#hacked my brain lol
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Made some art yesterday while reflecting on solitude and sense of self
#I’m mad the scan of the first one is kinda blurry but I don’t have the energy to redo it#I was supposed to do hw but instead I spent five hours doing this it was quite fun#also got to listen to a YouTube video about why Fred is the best member of the scooby gang lol#this made me happy and feel content#also less overwhelmingly sad#googoogajoob#it was a good rest day and a good creative outlet#makes me remember what I love most in life is being creative and creating and art#my perfectionist ass has never let me really indulge in that though cause I’m scared of rejection#but when I do it for myself? can’t be wrong then!#hacked my brain lol
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Hiii! I hope you’re doing well. I loved your wolf hybrid Toji story and I have an idea for a part if you’re interested!
I’m thinking something like there’s a storm coming up so the reader tries to convince Toji to come inside their house for the night. Toji is stubborn at first but eventually agrees. When he’s in our house he’ll be able to wash himself and we give him new clothes and a bunch of cute things happen 🥹
If you do this ilysm but no pressure ofc. I can’t wait to see what you have in store for this story! 🩵
hi lovely !! first of all let me say i'm so glad you enjoyed wolfhybrid!toji thank you so much for reading it !!
and secondly.....are you in my house?????? because they way you got every single detail right im crying lmaoooo
part two is half written rn and i don't want to spoil everything just yet but yeah reader invites toji in bc he was waiting in the rain and helps him clean up basically !! i can't tell you how i gasped when i saw your ask i swear you're in my brain......
here's a lil snippet !!
anyways all i can say is great minds think alike hehe <333
#[𐐪— asks. 𐑂]#i think you secretly hacked into my brain#no bc HOW DID YOU GET IT EXACTLY RIGHT????#im laughing this is so cool#i appreciate all the love tho tysm babes !!#that's just a teeny snippet of the second part#but hopefully it's still interesting to read#plus there's more that happens after he comes in so i don't feel too bad about spoiling it lol#wolf hybrid toji#wolf toji
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hold my hand even if i cry
#mayor doidles#fanart#vocaloid#vocal synth#ghost#ghost and pals#kevin synthv#?????? whatever#digital art#painting#i need to do more digital paintings cuz i always like how the colors look on them but i hate doing it with really detailed character designs#but anyway yeah i love this song so much. it reminds me a lot of my oc xane and its pretty much his theme song in my brain#to the point where i hc his singing voice to be/sound like kevin… yeah#i finished this very fucking quickly?? like after i finished the last robin drawing#i went out to dinner w my pals and after we came back i spent like a few hours hacking away at this#and then it was done. crazy#*actually more like one hour according to the stats…. wow im getting faster#i always think painting is one of my more tedious and slow processes but its really not#especially with my refusal to render detailed characters. LOL#anyway maybe i could have put that in the post#but then i couldn’t have the aesthetic song lyric caption!! :(#art#artists on tumblr
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Books of 2024: July Wrap-Up.
This month, I picked my knitting back up with a vengeance, started a Three Sentences Writing Challenge, AND participated in several work-adjacent Social Events (who am I, even), On Top Of accidentally nerfing myself with several brick-like books, so! This little stack isn't half bad. Photos and/or reviews linked below:
ORDINARY MONSTERS - ★★ This was a miss for me, y'all, AND it was a brick, so it took a hot minute to read. I wanted it to be better than it was, but it rambled and wandered Too Much (which, coming from me, you KNOW is bad). Salty also-rambly 1.5k review linked.
IF FOUND, RETURN TO HELL - ★★★½ Way cuter than I was expecting!! I had a good time with the second person. Hugely relatable (which. wild. all things considered.).
THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE - ★★★½ Funnier than anticipated, and very readable for something out of the '50s! I see why it's a cornerstone of the (sub)genre. Glad I have a copy on hand now.
THE ACTOR AND THE TARGET - ★★★★★ This Rewired My Brain. It took me three (3) weeks to get through. It was so good. If you're a writer, definitely check this out, 10/10 recommend.
WHEN AMONG CROWS - ★★★½ I checked this out from the library because hardback novellas are Expensive if you're not sure you vibe with the author's style, but I had a good time! Witcher fans should descend on this, I think.
ALWAYS COMING HOME - 76*/618 pages read; will report back later. I asked the People about this one, and the People have Spoken (read: this won my What Do I Read Next Poll), but I may or may not have miscalcuated how many brain cells I have available lately between work and writing, so I may or may not be cutting this with library books. I'll finish it. Eventually. (*asterisk because she keeps referencing Other Pages In Line, and every time she does I jump ahead to read those pages instead and then come back to where I was. I'm dual wielding bookmarks through this tome, it's an Experience™ so far!)
Under the Cut: A Note About ~*★Stars★*~
Historically, I have been Very Bad™ about assigning things Star Ratings, because it's so Vibes Heavy for me and therefore Contingent Upon my Whims. I am refining this as I figure out my wrap up posts (epiphany of this month: I don't like that stars are Odd, because that makes three the midpoint and things are rarely so truly mid for me)(I have hacked my way around this with a ½). Here is, generally, how I conceptualize stars:
★ - This was Bad. I would actively recommend that you do NOT read this one, no redeeming qualities whatsoever, not worth the slog. Save Yourself, It's Too Late For Me. Book goes in the garbage (donate bin).
★★ - This was Not Good. I would not recommend it, but it wasn't a total waste or wash--something in here held my interest/kept my attention/sparked some joy. I will not be rereading this ever. Save Yourself (Or Join Me In Suffering, That Seems Like A Cool Bonding Activity).
★★★ - This was Good/Fine/Okay/Meh. I don't care about this enough to recommend it one way or another. Perfectly serviceable book, held my interest, I probably enjoyed myself (or at least didn't actively loathe the reading). I don't have especially strong feelings. You probably don't need to save yourself from this one--if it sounds like your jam, give it a shot! Just didn't resonate with me particularly powerfully. I probably won't reread this unless I'm after something in particular.
★★★½ - I liked this! I'll probably recommend it if I know it matches someone's vibes or specific requests, but I didn't commit to a star rating on Goodreads. More likely to reread, but not guaranteed.
★★★★ - I really enjoyed this!! I would recommend it (sometimes with caveats about content warnings or such--I tend to like weird fucked up funny shit, and I don't have many hard readerly NO's). Not a perfect book for me by any means, but Very Good. This is something I would reread! Join me!!
★★★★★ - I LOVED THE SHIT OUT OF THIS, IT REWIRED MY BRAIN, WILL RECOMMEND TO ANYONE AND EVERYONE AT THE SLIGHTEST PROVOCATION (content warning caveats still apply--see 4-star disclaimer). Excellent book, I'll reread it regularly, I'll buy copies for all my friends, I'll try to convince all of Booklr to read it, PLEASE join me!!
#books of 2024#books of 2024: july wrap-up#ordinary monsters#jm miro#if found return to hell#em x liu#the haunting of hill house#shirley jackson#the actor and the target#declan donnellan#when among crows#veronica roth#always coming home#ursula k. le guin#ezloved do you see how i've hacked my stars :)#take THAT threes!!#also the Brick Books Here were: 1. monsters 2. actor/target and 3. le guin#AND TWO OF THOSE REQUIRE SO MANY BRAIN CELLS HOLY SHIT#i don't even know how to read the le guin so i'm checking out her referenced page numbers as she references them#it's slow it's chewing i think that's the Point#i probably need a separate bed time read but i haven't been doing much reading not during bedtime so....#i know i posted a picture of GHOST STATION a few days ago but i haven't started it yet (oops)#(i accidentally made myself a hell of a week i'm so tired lol)
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There really something just Different with Trigun. Normally even if I keep in a fandom for the fanworks, my conversations around a series die out as I've gone through everything.
And they've grown less frequent, but I'm still able to have new conversations with my irl friends into Trigun every couple days. One friend actively reading it for the first time will say a thing and oh!! We (the group chat) never discussed that, but we do have thoughts! Someone will ask a question about Stampede and everyone not into Trigun will have to mute for the next 15 mins.
It helps, I'm sure, that there's 3 diferent canons to compare and contrast on every point. But it's just been so nice having a fandom with so much to it that you don't have to grasp at straws or focus just on fanworks (which I love too!) to keep talking about it. <3
#trigun#fandom#personal thoughts#I'm not super active in posting on this blog but I assure you all I am still deep into Trigun hell#months ans months after Stampede had me in a chokehold#i really do wonder what lil ~10 yr old me would think about adult me be so into that anime we got at a pawn shop one day LOL#i liked it as a kid but like. a normal amount#i wonder if trimax would have hacked my brain so hard back then if I'd tried it. I'd probably have just been confused reading it tho lol
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(A typical morning at the Seville residence.)
SIMON: Why are you leaving the dishwasher hanging open?
ALVIN: So I remember to unload and reload it after I finish the laundry.
SIMON: Seems…unnecessary.
ALVIN: I know how my brain works. I can utilize its strengths and weaknesses to my advantage. Don’t mess with my system!
SIMON: Okay….Okay.
THEODORE: When did we get a dishwasher? I always do the dishes by hand like a chump!
SIMON: (sighs) Last year, Theo. We got it last year.
THEODORE: Whooooah.
DAVE: Alvin, if you aren’t using it, close the dishwasher up, PLEASE.
ALVIN: I can’t! It’s my system!
#alvin and the chipmunks#alvin seville#simon seville#theodore seville#dave seville#family#chores#dishwasher#oject permanence#out of sight out of mind#adhd#adhd problems#how to hack your adhd brain#Alvin’s doing his chores LEAVE HIM ALONE#alvinnn!!! and the chipmunks#My headcanons#also Theo is once again operating in his own realm lol#simon is so tired
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i simply think that they.
#ART HACK: avoid having to draw metal arm by positioning another character in front of it lol#i haven't known peace since my brain screamed EARRING SWAP#i would have had it done sooner if it weren't for all the problems i had w my tablet#ANYWAY#vashmeryl#vash the stampede#meryl stryfe#trigun#trigun stampede#sorry about vash's eyebrows overtop his bangs i spent my teener years drawing inuyasha#i only noticed just now and im not going to fix it<3#my art
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what’s an app/method you guys use to track which shows/movies you’re watching or want to watch that actually works
#tried motion and that worked for a bit but it’s years out of date at this point#*notion not motion. sorry i’m not retyping that tag lol#how do i hack my adhd brain to actually engage with my hobbies that i enjoy
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I'm not gonna lie, at this point the main reason I keep playing Control is because I want to find Dr Darling (and find more of those in-game videos of him in the meantime) 🖤
#i'm so serious. that is my main motivation to keep playing#idk why i'm so fixated on him but Whatever Gets the Job Done!!!!!#(i do like the game and even the gameplay very much; i just have a hard time sticking with playing things that aren't my Ol Reliables yknow#(gotta hack the demand-avoidance brain by fixating on a quirky and very cute guy 🖤)#lol i went into the tags of that gifset and i see i'm not the only one who has been driven to lust-blind madness. ok good
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Okay, anon with the ask about incest/darkfic and other person who asked about possible impact of fandom perception of incest beyond just triggering survivors, I'm working on both those responses right now and hope to get at least one of them up today....most likely the response to the ask. The other one's taking forever because I'm also using it to compile a masterlist of every other post I've ever written on this topic, basically, and spoiler alert, that's apparently tens of thousands of words over the years, with barely a hundred notes between all of them combined, lmfao.
Let no one ever accuse me of 'milking this topic' for internet clout, because if so, I apparently am terrible at it.
Anyway, its also been taking so long because its been crazy at home all month with the trying to move out of here finally in the midst of them starting construction on this building and also having no idea what the fuck they're doing with their plans to relocate us despite all of this having been in the works all year long and was already supposed to have happened at least five different times by now but that is completely unrelated and not at all a subject I'm sore about.
#just added that last bit on to repurpose my aggro energy from that to fuel my 'ugh once more into the trenches' posting mission for the day#lol#nobody's doing brain hacks like me#or if they are and are actually better at it dont tell me. I dont need the competition
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is joshua weissman the cocomelon of cooking youtubers or something
#youtube started recommending me his videos and there's such a overwhelming amount of jump cuts and random effects/text flashing on screen#yet all of his videos have millions of views#i can only guess that he's hacking people's monkey brains the same way cocomelon does with toddlers lol#anyway if you want a good cooking channel check out my mancrush internet shaquille#formerly of ''you have the right to remain SEXY'' vine fame#crumb post
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yeah femc has some really solid romance routes but i just cannot be assed to care too much because there are some crazy level yuri goings on in this game
#bobtalk#yeah i’ll max shinji and ryoji of course. ryoji especially he’s my bestfriend. akihiko…sorry lmao.#maxed saori and put my head in my hands. PEAK. i wonder what she’ll say in march. letter like temperance?#i feel like she’d really benefit from watching r/gu. by the way. she started talking about princes and princesses#p3pposting#anyway every girl you spoke more than 2 sentences to in male route was inexplicably madly in love with you. but femc has Charisma.#(still very funny how people line up outside your classroom to speak to you btw. lmao)#i want to do more junpei link cuz it’s been Very good but he’s occupied by the plot rn. sad! started shinji though (september)#anyway. every time i play portable i’m reminded how much girls rule. i love you girls. i finally got megido on my mothman.#i’m also reminded how sad i am about reload. WE DONT GET VOICED OR MODELLED SAORI……..THEY HATE WOMEN!!!#by the way yukari peak as fuck. shes so good. i’m trying 2 like mitsuru more because the student council type personality#never really appeals to me that much. <- im also trying to hack my brain to like makoto more. for feminism. i’m sorry women i’m working oni#she’s really pretty in arena btw. <3<3<3#i also don’t especially care for akihiko i KNOW i’m SORRY. he’s fine. i like his dynamic with shinji and ken. sorry. lol#but yeah. i need aigis SL NOW!!!!#(theodore sucks btw. maybe that’s just because i don’t like men but i miss liz so bad. sigh.)#when my laptop works again maybe i’ll post some screenshots. <- playing on vita btw#good game.#(oh yeah i’ve maxed all social stats except i’m two from max on knowledge. whoops! at least it’s enough for Dying Young Man.)
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threw together some 3d-render-screenshot-mockups literally just to prove to myself that Progress Has Been Made.
#baaaaasically this has involved building almost an entire ecommerce framework from scratch#despite the fact that it is not an ecommerce plugin lol.#the main thing it's For is like...trade technician license renewal? which requires buying + taking certain “refresher” workshops every 2yrs#since i took over the site i've tried like 3 separate hack solutions that augment + build off of woocommerce et al#& same went for their member company login dashboard stuff - memberpress plugin + 35 stupid workarounds#& afaik there's just straight up no commercially viable plugin that handles event registration in a “build your ticket package” format..?#which is how these people do ALL their conferences + fundraisers + etc#so at some point last year i just think fuck it they should have their own plugin that does member accounts + events + licensing classes#& because i am a known brain genius with a reasonable estimation of my own abilities + excellent workload moderation skills#--& who is definitely NOT susceptible to having all social impulse control overridden every time i Think of a Cool Thing--#ofc i show up at the next client meeting like HEY GUYS WHAT IF#🙃🙃🙃 wheee
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me everytime I am preparing a meal with multiple elements I have to balance so they all finish cooking at the same time: Wow this is just like the 2009 hit Nintendo Wii game 'Food Network: Cook Or Be Cooked'
#or like if I'm making two things and one finishes cooking before the other and has to sit there and get cold#in my brain it's always like 'tsk tsk.. they would deduct points from my score for that' hjhjb#one of those instances of game mechanics imprinting onto your brain. kind of like imagining sims interaction moodlets in irl conversations#i LOVE the game though it's so fun. I've never even heard of it before I just found it by the dumpster in a box of other old wii#games someone was apparently discarding and picked it up due to my interest in cooking shows and stuff#I like having to time things and all the little actions you can do. though sad that there's so little recipes#you can unlock the whole game in like a day or something. I think if I had more time and social energy to actually talk in forums or be par#of a 'community' - I think looking into the type of stuff where people mod wii games and etc. would be very very cool#Wii is my favorite console and so much of the time I am always like 'grrr.. they dont make new games.. and this one game is very cool#but imagine if these 5 improvments were made to it! it would be SO much cooler!' etc.#Like being able to download new custom recipes/levels for Cook or Be Cooked lol#Modding wii sports resort the same way that some people mod skyrim and build entirely new games out of it#with new quests and etc. Like just.. create your own sports.. RPG mode.. use the already existing archery assets and etc. to have a mode#where you can just free roam around the map shooting at enemies and stuff ghhjbjh#WHICH I WOULD LOVE DEARLY..#I dont realyl like combat in games but idk I'd make an exception.. whatever.. I just want to play more in the Wii World#I have the soul of one of those people who builds all their own computers and 3D prints custom frames to transplant their 3DS into and#has like all special 'hacked' phones and wii mods and customizes everything and etc. etc. like.. 100% my exact personality and preferences#HOWEVER I just simply do not have the money or physical energy/time to get onto projects like that#The best I can hope for is one day having a close friend who does that so I can maybe use their 3D printer every once in a while or we both#collaborate on some wii modding project or etc. but I just couldn't on my own.. I already have too much stuff going on.. Have to make#compromises due to lack of money + low energy + busy. Like I could never build my own phone. I could save up for a teracube phone#or something so it's better and more repairable than all these dumbass modern phones you cant even take the backs off of. but that's probab#y the best I could do lol. ANYWAY.. Especially wii customization. I could get really into that.. I saw a picture one time of someone who#made like a semi transparent case for theirs kind of like the famous purplish see through gameboy color case but for a wii.. which is.. aAA#yearning crying sobbing etc. etc. so on and so forth
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Yard work’ll do that to ya
#not the first time it’s happened i’ve had worse!#the injury is from yesterday and it is fine#i’ve been meaning to redo my black nails but i’ll skip/go around the left thumb here lol#anyway i helped fell a couple problem trees and i only had to stop bc of asthma not cuz of low energy! i’m functioning thank goodness:)))#stopped breathing well and had to go away to hack up a lung but until then it was all good <3#*has dust allergies and the chainsaw fumes were pretty intense* *at least i didn’t feel Weak for needing a break* *self esteem restored!*#OH BTW I was only using a bowsaw! i’m not allowed to use a chainsaw bc of absence brain thing. wouldn’t wanna get one of those while using-#-power tools 0_0 they r so r@d tho.
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this week has been a weird shithell but wow if I didn’t just crack a song that I made a year ago or more in a deep depression hole that will makes no sense to anyone but me but damn is it compelling last night.
#I was itching to put something out soon and the thing I thought it would be in nov isn’t it rn#a the thing I scrapped from the album & I ultimately decided I prob wouldn’t put out#ever(?) because ehh but who knows is now it.#the most punk shit I’ve made yet#but and spoiler it has no drums (or bass) (or synth for that matter & those are like my things lol)#but yeah I didn’t do much(?) to it I didn’t add any vocals and the ‘melody’ lmao ok lol recording I didn’t touch#just hacked at it all and now it’s about ready. gonna tweak a lil for my brain tn & throw it up hopefully next week? Idk#anyway this is also bc I need time to work on my EP & I HAVE NONE. I just need a couple days to get it all on the level as a whole BUT NOO#(on the level enough we are not shooting for fancy well done mastering here lol)#anyway in the next few months it’ll be out that’s all I’ve got rn#boo capitalism
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