#gwen eye twitching: oh your best friend yeah ok. cool. cool cool cool cool--

[bruciemilf]

You have officially converted me to miguel/batman

It's a out the bonding over loss, it's about understanding the impossibly complicated, poisonous love between you, your child, and a world that took them from you, it's about understanding the fury and rage and Injustice and deciding you'll have hope, and you'll often fail, and often regret it, and do it anyway. it's about redemption, it's about self loathing, it's about feeling like you'll never ever be good enough for anyone. And it's about letting someone prove you that's wrong.

[merlinficreview]

The Student Prince Chapters 16-20 Review!

The Student Prince by FayJay

Word Count: 145222

Chapter 16

This chapter opens with Merlin waking up with a massive hangover. Arthur helps orient us, and Merlin, since he’s currently not sure of anything. “It's Raisin Monday. We've got to go to Morgana's place.” Thanks, Exposition Arthur!

Arthur then quickly returns to asshole mode and pulls the covers off of Merlin. “Arthur didn't say anything for a long moment, and Merlin cracked his eyes open just a little. Arthur was staring at his throat, and he'd gone rather white. Merlin lifted his fingers stiffly and rubbed the spot Arthur was looking at, which felt sore, and Arthur flinched, and looked quickly up at Merlin's face, and then away.” Ahh yes, a hickey. How embarrassing. Though if some dude is biting and sucking your neck so hard that it hurts the next day, that’s way too excessive. Arthur can fuck off with his jealousy though.

Merlin suddenly remembers the previous night and things get awkward. Arthur walks away to take a shower.

You know, I’m sitting here thinking about this whole Raisin Weekend thing, and I’m not sure why they would make the final thing on a Monday when people have classes. Wouldn’t it make sense to have the tea party and get together with Academic Dads on Saturday and then this shaving cream fight thingy on Sunday? Monday isn’t even part of the weekend. So it’s not really a weekend thing because they didn’t even do anything on Saturday.

As they walk to Morgana’s, Merlin brings up Arthur making out with Gwen, “’Look, it was just a snog,’ said Arthur, defensively. ‘We were a bit pissed. Don't start matchmaking.’ And then he reddened, and looked away, and a heartbeat later Merlin remembered the Matchmaker game and Arthur's tongue sliding over the seam of his lips, licking away the powdered sugar from the doughnut that he'd chased there.” Once again, Arthur can fuck off with his nonsense.

Once they get to Morgana’s, they find Gwen, who is dressed as a knight. “They trooped dutifully after her, passing Kay standing in the kitchen in nothing but a pair of skin-tight white leggings, grumbling under his breath as Helen busily painted him Smurf-blue. Gawain, in matching red leggings complete with white beard, red smurf hat and blue skin, was munching on a bacon roll and reading The Times a few yards away.” I’m honestly just including this because I don’t know what a bacon roll is, but I now really want a bacon and cheese sandwich. Also, good, Kay deserves to freeze his ass off in just a pair of tights.

Anyways, Arthur will be dressed as Merlin and Merlin will be dressed as Queen Guinevere. I tried not to say, “yikes at putting the gay man in a dress and making him the woman,” because I thought I might be overreacting but, “’Come on, Merlin – what are you waiting for? I thought you liked being a queen,’ said Arthur, maliciously. Merlin glared at him.” Soooo yeah. Merlin LIKES this dude? Really? I do have to say, I feel like Morgana switching the outfits around is seriously only an excuse to put Merlin, the gay dude, in a dress. It’s gross.

Then Merlin starts to get undressed to put on his outfit and Morgana notices his hickey, “’Oh – er, well, yeah,’ Merlin said, meeting Morgana's amused gaze with a rueful one. ‘Um. Edwin, if you must know. He's a PostGrad? He, er, plays World of Warcraft.’ ‘Oh! Edwin!’ Her grin broadened. ‘Yes, he's rather good at World of Warcraft.’ Her mouth twitched. ‘As a matter of fact, I heard he was pretty good at macramé too.’” Haha Good one, Morgana.

Exit Gwen and Morgana while the boys start getting undressed, “’So – that was Edwin, last night,’ said Arthur, a few minutes later. ‘Your friend. From GaySoc.’” Is now really the time to talk about this, Arthur? How awkward discussing the guy you’re fucking with the dude you wish you were fucking who sent you out MAJOR signals right before making out with your best friend, who then caught you almost fucking said guy, before running away in a fit of jealousy, all the while this discussion is taking place, the two of you are getting naked.

Merlin agrees with me, “Merlin didn't particularly appreciate being questioned about his love life by Hottie McHotterson when he was in the act of dropping trou, but apparently the universe was not being run with his happiness in mind.”

Merlin of course can’t get his wig on and gives up after one try. Then Arthur of course has to help him. Which of course ends up with Arthur all up in Merlin’s space, which his hands all over Merlin’s neck. Of course. Sure. Makes total sense.

Arthur continues to interrogate Merlin about Edwin, asking if Edwin is Merlin’s boyfriend. Merlin says that they are just fuckbuddies. Which shocks and embarrasses Arthur. That’s what you get for being an asshole.

Then Arthur keeps on going but, he makes a good point, “’Oh,’ he said, in a strangled voice, fiddling with his beard. ‘Well, that's – cool. I suppose.’ He frowned. ‘He looked quite old,’ he said. Merlin shrugged. ‘He's thirty. Which means he's pretty sorted, and very experienced. Also, he does a lot of yoga. Tantric yoga. There is no bad to this.’ He watched Arthur's face colouring up. ‘Is that enough? Or do we need to go into exhaustive detail here?’” Now, Merlin is in the right with his, “is that enough?” comment because Arthur is being a nosey little jerk. However, I think it’s hella sketch that a “sorted” and “experienced” THIRTY YEAR OLD MAN is fucking around with an 18 year old. That shit is suspicious and super gross. We knew that Edwin was in graduate school so I expected him to be around 23-25, which is still a little weird when hooking up with an 18 year old but fucking yikes at him being 30. What the fuck are you doing, Edwin? Merlin is basically a child. Yikes to the max.

So Morgana comes in and says it’s time for Merlin’s makeover. I don’t get why only Merlin is the one wearing makeup here. She could totally paint some stars and moons all over Arthur’s face or something too. Oh wait, yes I do know why Merlin is getting makeup, because he’s the GIRL. Silly me.

Chapter 17

“’I dunno – I think he actually makes quite a shaggable bird,’ said Owain, looking Merlin up and down in some surprise. ‘Nice tits.’ ‘They're built into the dress,’ said Merlin, irritably. ‘I didn't grow them specially, you know.’” This made me laugh. Good job, Merlin.

So then Blanche and Morgana start talking about Merlin’s padding and feeling him up. Let’s talk about that for a minute, shall we? It’s gross. Don’t fucking do that. Merlin is clearly uncomfortable while Blanche and Morgana are touching the padding in his dress and they are just ignoring him and going about their business. I don’t care that it’s just padding that they are touching and not actually a part of Merlin. They are currently on his body. You would NEVER do that to a woman, whether she was wearing padding or not, unless she gave you permission. Because boys and girls, touching someone in a way they don’t want to be touched is sexual assault. This is portrayed as a funny scene though, with Kay even taking a photo. We are supposed to just laugh at Morgana and Blanche feeling up Merlin’s breast padding though because he’s a man, so it’s fine. Yeah, it’s not fucking fine. Don’t touch people without their permission. Period.

Now let’s talk about this: “’Hello? Standing right here, thank you very much!’ snapped Merlin, as Kay took a photograph. ‘Oh, Christ. Tell me that isn't going on Facebook,’ said Merlin, without much hope. ‘Of course it's going on Facebook, Emrys,’ said Kay, pityingly. ‘Wonderful.’ ‘Oh, shut up. You actually look almost fuckable, for the first time in your pathetic life.’ Merlin felt his jaw drop, and was conscious that several other heads had turned to stare at both of them. But mostly at Kay.” Ok. So not only is this sexual assault occurring with SEVERAL people watching and finding it hilarious, Kay is taking a photo of it with the purpose of it going on the internet. This is not cute. It’s not funny. It’s not a lighthearted “LOL Merlin, the gay man, is dressed as a WOMAN!!! Let’s fondle his padded bra while he is clearly upset about it and just continue doing whatever we want because it’s funny!!” moment. Stop. Just stop. Now, let’s talk about Kay’s comment about Merlin being fuckable. I am honestly unclear on what the author was trying to achieve with that. Considering how homophobic Kay is towards gay men, Merlin in particular, I find it incredibly out of character and unbelievable that Kay would say that. Is this supposed to be the beginnings of a redemption arc for him because it’s the worst redemption arc ever in the history of redemption arcs.

Anyways, someone, it’s not assigned as being said by a particular person, gives us the skinny as to what’s going to happen, “So – it's off to visit your Academic Fathers to collect your Raisin Receipts, and then on to Foamageddon in Sallies Quad. But before we do that – group photo!”

They make it to Lance’s and Gwen gives us some surprising information, “’Er – thanks for, you know. Seeing me home last night,’ said Gwen, looking distinctly flustered.” She says this to Lance by the way. So not only did Arthur use her to make Merlin jealous/reject him/what the fuckever his dumbass nonsesnsical reasoning was, he left poor drunk Gwen alone and didn’t even help her home. PRINCE FUCKING CHARMING, YA’LL.

The “receipts” that Lance provides them with are all on recycling bins and they all have some sort of Latin phrase on them. Google is about to edumacate me on what these receipts are supposed to be because we have no Exposition Character to fill us in.

So this is the website I found and it might have been the site I used earlier when I looked up Academic Moms and Dads my bad for not including it in that post:

https://owlcation.com/academia/St-Andrews-University-traditions

So according to this, traditionally, seniors could ask freshmen for a pound of raisins on Raisin Monday. Once the freshmen gave out their Raisins, they would get their “receipt” from the seniors and could no longer be asked for raisins anymore. It’s not really stated on that site, but it seems that the tradition has just transformed so now the Academic Dad’s give them embarrassing receipts to carry around and there’s not an exchange of raisins at all anymore. Sure.

We get some more information that isn’t really mentioned on the website, “’I'm afraid that if anyone feels like being a git, they can still demand you show them the receipt and then dunk you in the fountain for the mistake,’ Lance apologised.” So I guess if your receipt has incorrect Latin or incorrect information, the seniors can throw the freshmen in a fountain. Which seems mean since the freshmen aren’t the ones who write the receipts so it wouldn’t be their faults. Also, I’m pretty sure it’s November. Cold.

As they walk around, Merlin bitches about how stupid Raisin Monday is and how just because something is a tradition, it doesn’t mean it should be followed. Which I 100% agree with. Some traditions are rooted in some pretty gross and unacceptable practices. On the less depressing side, a lot of traditions aren’t even followed correctly. They are like bastardized versions of the tradition itself. I had this conversation when one of my friends got married. She insisted on wearing a white dress because it was “tradition.” I had to tell her, “you know white isn’t even technically that old of a tradition when it comes to wedding dresses. You know what else is ‘tradition’ and the entire reason of wearing white on the wedding day? Virginity. Just saying.”

Well that went way off the point I was trying to make. So, even though I agree with Merlin, he needs to take a look at his current audience, which includes the Prince of Wales, who is part of a traditional and (and pretty useless in these modern times, if we are being honest) monarchy.

Merlin soon spots an Academic Family composed of Arthurs. Which I think is pretty funny and so does Merlin. Arthur is less than impressed. “’What do you mean, it's me?’ demanded Arthur, crossly. ‘It looks nothing like me!’ ‘He's wearing a blond wig, and aviator shades, and a jacket just like the one you were wearing yesterday, and a crown with a load of Latin on it for a Raisin Receipt and – oh, God, no, look! Look what they've done! It's not just him! The whole family are all you! Only different varieties, see? Look, he's Football-playing-Arthur, and he's Jogging-on-the-beach-Arthur, and she's Pilot-Arthur, and that poor bastard over there must be Water-polo-Arthur. And that one in the suit of armour is – er – do you ever wear armour?’ ‘That's King Arthur. Like me,’ said Gwen. ‘The other one.’” I think that’s pretty cute.

“Right! Ha! That is genius! Oh my God – you should go over there and out yourself! Say 'I'm Arthur' and we could have a whole "No, I'm Arthur! No, I am, no I am, no, I am' thing! Like Spartacus!" I agree with Merlin. That would be hilarious and all in good fun. Arthur has to be a stupid party pooper about it though, of course.

They arrive at the Quad where the big shaving cream fight is going to take place. Merlin says he is going to get Arthur covered in shaving cream for “vengeance.” Arthur asks what the vengeance is related to, “’Vengeance for – for the flooding of the Tryweryn Valley to make a bloody reservoir for you English!’ said Merlin, because he couldn't exactly say ‘Vengeance for flirting with me and then getting off with one of my best mates, you git’.” Too bad Merlin didn’t have the guts to actually say that second one because he would be 100% in the right there.

The clock strikes and Merlin runs away. Arthur chases him, obviously, and Merlin turns around to stand his ground, “Arthur took this in, and didn't slow down a jot. Merlin hadn't quite realised his intention until the idiot barreled right into him and the two of them went sprawling in a tangle of flailing, overdressed limbs. And then in an embarrassingly short time Merlin found himself pinned to the grass with Arthur straddling his waist, both wrists clasped in one slippery grip above his head, and Arthur grinning down at him. The beard dangled in Merlin's face and he twisted away and blew ineffectually at it.” NORMAL PLATONIC BRO STUFF. MOVE ALONG. Arthur sprays Merlin’s entire face and chest with the shaving cream. Then Arthur takes off Merlin’s wig and starts massaging the shaving cream into Merlin’s hair. As bro friends do.

“’Oi, Arthur, stop trying to fuck the chav,’ yelled Kay, and Merlin watched all the laughter and gentleness fall right off Arthur's face to be replaced by a shocked, half-frightened expression. He let go of Merlin's wrists and pushed himself away as if Merlin had suddenly become contagious, and Merlin felt all the sunlight vanish from the day with that jerky, horrified rejection.”

Fuck you, Kay. But double fuck you to Arthur. Poor Merlin. He deserves so much better. Arthur runs away and Merlin has to spend the rest of the fight pretending to be ok. Poor dude.

Chapter 18

“It struck Merlin as massively unfair that people were still expected to attend their lectures and tutorials that afternoon, once they'd all stumbled and squelched back to their respective Halls of Residence and had showers.” That’s what I said earlier! So Merlin is feeling very sad because Arthur is pretty much ignoring Merlin after the shaving cream incident. I don’t blame Merlin. Merlin needs to find someone else, and by that, I don’t mean Almost Twice his Age Edwin.

“Merlin registered, almost absently, that Gawain really was, objectively speaking, a very attractive bloke indeed. He'd known this, obviously, but hadn't given it much thought one way or the other; his current state of undress, however, even with all the paint and foam and ridiculous beard, revealed a six pack of truly exceptional dimensions; he was beginning to get an inkling of why Morgause had developed a bit of a soft spot for Gawain.” Merlin can run off with Gawain. Problem solved. I feel like in about 90% of the fics I read, I want Merlin to leave Arthur, who is usually a great big asshole to Merlin, and run off with Gawain. Also, just want to point out that Gawain is described as being “half a foot taller than Arthur”. Which kills me because Eoin Macken is like the shortest of the Knights.

Again, this was written before Gwaine’s character was introduced on the show but still.

Merlin asks Gawain (which is really hard to type by the way since I’m so used to Gwaine, so sorry if there’s any typos) how his time with his Academic Dad went the previous night, “’There were more drinking games,’ Gawain said, in a tone that spoke volumes. Merlin winced. ‘And then Kay got into a fight with one of Tristan's flatmates, and fell down the stairs.’” Good.

Gawain looks at Merlin’s hickey and gives him kind of subtle warning to be careful with his feelings; I think he thinks Arthur gave Merlin the hickey. When Merlin gets back to his room, Arthur is there and he basically just ignores Merlin. Asshole.

Later, Merlin is hanging out with Gwen asking her about Arthur. Gwen tells Merlin she made out with Arthur because he was there, “’I know," she said. ‘But – but Lance never flirts with me. I don't think he even realises I'm a girl. And Arthur was there, being all hot and flirty, and, you know Prince Arthur, for Christ's sake. Who wouldn't flirt right back for all she was worth?’ She bit her lip. ‘Is this weird? Are you pissed off with me? I mean – I know you think he's hot, but you're not...’ She gave an embarrassed half-laugh. ‘You're not in love with him, or anything, right? And, you know, he's straight, so...’” so this kind of solidifies my annoyance with Gwen. She clearly knows Merlin has a thing for Arthur and just kind of brushes it off with, “well he’s straight so it’s not like it’ll ever happen for you…” Not cool Gwen. Don’t be such a shitty friend.

I don’t know why Merlin doesn’t straight up say to both Lance and Gwen, “I know for a fact that they are into you because they have explicitly told me.” I would be so over their annoying, “but they don’t like me!!!!” at this point I would probably stop being friends with both of them.

Gwen tells Merlin that the makeout session with Arthur sucked. “’Well – sorry, no, that sounds a bit awful, doesn't it? I'm not saying that he's a bad snog, just that – er, do you want the sordid details?’ ‘Apparently I have a previously unsuspected streak of masochism a mile wide, so – yeah. Hit me,’ said Merlin.” I mean, that is Merlin almost literally admitting he has a thing for Arthur. Gwen said the kissing was bad because there was no spark.

Merlin asks Gwen if she and Arthur slept together and she says they didn’t. Then she asks if the guy Merlin left with was Edwin. “Gwen stole another chip. ‘He's hot,’ she said. ‘Tantric yoga, you said?’” He’s also 30, sis.

I don’t know why Freddie Prinze Jr. is at the end of the gif but it still makes my point.

Gwen leaves to do her nightline thing with Lance. Merlin texts her and is all, “trust me. He’s into you! Ask him out!” and Gwen ignores him. Well, he tried.

Merlin is asleep later that night when Arthur stumbles in, drunk, with Kay and Leon. “’Didn't ask your opinion, Emrys,’ said Kay, without looking at him. ‘Arthur, you can come back to ours, you know, mate. Could bunk with me, if you don't want to stay in here. Not good being drunk around the chav.’” Yup. Because since Merlin is gay, he is a rapist! Better lock up all the menfolk! God I fucking hate Kay so much. And I hate that no one ever puts him in his place and the fact that Arthur and Co continue to hang out with him makes me super suspicious that they secretly agree with Kay’s homophobic views and they feel the same way about Merlin. They can all die in a fire with Merlin cackling gleefully over their burning corpses for all I care.

Kay leaves, praise Jesus, and Merlin starts lecturing Arthur about getting drunk on a Monday night. “’What on earth were you thinking?’ he added, as he fiddled with the tap. ‘It's really not like you to get pissed on a Monday night. You should have been out flying at Leuchars, for God's sakes, not getting hammered! Didn't your liver get enough punishment last night, you lunatic? I mean, God, I don't think I'll be touching alcohol for at least a month, after yesterday – and you're already off on a bender! You're mental, Arthur Pendragon. Must be all that inbreeding.’”

That’s all.

Arthur asks Merlin if he was off sleeping with Edwin that night and Merlin continues on this amazing Brutal Honesty Hour roll: “’Sorry?’ ‘Edwin. I don't like him.’ ‘You've not even met him,’ said Merlin, feeling exasperated and knackered and faintly unhappy. ‘Don't need to.’ ‘What's that supposed to mean?’ Arthur said nothing. Merlin punched his pillow in frustration. ‘Well, luckily you're not my dad, or my boyfriend, or the boss of me, so it doesn't matter whether or not Edwin has your Royal Seal of Approval. Maybe I don't like the redhead you spent the night snogging. So what? Go to sleep, you ass.’” Arthur tells Merlin the night would have been better with Merlin there, “Then bloody well invite me along next time, you git! Honestly, you have no social skills whatsoever, do you? It's not my fault if Kay's crap company. Apparently Kay was who you wanted to hang out with, so you can just suck it up if he's who you ended up stuck with.” Damn fucking straight. YES, MERLIN!!!!

The next day, Merlin has a heartfelt discussion with Gawain that really does sort of tug on the old heartstrings. Merlin tells Gawain that he thinks Gawain was talking about Arthur with the whole, “be careful,” thing. “’Because I think you know something I don't.’ Merlin's eyes narrowed. ‘You've known him since you were little kids, haven't you? You know him better than just about anyone. Don't you want to hear my theory?’ ‘Not particularly.’ ‘I think he likes blokes. I think he likes me.’”  Gawain is all, “well duh he likes you! You’re his bestie!” “Oh come on, Gawain! Please, just throw me a sodding bone here! I don't want to hurt him, or mess things up for him – I'm just trying to make sense of all this, because it's killing me, and I think I've understood it now. He does like me back, doesn't he? It's not just me?” That’s pretty damn sad. Gawain pretty much admits it and tells Merlin tough luck because Arthur is going to be king someday so he doesn’t have a choice but to marry a woman and meet certain expectations. Then for some reason Merlin acts like this is brand new information. Merlin says he feels dumb for needing Gawain to explain that and I agree.

“Merlin blinked. ‘I'm sort of seeing someone anyway,’ he said, after a moment. ‘Sort of.’ ‘Well then.’ ‘He's a PostGrad. A medic. He's researching HIV virus particle production. And he's very bendy.’” HE IS ALSO THIRTY. I’m never going to stop bringing that up.

Pictured: Merlin caring for his ancient boyfriend.

Chapter 19

The boys are hanging out when they spot Lady Viva, who is probably a play on Lady Gaga. Kay makes some gross remarks, Merlin tells him so, and for once someone else, Gawain, agrees. Progress!

Later, Lady Viva shows up at Merlin’s dorm. Which is super weird to me because famous people don’t tend to randomly show up at universities to hang out and meet new people. Also, why is she easily able to find out where Arthur lives? What kind of crap security? Anyways, this makes Merlin uncomfortable and he asks if Arthur is expecting her. Which is the right fucking thing to say, “Lady Viva cocked her head to one side, making the feathers jiggle, and the look she gave Merlin made him feel about two inches tall. ‘I'm here to see Arthur,’ she said again, her voice rising dangerously. ‘Not his monkey.’” Damn, what a bitch. I would have closed the door in her face.

Arthur, for once, decides that Merlin doesn’t deserve to be treated like shit, and goes to the door, pretending he has no idea who Lady Viva is. Lady Viva continues to be rude and entitled. Arthur is having none of it and shuts the door in her face. Good job, Arthur.

Sometime later, Arthur comes home, clearly under a spell because he’s all the sudden got the hots for Lady Viva. Merlin knocks Arthur out and calls Morgana, who starts freaking out because they really need to narrow down what Lady Viva did to Arthur. Morgana wonders how Merlin let this happen, “Oh, I don't know – maybe that he already has a host of paid bodyguards, and the protection of the dragon, and somehow he's managed to reach the age of eighteen without me holding his hand 24/7?” You mean the MacUseless the Dragon because, you’re barking up the wrong tree if you expect him to do anything, Merlin.

Merlin calls Edwin and Gaius in for help and while Edwin and Merlin makeout, presumably over Arthur’s unconscious body, Gaius gets help to figure out how to break the spell. “’It would be, but for the fact that it doesn't actually address our main problem. Because this particular working can only be undone one way.’ There was an embarrassed pause. ‘True love's kiss.’” Get ready for a whole lot of awkward and yikes, headed our way, gang.

There’s some subtle slut shaming from Gaius, “Please tell me that despite reports to the contrary he has acquired a secret girlfriend over the past few months? Not just a casual fling, but something heartfelt and enduring? Something with the power to undo this spell? Tell me that there is some young lady somewhere up there who can help us fix this? Because however ineligible she might be, I very much doubt that it can hold a candle to posing for Playboy wearing nothing but a hat made of telephones and a tiny rectangle of crime scene tape stuck to her nether regions, which I understand is the image for which this Lady Viva is best known.”

Mmmm that gif of Colin.

Where were we? Oh yea.

Merlin hangs up with Gaius and fills Edwin in. Edwin picks up on Merlin’s crush in like two seconds.

Merlin runs over to Gwen’s and freaks out, causing her to freak, out and asks her to come with him. She does because she’s understandably worried about Merlin. They get back to the dorm and Gwen sees Arthur, “’Oh my God – did he take some kind of drugs? Because if you're scared, you need to forget about getting in trouble and we need to get him to a doctor now, and worry about trouble later,’ she said, looking suddenly frightened. ‘Is he – oh, God, is he dead?’” Now it might be because it’s 3 in the morning but, “is he- oh, God is he dead?” is making me laugh really hard.

Merlin asks Gwen to kiss Arthur, “’I thought it was Lance you were trying to fix me up with,’ she said, witheringly, planting her hands on her hips. ‘What on earth are you doing? This is creepy. You are both creeping me out, and I do not have to stand for this kind of nonsense.’” I don’t blame her. This situation is really fucking weird from her perspective. She kisses Arthur and then decides to leave because who wouldn’t after that? “’And you're a freak,’ she said, stiffly. ‘I'm going home.’ She marched over to the door and opened it, looking back over her shoulder at Merlin with an expression of baffled frustration. ‘I don't think I even want to know what the hell this was supposed to prove, other than that you are strange and tactless.’” Lol, good one, Gwen.

After Gwen leaves, Merlin realizes that the kiss didn’t work. Oh no! Edwin tells Merlin to kiss Arthur. Merlin does and it’s all very hot and heavy when Arthur starts kissing him back. “’Oh, God, I do love you,’ he said, helplessly, looking at Arthur's tousled hair and his flushed cheeks. ‘I really really do.’” Poor Merlin; this is all going to come crashing down on him soon, but hey, he’s Arthur’s true love. So, there’s that.

The kiss obviously works and then Merlin does about the saddest and meanest thing ever, “’That's good,’ Merlin said, feeling his throat closing up. ‘Just checking.’ And then his eyes went suddenly molten, and he whispered a word against Arthur's skin, and Arthur's face went slack with sleep, and he slumped bonelessly into Merlin's arms. Merlin let himself have a moment just to hold Arthur tightly, squeezing him as if just by doing that he could make everything else stop mattering, and make this much-vaunted 'true love' actually count for something in the real world. He whispered another word, and with that he sponged the memory of the past five minutes out of Arthur's mind.” Taking Arthur’s memory like that was a really bad idea, though I can understand why he did it.

True story: I typed “true love” in the Tumblr gif finder thingy and that above gif popped up. I was looking for the Rumple from OuaT gif of him saying “True love” but I’m going with this one instead.

Edwin is surprisingly nice about the whole thing. EVEN THOUGH HE IS THIRTY.

Chapter 20

This chapter opens with Merlin running into Gwen. Oh man, I hope he comes up with a good explanation. Gwen turns around and goes the other way. Merlin starts chasing her. Like she is literally running away from him and he is chasing her. She lets him catch up to her, “’I don't think I even want to know,’ she said, after a moment. ‘I just – I don't know what games they've got you playing, Merlin, but I thought you were better than that. I mean, nothing would surprise me from Kay, but you? I don't appreciate being used for a joke, or a bet, or whatever that was supposed to be.’ She looked away, her mouth tight. ‘You made me feel – cheap. And stupid. And left out. Don't do it again.’” Poor Gwen. I don’t blame her for feeling that way at all. Being compared to Kay though? Yikes, worst insult ever.

Merlin decides to go for the truth, “’Okay, well – you mustn't tell anyone this, okay? Because it's sort of, well, huge, and I realise it's going to sound a bit weird at first, but it's true. Um. I'm sort of, well, I'm a wizard, basically.’ He swallowed. ‘And what you did yesterday was helping me to break a spell that someone had cast on Arthur. It was really important.’” She doesn’t believe him and I probably wouldn’t either.

Merlin proves it to her by time travelling them to the 1500s which is pretty cool. Merlin then tells Gwen that Morgana is a wizard too, which is a terrible idea but he realizes that as soon as he says it and tells her not to ask him about anyone else. Gwen tells Merlin that his secret is safe with her and thanks him for trusting her, which is really sweet. Aw.  

Later, “’I can't believe you turned her down!’ said Kay, staring at Arthur like he had two heads. ‘I mean, for God's sake – are you a man or a mouse?’” Neither, Kay. Just gay. Kay continues on his gross misogynistic rants and I’m getting so tired of them. It’s gotten old. Like 19 chapters ago, so I’m just kind of skimming this section for my sanity.

We learn that Arthur was tricked into the spell by accepting candy from Lady Viva’s manager.

That’s it for this post. I’m still not clear as to why this whole thing is called Raisin Weekend when it takes place on half of Sunday and Monday morning. Dressing Merlin up as a woman still makes me roll my eyes. I’m never going to get over Edwin being thirty because that shit is so fucking gross; Merlin is 18. He’s practically a child and Edwin is a grown ass man.

I pretty much said all I needed to say about the scene with Morgana and Blanche feeling up Merlin but I think it bears repeating that that shit was not ok. It’s especially frustrating that the scene is portrayed as a comical scene even though Merlin is clearly upset. That’s one of my major issues with the characterization of Kay as well. He says all these gross things; I think that literally almost everything that has come out of his mouth has been disgusting and yet no one ever really says anything to him. Merlin stood up to him a couple of times in chapter 20 and I think Arthur told him to stop like once. It gives off the feeling that what Kay says is acceptable. It’s not. Nothing he says has been ok. You can have a douchebag character in your writing, I’m not necessarily criticizing the inclusion of Kay’s characterization; however, you can portray these things without making them viewed as acceptable or normal behavior. It’s frustrating to read him say these horrible things over and over and over and over and over and over without anything happening. That’s why I pretty much skimmed the majority of chapter 20. Something important to the plot might have happened that I totally missed but I don’t care. You can only beat us over the head with this horrible person and give us the exact same scene with them spouting nonsense so many times before the reader loses interest. Kay is a piece of shit. We get it.

I liked how Gawain was such a good friend to Merlin during this group of chapters. I hope their friendship continues to develop. I also felt bad for Gwen during the whole kissing fiasco and I’m glad Merlin came clean instead of just making up an obvious lie and losing Gwen as his friend forever. Also, how sad was it that Merlin got to finally be honest with Arthur about his feelings and Arthur was honest about his and Merlin made the decision to erase Arthur’s memory? I’m not condoning that decision, which ultimately backfires, because you should never erase someone’s memory without their permission. It’s gross.

Until next time: