#had had had to use the fire and ice metaphor it's just so perfect <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[twcbelts]

𝖙𝖍𝖊   𝖆𝖒𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖈𝖆𝖓    𝖓𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙𝖒𝖆𝖗𝖊    𝖍𝖆𝖉    𝖋𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖉    𝖙𝖍𝖊    𝖌𝖎𝖗𝖑    𝖔𝖋    𝖍𝖎𝖘    𝖉𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖒𝖘,    ...      𝖋𝖎𝖗𝖊    𝖇𝖚𝖗𝖓𝖘     𝖎𝖓     𝖍𝖊𝖗    𝖊𝖞𝖊𝖘,     𝖎𝖈𝖊    𝖑𝖎𝖛𝖊𝖘    𝖎𝖓    𝖍𝖎𝖘,      ...     𝖙𝖔𝖌𝖊𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗    𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖞'𝖗𝖊    𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖇𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖉    𝖆𝖓𝖉     𝖉𝖊𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖊𝖉    𝖙𝖔    𝖉𝖊𝖘𝖙𝖔𝖗𝖞    𝖙𝖍𝖊    𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖑𝖉

[mikavlcs]

Elysium

Pairing: Wednesday Addams x cryomancer!reader

Summary: After realizing her untimely feelings, Wednesday pushes you away, but the arrival of a certain dance proves that she may have made a fatal mistake in doing so. 

Warnings: ooc!wednesday(??? i honestly can’t tell), tyler galpin, baby’s first attempt at a recurring metaphor

Word count: 8k (...)

Notes: so...i don’t completely hate this lol. shout out to the anon that requested this, i had fun with it! hope you enjoy<3

Masterlist | Part 1

Wednesday was happy to be alone.

Being alone was the most natural thing in the world. A necessity that she could never dream of giving up for anyone. Other, lesser human beings may have been social creatures, but not Wednesday. She found peace in solitude, happiness in the silence that came with self-induced isolation.

She was a solitary island surrounded by an ocean that she had no interest in ever exploring.

So in order to maintain her seclusion she built the walls around her island up so high that they obscured the sun and surrounded them with wooden spikes for anyone dumb enough to approach to impale themselves on for her entertainment.

The only people she would ever open up to was her family on the incredibly rare occasions that she allowed it, but other than that, no one was ever let inside. Her walls stood tall, strong, and impenetrable.

Of course, despite her best efforts to fend off intruders, there were always the occasional daredevils that liked to see how close they could get to the fire without being burned.

Enid, it seemed, was one of those people, brazenly ignoring her warnings and threats and advancing toward her barricade. She’ll learn eventually, Wednesday supposed.

But never had she seen someone be so unbothered by her defenses until she met you.

Because you didn’t try to approach or swim onto her shore, nor did you comment on the height of her walls or the myriad of weapons crowded around them.

No, you seemed happy to just float out in the open ocean and engage with her from there, utterly content to wait for her to come out to you instead of forcing the opposite.

It was odd. But Wednesday held that same opinion for you in general.

You were a peculiarity, different in a way she hadn’t quite encountered before. Both because of your abilities and personality.

In Wednesday’s opinion, your powers were something you had much too little pride in considering how versatile they truly were.

From the solid, nearly impervious walls you could build within seconds, to the various weapons you could make—your powers had many applications that Wednesday was more than happy to take advantage of when allowed.

(She had even seen you turn your arm into solid ice. Only once, and you could only make it to the middle of your bicep, but it was impressive, nonetheless. Certainly something she could find a use for in the future.)

And that wasn’t even mentioning their practical everyday effects.

Wednesday had been told that her presence metaphorically chilled a room, but you did it literally without even meaning to. To the point where some classrooms had to turn the heat on early this year because of students’ complaints about your effects on the temperature.

Personality-wise, you were a bit warmer but not overwhelmingly so. You were friendly, but not overbearing as her roommate could often be. Positive, but not to the point where you lacked realism.

You were missing the innocence and naivete that most others your age immaturely grasped onto. 

While you were still what she would classify as an optimist, it was apparent that the world had sunk its teeth into you and ripped away something fundamental.

Not enough to break your spirit, but enough for you to know what it truly meant to suffer.

And that gravity that you held, that perfect point of neutrality you maintained, made you more tolerable than anyone else in that prison of a school.

You were peculiar. Unlike anyone Wednesday had seen or met before. You held within you the most stunning mixture of warm and cold that she’d ever seen, like a winter’s first sunrise.

You never offered up anything about yourself nor did you try to push her for any personal details. You simply did as she asked of you, helped her achieve her goals without asking for anything in return.

Whenever you were with her you seemed content to just…be.

It was so atypical, so exceptionally strange that she couldn’t help but keep you around. Couldn’t stop her feet from traveling down that familiar woodland path that you would inevitably be sitting just off of.

Over days and weeks, she found herself stepping outside her walls and slowly inching toward the shoreline, feet traversing over the damp sand to get just the slightest bit closer to you. But for the most part, she was able to refrain from ever touching the water.

The Outreach Day incident was a turning point.

Wednesday wasn’t sure why, but there was a fundamental paradigm shift in her relationship with you after that day.

She hadn’t told you the horrors that befell Mary that night, but there were inklings of it. The spilled blood on the paper, the use of that same blood to sign her name at the bottom. She showed you that for a reason.

It was a warning of sorts. Not a show of power, but a display of what she was capable of. 

And you didn’t run, you accepted the letter and all its implications with a smile and possibly the sincerest thank you Wednesday had ever received in her life.

That specific night stuck with her for weeks afterward.

It felt like that was the point when she allowed herself to step off the firm ground of the shore and wade into uncharted waters with you.

The worst part was that she didn’t even notice until the effects translated into physical symptoms.

The first was an irregularity in her heartbeat. An arrhythmia caused by the sight of your soft, crooked smile.

It jolted her in the moment, but she wrote it off as a once-off, an anomaly. Until it happened again and then again and again, all while in your presence. And that wasn’t the only thing.

There was a growing warmth in her chest that accompanied the thought of you, one powerful enough to combat your natural frigidity. And it seemed that when you were around her, the very air between you electrified, sending sparks up her veins.

Not to mention the subtle shortness of breath and nerves that persisted in your presence.

These instances didn’t scare her, but they did draw her concern. She took note of all her symptoms and did as much research as she could, but there was no disease or sickness she could find that matched what she was experiencing.

That left the next most logical conclusion—sabotage. Considering all of these oddities happened when she was with you, that theory was somewhat plausible. But she had a hard time believing it.

Motive was the first thing that didn’t add up. Why would you want to do this? And with such an ineffective method, it made no sense. What even was your methodology here? Poison?

Wednesday was a self-taught master of poisons. She had ingested nearly every toxin she was able to get her hands on to both study its effects firsthand and build an immunity. There was no poison on the planet that Wednesday wouldn’t be able to identify in seconds, let alone any that would actually be able to incapacitate her, so that didn’t track either.

There were other holes in this theory as well. The unusual electricity, for instance. Sure, your powers were elementally based, but you could only create and bend ice to your will, not electric currents.

And generally, she just found it hard to believe that you would do anything nefarious to her.

She decided she would push the issue to the back of her mind. It wasn’t actively impeding her ability to function in any meaningful way, so it would wait until the current investigation was laid to rest, a mystery to be solved after the monster was found.

But everything finally clicked weeks later, when Eugene was guiding them to a cave pictured in a drawing she stole from Xavier, one of her current suspects.

Eugene was leading a few paces ahead while the two of you lingered behind, strides matching the others perfectly. He was going on about the insect life local to the area. Wednesday had little interest, but you indulged him, asking questions and listening with a smile.

She preferred to just listen to you both, stealing occasional glances at you while you laughed along with Eugene.

It was only when she caught herself pondering how well you would get along with her brother, how much Pugsley would enjoy the company of someone like you that the realization hit her with all the force of an incoming bullet train.

The “symptoms” she’d been experiencing for the past months were not indicative of any kind of medical issue, but instead of something else. Something far, far worse.

For it was a sign that she had become a hypocrite, that she had gone off and done exactly what she swore to her mother she would never do. Just like that her world was turned upside down and she was left to reevaluate everything that she knew about herself.

She didn’t realize she had stopped in the middle of the forest until you entered her direct line of sight, stepping in front of her with worried eyes.

“Hey, are you alright?”

A harsh swallow and hard blink were all she needed to regain her bearings, but she still couldn’t quite meet your eyes.

“I’m fine.” She walked past you, discarding the worried looks you were giving her.

The rest of the afternoon went without issue, even gathering a critical piece of DNA evidence from the monster, but the revelation weighed heavily on her from then until deep in the early hours of the morning.

Troubled, she lay awake, the resting shadows of Enid and Thing taunting her from their respective places in bed and atop her desk. But sleep was the furthest thing on her mind then, no matter how much she wished it was.

Instead, she was stuck replaying every moment that she had spent with you, wondering when and how she had wandered so far from the safety of her shore.

The water was up to her chest now, lapping at her chin roughly. You were there, encouraging her to swim out farther with you, but Wednesday was at a standstill.

She was in far too deep to ignore, and she had to choose between swimming back to shore now without you or risking you letting her drown beneath the tempestuous waves. And as tempting as your invitation was, Wednesday had to choose the option she knew guaranteed her safety.

So the next day, for the first time since she had stepped foot in the forest, Wednesday avoided the familiar path that led to you.

Both to and from, she walked the opposite side of the woods, the unfamiliar trees doing little to assuage the harsh stinging in her chest.

You approached her about it after classes the next day, confusion and curiosity abound, but she forced herself to keep walking. Even as your words died and your face fell, she kept one steady foot in front of the other until she made it back to her dorm.

Wednesday preferred to be alone, it was the optimal state of being in her mind. Without the burden of others’ emotions and weaknesses, she was free to do whatever she pleased. But that wasn’t what it felt like now.

Instead, the lack of your presence felt like a burden and weighed down on her like a thousand stones on her back every time she stepped into the woods without you. Sweat formed on her skin even in the brisk autumn breeze.

She found the world was far too warm without you near.

In truth, she wasn’t sure what was worse, the sudden separation or the fact that you didn’t even protest against it.

Though she avoided you in the woods, seeing you around school was inevitable. But even when you sat next to her in class, you never tried to confront her about her recent behavior. You just…accepted it.

Anyone else would think that you didn’t care, that you were unbothered by her absence but Wednesday knew better. She knew you.

She saw the way you walked the halls with downcast eyes, noticed the near-permanent sorrowful frown you wore wherever you went.

It was clear that you were affected by her decision but chose to do nothing about it.

For some reason, that bothered her nearly as much as the distance did. You weren’t scared of her, so why were you acting like you were now? It made no sense.

Though she wouldn’t be inclined to admit it aloud, you were powerful. Between the nature of your powers and your near-perfect control over them, you were more than capable of demanding answers if you really wanted to. And yet you didn’t.

It nagged at her during the day, incessantly whispered in her ear at night, keeping her awake.

She was half-tempted to ask. The part of her that cared for you latched onto it, wanting any excuse to see you and be near you again.

But she didn’t. Because she made her choice.

Wednesday was back to being alone, safe on the desolate shores of her island with her stark walls, and she would have to learn to accept it once again.

-

A considerable amount had happened over the span of a week.

In terms of her case, Xavier had officially been promoted to prime suspect. Meaning that she had been sneaking around him to gather evidence for the better part of the week.

She had to relocate her crime board to the Hummer’s shed because of Enid’s impossibly weak stomach, and somehow, one of the largest thorns in her side was the imminent arrival of the school’s yearly dance—the Rave’n.

An event both you and she initially decided not to attend in order to further your investigative efforts but…circumstances changed.

She very nearly had to go with Xavier. An attempt to raid his personal art shed ended with him finding her there and, to cover her tracks, she was forced to ask him to the dance. But after getting caught inside his art shed only days later, that disaster was thankfully called off.

At least she successfully managed to do what she went there for in the first place—steal something with his DNA.

Now, she was trying to convince the stubborn sheriff to run both the claw and the cloth with Xavier’s blood then cross-reference the DNA to see if they matched, but of course, he refused.

The possible answer to her mystery was a hair’s width away and the only thing holding her back was the oversized ego of an old man. Typical.

Just as she was about to walk out, he agreed to run her evidence, and for the first time in seven days, she felt like she could breathe. Finally, after months of chasing this mystery, concrete answers were on the horizon. It was a refreshing change of pace.

(There was only one thing missing…)

Wednesday walked out of the sheriff’s office with only the forming hypothesis about her suspect to keep her company.

Thing refused to come with her. He had been far less cooperative since she’d started avoiding you and as annoying as his moods could be, she knew she deserved it, so she let him rebel.

As long as he still assisted her in her investigation when needed, he could do whatever he wanted.

Against her better judgment, she wondered if he was with you. He had immediately taken a liking to you, always trying to rope you into his elaborate schemes when she brought you to her dorm to aid in her research efforts.

So it wouldn’t be implausible to assume that he had been in contact with you since she had cut you off. She wondered if he knew how you were doing. If he would actually tell her if she asked.

After what she’d done, she wondered if she even deserved to know.

“Hey, Wednesday, wait up!”

She paused, annoyance already coursing through her veins because she knew that voice. Turning, she was met with the sight of Tyler Galpin jogging over to her from across the street.

A mixture of annoyance and unease coursed through her. She was tempted to just leave—dealing with one Galpin had already drained her limited patience—but the inherent intrigue kept her in place.

Tyler was an enigma to her, a contradiction that was made all the more interesting when put in contrast to his father.

Sheriff Donovan Galpin was a dogmatic, stubborn prick at the best of times. Truly one of the most inherently irritating men Wednesday had ever had the misfortune of interacting with. 

But he was a genuine man.

He was passionate about his job, upfront about what he wanted, and he didn’t let anything stop him from finding answers, not even when told to stand down by the mayor himself. In a sense, it was something Wednesday respected about him.

Tyler was the opposite, all counterfeit charm and synthetic smiles for no outwardly apparent reason.

Wednesday didn’t like him. He was only kept around because he was a useful source of information. Having lived in Jericho his whole life, he knew things about the town that she didn’t, but he was still just…off.

She couldn’t explain it, even with her extraordinary diction.

Something about him just caused an innate, negative alchemical reaction within her. He set off her intrinsic alarm bells whenever he was near, like he was the culprit of a terrible (not in the good way) crime that she just couldn’t prove.

Instinctively, she thought back to the observation you offered when she asked your opinion of the boy.

“He’s just…weird, y’know?” you said, eyes glued to the birds flying between the branches overhead, admiring them as you both walked down the familiar woodland path. 

“It’s like he’s wearing the skin of the perfect small-town boy next door. He’s perfected the shy dialogue and sunny personality, but he hasn’t quite gotten the movements and mannerisms down.”

It made her tense, already perfect posture straightening up even more as he rounded her and slowed to a stop a few feet in front of her, effectively blocking her way.

“Hey,” he grinned. “I wasn’t expecting to see you in town. What are you doing?”

“Running errands,” she answered tersely.

“Oh? Shopping for a certain dance perhaps?”

She gritted her teeth at the mention of the event. “We’ve interacted enough for you to know that I have no interest in frivolous school events.”

“Right,” he chuckled, awkward. “Well, hopefully, this one isn’t completely off the table.”

Wednesday had no qualms against squashing the hope in his voice. “It is.” She sidestepped and tried to leave but he blocked her once more.

“Wait, I need to ask you something.”

“Tyler, I have neither the time nor the interest for your inquiries right now.” She tried to move past him, but he grabbed her shoulder to stop her, grip a bit too tight.

Immediately, she ripped herself out of his grasp and gave him a glare so sharp it could’ve cut him in two.

Tyler put his hands up, sounding genuine when he said, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have grabbed you like that, I know. I just… Please, just hear me out.”

She continued to glare, but it was clear he wasn’t going to leave her alone about this. Wednesday sighed, jaw clenched tight. “Fine. Hurry up.”

“I was…well, I was just wondering if—”

He cut himself off with a cough. Wednesday exhaled sharply.

“Spit it out, Tyler.”

“…Do you maybe wanna go to the Rave’n with me?” he asked, bringing his hand to scratch his neck in a gesture of nervousness that wasn’t quite convincing enough. Your words echoed in her mind, and she couldn’t help but realize how right you were.

She narrowed her eyes, the no just about to slip off her tongue but she bit it back at the last second and looked at him—really looked at him.

His artificial boyish grin was present, stiff pseudo-withdrawn posture accompanying it. But his eyes were different.

Usually, they were unreadable, vacant of any of the emotion injected into his voice, but not now. Now, she could see the echoes of an unspecified emotion creeping just along the edges of his irises.

There was something lurking within the shadows of his eyes, something that even Wednesday couldn’t quite decipher.

It unsettled her, enough for her to change her plans on the spot.

“Fine. Pick me up at 8. If you’re late, I’ll have Thing remove one of your fingers.”

She didn’t bother waiting for a response, promptly moving past him and around the corner the moment she was finished speaking and maintaining that speed until she was halfway through her new forest path back to Nevermore.

Once she passed the marker of her halfway point, she finally slowed and allowed herself to process what she had seen.

What was that?

Sure, she had thought that something with Tyler was off, but this was her first time seeing an inkling of something genuinely sinister. Could it have some deeper meaning? Could she have been putting her focus on the wrong person for the past few weeks?

She brushed her mild shock aside and took the next logical step in her process—mentally categorizing and contrasting her two suspects.

Xavier had been within close proximity both times she had encountered the monster, at the festival and in the forest with you on Outreach Day. Additionally, he had those suspicious scratch marks on his neck, and though he said they were from a painting of the beast brought to life, that could very well be a lie.

But Tyler’s whereabouts in both of those instances were unknown, so in theory, he could have been there as well. For all she knew, he could be an outcast of some sort as well.

Wednesday sighed, feeling the beginnings of a headache coming on.

Looked like she would be attending the dance after all.

-

The night of the Rave’n came far too quickly for Wednesday’s liking.

She was sitting on her bed, squirming uncomfortably in the dress Thing stole for her as she awaited Tyler’s arrival. The sentient hand had already gone off to the dance, under explicit instruction to monitor Xavier for her while she observed Tyler for the night, which he thankfully agreed to without protest.

Enid was also long gone, thankfully. She would already have to deal with her at the dance itself, so she was grateful to have some time to prepare without her roommates squealing.

8 pm rolled around and with it came a knock on her door.

He was technically thirty-seven seconds late, but she wasn’t about to throw away an ample opportunity such as this over that. (Though she would at least think about going through with her threat. Thing would be more than happy to add another finger to his collection.)

With a quiet sigh, she stood and pulled the door open to reveal her companion for what would undoubtedly be a hellish evening.

Tyler looked up when the door opened, a big grin creeping onto his face when he saw her.

“W-Wow, you look…amazing,” he stuttered out, eyes void of the wonder in his voice. Wednesday hummed, running her eyes over his outfit.

Plain white button-up, blazer, slacks, and dress shoes. Following the dress code to the letter. Disappointing.

“You look passable,” she said plainly, moving to stride past him. “Let’s go. Even ‘fashionably late’ has its limits.”

Without bothering to wait for him, she marched onward out of her dorm, leaving Tyler scrambling to catch up behind her. 

She wasn’t sure where exactly the dance was being held, but it was a nonissue. All she needed to do was allow the obnoxiously loud music to guide her way, like a North star.

Unsurprisingly, that worked and before she knew it, they were walking through the entrance, adorned with lights and sequins, and stepping into the event proper.

She took a cursory glance around the room as she entered, and she had to give the decorating committee a bit of credit because the place was not hideous. The flashing lights and nauseating amounts of glittery décor were heinous, but at least there appeared to be a theme present.

Onyx eyes found you instantly, drawn to you like magnets, and she froze in place. Tyler stopped a few paces ahead of her, giving her a weird look but she paid no attention to him.

There were many other eyes on her as well, but she ignored them just the same, instead focused on two things.

First, not only were you here despite saying you had no plans to attend but you were also dressed from head to toe in black. Just as she was. 

And while you weren’t the only person not following the assigned dress code—she was particularly happy to see both Bianca and Enid forgoing it—you still stood out to her far more than the others.

You had forsaken the theme in a way that no one else had. No one besides her, that is.

And second, you were with Eugene.

He was there next to you, smiling and laughing in tandem with you as you talked about god knew what. Her chest tightened and burned with an unfamiliar emotion.

Now, logically Wednesday knew that you had no feelings beyond friendship for the boy, considering both his age and the fact that, to her knowledge, you had only spoken to him a handful of times. But it didn’t matter.

Eugene could be replaced with any other faceless student, and she suspected she would still be upset to see you here with someone else. (In her color, nonetheless.)

As if you could sense her gaze, you looked over toward the entrance where she stood, and you stilled instantly, reflecting her own reaction.

Your smile waned, as did whatever sentence you had been in the middle of, and the shock that painted your expression turned to hurt when your eyes traveled to the boy she walked in with.

Even from across the room, Wednesday could see frost building on the glass in your hand, and she yearned to know what was upsetting you so greatly that you were losing control of your powers. Was it just her mere presence here? Or Tyler’s? A mixture of both?

Before she could properly react, Enid bounded up to her, clapping her hands excitedly. “O-M-G, I love the look! I can’t believe you actually showed up.”

“Neither can I,” she muttered with distaste. Her eyes wandered over Enid’s shoulder to where you were and found that you were no longer looking at her, but instead back at Eugene.

You looked upset, the happiness you radiated only moments ago long gone, and she hated to think that she was the possible cause. Eugene appeared to be consoling you about something. Wednesday itched to go over and ask you herself.

Enid followed her eyes, her smile dropping a bit. “Yeah, you guys are totally matching. I thought it might’ve been coordinated but…” She gave Tyler an unimpressed once-over. “I guess I overestimated your taste.”

Wednesday’s brows raised, focus darting back to Enid. The corner of her lips twitched. Maybe she was beginning to rub off on her chipper roommate.

Again, Wednesday peered over her shoulder and this time found Lucas. When their eyes met, he waved at her nervously, his posture noticeably stiffening as he lingered at the table behind Enid. 

The realization hit and any traces of a smile were gone instantly.

“Well, I suppose I could say the same about you, Sinclair,” she drawled, sending Lucas a pointed look.

Enid grimaced, sending him a sheepish glance. “It’s not what it looks like, I swear. He’s trying to make his ex jealous and I’m just trying to make Ajax jealous. It’s a mutually beneficial temporary partnership, nothing more!”

That sounded immensely stupid to Wednesday, but she nodded anyway to placate the girl. “Well, if he does anything stupid, don’t hesitate to inform me,” she looked back to the boy behind the werewolf, projecting her voice so he could hear. “I brought my pocket mace. The medieval kind.”

Lucas gulped loud enough to be heard over the music, but Enid just giggled.

“Of course. And if you need to ditch your ‘date’, just let me know.” She sent Tyler, who was speaking with Miss Thornhill, a half-hearted smile.

Suddenly, Enid gasped; eyes locked onto a certain gorgon quickly approaching from across the room.

“Ajax is coming this way, I gotta go,” Enid hurriedly explained, going to grab Lucas. “Try to have some fun, Willa! Or as much as you can with that normie.”

Wednesday glowered at the nickname.

“How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me that, Enid?” she called after the retreating girl, who only offered a wave in return.

Tyler, finally finished with whatever conversation he was having with her teacher, sidled up to her with his hands buried in his pockets. “So, uh…what do you wanna do?”

Leave, she immediately thought but didn’t say. She looked around for anything remotely interesting and when she found nothing, her eyes settled on the beverage table. She wasn’t thirsty in the slightest, but it was something.

“I’ll go get us drinks.” She only made it a step forward before she was blocked by an arm.

“Allow me,” Tyler remarked with that ever-irritating grin. “You stay here.”

He straightened his blazer and sauntered toward the table, leaving her by herself. 

Aggravation built in her chest, but she couldn’t get worked up so early into the night, so she took a long breath and searched for an empty table.

Only a few seconds into her search, someone snagged her arm and pulled her off to the side. She whirled on them the moment they stopped moving, fist fully prepared to strike, and only halted her attack at the last second when she saw the culprit.

Xavier.

Maybe I should’ve struck anyway, she mused idly. But aloud she said, “What do you want?”

“I can’t believe you’re here with him,” he spat. The vitriol in his voice piqued her interest.

“Why?” she asked. “Do you have history?”

He laughed, rough and humorless. “That’s one way to put it.”

Wednesday crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows expectantly. After a moment, he obliged.

“You remember that blank wall I was staring at on Outreach Day?” he asked.

She nodded.

“Well, last year Principal Weems asked that I paint a mural there to celebrate Outreach Day. I was there after dark finishing it up when Tyler and his asshole friends jumped me. They held me down and beat me up then ruined the painting and just left me there. It took weeks for me to recover.”

Wednesday would admit that she was taken aback. She knew Tyler was hiding something, but to find out that he had been responsible for something so violent was unexpected. Unexpected and incredibly valuable.

She was reminded of what Xavier said the day after the festival about Tyler not being who she thought he was. More and more, it was beginning to look like he had a point.

“And was that his first instance of violent behavior?”

“No,” he said, “he’s been picking on outcasts for years. Only recently has he stopped because he’s ‘reformed’ or some bullshit. But I don’t believe it. People like that rarely change.”

On that, they could both agree.

“I’m only here with him because he’s a suspect, like you. Nothing more, nothing less.”

Xavier didn’t seem comforted by her words. He snorted, “Well at least I’m not the only one you’re willing to use for your own gain.”

She rolled her eyes, not bothering to even respond to the comment. She assumed that to be the end of the conversation, but Xavier remained there, watching her.

He was waiting for something, she realized. Something that would never come.

“I’m not going to apologize for putting my investigation, and thus the safety of everyone in and around Jericho, over your fragile feelings, Xavier,” she said, slowly and succinctly. “So if that’s what you’re waiting for then don’t bother further wasting your time.”

Xavier’s jaw clenched. “Fine,” he gritted out, rueful, and stalked back over to his table.

Wednesday didn’t bother watching him leave, still processing what he told her.

The revelation of Tyler’s violent past marinated in her mind. Seemed like she had a new prime suspect on her hands.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw something crawl up onto the table next to her. She looked over and was greeted by Thing. He stood to attention; his stance was alert, but it was clear that he was still excited just to be there.

He even had a bowtie tied around his wrist for the occasion, one she’d never seen before but it was a perfect fit.

“Nice bowtie. Enid?”

He tapped out a confirmation.

“I figured,” she said, then got serious again. “I’m assuming you heard everything that was said?”

Another affirming tap.

“It seems that Tyler is shaping up to be the real prime suspect, but I still want you to keep all five fingers on Xavier. I need to make sure all of my bases are covered, just in case.”

She looked around for her date and found him a few tables away, two drinks sat in front of him. Considering the weird looks he was shooting at Xavier; one could assume that he had seen their discussion. She sighed.

“I should get back before Tyler gets suspicious. Make sure to follow my instructions.” She gave him a look. Then, “Since I know this will be getting dull soon, you can feel free to trip however many people you want. Just make sure it’s within my sightline. I need as much amusement as I can get tonight.”

Thing perked up and gave her an excited thumbs up before scampering back off in Xavier’s direction, likely looking for his next victim along the way.

Once he was out of sight, she made her way over to Tyler, valiantly ignoring the questioning look he was giving her as she took a seat on the other side of the table.

Not one to be deterred, he asked, “What was that about?”

“Nothing that concerns you,” came her easy answer.

“Oh, uh ok,” Tyler stammered. He opened and closed his mouth a few more times (movements still just a bit too scripted to feel real) before sliding one of the cups over to her side of the table.

“I got us the drinks,” he offered, sounding more unsure than he seemed.

“Thanks,” she deadpanned. The cup went untouched, however. She remembered what Xavier said about the punch being spiked, and she had no desire to be inebriated. Especially around Tyler.

Wednesday stared carefully at the boy across from her, watching and waiting for any more unnatural behaviors. But he got suddenly quiet, seeming to actively avoid her gaze, so she turned to survey the dance floor.

The lone black silhouette was easy to spot in a moving sea of white.

You were grinning harder than she’d ever seen before, dancing energetically to a headache-inducing pop song with someone—Eugene, given the curly hair.

It was a mesmerizing sight, seeing you shed your usual reserved nature and be so unrepentantly joyful around so many others.

As she watched you dance and have fun with Eugene, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she had made a grave mistake.

She thought back to your earlier reaction when she arrived at the dance, the hurt in your eyes when you saw Tyler. Under the assumption that it wasn’t just a figment of her imagination, could that have been indicative of something?

The idea that you could be harboring feelings for her, mirroring her own current predicament, made her heart race uncomfortably.

If it was true, had she ruined her own chances by pushing you away?

Self-sabotage was an abstract concept to Wednesday. The idea that she would ever hinder her own road to success was laughable. Especially when people like Sheriff Galpin and Principal Weems were content to do that all on their own.

She had always taken what she perceived to be the most logical next step to get her closer to achieving her goals. And that was what she thought she was doing when she pushed you away���eliminating a problem that stood in her way.

But now, being faced with the possibility that she had ruined what she had with you because of her own emotional ineptitude was staggering, inconceivable almost.

Wednesday ruminated over her mother’s parting words to her on her first day at Nevermore.

“You’re a brilliant girl, Wednesday, but sometimes you get in your own way.”

Perhaps her mother held more wisdom than she was willing to give her credit for.

Her self-introspection was halted by Tyler.

“Do…you wanna dance?” he asked, hesitant.

Her answer was immediate. “No.”

Abruptly, someone on her left tripped, falling forward with a piercing squeal and a loud crash. Wednesday smirked. At least Thing was enjoying himself.

The song changed from one loud and irritating pop song to another, prompting more students to flood the dance floor.

Spotting you amongst the chaos was harder, but through a pocket between some students, she was able to catch a glimpse of your dark figure alongside Eugene as the tempo began to pick up.

Some other familiar faces were joining you now, including Enid and her normie not-date, Bianca, who seemingly came to her senses and ditched her date, and a few other people that Wednesday could vaguely remember from the Nightshade’s library. Her lungs burned in her chest despite the abundance of air around her.

It was ironic, she thought, how she felt like she was drowning more now on dry land than she did when she was in the water.

Once again, her observations were interrupted, this time with an angry scoff.

Crossing her arms, Wednesday turned to Tyler, her agitation showing in her voice. “What?”

He released an incredulous laugh at her question, as if she was crazy for even asking.

“You know, I don’t get it, Wednesday. You’ve been distracted all night. First with that werewolf girl, then Xavier, then whoever,” he made an angry gesture in your direction, “that is. What was the point of accepting my invitation if you’re not even going to have the decency to pay attention to me?”

Wednesday forced a sigh through her nose. He was right, but not for the reasons he thought.

She should be using this event to her advantage, taking this time to analyze the boy in front of her for the sake of her investigation. Yet her mind remained steadfast on the thought of you, eyes wanting to get just one more glimpse whenever they possibly could.

She couldn’t begrudge him in his anger here; she knew that she was technically in the wrong, but she wasn’t apologetic either. After all, there was still the chance that he was a serial killer.

A flash of black in her peripherals got her attention. Without turning her head, she looked and saw you heading toward the exit. Her breath stuttered, the urge to get up and follow you pulling painfully at her chest. And for a moment, she genuinely considered it.

In front of her, Tyler banged a fist on the table, successfully bringing her full attention back to him. “You’re doing it again,” he growled out. His fist was clenched so hard that his knuckles were bone white.

The shadows crossed his eyes again, a flash of something malevolent making her dig her nails into her arms. Unflinching, she stared right back with raised brows, practically challenging him to do something, to confirm her rapidly increasing suspicions.

Unfortunately, he didn’t. In the face of her challenge, he backed down and sat back in his chair, posture slumping over once more.

If he was the monster, then he was at least smart enough to pick his battles accordingly.

Wednesday glanced toward the exit again. She knew he was going to make her decide and though it should have been much harder to come up with an answer, she suspected that she had her mind made up from the start.

“Choose,” he demanded, barely loud enough to be heard over the blasting music. “Me or—”

She was on her feet before he could even finish.

Tyler’s shouts of protest went unacknowledged, her feet leading her in the same direction you went. On her way out, she caught Enid’s eyes.

Her roommate flashed her a smile and a thumbs up, to which Wednesday rolled her eyes. But deep down she was glad to have the encouragement. She would likely need it for what came next.

The music faded to a dull roar behind her as she exited the dance, scanning the outside hall for any sign of where you could’ve gone.

Turned out there was no need to search for you because you were right there, on the far side of the room. You were reclined on a bench with your back turned to her, leaning your head against the back of the bench with your eyes closed.

She approached as quietly as possible, her heart thumping so hard she wouldn’t be surprised if it shattered her sternum.

Wednesday had never given much thought to the phrase “absence makes the heart grow fonder” before, thinking it to be a stupid and nauseatingly sappy sentiment. But the ache she felt in her very bones to be close to you again proved her incorrect.

The air chilled the nearer she got to you and the static electricity sparked along her skin. She welcomed both sensations with open arms.

Slowly, she rounded the bench and seated herself on the far side, leaving a generous amount of space between you and her in case you wanted it. With a breath, she broke the quiet.

“Leaving so soon?”

“Taking a break, actually,” you responded, not opening your eyes. “Dancing’s a lot more tiring than it looks and it’s hard to take a breather when there are so many people in there. Too much body heat.”

You didn’t say anything after that and neither did she. Because she wasn’t entirely sure what to say if she was being honest.

Selfishly, she wanted you to just ask. Ask her why she shut you out, why she kept walking every time she saw you. She wanted to know that you, in some capacity, still cared about the work you were doing with her. That you wanted to regain the closeness that she had so swiftly taken away.

More than anything, she wanted to know that you might have missed her. Because she missed you, far more than she had any right to.

And when your voice finally pierced the silence, you did ask her a question, but not the one she wanted to hear.

“How’s the investigation?”

“Still pending, but seminal progress has been made. The suspect list is narrowing steadily,” she informed, keeping her tone neutral.

“Oh?” You raised a brow in her direction. You looked like you wanted to question her further but didn’t. She told you anyway.

“My main suspects at the moment are Xavier and Tyler. That’s why I allowed him to drag me to this horrific affair.”

“I see,” you said quietly. Then, with just a hint of teasing, “And are you having fun?”

She answered with an exasperated look. You looked away with an airy laugh, allowing the thrum of the music to encapsulate the space.

Again, she let the quiet linger to give you an opportunity to speak. She waited and waited but nothing came. It was driving her mad.

Finally, she cracked, her curiosity getting the better of her.

“Why aren’t you asking me why I suddenly left? Do you not wish to know?”

Your head dropped, a sad smile creeping onto your face. “No, I just figured it would happen sooner or later. I would wear out my usefulness and you would leave me behind to continue on with your investigation by yourself. I guess it was inevitable.”

Your confession caught her off guard. It was odd to see someone so powerful think so little of themselves. She also noticed how it was now her investigation instead of both of yours.

The connotation made something curdle in Wednesday’s stomach.

All at once, she found herself at an impasse. She wanted you to reach out and give her a sign. A sign that you still wanted to be associated with her. That you still felt something—anything for her. That maybe, just maybe you might want her.

But she also knew that it wasn’t right for her to expect that of you. It was only fair that she, as the one that severed the connection, bridged the gap herself if she truly wanted to make things right.

And she did, she found. She wanted it more than anything.

The ache in her bones deepened and urged her to take that first step off the blistering sands and back into dauntingly unfamiliar waves.

“That’s not why I did it.”

“Hm?” you hummed, turning slightly in her direction. You still weren’t looking at her, instead counting the dark frills on the end of her dress and it was bothering her. She clenched a fist.

“I didn’t leave because you were no longer useful to me,” she said, carefully.

She was neck deep now. The final chance to turn back presented itself, but Wednesday let it pass and plunged her head beneath the water. One final leap of faith to reach you.

“I left you behind because I was developing feelings that far exceeded the bounds of a partnership…or a friendship, for that matter,” she admitted, gripping the bench till her knuckles were white. “I thought that if I parted ways with you then they would disappear.”

It was quiet for a moment, the dull thrum of the music in the next room filling the space between.

Then, “Have they?”

“No,” she admitted after a beat.

The air thickened and it made the simple act of breathing a challenge. Wednesday stayed still, eyes studying even the tiniest movements of your face. That made it easy to spot the beginnings of a smile on your face.

“Good.”

The stutter in her heartbeat returned. She swallowed roughly against the sudden dryness in her mouth. “Good?”

Your smile widened, and for the first time since she sat down beside you, you met her eyes. “Yeah. It’s nice to know that my feelings are reciprocated after months of uncertainty.”

It took a minute for the words to truly register. The electricity turned into rolling waves of thunder in her chest, raging a storm as her heartbeat picked up.

“You…feel the same?”

“Of course,” you said, softly. “How couldn’t I? You’re the most riveting person I’ve ever met, Wednesday.”

Even if she could speak, she wouldn’t know what to say to that. In lieu of a verbal answer, she stood and crossed the distance between you and her.

When she settled back down, she was much closer. So close she could feel the blessed cold of your skin against hers. She took a breath then slowly, tentatively, she rested her head on your shoulder.

Wednesday felt you stiffen under her, then relax again. A moment later, you settled your head on top of hers, your cheek nuzzling the crown of her head. That simple act alleviated the deep-seated ache within her.

Finally, she broke the surface of the water and regained her breath. Floating atop the restless sea with you at her side, helping keep her head above the wild waves. In that moment she felt ethereal and unafraid and free.

She would confront Tyler later, hopefully with you at her side once more. But for now, she wanted to maintain this closeness, this blissful weightlessness, and just be here with you for as long as the universe would allow.

[isolatedbubble]

Romance in MXTX, Priest, and SHL

MXTX: Flower, Wine and Dreamworld

The romance in MXTX's works is like flower that grows in ice and snow; colorful, bright and hopelessly romantic, blossoms in misery and hardships.

It features a distinct "us against the world" mindset, depicting love as the only constant in the world. It's an eternal "dreamworld" detached from worldly matters, the perfect escapism as well as a source of strengths in the face of cruel reality.

Both MDZS and TGCF are a critique of mob mentality.

The contrast between CQL and MDZS is very interesting. While the former ends with LWJ taking charge, and therefore changing the world for the better, the novel ends with wangxian isolating themselves from grand politics and focusing more on helping individuals as recluse. It has an essentially pessimistic attitude towards the morality & intelligence of the collective. 

TGCF takes a slightly more optimistic approach, featuring the crowd being courageous under the right circumstances. However, both works share a similar undertone: putting one’s absolute faith in the collective is dangerous, whereas unconditional trust and devotion can be only found in one-to-one connection

MXTX herself compares MDZS and TGCF to 花间一壶酒 (A cup of wine among flowers), MDZS being the wine and TGCF being flower. She also compares MDZS to 风雪夜归人, the person returning home from snow and wind, and TGCF to 红泥小火炉, a small red furnace.

Priest: Breezing Wind and Burning Iron

The romance in priest's works is more complicated. It's the most gentle in its normal state, when it is rational and collected, in which case it's like the breezing wind, soothing, sweet and light-hearted. It gives the individuals more incentive to achieve their individual and/or societal vision, as well as more reason to value their own lives & well-being.

In Faraway Wanderers, the most distinct feature of WenZhou relationship is how in naturally sync they are, and how comfortable & smooth their dynamic is. They both have past burden, but it doesn’t matter, because they bring simple joy, understanding and happiness in each other’s lives.

In Sha Po Lang and The Guardian, the ML’s lingering love for the MC motivates them to become better version of themselves, to care about others, and to form a holistic vision about bettering society. 

In The Defective, Lin Jingheng(MC) explicitly said that Lu Bixing(ML) is the only meaning in his life. He had little incentive to care about his own life after his revenge plan fell apart. LBX helped him reconnect with his inner idealism, and gave him a reason value his life.

When the passion and fiery energy manifests itself, however, the romance is like burning iron, blood and fire. It isn’t actually toxic or unhealthy, but it's not pure and innocent either; in this case, it strives for something deeper and more intense, never content with the past or the present. The sheer intensity of relationship is like a double-edged sword, walking the fine line between unconditional devotion and dangerous obsession. 

SHL: Spring Water and Healing Open Wounds

The romance in SHL is like "spring water"; it's warm, gentle, nurturing. It breaks through the boundary between individuals to bring the couple closer to each other, taking them back to a utopia of their childhood dream, away from social pressure and responsibility. The theme central to their relationship is “salvation”: how love is able to bring people back to integrity.

Both drama wkx and drama zzs have lots of regret about their past sins and wrongdoings. Four Seasons Manor is essentially a metaphor for purity, acceptance and the safety of childhood home. How to make drama wkx open up and accept this safe harbor as his home is one of the most significant plot-lines of the show.

SHL couple is way more emotionally vulnerable and expressive. A significant part of SHL arc is healing the wounds in an open and honest way. They cuddle and confide in each other way more often, talk about their shameful past and even cry about their regrets in front of one another, which is very rare among MXTX/Priest works.

The heat of the relationship sometimes gets too hot and even burns; in other words, there are constant miscommunications, conflicts and misunderstandings in the relationship. However, they can never let each other go, because it's the only source of warmth left for them in their hopeless lives filled with regrets and guilt.

Similarities and Differences

*Note that this is not a SHL/TYK comparison. TYK is kind of an “unorthodox” priest novel; you will know what I mean if you have read 3+ of her works. 

Relationship Dynamic & Narrative:  

In MXTX’s works, the concept of “romance” itself is divined; and the characters are illustration of the ideal of “undying love”. People are made for one another, to complete one another. Her works use colorful symbolism (silver butterflies, the emperor’s smile, the 3 thousand lanterns, etc.) to depict this romanticized ideal of love. 

For MXTX, the romanticization of “destined love” is one of the most recurring themes of her novels. Therefore, the readers look at their relationship through rose-color glasses. Obsession is usually framed in a jolly & romantic light, and doesn’t feature much tension or stress, and has less negative or unhealthy undertone. 

In most of priest’s works and SHL, soulmates are not born but made, so they have to figure out how their relationship works step by step. Therefore the narrative is less of a “rosy picture”. 

Priest has a habit of using derogatory terms to describe relationships that are mostly healthy, but somewhat “bloody” and edgy, full of excessive passion and obsession. The most common phrase is “爱生忧怖”, a Buddhist term meaning “love results in worry and fear”. 

SHL obviously has to be more subtle in expressing love. That said, drama WenZhou are way more emotionally vulnerable and expressive than their novel counterparts, as well as most Priest & MXTX characters. They have a dramatic falling out once in a while, even towards the end. They barely fit the Chinese definition of Zhiji (to know me/to understand one another), but are “lovers” who are buried deep in their passion instead. 

Past, Future and Evolvement: 

In SHL, characters are encouraged to treasure past impressions that are thrown in figurative “wrappings”, whose luster is derived from age-old experiences (Psychological Types, Carl Jung). In other words, they are encouraged to root their love in a shared past, a Utopia of innocence. 

The contrast between The Defective and Word of Honor is very interesting to observe. Both involve long separation, and the suffering and personality changes hat comes from it.   SHL narrative frames their innocent childhood as something to cling to and return to. Drama WKX is encouraged to accept his identity as Four Seasons Manor disciple because it was part of his childhood past. This is a significant part of drama WenZhou relationship.

In The Defective, the narrative doesn't encourage the couple to dwell on the past that much. On the contrary, the all-knowing AI explicitly discouraged the MC from “comparing past to present”. They are advised to accept changes, however painful it might be, and build a better, more equal dynamic out of it, evolving from one-sided pandering to fighting side-by-side.  

In Priest’s novels, the characters rarely return to something in the past, but look into the future. Change is usually framed as inherently beneficial, albeit usually painful and rocky, the implication being that you need to constantly strive for something better.  

Sha Po Lang is a good example of this, with Gu Yun’s changing attitude towards Chang Geng after he as he matures, gradually showing his intelligence in politics. CG starts referring to GY as Zixi instead of YiFu is also a sign of this change---to see him as equal rather than a parental figure & protector.

The Defective is even more obvious in this regard, with both parties uncomfortable with the change initially, but gradually adjusting to the changes during their 16-year separation. The ML also stops calling MC by his surname “Lin”, as a sign of viewing him as equal. 

In MXTX’s works, change in personality or relationship dynamic is neither framed as painful or good. It just happens. It’s a natural flow that take place when it does. Their relationships are rarely challenged by change. They are objectively at a better place compared to their past, but it’s merely the result of a series of events rather than a deliberate choice or struggle.  

WangXian’s relationship naturally changes over time after WWX’s rebirth, but neither of them really struggles with the change. 

Xie Lian doesn’t even recognize Hua Cheng as the someone from his past, so they start out as friends getting to know each other. 

Salvation and Changing one another: 

Priest herself stated in an interview that she doesn’t believe in the concept of salvation, since people have the inner capacity to be their own savior. Therefore, priest characters usually don’t actively try to change their partner’s morals or personality. Some might be willingly influenced by their partner, but there’s rarely an element of moral condemnation. Even when there is a conflict between different values, the options are 1) to reconcile them by choosing the middle ground 2) to maintain their independence and tackle it with nuance 3) to break up.

On surface level, Mo Du/Silent Reading is about Luo Wenzhou being Fei Du’s salvation. However, as LWZ pointed out himself, Fei Du would’ve been a good person at heart with or without his influence. 

In The Defective, when Lu Bixing mistakenly thought Lin Jingheng stayed in the Eighth Galaxy against his own wishes because of their relationship, and that their priorities are irreconcilable, he even thought about breaking up. Of course he was not serious about it, but this showcased that he would never try to change LJH’s convictions. 

In SHL, however, the concept of salvation is central to the theme. Some find it strange that SHL make drama zzs the more “moral” one of the two, despite his action being more objectively questionable. In fact, the only reason he get framed as more “moral” is that he admitted his fault sooner, and therefore could guide drama wkx’s path back to salvation: to recognize the goodness in people, make peace with external world, to clear his name in Jianghu, and to follow due process with his revenge plan to avoid collateral damages. 

“I tried to change you, but you end up changing me”, said drama ZZS. This relationship dynamic is never present in any of priest’s works I’ve read. Priest characters don’t *try* to change one another. 

Does MXTX believe in salvation? Hard to tell. One could argue that Hua Cheng would have be way more amoral and even immoral if it hadn’t been for XL. This is complicated and is a topic for another time.

However, it is certain that MXTX MCs don’t condemn each other morally. “The orthodox one defending their unorthodox partner in front of the world” is a common wuxia trope, but the way MXTX novels approach it is very different from SHL. 

HuaLian never had a serious falling out about being on different sides. Even when they disagree, they respect each other and love each other exactly the way they are. Hua Cheng didn’t approve of Xie Lian saving Mu Qing, but he didn’t interfere with Xie Lian’s decision. Xie Lian feels responsible for helping Shi Qingxuan in Blackwater arc, but he is perfectly fine with HC helping He Xuan keep secrets. In several cases where they have different values, they are able to make it work with ease.

LWJ never *morally* condemned WWX for his action, and never once objected to WWX practicing demonic cultivation after his rebirth. In fact, LWJ never objected to WWX’s morals; in their previous life he was worried about his safety, and struggled with what to do about certain situations due to his family background, but difference in morality is not an issue for them. 

The “righteous” one does not feel the need to guide their unorthodox partner or to be their salvation with regards to integrity. 

*The similarity & differences part is a bit messy and some points are not fleshed-out. Sorry about that. 

**I don’t claim to have the right interpretation. The lens by which we see different styles of romance is ultimately subjective. 

[welllpthisishappening]

Welllp This Is...Holiday Fic, Version 3.0

Hello, internet! It is December, and that means it is also time to regain our festive feelings through holiday-type fic. Of which I have written just...an absurd amount of. So, before we start slamming on some more keys with inevitable cliches and kissing (and the list of prompts I’m going to post later and maybe start writing tomorrow) here is a wholly self-indulgent, self-promotional list of the copious number of holiday stories I’ve written. Under the cut, because honestly it’s ridiculous. 

Multi Chapters

To Make the Season Bright Rating: M Words: 49,683 Chapters: 5

It's just one weekend. At Christmas. In New York. With everyone there. With Killian there. It's fine. Emma doesn't mind – he's always there and she wants him to be there and it'll be good. Great, even. Festive. She's looking forward to it. She just hopes she doesn't do something stupid. Like shout feelings in his face. That probably wouldn't be very festive.

The Gift Receipt Rating: M Words: 46,244 Chapters: 5

It genuinely makes sense in her head. After all, Mary Margaret is being Mary Margaret and Emma just needs five seconds to herself and for her friends to get off her back and saying she can’t talk to Killian Jones because she and Killian Jones once went on a very bad date is the perfect excuse. It’s also not true, but whatever. It works. Until Emma needs to bring someone home for Christmas. To get the entire town off her back. So, she comes up with another plan and another lie and pretending to get back together with a guy she was never actually with will make their inevitable break-up incredibly easy. It makes sense. Seriously. That is, of course, until Killian agrees and there’s far too much pie and radio hits of the 70s and opinions on animated Christmas classics. It gets a little more complicated after that.

Older Now, But Not Done Hoping Rating: T Words: 25,577 Chapters: 3

Killian Jones has lost his festive spirit. It's been forcibly removed by corporate America and private developers and how much alcohol the customers at his bar drink every night. Although, he supposes, that means he's making a profit, but that also feels a little Scrooge-esque and he doesn't have time for visits from ghosts. Because he's suddenly got a whole schedule in front of him, written out and planned by his roommate. To reclaim their mutual and collective festivity. Together. Oh, and he's in love with her. At Christmas. And all the time, really. This is going to be great.

It’s the Thought That Counts Rating: M Words: 27, 178 Chapters: 3

It was, in theory, a good idea. It was, in theory, an absolutely fantastic idea. Because there was still, sometimes, a crisis or two in Storybrooke and nothing would be more chaotic than trying to find a Christmas present on Main Street, while also trying to keep said Christmas present a secret. Ordering gifts on the internet makes sense. It's just a few clicks and online sales and the presents will be there in plenty of time for Christmas to be perfect. Emma and Killian are positive. Except then the presents don't show up and it's Christmas Eve and plan B isn't so much a plan as it is just a bit of pre-holiday desperation and the entire town knows what they're up to.

One Shots

The Best Laid Plains Rating: T Words: 4,040

Emma knows what she wants. And she remembers what the qualifications are. She just needs some help with them. Or: She and Killian once decided they'd only get married if one of them came out with an outlandish proposal.

Following the Recipe Rating: T Words: 3,802

Emma can't bake cookies. That doesn't stop her from engaging in cookie-baking competitions. At Christmas. And Killian is more than happy to help.

Grounded Rating: T Words: 6,064

Being stuck at the airport is the worst at normal times. At Christmas, it's at least ten-thousand times worse. Unless you manage to make friends with the vaguely attractive, frustratingly charming guy sitting next to you in the terminal.

Carol of the [Wedding] Bells Rating: T Words: 7,926

Going to Vegas with your friends for Christmas? Totally normal. Getting married to one of your friends while in Vegas at Christmas? Might take a bit more explaining. Especially when neither one of you can remember it.

More Than You Could Ever Know Rating: T Words: 5,040

It’s the perfect plan. So, she told the new guy at work that she was already married and couldn’t date him. Fine, no big deal. Emma has someone more than wiling to pretend to be her husband and a friend more than willing to do her pre-party hair. She’s certain everything will work out. The very last thing she expects is for Killian to be jealous. Because she might have picked the wrong Jones brother to play doting husband.

Once Again As in Olden Days Rating: T Words: 6,462

She’s absolutely freezing cold. It’s a dumb metaphor, one that only serves to make Emma even more pissed off than she already is. Because two hours ago it was summer. But a few more hours before that, she was also locked in a tower guarded by a fire-breathing dragon. And now she’s outside. With her kid. And a pirate that isn’t hers, explicitly, but keeps staring at her like he wouldn’t mind if he was. So maybe it’s not the worst. Maybe she’ll be able to get warm eventually.

Want Something That Will Last Forever Rating: T Words: 5,093

The weight in his jacket pocket is getting heavier. Burning a hole. A metaphorical one. Because a literal one would probably freak David out and David is already worried enough and Killian is a very good friend. Who is willing to help David plan his proposal to Mary Margaret. Even if it messes everything else up in the process.

A Fair, Even-Handed, Noble Adjustment of Things Rating: T Words: 9,267

Emma just wants to do something good. Give back. Maybe get a few bonus points. Metaphorically speaking. Not the last one. That defeats the purpose of all of this. But she can’t really think straight because he keeps humming and using nicknames and stealing all the flour. And she’d give up all the bonus points she’s, maybe, accumulated by, possibly, doing good if she could just remember what his name is. This is not going the way she planned. At all.

Heart to Heart and Hand in Hand Rating: T Words: 7,052

She was cold. She was tired. She did not want to be ice skating. She wasn’t really ice skating. She was just…kind of standing there – while getting yelled at by security guards and stared at by her boyfriend and they were being pushed off the ice. Not literally. And Emma knew she was being a Grinch or, maybe, just Max the Dog because she wasn’t in control enough to be a Grinch, but Killian wanted to go ice skating and well…fake it ‘til you make it festivity, right?

Kiss Her Once [For Me] Rating: T Words: 9,500

To say that the last year has been hectic would be the greatest understatement in the history of the modern world. Or, like, libel. In print, it’s libel. Because the last year has been filled with political promises and campaigns and far more press conferences than Emma realized were possible. And now, with Washington D.C. ahead of them, the only thing Emma really wants is to figure out how many boxes she’ll need to move all her stuff. That is, of course, until Killian finds her sitting in the middle of Regina’s hallway, a distinct lack of alcohol in her system, and the guarantee that he’s got a plan. For fun. Of the festive variety. It includes mistletoe.

Prompt: Santa!Con Rating: T Words: 2,444

Killian is very drunk. There are people dressed like Santa everywhere. And Emma isn't sure she heard the question correctly. She might be a little drunk too, honestly.

Prompt: Killian Wakes Up Without Any Blankets Rating: T Words: 2,444

He's freezing. Presumably because his wife — who he loves very much — has once again stolen all the blankets.

Tripping Over the Blue Line

A Few Days Off for Christmas Rating: T Words: 11,903

Matt's first Christmas at the brownstone means several things. Chinese food. Bad bread pudding. And unexpected guests.

A Chance of Snow Showers Rating: T Words: 3,372

Everything's a competition on this team. So no one is all that surprised when Killian agrees to race during family skate. Even with a baby strapped to his chest.

Dropping Gloves...In the Name of Festive Fashion Rating: T Words: 3,038

It’s probably one of the more ridiculous things any of them have ever done. It’s also one of the better ideas any of them has ever had – it’s festive and in the spirit and the fans will love it. And maybe it’s kind of fun because it ends with another win and some positive press before the break and Phillip’s jacket is really just…a work of fashion art.

All Knotted Up Rating: T Words: 2,188

He’s never actually done anything like this – brought a girl home for Christmas. No, not just a girl – Emma. Emma was coming to the brownstone for Christmas and the entire Vankald family would be there with traditions and bread pudding and there had to be gifts.

He needed to buy a gift. Or, at least, get a gift. And the list of people who wouldn’t laugh right in his face at the idea of Killian Jones, captain of the New York Rangers, freaking out about that was growing more and more slim by the minute.

We’ll Take a Cup [Defense] Of Kindness Rating: M Words: 19,204 Chapters: 2

It's one night. New Year's Eve. And a whole list of rules. Because Regina might have actually lost her mind. Or maybe that's just Emma. Because they've played a million games in two days, or it's at least felt that way, and planning an outdoor practice a few weeks before the Olympics seemed like a good idea at one point. Now it just seems insane. So she's going to wear this dress and kiss her boyfriend. A lot. He's good. Better than good. Great. The greatest. It's New Year's Day and, yeah, sure it's freezing, but Killian hasn't actually tried to push Scarlet on the Subway tracks yet so that seems like a step in the right direction. So he's a little distracted a few weeks before the Olympics, but that's fine. It's good. Or it'll be good. Eventually. Soon. In the meantime he's probably just going to kiss his girlfriend. A lot.

First Line Center Rating: T Words: 9,508 Chapters: 2

She hadn’t read the invitation. It hadn’t changed in years, after all - a set of rules and expectations for a New Year’s party that they were all going to break anyway because the most traditional thing about this team was flouting tradition. So, Emma had mostly ignored it. Until. A shout and Killian refusing to wear a tie and something crashing in her kitchen, one kid worried about another and she couldn’t shake the feeling that she was missing something. There was a joke about fresh ice to be made, she was sure.

[la-fille-en-aiguilles]

Blackout | Random One-Shot Series, #2

Billy Russo x Female Reader

Second Billy Russo one-shot featuring one nasty citywide blackout. But really, it’s just a matter of perspective. 

Warnings: S.M.U.T., language.

Synopsis:  What happens when a major blackout hits the city of New York, and you find yourself stuck with Billy goddamn Russo in an elevator, your least favorite person under the sun? Well, you’re about to find out. 

Feeling cold winter wind bite at the bare skin of your calves, you mentally curse yourself for zapping that pair of tights, now peacefully resting at your place on the kitchen table. Pacing back and forth in front of a posh building, gleamed with secretive whispers of for-glamorous-crowd-only, you keep squeezing your phone, waiting on Karen to show up with a fervency of a Christian awaiting for the second coming of Christ.

Oddly enough, the metaphor quite fits: through the glass doors of the apartment complex you make out polished wood floors of a foyer that could accommodate hell of a lot of sinners and a graceful mirror-like doors of an elevator that probably go all the way to heaven. 

Why Karen has chosen this 12,000-square-foot executive lifestyle hub, a dramatic and tasteless atrocity, to hold Frank’s surprise birthday party is beyond your understanding. Even though you only arrived ten minutes ago you already miss your loft in Brooklyn, where everything feels warm, spacious and familiar. 

Karen is running late, but what else is new. As much as you want to help her with the finishing touches, there is no way in hell you’re going up there all alone. You frown as you wonder for a second if there are already people up at Billy Russo’s penthouse quarters, because you’d rather freeze to death than find yourself one on one with the man. It’s been so long it has become a running inside joke among your close circle of friends - with you and Billy locked in the same room, the only way either of you is getting out is in a body bag.

Still, despite of their big mouths, you love your friends. So you make an effort to care about almost everything and everyone they hold dear. 

There are, of course, exceptions. Tired of waiting outside in the cold, with a deep sigh, you enter the building. After a brief hesitation, you force yourself to push the elevator button and once it arrives, you step inside, inhaling a pleasant, sugary smell. Even if no one has arrived yet – in New York people tend to be late, just to make everyone think they have a life – you’d simply make yourself scarce and hide out in Russo’s bathroom until Karen or Curtis finally decide to show. 

Just when the doors of the elevator are about to slide shut, a deep, raw voice calls out to you : 

“Could you hold the doors for me please?...”

Driven by the sense of civic duty and by sheer curiosity, you press the necessary button. Little do you know, one look at the man’s face would make you want to singlehandedly shut them if needed, with his head smashed in between, his brain leaking out his ears and onto the floors. 

Here he is. Your almost everyone. Your exception.

The first thing you see is, of course, his toned chest, wrapped in a neat white shirt that probably costs more than this goddamn building, and a hell of a don’t-fuck-with-me attitude. His eyes, deep bottomless black oceans with glimmering flakes of ice, narrow as soon as he spots you, the muscles in his strong jaw chiseling. 

“Y/L/N,” he breathes out in a badly masked annoyance, as he stumbles into the elevator, nearly slamming his right shoulder into your frame.

“Russo,” you retort, rolling your eyes. Out of all people attending the goddamn party, it’s with The fucking Pretty Boy that you somehow happen to share the elevator ride.  

The last thing you want is to deal with Russo’s narcissistic antics and inferiority complex. The last time you crossed paths with him, you ended up bitching at each other for thirty minutes straight, making nasty side comments to each other until the all-American self-made jerk has finally crossed a line and you smashed a huge chunk of Curtis’ birthday cake into his face. 

So yeah, Russo and you aren’t exactly buddies. And you remember exactly why. 

“Aren’t you a ray of sunshine today,” surprised at the fact that Russo dares to attempt a small talk, you turn to stare at him blankly, second guessing how exactly he is expecting you to react. 

Russo meets your gaze head-on, his eyes nearly begging you to start an argument. 

Geez, you’re taken somewhat aback. Someone’s got their panties in a twist. 

Your last chance to escape a long, torturous ride with the person you dislike most in the world goes out the window just as the doors of the elevator finally slide close.  

“I was before you showed your face,” you fire back after sizing him up and turning away. From the corner of your eyes you notice Russo’s expression, like someone has just shit on his face. 

“If youl keep looking at me like that the lunch in my stomach will turn sour”, you add, your eyes stubbornly fixed on the glowing numbers above the doors. 

3 – 4 – 5…. 

Russo huffs contemptuously at your comeback, hatred that his body’s emanating hitting you in nauseating waves. 

“Charming, as usual,” Billy states bitterly, showing mercy for your lunch for some reason and immediately looking away. Choosing to ignore whatever his problem is with you today, you fish your iPhone out of the Balenciaga bag, wanting to check whether Karen has shown any sign of being alive. Lightening up the dim screen and steadily fighting your desire to spit in Russo’s face with a booming Fuck Off!, you dial Page’s number, silently begging her to pick up. 

“Hey, Y/N. What’s up?” Karen answers on the fifth beep, her voice a little too thin, betraying an emotion you can’t quite place. Page quickly clears her throat before continuing. “You’re….uh…. You’re at the party yet?”

“Hey to you too,” you raise an eyebrow in suspicion, worry digging a hole in your lower stomach. “So you’re not yet at the rave that you’re yourself throwing?... Classy, ” your eyes still glued to the switching numbers, you try to ignore the way your skin ripples, feeling Russo’s eyes piercing through your head. Surprised at your own angst, you squeeze your eyes shut and try to ignore the jerk’s presence entirely. 

“Gee, I take it you stumbled into Russo,” Karen’s guess seems all too perfect, and you give Billy a suspicious side look. “I asked him to go fetch candles for the cake because I am already late as it is... I sure as hell hope he did not invite any bimbos to the party tonight, because I know how much you…”

“…thank you, Karen, you’ve made your point!” you blurt out as you try to contain the blush you know is spreading across your cheeks. Every time Karen speaks, she’s loud and confident - there is no doubt Russo heard every single word. “Listen, we’re in the elevator, I’ll shoot you a text when we’re….”

…at his place. The words never leave your lips. What you do let out is a yelp when your entire body jerks, the world spinning before your eyes. Your iPhone falls flat on the floor as the elevator comes to an abrupt stop, the building’s lights all going out simultaneously just as you lose your balance. When you’re about to fall back on the cold and dirty floors, you vaguely register strong hands snake around your waist, keeping you in place. It all happens in what feels like a millisecond, smooth and so frustratingly natural, that without even thinking twice about it, you go with a flow. Back in the vertical position, you blink rapidly as a few emergency lights turn on, casting a dim glow on the confined elevator space and your palms, pressed against Russo’s rock-hard, lean chest. 

His scent immediately engulfs you, a subtle mix of oud and hickory spices, and you suddenly realize you’ve only been this close before once, save for the moment you smudged a piece of cake all over his face. 

As you catch on Karen’s distressed voice, coming from the phones’ speaker, you fight off the butterflies fluttering in her stomach. As soon as they’re dealt with, you use your hands to push away from Russo’s dangerously enticing body, uncomfortable with the thoughts that circle around in your head. 

And just like that, whatever it was that you shared just for a second, this moment, is gone. You pick up your phone, pressing it against your ear, as Billy backs himself against the wall, groaning and facepalming at the same time, the reality only starting to hit him from the looks of it. 

“Guys? Helloooo? What the hell happened?!” Karen’s voice comes and goes, the service shitty on whatever floor you’ve stuck.

“Karen!” you exclaim, low key panicking. “Hey, Karen, we’re alright, we’re just stuck in the goddamn elevator!”

You press your free hand against the other ear in an attempt to hear Page better. 

“She can’t do anything,” you flash Russo an irritated look, ignoring his words. 

“Okay, listen you two, I’m going to call the building’s security or the fire department or whatever so they can try and get you out before you bite each other’s heads off. Meanwhile, I suggest that you sort out whatever the hell is going on between you two, because I won’t be held responsible for two deaths when I barely had time to enjoy my relationship with Frank. Understood?” 

Something in Karen’s tone makes the horror of the situation finally dawn on you. 

“Fuck,” you groan, running fingers through your messed up hair. You can almost swear you hear Russo echo your words. “Yeah alright, it isn’t like we have much of choice anyway. I’ll see you later then,” you say before giving Russo one of your trademark glares. “If I’m not behind bars for a homicide by the time help arrives”. 

“Don’t worry”, Karen responds rather cheerfully. “I’ll bail your ass out.”

As soon as the call ends, heavy silence settles in, so thick you could cut it with a butter knife. 

“Do you think the dynamic duo planned it?” Russo finally speaks, referring to Karen and Frank, without any doubt, as he leans against the wall and crosses his strong arms across his chest. 

“Sure, they planned a fucking blackout. Your denseness never ceases to amaze, Russo”. 

Upon the hearing of your unceremonious comment, Billy narrows his eyes, watching you, sporting a glower fierce enough to put the fear of God in anyone. 

This is sure going to be a long wait. 

******

The silence in the elevator is deafening. It’s so quiet, Billy swears he can hear the dust move in whirls, its thin layers disturbed by your heavy and impatient breathing. With your cheeks red and your eyes darting all over the elevator, you breathe in and out. It probably takes every once of your self-control not to grab him by his hair and smash his head against the elevator panel, repeatedly, till the fucking thing can function again. 

Billy watches you fume silently in your corner, the question he’s been asking himself for ages threatening to fall off his tongue. 

He hears you sigh again, as you wipe tiny beads of sweat from your forehead, and he knows. He just knows that this is his chance to get some answers. Actually, he couldn’t have found a more convenient time and place to demand some kind of an explanation from you – at least, now, you have nowhere to run. 

“Why do you hate me so much, Y/L/N?” Russo’s voice cuts the silence like an nuclear bomb going off. He can feel your entire body shudder as you turn your head in his direction, your eyes widening a bit, as if you’ve just acknowledged he was here the entire time. 

Billy knows exactly what to expect from you, and as you confirm his expectations, he starts to regret his attempt at a heart-to-heart talk with you.

You roll your eyes before crossing your hands over your chest, your stare blank but determined. 

“Please,” you huff, “I don’t hate you, Russo. Hating is exhausting”.

“Exactly,” Billy picks up almost immediately after you’re finished talking. “Why waste all that energy?”

You look at him, chomping on your lips in annoyance. 

“I said I don’t hate you,” you repeat stubbornly. “In order to hate you I’d have to be emotionally invested. And I’m not. If you must know, you’re an asshole, and it’s just that I have zero tolerance for assholes”.

For some reason, your answer makes Billy chuckle quite heartily, as he turns away and slides down the elevator wall to sit on his ass. Spreading his legs some, he stretches his long arms and puts them on top of his knees, his head pressed against the cool wall. 

“Something funny?” still standing, you narrow your eyes at him.

Russo bites on his lips in order to keep his outburst of emotion in, and shakes his head, like you’re hopeless and he’s done with you. This makes your blood boil in your veins. 

Arrogant little fucker.

“If you have something to say, just say it,” your tone is dismissive and calm for the most part, but it suffices to wipe the smirk from Russo’s face. 

“Why bother?” he asks bitterly, his black eyes sparkling in the red light. “You probably have your head filled with bitchy comebacks that you’ve been preparing for this kind of situation. I’d rather you keep your mouth shut and we spend time stuck in this hot box in silence”. 

Before you even realize it, you push off the wall of the elevator, your eyes blazing.

“Excuse me?” you hiss. “You are the one asking me to fucking talk! And when I do, you’re surprised that I actually have balls to tell you the truth, unlike all those Barbie bitches you spend your time with, getting off at the sound of them saying how awesome you are”. 

Russo’s jaw drops open slightly. He definitely didn’t expect you to push back, but he should have known better by now.

A real Ballbuster, aren’t you?

“So this is why you’re always such a bitch to me,” Billy feigns revelation, his lips stretched in what can only be described as a devilish grin. “Is this because of that night in New York two years ago? When you had to ruin everything, without even telling me what the fuck was wrong?”

The way you watch him, unblinking, biting the inside of your cheek lets Billy know he has just hit a nail on the head. He doesn’t know what he’s expected from you, but it definitely wasn’t nothing; and that is exactly what he’s faced with.

You don’t speak. You blink a couple of times, hanging on to your composure, probably even mentally counting to ten... For a moment there, Billy thinks you really are going to kick him in the balls and thus justify the nickname that he’s long since given you. 

But it’s like you don’t even see him anymore. Turning your entire body away from him, you stare at the closed doors, peeling off your jacket, hot leather sticking to your arms. 

Billy’s watching your every move, taking in your body slowly and you can’t help but feel exposed – vulnerable. When his eyes meet yours, he asks:

“Why?”

His voice is stern, yet calm, and you bite on the bottom lip, your stomach churning. 

Both of you know exactly what he’s talking about. 

“It’s not important,” you finally speak, your voice steadier than you thought it’d be. “No one gives a damn anymore”. 

“I do”, Billy’s voice rolls over you like thunder, your skin tingling at the sound. “I give a damn. If it wasn’t important, you wouldn’t take every opportunity to chew me the fuck out when I’m around”. 

He stands up in one gracious move, and makes a couple of steps in your direction, closing the space between the two of you. The smell of his cologne hits your nostrils again as he finally rests one of his arms on the wall behind you. 

Staring into his pitch black irises, you still hold your ground, not moving an inch. 

“What did I do?” Billy whispers, his lips itching closer to your face. 

“What didn’t you do!” you throw both of your hands in the air, making Russo back off instinctively. Your mind is reeling, and you suddenly realize that all the shit you’ve had brewing inside of your head because of Russo for so long has got to spill out. You’re a bit surprised when you see a flash of relief momentarily grace Billy’s stare, but you brush the thought away quickly. 

He wants to know why you hate him, well, the fucker is about to find out. 

Billy watches you in what can only be described as an awe as you push towards him, until it’s his turn to back right into the wall. He’s about to ask what the hell do you think you’re doing, but the question is caught in his throat when you start to yell, finally letting go of all the anger you had bubbling inside for so long.

“How fucking dare you pretend like this is all some huge surprise to you?”, you’re full-on screaming now, and tears are ringing in your voice. “I thought we shared something that evening. I loved spending time with you on the roof, after everyone’s left! And I made it pretty fucking clear that night that I wanted you. I fucking told you so. I was waiting for your ass for hours, and a fucking prick that you are, I shouldn’t have been surprised to see you suck Madani’s face off the next day at the Homeland’s!”

God knows that this is a fucked-up situation. And as twisted as it is, your anger stirs something inside of Billy, causing his blood to flow south, straight to his groin. 

“Have you any fucking idea what that felt like, with Madani and the others talking behind my back, the girl who was ready to spread her legs in front of Billy fucking Russo, and he didn’t even bother to take what was offered? Of course you don’t, because you didn’t give a shit. You barely looked at me, let alone spoke to me for the last two years, and now you dare asking me what did you do?!”

“You are insane”, Billy can’t help the harshness in his tone as he hears your ridiculous lies. As the words leave his mouth, he instantly regrets them, but the damage’s done. You turn your head away from him, hugging yourself, ashamed of the tears slowly rolling down your cheeks. 

“I don’t understand,” he runs his fingers through his hair in desperation. 

“Of course you don’t,” you huff, and quickly wipe your tear-stained cheeks. “You are so used to everything being offered to you.”

“Not everything”, Billy bites back, feeling irritated and helpless, because he is just so confused. “I texted you that night after you left the party telling you how much I, too, loved spending time with you. I even asked you out on a date for breakfast next morning. You never fucking answered.” 

You stare at him like he’s grown a penis on his forehead. 

“Were you that drunk?” you let out a bitter laugh. “I told you I’d have loved to, and I said that we could order in, and gave you my fucking address! Drop the fucking surprised act, Russo, you wrote me you were coming over! And of course you never showed. You left me feeling like a stupid whore, more so when I saw you kissing Madani on the steps of the Homeland Security next morning, out of all people!”

Confused expression slowly fades from Billy’s face. Something clicks in his head, and he looks like he’s finally assembling a puzzle on which he’s been working for quite some time. 

“I’ve never gotten your texts. I checked twice that night… After Frankie brought my phone that I left at the bar, where Curtis, him and a couple of my Anvil guys were playing poker after the party…”

Silence is tense, and you can hear your ragged breaths join in an odd kind-of harmony.

“...Madani was with them, wasn’t she?” your voice is barely a whisper, when you finally figure it out.

“And Madani was there with them, yeah”, Billy repeats, still struck. “Unbelievable. The bitch hacked my phone.”

How dared she take his phone and violate his privacy like that? How fucking dared she meddle with something so important to him?

The next twenty minutes pass by slowly, the only sound coming from the confusion within the building. Both Billy and you don’t speak, letting this new discovery sink in, before he finally breaks and says: 

“I’m an asshole.”

You look at him questioningly, and he can tell you're distancing yourself from him. 

“I just saw you laughing with Curtis that morning when you showed up at Homeland, you looked so happy, and you didn’t even look at me, I was… hurt,” he confesses, staring into the ceiling. “I acted like a goddamn fool, and for that I am sorry”. 

“It’s fine,” you answer almost immediately, avoiding his gaze. “Whatever. What’s done is done. It’s been two years, I honestly couldn’t care less”. 

And there it is. Billy can see it now. The mask you wear whenever he enters the room. He isn’t going to buy it, not this time, when he’s finally gotten you to let your guard down a little, when you’ve finally admitted how hurt you were… When you’ve finally admitted you cared, for this entire time. 

“You’re lying”, you shiver as Billy reaches out, his hands sliding up your arm, until his fingers grip your elbow. He manages to draw you closer to him, his mouth nearly caressing your ear as he whispers the words to you. 

When you turn your head, ever so slightly, you catch his black eyes that burn into yours, and the rough grip of his fingers tightens on your hipbones. 

How…? For how long has he been touching you like that?

When Billy’s name escapes your lips, it comes out in a breath, your tongue and lips caressing every syllable. 

“I’ve been tortured for two years, thinking about how my name will sound falling off your lips,” Billy whispers, his eyes drinking in every detail of your face. “The way your pulse goes crazy when I touch you like that,” his lips hover over a sensitive spot next to your jawline as he speaks, “tells me you don’t mean it. Tells me that you care.” 

Billy’s lips press against the tender beating just below your ear, and the sensation is overwhelming. You moan involuntary, as your skin catches fire, your hips bucking into his. 

“I want it slow,” he says, his voice hoarse, but his hungry hands, running down your sides and squeezing your ass, tell another story entirely. “I want you to feel just what you have been missing”. 

Heat pools in between your thighs in answer to his words, bare millimetres separating your lips. You take a second to look into Billy’s eyes, glassy, his irises so dark they’re indistinct… Burning rooms filled with dense smoke. 

Billy meets your lips halfway, soft, full and demanding. He slips his tongue into your mouth, eliciting a moan from you, that he swallows greedily. His hands fist your hair, as he deepens the kiss, biting on your bottom lip. 

It’s a feverish and emotional kiss, and Billy could pass out from the relief of feeling your mouth on his. He even fucking dreamed about this moment. Granted, in his mind this was never happening during a citywide blackout in an elevator, but it wasn’t as powerful as it feels right now, either. 

He takes in every movement of your tongue, massaging his, every gasp falling off your swollen, reddened lips, and he’s so hard his pants might fucking split. The things get worse when you wrap your hands around his neck, your bodies pressed to each other in all the right places. Billy growls, something animalistic in the way he moves, when he grabs your hips again and lifts you up, pinning you to the wall. 

The friction that results from your movements makes both of you moan, and you are suddenly glad you didn’t put that pair of tights on. Billy’s calloused hands slide up your thighs, your dress a mop of chiffon around your waist. When he presses one of his thumbs to that pulsating spot in between your legs, you swear under your breath; then he pushes your lingerie out of the way and draws circles on and around that swollen bud, making you whimper and bite his bottom lip so rough it surely must hurt. 

“Please, Billy,” you gasp, and dig your nails in the back of his neck. 

“Please what?” he asks, his breath hitting your collarbone. 

When you don’t speak, grinding your hips on him, Billy growls again. 

“You want me to fuck you raw, is that it?” your eyes go wide at his words, but your thighs part further. “I know, baby, I want that too. I need to feel you”. 

Pressing your body into the elevator wall with his weight, Billy makes short work of his pants, letting them slide down his thighs. Quickly slipping a condom out of the pocket of his dark grey number, he tears the foil packet and rolls the latex on himself. Then he guides you gently as you lower yourself onto him, and you both gasp at the contact. 

He bucks his hips to meet yours, and the feeling is exquisite. Billy cups your ass in his large hands, pushing his cock deeper inside of you, and your mind is reeling, as his mouth sucks on your neck so hard it’s sure going to leave a mark.

Billy circles his hips slowly in an attempt to find that spot, the one that will have you screaming his name in seconds. He nearly makes himself tear his gaze away from your chest, beads of sweat rolling in between your breasts. The shape of them is fucking perfect. 

Your nails dig harder into his neck and that how he knows he found the spot he’s been searching for. His thrusting speeds up, and he can’t help but curse as your back arches into him. Your lips bite into his as you come undone, muffling your screams of pleasure. 

Two more thrusts, as deep as they would go, and Billy moans, spilling into the condom. 

Both of you are a panting mess, as you press your foreheads together. This is the moment the steady white light chooses to suddenly flick on. 

“Right on time,” you whisper against his lips. You smirk at each other, and moments later it���s a full-blown laugh. 

Letting you slide off him smoothly, Billy can’t stop picturing the way your body looked, pressed against his, as he wraps his silk handkerchief around the used condom and tucks it into one of the pocket of his trousers. He buckles his belt, never looking away. As you smile at him adjusting your dress, he cups your face and smashes his lips into yours, letting them linger.

Thank God for the fucking blackout, he thinks, lacing your fingers together, facing the elevator doors again. He turns his head to you though, because he can’t help the urge to stare at you, admire how beautiful you look with your wild eyes and smudged lipstick, still wearing the heat from his kisses and that rumpled dress…

Thank you for reading! Feedback and other blackout-related ideas are appreciated! 

[floatingcatacombs]

Evaluting Gatchaman Crowds Through Rui’s Outfits

12 Days of Aniblogging 2020, Day 1

Oh, I’m fashionably late to this one. Gatchaman Crowds is a 2013 superhero anime that serves as a soft reboot of the old tokusatsu franchise, only now with 21st century shitty anime tropes. From this painfully generic setup emerges a surprisingly layered evaluation of technological disruption in the smartphone era. For this reason, Crowds is a favorite amongst anime bloggers as a superhero work that’s actually trying to do something interesting.

Unfortunately I don’t care about any of these guys

But it’s also a favorite amongst all sorts of weirdos because of the character Rui Ninomiya. A horrifying amalgamation of the technolibertarian CEO and trans femme hacker archetypes, Rui is by far the most interesting character in the show, because they’re a surprisingly prescient look at how the tech industry will function throughout the 2010s. But they’re also a ‘boy’ who never leaves their house without dressing in the most girly clothes imaginable. Predictably, this is catnip for me. But the funniest part of the whole situation is that nobody ever addresses it. Rui never provides an explanation for their outfits and the rest of the cast just uses she/her until they properly get acquainted and switch to he/him.

I could tell you that Rui’s obviously trans and wrap up the post right there, but that’s honestly not the most interesting angle of attack here. So I’m just going to use whatever pronouns I feel like in the moment for them and focus on what really matters: fashion! Rui has a surprisingly large wardrobe throughout the show, so I’ll be doing the heavy lifting of ranking each of her outfits. Oh, and also maybe a little analysis of what she represents. Spoilers for the whole show, of course.

7. The Yellow Dress

Let me lay out Rui’s ideology before I lay into their fashion disaster. You see, they’re a tech disruptor who believes that governments and bureaucracies are too slow to achieve the monumental (yet unspecified) change that society needs. So, they preside over a smartphone app called GALAX that successfully predicts Pokemon Go’s geosocial AR gimmick three years early. GALAX is a technolibertarian’s wet dream – crowdsourced emergency response, interest-based meetups, and matchmaking for people who need specific help and the people who can help them, all deeply gamified.

Their outfit here is about as messy as their politics, but at the same time, what a look. She’s got blue-and-white-striped programming thigh highs on under her combat boots, which are both such trans iconography, you know? While they may just be a reflection of early-2010s 4chan crossdressing culture, it’s also totally possible that Rui directly influenced or reinforced trans girl fashion, like the accelerationist she is. What a prescient show, in all sorts of weird ways.

6. Lace-up Dress with Bunny Ears

It wouldn’t be an anime girl cosplay without some bunny ears, now would it? Rui spends 5 minutes in an early episode just wandering around the city in this outfit, listening to people’s conversations and feelings on GALAX. There’s something very funny about how nobody even notices them, like they’re completely invisible despite their ridiculous outfit. This actually factors back into the tech stuff! Like pretty much every tech company, Rui’s app and vision are both sleek and shiny but rely on tremendous amounts of dirty labor kept as hidden as possible. From Amazon’s inhumane warehouse conditions to Facebook’s trauma-inducing moderator farms to Apple’s child labor-tainted supply chains, there’s always suffering humans behind the too-good-to-be-true magic of tech companies. Rui’s lie by omission is failing to mention that the app relies on invisible extradimensional beings called CROWDS that are manually controlled by underpaid workers to assist its users. One of the workers comes to Rui challenging their vision and arguing that they should be sharing this tech with the movers and shakers of the world, not trying to keep it invisible. He threatens a collective walkout and Rui fires him. At this point, we’re not even operating on metaphors.

5. Green Business Casual

Sure, most tech companies have cruel labor underbellies, but there’s also the separate risk of moral rot. It’s what causes Microsoft to take on ICE contracts and Google to develop censored versions of their search engine at the whims of authoritarians. Many tech companies start off with an altruistic message, but without a serious ethical core, they will start doing a whole lot of evil as they bend to financial and other pressures. Rui’s version of this is extremely literal: she made a deal with the devil to gain the ability to use the CROWDS and launch her app. Except this devil is also a butch gender-noncomforming alien (there is a Lot of other gender going on in this show that I don’t even have time for) and the two of them seem to have an extremely fucked-up relationship. Like any good Faustian bargain or any bad attempt at raising more venture capital without a viable business model, eventually the whole thing comes tumbling down and now you’re doing something terribly fucked up. Rui looks good in a dress shirt, at least!

4. Whatever your abusive partner puts on when she body-snatches you

Of course the center won’t hold, GALAX is subject to a hostile takeover, and to nobody’s surprise, an app with the flimsy promise to change the world for the better can actually be way better at ripping it all apart. I guess the prescient social media parallel here is Facebook being used to propagate Myanmar’s ethnic cleansing, or really anything related to Twitter for the last 5 years. FuckedUpAlienMimic!Rui sure does have cute fangs and a way more refined fashion sense though. I don’t feel like looking into that one.

3. Business....Futch?

I know I’m not done outlining Rui’s arc, but I’m going to skip ahead for a moment to say that Gatchaman Crowds also has a second season! I’m largely ignoring it here because Rui is pretty much stripped of all plot relevance and most of her outfits are less exciting, but I had to include this one. For two episodes, she puts on bright yellow stirrup leggings and an oversized polo shirt, with a cute ponytail to boot. It’s a ridiculous look, but still feels really evocative to me. Sometimes a girl just has to put together completely uncoordinated outfits and see what happens.

Unlike the disruption-focused first season, Gatchaman Crowds season two, which aired in 2015, is about how unfettered technolibertarianism can easily descend into fascism. Goddammit.

2. The Bunny Ears Outfit Again Oh God Who Hurt Her

The weight of the world comes crashing down in Rui’s hands, she’s bruised and beaten in a surprisingly sadistic manner by her alien ex-business partner/girlfriend, and she’s locked out of her own company which is very quickly causing society to fall apart. So what does she do? She puts the bunny dress back on, and wanders the streets again until she has to call upon the powers that be to fix her own mess. It’s silly that the powers that be in this world are superheroes, but I bet you forgot that this was technically a superhero show at this point. Anyways, my extended metaphor is quickly drifting off course, but I guess this is the part where Rui gets grilled by Congress and slapped with an antitrust case.

1. Every Trans Girl Stereotype Rolled Into One

I’ve been incredibly harsh on Rui throughout this writeup, because I’m harsh on the industry she represents, but I’ll make it up with this section. Look at what she’s wearing! A choker, the gothiest Hot Topic dress imaginable, arm warmers, no less than three asymmetric garters not even holding up anything, and the tallest black boots she could find. It’s incredible! If the first outfit on this list was hinting at her relationship to stereotypical trans fashion, then this outfit just screams it. It’s the perfect goth femme hacker look, a style commitment I have no choice but to respect.

Gatchaman is a weird show. After spending most of its runtime thoroughly dunking on tech disruptors for being too optimistic and uncritical, it takes a last-minute turn into Lockean state of nature arguments. It settles on “the masses are inherently good enough that empowering people through technology shouldn’t ever be a problem”, ignoring all the suffering that happened due to Rui’s unwillingness to curate their own technology. I’d give Gatchaman Crowds an average rating, but it’s one of those interesting average ratings where instead of being milquetoast, they tried something and failed and wrote themselves into a corner. But hey, at least there’s an interestingly gendered character!

[count-v-dracula]

POST 3-5 SONGS THAT REMIND YOU OF YOUR MUSE. REPOST, DON’T REBLOG.

† Hail to the King - Avenged Sevenfold

This song reminds me of mortal Vlad. He was a “pain in the butt” to many nations/principalities/empires because how he, unlike his predecessors, did not play “nice” with the enemy by paying tribute and thus allow them free access to his homelands. It was his way or pay in blood. 

† Shepherd of Fire - Avenged Sevenfold

Let’s take a moment and break the ice So my intentions are known See I pity in watching you suffer I know the feeling of feeling of being damned alone I got a storybook of my own

If this isn’t a Vlad-vibing song then I don’t know what is. I often refer to Vlad in my writing as a false shepherd to mankind/victims, kinda like how Christ is a shepherd to his followers, just putting a dark spin on the Biblical metaphor. Pretty much every lyric of this song is Vlad-vibing.

† The Devil - Michael Mott (performed by Sierra Boggess)

Ahh! This one I actually had playing on my blog page when I used to know how to code music players into a theme.  Another song that the lyrics fit Vlad perfectly.

Oh the devil Is ferocious He is gracious, charming and kind And I won't reveal What he must conceal With the mask he is hiding behind

† Seize the Night - Meatloaf

This is a GORGEOUS song. The opening is a magnificent orchestral overture that oozes Vlad vibes. Very dramatic, lots of low brass, cymbal crashes, balanced with strings that have a lighter melody then get darker near the end and more menacing sounding. Don’t tell me that is not Vlad vibing in the opening. Also, the lyrics are just PERFECT AND have some Latin that scream Vlad, because of his religious upbringing.

You gotta curse the day: it's nothing but a merciless light So open up your arms and then you get down on your knees You suck in all the darkness and you're ready now to seize Seize the night Seize the night Dies irae, Kyrie! Libera me, Domine Dies irae, Kyrie! Requiem da, Domine Dies irae, Kyrie! Libera me, Domine Dies irae, Kyrie! Requiem da, Domine

† Pain - Three Days Grace

Another song that is perfect for Vlad. I have mentioned in headcanons that Vlad craves physical touch and will sometimes self-harm at very low points since he has only phantom memories of love and those more positive feelings/emotions. And the “anger and agony are better than misery” line? TOTALLY HIM.

Pain without love Pain, I can't get enough Pain, I like it rough 'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Anger and agony are better than misery Trust me, I've got a plan When the lights go up, you'll understand

† **Bonus** In Darkness Let Me Dwell - John Dowland

This song fits his more somber and melancholy moods.

In darkness let me dwell; the ground shall sorrow be, The roof despair, to bar all cheerful light from me; The walls of marble black, that moist'ned still shall weep; My music, hellish jarring sounds, to banish friendly sleep. Thus, wedded to my woes, and bedded in my tomb, O let me living die, till death doth come, till death doth come. 

tagged by: @vyrulent (thanks ♥) tagging: @fanatiquee, @deromanum, @desanctii, @harkcr, @aspecialprovidence, @astridnorddottir, @adara-of-the-flame, @qceensofkings, @spirit-of-vengeance, @hxllion, @caravaggiovagabond, @thepiratehunter, @xthesparequeen, @lgendry, @thxwxlf, @claudiaindarkness , @amelthebravennian and everyone else!!!

[seaofthesoul]

I was tagged by @strawberrylight to answer a few questions that dig a little deeper, thank you ily dshfgs 😚💕🌻

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen?

Mmm don’t have a particular preference for either

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or in the city?

An in-between? Big cities overwhelm me and the country bores me - for me the perfect balance would be a quiet location close to nature, either in or on the outskirts of a small-ish city ✨

3. If you could learn a new skill, what would it be?

It’s impossible to only pick one! Most of all I’d like to know even more languages and writing systems (including all the ones coined by Tolkien), become an expert at shooting the bow, get back to doing fencing, and learn to play the drums and the cello/double bass 😍🙏

4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar?

I only drink tea, and nope, never!

5. What was your favourite book as a child?

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, which I read eight or nine times as a child sdgfs ⚡️

6. Do you prefer baths or showers?

I rarely ever take baths but find them more relaxing and satisfying than showers

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be?

How do you expect me to choose when I obv wanna be all of them??? 😩😭 In terms of what fits me best, maybe a wood fae/fairy/sprite - and if specific fantasy worlds are allowed, a hobbit in Middle-earth and a sea witch in the Continent 🍃

8. Paper or electronic books?

Paper books for sure!

9. What is your favourite item of clothing?

My black TPWK hoodie 🖤

10. Do you like your name? Would you like to change it?

I like it and defo wouldn’t change it 😊 It comes from Robin Hood and exists in some variation in many different languages, which I find brilliant :’)

11. Who is a mentor to you?

Mmmm probably my closest friends bc I look up to them and value their judgement so much 💞

12. Would you like to be famous? If so, what for?

Nope hahaha, too much stress and pressure 🙈

13. Are you a restless sleeper?

Unfortunately yes rip

14. Do you consider yourself to be a romantic person?

Omg I’m probably the most romantic, cheesy and extra person you’ll find out there shfgsd 😂

15. Which element best represents you?

Water 🌊

16. Who do you want to be closer to?

Physically - my friends who live abroad 😭 Metaphorically - it’s homophobic that I’m not besties with ot5 and Henry Cavill 💔

17. Do you miss someone at the moment?

My friends from Norway in particular, and yesterday night I dreamt about my German host mum so I’m missing her a lot today :(

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory.

I remember playing lava and recording radio shows/podcasts on cassettes with one of my sisters 🌸

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten?

No idea haha

20. What are you most thankful for?

The love in my life, and the fact that I’ve been able to live my dream of travelling for the past ten years or so 💖💖

21. Do you like spicy food?

My nose starts running and I lowkey die when it’s very spicy sdhfs (typical weak white person behaviour lmao), but I do like when it’s just a little spicy 🙈

22. Have you ever met someone famous?

Quite a few, yes! Was VIP at a Tokio Hotel show, got autographs from Simple Plan and All-American Rejects, etc. Not sure it counts as ‘meeting,’ but I also passed some of the guys from Avenged Sevenfold on the street in Montréal once 😌

23. Do you keep a diary or journal?

I’ve tried many times but always end up giving up after a while bc it’s too time-consuming and I can’t be bothered rip

24. Do you prefer to use pen or pencil?

Mmm maybe pen?

25. What is your star sign?

Cancer ♋️

26. Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy?

CRUNCHY OMG, pls take soggy cereal away from me 😳

27. What would you want your legacy to be?

Warmth, love and kindness 🌻

28. Do you like reading? What was the last book you read?

I studied literature for five years - does that answer the first question? haha 😅 Last book I read was Andrzej Sapkowski’s Sword of Destiny sdhfgs and it broke me so bad I haven’t been able to read anything else since sdgfs bye 

29. How do you show someone you love them?

I check up on them, send them stuff that reminds me of them, make time for them, share the stuff I’m interested in with them and create a good environment for them to do the same, etc. 💕

30. Do you like ice in your drinks?

Yes

31. What are you afraid of?

Pain and loneliness 

32. What is your favourite scent?

My cat’s smell 😭💗

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname?

Surname, unless we’re family / well acquainted (but I’m gonna have to change that habit when I live in Norway since practically everyone is on a first name basis there haha)

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life?

This is tricky bc I can’t imagine what it’d be like living life without having to think about money at all 🤔 But I think I’d travel a lot? Ideally I’d love to be working in something Tolkien-related (but not full-time sfgsdd), and I’d probs spend my free time with friends, out in nature and maybe doing some volunteering :)

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean?

The ocean for sure! Or a lake ☀️

36. What would you do if you found $50 on the ground?

I’d keep it, except if I knew who it belongs to and how I can give the money back to them

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Did you make a wish?

Yes and yes, though I can’t remember what my wish was 💫

38. What is one thing you would want to teach your children?

That it’s okay to be whoever they are, and that they should accept others for who they are too and show tolerance and openness as much as they can 🌷

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it?

I’ve been considering so many tattoo ideas but always end up changing my mind after a while... Would really like something Harry or 1D-related and also some more Tolkien tattoos - it’s just super hard to decide on what exactly 😭

40. What can you hear right now?

My step-dad’s coffee machine working + workers doing renovations outside

41. Where do you feel the safest?

Mmm that’s a hard one, maybe when I’m with people I trust? 

42. What is one thing you want to overcome/conquer?

It’s difficult to pick only one bc I’ve got quite a few issues I need to improve on (anxiety, bad self-esteem and insecurity to name only a few) 🙈

43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be?

The Viking era hands down! ⚔️

44. What is your most used emoji?

All the pink hearts 💗💓💝💞💖💕

45. Describe yourself using one word.

Passionate

46. What do you regret the most?

I’m always most mortified to think back on instances where I accidentally hurt/upset someone in any way 💔

47. Last movie you saw?

Mudbound, which was very heavy but excellent!

48. Last tv show you watched?

Dear White People 🌈

49. Invent a word and its meaning

I feel like my cat Mia’s name sould become a verb that can be conjugated 💁

Tagging @amantisegreti @technicallysideacc @micshiefmanaged @gcralts @goldenfive @going-there-and-back-again @peachtimelord @feanarofinwion @daggryet @zenmalik - no pressure of course! 🌸💛

[thebiasrekkers]

Make It Right [BTS Mafia!AU]

Plot: “It’s always darkest before the dawn…” It’s a dog-eat-dog world in Seoul, South Korea. One has to dwell in the shadows in order to reach for the light. What are you willing to sacrifice in order to feel the sunlight on your face? What will it take to drag you back into darkness? How long will the journey be to make it right?

Rating: NC-17 // NSFW

Genre: Series | Mafia!AU | Crime!AU | Angst | Romance/Fluff | Smut

Pairings: Jin x OC | Taehyung/Hoseok x OC | Yoongi/Jungkook x OC

Warnings: Graphic Violence, Heavy Language, Angst, Slow Burn, Smut

Additional Warnings: Teasing, Fingering, Spanking, just Jin being a dirty little lover (LOL)

Previous Chapters: Prologue 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37

Links: FAQ || BTS Masterlist || Admin E’s AO3 || Admin E’s WP || [ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ]

Word Count: 3,795

Tag List: @prisczero​, @pinkpjmin​, @btsaudge​, @flowerwrites06​, @unoriginal-username15432, @halussali​

Chapter 37: Awake

“It’s not that I believe it, but that I want to try holding out...”

© thebiasrekkers (Admin E). All rights reserved. Reposting/modifying our work is prohibited. Translations are not allowed. Plagiarism/stealing is not tolerated by any means. Legal action will be taken in instances of theft.

The rain fell in heavy torrents outside. Seokjin sat at his desk, elbows resting on the surface with his fingers pressing together. If anyone happened to enter his office at that moment, they quickly vacated the room without disturbing him. He was usually kind, impressionable, and full of answers to the many questions that were thrown at him. He had a gentle smile or soft reprimand prepared for any situation.

Kim Seokjin’s current expression, however, would have frightened anyone who dared to look upon it.

His eyes, normally bright, were exceptionally dark and fierce. Full lips were pressed together in a semi-thin line as brows furrowed harshly over his eyes. The only sound resonating through the room was the steady ticking of the clock hanging over his bookshelf. A pin could drop in the room and it would have sounded like a gunshot fired off.

Why?

It was a single question that continued to bounce around inside of Seokjin’s head for days. No, weeks. He knew that there would be unrest in the criminal underworld upon their departure. It was a given. Gangnam and Yongsan were not small territories. All the other district heads were salivating at the idea that Golden Jackal turf was up for auction – metaphorically speaking. There would be no bidding for those areas. It would be an all-out war.

What disturbed Seokjin the most, the nagging concern that continued to plague his waking hours, was why no one seemed bothered into making a move. None of them. Not even Dongwook turned his head in the direction of those two territories. Something was brewing under the surface, far below the sight of the normal world. The underground was horrifying without all the clichés. It was dirty and festering like a wound that had been allowed to become infected.

His eyes narrowed slightly. …why isn’t anyone moving?

Seokjin’s calculations were normally spot on – perfect to the point of it being eerie. His call to hold off opening the hotel to timing down when, exactly, the others would need to pull out of the game. Namjoon and he spent many late nights figuring all the ins and outs to the tiniest of details. The Golden Jackals were able to succeed up to this point thanks to them both combining their efforts to see through every move and calculate all countermeasures.

However, it was clear the Jade Fangs were preparing for things far in advance. He recalled Namjoon’s face after the encounter he’d had with Shownu. As far back as Seokjin could remember, he’d never seen Namjoon reveal such an expression. There was anger, of course, but something akin to uncertainty that, had any of the others been privy to it, would have lost all motivation to continue down the path they were currently on. They hadn’t made a mistake. Seeing either Hoseok, Namjoon, or even himself waver would have made all their work disintegrate into a puff of smoke.

They couldn’t let that happen.

The shrill sound of the phone shattered Seokjin’s thought process. He cut his eyes toward it, watching the red light flash with each ring. Reaching out, he picked it up from the receiver.

“This is Kim Seokjin,” he answered calmly.

“Oh, Hyung,” Jimin said on the other line. There was a tone-shift that Seokjin instantly recognized. Jimin was uncomfortable with something, but he was unsure of whether or not to tell Seokjin about it.

Seokjin sighed. “What is it, Jimin-ah?”

Jimin hesitated, as if trying to piece together the situation he was dealing with at that exact moment. “You, uh…you have a guest?”

It was a question. Seokjin frowned, his eyes lowering to his cell phone to see that he’d received a text from Anastasia. He’d given her the day off and now he was regretting it. She would have chased this person off the premises, of that he was most certain. He sighed, unable to stave off the grin at the little kitty emoji she’d sent him, along with the words “Fighting” at the end.

“Who is it?”

“…it’s Wonho Hyung.”

He blinked, his gaze lifting to the doors to his office. No. It was a good thing that Anastasia wasn’t in the office now. Seokjin recalled the look on Wonho’s face when he’d first laid eyes on his financial advisor.

Dissolved or not, The Ice Claw of the Golden Jackals would not stand for it.

“Send him in,” Seokjin said finally. He could hear Jimin beginning to protest but he silenced him with a harsh click of his tongue. “Send him in, Jimin-ah.” He hung up the phone, promptly ending the conversation.

Rising from his seat, Seokjin made his way toward the side bar in his office. He didn’t bother turning his head as the doors opened and closed. Instead, he focused on preparing the drinks for both himself and his “guest”. As he poured the gin into the glass, he heard a familiar chuckle to his right.

“You remembered,” gruffed Wonho, his shadow casting itself just over Seokjin’s shoulder, “I’m impressed.”

Turning slightly, he met Wonho’s gaze – the man grinning easily as his lip piercing glinted from the fluorescent lighting of the room. Seokjin held the glass of gin out to him, waiting for it to leave his fingers before returning his attention to the liquor decanters. Dropping two cubes of ice into a tumbler, he let the amber liquid fall into the container – the distinct smell of scotch filling his nares.

“Who could forget your horrible choice of booze, Wonho-yah?” Seokjin turned back to Wonho and the two of them clinked their glasses together.

He gestured to the lounge area of his office where they had a clear view of the city from a large set of bay windows. Seokjin pressed a button on the wall, allowing the curtains to part so the lights of the city could fill the space between them. They both leaned along the frame, their bodies opposite of each other, not really paying their drinks any real mind. Or the city.

Seoul bustled with life below them. Cars zoomed past; pedestrians milled about – heading to unknown destinations. But the noise of the city never reached them.

There was only the sound of the clock ticking away.

Seokjin lifted his drink up to his lips, taking a slow sip to savor the smooth burn that slid down his throat. He didn’t have to look up to know that Wonho was sizing him up. But like always, Seokjin’s body gave nothing away.

“You’re not even going to ask me why I’m here, Jin Hyung,” Wonho said, amusement clear in his tone. It wasn’t a question.

The corner of Seokjin’s mouth lifted in a half grin as he continued to stare out across the cityscape. “Should I?”

“You’re not the least bit curious.”

This time, he let his gaze shift to meet Wonho’s. “Again, should I?”

Wonho’s grin widened, causing the chain connecting his lip ring to his earring to move. “It’s because you already know why.”

Seokjin shrugged. “This is becoming a one-sided conversation rather quickly, don’t you think?” He narrowed his eyes to Wonho ever so slightly. “So, why don’t you do us both a favor and get to the point of this little visit already, hm?”

For a while, neither of them said a word. All they did was smile at each other. Then Wonho began to chuckle; a low and rumbling sound. Seokjin followed suit with a slow building laugh of his own. Finally, both men were laughing loudly, their shoulders practically vibrating from the gesture.

He felt the movement before seeing it. The two men dropped their drinks, the shattering of glass lost to them as their bodies seemed to move of their own accord. Seokjin’s body shifted to the right just as Wonho’s arm thrust out to land a hit to his shoulder. Jerking his elbow up, he knocked into Wonho’s forearm and took a step forward at the same time he did. Seokjin’s arm shot out, his hand immediately clamping over Wonho’s throat seconds after he felt the blow to his ribs. The muscles in his biceps flexed, forcing Wonho’s weight to the left until the other man’s head was pressed against the glass window.

Seokjin winced at the pain blossoming at his core, causing the other man to chuckle, albeit strained from the hold the older man had on him.

“Y-You’ve gotten a little slower, J-Jin Hyung.” Wonho was in obvious discomfort, but still felt like cracking jokes.

Grinning, he dug his fingers into Wonho’s flesh just a bit more, silencing the noises coming from him. “Is that what you think?”

“It’s what I know.” Seokjin felt Wonho grab at his wrist, attempting to loosen the hold he had on his neck. “Falling in love has made you weak.”

The smirk fell from Seokjin’s face, as if Wonho slapped it away. Replacing the momentary look of shock was absolute rage. He squeezed harder, watching the other man’s face change to a concerning shade of red. Seokjin took a step forward, his chest just barely pressing up against Wonho’s.

“Come again?” Wonho coughed against his grasp but Seokjin showed no signs of easing up. “You wanna run that by me one more time, Lee Wonho?”

Instead of answering, the younger man simply laughed. That simple action was enough for Seokjin as realization washed over him like a bucket of ice water. After everything he’d heard from the others, he’d allowed his guard to slip for even a second. And Seokjin was infuriated at the victorious expression painting Wonho’s features.

Goddammit, he thought, the vein at his neck pulsing in time with his ire. He glared at Wonho, wanting in that moment to give into impulse and smash him through the window. Fucking Jack Rabbit…

Taking a step back, he watched as Wonho began to cough and massage his neck. There was a distinct crunch of glass under them as they shuffled over the broken shards. Neither of them paid it any mind. Not when it was obvious that the trap, small as it was, had been sprung.

“It’s just like I thought,” the other man finally managed to croak out, a strained chuckle tacked on the end of his words, “and I told Changkyun-ah what would happen.”

Seokjin pressed a hand to his side, unable to ignore the ache of pain there any longer. “Whatever game you think you’re playing, you need to stop.”

Again, Wonho laughed. “If you weren’t going to finish the game, you never should have started playing in the first place.”

“What’d you say?”

“Did you forget, Jin Hyung? When you first showed up in Seoul all those years ago? Before the Golden Jackals even came around?” Wonho was smiling, but his tone was full of barbs. “You all turned down the offer to become a Jade Fang. One of Changkyun’s people. After getting an in and obtaining all the knowledge you needed, you spat in our faces and left to form your own group.”

Seokjin didn’t know whether to be outraged or laugh. He chose a mixture of both. “Did you think we were going to become Im Changkyun’s lackeys? ” he asked, his brows raising slightly. “Have you lost your mind?”

“We offered you a place at our table—”

“And we didn’t want it, Wonho,” Seokjin cut in, not sure of what to make of this conversation now, “we never did.”

“That’s fine,” he said easily, strolling past Seokjin, “and since Hoseok clearly doesn’t want to join hands with Changkyun, then there’s nothing else for us to really talk about.”

Seokjin turned around just as he saw Wonho heading for the door.

“Ya, Lee Wonho!”

The younger man paused, his fingers resting on the door handle. Wonho glanced over his shoulder to meet Seokjin’s gaze, his smile remaining.

“You better know where the line is.” Seokjin’s eyes narrowed severely. “Don’t even dream of crossing it.”

Instead of replying, Wonho’s grin grew, and then he exited the office – leaving Seokjin alone to feel suffocated by the silence.

…it’s almost time.

He didn’t wait for Anastasia to greet him with her warm, bubbly smile like she so often did when he came to see her. He wouldn’t let her take his coat or offer him a drink. He hadn’t bothered with teasing remarks like he usually did when they were behind closed doors.

Completely ignoring the house slippers, he kicked his shoes off in the entryway and hoisted Anastasia into his arms. She flailed, her hands pressing into his shoulders as she made every attempt to get him to slow down. In ten seconds, he already had her back pressed against the window of her apartment – his arms taking comfort in the cold emitting from the surface. The deep desire was building in Seokjin’s lips, completely overtaking her own.

Tasting her was a sin he willingly committed every chance he could get.

Whatever words Anastasia had were gone and Seokjin didn’t want to talk. He wanted to feel everything; feel her. If she wanted to talk, he would simply rob her of the ability to speak until he was ready for any kind of conversation.

“S-Seokjin,” she managed to puff out when he’d released her mouth, “w-wait a minute.”

Her mewl of protest halted him momentarily, his dark eyes boring into her deep seas of green. Anastasia looked like a deer caught in headlights and he bit back a grin. Instead, his thumb slowly traced the line of her brow all the way to her lips. Tucking the tip of it between the rosy buds, now swollen from his affection, he leaned in to further crowd her space.

“Y-You haven’t eaten yet,” Anastasia stammered, her back pressing further into the window as he, too, took a step into her bubble. “Aren’t you hungry?”

“I am.” His answer came out huskier than he’d intended, causing her cheeks to flush further.

She tried to push against him, but he didn’t move a single inch.

“T-Then let me cook already!”

Seokjin shook his head, leaning down so that his lips were barely brushing across hers. “Dinner can wait.”

Before she could protest, he was already dipping his hands under her baggy sweatshirt – his cold hands instantly warmed by her soft skin nestled beneath. She yelped from his touch and he leaned forward, whispering apologies before sealing his mouth over hers in a heated kiss. Caressing her stomach, he slid his hands around her back until his knuckles brushed over the waistband of her flannel pajama pants. He dipped them beneath, grabbing handfuls of her ass in his palms and lifting her up and against him.

She wrapped her legs around his waist without having to be asked and Seokjin grinned, giving her a good squeeze as he moved – legs slowly ascending the stairs leading to her bedroom loft. When his knees knocked against the edge of the bed, he held Anastasia against him as he leaned back, his hands moving to pull her sweatshirt completely off her torso. Goosebumps immediately peppered across her skin and he began to kiss her collar, his tongue sliding across to her shoulder until he was able to bite into the meat of the muscle there.

Groaning softly, he gently lowered her body down. Just before she was about to reach the bed, however, Seokjin pinched at the back of her calves, causing her grip to release him as she unceremoniously flopped onto the mattress. Her face screwed up in obvious displeasure, but Seokjin didn’t allow her time to issue a complaint. His hands were already at work, gripping onto the waist of her pants and yanking them off in one clean motion. Anastasia’s eyes widened and she attempted to scramble up the bed, away from him, but he was fine with that.

He preferred the hunt.

Seokjin shed his jacket and blazer with little effort on his part, leaning down to remove his socks while maintaining his gaze with the beautiful woman he’d become attached to more and more with every passing day they spent together. Even when they weren’t together, he was enraptured with her and there was an angry imp inside of him cursing Wonho for seeing it clearly when Seokjin, himself, had not bothered to give it a voice.

Love.

“Are you running from me?” he asked while slowly removing his tie. “Huh, Anastasia?”

She looked gob smacked by his question – as if she truly couldn’t believe what was coming out of his mouth. To be fair, he couldn’t blame her. He’d hardly been this aggressive. Ever.

Seokjin snatched her by her ankle, yanking her roughly toward him. There was a half cry, half laugh that exploded from Anastasia. He loved her laugh and he loved knowing that he was the reason for it. Once her legs were dangling on either side of him, he quickly unbuttoned his dress shirt and tossed it to the floor without a second glance. His bare torso was exposed and he could feel the chill running through the air. He pouted slightly while Anastasia seemed almost lost at looking at his body, as if appreciating it for the first time.

“You’re not poor, you know?” He watched her blink up at him, like she’d been knocked out of a trance. He slid his belt off and it, too, hit the floor. “Why do you keep being cheap about the heat?”

Anastasia’s face contorted into child-like outrage. “Ya, Kim Seokjin!”

Seokjin let his hand sail down to her underwear, his palm cupping the warmth that cropped there. He let a middle finger press into the fabric, feeling the nub that was starting to throb and grow wet under his touch. Whatever rebuttals she had were silenced as he rubbed slow, agonizing circles around her clit over the surface of her panties. He could smell her, wanting nothing more than to cover his entire body in that scent.

As he continued to rub circles around her nub, distracting her, his other hand reached down and pulled her underwear completely off her hips. She gasped, her warmth exposed to the frigid air. Seokjin dropped his trousers and groaned at the ache in his loins – his erection fighting against the confines of his boxer briefs. Anastasia reached out to grasp his forearms, unsure of what he was going to do next but silently letting him know that she was ready.

Grabbing for her waist, he flipped her over until her ass bounced in the air – watching her honey wheat locks escape from the updo she’d tied it in and spill over her back. His cold hands slid along the curve of her spine until his fingers flicked over the clasp of her bra – releasing the latch and watching the article flutter to the bed.

He watched her body shudder as she attempted to keep herself up on all fours, admiring the way her folds glistened. Her pale skin flushed and Seokjin already knew that she was becoming self-conscious. Tsking under his breath, he reached out to firmly smack her ass – watching it grow red where his hand was. Anastasia choked out a gasp, and he grinned as her fingers curled into the blankets.

“Are you acting shy? Hm?”

Anastasia whined. He knew she was unable to voice her tantrum to his outrageous question. He smacked her other ass cheek for good measure, eliciting soft, whining mewls from her.

“I’ve told you a million times already,” Seokjin whispered, his fingers sweeping down over her folds to catch the juices from her, “that you’re beautiful.”

He lifted his hand to his lips, swirling his tongue over the digits, making sure that she was watching. There was a hint of a smirk on her lips and Seokjin leaned forward, pressing his chest against her backside and feeling her velvet heat along his stomach. Shimmying out of his underwear, his erection sprung forward, rock hard and aching with desire that he knew only she could satisfy.

She knew it too.

Pressing his hand against her back, he forced her chest to rest along the bed so that her ass was up just a little bit higher. He curled inward, pressing his lips against her spine to trail kisses all the way down until he pressed his lips on both red marks on her ass. Soothing balms for the punishment he’d given her. Seokjin saw her reaching as far as she could towards the headboard, her hands finding the pillow and digging into the soft plush until her knuckles were ghostly white.

Grasping onto her hips with bruising force, Seokjin slid into her fully in one thrust – the world falling to a raw tilt that had his eyes rolling to the back of his head. Anastasia cried out in both pain and pleasure, his name falling from her lips like a litany to a deity that no longer existed but was desperately being summoned. He took his time sliding out of her, his tip just scarcely brushing along her folds, before pushing all the way in. The cadence was slow, deliberate, until he couldn’t take it anymore. The climb was harsh, nails raking along her pale skin as she continued to clutch with ferocity into the sheets and pillows – her voice muffled in the cotton while taking him every single time.

And when he couldn’t handle the pacing he was dragging them both through, when he knew she couldn’t handle it anymore, Seokjin increased speed – thrusting like a piston with precision. The spot that felt the best, the part that satisfied him, was finally within reach. He could feel her walls closing in around him, gripping with a need to keep him there – to continue hitting that spot.

So, he did.

Over.

And over.

And over again.

His chest fell across her back, their cries intermingling as their climax was reached together. Sweat soaked their bodies and the hot, musky scent of their sex filled the small space. Grasping onto her shoulders, Seokjin pulled them both to land on their sides. He stayed inside of her, the soft throb of her heat holding him there; tethering him in a way that he was in no rush to free himself from. Anastasia’s breathing eased out as he brushed her bangs away from her forehead affectionately, his other hand wrapping around her from underneath so he could keep his palm pressed between the cleft of her breasts – to feel her heartbeat.

When he was confident that she’d fallen into a light sleep, Seokjin pressed a kiss to her neck and then let his lips linger near the shell of her ear.

“…I love you.”

[adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy]

So, I just read it on Twitter and had to share it with you. “Climate change has fucked up seasons, does this mean Hades and Persephone’s deal has changed? Is she getting her cheeks smashed for longer now? Is Hades okay with random dick appointments rescheduling? Is Demeter going crazy? Is she going stupid?”

“Your mom must be going fucking nuts, huh?”

It’s 3:32 AM in the morning, the halls of the palace are fast asleep, and the only sound is the soft, muffled crackling of the eternal fires the burn just outside the large, arched window of their bedroom.

For millennia, Hades never really payed much mind to what humans were doing to the world. The wars, the bloodshed, the atrocities— it was always a part of mankind, for as long as he could remember. He’s aware that his mindset is probably do to the fact that he grew up during a time when all of these aspects were very common, so he was numb to them, to an extent.

But in all of his years of life, Harry had never witnessed humans actually be able to push the boundaries of their powers to the point where it was impacting the actual planet. 

Bombs are the obvious factor, as well as mass deforestation, oil wells, mines, and so much more. However, amidst all of these impacts humans lay upon the world, none of them had ever had a direct influence on Harry’s life. He’s sequestered so far down in the depths of the earth that humans can’t possibly reach him here without kicking it first.

That was until global warming became an issue.

Well, an issue for those who live above ground. For him, it was actually working out quite to his advantage.

He’s knows it’s a horrible thing to say but he’s already in Hell so he doesn’t really have much to lose. Actually, he has so much more to gain.

Since global warming is a direct line to climate change, all of the seasons have been thrown out of their natural order. Fall and Winter used to be strictly six months, which is when Persephone would be down in the Underworld with him. As soon as the first of the seventh month hit, it was time for her to go back to Olympus with her mother for their given time of Spring and Summer.

The end of the six month period was usually when the weather would start to warm up on the surface, resulting in Persephone having to go and take the reigns of her godly duty with Demeter. But increasing climate change has been tinkering with the technicalities for the last few years and most of the time, it’s in Hades’ favor.

It’s been two weeks into the seventh month, and with temperatures still near freezing in some areas of the world, Y/N has managed to use this as an excuse to extend her stay with Harry. And since the weather is too risky for crops to start growing, Demeter’s hands are tied in her own grape veins, much to Hades’ glee.

This brings them to where they are now, snuggling cozily under the charcoal black duvet of their humongous bed, legs intertwined as his wife cradles her head against his bare chest, the tips of his fingers tracing both of his names down the expanse of her spine.

The last two weeks had been a hell of a ride, literally and metaphorically.

It reminds Harry of how when they had first gotten married, they had been going at it like rabbits for the weeks that followed, as if the world could end any minute.

But now, it was The Weather Channel that could potentially throw a gear in their little extravaganza. They had been safe thus far into the month, so every day was a triumph, and triumphs obviously have to be celebrated.

The amount of fucking got so embarrassingly frequent, in some embarrassingly unequip places, to the point where one of the cleaning servants had walked in on them in a storage closet when Harry was supposedly at an emergency meeting on Olympus.

He doesn’t think he’s ever been more mortified then when the servant handed him a freshly cleaned towel and said, “Here, you’ll need this for when you’re finished.” before closing the door behind her.

Harry looks down at Y/N, not being able to keep a gentle smile from tickling his lips as she presses her ear over his heart, comforted by the mellow thumping that had been harsh and fast-paced a few minutes prior. He ducks down and presses a caring kiss between her sweaty brows, her skin still hot and clammy from the exertion he’d just put her through.

His voice comes out as a raspy laugh and she can feel the edges of his mouth drawing up into a sly simper against her forehead.

“She must fucking hate me right now more than ever, too.”

Y/N pinches at his tummy in a cautionary manner, but she can’t fight the amused scuff that escapes her. “It’s not like you’re responsible for the weather, though.”

Hades shrugs one shoulder, his dark emerald eyes glistening in the buttery light of the fires below that stream in through the glass window. His tone is cocky and self-indulgent.

“But I am responsible for this.” He streams his fingertips down the dip of her back and onto her ass, moving the sheets down a tad to reveal a darkened outline of his handprint. “And that’s enough to cause her to plunge the world into another Ice Age.”

Persephone fully laughs now, her eyes squeezing shut as her whole face lights up like the Northern Lights and Harry can’t resist scattering a dozen kisses all over her cheeks and nose. She just looks so fucking cute when she smiles like that.

Hades cups the side of her jaw with his fingers, thumbing over the faint dimple on her chin as he rubs his nose over the tip of her’s. Even though his plump, wine-tinted lips carry a tender, sleepy grin, she can hear the sadness weighing his words. “I don’t want you to leave.”

Persephone sighs deeply, reaching up to push her husband’s damp, chestnut curls away from his forehead, combing them back from his softening eyes as he swallows heavily, thick eyebrows furrowing as he tries to keep his emotions from registering on his face. “I don’t want to either, but I have to eventually.”

Harry nods his head emptily, the tip of his cold nose running up and down the suppleness of her cheek. “I just don’t want this to end.”

Y/N snorts lightly, trying to lift the mood of the conversation. “Yeah, I get that. Then you won’t have anyone to ride you in the bathing pool.”

She thanks the gods that it works, heart fluttering in her chest as Harry breaks out into a fit of that high-pitched laughter he does when he can’t control himself. His entire face changes for a moment, his nose crinkling upwards as the corners of his eyes wrinkle in delight.

“Am I wrong?!” She teases, poking him in the stomach and sides until his hands are fumbling for her own, his giggling intensifying when she buries her head into his neck and starts blowing raspberries against his skin.

“Okay, okay!” Harry can barely breathe, his ribs aching but in the best way and he can’t seem to stop beaming. “You’re kinda right.”

Y/N halts her attack, mouth dropping open in fake appalled shock, eyebrows flying upwards outrage. “Are you serious?!”

She tries to yank her wrists free from her husband’s large hands, but his fingers only tighten to keep her from going at him again. Persephone lays there writhing from side to side, yelling out all types of vulgar language that is gradually dissolving into bundles of banter and giggles as Harry makes kissy-faces, warning her to calm down before he “gives her a taste of her own ambrosia.”

Y/N, in the spur of the moment, mounts herself on top of Harry in a whirlwind of messy sheets, straddling his hips with her thighs and trying to tug herself free that way, but his hold is beyond godly. She releases an exasperated groan, slamming their conjoined hands down against his stomach, satisfied at the pained grunt he chokes out. “You deserve it, you prick.”

They are both still grinning from ear to ear, Y/N’s hair a tangled mess of flyaways as she slumps down in defeat against Hades’ lap, pouting and fuming jokingly.

When Harry sees his wife has come down from her bloodthirsty rampage, he slowly unclamps his fingers from her wrists, shrugging his eyebrows warningly. “I’ll pin you, babe. Behave.”

Persephone raises her own eyebrows challengingly. “Oh, yeah?”

Before Hades can react, she has his wrists crossed above his head, pressed into the mound of elegant feathered pillows below him. “How’s that, then? Turned the tables.”

Harry cocks his head to the side with an arrogant air as his bare, tattooed chest heaves alluringly. He runs his bottom lip under his top teeth as the corners turn up into a presumptuously attractive smirk, voice holding faux surrender. “You’re absolutely right, darling. I completely, totally lost. I have you sitting in my lap, naked, with a perfect view of your tits, which is the most dreadful defeat I can possibly imagine.You won.”

Y/N’s eyes narrow. It’s all a game— just for shits and giggles— but the way he’s eyeing her with that amused, conceited smirk makes her want to slap him across the face.

“You’re an asshole.” She huffs, nails digging into his wrists.

A holographic green glint flashes across the whites of Harry’s eyes, irises glowing with a watery jade hue as he mopes at her tauntingly. “Oh, but I thought I was a ‘prick?’”

Now he’s really asking for it. Practically begging for her to do something to make him take it all back. As if reading her mind, Hades flicks up a single eyebrow, and she can read his expression clear as crystal.

What are you gonna do about it?

Y/N can feel her nostrils flaring ever so slightly at the dare, and what drives it forward it that even though she is the one who is supposed to have Harry pinned down at her disposable, it looks more like he has his hands crossed behind his head, waiting for her to bend to his will.

It’s infuriatingly hot.

Something glints out of the corner of Persephone’s eye, her gaze rising until it lands on Hades’ wedding ring as it hugs his finger, the giant emerald jewel glittering in the muted amber lighting. He follows her locked stare, jaw flexing as he tilts his head back against the mattress, trying to find the target of her distraction.

His ring.

He very seldom takes it off, to the point where he has a tan line around the area. It’s his most prized possession, accompanied by his crown, his emblem, and Cerberus.

Y/N quickly wraps her fingers around it, pulling it off swiftly and holding it up above his head, sticking her tongue out at him playfully. “Good luck getting it back.”

Her plan backfires almost immediately.

She tries to swing herself off her husband to get the prize as far away from him as possible, but she had forgotten that their bodies had been tangled together in the sheets. Instead of making a speedy escape, she topples off his sideways, landing face-first into the fluffy duvet.

Harry’s muddled snickering mocks her.

The next thing she knows, Persephone is being scooped up in a pair of strong, lean arms, her back hitting the pillowy mattress and bouncing lightly. Harry’s body collapses over her’s, his hips snug between her thighs as his palms press down against the bed on either side of her head.

He moves strands of her hair away from her face, tucking them behind her ears as his face hovers over her, grin plastered all over it. “That was cute, pet. Ten-out-of-ten for effort. Execution? I’ll give you a two-out-of-ten, only because I love you so much.”

Harry shifts into his forearms, holding his left hand up and wiggling his ring finger. “Now give it back.”

“No.”

He rolls his eyes in mild irritation. “Give it back before you drop it behind the bed, you dolt.”

Y/N rattles her head in defiance, fist tightening around the obsidian ring as it remains pressed against her husband’s chest.

Harry gives her a ominous look, tilting his head to the side with a cautionary tone. “Give me my ring back before I give the other side of your bum a matching handprint.”

Instead of just giving in and returning the jewelry, Y/N decides to take the more complicated (and irrationally ridiculous) route. She pops it into her mouth.

Harry is so surprised he doesn’t blink for a few seconds. Then, he breaks out into awed laughter.

“You’re such a stubborn little thing, aren’t you? S’fucking impressive.” He shakes his head in disbelief, ghosting his index finger along her Cupid’s Bow, licking at the corner of his mouth coyly when he feels her lips twitching beneath his touch. “Now be a good girl and spit it out.”

Her words are muffled over the object. “Make me.”

A dark aura falls over Hades’ face, his hand coasting down from playing with her lips to wrapping delicately around her throat in foreshadowing. His voice is low and assertive. “You know I fucking will.”

“That’s what I’m betting on.”

Harry’s mouth curls into an evilly delighted simper. “Alright. You asked for it.”

Hades grabs one of Persephone’s knees, spreading her legs open roughly and using his own knees to keep her parted wide open. The ring finger of the hand around her throat presses against the center of her lips, the other hand wandering down and cupping her bare crotch without any warning. The two middle fingers of his right hand press deeper against her slick folds until he can feel the bud of her clit, and that’s when he starts wiggling the digits back and forth.

It starts off softly, but is quickly molding into a faster, messier, more eager pace. He usually eases her into sex because he knows how sensitive she can be down there to the point where she’ll cum without much work, but since they’re pitted against each other rather than together, dirty war strategies are expected.

Y/N’s legs act on instinct, trying to clasp shut as she feels her entire body coursing with electric shocks of sudden euphoria. However, the knees he has against her’s keeps her open, allowing him to do whatever he deems fit.

Persephone’s hands desperately grab at her husband’s, trying to get him to stop; she’d clearly overestimated her confidence level. She’d assumed he would just bury himself inside her, a strategy she knows how to fight with the right amount of willpower. But her clit is way more sensitive than anything else on her body and he’d gone in without remorse.

“T-That’s not fair! H-Harry, you can’t just— fuck, oh my God!” Her back arches up from the bed, thighs quivering as she feels deep pulses of pleasure pounding at the pit of her stomach.

Harry’s lips are flushed against her throat, placing hot, sloppy pecks across her juglar as he feels her getting wetter and wetter over his fingers. “I fucking warned you, sweetheart. I’m gonna make you cum like this, without me inside you. It’s what you deserve for being such a brat.”

“P-Please—!”

“Ring.” He growls demandingly, his second middle finger pressing harder against the center of her colored lips, the rest of his digits gripping her jaw firmly. “Now.”

It’s as if Y/N’s brain is no longer in control of her actions, her body acting on sheer adrenaline. Her mouth drops open on command, and she can feel Harry’s triumphant grin stinging across her jaw.

“That’s what I thought.”

The digit dips in and the ring slips past a third of it before Harry pulls it out. He makes eye contact with his wife, ducking down to whisper his next words across the shell of her ear.

“You’re gonna be the one to put the ring back on me.”

With everything that is happening, Persephone has no time to unravel the riddle behind Hades’ words. One of her trembling hands reaches up for his hand, trying to obey him in her drunken state of shock.

But he stops her with a light shake of his head, wet curls bouncing. “Not like that, baby.”

Harry then shifts his body over smoothly, the hand that was between her thighs slamming down beside her head to hold himself up as the hand with the ring takes its place.

In one quick, expert move, he plunges his two middle fingers inside Y/N, and the experience is almost out-of-body.

She can feel the abrupt chill of the metal ring making contact with the skin around her entrance, and then he’s slipping his digits further inside her, the ring pushing against her tight hole and running down his finger until it is snug in its rightful place. Until Harry is knuckles deep and she feels like she’s going to pass out as her senses go into overdrive.

Y/N is bucking and writhing against Hades’ hand, whimpering and whining and pleading with him to stop toying with her. To just fuck her already.

“Oh, I will, love. I’m gonna fuck you with my fingers first. Play with that spot inside you that I know drives you fucking wild. And then, I’m gonna proper raw you until you can’t even stand.”

Harry’s fingers slip out completely, only to pound back inside her harder this time, her whole body jolting upwards against the bed sheets as her throat aches with a broken yelp.

“I’m gonna make you apologize for calling me a prick—” his fingers draw out and slam back in and she’s so wet he can fucking hear it— “and an asshole—’ the same motion again, but this time she feels his teeth staining her neck and jaw with bruises— “and I’m gonna make you scream so loud, they’ll hear you all the way up in Olympus.”

And with the way he rams his digits back inside her, she knows he’ll make good on that promise.

[sirtravisjacksonoftexas]

Was Jesus a Mythical Figure Based on Odin? Um, NO, and Here is Why:

Odin, aka Othin, aka All-Father (among many other names) was the King of the Norse gods. He was the god of the sky, his eyes symbolic of the sun and the moon (the latter willingly sacrificed). Though he often traveled and took human form, his spiritual essence was omnipresent, filling all of creation. Armed with Grungir, a magic spear that never failed to hit its target, He would ride across the sky on the back of Sleipnir, an eight-legged flying horse. Odin’s thirst for wisdom was legendary, having sacrificed an eye and even his own life in order to attain more of it. From morning to night his raven spies, Muninn (Memory) and Huginn (thought) would fly around earth, later whispering to Odin what they had witnessed. Though highly intelligence, his knowledge came with a price, for Odin knew of Ragnarok, the end times battle where both the gods and the Einherjar (souls of those who died in battle) would fight an army of monsters and damned souls led by Loki, god of fire. The gods would fall, the cosmic tree Yggdrasil would burn, and Odin would be swallowed by the giant wolf Fenrir. However, his knowledge gave him comfort as well, knowing that a new, perfect age would arise afterwards.

Odin is a perplexing character of world myth, a heroic trickster bound by fate. But was he more than this? Was he, as some Jesus Mythicists believe, the inspiration for Jesus Christ?

Let’s tear apart this hopeless boneheaded idea.

1. Creator God?

After Odin and his brothers Vili and Vey slay the frost giant Ymir, they made the world out of his body. They made plants, animals, and the first humans.

 Ask, the first man, was made out of an ash tree, while Embla, the first woman, was made out of an elm tree or vine. Odin in particular gave them souls.

Jesus is likewise creator (John 1:1-3). Indeed, when he is called “Word” in a passage that talks about him creating all things (lbid), it harkens back to Genesis 1 where God creates…by speaking things into existence.

In this sense, both Jesus and Odin are creator gods, though while Odin created only some things, Jesus created ALL things.

Does the fact that both were creator gods prove that Jesus was a mythical figure based on Odin?

No.

Keep reading…

2.Born of a Virgin?

No. His parents, the god Bor or Borr and the frost giantess Bestla, had (drum roll) Sex!

Now, Bor himself seems to have been the product of a virgin birth, albeit a strange one. Buri, his father, was the first god, one whom Audhumla, the primordial cow, freed from primordial ice by licking it around him. 

Right after being freed, Buri had seemingly given “birth” to Bor. This is quite similar to the birth of the frost giant Bergelmir, who was born by the six-headed frost giant Thrudgelmir. Thrudgelmir himself emerged from the feet of Ymir, the first frost giant.

 More emerged from Ymir’s armpit sweat. Thrudgelmir, Bergelmir and Bor were all born by a male frost giant or god, and none of their parents had sex beforehand (they had only recently been created when they gave birth). Given the latter fact, these three births would technically qualify as virgin births. However, though Ymir is considered the mother as well as father of the frost giants, the giants who were formed out of his sweat were not born, but created. Indeed, their creation is similar to Eve’s, who was created out of Adam’s rib. In neither case is a virgin birth involved. They are created, not born. Still, as Thrudgelmir Bergelmir and Bor show us, the concept of a virgin birth was not unknown to the Norse. However, its hard to imagine a connection between these tales and that of the virgin Mary.

3. Incarnate god?

No, Odin was never a god incarnate in human flesh.

 4. Son of god?

He was the son of the god Bor. Jesus was called Son of God for two reasons; his conception came about by the power of both God the Father and God the Holy Spirit, not a man (Luke 1:34-35), and he was also God the Son, one of three persons within the Trinity. Long before he was born, he was God (John 1:1-3, 8:58).

5. Trinity?

No, Odin was not a person within a divine trinity. His statue, along with one of Thor and another of Freyr, were supposedly in the Temple of Uppsala, but this doesn’t mean that they were members of a trinity; it just simply means that the temple had the statue of three gods. Besides, it’s not known for a fact that such statues were inside the temple.  

6. Star proclaimed his birth?

No.

 7. Wise men?

No.

 8. Survived a king’s purge shortly after he was born?

No.

 9. Taught in the temple as a boy?

No.

10. Baptized?

No.

 11. Tempted by the Devil?

No, Loki, the Norse equivalent of the Devil, didn’t tempt Odin, let alone in a wilderness.

 12. Miracle worker?

All gods were, big deal.

 13. Turned water into wine?

No.

 14. Multiplied bread and fish?

No.

 15. Walked on water?

No.

16. Healed the sick?

Among other things, Odin was the god of healing, although he is not shown healing others in the manner that Christ did in the Gospels. He did keep Mimir’s head from rotting and thus “heals” him (see below), but this isn’t really much like Jesus’ healing miracles.  

17. Raised the dead?

After Mimir, one of the Aesir gods (which Odin ruled) was decapitated by the Vanir, another race of gods, Odin used herbs to keep it from rotting and magic to enable it to speak. Thus, Odin “resurrected” Mimir.

Jesus would have called that a half-butt job (Matthew 19:23-26, Luke 7:11-17, John 11:1-44).

 18. Cast out Demons?

No.  

19. Betrayed? For thirty pieces of silver?

Odin was betrayed, but not for 30 pieces of silver. His son Balder had been made all but invincible, which ticked Loki off. After some investigating, Loki learned of Balder’s Achilles’ heel: Mistletoe. Only it could harm Balder, the god of light. Loki therefore tricked Hodr, the blind god of darkness, into throwing some at Balder. Balder fell, dead as a doornail. Considering that Loki was a fellow god, this was a serious  betrayal. However, betrayal is too broad a category for one to conclude that Odin’s myth gave rise to the story of Christ. After all, how many people have been betrayed? How many gods and heroes in world religions have been betrayed? If I get betrayed by someone, would that mean that I am a fictional character based on Jesus or Odin?

20. Crucified?

No, he was hung on the cosmic tree Yggdrasil for nine days.

 True, the Bible sometimes states that Jesus was “hung” on a cross (Acts 5:30, Acts 10:39), and metaphorically calls the cross a “tree” (Acts 10:39, 13:29, 1 Peter 2:24), these are just figures of speech, not meant to be taken literally. Now, it’s true that the myth of Odin hanging on a tree predates the New Testament. Nevertheless, the myth has nothing to do with crucifixion and everything to do with sacrificial hangings. You see, sometimes the Norse would sacrifice a person by hanging them from a gallows tree. Being hanged in this way ensured that one would go to Valhalla. This is what the Vikings had in mind when they told the story of Odin hanging 9 days on the cosmic tree Yggdrasil.

Question: why would 1rst century Jews base a hypothetical fictional Christ’s crucifixion on the Norse myth of Odin hanging from a tree (and the Norse practice of sacrificial hanging)…instead of crucifixion, which they would have been at the very least FAR more familiar with?

Now, there are other similarities between the death of Odin and that of Christ, including being stabbed with a spear (Jesus was pierced by a Roman soldier’s spear after he died (John 19:34), while Odin stabbed himself with Grungir), being offered an alcoholic beverage (Jesus was offered sour wine in a sponge (Matthew 27:48, Mark 15:36, Luke 23:36, John 19:28-30) while Odin was offered Mead) and yelling before their demise. Combined with both “hanging” from a tall wooden object…their deaths seem to be quite similar…

Does this mean that the story of Christ’s crucifixion was inspired by the myth of Odin hanging on a tree?

Nope.

Keep reading…

 21. Died willingly?

Yes. Though Jesus asked God to have him avoid crucifixion if it was possible, nevertheless he said “…not my will, but yours, be done.” (Luke 22:42). Just like a soldier who doesn’t want to die, but dies willingly to protect his country, Jesus doesn’t want to die, but dies willingly to save mankind. Odin likewise dies willingly, but does so in order to gain wisdom, not save humanity.

 22. Resurrected?

Yes, Odin did resurrect after hanging on Yggdrasil for 9 days. Unlike most supposed pagan candidates that Jesus Mythycists harp about, Odin at least resurrected himself. 

A victory for Mythicists?

Um, nope.

Keep reading… 

23. Rides a flying horse?

Odin rides the flying 8-legged horse Sleipnir. Sleipnir was born of a fling between Loki (while in the form of a mare) and the stallion Svadilfari.

A male god…taking the form of a mare…sleeping with a stallion.

I’ll give you a moment to process…that.

Jesus is depicted as riding a white horse which flies to the earth in Revelation 19:11-16 (compare with Revelation 1:9-18). Before we read too much into this, let’s remember that the Book of Revelation is rich in symbolism, being in the genre of apocalyptic. Its symbols are not meant to be taken literally. Nevertheless, its not impossible that Jesus will ride on a horse when he comes to fight at the Battle of Armageddon. Perhaps the horse is specially created for this, or perhaps it’s the soul of a horse that has died (Despite both Christian and Jewish doctrine, the Bible doesn’t teach that animals don’t have souls. Indeed, it implies that they do (see Ecclesiastes 3:18-21).

Is this proof that Jesus was a mythical figure borrowed from Odin?

Nope.

Keep reading…

 24. Leads an army in an end times battle against the forces of evil?

In Norse mythology, Odin, while riding on Sleipnir, will one day lead an army of gods and Einherhar against Loki and an army of monsters and damned souls at the battle of Ragnarok.

Likewise, Jesus, while riding a white horse, will lead heaven’s armies (who are also riding white horses) against the forces of the Antichrist at the Battle of Armageddon (Revelation 19:11-21).

Sounds similar?

Yes…but there are differences as well, the most important being…

…That Jesus wins his end times battle.

Odin…loses.

The gods are nearly exterminated at Ragnarok. Odin himself meets a heroic end when he faces the giant wolf Fenrir (aka Fenris), another child of Loki. Fenris is said to be so large that when he opens his horrendous mouth, his upper jaw touches the heavens, while the lower jaw touches the earth. Despite Odin’s vast powers and his mighty spear, he is swallowed by the colossal wolf.

 At the end of the battle, the fire giant Surt sets all creation on fire with his magic sword, bringing about the apocalypse. This latter aspect is strikingly similar to 2 Peter 3:1-13, which describes how the earth will on day be destroyed by fire and great heat. 

Makes you wonder where the Vikings got that idea from…

Jesus, however, wins the Battle of Armageddon (Revelation 19:11-21).

Nevertheless, does the fact that both lead an army in an end times battle against the forces of evil... prove that Jesus was a mythical figure based on Odin?

Nope.

Keep reading…

25. A New Age after his battle?

Yes. While Ragnarok is followed by the creation of a new world, the Battle of Armageddon is followed by the Millennial Reign, when Christ will reign on earth for a thousand years (Revelation 20:1-4). After this (and another end times battle), a New Heavens and a New Earth are made (Revelation 21).

However, while Jesus will reign in both the Millennial kingdom and the New Earth, Odin will neither resurrect nor be resurrected to enjoy the new earth in Norse mythology.

So, Odin does have some interesting parallels with Christ, right? I mean, they share at least nine similarities (not all of them good ones), so there must be a connection, right?

Wrong!

As I mentioned in my previous articles on Thor and Balder, the Norse Myths were first put into print by Norse Christians in the so-called Dark Ages. Before then, the pagan Vikings had long been acquainted with Christians and Christianity. Plus, the New Testament was written in the first century AD, a few centuries before the Dark Ages started and around a thousand years before the Norse were known to put their myths to paper. 

I also noted how Christian missionaries would take elements of Norse Myth and combine them with the biblical tale of creation, which helped in their missionary efforts. the Vikings themselves likewise borrowed aspects of Christianity and put it into their own faith. Indeed, Jesus was considered by the Vikings as another god to worship, alongside Odin, Thor and other homegrown favorites. 

Now, to be fair, the only similarity between Jesus and Odin that seemingly wasn’t inspired by Christianity was the latter’s hanging on the cosmic tree Yggdrasil. This is because the myth predates Christianity (though not all scholars agree). Indeed, even the part where he is stabbed with a spear while hanging is possibly older than the New Testament (Odin was a spear god). However, not only is the latter idea not known for sure, but scholars note that the story, even if it is older than Christianity, was influenced by the story of Christ’s crucifixion. Even if it was originally as similar to Christ’s crucifixion as it seems in the originally written sources, this doesn’t prove that Jesus was a mythical figure based on Odin, any more than the similarities between the Titanic and the novella “Futility/Wreck of the Titan” by Morgan Robertson proves that the former was a fictional ship based on the latter (which was written 14 years before the Titanic disaster occurred), or the similarities between the sinking of the Mignonette and the novel “The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym of Nantucket” proves that the former was a fictional story based on the latter (which  was written 46 years before the Mignonette sank). True, one could simply invoke pure coincidence between the story of Christ and that of Odin without also invoking Jesus Mythicist stupidity, though as we’ve seen, scholars note that Christianity influenced Norse Mythology. 

Thus, Jesus wasn’t based on Odin.

Jesus isn’t mythology.

Jesus is reality.

Jesus is Lord and Savior.  

Sources: 

“The Ultimate Encyclopedia of Mythology” by Arthur Cotterell and Rachel Storm, 186-87, 190-91, 199, 210, 216-17, 220, 228, 246-248, 252-53 

“The Prose Edda” by Snorri Sturluson (Translated with introduction by Jesse L. Byock, ix-xiv, 11-18, 24-25, 30-32, 46-48, 50-52, 65-75, 116, 119-22

“The Poetic Edda” Translated by Lee M. Hollander, ix-x, 36-37 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/history/ancient/vikings/religion_01.shtml

“Myths of the Norsemen: From the Eddas and Sagas” by H.A. Guerber, 3-7, 16-18, 22-26, 30-34, 329-37 

“The Other Side of History: Daily Life in the Ancient World” Documentary series by Professor Robert Garland, episode 38 (”Being a Viking Raider).

“The Other Side of History: Daily Life in the Ancient World: Course Guidebook” by Professor Robert Garland, 262

https://www.ancient.eu/odin/

https://www.google.com/books/edition/The_Vikings_and_Their_Age/AA7YBgAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=Odin+Thor+Freyr+three&pg=PA102&printsec=frontcover%C2%A0  

https://www.google.com/books/edition/Favorite_Norse_Myths/8ia337txkBAC?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=Balder%2Bodin%2Bfavorite%2Bson&pg=PA5&printsec=frontcover

https://www.britannica.com/topic/Odin-Norse-deity

“The Story of Christianity: 2000 Years of Faith” by Michael Collins and Matthew A. Price, 28-29

“In the Footsteps of Jesus: A Chronicle of His Life and the Origins of Christianity” by Jean-Pierre Isbouts, 263-67

“The Portable Seminary: A Master’s Level Overview in One Volume” by David Horton (General Editor), 281

“Holman Illustrated Bible Dictionary: Completely Revised, Updated and Expanded” by Chad Brand, Charles Draper and Archie England (General editors), 79-81

“Zondervan’s Pictorial Bible Dictionary” by Merrill C. Tenney, General Editor, 49-50

https://sirtravisjacksonoftexas.tumblr.com/post/628627120722198529/was-jesus-a-mythical-figure-based-on-the-norse-god

https://sirtravisjacksonoftexas.tumblr.com/post/629088091319255040/is-jesus-a-mythical-figure-based-on-the-norse-god

https://sirtravisjacksonoftexas.tumblr.com/post/628113211750776832/do-supposed-parallels-between-the-gospels-and

“Encyclopedia of the Gods: Over 2,500 Deities of the World” by Michael Jordan, 196-97

[justfortay]

Folklore is one big breakup song with public life, theory

I think the TS8/ Folklore album is one big metaphor for her breakup from public life or at least an announcement of taking a long sabbatical...as well as a few nods to her engagement, or even quarantine marriage. I’ve included the lyrics below that support this theory, as well as some small explanations. The lyrics in large part, speak for themselves. Song titles are in bold. 

the one

“But we were something, don't you think so? Roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool.”

Could reference her twenties, which were all in the public eye. 

“In my defense, I have none For never leaving well enough alone But it would've been fun If you would've been the one”

Could mean she kept pushing the envelope on her career, which catapulted her to success, and ridicule. 

“Having adventures on your own You meet some woman on the Internet and take her home”

New artists are now found on the internet...the music industry has changed so much during her time as an artist.

“We never painted by the numbers, baby But we were making it count”

She has never played by the rules of the music industry. 

“You know the greatest loves of all time are over now.”

Her relationship with the music industry, one of the best of all time, is ending.

“Persist and resist the temptation to ask you If one thing had been different Would everything be different today?”

“In my defense, I have none For digging up the grave another time“.

Possible reflections on lessons learned during her time?

my tears ricochet

“if I'm on fire You'll be made of ashes, too. “

If she goes down, others in the music industry do too. 

Even on my worst day Did I deserve, babe All the hell you gave me? 'Cause I loved you I swear I loved you 'Til my dying day.”

She didn’t deserve everything the media/industry put her through, but she still loved/loves music.

“I didn't have it in myself to go with grace”

She didn’t want to leave the way she is, but she Is.

“And if I'm dead to you why are you at the wake? Cursing my name Wishing I stayed”

The music industry has wanted her out but wanted her back.

“We gather stones Never knowing what they'll mean Some to throw Some to make a diamond ring”

Music industry throwing the stones....diamond ring for her marriage. 

“And I can go anywhere I want Anywhere I want Just not home”

Home has always been where she can sing/play music for her fans. 

“And you can aim for my heart, go for blood But you would still miss me in your bones”

If she leaves the industry, those that made money off of her will want her back. “And when you can't sleep at night You hear my stolen lullabies“

Stolen lullabies are all the songs Scooter Braun/Big Machine took.

mirrorball

@bethpines1-blog​‘s theory on reddit I think hit the nail on the head for this one. 

https://www.reddit.com/r/TaylorSwift/comments/hxobln/theory_mirrorball_is_taylors_song_for_her_fans/fz7lkge?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

"Standing on my tallest tip-toes, dancing in my highest heels love, shining just for you" reminds me so much of her on tour. How she used to dance for us in those astonishingly high heels every night.”-@bethpines

"I know they said the end is near" sounds like she is aware that most people don't expect her career to live on for very long now that she has reached her 30s.-@bethpines

"But I'm still on my tallest tip-toes, dancing in my highest heels love, shining just for you" sounds so haunting in the fact that despite everything she is still trying and still dancing and still going on with the show despite it all.-@bethpines

The melancholy sound of the empty club mirrorball seems to take place in is so sad. It sounds like she thinks she is on her last leg, the last seconds of her five minutes of fame. Yet she keeps on dancing, just for us.-@bethpine

“And they called off the circus, burned the disco down

When they sent home the horses and the rodeo clowns I’m still on that tightrope I’m still trying everything to get you laughing at me I’m still a believer, but I don’t know why I’ve never been a natural, all I do is try, try, try I’m still on that trapeze I’m still trying everything to keep you looking at me”

this is me trying

“I've been having a hard time adjusting I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting

This sounds like she was on top of the music world but is now getting older.

“I didn't know if you'd care if I came back I have a lot of regrets about that“

She didn’t know if anyone would care if share came back after Kim & Kayne tried to cancel her. 

“They told me all of my cages were mental So I got wasted like all my potential.”

This represents how she felt during all the Kayne drama. 

“And my words shoot to kill when I'm mad I have a lot of regrets about that.”

Possible regrets from her time in the industry.

“I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere Fell behind all my classmates and I ended up here“

She has talked about how she was never a “cool kid” in high school, but now she’s one of the most famous people on the planet. 

illicit affairs

“Make sure nobody sees you leave Hood over your head Keep your eyes down”

Could mean she doesn’t want everyone knowing when she leaves the public eye. 

“What started in beautiful rooms Ends with meetings in parking lots“

Could reference how she’s “breaking up” with public life. 

“So you leave no trace behind Like you don't even exist”

Could mean that she wants to slip away like Meg Ryan did from the spotlight and just live her life. 

“A drug that only worked The first few hundred times”

Could mean that the “high” she gets from music may not be worth living in the public eye anymore?

“Don't call me kid Don't call me baby Look at this idiotic fool that you made me You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else And you know damn well For you I would ruin myself A million little times”

Could mean that she would give anything for her managers & label at one point, but not anymore. 

mad woman

I think this song is particularly for Scooter Braun & Big Machine. 

“Every time you call me crazy I get more crazy What about that? And when you say I seem angry, I get more angry And there's nothing like a mad woman What a shame she went mad No one likes a mad woman You made her like that And you'll poke that bear till her claws come out And you find something to wrap your noose around And there's nothing like a mad woman”

“Now I breathe flames each time I talk My cannons all firing at your yacht They say "move on" But you know I won't And women like hunting witches, too Doing your dirtiest work for you”

These lyrics speak volumes. 

the lakes

I think this whole song is about taking a sabbatical with Joe & especially with her mom (her mother now having her third bout of cancer).

“Is it romantic how all my elegies Eulogize me?”

Eulogies are given at funerals...again, her funeral from the public eye?

“I'm not cut out for all these cynical clones These hunters with cellphones. Take me to the lakes, where all the poets went to die I don't belong, and my beloved, neither do you Those Windermere peaks look like a perfect place to cry I'm settin' off, but not without my muse.”

Again, the industry has changed and with social media, everything she does is scrutinized. Could mean she’s not feelin’ this life anymore. 

“What should be over, burrowed under my skin In heart-stopping waves of hurt.”

Could mean she’s still processing years of scrutiny from the press. 

“I've come too far to watch some name-dropping sleaze Tell me what are my Wordsworth”

Could be another reference to Scooter Braun/Big Machine.

“A red rose grew up out of ice frozen ground

With no one around to tweet it While I bathe in cliffside pools with my calamitous love And insurmountable grief”

This seems like grief about leaving the music industry.

And lastly....

From the one, “Been saying "Yes" instead of "No" “.....I think she may have taken some vows during quarantine.

From hoax 

“Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in Don't want no other shade of blue But you”

Meaning, Joe is nothing but faithful...and we know blue is the color she uses to reference him.

“No other sadness in the world would do”...could be sadness because of leaving music for a while?

I heard this from a friend’s sister, so I’m not sure where it originated, but the first word of the first song on the album is “I” and the last word of the last song is “do”. 

Let me know what you think! There is definitely a break up theme in this album, but she hasn’t broken up with Joe. Do you agree that the breakup could be with living a public life?

[vrenaewrites]

CARAVAL thoughts:

FULL VIDEO HERE.

Confession: I DNFed caraval about 2 years ago. I even included this book in a video called “reading 5 star reviews of books I hate” (either screen record and insert the clip from that vid or link in the cards skip to like 6:40 or both)

 Chapter 1

We open with letters that our main character Scarlett has written to the caraval master Legend

She really wants him to come to her island but he hasn’t 

She finally gets one back with three tickets for her Tella and her fiancé 

Chapter 2

Scarlett’s feelings came in colors “urgent red of burning coals, frenzied yellow of a flapping bird’s feathers” 

She goes to tell her sister Tella and finds her making out with a dude lol 

Julian is his name 

The edges of the paper “blazed a shimmery gold, the color of magic and wishes and promises of the things to come”

Tella hates the count Scarlett is betrothed to but Scarlett wants to leave their home so bad she doesn’t care who she ends up with 

“Gods teeth!” Is the expletive…

The prize of caraval is one wish 

They have to leave the isle within 3 days which would be impossible before getting married 

Tella’s lips “shifted from broken to unbreakable” NO

Last time they left Scarlett’s dad did something terrible to her

Julian offers to smuggle them to the island for caraval on his sailor ship (pirate ship??)

“Goldenrod desire lit up inside her”

Wishes were about as real as unicorns

Their dad shows up with gloves “the shade of bruises” 

Tella accuses Scarlett of hooking up with Julian RUDE!!!!

And Julian agrees!

Ohh because the dad beats the other sister so they’re trying to protect each other by accusing each other 

Her marriage is 10 days away

Chapter 3

Her fathers perfume smelled like the color of his gloves 

Julian decides to take them off the isle for free after witnessing this 

Tella says if she leaves she will never return 

“Her world was a grand game board, and her father believed this marriage would be his penultimate move”

“More than your sisters face will bleed” is their dad assaulting them?? Did I just gloss over that when reading this the first time??

“Weather worn white archways” loved 

Governor dragna sounds like judge frollo 

Their mom disappeared 7 years ago - abandoned them 

They have priests and piety and the devil but they don’t use the BC AD calendar instead going by seasons and rulers...why

Chapter 4

She felt the lie from childhood “sneaking into her slippers and moving between her toes” no you didn’t

“A broken dock like a massive tongue jutted out to stones that reminded Scarlett if uneven teeth” 

It was nights like these she could smell the moon - I wrote taste at first and taste fits better imo

A friend tried to help them escape once and the governor drowned him for it, Tella didn’t know about this 

She meets Julian here at midnight and barters all 3 tickets to keep him from helping Tella escape 

Julian and Tella ambush her and knock her out 

Chapter 5

“A pock marked moon winked in the glass”

She has a dream about their nana telling them how legend got his name 

First of all, legend is a bad dumb name and you should feel bad about it, Stephanie Garber. Caraval is also a bad name. 

He was in love with a woman named Annalise and would perform at a coronation to earn her fathers respect, but he needed a witch to grant him a wish of talent 

He had to choose between fame and love

So his name is legend because his magic is legendary? How tf did John legend not sue over this?

“Behind her a cloud drifted over the moon, covering all but two tiny points of light, which hovered behind her silver hair like devil’s horns” love this visual 

I’m calling it now, we’re getting this flashback because somehow, the dragna sisters are related to Annalise or remind legend of Annalise and this is why Tella gets taken 

Chapter 6

She wakes up in a rowboat with Julian after 2 days which is always a good way to pass the 2 days journey it takes without having to make anything happen lol I respect it 

Julian calls her crimson instead of Scarlett - hated it then hate it now 

Trees “rose toward the sky like massive emeralds” and the waterfall “streamed down like melted peacock feathers” no it didn’t because that makes no sense 

Legends private island is called the island of dreams in Spanish 

Tella has set up a kidnapping so Scarlett can go back without getting In trouble

“The image of a purple fire breathing dragon came to mind, coating her vision with ashy shades of anxiety”

I remember stopping very shortly after this and now I remember why - I can do purple prose but DAMN 

Their mom had “vanished taking nothing with her, she disappeared like a broken star leaving the world untouched, save for the missing bits of light but no one would ever see again” Good purple prose 

We get some backstory on how her Nana was more involved after her mother left, and we get to hear again about how great her stories are, even though we just spent a chapter getting that first hand from a flashback

She barters with herself to stay only one day and then go home for her wedding 

There’s a hole in the boat so they swim but she didn’t take her dresses off so she starts to drown

“You deserve this” because of Phillippe, like hands the water pressed her down down down 

Julian saved her and cuts off her dress which she finds very intense 

Chapter 7

So much description of the snowy frosting sand pick one

I get that it’s a magical island but every descriptor up until the sand made it sound like a tropical paradise, and then suddenly the sand is snow and there’s ice and snow on the trees which were just giant emeralds so I’m confused

Because being wet and cold is more scary 

“ The snow on the rooftops rested like dust on abandoned storybooks“

A very diagon alley sitch where there are magical stores but none are open...because it’s caraval guys. They’re at the games 

They go into a clock shop where there are clothes waiting along with food roses and a note from legend 

They change and she sees awful scars on his hot muscly back 

Her dress is lame despite every YA trope about the heroine having a princess moment, that’s fun: just kidding it changed colors and shape to fit her perfect 

And Julian’s outfit is super hot 

He stole a pocket watch 

Scarlett was a pretty girl but she tried to hide it, her eyes were too honest, no one noticed girls in ugly clothes 

“Scarlet wondered if she had found a way to escape her fathers deadly games only to become a well costumed piece on a new game board” no shit Scarlett you came to the island for the game…

Also you were in such a hurry to find Tella and get into the game before it was too late and now you’re waxing poetic about how hot Julian is and how you’re hot but you don’t wanna be 

Chapter 8

“Sage shaded colors of suspicion” I really hate this device she’s using. I’ve used it to describe the colors my mind reading characters see in people's minds. But it’s like twice a book, maybe, to express extreme emotion. Not every time your feelings change. 

Some guy comes in and offers them a portal into caraval and Scarlett is like “sure thing” and Julian is like “ummm dumdum” and he leaves 

The guys like “oh you just gonna listen to that random guy?” And I’m like as opposed to you, another random guy?

He wants her voice okay Ursula 

“A passionate sky made of melting lemons and burning peaches” or say yellows and oranges…

“Until the door was no more” love this, sounds very fairy tale 

She leaves and it's like night already, she only has til midnight 

Scarlett and Julian get in by him pretending to be the count, her fiancé 

They take the path of the players, not the watchers

Chapter 9

“A panicked Vermillion moved inside of her chest as she thought of how specific legends letter had been”

Julian admits he’s played caraval before and Scarlett is like *gasp* but HELLO how did you think he knew all the shit he knew?

He keeps calling her crimson like every time he speaks to her, annoying 

“Julian’s smile turned seductive, all shameless curves and immoral promises” 

Chapter 10

“Soft golden lights licked her arms with gentle kisses of warmth”

I’m very bored when this house is supposed to be EVERYTHING

The guy who was giving them the rules says, “don’t let your eyes or feelings trick you” And then jumps off the balcony and Scarlet freaks out… He just told you not to trust what you see

Scarlett is the most annoying person

Their instructions are to get to the end by sunrise or they’ll be locked out in the streets, but she’s wasting time wanting to look for her sister - and Julian is telling her that her sister is probably staying at the same place and she doesn’t believe him despite the fact that he’s already done this game before, just trust him???

“A searing green door watched Scarlet like a glowing eye”

This just made me figure out why I don’t like that she’s using colors as an emotional device, because the main character is named after a color, and so it’s just way too many color descriptors

Julian got trapped outside noooo

Chapter 11

But it’s fine because she tells the innkeeper they’re guests of legend - which they are - and he’s let in. Great. Glad there are no stakes. They also used legends name to get the boat to the inn for free. 

The hallways in the inn “smelled like the end of the night, sweat and fading fire smoke mixed with lingering breath from words whose ghosts still haunted the air” no

Julian was “poison in an attractive bottle”

Their rooms are actually one room oops

Chapter 12

“But legend saw all during caraval”

She got a message from legend: it’s a key with tella’s name on it 

Lmao tella is having sex behind that door for sure 

“She felt five different shades of berry colored foolish” this is so stupid 

Every time something happens between tella and scar, we get a whole expository moment about how this is related to their mother or their father or the relationship between the sisters… We know. we can tell. we are not stupid.

“Warmth licking her cheek” this metaphor is too specific to keep using it

Some tattooed dude finds her - Dante - and is like “sleep in my room”

He asks her out but she declines because the count 

Damn her dress has transformed to be like see through which is why he was into her lmao 

She has a dream that legend is a creep lol

Chapter 13

Scarlett totally changes her tune re: enjoying herself 

She passes tella’s room and finds a wreck 

“Feathers covered the carnage as if a rebel Angel had gone mad” this is so dumb 

The key she got with tella’s name was a clue, that other people also got 

A pregnant girl offers to help scarlet, and a man steals scarlets favorite earrings from her mother 

Then the pregnant girl steals that stuff 

She realizes there’s a postcard in tella’s room that isn’t hers

Chapter 14

Tella only loved mermaids, and the postcard is of a castle, which was Scarlett’s thing 

The castle is a place on the isle that Julian recognizes 

Dante shows up and Julian is like hell nah 

Dante won last time Julian was here and it cost him a lot

“Shops wrapped in colors like a birthday presents, cerulean blue apricot orange saffron yellow primrose pink while the canals remained midnight dark” SHUT UP dude

This woman got like a color wheel or a color dictionary for her birthday the year she wrote this book 

Time moves fast in the castle 

What’s really annoying about this book is Stephanie Garber spends a lot of time talking about things that are boring, and one sentence on something like hummingbird-sized elephants and tigers

There’s a kissing tent and she’s like fuck yeah let’s go there

You’re engaged

Julian sees where she’s looking and is like yeah??

A tingle of periwinkle curiosity

Chapter 15

She goes into the tent of a half naked dude who could tell her fortune 

This is all very boring 

He has incense that makes people tell the truth and she admits Julian is the hottest guy ever 

She asks what’s the man she will marry really like? 

He’s not a good person 

She’s covered in only pictures he can see instead of pictures only he can see…

She had 2 questions but the way she asked used them up so she doesn’t get to ask about tella 

Chapter 16

He tells her to follow the boy with the heart made of black...obviously Dante, she thinks Julian 

She walks into a potion tent and finds an elixir of protectio

She mentions her father and feels “anise and lavender and rotting plums”

She describe the woman who works in the potion tent as having “bottle green” eyes, but this entire paragraph has the word bottle in it like 1 million times because shes describing a tent full of potions...all these colorful words you’ve used and this is where you use “bottle green”

I don’t mind the descriptor, my own eyes are bottle green, it’s very vivid, but badly placed 

She chases Julian to a decrepit garden with a fountain, and sees a glass button

She also saw a glass button in tella’s room...is this how legend spies on her? Is this where tella is being kept?

“Dreary yellow hopelessness” infected her

She sees the symbol of caraval inside the fountain and touches it, revealing a staircase 

Someone screamed as hot and bright as fire 

It’s madness tunnels 

The inn “smells of laughter and boasts laced with sweetened ale” this doesn’t make seeeeeennnnnnnnse

She finds Julian, but it’s actually Dante and he’s mean to her and she cries but it makes her mad at Julian?????? Stupid 

Chapter 17

Julian finally shows up, super bloody but he just had a head wound

She cleans him up and is getting super horny lol 

He got her earrings back!!!!!

The fire dies sending up a plume of smoke “the color of things better said in whispers” 

She tells him about the tunnels and he says legend treats his prisoners like guests 

Julian’s eyes are the color of “caramel and liquid amber lust”

He almost kisses her and then seems to wake up, leaves and “disappointment wraps around her in cool shades of forget me not blue” STOP

Chapter 18

She wakes up to white roses with red tips 

Julian is supposed to meet her but doesn’t 

A girl shows up “pretty as a watercolor and dressed as bold as a trumpet” DUDE

“Oh poor you, here you are on a magical island, and all you can think of is what you don’t have” get her!

Dante shows up and she realizes he has a black heart tattoo which DUH SCARLETT

chapter 19

The night is “brittle, crisp like the first bite of a chilled apple, smelling just as sweet with hints of burnt sugar weaving through the charcoal night air” THIS IS GOOD PURPLE PROSE! I can taste this!!!!!!!

She’s chasing Dante and finds a cider seller who’s drink will help her see things more clearly, the price is her last lie 

She drinks it and loses the color in her vision 

The game is constantly working against you?????? How?! You’ve stumbled across tons of clues without any work and there are no believable stakes to this game, this drink is the first time you’ve had a struggle…

Iko holds a journal that’s brownish green, “the color of forgotten memories, abandoned dreams, and bitter gossip”

Even in black and white we get this heavy handed color shit 

She realizes anything in color is important

She also sees the red roses on a carousel and the red cravat on a mans neck 

He makes her feel perilous shades of silky black - is Stephanie Garner an artist? Does she have synesthesia or something?? What is with this device!!!!

She looks in Iko’s book and sees pictures of her, the special guest

Sour shades of yellow green made her stomach roil with trepidation - HUH????

She’s like “why would he make the game about me?” You’ve been begging him to bring you caraval your entire life, why do you think? 

I think I remember the nana saying annelise had blonde hair, and so does tella...are they related to her? Is she nana? 

Iko tells her the notebook also holds all the true stories of caraval

Iko will give her the notebook if Scarlett will buy 2 dresses because the changing dress bothers her (??)

Iko takes her to a dress shop where the dresses are “the color of late night laughter, early morning sunshine, and waves crashing around ankles” 

The dresses cost nightmares or secrets or fears

She owes her worst fear and greatest desire, or she can pay 2 days of her life per dress 

It works but her greatest desire isn’t to find her sister, so she pays with 2 days of her life, not at the end of her life but at the end of caraval 

“Panic came in hemlock green, the color of poison and terror” 

“Something acidic and moldy and burnt bubbled up in Scarlett’s throat - the taste of death” like this 

Scarlett’s body dies but her mind will exist in a dream world 

Chapter 20

Dante finds her and drags her into the inn 

Julian hits Dante because he won’t let her go hell yeah

She tells him what happened 

Julian tried to give Scarlett a day of his life by having her drink his blood from his finger and she’s like “I wanna fuck this duuuude”

“His voice is so gentle, made of gentle” I liked this 

Then he drinks her blood from her finger, and the world shatters into a million shards of colored glass 

He lays down with her and holds her while she dies

Chapter 21

Death was the color purple.

She sees tella in the dream world, and tella has a huge dark book that swallows her and Scarlett 

They see young nana in a house similar to the one they entered at caraval, entwined with a young man

Her grandma is Anneliese DUH

Then she’s at the funeral of the woman who died at caraval before

Rosa was in love with legend and he rejected her so she killed herself 

Dante was rosa’s fiancée 

Legend is julian?!?!?

Loved This entire chapter but then it means nothing because none of this is real it’s all part of the game so it’s not really story development

Chapter 22

They both wake up 

Scarlett tries to convince herself the game is messing with her 

Then she remembers what the dream people said about legend loving to make girls fall for him 

She has a grey streak in her hair now 

Her dad is there!

She finally puts it together - her nana is anneliese 

“She could see the sting of her rejection in shades of stormy blue ghosting over his heart like sad morning mist” roll my eyes

But then she remembers that he gave a day of his life for her and is like why would he do that if he was legend 

 Now she’s changed her mind, so she goes after Julian to find him leaving Dante’s room and walking into tella’s 

She goes in after him to hide from her dad but the room is empty 

She finds another secret staircase like the fountain 

She trips over Dante’s dead body and finds Julian standing over it 

Chapter 23

Julian grabs her and is like “I didn't kill him, we were working together” 

He shows her a white rose tattoo he has, Rosa was his sister!!

She asks why he had been acting weird and he basically says he didn’t want to have feelings for her because that wasn’t why he had come to caraval 

Scarlett is like let’s get this fucker back, but she hears her dad’s footsteps in the tunnel  

Chapter 24

They start running, and they hide in a weird alcove from her dad that starts to squish them

She realizes it’s feeding off their fear so they relax and it lets them out

They end up in the sand tunnel and Scarlett is like how could you know I was going to caraval if you were already at our island when I got my tickets 

Julian explains that legend is punishing the descendants of anneliese and he invited her to caraval to stop the wedding

Legend had never responded until she signed her full name on the last letter, mentioning her wedding 

Julian is the fucking count dude calling it 

“His steady gaze reached out to the broken parts of her like a caress, a type of touch that moved through damaged flesh, past fractured bones and into a person's wounded soul.” WOW

Scarlett hears tella’s voice and almost runs straight off a cliff

“Tella loved danger the same way candle wicks loved to burn. It never seemed to scare her that some of the things she lusted for might consume her like a flame” Christ 

Julian knew tella would be taken during caraval 

Chapter 25

She had to find tella before legend consumed her like a flame burning a candle” you just used a candle metaphor like one page ago my dude. 

She gives herself one minute to cry and scream and Julian hears her so he barges in, worried 

He apologizes and she gives him the grace I’ve been waiting for as soon as he said he knew what would happen to tella: he had to avenge his sister. Everything they’re both doing is for their sisters, she should be more understanding 

Julian is “all kinds of tragic and lovely”

The box was “flat black, the color of failure and funerals” shut UP

Like if you wanna use the color device to describe your protagonists feelings stop being so fucking flowery with every single color in the book it is soooooooooooooooo distracting

It’s the other dress Scarlett has bought but now it’s white

Chapter 26

There’s a note in the box from legend that makes “invisible spiders crawl over her skin” ok 

She thinks the dress is the 5th clue - the buttons on the dress reminds her of the buttons leading to the hat store 

Chapter 27

They go to the top hat place and Julian is like “this is all wrong” 

Iko appears looking like “a teardrop the moon had cried” love it

She tells them not to go into the hat shop 

Let me guess, despite both of these omens Scarlett is still gonna go in 

“Scarlett had an emerald green premonition that she would make a discovery inside” sure why tf not gotta keep the story moving somehow 

She sees the store owner and was like LEGEND and he’s like nah dude I’m just wearing a hat 

But he is the guy that was wearing the red cravat and eyepatch from the day her vision went gray 

He is the count!!!!!

Chapter 28

Nicholas Darcy 

And her dad is there!!!!!!!!!!

Julian gets her out but the count chases her and they get on a boat 

She sees her dad and he looks afraid but she blames it on the rain 

They row to the castle and Julian convinces her to get inside to hide from the lightning 

And they argue about if she’s still planning marrying the count and she’s torn which hurts him 

He says “are you sure you want this?” Before kissing her and like is it a consent thing or is it him asking if he’s what she wants either way I love it 

“The boy who had saved her from drowning in more ways than one” explain…

They kiss and “every touch created colors she had never seen” that’s so anticlimactic 

Chapter 29

The stones fall through the hourglass like “drops of falling rose petals” that makes no sense but we have to include it because...

She finally realizes the roses that have been EVERYWHERE are part of the game duh 

She takes Julian to the fountain where the tunnel entrance is

She feels ochre shades of uneasy

Only NOW she’s giving pause at the idea of winning because she could wish them safe...shoulda been your goal all along. Should have been equally as important as finding tella since if you find her you win the wish….I’m signing heavily atm 

The governor and the count are there!!!!! 

Swear to god if Julian dies I’m going to fucking riot 

She wants to split up but Julian is like fuck no 

The count catches up to her and the governor pulls her by her hair up the stairs 

He punches her in the stomach to warn Julian and she gets back up, with the count trying to protect Scarlett

“A slick mud colored feeling coated Scarlett’s insides” because the governor is holding a knife to Julian’s throat

He cuts Julian’s face NOOOOOO

The governor takes Julian to his room and let’s the count sleep in Scarlett’s room because “he’s already paid for her, he can enjoy her a few days early”

Scarlett stands up to her dad!!!! And then she remembers tella’s words: what if the count is worse?

Scarlett tells the count if she makes her dad stop, she’ll be a good wife but if he doesn’t she will never be his obedient wife 

“Do you really want a bride who will only sleep with you because someone will be tortured if she doesn’t?” YES

Chapter 30

The count is like “listen I am NOT like your dad I’m sorry” and she’s like yeah but you’re not Julian 

The count starts undressing and Scarlett aims a poker at his eyeball lmao 

She finally remembers the elixir of protection in that dress from the tent and soaks the count 

The count is like “you’re playing into legends hands” and Scarlett is like “nah he did me a favor by getting rid of you”

Chapter 31

Julian’s cut isn’t that deep thank god but he’s still woozy 

“He tasted like midnight and wind”

Leap of faith - roses - it’s Rosa!!!!! She has to ask how Rosa died and Julian says she jumped off a balcony 

They decide to sneak out using the tunnels to go search all the balconies

Chapter 32

The town during the day looks like a “faded memory”

She hears music from the rose colored carousel 

The musician has been asking for coins the whole time but nothing else cost money

They jump onto the moving carousel and end up in the roses where Scarlett finds the caraval symbol

They have to jump, Julian gives her coordinates to a boat in case they get separated but they run out of time and she has to go in 

She lands in a river and lands at a staircase guarded with statues that are definitely frozen people 

Legend is there ofc 

Chapter 33

She’s a little star struck by legend 

His laugh is a rich spicy sound that echoes until he snaps his fingers 

Homeboy is mad 

Julian ends up there, dry, and...he’s working with legend...NOOOOOOO

Dante and Valentina were also part of the game 

Rosa was not his sister...DUDE

She clutches his pocket watch and legend opens it - Julian’s voice comes out apologizing for betraying her 

He does love her HE IS ENCHANTED!!!!!

LEGEND STABS JULIAN?!?!?!?!?!?

Oh fuck he is spitting blood oh fuck oh no 

Scarlett you got him killed you dumdum 

Chapter 34

I’m FUCKING FURIOUS 

she remembers that she gets one wish, and she wants to use it to bring Julian back and I swear to goooooddddddd if he doesn’t come back I’m gonna throw myself out the window 

Legend is gone, leaving a funeral invitation for tella set for tomorrow this guy is a MONSTER

Chapter 35

She ends up on a huge rooftop way high up 

“The air felt soft and poisonous” 

Tella is there feeling like “softness and sunlight and seeds for growing dreams”

We just used soft a sentence ago!!!!

Tella is like “you’re confused, the game is playing tricks on you”

Scarlett tells her about their grandmas history with legend 

She shows tella the invitation and it now says it’s to a party not a funeral

Chapter 36

Tella has met a boy that’s not legend...it’s a guy she met right before she got taken for the game…

She’s engaged to him??

Scarlett is like maybe tella is right and this is all part of it...Scarlett DUDE 

Scarlett has a bitter yellow puddle of dread in her stomach 

If Daniel is Dante or Julian I’m gonna scream 

Chapter 37

It’s legend of course 

Duh 

He tries to convince tella to tie Scarlett up you better NOT

TELLA

YOU DUMB BITCH

legend dares Scarlett to walk to the edge of the balcony to prove she loves her sister, so that he can feign worry to tella

They tie her up 

The governor and the count show up FUCK

finally legend admits to tella who he is and she just breaks poor baby 

Tella backs up to the ledge and says if the governor or the count touch Scarlett she’ll kill herself!!!!!!!

“Silver slippers sliding” toward the balcony 

Scarlett breaks free but tella FUCKING JUMPS

Chapter 38

So now who is Scarlett gonna use her wish on?!

Her father looks like “a dragon with no fire and broken wings”

The governor slaps Jovan and legend is like imma fuck you UP 

The governor killed Dante!!!!!!

She blackmails her dad with Philippe’s death 

She remembers her wish...but who does she use it on?! 

Which oof, oof, OOF

Tella is a brat lmao 

Legend won’t give her the wish!!!!!

He’s...fading?? 

Scarlett goes to give tella her blood 

She wishes her impossible wish but it doesn’t work

Chapter 39

She goes back up to get tella’s stuff and finds a caraval box with a letter inside from tella to legend that she didn’t know about 

Chapter 40

She goes to see legend and finds out he’s actually some dude named Caspar…that was why he couldn’t grant her wish 

There’s a stack of letter between tella and legend that basically illustrate that tella was willing to die for legend to get them to caraval 

Tella is alive?!?!?!?!?!?

This was all a fucking game?!

Her impossible wish came true, but she had actually died 

Tella orchestrated their dad getting to caraval so he could see her die, and so he would leave Scarlett alone 

Chapter 41

So Julian is not really dead, but tella wanted anyone who made Scarlett love them to be taken out, that way she wouldn’t get hurt by someone who was just pretending 

So she somehow warps this into meaning that Julian didn’t actually love her? Go...ask him??????? The fuck 

God poor Scarlett…

So people can die in caraval, but when the game is over, they come back...so there were no fuckin stakes except for tella’s death

Chapter 42

They go to legends party in the forest and Scarlett sees Julian 

Iko is there like go talk to Julian dumdum 

“Shades of the rich ruby love she’d felt mixed with deep indigo hurt turning everything just a little bit violet” I don’t care I want them to kiss Stephanie 

Julian is so hurt that she thinks she doesn’t know him

He’s related to legend…

Rosa dying changed his opinion of legend 

He tried to leave the game right before this caraval 

Legend is his brother!!!!!!!!!

He couldn’t leave Scarlett because she loved her sister like Julian loved his brother 

He stayed because of Scarlett despite how it hurt him to lie to her 

Yaaaaaay they kiss yay omg 

Epilogue

Tella is dancing drunk at the party and is dancing with a new guy who dances her to the edge of the party...then he’s gone?

He dropped something into her pocket...a coin with a note…

From legend!!!!!

You can see your mom soon if you keep up your end of the bargain!!!!!

[shyinadarkplace]

Bucky are you still there?

Summary: When their Soul bond is broken, the reader unable to bear the pain tries to end it all. The only question is will Bucky make in time to save her?  (Please be kind this is my very first time publishing a work)

Pairing: Bucky x reader. *I do not own Bucky Barnes or Sebastian Stan or any of his works*

Word count: 5k (I am sorry I might have gotten carried away)

Back ground info: This is an AU where there are Soulmates. If the connection between soul mates is somehow broken the mates have usually at max four years before everything gets unbearable. Also Tony is alive.

Prompt: Mountains/Forest and the song “Jealous” by Labyrinth. I also included another song “Dark side of me” by Coheed and Cambria. There is also an original poem by me in there.  *I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION TO USE ANY OF MY WORK AS A WHOLE OR IN PART, IN ANYWAY, ON ANY PLATFORM. *

Warnings: Proceed with caution. TRIGGER WARNING: There is mention of blood, extreme depression, suicidal thought and tendencies. That’s all I can think of, but please if you need help with any of the above mentioned things https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/  1-800-273-8255.  Please please reach out.

Title: Bucky are you still there?

Outside a winter storm raged deep in the Taiga, and while you were warm physically inside you felt just like that storm. You felt like the swirling mass of ice and snow, like the -54° C that currently raged outside your home. The added fire that sat blazing in front of you did little to assuage the pain that wracked through your chest. The ring on your hand glinted in the firelight. A familiar wave of heartbreak began crashing through you, even after all this time. When the much too familiar tears fell, another layer of ice layered around your heart. You stared into the fire and let your mind wander where it would, allowing your grief take its course.

Memory of your first meeting:

There was a pull in deepest part of your being. A tingling in the back of your mind. He was close. You could feel him brush across your consciousness like a gentle rain, and you returned the gesture. The room seemed to full of people why did Stark tower feel so crowded today? All you could do was stand frozen where you were running up a metaphorical flag screaming here I am. Your eyes quested searching desperately for someone doing the same, for the one who turned your spark into a firestorm. Suddenly there he was. Your eyes met and suddenly it was like you were falling, but gently, into warm blue eyes, into dark strands of hair and stubbly jawline. In man and muscle. Falling into him. Your feet were moving before you even realized it. Standing face to face with him, you felt like your heart was going to beat out of your chest “Hello, I’m (y/n). I have been waiting for you.) Your voice barely above a whisper almost afraid that if you spoke to loud it would somehow be just a dream. “Hello doll, my name is James Buchanan Barnes. I am so glad you waited.” Thus began your world wind love affair with the Winter Soldier, Bucky, White Wolf. And it was perfect. You two were perfect for each other been through so many of the same things. It was like you had discovered the theory of everything right then and there.

“6 years ago. Can you believe it Benji. Just six years ago Earth was upside down as a planet, but personally I was in heaven. I had met my soul mate.” The big wolf hound/wolf mix just laid his big black head on your lap, offering the silent comfort he always did. “We were married for three years. It was like magic.” A fresh batch of tears ran down your face. It had been 3 excruciating years. 3 years of feeling utterly alone. You had heard what it was like when someone lost their soulmate, it was like they were a zombie. They lost some of their humanity. It was like when a clinically depressed person masked, they looked and sounded fine for the most part but something was just off. Most of the time when one lost their soul mate they died too, unable to carry on without them or unwilling too. So many times you had been tempted to walk out in weather like this and let the Taiga take you. So many times you sat staring into the flames and thought about ending it all. After all there were thousands of ways to die. It had been 6 years since what the world came to call the Endgame. Since something had snapped inside Bucky during that battle and he had vanished. The end of the third long and bitter year was coming up, a person can only take so much.

Memory: You were probably 100 yards away from him when it happened. You could feel something wrong with Bucky, you had to get to him and help him. You got distracted next thing you knew a long thick metal rod had you staked to the ground. You couldn’t move it was embedded too far in the ground behind you. So you fought on like that, on the ground taking blasters and weapons from anything you fought with as the Super serum running through your veins kept you alive, easing the bleeding. You kept fighting hoping somehow you would be able to get up to get to Bucky. Hot tears streamed down your face and a scream ripped savagely from your throat as suddenly the constant connection that you had with Bucky was gone. It was like it had never existed. All you could feel was an iron wall. Utterly impenetrable. You couldn’t tell if it was just the limit of your consciousness or if it was him somehow cutting you off. Or if the worst had happened. Then the world went black.

When Steve found you, you had passed out from blood loss. You were in a coma for a week due to the severity of the wound but you remembered your dreams and they were sweet.

In your dreams it was just after you and Bucky had gotten married. A week to the day actually. You had curled up beside him and asked you could read him something you wrote. He didn’t need to say anything. All of his attention focused on you. A blush crept up your neck as you read what you had written.

“You always looked like trouble but the very best kind.

Even before I knew what you looked like.

You looked like everything I wanted at 16.18.20.26.

You looked like whiskey and smoke before I even knew the taste.

You looked like a hot rod idling at a stop light.

You looked like my addiction before it developed. Like my favorite kind of pain.

I don’t know how but I always just knew, that your eyes where blue. Blue. Such a cool tone. The kind that reminds you glaciers or ice cubes against passion heated skin. Like Blue flames, that seemed to sear clothes off with a glance, and pool fire in my belly. And when you smiled I really knew you were trouble then. But the best kind. The kind I couldn’t live without. The kind that kept me breathing. When you smiled at me the first time, I was yours.

The first time with you…oh god it was like nothing before. I had spent so many hours over the years before I met you, day dreaming about my fingers in your hair, your hands blazing trails of fire against my skin. Your lips crushed against mine…

By the time you placed your hand against my cheek and started kissing me, it was like you had kissed me a thousand times before. By the time your hands caressed my skin in expectant reverence (a shock to my system) it was as though your hands had always known my skin.

When I touched your skin, I was in awe at the newness of the sensation and yet it was so familiar. As I felt like your hands had always known my skin, I felt I had always known yours.

That first time didn’t feel like the first time. It felt like we had been together since the beginning of time. I didn’t need to question anything, because we knew each other so intimately words were not needed.

No need for words because I knew where to kiss you, as if some instinct worked within me. Knew where to touch. Knew how to kiss you wherever my lips landed. Knew when to bite and when to soothe. I knew it because you had always been mine. I was made for you.

No need for words because you knew, knew when to be gentle, when to be firm, knew everything you needed to get me high. With you it was natural as breathing. You brought me back to life the way a smith does a cold forge. With you it was the first time but it felt as though we had been there a thousand, thousand times before.

When I first saw you it all became real, I had already spent years falling in love with the idea of being with you. In the ease and comfort and debauchery of your presence. Suddenly every dream I had ever had about my soul mate blazed into existence.

You looked like my addiction when it formed, like my favorite kind of pain. You looked like someone I had loved a thousand, thousand times. “

You two had been so tangled up in each other it was hard to tell where he ended and you began, the line between him and you blurred. You were in complete bliss. At least while you were sleeping.

Steve was there when you woke up. As soon as you saw him and not Bucky your heart began to fracture. It looked like he had been crying, like he had not been to slept. Everything inside you went cold. Your mind reached out for Bucky, for the comfort of your soulmate and touched…nothing it was like he was dead. But he couldn’t be right? Even though you felt like you were dead, with the only sign that you were alive being the beeping of the monitors in the room, he couldn’t be, right? But that is what it felt like because there was just…nothing like the connection had never been. You tried again and again to push past whatever was stopping you but it was no use because there was nothing for you to grab on to. “(y/n) you have to stop pushing against that wall. It won’t help.” Steve’s voice broke and he took your hands. “It won’t help, he’s gone and…and we don’t know where he is or if he is gonna come back. So you…you have to stop pushing and focus on you right now.” He wiped the tears from your face and gave his best smile, though it did little to ease the pain “You have to be stronger than ever. I know that I am asking a lot. But you’re his best girl and you gotta be ready to kick his ass when he comes back.” All you could muster was a small twitch at the side of your mouth. “If …I was his best girl…why’d he leave me Stevie?” you whispered so softly he could barely hear but damn if it didn’t break his heart.

Then it was dark again. This time there were no comforting dreams. Steve sat there by your bed and let his chest heave as he cried quitely. He cried for a lot of reasons. After a while he stood up, and left the room for the first time in days. He knew he would have to be there for you if you were gonna make it so it was time to get cleaned up and eat something, maybe try to catch some sleep. There was a long road ahead.

It was a whole day later when you woke up again. Steve was sitting in the window of your hospital room. “Hey Stevie… see anything good out there?” He jumped at the sound of your voice and grinned at you. “Hey there sweetheart, how are you feeling?” he said softly coming to sit next you once again. He took your hand and when he squeezed gently, you squeezed back. You closed your eyes and took a few deep breaths. “Honestly? I feel like my insides have been scrubbed with sandpaper. I feel raw and bloody…I feel the most incredible pain and yet completely numb. But…” You paused trying to steady the sick feeling in your gut. You looked directly in Steve’s soft blue eyes and they offered a little comfort in their familiarity. “But…” you continued “I know I need to get out of this hospital bed. I need to regain my strength and take care of myself, because I know he is out there. I have to find him Stevie. Now I need you to tell me everything.” Steve nodded a slight grin coming to his face “I knew there was a reason you were meant for that punk. I will tell you everything but how about you shower, get changed and we get you some food first huh?” You sighed, it bothered you to put off the inevitable but you knew you probably smelled like a trash truck and you were hungry. So you did what Steve asked and you two had lunch together. For a couple hours you both pretended like all was right in the world.

When Steve finally started talking it sounded more like a debriefing and less like his best friend was missing, honestly though it was almost easier that way. Thinking of it like another mission rather than losing your soulmate. “Well, to be honest I can’t tell you a whole lot. All I know is that Buck and I were maybe 10 feet apart. Everything was fine. Everything was fine until it wasn’t. I can’t say what happened, one second I looked over and he was fine. He was Bucky. The next he was Winter Soldat. Then Tony snapped and the fighting stopped, but I lost sight of him. I guess once there was no enemy he just took off. We do know that he stole a Wakandan air ship, but he must have damaged enough of the important components to make it untraceable. We don’t know where he is. I can guarantee though that he learned from last time, we won’t be able to find him if he doesn’t want to be found.”

You took a deep breath eyes closed. The urge to just give up right then and there was almost overwhelming. You knew there were ways to kill a super soldier. Hell you had come pretty close to it in the past. “Sweetheart, don’t go there. We both know it won’t it won’t work.” Steve’s voice yanked you sharply from the dark thoughts that crept into your mind. You sighed “Yeah, I guess you are right Stevie.” There was nothing either of you could do, except move on. Survive.

After that you and Steve were as close as could be. When you couldn’t sleep you it always seemed like Steve was up to. If you needed comfort he was there. You did everything together. Both of you knew it wasn’t really healthy but at the same time it helped with the healing. You went to therapy and got mental help. You stayed combat ready. You continued blowing minds working with Tony and Shuri on tech. You picked up new hobbies like gardening, and painting and drawing. You did everything you could to keep yourself somewhat distracted from the hollowness that ate at you.

You never cried in front of anyone but Steve, but everyone knew. Even if they couldn’t hear the crying they could hear the music that came from your room. No matter the tune no one knocked when the soft static of your record player was on. You were living in the past, trying to cope the best way you could dancing alone to songs that you and Bucky loved. Listening to your past and his with every pop of the speaker. Sometimes Steve would stand outside your room with his head pressed against the door and just listen. He’d sway along with the music because it brought back memories for him too. Eventually he would feel guilty because he wanted nothing more than to go in and take you in his arms. Kiss you. Comfort you. Part of him believed that Bucky really was gone. Part of him didn’t think he even had a soul mate and he was so fucking lonely. But he never did. If anyone ever noticed, they never said anything.

A year had passed since Bucky left.  A year you spent in therapy, spent pretending every god damn day that you didn’t want to just die so the pain would stop, clinging to Steve like a fucking life raft and Steve clung back. You both knew it wasn’t healthy but you needed each other in ways that other people couldn’t understand. Steve was the only other person who really knew Bucky. Who could understand the things that you had went through. Who was just as lonely as you. Steve was your best friend. The day after the one year Painaversary, something incredible happened. Steve finally met his Soulmate. It hit you like a slap in the face from Hulk. You had already lost your Soulmate but now you had to lose your best friend too.

Steve sat on the edge of your bed staring daggers in to the floor. He kept his eyes down when you came out of the bathroom. “Hey there (y/n/n). You wanna tell me why you have what’s the word ‘ghosted’ me for the past week.” His voice was cold and harsh. Not what you expected. Not that you had been expecting Steve to be sitting on your bed when you came out of the shower but the tone he used was the more shocking thing at the moment. “You know why Stevie.” You said moving quietly to get dressed, unable to bring your voice above a whisper. He didn’t look up until he heard a soft sob. You were standing fully clothed in Bucky’s sweats and a worn t-shirt, with your head against Bucky’s dresser. “You know why. Just because Soulmates can’t be unfaithful doesn’t mean this is okay, Stevie.” In his heart he knew you were right but it killed him, gently he picked you up, turned off the lights and tucked you into bed. Then like most every night before he climbed in behind you. His body heat a silent invitation more of a pull like a magnet, one that you couldn’t resist right now. So you snuggled into his arms your back against his chest. As he wrapped his arms around you, he whispered voice rough with emotion, “This doesn’t have to end (y/n/n). “You knew what he was trying to do. “Stevie. It’s okay. We’ve been holding on to each other so tightly because we both were drowning. You can’t make Janey hurt. It’s okay. We will still hang out, but no more late nights like this.” It hurt to say. If it was possible he pulled you closer and held you closer. His heat wrapped you up like another blanket. You sighed. He just nodded and pressed a kiss to the top of your head. He could feel your tears on his arm as he held you. Why did it feel like his heart was getting shredded? For a while there was silence. “Stevie?” “Yeah sweetheart.” “I miss him so much, this hurts so fucking bad. Why did he leave me? I wish I would have just died there. It would better than this.” You curled up in a ball, trying to make yourself as small as possible, hoping somehow it would help. Steve sat up, propped all the pillows behind him, picked you up like you were a child and tucked you safely against his chest. The sobs and half screams that tore from your throat brought tears to his eyes. All he could do was hold you, stroke your hair, kiss the top of your head and whisper “I know sweetheart. I know. I’m here. I got ya. We’ll find him I promise. We will make all of this right. I promise.” Eventually there were no more tears to cry and you relaxed. Your voice was hoarse when you whispered “I was to move to the Taiga.” “Alright sweetheart we will make it happen.”

            A month later you had everything you needed to move. Tony had help you engineer a sort of mini arc reactor that supplied your home with 100% clean energy, and all of the wood used to build your house and furniture (which admittedly was a lot) was sustainably farmed, all of the pipes that brought water to the house from the lake had all been lain with minimal disruption to the landscape.

Stevie was the one who came along and helped you actually build the little house. It had two bedrooms, a kitchen and living room. It was a cozy little place, all the modern amenities but an old time feel. Plus you had your 1945 Jeep and a snowmobile. You had everything you needed.

You and Steve held hands as you stood back admiring the house one last time.

“Looks good sweet heart. You sure you are gonna be okay out here?” His voice was light but the concern was evident by the gentle squeeze he gave your hand.

You heaved a deep sigh “Yeah. Yeah. I think I will be fine. I feel better here and now than I have since he left. I promise I will keep in contact. I mean how could I not according to Tony I have my own satellite.” You returned the squeeze of his hand to reassure him. Gently he pulled you into a great bear of a hug. You were pretty sure if you hadn’t been a super soldier he probably would have broken you, you just laughed and hugged him back. “I want you to know I love you (y/n/n) and hell I’m going to miss you. So please be safe and if you need anything call, okay?”

“I love you too Stevie, I will miss you too. I promise I will call okay. Hey you better get going you got places to be.” He held you for a moment longer, kissed the top of your head and said “Yeah you are probably right. But before I do I have one more thing for you.” He goes over to his jeep and pulls out a box with holes in it. As soon as he sets it down you open it, to be greeted by the most adorable ball cute you had ever seen in your life. You picked it up finding that it was a puppy. “Janey picked him out for you. He is probably going to be huge, but she thought he would be perfect to keep you company out here.”

“Tell her I said thank you. I think this is just what I needed.” You said cuddling the sleeping puppy to your chest. Steve nodded and smiled. You watched as he went and started his jeep and drove away. You felt as close to content as you could with your heart in ribbons.

Present

By the time you snapped back to the present the fire was low. Benji was asleep at your feet and the howling outside had stopped. You decided to grab some coffee, bundle up and go outside to watch the night sky. It was breath taking. The Northern Lights danced and swayed shifting colors as they went. The stars shone brilliantly uninhibited by light pollution. You sipped your coffee and mindlessly started to hum as you watched the night.

No one knew you could sing. All evidence destroyed from your operative days, no one knew except Bucky. Your heart swelled and your eyes closed. You lifted your face toward the sky and started to sing and you thought it was fitting when the words only came to you in Russian, while the one person you wanted to hear was god knows where. Still he was the one you sang for…or perhaps you sang for the memory of him.

“Я завидую дождю. (I envy the rain)

Он падает на вашу кожу (It falls on your skin)

Он ближе, чем мои руки.(It’s closer than my hands)

Я завидую дождю.(I envy the rain)

Я завидую ветру (I envy the wind)

Она течет сквозь твою одежду (it flows through your clothes)

Он ближе, чем твоя тень. (it’s closer than your shadow)

О, я завидую ветру(oh I envy the wind)

Я завидую ночам. (I envy the nights)

Которые я не провожу с тобой (which I can’t spend with you)

Интересно, с кем ты лежишь рядом? (I wonder who you lay next to)

О, я завидую ночам. (oh I envy the nights)

Я завидую этой любви (I envy this love)

Любовь, которая была здесь. (this love that was here)

Осталось поделиться с кем - то еще (left to share with someone else)

О, я завидую этой любви (oh I envy this love)

Потому что я пожелал тебе всего самого лучшего. (Because I wished you all the best)

Все, что может дать этот мир.(all this world can give)

и все же ты меня бросил. (still you left me)

но мне нечего прощать.(but there’s nothing to forgive)

Но я всегда думал, что ты вернешься и скажешь мне, что все, что ты нашел, это ...

(but I always thought you would come back and tell me all you found was…)

Горе и страдания(grief and suffering)

Мне трудно сказать, я завидую этому пути.(its hard for me to say, I envy the way)

Ты счастлива без меня (you are happy without me)”

Your voice broke as the last note sounded. Subconsciously you reached for ghost of the connection you shared with Bucky. For a moment you almost thought you felt something brush back. Tears welled up as you fell to your knees in the snow. You couldn’t take it anymore. A scream of pure anguish ripped through your body.

After a moment you collect yourself and took the knife you always carried from its sheath. You stripped off your coat and laid it on the ground. Rolling up your sleeves you smiled softly thinking that maybe once you were gone in a way you would be with Bucky again.

There was no hesitation as you drove the knife blade into the pulse point of your wrist and slashed up, not waiting to repeat the process to the other side. You lay on your back and gaze up at the sky. In the distance you hear a motor. No it couldn’t be. Felt something brush against your mind. You smiled at the thought of your brain trying to make you fight. You knew it was going to take a bit longer to bleed out since it was so cold. You didn’t mind it would be over soon anyway.

You weren’t sure how much time passed, but your eyes started to feel heavy. Black started creeping into the edge of your vision. You let out a sigh finally.

“(Y/N/N)!!!!!!!! NOOOOOO (Y/N/N) PLEEAASSEEE!!!”

You could see a blurry figure coming toward you.  You knew that voice. It was like they were moving in slow motion and talking underwater. But that couldn’t be right.

Suddenly you heard that stupid motor again. Then something touched your skin. For a moment you felt fireworks. You opened your eyes. “Fuck (y/n/n) please hold on. I am so sorry doll. I’m so sorry, please don’t go. Please.” Bucky’s voice rang in your ears like a call to prayer. “Baby girl please.” His voice was hoarse and choked up. Barely able to speak through the lump in his throat at the sight of you.

You forced your eyes open and took in the sight of him for what would probably be the last time and whispered “Buck?” Then the world went dark as a scream that was like the torture of a thousand hells ripped and tore through the landscape.

In the aftermath a melody played 

"In those discouraging days

I always missed the mark When we were comfort and close I would neglect to keep

Oh, you safe and unexposed A portrait of time repeats This moment now replaced With an empty wish to give I give, I gave

I gave my everything For all the wrong things In this cold reality I made This selfish war machine

Oh, this has become hell How can I share this life With someone else? I promise you There is no weight that can bury us Beneath the ghosts of all my guilt

Here in the dark side of me Here in the dark side of me

Now in your absence I wade Through the coursing, lonely, lost And in this tragic dismay I never could believe what I became

I gave my everything For all the wrong things In this cold reality I made This welcomed war machine

Oh, this has become hell How can I share this life With someone else? I promise you There is no weight that can bury us Beneath the ghosts of all my guilt

Here in the dark side of me Here in the dark side of me Here in the dark side of me Here in the dark side of me

Oh, I couldn't give you What you needed It's all my fault Too coward to believe I lost it all

I gave my everything For all the wrong things In this cold reality I made This selfish war machine

Oh, this has become hell How can I share this life With someone else? I promise you There is no weight that can bury us Beneath the ghosts of all my guilt

Here in the dark side of me Here in the dark side of me"

 "Buck are you still there? I don't want to die."

[the--sad--hatter]

Frozen Heart (3)

FANDOM - MARVEL MCU, DEADPOOL & X-MEN

WARNINGS - ALL OF THEM, SMUT, VIOLENCE ANGST

DESCRIPTION -  

When Nick Fury finally catches the Ex-Shield Agent knowns Black Ice, The Thief with a Frozen Heart he puts her where she belongs. With The Avengers.

You’re not happy about that decision but you’re the only one who’s kicking up a fuss.

Natasha and Clint are happy to have you back in their lives, Sam Wilson is a big fan, Tony Stark just wants you to keep your hands off his stuff and Steve finds out that not only do you have a connection but you were there for him when nobody else was.

Bucky Barnes is one of the few people who doesn’t have a connection with you but he’d really really like one.

** Everything in Italics is being signed, not said out loud.**

Chapter Three - Comrades in Ice 

Bucky did end up on the roof, figuring the cool, fresh air would help him calm down. He couldn’t understand why he was getting so flustered around you, he barely knew you. Yes, you were beautiful, more beautiful than anyone he’d ever seen. You carried yourself with quiet confidence, meek and powerful at the same time. Your eyes held so much mischief and history and when you laughed, god when you laughed his heart would flutter in his chest wildly.

He was infatuated. Completely, ridiculously infatuated.

He needed to stop being such a moronic idiot and figure out a way to woo you. If wooing was still a thing. Whatever it was called these days, he was going to do it. He was going to dig out the old charm and show you he was more than a blundering idiot.

Tomorrow was a new day and it would be the day he started his quest for your affections.

When you slipped into the kitchen the next morning, stretching your arms above your head as you yawned, you resisted the urge to run for your life. Clint was cooking.

He glanced up at you and your rumpled appearance and tired eyes.

“I’ll put coffee on.” He gestured at you and turned around without waiting for a response.

Your jaw clenched automatically as Stark sauntered into the kitchen.

"Elsa, Anna. Morning." He greeted in fake cheeriness.

"Good morning Sven." You nodded to him with a smirk.

Sam swung his bedroom door open and padded out into the open plan kitchen living area to see what the clattering and banging was. He stopped dead in the middle of the room with an almost comical look of confusion on his face.

“What are you doing?” He asked.

Clint looked up from the pan he was currently manning, coffee pot at his mouth as he slurped from it.

“M’cooking.” He muttered, passing the coffee pot to you.

You practically drained the pot, unable to help herself. You passed the empty pot back to Clint and looked around the room sheepishly.

“I needed that.” You said, shrugging your shoulders,

Sam rolled his eyes and shook his head in exasperation as Tony glared daggers at you.

"Two things, that's your coffee pot now because ew, germs. And since when do you cook?" He asked Clint.

A memory brought the ghost of a smile to your face. You had been 14 at the time and both you and Tasha had been highly entertained by the chaos and string of curse words coming out of Clint's mouth as he hopped around the kitchen, his arm on fire.

He had never been domestic, bless him. But he had tried and that was what mattered. He was still trying now even though you were all grown up.

You'd never be anything less than his baby sister in his eyes though.

He stayed silent, choosing to focus instead on pushing the bacon around the pan. The sounds of it sizzling were the only sounds in the kitchen as Sam sighed heavily and started setting the table.

"I'm not hungry." Tony announced.

“More for us then.” You muttered.

“I’m starving.” Sam said enthusiastically, a little too enthusiastically if the withering look Tony shot at him was any indication.

“Morning.” Steve said as he came in, frowning at Clint but choosing wisely not to comment.

“Morning Cap.” You said, brightening up at his appearance.

He had clearly been up for a while and looked like he’d just come back from a run. Your heart pitter patted a bit as Bucky came in the room behind him and before you could look away fixed you with a heartwarming, panty dropping grin.

“Morning doll.” He said, internally jumping up and down for joy at having got the words out.

“Mirnong... I mean morning,” You said, blushing and tripping over the words for god knows what reason.

“Eat your breakfast, I’ll get you more coffee.” Clint sniggered at you.

As soon as the two super soldiers sat down he started.

“What was that? Which one of them are you crushing on?”

“Neither, shut up.” you hurried to sign back, the blush spreading down your neck.

Clint slid a cup of coffee to you with a look that said he clearly didn’t believe you and he chewed around the smirk breaking out on his face. Maybe you wouldn’t take the news headed your way too badly. Who was he kidding, you were going to throw a fit when you found out.

“So, Ice. I’ll be doing your physical evaluation today. Is in a couple hours ok?” Steve asked you.

You frowned and looked between him and Clint before very very calmly putting your fork down and standing up.

“Where is she?” You asked Clint in a calm, controlled tone.

“No idea.” He sniggered.

“Hmm, well then. I’ll just go and find her.” You said with a saccharine sweet smile.

Tasha had tortured you for nothing, straight after you woke up from a mini coma and you were furious as you stormed out of the kitchen and went searching for her, deep down knowing you wouldn’t find the tricky Russian fox.

Eventually, you had to abandon the fruitless search and headed towards the gym for the real evaluation, praying Steve would be kinder than Tasha.

“Hey, you going to the gym?” Someone asked and you turned your head to see Bucky Barnes stalking towards you.

Ignoring the stupid butterflies in your stomach you nodded.

He reached out, flicking your ID badge and chortled.

“Level One Clearance huh? Poor you.” He smirked at you.

You frowned and looked at the badge, you hadn’t actually paid any attention to what it said when Stark had flung it at your face about twenty minutes ago and told you that you needed to keep it on you.

“That bad?” You asked.

“Level One means you’re not even cleared to get a pencil from supplies without a higher level agent signing off on it.” He told you.

“Fantastic. What level are you?” You groaned.

“Six. I’m an Avenger doll, only Cap and Stark have higher clearance.” He told you smugly.

“Well, I’ll come to find you if I need a pencil then, seeing as you’ve taken me under your metaphorical wing.” You said laughing.  

Bucky preened, silently congratulating himself for this smooth conversation.

“You can come to me for anything you like, I’d be happy to lend you a helping hand.” He said lowly, laying on the charm.

You started to smile back at him and forced yourself to stop. For someone who didn’t want to be here, you were making an awful lot of friends. You never made friends in the army, in fact you could count the number of friends you had on two fingers and one of those was your brother.

You’d known these people for five minutes, why were you letting your defenses slip down around them?

Your shoulders tensed up and he read the change in your body language and thought he had offended or annoyed you.

“I should get going, won’t make a good impression if I’m late.” You said shortly and jogged away.

He’d come on too strong and he was regretting it. He must have seemed like any other creep trying his luck with you and you had bolted. He sighed and realized he’d have to rethink his approach.

You practically ran into the gym and Steve turned around to look at you curiously.

“Everything ok?” He asked you, frowning.

“What? Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?” You asked, putting your hands on your hips and trying to act like you weren’t winded.

“Are you sure you were a spy? You’re a terrible liar.” He said, smirking at you and waiting patiently for you to tell the truth.

“I was worried you’d reprimand me if I was late. And I didn’t really do espionage, I was more on the breaking and entering side of things.” You admitted.

“I’m not Nat, and I watched the footage of her evaluation of you. I was impressed. She’s right about you needed to train more, you clearly have a lot of untapped potential but your marksmanship was really impressive. I haven’t seen anyone that good since Bucky.” He complimented you.

“Oh. Does that mean I can go?” You asked hopefully.

“Nope.” He replied, tossing a pair of boxing gloves at you.

“We’re going to work on your stamina.” He explained.

You resisted the urge to wiggle your eyebrows at him and tried to put the gloves on. He watched you struggle for a minute and when you started trying to use your teeth he barked out a laugh and came over to help.

“We should also talk about your um... ice issues.” He said.

“You mean that little issue where I keep trying to turn people into human popsicles?” You asked.

“Yeah, that one. Been there and done that so I don’t really want to go through it again.” He joked.

“Are my powers an issue for you?” You asked nervously.

“Unless you plan on freezing me for another seven decades then no.” He answered as you got into a hitting stance and started tapping the bag.

“I can’t get my powers under control. I’m really out of practice.” You admitted as he kicked your back leg into the correct stance.

“You left an ice replica of an Iron Suit and Nat showed me the photos. It was perfect. How do you go from being able to achieve that level of detail to not being able to use your powers at all?”He asked. 

You paused your hits and grabbed the swinging bag while you thought about how to answer. You didn’t see Bucky at the door, you thought it was just you and Steve.

“There was a mission in Moscow. Shield never sent me on Missions with Tasha and Clint usually. But this time they did, they sent me and Elijah to back them up.”

“Elijah, he was your...”

“Fiancée.”You confirmed. 

Bucky nearly bit his own tongue at the mention of a fiancée. He shouldn’t be eavesdropping but he couldn’t walk in and interrupt you now and he was too rooted to the spot to walk away.

“What happened?” Steve asked.

“Bad intel. They were more prepared than we’d been led to believe and they were waiting for us. The leader, the guy we were after wanted to make me suffer. He locked me in a room with Tasha, Clint, and Elijah. They were chained up but I wasn’t and there was a gun on the floor with one bullet. He told me I had to kill one of them or he would kill us all.”

You heard Steve’s sharp intake of breath as he put the pieces together.

“You didn’t have a choice.” He stated.

“Actually I did, I had a choice between the three people I loved most in the world. And I killed the man I was supposed to marry. Natasha never quite forgave me for not killing her. She thought it should have been her.”

“Why, why did you choose him?” He asked softly.

“I couldn’t make the choice as a sister or a fiancée. So I made it as a Shield agent. I killed the lowest level agent, the one we could afford to lose.” You said coldly.

Steve was shaken as he silently regarded you.

“Shield arrived to rescue us, too late. They took the mark in, they were going to lock him up.  I lost control, completely. I tried to kill him, and I did. But I couldn’t switch it off, I had to let it out and kill everyone there or blast it skyward.. Do you know what happens if you shoot ice into the sky, rapidly cooling the atmosphere?”

“No.” Steve admitted with a frown, he was betting it wasn’t good.

“Superstorm. I would have killed thousands of people if it wasn’t for Agent Hill. She shot me. When I woke up I told Fury to tell everyone I was dead and I disappeared. I made the hard choice for Shield, made it without hesitating. But I couldn’t live with it. I loved him, I was going to marry him and spend the rest of my life with him and instead I shot him in the head.” You said, punching the bag as hard as you could.

“I can’t imagine having to make that kind of choice.” Steve admitted.

You were expecting a different reaction, deep down that’s why you’d told him. He was Captain America, a paragon of justness and righteousness. He should have been disgusted by you but all you saw in his eyes was sympathy. You couldn’t look at him anymore and turned your back, taking your self-loathing out on the bag.

“That’s why you’re out of practice? You don’t want to use it after what happened?”

“I locked my abilities away and with them my heart. I decided I didn’t want to use them ever again and I know that this kind of life means I can’t ever love someone again.”

“I used to want love and a family but when I went into the ice all those notions went with me. I guess both our hearts are frozen. They have to be.” Steve said.

You huffed out a sad, unamused laugh.

“Comrades in ice?” You asked and he chuckled and fist bumped your proffered boxing glove.

You had no idea Bucky Barnes had heard the whole thing and was walking away, his own heart far from frozen but instead heavy. He knew his silly little crush could never come to anything. No wonder you’d been so spooked by his flirting.

But what he’d heard hadn’t changed his admiration for you, it just added a desire to see you happier.

He’d have to be your friend. You needed a friend and this way he could be a part of your life and get over his infatuation.

Steve left the gym before you, letting you finish up your stretches when Stark came wandering in, whistling casually. You rolled your eyes and ignored him, walking over to the large doors and frowned when they wouldn’t open. You pushed them again and they didn’t budge. You whirled round to face Tony who was smirking at you.

“Why are the doors locked?” You demanded.

“Because I’m not finished with you yet. You don’t get out of this room unless I say so and until you tell me who you really are and why you’re here, you aren’t getting out.” Tony threatened.

A whimper ripped out of your throat and your eyes began darting around the room, looking for an escape.

Tony could see the sweat beading across your brow from where he stood, could see the tremors running through your body. You were scared, he realized with a start of surprise.

You had one of the worst cases of Claustrophobia he’d ever seen since they were standing in a huge room with floor to ceiling windows and he could tell from your body language that you were on the brink of having a massive freak out. He could practically smell the fear on you.

“Let me out.” You demanded, your voice hard and angry.

He met your eyes and noted the sheer desperation and fear in them.

He had no idea you would react like this to being locked in a room, he just wanted to confront you. He genuinely felt guilty and was about to open his mouth and order Friday to let you out when he felt a physical change in the air.  

The temperature in the room dropped several degrees and a noise behind him had him turning around to watch the windows as frost crawled across the floor, creeping up the windows and branching out across them before they shattered, dropping shards of glass bigger than a person onto the floor with an ear-splitting crash.

Barely five minutes later Tony picked up your ID badge, the one you’d dropped by the shattered windows before you ran across the broken glass. Clearly you had realized it could be used to locate you and ditched it before you ditched the compound.

Glass crunched underfoot as Natasha approached, Clint a few paces behind. The two of them regarded the damage with exasperation.

“Could have told you locking my sister up wasn’t going to go well for you Stark, might have saved you a few thousand dollars.” Clint remarked.

“Alright, I didn’t know it was an issue. I didn’t mean to spook her.” Tony admitted with a heavy sigh.

“She’s had claustrophobia since she was a kid, she still has nightmares about it. Something you might have known if you talked to her instead of accusing her of being a spy for Fury. I did know about it, do you know how? Because she is who she says she is, she’s Clint’s sister and as far as I’m concerned, mine as well.” Natasha snapped.

“Doesn’t matter right now, we need to find her. She’s unstable. Any idea where she might have run off to?” Tony asked wearily.

Clint and Natasha exchanged a knowing glance.

You didn't turn around as you felt your brother approach and sit in the barstool next to you.

“We need to talk about what happened with Braxton and with Fury taking me in.”You admitted.

“You think?”

“I knew who he was. Someone gave me a lead to hunt down the rest of the organization responsible for Elijah’s death.”

Clint ground his teeth together at your admittance.

“I couldn’t let it go Clint, I just couldn't.”

“Cut the Bullshit Ice.” He interrupted.

You flinched in surprise at his anger and he took advantage of your silence.

"You fucked up by going after Braxton, two years off the grid, getting close to him and ignoring everyone. Me. And for what? To lose control and end up being forced to join the Avengers?"

“I don’t need your help with my abilities.” You said before he could go down that route.

“Here we go..” He sighed.

“I know how they work, I know how to control them. I’m just a little out of practice.”You insisted.

“You killed a lot of people. I know you like to act tough but that isn’t something you’re ok with, what you did wasn’t a blip because you’re out of practice. Despite your warm and cuddly exterior, you’re a good person and you don’t want to be slaughtering people. You can handle it in the moment but you can't live with yourself afterwards.”

“What do you think I’ve been doing for the past four years? You really think I’ve been serving in the US Army and not killed anybody? There’s so much blood on my hands that it’ll never wash off, those bastards I froze in the desert are barely a dent in my kill count.”

He knew that you weren’t an innocent, but to hear you say it so casually was a different thing. You had become more like him in the time you’d been gone and that wasn’t what he had wanted for you.

“You’ve killed, to protect people. You’ve done bad things for good reasons so don’t you dare judge me for doing the same thing.” You told him.

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me and Tasha what you were doing?” He demanded.

“I was trying to protect you.”

“Haven’t you learned your lesson about protecting me?”

“I don’t care that you’re still mad about that, I know you’ll never forgive me for it but you’re hurt feelings ain’t my main concern. I was trying to keep you alive.” You said and threw back your drink and slammed the glass down angrily.

You shook your head.

“I don’t want to relive the same old argument, what’s done is done and neither of us can change it.”

“Don’t I know it.” He said.

“I don’t need to you teach me how to use my abilities, I can figure it out on my own. I do need your help though.” You told him.

He paused, waiting for you to continue.

“We thought The Scorpion was a weapons dealer and human trafficker. We were wrong. The Scorpion was dealing in human weapons, he’s trafficking mutants. And Braxton wasn't The Scorpion, The Scorpion doesn't exist. It's a front, a cover. The whole thing goes deeper than any of us realized,” You revealed.

“Why not tell Fury?” He asked.

“Because he can’t be trusted. Braxton had information he shouldn’t have, he knew what I was. He knows about the school. He has double agents everywhere… I can't tell anyone without putting them in danger.”

“So who’s behind it? Who has you so spooked?”

“I overheard Braxton using on the phone before he drugged me. He said a name.”

“What was the name?”

“Magneto.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

And here we are my loves. I hope this was worth the wait, personally I struggled with this chapter but I'm really hoping the effort I put in paid off.

@shirukitsune @thelostallycat @jsmith509@buckitybarnes @aw-shit-nuggets @pleasefollowmeuwu @nerdy-bookworm-1998@boxofteenageideas @jaynnanadrews @psychoredpanda@marbleowl @l0kisbitch @brownlee-22 @fluffeh-kitty @mywinterwolf @poppunkassbitch @angieptt @muggleborngirl @markusstraya @tarastudiesalot @pinkisokay @buckitybarnes @firefly-in-darkness @chipilerendi @psychoredpanda @littledeadrottinghood @boxofteenageideas @pleasefollowmeuwu @aw-shit-nuggets @brownlee-22

[aboyandhisstarship]

Tinder AU: i always figured you would out live me

TW: School shooting (kinda) hostages, guns, violence, Death of a major character

A/N: welcome to angst vile pop you, i debated the ending to this for a long time (more on that later) but decided to go with it, DO you agree with me!? tell me and find out.

David dropped the note he was holding his head in his hands before reaching over to this phone to call Gwen before met with a simple “the number you are trying to reach has been disconnected.”  

David look down feeling the tears welling on his face before his phone buzzed, he reeled himself in saying with a simple “go for Greenwood…Yes sir, not an issue at all.”

David grabbed his bag turning off his apartment light.

6 months later, C130:

The plane flew through the air, David was sleeping in the middle with Jasper doing a crossword, Tabii was trying to help but was not doing a great job, while Nurf was taking a swig of water.

David was dead to the world, as Tabii said quietly “is he ok?”

Jasper paused saying “7 letter word for natural phenome…and what do you mean?”

Tabii scoffed “rainbow and I heard the stories about him; he could be under fire with his radio busted and 3 rounds to his name and still be smiling.”

Nurf added “I heard he was real close to having smiley as his call sign.”

Jasper paused “He is mission ready.”

Tabii chuckled “oh he is everything his rep said he was…save for the optimistism”

Jasper paused saying “look…He is going through a time…he had a girl, they were getting serious…he had started ring shopping, but everyone almost bought it on another op, then he gets home to a dear john…”

Nurf said “Oh…”

Tabii frowned “dear god…”

Jasper nodded “he’s a tough guy he will bounce back…”

As all 3 looked at the sleeping red head,

Fort Bragg North Carolina:

Jasper threw a towel at David who lurched awake on his friends couch, Jasper said “davie…”

David wiped his eyes “I’m fine…”

Jasper paused “You have been crashing on my couch for the last six months. Sophie enjoys your company as much as anyone but…” referring to sophie his fiancé, a nurse currently on duty.

David sighed “soon or later I need to go back to my place…I know Jasp…just…”

Jasper nodded “everything there reminds you of her?” handing the red head a water bottle

David took the water saying “Pathetic I know…”

Jasper shook his head “David I’ve known you for years, Gwen is the only girl you ever opened up to, poured your heart out to…and she dumped you at the lowest point you have ever been…I would say you are allowed to be heartbroken.”

David shook his head “I shouldn’t have kidded myself, what is it 90 percent of all team relationship’s fail? You’re the exception jasp…but I guess I’m not.”

Jasper patted his back saying “she wasn’t right for you…that doesn’t mean there isn’t someone else there.”

David grabbed his phone smiling saying “thanks Jasp… go for greenwood.” As the phone buzzed

Seattle:

Gwen sighed as she looked over one of her grad students thesis, she almost laughed at the irony…the girl it seemed had a boyfriend the she was preoccupied with, causing her to delay her submission, Gwen almost out of habit let it go, saying how important spending time with your partner is, she will always hold onto that from her time with David, not to waste time because you never know when that phone will ring.

Gwen shuddered, she didn’t think about David often but whenever she did she felt a pang of sadness he was only always good to her…whenever he was there anyway, she turned the tv to the news…she never told anyone but she always watched every night just in case, hoping to never see his face.”

Gwen leaned in her chair before shaking her head “I left him, why do I care!?”

A voice in the back of her mind answered “because you know he did not deserve what you did to him.”

Fort Bragg North Carolina:

Captain Miller smiled “thanks for coming on such short notice.” Addressing David’s team

David shook his head “what’s the op sir.”

Captain Miller pulled up a picture saying “this Mai Cai Shek.”

Nurf chewed on a carrot “so who is this guy, terrorist, arms dealer, double parker?”

Tabii shrugged “who cares we render him into prison or grave and go home.”

Miller coughed “Mister Shek, is a student or engineering in the university of Seattle applied science division.”

David shrugged “ok a brainy terrorist?”

Miller shook his head “I know this outside your specialty…but you are to shadow him and ensure his safety.”

David blinked as he said “Sounds like a job for the Seals sir?”

Miller nodded “and you would be right, but this team was personally requested, the request was passed on to the pentagon who agreed to it.”

David blinked “who the hell is this guy.”

Miller sighed “didn’t tell me the details only that the powers that be are very eager for him to stay alive, questions?”

No one answered so miller sighed “you are wheels up in one hour.”

Seattle:

David leaned on the counter of the campus coffee shop, he was smartly dressed…made to look nerdier with a sweater and a pair of glasses, an earwig concealed in his ear. He casually observed the subject saying quietly “redcap.”

Tabii reported “I’m in Nomad, his dorm is bugged and we are inside his computer…this guy can’t order a pizza without us knowing what’s on it.”

David nodded “keep it subtle redcap….dirt diver?”

Nurf sat in a car down the road saying “go Nomad.”

David took the handed coffee thanking the barista he took a sip to cover his question “are you ready for the QR?”

Nurf nodded “roger nomad, t-Minus 30 seconds to hard evac.”

David nodded as he stuffed some change into his wallet saying “cool Breeze?”

Jasper dressed with a bit more punk flair said “I’m on the south end of the building nomad.”

David turned around saying “roger, I’ll take the west…”

David came face to face with Gwen, He tried to play it off speaking in a German accent “Pardon me ma’am.”

Gwen however smiled “Ma’am…”

David froze knowing now that Gwen had recognized him he said “Cool breeze.” Under his breath

Jasper nodded “I see her…Nomad, do what you need to…I have the subject.”

Gwen was looking puzzled as she mouthed “cool breeze?”

David then walked up to Gwen pretending to drop something said quickly “what are you doing here?”

Gwen fumed “me!? I work here what about…”

David cut her off “quiet, we can talk over there.”

Gwen eyed a campus security guard before nodding following David to the table, David sat down saying quietly “cool breeze I am at the west side.”

Gwen sat down before saying “Are you stalking me!?”

David’s eyes went wide “what no!?”

Gwen narrowed her eyes “then why are you….are you working!?” she lowered her voice

David looked down not answering, Gwen frowned “you are aren’t you…”

David sighed “you know…”

Gwen scoffed “you can’t talk about it I know…”

The subject began to move followed by jasper, David let him pass as he glanced at his watch “Gwen it was good seeing you.” Getting up to leave

Gwen said “oh no you don’t.” following the solider out of the door

Gwen yelled in the parking lot “you don’t get to run away on your little missions again.”

David stopped asked “Cool breeze?”

Jasper returned “subject is on the road…myself and dirt diver are following.”

David nodded “Roger, redcap.”

Tabii returned “on my way nomad.”

Gwen demanded “are you really going to ignore me!?”

David turned  off his com before facing Gwen “you left me! “he yelled “you walked away and never looked back not me!”

Gwen demanded “I did it because you are always like this! Anytime anywhere you get a call and leave with barely a word!”

David fumed  “you chose to walk away, you didn’t even wait you left me a note to find when I got back, DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THE DAY BEFORE I GOT HOME GWEN!?” he yelled

Gwen didn’t answer as he yelled “THEY DIED GWEN I LOST TWO MEMBERS OF MY TEAM I WAS LEFT IN CHARGE AND COME HOME TO FIND OUT YOU RAN AWAY! YOU DIDN’T HAVE THE SAND TO DO IT TO MY FACE, YOU DECIDED THAT IT WOULD BE EASIER TO RUN AWAY!”                

Gwen shrunk as David cooled off “you couldn’t handle it that’s fine! I won’t hold that against you, but you left, you changed your number ,you walked away and you have the fucking guts to stand in front of me and get mad that I walk away without a word.” he paused before letting out a cruel laugh as Tabii pulled up

David walked over to the car saying “let’s go redcap”

Tabii got out and said “one second” and saw David slink into the passenger she  charged up to Gwen saying quietly “You broke his heart bitch, if you ever try to talk to him again…we will put you in the ground, and if you know anything about us you know that is not a metaphor.”

Tabii climbed in peeling Away, David reached up to turn his com back up but Tabii stopped him saying “easy boss, let us help you.”

David for the first time broke down crying saying “I really thought she loved me.”

Tabbii sighed as she got the heartbroken solider Ice cream.

Gwen meanwhile stood in the parking lot mouth wide open.

Safe house:

David sat in the safe house staring at the wall as Jasper sat beside him “you good boss?”

David paused before saying “Just getting squared away Jasp…”

Tabii added more info to the board with the man subject on the wall, Nurf sighed “everything about this guy seems normal…who the hell is he.”

Tabii laughed “we are trained for…cough target elimination…”

David looked up “did you say cough out loud?”

Tabii looked sheepish “I always wanted to do that…”

David shook his head saying “alright…work backwards…I’m here to kill this guy…how do I do it?”

Nurf shrugged “a sniper shot would do it…”

Jasper shook his head “nah…if we were in Iraq I would say yes…but here…a media circus…”

Tabii nodded “a student getting his head blown off in the middle of the street might make the evening news…”

David nodded “so I need top take him out In a way that not light me up like Vegas lights, household accident?”

Tabii shook his head “we got his house bugged…he is not quite paranoid but differently careful, he is well liked but isolated.”

Jasper shrugged “sounds like the perfect target, over confidant but with plenty of openings”

Tabii laughed “you would think so, but the man is somehow on the floor with the highest number of busy bodies I have ever seen, I was stopped 4 times, dressed as a maintence worker…plus a lot of security cam’s.”

David threw up and catching a paper ball saying “so at home is out, and taking him out in the middle of the street will draw to much attention…what do that leave us…”

The team looked at each other the same way as Tabii said quietly “Jack reacher…”

The team quickly went pale as David reached for the sat phone.

Campus:

Gwen sat outside her head in her hands, trying to ignore the voice in her head saying “he is right you know, he risks his life every day and you yelled at him.”

Gwen groaned “quiet you.”

The voice said “hey don’t shot the messenger I’m you, you know.”

Gwen nodded “I know…but sadly you don’t know how to make this right anymore then I do…”

Gwen then heard what sounded like gun shots.

Nurf sped down the road as Miller called “Nomad, Dog patch we have reports of shots fired on campus confirm.”

David checked his MP5 as he responded “dog patch we are on quick response, requesting local support ASAP, we will be in contact in t minus 30 seconds.”

Miller nodded “roger that local police are in route, you are free to engage, good luck Nomad.”

Gwen was shoved into a room by a group of people wearing sky masks, inside was a wide variety of people, they seemed random with no real rhyme or reason to how they were chosen. one guy was shoved in next to Gwen and hit in the stomach falling to the floor as Gwen was Shoved against the wall.

The man in ski masks raised there weapons, and in that second 3 things happened, the guy on the ground sprung up from the ground producing a pistol firing wildly

The other 2 was the door was kicked open and a strange cylinder was thrown in before all hell broke out.”

David kicked open the door as Jasper threw in a flashbang, in his perifable she saw someone fire a pistol and miss every shot at the hostiles, he ignored them as the guys in the ski masks whipped around, David felt the his weapons recoil as he and his team easily shot down, the hostage takers.

David quickly moved forward seeing there subject he reported “dog patch jackpot repeat jackpot, subject is safe.”

David shoved the guy towards Nurf when he saw movement at the end of the line where Gwen looked at him with pleading eyes “David…”  blood soaking through her shirt as she collapsed. \

David Slid catching her yelling “redcap!”

Tabii was already moving “On it boss.”

David gently lay her down to let the medic work saying “Dogpatch we have a civ hit…”

Miller asked “was it the terroists?”

David at the guy pistol still smoking smiling like a hero with a direct line of sight to Gwen David growled “negative…we had a bit of a john Mclean.”

Miller responded “roger, EMT’s are in route render aid.”

David was barely listening as he said “wilco.”

Grabbing the smug man forcing to his feet he said “hey I’m a hero!?”

David felt his fist clentch as Jasper said quickly “Nomad…he didn’t mean it.”

David responded “Jas…cool Breeze this son of a bitch, if she dies…”

Jasper countered “he will get his…he is not worth it.”

David dropped him kicking him in the stomach he said coldly “whoops.”

The man groaned “fuck you…whoever you are!”

Tabii yelled “Nomad, we need  to get her to a hospital now!”

David nodded “Cool Breeze.”

Jasper returned “go, I got this.”

Using a tarp as a make shift way to carry her they brought Gwen to the car, David floored it saying “Dogpatch nomad, inform county general they have a GSW in bound.”

Miller responded “roger nomad, wait for ambulance.”

David responded “no can do sir, Redcap says she is dying.”

Miller said “David…we are off the record what is happening?”

Davis returned “its Gwen sir…she worked at this campus…she got hit.”

Miller said simply “we will let them know Nomad.”

David returned think you sir.

Hospital:

The car screamed in front of the Er as David and tabii carried in the bleeding Gwen, they were dressed in full tac gear as a doctor bewildered ran up to them having justgot the call, Tabii helped them on the gurney telling them the issue and the treatment she had provided.

David fired a smile at the others in the waiting room making a half-hearted attempt to hide his weapon, he approached reception the woman looked him up and down clearly reaching for a panic button as he asked “can I help you.”

David answered simply “My name is….Her name is Gwen santos, she has o Negative Blood, and is not Allergic to latex or any medications.”

The nurse nodded “yes of course Mister…”

David looked sheepish “Blue…Mister Blue.”

The nurse nodded as David stared off into the distance before saying “roger Dogpatch, Thank you sir…I will Nomad out.”

David smiled “I’m going take my weapons off and come back if that is ok?”

The woman returned “sure…”

David yelled “redcap!”

Tabii handed her weapons over before filling in the rest of Gwen’s info, David saw the hospital security, he carefully reached into his pocket pulling out a card, he carries on state wide ops, the card simply  had a phone number on it.”

6 hours later:

The entire team was in the waiting room now, everyone was giving the strange types a large amount of space, a doctor entered the waiting room reading and then rereading the name he said “mister blue…”

David stood up “that’s me…”

The doctor looked down “we have bad news…”

3 days later:

David sat on the back of his car drinking some doctor pepper, the situation was nostalgic to 6 months ago when the rest of his team died, but this time it was different. Jasper approached “david…”  

David looked over at his head shifting on his bumper to let him sit down, David chuckled “I changed one heart break for another…”

Jasper nodded “Listen about Gwen…”

David shook her head “she left me…I shouldn’t care but…”

Jasper smiled “but you still do inspite of all the fucked shit we have seen…you still care about her.”

David threw his can into a trash bag saying with a sigh “funny, she left me to get away from all this…I guess it didn’t work.”

Jasper shook his head “you can’t do that yourself.”

David crushed the another can in his hand nearly full of pop as he growled “I should have kicked that gun club member into next week…he fired down range…nailed her right in the heart….she never stood a chance all because that guy wanted to be a hero.”

David felt the tears come “her family…they are uhh planning the funeral…better them then me I guess, I mean one of us goes the army…they just take care of it…but if I had to…I wouldn’t even know where to start…”

Jasper hugged his friend “easy there Davie…”

David leaned into the hug “she was the best thing to ever happen to me Jasp…I let her go…I let her leave…I should have tried more…should have done more.”

Jasper sighed “david…nothing could have changed  what happened…even if you stayed together she still would have taken that job…that man was always going to be there…you can’t do that, you can’t go down that road…everything that happens down range.”

David nodded “stays down range…” he fought off the tears best he could. As Jasper deepened the hug.

2 weeks later, new York:

David adjusted his tie as he waited in line for the wake, Gwen’s mom saw him saying “David…”

David saw her saying “hello Miss Santo’s…sorry if I’m intruding.”

she hugged him saying “you were close to Gwen that all that matters now…”

David nodded “Thank you…I’m….i’m sorry for your lose.”

Gwen’s mom give him a quick squeeze “whatever issue we may have had is over David…we are happy you are here for her now.”

David said glumly “wish I was there more.”

Gwen’s mom nodded sadly letting the red head pass, David saw Gwen’s body lying in the coffin he said quietly “Sorry Gwen…for everything”

As he touched the edge of the coffin, he left the funeral room leaning against the wall and finally breaking down and crying.

A/N: so Gwen is dead! F i thought long and hard as to weather or not i wanted her to be wounded by that guy and then form there either reconcile with David pr leave him again, but then i decided to not give her the chance. she dies saying his name sudden and terrible. so of course the question is, is this story over? answer: maybe? i write kind of like valve produces games, coming and going to projects as i feel, but right now the answer is most likely yes, the tragic and beautiful love story is done... will David be ok? probably he has a soilid support network, but he will always have a Gwen shaped hole in his heart, alright, now that, that is done as always leave your feedback? what did you think about Gwen dying, did it feel legit? or did it seem like i was killing off a female for the sake of Drama (TM) let me know i either reply, Ask or tag form...and have a nice night