pulled gently of your hand, leading to sit across his lap, âWater under the bridgeâ he delight himself in your hand caressing his cheek, lightly, almost asking for permission, when unknowingly he was yours.
âNot for meâ he pressed his ears to the back of his head, allowing you to caress him, as his arms hugged your figure close to his chest. âWe have eternity, if youâll have meâ he was so glad you mentioned that option, it gave him the opportunity to pull from his pocket a beautiful diamond ring, rose gold.
âYour motherâs ring?â you were in shock at the same time as excited, yet scared as well, âWill you leave again?â he cupped your cheek, placing a kiss near the corner of your mouth, âHell will freeze over firstâ you imitated his gesture, âThen, you can askâ his smile softened.
âY/n, will you marry me?â just as he slipped the ring on your finger, you whispered in his ear, âIâll have your head if you leave again, yesâ sending a shiver down his spine, âPlease doâ a kiss sealed the engagement just like the first time he had ask. Â
#alastor x reader#cursed cat alastor#radio demon#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel fanart#alastor the radio demon#alastor#alastor hazbin#alastor hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin hotel#hazbin angel dust#hazbin hotel lucifer#lucifer hazbin hotel#hazbin lucifer#hazbin art
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The Little Death â 12. To be taken over by power
â PAIRING: Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x Bene Gesserit!Reader
â SYNOPSIS: A Bene Gesserit gets left behind in the Arrakeen palace. When Feyd becomes the Planetary Governor, he finds her there in hiding. The Harkonnens don't traditionally keep them as truthsayers or concubines like other Houses do, but Feyd might have a use for her. After all, he's never had a Bene Gesserit of his own before.
â WARNINGS: fluff, angst, a bit of smut
â WORDCOUNT: 3.3k
â TAGLIST: @elf-punk @lowlyloved @pomtherine @slytherins-heir @babyofneptune @localravenclaw @missbingu @wo-ming-bai @torossosebs
One uses power by grasping it lightly. To grasp with too much force is to be taken over by power, thus becoming its victim.
â Bene Gesserit Axiom
She awoke feeling sore but satisfied. As her mind caught up with her body she realised it was because Feyd had slept on her all night. She opened her eyes to the pale light of the morning and a swath of black sheets tangled all across their bodies. He laid in her arms, his head over her chest, his arms around her waist, his legs curled up innocently. When she stretched and arched her back to put her blood in motion Feyd didnât stir but his arm tightened around her waist and a hot puff of breath tickled her chest. His face had lost in sleep all of the meanness it had during the day... She smiled and brushed her thumb across the edge of his lips. His lashes fluttered and he grumbled, pouting like a child.
âDonât wake up,â he mumbled. âI want to sleep some more.â
âBut youâre not sleeping now, are you?â
âThen why am I having such a pleasant dream?â
âDo you tend to dream of me?â she giggled.
âYes. Before I met you,â he answered with a little yawn before his mouth shut tight again and he tightened his arms around her.
She hadnât had much time after their âplayingâ with the Gom Jabbar last night to think of what his resistance said about him, although she had realised between shivers of excitement that his endurance was remarkable. She knew he loved pain and that served as an easy enough explanation, but perhaps there was a little more to her na-Baron.
âSince when?â
âA while,â he muttered, nuzzling into her chest. âDonât laugh at me.â
âI wasnât going toâŠâ
âYes, well. Youâre awfully curious about it.â
âItâs a curious thing, isnât it?â
âI regret telling you,â he sighed with a sense of finality and she knew heâd say no more.
Her hand found a natural place to rest atop his head and she thought quietly about what heâd just said as she scraped gentle scratches on his scalp. He purred against her like a kitten and wrapped his soft, cold body around her, pushing the sheets away until he was all she felt.
She found herself quite languid that day from when they got out of bed all through to the evening. Feyd took her with him for a meeting with his mentats and drafted a few messages for Giedi Prime â although he asked her to leave the room for the last one, the one he wrote to his uncle â and before she knew it they were having dinner together again. She had almost forgotten all the bad memories associated with that room, that table... She sat closer to Feyd now and felt less fear about it, and what she had gained in calm he had gained in happiness. He smiled more often through the day, enough for her to catch it, and glanced toward her when he thought she wasnât looking. His gaze was so heavy she could almost sense it on her skin.
âSo what did you dream of?â she asked after she finished eating.
He looked at her and kept on chewing, jaw flexing quietly, and pretended not to understand what she meant. He wore softer clothes today â a black Harkonnen robe that covered his whole body and made him that much harder to read. He moved quite naturally in it, unusual for one so used to armour. She smiled at him but refused to indulge his pretence of ignorance.
âYou know what I mean,â she said with fondness.
After a lingering glare, he turned his attention back to his plate and busied himself with eating, even if his plate was almost empty.
âI donât want to talk about it,â he said at length.
âYouâre shyâŠâ
âSo what if I am?â
Her smile grew gentler at his admission. It was a rare man who would admit to it without feeling ashamed, even if he sounded a bit defensive.
âI am allowed to be.â
âYes, you are,â she said. âBut I want to know anyway.â
âWe all want things we canât have.â
âNot you, though. Not the Governor of Arrakis.â
âWhy not me?â he asked, turning his sharp eyes toward her.
âWell, what do you want?â
He pouted and turned to his plate again, swirling his knife around the leftovers.
She looked at him and kept looking for long moments. He had skilfully diverted the conversation from what she had asked to something else and yet both ends of the conversation were connected. He was being childish, one didnât need to be a Bene Gesserit to know that. She asked herself what it was about his dreams, or about what theyâd done last night, that had turned him so. The answer presented itself rather quickly.
She reached out the small distance and placed her hand on his. He stilled immediately, his grip limp and weak and dead beneath her touch. Gently she rubbed her thumb over his knuckles and brushed her fingers across his soft pale skin. Like a shadow his gaze came up to meet hers and in his eyes were pleas he did not dare voice out. Before long she had risen from her chair and sat in his lap, hands cupping his tense face to brush away the tears he couldnât spill.
âWhat do you want, hmm?â she quietly asked, her whisper touching his skin.
Feyd closed his eyes and breathed a deep and heavy sigh, fighting against everything his uncle had probably told him about the Bene Gesserits, about women⊠The question itself had no purpose. She knew exactly what he wanted. But she wanted him to admit it to himself, to her, and set free those weak and traitorous emotions â longing, loneliness, and pain. What he wanted was both a mother and a lover, a figure in his life unlike any other, a vessel for all the care he had inside of him with nowhere left to spill. She brushed a finger across the dark circles underneath his eyes and traced down his face towards his lips. He was as open as a broken book, a battered gate, a hungry mouth to feed, and she would give him everything he wanted.
âDo you want me?â she asked with a knowing smile.
Feyd frowned, his pride still in the way of him admitting just how vulnerable sheâd made him. It almost broke her heart.
âHow do you want me?â
His hands left the edges of his seat to come around her waist and hold her. âIn every way,â he muttered, opening his eyes but still not daring to look into hers.
âBut you know Iâm yours,â she said with a barely concealed tease in her voice.
âNo, not like that. IâŠâ
She cupped his jaw and let her finger linger on his lips in a way she knew would warm his blood. Feyd sighed and kissed her caressing hand and then his arms around her pulled her in until he could sink his face into her shoulder. She cupped the back of his head and held him.
âI want to be yours, too,â he whispered.
She closed her eyes, a thin sigh of relief escaping her, and she fought back a smile. âI know, I know,â she said with all the soothing she could muster, her hands petting the back of his skull.
âBut you wonât have me.â
âWhy do you say that?â
âBecause itâs trueâŠâ
âIs that in your dreams as well?â
He didnât answer. She kept on distractedly petting him, cuddling him while sitting on his lap and tried to decipher meanings from the way his breath fell on her skin and the tremble in his arms around her.
âLetâs go to bed,â she said.
They went to their shared room together and he sent the guards away before closing the doors behind them. She hugged him from behind while he undressed and laid her forehead on his back. Feyd paused with muted hope but kept his thoughts to himself. Sheâd come dangerously close to the core of him the night before, cracked him open with pleasure, with pain, and supped on the bitter centre. What she set in motion had the momentum to get her out of there, to save her from the desert planet and out of Harkonnen hands, if only she made sure to fan the flames aflutter in his heart.
âDonât pretend,â he said, his voice low and sad. âDonât pretend you care or that you like me.â
âIs it because I hurt you too much last night that you think that I donât ââ
âI just know it,â said Feyd as he stepped out of her arms.
Should she contradict him? Could she? He scared her when he gave in to his darker feelings. It made her feel like she lost control of him. But the prospect of him being wrong scared her even more⊠She walked toward the window and hugged herself, watching the night fall on Arrakis. Already he was slipping through her fingers and if she only closed her fist heâd slip much more. He was ruled by his emotions but it was a hard task to accept that she was a bit like that as well. Heâd never properly grown up, and neither had she, and just like he wanted to escape the constraints of the Barony⊠She desperately wanted to get away, and knew he was her path toward it. As she frowned at her reflection in the thick shadowy glass his shape appeared behind her, a ghost through the dark. He hugged her from behind much as she had done before but he had shed his clothes by now and his naked arms curled up around her. He rested his head against her back.
âI want to tell you,â he started quietly, âbut I know I shouldnât. Iâm not as dumb as you think I am.â
âI donât think youâre dumb.â
âNo, you donât think much of me at all, do you?â
âThat isnât fairâŠâ she said, turning in his arms to look at him. âYouâre the one who always leaves me behind. Who has me walk out of the room. You donât trust me ââ
âBecause youâre not trustworthy. You say youâre my Bene Gesserit and you let me do things to you that you despise, but deep down ââ
âYou have no idea what I really think and feel.â
âThere it is,â he slowly rasped, his smooth brows casting shadows over his tired eyes. âYou donât think me capable of understanding.â
âNo, I know you are very capable,â he said, her hands tightening around his arms. âYou lasted an admirable amount of time with the box. Whether itâs because you were tested before or because you like pain, it doesnât matter. Itâs⊠more than anyone Iâve ever heard of. And your dreams... Your dreams come true, donât they?â
Feyd pulled away from her as if he could hide in the shadow of the setting sun, but her hands still gripped him and his arms were still around her waist and even if he could have hidden he was all too clearly seen by her.
âNot all of them, I hope,â he muttered.
What is he afraid of? she asked herself. From the sad and worried look in his eyes and from the way he held her she could only guess it was a fear of loss. That was what heâd admitted to earlier, wasnât it? He wanted to be hers. He feels rejected⊠Unwanted, she realised. It shouldnât have come as a surprise. Sure, sheâd given him everything he asked for, both the pleasure and the pain, but fulfilling his baser needs had only opened up his mind to what he really wanted: to belong.
Her grip tightened around his muscled arms and she leaned in to kiss him, but for some reason, she couldnât. Feyd waited breathlessly for her to close the distance and she never did. The only way around him that she knew was to manipulate him, and she couldnât do that anymore. Not to the young na-Baron with so lost a look in his blue eyes. She couldnât pretend to love him, not even to save herself. So she let go of him, withdrew, and turned around. She barely took a step before he stopped her. He slid a finger through the lacing of her dress, pulled her back, and started to undo it.
âYou know, I canât help but respect you even when I hate you,â he whispered roughly. âYou teach me new forms of pain each day we are together.â
She smiled to herself. âDo you prefer the type of pain from yesterday?â she asked over her shoulder.
âFrankly? Yes.â
She laughed and heard Feyd chuckling behind her, although there was a string of sadness there. His fingers worked quickly to undress her and he pulled her back into his body, their skin sticking to each otherâs. His embrace didnât last long before he took her hand and led her to the bed.
She let herself be guided, allowed him to take control in a way she hadnât since she was a child in schooling, taught to move and breathe and think by the Proctor Superiors, only this time there was no design about it. She had nothing to learn, nothing to gain by obliging him, no motivation to pretend. She found herself sitting down before she even realised sheâd crossed the room and her eyes searched for Feyd, finding him seated on the bed beside her. His gaze was focused on her neck, her lips, the way her hair fell around her shoulders, and slowly his hand trailed her back in something of a caress. She shivered and then his attention came to her eyes again.
His lips parted, pink and full and boyishly beautiful, but he changed his mind before he said a thing. She wondered what heâd been about to say but it was clear even without words: he was afraid of her, nervous that a wrong move or word misspoken would make her leave. He was overly cautious as he trailed his fingers down her back and curled them around her waist. She let him kiss her without any complaints or attempt at seduction and took the gentleness he offered. And she kept her eyes open throughout to look at his silky lashes, the tender pallor of his face, the way his brows would crease, and found herself admiring him for the first time ever â not for all his qualities, not for the carefully cultivated end results of centuries of breeding, but for his delicacy, his frailty, the way he seemed at times so breakable. She cupped his cheek and leaned into the kiss, surprising him into a moan. She felt his full lips curl and his tongue lap at her skin and then she pulled away. Feydâs eyes were dark and drowsy, drunk with the closeness of her.
âWhat did you dream of?â
âYou still want to talk about that?â he frowned, sounding quite betrayed.
âNo, itâs not to know it. I just want to make it real.â
He bit his lip and sucked in a breath that trembled when he let it go, and around his eyes, she could see the crease of worry.
âIâll tell you if ââ
âNo,â she said. âNo more games, no transactions or conditional surrenders. Tell me only if you want to.â
He leaned in again and crushed his lips to hers, hands tightening around her waist to pull her body flush to his. Without a thought she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, knees brushing clumsily against his.
âI donât want to tell you,â he whispered against her mouth, his eyes soft and pleading. âBut I want it to be realâŠâ
When he kissed her again he did it with a bit more pressure until she laid back down. Feyd held his body atop hers suspended without breathing, letting her hips go to thread his fingers through her hair. She grew drunk on his attention, the way he held her, the desperate way he kissed her, on how she could almost taste his thoughts. Her hands started feeling hot and itchy and she soothed them by brushing them across his skin. His thighs were softer than they had any right to be, his hips were lean and smooth, and she didnât get to feel his body and higher because he started making his way down her own. He sucked the sweat off of her neck and tasted the murmur of her moans, he licked across her clavicles and nibbled on her bones, he placed sweet kisses on her breasts until her nipples rose... He smiled when his lips found them already erect and he opened his eyes to look cockily up at her.
She watched him breathlessly as he lavished attention on her body so transparently proud just to see her react to what he was doing. There was an animal simplicity to it that felt like a betrayal of everything she knew but once she saw him like that she couldnât look away. However seductive his plush lips looked suckling on her nipple, however strong his body, stretched across her own, muscled, pale and gleaming like the statues of old, he was more than anything else dear to her because he was just a little boy. Needy and eager to please, playing with her the way his thoughtless heart dictated. She brought a hand up to his head and gently scratched his scalp and his lips parted from her breast to sigh. Eyes still closed he licked across her nipple, rolling it until it was lathered in his spit. A snake of fire coiled in her stomach. It made her squirm.
Feyd moaned into her flesh and his hands came to her thighs. She tensed up, remembering so many rough handlings â from both him and her â but he touched her as gently as if she were made of glass. And as his kisses moved between her breasts, over her heart, trailing down toward her tummy, he parted her thighs so softly that it made her shiver. He took his time brushing his cold hands across her skin, going higher and higher slowly enough that she could stop him if she wanted to. When his fingers reached her core he turned his playful eyes up at her and smirked. He held her gaze as he licked her stomach with a silent promise and trailed a finger through her folds to part them. She allowed herself to blush as she looked down at him, forgetting herself completely for a moment, living only through the softness of his lips, the sleek movements of his tongue, and the proud look in his eyes. Her first instinct was to question him, to dig into his ego and find out what he planned, but she quieted that part of her and waited.
âYouâre this wet for me?â he murmured, his lips right above her mound. She could feel his breath tickle her where she was most sensitive. He sounded playful and proud and there was an expectation in his voice that was inescapable. She had to answer.
âYesâŠâ
He buried his face between her thighs but not before she saw how wide his smile was. His hand tightened on her leg and then she felt something brush up against her ankle. A pale blue eye looked up at her, gauging her reaction with hungry anticipation, and she realised it was Feyd showing off how hard he was as he rubbed his cock against her. Her nails curled up against his scalp halfway between a caress and a scratch and he giggled. He was being so sweet with her that she could almost fall in love.
âCome up here,â she whispered, her head tilted lazily against her shoulders, her hair a messy halo on the bed.
âNot yet,â he rasped, peppering little kisses up and down her thigh. âIâm going to taste you first.â
#Feyd#Feyd Rautha Harkonnen#Feyd Rautha#Dune#Dune part 2#Dune fanfiction#Dune imagine#feyd rautha smut#Feyd Rautha x reader#Feyd x reader#Feyd Rautha fanfic#Feyd Rautha imagine#sswallow;fanfics#sswallow;made a thing#fanfic;littledeath
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My Lips ?
I found at my drafts :1
fluff fluff fluff tw mentioned of blood
Or any other song you like âšđ§đ»âđŠœ
Xoxo
Megumi your shy boyfriend who is obsessed with kissing you
Of course, you guys kiss but you always take the first step and you are always the one who kisses
Recently, you may have noticed a lack of intimacy between you and your partner. Upon closer inspection, you discovered that you have tooth decay, which may be the reason for the lack of kissing. You promptly made an appointment with a dentist, but unfortunately, the appointment was delayed, causing you even more frustration + you didn't tell him cuz you were busy
He became crazy, he became insecure, always thinking if he did something wrong
...
He was completely fixated on the idea of kissing you on the lips . It consumed his thoughts day and night of how he can kiss you, and he could hardly concentrate on anything else. he couldn't help but imagine his lips pressed against your soft pinkish lips. Despite his best efforts to control his obsession, it continued to grow stronger with each passing day, leaving him both excited and anxious at the same time.
Megumi He'll do anything to just kiss you He even reached the point where he hinted at kissing you, for example, one time he posted a story on Instagram where he puts the song Apocalypse And he wrote in the story 'your lips my lips but longer?'
You saw it you thought Integrated with the song (vibessss) you udidn't notice that he was hinting at you that he wanted to kiss you
If you go to see Megumi's search bar, you will find :
âąhow to kiss your girl
âąhow to kiss your girlfriend but longer
âą how to tell your girlfriend you want to kiss her
All his mind focused on one thing kissing you
Now its 01:13 am
Megumi had been lying in bed for a few minutes still thinking about you when he heard a sudden knocking on the door. It was quite late, so he was taken aback by the unexpected sound. With a sense of caution, he got out of bed and made his way to the door, turning on the lights as he went. As he opened the door, he was surprised to find you standing there, looking equally taken aback by the encounter.
"Y/n.." He called your name softly and tenderly. In that second, without any words, Megumi hugged you. âI called you and sent you many messages. Why didnât you answer?â you asked.
"Why what happened? Are you okay? " He starts blushing, now he feels so bad cuz now you think he's ignoring you
He was overthinking that He couldn't notice the phone back then
Now you are sitting in his bed "tell me y/n are you okay"
You clutched his hand tightly, your eyes still wide with fear. "I had a nightmare," you whispered, your voice shaky and unsteady. The memory of the dream still felt too real, too vivid, and you couldn't shake the feeling of dread that lingered in your chest.
"Everything's alright, my love. Don't worry, you're safe with me now." He hugged you
"I love you" You give him a small quick kiss on the lips
After this light kiss, you were waiting for Megumi to say to you, 'I love you more,' but Megumi remained silent in his place, his eyes staring at your pink lips.
As you looked at Megumi, you couldn't help but wonder if there was something wrong with your lips "Is there something wrong with my lips? "You asked him, but he remained silent, leaving you to wonder even more.
He was nervous. He was unfocused. You thought he was stressed out from studying You hugged him tightly wrapping your arms around his neck
Megumi stayed in his place for a few moments and then, without any warning, he pushed you away from him "Huh? Megu-" You didn't finish speaking until Megumi started grabbing Your chin and he pulled your face in and started kissing you.
Megumi felt the softness of your lips. He started with just a light kiss, but the softness of your lips made him feel even more obsessed. He placed both of his hands on your waist and you brought your arms back around his neck.
As you lean in towards each other, your lips meet in a passionate embrace. Your hearts beat faster as you both explore the depths of the kiss, lost in the moment. With your eyes closed, you savor every sensation, every touch, and every breath that you share.
Megumi can't handle how soft and wet your lips are. Now he moves his hands up and down around your back
Now Megumi's tongue is dancing with yours. You feel the heat of Megumi's tongue. He began to lick your lips and returned to kissing you.
As you and Megumi shared a passionate kiss, you began to feel a bit suffocated and wanted to pull away to catch your breath. However, Megumi seemed to be enjoying the kiss too much to let it end so soon. Sensing your discomfort, he placed his hand gently behind your head, pulling you closer to him. As your lips continued to explore each other's, Megumi pushed you onto the bed, positioning himself on top of you. He continued to kiss you deeply,
Without any warning, Megumi began to bite your lower lip, until some of the blood from your lip fell on Megumi's tongue to feel the salty taste of the blood
Megumi opened his eyes to find your tears falling and saw some blood on your lips
"y/n iam sorry" .....
"I don't know what happened to me, I'm really sorry "
He started wiping away your tears." I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." Then he lowered his hand to wipe the blood on your lower lip.
"Hey shh, it's okay Megumi "
"I'm really sorry. I was just thinking, then I did, then I didn't know. I don't know! " He was nervous and afraid. Afraid of what? Idk...? (Sometimes when you feel down. and when it comes to the person that you love with all your heart ofc you're going to be afraid of losing him/her .....)
"What were you thinking?" You asked curiously.
âąâąâą
"Megumi... "You called him again
"I will confess to you, "He said." since you stopped kissing me, I have been wanting to kiss you like crazy. I started thinking that I did something bad to you and that I was a bad boyfriend to you. I am sorry." He lowered his head.
"No, it's not your fault. Sorry. I had Tooth decay and I didn't want to kiss you until I went to the dentist yesterday. Sorry. "
"I didn't know you couldn't live without my kisses "you teased him
"Why didn't you tell me about it?" He slept on his side and then pulled you to his side and covered you with blanket
"It wasn't necessary and you were busy " Megumi wrapped his hands around your waist
"no, it is necessary, and by the way, why did you come here?" He kissed your forehead
"I told you I had a nightmare " you asked While you started to hear Megumi's heartbeat
"about" he asked
"about a Horror movie i watched"
"I told you not to watch that type of movie my big cry babe~"
Help its 2am
Can this plz get 400 likes
#fushiguro megumi x reader#jjk fluff#megumi fushiguro x reader#jjk megumi#megumi fluff#megumi x female reader#megumi#fushiguro megumi#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen megumi#megumi fushiguro#megumi smut#megumi headcanons#fushiguro megumi fluff#megumi x y/n#megumi x you#megumi x reader#jjk fanfiction#megumi fushiguro fluff#Spotify
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Here for the angst of neglected batsis, imagine or hc them of moving out if the house when they are 18 and let's say they meet some spirit and they have their memory wiped and transfer to the marvel universe to restart their life and more happy, then the dc/marvel merge together because of a big threat and batfam sees batsis is heavily pregnant and married to our favorite deadpool charater Colossus?
How would they reached if batsis just can't remember them and keeps on telling them they have the wrong person?
I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK. Guess who's back!! Sorry it took me so long to get this out, I haven't had the motivation to write until recently. Also OOC warning bc I don't really know him well besides the Deadpool movies. I almost freaked out bc I haven't used the tumblr website in so long and it got updated so I thought I lost all my drafts. So glad they're still here, whew. Not beta read so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes!
---
It's been a year since moving into your apartment and you couldn't be happier. College was going well and you were taking classes you enjoyed. However, you haven't made any friends yet which led you to spend your free time reading or surfing the web. Jason didn't come by much due to having his own life and vigilante things, which you understood. It didn't mean you couldn't be a little bit sad about it though.
Even though you were enjoying your life, you still felt as if there was something missing. You'd been trying to figure out why you had felt this way but nothing came to mind. Any time you tried to brush off the feeling, it came back stronger. You did your best to ignore it and continue on with life, but it was always there, nagging you.
It had been a long day. College was so stressful. Your professors kept hurling projects at you that had deadlines that were practically impossible to meet. You just wanted it to end already and be on summer break. Then, youâd be able to sleep how long you wanted to without the fear of being late for class or forgetting to complete an assignment.
You sat down at your desk and pulled out your laptop, preparing to continue an essay that was due in three days. Suddenly, you began to feel nauseous. Confused, you attempted to ignore the feeling in favor of completing the essay. A few seconds after trying to focus on your laptop screen, you saw a bright light.
"My child, you will be saved from this life." A strangely comforting voice said.
Then everything faded to black.
---
"Hello?!"
A voice. A voice? But you live alone and no one has the spare key to your apartment. You slowly opened your eyes, groaning and quickly shutting them again once a bright light blinded you.
"Oh you're alive, thank God. Can you speak?" Whoever this was seemed to have been panicking before, slightly less though now that you had indicated you were alive. You groan as you push yourself up off of what seems to be concrete. Concrete? You're definitely not in your apartment. You crack your eyes open again, this time with less difficulty, and come face to face with white lenses of a mask. Blinking again, you register that the lenses are attached to a red material with black lines.
"Ah!"
"AH!" The figure yells and jumps back, startled by your sudden surprise.
"What the hell are you supposed to be?" You asked, tilting your head slightly to the side.
"What do you mean? I'm Spiderman." His voice was a bit high pitched, he sounded like a teen at most.
"Spiderman? You've got to be joking. There is no Spiderman. Go home kid, crime fighting isn't a game." Sure, you may be a hypocrite, seeing as you are an ex-assassin who began learning how to kill at around 5, but at least you had training. What did this Spiderman have? From how startled he was, you assumed he had barely been trained, if at all.
âWhat? I'm literally Spiderman! I'm Queens' hero!"
"Queens, New York?" You thought you'd still be in New Jersey at least.
"Uh yeah. I don't think there are any other places called Queens that have a Spiderman."
"Again, Spiderman? Seriously? You couldn't think of a better name at least?"
"Hey! There's nothing wrong with Spiderman!"
"Sure kid, keep telling yourself that."
He was about to protest when suddenly, someone else dropped into the alley.
"Hey Spidey, who's this lovely lady?" A person in an all red with black suit with two swords on his back and guns strapped to his waist called out. The person seemed to be a male, around 30 years old.
"This 'lovely lady' is very confused. Who are you?" They keep multiplying, and you'd never seen this person either.
"Did you hit your head or something? You've never heard of or seen Deadpool? The most handsomest, most awesomest, funniest, killer crime fighter?"
"Uh nope. Also, I'm from Jersey, how did I end up here?"
"Good question. What's your name?"
"Oh, it's-" You stopped in confusion. "I actually don't remember. It was just at the tip of my tongue but I don't remember."
"Oh great! Amnesia! Just what we need. I'll let you handle her Spidey and I'll go stop some bad guys, 'kay?"
"What! No, don't leave me here!" Deadpool was already sprinting away.
"Let's get you to the base. Colossus and the others will know what to do."
---
They did not, in fact, know what to do. Colossus sent Negasonic and Yukio to contact Professor X, while Spiderman went to contact Tony Stark (I'm still emotionally scarred from Endgame so no, he won't be dead, this is my fanfic and I can keep him alive if I want to) and Deadpool went back out to patrol. You were left alone with Colossus.
Uncomfortable silence sat between you. Just as you were beginning to get antsy, Colossus broke it first.
"Do you remember anything at all?"
"I'm... a college student. I live alone in an apartment in New Jersey, I think. I used to fight crime until... I don't know, it's fuzzy. I'm an ex-assassin who has been training since I was 5. That's all I remember."
"You can remember that but not your name?"
"Look, I don't know okay? I don't know what's happening or why I can't remember anything else. I want to remember who I am, but I can't. And it's so... so frustrating! Your suspicion is understandable, but it is not helping."
"I apologize. This is a stressful situation for you. I will be more considerate."
"Thank you."
---
They could not figure out what happened to you or why you suddenly appeared in Queens one day. Your memory remained fuzzy, so you were stuck. As time passed, you and Colossus grew closer. You became so close that he told you his real name, you became a couple, and you got married. Seven years passed, you were 25 and you'd been trying for a baby. You both felt the time was right and that you'd be able to handle parenting.
Colossus came home from work one day, spent and tired. There you were, waiting for him at the door as usual.
"Hi my love, long day?" You fiddled with the positive pregnancy test behind your back.
"Yes darling, when is it not?"
"Well, we're going to have to figure something out, because there's no way I'll wake up every night to take care of our baby."
He looked confused, then realization hit. "You're..?" He looked so happy and hopeful, you couldn't contain your happiness. A huge smile lit up your face.
"Yes, we're finally going to be parents!" You pulled out the pregnancy test and held it up to him.
He laughed a joyful laugh, tears began to fall from the corners of his eyes as he embraced you. It must've been infectious because you began to tear up too. You remained in each other's embrace for a while, just existing in the moment. Time felt irrelevant as you basked in your shared delight.
---
8 months later, your belly had swollen and grown. Everyone was happy for the both of you. You and Colossus were both eager for your little one to arrive. You'd both decided to wait for birth to find out the gender. It didn't matter to you whether it was a boy or girl, just that they were healthy (gender's a construct anyway). The pregnancy had been going great so far, but this time of easy-going was about to get ruined by your husband's job.
---
Your world had merged with another because of some cosmic threat. Great! Your husband would be preoccupied trying to fix the situation, which meant that you'd be alone. Selfishly, you wished that they could let your husband stay with you so close to your due date, but you knew he had a role to play in saving two worlds.
Seeing your loneliness, Colossus decided to bring you with him to the Avengers' base. He hoped you'd be able to befriend some of the people there. You entered the compound and your eyes were drawn to some men standing beside a set of double doors. They all had suits on, black hair (one guy had two white streaks in his hair) and most had blue eyes, except for one man who had green eyes. He was also noticeably the darkest of the group. They felt familiar to you, especially the man with green eyes. Have you met them before? Who were they?
As your husband was discussing some details about the meeting, you couldn't help but watch the group of men. Not knowing why you thought you knew them annoyed you. As if they could feel your eyes on them (they could), they turned around in sync and locked eyes with you.
Their eyes widened and they all exclaimed your name in various degrees of disbelief. They rushed over to you and your husband protectively stepped in front of you
"How do you know my wife?"
"Wife?!" Some of them shouted. They were beginning to cause a scene.
"You're pregnant." The one with green eyes observed. He seemed to be having some sort of crisis.
All their eyes darted to your belly, making you uncomfortable. You placed your hand over your stomach and attempted to discretely hide behind your husband. This did not go unnoticed by them.
"You don't remember us?" The shortest of them questioned.
"No, I've never met you guys." You were very confused.
The man who appeared to be the oldest said your name. You stared at him as he studied your eyes, presumably to see if you were lying. It made you feel vulnerable and unsettled, couldn't they leave you alone?
"We're your family."
The guy with the white streaks in his hair scoffed. "You didn't treat her like she was family. I was the only one who cared for her when she was younger while you all ignored her and let her suffer. I'm glad she doesn't remember what you all did to her. She's clearly living a much better life without you lot in it."
This was getting more confusing by the second, although you felt there was truth to his words. Did you forget these people? They seemed very convincing if they were lying.
"I'm sorry but I really don't remember you guys. Maybe you have the wrong person?"
"No we don't! You disappeared one day and now that we've finally found you, you're saying you forgot everything!"
"That is enough. Please leave my wife alone, she does not know you, and she does not need the unnecessary stress of trying to remember people she's never met. Do not approach her anymore." Colossus guided you away from the men, who stared longingly at you. The heartbroken expressions they had after your husband's speech would follow you often. Were you sure you'd never met them before?
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Words: 1,847
#batfamily#batfam#batfam x reader#dick grayson#bruce wayne#jason todd#avengers x platonic reader#colossus#colossus x reader#tim drake#damian wayne#batfam x neglected!batsis!reader
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When you have a bad day
Feat. rin itoshi Tags. fluff cw. none, i think (if there are any, please let me know)
    "I'm home, Rin!" You yelled but to no response, you assumed he was asleep or something of the sort. You toke off your shoes, jacket and scarf as you entered your home, all you wanted to do was run to your room and fall asleep on your bed. After all that had happened today, first, on your way to work, your clothes getting absolutely soaked by a car that had accidentally ran through a puddle âa puddle large enough to be a full sized pool in your opinion. Once you'd finally arrived at work and turned on your laptop, it decided to shut down on you, getting rid of all the important information you had as drafts on that laptop which you would now have to redo. Now to top it all off, a bird pooped on your shoes while you were walking home. When you got out of bed, it was snowing, so you thought it'd be a good day but it turned out to be the opposite. You sighed at the memories of what had happened today.     "Negativity be gone! We're home now! Nothing worse can happen now!" You whispered then slapped yourself on the cheeks encouragingly, trying to rid yourself of all the thoughts that you had of your work day and trying to focus on cuddles with your lover. Something that would always make your day better. These thoughts weren't wanted by you or Rin, but you knew they would be engraved on your mind all week but it still probably would have made its way into your thoughts, haunting you for some time.              As you wobbled into your bed room, you paused. A sleeping figure laid in your bed, the shock slowly reaching your head, finally processing that that was Rin. You didn't want to wake him up so silently changed clothes which had went perfectly well, no sounds at all, other than the light sounds of the fabric moving around. All that was left for you to do was get in bed it couldn't go that wrong, could it? You crept onto the mattress and sat on as softly as possible. It was at that moment that life once again decided to screw you over, making the bed creek just as loudly as it could making the boy roll over to face you, eyes now open.     "Welcome home." Rin said dully, before reaching for you, trying to pull you in with him in the bed, expecting cuddles after work. Internally crying at this cute gesture, slid in the blankets, engulfing him into a huge hug and resting your head on the crook of his neck, taking deep breaths and inhaling the scent of his cologne. Unknowingly, you had started to silently mutter your day to Rin's ears, his eyes widened a little bit at the absurdities of what had happened but it was nothing that you'd notice. His hand travelled to your back, patting it lightly in attempts of comforting you âthe one who was on the verge of tears and was sniffing at the amount of bad luck you had today.     Oh god, Rin was panicking now, the water works were actually coming out now, the wetness of the tears staining his shirt, he could think of nothing to do, so he just sat there sitting quietly, his hand still repeatedly patting you back. He leaned his chin against your head, trying to lull you to sleep, away from all your bad thoughts until eventually, it worked. You had fallen asleep, curled up in his arms, no longer crying .     He looked at you, smiling and wiping he remaining tears from you cheeks. Keeping his arms around you, he put his head back on your chin and closed his eyes to fall asleep beside you, making sure that nothing could hurt you anymore.
this isn't the best and it isn't the longest. but. i love rin so i tried making a fic for him _(;Đ·)â )_
#rin itoshi#rin itoshi x reader#rin itoshi x you#rin itoshi fluff#itoshi rin#itoshi rin x reader#itoshi rin x you#itoshi rin fluff#blue lock#blue lock x reader#blue lock x you#blue lock fluff#bllk#bllk x reader#bllk x you#bllk fluff#â è¶Êłá”âż'Ëą á”á”Êłá”á”âż
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â
- haunted by the trails of you.
a/n: here's some more angst i had in drafts and now I'm setting it free. wanted more pain but this what yall are getting for now d: (potentially getting a part two)
summary: their first anniversary without you, and you'd still be haunting them. !! gn reader!! characters: isagi, reo, rin. warnings: men. hurt/barely an comfort, the word 'vomit', blood mentions in rin's part, appear of other characters. perhaps heavy angst?
isagi: it was at his own home. for what he can fathom, isagi isn't considered as someone who's hooked on the past. at least that's what he pinned his head to. what had chronicles should've been a lesson, something that'll help him move forward, a memory that'll get him through to his feet again.
once the past had been written, there was no undoing. only exceptions and take the moral out of it.
sometimes isagi wished he had tugged on that enough as much as he tugged his heart to yours.
he was about to send himself a clout. has he learned nothing? why can't he draw a clear line without the ghost of you obsessing in every corner of his life? so instead, he botches his hair to untidy navy-blue locks flying out of place, mumbling cusses to none other than himself.
He bet he looked like a madman, uttering loathes undertone within every step upon a stair he took. He swore he spotted a middle aged lady covering her son's ears in horror. maybe he wasn't muttering as low as he thought.
it was saturday, in which isagi takes a day off to greet his parents from time to time. and he wasn't gonna cancel that over some feelings he might've got the wrong end of the stick about, it was probably just lingering lust and affection he had for you, but I'll past. clinging to the mere possibility and ignoring the ache that remains for too long than intended.
swirling the keys with his bare hands, isagi can view the frigid smoke of his breath appearing with every puff he let out. the tips of his fingers and knuckles were embarrassing standing out an angry shade of red, he forgot his gloves, again ,recalling: yoichi never really had to bat an eye when it comes to gloves. he'll even do it on purpose since you wouldn't think twice before launching yours to his frosty hands, while interlocking your hands with the other one.
now that he mentioned it, he always recollect how futile of an attempt it was. because the back of his hand will always remain polar, but at that time, it didn't carried a feather. he didn't really mind freezing to death if it meant I'll be in your arms. then he'll die any day.
isagi remains stationary, until his forehead rests the irony of his house door. he didn't know if he was deeply disappointed in himself, or just drowned by the sweet bygone days. gabbling something about how an idiot he was before taking a deep lungful of air and finally opening the door.
flinging his shoes to gods knows where, at this state even his mother's berating wouldn't budge a bone in him, yeah, this is how bad it was.
to his astonishment, there were no trails of his parents. isagi called, shouting once, twice. and gave up on the third time. he jogs around to the kitchen era, like expected: a dangling note covering some plate, informing him that they went out and they'll be back before dinner.Â
isagi just let out a defeated sigh, an obvious pessimistic wave looming over him. he was genuinely hoping to spend a family-time right away, and something to divert him away from the wraith of you.
a part of him wondered, what answer could he hand his parents, breaking the fact that you two were no longer together. his parents always loved you, adored you even. they'd definitely be shattered, he'll just muddle it by saying that you two drew apart till an ultimate downfall drilled up a hole in your relationship, leading to a break up. theyâll buy it, right?
blindly, isagi carried out the plat, slamming it flatly against the wooden table of the living room. making himself comfortable on the couch that held on the glimpse of his childhood, it was a pleasant to be at home again, and one of a great distraction.
he needed it.. anything to sway him away from the remainder of what name of this day earned..
from the corner of his eye, he spotted a second note. scoffing at himself isagi gets a grasp on it, living on the thought it might've been his parents requesting him to do chores, or just asking him to take extra care of himself.Â
isagi consulted it, even when a part of him begged him not to.
âdear, yocchan. we really hope you'll be the one to read this, but if not! hello yoichiâs partner, that's quite embarrassing if you're reading this hahaha. but anyway, we figured that today is your two anniversary, isn't that just great? We remember just yesterday they were being introduced to us for the first time. What a good time to be alive, but anyway. There's some surprise cake for the two of you to share! Happy anniversary, you lovebirds.- your mother (in law).â
âdon't get too carried away please! - your father (in law).â
isagi flouts, bitterly. so sorely that all the rock-hard grip of his hand went straight to poor paper, ripping it apart to fall into small chunks. the stomach-bug swirl, not the one with the butterflies plopping in the depths of his stomach, swarming with to define a new level of bliss. but a disgusting ache of venom mobbing, making him want to vomit in an instant.Â
if it wasn't for his neighbors, isagi would've outcry his lungs out of frustration. but he wasn't on the field, where his anger planted. Now it's just a sad smile etching on his features.Â
and maybe a drip of a few tears..
how long were you planning on haunting him for..
reo: he had to delete it.. for the longest period, reo had never been so glued on what he busted by his own hands, words and ego. he had no one to blame but himself, and yet no amount of strength that earth granted him, no matter how the sky have bore in tears gleaming the ground, a pool of agony cries pleading for him to do it.
all that and heâd still struggle to press the delete button. He just couldn't.
âman, just delete it already.â chigiri cried out, slamming his palms against the skin of his forehead. He was tired. and he wasn't even getting paid to deal with this shit.
âit's easier for you to say it, you don't get it.â reo sassed back, trudging inches away from the redhead who's eyes twitched in disbelief.Â
nagi and chigiriäžwell, mostly chigiri, have been summoned by a cry for help from their shared friend. just for the end of the world to be him trying to delete the pictures and videos of you and him, his ex that lived in his head rent free.Â
it was a wretched sight to see, his eyes were tearing up while scrolling through your memories together. chigiriäžgodâs greatest soldier, was really, really doing everything he can to encourage reo back on his feet. It was like helping a spineless creature to straighten up.Â
it's quite impressive, he can use all his abilities on soccer pitches, give his best assists, be the heart, the mind and the soul of the field. Yet behind the plate was a completely different person, a hopeless guy curled up in a ball of your blanket that carried most of your left cologne, and sobbing till the sunrise. and today was a special show, he was absolutely shattered because your scent was slowly vanishing.Â
all chigiri can do is pinch the bridge of his nose in foiling, âlisten, how about we go out or something? there's a nearby place we can get lunch and-â
âthey used to love that restaurantŠâ reo whines, shoving his phone into the redhead face, it carried a picture of you smiling blissfully and unaware, cheeks rife with food. âthey're.. cute, so cute it makes me want to die.â falling backwards on the silky duvet of the queen-sized bed.Â
âPlease don't, I still need my monthly allowance on genshin.â the one time nagi decided to finally say something, it had to be this. and chigiri never wanted to zip up someone's mouth so badly.
âyou keep on stabbing yourself in the throat, you dumbass. if you can't do it then I'll do it for you.â stretching out his arm, opening up his palms for reo to hand over the phone and get this over with already.
in an instant, the phone was being embraced tightly to his chest, âno! I can do it myself, I just need some time," Chigiri just raised his hands in surrender, mumbling a quick âwhateverâ as he jumped out the bed, leaving the extra space for his friend to grieve, alone.
it was a miracle that his tears still remain un-parched. Every photo he scroll through, the lump in his throat narrows painfully. clinching his lips upwards every time he crossed over while you were smiling, it hurts so good. He doesn't recognize whatever the knot in his stomach was reducing in sorrow or ecstatic.
he wasn't trashing any of those, he couldn't find it in his heart too. instead of criticizing himself of what he should've said to make you stay, what could've he done to swoon your heart instead of fleeting it. you'll keep on tip-toeing around his heartstrings and he'll let you without a charge.
he squeaked in his pillow, he just kept on bruising himself, torturing himself by the dim memory of what the two of you had once. something that not even money could regain or even soothe on. he yearned for one more kiss, one more embrace, one more chance to get a glimpse of you and he'll die a happy man, that's a lie, he'll misses you even after death.
he wished for you to come and haunt him, eat him to bits. but it was like he was the one haunting the crumbs of you.
on the middle of his groaning mess, an amber eyes staring sharply at him, his figure casting a shadow over his state. âhere, drink up.â nonchalant, he handed him a random juice he âeeny, meenyâ his way to. reo accepted the drink, his arm sluggishly taking it. chigiri swore he was about to crack the glass over his head if he wouldn't stop this pitiful little act of his.
âwhy are you even this hardcore sad? you were never like this in the last weeks.â
âit's their anniversary, but not anymore I guess.â nagi shrugged, still too focused on the screen of his phone to pay the slightest amount of attention. turning a blind eye when reo flinches a bit at his truthful wordsÂ
âhave anyone told you you're a terrible human being?âÂ
one sip, a second one. and his lilac eyes were watering for a million time. âthey used to love this drink.â he whispered.
âi genuinely hope you choke on it.âÂ
rin: it got so bad, he talked to sae about it.. running a few years backwards, if you told the sixteen years old itoshi rin he'd be seeking his own deadbeat of a brother to vent he'd spit out in your face with no second thought.
and if he could, he would've. because rin was rethinking his life choices, taking a step back every second yet taking two ahead then comprehending once again. and now there was no going back, what was between him and the urgent fate was a wooden door.Â
his hands buried deep in his pockets instead of making an attempt to knock. he found gazing at his pair of shoes much more entertaining.Â
he didn't have it in his head to think straight, not when you clouded over like an angry storm, all he can do is take it and let your teardrop roll down his face, or maybe they were his own tears, he couldn't savvy it.Â
after a deep lungful of air, rin thrust his forward, just an inch away, only to stop briskly. sae? really? just how desperate is he? very. he come to cuss himself for counting you as the one and only person he apostrophizes with. if only heâd listen when you would rant about him approving his social skills, he should've listened instead plugging his ears. He wished he listened to a lot of things you said..
in a rush, the door unlocked in a swift. almost making him funk backwards, unraveling the sight of his older brother, standing unimpressed. and before rin could speak a word, sae took the lead.Â
âyou know I could see your shadow casting under my doorstep, right?âÂ
Rin clicks his tongue in annoyance, and when he doesn't reply, the reddish head moves to the side, and rin steers his way in. shutting the door behind him, sae jog away, letting him take off his shoes. not even a proper welcome, he shouldn't have gotten his hopes up.
the apartment was quite tidy, a strong aroma loomed underneath his nose. Despite that, it was awkwardly dull, not even ghosts would bother haunting it. rin takes a seat in a solo couch, fumbling his fingers in a bothersome way, the silence was a deadline, not anything he wasn't used to.
It was just the first time rin had come here, by himself. without an actual family required to stick to the back.Â
or without you.
unintentionally, Rin's leg keeps thrusting. a bad habit of his when the tension gets thick. every passing second he berates himself even further, damn him for having only one path to seek solace in, for allowing only one soul to soothe over his frail heart, for authorizing only one embrace to delay him.
and damn you for carving open his heart. just to leave him to bleed.
the echoing steps of sae cut his strails of thoughts. settling down his cup of hot tea. rin raised a brow at the uncivil manner. âyou didn't ask for one.â his brother shrugs calmly, oh he was driving him nuts with this unchanged attitude.Â
breathe in, rin.
reverberating voice called, so he obeys. straighten his pouster. âI wanted to talk to you about something. it's important.âÂ
âI can tell. and your sidekick is nowhere to be found, did they finally ditch you?â
his hands clutching up in a makeshift ball, rin says nothing.
âoh, so they did?â sae blows a few times over the overheated cup, taking a sip then uttering something under his breath. âWell, that's unfortunate.â adding another cube of sugar as he retorted.Â
rin only got something out of this, that his brother didn't give a single fuck. and it drove him to the edge.
âYou can at least pretend that you care.â
ânever said I didn't.â
âyou didn't have to, it's fucking showing.â rin seethed, his clenched hand striking the table balance, making the sugar cubes fall out of place. his anger was collapsing even the sweetest floras.
that doesn't nuge sae the slightest, but makes him frowns his brows a bit, because he was the one who had to sweep that off later.
the tension was solid and bulky, and Rin refused to break eye contact with the equal hues. Daring him to say something, anything. Yet he took it as a challenge, like he always does. The only way he communicates with sae is by beating him, proving himself. He'll die on that hill, even if it killed him itself. even if it has killed you already.
he knew this was a stupid idea, he should've just rotted in bed, he should've kept on living in the repeated circle of misery. He should've just lived up with every rush of breeze rustling his mistakes over and over, where he could've sworn that it was your voice.
breath, rin.
he was fucking trying.Â
âSo what do you want me to do about it? be your wingman and pair you together again?âÂ
âor, you could just say nothing. listening is enough.â
after a moment of silence, sae shoulders ease up. a guster pointed for him to keep going. so rin dose, he rants and rants like he had the time of the world right in his palms. It was mostly about you, how you were something that became his everything, how he should've stopped you like he wanted to, how he let you be driven away like he always does, how he should've apologized like he was supposed to.Â
blustring about âwhat the ifâsâ and what would've happened if he just.. he loved you like you loved him.. if only he tried. he can't blame it on his immense ego, his lack of communication, the digged hole on his soul that you bleeded to fill, you gave all your flesh till there was nothing left but bones.
he could've rebuilt the broken pieces of your heart, but they were too sharp to hold. He bled within every one, he was bleeding to ashes, to nothingness.Â
you loved till there was nothing left to love about you. you drained down the hill. not even his blood could fulfill you.
his voice would crack, a dust cloud blows over his eyes, yet sae would stare at him ever so flatly. if he even dares to say disappointment. disappointed that his younger brother was just a copy past of him.Â
someone that kills everything he touches.
When rin has nothing left to say, sae stands up. reaching his pocket for a card that carries a name and a number. as the dark-head flipped the card between his fingers, blood-thirst eyes narrowed at him.
âa fucking therapist? are you fucking kidding me?"
âyou clearly need one.â
âI don't, is this some kind of lukewarm joke?â
âstop being corny, I'm trying to help you here. if you aren't willing to let yourself feel the sense of loss, you can suit yourself out.â
and with that, sae turns his back to him. like he always does. climbing the stairs to his bedroom, leaving rin to reconsider where his actions have driven him, how beyond it threw it all.Â
although, heâll never let himself feel the sense of loss. never. He'd rather be haunted by you than be alone forever, he'll be a stray till you pick him up again.
lmao wrote this with nagi plushie watching me like a hawk
#blue lock x reader#bllk x reader#blue lock#reo x reader#isagi x reader#rin x reader#isagi yoichi x reader#rin itoshi x reader#reo mikage x reader
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đđąđđđ„đ đđČ đ„đąđđđ„đ (đŹđđ°)
(đđđ«đąđŹđŹđ đđđđŠđŹ đ± đđđđđđ«)
Note: this one's been sitting in my drafts for so long now I don't actually remember anymore what was going to be ending because I left it like halfway but uh, I stirred my brain for something and came up with some angsty shit you're welcome. (And it's smut free! Yay!)
Warning/s: grief and loss.
You pushed your chair gently as possible but you were tired, exhausted and drained, so it scraped the floor, the sound scratching your ears. You winced and muttered an apology half-heartedly for the noise. You felt her gaze lift from her plate to look at you. âAre you done?â she asked, still watching you. You hummed and nodded, bringing your plate to the sink. Words ceased to exist after that.Â
When you returned to the kitchen table she was done as well. You watched her pick up her plate and deposit it to the sink, you helped her around cleaning the kitchen, both of you moving in silence and keeping your way out of each other but as you wiped away the table and she was tucking the chairs back in, you felt her warmth against you.
You didnât look or react. Keeping it all in a tight lid jar. You resume to wipe the table until the faint marks disappear to your heartâs content. She didnât say anything either. She was first to withdraw, though her hand fleetingly brushed the small of your back and you turned. You turned to look at her, you couldnât resist the temptation nor you had the will to just ignore it.
That at least you let yourself to devour. And despite the constant arguments these days, you still couldnât wait for the moment where your eyes met.
Your heart was hammering against your chest. You felt as though you were about to faint, there was sadness in her eyes, nervously fidgeting with the ring on her finger. âIâll be in the study if you need me.âÂ
You gave her a nod. You saw her eyes slowly falter from looking at you down to her feet, ashamed. âWaitâ you wanted to say however your lips remained pressed together. She left, taking small steps to slow down, waiting, still waiting for you to say something and silently hoping but you didnât until she was closing the door of her study and paused, just thinking, she should leave it half opened remembering how you always stick your head in just to check for her. The fond and bittersweet memory rendered her helpless from all the guilt.
It was a little later, maybe past ten oâclock when you abruptly awoke to the sound of shuffling, the vague noises from the television stopped, the room was dim without the vibrant colours from the screen. âYou fell asleep,â the voice said, unsurprised, it knewâŠshe knew and she paused whatever she was doing in her study to check on you.
You hummed, rubbing the sleep off of your eyes. You felt her hand on your shoulder, silently asking you to get up. You had half a mind to hold her hand right there, to savour the feeling of her touch and kiss it. Kiss all the pain away. But you decided against it, afraid it would be too much. So you stood up.Â
It felt coldâyour hands, you looked at them, and they were empty. So lonely and empty. It broke your heart. You wanted to hold her hand but she was so far away, walking in front of you.Â
When was it going to end?
She called your name softly as you unconsciously sank deeper into the abyss of your unending thoughts. Your name, not my darling, my sweetheart, or my love. Once more, your heart broke. You miss it, the way she would affectionately call you names, drawing the biggest grin on your lips and you would leap into her arms, burying your face into her neck. You miss her.
âYes?â you looked up to see her undoing the pins in her hair, her blouse was half open and untucked from her skirt. It reminded you of the bliss as you two ran around the house, going after each other barely having any clothes on and giggling like girls once you cornered herâyou knew for a fact she let you and not because you were swift and strong enough to pin a 6â3â woman with a body mass twice as yours wereâand then youâd kiss her and sheâd kiss you back, both breathless in the end with smiles on your faces.
She asked if the set of pyjamas she laid for you on the bed were to your liking. Your cheeks warmed, and you told her it was perfect. Little by little, you reminded yourself, everything would be better.
You sucked in a breath, fingers automatically unzipping your dress from the back but getting stuck halfway. It was little inconveniences like this one that really felt like the last straw after a particularly having a bad day that struck a nerve, âThe fuck is your problem!â you muttered, trying to pull the tab down but it wonât slide.
Larissa saw you getting upset over it. It was one of your downsidesâgetting easily frustrated over the most mundane things when you couldnât do it right the first timeâshe interfered, tapping on your shoulder and telling you to turn around before your head could explode in anger.
She smoothly pulled it all the way down, her eyes following the path of skin it revealed, she longed to feel you with her lips.Â
Larissa stayed there for a moment, unable to retract herself from you. She thought that maybe if she kept herself close to you, like this, her sadness would melt away, that her longing for you would shrink even just by an inch. Her arms ached to hold you. She wanted to kiss you. Fill you in with so many kisses until you decided it was enough. She missed you.
And you missed her so muchâthat, perhaps, was actually your last straw. You broke down, tears spilling from your eyes that you tried so badly to conceal with your hands on your face. The little sobs came, the shaking of your breath and light twitches of your shoulders.
She pulled you in her arms, gently giving you time to resist. You showed none and willingly buried your face on her chest.
âIâm sorry. Iâm so sorry.â the words repeated again and again, broken in between with sobs and sharp intake of breaths.
âIâm sorry we lost the baby.âÂ
It stung like a freshly cut wound for Larissa. She never blamed you, she never breathed out a word about the loss of your child, not a single one. She sat in this awful gown after the procedure was done, unblinking. Not a twitch of emotion or a tear. She somehow turned cold and completely shut the world down. It all changed, she changed.Â
And she blamed herself.
Every time sheâd see your face she was reminded of how hopeful you were, how full of life and physically vibrating with happiness when you found out she was pregnant. She should have waited for at least a month to tell you Incase this didnât work out like the others but she had a feeling. She had this hope, something she didnât feel before so she told you and it felt so fucking stupid of her.
âWe could try again,â you said, kneeling in front of her, holding her hands in her lap, âHeâll answer our prayers. He will. I know he will.â But she had had enough of it, she no longer believed.
âLarissa, please say something. Tell me anything.â
âI donât want to do this anymore. Iâm done.â she wiped the lone tear from her cheek, and stood up. It hadnât been a week since she was released from the hospital, her body had not recovered from the loss. It still felt like it was thereâthe little flutter. It was making her insane.Â
âWhere are you going?â
"To work. I'm not going to sit around crying all day. I told you I'm done."
That day, it felt like you lost her more than anything.
She pushed you away and you let her. Now you danced around each other, with intensified longing behind your eyes, your fingers twitching to touch, craving to reignite the fading memories of what you two once were.Â
She held you tight against her, giving into the needs of her body, of her soul. She let herself heal as the warmth engulfed the dead parts of her.Â
Little by little, she hoped it would get better.
#larissa weems x reader#larissa weems#larissa weems imagine#gwendoline christie imagines#principal larissa weems#gwendoline christie#billiedeansbitc
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