#gutwrenches

[stromblessed]

Mizu, femininity, and fallen sparrows

In my last post about Mizu and Akemi, I feel like I came across as overly critical of Mizu given that Mizu is a woman who - in her own words - has to live as a man in order to go down the path of revenge.

If she is ever discovered to be female by the wrong person, she will not only be unable to complete her quest, but there's a good chance that she'll be arrested or killed.

So it makes complete sense for Mizu to distance herself as much as possible from any behavior that she feels like would make someone question her sex.

I felt so indignant toward Mizu on my first couple watchthroughs for this moment. Why couldn't Mizu bribe the woman and her child's way into the city too? If Mizu is presenting as a man, couldn't she claim to be the woman's escort?

However, this moment makes things pretty clear. Mizu knows all too well the plight of women in her society. She knows it so well that she cannot risk ever finding herself back in their position again. She helps in what little way she can - without drawing attention to herself.

Mizu is not a hero and she is not one to make of herself a martyr - she will not set herself on fire to keep others warm. There's room to argue that Mizu shouldn't prioritize her quest over people's lives, but given the collateral damage Mizu can live with in almost every episode of season 1, Mizu is simply not operating under that kind of morality at this point. ("You don't know what I've done to reach you," Mizu tells Fowler.)

And while I still feel like Mizu has an obvious and established blind spot when it comes to Akemi because of their differences in station, such that Mizu's judgment of Akemi and actions in episode 5 are the result of prejudice rather than the result of Mizu's caution, I also want to establish that Mizu is just as caged as Akemi is, despite her technically having more freedom while living as a man.

Mizu can hide her mixed race identity some of the time, and she can hide her sex almost all of the time, but being able to operate outside of her society's strict rules for women does not mean she cannot see their plight.

It does not mean she doesn't hurt for them.

Back to Mizu and collateral damage, remember that sparrow?

While Mizu is breaking into Boss Hamata's manse, she gets startled by a bird and kills it on reflex. She then cradles it in her hands - much more tenderly than we've seen Mizu treat almost anything up to this point in the season:

She then puts it in its nest, with its unhatched eggs. Almost like she's trying to make the death look natural. Or like an accident.

You see where I'm going with this.

When Mizu kills Kinuyo, Mizu lingers in the moment, holding the body tenderly:

And btw a lot of stuff about this show hit me hard, but this remains the biggest gut punch of them all for me, Mizu holding that poor girl's body close, GOD

When Mizu arranges the "scene of the crime," Kinuyo's body is delicate, birdlike. And Mizu is so shaken afterward that she gets sloppy. She's horrified at this kill to the point that she can't bring herself to take another innocent life - the boy who rats her out.

MIZU'S ONE MOMENT OF SOFTNESS AND MERCY, COMING ON THE HEELS OF HER NEEDING TO KILL A GIRL TO SPARE HER THE WORST FATE THAT THIS RIGID SOCIETY HAS TO OFFER WOMEN, AND TO SPARE A BROTHEL FULL OF INNOCENT WOMEN WHO ARE THE CASTOFFS OF SOCIETY, NEARLY RESULTS IN ALL OF THEIR DEATHS

No wonder Mizu is as stoic and cold as she is.

And no wonder Mizu has no patience for Akemi whatsoever right before the terrible reveal and the fight breaks out:

Speaking of Akemi - guess who else is compared to a bird!

The plumage is more colorful, a bit flashier. But a bird is a bird.

And, uh

Yeah.

I like to think that Mizu killing the sparrow is not only foreshadowing for what she must do to Kinuyo, but is also a representation of the choice she makes on Akemi's behalf. She decides to cage the bird because she believes the bird is "better off." Better off caged than... dead.

But because Mizu doesn't know Akemi or her situation, she of course doesn't realize that the bird is fated to die if it is caged and sent back home.

Mizu is clearly not happy, or pleased, or satisfied by allowing Akemi to be dragged back to her father:

But softness and mercy haven't gotten Mizu anywhere good, recently.

There is so much tragedy layered into Mizu's character, and it includes the things she has to witness and the choices she makes - or believes she has to make - involving women, when she herself can skirt around a lot of what her society throws at women. Although, I do believe that it comes at the cost of a part of Mizu's soul.

After all, I'm gonna be haunted for the rest of this show by Mizu's very first prayer in episode 1:

"LET" her die. Because as Ringo points out, she doesn't "know how" to die.

Kind of like another bird in this show:

[ganemouchie]

The spark of every fireplace

[chaosblast]

something to remember you by. a memorial, of sorts

[verc0pa]

blew up his own domicile i cant believe him

[glitter-hound]

hannibal doing his. stupid. smile . don't fuckin g look at me

he's so happy . he's so happy to be sharing his favorite thing with his favorite person and feeling really truly seen and accepted by someone probably for the first time ever and he can't help smiling And the way he tries to push the smile down when he realizes he's doing it LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!! GO AWAY!!!!!

[historical-misfit]

i'm sorry i had to-

[shortkingvi]

and if i tell you that caitlyn still carries the trauma and fear of vi walking away from her after the council meeting and to cope with that fear she changed the colour of her choker to red so that she can have a little reminder of vi with her at all times just in case they ever get separated again…

… what then

[99sin]

u ruined my life author

And It Starts Again — Echo_in_a_Sky

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40054140

[hermesmoly]

thinking about Menelaus in Iphigenia at Aulis and these two passages hit the hardest to me

[staud]

happy @hbowardaily summer gift exchange to @mstiemountainhop! here are graphic edits of some of your fav bob boys with your fav songs ♡

everybody wants to rule the world by tears for fears / london bombs by eskimo joe / model trains by rye lachance / never love an anchor by crane wives

[darkshrimpemotions]

[starlesscitiess]

heyyyyy sooooo i just watched nimona and of course being me i have to get aro about it and i am Still Thinking about the moment where ballister says “she’s my friend” and ambrosius replies “aren’t i more than that” and the thing that’s great about it is that he’s in the wrong. yes the two do get back together romantically at the end but this line, its reception in context, and the subsequent emotional core of the movie reject a hierarchy with romance at the top. like. this is a line in a scene where ambrosius is explicitly antagonising our main character, being manipulated by the main villain, and himself using the relationship between himself and ballister in an emotionally manipulative way, whether deliberate or not. in this context, the romance is not the highest or purest form of love, it is not above criticism, and it is certainly not ranked above the friendship. the relationship at the centre of the film is that of ballister and nimona, the one that bal prioritises — both in this moment and throughout the film — is nimona. they are Friends and Family (and of course evil coworkers) and that is the most important thing in the whole entire world. i love to see it <3

[mikodrawnnarratives]

As much as I can see the appeal, I don't think Jinx was like a mother to Isha. Like genuinely. I see it much more fitting for them to be seen as sister figured, and they don't even need to be like that, Jinx said it herself they're FRIENDS

I mean, there are a lot of ways to spin their relationship that show parallels to other dynamics. It's pretty clear they mirror Jinx and Silco as well as Powder and Vi

....but all that doesn't make it hurt any fucking less god

[heavenlymorals]

I adore Mouthwashing (the game, fucking hate Listerine) because to me it's less a game about taking responsibility and more of a game of HOW can you take responsibility when a situation is just so fucked up, when there is no right answer, where the most obvious thing to do is either not feasible or borderline impossible, or when your circumstances somehow bar you from doing so.

Do you wait till an opening? Do you try to keep the peace till then, even if the peace is already gone? Do you look at the big picture first and then the individuals? What is the most important thing at the very moment?

What do you do?

As an observer, the answers FEEL obvious and we hate and criticize people who don't do what we want them to do because we are not in that sphere, that relationship, that place. But the people in the situation are not observers, they are active parts of a situation and any action can and will affect them- only question is how.

And that how is way more difficult than what we make it out to seem.

So I feel such sadness when I think of Anya and what happened to her. Same with Daisuke and Swansea. I feel horrified and sorrowful over Curly's fate- he tried. Maybe not hard enough due to the many circumstances of his situation, but he didn't deserve what happened to him.

And for Jimmy? It is so fucking rancid that he's just able to escape what he's done by suicide and by deluding himself that Curly is grateful to him for keeping him alive and putting him in the cryo chamber and that Curly "forgave" him because that was just the man that Curly was before the crash.

So yes, while Mouthwashing is about taking responsibility, it's moreso a game of how can you take responsibility instead.

[eminentzayn]

remember when hazel grace called her pain a 9 because she was saving her 10?

well now i understand. zayn leaving was an 8. the hiatus was a 9. this is the all amazing 10. i hate it here.

[derangedfujoshi]

Happy AkuRoku Day with some adorable interactions to everyone who celebrates~