#guys you can vote ANONYMOUSLY now omg

[stiltonbasket]

update scheduling, round 10!

now that I have polls, here's another round of "pick the WIP you want to see next." :D If you like, reblog so more people can vote!

[traumxrei-archive]

【 book 6 pt. 2 thoughts ! (2) 】

ok so picking up on the cliffhanger i left off last time...only to leave off on aNOTHER BIGASS CLIFFHANGER.... (once again wondering how i managed to write so much despite the fact that i only played through 4 chapters haha) (also vote on this poll if you haven't)

[ spoilers for 6-50 till 6-54 under the cut ! ]

✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧

ok it's the creepy guy that's talking for sure. yk how i know ? bc ortho says "if anything, we should be grateful to you" we. as in, multiple people. as in, the personal pronoun that the mysterious voice kept using in 6-49.

[ about : ....ortho ? ]

now tell me WHY ortho's talking creepily off the bat ???? did he actually get possessed by that mysterious voiced dude ??? the monotone in his voice has me crying. also not him lying and saying everyone JUST got finished testing when we know they've been finished for hours ??

also it makes me wonder if this phantom was the og ortho's phantom,,,,maybe og ortho also got lured by the titans and made a mistake and overblotted,,,,,and the fact that the creepy voice is in ortho's system, it makes me think that this person is a shroud (thus my is this og ortho theory)

I FUCKING KNEW IT I FUCKING CALLED IT !!!!! maybe ortho was consumed by phantom-him, and that's why they had to lock up his phantom in tartarus,,,,but what exactly led to that bc all shrouds have that curse that kills all blot they produce

[ about : pleased to make your aquaintence, ortho ]

[ about : grim's magic reserves ]

omg,,,idia says that grim's magic reserves are low, so the spell that's cast on him shouldn't matter. but i can't help but think that maybe his magic reserves are being limited by that spell in the first place, so maybe once that spell is lifted, grim would have all the full capabilities of a dire beast,,,,,thinking noises,,,,,,

[ about : request for examination ]

ok as idia says, the fact that STYX examining the NRC students was anonymous, and not even from Sage Island, but from Land of Dawning's government itself is ssssuper sus. like why would someone from another country's government know what's going on in NRC ??? and legit no one in NRC is from Land of Dawning so how did they know in the first place ??

[ about : 5 people overblotting is strange ]

FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT !! they keep on stressing abt how overblotting is a rare thing but at the same time, 5 people overblot in the span of 5-6 months and nOBODY HAS BAT AN EYE. until idia.

tbh i have two potential theories: either it's because of yuu's appearance (which. idk how that would work) OR grim's appearance. maybe he's the type of direbeast that feeds off blot or someone induces blot ?? bc there's no way all these incidents lined up so perfectly that none overlapped.

[ about : real reason behind overblots ]

ok idia just confirmed one of my theories about overblotting: i had said before that most overblots have different types of build ups.

the build up itself can consist of different things. maybe the overblotee is actually fine up until the moment that some disaster happens (e.g. azul with his contracts) or the overblotee has pent up resentment (e.g. jamil n kalim, leona and never being the best) but in the end the biggest trigger is a fundamental shift in their beliefs.

for riddle, it's his rules being treated as not absolute by the majority.

for leona, it was being caught red handed trying to take down malleus (because it was an admission that he was weaker and had to resort to dirty tricks to win over mal)

for azul, it was his contracts that he worked so hard to obtain to be respected being destroyed.

for jamil, it was his picture-perfect plan being derailed, and his family's status being threatened because of his own actions.

and lastly for vil, it was the fact that he was ashamed after trying to poison neige, because he was talking about how competitions should be fair and square until he tried to essentially cheat himself.

that's why it's kinda hard to believe that someone might be inducing overblots. bc that person (unless they're from the future) will NEVER know a person's heart fully. and they won't ever know what may cause a person to break down and succumb to an overblot.

[ about : muscle red ]

LILA VANROUGE ?? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ?!?! also like. the way "muscle red" is voiced is so funny sjfkdskf is that what general lilia might've sounded like *eyes emoji* deep voice lilia is so wwwhhheeewww that is a nice voice (and the way idia's freaking out over muscle red's words wwww he's so funny, guys idia gay rights (or like bi pan rights bc love is love))

[ about : idia's gaming proposal ]

guys you CANNOT convince me he didn't just basically platonic marriage proposal to muscle red in this sequence...

[ about : malleus and lilia ]

ough it's kinda T^T that malleus is visiting the broken down ramshackle, considering it's been a special place to him all this time. and malleus talking about how he loves abandoned buildings...

NOW WHY DID THIS LINE MAKE ME SAD SNIFF and him talking about how rn, ramshackle is abandoned once more, but...it doesn't feel soothing anymore. it feels disturbing that yuu and the others aren't there.

meanwhile, lilia's trying to teach him about the concept of loss. even though yuu n the rest aren't dead, he knows that one day, malleus won't be able to see them anymore. bc they're all humans who have considerably shorter life spans than he does. so ofc he has to bear with the pain and happiness of being friends with humans.

[ about : ...but this may be my last ]

EX-FUCKING-SCUSE ME ??? LILIA VANROUGE (THROTTLES HIM) AND THE FUCKING CHAPTER ENDS THERE RRRAGHHHHh

[ about : ortho... ]

the way he's so very happily and very calmly talking about resetting the world so that idia has a better future....he's quite literally betting that if everyone died that somehow, idia would have a happy life if he were to be reborn ?? and the way he's so very happily expressing his "will" in contrast to what he's actually about to do.

meanwhile idia's watching him in horror and wondering what's happening because everything's going wrong. ortho's naive, he's shown that tendency a lot of times (e.g. in his school uniform vignette, he destroys a whole apple tree using a technomantic beam just to "help" get lucius down,,,despite the fact that he could've flown up there with his boosters and grabbed lucius instead) but this is on a different level. he's trying to kill everyone to reset the world. obviously he's been infected by the will of "other ortho" or "og ortho" but the fact that he could've landed here without interference anyway is kinda scary.

(also the stuff about phantoms coexisting, that's definitely og ortho's talk. not him saying that he wants the world to be filled with blot someone PLEASE SEND HELP. and him calling idia "nii-chan" instead of "nii-san" this is so scary help me please)

[ about : IDIA NOOO ]

WHY IS HE RUNNING TO TARTARUS ALONE ?? IDIA NOOO ???? the way he probably so desperately wants to see ortho again, despite the fact that (speculation) ortho turned into a phantom sobs

god my worst fear just came true, the blot just game to douse the screen, and his pen turned black despite the fact that he can burn up blot. did he decide to plunge into tartarus to try bringing back ortho...? if so, doesn't that meant here's a certain threshold of blot that a shroud can get rid of before they, too, overblot ?

[ about : GRIMMMMM NOOOO ]

OH GOD GRIMMMM HE'S BEING SURROUNDED BY THE BLOT SMOKEEE sobbbinggg my sonnnnn :')))) oh GOD oh no berserk grim is backkkkk MY SON NNOOOO TTT^TTT he's starting to sOUND like a phantom as well.

yeah ig today's international clown day bc i keep leaving off on cliff hangers and just making myself live in misery for no reason huhuhu,,,until tomorrow ig,,,,

[yutaholic]

THIS IS SOO GOOD OMFG I LOVED THIS SERIES! IT'S WELL-WRITTEN AND SUPER INTERESTING, I NEVER GOT BORED ONCE WHILE READING THIS WHOLE STORY SAUR GEWD... STANDING OVATION.

Thank you so much! This means the world to me! Okay so I’ve got a lot of asks that have spoilers in them (totally understandable given the ending lol) and I am going to respond to them beneath the cut here. If you have not read the final part of Smashing the Six, do NOT read the rest of this post! 😅

anonymous asked: SO FAWKING GOOODDDDDDDD WHAT WAS THAT LAST LINE WHAT DOES IT MEAN

It means the dragon aint dead, it’s just sleeping. 😈

@mangomotif asked: omg i knew it had something to do w the members of blackpink

I knew I wanted the admins to be at least 2 that you could suspect and then 1 that had never been encountered during the whole story because that just showed how well she had everyone fooled. And I’ve been listening to lots of Blackpink and aespa lately so lol

anonymous asked: i was on ur page an hr ago and was excited for the last chapter and came back not long after and yay it’s up!!!!! omg the ending!!!! What a wild ride, I looked forward to each chapter so much. thanks for writing such a captivating series!!!!

Thank you for joining me on this ride! 😊

anonymous asked: im the anon from the other day that guessed rosé was apart of neonet because of how she handed the reader yuta and… I KNEW IT! but that ending? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WAS I RIGHT ABOUT DOYOUNG TOO? honestly I feel like it was too good to be true like was it really that easy? all that aside, this series has been a rollercoaster and i’m forever grateful you took the time to make it. like it will seriously always have a place in my heart. i was anxiously reading the whole time

You were right about Doyoung. He’s the real leader. It’s been such a fun rollercoaster!

anonymous asked: WHAT DOES THE END MEAN. DID HE SEND THAT TO MC??? WTF OMG IM SCREAMING

Did he send it to her? Or Jisoo? Or maybe even Ten? 🙃

anonymous asked: Please tell me there’s gonna be another part you can’t just leave it there!!! GIVE US A SEASON 2 !!!!!!!

There will not be a season 2 sadly lol neonet will go underground for a few years and come back maybe in a different form and with all knew admins for a whole new generation of students. Who knows? 😉

@specialagentchoso asked: Please, why does the last part of smashing the six have me tearing up!!! I swear I've never been so emotionally invested in a story before! You did the damn thing with this series, I can't wait to see what you do next!!

Thank you for being invested in it! It was so bittersweet finally finishing it I’ve had a blast with you guys. It’s the end of an era. Now on to Euphoria era 🤧

@cnvs-defs asked: Tha last chapter was so freaking good, it had me on the edge of my seat the entire time!!!! Wtf Thank you for writing such amazing story, you're an incredible writer!! I voted for Winter in the pole and I'm happy I was (partially) right lol. She gave me weird vibes throughout the whole series.

I love suspense lol I hope I made her redeemable as well. She was a complex character in this story. Thank you for reading! 😘

anonymous asked: just finished reading the final chapter of smashing the six i just. i cant even begin to explain how incredible of a series this was. you are so amazingly talented, i wish i could express it better but wow. you have left me speechless, thank you for this, i loved it so much. it was truly incredible, every singe one of them and the whole series/story itself. you're amazing wow

I want to cry thank you so much! I was really nervous yall wouldn’t be happy with the ending and I’m honestly so relieved 😭

anonymous asked: AHHHHH i just read the final part, now that i was stalking or anything 🤭 but the final (and the series in fact) was sooooo good!!! the final final reveal was soooo perfect! A+ writing mwah 😽

You can stalk my stories anytime 😁

anonymous asked: LUNA YOU HAVE DONE IT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!! I accidentally stayed up til 4am and realised final chapter must be posted by now so naturally I read it as slow as possible for the suspense and the REVEAL!!! I’m so pleased that I was kind of right on at least one person haha. That ending?? I reread it like five times just whispering wtf wtf wtf oh and that yuta scene was so heartwarming 🥺 alternate ending with yuta x mc WHEN? That was so good I’ve rlly loved being a part of this from first chap to now

I feel so bad about time zones! I was really happy with her final scene with Yuta. It was a good and happy moment. In an alternate universe they ride off into the sunset together lol

anonymous asked: HUHHH THE ENDING OH MY GOD

hehehehe my beta reader called me and didn’t even say hello she just said BITCH WHAT lol

anonymous asked: Ran out of space in my last ask but - it has been SUCH an experience reading this alongside everyone from the first chapter, seeing everyone’s theories and creating my own, changing them after every chapter, becoming a part of yuta hive (love you mark but lonely boy yuta 🥺💖), the suspense from the uploads and everything has been SO fun. I seriously pity the people who read it later bc whilst they get to read it in one go, they won’t have the same STRESS we went through lol

Seriously half the fun of this story was reading yalls theories because I think I already mentioned this I wrote the first chapter and the ending on the same day. It was so hard not to spoil everything along the way because I was so excited for the big reveal! 😂

anonymous asked: I tried to keep spoilers out of my last 2asks so that they’re publishable so I’ll put here. I LOVED the part where mc went to hand the boys back the photos, they were so close to danger and they didn’t even know, but that’s such a good thing of her. And the thing with HC ab doing better was so sweet bc she got so consumed it was nice to see her out of it. And when the pieces added up I was SHOCKED but it all fell into place, now to reread for clues! ALSO WTF DOYOUNG WDYM ITS BEEN FUN? JAWDROP

Her giving them back the photos was my favorite and also something I wrote at the very beginning. I love character development and when things fall into place 😭

anonymous asked: DOYOUNG????????????

Yall were right all along but nobody told me what it was that made yall so suspicious of him. What gave him away from the very beginning?? 🤣

anonymous asked: holy fuckballs. the end of smashing the six was elite. it’s great how you started a series and the series did SO GOOD. you bagged the title as my favorite writer on tumblr. the final chapter was a rollercoaster. my heart was beating out of my chest as yn and haechan connected all the dots. i felt victorious as yn was in the library with jisoo (yes! blackpink *is* the villain here). lastly, i felt sappy as yn approached the six, even more when it came mark’s turn. AND THEN. oh god i love open endings. I KNEW DOYOUNG WAS IN ON THIS. the school paper has no place for exposes and HE. HE TOLERATED THAT SHIT SO IT MADE SENSE THAT HE WAS CONMECTED. he was shaping yn into *perfect* shape for her future position in neonet. the series was wonderful and i’m so very proud of you. i simply cannot put into words how pleased i am with how well you wrote Smashing the Six. i wish you well in your future writing endeavors. — guia (an anon who posts every other day on your page but today i’ve given myself a name) 

I’m cracking up at ‘holy fuckballs’ lol but also ‘you bagged the title as my favorite writer on tumblr’ like excuse me I need to do my happy dance real quick! It’s ironic Doyoung is one of the people most suspected of being neonet but there isn’t a shred of evidence against him. Thank you for interacting with me often it means a lot! ❤️

@yutiddies asked: I unconditionally support the 6 and Doyoung in smashing the six. I especially unconditionally support Yuta and want to be the one he makes happy some day 😭

You and me need to talk about our attraction to villains because the next series after Euphoria will be Beast Mode and I’ve decided it’s going to be a villain au with a domestic twist. (Like the boys are villains trying to live everyday lives. I’ve already started working on Jeno’s chapter and whew I may have to start handing out holy water) 🔥

anonymous asked: No. Honestly, I'm just soooo glad I came across your blog. You are an amazing writer, and it has been an immense pleasure reading your work. It's gotten me through tough days. What a treat to be able to escape to the worlds you create. I hope you continue to write for as long as it brings you joy. Thank you for taking the time to share with us! That last chapter of Smashing the Six was just great. Amazing series!!! Looking forward to your next work! Thank you again 💚

I’m so glad you found me too! My writing getting someone through a tough time is the only reason I keep posting tbh that is everything to me. Take care dear ❤️

anonymous asked: WHEN SHE WENT AND GAVE THE PICTURES TO THW BOYS?!?? I M SO HAPPY

One of my fave parts 😍

anonymous asked: THOSE LAST FEW LINES OF DOYOUNG TEXTING NEONET??  FUCK OFFFFFF WHAT DIRT DOES THAT MAN HAVEEEE

He’s neonet. He has all the dirt. 😈

anonymous asked: Literally in tears right now huhu I am so happy with how everything ended up for everyone in Smashing The Six 😭😭😭 YUTA PLS 😭😭😭 Also, THAT LAST LINE THO I STILL THINK DOYOUNG SUS hahaha jk. I would've commented on every part of the story that I like but then that would take me forever to finish because I ATE UP EVERY PIECE OF THAT STORY IT'S SO GOOD IT IS JUST WHAT I NEEDED TO GET MY WEEK STARTED. Thank you so much for this amazing series. Wonderful stories from you as always 🥺 I will always look forward to your works, you are my favorite writer here in Tumblr and probably the only reason I am not yet deleting this sht of an app 🤭 I am excited for your new Johnny and Doyoung one shots and the Euphoria and Dreamies series!! I hope you're sleeping well right now and when you wake up you'll be greeted with all the comments on how smashing your story is (see what I did there *wink wink*)- Dyochi Anon

And yall are the reason I haven’t deleted this obnoxious app either lol and with all their constant ads to buy their ugly ass t-shirts and chasing off gif makers with their stupid changes I keep coming REAL close. Hopping online after work and reading all these comments has made my entire month. I hope you know your kind and supportive words always go a long way. There have been times I’ve wanted to quit writing because I just don’t feel good enough but knowing there are sweet people like you reading and enjoying my stuff keeps me writing. Thank you 😊

anonymous asked: DOYOUNG???? HELLO!!?

Doyoung can’t come to the phone right now. He’s gotta find someone else to take over neonet. 😜

anonymous asked: Every time I read something you write I'm in awe!! What an amazing writer you are, truly!! I don't even realize how long some fics are because I'm so immersed in the story, you really know how to keep us hooked! Thank you so much for this series, the twists, the friendships, betrayals, and omg!! that ending! I knew it! fucking Doyoung dude, being the leader from the shadows and sending the girls to do the nasty job.... but who was he texting?.... once again, amazing work, thank you!

Thank you so much!! Yep. The three girls answered to him. They are busted (as they should be) but he gets away clean. At the end, it is open to interpretation who he was texting (which I did on purpose).

@natattack1997 asked: wait so if y/n had accepted the editor in chief position she would’ve been the ACTUAL head of neonet?!?! 🤯 that was absolutely wild.

Yes. In the very first chapter you get a tiny glimpse into Doyoung’s thoughts and he already decided to name her the next editor in chief, but he was really on the hunt for who would replace him as the head of neonet.

anoymous asked: wait... so Doyoung was sending mc the anonymous texts? what about Ten - who sent him? also,, do the girls know doyoung is the real leader?

The texts were from Jisoo (notice she kept texting during their meeting.) Ten has been hooking up with Lisa (confirmed in chapter 5) and Lisa is close with Jisoo and Rose for obvious reasons and that’s how Ten knew about them. Lisa said reader exposed her for hooking up with a teacher. Not neonet. That kinda gave away that they were lenient with her. Ten does their bidding because they have dirt on him.

Doyoung is the spider weaving the web. The girls are the admins and run the site. Doyoung is the boss (which is why Jisoo was panicking when reader didn’t fall in line because she knew she failed to recruit her and Doyoung will not be pleased.) The girls were in charge of blackmail and Doyoung was in charge of the girls and manipulating everyone from a distance.

They do NOT know that it’s Doyoung. He does everything anonymously that way no one can ever roll on him. The real alpha of neonet has to survive or the site dies. He will have to find a replacement, but he said NCTU deserves some peace so he’s not mad about the site going underground for a while. They’ll come back with a vengeance with a new ruler and admins, but reader and her boys will be long gone by then.

anonymous asked: rosè breaking major cybercrime laws by filming LMFAOOOOO why are you proud? anyways, i know how you introduced a new character instead of making you-know-who neonet (even if he is technically) you should have added jinyoung so it’s a jinjido reunion - guia

Blackmail is also very illegal. But they’ve got rich daddies. They’ll get a slap on the wrist because that’s how our criminal justice system works. The more money you have, the less punishment you get. But they will be effectively ostracized from NCTU. They will take the fall for now. 😅

anonymous asked: OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK THE LAST BIT WITH DOYOUNG ISTG I GOT GOOSEBUMPS LIKE HE REALLY IS NEONET RIGHT… OR DID I UNDERSTAND IT WRONG guess i have to confess to my crush now 🫠 wish me luckkk

Yes, he is the true head of neonet. OMG when I got your first message about confessing to your crush I was with my bff and read it to her because I was DYING! I was like oh no this anon is right and will have to confess to their crush!! 🤣

anonymous asked: THE ENDING PARRTTTT IDK WHY I WAS SHOCKED BC I LITERALLY VOTED DOYOUNG😭😭 this series was definitely a ride but i’m glad and definitely satisfied with the ending u did amazing

I’m so glad you’re satisfied with the ending. That was my main goal. 😘

anonymous asked: HAECHAN’S CHARACTER IN SMASHING THE SIX😭😭😭😭 so precious i want to smash my head into a wall

I love him so much!  😍

anonymous asked: WAIT I'M FREAKING OUT DID DOYOUNG DO THAT TO TEST EITHER SHE COULD BE THE EDITOR CHIEF OR NOT?  MAN IS ONE OF THEM ALL THESE TIMES HUHH WHAT

Yep. In chapter one he had already picked her to be editor in chief (but didn’t tell her yet) so everything after that was a test to see if she could run neonet. Someone asked me if neonet was run by a person or a group and I said both. The 3 girls were the admins, but Doyoung was running it. Neonet survives because they will take all the heat but no one caught him.

anonymous asked: Hiiii I just wanted to say that I finished reading smashing the six and every step along the way was incredible!! The ending was so mind blowing and I had GOOSEBUMPS from your writing…. It’s been long since I felt that way from a great story & I’m so excited for your new fics to come! Thank you for blessing us with such a well thought out masterpiece 🥺

Thank you so much for this message! I’m glad you enjoyed it! 🙏

anonymous asked: THE PLOT TWIST?! i was smiling the whole entire time (when she discovered neonet and making peace) that rly caught me off guard. oh my god now idk what to do😭😭 i rly have no words I NEED THIS TO BE A MOVIE better a series😩 omg now i cant wait for euphoria

Thank you! I need a movie too for science and for the Yuta shower scene lol jk 😂

anonymous asked: the layers to this story and how human reader was I am in awe I rly was skeptical how she would be able to beat neonet but you nailed it

Thank you! She won because neonet underestimated her. She was never hungry for power, she was trying to mend a broken heart. The boys inadvertently helped her do that and with her finally allowing herself to heal and move on, lust for power had no more sway over her. She was never ruthless enough to rule neonet. 😁

anonymous asked: how in the fuck did you pull this off? you gave me closure but also suspense with that ending? you cant do that its not possible!!

I worked very hard to do exactly that! 😂

@the-borahae-jj asked: OKOKOK SO FIRST OF ALL I LOVE YOU LAMO SECOND OF ALL THAT WAS SUCH A GREAT RIDE THANK YOU SO MUCH I was looking forward to every single chapter and I absolutly loved the plot and your writing and I could go on and on. I MUST SAY THO I HAD sooo many THEORIES AND I WORKED IT OUTTTTT EVEN Doyoung. Girl I knew, like I knew, and it made it so much more fun for me. Also give me Haechan; you were right about us loving him. I need him now. And YOU KNOW I FIGURED OUT WINTER YOUR RESPONSE GAVE IT AWAY LMAOOO, I hope you enjoyed yourself as much as I did and I’m ready to figure out anything else/more you create cuz let's be real. it's amazing. Loved interacting with you like this too. Seriously. You brought so much joy. As always have a great day/night <3 (2/2) NO BUT REALLY I FIGURED IT OUT HAHA <3 I really want to hug you now haha fr you did such amazing job and I'm so glad I could look forward to your writing  ok imma dip now MWAH

Thank you so much! I love that some of you figured it out but I was still able to surprise you. I left hints for yall to find and I always smiled so hard when you found them! Bring it in for a long distance digital hug! 🤗

anonymous asked: i love that she walked away. i love that she won. i love that she protected the boys. i love who she ended up with. i love the ending. I LOVE YOU.

I love you too and I love this story. I just saw that the story masterpost got 3k+ notes holy shit! Thank you all for reading and enjoying this fic! ❤️

[wack-ashimself]

'Bad Traveling', S3, E2 of 'Love, Death & Robots' is some new age moby dick* meets the mist kinda shit...

Spoilers.

I am telling this WHOLE fucking thing, cuz it was one of the best written pieces ever.

One of my favorite shorts of all time.

IT IS WORTH THE WATCH. Go watch it!

The ONLY way you should read this is if you already watched it or can not watch it, in which case, hit me up-I got streaming links.

****SERIOUSLY, ONE LAST TIME: PLEASE GO WATCH THIS BEFORE READING THIS. 10/10! I NEVER GIVE THAT! And this? It gives away the best OMG moments of a rough but real...who is gonna screw over who story.****

Old tyme pirate sailors. Get attacked by a giant crab at sea. It kills the captain. It falls into the base of their ship, trapped. 2nd mate decides they should pull straws, since it's fair, to see who has to go down and try to deal with it (tho it had easily killed some of the crew without trying). Big bully type draws the short straw...then claims to be the leader in charge of who goes down there! (clearly, no one will challenge him cuz he'd most likely kill them. In Dennis's voice from 'Always Sunny': (They) would never say no because of the implication.)

He picks the 2nd mate to go down. Guy goes down and crab tries to attack, but he goes down a narrow path. Crab uses a dead body to communicate (1142534643% like the movie 'Independence Day'). Crab says take me to a very populated island to eat, and I'll spare you. But you must feed me. Guy says deal, but the crab has to give him a key the crab ate...

Guy comes upstairs, everyone wondering wtf just happened. Guy slowly walks, looking shocked, then works up to a SPRINT toward the captain's quarters, opens a case with the key, and pulls a gun on the bully. Says HE is in charge. But they, like before, have to send someone down to the crab. But this time as a meal...

Bully gets thrown down alive. Unanimously.

Guy in charge tells everyone the deal-take the monster to a nearby island to feast on everyone, including babies, and their lives are spared. OR, they take it to a more deserted island, further away, hinting even more would of them have to die in order to feed the crab (to keep tricking the crab), but saving an entire island's people (also hinting the crab, out of anger, would kill them all anyways when it found out it was tricked). So they put it to an anonymous vote. Guy counts the ballots...

And he lied. He secretly marked each paper, so he knew who said they wanted to feed an island of innocents to the monster!

He kills the 2 instantly. Feeds them to the monster.

Guy almost gets assassinated soon after, but, right as he's going to kill the betrayer, the crab demands an audience.

Monster says they need to be at the island NOW. And reveals she had 10s maybe 100s of BABIES! And they need their meals!

Guy goes up, forgives everyone, and goes to take a nap. They all try to come and kill him in his bed.

He was waiting in the corner.

He kills them all. His whole crew, but one who didn't want to join and was hiding. Again-Because they were gonna kill him, go to that island and let everyone get eaten in the TINY chance they could survive, the crab wasn't lying and wouldn't just kill them anyway. He had to do a horrific, soul crushing, darkly decisive thing...to do the RIGHT thing in the end.

So as he and the last crew mate are throwing the bodies down to be eaten, they start talking the ballots. And how he LIED about marking them. WHAT?!

...

...

Then he goes 'I didn't have to. Because every-single-last-one-of-you marked X (go to the island and let the monster kill everyone there)'

and shoves the last guy down, to be eaten alive.

So he's sailing, alone, dark night, basically murdered his whole crew, 2 eaten alive by his hand**, ship full of monsters growing by the second, near impossible to kill...

walks down to the crab one more time. Slowly giving a distracting speech as he cuts open oil barrels. Crab laughs says she's protected. And he goes 'it's not for you.' Lights it on fire, runs, crab destroying everything since he's burning alive her children, and that is when you notice:

She was never EVER trapped on this ship. She's slicing it apart without trying. She was using it as a NEST. So when they got to the island, all her babies could feed on humans!

Ships burning, crab is trying to get out, almost does, but mast kinda gets her stuck. Guy jumps off the ship to the back up boat, as you see his old ship burn off into the night. Lights maybe in the background; hope for the guy yet (or maybe reflection of the fire)? Fade to black.

<he def killed the babies, doubtful the mom, so wouldn't she be vengeful? Come to any island or boat nearby? Also, with those lights maybe in the distance, he still left an angry crab right by people, so maybe all his fight was in vain. THERE'S SO MANY FUCKING LAYERS!>

This 20 minute video had more twists, turns, hooks, moral dilemmas, etc than the last like average 10 movies I watched combined. You had HOURS; they did it in 20!

*I never read moby dick. I just thought the tension of the crew at sea, mixed with the tone of the mist of betrayal and making sacrifices...was a good header.

**I thought he was the good guy the whole time, but rereading this for errors and I was like ....he came out more neutral.

[trulymadlysydney]

Ahhh I did see the paramount+ episode! And girl what they showed with josh and Shannon was nothing compared to what they used to show in the early uk version seasons lol. But still pretty wild! I like how Shannon was like I don’t kiss and tell then proceeded to go into explicit detail about how he ate her out with the girls like girl good for you but uhhh are you sure you wanna share that? It was funny how josh was like sorry mom. I try to not like him but honestly the man is growing on me.

And slade? Oh my god dude I was so sad bc he seemed like a genuine guy and I really hope everything is okay. But I think that ensures javonnys safety and honestly thank god bc if he left I would’ve been so sad.

I completely agree about Isaiah. Especially bc he went to Aimee straight after he and cash agreed they weren’t working. Which to me was also bullshit when he said he was forcing it with her but literally the day before he told her that he feels closest to her?? Get outta here dude. I really want Aimee and Wes to work out they just make sense to me. Jeremy is a pile of garbage I don’t understand how so many girls like him. And I hate to say it but you’re also right about cash. Like I love her and all but sometimes she’s just… overreacting? I don’t know how to describe it.

And what about the pact at the end between Olivia and cash? I think we all know cash is gonna go for Wes but what about Olivia? I have this theory that she’s also into Jeremy especially bc in one of the drop episodes she had to kiss someone during that challenge and cash told her you should kiss Jeremy and basically told her to go for it. And let’s not forget Jeremy said he’d pick her to have a threesome with in yesterday’s challenge. I just don’t think Olivia is as into javonny as he is into her unfortunately. But maybe I’m wrong who knows I just have a gut feeling about it.- E

Anonymous asked: Oh and sorry I totally ignored your question but I do think they’ll be casa amor this season! I mean I don’t see why not but yeah it’ll be absolute chaos. If it happened tomorrow we all know that Isaiah will graft on every girl until one shows interest and probably the same goes for Jeremy. Those two need to LEAVE -E

-----

Putting this under a cut because it's long as shit kdlajfs;kj

Omg SERIOUSLY?! GOD like I thought the Josh and Shannon thing was lowkey porn but now I'm intrigued lmfao. Honestly I'm glad they went to the villa. I have such mixed feelings about both of them, like I feel like Shannon STAYS stirring the pot which is... annoying but also like? Idk I hate to love her lmfao. Also YES LIKE UGH I DONT WANT TO LIKE JOSH AND SHANNON BUT I REALLY DO. I know they're not going to last outside the villa (like... they will but not for very long lmao) but they're good together for now.

I AGREE I REALLY LIKE SLADE AND I KNOW THAT IF I WERE IN THE VILLA HE'S SOMEONE I WOULD'VE GONE FOR IN A HEARTBEAAAAAT. I hope he's okay and I'm glad everyone was nice to him even though he was only there for like, what, one night? I agree though. I want Javonny to stay and I can't believe how much I'm starting to like him and Olivia.

Yeah idk where they found these fake ass men for this season f;dlafj;ls but Isaiah is bugging me. I feel like you can just tell exactly the type of guy he is in the outside world-- like he KNOWS he's pretty and he feels like he can get whatever he wants because of that. Fuck outta here lol. Also THANK YOU IM SO GLAD YOU AGREE LF;KDSJF LIKE Cash is still my favorite but like.... the villa doesn't revolve around you baby, not everything is a personal attack.

ALSO I cannot express how much I want Aimee and Wes together. God like every time he opens his mouth I'm like SWOONING. He's a dream, and I think he would treat Aimee the way she deserves to be treated. I feel like Cash and Wes are a weird match tbh. Wes even came into the villa ALL about Aimee right from the get go, but we fucked it up because we all voted for Cash to get a date dalkjf;dslkj and now he's like "Cash surprised me" or whatever. LOVE miss Cash but Aimee is a much better fit with Wes.

The pact has me nervous lkdfaj;djlkds like I feel like they're going to end up screwing themselves over. Although I think it'll be interesting to see Olivia finally like, putting forth effort to get a guy lmao. I hadn't thought about her and Jeremy but I actually completely see what you mean... when he kissed her as part of that "threesome" question I legit gasped. I think Javonny is really into her and he's trying so hard, but I feel like she's stringing him along and forcing herself to be like "no I'm into him kinda I guess."

CASA AMOOOOR PLEASE I CANT WAIT FOR THOSE EPISODES IF THAT'S REALLY GONNA BE A THING!!!!! I can think of quite a few people I want OFF the island. Bring in some fresh faces PLEASE!

[aharris00britney]

ASKS 16

haha remember in July when I said I was gonna answer stuff every month... yeah me neither 🙈🙈 anyways lots of stuff under the cut

Anonymous said: You should get along with other Simblrs and start a new cc group now that PTS is disbanded, your hairs and clothes are always amazing! :D

Firstly thank you! Most of the clothing in AxA is 99% ayoshi with me going in after and cleaning/adding some stuff. So I give him props for the clothes :P As far as a ‘new PTS’ style group idk, there are a lot of amazing creators on simblr but I think the reason PTS was such a special thing is because the bond they all had. I feel that when working on collabs with some of my really close friends (such as the one coming out this month with @dogsill​ and @ayoshi​) because we have known each other for over 2 years now. A group of friends built only for collabing purposes would be more of a hassle than an enjoyment imo. <3

Anonymous said: HELLLOOOO! just curious bc why not but what is your favorite creation that you have made??

It varies every month to be honest lmao. If you asked me to pick a favorite hair from each month? Easy, always the last release of the month. But favorite hair ever? Awwww shucks 🤠 lmao I would say my Madison Hair is one of my favorite hair releases, I am planning to revamp it soon to work with my Mia ombre accessories and tidy the mesh up some. 

Anonymous said: hello, when will this collection be free for public download please? /post/186706149526/patreon-08-19

That came out in August luv, go to my downloads page and click AxA 2019

Anonymous said: Hi! Idk if you do wcif!!!! But if you do, wcif the freckles on the girl with the short hair on the BOP AHOOB collab?? If you know! Thank you much in advance!!!!!

Hey! You’ll need to send Bowl-Of-Plumbobs a message for that WCIF, that was his Sim otherwise I would link you. Sorry hun

@lumalinrose-sims​ said: Not a question, but you are like so cool I can't even--

thank you lmao I appreciate it, your profile pic it pretty cool :P

@ang3lba3 said: sarah is so pretty!!! is there a way to download how she looks in its entirety, or no? (sorry if this is a silly question im pretty new to the sims) 

not silly don’t worry :P the Sarah hair is for download on the post, the sim can be downloaded here but she is a bit outdated as I have changed her somewhat since then. 

Anonymous said: Hihi just stopping by to tell you how much I love your hairs!!

thank you so much! I appreciate the love<3

Anonymous said: hi! i just wanted to say that i love your cc so much i and always look forward to your posts! you make the cutest cc ever and honestly you're probably my favorite cc maker. you also seem like such a chill and genuine person we truly stan.

fgvhbjn thank you lmao I am literally TOO CHILL irl lmao I let people run over me so much but it’s whatever. Thank you again for the super sweet message. Have a great day if you’re reading this :)

Anonymous said: Heeeey we have the same name

Austin club :P great name til you’re trying to sign something and it looks awful (at least for me I can’t do my signature for shit)

Anonymous said: the collab with bop is so boring and dull it’s drier than a cracker it’s a no from me

well not everything is going to be someones cup of tea lmao I’m sure there is someone that enjoys it which counters you’re negative view <3

Anonymous said: Hi I love your cc! I have almost all of it in my game and I love your tropical punch palette so much I was wondering if you would ever consider releasing the palette.

If I ever make an ombre accessory tutorial video I will release a set of actions for the palette. If you wanna use the palette feel free to grab the hex codes from S4S.

Anonymous said: How did you become a ea game changer? Was it through Tumblr or youtube?

About a year ago SimGuruKate was the community manager and had applications for Tumblr Game Changers, I applied and got accepted. Follow SimGuruFrost on Twitter to stay up to date on when new applications are open.

Anonymous said: Are you going to upload the hair you made on your livestream? I literally love your work and am a Patreon subscriber!!!

Hey! The hair will be in my October voting (I think) and if it wins, release will be November. If it doesn’t win I will put it in November voting and so forth til it wins. Also thank you for watching the stream and supporting me on Patreon 

Anonymous said: hello!! i just wanted to see if knew is there’s anyway i can save my cc and save files somehow where i can download them again if my computer breaks so i don’t have to download it all again.?

zip your Sims 4 folder and upload it to Google Drive/SimsFileShare/OneDrive. Then when you install Sims 4 again you just replace the folder made in Electronic Arts in your Documents.

Anonymous said: what face do you make when your in love with a bee?

this is an old anon so I doubt they’re gonna check for this, and I can’t find the joke on Google so.... anybody know it?

Anonymous said: i love these collab sets they are honestly gifts from above

mhmm gifts from above for every collab except those in October... those are from below  👹 😳

Anonymous said: the pack is sooooo cute i love everything omg!!!! The male stuff is so adorable i can’t wait to download   

Anonymous said: you guys are the only ones i go to for packs i would love to see build buy items in the future we don’t get a lot mm stuff like that

Anonymous said:i just want to say thank you for putting in so much time and hard work and dedication to creating cc for us. i hope there's never a moment when you feel unappreciated, and i want you to know we all love you!

@primadonnaliferiseandfall​ said: all hail you and ayoshi for the cc pack its so pretty omg!!!!

Anonymous said: omg the kings have delivered!!

Anonymous said: since we got axa 2019 and 2018 will there be an axa 2020? 👀

Anonymous said: Great job on the pack! Everyone's items look gorgeous! Thank you for making this, you talented human being.

Anonymous said: ilysm! that’s all 💓💫

Anonymous said: just wanted to let you know that your content is absolutely amazing and i love it all :) sending love from the uk👍

Anonymous said: would you and ayoshi consider sharing the psds for some of the stuff in your collab? please?

thank you guys so much! Me and Ayoshi were super super happy with the AxA 2019 release and we are so happy with how many people have liked it. AxA 2020 will be a thing, yes. Also I have been working on PSDs that are super easy to navigate. I will get those up soon hopefully.

@graphicpickles​ said: Hey um, I dont know if you were aware of this but your discord link is broken ^^"

hey! this is super late sorry, discord link should be working now. If not: https://discord.gg/CtQR9tb

Anonymous said: Why would you include a cc hair in a preview for a cas review

because I liked the hair and wanted to use it 😗

@goddesssimmerina​ said: I just stopped by to tell you how much I LOVE your content. *_* I just went through and downloaded soooo much! xD I actually just switched to using MM hair and i'm so glad I did because I'm finding so many of you amazing creators and I thank you all sm! :*

awe thank you!! I appreciate it. Welcome to MM hair world :P

@moonbrightsims said: whats ur origin id?

AHarris00Britney

Anonymous said: how are your photos/screenshots so high quality? seriously, do you use a mod for it or idk editing? or maybe your settings?

Ultra Settings, and I use SRWE for HQ pics. 

Anonymous said: if you don’t answer this ask you’re straight

It has been answered. I am no longer straight. Was a hard two months not answering this 😔😔😔

Anonymous said: Hi, would you mind teaching us how you make the LoDs of your hairs? I opened one of them in S4S and found out your LoDs are great looking. I use decimate tool in blender and they look really bad.

I edge split everything before I decimate in Blender, I also delete the hairline and extrude the mesh inside the head before decimating as well. Really confusing to explain in words sorry. Might make a tutorial.

Anonymous said: omg ur cc finds blog has apink namjoo as icon and header. i'm.. sCREAMING. austin knows royalty

yes ma’am now where is the comeback

- it was at this point I realized I have caught up with my last asks post and have answered 4 things over again from Asks 15. Well... I guess that’s it folks

see yall in asks 17 in 2 months.... maybe the end of October idk

[fortheheavenssake]

PG MM Anon Interpretation Collection - 20

💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻PG INTERPRETATION OF MM ANON🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜

129: Nov 30

MM ANON ……… “Darling’ please pass the Wrinkle cream” ………”she’s on this blog I read”💜……… “ we’ve been invited to the Boxing Day shoot” …… WoW ‘ that’s a beautiful photo Kate …… “he’s to young ‘ good grief William!!”…… ‘This cobra has no fangs ……… “The service, maybe bring C&G.” ……… “ The spring diary ma’am’ was thinking they could do The America’s and Canada” ……… “ the Children too”…… “what say you Philip?” …… “indubitable , old thing” …… “ Settled!!”……” Sidney’ more refreshments”

💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻THANK YOU MM ANON, SERIOUSLY THANK YOU😁🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜

November 30/2019 Riddle #128

1325 hrs CST

“Darling’ please pass the Wrinkle cream” “she’s on this blog I read”💜

I AM SQUEALING WITH EXCITEMENT OMG!! Catherine is doing her skin care, which every woman of beauty, style and substance MUST DO REPEATEDLY, “” Don’t cha know!” (sorry MM ANON l had to pilfer those last three words from a riddle few days back because they are so unbelievably exciting and significant!). She asks William to hand her the wrinkle cream. William looks dumbfounded because there are about 35 jars on the counter, wondering which one she wants and asks, Catherine why do you have all these? She replies, the woman recommending the creams is on the blog she reads! PURPLE HEART!!💜💜💜💜💜 KIDS I HAVE MADE IT, I AM A CLUE IN AN MM ANON RIDDLE WHICH MEANS CATHERINE AND THE GANG READ THIS BLOG AND READ OUR CONTRIBUTIONS! From the 💜 lady on the blog you read, Catherine, whatever you’re doing, it’s working, but if you ever do want to talk skin wrinkle cream, you know where to find me💜💜💜💜😁😁😁😁

“ we’ve been invited to the Boxing Day shoot”

Lots of us have surmised for quite sometime now that Harry has a lovely partner, and a few of us are dead certain on who it is. He completed his tour of duty at the culmination of the SA trip and RS services. She is now fully out of his life, the public just doesn’t know yet. I am certain an annulment will occur. Anyhow it sounds like they have been invited for Boxing Day. She will be perfect and everyone has always wanted Harry happy, after all he and the family has been through, 2020, at least for him will bring a brand new start!

WoW ‘ that’s a beautiful photo Kate”

I can hardly wait for the Christmas photos, Catherine is such a phenomenal photographer, and as l said the other day, she snaps her children through the loving eyes of a mother. Someone is complementing her one of her photographs. It’s not William because he calls her Catherine. I think those in the field have really taken note of yet another skill she has. Sounding like a public exhibition of her photographic works is in the works!

“he’s to young ‘ good grief William!!”

Back to the shooting day on Boxing Day, Catherine is aghast that William even entertains the idea of him coming along. He’s a big boy, but not that big, yet! The way time flies, time will be here soon enough. Might this be the time for me to once again place ,y request for #4.☺️☺️💜

‘This cobra has no fangs

Madam, wherever on this planet she is, has been defanged. Whatever she held is being held no more. She is in a world/whirled of trouble, just the IRS back taxes alone! Plus any other alleged charges, l won’t go into because we are all singing from the same hymn sheet you know the words!🤣🤣😂😂

“The service, maybe bring C&G.”

YES PLEASE! I would LOVE to see them do the morning walk to and from church with all the other family members! THAT would most certainly be a Christmas gift for me!!!

“ The spring diary ma’am’ was thinking they could do The America’s and Canada” “ the Children too””what say you Philip?” “indubitable , old thing” “ Settled!!””Sidney’ more refreshments”

Saturday afternoon, morning of riding and now just having tea ☕️, refreshments and a good talk. The next few days will bring some major events, The NATO greeting and the banquet on December 3/2019, that has all been fully organized, arranged, menu, seating plan etc etc. LG speaking regarding the official Diary for 2020. Oh MM ANON , this riddle just keeps on giving and giving, it’s like Christmas morning! Sounds like an official Royal tour of America, and Canada with the entire Cambridge family!! If l were a 🐕 dog, my tail would be wagging so fast right now!!! This is very very exciting!!! HMTQ asks PP his opinion, and he very much concurs, then that’s that , it’s settled!! Cord pulled, and as usual he is there almost simultaneously,Sidney, a Boddingtons for himself and a Gin and DuBonnet for HMTQ!! Are you guys getting tired of my scenes of HMTQ, PP, the cord pulling and drinks??Or is it enjoyed? Because l LOVE it, they’re human!!

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦. 1410 hrs CST

After the horror of yesterday, thank you MM ANON for a fun riddle. I enjoy them all, but this might just be my favourite, for OBVIOUS REASONS☺️😁😁

💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻PG🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜

Thank you dear PG! What a delight….such fun! And look at you! Known for your wrinkle cream! This was great! We love your stories….😊💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Ask Skippy

————////

130: Dec 2

MM ANON ……… the king in waiting ……… “Mmmmm , not many diversions left”……… in need of some TLC. ……… financial scrutiny ……… financial mutiny !!! ………… “ Don’t piss down my back and tell me it’s raining!!!!!!”………… “Catherine ‘ it’s HM” ……… “ Catherine, I want your discretion”………… “ it would be my privilege ma’am”……… “ That’s a tough one, old thing” ……… “she can do it!! “…… “makes you proud old thing, he looks the part” ……… “backseat ,a Philip?” ………… “ dot The Is…………”

💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻THANK YOU MM ANON🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

December 2/2019 0045 hrs CST RIDDLE #128

the king in waiting

This phrase has been used in regards to the Prince of Wales, for decades now. Since PP stepped down from official duties, HMTQ has been steadily handing over various patronages , to PC, The Duchess of Cornwall, William and Catherine, Harry, gosh even madam got the British Theatre patronage! Lots were delighted about that, NOT! Yet that one was part of the prolonged game of charades the Royal family has been forced to play, even though it’s a game they live, certainly not this variation of the game! PC has been successfully voted in as Head of the Commonwealth, that role does not automatically be bestowed on him. PC will continue to take on more and more responsibilities. In that, we shall observe some of that during the NATO visit, as well as decision making regarding several impending crises situations, which in all likelihood are made and done, we just have not been officially informed of as yet!

“Mmmmm , not many diversions left”

Madam has hardly been a peep heard from, her PR used to have 10-15 articles a day in the DM alone, it’s almost like she is contained somewhere? She used the rare old uncle cards a week or so back. She does not have a whole lot more to pull out of that giant rabbits hat/fedora she often wore! The will she won’t she et al about going to America thanksgiving game is over. The IRS is waiting!

in need of some TLC.

TLC, is a tv channel here with oddest shows, pimple popping doctors, married fiancés overseas, guy with five wives etc. We don’t need ,THAT, TLC. TLC is what nurses excel at, good ones anyhow, Tender Loving Care. Whose in need of that? PP is recovering from flu/cold? However he doesn’t strike me as a man that would like to be fussed and clucked around! HMTQ is strong as they come. I wonder if this is our Harry. Adjusting to life without madam, l wonder when and how this will all be made official? I know the surrogate baby is not Harry’s and l have no doubt the child is being lovingly anonymously looked after. Harry, whom,l think l was correct about him being on the bridge the other day, would have had his first active duty incident. He may need not described as TLC but rather debriefing as would the entire team. This is always done after a major incident, first to review protocol, was it carried out, do any changes need done. Then it’s the emotional debriefing, THATS THE ESSENTIAL part of keep a critical response team functional, make sure to debrief the emotions! I imagine , the debriefings, the formal ones are done, 72hours is the golden time window. I have led and been involved with quite a few debriefings, the mental health end of it. Often team members are assigned a mentor especially if they are new to the unit! Great work Harry! I have never ever given up on you, nor will l ever!! Notice they all wore balaclavas, for security! It’s what we wear here in winter to not have our face freeze off, if cross country skiing, snowmobiling etc etc.

financial scrutiny ……… financial mutiny !!!

This is what is keeping madam in the UK! I cannot even fathom how much money she owes her government since she last filed taxes, has she been honest in all her previous tax filings? Seriously? You think she has? The amount of money made in a zillion ways over her lifetime, and what has all transpired since she entered the orbit of the BRF , we are talking millions and millions! I am quite certain, given the fact Americans are still due to pay taxes even if a non resident and given her status and the wealth she married into, l have no doubt the IRS is auditing her, hence the word scrutiny. Mutiny , that a seafarers word for disobeying the captain and the crew takes over, is also a criminal conspiracy among a group of people to openly oppose, change, or overthrow a lawful authority to which they are subject. Now does this sound like a group of individuals we might know? Madam, MA, JM, etc, the families,in America, Mexico, all allegedly working in tandem.

“ Don’t piss down my back and tell me it’s raining!!!!!!”

I love this phrase, my uncle used to say this, the horse rancher, whose son now runs it. In other words, Pissing on, means doing something bad to someone. Don’t piss on my boots and tell me its raining is a response to someone dressing up a bad situation — usually for their own benefit — by telling them to knock it off and stop lying. In other words madam has been doing this her entire life and using the raining excuse to explain her way out of everything! Well LG is having none of that, no more using that as an excuse or exit strategy. The game is over, in fact it never was a game to those she was pi**ing all over!

“Catherine ‘ it’s HM” “ Catherine, I want your discretion”“ it would be my privilege ma’am”

HMTQ rings Catherine, rather than a visit. I would assume, like , in movies, especially High Society with Grace Kelly and Bing Crosby, huge mansions/palaces, their phones have no dials, just labelled whose line it is, how old am I?🤣🤣🤣😂😂. But l am quite certain HMTQ would use a landline phone, because l do😁😁😁. After squidgygate, and other similar ghastly phone calls that were recorded, and then made public, plus intelligence and needs for security in today’s world, l have no doubt that everything is encrypted, and they likely have blocking technology so none of those fancy devices you can, it’s like a clear plastic umbrella, it gathers sound from a distance and you can listen in, you need a jamming device to block the signal, muddying it, if you like. I am sure technology is way way way advanced of that already.

William is away, is she asking her to sit with Harry at the NATO banquet and used discretion when others ask where madam is? I hardly think that would require a big private ask. I wonder if she is needed to witness and sign some legal papers referencing divorce or annulment. Giving her statement or witness to some madam has said or done.

Does this have something to do with the Marchioness of Cholmondeley????????

“ That’s a tough one, old thing” ……… “she can do it!! “…… “makes you proud old thing, he looks the part” ……… “backseat ,a Philip?”

HMTQ and PP, spending time near the great hearth, so warm , cozy, absolutely nothing like the feel of, sight of, smell if and sound of a crackling wood fire. Weather has a definite chill, time for wooden sweaters, and warm family time. Himself , a Boddingtons, 🍺,HMTQ gin and DuBonnet 🍸 . Discussing the next few days and what has happened in the last few. Pondering the decision HMTQ to call Catherine, tough decision, tough thing to ask. PP is reassuring HMTQ that Catherine is very capable, can be trusted and relied upon in any and all circumstances.

More changes in the offing so they can spend more time together. Makes them proud, PC has done, and with increased responsibility he very much looks the part of a King in waiting. If HMTQ does decide to make PC Regent, this conversation would be very much the same, trust and he looks every bit the Regent! Last abbreviated line, HMTQ says is rhetorical, meaning not expecting an answer but rather stating her intent, she is going to be taking a backseat for Charles to be Regent!

“ dot The Is…………”

Is it annulment as l hope? Or divorce? When one says, ESPECIALLY in legal matters, dot the letter i and cross the t, it means make sure everything is done 109% correctly, no way anyone can back out, Sue or twist it. So we shall very soon be hearing a press release of either an annulment or a divorce final between Harry and madam!!

0205 hrs CST. GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦 🥂 🍾

Thank you dear PG! Fascinating read….much seems to be going on…..much appreciated!😊💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Ask Skippy

—————-

131: Dec 2

MM ANON … “when we are born, we cry , that we are come”…… “your RH. that’s why you didn’t go” ……… “Four” ……… ahhhhhrrr , I hate mornings!! ……… “give a dog a bone …” ………… “ yes , we’re all watching it! It’s very addictive “ ……… “ How the f***did they know that!!!”………… “ I told them Philip!!” ……… “bloody snoops” …… At the last count sir , all was Ticketyboo.

💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻THANK YOU MM ANON🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

December 2/2019 Riddle #129

1700 hrs CST

“when we are born, we cry , that we are come”.

“

Dear MM ANON returneth us to the bard, William Shakespeare’s King Lear.

Babies do not automatically cry at birth, some do, but some need a slap on the bum, holding upside down rubbing on chest to loosen any fluids that may have been aspirated(inhaled) during the traumatic birth process. It’s a physical trauma for mum to be sure but also babe. Going from, dark, warm, safe environment of dark, echoey sounds, to bright theatre lights, many staff, beeping of machines, it’s parents noise of joy, and than itself own crying noises.

The entire play, uses one similar stance as (Macbeth, Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player

That struts and frets his hour upon the stage

And then is heard no more: it is a tale

Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,

Signifying nothing. )

Lear is full of cons and duplicity.

This whole life and the world madam moved in , nonstop using people to climb up the ladder, obtaining information and using that and on and on. This will be very shortly end and l truly believe Christmas will be enjoyed! BY ALL!!! Those who serve their dark master do not truly celebrate Christmas anyways!

“your RH. that’s why you didn’t go”

I think this is Catherine explaining to someone why she didn’t attend the TUSK Awards, for “childcare reasons “, was what we were told. l think, in light of the above news, it was childcare, just feeling unwell, and taking cate of her baby bump. Now l hope MM ANON you haven’t teased us or l over reading into the clues! If in fact, Catherine is expecting, this , if all her children would be her ‘easiest first trimester’ because previously her hyperemesis gravidarum, has required hospitalization and then that care at home for subsequent pregnancies. This would be marvellous news anytime but ESPECIALLY NOW!!! I can just the smile across the persons she is speaking with face, as they realize oh THATS why you didn’t attend!!

“Four” ahhhhhrrr , I hate mornings!!

William is awoken by a sound, one he knows all too well. He looks at the clock and makes the comments groaning. He gets up to go tend to Catherine in the bathroom. They look at one another, smiling! BABY NUMBER FOUR IS ON HER WAY!! Thank you ever so much for granting my repeated requests and congratulations!💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻PG🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜

OR OR OR OR OR OR IR BOTH😁😁😁😁😁

Harry continues his training, and duty, early morning, VERY early mornings are part and parcel of that.

“give a dog a bone …”

When you give a dog a bone, you not only give him a treat but something to tease him with, and dogs love that so much! The media has been giving us bits of flesh but no major bone, YET! It’s coming! I wonder what tomorrow’s headlines will read after the Panorama tonight. I wonder the next day after the NATO reception/dinner. There is so much neat, on the bone that is ‘madam%’, her lost years, her connections, behaviours you could cater 100 Royal receptions and still have plenty!!

“ yes , we’re all watching it! It’s very addictive “ ……… “ How the f***did they know that!!!”………… “ I told them Philip!!” ……… “bloody snoops” Royal family discussion night and blog reading time. They get on the topic of the Netflix show, The Crown. It sounds like they are enjoying it and find it addictive even, that’s high praise, l hope Netflix producers read Skippy blog!! PP is wondering how they knew something and HMTQ states unequivocally that she told them! Is she the unwritten/uncredited official Consultant? PP chimes in again, calling the press and it’s investigators bloody snoops.This is a good fun, conversation, not the invasive, boundaries crossed angry time.

At the last count sir , all was Ticketyboo.

LG receiving reports for tomorrow’s NATO events, dinner/reception. Ticket boo, means everything is perfect, just as it was planned to be, no anticipated issue! The capitalization of Ticketyboo, means Ticket, an actual invitation , likely numb and signed with allow entrance to the event. There will be zero gate crashes, if for some reason madam or anyone might try!

1750 hrs CST GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

Thank you dear PG….sounds like so much news coming! Can’t wait….I hardly doubt NetFlix is reading here though….I love your stories! Much appreciated….😊💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Ask Skippy

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132: Dec 3

MM ANON … email shemail ……this hole is getting deeper …… Christmas service treat🦄🦎…… “keep hold!! he’s a runner”…… a welcoming absence …… “ you can leave your scarf at home darling”…… “ Chaz & Don”…… Megan come Beggin…… “hope she stays for New Years”……Emmanuel & Don🎭]……… NATO,HATE-O…… “Philip, You’ll miss the banquet!!” ……… “bloody good!!”………” it’s your night old thing”………” Mmm , Catherine’s Tiara?” ………” Emeralds, would do the trick”……… “Sydney’ strong refreshments!!”…… “the Crown old thing?”

💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻THANK YOU MM ANON🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

December 3/2019 Riddle #130

1110 hrs CST

email shemail

Email has been made public between from PA toGM, with the topic being VRG, asking questions. It kind of confuses him saying he never met her nor knew her, however he may have heard her name. If l am correct the email was sent January 3/2015. 0550 hrs so that’s early, sense of urgency? Or just a disciplined military man who rises early?

this hole is getting deeper

There is a focused multifaceted attack on the BRF! The more information, rather PR/media and interviews come out, instead of letting the legal system address any issues is further poisoning the water! Again, NOT DEFENDING ANYONE, but of all the high placed men WHY IS PA BEING BURNED AT THE STAKE? With high powered wealthy men, why is she so unafraid for her family?? Photos put buying beer and cigs? Who or whom are/is paying from this continued assault on the Monrachy!!??

Christmas service treat🦄🦎”keep hold!! he’s a runner”

Christmas pageant at Battersea, if Nanny Anon, is to be believed it’s tonight, l thought NATO reception was tonight, for weeks l thought it was the 4 th, l honestly cannot keep track. However, they each hVe a role of that l am certain, however Nanny says Charlotte is an angel, with a line to speak and George is rehearsing the role of his future, one of the three kings, NOT of Orient are🤣🤣🤣😂. Louis must a going concern, as we say here, constantly on the move. They best keep him firm in hand or he will do a runner through the audience and steal the show🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂. There would be one shriekingly ticked off Princess if that happened!

a welcoming absence “ you can leave your scarf at home darling”

Madam will not join the family at Sandringham, the first Christmas in two years without her. Catherine joking with William he need not bring his scarf🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂. His passive aggressive, sorry William but it was 🤣🤣😂😂, fiddling with his scarf whilst leaving the chapel on madams first unmarried Christmas , she was trying to engage him but he fiddled with his scarf . This went nuclear all over the internet and social media! I believe there is an actual official listing of the word scarfing!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 Oh man, and l had bought him the loveliest purple scarf, what shall l do with it ?🥺🥺😩😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

“ Chaz & Don”

PC and DT , abbreviated as Chaz for a Charles and Don for Donald, will spend time together today at this evenings reception. I firmly am thinking l was right all along and the banquet is tomorrow. I am sure PC role is expanding they will have plenty to talk about. PC is the consummate host.

Megan come Beggin

Madam begged pleaded shrieked, until she finally got her wish to not be forced anywhere near the person she hates , the President of HER country. MM ANON , l hate to ask, is this a typo, Megan, not Meghan? If it’s not a typo, who is Megan???

“hope she stays for New Years”

This is the general consensus, that madam can stay wherever she is until AFTER New Years.

However, if this is the special friend, this may be leaning in a

positive vibe of hoping she will STAY until the New Years Eve.

Emmanuel & Don🎭]……… NATO,HATE-O

Presidents Emmanuel Macron and Donald Trump have had an extremely dramatic almost theatrical relationship. When they first met, Macron was so huggy , touchy feely, the word bromance was used. They have had some cracks with the U.S. pulling out of the Paris Climate Accord. President Trump has issues regarding NATO, paying funds etc, there is much changing on the worlds stage politically, the U.S./NATO/BREXIT/EU etc etc etc. Not the least of which has been the double barrel attacking of the British Monarchy!

“Philip, You’ll miss the banquet!!” “bloody good!!”” it’s your night old thing”” Mmm , Catherine’s Tiara?” ” Emeralds, would do the trick”

HMTQ and PP conversing, less pressure on the agenda, with the words done by LG and his team, yet he is not up to attending the banquet, plus he has retired from the world stage. Which sounds TRUT H be told, he has had his fill during the many decades attending them!🤣🤣🤣😂😂. Just reassuring her it’s most important that she, HMTQ, is there, she is so amazing as a hostess, she is involved with every little single detail! Well, well, well madams hair will be on fire!! Catherine will be wear the Vladimir Kokoshnik, l think that’s the one, it’s most certainly the one with huge Emeralds,tiara😁😁😁😁. I can hardly wait to see those photos!

“Sydney’ strong refreshments!!”…… “the Crown old thing?”

To end of conversation, the pulled cord, and again, as always, Sydney arrives, smiling, anticipating their request, Boddingtons for Himself and gin and DuBonnet for HMTQ.CHEERS YOUR MAJESTY, SIR!!

1150 hrs CST

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

Thank you PG…interesting stuff today…I can’t wait to see which tiara Kate will wear…could it be that one! Oh my! Much appreciated dear PG!😊💜💜💜💜💜

Ask Skippy submission

—————-

133: DEC 5

MM ANON ……… lovers not-on or emerald??…… Alexander McQueen green machine??……… Clean sweep!!!……………Trump wants his ball back…… Banquetiquette ……… “ One has to watch the hot mike Donald!!”……… Meanwhile’ crying in a corner……” a clash of Wills”……… “come on old thing,tell me all the gossip”………” Sydney ‘ gin and Du……” “ Ones a tad exhausted “…… “ you looked stunning Catherine “……… “yes ‘ I saw your killer 👀side eye “…… 👑👑💕💕And so to bed Zebedee!!……… “ Lottie ‘turn your pad off!!”…George’ sleep!!

💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻THANK YOU MM ANON🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

December. 5/2019 0020 hrs CST

RIDDLE #130

SORRY I AM SO LATE WITH IT, I HAVE NOT FELT WELL SO I WILL GIVE IT A TRY!

lovers not-on or emerald??

I was sooooo certain l had read months ago that December4/2019 there was to be a formal NATO Banquet. Maybe l was wrong , unlikely it was changed. Nonetheless there is a Diplomats Banquet next week, l could be wrong too😏😒😂. Catherine, for a number of such occasions has worn the Lovers Knot Tiara and done so brilliantly, l might add! There has been rampant rumblings of her wearing the Vlad Emerald Tiara!! It’s gorgeous, all those emeralds, imagine with her gorgeous eyes?? 👀 👀 👸🏻 Allegdly(ha ha) a certain someone demanded this for a gathering of very VERY unhappy people! HMTQ ABSOLUTELY PUT HER FOOT DOWN NO!NO! The banshee was heard screaming all the way up in Balmedie!!!🤣🤣🤣😂😂. So l will firmly say, whether it the Diplomats banquet or not, whatever the next black tie/formal event, Catherine will be wearing the Vlad Emerald Tiara!!! No ifs ands or buts!!!

Alexander McQueen green machine??

Did she not look stunning at the reception? Green or any colour she wears so beautifully! Even a red puffer and skinny jeans!! She slays! As the kids say now! The papers should get their designers right, they had it wrong on RS as well, that was a McQueen military inspired gorgeous piece she wore, one paper saint Caroline Walker. No offence but that was not her style. Last night dress was said to be Emilia Wickstead. So is it now McQueen? Either way that was the colour of envy for sure, did she purposely wear it? OF COURSE SHE DID!! I cannot WAIT for the Diplomats banquet or next formal/black tie event. The gown she will wear , and Of COURSE SARAH BURTON, from the House of McQueen, who designed her wedding gown, will have designed it, bespoke to go with the Emerald Tiara! Put your ear plugs in kids, madam will be flying her 🧹 broomstick over London screaming 🙀 at the heavens!!! Jealous much!OH YES JEALOUSY THE GREEN EYED MONSTER HAS BERN OBVIOUS SINCE SHE CAME ONTO THE SCENE!

Clean sweep!!!

This immediately makes thing if curling! Hurry hard! Hurry! Sweep Sweep! If you’re Canadian or Scottish you will be laughing now🤣🤣😂😂. A clean sweep in a game is winning the game with the opposing side having a score of zero, or Ina finals winning the games needed to take the Stanley Cup, example, to win the series. A clean sweep can also, and here l believe is MM ANON meaning, to sweep out the dust, filth, unwanted or unsavoury things when cleaning house. So the cleaning house, clean sweep metaphor may be related to a clash of wills in when to release the hounds on madam and what on earth to do about the VRG issues!!!

Trump wants his ball back. Banquetiquette. “ One has to watch the hot mike Donald!!”

This is a childish reference to PT leaving before the final press conference after our PM, BOJO, Macron and Princess Anne were on ‘ hot mic’ which is the news means you’re microphone isn’t live , that’s how the ABC reporter Amy Robach got caught out saying ABC quashed her interview with VRG years ago. So l guess DT , l have to be very care here to not upset my American friends whilst defending my PM. I will just lay facts no subjective opinion ok? They must be VERY VERY VERY careful what they say, when they say it, because sorry JT but even without the hot mic, with my poor hearing l am used to lip reading and using closed captioning on the tv, l could read your lips! DT was upset, called him two faced. You can all opine about them now.

It was a reception, not a banquet, however etiquette is etiquette and the rules still apply. Good manners, carry oneself well and be above reproach. I am afraid some , have your own opinions ok, but there was some etiquette not taken. See above clue please.

A short time later, DT himself was caught on hot mic, congratulating himself for calling our PM what he called him and for leaving without the last presser, press conferences are called pressers in America. Saying that was funny that he said that name. It happens to everyone, hot mic, in politics or celebrities, they have to be careful unless they just don’t care.

Meanwhile’ crying in a corner

Madam, just go back to your corner, you have misbehaved so much, get used to the corner! Oh she must be spitting bullets of jealousy, if she saw Catherine, just wait till she sees the Christmas photos!😄😄😄😄🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

“a clash of Wills”

William in back, he has proven himself a force of nature in becoming too. Dealing with family issues, is there disagreement regarding PA. There have been calls for him to lose his HRH status , is that on the docket? And great clashing of that? Wills was Diana’s name for William, wills is also ones determination to do or not do something

“come on old thing,tell me all the gossip”………” Sydney ‘ gin and Du……” “ Ones a tad exhausted “

HMTQ and PP again, indulge me, l know he’s at Wood Farm and she’s in London but indulge me, l love this, so do you, and so do some others. HMTQ finally out of her dress clothes, wearing comfortable nightdress, gorgeous purple velvet slippers and completely bespoke housecoat of the finest PUR velvet with silver seaming and luxurious embroidered collar with ER on the breast plate. PP in his nightclothes, grey slippers and matching bespoke grey robe with dark stitching along the seams barely there but if you look closely the beauty of each stitch is breathtaking. THANK YOU MM ANON FOR ADDING THE DRINKS I HAVE BEEN HAND TYPING FOR QUITE SOME TIME NOW!! PP already has his Boddingtons , cord was pulled just as she sat down, Sidney arrives, and PP orders her favourite cocktail, gin and a DuBonnet. She , you know it’s HMTQ when she speaks in third person, l do that a lot too😄😄😄😄😁😁, says she is a tad bit exhausted which means she is more tired than any of us have ever been! She is a force of nature! Majestic, strong, beautiful and tender when the needs be. They proceed to discuss all the goings on, at the reception and there was plenty!

“ you looked stunning Catherine “……… “yes ‘ I saw your killer 👀side eye “…… 👑👑💕💕And so to bed Zebedee!!……… “ Lottie ‘turn your pad off!!”…George’ sleep!!

William has returned from another successful solo Royal tour to the Middle East. I though the photos of him with the fisherman fixing their nets and then him giving it a go was amazing. He really , like his wife, has come into his own. Telling Catherine how stunning she looked last night and teasing her about her side eye, which she does very well! Remember the stolen pencil incident a few weeks ago? Louis long ago asleep, George and Charlotte keen to see daddy, imagine what did you bring me? A million times over and at a maximum volume!😂😂😂🤣🤣Zebedee, Zebedii, that was often what l heard or said for bedtime. A jovial memory of television and a cute sweet way to colour the word bedtime by making it fun because the word kids HATE is bedtime. Then when you reach adulthood and parenthood one prays for bedtime.🤣🤣🤣😂😂 l have never been a parent but l know many, enough to prove that statement!

Charlotte ever the controller of wifi and devices😂😂😂🤣🤣,we have read this in other riddles! Time for bed a George!!

0125 hrs CST

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

Thank you so much, especially doing this when feeling unwell. You are greatly appreciated. The Diplomatic dinner is December 11th. This is sounding good…😊💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Ask Skippy

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134: Dec 5

MM ANON …… “ no, not the service”……… Strip and rip…… IRSt in peace……” I think you’ll find it best ma’am”…… “ exactly ‘ peace and quiet”…… Distant thunder ……… “On Her Majesty’s secret service”…… No!! Not the whole enchilada………… The dossier, almost complete!!…… “Yes!! It certainly is personal”……… “she lived by the sor-did…… “gather thee rosebuds …………”…… “ not a word,old boy”. ……… “ Mmmm, unfortunate name for a club”……… “a sticky wicket,what!

💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻THANK YOU MM ANON🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

December 5/2019 1040 hrs CST

RIDDLE #131

“no, not the service”

Prince Andrew has had virtually everything but his HRH ripped away. Papers saying now this morning that not only Prince Charles dressed him down, but Prince Philip did as well. He may be 98 and retired but a massive alpha male who can throw down with the best of them. Sounding like PA will NOT be permitted to attend church Christmas 🎄 morning as per usual. The Royal family walks and greets the public coming and leaving, HMTQ is driven.

Strip and rip

This sounds like a bikini wax or a back waxing . More like a search for drugs, substances, paraphernalia or weapons at a prison or psychiatric hospital, believe me, l have done many such searches, for those needing hospitalization. This clue could be twofold, firstly, reportedly three blackened windows Discoveries were seen high speed driving near Banbury, a day or so ago, evening l think actually, madam is rumoured to be near at SoHo or perhaps in Banbury, the hometown of a certain sycophantic royal reporter. Me oh my oh!! Has she been taken into custody by the Americans??? Did she fly back with the President?

Secondly this may refer to Prince Andrew, strip and rip him of everything including his HRH. Is that what is being ripped? The public and many are demanding it including his fellow military members! Might l again say, he has NOT BEEN INTERVIEWED NOR CHARGED! Just a fact, l hate sexual abuse and human trafficking it’s loathsome. But there seems to be a direct torpedo, pardon the wordage, directly at him.Why no one else? Whose agenda is this??

IRSt in peace

Madam is in a world/whirled of hurt with the IRS, America’s tax division. I have no idea her last filing, or how accurate she has ever been. Since joining the Royal family, although never really did, she has had a myriad of income sources and likely many we don’t know. Might it be not the literal death of her but in terms of finances, she will be if not already in process,be audited and may be garnisheed for the rest of her life to,pay what is owed?

“I think you’ll find it best ma’am”“ exactly ‘ peace and quiet”

I think LG is suggesting HMTQ head for Sandringham early, to be out of London when the walls come tumbling down so to speak. Peace and quiet, readying for family Christmas, although that too brings its own pains!

Distant thunder

Softly rolling distant, quiet, getting closer, more loud, and BABOOM CRASH!! The storm that has been brewing and slowly simmering in the background is coming, coming closer, when it arrives,it will be ELECTRIC!! The information and scandal will rock the globe. I am not just talking about when all about madam is revealed but her backers and their sordid dealings! BOOM CRASH FLASH! Winds howling! It’s going to be earth shattering.

“On Her Majesty’s secret service”

We have had several Bond references. This was the only Bond film that a George Lazenby ever starred in, did you know that? Connery or Moore?? The other actors don’t count! CONNERY LASS AM I , AYE TIS SO💜💜💜💜. I do believe our William has been on the intelligence gathering and l do wonder about our Harry. You kids remember me repeatedly talking about his wedding ring months and months ago and saying it’s no regular ring?Sure you do, one of you went hunting and posted a picture of a ring with GPS chip! It’s very unusual in the U.K. especially royalty, in my experience , for men to wear wedding bands yet Harry insisted, ask yourself why? Why? Why? By the way, great film, and great documentary l have pvr’ed , The Secrets of Her Majesty’s Secret Service. It was on PBS last week, an anon posted about it, so l pvr’ed it!

No!! Not the whole enchilada

So again, the whole enchilada is a metaphor for the entire sum of something, usually valuable. What and whom is this referencing? Again, is it PA, losing more? I doubt that, the phrase the whole enchilada , that is not a British expression it’s American. This must be regarding madam. Meaning, she has to give up everything, her HRH, every merching etc etc. She’s upset about it. What, to stay out of prison? Testify against someone? Tell the whole truth and nothing but? This woman cannot even spell truth. There are so many lies over so many decades allegedly, there is no way she knows who she was with when doing what.

The dossier, almost complete!!

Information is almost done, evidence, witnesses, intelligence, video, audio, photos, texts, emails, carrier pigeons and any other sort of stealth data to solidify alleged treason charges along with a boatload of other financial and Heaven only knows what from the past has raised its filth from the depth of those lost years! All the i dotted t crossed, airtight.

“Yes!! It certainly is personal”

Very personal, this attack was planned, guided, paid for, well planned, multipronged, family paid off, witnesses paid off or worse etc etc allegedly. So yeah it’s personal to HMTQ,PP, PC and PW.An attack on the thing HMTQ has spent her life serving! The very monarchy! Sordid plot to crumble the Monarchy! So hell yes ITS PERSONAL!!! To our a Royal family and TO ALL OF US!!

“she lived by the sor-did

Old saying live by the sword ⚔️, you die by the sword, you all know that one. Madam has allegedly lived a very sordid, deviant lifestyle for money and luxuries. This will be her downfall, any previous association with JE, l can only imagine what her role was and then became. This whole sick, satanic, house of cards is crumbling, the cockroaches are running for cover. Does she think the backers are going to pay for her attorneys or testify on her behalf? ���😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣 She is crazier than l thought! ALLEGEDLY!

“gather thee rosebuds…

While ye may, love this .This beautiful piece of magic written by Robert Herrick hundreds of years ago but relevant now as then. Speaking how quickly time flies, make the most of each second, do not waste time on frivolous things or unsavoury things. Sadly, many lost souls here, and damaged ones, so evil. However we have HMTQ, PC , William and Catherine, the Monarchy, with them at the helm, is resilient, will cut the extras and forge a new Monarchy.

“ not a word,old boy”.

Someone is keeping schtum about something. I imagine there are many, likely most of the details will remain classified. The five eyes met at the NATO conference. I truly do wonder, although l love my little life, what intelligence was shared! PP likely speaking with Netty, and keeping things classified, most probably about when they plan to break and let loose! We all know who Netty is right? I have explained it in a few riddles!

“ Mmmm, unfortunate name for a club”

Tramp nightclub, the source of many stories VRG and PA. PA also was there many times with Fergie and that’s where he met Koo Stark way back when for those of us at a certain age! Horrible just horrible name for a club!

“a sticky wicket,what!

This is a croquet term, hitting the balls through the wickets. It’s also a cricket term! Jiminy 🦗 Crickets, that’s my new favourite saying😁. A sticky wicket in life refers to awkward, difficult, unexpectedly challenging time. Well doesn’t that just describe the last two years!! OR MORE! What detail is sticky still? Something needing sorting. I just cannot fathom what it is! But it’s important because it’s in the riddle!

1155 hrs CST GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

Oh my! Not sounding good for MM! We are getting there it seems! Fantastic job dear PG! Thank you so much!🙏🏻💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Ask Skippy

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135: Dec 6

MM ANON …… megbots in crisis …… megs spotted on ISS…… megs searchers internet for archificial upgrade …… megs still breastfeeding …… frogcott staff witness meg and Harry in screaming row 😱……… meg accused of bugging KP……… meg and archbishop in risqué photo shoot …… Archbishop denies clergy gossip …… meg ,VF interview ‘ I hate my chicken legs ‘…… Harry in GQ interview, I want a divorce ‘…… GQ, shock ‘horror, Harry’s OK’…… meg pens, ‘confessions of my yachting years’. … $20 million advance.

💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻THANK YOU MM ANON🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

December 6/2019 1150 hrs CST

Thanks to the wonderful 💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻fortheheavenssake 🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜who is documenting all my riddle interpretations, l apparently have used two numbers twice🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂 so this is RIDDLE #135

💜💜MM ANON LISTEN, AS YOU ONCE SAID, NO APOLOGIES EVER!!!💜💜LEVITY IS NEEDED🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

megbots in crisis

Madam has had zillions of ‘bots’ online to bolster or artificially , not archficially🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂, boost her numbers and popularity on social media and PR. The well is running dry,no new storyline , last uncle pulled out of the woodwork weeks ago, bots, they cost $$$$$#£££££££€€€€€, she is in serious overload and underfunded. The bots are sputtering, spinning, electrical charges sparking, powering down, all the things 🤖 robots do when system failure, permanent fatal error blue screen, does not cooommmmmppppuuuutttteee………….

megs spotted on ISS

Oh now she’s an astronaut??? Really on the International Space Station??🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂. Yes, like l said last week Sasquatch and Elvis hang out in my back yard! Has she gone there to get another moonbump direct from the source??🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

megs searchers internet for archificial upgrade

Oh my Jiminy Crickets!!🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂, l just typed that! Well not the internet part. Yes at some point she’s going to have to show a child, growing bigger, however Archficial was already a big boy, they used to call them huggy l think. She is madly trying to find the cheapest price for the new model of archficial. Maybe retailmenot or some other sites like Rakuten has coupon codes!!

megs still breastfeeding

Is she now? Is she a card carrying member of the La Leche League? Breastfeeding until the child is 18 or wed! Yes, it’s a great excuse for privacy, because despite what her PR says, she definitely wants privacy, no pictures, no one talking about or to her, yet yammers because no one asks if she is ok! Pathetic instagram post, photoshopped photos, one year anniversary of Hubb kitchen visit. Talk about grasping at straws for attention, and using year old photoshopped photos😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😩😩

frogcott staff witness meg and Harry in screaming row 😱

I do believe this was/is a story in one of the American gossip rags, could be wrong but everyone reads here so look for that headline next week if you’re into tabloids😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣.Interesting, there are no staff at FC, because NO ONE LIVES THERE! Perhaps an old spirit, but they take care of themselves! They have never lived there, every celebrity or article about who has visited there and held/fed/played with archficial are all liars, allegedly.

meg accused of bugging KP

Not surprised at that, taking a page right out of MA’s playbook at SoHo. Secretly record, gather intel, blackmail=$$$$$$$$€€€€€€€£££££. I wonder what secrets she gathered! Add that to the charges, LG and Netty, Sirs! Please! Allegedly! 🙄🙄

meg and archbishop in risqué photo shoot

There has been something odd about everything madam does/has done. One of the most bizarre is Justin Welby, the A of C, he allegedly privately baptized her. He allegedly christened archficial, with one wee issue, he was hours from London at that time at a Church conference. Now he has come out defending her. So there is no confusion these are his exact words.

💜💜Justin Welby, the Archbishop of Canterbury, defended the Duchess of Sussex against what he called the “totally undeserved” criticism she has received.

“She’s a person of profound humanity and deep concern for people, seeking to carry out her role with every ounce of her being, and I think she’s a remarkable person💜💜.

What’s gone on here? Are you suggesting she has something on him so he has done these things under blackmail allegedly. Not a thing in this mess would surprise me one wit!

Archbishop denies clergy gossip

Parishioners talk, clergy members talk, they’re human, when things don’t add up, it makes for lots of speculation and questioning. Is the A of C denying that other bishops or members of the clergy have been speculating and questioning some of the issue l typed above? This is all too weird. If we had a whole wall with every single odd event, altered facts, stories comments etc etc, it would be like string art we used to do way back when. Better still twist like Christmas lights, and trying to figure out which bulb is causing the whole string to not light up. I know most of you remember that, the good old days before prelit trees in weird colours that make noises and flash so rapidly you get a migraine. Jiminy Crickets, l sound like one of those two grumpy men in the balcony on the Muppets Show😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣.

meg ,VF interview ‘ I hate my chicken legs

Harry in GQ interview, I want a divorce ‘GQ, shock ‘horror, Harry’s OK’

Madam did the VF, wild about Harry, was all PR lies! I think in terms of madams legs millions would agree! Now now, is this how this is going to roll? Tit for tat, pun intended🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂, is Harry doing a GQ cover giving her the same treatment by shockingly wanting a divorce?? Oh please 🙄 JIMINY CRICKETS 🦗 l want ten copies!!!💜💜💜Please sir, l want some more! The first person who comments where that line is from gets a smile from me😁. 💜💜💜Imagine the worlds shock?! Oh MM ANON DON’T TEASE ME!🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 LG your brilliance is only surpassed by your loyalty and dedication to HMTQ Tip hat 🎩 Sir!

meg pens, ‘confessions of my yachting years $20 million advance.

During the weekend when madam went to help her Bestie SW completely lose the U.S.Open, they didn’t want her there, she went anyhow, didn’t she do a great job? Flirting grossly with SW husband, ignored by SW’s mum and graciously using the ‘Markle effect’ and SW lost soundly! She was summoned there, post haste allegedly to meet with backers and take a meeting with publishers. There have been rumblings and rumours of a book. Good luck fact checking that one, the poor ghost writer and editor🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂. I think she will have to forget a lot because the IRS apparently doesn’t like it if you do not declare income or not be truthful, allegedly. And also, law enforcement may have issues with some behaviours, in relation to those missing years. And a wee tiny issue of archficial fauxmegnancy, not of the body. Trying to pass off a surrogate baby, not Harry’s child, all allegedly of course! As a blood royal baby!! Just a minor treason charge. Then there is the SoHo issue…….bugging, recordings, blackmail, all from the plot of a juicy film! As far as a $20,000,000 advance, if that happens, l will eat my hat! I don’t have one, got toques, might have to eat one then!! Who in their right mind would give her that cash advance? Unless it was not the right but the left, the leftists globalists backers….yep that l can see!!! Help us oh Lord🙏🏻🙏🏻 please, the light needs to be shone on the horrors that have been happening. Our beloved HMTQ, it just is breaking my heart, she is so beloved.

1250 hrs CST

💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻THANK YOU MM ANON, I HAD A FABULOUS FUN TIME DOING THIS!!🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

What fun! Loved this. Thank you MM Anon for the humorous riddle and PG your great interpretation! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Ask Skippy submission

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136: Dec 6

MM ANON …… Muffin the mule…… looby loo & Andy pandy …… 95 , time!!…… “no’ not chaz”’……… “ I’m Meghan Markle and I indorse this massage” ……” An American Christmas card”…… betrayal in B&W……… “ it’s HMTQ your talking about!!!”…… “ tell her to PO ‘ it’s the Boxing Day shoot”……… 🎼I’m dreaming of a right Christmas 🎼…… a shortie but goody

💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻THANK YOU YET AGAIN MM ANON🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜

December 6/2019 1530 hrs CST RIDDLE #136

Muffin the mule

Muffin has a naughty meaning as well as the breakfast bit. Mule is a very stubborn animals or someone carrying something illegal across borders as in a drug mule. First thing l thought of was a Moscow mule, classic lovely drink. There was an article in the DM about madams Christmas decor ideas and menu, the Moscow mule in copper was her idea!🤣🤣🤣😂 Well, l can’t drink anymore, but to me l would have one anytime but they and the copper was all the rage about five years ago, so she seems to be a wee bit behind the trend! However in fairness, it was taken from the 2015 Tig.

looby loo & Andy pandy

I read in the DM and saw photos years ago, Prince Andrew dancing up a storm, with a Heidi Klum, didn’t look like her but she was in a wig, costume. Also another female. Apparently he liked to be massaged by two women simultaneously, not underage, or rude, fun. The loony loo is known here as the hokey pokey, a hand , leg, body action dance. Is this having a go at PA ‘skills’ on the dance floor?? The hokey pokey also has a naughty meaning too.

95 , time!! “no’ not chaz”

HMTQ will be 95 in 18 months. Double exclamation mark, someone or several are firm in her making PC Regent at that time! It sounds like a firm opinion that PC is not the choice for Regent. Might William be tapped to step up and put a whole new modern face on the Monarchy? My goodness, to quote London Scoop, up is down, down is up, the world is spinning too fast!! The winds of change are gusting stronger and stronger!

“ I’m Meghan Markle and I indorse this massage”

Ha ha. Is she doing adverts now for special yacht massages.🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂 Oh dear imagine the oils and other items she would smear around!!! 😫😫😫😩😩😩🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢Just imagine the worst grossest thing you can muster!! Is she going into politics or has she massaged major politicians???? The end of every tv ad during election, l am so and so and l endorse this message. Yikes, crazy world!

“ An American Christmas card”betrayal in B&W

Of course the Christmas card will be in black and white, what else do we expect from madam? Likely have her back turned as well. Will Archficial be backwards too? Ultimate betrayal of wedding vows, to the public. A child not Harry’s, and not of her body! Will this be released and dealt with before Christmas? I pray so🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

“ it’s HMTQ your talking about!!!”…… “ tell her to PO ‘ it’s the Boxing Day shoot”

PP is angry and someone has been disrespectfully talking about HMTQ, PP is soundly bringing them about. PP is laying it down, madam has no input in the shooting day, she’s to be told to PO! PP talking to Harry, l am confused about why Harry would be still bring requests or demands from madam. I am wondering if it’s LG, because l am pretty certain Harry is far away from her and no interaction. It’s about Christmas, Sandringham and the annual family Boxing Day shooting party. Madam has been aggressively against it, allegedly previous years. So is madam still in a position to make demands? Well it sounds like she will be told what’s what!

🎼I’m dreaming of a right Christmas 🎼

I watched the film White Christmas last night, gorgeous songs by a Irving a Berlin, fabulous, again movies when they were movies! I am thinking the wish is that Jeremy Corbyn loses and BoJo, the conservatives, oft referred to as the right. Corbyn is leaning left strongly and much upset about alleged anti-Semitic beliefs. I think all this crap with madam has to wait till after the election, December 12/2019.

a shortie but goody

Is this little Louis? He is toddling around, l recall the summer videos at the park garden Catherine designed, him running in the bridge arms wide to balance. I can hardly wait for the Christmas photos! I can only imagine running round now, he will be into anything and everything!Bless him🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻 l am exhausted, haven’t slept since Thursday morning. Two riddles, other posts sheesh JIMINY CRICKETS 🦗 I AM DONE💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜

1605 hrs CST

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

Thank you PG…two in a day! MM Anon must know you love a great challenge….thank you for doing this…😊💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Ask Skippy submission

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[condensed-theorem-shop]

Axes of attraction

I see people talking a lot about the various varieties/axes of attraction -- e.g. sexual, romantic, platonic, etc. -- but I’ve never seen anyone break it down quite the same way I do in my head. So here’s me talking about that, for those who are interested in such things.

I experience relationships with people as having four basic dimensions, which for my own reference I call like, love, lust, and crush. Each of these varies (temporally and by person) on what can be arbitrarily mapped to a 1-10 scale. And, at least for me, the four axes can vary independently; there are definite correlations, but for any particular coordinate set, I’m perfectly capable of experiencing that array of feelings for someone.

1. Like

Like is straightforward friendship: how much I enjoy someone’s company, how well we get along, how close we are.

I can like a lot of people: friends, family members, boyfriends, professors, casual acquaintances. When I like someone, I want to spend time with them because it’s fun, I’m happy to run into them at the grocery store, I have pleasant conversations with them.

People for whom I have a high like value and low-or-zero values on the other axes tend to be casual friends, people I hang out with at activities and look forward to seeing but have no particular desire to share deep secrets with or make out with.

How much I like a person tends to be pretty temporally steady; it moves upward during the getting-to-know-you period, and might shift downward slowly if our interests change, or quickly if they say something really mean.

2. Love

Love is intended to refer to platonic-style love, though it also refers to a feeling one presumably hopes to have with a spouse or other serious partner. It’s caring deeply about someone, suffering when they suffer, having them be an important part of you and your life. Sometimes I characterize it as: when you like someone, your day is better because you see them; when you love someone, the world is better because they exist.

I love a relatively small number of people, because it requires a level of closeness, and integration into my personal identity, that places sharp limits on how many people it’s possible to love. When I love someone, I don’t necessarily feel the need to see them all that often, but I care a great deal about how they are doing, even when that doesn’t have any real impact on me.

People for whom I have a high love value and low-or-zero values on the other axes tend to be family members; usually if I have a low like for someone, I’m not going to stick around long enough to build love, but if they’re family I’m much more likely to. There are definitely family members whom I love very deeply, who just have personalities that clash with mine and so I don’t like all that much.

Love takes a long time to build up; the minimum for me seems to be about a year of knowing the other person, and that’s with seeing them for multiple hours several times a week. It really doesn’t seem to go down more than marginally, though, once it exists, no matter what; I can’t think of an instance where I’ve stopped loving someone.

3. Lust

Lust is sexual attraction, plain and simple. (This isn’t the same as aesthetic appreciation, which doesn’t make it as one of my primary axes; I can go “that person is pretty” without being attracted to them, and vice versa.) Lust represents looking at someone and thinking it would be nice to make-out-or-more with them (though not necessarily having any particular plan or urge to act on that). It’s the sexual analogue of looking at a slice of chocolate cake and going “mmm”; if the cake is someone else’s, or you’re really full, or you’re on a diet, you might not particularly want to take it, but the cake still looks like it would be nice to eat.

As far as I can tell, I only experience lust towards male people (and sometimes nonbinary folks); this is the only axis which has any kind of interaction with gender. Also, whatever runs the lust-toggle in my brain is weirdly good at gender identity; I have on a handful of occasions thought I’d identified an exception to the only-feel-lust-towards-guys rule ... until the person in question came out as male or NB. (And the first time this happened was before I was aware that trans people existed. I have no good explanation for this.)

People for whom I have a high lust value and low-or-zero values on the other axes are pretty common; lust is definitely the most weakly linked to the other axes, pretty clearly just because it has less connection to people’s personalities. Easy examples of the just-lust case are hot celebrities, or the ridiculously cute guy in my freshman class who I spoke to like twice. 

Lust fluctuates a fair amount, for me. Some of that is random day-to-day variation, on a level similar to “what food sounds appetizing right now?” It’s also not particularly uncommon for me to initially feel little-to-no lust towards someone, and then have it increase dramatically once I get to know them. The reverse also happens, where I feel lust for someone until I get to know them. And sometimes I just wake up randomly attracted to someone to whom I hadn’t previously been. Brains are weird.

4. Crush

Crush is in a lot of ways both the hardest-to-characterize and the least important of the axes; it’s definitely a thing-my-brain-does, though. Crush of course refers to “having a crush” on someone, but it’s hard to describe what exactly that means. I like Ozy’s characterization of having a crush on someone as “being in the fandom of a person.”

When I have a crush on someone, my brain has a tendency to fixate on them. I binge-read their social media and memorize trivia about them. I spend excessive amounts of time staring at photos of them and involuntarily grinning like an idiot. I have trouble holding intelligent conversations with them because I’m internally going eeeeeee and bouncing up and down and hiding under a pillow.

I seem to acquire crushes at near-random. I’ll wake up one morning and be very excited about a particular person, the same way I might wake up and be very excited about a project or book. They tend to linger for about a month to a year and then fade out.

I don’t exclusively get crushes on people I have lust for, or even exclusively on men, though I do so somewhat more frequently on both. If I crush on someone I do lust after, the lust gets turned up to eleven (and goes back to its previous level once the crush fades); if I didn’t feel any pre-crush lust for them, then the crush will sometimes come with it -- but only if they’re a guy, and not always then. Crushes also increase liking somewhat, but not arbitrarily so; liking is too closely pegged to objective facts about how well our personalities mesh.

This definition of crush includes things I wouldn’t generally refer to as “crushes” (I’d expect it to confuse people) but which are definitely the same phenomenon from the inside. I can have a crush on a friend or a teacher and make high-pitched noises about them and feel like they’re the Coolest Person Ever but have absolutely zero desire to do anything remotely romantic or sexual with them. The “I WANT TO HAVE SLEEPOVERS WITH YOU AND BRAID YOUR HAIR AND OMG NOTICE ME PLEASE” of a crush is definitely separate from lust, though they can also definitely co-occur.

From this model -- which is the best I’ve got for how my internal functioning actually works -- some things are pretty easy to translate to standard terminology. For instance, I’m very clearly heterosexual: I feel lust exclusively towards men (and some NB people; but to my understanding that’s overwhelmingly common among people-whom-it-clearly-makes-sense-to-call-straight). And I’m clearly not demisexual; I can feel lust towards people without feeling like or love. Other normal terms map in very poorly. In particular, I’m thinking of “romantic attraction” (as in heteroromantic, homoromantic, biromantic, aromantic, etc etc). As far as I can tell, that doesn’t really correspond to anything I experience. Crush is maybe the closest, but I’ve definitely had crushes on people I wouldn’t describe myself as feeling the least bit romantically towards. And the extreme instability of crushes corresponds to some things other people describe -- “new relationship energy,” the “honeymoon period” -- but other people don’t seem to find that to characterize romantic attraction in general. But neither does it make any sense to characterize me as aromantic. That is definitely not a thing I am. I want to go out on dates with people, I want to get married someday, I at least occasionally fantasize about the vast majority of the romantic stuff girls are stereotyped as fantasizing about. As far as I can tell, my brain just doesn’t have a “romance stuff” category. So I might think that “long walks on the beach” and “cuddling while gazing into each other’s eyes” and “writing anonymous sonnets” all sound like appealing ideas, but they don’t fall into a natural category, and there isn’t a “romance” desire I have that would be satisfied to some degree by each of those. Instead, “long walks on the beach” sounds nice with someone I like, and cuddling sounds nice with someone I like or love or both, and sonnets sound nice for someone I feel love or crush for, and lust would be a bonus in any of those cases. It doesn’t help to try to make a category out of “people I would want to date/marry,” either. Whether I’d want to date someone is a straightforward function of like and lust (plus logistical factors); it means spending a lot of time with them, which is great if I like them a lot, and potentially getting to make out with them, which is great if I lust for them a lot. Marriage is the same plus love as a factor for “do I really want to spend the rest of my life with them.” (Crush doesn’t really get a vote in either case, because it’s so ephemeral.)

The whole “obligatorily/preferentially polygamous/monogamous” category system doesn’t work well for me either, for more or less the same reason. Jealousy isn’t particularly something I experience along any of the axes (or when I do, it’s of the “you’re displacing me with them” or “you’re sharing our special thing with them” variety, not the “you like them at all” sort), so that’s not a compelling factor. If there were absolutely no social conventions or other considerations to take into account, I think I would probably end up functionally-poly; I’d want to find life partners whom I liked and loved, and close friends similarly, and then do sex things with whatever subset of them and of other people based on lust. Given that social pressures do exist, though, I’m just as happy to be functionally-monogamous. Restricting sexual activities to one person isn’t a particular hardship, and I can still have close friends, and the things which are strictly romance-coded are few and weird enough that I don’t mind only doing them with one person.  I’d be unhappy if “having long enthusiastic arguments” were a romance thing such that I could only do it with one person, but it’s genuinely hard to come up with examples of things that are romance but not sex. Cuddling/holding hands, maybe, but I’m just a very huggy person in general, I basically want to cuddle with everyone, anyone I end up in a monogamous relationship with is going to have to not see that as a romantic thing. (Which it’s not!)

I think the basic problem here is that I genuinely cannot construct two different relationships I could have, such that one is “very close platonic” and one is “romantic but not sexual.” Both are high like/love, low lust, and as far as my brain’s concerned that’s essentially a complete description. Other people’s brains seem to distinguish between these two things; mine really don’t. (Similarly, “friends with benefits” doesn’t really make sense to my brain either.)

Certainly you could deliberately set out to make a relationship read as romantic: have candlelight dinners, dress up when you’re going to see each other, compliment each other’s appearance a lot, have one person pay for food and open doors and pull out chairs, and so on. And you could similarly avoid doing those things. But that all just seems very silly, like putting on a play.

It’s like if there were “purple” relationships, in which you were supposed to wear a purple shirt when you saw the other person and not say words to them that started with X. I own purple shirts and want to wear them, and like using words that start with X occasionally, but I don’t have any particular drive to go around having “purple” relationships with people; and to the degree I might want not to have “purple” relationships, it’s because the requirements might be mildly inconvenient to follow, not because they have any special significance to me.

[ewritesthangs]

Sass Master

Author’s Note:: Changed the show because I do not know anything about the xfactor.

Anonymous said:

Can you do a grant gustin imagine we’re the reader is a judge on xfactor as well as grants celebrity crush. He brings the flash cast to an audition to watch and he’s surprised about how sassy she is and afterwards he and the cast meet her then they ends up dating

Grant’s POV

Today I decided to take the cast of The Flash to see the America’s Got Talent. I mainly wanted to see my celebrity crush, Y/N Y/L/N. She is so sassy, a nerd like me, a beautiful woman, creative, inspirational. Who wouldn’t love Y/N? I was so excited to go and see the show. I was buzzing and about ready to jump out of the car. If only I really was the Flash, I would already be there. (Like my joke?)

“Grant, man why are you shaking so much?” Carlos asked, because I was shaking my legs.

“Just excited to uh see the talent.” I say, and he sees right through my lie. Granted (HAHA) I was excited to see the talent, but I was more excited to see Y/N in action. I was in the car with Carlos, Danielle, and Tom Felton. Tom Cavanagh was going to meet us there.

“Mate, you want to see Y/N. We know you.” Tom said to me, chuckling because of the blush that had formed on my face.

“So what? Don’t tease me.” They all laugh.

“It’s in the guidelines. We must poke fun. But she is beautiful. I will say.” Danielle says, pulling into the venue parking area. I about jumped out of the car when we parked. We all walk inside, I want to scream with excitement. We go to our seat, which happen to be kind of behind the judging table. Perfect, I can look at Y/N. We were a little early. We had to be to get our seats. Y/N was walking around checking to make sure everything was okay. I overheard her.

“Now you are sure nothing will break or come tumbling down? I don’t want our guests to get hurt. I had that happen once on a different show.” The guy she was talking to nodded and told her something that I could not hear as well. She is so caring. She sees us and waves. OMG OMG OMG. I wave back quite enthusiastically. She giggles and walks back stage.

“If she didn’t know she was your celebrity crush, she sure does now.” Cavanagh said, laughing behind me.

“Oh shut up! I can’t help it.” I pout.

It was time for the judges to come out now. First Howie comes out, Mel B, Y/N, then Simon.

“New year, new talent! New judge as well. Welcome Y/N!” Howie said into the microphone.

“Thank you, Howie. I am so glad to be here with the people I look up to. I am so excited to see the talent that is in America! How about you guys? Are you ready?!” She asks the crowd. We all cheer. There were many acts. One guy was a contortionist.

“Oh. My. God. What did I just watch?” Y/N asked to no one.

“I don’t know but that was disgusting but in a good way.” Mel B said.

“I just- how can you maneuver your body into all of those positions? I can barely do a split.” Y/N said. She was pretty funny.

“I can do a split.” Howie said.

“More like split the decisions Howie. You can’t do a split.”

“I can to!”

“No fighting with me Howie.”

Howie pouts but then they vote. He got through. Then this guy comes on, he is a comedian. He was saying some great stuff. Had Y/N laughing so hard she was actually crying. I was too.

“You remind me of me when I was your age.” Howie said, about to say something else but Y/N mumbled.

“When the dinosaurs roamed the Earth?”

“I am not that old. As I was saying. You were nervous but when you started, you got the groove and you were a natural.”

“I loved it, I was crying because I was laughing so hard. Howie can’t do that yet. You’ve got some great talent.” Y/N says making the crowd laugh and the comedian laugh. He was voted through. The show was over then. Y/N went around and got some pictures with some of her fans, then she came up to me and the cast.

“Hey, you guys are on the Flash right? I am a very big fan of the show. Would you guys like to come back stage with me?” She asks, I way too quickly said yes. Before she even got the rest of the question out. She chuckles and rubs my arm. We follow her backstage. She offers us refreshments and then she pulls me aside.

“A little birdy told me that you have a crush on someone at the judges table.” I look at her surprised, my cheeks growing red like a tomato. “Felton is a good friend of mine.” She chuckles and places her hand on my arm. It is so warm and it feels like it should be on me at all times. Whoa Gustin, way to be weird.

“She may like you too.” Mel B says, walking past us.

“MEL! I was gonna give him some suspense, make him sweat it. You are no fun!” Y/N retorts, causing me to laugh.

“That is nice to know. Very nice to know the feelings are mutual. Would she like to go on a date with me?” I ask.

“I will have to think about that.” She ponders the thought. “Only if! You give me a kiss on the cheek. And a hug. No fancy restaurant.”

“Hmmm I think I can do that.” I lean and kiss her cheek then hug her. Her arms go up around my neck and it is so nice. So perfect. She smells sweet too. Grant, stop being weird. I pull back and look into her eyes. She grabs her phone from her uh chest and hands it to me.

“I will need those digits.” She says, causing me to laugh again. I put my number in her phone and take a picture on her phone of us. She had a beautiful smile. I take one on my phone where we were doing silly faces. Still beautiful.

[gxtsmxt-blog]

I love you bitch I ain't ever gonna stop loving you..... bitch (the guy from that vine is legit me rn you have my whole body trembling with your fics , god bless you girl I though my pussy had died but all I know now is that i needed to read some of your fantastic legendary writing) ps I love you sm

FHAIUKGASJG ily too yOU LOVABLE CUMQUAT

Anonymous said:

YOUR ARE SO FREAKING CREATIVE BITCH IM SHOOOK AF OMGGGG

omg tysm!!!!!!! u guys are too sweet

Anonymous said:

If you get really famous (no doubt you will cause your writing is phenomenal) please don’t be one of those writers who leave and delete their works it legit makes me so upset and I would die if you ever done it :(!!!

babes!!!!! dont worry!!!!!!! u guys are so nice to me that the only way u can vote me off this island is if i literally DIED but even then my fics would stay up :-) thats so nice of you to say though!!!!!!! ur so sweet

Anonymous said:

have you posted call of the Wild yet?

not quite yet :-) im halfway done with the tnatp drabble which is probably going to be 4.000 words or less??? and after that i can start outlining n writing that

Anonymous said:

Tbh ur writing is amazing. Ur the first writer to make me physically laugh out loud while reading a fic. On top of that I was giggling so uncontrollably I had to stop reading cuz my fam was like “wtf are u lookin at rn” ur humour is just wonderful ty

im so happy to hear that u guys think my stuff is funny!!!!!!! cotw isnt going to be as funny as walmas because theres going to be a lot of angst but i definitely am going to have more fics w the same amount of humor :-)

jengkirk99 said:

Like when a ladybug meets a spider is the best story i have read this year!! I like am wishing so hard for it do be made a chaptered story and not just a oneshot because that i gold I say you PURE GOLD!!!

omg thats so nice of you to say!!!!!!! i would love to write a chaptered story but i feel like most of the conflict already happened w walmas so for now, its probably going to remain a oneshot. but my mind might change later on???

elphex said:

Hi! I just wanted to say Your Namjoon Drabble is so adorable!!☺️😍I’ve been stressing a lot lately and this really made my day and I’m really looking forward to your up coming posts!!! (>❤️3❤️)>

:-))))) im so happy to hear this because most of my asks have been about tnatp and walmas!!!!!! im really glad that it made ur day n u enjoyed it!!!!!!!!

[adambstingus]

‘Are You The One?’ Recap: Malcolm, Go Back To Your Home On Whore Island

The worst/best show on television is back and lucky for you, the worst/best recapper you know is back too. You’re welcome.

TBH I was heavily considering not recapping this show because I was thinking about living my life and stuff, but then I saw this shit show of a cast (and also how bad the Bachelor is) and I just knew in the dark pits of my soul that I couldn’t let this show go.

LET’S BEGIN NOW

First major change—they are in New Orleans now. Probably a good thing. They weren’t getting too much variety in the Dominican Republic. You can only play with monkeys so many times until you’re like “so, where are the buildings with electricity?”

Also, Terrence J is the new host. RIP to the best father figure most of the contestants ever had, Ryan Devlin.

Let’s review some of the dumb things we learned/that were said during introductions to everyone:

TYLER: “I told her that I was okay with her hooking up with another guy and I wasn’t!” Cool story, Hansel.

UCHE: “I’m with all these guys I’m not supposed to be with! Football players, rappers, all the cool guys.” That’s a weird way of saying you’re a fuckin’ loser.

KEYANA: “I want to be everywhere with my boyfriend. I want to wear a vile of his blood around my neck and drink from it from time to time. What.” (paraphrase)

JOE’S MOM: “My son brings home idiots, which is amazing because he sells pot for a living and it shocks me that Harvard grads aren’t lining up to date him.”

NICOLE: “I’m trapped in this hookup culture!!!” She acts like she’s been kidnapped in a third world country rather than being asked for dick pics.

KAREEM: “Where I’m from, don’t nobody ever touch a million dollars.” Yeah, they clearly don’t read books or attend basic English classes either.

MICHAEL: “I get like 25-50 DM’s from girls a day wanting to date me. None of them speak English though, so lo siento bitches, no dates for you.” Also, Mike, they are all probs like 14. Judging from the acne on your face, you probably are too.

FIRST CHALLENGE

Terrence J shows the girls something the boys find important and the girls have to raise their hands if it’s important to them too. Moderate Instagram fame has to be on this list.

First is football. Audrey raises her hand and she’s like “Why do I like football? Why do I not like football?! I love football!!!”

AUDREY DURING FOOTBALL GAMES: 


Football was Malcolm’s pick and he’s like “I love football because that’s the only reason my dad loves me” and the girls are all like “AW THAT’S SO SWEET!” Nothing moisturizes the kitty like deep-rooted familial issues, amirite.

Next is the piano, and Keyana is like “I like music!” while the rest of the girls apparently prefer silence? Her match is Ethan, the guy who looks like Rob Dyrdek if he ate Rob Dyrdek. He’s very excited to go on his first date ever and is just itching to call his mom and tell her all about it.

Turns out he’s a rapper. Fuck. There is always one “rapper” every season and they are almost always bordering on albino.

ETHAN: “E-Money gets the girls, but Ethan doesn’t.” How many of you are there?

REAL PICTURE OF ETHAN:

Next picture is some religious stuff and the girls are like “I only go down on my knees for one thing, and it ain’t our lord and savior.” Too bad—it was Clinton’s pick and he’s a fine-ass mother fucker. Jesus wept making that fine specimen and that should tell you something, since I’m a Jew.

Next picture is a condom and Jada is like “HEEEEEEEEEEY.”

JADA’S ROLE ON THIS SHOW:

Chad is the one that picked a condom and he’s like “yeah, I like sex, so what?” Chad reminds me of the guy you tell your sorority little to avoid at frat parties.

CHAD: “Look at me, I’m the Chad!” I’M SORRY, unless you are Tom Green yelling to Drew Barrymore from a boat, you are not the fuckin’ Chad!!! Wait, is his name Shad? THAT IS EVEN WORSE.

Anyways, all the couples are going on a date. Thrilling.

ON TO THE HOUSE

Of course it’s time for shots and more introductions.

ZOE: “Guys don’t like me, they just want to wear my thighs as earmuffs.” Oddly specific but ok.

JOE: “I was raised a Jehovah’s Witness and so far the only thing I have ever witnessed is me still being a virgin”

Joe’s going to be that castmate that I can’t tell is hot. He always looks like he is squinting into the sun but I would def let him in if he came knocking on my door wanting to sell a bible.

Keyana immediately tells Michael that she follows him on Instagram and he’s like “very cool, do you speak English?” Also, Keyana do you need to refill your shitty beer? Because you look fucking THIRSTY.

Ethan is already hating himself and saying that he’s going to sit in a corner all season and now I’m just upset. No one puts Ethan in a corner!

KEYANA: So you wear a shoe on each foot?


MIKE: Yeah


KEYANA: omg so do I. Let’s get married.

Uche and Chocolate Jesus (Clinton’s new nickname for the season—CJ) are def hitting it off.

CLINTON: “Girls tell me they love me on social media, but it’s like, I’m a person. Do you ever think there is more to life than being really, really ridiculously good looking?”

Malcolm and every girl in the house start flirting. So that’s that.

MALCOLM: “I have ladies every day of the week. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday…. The other days. You get it.”

He meets Diandra, who is wearing hoops so big that the Kardashian family is in awe. She’s like “if I start calling you Papi, I’m interested.” Good thing it sounds sexy in Spanish. If I started calling dudes “Daddy” they would immediately refer me to a therapist.

Keith and Alexis start bonding over lung disease and her possibly incestuous ways.

ALEXIS: So you have your cousins, and then your first cousins, and your cousins with teeth. They are all fair fucking game.

Apparently Alexis is trying to rid herself of the redneck stereotype but it’s hard to take her seriously when she’s downing Bud Light one second and chain smoking cigarettes the next.

Keith is like “you should stop smoking. How about every time you smoke I spank you?” Is this a Narcotics Anonymous-approved method of prevention? Also, Keith and Alexis look like the perfect Trump-voting couple.

KEITH: “How about every time you mention building the wall I smack my own ass, yeehaw.”

Theeeeennnn they start making out and talking about butt stuff, as one does 30 minutes after meeting someone. Off to the boom room they go to make more babies that Alexis’ cousin can possibly fuck.

Keith apparently rocks Alexis’ world and he’s like “yeah I have pretty good reviews on Yelp.” Which is a place for businesses so congrats, you’re an escort.

Michael and Keyana take the first shower makeout scene for me. She’s like “I’ve never met someone who asks me about myself” and it’s like, well how do you usually meet people? Does no one ask you, like, what your name is?

THE DATE


MTV has decided to get as close as possible to killing one of these cast members and takes them to a bar as their date. We’re really pushing these livers to the limit here.

Ethan is trying to make small talk with Keyana and she is acting like she would rather be lit on fire than be a kind of nice person to an overall really nice guy. He eventually is like “I get it, you like Michael.” And I swear to god she breathes a sigh of relief.

She says he “asked about her and he actually cared” and it’s like, really? It had nothing to do with the alcohol and fact that your hand was down his pants most of the time?

They are presented with booze and a jazz band comes in. They’re like “what are the odds you get shit faced and listen to jazz in New Orleans?!”

Audrey and Malcolm are hanging out and she’s like “you’re a player, I can tell” and he’s like “I’m 25 now! I’m serious now!” he says as he chugs alcohol on a reality show on national television.

He claims he isn’t a player anymore because a “female” cheated on him once and it hurt. Boo, sad story. Anyone who calls a girl a female is a hard no from me.

AUDREY: I hope he ends up being different then the guy I know he is and always has been.

BACK AT THE HOUSE


The house is debating who to put in the Truth Booth and Diandra is like “Malcolm looks like Trey Songz!” (which he does) and Nurys is like “YOU JUST WANNA FUCK HIM DON’T YOU?!” Okay there, I’m gonna need to you to pop a quick Xanax and take a lap for a second.

Nurys is like “I am a hugely aggressive girl for literally no reason and sometimes people don’t like me for that.” Hmm, wonder why.

TRUTH BOOTH

Ethan and Keyana go to the Truth Booth and Keyana is looking for the nearest knife to stick in her neck. She heard Mike has a neck fetish, so yeah.

Ethan and Keyana are like “we get it, we’re not compatible” and Keyana is thinking of getting it tattooed on her body. Let’s remember, they were voted in because they “both like music” which we all know, is a true stepping stone to a love connection.

Of course, they get a no match BUT that’s not the worst part of this whole thing. The WORST part is Keyana acting like a straight-up fucking bitch when they get a no match. I get it, you like Michael and you want to have his vanilla-ass babies so they can surf into the sunset and live a life full of missionary sex, HOWEVER you did not need to be like “YES, I’M PARTYING TONIGHT BECAUSE WE’RE NOT A MATCH!!!”

That’s not a paraphrase made by me, that’s a quote and frankly, it’s a fucked up one. And that’s coming from a fucked up person.

Ethan’s like “I’ve never seen someone so excited to get away from me” and I think every single person watching (aka me and 15 people who read this recap) were either a) about to cry for this actual nice guy or b) so fucking annoyed with Keyana for acting like she’s soooo much better than him. Anyone with a chest tattoo is not at the liberty to belittle people. That is a job strictly reserved for me. Now that we got that lecture out of the way…

OTHER STUFF

Ethan starts downing red wine and freestyle rapping. Aka me on any given night.

They start playing a game of sexy truth or dare, because they are original like that.

Malcolm and Diandre make out, Clinton and Uche make out, Michael licks Keyana, it’s all pretty generic.

Shad or Chad or whatever his fucking name is asks Alexis to kiss everyone in the house and she’s like okay and says “mama didn’t raise no bitch.” Incredible. I want that on a cross stitch. She proceeds to make out with everyone. Just like her mama intended.

KEITH: “She’s a little wild and idk if I trust her.” Really? This is the hard line for you? Not when she implied that she fucks her cousins?

Geles and Michael bond over the fact that they have large Hispanic families and it’s like, who is going to send me some tamales? Hit me up.

Nurys is getting pissed because DD (Diandre) is still talking to Malcolm when she likes him. She’s like “DD is obviously insecure!” and it’s like, hmmm okay sweetie.

Second shower makeout session goes to DD and Malcolm. Really? Now it’s just getting cliché. Isn’t there a closet you can take this to?

Of course, the moment DD goes to sleep Nurys is like DGAF and her and Malcolm start making out. DAMN. Okay. That’s how it’s gonna be. Then he hops back into bed with DD.

MALCOLM: I’m not a player. I promise I’m not a player.

Okay, Big Pun. Anyway, see you all next week.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/are-you-the-one-recap-malcolm-go-back-to-your-home-on-whore-island/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/180768851792

[allofbeercom]

‘Are You The One?’ Recap: Malcolm, Go Back To Your Home On Whore Island

The worst/best show on television is back and lucky for you, the worst/best recapper you know is back too. You’re welcome.

TBH I was heavily considering not recapping this show because I was thinking about living my life and stuff, but then I saw this shit show of a cast (and also how bad the Bachelor is) and I just knew in the dark pits of my soul that I couldn’t let this show go.

LET’S BEGIN NOW

First major change—they are in New Orleans now. Probably a good thing. They weren’t getting too much variety in the Dominican Republic. You can only play with monkeys so many times until you’re like “so, where are the buildings with electricity?”

Also, Terrence J is the new host. RIP to the best father figure most of the contestants ever had, Ryan Devlin.

Let’s review some of the dumb things we learned/that were said during introductions to everyone:

TYLER: “I told her that I was okay with her hooking up with another guy and I wasn’t!” Cool story, Hansel.

UCHE: “I’m with all these guys I’m not supposed to be with! Football players, rappers, all the cool guys.” That’s a weird way of saying you’re a fuckin’ loser.

KEYANA: “I want to be everywhere with my boyfriend. I want to wear a vile of his blood around my neck and drink from it from time to time. What.” (paraphrase)

JOE’S MOM: “My son brings home idiots, which is amazing because he sells pot for a living and it shocks me that Harvard grads aren’t lining up to date him.”

NICOLE: “I’m trapped in this hookup culture!!!” She acts like she’s been kidnapped in a third world country rather than being asked for dick pics.

KAREEM: “Where I’m from, don’t nobody ever touch a million dollars.” Yeah, they clearly don’t read books or attend basic English classes either.

MICHAEL: “I get like 25-50 DM’s from girls a day wanting to date me. None of them speak English though, so lo siento bitches, no dates for you.” Also, Mike, they are all probs like 14. Judging from the acne on your face, you probably are too.

FIRST CHALLENGE

Terrence J shows the girls something the boys find important and the girls have to raise their hands if it’s important to them too. Moderate Instagram fame has to be on this list.

First is football. Audrey raises her hand and she’s like “Why do I like football? Why do I not like football?! I love football!!!”

AUDREY DURING FOOTBALL GAMES: 


Football was Malcolm’s pick and he’s like “I love football because that’s the only reason my dad loves me” and the girls are all like “AW THAT’S SO SWEET!” Nothing moisturizes the kitty like deep-rooted familial issues, amirite.

Next is the piano, and Keyana is like “I like music!” while the rest of the girls apparently prefer silence? Her match is Ethan, the guy who looks like Rob Dyrdek if he ate Rob Dyrdek. He’s very excited to go on his first date ever and is just itching to call his mom and tell her all about it.

Turns out he’s a rapper. Fuck. There is always one “rapper” every season and they are almost always bordering on albino.

ETHAN: “E-Money gets the girls, but Ethan doesn’t.” How many of you are there?

REAL PICTURE OF ETHAN:

Next picture is some religious stuff and the girls are like “I only go down on my knees for one thing, and it ain’t our lord and savior.” Too bad—it was Clinton’s pick and he’s a fine-ass mother fucker. Jesus wept making that fine specimen and that should tell you something, since I’m a Jew.

Next picture is a condom and Jada is like “HEEEEEEEEEEY.”

JADA’S ROLE ON THIS SHOW:

Chad is the one that picked a condom and he’s like “yeah, I like sex, so what?” Chad reminds me of the guy you tell your sorority little to avoid at frat parties.

CHAD: “Look at me, I’m the Chad!” I’M SORRY, unless you are Tom Green yelling to Drew Barrymore from a boat, you are not the fuckin’ Chad!!! Wait, is his name Shad? THAT IS EVEN WORSE.

Anyways, all the couples are going on a date. Thrilling.

ON TO THE HOUSE

Of course it’s time for shots and more introductions.

ZOE: “Guys don’t like me, they just want to wear my thighs as earmuffs.” Oddly specific but ok.

JOE: “I was raised a Jehovah’s Witness and so far the only thing I have ever witnessed is me still being a virgin”

Joe’s going to be that castmate that I can’t tell is hot. He always looks like he is squinting into the sun but I would def let him in if he came knocking on my door wanting to sell a bible.

Keyana immediately tells Michael that she follows him on Instagram and he’s like “very cool, do you speak English?” Also, Keyana do you need to refill your shitty beer? Because you look fucking THIRSTY.

Ethan is already hating himself and saying that he’s going to sit in a corner all season and now I’m just upset. No one puts Ethan in a corner!

KEYANA: So you wear a shoe on each foot?


MIKE: Yeah


KEYANA: omg so do I. Let’s get married.

Uche and Chocolate Jesus (Clinton’s new nickname for the season—CJ) are def hitting it off.

CLINTON: “Girls tell me they love me on social media, but it’s like, I’m a person. Do you ever think there is more to life than being really, really ridiculously good looking?”

Malcolm and every girl in the house start flirting. So that’s that.

MALCOLM: “I have ladies every day of the week. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday…. The other days. You get it.”

He meets Diandra, who is wearing hoops so big that the Kardashian family is in awe. She’s like “if I start calling you Papi, I’m interested.” Good thing it sounds sexy in Spanish. If I started calling dudes “Daddy” they would immediately refer me to a therapist.

Keith and Alexis start bonding over lung disease and her possibly incestuous ways.

ALEXIS: So you have your cousins, and then your first cousins, and your cousins with teeth. They are all fair fucking game.

Apparently Alexis is trying to rid herself of the redneck stereotype but it’s hard to take her seriously when she’s downing Bud Light one second and chain smoking cigarettes the next.

Keith is like “you should stop smoking. How about every time you smoke I spank you?” Is this a Narcotics Anonymous-approved method of prevention? Also, Keith and Alexis look like the perfect Trump-voting couple.

KEITH: “How about every time you mention building the wall I smack my own ass, yeehaw.”

Theeeeennnn they start making out and talking about butt stuff, as one does 30 minutes after meeting someone. Off to the boom room they go to make more babies that Alexis’ cousin can possibly fuck.

Keith apparently rocks Alexis’ world and he’s like “yeah I have pretty good reviews on Yelp.” Which is a place for businesses so congrats, you’re an escort.

Michael and Keyana take the first shower makeout scene for me. She’s like “I’ve never met someone who asks me about myself” and it’s like, well how do you usually meet people? Does no one ask you, like, what your name is?

THE DATE


MTV has decided to get as close as possible to killing one of these cast members and takes them to a bar as their date. We’re really pushing these livers to the limit here.

Ethan is trying to make small talk with Keyana and she is acting like she would rather be lit on fire than be a kind of nice person to an overall really nice guy. He eventually is like “I get it, you like Michael.” And I swear to god she breathes a sigh of relief.

She says he “asked about her and he actually cared” and it’s like, really? It had nothing to do with the alcohol and fact that your hand was down his pants most of the time?

They are presented with booze and a jazz band comes in. They’re like “what are the odds you get shit faced and listen to jazz in New Orleans?!”

Audrey and Malcolm are hanging out and she’s like “you’re a player, I can tell” and he’s like “I’m 25 now! I’m serious now!” he says as he chugs alcohol on a reality show on national television.

He claims he isn’t a player anymore because a “female” cheated on him once and it hurt. Boo, sad story. Anyone who calls a girl a female is a hard no from me.

AUDREY: I hope he ends up being different then the guy I know he is and always has been.

BACK AT THE HOUSE


The house is debating who to put in the Truth Booth and Diandra is like “Malcolm looks like Trey Songz!” (which he does) and Nurys is like “YOU JUST WANNA FUCK HIM DON’T YOU?!” Okay there, I’m gonna need to you to pop a quick Xanax and take a lap for a second.

Nurys is like “I am a hugely aggressive girl for literally no reason and sometimes people don’t like me for that.” Hmm, wonder why.

TRUTH BOOTH

Ethan and Keyana go to the Truth Booth and Keyana is looking for the nearest knife to stick in her neck. She heard Mike has a neck fetish, so yeah.

Ethan and Keyana are like “we get it, we’re not compatible” and Keyana is thinking of getting it tattooed on her body. Let’s remember, they were voted in because they “both like music” which we all know, is a true stepping stone to a love connection.

Of course, they get a no match BUT that’s not the worst part of this whole thing. The WORST part is Keyana acting like a straight-up fucking bitch when they get a no match. I get it, you like Michael and you want to have his vanilla-ass babies so they can surf into the sunset and live a life full of missionary sex, HOWEVER you did not need to be like “YES, I’M PARTYING TONIGHT BECAUSE WE’RE NOT A MATCH!!!”

That’s not a paraphrase made by me, that’s a quote and frankly, it’s a fucked up one. And that’s coming from a fucked up person.

Ethan’s like “I’ve never seen someone so excited to get away from me” and I think every single person watching (aka me and 15 people who read this recap) were either a) about to cry for this actual nice guy or b) so fucking annoyed with Keyana for acting like she’s soooo much better than him. Anyone with a chest tattoo is not at the liberty to belittle people. That is a job strictly reserved for me. Now that we got that lecture out of the way…

OTHER STUFF

Ethan starts downing red wine and freestyle rapping. Aka me on any given night.

They start playing a game of sexy truth or dare, because they are original like that.

Malcolm and Diandre make out, Clinton and Uche make out, Michael licks Keyana, it’s all pretty generic.

Shad or Chad or whatever his fucking name is asks Alexis to kiss everyone in the house and she’s like okay and says “mama didn’t raise no bitch.” Incredible. I want that on a cross stitch. She proceeds to make out with everyone. Just like her mama intended.

KEITH: “She’s a little wild and idk if I trust her.” Really? This is the hard line for you? Not when she implied that she fucks her cousins?

Geles and Michael bond over the fact that they have large Hispanic families and it’s like, who is going to send me some tamales? Hit me up.

Nurys is getting pissed because DD (Diandre) is still talking to Malcolm when she likes him. She’s like “DD is obviously insecure!” and it’s like, hmmm okay sweetie.

Second shower makeout session goes to DD and Malcolm. Really? Now it’s just getting cliché. Isn’t there a closet you can take this to?

Of course, the moment DD goes to sleep Nurys is like DGAF and her and Malcolm start making out. DAMN. Okay. That’s how it’s gonna be. Then he hops back into bed with DD.

MALCOLM: I’m not a player. I promise I’m not a player.

Okay, Big Pun. Anyway, see you all next week.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/are-you-the-one-recap-malcolm-go-back-to-your-home-on-whore-island/

[sarcasticsaddo]

MOVIE REVIEW: You Get Me

I did a poll on my instagram spam account (fatratglenn btw) and i got 100% votes for me to start and put movie reviews on my tumblr. so here goes nothing...

FIRST OF ALL.... this movie had 5 main characters - Holly, Tyler, Ali (or Alison), Gil and Lydia but the movie to me in general is primarily focused on Holly & Tyler.

So, basically the movie starts off with Tyler narrating about his life and blah blah blah *insert cliche teen boy shit in here* and how his new girlfriend has quote on quote ‘changed his life’. And briefly afterwards we’re taken to this cliche house party in the middle of damn nowhere where we are introduced to these privileged ass California teens. Then out of nowhere Tyler , our male protagonist, discovers his lovers (Ali’s) ‘vices’ (being the cliche popular party girl previously who insists she’ changed). He then talks to this misogynistic asshole Chandler - i mean Chase (i could not remember because the name is so overused) who speaks of Ali in a somewhat ‘disrespectful’ manner. The annoying thing about this is that the movie forces us and wants us to believe that this guy was important to Ali and is spilling about her old ways and is such a typical douche bag its kinda not believable. And ALSO this dude is all the way from San Fran, so accordingly to my research he would have to travel some good  383.2 miles just to see Ali and attend some party which he knows NOBODY there which is stupid and unrealistic. I just wanna say that ‘unrealism’ is to be expected in this movie - so be warned...

Ah, and then naturally in his typical douche bag token white guy ways, our boy Tyler gets off his tits ‘drunk’ just fir the purpose of him yelling at his girlfriend who declared his ‘soulmate’ 5 minutes ago! THIS MOVIE IS NOT CONSISTENT. Anyways, she then breaks up with him with no emotion whatsoever which instantly told me this movie had no hope for acting as i yawned. Prior to this we see him engage in a random and stupid conversation with Holly finally after a good 20 minutes of rambling. THEN he sees Holly and doesn't seem as drunk as he did 0.2 secs ago and gets in the car with this COMPLETE STRANGER and goes clubbing with her. Then we are ‘blessed’ with a cringey montage of he and her clubbing and taking what appears to be ecstasy. Then they continue to be unrealistic teens as they grind and make out for a solid 5 minutes on each other. This scene was especially painful to watch as Bella Thorne and Taylor John Smith had 0 chemistry but at least they tried. Then it cuts to the pair in bed after clearly having sex and just spends a good 15 minutes (it felt like the whole movie) of them both talking and bonding and in this HUGE MANSION which clearly isn’t Holly’s so doesn’t that tell you she’s a little PSYCHOTIC because she broke in for no damn reason?! Anyways, then Tyler and Holly fuck AGAIN and then he says he has to leave because ‘his parents’ (whom he said he only lived with his mom) would be worried. 

So he leaves and doesn’t show any interest in his Ex-Girlfriend Ali, until she texts him on--screen asking if they can talk - ONLY THEN HE’S INTERESTED. Then they have a cliche moment where he betrays her an lies but she doesn’t know it - SHOCKER! cliche again, i know. So a little while later she moves to his school and unnaturally starts becoming close with Ali, Gil, Lydia - much to Tyler's dismay which she clearly does so she can get to him. Then they make out forcefully privately and he says she can’t do this and that he’s going to be ‘fucking sorry’ which was arguably the best line in the entire movie and the one line spoken with actual emotion so bravo Bella Thorne for being the only one who can semi-act. 

Fast forward a couple more painful scenes and we find our selves seeing that Mr Dumb ass finally realized Holly is insane after she tells some lies that hurt his ego but (i agree with because he was so unlikable.) Also prior to this she tells him he used her, in which he of course denies, but to me was proven to be true as when they slept together they had a bond and he called it ‘special’ when he led her on to a false image which may have sparked her unhealthy desire for him in the first place. So yes, Tyler aka Mr ‘Such a good boyfriend’  did use Holly. 

Also note that there is a super uncomfortable make-out scene between Holly (Bella Thorne) and Gil (Nash Grier) when she speaks about her and Tyler’s fling to Ali (anonymously of course) on the beach because that’s where all Cali Teens hang right? 

Sooner or later Holly lies about being pregnant and talks about Tyler all the time and Ali never notices it being a little off because ,she too, has no brain just like everyone else except Lydia who is nearly killed so what does that tell you? Also near this moment we have, low and behold, the single handedly best scene of this god-awful movie, which is when the most likable character - Lydia suffers a seizure which is so dramatized and taken out of context considering the angles and close-up shots of her shaking her ass are not scary at all and are actually extremely hilarious, laughable and are simply comedic gold!

And then, just THEN Tyler realizes alongside a hospitalized Lydia, that this bitch, Holly is a FUCKING PSYCHO! I had to pause the damn movie to sigh in relief that this was finally noted. Then things get more ‘serious’ when Holly’’s baby-daddy, Tyler, shoves Holly who is allegedly pregnant which his child over and she bleeds and gets grazed, then she makes it her mission to tell Ali about them and she does.

Then our ‘beloved’ high-school couple (sorry Gabriela and Troy) break up at the damn beach AGAIN. Like seriously, could the director not have shot these scenes at different locations like we get it - they live in California and overly LOVE the beach, but showing something different would be a little refreshing, thanks. She says ‘she never wants to see him again’ boo-hoo crap and that’s the end of that.

BUT NOT BEFORE Holly ties fucking Alison upside down (like man that really took some effort getting up there) to her own ceiling at the mansion and then whilst Corrine, her stepmother (who doesn't do anything about her behavior despite being aware of it) tries to untie Ali but not before Holly (our favorite psychopath) strangulates her to death. This clearly showed Holly gave no fucks and made her more likable to me. 

Then Tyler and Gil turn up and there’s a classic cliche showdown which is borderline ripped right off of Scream and Friday the 13th etc in which Gil is nearly shot (OMG NASH GRIER NEARLY DIED SO INTENSE bull-crap!) and Tyler is shot in the shoulder and Ali grabs a fire-poker and stabs Holly in the side causing her to fall inevitably in to the pool. But get this - she’s not dead! - (somehow she didn’t drown or bleed to death, that was a pretty painful stab btw) as Tyler pretends so badly to be dying as Ali and Gil pretend to care and attend to him whilst the police arrive. Then Holly is implied to become obsessed with the ambulance nurse as she somehow lives and looks untouched completely. REALISTIC Y’ALL!

Then yay! all their problems are solved as 3 of them party at Tyler’s little sisters party and then it ends. Classic cliche happy ending , worst 89 minutes of my life.

Some other things i’d like to point out is how this film is meant to be an ‘American Thriller’. Excuse me, but this wasn’t dark nor a thriller - it was more like a dramatized teen movie that had been done in Hollywood several times over the past 40 decades prior to this 2017 flick. And, with some more emotion, better acting, script and realism added in (and much more) this could have had the potential to be a good and somewhat decent Netflix movie! I think despite all those factors, the thing that let this movie down also was the stupid cringey-ass cuts in-between scenes where it was a overview of California (implying YET AGAIN that the director wants you to know that’s where they live for some unspecified reason) which had a form of EDM neo pop generic dubstep TRASH playing over it too.

So yeah, this took me a while to type, and now my fingers are numb! But, this was and hopefully not my last movie review! Now please don't watch this movie because if this review and its 4.6 IMBd score and it’s 26% score on rottentomatoes.com proves that you should STAY THE HELL AWAY from this movie.

The only somewhat likable charters were Holly (the fucking psycho) and Lydia - the one who actually had a brain! All the other were extremely boring, unlikable and mediocre.

REVIEW CONCLUDED.

Until Next Time my dudes,

sarcastic-saddo