#guys literally what do i do when she signs off first name i literally don't know how to act

[maraczeks]

+

[thewulf]

Not Just Pals || Jake "Hangman" Seresin

Summary: Request - Hello darling! I have a request for you if you don't mind... It's a hangman x fem! Reader pen pals to friends to lovers kind of thing. Like maybe when he was in the academy someone put his name in this program to write to college students but joke on them because he got paired with reader and they hit it off almost instantly... Read Rest Here

A/N: Whew! This one was for whatever reason really tough to write! I changed it up a little bit but I hope you guys still enjoy it. :)

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Female Reader

Word Count: 3.9k +

T/W : Self-doubt

October 9th, 2014

Hi There Y/N,

I’m not sure how you’re really supposed to start one of these things? How are you supposed to go about talking to somebody you’ve literally never met before? Although the Navy/Army pen pal thing could be interesting. I’ll be honest, my buddy signed me up and I didn’t think I’d actually write anything down but then I got the email with your name on it, Cadet Y/N Y/L/N. Consider myself intrigued.

What’s it like up in New York? Is it cold? Do you get a lot of snow? It gets awfully cold down here in Maryland, so I have to imagine how cold it gets up there. I’m from Texas so I’m still adjusting to this weather… four years later. It’s not easy. I think it’s the hardest part of living in the northeast. I’d rather run a marathon with a thirty-pound pack on than sit outside in the snow for more than twenty minutes. I hope to get stationed somewhere warm when this is all set and done.

Your ‘about me’ says you’re going into the Air Defense Artillery after West Point… which is the exact opposite of what I’m doing. Consider myself doubly intrigued Cadet. What do you do? Fire missiles and rockets at jets? That can’t possibly be as much fun as firing them when you’re in the air. It’s cool just not nearly as cool as what I do, know what I mean? Maybe a close second though.

Have you even been in a jet before? I bet you’d like it. I obviously don’t know you, but I haven’t met many people who didn’t like it. There’s something so freeing about flying 1,000 miles per hour in a tiny silver tube. You should try it sometime. If this whole thing works out maybe I’ll even take you up one day, who knows?

I guess that was my attempt at 20 questions. Hopefully you didn’t find it too annoying. Hope to hear back from you soon!

Jake Seresin

November 23rd ,2014

Hello Future Lieutenant Jake Seresin,

I’m thrilled you actually decided to write. I’m glad my name was all you needed to pick up that pen. I have to admit you made me giggle a few times. You seem effortlessly funny Mr. Seresin. Even for a soon-to-be Pilot.

I find it comical you’re asking me about the weather of all things, Midshipmen. Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do on an awkward first date? But to answer your question, yes it’s cold as all get out up here. But I’m from Indiana so I’m used to it. Doesn’t mean I didn’t wish West Point wasn’t in Georgia or something. Why’d they have to put all the Military schools in the north?

What was it like growing up in Texas? Did you ever see snow? One of my favorite memories from this place is watching my roommate (who’s from Florida) see and play in snow for the first time. She froze her ass off but had the day of her life. She also hates snow now. So, it looks like you warm people have that in common.

To sum it up I guess you can say we fire rockets and missiles. My professors always say, ‘If it sounds like rocket science, it is’. Basically, we need to protect the ground troops from the flying bastards aka you. Although we do love our American flying bastards. So, I guess that doesn’t knock you down too many pegs in my book. Do you think they matched us up because our jobs are the antithesis of the other? If so, somebody had a hilarious sense of humor.

I’ve never been in a jet, and I have no plans to either. I don’t think I’d enjoy it if we’re being honest. You’re talking to the girl who gets sea-sick on cruises and had to take a motion pill if we’re going to an amusement park. My lil brain can’t handle the motion. A character flaw as they say. I also have a sense that you wouldn’t go to easy on me, being Army and all. I’ll stick to my calculations and rockets.

Don’t tell anybody I wrote this, but I do think what you guys do is so badass. I work with a bunch of jealous Cadets who couldn’t make it into the Army Aviation division, they’re just bitter. When I was little my dad used to take me to the Blue Angels shows in Chicago whenever they made their way across the States. Kind of the reason why I wanted to be in the military in the first place. But only my dad knows that. And well, I guess you now too. So, keep my secret safe Mr. Seresin.

I know the weather is less than desirable, but I do hope you’re finding things you love in Annapolis! There are some of the best crab cakes I’ve ever had there.

Thanks for the smiles after a long week!

Your New Friend,

Y/N Y/L/N

February 16th, 2015

Future Second Lieutenant Y/N Y/L/N,

That has a right to it doesn’t it? Your name sounds good with a Second Lieutenant in front of it. Sorry it’s been so long since I wrote. Getting busy with graduation coming up and practical’s and all. It’s a lame excuse I know, but it’s all I got. I hope you know how big I smiled reading your letter to me. I read it about fifty times before I could write a decent response to you. You have a way with words that I haven’t read in a long, long time.

Was your father in the military? None of my family was. I also loved the Blue Angels when they came down to Houston for the air shows. I’d always beg and plead and finally my mom or sister would give in and take me. They’re also the reason I’m here. So, I guess we should thank them that we got to meet. Neither you nor I would be in these academies without them. Your secret is locked away in the drawer and safe in my head too. It’s super safe with me.

I’ll be honest, the food here is so damn good. I sure do miss my Texas barbeque, but the spread is better up over here. Plus, the snacks? I didn’t know there was different brands sold across the states and you guys have better girl scout cookies! That’s just not fair. I could’ve gone my whole life knowing that there were two versions of girl scout cookies and I got the worse version. I’ve enjoyed the move far more than I’ve regretted it. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. It doesn’t guarantee I’ll be a pilot, but it means I’m one step closer to getting there.

What all schooling do you have to do after you graduate this spring? Are you up for deployment soon? I’ve got a lot left to go. If I get picked after I’ve got a few years of flight school ahead of me. Then I’ll really be off. Wish me luck I make it!

With Love,

Jake

March 13th, 2015

Mr. Seresin,

I was getting worried! I thought it was something I had wrote. I’m glad it’s your negligence and not mine for the lack of communication. I forgive you though. It’s been stressful up here in New York as well. I luckily don’t have any practical’s I need to worry about. Just a few nuclear engineering classes are standing in between me and graduation.

I just have a year of Officer School (if I get selected that is) after this is all set and done come June. We have to apply this April so I’m getting a little anxious about the whole thing. I don’t really have a backup plan that I’d actually like to do so I really, really hope I get selected. Enough about me though, let’s talk about you. You’re going to get picked! Don’t let any bad thoughts get in between you and your goal. I think you’ll make a fine pilot Jake. You seem to have your wits about you which is the first step a lot of people miss.

My dad was in the Navy, like you. Don’t gloat though, it’ll ruin the finely crafted image I have of you. He was a deck hand or something like that. I wish I could ask him some more about it, but he passed when I was just thirteen. I just remember he loved being in the Navy. He loved everything about it. He made it seem like anything was possible with a passion.

I’m glad you’re enjoying the food and the girl scout cookies. It took me by surprise when I got Peanut Butter Patties instead of Tagalongs when I was down south for a winter. I’m so glad I grew up where the real GSC are sold.

I hope this letter brought you as much joy as yours brought me.

With the Same Love,

Y/N

(P.S. – Here’s my number if you’d like to text instead of write. No pressure!)

It had only been a week since you sent the last letter. Sure, you hadn’t really known the guy all too well but there was something so exciting about sending written mail. You felt like a little kid on Christmas waiting for a response from him. Who knew throwing your name in something so silly for your class would bring you so much joy.

You sat down on your desk setting your computer out front of you to study. Jake was right. It was an awfully busy time of the year. Applying for your future. Studying for you exams. When you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket you truly didn’t think much of it. It was only hours later when you finally closed the laptop shut that you went to check it that your face scrunched in confusion. You didn’t recognize the area code. It was then that it clicked that it could be him.

No pressure at all text! Hi there (it’s Jake).

You grinned reading it over and over again. That was quick! Maybe you made an impression? You sure hoped so. You hardly even knew what the guy looked like. You might’ve gone digging a little when you got his name. He was cute. Handsome even. But he seemed like that type. That arrogant pilot type. But even in just the two letters you received from him you got the hint that he wasn’t that type of guy at all.

I didn’t think you’d actually text me. It’s good to hear from you.

The messages between the two of you were infrequent at best as the semester ended. But he never failed to put a smile on your face. When you needed a pick me up you went through and read the messages that popped up.

On your graduation day you sent him a picture of you and a few friends in a cap and gown with the text: Beat you! You’re also looking at your newest Officer Candidate too!

You didn’t have to wait long for a reply. Your face only grew with glee seeing his response: Congrats Second Lieutenant. And future Captain. Knew you’d do it. You look beautiful as always.

Typing a quick reply, you hid your smile away just knowing your friends would make a stupid comment about the mystery man that always had you so smiley: You’re making me blush all the way up here in New York. I better get a picture next weekend when you do the same, future Lieutenant.

He came through on your request. When you got the text you could only smile. You spotted him in the picture immediately, your eyes drawn to him. He was so damned handsome. How lucky were you to get paired with a guy like that? Your smile grew further when you read the message: Lieutenant (and future pilot) Jake Seresin reporting for picture duty.

The messages occurred naturally between through the years as you were deployed, and he was in school. Some months you texted more and some you didn’t hear from him at all. It never bothered you. The silly little thing called life happened for both of you.

Still, the two of you often made time for phone calls when the time was right. The first time you talked on the phone you thought you were going to quite literally throw up you were so nervous. But in typical Jake Seresin fashion he made you feel cool as a cucumber. You talked and talked and talked into the morning. It felt so normal. Like you were catching up with an old friend. Jake Seresin. Who was this man that was making it hard to date? He was quite literally everything you wanted and needed in a partner. The universe had a funny way of working sometimes.

It had been six long years since you received that first letter from him. He was off on a mission now. A dangerous one he couldn’t tell you much about. But he wanted you at his arrival back home in San Diego and you promised him you’d be there. Assured him. That’s how you ended up in here pacing in the hotel room contemplating whether you should really go or not. It felt too intimate, like you were intruding. But he did say none of his family would be there, they had other things going on as the mission was a bit of a surprise to everybody. The pilots were all instructed to keep it as quiet as possible.

Your hands were shaking as you parked your car in the overcrowded lot. Gripping the steering wheel, you took a long breath in. You could do this. You had to do this. For him, for you. You stepped out of the car and made you way to the dock. The aircraft carrier was already docked by the time you got to the meeting site. You stood back and waited. Watched and waited. It felt like an eternity then finally the men and women started pouring out in their Navy Whites. You’d always thought they looked the sharpest of the bunch, but you’d never tell Jake that. He’d make fun of your Army uniforms or something like that.

It felt like both an eternity and seconds later that you spotted him amongst the crowd of sailors exiting the ship searching high and low for you. You promised you’d be there. And here you were. He either felt your eyes on him or had an uncanny sense of timing as his eyes locked with your own. His smile had melted you right there on the spot. You felt helpless as you willed your brain to move but it wouldn’t. You only began to panic a little as he moved with ease through the crowd making his way right to you.

He stood in front of you. Jake Seresin stood in front of you, much taller than you thought, “I knew I recognized you. First Lieutenant Y/L/N.” His eyebrows raised as you gaped at him with wide eyes as if he wasn’t really there. Closing your mouth, you knew you needed to pull it together but that sounded much easier said than done. Jake freaking Seresin, your pen pal was really standing in front of you in real life. He was more of enigma in your mind at this point. Somebody you could have deep life conversations with so easily but never having actually met the man it was hard for you to grasp he was really real. And standing in front of you.

“Jake.” You smiled hoping it sounded somewhat normal. He was so much more handsome than the photos he sent through the years. How was that possible? Wasn’t it supposed to go the other way? You continued once your head finally could form coherent sentences, “Well it’s actually Captain now. Got promoted a couple weeks ago.”

He turned his head to the side just slightly, “You didn’t tell me that.” Almost looking offended you hadn’t told him.

“Never felt like the right time to divulge. With this mission and all. Had to keep you locked in.” You looked up to him now studying his face as you gained more courage talking to him. He was something your dreams couldn’t make up.

He nodded not daring to take his eyes off you. He too thought you were even prettier than he could have envisioned. You’d sent pictures and he’d followed your social media, but nothing could’ve prepared him. Especially in your civilian clothes, he was a sucker already. Deep down Jake knew you were the reason he was so non-committal before. He was looking for somebody just like you and couldn’t find her. Yet here you stood in front of him. You were so funny and witty and smart, and yet he couldn’t put it all into words. You are the whole package and so much more.

“You still could’ve told me. We talked enough before I left.” He grinned seeing that the tension was already easing from your shoulders.

You shook your head, “Wasn’t about me Seresin. I just wanted you to stay focused and safe. And thank goodness you did.” You admitted a little more than you wanted, but he just made you feel so gushy. Like you were a sweeter version of yourself you could hardly recognize. And the words just kept flowing out when he gave you that look with those green eyes.

“Oh yeah?” He challenged you a bit sensing that you were starting to feel a bit more comfortable with him already, “Didn’t think you’d be so relieved darlin’.”

Ignoring the sweet term of endearment you shook your head, “And waste six years of my life on nothing? Jake that’s so inefficient. Of course, I want you safe.” The words came fast, and they were snarkier than you intended. But you truly couldn’t help it.  He had you relaxed within the first five minutes of talking to him. You felt like you could just be you.

He threw his head back in laughter. That same weight had lifted right off his shoulders when you snapped back at him like he was waiting on it, “There she is. My favorite mouthy girl.”

He said it so nonchalantly you thought your heart was going to combust on the spot. Your cheeks surely gave way to your reaction to his words. His favorite mouthy girl? Christ. He was trying to send you into a coma or something! Your brain quite literally short circuited as it failed to form any coherent sentence. He only chuckled in response seeing your cheeks heat up in a blazing blush.

“It’s so nice to actually see you in person. You know I’ve always told you this, but it rings even truer even now. You’re quite a stunner, Captain.” His eyes met yours before you looked away quickly feeling as though you were going to faint at those words. You weren’t sure how this interaction was going to go initially. But you really didn’t think he’d come right out and say that he found you stunning. The occasional letter and texts in between had grown flirtier the longer you had known him, but it never crossed your mind he’d be so outright with it.

You turned away out of sheer bashfulness. Never had a man been so bold with you before. It was foreign. Not uncomfortable, no. Nothing could be with him. He made it easier than seemed possible.

“You flatter me Jake.” You grinned up at him hoping your makeup would hide the darkening of your cheeks, “I should say the same for you. Handsome as ever.”

“Now you’re making me blush, Cap.” Sure as hell the faintest pink dusted his cheek, but he seemed much stronger than you. He kept the eye contact going.

You shook your head trying to bite back the big smile you had on your face, but it showed through anyway. How was he doing this? Making you feel so giddy just by looking at him. You knew this man but for the first time it actually felt like you might actually love him. You’d had the deepest conversations with him. When you needed a laugh you texted him. When you craved advice you called him. He was the guy you turned to. And it dawned on you that he never failed to answer you. He wanted to take your calls and answer your texts. He looked forward to it. He too had fallen for a woman he’d never met before.

You needed the change the subject and fast or more words would be tumbling out, “How was the mission? Everyone make it out okay?” You asked having no idea what you were getting yourself into. Jake hadn’t told you much about what they were doing, couldn’t tell you much. But now that it was over he couldn’t wait to tell you every nitty gritty little detail.

“I’ll tell you if you let me buy you a drink?” He gave you a smirk that sent nerves racing throughout your body. Jesus. This man was something else.

Giving him a curious once over you nodded, “Shouldn’t I be the one buying you a drink sailor? You coming home and all?”

“Absolutely not. I’ll never let you buy me a drink darlin’.”

Gosh, Jake was actually going to be the death of you. He was so good making his words come off so easily. You felt terribly high strung next to him, “And why not?”

“Because I’m trying to woo you sweetheart. When I get you to go on a date with me I have to impress you. Inevitably that’ll work and you’ll become my girlfriend. And I can’t have my girlfriend paying for my drinks, no. And it’ll only get worse when I get the pleasure of marrying you. If my wife thinks she’ll pay for a thing she had another thing coming.” He gleamed at you as if he didn’t just say all of that.

You gulped before a stupid smile grew on your face. Of course, you knew he was forward but again, he just took you on an entirely new adventure with that statement, “That’s quite a bold statement Jake.”

He shrugged, “I thought I should make my intentions perfectly clear. I think you’re one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. And you’re perfectly you. Sharp as tack. Funnier than ever. You’re you. And I really like you.”

You let out a breath not sure if you really believed all of that, “So not just pals, huh?” It was all you could think of quickly but that did it for him. Sealed the deal. He knew he was going to marry you right then and there. You’d complete him in every way he needed you and vice versa.

He shook his head taking his arm in yours, “Not just pals.” Leaning into his gentle embrace you led him to your car where he would not let you drive. He insisted that it was a gentleman’s job even if he was only running off four hours of sleep. You’d appeased the man who was on his very best behavior. Not that you minded. Nope, not at all. You were thrilled that Jake was exactly who he seemed to be. Your Jake. Not just pals indeed.

Jake Seresin/Top Gun: Permanent Taglist (If you'd like to be added to any or all works please fill out the form here: Taglist Sign Up) @loving-and-dreaming @kmc1989 @memeorydotcom @matisse556 @buckylov3r @taygrls @ah-blossom @mamachasesmayhem @hardballoonlove @rosiahills22 @djs8891 @illisea @jessicab1991 @guacam011y @dempy

[meowsforyujin]

Obsessed- Hyunjin x fem reader

roommates/friends to lovers

Warnings!!( fingering, drinking, riding, unprotected sex(don’t do it), pet names, hyunjins cocky and obsessive )

To say that Hyunjin was obsessed with you was an understatement.

He knew everything about you, even things you didn’t know about yourself. You two had been roommates for two years now, easily hitting it off when Hyunjin moved in. Hyunjin was nothing but a stranger at first, only moving into your small apartment from a craigslist ad. But it really didn’t take long for you two to become best friends. You literally did everything together.

But this was never enough for Hyunjin, he knew from the beginning living with you would be difficult. The moment he saw you he’d been more intrigued then he’d ever been by a woman in his life. Hyunjin wasn’t described as a gentleman, to say the least. He wasn’t a bad person, just a bit of an immature pervert. So he could never for the life of him figure out why he was so suddenly drawn to you in a way he’d never experienced the first day he saw you.

It’s not that you aren’t attractive, you definitely are. It’s that the first day he saw you, you were in the most seemingly “unattractive” outfit ever. Obviously he thought it was attractive, and that's what he found weird. The first day he saw you, you looked like you had just rolled out of bed after a 3 month hibernation. You were walking like a literal zombie, slumping around barely giving him a tour. You were wearing a big t-shirt that did your figure no justice, with the word “nope.” printed in the middle, which might have been the most stupid T-shirt he’d ever seen. When he asked you what your shirt meant you only shrugged, saying it was a dollar at the thrift store. Your Pj pants had been way too long, he’d almost missed your mis-matched spongebob socks. Your hair in the messiest bun he’d ever seen, baby hairs framing your face so well. You were wearing clear framed glasses that were way too big, you had to keep pushing them up on your nose. You wore one single ring on your thumb, in the shape of a skull. It was an odd choice, but he was so heavily intrigued by it.

Hyunjin had never met anyone as unbothered as you either. He always tried to make you jealous, but you never seemed to care. He’d talk about bringing girls home and warn that she would probably be super loud, and you’d simply shrug, “Okay have fun, just don't give her my food.” you’d say.

He’s also never seen you with a guy over, ever. You did have your cousin Changbin over quite often, but that's your cousin. Hyunjin always wondered if you’d ever even touched a man. Surely you had, but he never asked because he really, really didn’t like to think about it. He would always struggle to hide his jealousy when any guy showed you any interest. You’d always reject them though, much to Hyunjin’s relief. Anytime a girl came up to him, he’d search you for any sort of jealous reaction, and never succeeded. In fact, you’d tease him about it later without any problem.

But Hyunjin was cocky. He was sure you liked him. Did he have any proof or reason to think so? Technically no, but he was Hwang Hyunjin and that was reason enough for him.

-present-

“Hey Y/nnnnn” Hyunjin pokes at your sides, trying to get your attention.

“Whaaaat.” You sigh, rolling your eyes, turning from your computer to face him.

“Guess what”

“Chicken Butt.”

“No, seriously guess.”

“I’m busy hwang, cut to the chase.”

“Luna and I are going out again tonight, I think things are gonna get serious soon.”

“That’s great Hyunjin, can’t wait to meet her.” He searches your face for any sign of discomfort or annoyance, and only finds sincerity.

“You want to meet her?” He blinks, expecting you to get mad or something. (cocky right?)

“Why wouldn't I? Since when has the great ‘Hwang Hyunjin’ been serious about anyone?”

Since you.

“I don’t know, I’ll ask her if we can make plans for you guys to meet soon.” He hopes you don’t hear the disappointment in his voice.

“Great, well I’m gonna invite some of the guys over tonight for a horror movie and beer pong, you and Luna are welcome to join after your date, unless you guys go back to her house instead.” You wink at him and it causes a red hue to tint his face. You figure it’s caused by the comment about fucking his ‘girlfriend’, but it’s of course it isn’t.

-time skip, three hours later.-

You had seriously been having one of the best times of your life tonight, but you couldn’t help but be disappointed that Hyunjin wasn’t there.

“What’s up? Why so glum?” Jisung asks, nudging your arm with his elbow.

“Nothing.” you flash him a weak smile.

“Lemme guess, you miss Hyunjin? Where is he anyway?” Jisung asks, looking around.

“He’s out with Luna.”

“Who’s that?”

You blink at him, not knowing if he was being sarcastic or not, “The girl Hyunjin has been going out with?”

“Doesn’t ring a bell.”, you’re shocked that Hyunjins childhood best friend has never heard of his new ‘girlfriend’.

“He’s literally gone on dates her three days in a row, like literally yesterday they went to the movies.”

“No, I was with Hyunjin yesterday, unless you know that and are trying to insult me.” He grins.

“Wait What? Why would he lie then?”

“No clue, but you should know better. He’d never date anyone having you around.” You looked at him confused, causing him to sigh and roll his eyes. “Nevermind.”

“Nooo tell me.” You whined, tugging at his arms.

“How do you not see it?”

“Han Jisung can you please tell me what the fuck you’re talking about.” Your patience was wearing thin, but you still needed to know.

“How do you not notice the way Hyunjin looks at you? He always stares at you like he wants to fucking EAT you it’s gross. But then, he won't shut. up. about you. Everytime we’re together it’s ‘Y/n this, Y/n tha,’ it's sickening. Like, you both should just get married already for Christ’s sake.”

You stare at him for a bit, not knowing what to say.

“You think Hyunjin likes me?” Your voice breathier than you intend.

“Oh my god yes. Why do you think he has a pile of your clothes in his closet? Or he excuses himself everytime he sees you in his clothes to jerk off? Or when he sits next to you while you're working just to WATCH you. I’ve literally never seen him so obsessed with someone. He literally brings a tissue sprayed with your perfume when he goes out. It’s concerning honestly.”

Everything starts to dawn on you then and there, was Hyunjin trying to make you jealous with the whole Luna thing? Is THAT why he always tried to tell you gross details you didn’t want to know?

Well shit, you thought. Obviously you had to come up with some sort of plan for when he came home.

-time skip, hour and a half later-

You somehow came up with a good enough excuse to send everyone home, and now Hyunjin was expected to walk through the door any minute. You’re currently laying on his bed, in literally nothing but his T-shirt and underwear, your nipples very visible. You’re reading (not really) a book, with your legs up, resting the book on your lap. You are very aware of the almost clear view of your pink laced underwear.

You heard Hyunjin walk in, assuming you're asleep since everyone’s gone and the apartment was dead quiet. Your heart beats faster as you hear his footsteps getting nearer, until he stops in his tracks after seeing you.

“Y-Y/n?” He couldn’t help the nervousness in his voice.

“Hyunjinnn!” You smile, putting your book down and getting up to hug him. “Why were you out so late?”

“O-Oh me and Luna, went to her house after.” You scoffed and rolled your eyes. “Of course you did, you know, I don’t like her very much.”

“Why?” Hyunjin was genuinely confused by your sudden confession.

“I don’t know, it just bothers me how much time you spend with her. I bet she’s not even that pretty, definitely not as pretty as me.” Hyunjin tries to bite back a smile, but you catch him anyway.

Without warning you pulled him close, and whispered in his ear, “Bet that’s what you wanted to hear, right?” His breath hitches, not used to having you so close, especially like this.

He almost whines when you pull away, walking back towards his bed. “Sorry I borrowed one of your shirts, figured you wouldn’t mind given the fact that you take my clothes all the time.” You point to the pile of clothes you had pulled out from his closet that belong to you.

You almost laugh at Hyunjin’s shocked expression. “I can explain!” He stammered nervously, trying to find an explanation. “First you lie to me, then you steal my clothes, honestly what am I going to do with you?” You stare at him, placing your hands on your hips.

“What lie? I lied to you?”

You let out a dark chuckle, causing Hyunjin’s dick to twitch in his pants. He was so focused on the way you looked in his shirt, that he didn’t notice how painfully obvious his bulge was.

“I didn’t know Jisung was with you and Luna yesterday, and neither did he actually. In fact, he claims he’s never even heard of a Luna.” Hyunjin can’t do anything but gulp. He really didn’t know your plan here.

“Sit on the bed Hyun.” You say simply. And like a lost puppy, he mindlessly listened to you.

He’s taken aback when you straddle his lap, but couldn’t help his arms snaking around your waist. “You see Hyun, I like you very much but I didn’t think you felt the same. Especially because I don’t see myself as the type you’d like. But Jisung told me quite a few of your dirty secrets.” Your voice was laced with dominance as you brushed your fingers through his hair. “I like you alot.” He practically blurts out, like he’d die if he didn’t say it. “Hmm yeah? How much?”, you purr, dragging your thumb over his bottom lip.

“I Like you so much it hurts, no, I love you so much it hurts. To see you every day and not be able to just hold you and tell you how much I love you? Or to not just pin you to the counter and blow your back out when you wear those stupid thrift store t-shirts that are longer than your tiny shorts? To not be able to see your face when you sing those stupid songs in the shower?” You shut him up with a kiss, because you swear if he keeps going you’ll give up your dominance.

You were surprised at first, the way he kisses you. It was so gentle, so intimate, it almost makes you want to stop this all and just cuddle him for the rest of the night.

But then the kiss becomes needy and desperate. You bite his bottom lip slightly, and waste no time slipping your tongue in his mouth. You can’t lie, you’ve fantasized about his lips alone for so long. So plump, so beautiful.

Hyunjin groans when you softly grind on him, pushing your hips closer to him. He pulls away from your lips and quickly attaches them to your neck, pulling a beautiful lacy whimper from you. His teeth grazing and nipping at the sensitive skin.

You reach down to tug his shirt off, which he quickly complied. You take it upon yourself to take off your (hyunjin’s) shirt as well.

“Fuck me.” He groans, staring at your chest. You chuckle at him before bringing his right hand up to cup your breast. That was enough of a green light for him to take your left nipple into his mouth, pinching the other one.

You let out a surprised yelp at the sensation, starting to grind down on Hyunjin again, but this time much harder. He groans into your chest, egging you on further.

You bring your hand down to touch yourself lightly over your underwear, mouth falling open. “Let me help.” Hyunjin grunted, his hand moving from your breast to your underwear. He somehow manages to get your underwear off rather quickly, and begins to run his fingers up and down your folds.

“So wet, bet you’re nice and warm already.” He breaths, slicking his fingers in your arousal. Hyunjin slips a finger into you rather easily, groaning at how your insides felt. You moan rather loudly, not expecting his singular finger to feel so nice inside of you. He added another finger, pumping them both in and out.

“Fuck.” You breathed, grinding down on his fingers. He suddenly curls them, pressing up on a spot that makes you squim.

“Yes Hyune, like that baby.” You moan satisfied with the feeling.

Hyunjin is having way to much fun finger fucking you, he nearly whines when you pull off of them.

“Gonna cum on your cock hyun, can you take that?”

Usually Hyunjin wouldn’t ever have a girl talk to him that way. He wasn’t a fan of being submissive. But it’s not any girl this time. It’s you.

He desperately nods. You hum in satisfaction, pulling out his dick in awe. You grind on his member softly, spreading yourself all over it. Hyunjin whines, and you give him a pitiful look before positioning yourself over his dick.

The moment you sink down on him, he’s far gone, enveloped in your delicious heat. He looks so beautiful, eyes drooping, mouth hung open with a hint of drool slipping from the sides.

“Stay with me pretty boy, or I won’t let you cum.”

You had him at pretty boy, and he was snapped back into reality, licking and nipping at your nipples once again. Your back arched at the sensation, not really wanting to go slow anymore.

You began bouncing up and down on him, fingers tangled tightly in his hair. You both were moaning messes, thrusting up sloppily into each other, trying to meet each other’s pace.

You clench down as you felt him twitch, slightly relieved that you were both close.

“Are you close, baby?” You coo at him, never slowing your pace. Hyunjin nods timidly. “Me too baby, please cum with me.” Your voice whimpering slightly at the end.

You swear you had the best orgasm of your life, riding out your high along with him.

You both laid next to each other, panting heavily.

“So,” you spoke, breaking the silence, “..can I have my clothes back?”

“No, you only get to wear mine from now on.”

A/n: guys I’m sorry I’m so bad at ending stuff but I rlly like this one actually :) it might be my favorite but there’s still so much room for improvement

[ryuryuryuyurboat]

8 letters, 3 words!

synopsis: confessions are tricky.

genre: fluff

characters: lyney x gn! reader

warnings: modern (college) au, reader is referred to in 2nd person, navia + lynette cameo

a/n: hehe hi @ariicandy! i'm your secret admirer for @ecrin-de-litterature's kiss don't tell event :> hope you like this gift hehe happy valentine's!! likes, reblogs and comments highly appreciated!!

©2024 ryuryuryuyurboat. do not repost, translate, plagiarise, or modify in any way, shape or form.

masterlist

“oh my, y/n, you really do have expensive taste.” navia grins at you from across the table. “did you win the lottery, or something?”

you huff. “no, i found them on my table.” the second you open the lid of the (previously) beautifully decorated tin box, the sweet fragrance of macarons wafts into your nostrils— you almost miss the way your friend’s jaw drops as she openly gapes at the treats. 

“what?” 

“you… er, well, do you know what those are?” navia gleefully looks between you and the macarons.

there’s a soft clink as lynette sets down her teacup. “5 bucks they have no clue,” she bets, earning a soft “tsk” from you and a smug navia crossing her arms as she leans back in her chair. 

“of course i do! they’re macarons! hey–” you protest, as navia dissolves into giggles and lynette sighs, “hey– listen, listen, i may have flunked midterms but that doesn’t mean i—stop laughing!—that doesn’t mean i don’t know a sweet treat when i see one, okay!”

lynette leans forward, an odd glint in her eyes. “these aren’t your ordinary macarons, you know. there’s only one bakery that sells them like this, and people queue for hours just so they can get their hands on one of these– they only sell eleven boxes each day, mind you. it’s like you’re saying your louis vuitton is just some random bag you picked off the streets. a single box can quite literally cost you the skin of your a–”

you cut her off. “i think we know what you mean, just take some if you wanna try ‘em, okay?” 

“still, who’d gift you something so expensive?” navia muses, chewing on the lemon macaron she’d nicked while you weren’t looking. 

“probably the same mystery guy who gave me that plushie bouquet the other day, and then those chocolates from yesterday, and also probably that box of pâte de fruits…” you hum in thought, utterly oblivious to your friends’ astounded gazes.

“...y/n, i think you might have a secret admirer.” 

“wha– hey, wait! what was with that tone when you said ‘who’d give me something that pricey’? you tryna say i’m not worth those?!?”

laughter echoes across the empty cafeteria as you lunge at navia and screech something about wanting her to return the macaron. none of you notice the pair of periwinkle eyes fixed on your figure from afar.

—

“ooooh, does someone have a secret admirer~?” navia peeks over your shoulder at the white envelope lying innocently on your desk. “y’know,” she continues, unfazed by your side-eye, “if it’s the same guy that got you those macarons, maybe you should consider getting–”

“shut up,” you grumble, feeling your ears heat up, “i don’t even know who gave me all these.” 

“do people not normally sign their names somewhere?”

“just the initials.” you unfold the enclosed paper, pointing to the very bottom, where the letters LS were printed. “who’s that supposed to be? lonely spirit?”

you don’t see a certain someone’s eyes dim when you don’t bother reading the letter and shove the envelope into your bag.

—

13 february. 7 days since you started receiving letters. 7 days since you got your first plushie bouquet (how the sender knew your favourite blooms and even your favourite character was a mystery you had yet to solve). and 1 day before valentine’s. 

the letter you got today was way simpler than the flowery words that filled the pages from before:

3 boxes, 8 letters. think you’ll be able to figure it out, ma chérie? that’s the key to your last gift.

(hint: the way each letter starts is important. good luck♡)

“the way each letter starts?” lynette shrugs, “no idea. probably something like the first letter of the first word.”

“lynette,” you begin, “you’re a genius!”

one problem, though. you only received 5 letters. oh, well, didn’t hurt to try, right?

“let’s see…” you lay out the letters on the table, trying hard to ignore the contents that made you blush so furiously in the safety of your bedroom. “u, l, v, o, i, e…” you mutter, before navia gives you a light shove.

“no way it’s taking you so long, isn’t it already so obvious?”

“???”

“rearrange the letters—where’s my pen— and what do you get?”

you stare mutely at the letters. “...i love u.” you read, before you’re hit with a realisation.

“wait– boxes are containers, and then words are like containers for letters– and then, and then… and then i love you makes up eight letters in three letters! i’m a genius!”

“if you’re such a genius, you should’ve noticed a certain someone staring at you.” lynette nods at a point behind you, “go get your man, y/n. i don’t wanna hear complaints about being single for valentine’s.”

you turn– and there stood lyney snezhevich, in all his glory, a bouquet in his hand. he offers you an apprehensive smile as he extends his arms for you to accept the flowers—your final gift— and averts his eyes. 

“seems you’ve managed to crack the code, ma chérie. now, then, if you hadn’t known from the letters… will you be my valentine?”

taglist: @yinyinggie @lynyluvr @kazemiya @meidnightrain @thexianzhoujade @dailypenpen (send ask to be added to taglist!)

if you liked this, do consider dropping me a follow for more :>

[1-danid]

Dating Teen Vi

Dating Arc 1 Vi would include..

Vander loving you as another kid. You may have your own patents but he still sees you as one of his children. Meaning he gives Vi the talk instead of you because he feels she'll need it more.

Teen Vi is 100% shy when it comes to PDA. She will hold your hand in public but that's about it. On the rare occasion when she's a bit jealous she may give your check or lip a kiss but it's rare.

When it's just the two of you or 3 of you powder can see her soft side. She'd go all out and be attacking your face with kisses and love.

At this stage you guys wouldn't know your love language so expect a bit of everything at this stage as you're trying it all out for the first time.

I don't think she can cook, no one in that band can. So often you'd cook meals for the group and bake treats for her and Powder.

If you go on the "jobs" with the group, Vi would be protective of you. Yeah she knows you can kickass but she doesn't want to lose you or to get you hurt.

Also Mylo would be annoying cause she'd stop for a sec to admire your beauty and he'd be like

" I could do better than that. She's just showing off at this point."

You'd flip him off whilst flipping to another building. And when you get to wherever you are going to rob she'd let you take personal things for yourself and not to sell. Honestly she wouldn't care what you do she'd just watch you for a minute with a love sick smile on her face.

The others would 100% tease her about it. And she's blushing a bit and playing it off. They'd believe for the first few times until it becomes a daily routine.

She'd get you little gifts when you don't do jobs together and surprise you with them

If you don't go on jobs with the group you'd originally babysit Powder. Keeping her distracted and happy while the others are out risking your lives.

You weren't a fighter so you never asked to go to jobs. However you did learn how to treat basic ailments to help Vi and Claggor when they got badly hurt.

 Vi would 100% get you little gifts from the jobs she does without you surprising you with them. She'd be like;

"We were out at this one house, and I saw something. It reminded me so much of you. It was perfect and beautiful so I thought you should have it."

And then she'll give you a beautiful necklace. Or something romantic that you appreciate because of your relationship.

You'd bake her cupcakes whenever she's had a hard day and you think she needs to relax. The two of you will just cuddle as you sing a soft song to her. For example, falling for you by peachy!

Because you're always baking her  sweet stuff and 'cause she loves your cake and cups she calls you…

CUPCAKE 

I'm not sorry for that. But on the note of pet name's teen Vi will call you anything to see you flustered.

 She just loves you so much and you love her too

She’s definitely the big spoon and powder loves you more than vi (you didn’t hear that from me)

Like she see Vi as her hero but she sees how Vi looks at you and see you as Vi hero

You’re literally the coolest kid in Vander’s house

Plus you can work the bar, you have a lot of free time, so you’re able to earn a little for shifts at the bar

When Vi leaves powder behind you’d both have a big cussing 100%

Like you know how scared and confused Powder is and refuse to go and help because Powder needs support as well

Powder (bless her) would 100% influence you and beg you to bring her to the fight

One look at her puppy dog eyes, and you would cave and bring her in once she promises to stay hidden

You’d bring her and miss all the signs and when the bomb goes off, you’re their trying to protect her

Vi slaps (I refuse to write the p word) both you and her sister

Cue another heated argument you’d slap her back and cuss her out for touching you and Powder

And you’d break up.

So pissed you tell her to “fucking go to hell Violet.”

And she pretty much does, you’d try your best to comfort powder

Trying to stay strong for her, yet you’d let a few tears fall at your newly broken heart, your loss of home and your loss of your friends

You don’t notice Silco and when you do you don’t trust him fully.

But you know you and Powder need a place to stay so when he accepts Powder’s hug, you lower your guard

Moreso when you see a familiar face, passed out Sevika eases your nerves

You never do find out what happened at the warehouse, but you do know you lost everyone except Powder

You wonder if you’d ever see Vi again as you take on the older sister responsibilities for Powder’s sake

A/N

I hope you enjoyed this. I feel its better than the version i posted last time. To old moots this is not a goodbye. THIS IS A REVAMP!!

TIL NEXT TIME MY LOVES

-Dani

[rhiannonsknife]

IM BAAAACK life has been creatively rotting my brain but i reappear! this time not with smut (rip but it will be back) but with mind-numbing fluff

i've been thinking a lot about the fact that rhiannon is painfully lonely in canon and it always makes me go insane and crazy... i need to be the one to show her the affection she's been craving for so long! it starts off small - making her coffee because you notice how she always brings coffee to her coworkers with no thank you's. then you start bringing her little gifts, small things like staplers or hole punches that you've heard her complaining about because the ones she's been given don't work. it's at this point that she's already head over heels for you, and you've barely done anything but show her human decency. you don't even have to think about your response when she asks you out on a date; it's an immadiate yes. when the two of you start dating, you always find a way to go above and beyond. flowers in a nice vase when she gets a raise at work, a bath drawn with a bath bomb and candles because she texted you that she wasn't feeling well, and frequent date nights with the best wine you can afford. she's not at all used to anyone in her life being this kind to her, and the first few times you show her affection, she busts out into tears (and even after that, she gets misty-eyed every time). you just love her so much that you want to make sure that she gets treated like she should've always been treated this whole time

also making the executive decision to sign off with 🪐 from now on

welcome 🪐 anon!! <3 i adore your thoughts omg!! seeing you in my inbox never fails to make my day!!! 😁

this is something i think about alllll the time!! my number 1 love language is definitely either gift-giving or acts of service but like…i‘d go CRAZY with these for rhiannon!!! i could fix her guys!!

she’s so startled to find that first coffee on her desk that marks the beginning of your relationship. her eyes would be so wide in surprise. sure, she’s been the one to make coffee for her colleagues all the time, but not once had anyone acknowledged that, let alone bothered to return the favor. ever. but you’ve seen her. of course you have. your heart had ached for her every time she’d brought coffee for her coworkers only to be ignored all over again. it was about time someone did something nice for her.

her reaction, however, has you wondering how long it truly has been since somebody did something for rhiannon. anything at all.

she’s sputtering on and on about how you “didn’t have have to do that” and how she’ll “definitely pay you back” for going out of your way to bring some good coffee from the café down the road instead of the shitty kind from the office’s machine.

from this point forward, you always bring her coffee whenever you go out for your break. it becomes your little routine: walking past her desk, calling out her name, and watching how her head will instantly snap in your direction. the smile she flashes you every time is what gets you through your shifts. you learn rhiannon’s coffee order by heart before you make up a nickname for her that only you ever use so she'll know you're approaching just be the way you're cheerfully calling "rhee" through the office. you learn, over time, that she’s got a massive sweet tooth and start bringing a cookie to her coffee as well.

it becomes your thing. something the two of you share in the otherwise rather boring everyday life. if rhiannon is still out by the time you come back, you’ll leave the things on her desk and she will know that you’ve thought of her when she comes back. she could quite literally combust whenever she gets back to a warm coffee and a snack left for here because for the first time, someone cares!! someone sees!! just when she thinks she couldn’t fall even more in love with you from afar, you come up with yet another thing to brighten up her days: she hadn’t thought anyone would overhear her cursing the cheap hole punchers everyone’s been given until she finds a brand new, perfectly working one along her coffee one day.

she looks at you from across the room, clearly in disbelief, and just barely catches your knowing smile as you quickly turn away.

when you start dating, shortly after this incident, it is only because rhiannon finally has it in herself to approach you: she is so nervous to talk to you that she literally has to give herself a mental pep talk before approaching your desk at all. on top of that, she's too flustered to actually call it what she wants it to be -a date- and you have to take over, sensing her endearing nervousness. “i was- uhm- well i was wondering if you’d wanna come grab a coffee? i was about to leave but i think your lunch break is about to start too, isn’t it? not that i was like- stalking your lunch break schedule, or whatever! i just thought it would be nice…” she's blushing like crazy, ready for immediate rejection. instead, you smile at her and ask: “as a date?” god, rhiannon could melt right then and there!!! she would, but you instantly get up when she confirms this, so there's no time to.

after this, there’s quite literally no stopping you.

once she’s your girlfriend officially you make it your job to ensure rhiannon never feels lonely or invisible ever again. that first time she comes home to you being there, it’s already enough for her to feel appreciated: to come back to a house that actually feels like home with somebody waiting for her. and that’s before she walks in and sees all that you’ve prepared for her: homemade dinner, candles set up on the table, a fresh bouquet of her favorite flowers…

rhiannon starts sobbing instantly. you’re so worried, thinking you’ve overstepped or done something wrong to upset her. that is until she wraps her arms around you and covers you in kisses, hoarsely thanking you for the surprise. “i don’t deserve you” she claims through the tears. “i really, really don’t deserve you”

but of course she does and, of course, you’ll do it again. whether it’s by “small” gestures like sending her playlists of songs that make you think of her, remembering her favorite snacks when you’re out grocery shopping or taking care of her after a rough day, running her a bath and washing her hair for her or bigger things you prepare for her. surprise date nights that take some time to prepare but it’s all worth it when you get to watch rhiannon’s reaction. a planned trip for her birthday, where you take her somewhere nice that she always wanted to visit. literally anything to make her happy and give her the life she always deserved!!!!! <333

[ahgasegotarmy116]

He Doesn't Deserve You | A Jeon Jungkook Series | Chapter Three

Summary: You feel guilty about having a night out and hope to cover up your tracks as best you can Pairing: Noona reader x Jeon Jungkook (She's 28 and he's 22) Word Count: 2.1k~ Warnings: Yändere, smut, explicit language pretty much it lol a/n: I hope you guys like it! I'm literally horrible at writing smut but I wanted to show another side to how things can be with him sometimes (I'm saying him because I'm not gonna spoil it when you can just read it lol) regardless hope this doesn't disappoint 🫢 Requested by @kkusadmirer 💜

"Girl who was that?" Rae asks, when she walk over to my side of the bar after Jungkook left. 

"His name is Jungkook and honestly I don't really know much about him. He caught me off guard and was asking me a bunch of questions that I didn't really think to ask him any" I say, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear. "You think he's cute don't you?" she asks taking note of my shyer demeanor while thinking about him. 

"He is attractive and dreamy but I'm married" I say flashing the ring at her in a similar fashion as I had done with Jungkook. "Dreamy? Really?" she teases, snorting at my description. "I'm sorry okay he's the first nice guy I've actually talked to in a while since my husband and I got married" I say, resting my elbows on the bar and throwing my face in my hands. 

"From what I heard, doesn't really sound like he's all that good of a husband" she says, not bothering to spare my feelings. "He's not that bad" I mumble, scarcely believing my words with every effort I put in to defend him.

"If you've gotta say it like that after only two people have said otherwise I don't really think you've got much going for you" she says setting a glass of water in front of me, already seeing signs of a need to stop drinking for the night.

"I mean, he's all I've ever known. He was my first serious boyfriend, my first everything if I'm being honest. We met in college and really hit it off and everything just felt right. After we graduated he asked me to marry him and it felt like a fairy tale ending you know?" I say, swirling around the ice in my cup in an effort to avoid her gaze.

"Sounds like it didn't turn out the way you thought it was going to though" she says, clearly feeling sorry for me. 

"Things between us are fine" I say sitting back up and clearing my throat before taking a drink of water to hopefully help me swallow down this lump in my throat. Getting a reality check from two perfect strangers with them only knowing the tip of the iceberg of my marriage has been hard to accept to say the least. 

"What's his name anyways? I might've seen him before if he likes to go out sometimes" she asks, coming back over with a pitcher to fill up my water, encouraging me to drink more. 

"Taehyung, well Tae for short" I say, hoping and praying that the name won't ring a bell. "Got a picture of him?" she asks, leaning in closer when I pull out my phone. "Shit" she says under her breath as soon as she sees him. 

"What?" I ask pulling it back as though her words had stung me. "He's come here a few times with some friends of his. They're one of the rowdier groups that comes by so we've had to kick them out on occasion" she says clearing her throat at the end, almost as if she's trying to hold something back. 

"If you know anything else about him please tell me" I implore, refusing to be in the dark about this if she knows. "He's gone 'home' with a few girls here" she says putting home in quotes since he's obviously never brought them back to our place. "Do you know how many?" I ask, knowing that I really don't want to know the answer. 

"I've lost track..." she answers, hating that she had to be the one to reveal this to me. "Did you know?" she asks with her brows pinched together. "That he's been sleeping around? Yeah, I know" I say taking a big gulp of my water as if it were the solution to this fucked up life I'm living. 

"Why haven't you left?" she asks, genuinely concerned. "He's my husband" I say with glossy eyes but then clear my throat again to hopefully curb these emotions. "And? He's a dick" she says, continuing with her efforts to never pull punches. "You don't know him like I do" I say, standing up and grabbing my purse to go. 

"Just, be careful okay?" she implores, placing her hand on top of mine before I get too far. "I will" I say and give her a sad smile before walking out and waiting for the cab I called a few moments ago. 

~~~~~~

Walking into the house I'm relieved to see that Taehyung is no where to be found, the lights still having been turned off from when I had locked up. 

Taking off my shoes, I quickly put them in the closet in an effort to quickly cover my tracks and I run into the bedroom soon after that. I take off my clothes and throw them into the washer to again avoid any suspicions because I don't want him even remotely knowing that I managed to leave the house on my own again.

Walking into the bathroom to take a shower as well I see that somehow some of the makeup I had applied rubbed off and I was unknowingly sporting one of the hickeys Taehyung had left. I look at it in the mirror a bit closer, starting to wonder how long it's been showing. 'Did Jungkook see it?' I question,  really hoping the answer is no even though he knows I'm married, it's not something I want to show off.

It could've been worse though, he could've seen the other bruises I have that clearly show evidence of much more than just rough sex. 'How would he have reacted? Would he have said something?' I continue, asking myself question after question, soon starting to regret my decisions of going out tonight. 

Did I have a good time? Sure. But it doesn't make up for the amount of fear and guilt I'm going to feel if Taehyung finds out. Will he do something? Will he get angry? Will he leave? Knowing him he would accuse me of cheating on him even though I'm the one who confirmed my suspicions. 

He, like Rae is someone that doesn't pull punches literally and figuratively. It's something that I've leaned to live with, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.

"Hey" I hear him say softly while opening the bathroom door, scaring me and not even realizing how lost in thought I had been. To the point of not even realizing that he had gotten home. 

"Hi" I say timidly, not knowing what his next move might be. 

"Aren't you going to invite me in?" he questions in a mischievous tone, already taking his shirt off. I open the glass door as a way to invite him in and I hold out my hand waiting for him, knowing I really have no choice in the matter. 

"Hi beautiful" he says after getting in, placing his hands on my hips and leaning down to kiss me softly on the lips. I sigh into the kiss, thankful he's back home again and showing his softer side to me again, clearly trying to make up for how we had left things the last time we saw each other. 

"I missed you" he says in a husky voice leaning down further to place a few open mouthed kisses on my neck marking me again, no doubt to make up for the ones that had started to fade. "Missed you" I say through a breathy tone then my breath hitches moments later when he bites down on my shoulder.

"You smell so sweet baby" he says running his nose along the length of my neck before making his way back up to kissing me. "It's my" *kiss* "new" *kiss* "body wash" I say, trying my best to answer but he purposefully works against me, loving the struggle I put up.

"I like it. Buy it again for me when you run out okay? I want my pretty wife smelling like this all the time" he says before flipping me around and pressing my chest agains the wall.

"You gonna be good and let me take you in here?" he asks grinding his dick against my ass making my breath pick up, not expecting this drastic change in behavior. I nod my head with my cheek against the tiles. He presses his chest flush up against my back, pushing me up against the wall even harder, making my chest feel sore as my nipples rub up against the cool surface, making me whine from the sensation.

"Aw look at you, so needy and ready to be full" he say, leaning back a bit and running his finger along my slit, feeling how I'm already clenching around nothing and dripping with arousal as the water falls on my back in a steady stream. "Fuck you look so hot right now" he says looking at my face and dragging his eyes down my figure before spreading my legs a bit and making moves to put it in. 

"Wait" I whimper. "Don't worry, you can take it" he says, placing a kiss on my shoulder before sliding the tip in and making me take in a sharp breath at the intrusion, him continuing to push himself further and further inside until he's bottomed out. 

He enjoys the feeling of my walls spasming around him as I feel the burn from trying to get used to him again. It isn't like this often, he usually loves to take his time prepping and teasing me until I'm begging for more but he had an almost urgency to be inside me this time. 

"Fuck" he says as he starts to move in and out of me, watching the way my ass moves with every thrust and is addicted to the moans that come from me naturally, being caught off guard by all of this and not expecting this to happen tonight. 

"Feels s-so good" I say, clawing at the walls for something to hold onto, knowing there's nothing there for me. He takes notice and he places his hands on top of mine, thrusting in and out with only his own hips supporting mine as he growls in my ear. 

"Been dying to fuck this pretty little cunt all day. Then I come home and you're in the shower making it so easy for me to just slip it in, practically begging for my cock" he says as he slows down his thrust but puts more force behind each one. 

"Isn't that right? You just want to be good for me and take it, let me have my way with you" he says pulling out and flipping me around, enjoying the dick drunk look on my face. He lifts one of my legs up and wraps it around his waist, pounding into me harder making me grab onto his neck and pull him in for a kiss, silencing my moans, making him swallow them as he coaxes more and more out of me. 

"S-shit" he stutters and tells me to jump, wrapping my other leg around his waist as well so he can thrust into me harder. I clench around him when he wraps his mouth around one of my sensitive buds, hard and begging for stimulating. 

"Fuck, more" I whine, desperately needing release. "You wanna cum?" he taunts, letting go of my throbbing bud with a pop. "Tae please" I moan digging my nails into his shoulders. He groans at the feeling and grips onto my waist digging his fingers into them, no doubt leaving bruises.

Giving me a few more thrusts he has my eyes rolling back and my toes curling as my orgasm hits me like a ton of bricks with him still fucking into me, helping me ride it out before he cums a couple minutes later. 

Slipping out and sliding me down the wall and back on my feet he leans up against me while our breathing mixes with the sound of the water still falling all around us. He places a few soft kisses on my shoulder before pushing off the wall and placing both of his hands on my cheek, kissing me softly, helping me slowly come back down and leaving my my mind foggy and drunk on him. 

"I love you" he says when he breaks apart from my lips. "I love you too" I smile, humming in contentment and feeling so good, loving that despite everything he loves me no matter what. 

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[nastasya--filippovna]

WHO IS CROWLEY AFTER THE FALL?

so there is a LOT of debate over who Crowley was before The Fall. I have seen a lot of headcanons going around the place saying he was Raphael or Kokabiel or Baraqiel.

I mean this is the Exhibit A for saying that Crowley is Baraqiel. I think NOT.

Because this is a handbook written by demons for demons. The title is literally (if my memory serves me right) a guide to angelic beings that walk the earth. SO Crowley is not That..

Other than the red hair thing, no other physical characteristic matches. This Baraqiel guy sounds like an absolute gremlin. grisly slug, occasionally damp. NOT CROWLEY. I mean she's the most dashing thing around.

NO. #3 It says CROWLEY one line above the name Baraqiel. If Crowley is Baraqiel then why would his demon name appear right under that?????

And I think somewhere Neil Gaiman refuted this theory (I'm not really sure but I think so plz don't come at me with pitchforks if I got it wrong). So.......

But this is all beside the point. What I'm trying to say is that too much has been said about who Crowley was before he fell. There is very little, if not none, that has been said about who he was After.

Some say that he's an insignificant demon or some loser guy in Hell or whatever the equivalent of an angel principality deputy on Earth is.

I BEG TO DIFFER.

He is Important. Just look at the kind of assignments he's given. Original Sin, Major Historical Temptations and Evil Acts, Delivering the Antichrist and bringing about Armageddidn't.

But who is he exactly??????????

So canonically we're never told what Crowley's rank in Hell is. But there are more that enough hints for us to figure that out for ourselves.

But where does one place him when the hierarchy is so complex and varying across different historical and theological sources.

Such as here:

I have been thinking about this and I have two current theories

Crowley is Astaroth

Crowley is The Leviathan

I'll discuss only one in this post. I'll save the other for the next post.

Now book!Omens clearly tells us that Crowley or Crawley is not his real demonic name. For those who haven't read the book this happens when Hastur Lavista and Ligur come to hand over the antichrist to Crowley in the churchyard and as he's about to sign his name as "Crowley" they tell him to sign his real demonic name.

Are you with me?!!!!!

NANNY ASHTORETH!

Why did she use this particular name for her nanny disguise. What if...... what if this IS her real demon name.

A lot of my real life friends are annoyed beyond measure by my constant ranting about etymologies, origin and construction of discourse and epistemology, especially when it comes to presenting my thesis over how all Abrahamic religions and their symbology and iconography is, how do I put it, inspired from pagan religions that they expunged. I mean the concept of angles, the man shaped being with wings that is actually just a ball of fire or eyes or hale discs or sth is a pagan Persian concept.

Back to the matter at hand.

Ashtoreth, Astaroth, Astarte, Ishtar, are all the same name in different dialects and languages. All of these refer to a certain Babylonian goddess. When the People of God probably cleansed off all the infidels they decided to literally demonize their god and name a demon after her. In Milton's Paradise Lost Astaroth is one of the three princes or Grand Dukes of Hell alongside Beelz and Lucifer. If this theory might be true Crowley is a Prince/Grand Duke of Hell.

Now this gets even more interesting. Ashtoreth, Astarte, whatever you may, is a goddess of fertility and is associated with childcare. I mean at this point I just stopped to marvel at the attention to detail that Mr. Gaiman's work hold, the smallest hidden meanings in the storytelling.

Another thing. The Babylonians built these temples called ziggurats to worship Astarte and they looked something like this

and this

they were also known as sky temples.

Because Astaroth was first and foremost the goddess of stars and the Babylonians were stargazers and the temples were constructed as a stairway to heaven to take them closer to the stars and functioned as an observatory at times.

I'm just imagining Crowley turning up in ancient Babylon and with her other-worldly looks, knowledge of the stars and compassion for children they just..... started to worship her.

Before the Christians came and declared them pagans and the rest is history.

Continued in next post for the second theory......

[shwoyo]

hello, i saw your reqs open and i wanted to ask if you could do a seokmin x reader where reader is a shy person who always listens and when they meet seokmin and he listens to their rambling and yeah, thnks in advance! :)

hi anon! thank you for requesting <3 i'm sorry this is kinda rushed + i kinda wasn't able to show readers shy demeanor lol, but i hope you like it!

comfortable with you. — lee seokmin x reader

; fluff, little angst, comfort – warnings: like 1 cuss word – wc: 1,481

note: first req ever, kinda nervous 😅i kindaa rushed it in the end,,, im sorry. BUT ANYWAYS!! i enjoyed writing this! i had so many thoughts on how i wanted to go with this, but stuck with this (kind of) short one. I hope you guys will enjoy this teww! not my best work tho

you love listening to people talking. you've always let people do the talking while you do the listening; its been in your nature since ever. they would talk, and you would hum in agreement or dispute, sometimes speaking your own thoughts. but sometimes, you wish you could just spill your unsaid thoughts to someone. but you can't, for some reason.

–

your junior year has started, new school supplies, new acquaintances, and, of course, a new seatmate. every first day of school always makes you nervous; everything is new, and by that you'd always have to introduce yourself; you hated it.

standing outside your new classroom with your other classmates, the teacher announced that she had already assigned the seating plan. you were kind of grateful, as you quite literally don't know anybody here; you got separated from your friend.

Ms. Shin, your teacher was calling your classmates one by one, then called your name, "next, l/n y/n!" you went up to her. "you'll be sitting next to lee seokmin, he's over there by the window, third row" she stated. you went in the classroom and walked to your seat, which is beside seokmin, your new seatmate. he sat at the aisle part, which left you sitting next to the window, and you were grateful for it.

you sat down and settled your bag behind your chair. honestly, you were pretty nervous because, for the first time, your seatmate was a guy. you were always seated next to girls for some reason.

"hi! i'm lee seokmin. but you can call me seokmin, or any nickname you can think of," he spoke. you quickly turned your head in his direction and just nodded, turning your head to look at the board in front. 'he's so... pretty,' you thought to yourself. it took a second until he spoke again, "what about you? what's your name?" he asked, and you turned to look at him again, quickly realizing that you haven't introduced yourself. "oh, i'm sorry! i'm l/n y/n sorry, did i come off as rude?" you replied, your voice lowering as you spoke. "ah, no, no! it's okay!" he giggled as he responded, waving his hands as a sign that it really is okay. "i'm sorry again," you said, voice low almost like a whisper. "no, i assure you it's fine! everyone gets nervous at the first day of school, even me," he stated. you just nodded, turning your head to look at your table.

your face was red in embarrassment, so much for a first impression with someone who will be next to you your whole junior year. you wished the floor could just eat you whole.

–

months into 11th grade, everyday was a struggle. there were new activities every week, mostly by partners, and you were grateful that in each partner activity, seokmin was your partner. seokmin is the most perfect partner you could ask for; he was always ready and always listened to the instructions of the activity given. you were so grateful for him; you probably wouldn't have survived first term without him.

right now, on a thursday afternoon, you and seokmin were at the library doing the essay activity given by your english teacher, a 15k word essay covering the important events and creations that happened during the renaissance, the deadline being monday. you were trying so hard not to cry as you were stuck on your third paragraph, the whole essay only having 487 words. usually you were quick with this; you love english, you always scored high on the subject. but right now, you were just not motivated enough to write properly.

"Hey, you okay there?" seokmin spoke up, noticing your distraught expression. you only hummed to his question. he was already making it easy for you; he has suggested that we should write 7,500 words each on our part to sum up the 15,000 so it would be easy. you felt bad as you were writing your part so... poorly. "we can take a break if you're stuck," seokmin suggested, "uhm, maybe i'll try to continue mine and you take a break. i wanna at least try and finish this third paragraph," you stated. "hmm, i think no!" he said cheerfully. seokmin closed his laptop, then yours. you looked at him in shock, but he just grabbed your arm, forcing you to stand up, then pulling you towards the door of the library. "s-seokmin! hey! what about our things?" you whisper-shout, "don't worry, we'll be quick!" he replied.

you kinda got used to this; whenever seokmin sensed that you were struggling or stressed, he would always do something to distract you until you were feeling okay. this time, he was pulling you in the hallways of the school, towards the exit, and then walked towards the ice cream stand near the school gate. "hello! can i get one vanilla ice cream and one chocolate ice cream? both no toppings!" seokmin said, the vendor nodded and made his order, "seokmin, i didn't bring my wallet with me." you stated, "its okay! its on me," he replied "no, i'll just pay you when we go back to the library," you said, "nu-uh, this is on me. i won't accept your payment," seokmin responded.

he's always like this. he does something nice for you, but whenever you offer to do something in return, he denies it. this is what you like about him, like as in platonically... yeah, platonically.

–

few more months in junior year, and your feelings towards seokmin kept growing, not platonically. you tried to deny your feelings, but every time you do, he does something that just makes your heart flutter.

and surprisingly enough, you've gotten so comfortable with him that each time you talked, you openly said your thoughts, even you shocked yourself. but, you still weren't comfortable enough to spill your deepest thoughts and rambles, rants you wish you'd said to the person who stressed your thoughts.

still, you were more than happy to be able to finally openly speak your thoughts, even if it weren't your deepest thoughts that hurt you. you were okay with this, you think.

–

but one day during the last 2 weeks of junior year, you were fed up. the world just kept testing and testing you, and you were so tired and just needed to rant, specifically to seokmin.

"and it's just... so fucking tiring! i don't get why they won't do their part. it's almost the end of the school year, and they're acting like this?! i'm just so..." you couldn't finish your sentence as you started to sob. seokmin looked at you with sad eyes, it hurts him to see you like this. 'why couldn't your group mates just do their job properly?' he thought. you sobbed harder as you thought about your uncooperative group mates, then seokmin hugged you.

it was the first time he physically touched you like this; usually he would tap your shoulder, pat your head, or pull your arm when he wants to show something, but hugging you? this was definitely new. but you were too tired to be shocked.

"mhm, i understand y/n." seokmin stated, you sobbed harder than before. for years in your life, you just wanted to hear those words—that someone understood you. you were always the one to listen; you never had the chance to be the one to rant as you grew used to listening. seokmin patted your back, still hugging you. it was so comforting; you wished you could stay there forever.

–

from that day on, you knew that you were super comfortable with seokmin. he's the person you trust your thoughts with the most. not a day goes by where you had to keep your thoughts to yourself anymore; you had seokmin, and he had you, of course. he was there for you, and you were there for him.

the feeling of finally being able to speak up about your deepest, unsaid thoughts and rants was so refreshing. of course, the more comfortable you got with him, the more your feelings grew too.

–

it was on recognition day when you had the courage to finally spill your heart out to seokmin. you were very nervous, but the funny thing was he beat you to it. he confessed first, leaving you shocked. of course you informed him that the feeling is mutual.

you were happy; he was too. your heart was so happy you felt like it would explode. you never have thought that you would find love this early in your life, especially with your old behavior of being shy. but seokmin was there, he was there for you in so many ways. he saved your heart and mind by letting you pour your unsaid rambles to him, and you were so grateful for him, for seokmin, who was now your lover 'till end.

©shwoyo, all rights reserved.

[edgeray]

Ray! 🍅 anon again here xD

Was hanging around twitter and saw @arlecock (yes, wtf is that name) wondering what happens during Arle’s periods (I mean. Valid concern?) she’s probably so used to going on and functioning with them.

Indulgent yes but any Thoughts? I personally do want to spoil her with a massage and warm hugs and cuddling her if she ever had any cramps! (Okay this is just an excuse to spoil her but still) Though I would feel like Arle would be one of the ones who is so used to pain period cramps don’t really faze her anymore…

(Or when there’s a long established relationship post canon and Arle also uses it as an excused to get babied)

Lullabying Arle to sleep… hehehhehehehehehehehehehhehehehe.

She deserves it.

Hi 🍅 anon! I'm not going to be using this as a request since you're only asking for my thoughts, I'll just keep it to kind of a ramble lol.

first of all, arlecock is a valid af (and real af) user, have you seen the users on tiktok? lmfao, there's way worse on there. slightly irrelevant, but i saw a tiktok video of a literal arlecchino pride flag at a pride parade. what would that even be called? arlesexual?

anyways

arle powers through periods like nothing, regardless of how painful her cramps are. she has so many better things to worry about and concern her than whatever her body decides to do once a month (her curse hurts way worse anyways, cramps are incomparable.) I'd imagine she also uses her pyro vision to help relieve her cramps. i doubt many people can tell the difference between when she's on/off her period, except maybe you and her children. She's a bit more snippy, a bit more impatient, but besides that she doesn't really give off any signs of when she's on her period, and if it doesn't bother her, then she feels like there's no need to tell you.

however, you do you tracking them, mostly be noticing when your guys' shared bathroom's feminine products have been depleting. of course, cuddling arle is a given. she loves to cuddle with you and she will most definetely fall asleep to your pretty voice humming/singing to her as you stroke her hair.

to me, arle also seems like the type of person to secretly have a sweet tooth. i don't know why, but she strikes me as those type of people. you'll also buy her lots of dark chocolate candy to also help. you also make her a warm bath before she comes home, and that's where you usually massage her. y'know what's another thing that helps with cramps? sex.

I don't think think I need to say more about that.

but yeah, those are just this silly axolotl's thoughts <3

this may not be... super accurate in terms of what you should do for cramps, considering that I'm very fortunate to not have cramps during my periods.

[aethelwyneleigh27]

Playing Minecraft with Ellie Williams

x Builder!Reader short headcanon list

Loser!Ellie makes an appearance if you squint

ꕥ HOPE YOU ENJOY! ꕥ

My rules for requests and characters I can write for

TLOU Masterlist

Ellie Williams dating playlist made by yours truly

A/n: Hi lovelies! Lia here, this post is completely self-indulgent because I was playing Minecraft earlier and thought of this. I am so obsessed with the Cherry blossom biome shit that I've literally been building with it nonstop. Little update, more Cod and Resident Evil content to be posted soon.

Disclaimers/warnings: OOC?, Unrealistic, I'm so sorry but English is not my first language so please don't come after me.

ꕥ Ellie who is definitely the one carrying the both of you during playing.

ꕥ She's the miner and you're the builder situation, she's over in the mines slaying mobs and collecting loot while you're all the way up in the quaint little survival base you built.

ꕥ Beds next to each other for sure, Ellie insists. You want your own room? Not happening, y'all are sharing one room. Dyes her bed green and effortlessly finding dyes so that you can have your favorite color as your bed.

ꕥ "Babe, look what I found!" Que to her doing the little Minecraft crouch and giving you a flower she found while exploring.

ꕥ Said flower is now proudly displayed in a pot at the kitchen area.

ꕥ Doesn't care if it's corny, you're Minecraft character will virtually kiss hers while little "mwah <3" messages pop up on the chat.

ꕥ Nerd Ellie who custom made Minecraft skins so that they both looked like you guys. (Meanwhile Jesse has a default Steve one)

ꕥ She's a completely different person when gaming with Jesse than she is gaming with you. She would literally spawn kill him just to piss him off but she'd literally hold a little fake funeral if you died (not by her hand, never by hers) and you'd respawn and see a little makeshift graveyard next to your guys' house.

ꕥ Has done speedruns before but she'd rather just chill with you. Whenever you're not around to game with her, she does little things that don't affect the build but definitely something you'll notice when you're back.

ꕥ When it's all four of you playing, you, Ellie, Dina and Jesse. It's automatic that you're always with Ellie. Jesse once accidentally killed your dog and Ellie was pissed, like "purposefully lagging his game" pissed.

ꕥ She definitely steals loot from Jesse. Poor Jesse is always the victim of the shenanigans of the sever while Dina is chilling and doing her own thing.

ꕥ Wants you on her lap whenever you're gaming, though that would be difficult if you gamed on PC so maybe keep it on mobile.

ꕥ Ellie who had to convince you to on survival with her because you always just played on creative. She promised to protect you from the scary mobs, especially creepers.

ꕥ Need materials? You got it, doesn't matter if she has to go to the end or the nether she'll go and get you what you need.

ꕥ Asks you to cook the items she hunted, joking around while with Jesse in the mines (she has lured him into lava more times than you can count) telling him she needs to go back home to her wife (you of course).

ꕥ Loser!Ellie who literally prefers gaming with you rather than anyone else, it's one of her most favorite ways to spend time with you.

ꕥ Ellie who notices how much you love the cherry blossom biome so she makes an effort to get you materials to build with. Saplings, planks, and logs. You name it, she'll get it. Even going as far as to plant it around your guys' house.

ꕥ Always leaves signs around whenever she leaves without your knowledge, she once left a sign out in your garden with "I love you - Ells <3" and you've never taken it off. It just stayed there, being part of the aesthetic of the house you made together.

ꕥ Knows random ass Minecraft facts and tells you whenever something reminds her of it. Not that you mind, you love listening to her.

ꕥ Finds mods that she thinks you'll like, if she doesn't find it she'll try to make her own mods but it's never really successful. At least she tried <3

[saintmagx]

✨ Cruel Summer ✨

pairing: Solo Sikoa x reader, Jey Uso x reader (briefly)

AN: Literally making this for myself, so if I do ever end up publishing - enjoy I guess? 🤪

w/c: 1198

⚠️ Warnings: 18+ , swearing, violence (this is the WWE after all) slight smut, infidelity(if you squint), jealous Jey, toxic behaviour, bad/embarrassing writing ⚠️

doesn’t follow a specific timeline however it is more recent, total divas making a return.

✨ I love you ain’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard - he looks up grinning like the devil ✨

• ❃°•°❀°•°❃•❃°•°❀°•°❃•❃°•°❀°•°❃•❃°•°❀°•°❃•

“I dunno Trin, the thought of being recorded for 12 hours of the day, like, I enjoy my privacy”.

“Think about it as an opportunity, having the fans see a different side of you. Showing them how hard you work your ass off.”

Trinity is my best friend, she helped me out so much when I joined the WWE 6 years ago. She and her husband Jon took me into their family and helped me adapt into the crazy world of being a WWE superstar.

“Just think about it is all I’m saying. It’ll be fun” trin says nudging me.

Ever since I moved here, we have had a weekly tradition of Wednesday Girls Night, its just snacks, Chinese takeout, and movies, it’s just time for us to catch up and wind down from the gruelling travel schedule.

Right on queue at exactly 11:30pm Jon walks in the door.

“Times up ladies” he says, which is swiftly followed by two pillows being thrown at his head.

“Come on uce, you know better than to interrupt gIrLs NiGhT”

The couch beside me dipped and once again I felt the heat from the body of Josh Fatu, my one weakness. His hand falls to his side and creeps closer to me caressing the side of my bare thigh. You see what people don’t know is Josh and I have an ‘agreement’ - no feelings, just sex and friendship, and it was going great until it wasn’t, feeling were caught, specifically by me and I’m stuck between a rock and hard place as I’m falling hard for him, but I cant let this agreement end because I would rather have him this way than not have him at all.

“Spoke with Joe today, Hunter is bringing him up to the main roster, can’t wait to have my other younger brother fighting by my side”. A third pillow is thrown at Jon from the direction of Josh.

“We are twins, and you are only older by 8 minutes”.

Never a dull moment where the Fatu boys are concerned.

• ❃°•°❀°•°❃•❃°•°❀°•°❃•❃°•°❀°•°❃•❃°•°❀°•°❃• 

First day of filming (TD Interview Segment)

Okay, so lets start with a basic intro okay? Ready, go!

The room falls silent the light shines bright on me, I have at least 6 pair of eyes on me, goading me into starting. Gosh why did I sign up to do this!!!

Hi there, my names yn, I am currently on the Smackdown roster and I am the current WWE Women’s Champion.

I’ve been with the WWE for 6 years now and I wouldn’t have survived if it wasn’t for my adoptive sister Trinity, she took me under her wing and I’ve been there ever since. As you guys know – and if you didn't know, the accent should be a huge giveaway, I’m originally from the United Kingdom, I came to the states with a dream in hand and no one there to help me through this bumpy ride. I can never repay her or Jon for the way they have accepted and welcomed me into their little dynamic. Although, travelling the world with Jon and Josh is hard work, they boys are chaotic, I don't know how Trin managed to do it herself for so long!

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Friday Night Smackdown, Atlanta Georgia, 8 weeks before Survivor Series

Walking into the arena for Smackdown I get a message from Hunter asking to meet him in his office. A mixture of anxiety and curiosity fill in the pit of my stomach. In his office I’m met with the familiar faces of Jon, Josh, and Joseph, smiling I look over to Hunter who invites me to sit.

“I got your message, what’s up?

“We have been toying with the idea of a cross brand rivalry - for Survivor Series. Now that Joe has come up to the main roster, we think the Usos and Solo v The Judgement Day would pique interest from the WWE universe.”

“So why am I here?”

“Demi is the Women’s World Champion and part of Judgment Day; it would only seem right that she faces the Women’s Champion”.

Without hesitation I accept. Hunter debriefs us on how it’s going to play out over the next few weeks. We will have to be on both RAW and Smackdown over the next few weeks, so looks like it will be me and the brothers travelling together since Trin is exclusive to Smackdown!

Gorilla, few hours later (TD segment)

Tonight, I have a singles match, however Demi has to interfere and cost me the match – thus starting our road to Survivor Series.

I see Hunter in his usual place over at the screens with his headset on talking to Randy Orton, Randy spots me and immediately comes over to me.

“There’s my favourite girl.”

“I wouldn’t let your wife hear you say that Randy”.

Randy Orton, he is exactly how you would imagine him to be, a cocky little shit, flirtatious as hell, a menace but he has a heart of gold. Many nights we would hit the gym together and training with him before his injury really improved my in-ring ability. He is another one I would call my family away from family.

A familiar scent fills my nostrils, Josh. He stands next to me wrapping his arm around me pulling me closer, as if to stake his claim in me.

“I’ve been looking for you, come on let’s go”.

I smile apologetically at Randy, he just waves me off laughing, as much as I say people don’t know anything about me and Josh, it’s not to say there isn’t rumours flying around, people have their own take on it, and that’s okay, we just laugh it off.

Trin and Jon (TD Interview segment)

“You see yn and josh think they are so slick hiding their little late-night rendezvous” says Jon

Trin sighing, “I just wish they would bang their heads together and realise they are meant to be. Think of the double dates we could finally have Jon.”

Jon’s laugh fills the small interview room, “yeah it would be sweet, and yn is already like family, it would be an easy transition.”

Away from the cameras

“What were you talking to Randy about?” Josh quizzes

“Nothing, you came in and ushered me away before I could say anything.”

“Good, I don’t like it when you get attention from other guys, just me, okay?”

“I think you’ll find Josh that I can speak to who I like”. I say frustrated with his behaviour.

You see as much as I love Josh, this, this right here the way he wants to have his cake and eat it too drives me insane. I so much as look at another guy and he is right there to remind me I’m his, yet he can look at and speak to as many girls and I can’t say shit.

“I’ve got a match to get to, I’ll see you later J.”

“Goodluck out there baby girl, not that you need it.” Before he can come any closer to me, I slip out the room and let my frustrated sigh out. How much longer am I going to keep torturing myself.  

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[vnti-vnxiety-recs]

Swallowing The Pain (M)

★  PAIRING: Simp! Jeno x Toxic Bully! Reader

☆ WORD COUNT:  6.4k

★ GENRE(S): Smut, Angst,Drama, Friends to enemies to lover??

☆ SUMMARY: After getting into the same college, you and your best friend Jeno were supposed to live the college experience together, so how did he get stuck becoming your errand boy? Your friendship is put to the test when you bully Jeno to impress your new college friends.

★ ☆ WARNINGS: Bullying, Peer pressure, Reader is really toxic in this one. Swearing. Drinking, Car sex, READER IS A HUGE BITCH, MDNI

☆★ NOTES: This is the 3rd installment of THE POISON ARCHIVES! This series is very toxic so beware. Each story is based off of lyrics from their song poison!

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♫₊˚.“Can’t keep count How many times I fall to my knees”♫₊˚.

Jeno doesn't have many friends, and he likes to keep it that way. The few that he does have, he likes to keep close. That's why, no matter how many times you stomp his heart out, he won't ever leave your side. You and Jeno had been friends since high school. Back then, his closest friends were you, Doyoung, and Johnny. Johnny and Doyoung went off to college first, leaving you and Jeno. The two of you started to hang out alone more, and that's when he fell for you.

Since then, you guys have graduated and gone off to college, luckily getting accepted to the same campus. For the first year, you two were inseparable. You had the majority of all your classes together and even joined a few clubs together. Everyone used to think you two were dating; the rumors made you blush, but by the next year, you were surrounded by new friends and potential love interests. Jeno had made a few new friends as well: Computer science major Jisung and sports journalism major Chenle. These two are the ones currently chewing him out. Jeno was currently sitting crisscrossed on his door room floor leveling up his character in Elder Scrolls when Jisung and Chenle invited themselves over like usual to raid his fridge and eat his snacks. Jeno has been called at least half the names in the book. His friends can't help but curse him for being so stupid.

Jeno, you've gotta have some self-respect, man. You can't keep letting her do this to you." Jisung groaned again for the hundredth time that night. "She is clearly playing you! Dude, go look in a mirror; you can have any other girl!"

Jisung had a point. Jeno had been approached by several girls since the start of college, but he turned them down. He doesn't have time for distractions when he's trying to keep up with you.

"You know it's a scary world when Jisung is right about something," Chenle shudders. "But I agree that whatever you had with her clearly doesn't mean anything anymore based on how she treats you." Chenle huffs, mindlessly tossing his basketball in the air and catching it.

Guys, I really didn't ask. literally, Who let you in?" Jeno is annoyed; his character's health was at half-bar, and they were wreaking havoc on his concentration.

"We made a spare key," Jisung says nonchalantly.

Dude, you weren't supposed to tell him!" Chenle sits up straight, glaring at Jisung, contemplating if he should throw the ball at his big head. "We only come in to eat; we promise we don't go snooping!" Chenle tries to save face.

Jeno signs exasperatedly. He always wondered what always happened to his leftovers, and he's relieved to know it was these two dorks stealing his food and not some hobo living in his walls. He once read a creepypasta about a similar story, spooked himself out, and slept with the lights on for a week.

Jeno knows that they are right, but he can't bear to lose you. Since the start of your second year of college, you two have started to drift apart as you became more popular. You started partying more; you said you wanted your money's worth and to get the complete college experience. Jeno, being the introvert he is, disagreed. He just wanted to lay low for 4 years, get his degree, and dip. He only applied to get his parents off his back about it. He didn't think he would actually be accepted. In the beginning, you would invite him out and try to drag him along to the parties, but he would turn you down. He would always tell you that he wanted to catch up on studies or hop on the game with the boys. At first, it didn't bother you—not until it did.

One night, you just snapped. You said he was a terrible friend and that he needed to grow up. You just couldn't wrap your head around it. You're finally free from your overbearing parents, and you can go wild. All Jeno wanted to do was stay home and read webtoons! You were upset that he wouldn't change his lifestyle. The first year, you would have agreed with Jeno, but now you're comfortable and ready to explore. He's supposed to do everything with you; you don't care if it's out of his comfort zone. Since that night, you have grown cold toward him. You two never hung out anymore; you were constantly around your new friends. You wouldn't spare him a glance. So Jeno did the only thing he could think of to keep you close. He became your pet.

He's at your beck and call like a puppy. He doesn't even know how or when it happened; he just knows that whenever you call, he's running to where you are. Anything you need, he provides happily. You tease and bully him in front of your friends, but he doesn't care. As long as you look at him again, he's satisfied. Jisung and Chenle despise you. They think you're a cold-hearted ice queen and can't even imagine how Jeno came to become friends with you in the first place.

They have hated you since the day you ordered Jeno to bring you a coke in the main campus cafeteria. As usual, he happily does your bidding, his tail practically wagging behind him as he goes. He's bringing you back a nice chilled coke in under 5 seconds. Before you even take a sip, you crack it open and dump it on his head.

"Bad puppy, don't you know I only drink diet?" You drop the can in front of his feet and plop back down in your seat. Your friends burst into laughter, and you feel satisfied. You hope that, with this, they will like you more.

Your group of friends, if you can even call them that, say you're too soft; they're always making you prove yourself to them. You liked being invited out and being among the popular crowd, so you did as they told you. Jeno is shocked, but before he can even say anything, an angry Chenle comes over to curse you out. You can't even argue back because Jeno is pulling him away all while dripping wet, leaving a sad trail behind him. Since that day, Jisung and Chenle have tried everything to help Jeno get over you.

Jeno was upset that you publicly humiliated him in front of half the student body, but he can't help replaying the sound of your laughter in his head over and over. Even when you're laughing at his misfortune, Jeno thinks your laugh is the prettiest tinkling sound he's ever heard. He'd let you pour 10 more cans of soda on his head if he got to hear it again. That's why he's right back by your side the next day, jumping through hoops for you.

Guys, look, I don't care what you think; you don't know her like I do," Jeno sighs, finally pausing his game.

"So-called free thinkers when a baddie is involved," Jisung shakes his head disapprovingly. Chenle snickers in return.

"Would you guys leave already? The snacks are gone, and I'm not refilling them for another week, so don't even bother coming over." Jeno gets up, snatches the basketball out of Chenle's hands, and kicks Jisung's foot, signaling for him to stand up. "Both of you are out now; I need to think!"

They groan in unison and make their way to the front door, leaving Jeno alone in his room. Jeno lays back into his bed and shuts his eyes.

He really does want time to think. He's not proud of his actions, either. He wants to be rid of you, but no one will ever understand how lonely it is, so have your closest friend turn their back on you. Jeno was thrown into a new environment with no one to turn to. He only had you. He blames himself; he thinks he was too caught up in his own fears, and that is why he lost you. If only he were braver, if only he took more risks, he could truly stand next to you. He doesn't want to think anymore, so he sits up and begins to busy himself. Just as he shuts off his console and gets ready for bed, his phone rings. He had a specific ringtone set just for you, so he knows when you're calling. He practically dives back into his bed, rummaging through the covers, trying to get to his phone.

Jisung was right; he was a so-called free thinker.

His hand finally grazes it, and he pushes the covers out of the way. He answers the call, barely able to speak, trying hard to catch his breath.

"He-hello?" He heaves, trying his best to sound normal.

"Why are you so out of breath? You just got done fucking?" You inquire, annoyed that he didn't answer on the first ring.

"Would that make you jealous?" Jeno says hopefully

"Don't piss me off," you scoff, rolling your eyes, though you know he can't see it.

Sorry," he immediately backtracks, "did you need me?"

Unfortunately, yes, my ride left me, and I have no way home. I need you to come get me." Just as you finish your sentence, Jeno’s phone dings. You had sent him your location: "I sent the address; please don't keep me waiting, puppy." And with that, you hang up.

Jeno doesn't waste time getting properly dressed and decides to just wear what he has been lounging around in all day. It's around 11 p.m. when he parks his car. He tries to call you, letting you know he's arrived, but you don't pick up. You never do. Jeno gets out, decides to look for you, and makes his way across the lawn and into the frat house. He feels a little underdressed now; all he's wearing are some grey sweats and a muscle tee. He didn't think he would have to get out of the car. The girls ogling his muscular arms don't make the situation any better. They could care less about what he was wearing; they want to see more of what's underneath. He's a bit embarrassed but continues his search of the house.

He spots a few of your friends and asks them if they have seen you. He can barely make out their slurred words, but he thinks they mention something about the bathroom upstairs, so he heads upstairs in search of you. He can see the bathroom straight down the hall. As he approaches, he notices the bathroom door partially cracked and pushes it open, peeking his head in. His eyes lock with yours. Your head is thrown back, and your legs are wrapped around some guy's waist as he gropes you over your clothes.

Jeno, you could try knocking," you say nonchalantly.

"The… The door was open, so I—" he stutters, eyes wide open.

"Alright, the show is over; I'll be right there." You roll your eyes, pushing the handsome stranger away from you and jumping down from the counter.

You're gonna leave me just like that?" the stranger teasingly pulling you back into him

"Sorry Yuta, let's catch up later, okay?" You give him a saucy wink and brush past him.

"You said that last time," he reminds you, pouting cutely as he watches as you pull Jeno by the collar of his shirt down the hall.

"Hold me to it, okay?" You yell over your shoulder and make your way down the stairs with Jeno in tow.

Jeno is quiet as you two venture down the stairs; he knows he shouldn't ask, but curiosity gets the best of him. "Who was that?" he whispers once you cross the lawn back to his car away from the thumping music of the party.

"That was tonight's fuck. Thanks a lot, Cockblock," you mumble, rolling your eyes as you wait by the passenger door so he can open it for you. He buckled you in before getting in on the driver's side.

"I'm sorry" He's not. "You should have told me you were going to be busy."

You don't reply, and you just look out the window. You can see his image reflecting off your window thanks to the dark skies, which turn it into something like a black mirror. You didn't get a good look at him at the party, but now he's all you can see as his arms flex as he grips the steering wheel. Your eyes trail down to the way he bites his lip in concentration, probably thinking of something to say.

You hate it here.

You had been pent up for the last few days, so when you bumped into Yuta, it was a miracle, and when he asked you to go upstairs with him for a quickie, you could almost cry tears of happiness. You did not expect Jeno to arrive so quickly; the man lived like 20 minutes away! Was he speeding? Regardless, the lust that clouds your eyes is making Jeno look a little too good. You hadn't really had a moment alone with him since last year, and you forgot how insanely hot he was.

Honestly, you had a bit of a crush in high school; that's why it hurt when he would turn down every chance to hang out. Sure, you were upset that he didn't want to spend time with you, but you just had to drag it out, didn't you? With the way you're practically throbbing over him, you regret it now more than ever. The way he leaned back into his seat, his posture relaxed, one hand on the wheel, and his legs slightly spread, had you nearly about to jump out of the car to escape the tension. You were still too stubborn to admit you were wrong and make up with him, so you sat in silence and suffered. All you can think about now is how pretty you would look perched right on top of his lap. If you weren’t horny before, you definitely are now. You're so far into your perverted thoughts that you almost miss the way the car jerks forward.

"What was that?" You're sitting up straight now, looking around in panic.

"shit… I think I popped a tire," Jeno groans in disbelief.

"Oh come on, I'm not walking in these heels, Jen!" Don't you have a spare?" you ask, failing to hold in your complaints.

"No, Jisung begged me to take it out so he could fit his stupid bike in the back when we went hiking a few weeks ago, and I never got around to putting it back in." Jeno sighs irritatedly and drops his head back against his seat.

"Nice going, asshat."

"Not helping" 

"How are we gonna get home?"

"You know I would be home if it weren't for you?"

Well, maybe if you watched the road more carefully, you wouldn't have hit anything."

"Oh fuck you!"

Jeno rarely got angry, and he especially never yelled at you. Your constant complaining and the stress of the situation were not helping his mood. Not to mention, it was almost 12 a.m. now, and he was tired and annoyed.

You wouldn't want him any other way.

"Watch your mouth puppy, or do I need to watch it for you?" You raise an eyebrow.

He unbuckled his seatbelt so he could fully turn to face you. His jaw was tight, and his eyes were hardened.

"I said, fuck yo-"

He couldn't even finish his sentence before you kissed him. One second you were sitting across from him; the next you were climbing into his lap, leaving feverish kisses down his neck.

"Fuck me? Your right, fuck me. You owe me an orgasm anyway," you say with a wicked smile.

Jeno can't help but reattach your lips to his; it's like his only line of oxygen. He never thought that the day would come when he could touch you so intimately. He lets his seat recline and pulls you down with him. Luckily, the car broke down in an area that doesn't catch much traffic, and even if someone were to pass by, Jeno’s tinted car would shield your dignity from prying eyes. He's running his hands anywhere he can reach; his touch is near desperate. Soon his hands venture up the back of your shirt and unclasp your bra. You help him remove it, and once you discard the offensive material, you lift your shirt over your head. Jeno is face-to-face with your naked chest and can't manage to tear his eyes away.

"What? Don't tell me you're a virgin, Jen." You tease him lightly, and before you can take another jab at him, he pulls you down against his mouth to suck at your nipples. In all honesty, Jeno didn't have much experience, but for you, he was willing to learn your body. He wanted to know how to touch you and get you to beg for him. Most importantly, though, he wanted to make you shut your fucking mouth.

"Get in the back," He commands.

You don't even bother trying to think of a snappy reply. You kind of liked it when he bossed you around. Usually he was the one taking orders; you never realized how sexy he could be making them. You climb into the back as Jeno exits through the driver's side door to meet you in the back. Once he joins you in the backseat, you're immediately grabbing at his clothes, needing to touch every inch of him. You help him undress, and you're finally able to get his pants past his waist. You can't help the whine that slips out. The moment you laid eyes on it, you knew it was K.O.

He had the prettiest cock you had ever seen, and you could barely contain yourself as you imagined taking him in several different positions. The stretch was gonna hurt so good. He tries to at least finger you, wanting to stretch you out a bit, but you pull his arm away. You're far too impatient, so you just tell him to grab a condom from your purse in the front seat.

"Jen, don't go easy on me; I can take it," you say with a lick of your lip as he slips on the condom. You're not able to pull your eyes away until he grabs your face and makes you look at him.

"Wasn't planning on it, princess."

That's all the warning you get before he's fucking into you. He doesn't wait for you to adjust; he gives it to you just like you asked, and you couldn't be any happier. Even though he was literally inside of you, you needed him closer. You immediately wrap your legs around his waist and pull him down into your chest. He fucks you like this for a few more moments until he takes over. You were always pushing and pulling him to get what you wanted, but not this time. He roughly pulled your legs from his hips, pinning them to your chest. He sits up and leans into you, fucking you harder with the new leverage. You can't help but whine.

"Jeno please"

"Shut up and just take what I give you." He was fed up with you. All you do is demand more and more from him. He's sick of being your compliant little puppy. He pulls out of you, and you nearly cry at the lack of contact. Before you can even fix your mouth to complain, he's flipping you on your hands and knees and shoving your face into his seats. When he enters you again, he's fucking you like a madman. The car is practically rocking, and you can't help but moan as he delivers a few spanks to your right ass cheek.

"So greedy. Always wanting more." He slowly pulls out, watching how your walls try to desperately suck him back in. Then he's thrusting in deep. "Look at how you take me."

Your back arches as you moan. There are no thoughts in your head at this point. All you can think about is his cock and how it has to be rearranging your guts at this point. You're trying to match his thrust as you slam your hips back into his, but It's almost too much. The way his cock was practically bullying your insides makes you hesitate for a second, your thighs shaking. Jeno notices the way your movements falter, and he chuckles. You cower away from the next thrust and whine.

"Nuh uh, baby, this is how you wanted it, right? Don't tell me you're all talk. You can take it." He leans over your shoulder, whispering deviously into your ear. the position, slowing his hips down just enough for you to catch your breath. "You want it, baby? Answer me," he punctuated with deep, slow strokes.

No one's home. You're definitely gone in the head by now, but when he threatens to pull out again, you open your mouth and just let whatever spill out. "Fuck, don't stop. I can take it."

"You gonna be my good girl?"

"Yes just...please!" You can feel your eyes start to water, and you can't stop the hiccups that escape with them.

Aw, my precious baby. You wanna cum?"

"Please!" You wail, "Just please don't stop Jen. I think I'll die if you do. I need you so bad." You ramble

Just like always, Jeno gives you exactly what you want. He's picking up speed and fucking you until you're creaming all over his cock, soaking his thighs in your essence. You can hardly hold yourself up as he uses you. You're just a whole to him right now, and he's stuffing you with his cum after a few more deep strokes. After a moment, he pulls out and immediately checks on you.

"I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me." His attitude flipped like a lightswitch.

One moment he's ordering you around, splitting you in half on his cock, and the next he's apologizing profoundly, almost crying at the thought that he was too rough with you. It was like one moment he was Mr. Hyde, and the next he was Dr. Jekyll.

"It's ok, Jen, that was amazing, seriously." You sit up and caress his face, trying your best to calm him down. He sighs in relief at your response. He disposes of the used condom and helps you get dressed.

Once you two get settled back in the front seats, he can't help but ask the question that's been tormenting him since the post-nut clarity hit.

"So what now?"

"What do you mean?"

"What are we?"

"Don't get the wrong idea. Jeno, that was probably the hardest I've ever come, but you're still my puppy and nothing more. You were just paying me back the orgasm you ruined," you shrug as you flip his passenger mirror down and check your hair and makeup.

He can only manage a small "oh". Of course, this meant nothing to you; it was probably just another Friday fuck to you. He calls a tow truck to break the awkward silence. It arrives in around 15 minutes, and the driver is kind enough to drop you both off at campus. Jeno walks you home like a gentleman and then heads home himself. When he finally lays in bed, all he can do is stare at the ceiling and try to swallow the pain.

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A week had passed since the incident, and you were right—he really was nothing but a puppy to you. Everything had gone back to the way it previously was, and the situation was never brought up again. He almost would have believed it was a dream, but his new tire was a clear reminder that it was not. You go back to your usual self, bossing him around and humiliating him. Tonight he gets a text from you around 10 telling him to get dressed because he is going to be your date to a party. It surprised Jeno, to say the least. He was usually just your personal chauffeur, dropping you off and picking you up at different parties all week. To say that he was excited to be given this little promotion was an understatement. Jisung and Chenle were back now that the snack cabinet had been filled again. Since they were back, their constant commentary on Jeno’s issue was too. They were 100% against Jeno going to this party, but he ignored them and got dressed anyway. He drowned out their complaints, ushered them out the door, and locked it behind him.

Dude, come on, something is definitely up." Jisung pulls his hair in frustration.

"I'm gonna need you to find a new girl to obsess over because I'm really getting sick of having to agree with Jisung." Look at what you're doing to me," Chenle sasses.

Guys, relax; if anything is up, I'll text you, ok?" Jeno grunts as he walks towards his car. He completely ignores their protests and drives off to meet you at the address you texted earlier.

Just before he pulls around the corner that turns off of his street, he looks in his rear view mirror and sees his house lights on again. Jisung and Chenle use their spare key to sneak back inside his house. He rolls his eyes and keeps driving. At this point, he was used to their antics. Apparently they've been doing this for months, and he never took notice, so he's not worried about them making a mess or taking anything. Well, anything that's not food

It's a small college town, so he reaches his destination in about 15 minutes. He finds himself outside of a townhome when he decides to text you. There's no loud music or drunken bodies staggering around the yard. He's starting to think he's arrived too soon when you head out to greet him. He's always been able to read you like a book, so once he notices a hint of worry hidden behind a forced smile, he begins to wonder what's going on.

"Are you good?" he asks gently when you grab his hand.

"Yea just… Yeah, come on, let's go inside; the others are waiting." you smile.

You are smiling at him. The one who hasn't smiled at anything but his misfortune for the past year His alarms were definitely going off, but he let you pull him inside anyway. Once you two make it through the door, he notices it's not really a party but a small get-together between you and your friends.

"Hey Jeno, glad you could make it," they greeted him. Why was everyone being so nice? He looks to you for some answers.

"We were just hanging out and thought it would be fun if you joined, you explain, pulling him to the living room where an array of alcohol bottles were laid out.

Yeah, we were just hanging out and drinking."

"Oh, I can't really hold my alcohol," Jeno mentions awkwardly, and he sits down next to you on the couch. Your friends all laugh like he just said the funniest joke.

"Oh don't be a party pooper. Come on, here's a shot. We’ll even give you a chaser," your friend pushes.

He hesitates for a few moments before he finally folds. Maybe if he can loosen up for a night, he’ll finally be able to get a glimpse into the life that you lived. Maybe all this time you were right—maybe college was about living life to the fullest. Jeno takes the shot and has to force himself not to make a disgusted expression at the taste. He turns to you for your approval, but you just have that worried look on your face again.

"Jen, you don't have to do this if you don't want to; you know that, right?" you whisper. 

"I'm not a baby; isn't this what you wanted?" Jeno grumbles, ignoring you and taking another shot that your friend hands him. He's only two shots in, and he's already feeling it.

"Alright guys, that's enough for him, alright?" You speak hesitantly.

"When did you get so boring? Aren't you the one who always bullies him?" Your friend spit, "Stop trying to ruin our fun."

Jenos head is already spinning, but when he's handed another shot, he downs it almost instantly.

"That's my man!" Your other friend claps Jeno on the back. Jeno can barely manage a smile; he's starting to feel nauseated, and the strong scent of alcohol isn't helping.

"Look, I don't care! He's cut off!" When your friend tries to hand him another drink, you smack it out of her hand, spilling it all over the front of her dress.

"What the fuck is your problem? This is Gucci!" your friend screeches. Everything is moving so fast; everyone is yelling, and Jeno can't make out any faces. It's like his head is underwater, and the next thing he knows, he's being pulled to his feet. He can barely make out your silhouette pulling him along out of the door. You walk him to his car and help him lay down in the back seat. He's lying on his back, one arm covering his eyes from the light that shines down on him as you search his pockets for his keys.

Sorry, Jen, I'm going to get you home, okay?" You try your best to be quick. You find his keys in his back pocket and shut the back door, turning off the annoying light in return. You climb into the driver's seat and make your way to his house. When you arrive, you help him out of the back seat and to the door. Your driving is shitty. Jeno thinks you were playing Mario Kart the way you hit every single pothole on the way home. He's trying his hardest not to throw up when you open his door, but he can't help it. He pukes by the front door. You curse and help him sit down. You don't realize someone else is in the house, so when you're walking down the hall to the bathroom to get a wet towel, you see a tall figure in the hallway, and you scream. You startled not only Jeno but also Jisung, who was coming to check what all the noise was about.

"What are you doing here?" He yells back, still a bit frightened.

"I was bringing Jeno home," you huff as you hold your chest, trying to calm down your racing heart.

"What did you do to Jeno, you hussy?" Another voice yells from behind Jisung; you can't see him, so you peek around Jisung's frame and see Chenle’s smaller one.

Ugh, you're here too?" you groan. You were already stressed, and these two goofballs were just going to make it worse.

Guys, please, my head hurts," Jeno quietly groans from his position on the couch.

Jisung and Chenle race past you from the hallway into the living room, and they see Jeno on the couch.

Jeno knew he looked a mess, they were not going to let him live this down. He would have to spend a week hearing "I told you so" from them.

"Oh my god, He's dead!" Chenle wails

"He just spoke to you, idiot." You roll your eyes.

No, he didn't liar! You killed him, and now his ghost is trying to speak to us! What is it, Jeno? Who did it?" Jisung chimed in, dramatically falling to his knees in front of Jeno.

"Whose snacks are we gonna eat?" Chenle continues; he paces the room, biting his thumb.

"SHUT UP!" Jeno yells, immediately clutching his head in anguish.

"HE'S ALIVE!" They both shouted in relief.

"Don't worry, bro, I'll get you some Tylenol," Jisung says as he heads back down the hall towards the bathroom.

Now that the chaos has ceased, Chenle turns to look at you. Look, I don't know what happened, but you need to leave," Chenle says seriously from his spot perched next to Jeno. We were his real friends; we can take it from here," he adds with a scowl.

Jisung emerges shortly after with a glass of water and some pills. He helps Jeno sit up and makes sure he takes the medicine. As you watch them care for Jeno, you realize how terrible you are. Sure, they can be annoying, but because of you, Jeno is suffering. All this time, you have been making him suffer over something so childish, and you're disgusted with yourself. You can't even recognize yourself anymore, and you're sure if Doyoung and Johnny saw who you had become, they wouldn't be able to either.

Jeno used to be your best friend, and this was what your relationship reduced to? Chenle was right; you weren't his friend. You screwed up big time. You ruined everything just for the attention of a few people who don't even care about you. You gently sit Jenos keys down on the coffee table and leave. It's a chilly night, but you need to feel the bite of the wind snipping at your skin. You bear it because you deserve it. You cry silently all the way back until you reach your dorm.

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It's been a few days since then, and Jeno has been ignoring you since. He had woken up the next day still feeling out of it. Jisung did his best to catch him up to speed, and he remembers what happened. A small part of him wants to thank you for protecting him, while the other, bigger part is pissed that you even brought him there in the first place. You knew your friends were up to no good, but you still let him walk into their trap.

For the past few days, whenever you tried to approach him in the halls, he would turn the other way. He sent your calls straight to voicemail and left your messages on delivered. You deserved it after all, after what you did to him. Even so, you still want to explain yourself and apologize.

So maybe you follow him around after all of his classes like a lost puppy waiting for the chance to speak with him, and maybe you even try groveling to Chenle and Jisung for help, but they refuse. It isn't until you catch him in the library late one Sunday night. You honestly didn't expect him to be here; it was already 1 a.m., and you knew he had an early class the next day. You figured he must be pulling an all-nighter again. You approach cautiously, trying to ease your way into his space.

"Jen, can we talk, please?" You barely whisper, still afraid you may scare him away.

"Im busy," he replies curtly. The desk he's sitting at is covered in papers and textbooks. You almost leave from the guilt of interrupting him and breaking his concentration, but you stay. For once, you stay.

"Why are you here anyway? Why not just study at home? It's not like you have a roommate," you inquired. Jeno used to have a roommate, but he dropped out due to stress.

"Chenle and Jisung keep inviting themselves over", Jeno huffs irritatedly. "What is this? 20 questions? I don't want to talk to you!" Jeno flips the page of his textbook angrily, almost ripping it out.

Well, then just listen! Im sorry, ok? I'm sorry about everything. I know I was a huge bitch, and I wish I could say I never meant to hurt you, but I can't because I did! I did mean to hurt you, but I'm sorry!" You ramble, "I should have never tried to pressure you into being someone you're not. I should have respected your boundaries and not insulted you when all you wanted to do was stay in your comfort zone. And now look! The moment you finally do try something new, you suffer from it." You try to fight back the tears because you really weren't here to make him feel bad.

When the first tear falls down your face, Jeno can't help but feel his heart tighten in pain.

His face morphs from one of annoyance to one of worry. When you begin to cry harder, he can't help himself and springs up from his seat, engulfing you in a hug. Before today, there was no warmth in your arms, but now he was almost overwhelmed by your heat.

"You're a terrible friend, and I hate that I'm in love with you, but no matter how many times I try to let you go, I just can't stay away from you."

You hug him tighter at his confession, not wanting to let him go. "Jeno, I'm sorry, can we please just start over? I swear, I'll be better for you. I'm gonna do my best to make up for all the stupid shit I did. You plead. 

Jeno is quiet for a few more moments, and you almost think he's going to reject your offer, but he doesn't. "We can start small." He whispers into your hair and plants a kiss on your head before pulling away.

You look up into his eyes, and you can still see a tinge of hurt, but you can also see hope. You know he's serious about wanting to give you another shot, so you make a promise to yourself to never hurt him again. You guys start slow and hang out more, and you finally make amends with Jisung and Chenle. You find out that they are actually some of the most endearing people you have ever met. They can be a bit mischievous, but they mean well. After a month, you and Jeno start dating officially.

You definitely gave a few people whiplash with how fast your relationship developed. Just a few months ago, you were walking him like a dog, keeping a tight leash on him, and now you were walking to class hand in hand, laughing at each other's jokes like it never happened. Things were finally as they should be. You missed your best friend more than anything in the world. You hope you never have to learn what it feels like to miss your boyfriend.

[asheurbanipal]

Where were they going without ever knowing the way? Ch. 2

on A03

<<Previous

Summary:

No luggage. No gas in the truck. No memories. Waking up with amnesia in a shack in the desert, our heroes find themselves drifting down the highway with no specific direction in mind. The only thing driving them? We know each other, and know each other well. But how? And why? And what is this feeling that lives in the pit of my stomach when I look at you?

Deadpool/Wolverine

Explicit

Words: ~10k

Chapter 2/2 in series

Content: memory loss, amnesia, trauma, amputation, canon-typical violence, bathtub sex, homophobic slurs

Chapter 2

"We haven't seen you in more than a week," said the man Logan had learned was named Scott. They had some kind of beef. None of them were talking about it, but everyone was clearly aware. The tension was there.

The giant silver dude, Colossus, had pulled their jeep around until it backed up to the SUV, creating areas for everyone to sit. Another woman with white hair had arrived --literally flying in-- that raised a warmer sense of familiarity in his chest. She hadn't given her name, yet, though. She seemed extra pissed at him for whatever bullshit it was they had pulled. 

"Okay, so what was going on the last time you saw us?" Wade asked. This group --the X-men-- had been concerned but prickly with Logan. A sort of familial irritation. For Wade that was amped up to frustrated exasperation. 

"There was an interstellar dragon situation in Moapa Valley," Scott sighed. Logan felt Wade tense in excitement. He shot a hand out and pressed it around the top of Wade's shoulder into the bottom of his throat a little. He caught the message to maybe shut the fuck up for a second. 

"Wade begged to come with," Scott continued. "I told him, 'no.' He said if I let him come, he could show us some ammunition caches out in the desert he knew about. Something from an older merc job that they never cleaned up."

"Oh, fuck I'm a goddamn genius." Wade clapped rapidly in delight. 

"Yeah, unfortunately," Scott agreed. "So I let you come. It was your idea to go to Vegas."

"Hm, that does sound like me," Wade decided. "Oh! I know what Vegas is! That's a good sign, right?"

"It ended up being a terrible idea, so..." Scott turned a small circle with his arms crossed. 

"To be fair, Scott," said Hank McCoy. "I only came on this particular mission to go to Vegas myself. We were going that direction, anyway." Hank --Beast-- had taken a minute to adjust to. Big. Blue. Furry. But somehow this particular brand of weird was acceptable and familiar. He turned to Logan. "I wanted to touch base with a colleague at a research facility near Lake Mead." The new information immediately sorted itself into a lower priority drawer in Logan's brain. 

"Fine," Scott agreed reluctantly. "But you two basically disappeared the instant we got to Vegas. Three days later, you've stolen one of the SUVs off the jet and left Warhead a cryptic message about 'a memory wipe guy.'" He nodded to the girl in yellow, the one that had spoken to them first.

"I told him you'd come home eventually," Warhead said, "be he insisted we try to at least pretend to look for you."

"Because you've both been acting fucking weird lately, so I wasn't sure what bullshit you'd get up to." Scott kicked a rock in the dirt. "Ever since-"

"Don't tell them, Scott."

"Storm?" 

The woman with the white hair --Storm, he now guessed-- moved from her perch on a nearby rock to sidle up to where Logan was sitting on the back of the SUV bumper.

"Let them relearn it themselves," she hissed. "They want to solve their petty squabbles by manipulating their minds, let them earn their memories back." 

"I did something to you didn't I?" Logan asked, cowed under her steely gaze. 

"More what you didn't do. And when you remember, you're going to regret it."

#####

"I'm not getting in that fucking plane. We'll drive back. The tracker is on, isn't it? You won't lose us this time."

"Logan…"

"We'll meet up in Vegas." 

Wade watched from the back of the SUV as Logan argued with the guy wearing the visor. Scott. Scooottt. Name sounded funny in his head and on his tongue. The instant he had suggested everyone get back on the jet, Logan had freaked out. 

Baby boy doesn't like to fly. Put that away in the vault and lock it up. 

Knowing they had a very sexy domestic relationship had changed the way he looked at Logan. That bloom of warmth he had been trying to make sense of was welcome now. He could bathe in it. 

Logan stormed up to the side of the SUV, wrenching it open to hop in the driver's seat. 

"Wade. Finish up whatever and get up here. We're going." 

"Yes, sir, Logan, sir." Wade pulled the SUV hatch down and scrambled through the center opening, unfolding in the front seat. There was a brief cold war with the X-Jeep through the rearview before the other vehicle headed off into the sand. 

"Dicks," Logan said to the reflection of their tail lights. He pressed the keyless ignition and began the process of moving the SUV back to the highway.

"Sounds like they're your best friends." Wade offered his hand across the console of the SUV. Logan took it absently.

Oh, muscle memory. Delightful. 

"And considering you're apparently my partner, I'm getting a stark sense of the company I keep." He squeezed Wade's hand. The sensation rolled up him so nicely he could ignore the half an insult underneath. 

Not like I'm NOT an asshole, from what I can tell. No reason not to accept it. 

"Do you think we're a happy couple?" Wade asked, pushing the conversation in a direction he preferred. 

"According to the pictures…" Logan rumbled a thought across his mouth. "Yes. I think we are. I feel like we are. It feels good."

"What would have happened if visor-boy and the mutant crew hadn't shown up?"

"We'd go to the address on our licenses. I had already been doing the math on the drive to New York."

"No, I meant when we were making out. If they hadn't interrupted." Wade flipped their hands over a few times. 

"I would have fucked you senseless. I was not ready to slow down. It was like a…fugue state."

Oh those asssshoollleeesss.

"I'm glad we got stopped, though." Logan removed his hand to shift the GPS then settled it back. "I would have felt weird about it afterward. Because we're not totally ourselves." 

"I wouldn't have," Wade replied. Logan kept his eyes on the road and didn't speak, but there was a tilt to his head that suggested he was curious to hear the rest of that. It was little realizations like this where he started to see the imprint of their relationship. The fact that he knew how to read Logan's body language. 

"We were both consenting, " Wade continued. "You're hot as hell. And if you fuck like you fight, you are a champion of dicking down. If you deigned to lower yourself to my level, I'd one night stand you in a heartbeat, no questions asked. With the added knowledge that we're already together, I don't really care if I can't remember anything. I'd suck your soul out of your dick even if I had a lobotomy." 

The silence that followed made Wade more and more nervous, Logan's hand tightening around his. When it relaxed, he felt himself breathe again. 

"What do you mean lower myself?" Logan glanced sideways under the shadow of his eyelashes. 

Holy fuck do I actually have to explain this to him? He can't be this stupid.

"Look, I've got a supple ass and a sick rack. This is not up for debate. But this suit's hiding a lot of sins, baby girl. Underneath all this red sexy, is a…mess, basically. No one thought to give me the full scoop on what the fuck is wrong with me, but whatever it was, it turned me into a giant ballsack."

"Wade, I think you're extremely attractive." They had hit a stretch of straight road, and Logan took the risk to chance some hard looks at Wade. 

"I'm sure you got over your initial gag response, at some point, and now you love me because of my inside beauty, but like…come on."

"There's no way I had put up with this from you for any length of time."

"What 'this?'" 

"This self-deprecation thing."

"And there's no way I was totally cool with getting my arm chopped off on the daily, so clearly-"

"So clearly it's something we worked on at some point." Logan squeezed his hand one more time before setting it on the wheel to deal with a rough patch of road.

Oh. I hadn't considered that. 

"What if we just suck?" Wade countered. "And not in the fun way. We're just terrible people who are terrible together?" 

I don't want to believe that. That doesn't feel right at all. It makes me sad. 

"I don't believe that," Logan said.

motherfucker's telepathic

 "I think we're just a little broken, " Logan said. "And we're fixing each other. Slowly. Or at least taping each other back together." His fists went tighter around the wheel. 

"How are you so sure?" Wade asked. 

"I'm not. But the only solid memory I've gotten back is that I love you. So that must be the most important one. I can work from there." 

No wonder I'm in love with this man.

#####

Logan found the cellphones, fully charged, in a secret compartment in the back of the SUV while they were stopped at a travel plaza on the west side of Phoenix, Arizona. Scott had been kind enough to at least inform him that the SUV did, indeed, need to get refueled whenever possible. The solar battery would only run them so far even at the full charge it had built up parked out under the sun. With full nightfall coming on fast, they weren't going to be able to recharge for a while.

They had both gone in to take a piss, and now Wade was taking forever for whatever reason. They had already changed into civilian clothes, so it wasn't a suit issue. It didn't matter. It gave him time to go through their phones by himself. Whatever he had told Wade, a part of him was nervous, still. 

He held the phones in his hand, deciding which to go through, first. Both had unlocked on his face. The pink glitter case with the tiny rainbow charm and an illustrated cat giving the middle finger on the lockscreen was probably Wade's. He sure fucking hoped it was, at least. It felt wrong to go through Wade's stuff without permission, so he started digging through the phone with the black and gray case, first. 

It was less than useful. 

His lock screen was their dog in a little red suit like Wade's. The wallpaper was a picture of him and his maybe-daughter eating cotton candy. Someone else had taken the picture. Maybe Wade?

The rest of the phone was starkly practical. A few basic functional apps, New York Times puzzles, and solitaire. The calendar said that "Puppins" was due for their flea and heartworm meds, so that was a clue on the dog, at least

Scott said they had been acting weird "since-." Since what? He flicked back through the calendar to look for anything that seemed like a big deal. Regular briefings with the X-Men, reminders to take out the trash, lawn care service…

"Dinner?" Logan said to himself as his feet dangled off the back bumper of the SUV. Two months back was an entry in his calendar that didn't look like he made it. It was the phrase "TAKE ME TO DINNER" in all caps with emoji hearts next to it. "Maybe I didn't take him when I was supposed to. Then we fought? Is that what we've been being 'weird since'?"

"You found our phones!?" Wade shouted across the parking lot, drawing everyone's attention as he jogged back to the SUV. He had changed out his red suit for a loose jersey with an X on it, cargo khaki shorts, knee-high socks and sandals. He looked objectively ridiculous, but it matched his overall vibe so perfectly, Logan couldn't imagine him in anything else. He had acquired a baseball cap with a cardinal on it inside the travel stop. 

He hopped up next to Logan in the SUV, pulling out a couple of Ramune soda bottles. He popped the marble at the top then took a swig. Wade just looked down at his forlornly.

"I don't know how to open this," he said to himself quietly. Logan took it from him and went through the process a second time. 

"Then why did you get them?"

"I don't know. I just saw them, was super surprised they had them at a travel stop, then my hand was already reaching for them. I think…I think you like them?" 

"Yeah, they're not bad," Logan said, handing the drink back. Wade took a sip, and his face said he wasn't sure how he felt. "Anyway, here. Phone. I want you to look at a specific date." 

"Absolutely," but the first place Wade went digging was the photo gallery. "Oh I have a whole folder in here marked 'Logan XXX.'"

"Okay, but did I pose for those? Or are they candid? Because I get the feeling-"

"Do you have any sexy pictures of me?" Wade shifted the focus with a snap.

"I didn't look." 

"Can you?" Wade looked across at him, batting his lashless lids. 

"I-okay...sure." He didn't expect there to actually be any. If the conversation from earlier was anything to go by, that little detail wasn't going to make Wade feel good about himself. Delaying it was going to make it worse, though. 

He flicked through the gallery. It wasn't organized, but there wasn't much there to keep track of. Landscapes. Pretty sunsets and cloud formations. A few series of Puppins sleeping in weird positions. His maybe-daughter at various distances. When the first picture of Wade appeared, he gave a little chin nudge into Logan's shoulder. 

It was a video. Wade playing with the dog in the yard, running barefoot through the grass in green and brown camo patterned shorts and a bright pink t-shirt with Dolly Parton on it. His smile was wide, shooting back and forth in the grass before he tossed a tennis ball. The camera followed Puppins chasing the ball. Wade chattered something in the background of the video that the camera didn't pick up, then it ended. 

"Okay, super boring and domestic. Give me something hot and spicy." Wade reached over to scroll through the gallery quicker. "Oh this one's…oh…maybe not."

Wade in a plain colored t-shirt and sweats, feet up on a coffee table, mid-talking to whoever was behind the camera. It was the exact t-shirt Logan was wearing at that very moment. A picture of Wade in his clothes? 

Wade was already moving through the gallery, again, stopping when he saw his face every ten pictures or so.

Wade holding the dog. Wade making stupid faces with his maybe-daughter. Wade and another young Japanese woman making stupid faces at Warhead. Wade with reading glasses focusing extremely hard on a Sudoku book. A video of Wade in his red suit, finessing his swords in a quick circle and giggling. A follow-up video of Wade showing this trick to some preteen boys. A second-follow up video of him showing those same kids how to run some kind of parkour drill in a large room. 

"None of these are sexy," Wade declared. 

"I think we just have vastly different versions of sexy," Logan assured, the warmth that rose in his chest spreading out into his stomach. 

"Whatever." Wade scrunched his nose then went back to his phone. "What date did you want me to look at?" Logan brought his phone over. 

"Here, two weeks ago. Looks like you made a calendar entry." 

Wade hummed and opened his calendar. It was a mess. Reminders and notes and alarms for everything short of breathing. The date in question only had one block on it. 

"It says one year anniversary." Wade waved his phone at Logan gently, then his face changed as he realized what he said. "One year. I can't decide if that's a good amount of time or none at all. Even if I can't remember shit, I feel like I've known you forever." 

Logan pressed through his own thoughts. Wade felt new in his brain. Big but new. Life changing but recent. Maybe that was why they had built a life together so quickly. 

"So, weird question," Logan said, "but I'm wondering if something happened at that dinner. Did we go?" 

"Oh! That should be easy. I'll look at pictures from the date. Since I actually take some." He waggled his eyebrows. "Looks like I might have put it in a folder, even. Look at me. All organized and shit." 

The pictures Wade presented started pretty normal. Them getting ready in their shared bedroom. A few selfies of them in nice clothes. Nothing fancy. Logan was in a sports coat and dark jeans with a cowboy hat. Wade looked smart in khakis, a maroon button up, and cream cardigan, but he didn't look totally comfortable in the outfit. The next few shots were in front of an Italian restaurant of some sort. Only confirmed because Wade took artsy photos of his pasta. But then something had gone wrong. Another selfie on the street on the way somewhere else showed paired looks of concern. 

The next photo was a couple hours later.

A quick shot of Wade with a thumbs up in front of a pile of bodies with Logan in the background, claws out, digging into one last person. Both their outfits were torn and bloody, the splatters implying it wasn't their own. These unknown adversaries were armed to the teeth and dressed in black, so he could only assume they deserved whatever came to them. 

The next picture was Logan throwing back a beer in their house, still a little torn and bloody, an air of broodiness hovering over him. They must have resolved things quickly, because the next photos were very obviously from Wade riding on top of him. Yet somehow not as explicit as they could have been.

"Oh, I am an artist, " Wade decided. 

"So clearly something happened that night," Logan said. "But I think whatever it was started whatever…this…is." He gestured between them. "Scott said we'd been acting weird since some big event. An anniversary seems like the kind of thing that might set off a chain of weirdness."

"Especially if something went really wrong," Wade finished. "Yeah, I hear you, peanut." He looked up and glanced around. "We should stay here in Phoenix tonight." 

"Kinda wanted to drive through."

"To get to Vegas where we got ourselves in trouble the first time. And I know we're both tired. And there's literally a Super 8, like, right over there somewhere according to the cashier." He pointed down the road. 

The problem was Logan couldn't actually disagree with him. He was, indeed, exhausted. And driving this tired was probably dangerous. 

"Alright. Fuck. We'll find somewhere to stay. But not a fuckin' Super 8. I found a black card in my wallet, and I intend to use it if I'm going to have to suffer."

"Yay!"

#####

"There's still time to switch to two queens instead of a king. They probably wouldn't ask any questions."

"What?" Wade asked, then the rest of his brain processed the question as he gazed around the room. "No. No no no no. This is fine." He dropped his bag at the end of the bed. 

"I'm sorry for not confirming with you," Logan said. "Hotel clerk asked what kind of room, and I went into auto-pilot. We must get hotel rooms a lot."

Probably not like this one. Doesn't feel familiar.

The best they could find within spitting distance was a Marriott, but after a night on a cave floor it might as well be a ten-star accommodation. He did another once over of the room, searching under the tables and chairs for…something…It was like a tick. An impulse to check the room for possible security failures. He turned and panicked. Logan was taking off his shirt. 

fuck fuck fuck

Wait….why are you freaking out? You saw him shirtless just a few hours ago.

Calm the fuck down. 

"I assume you'll want a shower. Mind if I go first?" 

"No, go ahead." 

"Okay." Logan paused with his thumbs in the waistband of his jeans. "Are you okay?"

"What do you mean?" Wade tried to lean nonchalantly on the table then jumped back when it tipped underneath him. 

"You're always a little bit distracted, but you seem on edge. Did you remember something?"

"Ah…no…um…I think we hid our cellphones. That maybe we're the ones who put them in that secret compartment." It had started needling at him immediately. Why hide their phones? Why tuck them away like that?

"Who were we hiding them from?"

"Ourselves?"

"Huh…" Logan paced a few steps as he ruminated on the idea. "So we leave our wallets in our bags, phones in the car, then fuck off into the desert?"

"It's a theory," Wade said. 

I don't have any better ones, at the moment.

"Does that make sense?" Logan sat on the bed to think. "Not that I think you're wrong; I'm just trying to find the logic."

"I kind of ruled out being kidnapped pretty early what with the whole…personal armory…thing. Don't think a kidnapper would have left us behind with that."

"Nope, probably not…wait…" He paused to roll a thought over. "We also erased our own memories."

"Shit, you're right, " Wade said. "That's what Glasses said. We 'found the memory wipe guy.' We were looking for this." 

"Why the absolute fuck would we do this to ourselves?" Logan stood from the bed again, crossing his arms over his chest. "It had to be for a reason. A really good one." His pacing got a little faster. 

He's sexy when he's thinking.  

He's sexy when he's breathing, though, so whatever.

Wade watched Logan's form, tracking his every muscle movement. That welling feeling of wanting to bite and gnaw on him kept rising up in his chest and setting his throat on fire. It was so fucking distracting, but it was also raw . Pure in its utter debauchery. He had to believe it was a real thing. 

"You did this." Logan's voice slammed hard against him. 

"Excuse me?" 

"I can tell I've had my memory wiped before. I can feel it. Stacked amnesia. I wouldn't have volunteered to do this again. It must have been your idea." 

Wade moved forward across the room, stood a foot from Logan, chest out and shoulders wide. Trying to be mad but only finding hurt.

"Or maybe since you've been through amnesia before, you thought it was worth it for whatever this…project…is. Or maybe it was my idea, but there's no way I forced you to do it. So you agreed."

"Maybe you strong-armed me. Blackmailed me. Withheld something until I said yes. Like sex." 

What the fuck , dude?

"Do any of those pictures look like a man who would withhold sex? Especially from you ? What the fuck is your problem? You know what no…" 

fuckin' 

Even if it was my idea so what? So fucking what. We're in this together now.

"I'm going to go search the SUV for any more clues," Wade declared. "And you're going to sit and think about what you just said to me.

Fucking ass.

He started toward the door. 

"Fucking ass," he gave as a parting shot. 

The problem was that he couldn't necessarily say that Logan was wrong. Erasing their memories was probably his idea. In their one day together, he could figure out that much. He didn't know if he was a genius or an idiot or that beautiful combination of the two, but he was clearly the schemer. 

Logan was absolutely not the type to be strong-armed into anything he didn't want to do, though. Either he had comfortably agreed with the plan, or Wade had been sufficiently persuasive. So for him to be this accusatory was downright insulting.

And that's something I'm allowed to be mad about, damn it. 

He crawled into the back of the SUV, and started aimlessly throwing panels back, folding and unfolding the seats, looking for any evidence of a hidden pocket. He did uncover a few, but there was little of any importance inside. Two more backpacks of clothes. Another small duffle with extra ammo for a gun he hadn't found in his armory bag. The shotgun that went with the ammo he just found.

The organization of this is all over the place. 

Why do I kind of understand it, though?

I'm absolutely the one who packed this SUV and filled all its hideyholes. 

After an hour of fruitless labor, he dropped breathlessly into the passenger seat, door still open. He unlatched the glovebox. Just the user manual. He closed it again. The latch didn't take and it popped back open again. 

Fuck you.

He tried to close it again, but the manual got in the way this time. 

FUCK YOU. 

He pulled out the book and reared back with the intention of throwing it as hard as possible. Then a piece of paper fell out. Lined notebook paper, folded in half with writing on the outside. "WOLVERINE, READ ME. FROM YOU (WOLVERINE)" 

oh hoh hoh hoh 

I'm absolutely reading this bitch.

Dropping the manual into the driver's seat, he unfolded it carefully, laying it across his lap. Under the dome light, the indents of the blue pen filled the paper with beveled shadows, the other side of the page textured under his fingers. 

Logan, Wade won't look in the glove box, but I know at some point you'll get bored and check the manual for features. You agreed to have your memory erased, but you told him you'd be leaving behind a note. You just didn't tell him where in case he hid it again.

Oh fuck. 

He was super adamant about neither of us knowing anything for this project. You'll understand why, eventually.  Right now, you're freaked out. I know. We've been through this amnesia thing before. It's real shit every time. Don't worry this time IT WILL COME BACK when the serum wears off.

Here Logan had underlined a few times, almost bleeding into the next line. 

I put in some backups for when this goes to shit. The tracker on the SUV will start pinging again, at some point, so the X-Men will find you eventually. So look for a guy with a visor, a giant metal dude, or an attractive black woman with white hair. You can trust them.  YOU CAN TRUST WADE. I can't tell you more, but you would kill and die for this man. More importantly, he would do the same for you. Just get back to Las Vegas and don't freak out.  -Logan   PS. Wade, if you do happen to find this, shut the fuck up.

But then he'd put a little smiley face at the end of the line. Wade let the note sit in his lap for a minute. Had he left a letter like this for himself? He was certain he would have found it, by now. Had Logan found this note already? Was he using that to form his own opinions? Wade had to know. 

Wade practically scrambled through the main door and up the elevator. He almost dropped the keycard but hustled the door open. 

"Logie, I have found the juciest clue!"

……

Logan?

"Kitty cat?" Wade peered around the room, testing the bathroom door. Logan was gone. 

#####

Logan's hands were firmly in his pockets, held tight around a thumb drive. It hadn't been too late for an Uber when he left the hotel, but, depending on how long this took, he might not have the same luck getting all the way across town. He also had the car drop him off about two blocks away from the internet cafe. It wasn't a specific thought that led to that decision. More like something that lived deeper. That had been ingrained in him over a long period of time until it was second nature.

Escaping into the night without telling anyone also felt natural. He hadn't questioned the decision even once. 

He had found the thumb drive in the interior of one of Wade's bags. It had taken seconds, and was mostly an accident. When Wade stormed out, Logan got mad. Mad without a specific focus. Just…mad and sad and annoyed. He picked up all the bags and moved them against the wall, pushing some of his frustration into tossing them against the wall. It was pure accident that one of the bags of clothes made a jingling sound when it banged against the chair leg. One run of his hand along the inside of the bag, and he found the bulge. A quick swipe of his claw along the inner lining, and the pony keychain with the thumb drive attached revealed itself. 

If he had to make a guess, Wade had left some kind of trail of clues. Breadcrumbs. The drive would hold some kind of viable information to bring this all together. He wanted to see it himself, first, though, on his own. Wanted to see what Wade thought was important and convinced himself it was how to make up for saying something so awful.

 The hotel didn't have a business center. A quick Google showed him that "LAN Cafes" were a thing, though, and there was a 24/7 one in Tempe. Logan paid for one of the open computer stations and fumbled through the technology enough to access the drive. 

He found a folder labeled "Our Life-DONT LOOK UNLESS FUCKED" and a solo text document. He clicked on that one first. 

Hey Toad-face-

Ah, this was a note from Wade to Wade. The self-deprecation was immediate and strong. The computer had clearly corrected Wade's writing but hadn't caught everything. 

You have super cancer. You can heal pretty much anything. You can theoretically not die but I haven't fully tested it and NOW IS NOT THE TIME. That's all done The super hot fucker your with is super important and he wont let you die for to long. Promise. Right now you have a bet going so I'm not going to spoil anything. But honey badger said that he would only do this thing if I set a contingency or two. This is that. I used the computer in the business suite at our hotel to make this. Only look at it if something goes to shit and your memory is super fucked.    -XOXO Wade (=˃ᆺ˂=)  

Logan closed out of the document, then drifted the cursor over to the folder. He tapped his finger on the mouse, deciding whether he would open it. 

"Fuck it." 

The folder was full of pictures, and he found himself just skimming, scrubbing through the folder window. He had seen the photos on the phone already. Seen himself through Wade's eyes via camera. He slowed down when he saw another text document. It was full of wall to wall text, no paragraphs. It was hard to read, but he muddled through the rambling, wandering language. 

Wade hadn't fully considered that the man who would be reading this wouldn't have all his memories, so there were jumps in context. Gaps in the lore. They had been through something big together, though. Wade kept referencing The Void. Kept talking about when they "exploded." Referenced multiple universes. Sometimes he slipped into a time clearly before Logan was around. About a woman named Vanessa he seemed to love desperately at one point. Time travel. Despite his insistence in the other document, he might have actually died at one point. At the end was a list of instructions on the best way to reattach a severed limb.

"Buried the info a bit, but we figured it out." He went back to the pictures, and scrolled down to the end. Some of these were newer, taken in Vegas. The images flashed through the preview pane quickly. 

He stopped on the last one. It was a selfie of them in sports coats and jeans standing in the middle of a balloon arc, holding a piece of paper. An official looking document with their names on it, sanctioned by the State of Nevada.

A marriage license. 

Wade found him in the bar. Drinking seemed the best option after what he found, and he wasn't ready to go back to the hotel, yet. He needed to process all his emotions in an environment that felt familiar. He didn't actually know what he liked, though, so he was up to drink number three, landing on a Blue Moon, for now. 

He had no idea how long it would take him to get drunk or if he even could, but he was willing to start the relearning process. 

"Hey," Wade said quietly, sidling up to him at the counter. He set a tablet down in front of them. It was blinking with dots. 

"Is that…tracking us?" Logan scrubbed around on the screen, getting a feel for the environment around them. 

"Yeah, I found it in the SUV. Not sure where the receivers are hidden, though. Maybe shoes?" Wade zoomed out, and another dot appeared way to south of them. "And I think that's another one. Maybe one we left behind somewhere?"

Logan dragged the tablet over and started looking at the streets and nearby landmarks. 

"The AA token that was in my wallet. It was a tracking chip. I threw it in the dirt. Not ruining my sobriety after all." He took a swig in celebration.

"Weird choice," Wade decided. 

"Maybe we couldn't find something better at the last minute and wanted to make sure we could find our wallets. Whatever it is we're doing, I'm not totally sure we thought all the details out. Feels like we kind of half-assed it."

"So you don't think this was my idea, anymore?" Wade tested.

"Nope. Still do." Out of the corner of his eye, Wade's head dipped in melancholy. Logan pulled him in around the waist. "But I'm very sorry for the way I said it. It was unnecessarily mean. I was just…being an asshole. I realized that you were right, and I must have agreed to do it. And if I agreed to do it, it must have been for a good reason." He tucked his face into the halo of Wade's hoodie and spared him a kiss on the cheek. 

They were good and goddamn married after all, right? Right…? 

"This ain't one of the gay bars, boys." The voice crackled from somewhere behind them. 

"Mike, shut the fuck up." A woman's voice hissed at the first as they turned around.

Mike was a decent looking guy in his late twenties. Probably went to the gym a couple times a week. Little bit of stubble. Douchebag haircut. T-shirt from something local and jeans. He had matching wedding rings with the woman next to him who was clutching to his arm in concern. The woman across from him was the one yelling at him. She was paired with a smaller man who looked like he wanted to melt into the floor. 

"Just talking to my husband, bub," Logan said, then started turning back. 

"Husband?" Wade whispered. Logan gave a little headshake that he would explain later. 

"Okay, well maybe you'd be more comfortable doing that somewhere else." Mike was relentless, it would seem. 

"Oh my god, in the year of our Lord Patti Lupone: 2025 is this actual real life homophobia?" Wade cracked his knuckles.

"Wade, calm down. This isn't a barfight kind of establishment." He squeezed Wade's hand for half a moment, working from bone-deep muscle memory. 

"A barfight?" Mike stood up, tottering off his stool. "You fairies want to make this a barfight?"

"MIKE WHAT THE FUCK?" The woman tried to drop down around the table and get to him. Her partner sort of flailed in uncertainty. 

"Mike, honey," his wife tried to reach out to him, but he shook her off.

"Nah, if these fucking fags wanna go, let's go--" 

Wade threw the first and only punch, getting in half a second before Logan could. Mike went down hard, his body making a series of thumps as he hit the floor. He wasn't out, but sitting on the sticky concrete, dazed. Wade was already leaning back against the countertop.

"Honey, your claws." He tapped the blades that had zipped out from Logan's hands. 

"Right." He pulled them back in. He turned to the bartender, a young woman who currently had her hand hovering over a hidden button that would call the police. "Close my tab. We're leaving." He grabbed Wade around the wrist, pulling him out of the room. 

"Give me the keys," Logan barked and Wade obliged. The way he had parked the SUV, the passenger side faced away from the bar and toward a wall. 

He followed Wade around to that side and pressed their bodies together against the car. Logan slammed his lips against Wade's, searching his mouth with his tongue, unsure what he was looking for. His hands crawled around Wade's back and he found his rough skin under his shirt.

The fire he hadn't realized had been building in his chest started to die out into embers. He had just needed to touch Wade. To feel him. To be anchored to the one familiar thing left. He pulled away. 

"Oh that's mean. Don't do that. Come back." Wade clutched at him, trying to pull him back. Logan moved in a little closer as a compromise. 

"Your skin looks the way it does because of 'super cancer,' apparently." Logan said. 

"Who told you this?"

"You did." Logan had printed the shorter text file from the thumb drive and pulled it out of his back pocket. Wade scanned over it. 

"Fuck. Okay. You did the same." Wade pulled a piece of paper from one of his side cargo pockets. Logan immediately recognized his own chicken-stratch writing. "Looks like we made a bet of some sort. Wonder what the wager was?"

"Found something else with the note." Logan looked away, thinking for a moment, deciding if this was the time and place. "It's a picture of us at a chapel with a marriage license. I think we might be married."

Wade's body froze underneath him. 

"No…no no no." 

"Do you not want to be married to me?" Logan asked, trying to push the strange edge of hurt out of his voice. 

"No, I do. I do? I do. That just…scared me. I think…hm…I wasn't ready to hear it…I…I don't know. Just this feeling…" He paused. Then he leaned forward and pecked Logan quickly on the lips, fingers touching Logan's jaw. "Let's go back to the hotel and sleep." He opened the door and climbed inside stiffly. On the other side of the door, Logan stared vaguely through the window, then moved around to the driver's side.

#####

Wade woke up pre-dawn with Logan wrapped around him, face pressed into his back. That wasn't how they went to sleep. 

Married married married married. 

  The idea rumbled in the back of his head. It didn't feel right. Everything else had felt right. This didn't. 

"If you're finally awake, let's get going," Logan murmured into his shoulder. 

"How long have you been up?" Wade asked. 

"A while."

"And you just…laid there? Like this?" Wade patted Logan's arm then turned underneath it to face him. 

"Yeah. It…felt nice." Logan squeezed him around the waist a little. 

"It feels like things are starting to come back. Little stuff. Mostly emotions."

"Yeah. I had a dream about a mini-van, then woke up with a hard-on. I don't know what that means, but it feels like a memory."

"That's a fuck of a memory."

I kinda like it. That's…that's sexy. 

I want to fuck this man SO HARD. 

Why am I so freaked out about marriage if this is how I feel? 

married married married. 

Logan squeezed his ass.

"Let's get going." 

"You're being a lot more affectionate with me, now." Wade kept watching Logan as he, himself, crawled out of bed. 

"Am I? I'm not really thinking about it. Maybe it's those memories coming back?"

"Is it because you think we're married?" Wade asked, keeping a little bit of distance. 

"You don't think we actually are?" 

"Did you see signatures on the license? And we have to file it, right?" 

An out. That's what I need. An out. A place to wiggle through this weird feeling.

"That is a good point that I didn't consider." Logan paused as he pulled his shirt over his head. "Is this something you're ready to talk about, yet?" 

no no no no no.

"No?" Wade tested. Logan nodded then continued pulling his shirt down. 

Why is this starting to feel so…normal? Why is that so scary?

Wade leaned his head against the window watching huge swatches of desert and scrubland pass.

bored bored bored bored

Every time he tried to reach into his brain for something to think about, he felt like he was working through sludge. He flicked on the radio. Country. Gospel. A few preachers screaming about whatever passed for God these days. 

"Oooh, classic rock." Wade let his hands drift back into his lap. Logan turned the volume down slightly. 

"I think the age on my license is a fib." He tapped the panel of the radio. "Because I remember seeing Led Zeppelin live. They played this. But I'm one-hundred percent an adult in my memory. Passing a joint with someone…" Logan stared out through the window, eyes narrowing. "1972. Who would I have been hanging out with in 1972?"

"I'm imagining the world's worst blunt rotation, right now, not gonna lie."

Man, he's old. OLD old. I felt like I knew that because I'm not freaked out by being a graverobber. 

Maybe I'm a gerontophile.

I know the word gerontophile, apparently. Don't think I could spell it, though.

G-e-r….a?

That's not right. 

A small chapel slunk by them in the distance. 

The memory this triggered slushed through his brain like a waterfall over boulders. Sharp and tumultuous and never ending. 

"We fought over getting married. Or being married. Not to each other, just in general. I was engaged at some point, and it went tits up. You apparently can't keep a relationship together at all without someone dying or becoming a super-villain."

"That hurts. Feels like the truth, though, so I guess I can't be mad."

"Right right right. So we decided that maybe we just weren't the marrying type, right now, but we…" Wade fell off. The memory broke here. The pieces of information fell away too far, just the emotions remaining. "Something happened there. We…resolved the marriage idea…but that led to a fight. Or a…a discussion? Raised voices. I think we were drunk."

"Can we get drunk?"

"Maybe high? Oh god, I don't know want to know what kind of drug actually gets us fucked up. Okay let me think."

"....after what we've been through."

"You really don't think it would have happened without…"

"I mean, infinite universes and whatever but…"

"...that spark, though…"

"...Not denying that. Just practical…catalyst…growing through…"

"You make it sound like trauma bonding."

"Maybe it was, at first, but that's fine, right? At this point?"

"Yeah but…"

The voices layered on top of each other. He couldn't tell who was who. He pressed his hands to his ears, trying to hear the voices again, but they slipped away. 

"We got caught in some kind of gang war on our anniversary," Logan said suddenly. "And we had a conversation about what we thought our lives would look like if we weren't fighting all the time. We thought we'd be bored.  And we were…talking to Storm about it while doing drills in the danger room. And she called us emotional masochists, and I said something back and oh…that…didn't go well. I remember that…I don't…remember the rest."

Then it got weird. I remember. Holy shit. 

All the questions we had no idea how to answer. 

If we weren't superheros, would we have anything in common? 

Did we only work so well together because we could both regenerate? 

We were going to live for so so so so so long? What did the rest of our lives look like?

Wade pressed his palms to his ears again, trying to pull up the conversation in his head. Trying to relive it. It was gone, though. All of it. The echo of the information remained, but the memory itself just slipped back into the ether. 

"We need to get to Vegas. This started there." Wade tapped his knuckles on the window. "This isn't fun anymore. 

#####

Vegas lost a lot of its shine pulling into the main drag in the middle of the afternoon. 

"Any of this looking familiar, babe?" Logan asked. The term of endearment sort of slipped out. Muscle memory. 

"There." Wade pointed through the window. "We were in that casino."

"Good enough for me."

Weekday at 2 pm was apparently optimal parking, and they were walking into the front of the casino within ten minutes. 

"Oh fuck, not you again." A security guard was the first to approach them, hand hovering near his gun. 

"No one likes to see us," Wade mused. 

"Considering everything we've remembered, so far, I'm less and less surprised." Logan held up his hands to the guard who still hadn't decided if he was going to shoot, yet. 

"We're just trying to find somebody," Logan said. "Someone we talked to while we were here last." 

"You know how many people come in and out of here?" The guard said. 

"But you remember us," Wade pointed out. 

"Fair," admitted the guard.

"You guys were talking to Dr. Tom." This voice was a young woman in a waitstaff uniform with an empty drink tray tucked under her arm. 

"And where do we find Dr. Tom?" Logan sighed. They were so close to the end of this. This stupid stupid wild goose chase. 

Dr. Tom, apparently, was a plastic surgeon, and worked out of an office not too far off the strip. A little light threat to his secretary got them back in Dr. Tom's office. 

"You can calm the fuck down," Dr. Tom said, gesturing to the chairs in front of his desk. None of them sat, and he gave up trying. "All I did was overhear you two talking about how it would be nice if you could forget for a while. I happened to point you to a friend of mine who happens to offer that service. People like to leave things in Vegas, sometimes."

"So you'll point us to this friend." Logan stepped forward. 

"Fucking yes. Just ask politely I'm not a super-villain, you weirdos. Jesus." Dr. Tom stepped back toward the wall. "But if you're going to go in there snapping out claws, I'm less-inclined to hand over the address. She's a good woman. She's trying to cure Alzheimer's and shit. That's how she figured out her compound. She uses the money she makes for research."

"Oh I hate when the antagonist is actually a good guy," Wade complained. 

"Okay," Logan agreed. "We just want to talk to her." 

This time they had to wait a few hours for her to get off work. They pulled up to a neatly aligned house out in the suburbs and the woman who greeted them, Dr. Charlotte Stone,  invited them freely into her garage. 

"Gentlemen! I'm so happy to see you again. Is it going well?"

"No," Wade said. 

"Surviving," Logan added. 

"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that." Charlotte rerolled her hair into a bun and lowered the garage door behind them. "Did you put together letters and leave them in easy to find places?

They hovered weirdly in the center of her garage. Two walls were lab equipment, the third refrigerated storage. A computer station was tucked into the corner nearest the door into the house. 

"We did," Logan confirmed. "But I think we did it wrong. We didn't put in our notes why we did this memory…thing."

"You were trying to settle a bet, I believe, but let me see my notes." She pulled a binder down from a set of half cabinets. "Here we go. Let me pull up your video."

"Wait what? Video?" Wade moved forward, trying to peek over the top of the binder. She handed it over easily. "A lot of shorthand, so I don't know if you can read it."

Wade dropped the binder on the counter. 

"I can barely read, to start. I don't know why I bothered." 

Charlotte had moved to the computer, though, shifting focus. 

"Here you boys, go." She stepped back from the screen, and rotated it to them to see better. 

The video versions of themselves sat in their colored combat suits, bickering over who was going to explain. 

"It was my idea, I'll do it," said Video Wade. 

"Feels weird getting that confirmed," said real life Wade.

"I am convinced that we are soulmates. So in any universe, we would eventually meet and fall in love." Video Wade said.

"No you actually don't," video Logan corrected. "You're just trying to be contrarian." Video Logan turned flush to the camera again. "We've been having this much bigger conversation the past couple of months about the future of our relationship, which we'll --you'll remember again at some point. And I happened to say that I don't think that our relationship would look like it currently does without having gone through the things we went through. I didn't even say we wouldn't be together. Just…it'd be different."

"But you said it while we were in a wedding chapel," Video Wade said. "Feel like that changes the tone."

The screen versions of them bickered some more. 

"From this side of the screen, this argument looks really stupid," Wade said. 

"We look really upset, though," Logan noted. 

"You kind of were," Charlotte confirmed with a grim chuckle. "People only come to me when they think things are insurmountably dire and looking for a new perspective."

The video had started talking to them again, Wade staring down the camera. 

"We decided the only way to know for sure was to start from scratch. Wipe it all out and see what happens." Video Wade tapped the table they were sitting out with a sense of finality. There was a little more chatting, but the video seemed to have delivered all the important information.

"So how did this work?" Logan asked. "We have so many gaps."

"It's a series of liquid capsule pills depending on how much you want to get rid of and for how long. I gave you the first one to make sure you didn't have an immediate adverse reaction, then sent you off with the rest of the doses and instructions. Told you to do it in a safe place under the supervision of some friends. It's supposed to be a slow, gentle process to give you the option to stop at any time if it gets too weird. Guess you might not have…followed directions."

"Yeah, sounds like us," Wade sighed. 

"Okay. What's the plan to reverse it?" Logan shifted on his feet, nervous.

"Oh, it should wear off soon. Probably by tomorrow morning." 

"Thank God, okay. Okay." Logan clapped his hands, rubbing them together. "Then that's it. It's over. All that stress and mystery."

"Yeah." Wade shifted on his own feet. 

"Well did it work?" Charlotte asked.

"What do you mean?" Logan responded. 

"Did you figure out the thing you were looking for? This whole…soul mate thing?"

Logan rubbed his hand along the back of his neck. 

"We uh…we woke up in a shack in the middle of Arizona."

Charlotte made a face at that but let him continue.

"And uh." Logan looked for the words for half a moment. "And I'm pretty certain I, uh…I woke up already in love with him."

"Oh, I know I did," Wade agreed. 

"I told you that might happen. I can wipe experiential life stuff, but the really strong emotional triggers very frequently linger."

"Cool, so we didn't learn anything." Wade shuffled his feet on the raw garage floor. Charlotte shrugged at them. 

"I find that when the memories come back, you figure out whatever you were meant to. Even if it doesn't seem like it, at first." 

#####

"Not that I'm complaining about room service snowcrab, why are we holing up in a hotel with the strip literally right there?" Wade picked a bit of shell out of his teeth, a chip of it sneaking into the leg meat when he cracked it open. 

Logan had found a place to get cigars and was finishing one on the balcony. Evening was bringing more people through, making everything a little louder. A little busier. Logan stamped out the end of his cigar on the railing and came back inside, closing the glass door shut. Everything dropped to a dull thrum again, just the sound of 30 Day Fiance reruns playing in the background on the TV. 

"Charlotte said she couldn't explain all our actions with her pills, so the probably don't work the same for us." Logan wandered restlessly through the room, stopping in the doorway of the ensuite bathroom. "So we're staying put. At least until I can get a hold of Scott and the others."

"Where the fuck did they go? They were supposed to meet us here." 

"Fucking dragon came back or something. I don't know." Logan leaned back against the doorframe even harder. 

He looked so tired . 

Fuck he looks how I feel, so I must be a goddamn mess in comparison. 

Wade swayed up from his hotel lounger and moved across the room. He wrapped his arms around Logan's waist and pressed his face into Logan's chest. Logan returned the affection with his arms gently resting around Wade's hips. 

"Holy fuck, I didn't realize how big this bathtub was when we walked in." Wade pulled free and wandered over to it, sitting on the edge. "Fucking Jacuzzi jets. Holy shit."

Oh, I'm getting in this bitch, right now.

He immediately started moving his hands over the knobs and looking in the cabinets for something to put in the water. 

"Holy fuck they have bathbombs." 

holy fuck glitter

All the rest of his thoughts were just about getting the shrinkwrap open and getting into the water. Soaking in it. Soothing his nerve endings.

Some clothes hit the floor out of the corner of his eye, and he flicked over his shoulder. Logan had shucked off his shirt and was now working on his belt. 

uhhhhhhh?!? 

fuck fuck

Now he was thinking about other things than taking a bath. 

"What?" Logan said when he caught Wade staring. "It's big enough for two. I thought that was the point." 

"No you just went from 'don't fucking touch me' to making out against a car to cuddling to bathing together really really fast. Getting a little whiplash." 

"Sorry." Logan flicked his hands. "I don't know. Things are just starting to feel normal again, so I'm just…I don't know. If you don't-" 

"Oh no. Now that you've started, you better take those fucking pants off." The crown-shaped bath bomb burst in swirls of pink glitter and shimmer. Wade dropped his eyes as Logan got in the water, something too overwhelming about seeing him naked all at once right now. 

His dick has been in my mouth. 

My dick has been in his mouth. 

We've been inside each other in so many different ways. 

calm the fuck down 

His body made the motions  on auto-pilot, stripping off his clothes and sliding into the water. Then through the water to sidle into the space between Logan's thighs. The instant their naked bodies pressed against each other, a year of touch memory flooded his body. 

hands touching, knuckles brushing

blades in my body, me begging for it

pressing inside me, thrusting hard, over and over

his soft, pulsing insides

teeth on flesh and flesh on teeth

"Fuck," Wade whispered, parting his knees around Logan's hips, wrapping his arms around Logan's shoulders so he didn't slide back into the water. 

I'm so hard. Oh god. I've never been this hard in my life.

Wade didn't even ask before slipping his hand down between them and taking both their cocks in his hand. Logan wasn't quite so hard to start, but that changed immediately.

"Wade," Logan cooed into his ear. "This wasn't necessarily the idea when I got in here."

"You don't get to be sexually sanctimonious on me. I can remember some things now. I talk a big game, but you're actually ten times hornier than me." He grabbed Logan's chin in his hand. "And we get the chance to have a first time again. How cool is that?" 

Logan rolled his face into Wade's neck. 

"I'm not saying 'no', I'm saying lean back."

Logan hinged forward, moving Wade into position below him, straddling Wade's lap. His mouth covered his, nipping and gnawing at Wade's lips, tongue flicking over Wade's gums and teeth. 

inside me

inside him

hard against hard, soft against soft, hard against soft

Logan lifted a little, hinging off the bottom of the tub at his knees. His hand came around Wade's cock and he pressed the tip to his entrance. 

"Oh baby girl don't go in raw," Wade gasped. 

"I'll trust the healing factor," Logan growled back, then eased down slowly on Wade's length until he settled at the base. "Okay, that actually hurts a lot more than I expected, you're right." He pressed his forehead to Wade's. "Ah. Okay. Okay. Fuck." He rolled his hips in a small circle, running up and down a half pulse on Wade's cock. "That's better. Okay. Yeah. Ah. That's good."

Logan kissed him again, this time quick and chaste, of all fucking things. 

"How does it feel, Wade?" Logan hissed. "Do I feel good inside?"

"Oh, I think I might die and eject everything from my body if you talk like that again." Wade clenched around Logan's hips and waist, nails digging into his skin and the muscle and fat and tissue underneath. Then Logan properly started moving, shifting up and down on his strong thighs and calves. 

I'm gonna get my memories back just to die from a cardiac arrest. 

"Why did you change your mind? About…about doing this while our memories are shot? About…everything…" Wade had to concentrate on the words, but he needed to say them. He needed to hear it out loud.

Logan whined and panted as he spoke, throat tight over the words, voice sparking at the top every time he dropped down. 

"You said you would fold to a one night stand with me, no question. I imagined the same thing. Meeting you in a bar. You sitting down…hah…next to me. Buying me another round of whatever I was having. You'd probably annoy the shit out of me, at first, but the fact is after a little while I'd probably start thinking you're kind of funny. Kind of…nhg…kind of cute. And if you flirted with me and asked me to go home with you, I would have probably done it. We would have fucked, and it would have been hot. So why hold back, at this point?" 

"So you agree we're soul mates? "

"I agree that we're two horny idiots who can do this to each other without getting hurt." Along the top of the water, he clicked out his blades, jabbed them into Wade's ribs, then pulled back. Wade squealed.

fuck shit fuck fuck. 

It is so fucked up how good that feels.

"So given certain variables, I see us drifting together for some real kinky sex, at minimum. I don't know how the other stuff works, just yet." He gripped Wade around the chin and pulled his face up to kiss him again. "Any other concerns? Because I'd like to keep going without having to think so hard."

"No, I'm…I'm good…" 

Wade's hips started bucking up into Logan, trying to sink even deeper into him as Logan came down. The water sloshed out of the tub, swirling around their conjoined bodies and swishing into the in between spaces in a constant rhythm. He grasped for Logan's cock and started hurried, desperate strokes. 

"Slow down, baby. I wanna come together." Logan buried his face into the side of Wade's head. 

This feels…feels….feels…

…different…

soft and hard, hard and soft

They didn't normally do it like this. He could feel the shape of that. That weird combination of familiarity and novelty. His muscle memory wasn't kicking in, so he was falling back on intuition and guesswork and being an adult with, presumably, at least an ounce of sexual experience. 

He spread his free around the outside of Logan's ass, willing him to sink lower, to bury Wade deeper inside. Logan sensed the desire and somehow got his body to drop even farther, to open even more for Wade. 

The orgasm almost snuck up on him, the heat and weight of the water distracting all his other never endings. He started stroking Logan again, taking to a speed he somehow knew would bring him there. Logan arched forward, hands gripping the edge of the tub on either side of Wade's head. His hips moved from a pulse to a grind. Wade moved faster. 

Wade came hard inside, pulling from the tops of his aching feet and toes and clenching his teeth.

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

Logan let out a guttural howl. Then there was a sharp metal sound that clanked against porcelain. The sidewall of the tub collapsed against Wade's shoulders. 

"Fuck." The plug was to his left, and he slammed the switch open to drain the tub. He sat up, still inside, bringing Logan along with a hand around his back. Logan's claws were still out. Wade touched them. 

"Peanut. The claws."

"Right, yeah." Logan, however, was staring at the backside of the tub. "I didn't totally break it. It's still containing the water." Logan dropped his arms around Wade's shoulders. "That was fast on the draw for the plug."

"I have a sneaking suspicion this has happened before." 

"Hm." Logan trailed his fingers up and down Wade's spine. "Wanna go again?"

"Five minutes. Then I'm bottom this time. So get ready for me to be as bratty as possible."

#####

"Loooooooooogan." It was mid-morning. His boyfriend's voice was in his ear. His boyfriend's teeth were nipping at his skin. His boyfriend's hand was on his chest, now it was sliding down his stomach. 

"I'm spent, babe," Logan said. 

"I know, honey-suckle just trying to get your attention." Wade rolled on top of him, hooking his leg over Logan's hip. "We're not married. The license you found was, like…a gag gift. A souvenir. We never actually had them send it to the registrar..

"Yeah, I remembered while your mouth was around my dick." 

Wade gently tossed his phone across to the other side of the bed.

"I found the text thread where I was pranking Laura with it." 

"I don't think you ever showed me what she said.

"She said she was going to call me 'step-daddy' in a way that made everyone around us as uncomfortable as possible." Wade rubbed his forehead against his chest. 

"That's my girl," Logan chuckled. "Haven't remembered why we were in Arizona, yet, though."

"Yeah. See. So I actually remember that pretty well, now. Um. I had the idea that we should be completely and totally away from anyone and anything we knew when we finished the memory wipe. I knew about a safehouse outside Ajo from my pre-cancer merc days. We just didn't make it, I think. Saying it back, though, I'm not following my own logic."

"Yeah, I have a memory of watching you snort a line of cocaine, but me not stopping you. So I think something about that first pill she gave us really fucked us up."

"Yeah, I'm remembering mostly everything, but there's about three days where the timeline just isn't…it just isn't, you know what I mean?" 

"I think we're going to have to accept that some stuff isn't going to come back." 

"I'm fine with that. All the important stuff did." Wade rested his face into the crook of Logan's neck. "So…how are we feeling? Now that we know why we did this?"

"I feel like we're idiots," Logan replied. 

"Yeah…I actually do feel…extremely dumb holy shit Charlotte was right. I'm having such extreme clarity about everything. It's like going on an ayahuasca trip but worse, somehow."

Logan rolled over and pressed Wade into the mattress. He propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at him. Wade stared up through his eyelashes up at him. Logan wrapped his hand around Wade's side. 

"I think it's going to be a very long time before we retire from being badasses and have to worry about not having anything in common. So we can wait to worry about that then."

"Oh, you're assuming we'll still be together when we're old and decrepit ugly."

"I intend to be handsome 'til I die, so whatever you want to do is up to you." Logan pressed his lips to Wade's forehead. "But I know for a fact I'm having too much fun to voluntarily stop this any time soon. So unless you die on me…"

Wade lifted up and pecked him on the lips. 

"Which we both know is extremely difficult. So, yeah, no. You're going to be stuck with me forever. Sucks to be you."

"Sucks to be me." Logan dropped down to lie on top of Wade, tucking his arms underneath him. Wade's arm came up around his back and he scratched his nails across Logan's skin.

"You know, we could leave Las Vegas properly married. Just make the appointment."

"Nah," Logan replied. "When we get married I want to do it properly. I want to remember everything."

"Hm." Wade replied, humming low and deep. 

#####

When we get married. Not if. When. 

when when when when when when

When.   

[sarahowritesostucky]

Rating: Mature

Pairing: Steve x ofc x Bucky; Steve x Bucky

Word Count: 1422

Tags: Dom/sub, bdsm au, dom Bucky, sub reader, hurt/comfort, enemies to lovers, gay sex'n'stuff, straight sex'n'stuff, Steve being a literal Golden Retriever, mental health issues, dub-con, forced submission, referenced childhood abuse and resultant mental health issues, bakery au, m/f/m, gentle domination, total power exchange

Summary: The stigma and shame of being a submissive has kept Mary unfulfilled and in the closet her whole life, until an inciting incident leads to Bucky and Steve taking her in and giving her everything she was always too afraid to ask for.

Now that the 1st is over for anybody unlucky enough to stumble across this: it's an April Fool's chapter- not real.

11. Cheesecake

Two days later, Steve decides to take a late afternoon nap. He wakes from a very deep sleep to the sunlight gone from beyond the widows, and before he can even groan over however the hell long he’s slept, the sound of Bucky and Mary arguing—loudly—reaches his ears.

“Well I don’t care what she said! This is insane! You’re not going!”

“You can’t stop me!”

“You bet your ass I can!”

Steve groans and turns over in the bed. He’s so sick and tired of this. Having Mary stay at their place was a good idea, in theory, but it hasn’t worked out at all the way either he or Bucky were hoping. All it’s done is make all three of them miserable, and put a strain on his and Bucky’s marriage. Getting up, he decides to put his foot down. They can’t keep doing this.

Steve goes out to the living room, where Mary is dressed in a shocking amount of nothing, and what she is wearing all seems to be red latex. “Mare?” he says groggily. 

Bucky whirls around. “Did you know about this?”

“I told you he doesn’t.”

“Know about what?” Steve asks grumpily. 

“Well it wouldn’t be the first secret you’ve kept for her behind my back.”

Steve lowers the hand that’s been rubbing his eyes. Uh oh. Bucky is half naked, he notices, with his joggers and sneakers on and nothing else. Steve figures he must’ve been heading for the shower, as the arm is off, too. 

Over by the door, Mary is shrugging on her coat. “I’ll see you guys later. Have a nice life."

“Hey! Don’t you open that door.”

When she opens it, Steve is surprised to see none other than Thor standing in the hallway. 

“Is that … the Pro?” he asks, confusedly. Behind Thor’s mass are two other people, a girl and a man, also decked out in bold and scant sub wear. Oh, Steve thinks. That’s the girl who Mary made friends with at the CDP the other week. What was her name again? Daryl, Deena, Diane ...

“Darcy!” Bucky growls, pointing at her. “What the fuck did you talk her into?!”

“She doesn’t need you,” Darcy says bravely (or as bravely as she can from behind Thor’s massive body). “She’s gonna come live with us and be our sister-wife.”

“Your what?!”

“Don’t worry, fellows!” Thor booms with a smile. “My harem is a lovely place to live. I promise I’ll take excellent care of her!”  He ignores Bucky’s furious expression and shoots Steve a thumbs up gesture. “Perhaps we’ll see you at the social!”

“Mary,” Bucky warns, but Mary’s already grabbed her purse and gone out the door. She waggles her fingers at them and says she'll send 'someone neutral' by for her stuff. “Don't worry about me,” she says. "I finally figured out what I really need."

The door shuts behind her, and Bucky and Steve just stand there for a while, processing what just happened.

“... what just happened?” Steve asks.

Bucky goes and throws himself onto the couch, looking totally stunned. “Mary decided that she’s going to get her custody transferred to Thor so she can live with Darcy and her boyfriend whatshisface at their house."

Steve’s heartrate picks up. “But … the custody order,” he says.

“Yeah.” Bucky glares across the room at Steve. “Apparently she went to Linda and told her we refused sex, so Linda signed off on it. A judge gave her a new ruling yesterday.”

“What?!”

“Yeah. That’s where she was all day, not at work.”

Steve gasps, in disbelief. “Well … there’s gotta be something we can do?!” He flings his arm at the door where Mary just left. “Where the hell was he taking her, anyway?”

“A social.” Bucky’s expression loses some of its bite, and he shakes his head. “Maybe this is for the best,” he mumbles. “She wasn’t getting what she needs here. We can’t force her to want us. And she obviously doesn’t.” He shakes his head, sighing. “It would’ve ended like this, anyway. So maybe she just saved us a lot of awkward conversations.”

Steve huffs, frustrated by that. “How could she not want us?” he complains, gesturing down his own body where he stands and then Bucky’s. “We’re way out of her league! She should’ve been jumping for joy that we wanted to be with—”

“Yeah well obviously there were mitigating factors,” Bucky snaps, looking bitterly down at the left side of his body where the arm isn’t. “So she finally went and did something right for herself. Good on her.”

Steve can’t believe what he’s hearing. He puts his hands on his hips, pissed at Bucky’s defeatist attitude. “So you’re not even gonna go after her?”

Bucky shakes his head. “What’s the point? We didn’t have a future with her. At least this way she’ll get what she needs … with someone she wants it from.”

Steve scoffs, angry, but then he deflates some. “Well fuck.”

Bucky nods. “Fuck indeed.” 

Steve’s shoulders slump, and his focus shifts to making sure that Bucky’s okay. “Hey,” he nudges gently, going over to the couch. “What do you need, babe?”

Bucky gives him a sad but fond smile and holds his arm out along the back of the couch in indication. “Just you, Sweetheart. C’mere.”

Steve sinks down to snuggle up beside him, and the two of them talk quietly for a while about what the hell they’re going to do now. Now that the heat of the moment's worn off, they both can concede that there's no better person to take care of Mary than Thor. And this way, she'll have a best friend in Darcy as well. Not all relationships are meant to last, but that doesn't make them not meaningful.

And as for the two of them? Well ...

“You know you’re all I need,” Bucky says quietly to him later, once they’re in bed, in the dark, hands clasped between them and cum drying on their bellies. “Always were.”

Steve rolls over and gives him a tender kiss. “Me too, Buck. Me too.”

They don’t discover the farewell cheesecake in the fridge until the next morning, when both of them have already made love again and showered and resolved to look on the bright side about how they at least accomplished one thing: and that’s that they definitely saved Mary’s life and helped her go from a very bad place, to where she needs to be.

“Oh man,” Steve groans when he opens the fridge and sees them sitting there. “I’m gonna miss this, though.” He pulls out the two plates of cheesecake to show Bucky. “She really got to know our tastes, huh?” One of the slices is blueberry, the other is Dulce. Bucky smiles fondly and nods. “Yeah,” he says quietly. “Yeah she did.” 

They sit together and eat their respective slices at the breakfast bar, feeling much better about the outcome of things than they did yesterday. “I’m happy for her,” Bucky finally decides, because he is. “And we’ll always be able to keep in touch. So that’s good.”

“Yeah,” Steve agrees. “It’s good.” They share a warm smile of affection and briefly clasp hands. Steve raises his eyebrows at Bucky’s metal arm. “Do you really need that if we're just goin' to the farmer’s market?” 

Bucky chuckles and shakes his head. “Naw. You're right.” He comes around the breakfast bar and offers his left side to Steve with a loving smile. “Why don’t you help me take it off?” 

Steve does, and he knows that they’re going to be alright.

Epilogue: 

Mary forms a relationship with Thor and falls in love with him. Darcy and Ian are just her friends, and they all wind up living together in one house, in a polyamorous relationship.

Mary texts Steve and Bucky starting a few days after her departure, apologizing for how she left, but that she knows it was for the best. All three of them maintain contact through texting and the occasional event at the CDP, and they all forgive each other and form an incredible friendship (so much so that sometimes even Thor gets jealous!)

Bucky and Steve entertain the idea of dating around for a potential third, but they eventually decide that they’re it for each other, and Bucky just uses the Pro subs at the CDP from time to time. 

All in all, they’re happy, and it’s very gratifying to know that they helped Mary get her life turned around. She even winds up opening her own little micro bakery not too far from their place, so Steve and Bucky can continue enjoying the delicious desserts she makes. 

Mary, Darcy, and Thor have an informal poly wedding ceremony (which Bucky and Steve happily attend), opting against a traditional marriage that would only recognize one of them, and within two years, both Mary and Darcy are expecting!

Bucky and Steve enthusiastically agree to be the baby’s godparents. The experience convinces them to pursue adoption themselves.

And after the Christening, everyone gathers at the CDP for a wonderful celebration … with loads of cheesecake.

Please don't hate me for this ending! I really think it's in the characters best interests and a more realistic ending for all three of them.

... And it's April 1st though, so ...

This wasn't a real chapter. And it's basically the only harmless prank I can play on anyone today, so. There you have it. Happy April Fool's day! (and 🤞🏻please don't unsubscribe in anger 😅)

And in case you're not a fan of pranks: well I'm writing the next (real) chapter today and (should be) able to post either tonight or tomorrow night, so don't fume too much! 🥰

[elvenisms]

on my doorstep —; e.m.

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader [5.6k]

summary: An unexpected gift exchange between you and Eddie leads to an eventful Valentine's Day. 18+ MDNI

cw: smut, fluff, no use of y/n, mutual pining, best friends to lovers, first i love yous (':, sub!eddie if you squint, oral (female receiving), fingering, unprotected p in v (as always, don't do this), lovesick idiots and emotional sex.

author's note: getting this up literally ten minutes before valentine's day ends! woohoo! got carried away (as i often do), hope u like it. <3

masterlist

February 10th, 1986

It was a somewhat chilly day in Hawkins, the wind whipping around dead leaves that hadn’t yet been raked, the trees prickly and barren. Forest Hills looked its best like this, you thought; you were never one for hot summer days, or freezing winter nights.

Inside your trailer, Nancy was pouring a cup of coffee, wearing a matching set of pajamas that was oh-so her. That alone made her look more put together than you or Robin, clad in baggy, mismatched sweats. 

“What time do you work, Robs?” You asked mid-yawn, blankets pooling around where you sat on the couch.

She frowned beside you, squeezed her eyes shut, and threw her head back dramatically. “Don’t remind me.”

“Can’t Steve cover for you?” Nancy rounded the corner with two steaming cups, handing them off to the two of you. “He kinda owes you. You covered for him for that date last week.”

“That is a great observation.” Robin pointed a finger at the girl, as if she’d forgotten. “I’ll call him.”

Knock, knock, knock. All three of your heads flew to the door, then back at each other, brows furrowed. 

“Expecting someone?” Nancy asked, and you shook your head in response.

Curious, you threw the blankets off of you, cradling your cup of coffee as you approached the door. Maybe the kids skipped school, had some adventure planned? Maybe Eddie was bored?

You unlocked it, then swung it open—no one was there.

You looked down, confused, and were met with a sea of red; a bouquet of roses, neatly organized inside a vase, sat on your porch. On top, a small note with your name written on it. 

Your jaw dropped slightly in shock. You’d almost forgotten that Valentine’s Day was fast approaching, and certainly didn’t anticipate getting any gifts. You’d been single for almost a year, and not exactly searching.

No reason, really. It just never felt right.

You picked up the bouquet, wide eyes scanning the park for any sign of who dropped it off, but you didn’t see a thing. 

When you turned around, Robin almost spat out her coffee. Nancy had a huge grin on her face. 

“Do you have a secret admirer?” She teased, but it was full of love.

“Not that I know of,” You sat the vase down on the table between the three of you. It really was beautiful. “But this definitely has my name on it.”

“Five bucks says I know who that’s from.” Robin raised her eyebrows, staring sheepishly over her mug. 

“I don’t think I’ll take that bet,” Nancy was still grinning her face off. “I think I know, too.”

You were even more confused now. You looked between them, expectant.

“ItsobviouslyEddie,” Robin spat out, then threw a hand against her mouth. Nancy rolled her eyes. 

“You could’ve given her, like, more than half a second to figure it ou—”

“What?” You interrupted, incredulous. “Why would… Eddie’s my best friend, you guys. It’s not—it’s not like that.”

It wasn’t like that; you just spent a lot of time together. Sometimes you watched movies, and fell asleep wrapped up in each other’s arms. Sometimes you’d go to his shows, watch him play guitar, and bite your lip so hard it bled. Sometimes you had… questionable dreams about him. 

Okay, maybe it was like that. But not for him.

The two girls were looking at you like you just failed a polygraph test. 

“Stop looking at me like that.” You grumbled, setting your coffee down on the table. “He doesn’t feel that way about me, okay? That’s not even his handwriting. It’s way too nice.”

Robin rose from the couch. “Whatever you say, chica,” She headed for the phone, eyeing you as she went. “I’m gonna call Steve.”

You looked to Nancy, who simply shrugged with a knowing smile, then back to the flowers. It wasn’t Eddie. It couldn’t be.

But what if it was?

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

February 11th, 1986

“I think I blew it.”

Eddie’s elbows rested on Steve’s kitchen counter, face buried in his hands. The house was empty, per usual, which Eddie always thought was insane—he wondered what it was like to have money for a place like this, let alone have it and never be in it.

“Oh please,” Steve had a mouth full of cereal, sitting a few feet away at the dining table. “What the hell are you talking about? You got her flowers. Girls love flowers.”

“She’s not just a girl.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it, man. She’s a goddess, she hung the moon, she changed your life.” He gestured with his hand, rattling off the painstakingly cheesy things Eddie had said before. “Whatever, she loves flowers. Stop stressing.”

To anyone else, Steve might’ve looked like an asshole for dealing with Eddie’s anguish so casually. In reality, he quite appreciated it. Someone had to keep him grounded.

“Do you think she knows it’s me?” Eddie’s face finally left his hands, looking at his friend with a concerned expression.

“Doesn’t matter if she knows it’s you.” Steve pointed his spoon at him. “She hopes it’s you.”

“And how do we know that?”

“You know nothing, clearly.” Steve got up, carrying his empty bowl to the sink. Eddie rolled his eyes theatrically. “I, however, see how she looks at you when you’re together.”

Eddie’s heart did a little flip inside his chest. He wanted to believe that, he really did—but he doubted the words. “How… how does she look at me, then?”

Steve shrugged. “Sometimes like she wants to kiss you,” He spun on his heel, landing right across from where Eddie sat. “Sometimes like she wants to eat you.”

He swallowed harshly.

In the year that Eddie had known you, he’d been gone on you. Like, the whole time. It only got worse as you became better friends.

You’d help him study, insistent that he finally graduated, but his mind went fuzzy at your bare thighs, your floral perfume, the heat of your skin hovering just beside his. When he knew you were coming to his shows, he’d get indescribably nervous, petrified of embarrassing himself, despite knowing you probably couldn’t care less.

He thanked God he’d never seen or heard about you with another guy; at the same time, it was a little unbelievable. Hence, Steve had finally convinced him to do something—anything—remotely indicative of his feelings. 

Flowers. A good way to test the waters, Eddie thought, without giving himself away. 

After another thirty minutes of crisis-control, Steve drove him home. The boy gave him a comforting pat on the shoulder. “Don’t sweat it, Ed, seriously.”

He appreciated it, though it did nothing to quell his anxiety. With a nod and a weak smile, he opened the passenger-side door, making toward his trailer.

He glanced at your place as he passed it. Just two days ago, it would’ve been so easy to knock on your door, ask to hang out. It suddenly felt impossible—perhaps because he was no longer shoving his feelings for you to the wayside. He’d made a move. Maybe he’d ruined everything between the two of you.

Mind racing, he treaded up his steps, nearly crushing what laid in front of his door.

A box of chocolates.

His whole body froze, staring at them wide-eyed. Slowly, he bent down, noticing a note stuck between the ribbon. Eds.

Not Eddie, not Ed… Eds.

The nickname he’d heard fall from your sweet lips a thousand times, and hoped he’d hear a thousand more. His heart thumped wildly.

He snatched the box, free hand digging through his pocket for his key, desperate to get inside before he passed away on the spot. He rushed to the couch, studying the note with gentle hands.

All it said was his name. But right now, it felt worthy of a golden frame, a tourist attraction—as if it were the eighth wonder of the world.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

February 12th, 1986

Despite the fact that you still questioned whether or not the roses were from Eddie, today was the fourth day in a row you hadn’t heard from him. No calls, no drop in visits—it was highly unusual. 

It was also a very good sign that it was, in fact, him. 

You hadn’t been able to focus on anything, especially since you dropped the chocolates off at his door. If he wasn’t your so-called ‘secret admirer’, you would have to explain all of this somehow. Well, I thought it was you, because I kinda hoped it was you, and…

The thought made you shudder.

“Are you okay?” Max asked, shoving a pair of sunglasses on her head.

You snapped out of your trance, looking between her and El. “I—yeah, I’m good. Are you guys ready to go?”

The two girls had showed up on your doorstep this afternoon, all giggles and playful shoves, begging to be taken to Starcourt. They took advantage of the soft spot you had for them often.

Soon enough, your run-down car was pulling into the mall parking lot.

“Alright, two hours tops, okay? I’m on night shift tonight, I need enough time to go home and change clothes.” You put on your best parental voice, the three of you making your way toward the entrance. 

The girls nodded happily, just excited to have hitched a ride at all. “You sound like Steve.” El quipped, earning a laugh from the redhead.

It would be nice to do some window-shopping, you thought, to take your mind off of things, if that was at all possible. You just wanted an answer—you wanted to be certain it was him, stop the spiral into thinking you might lose your best friend over some candy. 

Something came over you just inside the mall, right as El and Max were about to split off.

“Max,” You blurted, and she looked at you questioningly. “Weird… Um, weird question. Have you seen Eddie lately? Like, in our neighborhood?”

“No, don’t think so.” She shook her head, then narrowed her eyes at you. “Why?”

“No reason.”

You really were a terrible liar. “Is he ignoring you?”

“No! I mean… yes, but—no, I don’t think so?” You bit your lip. Jesus Christ, way to keep it cool. 

A maniacal grin spread across Max’s face, gesturing for El, who was preoccupied by a display, to come over. “We’re hitting Orange Julius first, and you—” She jabbed a finger into your chest. “—are telling us everything.”

For fuck’s sake.

Within ten minutes, the three of you were sitting at a table, sucking down your frozen drinks. You quietly hoped the brain freeze would give you a stroke.

“Spill.” Max commanded, both girls clearly excited for some gossip.

Before saying a word, you sat down your cup, extending both pinkies. “First of all, this stays between us, alright?”

They each hooked a pinky with their own, and you nodded, satisfied. So much for keeping your mind off of it. 

“Two days ago, someone left flowers on my doorstep. And I… I hope it was Eddie, because I might’ve left chocolates on his doorstep yesterday.”

Both girls squealed, clutching each other in excitement. “But, like, I don’t know if it was him, guys.” You were quick to subdue it, putting a hand out in front of you.

“It totally was!” El chirped, and Max nodded, joining in. “You guys are, like, idiots in love.”

“We are not!” The blush on your cheeks told a much different story. “Okay, whatever. Four people have now told me it’s definitely him, so guess I have my answer.”

“You already knew the answer.” Max rolled her eyes, rising from her seat with El. “Now, go get him something nice, and we’ll meet you back here in an hour and a half.”

The two girls skipped away. You took a dramatic slurp of your Orange Julius. 

Fine, you decided, less stressing, more shopping. You couldn’t take back the chocolates, so there was no point in worrying about it—que sera, sera, or however that goes.

You roamed the mall for about forty-five minutes, making pit stops at your favorite places; you bumped into the girls at Afterthoughts, where they were taking a decision on friendship bracelets very seriously. You stopped into Spencer’s, a favorite of yours for band tees and silly knick knacks—you almost got something for Eddie there, but lava lamps and mugs didn’t seem meaningful enough.

Deciding you’d figure it out later, you began making your way back to the meeting point. A display, from out of the corner of your eye, stopped you in your tracks. 

You stared at it, eyes slightly glazed over. It felt insane that you were even considering it.

It felt even more insane when your feet developed a mind of your own, carrying you into the store, and back out with a small bag—which you promptly shoved in your purse. 

“Do my eyes deceive me? You guys are here early?” You teased, approaching Max and El at the table from earlier. They were each carrying a few bags.

“We work fast,” El smiled, scanning you. “Did you get something for Eddie?”

“No, but I will, don’t worry.” You lied, knowing if you didn’t, they’d pester you until you showed them. “Ready to head out?”

The three of you made your way back to the car. After dropping El off at Hop’s, you headed back to Forest Hills with Max. She rested her feet on the dash. 

The ride was quiet—probably due to the fact that your mind was anything but. The gift you’d picked up for Eddie was… ballsy, to say the least. You blamed your friends for these bouts of fleeting confidence, which ultimately ended in wanting to bang your head against a wall. 

You parked at your place. Max hopped out, bags in tow, and made off toward her trailer.

“Thanks again,” She shouted, then gave a little nod towards your front door. “Looks like you got another delivery.”

Your head whipped toward the doorstep, approaching it with an embarrassing amount of haste. There was another delivery. 

A copy of Flashdance. Your knees wavered.

Now you were certain it was Eddie; the first time you’d watched it together, you made him swear he wouldn’t tell anyone how much you loved it. Cheesy, romantic, dance films didn’t exactly fit your tough-girl image. 

As giddy and lightheaded as you felt right now, maybe they were starting to. 

Of course, there was a note attached. You grabbed it, eyes widening when it didn’t just say your name.

Will I be seeing you on the 14th?

No name, no signature. What a little shithead, you thought, cheeks sore from smiling so hard. You pressed both the tape and note into your chest, exhaling a shaky breath.

It was real now. Whatever part of you that still doubted Eddie’s feelings had vanished—and it left behind a mess of excitement, nerves, and anticipation.

You glanced down at your purse, having almost forgotten about what you bought. Your stomach flipped in anxiety.

One more gift.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

February 13th, 1986

Eddie missed you. Like, missed the hell out of you—which was embarrassing, considering it had been less than a week since you last hung out.

Despite being adamant he couldn’t give out anymore free rentals, Steve had scored him the copy of Flashdance. He was really just proud that Eddie hadn’t completely chickened out yet.  Quite frankly, so was Eddie.

Though, that note he’d left at your door got him pretty close to it.

What if you said no? Even worse, what if you said yes, somehow under the impression that this was some lighthearted, best friend thing? Eddie didn’t think you were that oblivious, but the worst case scenario was kind of his forté.

Dustin thumped him on the back of the head. “Stop thinking about it.”

“But I’m—”

“No, nope, zip.” The smaller boy closed his fingers in front of Eddie’s face. “You can think about it tomorrow, when she professes her undying love for you.”

Eddie glared at him. The audacity was outrageous. “What do you suggest I do, then?”

Dustin glanced around the trailer. He didn’t think he’d get this far.

“Um,” He scratched the back of his neck. “We can talk about Hellfire?”

Eddie groaned, leaning back into the couch. “Henderson, I love you, I really do—but for the first time in my life, I have more pressing things to think about than Dungeons and Dragons.”

Dustin didn’t take it personally. In fact, he understood. He’d been sent here by Steve to keep Eddie’s mind off of it, which was proving useless, so he caved.

“Alright, fine.” He sighed, taking a seat beside the long-haired boy. A loaded silence ensued.

Eventually, he looked at Eddie in earnest, the corners of his lips turning up. “You think she’s the one?”

Eddie studied him for a moment. He noted the sincerity in his expression. “Yeah.” He breathed, nodding softly. “I mean, shit, yeah, I really do.”

“I think she is too, man.” Dustin grinned, in the comforting way that was uniquely his. “I mean, your one, not my one.”

Eddie chuckled at that. He might’ve been the luckiest guy in Hawkins to have such great friends—even if some of them were fifteen years old. If he had you, too, he’d be some sort of walking miracle. 

“Let’s just hope—”

Knock, knock, knock. Eddie’s sentence stopped in its tracks. The two of them locked wide eyes, and Dustin broke out beaming like a schoolboy.

“Holy shit,” He giggled, watching as Eddie approached the front door slowly. “She has, like, superhuman instincts or something.”

“Shush.”

Eddie’s hand gripped the handle, overcome by a wave of anticipation. Just beyond the worn wood, he’d find the answer to his question—a question which meant so much more than its face value.

Will I be seeing you on the 14th? Am I crazy for thinking I might? Do you want me how I’ve always wanted you?

He pulled the door open, eyes already trained to the ground. There laid a small piece of paper, liable to be blown away at any moment—he picked it up, hand shaking, heartbeat in his ears.

My place, tomorrow, 8pm. Last gift is here.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

February 14th, 1986

It was 7:45pm. You sat on your couch, leg bouncing, the faint sound of crickets penetrating your walls.

It was silly, really, to be so nervous—it was Eddie. You knew Eddie like the back of your hand.

His favorite songs, the way he’d fidget with his rings when he was nervous, the little noises he made in his sleep. You could almost smell his signature cologne, musky and warm, like a campfire at midnight. 

There were things you didn’t know.

You didn’t know the way his lips felt against yours. You’d long wondered whether he was a gentle or fiery lover; as much as you knew him, you still couldn’t tell.

Eddie, who’d once tended to a wound on your knee with delicate hands, wincing in sympathy whenever you did. Eddie, who was a passionate performer, owning every square inch of the stage with confidence. 

A knock at the door took the wind out of you. 

You stood up abruptly, smoothing out nonexistent wrinkles in your sweater, your skirt. You cursed yourself for not putting on some music, now acutely aware of the silence.

It was too late now. Fuck.

It was so much easier when it was flowers, movies, or flirty little notes on the other side of the door. You wondered if Eddie felt the same—terrified to knock and stay put, not scurry off and hide.

You clutched the doorknob, opening it slowly. Your eyes found each others’ in an instant.

He had on his leather jacket, typically reserved for shows, and a Judas Priest t-shirt. Like always, his knees showed through the holes in his jeans—a chain clipped to the belt loops. 

He was perfect. And even so, he looked nervous.

“Hey.” You said softly, like a deer in headlights.

He twisted one of his rings, eyes glued to yours. “Hi.”

It was so strange, you thought, how effortless it was before; a few innocent gifts had so drastically changed the air around you both. Some scrawled out notes brought a sea of unspoken feelings to the surface.

Instinctively, your arms reached out, pulling him into your home with a lingering hug. Despite being the root of your current anxiety, you craved his comfort.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.” He breathed, like feeling you in his arms was a relief. Your face was buried in his shirt, taking in the scent. Like a campfire at midnight. 

After a long moment, you leaned back to look at him, his hand cradling the back of your head. You could feel his breath ghosting against your lips, chests rising and falling together.

“Can I kiss you?” Eddie whispered, heartbeat drumming against you. 

Your limbs were numb. “Please.”

So, he did.

Every insecurity you had became ridiculously insignificant. The lack of music, the wrinkles in your clothes, the smudge in your eyeliner—they were like specks of dust on the Mona Lisa, because Eddie was fucking kissing you, and it felt like clicking the last piece into a ten-thousand piece puzzle.

He held you as if you were made of glass, gentle enough to bring tears to your eyes.

You finally parted, breathless, foreheads resting together. “Eds,” You murmured, hands beginning to wander, skimming over his shoulders, his chest. “I… I want to…”

“Me too.” He replied with a shaky breath, not needing you to finish the thought. “Promise me you’re sure. I’ll… shit, I’ll never forgive myself if I fuck this up.”

You won’t. You can’t. You never could.

“I’m sure.” You croaked, hands finally finding themselves in his curls. “I’ve been sure, Eds, for a year, since the moment I met y—”

He pressed his lips to yours, a different sort of passion within it. It was feverish, needy, tongues and teeth bumping into each other messily; his hands traveled down to your thighs, lifting you, and you wrapped your legs around him.

You hardly felt yourself move before you were being laid down on the soft surface of your bed. Your fingers stripped him of his jacket, tossing it off to the side, then moved to the hem of his shirt, embarrassingly eager to feel his skin against yours. 

Eddie held himself up with a forearm beside your head, his other hand clutching at the sweater over your waist, finally finding the courage to lift it off of you. Underneath it, intricate black lace—a sheer one-piece that left nothing to the imagination. 

He stopped kissing you. Not on purpose, but out of pure astonishment, eyes trailing your torso. 

“Is this…”

“Your last gift?” Your chest was heaving now, Eddie’s eyes warming your skin, but you managed a shy smile. “Yeah, it is.”

He sat up, bringing both large hands to delicately span your ribcage. Jesus Christ, the way he was looking at you was the best kind of absurd—like you were expensive, unattainable.

You felt the cold metal of his rings through the thin fabric, and it made you keen inadvertently. His eyes immediately flicked up to your face.

“You’re gonna kill me.” He shook his head lightly, utterly awestruck. “Like, really, I might not make it out of here alive.”

You giggled, and the smile rubbed off on him. “I might not either,” You reached out, hands slipping beneath his shirt, traversing the bare skin underneath. He shivered at the feeling. “So, let’s die happy.”

That must’ve ignited something in him, because he squeezed his eyes shut at the sound of it, wasting no time in pulling his shirt over his head. You hardly had time to appreciate the sight before he was on you again.

He nipped at your jaw, your hands making quick work of the button on his jeans; at the same time, his fingers tucked themselves in the edge of your skirt, gliding it off of you.

You tangled your fingers in his curls, as if it was the only thing keeping you from floating away. Only a few thin layers were left separating you.

“So perfect,” Eddie’s hands came to your shoulders, oh-so softly hooking the straps of the lingerie, sliding them down your arms. His breath warmed your neck. “This is beautiful, but you…” 

Your mouth opened and closed again, too overwhelmed by the praise to speak. You felt him drag the fabric down, an agonizing pace, until you were entirely exposed.

“You are everything to me.” He whispered, and there was a vulnerability behind it that made your heart swell.

Your fingers slipped beneath the waistband of his boxers, and he gently clutched your wrist, stopping you. You made a small noise of protest. 

“Wait,” He murmured, pressing his lips to your neck, then your collarbone. His ringed fingers came up to cup one of your breasts, and your breath hitched when he kissed there, too. 

He continued downward, lips trailing your navel, pausing just above where you wanted him most. His dark eyes met yours, and Christ, he looked like an angel.

“Wanna take care of you.” He gripped your hips—not forcefully, but hard enough. “Can I?”

“Please.” You didn’t even know how he meant it. You didn’t care.

His hands found their way to the backs of your thighs, giving them a gentle push, putting your center on full display for him.

It had been so long since anyone had seen you like this, and now it was Eddie; as many times as you’d imagined this scenario, you never considered it could be a reality. You felt suddenly insecure.

His face couldn’t have told a more different story.

It was as if you’d bestowed God’s greatest gift upon him with your permission—you almost couldn’t be insecure. He was doe-eyed, slack jawed, a few stray curls hanging down in his face. Clearly the least of his concerns.

As you reached to brush them away, he leaned forward, softly swiping his tongue between your folds. It caught you off guard, back arching slightly. “Shit, Eds, yes.”

Your response was all he needed to continue, attaching his mouth to you again. You half expected it to be sloppy, fast, and eager; instead, he was methodical. His tongue circled your bud slowly, dipping down to your entrance every so often, wanting to taste everything you had to offer.

He was savoring every moment. And, fuck, you thought your soul might leave your body.

“G-God, shit,” You whined, no longer in control of what left your mouth. His hair was threaded in your knuckles, which you hadn’t even noticed until a particular swirl over your clit made you tug roughly on the strands—Eddie groaned against you, movements nearly faltering.

The vibrations were almost too much, let alone the fact that he liked his hair being pulled. You felt a finger tease your entrance, eliciting a gasp among your many moans, and it didn’t take long for him to sink it into you.

“Eddie,” It came out like a weak warning. The coldness of the ring on his knuckle met your most sensitive area, and you were gone. “Oh, fuck, Eddie, m’gonna—”

He curled it inside you and whimpered, sending your body alight.

You came as if you never had before. The combination of his mouth, his finger, the sounds he was making, his goddamn ring—it was euphoric, unlike anything you’d ever experienced, rendering you a babbling mess. 

He slowed down as you did, reading your body as if it were his favorite book. You thought he must’ve somehow read it a dozen times already. 

Appearing at your level again, Eddie caught his breath alongside you, his voice as soft as silk. “Was that… good?”

And for fuck’s sake, he was asking in earnest, like he really didn’t know whether he’d done well.

You huffed out an incredulous laugh, and it brought a smile to his face. Your hands came up to cradle his cheeks. “The best I’ve ever had, Eds.”

That did something to him—his eyelids fluttered shut, brow furrowing. It turned him on to hear he’d satisfied you. Which, in turn, made the ache between your legs apparent again. 

When you began to tug on the waistband of his boxers for a second time, he made no effort to stop you.

“Need you inside me,” It was more of a beg than a demand, barely audible, against his lips. 

Finally, every piece of clothing had been discarded. Feeling him rest against your core, heavy and throbbing, made you tremble. He was already on the brink of losing his composure. 

“I’ve got you, sweetheart.” He brushed the hair from your eyes, pressing a sweet kiss to the corner of your mouth. “Always. Gonna go slow, okay?”

Your heart turned inside your chest. Eddie knew it had been a while since you’d done this. You knew it has been awhile since he’d done this, too—and yet he pushed the nervousness aside, determined to be a rock for your comfort. 

You nodded, nosing against his cheek, feeling safer than you ever had before.

He lined himself up with you, pushing forward gently, tip breaching your wetness. It made your jaw fall open; the stretch was good, not painful, but you still needed the time to adjust.

He reacted similarly, his mouth open slightly, the muscles in his abdomen tensing. At the same time, his eyes scanned your face for any sign of discomfort.

When he was fully seated within you, you were already panting into each other's mouths. It felt like you were complete, not only physically, but emotionally—and you knew he felt it, too, though it remained unspoken. 

“Okay?” He whispered, dark orbs boring into your own.

Your body was covered in goosebumps. “Yes.”

He started to move, languidly pulling his hips back, pressing them into your own. You were desperate for each other, to feel each other; your passion didn’t choose to manifest in a rough, frenzied manner. Both of you needed to relish in every movement, every touch, every sound. 

It was overwhelmingly intimate.

His left hand found your own, lacing your fingers together, pressing it into the mattress beside your head. The other cupped your face, thumb resting on your bottom lip. 

You breathed out each other’s names, eyes locked. He was reaching the depths of you, brushing your sweet spot with every slow thrust, and it made a knot begin to form in your stomach. 

Your free hand found his hair, gripping it again, and he shuddered out a beautiful noise. “Baby,” He keened, and his hand left your face to hold your hip, pulling out farther, rolling in deeper.

“Me too.” You croaked. It was like you shared one mind, one body, no longer needing to say what it was you felt. You just knew. 

The air thickened around you, breaths becoming shorter, grips becoming tighter. A sheen of sweat covered both of your skin, fast approaching your climaxes.

“Eddie, I—” You were swept away, mind trying to force the words out, pleasure making it difficult. “I… I—”

“Tell me, baby.” He rasped, full of longing, like he hoped he already knew.

“—I love you,” It came out like a soft sob, every muscle in your body contracting.

He lost himself at that. A symphony of noises filled the small room, and you clung to him with everything you had, mind buzzing, body writhing instinctually. It was a feeling that deserved to be bottled, placed in a museum—complete and utter fulfillment, in every possible way. 

You weren’t sure how long the two of you laid there, heartbeats drumming against each other, trying to come back to earth. It could’ve been a minute, an hour.

Eventually, and probably for the best, your minds wandered back to you. Eddie gently backed away, just enough to pull out of you, and quickly enveloped you in his arms again. 

His chin rested on your shoulder, chest pressed to your back, both of you blissed out and fuzzy.

“By the way,” He spoke softly, arms tightening around your waist. “I love you, too. I should’ve said it earlier, but I was a little busy losing my absolute shit.”

You broke out into a laugh, the contradiction between his words and the current situation tickling you. He grinned widely into the skin of your neck. 

“Who wrote that note?” You turned towards him, mind running over the events of the last few days. “The first one, with my name. I didn’t believe Rob and Nance when they said it was you—the handwriting was too nice.”

His hand came up, stroking your hair lovingly. “Steve has girly handwriting. Usually I make fun of him for it, but it got me here, so maybe I’ll stop.”

You giggled at that, and jeez, you were sure the two of you looked like idiots in love right now—faces inches apart, delicate touches wherever you could reach, absolutely beaming. 

“For the record, I didn’t believe them either.” Eddie’s eyes explored your face. “Harrington, Henderson. I thought they were batshit, saying you were in love with me.”

You inched even closer to him. “Maybe we should start listening to our friends.”

“Let’s not be rash.” He joked, and you playfully pushed his chest. “But, yeah. They were right this time.”

There were a few moments of silence, the two of you taking each other in, biting back smiles. 

“I love you.” You said quickly, giddily. 

Eddie’s finger brushed your nose. “I love more.”

“See, that would be the case,” You began, faux seriousness painting your expression. “If I didn’t love you most.” 

He wagged a finger in your face, leaning in to pepper you with kisses, and continue waging a war that would never end. 

At the end of the day, three things were certain.

Firstly, you loved Eddie.

Secondly, Eddie loved you.

Thirdly, your friends were definitely going to regret encouraging you to tell each other those two things.