#guy who wants to be a housewife so goddamn bad but instead he has to deal with the horrors

[waitineedaname]

just realized "in another life, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you" could be a bingqiu line. coughing up blood about it.

[longitud-de-onda]

Being Steve’s cousin and having an enemies to lovers relationship with Javi headcanons pls ;)

i loved this and it got kind of long, oops. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i don’t think anyone’s complaining.

Your company is opening an office in Colombia and you’ve been asked to assist with the transition. A two months in Bogotá sounds like a dream and you’re even more excited to see your cousin, Steve. 

He and his wife have offered up their guest bedroom, and you’re thrilled at not having to work out a living situation. 

Plus you and Steve were best friends growing up. You went to the same elementary school and were close until your family moved away. You still got to visit him all the time because your moms were two of the closest sisters in existence. You wondered often how they could get along so well. You hated your siblings growing up.

You finally make it down to Colombia and after a 24 hour grace period for the jet lag, Steve is begging to take you out to his favorite restaurant.

Connie loves watching the two of you smile like idiots while bickering, and calls in the reservation before you even agree to going.

When she says a reservation for four you stall, and she explains that Steve is best friends with his coworker, and that you have got to meet him, since he’ll probably be around more than half the time anyways. They’re practically like family now. 

That night you’re waiting for this mysterious coworker at the restaurant, absentmindedly snacking on some appetizers while Connie and Steve act way too cute then should ever be allowed in public.

When Javier comes in with his tight pants and leather jacket you know exactly what kind of man he is, which is only confirmed by the way he greets you with a sickening grin.

“Well who do we have here?”

And you kind of want to puke because first of all, ew? And second of all? Connie said he was always around and if you had to be with the sort of guy who would be trying to get into your pants, you wanted a flight back to the states. 

Things only get worse as the night goes on and the conversations slows, causing Javier to ditch the table to go up to the bar and start hitting on some poor girl who actually falls for his charm and is all over him.

He turns around to wink at Steve before making his exit, the woman clinging to his arm.

Steve just shakes his head and chuckles.

“You’ll get used to it. That’s just Javi.”

“It’s disgusting, Steve.”

Thankfully things get busy with the DEA and you’ve become bogged down with new employee training so you don’t really get the chance to be bothered by Javier for a week. 

You have to go into the embassy to fill out some paperwork for US companies in foreign countries. You had cooked something for lunch and packed a second container, thinking that you might get the chance to drop some off for Steve. He hasn’t been home for a meal in a few days and you know home-cooked food can make a big difference.

The smile on his face at the bright red tupperware is worth all the pages you had to read that morning.

He can’t stop to talk for too long since he’s got way too much work.

Javier returns to the office, muttering about a bad meeting with someone from the CIA and Steve laughs. 

“I’m gonna head back, nice seeing you, Steve,” you smile.

Javier only just notices that you’re back. He takes in the container on the desk and Steve’s newly refreshed expression.

“Playing housewife now?”

You almost punch him. 

Instead you just walk out of the office.

As you leave you hear them talking.

“You really don’t like her, huh?”

“She’s too much of a goody-two-shoes.”

“Careful, Javi, she’s my best friend. And she’s family.”

“Doesn’t make her an interesting person.”

You try to forget about it until a week later when you’re back with some coffee for Steve. When you get to his office, Javier’s the only one in.

“Can you give this to Steve when he gets back?”

“Do it yourself.”

“I would but he’s not here, obviously.”

“Fine.” 

You scoff. This guy’s really an idiot, “Fine.”

A day later Steve and Connie invite you to go to a bar with them to unwind. That lasts all of thirty minutes, as the happy couple disappears into the bathroom, leaving Javier and you groaning.

“They’re the worst. I hate going out with them,” he says and you’re surprised.

“You hate it too?”

“It’s like they’re rubbing it in everyone’s face, how perfect everything is.”

You find yourself laughing, and the night goes by surprisingly fast as you discover that Steve has been on both your cases about being single. Steve’s been trying to match you up with random guys from the embassy, and has been dropping all these hints to Javier that he should be settling down by now, not out sleeping with informants all the damn time.

You go to sleep that night wishing you weren’t thinking about Javier and his goddamn smile.

You start going out with the three more often, teasing Javier when he gets rejected by girls and having him complain when you get drinks bought for you all the damn time and reject every single one of the guys.

“You’re exactly like all the girls who are ruining my night.”

Secretly, you're glad every time he’s turned down. 

Your return flight is coming sooner than you expected, and two weeks out you get an offer to stay in Bogotá for a two year contract. But this has really just been a vacation, a nice one, but you’ve got a life back home, right? 

Apartment. Job. A friend or two. (Maybe not really a life if you were willing to admit it. The past few weeks have got you living more than you have in the previous few years.)

One week away and Steve and Connie are out for a date. You’re spending the evening with a microwave dinner and some tv when a knock on the door reveals Javier with two beers in hand. You haven’t exactly been the type to hang out together without Steve facilitating things, but he’s here and you’re not complaining.

After sitting and talking for the better part of an hour he asks you about the suitcase in the corner of the room. It’s one of the two you brought down, and it’s all packed up for your flight. 

“You’re really leaving, aren’t you?”

“Yes?’

He lasts maybe another five minutes before excusing himself. You could tell something changed. 

You sit, sipping at the bottle for a little longer, thinking about leaving Colombia. It’s a lot sadder than you had expected it to be. 

And then you realize you don’t like the idea of waking up and knowing there wasn’t the chance of Javier nagging you about something or telling you off for being an asshole to another “well-intentioned guy.”

You have to do something so you leave the apartment, run down the stairs and practically slam down his door. 

Javier answers, a confused look crossing his face and he opens his mouth.

But he can’t get a word out because your lips are on his and your hands are around his neck. When he realizes what’s happening you can tell because he reaches on hand up to your face and the other around your waist and the kiss deepens in intensity. 

You pull back.

“What was that?”

“I can’t leave, Javi. I can’t leave you. I can’t ignore this.”

“Really?”

“No. I’m going to take the job down here. I—I think I might love you.”

“Thank god,” he exhales and grins. “I thought I was the only one.”

[fatesdeepdive]

Entry 14: Groans of Increasing Discomfort

Heading back to the castle, it seems I’ve accumulated a ton of new buildings to buy. I can buy a statue of Mozu which probably costed more than her entire village, a ballista and shuriken launcher to use in castle battles, a bunch of puppets to give me nightmares (they fight for you in castle battles too I guess), a shop to buy new units (both generics and clones of the soldiers I already have), and a hot spring. Because fanservice. You can run into other units in there, everyone is in their underwear and blushing, half of the decisions that were made in this game’s development were solely for the sake of horniness, yada yada yada. I actually tried to leave and the game stopped me, because Sakura was showing up and it’s necessary to get that bath time with the teenage girl. The hot springs does have a use, admittedly, but it won’t become apparent for a few chapters.

Support: Lady Corrin/Reina

C: Corrin sees Reina talking to an old man and asks her about it. Reina explains that he reminds her of her parents, who cut her out of their life when she became a soldier. And also, apparently, don’t give a shit about her being the personal retainer to the goddamn Queen. Actually, wait, hold on. Where the hell was Reina when Mikoto got blown up? You know what? Her parents should be ashamed of her, she’s a terrible bodyguard.

B: Corrin tells Reina she should visit her parents. Which makes sense; Corrin points out that she’s an orphan and wishes for any relationship with a parent, no matter how strained. Reina tells Corrin that she became a soldier because she really, really, really likes killing people. Corrin volunteers to find out how Reina’s parents are doing.

A: Corrin tells Reina that her parents are doing fine. Reina retcons the last conversation by revealing that she became a soldier to protect her family’s peasants. Nowadays, though, it’s all about that murder.

Review: This one was fine. Corrin wanting to help Reina is a nice bit of characterization, but there isn’t much more to say about this one.

Now, you may be wondering why I referred to Corrin as Lady Corrin in the last bit. Reina actually has completely different supports depending on Corrin’s sex. Most characters have identical supports with Corrin, or if not that just minor dialogue changes (For example, Camilla and Laslow, off the top of my head). But characters like Reina, who can only support Corrin, get two conversations. I suppose it’s for the best, considering those characters would otherwise be incredibly out of focus as opposed to merely extremely out of focus.

Support: Lord Corrin/Reina

C: Corrin sees Reina carrying an apron, which weirds him out, because of the whole murder hobo thing.

B: Reina reveals her sheltered noblewoman housewife in training turned soldier backstory and says that the apron was a gift from her parents before they cut her out.

A: Reina says that her parents cried when she became a knight and that she keeps the apron out of gratitude for them.

S: Corrin, off screen, goes back to Hoshido to talk to Reina’s parents. Apparently they’re proud of her. And he asked to marry her, which she accepts, because she cannot imagine life without him. Apparently.

Review: So, these are kinda the same support? I mean, the actual words are different, but they cover the same information. It’s weird that they were split into two conversations. Whatever. The second one is better, because it gives this really fun characterization of Reina being a friendly team mom when she isn’t stabbing people so she can hear them gasp their last breaths. Also, it resolves the plotline. On the other hand, the S-Rank is really mediocre. Reina saying she relies on Corrin daily is ridiculous, given what we’ve seen. Overall, the problem with Reina is that she just has these two conversations. And one with Kanna, I guess, but that one is recycled from other characters. If Reina was a more fleshed out character that interacted with other characters, she might work as a character. But, as it stands, all she has is her recruitment and two mediocre supports.

Support: Hinata/Takumi

C: Hinata kicks down the door to Takumi’s room so he can tell him that he’s going to start a fighting tournament so he can beat people up.

B: Hinata beats people up.

A: Hinata reveals that he’s beating people up to cheer up Takumi, because Takumi looks happy when he cheers him on. I feel like he could have, I don’t know, asked Takumi how to cheer him up in advance instead of just assuming and doing something he said he didn’t want, but whatever. The two bond over Hinata beating people up.

Review: I think this one helped me hone in on why a lot of Fire Emblem supports don’t work. Supports are, by their very nature, just dialogue. So, when you get a support like this, that relies heavily on something happening, it ends up as telling not showing. That’s why the best supports rely on dialogue rather than explain something that happened off screen.

Support: Kagero/Saizo

C: Kagero and Saizo get into an argument over how to train royal guards, with Kagero pointing out that Saizo’s hard as nails “be ready to die for the monarchy” speech just stressed people out. Saizo blames the new recruits for being inexperienced.

B: Saizo endangers the life of his men to succeed on a mission and Kagero calls him out on it. Saizo points out that victory requires sacrifice and war is unforgiving. The two of them point out that they’ve had this exact argument again and again, and it’s the reason they broke up when they were dating.

A: Kagero and Saizo win a big battle together and admit that they work well together.

S: Saizo points out that their relationship failed because they kept trying to change each other and forgot that they loved each other. The two of them decide to give it another shot.

Review: This one has a much more solemn and reserved tone than most supports, which helps it stand out. It isn’t great, but it has a good tone and I actually don’t dislike Saizo and Kagero as a couple. Them being a flawed couple that broke up over their differences, then trying it again after maturing and becoming more rounded people is a lot more realistic than most relationships in this game.

Birthright Chapter 12: Dark Reunion

The gang arrives in Cyrkensia, a city in Nestra, a country that I forgot existed because this is the only part of the game where it is mentioned. Cyrkensia is a popular vacation spot with a big opera house that appeared in the intro.

A kitsune named Kaden goes up to the party and explains that he’s in town to repay a favor to someone. This introduction feels like when you introduce a new player halfway through a D&D campaign and they quickly explain their deal after walking up to the party.

Kaden introduces his friend Layla, who explains that she’s a singer at the opera house, but can’t perform tonight because her mother is dying. Also she’s singing for King Garon, the evil king who is on vacation a week after starting a brutal war. Azura volunteers to perform in Layla’s steed so the party can do some patricide. Now, you may be thinking, did the game do the stupid trope of having Azura and Layla look identical? Surprisingly, no, they didn’t. Everything else about this chapter is so cliche I assumed they would, but they actually remembered Zola has illusion magic that the party never uses. Also, because we helped the person Kaden has to help, he now owes us a favor, and will totally kill dozens of soldiers in a war he doesn’t give a shit about if we ask him to.

Kaden

Kaden is a Kitsune, this game’s equivalent of Laguz or Taguel from past games. He wields a special weapon called a Beast Stone that allows him to fight by turning into a big ass fox. His personal skill heals units who heal him. He’s a glass canon who does extra damage to cavalry, giving him an interesting niche. His human design is fine, but not remarkable. His fox design is cool, especially regarding the blue fire that floats around him; that said, the spikes on the legs are weird. Personality wise, he seems to be a go lucky idiot who stumbled into joining us.

When the party arrives at the opera house, Corrin notices Elise, who looks sad. Azura, who doesn’t look like Layla for the player, goes on stage. Azura sings the only song she knows, the magic one that breaks mind control, which makes Garon...groan in increasing discomfort, which makes me also feel discomforted. Also Azura does a bunch of crazy water magic, which is a bit extra.

Garon orders his troops to capture us, because Zola betrayed us. Gasp. Shocking. Zola does admittedly beg Garon to spare us. Garon kills him for even suggesting it, right in front of his young daughter, because Garon is a cartoon supervillain. Zola dies begging Corrin to forgive him and Garon calls Corrin weak for having sympathy. Takumi threatens to kill Garon, but Corrin points out that they need to leave if they want to live. Which is smart; Garon has ridiculously high stats.

This battle sees our units fighting on boats floating in the opera house, which is a cool setting for a battle. On turn three, some reinforcements arrive. Xander, who’s still pissed about the whole traitor thing. With him are Peri, a cavalier with cotton candy hair, and...is that Inigo? That’s Inigo, from Awakening. That’s fucking Inigo! What is Inigo doing here, and more importantly, why is he working for the very obviously evil bad guys?

There’s a Dragon Vein you can use to freeze all the water, which would make this level easier, if it wasn’t already a broken easy level. To beat this level, you need to get Corrin to a specific spot. Corrin can’t walk on water, so you need to fight through an onslaught of tough enemies. There’s just one problem: Hinoka or Subaki can carry Corrin directly to the end. I fought the enemies, because why not, but I didn’t have to.

I ignored Garon because he’s able to one shot literally every unit in my army, but I did decide to take on team Xander. Side note, I looked up Garon’s battle quote after the fact, and he says this to Corrin: “I may not be your father, but I will slap you down like a child.” I take back everything bad I ever said about Garon.

Peri, as it turns out, is a sadistic sociopath, because Nohr. Inigo...excuse me, Laslow, blushes when we stab him. And Xander steals Inigo’s famous crit quote from the Princess Bride.

Peri and Laslow went down easy, but Xander was almost as bad as Garon. Even with his bonus against cavalry, Kaden only did one point of damage per hit. I had to resort to the classic strategy of throwing disposable soldiers at him until he was weak enough for Corrin to Dragonstone.

This was a great map, with a creative setting, multiple ways to approach it, tough bosses, and an exploit that makes it completely skippable. Still, it’s the only Birthright chapter with a creative goal, so it deserves a little credit.

After escaping the opera house, Xander chases after us, despite being defeated ten seconds earlier. Elise gets in his way, telling him that if he’s going to fight someone, he should fight her. As Corrin runs, Xander warns that it is her destiny to fight him.

After escaping Xander again, Corrin finds Azura collapsed on the ground, exhausted. She’s going to die at the end of the game, isn’t she?

[crue-sixx]

Save the Girl

Title:  Save the Girl

Author: tiddly-winx

Fandom: The Dirt (Motley Crue)

Summary: The reader is getting married to her fiancee Jerry and Tommy has feelings for her, but thinks that she's happy with Jerry so he doesn't say anything.  Looks can be deceiving though.

Warning: Domestic abuse mention, swearing, fluff.  If any of these makes you uncomfortable please don't read.

Things were all ready for the wedding, just a few weeks away.  You were happy to be marrying Jerry, the love of your life.  He had his moments, but he was only human.  We all have our faults, like you couldn't cook for shit or do housework correctly.  Of course, you'd never even thought of doing housework when you were going to university for finance.  You were the top of your class, graduating valedictorian will a full ride to the best business school in the country.  Then you met Jerry and everything changed.

He told you of all the things he'd do for you when your first got together- get a job so you'd never have to work, stay home and take care of the house and eventual children.  That seemed like a beautiful dream, then he started doing things to hinder your chances at being your own person.  Like hiding your acceptance letter from business school and the accompanying forms for you to fill out.  He only mentioned it after you asked about it, which of course was after you called the school to see what was taking so long.  By that time, the acceptance date had passed.

You got into a screaming match with him, and in the middle of a sentence, that was the first time he hit you.  The both of you were stunned into silence, before you left the apartment you shared with him and went to your mother's house.  There, you got yet another shock when she said "It's your fault he hit you.  You should give up on your silly dream and settle down" you mother had always been the traditional housewife and all you saw was a miserable shell of what she used to be.  You then left her house and went to a hotel for a few days.

Then you made the biggest mistake of your life-you went crawling back to Jerry begging for forgiveness.  He took you in and said "Now don't make me hit you again, Y/N" you looked to the ground in shame.  He let you apply to the school again, but he had to know all the names of your teachers, classmates, when you had class and when you'd be home.  If you were even a few minutes late, you'd be in one of your lover's quarrels again.

In time, you got a job in an accounting firm as a financial advisor to one Mick Mars, the guitarist from the notorious rock band Motley Crue.  He seemed cool at first but when you saw notes in his financial record for $10,000 loans under the tag "snacks" you knew you were dealing with a substance abuser.  You looked up at him during one of your weekly meetings and said "Mr. Mars, if you keep taking out loans for 'snacks' you will be bankrupt in four months" you didn't care about what he did, but if he didn't have enough money to pay you to keep his checkbook balanced then you'd have to drop one of your most notable clients-an event that would have ended your career.

"Okay Miss L/N" he sighed, getting up with a grunt.  He had disclosed his medical condition to you, and you felt for him.  You would make sure that he'd have enough money for medications and treatment, even if it meant that you'd secretly put some of your own money in his account.  He remained quiet a moment then asked "Would you like a drink with me when you get off?"

You were taken aback by this offer, but it had been a long time since you had a drink with another person.  Jerry never let you go anywhere without him-even to your mother's house on holidays.  He'd even call you at work multiple times a day to see what you were doing, and if you didn't answer he'd interrogate you when you got home, accuse you of cheating on him and he'd hit you again.  "Just a quick drink wouldn't hurt" you smiled at Mick, since you'd be off the clock in a few minutes anyway.

When you drank with him, you found him much more interesting than you originally thought.  He was only a year or two older than you and you'd been his financial advisor for over a year now.  You felt a real connection with him and he was a perfect gentleman.  You started talking about Jerry, how he never lets you do anything and you always had to be on call for him.  Mick looked at you with utter shock.  "If he's such an asshole to you, then why are you with him?"

"I don't know" you answered truthfully, playing with your engagement ring "he's the only one who talked to me when I was in school, the only man to show interest in a nerd like me..."

"That's not a reason to marry someone" he told you "Hell, even dating him sounds like a nightmare!" he laughed, but you just shuddered.  You became very uncomfortable at that point and excused yourself, saying you'd see him at next weeks client meeting.

After you'd left, Mick scolded himself.  "I'm such a goddamned idiot..." he had liked you from the first client meeting.  You were intelligent, courteous and explained everything in layman's terms so he'd understand what you were doing for him.  He was quite impressed at the delicate way you told him to stop with the "snack" runs.  The last few financial advisors he'd hired cursed him out and dropped him as a client after a month.  He sat at the bar and sighed, taking a swig of vodka.

Jerry was waiting for you when you came in "Who was that old dude you were just with at the bar?" in the calmest tone he could muster.  The pit of your stomach fell through, knowing that tone meant a beating.

"Just one of my clients" you choked out "we had a weekly meeting today and he invited me for a drink afterward..."

"Is that so?" Jerry got up and grabbed your wrist tightly "are you fucking him too?"

"Jerry, let go" you winced "You're hurting me..."

"ARE YOU FUCKING HIM LIKE THE LITTLE SLUT YOU ARE?!" this was the last thing you remember before he hit you again.

The next morning, you surveyed the damage to your face-a black eye and a busted lip.  Your eyes started tearing up as you put on make-up to cover the injuries.  The looks you got at the office were a mixture of sadness, horror and pity.  This you expected after a beating, but what you didn't expect was Mick Mars coming in to apologize for saying what he did last night.  He took a good look at your face "What the fuck happened?!"

"It's nothing..." you assured him.

"A black eye and split lip isn't nothing!  Who did that to you?!"

It was then your best friend Lily walked by and answered "Her good for nothing, woman beatin' fiancee!"

"Lily!" you scolded "I told you that in confidence!"

"Yeah!" Lily shot back "I am confident that man'll kill you if you don't leave his sorry ass!  Hell, you can come stay with me a while!  Me and Johnny love havin' you around!" Johnny being her husband.

Mick looked like he was about to explode in rage "Or me!  I wouldn't mind having you in Mars Mountain with me!" that being the name he'd chosen for his residence, as he bought a whole mountain for himself.  Lily looked Mick up and down in a playful, quizzical manner.  He grew annoyed and said "What?"

She smiled and said "Nothin'" she shuffled some papers on the desk "Just that I've been seein' the glances you been eye'n Y/N with ever since she took you on as a client" her tone had changed from serious to flirty.

He blushed a little and said "I have no idea what you're talking about..."

"Don't play dumb!  You've wanted to hold her in your arms for a long, long time!"

You too were blushing, you having the same thought from time to time.  Just the other night, you dreamed that you were getting married to him instead of Jerry, and you were happy.  You cleared your throat and said "Mr. Mars, if you have no other business today, please leave..."

He bit his lip and showed himself out, after he left you chewed out Lily for bringing your personal business to a client.  "Girl, when are you gonna see that man isn't fit to be your pool boy much less your husband!  Does he have to put you in the hospital for you to leave him?!"

"Jerry loves me!  He just gets rough sometimes!" you defended him.

Lily stared at you like you had seven heads.  "That isn't what love is, Y/N!  He loves the control you let him have over you!�� That man you just put out" she motioned to the door "that man loves you!"

"How do you know that?" you asked sarcastically.

"Because he looks at you the same way my husband still looks at me after ten years of marriage!"  she slammed her hands on the desk "he even offered his home to you, you stupid bitch!"

That was all you could take for today, so you informed your supervisor that you'd be taking the rest of the day off and to cancel all your appointments.  This was a rare thing for you so you'd been granted the off time right away.  You went back to the apartment and went to sleep.  When you woke up, Jerry had come home and asked "What are you doing home?" in the calm, dangerous voice.

"I had a bad day at work, so I came home to chill out" you wiped your eyes.

"Were you waiting for your other boyfriend?  The old guy from the bar?" he asked.

"No!" you got up to defend yourself "Yes, he came by the office but that was to apologize for something he said yesterday!" you then felt his hands around your neck and squeeze.  You were gasping for air, hearing the words "slut", "tramp" and "I'll kill you" before the world began to shrink and spin, until there was only black.

The next week, Mick went to his meeting with Miss L/N as usual, but he was greeted by Lily, who had taken all of Y/N appointments for her.  In her most professional voice, she said "I'm very sorry Mr. Mars, but Miss L/N is indisposed for a few days" she was writing something on a note card and slide it over to him "If you'd like to reschedule for when she comes back, I'd be more than happy to set that up for you!"

"No, that's okay" he read the card, putting it in his coat pocket "Please let her know that I stopped by" he shook Lily's hand.

"Go save that woman from that devil, ya hear me?" he nodded and walked to a payphone, where he dialed three numbers and asked for the same favor from all three recipients.  They all know it had to be serious-Mick Mars never asked for favors.

The note card read "L.A. General Hospital.  Room 342" he knew from experience that the third floor of L.A. General was the   intensive care floor, so you HAD to be in a bad way.  He was met by Vince, Tommy and Nikki at the door and they all made their way to 342.  He wasn't ready to see you in a comatose state with a tube breathing for you.  He was expecting Jerry to be there, but he was nowhere to be seen.

"Hey Doc" Mick pulled the doctor inside the room "What the fuck happened?"

The doctor looked over the chart and said "From what her fiancee told us, she tried to hang herself with a leather belt"  he was skeptical and added "but those bruises look an awful lot like hand prints, wouldn't you agree?"

The four of them nodded their agreement when Tommy asked "Where is her fiancee now?"

"Jail" the doctor said "we didn't believe his story one bit and the police investigated the scene, found no belt in the apartment at all and questioned some of her coworkers" Mick gulped and his eyes began to water.

"How long's she been like this?" he nervously asked, his band mates putting their arms around him to comfort him.

"Six days" the doctor answered "she does show signs of improvement, brain activity and such.  The bastard crushed her windpipe..." the doctor had gotten angry.

"So there's a chance she'll wake up?" Vince asked, Mick too distraught to continue.

The doctor smiled "She's stronger than she gives herself credit for.  She was dead when they bought her in.  She gets better everyday."

Mick had composed himself and asked "Has she said anything since..." he couldn't finish the sentence.

"She keeps saying 'Mick' from time to time.  Who Mick is, we don't know" Mick smiled a weak grin, but he went to sit next to you and held your hand.  The doctor had a spark of realization and he excused himself, explaining that if they had any more questions, just ask him.

"So what do you want us to do now, Mick?" Nikki asked him.

"Go to her apartment, pack her stuff and take it to Mars Mountain" he interlocked his fingers with yours "Go to Underhill Financial Advisors, ask for Lily Collins.  Explain who you are and what's happened.  She'll give you everything you need" they did as they were asked and Lily did help them, her and her husband Johnny helping move your things to Mick's house.

A few days later, your eye fluttered open.  The tube having been removed from your throat seeing as it wasn't needed any longer.  The day Mick came to you and held your hand like a lover for the first time, you began breathing on your own.  You looked around gathering your surroundings.  Mick felt you stir and he looked down at you "Y/N?"

"Mick?  Where am I?" you said in a hoarse voice, you flinching at the pain it caused you to talk.

"The hospital" he answered "Jerry choked you into a  coma about a week and a half ago" you bolted upright at the mention of Jerry's name.  Not out of concern, but out of fear he'd come back to finish you.

"Is he here?!" you looked like a scared meerkat, scanning the area for danger.

"No, honey he's in jail" he stroked your hair lovingly "he can't hurt you any more..."

You cried silent tears of relief as he comforted you, thoughts of what that man put you through the last three years melting off you like wax.  "What about the apartment?" you asked him, looking up with your big E/C doe eyes.

"My friends, Lily and Johnny moved all your stuff into my place" he said, kissing your hand "if you'll have me that is."

"Mind if we take it slow?" you asked.

"Of course, honey" he then kissed your forehead "We have all the time in the world."

[ofravensandpearls]

3 Fandoms

I got tagged by: @delightfulharmonypoetry (Hi join the romanogers fandom huhuhuhu)

Rules: Choose any three fandoms and answer the questions, then tag 10 people you want to know better

Top 3 Fandoms:

1. MCU

2. Naruto

3. BNHA 

The first character you loved:

1. I fell in love with Black Widow, hands down. I give all my love to Natasha Romanova. She is beauty and strength all in one. I hate really hate it when people tell me that she’s the most useless Avenger because she has no super power, but to me it’s what makes her even stronger. I mean, she has no powers, but she can hold her own in the same battle as any other member of the Avengers.

2. The first character I ever loved in Naruto is Iruka Umino. I was drawn to him just because he was super supportive of Naruto. I grew up barely seeing my parents because they were always at work and although they were supportive, they were never really there. Iruka is my MVP because he still had so much care for the vessel of the murderer of his parents and if that is not love, I do not know what is.

3. Before I watch BNHA I did some research first (because I’m the type of loser that needs to know what they’re getting into). Initially I liked Todoroki a lot because I can relate to him in some levels. Both of us are exemplary students and we don’t particularly like our dads – but after doing a more in depth research (and reading the manga) I just fell in love with Momo Yaoyororu. She’s so “perfect” in every sense of the way – rich, beautiful, strong and yet she has so much insecurity. I wanted her to be my friend  just so I can tell her everyday that she isn’t what she thinks she is. She is so much more.

The character you never expected to love so much:

1. Loki. I mean, yes. Everybody loves Loki because of his dashing good looks and what not, but goddamn that unloved monster trope just did it for me. Basically he had shitty parenting and although what he does is unjustifiable, he could have grown up better. Oh Loki. Maybe he isn’t really dead. Who knows?

2. Hinata. She was an annoying fuck following Naruto around like bitch ain’t you got anything better to do? Like train so that your dad won’t tell you that you’re a weak ass cry baby? Then she goes ahead and uses Naruto as an inspiration instead. She never gives up and that’s beautiful. Her difference to Naruto is that she isn’t intrinsically strong as compared to Naruto who just lacked the proper training to make use of his inherent powers, Hinata was told from a very young age that she was weak (she also isn’t every strong in the data books so… lels) and although she believed it she still tried. Also, I just really hate how Kishimoto designed her entire existence to revolve around Naruto.

3. Mineta. Just kidding. I still hate the little perverted shit. I guess I never thought that I’d love Aizawa. He was such a boring unresponsive teacher. Then suddenly he became Dadzawa and I just fell so hard. He’s so protective, but not a hindrance to their growth.

The character you relate to the most:

1. I guess Darcy from Thor – I’m a student, probably an intern somewhere, and the not smart friend. I’m pretty impulsive too and I’d probably taser Thor too. I’m also pretty outspoken and sarcastic and if I became a character, I’d be Darcy Lewis.

2. Kakashi I guess… He’s always late and always reading his porn (ehem ehem smut ehem ehem). Yeah if I become a teacher (which I will be lels) I will be Kakashi.

3. I don’t particularly relate to anyone in BNHA, but I’d like to think that I’m like Mt. Lady. Very vain and narcissistic and I would probably make my boyfriend do all my house chores. Jk. I do the house chores T^T

The character you’d slap:

1. Tony Stark. I mean I love the guy, but I would love to slap him.

2. I want to slap Sasuke’s ass. Just because.

3. Mineta. You. Sick. Pervert. Stop. STOP. – From Ink Child. Same.

Three Favourite Characters (In Order of Preference):

1. Natasha, T’challa, Steve

2. Hinata, Sasuke, Itachi

3. Momo, Tododroki, Aizawa

A Character You Liked At First But Don’t Anymore:

1. Tony Stark. I know the millionaire bad boy had a character arc that changed him, but Tony, I realized was never really my type.

2. Sakura – I know she grew as an individual, but Kishimoto reduced her to a housewife.

3. Ironically Deku. I mean sure he’s a swell guy and all, but I just really don’t feel him as a person.

Three OTP’s:

1. Romanogers – They just click in MCU. Fight me.

2. SasuHina – Forever and always

3. TodoMomo – I just love their very few interactions (also they have lots of awkward troped fanfics and I live for that!)

Tag ten people! :)

@neo-gotmybaksu @kaz-thedragon @japhers @just-a-secret-helper (I iss seeing you on my dash!!!) @thegraytigress (I’m a big fan hehe) @lucyditty @pinata08 @simbaloveshismufasa @nelsbels @emilytwist1

[unproduciblesmackdown]

and see now i didnt know masterpiece was gonna do an adaptation of little women.....i dont know if ive ever watched one all the way through

its a fun book if only because of how goddamn long it is, you get to be all following along and stuff......and like individual chapters can be fairly charming b/c its just like...cozy and all. and some scenes are just particularly fun....the Lively Second Oldest self-insert in jo is great too. cutting off all her hair scandalously, always an icon for that. its been ages since i last read through it so i’m like....feeling like theres some classic jo antic im missing here. its really too bad that she had to end up paired off with some older good christian father figure type guy out of nowhere, maybe b/c honestly it wouldve been too good if she got to date the other wild child of the night who was her bff and all....like, everything that happens is bound by Morals and virtuous christian lessons, rather than the characters or even the plot, which is overall just kind of like “several years pass”

coz as snuggly a read as it is and as fun as certain scenes are and following along with the characters are, its so constrained by the Moral Lessons for Virtuous Young Girls that every single arc has to land on. and i mean the author louisa may alcott was completely annoyed for that same reason too, she was actually having to make the book ultimately be a sort of christian guide for christian readers and it mustve been exasperating, especially for like, writing a book actually about girls and what they are like as people in their own women-only home, vs how you have to tell them how to be

off the top of my head, some particularly annoying points that were all “X character has to learn Y godly christian life path lesson”:

meg getting her hair burnt for all her vanity of trying to curl it like a god damn temptress instead of relying on ye olde humble godgiven natural looks

the entirety of what happens to meg after being married, aka in perpetual domestic servitude that required nonstop docility and charming housewifely attitude and being patronized by her Always Right husband and his manly wisdom and sensibility. i dont think louisa may alcott was fond of the concept of a married womans life, especially as per whatever christian morality had to say about it for 19th cent women

jo being lectured by her father figure i-guess-eventual-husband over the fact she made money as a writer via pulp stories, instead of like, following her heart as like a novelist or whatever. like she’s sinful for writing sensational lowly drivel and trying to get some god damn cash. i think she still has the chronically ill sister at that point. like lay off, you ass.

that same guy having to ward off the Evil Corrupting Modern Atheists. ok i get it. jesus and all

ok now im remembering married meg getting all In Trouble with her husband for buying herself expensive fabric for a dress. and feeling all ashamed like, her character is basically treated like a child in contrast with the unerring Good Sense of her husband and all his quiet mature disappointment in things she does and its like, good god. you were more respected during courtship. and ok i get it meg is so vain for caring about looks and clothes and hair and ughhhhhhH

and its funny with amy and her limes as the “following a schoolchums Trend and caring about social standing rather than being steadfast and detached from such frivolous matters” lesson but like also, let her have the 1860s equivalent of a beyblade or whatever and worry abt the immature stuff that matters to a like 10 yr old or whatever. jeez. christianity...

jo of course has to be punished for having a temper and has to settle down from her freespirited, unladylike ways in her maturity like.....yah ok

there’s like 827 chapters so of course a lot of them are just....especially heavy handed Lessons Of The Moment and dont even hardly have a plot

a lot of the Relationships in the end have to do with one character deciding to morally chastise another

im sure i’ll think of more Things That Chafed Most later. its like. Sigh

theres the time beth is the only one not affected by Sloth to go care for some sickly orphans and then she gets sick and nearly dies and doesnt but then does, so maybe thats a lesson in “dont overdo it.” syke she was pretty much A Timid Churchmouse Saint type so like...clearly her archetype was “actually too good for this world” and she had to die or else be cloistered forever. nowhere to go for that character type sorry. except heaven

also there is just a total lack of sexuality to anyone or anything at any time. everyones affections are very courtly and there is like, no concept of...idk, kissing even. jo is all “ugh why would you want to marry anyone, gross,” and its like, right on, and then she’s like “but anyways i myself will now marry this old scholarly dude who keeps acting like a dad at me” and its like. sigh. ppl have kids though too? it just........occurs...

but its got the fun parts anyways......i still remember a couple wild misconceptions i had the first time i read the book, the largest of which was that i completely missed the fact that beth dies like two thirds of the way through the book. i finished the book without noticing. i went about my life without noticing. i may have actually only noticed upon rereading it all later. she dies very euphemistically.

i also on my first reading didnt quite get the precise historical/cultural context in the very beginning b/c i didnt realize that like, describing laurie as brown and firmly establishing that he has dark eyes/skin/hair actually herein meant, like, “italian” rather than that he was black. it wasnt until i got a fair number of chapters past his introduction that i came across an illustration and was like ???????? whom?

well anyhow. i meant to be drawing rn instead of saying all this so i’ll just dump this out

[thursdays-fallen-angel]

Will you write something for Sam's birthday? I need some Sam love, tfw with some destiel, maybe? (◕‿◕✿)

Pretty much missed his birthday, but that’s fine by me. Happy 34th, Sammy. ^_^

Dean snatches up the plastic grocery bag the instant Cassets it on the counter, anxious to get on with it. God knows he’s wasted enoughtime as it is, so he needs to get his ass in gear if tonight is going to goeven remotely right.

And then he pulls the box out and freezes, seeing theselection his friend made.

“Cas,” he says, fighting to keep his tone even. “Babe. Thisisn’t the kind I told you to get.”

Cas comes nearer, frowning between Dean and the box in hishand. “They didn’t have the kind that you specified. I thought this lookedmore… fun. Don’t you agree?”

Frustration notwithstanding, Dean can’t help but laugh atthat. He raises the box up and waves it in Cas’ face, sparing a brief moment towonder at the fact that this is what his life has come to. “Cas, this isn’tmade for grown men! Just look at it!”

If anything, Cas just frowns harder. “I am looking, Dean,”he says, inflection just screaming classic Ipulled you out of hell, I can toss you back in attitude. “It says it is a premium product. And the mascot looksrather pleased with himself, wouldn’t you say?”

Dean throws his arms up, exasperated. “Of course he does,Cas! He’s supposed to appeal to kids and stay-at-home moms! It’s the goddamnPillsbury Doughboy, he doesn’t actually care what’s in the package!”

“Dean, the product is called Funfetti, I don’t see how thatcan be a bad choice.”

“It’s called Funfetti,for one. Worst name ever.”

“But Dean, it’s fun—”

“And Sam is a thirty-four-year-old man, Cas, for god’ssake—”

“If this has something to do with your aversion to rainbowsand colorful objects—”

“—I do not have anaversion—”

“—you should learn to get past it, because preference ofcolors does not indicate sexuality. And you’re attracted to men anyway—”

“Hey now, don’t—”

“—and being bisexual yet uncomfortable around ‘gay’ thingsis hypocritical, don’t you think?”

There’s a beat of silence.

Dean folds his arms across his chest and resolutely does not pout. Another moment passes, andthen he concedes with a sigh, “We’ll make him the goddamn Funfetti. Are youhappy, your highness?”

Cas beams. “Thank you, Dean.”

Dean waves him off, willing away the blush that threatens torise to his cheeks. “Whatever. But Sammy likes yellow cake, like the weirdo he is—so rainbows or not, this isstill second-rate.” He turns toward the fridge and sets about getting out theingredients he needs for the cake and the frosting he plans on making fromscratch, but then a thought occurs to him, and he slowly turns back around. Henarrows his eyes at Cas—who is looking a bit too pleased with himself—and asks, “Were they even out of yellow? Or did you just want totry the Funfetti?”

Cas, the bastard, just shrugs.

Dean snorts. “You ass.”

That, at least, gets a genuine smile out of Cas, and thelast of the irritated tension Dean is carrying drains away. They both get towork making the cake, Cas following the instructions on the box to the letterand Dean winging it with the frosting.

(Except he’s definitely not winging it, but carefullyfollowing a recipe he found on Pinterest which he takes regular, discreet looksat on his phone when he thinks Cas isn’t looking. He really doesn’t want tohave to explain what the app is or how he found it, because it makes him feelfar too much like a middle-age housewife and the last thing he needs is to beharassed for it.)

All in all, it goes surprisingly well. Cas’ cake battercomes out as it should—albeit still more colorfulthan Dean can pretend to be thrilled about—and goes easily into the cake pan,then easily into the oven after that. Their plan is to have both the cake anddinner ready when Sam gets home from his mid-morning run, which Dean may or maynot have encouraged to be longer than usual and also in the next town over sothat he has time to prepare. Prepare and clean,because that’s also critical.

Cas may be good at following instructions, but that doesn’t meanhe has coordination in the kitchen. There’s flower in both of their hair (whichmay have been put there by messy hands) and across their shirts, and thecounter looks like a bakery bomb went off. Dean is already eyeing the mess warily,feeling it prick at his OCD.

It figures, really, that the plan doesn’t hold. The cakemakes it out of the oven and is transferred onto a tray, but just as Deanstarts coaching Cas on how to properly apply the frosting to the multicoloredcake, Sam barges into the kitchen, making a beeline for the fridge.

“Sammy!” Dean yelps, unintentionally hip-checking Cas andnearly sending him to the floor as he rushes to put his body in front of thecake on the counter and hide it from sight. He feels bad, but he’ll apologizelater; Sam can’t see this. There areingredients for dinner on the counter (chickenburgers, a true testament to Dean’s love for his brother) that he didn’treally want seen, but that’s not nearly as incriminating as the Funfetti andleftover flour explosion. He shifts to keep as much of it out of view as he canas his brother opens the fridge and starts digging around.

“What are you doing home so early? I thought you weren’tgonna be back for another hour or so?”

Sam, for his part, is apparently on a mission, because hedoesn’t even look up from his search. “I was, uh, texting Eileen,” he says, hishead still in the fridge. “She didn’t know it was my birthday until I told her,but she invited me over, so I’m heading out. Hey, are there any of my proteinshakes left?”

Dean blinks. “You’re ditching us for Eileen? Today? Dude—I was making you chickenburgers for dinner! You’re going to take one of those nasty-ass protein shakes instead?”

“Oh!” Sam says suddenly, finally extracting himself from thefridge. He holds up a shake in victory, moose-like face split into a grin. “Lastone.” Dean’s jaw drops, but before he can express his disbelief, his brothercontinues, “I’m sure the burgers will be delicious and I’m sorry I’m missingthem, but I’m sure you and Cas will still like them. I gotta be on the road intwenty minutes if I want to make it to Eileen before the sun is down.”

“But why—”

Sam silences him with a look, part bitch-face, part ‘thisshouldn’t be that hard to figure out, Dean’. “No offense, Dean, but the woman I’vebeen actively flirting with invitedme over. Sorry, but I’m taking this.” He retreats as he speaks, backing towardthe kitchen door and raising a hand in farewell. “See you guys in a coupledays. Cake looks great, so enjoy it for me, will you? Leen said she was going tomake me a yellow cake.”

And then he’s gone with nothing more than a final,shit-eating grin, leaving a very confused Dean in his wake.

“Happy birthday, Sam!” Cas calls after the youngerWinchester, but the reverberation of Sam’s closing bedroom door is the onlyanswer he receives. Not that he seems bothered by that; he turns to Dean with afirm look, though his eyes are light with a sort of amusement that no one butDean is likely to recognize. “I’m still eating this cake.”

Dean looks at the mess surrounding them, then at therainbow-colored cake, then buries his face in his hands. “God damnit.”

[tumblunni]

Today’s pointless headcanon/oc for Yo-kai Watch! I dunno if there’s an actual word for taking a vaguely described backstory character and turning them into their own thing? Kinda an oc, kinda not... Anyway, some spoilers for Dr Maddiman’s new sidequests in Yo-kai Watch 3 which I just heard about today and CRIED A LOT OVER!

Okay now it has been officially confirmed that new YW3 Yo-kai Dr Kagemura is officially Dr Maddiman’s son who grew up! Imagine the world’s largest tears falling down my goddamn face right now. I really like that there was so much subtle evidence of it before this dlc update sidequest thing came out, it was a good way to build hype! Like Kagemura Hospital is apparantly what the Nocturne Hospital was called in japanese, and one of the preset nicknames when you catch Dr Kagemura could be read as ‘His Son’. Thanks infinately to kaialone for all those amazing translation posts, I’m so happy to know that all their work paid off with that headcanon coming true! Also, does this mean he’ll be called Dr Nocturne in the dub? Or I wonder if they might change it up a bit. Cos in japanese Maddiman’s name calls him a hospital director instead of JUST a doctor, maybe kagemura’s dub name might make it clearer that he’s lower ranking? I dunno if its a very important detail though, beyond making it easier to guess that theyre related. But the dub will probably include all these postgame bonus sidequest downloads as part of the main package, so it doesnt really matter as much.

ANYWAY THE HEADCANONS

Like.. I just want this whole awkward family to have a happy ending. Headcanon of what if Maddiman’s ex-wife also became a yo-kai!

I can hope for this!! or, at least, I can hope that if we ever hear more about kagemura’s backstory specifically then we can know if his mum ended up living a happy life in those 50 years before the game starts. But seeing how young kagemura seems to have been when he died, that’s got me worrying if his story ended up just as tragically as his father’s did. My old headcanons about this were that maybe maddiman’s son was very sickly as a child, and thats what started the whole ‘i will take over the world with yo-kai in order to protect my family’ obsession. And then the idea was that kagemura’s resentment of his father caused him to become obsessed with becoming a better doctor, putting everything into studying for medical school and dying in his late teens from overwork combined with his weak constitution. TRAGIC HEADCANONS! The Perfect Spice For Tragic Canon!

Aaaaaanyway, mystery unnamed wife lady headcanons! I was thinking if she became a yo-kai she might be like Nurse Taykeabreake, Laxy Daisy, maybe even Shirkly Temple? Or, tbh, it would make more sense if she had a different job to her husband. Easy Rider -> Easie Writer? I know that Cutta-Nah already exists as a Yo-Kai that makes people lazy, and there’s plenty for sleep, but I’m sure we could figure out a similar yet distinct thing to go with. maybe she’s specifically about procrastinating your homework? I’m thinking she’d look like a stereotypical strict teacher, or maybe a newspaper journalist or something. And her personality would kinda be that way, she’s all neat freak and easy to anger, and takes everything super seriously even though her ‘lessons’ are on how to completely fail at being productive. Eight hour essay on not writing essays! Oh, lol maybe she accidentally causes people to become MORE productive, cos she’s so bad at her job? XD

But yeah, the idea would be that her yo-kai form was manifested from her desire for her husband to come home from work every now and again. Just like his workaholic nature was exaggerated into mad science, her trying to get him to loosen up and take care of himself turned her into the personification of no rules ever. in a very strict and ruley way! Imagine if she ended up getting a gaggle of friends along the way too, but for her she just ended up in a group of baddinyan and co. Acts as the mom figure to all the gangsters! (”man look at how dirty all your jackets are!” *gets halfway to the washing machine before falling asleep*) Or maybe this could be an excuse for why her son appeared as a yo-kai before her? Like ‘i was gonna come back from the dead but I procrastinated’. So she only appears after her son and ex-husband reconcile and visit her grave together.

And the personality I’m thinking of for her is kinda just like the stereotypical ‘nagging housewife’ cartoon character, but portrayed sympathetically. Cos its not like she didnt have reason to get angry at him, this is the man she loves and she barely even sees him anymore, and he’s potentially gonna get himself killed in some extreme experiment and she doesnt even know that his motive for starting this all was just to protect his family in his own mad way. If anything, what little we know of her is that she’s abnormally patient with him. She put up with it for a long time, it seems, and deciding to divorce him and move back home must have been equally as painful for her. At least, I think it would be even more tragic if it was that way, yknow? Nobody is really a villain of the story, but it still ended up horribly because of just lack of communication and bad timing. I think her and maddiman always used to bicker and stuff, but it was more like a comical clashing of two larger than life personalities. Maybe they met in medical school and started off as just best friends, she was always all ‘darn it, stop with your endearing social awkwardness!’ and he was all ‘you need to relax, yo!’ and she was all ‘NO U NEED TO RELAX. AND ALSO STOP WEARING THE SAME LABCOAT TWO WEEKS IN A ROW’ *lovehearts in the air, somehow* Sassy couple. best couple. It all looked so promising at first! If anything, the problems came from when they stopped arguing, and just started being silent and stewing in their problems. Until it boiled down to a guy spending all day in work to avoid talking about his marital issues, just to come home and find that his wife had left a divorce note, unable to face him either. :(

And probably... honestly even if they both came back as ghosts, i doubt they would get back together. I think they would be incredibly happy to see each other, and they would be able to talk about what happened and apologise, but still they’ve changed so much that getting remarried wouldnt really be on the table. They’d totally be amicable exes and best friends, but its hard to start a relationship again when you know your breakup literally caused everyone in the family to die horribly and become earthbound spirits of misfortune. That’s a bit of an epic divorce... OH MAN I JUST GOT THE FEELS AGAIN Like... Maddiman’s diary talks about how he doesnt even take care of himself cos he’s so obsessed with work, and how his wife would complain as she tried to wash his clothes after he forgot to change them for weeks. So imagine like “oh god what would you do without me” and the answer is LITERALLY DIE! We don’t know HOW he died, but the japanese version seems to imply that he literally died halfway through writing this diary and just kept going. Like... after his wife left he just locked himself in his lab and kept working until he worked himself to death, and then got back up and kept working for fifty years afterwards... Can you imagine his wife and son’s perspective?? You still love this guy, it was really painful to leave but you thought it was necessary to give your kid a good life. Maybe you hoped that it’d be a wake up call and your ex is better off without you. You think about him every now and then and wonder if he’s doing okay, you wonder maybe about visitation rights for his son when he gets older. Then the first and only thing you hear about him in years is that he’s collapsed on the job and been hospitalized in critical condition. Maybe she had her own turn at being the one who walks through the door to find the worst possible goodbye? Desperately packing up all your things and flying back to japan to try and see your ex-husband in a coma, but when you walk into the hospital you find he’s just passed away. And then her and the child had to live the rest of their lives never knowing that he was just a few streets away as a yo-kai still haunting the same office. DEPRESSING HEADCANONS! FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY!

seriously i just have to happy headcanons after this plz yo-kai hugs for all of this sadly doomed household ghosty ex-wife: Sit up straight and take your slacking off lessons! *agressively buries maddiman in blankets* *drags him away from his work with giant buff demon arms*

[ipushedthewrongbutton]

Skyrim is such a fun game??? But also surprisingly emotional

it’s been more or less since the game came out that i played it. I don’t even know how many years but long enough for me to not remember anything but the literal first scene, so i decided, since we’re in quarantine and all, this would be the perfect time to start over and finally at least finish the main quest.  back when i first played, my english wasn’t great so i didnt understand upgrading or taking random quests from random npc’s so i mostly went along where the lil white arrows told me to go.

NOW THO, i can upgrade weapons, gear, i can actually understand alchemy and enchanting, i can do as many useless quests as i want and i have the internet at my disposal in case i was too stoopid to figure out the next step myself.

Started out great, clicked the wrong button while picking a name and so instead  of pressing the backspace button, i confirmed my male breton’s name as Prisoner, for the rest of the fucking game. He looks like a sweetheart tho who’s always confused, thin and wiry, ponytail, can’t grow a beard to save his life but he has a scar under his eye. He’s amnesiac, was arrested at the border, has no fucking clue what he was doing there.

I didn’t wanna think up a backstory, hence...

I immediately decided, fuck it, i ain’t fighting this civil war, I’m a breton, y’all nords do whatever the fuck u want. And i stayed with that. I briefly thought about choosing a side depending on whose point resonated with me more. Turns out, neither point is entirely valid. One side has no respect of history and culture, the other side is racist. So Prisoner was neutral for the entirety of the game. Neither Ulfric nor Tulius got any attention from this homie.

What did receive attention tho was the main quest and boi, i know everyone hates chosen one stories. And they’re right. But man, i love chosen one stories. And my baby boi is the dragonborn and he’s like ?????? And everyone is like “you defeat dragons and you are the hero everyone waited for” and my dude is like ????? Ok??? Sure?????? And he just goes to places and helps as many people as possible on the way. 

Fuckin, the best thing was sideplots happening BY ACCIDENT. Prisoner goes on a quest to murder a shitty orphanage keeper, goes to tell the kid who commissioned him, he feels pretty okay about it. Then he gets The Letter. “we know” with a black handprint. And the shit that left my body at that moment, could’ve started a new nation. I mean, i had a 35 damage weapon at that point and i had slain my, what, fifth dragon at that point so i wasn’t worried about dying from assassins but THE INTIMIDATION WORKED. 

LITTLE DID PRISONER KNOW that this would be the biggest emotional rollercoaster in the goddamn game, no lie. Being the chosen one, sure. Defeating dragons that will cause the apocalypse, no pressure. Become thane of a city, aight. But THEN I GET KIDNAPPED IN MY BRANDNEW HOME AND I WAKE UP IN A SHACK WITH A LIL LADY TELLING ME TO KILL ONE OF THREE PEOPLE. THE FEAR I EXPERIENCED... but then they recruited me, and they’re all really cute colourful characters and we’re assassins and we’re the black brotherhood and we kill people for a living but we’re a Family. And my baby boi character had yet to experience anything like that. Sure the greybeards are mentor-ish but Prisoner never lived up on High Hrothgar amongst the old dudes. The blades did a roadtrip thing which was fun but then they kinda just squatted in their new headquarters and sent Prisoner on his merry way. But this, they had a sleeping place and a dining hall and a lil garden and the werewolf man gave me insulting nicknames and there’s a little girl who says she’s a vampire and to this day, I’m still not sure if she was telling the tRUTH OR NOT. 

AND THEN, AND THEN, the whole emperor thing happens, right, and that’s fucking hilarious. Prisoner with a chef’s head, i was cackling like a madman. And then AND THEN, THE BETRAYAL. ASTRID SAYS there’ll be a surprise up on the lil walkway bridge thing. And then there’s no one. AND THEN THERE’S SOLDIERS TELLING ME THEY’RE AMBUSHING HQ. AND I LOST. MY. SHIT. The thing wouldn’t let me fat travel either because the soldiers kept chasing me and i thought i was gonna have to ride Shadowmere all the way to the other side of skyrim, hysteric and worried about mY FAmILy. AND THEN i arrive at hq and there’s on of them PINNED TO THE TREE and like, guys. Guys. I was crying and full on immersion, i was like “nobody leaves here alive”, it was horrific, I didn’t do any of the stealthing, i just ripped them apart with my draugr greatsword, i already leveled up to the point where i cut my enemies’ heads off, it was glorious. It was so emotional, seeing werewolf man get killed, HE GAVE ME INSULTING NICKNAMES OKAY, and then finding Nazir and then hiding in a fucking coffin with a corpse who’s then like, trying to sooth me??  it was so emotional and i was crying tears of goddamn grief, i was Prisoner and Prisoner was me. The line between fantasy and reality: gone. I had spent HOURS upon DAYS on this game at this point, there was no going back.

hoo

..

So then i killed the emperor, and the reacting of the land was “...hm?” And i killed the general captain dude personal, like, optional my ass, i was gonna murder that shithead optional or not.

So i bought a house. In whiterun. It’s called breezehome (that’s not a choice) and I instantly decided if i ever get my own place, I’m calling it breezehome. I really hesitated about getting a house, since Prisoner is a nomad and constantly on the road, plus, has a “””””home””’”’” with the blades and other places in other quests. But then i decided it takes too much frigging effort to get all my loot sold cus all the pawnbrokers are pawn broke (HAH) and i can only sell them like a few gems and that’s it. And i needed a place to store all that shit, plus, i was going nuts from my collection of keys on my person aaaaaand i needed like a drawer to chuck em all in. And so that’s what i diiiiiiid. I later got the place in solitude too to finish the thane quest there but i literally only used the mannequins in the basement for my brotherhood and nightingale outfits. Which i both have worn literally once and then i just went with my guild outfit. 46 armor is good fuckin armor and the best i owned the entire game. Added some fire resistant shoes and suddenly dragons were super easy to defeat. I also found dragonbane somewhere, i literally only used it to wack dragons when they run aground. Otherwise i switched between a bow and a greatsword, both with the power of stealing health. Glorious. I was invincible. Well, with that and the power of Strategically Running Away. 

I thought it was weird my guy never got the choice of being a leader of literally anything. I mean, thane is an honorary title so you can do whatever you want and not get shit for it, like the privileged fucks we all are, but arch-mage when i only entered the school like last week? Head of the thief’s guild after going on 2 assignments, one of them being the chasing and murdering of the previous one? Never got the choice, was just like “you’re perfect for that” and me “‘I’m LITERALLY the least qualified person im this entire province!” Also i has a flute on my person at all times, bard’s college never taught me how to play it, the bastard’s, all they did was send me on errand in dusty cAVES. AT LEAST IN ASSASSIN’S CREED YOU HAVE TO CHASE THE SHANTIES IN ORDER TO PERFORM THE SHANTIES. 

Then the husband thing.

I knew there was an option to get married and adopt. I don’t want kids, in game or out. But i am disgustingly lonely (especially after the massacre of the black brotherhood) in game or out, so i looked it up and SURE ENOUGH, SAME SEX MARRIAGE IS DELISIOUSLY LEGAL IN SKYRIM, OH BLESSED DAY. Things i learned with this: i cannot handle flirting. It was cute and Prisoner and Falkar are adorable but I CRINGE, A LOT. 

Honestly, the most i personally had with this was envisioning Prisoner finally leaving for Sovngarde (after putting it off for as long as possible) and giving his final goodbye to his brand new husband like, caressing each other’s cheeks and holding each other’s shoulders, “i promise I’ll be home again soon” “and if you don’t, i will find you in sovngarde” “keep the hearth warm while I’m gone” “keep your sword sharp, you always forget to redo the enchantments” “‘don’t neglect the companions just because you wanna housewife” just sacharine as. Fuck. They were in bed togeher the night before, just talking about useless shit and holding each other t was very PG. And then after defeating Alduin, Prisoner finds himself back in Skyrim, relieved that it’s all fucking over at long fucking last, and he climbs on Shadowmere’s back, tired, and rides back home. When he arrives in Whiterun, tired and weathered, he spots Falkar just returning from a mission, he’s also travel weary and just unlocked the door to breezehome. He spots Prisoner and Shadowmere entering through the gates. They pause, they look at each other like they’ve been apart for years instead of days. Falkar drops his back, Prisoner gets off the horse and suddenly they’re running towards each other, till they smack together and they’re just holding each other, it’s the best hug ever. 

Aaaaand that’s kinda where i left it. I have more companion missions but i physically can’t get myself to do them because i feel the story is over, there’s no point. I can also still pick which side of the civil war i wanna take but it would be extremely out of character now.  it’s weird, i feel like crying again. I invested so much time in this story and these characters with so little effort. Cus usually, writing my own stories, it takes effort to develop and build them. Here, all i had to do was make choices and kill the bad guys. And I don’t want to say goodbye even though i feel like there’s nothing more to add.