#guys get so good at this so early on calling women emotional and crazy when literally they're the reason

[girlivealwaysbean]

honestly I totally understand now how men grow up to be total trashbags

[millersfinest]

untethered³ | e.w

00s!ellie williams & 00s!miller!reader

wc: 8.1k

series: chapter one, chapter two, chapter three (you’re here!), chapter four , chapter five

blurb: it’s been awhile since you’ve been back home; in upstate new york where you’ve spent most of your life waking up early and tending to the animals that moo’d and meh’d. after graduation high school, and then college, the city life has stolen most of your attention. enabling you to visit only a handful of times through the years. when your lovely adoptive parents (tommy and maria miller) invite you back for a thanksgiving dinner—a troubled old flame from your childhood manages to get your attention, despite its explosive ending.

cw: +18, lmao flip phones, r and ellie NOT beating the cheating allegations, more use of y/n then i would prefer, she/her pronouns, afab anatomy mentioned, some vulgar language, fuckgirl!ellie (kind of), the millers, r is a writer (she doesn’t write much in this ch wink wink), dina being a bitch, more horndog ellie, r being a little self-deprecating, elements of longing, ellie is #1 lesbian yearner in the world, jealous ellie, some early 2000s references, thanksgiving, r is still very jealous of cat, hella angst, rich!abby (one of r’s evil exes), emotional cheating (from ellie), r using abby for sex, repressed emotions, crazy mature chapter (wasn’t intentional lmao)

note: lmao guys, i just wanna say as i proceed with this series… i do not agree w cheating on your partners DONT DO IT. don’t be like ellie (or the reader), it hurts people’s feelings and it’s just not worth it. i hope i tagged everyone who wanted to to be. bisous little lesbians/sapphics in my phone <3 please, enjoy this dramatic ass chapter x

Normally, you wouldn’t be so pliant with Abigail—letting her hands drift toward the small of your back. Clearly, expressing her attraction, because she lost that privilege a while ago. But, you were weakened. And with the burning dark irises of an old friend into the back of your frame, you couldn’t help but let her. It was like she was some sort of cloak of invisibility. Some made up thing in your head ease your spirits.

You met Abby about a year ago, 2004, at some high profile event your agent made you go to. Isa introduced you as an aspiring author to anyone that she could, getting your name out there—which was a good thing, but horribly embarrassing at the time.

Abby was there with her dad, a well-known general surgeon in the city; when she was still in medical school. Wanting someone to talk to, you offered her a drink; a flute of expensive champagne. You didn’t hide your attraction to her, but you approached her with an open mind. Fortunately for you, the night consisted of flirting and great conversation. She was smart, and you loved smart women.

Give or take a few months, you withstand her busy schedule—dating each other, giving only a sliver of intention to one another. You weren’t sure what you wanted, but what you did know is that you couldn’t stand flakiness. Abby began to flake on you a lot; whether it was for her friends or work or school. For work and school you understood, but even then there were days you spent laying around each other completing your priorities. Somehow in the midst of your temporary romance, she began to cast you aside. Maybe it was because you weren’t drowning in money like she was. Or, she just didn’t like you—both were awful options.

Taking the lead, because you’d rather dump than be dumped, you broke up with her—she then hit you with: we weren’t in a relationship. Which was rough on the ears and heart. That was the first time you actually tried with someone in a long time, and she fucked it up. You learned your lesson, though.

The two of you didn’t speak for a few months, but then you called her on a very lonely night, begging for warmth. And, ever since then, it’s been off and on—you playing hard to get and her playing wanting to have.

In the bar, with your hand clutching your cold, cheap cocktail, you walked with her in the direction of Ellie. Abby had her eyes set on her friend group, so she didn’t realize you were slowing down. “I’ll catch up with you…”

“Oh—“ She looked down, seeing the table of three practically gawking at her. Abby made a face that was unreadable. “Don’t make me have to come and find you.” She purred in your ear, slipping her arm from around your shoulders. Abby was such a show off when she wanted to be, which was more often than not.

An uncomfortable smile rested on your lips, hand waving, shortly, to the three sat at the rocky table. Ellie looked completely taken aback, leaning forward on her elbows. “Who the fuck was that?” Ellie whispered as you slipped into the seat she saved for you. Her jacket was placed on the back of your seat, holding it for you.

“Hey, y/n!” Jesse spoke, grinning ear to ear, leaning back in his wooden chair.

“y/n,” Dina said, plastering a fake smile on her glossy lips.

Jesse snickered, taking a sip of his beer. “Is that all you? Goddamn.”

“She’s just a friend from New York…” You waved a hand, dismissively.

“We just watched her feel you up and buy you a drink. Some friend she is.” Ellie countered, glancing over her shoulder at the tall, muscular blonde sitting with her friends. And, weirdly enough, Abby had her eyes on her, too.

You scoffed, holding up a hand. “Okay, she didn’t feel me up. Just forget it.” Shaking your head, you replaced that stern look on your face with a smile. “Anyway, how are you guys? It’s been a long time.” You wrap your lips around the straw sticking out of your drink. The sweet tangy flavor of the alcohol mixed with cranberry juice spreading over your tongue—easing your worries.

He glanced at Ellie, briefly. So fast, you almost missed it. Almost. “I’m doing good. Just moved into my new place in Boston. How about you, Dina?” Jesse raised an eyebrow, nudging her arm.

She stirred the ice in her water with her straw, raising a thick eyebrow. “I’m great.” Dina responded, simply.

“Great.” You say, sipping your drink, awkwardly.

There was silence between the four of you that could only be classified as awkward, uncomfortable and tense. Ellie boring her big eyes into the side of your face as you, purposely, ignored her. Dina no longer having a reason to speak because of your sudden appearance. And, Jesse, well… He was normal. If anything he was trying to fight the demon that was the awkward silence.

Ellie shook her head, a scoff falling from her lips. Abruptly, she stood up, walking over to the bar. Even though her beer was barely touched. “What’s wrong with her?” You mutter, watching her get up. She motioned for the bartender, and you watched them fill up a shot glass. Her slender frame leaned over the bar top, on her toes. Pale skin exposed between the belt holding up her jeans and the hem of her shirt. You couldn’t help but let your eyes linger there—places you’ve touched with the pads of your fingers…

“I don’t know… But, I’m curious. Be right back.” Jesse stood to his feet, taking his beer with him. Leaving, none other than, you and Dina left alone.

Chewing your lip, you slide your drink forward, looking her in the eye. Perhaps, it was the liquid courage settling in your muscles. “Things shouldn’t be weird between us… Ellie wanted me here.” You felt the need to defend your place. Ever since that day, she always seen you as some predatory figure—now, that you think of it… She had even before that day. Just did a better job at hiding it. You were the predatory animal chasing over your gullible and prancing prey—Ellie

“Yeah, and sometimes she doesn’t know what’s good for her. So… I’m sure she did.”

Ouch.

You physically coiled at her words. A dry, pissed scoff fell from your lips. “Fuck you, Dina.” You cursed, leaning back in your chair. Ellie could never do wrong in her eyes—it was obnoxious. Did she have a crush on her or something?

She dryly laughed, shaking her head. “Fuck me?” Dina raised an eyebrow. “Look at her!” She jutted her brown eyes in her direction. “Every time you’re around, she ends up looking that. A wilted fucking flower.” She scolded you, causing you to follow her eyes. Jesse spoke to her with intent eyes. Ellie ran her hands through her hair, eyes shifting side to side. You didn’t know what they were talking about, but it seemed serious. “Just face it, y/n… You’re the common denominator here.”

The common denominator. What an interesting choice of words.

“She’d probably have a better night if you just leave. Go home. Let blondie over there take you home… Or a taxi. I don’t care.” Dina turned her face from you, like you were nothing.

Your hands began to shake and tremble from her words. The muscles in your face twitched and heated up like a furnace—eyes welling up with pained tears. You sniffled, standing up from your chair. Trying every which way not to make a fuss—saving face. She was always such a bitch! So, instead, you rushed to the bathroom with the stiffest posture. Heels stalking by Ellie and Jesse with eyes set on the women’s restroom to unleash your fury.

It was like a gust of wind passing her, Ellie’s words trailed as she unloaded onto Jesse about where her minds been. He was, probably, the only person she could even share it with. Dina didn’t like you very much, she was too emotionally involved. Jesse wasn’t bias and could give her proper advice—it was just up to Ellie if she wanted to follow it or not.

Ellie confessed that the feelings she had for you hadn’t gone away. Something he already knew. But she explained it like an act of a possession—as if the softness of your skin, the beauty of your features, the smell that exuded from you was a spooky presence that just won’t leave her alone. A poltergeist. It was becoming a carnal need the more she saw you.

But what about Cat?

What about her?

Then, on cue, you passed her. Ellie only caught a glimpse of your face. Jaw trembling, the sound of your emotional hiccups. Immediately, her olive eyes shifted to the young woman left at the table. She clenched her jaw, shaking her in disapproval. “Jesse, can you get a fucking handle on her?”

“Easy, Ellie. Don’t talk about her like that. She’s just looking out for you— or trying to.” He told, shifting on his feet. “…And she’s pregnant.”

Her eyes widened. “What?!” Jesse motioned for her to whisper.

“Shh! I wasn’t supposed to say anything. Dina’ll kill me.”

“You guys aren’t even together—“ Ellie pinched the bridge of her nose, squeezing her eyes shut. “Congratulations.” She intoned, running her hand through her hand. “If you don’t mind, I’m gonna go check on—“

“Yeah, go ahead. I’ll talk to Dina.”

Meanwhile, you paced around the single person bathroom. Purse thrown to the ground, makeup smudged down your cheeks. Fists clenched at your sides, and every few minutes pounding a spot on your thigh that inflicted enough pain to briefly distract you from the pain inflicted on your heart. Dina doesn’t understand! You’re not a bad person for what happened that day. When will Ellie get the heat for what happened? Why does it always have to be you? It was always your fault.

So much time has passed, meaning you’ve thought about the altercation for a long time. Hell, it was all you thought about at times. You should’ve never put your hands on Ellie that way—you knew that. But, she shouldn’t have pushed you to do it either. That was her mistake. Pushing and prodding at someone she claimed to love. Ellie was aware of that, too. She wrote about it in that letter she hand delivered on her eighteenth birthday.

Wringing your hands out, you heaved. Emotions still weighing heavy on your heart. Her words cut you like a knife—triggering you. Before you met Tommy and Maria Miller, life was so much harder. Everything was your fault and your birth parents—and the numerous foster parents that you had—made sure that you knew that. It wasn’t fair then, and it wasn’t fair now.

What stopped your progressing thoughts was the gentle call of your name, and a soft knock. It was Ellie.

“Go away!” You sniffled, leaning over the sticky sink to get a look at your appearance. It was a tragedy.

“Please, just let me in. I don’t know what Dina said… But, I’m sure it was fucked up— look, she has her reasons.”

“She has her reasons—?!” You exclaim, looking at the door through the reflection.

“But that doesn’t make it right. I know.” You heard her lean against the door. “Please, y/n.”

Wiping your face, you sighed. Sniffling, you walked over to unlock the door, gulping. “It’s unlocked…” You spoke, weakly. Positioning yourself with your back against the sink, you crossed your arms. Watching her push inside the bathroom, locking the door behind her. Ellie pressed her back against the door, observing you with the softest pair of green eyes you’ve ever seen. It was charming. Through her thick eyelashes, pelvis leaning forward—like she was a child in trouble.

“I’m so sorry about Dina. I should’ve never invited you… I just thought things would be different.” She frowned, fiddling with her fingers in front of her body. Her fingernails had chipped black nail polish on them; focusing on that was easier than focusing on her.

“Well…” You dryly chuckled. “You thought wrong.” Slowly, you drag your eyes from her hands, to her face—avoiding her eyes, though. “Apparently, you’d be better off if I left… Or died; if it were Dina’s way.” Your voice trembled, tears falling from the corners of your eyes. Dina didn’t tell you to die, but that’s what her tone told you. All you were doing was existing. If that’s what stressed Ellie out then… Fuck. Maybe you should just croak, huh?

Ellie ran her hands over her face, taking quick steps towards you. “Fuck— I don’t know why she said that.” Her hand ran through her straight hair, frustrated at herself and Dina. “I—… I do want you here. She doesn’t know what the fuck she’s talking about.” She reaches a hand out for you, but you flinch. There was a slight height difference to the pair of you—your heels caused you to look down at her. But, you weren’t looking down on her.

She was close enough for you to notice the orange-brown flecks in her irises. The ones you missed… So much, and desired wholly. However, you pushed yourself into the ceramic sink, fighting temptation. “Don’t tell me you actually believe what she said?” Her doe eyes looked up at you, demanding a response.

“I don’t know… It’s more than that, Ellie.” You analyze her features as inconspicuously as you could—which wasn’t possible. She noticed everything because she was doing the same thing.

Your bodies drew to each other like the opposite sides of conjoined magnets. Eyes intertwining and overcoming like they always did. Tensions were high, and you were in an enclosed space—your stomach rumbled with anticipation. “Tell me what it is, then.” The feeling of her fingers sliding up the curve of your elbow caused you huff, moving to the toilet to sit down. Cold air replacing where her fingers attempted to tether to you.

Ellie sighed, bunching her hand into a fist at her side. She knew what she was doing—after all, she was a pusher. It was hard to identify when to stop.

You dropped your head into your hands, forcing even breath from your lips. “It’s just… Old shit, okay? Dina struck a nerve.” You glanced at her through your hands, lips quivering.

Ellie took your previous spot, pondering. She knew about your life before your parents—how awful those people treated you; and she couldn’t understand why. You were a scorned person, like most of the kids you grew up with, but underneath it all you were soft. She’s witnessed that softness. And she will regret it for the rest of her life that she was the one to pull you from that that—all for dumb proof of trauma.

She realized too late that she was never alone in that traumatic suffering of the adoption system. After that day, she never wanted to see you hurt like that again. Or at all. Ellie wanted to make everything up to you.

Seeing those tears staining your cheeks; she wanted to kiss it better.

“I’ll talk to her.” The words fled from her mouth. Her old converse squeaked toward you, squatting before your sat figure on the filthy toilet. You turned your head, shutting your eyes and shivering at the thought of her. “Hey,” Her fingers grazed your jaw, pulling your eyes into her line of sight. “I will. She crossed the line— this isn’t my favorite version of you.” Her eyebrows deepened, pressing her lips into a firm line. She wanted to be level with you—not above or below.

Those words were music to your ears. Supple in its raspiness. The warm touch of her fingers on your face, you leaned into her hand. She had a favorite version of you? You reached up, gently gripping her wrist to pull it from you. Ellie shouldn’t have been touching you like this. But, even so, your bodies somehow gravitated toward one another. Eyes staring at each others parted lips, wanting. Needing. Her hand bracing on your thigh, pulling herself closer until your lips met.

Soft and forbidden. You gasped against her mouth, pulling away for a brief moment. Her olive eyes were pleading, and you just couldn’t say no. Being a victim of your flesh, your hand found its way to the back of her neck to pull her lips flush to yours. Mixed whines coming from the both of you; lips merging and meshing together. Creating something beautiful.

Every time you were physical with someone they were missing something. This was it! The passion, the history—the things that matter. The fucking chemistry; it was all there with Ellie. And, deep down, you knew that it was the only place you were going to find it.

She pushed into you, being guided by her carnal desire. Whining and growling into your mouth. Hands gripping at your hips, and the side of your backside. Ellie was hooked under a spell you concocted—some aphrodisiac that exuded from you. And she wanted to breathe more of you in until she couldn’t anymore. She was gluttonous.

Breaking her trance was a rough knock on the bathroom door. The two of you basically jumped apart; you falling into the toilet, nearly touching the water, her falling on the floor. Some of the glitter on your lips had rubbed off onto hers—it looked nice on her, but that was besides the point.

“Some people need to piss! Get out of the fucking bathroom!” Some heavy handed woman exclaimed from the other side.

A smile spread on her lips, hazy eyes watching as you pulled yourself up. “Fuck, Ellie. Why are you smiling?” You walk to the mirror, taking a look at yourself. You and Ellie had just kissed. The same Ellie who’s girlfriend is waiting for her back at the guesthouse. The pressure was already hitting you like a ton of bricks—Ellie was right, you had a terrible poker face. How could you forget about this? “Can you hand me that?” You pointed to the purse beside her.

She chuckled, standing up from the floor. Your purse was in her hand as she walked up behind you, handing it over. Her other snaking around your hips—clearly, still overcome. Taking the purse, you smack her hand away. “Enough!” You scold, deepening your eyebrows. She pouted, crossing her arms. Leaning her back against the wall, shutting her eyes. But it was soon replaced with a smirk.

Your fingers rummaged through your purse for your lipgloss. “This didn’t happen… This never happened…” You muttered to yourself. Once you found the sparkling tube, you began to apply it like a nervous tick. “I still don’t know what you keep finding so funny— nobody can find out about this, Ellie.” You turn to her, dropping your lipgloss back into your purse. “What just happened isn’t fucking funny—“

You were a homewrecker, a thief of girlfriends—watch out New York!

“You’re spiraling.”

“Yeah, and I have every reason to. This isn’t me. I’m not this person. You have a girlfriend!”

Ellie watched you ramble with a look of in awe in her eyes—you were fucked, and so was she. “I remember…” She couldn’t compel herself to care about the repercussions of hr actions; Ellie just wanted you. Even more now than before. She was given an inch, and she was ready to take a mile. Perhaps, longer if that was possible. Your ethics only made her want you more.

The glitter on her lips distracted you, causing you to reach your thumbs near her lips to wipe away the signs of you. Her wide eyes looked up at you, hands wrapping around your wrists. Where did she learn this type of behavior from? VHS porn?“Ellie, will you quit it?!” You stomped your foot, squeezing your eyes. “Fuck me.” You whisper to yourself, adjusting your purse.

“I’ll see you at home…” You mutter, placing your hand on the door handle.

“Am I not driving you?”

“No. You’re gonna stay here, mingle—fuck, I don’t care.” You shook your head. “Abby’s gonna take me home.” The words rushed from your lips because you were thinking and speaking at the same time. You needed an alibi and that’s what Abby was going to be.

The auburn-haired woman rolled her eyes, scoffing under her breath. Jealousy peaking inside of her like it did earlier. “Abby. Abby… The buff blonde you walked into the bar with— the one who was feelin’ you up.” She popped the p sound, nodding her head with searching eyes.

“She wasn’t feeling me up. I don’t think you know what feeling up looks like.”

“Show me, then.”

Your jaw almost dropped from its hinges, gasping at the woman before you. She was shameless, and you were the complete opposite—it was a recipe for disaster. “Like I said… I’ll see you at home.” You opened the door, slipping through to allow her some privacy. The people must’ve opted for the men’s restroom. Fucking freak. You thought, fighting the amused smile off your lips.

Adjusting your top, you approached Abby’s booth. She was surrounded by familiar faces—you knew them-ish. “Abs, can I talk to you for a second?” She looked up at you, blinking with slight confusion at your state.

“Oh, hi, y/n!” A short-haired woman grinned, wiggling her fingers at you.

You smiled at her, while Abby shimmied out of the booth. Taking her hand, you led her away from her friends, keeping her large hand in yours as you began to speak. “I know it’s early, but could you take me home? Like, now?”

She deepened her eyebrows, a hand dropping to your face, wiping at the mascara stains that had run down your cheeks. “Are these tears?” She bunched her eyebrows, gripping your chin and moving your head side to side. “I saw you run to the bathroom—“

“It’s not important, all right?” Your eyes peer up at the blonde woman, pressing your lips into a line. Pleading and batting your eyes at her—you really wanted to go home. And you weren’t necessarily doing it for Dina, it was more so because of her. As well as the fact that you had just made out with a woman who was spoken for. Whose girlfriend who is only ten minutes away, and who also offered to get champagne for Thanksgiving after you mentioned its absence. It was currently, probably, chilling in the fridge as all of this unfolded.

While you semi-sensually begged the woman to drive you home in her Jaguar, Ellie had gotten herself together in the bathroom. After you left, she released a joyful laugh once the door shut behind you. As if she had finished with making out with the hottest girl in school—very teenage-like. Her cheeks were flushed, blushing a warm mahogany through her freckles. You wanted her just as much as she wanted you; the kid proved that much.

But, then, a pang of guilt settled in the pit of her stomach. A fragment. Very small and minuscule.

It wasn’t right away; Ellie was certain that you thought of her to be cold based on how she was handling the situation. She had a girlfriend and found the situation amusing? You’re right—nothing was funny about what happened before you fell into the toilet and before she fell onto the floor. The both of you had managed to dig yourselves into a hole that she didn’t want to get out of. And she was sure you felt the same—she hoped you felt the same. Holes were fun, right?

Ellie wanted to keep digging deeper, and deeper, and deeper. She wanted to envelop herself with you, just like she used to. However, this time, she wasn’t planning on letting you go.

Cat was just something—someone she had to deal with in the meantime. She’s gonna fix it… Ellie just doesn’t know how, right now. She can’t think straight. Pun intended.

Leaving the bathroom, she checked her cell. Noticing the few messages her girlfriend had left her during the short period of time she had you to herself. Her avoidant nature caused her to skim them, then slap her phone shut.

“Everything good?” Jesse questioned, watching as she approached the table.

Ellie shoved her phone into her front pocket. “Yeah… Everything’s fine.” Her olive eyes averted to Dina. “Dude…?” She squinted her eyes.

“I’m sorry, Els. I went too far, I know.”

“I’m glad you know.” She sat in her chair, glancing over at you talking to the buff blonde. “What you said was fucked up, and I should be more mad at you, right now…”

She sighed, pouting her lips. “Well, thank you for your mercy, sire.” A smile creeped onto her lips.

“Dina,” Ellie narrowed her eyes, shaking her head.

Jesse side-eyed her, pressing his lips into an unimpressed line. She looked over at him, lips parting. “Just tryin’ to lighten up the mood. Excuse me.” Dina deepened her eyebrows, sliding down in her chair.

Ellie chortled, shaking her head once more, making sure to swing it far to get a glance at you. She watched you follow Abby back to her booth, telling them that you were leaving. Her hand guiding you, rubbing circles on the back of your hand. Fuck, that should’ve been Ellie. She hated watching you lean into her like that—shrinking yourself. That wasn’t you.

You were bold, opinionated, and despite your strict upbringing, you never shrunk. If anything, Maria and Tommy’s parenting gave you confidence. That used to intimidate Ellie, but it didn’t anymore. It influenced her.

As you walked out with Abby, Ellie gave an awkward wave, but you snapped your head in the other direction. You needed to clean your pallet, and that’s exactly what you were planning to do in that shiny black Jaguar.

When the door opened, the brisk, autumn air hit you, cooling your body down. But your mind was still set on using Abby as a cleanser—a handkerchief to wipe you of your mistakes.

You feigned a straightforward destination, giving her the address of your childhood home. But, halfway, you told her to pull over onto a dark dirt path. She made a joke, asking: Is this where you kill me and steal my car?

And you respond, full of need: I don’t want your stupid fucking car. I want you. Launching yourself over the center console, wrapping your arms around her face. You swing one of your legs over to straddle her in the driver’s seat. Hips grinding against her, shoving your tongue down her throat like she was going to leave you. Although, she wasn’t going anywhere—not with you on her lap, anyway.

Abby groaned into your mouth, gripping your ass over your jeans, pushing you harder against her. Messily, you begin to trail your lips down her jaw, toward the softness of her neck. Urgently nibbling at her skin. “Fuck, you’re eager…” Abby muttered through her heavy breathing. “I like this version of you.”

This isn’t my favorite version of you. Ellie’s voice echoed in your head. It frustrated you.

Warmth built up under the crotch of your jeans; the thick seam doing very little for the pleasure you wanted. “Please, Abby…” You breathed into her ear, tugging at the silver ring through her cartilage. “Touch me.” Reaching for her hand, you place between your legs, cupping her hand as she groped you. Meeting her eyes, you taunted her, chewing on your bottom lip.

The blonde didn’t hesitate, unbuttoning your jeans and shoving her hand inside. She was always quick to give rather than receive—listening to any command you spoke. As the pads of her fingers contact with where you needed her the most, you sighed. “You’re so wet for me already…”

It was debatable whether it was for her or not. With your eyes squeezed shut, you imagined the earthy, olive eyes of your past lover. The softness of the her lips. The desperation in which she put her all into pleasing you—it was experienced before. But, at that point, you were amateurs. So much has changed since then. You were curious how much, though. “All for you.” You whined, rocking your hips against her hand. Lying through your teeth.

She pressed two fingers into you, pushing a moan from your throat. Hands gripping her shoulders, bracing your weight. You imagined them to be her fingers curling deep inside of you—pulling sounds from you like a puppeteer.

You were worser than you thought.

Abby was supposed to be a pallet cleanser, but instead she was just a vessel for your horny fantasies.

The palm of her hand rubbed against your clit, pushing you closer to an edge you wanted to fall off of. A tightness built in the pit of your stomach—burning like a prosperous flame; standing by to erupt. “Ah… Fuck, yes!” You lewdly affirmed, fingers gripping the roots of her hair, back arching into her. The smell of lavender shampoo wafting into your nose from how close you were.

Ellie would never wash her hair with lavender shampoo. She stuck to sweeter, muskier smells. The one’s you liked.

Your legs trembled around her hips, jolting with every stroke and thrust. Her ministrations intensifying causing the sounds from your lips to get louder, laced with desire. “Abby,” You trembled with a warning tone. “I’m g—gonna… Fuck, I’m comi—“ Your choppy words are cut off with the snapping of a band in your stomach—spreading over you like a brisk gust of wind. Shocking your body into a brief state of paralysis against her strong frame.

She coax’s you through your orgasm, with that same come hither motion that got you there to begin with. Although, she was so quiet. That’s when clarity hit you, as you shakily rocked against her hand. Reaching down, you grip her wrist, kissing the pressure point under her ear. “Can you check the time f’me?” You sweetly ask, still subtly, rutting against her.

Abby checked the watch on her wrist. “Eleven-something.” She hummed into your neck.

“Eleven-somethin’, huh?” You tease, lifting off her, trying to settle back into the passenger seat. “I should probably get home…” You zipped and buttoned your pants. Normally, you’d be eager to return the favor, but your plan didn’t work—and, frankly, that irritated you. That nerdy, auburn-haired, freckled woman, that you knew so well, had burrowed herself under your skin already. It was a recipe for disaster.

There was a twitch in Abby’s brow at your sudden departure from her. She felt that bite of coldness; it was something she wasn’t used to. Nonetheless, she drove you home. With you leaning on the window, watching dark, shedding trees pass you by. All the way until you felt that familiar shift from side to side as you cruised over the gravel that led to your childhood home.

“How long are you gonna be here for?” You asked as she pulled to a stop, where Ellie’s car was previously parked. It was out of courtesy to wonder; these parts of town wasn’t really for people like her.

“Until the end of the week, then back to work.” She turned toward you, pushing her hair behind her ear. “When am I gonna see you again?” Record scratch. Abby Anderson has never asked you that. She was always aloof and carefree. I’m too busy. Let me check my schedule.

You couldn’t help the laugh that fell from your lips. “I’m really tying to spend some time with my family, but— uhm… I’ll call you, okay?” Leaning over the console, you place a lush smooch on her lips—riding on the confidence from her lack thereof.

Getting out of her expensive car, you adjust your clothing before walking into your house. Thankfully, the lights were off, meaning your parents were asleep. Thank, God. You looked awful, and you preferred not to be questioned on your state, Ellie’s whereabouts, and who took you home.

Gently, you shut the door behind you, keys jiggling in your hand. Slipping out of your heels, you tiptoed toward the fridge just to prove something to yourself. The white light from the fridge illuminated your deadpanned expression as two tall bottles of champagne sat on the second shelf. Nobody likes champagne that much. You rolled your eyes, scoffing under your breath.

Cat didn’t deserve any of what happened tonight, and you hated that.

When you got to your bedroom, you wasted no time to peel the clothes from your body. Falling atop of your mattress like a starfish. Before you slipped under the covers, you pulled your laptop onto your stomach to log into your MySpace. There was a red notification on your activity icon. When you click on it, StarlightWilliams had added you back—you were mutuals now. The pads of your fingers touched your lips, remembering the softness of hers from that moment in the bathroom. The pressure of her slender fingers gripping your sides—wistfully you sighed, slumping your head against the fluffy pillows and stuffed animals against your headboard.

Suddenly, your computer makes a sound—a ping. You sit up, squinting at the incoming notification.

kit_cat79 wants to be your friend!

What a coincidence. The website exposes whether you were online or not—you couldn’t hide from her. So, you decided to add her back. Cat’s picture was of her with her tongue out, dark bangs styled to the side. You didn’t realize that she had a tongue piercing—could she get any cooler? Maybe you should get a tongue piercing.

Her mood hadn’t been recently updated, but it was: Optimistic.

Her bio didn’t over explain much, but said more than her freckled counterpart: my name is cat and i do tattoo’s !! message me for inquiries (or ur a loser). Your eyes and cursor skimmed her account, not paying attention to the smaller details. Quickly, you navigated to the pictures and videos. There were some pieces of her work, candids of Ellie, pictures of her at band shows—

kit_cat79: hey… i know it’s late, but that was you who just got back, right?

The messages appeared at the bottom left corner of the screen, blinking green.

BugsWritersRoom: Hey, yeah. That was me…

Duh.

kit_cat79: i thought you went with ellie in her truck. also… where is she? she’s not answering my texts.

Was she worried about her? Or was her questioning coming from a place of distrust? Or, a secret third option... you had a bad case of paranoia.

BugsWritersRoom: She’s still at TB. I’m sure she’s just distracted catching up with Jesse and Dina.

kit_cat79: oh…

kit_cat79: that was some car you pulled up in...

She was wanting to start conversation, but you were too tired. You didn’t want to think about, or talk to another person about Abby. Let alone, talk about her with Cat. No offense. Sleep is the only time when your mind was going to finally rest, and you can resume thinking tomorrow.

Leaving her message on seen, you shut your laptop, pushing it to the side. You took Cat’s message as a sign to shut it down, reaching to click your lamp off.

You allowed sleep to take over, cuddling into your pillows as if it were a body. Hitching your leg over it, tugging it to your chest. Could you have been more evident in your loneliness? In your restless dreams, your brain scoured for something to show you. Something relevant, of course.

Olive eyes, freckles, prominent beauty mark—it was obvious what images it was looking for. Ellie.

By the time the sun lingered on the horizon, a tragic alarming song sang in unison to wake you—the sound of your ancient alarm, and the sound of the rooster sat atop of the chicken coop. Groaning into the pillow you held, squinting your eyes open. It had pulled you from a dream that was… Certainly, a dream. It was untoward, lewd; just straight up nasty.

There was a wetness between your legs that was the first to get your attention. Out of shameful curiosity, you reached your hand under your shorts; hoping it wasn’t your period suprising you. Pulling your fingers out, there was an absence of the dark hue that was a symbol of your menstrual cycle. It was fairly clear, shiny, and slick. You were a victim of a wet dream. How juvenile.

The sight of it only made your hornier. So, while you still had time, you jumped for one of the bags you brought. You were expected for morning chores, but there was always time to rub one out.

Taking the battery-powered silver bullet from you bag, you attempt to switch it on but it doesn’t respond. You even switch the batteries around, blowing into the port. “Come on…” You complain, but it still it doesn’t adhere to you.

You groan, falling back into your pillows. There was nothing wrong with going old school, but you were a creature of habit.

Sliding your hand down your body, you slip under your shorts and underwear. It didn’t take long for you to completely rouse yourself, blinking your eyes shut to fall into your imagination. Usually, the best material was your most recent hookup—or some celebrity crush that you couldn’t get over.

The movement of your finger mirrored a strong blonde who always aimed to please you. You could imagine yourself gripping her long, silky hair, pushing her into your pussy—devouring you. Feeling her hands gripping your thighs, anchoring them to the mattress.

You relished in the feeling that was slowly washing over you. So much so that when the image of blonde hair began to fade and be replaced by short auburn strands, you barely noticed. Subconsciously, replicating the dream that kept you snug as a bug all through the night.

Your ministrations quickened as you neared finality. Bottom lip slipping between your teeth. Soft, repressed moans sneaking through them as your hand clutched your breast, thumbing your sensitive nipple. The serotonin levels increasing with every swipe and slide. Fuck, El—

Downstairs, the artist peeled dried paint from her fingers, waiting for you. Staying out late knowing she had to get up for chores was a huge mistake. There were many mistakes that happened last night. Another being, ignoring Cat’s messages. Ellie pulled into the driveway not too much later than you—it was nearing one o’clock.

When she entered the guesthouse, shrugging off her jacket—with a mind busier than New York City herself—Cat was found in the small living room. With her thin eyebrows bunched together and her arms crossed over her chest. Dressed in nothing but a fitted tank top and cheeky underwear.

Ellie had looked at her with a stressed look, “What are you still doing up?” Walking past her to the bedroom to undress and unwind. Cat scoffed, following her to the bedroom. Slippered feet stomping behind the artist.

“What am I doing up?!” She chided, twitching toward her. “I’ve been texting you all night, Ellie. You couldn’t respond to one?”

The freckled woman plopped onto her side of the bed, kicking off her shoes. She pretty much saw the messages as they were coming in; Ellie just didn’t have the nerve to respond. She didn’t feel like it. Not after what happened in the bathroom—she couldn’t come back from that. Hell, she didn’t want to come back from that. The only image replaying in her mind was your lips on hers. Your hands imbedded in her hair. The wanton sounds coming from you that she wanted to hear on again, and again, and again. That feeling of being between your legs...

And, let’s not even get into how it felt to see you leave with Abby. That ruined her whole night. Not even Jesse could cheer her up.

She ran a hand through her hair, looking over her shoulder with a tired expression. “Babe, I’m sorry, okay?” She began, standing to her feet to remove her jeans. “We just got too carried away talkin’ and whatnot.” Walking to the bathroom in the bedroom, she shed her shirt from her body. Ellie found it too easy to lie—she’s always been good at it. And, Cat was pretty gullible. But she had to throw a monkey wrench in there to really calm her down.

“Turns out… Jesse got Dina pregnant.”

“What?”

She turned on the shower, then peaked out of the doorway. “Yeah, how crazy is that?”

The tattooed girl fell onto the edge of the bed, eyes casting toward the ground, full of uncertainty. “Super crazy…”

Noticing the subtle dejection in her features, Ellie sighed. Leaving the doorframe as the shower ran hot in the background. She appeared before her, reaching her hand down to lift her chin. “Kitty Cat,” Her voice was soft and oh, so forgiving. “I should’ve responded to your texts— I’m an asshole. Let me make it up to you…” She sultrily offered, caressing the softness of her chin with her thumb.

And that’s what she did. Ellie made it up to her girlfriend of almost a year. By fucking her in the shower hard enough to make her forget about all of her uncertainties.

She had a long night.

This morning, she got up an hour earlier to get a better start on her sketch—she even started incorporating her oil paints. That’s what was stuck to her hands. The coloring in of her portrait of you in front of that shed. She felt the need to freeze that moment in time; where you embraced each other in the arms of company for the first time in too long. That hazardous kiss you shared in that sticky bathroom at the Tipsy Bison inspired her to color in the lines.

“I normally hear her up and movin’ around… She’s taking longer than I thought she would.” Maria commented, munching on a buttered bagel. “How long were you two out last night?”

Ellie inhaled, lifting her eyebrows in thought. “I got back around one, but y/n came back earlier than I did. She got a ride from a friend.” She shrugged, the ends of her lips curling, mischievously. “I think her name’s… Abby.” Ellie added, glancing between the two parents.

“Hm. What made her leave early—?” Tommy began to ask, but he stopped himself. He frowned, leaning his elbows on the counter, peering at the auburn-haired woman across from him. “How’s Dina doin’?”

She chuckled. “Still pissed, if that’s what you’re getting at?” Ellie went from peeling paint off her fingers, to fiddling with them. “They got into a bit of a…”

“Fight?” The blonde woman questioned, deepening her arched eyebrows. She never liked hearing about you fighting—or seeing it. That was a strictness Maria was never going to get rid of. Tommy used to get into fights a lot, finding himself locked behind iron bars at the county jail. But that was years before he moved to New York. When he still lived in Texas with Joel.

“No.” Ellie bunched her eyebrows in defense, shaking her head. “It was an argument, but it didn’t last long. I handled it.”

Steps sounded from the stairs, silencing the three. Pairs of eyes peered up the stairs, hoping that it was you stalking down the steps—but it wasn’t. When he began clearing his throat and coughing, loudly, they knew it was Joel. “Goddamnit…” Tommy rolled his eyes, slapping his hand against his thighs.

“Good mornin’ to you, too, Tommy.” Joel scoffed.

He huffed, licking his lips. Just like you did when you grew irritated—Tommy’s antics had rubbed off on you. “Is there any signs of life from my kids' room—? Because she should’ve been down here five minutes ago.” He looked to Joel before glancing at his watch. “Maria and I planned for her to teach Ellie how to do our grocery shipments.”

“Grocery shipments?” Ellie cast her earthy eyes toward Maria.

“It’s a lot of information, but I’m sure you’ll catch on just fine, Ellie.” She placed her hand atop of hers, pressing her lips into a smile. “If only your teacher could be timely…” Maria sighed.

The freckled artist stood up straight, pursing her lips. “I can go check and see if she’s up…” She offered, shrugging nonchalantly. “I’m sure she is— maybe she just needs a little nudge. I had rough time this mornin’, too.” To be frank, offering to grab you from the second floor of the house was clouded with selfish intentions. Ellie hadn’t seen your bedroom since she was seventeen. She couldn’t help but wonder if anything had changed.

And, she wanted a useful reason to talk to you.

Your parents are wondering what the hell you’re doing— also, how was our kiss from 1-10?

Hey, you’re supposed to be teaching me about grocery shipments, right now— hypothetically, would you kiss me again… Or?

She was such a loser for you; she always has been. “If you don’t mind. I’m sure she’d appreciate seeing you more than me.” Tommy chuckled, nudging his wife but she barely broke a smile. Staring her husband down with icy, blue eyes.

Ellie’s eyebrows twitched, but she decided not to interact with whatever happened there. Quickly, moving to the stairs to find you.

What she could remember about your room was the pink wallpaper and the posters. You used to be very persistent in upgrading old ones for new ones—saving the old ones in your closet. She found it amusing how you could never get over anything; you liked to collect things. As many things as possible—posters, collectors items, superhero figurines—you were an undercover geek!

The fascination you had with catwoman was insane. But, understandable.

The stairs of your home was guided by many picture frames. Pictures of you lining the walls. The bottom starting with photos of you when you still went heavy on the eyeliner and hairspray; gradually preceding with much happier images of you. The final photo being the whole family together, including Ellie. It was taken after your college graduation, in front of the house. You were sandwiched between your grinning parents while Joel and Ellie were on both ends; her sporting a timid smile, and him grinning just like his brother.

She was so proud of you that day, but didn’t dare to enunciate that how she really wanted to. At the time, the shoulder you gave her was ice cold. Brisker than the harsh weather of the east coast.

When she emerged at the top step, the first door in front of the stairs was cracked open. But that wasn’t your bedroom, that was your parents’ bedroom. Down the hall, to the right, after passing an open floor planned media space, was the guest room. Where Joel was spending his nights. A little further down that hall was your bedroom.

It was the best spot in the house. Your bedroom have the best view of the front of the house, and was far enough from the prying ears of curious parents.

Neither you or Ellie were innocent teenagers—you both couldn’t wait to get some alone time, and you couldn’t keep your hands off each other once you started. It was the perfect place for late night shenanigans.

Again, some things never change, huh?

Strolling toward your door, Ellie raises her hand to give a soft knock. But she pauses at the faint sounds coming from under your door. Breathy whines, the light rocking of your old, rickety bed frame. Could she hear just how wet you were from outside your door?

She leaned closer to the brown door, her bottom lip slotting between her teeth. Ellie wanted to be sure she was hearing correctly, of course. She heard you cursing and swearing, but nothing shocked her more than when she heard you squeak her name. “Fuck, Ellie…”

Apparently, Ellie wasn’t the only one who was overcome. Wanton sounds filled her ears like a mantra before she decided to interfere. Knock, knock! She heard you gasp.

“It’s Ellie... Your parents are gonna throw bitch-fits in T-minus five minutes if you’re not downstairs soon.” Ellie kept herself composed, using her hand to hold her weight against the wall. She heard you shuffling behind your door, cursing under your breath.

“I’ll be down in, like, five minutes!” You shout, the sound of quick maneuvering being heard from Ellie’s side of the door.

She wanted you to open the door, just to get a glimpse of that blissed out look on your face—Ellie anticipated that flustered look. Forgetting about her own blushing cheeks after hearing you say her name while touching yourself. She felt like a fucking king.

Stuffing her hands into her pockets, she walked to the media space. Lifting up CDs, VHS tapes, and eyeing thick books that haven’t been touched in years to pass the time. Fuck, Ellie—still played in her mind like a record. There wasn’t any scratching, only smooth playing; no interruptions.

When you appeared from your room, dressed in your working cowboy boots, a long-sleeve Abercrombie shirt and bootcut jeans—there was a shit-eating grin that just wouldn’t leave her face. Ellie turned around to lay her eyes on you, unable to help but ogle. “Do you have a condition that you’re not mentioning? Perhaps, a tumor—? Since you can’t help yourself when it comes to laughing…” You grumble, placing your hands on your hips.

Your words only made her smile more. The more time the two of you spent together, the more snarky you were becoming—she missed that. “Turns out, under some circumstances… I can be a morning person. Some circumstances.” She muttered, mainly to herself but she didn't mind if you heard. Ellie deliberated with herself on whether she was going to expose what she heard you say… Or, if she was going to hold onto it. Similar to how victorians put the hair of their lover’s into lockets.

“Whatever, Els.” You rolled your eyes, loosely calling her by that nickname, again. Ignoring the harshness of her eyes, you passed her to descend the wooden stairs. There was still a mindless sleepiness to you. It was charming to your past lover, as she followed behind you—floating on air. Thinking about how great of an idea it was to come back this year.

And, still, Ellie was barely harbored with guilt. Even more so when she inspected your features, intently. When her thoughts wandered into the gutters of her creative mind—spreading you wide in all of your glory.

taglist: @autisticintr0vert , @liasxeatt , @hopingforgoodblogs , @lia-winther , @macaroni676 , @tobiotruther , @anewkindofloove , @fatbootymuncher (i love your user lmao) , @maiaska

[sillymommy6969]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ 𝕲UESS ᝰ! CHAPTER SIX

synopsis: katseye lucked out when their team managed to score a-list award-winning actress, y/n l/n to be featured in their upcoming music video for ‘touch’. when the cameras turn off and the doors close, lara feels a little more than just onscreen chemistry with her music video love interest.

On the drive to the café, you assured your manager you would make sure you all show up to the studio on time. In the black corvette you got from your parents as a gift for your 18th after winning a Golden Globe. Dressed in a grey sweater, a navy MLB cap on backwards, some camo sweats, and some ice, you were definitely dressed more on the comfort-casual side. You knew you were going to be thrown in so many different styles and getups for the day, you needed some relief.

You hadn’t even noticed your heart drumming against your chest until you turned into the last corner the café was on. You usually concealed emotions well, especially when it came to meeting different kinds of people. It was your job to be able to put up a front, but the sound of your heart racing against in your ear was drowning out the sound of the radio.

The café you wanted to go to was frequented by Californian stars, you knew their security personnel was good enough for you to have a private first meeting.

When you parked, you checked yourself in the mirror, yanking your phone out of its holder. You texted your manager a quick message informing him of your arrival before getting out the car. Sophia had texted you they had arrived a couple minutes ago, so you’d assumed they had gotten a seat for themselves. When you entered the coffee shop, you were greeted by the barista you had the pleasure of befriending after many trips here for a snack early before a flight or late after a shoot.

“Hey, y/n, good to see you.” Yeonjun called. He grabbed a paper cup, flipping it in-air before holding a pen to its “I got your usual coming up. Want a bite today?”

You hummed, “Yeah, an eclair would be great. I’m actually here to meet a couple new friends, YJ. Did you happen to see a group of pretty women walking in here?”

He nodded, gesturing towards the back. “Around the cut, I got them a table out of view. Figured it was important.”

You shot him a smile. “Thanks. $30 in the jar for you.”

You stuffed a couple notes in the tip jar, giving him a wink. He chuckled, shaking his head. “You spoil me.”

When you circled around back to the VIP section of this café, it was criminal how fast your eyes scouted the group out of the few people sitting. When they spotted you, Sophia was first to stand, meeting you in the middle for a brief hug.

“Oh my God, y/n! It’s so nice to finally meet you.”

You smiled at her, “Yeah, likewise. Damn, you guys are crazy tall.” You joked, glancing between all six of them. They were a good couple inches taller than you, but their bright smiles and vibrant clothing gave them a softer, friendlier edge. “And more beautiful than your pictures, which I didn’t think was possible.”

They’re all stunning in their own way—each with a presence that demands attention—but one of them catches your eye almost immediately. Her tall, dark and mysterious aura seemed to intrigue you—just like she had when you saw her pictures.

She’s standing just a few feet away, her posture confident but not overbearing. There's an easy grace to her movements as she adjusts something on her wrist, her attention momentarily focused on fixing the crooked bracelet as Manon and Sophia bombarded you with words. Yet, as soon as her gaze shifted to meet yours, it broke through your professional exterior, you glanced down, swallowing thickly to regather your composure. You looked up, feeling Daniela push herself forward between the two eldest members of the group.

“Honey, we are absolutely obsessed with you.” she grinned, tilting her head. She was rather affectionate, loud when she was excited. You could see why your friends recommended texting her to break the ice. “When we found out we would be working with you, I almost broke my phone.”

“Spoiler alert, she did break her phone.” Megan snorted, earning an exaggerated glare from Daniela.

As they bickered about, you found your nerves easing at the chaotic energy these girls brought. Without the supervision of their manager, they were rather unfiltered, and that made you a lot more comfortable. Still, your attention split between the narrative and a certain red-headed Scorpio, who had yet to say anything despite being the one you’ve talked to most online.

You found yourself drawn to her. There's something about the way she carried herself—effortless, cool, but with a quiet intensity that felt magnetic. The other members chattered around you, making small talk, but your attention kept slipping back to Lara, who seemed to sense your curious gaze. She offered you a subtle, knowing smile, the kind that makes your heart skip a beat. And that had only ever happened around one other person in your life, a person who loved playing games with you.

"Do y’know anything about the music video?" When she finally spoke, her voice was smooth, velvety, almost teasing, as if she already knew more about you than she let on. It didn’t seem intentional, like that was who she was, who she presented herself to be. It was so attractive, so electrifying.

"No," you managed, your words feeling a little more breathless than you'd like. "My manager didn’t tell me anything.”

Her smile widened just a fraction, her eyes flicking down your outfit before returning to your face. "I think it’s gonna be fun. But you’ll be in and out the changing room a lot today."

Both of you didn’t seem to notice the knowing glances shared among the other five members, before Sophia cleared her throat, changing the topic. “We gotta head to the studio, have you gotten anything to eat yet?”

You nod, the energy between the two of you palpable now, thick with unspoken curiosity. As the others continue talking, you can’t shake the feeling that there’s something more here—a connection, an unspoken understanding—that might make this experience with Katseye something… memorable. And it’s definitely not just the music video you’re thinking about now.

You can’t help but wonder how deep this connection could go.

You just could not stop thinking about Lara. You wanted nothing more than to get to know her better, get to know what was behind those sharp eyes and gated lips. Her confidence was intoxicating, the way her eyes raked you up and down, despite showing no interest over text and obviously having a lot of people she’s talking to on the side.

You had been welcomed by so many respectful staff, given so many gifts and invited into comfortable spaces. Even when you were finally stripped out of your last outfit and lead to a room to wait while Roy and Katseye’s team made a couple arrangements, you couldn’t stop thinking about her.

It was obvious to you there were more eager members of the band who wished for some time alone, but you just wanted to figure her out. As insane as that sounded, you reminded yourself you only began texting this woman for one weekend, and this morning was the first time you’d laid eyes on her.

“Okay, thank you for waiting, y/n.” Grayson, the director of the music video announced when he walked through the door. “It’s an honour to be able to work with you.”

“Likewise,” you replied with a smile, eyeing Sophia behind him.

“So I’ve explained your parts in this music video. You’re the woman these girls have been thinking about, they’re sad, they’re mad, they’re frustrated with you toying with their feelings.” You nodded along to his explanation, “You’ll be filmed rolling your eyes when they call, ignoring them, flirting with other people and stuff but those are standalone scenes. For another part of the video we’re gonna film last, we need you posing in a photo booth with one of the girls like a cute couple, before walking down the street chasing after another woman you saw through the shop window.”

So you were playing the toxic partner in a relationship; that’s a first, you’ve always been on the receiving end.

“So right now, we have the girls lined up and we’ll do a really quick chemistry screening. Sophia’s up first.”

The two of you shared a quick smile, before you were guided towards a table with two cups in front of a camera. You were then told to act like the two of you were on a date. And though Sophia’s bright expression softened the awkward tension at first, it was obvious when the two of you would accidentally move your hands at the same time and apologize quickly.

The director shook his head, “Okay, the two of you look cuter as a friendship, the romance feels forced on screen.”

Sophia nodded, the two of you sharing a couple words making a joke about breaking up before the leader was invited to leave. Then came Manon, and you knew it was going to be a while.

next. 𝜗𝜚⋆₊˚ masterlist.

taglist: @vivilvr @1luvkarina @meiphobic @yeetaberry127 @lafortezalover @lararajjj @kristalag @meizinisnumberone @vrtualstar @artrizzler19 @arihiu @cassiespoiler @nyssalvr @hazel-tanthamore22 @kathleenmikaelson @taikabui @wtfisthisnoclueman @onlyyou-metanoia @yjiminswallet @firstclassjaylee @xochitlisbest @saysirhc @sunshinez4 @fruityg0rl @urmom2314 @cceanvvaves @bowforgodjihyo @blushmimi (taglist open!)

[celticbotanart]

*Squid Squidward wide awake meme* ALRIGHT, hear me out - I've been saying for a while how much Witcher 3 reminds me of the Brazilian countriside (more specific Minas Gerais). And ever since I had this madlad dream of a Brazilian Witcher except we called them Bruxeiros (the X here is pronounced like "SH" not like the American "X" - its kind of a meme here, kind of a "literal" PT-BR translation, it's complicated), and they fight Brazilian folklore badass stuff like Boitatá (fucking giant fire snake), Iaras (river mermaids) and un-curse women that became Mula Sem Cabeça (literally headless mules running around with fire coming out their necks). These are all some of our most well-known folklore for real, lol (HIGHLY recommend season 1 of Brazilian Netflix show Invisible City if you wanna see more! It's REALLY good!)

ANYWAY. I was in my kitchen making toast at midnight, when it occured to me. I had A VisionTM. Brazilian Witcher battle music would be like. Floral Fury.

For those unfamiliar, this specific Cuphead theme is 200% oldschool Brazilian samba - yeah the "weird straw-against-plastic-lid" sound is an actual instrument, it's called cuíca lol "Nah, but this is too happy and cheerful", you say. Alright, you are correct, maybe it doesn't fit to be a battle theme for the Bruxeiros. HOW ABOUT SEPULTURA, THEN

SEPULTURA, THE BRAZILIAN METAL BAND, who performed this song as soundtrack for the BR movie "Lisbela e o Prisioneiro" (one of my fucking faves btw), and it the theme song for Frederico Evandro, a character who's ruthless hitman ("Matador").

BRO. IMAGINE. The peaceful and colorfully bucolic countryside of Minas Gerais and you are there fighting a Brazilian Werewolf (cause they are different from the European werewolf, we have several types btw), with THAT playing as battle theme.

Another good contender is Break of Reality's rendition of "As Bachianas n5" by Villa-Lobos (guy was a badass proeminend classical music composer who loved to mix in Brazilian folk elements with the classical music sttuff, pissing off a lot of purists in the process lol, good for him)

"As Bachianas n5" is probably Villas' most famous piece, it's originally a GORGEOUS aria, classically sung in Brazilian Portuguese.

SEVERAL people covered this song, including Sandy from sibling duo Sandy & Junior (they were EXTREMELY POPULAR with kids and teens back in the 90s/early 2000s); also people from all around the world covered it. You get it, it's pretty legit and famous AF.

THEN came Break of Reality a few years ago

with THIS badass cover:

LOOK.

THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE VERSIONS OF THIS SONG. I STAN THIS COVER SO HIGH. I LOVE how it is sweet and emotional, but it brings a totally different, new, raw aspect to it that is so strangely fitting to this song (I can't explain, it just is). I can easily imagine this in the Bruxeiro!AU as battle music, even more cause a lot of the og Witcher 3 OST is full of slavic folk music that doesn't even reflect the Battling of Monsters thing - "...Steel For Humans" is like, a song sung by girls on wedding/harvest festivals, lol.

ON THAT NOTE, I think we could end this crazy ass post by including some of the folk / afro-Brazilian culture as well, which is only fair, and add this one, which I LOVE, "Caxangá / Escravos de Jó" by Milton Nascimento (my beloved <3) and folk singer Clementina de Jesus:

Milton is known to sing in high, ethereal vocalizations and extremely emotional lyrics. Guy is just A Fucking Legend fr. If there's a bard in my Bruxeiro!AU it's def Milton, I love his work so so so much! He's also known for mixing up influences from afro-brazilian culture, as you can see in here!

Stay tuned for more posts like this that can happen again at any moment or never again, lol

[goodgrammaritan]

My personal favorite is season 3. Minus how they treated Aneesa. She got shit from every partner. And she and Fab were cute and had chemistry. I wish they'd stayed together.

But I also love season 2. Not only is that Ben/Devi stuff great, but there are so many emotionally resonant moments with Nalini and Devi, like Nalini calling Devi crazy, but then their resolution.

And Paxton is reeling from the loss of swimming. He doesn't know what to do. So first he coasts and uses Devi, but then he gets motivated to try (partially inspired by none other than Ben). It's a little rushed, sure, but it sets the stage for him doing well and applying to colleges in season 3.

Kamala's lab plot is a great device for demonstrating that chemistry (no pun intended) and similar interests (Jimmy Kimmel) aren't enough for Prashant and Kamala to have a healthy relationship. Good for Kamala for standing up for herself in the lab, and also for realizing that Prashant's advice was bad and wrong.

Nirmala gets introduced in this season! She's a compassionate parent for Nalini, though moving in together is not without its growing pains. And her involvement with Kamala's presumed engagement sets up their season 3 arc, probably the best plotline for both of them.

The Fabiola, Eve, and Sasha stuff is important. Not necessarily because of their relationship or the Cricket Queen stuff, but because Fabiola is learning what it is to be a lesbian. Sasha is very gatekeeping, thinks there's only one way for lesbians to be, and Fabiola doesn't fit that. (Maybe also Sasha is jealous? Has a crush on Eve?) And Fabiola tries to fit in, to be that lesbian, because she's new to being out and, in typical Fabiola fashion, wants to get it right. It's not until the last episode, her talk with Devi, Eleanor, and Jonah, that she realizes the way to be a lesbian is just to be herself. As Devi points out, all that's required to be a lesbian is liking women. And Eve is sweet, but does not defend Fabiola to Sasha enough. I think she definitely likes Fab a lot, but gets carried away with being Cricket Queens, and doesn't focus on Fab's feelings.

Eleanor...yeah, Malcolm is cartoonishly evil, but it's totally believable that a teenage girl will ignore her friends' advice for a celebrity crush. No, it's not mature, but I do like that it allows Eleanor to bond with Sharon, her sweet stepmom.

And I love Aneesa. She is in many ways what Devi wants to be: popular, yet also someone to make Indian moms proud. Hot, confident, coordinated...but also a fully rounded character. And she makes Devi confront herself at her worst. (But then, Devi gets development with Nalini when Nalini convinces Aneesa's mom not to make her change schools. It's a great Devi/Nalini moment.)

Oh, and why does Nalini do this? A talk with Chris, where he suggests just saying yes when your kid asks you for help. He's a good guy: he admires Nalini, but also won't take any shit (the client list stuff). They're colleagues, and while the timing isn't right, I think they were good for each other.

And Devi in therapy. The whole "you feel a lot, so you'll hurt a lot" session. I weep every time.

Overall, season 2 gets me emotional in ways season 4 doesn't. I liked the first and last episodes of season 4, and Devi's college admittance trials, and Fabiola's tension with Devi re: Princeton, where Devi realizes that Fab being scared to tell her about being accepted is a flaw in their friendship. But other than that...

I wish Paxton hadn't come back. That was such a dumb plot, a very 90s/early 2000s trope where no character ever leaves. If he was going to be in the season, I'd have preferred him not to be a teacher. That was just asinine. And it undoes the closure, the being a dream, the lack of stomach knots.

And then Devi and Nalini regressed to a season 1/2 relationship. All their progress in season 3, Nalini's utter smackdown of Rhyah in defense of Devi, and her reassurance that Devi is always enough, and never too much.

And Margot's dad. He's... there, I guess.

And Kamala has nothing to do. She did her big, "I'm a grownup, I'm moving out, I'm not doing an arranged marriage" plot in season 3, so in season 4 she's reduced to investigating Len and hiding under tables.

Basically, did season 4 make me cry? Maybe two tears. It just didn't hit as hard. I still enjoyed it, but it didn't hit me.

what do you think are the best and worst nhie seasons?

Hmm… IMO, the best is probably a tie between the third and fourth seasons. I love them for differenr reasons. The worst is by far season 2. Other than the stuff with Ben, almost nothing about that season worked. Devi’s motivations for acting, well, crazy, being explained very late into the season. Kamala’s cartoonish science plot. Nalini and what’s his face. Paxton’s tedious and underdeveloped crap, despite the screen time. Fabiola, Eve, and that annoying friend Sasha. Eleanor and Malcolm. God… at least the Ben stuff was really good.

[waitimcomingtoo]

I Got You, Babe ~ T.H

chapter seven: grand arrival

Series masterlist

“Tom, we have to go to the hospital.” You whined. “Why are you on the phone?”

“I’m calling everyone I know.” He told you. “What’s the number for 911?”

“We’re in Europe! It’s 999!”

“Right. Sorry.” He stared at the keypad for a minute as his thumbs danced over the numbers.

“It’s 999!” You shouted. “You just have to press the “9” three times!”

“I’M DISTRACTED OKAY?” He shouted back.

“Wait, what are you doing? Don’t call the police. We need to drive to the hospital.”

“How am I supposed to drive when I’m in a state like this? My emotions are all over the place.” Tom’s eyes welled up with tears and he fanned himself.

“A human child the size of a cantaloupe is trying to escape a part of my body that has never had anything bigger than a tampon inside of it-“

“I don’t mean to correct you at at time like this but-“

“Don’t.” You cut him off. “Just get in the car.”

You hastily packed your diaper bag as Tom made a few more phone calls. You met him out by the car and quickly got inside.

“Before we go, I just want to tell you how much I love-“

“DRIVE.” You said in a demon voice.

“And I’m gonna drive.” He gave you a thumbs up before pulling out of the driveway. He drove as fast as he could and was wheeling you through the hospital doors in a wheelchair in no time.

“We need help! My wife broke her water.” Tom announced as he wheeled you to the front desk.

“I’m not his wife.” You panted as you felt another contraction.

“Let’s not split hairs here.” Tom mumbled.

“You’re in labor?” A nurse asked you.

“I think so.” You said in a strained voice as another contraction tore through your body.

“I can take her from here.” The nurse said and took the handles of your wheelchair. Tom followed closely behind as you were wheeled into the maternity wing. From there, everything happened fast. You were given a hospital gown and put in to stirrups as the doctor checked you out.

“Congratulations guys.” The doctor smiled. “This baby is coming today.”

“What? No.” You shook your head. “That can’t be right. I’m only 34 weeks.”

“Don’t worry. Plenty of women deliver at 34 weeks.”

“I can’t give birth today. It’s way too early. She’s not ready.” You panted as you looked at Tom in fear.

“Your water broke. She’s ready.” The doctor assured you.

“What if I’m not ready?” You panicked. “What if I can’t do this?”

“You’ve been ready for this since the day you found out you were pregnant.” Tom assured you. “If anyone can do this, it’s you.”

You and Tom shared a fond smile before you felt another contraction. You grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly.

“Oh God.” You groaned. “It’s like that scene in Alien. It’s gonna rip me in half.”

“No she won’t.” Tom assured you before whispering to the doctor, “Can that happen?”

“Yes.” A nurse chimed in.

“All right. You’re 10 centimeters dilated so we’re gonna start pushing. Sound good?” The doctor asked you.

“Sounds good.” You said through clenched teeth.

“Here’s another contraction. Big push. You can do it.” The doctor encouraged you.

“Oh God.” You squeezed Tom’s hand harder and threw your head back.

“What does it feel like?” Tom wondered. “Does it hurt?”

“DOES IT HURT?!” The demon voice returned.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Tom mumbled.

“Do you want to watch down here, dad?” The doctor asked Tom.

“Yeah, sure. If that’s all right with you.” Tom looked to you.

“Are you sure? It might be kinda crazy down there. It sure feels pretty crazy.”

“Please. I think I can handle it.” Tom said as he walked over to the doctor. “I’m the one who got you pregnant in the first…”

“What happened? Why did he stop talking?” You asked when you heard Tom trail off.

“He passed out.” A nurse told you.

“What?” You shrieked. “Wake him up so I can kill him.”

A group of nurses bent down to revive Tom and you soon heard him get up.

“I’m awake.” He said and looked at what the doctor was doing. “Oh God. I’m going down again.”

“Get over here and hold my god damn hand.” You ordered as a nurse caught him.

“Yes my love.” He went back over to you and held your hand.

“Another contraction.” The doctor warned you. “Give us a big push.”

“UGH.” You gripped his hand until his knuckles were white.

“You look beautiful, darling. Mother Nature.” Tom said as he moved the sweaty hair from your forehead.

“SHUT THE HELL UP.” You screamed.

“Picture of beauty.” He continued. “Beauty and grace.”

“I’m gonna punch you in the goddamn face.” You warned as you pushed again.

“You are as radiant as the sun.” Tom smiled sweetly.

“Almost there, mama.” The doctor assured you. “Another push.”

“Oh God.” You whimpered. “It hurts so bad.”

“I know, love. I know.” Tom said as he stroked your face.

“Oh, you know?” You asked him. “You fucking know?”

“Maybe I should stop speaking.” Tom suggested.

“One more push, mama. You can do it.” The doctor called.

“I can’t.” You shook your head. “I can’t do it.”

“Hey. Look at me.” Tom turned your face to his. “You can do this. I know you can do this. Because it’s you. Has there ever been anything you couldn’t do?”

“One more push?” You asked him.

“One more push.” He nodded. “Five more minutes of pain for a lifetime of happiness.”

“Did you steal that from Jane the Virgin?” You asked between pants.

“Yes.” He admitted. “And it worked out perfectly.”

“I love your pop culture references. And I love you.” You smiled through your tears and leaned in to kiss him.

“I love you too.” He said once you pulled away. “I love you so much.”

“You did it, mama. Here’s your baby girl.” You heard suddenly and tore your attention away from Tom. When you looked up, you saw the doctor holding your baby up for you to see.

“She’s beautiful.” Tom gasped. “She looks just like you. Or, I think she’ll look like you when they wash all that gross stuff off of her. What is that anyway? Jelly?”

“I don’t hear any crying.” You realized. “Why isn’t she crying?”

The room was full of murmurs as your baby was brought over to a table.

“Tom? What’s going on?”

“I don’t know. I can’t see.” He said as he tried to look above the doctors.

“Can somebody tell me what’s going on?” You asked loudly. You waited a few more seconds in a total panic until you heard the sound of a baby crying.

“It just takes a minute sometimes. Your daughter is perfectly fine.” A nurse said as he brought your baby over. She had been cleaned off and wrapped in a blanket before being placed on your arms.

“Oh my God.” You let out a shaky breath. “Hi baby. Hi Haley.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m your dad.” Tom smiled as he shook Haley’s tiny hand.

“She’s so beautiful. Her hands are so small.” You laughed as she held on to Tom’s finger.

“They’re like little raviolis.” Tom sighed happily.

“So true. Look at your little baby ravioli hands.” You cooed. “I want to place the world into them.”

“She’s perfect. Look at what we made. That is a solid pile of baby right there.” Tom said as he looked at you proudly.

“I know. She’s incredible. We did a really good job.”

“You did great, darling. This was all you. I’m forever indebted to you for what you did. You should feel proud.” Tom said before kissing your forehead.

“I do. I do feel proud.” You admitted and snuggled Haley even closer. Tom pulled her blanket down a little to see her face and fell in love all over again.

“Do you want to hold her?” You asked him.

“Can I?” He asked hopefully.

“Of course. She’s your daughter.”

Tom nodded and wiped the tears from his face before taking Haley from you. He sat in the bed beside you and bounced her a little in his arms.

“Hi Haley. I’m your daddy.” Tom cooed. “I know we just met but you’re already the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m gonna give you everything I have. And if I don’t have it, I’ll go get it for you. Just ask. I’ll never say no.”

“You look really good with her. You’re a natural.” You said as you rested your chin on his shoulder.

“I feel like a natural.” He admitted. “I never want to put her down.”

“We have to take her away for just a little bit to do the Apgar test and give her a little check up. Then we’ll bring her right back.” A nurse said as she took Haley from Tom’s arms.

“Okay. I’ll miss you baby girl.” Tom waved sadly. “What’s the Apgar test?”

“It’s just a test to check her heart rate and see if she has any immediate medical needs.” You explained.

“Oh. Okay.” He nodded.

“Can you do me a favor?” You asked him.

“Anything, love.” He nodded. “Whatever you need.”

“Can you check if my vagina is still there?”

“I’m pretty sure it’s still there.” Tom laughed awkwardly. “Where else would it have gone?”

“Tom, I need you to check.” You said seriously. “Because I honestly don’t think it’s still there. I think it floated away like in that movie of yours I watched.”

“I’ll check.” He chuckled and went to the over side of the curtain. He looked for a long time but said nothing.

“Is it there?” You asked him. You watched his knees buckle before he collapsed to the floor.

“Damn it Tom!” You groaned. He woke up shortly after and Haley was brought back into the room. You and Tom spent some time with her before letting the rest of the family in. Two hours later, you had eaten and gotten moved to the post natal ward

“I already feel like she’s growing up too fast. And she’s not even a day old.” Tom said as he bounced Haley in his arms.

“I know.” You sighed. “I wish this day would last forever.”

“Before we let everybody meet her, I have a little present for you.” Tom said as he pulled something out of your diaper bag.

“A present? For what?” You wondered and took Haley from him.

“For giving up your body for nine months and pushing out our baby. It’s a little gift to say thank you.” He explained as he handed you a small black box.

“Aw, Tom.” You pouted. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to. Open it.”

You leaned in to kiss him before opening up the box. Inside was a dainty silver necklace with a circle shaped pendant.

“A necklace?”

“Yeah. There’s a little H on it. For Haley.” He said as he took it out of the box and held it up.

“It’s beautiful. And there’s a T on the back.” You realized.

“For Tom.” He said sheepishly. “So you can always have the two of us close to your heart.”

“I love it. Thank you.” You kissed him again and sat up so he could put the necklace on you. You looked down at it with a smile before squeezing his hand.

“Your family is here.” A nurse said as he popped into the room.

“Are you ready?” Tom asked you. “We can just do one person at a time so you don’t get overwhelmed.”

“I think I’ll be okay.” You shrugged. “How bad can it be?”

“All right. Come on in every body.” Tom called out. Harry, Sam, Paddy, and Harrison tripped over each other as the rushed into the room. Harrison slipped and fell onto the floor as Sam knocked into him but quickly got up.

“THERE SHE IS!” Harry pointed to the baby.

“AHHH!” Sam and Harrison hugged each other and jumped up and down.

“SHE’S SO CUTE.” Harry shrieked. “SHE LOOKS LIKE A BAKED POTATO.”

“Can I hold her? Please please please?” Harrison asked as he got down on his knees beside your bed.

“No. I want to go first.” Sam said and pushed Harrison to the side.

“Move. Fun Uncle Harry goes first.” Harry smiled wickedly as he squeezed between the two of them.

“Oh my God. He wore the suit.” You realized when you noticed Harry’s metallic purple suit. The same suit he wore to club Destiny on the night you met.

“I had to make a good impression. Didn’t I, baby girl?” Harry cooed as he held Haley in his arms.

“Harry. Please be careful with our grandchild.” Dom begged.

“Wow. Look at you. You’re beautiful. Almost as beautiful as your uncle Harry. But not quite. Welcome to the world.” Harry said in a soft voice.

“Wow.” Tom looked at you. “He’s actually doing a good job.”

“You should make her middle name begin with a “U” so her initials can be HUH.” Harry snickered.

“And there it is.” Tom nodded in defeat.

“Gentlemen. This is what we prepared for.” Harry said as he turned to the rest of the boys. Harrison nodded and held his phone above his head as Sam and Paddy got on their knees.

“NANTS INGONYAMA BAGITHI BABA.” Harry loudly sang the Lion King song as he held Haley in the air. Harrison played the song on his phone as Sam and Paddy bowed.

“What the hell?” You whispered as Harry continued to sing.

“Wow. They really had that prepared.” Tom mumbled.

“It’s the circle of life. It’s moves us all.” Harry sang as he moved Haley in a circle.

“Harry, give me back my daughter. I don’t want her first day in the world to be traumatizing.” Tom said as he took Haley from his arms. “I’m sorry about that Haley. I won’t let it happen again.”

“How do you feel?” Nikki asked as she sat beside your bed.

“I feel really good.” You answered honestly. “Thank you guys for coming.”

“We’re family.” Nikki laughed. “Of course we came.”

Tom’s family stayed for the next few hours, all taking turns holding the baby. As much as you loved having them all there, you couldn’t help but think about how your family wasn’t there. It hurt you, but you didn’t let it show. Tom’s family left after a few hours and you were alone once again.

“Hi. You two have some more visitors.” The nurse said as she knocked on your door.

“What?” You frowned. “Who else?”

“May we come in?” Your mom asked as she appeared with your father in the doorway.

“Mom? Dad?” You sat up in surprise. “What are you doing here?”

“Tom called us.” Your dad said, making you look at Tom in shock.

“He did?” You furrowed your eyebrows. “You did?”

“Yes. Every week for the past 3 months.” Your mom said as she pulled out her phone.

“I can be really annoying when I want to be.” Tom said sheepishly as he bounced Haley in his arms.

“Tom called us when your water broke.” Your father said. “He said we had a granddaughter on the way so he flew us out here.”

“And you came? I thought you were disappointed in me.”

“We were.” Your mom admitted. “But after Tom’s many, many phone calls, we realized we were wrong.”

“What did you say to them?” You asked Tom.

“Oh, you know.” He shrugged. “Not much.”

Your mom gave Tom a funny look as he went to her messages. She scrolled down a little and pressed on the first voicemail she got from Tom.

“Hey mother in law! It’s me. Tom.” His voice sounded from her phone. “Did I tell you my name when we met? I don’t remember. All I remember is yelling at you. Should I not have brought that up? I shouldn’t have brought that up.”

You chuckled a little as she clicked on another one.

“Hey Mrs. L/n. It’s Tom again. Y/n peed when she sneezed today. I don’t think it was because she’s pregnant. I’m starting to think she just does that.”

And another one.

“I am now going to describe the Y/n’s bakery menu is great detail.”

And another one.

“You would not believe how SEXY the cupcake of the week was this week. Y/n made this carrot cake cupcakes that made me bust a-“

Your mom quickly clicked to the next one for you to hear.

“Y/n broke up with me today. I’m still gonna give you a detailed ranking of her bakery items. Number one, double chocolate cupcake. Number two, chocolate croissant. Number three-“

She clicked to the next one and you realized just how many times he called.

“I just stubbed my toe real bad and Y/n is asleep so I’m calling you because with don’t have anyone else to tell.”

“Y/n fell down the stairs today. I pushed her! I’m kidding. She tripped. That was a bad joke. I’m sorry. I would never push your daughter. She’s okay.”

“I watched your daughter eat an entire jar of peanut butter today. I’m gonna marry that woman.”

“Good mythical morning. It’s Tom coming at you with the weekly baby forecast. The baby is 31 weeks today. In unrelated new, I ate 31 of Y/n’s mini cupcakes.”

And finally, the one from today.

“You guys should get down here as soon as you can. Y/n’s water just broke. It would mean a lot to her if you showed up. You’ve been pretty shitty parents thus far. Do the right thing for once in your life and show up.”

You reached up and rubbed Tom’s arm to silently thank him for what he had done. Your mom put her phone away and gave you an apologetic smile.

“I hope it’s all right that we came.” She said.

“Yeah.” You nodded. “It’s all right.”

“Can we hold her?” Your dad asked.

“Yeah. You can hold her.” You said and looked to Tom so he would give Haley to them. You suddenly felt your parents arms wrap around you. They hugged you tightly and you heard your father sniffle.

“We missed you.” He said as he rubbed your back. You looked at Tom and silently asked him what to do, and he gave you a gentle nod. Your eyes welled up with tears as you hugged your parents back.

“I missed you too.”

They stayed for a little while and caught up with you until visiting hours ended. They promised to stop by to see your house once you brought Haley home, and you actually found yourself looking forward to it. Tom climbed into your hospital bed that night and laid beside you as Haley slept on your chest.

“The doctor said they want to keep you overnight but we can go home tomorrow afternoon.” Tom told you as he stroked Haley’s head.

“I can’t believe she’s here.” You sighed happily. “We get to take her home tomorrow. Then we get to start the rest of our lives.”

“I can’t wait.” Tom smiled. “It’s not just gonna be the two of us anymore. We’re parents now. She’s gonna rely on us for everything.”

“I know.” You said and rocked Haley. “Let’s get some sleep now, then. We won’t be getting any for a while.”

“Sounds good to me, love.” Tom replied and cuddled into your side. “Good night, my girls.”

“Goodnight, my boy.” You kissed his cheek and soon, the three of you fell asleep.

Tag list 🏷

@sarbear94​ @levanamareriddle​ @gwenstcay​ @angie1djonasgg​ @white-wolf1940​ @whore4thor-odinson​ @spideyywife​ @yeswhatever33​ @blankspaceblankday​ @amnaabedi​ @elizabethraymond​ @daydreamingchaos713​ @eatshitanddie-​ @tothemoonandbackx3000​ @prancerrparkerr​ @sunshinehollandd​ @scenesofobx​ @wandamaximoffbae​ @qardasngan​ @sebbybucky12​ @quinnjackluke​ @simplyparker​ @supernatural3002​ @wondergal2001​

[egcdeath]

checkmate

summary: you’ve always refused to lose, and love was no exception. (gone girl-ish au)

pairing(s): ransom drysdale x dark!reader, a special mystery guest ;) 

word count: 3.7k

warnings: 18+ because of heavy themes! faked death, framing of crimes, manipulation, alluding to sex, alluding to cheating, terrible relationship dynamic, very loose usage of the word crazy/psychotic, implied mention of self harm, brief choking & slapping (in a non sexual way lol), pregnancy trapping (idk if thats the right term), the reader is a very bad human being, overuse of italics  *please let me know if i’m missing any warnings!

author’s note: this is my 2nd submission for @stargazingfangirl18’s 5k soft dark challenge, i decided to make the reader dark >:) but ransom is also not a good person. I used these prompts: “I’ve waited a long time for this, sweetheart.” & The town golden *girl isn’t as sweet as everyone thinks.

this is definitely the most unhinged thing i’ve ever written, but blame @literate-lamb for making me write this because when i pitched this to her and said that i’d probably never write it, she enabled me. 

okay that's enough from me. join my taglist if you want :D

“I know women whose entire personas are woven from a benign mediocrity. Their lives are a list of shortcomings: the unappreciative boyfriend, the extra ten pounds, the dismissive boss, the conniving sister, the straying husband. I've always hovered above their stories, nodding in sympathy and thinking how foolish they are, these women, to let these things happen, how undisciplined. And now to be one of them! One of the women with the endless stories that make people nod sympathetically and think: Poor dumb bitch.” Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl

Your whole life, you’d considered yourself a competitive person. Constantly overcompensating for one thing or another, whether it was the chronic desire to achieve perfection that had been installed in you since you were a little girl, or your persistent internalized sense of inadequacy. You realized early on that it was much better for you to win than for you to lose, no matter the physical, emotional, or mental cost of the prize of perfection.

For the most part, this mindset worked out for you. You graduated as Valedictorian from your high school, neared the top of your graduating class at Harvard. God knew you earned it, all those tears you shed into overpriced textbooks, all the popping of unprescribed Adderall, and robbing yourself of the parties and social events that the rest of your peers gladly indulged in. 

You were just different, which was why you gained a job nearly immediately after your exit from school, quickly climbing to the top at the Blood Like Wine publishing company after only a few years of being there. 

And one night, at the party celebrating the release of A Thousand Knives when you laid your eyes on Hugh Ransom Drysdale, the grandson of your boss, you knew that you needed to have him. Rich, hot, a bit of an asshole. You deserved to finally complete your image, and that socialite flavored eye candy seemed to fit the part perfectly. Luckily for you, he was desperate. It only took a few tugs on your dress’ V-line, and a number of knowing smirks to find yourself being finger-banged in his family manor’s bathroom.

From there, you wormed your way into his life. Leaving belongings at his place as an excuse to come back, and offering booty calls in the middle of the night. Ransom must’ve been much more desperate than you originally thought, as it really only seemed to take one night of stroking his hair while he vented about his family to make him want to be with you. Men with mommy issues were always so easy. 

Except, he wasn’t that easy. The longer you got to know Ransom, the more fucked up you realized he really was. He had no boundaries at all, became jealous and enraged at the drop of a pin, and occasionally told you things that made the hairs on your arms rise. 

This of course all came to a head after the night of Harlan’s 85th birthday party. When the news broke of his tragic death, you’d immediately known it was the works of your Hugh. If your intuition wasn’t enough, his confession in the shower, where he’d demanded you take off your clothes to display that you were without a bug, certainly was. 

You were completely devastated. The man that you’d invested so much into for years had thrown both his and your reputations down the drain in just a matter of hours. Of course, you felt bad for Harlan too. He was a good guy (when he wasn’t instigating a family fight).

Still, you showed up during the funeral in your best mourning clothes and dawning your biggest crocodile tears. You rubbed Linda’s back while she mourned the loss of her father, and the new truth about her husband. You played dumb when interrogated by some Southern private investigator, even giving Ransom an airtight alibi. You testified on his behalf in court with enough conviction to grant you an Emmy. 

You’d gotten so far, devoted so much energy into him, that you simply refused to lose now. 

To your friends, you’d seemed to lead a near perfect life. Dream job, dreamy boyfriend, dream bank account, but it wasn’t enough. You wanted more, you just didn’t know what. 

It dawned on you while sipping mimosas at the country club, Ransom playing tennis with his friends just a few yards away from you while Danielle showed off her brand new engagement ring, a .59 Carat Asscher Diamond, that if you heard her speak of again, would probably make you lose your shit.

You zoned out as she droned on and on about the shape, and how Matt proposed to her in their own private room in one of the most exclusive Parisian restaurants, instead focusing on how you could find yourself in the same position as that airhead next to you. In all honesty, you couldn’t stand the idea that someone was doing better than you, let alone someone in your own social circle. Dani got all the bragging rights of being engaged to the heir of some tech giant, being the first in your friend group to get eloped, and worst of all, Matt wasn’t even making her sign a prenup. 

You blankly watched Ransom from afar, taking occasional sips from your sweet drink, while you thought of how you deserved all of that and more, and you were going to get it one way or another. 

——

It didn’t take much to come up with something, your first and most obvious plan being to simply ask Ransom when he was going to propose to you. Of course, this wasn’t the first time you’d tried to approach him about this subject, you just wondered if maybe this time things would be different.

Panting heavily after a rather rough night in bed, you rolled off of your boyfriend’s chest and gave him a messy, yet sincere kiss. You knew your man well, and if there was any time to pop the question, it was in his post-nut haze.

“Baby,” you said breathily, “I wanna ask you something.”

“Shoot,” he responded casually, glancing over at you. 

“When’re you gonna propose to me?” you hummed.

Ransom groaned and shook his head, rolling his eyes, “this is about Matt and Dani, huh?” he tutted, then extended a hand out to your warm cheeks so he could gently caress one with his thumb. “Thought we agreed marriage is just a piece of paper and it’s stupid.”

You huffed in response.

Of fucking course.

“I never said that,” you muttered, setting a hand on his broad chest. “Besides, it’ll be good if you get pissed and decide to like, kill your dad or something. Y’know, spouses don’t have to testify against each other in court.”

Ransom chuckled as if this whole thing was funny, like your feelings were some kind of sick joke to him. “You know my lawyers, babe. They could prove that bees don’t make honey. That bears don’t shit in the forest. I appreciate your attempt, though. This has been some really nice pillow talk.” 

“Whatever,” you muttered, pinching his nipple in retaliation before turning your back to him and yanking the blanket onto your side. 

You weren’t sure why you were so surprised that he was being stubborn, most of the time you felt like you were pulling teeth from the man. But that’s why you had a backup plan! You always had a backup plan. That’s what separated you from your boyfriend. Where Ransom was extemporized and impulsive, you were calculating and prudent. 

Although you devised your plan that very afternoon while watching your partner backhand small green balls, you were going to need some time to get everything in order, to prove Murphy and his stupid law wrong in making sure that everything that could go wrong wouldn’t. 

After all, love was a game. And you sure as hell weren’t losing to Hugh Drysdale. 

——

You sacrificed too much to have your plans ruined by some trust fund baby with impulsivity issues. You deserved your dream marriage, the stability you wished you had as a child. You wanted the white picket fence, and everything that came along with it. Your desire to be the best, to be perfect was what drove you to poke holes in every condom in the box, what led you to draw liters of your own blood in hopes of staging a fake crime scene, to buy a cheap getaway car and burner phone off of Craigslist, and reach out to a high school boyfriend who you knew was in a position as desperate as you. 

You planted seeds of doubt in your friends throughout the following weeks, feeding them lies about Ransom’s behavior, how you were afraid of telling him that you did in fact see two faint red lines on that damn plastic stick– only half of the statement truly being false–, telling them that he was behaving erratically lately.

It all was going without a hitch. Ransom didn’t seem to notice anything was off, despite your frequent visits to the bathroom and newfound affinity for true crime documentaries. 

You almost felt guilty, knowing the world of pain you were about to throw the man into. Granted, he deserved the pain. You were in a relationship with a genuinely terrible person, and that person had made a conscious effort not to commit to you. You tried to make this easy for him, give him a chance to say a few words to you and slide a ring on your finger, but no, he always seemed to take the hard route.

You slept like a baby the night before you were setting your plan in action. You made sure to uphold the facade of everything being fine, making Ransom a nice breakfast before sending him halfway across town to the hardware store with an oddly incriminating list.

Once he was out of the house, you hurried off to the fridge in the garage where you’d been keeping a small stash of your own blood. It wasn’t pretty, but it had to be done. You poured the blood throughout the kitchen, splattering bits of it on the counters and cupboards. You poorly cleaned the mess, just as he would.

You put your next move in motion, falsifying a home invasion. You tossed over a table and some chairs, throwing books and photos onto the floor, but left some aspects slightly untouched, like an upright picture frame to give yet another hint that things were not exactly what they appeared. 

You left a tiny blue post-it note on the nightstand of Ransom’s side of the bed, a quick and simple doodle of a ring along with the first initial of your name inked onto the tiny piece of paper. 

With that, you were off. Technically missing, soon-to-be presumed dead.

----

 The days following your disappearance had gone even better than you’d initially planned. Local news coverage had been all over you, search and rescue groups were assiduously looking for you, your parents had opened a tip line, and begged for you to get home safe on news segments. But the best part of it all was that Ransom had been briefly found himself in police custody, only to be released shortly thereafter. His past of an accused murder quickly made your disappearance even more of a national story, and you watched the whole thing unravel from the safety and comfort of your high school boyfriend, Andy Barber’s Newton home. 

Of course, you fed him the same lies you’d given to your friends, and seeing the rather lonely position he was in, he gladly let you stay with him. You were absolutely having a hay-day with it all, dedicating hours of your day to watching Ransom slowly unravel. Maybe it was a bit sadistic of you to enjoy torturing your partner so much, but he needed to learn his lesson. You deserved better. You needed Ransom to rise up to your level, allowing you to finally complete your image. To let you two appear to be the perfect couple. Really, this was all on him.

Andy, for the most part, had been a good host. He was gone for the majority of the day, dedicating himself to his work while you lounged around on his dangerously cozy couch. Around two weeks into your stay, you were sharing a box of pizza in the living room with your old lover when something interesting on the television caught your eye.

Ransom, broadcasted on CBS, being interviewed on your disappearance. 

You watched with wide eyes as Ransom begged for your return on national television. It was one thing seeing your mother plead for you to come back, the same woman who had installed such toxic behavior in you sob for your return, but Ransom. You’d never loved him more than in that moment.

“Hugh, if you could tell Y/N one thing, what would it be?” the interviewer asked.

Ransom turned, looking straight at the camera, directly into your soul, “Y/N, I love you so much. More than you’ll ever know. I need you to come back safely, to see you, to hold you again. I’d give anything in the world for that right now,” he looked down, a tear falling down his cheek. “I can’t live without you in my life, I-”

His sentence was cut off by Andy grabbing the remote, and turning off the TV. You turned your head and frowned deeply at him.

“Why’d you do that?” you asked with a bit of a pout.

“I just couldn’t stand listening to him talk about you like he hasn’t treated you like shit for the past few years. C’mon, let’s get ready for bed.”

Your blood boiled. Andy was once a means to an end, but now he was interfering. He was clearly much too selfish to see that you and Ransom were quite obviously soulmates. A match made in hell. 

You followed him to bed regardless, curling up on what had been your side of the bed for the past few days, and staring at the wall until Andy’s breaths moved from a soft and rhythmic pattern to loud snores. God, those snores were obnoxious. 

You slipped out of bed and to his dresser, grabbing two soft ties from the drawer, and daintily tying his wrists to each side of the bedpost.

“What‘re you doing?” he mumbled, instinctively yanking both of his wrists as he awoke.

“I’m going back home,” you whispered.

“You can’t be serious,” Andy huffed, tugging on the restraint attached to the headboard.

You shook your head, “I am.”

“I should’ve known. Why would you do something like this? Do you know how much trouble you’ll be in with the law?”

“Do you know how much trouble you’ll be in when the world finds out that you kidnapped me?” you retorted.

This threat seemed to wake him up right away, “what about this was kidnapping? I gave you a nice home, fed you, I didn’t even make a pass at you. I didn’t do shit to you,” he hissed. “You think I can’t prove that? I’m a lawyer, for god's sake!”

You nearly laughed, “Okay, Andy,” you paused for a moment, “As a lawyer, who do you think everyone’ll believe? Someone who the world was on a wild goose chase for in the last two weeks? Or the man with a family history of violence? Must I remind you that your father and your son have killed people?”

Andy shook his head, face pinched in sorrow at the mention of his deceased son, clearly a low blow. “You’re insane,” he muttered.

“Swear to god that you won’t tell a soul what happened here,” you leaned over him, getting right in his face. “Or I promise, Andrew Barber, I will ruin you. You’ll spend the rest of your life behind bars, or disbarred, or whatever the hell I decide to do with you. So keep your goddamn lips shut.” 

You pulled away and he solemnly nodded, not bothering to put up a fight. You loosened the fabric around his left wrist and walked out of the room. You picked up the keys to Andy’s Audi on your way out, checking the time as you adjusted the driver's seat. 

9:45 PM. Fatherhood really changed the man.

You pushed that thought aside and began your drive home, which turned out to be a surprisingly short trip. When you pulled up in front of your home, you were met with a slew of reporters outside of the house, along with a police car that seemed to be permanently camped there.

As you slowly got out of the car, a gasp, followed by a loud silence fell across the crowd. You limped for dramatic effect up the driveway as cameras followed you, and glanced back at them pathetically. From your peripheral view, you noticed the officers get out of their vehicle.

You finally got to your door, ringing the doorbell and waiting. You blinked harshly a few times, conjuring up the tears you needed to really make a spectacle of the event. After a few minutes, Ransom opened the door, eyes widening as he looked at you. He stepped out, and you wrapped him in as big of a hug as you could manage, genuinely missing his embrace. It was possible that you even let out a few real tears in the moment.

Your emotional embrace was interrupted by the man you recognized as Lieutenant Elliott, the same officer who’d been assigned to Harlan’s case. 

“Ma’am,” he began, only to be shut down by you. 

“Please, just let me be with my boyfriend,” you pleaded, crocodile tears streaming down your face as you spoke with the officer. You still needed time to get your story straight.

“Just give us the night, Lieutenant. We’ll come in first thing tomorrow morning,” Ransom added, furrowing his brows at the officer that he’d come into contact with far too many times. 

He looked to his partner, who shrugged, then to you, “enjoy your night.”

Cameras flashed around you as civilians, journalists, and newscasters alike attempted to catch your attention. You grabbed Ransom’s hand and dramatically pulled him inside, insincerely attempting to hide your face by ducking and covering half of your face with your arm. 

As soon as you were in the privacy of your own home, Ransom threw you against a wall. 

“Why. The fuck. Would you pull a stunt like that,” he hissed through gritted teeth, eyes wild, and a hand around your throat. 

You whimpered as he tightened his grip, rage clearly flowing through his system uncontrollably.

“Do you know what you did to me? You almost had me thrown in fucking jail. Do you understand that?”

You nodded weakly, “Ran,” you whispered, “the baby,” you glanced down at your stomach.

He paused, dropping his grip on your neck and staring at you in awe, “no…” 

You nodded again. 

“How…? You told me you were on the pill… You- you made me use protection…”

“Surprise?” you said weakly. 

“You’re a psychotic bitch.”

“I’m your psychotic bitch. And no child of mine will be born out of wedlock,” you taunted. 

“That’s what this is about?” Ransom laughed manically. “You did this all because I won’t fucking marry you?”

You didn’t even have to respond.

“I should send you to the loony bin right fucking now.”

“What happened to all those things you said to me on TV?”

“You’re fucking delusional. I can’t do this.”

“Yes, you can. And you will. I’ve had to put up with you and your stupid little antics for way too long. How do you think I felt when you killed your own grandfather?”

Ransom scoffed, throwing his hands up in exasperation, “you are so fucked up.”

“I’m the fucked up one? You killed your own blood in cold blood! You’re unhinged!” 

“You faked your own death for attention, and got pregnant while doing it! Is that baby even mine?”

“The fuck are you trying to say, Hugh?”

“I asked if it’s even mine.”

“Really. You’re accusing me of cheating on you. That’s rich considering Mia, Layla, and whoever the fuck else. You’re being ridiculous.”

“I’m being ridiculous? You couldn’t have a normal adult conversation with me!”

“Are you kidding me? I asked you time after time to marry me and it was always some bullshit excuse!” you wagged a finger in his face as you spoke. “Oh, commitment scares me, oh, marriage is just a piece of paper, oh-“ you mocked his voice in a deeper tone before you were cut off by the sting of his hand against your cheek.

“Can you shut the hell up?” he growled at you as you held your own cheek, before you reached out and slapped him back, “I can’t believe that I’m stuck with such a deranged bitch for the rest of my life.”

“Maybe work on your vows a little, dear. I don’t think that those words are as charming to me as they’d be to the rest of our family and friends.”

“You can’t be serious,” he groaned.

“But I am,” you hummed, rubbing your cheek softly once again. “Look at how fast your life fell apart without me here. How quickly the public turned on you. Imagine how upset they’d be if you left me. I love you, Ran. I really do. You and I are perfect for each other, can’t you see that now?”

Ransom took a step away from you, pacing slowly in front of you. He ran a stressed hand through his hair, and took a long and drawn out breath, clearly at a loss for words.

“So when should we have the wedding? I’ve always wanted a Spring wedding, and I know it’s a little short notice, but I don’t want to be showing too much in my wedding dress,” you grabbed Ransom’s bicep gently, as if you were just having a regular old day with him, as if you hadn’t been choked and slapped moments ago. “But we can make it work. We always make it work, right?”

Your now fiancé stared vacantly at the wall ahead of him, giving you a slow, empty nod of agreement. 

“It’s settled then,” you smirked. “I’ll start looking at venues. You find me a nice ring, okay Honey? One that puts all those other bitches’ rings to shame,” you sighed pleasantly to yourself, “I’ve waited a long time for this, sweetheart.”

You pressed a soft kiss to his cheek before hurrying up the stairs and into your bedroom. You heard a distant shriek of  “fuck,” from Ransom, but you truly could not care less. 

You hopped into bed, grabbing your laptop from its charger and promptly opening it. You couldn’t help but to smile at your own reflection on the empty black screen. This wasn’t how you imagined your engagement, but you did the impossible. You tied yourself down to Hugh Ransom Drysdale, he went down kicking in screaming, and you were likely in for a lifetime of cheating and resentment, but you did it nonetheless. 

You finally won.  

[mythiccheroacademia]

Delivery HCs with 1-A’s Big Three

A/N: Maybe I’m a bit biased because I want to be a pediatrician when I’m older, but I think children are the true gems of the world. I’ve seen a few deliveries in my life, and it’s a moment that not even magic can explain. I can only imagine what it’s like for the parents--to see the baby you’d start a war for if need be. So, here’s my attempt to translate that special love within a headcanon. 

Enjoy and continue to stay safe honey bunnies

Also, remember to thank a (good) mother for being literal superheroes once in awhile. Delivering is no joke!

Warnings: all the wonderful things that come with pushing a baby out of a 3-4in hole

All characters are aged 18+

Midoryia Izuku:

when you and your husband got to the hospital, the nurses were suprised to find you laughing and your husband muttering 

they soon came to find out he was reciting how to books about delivery

word-for-word

the buff, muscley, #1 hero who scared villains into a crime rate of 2% was wiggling his knees in fear every time you had a contraction

he was running around, calling his friends and family about how he was going to combust

asked you every five minutes if you were ready to push 

“izu, honey, i don’t think it works like that”

“true....but are you ready?”

it was funny

but it stopped being funny after 14 hours of labor, when the contractions got really bad

now you were just snapping at izuku to quiet down otherwise you’d united states smash his face in

him: 😧

the nurses: 👀

he knows you’re in pain but damn 

it’s a relief when you get the epidural 

after that, it was a relatively smooth birth 

it still hurt like hell, but your husband is holding your hand, giving you encouraging kisses

one final push and the baby is out

immediately, the little boy is screaming his head off making his presence known

you let your head fall back with a relieved sigh as your body works to get the placenta out

whiles you do tiny pushes, izuku is in a love-struck daze as he stares at your son

it’s like he has tunnel vision

suddenly, nothing in his life was ever more important than this tiny little human who couldn’t weigh more than his left hand

the nurses hand you your son and you laugh through your happy tears

“it looks like i’ve got two cry-babies to deal with now” you lovingly smile

izuku is on his knees, sobbing, kissing your forehead and rubbing his finger against his child’s cheek

he’s so thankful

he’s so very thankful, he doesn’t even know how to comprehend it

you’re the best hero in his eyes

“he’s so beautiful” he repeats, like a broken record

there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for you or his son

he silently makes an oath to do everything in his power to see his family smile with security every day

izuku feels like he finally knows what being #1 truly is

Bakugo Katsuki:

pregnancy wasn’t easy for you 

having twins wasn’t rare, but it made the process riskier

giving birth is still quite dangerous, like women are superheroes bruh

due to forseen complications, you were scheduled for a c-section 

unfortunately, you’re blood pressure sky-rocketed and you had to deliver your babies two weeks early

on the way to the hospital, your contractions were tearing you apart

during each shake and scream you gave, katsuki would hold your shoulder and let you dig your nails into his arms

he took it without complaint

it was like you were a different person when a contraction hit

you never complained about the pain, but he could tell you wanted it to end with how your head would fall like dead weight

never admits to the few tears that slipped past his cheeks

he never wanted to see you like this again 

when you make it to the hospital, they wheel you into the surgery room and he follows after

is relieved to see that you can no longer feel the contractions

in fact, even with all the IVs in you, you seem a lot better--more alert

he makes his way over to you 

“sorry for the car ride. i think i drooled. i probably looked gross. still do” you joke

he speaks in the softest voice you’ve ever heard, kiss your dry lips

“no baby, you look beauitful” 

and he means it

you do. you’re the most beautiful woman he knows

you feel a lot of pressure as they take the babies out, but once they do, the sounds of your children make you tear up

bakugo is frozen as he watches his babies, one boy one girl, get cleaned up

there’s a softness in the air as the nurses lay the boy on your chest and the girl in katsuki’s arms

your heart explodes with so much love that the heart monitor does a little jump that makes everyone laugh

but katsuki makes a pained expression before lowering himself so that his forehead rests beside your ear

he can’t tell what he’s feeling bc he’s felt love before but this was different

this was so overwhelming that it sent his knees buckling

you use your free hand to smooth down his hair as he cries 

“thank you” is all he’s able to say until the tears are gone

Todoroki Shouto:

when shouto looks back on one of the happiest days of his life, all he feels is shame and embarrassment 

he was just doing everything wrong that day

no thoughts, head empty

of course you had to go into labor the day he decided to take a tiny job 30 fucking minutes away from the hospital 

he made it to you in 20, he broke several laws to do it

when he gets to the hosptial, he can barely talk 

the nurses had to call you to make sure this crazy man was actually the father of your child

misses the baby floor twice

walks into the wrong room three times bc he forgot how to read

when he finally makes it to your room, he’s fed up with himself 

“what took you so long? the front desk called me, like, ten minutes ago”

“i don’t wanna talk about it”

“are you having an attitude with me right now? when i’m about to deliver your child?”

shouto: ☹️

shutting up was the smartest thing he did that day

when the 15th hour of labor hit and you were gripping your husband, screaming and rocking on your knees for any type of relief, todoroki was nearly begging you to take the drugs 

“sweetheart, please consider the epidural”

“no, shouto. i’m doing this without one”

“why do you want to suffer when technology and modern medicine--”

“todoroki shouto, you give me one more lesson about modern medicine and i’ll rip your quirk right out of you”

“i dont think that’s--”

the nurse finally chimes in: “sir, i mean this in the nicest way possible. shut up”

after 24 grueling hours, you’re pushing

it’s taking everything within shouto not to pass out from the blood, the screaming, and how tight you’re squeezing his hand 

the baby is out and crying her little head off

you’re happy it’s all over and shouto should be too

but he’s going over the past 48hrs and letting it confirm how he’s just not set up to be a father 

he’s almost grateful that you would hold her first bc he doesnt want to screw up more than he already has, but you have a different idea

understanding the emotions and self-doubt reflected on his face, you say 

“shouto, i want you to hold her first”

he’s shocked and starts his stuttering, but the nurse is already on it

“you heard mama, open your arms big guy”

once the nurse helps him find a good hold, todoroki doesnt even notice the tears falling down his cheeks

“look at you,” you sniff. “you’re a natural”

his eyes are wide with child-like wonder and he manages to give you a trembling smile 

“you think so?” you nod and he’s smiling so big, you wanna take a picture. “she’s so beautiful, just like her mother”

he leans down to kiss you 

wonders what he did in his past life to deserve the love he was given the chance to feel today

[xhisokas-harleyx]

okay but imagine hisoka and fem!reader going for an undercover mission, in a ball (well this gives me an excuse for hisoka in a suit with his hair down looking kinda normal yk aaaaa) and he and reader are waltzing across the ballroom, with the mutual pining, the flirting back and forth, constantly one upping each other without making it too crudely sexual while maintaining eye contact no matter what (bonus points if reader doesnt get flustered outwardly) <333

I’m sorry this took so long! Vacation and a few other things happened. I took a little creative liberty with this one I think... Hope you enjoy! 😊

Part 2 is out, link at the bottom :)

I’m getting to the other requests soon!

Song Inspiration: Fire on Fire; Sam Smith

Word Count: 2700

Hisoka x Fem Reader: Fire x Fire

You sigh as you look up at the clock that acts as a guardian for the entry hall you are sitting in. As of now, you’ve been waiting for Hisoka to enter the room for about 45 minutes. You have finished your hair, your makeup, and dressed accordingly, which took a decent amount of time- however, your male counterpart for the evening is still not ready.

“Hisoka… how much longer?!” You call to the upstairs bathroom, and you sigh melodramatically. You’d have thought he was ditching you if it wasn’t in fact a mission that HE himself had invited you to. “We’re going to be late, and that will attract attention!” You groan.

“Speaking of attracting attention…” A smooth, low voice coos from behind you, and you jolt up from your seat on the bottom of the stairs and wheel around. “…You call that undercover?” He says, as his tongue flashes across his bottom lip, a sinful gaze in his golden irises.

~Because I, for one, can’t keep my eyes off of you.~ He refrains from saying that last part.

There Hisoka stands, with a raised eyebrow, admiring you with a smirk as he plays with one of his cufflinks. His pink hair is down, covering his eyes only slightly, but not enough that you can’t see the hungry look in his golden irises. He doesn’t have any makeup on, and he is wearing a clean white suit with a tie and napkin that matches the color of your dress.

Quickly, you close your mouth, fighting to regain your composure and not allow him to see your reaction to his appearance. This mission was going to be hard enough without him distracting you throughout…

Little do you know, Hisoka is currently appraising your appearance as he strolls slowly down the stairs. Your sleek (f/c) dress hugs your curves perfectly, covered in sequins that catch the light of the chandelier at random intervals. Both of your outfits are a bit flamboyant- but honestly, could you expect any less from this efficient duo?

“It’s all about catching them off guard, hiding in plain sight.” You say to him, tipping your chin upward and placing a hand confidently on your hip. “The more attention we attract, the better chance we have of fooling those around us and identifying our target early.” You smirk as you meet his witty remark with your own explanation.

Hisoka lets out a small chuckle before he opens the door for you. “You know as well as I that that logic makes no sense.” He points out with a coy smile.

“Sounds good though, doesn’t it?” You retort, walking past him without so much as a glance.

“As does everything that comes from your lips.” He says it in a deep and yearning tone that catches you by surprise, even for Hisoka.

You fight the urge to tense up- this party hasn’t even begun yet, and Hisoka is already trying to get under your skin as you’d suspected he might. Luckily, you know exactly how to bat him off.

“Hurry up.” You order, completely ignoring him; it was phase one of your plan. Much to your chagrin, this pursuit only excites Hisoka, his eyes twinkling as he watches you get into the limo that will take you to the party.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On your way to the ball, Hisoka watches you silently as you look out the window, the stars flying by as you speed to the event. You don’t even notice, until you feel that familiar bloodlust rising from his direction.

“You’re going to have to control- that – if we are going to stay undercover. We don’t know how many Nen users are going to be here.” You say nonchalantly, looking to him.

In the low light, Hisoka doesn’t speak at first, almost as if you’ve caught him looking when you weren’t supposed to. He notices how well your makeup is done- and how much care you have taken in styling your hair tonight. He loves those golden earrings you are wearing and makes a note to steal them from you later.

You notice his silence. “Hey, Hisok-“

“We are almost there, madam.” The driver tells you, interrupting your snapping to bring the pink haired man’s attention back to you… even though it hasn’t left you he saw you sitting on those stairs.

You thank the man, and you take this opportunity to affix your knife under your dress, rolling the long fabric up to your thigh and strapping it around your leg. You know exactly what this will do to Hisoka; and yet, you do it anyway, deciding to fight fire with fire.

Hisoka’s eyes widen under his bangs, and he stifles a soft moan. He does his best to look away, knowing that, despite this game you two play… he must control himself around you. Because, somewhere deep inside, he is amazed that you even agreed to come with him tonight, and he doesn’t want to scare you off.

Luckily, you are very determined to stay unabashed.

Still, his bloodlust peaks at the sight, and you use this as an opportunity to order him again.

“Nen off. Now.” You demand, dropping your skirt back to its normal position and flashing him a side glance as the limo stops.

“Oh, is that an order?” He questions, kicking an eyebrow and biting the inside of his lip, fully expecting to trip you up. He just can’t help himself. He can’t resist the urge to play this game with you, and is so impressed with the fact that you willingly (and expertly) play it too.

“Absolutely.” You reply without missing a beat. His eyes focus on you, unsure how to take your hot and cold attitude, and your apparent disinterest in his flirtation. Still, he obeys, and clears his throat, exiting the limo and moving to your side to open the door for you.

You get out gracefully, refusing the hand he is holding out to you, which both infuriates and encourages him.

“The target is an older Nen user with blue hair. Rich guy. Tons of ladies. Right?” You whisper to Hisoka, trying to confirm the details so you can begin to scout for your victim. “Conjurer?”

Hisoka doesn’t answer you for a moment, and instead, seems distracted before coming back to his senses.

“Hm? Oh, yes. Conjurer. Those women he hangs with are replicas of the prostitutes he’s said to have murdered. Perhaps talking to them could be our key to finding him.” You weren’t questioning how he knew all of this, but glance at him.

“So you’re going to use this as a speed dating service.” You state, rolling your eyes, though your comment is meant to be more funny than mean. Hisoka, however, looks to you with a confused expression.

“You wound me!” He chuckles in response, dramatically clutching his chest, but taking great care not to reveal the actual hurt underneath. Is that what you saw him as?

There is an awkward silence between the two of you, but as you walk into the entryway of the mansion, you put on your acting expressions and begin to scout out the crowd. There are hundreds of people, live music, drinks, and conversations happening all over the large abode, and in an instant, you feel a bit overwhelmed.

“We should split up.” You suggest. Not that you wanted to leave his side, but wouldn’t it be easier to find the target this way?

Unbeknownst to you, your suggestion slightly upsets Hisoka. He had hoped you would stay together, but he doesn’t protest; he nods, and you two go your separate ways. However, you find yourself glancing in his direction as he slips through the crowd, a pang of guilt stabbing your heart.

~~~~~~~~~

An hour or so later, you have still had no luck locating this bastard, and have decided to stop at the bar for a drink. You know that you’re supposed to be working, but how can you relax at all without a break? You order a drink from the bartender, and promptly begin to down it, leaning on the bar and analyzing the crowd. You can’t help but think of Hisoka, and how handsome he looked in his proper outfit which was so different than what you normally saw him in.

Often, you wondered if his flirtation was just that and nothing else; or whether there could be a chance that he feels morefor you. There were times when he could be so caring toward you… but he did have the tendency to be fickle and dishonest with his emotions.

As much as you hated to admit it… you felt morefor him. He wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea, you liked that about him. You had the ability to see through his apathetic exterior to the human underneath. You didn’t know whether that made you a hopeless romantic, or just plain crazy.

Suddenly, you see a flash of pink hair in the far distance, breaking your fantasy. It is Hisoka, shining like a diamond just next to the dance floor. A wave of relief washes over you briefly, and you set down your drink to make your way toward him, quicker than you’d imagined.

However, the sight you see there before you made your stomach flip, and you question the flirtation you’d just fantasized about. Through the crowd of people, you can see Hisoka talking to a bunch of nicely dressed ladies, a drink perched in his hand like he was some aristocrat. They seem to be laughing at just about everything he said, and one of them has the audacity to playfully touch his lapel, which set you off.

Now you were disobeying your own advice as your bloodlust piqued. Your fists clench and you begin to trudge toward the large magician, who doesn’t seem to notice your presence. That could not be more false, however, and he smirks to himself as he feels your approach, parting the crowd and traversing the ballroom dance floor.

Your high heels, however, have another idea: to ruin your night.

Your heel twists, and you trip over your own feet, a few people gasping as your body flies toward the floor. However, your momentum is stopped by the stern body of your audacious savior.

Hisoka pulls your arm past his neck, his strong arm wrapping around your waist and holding you flush against his body. A few of the people clap at the display, the women especially noting how dashing this charismatic man is, and how lucky the woman in his arms must be.

Obviously, they didn’t know the real Hisoka…

“If you wanted to dance, you could have just asked.” Hisoka notes softly, with a hubristic undertone. The way he holds you, however, is soft and careful, his fingers spread along your waist as he pulls you to your feet. You scoff, and look away, but you can’t bring yourself to pull away from his pleasing embrace. Still, you’re mad at him, and you don’t show your flustered expression outwardly.

Without your permission, Hisoka begins to move your body in tandem with his, guiding your hips to the beat of the new song playing in the ballroom.

“You look angry, (Y/N).” He notices your expression and rigidity but doesn’t stop moving his feet. It’s a rather timid tune at first, however, at the bridge of the song the tempo began to pick up, and you easily accommodated. You two begin to tango across the floor, much to the delight of the people watching your display in awe.

“We’re supposed to be working, and you’re over there flirting.” You scold yourself inwardly as you realize he’s going to have a heyday roasting your obvious jealousy.

“Ah, and you were working at the bar when you were sipping your cocktail?” He retorts fluently, surprising you. He has been watching you this whole time and was perfectly willing to never let you know it!

Hisoka whips his hair out of his eyes, his bangs parting just long enough to reveal to you a flash of his enchanted yellow eyes. Somehow, that hungry, almost pleading look behind his irises melts away your fear that he doesn’t feel anything for you. And from that moment on, you can’t break eye contact with him, as if he’s holding you under some sort of spell.

~God, that was hot.~ You think, but you are determined to keep your cool and not show all your cards, so you shoot him an equally suggestive look that makes his blood boil. Your eyes make him go crazy. He can’t take that look in your eyes, the way you encapsulate your emotions within them makes Hisoka lose his breath and feel a little weak in the knees (not something he’s used to). Both of you are too caught up in each other to realize how much you are both leaking bloodlust.

“Jealousy looks good on you.” He smirks, twirling your body around him, and catching you in his arms.

“Hm.” You smile, beginning to have fun with this performance. “I look good on you, wouldn’t you say?” You retort boldly, not expecting Hisoka to take it quite so seriously. His smile fades, and as you twirl back to him, the song dies down, and Hisoka bends you over his knee, hanging your body in his balance.

His gilded eyes have never looked more intense and sincere. Your comment seems to have uprooted his act, and his forehead presses to yours as it seems he is devouring your soul with his eyes.

“I couldn’t agree more, y/n.” He breathes against your lips at the closing note of the ballad, hoping that you’ll confirm his hopes and take the leap of faith he needs you to in that moment.

Your heart begins to skip beats, and you can’t hold your act any longer. Your cheeks are painted with a deep red shade, and your neck begins to crane. Somehow, on the fly, you are unsure. What would all of this lead to?

Your thoughts of leaving Hisoka hanging are interrupted by the annoying screech of one of the women from before, spewing a slurred, “Way to go, Mr. Horatio!”

Horrible fake name aside, this makes your jealousy skyrocket as you realize she’s talking about your white knight.

You turn back to him with the fire of Hell in your eyes, and meld your lips with Hisoka’s with such ferocity that it takes him off guard, and for a moment he is completely star struck. The taste of your lips ignites such a passion within him that his hand moves to your hair, tilting your head back with a gentle tug to allow him better access to your sensitive parts. His obsession for you is on full display, and he doesn’t care who sees it.

As you break for air, his lips move excitably to your neck, the both of you completely forgetting that you are in the middle of a mission and a whole crowd of people. Neither of you seem to care, and if Hisoka has his way you’ll end this party with a bang.

The guards have a different plan.

“The Magician! I’d recognize that Bloodlust anywhere!” Someone shouts, sending a force of guards your way. Hisoka can’t help but smirk in that general direction, and without a thought, he unleashes the full weight of his bloodlust, and scoops you into his arms protectively. “I think we’ve overstayed our welcome, darling. Let’s head out.” He purrs. Somehow, even being chased by a force of guards, which he could easily annihilate, he is as enticing with his voice as ever. You have not the power nor will to disobey that honey-like, nuanced voice that turns your resolve to ash. Instead, you are content with the view of his hair flying in the wind as he gracefully bursts out of the mansion, running with you in his arms.

You’re completely enthralled with him, and he knows it; he feels the same about you. But as the house vanishes from your sight, your eyes widen as you remember one key detail.

“Hisoka… WE DIDN’T KILL THE TARGET!” You panic, as he slows; you’re far enough away to be safe now.

Hisoka chuckles warmly, which confuses you.

“Not to worry, y/n. I killed him days ago.” He says matter-of-factly, anticipating your reaction at hearing that the party was completely unnecessary. “My place?” He skips past it like it’s a minor detail.

Your body tenses.

“Hold on…YOU WHAT?!”

~FIN~

…I could see a very NSFW Part Two for this... -///-

Part two is here!!

https://xhisokas-harleyx.tumblr.com/post/660568203654774784/in-x-this-x-moment-hisoka-x-reader-pt2-to-fire

I loved this prompt. So cute. Hope you all liked it! <3

[lubdubsworld]

Better Man .

~~~~~~~~~~I wish I could forget, when it was magic~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taehyung x Oc 

Rated 18 +

Post Divorce, Getting Back Together, Second chances, Angst.

 Chapter 1    Chapter 2   Chapter 3 

Chapter 4

How do you know you’re ready for kids? 

Is it after you’re financially stable enough? After you’ve partied enough? Got all the wildness inside you tamed? After you’ve grown sick of the freedom that comes with youth and what it implies ?  after you’ve grown tired of empty conversations that lead nowhere? sharing ubers with people you barely like because you’re too drunk to drive? When you just crave the comfort of people you truly love instead of strangers who grind up on you ? Or perhaps   when you start preferring silence in the evenings to the thrumming bass in some dingy nightclub? 

None of these really. 

The truth is you’re never ready. 

Hoshi had been planned. Taehyung and I had done our homework, studied everything from my ovulation cycle to the entire catalogue of some expensive breast pump , new in the market . Everything had been researched and planned and perfected : the wood the crib would be made of, the color he wallpaper in the nursery would be and the kind of diapers and wipes we would use. 

But it still threw us for a loop....how unpredictable he was.

How unpredictable the pregnancy was. 

What I wanted : Home birth. Mid wife . Taehyung by my side holding my hand.

What i got : Preeclampsia, a baby born six weeks early, Taehyung frantic on the phone in the middle of the night as he took his private jet from Japan where he was shooting a commercial. The pain of being induced into a labor that lasted for 16 hours only for my body to give up half way through. 

A c section that left a scar and numbness that hadn’t faded even now , after four whole years. three weeks in the NICU....tears and terror after learning that the  baby in the incubator right next to Hoshi’s didn’t make it. Aching to hold my son but being forced to stare at him through the glass, wires and tubes wrapped around his tiny torso. 

And through it all, Taehyung. 

Stronger than I had ever seen him. Calm and collected as he watched me pump milk for our baby, barely managing a few measly drops of it after thirty minutes of trying . His arms around me, holding me up as I tried to fight the sheer agony that came from my stitches, tried to stay conscious for the baby. Watching him carefully pour the milk into a sterile bottle to take down to the NICU . 

Falling in love with him, over and over and over again throughout the day as he did  everything for me. 

Hoshi was loved and cherished , not just because he was an expression of our love for each other. 

But a reminder of Taehyung’s love for  me. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“ He’s growing out of all his clothes. I’m going to take him shopping tomorrow.”  Taehyung commented, watching Hoshi get on his tippy toes to point out the pastry he wanted from the display case, while a star struck cashier stared at Taehyung . 

Taehyung’s body guards were right near the table and while a crowd of people stood outside, none of them came too close. I was used to the attention that came with Taehyung and his celebrity status. 

“That’s a good idea. I have a couple of meetings tomorrow regarding the Christmas campaign and I may not be able to make it on the weekedn either. Is it okay if I pick him on monday evening?” I asked, cutting into the blueberry scon on my plate.

“How about I drop him off at your office. Save you the trip.” 

I hesitated, before nodding. 

“I spoke to the lawyer....she told me the papers should be processed by the end of next month. My company will make a formal announcement from both of us and we’ll say we don’t intend to answer any other media questions.”

I stared at him, watching his face carefully for something different. A sign that would explain what had changed between us because something had. I was sure of it. 

“ Why now, Taehyung?” I asked softly. 

He held my gaze for a second, eyes warm and honest. Taehyung could hide his emotions well, but his eyes always told the truth. 

“Because I’ve strung you along long enough. You deserve to be free.” He said finally.

I swallowed, looking down. 

“I ....you didn’t string me along.” I shook my head.

“I think you deserve to be loved right, without the shadow of my failures hanging over you. I don’t want you to spend the rest of your life in a limbo because of one wrong choice.”

Wrong choice. 

Whose ?

His? When he chose to drink That night?

Or mine? When I chose to walk out?

Or the both of us? For handling the fallout so badly? 

I had so many questions but I didn’t say anything. 

They were question that had no answers. 

“So we move on.” I stared at him intently.

“I will always love you. I will always be there for you.” He smiled, eyes glinting a little. 

i watched him, the familiar body. He had been my first. My best. Taehyung’s body was as familiar to me as my own and I wanted to hug him, hold him close and press kisses to his lips again. It wasn’t emotional or even sexual it was just...this urge to let him know that he was loved too. that he was adored. That he would always be loved.

“But, “ he went on, “  yes. Its been two years.... so.... we should move on. Meet other people. ” 

“Fall in love again ?” I didn’t mean to sound bitter but my tone certainly was. He gave me a very tired smile and I felt guilt bubble up inside me. 

“I’m not going to be that greedy, Mia.  I will settle for just feeling a little less alone.” He looked away and my throat closed up. 

He stood up, moving to the counter to pay for the treats that Hoshi had chosen. 

And that was it. 

I watched the small tendrils of warmth, rising up from my coffee, gossamer strips of smoke mingling in the cold air and melting into nothingness. 

Here one second gone the next.

Just like my marriage. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a little past seven when I reached my apartment, my phone ringing just as I dropped my coat and unwrapped the scarf from around my neck. I moved quickly to the bedroom, pulling my phone out of my handbag. 

I picked the call, switching it to speaker before tossing my phone on the bed. 

“Hello?”

“Jang Mi...its Jungkook. You ready?”

I swore, stripping out of my clothes quickly, fumbling with my bra and yanking my panties down.

“I’m just about to shower.  Five me ten minutes!” 

He didn’t reply and I frowned.

“Jungkook??” i called opening the closet to grab a hairband and shower cap. 

“When you say you’re just about to shower...are you actually in the shower?” His voice  sounded a little deeper than usual. Weird. 

“What?” I was completely confused.

“Like are you naked in-”

Oh Christ. 

I rolled my eyes, hanging up quickly. Sleeping with Jungkook, while extremely pleasurable had definitely been a little too much too soon. It made him take too many liberties, ones I wasn’t particularly comfortable giving him yet. 

But I liked him. 

He was, at the end of the day a nice guy. 

A nice guy who had an actual interest in me. Those were rare to come by. 

It was another fifteen minutes before I was ready, choosing a plain black jumpsuit in a flowy georgette material. It had nice flowy sleeves and i added gold jewelry at my wrists and earrings, just for a little bling. I stared at the dress at all angles. It definitely hugged my curves right but was also impossibly hard to take off. 

So even if I got swayed by his good looks and made bad choices ,  by the time Jungkook undressed me , i would be able to come to my senses and stop myself from having sex with him again. 

Groaning at myself, I grabbed the small black jeweled clutch from inside my dresser, slipping my phone in.

I steered clear of make up, choosing just a deep red lipstick. 

The knock on the door came just as i finished slipping into black pumps . 

I opened the door , only to have a dozen red roses thrust into my hands. 

“Wow.” I whispered, glancing at him. He looked extra handsome, a blood red shirt clinging to his torso, a think black tie knotted at his neck. He gave me a devilish wink, eyes flitting all over me , licking his lips. 

i tamped down the urge to back away, reminding myself that I was supposed to be moving on. Even if it wasn’t with Jungkook, he had asked me out on a date and I had agreed. I would enjoy myself tonight. 

“Gorgeous. Ready?”

“Let me just put these in water...” I smiled at him, placing the stems into the cut glass decanter on the nearest table. I emptied the small bottle of water nearby into it , bending over to fix the petals when I felt him press right up against me. 

Startling, i nearly spilled the water all over the floor, breath catching when his chest met my back . I felt myself trembling a bit because of how warm he felt, even with the inches between us and I could smell him, the subtle cologne that handsome men wear , just to drive women crazy. 

The urge to lean into his body was so strong I had to clench my fists. Apparently,  my body was  very much on board with moving on even if my heart wasn’t. Jungkook made things worse by moaning into my ear, chin resting on my shoulder as he lightly gripped my waist, before reaching over with other hand, plucking one scarlet bloom from the bunch  

I swallowed as he wrapped both arms around me in a backhug , holding the bloom up in front of my face. 

“Do you like the scent of it?” His lips brushed my ear and I grinned. I hadn’t been flirted with , like this in years. I bent my head to lightly breath in the air near the bloom, enjoying the subtle scent. “It’s lovely.” I said honestly. 

He  casually broke the stem off, a couple of inches from the where the petals began. 

“Turn around for me “ Jungkook whispered in my ear again. I turned around quickly, my lips inches from his, refusing to back away, staring right at him. He smirked, bringing the flower up to the small upknot on the side of my head. 

I stayed still as he carefully pulled a single bobby pin out, sticking the stem into my hair before casually using his teeth to pry open the pin again and slotting it into my hair, pinning the flower in place. 

Apparently, watching Jungkook pin a rose into my hair was winning brownie points for him in my brain, because my entire body went warm , my heart beating faster. 

“I’m scared to ask why you’re so good at this...” I smiled and he raised an eyebrow.

“I have a daughter remember? Its a lot of ribbons and bows and pins.” He grinned. 

The idea that Jungkook did his daughter’s hair for her, with ribbons and flowers was so ridiculously endearing I wanted to coo. 

“There. Now we match.... A little.” he smiled. 

I stared at him, the black tie on his red shirt and the red rose against my black dress. 

“Smart. “ I nodded. 

“Shall we leave?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I had fun tonight.” Jungkook hesitated . 

The night had been so much more fun than I’d anticipated. Jungkook somehow convincing me to party crash someone’s engagement party near the pool with an open bar and ridiculous ninety’s party music. But I’d danced to my heart’s content, my hair coming undone half way through and I was only a little upset that I’d lost the red rose in the middle of people.

“I had a lot of fun too Jungkook’ah..” I smiled, honest . 

“We should do this again. Since we never got to actually talk. It was just you getting progressively drunk and dancing like you wanted to pee.” He teased and I pouted. 

I reached out and pressed a palm to his face...his skin smooth under my skin and I felt myself swaying just a little, lethargic and a little aroused from the scent of him.

“Wanna get another drink?” And then because I was completely gone and had no filter, “ If you come inside....maybe I’ll let you cum inside. if you know what I mean.....” I drawled, waggling my eyebrows. 

Jungkook’s face morphed into one of absolute shock, lips parted and then he laughed so hard he choked, coughing. 

“Wow. You  are  drunk.” He shook his head, looking amused. “ How about this.... I’ll come in and tuck you into bed and if you drink a couple of glasses of water for me, I will not tease you about this tomorrow.” He offered. 

I pouted. 

“You don’t wanna come inside...?”

“Oh baby , you have no idea how bad I wanna come inside.....but not like this” He brushed the hair off my brow, kissing my forehead...” Ask me again when you’re sober and we’ll work something out. Now let’s get you into bed.” 

I groaned as he dragged me into the bedroom. 

The moment my head hit the pillow, I fell asleep. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!~

Author’s note : Not me falling in love with the second lead in my own story ugh.  He’s gonna get a separate story. I’m gonna write a whole entire fic for CFO! Jungkook , adorable single dad of cute little girl. 

I don’t have a tag list for this fic so please do let me know if you want to be tagged !!! 

[yeojaa]

( TEASER / holidating. )

In life, there are certain things that go together, two parts that make up a whole.  The sun in the sky, grandmothers and cheek kisses, chocolate when you’re sad—and you and Jeon Jungkook.  Best friends since childhood, there’s never been one without the other.  You’ve always existed this way, caught in each other’s orbit.  Parallel lines that run side by side. 

But what happens when those lines finally collide?

(or:  how to lose a best friend in ten days.)

pairing.   best friend!jjk x f!reader.

genre + rating.  this teaser is general but the full fic won’t be (wink wink). entirely made up of cracky, silly, and somewhat infuriating fluff.

tags / warnings.  idiot best friends being idiots and a dumb amount of cuteness.  the final will have further tags added.

wc.  0.9k for this teaser. undetermined full story.

beta reader(s).  @hobi-gif because she be my gurl.

author note.  this is part of the rockin’ around the christmas tropes collab with the most wonderful group of women @underthejoon @ladyartemesia @ppersonna​ @untaemedqueen​ @xjoonchildx​ and @snackhobi​.  i am so excited for you guys to read the amazing works that are going to be coming out.  please support these lovelies!  ✨💗

— coming 23/12/20 !

Jeon Jungkook is four bites into his steak when he almost chokes, the half-chewed slice getting caught somewhere in the back of his throat, threatening to send him to a far too early grave.  He’s three delirious gulps of water deep when he asks you to repeat what you’ve just said, staring at you with the biggest roundest eyes anyone’s ever seen, shining like a beacon in the night, a solar flare that eclipses everything else around it.  He’s silent for a total of five seconds - or so he thinks - before he’s laughing, scoffing so loudly it disrupts Eevee, your lazy Maine Coon, and sends her bolting from her spot by his feet.  

“You’re kidding me.”  Because he can’t even begin to fathom what you’ve said, make sense of the ludicrous suggestion you’ve made.  

This, coming from the guy who has been your best friend for the last seventeen years.  Who has known you for almost two decades and who, by sheer idiot osmosis, has been privy to every harebrained scheme you’ve even come up.  Who has, often against his will, suffered through all your crazy 4 a.m. suggestions, nodded along half-asleep as you’d prattled on and on about things that hardly made sense in the light of day but fared even worse beneath a blanket of sleep.

(And you’d had a lot of bad ideas.  From your absurd fried chicken restaurant - where you’d use vacuum tubes to send food to people’s tables - to your non-whiteboard whiteboard desk - made for the everyday office person - he’d seen it all.  Talked you off ledges and rebuked your half-hearted request for him to be your angel investor.

“Isn’t this what friends do?”  You’d said, implored, just two weeks ago over another dinner, with that same absurd stare of yours, the one that Jungkook’s known for most of his life, that makes everything just a little harder to say no to.

“Invest in shitty ideas?”  So maybe some of your ideas aren’t that bad.  Maybe, just maybe, they’re actually sort of inventive.  Out there, certainly, but innovative, plucked from the mind of you and only you.  

Still, he likes giving you a hard time.  It’s sort of his thing.

“Definitely not.”

You’d kicked him under the table, pouted at him and then continued your rambling, completely unfazed by the fact that he was not, in fact, going to shell out a part of his trust fund to bring your whacky idea to life.)

Because you know him so well - could read him like a book, recognise his voice in a crowd of thousands, find his smile like a star in the night sky - you take his disbelief in stride.  Treat it like it’s nothing you’re not used to which, well, you aren’t.  Continue to stack French fries onto the tines of your fork, twirling the utensil before depositing the too-big bite into your mouth.

“What’s to kid about?  It’s a good idea.”

Whether it is or isn’t is up for Jungkook to decide.  He can’t entertain it at all, just the mere thought of it existing too far out of the realm of possibility.  “We’re not— What’d you call it?”

“Holidating,”  you state, so matter of fact he wants to roll his eyes.  Actually does when you set your fork down, lay it neatly beside your plate and level him with that stare.  The one that reads like a big red warning sign, that might as well have neon lighting it up by how he shrinks away.  He knows that look.  He knows you’re not backing down, somehow fired up and ready to go in the minute that’s passed.

Still, he’ll try.  Play off your suggestion and scoff just that much harder.  “We’re not holidating, ____.”  

“Why not?”  You’re exasperated, two hands landing on the countertop with gusto.  It’s as endearing as it is childish, making him laugh again, roll his eyes until the sclera is all you can see.  (You’d told him once that his eyes would get stuck like that if he did it too much. Cue the prank when he’d worn white contacts and nearly given you a heart attack at the tender age of thirteen.)

“Because I don’t have time for dating, let alone—”  Jungkook feels idiotic when he says the words, wrapping them in airquotes that have you glowering.  “‘Holidating’ or whatever.”

“That’s the point!”  You’re waving those same two hands - you’ve always talked with them, emotive and dramatic like in a soap opera star - as if that might lend some validity to your statement.  “You don’t have time to date.  I just got out of a relationship.”  Sure, they’re facts but they mean nothing to him as you continue to ramble on.  “Neither of us can or even want to put in the effort for a relationship but like, who wants to spend the holidays alone?”

(You have a point.  There’s nothing quite like attending his extended family’s annual Christmas dinner by himself.  It garners too many of the same questions, offered by distant relatives that mean well but otherwise drive him insane.)

(He’s not about to tell you that, though.  Hard time, and all that.)

“It’s not that bad,”  he says, lying through those slightly too-big, slightly buck-toothed teeth of his.  Why he bothers, he isn’t sure.  You catch him immediately, a loud a-ha! snapping past your lips when he glances to the side, completely unconsciously.

(You’ve known his tell since he was in high school.  Since that first time you’d caught on when he’d borrowed - and subsequently broken - your camera, you’ve known.  You call him out on it too.  Every. single. time.)

“You’re telling me you want to have your grandma ask you when you’re going to give her grandkids for the umpteenth time?  Seriously?”  

“It’s not that bad,”  he repeats, a broken record that can’t be fixed, whose cat-scratched eeeeeee gives him away.

He’s bluffing.  He knows it.  You know it.

Looks like you’re holidating. 

tag list.  @neverthefirstchoice @youwannabelostandnotbefound @codeinebelle @jeonmisha 

[according-to-the-laura]

StackedNatural Day 95: 2x12, 13x11

StackedNatural Masterpost: [x]

January 25, 2022

2x12: Nightshifter

Written by: Ben Edlund

Directed by: Phil Sgriccia

Original air date: January 25, 2007

Plot Synopsis:

The Winchesters investigate a series of crimes where robbers with no criminal past commit suicide after the hold-ups.

Features:

Ronald the X-Files superfan, mandroids, Ronald takes the bank, Henrickson makes his first appearance, the absolute best needle drop of the entire series.

My Thoughts:

I’ve probably already said this about another episode in Stacked but this is maybe the perfect recipe for a monster of the week style episode. The special effects are impeccable, the stakes are low-ish world-wise (Chuck isn’t about to Vanish everyone on Earth) but astronomical for the protagonists. It’s a reasonable escalation of in-world stakes based on what has happened with the Winchesters and the cops so far in the series.There’s emotional stakes introduced early with Ronald because he has his heart in the right place and he tries to do the right thing even if he fails spectacularly at it. The setup is believable, they didn’t have to make up bullshit for them to be stuck in that situation without their usual arsenal of weapons. And I love a smart monster! This shifter is freaky because of how good it is at what it’s doing. Everything is really well-executed.

I really like Ben Edlund’s dialogue for Dean in this episode (and generally in his other episodes as well); he’s fun without being overly quippy, he has strong emotional reactions to anything to do with his dad, and he gets to like people like Ron and the okey-dokey bank guy.

The only thing that kind of annoys me is the women just throwing themselves at Dean (although this is an early-seasons complaint in general, not just for this episode), but at a certain point it becomes really performative in the text itself. Like flashing a neon sign saying “THIS MAN IS A RED-BLOODED HETEROSEXUAL”. Methinks the lady (Eric Kripke) doth protest too much.

Thank you Ben Edlund for the introduction of Victor Henrickson; I love when there are real world consequences to the choices they have to make while monster hunting. They’re in danger from everyone, not just the things they hunt, and that makes it way more tense to watch them do what they do. It’s a fun quirk of Stacked that the only other time we’ve seen him so far was his part in the Rising of the Witnesses in season 4 as part of the breaking of the seals.

Notable Lines:

“I liked him. He's not that different from you or me. People think we're crazy.”

“It's become my job to know about you, Dean. I've been looking for you for weeks now. I know about the murder in St. Louis, I know about the Houdini act you pulled in Baltimore. I know about the desecrations and the thefts. I know about your dad. [...] Ex-marine, raised his kids on the road, cheap motels, backwood cabins. Real paramilitary survivalist type. I just can't get a handle on what type of whacko he was.”

Laura’s (completely subjective) Episode Rating: 9.8

IMdB Rating: 9.0

13x11: Breakdown

Written by: Davy Perez

Directed by: Amyn Kaderali

Original air date: January 25, 2018

Plot Synopsis:

Donna calls Dean and Sam for help after her niece Wendy goes missing. They find out she was kidnapped by a man who sells human parts to monsters in online auctions and race to rescue her.

Features:

Creepy cashiers and truck stop patrons, Dean makes pancakes at 6am like a maniac, Donna’s missing niece, Sam is less than enthusiastic, dark web body part auctions, Donna is great with a shotgun, Doug gets turned and unturned, Sam gets captured,

My Thoughts:

We skipped this episode on our first watch of the late seasons because it doesn’t have a ton of relevance to the main plot and @weedsinavacantlot was prioritizing Cas episodes (understandable), but HOLY SHIT. I LOVED this episode.

Right off the start the directing was way more interesting and suspenseful than a lot of what we’ve seen in Supernatural, even in some of the earlier seasons when the show was ostensibly in the horror genre. It reminded me of Drag Me Away (From You), which I guess the whole fandom isn’t sold on but I also loved. He’s making his way to being my favourite director, and the team up with Davy Perez writing is super strong.

A lot of the time in the later seasons I’m not into one-off episodes but I really liked this one. If the monster of the week style episodes in seasons 11-15 were more like this I would enjoy them a lot more.

Giving us the emotional in of it being someone Donna loves was great. Donna is such a loveable character that I immediately bought in to wanting to rescue Wendy, and it was awesome to see how much she’s developed as a hunter and how much her confidence has grown in the last few years. She’s a total badass now, and she doesn’t wait around for Sam and Dean to solve all the problems just because she called them in to help. At the same time, she’s still allowed to feel things and have emotional reactions to everything going on. It can be a difficult line to walk but I think it was handled beautifully.

All of the minor characters and suspects had a ton of personality to them. I was worried for a minute that the hot lesbian trucker was going to be evil just because we so rarely get our attention drawn to a civilian without them either being evil or being killed a few minutes later. The preacher, too, was a complete creep, but he was also just a guy. A great red herring.

When the auction was revealed I legitimately just pointed at the screen and yelled “EW EW EW” for like 30 seconds. I cheered and threw my hands in the air when Donna shot out the vampire’s kneecap. I had ordered food and I didn’t remember to look at my phone to check the status until the doorbell rang as it was delivered like 3 minutes from the end of the episode.

I wouldn’t exactly call this episode one for the Samgirls, but I thought it was really great that Davy Perez tied him to Kaia a little bit. It’s so easy in later seasons to forget that Sam was a psychic kid too, and I never considered him identifying with Kaia and then seeing her die for them. I was with Dean and kind of laughed to myself thinking he was moping about something. (To be fair, it’s hard to track everyone’s emotional journeys when your stacking. I might have remembered if I was just watching the seasons in normal human order.)

The actress who played Wendy was great. She didn’t really get the opportunity to show a lot of range, but my bet is that if Wayward Sisters had been picked up she would have at least been a recurring character.

Notable Lines:

“Do you really wanna get on the FBI’s radar again?”

“So you’re saying monsters are real?” “Pretty much.”

“He’s a big boy. We need him on a wide lens.”

“You and your brother are famous. Hell, soon as I saw that fancy car, I knew who you were. And I knew you’d be trouble.”

“most monsters… hell, they could be your next-door neighbor. They work a regular job, mow the lawns on a Saturday.”

“This ends one way for us, Dean. It ends bloody.”

Laura’s (completely subjective) Episode Rating: 9.8

IMdB Rating: 8.3

In Conclusion: Stacked said stop getting on the FBI’s radar.

<< Previous Day  |  Next Day >>

[crimesandcuriosities]

"This is getting to be restraining order level crazy. I'm not kidding... She just really needs help."

In early 2011, 27 year old lawyer Ryan Poston was browsing Facebook when he came across pictures of 18 year old university student Shayna Hubers posing in a bikini. They began talking, and by Spring of that year the two had met and begun dating. However, it soon became apparent that Shayna was significantly more invested in the relationship than Ryan was, and the cracks already began to show. 

Ryan was becoming increasingly concerned by Shayna’s obsessive behaviour, and he was ready to break it off for good. For every one text Ryan would send, Shayna would send fifty. Despite living almost 80 miles apart - Shayna in Kentucky and Ryan in Ohio - she would constantly turn up unannounced to his home and let herself in. She had even Googled how to pick locks using hair pins. On one particular night in April 2012, Shayna outright refused to leave Ryan’s home, so he fled his own property and stayed at his dad’s house just to escape her. Jay Poston, Ryan’s father, would later testify that his son’s phone did not stop pinging all night.

By October 2012, during the 18 months they had spent together so far, the couple had broken up and got back together on numerous occasions; usually because Shayna would cry and Ryan would feel sorry for her. However, this time he’d had enough. In a text sent to his cousin, who was also Shayna’s friend, he wrote: "This is getting to be restraining order level crazy. I'm not kidding... You need to talk to her... She needs help, and I say that without exaggeration.” To another friend, he also messaged: "Literally probably the craziest fucking person I have ever met. She almost scares me.”

During the afternoon of October 12th - believing that he was now free from Shayna - Ryan was preparing for a date with another woman. Her name was Audrey Bolte (pictured bottom), and she was also Miss Ohio and a Miss USA runner-up that year. Before leaving work, he had excitedly told colleagues that he was taking a beauty queen out for a drink that night. However, instead of sharing Ryan’s positivity, one coworker replied: “I'm very nervous about what you're doing tonight because who knows what Shayna will do. You need to get her gone. I need you to call the police. I need you to call a locksmith. I need you to make it very final.” While Ryan reassured them that he had the situation with Shayna under control, he was sadly unaware that he would not make it to his date that night.

After hearing that Ryan was taking out a beautiful pageant winner, Shayna became consumed by an inconsolable, jealous rage. Once again - and for the last time - she turned up to her ex-boyfriend’s condo and an argument broke out between them. During this exchange, Shayna reached for one of Ryan’s firearms lying on the dining table and fired six bullets into him. After firstly calling her mother to confess what she had done, Shayna eventually dialled for emergency services after some delay, during which she immediately began to claim self-defence:

Hubers: He beat me and tried to carry me out of the house and I came back in to get my things and he was right in front of me and he reached down and grabbed the gun and I grabbed it out of his hand and pulled the trigger.

911 operator: And how long ago did you shoot him?

Hubers: I don't know, 15 ... 10, 15 minutes ... not even that long.

911 operator: 10 or 15 minutes ago?

Hubers: Yeah.

Shayna also claimed that Ryan threw her across the room and into a bookshelf. However, upon inspecting the scene, investigators noted that none of the loose objects placed on the shelves had been disturbed. In fact, there was a line of bullets standing upright on one shelf, which most certainly would have toppled over if the bookshelf was moved in any way - but they hadn’t.

After being brought into the police station, Shayna was left alone for a few minutes and watched from a different room by officers. During this time, she paced the room, danced and sang “Amazing Grace”. She was also heard muttering to herself: “I did it. Yes, did it!” During police questioning, despite requesting the presence of an attorney, Shayna voluntarily divulged a significant amount of information about what happened. One particular statement proved to be quite bizarre and incriminating:

“And he was laying with his face on the table, like twitching. And so I knew he was gonna die... And I walked around the table [cries]. And I think that's when I shot him... in the head. I shot him probably six times, shot him in the head. He fell onto the ground. He was, like, laying like this [she gets down on the floor]. His glasses were still on. He was twitching some more. I shot him a couple of more times just to make sure he was dead 'cause I didn't wanna watch him die... I knew he was gonna die or have a completely deformed face. He's very vain... and wants to get a nose job; just that kinda person and I shot him right here... I gave him his nose job he wanted”

Numerous people who knew Shayna did not believe her claims of self-defence from the offset. According to a former friend who had grown up with Hubers, she was extremely academically intelligent, but on the other hand she was extremely volatile and fragile when it came to boys: "If a guy, like, broke up with her or something or if a guy just said they weren't interested in her she would take it pretty hard... crying and maybe a little screaming... she didn't really like to let things go." Also, according to one of Ryan’s female friends, Shayna was described as follows: "She was so cold. You could just immediately tell... she was just obsessed with him... I think she had a goal, in the beginning, to make him settle down with her. And when she wasn't becoming successful, that became a problem."

Forensic evidence used by the prosecution refuted that Hubers had acted in self-defence, as an examination of gunshot trajectories showed that the victim had been sitting when the first shot was fired. He also would not have been able to stand after receiving the first head wound, therefore rebutting Hubers’ claims that she fired multiple shots because Ryan was still chasing her. Neighbours living in the apartment below Ryan’s also reported hearing two gunshots, followed by hesitation and then a further three shots, indicating that Shayna had paused with enough time to process her actions and realise that Ryan was already incapacitated.

Those who testified for the prosecution, including Audrey Bolte, spoke of the victim’s humour and gentle nature. According to those closely aware of the tumultuous relationship, Ryan was extremely non-confrontational and often sought help with escaping the toxic cycle he had become entangled in with Shayna. Friends argued that he prolonged his own torment by remaining in the relationship just to avoid upsetting her, and ultimately this thoughtfulness was the catalyst for his own demise. Although Hubers had attempted to argue that she was a victim of relentless emotional and physical abuse at the hands of Ryan, the jury - like family, friends and acquaintances - did not buy it. She was found guilty of murder in April 2015.

Following a retrial in 2018, Shayna Hubers was ultimately sentenced to life imprisonment with the possibility of parole. She is currently incarcerated at Kentucky Correctional Institute for Women and may be considered for parole in 2032. If parole is granted, she will have served 17 years in total for Ryan Poston’s murder.

[mosswillow]

Learning To Love - Steve Rogers x Reader (featuring Texas vibes)

Summary: Life always does this thing where it puts you in situations you swore you were done experiencing. You’re done having relationships, but they may not be done with you.

Warnings: Smut, feelings, angst, interrupted assault  (In relation to this, attacker going unpunished, intimidation, stalker vibes.), mature themes, 18+ adult content, slow burn?

A/N: This is a gift for @joannie95 for the Hoelentine’s Day challenge! I hope you like it. This isn’t a dark fic but it is a little heavy, there’s a healthy dollop of anxiety and feelings throughout with a happy ending.

Thanks to  @amythedvdhoarder @chrissquares and @drabblewithfrannybarnes  for putting this whole thing together, it’s such a fun challenge!

By clicking keep reading you confirm you’re over 18. This is mature content, be careful.

Unlovable.

When asked to describe yourself it’s the first word you think of. Your very first boyfriend spent months emotionally abusing you and by the end of the relationship it’s what you truly believed about yourself. Every relationship after has been the same. Your insecurities and inability to trust causing tension that eventually sabotages any chance at making things work; and with each failed relationship your view of yourself becomes more and more loathsome. Self hatred and depreciation surround you in a cloak of misery, convincing you that they’re your friends.  It’s all your fault, you deserve all of it, You’re unlovable.

So you don’t do relationships anymore. You want nothing more than to love and be loved, to hold hands and kiss under the moonlight. You want a partner to share your life with, an emotional connection that transcends yourself, creating a whole new person.

If only you were good enough, worthy enough for love.

But you’re not.

---

“No eating in here Dr. Rogers,” you chide.

Steve looks up at you and gives a smirk.

“How about a little bribe.” He holds up a bag of beaver nuggets. You roll your eyes and look around before sticking your hand in and grabbing a few puffs.

“I knew you couldn’t be perfect all the time,” He teases.

“Don’t you have an office or something?”

“I like it better here, I get to be scolded by a beautiful librarian and don’t have to deal with the other professors.”  

You’ve known Steve for years. He started teaching at the same time you joined the library staff at Rice. He’s genuine and kind. You’ve watched him help countless students outside of office hours. Everyone likes him, including you. You really like him a lot. That’s why you can’t let yourself entertain the possibility of being with him. You can’t lose him. You can’t bear the inevitable conclusion of him looking you in the eyes and telling you he’s done, that you’re too much for him.

“Well you’ll have to pack it up, they’re sending everyone home because of the hurricane.”

“It’s barely even a hurricane, more like a tropical storm,” Steve scoffs.

“Sorry, I don’t make the rules.”

You close the library down before heading to your car. The wind has already started and the sky darkens by the second. You smell the slight scent of sea air and know it’s close. The humidity, which you forgot could even get this bad, causes you to start sweating profusely and you want to get home and take a shower before the storm starts. You have a pint of blue bell waiting for you at home along with a stack of unread books, a quiet night sounds perfect.

“Hey.”

You whip around and see a familiar face, a grad student who visits the library often. Alex, you remember.

“Sorry, I just closed the library down. You'll have to wait until the school opens.”

He takes a small step forward, close enough that your personal space is violated, while at the same time far enough to where the invasion feels almost accidental.

“I’ve watched you around campus, noticed your schedule.” It’s not an accident.

It’s not unusual for students to flirt with you but this is less flirting and more just creepy.

“Oh, um yeah I work a lot.” you take a step back and he follows.

“You don’t have a boyfriend.” He states.

You stare at him and take another step back, hitting your back on your car. You grab onto the handle and he reaches out and grabs your hand.

“Hey don’t be like that. I’m a good guy. I won’t hurt you.”

You pry your hand away..

“One date, say yes.” He says, slowly pushing his body towards you.

“No, I have to go.”  

You press yourself against your car as his body goes rigid.

“You’re such a fucking tease, parading around me for weeks.”

He takes a tiny step back but places his hands against your car, caging you in. You close your eyes and freeze in fear. Your mind screams at you to move but your body just won’t.

He’s suddenly pulled away from you and when you open your eyes the only thing visible is Steve’s back.

“She said no, why don’t you move along and maybe spend some time considering why you feel entitled to women who clearly aren’t interested.”

Alex and Steve stare at each other for a few slow moments before Alex scowls at you and walks away.

“Are you ok?” Steve turns to you.

“I’m fine.” you lie, crossing your arms to avoid shaking.

Steve raises his eyebrows and looks you up and down. You’re not entirely sure how it happens but somehow you end up sitting in the passenger seat of Steve's truck, looking at your apartment building. Rain has started coming down in earnest and you dread running through it.

“Are you going to be ok alone?” Steve asks

“Are you?” You reply.

You look at eachother and your mind clears. His blue eyes stare at you with concern. Steve's hands are still on the steering wheel, clutching on like it might disappear if he lets go. You don’t want to be alone and you can tell that he doesn’t either. You want to feel safe and right now Steve is the only one who makes you feel that way. It would be so easy to invite him in, you know he would say yes.

“You don’t have a car. do you have food? Bottled water? A portable charger?” Steve asks.

“You’re the one that said it’s barely a hurricane.”

Steve sighs and releases his hands from the steering wheel.

“Just call me if you need me.”

You nod and climb out of the truck. The transition from the hot rain to your air conditioned apartment causes you to start shivering and even after you change and cover yourself in a warm blanket you still shake uncontrollably.

---

The storm lasts three days, worse than you were expecting but nothing like Harvey.

Steve shows up at your apartment bright and early a bag of conchas and breakfast tacos in hand. You climb in his truck and buckle your seatbelt. Steve eyes your book bag before backing up.

“You’re not going to work are you?”

“It’s been three days.” you reply.

He looks at you like you’re crazy and you shift uncomfortably in your seat.

“It wasn’t that bad, you got there before anything actually happened,” you say.

He opens his mouth and breathes in before biting his lip and driving you to work without another word.

Steve walks you to your car every day after work. You don’t ask him to, he just does. It’s an unsaid expectation you both have. The first week is awkward, You both say almost nothing to each other. The second week though Steve finally breaks the silence.

“How have you been?”

You shrug.  

“I filed a complaint. He’s barred from the library and promised not to come near me.” you say.

Steve purses his lips.

“Do you feel safe though?”

“No...”

Steve stiffens and you reach out and grasp his shoulder.

“Thank you for walking me to my car.”

“Of course,” Steve closes the door for you and you drive away.

Steve cracked something on your exterior. You had been pushing off the feelings before Steve asked you how you were and now you can’t push them down any longer. You get in the shower and let the warm water wash over you. At first you feel raw and then angry and then for the first time since it happened you cry. It feels silly, to let something so seemingly small affect you so much. It could have been so much worse, it’s not like anything actually happened. Maybe that’s what scares you, not what happened but the implication of what could have. He invaded your space and intimidated you, making you feel small and helpless. If it wasn’t for Steve…

You let yourself fall apart until the water turns cold, then you pick yourself up and wrap yourself in a soft towel.

You look at the woman in your bathroom mirror and see someone who isn’t you. She’s broken and hurting, her eyes swollen from crying. She looks like she’s about to fall over from exhaustion. She didn’t deserve what happened to her. She has every right to feel upset and frightened about it. She didn’t deserve to have her safety threatened, nobody deserves that.

You didn’t deserve it.

You go to work the next day and the day after that. Days turn into weeks turn into months and the fear slowly leaches out of you as you reach out for help. The woman in your bathroom mirror deserves therapy and so do you.

Steve is always there. He walks you to your car every day. He starts texting you and you text him back. You go out to dinner with him, an ethiopian place this weekend and a mediteranian food truck the next. You form inside jokes and slowly you find yourself telling Steve little things about yourself.

“Why are you single?” You ask him one day.

“I had a girlfriend, she’s not with us anymore. After she… I guess I just… I wasn’t in a place for a long time to date anyone, I cringe now at some of the things I did while dating after she passed.”

He leans back and gives you a little smile.

“I’ll know when it’s the right time to jump back in - when it’s the right person.”

You open up about your past and he listens. He tells you about growing up as the smallest kid in his class, how he was bullied and how suddenly people started treating him differently when he hit a late growth spurt. You feel closer to him than you’ve ever felt with anyone.

---

Steve walks you to your car. Tomorrow is your off day and you stop to thank him and remind him you aren’t working the next few days. He’s looking at you and shifts on his feet, you furrow your brows in concern.

“It’s Valentine's day tomorrow.” He blurts out.

You take a step towards your car, knowing where this is going and not wanting it to go any further.

Steve is the one who holds you together, his friendship helping you in so many ways. He holds power over you though, power to throw you aside and break you apart. You can’t be cast away, not again.

“If you don’t have plans maybe I can make you something for dinner at my place?”

You turn away and grab your door handle.

“Sorry, I’m busy.”

“Oh of course, yeah that’s fine.”

You watch Steve bring his hand up to his forehead in the rearview mirror as you drive away.

That evening you write the text, it’s cowardly but you don’t think you can face him.

I don’t need you to walk me to my car anymore. Thank you for your help but I think our relationship should be professional from here on out.

What? No, we’re friends. Are you ok?

You turn your phone off and take a sleeping pill only to be woken in the middle of the night by pounding on your door.

Steve stands in your doorway. His eyes are red and his hair is messy. He takes a deep breath and runs his hand through his hair.

“You weren’t answering your phone.”

“I turned it off.”

Steve stares at you and you look away.

“What is this about?”

“What is what about?”

“We’re friends. I’m not going to stop being your friend just because you don’t want a relationship. I know this isn’t one sided, that you feel the same way about me. Why are you trying to push me away?”

You cross your arms and look down and he leans over, putting himself in your line of sight.

“If I let you in I’ll get hurt,” you confess.

“Why do you think that?”

‘I..” You stutter

It’s not one moment. Not any one breakup you’ve been through. It’s not even what happened months ago during the hurricane. It’s everything. It’s self hatred, overthinking and analyzing. It’s all the anxiety and stress of life that compounds into fear. Fear of failing and of loss, of getting hurt and breaking. You feel like the only way to keep yourself up and moving is by pushing him away.

“You’re so scared of being hurt but Y/N, you’re hurting. You’re doing to yourself the very thing you’re so scared of.”

Tears start forming, Steve brings his hand up and wipes one away before pulling you into a hug and letting you cry into his chest.

He shifts his face close to your ear and speaks softly.

“I have fear too, but you know what I’m the most scared of? I’m scared of not being your friend anymore. We don’t have to be in a relationship but please don’t cut me out.”

His voice hitches and his grip tightens.

“I love you, I care about you and always will.”

You pull back and look at him, a tear escapes one of his eyes and he promptly wipes it away.

“I’m scared,” you say.

“I am too.”

Your heart beats rapidly as you look up into Steve's bloodshot eyes and see the pain that you’re feeling mirrored back at you. Steve holds power over you but for the first time you realize that you hold that same power over him. You never thought you would be willing to put yourself in a vulnerable position again but somehow, here you are. You put your hand over your heart and feel the life pump out if it and through your veins.

reaching up tentatively, you bring your hand to his face grabbing his cheek gently. You stand up tall and slide your hand behind his neck, bringing him in and kissing him. Tension releases from both of you as you press your lips together, embracing in a warm hug. You pull away and he brings you in for another kiss, this time pushing you into your apartment and kicking the door closed behind him.

It’s a flurry of body parts and heat. You’re ripping off each other's clothing. Steve kisses your neck and you bring your hand to his chest and feel down his abdomen. He groans when you get to his dick and the next thing you know you’re on the bed arching your back as he slams into you. You open your mouth to moan but nothing comes out, Instead your eyes roll to the back of your head as an orgasm washes through you and carries you away.

“Fuck, I’m coming,” He says.

He stills on top of you and then looks down making eye contact before rolling beside you and pulling you into a hug.

“That was...” Steve starts

“Amazing.” you finish.

You pry yourself from Steve and walk to the bathroom to clean up, stopping at the mirror to look at your post sex appearance.

Maybe there’s no way around it. Maybe life will stick you in situations and force you forward against your will. You weren’t trying to let Steve into your life but somehow here he is.

For the first time you don’t don’t feel like this unlovable person. You’re not scared he’s going to leave you or that you’re going to ruin the relationship.

You have a feeling you’ve never truly experienced before and now it all makes sense. Somehow in the last few months you’ve learned to love. You look at yourself in the mirror and see someone worthy.

You’ve spent all your time and energy pushing people away when you should have been building yourself up. You thought that taking care of yourself meant hiding away and putting up a wall.

Self care isn’t a bubble bath or a glass of wine and It’s not something that happens out of fear or anxiety. It’s affording yourself the same kindness and forgiveness that you would give anyone else. It’s looking at yourself in the mirror and recognizing that you deserve to love and to be loved. It’s giving yourself permission to feel however you feel without guilt or shame. It’s love in its purest form and you deserve it.

You are not unlovable.

Steve walks up beside you and kisses your temple.

“When you said you loved me...” you start.

“I meant it.”  He says quickly.

You turn and look at him, biting your lip before saying something you’ve been so scared of for so long. You kiss his cheek and smile.

“I love you.”  

[ssatoritendou]

First Date

Pairing: kirishima/reader

eijirou kirishima 

Word count: 1.7k

+ summary: Your twin brother Tetsu sets you up with his hero bro Kirishima and you are both nervous for your first date 

Genre: Fluff 

Warning: none

"Are you nervous?" Tetsutetsu asked you. "Why would I be nervous? You said he was a nice guy, Tetsu and that he liked me. It's not like I didn't like him. I think he's cute but now you are scaring me." "I'm sorry for scaring you, sis. He kind of has a crush on you. Now how are my hero costume improvements coming?" "Good. The steel is the same material as your quirk. So when you use it and are fighting villains it’s like double the power." "Thanks, ____." He pulled you into a hug and a kiss on the head. "Now, don't be nervous. I know Kirishima he will be a gentleman tonight. I'll see you later." He left the support course lab. There was an explosion in the neighboring lab, meaning that it must have been one of Hatsume’s inventions. 

"Hatsume are you ok?" "Tetsutetsu there's no problem just showing this one from 1A one of my inventions that would work well with his quirk." "Hatsume how many times do I have to tell you to call me ____ because then people confuse me with my brother." "Anyways kid what did you think of the invention?" She completely ignored my comment and turned her attention to the kid on the ground. I leaned over the table and saw Kirishima on the ground. "It was cool but I don't think it's for me, Hatsume." He said he was being kind to her. "Is it just me or are there 2 of you and 2 of ____!" He shouted your name at the end shocked that you were here in the lab. You giggled a little bit. "I'll take him to Recovery Girl. Can't have you get detention again for injuring the students. Come on Kiri." You helped him on his feet only for him to stumble a little back onto you. "Sorry." He said turning as red as his hair "It's ok. Just save it for tonight." You smiled at him. "Huh? Oh right." He rubbed his head. He looked like he might explode. "I'm sorry if I'm making you nervous. It's just cute to see you all flustered. Anyhow here we are at Recovery Girl's office. I'll tell her why and you just lay down." "Thank you." "Anytime." You walked over to Recovery Girl's desk. "Hi Recovery Girl Eijirou Kirishima got injured in the support course lab it was my fault. I accidentally bumped into him and he fell and hit his head on the table." "Are you sure it wasn't Hatsume with another of her inventions because I heard that explosion?" "Uh, sorry I lied. I just don't want Hatsume to get in trouble." "It's ok dear. Let me fix your friend and I'll tell him that you brought him here. Now go back to class." She rushed you out of the office.

"Kendo, Momo what are you guys doing here? Did something happen?" "No ____," Momo said reassuringly. "Tetsutetsu sent us over to help you get ready." "I'll help with your makeup and Momo will help you with your outfit." "Um ok. I was thinking about something simple and comfortable. Kirishima said it was going to be casual." "Hm. I think I got something. It will go with your complexion." Momo said while creating the outfit with her quirk. It was a pink corduroy skirt-all with a white sweater for underneath. "You should wear your hair up." "Um ok.” You pulled your hair up into a high ponytail. Kendou then started doing your makeup. When she was done you put on your brown leather knee-high boots. "If Kirishima doesn't end up drooling over you then he must be an idiot," Kendo said. "And I would blame Kaminari and Sero," Momo added. "Thank you, guys." You walked downstairs to see Kirishima waiting for you. Tetsu was there too. You gave him a look. 'What the hell are you doing here?' 'I wanted to make sure you were taken care of.' 'You aren't dad!' "Um, what are you guys doing?" Kirishima said. "It's a twin thing," Tetsu said. "You hurt her I will seriously kill you Kirishima." "Tetsu I suggest you take Kendou and Momo back to their dorms. After all, it's the manly thing to do." He rolled his eyes and went upstairs to retrieve the two girls. "I'm sorry for him. He thinks because we live in the dorms he has to be the father figure." "That is the manly thing to do." He said with a laugh. He looked at you for a minute. "You look...you look very nice. Beautiful, I mean. Damn, why can't I speak?" "Kirishima you look handsome." You kissed his cheek. "So where are you taking me?" "I was thinking about the arcade. But if you don't want to." "No that sounds perfect. Let's go." He held your hand as you walked to the train to go to the nearby mall that had this huge arcade. "We can eat before playing some games or we can play games and then eat?" "How about whoever ends up with the least amount of tickets has to buy the food?" "That doesn't seem fair. I mean I'm the man I should-" "No Kirishima. Just because you are a man isn't a good enough reason come on it will be fun." You whined like a child. "Ok. Ok." The two of you played a lot of games but when Kirishima heard your stomach growl he knew it was time to stop. Both of you counted the tickets. You had sadly lost but you paid for the meal. "So Tetsutetsu tells me that you can control metal with your mind." "Yeah pretty boring I guess compared to the hero course students." "Are you kidding my quirk! Your quirk seems so awesome. I really didn't like my quirk or ever think I have what it takes to be a hero." "Kirishima that's ridiculous. I mean Tetsu’s quirk is similar to yours but I think you are superior and you have natural people skills. You care about others and put them before yourself. That's the making of a great pro." "How is my quirk superior to Tetsutetsu’s?" "Easy. I can't control you with my mind and you won the arm wrestling match during the sports festival. I mean the things I got away with as a child because he did them. The number of cookies he has stolen for me." "What made you decide to be in the support course?" "I always liked making things with my quirk. Tetsu did convince me to take the hero course exam I passed it but I wasn't really interested in it. I rather make the pros better at their job than being involved in combat. Sorry about Hatsume earlier." "Don't worry I think all first years are used to it by now. She a crazy person." "Yep everyone knows that." "You were willing to take the fall for her?" "I didn't want her to get into trouble again. I mean if you had the chance to help Bakugou not get into a fight with someone wouldn't you try?" "I see your point. Damn Bakugou can be such a hot head sometimes but it is useful when it comes to combat." "Uh-huh sure but that's not all it takes to be a hero. You have to deal with civilians and you have to be kind to them. Bakugou isn't really good at reading people's emotions. But I barely know the guy he can be different with his friends." You shrugged. "I mean he can't be all that bad if you risked yourself for him." "He has a softer side when it comes to his friends. He's my best friend." "I'm guessing you are his." "I would like to think so." He said with a smile. "I have to use the bathroom I'll be right back." You left the table and went to the bathroom.

When you were done you saw a little girl crying looking around. "Hey, are you ok?" "I can't find my mommy." She sniffled. "Can you help me?" "Yeah sure. Maybe my friend can help too." You went back to the table to see Kirishima with a big teddy bear. "Huh, I came back with a teddy bear and you came back with a child. I guess you win?" "Um, my little friend here can't find her mommy. I figured that a hero in-training would be able to help me find her." He blushed a little. "Ok! Now little girl what is your name?" "______." "It's very nice to meet you ______. I'm Kirishima and this is ____. Now, do you remember the last place you saw your mommy?" "By the bowling alley." "We should go there first." He picked up ______. "Would you mind holding the teddy bear?" "No." You picked up the teddy bear and followed Kirishima. When you approached the bowling alley. "Do you see your mommy anywhere?" You asked leaning over to the girl in Kirishima’s arms. ______ looked around the alley. "There." She pointed at the women screaming at the manager. "Um, excused me?" The woman whipped her head towards you and took ______ out of Kirishima's arms. "Oh thank god you are alright. ______ never wander away from me again. Thank you so much. I hope she wasn't a pain." "It wasn't a problem ma'am," Kirishima said. "Thank you again." She said before leaving. "Bye ____! Bye Kirishima!" ______ yelled. "She was cute," Kirishima said. "We should probably start going back to school. I'll carry the bear." "You don't have to. Thank you for the bear." "It's the least I could do you did pay for dinner." "It was my pleasure," You said with a smile. "You know how early you said you thought it was cute when I got flustered?" "Yeah." "You are cute when you are smiling." You blushed a little. "Thank you." He walked you to the dorm room doors. "This is my stop. I had really fun tonight Kiri can we do it again next Friday?" "Yes of course. You can call me Eijirou." "Ok. See you later Eijirou." You kissed his cheek and walked back inside. Only to be met by Tetsutetsu. "Coming home late?" "We helped a little girl find her mom. It was the manly thing to do." "When you say that you make me feel bad for scolding you." "That's my point. Go back to your dorm before Vlad gives you detention." "You sound like Mom." "You sound like her too." "Ahh! I was trying to sound like Dad!" he yelled in defeat.

[softboywriting]

Love Drunk | Shawn Mendes

Summary: Shawn gets drunk at Brian’s birthday party and you take him home, but not without him getting a little goofy on you. [drinking] [established relationship] [drunk shenanigans]

Word Count: 1.6k

|Masterlist In Bio|

Dealing with drunk Shawn is always a bit of a headache, but depending on what kind of drunk, it's more or less bearable. Tonight it's tequila drunk. That means forgetful, clingy and emotional. It's Brian's birthday and you're all out at a club in downtown Toronto. Drinks have been flowing all night, partying and rowdiness is at an all time high and you are sober as can be. Why? Because you're pregnant, still very early, only two months, but pregnant nonetheless.

Initially Shawn wasn't going to drink. He said he wanted to have a few beers and just hang out with the guys. Then one friend after another began buying rounds of shots, and Shawn being the fun loving guy he is, took said shots. He did check in with you though, asked if you were alright with him getting fucked up with Brian for the night. Of course you were fine with it. It's his best friend's birthday, a once a year type of thing. No problem. Until the tequila rounds started flowing.

Three hours into the party and you've lost Shawn. It's not hard, the club is packed. It's after midnight and you're feeling tired, wanting to go home and curl up, but you know you can't leave Shawn without notifying him. So you wade out onto the dance floor to find him.

A solid three minutes passe before you find Shawn, Brian and Matt dancing with a group of women. You aren't worried in the least, Shawn is loyal to a fault. He'd die before laying hands on another woman and you know that, no matter how wasted he is.

"Shawn!" You shout, voice lost in the pounding music.

Shawn flips his hair and laughs at something Matt says, clearly not having heard you.

"Shawn, hey!" You grab his shoulder and he turns, cheeks flushed and eyes glazed. "Oh buddy."

"H-hey." Shawn smiles and you raise your eyebrows. It's not just a 'hey I'm happy to see you" smile, but his flirty little smirk-y smile. He's toasted.

"I'm gonna head out okay? Get a ride with one of the guys’ Uber if you want to stay." You lay your hand on his arm and he twists his finger around a bit of hair laying across your shoulder, the other rests on your hip and he steps in, eyes raking over you. It's been ages since he's pulled these sort of moves on you.

"So soon? Can you stay a little longer? I just wanna talk." He steps in even closer and gives you that look. The one where you know he's blitzed out of his mind and trying desperately to flirt.

"I'm very tired. We can talk at home?"

Shawn's eyes go wide. "You wanna take me home? Damn."

"Shawn. You're flirting with me. Are you alright?"

"I'm perfectly fine."

You raise your eyebrows. "Uh huh. What's my nickname?" This is a test, to see what he comes up with. If it’s Honey then he’s completely plastered, if it’s Princess then he’s drunk but mostly cognizant, if it’s Sweetheart then he’s just tipsy.

"Baby?" Shaw furrows his eyebrows and sighs with a shake of his head. "Honey. You're Honey."

You let out a little chuckle. "Oh boy, you're really smashed."

"You're really pretty."

"Yep you're gone." You wrap your arms around him and he snuggles into you. "Sorry guys I'm taking him with me."

Matt and Brian protest briefly but are distracted by their lovely lady friends.

"You smell good." Shawn buries his face in your neck. "Like sunshine."

"Thank you big guy." You try to walk him toward the bar away from the crowd but he doesn't move. "We gotta go, you have to walk Shawn."

"I can't. I'm so dizzy." He grips your back and you struggle to support his weight. "I wanna go home."

"I'm trying to do that." You sigh and pull his head up off your shoulder. "But you're being difficult."

Shawn stares at you, eyes struggling to focus. "I love you."

"I love you too bud."

"I wanna marry you." He pets your cheek haphazardly. "You're so pretty."

You stifle a giggle and grab the hand on your face. "You've already done that, see?" You wiggle your fingers around his hand and he glances at the ring around your finger.

"You're married?!"

"To you!"

Shawn steps back and you reach out to catch him as he stumbles back into a group of people dancing. "Holy shit I'm married." He turns to a guy on his left and he grabs his shoulder. "I'm married! That's my wife! That's my fuckin' wife!"  

You wave awkwardly and pull Shawn away. "Come on, you're way too wasted."

"You're my wife." He coos and leans on you. "I'm so lucky."

"Mmhmm." You guide him to the exit and out to the car.

Shawn slumps down in the passenger side and you close the door. When you get in he's playing with your mirror ornament that is a crystal on a chain.

"Wanna know the best part of being married?" You ask as you make your way toward the apartment.

"Mm?" He grunts, focusing on the crystal in his hands.

"You're gonna be a dad."

Shawn is silent for a full five minutes. It's as if he's processing what you said, like it's the first time he's heard this although it's definitely not. Just as you pull into the parking garage he speaks. "Is...is it my baby?"

"Yes, it's your baby."

"Where is it?"

You park and he is staring at you. "It's still in my tummy."

"But you're not pregnant?"

"I am." You laugh and rub your stomach. "It's still just small, like a tiny grape so I'm not showing yet."

Shawn leans back and you reach over the console to grab his hand.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm so fucking drunk." He closes his eyes and he's got tears running out of the corners of them. "I need to lay down. I have too many feelings."

"Are you gonna be sick?"

"Maybe."

_____________________

Ten minutes later you get Shawn up to the apartment and in bed. He's still clothed but it's a start. He passes out as soon as he hits the mattress and you pull off his shoes and go to get cleaned up for bed.

An hour or two passes and you've showered, cleaned yourself up for bed, made some snacks for Shawn when he wakes up, and folded some laundry. The snacks are just peanut butter and celery and some carrots with cheese cubes. It may seem ridiculous but it's easier to make those and put them in the fridge where Shawn will see them than it is to deal with him rummaging the fridge and inevitably ending up with a carton of ice cream he leaves out or a bag of chips he leaves open somewhere.

"Princess?"

You turn and look up from where you're loading the dishwasher. Shawn is leaning on the kitchen island. "You're awake." He only calls you princess when he's sobered up a bit. The nap has done some good.

"Mmm."

You cross the kitchen and cup his cheek. "You feeling okay?"

"Yeah."

"I was just about to go to bed."

He closes his eyes.

You lean forward and give him a little kiss. "Come on, back to bed."

"You stole a kiss!"

"What?" You laugh, tugging his hand. "I stole it?"

"Give it back."

"Shawn."

He stumbles forward and you wrap your arms around him as he backs you into the wall. "Give my kiss back."

"How do I do that?"

"Unkiss me."

You pet his hair back and he looks so distraught. "You're serious? I can't unkiss you."

Shawn groans. "Yeah huh." He purses his lips and you give them a peck. "See?"

"Okay?" You giggle and he smiles. "Happy?"

He nods.

"Will you go to bed now?"

He nods and you lead him to the bedroom. He flops down in bed, letting out a long sigh. "I'm sorry I got so drunk."

"Why?" You sit beside him and pull back the blankets. "It's alright to get a little crazy once in a while."

"But you can't drink. It's not fun taking care of me."

"I don't mind. Like I said, it's not like this is a regular thing."

Shawn crawls up the bed and you cover him with the blankets before you get in. "I love you."

"I know. I love you too."

He traces his finger over your lips and you smile, which makes him smile in return. "How did I get so lucky?"

"I don't know," you giggle, "but I do know you need to go back to sleep. Enough talking."

He strokes your hair and pulls you against him. Now comes the clingy part of his tequila drunk mannerisms, and arguably the best part. He tangles his legs with yours and holds your chest and head flush to his body. You just curl into him and let him get this out of his system.

"We're really having this baby huh?"

You nod and he noses your hair. "We sure are."

"I hope it's a boy....no, a girl. I don't care as long as it's a human."

"A human?" You laugh. "I'm not having an alien baby unless you have a secret I should know about."

"Oh no, I've exposed myself." He chuckles sleepily. "My plans are for nothing now."

"You're such a weirdo."

"Mmm your weirdo." He rubs his hand up and down your spine. "You wouldn't change a thing."

"I sure wouldn't."

Shawn goes quiet after that, seemingly having passed out again. You're exhausted as well. In the morning he will be hung over and he will probably feel guilty and want to spoil you to make up for it, but you won't let him. He already treats you enough, it's his turn to be the one who is spoiled and you'll make sure he is.

End

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Thank you so much for reading. Please reblog and share if you read/enjoyed it. Shout out to delicateshawn for making my header pic! -A

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