#guys i know it sucks IM SORRYYYY

[mawu-yama]

happy birthday to la creatura 😽😽

[starlooove]

Bruce yelling at clark about being mean to kon << they justify eachother’s crap parenting like their life depends on it

Real

[codecicle]

for some reason, my school only has a teacher for Intro to French and French 1 + 2. any level of fluency higher than that is an online course you take sitting in the back of the classroom while the instructor teaches the students in lower levels. sad! :( oh well! i can watch baghera and etoiles vods while learning i suppose!

i have to start practicing my french again. im going back to classes

[toxic3mmy]

I’m having a bad case of baby fever since I’m ovulating hard and I need fic of quackity with gf who’s ovulating like crazy and who’s begging for a baby

ooo baby fever!!! the only person in the world that i would ever want a baby w is alex😞😞 but yes, i got u my lovely <33 thx for the request

[also it cane out a bit diff than what u asked for im sorryyyy!! dont hate me bbg💔💔]

prompt: alex dealing with a baby fever filled gf

no smut but mentions of it ofc!!

everywhere you look, there’s babies. on tv commercials, at your job, even at the grocery store there’s always a baby who won’t stop smiling and cooing your way.

and who would make a cute baby? alex, your boyfriend, that’s who!

he has sparkling honey brown eyes with dark lashes framing them perfectly. his fair skin that has freckles and beautiful face moles. and his hair! he has a full head of hair that would look absolutely perfect on a sweet little baby.

lately, on your free time, you were indulging in this want and need and desire for a baby of your own. you were sneakily watching mommy and baby vlogs. you loved seeing their belly grow and their journey through their pregnancy. you even subscribed yourself to a baby magazine and it was what you looked forward to every time you checked your mail.

but you hid all of this from alex. you knew he probably wouldn’t understand. just how most men don’t understand why women obsessed over weddings and wedding planning. it also didn’t help that you were definitely ovulating.

and right now, you were sat listening to your boyfriend going on about his day. well, not really listening. more like admiring him and imagining him as a father and wow did that turn you on.

“what about you? how was your day?” alex asked suddenly

“oh, you know, i mostly just did my online coursework and cleaned the house a bit. i’ve been bored since you went out..” you said, trying to be inconspicuous

“trust me, i missed you too. now let’s eat. the food you made smells amazing” alex said, getting up to serve himself a plate

he served two plates of food, one for you and one for him. the two of you ate in mostly silence, with casual conversation here and there. once you finished eating, alex offered to wash the dishes since you did the cooking.

you sneakily pulled out your phone and scrolled through your pinterest. of course, you had baby related posts all over your feed and you loved it.

“babe.. this sponge sucks. where are the new ones we got the other day?” your boyfriend asked

“should be in the drawer next to the stove” you absentmindedly responded, eyes glued to your phone

alex opened the drawer and found your stash of baby magazines. he wasn’t blind, he knew what you had been obsessing over lately. this was the perfect time to bring it up. so he grabbed a sponge and washed the dishes. after drying his hands, he turned to face you.

“so… you’ve only been studying all day huh?” alex smirked, holding up one of your prized magazines

your eyes widened. you were at a loss for words.

“i-i uh… my sister is pregnant and um she sent me those to help her pick stuff out and—”

“hmm, addressed to our home to ms. y/n” alex interrupted

“do you think i don’t know by now? i see the way you’ve been looking at anything baby related online. i know you always volunteer to do the grocery shopping just for the chance of running into some mother with a baby… my question here is, why hide it?”

“i didn’t think you’d understand… i know how guys get when their girlfriends start talking about babies and i don’t know. i didn’t want to upset you. i didn’t want to make things weird between us..” you explained softly, expecting alex to get upset

he walked closer to where you were sitting and tucked your hair behind your ear gently.

“i could never be upset with you princesa. you don’t have to hide things like this from me. you know i love kids just as much as you do” he reassured you

you nodded sadly, still feeling a sense of guilt.

“why don’t we start trying?”

your eyes lit up and a huge grin was etched onto your face.

“you really mean it?” you asked and alex nodded with a smile on his face

“i would just adore having a little munchkin running around here. i think you’d be a spectacular mother y/n. i can just imagine them having your big ‘ol eyes and your pretty lips” he caressed your face sweetly

“and your gorgeous freckles… oh my god alex! we would have the most adorable baby in the whole wide world! do you actually want to start trying?”

“yes i do, princesa. we’re in a good place financially and also in a healthy place in our relationship. i wouldn’t want to have a baby with anyone else but you” he smiled

“you’re going to be such an amazing dad. you don’t know how much i’ve daydreamed about you holding our baby in your strong sexy arms. the way you would be super protective over them. i just know you’d have our baby on your chest at all times. you’re so innocent and precious and so so good with kids alex. you are definitely daddy material” you stood from your seat and reached out to hold his hand

“also.. i may or may not pay attention to your ovulation period…” he said seductively

“what?! why? you’re a weirdo!” you teased him

“no! i mean i pay attention to when you write those notes on our calendar! you freak” alex was red in the face and you couldn’t help but laugh at his flustered expression

while you were too busy laughing, he suddenly stood up and pushed you against the wall nearby, trapping you there.

“you’re probably really sensitive right now, aren’t you?” his voice came out in a darker tone

“m-maybe…”

“let me make love to you, princesa. quiero impregnarte ahora mismo. quiero que me sientes y que sientes que te hago la mama de mis hijos chula…” he said, making sure to kiss your neck while he spoke

all you could do was nod. his words alone made you so wet and needy for him already.

“i’ll make sure that after tonight, you’ll definitely become a mother” he smirked, dragging you to your shared bedroom

[crushedsweets]

ANSWERING ASKS PT 4?

ok this is like 30+ asks LOL its mostly stuff about me/my art with a little crp sprinkled in im sorry... ill make a post thats actually answering the crp asks with real answers that arent "ILL DO IT EVENTUALLY I SWEAR" lololol

YOURE BOTH SO SWEET i havent been this passionate about smth in so long so hopefully im here for a while... thank u guys for indulging me. it makes me happy to post LOL

with love pls dont call me that buuuut. ninakate. ticciwork. ninatoby. ticcijack. ninajack. notice how its all in the same group...

hiii i dont plan to anytime soon! IF I WERE TO, cody and rouge are probably 'next in line' to being put in my AU, but i have no plans to actually commit to that

omg ok its funny cuz rn i HAVE ONE but its just me in it cuz im too lazy to organize all the bots and verification and whatnot. im also nervous about making a server cuz of some online occurrences that happened after u sent this HAHA so i'm kinda putting it off... but i reblogged tombs server and im sometimes active in there if u wanna join that one!

ffrhrughagahhhh

no ur right theyre such a power couple. i know we joke about toby being useless bf and clocky being badass gf but they're both really cool together.

I FORGOT I MADE THE TWILIGHT COMMENT LMFAAAOOOOOO I NEED i need. i need toby to find a random twilight shirt at a thrift and snag it for kate.

ME TOOOO its so delightful. i have so much fun playing with them like barbies.. making them kiss n whatever. LMFAOOOO so silly but yk

JEFF STANS ARE SO FUNNYYYYYYYYY i like you guys. laughing jack stans scare me but thats cuz that damn clown scares me... nothing that yall have done. youre just braver than me. LOL

i will not do this...

no literally its really bad. i hold horrible grudges BAHAHA but im working on it. im getting over my purple beef

omg. i listened to it and that was really cool. i like that thank u sm for sharing

IDK WHAT POST UR REFERING TO BUT YOURE RIGHT. LMAOOOOO

IM SORRYYYY im so sorry. i feel like this fandom is so small and most of the fans dont really ship in general so it suuuucks shipping here.. but i love them..

oh my god i need to i keep forgetting. the nina art i jus tposted of her holding th eknife was kinda.. kinda referencing her behaviors..

i do too!!! ive been neglecting them so bad im so sorry..

like the IEPFB tea party scene

I NEVER DID IT ANON IM SO SORRY IM GOING TO HELL

is this a song

i have not! i havent read alot of stories actually... i kinda like doing my own thing with them HAHA

omfg i had a clocknina drawing but i ended up privating but i think i should unprivate it...

ok actually im sorry i just am bad at requests omfg LMFAOO IM SORRY im so focused on nina ... forgive me...

THANK YOUUUU youre very sweet i appreciate you!!! <3

YEAH he's...one of the more tragic people. 100%. all loss

WHAT IS LIUJONJACK LOL WHOS JON??? ALSO LIUOTPS IS FUNNY

wdym ? !

LMFAOOOOO HEY ITS NOT A BAD COMBO THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING A NINAKATE SHIPPER........

THANK YOU CUPCAKE i really like nina.. or my version i gues si dunno.. i like everyone else's nina too. i like this nina we got going on together

ok i keep grouping these together but also making them seperate im so bad at organizing these asks but HAHA I LOVE THEM TOO i swear ill try to get some ticciwork stuff out soon!!! my spring semester is almost over so hopefullyyy..

this is how you know i suck ass cuz this was christmas time and im replying NOW. im so sorry. i initially planned to draw them hanging around a tree but i didnt get around to it then got embarassed and never replied.... but i agree it would have been cute. ha di notfailed. LOL

[youknowhowido]

can i ask about your adamjohn wips 👉👈

HI YES my three main ones are below ^-^

first one is picture perfect point-of-view in which adam is a country music star who is an overnight sensation and john is a somewhat burnt out photojournalist who just happens to become his tour photographer (and then his full time photographer.) lots of miscommunication, lots of comfort, it’s my main wip and i’m averaging abt 5k words per chapter at the moment ! shaun and mark also play roles along with implied hayley williams and implied chris carrabba because my brain works in silly ways ^—^

major tags: au-photography, idiots in love, miscommunication, The Horrors Of Stan Twitter (tm)

second one has no name yet (the google doc is just titled DIVORCEES), but it’s a kidfic in which adam and john were married, adopted their daughter portia (god i love her so much btw. creating her character and watching her develop in my head has been so fucking AWESOME shes my fav character ive ever written i think) who was 4 years old at the time and then got divorced six years later because adam Sucks at processing emotions and john was set on trying to “fix him”. adam “fixes” himself (goes to therapy and decides to prioritize his child) and then story starts two years after divorce when a twelve-year-old portia gets both of her dads to chaperone a multiple-night school trip without the other knowing. based on new american classic!

this ones gonna be LONGGGGG like prob 10-15k? im getting bare bones down rn, i’ve been working on this one the most this weekend when i havent been HELLA busy

major tags: au-divorce, kidfic, one bed, getting back together, hurt/comfort, background mark/shaun

third ALSO has no name and its very rough but its just adam and john situationship. adam will never stop loving john no matter how many times he snuffs him or uses him or makes his love conditional because he blames himself every time john is awful to him. basically adam gets so hurt in this one IM SORRYYYY. johns also kind of an asshole? only a little. he just dgaf. this one is very bpdcore on adams part sorry im projecting. this one is mostly based on all the songs i listened to when i went through the same thing, which i will put here so you can get an idea.

forget her — jeff buckley

andria — la dispute

waiting room — phoebe bridgers

unloveable - the smiths

silver springs live at warner brothers studios — fleetwood mac

high and dry — radiohead

just a lover — hayley williams

sour breath — julien baker

and then, obviously,

the ballad of sal villanueva and cute without the e - taking back sunday

THIS THIRD ONE IS VERY NEW AND SUBJECT TO CHANGE its mostly just me projecting onto adam sorry buddy! i hope my brain lets him have a happy ending

major tags: ambiguous relationships, hurt no comfort, drug abuse

SO ANYWAYS yes hope u enjoy i like talking about these guys im currently rotating them inside my head.

[gayspock]

OK SOMEEEE gripes

im ACTUALLY extremely conflicted on some of the present day stuff and i think its mostly down to the characters

like im very happy with jeff, and i think he's fine as is - brilliant, even, bc hes a genuinely refreshing take imo as opposed to what they could have easily done (i.e unlikable, distant from it all husband). not that he would be CRAZY or unreasonable to resent shauna, but like... its just fucking so much funnier + more interesting to me to see a character kind of just go with it, rather than to have them stew in angst. like i think its more interesting and allows for them to explore different beats than what you'd assume they would if you'd just known the basics of what shauna was up to. imo

similarly i was happy with adam as a character, too, and i think they developed him well enough for who he was and how he functions in this story. im glad he didnt turn out to be javi (if he was, i guess, bc he still could be technically that kinda suck wway more now tbh booo) and whilst there was nooo way he was gonna survive if he was just some guy which he was

theres also guys like kevyn. my jokes aside abt how scary he is im kinda fine with him, and i do actually makes some kinda sense that hes a cop + that he's now so straight-laced. some loser divorced dad. and it'd be a good comparison to natalie, and the lifestyle she lives now and how their paths diverged. however i kind of wish they'd... just let him go? like i wish he'd been at the reunion, and they'dhad that exchanged and then he'd just walked away to his wife and kids and her back to the yellowjackets no return no return no return huh what was that YEHA. my point is. i feel like there's no true resolution between them two thats organic and it just kinda feels weird to keep him around past that. i know they need a cop character for whats happening with shauna now but it just feels kinda ... bizarre to have him playing that role with that creep dude. bc whilst i do prefer limited characters in a show like this and to keep it tight and clean it just feels weird for it to be him and for it to be THAT insular AND, again, for him to keep sticking around when i dont feel like theres anywhere for him to go.... like its kinda DIFFERENT with the other cop dude, bc he isnt pre-established and he does kinda just function moreso as just. a fucking yuckhead fuckhead but instead its just this weird uhhhh. and kevyn is back! um. he will continue serving this purpose and we will never touch on him and natalie again. bc we shouldnt ofc but it also feels weird to have him there without ever mentioning it LOL

who else. fuck. like i am also very conflicted abt tai's wife and son like.... they do just feel a bit like- theyre just there? and i think that DEFINITELY makes some sort of narrative sense with tai, and with her whole deal- she has it all, she has everything but she has nothinnggg but... IDK KINDA SAD MAN. bc its weird i'll go back to this with jeff and callie, but it does make SENSE that the non-yellowjackets characters are always gonna be secondary with the story theyre telling in more ways than them just being secondary characters but with how fucking impossible it is to reconnect with fucking ANYONE after everything they did/went through BUT ITS LIKE... like i said i kinda like jeff and ironically his absolute lack of personality became a personality, whereas with simone&sammy i feel like theyre just kinda... SUPER functioning and that does kinda make me worry because whilst i know a lot of ppl are yelling for tai/van endgame... i dont know it feels weird to write them off fuckin completely which is what i feel like the show might kinda lean into at some point...😭like i want more for them, and from them. and i also sorry i also hate fucking "scary child who sees the supernatural" trope SORRYYYY its so tired to me and so lazy . give this kid some proper fucking development

and i think its also another issue im having with the present day stuff. theres too many characters rn and its being misspent. like do not get me wrong im not against quirky elijah wood BUT i feel like misty's ENTIRE. FUCKING. ARC. RIGHT. NOW. would be so much more fucking effective if she was alone and tracking down natalie by herself and kinda struggling with that. OR if they kept up her rapport with jessica- like have her tag along, whether it'd be under the guise of a fixer or not, and maybe have her cause some tension bc again if eel like.. ITS SO MUCH WEIRDER just having jessica's entire stint just come to an end in the way it did and it would have been a much more solid throughline into s2 than to bring in elijah wood whos just genderbent misty and its like . ok its just nott.... INTERESTING TO ME... SO WHAT. SHES FOUND A GUY LIKE HER? WHO CARES MAN. IM SAYING THIS AS A LITTLE FREAK WHO CANT CONNECT WITH OTHERS & YEARNS FOR KINSHIP, LIKE... I JUST FEEL LIKE ITS KINDA BACKWARDS AND REGRESSIVE AND NOTHINGGGG. jessica was a much weirder fucking dynamic and i think could have been interesting and i do think theres ways they could have had them both pursue natalie but now its just... ehhhhhh like

and i also feel like elijah wood is kinda bringing up the comedic parts of misty's story and dont get me wrong i LOVED a lot of the dark humour bits from her in s1 but i feel likw now its kinda getting too close to just. that. kinda like just oh funny joke funny dark humour. and losing a lot of the substance it should have, which is kinda necessary to the humour itself....AND he's sort of stealing her limelight like WHO CARES. GO AWAY DUUDE. have confidence in misty to be able to CARRY this shit, cmon, bc no offence elijah but SHE WAS WAY BETTER AT IT! bc thats whats so GOOD ABOUT THE SHOW OTHERWISE- you have the confidence to let all these girlies to carry their plotlines by themselves, so dont slip!!! GET BACK UP. and again im saying with the too many characters thing- its just... ehrhh. who cares to spend so much time on him??? whos just out of nowhere when its like.. again i'd prefer it if you spent that time with taissa or with .....

CALLIE. SHHES PROBABLY THE PERSON IM THE MOST CONFLICTED ON IN THE WORLD. bc in so many ways again i feel like we cant focus on her too much in shauna's little life that shes made for herself but I JUST... I CANT HELP BUT FEEL LIKE WE'RE IN THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLE SPOT IMAGINABLE WITH CALLIE, wherein we dont get enough of her and her side to really empathise with her but we get too much of her to find her on the wrong side of irritating-AND THAT. SUCKS. THATS THE WORST. EVER. BECAUSE SHES LITERALLY A TEENAGE GIRL. I FEEL LIKE THERES SO MUCH MORE THEY COULD DO WITH THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN SHAUNA/CALLIE IF THEY PUSHED FOR IT MORE, BUT ITS JUST... again its in this such an awkwwaarddd position where they only bring her in to be difficult it feels like. and the thing is? shes being reasonable. MORE than. shes totally justified in all the shit shes doing. but bc of the unfortunate way its framed she comes off as...... sadly.... unlikable which . again AGAIN IT SUCKS. BECAUSE SHES A TEENAGE GIRL AND THIS FEELS LIKE THE FIRST SHOW IN A LONG TIME TO HAVE A CAST FULL OF UNLIKABLE FUCKING TEENAGE GIRLS BE THE BEST EVERRRRRR AND SHE COULD BE SO GOOD MAN SHE COULD BE SUCH A GOOD WAY FOR SHAUNA TO LOOK INTO THE PAST BUTEE..... they kinda just write her off too and bring her up to cause complications obly. thats all it is. and i dont know i do get it i dooo get it bc again it makes SENSE with shauna and who she is and where her life is that the presentation would thereforebe kinda more her perspective but also... i do just feel... ITCHES. LIKE IM CLAWING AT THE WALL

ok last thing maybe idk. idk how i feel about lottie at all. its strange. i felt like she..... was kinda not present enough in s1. does that make sense ever at all. i wish we had more from her and her whole visions thing, and she had as much focus in the past as the others did from the very beginning. bc i feel like in s1... we didnt see enough of her in that regard? like we got her- we got bits of her. but not enough of her-her. bc im fine with her kinda story on paper (ish) and how its playing out but i t does feel weirdly unba;anced across s1 / s2. and its throwing me a bit there

[shytiff]

Small Nov Wins

1 - cant bring myself to study, got out of bed 10:30-ish am. While lazing around i read royal servant and do random internet stuff and watched romee's vlogs. Ate breakfast and i somehow has no appetite?? This is rare. e, cicil kompre began at 15:30 pm (i know, i waste my time a lot). Pengumuman wahana mpi wow yay kalideres makara and budi asih

2 - the weather was pleasantly cloudy. poli anestesi anak, simul. went to what used to be calais, its called flavola now. at this point i quite need some calories because i only ate bubur ayam and its like 2-3 pm ish. Eventually the hunger is gone, arrived home at about 4-ish, drank protein to curb my hunger (nanggung dinner). dad said sumn that annoyed me so after maghrib i just lazed in bed, not feeling like doing anything (even though there’s lots of exams and hw lmao), fell asleep

3 - woke up at 2 am, prated, randomly searched for angel - chancellor and taeyeon’s lyrics and i basically wept at 4 am. i assumed the song was just like,,, a guy talking to a girl, his angel, you know. EXCEPT,,,,,,,,. the 2 MVs was also rly222 beautiful 🥺. Poli geriatri today, didnt even see patient because there was no more at that time (status salin nadia). ate ichiban salad (surprisingly quite good) at dm bcs i rly do be functioning better outdoors, made matcha latte with full cream milk ((powder)), cicil PT

4 - can finally wake up late. finished 1 sitasi pt, made ikk ppt, bujing lina called about diarrhea and nausea meds, laddered the leader for tomorrow’s exam and it,, was,,, me,, group call with shiko. frantically studied for EA

5 - PT (finished in 45 mins), simul as a leader, with STEMI, VF and hypoglycemia case. somehow made it through. i suck at dosages omggg. PP by car with mom (not rly that tired) but i SLEPT after i got home and had no mood to study helpppp

6 - did my first swab test today. i pushed the doctors hand when she’s doing oropharyngeal swab im sorryyyy 😂. slept. matcha. cicil kompre

7 - still havent finished ikk (deadline: today), and still havent studied for geri and ikk AND i still managed to take a nap. why. Read a bit of kompre. Not sleepy after matcha, but insted i reread bj alex and tsubaki chou lonely planet until 2 am the next day #rippriorities

8 - im having matcha latte seven days in a row as of today :))))) woke up at 10:30 am, went to flavola with atikah and got strawberry yakult (tasted like es mony), arrived home at abt 7-ish am and there no dinner, so i drank protein and ate japota honey butter. My breakfast was chicken porridge, so my diet is sooo liquid today. Rip proper nutrition (ate buryam, lumpia, japota for the whole day and drank 3 beverage). Cicil kompre and studied geri

9 - suma geri, slept, cicil kompre, ny head kind of hurts

10 - my head still hurts, suma ikk with dr herqu and dr retno, didnt take swab result by car because the TRAFFIC in soetta so my brother took it. Thankfully negative.

11 - lulus kompre alhamdulillah, the examiner were Prof Saptawati and dr. Dani from THT. Dr dani still remembered me :"") they were very kind. Went to tamel for first wahana: klinik makara UI. Picked up masker first at mahmudas place, and then went to depok. On the way i was interviewed by maba 2020 wtf im so old. Cleaned up my room with the fam, printed sumn in barel (its quite empty there)

12 - first day at klinik makara ui. i WALKED. such wow. fixed my shoes in kutek. had breakfast in barel and bahari for lunch-dinner. somehow i felt very drained. bought Dapur Alya (nutella and regal) and 2 salads from Salad Point since there was 11.11 promo. Put all of them in the fridge. Read Fools and its sooo good omg

13 - had salad and left over bahari rice for brekkie. went to clinic by grabbike :)))), had my first teleconsultation experience today, a chemical trauma case. suma ea with the help of shiko

14 - woke up at 5:20 ish and i jogged a bit at ui lmaoo. fisip - ft - fisip. By 6:30 im already back at my room. 1 hour can be spent a lot of different ways, it turns out. Washed my clothes. Ate monstercheese pizza. Slept a bit. Went to blok m with ara (she was late as always, surprised her with koi milk tea), ate futago ya (greasy cheesy milky goodness, enak tapi eneg afterwards), bought red bean bread at la mouette, bought discounted onigiri bento box at papaya. We went to m bloc space, looked around, ate gelato at kebunide (blueberry: yum, fresh, kiiinda feels artificial, salted caramel: delicious but makes me thirsty) and did photobox at connectoon. Walked to mrt asean but turns out!! for weekends mrt is closed at 8pm. Took grabbike to sudirman, seeing the pretty city and people just hanging out, playing skateboards on the wide sidewalks.

15 - planned to go jogging with salemba frens but i woke up late (06:45), so i just lazed around. Ate onigiri bento (super worth it for 25k for the proteins), fell asleep again 10ish to 14:30 lmaoo. The doms from yesterday was present even on the right side of my lower back 🙂 the red bean bread made me feel full, and the red bean was not too sweet, which i love. Reviewed some meshwork materials i missed. Fianti called and we talked abt her and hari

16 - had mujigae for sahur and fish bite for iftar. The fish was not as soft as fish streat, but the flour was definitely better and crunchy. But it doesnt have the seasoning micin like fish streat do. The pasta was quite a lot im in food coma afterwards. Fell asleep, and my stomach was so gassy that i woke up in the middle with a headache that does not play around. Fortunately it dissapeared in the morning

17 - breakfast is rice kimchi and abon lmaoo just pretend it makes sense. The scrubs i ordered finally arrived. I fell asleep AGAIN, WHYYYY. Lost my streak in DL, i guess i can stop using it for now.

18 - finished reading blood link, girlll i thought the human died at the end. Did not buy food today wow. Took a nap and cicil kompre.

19 - brekkie at barel. Helped measuring antropometry today at clinic, and also measured my own. The fucked up thing was that i THOUGHT my body fat is still at 28% compared to the past (dr rina's research). So i looked at the old paper AND. I USED TO HAVE. 35% FAT 🙂 even my memories are in denial and are fooling me. All this time i thought i was at 28 🙂 did swab at rsui. The one swabbing was from fkui 2012 and we had small talk. It hurted more than lmk :( now this does feel like drowning in water (cause before i said "nah its not like water in nose"). Took angkot back to tamel, bought piscok lumer pocin and its soooo gooood ugh

20 - i feel like if i have breakfast with leftover rice and abon and sozzis i get hungry faster lmaoo. Ordered ken karaage from kukusan, yaa okela for 25k with ongkir. Did online posbindu education through wa. BTS BE COMEBACK 🥺 i maximized my wifi time (no wifi at tamel) so i listened to the whole album. My mobile data is at 200MB lol. Read a good longreads from the atlantic, about down synd and genetic screening. The writing is so so good im just blown away. And teary eyed.

21 - ran a bit, solid class (gastro, rheum, infection), embryo, webinar about sleep by dr Gita Anindyajati, SpKJ, bought ayam geprek gold chick (lotsss of oil since i ordered tempe, jamur, egg, bought pop cookies. matcha cheese was actually better than i expected (the combination somehow fits), dark chocolate and marshmallow is very chocolatey like mom’s brownies, and vegan strawberry cookie with a hint of mint. i wonder how they replace the egg. I wonder why after i run i dont feel hungry for a moment. bloating just gooes away

22 - joined kris' healthy weekly event (lmao) in tamsur. They went to epiwalk first. Its difficult for me to run w mask, ngl. Went back to tamel, embryo, ate leftover meal from gold and chick, felt somehow drained to the bone so i just laid in bed and lazed and lazed. Theres no soreness, but the weakness was generalized lmao. Ordered bbq chicken almond salad from salad point, it was actually quite fulfilling and delishhh (added chili sauce to the dressing). Literally laid in bed from 7 until i fell asleep and woke up at 6 the next day. Finished readin shame application lmao

23 - i still feel tired ckckck. No doms, but i feel like i just want to lay down. got DV patient today at clinic, its most likely derm numularis??? Ate salad and dark choco marshmallow cookies in the evening and that cookie. Is so damn sweet im just thinking about the increase in my blood sugar. And i like sweets so!!! Never thought id find sumn too sweet. Washed my clothes and cicil ukmppd (i put things about studying ukmppd in habitica now)

24 - ate tanoshi sushi and ufo ramen for bfast, ate the sushi again for lunch and after waking up from my sleep i tried kokku ramen (so so, but the egg yolk's good)

25 - bfast: superbubur, protein shake and cookies. (did not make me feel full long enough). Ordered burger from EATG (so so, burger bener is better) for lunch. Last day at makara ui. Ara arrived coz shes staying here in tamel. Waiting for mom to arrive from cibubur, she arrived at about 20:30. I passed out at home

26 - first day in pkm kalideres, i volunteered to be pj to avoid RSUD. my room is a mess, i feel tired after i go back. maybe its the physical withdrawal (?) because i dont walk like when im on klinik makara. came to pkm thinking i wont do anything (orientation only) but the 6 of us ended up going. i was at igd. i saw nail extraction and injected ats for another patient 

27 - talked for almost an hour with the doctor at poli lansia. went home, felt sooo tired, i slept and actually showered after maghrib. originally planned to go to sbux but i was just tired af. my mood was horrible at home. 

28 - turns out i started my period today. i havent studied at all during pkm kalideres era. embryo. slept again. read some manga by nishin something with the psychological and BL genre. 

29 - embryo. cut my hair, showered, and felt better. fell asleep on dr gita's lecture. Drank cimory banana milk with a bit of matcha powder. I dont know if its the sleep, or a bit of caffeine, but my mood feels better and im more awake. Cicil ukmppd with a slow pace. Read itasaku ff. Slept at about 2 am

30 - surprisingly, i dont feel sleepy when i wake up. poli anak today, surprisingly i got perinatology case (jaundice). presented it on pleno. for bfast i ate 3 slice of bread (2 with meat and cheese, 1 choco and cheese) and protein shake, lunch: a slice of choco cheese bread and a banana, fell asleep, dinner: 1 bakwan, a banana and nextar. i can feel that the calories i got today is even less than what i usually got (and usually i already try to limit calories that i am counting the intake amout and made sure im not too far from my bmr lmaoo (~1100)

[v3-killing-harmony-imagines]

‘Can you write the guys with an autistic s/o? Bonus if their special interest is the guys talent!’

Can you write the guys with an autistic s/o? Bonus if their special interest is the guys talent!

Of course! Once again I hope this doesn’t seem offensive ;w;

Saihara Shuichi:

He always tries his best to make you feel comfortable when talking to him. He knows firsthand that social interactions aren’t the greatest thing in the world.

He’ll offer to do all the talking in public if you’d like him too, he’s willing to do anything really.

You have to tell him that it’s ok, and that you’ll never get better at it unless you do talk to people. So he hesitantly, lets you.

The boy acts like a father more than a boyfriend half the time, which you tease him for sometimes (“Daddy~”)

While you can do really well in one subject, any other may not interest you. This proves to be a problem in school, Saihara tries his best to help you out whenever you need it.

You told him one day that you really were interested in the detective work he does, and you wanted to learn more about the subject.

You can see his tail practically wagging- like a puppy- so excited to show you how he does things.

Yet he’s also a bit timid to tell you about the more…brutal and violent parts about it…so he does his best to omit that.

He’s still happy that his talent interests you! He’s always happy to help you learn something new!

Amami Rantarou:

The first thing he notices is that you fidget.

Twirling your hands, rocking ever so slightly in your seat, starring.

Others may find it strange, he just found it interesting.

You usually have specific tastes for foods, he’s memorized which ones you like best and which ones you don’t like at all.

He makes sure to always stock up, to make you happy.

He’s a bit of a picky person himself- he likes things a certain way. It’s just more easier that way.

New schedules, whether it’s for school or not, can be a challenge to get used to. For both him and yourself.

It just makes life more complicated and if you haven’t noticed, Amami really just wants a peaceful and calm life.

You told him you were interested in his talent.

He laughed, “Yeah I’m interested in seeing what it is too.”

“No no, that’s not the point, your talent- it’s a mystery.”

“Yeah, and?”

“All that’s left is you. Your person.”

He thought for a second, the pieces not quite coming together.

You put them in place for him, “Even if you aren’t given a talent, there’s still you. That you won’t change their personality or likes of dislikes.” You pause a second. “Basically I’m interested in Amami Rantaro. I’m interested in how he thinks, feels, acts, sees….does that make sense?”

He blinked, face slowly pulling into a smile as he pulled you closer.

“You’re really the cutest at times you know that?” He plants a kiss on your forehead. “S/o, if you’re so intrigued by me then feel free to study me as much as you’d like. If I make you happy that much, I’m a pretty lucky man right?”

You nuzzled closer, “Right.”

Ouma Kokichi:

“Ohhh, you have autism? Wow, that’s interesting.” He says it with such a monotone voice you think he’s actually being honest- he finds it interesting that the person he likes so much is so unique!

He’s constantly asking questions now, whether out of the blue or not.

“Hey hey, do you like cotton or linen pants better?”

“What about fruits? Do you like cherries or not?”

Ouma, it’s not as if they’re some alien from another race. They’re still human.

“*Gasp* what if my dear s/o is actually the real human?? And everyone else are the aliens??” He clung to your leg, “WAAAAAAAAA S/O IM SORRYYYY!!!”

Drama queen.

In a way, you two are similar. You both like a specific taste for food, subjects, and you’re both not grade A students in the social category.

“Hey Ouma, I wanna learn more about your talent.”

He stopped drinking his bottle of soda, fizzy bubbles dribbling down his scarf.

“S/o wants to know about my role as a supreme leader? Aha, I have to warn you, once you know these secrets I have to make sure you’ll never tell anyone else…”

In the end it lead to a 2 hour lecture about Ouma’s overly dramatic retell of his daily life.

“Seee? Now that you know about it, and are utterly and hopelessly in love with me, you’ll never go tell anyone else!” He smiled, arms hanging behind his head. “Nishishi~ isn’t that right?”

You grinned, matching his own persona “That isn’t a lie.”

He blushed so hardly that he actually needed to sit down for a minute.

Aw, what a precious boy.

Kaito Momota:

The fact that you have autism doesn’t make a difference to him at all!

Your little quirks, the passion you held for the topics you loved, the way you had a fire for the things you wanted to do.

He didn’t find it difficult or a burden in the slightest, if anything, he thought that it was the best thing.

He was spending a Friday night lazing on the couch, eating Doritos in his pj’s.

Then you came in the room, sitting down beside him.

“Kaito, can you teach me about space?”

He’s jumps up, grabbing you and dragging you out the door- insisting that you two are going stargazing right now.

He doesn’t even bother to wipe the crumbs from his fingers nor change out of his pajamas.

He sets up a blanket on the ground, patting the space beside him and insisting that you lay down.

Kaito points out all the main stars and constellations that he knows, the air gets cold, and he gives you his jacket to keep warm in (He does some sit-ups when he gets cold.)

Time passes, he goes onto explaining facts about meteors, space, gravity, the orbit, the axis….

He goes on for so long that you end up falling asleep, under the stars.

When he notices, he stops talking mid sentence, just starring at you for a while under the dim light.

He carries you inside, carefully, (He nearly drops you) and sets you down on the bed.

He places a kiss on your temple before pulling the covers over you, returning back to his half-finished Doritos.

Kiibo(K1-b0!!11111!!11):

He’s definitely always looking out for you.

Although he knows how it effects your mind and actions….he can’t help but wondering….what would it be like if he had something similar?

Would his circuits be dysfunctional? Would parts of his code unsuccessfully travel to his motherboard?

It just makes him wonder at times….

A human with a mental disease is helped, and treated with care.

If Kiibo were like that….not normal, not a perfect robot. He would be terminated. What good is a defective Robot?

He found out you had a passion for computer and technology the first day he met you- in a computer lab the two of you had together.

It’s… nice. To be able to talk to someone as important as you about something important to him that it literally is what his life revolves around.

He’ll talk to you about different parts of his system and circuit board, how he ‘feels’ things, or how he views the world.

It’s very therapeutic for him, after getting teased by Ouma or getting down because other’s don’t view him as equal, he can sit down and talk about his system and how he’s as much of a human as everyone else is.

Cough, of course there’s also anatomy lessons cough if you know what I mean.

Korekiyo Shinguji:

He’s met a lot of humans, a lot of humans that are different in many ways more than one.

He believes people should all be treated just the same, based on their personalities rather than mental capabilities.

Due to this he can get very protective, especially if people use slurs about it.

Death glare in their direction.

He’s glad that he can share his love of anthropology with you, especially since he knows that you have a special interest for very few things.

Sometimes you two will have a discussion about theories on why humans act the way they do, or how their minds work.

Other times its more of a vent session, both of you describing how you feel and why…

For you it’s more focused on your frustration, your frustration with your illness and how you can’t do this or you can’t say this or that….

Both of you help each other out, promising to be there for each other, sharing soft kisses in the late hours of the night.

Gonta Gokuhara:

“While it’s difficult for Gonta to understand about Autism at times… Gonta thinks you’re an amazing person, no matter what! Gonta loves you very much!!”

While you treated your condition like nothing, Gonta treated it as life or death.

Does S/o need help?  Is S/o struggling with this? Does S/o need Gonta to read it for them?

After a while (and some talking with him in private) he eventually learns that you won’t die because of it, and that you can handle yourself on your own.

But, it is nice to have the support of someone.

So Gonta makes sure he’s the best gentleman he can be for S/o!

Because you have a special interest for bugs, Gonta makes sure that every day he shows you a new bug!

Explaining what they eat, how they live, different part of their body.

He’s overjoyed that you have such a fascination for bugs! Gonta will make sure to show S/o all the bugs he can!

Every time you two go on walks, he’s pointing out different bugs, in the grass or on trees.

(You get a lot of stares by others in public but Gonta doesn’t care that much)

Ryoma Hoshi:

Well, everyone has something different with them right? He definitely has his.

Yours just happens to be autism.

It really must suck to be stuck with your mind, he thinks.

But you still manage, and he admires that about you.

He definitely wants to help you out with what you’re dealing with but….he doesn’t know if he necessarily could… He might end up making things worse…

But he still tells you if there’s anything troubling you, he’s always open to listen. He might not be able to help but he can provide advice, maybe.

He was texting you one day and the topic of tennis came up, he doesn’t really play much anymore but…he’s still got the muscle memory, some of it at least.

Then you brought up how you wanted to play a match of tennis, and he asked you if you wanted to go for a match? He could teach you?

And then the winded up at the public court an hour later, lowkey regretting initiating this.

He teaches you the basics, how to serve and toss and hit back the balls and different techniques that he’s learned over the years.

The sun moves, and by the time you two call it a day he’s soaked with sweat, his muscles are stinging and he the water tastes so good as he gulps it up.

It reminds him of his younger years, bouncing from side to side, the cheering fans, the adrenaline.

He won’t admit it, but he misses the sport.

He waves goodbye to you, looking forward to the next time he can go back and play with you.

[artificialqueens]

I'll kiss it better

Hi! This is the first fanfiction ive ever written, so hope its not that bad! Its a trixya highschool au where they’re both girls. The whole story will be Trixie’s POV :) also im from Norway so my English is not the best so sorry if there is alot of misstakes :(( hope you enjoy this anyway !

It was just a regular day, nothing new. The day had started with trixie aplying her barbie makeup, putting on one of her too many pink outfits, having classes that she was focused in, meeting her friends Violet and Pearl and eating gross food in the cafeteria. All tho, a day wouldnt be normal without spending her luch staring across the room at the popular’s table. Not that she cared that they were popular, but she did care that the most beautiful girl she had ever layed eyes on was on of them.

“Trixie! Omg can you stop looking at Katya and focus on me for a few minutes??” Violet said frowning at Trixie that clearly had spaced out in the middle of Violets monologs about herself.

“Wait what did you say?” Trixie looked back at Pearl and Violet who were both looking at her, Violet rolling her eyes as usual.

“If you wasnt so focused on ms. I let the whole school bang me, you would have heard that i was talking about what im going to wear for my next model job next week.” Violet said looking back at Pearl who gave her a sympathetic look, knowing how much Violet became annoyed when people didnt listen to her.

“Im sorryyyy. Its just that-”

“Yes yes Katya is beautiful, katya is amazing and Katya is the best creature that has ever lived, we know.” Violet said looking more upset.

“But i mean she may be-”

“No Trixie. She is not a lesbian. She has sucked off half of the football team, also, i dont even get why a slut like her would be popular.” She said crossing her arms like a kid throwing a tantrum.

Trixie hated how much Violet disliked Katya. It was obvious that she was jealous of her populaity, but no one ever said anything. Pearl was too busy loving Violet and supporting everything she said, and Max who usually sat with them, was too shy to say somthing unless it was about something being too vulgar for her. Trixie usually ignored her and focused back at Katya, but calling her a slut was not ok.

“Just because she likes dick doesnt mean she is a slut.” Trixie said trying to defend Katya like she had been her best friend since kindergarten.

“Trixie omg you just said it yourself, she likes dicks not pussy so get over it already.”

The bell rang before Trixie got to say anything else, so she ended up just rolling her eyes and got out of the cafeteria as fast as she could.

The next class was maths, and even tho Trixie liked to focus on her school work, she couldnt help but think about what Violet had said. Its not like she belived it herself that Katya was a lesbian or a bisexual, but thinking she was straight was way too negative. The sadest part was probably the fact that Katya didnt even know who Trixie was, even after soon 3 years in high school. Not that Trixie had noticed Katya before the start of the 3rd year either, but it sucked having a crush on someone who had abselutely no idea that you existed.

-

It was a week later, and Trixie was sitting in the cafeteria again, listening to Violet talk about how her photoshoot had gone yesterday. Today Max sat beside her on their table and listened with full enthusiasm while she was talking. She heard something about the photographer being a pervert and Pearl getting upset over this and Max wanting to call the police, but honestly right now she couldnt care less, cause Katya was wearing shorts for the first time since fall and her ass looked so great in them. Not to mention her hair being tied up in a long curly ponytail and a black crop top with some sort of cigarette print on it, to be honest it was hard to say with Katya being on the other side of the room, but at least she got to stare at her from behind, which might have been the greatest part of her week. She started thinking about how it would be to actually talk with her, she always laughed loud and had the biggest and most happy smile she had ever seen, so she could probably do it if she went for it. Pffth like she was ever gonna be brave enough to even say hi to her in the hall, at least not with her bitch committee following her.

“Are you staring at that girl again?” Asked Max looking at her with a hopeless look. Max was the one she had known the logest and probably the most supportive of the group, but it didnt mean she helped alot in her crush situation.

“No no, i was just, um thinking about the math test next week, thats all.” Trixie said with a half smile and got her focus away from Katya.

“You need to get yourself together and say hi soon. You cant just stare at her for two years without even trying.” It was the most suportive comment she had gotten out of any of them forever and she was happy with Max trying to help her. Not that it was helping but at least it wasnt Violet saying focus on me and not that slut.

“But she doesnt even know i exist…” She sight and got up ready to get to her next class.

“Try a hi anyways, unless you dont want her to know that you exist.” Pearl said as they walked on their way to their different classes.

Trixie was daydreaming on her way to her class, thinking about all sort of things, till she was half way up the stairs. She felt someone behind her lifting up her skirt. At that moment she was so unconfortable and upset that she turned around, ready to punch the pervert who was trying to take a peek at her panties. There was a bunch of people, both boys and girls standing behind her giggling and wispering to each other, but at the very front, right in front of her was Katya. She was trying not to burst into laughter while her friends around her was laughing their asses of.

Trixie felt her cheeks heat up and she turned around and ran up the stairs almost tripping, but made it into on of the bathroom stalls. She felt tears running down her cheeks as she thought about the most embarrassing thing ever happening to her comming true. There she was having this great idea that Katya was this amazing person who everyone liked because she was funny and warm hearted. She was wrong, she was just another part of the whole mean girls group. She couldnt belive why anyone, at least not her, would do that to her for no reason other than a laugh. She was angry at her, and most of all herself for letting herself having a crush on her for so long when in reality she was just this cold hearted bitch.

-

That night was filled with ice cream and her three friend spening their time talking about how much of a bitch the mean girls are and why Trixie shouldnt blame herself for wearing short skirts.

“She was probably just tring to act cool in front of the guys. Not that im taking her side, but maybe its more to the story?” Pearl said trying to find out why she would do that.

“I mean i already said she was a filthy slu-”

“Language Violet.” Max interrupted.

“Omg shut up. I already said she was an attention seeking bitch.” Violet said looking back at Max to see if he was alright with her saying bitch, Max gave her a look of approval.

“I know you did, b-but i still dont get why i could have a cursh on her when she was this kind of person all along..” She tried holding back herself from tearing up again.

“You didnt know sweetheart, its not your fault.” Max said and gave her another hug.

“Look tomorrow you’re gonna go over to her with confidence and tell her to fuck off ok?” Violet said and looked at the other people shaking their heads.

“No thats just being imature Violet, let her ignore her if she wants to, maybe its just better to forget the whole situation.” Max said, but Trixie didnt really listen anymore, she as tired from crying the whole night and wanted nothing more than to forget this day and most of all, forget Katya.