#had a dream that my whole production team and cast went to college together and were sharing a dorm building

[jelliebeanbitch]

aaaaa theater is such a fucked up line of work. we are bonded for life man what do you mean it’s the last show and we never work with this same beautiful group of people again? you mean we’ll never be here again as we are???? fucking excuse me???????

[bixisarusher]

Bix Reviews: Call Me Kat (Season 1, FOX 2021)

I thought a lot about how I feel about this show, and there are lots of words, so it’s gonna go under the cut.

In summary: I didn’t enjoy it quite as much as I hoped to, and i discuss why I think that was. BUT there are great things in this remake, and I want to name them as well!

There are two ways to look at Call Me Kat: As it’s own thing, and as a Miranda remake. As a Miranda Hart stan, I’ll have a lot more to say about the latter, so let’s start with the show itself.

On It’s Own

That felt appropriate, nvm me

It’s a cute show. It’s not a groundbreaking concept, and it’s not re-inventing the genre, but it has some really good things going for it:

Kat is happy and confident in her quirks, but doesn’t have it all together - so she has room to grow and is very sympathetic, all the while encouraging the viewer to celebrate their own quirks. Lovely! Also Mayim is a treasure and it’s great to watch her perform.

The show openly discusses “taboo” topics, like using anti-depressants and their side-effects, freezing your eggs, comparing yourself to a hallucinated version of your crush’s ex...  The show isn’t a trailblazer, (partly because there have been many great shows in the last couple years) but I thinks it’s awesome to see them further treading out the ground and normalizing these topics.

It has a nice set of characters that go through their indepent stories, I found myself excited for any new episode and enjoying the varying storylines. (Most of them Randi.)

And, although the last episode dragged it right back into the romantic territory, Kat has a genuine friendship with Max and I value that a lot. Neither of them harbours secret feelings, instead they are open and honest about it. The only thing they overdid here was to have an exchange of “Do you remember, when we were in college together and [blank] happened?” in at least every other episode.

Another thing on the down side: Neither the writers nor Mayim seem to fully know what to do with the fourth wall breaks. I don’t mind the thing, it just doesn’t feel fully rounded out - like how much they want to use it, what purpose it really has, ...

I think it’s due to the circumstances of the filming (pandemic restrictions and all), but more on that later. So much for the show itself.

As a remake

First of all: Do I love Jim Parsons for looking at this absurd british gem of a TV show and deciding “the world needs more stuff like this”? Absolutely! Because I agree! There were two or three moments that leaned on Miranda a little too much for their own good, but overall: it is content inspired by Miranda, but neither correcting, it nor copying it. More power to this concept.

More power to celebrating the silly joys in this live, to celebrate not being normal, more power to amazing friendships and women who find their own path. Call Me Kat does all of these things.

However, it doesn’t quite live up to it’s Mothership. Let me elaborate.

There is a myriad of reasons why Miranda works and I will not attempt to list them. However there’s one thing that does stand out to me in the original, and that I really miss in the adaptation: Miranda didn’t just write “a plot” and salt it with “a few jokes”. She carefully built tensions and different storylines to culminate together. Sometimes it’s a funny word that the character hears in the first act, and later nervously blurts out in the wrong moment. Sometimes it’s a parade of characters she met through the episode that all meet in one spot at the end. Or there is a throw away comment in the beginning of an episode that sets up a revelation toward the end.

I could swarm you with examples, a good one is in 1x03 Job: trying to impress Tilly, trying to deny waitressing, and then: the multiple “You weed in a ball pool?” and Gary in uniform walking in right on time to sell the lie about being an undercover commander. Another one of my personal favorites is in 2x04 A New Low, when Miranda in the end tells Gary that he lost her trust, and he’ll “never get to see her naked sweep” - and then he find’s the portrait Tamara did of Miranda’s “naked sweep”. Just hit’s right.

That is a testament to how well crafted the episodes are. In Call Me Kat? All Nighter and Gym had moments like that, and Double Date very early on set up Kat’s dream to use the sound system, but it just never reached that same level of mastermind.

But, in defense of CMK: Miranda was crafted over ten years with a full of 20 episodes airing (21 if you count the radio series) and the cast worked together a good year before they filmed the first series of 6 episodes. Compared to that, work on Call me Kat started around 2018, the cast was assembled in the first half of 2020 and started shooting in late October. They then shot 13 episodes in their first season. (which is more than half of the total episodes of Miranda, just saying) Sources: english wikipedia articles for Miranda and Call Me Kat, as well as Mayim’s Youtube. (Jep I did research for this.)

Also the CMK episodes were written and directed by a variety of people, while the Miranda episodes have all been at least co-written by Miranda Hart and all except for the last two were directed by Juliet May.

These are - as much as I as a humble consumer with a bit of wikipedia knowledge know - basic differences about how shows are made in the UK vs. in the US, and neither formula is any way of guarantee for the quality of the final product. However I think somewhere in those facts is the reason why the Miranda ship feels a lot more in shape and ... coherent. The pilot that we know and love is the fourth time they recorded the script, and I don’t even want to know how many times the script had been edited in between. The cast knew each other well, the material had been tested in front of multiple audiences. Call Me Kat had neither of these luxuries. On the contrary, CMK has been put together under restrictions due to the pandemic.

So on the one hand, I am majorly grateful that this show even got to see the light of day! That means that a full cast and crew had jobs in these trying times, and it means that we were provided with good entertainement.

On the other hand, the circumstances are showing in the final product. The cast had an awkward chemistry with each other, and the comedic timing, though not horrible, could have been a lot better.

This may be an unpopular opinion, but I think studio audiences can be a blessing. There is something about the actors having a genuine connection to real time observers that helps me as a screen audience connect to it. And for this staged multicam show that includes glances at the camera? I think a real audience would have grounded the concept. And it would have given the team a direct feedback as to which moments were working comedically and which weren’t.

What I’m trying to say is: they had big shoes to fill, and the odds were not really in their favor, and so it doesn’t really hold up in comparison.

That’s sad. But that doesn’t mean that it’s a horrible show. As I said in the beginning, I love that this show is done in the spirit of Miranda, even if it’s not just as good.

I have no idea how the show’s chances are to get a second season. If they do get renewed - I’ll keep watching.

-----

Now, let me finish with a few gifs that I feel like they can be applied to the whole “they remade Miranda and it went both ok and less then ok but at least the word is being spread, right?”-situation.

because Kat/Max is good but could anything ever be Miranda/Gary?

Not really...

ok that one’s a bit rude. but you thought it, too.

Jim turning in bed at night overthinking if Mayim was the right choice. But she was. Much like Stevie was for Miranda.

Honestly a very good part of the remake is Mayim and Cheyenne performing together! I personally think this moment above is responsible.

Trying to match the CMK characters to the Miranda characters like: I thought Phil is supposed to be the Customer but turns out Phil originally was supposed to a Phillys? So Phil is Stevie, but then who is Randi? Tilly? So many questions.

And with that, dear Caller, back to you.

[desire-tenderness]

𝔹𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕖

{This is a fanfic dreamed and desired. All I write about is my feelings, sensations and desires.  TEXT BY: L.M} Day 1 - Embark on the dazzle. October 9, 2023, Monday. I am exhausted, the recording will begin on Tuesday at 11 am. I think I slept only 3 hours and 20 minutes or I’m just kicking it out loud. This was a very tiring trip I confess. Maybe because it was almost a change of two months and a week. On the bright side, the production has provided a nice apartment for me to live in. My new home is beautiful and comfortable, one block away from Crescent Street, here in Montreal - Canada. Honestly, I can’t believe I’m finally having the opportunity to work with Xavier Dolan, I left my family in Brazil to embark on this dream, I already miss them. I should tell you that I have no idea of the cast that will be on this project, but the script looks fabulous. Before I embarked on this opportunity, I realized a portion of the dream. I and 7 other members of the team dined with Dolan last Thursday, debated the first decupagents and agendas. We had already read the script before the meeting, is it a low-budget experimental drama, and honestly? I lost my breath. I’m not in the position of art director I’ve always dreamed of, but I’m in the position where I have full knowledge and experience. Curious, I am not trembling with nerves, I am completely at peace with this realization. However, very anxious. We’re less than two hours away from reuniting in Saint-Laurent with the cast of "A race by Joseph". [.... ] - Less than two hours later. Okay, I’m about to get my guts out from all the nerves. I’ve heard of some names on the list of actors, including Troye Sivan, Vincent Cassel, and Louise Coldefy. The team is sensational and fucking, Xavier is like a master for me. I need to make these days my best college. I’m at home/rental number six, it’s wonderful. I can see two cars coming through the window, and "God bless me so that Suzanne Clément is in this cast" [Spoiler, I wasn’t, I had to accept], I think I’m going to have an anxiety attack, I need to splash water on my face. I lost count of how many times I filled my hands with water and threw it in my face, I needed to understand that I was really living this moment. I came out of the bathroom apprehensive. Céline handed me a cup of tea mix of Sage, Eucalyptus, Lemon Peel and said "Hey, relax, I’ll see you in the living room.. ah, one more thing, don’t freak out". I feel a chill creeping all over my body as I walk through the door frame. Everyone was waiting for me in the room so we could debate the first two weeks of the recording. I could feel my legs swaying to the point of not having enough sustenance to stand. Timothée Chalamet was sitting on the arm of Dolan’s armchair in silence, reading what would be the 4°page of some document. Quickly he gets up and presents himself squeezing my hand gently. Silence has taken over the environment, I don’t remember my name. [I remembered! ] It was remarkable how difficult he was to pronounce it, it made it all very comical, in seconds we were all laughing. At that time, other cast members performed, but my thoughts were so far away that I don’t know if I missed any important information. [Damn, how many questions are going through my head right now? I don’t even have control over them. Stop! Focus, your future depends on this delivery. ]

[.... ] With the passing of the hours I was reasonably more relaxed and with an unparalleled feeling of gratitude for what was happening to me. We discussed the script, much of it together, the day was very productive. I kept looking at him, he’s so funny and authentic, I feel comfortable now. Obviously we wouldn’t be friends, he wouldn’t notice an assistant director [even though I’m the director’s right-hand man]. The team will be dining with the cast soon, it’s 5:47 pm and I haven’t been able to confirm my presence at this dinner. What’s my problem?! Celine: You’ll go, right? We’ll go home together and unpack. Me: Oh Céli, I don’t think I will. I have a lot to pack, tomorrow starts the recordings and I want to do everything right. Celine: No, you are not going to organize things by yourself. Nor has dinner there in the house, let’s eat please, I’m starving. Think you need to catch up! Me: Relax Celi, I’ll do things in my time, have a wine while I cook something and sleep early. Look, Wednesday we won’t record.. We can go downtown and get a quick look at the city, what do you think? Celine: You’re hopeless. Well, I’ll tell you about it. Arriving at the apartment I opened all the windows, and went to cook thinking about what the following days would be like. I decided then that I should not intensify anything, it could disrupt me at work and I can’t let my impulsive Aryan side get out of hand. I decided to go to the disco and see what the last song the host of the apartment heard. Well, did you start playing Nick Drake’s Pink Moon and honestly? I can’t let the pink moon get me. Fuck, I’ve never seen anything more beautiful in my entire life, it’s as fascinating as on screens or in photographs. [Stop! Concentrate. ] [...] 00:01 am The wine bottle is 98% empty now. I have not yet fallen asleep and Celine is already in her 8th deepest sleep. I need to sleep. She said that they were so energized, that the team’s relationship is great and that she ate a delicious Poutine, I found it very courageous for those who will spend the whole day recording tomorrow.  [I’m laughing alone while imagining a disaster] I will sleep and tomorrow will be the first day of my life. I swear I was born now and suddenly everything changed. Things will be built from now on. Timothée Chalamet? I hear you’re a good actor, I don’t know you. Good night and see you soon.

Part 2

Day 50 - And I’m probably happy, could it be different? November 27, 2023, Friday. There are times I do not write in this "virtual diary", my days are super busy. Today we finish the work a little earlier, we finish the movie! I think it’s 4:00 now. Right, and why did I come back to write? Well, I wanted to forget the feeling that took me completely 50 days ago. But today something has happened that does not allow me to escape any feeling that exists here. Louise is severely ill, Christ! We’re at the end of the shoot, she’s Timothée’s date, missing four takes of a kiss between them for her last acting scene. Dolan needed two different angles and he didn’t have a voice voice available so suddenly. Louise and I have very similar hair and what I feared went through Dolan’s mind. "Be the Double" he said. Yeah, Chalamet and I kissed today, and, hell, there was no professionalism on my part or for a millisecond, I feel terrible! I felt like I had been thrown out of a plane and I was in a free fall. My heart had never accelerated so much. My fantasy almost made me believe that one of the butterflies in my stomach was coming out of my mouth 1 minute later. Holy shit! [What if it was not reciprocal? Of course it was not, silly! We are friends. ] I’m so pissed about it, I’ll tell them why.

All these days I’ve really become friends with Timothée, can you believe it? I’ve always been very afraid to talk to him because he doesn’t find me interesting enough. But we have an unusual tune. We had a lot of coffee together, a lot of claquettes I hit due to recording mistakes, we went out with the guys several times, even "alone" and that’s okay, we talked about Brazil and he made sure to go there anytime, I even smoked one of his cigarettes, even hating cigarettes. We were talking about how funny Vincent is and how amazing he is, and we were talking about how they were both working for the first time with Xavier Dolan. We laughed at stupid things until the belly hurt and even bet race in the parking lot next to the location. [He won, of course, has huge legs].

One day we were together cutting fruit for the rest of the team on the set as we talked about Georges de La Tour, "That ordinary painter" I said, and he gave a delicious laugh. He’s much simpler than I thought he could be, carries an admirable humility. And I swear, it was fine, because I was fascinated by that friendship and I could feel that it would last for many years. I’ve learned to deal with your stunning beauty. I liked the way he accepted me and had fun with me. He didn’t think I was silly. I was working for a salary and a bright future, and suddenly I felt I had won the lottery until that moment after the kiss. I feel like I’m failing at my resolve. To finish screwing with my mind, Celine told me something that made me much more sensitive about a feeling that, I swear, once again, I had managed to forget. Although I often fantasized that a mood was going on, I knew it was impossible. He definitely sees me as the cool girl makes him laugh and that he can truly trust. Celine: Look. I, for recklessness, overheard Timothée talking to Troye about you. I did not hear enough but I must say that your tone of voice was of pure indignation... Troye said, "She’s the kind of girl you want so much, you feel sorry for". Me: God damn it, did he hate my kiss?! I’m going to die, Celine! Troye clearly should be making fun of the situation. Who am I supposed to show up at Dolan’s tomorrow for dinner? Celine: Calm friend, you are traveling.. I have noticed things and I will not open my mouth. Everything will be fine, seriously.. kiss the chalamet? How can you be angry about that? [laughed] By the way, tomorrow after dinner, I’ve arranged to spend the night at Julie’s, do you want to go? Me: Oh.. I’m not in the mood to hear Julie talk all night about the new vegan recipes, sorry, pal. Celine: Okay.. I won’t bring you nice things. [My phone vibrated. I was reluctant to look, but it could be work.. ] Text Msg Timothée: I hope you’re okay, you seemed strange going away. Want to talk? By the way, you did well in tonight’s performance, you should try harder. Me: Says my angel, how are you? I am well, of course I am. [laughs nervously and it was noticeable] I was just nervous to have to act for Dolan and know that I will see myself on a movie screen, even if at closed angles. By the way, Mr. Chalamet, thank you very much. I have the seal of approval that interests me hahah Msg of text Timothée: I like it. See you tomorrow? Me: Yes, of course, until tomorrow! Msg of text Timothée: [video uploaded]

Part 3

Day 51 - Ecstasy, landscape of the soul. November 29th, 2023, Sunday morning. I don’t know how to write about how last night went.. I was upset, but I remember everything. I won’t be able to keep this journal after that I’ll tell. We were all gathered at Dolan’s house, drinking and laughing a lot, toasting to finish this incredible project. I already felt completely dizzy and with the warm body, things kept spinning in my head, it was so beautiful. He wore a leather jacket over the green sweatshirt, had a golf cap (Odd Future) hanging on one of the pants straps where his belt was, the black jeans almost on his knee and a red vans, and that hair.. that hair! It’s like a restless ocean. I was wishing to walk across the room and kiss him again with all the intensity that belongs to me, he would like it this time. My body was on fire, suddenly I was frozen, it’s coming toward me. I knew I could spoil any conversation by being totally random and awkward, I was dying of shame in advance. Timothée: Are you happy? Me: Sure, congratulations! You did a great job, I’m very proud of all of you. Timothée: Thank you, but none of this would have been the same if you weren’t on the team, right? Me: Right! [Cheers] [Silence] Timothée: What are you thinking right now? Me: Who you are, Where you’re from, don’t care what you Did as long as you love me..[I started singing As Long As You Love Me by the Backstreet Boys, really?] Timothée: Oh my God! [He laughed almost for the world to hear]. Are you going to Julie’s with Céline? There’s going to be a vegan class. I’d like a pizza, okay? Me: Look.. I also wanted a pizza instead of vegan food.. But I’m getting dizzy and I think I’m gonna go home and do my drunken show in the shower. Timothée: Ah.. Right, you’re dizzy, but you still know how many fingers you have here? [He did an 8 with his fingers] Me: Yes, of course. I’m fine, man, I’m weak but not that weak. Give me a skateboard there! [I screamed, and they didn’t take me seriously] Timothée: So.. we can go for a coffee to break the alcohol and fill the stomach with a piece of pizza, what do you think? Me: Wooah! Come on, send world pizza! [I couldn’t say no, I was completely taken. ]     We got to what used to be a kind of blinker-light coffee, it had a super-hot vibe. We sat down and made the request, we laughed drunk and said nothing that made sense, I felt our friendship alive again. However, the silence and the exchange of looks came, so we could hear the music that played in the background. It was "And I Love Her" by the Beatles”. Suddenly he began to sing. Timothée: "She gives me Everything and Tenderly. The Kiss my Lover brings, she brings to me and I love her." Me: Yeah.. beautiful music. You sing over and over again better than me. When did you start playing music? [My hands started sweating] Timothée: [he laughed] Are you all right? Me: Timmy. .ah.. I think I’m going home to take another shower, rest and call my family, I don’t know. Timothée: Okay, I’ll accompany you, I can’t let you go back alone so late. Me: You don’t need my angel. I’m a ninja! [I made the shameful gesture of a martial coup and tripped. The truth is I wanted him to insist] Timothée: Without that [laughed] let’s go!

We got to the apartment, he came up with me and put his coat on the couch. I offered him water, am I pathetic? He said he did not want to, but that if possible, he would like to stay. I felt as if we were talking by telepathy, I am not crazy. He feels the same. I said he could stay, even super apprehensive. I took two cigarettes from Kumbaya that I made on Tuesday and shouted from the room "let’s get some air on the balcony while we smoke!?". Upon returning to the room, he had put Cigarettes after sex to play, silently. Nothing but the music. Breaths. Another dose of silence. My body pumped blood with so much speed, [says something] I thought. He touched my right hand and looked at me. Those green eyes made me feel warm inside as never before. I got up the courage to pull him to the balcony that led to the fire escape. The sky was beautiful and the wind touching our faces was like a sky giveaway, I needed that fresh night air. Timothée: Do you need me to say it? I can say it. Me: I know what you’re going to say and I’m terrified. You want me too. Timothée: I want to. You make me feel good. I feel my presence truly when I share a moment with you. "Sometimes I think I’ve felt everything I’m going to feel in my life. And from now on, I won’t feel anything new. " Me: I promise that one day I will feel that everything is right. but it feels so wrong. Man, I feel like I’m living a fanfic, and I don’t want to wake up tomorrow and none of this ever happened, or worse, if it’s real, our friendship being compromised by what’s possibly going to happen here. He put his hands on my face, kissed my forehead. Timothée: The heart is not like a box that fills, L. It expands in size, the more you love someone. I’m different from you. It doesn’t make me love you any less. It actually makes me love you more. I want you. Me: Right.. We are here only briefly, and at this moment I want to allow myself joy. I want that, Timothée. And I promise that one day I will feel like everything is fine. He lovingly bowed to touch his lips to mine. Feeling those soft lips against mine, it was almost like an apocalyptic sensation, the world could end right there, would have no problem. We kissed as we entered through the large window of the room, the first pieces of clothing filling the lonely floor of the room. The music Sunsetz conducted our intimate dance. The words "you have to do the right thing, do the right thing" started to disappear from my head.

I feel overflowing out of the body, sensitive, I am under the effect of exaltation, very intense feelings of joy, pleasure, admiration, reverent awe... Timothée. I truly love him. We are lying on the living room floor, apparently wrapped in a curtain that has been disastrously removed. Timothée, his breath is hot, the sound coming out of his mouth shivers my body. We were like the painting of Egon Schiele - Gli Amanti (L'Abbraccio).

Blackout. Light. The voice of an angel reaches my ear. My eyes open. He looked at me in silence, I could smell his mildly sweet citrus smell all over the room. Its aroma stimulates my sensations. Timothée: I’ll make you a cup of coffee. I’ll be careful with the amount of sugar, it’ll be just the way you like it. Keep lying down, angel. Geez, what happens now? I don’t know, he doesn’t know, you don’t know. Anyway, I feel complete.

[tea-with-veth]

Q&A with Teahound!

It is I, the author of and as he fell (you walked away) here to answer all your questions. Thank you for reading and asking questions for me to answer! Slight spoilers ahead, so be warned if you haven’t finished. 

S E Q U A L? Do you have any other fanfic plans? (This is the one the most people have been asking about, so I’ll answer it first.)

Yes, I do have an idea (who am I kidding, it’s a whole, insanely detailed outline) for a sequel to this story. It would be a longer story, and bring in a bigger cast, including the sleepy bois inc, Eret and Nikki, Tubbo, Schlatt, and a bunch of other characters you know and love. It would take place a few months after the events of and as he fell and would answer questions like “what happens to Dream when he leaves the forest?” “where does Bad come from?” “why is there a war?” “will George ever actually use those goggles I mentioned him having at least twice?” “Will we see more of Technoblade? (the answer is yes obviously)” 

When will you write it/will you write it? 

I’d love to write this, honestly. However, I definitely need to take a break to focus on schoolwork, especially now that finals are right around the corner. RIP. Also, it will be good for me to take a break from writing so I learn to stop checking my email every twenty minutes to see if someone has left me a comment. If I end up writing this story, it would begin sometime around thanksgiving break. If I decide not to do it, I’ll let y’all know, but it’s the plan, at the moment. In the meantime, I might do some one-shots, so keep an eye out.

What was the inspiration for this story? 

Last summer, when I was watching the Minecraft Manhunts with religious fervor, alongside the incredible animatics (Toni Tonight, if you’re reading this, this might be all your fault) I went “this would actually make a great animated show.” I then proceeded to tell my completely uninterested sister about my idea for a 3 season anime that started off as a creepy thriller and then ended with the Dream Team coming together as a found family. 

I never imagined that I’d actually write that story. But (and this is where it gets weird) I went to college. And I had to present a paper for my English class. I really love writing, and I was terrified that I wouldn’t do a good job. It gave me massive writer’s block. I couldn’t put a single word on the paper. So I decided to write something, just for fun, and share it with everyone on the internet to get past that hurdle. 

And then it turned into a part-time profession and obsession and was a ton of fun. The end.  

What is your process? Did you plan out everything before you posted this story, or have some sort of plan? 

I’ve been writing with an outline for the last five years or so, and I don’t know what I’d do without it. I start with paragraph-long synopsis of the story, which I break up into chapters, and expand on whenever inspiration comes. Occasionally I’ll improvise things as I write, but for the most part I stick with the outline, even if it’s very basic. For example, for chapter six I literally just wrote “healing/bonding montage,” and listed a few words describing different moments, like “apple picking,” and “swimming.” 

As for the actual writing process itself it looks like. “Sit down, say I’m going to write, check social media for an hour, write three sentences, cry, watch youtube, drink a cup of tea, eat a box of cheez-its, write four more sentences, go work on a completely unrelated project and be super productive at that, cry, check tumblr eighty times, and put off the rest of the story until the last possible second, or until I really need to focus on something else (aka, homework). 

How do you write fight scenes?

Okay, I’ve received a lot of positive feedback on my fight scenes, which is super encouraging because they are hands-down the hardest things for me to write. I usually have a handful of moments I know need to happen, like, “Sapnap gets disarmed,” or “Technoblade gets stabbed in the stomach,” but the in-between moments are a lot harder. When I get writer’s block, I’ll watch scenes from movies I like (or Sad-ist’s animations) read battle scenes from other pieces of literature I like (my motto is “when in doubt reread green&gold”) or run around my room crying. For the final battle against Technoblade, I got really stuck, and ended up storyboarding the entire thing on two sheets of paper, which actually really helped.

The Question No One Asked But I Must Share: Is there a playlist for this project?

Yes! There is! I have incredibly in-depth reasons behind every song on the playlist because overthinking things is my greatest skill, but I’ll settle for listing them for brevity’s sake. Be warned, it is mostly Cavetown. 

Plant Life by Owl City

Telescope by Cavetown

Lemon Boy by Cavetown (a classic)

Fake You Out by Twenty One Pilots

Somewhere Only We know by Keane

Home by Cavetown 

How are you doing? 

Thrilled, thankful, and over-the-moon with happiness. Thank you everybody, and have a lovely night. My inbox is always open, so feel free to stop by and say hi :) 

[whimsicallyenchantedrose]

Taking Back Neverland--Chapter 1 of 10

Pairing:  Captain Swan

Rating:  G or a soft T

Summary: AU. After actress Emma Swan's lead role in a popular TV show is at an end, she is offered the leading role in the Regina Mills film, Taking Back Neverland, a fresh retelling of the Peter Pan story.  It's a once in a lifetime opportunity.  Only problem?  She'll be starring opposite Killian Jones, who she positively can't stand.  (Originally part of my Fluffy Fridays collection.)

Notes:  So this is an old story, originally written about 3 years ago as part of my Fluffy Fridays collection, but @kmomof4 made the amazing above pic-set for it as a birthday gift, (Thanks Krystal!  It’s perfect!), and I decided it was time for a reissue.  Enjoy!

Emma Swan crossed her arms and took a step back. “No. No, not a chance. Not gonna happen. Absolutely not. Just NO.”

Why had she ever agreed to take this project? Why had she let Mary Margaret and Ruby talk her into it? Even just reading the script gave her a bad feeling about all of it—it was an interesting story concept but it hit way too close to home. And if that wasn’t bad enough, now they’d finished the casting and the producer, Regina Mills had just broken the news to her.

Well, they were just going to have to work on recasting a few roles because there was no way in hell she was going to act opposite Killian Jones.

~c~s~c~s~c~s~c~s~c~s~

Two weeks before

Emma Swan pushed open the door of the trendy coffee shop across from her apartment complex and scanned the room until she caught sight of her agent enthusiastically flagging her down.

Emma grinned. There was absolutely nothing subtle about Ruby Lucas, but she was also one of the kindest, most supportive people Emma had ever met, and Emma considered her one of her very best friends.

Emma grinned as she started toward the booth in the back where Ruby and their other best friend (and Emma’s brand new sister-in-law) Mary Margaret Nolan sat sipping at large mugs of fragrant, steaming liquid.

“Hey guys; how’s it going?” she asked as she slid into the booth next to Mary Margaret.

Ruby slid a mug across the table toward her. “We went ahead and ordered you a hot cocoa.”

“With cinnamon,” Mary Margaret added.

“Thanks,” Emma said warily. These two only had her order ready for her when they were trying to butter her up for something. “So what’s going on?”

Ruby gave her an exaggerated innocent look. “Going on? Why do you think something’s going on? Can’t a couple of friends make a nice gesture toward their other friend?”

Emma shot her a skeptical look, and Ruby sighed.

“Fine,” she said dramatically. “We did want to ask you something, but it’s not a bad thing. It’s actually business, and an amazing opportunity.”

Emma looked back and forth from one eager face to the other. “Why do I get the impression I’m really not going to like this amazing opportunity?”

“Oh you are, Emma!” Mary Margaret said. “It’s just…well, with your past and background, it might be a little…difficult.”

“Well that sounds ominous.”

Ruby slid a booklet across the table to her, and Emma looked at it curiously, reading the bold title written across the top: Taking Back Neverland.

“What’s this?” she asked, absently flipping through it.

“This, Emma,” Ruby said, “is your big break. This is the newest Regina Mills picture, and I got you an audition for the female lead!”

Emma looked up in surprise. Ruby got her an audition for a Regina Mills film? And a lead role at that? That was…amazing. Emma had gotten into theater back in high school when she’d been placed with Ruth Nolan, the best foster mother any kid could want.

In a lot of ways she owed her life to her foster family. She’d been seventeen, angry with the world, and well on her way to completely throwing away her life. Ruth had seen something in Emma, something no one else had ever taken the time to see. She’d been unfailingly patient with her, and when Emma was finally at a place where she trusted the older woman enough to listen to her, Ruth had made the suggestion that Emma try her hand at acting.

“Just think about it, Emma,” she’d said. “On the stage…well, you’ll have the opportunity to work through your anger in a productive way. You can channel those emotions you don’t know what to do with into compelling performances. Performances that will bring joy and entertainment and meaning to who knows how many people out there.”

And the little community theater had opened up a whole new world for Emma. She found her niche, her place to shine. Through her acting she could become anything or anyone she wanted. And when people started coming up to her and telling her how much her performance had touched them, how it had helped them work through issues similar to the character she was playing, it felt like her life had meaning and purpose once again.

Emma had met Ruby and Mary Margaret in college when they all roomed together during freshman year. It had been a bit of an adjustment at first; they were all so wildly different—Ruby over-the-top and a bit of a party animal, Mary Margaret wholesome, motherly, so full of hope it was disgusting sometimes, and Emma still a bit stand-offish with sky-high walls. Somehow they’d worked through those difficult weeks of adjustment, and they’d been inseparable ever since.

Just out of college, Ruby had become Emma’s agent, and promptly landed her commercials and tiny “extra” parts in low budget movies and TV shows.

But it was a couple of years later that Emma landed the role that made her a household name. She’d been cast as the lead in a prime time television show called “Welcome to Storybrooke”. She played a tough, no-nonsense bail bondswoman who teamed up with a small-town sheriff to solve crimes no one else could solve.

The show had had a good run, lasting five seasons, and Emma had loved every minute of it. She got along great with her co-star, Graham Humbert, and they had so much fun working together, Emma almost couldn’t call it work at all. There had, of course, been all kinds of rumors and tabloid stories that the two of them, who had eventually (and inevitably) become on-screen lovers, had been an item in real life as well.

She couldn’t deny she found Graham handsome, and she liked him a good deal, but that was all there was to it. They’d gone on a date or two, more out of curiosity to see if there was anything to all the hype than anything else, but neither of them had felt any great stirring of passion, and so they remained just good friends.

But amazing though her run on “Welcome to Storybrooke” had been, all good things come to an end, and for the last year…short of little bit pieces here and there…Emma had been out of work. Ruby had been burning the midnight oil for months trying to find Emma that big, break-out roll that would solidify her place in Hollywood forever.

A leading role in a Regina Mills film would most definitely do that.

“Wow,” Emma said, looking around at both the women currently beaming at her. “I don’t know what to say. This is incredible!”

“Yeah,” Mary Margaret said, “and that’s not even the best part! David and I just got cast in the film! If you get the part we’ll play���get this…your brother and sister-in-law. Talk about art imitating life, right?”

“I gotta say,” Emma said with a quick shake of her head. “It all sounds like a dream come true, so why the whole buttering me up thing? What’s the other shoe that’s going to drop?”

Ruby and Mary Margaret shared a significant look. “It’s just…” Mary Margaret said, putting a comforting hand on Emma’s arm. “Well, the main character…Anna Swan (yeah she even has the same last name as you! Is that a sign or what?) Anyway, her story has some…similarities to your own, and I can see where it might dredge up a few rough memories.”

“Okay….” Emma said. “What exactly does that mean?”

“You see,” Ruby said, “the whole premise of the film is that Anna Swan was a busy professional who…who suddenly meets the little boy she’d given up for adoption years ago.”

Emma sucked in a long, shocked breath as the memories slammed into her. No! No, no, no, no, no. That was not a moment from her past she wanted to dredge up. What were they thinking?

“It all works out well,” Mary Margaret hastened to reassure. “The boy gets kidnapped and taken to Neverland, but Anna goes after him, and well, she not only saves him—with the help of her brother and sister-in-law and her love interest, Captain Hook—but she finds healing in her relationship with her son.”

Emma got quickly to her feet, her head spinning. “Guys…” she said faintly. “Look, thanks for the opportunity and everything, but I can’t do this.”

She prepared to do what she did best—run—when Ruby got to her feet, the script in her hand. “Emma, I know how rough…that…time in your life was, but please. Just think about it. Read the script. Just don’t make a snap decision. Please?”

Emma stood still for long moments, fighting within herself, but finally nodded, taking the script from Ruby. “Fine. I’ll read the script, but that’s all.”

“That’s all I ask,” Ruby said.

~c~s~c~s~c~s~c~s~c~s~

Present day

Emma had read the script—and it spoke to her in a way nothing had in years, maybe ever. Despite the pain (visions of giving birth chained to a hospital bed, not even allowing herself a glimpse of her baby boy as the nurse took him away, danced through her mind), she knew she had to give this film a shot.

And so she’d gone to the audition…and had been hired on the spot.

She’d come in to the studio this morning for a chemistry test with the actor they wanted to cast as her love interest. It was only when she got here and was five minutes away from said chemistry test that Regina had given her the name of said actor.

“Not going to happen,” Emma reiterated. “You’re just going to have to look for a new actor, because this—me acting opposite Killian Jones—is not going to happen.”

Regina sighed in exasperation and rolled her eyes dramatically. “Miss Swan stop with the theatrics. It’s acting for heaven’s sake! You don’t have to fall in love with the guy, just act like you have. You are aware of the difference between acting and real life aren’t you?”

Emma groaned. “Obviously. But even if I don’t ‘have to fall in love with him’, I’ll have to spend long hours with him. Not exactly wanting to spend several weeks of my life constantly sick to my stomach.”

Killian Jones had a reputation a mile long that preceded him. He was your quintessential ladies’ man; a different woman on his arm every night. He drank too much, flirted too much, and had such a bloated opinion of himself it was a miracle he and his ego could even fit through the studio door. She knew the smooth talking “I’m God’s gift to women” type, and she didn’t want anything to do with him.

“Well invest in Pepto, then,” Regina said in her firm, no-nonsense voice, “because here’s the deal. Killian Jones is big. Really big. You have no idea what a coup it was for us to get him. So if any actor’s role is going to be recast, it’s going to be yours. Understood?”

Emma closed her eyes, mentally praying for patience. After a couple of deep, cleansing breaths, she opened her eyes once again. “Fine. You’ve made your point. Let’s get this stupid chemistry test over with.”

“That’s more like it,” Regina said with a nod. “Oh, and you may want to wipe that sour scowl from your face before the test. You’re supposed to be acting like you’re falling in love, remember?”

“How could I forget?”

Regina opened the door to the set where the test was to take place and motioned Emma forward. Emma set her shoulders and walked in.

“Hello, love; my name’s Killian Jones.”

Emma looked up into open, friendly cerulean blue eyes situated in the most handsome face she’d ever seen. As she took his warm, firm hand, and shook it once, as she breathlessly answered “I’m Emma Swan”, as he smiled gently, almost shyly, Emma realized she might just be in serious, serious trouble.

[jemariel]

Baby’s First Fic Rec List

Well Hello There! Somehow I made it to 366 followers!! I intended to do this celebration for 350 but, y’know, life, holidays.... So here it is now!

I haven’t been around this fandom very long, but I have never felt so at home and welcomed by a fandom. I’ve also spent the last year or so reading Destiel fic like it was my calling, my passion, my civic duty. Fun fact: when you dive into a fandom with 12 years of accumulated fanfic, there’s a deep deep well to draw from.....

And so, in honor of 350(ish) followers and my first year(ish) with this fandom, I present to you this list of recommendations! Just some faves and things I enjoyed reading . All are Destiel. Most are smutty. Mix of canonverse and AU, fluff and grit, plot and silliness. Some preference given to fics with fewer hits/kudos/comments than I think they deserve.

Happy reading!

....The Non-Smut....

mistletoe & peppermint cocoa by navylights Rated T 5.5k Summary: Cas and Dean are on a mission: to pick up the perfect Christmas tree for their first Christmas with everyone alive and well.And while Cas and Dean are out shopping, and buying cocoa on a snowy afternoon, a certain meddling younger brother is putting up mistletoe in the bunker.(Or, the absurdly fluffy Christmas carols/cocoa/mistletoe/tree decorating/Christmas lights fic of your dreams)

Dean Winchester’s Secret (Angel) Boyfriend by reluctantabandon, Winter_of_our_Discontent Rated T 11.2k Summary: Dean Winchester isn't exactly a team player. So when he starts mentioning a new Hunting partner, Ellen and Jo Harvelle aren't sure whether they should be worried or relieved.But they're starting to get the feeling there's something important Dean's not telling them about Cas... (Reccer’s note: It’s kind of rare to see really excellent extended-cast ensemble work in fanfic. But this? This is that.)

Raisin D’etre by starsinursa Rated G 1.1k Summary:  Apparently, Castiel hates raisins. (Reccer’s note: THIS IS THE CUTEST THING ON TWO LEGS.)

....Absolute Faves.....

Our Bodies, Possessed By Light by obstinatrix Rated E 40k Summary: Purged of all his souls, Castiel is a changed being, stronger than an angel and too powerful for Jimmy's body to contain. Happily, there's an archangel's vessel on hand, and he could use fixing, too. Dean isn't too happy about the idea of his brother acting as a vessel for Castiel, and Sam can guess why, but it isn't until Castiel gets inside his head and they learn to share the vessel -- and their thoughts -- that Sam realises Cas is as in love with Dean as Dean is with him. It's unfortunate that there's nothing much to be done about it now, but Castiel will get another vessel soon. The Winchesters will make damn sure of that. In the meantime, it's up to the three of them to establish their own strange accord, and Dean realises more fully than ever that it's Castiel, and not his vessel, that he loves. (Reccer’s note: Don’t let the premise squick you. This is very CLEARLY a Destiel story, in spite of Sam’s front row seat. I love all the relationships in this fic, Sam and Dean’s brotherly antagonizing/affection, Sam and Cas’s growing friendship, Cas and Dean’s straining, passionate adoration. All three of them are superbly written, but Cas especially. This also has some of the most scorchingly hot not-quite-sex ever written. Seriously. How can something be so fucking hot when everyone’s wearing two layers of clothing? Beats me.)

Rock ‘n’ Roll Queer Bar (series) by ChasingRabbits Rated E 126.7k Summary: Ellen and Jo Harvelle run Harvelle's Roadhouse, a bar that unintentionally becomes a beacon for wayward queer souls. Her employees: Dean, the smartass runaway with a big heart and bigger mouth; Castiel, the college drop-out turned hippie; his (surprisingly heterosexual) trouble-making brother Gabriel; and Charlie, who has been told several times that the back room is not to be used for after-hours Dungeons & Dragons games. But there's a lot of love in this place, and a new family for anyone who may otherwise be without. (Reccer’s note: The description doesn’t really do this series justice. This is the most realistic and beautifully and believably written long-term relationship I have ever read. They go through so much together, and they do it all TOGETHER. It’s beautiful. I devoured this in a day and a half, then went right back to the beginning and read it all over again. It’s Just. That. Good.)

Lots more under the cut!

....Shorts....

Angel-Mine by reluctant Rated E 4.3k Summary: Cas exhaled. "When an angel's wings are injured," he said to his feet, "the healing process can be augmented by… grooming, I suppose, would be the most accurate word. Removal of the maimed feathers to allow growth of healthy ones. Otherwise, they're left to fall out alone." He tilted his head towards the nightstand. "As you see." Dean stared at him. "So… that's why I can't help?" he said slowly. "'Cause I can't, y'know… see 'em? Or touch 'em?" "Yes," Cas said, slightly too quickly, and Dean snorted. "You're still a shitty liar, Cas," he informed him. "What ain't you tellin' me?"

Casturbatus Interruptus by smallhorizons Rated E 6.1k Summary: post-9.01, in a slight AU wherein Cas comes to live with the Winchesters at the Bunker. Written before 9.03. Crossposting from Tumblr. Written for a prompt from hightopsandsharpies: "Okay, so Cas is a virgin, and has no idea what pleasure is and Dean decides to show him and Cas gets all cuddly and needy afterwards." Dean walks in on Cas masturbating. He’s doing it all wrong, but when you’re a bazillion-year-old virgin, that’s to be expected. Dean decides to lend him a hand in a totally platonic, non-romantic way. Things get a little out of control. 

Angelus Domini by xylodemon Rated E 3.2k Summary:  "You're a fucking dick," Dean says, right to God's face. (Reccer’s note: In which Dean and Sam gain some heavenly grace and Dean and Cas don’t waste any time at all.)

we can watch the white doves go by xylodemon Rated E 2.7k Summary: "Wait," Dean says, just as the door snicks closed. It comes out as barely whisper; he clears his throat and tries again, a little louder this time. "Cas, I -- wait."

Oh! Darling! by castielsdemons Rated M 6.6k Summary:  Now that Castiel has fallen, Dean wants to let him know how much he cares about him. And if it takes two or three (or eight) tries to get it right, then so be it. Or, the seven times Dean tried to tell Cas he loves him and the one time he actually got it right. 

....Mid-length....

The Curious Case of Dean’s Missing Libido by thejabberwock Rated E 7k Summary: It’s been weeks since Castiel told Dean he loves him. Weeks since Dean answered him with a kiss. It’s been weeks, and they haven’t had sex.

Pronoun yourself out of this one, Dean by zation Rated E 11k Summary: When Dean gets hit by a gender-swapping witch spell it not so fun for anyone, until it’s kinda fun. Or, The one where Dean gets to discover a whole lot of new things. Like what nice hands Cas has, for instance.

Freckles by 2spooky4u Rated E 7k Summary: "I had to draw all them perfectly," Cas insists, and Dean suddenly can't get rid of the image of Cas, clutching on to a Crayola washable marker, jamming it into his skin forcefully like a little kid mashes his markers on the paper in a vehement attempt to make the color deeper. "And now you're insulted 'cause I don't appreciate 'em?" Dean asks, bewildered. "No," Cas lies petulantly. "Huh." The stubborn child version of Cas Dean has painted in his mind is now clutching his paper possessively, shielding it from scrutiny.They drive in silence for a while. "Thank you for making my freckles," Dean grouses finally, knowing that it's the only way Cas will forgive him. ((((OR, IN WHICH CAS LIKES DEAN AND HIS FRECKLES, AND DEAN IS STUBBORNLY HETEROSEXUAL))))

Sam Accidentally Sees the Whole Picture by almaasi Rated E 10.4k Summary: Sam's been through a lot lately, what with tonight's hunt rendering his skin an aching shade of purple and all. He can deal with Dean being overly concerned about Cas' broken finger, and - God help him - he puts up with the sound of their preposterously soppy love confessions and first kisses on the adjacent bed. But he cannot be expected to remain silent and feign sleep throughout the entire duration of their first-ever lovemaking session. He just can't. Especially not, because it seems apparent that Cas is more intent on deflowering himself than letting Dean do it.

The Things We Did (But Never Spoke Of) (series) by BadassCompany Rated E 17.9k Summary:  Now and then, when there is quiet from the bloodshed and chaos of the world, I think of Dean Winchester. About the things we did; beautiful, glorious, rough skin and wet lips; but never spoke of. He didn't want to talk, only to feel, and I didn't know what to say. ~A partially complete series of canon compliant smutty oneshots.~

worthy by jad Rated E 14.8k Summary: "... you wanna what, now?" Dean asks, because he definitely didn't hear that right.Castiel tilts his head, a leftover tick from his angel days that Dean would be lying if he claimed to find anything but idiotically endearing. He knows this is his own fault, owing to that rather memorable moment a week ago when Cas wandered into this very same kitchen with a (fairly) legitimate question and Dean just didn't know when to shut up.

The Adventures of Real Anal Sex (Starring Dean and Castiel) by tiptoe39 Rated E 9.7k Summary: This is how it really happened. Because this is how it really happens. Thanks for the tweet, Astroglide -- product placement is now yours! (Reccer’s note: Adding some of the relevant tags: Awkward Sexual Situations, yes people go to the bathroom in this fic. Butt stuff ain’t always Harlequin Romance perfect, but honestly? It’s better that way.)

Go with the Flow by starsinursa Rated E 7.6k Summary: The smug bastard obviously think he’s won this argument, because there’s no way Dean is following him into a yoga class. The day Dean starts saluting the sun and humming ‘om’ under his breath like he’s part of some creepy hive mind like the Borg Collective, well, he might as well just start making his own potpourri and frequenting vegan bakeries, too. Not gonna happen.So yeah, Cas is right, damn him. There’s no way in hell Dean is following him into a yoga class. There’s no way. There’s no way –- ahhh, fuck. Fuck it all.

....Novellas/Novels....

Oxymora by thejabberwock Rated E 27.6k Summary: Good things don’t happen to Dean, so he’s not even surprised when Cas tells him he misunderstood the I love you. (Reccer’s note: This hurts so good. The payoff is worth the pain. Warning for Dean/others.)

riptides by sharkfish (waitforspring) Rated E 39.9k, WIP Summary: “I’m going to kiss you now.” Cas pauses, giving Dean a chance to back out, but Dean just licks his lips and waits. Cas’s mouth is up against Dean’s for a couple seconds before Dean responds, and then it’s Cas that’s being kissed senseless, because kissing is definitely not something Dean does tentatively. Dean reaches up to cup Cas’s jaw in his hand, tilting his head for a better angle, mouth plush, tasting like whiskey. Cas tries to remember what it was like the first time he kissed a man. All-encompassing, the world jerking off its axis, the feel of stubble under his fingers intense in a way it never really is with women, as much as he loves them.

Cabin Fever by Dangerousnotbroken Rated E 35k Summary: Due to a romantic-comedy level booking blunder, grumpy stress-case Dean and reclusive writer Castiel end up shuttled off to the same remote cabin for two weeks, and nobody seems to care that neither of them wants to be there. But since they’re stuck in the same cabin for the duration of their vacation, they might as well play nice and make the best of it right? Wrong. Dean’s so stressed out he can’t sit still, Cas can’t boil water without setting the place on fire, and they’re so on each other’s nerves it’ll be a miracle if either of them survives until their rides home arrive. At least the tension is just social, and not sexual, right? Right?

traveling light by sharkfish (waitforspring) Rated E 42.8k Summary: Cas is, impossibly, far more gorgeous in person, and he’s taller than Dean expected, and he moves with this casual grace that makes Dean’s brain short circuit.So Dean thinks he probably looks a little like a deer in the headlights when Cas catches his eyes from the door of the restaurant. He breaks out into a smile, the full, wide one that never came out in his pictures, and Dean actually goes weak in the knees. “Cas,” Dean says.“Hello, Dean,” Cas says. (Reccer’s note: Cas is FtM trans in this story and it gives me... so many feels.)

What Once Was Sacred by saltandbyrne Rated E 55.8k Summary: Los Angeles detective Dean Winchester works tirelessly to atone for the sins of his father one case at a time. When his best friend Charlie drags him to visit Sam at his new job, Dean stumbles onto a bizarre string of deaths that brings him uncomfortably close to his past.Dean can't stop thinking about Castiel, an enigmatic DJ who plays the sexiest music Dean's ever heard. A chance encounter at Castiel's house reveals that Castiel is an incubus, and Dean must face the lies and the reality of his childhood as a hunter. Dean comes to see that he and Castiel have more in common than he thought, and that guilt can be the hardest thing to cast aside.

the taste of gravel in the mouth by beenghosting Rated E 22.4k Summary: This is what Cas gave up Heaven for: greasy diner food, shitty motel rooms with even shittier cable, long car rides spent in complete silence except for the same six tapes playing over and over again, and a burnt-out husk of a man who can barely hold a conversation anymore. (Reccer’s note: Warning for angst.)

PWP: Pie Without Plot by MajorEnglishEsquire, orange_crushed Rated M 82.5k Summary: he is in the kitchen with flour on his hands and an apron and there is flour on his forehead and cas leans across the counter and wipes it off with his thumb and dean says "thank you" and cas says "you’re welcome" very seriously and later dean makes apple turnovers and he only ruins them a little and sam realizes it’s not a real hunt like four days into it and he lets dean stay undercover for like a week and a half or longer maybe way longer because he is such a good everything (Reccer’s note: Warning for fluff.)

Strangers on a Bus by Terene Rated E 59.7k Summary: Castiel is flummoxed. This is a social situation he is not equipped to handle. What is the protocol when the stranger sitting next to you on a bus, whom you incidentally find very attractive, falls asleep with his head on your shoulder?

And now, a Shameless Self Endorsement.  Hope you stop by. ^__^

I’ve tagged a few authors here whose tumblrs I’m familiar with so @starsinursa @thejabberwock @xylodemon​ @reallyelegantsharkfish​ you’re in there! Many hearts to you, thanks for sharing your talents.

Others who might appreciate: @magnificent-winged-beast @daughter-of-the-rain-and-snow @saawek @sactownbrowns3 @rosemoonweaver @woahthisguy @suckerfordeansfreckles @rosemoonweaver @cas-essence @yourspecialeyes @yeneffersalamander @naruhearts @bae-in-a-trenchcoat @bend-me-shape-me @babyinthetrench @gneisscastiel @deaneatscake @silvie111 @jhoomwrites @tankewinchester @paperwhitenarcissus @thedogsled @helianthus21 @weathergirl83​ @ltleflrt​ 

[the-master-cylinder]

Bug (1975)

SUMMARY An earthquake releases a bunch of mutant cockroaches that can create fire by rubbing their cerci together. Eventually, most of the bugs die because they cannot survive in the low air pressure on the Earth’s surface, but a scientist, Professor James Parmiter (Dillman), keeps one alive in a pressure chamber. He successfully breeds the mutant cockroach with a modern cockroach, creating a breed of intelligent, flying super-cockroaches.

DEVELOPMENT/PRODUCTION Filmed in Panavision and Technicolor by cinematographer Michel Hugo, “Bug”, based on Thomas Page’s novel “The Hephaestus Plague”, is brought to the screen as a William Castle Production for Paramount Pictures. Jeannot Szwarc served as director. The assignment marks Paris-born Szwarc’s second credit as a theatrical film director. Szwarc also has a long list of credits as a writer, producer and director of television shows and made-for-television movies. The screen adaptation of “Bugs” was written by author Thomas Page and producer Castle.

In “Bug”, a deadly force is loosed among us. Not Martians or lethal bacteria from outer space, but fire roaches, thousands of them swarming, black and eyeless from a chasm opened in California by an earthquake.

As old as the dinosaurs and intelligent as the primates, they feed upon carbon, creating their dinners instantly by burning cars, houses, people, animals, whatever is in their path, with a flame that spurts from their exhaust. Moving by an ingenius method and shrugging off all attempts to destroy them, the bugs threaten to ignite the entire city of Riverside, California, before moving on to take over and destroy the rest of the country.

The plot becomes increasingly tense with the slow realization that something is terribly wrong. Events slide imperceptibly from what is real to what is conceivable and then perhaps beyond. Then, the fascinated scientist, who has come to identify himself with the dreadful bugs, discovers how to kill them, and they are killed-except for one that he breeds to a common roach. Then emerges the second generation: more deadly, alarming, intelligent and versatile than before.

The principal cockroach actors playing title roles in “Bug” are laboratory-grown cockroaches trained for their screen chores by an entomology scientist at the University of California at Riverside. Two weeks of location scenes were filmed at Riverside and its surroundings. Numerous outdoor sites were utilized by the camera as background in this historical territory, including the University of California (Riverside). The script called for the story to be laid in a small university town, and Castle felt that Riverside was an absolutely perfect choice.

The location filming generated extreme interest with the local residents, with many natives and UC college students hired to work as actors in the film.

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Hollywood has a stimulating effect on a town whenever a film unit arrives to shoot location scenes. To begin with, a record fleet of equipment-carrying vehicles, including an $85,000 Chapman camera crane truck, rolled into Riverside for the shooting. Almost 100 studio technicians scurried about, changing local landmarks to fit the script’s requirements.

“Bug” was a real event to the residents of this quiet, agricultural center, which is the home of the first navel orange grown in America, and the filming meant a huge financial boost to Riverside. Motels, banks, restaurants, sporting goods stores, gift shops, etc., were all the recipients of a financial bonanza as the result of the movie company locating there. Producer Castle estimates that a half million dollars was spent in Riverside before the company headed for home and the interior scenes filmed on the sound stages at Paramount in Hollywood.

The living room and kitchen sets from The Brady Bunch were reused in this film, although the living room set was rearranged slightly to a smaller footprint. Aside from a paint job, the kitchen set was otherwise unaltered.

CAST/CREW Directed Jeannot Szwarc

Produced William Castle

Written William Castle Thomas Page

Based The Hephaestus Plague (1973 novel) by Thomas Page

Bradford Dillman as Professor James Parmiter Joanna Miles as Carrie Parmiter Richard Gilliland as Gerald Metbaum Jamie Smith-Jackson as Norma Tacker Alan Fudge as Professor Mark Ross Jesse Vint as Tom Tacker Patty McCormack as Sylvia Ross Brendan Dillon as Charlie

CREDITS/REFERENCES/SOURCES/BIBLIOGRAPHY Quasimodos Monster Magazine#07

  The Nest (1988)

SUMMARY The sheriff of this small island town called North Port has a roach problem in his house. According to the local exterminator Homer (played by Stephen Davies), it turns out the whole town is about to have a big roach problem. Pets, and then people, begin to disappear or turn up dead and mutilated.

Although Sheriff Richard Tarbell (played by Frank Luz) is dating Lillian, the owner of the local eatery, his high school sweetheart Elizabeth Johnson returns to the island after a four-year absence and their romance blooms again. Elizabeth (played by Lisa Langlois) happens to be the daughter of the town’s mayor, Elias Johnson (played by Robert Lansing), who is in cahoots with an evil corporation called INTEC that has been secretly breeding mutant roaches that are immune to normal insect repellants. They also seem to have the ability to assume the form of anything they kill, leading to some animal/roach hybrids and even 2 roach/human combos.

DEVELOPMENT Made by Concord Pictures, directed by Terence H. Winkless, who will be making his debut. He is a co-author of The Howling (1981) script and a horror movie freak. Kelly Howe, who is also a member of the SFX team “Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)” is in charge of SFX. He is a newcomer and creates a powerful monster that is as competitive as a real cockroach flock.

The filmmakers utilized 2,000 flying cockroaches during filming at Quicksilver Studios in Venice, Los Angeles. When some of the insects escaped into nearby dressing rooms, the American Humane Association were unable to assist them as the organization must be contacted prior to shooting on matters concerning insects.

The result is yet another first: the first solid, quality horror film from Concorde, which usually turns out campy cheapies like Munchies and Chopping Mall. Not only is it gut-level effective, but it sports a surprisingly slick, polished look for its budget of less than $1 million. Based on a novel by Eli Cantor (published under the pseudonym Gregory A. Douglas).

What attracted Winkless to Robert King’s screenplay, however, was not the horror as much as the story’s potential for humor. “What I liked about the script was the fact that you could do some comedy with it,” he explains. “If you try to take the bugs completely seriously, you’re going to fall on your face. I think the movie bears that out. Life gets really absurd sometimes, and what better way to talk about how absurd it is than when the fat lady is lying in bed and the bugs are crawling down her cast? You can’t take it seriously; it would never be true horror like Halloween or ALIEN, but it could be sort of comic horror.”

The movie’s best comic achievement is the character of Homer (Stephen Davies), the island’s resident exterminator, who prefers to be called a “pest control agent” and is barely fazed by the horrific goings-on around him. “Ostensibly, the hero of the piece is the sheriff (Franc Luz), but I’ve always been sort of a closet anarchist, so my hero in the movie is Homer. He’s really the guy who winds up saving the island.” Winkless reserves special praise for Davies, an old friend he fought Concorde to use. “He’s a brilliant actor,” raves the director. “One of these days he’s going to be a big star.”

Winkless first met Davies through fellow USC film school alumnus John (The Razor’s Edge) Byrum, who wasn’t the only classmate of his to become well known; John Carpenter, Dan O’Bannon and Nick Castle attended the school at the same time. Prior to working behind the camera, Winkless’ first professional job was as an actor of sorts, playing the gorilla in the kids’ TV show The Banana Splits. He went on to become a scriptwriter, his best-known credit undoubtedly the one he shares with John Sayles for the screenplay adaptation of Gary Brandner’s The Howling.

According to Winkless, though, this work was not collaborative; he has never actually met Sayles. “I worked only with Joe Dante and producer Mike Finnell,” Winkless recalls. “They had bought the book, and all they kept was the title. They threw out the book, and we started from scratch. I did my draft, and then they had Sayles do another draft after me. I admire his work – and I hope he admires mine!”

Winkless had been in constant contact with Concorde president Roger Corman since then, and his agent was a friend of Corman’s wife Julie, who produced The Nest. When said agent found out that the Cormans needed a director for the buggy saga, he advised Winkless to go for it, and Winkless found himself attaining every scriptwriter’s dream: directing his first feature. He describes the experience as “my greatest fantasy and my worst nightmare. The scariest thing about it was that, to a certain extent, I could predict what the actors would do, what the cameraman would do and what the editors would do, but you couldn’t at all predict what the bugs were going to do. For a first-time director, having this great unknown factor was a thrill.

“Actually, that was more humorous than anything else,” Winkless continues. “I was constantly shouting, More bugs! More bugs! Of course, there were never enough bugs, and they were always escaping. I kept stooping down and picking them up, and I’d get pissed off finally and start stepping on them because I was angry that they were getting away. Then I would stop and think, ‘My God, I’m stepping on my stars!

As the movie’s roaches continue to mutate, they begin to genetically combine with the creatures they eat, resulting in a number of grotesque hybrids. FX man Cary Howe was responsible for creating the monsters, including a feline roach creature and a man transformed into a humanoid insect. There’s also a giant roach/human “queen” that is faced down by the sheriff and the mayor’s daughter (Lisa Langlois) in the finale.

Originally, this last monster was to have lurked in the shadows, but Winkless found Howe’s work impressive enough to bring it out into the light. “Cary had put an arm on it that would move, and the producers said, “Gee, that’s terrific, can you put another arm there, and there, and over there?’ So they kept adding appendages. It was all for the same money, so Cary had his work cut out for him. But it worked out great.”

The genesis was that I had the type of assistant everyone needs, and that is someone who comes in Monday morning and says, “You haven’t read this script, you need to have this meeting” and gives you the agenda for the week. Her name was Lynin Whitney. She came in one Monday morning and said, “Hey, wanna make a bug movie?” and I said, “Only if you do all the work.” The Nest was a novel [by Eli Cantor, using the pseudonym Gregory A. Douglas] Lynn found. We acquired the rights, and the screenplay was written by Robert King, who went on to create the series The Good Wife with his wife, Michelle. The director, Terry Winkless, was originally an actor-a clown, in fact-on television, so he is very good with actors. He went to film school and became a director. I think The Nest is underrated. – Roger Corman on The Nest

CAST/CREW Directed Terence H. Winkless

Produced Julie Corman

Written Robert King

Based on The Nest by Eli Cantor

Robert Lansing Lisa Langlois Franc Luz Terri Treas Diana Bellamy

Music Rick Conrad

CREDITS/REFERENCES/SOURCES/BIBLIOGRAPHY Gorezone#02 Fangoria#328

DOUBLE FEATURE RETROSPECTIVE – Bug (1975)/The Nest (1988) Bug (1975) SUMMARY An earthquake releases a bunch of mutant cockroaches that can create fire by rubbing their cerci together.

[kuwaiti-kid]

Unmasking the Armorer: Emily Swallow Talks About The Mandalorian, Fans, and Set Life

Emily Swallow has appeared on both stage and screen, lending her talents to roles on The Mentalist, SEAL Team, Castlevania, and most notably as “Amara” on Supernatural and as “The Armorer” on The Mandalorian. 

Maggie Lovitt (ML): When I told a couple of friends that I was going to interview you, they got super excited because you’re from the DMV like we are. Are you proud to be from this area?

Emily Swallow (ES): I am! When [my husband and I] were driving down to Florida we drove by the sign for Walter Reed Army Medical Center, which is where I was born, and I pointed it out to my husband. I love Virginia. I loved going back there for school. I mostly grew up in Jacksonville, Florida. We moved down here when I was seven. I went back up there for the University of Virginia. 

ML: How did you get into acting? You initially went to college for something entirely different, right? 

ES: UVA was where I made the decision to pursue acting as a career. I did theater in middle school and high school, and I also did community theater. When I was at UVA I was a Middle Eastern Studies major and I thought I was going to go into the foreign service. I was also very heavily involved in the drama department and I’m so grateful that the drama department there is so open to non-majors, because it meant I could do both things. Then I had a really wonderful acting teacher who encouraged me to think about pursuing acting. He helped me work on auditions for grad schools and I auditioned for several. I got into NYU and I knew it was a good one, so I figured I should take advantage of that opportunity. I’m so glad that I did. 

ML: How did you get your SAG card?

ES: You know, I was asked this question in another interview recently and I’m not entirely certain what my first SAG job was. I was trying to look back on my member page to see when I became a member, but it didn’t tell me. I think it was a movie that I did called The Lucky Ones a few years after I was out of NYU. I mostly did theater and then I did a little bit of TV. I feel like the television work that I did at first was back when SAG and AFTRA were two different unions. I think some of the work I did was AFTRA work. 

ML: Did you grow up as a fan of Star Wars? 

ES: I was a fan, but I don’t think I had any idea of the depth and the breadth of that universe. I definitely remember the movies being part of my childhood. I remember Ewoks dolls and I absolutely played Princess Leia in reenactments with my friends. I had seen the other movies since then, but the whole world of the Mandalorians was pretty new to me because I hadn’t seen The Clone Wars or any of the animated series. Now [that] I have gotten to watch them, I think they’re just so fun. Star Wars was something that was such a big part of my childhood, but now being reintroduced to it and getting to learn so much more about it has been cool. 

Photo credit Diana Ragland

ML: Supernatural and Star Wars which both have massive fan bases. What has that experience been like?

ES: It’s such a gift. One of the things I miss when I’m doing film work is the connection to the audience. It’s part of theater that’s just so immediate. It’s so wonderful to get to feel that connection that so often you miss out on with TV. Doing these conventions and getting to meet these fans and find out what kind of impact the shows have had on them, what moment stood out, and what they like or don’t like about your character has been really cool. 

I feel that the Supernatural fan base is just beyond anything I had ever experienced before and now, getting to meet the Star Wars fan base, it is another level beyond that. Star Wars has forty years of fans and you get entire families that watch it together. I love that. I will say that there is this incredible feeling of joy that I’ve experienced from all of the Star Wars fans. They’re just giddy with happiness to get to cosplay characters and get to meet the different actors. Both communities really watch out for each other. I love the community that they have built. 

ML: A fan created a custom-made Armorer helmet for you, didn’t they?

ES: Yes! I didn’t get to keep mine because they’re holding onto that for future use. A fan who does his own stuff for cosplay and makes things for other people showed up at this convention and handed me the helmet. I was like “Wow, this is incredible!” and then he told me it was for me. I just lost it. I couldn’t believe it. I was just so excited. I brought it down to Florida with me to show my nephews. This is the only thing I’ve ever done that they’re actually interested in. 

ML: It seems like a great time to have an Armorer mask.

ES: The Armorer was just setting the trend before it was even necessary. 

ML: Both Pedro Pascal and Gina Carano have mentioned that they were sort of handpicked for their roles. What was the process for you? Did you have to audition? 

ES: I did audition. This was one of the characters that they didn’t have a specific actor in mind for. Actually, when they were first looking for people they were auditioning British women in their fifties and sixties. I am not either of those things. 

It was incredibly lowkey. I knew that it was something to do with Star Wars, but I knew so little about it. I didn’t know if it was a big deal or not. The audition itself was just me in the room with the casting associate and a video camera. I just had the scenes that they had given me and very little information because it was so secretive. 

ML: Did they tell you that she was masked? 

ES: They did. Which influenced my audition a little bit. But since I wasn’t actually wearing a mask in the audition, it didn’t really change the way I did it too much. I think I paid more attention to how I moved my body and communicated more that way. 

ML: Is that where the British accent came from?

ES: It was the casting associate that suggested that I do it with a little bit of British accent, because they had been seeing Brits for it. We just did it a few times and that was that. Then I got the call from my agent. I was still so unsure about what the show was. I didn’t know how many episodes I was going to be in. It was very shrouded in mystery. 

ML: Were you provided with any information about the Armorer’s backstory? 

ES: I wasn’t given anything specific about where she came from or what her origins were. It was mostly about how she functioned within this clan of Mandalorians. The function that she served as their spiritual leader, the one who keeps the history, and obviously the one who makes their armor. 

Jon Favreau mostly talked about images and the feeling of a lot of old [Akira] Kurosawa films. How the Mandalorians were like a samurai order of warriors. [He discussed] the formality and the regal feeling that some of those characters have. It felt like the Armorer needed to move very simply. He described her as a very zen-like person. She’s someone who has a lot of authority but doesn’t need to put it on display, which I really liked about her. 

ML: Did you come up with a backstory to work with? 

ES: This is not confirmed by anyone else in the production, but in my mind I felt that she knew Din Djarin when he was younger. So she knew a little bit about his origin and the path that he had been on. How he’s become this lone ranger. How he’s really lost touch with where he comes from. I feel like when he comes back to see her in that first episode, it’s like he’s coming back to his roots and starting to step into who he really is. 

ML: Do you think we might eventually get the Armorer’s backstory?

ES: It’s entirely possible. But there’s so many parts of the story to tell. 

ML: With so many of the roles on The Mandalorian requiring actors to wear full armor, what was that like? Did you all bump into each other a lot? 

ES: Oh my gosh, yes! It was ridiculous for those of us that were in the Mandalorian helmets. You don’t have a lot of peripheral vision. We realized very quickly that any extraneous movement was distracting because when you can’t look at someone’s face to see what they’re expressing, you find yourself looking that much more closely at their mannerisms. So anything extraneous took away from the story we were trying to tell. Just walking across a room, you can’t look down to see where you’re walking. That had to be stepping forward on faith that you weren’t going to fall on your face. But then in between takes, when we were trying to get situated and get into place, we were bonking heads and tripping over things. I would drop all of my tools for my welding and my forging. 

I keep saying that I hope they’re going to release a blooper reel because I think it would be pretty entertaining. 

ML: Watching the Disney Gallery: The Mandalorian program, it really showcased what a fun and creative set environment the series has. 

ES: I think that Jon [Favreau] and Dave [Filoni] really set the tone. Everything was very well communicated; the feel of the story and the overall arc of the story. Jon really encouraged the directors to lean into their own styles. There was such a feeling of trust. I feel that it relaxed and inspired everyone to work really hard to do their best. 

Everyone working on the show has so much love for the Star Wars world. All of us felt like this was our childhood dream come true. I was amazed every day at the level of artistry in my forging tools, all the little details in the sets and costumes. In my experience, it was a really joyful place to be. My work was limited to my forging studio and I’m sure it was a lot more physically exhausting to do some of the stuff in the desert settings. But everyone just gave it their all. Everyone was willing to pour their hearts into it and that just absolutely came across. 

ML: You have done voice acting on Castlevania, did that help you prepare for the Armorer when all of the dialogue is done with a mask on? 

ES: I think so. I think that it did come in handy. The voice is one of the first ways that I am able to connect with a character. My background before acting was in music, which might have had something to do with it too. My preparation for a voice acting character isn’t dissimilar from my preparation for other roles. I’m still trying to connect to the characters. Having that physicality, even if you’re only going to hear my voice still informs my voice. But it’s really fun to be in a voice-over booth, you have so much freedom to move how you want. You can do anything you want to do to connect to the character.

ML: Did you have to do any of the combat for the scene where the Armorer takes on the Stormtroopers? 

ES: I did a very little bit of it. I wanted to do it so badly, but the level of skill that the woman who did do combat was not a level that I could achieve in the time we had to film it. But I did train in a martial art style called Kali, which is what a lot of the fight was based in. I did some of the ends and outs and some of the transitions. The coolest parts of it were someone who is much more skilled than I am. I have to give credit where credit is due. That also was a moment that, even though I knew what happened in the scene, when I watched [the episode] it was just so incredible to see. 

ML: What were your favorite scenes to shoot? 

ES: I loved shooting the scenes prior to that one, where I get to reveal that The Child is in the line of the Jedi warriors. There was something so cool about getting to say “Jedi” and introducing that to the story, since it hadn’t been mentioned before that. It gave me the shivers. I like that scene for all of the action in it. Din finds out that he’s in charge of this child-being. I love getting to give him the jetpack. So many cool things happen in that scene. 

ML: That puppet. What was it like seeing the Child in action? 

ES: I didn’t realize just what an impact the Child was going to have. I didn’t get to read all of the scripts. I had the scripts for the episodes I was in and I also got to read six or seven. I didn’t have the entire story. I didn’t realize what a huge role he had. I was getting to experience a lot of the story at the same time as everyone else was watching it for the first time. I knew so little when we were shooting the series. It was really fun to get to be an audience member. 

ML: If you could choose your own sigil, like the Mudhorn sigil the Armorer crafted for the Mandalorian, what would you choose?

ES: Oh man! I think it would probably be my dog Norma. She would look pretty good. She’s half French Bulldog, half Boston Terrier. She’s got these incredible ears. I think her silhouette would look pretty good as a Beskar seal. 

Photo credit Disney/Lucasfilm

  ML: How heavy was the armor? 

ES: The armor wasn’t so bad. It was leather and a kind of canvas material. The leather was pretty supple, so it moved fairly easily. I wouldn’t say that I would love to wear it every day of my life, but it was very easy to move around in. The one thing that was challenging was the gloves that they made me. They looked great, but they were too big for me. It was very challenging to handle my welding tools. What turned into these beautiful forging sequences, were anything but that when we were filming them. I had trouble picking things up and I kept dropping things. I couldn’t tell if I was holding things right. That’s one of the times where you’re glad that you’re doing it on screen. They can just edit it to look great. You can’t do that in theater in front of the audience. 

ML: As a second teamer myself, I would love to know if the stand-ins ever had to wear pieces of the armor during camera rehearsal or just stunt doubles.

ES: We didn’t really have a lot of rehearsals outside of shooting. Most of the time we were dressed and ready to go. Especially for Pedro [Pascal] there were a number of stunt doubles and body doubles that were dressed up in the full Mandalorian armor. Most of us were just hanging out in our armor all the time, which was a great bonding experience. 

ML: Now, I thought I’d ask some fun questions. What is the earliest call time you’ve ever had?

ES: I don’t think I’ve ever been called before 4 AM. I was on the CBS show SEAL Team for a lot of this last season and most of my scenes were first up. Most of my mornings there started at 5:18. 

ML: What was your longest day on set? 

ES: I’ve had some sixteen and seventeen-hour days. I had some really long days on the set of Supernatural. Not the season eleven finale, but the episode before that. I was involved with fighting these angels and demons. My character got really beat up so I had a lot of prosthetics and make-up put on for blood, scarring, and burns. I had to get there early to get all of that put on, then there were long days of shooting, and it took awhile to get out of it [after wrap]. 

ML: I love Vancouver. It's one of my favorite cities.

ES: It’s a great city. I had never been there before I started working there. It’s my favorite place to go to work. I just love that it’s so easy to get out into the mountains or to the beach. It’s just beautiful up there. 

ML: I always joke that I got into acting because I love set catering. Which set had the best catering?

ES: Oh no! I think Supernatural. That might be because it’s the most recent in my memory, but the guys who cater for them have been there for years. First of all, they’re so kind. They’ll make you whatever you want. I’m somebody who likes to have a big creative salad and they always had great salad fixings. 

ML: What is your greatest weakness at crafty?

ES: Doritos! It’s so simple. 

ML: I bet the wardrobe loves that. 

ES: You can’t really hide when you’ve been eating Doritos. 

ML: There’s a great debate on sets about which is the best sparkling water. La Croix, Bubbly, or another brand? 

ES: I’m a fan of La Croix’s pamplemousse. It’s the grapefruit flavor, but it’s so much more fun to say “pamplemousse”. 

ML: What is something you always need to have with you in your trailer? 

ES: I always live in fear of having nothing to do on set, which is sort of ridiculous because there’s always something to keep you occupied. But I like to bring a book with me. 

I always bring my journal because if I have to wait a long time after hair and make-up, it helps me keep focused on the character and the work I’m doing that day. I love having good music in my trailer. One of the things I dislike about film is how much time you spend in your trailer. It’s a tiny space without much to do. I like to have some music in there. 

We wrap up the interview by discussing the uncertainties of this new world we’re living in. Her husband, Chad Kimball, is part of the cast of Come From Away on Broadway, where there’s a question about when they’ll return. 

“We can worry and fret, or we can assume that things will work out for the best. We might not know what the future looks like, but sometimes when things fall apart they might come back better than they were before.” 

The post Unmasking the Armorer: Emily Swallow Talks About The Mandalorian, Fans, and Set Life appeared first on Your Money Geek.

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[gretagerwigarchive]

Greta Gerwig's Gmail Thinks She's Pregnant

by John Del Signore, Jun 24, 2014.

source: http://gothamist.com/2014/06/24/greta_gerwig_sigh.php

Last week we spoke with Gerwig by phone, and tried to play it cool.

What are you up to? Are you multitasking right now?

Well, I just got done with a yoga class and I am waiting for a salad to be given to me, and then I'm going to walk home with it. It's not really multitasking, I'm waiting for someone else to give me food.

Is this a deli salad? Uh no, it's from a very nice new cafe that's opened up near me, which is delicious. It's called Peacefood Cafe, which ordinarily I would feel like, "No, I won't eat from any place called that," but it's really good and it's really healthy and delicious. It makes you feel like you're doing something really good for the planet even though you're just getting takeout. Which is exciting.

What neighborhood do you live in? I live in Greenwich Village.

You like it there?

Yeah, I love it. I've lived all over New York since I went to college here, so I've lived in a lot of different neighborhoods and am really lucky to live south of 14th Street in Manhattan.

Yeah, it's a pretty prime location. And with the gig you have now you can walk to work, right?

Yeah, I know. I do, I walk to work everyday. It feels like I'm living the modern day fantasy of what it means to be an actor. I actually ran into my friend, Matt Maher, who is also an actor walking to his show, and he said to me—we ran into each other and we were talking—and he said, "We're living the dream! We're in shows that we're walking to, and we're friends!"

He rocks. What is he in now?

He's in a play over at—I haven't seen it yet because we're up at the same time, but it just opened for previews. Oh God, I'm going to forget the name of it. [Editor's note: Maher is currently in The Muscles in Our Toes.] He's such a good actor. Anyway. We were mutually self-satisfied with the moment.  

I've never seen you in any plays in New York. Have I just missed them?

No, I worked in theater when I was in college a lot but I also did a lot of technical theater. I did work at the Ontological-Hysteric Theater Company, doing light and sound. And I was a stage manager at Summer Stock in Vermont. I applied to a lot of playwriting programs, and got rejected from all of them, when I graduated from college. So it's always been what I wanted to do, but it never seemed like it was open to me in the same way that film seemed to want me along for the ride.

But I've been watching all of these people and been kind of an aggressive fan for a long time. Sam Gold [director] is someone I've always wanted to work with and...anyway, I feel incredibly lucky because I actually feel like I'm, right now, doing what I've always wanted to do in that Freudian way of fulfilling some childhood dream. Which is maybe great and maybe that's what happens before you go crazy. I don't know.

Well, you're working with some of the coolest people in New York. I know! I'm so lucky.

But aside from that, what is it that about the play that attracted you to it? When I started reading the play, I knew very quickly that it was good and that it was written by a person who was a good writer. I just felt like I could hear it right away. As I was reading it, I instinctively felt like it was playing in my head, almost like reading sheet music. As soon as I started reading it I knew how it should sound. And I really wanted to do it. I felt like the play took these leaps that I was not expecting, which was thrilling and scary. But I think I really knew right away. It was just from the first scene, from the way it was written and the way it looked on the page, and the way it sounded to me. I thought, "Yeah, I want to do this."

Sex seems like another character in the play; it takes on a whole life of its own. Did you have any inhibitions about doing any of this stuff live on stage?

I mean, I think I have a certain amount of amnesia about this stuff. Like future amnesia about it. It doesn't actually occur to me that I'm going to have to do it every night, or, if it's a film, that I'm going to have to do it at all. Or if my body is actually going to be fit enough to do all that stuff!

So, I didn't think about it until we were in rehearsal and then I thought, "Oh no, oh goodness, this is going to be a lot." I think being with Sam, who I trust so much, helped alleviate a lot of that concern. But then it was really a process of getting there by gradation. I mean, even things like, I have to wear that nightie for a lot of the play and I knew I would be embarrassed in it so I started wearing it pretty early in rehearsals when we were blocking. Because I knew I had to get comfortable ultimately with a whole room of people looking at me wearing that nightie. If I could just begin and get comfortable with Sam and the cast and the stage manager, and then the producers, and then just expand my circle of comfort. And I think that's just what I did with all of the sex and the things that involved my body in a very explicit way. It was just starting at a very small, fixed spot and trying to expand it from there.

Did you know Scott Shepherd before you did this?

No. I told him I felt like I knew him because I saw Gatz. I knew a lot of the work he's done with The Wooster Group but Gatz: we hung out for eight hours, remember?! But he doesn't remember. I'd never worked with him, but I have so much respect and admiration for him. He's the only actor I've ever met who, if I mess up, looks at me with total interest because something is happening that's new and he just looks at me like, "Now what are you going to do?" I mean, if another actor messes up I look at them with panic. Because I think, "Oh fuck, this is a disaster!" And he just approaches it where those moments are alive and exciting.

Yeah, I can see that being the case with him. So, what about the pornography? Are you actually watching porn during those scenes?

Yep! I really am. I'm really watching porn. But I can't decide what porn it is I'm looking at. It's pre-set for me by the production design team so it's all pretty loaded porn that I'm looking at. But yeah, it's real porn.

Was that really necessary?

I guess in some ways it's not strictly necessary but I think Sam really liked the idea that I would actually be watching porn. And he also had this thing about actually wanting to show how boring and pedestrian it is to watch someone watch porn and masturbate. He liked the business of it. We would talk through and he'd ask, "If you were going to watch porn what are the steps you'd take?" He liked me taking off my shoes in the scene where I put on a DVD of porn, which seems sort of sweet and quaint, but he liked the slowness of it. He wanted me to take my time and not rush through any of it. He wanted it to be as uncomfortable as it could be.

Did you feel uncomfortable?

Yes. I did. Yes. I got less uncomfortable as it went on but I think—not that anyone needs to spend anymore time talking about the difference between film and theater, but I do think that there is a significant difference. With film, especially with sex stuff, you know it's coming but you don't actually do it until you're doing it. And with this one, Sam was like, "I really need to see, there's no saving it, you really have to do it every time." And I had to get over it. In film I'm like, "I'll give it my all in a day and do it then." Leading up to it, it doesn't matter if you get it exactly the way it's going to be, I'll just do it then.

There's this scene where I go to get Scott's character a bandage and I go up to my room and it just said in the script, "She pants like a dog." And Sam was like, "I want something else," and I said, "I'm going to do something and it's going to be weird!" And I just put all the pillows together and got on top of them, and then I put my fist in my mouth and he said, "Alright, if you can do that every night then that's what I want." And I was like, "Alright, okay!" But it felt sort of embarrassing to have to produce those sexual things...I mean, I guess it would have been more embarrassing if he said "No, I don't want that."

I'm curious how you relate to Becky, and where you diverge.

On a very basic level, I've never been pregnant. So I spent a lot of time reading pregnancy books and talking to women who are friends of mine who have been pregnant. Because I don't have that sense of my body not belonging to myself, in some bigger way. And now my Gmail thinks I'm pregnant, which is hilarious. I fooled it.

I mean, I think one of the things that struck me about the play is how little biographical data we have about Becky. We know almost nothing about her. It seems like maybe she was a little bit of a party girl. She says, "I never thought I'd be anything really before I met John." There's something unformed about her past life. But I think that's key, because she's completely defined through the men in her life. And her husband, who said, "I think you can be a teacher." I mean, she moved in with him three weeks after meeting him in a bar. Her entire existence, I mean even moving to the country, the whole back-to-the-country life, I think is all his fantasy that she's going along with it.

And then when she meets Oliver, she goes along with all of his fantasies. And I definitely thought I understood who Becky was, but I thought I understood her most clearly in how she let other people dictate what the terms of her life are. Were. I didn't really do a one-to-one analysis, like, "This is like me and this is not like me," but I do think there is a feeling of being almost infantilized or made to be a child that some women take in a way to make themselves more appealing. I understand that and I empathize with it and my heart kind of aches for it.

And those times in my life, when I've felt myself being a thing that someone else seems to want me to be, I think a lot of that came out in Becky. I think a play keeps revealing itself to you, especially when it's good and the director and cast are good, and different things will hit me every night. Sam said this thing to me which I really have hung on to; he said, "It's like laying down sediment layers. Nothing gets lost, even if it's not the final form of it. It all just gets layered down and it evens and it changes." So even choices that were wrong, where Becky was going too far in one direction or another, or even blocking that didn't work or a line reading that didn't work, all those add up to things that feel richer if you hadn't gone down the wrong paths to begin with.

Every night, I'll hear a different thing. I think it was a week into previews when I heard the question: "Why is this grown woman asking her husband if she can have a bike?" All of a sudden, I was doing this scene and I heard it. And I thought, "What?" Because I'd always been treating that like it was the status quo, and that there were things that were brewing, but it was mostly okay and I was suddenly like, "No, it's already not okay." Even before he turns her down for sex. Already there's a problem. Or like actually hearing in the play that she never asks for sex until the end of the first act. She never actually asks for it. And that's a big part of the character, that you wouldn't actually ask for it. Things like that, I feel, is the richness of Penelope's writing, that it keeps things coming up on my radar every night.

Where are we at on How I Met Your Dad? Is there any future in that?

I think it's a bird that never flew. I think that's the truth about it. I mean, I loved making it and I love the people who did it, and I really enjoyed the process of it and it's a bummer that it didn't happen but I also think you can't get too frayed about this stuff. I mean, it didn't work, onto the next, is the way I look at it. I really hope I get to make something with Carter and Craig, who made How I Met Your Dad, and Emily Spivey who made the show Up All Night and wrote for SNL. I just really like them and I think, in my experience—I can speak with some authority on life because I'm thirty (that's not true)—but I've done this for eight years and I know no good thing ever goes away. It comes back around, and I'll make a show with Emily Spivey someday.

Sediment.

Exactly! It's in the sediment of television.

That's terrifying.

I know. But I mean, there was a project with Sam we didn't end up doing five years ago fell through and it was sad but now I'm getting to do this. I believe that it's a combination of sheer will and stupidity that allows us to keep going and to find each other. But I do think that, in any form, you meet people who speak your language, even if it's not that one it will be another one.

That's a great attitude.

Oh, well thank you. I really love Gothamist.

[davemerritt]

Dave...how is your loaf winner this morning?

Two thousand and eighteen. It’s frightening how fast the years seem to be disappearing so quickly, but as always on new years eve (and now new years day) I take time to look back over the last 12 months and all the things that have happened that make me appreciate how lucky I am, even if the months do seem be passing by right in front of my eyes.

So no better place to start than January 2017 and to begin the new year in a traditionally festive fashion I went down to Saint Marys to watch Southampton. I rarely get to go to the football these days, simply down to cost more than anything, but when I do get to go it’s always a joy, even if we lose more than we win. Steve and I also made the most of the gorgeous winter sunshine by walking our way along the Purbeck coast. After completing my runs for charity I’ve still kept up and entered a few events in 2017, but an issue with my foot meant I couldn’t compete at the same level, however in January I dragged my friend Jack out to Pipley Woods in Bath and we took part in the ‘Mud bath’ event which was exactly what you think it was, a rather messy start to the year for running indeed. Back at work we had the pleasure of welcoming Jim Parkyn to the art department for one day to run a workshop. Jim is one of the team behind Aardman’s ‘Shaun the Sheep’ and a wonderful nice chap and the whole day was fantastic. On the social side of things I caught Seaway at the Fleece and went to a Q&A with David Seaman and Lee Dixon that was a great little evening for the Merlin theatre.

The Westway cinema has always had it’s rustic charm and I’ve always been a true believer in supporting it, but it closed it’s doors all of a sudden one day but thanks to a small group of people at S&B cinemas in Burnham the Westway was saved and a conversion took place that saw the cinema split into 3 smaller screens, meaning the building could have a wider variety of movies on offer. Since it reopened in 2017 I’ve been multiple times (twice in the last fortnight just in December) and it is a wonderful asset to the town. There is no pretention, no gimmicks, no ridiculous coffee and no sky-high prices and the town should be forever grateful.  In February Jess was somewhat between jobs as her maternity cover at LTS came to an end and as a way to help pass the time whilst applying for new work she managed to find two little dogs that needed a walker and company during the week. These two little puppers are called ‘Diggory’ and ‘Pippa’ and I got to meet them this month and although Jess now sees them less than she did before, they are still a  lovely part or her life and it’s hard not to fall in love with them if you ever got to meet them. Not too much was going on around my own theatre work at the start of the year but Frome College put on a production of ‘We Will Rock You’ which Steve and I took ourselves along to in support and what a night! Frome really does have some of the most unique and wonderful talent for theatre and shows like WWRY are the perfect celebration of that talent.

At the end of 2017 I was lucky enough to get some photos published in Vintage Life Magazine and in March I finally got hold of my physical copy. Whilst the photos are certainly not my best work, I am extremely pleased with what myself and my model were able to get in such a short time and I am proper proud to see my work in print. Whilst my foot was giving me issues, we got the small group back together and took to the Battle of Lansdown course again to get wet, muddy, cold (oh so very cold) and exhausted whilst having a good laugh. It was brilliant as always and later in the year we had the sister event to conquer. Lucy from work turned 30 in March and had a Disney costume party to celebrate. Jess and I decided to go as 101 Dalmatians with myself taking on the role of ‘Cruellea Dave-Vil’ and Jess the 101st Dalmatian. Jess is so good at doing make up and costumes and I think our idea went down very well.

Heading into April and Spring (probably my favourite season if you’re wondering) Steve, Emma and I (plus Buddy the dog) made the most of the rather warm weather and take a long walk all the way to Nunney, Whatley and back again. I took a week off work in March and Lamb came to visit and so, in true local pride fashion, I took her (and Jess) to Wells to see the Cathedral and City. I left uni 7 years ago and I really don’t see my Solent friends enough, but Laura and I always do try and see each other even, if it should be more regularly, and days like the one we took to Wells are so important. Amy’s Tri Art dance showcase of ‘The Golden Key’ was this month and I was lucky enough to be asked to take photos of the performance. I never really get to see live dance and this was a real treat and a genuinely pleasure to photograph; some of my favourite pictures I took this year were from that show. April was such a busy month in 2017 and regular events such as The Mells daffodil fair were coupled with exciting new celebrations with the wedding of Ben and Becky and a new arrival for my friend Craig after he became the father to a wonderful sweet young man called Fletcher. My Frome FM journey is still very much in full swing and in April we moved into what is now our permanent (and still being improved) new home and the Town Hall, it really is a stunning building and it’s great for FFM to finally feel like it belongs somewhere, especially somewhere that is such an important local landmark to the town.

Slam Dunk. I know I sound like a broken record, but truly May only means one thing and that is the best day of the music calendar for myself. Slam Dunk was another triumphant success and I already have my ticket for this year and it is with a wide smile that the South date has returned to the Saturday and at a new home. Whilst still in Hatfield the event is moving, this is exciting but I really hope the festival doesn’t lose it’s up close and personal feel that makes it so special, only time will tell… So after months and literally hundreds of applications Jess managed to secure a new job last month with the outdoor pursuit wear company ‘Orvis’ and I went to visit her at her store in Bath in May. Jess defied the odds and worked night and day to secure that job and I am beyond proud of her. She is happy and successful in her new job and I can’t tell you how amazing it is to see her land this dream role. It’s also great because I get the chance to buy lots of great practical outdoor wear too. Five months into the year and the boys and I managed to get the first poker game of 2017 up and running, we’ve somewhat dropped the ball on how many games we get together and play but when we do they are always a great night, so here’s hoping to more in 2018. This month I also went to the Cinderella awards (we didn’t take home any trophies but it was a good night) and Jess and I also took Pip and Dig, who were now like members of the family, down to Lyme Regis for the day that was just perfect.

As part of Jess’s new role at Orvis she organises free fly fishing 101 sessions and so in true support I rounded up a couple of good friends and headed over to Bath where a wonderful gentleman named Simon taught us how to cast, all about flies and other skills in fly fishing, it was brilliant and we all had a blast. My first Merlin challenge of the year came in the form of our 24-hour production that was ‘Soho Cinders’. This was a hard process but another great success for the theatre and just means that yet again we’ve set our own bar to meet with future shows. Jess has become quite the keen Muay Thai boxer and in June she took part in a boxing demonstration at the Bath Thai festival. This was a really great day but the event was on the hottest day of the year, so hot in fact that jess and the other boxers came away with blisters where the floor of the ring was so hot. Yet again though Jess did herself proud and put on a great display for young and old. A couple of party’s took place in June too where we celebrated Amy’s birthday as well as Martin’s surprise party at the Grain where we were treated to an up close show from up and coming band ‘Bad Sounds’, they’ve gone on the great things and looking at a very good future in 2018.

Despite a pretty miserable end of summer, we were treated to some scorching weather at the start of the season. To start the month of July though we celebrated Jess’s birthday and did so by going to Airhop (please go if you haven’t before, and take me and let’s play dodgeball) and then watching Despicable Me 3. I think it’s important to have a very serious and mature set of celebrations and I think Jess would agree. I had a little job in July taking photographs at the Writhlington Sports Awards evening which was actually really good fun and quite inspiring too, on the way home though I had my first ever flat tyre, but to my luck Roxy who was with me stepped up and despite being dressed all snazzy (I had a white shirt on, this was note the time to change a tyre) assisted in getting the damn thing changed. We also had the good fortune of a kind Samaritan passing who was a mechanic who offered to save us getting dirt on our finery and put Alice’s spare on, a very kind gentleman indeed and full praise to Roxy too. I’m really lucky to have the best friends surrounding me and in July a few of us took a day trip down to Portsmouth whilst the sun was still on our side and had a bit of blast on the coast. I got up to so much in July on the weekends so here goes a quick (this won’t be quick) round up; Firstly Anne encouraged myself and a few others, including Simon and Steve, to take part in the Frome Fashion Show. This might actually be one of the best things I did this year, as we (with full on nerves) strutted our stuff down the catwalk. I never thought I’d do something like that ever and all I can say now is that I can’t wait to do it again this year (if Anne will have me). Secondly The Rood Rampage, sister event to The Battle of Lansdown, took place and the same group who had beaten TBOL got even muddier and wetter running around, and through, Rood Ashton Lake. The Rampage might actually be the best running event I’ve ever taken part in and despite it falling on the same day as the Frome 10k I will 100% run it again this year, and hope that my team will join me once again. Next this month Jess, Sarah and my sister went to F.R.I.E.N.D.S fest in Cardiff which was good fun and also Steve and I took ourselves off to the Breacon Beacons for the day, which was good fun but the wettest day of the year, the rain though did mean that when we found Henrhyd Falls it was in full flow and so impressive. A real treat for Frome this summer saw Michael McIntyre come to the Merlin stage and perform a work in progress show, I was lucky enough to be in the front row and it was a very special evening indeed. Finally, in July I decided to go for my first ever audition and try for a part in ‘The Vicar of Dibley’. I was fortunate enough to land the role of ‘Hugo’ and can’t wait to take to the stage in my first piece of theatre outside of a musical.

The Kairos show of ‘It Shoulda Been You’ was starting to get real in August as we only had a matter of weeks before we had to put this show in front of an audience. It had been a great journey so far and there wasn’t long at all to go. Anyway, in August I had a couple weeks off work as the college wound down for the summer and whilst it’s lovely to shut down, I get massive cabin fever, so this year I decided I would fill my days as best as possible, so days out this year included a trip to Old Wardour castle, the Durdle Door, Dyrham park and a real highlight was the day I took myself to the Bombay Sapphire Distillery in Hampshire which was a great day out and for anyone that likes gin as much as I do, you should definitely go and treat yourself to a little hour or so there. In August there was a good meteor shower promised, and so, myself and a bunch of great friends braved the cloudy looking weather and took ourselves up to the top of Cley hill in the hope we might see something, and in true perseverance we did and it was a great evening. Great things in the town this month were the annual comic con and Ash taking to the stage at the Cheese & Grain. Jess’s new job role was in full swing and she had to travel to Scotland this month for work and whilst she did I had my troublesome foot seen to and therefore couldn’t wear any shoes for a few days, so whilst I felt sorry for myself she was off earning the beans in Banchory. August also saw the youth production of ‘Les Miserables’ at the Merlin and I cannot even express into words how good this show was, it was a showcase of pure youth talent and ultimately moving and breath taking from the young people of Frome. Another real highlight in August though was a little holiday we took with Jess’s family down to the south coast. We stayed in an air BNB on this beautiful old farm and we held a family sports day, went to the beach and they even threw me a little surprise early birthday party, speaking of which…

I turned 30 this year. 30. Now I know that’s not old, but my word it’s weird. It’s weird to still feel like I’m 22 and living the dream at uni with not a care in the world and my whole future ahead of me, but actually now I’ve hit this milestone I might not have the kids I thought I would or own a mansion and drive an Aston Martin, but you know what? I’m a very happy man, with a beautiful girlfriend, a bizarre and wonderful little cat, the best job, a fantastic life full of fun, music, theatre, football and th best friends you could ever imagine. Annual events in September of course were the cheese show and the carnival, but the biggest thing to happen this month was that we were to open ISBY at Cooper Hall and what a pleasure this was. The show got funnier every time we performed it, the music was wonderful, the venue stunning, the (sell out) audiences fantastic and I fell a little bit in love with Albert. I truly can’t get enough of the Kairos theatre group and can’t wait to see what we do next, but you’ll have to wait until 2019 to find out what that is. September is also the start of the new term at work and, as you all know, my job is one of the best things in my life and I’ve felt I’ve always evolved within work and been given exciting and new challenges and this year was no different as I was given more teaching responsibilities, this has been incredibly demanding but I am loving every second and get the chance to work with some of the best young artists, a true pleasure.

The next big Merlin challenge came in October as the autumn production of ‘Guys & Dolls’ came to the Merlin. Now we don’t often tackle a classic musical, but Director Daisy really did a marvellous job of making this show come alive. It may have been the most draining and demanding show I’ve ever worked on, but the result spoke for itself and again, The Merlin can be proud of the people that give countless hours to keep the theatre alive. This month I also got my first taste of golf again for the first time since Frome shut it’s gates, as Mr Hynds took me to Orchadleigh’s driving range, which led to a full round in November. A great gig this month was the chance to see The Rocket Summer at the Fleece where Bryce played the whole of ‘Do you Feel’ in full. For Halloween this year too, I decided to go to the party as Alan Partridge in full ‘Zombie’ wear. Nobody actually got the costume, but I was pretty pleased with myself.

4 years I’ve been lucky enough to be with Jess and to celebrate Jess booked us a nice weekend away across the border in Wiltshire visit the STEAM museum and getting outside over a lovely hill fort. If there’s one thing that tells you someone’s a keeper it’s that they get that you’ll love a trip up a grassy knoll and around a museum all about trains. As said last month I tried the driving range and in November I played my first round of golf in an age. I was a touch rusty to say the least, but it was brilliant to get back out on the course. This month saw the rehearsal process for The Vicar of Dibley pick up pace as well as a great gig at the Komedia in Bath to see Deaf Havana on their tour of ‘All These Countless Nights’.

So December. My last gig of the year was a trip back to one of my favourite venues, the Joiner sin Southampton to see Ryan Key of Yellowcard perform a solo show as well as a band new to myself, Normandie, play a great set. The main reason to be there though was to see Grumble Bee, a wicked solo project from the nicest man called Jack, I implore you to check him out and I’m sure you’ll like his music. Outside of the usual Christmas antics, December saw a nice birthday night out for Davey, Jason Manford took to the Grain stage in what was probably the best stand up I’ve seen live and I went to my first professional panto to see Aladdin at the Hippodrome in Bristol. December also always means the Christmas musical at my second home of the Merlin and this year we put on another original script in the form of ‘Hansel & Gretel’. It was a fantastic show and yet again there were some really unique set pieces and outstanding performances, including some beautiful contemporary dance from Amy’s Tri Art performances, that despite being so young, put on some stunning examples of live dance theatre that many in the audience would never have seen before, the future really is bright for the young cast and performers of the Merlin Theatre trust me, names like Patrick Withey, Conny Hunter, Georgie Rose, Cordelia Tarbrooke and Dylan Berry (to name only but a few) are sure to be regular features in our programmes and who knows, the West End some day…

It’s safe to say that 2017 has been a blast. I’ve done some wonderful things and have so much to be thankful for. I’m loving still being part of Frome FM, I spend most of my days giving all I can for the Merlin, I’m enjoying my football again as we’ve moved away from the horror that is the pitch at the Frome sports centre and I’m still loving my work. 2018 has a lot to compete with but there are still lots to look forward to.  I’ll start the year the same way and go and see Seaway live, with lots of other gigs including, Don Broco, Lower than Atlantis, Tonight Alive, With Confidence, The Gospel Youth and of course Slam Dunk coupled with tickets to go to a night with Brian Blessed too. For Christmas Brillo got the family tickets to Harry Potter and the Cursed Child and I’ve got lots of things from the Merlin to work on including opening The Vicar of Dibley in February and I can’t wait to see ‘Saviour by the Amethyst’. Personally I’d like to take myself to the Edinburgh Festival this year, compete in a stack of running races and get as many little breaks away with Jess as I can. I’ve had a great year and I can’t wait to see what this one brings, so right now I’m going to finish watching the PDC darts final (come on Cross!) and bid you all a very happy new year

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Album of the Year // Deaf Havana – All these Countless Nights (It’s a masterpiece)

Movie of the Year // Star Wars: The Last Jedi (Other highlights included Get Out, Lego batman and The Greatest Showman

Game of the Year: Tom Clancy’s: Ghost Recon Wildlands. Not the most polished of games, but a total blast none the less

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