#guy who showed up post-ancients(noun)
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ritoryb · 1 year ago
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i kind of love the ancient (adj) xiv posts they are so silly
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archipithecus · 2 years ago
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I posted 11,468 times in 2022
That's 166 more posts than 2021!
39 posts created (0%)
11,429 posts reblogged (100%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@an-unimpressed-jackalope
@velociraptrix
@celestialkindliness
@triviallytrue
@agatharights
I tagged 3,879 of my posts in 2022
#bio - 520 posts
#tlt - 446 posts
#art - 338 posts
#paleo - 310 posts
#ling - 268 posts
#maddie core - 208 posts
#good text - 191 posts
#hist - 154 posts
#f@tt - 95 posts
#geo - 94 posts
Longest Tag: 137 characters
#the end of the second sentence of the second paragraph reads ʻnumber of playerʼ when i think it should be ʻnumber of playersʼ with an ʻsʼ
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
stormlight video games
the other day my partner pointed out that the purelake is in a completely different from the rest of roshar, and that sparked a discussion about what kinda of video games you could set in the stormlight archives (specifically WoK, since that's what my partner's reading right now)
purelake fishing game/dating sim
shattered plains alethi vs parshendi tactical milsim
bridge running bullet hell
szeth's murder adventures, 3d platformer that has fun with lashing things and changing your own gravity
jasnah salon/dress up game. you play as shallan. it's like a classic flash game, but also there's a quick time event to steal the soulcaster
alethi farming sim. deworm your rockbuds, deal with shitty landlords, and sometimes war sweeps through and you loose everything and start over with nothing
candy crush clone, but you're bridgemen matching spheres in the chasms
44 notes - Posted November 15, 2022
#4
Zellion
English
Alternative Forms [ edit ]
Zellium
Etymology [ edit ]
From Ancient Greek Ζῆλλιον (Zêllion), from Ζῆλλα (Zêlla, unknown) + -ιον (-ion, diminuative suffix)
Pronunciation [ edit ]
(Received Pronunciation) IPA⁽ᵏᵉʸ⁾: /ˈzɛliən/, /ˈziːliən/
(General American) IPA⁽ᵏᵉʸ⁾: /ˈzɛliɔn/, /ˈziliɔn/, /-ən/
(cot-caught merger, Canada) IPA⁽ᵏᵉʸ⁾: /ˈzɛliɑn/, /ˈziliɑn/, /-ən/
Proper Noun [ edit ]
Zellion
A biphobic bisexual
Someone who does not fuck
A Dustbringer [citation needed]
Ζῆλλιον
Ancient Greek
Etymology [ edit ]
Of uncertain origin. Possibly from Proto-Indo-European *yeh₂l- (“spiky mystery guy”), or related to the Mycenaean Greek Linear B name 𐀽𐀨 (ze-ra, “person who does not fuck”)
Pronunciation [ edit ]
IPA⁽ᵏᵉʸ⁾: /zdɛ̂ːl.li.on/ → /ˈzi.li.on/ → /ˈzi.li.on/
Proper Noun [ edit ]
Ζῆλλιον • (Zêllion) n (genitive Ζηλλῐ́ου); second declension
Α given name, Zellion
60 notes - Posted October 13, 2022
#3
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i love this spooky little guy
60 notes - Posted October 25, 2022
#2
Friends at the Table: a show about critical world building, smart characterization, fun interaction between good friends, and most importantly pausing in the middle of a conflict to look at pictures of the biggest fluffiest dogs in the world
76 notes - Posted September 12, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
keith j. carberry: it's the duality, i think, of the ADHD student to be extremely into notebooks and pens and also medically incapable of putting them to good use
196 notes - Posted July 16, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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olderthannetfic · 5 years ago
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Hey, sorry to ask this, but a few days ago I saw a post/discussion about the history of original work on ao3 (i.e. how and when it was allowed). I thought it was in my likes, but it's not, and I thought you had reblogged it recently, but I didn't find it. I was wondering if you have seen this discussion around? Or where I can find more about it? This specific post talked abt how who defended original work on ao3 were not the BNFs, if that helps.
That was me running my mouth in the reblogs of something or other. It’s just the one comment.
But what’s that you say? Some tl;dr about a pet topic? Don’t mind if I do! ;) (To be honest, most of this debate happened years ago, and a lot of the long meta was by me back then too, so…)
Okay, so, the situation with Original Works is actually super interesting and a microcosm of early years OTW wank.
This is going to be even more tl;dr than my usual. To try to summarize very briefly:
There were two big cultural factions. One thought “original” was the opposite of “fan”. That one was in charge of OTW. It was hard to get voices from the other side into the debate because they already felt excluded from OTW.
This divide broke down more or less into Ye Olde Slash Fandom on the “it’s the opposite” side and anime fandom on the “WTF?” side. Americans on one side and a lot of non-US, non-English language fandom on the other.
I. Media Fandom, Anime Fandom, and Early OTW
I went to that first fundraising party that astolat threw in New York City back in… god… 2007? 2008? I wasn’t on the Board or any official position until the committees got started later, but I was around right from the very beginning.
Whether you’re looking at volunteers or at people who commented on astolat’s original post, there were always a variety of fans from a variety of fannish backgrounds. People aren’t absolutely in one camp or another, and fannish interests change over time. If you go dig through Dreamwidth posts to find who was actually participating in this debate at the time, half of them are probably in the other camp now.
If you think like that sounds like a preamble to me making a bunch of offensively sweeping generalizations and divvying fans up into little groups, you’d be right! Haha.
I.a. Ye Olde Media Fandom
There are a lot of camps of people who like fanfic. One of the biggest divisions has been Ye Olde Media Fandom vs. anime fandom. Astolat’s social circle–my LJ social circle–was filled with people with decades of fannish experience and a deep knowledge of the Media Fandom side of things.
Those fandom history treatises that start with K/S zines in Star Trek fandom in the 70s and move on through the mainstream buddy cops like Starsky & Hutch to the more niche, sff buddy cops like Fraser and Ray or Jim and Blair are talking about Media Fandom. I try to always capitalize it because the name is lulzy and bizarre to me unless it’s a proper noun for a specific historical thing. It was coined as a rude term for “mass media” fandom aka dumb people who like, ughhhh, Star Trek, ughhh, instead of books. This is a very ancient slapfight from the type of fandom you find at Worldcon, often called “SF fandom” or plain “fandom”.
(Yes, this leads to mega confusion on the part of some old dudes when they find Fanlore and fail to understand that “fandom” there refers to what these people would call “Media Fandom”. They think only they get the unmarked form. But I digress…)
Media Fandom is a specific flavor of fandom. It’s where the slash zines were. It’s where the fans of live action US TV shows were. It’s the history that acafans have laid out well and that tends to get used to defend the idea of a female subculture writing transgressive and transformative fanfic. On the video side, Media Fandom is where Kandy Fong invented vidding by making Star Trek slideshows.
(Kandy’s still around, BTW. She’s usually at Escapade in L.A. Ask her to tell you about the dancing penises sketch in person. She’s hilarious.)
Astolat and friends had been going to slash cons for years. They founded Vividcon. And Yuletide. That meant that when astolat said “Hey kids, let’s put on a show!” we all jumped to help. This is a lady who gets things done.
From a Worldcon perspective, or even from an older Media Fandom perspective, this group was comparatively young, hip, and welcoming. Their fandom interests were comparatively broad. Just look at Yuletide!
In fact, yes, let us look at Yuletide… [ominous music]
I.b. Yuletide sucks at anime
From the very first year (2003), Yuletide mods have asked for help with anime fandoms, been confused about anime fandoms, or made bad judgment calls about anime fandoms. They’ve fucked up on Superhero comics and plenty of other things over the years, but anime has been the most consistent (well, and JRPGs, but there’s so much overlap in those fic fandoms).
There was already bad feeling about this. There were years of bad feeling about this.
I.c. Where are the historians?
Academic study of fanficcy things pretty much got started with Textual Poachers and Enterprising Women. Other acafans who are well known to LJ and later Tumblr are people like Francesca Coppa who wrote a very nice summary of the history of Media Fandom. These are not the only academics who exist, these academics themselves have written about many other things, and by now, OTW’s own journal has covered a lot of other territory, but to this day I see complaints on Tumblr that “acafans” only care about K/S and oldschool slash fandom.
There were years of bad feeling about this as well.
I.d. What kind of fan was I?
Now, by the time OTW got started, I’d moseyed over to not only a lot of live action US TV but a lot of old-as-fuck US TV that is squarely in the Media Fandom camp. But once upon a time, I was a weeaboo hanging out with my weeaboo friends in college. I learned Japanese (sort of). I moved to Japan. Livin’ the weeaboo dream!
More importantly, I used to be a member of a lot of anime mailing lists back in the Yahoo Groups days. I didn’t realize what a cultural gap that would cause until the original works issue came up on AO3.
I.e. Anime Fandom, German-language Fandom, Original M/M
Once upon a time–namely in that Yahoo Groups era–there was an archive called Boys in Chains. It was where you found The Good Stuff™. Heavy kink and power exchange galore! It was extremely well known in the parts of fandom I was in, even if you weren’t on the associated mailing list. It contained lots of fic, but it also had lots of original work.
Around that same era, I was on a critique list called Crimson Ink, which was mixed fic and original. The “original slash” and “original yaoi” crowds mixed freely and were in fanfic spaces. Remember, this is like 2003. You’re never going to get your gay fantasy novel published in English in the US. A couple of fangirl presses started around then, but they died an ignominious death after their first print run.
Fanfiction.net used to allow original work before it spun that off into FictionPress. We forget this today, but if you were an early FFN person, the separation wasn’t so great either.
Meanwhile, German-language fandom was hanging out on sites like Animexx.de, a big-ass fic archive that prominently mentions also including original work. I have the impression that Spanish-language fandom was similar too.
Shousetsu Bang*Bang was founded in 2005. It was a webzine for original m/m, but it was entirely populated by fanfic fandom types.
In all of those kinds of spaces, there was a lot of “original” work that was kind of slash or BL-ish and seen as fannish if it was posted in the fannish space. These weren’t anime-only spaces. They were multifandom spaces where it was seen as obvious and normal that a couple of huge fandoms like Harry Potter would dominate but that everything else big would naturally be anime.
While fans from every background are everywhere, I found that the concentration of EFL fans living in Continental Europe, South America, and Asia was much higher in this kind of space, even the exclusively English language part of it, than in my US TV fandoms.
II. AO3 Early Adopters
AO3 went into closed beta in 2009. In 2010, it was open to the general public (albeit with the invitation queue it still has). But not everyone was interested yet. Just like fandom is loath to leave the dying, shambling mess of Tumblr, fandom was loath to leave dwindling LJ/DW circles or was happy enough on Fanfiction.net. I used to see a lot of posts like “Why are you guys trying to STEAL fanfic from the original! FFN is enough!”
I literally could not give away the invitations I had. No one wanted them.
So who was on AO3? Obviously enough, it was all of us who built it and our friends. So that means a bunch of oldschool Livejournal slashers coming from fandoms like Due South or Stargate Atlantis.
The queue was open. Anyone could make an account. Everyone was welcome. In theory…
But more and more, there started to be these posts about how “AO3 Hates Anime Fandom” and “FFN is for anime. AO3 is for Western fandoms.” and “If you guys actually wanted anime fandom on there, you’d invite us better and make us more welcome.”
At the time, I found these posts obnoxious. People aren’t purely in one sort of fandom or the other. No one was stopping anime fandom from making accounts. No one was banning anime fandom. If there wasn’t much from old fandoms, that was because old fandoms seldom move.
Things began to change. Trolls on FFN forced the Twilight porn writers out, creating enough fuss and brouhaha to mobilize people who would rather have stayed put. AO3 got big enough that randos found it by accident. Original work started to pop up, posted by people who’d never looked at the rules and had no idea it was not allowed.
III. History of AO3’s Policy
I had argued for allowing “original work” during the initial discussions about the ToS. On one side of this issue was me. On the other, everyone else on the committee.
I was overruled.
Open Door started importing old archives to save them. Boys in Chains was hugely important to fandom history from my point of view. It was slated to be imported… maybe. Except that Boys in Chains is half original. AO3 was happy to grandfather in those stories, but the final archive owner felt, quite rightly, that it would be unfair to tell half of the authors they were welcome in the new space while spitting on the other half.
I was pissed. I had been pissed since being overruled the first time. To me, the fact that it should be allowed was so blatantly obvious that it was hard to even explain why.
(To be honest, this difficulty in explaining why and the even greater difficulty in figuring out the source of that difficulty is what held the discussion back for so long. When every assumption on either side is completely opposite, it’s hard to communicate.)
I felt betrayed. It would be like if you helped build something, and everyone was suddenly like “Well, obviously, we can’t allow m/m. It’s not normal fanfic.”
So we discussed it again and, again, it was me vs. literally everyone else. And still the “AO3 is only for Western slash fandom” bitching rose in volume and more and more people complained of feeling excluded from the new fandom hub. Finally, the committee agreed to open the issue up for public comment and get some more input. I was a fool and neither wrote nor proofread the post. It went out phrasing the question as allowing “non fannish” work or something of that sort.
I was furious. The entire point of the whole debate was that I saw some original work, the original work that belongs on AO3, as inherently fannish. And now this had been presented to the AO3 audience as something completely different. Think pieces were popping up in the journals of everyone I knew about diluting AO3’s mission and how we needed to save AO3 from encroachment. Public opinion was very negative. That’s both because of how the post was phrased and because OTW die hards at the time were mostly from the same fannish background. This tidal wave of negativity meant that there was virtually no chance of changing this poisonous rule. And if the rule didn’t change, the people who wanted the rule change were never going to show up to explain why it mattered.
If you’ve been reading my tumblr, I think you can guess what happened next.
I posted a long post to my Dreamwidth. It was a masterwork of passive aggression. In it, I wrung my hands about how simply tragic it would be if AO3 had to delete all of the original work… like anthropomorfic.
Now, I think anthropomorfic counts as fanfic as much as anything else, but I also knew that it fails most rigorous “based on a canon” type definitions of fic and, more importantly, it’s a favorite Yuletide fandom of many of the people on the side that wanted to ban original work.
That’s a nice fandom of yours. It would be a pity if something happened to it. 
Yup. Passive aggressive blackmail. Go me. Suddenly, there was a lot of awkward backtracking and confused running in circles in various journals. The committee agreed to table the idea for a while but not rule out the idea of allowing original works in the future. We agreed to halt all deletions of original work. If a fan posted it, the Abuse Committee (which I was also head of at the time) would not delete that work even though it was technically against the rules.
Time passed. The people on the negative side got tired. I wanted off that committee and had wanted off for ages, but I was damned if I was going to leave before ramming through this piece of policy. Grudgematch till I die! (Look, I never said I wasn’t a wanker.)
After a while, some other fans came forward with more types of “original work” as evidence that it should be allowed. These were from parts of fandom none of us on the committee knew a damn thing about.
This new evidence combined with the gradual accretion of original stuff on AO3 without the sky falling eventually led us to quietly rule Original Work a valid fandom. There was never even a big announcement post. I slipped a word to the Boys in Chains mod myself.
IV. What Were They So Afraid Of Anyway?
So why were people so resistant? Seems like a dick move, right?
Not exactly.
I mean, I was enraged and waged a one-woman war to change the rules, but the other side wasn’t nuts. The objections were usually the following:
I just don’t get why it would be allowed. It never was in my fannish spaces.
Most of our members don’t want this.
Most of the examples of things that ought to be included are m/m. We are privileging m/m if we allow it, and AO3 already has a m/m-centric reputation that can feel exclusionary to some fans.
AO3 is a young, shaky platform that can barely handle the load and content we already have. If we open to original work, we’ll be opening the floodgates. The volume of posting will be so high, it will drown out the fic we’re actually here to protect.
Protecting stuff that doesn’t need protection because it’s not an IP issue would dilute OTW’s mission.
If we allow it, idiots will try to turn AO3 into advertising space, posting only the first chapter and a link to where you can pay to read the rest.
If we add another category of text before we add fan art, that’s a slap in the face of the fan artists we are already failing.
These arguments all make perfect sense in context.
Obvously, the issue with the first two is that different fannish communities have different norms. I knew that a very large community disagreed with the then current AO3 policy, but since so few of them were around to comment, it seemed like a tiny fringe minority.
The m/m thing is… complex. M/M content with zero IP issues is at risk. It is always at risk in a way that even f/f is not (though f/f is also always at risk). Asking for m/m to be exactly equivalent to f/f or m/f in numbers, tropes, whatever is ignoring the historical realities. In our current moment of queer activism in the West, we treat all types of queerness as part of one community with one set of goals, but once you get to culture and art or even more specific activism, this forced homogenization is neither useful nor healthy.
OTOH, AO3 really did have PR problems related to the perception that we gave m/m fandom the kid glove treatment. That objection wasn’t coming from nowhere.
AO3 was shaky. It was tiny when I first brought up this argument. Hell, it wasn’t even in closed beta the first time we discussed this. Part of what made the quiet rules change possible was AO3 organically getting much bigger and OTW having to buy many more servers for unrelated reasons.
The “floodgates” thing was put to rest by tacitly allowing original work before the rules change. We had a period to study how fans actually behaved, and as I predicted, only a small amount of original work got posted. It was indeed mostly things like original BL-ish stories or original work that had been part of a mixed original/fic fest, exchange, zine, etc. Currently, the “Original Work” fandom on AO3 only has 76,348 works. That’s pretty big compared to individual fandoms but tiny compared to AO3’s current size.
The commercial argument was spurious because commercial spam had been against the rules from the very beginning. OH THE IRONY that nowadays AO3 has all these idiots trying to post the first chapter of their fanfic and then direct you to where you can buy the rest.
AO3 has plenty of fanfic of public domain works. One of the problems with gatekeeping original work is that any way you try to distinguish it (not based on a specific canon, not an IP issue, etc.) will apply to some set of obviously allowable fandoms.
As for fan art… OTW has failed fan artists. They needed protection as much as or even more than fic writers. Just look at Tumblr! If we had succeeded at making DeviantArt but allowing boners, fan art fandom could have been safe all these years. Or when Tumblr inevitably shat the bed, we could have scooped up all those people instead of them scattering to twitter and god knows where.
OTW has failed vidders too, at least in terms of preservation. I know I’m not the only one who thinks this. Other major people from like the first Board and shit have discussed this with me offline. Doing some kind of vidding project, possibly outside of OTW is on a lot of our to-do lists. But at least one of OTW’s biggest victories has been that copyright exemption. OTW has demonstrably done really positive things for vidders that other organizations and sites have not. As a vidder, I never expected to see good hosting for the actual video files, and I’m quite content.
But fan artists… yeah. That argument makes sense at least from a place of frustration.
BTW, for the love of god, if you’re a n00b to OTW stuff, please do not reblog this post excitedly telling me that hosting fan art is on OTW’s road map, so yay, good news. Someone always does that, and it’s so irritating. I haven’t been involved in OTW in years, but I used to be, and I know what is on the roadmap. The couple of you who do heavy lifting on sysadmin and coding and policy things are welcome to weigh in as usual. I know none of us like that we can’t host fan art. It’s not what we intended.
Nonetheless, I found this argument to be the perfect being the enemy of the good. If we can save more text now without losing much of anything, we should do it. The fact that we’re fucking up on the fan art front is not a reason to spread the misery around.
V. Is “Original” the Opposite of “Fanfic”?
Okay, so that tl;dr above is why “BNFs” were on one side and “nobodies” were on the other. BNFs from one cultural background founded OTW. BNFs from the other cultural background weren’t even aware that the debate was going on.
But what was the underlying philosophical problem in even having the conversation?
It took me a long time, but I finally worked it out: We had two completely different ways of categorizing writing, and they were so baked into how we phrased questions that everything ended up being unanswerable to the other side. Here is what I came up with:
Schema 1
Fanfic - based on someone else’s IP
Original Work - the opposite
Schema 2
Non-Fannish Work - School essays, stories you are writing to try to sell to a mainstream publisher
Fannish Work Type 1 - based on other people’s characters directly (i.e. fanfic) Type 2 - based on tropes or whatever (“original slash” and the like)
Now, in the current moment when half of Tumblr just got into Chinese webnovels and the m/m ebook industry is thriving in English, original, tropey, BL-ish work is no longer different from “things I am trying to sell”. But this is how the divide was circa 2005 on fannish websites, and it’s the divide that was driving this internal OTW debate.
VI. Let’s Summarize the Camps One More Time
So, again, the debate makes perfect sense if you understand who was involved.
On the mainstream “But that’s not fanfic? I’m confused?” side:
Big US TV fandoms in English
Fandom historians of K/S–>buddy cop slash–>SGA, etc.
Americans
On the other side:
Anime fandom
“Original slash” fandom that had already been chased off of everywhere
People upset that AO3 wasn’t farther on translating the interface and supporting non-English language fandom.
People upset about US-centrism in fandom
Yes, I am very white, very American, and by now very into old buddy cop shows, but this was basically how the breakdown worked. It meant that something that looked like a minor quibble to one side was really, really not.
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upfrog · 5 years ago
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So I finished reading Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality
This isn’t so much a review, as an attempt to cement some of my thoughts, and to at least write something down, the better that I will not look back in a year and not be able to remember a thing of what I thought of HPMOR. But overall... that was quite a thing.
HPMOR is long. Longer (by word count, which isn’t a perfect method of judging this) than War and Peace, the normal benchmark for “really long books”. I don’t consider getting through it to be an accomplishment, in the sense of say, getting through Homestuck, though maybe that’s only because I have tried, and failed to do the latter several times. It may also be because the plot is, for all it’s time travel and scientific tangents, less complex than Homestuck. I do not expect it to stick in my mind the way the canonical books do. While I do not consider them to be high literature, the canonical Harry Potter books, in addition to being entirely an entirely decent story, had a certain... Depth, of sorts, to them. Some of this may come from the midi-chlorian effect; the workings of magic are never discussed greatly in the canonical books, but much of HPMOR Harry’s efforts are devoted to understanding magic from a scientific perspective. I think it is more likely that it is because HPMOR simply had a more limited scope.
HPMOR set out to be a puzzle, an encouragement of rational thought patterns, a demonstration of how they might be applied to great benefit. And it does this. While potential plot holes and inconsistencies exist, it does this fairly well on the whole. But there isn’t that much beneath it, at least not that I have seen. It’s a good enough story, and the way it chooses to fill in the unfinished coloring book of Rowling’s world creates a compellingly interesting universe, albeit not a pleasant one. It has some good humor at some parts (more on that later), many clever moments, and some moments that are, frankly, just plain awesome, though these often contribute to the monstrously overpowered being that Harry is. Both versions shared the core theme of (spoiler warning: the rest of this paragraph. If you’re interested, I’d really advise you to just read it so that you don’t have the dramatic tension reduced) Harry ultimately triumphing by virtue of who he is. Triumphing by being, as we would describe it, a better human being than his opponent. The difference is that in the canonical books, this is a much more theological process. By the final book, Rowling is pretty much bashing us over the head with a crucifix. I still maintain that, unless the hill you wish to die on is unmarried teen snogging, declaring Harry Potter as heresy for the simple fact that it includes magic is to foolishly ignore the veritable flood of Christian messaging the books contain. I thought I’d made a post about that, but apparently not, so I’ll divert myself to that briefly. 
Spoilers for the whole canonical Harry Potter main series in the following paragraph:
The entire story is based on an innocent child who was permitted to live because of the intensely real power and protection offered by the selfless sacrifice of another to protect said child. So there, straight off the bat, right in the premise. And then in the 7th book, Harry does the exact same thing, but more so, and pretty much pulls an Aslan, “dying” willingly to protect others, but not by this being truly killed. And it’s not like the Christian messaging in Narnia is obscure. And at the end of the first Harry Potter book, Dumbledore, the most “good guy” character that the series has to offer goes off explaining how “to the well organized mind, death is but the next great adventure”. Then, in no particular order, having not done anything like a read through specifically looking out for these: the primacy of the soul over the physical, the specifically soul-corrupting nature of evil and killing, the power of redemption and forgiveness, the ultimate triumph of good over evil, the concept of powers that, while attainable, will damage your soul forever, and the existence of life after death. Anyway, back to the main matter.
HPMOR lacks any semblance of this depth (not that this is the deepest thing in the world mind), at least that I have been able to detect, and this makes it a lesser story to me.
The first ten or so chapters of HPMOR were pretty great as comedy. Harry constantly befuddling the wizarding world, and being befuddled by it, makes for some great laughs. Later on it undergoes a pretty significant tone change, and I had a very hard time adjusting to it, and enjoying the latter portion (which makes up most of the fic) for what it is. I did ultimately reach that point, but it was jarring.
This fic has some pretty obscure references. Have any of y’all read “Negima!?”? The author of this fic has. ( or at least, he’s watched some of the show.) It also had an offhanded reference to Madoka Magica, which is less obscure, but I still appreciate it. 
HPMOR Harry just keeps on getting more and more powers. (potential spoilers ahead, less severe): It seems like every month he’s making some discovery of how to do something that the entire wizarding world “knows” is totally impossible. It makes a certain sense, in context, but it certainly does contribute to some Mary Sue-like feeling. But on the other hand, Harry routinely oversteps his cleverness, failing to think things through enough, missing obvious points that would have counter-indicated his action. And some of the consequences are rather severe, so I don’t knock too many points off for it. Harry is powerful, but he is also rather a child genius in this telling, and all things considered, most of his discoveries don’t seem too ridiculous. 
I earlier mentioned that the world HPMOR painted was rather interesting. It (mostly) doesn’t directly contradict the wizarding world as portrayed in the common, but it does color in many of the blanks, and this author paints in dark colors. Wizarding britain, as portrayed in HPMOR, would be considered barbaric to most of the people reading this. Or perhaps it would merely be considered “medieval”. It certainly has some things going for it. It is portrayed as a place with relatively little history of institutional sexism, or racism amongst wizards. Even the stodgiest pure bloods find it silly to discriminate based on skin color. Wizarding Britain sees little wrong with homosexuality, and it is entirely un-taboo. But things get worse from there.
It is implied, or at least, I took away the message from my last reading some years ago, that the Wizarding power structure in the canonical books is... incompetent. That the benchmark of being a “fully qualified” witch or wizard does not in fact entail very much true competency, and many of the more powerful figures are somewhat dumb. HPMOR confirms this, and brings it into the light, offering more examples of just how useless most wizards are in matters non-magical. Wizarding Britain is controlled by an incompetent government, which is primarily controlled by one or several “Noble and Most Ancient House(s)”. The extent of Lucius Malfoy’s influence is brought up often in the canonical books, and the same is true here. This is a world where (minor spoiler for something before chapter 10-ish) a young noble raping a girl, and yes, girl is the proper noun here, repeatedly, and getting away with it indefinitely, is an open secret. Where this young noble’s security is secured by: a) the victim and her families’ fear of his familial power, b) memory charms, and c) a court system where the interests of the Noble Houses are often a primary concern. 
Wizarding news is minimal, and it seems to primarily toe the ministry (which is to say, aristocratic) line, save for the Quibbler, which... on the whole, isn’t great news either. There is no particular concept of a fair trial at play in this world, especially if your crime was committed against a noble house. Less than three days investigation is considered enough to go from crime to a sentence of ten years in Azkaban. And then there’s Azkaban itself. For all it is a prominent feature in the books, and Dumbledore’s opposition to it is often mentioned, Azkaban doesn’t get much light shone on it in the canonical books. This is likely in part because it is such an incredibly, ridiculously cruel place that it becomes very difficult for many of us muggles to imagine it being an appropriate punishment for anyone. I won’t go into great detail, but there are very few crimes capable of causing enough pain that, even working from a perspective of vengeance, instead of justice or rehabilitation, it becomes very difficult to mathematically justify Azkaban. 
To clarify, by mathematically justify, I mean, what percent of the pain a criminal inflicts by his misdeed can fairly be unleashed upon the criminal as punishment. Is a beating a proper punishment for beating someone? What about two beatings? Or three? At what point does the severity of the punishment become so much greater than that of the crime that it stops being sensible? If you slapped me, would I, absent any concerns about self defense or ensuring my future safety, be justified in immediately shooting you? Or boiling you? Or beating you to death? The murders who are so successful that we stop calling them murders and start calling them statesmen might have a shot at a mathematically (if not necessarily ethically) justifiable cell in Azkaban. For everyone else, it’s pretty difficult. And in both versions of the story, wizarding justice is NOT perfect. Innocent people go to Azkaban, and are exposed to this as well. Azkaban is pretty terrible, and most of the wizarding world just sort of... accepts it.
Anyway, I probably have more to say, but I really need to wrap this up. This probably wasn’t very coherent, so sorry about that. 
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dogmapod · 6 years ago
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01 Falun Gong
Hey everyone, welcome to the show Dogma: A Podcast About Cults, I’m your host Denis Ricardo.
This show is about cults. The origins, practices and abuses of cults. So, if you are uncomfortable with descriptions of sexual, physical and mental violence and abuse, this is not the show for you.
I’m gonna try to keep it light and fun, but this stuff can get kind of dark… so you’ve been warned.
Today we’re gonna look into a cult by the name of Falun Gong. It’s one that not a lot of people have heard of, but are surprisingly very familiar with.
It’s a fairly young cult, not more than 27 years old. It began in 1992 in the northeast of China and was founded by a guy by the name of Li Hongzhi. I’m going to apologize on the pronunciation of some of these proper nouns, I am really bad at pronouncing the tones in Chinese languages.
The cult all began with Li Hongzhi running a public qigong seminar in the city of Changchun.
Qigong is an ancient Chinese practice of meditation and slow movement for the purpose of self-healing. It was and is still used in many Chinese communities as a form of alternative medicine.
The modern qigong movement started in the 1950s, shortly after the Cultural Revolution started by Mao Zedong.
Mao was a pretty hardline atheist, and believed that superstitious practices were not good for the advancement of China and communism. So, soldiers in Mao’s army adapted qigong to just be about meditation and focus, taking out all the of the spiritual elements of it. The practice was pretty popular and remains very common to this day.
Li felt a little differently about qigong, though. He feels as though the spiritual elements should be restored. So, he did just that.
Falun Gong was actually in the Chinese Communist Party’s favor, and initially saw it as a good movement. But they quickly changed their mind after they thought the movement was getting a little too independent. The Chinese government is notorious for monitoring the religious practices in China. So, in 1999 the Chinese Communist Party branded Falun Gong as heretical and began a massive propaganda campaign against the group. It mostly focused on negative articles in state-run press, which Falun Gong was quick to protest.
In April of 1999 10,000 Falun Gong protested outside a government compound in the capital Beijing demand that the government recognize them as a religious movement and stop persecuting them.
In China there are only 5 officially recognized religions because it is an atheist state. Those are Buddhism, Taoism, Catholicism, Protestantism and Islam.
Side note, just because I’m formerly Catholic,
China’s relationship with Catholicism kind of interesting, China does not recognize the power of the Holy See’s authority to appoint bishops. So Catholics in China aren’t “Roman” Catholic or “Orthodox” Catholics they’re “Chinese” Catholics. Their relationship is contentious, but China has granted the Pope the right to reject any of the Chinese appointed bishops.
But moving on… at this point, the leader of Falun Gong, Li, was already in New York at and he was getting the cult off the ground here in the US.
But things were pretty bad for Falun Gong practitioners in China.
Reports of forced re-education, extrajudicial executions, harvesting of organs and attacks by the Chinese police at the behest of the Communist Party against Falun Gong practitioners surfaced. But, it’s not the easiest to corroborate these claims, because neither Falun Gong or the CCP are necessarily the most upfront about their practices. The New York Times has said there has been at least 2000 deaths in 2009, though Falun Gong claims that number is nearly twice that. An independent investigator, Ethan Gutmann estimates there were at least 65,000 Falun Gong members killed for organs based off of interviews. Chinese authorities do not publish statistics of Falun Gong members killed or not killed.
OK, do some less depressing stuff, Falun Gong’s main practices.
Falun Gong is a blend of traditional Chinese beliefs, Taoism, Buddhism and Confucianism.
They have three central tenants of power Truthfulness (真, Zhēn)*, Compassion (善, Shàn)*, and Forbearance (忍, Rěn)*. Thank you, Google Translate. These are achieved through meditative exercise and performance.
*these words were reproduced with Google Translate pronouncing them
Falun Gong’s teachings say that everybody is innately good and divine, but that we have descended into darkness and accrued bad karma. Reincarnation is handled by different gods for different people and ultimately the goal is to be released from the cycle of samsara and to reach enlightenment.
This sounds pretty normal for an Asian religion like Buddhism. So far so good? [With hesitation in their voice] Yeah, it gets a little weirder.
Falun Gong emphasizes traditional Chinese teachings and disregards scientific claims like evolution. This also explains why they are vehemently against communism because it is not Chinese, it’s a European philosophy.
As I said before China is an atheist state, and typically Buddhists do not have an issue with evolution and Buddhism. I couldn’t find any numbers specifically citing the public acceptance of evolution in China, however. But I have found that it is taught in school like here in American coastal elite public schools without much of a hitch.
David Ownby, a professor at the Center of East Asian Studies at the University of Montreal interviewed the leader Li Hongzhi and said that Li claims there are 10,000 supernatural powers, such as clairvoyance, precognition, levitation and transmutation and these can be achieved by humans.
Li stated at a lecture in Australia that
“…homosexuality, organized crime and promiscuous sex are not the standards of being human.”
His stance on homosexuality lead to the rescinding of a Nobel Peace Prize nomination by San Franciscan legislators back in 2001.
Li and Falun Gong have also been criticized for their teaching of mixed-marriages. A New York Times article from 2001 states
“[Li] said interracial children are the spawn of the ‘Dharma Ending Period,' a Buddhist phrase that refers to an era of moral degeneration. […] he said each race has its own paradise, and he later told followers in Australia that, 'The yellow people, the white people, and the black people have corresponding races in heaven.’ As a result, he said, interracial children have no place in heaven without his intervention.”
Many practitioners of Falun Gong have denied this and have pointed out that many of its members are in mixed-race families.
But, let’s not forget the aliens.
So Li in general seems to be against most modern things. In a 1999 TIME Magazine interview in he said:
“The aliens have introduced modern machinery like computers and airplanes…everyone thinks that scientists invent on their own when in fact their inspiration is manipulated by the aliens. In terms of culture and spirit, they already control man…the ultimate purpose is to replace humans. If cloning human beings succeeds, the aliens can officially replace humans”
Li also thinks very highly of himself. The BBC, quote:
“…he is a being from a higher level who has come to help [mankind] from the destruction it could face as the result of rampant evil.”
Having a leader proclaim to know the way to save humanity is one of the signs that the leader’s group is a cult.
So, remember when I said that another one ways to get to their three central tenants was performance? Well, you know how they do it? By selling you $150 tickets to see the spectacle of 5000 years of traditional Chinese dance while listening to anti-atheist, anti-communist propaganda… it’s Shen Yun.
So apparently Shen Yun ads popping up everywhere is now a meme, but I’ve grown up in California all my life, and I swear I’ve been seeing these things since at least 2008. These things aren’t new to me. But I guess they’re finally getting to middle America, so people can joke about it.
I said before Falun Gong was anti-Communist and anti-evolution? Well, it shows up in the performance
Here’s a sample of lyrics from a song in the show called “Awaken”
"So long ago you came down to this world For millennia you have reincarnated here Fighting to get ahead, the true you has faded Self-interested actions have cost you your purity Atheism is a pack of lies The heresy of evolution now eclipses the Divine word Amidst disaster, people complain that the gods have forsaken us Do not use science to drive humanity toward danger You came to this world for salvation, your destiny To return to heaven is your soul's deepest wish You came to this world for salvation, your destiny To return to heaven is your destiny."
And, as I said before, the group is condemned by the Chinese government. The Chinese embassy made a post on their website, calling Falun Gong an anti-communist cult, that it undermines US-Chinese relations and that Shen Yun is a political tool for this cult and is anti-Chinese agitprop. This was all in English, and I find it a little weird they’d call it “agitprop” because that’s typically reserved for communist propaganda. So I found it a little strange.
But clearly this is also propaganda, it’s a statement by a government body, and all reports on its more outrageous beliefs are from western publications so there is a bias. But straight from the horse’s mouth is the anti-evolution message and we know that these performers don’t get paid.
In the end, it’s hard to classify this as a cult. It has cult-like elements, like surveillance by a government, a savior-leader. But it lacks a hierarchy and I could not find anyone who had left the movement and faced consequences for it, which are typically signs of a cult.
It’s got some very out-there, potentially dangerous beliefs, but is it a cult? [With hesitation in their voice) Personally, I’m gonna say yes, though I don’t think it necessarily ticks all those checkboxes, so maybe it can’t really be classified as a cult.
Now comes the fun part, where I get to beg you for money. I come to you hat in hand to maybe just consider throwing a dollar or two to my Patreon. I can’t offer much right now as far as donor rewards go, but I will try my best to give you access to episodes early and maybe some other fun side projects that I have available that are still loosely related to cults. That you so much if you decide to be ever so gracious.
Thanks so much for listening, that was the first episode. I will put all of my sources in the description. Most are from Wikipedia, but I checked to see if those sources were legit, so lay off me.
New time, we’re going to be focusing on a cult a little closer to home and maybe some of you remember this cult very vividly.
All right, take care and goodbye.
Citations:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Falun_Gong
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_Falun_Gong
http://www.atheistrepublic.com/forums/atheist-hub/shen-yun
https://culteducation.com/group/1254-falun-gong/6922-is-falun-gong-a-cult.html
https://www.jewishpolicycenter.org/2010/11/30/china-conundrum/
http://faluninfo.net/category/persecution/killings/individual-cases-of-falun-gong-deaths/
https://www.amnesty.org/en/countries/
https://books.google.com/books?id=Bwqkwx4SWS0C&printsec=frontcover&dq=ownby+falun&client=firefox-a&cd=1#v=onepage&q&f=false
Song Credits:
“Frozen Jungle” and “Dreaming of You” by Monplaisir under the name Komiku (http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Komiku/)
“我们是毛主席的红卫兵 (We Are Chairman Mao’s Red Guard)” found at Songs of China’s Cultural Revolution (http://academics.wellesley.edu/Polisci/wj/China/CRSongs/crsongs.htm)
“Dies Irae” found on Archive.org (https://archive.org/details/GregorianChantMass
“Ride to the Party” by Monplaisir under the name Anonymous420 (https://chezmonplaisir.bandcamp.com/album/this-is-not-you)
Consider joining the Patreon!
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sleepymarmot · 6 years ago
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A couple of months ago, after finishing COUNTER/Weight, I spent about a week in a total hangover, relistening to scenes and having feelings. I took some notes, but procrastinated posting them, and then finally got distracted. But, a) I hate leaving things I intended for tumblr unposted, even if they have value only for me, and b) I also hate posting things out of order, and there's a big TM liveblog incoming. So, here's a bunch of really random thoughts about C/w from past me.
The gnosis virus did go nowhere huh. I was hopeful for a minute when one of the finale intros mentioned it, but that was it. What was the purpose of that arc even. [Note from present me: Lol. At least I feel better about this one!]
Oh, and the patch AuDy left never reappeared either. And the idea from the faction game that Aria's images owned by EarthHome/Petrichor transmit Rigour code… That's the flip side of the coin. On the one hand, it's really cool to see the creative process – on the other, it sometimes feels like you're listening to people write a script for the tv show, but only get to see a half of the finished product. It's fascinating to see the universe grow organically and the players to come up with new ideas and get excited about them – but that means numerous retcons, some of them not even presented as such, because the creators forgot what the previous revision was or didn't thought it was important. It's a unique feature of the medium that player choice directs the narrative and it's not bound by railroading – but that means some roads lead nowhere, and some branches dry and fall off.
It's a bit harder to make peace with something that could have easily been developed more within the existing plot of the show. How come there's a player character whose consciousness consists of three different people in various combinations, but nobody seems to be curious how that works? No PC or NPC ever asked “Which one of you is speaking right now?” or something. The final episodes made a lot of things clearer, but it still felt too little, too late. Hard not to be reminded of that gripe about certain two characters sharing one character sheet one of whom was left underdeveloped and half-forgotten… Both are very ambitious concepts that require a double amount of work from the player, so I feel bad complaining they weren't realized to full potential, but…
Speaking of L&D… I still want to know how the hell did that one engineer all by herself design 4 gods, one of which became a basis for technology that was advanced even for the civilizations 80,000 years later? This woman singlehandedly surpassed any technological achievement of humanity before and after. Who Is She
I saw a “Wake me up: before you go go / when september ends / wake me up inside” meme and thought “heh, this sounds relevant, which member of the Chime is which?” and it already made me sad, but then I realized that I'd never actually heard the september song and looked it up and. The lyrics fit so well. What the fuck. It's an old song everyone keeps joking about. Why is it appropriate for a legitimate fanmix. What. I guess the word “September” will never be the same again for me.
I looked up the rules for Firebrands, the game used for the finale. Oh my, challenges for the dance minigame are so overtly romantic when you see them in a list together! Imagine this cast of characters having to answer to “do you place your hand upon my elbow, shoulder, waist, or hip?” lmao. Also I didn't realize “May I?” was part of the rules for “stealing time together”. (And I found out there's a party version of that minigame with bug-themed challenges. I might have dug too deep…) "Tactical skirmish" is a really fascinating concept, I've never seen such a masochistic combat system! Really faces the player with the violence they're inflicting: sure, you can always fight on, but are you ready to live with what you'll have to do? But for it to work fully, you need a lot of non-expendable NPCs on both sides. The one with the most likeable team wins! (Like Mako did.)
I'm relistening to Three Conversations and it's pretty interesting that Ibex has a bunch perfectly lifelike android bodies, right? There is no such technology seen anywhere else. Did Righteousness develop and privatize that? Are they so complex that only a Divine would have enough computing power to successfully mimic organic life? Can Aria convince Righteousness to help her perform on stage without leaving her duties? Also, like with AuDy, I wonder how Ibex & Righteousness' consciousness works. Is it a single mind, spread across every body he has, or even anything Righteousness is running on, having a bunch of different conversations at once if he needs to? Or is the original Ibex just gone, and what's left is a personality imprint hanging on to the connection to his still living body, imitating his former self like the automated recording Cass saw wore his face? In other words, has Ibex completely fused with Righteousness, or assimilated and destroyed by it? Does he not exist anymore as an independent singular being, or does he not exist at all? Most info indicates the former, but there was also “You’re not in there anymore” “No”.
If Orth and Jace are anime fans with their Kingdom Come and Panther, then Ibex is the guy who's way too into dinosaurs or paleontology. It's as if the heads of various confessions were called Triceratops, Stegosaurus etc. and only one of them knows wtf that means, and also he compares his Divine to… Were there scavenging dinosaurs? I'm looking at an article that suggests T. Rex might have been a scavenger, so yeah he would compare Righteousness to a goddamn T. Rex.
Hey what do you think is the most thematically aproppriate part of the Hieron anime for Orth to watch alone at night during the Kingdom game. What's the best thematic parallel for when he turns off the episode and thinks he made a mistake. Do you think that he once, after a long day and a long month and maybe a long year of feeling helpless and doomed, sits down for a distraction but ends up sobbing “How could they let this happen to Mother Glory”
On Joypark, there are definitely statues of Eidolons, ancient and holy, that were repainted and repurposed as Hieron deities. Imagine a giant Greek or Roman style marble statue of Apote – and it’s painted over as Samot, with an anime face and in really bright plain colors like these “reconstructions of original coloring” that actually only use base colors so they look like cheap action figures.
I was reading Austin's top ten games of 2016 list on Waypoint and he gave first place to The Sprawl! Aww!
The Downloads folder in my phone gallery is funny bc it mostly consists of every freely available f@tt map and also that one photo of Tristan Walker (because I tried to redraw it, very unsuccessfully). I go check a map and every time am met by Ibex just. staring at me. It's unsettling
Some of the many options for how Apostolosian gender could have been presented:
Apostolosians prefer to be addressed by the most neutral available human pronoun, represented as "they" in English, because the human languages don't have anything close enough
Apostolosian pronouns are represented in English by a set of real-life common pronouns and neopronouns
There's a list of Apostolosian pronouns and they're just used in English verbatim (Really impractical because the players need a cheat sheet, but the most fair)
Humans apply human genders to Apostolosians. Apostolosians may be offended, may find it convenient, or something else
As Austin said in the post-mortem, the Eidolon system is not gender. It's represented in English by titles/honorifics/etc
Any of the above, and the creators are aware of the difference between personal pronouns, grammatical gender, and social gender
And that’s not even touching the core problem of what the concept of gender in a futuristic, techonologically advanced society would look like. Yes, I'm complaining about this for the third time but I'm just. So tired of native English speakers' takes on gendered language. They could have made Apostolosian gender look like anything and they made it look like that fucking mess... God, I really hope TM is good enough to make me forget and forgive the experience of listening to “he... sorry, they” for 100 hours. [Note from present me: Well… mostly]
Here’s my take on this: eidolons in Apostolosian language are absurdly broad noun classes with associated classifiers (which fits both the idea that they’re gender but not actually, and that each of them is a patron to several unrelated aspects of life) Apostolosian: the word “(Apo)thesa” is used to refer to people who follow the corresponding eidolon, as well as for counting buildings, heavy machinery, military units, specific strategies and tactics, log entries, historical documents and chronicles, history textbooks and monographs, and eras :) Human: what the fuck
Very critical, imaginative worldbuilding in which 80,000+ years into the future humanity somehow has 21st century gender and 21st century capitalism! TBH, I find any sci-fi set in the far future inherently silly – we can’t really imagine the future technogy and its effect on society. But it feels like C/w barely even tried, and to hear it boast about “critical worldbuilding” is kinda strange. I assumed that meant they build the world critically, not that they recreate modern society or some aspect of it and criticize that! It’s just another Star Trek then! And it was already clear right during the setup when they said “We don’t want Star Trek aliens” and immediately created Apostolosians.
I haven't seen a single piece of fanart with Taako and Mako. Come on, does nobody want to see these two next to each other! Especially considering the outfits artists like to put Taako in!
I really don't understand how and why people do fandom activities on Twitter and Discord where the creators also have accounts. It gives me so much secondhand embarrassment. I can barely peek at Twitter posts before running away. Old-fashioned opinion apparently but I strongly believe the main fandom space and the interaction-with-original-creators space should be separate. I need a space where I can voice my opinions, especially negative ones, with complete freedom. I need to be able to say exactly what's on my mind. But I wouldn't want any of the people on the podcast to read something unfiltered like my complaints above. Being in the same space as the source content creators obliges any decent person to be diplomatic and constructive. And the creators, in turn, need a space where they don't come across complete randos yelling at them about something they said in a podcast three years ago. I'm already feeling uncomfortable because hearing to strangers pour their hearts out for hundreds of hours gives me way too much insight on who they are as people. Of course, nothing’s stopping them from lurking on Tumblr or AO3 and even reading this very post, but a platform where they have official accounts is still a different thing! I even feel uncomfortable talking about the podcast creators using their first names so much. To my ear, referring to a total stranger by first name, especially if it's a shortened form, sounds so rude! I'm not their friend, I don't have that right! But, of course, writing something like “Mr Walker” in my liveblogs would have been even weirder, nobody does that...
Is it a common experience to not even think about fanfiction after listening to Hieron, but going straight to AO3 after C/w? I feel like since Hieron is still a work in progress, writing/reading about it is stepping on the GM&players' toes, and C/w is finished so it's like they gave us the keys to the playground, it's the fandom's turn now. This story has so much blanks and they must be filled! In one of the early episodes they joked that something cute they said would encourage people to ship Mako/Cass and I was like "Bold of you to assume they aren't already" and, indeed, I was right and it's the most popular C/w ship on AO3. Too bad I’m so indifferent to it…
It’s a shame we never had a full scene with Ariadne or even learned what they were up to during the finale.
I still don't understand how Ibex went from “evil CEO” to “leader of a proletarian revolution”, these sound like completely opposite concepts to me
I probably have talked about this too much and have pretty much given up on ever getting a clear picture due to all of these reimaginings but… Righteousness and Voice… Ibex takes Righteousness out of Mako but he still has Voice, that was pretty much openly stated, correct? So how does that work? I’m guessing Righteousness is hidden somewhere in Voice’s code. But if so:
Did Maryland know? On the one hand, she’s too competent not to. On the other, why would she ever allow or accept that?
How did Righteousness not get corrupted by Rigour too? Maybe it did, but broke off the connection with the rest of itself to contain the damage? Or maybe, on the contrary, it kept in contact and was sending intel to Ibex the whole time? But in that case he would have provided more help in the finale.
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almaasi · 7 years ago
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reaction post typed while watching SPN 13x20 “Unfinished Business”
mostly just my pansexual!Gabriel headcanons tbh
03:07
MEREDITH GLYNN YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
give me soft emotional supernatural drama yaaaaasss
directed by Richard Speight, Jr. himself!!! whee
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03:09
oh my goooooooood sometimes i forget how pretty-faced dean was around season 5
not that he’s any less pretty now, he was just... sparkly before
now he’s more solid and faceted......idk how to explain this. like the philosopher’s stone in the first harry potter film??? as opposed to a disco ball
.........sorry jensen i mean well i swear
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03:13
this recap is like.....a recap of EVERYTHING
did you mean: the entire show
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03:15
the tune gabriel’s playing sounds kinda like the theme tune for the old tv show “agatha christie’s poirot”
and is also beautiful
and is also played on a kazoo apparently
(but the recording does not sound like a kazoo, i would like to know what instrument was actually used)
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03:17
omfg the funky music
i can’t believe gabriel is a character let alone that he’s like this
this show ????
just
this show
thirteen, nearly fourteen years and this is the thing that’s happening
no complaints...... just sometimes i facepalm and smile fondly at the same time
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03:19
dancing wizard professor gabriel out to steal your candy
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03:21
this room looks very much like a refurbished version of the cowboy one in “tombstone”
i mean i know they’re basically always the same but it’s SO recognisable
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03:22
it’s weird hearing dean talk about “mom and jack” being “hurt or worse” ‘cause i’ve just spent the last week immersed in my own 5k headcanon fic where Dean gets married to Cas, and then they go to rescue everyone (Prince of the Ether Realms)
what do you mEAN my fic isn’t canon
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03:25
FUCK YEAH VIBRATING BED
I BET DEAN’S GONNA BE LIKE “I CLAIM THAT BED”
and then lie face-down and naked because of reasons
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03:26
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oh so NOW mary’s hair grows
six months alone and it never changed, then suddenly WHOOSH
must be jack, a magic hair-growing sprite
i knew he took after sam somehow
little team free will superbaby
also i totally typed “alex” instead of “jack” there
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03:30
gabriel: “it’ll recharge eventually”
ahh so it DOES recharge
gabriel doing grace-recharging is giving me flashbacks to Hart of the Storm. wow i loved writing gabriel in that. like if you didn’t wanna read the whole fic at least read chapter 21 “Across the Universe”. i mean, suuuuuuuper spoilers for the rest of the fic but GABE
sorry tangent
BACK TO THE THING
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i guess gabriel’s safeword is ~raspberries~
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03:37
what a pretty horse man
why does he look irish???? is he irish???
maybe it’s just the green plaid suit and the hair
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03:40
gabriel: “hi handsome, you ready to die?”
did i already have a pan!gabe headcanon? i forget
well anyway he’s pansexual now according to me
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03:41
i just realised, as soon as dean, sam and cas burst into the alternate universe they’re gonna realise mary and jack have taken over the place, rallied an army, probably teamed up with charlie, ketch, and probably kevin by that time, and then all they gotta do is join forces and fight micheal, who will ultimately end up fighting lucifer in the original universe (probably killing him?)
but yeah there’s gonna be a moment where dean’s like “BUT WE JUST USED UP EVERYTHING WE HAVE TO GET HERE AND YOU’RE TELLING ME YOU’RE FINE?!?!!”
but in a nice, chill, relieved, mildly exasperated sort of way
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03:45
i really fuckin hope jacob survives this
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03:47
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is it just me or did dean take his jacket off in front of gabriel a “hey sexy” kinda way
????????????
i swear i wasn’t looking for anything
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03:50
“i thought this story had pornstars”
a dude with no shirt on in the room
definitely pansexual
(i mean, more the other guy than gabe, but GABE TOO OKAY let me have this)
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03:51
DEAN.
OH MY GOD.
i feel like he’d be perfectly okay listening to gabriel talk about Having Sex With Women and then There’s A Dude As Well and dean’s still totally enthralled and into it
if they were in a high school au, gabe would be cas’ older brother and dean’s queer-ass role model who tells him dirty stories after school while they eat cereal from the box and watch cartoons, and cas does homework and rolls his eyes and makes affronted noises but is secretly imagining himself doing these things with dean
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03:55
gabriel to sam: “don’t let anybody ever tell you you’re just a pretty face”
dean:
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03:56
WAIT LOKI
AS IN GABRIEL
AS IN NOT GABRIEL BUT A DIFFERENT GOD?????????
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04:02
the way sam talks dean into being nice to gabriel is so soft and precious
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who allowed these eyelashes and lips in combination
ILLEGAL
(sign me up)
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04:13
aw man did jacob and the others get hit by the blast?? :c
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04:14
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something about this shot and the whistling and the weird uncanny nature of it all reminds me desperately of “dirk gently’s holistic detective agency”
down to the norse gods and the “person being an animal and having a ghost animal face over their face” quite frankly
100% chance meredith glynn watched dirk gently and was inspired by it
god i love this woman and i want to meet her
there is absolutely NO chance we wouldn’t get along like a house on fire flourishing with flowers all around
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04:22
EW WHY WOULD YOU PUT A LOLLIPOP BACK IN A BOX WITHOUT AT LEAST WASHING IT FIRST ASFDGAFJS
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wait didn’t dean kill odin?? ages back? season 7? or was that zeus? the head of some ancient pantheon anyway
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04:24
the box of lollipops is probably a weapon tbh
edit: a weapon of mass diSTRACTION. it was nothing, it was just a box of suckers
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04:25
loki: “what would you do for your fath--”
dean: *STAB*
wow he does not want a daddy issues therapy session right now huh
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04:28
gabriel just stabbed loki
that whistling music.......is almost IDENTICAL to the whistling theme in dirk gently
same notes, just a little slower and deeper
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04:30
aw maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan
why are the people of colour always dead
actually why though. someone explain it to me. why are they expendable.
i am so GLUM about this
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04:31
*red bull ad voice* being a nephilim gives you wiiiiiings~
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04:32
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“ophidian hotel”
noun 1. a reptile of the group Ophidia; a snake.
adjective 1. relating to or denoting snakes.
as in, the snake dripping venom into loki’s eye
jeeeez gabriel really picks his symbolic hotels well doesn’t he
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04:36
sam: “cas is helping gabriel settle in, rowena’s boning up with the demon tablet”
again, why was cas not in this episode? besides budgeting i guess
also i immediately imagined cas fluffing gabriel’s pillows and telling him all about how his and dean’s relationship has developed over the last handful of years until gabriel interrupts with “hey kid, i meant what happened in general, not just to your lovesick little angel heart”
and then rowena shouts all sweet and scottish from the next room, “that’s really all that matters, pumpkin!”
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04:42
dean: “i don’t care what happens to me. i never really have”
OUCH
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04:43
sam: “and if we die? we’ll do that together too”
;A;
is it bad that i immediately thought of my sister
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04:44
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thank you sam for being ........how do i say this..... mature? but also the......... good kind of codependent??? if that’s even a thing
trying to be a team
i dunno, is this a step back or a step forward? maybe they’re just jogging on the spot, who knows
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04:46
still waiting for the season finale where team free will all die and then they spend the next season in the afterlife trying to save people and hunt things there too
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anyway this episode
i had no expectations but it was about as good as it should be
again, big issue with dead non-white people?????? who signs off on these things? WHY KILL KEVIN AGAIN??
and the one queer demigod also died
hmmm
but yeah this was fun...ish
and gabriel was great, dean was dean (i.e a total mess trying to do his thing regardless), sam was sensitive and good
9.5/10, could’ve been more enjoyable but i can’t quite put my finger on what was missing exactly.
i feel all quiet inside after watching that, unsure what to make of it
i just re-read this post and i still feel the same quietness, and am still not sure what my feelings are. maybe my feeling is Contemplative ?
sure let’s go with that
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marmoraskeith · 7 years ago
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Why Voltron Legendary Defender Doesn’t Have One Main Character and That’s Perfectly Okay: A Novel
Here it is. An extended version of this post I made a couple days ago, because it has apparently come to this point.
The issue? Fans continuing to circulate and claim that Voltron: Legendary Defender is based around one or two main characters when that couldn’t be farther from the truth.
I’m going to preface this by saying I love this show and every single character in it. This post is coming from a place of complete neutrality. I’m saying this from the standpoint of a writer who can understand where the writers of the show are coming from. This is not a post bashing on any one character, or saying that someone doesn’t deserve to be a protagonist or isn’t worthy of the position. 
Warning: it gets long. There is a TL;DR at the end if you’re into that. All of this being said, here we go.
Why are you so pressed about this? Just let people say whatever they want, they aren’t hurting you. 
Usually, I would be all for this, but in this case, I’ve seen so many posts and so many people talking about how certain characters were introduced as the main protagonist(s) and it is so mind-blowingly not what happened that I can’t keep my mouth shut. Sorry! 
No I’m not. This show is centered around the five paladins of Voltron, the two friends they made while discovering they are a part of something much larger than themselves (Allura and Coran), and them finding their place as defenders of the universe. There it is. The entire show summarized in one sentence. Defenders: plural. Stop reducing the show to being about your favorite character(s) just because you want them to officially be the center of attention.
I’m allowed to have a favorite character! 
I never said you couldn’t have one! Not the point :) 
(Insert character here) deserves to be the main character! (Insert character here) is amazing because of X, Y, and Z and doesn’t get enough recognition! 
This is a little something called bias. Bias: (noun) Prejudice in favor of or against one thing, person, or group compared with another, usually in a way considered to be unfair. We’re all biased, whether we are aware of it or not. You have a fav. I have a fav. We all have a fav. I’m not at all saying that your favorite character is not amazing/incredible/worthy of all the praise in the world, but just because you think they are the greatest does not automatically mean the show should be, or is, based around them. 
I love every single character in Voltron. I also love that the show does not have a main character because it gives so much more opportunity for us to find out more about the five paladins, Allura, and Coran, without it being centrally based on one person, which can get pretty old pretty fast. All the main characters, AKA the paladins, have enough depth to each of them that means the show is going to be so much more deep than some of the blander options in the world. How is this a bad thing?? It isn’t. It literally isn’t a bad thing. 
I’m not biased, there’s proof that (insert character here) is the main character of the show. 
Yes, you are. No, there isn’t. 
Voltron IMDB: Five Earth teens - Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge and Shiro - who become the last line of defense for the galaxy in an intergalactic battle against the evil alien force led by King Zarkon.
Official description for the first issue of the VLD comic: From days of long ago, from uncharted regions of the universe comes VOLTRON: LEGENDARY DEFENDER! When Team Voltron takes on a dangerous training mission in deep space, Coran, Princess Allura’s majordomo, is captured by an ancient enemy. It will take teamwork, smarts, and, of course, Voltron, to save their friend’s life.
Netflix: Overwhelmed but ready for action, five aspiring young space explorers learn they have the power to create Voltron, the most powerful robot in the universe. 
I could go on. 
The show is about the five paladins and their mission to—surprise!—defend the universe against evil and use teamwork to do it. The show is not called Lance and Friends, or Keith and Those Other Guys, or Klance VS The Universe. It’s called Voltron: Legendary Defender. Voltron would not be able to become Voltron if not for all five of the paladins and the way they work together to fight evil. It truly could not be put more simply than that. 
Okay except that Lance was introduced as the main character because Blue was the first Lion they found and Keith was introduced as his mysterious love interest. 
No.
If you can’t see how ship-biased this statement and any posts surrounding it is, I don’t know what to do for you.
I’m a Klance shipper. I love the shit out of Klance. But I also know that that statement is so incorrect that it gave me a headache reading it in a post and it’s giving me another one now because I’m remembering that apparently over 1,000+ people actually think this is true.
No and no. 
First off, Blue being the first Lion of Voltron they found (that Keith found first, actually, and that Pidge picked up information about via her alien chatter-device, and Hunk helped pinpoint with his Fraunhofer line, and all of them discovered together) did not automatically appoint Lance as The Main Protagonist. Blue was the only Voltron Lion on Earth. Blue picked Lance as her paladin. These are facts. Blue is a part of Voltron, is only one-fifth of Voltron, and as such, her and her paladin are definitely main characters, but are not the one and only protagonist, because there isn’t one protagonist, there are FIVE, do I really need to go over this again?? Something had to lead them to the rest of the Lions/the beginning of their journey, and them—AS A GROUP—finding Blue was step one. Lance isn’t the main protagonist.
Secondly, Keith wasn’t introduced as Lance’s mysterious love interest. Keith was introduced as Lance’s self-proclaimed rival.
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Contrarily, Keith doesn’t remember Lance at all.
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Keith then remembers Lance as a cargo pilot, Lance is all “Fighter class now, thanks to you dropping out,” yadda yadda. We know. And we also know, and can see, that this isn’t a ~mysterious love interest~ character introduction for Keith. Rivals ≠ lovers. No matter how much you may love that trope, this is in no way a romantic introduction or interaction between Keith and Lance. Please stop spreading this. I truly have a migraine.
There aren’t any tv shows that don’t have one main character.
Wrong-o! There are plenty of shows out there have an Ensemble Cast – Game of Thrones, Friends, The Office, Shameless, Sense8, How To Get Away With Murder, Pretty Little Liars… The list is extensive. The plot rotates between characters, highlighting their strengths, weaknesses, past, future, and potential. Given time, the writers are able to explore multiple storylines through seasons and episodes, which (usually) makes for a riveting, information-rich show that does not solely rely on the plot to move itself along.
Well you’re lying because Keith got an entire season dedicated to him, so obviously the writers are making the show about him.
Were you in the fandom before Season 2 came out in January? Did you see the amount of fan content and meta and speculation and posts surrounding the idea of Keith being Galra? The entire. fandom. wanted this storyline for Keith. We picked up on the clues, asked the Voltron creators at a con about Galra Keith, Jeremy Shada said before s2 that he’d love to see a Galra Keith arc and was quickly told to zip it, everyone and their mother wanted to see Galra Keith.
What were we given? Galra Keith, and then some. Did it take up the entire season? No. 
We finally got to see a side of Keith that was never shown to us in S1 because he had very little personal development there. We saw his fears, his doubts, the questions he has about himself and his past, and he was able to explore parts of that in a few episodes of S2 while also being groomed by Shiro to take his place as Black Paladin in case anything ever happened to him. We went from knowing barely anything about him in S1 (that he was kicked out of the Garrison and that he’s an amazing pilot and knew Shiro before Shiro left for the Kerberos mission) to knowing more about him as a character. 
That, my friends, is character development, and is perfectly normal. Just because Keith had focus on his past this season (just like Pidge did in S1?? Where’s the riot about her being focused on then???? Yeah. That’s what I thought) does not mean that the entire show is now going to move forward focusing solely on him. Chill out and be patient and stop assuming the worst.
Having five characters is a bad idea because someone is going to get left out. (Insert character here) is being ignored/pushed aside/hasn’t gotten a storyline yet. 
This is a matter of opinion. Yes, there is a risk in having plots centered around multiple characters because not every character is going to have a main focus on them every single episode/season. I know there was a huge uproar after S2 finished because many people were unhappy with the treatment of Lance and Hunk and how they seemed to be pushed to the back burner. I think Tyler Labine, Hunk’s VA, put it well:
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GIVE. IT. TIME.
The show is new. The first episode came out just over a year ago this month, and we already have two seasons with a third coming out in 40-something days. There is time. We need to be patient—just because a character has not yet had their personal storyline explored does not mean it isn’t going to happen. 
Season One was centered around Pidge, Hunk, Lance, Shiro, and Keith understanding their place in the universe as the Voltron paladins, and about Pidge finding out more about her family.
Season Two was centered around Shiro and Zarkon’s back-and-forth struggle for power for the Black Lion, about the paladins finding out new powers that their Lions have (Blue’s ice power and water-agility; Yellow’s huge claws and superior  strength and armor; Green’s new weapon that makes roots grow out of the Olkari cubes; Black’s wings), and Keith finding out more about his past, his heritage, and what the knife he’s had all his life actually means. 
There’s so much information to take in from both seasons, but please do not let this cloud the fact that there is still so much more to come – considering that Voltron has been approved 8 seasons total, it is BEYOND likely that each character is going to have their time to shine.
All we have to do is be patient and trust the writers will do their job, which is telling the story of Voltron, its paladins, and the stories of the legacy they are leaving behind. They are not intentionally leaving other characters in the dust to focus on their favorites. These things take time, and as Tyler said, there are things in the works behind the scenes that we don’t know about, and that we won’t know about until the subsequent seasons are released.
TL;DR: There is not one or two designated main protagonists in VLD. The show has five characters and their story lines, character developments, and personal arcs are going to be rotating throughout the episodes and seasons that are going to be coming out. Writing, producing, animating, and voicing a show takes time, and it is unrealistic to believe that we can have all five characters have their important time in the limelight simultaneously. Please let the writers do their job. Give them the benefit of the doubt, let the seasons play out, and stop assuming the worst of them as if they are intentionally sidelining certain characters when they aren’t. Give it time.
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rakhall · 7 years ago
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I got tagged, and I’ll do this kind of post for first and last time...
Tagged by @cid331 AND @heavybond56 and by a lot of anon mails, but those don’t count, please stop.
RULES : answer the questions and tag 20 amazing followers you’d like to get to know better!
⭐⭐⭐
NAME: Yeah... You probably couldn’t pronounce it correctly and I don’t want you to cause permanent damage in your tongue.
NICKNAMES: Call me whatever you want, until it’s not rude or disrespectful.
ZODIAC SIGN: Which zodiac are you talking about? The Chinese Zodiac, oooor...
HEIGHT :   6ft 2.409449i.... What? What did you expect from me? A round number?
ORIENTATION: Heterosexual
ETHNICITY: Ethnicity matters less and less in the 21st century because tradition and culture are constantly and drastically changing and transforming, in smaller countries as well as among ethnic minorities in every country they live in. And I’m not only talking about cultural assimilation but also about the fact that more and more places in Europe and Asia start to adopt American habits and cultural elements. This process is due to the consumer society and multiculturalism, but the internet is playing a big role in it too. Just to mention an example: In some Middle European countries, people celebrated the so-called “All Souls' Day”/”All Saints’day”/”Day of The Dead” -sorry, I couldn’t find a proper translation- but nowadays, even in these countries Halloween costumes and Halloween pumpkins became m ore and more common, in stores. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, neither that it’s something good. But one thing is for sure, in the future as well as in the present, the only barriers of complete cultural amalgamation will be religion, language, and nationalism. So after this, let me ask you the question. What matters more the ethnicity you are born into, or the ethnicity you feel comfortable with?
FAVORITE FRUIT: Depends on... If I want to eat it, then pear, If I want to write a fanfiction, then lemon...
FAVORITE SEASON: Winter. I can’t take the sunlight. It doesn’t matter if there’s 313.15K (yes, I used kelvin because I’m an a**hole so your brain gets a little extra exercise while you google the celsius-kelvin calculator,) until I can stay any place where I can avoid sunlight.
FAVOR BOOK: Too many to choose from, so I’ll just go with the one that made the biggest impact on me: “The Tragedy of Man” Synopsis: The main characters are Adam, Eve and Lucifer. As God creates the universe, Lucifer decries it as futile, stating that man will soon aspire to be god and demanding his own right of the world, because God was forced to create with him, "the ancient spirit of denial". God casts him out of Heaven, but grants his wish: the two cursed trees in Eden, the Tree of Knowledge and the Tree of Immortality. Playing on Eve's vanity and Adam's pride, Lucifer tempts both into sin. After the Fall and expulsion from Eden, Adam is still too proud to admit that he acted wrongly. Instead, he recounts his dreams of human progress and achievement; he feels that now, unencumbered by God's rules, he is ready to pursue his own glory. Lucifer puts Adam to sleep, and the two begin to travel through history. There is a link you can read it online legally for free if you are interested.
FAVORITE FLOWER: I don’t like flowers, but I do happen to know, that in the language of flowers walnut blossom means stupidity, and nettle means in rough translation “Get the heck away from me you freak me out!!!”
FAVORITE SCENT: If I write something edgy and dark-overlord-like as “the smell of death, and rotting flesh” no one’s gonna take me serious ever again and everyone unfollows me, BUT if I will say “the smell of fried chicken legs” I’ll be called swallow, and 90% of the vegans are gonna attack me for it. 
FAVORITE ANIMAL: Axolotl. When that lil’ dingaling -sorry but I already swore too much in this post so I won’t do it again, unless it’s a quotation- somehow is washed ashore, instead of drowning it simply goes with an “All right f*ck you from now on, I’m gonna breathe air! Mother nature is my b*tch, b*tch!”
COFFEE, TEA, OR HOT COCOA: No.
CAT OR DOG PERSON: No.
FAVORITE FICTIONAL CHARACTER: Actually I have a lot, so I can’t simply go with one, sorry.
DREAM TRIP: Any place that’s far away from Goldshire Inn.
BLOG CREATED:  I don’t understand... So I’ll just divide this question into two parts: 1) “What kind of blog did you create” To answer this question: It is a fan-drawing blog (I used this word combination instead of “fan art” because I don’t consider my drawings as “art”. 2) “What’s the purpose of the blog/why was it created” Originally it was created so I could share the jokes I made up in my comics with more people, not just with the ones on Deviantart. Later on, the purpose changed when I got into STVFOE, and it became my main drawing site, (while Deviantart became secondary,) where I shared my exaggerated parody comics or my “what-if” ideas about the show. Right now my goal is to turn this blog into a fammiliar place where my followers like to be, and also turn it into a friendly community.
NUMBER OF FOLLOWERS: To avoid hate, I’ll skip this question.
WHAT DO I POST: My drawings, and thoughts... I don’t really reblog, because it would make harder to navigate for those who aren’t tumblr users, just bystanders who found my blog.
DO I GET ASKS ON A REGULAR BASIS: Yes I do, and sorry for not answering all of them, I read them all guys, but I don’t want to spoil, the future comics, neither confuse the readers. If I can answer privately, it makes my job easier though. I only have the “anonymous” option, because this way everyone can write to me not just tumblr users...
AESTHETIC: Noun: a set of principles underlying and guiding the work of a particular artist or artistic movement. alternative meaning: a set of principles concerned with the nature and appreciation of beauty, especially in art. Adjective: concerned with beauty or the appreciation of beauty.
FAVORITE BAND: Don’t have favorites, I listen to what I like, it doesn’t matter which band plays it. If the whole band has only one single track I like, then I listen to that one, and nothing else from them.
FICTIONAL CHARACTER I’D DATE: again, depends on, what my goal is. If I want everyone to hate me then I’d choose a typical “Everyone’sWaifu” like Heka-the-best-girl-poo, if I would want to spend a good time with someone I would have common topic with, then someone smart and kind enough not to turn all of our conversations into something swallow, or to give smart, but mean/offensively sarcastic answers. The problem is, most of these characters have already someone.
(if they don’t, they are underage, lol)
HOGWARTS HOUSE: Why always Harry Potter? I mean I don’t have anything against it, but why is the extra question always Harry Potter? Why never “Horde or Alliance” or “Favorite Digimon” or  “Demon or Angel” or anything...
I don’t tag 20 people because I don’t make difference between my followers... consider yourselves all tagged. Or none of you, whichever you want.
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kidsviral-blog · 7 years ago
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The Strange, Isolated Life Of A Tuberculosis Patient In The 21st Century
New Post has been published on https://kidsviral.info/the-strange-isolated-life-of-a-tuberculosis-patient-in-the-21st-century/
The Strange, Isolated Life Of A Tuberculosis Patient In The 21st Century
While volunteering for the Peace Corps in Ukraine in 2010, I contracted a severe version of drug-resistant tuberculosis. Two years of painful, isolating treatment taught me the vital role social media may play in finally eradicating this disease.
One of the loneliest nights of my life was when I masturbated for an Australian stranger on the only webcam chat site that would load on the shitty hospital Wi-Fi. He didn’t want to show his face on camera, and I didn’t care whether it was because he was famous, married, or ugly. The internet was so slow that the sound stalled, so the dirty talk had to be typed.
It was a terse, space-economizing raunch, pounded out letter by letter with his left index finger, since his dominant hand was busy. I WANT TO VERB YOUR NOUN. But the artlessness was a relief. The more work it took to type, the less likely he’d waste time asking about my hospital bed and IV rack. If I didn’t mind him being headless and talking like a filthy grown-up “see spot run,” couldn’t he handle a naked stranger in a tuberculosis sanatorium?
Nor did he mention the armband, which hid the nozzle nurses screwed to dripping sacks of drugs during infusions. Three times a week, amikacin seeped down the skinny 2-foot-long tube inside and up my arm, leading behind my collarbone to splash into a big fat artery over my heart.
Just please don’t fucking ask, I thought. It was exhausting to explain. Screw this guy. Wouldn’t it be weirder if he had inferred a medical emergency, but resolved not to let it ruin his hard-on? Do virtual strangers without heads even have cognition? What the hell was wrong with this guy’s face, anyway?
Who cares? I had been in that room in Denver for almost a month. I was days away from lung surgery to remove my upper right lobe, where the bulk of the disease was headquartered. This was the last goddamned time I’d ever get to show my tits to a stranger without any scars. And it was the skinniest I’d ever been.
I had contracted extensively drug-resistant tuberculosis, or XDR-TB (a severe version of multidrug-resistant, or MDR tuberculosis), while serving as a Peace Corps volunteer in Ukraine. The National Jewish Health Center is no longer a sanatorium, but it is still one of the country’s top TB research facilities, staffed by worldwide mycobacteria experts and equipped with properly ventilated rooms for the infrequent consumptives who turn up there.
When I was admitted to the hospital, the state of Colorado dispatched a guy to my hospital room to read me my legal quarantine order. I’d be in isolation for however long I was contagious.
During my stay, I started a two-year course of harsh antibiotics, including an IV drip. I had two surgeries, which flanked a blood transfusion and peskily recollapsing lung. I lost 12 pounds and half my blood, which have been replaced, and the upper lobe of my right lung, which hasn’t. I wish I could be more inspiring. But I didn’t use that time to write a novel, learn yoga, or even plow through a beach read. Falling into a trance and getting off strangers was all I felt capable of.
Objectifying? Sure. So is being sick.
Such isolation — both physical and emotional — takes a serious toll on TB patients. From the 18th century glory days up to the modern rise of MDR, tuberculosis went from being a relatively universal human experience to being a profoundly lonely one. Isolation and stigma make long treatments even harder to endure and inhibit public consciousness that could lead to more meaningful progress. But we may be approaching a new historical moment: Social media makes it easier than ever for patients to find and support one another. These connections can improve patient morale and treatment outcomes and ultimately raise the profile of MDR-TB in global health policy.
Because I was never as alone as I thought: Five thousand miles away in Siberia, a woman my age named Ksenia Shchenina was also suffering. So are patients in dozens of other countries, and more and more of them are beginning to use the internet to combat the solitude that has long not only defined the disease and its treatment, but kept it from being eradicated for good.
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Most people don’t spend much time thinking about tuberculosis. If pressed, they might make a few basic generalizations. It was a very serious disease in the olden days. It killed your great-great-grandfather, all of the Brontës, and Nicole Kidman’s character in Moulin Rouge. But then it was cured. It doesn’t exist anymore. So we’ll all just have to get Ewan McGregor’s attention some other way and die of something else.
Tuberculosis has been on the scene since ancient times, but it only reached menace status in filthy, urbanizing mid-17th century Europe. It went on to dominate the continent’s “cause of death” list for over two centuries. This makes sense, if you know how germs work. Poverty and bad sanitation — e.g., the Industrial Revolution’s toxic work conditions and shantytowns — made toppling immune systems a cinch. Before germ theory caught on, some people even saw TB as a sort of moral retribution for the sins of modernity.
Even the disease’s classic name — consumption — implied a physical and spiritual connection. It consumed you; it devoured you from within. Before the scientific consensus on how an infectious disease was transmitted, many people assumed a person could be predisposed to consumption. (They caught on to genetics before they unraveled epidemiology.) An entire family of consumptives probably meant they were ill because they had all inherited the proper preconditions for the illness — not because they lived together and coughed fatal microbes into one another’s food. Similarly, researchers couldn’t help but notice that consumption disproportionately seized writers and artists, whose lifestyle was practically synonymous with urban poverty. But when it was still assumed that the disease grew from within, many scientists searched for a link between consumption and genius. This is the kind of factoid that makes you feel smug when modern doctors are really, really surprised that you got this.
The jig was up in 1882. A German bacteriologist named Robert Koch zeroed in on the Mycobacterium tuberculosis, the bacterial cause of consumption. It spread from person to person by air.
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Robert Koch Ann Ronan Pictures / Getty Images
Koch’s early attempts to develop a vaccine failed, but his efforts did yield a valuable diagnostic tool: the tuberculin skin test. It’s a shot that scans for TB antibodies. If you’ve been exposed to the disease, the injection site on your forearm will flare up into a BRIGHT RED SKIN MOUNTAIN. The test is still part of routine checkups today among grade-schoolers, teachers, cops, and — as I would learn — Peace Corps volunteers.
There is a photo of me on Facebook from early 2010, lodged between a handful of party shots with fellow volunteers. We had traveled to Kiev from across Ukraine to make a weekend out of our mid-service medical checkups. I’m 23, hamming it up in melodramatic distress, and twisting my left elbow up over my head to show off the swollen red splotch on my forearm.
A positive skin test usually doesn’t mean you have TB — less than than 10% of people with positive skin tests ever develop an active case, because healthy immune systems can usually defeat the bacterial intruder. Several volunteers each year end up with the telltale red blotch; it was really nothing to worry about. We’d need a follow-up X-ray, but an active case was highly unlikely. So I cracked a few jokes and went back to pounding flat Chernigivske beers with my friends.
I had been in Ukraine since September 2008, after studying Russian in college. I volunteered at a school in an eastern mining town called Antratsyt. The town borrows its name from anthracite coal. The region is flat, but you can see hills in the distance — they’re “slag heaps,” or piles of debris extracted from mines. The town only runs water for a few hours a day to protect the mines from mudslides or collapse. But life wasn’t as bleak as it sounds. I had students who were so excited to practice their English that they would chat with me after school, perched in a row on the edge of a Soviet-era fountain long-since bone-dry. I struck up friendships with their parents and my fellow teachers. I toasted my colleagues over champagne and chocolate on Ukrainian holidays. One time, I even gave a thickly accented speech on international education at a school assembly that ended up on the TV news. I was happy.
My follow-up X-ray was two weeks later, in Kiev. Taking yet another 17-hour train trip felt like an epic hassle. Is there a word that means the opposite of hypochondriac? There should be, because that’s what I am. In hindsight, of course I had symptoms – I just wrote them off to other things. I had a bad cough, because I was a smoker at the time. I’d lost weight, because there was no American junk food to lose my will power around. I was run-down and sluggish, because it was the Ukrainian winter!
I got a ride with Dr. Sasha, one of the Peace Corps’ Ukrainian staffers, to my screening at a tuberculosis dispensary — tubdispensar — on the edge of the city. He spoke the sort of English that made me self-conscious about my Russian. He carried my Peace Corps medical history file on his lap. The most dramatic thing in it was an allergy to mangoes. (Not exactly a significant handicap in Ukraine.)
I was X-rayed in a machine that looked like an iron colossus. In the waiting room, I tried to distract myself with a biography of John Adams. (His son, John Quincy, spent years in the Russian Empire as Ambassador and managed to stay consumption-free.) Soviet-era medical facilities are much more dimly lit than their Walmart-bright American counterparts. To see the page, I had to squint.
The head TB doctor finally called me into the office. He explained the X-ray results and prognosis to Dr. Sasha, who relayed them in English to me. But when Dr. Sasha asked a follow-up question, they flipped back to Russian and cut me out of the triangle. My Russian was good – but not “unfamiliar medical jargon” good. But this wasn’t a conversation I could stand to be excluded from. I was on the brink of a tantrum.
“Goddamn it!” I wanted to shriek at the TB doc. “Don’t say it in his Russian. Say it in mine.”
My face must have looked like a cartoon teakettle. So he slowed down and turned toward the image pinned to the light board.
“Classic pulmonary TB,” he said to me. (Words like pulmonary and tuberculosis are cognates.) “It’s strange that it advanced so quickly. Especially for a healthy young girl.”
“Are you sure?” I asked. “I heard you guys muttering about bronchitis or pneumonia before. Could it be one of those?”
“No. We assumed it could have been at first, but this is a clear case. See, on an X-ray, healthy lungs should look solid black. See the contrast down by the lower ribs? But now look up on the right. See the [blahblahblah]? The [blahblahblah] is the tuberculosis.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t get that word. What part is the tuberculosis?”
He sighed. It would have been easier to let Dr. Sasha translate. Now he had to dumb down his lexicon for a rattled American.
“Up there. Upper right. Well, left on here. That white spot? The part that looks like a ghost.”
That night, I started treatment in a studio apartment the Peace Corps rented for me in Kiev. My prognosis was good. For two weeks, I took pills, got X-rayed, and hocked up sputum — a polite word for loogies — into sterile plastic cups for lab work. One set stayed in Ukraine; the other was shipped according to special biohazard protocol to an American facility to better coordinate my care at home.
Eight weeks later, just as life was settling down back in Chicago, I was surprised to find an ominous number of missed calls on my phone: from the diagnostic lab, my mom, my American pulmonologist, my mom, the Cook County Department of Public Health, my mom, my mom, the Cook County Department of Public Health Epidemiology Unit, my mom, my mom, my mom, my mom, my mom.
Those loogies had yielded bad news. I had XDR-TB. The bad kind.
Effective immediately, I was placed under an isolation order. I was told to stay home whenever possible — I could go outside sparingly, but any other indoor space was off-limits until I was noninfectious. A few months, at least. The police could get involved if I didn’t comply.
A month into my quarantine, my Chicago doctors were stumped. They’d rarely seen anything like this.
So I set off on a journey not unlike those taken by consumptives a century before. I left my bustling, industrial Midwestern city and headed west, to the National Jewish Health Center in Denver.
It was the National Jewish Hospital for Consumptives back then. In 1899, the brand-new philanthropic institution was brimming with needy patients. In 2010, I was the only one.
I told almost no one where I was going. I had already been avoiding friends who tried to contact me. It is exhausting to have your life flipped around by something people know nothing about. You get so damn sick of telling the story. Weird caveats demand exposition. Here is what I have. Here is why it’s bad. Here is why I had to evacuate Ukraine and leave the Peace Corps early. Here is why I can’t be in public or see anyone for the foreseeable future. Here is why I am going to some hospital in Denver for a long time. Here is why they chopped off a big chunk of my lung. Here is why I have this IV armband thing for nine months. Here is why I puke a lot. Here is why food tastes all wrong. Here is why my hearing got warped. Here is why I can’t feel my toes. Here is why I am not supposed to drink any alcohol. Here is why I’m still going to anyway.
Since I was on the no-fly list, we drove the 15 hours by car. I wore a mask the whole time so I wouldn’t infect my parents.
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National Jewish Hospital for Consumptives c. 1920
Basic infection control, like isolating the sick and using protective gear to lower transmission risk, may seem primitive compared with modern medicine. But the truth is, public health measures like quarantine and mouth covering did more to eradicate tuberculosis than drugs did. We never did figure out a great way to cure TB; we just got better at preventing it. That is, until it caught up with us.
After Dr. Koch’s splashy 1882 debut of the Mycobacterium tuberculosis, the medical community was certain a surefire solution was close behind. But they were disappointed. No cure came.
Forty years later, a new vaccine — Bacillus Calmette-Guerin, or BCG — entered human testing. But BCG was never that good. Most researchers believe that adults are just as likely to wind up with TB whether they get BCG or not. It also suffered a major PR setback as the center of one of the worst vaccination disasters in history. In 1930, 73 babies died of tuberculosis meningitis after being injected with BCG in Lubeck, Germany. The vaccines had been contaminated after getting mixed up with a virulent live TB strain back at the lab. (Life hack: Always be sure your doctor has a label maker.)
It wasn’t until 1943 that a team at Rutgers University pinpointed streptomycin, the world’s first antibiotic effective against tuberculosis. TB’s staggering cultural legacy made the discovery a shoo-in for the Nobel Prize, but streptomycin was nonetheless terribly flawed. It was toxic, and patients quickly developed antibodies that resisted the drug. The only solution was to scrape around for more options and blitzkrieg every case of TB with several so-so drugs at once. The first-line regimen has hardly been tweaked in nearly 50 years. It was never a secret that such a long and tedious course of antibiotics would, like a Shakespearean hero, engineer its own demise.
But that hardly seemed to matter. By the time streptomycin ‘n’ friends showed up, barely anyone even needed them. Throughout the 20th century, people gradually stopped getting TB in the first place. We got healthier, cleaner, and smarter. We could contain disease and catch it early. It nearly disappeared.
Then, in the early 1990s, it bounced back. Two global crises — the rise of HIV/AIDS and the fall of the Soviet Union — helped resurrect the scourge of the 19th century. The World Health Organization declared a worldwide TB emergency in 1993. (It just goes to show: Don’t count your eradicated diseases before they hatch.)
AIDS was even harder on human bodies than the Industrial Revolution had been, and millions of centuries-won immune systems were suddenly wide open to infection anew. TB remains the leading cause of death among AIDS patients.
The collapse of the USSR spread TB in even more complicated ways. The year 1991 saw the traumatic birth of 15 brand-new post-Soviet republics. Each of these new countries was in economic and social turmoil. They were broke. They had no central government or public health system. Before their independence, everything had more or less filtered through Moscow. In some places, there were few to no supplies or institutional infrastructure, let alone money for health care workers. Alcoholism and malnourishment soared. People lost their savings. Rampant crime stuffed the prisons — notorious hotbeds of TB — to well over capacity. Released inmates carted these germs back to their communities. By the time the 15 new countries had smoothed things out, they already had a new old epidemic to battle.
Even as the immediate post-Soviet crisis improved, other factors played into treatment interruption and new infections. These have been beautifully documented by experts like Dr. Lee Reichman in his 2001 book Timebomb and are easily rattled off by every post-Soviet MDR expert I’ve come across. Treatment in prisons has been badly underfunded, so for years people didn’t get the meds they needed. There is often subpar follow-up for ill prisoners after they’re released. Infected migratory workers are tough to treat and track. The Soviet-era mentality of medical specialization has made the region slow to coordinate HIV and TB care. Both illnesses are also correlated with substance abuse, and addicts often turn out to be less-than-diligent patients. In sum, the long, hard treatment places economic, social, and physical strain on patients.
Antibiotic treatment is an all-or-nothing game. Patients need to take every dose by the book, or germs acquire resistance. Getting it done right depends on stupendous public health programs, not to mention stupendous patients. Once a strain does acquire resistance, it can’t be undone — and the stronger, harder-to-treat germ is passed on to others, like me. If the best drugs don’t work, doctors are forced to use drugs that are even harder on the body. All of these factors collude to paint a grim reality. In former Soviet countries, only around 60% of patients who begin tuberculosis treatment ever successfully finish it. The rest of them flee, slip through the cracks, fail to respond to treatment, or die before they are cured.
So it is no surprise that the region has the highest rates of MDR-TB in the world — as many as 30% of all newly detected cases are impervious to first-line drugs. (The global average is reportedly less than 5%, but statistics are widely believed to be low, especially in resource-poor countries. In the U.S., there were fewer than 100 cases of MDR in 2013.) Even in optimal conditions, the difference between a case of run-of-the-mill TB and MDR can be the difference between a moderate inconvenience and a life-threatening catastrophe. A standard case can be cured for less than $100 with a daily dose of four different drugs for six to nine months. My treatment cost taxpayers seven figures and lasted well over two years.
On paper, many of these problems have already been fixed. A decade ago, Tracy Kidder’s best-seller Mountains Beyond Mountains lauded the achievements of Dr. Paul Farmer’s Partners in Health and other global health organizations in revolutionizing worldwide MDR-TB care. The region’s TB programs are now relatively well-organized and padded with funding from global health mammoths like the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. There are detailed and standardized treatment guidelines. TB drugs are fully subsidized. So why are so many patients still failing their treatments?
Without an effective vaccine or better drugs, efforts to curb MDR-TB face a serious paradox. As a strain becomes more resistant, it becomes simultaneously more painful and more urgent to treat it. Many countries have responded by adopting stringent patient monitoring policies, which improve cure rates but are nonetheless no small imposition in patients’ lives. Public safety overrides patient agency, which is a tough pill for victims to swallow (and they’ve already got plenty of those to worry about).
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A patient receives the TB vaccine in 1949 Cornell Capa / The LIFE Picture Collection / Getty Images
During my treatment, I felt sick for two years. Nausea became my baseline. Sometimes the drugs make you puke, or give you the kind of diarrhea that makes you need a nap. One screws with your nervous system, and I permanently lost most of the feeling in my feet. I’ve tracked blood across kitchen floors because I can’t tell if I’ve stepped on shattered glass.
And I had it lucky. I had no comorbidities like HIV or diabetes, which make everything even worse. Being on amikacin cost me some low-frequency hearing, but it has caused deafness in others. And I got to take it by IV drip, instead of the painful upper-thigh injections that leave some patients too sore to sit up. And while cycloserine — a drug nicknamed “psychoserine” for its notorious mental and behavioral effects — makes some patients hallucinate and scream, I got away with confusion. I had trouble with reading, organization, and paperwork. It’s an especially tough break if you’re dealing with a workers’ comp claim for a medical disaster. I couldn’t keep it all straight, and walloped my credit.
Even worse, most patients in former Soviet countries and across the world get practically no social support during the crisis. They get little help with side effects, and suffer serious social and economic strain. Many of them have no way to make up for lost wages over the course of their treatments. Some even face lasting discrimination. In 2011, an undercover Ukrainian journalist wrote an exposé about being iced out by hiring managers after casually mentioning a past bout of TB.
The reason why boils down to one key factor: Tuberculosis remains highly stigmatized throughout the world. In the former Soviet Union, people associate it with painful memories of the lawless, chaotic ‘90s. Having it means you’re a crook, a junkie, a drunk, a bum, or a sewer rat.
Stigma makes epidemics worse — it gives people a reason not to be seen walking into a clearly labeled TB clinic to see a doctor when they should. Loneliness and despair can convince someone that health doesn’t matter, so why take these pills? And stigma shuts people up, so they’ll never organize, influence funding, or change minds about TB. Stigma means more stigma.
When patients are silenced and isolated from one another and their communities, it stymies progress against the disease. The WHO estimates more than a $1.3 billion worldwide funding gap in TB research and development, and the number threatens to grow. Even though investment in new drug research is one obvious way to improve treatment, AstraZeneca, Novartis, and Pfizer recently pulled a combined $50 million out of the fight. According to an email from the Treatment Action Group, a TB and HIV advocacy nonprofit, this steep loss amounts to a full third of private-sector TB investment since 2011.
Erasing stigma, combating TB’s chronic underfunding, and promoting new research and drug development are incredibly lofty goals. But similar barriers have been conquered before in diseases like breast cancer and HIV/AIDS, where passionate activism made incredible inroads in raising awareness and influencing policy. If former and current TB patients joined together, could they build the first real advocacy movement centered on patients?
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llustration by Ashley Mackenzie for BuzzFeed
Tuberculosis patients haven’t always felt so alone.
After leaving Denver, I read The Magic Mountain, Thomas Mann’s sprawling 1924 classic novel about a Swiss sanatorium. I forced myself to finish it, but it’s the most boring book I’ve ever read. It’s the story of a total wiener named Hans Castorp who goes on a trip to hang out in the Alps and visit his TB-stricken cousin. Then Hans ends up sticking around and living there for seven years even though he doesn’t really have tuberculosis, just so he can do stupid crap like spend 70 pages talking about the nature of consciousness.
Ugh, I’m still so mad at him. But maybe it’s because I’m a tiny bit jealous. So what if he’s a fake person with fake tuberculosis? It would have been so nice to have someone to be sick with.
Sanatoriums, like National Jewish and the one atop The Magic Mountain, bridged the gap between the mid-19th century and the 1940s discovery of streptomycin. With no cure in sight, the ill had long made do with an iffy array of treatment options. Some doctors stuffed people’s windpipes with vacuum contraptions to simulate lazy lung capillaries. Cottage industries of miracle cures gorged on ad space in periodicals, sandwiched among serial installments of now beloved classics. (If you liked Great Expectations, you’ll love Daffy & Son’s Natural Miracle Multi-Purpose Health Elixir! Available wherever fancy wool top hats and snuff boxes are sold!!!) But the White Plague seemed to beat them all.
Tuberculosis did have one semi-formidable opponent, though — one hope that physicians agreed on. It wasn’t a cure; it wasn’t a given. The idea came from an 1840 pamphlet written by Dr. George Bodington, a British family doctor who covered a large area by making his house calls on horseback. His essay was based on a simple observation: that consumptives in wide-open spaces fared better than those packed tightly in cities.
But Dr. Bodington drew a further conclusion: It must have been the country air that healed them. Their bodies need pure, unsoiled air, shared with as few people as possible. Depending on the severity of their case, they might need months or years of it. In the disease’s final stages, Mycobacterium tuberculosis finally chews through the lung tissue, resulting in the bloody cough that famously beckoned death (but, curiously, couldn’t stop the heroines of Les Misérables, La Bohème, and La Traviata from singing). If combated early with the right dose of air, the process could drag to a halt.
And where could patients find such magic air? The best stuff was nippy, clean, and thin. Way up high, where no one can spoil it with industrial factory smog. And so, for the next 100 years, sick city-dwellers left their crowded hubs by the thousands and set off for specialized tuberculosis hospitals in the mountains. These sanatoriums treated patients with Dr. Bodington’s “rest cure” — medical observation, a generous binge diet, and hours a day in rows of canopied outdoor beds. In The Magic Mountain, characters traveled to Switzerland from places like England, Italy, and Poland. For months or years at a time, consumptives at sanatoriums lived and breathed together far away from real life, in their own little communities up in the sky.
Denver — the Mile High City, full of its own magic mountains — thus became America’s magnet for the dying who wanted to live. In the late 19th century, nearly a third of Colorado’s population suffered from tuberculosis, after journeying west for the air that might save them. At the National Jewish Hospital for Consumptives, they slept two by two, tucked into each of its dozens of bunk beds.
By the time I showed up, the bunk beds were long gone. There were no pretty canopies or breezy napping patios. And all that oh-so-edifying “virgin air” stuff? Turned out to be bunk. The bump in survival rates among patients who spent all that time outdoors wasn’t because of the air; it was the sun. Vitamin D is good for the immune system. They could have gotten the same effect on the roof of a tenement house. Or by taking sunshine stuffed into Vitamin D pills, like I did, supplemented by the UV light in my hospital room. (In a 21st century American city, you don’t just let a case of active tuberculosis run around outside.) Other times, patients’ health improved simply because sanatoriums gave them a badly needed break from lives of poverty and labor.
Still, the sanatorium era continues to be considered a public health success. Not because sanatoriums ever did much to help “lungers.” But because they kept them away from healthy people. By shooing contagious patients off to remote treatment complexes, Dr. Bodington had inadvertently pioneered the concept of infection control. Keeping sick people away from vulnerable populations seems so obvious now. But back then, would the idea of germs — invisible, flying disease pods — have sounded any less silly than magic air?
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Tuberculosis treatment in 1942 D. Hess / Fox Photos / Getty Images
I tried seeing a therapist after my quarantine order was finally lifted. My mom made the appointment. I didn’t really want to go; I’ve never liked therapy.
But I hated doing this to my mom. This wasn’t just my crisis; it was my family’s too. And it was harder on my mom than anyone. She’d just spent 10 days next to me on a cot in the Denver ICU after my first lung surgery went wrong. She’d held my hand when the stiff chest tube draining blood from my lungs made breathing hurt so badly I got tunnel vision. She’d lost so much weight and was thinner than I’d ever seen her. So when she kept insisting that I talk to someone, I figured I could force myself to muster an hour of sincerity. And if I didn’t like it, I could lie, quit, and just find my own answers in some book.
I got to the office and we made our introductions. Then I broke the ice.
“Has anyone ever told you that you look like Laura Linney?” I asked.
She paused. For too long.“No. I’ve actually never gotten that.”
“No. I’ve actually never gotten that.”
BULLSHIT. She looks exactly like Laura Linney.
“I spoke to your mother on the phone. She said you contracted tuberculosis while you were in the Peace Corps in Russia?”
“No, I was in Ukraine. But yes. I mean, it was the Far East. The Russian-speaking part.”
“And so you’re going through chemo now? How long is that?”
“Well, I was hospitalized in Denver and got the part of my lung removed with the TB on it last month. So now I’m on chemo. It’s the IV drip. None of the radiation stuff. And I never lost my hair. So I don’t know if it even counts. I have nine months of that, and a total of two years or so on everything else.”
OK, it’s not like I’m uniquely hyperaware of Laura Linney or something. There’s no way I could be the first person to notice.
“And then…it goes away?” she asked.
Wait, is she pissed? Why? It’s a compliment, right? Hold on. Does she just, like, hate Laura Linney?
“Knock on wood. It can come back, hypothetically,” I recited. “That’s why they treat it so aggressively. They just want to make sure that it’s really, really dead. But they can’t, like, promise you anything.”
I went back once or twice for additional sessions. I tried to explain that I wasn’t scared about dying or anything. By then, doctors seemed confident that I wouldn’t. But I had this anxiety I couldn’t shake. I wanted closure in Ukraine, and the people in my town. I wanted to be moving toward something. I tried to convert the emotional fallout into a momentum that more closely resembled psychosis. I took 36 practice LSATs but was hospitalized the day of the test. But panic was a problem I couldn’t obsess my way out of. I’d pick up a book but just hold it in my lap and forget what the hell it was for. I had no job and no idea what to do with myself. I lived with my parents, who at that moment seemed to be trying to keep me alive by never letting me out of their sight. I felt timid and stuck. I felt cheated out of that rosy immortality my friends had. All those toxic meds made me feel like someone else. I was very, very tired. And I felt like I was failing. I wanted my sense of control back. I was so damn sad.
My mom picked that therapist because she specializes in treating patients with life-interrupting illnesses, like MS or cancer.
“It can be hard for people to lose their control,” the therapist told me. “Here’s something I suggest that people can do to feel like they have some power over everything. Next time you go for an infusion, try to close your eyes and think of the chemicals in the drugs coursing through you, attacking all of the bad cells. And concentrate on them, and really see them. Then, envision the chemo forcing them out of your body. Picture them floating away.”
I skipped my next appointment and never rescheduled. It wasn’t a therapist that I wanted. I wanted to connect with other patients like me.
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llustration by Ashley Mackenzie for BuzzFeed
I’m not the only person to conclude that TB patients may be uniquely equipped to help each other. In 1907, a Boston-area internist named Dr. Joseph Pratt had the same idea while searching for innovative treatment alternatives for TB patients who couldn’t afford faraway sanatoriums. He had the hippy-dippy idea that bringing patients together could replicate the revitalizing effects of places like the National Jewish Hospital for Consumptives, and help patients heal. Couldn’t they guide each other through the experience better than any doctor could?
Pratt tested his hunch with a trial of a dozen patients. Modern medicine’s first recorded support group was deemed a success. Moral support really did help combat tuberculosis. His destitute patients had made do without the magic air that wasn’t really magic and replaced it with something that was.
That’s one thing the sanatorium era got right that today’s TB control programs get wrong: the need for community. Today, the sanatorium era is thought of as a relic of medical quackery rendered moot by modern science. But to mock it in favor of enlightened antibiotic cures is to dismiss the lived experience of patients. For all their problems, sanatoriums were designed to heal patients. Today, treatment is primarily concerned with limiting threats posed to others. Patients’ lives are collateral damage.
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I showed up at the radiology department of George Washington University Hospital in Washington, D.C., for my final chest X-ray in late spring of 2012. I stood in the yellow foot outlines and assumed the TSA body scan position without even waiting for the technician’s spiel.
“Oh, you’re an old pro, then!” he said from the processing room. “OK, deep breath and hold it… Good… Now let’s just make sure that… Whoa, you’re missing a big part of your lung! Sorry, wasn’t expecting that!” That makes two of us.
But the Mycobacterium tuberculosis had indeed been destroyed. What was left of my lungs showed up as solid black — just as a healthy X-ray is supposed to be.
But somehow, it wasn’t as satisfying as I’d hoped. Once again, I wanted to share the moment with someone who understood what it meant. Moral support is nice for the good stuff too.
I began to find out how many patients felt the same way in June 2013, when I finally went back to Ukraine. I made a ring around the country to gather data for my master’s thesis: I traveled to Kiev, Lviv, Crimea, Mariupol, Kharkhiv, Lugansk, Donetsk, and my beloved Antratsyt. I visited hospitals, clinics, and met doctors, health care and nonprofit workers, and, of course, patients. No matter who they were, tuberculosis had a profound impact on their lives. Many had lost friends or even family members over their illness, or felt forced to keep the experience secret. Loneliness and shame were practically the default.
For as long as I’d spent surviving and learning about tuberculosis, one big question stuck in the back of my mind. I posed it to Oksana Viktorovna, a training coordinator for the Stop TB in Ukraine initiative in Donetsk. Why, I asked her, is there so little communication and coordination within the TB patient community, and so much of it — working successfully, by the way — in other diseases?
“You’re right,” she told me. “People are ashamed to be associated with the fringe. And even though TB is curable, the stigma makes them think it would be better to have cancer.” And perhaps, she continued, people who survive TB are ready to forget it and move on.
But, this might be changing, Oksana said. Lately, she’d noticed a few groups pop up online, on Russian networking sites like LiveJournal and VKontakte. Some people even created entirely new accounts to be able to discuss their lives with tuberculosis anonymously. “They write about their experience, their worries, their questions,” Oksana told me. “It seems to increase their optimism. I think it helps them get better.”
The clandestine online TB clubs were easy to find. As soon as I started poking through them, I found someone my age from Khabarovsk, Russia, whom I felt like I already knew.
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The Kyiv Tubdispensar or Tuberculosis Dispensary Photograph by Natalie Shure
I finally met Ksenia Shchenina face-to-face in Moscow this past spring. Even in the tourist-thick crowd by the famous Tretyakov Gallery, she wasn’t hard to spot. By now we’d already spent hours of our lives talking on Skype.
Ksenia maintains a patient-centered website about TB, as well as pages in English and Russian across several social media platforms. Her project’s slogan, “Being ill isn’t shameful,” challenges the negative cultural narratives about TB and the people who have it. Visitors can read the blog she kept during her treatment and her interviews with doctors and survivors. She regularly interacts with new patients from all over the world.
Social media has the potential to finally address the long-standing need for support among TB patients. Last month, Doctors Without Borders published a study that identified serious benefits for users of these online platforms, including TB & Me, the organization’s own blogging portal. Social media, they conclude, helps MDR patients adhere to treatment, gain back a sense of control, fight feelings of despair and solitude, and educate health care providers and the public. After treatment, survivors like Ksenia can continue to serve as mentors and advocates for the global patient community.
I strolled with Ksenia across the Bolshoy Moskvoretsky Bridge, along the edge of Red Square, and up the fabled Arbat Street. We drifted between languages and talked about being sick. I told her how badly I wished I knew people like her back when I was diagnosed.
“I can’t find the words in English to explain how much I agree with you,” she said.
I’m not sure I could have, either. But then, it hit me: “I’ve spent years researching tuberculosis. I’ve toured hospitals, read books and articles, conducted dozens of interviews. But this is the first time I’ve ever told my story to another patient.”
How magical to find her in a world with 5,000 miles, two screens, and three healthy lungs between us.
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llustration by Ashley Mackenzie for BuzzFeed
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dogmapod · 5 years ago
Audio
01 Falun Gong
Hey everyone, welcome to the show Dogma: A Podcast About Cults, I’m your host Denis Ricardo.
This show is about cults. The origins, practices and abuses of cults. So, if you are uncomfortable with descriptions of sexual, physical and mental violence and abuse, this is not the show for you.
I’m gonna try to keep it light and fun, but this stuff can get kind of dark… so you’ve been warned.
Today we’re gonna look into a cult by the name of Falun Gong. It’s one that not a lot of people have heard of, but are surprisingly very familiar with.
It’s a fairly young cult, not more than 27 years old. It began in 1992 in the northeast of China and was founded by a guy by the name of Li Hongzhi. I’m going to apologize on the pronunciation of some of these proper nouns, I am really bad at pronouncing the tones in Chinese languages.
The cult all began with Li Hongzhi running a public qigong seminar in the city of Changchun.
Qigong is an ancient Chinese practice of meditation and slow movement for the purpose of self-healing. It was and is still used in many Chinese communities as a form of alternative medicine.
The modern qigong movement started in the 1950s, shortly after the Cultural Revolution started by Mao Zedong.
Mao was a pretty hardline atheist, and believed that superstitious practices were not good for the advancement of China and communism. So, soldiers in Mao’s army adapted qigong to just be about meditation and focus, taking out all the of the spiritual elements of it. The practice was pretty popular and remains very common to this day.
Li felt a little differently about qigong, though. He feels as though the spiritual elements should be restored. So, he did just that.
Falun Gong was actually in the Chinese Communist Party’s favor, and initially saw it as a good movement. But they quickly changed their mind after they thought the movement was getting a little too independent. The Chinese government is notorious for monitoring the religious practices in China. So, in 1999 the Chinese Communist Party branded Falun Gong as heretical and began a massive propaganda campaign against the group. It mostly focused on negative articles in state-run press, which Falun Gong was quick to protest.
In April of 1999 10,000 Falun Gong protested outside a government compound in the capital Beijing demand that the government recognize them as a religious movement and stop persecuting them.
In China there are only 5 officially recognized religions because it is an atheist state. Those are Buddhism, Taoism, Catholicism, Protestantism and Islam.
Side note, just because I’m formerly Catholic,
China’s relationship with Catholicism kind of interesting, China does not recognize the power of the Holy See’s authority to appoint bishops. So Catholics in China aren’t “Roman” Catholic or “Orthodox” Catholics they’re “Chinese” Catholics. Their relationship is contentious, but China has granted the Pope the right to reject any of the Chinese appointed bishops.
But moving on… at this point, the leader of Falun Gong, Li, was already in New York at and he was getting the cult off the ground here in the US.
But things were pretty bad for Falun Gong practitioners in China.
Reports of forced re-education, extrajudicial executions, harvesting of organs and attacks by the Chinese police at the behest of the Communist Party against Falun Gong practitioners surfaced. But, it’s not the easiest to corroborate these claims, because neither Falun Gong or the CCP are necessarily the most upfront about their practices. The New York Times has said there has been at least 2000 deaths in 2009, though Falun Gong claims that number is nearly twice that. An independent investigator, Ethan Gutmann estimates there were at least 65,000 Falun Gong members killed for organs based off of interviews. Chinese authorities do not publish statistics of Falun Gong members killed or not killed.
OK, do some less depressing stuff, Falun Gong’s main practices.
Falun Gong is a blend of traditional Chinese beliefs, Taoism, Buddhism and Confucianism.
They have three central tenants of power Truthfulness (真, Zhēn)*, Compassion (善, Shàn)*, and Forbearance (忍, Rěn)*. Thank you, Google Translate. These are achieved through meditative exercise and performance.
*these words were reproduced with Google Translate pronouncing them
Falun Gong’s teachings say that everybody is innately good and divine, but that we have descended into darkness and accrued bad karma. Reincarnation is handled by different gods for different people and ultimately the goal is to be released from the cycle of samsara and to reach enlightenment.
This sounds pretty normal for an Asian religion like Buddhism. So far so good? [With hesitation in their voice] Yeah, it gets a little weirder.
Falun Gong emphasizes traditional Chinese teachings and disregards scientific claims like evolution. This also explains why they are vehemently against communism because it is not Chinese, it’s a European philosophy.
As I said before China is an atheist state, and typically Buddhists do not have an issue with evolution and Buddhism. I couldn’t find any numbers specifically citing the public acceptance of evolution in China, however. But I have found that it is taught in school like here in American coastal elite public schools without much of a hitch.
David Ownby, a professor at the Center of East Asian Studies at the University of Montreal interviewed the leader Li Hongzhi and said that Li claims there are 10,000 supernatural powers, such as clairvoyance, precognition, levitation and transmutation and these can be achieved by humans.
Li stated at a lecture in Australia that
“…homosexuality, organized crime and promiscuous sex are not the standards of being human.”
His stance on homosexuality lead to the rescinding of a Nobel Peace Prize nomination by San Franciscan legislators back in 2001.
Li and Falun Gong have also been criticized for their teaching of mixed-marriages. A New York Times article from 2001 states
“[Li] said interracial children are the spawn of the ‘Dharma Ending Period,' a Buddhist phrase that refers to an era of moral degeneration. […] he said each race has its own paradise, and he later told followers in Australia that, 'The yellow people, the white people, and the black people have corresponding races in heaven.’ As a result, he said, interracial children have no place in heaven without his intervention.”
Many practitioners of Falun Gong have denied this and have pointed out that many of its members are in mixed-race families.
But, let’s not forget the aliens.
So Li in general seems to be against most modern things. In a 1999 TIME Magazine interview in he said:
“The aliens have introduced modern machinery like computers and airplanes…everyone thinks that scientists invent on their own when in fact their inspiration is manipulated by the aliens. In terms of culture and spirit, they already control man…the ultimate purpose is to replace humans. If cloning human beings succeeds, the aliens can officially replace humans”
Li also thinks very highly of himself. The BBC, quote:
“…he is a being from a higher level who has come to help [mankind] from the destruction it could face as the result of rampant evil.”
Having a leader proclaim to know the way to save humanity is one of the signs that the leader’s group is a cult.
So, remember when I said that another one ways to get to their three central tenants was performance? Well, you know how they do it? By selling you $150 tickets to see the spectacle of 5000 years of traditional Chinese dance while listening to anti-atheist, anti-communist propaganda… it’s Shen Yun.
So apparently Shen Yun ads popping up everywhere is now a meme, but I’ve grown up in California all my life, and I swear I’ve been seeing these things since at least 2008. These things aren’t new to me. But I guess they’re finally getting to middle America, so people can joke about it.
I said before Falun Gong was anti-Communist and anti-evolution? Well, it shows up in the performance
Here’s a sample of lyrics from a song in the show called “Awaken”
"So long ago you came down to this world For millennia you have reincarnated here Fighting to get ahead, the true you has faded Self-interested actions have cost you your purity Atheism is a pack of lies The heresy of evolution now eclipses the Divine word Amidst disaster, people complain that the gods have forsaken us Do not use science to drive humanity toward danger You came to this world for salvation, your destiny To return to heaven is your soul's deepest wish You came to this world for salvation, your destiny To return to heaven is your destiny."
And, as I said before, the group is condemned by the Chinese government. The Chinese embassy made a post on their website, calling Falun Gong an anti-communist cult, that it undermines US-Chinese relations and that Shen Yun is a political tool for this cult and is anti-Chinese agitprop. This was all in English, and I find it a little weird they’d call it “agitprop” because that’s typically reserved for communist propaganda. So I found it a little strange.
But clearly this is also propaganda, it’s a statement by a government body, and all reports on its more outrageous beliefs are from western publications so there is a bias. But straight from the horse’s mouth is the anti-evolution message and we know that these performers don’t get paid.
In the end, it’s hard to classify this as a cult. It has cult-like elements, like surveillance by a government, a savior-leader. But it lacks a hierarchy and I could not find anyone who had left the movement and faced consequences for it, which are typically signs of a cult.
It’s got some very out-there, potentially dangerous beliefs, but is it a cult? [With hesitation in their voice) Personally, I’m gonna say yes, though I don’t think it necessarily ticks all those checkboxes, so maybe it can’t really be classified as a cult.
Now comes the fun part, where I get to beg you for money. I come to you hat in hand to maybe just consider throwing a dollar or two to my Patreon. I can’t offer much right now as far as donor rewards go, but I will try my best to give you access to episodes early and maybe some other fun side projects that I have available that are still loosely related to cults. That you so much if you decide to be ever so gracious.
Thanks so much for listening, that was the first episode. I will put all of my sources in the description. Most are from Wikipedia, but I checked to see if those sources were legit, so lay off me.
New time, we’re going to be focusing on a cult a little closer to home and maybe some of you remember this cult very vividly.
All right, take care and goodbye.
Citations:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Falun_Gong
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_Falun_Gong
http://www.atheistrepublic.com/forums/atheist-hub/shen-yun
https://culteducation.com/group/1254-falun-gong/6922-is-falun-gong-a-cult.html
https://www.jewishpolicycenter.org/2010/11/30/china-conundrum/
http://faluninfo.net/category/persecution/killings/individual-cases-of-falun-gong-deaths/
https://www.amnesty.org/en/countries/
https://books.google.com/books?id=Bwqkwx4SWS0C&printsec=frontcover&dq=ownby+falun&client=firefox-a&cd=1#v=onepage&q&f=false
Song Credits:
“Frozen Jungle” and “Dreaming of You” by Monplaisir under the name Komiku (http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Komiku/)
“我们是毛主席的红卫兵 (We Are Chairman Mao’s Red Guard)” found at Songs of China’s Cultural Revolution (http://academics.wellesley.edu/Polisci/wj/China/CRSongs/crsongs.htm)
“Dies Irae” found on Archive.org (https://archive.org/details/GregorianChantMass
“Ride to the Party” by Monplaisir under the name Anonymous420 (https://chezmonplaisir.bandcamp.com/album/this-is-not-you)
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