#had my heart broken far worse by friends than i ever did by romantic partners

[songbvrd]

about a year ago, i had someone i considered a best friend tell my mum (not me, my mum) that they weren’t speaking to me bc i did something to upset them, but rather than talking to me about it like an adult (their words), they were running away.

i spent months wracking my brain trying to figure out what i’d done. cried countless times.

i still don’t actually know. but the truth is that it doesn’t matter.

if it was a friendship worth having, they would have communicated with me rather than cutting me off. maybe i really did do something. maybe i didn’t. but in a decade long friendship which, by their own admission, was me being a far better friend to them than they ever were to me, i think i earned honesty and respect.

anyway. this is basically a journal entry, but i couldn’t stop thinking about it today for whatever reason.

[urwelcomeforthis]

Alex’s tattoo shows up the day after she punches Marcus Hinkle.

He had been picking on Kara in the hallway, dangling her math book above her head, taking advantage of his summer growth spurt.

Kara still doesn’t know what possessed Alex – Marcus Hinkle had been a thorn in her side since she had landed on Earth and started school a year ago, but whatever the reason, today was the day Alex couldn’t take anymore.

Eliza had been furious. Jeremiah had been (not so) silently proud.

Kara didn’t know what she had felt, really. Especially not when she asked Alex why, and the older girl had just shrugged and said “You’re my sister. It’s what we do.”

Up until this point being sisters meant fights in the hallway over the bathroom and ignoring each other at the dinner table.

Apparently, things were changing.

Kara is just waking up when she hears Alex’s hushed “What the hell?”

“What is it?” She asks, groggily sitting up and wiping at the sleep in her eyes.

Her sister is holding her forearm up, frantically scrubbing at a spot right in the middle, her eyes frantic.

“I don’t…. I don’t know! It’s like a tattoo but I didn’t get a tattoo! Fuck, Mom is going to kill me.” Alex sounds panicked as she continues scrubbing at the spot, and Kara feels her heartbeat speed up.

“You had a tattoo just appear on your skin?” Kara asks slowly, her mind suddenly far away on a planet that doesn’t exist anymore, in a culture she had been forced to leave behind.

Alex stops scrubbing and looks at Kara with a piercing gaze. “Yeah. It’s some funny symbol too, like the way you used to write before you learned English. Did you do this to me?”

Alex leaps off the bed and crosses the room in two quick strides, arm held out like an accusation.

Kara shrinks in on herself a little but nods. “I think so. I didn’t know it was possible here, but well, on Krypton when your soul mate reveals themselves, a tattoo linking you appears. I should have one too, somewhere, if you do.”

Alex stops dead in her tracks, her eyes wide. “Soul mates? But we’re sisters! That’s so gross!”

Jumping up from the bed, hands held up in surrender Kara hastens to explain further. “No! Not like that, I promise! Back home, people had different kinds of soul mates. Sometimes it was the romantic kind like you talk about here on Earth, but other times it could just be a compatible soul, someone who was meant to be a part of you.”

Alex still looks wary, if not relieved, as she tentatively holds out her arm. “So, what does this mean? What kind of soul mates are we?”

Stepping forward Kara delicately traces the symbols on Alex’s forearm. “It literally means “sister of the soul.” Je shesur. The symbol after it is unique, the way we would know we were linked. If this had happened on Krypton it would mean we were soul sisters. Not from the same parents but family just the same.”

Alex nods. “And here on Earth? What does it mean here?”

“The same thing. At least that’s what it means to me.” Kara refuses to meet Alex’s eyes, not sure she wants to see what waits for her there.

There’s a long minute of silence after Alex takes her arm back. The clearing of her throat brings Kara’s eyes up from their place on the ground.

“Where’s yours?” Alex asks, eyes burning with curiosity.

Kara shrugs. “I don’t know. It’s not on my arms like yours is. It must be hidden. Can you look on my back?”

“Sure.” Alex nods. “Lift up your shirt.”

Kara turns and tugs her shirt up and over her head. It takes a moment, but she hears her sister gasp followed by the feel of fingertips against her left shoulder blade.

“It’s the same as mine.” Alex says reverently, and Kara closes her eyes against the emotion welling up there.

Who would have thought she would get to have this piece of home?

“So, I guess I’m stuck with you. For like, ever, huh?” Alex smiles once Kara has turned back around.

Kara grins back. “Yeah, I guess so.”

Alex shrugs. “Could be worse. But you have to tell Mom about this, because she’ll never believe me, and she is going to be pissed that I have a tattoo.”

“Sure, I can tell Mom.” Kara grins, a piece of her heart settling in place. She hasn’t felt at home on Earth, not really, but at this moment she feels like it isn’t all that bad.

--

The next person to get a tattoo is, interestingly enough, James.

It doesn’t come when they’re dating, or whatever it was that they were doing, no.

It comes after he has revealed himself to be Guardian, and he and Kara have the biggest fight of their friendship.

Kara wakes up the morning after tired, groggy, and more than a little cranky. Its as she’s stripping down to get in the shower that she notices it – the Kryptonese scrawled along the inside of her right bicep.

Throniv Shesur. Protector of the soul.

Kara heaves a deep, deep, sigh and grabs her phone.

She meets James at the DEO, both tentative around each other after the yelling match of the day before.

“So. I woke up with a tattoo. Kryptonese. Any idea what that’s about?” James looks smug, like he’s won some kind of battle with Kara and god, at that moment she wishes they were in the training room and she could just punch him.

“Yeah. I did too. It means “protector of the soul.” She crosses her arms against her chest, desperately trying to hold onto her anger from yesterday but the wide grin on James’ face is making it hard.

“I know. I asked Clark first thing since I figured you’re still pissed at me. He was a little surprised, but he translated it for me.”

“Where’s it at?” Kara asks, still pretending to be upset but truthfully it was hard given the glaring message from home telling her that James was meant to be Guardian. That they were meant to protect each other. Protect others together.

“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” James says with a waggle of his eyebrows and that’s what finally breaks Kara, a laugh ringing out across the room.

It wasn’t who she expected to have a tattoo, not in this way at least, but if it had to be anyone, she’s glad it’s James.

--

Mon-El doesn’t get a tattoo. Kara wishes she were more disappointed.

--

The last person to get a tattoo is someone Kara had desperately hoped both would and would not get a tattoo.

For a long time, she feared what that tattoo would be, if it were to happen. She feared having to explain it, having to explain herself.

She had checked with Clark a few times, when paranoia would get the better of her.

No, he always told her. Lex did not have a tattoo. They were enemies, yes, but it hadn’t been decided by destiny or fate. It just was.

That mollified Kara because she couldn’t stand it if she and Lena were to become Clark and Lex. She would fight against it, fight against fate to keep it from happening.

And then, well. It kind of happens anyways.

They aren’t enemies, not really. Lena just hates Kara and aims a few Kryptonite cannons at her and tries to mind control the entire planet, but really everyone is allowed a brief lapse of their sensibility, right?

And what matters is she came around, in the end.

It did take time, however, for them to build back to what they once had. It was different now, but in the way that things once broken and fixed usually are.

It was better, if anything.

They were back to shared lunches and dinners, quick breakfasts and coffee breaks. They were back to game nights as partners and movie nights as friends, and the occasional sleepovers as best friends.

Things were finally back to normal, so of course Kara had to go and absolutely, irrevocably, mess it up.

It was Alex’s fault, really.

If she hadn’t said anything, if she hadn’t asked Kara what was up between her and Lena lately, Kara probably never would have stopped to think about it.

She never would have stopped to think about the way her heart sped up when Lena entered a room, or the way her palms got sweaty when they hugged, or the way she just could not stop staring at Lena when she laughed at game nights.

But now she had thought of it and had come to the very scary conclusion that she was in love with her best friend.

Her best friend who didn’t have a tattoo.

She would, after all this time, have a tattoo, the tattoo, if they were meant to be together, right?

Kara mulls it over for weeks. It haunts her. She asks Lena about tattoos, and if she has any.

She learns that yes, in fact Lena does have tattoos and boy howdy one of them is on her lower back and it is seared into the back of her eyes now that she has seen it.

But she doesn’t have any kryptonian tattoos, which is really what Kara was aiming for.

Much like it was Alex’s fault that Kara even realized she was in love, it’s also Alex who reminds Kara of one important detail.

“Well I didn’t get my tattoo until after I punched what’s his face. Maybe you have to tell Lena how you feel and then she’ll get the tattoo.”

Kara feels dumb struck, right there on her own couch, because of course, Alex is right.

The tattoos always come after the person has already revealed themselves.

Then of course comes the true fear: what if she tells Lena and she still doesn’t get a tattoo?

That’s the question she’s mulling over the next night as she and Lena sit on her couch watching some documentary that had been put on Netflix.

Lena looks beautiful, face bare of makeup, hair piled on top of her head in a messy bun, glasses slipping down her nose.

She’s eating a piece of pizza, a rare treat after a long week of work, and Kara decides that it doesn’t matter if Lena doesn’t get a tattoo.

She’s hopelessly, desperately in love with the woman and she can’t let a tattoo that may or may not come dictate her life.

“I’m in love with you, you know.” Kara blurts out, like this isn’t a life changing moment, like it’s the easiest thing in the world to say. (It is.)

Lena chokes a little on the bite she was swallowing, her hand coming up to her chest as she sets down the slice.

“Excuse me?”

Kara laughs. She’s never felt more free than in this moment. “I’m in love with you. I just thought you should know.”

Lena looks at her, shock written all over her face. “Oh. I guess that’s good.”

“Just good?” Kara nudges Lena’s thigh with her knee.

Lena shakes her head. “I mean it’s more than good, considering I’m in love with you too.”

“Yeah?” Kara could float up to the moon, she thinks.

Lena smiles, nose crinkled. “Yeah.”

It’s the next morning that Lena calls and asks if Kara can stop by. She has this tattoo she didn’t have yesterday, right on her ribcage, and it looks like it’s Kryptonian.

Kara frantically searches her own body, finding the script on her hip, on the left side.

Zhao Shesur. Love of the soul.

It took them five years to get to this point, but Kara knows, this moment was more than worth the wait.

[brelione]

Bestfriends Brother (Rafe Cameron X Reader)

0I kind of hate this but I was rewatching Victorious and got this idea

I call you up when I know he's at home

I jump out of my skin when he picks up the phone

Why can't I tell if he's looking at me?

Should I give him a smile?

Should I get up and leave?

  Some might say that it was creepy that you knew when Rafe was around but you couldnt help it. You and Sarah had been friends for two years now which meant you went over her house pretty much everyday, you had picked up on her brothers habits. 

He was never around on Saturdays and he went out on Mondays and Wednesdays to go to the beach and do his little band practice at Toppers house. You couldnt help but develop a small crush on him over the years, feeling your cheeks heat up whenever he looked in your direction or when he asked how you were doing. 

Eventually you had fallen head over heels for him, thinking of him throughout the day. And when Sarah got her phone taken away it only made things worse because you had to call her house phone. The first time you called Rafe had answered first.

 It was a sunday morning and his voice was still raspy from sleep. Now it became something that got your heart racing, calling earlier in the mornings before Sarah was awake just so that you could hear his voice. She had noticed, slapping your arm whenever he walked away. 

But little did you know that he was starting to feel the same way about you, purposely looking at you for longer and being sure to flex his arms. It was all a little game to him, watching how flustered you got. You never knew what to do when he’d lean against the counter and start conversation with you while Sarah was grabbing something from her room. There really was no right reaction.

I know it's strange

I don't know what I'm thinking

But is it wrong if I see him this weekend?

I really hope I can get him alone

I just don't, don't want her to know

 It was a sunny Sunday afternoon when he finally asked you out. Sarah had stayed up all night watching the Fifty Shades of Gray Movies and was still in bed when you decided to go out to the pool. He joined you, asking if you’d be interested in going to the beach with him the upcoming Saturday. 

Of course you said yes, not realising until after that it might be a bad idea. As much as you liked Rafe it still felt wrong to go out with your best friends brother. Surely Sarah would understand, right?  Later that night she asked if you wanted to go to the movies with her and see the newest shitty romantic comedy with one of the Sprouse twins. 

You felt bad declining her offer, trying to think of any reason at all as to why you couldnt go. Truth be told that she was your only friend and there was really no reason for you to be doing anything on a Saturday without her. You couldnt tell her that you were going to the beach, she’d insist on going with you.

 “My aunt is having a family gathering on the mainland, i might stay the night at her house.”You answered, trying not to give yourself up. “Why didnt you tell me about this?”She asked, not too suspicious. “I just found out this morning when I went to leave.”You replied. She hummed, turning over on her raft. “Is it the bitchy aunt or the cool one?”She asked, hearing stories about them both over the years. “The cool one, obviously.”You grinned.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

My best friend's brother is the one for me

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

A punk rock drummer and he's six foot three

After that first date you felt like you would never date anyone again. That might be dramatic considering the fact that you were only seventeen but that didnt matter. He was everything you had ever wanted in a guy. He was sweet, he had a sense of humor and he was in a band. 

The band thing didnt matter but it was definitely a plus, just like his height. After the third date he invited you to watch his little band practice. They all knew that they werent ever going to perform anywhere, they didnt really want to.

 THey had more fun making music and hitting things in Topper’s soundproof basement than they ever would on stage in front of people. When he invited you thats how you knew it was official. He had never in the history of all of his partners ever come to his band practice. YoU jUsT WErEnt LiKe oThEr GirLs.

I don't want to, but I want to

'Cause I just can't get him out of my mind, and

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

My best friend's brother is the one for me

 You had considered breaking things off earlier in the relationship, too paranoid that Sarah would find out. Sarah’s friendship meant a lot more to you than dating Rafe, the two couldnt even be compared. 

But you just couldnt bring yourself to do it, you finally got the guy that you had always wanted and nobody was getting hurt by it. The two of you would sneak kisses when she wasnt around and when you slept over you’d sneak into his room in the middle of the night. 

The adrenaline of it all just made your life so much more exciting, you didnt really plan on giving it up anytime soon. And you were too far into the relationship to stop it now and you were just too deep in the lie. And what Sarah didnt know wouldnt hurt her.

@sexytholland @28cnn  @popcrone818 @fttayla @cherryobx @n1ghtsh4d3-67 @drewstarkeyobx @poguestyleskye @judayyyw @jjtheangel @jj-iz-bae @sunwardsss @meaganjm  @sarcasticsagittarius1998 @natalie-kate-98 @nxsmss @broken-jj @joshy-obx @prejudic3 @annmariek8 @imagines-07 @pink-meringues @ibookofstars   @lostaurorax @clearbolts @shannonsandfor5  @outerbongs  @copper-boom  @httpstarkey @teenwaywardasgardian @deionswannabegirl@simonsbluee   @jiaraendgame  @khiaraaa-in-spacee  @on-socks-off  @abbiesthings @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless  @lostaurorax @batcat46

[thefanficmonster]

Just Another One

Sequel to: ‘A Little Bit Of Honesty’

Corpse Husband x Actress!Reader (Female)

Warnings: Angst, Heartbreak, Mention of bad past relationships, Swearing

Genre: Angst, Romance, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: They keep proving each other right in the most wrong ways possible. They each want to be guarded even if that means the other will be hurt. Maybe that’s what they want - to hurt one another because they’ve already hurt each other once before.

Requested by the lovely readers who enjoyed the previous fic ‘A Little Bit Of Honesty’. Sorry for the large time gap between the posting of the two fics but I still hope you guys will take the time to read it and if so I hope you enjoy it! Love you all with all my heart, Vy ❤

When you go out of your way to avoid leaving the house your options of entertainment are severely limited and you can’t blame anyone or anything but yourself for it. Today, I wouldn’t have gone out of my apartment even if I was one of those people who frequent the outdoors seeing as how the sky is trying to flood the Earth with all this nonstop rain. It does set a mood for a perfect night in but when you spend all your nights in doing the same thing over and over again, the atmosphere is practically meaningless. And so I ‘ve decided to resort to channel surfing as though I’ll find something interesting on TV that I haven’t yet seen on one of my social media timelines.

I pass several cooking channels on my journey, making a mental note of their individual numbers in case I don’t stumble across anything capable of better distracting me from my boredom and loneliness that’s slowly starting to creep in. I pass by a few movie channels showing teenage romcoms as if to celebrate the start of summer so you can imagine how quickly I moved on from those. Then come the celebrity channels which can often get a laugh out of me because of how pathetic and unbelievably ridiculous they are. And so, I stick around one where there’s a broadcast on a movie showing that’s happening tonight in LA. Oddly enough, despite my anxiety, going to a movie showing has always been on my list of things I’d want to do. This can be considered living vicariously or rubbing salt into the wound that I’ll probably never go because my anxiety and fear of being recognized is too severe. Either way I stick around to watch it.

And man do I regret it now looking at several different angels of a couple of actors entering the venue where they are to be photographed and asked questions by the mob of paparazzi that’s gathered due to the massive event. That in and of itself doesn’t sound - and really isn’t - so bad. However, it’s important to note that the actress in this duo is Y/N. Y/N L/N. My Y/N....shit, sorry, I mean my FRIEND Y/N, her arm linked with whatever-the-fuck-his-name-is who is holding an umbrella above the both of them, shielding them from the downpour of rain that is also taking place in LA apparently.

“The two were seen entering the venue earlier this evening, looking particularly cozy in each other’s presence if I do say so myself. The rain probably worked nicely in their favor.“ The first reporter says, her teasing tone of voice sending chills of anger down my spine as I glare at the screen, hands balled in fists, jaw clenched - all my body’s instinctive reactions to what is being shown to me. I know I technically have no right to behave or feel this way, in fact I should be fucking happy for Y/N and her successful career and the progress in her love life. But damn it how can I?! I was so damn close to kissing this girl! I was so fucking close to falling in another trap, tripping and landing in the embrace of another liar and user, another girl who switches partners more often than shoes. How could I’ve been so reckless to get so close to her even platonically? How did we become close enough for me to 1) show her my face; 2) start inviting her over to my apartment regularly; and how didn’t I notice the kind of messed up person she was all that time.

She was all sweet and flirting and shit a week or so ago and now she’s doing the exact same thing with him! The cameras are capturing them perfectly: every laugh, every exchange of a knowing look or nod, ever smack to his arm when he tells a joke. But what bothers me most is the many times he’s wrapped his arm around her to pull her closer. Not just for pictures, but just because the fucker felt like it! And Y/N doesn’t seem to mind it at all. 

“They have been the talk of the town recently, so while they could just be adding fuel to the fire, they could also have been caught by the flame and ‘caught feelings’ as they say. Regardless these two are a view we’d like to see more often.“ The other reporter says and that’s the final straw.

In one swift motion I turn the TV off and throw the remote across the room. It hits the wall and falls to the ground in several pieces, broken by the force of the impact. Just like I am broken by the force of the impact of these news. I don’t know which is worse: the fact that I fell for her and almost let her know it; the fact that she’s just another member of the club I don’t want anywhere near my life; or the fact that I can’t believe it.

Yeah that’s right - one foolish part of me refuses to believe that’s she’d do such a thing. I think that’s the same part which is still in awe of her so you can bet I ignore that part the majority of the time.

She is just another one. Not the one. Having been hurt before doesn’t mean she won’t hurt me or anyone else she’s gonna be with. Hurt people hurt people.

And damn has she hurt me, probably without knowing a damn thing. How selfish can you be, Y/N? How selfish can you really get? And how much am I going to allow you to hurt me?

                                                             *  *  *

“Thank you so much, Andrew. I would’ve died on the spot of anxiety if I was on my own.“ I say to my best friend who is currently sitting next to me on a park bench, in a tux, eating a cheeseburger. I too am still in my gown and am also gorging on a cheeseburger of my own.

“Don’t mention it. Us anxious people need to stick together.“ He bumps his shoulder against mine, stealing a small genuine smile from me, “Plus I couldn’t not come with you. You know how much I like a good rumor.“

I scoff, “Of course you do, but then again there was no need to add to what the media has already made a whole-ass ship out of.” I roll my eyes and take another bite. My appetite hasn’t been in its best condition so I’m only eating this under Andrew’s orders. I have no idea how people can ship us romantically, he’s the definition of an older - and very bossy - brother to me. I wish I could tell each and every single one of those girls who hate me because I’ve ‘stolen their man’ that I’d most likely be their sister in law rather than man snatcher, seeing as how my relationship with Andrew is so sibling-like.

That’s because we’re too alike, no one gets that. People play the ‘opposites attract’ car more often than I consider rational. But  then again when they see a couple like Andrew and I - who are basically the same person in different bodies - they suddenly think we’re super compatible. Trust me, we’re not. And everyone who’s been on set with us will tell you the same.

“What can I say...“ he shrugs, smirking at me, “I like the fun. I bet Becca doesn’t though.“

I can’t help but huff. Andrew is the only one I’ve ever openly expressed my frustrations with Rebecca to. He was super helpful on the subject, seeing as how he can relate - many partners of his have tried to use him, some of which even succeeded. He’s more than qualified to school me on the topic but it turned more into sharing bad experiences. One of which was that instance back at Corpse’s apartment.

“And neither does Corpse I suppose.“ As though he’s read my mind, he pokes the hurt spot, pouring salt in the wound causing me to visibly cringe as though the pain was physical - because it was, I felt it in my chest and in my gut, a sharp stab of guilt and regret. 

Why did I let it come to that? Why did I let us get so close? How did I not think of the consequences?

“I don’t care if he does or doesn’t.“ My hand automatically reaches for the pocket of the jeans I’m not even wearing in search of a cigarette. Not that I’d be able to light one even if I had them on me - Andrew would smack it out of my hand before I could even take a single puff.

He has the audacity to laugh, “You’re such a bad liar, Y/N.”

That’s all he needs to say really - that’s enough to make me feel seen and understood. Though that’s not always a good thing. I often times wish he couldn’t read me so well. Better said: I wish I didn’t let myself be so readable, you know. I’m just glad he’s the one who sees me because if it were anyone else they’d use this vulnerability of mine against me. I’m well aware that it’s a weakness, a really inconvenient one, but damn it I can’t get rid of it. I feel like I’ll be less human if I lose it. Everyone’s allowed to be vulnerable, some just are lucky enough to choose who they’ll be vulnerable around. I’m lucky enough to to have a choice, not so lucky in the people I choose to trust. Guess that’s not a luck thing, it’s just my inability to decipher whether a person is worth all the pain and torture of coming clean to them or not. So far many people have burnt me but two stick out in particular - Becca and Corpse. Corpse especially, which is the odd thing considering he hasn’t even wronged me in any way. At least not yet.

“Your phone’s vibrating.“ Andrew says, pulling me out of my overflowing head when he hands me my phone which I handed to him because of my dress’ lack of pockets.

“Thanks.“ I mutter through a sigh as I take it from him, checking the notification I’ve gotten.

My stomach drops: it’s a message from Corpse.

“Hey I saw you are in LA but we have a stream tomorrow, will you still be participating?“

Before I can reply, he sends me another message.

“I know you’re probably very busy but we get the most viewership on the streams when you’re in them so....“

I’ve probably been staring at my phone screen for longer than I thought since Andrew felt the need to make sure I was still breathing: “Hey, you ok? You look terribly pale.” I can barely hear him let alone reply. I can’t hear my own thoughts to know what to reply to him. “Y/N, you’re scaring me.”

I’m scaring myself too, Andrew. I’m scared too. I’m scared of how broken my picker has become. I almost kissed this guy! I almost entrusted all my thoughts, hopes, wishes and goals to him! What the fuck was I thinking?! Well, at least I know what he was thinking about - viewership. Likes, subs, views, publicity. The more eyes on the stream the better for him and everyone else. I genuinely want to applaud him, no one has been so direct about using me before. I was in a relationship with Becca for almost a year before I accidentally found out what she had been doing the whole time. No one’s ever smacked me in the face with this much honesty. It’s bittersweet really.

I want to laugh, I want to cry, slap myself across the face, slap him...I want to do so much, but all I can do now is sit in silence and think of how I could be so stupid.

He’s just another one, how did I not see that? How do I never see it until it’s too late? Why is one part of me still screaming: ‘He didn’t mean it like that!’

AND WHY THE FUCK DO I WANT TO BELIEVE IT?

@maat-the-prescriptive  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @itsminniekat  @hacker-ghost  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams @solowheein  @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01  @buddyemily   @the-albino-lioness  @stardream14  @gdhdkfnn  @nomadicgypsyy  @preciousskye  @fluffysuicideunicornsworld  @o-kaelin  @manacharlotte  @awkward-youtube-trash  @lolalee24  @bonky-beerns  @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian  @strawbrinkofdeath  @teenloves  @tams0527  @browneyespinkhair  @starstruckllamapuppy  @daisychains012  @y0ulooked  @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life  @jula-pauline  @melodykitty  @just-that-bi-girl  @crazybutconfidentaf  @lowellshade @alphakees  @bellero  @weallneednamjesus  @starryhanji  @boiled-onionrings  @husherstan  @fockingwhore  @melaningoddessthings  @prettypastelpetals  @haleypearce  @godwhyamiawkward  @y-napotat  @daisychainyoonmin  @little-miss-rebel3  @free-wheelin-bi-sexual  @redmoon261 @darkacademic2  @wiseflamingoqueen  @into-the-end  @namikhai-i  @nastiablr  @thelittleplantlover  @mirktuan  @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny  @vintagegothlover  @easygoingtheatre  @itsrandombooklover  @miiaivi  @emmybaybee  @befourgolden  @jjk-is-my-shit  @eternalteaaars  @spacebadgerx  @princesslunalight  @acequinn14  @samm48  @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa  @fo-love  @marishimomura-blog  @therealglenncoco  @cinnamonbun332  @killtherandomness  @sanshinexxxsan  @fee-btheweeb  @press-lay  @cathleenpotgieter16  @jazzydoesstuff  @moonlxghtbay  @forestrain2000  @hyunjinhugs  @blood-of-fandoms  @lovellylies  @ukiyolixx  @simpforhpcharacters  @chrisdylan17  @parkerjisung  @pedernille  @theodonyous  @wineandionysus  @malfoystilinskii05  @morbid-x  @coryisagee  @jessewa26  @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365  @raeanneinwonderland  @indecisive-empanada  @gluttonypalace  @loriane2503  @btsiguess-kpop  @khaoticbunny  @lucidlycactus  @smiithys  @rottenroyalebooks  @kpopgirlbtssvt  @fangirl-tc27  @fr0z3n-1  @notmesimpingfortechno  @shotarosleftpinky  @kunoi-chan  @idk-whats-wrong-with-me  @yikeroonie  @goldenstarofthunderclan  @poetry-and-tea  @ama-do-writing-stuff  @wishbonewolf  @emeraldxhope  @t0xick1tty  @kusuinko  @speakyourselfloveyourself  @sophia902103  @lo-manburg  @classsykittykat  @dmgama  @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee  @btsiguess-kpop  @akaashi-baby  @gun-jong-simp  @geschichtenfee  @yerapotato-wp  @browneyedgirl365  @thysagclub  @sparklycloudnight  @helloatomicshadow  @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal  @lucy-bunny17  @aaliyahh0  @katluckybear  @boyleanti  @straybids  @franchesca-791  @cosmicstorm19  @averyisbackinthetrashcan  @aomi-nabi  @xlanawriter  @allensimpsforcorpse  @sunnyrae-cessh  @ladykxxx08  @meowiemari  @renupf  @booklover76  @sra-verissimo

[sissytobitch10seconds]

Symbols of Heart

Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia/My Hero Academia Summary:  Four Soulmarks all the way up his forearm. A yellow monkey A white glove A pink horn A silver engine Four Soulmates, all of which he is far too terrified to meet. Warnings: Eating disorders, depression, anxiety attacks, suicidal ideation, suicide attempts, mentions of abuse, mentions of childhood neglect, bad mental health, poor relationships, and mental health recovery, transphobia, transphobic characters, transphobic slurs, and physical fights Word Count: approx. 40,000 Chapters: 16 Ship(s): Shinsou Hitoshi/Iida Tenya/Ashido Mina/Hagakure Tooru/Ojiro Mashiro

Archive link!

Chapter 1: Anxieties 

“Kara, come here,” the elderly, soothing voice called out from the wheelchair that was parked in the corner of the room. The purple-haired girl looked up from the book that she had been reading by the delicate fire blazing in the fireplace. She placed it down carefully before she rushed over to where her grandmother was sitting. “Sit on my lap, child,” she cooed, patting her legs with a gentle smile.

She did as she was told, sitting down carefully. “What is it, Grandmother?” she asked curiously. The elderly woman had always made her read before bed and never before had she interrupted that time, so her doing so now only spiked the child’s curiosity.

“I would like to tell you a story. Something that you will need for your entire life,” she answered, her eyes becoming distant and wistful. “Do you know where Soulmarks come from?”

“Everyone is born with a Soulmark,” she answered, fidgeting a bit sheepishly. “And they get bolder until you meet your Soulmate.”

“Correct,” the older woman said, her voice sounding wondrously prideful. She raised her sleeve a bit, exposing her arm. The wrinkled skin held a small white heart with a black lock in the middle of it.“This is my Soulmark, and your grandfather’s. Do you know where they came from originally? The tale of how humans were blessed with Soulmates?”

“No,” Kara shook his head, causing long purple hair to fall over her shoulder and in front of her violet eyes. 

“It started in Greece. Humans were originally made of beings with multiple heads and limbs. Though they all only had one heart, shared with multiple souls. One day, the human all tried to climb up the mountain to get to the places where the Gods lived despite being warned not to,” the elderly woman began to ramble. On her lap, her granddaughter listened intently. “The Gods grew angry, and as a punishment, they split them up into what we think of as humans now. Two arms, two legs, one head, and one soul, but the hearts were all broken into pieces. Soon, the other Gods from elsewhere heard what had happened and did the same thing to the humans that they were ruling over, as a way to make sure that the Greeks were getting properly punished. Once all of the humans were split up, they were forced elsewhere across the world. They were all hurting and aching as they tried to find the people that they had once been connected with. After quite some time, Aphrodite, one of the Greek Gods got together with the other Gods of love, and they all formed Soulmarks. Now, our Soulmarks lead us to those that we love.”

“Are mother and father Soulmates?” Kara asked, remembering every time that she had heard the two of them shouting at each other like they were nemeses. 

“Yes, they are. Even if they do not get along as well as your grandfather and I do. Not everyone loves their Soulmate in the same way. Some people just find their best friends in their Soulmate, some people find their life partners,” the woman explained, putting her hand on the young girl’s back as she sensed her getting upset.

“Does everyone have only one Soulmate?” she asked, her arm immediately flying to her lower arm where her four Soulmarks rested. 

“No, little one,” her grandmother soothed, placing a careful hand on her arm. “You are very special. You have four Soulmates who will love and care for you. Though you must love and care for them just as much as they do for you.”

“What if they don’t love me?” she asked, getting a bit unsure. If all five of them were Soulmates, there had to be a chance that they wouldn’t love her. 

“Kara,” her grandmother sighed, the name making the little girl flinch a bit. The elderly woman took notice of the flinch but chose not to say anything about it. “It is impossible for someone to not love you. Even if they do not want you as a romantic partner, or if you do not want them as a romantic partner, they will love you in a way.”

“Promise?” she asked, holding up her hand with only her pinky finger up. 

“I promise,” her grandmother answered, wrapping her shaky pinky finger around the young girl’s. 

Hitoshi blinked as he woke up, tears pushing out of his eyes and running down his face. It had been so long since he had thought about the memory of his grandmother. 

So much had changed since then, and it was truly the last calm moment that he had had with her. She had passed away almost two weeks later, leaving his grandfather grieving so much that he had passed away a month later. It had been completely world-shattering for him to lose both of his grandparents in such quick succession of each other. They had been his primary caretakers seeing as his parents were rarely ever home. 

He had been six when he had to learn to take care of himself. He had learned how to make breakfast from his grandmother before she passed away and lunch was served at school, so he hadn’t had to worry about either of those. Dinner had been harder, which left him so hungry that his stomach hurt most days. He lost scary amounts of weight until he had been so thin that his teacher called the police on his parents. His home life was thoroughly investigated. He was removed from his home when it had been deemed unsafe, and given to a foster parent that didn’t want another troubled kid. 

He had only lasted there for about three months before he was passed onto the next home. He spent the next three years being moved from home to home to home, never finding anyone that wanted to keep a malnourished, ‘freak’ of a kid. Having that happen only made his already existing anxiety ten times worse. He had been nine when he realized that the reason that he kept getting passed around was the fact that he had four Soulmarks on his arm. Another reason was that he had started asking to be called Hitoshi instead of Kara as he discovered that he related less and less with the female identity.

When he was ten, he fell into the only foster home that kept him for more than six months. They also fully accepted him when it came to his name and pronouns. They had even gone so far as to ask the school he was attending to call him by his preferred name and pronouns as well. They didn’t have any other foster kids, so they paid a lot of their attention to him. 

When he was twelve, he was diagnosed with PTSD from the trauma he had experienced when he was six and began to go to therapy. That same year, the couple that was fostering him adopted him. Just as his thoughts traveled to the couple that he now called his dads, one of them knocked on his door.

“Hitoshi, get up,” Shouta called out, his voice just as tired and put out as he felt. The purple-haired boy groaned just loud enough that his adoptive father could hear him as he pushed himself off of his bed. He paused, waiting for the tell-tale sounds of footsteps walking away from his bedroom door. Once he heard them he shed his night clothes and grabbed his new school uniform. He was still disgruntled from the more than vivid dream that he had had, meaning that it was harder to get his binder to fit than it was on most days. 

He stumbled out of his room almost ten minutes later, finally dressed into the uniform for the high school that he was going to be attending. It was early in the morning, earlier than most students would be up on their first day of school. He had to go to the school with his adoptive dads, who both taught there. “Remember to take your meds,” Hizashi called from where he was sitting at the table. 

“Yeah,” Hitoshi mumbled as he walked across the tiny hall to the bathroom. He opened the cupboard, pulling out the small prescription bottle. The pills were tiny, making it easy for him to swallow even on days where he woke up feeling so anxious that his throat closed off. His stomach rolled a bit as he grabbed one of the pills out of the bottle. The thought of having to eat or drink anything was incredibly unappealing, but he knew that everything would be ten times more awful if he didn’t take the meds. He took a deep breath, soothing himself a bit before he tossed his head back and forced the entire mouthful of water down his throat with the pill. 

He shuffled back to the kitchen, rubbing his throat as he tried to soothe himself. Both of his adoptive fathers sat at the table, Shouta having his morning cup of coffee that he always needed to fully wake up. “You ready for your first day of school?” Hizashi asked, looking away from where he been staring at his husband. 

“Not really,” he sighed, sitting down at the only other seat at the table. He reached behind him, stretching a bit to grab the fidget cube that he had on the bookcase by the wall. His hands fell into his lap as he began to play with it.

“What are you worried about?” Shouta asked, peeking out at him from over his coffee cup. “With both of us working there it’s not like you’ll get bullied like you did in middle school. We’ll make damn sure of that.”

“Shouta, swearing, You should get out of that habit before we start teaching again,” Hizashi huffed, looking at his husband for a minute before he turned back to adoptive son. “Middle school is really the worst part of everyone’s life, everything gets a little bit better in high school.”

“Dad, I get that you’re trying to help, but the kids kind of a had a reason for bullying me. No one has four Soulmates, it’s weird.”

“Not really. Having a weird set of Soulmates is pretty much normal at this school. One of your other teachers has two Soulmates who aren’t Soulmates with each other, just with him. Having several Soulmates isn’t weird, you’re just special,” Shouta rambled, staring down into the dark brown liquid that filled his mug.

“Okay. Whatever. I still have to go to school regardless of whether or not I want to,” he sighed, rolling his eyes a bit. He tugged on his sleeves, trying to hide the marks that peaked out of the bottom of his uniform. 

He had four Soulmarks, one of which was planted so low on his arm that it peeked out from underneath his sleeve. The one at the top was an intricate yellow monkey. The one underneath it was a white glove, and then a pink horn. The one on his wrist was a silver engine. He had spent a lot of sleepless night staring at them, wondering who might be looking at the same Soulmarks, wondering why they had been blessed with four Soulmates instead of the normal one. As he waited for his fathers to say that it was time to go, his mind strayed to what kind of people his Soulmates would be. 

The yellow monkey, would they be joyous and playful? Would they have blond hair? Would they be the class clown, or would they be the prankster?

The white glove, would they be rich? Or would they be deaf? Would they love Winter when they got to wear gloves? Or would they work in a garden?

The pink horn, would they like animals? Did they even like the color pink? Were they bullheaded? Or maybe they were aggressive?

The silver engine, were they rich? Or were they a mechanic? Would they smell like gasoline and oil? Would they be brilliant? Or would they be a burly man who was only good for moving heavy things?

Those were only some of the questions that had raced through his mind during his sleepless, fidgeting nights spent worrying. But there was always one that terrified him more than anything.

Would they accept him for being trans?

Follow the link to read the rest of it on Archive!

[misssunflowersandsangria]

Flutters and First Dates

Hello my pretty flowers!  I miss my Sai/Ino babies!   Not enough SaiIno on the timeline.  So have some fluffy fluff.  This takes place right after the whole Gengo incident/ it's the first date.  Enjoy! 

Summary: It was finally time for Sai and Ino's first date.

*

**

Flutters and First Dates 

After a few days of paperwork, mental and physical health checks it was finally time for Sai and Ino’s date. He felt run down by worry and stress that had nothing to do with the previous mission.  A sense of nervous anticipation battled with hopeful wishes of hand-holding and good night kisses. When he had first asked Ino out it was born from a place of gratitude. As time went by he realized that he did want to pursue a relationship with her.  A long-held secret of his that had been exposed when she walked through his mind. Ino was vastly different from him but she was radiant, strong and had been so kind towards him.  She was fascinating and he wanted to know more about her.  This was a strange occurrence.  His previous life left no room for romantic pursuits but now he wanted a relationship. To one day have roots and build a family. To get there though, he’d have to take that first step. 

Sai wanted the date to go well, it felt like this was his one chance, but he had no experience in dating or trying to gain the affections of a female. So he relied on what he did know and approached the event like a mission. He read and studied all the books about dating and relationships that he could find. He talked to Naruto and Sakura but found that they were completely worthless in trying to give love and relationship advice. Kakashi sensei and Yamato sensei were far worse. How anyone in this village managed to have a healthy working relationship was a miracle. 

Still, he pushed through. He wanted this to work out. Ino deserves the absolute best from him and he’d prove himself a worthy partner. 

*

**

“Sai?  Hi, what are you doing here?”  Ino was surprised to see him in the store. 

Sai had never felt so stupid. Of course she was there.  It was the only flower shop in town. Through his research, he learned that it was customary on a first date to give a small gift such as chocolates or flowers. This seemed like the easiest step. It wasn’t great advice when you considered that her family ran the flower shop. 

“Hello Ino, I just came by to pick up some flowers.”  He admitted, it would look foolish to give any other explanation.  Ino couldn’t help but smile at how embarrassed and flustered he was. 

“Of course, well if it was me I’d love to receive flowers like this.” She handed him a bright bouquet of purple and pink flowers.  He nodded, taking the bunch from her. 

“Yes, thank you. These will be perfect.” 

“Okay. Anything else?” 

“No, unless you think that I should pick up something else?”  He asked, looking around wondering if there was something more that she would like. 

She grinned, he was far too sweet.  “No, the flowers are perfect.” 

“Thank you, so I’ll see you tonight?”  He asked, hopefully wanting to be sure she hadn’t changed her mind. 

“I’m looking forward to it.” 

*

**

That night he arrived at her home a bundle of nerves, feeling flutters in the pit of his stomach. He didn’t think that he could have these kinds of emotions, they were supposedly trained out of him.  

“Hello Sai.”  She looked incredible more so than usual.  It made the floor feel like it was going to sink below him.  All the research he’d done and preparations made seem to completely fall apart at the sight of sky blue eyes. 

“I can’t do this.”  His hands were shaky while his heart pounded in his chest, a primitive need to run away coursing through him.  

Ino stared at him surprised but could feel the anxiety rolling off of him.  She placed a comforting hand against his shoulder. “Wow, hey what’s going on.”

“I’ve never been on a date and you’re you and you deserve someone who can do this.  I have no idea what I’m doing.”  It seemed a far better option to run away now before inevitably having his heart broken.  

“Sai, calm down. Dating is supposed to be fun. And honestly, I don’t think that anyone knows what they’re doing.  Let’s just go and have fun.  I promise, we’ll be okay.  Besides, I’ve been looking forward to this, I’d hate for it to be over before it even started.”  She assured him those electric blue eyes beaming up towards him. 

He was still so worried but he couldn’t stand the idea of hurting her.  “Okay, thank you, again.”  

He took a few deep breaths.  He used his senses to focus on her.  How she glowed in the moonlight, the familiar smell of roses around her, the warm hand against his heart.  How lucky he was that she permeated and filled his world.  Whether he walked away now or saw this through, there she would remain.  At least if he stayed perhaps he’d have a chance to know what her lips tasted like and what her heartbeat sounded like against his ear. 

“You look... amazing.”  It didn’t feel like an adequate description but it was all that he had. 

“Thank you, you look quite handsome as well..”  He was a little floored by the compliment. 

“Here, these are for you.”  She smiled at the familiar bouquet and took them gratefully. He’d added a few additional stems to it. 

“Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome, I thought you might like them.  They were handpicked.”  She just laughed at the explanation, thankful that he seemed a little more relaxed. 

“Ready to go?”  She asked, placing her hand out. 

He nodded, taking her hand in his, convinced that he would follow her anywhere.  “Yes.” 

Sai took her to a small restaurant outside of the village center that he often frequented. It was quiet, the food was delicious and their friends wouldn’t find them there. He had agonized over where to go and was thankful that she seemed to approve of his choice.  Ino was completely enchanted by the space, fresh flowers and candlelight dotted the entire restaurant.  

“This place is incredible.”

He shrugged, “Not until you walked in.”  She flushed at the sweet words and wondered whether he realized how flirtatious he was.  She was used to compliments, she relished in them.  When he offered them though, it felt so much more sincere.  

She reached up to kiss his cheek.  Now both of their faces had a rosy hue.  “I don’t know why you were so worried.  You’re doing great so far.”  

For all his fears the night was going well. Ino had always been sociable and so it was easy for her to talk and he was content to listen chiming in where he could. He was content to just sit there and watch her enjoy her meal while in his presence.  Being together like this felt right. Anyone in that restaurant could attest to the fact that his eyes remained fixed on her the whole night completely enchanted and amazed.  Before their date, he had written out a whole list of conversation topics worried that she might become bored. Thankfully he hadn’t had to rely on his research. 

Ino reached out to place her hand on his, the bright smile on her face leaving him breathless. “I’m having a good time.”  

His fingers curled around hers. “Thank you, I am as well.”

Sai was unlike anyone she’d ever dated before.  He was much quieter, blunt, a little shy but so kind and sweet towards her.  There was little more that she could ask for.

At the end of the date, it felt like no time had passed.  Being with her felt natural, and easy. Sai felt a sort of heaviness walking her back home.  Not wanting the night to end, not wanting any more days without her. 

They stood at her doorway and Sai put aside his fears for a chance.  “I read something in my books about the end of a first date, a way to determine whether it was a success or not.”  Ino grinned with a nod having an idea about what he was talking about. 

“Is that right?” 

“Yes, just please close your eyes.”  She complied, her eyes falling shut. She felt him take a step forward, a gentle hand coming up to hold her cheek. A thumb rubbed against her lips.  It moved along her cheeks towards her jaw as though he was trying to commit the slopes and lines of her to his memory. 

His fingers tangled into her soft blonde hair to push a lock back.  “God, you’re so beautiful.”  She heard him breathe against her ear. 

“Sai…”. She felt herself plead. 

He kissed her with a confidence she hadn’t imagined from him. His smooth lips moving sweetly against hers as her arms wrapped around him to remain steady and to pull him closer.

The feeling of her soft skin against his fingertips felt heavenly, her comforting warmth seeping into him. He held onto her tightly while she clutched onto him. His hands had been trained to paint, harm, and kill but now they were meant for something much greater.  To hold her, to comfort her, to keep her safe. 

With a grin and a soft blush across her face, she looked up at him. “I think that tonight was a success.”  The soft smile, a real smile that crossed his face left her breathless.

Her fingers gripped onto his shirt while he placed a featherlight kiss against her temple.  “I agree.  Good night pretty girl.” They stood there neither one ready to let go.  

“Good night Sai.”  He left her with one last lingering kiss, a promise of future nights just like this and much more on his lips. 

Ino fell into bed feeling weightless. She replayed the night and that kiss smiling to herself while there were flutters in her chest. She had a feeling that this would be her last first date. 

*

**

I'm pretty sure that in a novel it talked about how Sai had books about dating and relationships because he would totally do all sorts of research before! Okie darlings thanks for reading!  I hope that you're all safe and healthy!  Take care and love you lots! 

[hobiwonder]

Commissions

Hi everyone!! 

As you can tell by the title, I’m going to be opening commissions. As my part-time job starts up in January, I have decided to try making writing my casual job to earn some savings before I run out completely. It’s quite expensive in Australia especially to be a student without a job lol. I am actively applying for summer jobs but it’s a fat chance i’ll get hired this late for christmas casuals !!! (kms). I had been thinking about getting a ko-fi page but never felt my writing to be good enough lol BUT desperate times call for desperate measures hhhhhh.

So if you enjoy my writing, I’ll be writing personalised little stories for a ko-fi each. Doesn’t matter how many you want to give (one is $3). 

The drabbles will be between 1000 to 2000 words. 

Send me an ask choosing your prompt from the prompt list below. You can choose as many as you like and i will try my best to incorporate them all if they fit in one story.

Basically let me know in an ask: Prompt, Your name (if you want), any triggers I should avoid, physical appearance details in case I need them, age. Birth year is fine. AND THE MEMBER OFC LMAO

If you don’t like a prompt, you can also just give me a genre and i can surprise you :) (college au, barista au, etc.)

Write a nickname or a name in your ko-fi note so I can identify you and get started writing on your prompt. https://ko-fi.com/hobiwonder

Prompt list:

“That’s not yours.”

“Rot in hell.”

“Take off your shirt.”

“Ugh, you’re sweaty- get off.”

“Can we just pretend like we’re normal for once?”

“I dare you!”

“A kiss for good luck?”

“Just this once.”

“There’s something I have to tell you…”

“You’re making me think that what they told me about you was right.”

“Don’t get up, you’ll make it worse.”

“Cute, but still fucked up.”

“I’m not drunk enough for this.”

“Be careful.”

“You owe me.”

“You never mattered to me.”

“Please don’t let me be alone.”

“How did you talk me into this?”

“That’s not good…”

“Don’t try to fix me. I’m not broken.”

“You’re cold.”

“Be you. No one else can.”

“You’re a horrible liar. I’ve known you far too long to be able to tell.”

“Don’t think I forgot about what you did last time.”

“I’m scared.”

“When was the last time you slept?”

“I’ll never forgive you.”

“Quit ignoring me.”

“You have my word.”

“Kiss me and i’ll forgive you.”

“I never wanted to hurt you.”

“There’s nothing I can do anymore.”

“Even when you’re annoying the fuck out of me, I still love you.”

“I’m just looking out for you.”

“I told you not to fall in love with me.”

“Why are you so stubborn?”

“It was supposed to be a secret!”

“You’re my everything.”

“You need to keep pressure on it.”

“It’s never too late to get back up again.”

“I can’t breathe.”

“Stop talking.”

“This isn’t like you.”

“This isn’t who I am.”

“Would you just hold still?”

“If I die, I’m never speaking to you again.”

“I don’t know who you are anymore.”

“Come with me.”

“My clothes look good on you.”

“I will always protect you.”

“Wake up, please.”

“Please look at me.”

“When I’m with you, I’m home.”

“I never meant to hurt you.”

“Eyes on me.”

“Please shut up. Just shut up.”

“I’m tired, just cuddle me.”

“This is new.”

“I’m not okay.”

“Is that blood?”

“Run!”

“I wouldn’t change a thing about you.”

“That’s a lot of blood…”

“I immediately regret this decision.”

“You’re hurt, let me help.”

“That doesn’t look good…”

“Is that my shirt?”

“How did we get in this mess?”

“Move over.”

“What if one day I wake up and you’re not there?”

“You know me better than anyone.”

“You backstabber!”

“What happened to you?”

“stop moving, i’m almost done!”

“Are you testing me?”

“Please don’t shut me out.”

“You make me forget.”

“Just leave me alone.”

“I’m not moving, your lap is comfortable.”

“Just this once.”

“I made a mistake.”

“I SAW you with him/her/them!”

“None of this is your fault.”

“It’s so hot out!”

“Just breath.”

“We have to help!”

“I just really miss talking to you.”

“This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“I trust you.”

“Are you serious?”

“I’d like to see you try.”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Look at me.”

“I can’t sleep.”

“Can you stop thinking about yourself for once?”

“They’re gone.”

“It just… hurts.”

“I think we’re lost.”

“You deserve so much better.”

“I knew this was a bad idea.”

“I’m lost without you.”

“This is going to hurt.”

“I feel stupid.”

“I know you’re not talking to me…”

“What’s in it for me?”

“You’re everything to me.”

“I can’t do this anymore.”

“I didn’t want you to see this.”

“You’re safe now.”

“Are you going to talk to me?”

“You know me too well.”

“[text read thirty minutes ago]”

“I never want to see you again.”

“I know you lied to me.”

“Do you promise?”

“You know i’m not like that.”

“Am I dead?”

“It’s not what it looks like.”

“Do you ever mean the things you say?”

“I can take care of myself just fine.”

“You got this.”

“What are you hiding?”

“There is nothing wrong with you.”

“You’re sick.”

“I don’t know anyone else who can make me feel this way.”

“There is only one bed.”

“I can’t see anything.”

“How dare you?!”

“I’m sorry I scared you, I didn’t mean to.”

“I’m not even sorry.”

“can we just stay in bed?”

“That was kind of hot.”

“But I thought you liked this?”

“You… you never had a problem with it before.”

“I know it hurts.”

“What did you say?”

“How long will this go on for?”

“I’m just tired.”

“What have you’ve done?”

“Go back to sleep.”

More Prompts...:

Angst

“All I wanted was a happy ending.”

“Mistakes are easily made in the moment. Apologies are not.”

“I don’t want to feel this way anymore.”

“My emotions have been turbulent for so long, I’m not sure how to react.”

“My heart tells me to kiss you, my head tells me to walk away.”

“I don’t want material belongings! I want my heart back!”

“Until you can return the time I wasted on you, I don’t want anything to do with you.”

“Grief is natural they say. So is death. I don’t want either.”

“You can’t look pretty and dangerous at the same time. Not yet.”

“Kill everything dear to you and then you will know how it feels.”

“I don’t hold people close. It makes it easier for them to hurt you.”

“Don’t touch me. Your skin is poison.”

“Why won’t he/she/they call?”

“I’m dreading her/his/their call, I’m not ready.”

“I don’t like this, it feels weird.”

“Kill my feelings, kill my soul. Kill everything I am.”

“Don’t call me, I don’t want any contact with you.”

“Please don’t talk to me, I’m dealing with some stuff.”

“It’s not working out. We’re not working out.”

“Hey, I’m leaving for good. I’ll…see you around.”

Fluff

“I want to eat a yoghurt with you.”

“Can we make cake? I like cake.”

“I like your rainbow shoes.”

Please hold me. It’s been a day.”

“I’ve never felt such love.”

“The moon is high tonight, it frames you well.”

“I want to dance through an army of fireflies with you.”

“Stars pale in comparison to you.”

“My heart hurts when I see you and I find myself drunk on the pain.”

“I would give up everything for the chance to see your laugh again.”

“Monster Inc. was onto something, your smile and laughter runs my entire world.”

“I dedicated this nail to you, when I painted them.”

“All I want is to sleep by your side.”

“Cover me in badges of your love.”

“I’ve never enjoyed anything more than a hug from you.”

“You look yummy.”

“My hand was made to fit into yours. That’s all there is to it.”

“I didn’t get soaked wet through walking to your house for you to say no to pizza. I have beer too. I know you’re sad, so let me in.”

“This might sound so creepy but I want your skin. It’s so pretty.”

“You just dropped love into my heart and that’s all I needed.”

Soulmates

“It was a matter of time before we got together.”

“My soul sings when it feels you.”

“Please, please hold my hand, and make me whole.”

“My life missed yours forever.”

“If my soul had been cut in half at birth, it would have gone to you.”

“We’re two bodies with one soul only.”

“I couldn’t imagine my future without you now that I have you.”

“I feel like I’ve died now he’s/she’s/they’re gone.”

“Please take my soul and never let go.”

“I’ve never seen colour like I do with you.”

“All my soul yearns for is your presence.”

“We can’t win. Either I have you and my soul sings but your cries, or we’re apart and your soul rejoices but mine dies.”

“Time is what we don’t have, but you are what I need.”

“I didn’t think I could find someone as perfectly matched as you.”

“Please treat me with kid gloves, my soul can’t take much more.”

“Soulmates don’t have to be romantic. Sometimes your soul resonates with a friend.”

“This existence would mean little without you.”

“Why try to force it? If we’re truly soulmates, it’ll happen.”

“Please keep me close until the close of the final day.”

“Everything about you is amazing to me.”

Friendship Specifically

“Wow, that is a ridiculously bug watermelon. I love it.”

“Let’s drink wine and trash talk our co-workers.”

“What do you mean you’re sick?! You’re my partner in crime!”

Best friends are a rare breed and you are the best of best friends.”

“Everyone’s out on dates, want to each ice cream and binge watch (insert TV show/movie).”

“I’m here for you. I got your back.”

“Thank God for the internet. I don’t know how I’d live without you.”

“I’m the pun-master, you’ll miss me when I’m gone.”

“No one understands the effort of a long distant friendship.”

“They don’t approve of our friendship, but I don’t need them too.”

“In the end we migrate towards comfort. I am my most comfortable around you.”

“Why date when you can spend the night with me watching shitty TV and drinking.”

“Never underestimate friendship.”

“If you quote Yu-Gi-Oh’s power of friendship one more time I will kill you.”

“Even if we don’t talk for days, I’ll always be your best friend.”

“You can take as many breaks as you need.”

“Friendships can be difficult, but those that survive are magical ones.”

“You know I will be with you forever. Friends until the end.”

If they try to keep us apart, they’re idiots.”

“There’s nothing like a boys/girls/friends night.”

I would really appreciate anyone helping out. My writing definitely isn’t the best but i hope whatever I write for any of you; you will enjoy and feel it will be worth it. Even if you’re not interested, a reblog would be much appreciated!! 

Thank you :)

Maria <3

[dunmeri-bitch]

thank you @forevervobla for tagging me! I've never written something in this format before, so i hope i can get it right XD I'm tagging @iamthekingofsass ***

Name -> "I'm Volmasie Matdel, nice to meet you!"

Are you single? ->  Volmasie smiled and chewed on her lip, twiddling her fingers together. "Sort of? I have feelings for someone, and i suppose i have a bed-partner, but it's not official yet." she smiles and blush "Also, don't tell him I have feelings, please" Are you happy? -> “yeah I suppose so. a little stressed with the dragons and the war, still not over what happened in Helgen," she looks down for a moment and shakes herself out of the bad memories, "But I've had worse, so i suppose I'm okay"

Are you angry? ->  “no, not right now. I can get angry pretty quickly. Valtir says I make my feelings too obvious" she smiles a little and rubbed the back of her head

Are your parents still married? -> Volmasie shook her head, "No, my biological dad was never in my life, I don't know who he is, I've never met him. My mother and stepfather are happy together, despite the lack of a wedding ring"

NINE FACTS Birth Place? ->  "I was born off the coast of Tear. My mother moved from Morrowind to Bravil when she was pregnant, and i was born a little earlier than expected. she used to say that's why I've always been short for my age, and for a dunmer" she grins widely

Hair Colour? ->  "Ginger, or well when it's grown out. right now it's shaven so it practically looks dark brown" she runs her hand across her head and shrugged a little.

Eye Colour? ->  “snow-berry red, well maybe a little pinker than that"

Birthday? -> “5th of Sun's Dawn“

Mood?-> “little nervous, not sure what you'll ask me, but It's fine"

Gender? ->  “Female, I don't see why this is important though, unless you want something specific from me? know that I don't work for free, the fact that I'm letting you be so nosy is already more than I'm comfortable with"

Summer or winter? -> Volmasie shook her head, "neither of those, I like Spring and Autumn, I love the colors" she smiles and thought for a second, putting her index finger to her lip "although i do love swimming during the summer, so i guess every season besides winter. way too cold for my comfort"

Morning or afternoon?-> “afternoon, I love watching the sun set and seeing the inns fill up with life. that usually means septims for me"

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE Are you in love? -> “I don't know to be sure. I've been in love a few times, one in particular was during the war with the Thalmors, this Altmer, Runiel, saved me from- from some imperial solliders, and we slowly fell in love with eachother. sadly his family didn't approve of him being with a dunmer, much less a prostitute, so they forced him to come back to summerset.” she shrugged, looking down a bit, "I've had flings since then, but nothing like that" Volmasie looks up and peeked out the window where her companion was stood "Although... maybe something new is growing... if he'll return the feelings"

Do you believe in love at first sight? ->“not first sight, maybe second or third? i believe in quick love, but never firsts”

Who ended your last relationship?-> Volmasie thought for a moment and pursed her bottom lip "none of us did actually, we just drifted appart, and I haven't heard from them in ages, I honestly don't know if they're even alive still"

Have you ever broken someone’s heart? -> “not intentionally no, but sometimes costumers have taken too much liberty in how they view me. just because they becvome a regular doesn't mean I'll want to marry them and have their children” she shudders and frowns, crossing her arms.

Are you afraid of commitments? -> “gods, yes!" Volmasie groans and leans forward, holding her forhead "it scares the living daylight out of me"

Have you hugged someone within the last week? -> “Does hugging for warmth count?” she smiles a little "because if it does then i pretty much hug someone, at least once a day" she laughs and smiled widely, showing off her little tooth gap.

Have you ever had a secret admirer? ->  "Not sure which one you mean? I've had stalkers, yes" she grimaced and took a little sip of ale "but the romantic kind? not that i know of"

Have you ever broken your own heart? -> "would it upset you if I said that's what I'm doing right now?" she looked out the window and sighs

SIX CHOICES Love or lust? -> “why can't I both?"

Lemonade or iced tea? -> “Flin”

Cats or Dogs? -> “cats, definetly cats” she smiles "I think dogs are cute, but I don't want one of my own"

A few best friends or many regular friends? -> "again why do people always assume you can't have both at the same time?!"

Wild night out or romantic night in? -> "depends on who's asking?" she smirks a little "I'm very open for both options"

Day or night? -> “Nights, you'd be suprised at how much life there is during the dark hours, It's so beautiful in it's own way"

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS Been caught sneaking out? ->  "Oh deffinetly, so many times, which got me grounded and led to me sneaking out again” she snorts and shook her head "I was a restless kid, there was no chance of keeping me in one place"

Fallen down/up the stairs? -> “Weeeel i did slipp quite far down the steps up to the Greybeards.... don't tell anyone though”

Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ->  “ugh, yes, so many times.” she groans and pouts, crossing her arms "It's unfair, honestly"    

Wanted to disappear? -> “next question please”

FOUR PREFERENCES Smile or eyes? -> “Smile, not only is dental hygiene very important in my line of work, but a smile tells so much about a person.”

Shorter or Taller? -> “well I'm pretty short myself, but it has it's perks. Have you ever been lifted up by an orc sailor? experience for life” she grins "also makes me the perfect size for cuddling"

Intelligence or Attraction? -> “not sure actually, both are very nice”

Hook-up or Relationship? ->  "both have their ups and downs, it honestly depends on my mood"

FAMILY Do you and your family get along? ->  Volmasie nodded a little and smiles. "I do," she leans back in her chair "I was never an easy kid, so I may not always have given off that impression, but I love my mother and stepdad dearly, they've helped me so much during my early years. i miss them" Would you say you have a “messed up life”? -> “Depends on how you choose to view it. I'm an exotic dancer, sex-worker, and I don't have much wealth, and I can't read. but on the other hand, I'm traveling with friends, I get to see corners of the province people have long since forgotten, I've held ancient artifacts in my hands, and I get to see the immense beauty this place has to offer. I have enough money to go to bed with a full tummy most nights, and I'm traveling with someone with an appetite you barely can describe. I may have made stupid choices, but I'm quite happy"

Have you ever run away from home? -> "I've run away a few times as a kid, ended up kidnapped by gobblins once and got into bad groups other times, but it never took long before I found my way home again, one way or the other"

Have you ever gotten kicked out? -> “you mean from taverns, right?” she snorts and nodded "Let's just say me and Valtir aren't welcome at the bannered mare before we replace that bed we broke"

FRIENDS Do you secretly hate one of your friends -> “I have a few friends i wanna punch sometimes, but I don't hate them” she laughs "But then again i reckon they want to punch me too sometimes"

Do you consider all of your friends good friends ->  “yes!” she nodded and smiled widely

Who is your best friend -> “hmmm Dahika is a dear friend of mine, things are never boring when she's around, and Valtir is a dear friend too."

Who knows everything about you -> “well you are very close, but i supose Runiel or Dahi would be the ones with the most blackmail material on me" she smiles and giggles

[gottawriteanegoortwo]

Darkstache Day 2: Past and Present

Dark remembers a time when the concept of him falling in love was impossible. But the past is not what the future is, and it requires a little support to help him see that.

TW: Implied conflicted internal homophobia (but it’s a happy ending!)

Word Count: 1,425

--

“Reality”

--

They say the truest form of loneliness is when you are in company. Damien would hasten to agree. Ever since he became Mayor, he felt isolated from everyone, and yet he was surrounded by more people than ever before. It was a bizarre reality he found himself in.

If he were to be honest with himself, it only became more apparent once he began attending formal functions as the City Mayor. The invitations always read “Mayor Brooks plus one”, yet he nearly always went alone. He was a very busy man, Damien would tell himself. He didn’t have time for love. While he would engage in polite conversation and socialise, Damien would find himself watching couples mingle or dancing on the floor. Ultimately, it would remind him of the cold reality that he refused to acknowledge - no woman really took his attention.

When he watched couples dance on the floor, it was the male partner that drew his eye. That neat, well-fitted look of a man in a suit was something a part of him longed to draw close to. Yet no matter how hard he tried, he could never trick his foolish brain to do what a normal man ought to and view the woman in the same light. Of course he could see their beauty, of course he would compliment how fair and pretty they looked with utter sincerity; but it was impossible to imagine himself in a happy relationship with any lady he met.

Damien would never be able to love someone as he wanted to. That was his reality. The parties reminded him of this time and time again. They were far more sophisticated than the soirees Mark would host - Damien would often compare the formal events to games of chess. One wrong move and it would all be over in a flash. When conversing with other guests in groups, he would learn of rumours and stories of others in this ring of society that he was still adjusting to. A man was caught cheating on his wife, but instead of a mistress, it was another man. Two men living together for years were considered “a bit funny”, but no one could say for sure if it was true or not. Constant little reminders that if Damien was caught with another man, he would be publicly disgraced (without bearing to think of how it would affect his personal life). He had fought hard to get to his position and stay there by 27. As much as he wanted to be in a loving relationship, it just wasn’t worth the risk of losing absolutely everything.

He would insist he was too busy for love, that he “wasn’t looking”, or any excuse for someone not to try and find him a partner. He had so much love in his heart, but he loathed that part of himself. Why couldn’t he be like a normal man? Why couldn’t he have had his heart stolen by a charming young lady? Why did he have to be broken?

Even now, he was broken.

Physically broken. Emotionally broken. Not quite mentally broken, but certainly cracked.

It was the reality Dark lived in.

And yet… There was Wilford.

Wilford. That mysterious, wonderful man that was nothing like the soldier he used to be and simultaneously the exact same The man who could find the strangest ways to bring a smile to his face. It was so long ago now, Dark couldn’t remember if he had romantic feelings for William when he was Damien; but it was a fact he couldn’t ignore every time he looked at Wilford.

Speaking of, the reporter was staring at him rather intently.

“Somethin’s troublin’ ya.” Three simple words, and Wilford hit the nail on the head. Dark’s gaze shifted to the side, before he let out a slow sigh.

“Will… Do you this is all… Strange?” It was difficult to explain it. Frustration was clear on the entity’s scarred face.

“Everythin’s strange, sugar. That’s th’ beauty of life! A bitta madness goes a-”

“No, no. I mean us.”

“Us?” Wilford sounded hurt at that, and Dark internally scolded himself for being so inarticulate. He would only make matters worse if he kept dancing around the topic that had been troubling him all day.

“No, that’s not - Let me start over. I… Will, do you not find it a little strange that we - two beings who identify as male - are in a romantic relationship?” He lifted his hand to interrupt Wilford’s likely counter. His nerves began to fail, and he had to drop his eyes to the ground so he could attempt to continue. “It goes beyond what is considered the norm, and has so many… Risks.”  It was strange. No matter how many times he had made this argument to himself, Dark couldn’t find the words to express his internal conflict. However, Wilford’s worry shifted to calm understanding as he pieced together what was going on in the other’s mind.

“You question why our relationship goes beyond the norms others have set?” Wilford asked for clarification. His voice lacked the normal drawl. Dark nodded. “Despite not raising an objection to this when I asked you out on our first date, you feel a little uncomfortable?” He waited for a response, and a long moment passed before Dark nodded. Shame radiated through the gentle glow of red and blue. The reporter reached out and put his hand on Dark’s shoulder. When there was no attempt to brush it off, he knew he was safe to continue.

“Dark… Do you love me?”

“What? Of course I do.”

“And I love you too. That’s all that matters.”

Dark finally braved looking up at Wilford, and at last he could see what was going on. Black was peppering that pink moustache. Those eyes held more resolve than ever before. His posture was slightly straighter than usual. It was as if the Colonel sensed the Mayor’s distress and was trying to reach out in his own way. As though acknowledging this, Wilford smiled.

“Love is love. It doesn’t matter what gender the other sees themselves as. It doesn’t matter what the world says. If you’re in a position where you can love, then love. You might have been taught that love can only be in a certain way, but things are different now. You and I… We’re just as valid as Mark and Amy, and no one can change that. You deserve love. Our friends supported both of us through this. I spent weeks trying to woo you. I’m not letting you slip away because of the fear of what others might think of you. Sometimes… A little risk reaps all the rewards you’ve ever wanted.”

Dark didn’t object when the larger man pulled him close for a tight hug. After all the thoughts of uncertainty and the memories associated with them, he felt grounded. He felt safe. And if a tear or two slipped down grey skin, neither would comment on it.

“I love you, Will,” he murmured against the other’s shirt.

“I love ya too, Dark.”

It was several minutes before either pulled back, though Dark didn’t leave the other’s hold. Wilford was back to normal. Black strands had faded into pink. Chocolate eyes gazed down with pure affection. The past had quietly slipped away to let the present shine bright, as was the right thing.

“You always know the wisest thing to say.”

“Ya think? ‘Cause Bim insists I’m a ‘feather-brained oaf’ after th’ time I cut all power ta th’ buildin’ when I tried ta connect my phone ta YouTube.”

Dark kept close to Wilford, listening to him ramble on about some scenario that belonged in a cartoon. In a romantic sense, his life in the 1920s was bleak. But that didn’t mean his life in the modern day had to be. If ever Dark was invited to an event, he always had Wilford as his ‘plus one’. Dark’s name was already tarnished by a shell of a man who stole his body. What more could he lose if people thought ill of him for loving a man? But even if only a handful of people knew of this relationship, they all supported him. Had he really been so worried that he never considered that?

Purple eyes lifted to meet chocolate ones. A smile was returned with just as much love. No matter what, he would have Wilford by his side.

This was his reality.

For the first time, he was content with it.

[chenria]

Character Interview

I was tagged by @highexarchs​, thank you!

I am doing this interview with Brianne. 

► Name ➔ “It used to be Brianne Evervale... now it’s just Brianne. The House of Evervale died.”

► Are you single ➔ She huffs and shrugs. “Sometimes I think I am when a certain someone buries himself in books and locks himself in his tower to look for some new mystery and tries to unravel it.”

► Are you happy ➔  "More or less. I mean... it could be worse.”

► Are you angry ➔ “No, not anymore.”

► Are your parents still married ➔  "My parents were still married when they died... it seems like several lifetimes ago now. But let’s not dwell on the past too much.”

NINE FACTS

► Birth Place ➔ “Good old Silvermoon City.”

► Hair Color ➔  “It seems white sometimes... but it’s a very light blond...”

► Eye Color ➔ Her expression turns to annoyance. She might be wondering if you are stupid for asking this question. “Green,” she replies with a clipped voice. 

► Birthday ➔ “We aren’t discussing my age here... I am old enough to know better than to tell people everything.”

► Mood ➔ *takes a deep breath* “Why me. Seriously... my mood can described with these two words. Most of the time I wonder why people can’t solve their own problems and if they can’t, why do they have to come to me?” 

► Gender ➔ “Female.”

► Summer or winter ➔ “Neither. Can I have spring, please?”

► Morning or afternoon ➔ “I love mornings, when the sun rises and the air still smells fresh. There is moist on the grass and everything is quiet. I like that.”

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

► Are you in love ➔ "Yes, I am,” she says and a fond smile lingers on her lips as her fingers close around a small pendant on her necklace.

► Do you believe in love at first sight ➔ “It might be a concept for some people. Alas, it seems to not be mine.”

► Who ended your last relationship ➔ She laughs bitterly and her eyes get a cold edge. “My last relationship ended when Kae’thas had to be stopped before he...” She shakes her head. “My brother always said it would end badly, I never thought he would be right...” 

► Have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔ Brianne looks up as if counting something in her head. “I’m not sure if it were five or six guys... that one guy might have been overreacting...” 

► Are you afraid of commitments ➔ She shrugs. “Not really. But it sometimes seems like commitment is afraid of me...” 

► Have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ "I hug Loki (note: her fox) several times a day... if you mean people... yes, actually. I hug Khadgar whenever he’s not locked himself up in his tower.” 

► Have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ A sad expression crosses her face before she collects herself again. “It was a lifetime ago... I was a different person back then in Silvermoon City.” 

► Have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ She says nothing for a long while. “I did... when I killed Kal’thas...” 

SIX CHOICES

► Love or lust ➔ “I’d take love over lust, honestly.”

► Lemonade or iced tea ➔ “I’d prefer hot tea...”

► Cats or Dogs ➔ Brianne looks at Loki and frowns. “I do feel like a fox has the best things of both cats and dogs. So I go with fox...” 

► A few best friends or many regular friends ➔ "In times like this it’s hard to trust and many regular friends might prove to be foes... so I go with very few best friends whom I know I can trust.” 

► Wild night out or romantic night in ➔ "I had my share of wild nights out which I can’t remember... these days I really much prefer romantic nights in.” 

► Day or night ➔ “It’s easier to see the threats coming at day...”

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

► Been caught sneaking out ➔ She laughs. “I am perfect at sneaking around. I never got caught so far.” 

► Fallen down/up the stairs ➔ Brianne takes a deep breath. “I fell of cliffs, mountain paths, roofs... but no, not stairs.” 

► Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ She lowers her gaze. “Yes...” 

► Wanted to disappear ➔ “I actually did... and it were actually quite peaceful years in Pandaria...” 

FOUR PREFERENCES

► Smile or eyes ➔ "Eyes... most definitely eyes. Though I prefer if the person with the pretty eyes does smile, too.” 

► Shorter or Taller ➔ “I do like my partners to be taller.” 

► Intelligence or Attraction ➔ She laughs. “Oh dear... if you grew up in Silvermoon City you quickly learn that attraction is not everything. With all the vain guys around you automatically start to look for the smart ones that don’t try just to see their own reflection in your eyes.” 

► Hook-up or Relationship ➔ “AI had my share of hook-ups in the past before I found this relationship...” 

FAMILY

► Do you and your family get along ➔  "Considering I haven’t spoken to my brother in years ... after our parents died... I wouldn’t quite call it getting along. No...” 

► Would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔ “These days I would say I rather got it under control...” 

► Have you ever ran away from home ➔ “Well... I kind of did, didn’t I?”

► Have you ever gotten kicked out ➔ “Not out of a home... do inns count?” 

FRIENDS

► Do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔ “I don’t surround myself with people I hate... if I hate them, they would know...” 

► Do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔ “As I said before, I only have friends I really trust... so they are good friends to me.” 

► Who is your best friend ➔ “That would be Khadgar actually. He’s the best friend and partner I could ask for actually...” 

► Who knows everything about you ➔ “That would be me and only me. Not even Khadgar knows everything about me and I wish it to stay that way. There are some things I don’t want people to know about me...” 

[bubblyani]

Bold moves, No assumptions (Tuck Hanson x Reader)

Tuck Hanson One Shot

Genre: Fluff

Author’s Note: Ever since I watched “This Means War” I was quite disappointed with the ending aka Tuck not being chosen. Didn't make sense cause clearly he was the better choice. Enraged with this and his forced ending with his ex, I wrote this for anyone who shares the same frustration.Tuck Hanson, you deserved better. And here is my tribute to you <3.

P.S: Didn’t Tom Hardy looked supa fine as Tuck?

You played safe in most situations in your life. And never dared to do something out of your comfort zone.  

But you always convinced yourself to be stronger and make some bold moves; you were just waiting for the right time to do so.

Working as a part of HR at the Agency might not be as exciting or glamorous, but you did enjoy it. You get to help people with internal matters and you took great pride in it. You’ve made friends with people within and outside of your department and some of them were simply a joy to know.

Agent Tuck Hanson was definitely the best one.

As time went by, you developed quite a soft spot for this charming gentleman of a Brit. He never failed to greet you at work and make your presence known. He would always try out your baked goods with much enthusiasm and you couldn’t help but respect his work ethic. His partner and best friend FDR, was nice too, but you could tell right away what kind of a guy he was. And you didn't really buy into that. Tuck might not be as smooth of a talker as FDR, but you appreciated his sincerity and romantic nature as a person.

When Tuck told you about this girl he found on this dating site, you were happy for him. But at the same time, you felt these feelings, which could only be described as “sour”. You kept ignoring this ‘sourness’ when it all went so well with Tuck and this girl “Lauren”.

But this became such a complicated screw up, when FDR accidentally ended up liking the SAME woman. At first, this immature fight over the same girl seemed so hilarious in your eyes. But when they started to use their power with background checks on her for interests and “sabotaging” each other’s attempts, you realized this was going WAY out of line.

“I don’t know guys, this seems a bit too much, and someone’s gonna get huuurt” you voiced your opinion with a tone of concern and a disapproving look.

And you could tell that Tuck always got embarrassed, as if he realized the insanity of their actions. But he quickly changed heart considering the competitive nature between the two friends.

You even remembered the day when the Heinrich assignment was completed. That was when Lauren finally made the choice. You found Tuck talking to Lauren when the medics arrived, and you remembered how he tried so hard to not let the rejection get to him. Even though you stood far away, you heart felt heavy and you felt bad in his place. You even questioned yourself as to why would you be THIS emotional for someone else’s loss.

That’s when you fully knew, how much you cared for Tuck Hanson.

All of this, flashed through your mind as you indulged on some nachos, looking out to the tables ahead, watching FDR and Lauren cozy up together, laughing, kissing and enjoying each other’s company at the Annual State Fair on a Thursday night.

Since the Lauren incident, Tuck enjoyed your company more often and you didn't mind it all. And when Tuck said he would be going to the fair with a date, you were more than happy to be there to rescue him if anything went sideways.

You just didn't really expect to see THEM there, at the same place, in the same time, together, rubbing it all in Tuck’s face, if he ever did see them.

Suddenly you felt frustrated and angry, but you were also bold. A part of you was surprised when you got up from your seat to walk over to the ‘happy couple’.

 “Lauren? Lauren Scott?”

“Oh hey (Y/N)! Didn't expect to see YOU here.” FDR got up happily to show off his new girlfriend. “Lauren...this is (Y/N), she works in HR at the uh…Agency”

“OMG…Hey! Nice to meet you (Y/N)!”

You and Lauren shook hands. You couldn't help but be awed by Lauren, with her golden hair and beautiful smile; she definitely exuded rays of sunshine.

No wonder Tuck fell for her, you thought.

“Yeah, you too. Um…sorry to barge in like this, but uh…I just…I just-” you took a deep breath. “I’m really happy for you guys, really. But I just gotta ask, woman to woman.  You really picked FDR over Tuck? REALLY? REALLY?” your voice grew louder by the word. And you swore your expression might have changed into something not so pleasant.

Oh no…here I go.

“REALLY? I mean…WHY?” you continued.

“Uh…(Y/N) I’m sitting right here-“ FDR interrupted.

“FDR PLEASE! Just PLEASE!” you motioned him to shut up.

“I get it, FDR is a softie underneath all that smooth, ladies man bullshit. But what about the good guys? What about people like Tuck? He is the perfect gentleman. And from what happened between you guys, all seemed to go so well right? Sorry for sounding so nosy, I know this seems over line. But seriously Lauren, I just don't understand. Yes, FDR is a lovely person and he has had a rough time growing up so yes he needs the right girl. But so does Tuck! You met HIM first, you liked HIM first. And In the end you decided to go with THIS GUY? SERIOUSLY? I just...I don't get it. There was barely anything wrong with that man, he was really in love with you, you know. You really made a HUGE MISTAKE!”

Lauren looked like she just got slapped. And FDR was pissed off big time, but trying to repress his anger. He quickly got up rushing towards you.

“Lauren I’m SO sorry, (Y/N) can be a LITTLE crazy sometimes” FDR began,

“(Y/N) maybe you should go home”

“I’m FINE! Don’t worry I’m leaving I’m leaving!” you shook his hand away from you.

“By the way, It was nice to meet you Lauren” your expression changed, you couldn't help but smile sincerely at Lauren. Cause in truth, Lauren seemed like a great gal.

“You look really pretty” you turned to walk away. For a second, you felt this huge burden leave your shoulders. 

“(Y/N)!”

You turned to find Tuck running up to you “Where are you off to luv?” 

“I’m going home, I’m not feeling so good” you replied with a tight smile.

He eyed you sternly, “Are you okay? Did something happen?”

“Trust me, I’m fine. Sorry Tuck” your voice grew softer, patting him on the shoulder.

FDR approached Tuck, who watched you walk away with a confused expression.

“Is (Y/N) okay?” Tuck asked his friend. “Well she certainly didn't seem right in head to me” FDR replied angrily, shaking his head.

“I really don't follow” Tuck got even more confused.

“Tuck, you’re not gonna BELIEVE what just happened”

----------

As much as you didn't want to face FDR the next day at work, you also wanted to apologize for being a jerk in front of Lauren. You came to work early as usual. As you were heading to get a pot of coffee, you stopped by Tuck’s table to check up on him.

“Good Morning Mr.Hanson…or should I say Handsome?? Hah!” you greeted him teasingly. He smiled warmly while typing some emails. “ ‘Morning Luv! You feeling better today?” he closed his laptop to look at you.

“Oh it was just a headache, a good night’s rest did the trick” you gave him thumbs up, automatically looking over to FDR’s table “What happened to FDR?”

“Oh he took the day off today so wont be coming in” Tuck replied, turning side to side on his chair.

“I see…Oh! Dude…how did the date go last night?”

Tuck opened his mouth but stopped himself to think of a better reply. Chuckling, he went “Oh…you know, didn't work out that well” he shrugged his shoulders. You didn't believe him. “What? That's insane…I saw the lucky lady and she looked hawt!” you folded your hands leaning on FDR’s table. “Yeah I guess, but we didn't really click that well in the end” he replied nonchalantly. You still didn't believe him.

“Well, I’m sorry to hear that Tuck. Maybe it didn't work out for a reason. So, have hope!” you cheered him and while walking away to get that coffee.

“I will ” Tuck whispered, watching you leave, and hoping you were right.

--------

Few days later, you heard some colleagues talking about this dangerous mission Tuck was assigned to, and how he will be going out to the field. You rushed to look for Tuck, finding him leaving his table to get ready.

“Please…please be careful, and promise me you’ll be okay” you felt so corny, saying all these things to him. Tuck, touched by your worried reaction, reached out to hold your hand.

“Don't worry luv! I’ll be fine, I promise” he sounded sure. You nodded in acknowledgment, trying not to be distracted by the warmth of his touch.

------

Hours later, Tuck returned to the Agency after a successful mission, but also with a few bruises. He insisted he didn't need a cleanup. But with your persuasion, a medic came by to fix him up. When the medic left, you came in to the room and sat on a chair next to the door, facing a sitting Mr. Hanson on a chair next to the bed, looking exhausted.

“ You really didn't have to call on medic for this, luv” Tuck pointed at the several cuts and scars on his face which didn't seem so severe.

“Doesn't matter the severity, you needed cleaning up.” You crossed your legs “I heard you did a great job today, I’m REALLY proud of you, you know” you meant every word you said, smiling.

Tuck smiled back, but quickly looked down. Pursing his lips, he looked up and spoke shyly,

“FDR told me what happened at the fair.”

You felt the whole world crashing down on you as if the worse nightmare has happened. You wanted to get away from this room.

“I’m so sorry about th-“ you quickly got up

“No please! Don’t go “ Tuck said hurriedly, motioning you to stay. “Please stay” his voice got softer. You slowly sat down, afraid of what might come out of his mouth next.

“To be honest, it felt quite nice to hear that someone was speaking on behalf of me...”he continued, his blue eyes on you, begging for you to look back at him.

“But I just got to ask...why? Why would you do that (Y/N)?”

You summed the courage to look up at him, praying you won’t get your heart broken by rejection.

“You know, I’m not the one to pick a fight Tuck, I really am not” you began,

“…But that day, when I saw them together, I just couldn’t take it. Why must FDR only deserved to be happy and not you? Why must that happen when you did nothing but be a great guy. The spying thing was CRAZY, I WILL say that. But even from the beginning, Even WITHOUT the spying, you were doing SO well and you STILL didn’t get the girl. And it JUST PISSED ME OFF” the more you spoke the braver you sounded. You sat on the edge of your seat.

“And it pissed me off a hell lot cause I...I...” with eyes closed, you took a deep breath, clenching your fists.

“I have liked you for a really long time Tuck”

You maintained eye contact as you finished. 

There it was, bold move number two.

You couldn’t read Tuck’s expression, but it did look as if he wasn’t expecting that. 

“(Y/N)!-“ he let out a chuckle. “What?” You were dying of curiosity. He moved around in his seat as if to calm oneself. Was he nervous?

“You might have not known this, but when I first met you in the Agency, I thought you were quite lovely” 

Your heart skipped a beat.

“Actually, I thought you were very beautiful, and seeing you around always cheered me up” you blinked fast; you didn’t know how to react.

Am I dreaming? 

“I even went so far to assume you already had a boyfriend-“

“You what?” That escaped your lips faster than you could think. Loudly too. 

Tuck smiled, he found your reaction adorable. “ Come on (Y/N)! Was I wrong to assume that? Why would someone like you want someone like me?” 

“You CAN’T say that! That’s my line ” you protested, to which Tuck burst out laughing. You couldn’t help but chuckle. You adored the way Tuck laughed. You loved seeing him happy.

Fuck! I really like him. 

“Anyways, after a while the Lauren thing happened, and then with Katie again and, nothing seemed to fit right with me” his tone changed, and it was sad.

You just had enough of this. You just couldn’t take it. 

Standing up, you slowly walked over to him, not breaking eye contact. Tuck looked surprised as you suddenly sat on his lap. You longed for courage as your hands found his face, fingers touching his skin so softly. 

Savor this moment.

Slowly moving forward, you kissed him. 

Savor. 

You kissed him like it was your first and last time. 

This. 

You kissed him, trying to pour all your feelings into one kiss cause you were afraid this will be your only chance.

Moment. 

5 seconds, it lasted 5 seconds.

You removed your lips from his, giving him a soft smile, stroking his cheek with your thumbs looking at his fazed expression. You sighed deeply. You got up.

Frankly you really didn’t want to let this one go.

To your surprise, neither did Tuck. 

He grabbed your hand, his grip hard as steel, so strong you fell back to his lap. You looked at him with shock. 

“Tuck, what are y-“ 

“No more assuming,” he breathed, pulling you to a kiss.

Kissing Tuck was lovely. Tuck kissing you was magical. But when this was fused together, it was just fireworks. It certainly didn't seem so unfamiliar; at least not by the way Tuck was touching you. He held you up so you could straddle him. Lips were in a conversation of its own.

Where the fuck have you been?  

You felt butterflies in your stomach as you felt his hands run up and down your back, finally settling down to your waist, pulling you even closer to him. The kisses turned deeper and more passionate. The distance between the two of you got smaller, to the point of the bodies grinding against one another.

Tuck broke off the kiss reluctantly, and you suddenly returned to earth.

“(Y/N)…uh...I…” he panted, gently holding your cheek “ as much as I would like to continue THIS, I really want to do this RIGHT, you know, take you out on a date first” he spoke earnestly, looking in to your eyes.

You giggled, “Hehehe…yeah true. I’d like that too…” You felt so ecstatic you hugged him super tightly,

“Finally, I have you ALL to myself” you whispered excitedly to his ear.

“You can’t say THAT!  That’s MY line” Tuck responded teasingly, hugging you back.

Tuck WAS the better guy, and he made YOU the better girl.

With the help of a few bold moves you will never regret.

Check out my MASTERLIST for more

[bleachedjam]

Rambling on sexuality. Apparently you can't do a cut on mobile? Sorry then. Pretend there is one here and scroll past this.

I've always tried to find a label that fit me. I had never felt liked I liked anyone in the traditional sense. Girls and boys were on an even playing field for me. No one set me a flutter. There was no lust at first sight. But the way my peers discussed it made me feel...odd. Displaced? Like I was missing a joke everyone else got. So I faked it.

In elementary school, 5th grade, all the other girls picked a celebrity boy they had a crush on. I remember being confused how they decided. So I picked Aaron Carter, I think because I liked his song, "I want Candy". I mimicked what they said about their crushes, "he's so hot!" Another girl also liked Aaron Carter, but as I was a bit of an outcast we never discussed it. (His picture was on her binder.)

In middle school I tried to take up drawing. I had a sketch book I filled with drawings of both men and women. I gave the women large breasts and revealing shirts. My mother looked through my sketch book, and one night I heard her telling her friend, "all the breasts are so large, what if shes a lesbian?". And I considered it. What if I was? I had no idea. I felt the same way about men and women still. My friends were branching out and dating and talking about crushes on boys in school. I picked a boy I was friends with and pretended to like him. I even faked a journal entry and left it out so a friend would see.

In Jr. High I briefly dated a boy who was friends with a boy my friend was dating. He was crass and kind of a jerk. Someone asked me why I was dating him, because he, "looked and dressed weird". I tried to figure out which features were desirable, but all the guys my friends liked were so varied.

High school hit me hard. Something was wrong with me I was sure. I decided to just date whoever liked me. Less choices on my part. In October we held a Octoberfest carnival thing. My anime club, yes I was in anime club, had a booth were we sold churros. I met a guy a year older than me who ended up liking me. So I "liked" him. We dated until February. He rarely showered and never brushed his teeth. I always felt gross when we hung out. In February a friend admitted to liking me. I broke up with the other guy for obvious reasons and accepted when the new one asked me out.

Things seemed fine at the start but this guy would go on to mentally and verbally abuse me for 5 more years and torment me for a year after that. I confided in him how I never liked anyone and never had crushes the same way others did. This was the first of many things he would use against me. He convinced me to have sex with him, because once I did I'd like him and be attracted to him. And when that didn't work, well I'd already done it, so I had to keep doing it. Then when I doubted things and didn't like being with him, he'd play on my various insecurities. "You'll never really like someone, it will always be fake. Might as well stay with me." "No one will like you if you can't feel the same way back, your lucky to have me." "I'm the only guy you can ever get." And beyond that to, "No one else would want a depressed sack of fat like you. I'm doing you a favor." "There's so much wrong with you, how can you ever expect to do better?" "Your so ugly and fat I can't believe I stoop to your level." And worse and worse yet. It was a slow descent over almost 2 years, but when he had me where he wanted me, he started to cheat on me. I couldn't leave, I wanted to die. The years with him were the worst of my life. And I trace it all back to not understanding how to tell if I wanted to be with someone.

We graduated and he moved into my house. The abuse only got worse. I developed fibromyalgia and other chronic illness, believed to be from "trauma". His abuse escalated after that. I couldn't escape him. And why would I want to? No one would ever take a broken piece of shit like me. He was doing me a favor.

He ended up leaving me. I never had the strength to leave him. He left me for, in his words, "a healthy girl with no problems". For the next year or so he'd get drunk and contact me. Eventually I stopped all communication. I ended up getting a tattoo he had forbade me from getting. It was freeing.

I tried the online dating scene for awhile. I desperately didn't want to be alone. But I couldn't connect with anyone. People would send me messages and I'd see pictures but I never met up with anyone. No one ever stood out. I didn't know what or how to pick someone.

My sister had a friend from Canada she played games with online. I played with them a few times and he invited his work friend to play to. I won't say we hit it off. My sister and her friend logged off and then me and the other guy were left alone. We talked, he seemed nice. After a few months the two of them got invited down to our house for a gaming convention in the area. The friend and I had grown close and he decided he liked me. I knew this time, I did not like him.

But as it goes, that didn't matter. He came down, stayed at our house and asked me out. I said no. He pushed and guilt tripped me until I said yes. He stayed a week. Everything was a guilt trip. He bought me something so I owed him. He came all this way, so I owed him. I said yes, so I owed him. When he went back home I broke up with him. He staged and gave me a play by play of a suicide attempt. His tactics relied on guilt. I wasn't used to that, so it was hard for me to let go. I didn't want to hurt anyone. Eventually I finally got away from him.

During that time my other sister asked if she could invite a guy she worked with to play league of legends with us, as he was very good and we wanted to win an event or achievement or something. He played with us and we did it.

Him and I talked. I told him about the guy from Canada. The suicide attempt. Most recently he had gotten the bill from the ambulance I sent to his house and said I needed to pay it since it was my fault. I refused and tried to quit talking to him. The new guy and I got close. He was someone I would call my best friend. When the Canada guy started more drama, he asked if we could hang out in real life, because up until then we had only talked online.

We did. I went to his house. We got teriyaki and played Mario cart. Something about this guy was different. He was a best friend but something else. Like our hearts were talking. We connected on a different level, something I had never felt with another person before. On the way home I made a stupid joke about not believing he never had a girlfriend. He asked if I wanted to be his. I said yes.

I gave him a hug goodbye. I kissed him on the cheek. He tried to kiss me on the cheek too but I moved and he missed and we had our first kiss. Everything was right in ways I never felt before.

Today we're set to be married, living together and have an amazing daughter. I couldn't imagine life with anyone else. I can confidently say, he is the first person I've actually liked. Romantically for sure. Sexually? I still don't know how that works.

I throughly enjoy sex with him. I desire the intimacy and connection and obviously it feels good. But honestly, what the hell is sexually attraction? Because I enjoy it does that mean I'm attracted? I don't know. I've never looked at anyone and gotten any...sexual feelings from looking at them.

I enjoy drawn porn and porn comics from an aesthetic point. The art is beautiful. The human body is wonderful. But it doesn't do anything for me. I like the art, the shapes, the aesthetic of porn. But it doesn't make me feel anything or make me want to do anything.

To masturbate or have sex I have to focus on the sensations alone, or how my partner feels. I've never found porn that works for me. I don't get horny from visuals at all. Half the time I forget he does. I'll be changing and he makes a move and I'll just be confused as to what got him in the mood. I feel a disconnect between it all.

There was a while where I called myself asexual. Seemed close. But the more I tried to fit in with the community the more I felt odd. Not outcast, because the asexual community is amazing, but more like I was fitting an oval peg into a circle hole. Close, but not quite.

When I consider it, men and women are almost equal to me. I think I may be more drawn to women at least visually. If I hadn't met my fiance I would have loved to date a woman. I enjoy the female form more from a aesthetic stand point.

So lately I've been wondering if maybe I was pansexual. A friend of mine is pan and she posted a quote about being attracted to the person, not the body. It felt more right and more like me than anything I had seen from the asexual community. But at the same time, my sample size of people I've liked it only at one. So I have no idea.

I also wonder, does it matter? I'm going to be with the person I am with forever now. I don't need to find anyone else, so it doesn't matter which gender preference I have or don't have.

I guess with Pride month I've been thinking about it a lot. There is a lot of talk of, "fly your flag high and have pride!" But what if you don't have a flag?

I feel queer. That's about as far as I've gotten. I don't know if I'll ever find something past that or not. Right now queer feels fine, just unsure. I guess I'm somewhere between sexuality is fluid and still figuring myself out. Who even knows what attraction is.

So happy Pride month everyone.

[stylo-xx]

Eyes Closed (M)

G-Dragon: Angst/Small amount of fluff/Smut

PART 10:  A Repeated Seesaw Game...

A/N: I’ve been in my own feelings lately...

completely rewrote the rewrite, it was way too sad...

P.S: songs for your listening pleasure: (Suga)

(Part One)||(Part Two-A)||(Part Two-B)||(Part Three)||(Part Four)||(Part Five-A)||(Part Five-B)||(Part Five-C)||(Part Six)(Part Seven)||(Part Eight)||(Part Nine-A)

                           A boring seesaw game, someone has to get off this seesaw

                                                                 though, I can’t...

In life, oftentimes there are constants that exist that we’d wish were only temporary, but unfortunately for us wishing things into existence isn’t practical; and frankly only leaves things to be desired. If only things were as easy as they make it out to be in fairytales; or at least on Gossip Girl.

Life also has its ups and downs much like the childhood game of seesaw; as someone and their partner teeter and totter back and forth it's like an unspoken constant battle for balance; for unity. At first  you run head first toward your end and sometimes you wait for your partner to catch up, other times you begin before they even have time to get their leg over to either side and just hope they catch up. Picking up the pace while laughing and  joking and  playing ‘the sand is lava’ and kicking up your feet to try and keep your feet from hitting the ground or worse your bum. But sometimes someone leaves unexpectedly and you suddenly drop hard on your end feeling alone and hurt; both physically and emotionally. You’re left there with noone to balance you out anymore and to bounce you back up when you’ve gone down into the sand. All you can do contemplate getting off the seesaw, but what if you just can’t bring yourself to? Do you just wait for someone else to arrive? Or do you wait on that same person to comeback, just at the possibility that they could drop you again unexpectedly of their own volition? Then you answer to yourself the latter and you start to question whether or not you’re an emotional masochist. But I digress...

Love, is a hell of an addiction and one that is hard to kick, sure one could say their ‘I wish I could quit you!’s and their ‘you ain’t shit’s and my personal favorite ‘I wish I never met you’, but truly once that person had made their indent in your heart whether it be good or bad could you truly forget them? Could you truly rid yourself of all these feelings you had for a singular person in an instance? Sure, in the heat of the moment you may scream infidelities into the sky and spit utter disdain and all the vitriol you can muster about this someone who has broken your trust, and most importantly you heart, but why scream these things and hide the fact that we are hurt? Why pretend like in that moment the one person you loved and cherish more than anyone, hadn’t just severely hurt you?

Your friends may come to your rescue and reassure you that they weren’t worth it and that they weren’t good enough for you and you think to yourself ‘if you thought that about them, then why the hell didn’t you tell me this before I wasted two years of my life with that asshole?!’. And other times despite all the hatred spilled from both your mouth and your friends’, there is sometimes a vile part of you that still festers away at a dark crevice in your brain that tells you that you still want them, that in a momentary lapse of judgment you would take them back in a heartbeat. A part of you that’s still waiting on that seesaw…

“You’re insane”

“Sure yeah, but who said yes and got in the car?” he smirked as he closed the car door behind him.

She stayed silent, biting her lip as the sound of her heart racing filled her ears.

“Seatbelt” he signaled tapping the top of her thigh with two fingers then rested his hand on her thigh when she buckled herself in.

From the outside the venue to the award show was dead, as opposed to when they arrived as it was lined with people as far as the eye could see, she’d be lying if she had said that she wasn’t worried about leaving the venue in the first place risking not only getting spotted by some paparazzi or even worse some fan site ‘photographer’; he’d be lying if he said that he shared that same fear. He was more preoccupied thinking about what comes next between them.

“Ji-Yong…”

“Yeah?” he turned the car wheel with his empty hand.

“I-I umm…”

“shit was this the turn off for the airport…? He muttered to himself leaning forward.

“What if when we get there--to Vegas I mean and we end up--I don’t know...are you freaking out because I’m freaking out?”

He nodded his head absentmindedly, eyes flickering back and forth between the laggy car GPS and the exit signs on the freeway.

“Oh really? Thank god!” she exhaled “because you just seem so calm about it all and everything is just going so fast I just I don’t--oh Jesus H. Christ I haven’t even told Jun-Meyon and you and I--we just left! Oh god, Ji-Yong what are we gonna do? I’m technically still in a relationship and you--you still have a whole ass other award to recieve! Maybe we should go back” she turned to face him.

“Yeah maybe…” he hummed.

“You agree? Oh thank god! I thought--”

“Is it just me or is this stupid GPS like two exits behind where we actually are?” he squinted his eyes “oh sorry, were you saying something?”

“Ji-Yong!” her mouth dropped “nope, no this was a mistake, go back!”

“What? Why? What the hell happened? Baby I thought we were--”

“Ji-Yong what are we fucking crazy?! We can’t do this, I’m in a relationship and you--you’re--fuck we can’t do this!”

He inhaled deeply and quickly pulled off the road onto the off hand shoulder and turned on his hazard lights.

“Alex--” he turned to face her.

“I really think we’re really in over our heads here Ji-Yong! We’re so stupid, why did we think this was a good idea? Why did we think we could do this?”

“Hey, hey listen to me, we’ve been wanting to do this--I’ve been wanting to do nothing but start this over with you; I’ve wanted nothing but to do this with you, I want a family with you, I want you” he cupped her face with his hands “just breathe for a minute everything will be okay, okay? I love you, I know I’ve said a lot of things I didn’t mean but that’s not one of them. And I know I’ve done a lot of things that I regret but loving you isn’t one of those things”

She looked into his eyes and all that came through was the sincerity behind his words. She nodded her head and gave him a small smile before leaning into his hands.

“I love you too...”

“I want to forget all the shit that happened between us, and I want to start over--”

“I know you’re trying to be romantic but we are in the middle of god knows in Hong Kong, in a rental car pulled over on the side of the freeway” she lightly chuckled.

He giggled back and pecked her nose prompting a smile back from her earning a full gummy smile back from him.

He paused for a moment “I do mean it though, I know to some people it might seem insane that I’ve held onto you for as long as I have but I would rather spend the rest of my life insane with you than to never have to deal with your pain in the ass ever again”

“Gee thanks” She chuckled as she playfully shoved his shoulder “I do”

“Oh are we preparing our vows now?” he smirked tucking a piece of hair behind her ear..

“What you have better material?”

“Fine, I vow to you my future wife” he smiled “to love you, and make love to you--” he laughed making her poke his side.

“I vow to be with you through sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, until you tell me no. and even then I’ll still love you until you hate me….again”

“And to you, my lover and my best friend, I vow to be with you until my very last breath. I vow to, find a way to make you fall in love with me every morning when I wake up and by the time we go to bed I vow to bed the only you’ll ever need to dream of”

He tilted his head  and smiled “you trying to one up me?”

“What? No?” she laughed.

“Too serious, give me one you’d wouldn’t say in front of God and Elvis”

“Who said we’re getting married before Elvis?” she giggled.

“Vegas wedding why not?” he smiled.

“Okay, okay fine!” she cleared her throat “I vow to give you road head when you ask for it--”

He groaned “you don’t even need to say anymore, I do baby I really do” He smiled cupping her face with his hands and capturing her lips with his.

Running his fingers through her hair he deepened the kiss as he  gently parted her lips with his tongue the moment she gave him any room to budge. He pulled away from the kiss and moved her hair back away from her neck and peppered kisses down along her jawline and onto her neck. Pulling away again, he looked her in the eye and smiled before placing a chaste kiss on her lips again before placing his hands back on the wheel and turning to face her one last time.

“So, are you ready?” he smiled.

[corvidamned]

Tagged by: stole it from @overlourdes Tagging: whoever’s willing!

Are you single? “In a relationship. And, things are getting rather serious--sharing a place together, collaborating on work. Maybe I’m used to fast paced lifestyle. Maybe I just want to do as much as possible just in case...” She gets quiet. “Just in case.” Are you happy? “I’m allowing myself to be.” Are you angry? “More often than I show it.” Are your parents still married? “Two-hundred years, and he never loved anyone else even after she died. Haven told me, he wanted to follow her into the next life.” ▉NINE FACTS – Birth Place? “A small castle tower near a tiny fishing village in Yorkshire.” Hair Color? “Brown.” Eye Color? “Brown.” Red. Birthday? “October 27th, 1982“ Mood? “Too deep in power plays. Need a decent hunt. One with a hell of a chase.” Gender? “Woman, if that matters.” Summer or winter? “Autumn is best, but of the two, Winter spent with someone special.” Morning or afternoon? “All the best people come out at night.” ▉EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE ? – Are you in love? “Yes.” And getting into a lot of trouble for it. Who ended your last relationship? ”Haven made that decision himself when he endangered my family with his reckless warmongering.” There goes another glass, crushed in her grip. She let the pieces fall out of her hand, and began picking out the smaller ones lodged in the skin of her palm. “But, I suppose I was the one to put a stop to things before it consumed everything.” Have you ever broken someone’s heart? “My sister’s when I chose not to remain human, and I suppose again when I ‘left’ my world.” Many others too, though she tries not to think about it. Are you afraid of commitments? “Not at all.” Quite the opposite, really. “I’m afraid, someone who’d let me become deeply devoted to them, would in time, feel nothing at all.” Have you hugged someone within the last week? “Last week, no. Last month?” Maybe. Have you ever had a secret admirer? “Can’t say for sure. I usually do the pursuing.” And pining. Have you ever broken your own heart? “I...try to bury things, channel emotions into art or work.” ▉SIX CHOICES – Love or lust? “Love. Never only desire, just a unrelenting need to give.” Lemonade or iced tea? “Ice tea if not hot tea. Lots of sugar.” Cats or Dogs? “Dogs. Though cats like me better.” A few best friends or many regular friends? “I say only a few, for only a few know me and a fraction of what my life is like. But, I wouldn’t be able to do what I do if my influence and generosity did not have a broad reach.” A wild night out or romantic night in? “My partner and I both like a controlled environment, free from interruptions--” Or judgement. “Free to put on a show and experiment, or just become entangled in each other’s arms and drift in and out of consciousness.” Day or night? “Nighttime. Though the early morning does have its charms.” ▉FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS – Been caught sneaking out? “Played hooky. Sneaking out became the norm with my condition, as long as I agreed to be home right after and not kill anybody. There wasn’t much room for a social life until...” She had to think. “I became a mercenary and met Oswald.” Fallen down/up the stairs? The lady squints. Don’t make fun of her. "You try having a sense of balance on four pints of blood.” Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? “I want...my life. I want to learn how to make this last. I want to belong and build my family.” Wanted to disappear? “That doesn’t help anybody.” ▉FOUR PREFERENCES – Smile or eyes? “I do admire the crows feet of a kind individual, or the folds that show how someone’s weariness sets in. A smile can be a beautiful thing and I do love dimples, but a smile can be practiced, while the eyes reveal the soul.” Shorter or Taller? “Tall individuals, though shorter people have much more fight.” Intelligence or Attraction? “Intelligence. Attraction can’t go far without a certain level of ambition, diligence, and emotional maturity. And, more well-read individuals are more likely to have at least two out of three of those traits.” Hook-up or Relationship? “I must admit, I’m a bit guarded and can’t deal with letting someone in mean nothing. I would choose to pursue someone, even see a whole life with them, if I would go as far as to sleep with them.” ▉FAMILY – Do you and your family get along? The last time they were all together, “We were quite the team.” Would you say you have a “messed up life”?  “I think any conversation I have about my life leaves the other person shocked, upset, pitying. So, I either don’t talk about it, or don’t let people try to help me. Not that there’s much anyone can do.” Have you ever ran away from home? “Doing that implies someone would wonder where you are and come look for you. I’ve done worse things for attention as a kid.” Have you ever gotten kicked out? “No, not with school or home. Accidentally locked out, maybe.” ▉FRIENDS – Do you secretly hate one of your friends? “No. If I hated someone, they’d know.” Do you consider all of your friends to be good friends? “My friends have complicated and sometimes conflicting agendas that compete for territory, titles, and distinct motifs. But, I think two or three of us can sit down without killing each other. Who is your best friend? “Alexander Scarlet.” @scarletexlibris Who knows everything about you? "There’s my vigilante life, my criminal work, my love life, my other friends, my health, my vampirism, my curse, and my family. That’s Alexander.”

[altherei]

Interview with the Director

((Did this before, but nothing wrong with an update!))

Name ➔ “Altherei Darkwind.”

Are you single?➔ Her cheeks flush lightly, and slowly a smile creeps onto her face. “.. I’m not actually, no.”

Are you angry?➔ “No- at least, not actively. I remain upset at the state of the world, and the constant battling of the factions, but that’s as close as I come.”

Are your parents still married?➔ “Were my mother still alive, I’m sure they would be.”

NINE FACTS

Birth Place ➔ “Silvermoon City.”

Hair Color ➔ “Dark brown- I’ve heard it called ‘earthy’ usually.”

Eye color ➔ “Teal-green.”

Birthday ➔ “December 28th, many years ago.” She grins, “It’s not proper to ask a lady her age, so that’s the closest you’ll get.”

Mood ➔ “Right now? .. I’m happy. And a little bit stressed, and a little bit worried. But the balance favors happiness, at the moment.”

Gender ➔ “Female.”

Summer or Winter ➔ “I’ve always loved the winter more- the cold makes for a good excuse to stay inside with a thick blanket or sweater and a mug of tea. But I also just enjoy watching the snow fall, and the nights during winter seem a little bit clearer than any other time.”

Morning or Afternoon ➔ “Between those two- morning. I’m an early riser. I always find working easier in the morning when it’s quiet, and then the afternoons and evenings are free for whatever else needs doing.”

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

Are you in love? ➔ “It’s far too soon to call it love, so no.” She clicked her tongue once, “But as it always does, time will tell. Love is something that needs to grow- it doesn’t simply just spring into being.”

Do you believe in love at first sight? ➔ “No- infatuation, certainly. But love is a commitment and a choice as much as it is a feeling- like I said.. it needs to grow.”

Who ended your last relationship? ➔ “The last true relationship I had? I did. But what really has come between all of them has been .. a complete lack of proper communication, and being- ah, what’s the phrase- ‘ghosted’ on.”

Have you ever broken someone’s heart? ➔ “Yes, and my own as well.”

Are you afraid of commitments? ➔ “Hardly- I crave commitment. To have something deep and meaningful and profound, yet reliable and stable. For myself, I’d consider it..  maybe my greatest wish.”

Have you hugged someone within the past week? ➔ “I have, yes.”

Have you ever had a secret admirer? ➔  “If I have, they certainly kept up the ‘secret’ part quite well.”

Have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ “Ah- I answered this earlier, but yes. Oftentimes I think I am far crueler to my own heart than I’ve ever been with anyone else’s. In and outside of relationships, dating, courtships- whatever you want to call them- I am often my own worst critic, and my own harshest judge.”

SIX CHOICES

Love or Lust ➔ “Love, by a mile.”

Lemonade or iced tea  ➔ “I’d prefer hot tea to either of these, I think. But as I’m not overly-fond of tart or sour things, iced tea I suppose.”

Cats or Dogs? ➔ “I don’t really have a preference between the two- pets aren’t something I really have time for.”

A few best friends or many regular friends? ➔ “I’d prefer the counsel and company of a few best friends, certainly.”

Wild night out or romantic night in ➔ “I think it would largely depend on what ‘wild’ is entailing- but as I have my suspicions, I’ll say ‘night in’. As long as I’m spending quality time with the person I care about, where we are is of little consequence to me.”

Day or Night ➔ “As I’m an astronomer, I’ll give you one guess...” She winks, grinning cheekily.

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

Been caught sneaking out  ➔  “No, but as a child my father got caught sneaking me out to peek through his telescope, so I suppose that can count.”

Fallen down/upstairs ➔ “I’ve tripped down the stairs, but I’ve never tumbled. Thankfully.”

Wanting something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ “.. Yes, actually.”

Wanted to disappear  ➔ “On occasion.”

FOUR PREFERENCES

Smile or eyes ➔ “Both, I think.”

Shorter or taller ➔ “Taller.”

Intelligence or attraction ➔ “Intelligence is far more important to me- as is someone’s general personality. Having the face of a model won’t cover up a poor attitude and rude habits. That being said, I also value attraction- it’s an important part of a relationship, but between the two, intelligence is more important.”

Hook-up or relationship ➔ “Relationship. I have not, nor will ever be, the type of woman interested in a hook-up or one-night stand. Like I said, I crave commitment.”

Do you and your family get along? ➔ “It’s been a little strained lately, mostly as the family I have left is.. quite worried for all my work with the Outreach- worried about what might happen to me if the wrong people were to get it in their heads to ‘do something’ about it. But that aside, yes. We do get along, and quite well.”

FAMILY

Do you consider all of your friends good friends? ➔ “Not all of them, but only because I do not know them all as well as I would like. The more time we spend together and get to know each other, the more likely I would be to call them a ‘good’ friend.”

Would you say you have a “messed up life”? ➔ “Not by a wide margin. I’ve seen my fair share of tragedy, but I always try to remind myself that things could be so much worse.”

Who is your best friend? ➔ “Of the women I know, I would call Murigen my best friend. But there is also Kalomar, who.. while he is my partner, yes, before that he was- and still is- quite easily my closest friend.”

Who knows everything about you ➔ “I don’t think there’s yet one person who knows everything about me. There are some parts of my life that I keep tucked away, not just because they’re.. not terribly relevant to most conversations, but because they are not things I would share with someone unless I held a great deal of trust in them. I would say the people closest to knowing everything about me are my brothers.”

Tagged by: @allseeker-wra (Sorry this took so long!)

Tagging: @murigxn, @seilune, @selowyn, @crusaderenrik, @k-sunrael (for whichever character you like!), @amorthonblackwood, and anyone else who would like to do this! Y’all know I’m bad at remembering handles of folks so if you would like to, consider yourself tagged!

[trainsinanime]

Bumblebee and Blacksun

Easily the most divisive topic in the RWBY fandom that does not feature gender-flipped versions of french saints, but I also think there’s a lot of interesting stuff to talk about here. So let’s dive into the relationships between Blake and Yang and Blake and Sun.

First off, my core thesis here is that this needn’t and shouldn’t be an either/or thing. Both relationships are valid and important. The problem is that fandoms generally evaluate relationships primarily as romantic ones, and see deep friendships as something lesser, or perhaps even threatening. That doesn’t match reality, and it certainly doesn’t match the ethos shown by several shows, including RWBY.

In fact, you could make an argument that statistically speaking, RWBY is almost anti-romance. There’s exactly one romantic relationship we’ve seen where both parties staid happy together with neither one meeting an untimely end; this is Blake’s parents. All other members of her team have parents who aren’t together anymore, and among the teenagers, the only romance took the „your very first kiss was your first kiss goodbye“ thing from Bon Jovi’s „You Give Love a Bad Name“ literally. As well as the „shot through the heart“ part. Dumb Pyrrha jokes aside, it’s clear that almost all the really important relationships in the show are deep friendships and (found) family, not romance.

That said, I wouldn’t mind either Bumblebee or Blacksun turning romantic either (do I hear someone shouting OT3? Okay, sure, why not). But I would mind if that meant the other relationship got broken up or, even worse, just stop existing on screen.

Of course, not everyone may agree, because if you look at Sun and Yang, there are a lot more similarities than differences. Both are outgoing fun-loving characters. Both have a yellow theme colour. Both show above average amounts of skin. Both have Chinese names that mean „sun“ either when you translate them (Yang) or when you explicitly don’t (er, Sun). And both fulfil similar roles for Blake: Their energy pulls her out of her „woe is me“ drama phases and they convince her to allow friends into her life and her struggles. They are both complements to her, in theme colour (making for the morning/night theme) as well as in personality.

It’s easy to look at that and say that this is redundant, and you don’t need both characters. But that’s wrong; the similarities really just mean that Blake seems to have a type. Both characters are ultimately very different in what they mean for Blake. These differences are not in the big abstract descriptions of either one, but in the specifics; in the events that they and Blake went through together.

For Sun, a big part of his deal is that he is a Faunus and can accompany Blake to Faunus-only safe spaces without any raised eyebrows. Just imagine the fandom conversations about „Faunus facing“ we’d (rightly!) be having if Yang were to glue on a fake tail or something. The other big part is that Sun is largely unaware of the societal issues that define Blake’s views and stories (and sadly only Blake’s, this was apparently never visible to anyone else in RWBY or JNPR. But that’s a different conversation). All the way through volumes one and two, and large parts of four, Sun mainly works as an audience surrogate and sounding board for Blake.

Volume 4 slowly turns that around, though. It develops him more as a character, and their relationship as well, and interestingly, in doing so the whole thing gets far less flirty. Almost as if the show thought friendship is more important than teenage crushes… Anyway, Sun gets to be a close ally and trusted friend, and he sees Blake at her most drama queen and pushes her out of there.

(Aside: Blake is easily my favourite of the main characters in Volume 4, but Volume 4 Blake is also my favourite version of Blake. Compared to other characters, all of them are going through serious stuff and are nowhere near their most fun version - Volume 4 Yang in particular is nobody’s favourite Yang, and Vol4!Yang would definitely agree - but Blake gets the most interesting plot and the most focus and dramatic range she’s ever gotten. And Sun pushing her or just asking her questions is a big part of that. The other part is kitty ears.)

Of course a lot of that can be said for other characters. What sets Sun apart from e.g. RW_Y is that he’s had the most contact with her main fight. He has actually talked with the White Fang and understands their motivation and history. He has also seen the conditions on Menagerie, and he understands how things got to be as hateful as they are, and how they can be changed. Blake has stated at the end of Volume 4 that she plans to take the White Fang back. He is now, by his own explicit choice, a part of the whole story complex with Yang and the White Fang, and he’ll definitely be a partner for what comes next there.

The situation with Yang is very different, especially after the end of Volume 3. Yang never heard any of Blake’s exposition about Faunus oppression (again: Huge missed opportunity. RWBY generally looks at Faunus oppression only by looking at those who go too far in fighting it; the issue is presented as if it were Blake’s - or Blake’s and Sun’s - alone to deal with, not relevant to the rest of team RWBY. I hope that changes).

Instead of that, their connection is deeply personal. When Yang tells Blake her backstory, it’s not one about issues in society or giant monsters, but about personal over-exertion. After the fight with Mercury, when Blake compares Yang to her own backstory, she doesn’t talk about Faunus rights, she talks about trust and betrayal. This carries through in the „RWBY dissolved“ phase. Yang has nightmares about Adam, sure. But when she talks about the people who hurt her, Blake is the one who keeps coming up. At the same time, Blake is incredibly torn up about her getting hurt.

To me, this is ultimately the deeper and more interesting connection, not because there’s anything wrong with Sun, but because Yang is a main character. Bumblebee is a relationship where we see both sides in action, and either one brings something or does something to disappoint the other. Sun, on the other hand, is really just a support character for Blake. He is both a good friend and someone who makes her strive to be better, but he doesn’t really have much of a story to himself. For example, we never see his backstory, we never hear why he wanted to become a hunter, and we never know what he strives for in life. He wanted to get even with Ilia, but he already did that.

That’s not a problem, and it does not mean he’s not important. But it does mean that we don’t get the same room for drama that we have with the girls. For example, if Sun had been deeply disappointed by Blake’s leaving, we’d never know (For all we know Neptune is deeply disappointed by Blake’s leaving).

Overall, I’d say the difference is that Sun is much more involved in Blake’s own personal story, but Yang is where all the emotions lie. My prediction would be that Sun is the one who helps Blake reclaim the White Fang for good, but Blake and Yang will be the ones to take down Adam.

(For the record: Ilia is still a bit too new, so I can’t really say where she fits into the scheme, but I love her and I want her to be happy and included, too.)

TL;DR: I want Sun to be the best man at Blake and Yang’s wedding, but I’m okay if it’s the other way round, too.