#guilt andy barber

[thefallennightmare]

Hello strangers!

Not sure if anyone would even see this but I’m hoping it reaches my readers. I know I have quite a few unfinished works but trust me, I’m doing my best to update.

That being said, I’ve got such a good idea for a very angst Nomad Steve Rogers fic that I’m dying to write. Be on the lookout!

[wiypt-writes]

Consciousness Of Guilt

Chapter 25

Summary: You and Andy find out the sex of your new baby, and that leads Andy to an important decision.

Warnings: Language, adult themes, and an Andy who needs a hug…

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar the reader and any other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer. I do not consent to my work being translated or posted elsewhere. If you see this fiction on any site other than Tumblr it has been taken without permission.

W/C: 6.6k

A/N: So, here we are. The penultimate chapter. Hard to believe we’re almost there. As always, massive Thanks to my beta @spectre-writes

Consciousness Of Guilt Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 24

6.6k

Andy was nervous. Why he didn't know. Not entirely. It wasn't his first, maybe not his last. But sitting with you in the ultrasound room this time around had his knee bouncing and his stomach in knots. He hadn't even felt this way with Lucy's gender scan. This was...just different. You looked over at him and sighed. "Andy, relax." Your eyes were incredibly soft as you looked him over. He looked tired, you knew he was. He hadn't been sleeping much lately. He had to prepare for this seminar and a trial all at once. And when the work took over, keeping sleep at bay or to a minimum, the dreams started. It kept you up too and then he'd force himself to bed just so you'd sleep. Before your mind could think more and Andy could reply, the technician came in with a bright smile. “Me and Mrs Barber?” She pulled up the ultrasound machine as she walked round to the side of the trolley you were sat on. "Yep," Andy rubbed his hands on his thighs and stood to join you as you situated yourself on the table. She smiled as you lifted up your top, and then looked at you both. “So, you wanna know what you’re having, huh?” "Yes!" You grinned. "We did with our first." “Are they going to be a big brother or sister?” “Sister.” You smiled, “she’s so excited.” “I have three myself, a girl and twin boys," the technician grinned. "Lay back for me, this will be just a little cold." She squirted the gel on your lower abdomen after you'd undone your pants. "Are we taking bets, guesses, desires?" You glanced at Andy, swallowed a little, and you reached for his hand. “You have a feeling don’t you?” He nodded, "boy." He smiled at you as you squeezed his fingers. “Well, let’s see if dads right.” It took a couple of minutes, finding the baby and taking images for the more necessary parts of the scan. "Things look good," the technician smiled. "I can't say for sure since I'm not an MD but pieces and parts look good. Are we ready for the sex?" You looked at your husband. “Andy?” Andy nodded and squeezed your hand. "Are you a betting man, Mr Barber?" The tech looked at you both with a straight face. “I’ve had the occasional flutter, but it’s been a while.” He gave a little chuckle. “Well, take your odds to Vegas," the tech smiled and turned her screen. "It's a boy." Your eyes pricked with tears as you felt Andy’s hand tight around yours. "I'll get these printed for you and leave them with your chart when you go," she smiled warmly. "Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Barber." “Thank you,” you smiled, your eyes watching her go. When the door clicked shut, you looked over at Andy with tears in your eyes, "Andy...." “A boy…” he whispered. "Yeah," you said softly. "A boy." Your stomach was in knots as you tried to read your husband. For the first time since your very beginning, you couldn't. His eyes were shifting around the room, quickly. Looking at everything, yet focussing on nothing. "Okay," you took a shuddering breath and sat up, letting go of his hand. You swallowed the lump in your throat and slid off the table. You did up your pants, the with a turn on your foot, you stood between Andy's legs. "I can't imagine what's in your head right now," you knew exactly how his mind was whirring. "I won't pretend I do. But I am so happy, and I know you are too, BB. Just process it, okay, we'll talk about it all later." You kissed his lips tenderly as you cupped his face. "When you're ready." “Angel…” he reached up for your hand. "Yeah?" You whispered. His other hand curled round the back of your thigh as he sat up, his nose softly brushing the t-shirt which was stretched a little over your bump. “Hi, son…” he whispered, his voice cracking. Your bottom lip quivered and you sniffed. Your hand moved to the top of your little bump and you sputtered. His forehead pressed gently to your belly before those azure eyes looked up at you, misty with tears. “I love you so much.” "I love you, too, Andy," you cupped his cheek, your thumb running over his cheekbone. "We both do, we all do." Andy licked his lips, before he moved a little and you stepped back to allow him to stand up. He wiped his eyes, took a deep breath and then turned to you. “Wow…” You tearfully grinned, "I know." He moved and wrapped his arms around you, holding you close. “Suppose we best go tell Looby.” Andy snorted as the pair of you moved towards the door. Once you’d collected what you needed to, you made your way out towards Andy’s Audi, hand in hand. “So…how do you think we should do it?” You asked. “Tell Lucy, I mean.” "Suppose we just tell her?" Andy shrugged, still sniffing a little. "I'm not sure. How'd you find out about your sister?" “Mom and dad didn’t find out.” You shook your head. "Oh," he nodded and opened the door for you. "Well, then I guess we just tell her," he chuckled a little. "But we have the drive back to Ron's to figure it out." “Oh…erm can you stop by the bakery?” "Sure," he closed your door and walked around the back of the car to his side. Once in and settled, he started the car and backed out of the space. Turning left rather than right, toward Ron's, he took you to the little bakery you liked so much just down the road from the diner. As you pulled up outside, Andy stopped the car and then turned to you. “What is it?” You asked softly. “I wanna tell Lucy about both her brothers.” Your head slowly turned to look at him. "Okay..." “I mean…I know she’s probably too young to understand about Jacob, but if I tell her and keep telling her as she grows up…then she’s gotta understand as she gets older, right?” You kicked your lips. You weren't entirely surprised by his decision. You knew the day would come when Andy would want to tell Lucy about her big brother. He was after all, in the grand scheme of it, the reason she was born. But could a three year old possibly understand? That said, Lucy was very much like her father, brilliant in thought and smooth in word. Maybe you were doing her a disservice in doubting her. But more so, you knew this was less about her understanding than it was about Andy needing to tell her. You exhaled, “Andy," you paused, waiting for his eyes to flick to you. "I think you’re right. I think you should.” “Maybe…I…” he swallowed, “I just don’t think I know how.” You took a second to think, "that's okay too, BB. You'll know when you figure it out. If you want me there, I can be. I will be. But it's also okay for you to go at it alone with her." His hand reached for yours and he lifted it, softly kissing the soft skin of your wrist. “Thank you.” "I love you," you said softly, "and I know our son is..." your voice waivered, "our son is just as important as Jacob was. He won't replace his big brother. Just like Lucy never could. I can't possibly imagine how you're feeling, and part of me doesn't want to." You sniffed as the emotions started to take hold. "This is a big deal," you squeezed his hand, "and I'm always here, just like I've always been, always will be." Andy sniffed a little, before he glanced at you again. “I can’t tell you how happy I am. Another baby, a boy…” You lifted his hand to your lips, "I know...."

*********

Lucy sat in the living room in front of the film collection that sat below the television. You had gone to take a well-deserved nap so Andy popped popcorn for he and his little bunny to pass the time. He wanted to spend as much time with her as he could before the new baby arrived. For once she became a big sister, the Barber family would be forever changed. A familiar shape caught Lucy's eye and she pulled the case out. Her eyes grew wide as she stood and practically ran it over to Andy as he sat on the couch waiting for her choice.

"Daddy Wex we wash dis one!" She flopped on the couch next to him.

Andy looked over at her to take the case from her hand just as a feather escaped the couch cushion and floated between them.

The simple action made Lucy giggle as she tried to catch it.

Andy was caught off guard by the floating object, his focus quickly shifting away from Lucy. He felt his chest tighten and then he heard her giggle, her voice.

A blurred image of a T-Rex skeleton filled his vision. "Whoa, back up a second," he croaked then cleared his throat. "I can't see with it so close, bunny."

“Iss a Dino!” She moved a little allowing Andy to take the case from her.

“This…” he glanced at the Jurassic Park Blu-ray and sighed, “Looby this is gonna be way too grown up and scary for you.“

"But issa t-wex. I nots get scared, Daddy. I pwomise!"

Andy looked at her, and then he noticed the feather had landed in her hair.

It didn’t escape him just how much she was like Jacob, how he would often cajole Andy into allowing him to stay up later than he should or eat things that perhaps weren’t the wisest of choices just before bed.

And now, that feather…it was almost like Jake was telling him, “don’t be such a square, Dad…”

He chuckled with a little splutter and sniffed. It was the first feather he'd seen in a while and of all days for it to appear, it was now. With Lucy, and on the day the two of you found out your new baby was a boy. Andy reached out and plucked the feather from her hair and swallowed back the lump in his throat. And he knew, the time was right.

“Okay, we can…but first, there’s something I wanna talk to you about.”

“I not does it, Gwant ates your belt."

Andy blinked, “no, I…wait, he ate my belt?”

"Ooops," Lucy grinned with a giggle as she covered her mouth.

“Why would you think I would think you…you know what, it doesn’t matter. That’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”

Lucy climbed up into his lap and sat there with her legs slung over his thighs, her little legs bouncing. Eyes that looked like his own gazed up at him as if he were the best thing in the world.

“So…you know before, when you got your cupcake…and it had blue frosting…”

"Because I gets a brudder! I so essited!" Lucy beamed at him,

“Me too, baby.” Andy swallowed, “But I wanna tell you something. About a long time ago, before I met your mommy.”

“Like when there was dinos?”

“No, not quite!” Andy laughed, “I’m not that old!”

Looby giggled again and Andy took a deep breath. “But, back then, I had a different family.”

"You did?" Lucy frowned.

Andy nodded. “I had a different wife…and a boy…a son.”

"Oh...not Mommy, nots my baby?"

“No.” Andy shook his head. “He was older, a lot older than you.”

"Oh..." she was quiet for a minute. "Where deys goes?"

“They…they died. In an accident.”

"Oh...." Lucy frowned, "Yous sad?"

“I was, Bunny. For a long time. Sometimes I still am. But you and mommy…and now our new baby, you make it better.”

In a mature move, that surprised even Andy, Lucy threw herself into his chest. Her little body twisted to hug him close. "Nos be sad, Daddy." She whispered, "it's otay."

Andy choked a little, his arms cuddling his daughter close. “Oh, Lucy. I love you. So much.”

"Who's he? Your uvver boy?”

“His name...his name was Jake. Jacob.”

"Jay-cob," Lucy repeated. "Jacob wiked dime-osaurs."

Andy blinked, “he…he did. What….what makes you say that?”

"I wike dem, so Jay-cob wiked dem."

Andy looked down at his daughter. “He did, he liked them a lot.”

She grinned, "wike you and me."

“Just like me and you.” Andy smiled. “You know what else he liked?”

"Wut?"

“Ice cream.”

Lucy squealed, "I wuv ice cream!"

“I know,” Andy grinned.

"We has some? Wiff the movie?”

Andy chuckled, “okay, but we should probably ask Mommy. Or I'll be in big trouble!”

Lucy climbed down from where she sat and waited for Andy to get up. She took his big hand with her tiny one and pulled him toward the stairs.

"Where are we going?" He asked.

"To ask Mommy about ice cweam!"

"Oh, hang on, Looby!" Andy chuckled and pulled her back to him. "Mommy is taking a nap, why don't we start with our popcorn and when she wakes up, we ask about the ice cream?"

Lucy looked like she was in deep thought. Her little eyebrows rose into her forehead. "Just a wittle bit? I won'ts tell if you won'ts!"

There it was again, that glimmer of Jacob inside his sister. Andy supposed it was what he gave his children, sneaky little traits. He snorted, “alright, let’s go see what we got.”

Andy had just about finished scooping Lucy's strawberry ice cream into her bowl when he heard your voice. "What are you doing?"

Andy and Lucy stopped dead as you walked into the kitchen.

“Uh oh, Looby…”

“Busted!” Lucy giggled.

"Ice cream before dinner?" Your hands went to your hips, slightly masked by your little bump.

“Iss for the moovie mommy!”

You couldn't help but playfully sneer at them but then turned that smirk into a grin, "Where's my bowl?!"

Andy's grin matched yours as he slid the bowl intended for his own ice cream in front of him and began adding scoops. "How much, Angel?"

“Plenty.” You grinned.

Andy chuckled and scooped up your bowl. Lucy sat on the counter bouncing her feet as she held her bowl in her lap.

“So, what movie are we watching?”

"Juwassic Pahk!" Lucy replied.

You blinked. “Really?”

"Yup!" Lucy took a bite of her ice cream.

"Andy, are you sure?" You were a little concerned.

"We'll give it a try," he smiled softly. "Trust me, Angel."

"Mommy! Guess what?" Lucy asked.

"What?" You replied.

"Daddy says I has a Jay-cob wike my baby. He wikes dinos and ice cream likes me!”

“Daddy told you about your big brother huh?” You smiled.

At that Lucy frowned. “He’s not my brudder.”

"Why do you say that?" You asked as Andy frowned.

"Because you not his mommy," she sighed.

Andy sighed, he'd hoped she had understood what he told her but maybe he’d been a little optimistic to expect her to fully understand how the dynamics would work. He looked at you, as you registered his reaction. “I didn’t even think to try and explain that…”

"Hey, it’s okay…” You smiled gently. “Lucy, you’re right. I'm not Jacob’s mommy…”

“Dems hows he my brudder?”

"Because just like your baby brother in here,” you rubbed your bump, “ you share Daddy with him. Jacob was your brother because you have the same Daddy.”

“Oh…buts not the same mommy?”

“No baby, Jacob’s mommy was a different lady, her name was Laurie. Daddy was married to her before he met me.”

“Otay.” Looby nodded. “I sees.”

“You do?” Andy felt his heart lighten at little at her words.

“Yups. Jay-cob was my brudder, because we has the same daddy.” She repeated with a final firm nod.

“That’s it.” Andy smiled softly, “you’re so clever, Bunny.”

“Buts he in heaven nows, mommy.”

You looked at Andy as she'd said it, and saw his eyes misting as you answered for him. “Yeah, Looby, he is."

Lucy then sighed, “so I cants see him.”

“You know…” Andy quickly wiped his eyes, “I can show him to you. If you like?”

"Otay," she smiled. She handed you her bowl of ice cream, "Don't eats it, Mommy!"

“Okay, I won’t.” You chuckled.

With a soft smile, Andy looked at you.

“You go, I'll meet you at the couch.”

He nodded and swooped Lucy up in his arms off the counter.

He carried her across to the study, and gently sat her on the oak desk. He reached for a photo which sat next to one of you both and Lucy, taken a few months back, and he gently held it out.

“This is Jacob. And me.” He smiled softly. “We were in our garden of my old home.”

"Hi Jay-cob," Lucy smiled, "I your sissy, Looby."

Andy smiled as he watched, the lump in his throat thick.

"We has Daddy."

At that Andy had to look away, his chest feeling tight.

"Yous ups in Heaven wiff Bongo. Das Nanny and Gwampa’s doggy. He dieded..."

At that Andy couldn’t help but splutter a chuckle at the memory of the raggedy dog he had first met all those years back. Sadly, old age and ill health had forced your parents to make the decision all pet owners dread, and they’d done the kindest thing for him last week.

“You know, I think I’m gonna miss Bongo…” Andy smiled softly.

"Wike you misses Jay-cob?"

“Kinda.” Andy nodded.

"I wike him," Lucy looked away from the photo and to Andy. "Das my brudder, Jay-cob."

Andy immediately felt the sting in his nose, and he sniffed. “I’m sure…” his voice cracked, “I’m sure he would have liked you too, Looby.”

Ever astute, Lucy looked up at Andy, "Daddy....why you crying?"

Andy hesitated and thought about brushing it off but instead he gently picked Lucy up.

“I sometimes do when I think of Jake, but you…you make it all better.”

"I does?"

“Absolutely. Now…you know what I need?”

"A big Looby-Sore-us hug?”

“A huge Looby-Saurus hug.” Andy nodded.

Her arms wrapped around his neck and squeezed.

Andy hugged her back, his face burying into her hair. “I love you so much, don’t ever forget that.”

"I lobes you too," her little forehead touched his. "Daddy?”

“Yes, baby?”

"Can we has our popcorn and ice cream now?"

Andy laughed, “sure. Come on.”

Her little arms wrapped around his neck and held on tight as he carried her across the hall.

“Well, there you are!” You smiled as they both walked into the living space.

"Any longer and you'd miss out on ice cream! It's melting!"

"We're sorry, Angel," Andy kissed Lucy's temple and set her down. He bent his neck and gave you a soft kiss, his hand settling over your small bump.

“It’s okay,” you smiled, “did you guys…”

"Yeah, I think so," he replied softly. His eyes still a little pink.

"Are you okay?" You gently rubbed his arm.

With a nod and sniffle, Andy sighed with a small shake in his chest. "It's just fine."

"I love you, Andy."

“I love you too, Angel, all of you.”

With your hand over his, you smiled ever so gently as you all settled down to watch the film.

Surprisingly to you, maybe not so much to Andy, Lucy was fine with most of the film but didn’t like the bit where the Raptors were chasing Tim and Lexi through the kitchen. She asked Andy to fast forward through that bit, so he did.

There were no nightmares, just an excited little girl babbling all about the best bits of the film to Andy the next morning as he got her ready for nursery, asking when she could watch it again.

The rest of your week passed quickly, as did the weekend, and soon Monday morning rolled around bringing with it four nights away for Andy at a conference in New York. He was reticent to leave you, but you waved his worry away. Your pregnancy hadn’t been any more difficult than with Lucy and you felt more than capable of coping without him. You kissed him goodbye as he left in the morning, watching his baby girl hug him tight before you both then set off for the office and nursery, Grant perched in the seat next to Lucy so he could take up residency in his corner of your office as usual.

That evening, on the way home you stopped by the pet store as you’d run out of dog treats for your office stash. You let Lucy hold Grants leash as you pushed the trolley around, popping in a few bags of natural treats and titbits.

Lucy then asked to go look at the tanks of fish at the back, and she watched with fascination at how the assistant was catching a few for a sale when she gave a gasp and tugged at your top.

“Mommy, please! We hasta get Daddy-Wex a fish!"

You paused, then frowned. “Looby, why do you say that?”

"I fink he's sad," she shrugs.

“You do?”

"Yeah," she kicked dust on the ground. "I fink he misses Jay-cob."

You took a deep breath. Andy had, indeed, been a lot more reflective than you’d seen him in a long time since the day of your sexing scan. And, whilst you knew he was happy about the news you were having a boy, you also knew he was still wrapping his head around it all. And that was okay, he’d get there in time.

What you hadn’t realised was that your beautiful and smart three year old had noticed the change in her daddy too. And moreover, you had absolutely no idea how the hell she’d joined the dots as to what the problem was. But she had.

“You know, you’re right, he does miss Jacob.” You looked down at her. “And I think that because the new baby is going to be a boy, it’s making daddy think about Jacob a lot. But he’s gonna be okay.”

"I don't wike it when Daddy is sad."

“I don’t either,” you sighed, cupping her face. “But I promise, you help him. He loves you, baby. And you make him smile.” You then looked at the tank of fancy goldfish and bit your lip. “Why do you think fish will make daddy feel better?”

"Because he wikes the fish at the aquaridum!"

You felt your heart swell, and the tears of emotion prick your eyes at just how observant and thoughtful your little girl was.

“You’re right…” you nodded, and then you decided; screw it. “You know, if we wanna get him some fish, we gotta get a tank and set it all up first…”

"Oh, can we!"

“Sure, why not.” You smiled. “We can set it up and then come back for the fish at the end of the week, before daddy comes home.”

"He's gonna be so happy, Mommy! So happy!"

You smiled, you had no idea whether Andy wanted fish or not, but you knew he’d love them simply because his little girl had picked them for him, for a very caring reason.

So, off you went, loading the trolley up with an adequately sized set up, including lights, filter, substrate, and a large ornament which was in the shape of a t-rex skeleton skull.

You knew that lifting the things inside the house wasn't going to be the best of ideas if Andy sussed it out, but you didn't need to enlist help either. So when you got home, with Lucy's help carrying the lighter things, you managed to get the tank and things inside and sat in Andy's office where Lucy wanted to set up the tank.

Lucy helped you arrange the ornaments and pop in the plants, then it was a case of filling it up. You had the bright idea of using the hosepipe and attaching it to the tap in the cloakroom across the hall, and it worked pretty well all things considered.

“Iss dirty!” Lucy peered at the water.

“No, it just needs to settle.” You assured her as you flicked the filter on and added the chemicals they had told you to at the shop. “Tomorrow morning it’ll be much better.”

"Can I watch it?" Lucy grinned, complete excitement dancing in her eyes.

“There’s not much to see,” you chuckled, “but I got a better idea.”

"What?"

“Why don’t you come and look on the iPad for the types of fish we should get daddy whilst I make dinner?”

"Oh, yay!" Lucy clapped, "I esscited!"

“I know, honey, I can tell. And Daddy’s gonna love his surprise.”

"I hope sos!" Lucy smiled up at you.

You smiled down and her and took her hand, leading her to the kitchen and grabbing your tablet along the way.

True to her word, Lucy picked out a few good fish to start Andy's collection. As you didn’t work Thursdays or Fridays, Lucy didn’t attend nursery, so Thursday afternoon you took her to a specialist aquatics shop this time and let her explain to the assistant what she wanted with the pictures she had printed off and watched, smiling as the young man led her round to the cold water tanks.

When you got home, the two of you started the process of integrating the fish in the tank. Lucy couldn’t wait to tell Andy all about them.

And she would get her chance in one more sleep. Andy was scheduled to touch back down in Denver just after eleven the next morning and would be home just after lunch.

“Deys look happy, mommy!” She giggled as the four fancy goldfish swam around the various plants. “Buts deys so smalls!”

“They’re babies, Bunny.” You smiled, “that’s why. But the man told you they’ll grow bigger and that’s the perfect amount for the tank size.”

"But no more than four," Lucy held up four fingers. "Or that's toooo mush!"

You chuckled at the way she said it, that was her and Andy’s thing. Andy had always asked her how much daddy loved Looby and that was the standard response. Tooo much.

“You’re right, it is too much.” You smiled, hand on your bump as your baby boy was wriggling. “Now, which ones your favourite?”

"Ummmmm," Lucy watched them swim for a moment. "That one! Right dere!" She pointed to a particularly deep gold rather than orange colored fish. "Das Goldie!"

“Goldie…” you chuckled, “you not going to let daddy name them?”

“He can name the uvvers.” Lucy beamed up at you, a smile much like her father's with eyes that were entirely his.

"Good Idea. Now, what do you think about laying down with me for a bit and then we can order pizza and snuggle all night. Tomorrow, just after lunch Daddy will be home."

"Is Auntie Jo coming wiff hims?" Lucy wondered.

"No, baby, she's not. Not this time." You smiled, "So whatdya say; snuggles, pizza and more snuggles?"

“Yay!” She nodded, “and Gwant too.”

“Of course! Can't forget about Grant!"

Lucy did indeed snuggle and take a little cat nap with you until Andy called, waking you both up.

“Hey…” you blinked at the screen.

“I’m sorry, Angel.” He sighed, apologetically, “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s okay,” you shook your head, “I should probably be getting little miss ready for bed anyway.”

"You feeling alright?" Andy wondered.

"Just making a baby, nothing unusual," you chuckled.

“Nah, the making is the fun part,” Andy winked, “You’re doing the hard work baking him now.”

You grinned, "how did it go today?”

“It was okay, my presentation in the morning went without a hitch.” He smiled, “some of the debate this afternoon got a little heated but, wouldn’t expect anything else from a room full of judges and lawyers. The big dinner tonight should make up for it.”

"Ah yes, the dinner," you sighed, remembering the very first one you'd attended with Andy. "Bland chicken and cold vegetables. Enjoy the open bar, it'll be worth it."

Andy laughed, “lamb tonight, Angel, they asked for our orders in advance. And I intend to, although not too much. Don’t fancy flying home with a hangover.”

“Is that daddy?” A yawning voice from the little person tucked into your side spoke.

"It sure is, Bunny."

She shifted a little and sat up, and you smoothed her hair back as she took the phone from you.

“Hi daddy rex!”

"Well, hi Looby-saurus!" Andy chuckled, "how's my little bunny? Are you taking care of Mommy?"

“Yups,” She grinned. “We had Pizza and watched Toy Story!”

"Well, I can't believe I missed it!"

“Yous can watch at weekends” she grinned.

“Sounds great?” Andy smiled, “what else did you do?”

“Wells today we goes and…” Lucy stopped, and then blinked. “Oops, I cants say.”

"Oh, you can't, huh?" A smirk crossed his lips. He flicked his brow in curiosity.

"Nopes, it's a supwise! I cants!"

“You got me a surprise?”

"Don't give in to him, Lucy!" You laughed. "Andy..." you slowly scolded.

“What?” He laughed.

“Dass naughty, Daddy!”

"Alright! I'll be excited to see it! One more sleep, Looby, just one!"

“Does you gots to work tomorrow when yous home?”

“Nope.” Andy shook his head, “it’s an early start to the weekend, baby.”

"Pancakes?"

“Well, I won’t be home until after lunch but…Saturday morning absolutely.”

“Wiff berries and whippeds cream?"

“Of course, is there any other way?”

"Otay! I miss you Daddy."

“I miss you too, Bunny, but one more sleep. That’s all.”

"Otay, Daddy! I gots to go potty!"

“Alright…I love you.”

"Bye daddy!" Lucy tossed the phone to you and then scrambled over your legs and off the sofa.

Can you manage?” You called after her.

"I gots it!"

You chuckled as you picked up the phone. “Little Miss Independent.”

"Huh, yeah, like someone else I know," Andy's eyes sent a playful glare your way. "I miss you, Angel. I know It's only been a couple of days, but I miss you both a lot."

“I miss you too, but not long now.” You smiled softly.

"No, I suppose not," he smiled back. But whilst you knew his smile was genuine, there was that look in his eyes. The look you recognised all too well, and the one that was clearly now why Lucy was feeling the way she was about her daddy; that he was sad.

“Andy…”

"Yeah, baby?"

“It’s okay, you know. To feel how you’re feeling about this…about him. I get it.”

Andy sighed, "I know. But...Angel, this... This is on me. It's not about our son, it's not about us. I'm just...it’s a lot to wrap around right now. It's been a heavy week." His shoulders slumped and he inhaled a shaky breath. "Maybe that's why this seminar hasn't been the greatest. My heads not here, my heart isn't either."

“Oh, Andy.” You swallowed, “I can’t imagine how you feel but I just want you to know I’m not mad or upset…I just, well I get it, okay. And however long you need…that’s okay too.”

"Thank you, I'm sorry."

“Are you happy about the baby?”

“What? Of course I am!”

“And are you gonna love him any less because he is a boy?”

“No, Angel, that’s…”

“Then there’s nothing to be sorry for.” You shook your head.

Andy took in a deep, rattling breath. His eyes were misting, and you could see it over the video call.

“I mean it,” you looked at him.

Andy nodded, the words stuck in his throat. He sniffed and cleared the lump away. "I love you."

“I love you too. So much, Andrew Steven Barber.”

He nodded as his lip wobbled, "I'm gonna see you tomorrow. Sweet dreams, Angel."

“Yeah, you will. Enjoy the dinner, okay? “

“Okay, honey.”

You bid him goodbye and then took a deep breath before you hauled yourself up off the sofa and headed off to find Lucy.

****

It was just before one the next afternoon when Lucy excitedly yelled as she heard Andy’s car pull up the gravel driveway in front of your home.

“Mommy! It's Daddy-Rex!! He's home!"

“I heard,” you chuckled over Grant’s barking.

He came through the front door and dropped his bags at once, scooping up a charging Lucy.

“Hi, Bunny!” He grinned as he hugged her tightly.

Her little arms strangled around his neck as she buried her little face into his bearded cheek. "I missed yous!"

“I missed you too. Have you looked after mommy and your brother for me?”

Lucy pulled back and smooshed his cheeks together, "Yups! And I fed Gwant! He no eats your tings dis time."

“Well, good job!” Andy grinned as he puckered his lips for a kiss off his daughter. She laid one on him and with a final squeeze, let her down. He used his lower thigh to move Grant out of the way and looped an arm around you as you waited close by. He cupped the side of your face with his free and hand kissed you. Kissed you good; tenderly and slowly.

“Hi…” you whispered, your nose brushing his.

"Hi, baby," he whispered back. His lips pecked yours as he pulled back a little to rest his hand on your bump. "Hi, pal."

“How was your flight?” You asked, your hand laying over the top of his.

"Not quick enough," he sighed. "Let me take these bags up and put my briefcase in the office and I'm all yours. Jo gave me some stuff to bring home for Lucy."

“Why am I not surprised?” You chuckled, “she’s spoilt.”

"Hey, she's her godmother and Lucy is the closest thing they have to children.” Andy smirked. "Let me just go put this in the office first," he winked and picked up his shoulder bag.

"No Daddy! You cants go in there!" Lucy exclaimed.

“Why not?”

"Ums..." she looked at you for help.

“Because we made a mess in there, and we need to tidy up.” You said slowly, holding his gaze.

“Ohhh,” Andy nodded, winking at you. “I see.”

"So you goes to your room, Daddy!" Lucy grinned, "gets cozy and comes back!" She shrugged with her hands out to the sides like it was the perfect idea.

Andy bit his lip, stopping himself from laughing and he nodded. “That’s the best idea, ever.”

"Otay, bye!"

Andy kissed you again and grabbed his suitcase and headed upstairs. Grant, as ever the obnoxious dog he was to his owner, trotted up after him.

“Hello, you furry ass hole.” Andy chuckled as he hopped up onto the bed, tail wagging. He gave Grant an affectionate scratch behind the ear before he emptied his case out quickly. Once his dirty laundry was in the basket, he changed from his jeans and polo to some sweats and a tee.

“C’mon, pal. Let’s go see what your best buddy has planned, huh?”

Grant huffed as if in reply and followed Andy out of the room. Behind his back he held a little gift bag from Jo and her wife. Quickly thudding down the stairs, Andy found you and a very excited Lucy waiting for him ever so wiggly patient by the television and fireplace.

"Cwose yous eyes, Daddy!"

“Okay, but don’t you want your present from auntie JoJo first?”

Lucy's eyes grew wise, "yes, pwease!" She jumped up and down.

With a smile, Andy handed it over.

She sat right down in the spot where she'd stood and pulled the tissue from the top.

“Ooooh looks!” She pulled a new set of colouring pencils out, followed by a sketch book. “I lobes them!”

"Auntie knows you love your art sets, doesn't she, Looby?" You smiled at her, your hand resting on your belly.

Andy smiled warmly and pulled his phone from the coffee table. "Look here, Looby Loo!" He snapped a picture to send off later.

"Okay, do you think Daddy's ready, Lucy?" You peered down at her as she put her things on the coffee table.

“Yups!” She nodded, a huge grin on her face.

"Alright," you smiled. "Close your eyes, BB. Looby, take his hand and go show him. I'm right behind you."

“Dis way, Daddy. For your surprise!”

"Don't run me into anything!"

"No peeking, Daddy!"

“I’m not…”

Lucy took him to his office and made sure he stood right in front of the tank. You held your phone out for pictures and video that you knew Andy would want to see later.

“Okay daddy, when I counts free!”

Andy chuckled, "Okay!"

"One...two..free!"

Andy opened his eyes and blinked. He frowned a little, before his mouth curled up at one side.

“Goldfish?”

"Yup!" She grinned. "Wike the aquardium!"

“They are, yeah.” He chuckled, “and is that a t-rex?”

"Yes! Mommy wet me gets it!" Lucy giggled and hugged his leg. "Are yous happy now, Daddy?"

At that Andy looked away from the fish and down at Lucy. “What do you mean, Bunny?”

"You sads cause of Jay-cob, so I makes you happy!"

“I…” Andy blinked, before he hung his head a little, swallowing.

Your hand fell to the middle of his back, "It's okay." You whispered to him. Then with a little louder voice you peered around Andy's broad back, "He loves it Lucy."

Andy gently dropped to his knees and pulled his daughter into his arms and just held her. "I'm so happy about my fish, baby."

“Daddy, you cries?”

"I'm okay, Lucy, I promise." He sniffed.

“Daddy’s just really happy. Sometimes those feelings get a lot.” You explained.

"Oh," she sighed. "No cries, okay Daddy? I loves you, and dems fishies loves you. Mommy, my baby, my Jay-cob. We alls loves you, Daddy-Rex."

Andy spluttered and pulled Lucy to him, burying his face in her hair. “I love you too, my baby girl. So, so much.”

"Tooooo much!"

Andy pulled back. “Lucy, I wanna tell you something now. And I hope you understand. But, sometimes when I miss Jacob, I do feel sad, but that doesn’t ever mean I don’t love you or I’m sad because of you. You and mommy and now your new baby brother make me so, so happy.”

Lucy took a minute to try and, but she looked confused. Your heart ached for your husband, hearing him say it just chipped away a little at it. The confusion on Lucy's face made you smile softly. "That means that Daddy loves you no matter what and always, okay, Lucy?"

“I knows dat!” She looked at you and then Andy as if you were both stupid.

"Okay, Bunny, just so you know," Andy sniffed. "Now, do they have names?"

“Erms…one does.” She grinned as Andy stood up with her in his arms. “Dat one is Goldie.”

"Oh, Goldie, huh? Original.” His sarcasm was lost on Lucy as she grinned. Andy chuckled. “Okay, and the rest?"

"Das it."

“So, we have to pick names for the other three?” Andy studied the remaining fish, one being white with an orange stripe down its back, the other black with googly eyes and the other a mix of black, orange and gold flecks.

"Yup!"

“Okay…well this one is kinda speckled, so what about Speckles?”

“Now who’s original?” You whispered and he snorted.

"I wike dat," Lucy smiled. "And dat one is...." she thought for a moment, pointing at the black one. "Dat one is Wex!"

“Rex, okay…that’s cool so that just leaves that one with the stripe.”

“Erms oh, oh…Iddle Foot!”

"Oh, good eye, baby! He has a stripe like Little Foot, huh?" Andy kissed her temple. "Thank you so much for my surprise, both of you." He reached for you and looped his arm around your waist, then he kissed your temple. "I love you all so much."

“He wikes them mommy!”

"He sure does, baby," you nodded and leaned into Andy. "He sure does.”

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Oh look…

Sneaky Peaky…

Consciousness Of Guilt

Andy chuckled as you moved so he could climb out of bed, his bare torso flexing a little as he headed out of the room, Grant following. He opened the baby gate into Lucy’s room to find her sat up, the early light from the sunrise illuminating her slightly.

“Good morning Looby-Saurus.” He beamed.

“Hi Daddy Wex!” She giggled as Grant hopped up onto her toddler bed and stuck his nose into her face. “Gwant!”

“Stupid dog…” Andy grumbled, rolling his eyes.

“Daddy nos calls Gwant!” Lucy admonished as she stared up at him and Andy couldn’t help but snort at the expression she wore, so like you.

“Okay, okay.” He grinned and swooped her up in his big arms. She still sometimes looked so small in them to him, his precious girl. "Do you want to come snuggle Mommy so I can get ready for work?"

“Yup yup yups!” She hugged him round his neck and then she gasped. “Oh…iss a-vent day?”

He groans a little, "yep, it's advent day."

She squealed. “We goes?”

"Yes, but after I get dressed for work."

“Otay…”

"I'll be quick, promise." He kissed her cheek as he walked them into your room.

“Mommy!” Looby grinned as she saw you sat up in the large bed.

"Good morning, Looby Loo!"

“Iss assvent!”

"I know! Are you excited?"

In the corner of your eye you saw Andy trying not to laugh at the unfortunate mispronunciation of the word.

“I so esscited!”

COMING NEXT WEEK…AS soon as I get my ass into gear

[georgiapeach30513]

Two Good Reasons, Part 3

Summary: Andy wants to know your truth

Pairings: Andy Barber X Reader

Rating: mature

Warnings:  mild language, insecurities concerning reproduction, mentions of spousal neglect, mentions of cheating, touching in public, 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 6.3K

Previous

Series Masterlist

*dividers created by @firefly-graphics

“Grab your things,” Andy says before he’s even fully exited Ransom’s office. Your boss’ face goes slack, and he looks at Andy with disdain. “This isn’t a request. We’re going for coffee.”

Your eyes ping pong from Ransom to Andy, and you politely shake your head no. You need the job, and it didn’t look professional if Andy demands you to leave. Ransom is the boss, “I have to work. This is business hours. And when I’m done I need to go pick up,” you gulp. Your eyes fall on Andy, and you shamefully shake your head.

“I know. I’ll make sure you make it to pick them up on time,” you look towards Ransom again, unsure of why you want to deny an actual conversation with Andy. Shame didn’t feel like the right word. You did nothing wrong. And yet there’s this gut wrenching guilt you feel, and you’re not sure why, “Ransom, she’s taking the rest of the day off.”

“I-I-I ugh,” groaning at the reality you’re in. You were not supposed to be worrying about things like this, “I can’t afford to.”

“He’s giving you paid leave,” Ransom groans behind you, but Andy grabs your coat anyways. “Doe,” there’s something in the tone of his voice, the look in his eyes, and the way his hand slightly flinches towards you. He isn’t angry. He seems caring.

You stand up, leaving Ransom’s mouth slightly gaping at you, but you nod your farewell. It sounds like whatever this coffee conversation is, will take the rest of the day. “Sloane, can you tell Willow to cancel my day,” Sloane answers quickly, looking to you a bit confused, and you walk side by side with Andy Barber. Something you haven’t done in awhile.

“You drink your coffee the same?” You stutter a moment, “Doe, iced shaken latte?”

“Yeah,” how is he remembering this? And why? The answer that you refuse to let pass through your brain. You can’t go there right now. “But with oat milk now,” he gives you a sincere smile, motioning his head in a corner.

“That’s my table. Lots of privacy. I’ll be over there once I have the coffees,” your mind is reeling. Whatever happened in Ransom’s office, Andy’s coldness is now morphed into how he was. Especially that night. The way his hands brushed over every inch of your skin, and made you feel alive for the first time in years.

The ride here was brief, but so quiet. Andy’s fingers drummed on his knee, keeping rhythm to the music, and you hated yourself a bit for being the obedient quiet woman. You want to pick his brain, and ask what changed. He knew about the kids. You’re assuming he knows about Scott. They might not be in the same office, but they could have seen each other around. Been in the courtroom together. Anything.

Andy gives you a warm smile as he hands the cup to you. You take a slow drink, and smile up at him, “You remembered the vanilla bean powder.”

“It’s part of your order. Why the switch to oat milk?”

You take a sip, refusing to meet his eyes. You’re not ashamed you have children, you’re ashamed this is how the conversation is had. He knows, and not from you. “My youngest, Suede, has a lot of allergies and intolerances, and one is lactose. So it was easier for us all to make the switch. Audrey liked the taste of oat milk best. Suede doesn’t care as long as I make him chocolate sauce.”

His eyes light up as he takes a drink from his cup. You wonder if he still drinks his coffee with light cream. Or even if he would use plant based milk. “You make chocolate sauce?”

“When I make it, I don’t have to worry about whether Suede can have it,” so much of the eating habits changed when you learned that he had allergies. It wasn’t a hesitation for you. It wasn’t at first with Scott, until it became an inconvenience.

“How many children do you have?”

“Just the two,” you sigh, looking at his thick fingers. Andy was never shy about wanting a family, and you fear that now that you can’t give him that, things have been ruined before they can begin again. You can sense the question lingering on his tongue, and yet, he’s too nice to say anything. “You can ask.”

“I’d rather you just tell me, this is us as friends catching up,” of course he’d be the gentleman. He’d say the right things. Do the right things. But you aren’t putting yourself into this line of questioning if that isn’t what he wants to know. “It’ll sound insensitive.”

“I just want to make sure we’re going the way I think it is. It doesn’t hurt like it used to,” you had healthy and happy children. What more could a mother ask for? Of course you wanted more, but it wasn’t in the cards, and it just seems so arrogant to think you deserve more when you have two.

“So it wasn’t your decision to not have any more children?” So formal. And yet, it doesn’t sting. No one has ever talked to you about this. It was always about how Scott felt. And you’re the one that did all the work. The one that feels inadequate for not giving your husband what he claimed to desire. You just shake your head no. Only just noticing Andy’s left fingers have been grazing over your knee. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Does any woman want to talk about how she’s not able to have children and it’s taken away from her involuntarily? Too often our bodies and uteruses are discussed with very little regard for us as a human. Our bodies are meant to be incubators for men that want to reproduce. But no one wants to talk about our mental status if that’s striped away from us, do they?”

“While there are people, especially men, who think that way, you know I don’t, Doe. The only thing I’ve ever wanted was you,” instead of the tips of his fingers, his hand flattens, touching you more. He watches your face to see if you protest, but you don’t. Instead you wish he would hold you like he did when you were teenagers. His arms always were the best comfort. “Honey, we don’t have to talk about it.”

“I want to. I never have been able to, passed the too clinical doctors. Even — even Scott,” you should have known the writing was on the wall for your marriage, but at that time you would have done anything to save it. Andy’s posture goes rigid, and his jaw clenches. His anger. Even now, Andy has this innate need to protect you. Still.

“Andy,” his eyes close so slowly. Like he’s trying to absorb your calmness. You’ve had some time to process your marriage, but Andy is just learning about this. You wait until his body relaxes, and proceed, “It’s not impossible. It’s just such a rare chance. We even did a year of IVF. It was miserable and never took. Our next step was surrogacy. Except I guess he was going the old fashioned route.”

You look to the left, trying to hold in your angry tears. Not because you’re sad that your sham of a marriage ended, but because of the lengths you went to preserve it. The constant mental turmoil, but when you caught him with Taylor, it wasn’t blind rage. It was anger for you. For the disrespect to your home and your kids being there. The door was unlocked, and had Audrey walked in — you can’t even think about it.

So many times in the past few months you try and think if there was a time you were truly happy with Scott. Or had you found the replacement to the man in front of you, and you just went through the motions. You look at your two children and how you have this unwavering love you have for them. They were your reasons. Being a mother has been the highlight of your life. You just wish they had a father like Andy to share it with.

“He cheated?” you can’t answer, so you nod. Andy sighs, he is well aware of your no cheating policy. “How did you find out?”

“It’s easy to find out when you find the babysitter bouncing on his cock, while our children were taking their nap,” his Adam’s apple bobs. His body tense and agitated. “I suppose she did me a favor if it wasn’t for her continuing to be in our life because Scott never knows how to be alone. Or for someone to ruin his perfect picture of his life. Of course, he’ll twist it and turn it into being my fault, and that Taylor is his true love. Anything to make the affair not be his fault.”

You see him take a tentative lean forward, but you lean back in your chair, “Andy, don’t get involved. You can’t save me from everything. This is my mess that I chose willingly to get into.”

“He’s trying to take your kids from you, and he can’t even make simple adjustments in his diet to make sure your son is safe?” A tearful laugh pushes past your lips. “This isn’t funny.”

“I don’t think it’s funny. I’m just laughing because you haven’t changed. Why do you always need to protect me?”

“Because you never want to protect yourself,” the two of you stare for too long at each other. The most comfortable silence between you, and you don’t want to break the spell. The one thing you’ve always wanted is right in front of you. He’s close enough to touch, and grab him.

“How come you never got married?”

“Well, I never fell in love again. I tried. A few times, and then I just — you don’t want to hear about that,” you giggle, using your foot to playfully kick at his, and his fingers gently start rubbing on your knee again. “Did you love Scott?”

“Are you asking me a simple question, or is this you asking me if I loved him like I loved you?”

“Touché,” he raises his cup, already knowing your response before you even say it. His mouth turned into a cocky smirk.

“I was married to a lawyer, but was still in love with you, Andy. Maybe I did love him in ways. But maybe it was because he was close to being you. I know how sometimes a simple question can be quite complex,” his hand drifts a bit further up your leg. Still an appropriate amount, but there’s a neediness in it. A want to have things go back to normal. “No. I don’t think I was ever in love with him,” that hand travels up even further, and he smiles when your legs spread just an inch wider.

“What are we doing here, Doe?”

“We’re having coffee because you demanded that I leave my job for the rest of the day. We have less than an hour before I need to pick up two children from the daycare center.”

“I saw Audrey,” he smiles, his hand flattens on your thigh. “She looks beautiful just like her mom. Has your eyes. You wanna talk about them?”

“What’s there to talk about? I’m a mom, a damn good mom if I say so myself. They’re my life. The only reason I hang on to hope with this divorce. The idea of Scott getting full custody is something I can’t even comprehend. He isn’t even potty training Suede. And he’s not even patient with him as he tries to talk. Audrey is my talker. She’s so smart for how little she is. So protective of her brother, and intuitive with him. She even wakes me up and says she’s had a nightmare so I sleep in her bed with her. I think it’s because she doesn’t want me on the couch. But I can’t let my girl be scared. They’re amazing. And I seriously question how I deserved them, but I won’t live without them either. They’re mine.”

it’s a sentiment you know in the depths of your soul. Those babies are yours. You carried them, you birthed them, fed them, changed their diapers, became their everything. Scott might have provided the funds, but he was just that. The money. There were moments, and glimpses of him being a good dad, and enjoying at least Audrey. You wonder if Suede’s allergies, and being a more difficult baby overall, is when he started to check out.

Audrey is the perfect child that was easy to get on a schedule. The pregnancy was easy. She is a fast learner. But Suede, your sweet baby, had so many difficulties since he was conceived. You sometimes wonder if Scott blames the difficult pregnancy and labor on your son, and even your problems with conceiving on Suede. His need to want another child so quickly was possibly a do over. For — the mistake. He called Suede that one time. And you’ll never forgive him.

Your mind easily spirals when it comes to Suede and Scott’s relationship. And you didn't care anymore. You didn’t have to beg for Scott to hold him, while you put Audrey to bed. Or to force him to try and talk to Suede. There’s a disconnect, and you hate him for it. Like any of his allergies were the baby’s fault. Fuck him. Fuck Scott, and his ways to make Suede insecure. Fuck. Him.

“I won’t let that happen,” Andy, sensing your growing anger, interrupts.

“I thought I told you not to get involved?”

His hand drifts up too high for public consumption. His fingers flutter over your covered core, and he smirks as his hand slides back down. Remaining too high, but you don’t care. You’ve not felt this way since Andy. “Doe, I’ve been involved since the moment I came into Ransom’s office and saw you. And since being inside of you, and coming in you, there’s no way that I’m not going to be involved. Even if it’s just to guide you to a better lawyer.”

“That’s who I can afford. And exactly why is Ransom telling you who my lawyer is? Especially considering he’s the one that is talking to Ray Smith for me. That’s who he’s hoping to take over my case,” Andy chuckles. Clearly Ransom left that piece out of what he told him. “He’s willing to set up — payment plans.”

You weren’t supposed to tell anyone about what Ransom was doing. For whatever reason that man wants everyone to think he’s a giant asshole, but you immediately saw right through his facade. Ransom is a good man, even if he didn’t want anyone to know about.

“Fine, I won’t get involved in court proceedings, but I will be involved with you as moral support.”

“Why?”

“You know exactly why,” his tone darkens, and you see lust ping his pupils.

“For unprotected sex, with all the creampies you can imagine?”

His hand shoots all the way to your core, and he flattens it over your covered mound. Giving you a crooked smile when you lean back, spreading your legs even further. “Sex with you is a bonus, not a requirement. But judging on how wet you are right now, means it’s not completely off the table. Now, if you want to act like I’m a sex crazed lunatic because you feel things are going too fast, that’s your prerogative, but don’t insult my intelligence.”

He removes his hand too soon. Lifting it to his mouth where he sucks on a finger. “Did anyone ever tell you that you taste delectable?”

“Yes. You have plenty of times.”

“Because I’m a smart man,” you watch as he puts another finger in his mouth. Can imagine that his tongue is circling the digit before he pulls it out. Smiling as he inserts another one. “Now that we have got your need to make a smart ass comment out of the way. No. I’m not getting involved for sex and creampies. My love for you extends past your cunt. All I have ever wanted was you. We were too young, and here I am as an adult with everything I wanted and I worked hard for, except for you.”

“I can’t have more children, and I don’t want to go through IVF again.”

“I’m not asking. I’m not even asking for us to jump into a relationship together. Us having kids, was just kids dreaming and talking, and thinking we had all our shit figured out. You have children,” you don’t want to say it, but the thought that he didn’t lingers on your mind. Something like that can make or break a relationship, and it’s better to be realistic and honest from the beginning. Scott had ruined you by thinking that your ability to produce him a child or lack thereof is your fault. Andy didn’t care. “Besides thinking about having more children, when you have two perfectly amazing humans already is a bit premature.”

“You’ve never even met them.”

“You already told me they are perfect. I trust you. Are you done with trying to make excuses to not have me in your life? I’m not talking about getting married tomorrow, I’m talking about you having a friend in Newton. Someone to talk to when you’re lonely, or feel you’re at your wits end. Don’t make any more excuses. I get it. You’re legally separated, you have two children, you’re becoming independent. I just want to be a part of that. As a friend.”

Now you’re not exactly an idiot. You and Andy were never able to be just friends. Hell, he’d already fucked you an entire night. But the sincerity in his voice, and the soothing feeling of having his hand on your knee again is comforting. It feels nice to not be alone, to not have to try and figure out how you’re even going to find a friend when your free time is being a mother.

“We should get your kids,” you glance to your phone on the table, seeing the time. “I’m just a friend you met at work,” you gulp. So much change has happened in their life, is Andy being present going to make it even worse? “No touching, no kissing, but I can’t guarantee I won’t smile.”

“Is this why you wanted me to take my car? Did you plan this?”

“This is me planning ahead. I saw the time before we left, and knew this could be awhile. I can get an Uber back to the office if that is what you want,” you want for your children to not be put in adult squabbles. You want them to feel comfortable getting in the car, and there’s a man with you that’s not their daddy. You want them to not think that Scott threw you away for Taylor.

“Do not get too friendly, okay? Suede won’t notice anything, but she will. Andy, I mean it,” your daughter noticed too much. And didn’t have a filter for saying things either. You didn’t want to stifle her voice or for her to think she couldn’t talk to you. Just some things you didn’t want to know. Like how Taylor rubs on her daddy’s belt all the time. Something you can only assume is her hand is too low on Scott.

“Why are you so worried?” Because you’re the weak one here. Andy’s ability to be nonchalant is infuriating. You want him, always have. But it’s time to put your big girl panties on for them, and not be a hormonal teenager.

“I’m not.”

“And you never lie, either,” Andy grins as he stands up from the table. That sly grin that tells you he knows how much you’re worried, and knows that you worry that you can’t be just friends with Andy.

“Shut up.”

“Andy,” you warn as he undoes his seatbelt. Placing his hand on the door handle. “You stay put.”

“Why?”

“Because I can check my kids out of daycare myself,” his fingers tense a moment on the handle, acting like he’s going to open the door. “You can’t just overstep my boundaries before we’ve even established anything. It’s going to be confusing enough for them with you in the car. Stay here,” he places a hand in his lap, smiling as you walk into the center.

Leaving him with his thoughts for too long. How the hell did you end up with someone like Scott? He saw a little glimpse of you just then, demanding he stay put, but there’s still this brokenness inside of you. One he thought you had gotten over. That your parents’ influence still didn’t linger. And yet, you found someone just like your dad.

Andy isn’t certain if he’s good enough for you or your children, but he will try. He will try to be everything that you have ever wanted. To be the man that you believed him to be. You even knew his little ticks, and just how protective he could be of you.

He didn’t have to think about your worry of not being able to have more children the traditional way. It was a non-argument. He didn't care. He could survive without siring a child, but what he couldn’t live without is you. You had children, and while he understands Scott is the unfortunate father, they’re still a part of you. And would be in his life. That would be enough.

How your soon to be ex husband couldn’t see what you had sacrificed for your family is unfathomable. The more he thinks about Scott, the more he hates him, and Andy can’t go down this road logically. He can’t sit and stew about the ways he’d like to destroy Scott, because he is your children’s father. And it sucks that he’s a lawyer, and he’s limited anyways.

Andy could be a hopeless romantic, but only with you. Everything he said he meant. It is silly to say it out loud, but all those women were never you. Even the ones he tried a relationship with. He was a grown adult man, and still longed for you. Not what the two of you dreamed about, but you. Life wasn’t a life without you.

Audrey is the first to notice him. You hold Suede in one arm, while holding her hand with the other. The little boy is very obviously a mama’s boy; his head leans over on your shoulder, while a chubby arm wraps around your neck. Audrey holds onto two lunch boxes, and has a backpack too large for her body, but she points at him in the car. She looks up at you, saying something, and you smile down at her.

Opening up the door on Suede’s side, Audrey crawls in first. Dumping the lunchboxes and backpack on the floor before crawling into her booster seat. “Audrey, Suede, I want you to meet an old friend of mine. This is Andy. Andy, these are my kids Audrey and Suede.”

Suede gives him a wave, bashfully smiling as he looks up at you. But Audrey twists her head like a puppy staring at him. “You came to my house the other day,” you give a quick glance up at Andy. You knew he returned your wallet, and that Audrey had seen her, but you weren’t sure she’d remember.

“I did. I brought back your mom’s wallet. Did you have a good day at school?”

“Mommy already asked me, but yes.”

“Suede, did you have a good day, buddy?”

“Chess,” he answers, looking back up at you with a smile, and you kiss his head. You finish buckling him in, and walk over to Audrey’s side. Strapping her in and look at her. Of course she’d have a ton of questions and no way to focus them into words.

“Baby, you okay?” Maybe if you open the dialogue she could start talking. Vocalize her thoughts, so you understand what’s going on through her mind.

“Why is he here?”

“We had coffee, and lost track of time. So he came with me to get you,” you answer her as you get into the driver’s seat. Turning in your seat, you look at her. She isn’t done with her questions, and you want to allow time her to process everything.

“Do I have to keep this a secret from daddy?”

“No,” you try to remain calm, but your mind wanders to what she’s kept secret from you. “I told you, you tell daddy whatever it is that you want to tell him. We don’t have to have secrets. Secrets destroy relationships. We should be honest with each other.”

Her face scrunches up, trying to think of any question that might further help her figure out who Andy is, and why he’s here with you. “Is he staying for dinner?”

“Would you like him to?” She shrugs. She didn’t know him enough to form an answer. “If Andy would like to come to the house for dinner, he’s more than welcome to. I need to drop him off at the office.”

“Daddy’s office?” You shake your head no. “Is it out of the way like daddy’s office?”

“It kind of is,” Andy pipes in. He looks between the two kids, and Suede still smiles. He’s too sweet. “I bet the two of you are pretty hungry, and need a snack, right?” Suede enthusiastically, and claps his hands. “Audrey, you need a snack, too?”

“Yeah. Mommy and me made scotcharoos last night. I want ants on a log, too.”

“Ants on a log, huh? Your mom used to make that for me.”

Audrey smiles, kicking her little legs around, and you know that Andy has her. “Did she make it with sun butter or plant cheese?”

“She means plant based cream cheese. And I think I made it in all kinds of ways for Andy. Except he liked them with craisins,” Audrey curls her nose as she looks up at him, but Andy shrugs.

“Okay, so it’s settled, we’ll get a snack, and I can call an Uber. That way you and Suede don’t starve to death,” Audrey gives a giggle, and looks over at Suede who laughs with her. The two of them are in a fit of laughter, and you relax. You hadn’t realized how much you wanted them to like Andy. Even if he is just your friend.

Anything with Andy would rely heavily on them. If they didn’t like him — it would hurt. If they were influenced not to like him — you try to center yourself. You have no doubt that any man coming into your life Scott will try to influence their hatred. Even if you didn’t talk bad about Taylor in front of them.

If Taylor took a four year old to get a mani/pedi you smile, and thank her. Making sure to tell Audrey how pretty it looks, and hope she had a good time. When Taylor took Suede to get his haircut, you swallowed your pride, thanked her, and told Scott to next time ask, and make sure that he’s properly in his seat. If Taylor lets them swim at the pool without floaties, you try to remain calm, and wait for the kids to fall asleep, before going in on Scott. ‘It was a kiddie pool.’

You tried to remain neutral with Taylor, even though she’s part of the reason your marriage failed. But having the kids hate her isn’t going to solve anything. Especially since she’s in his life. Her bringing her cat around Suede is a different thing. You didn’t think you’d ever get the air purified for him. It’s bad enough when he’s around a space that the cat has been in. But bringing the cat here, and letting him hold her is different.

You didn’t hate the cat, but you want this space to be cat free since Suede lives with you. His home should be his sanctuary. “Hey,” Andy says beside you, “Get out of your head, and enjoy this moment,” he doesn’t touch you, even though he struggles not to. He smiles, and you look in the back at the giggling duo.

“Give me a good reason to continue this,” you look up at him, hoping that he remembers the thing. If one person is having second thoughts about something the other has to give one good reason and it makes things less scary. You’re terrified. This is early, but it is easy. Too easy.

“Andy, I need a good reason because,” you look back at them again, still laughing, and talking between themselves. “I’m scared.”

“This is just a friendship,” you roll your eyes, but continue to look at him. “And I’m scared, too. We’re in it together.”

You exhale slowly before putting the car in reverse. That was one good reason. You and him are scared. But the kids are happy. And you are. Yeah. You’re happier. You didn’t have to do this alone. You’re just friends. And even telling yourself that you know you’re a liar. You were never just friends with Andy Barber.

You try not to get attached to the sound. You try with all your might to not fall in love with this feeling. This is the first time he’s met them, of course it’s going to be easy. This is the easy stuff. Popping a tab in the dishwasher you start the contraption, and look around the kitchen. It took no time to clean up. Andy had offered to help, but instead the kids wanted to play with him.

And now all you hear is giggles, and the pitter patter of feet. They are playing chase or something, and it warms your heart that for at least today they enjoy him, and he is them. That takes away some of your jitters and concerns.

Andy comes running into the kitchen first. Darting behind you, and wrapping an arm around your waist, shielding himself from the two kids who giggle in front of you. “That’s cheating! Release the mommy!”

“Chess!” Suede nods pointing at Andy.

He leans forward, his chin resting on your shoulder. While it isn’t the most loving thing, it is a playful way for him to be close to you. His beard tickles your neck, “I’ll take Suede, you take Audrey.”

“Suedey! They’re planning something.”

“On the count of three. One.”

“Oh no!” Suede pretends to shiver in place.

“Two.”

“We won’t get out of this!”

“Three!” Everyone scatters. The kids bolt back into the living room, and you and Andy chase after them. The loudest screaming giggles reverberate around the house and back into your soul. You haven’t heard them so happy in so long. Hadn’t felt comfortable enjoying your home since that day.

Catching up to them would be easy, and shorten this moment. It would take away all the love and joy you feel, and also how thankful you are for Andy because he reminded you that life isn’t over, and it’s worth living. And even these small moments make it all the better. It doesn’t matter that the fort in the living room created a huge mess and is left abandoned. What matters is the almost musical noise your children make for this day.

This will be the last day that they’re this old. Tomorrow they’ll be a day older, but right now this is your slice of heaven for the day. Everyone ends up in a pile in the living room on top of the discarded couch cushions. Breathless and still laughing. “Can Andy have dinner with us every night?”

“Chess!” Andy shrugs, smiling over at you.

“It is kinda lonely in my condo. It’s hard to cook for one. But…if it is a hassle, maybe we can just do it twice a week,” Audrey and Suede protest. Practically begging you to say yes to every night. There’s a lot to think about. Scott got them every other Friday until Sunday afternoon.

“I’m — yeah, w-w-we can figure this out. And now! It’s time to wash up for quiet time,” there’s a soft objection, but you straighten up. “And we’ve got to put the cushions back. Come on. It’ll be bedtime before we know it, and you guys have school tomorrow.”

—

Walking down the hallway, you smile, still seeing Andy sitting on the couch. He scrolls through his phone, until your figure blocks out the light, he glances up. Putting down his phone, he gives the couch a few taps with his hand. Smiling, you saunter towards him.

Sitting too far away for his liking, so he pulls you closer to him. Those deep blue eyes staring right into the depths of your soul. Beating down the walls that you swore you had painstakingly built up. Telling yourself it would just be you and them. “They’re great.”

“It’s because it was a good night.”

“With a happy mama,” bashfully you look away from him, but he pulls your chin up, making you look at him. “I don’t want to insert myself where I’m not wanted. You hesitated with me being here every night. So be honest, do you not want me here or is it your fear?”

“My fear,” he solemnly nods. “And Scott.”

“I don’t care about him.”

“I can tell. You get all tense when he’s brought up,” the fist his hand is making relaxes. “He’ll always be a part of my life. Those babies are half of him. And while I don’t like him, I won’t bad mouth him, not to them. You neither.”

He exhales. It’s long and drawn out. Too dramatic to be real, but he pulls you even closer. Your legs that were curled into your body, he brings over his lap, and he smooths his hand over your thigh. “I won’t bad mouth him to them. But you also need to vent sometimes. I don’t want a relationship where we talk about him nonstop. I don’t want him in our relationship, unless necessary. Tonight was nice. It was us. All of us. And he was a non-factor.”

“So what is happening between us?” Picking up your hand, he compares sizes. Ghosting his finger over yours before he circles your ring finger. And you stutter. That fear creeping back up because there’s no way he is meaning what you think he is, “Andy?”

“I’m going to marry you. I told you then, and I’m telling you now. Maybe not in a month or a year. But I will marry you. I meant what I said earlier. This is your pace. I’ve waited and waited, and I have you back, and I’ll wait more if I have to. But, I really should call an Uber.”

“You should,” you lean in closer. So close there’s only whispers between you. “Dinner tomorrow?” Moving your lips causes them to brush against his.

“Yeah,” he answers, and you can’t respond as the gap completely closes. These kisses aren’t needy, they’re so sweet. Gentle pecks that turn more lingering, and you pull away. “One more, and I’ll have a car pick me up.”

“Okay,” you make this kiss deeper. Pulling him into you by his shirt, and his strong arms wrap you up even tighter. Holding you like you are going to escape him again. Life has taken you a different path than you thought, and yet you still hold all this love for him. Things are different, they’re adult now with adult problems. But in his arms feels right. You don’t want to fight it. You want to embrace it through the fear.

His arms always give you so much comfort. Like the way he holds you can stop the world from spinning and you can live in a moment of no noise, no movement, just peace. Being in a bubble with him has always felt so right. “Andy,” you breathlessly say, pulling apart.

Literally having to push on his chest to get air. “I’m sorry,” his head tilts to the side, giving you an inquisitive look. “You waited, and I didn’t.”

“If you didn’t wait, you wouldn’t have Audrey and Suede. I’m not sorry,” smiling, he picks up his phone. Scheduling a pick up before returning to look at you. “You’re a package deal. And I like it all. This life is what I wanted with you, and I’ll have it.”

“You’ve always been so cock sure.”

He hisses, leaning back into the couch as he clicks on the tv, “With a cock like mine, and being able to pull those sounds out of your body, yeah.”

“Oh, stop it,” you playfully smack at him, before laying your head on his shoulder, and just basque in his warmth. Settling on him like he belongs here with you. Getting in one sitcom episode before turning in for the night. Having him here to help with the kids, the household chores, but to have him as your best friend. And your constant.

“You know, you don’t have to be so calm and controlled with me, right?” His hand rubs over your ass, almost trying to push you into his lap instead of just leaning on him. “I can be your calm, too.”

“I know, Doe,” and you know he really means, but I’m the protector. That part of him is never going to change. So you just embrace it. Embrace that your divorce led you right where you needed to be. Yes, it sucked. Yes, it hurt. You wanted to hit him. Wanted Scott to hurt the way you did, but now you see the silver lining. You see Andy.

Next

Masterlist

Taglist: @tis-thedamn-season @marveloustaylortot @pono-pura-vida @peaches1958 @seitmai

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[syntheticavenger]

On My Mama - Two

Thank you to @cocobutterqwueen for the support while I was trying to map out this second chapter!

Santiago 'Pope' Garcia x Female Reader

Tyler Rake x Female Reader

Andy Barber x Female Reader

Jax Teller x Female Reader

Word Count: 6.2K

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, language, more angst, jealousy, a lot of male posturing, persuasiveness.

Summary | Being a single mom with a complicated relationship with your ex-husband makes for an interesting summer after a school event and an unexpected errand puts you front and center with some eligible contenders for your attention.

True to Jax’s word, you’re in and out in less than fifteen minutes, happy to leave Melanie as she gave you a polite but pointed stare when you tried once more to pay him. He wouldn’t have it, slipping you his card in case you needed anything else, his cell written on the back. Not wanting to get in between Melanie’s distraction, there’s nothing left to say but to lobby another gracious thank you his way and slip into the driver’s seat. 

You found out much more than you ever wanted to in those short moments, Melanie whispering in your ear whenever he was out of earshot every detail that she had gathered about him. A single father to a son, a seven-year-old named Abel, rumored to be part of a biker gang – Vice President, Melanie had told you dramatically, her eyelashes batting when she says it like a secret – and more importantly, the best mechanic she’s ever had. 

Nevermind that her husband doesn’t particularly like that she takes her car to get repaired here, a fact she reminded you about at least three times. Melanie’s daughter tells every single bit of her mother’s business and Mia, at her young age, parrots it right back to you, laughing when you sometimes widen your eyes at the somewhat scandalous details, such as when Melanie bought store bought cookies and passed them off as her own, telling her daughter to stay quiet.

But as you had learned, there was no such thing as a secret to a five-year-old.

🌤

The late 90’s music blares through the speakers, pushing your cart down the aisle to continue your search  for marinara sauce. School nights are hard to plan for, especially with Mia’s ever changing appetite. 

This week it’s all about pasta, opting for spaghetti for dinner, even as you feel a small wave of guilt for the vegetables you will puree in the sauce. Reaching for a jar, a familiar face catches your attention, Laurie Barber giving you a wave when she approaches.

You know Laurie well enough to know that she has some gossip to share, usually between her and Melanie trading stories during field trips or snack day rotation.

“How have you been?” she asks, a hint of mischief in her smile. “I’m so happy I ran into you.”

“Oh?” you reply, noticing that she looks around before she finally speaks to make sure the coast is clear.

“You didn’t tell me your ex came to the parents’ lunch,” Laurie accuses playfully. “I had to find out from pictures?”

“Pictures?” you repeat, Laurie nodding her head, digging her phone out of her purse. 

“Of course there are pictures! I’d seen him with Mia when you had pictures of him with her as a baby but holy hell, that man is handsome,” Laurie praises, showing you a photo of Mia in Santiago’s arms, both of them looking intently at a finger painting. “Him being at the school is a good sign, right?”

“I don’t know,” you mumble, Laurie slipping her phone into the pocket of her pants. “It’s a start.”

“Still not on the mend, huh?”

“We’re divorced, Laurie. There’s no going back.”

“Don’t I know it,” she agrees. “It’s been at least three years since Andy and I divorced and I never look back. We got a great kid out of it and Andy’s moving on up in the world and he’s up for pretty big promotion.”

“Andy? That’s great.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t see him. He saw you,” Laurie teases, seeing you shake your head in response.

Every single mother throws themselves at Andy Barber.

You aren’t one of them.

“I guess I must have missed him,” you reply, Laurie shrugging her shoulders.

“You know Andy. I wish he wasn’t married to his work that much so he could get out and see the world, maybe date a nice girl who understands that sense of righteousness that he can’t seem to shake.”

“It’s nice that you’re on good terms.”

“Are you and Santiago not?”

“No,” you say quickly, hating that you feel like you’re now put on the spot. “I mean, we’re good, I guess. I was surprised that he wanted to see the school, he’s pretty much been against her going to public school since before she could even talk.”

“Avon Academy isn’t close to being terrible. He’s always had impossibly high standards, hasn’t he? Didn’t he go to a boarding school in Switzerland?”

“He did. If he had his way that is probably where our daughter would be right now.”

“Alone?” Laurie says incredulously. “She’s five!”

“No, not alone. I’d most likely be in some apartment in Zurich, trying to keep myself busy.”

“Sounds like a dream.”

“It’s lonely,” you respond, Laurie nodding, realizing that you aren’t willing to give up more details.

“Well, selfishly, I’m glad you and Mia are here. I’m also thankful for Santiago for gracing us with his presence.”

You crack a smile then, Laurie trying to contain her laughter as you both laugh. It’s absurd to discuss anything regarding your ex-husband but you know that Laurie is a safe space for you and that little bit of relief is what you need.

“Speaking of hot dads, Melanie told me you got your tire fixed. Jax Teller, huh?”

“Oh, God,” you mutter, running a hand down your face. “She really tells everything, doesn’t she?”

“Your fault for giving her a ride. Come on, don’t be shy.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Well, I’ve seen him like once and he wasn’t even on a motorcycle. He showed up in a truck to pick up his son.”

“Abel is seven, Laurie.”

“Still disappointing,” Laurie reminds you. “Barely got to see him up close and personal.”

“He’s nice.”

Laurie lets out an inelegant snort at your response.

“Nice? Nice is my neighbor across the way who wears a cardigan and a polo shirt and offers to water my lawn. Jax Teller is not nice. He looks like he could rail you into next week and send you off with a pat on the -”

“Laurie!” you admonish, hearing her laugh.

“I’m kidding but also,” she trails off, tapping the tip of her nose. “You know it’s true.”

Laurie’s cell goes off in her purse, picking up her basket.

“Shit, it’s Andy,” she mutters. “Probably needs me to pick up Jacob. I’ll see you at Jacob’s birthday party. Can’t wait to have a slice of your homemade cake!”

With a nod, she rounds the corner, speaking quickly while you add a box of noodles to the cart when you realize what she told you.

Birthday party?

Birthday cake?

🌤

“You said what?” you ask softly, Mia chewing as she hums.

“I said you could make Jacob’s birthday cake,” Mia offers proudly.

Placing your fork down on your plate, you stare at the wrinkled birthday party invitation that you had to dig through Mia’s unicorn backpack.

“Sweetheart, remember we talked about this? You ask Mommy first.”

“I did,” Mia insists, a smear of marinara at the corner of her lips. “You made mine when I asked.”

“Yes, you asked me to make yours. You did not ask me to make Jacob’s.”

Her little face scrunches up in displeasure at your hesitation, swallowing her food before she defends herself.

“But you’re good at it! Jacob’s daddy said you make the best cake in the whole world!”

“Mia,” you warn, seeing her little shoulders slump.

“No cake?” she asks pitifully, her lower lip trembling. “Please, Mommy? It’s his birthday. He has to have cake.”

“I don’t even know what flavor he likes.”

“He likes banilla!”

“Vanilla,” you correct gently.

“Vanilla and he likes vanilla frosting,” she enunciates. “He told me so.”

With a sigh, you get up, Mia following suit, nearly on your heels when you check the pantry to make sure you have everything you need.

“You’re going to make it?!” she asks, clapping her hands together excitedly. “You’re the best mommy in the whole world!”

“I’ll make it if you promise to finish your dinner.”

Mia gasps, running back to her chair as she climbs up, ignoring your warning for her to wait for you to help her, slurping spaghetti into her mouth.

“We gotta get a gift,” Mia reminds you, as if she didn’t just tell you last minute. “He likes cars.”

“We’ll go tomorrow after school, how does that sound?”

“Okay.”

She finishes her food, watching as you pick her empty plate up from the table, remembering her manners as she wipes her sauce coated fingers with a napkin.

“May I be scused?”

“You may,” you agree, seeing her jump off the chair as it slides backward slightly, nearly giving you a heart attack when she bolts up the stairs.

“Don’t forget to brush your teeth!” you call out, hearing her slam the bathroom door.

Pulling out a mixing bowl, you start adding in the ingredients, hearing Mia singing loudly at the top of her lungs.

🌤

You have to hand it to Laurie.

The woman knows how to throw a birthday party. As if directly ripped from a Pinterest page, you and Mia walk through a blue and silver balloon, Laurie’s headband green with alien googly eyes that move back and forth when she hugs Mia.

“Jacob’s out back,” she tells Mia, holding out a pair of headbands – one like hers and another that is hot pink with the same eyes but with lashes. Mia plucks the hot pink ones from her hand, handing them to Laurie so that she can place them on her head, smoothing out her hair before she does so, both of you knowing that she’ll either lose it or break it by the end of the day.

Laurie spies the cake you hold, the piping in blue with an astronaut on the left.

“God, I love your cakes,” Laurie murmurs with glee, taking it from your hands. “I was so happy that Mia said you would do it because I was at my wit’s end with him and trying to make up his mind. First it was a western themed party and then it was a dinosaur party and finally, at the very last minute, he wanted a space party. Gotta love the indecisiveness.”

She looks at your green sundress, settling on your white Mary Janes.

“Finally,” Laurie teases. “You got smart and finally wore flats.”

You were never sure of a dress code, especially with a child’s party. Every party in the city that you attended, kid or not, you were dressed up, right down to the sky high heels. After the last birthday party, you’d gotten wise once your heels had sunk into the grass, leaving a stain that you couldn’t get out.

You pass a contingent of parents, mostly fathers, talking in a huddle, beers in hand while you follow her into the kitchen.

“Andy will be so thrilled that you made a cake. I swear he kept asking. Do you know those peppermint brownies you made last Christmas? He took half the pan home and -”

“I did not,” Andy denies, his gaze settling on the cake when he steps into the kitchen. “Well, well, well. Looks like Jacob got his wish after all.”

You forgot how handsome Andy Barber is up close and personal, his mischievous smile on display when Laurie rolls her eyes.

“Jacob got his wish,” Laurie repeats to you, moving behind you after she sets the cake down. “I’m going to check on the bounce house. Make sure he doesn’t take a slice before the birthday boy, hmm?”

She’s out of your line of sight before you even have a chance to answer, Andy opening the fridge, pulling out a beer before he pauses.

“Do you drink?” he asks cautiously.

“I do.”

Still holding the beer in his hand, he glances at the pitcher on the top shelf.

“Beer or what I think may be a cosmopolitan. Laurie always has some sort of signature drink for these types of things.”

“I’ll take a beer,” you offer, Andy placing it into your hand after lobbing off the cap.

“Good choice. Last time we had a mom who downed three Tom Collins before she realized what hit her.”

You don’t dare share that you’re a lightweight, taking a swig of your beer while Andy leans back against the counter.

“I saw you at the parent luncheon, didn’t I?”

“I was there,” you confirm.

“That lunch was something else,” Andy comments, making a face. “I thought Jacob was teasing when he mentioned glue. Turns out the kid was onto something.”

“Glue?”

“You didn’t try the sandwiches?”

“No,” you say, trying to stifle your laughter at the look of pure disgust on his face. “I’m sure we’ll get a letter of an apology like we did with the dirt pudding cups last year.”

“I must have missed that.”

“You’d remember,” you point out, suddenly feeling self-conscious when you notice his eyes lingering on you. “What?”

He straightens up, looking over your shoulder, his index finger moving in a circle.

“Turn around?” he asks, your eyes narrowing suspiciously as you turn, seeing the ties of your dress float around you.

“Shoot,” you mumble, placing your beer down to try to reach behind you.

“I can help you,” he offers, keeping still when you feel his hands pick up the fabric, carefully drawing them together, the warmth of his breath on your back as he checks to make sure you’re comfortable. “Too tight?”

“No,” you respond, feeling him tie it quickly, the faint scent of his cologne lingering as he ties it slowly, your eyes looking up at the ceiling, staying still, feeling the slight tug of the bows before you feel him step back to look in approval.

“Better.”

“Thank you,” you mumble, feeling embarrassment wash over you when he waves your appreciation away.

“I was hoping I didn’t touch you with cold hands,” he answers. “Or get into your personal space.”

“I didn’t feel a thing.”

“No comment about the personal space?”

He smiles, lifting his beer to you before taking a sip. 

“Seriously though? Thanks for the cake for Jacob,” Andy thanks you, nodding toward the cake. “This kid hasn’t stopped talking about it once he found out. I gotta admit, they’re pretty damn good. I don’t know what you put in them but I can’t just have one slice.”

“I do the buttercream by hand.”

“Really? Tastes like heaven, that’s for sure. Not sure what you do for a living but if you made that career, I’m just you’d make a fortune.”

“Project manager,” you say, Andy nodding in response. “Wish I had the time. Baking relaxes me.”

“I’d be happy to eat your cake anytime,” he says, trailing off when he realizes what he’s said, laughing to himself as your eyes widen, biting down on your lips at the comment to keep from laughing yourself, when you hear Laurie coming back inside. Eyeing the cake, she looks up at you, turning to Andy.

“Cake is still intact. Guess she distracted you enough.”

🌤

Pete nudges Tyler in the side when you pass by, herding a small group of Jacob’s friends outside who were late arrivals, Laurie calling out to them outside to get their gift bags.

“You’re a married man, Pete,” Tyler reminds him.

“And I wouldn’t trade it for the world, but I have eyes, you know,” Pete counters. “Judging by the rest of us gawking, we all have eyes.”

Tyler can see Hunter running, playing tag with the other kids as they laugh and scream. He catches a glimpse of you, beer in hand as he sees Andy next you and Laurie. It’s a scene he’s still getting used to, seeing Laurie and Andy divorced but still cordial. It’s wistful thinking to believe he could have the same, knowing that the shared custody took years to be processed.

“Does Barber know that Mia’s dad is back in the picture?” another father asks, raising an eyebrow at the sight outside. “Bold move, Andy. Right next to your ex-wife.”

“He never left,” another man chimes in. “Look at her. You really think he wasn’t that far behind? Surprised he showed up, he never comes to these things.”

“Reconciliation,” Pete says with a confident nod.

“He came because it was a special occasion,” Tyler points out, the men turning to look at him.

“How do you know? She told you?”

“Hunter knows Mia through school, and she told him that her father was going to be there because it was important.”

“So, he’s still out of the picture,” one of them hints.

“I don’t hear any of you offering to step up and take care of his child so unless you’re willing to break up your marriages or take on another responsibility, you’re all creeping on a single mother who doesn’t know that you’re looking at her. Excuse me,” Tyler responds, breaking away from the group as he heads outside.

🌤

“Honey, it’s alright,” you say softly, holding onto the boy’s arms gently to keep him steady after he was dropped off unceremoniously on the door step. “It’s alright. You don’t need a gift, okay? Your gift is that you’re here. Your presence is enough, I promise.”

Tyler peers over to look at the boy who is nodding, wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. 

Abel Teller.

No doubt his mother had dropped him off without a word, a far cry from his father, Jax, who would have come in to say hello. He would have most certainly provided a gift, even though it wasn’t required, seeing Abel shake his head when he’s asked a question.

“What’s your name?” Tyler hears you ask, soothing him as you dab at his tears that slide down his cheeks. 

“Abel.”

“Hi Abel,” you respond, introducing yourself. “Jacob’s outside. I’m sure he’ll be happy you’re here. Are you ready to go in and have some fun?”

He sniffles, nodding his head when Tyler clears his throat.

“Hunter’s here as well, Abel,” Tyler speaks up. “They’re playing tag, I think. You like that game, don’t you? Why don’t you come with me? They’re still in the thick of it.”

Abel’s eyes light up at the game, following Tyler to the boisterous crowd of children. A few of them recognize him, calling out to him before he leaves Tyler’s side. He can feel you standing next to him, your gaze settling on your daughter who is climbing up the ladder to the slide.

“You know him?” you ask, Tyler nodding as Abel takes off running.

“Yeah,” Tyler says after a pause. “He’s a good kid. His mother… she’s not always present. Father does what he can but when it’s her weeks to take him, it gets a little complicated.”

“I can’t imagine.”

He can hear the uncertainty in your tone, your fingers gripping your beer bottle tighter. He can tell you’re thinking about Abel and before it can go deeper, he nods at the beer in your hand.

“Need another one?”

At his question, you look at him in confusion before he smiles. You’ve been nursing that same beer since he’s seen you, absentmindedly ripping at the wrapper with your nail when no one is looking, a nervous habit that he finds adorable.

“I’m good,” you answer. “Thanks though.”

“How’s it taste?”

You look up at him, unsure of why he’s asking by the way you raise an eyebrow.

“Great,” you tell him, forcing cheerfulness into your confirmation.

He laughs then, seeing how stubborn you are. 

“Never met a woman who liked room temperature beer. You’re one of a kind.”

He sees you smile then, nodding at your lie.

“It tastes terrible,” you admit with a laugh. “But I was running around and by the time I got back to it, I didn’t want to ask for another one. It’s like coffee. I end up reheating it at least four times because I don’t have the time to finish it in one sitting.”

“I can get you another one, you know. No pressure, of course,” Tyler says, putting up his hands.

“I would like one,” you tell him, placing the bottle in his outstretched hand. “Thank you.”

“Thought so. I’ll be right back.”

Mia stops mid run to wave at you, grinning wide when you wave back, taking off after Hunter and Abel when Tyler hands you a beer.

“Thank you,” you say, looking back at the kids when Laurie gives you a pleading look, motioning with her hand that the cake needs to be cut.

“Shall we?” Tyler says.

Laurie calls out to Jacob, the kids lifting their heads so quickly that it reminds Tyler of meerkats, nearly a stampede as the dads remind them to slow down as they head toward the table.

🌤

Forks clink dully on the paper plates, frosting smudging on faces and clothing, moms swooping in to wipe mouths and clean off messes. Mia sits between Hunter and Abel, picking up a buttercream star and eating it, eyes closing in bliss as she dances in her seat.

Collecting discarded plates, you nearly run into Andy, who holds out a trash bag for you to toss them in.

“They’ll sleep good tonight,” Andy assures you, seeing the trio run into the house. “And I know I said this already but the cake… you just knocked it out of the park. Amazing.”

“Thank you, Andy.”

Between the number of kids and adults moving around you both, you focus on cleaning up the leftover cups of juice and water while Andy picks up the plates, working together in unison. 

You don’t really know the ins and outs of his and Laurie’s former relationship, only that they seem to have the co-parenting thing down to a science, no ill will, just a simple partnership that works well for them. Without meaning to, your mind wanders to if they sleep together, much like you and Santiago, watching his tongue run over his lip as he focuses the tower of plates in his hand to the trash.

You blink the impending thought out of your mind. It definitely isn’t any of your business and it only makes you more embarrassed that you have no self-control with Santiago.

Which is only half-true. You’ve been cordial when he asks about Mia, sending him pictures of her at the birthday party.

And you’ve conveniently ignored his text from the picture with you and Mia under the balloon arch.

Nice dress.

“Seriously though,” Andy says, any hint left of Santiago disappearing in a flash as he smiles at you. “Thanks for coming and helping. Laurie couldn’t do this without you, and I know I couldn’t clean this up alone. Crazy how people love coming to parties but when it’s time to clean… it’s suddenly time to go home.”

“I’m still here, Barber,” Tyler interrupts, holding up a trash bag. “Did you forget about the poppers with the streamers in them? They’re everywhere.”

“When Laurie throws a party, she goes all out, I told you,” Andy informs him.

Laurie stands, rubbing her lower back with her fingers when the doorbell rings. The small clean-up crew continues on, tidying up before the vendors come and finish up. A soft whisper of your name from Laurie makes you move away from the Andy and Tyler, both of them engaged in sports talk.

Hunter and Mia are asleep on one side of the large sectional, Jacob laid out in the middle and Abel on the other side. Standing in the entryway, Jax zeroes in on his son before he engages in a hushed conversation with Laurie for a moment, both of them turning their attention on you when you approach.

“Sorry,” Laurie says, frustration in her voice as she gives you a small squeeze of your hand. “I’m going to send Abel home with a gift bag. Would you mind showing Jax where he is?”

Jax gives you a glance when you give him a smile, hearing him sigh behind you.

“Sorry to come so late,” he says in a hushed voice as he looks on at the sleeping kinds. “Got word last minute that my ex wasn’t going to pick up Abel and I was doing a double at the shop.”

“He’s been fine,” you assure him, watching as he carefully picks up his son without waking him, brushing back his hair as he focuses on his son’s face for a moment. It’s a tender moment, one that you don’t pay attention to for too long, unsure of what to say. You can feel the anger radiating off of him, muttering to himself as he places a kiss on Abel’s head.

“We’re going home, buddy,” he says, Abel’s eyes opening for a scant second before closing once more.

Laurie meets you at the door with Abel’s gift bag, Jax extending his hand to you as you shake it, Laurie giving him a hug, careful not to wake Abel.

“You know he’s welcome here anytime,” Laurie tells him, the sliding glass door closing in the distance.

“I appreciate that, Mrs. Barber.”

“Laurie is fine, Jax. Do you have my number?”

When he shakes his head, Laurie has her phone in hand, waiting for Jax to recite his number.

“I’ll make sure she has it too,” Laurie promises, referring to you as he nods, giving you a hint of smile.

“Have a good night, sorry again for being so late to pick him up.”

Laurie closes the door after you both see Abel get settled into the truck, turning around to face Tyler and Andy.

“Teller?” Andy asks Laurie.

“The one and only.”

“Pity I missed that,” Andy murmurs. “I would have liked to ask him a few questions.”

“You leave your interrogations at work,” Laurie fires back softly, keeping her voice down. “He’s a father doing his job.”

“Oh, he’s got a job, alright.”

Tyler checks his watch, heading toward the couch where he looks over the remaining sleeping kids. You follow suit, your cell phone vibrating in your purse that is on a chair.

“Need some help?” Tyler asks, Laurie and Andy still in the foyer, their hushed voices a cue that he’s not ready to let whatever he knows about Jax Teller go.

“Actually,” you pause for a moment, looking at how peaceful Mia looks. “I think I’ll take you up on that.”

He’s gentle when he scoops her into his arms, cradling her to his chest as Mia doesn’t move, her breathing steady as he carries her toward the door.

“Not everything has to be investigated, Andy. Sometimes people can make mistakes and learn from them,” Laurie says, her words fading out when she sees Tyler holding Mia.

“I hope my spirited debate with Andy didn’t scare you away,” Laurie says, shooting Andy a glare. ‘We differ on justice and knowing when to pick our battles.”

Andy stays silent, his eyes locking with yours.

“Thanks again for today,” he says, Laurie nodding in agreement. “Get home safe.”

Tyler waits until you collect your purse, hug Laurie goodbye and give Andy a quick hug, inhaling the scent of his cologne once more that is intoxicating. Underneath that Henley, you realize there is a solid wall of muscle, something you weren’t expecting to feel before you head out the door and down the steps, opening the backseat for Tyler to place Mia in her car seat. Her head falls back on the headrest, still fast asleep when you close the door, checking to see if the movement woke her.

“Thank you,” you tell him softly, waving to Laurie, who is standing in the doorway.

“Don’t mention it. It’s the least I can do.”

Warmth radiates off of him, trying to get the picture of how quickly he had lifted Mia into his arms so smoothly out of your mind.

“I was thinking,” Tyler says, looking over behind you to see Mia still asleep. “If you’re interested, maybe you’d like to go to dinner with me.”

It’s finally cool now that the sun has gone down but your face is warm, nearly burning with anxiety on what to say. You haven’t been asked out on a date since your ex, let alone even entertaining the thought if you were ever asked.

But now you have been asked and you need to give an answer.

You only get one chance at this.

“Sure,” you reply. “I’d like that.”

“Great,” he says. “I can give you my number. There’s no pressure, of course, if you find that you want to cancel or that you’re not interested then let me know and -”

You recite your number, Tyler realizing almost too late as he punches in the number, sending you a text.

“Get home safe and uh, just let me know when you’re interested in going. My schedule is pretty open this week and next.”

You see Andy standing next to Laurie, both of them waiting until you get into the car, turning on the lights and the engine starting before they take a step back into the house. Easing out of the parking spot, you see Tyler heading back inside to presumably get Hunter, text messages popping up on the screen during your drive home.

Birthday party? Is that why you’re all dressed up?

Need a favor.

I’ll be there in an hour.

At the last message, you look at the timestamp when you pull over. The time is nearly ten and the message was sent almost an hour ago. With Mia still fast asleep, you take the quickest way home, unsure if he’s already beat you there.

🌤

Pulling into the garage, you see him leaning against his SUV, your resolve hanging on by a thread.

He never visits at night. Always morning, always in between meetings or a flight, or some appointment.

When the car is turned off, you hear the back door open, looking over as he studies Mia’s sleeping face.

“Out like a light,” he murmurs, smoothing back her hair. “She must have partied hard.”

“What are you doing here?” you ask quietly, his dark eyes snapping up to look at you.

“You didn’t get my texts? Got a late flight out tomorrow, Derek was able to charter it at the local airport, so I figured I’d come and see my girls.”

He unlatches Mia from her car seat, careful when he lifts her into his arms while you get out of the car. In a way, it feels like this should be a snapshot or normalcy, domestic life that you had a taste of once that had been snatched away without having properly processed what had transpired before it was too late.

The promise you had made to yourself still lingers in the depths of your thoughts, propelling you forward when you open the door, letting Santiago carry Mia across the threshold, heading up the stairs slowly while you watch him disappear.

It would be so easy to fall into the same routine. To have him share your bed, to give and give as he takes, lusty promises against your skin that he doesn’t intend to keep because he knows you well enough that you won’t hold him to it.

Placing Mia’s gift bag on the kitchen island counter, you know you could follow him, let his lips trace a line down your neck.

Picking up your phone, you send off a text, heart skipping a beat at what you’ve done. For a moment, you don’t think there will be a reply.

Your answer comes swiftly, Santiago coming down the stairs.

I’m glad you made it home safe.

🌤

Santiago follows you up the stairs, your silk robe billowing out behind you.

“I liked the pictures,” he tells you once you reach the top of the stairs. “I’ve always loved the color green on you.”

“Why are you really here?” you ask, turning around to face him. His shirt is half unbuttoned, revealing a hint of the chest tattoo.

“I told you,” Santiago reminds you. “I wanted to see my girls.”

“Since when?”

He leans against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest when he narrows his gaze.

“Since I saw the pictures you sent me. You’ve always held people’s attention. A child’s birthday party is no different.”

“I wasn’t sending them to you to make you jealous.”

He smirks at your passionate denial.

“And I’m not jealous. I know every inch of your body, every little nook and cranny that makes you come apart. They don’t know you the way I do so no,” Santiago says with a sigh. “I don’t think you were trying to make me jealous, but I think you’re lonely. I think the men in that picture know it too, judging the way they were staring..”

“I’m not.”

He gives you that perfect smile, looking you up and down.

“We both know how this always ends. We’re good for each other. Maybe not emotionally but physically, we’re compatible and we always have been. There’s no one else I would have wanted to have my child, to be the mother of my precious daughter. I can’t get enough of you still.”

He pushes himself off of the wall, settling his hands on either side of your face, your fingers wrapping around his wrists. It feels euphoric, his lips close to yours, body pressed against you, and it feels familiar, like you aren’t living separate lives when he kisses you.

“I can’t,” you whisper against his mouth, his forehead resting against yours.

“You can. I’ll take care of you like I always do.”

Your hand flattens on his chest, feeling his heartbeat when you close your eyes. You want to, you already know how it would end, tangled in sheets and alone when you wake.

Satisfied but alone, yet again.

“I can’t sleep with you anymore. This isn’t healthy for either of us. You can have the guest bedroom,” you answer, moving away from him as he lets you go.

“Guest bedroom,” he repeats, seeing you head toward your bedroom. “I’ll leave the door open if you need me.”

Closing the door behind you, you lean against it, squeezing your eyes shut as you ignore the ache between your thighs.

🌤

Sun shines in your eyes, startling you when you toss away the blanket, looking down to find yourself still clothed, clad in your shorts and t-shirt. The sigh of relief that flows from your lips gives you a sense of calm, nearly laughing to yourself that you had the willpower to deny the man who you’ve willingly given your body to after the divorce.

The savory scent of breakfast hangs in the air, scrambling to get up when you look at the time. It’s well past the time you had meant to wake up, running down the stairs to stop in your tracks.

Santiago cracking another egg in the bowl while Mia carefully picks out pieces of fruit to place them on a tray. Bacon, pancakes and oatmeal is on the table, something you haven’t had the time to make in at least six months with Mia’s busy school schedule.

“Oh, you’re finally up,” Santiago greets you, Mia dropping a strawberry on the counter as she hops off the step, running after you when she clings to your legs.

“Hi Mommy! Daddy and I are making breakfast!” Mia announces loudly, standing on her tiptoes to see what her father is doing. “I want an o-mel-le.”

“Omelet,” Santiago corrects gently, Mia nodding.

“Yeah, one of those!” Mia agrees.

Santiago cleans as he works, wiping off a counter before he checks on the omelet he’s making for Mia. 

A ripple of resentment goes through you at the thought of what this means. He and Mia always make breakfast together when it’s his week with her. It’s something Mia looks forward to when she’s packing her suitcase to see her father, knowing that the best you and Mia can do is a rushed breakfast of toast or instant waffles.

Father of the beginning of the day, you think, sitting at the table after Mia points to your chair, Santiago placing a glass of orange juice in front of you.

“Breakfast is almost done,” he reminds you. “Coffee?”

Before you have a chance to answer, a mug of hot coffee is placed next to the orange juice, Mia giggling when he turns back to the stove, flipping the omelet over as she claps her hands excitedly.

Mia whispers to her father, the hushed discussion reaching you. Curious, Mia covers her mouth when she sees you staring.

“Secrets don’t make friends,” you tease her gently.

“We’re going on a tour!” Mia blurts out, Santiago plating her omelet, holding it high above her head.

“A what?” you ask, Santiago placing her plate down and lifting Mia onto the chair.

“A tour,” Santiago repeats.

“I heard her,” you protest, Mia grabbing her fork as she stabs into her breakfast. “A tour where?”

Santiago sits across from you, Mia focused on shoving a piece of fruit in her mouth as he looks at the breakfast spread and back to you.

“We’re touring St. Mary’s today.”

[hansensgirl]

summary. | Your professor helps you recover from a drunken night out.

prompts. | Andy Barber + Professor + “Take you home? This is home. You aren’t going anywhere.” + Finger-sucking, requested by Anonymous.

pairing. | dark!professor!Andy Barber x fem!reader.

warnings. | NON/DUBCON, power imbalance, professor/student relationship, mild drugging (pills), drinking (night before), hangover, praise kink, age gap, pet names, finger-sucking, kidnapping (?), and more. 18+ MINORS DNI!

author’s note. | this is a part of my Dark Concepts (2023) request form. thank you for taking part in this event! please enjoy and don’t forget to reblog. MINORS DNI, 18+ ONLY! taglist: @hansensfics.

You slowly come to, your head pounding. You blink until the blurriness leaves your vision, which takes quite some time. You feel disgusting, as though there are weights pulling you down.

When you look around, you realize you aren’t in your room. You’re startled, sitting up quickly, but you soon regret the action when your head begins to spin. You lean on the mattress for support and scoot upwards, resting against the bedhead.

This can’t be a frathouse—it’s too nice, too personal. You try to think back to last night, when you went out with classmates you considered friends, until they ditched you, leaving you on the curbside drunk and alone.

A familiar baritone fills your memories—Professor Barber. You remember being puzzled at the instructor’s presence at the bar, but you didn’t outright question him. Despite your insistence, he bought you a drink and complimented how you fared in his class, stating that your work was some of the best he had read.

You neglected to tell him about the nights you stressed about his exams and assignments. At least he was kind to you.

The rest of the night is a blur. You don’t recall how you got here, but you hope it wasn’t for a lame one-night stand. At that thought, you realize you don’t feel any kind of ache in your core.

The doorknob turns, and you look at where the sound comes from. The door opens gently, and in comes Professor Barber, carrying a tray of water, pills, and some toast. He smiles at you, even with the confusion written all over your face.

“Morning, sunshine,” he greets, placing the tray on the bedside table. You look for something in his appearance—regret, guilt, or an extra bounce in his step. Did something happen between you two? You feel nauseated at the thought of all the consequences that will follow.

Your head falls into your hands, and you groan, a pounding headache creeping up on you. 

“You alright?” Professor Barber asks, sitting on the bed. You involuntarily move your legs away, the idea of touching him too frightening. You nod your head. “Did we…?” you eventually speak up.

Your professor furrows his brows until he realizes what you’re getting at. “Oh, no, honey,” he smiles, placing a hand that is meant to be comforting on your knee. You exhale deeply, relieved. Professor Barber chuckles.

“Professor… I’m so sorry you have to see me like this. I’ll be out of your hair soon,” you promise, squeezing your eyes shut when the dizziness takes over. “Please, it’s Andy,” he requests. “O– Okay, Andy,” you repeat.

“And you don’t have to rush. In fact, I’d prefer it if you stayed here—you had a rough night,” Andy sighs. “Oh… Uh, what happened? And where am I?” you question.

“You’re at my place. Don’t worry, no campus scum to annoy you here,” he jokes. You force a smile. “You drank so much, and then your friends left with some guys. I found you crying on the curbside,” Andy tells you. 

You grimace. How did you manage to make such a fool of yourself in front of your professor? “So how did I get here?” you ask. “I drove you home,” Andy smiles. You nod, sort of absentmindedly. “I… Thank you so much, Andy. I really appreciate it,” you tell him honestly. Andy reaches a hand up to your face and uses his thumb to rub one of your cheeks. “You’re welcome, hon. How’s that hangover?” he asks. You freeze at his touch, but you don’t say anything. It would be rude, wouldn’t it?

“Oh, I’ve got a terrible headache,” you complain. The older man almost brightens at your words. “Here, take a pill,” he instructs, reaching for the bottle and popping it open. He shakes one out and hands it to you, along with the glass of water.

You take his offerings with thanks, downing the pill and the entire cup with ease. Andy grins when you hand it back to him. “Good girl,” the professor praises.

Then, his hand returns to your face again, this time dancing on your lips. “I know how stubborn you college kids can be,” he starts. “Just gotta make sure you took it.” Andy pushes two fingers past your lips, and he feels around your mouth, almost sensually. You don’t know what to do—freezing in shock. He strokes your tongue and the inside of your cheeks, secretly hoping you’ll suck on his digits like a really good girl. 

The professor is mildly disappointed when you don’t. Andy pulls his fingers out and wipes them on his sweatpants, giving you an approving smile. “You really are a good girl, huh?” he remarks. You awkwardly nod, looking down into your lap.

“Um… Do you think you could take me home, Andy?” you ask. “If not, that’s fine. I can just take an Uber,” you offer, looking back up at him. The older man’s face is serious, jaw clenched and eyes hard. You gulp thickly, scared.

“Take you home? This is home. You aren’t going anywhere,” he growls. You open your mouth to reason with him, worried you’ll further disrespect or anger Andy. But he holds a hand up, making the words dissolve on the tip of your tongue,

“You know, I think you need some rest,” he declares, standing up and taking the tray. He pauses, leaving the plate of toast behind, before continuing to leave. “No, Sir– Please, wait!” you exclaim, but he doesn’t listen.

“The sleeping pill will help you get some rest,” he explains, and you realize that you feel drowsy. But the pain in your head dulls, and you’re thankful for that. “We’ll have time to talk after, honey,” Andy promises, hand resting on the doorknob.

You’re not sure what to do, so you nod your head. Andy stares at you as he closes the door, hoping that when he returns, you’ll be much more obedient, just like how you were in his class. 

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Don't Speak 42

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, obsession, stalking, manipulation, reclusive behaviour, disordered eating, dissociation, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Reader is a reclusive loner who ventures down to the library on a simple mission. Her task is complicated by the man she meets there. (f!short!reader)

Character: librarian!Andy Barber

Note: Almost lost this chapter bc my computer went nuts.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you all. Take care. 💖

You hit delete chat in the conversation settings. You leave it just as blank as before and close out the app. Just like Dr. Kemp said to. He can’t be there right away but he has a better plan. You’re not good at those anyway.

All you have to do now is wait out Andy. He’ll be going to work come morning and you’ll be alone. Then you can take your things, the things that are really yours, and leave. Finally. You realise that’s exactly what you’ve been longing for. A way out.

The hard part is still ahead of you. Freedom is still just out of reach. You have to pretend that everything’s fine but you’re realising, you’ve been doing that for a while.

You shake off your nerves and roll the tears back behind your eyes. You can cry later. Even as your cheeks strain and your nose tingles, you resist. Not yet, not yet.

You finish tidying up the tablet, trying to leave it as you found it. With not much else than your drawings. You close the cover and bring it with you as you turn off the lights and head upstairs. You sop up the mess in the bathroom and leave it dark. 

You hesitate to approach the bedroom. You hear Andy’s snores, low and steady. Your skin crawls. You enter and put the tablet on the small side table where you charge it. You hang the damp robe and face the bed.

For the first time in your life, you want to hurt someone. You’re not afraid of being the one hurt. You really want to hit him and kick him and just let out your fury on him. You can’t and you won’t. You’re not who he told you you are. And you’re not strong enough for that. You’re still too small, too weak.

So you near the bed and climb under the covers. You move slowly as you pull the duvet to your chin. He snorts, making you wince, and sidles up behind you as he wraps his arm around you. You go rigid but fight through the ice that threatens to encase you. He can’t know, he can’t know.

“Mmm, where were you?”

“Couldn’t sleep. Had a bath,” you squeak, putting your hand over his. You want to rip him away but instead, you squeeze, holding him tighter. “Sorry.”

“Nmph,” he grumbles and nuzzles your crown, just as quickly drifting back into his rhythmic snores.

You exhale little by little. You close your eyes but just as quickly open again. You know you won’t sleep. You can’t. Not with him as good as on top of you. Not knowing what awaits you in the morning. But mostly, not with that needling guilt in the nape of your neck.

Amber.

You betrayed your own sister. You treated her like a villain. You demonised her. You ostracised her. You left her!

You don’t know if she can ever forgive you. You can’t blame her for that. Worse, you don’t think you’d let her forgive you. You don’t deserve it.

You feel brittle as you bite down on your cheeks. No crying, not yet, you remind yourself. For once, you have to do things right. You have to follow through. It’s up to you now.

🕊️

“I didn’t know you could make crepes,” Andy smiles as he cuts into the roll, compote fruit and syrup oozing out.

You do your best to mirror him, making a show of nibbling away at your own food.

“I found a recipe,” you tap your tablet, not far from you.

“That’s great. You’re… doing better.”

“I’m trying,” you assure him, “I hope it doesn’t make you late for work.”

“Hm? Oh, no, breakfast with you is worth it,” he pops a bit into his mouth and hums. You regret not spitting in it, repulsed by the thought when it came to you, but now, not so much.

He can sit there and lie to you. It makes it easier for you to do the same. He’s been lying this entire time. Making you feel like you’re a problem. A burden. No, you were a thing to be used. To be exploited. He never liked you, the girl he calls dove, he only liked what he could get out of you. And he got off on it.

He took Amber from you. He did that. Yes, you’re stupid for falling for it but he knew what he was doing. He lied to you. And you know exactly how he did it. 

He took all that therapy and twisted it around on you. You wonder why he even bothers with Dr. Kemp when he’s not trying to change. More than the narcissist he branded your sister, he’s a psychopath. You found that on the internet too.

Bitter, angry, hateful. You’ve never felt this way before. You’ve never truly loathed anyone. Not even your grandfather. His fists were nothing compared to Andy’s emotional battering.

“Well, don’t let it get too cold. They get gummy,” you force a smile, only fed by the thought of what comes after. Of what you’re going to do when he leaves.

Run.

🕊️

When Andy leaves, you’re in the kitchen tidying up. You left all the dishes in a stack to make a convincing show for him. You’ll be busy all day scouring the skillet and the fruit stuck to the inside of the pot, along with your plates and the cutlery. Oh and the mess you made of the counters.

The door closes but you don’t break your charade right away. You give it ten minutes. Fifteen, just to be sure. Then you tiptoe down the hall and look out the window. The tire tracks are already snowed over. 

You don’t hesitate. You’ve never been more certain of anything in your life. This is your chance. You spin and race upstairs. 

You search the closet and the dresser, everywhere for the bag you brought there. It’s gone. Along with all the clothes from your old life. All that was you. Andy took them along with everything else.

Whatever. You grab a few pieces of the more practical slant; turtlenecks, some leggings, a pair of jeans. Socks and underwear. You work quickly, with intent. Just enough to get out, not a lot. Not too much. As little as you can. You don’t want to keep too much that will remind you of this place.

You rush back downstairs after you change. You grab your tablet and message Dr. Kemp, the chat log still blank. You delete each message once he responds. You can’t be too careful.

‘He’s gone. When can you get here?’

His reply isn’t long; ‘ten minutes, been waiting a block away.’

‘I’ll be outside.’

You close the cover of the tablet and stare at it. You hover it over the countertop but stop yourself. No, you earned this. It’s yours. Andy never did pay you for the painting. Not in full.

You hug the tablet and go to retrieve the bag you found in the front closet. A tote bag with faded floral print. You don’t wonder where it came from. You don’t want to think too hard about him or this place. They’ll soon be long gone.

You pull on your boots and your coat. That’s all he’s left you of your former existence. You don’t suspect you would have them for much longer if you stay. You shudder and grip the fabric handles of the bag.

You open the front door and step out into the drift. The snow floats down in fluffy flakes. As you step off the porch, it collects on your lashes. You make slow progress, lifting your knees high as the unshoveled walk makes each step a task. As you come up to the curb, a distant rumble comes from down the avenue.

You shield your eyes against the steady snowfall and squint. You think it’s Dr. Kemp. You’re not sure. When you saw his car, it was dark and you were more focused on other things.

He rolls down the snow-carpeted road cautiously and pulls in the next driveway before turning around and coming up along the curb. He grins at you through the passenger window and the doors unlock with a loud thunk. You grab the handle and pull.

“Hey, sweetheart, I’m here. Everything’s gonna be okay.”

“Thanks, doctor, I… thank you. I…”

“You sounded scared, how could I say no?”

You nod and look over your shoulder at the house.

“Let me deal with Andy when the time comes,” he insists, “come on, it’s hell out here. Get in.”

You nod and haul your bag onto the floor ahead of you and put the tablet on top. You stop yourself before you release the device. You look at Dr. Kemp. He stares.

“You alright?” He asks.

“I forgot something,” you say as you let go of the tablet. “I’ll be right back.”

“Oh?”

“I’ll be two minutes,” you hold up as many fingers, “promise.”

“I trust you, sweetheart,” he assures with a smile, “I’ll be here.”

You take and breath and close the passenger door gently. You whip around and stumble back up the walk, stepping into the holes you left on your way out. You burst inside, not carrying for the melting snow you leave in your stead or the undone dishes, or anything about this place. There’s only one last thing that needs to be done.

You take the stairs two at a time as you complete your final chore. You barrel back down and don’t bother with a final goodbye as you head back out. For once, you feel accomplished. Like you’ve done something and you don’t give a heck what Andy feels.

You don’t look back, you just keep going. You falter but not from doubt, only the snow. You get back to the car and rip the door open, climbing in with a heave. You fall into the seat as you snap the door shut. You lean your head back and sigh.

“I’m ready to go now,” you say.

“Great,” he shifts into gear, “put your seat belt on, sweetheart, the roads are awful.”

You do as he says as you catch your breath. Your skin is buzzing from more than just the cold. You fold your hands as you try to settle your nerves. 

“Good girl,” Dr. Kemp praises, “we’ll be home soon.”

🕊️

It’s real once you walk through the front door. You look around at the home decor and nearly fall apart. The stringent, almost sterile walls of Andy’s house haunt you. It’s only then, with something to compare them to, that you realise how much you dreaded them. How much you despised them.

You look around and take in every inch. The brown leather bench beside the door, a tall coat rack on the other side of the entryway, a mat for your snow laden boots, and a runner rug with the honey coloured curlicues on a deeper shade of brown. There’s a faint smell of cedar in the air.

“Ann made up the guest room for you,” he says, “and the kids are at school so they shouldn’t be a bother.”

You stop short, your hands on the collar of your coat. You look at him, dull with shock. Your cheeks tremble as you gulp.

“Ann… your…”

“My wife, yeah,” he says coolly, “she’s excited to meet you.”

“She is?” You blink, “I uh…” your eyes flit all around, “I’m so sorry, this isn’t–”

“It’s fine,” he intones, “really. She understands how vulnerable some of them a safe space.”

It’s like a slap in the face. You don’t know what you expected or why you expected it. He’s your doctor, you’re his patient, a crazy person. How did you forget that?

You glance down at his hand, his left hand. There’s a gold ring on his finger. It wasn’t there before. Not in your sessions, not at Thanksgiving. Never. Why wasn’t he with his family during the holidays?

“I thought I heard the door,” a woman appears from the other end of the hall, “oh, this must be her.”

You bat your lashes, fighting to hold yourself together. Don’t cry yet. 

“Uh, hi,” you squeak as she struts down the hall.

“Hello, hon,” the tall blonde pulls you into a hug as you cower.

“Ann,” Kemp clears his throat.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, I forget–” she lets you go, “I didn’t scare you, did I?”

You only shake your head. Your eyes are dry and itchy. You can only look back at her before slowly glancing at Steve. Your cheeks twinge and your lips pinch. He never told you about her. Why would he?

You feel like your chest is empty. There’s an icy whirlwind inside of you, flowing through you, sending a shiver up your spine. This is the worst thing you've ever felt. What is it?

“Ann,” Kemp says, “she's had a long night.”

“Oh, of course, you take her up to the guest room,” she backs off, “you take your time, hon, do whatever you need to do.”

You nod and mouth a thank you, unable to get any noise out. She goes back the way she came and you turn, focusing on undoing your coat. What have you done?

“I guess I should've warned you, huh? What with your… issues,” he rubs the back of his neck. “Just let me know if it gets too crowded around here.”

“Okay,” you croak.

You bend to wiggle free of your boots. You don't know what to do. You just want to be alone.

He leads you through the house. Into a cozy front room and to a staircase curled up to the second floor. You follow behind him, the tote bag dangling from your grasp.

He opens a door as he faces you. You try to hide your emotions but you can barely keep from frowning. He rests his hand on the door frame.

“This is you. I'm down at the very end,” he points over his shoulder, “if you need anything…”

“I'm sorry.”

“Sorry? For…”

“Coming here.”

“Sweetheart, I wouldn't say yes if it was a problem,” he coos as he reaches to caress your shoulder, “I wouldn't be a very good doctor if I don't make sure my patients are safe, huh?”

“I guess not,” you murmur.

“Look, you just get yourself situated. Try to relax. I know a lot's happened but you're strong. You can do this,” he leans in, “I believe in you.”

He kisses your forehead and you wince. His hand goes to your chin as he pulls away. You stare up at him.

“I meant it when I said you're special,” he hums.

“I…” you turn your head away from him, slipping free, “I need to lay down.”

“Sure,” he smirks and drops his hand, “I'll check in when I can.”

You turn into the bedroom, slouching through as you sense him behind you. You feel him watching, as if waiting for something. You refuse to look back.

“Just relax, sweetheart,” he purrs, “you're exactly where you need to be.”

The door shuts and you gasp as the bag falls from your hand. What does he mean?

[imyourbratzdoll]

I was wondering if you could do like a smut and fluff in a way. So this request would be for Andy Barber. I was think like what if Andy goes like to hard during sex, tr says their safe word. Andy doesn’t realize how hard he went until the morning after when he wakes up before the reader, he sees bruises that he left or bite marks or just any signs of roughness. Andy feels like so upset that he doesn’t wanna have sex with tr anymore because he doesn’t want to hurt them but tr doesn’t care, like it been a few days after and they start like making out on the couch but Andy stop it saying he doesn’t want to hurt the reader but tr tells Andy that they are okay that the feel safe with him, then they wind up making love. I really hope this makes sense I really enjoy your writing, also add anything you think will make it better. You don’t have yo specifically write this plot but maybe something along the lines.

hello, I hope you like it. I apologise for how short it is.

summary - you have to use your safeword, causing andy to distance himself.

warning - slight angst, illusions to sex, safeword.

18+ only please, the gif I use isn't mine, divider by @newlips

You didn’t know what had happened. One minute, you were greeting your boyfriend and the next, he was pounding his frustrations away into you. You usually liked the roughness, but today it had felt different. It had felt like he didn’t see you but more of a hole to use. It began to hurt, and you remembered you and Andy had come up with a safeword just in case things got out of hand. “Tulips!” He immediately stopped, and you flopped onto the bed, burying your face into the pillow as you felt exhaustion and pain creeping up. You dozed up, not feeling Andy cleaning you up before falling asleep beside you. 

The next morning you had woken to the feeling of someone staring at you, only to find Andy observing the marks he had littered your body with. A look of guilt rests upon his features, and he flinches away when you go to touch him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to go so rough….” The rest of the day, he keeps his distance. Barely letting you kiss or hug him, he shuffles away and makes up an excuse that he needs to do something. This continues for a week before you finally get to sit down with him and watch a movie. You both move closer before you end up on his lap, your lips move in a rushed kiss, and you grind down on him. A noise of disappointment leaves you when he pulls away and puts some distance between the two of you. “I don’t want to hurt you again. I can’t.” 

You cup his cheek as you look at him. “You won’t hurt me, Andy. What happened before wasn’t your fault. I’m okay, and there’s no one else I feel safer with.” He looks at you sadly. And you lean forward, bringing him into a blissful kiss before he picks you up and heads to the bedroom, your lips still connected as he slowly lowers you down onto the bed. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Your clothes get removed lovingly before your bodies move in sync. Soft moans fill the room as he takes you apart sweetly, kissing along your flesh. 

thank you for reading!

feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

[navybrat817]

Spoils of War

Pairing: Gladiator!Steve Rogers x Female Reader, mention of Dark Advisor!Andy Barber x Female Reader Summary: Steve gets a reward for a job well done and wishes he could have been with you under different circumstances. Word Count: Over 3k Warnings: Explicit sexual content, Noncon references (do NOT read if this upsets you), Dubcon elements (reader consents with Steve), vaginal unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), possessive behavior, dirty talk, talks of violence, captivity, servitude, dark themes, Steve Rogers (he's a warning, okay?) A/N: Here we go with The Arena! Please heed the warnings with each post for this AU as there will be dark elements throughout. Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby, but any and all mistakes are my own. Banner and moodboard by yours truly. Divider by @firefly-graphics. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

Steve Rogers believed in doing the right thing. Even as a young boy, he didn't allow his small size to let bullies push him, or others, around. As long as he could get up, he would fight. He carried that idealism throughout his life. It was why he chose to work with S.H.I.E.L.D..

But he no longer fought for the greater good.

The cheers from the arena rang in his ears as he closed his eyes, the water from the showerhead washing the blood and grime away. It wouldn't take away the guilt that ate at his soul. He was meant to save people, not take their lives away. How was he reduced to being a puppet for the demented masses?

One day, he would be free.

Today, he would savor the spoils of war.

"You've done well, Captain Rogers. A prize is long overdue."

Steve dried off moments later and kept a towel around his waist as he waited for you. He didn't have to wait much longer. The cell door opened long enough to shove you inside, anger boiling in his gut when you almost fell to your knees.

"Break her and Barber will kill you," the guard threatened.

Andy Barber. His former colleague. Your master.

"Should I tell him you nearly made her fall on her face or do you want to do that yourself?"

The guard didn't respond, but had the decency to look afraid before he slammed the door and left the two of you alone.

Steve watched as you straightened up and carefully glanced around the room. The cell HYDRA kept him in was comfortable enough. A small bathroom, a nice bed, and a desk so he could draw. Charcoal only, as they didn't allow him to have anything he could use to harm them. They also refused to let him have a cell near Bucky, afraid they would conspire against the guards and break free.

Even if he did have a weapon with him, he wouldn't use it on you.

His prize.

"Would you like to sit down?" he asked, bringing your gaze toward him.

This was the first time he had seen up close since the day everything went to hell. You were still beautiful, but there was sorrow in your eyes that hadn't been there before. The lacy red and black lingerie set did little to cover you, so different from the office clothes he typically saw you in. He wondered if you shivered slightly from the cold or fear.

"Yes. Thank you, Captain," you answered, offering him a small smile as you made your way to the foot of the bed.

You still had the same smile.

"Don't call me that," he said harsher than he intended to. "I'm not your Captain anymore."

He failed as Captain America. HYDRA captured you, Bucky, and countless others because he hadn't taken them down. It seemed like they only referred to him by his title to taunt him. Was he ever worthy of the shield?

Your smile slipped away as you sat down and lowered your gaze. "I'm sorry, sir."

Steve immediately wanted to pull you into his arms and apologize. You weren't in his cell for more than two minutes and he took his frustration out on you. He hadn't meant to.

"You don't need to apologize. I'm sorry for taking that tone with you. Steve or sir are both fine, sweetheart," he said, his towel slipping further down his hips as he walked toward you. "Or would you prefer I call you by your name?"

"You can call me whatever you want."

The words sounded rehearsed.

You looked up at him when his warm hand cradled your jaw, surprising him when you didn't recoil. He wondered what you saw as you looked into his eyes. A murderer? A monster?

"Why did you ask for me?" you asked.

"Because I was told I could have a reward for a job well done," he told you.

You narrowed your eyes. "Why me specifically?"

Rewards were typically in the form of a mistress since fighters couldn't ask for their freedom, or challenge anyone in charge to a battle. Mistresses were usually sent from the harem and not taken directly from one of the advisors or generals. It was only natural that you'd ask why.

"You belong to Andy Barber," he stated to gauge your reaction.

You flinched, your eyes flashing with something akin to offense and fury, but you didn't pull free from Steve's grasp. From what he gathered, you weren't a willing mistress to Andy. You knelt beside him at every match he could remember and never said a word. Advisors and Generals loved to show off their possessions. Requesting you as his prize for doing such a good job in the arena pissed Andy off, but he couldn't deny him.

A pet having power or sway over a master isn't allowed.

But unlike Andy, Steve's intentions weren't to harm or force himself on you.

If he thought for a moment that you were a willing participant in this, your reaction told him otherwise. "I don't belong to anyone."

"I wasn't trying to offend you," he promised, keeping his hand on you as he took a seat beside you. "How does he treat you?"

You hesitated before you answered. "Sometimes he fucks me like he loves me."

He ran a thumb across your cheek when a tear fell from your eye, rage surging through his veins. Even though you didn't bear any physical scars like him and the other fighters, you no doubt had wounds on the inside. Forced into sexual servitude would be enough to hurt the strongest of people. But the flicker of fire in your eyes, you still had some fight in you. It comforted him that they didn't break you.

"Did he do something to you? Is this some sort of payback?" you guessed.

"He did, but I didn't ask for you to get back at him," he said.

He wouldn't have asked for Andy's mistress if it was anyone other than you.

"I don't know why you're asking how he treats me. At the end of the day, I'm just his whore," you said, eying him warily. "And tonight, I'm yours."

He shook his head, bringing his other hand up to cup both cheeks. "You're not a whore."

He wished you could be his girl.

Maybe in another life.

"Then I don't understand why I'm here if you're not going to use me," you said, confusion filling your beautiful eyes. "I'm nobody."

"You worked on the 3rd floor," he said, tracing his finger along your bra strap when you gasped. "You had a cardigan on the back of your chair and the background on your computer matched whatever season we were in. You kept to yourself, but offered a small, kind smile whenever someone looked your way or jumped in to help without anyone asking. You were vital to S.H.I.E.L.D. and you're far from being a nobody."

You moved an inch closer and his gaze fell to your lips. "You knew me?" you asked in disbelief as he nodded. "I-I never thought anyone as high up as you would've noticed me."

"Of course, I did. I was just too stupid to say anything then," he replied, smiling sadly when he wiped another tear away.

Would it have made this situation better? Worse? Dwelling on "what if" would do more harm than good.

“So, you asked for me because you wanted to see me? You care?”

He let out a breath as he nodded. “I had to see for myself that you’re okay. Well, as okay as you can be given the circumstances,” he said.

There were so many things he wanted to say. That he was sorry a man like Andy ever got his hands on you. That he didn’t want you to give up hope. Why wouldn’t the words come out?

"I didn't think anyone cared," you said, lightly tracing a tiny scar on his arm. Something in your expression shifted from uncertainty to seductive as you leaned in closer. "But that shouldn't surprise me. You're a good man."

He placed a hand on your lips to stop you before you kissed him. Yes, he asked for you to be here, but he didn't want you to feel forced to do this. “No, sweetheart. I’m not going to use you.”

The point of his confession, or whatever he could call it, wasn't to make you give in to him. He needed you to know you did mean something to someone. You weren't alone in this.

“Is it using me if I’m offering?” you countered when he lowered his hand, giving you the chance to lean in to pepper his jaw with soft kisses. He didn’t stop you this time. “Unless you don’t want me.”

Steve wanted you. God, he wanted you, but he wouldn’t take from you the way Andy did. Even when you placed a hand on his thigh, your touch light and heavenly, he had to resist. HYDRA reduced him to a killer, he refused to sink any lower.

“I know you won’t hurt me,” you said, leaning back and reaching behind you to unhook your bra. He didn’t mean to groan when you took it off, but your breasts on display had his heart pounding against his ribs. Your nipples were hard and he hadn’t even properly touched you. “Like I said, you're a good man.”

Steve’s hands fell to your hips when you straddled him, his cock twitching beneath the towel. Was it wrong to give in if you wanted it? But did you actually want him? Were you acting on instinct? Orders?

“How am I a good man if I’m taking advantage of you?” he tried to argue when you pushed your hips down.

“You aren’t. You're giving me a choice and I'm choosing to give myself to you,” you said, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I want to forget even if it’s just for tonight.”

He wanted to forget, too. He didn’t want to see the blood that stained his shield or the life leaving the eyes of the bodies that fell. What he wouldn’t give to have a beer with Bucky after a mission gone well. Or take you out on a proper date.

“I’m your prize, Steve. So take it.”

The last shred of hesitation inside him snapped when he fastened his lips against yours. You went pliant against him, opening your mouth for him to take what he wanted. It wasn’t how he wanted your first kiss with him to be, but it made him dizzy nonetheless.

He didn’t break the kiss as he rolled you over, spreading you out on your back to slide in between your thighs. He swallowed down the small sound you made before he gave you both a chance to catch your breath. The sight of you gazing up at him made him lose his breath again.

“Please,” you whispered, shuddering as he moved his calloused hands up your legs.

He heard people beg before, but not like this. You would be his salvation. He hoped he could be yours, too.

Torn between kissing up your thighs or diving right in, he decided to dip a hand between your legs. You shivered again as he pressed his palm against the damp, flimsy fabric. “You’re wet,” he said in awe, gripping the underwear and tearing it away.

Your back arched, sending a shiver down his spine when he saw your eyes glaze over with lust. “For you, Steve.”

For him.

The slide of his first finger made him close his eyes. You were tight and warm and the clench around the digit alone was enough to make his cock twitch. He wondered if you ever got this wet for Andy. Did he prep you? Make you come?

“I’m supposed to take care of you,” you whined when he pushed another finger in.

“Are you my prize, sweetheart?” he asked, spreading and sliding his fingers in and out. He brought his other hand up to your breasts, not wanting to neglect them as he toyed with your pussy. "Are you giving yourself to me?"

“Yes,” you said breathlessly when he pinched a hardened bud, your walls tightening more by the time he added a third finger. “I am.”

“Then let me handle you as I see fit,” the slight command that came out was reminiscent of his days of being a Captain, the very thing he told you not to call him.

“Yes, Sir,” you whimpered, arching your back again when he removed his fingers.

He brought them to his mouth and licked each of them clean, savoring the sweet and tangy flavor of you on his tongue. If he was a better man, he’d take more time with you. Worship every inch of you until you sobbed and begged for more. Later, he’d indulge until all he knew was your taste. Your first orgasm though, he wanted on his cock.

He had to be inside you now.

You blinked and smiled as if you sensed his need. “I’m ready.”

Steve gripped the base of his cock as he settled between your legs. If he closed his eyes, he could imagine you were in his home. He refused to do so. This was the reality you were in and he had to make the most of it.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, silencing you with a kiss when you opened your mouth.

You gasped as he lined up with your entrance and slowly slid in. He almost stopped halfway through when you clenched hard around him, but his kisses relaxed you enough to let him in. He never felt anything as good as you and was sure he never would again. He was afraid he’d become addicted.

“I’m sorry, too,” you whispered back, sending shivers down his spine when you ran your fingers through his beard. “But it’s okay.”

He began to thrust, unable to take the tenderness in your eyes. In another life, he would’ve been worthy of that gaze and comfort. Now it was survival of the fittest.

“I won’t break,” you moaned, allowing him to take your wrists and pin them over your head. “You can fuck me how you need to.”

“What was it you said?” he asked, driving deeper into you to make you moan louder. “He fucks you like he loves you?”

You choked on your breath when you gazed up at him with fear in your eyes. You blinked it away before he could dwell on it. “Sometimes.”

“You haven’t been fucked by me before,” he grunted, taking your leg to wrap around his hip. “When I send him back to you, you’ll be dripping with me. He'll know you'll never truly be his."

A loud moan escaped when his grip on your wrists tightened, your hips rising to meet his thrusts as he fucked into you. It was easier than he thought to forget the horrors when he was buried inside you. What would he have to do to keep you for more than a night?

You squirmed when he slid his hand between your bodies and sought out your bundle of nerves. “You said you don’t belong to anyone, but here with me, you’re mine,” he said, circling your clit with his thumb. The whine he got in response was otherworldly. “Say it.”

“I’m yours,” you moaned, tears gathering in the corners of your eyes.

He wanted to believe it.

“Again,” he gritted. “Say you’re mine.”

“I’m yours. I’m yours!”

Your eyes widened when you quivered around him, a gush of wetness flowing around his cock as you cried out. The orgasm seemed to take you by surprise, but he kept up his pace to ride it out. He hoped it would be the first of many. Your face twisted in pleasure was almost enough to send him over the edge.

“Please, Steve,” you moaned brokenly, lying bonelessly beneath him as he buried his face in your neck.

Steve couldn’t resist when you begged so beautifully, letting out a broken sound of his own as he spilled into you. The release had him panting against your skin as finished, trying to remember the last time he experienced ecstasy like that. He desperately tried to hang on, not wanting it to end for either of you.

He pushed himself up to look at you, but didn't pull out, a sense of pride filling him at your fucked out expression. Releasing your wrists, he brought your hands up to wrap around him. He wasn’t expecting to need the comforting touch, but he had to feel your hands on him after what you shared.

Silence stretched on as snuggled close and he thought for a moment that you drifted off when you stayed quiet.

“I don’t want to send you back in the morning,” he admitted, tilting your chin so you'd look at him.

You quietly sniffled as you turned away. “I don’t either, but you have to. Andy is furious enough as it is."

He pulled you in for a hug when you trembled. He wanted to choke the life out of Andy himself. Maybe HYDRA had made him a monster.

“Maybe you can't stay here permanently, but I’ll ask for you again after my next match. I promise.”

He didn’t want you around Andy longer than you had to be.

“So, we meet up after your fights and allow ourselves to keep forgetting? You go back into the fight and I go back to the Advisor quarters?” you asked, your eyes shining as he let you rest against the mattress.

He tilted his head as he studied your face. The blissful expression had determination underneath. Both of you wanted to get out of here, like everyone else. With your position, maybe you could use it to your, and his, advantage.

“I’m a fighter. You’re the mistress of an advisor. I’m sure we can forget and find other uses for our time together,” he said carefully, in case he was reading you incorrectly. “What do you say?”

The smile you gave him was hopeful. “I'm in."

Oh, you don't think it'll be that easy, do you? Not if Andy has his way. 😏 Love and thanks! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Steve Rogers Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[wiypt-writes]

Consciousness Of Guilt Ch 24

Summary: It’s the countdown to Christmas, and you and Andy have a very excited almost 3 year old…and a pain in the ass Elf to contend with.

Warnings: Language, adult themes, Smut (NSFW, 18+)

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar the reader and any other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer. I do not consent to my work being translated or posted elsewhere. If you see this fiction on any site other than Tumblr it has been taken without permission.

W/C: 7.3k

A/N: Thanks to my beta @spectre-posts

Consciousness Of Guilt Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 23

According to Ferris Bueller, “life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” Well, you certainly could relate.

Within what felt like such a short amount of time; Lucy was growing, life was rapidly changing and there was no slowing down. You had gone back to work and while that was an adjustment in and of itself, you enjoyed the opportunity to work from home as well when necessary. Lucy was attending a daycare in the lobby of the building, and it gave you (and Andy) a chance to check in on her. Although you weren’t sure it were a good idea in the beginning as you knew Andy was down there “watching” or “checking in” far more than you were. Ron even would joke that if one couldn’t find Andrew Barber in his office then his calls should be 

“forwarded to the nursery in the lobby.”

And speaking of Ron, the end of the year was fast approaching and so was his retirement. The founding partner had given the news to yourself, Andy and the board with their spouses present at a dinner party they’d hosted at autumn’s start. He had declared that he would be stepping down at the end of February the following year. That meant many changes were coming including adding much more to Andy’s desk. Because, with Ron’s announcement, came another vote to seat Andy as the second head of the firm.

Simply put, it was as if you and Andy had merely blinked, and here you were. Your baby girl now almost three, and another year about to draw to a close.

You woke and stretched, leaning over to give Andy a quick peck on the cheek good morning. He stirred, and smiled, his arm moving to slip round your back.

“Morning, Angel.”

“Good morning, BB.” You smiled as your lips brushed his. “Happy first of December.”

Andy snorted, “whoopee…” You playfully slapped his chest and he laughed. “Seriously, what’s to get excited about? You’ve already put the tree up…it went up the day before Thanksgiving.”

You knew he was only half-serious. Whilst he’d grumbled it was far too early, when he’d seen how excited his little girl at the boxes of decorations, he’d got stuck right in to help.

“Listen, Mr Grinch…have you forgotten what’s waiting downstairs?”

At that, Andy grinned. This was the first year that Lucy had really appreciated and understood what Christmas was and her excitement was infectious.

“I can’t wait for her to see it.”

The two of you laid quietly talking for a few minutes, until Andy’s alarm obnoxiously signaled it was time to get up.

"Hit snooze," you suggested.

Andy sighed, “I’d love to, but I have a lot of prep today.”

You groaned, "alright. I'm working from home today. I'll keep Looby with me."

Andy groaned as he stretched. “I know it’s only a DUI and possession but whilst he’s pleading guilty for the DUI, on the rest he claims he’s been stitched up…”

You rolled to your side, facing his side of the bed, "well, I know it's been tough so far, but I’m sure it's going to work out."

“It feels like an awful amount of prep for something so minor, but there’s huge implications here that go behind the verdict.”

“Like…”

“Bent cops.” Andy wrinkled his nose. 

“Oh…”

“Yeah,” Andy shrugged a little, before his arm which lay under your neck threaded into the hair at the back of your head. “Busy couple of weeks before the holidays.”

You nodded and leaned up for a kiss. "You best get up, or I'll kidnap you."

“Isn’t kidnapping when it’s done against your…” he trailed off, the joke dying on his lips. “Fahk, Angel…that was…”

Your eyes grew soft, "Hey....," you cupped his face, "Andy no, it's okay. I'm okay."

He took a deep breath and accepted the soft kiss you gave him. “I know, I still don’t like the…the jokes, you know?”

Before you could reply, a little voice called out echoing down the landing and through the monitor on the bedside table.

“Daddy! Mommy! Isss awakes!” 

“Well, that's a new record," you snorted. "That’s your fault for reminding her last night she’s got her advent calendars to open.”

"Me? I did no such thing, that was Penny sending that fahkin' ugly bright box of which, no doubt, is full of shit prizes and candy."

“Oh hush!” You giggled, “you know full well she’s more excited about that glittery card dinosaur one you managed to find!”

Andy chuckled as you moved so he could climb out of bed, his bare torso flexing a little as he headed out of the room, Grant following. He opened the baby gate into Lucy’s room to find her sat up, the early light from the sunrise illuminating her slightly.

“Good morning Looby-Saurus.” He beamed.

“Hi Daddy Wex!” She giggled as Grant hopped up onto her toddler bed and stuck his nose into her face. “Gwant!”

“Stupid dog…” Andy grumbled, rolling his eyes.

“Daddy nos calls Gwant!” Lucy admonished as she stared up at him and Andy couldn’t help but snort at the expression she wore, so like you.

“Okay, okay.” He grinned and swooped her up in his big arms. She still sometimes looked so small in them to him, his precious girl. "Do you want to come snuggle Mommy so I can get ready for work?"

“Yup yup yups!” She hugged him round his neck and then she gasped. “Oh…iss a-vent day?”

He groans a little, "yep, it's advent day."

She squealed. “We goes?”

"Yes, but after I get dressed for work."

“Otay…”

"I'll be quick, promise." He kissed her cheek as he walked them into his room.

“Mommy!” Looby grinned as she saw you sat up in the large bed.

"Good morning, Looby Loo!"

“Iss assvent!”

"I know! Are you excited?"

In the corner of your eye, you saw Andy trying not to laugh at the unfortunate mispronunciation of the word.

“I so esscited!”

Andy headed into the bathroom, and you smiled at Lucy.

"I tell you what. Let’s go grab your robe and your slippers, make sure you’re warm when we go down, yeah?”

"Does it snows wast night?"

“I think so.” You grinned, “shall we see?”

"Outs dare?" She pointed to the French doors on your balcony.

"Yep, go see!"

She hopped down from your bed and ran to the long curtains, pulling them apart as she pushed her face through. “Mommy! More snows!”

"Oh my! Well, we'll just have to go out in it, won't we?" You laugh. “Make a snowman!”

“Wike Olaf!” Looby grinned as you climbed out of bed and grabbed Andy’s sweater from the vanity chair.

"Yes!" You pulled it on over your sleep cami.

That was when Andy threw open the bathroom door and rushed out in only a towel. "Sorry, two minutes." he quickly said and grabbed his underwear and undershirt, running back in.

“Daddy siwwy.”

"Yes, he is!" You carried her back to her room to get her robe and slippers. Andy met you two in the hall, his tie hanging around his neck and his jacket fisted in his hand. The smell of his shower gel, aftershave and the linger of toothpaste was a particularly heady mix that morning.

"Okay, let's get your advent!” He swooped up Lucy as she grinned and clapped. 

You followed and smiled at Andy as you opened the door to the huge open plan loving area of your old farmhouse. Andy set your daughter down and she immediately squealed.

“Oh. Wow!” You gasped as Andy took a dramatic inhale, “what on Earth…”

"Wassat, Wassat?!"

“It looks…it looks like an elf!” Andy grinned as Lucy ran to the little elf doll on the sofa. The Elf was sat holding a balloon.

"Das 'L' for Lucy!" She bounced on the spot, pointing at the balloon.

“You’re right.” Andy nodded. “That’s what it says. Hi, Lucy!”

Jumping up and down with pure glee, she took the sign and handed it to you.

You gasped, "Bunny, I think it's... It's a note, look!

“Issat?” Her eyes widened.

"Hang on, I need to make sure it's real...." Andy took the note from you and squinted as he inspected the teeny writing on the page. “Miss Lucy Jo Barber, Sheephill Cottage!” He read with an astonished tone. “It is real!”

"Reads it, Dadd-wex, peas!"

“Okay…” Andy took a deep breath and opened the letter. “Hi Lucy! I’m your special elf! I’m new, from the North Pole, and Santa sent me to your home especially so we can play together!” He paused as Lucy gasped.

You could help the grin that matched your daughter's as Andy read. This was definitely going to be the best part of the season.

“Like all new elves, I don’t have a name. So, the first thing we can do together is pick one. Anything you want, as long as it isn’t a rude word like…” Andy gasped and playfully looked at Lucy, “like fart or butt…”

She giggled and covered her grin with her small hands.

“You can play with me all day, but at night you have to leave me under the tree so that I can report back to Santa through the special Red bauble…”

"I can do it, I can do it!"

“I can’t wait to play and have lots of adventures. With love, from your Elf!” Andy finished. “Well, how awesome is that?!”

"I so esscited! I has to name hims! Don't goes!"

Andy chuckled, “I have to get to work soon, Bunny but…okay, a couple of minutes.”

"Think really hard, Lucy... A name is special." You encouraged.

“Erms….Pickles!”

Andy snorted, “what?"

“Pickles!”

Andy was about to ask why, but his phone rang. It was Ron. "Angel... I..."

“Yeah, okay…go. See you tonight.”

"I love you," he bent and kissed you. Then he kneeled down, "I gotta go, Bunny, come gimme a kiss then you and 'Pickles' can play."

“Bye daddy!” She ran to him and kissed his bearded cheek. “I wobes you.”

"I love you, too." He stood and kissed you again before rushing out.

"So," you clapped your hands together and smirked, "what are we going to do with Pickles?"

And that was how it started.

You quickly realized the Elf couldn’t be left “under” the tree as Grant took a liking to him, and on the first night, Andy spent a good five minutes trying to retrieve him from your dog’s jaws. 

Then, each and every day you had to remind yourself or Andy to move the damn elf, that fast became an annoying and obnoxious chore. But seeing Lucy’s reaction each morning was so worth it. It was in the kitchen hanging off the fridge, it was in the bathroom Lucy used being naughty using the sink as a tub. It scuba dived in Grant’s water bowl, pulled all the cushions off the couch, left a trail of marshmallow footprints all over the kitchen counters….When it was Andy's turn to move it, you'd learned to double check the setup, for the first time he was in charge there was a very precarious pose your husband had put it in. So, you had to fix it. And that was how every turn Andy had went, so you had to scold him each time as you fixed it before Lucy saw.

But one Tuesday evening, a few weeks after his 46th birthday, Andy outdid himself.

You’d arranged Pickles on the coffee table with one of Lucy’s Barbie Dolls, and a few of her dinosaurs around a little table of their own along with a sign that informed everyone that this was a “tea-rex” party. You’d left to go grab a drink from the kitchen and come back to find Pickles’ head was now between Barbie’s legs and Andy was bent over the scene, giggling like a naughty schoolboy.

“Andrew!”

"What?” He spun to face you.

“You absolute child!”

“Hey, Picks has to try Barbie at least once in his life!"

“You are the…” you slapped the back of his head, causing him to yelp, “absolute worst!”

"Oh c'mahn!" He drawled in his Boston baroque as you moved to fix the toy porn scene in front of you. “I mean I'm naht a Barbie man myself, but..." he  wrapped his arms around you, nuzzling your neck.

“You’re not?”

"Nope...." he kissed your skin. "I like wings."

“Smooth….”

"I have my moments," he snorted.

“Hmmm…” you moved in his arms, turning to face him.

"It's just a little fun, Angel," he smirked and kissed the tip of your nose. "You laughed, something you haven't done for a week."

You sighed. "I know, it's been busy. With both Amber and Eva already gone, and now the nursery closed for the holidays, I've been overloaded. And I'm still not feeling well."

“No?” He frowned. “I thought you said you were yesterday?”

"I just still feel tired and run down," you sighed. "Honestly, it's just the full plate but now that I'm working from home, it'll get easier. Especially with you and Ron buttoning up this case. I didn't want to say much because you're so stressed and putting in the hours."

Andy took a deep breath, “well, we have the closing arguments tomorrow so…that’s it. If no verdict by 5pm, it’s deferred until new year. I’ll be finished tomorrow evening regardless.”

"Good," your hands ran up his cotton tee covered chest and sighed. "You wanna light that fire now? We can turn the lights out and leave the tree on?"

“Mmmm get comfy, huh?” He smiled and leaned down to kiss you. “Any of that red we opened at dinner left?”

"A bit. Maybe a glass each."

“Just enough.” He smiled, “the Christmas order from the Wine club should be arriving tomorrow or the day after. I stuck a few bottles of the cheap stuff in so we can make mulled wine.”

"My favorite," you slipped from his arms and padded back toward the kitchen.

When you came back a small fire was just starting to pick up. Andy tossed on more kindling before, once satisfied it was going to take, he chucked on a log.

You passed off his glass and he took it with a soft smile, but not without kissing you gently in the glow. His free hand rest against the small of your back.

You loved the night times. Andy always made time for Lucy when he came home, playing, bathing, and reading her a story. But once she was tucked in, and it was just the two of you, he relaxed even more.

"I love you," you bumped your nose against his.

“I love you too.” He smiled, his lips brushing yours.

"What now, counselor?"

“Movie? Sit on the rug and talk?

"Rug sounds good to me,” you winked.

You both settled down, you sat between his legs, your back settled in against his chest as he leaned against the oak coffee table. One of his long legs was extended flat along the floor, the other bent at the knee.

The two of you drank your wine and talked, in the easy way you’d always been able to. Andy’s hands would rub up and down your forearms and sometimes his lips would kiss your neck. Your hands would move up and down the top part of his shin or fingers would draw lines and swirls over his thigh.

It was peaceful, intimate, and in the comfortable moments of silence, the crackle of the fire filled the room making it feel even more homely and cozy. 

As the flames started to die down, you checked your watch.

"It's late, Andy," you spoke with a softness almost as if any louder you might disturb the silent night. "You don't want to be late in the morning."

“Ten more minutes.” He whispered, his lips kissing the back of your shoulder.

"Alright," you sighed in appreciation.

His lips didn’t move far from your skin. His beard tickled you as it gently rubbed against the crook of your shoulder.

You reached back to curl your hand around his neck. Your fingers ran down the length of his neck.

He hummed in appreciation, as his lips found the hinge of your jaw. You responded the same. But you leaned your body into him more as your fingers scratched at the shorter hairs along the back of his head and a hand pressed further into his thigh.

As he nuzzled into you, one hand moved, splaying across your belly as the other arm wrapped across your chest. Your hum turned into breathy grunt and sigh.

The hand that was splayed on your belly slid further down, fingers softly brushing the inside of your right thigh through your sleep pants. The other softly traced the swell of your breast. A gentle moan left your throat at the feel of his hands on you like that. Your body easily responding to your husband’s touch with a delicate yet elevated sensitivity.

Andy sighed, his lips now at your chin as his fingers danced over your nipple, which was peaked through the soft material of your sleep shirt. “Oh, Angel…so responsive for me…”

You whimpered at his voice and touch, "Mmm, yeah.” You tilted your hips back against him. His lips met yours as you felt the hand on your thigh slipping beneath the waistband of your pants.

You gasped into his mouth, the tickle of his fingers passing your mound was pleasurable. Your own fingers curled into his hair. His mouth hovered over yours, his eyes twinkling as he slowly circled your clit with his fingers, the other hand now slipping into the neckline of your top.

The twist of your body against his chest gave you a better angle to feel his hot breath against your lips. Your hips tilted forward just a pinch to practically fall into that finger circling you. You jutted your chin just a fraction outward to capture a kiss as his hand now cupped your breast.

He gave a squeeze and his thumb rubbed over your nipple now with the pad of his thumb against your skin. It was slow, delicate, like a strum to a guitar string.

"Mmm," you hummed against his lips.

“Good?” His voice was a grunt as his tipped his hips forward, his hardness pressing into the dip of your back.

"Yeah," you whispered. "S'good...."

“Can I fuck you like this?” he rasped.

Your belly knotted as your chest fluttered, "ah, fuck, yes...."

You didn’t wait, your hands moved, and you pulled off your top and then tipped your head back round to Andy. 

“Lose yours.”

His hand came away from your sleep pants, your clit missing his touch, as he took that very hand to single handedly pull that collar of his sleep shirt over his head.

You moved as he did so, slipping your sleep pants down and you heard Andy groan a little behind you.

"Good?" You smirked.

He chuckled as you felt him shuffle, hands on your hips as you knelt up. He eased you back over him, one hand letting go to grip at his dick. As you moved yourself backwards, you felt his head brushing through your folds, and you moaned. 

“That feels good…”

Andy sighed pleasurably as you rocked over his cock. His head tickled your clit and a delightful whimper sounded from your lips at the feel. His hands remained at your hips, not pushing, or pulling, simply resting as you dictated your speed.

It all felt so good. His hands on you, your hands bracing yourself at his thighs as you rubbed along his shaft. You felt a stir inside and changed tactic, wanting him inside you.

You stopped and shifted backwards, Andy immediately obliging. His tip slipped in with ease and you slowly sank down on him. The remnants of the burning embers and fire, now near gone, still warmed you and  the Christmas lights around you casted a romantic glow across your bodies.

You leaned back against his chest as he tipped his hips upwards, both of you sighing as he filled you.

After a minute, your hips rolled as you snaked that hand and arm back and up around his neck and nape. His lips nipped at your shoulder, hands sliding up your rib cage until they cupped both of your breasts.

"Yes," you hissed. You splayed your fingers over the back of his head as the heel of your hand cradled the base.

His hips were slow, thrusts deep as his palms squeezed your mounds before his fingers pinched your nipples.

"Fuck, Andy," you squirmed.

His hands continued, teasing you as his rolls were measured. His lips brushed up your neck.

Your skin felt like it was on fire and not from the dying flames, but from Andy's touch and his deep thrusts. He filled your still tight insides with a stretch you'd grown accustomed to, desired most days and begged for at times. The way his soft hands were gentle always at first but demanding when begged for.

“Feel so good, Angel.”

"Yeah, it does," you replied with a whine. "Jesus, Andy, it's real good."

His fingers continued their massaging and plucking, your nipples so sensitive as his rolls and thrusts picked up pace ever so slightly.

Your delicate walls began to flutter against his shaft as it rubbed along your ridges. The hooded edge of his tip kissed your spongy surface as the slow drag of his thrusts slipped through you.

He kept that same, steady pace to the end, and you came with a soft whimper as his teeth nipped your shoulder.

Your weight settled with a welcome slouch against his lap as you became pliant to his touch. Your orgasm had your whole body tingling and every sense was intensified. You could feel the fibers of his hair on his thighs, the grooves of his teeth on your skin. Even the prints of his fingers and thumbs felt like imprints on your nipple and breasts.

“Oh, baby…” he cooed, “there we go…”

"Fuck, Andy...."

Andy could feel you, squeezing him as you trembled in his lap.

"Jesus, Angel...."

You could only whimper as your body kept going. It was as if a shorter, weaker, second orgasm was trickling through. An aftershock of sorts.

You were that caught up, you didn’t feel Andy as he came, but you heard his little grunt in your ear.

The room was silent bar your heavy breaths mixing with his. There was a peppering sound of soft kisses, but it were only for your ears.

"That was good, Angel."

“Mmmm.”

He lightly chuckled with a rasp to his voice but made no attempt to move you, and the two of you remained there for a bit longer.

****

Neither of you wanted to get up the next morning, but Andy knew the end was in sight. He was up, showered, downstairs and waiting with coffee before you and Lucy appeared.

He could hear the two of you in her room, giggling in excitement at what Pickles could have been up to overnight. He smirked with a flick of his brows knowing damn well what the little shit had been up to.

Soon after, the door opened and Looby ran into the room and squealed, “looks!”

"Oh my, he's had a party with your other friends!" You grinned and your eyes moved over to Andy. 

He smirked at you over his mug. “Yeah, said friends look really happy. Bet Barbie had a great time last night.

You blushed, "Angel did."

He said nothing, merely arched a brow and you knew he was smug as fuck.

Breakfast was the usual affair and at 8:15 you kissed him goodbye so he could make the half hour drive to Denver.

As he went through security, he placed his case in the conveyor belt and walked through the scanner. As Andy replaced his belt and watch, stuck his phone back in his pocket, the guy at the X-ray machine peered carefully at the screen before he chuckled to himself and looked Andy.

“Merry Christmas, Mr Barber.”

"Merry Christmas, Jack," he smirked. "Have a good one."

He grabbed his case and jacket and headed through. A few moments later he entered the courtroom as spectators did but slipped through the bailiff to sit at the Defense table. He placed his case down on the desk in front of his seat, an empty one to the left where his client would sit and turned to Ron as he clicked the clasps on his case open.

“Good evening?” Ron smiled.

"Great evening,"

“Dare I ask?” Ron snorted.

Andy just smugly grinned, "Nope."

Ron chuckled as Andy opened the case and stopped dead.

“What the…” his boisterous laugh filled the room as those around took a glare at him.

“I don’t…how the hell…” he chuckled as he turned his open case to Ron. There, on top of his files, led Pickles.

Now, it was Ron's turn to join in on the laughter.

“Is that the famous Pickles?” He reached for the elf.

"That it is," Andy shook his head.

Ron grinned as he sat the Elf doll on the edge of the desk.

“Shit, Ron! You can’t…” but Andy’s attention was jerked away as the Bailiff called for order and their client was led in.

"All rise...." the spiel went on and as the judge sat down then told everyone to do the same, his eyes shot up at the defendants side.

"Barber, what the hell is that?"

Ron snorted as clearly Andy was head seat and was taking the ticking off from His Honor.

“Erm…I…”

“A new witness.” Ron quipped.

“No, I…it’s… Ron!” Andy hissed.

“It’s a little unbecoming to try and enter a new witness at such a late stage,” the Judge’s mouth twitched a little. Various titters rang round the court room.

“I’m sorry, your Honor. My daughter…she must have snuck it into my bag…” Andy grabbed the doll and pinched the bridge of his nose, “I can only apologize.”

"I'm a grandfather to twelve Barber, I get it. They’ve all had these damned Elf On A Shelf things each year for ages. But the merry little shits are annoying as hell, so put...."

"Pickles, Your Honor..." Ron interjected to more laughter.

"Pickles," the judge snorted, "back in the case until recess, huh?"

“Yes, sir…it’ll stay in there, believe me.” Andy tossed the doll into his case and closed it with a snap. “More than my life is worth to lose him.”

He glared at Ron as he sat back down, the soon retiring senior partner grinning like a fool back at him.

Thankfully, the rest of the proceedings went according to plan. The summing up was completed and then before lunch the jury were sent to consider their verdict. To Andy’s surprise, they were called by the clerk less than three hours later as the verdict was in.

Andy bit his lip and exhaled with relief as the verdict came back not guilty. The Judge nodded, and then following the sentencing for the DUI and a final consultation with their client, Andy and Ron left the courthouse. As they were leaving, the DA pulled them both to one side, informing them that she would be sanctioning an investigation into the allegations of corruption.

After Andy promised the firm would help in any way they could, they headed out into the cold air, buoyed by both the result and the fact it was now officially over in time for Christmas.

“Well,” Ron turned to Andy as he paused at his Mercedes, “not a bad one to bow out on.” He smirked as he opened his car door. “Maybe you should thank the elf…”

"You know, you're still my boss, or I'd say fahk you," he snorted.

“Only for another 2 months.” Ron grinned, “hit me with your worst!”

"Man, just 2 months left. I can’t believe you’re bowing out, you bastard!" Andy chuckled.

"Oh yes, yes I am," Ron touted. "I've put in my time. I'm seventy, and I’m done."

Andy had the door open to his Audi coupe, "I'm heading back for a few hours before going home.”

“What? Why? Fuck that! It’s back past your house to go to the office and you’ve done enough. We tied everything up, so go home. That’s an order, and as I’m still your boss…”

“Fahking fahk you!” Andy snorted, as Ron shot him a look. “Okay, okay, I’ll go home!”

“Good! I’ll check.”

“Don’t I know it. Hey, are you and Giselle coming by for dinner still?"

“Absolutely, be with you at seven-ish. Unfortunately, I’m driving as the boys, wives, and grandkids land early tomorrow morning so…”

“Yeah, you mentioned. Don’t worry, Y/N’s made mulled cider, not wine. Coupla beers if you fancy. Lucy will no doubt have us up at the crack of dawn, so we won’t have much either. Save it for tomorrow.”

“Speaking of my little pal, will she still be up tonight when we arrive or…”

“Well, she goes down around seven but she’s not in nursery, sure we can let her stay up a little longer. You never know, she may lay in tomorrow, I can pray for a Christmas miracle.” Andy winked.

"Good," Ron winked, "I'd hate to miss spoiling my God daughter on Christmas Eve Eve!" Ron chuckled and slipped into his Mercedes. He rolled down the window and shouted over the loud dual muffler. "See you at seven!"

With a smirk, Andy climbed into his car and pulled out of the lot, dialing his secretary’s number just to check in. By the time he was home, he was satisfied all his loose ends for the years were tied up and he was absolutely ready for the ten or so days break he would get.

The moment he stepped inside the house, he could smell the spirit of Christmas. Clearly, you'd been busy. And the motley crew of decorated cookies who seen better days proved so as they sat on the counter.

“Daddy!”

"Looby-saurus!" Andy kneeled down and dropped his case and jacket to his feet as he caught her little body.

“We medz cookies!” She grinned as she wrapped her little arms round his neck.

"I can see that! Did you decorate them?" He picked one up and offered her a bite before taking one himself.

“Yups!” She nodded. “Mama says Uncle Won and Aunti Zel will wike dem!”

"Oh, I bet they will, they're gonna be here later," he kissed her cheek. Then he turned to his right and kissed you tenderly. 

"How'd it go?" Your hands pressed into his chest. 

"Standard sentence for the DUI: fine and costs plus community service and a driving ban, no custodial or probation. But we expected that as it’s his first offense. Main thing is, not guilty for the possession," he said softly with a smile. “Which means we just ripped open an IA on the department.”

"Well, congrats BB, it all worked out. And judging by the early arrival, you're home for good now?"

“Yup.” He grinned and jiggled Lucy a little. “I’m done now until the 6th of January!”

You grinned, "Did you hear that, Lucy? Daddy-Rex is home for a lot of days!"

“Yay!” She cheered.

“So,” Andy set Lucy on the kitchen counter, “what else did my girls do today?”

"We cleaned up, made our cookies, had a Snowball fight!" You smiled.

"I gots Gwant. Den, he pushed me."

“He pushed you?” Andy gasped, as he reached to unwrap his scarf, “well  that’s just put him right on Santas naughty list!”

"Das what I says!" Lucy opened her hands up like she was saying 'I don't know.'

"Lucy, hop down and go wash so you can help me, okay?" You offered.

Andy gently dropped her to her feet, and she ran off with excitement towards the bathroom by the laundry room.

He took off his coat, dropped it over the back of one of the tall stools which sat under the breakfast counter and loosened his tie.

He snorted as he lifted his case to set it in the same stool, remembering what was inside, "the fahkin' elf."

"What was that?" You looked up at him.

Andy moved his case to the counter and looked at you, “open it…”

You dried your hands from your work and walked around to the stool. You clicked the locks on the top and opened the case. Then, you sputtered a loud snort that turned into a chuckle. "How...I swear I did NOT do that!"

“Well, if it wasn’t you, it was either that spotty little Asshole or Lucy.”

Knowing full well it wasn't Grant, you simply smirked and titled your chin as your eyes humorously looked at your husband.

“Ron sat the damned thing on the desk, in court. Then told the judge it was a new witness.”

Your jaw dropped as you tried to cover it, "oh no...." you started chuckling again.

“Thankfully, the judge saw the funny side.” Andy snorted.

"I'd hope! It's Callahan, right? Guy's got a crap load of kids and grandkids." You remembered the judge from Andy having had a trial previously with him.

“That’s the one.” He nodded, then spun round as Lucy came back into the room.

"Looby…." you smirked, "where's Pickles? He was here this morning..."

“Erms…” instantly she adopted the same guilty expression Andy wore when he’d been caught out and Andy grinned.

“Pickles has been in court!”

"I knows!" She giggled and put her chubby little hands over her grinning face. "He goes!"

“Did you put him in my briefcase?” Andy gasped, “I thought he climbed in!”

"I halps!"

“Well, he got to see the judge. Uncle Ron sat him on the table.”

“He did?” She squealed, “was you in tempt?”

Andy chuckled, "almost!"

You blinked, not quite sure how your nearly three year old knew what that was, let alone how to use it in the right context. But then again, she was bright as a button. Her vocabulary and self-awareness already streets ahead of what you’d expect of a child her age.

"Alright, Smart Bunny," you shook your head with a smirk, "I need your help with the snacks while Daddy goes and changes for Ron and Giselle."

���Otay…oh, I puts Pickles back first?”

"Yes," Andy thrust him in her direction, "He needs to think about what to tell Santa tonight about his day!"

As she took the elf, Grant sidled over, his tail wagging.

“No, Gwant!” Looby sternly told him. “Daddy, you ups so I reaches?”

“Absolutely.” Andy picked her up and crossed the dining area to the living space where the larger tree sat.

She reached and set the elf right on what Lucy had deemed the 'homes' branch next to a red bauble. Grant sat looking up, licking his lips.

"NO GWANT! Bad dog!" Lucy shook her finger at him. "No eats!"

“He can’t reach, baby.” Andy kissed her head, “don’t worry.”

You snorted as you heard, "I wouldn't trust that. He got all the way to the back of the counter this morning."

“He what?” Andy wheeled round.

"Yep," you popped your 'p'. "This," you indicated to the chicken and mushroom pasta bake waiting to go into the oven, "is the second one. Lucy and I had to go back to the market after nap." You glared at the dalmatian.

“Fur coat…” Andy grumbled.

"Today, I'd agree." You snorted.

Andy headed up with a shake of his head to change and decompress from the day before Ron and Giselle were to arrive. It felt damn good to keep the laptop closed for at least a week and ignore important emails for just as long. He hung his tie and shirt, ready for the cleaners as well as his suit pieces. He slipped into dark jeans and a thin sweater, keeping his undershirt from the day on. 

You heard his boots thud along the stairs as he came back down to join you and Lucy.

The three of you prepared the rest of the snacks and the accompanying sides to the pasta bake. Lucy then had her dinner, and Andy took her upstairs for a bath and to change into her pajamas ready for the evening. 

"No bed," she argued as he slipped her snowmen sleep shirt over her head.

“No, not yet. You can stay up and see Uncle Ron first. Maybe open the presents they’re bringing if mama says you can.”

"Oh... Can I seep wif Daddy Wex and Mommy?"

“I tell you what, you can go to sleep in our bed with the tv on and then I’ll move you later on, okay?”

"Otay, Gwant comes?”

“Yeah, Grant can sleep with you.”

She grinned, "Ups, peas, we goes!"

Andy chuckled, “want me to carry you or you wanna ride on my back?”

"Back!"

“Alright, robe and slippers on first.”

"'tay," she slid off her bed, feet first with her belly to the duvet.

She slipped her little feet into her Rudolph slippers that Pickles had bought one morning and then Andy held out her little dinosaur robe.

"Danks, Daddy Wex." Then Lucy gasped, "Daddy!"

"What, Bunny?"

"Oh nos! I forgot!"

Andy crouched down, "hey... Lucy what is it?"

"I fogots my assdent!"

Andy tried not to laugh, “that’s okay, we’ll open it now.”

"Okay..."

“Now…” Andy swiveled round, “hop on…”

He grunted as she did, then stood and tossed her a bit so he could settle her evenly, causing her to giggle. At the same time, he thanked whomever that she was still tiny, or he'd be fucked with his old man back.

“Lessgo Daddy-wex!”

With a roar, Andy jogged out of her room, causing her to shriek and giggle. You heard their laughs and giggles before his feet touched the stairs to come down and just as they hit the first floor, there was a knock on the door. Grant barking to make sure they were all well aware.

"Deys here! Dems here!"

“Well let’s go let them in!” Andy exclaimed back, bouncing to the door.

He opened the inside door to the porch first, Lucy still on his back and then he swung the heavy oak outside one inwards.

"Uncle Won! Auntie Zel!”

“Well, hi!” Ron beamed, as Lucy bounced on Andy’s back.

“Come on in outta the cold!” Andy chuckled, stepping back. He crouched so Lucy could slide off his back.

“Lemme get inside, pipsqueak!” Ron chuckled, “get these bags down so I can give you a hug!”

The greetings were spread between all and once the excitement died down and Lucy showed Giselle everything, she had in her advent for the fifth time, they'd settled in the living room by the fire.

“Bunny, did you open your advent for today now or did you forget again?” Andy asked.

"Aun Zelle halped! Penny gots me dis!" She held up a toy so close to his eye that he needed to lean back to see it.

“Another dinosaur!” Andy grinned.

"Issa di.... Di..." 

“Diplodocus…” Andy said, pronouncing it carefully so Lucy could copy.

"Diplodikis"

“That’s it. Hi five!” Andy grinned.

Ron found the mispronunciation hilarious while and Giselle rolled your eyes.

"Alright, Looby Loo, you get to open your gifts from us, and then I heard Pickles say it was bedtime," Ron sighed.

Lucy opened her mouth to argue but a look from Andy stopped her impending protest dead.

“Remember what we agreed upstairs, bunny.” He spoke softly but firmly.

"Yes," she sighs a bit.

“Come on…it’s Christmas Eve tomorrow, we got a big day!”

"What's we do?"

“Well, we got breakfast and the last Advent day, then we’re gonna take Grant for a walk by the creek, build a snowman. Then we’re gonna help Mommy get things ready, before we go to Patti’s for dinner and watch the Carol singers. Then it’s home, and we make sure Pickles is ready to go back to the North Pole with Santa!”

"Santa! I sees him near Patti's," Lucy grinned as she took an outstretched gift from her Godfather. "Fanks!"

She flopped down as she started to unwrap the first present, but then paused halfway through ripping off the first bit of paper

“How’s comes dese presents here?”

“Well, you see, Santa brings some presents, but friends and family, well they buy each other things too.” You smiled, running your hand over her head. “So, Uncle Ron and Auntie Giselle bought these for you. And in a minute, you can give them their gifts from us.”

"Oh...." she drew out.

She continued and squealed as she unwrapped her gifts, which formed a set of new art supplies, complete with a wooden box with her name on to keep them in.

"I wuv dems! Fank you!"

“You’re very welcome, honey.” Giselle caught her hug before she then ran to Ron.

“Merry Christmas, my little squish monster!” Ron hugged her tight.

After exchanging the adult gifts, Looby was ushered round to say goodnight before Andy carried her upstairs.

That gave you the chance to invite Ron and Giselle to the dining area to take their seats so you could eat.

The hour was late by the time things were consumed and cleaned up. Giselle helped you, despite Andy's protests that he and Ron should be doing it. Even Giselle told Andy to piss off as she found it to be the perfect point in time for 'the two of you to have your cigars and scotch'. 

She stirred the mulled cider and inhaled the aromatic scent that made one's heart warm and fill with a delightful holiday spirit. "So, what'd you get Andy for Christmas?"

“A long weekend in Vermont, towards the end of January.” you smiled. “Ron helped me, said he’d wangle the diaries. Booked us a cabin. Lucy’s going to my parents.”

"Oh, how lovely! You two deserve a trip like that. A log cabin, big fire, skiing! Ugh, we haven't done that since Ronnie's hip replacement. Old fart seizes up as soon as it hits forty*.”

You chuckled, “you know I’ve never been skiing. Andy has, not for a while.” You smiled, “and, then from Lucy…” you grinned, “I booked them one of the experience days at the museum, you know where they do the special dinosaur days and tours?”

Giselle grinned and opened her mouth to answer you, but you suddenly felt extremely warm and a little bit funny.

"Y/N?"

“I’m fine just…it’s a little warm, that’s all.” You waved Giselle away, “been feeling off for a few days.”

"Well, here, sit," she guided you to one of your bar stools. "I'll finish these." She grabbed you a glass of water.

“Thanks…” you sat down, glancing over to where Andy and Ron were sat. Neither seemed to have noticed. 

After a few sips of water, you felt better and were thankfully able to participate in the rest of the night.

But something was niggling in the back of your mind, and you couldn’t quite figure out what.

*****

Christmas Eve morning had you slowly starting the morning. And that was despite Andy's plans of a big busy day.

But no worries, it was a lazy breakfast, more brunch really, and then you set off for a walk. Andy made good on his promise, you built a snowman the three of you before heading home and warming up with hot chocolate and a snack.

Then, you loaded into your jeep and headed back into Boulder. You let Lucy give Patti the small gift you’d bought for her, and in exchange she was very happy with the dinosaur book Patti gave her. 

Then, after your burgers and fries you went out onto the square full of little Christmas market stalls, to wait for the Carol service.

Lucy and Andy were busy examining something at one of the stalls when you glanced around, and it suddenly hit you. What that nagging feeling had been.

You moved towards Andy and gently stood on your toes.

“One last thing I need to pick up, won’t be long…”

“Alright…” he leaned down, giving you a quick kiss.

You shot off across the square, slipped into the shop in question, leaving less than five minute late with your purchase stuck in your inside pocket. You needed another quick pit stop, before you returned ten minutes after you had left.

“Looks, Mommy!” Lucy excitedly waved a little wooden tree ornament at you as you reached her and Andy. “Is a daddy wex!”

“Oh, wow!” You beamed. “That’s amazing!”

“We got three!” Andy grinned. “A daddy rex, a mommy rex and a Looby saurus.”

“Hmmm, that’s great.” You beamed, “but…well, you might need to add another.”

"What?" Andy looked as if he hadn't entirely heard you.

You reached into your pocket, dipping your chin into your scarf a little and pulled out the test you’d just done. Thankfully, Lucy was too busy looking at the Carol singers who were now walking into the square with their lanterns to hear Andy’s exclamation.

“Holy fahking shit!”

You grinned. It was all you could do.

His nose was redder than seconds ago his eyes definitely not stinging from the winter air. He had no words, but you could see it on his face.

You'd just given him the third best gift of his life with you.

And pulled his hands from his pockets and quickly grabbed your face. His beard poked then tickled your cheeks as he kissed you, hard.

Lucy giggled, “kissy!” and you spluttered a bit as he pulled away.

“I know….we hadn’t planned another after Lucy, and…we’re gonna be a bit older than we both probably wanna be but…oh, Andy!” You couldn’t help the tears of happiness that pricked your eyes, “another baby!”

He grinned and pulled your face to his again. "I love you, fahk, I fahking love you much, baby."

You spluttered, allowing him to kiss you again before a yell of protest came from Lucy.

You broke apart quickly with a wet laugh from you both. Andy spoke first his voice able to carry over the growing crowd.

"What's the matter?"

“I no sees ” She looked up at you both, pointing to the singers who were now stood ready to start on the small makeshift stage in the middle. Her woolly hat slipped down over her eyes and Andy chuckled. He lifted her up into his arms, righted her hat and gave her cheek a huge kiss. 

“Shoulders, peez!”

He grinned and tossed your daughter in her rightful place. Once she was settled, and her holding on, Andy looked down at you again.

His free hand cupped your jaw while his fingers carted through your hair and around the base of your head. "Here we go again," he grinned and bent as far as he could without losing Lucy.

You pressed up on your toes and met him the rest of the way, a final searing kiss to your lips as the opening carol played.

"Angels we have heard on high

Sweetly singing o'er the plains

And the mountains in reply

Echoing their joyous strains...."

"Thanks, Santa," Andy whispered as he pulled away

****

Chapter 25

[holylulusworld]

The assistant (7) - A lost Captain

Summary: You are invisible most of the time.

Pairing: Former!Boss!Steve Rogers x Former!Assistant(plussized)!Reader

Possible pairing: Jake Jensen x Reader, Lloyd Hansen x Reader, Curtis Everett x Reader, Ari Levinson x Reader, Andy Barber x Reader, Mike Weiss x Reader

A/N: Okay, I went a little crazy with all the CEvans charaters in this one.

Warnings: angst, flirty CEvans characters, language, plussized/chubby reader, protective brothers, Lloyd being Lloyd, fluff, domestic brothers, mentions of anal fixation, remorse

The assistant masterlist

Part 6

“Whoa, Capsicle. What crawled up your ass?” Tony snickers.

He only wanted to check on Steve, because he didn’t hear from him for the better of two days. Now he’s watching Steve despair.

His office is a mess. There are papers splattered all over the floor and his desk. His phone won’t stop ringing, and the printer makes an odd noise as it tries to print some pages.

“Uh-I like how you decorated your office. Chaos and despair look good on you.”

“Tony, not now,” Steve jerks his head toward the cocky billionaire. “Since you fired my assistant…” He shakes his head. “No, since Y/N is gone, this office is a mess.”

“Well shit, Capsicle. You wanted her gone. Who would’ve thought, that she takes harassment and the way you treated her personally?” Tony sneers. “It was you and Sandy making the best assistant and friendliest person I ever met leave. Shame on you.”

“I was-“ Steve wrinkles his forehead. “I don’t know, Tony. Maybe it was the way Sandy treated me. She showered me with attention, and deep down inside, the young boy was all too happy to give in to her advances.”

Tony makes a retching sound. “Steve, too much information. I don’t want to know about your sex life. Keep little Steve out of our conversations. Please.”

“I didn’t…I mean…I would’ve but…you know,” Steve sighs. “I didn’t have sex with her. Sandy got mad as you fired her, and I refused to help her get her job back. It took me a while to realize that I made a grave mistake.”

“Good for you,” Tony smirks. He looks around the room one last time. “Don’t worry. Rumors say Y/N found a new job in no time.”

He hates to admit it, but guilt is eating Steve up. “Good for her. I hope they treat her better than I did. I even forgot to buy her lunch.”

“Yeah…I mean…she will get free cookies and cupcakes every day. Not to forget to mention they will shower her with attention.”

“Who?” Steve quirks a brow. “What are you talking about? Y/N is not that kind of girl! She’s a good girl.”

 “Poor sheltered Steve,” Tony grins. “She moved in with six brothers, Capsicle. Do you think they let her move in to play cards all night?"

Steve looks at his shield, swallowing thickly. What has he done?

Steven Grant Rogers. The golden boy. Captain America himself pushed you into the arms of six men.

He doesn’t want to think about all the things they will do to you.

“How’s that?” Jake smiles wildly when you take a large bite of the cookie he made only for you. He loves to experiment in the kitchen, and even more to share the experience with you.

“Perfect,” you chew audibly. “Is that cinnamon and blueberry?” You moan. “The taste is…I can’t describe it.”

“I’ll put it on the card.”

You love how excited Jake gets when he bakes. He grins and does a little dance before adjusting his classes.

“Aw, I love this so much more than sitting at my office all day,” you glance at the cookies, licking your lips. “I shouldn’t eat more, but…”

“Free cookies for my girl,” Jake shoves another cookie in your mouth. “You’re perfect the way you are, Sweetie. Never let anyone tell you otherwise.”

Jake watches you munch another cookie. He just loves watching you relaxed and happy. “You are going to make me burp if you stuff me with more cookies!”

“I got cupcakes too,” he purrs and points at the cupcakes he baked this morning. “Which one do you want to taste first?”

“You’re a menace,” you sigh. “I can’t eat more, Jake. I love your food but, I’m full.”

“Alright. Jake and Y/N are not around. Now we can get to the plan,” Lloyd points out. “We need to strike hard and fast. I want a hand grenade in Captain Asshole’s ass within the next few days.”

“Lloyd, we talked about your anal fixation, didn’t we?” Andy rolls his eyes as his brother won’t stop making stupid plans. “Did you forget he’s living at the Avengers tower, surrounded by the Avengers? They have a Hulk; we only got you…and your mustache.”

“Ah, we got a little more than my mustache to beat the shit out of Captain America.” Lloyd unlocks his phone to show Andy the tank he got not months ago.

“You’ve got a fucking tank? Lloyd, did you lose your mind? You can’t buy a tank!” Andy throws his hands up as his brother is rather unimpressed. “I mean it!”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Andy,” Lloyd tuts. “I didn’t buy it. It was a gift from one of our business partners. They are very generous.”

“Yeah, because you fucked her,” Ari sneers. “I wouldn’t have poked that bitch with a stick.” He shudders.

“My dick made sure that we got a tank and a rocket launcher for free.” Lloyd proudly puffs his chest. “What?” He glares at Curtis. “Don’t act like you are better. You fucked every bimbo coming to your path.”

“Hmm…if you are busy fucking other girls, I can try to make a move on Y/N,” Mike says more to himself than his brothers. He nods, and already thinks about your first date. “I’ll ask her out.”

“Hey, we saw her first,” Ari and Curtis say in unison. “If anyone asks her out, it’s me.”

“Can you stop with the sync shit?” Lloyd wrinkles his nose. “I hate when you do this! And I’m the one who saw her first.”

“Jake saw her first,” Andy corrects. “But I don’t care. I think Pookie is the right girl for me. She’s smart, cute, and sweet. I like it.”

“You like to corrupt the sweet ones,” Curtis snaps at his brother. “You’ll keep your hands off her!”

“Guys! We made…” you burst into the room, grinning wildly. “You need to try the cupcakes Jakie made!” You frown as the brothers look like they were about to attack each other. “What’s wrong?”

“We tried to decide on what we want to order for dinner,” Lloyd lies. He doesn’t want you to know they were fighting over you. “How was your day, Cupcake?”

“It was great! I checked on the numbers for a few hours, and then Jake let me taste his cookies!”

Lloyd’s features darken. “He let you taste his cookies?” He cocks his head to size Jake up.

“Yeah. He made some with cinnamon and blueberries,” you excitedly tell the brothers about the cookies and cupcakes. “How about pasta for dinner?”

“If you want noodles, you’ll get them.” Lloyd purrs. “How about a real thick—” Andy slaps the back of his brother’s head to stop him from saying something stupid. “Let’s order takeout.”

“Let’s order food and have a…MOVIE NIGHT!” You clap your hands. “What do we want to watch?”

The brothers watch you with amusement as you walk around the room, telling them every detail about the movie you want to watch with them.

“You heard the lady,” Mike says. “We need to order food!”

Part 8

[cottagecheese1]

Hey, I wanna start by saying I love your work.

My guilt pleasure is your Unhinged Worlds series. A lot of Chris Evan’s characters don’t get much attention and I love that you cater to all and the spice is just amazing.

My request is if we could get more Johnny Storm x reader smut fics. Either outside of the series with a Friends with Benefits types situation where the reader has to be all serious with the avengers and Steve and so they go to Johnny when they wanna blow off some steam (or make some 😏) and they have have together but also smutty. Or if it’s within the Unhinged Worlds series maybe a standalone chapter with just Step Brother!Johnny and the reader, like after everything that’s happened he gets a bit jealous/possessive and while everyone else is out decides to fuck them ‘the right way’ and ravishes them with some extra hidden emotions, like he says sweet things while ruining them physically.

Idk, my brain has gone to a filthy place and your writing is just so good. Feel free to take your own way cause it’s your writing after all but I just need me some more Johnny smut, he needs some more appreciation.

Thank you so much, we love you.

unhinged words 5

a/n: I wanted you to know that your request motivated me to keep writing this series :) I just didn't think people were reading it, thank you! And I also agree, not too many good Johnny reads out there!

summary: A few years after your father died, your mother marries a new man, to you having a new family meant new beginnings, but what happens when your new beginning comes spiraling apart just because of the people that made them.

paring: dark stepdad Andy Barber x reader x dark dbf Lloyd Hansen x reader x dark stepbrother Johnny storm x reader x dark bbf Colin Shea. warnings- (DDLG undertones) stepcest, Johnny is NOT Andy's biological father, he is the adopted son. smut, do not engage if you are uncomfortable with any of the following, spanking, blackmail, p in v, edging, thigh riding, oral, fingering.

Series master list right here

Another day you have to go through this. Another day except you lay in the guest bedroom with Lloyds arm draped around your waist, his breathing light as his bare chest is pressed to your back. You sigh, but at least you finally have a moment to yourself. You think as you slowly roll onto your back, desperately hoping not to wake the sleeping man beside you. Lloyd groans as he feels you shift under his embrace, and he nuzzles into the crook of your neck, you feel his breath on your neck. It's annoying in a way, with your mind racing and with no way out at 7:00 in the morning.

You feel his arm tighten around you as he lets out a small huff, you glance over and see his eyes flutter open. He leans over a bit to press a small kiss to your temple and you swallow nervously, with your heart racing as his lips curve up in a small smile, his expression looking more than awake now.

Lloyd hums in amusement at your expression and leans a bit more over you, “morning pumpkin, I’m surprised you’re up this early..I did wear you out nicely last night didn’t I?”, he jokes as you cringe at his dirty reference.

You can’t help but scoff at the cheesiness of his words, which doesn’t seem to pass him easily as he suddenly grabs your face, forcing your lips into a pout. Lloyd strokes your cheek softly and chuckles gruffly, his morning voice still slightly present, “What? Not in the mood for a joke princess? That's alright, you're probably just hangry hm?.”, your stomach seems to grumble on cue, and you push his hand off your face with a whine, already frustrated by his teasing.

He laughs and gives you a playful scolding look, “aw, that's not very nice now is it princess? How about you use your words like a big girl, so we can start this day off on a good note.” You sit silently in protest, but your stomach speaks loudly to you. He smiles smugly and lays back against the pillows, “Or, we can sit here for as long as I like until you use that pretty voice”, you sit up and look at your chipped nail polish in a silent thought. Should you break? Give him what he wants so he knows you're weak?

You sit in thought, but your need for food takes your mind over as you sigh in defeat, looking over at Lloyd hesitantly, “Can we please go get some food.?” You state rather softly, and he perks up in amusement at your voiced request.

He sighs dramatically and reaches over to tuck a stray piece of hair out of your face, “We can..but I deserve a kiss first don’t I? For being so patient, since you were acting like a complete brat”, you sigh and close your eyes, not understanding why you guys can’t eat first and deal with this later. Slowly you lean over and press a small kiss to his cheek, but he pulls back with a laugh and a head shake, “now I said a kiss sugar. Not a cute little peck on the cheek, try again or I’ll teach you the right way.” He states more firmly, which makes you lean in a bit more hesitantly as you rest your hands on his broad shoulders and press your lips against his this time. In a hope he won’t make you do it again.

He puts his hand on the back of your head, pushing you deeper into the kiss as you let out a small whimper. You can’t help but melt into the kiss a bit as he supports your head gently and presses your body against his in a silent want. He pulls away and presses his lips against your forehead softly in satisfaction, “good girl, see? It wasn’t that bad now was it?”, you nod slowly as your cheeks flush at his pet name.

He hums in acceptance at your silent answer as he gets another quick glance at you before reaching over to grab his shirt to pull it over your head. You put your arms through the holes and turn away from him to get out of bed on weak legs, and get your shorts from yesterday off the floor. As you slide them up your legs, Lloyd comes up behind you and grips your hips gently as he pulls you against him, and leans down to pepper kisses on your neck gently which makes you shiver.

You walk through the door, and through the hallway, entering the kitchen. Lloyd follows behind you and you look up to see everyone doing their daily tasks until you two make your appearance, Andy perks up at the entrance and he chuckles, “Looks like you two are finally up..did you have fun honey?” He asks condescendingly as Lloyd walks past you to the fridge. You scoff a bit and look the other way, which doesn’t go unnoticed by him, he walks over slowly and tilts your chin up, “I’m not gonna be so nice next time you give me attitude, so how about you start behaving now hm?” you swallow nervously and nod slowly as your lips part slightly, “sorry..I..It was alright I guess” That was a lie. You hated every second in that room with Lloyd, but you couldn’t say that.

Right as Andy is fixing to respond, Johnny prances over with a smug smile and wraps his arm around your shoulder. This action weirdly made you feel a bit better, especially when Andy towers over you. Johnny hums, “why don’t you spend the day with me sweetheart, besides, everyones leaving this morning and it’ll just be me and you” Andy rolls his eyes at Johnny's words, looking at both of you before sighing, “Well, your not wrong, I have to go to work, and Lloyd is coming with me so it’ll just be you two”

I mentally sigh in relief and Andy leans in to kiss your forehead, “Be a good girl and listen to Johnny..” he then turns to look at Johnny, “you too, behave.” He chuckles and nods, pulling you closer to him, “Oh, we will..won’t we sweetheart?” You gulp and nod, forcing yourself to give a soft smile. At that Andy smiles in satisfaction and takes his leave out the front door, along with Lloyd following behind.

Johnny turns towards you and his eyes darken a bit, you take a step back and he follows right with you, he sighs dramatically, “You know..I’ve wanted you all to myself for so, so long and this is finally my chance. Those assholes can’t take you away from me now” You whimper at his words and keep backing up until you feel your back hit the wall, and he chuckles darkly while blocking you right against him.

He leans in closer and presses gentle but rough kisses on your neck, biting and marking you in the process. You try to look away while your voice cracks, “please don’t hurt me..” you plead softly. Johnny laughs and shakes his head, his lips right against your ear, “Oh no, no baby, the last thing I’m gonna do is hurt you tonight. I’m gonna fuck so good, but I’ll be nice and gentle, because I know thats exactly how my precious little angel likes it.” He coos mockingly and your cheeks can’t help but flush at his crude words.

“You're so cute you know that? I hate when those assholes treat you like a thrown around toy..but maybe I just want you all to myself you know?” He says more to himself than you, but still you gasp and keep quiet. He leans in to kiss you passionately and slowly leads you to his bedroom, taking your shirt off and groping your chest roughly as you whine at the sensitive pressure.

He lays you down gently on the bed as he pulls his sweatpants down, you glance down to see his thick cock bobbing against his stomach and you get a bit nervous. Johnny sees your expression and chuckles, “I know it's nothing you're used to but I told you I would take care of you angel, we’ll go slow okay?” His words make you feel a bit better as you nod, he moves his thigh between your legs to spread them apart.

You take a deep breath as he slowly inserts myself inside you, he groans in pleasure as tears brim in your eyes from the burning stretch from his cock. Johnny looks down at you and leans down to coo and wipe your tears gently, “Shh, it's okay Angel, it’ll feel good in a minute just give it time..You're being so good for me you know that?” You take a deep breath and nuzzle your face into his neck, his thrusts become a bit faster and deep. The pain slowly fades away and you let out a soft moan.

He smiles and pants a bit more as he groans in pleasure when he feels you squeeze around his cock, “Holy shit..you feel like heaven baby, I’m gonna keep you all to myself. Take you away from this place and fuck you whenever I want, because your mine. Hear that? Say it. Say your mine.” At this point the coil in your lower abdomen is slowly coming undone, and you moan loudly as your eyes roll back in pleasure.

“I’m yours! I’m all yours just please let me cum..” You plead desperately and Johnny moans in pleasure at your words as he comes closer to his release, “Fuck, I’m gonna cum angel..you want me to fill you up hm? Stuff you full so I can steal you away, so you can have my babies and take care of me? You’d fucking love that wouldn’t you?” His dirty words only make you whine in satisfaction as you finally unravel around him, gushing around his cock as he rocks into you, chasing his own release.

He slumps against you and you wrap your arms around him as he pants in satisfaction, “Good girl..that was amazing, you did so good for me too.” He praises you as you stop to catch your breath, the air lingers with sweat and sex, but you actually don’t seem to mind. Actually you seemed to enjoy this way more than you did with anyone else.

Johnny rolls next to you and pulls you to his chest, and you relax against him, for once you actually felt comfortable with someone in this house and who knew it would be Johnny. He reaches down to stroke your hair softly as he hums, “This is nice..just me and you, and I don’t have to share you with anyone, fucking fantastic right?” He chuckles and you nod. I guess he was right, You had way more of an enjoyable experience with Johnny, then anyone else, maybe this wasn’t as bad as you thought it was.

At Least with Johnny. You snuggle into him, and he smiles softly at your affections, he kisses your forehead before getting out of bed and he turns to look at you, “I’m gonna go get you some water..don’t miss me too much, okay?” he winks playfully, and he can’t help but smile at his lighthearted banter. Maybe this wasn’t so bad after all.

[rogerswifesblog]

1 - Better Than Boys

Series Masterlist

A/N: Hi! The first chapter of Better Than Boys! I Hope you’ll like it. There’ll be definitely a lot going on, def some huge dramas of course👀 inspired by this post and the many conversations we @jamneuromain had🤣

Please leave some feedback and reblog!

Pairing: Boyfriends!Dad! Andy Barber x reader

Warnings: boyfriends dad Andy, age gap (Andy mid forties, reader mid/early twenties) , smut, oral m receiving, daddy kink, ball and cock worship, cheating, guilt, angst

Friday evenings were movie nights at Jacobs. You were there. You brought popcorn. The movie had already started. You were cuddled up in a blanket on the couch in their living room. The pizza would be there soon, too.

Jacob wasn’t there.

Your boyfriend wasn’t home and forgot to tell you.

And you felt humiliated as soon as a confused Andy Barber opened the door.

“Oh hello Mr Barber! It’s nice to see you”, you greeted your boyfriend's father, who had just opened the front door. A slightly tired smile on his face, the dark circles under his eyes only confirming how little he slept in all the recent months he was busy with the divorce.

He opened the door a bit wider to let you in. “Hello, Sweets. Jacob left an hour ago. He said he’d be gone for a while”, he informed you, helping you take off your slightly wet jacket from the rain.

Confused, you looked up at the man. “He left? Oh, that’s…he’ll definitely be back soon. Fridays are movie nights, so he should definitely be back soon. I’d wait for him if that’s okay”, of course Andy let you stay. He’d let you stay any day at any hour, if he had to be honest with himself.

And he really shouldn’t feel like that.

“Jacob just called-he won’t make it. The rain is too heavy for him to drive so…he stays the night at his friends place..if you want I can drive you home”, said Andy entering the living room, making you jump in surprise, especially since you were currently watching a horror movie. You felt a blush creep onto your cheeks while you slowly looked back at the older man, before looking out of the window. The weather was awful, the whole world seemed gray and windy. It was raining cats and dogs. You definitely wouldn’t feel good making Andy drive in this weather.

Sighing, you shook your head. “No, I’d stay the night if that’s okay. It’s late and the rain is awful. I’d be worried when you’d have to drive home”, you shrugged, just when you turned your head back to the tv the possessed doll appeared scaring you enough to nearly make you drop the popcorn bowl.

At the same time Andy laughed in amusement. “ ‘Course you can stay. Do you mind if I accompany you? I’d love to take my mind off the horrors I’m going through and watch a real one-Annabelle, right?” “Yeah, I’d love some company”, you mumbled pulling the blanket higher to your face.

Andy sat down next to you with his own pizza, already having half of it eaten. “If you want some more help yourself, I won’t be able to eat both mine and JJs pizza”, you chuckled, but even to your ears it sounded stained.

“Sure, you can have some of mine, too, if you want”, he said, putting the box on the glass table in front of the couch. While he leaned back, his arm accidentally brushed over yours. Goosebumps erupted over your whole body. A shiver run down your back.

God, why couldn’t this stop? It happened every time Andy touched you, if by accident or not.

The occasional hugs to congratulate someone on your birthday, or well, Andy’s birthday. Every time that happened you felt your heartbeat quicken, your breath hitching and sometimes when he pulled you a bit tighter against him, even your pussy throb. He affected you in every way possible.

Twenty minutes later you decided to finally take a piece of Andy’s pizza, immediately feeling your mouth burn. “Holy shit-“, you coughed putting the piece back. Andy looked at you in surprise, partly because of the swear and also because of your coughing. “What-why is it so spicy”, you tried to clear your throat, but it only felt worse.

“Right I forgot-it’s probably because of the jalapeños and hot sauce, wait let me get you some milk. It should help”, with that he rushed to the kitchen filling you a glass of milk. As soon as he gave you the glass you chugged it down, some of the milk not even making it into your mouth, instead leaking from the corners of your mouth down your chin and throat, soaking the collar of your t-shirt.

And Andy was hard now.

He immediately looked away, not trusting himself with you around. Especially when you look like this. Wet from the milk, messy. What would happen if you’d suck his dick? Would you be this messy too? Would you let him finish on your face? Let him rub his cum into your skin? Mark you?

Fuck.

His dick twitched again and he really hoped you couldn’t see it when he covered himself with the blanket, also taking his pizza box to cover his crotch a bit more. Now you definitely wouldn’t notice it anymore.

“How can you eat these? I feel like my throat is bleeding”, you mumbled, drinking the last sip of your milk. “Don’t swallow-it will maybe help a bit better”, he couldn’t stop himself from licking over his own bottom lip when he saw your red, swollen lips. How badly he just wanted you to let him fill your mouth with- Andy, get a grip on yourself.

“Any better?”, he asked, feeling a bit bad having forgotten to tell you about the jalapeños on his pizza. You nodded slowly, feeling some of the milk leak from the corners of your mouth while you gulped down the milk again.

This time Andy couldn’t stop himself from brushing his thumb over the corner of your mouth, then over your lips before gently pushing his thumb into your mouth, pressing against your tongue. Noticing how you didn’t even move away. He could even feel like your tongue pushed against the tip of his finger.

You were looking right into his eyes, never breaking eye contact while you slowly sucked his thumb a bit further into your mouth. This time it was Andy’s breath that hitched. You were definitely doing this on purpose. Making him all hot and bothered.

Now that he thought about it, maybe it wasn’t the first time you tried to tease him.

Maybe the first time you did it was when you walked around the house just in an oversized t-shirt, your legs on full display and when you bent down to pick up the napkin you dropped he saw the lacy panties you wore.

Or maybe it was when you left your phone on the table with a picture in dark blue lingerie. A picture of you. He recognised the necklace you had on. A necklace he quickly bought after Jacob told him he had no gift for you. So technically…the necklace he gave you.

There had been so many times he had to control his damn dick when you were around, always bending down right in front of him or brushing your ass against him while passing by him.

“You little minx”, he didn’t even mean to say it, but the smirk he received made it clear you knew exactly what you were doing. He pulled out his thumb from your lips, not being able to stop now. The switch was now turned over, he couldn’t control it anymore. He needed you. To feel you. Your young, pretty body is against him. You soft, plump lips on his dick. Wanting to hear you moan. Make you cum, over and over again. Maybe he’d manage to get you to squirt. He was sure nobody had done it before. Not his son. He could hear the two of you sometimes-the walls were thin. Even just from hearing your fake moans he could tell you were pretending.

He wanted to hear the real moans. He wanted you to orgasm on his fingers, mouth, dick, face, whatever.

Andy grabbed your shirt, pulling you against his chest immediately pressing his lips to your in a demanding and wanting kiss. His tongue didn’t need to fight for dominance, already having won it. A gasp escaped your lips when he pulled you over his lap, instantly thrusting against your core, the blanket pulling down from your bodies.

Panting you started kissing his neck, gently sucking gentle marks beneath his collar since you didn’t want anyone to see them. Or well, just one person. His son. His son shouldn’t see the hickeys you were currently leaving on his fathers neck.

Fuck.

Only then did you really start thinking about that. About the fact that you kissed Andy Barber. Your boyfriend's dad. The man you had a crush on since the day you met him. The cause of your wet dreams. The cause of your best orgasms when you fucked yourself on your dildo, thinking about him.

A moan escaped Andy’s lips when your hand wrapped around his thick cock. You haven’t even noticed when you had pulled his sweatpants down-or did he do that? It didn’t matter anyway.

“Let me suck you off”, you whispered against his neck, licking over the mark you just sucked underneath his collarbone. By the thought of having your lips wrapped around his cock his hips bucked against your crotch again. “Fuck, yea Sweets, suck Daddy’s cock.”

He didn’t mean to say it. Until now he never even thought about referring to himself as daddy. It just slipped. Like he couldn't control his own brain to mouth filter anymore. Now he definitely scared you off, just when it started to get…interesting. But then again, he could’ve expected you’d surprise him once again.

As soon as he said that your eyes widened, a tingle spread in your chest. And a little smirk on your face. You couldn’t stop yourself from biting down on your bottom lip. “Sure, Daddy”, your voice was only a whisper while you slowly leaned down to his cockhead, the red tip already leaking in your palm while you slowly stroked his thick shaft. Your thumb brushing right along the vein that you’d love to feel against your throbbing cunt.

And Andy…was definitely bigger and better than Jacob, thicker, longer and slightly curved, perfect to hit the spot that neither you or Jacob could find.

You licked over the slit, tasting his precum on your tongue. Moaning quietly you licked slowly over his length, down to his balls, making him gasp. God, his bells were always so sensitive yet no woman ever gave them much attention until now. You started licking and suckling on them, especially when you felt him press your head harder into his balls, making you suck and lick on them greedily.

You were all enthusiastic, lacking the finesse of a more experienced person but the eagerness made up for it, especially when he felt how you nuzzled against his cock. How you worshiped his dick, playing with him, slurping and lapping his pre cum up, before once again trying to get as much of his balls in your mouth as possible.

When he looked down at you, your cheeks and lips were glistening with his pre-cum. “Fuck, sweets you’re so pretty when you’re on your knees for me”, he mumbled grabbing you by the hair and pulling a bit away, his other hand positioning his cocktip at your lips. “Now let Daddy check your throat”, a grin spread over his lips when you opened your mouth wide, letting him slid into your mouth, slowly fucking in deeper.

You let him thrust into your mouth as he pleased, first slow but getting faster and harsher with the second, especially after noticing the lack of your gag reflex. “Oh what a treasure you are, any man would love to call you his, you know that?”, he moaned, pushing you further down, till your nose touched his pubicbone. “Oh fuck-and that’s what you can do? Didn’t think I’d be even more jealous of my kid-and here you can deep throat me”, you felt blood rush to your cheeks listening to his words, at the same time wetness drenched your panties. “-my filthy little girl, my perfect girl”, he moaned, letting you come up for air.

A few more thrusts and he felt his balls tighten, coming closer to his orgasm, which you also noticed, touching his tight balls and massaging them. “Daddy-please”, you moaned before suckling again at his cock, greedy slurping moving your head quickly up and down, till his grip on your head hardened.

“Fuck-open wide Sweets, daddy has a gift for you”, he grunted and you immediately opened your mouth wider, letting him shoot his load on your tongue and face, stroking himself to the last drop dripped onto your face, before pulling his pants back on.

You smiled at him bashfully, swallowing his cum, while he leaned down and kissed your cum stained lips gently, his hands cupping your cheeks, slowly massaging the cum with his thumbs into your skin. Marking you. Just like he wanted to do it since he had met you. The endorphins filled the air between you, both of you smiling against each others lips.

He pulled you back onto his lap after pulling his sweatpants back up. “You’re amazing sweets”, he smiled, pecking your lips again. Butterflies erupted in your belly, instead of being comforting, only making it harder to breathe, as the truth slowly sank in. While he grabbed some napkins from the table you felt your blood run cold. The guilt creeps up, making your chest feel tighter. You didn’t say anything while he wiped off the cum from your face, somehow making you even more humiliated than when you had actually sucked his dick and he talked about his son, your boyfriend.

What the hell have you been thinking?

Just when he wanted to kiss you again you backed away, your heart feeling tight at the confused and sad face he made, while you slowly stood up from his lap, stepping away from him. “Where are you going? Are you-Y/N? Are you okay?”, he started asking softly, but nervous.

You backed away from Andy when he stood up, trying to gently take your hands, but you hastily pulled away. “Don’t-this-this was a mistake“ you whispered, tears welling up in your eyes. Of course Andy noticed, feeling his own throat getting tighter, not being able to make a sound. He opened his mouth but no words came out.

Without saying anything else you rushed into jacob's room, the door falling loudly shut behind you.

Andy felt his heart break into a thousand pieces as he watched you run from him. He dropped back onto the couch the feeling of warmth and comfort now replaced by devastation and regret.

What the hell had he just done?

The tears finally started falling, the quiet sobs leaving your mouth while you slowly slid down the door, pulling your legs up close to your chest. The taste of his cum still in your mouth, reminding you of what you just did. The humiliation finally hitting you hard. Everything coming up. You were pathetic.

God.

No.

What have you done??

No, no, no.

This was such a huge mistake.

You cheated on your boyfriend.

You fucking cheated on your boyfriend with his dad.

The worst part of it was…

You didn’t regret what happened with Andy.

You regret being in a relationship with Jacob in the first place.

Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it and are curious what happens next!

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Taglist: @wintasssoldier @shmaptain-ashmerica [ I tagged you because I saw you commented/reblogged the series Masterlist once:)]

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[thefallennightmare]

Guilt

When a murder hits the small-town reader lives in and personally attacks the family she works for, she would never image the toll that it would take on her as well. But not for the reason people would think. The last thing Reader thought she would find herself in during the murder trial was falling in love with her boss, Andy Barber and him returning those feelings.

| ONE | TWO | THREE | FOUR | FIVE | SIX | SEVEN | EIGHT | NINE |

| TEN | ELEVEN | TWELVE | THIRTEEN | FOURTEEN | FIFTEEN |

 |SIXTEEN | SEVENTEEN | EIGHTEEN | NINETEEN| TWENTY|

|TWENTY-ONE| TWENTY-TWO | TWENTY-THREE | TWENTY-FOUR|

|TWENTY-FIVE| TWENTY-SIX| TWENTY-SEVEN | 

|TWENTY-EIGHT| TWENTY-NINE | THIRTY | THIRTY-ONE[END]

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Don't Speak 38

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, obsession, stalking, manipulation, reclusive behaviour, disordered eating, dissociation, allusions to abuse, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Reader is a reclusive loner who ventures down to the library on a simple mission. Her task is complicated by the man she meets there. (f!short!reader)

Character: librarian!Andy Barber

Note: new year, same Andrew.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you all. Take care. 💖

You bend over the tub, testing the temperature with your fingertips. That incessant flutter doesn't quit. Your stomach is all topsy turvy. With guilt, with shame, with anxiety.

Every word Andy said echoes in your head. His pain, his anger, and that other thing that always overrides the rest; neediness. He doesn't want, he needs. Everything.

Before you can stand, something caresses your lower back. You squeak and stand so fast it makes you dizzy. As you face Andy, your feet tangle in each other.

He's already down to his boxers. You don't see the rest of his clothes, he must've come like that. You give a sheepish smile and press against the side of the tub.

He grins but winces. He turns to check his reflection, leaning in as he touches his swollen cheek. Another strike of guilt razes your body.

He backs away from the mirror and drops his hands. You look off as he feels along the front of his underwear. You don't know why it still makes you so… nervous.

He pulls the fabric down and you sidle along the tub. You can't get past him. He looms over you and brushes close as he peers into the water.

“No bubbles?” He says.

You flinch and clasp your hands together, “sorry, I–”

“I'm teasing, honey,” he touches your shoulder, rubbing the fabric of your sleeve between his fingers, “you're going to join me, right? You said…”

“Yeah, yeah,” you squeak, “I just… you get in first…”

He lingers but only for a moment. He turns as you avoid looking directly at him. You push away the thoughts that battle against each other. Those fearful ones which note the strength corded in his muscles, and those other, curious and confused. The one's not innately attached to him which often wander to another. Someone you shouldn't think of like that.

You chew your lip as you muster what courage you have left. Much of it was spent simply knocking on his door. You've never been very brave, have you?

You pull your blouse off first. The short exhales that hisses beneath the noise of the faucet tickles your ears. You know he's watching you. That makes your hands shake.

You fold the crisp white blouse over the end of the counter and undo the top button of skirt. You shimmy out and lay it with the top. Then you pull the stockings down your legs, leaning on the counter for more than balance.

You stand in your plain white bra and panties. Andy clucks as the water stirs.

“We should get you some cute bras to go with your panties,” he says, “maybe pink?”

You swallow. You don't know what to say. He's being provocative and you know it.

“I like purple better,” you say as you steel yourself and unhook your bra. You hesitate before you let it fall away.

“Purple is nice too,” he agrees. “Honey…”

He leans back and reaches his arm over the edge of the tub. You turn to him, fingers on the then scalloped elastic of your panties. You're being good. You won't argue. You won't hurt him again.

You roll down your panties and leave them on the tile. You have to keep from sprinting away and make yourself go forward. You approach the tub and he reached for you. You accept his large hand as you step over the wall of the tub.

He purrs and guides you down, his other hand tracing along the curve of your hip and side. You sit between his legs as he makes room for you. He's rigid against your back, twitching as he eases you to recline against his stomach.

He sighs as the tension slowly leaves his muscles. His hands wander along your lower stomach. You try to keep from locking up but your stiff and startled. He cups your chest and wiggles beneath you. Your heartbeat hammers.

“You nervous?” He chuckles into your hair.

You nod and gulp loudly.

“Why, baby? We've done it all before.”

“I… know,” you quiver, “but… it's still new to me.”

He laughs again, his thumbs rolling around your nipples until they're hard.

“That's good. To feel that way. That excitement,” his timbre is silty and deep, “you know I feel the same. I can't get enough because every time feels just as good as the first.”

“Oh, uh, yeah,” you agree weakly. You waych the water rise and squirm, “it's going to overflow.”

You try to sit up but he holds you down for a moment. Keeping you against him, just a second, as if to say, I am letting you get away. You rise up and twist off the faucet as his fingertips dancing up and down your back.

You lay back again and he groans. His swollen dick bobs between you. He curls and arm across your stomach, his other hand dipping beneath the water to knead the side of your ass. He nuzzles your crown as the rumble in his chest gets louder.

“Will you put me in?” He asks.

You don't know what he means. Not at first. Not until he shifts his hips, lifting you slightly so his tip prods along your cheeks. You grasp the edge of the tub as your eyes round.

“Please, I just want to feel you.”

You nod, speechless. You ache at the thought. You don't think your ready for him. Have you ever been?

You push your hand under the water and angle around. You find him and line him up with your cunt. Even submerged, you're dry. You tilt your hips and rub his head along your lips, trying to work up to it.

You feel his impatience as he rocks his hips, prodding again. You hold your breath and angle him against your entrance. It burns just to get his head in you. You pull back and try again, a little further but just as fiery.

Slowly you get him, halfway as he growls and once more fondles your chest. He tilts from below, moving his hips steadily until he chafes past your resistance. You whimper but try to make it sound less agonized.

“Mmm,” he buries himself to his limit, well past your own. Tears bobble on your eyes. “I could stay just like this. How about you, honey?”

You nod and tamp down the pain, “yes… An–honey.”

He doesn't move. He keeps you flush as he continues to feel you up. He reaches down to knead your thighs and your hips, tickles your stomach, gropes your chest, and finally, settles a hand across your throat. He purrs and kisses your hair.

“You make me feel so… big,” he growls.

And he makes you feel insignificant. You let out a moan and nod above his knuckle. He squeezes just enough for you to gasp.

“I'm not going to hurt you…” he says, the last of his words dangle unsaid; not like you did me.

You stay still as his thumb presses under your jaw. You can breathe, just barely. He presses his nose into your hair and groans and he pulls himself out of you, just to his tip, then eases back in. You puff out a breath as your hand falls to grip his hips beneath you.

“Shhh, baby, you relax,” he coos as he thrusts again, long and slow, as if he knows it's torture, as if he's drawing his vengeance. “Fuck, you're so tight around me…”

He continues at the pace. Deliberate and devious. You feel your walls stretch with each plunge into you, your back wracks with tension.

You try to breathe through the torment. You can't as he picks up his tempo, pulling out slow only to snap back into you. His pelvis makes you sore with each dip inside.

The water swirls and splashes as his breath hitches. Your own is trapped as his hand becomes a vice around your neck. You wheeze as he bucks into you from below, jolting your entire body with each thrust. He growls and snarls and sneers as he uses you to his delight. To your horror.

You close your eyes and give in. You go limp as you let him have you. As you try to make yourself feel as good as he does. Why can't it feel nice for you?

You clamp around him as a vision flickers across your eyelids. One that makes you squeak. That has you clutching at Andy's thick wrist, trying to swallow down air.

No, no, you shouldn't, but it feels better with those thoughts. You don't feel so worn out. You feel almost giddy to think of him instead.

You squeeze Andy's arm and a moan escapes his grip. Steve, oh Steve. You see his blue eyes watching you. Feel his hands petting you. Gentle, not rough.

The bathroom disappears and is replaced with a new scene. The leather couch in Dr. Kemp's office. He's there with you, on top of you, holding you. And you like it.

The pressure builds in your core as he writhes with you. As you intertwine in pleasure, working as one, not against each other. You're chest is ready to burst as he pecks along your forehead and cheek, coaxing you as his warm cologne tinges your senses.

“Good girl,” he slithers into your ear.

Something in you snaps. Just like with the toy but better. More intense.

Your eyes open wide and you gasp out as you're swept up in the rolling tide. Your hand drops from Andy’s wrist as you let him choke the words you dare not say. Steve, Steve, Steve…

Your orgasm piques quickly and just as suddenly fizzles out. A glimmer against the gray reality. Your head swells as the pain seeps back in.

You're bad. You're very bad. If Andy knew… he can't. You promised not to hurt him again. So you won't let him ever find out.

🕊

You work at layering the flat noodles, sauce, and cheese. Lasagne has always been a favourite, Amber's especially. But you can try your best.

The fragrance of tomato and basil waft in the air. You focus on the task. It's easy to appreciate the simple things when there is so much around that's complicated.

As you lay down the last layer of cheese, you check the temperature on the stove. It's not done preheating. You'll have time to wash up a bit.

You rinse the silicon spatula, a pot, a pan, and a bowl. You dry your hands as the stove beeps and reach for the heavy pan of pasta. As you move to put it in the stove, your thighs squeeze together and remind you of the less simple tasks.

You shut the oven door and cling onto the handle and bask in the warmth. You close your eyes. You haven't slept much in the last few days. Each time you try, he wakes you again.

That day could’ve been a renewal. With Andy working again, you have hours to yourself, but when you did try to doze, you were kept awake with dread. You feel yourself cracking again but you won't let it show. Not this time.

You look over at the knife block. Your eyes stick there. You try not to think of blades or their edges on your skin. You shudder and shake your head.

The front door pulls you back. You turn as you hear Andy in the entryway. You rush out to meet him. He puts his bag down and lets you help him out of his coat. As you hang it, his hand wanders under your skirt and he pinches your ass.

“Something smells good,” he sniffs emphatically.

“Lasagne,” you draw away and smile at him.

“Mmm,” he hums as he looks at you, “dove…” he has a devilish twinkle in his eye, “you know… tomorrow is Friday.”

“Yes,” you confirm tenuously.

“So, well… would you want to do something special?”

“Special?” You echo him, your stomach starting up again.

“If I asked you a favour… it's been a long week, you know, so I was… hoping you might take some of the load off,” he explains, “but it's something fun.”

“Okay?”

“Tomorrow, when I get home, will you… will you wait for me naked?” His cheeks tint red just sligthly as he smirks guiltily.

You blink as your brows pop up. You didn't expect that. You couldn't even think of something like that.

“I… I guess,” you press your sweaty palms to your skirt, “I could…”

“And when I come in, you can undress me too,” he steps close, his hands on your hips, “one piece at a time…”

“Sure,” you eke out.

“And you'll kiss me?”

You nod.

“And take care of me?”

Another nod.

“You're so good to me, dove,” he purrs as he cradles your chin, forcing your head up, “I have another surprise for you.”

He lets the statement hover as he kisses you. He sways you as he wraps you up in one arm. His tongue invades your mouth, nearly gagging you, but you're getting better. You don't even murmur as the gross sliminess.

He finally parts and you catch your breath. He bites his lip as he looks you up and down again. He smiles and inhales deeply, his chest rising and falling in content. He tugs on his belt, wiggling his hips as you ignore the bulge in his pants.

He turns and reaches for his bag. He slips his hand into the top and slides a shape out. It's your tablet. He holds it just out of your grasp as he faces you.

“You've been doing so good. I'm… sorry I took it,” he offers it to you. “I was upset and afraid. I know now how much you love me, dove.”

You put your hand on the other side but he doesn't let go. He keeps you deadlocked as he grips the case tight.

“But you should only talk to Dr. Kemp in session. I think that's best,” he girds.

"I understand,” you try not to rip the tablet away. You can't help but be desperate for it. You haven't drawn in so long.

“Good,” he lets go and you hug the tablet to your chest.

You smile and look down at the top of the case. It's a small victory. Just like the fading bruises on his face.

“Honey,” your heart leaps as you start before you can stop yourself. No, it's too much but you have to ask. While he's happy. “Can… can my sister come over? Next week?”

“Amber,” his smile falls in an instant, “I don't know… feels too soon.”

“Okay,” you accept. You know better than to argue, “but eventually?”

His brows lower and his cheek dimples, “how about we chat with Dr. Kemp about it?”

You could jump! It's not a yes but isn't a no either.

“Yes, honey, we can do that,” you recite.

“We…” he smiles, “we can.”

[i-have-a-wonky-eye-too]

The Florist next-door... Part 12

Andy Barber x reader series

<Part 11<

Warnings: 18+ readers only, swearing, mentions of sex, cheating, violence, plot twist!!, Neal being an ass, crying, angry!Andy, (GIF not mine)

Andy drew in a deep breath, smiling to himself as he walked down the hallway. He ignored the stares and whispers, no longer caring what other people thought of him. He was one step closer to being with you and that's all that mattered.

"Hey, Barber!"

Andy's eyes fell shut as he drew in another deep breath before looking back at Neal with a frown. "Neal." He nodded before facing the elevator doors again.

"Hey. I hear you're not coming back." He said. "What gives?"

Andy shrugged, "Just, moving on to better things, that's all, Neal."

Neal nodded, "Sure, I get it..." Neal stood by Andy's side and eyed him out the corner of his eye. He began smirking to himself. "You know your hot neighbor?" He asked as they walked onto the empty elevator.

Andy frowned, "Y/N? What about her?"

"You seen her dating anyone recently?" Neal asked. "I've been thinking 'bout asking her out."

Andy's hands balled up at his sides, "No, I haven't." He cleared his throat. "She's not really shown any interest in anyone after what her ex-husband put her through." He began to smile to himself as he looked down at his feet. "And, don't take this the wrong way, Neal, but I don't think you're her type."

Neal nodded, "Right. Sure... So, what is her type? Married men?" He smirked to himself.

Andy turned to face Neal with a growl.

"Okay, listen," Andy pushed Neal back against the side of the elevator. "What you think you know about, me and Y/N, you don't. So fuckin' keep your mouth shut." Andy glared at him.

Neal began grinning. "I didn't mean anything by it, Andy."

"Bullshit. She told me what you said to her." Andy jabbed his chest. "You leave her alone, understand?"

"See. It's stuff like that, that makes people think the two of you are screwing." Neal smirked at him.

Before Andy could say anything else the doors began to open. If it wasn't for the people that were waiting to get in the elevator, Andy would have kicked Neal's ass.

"Juat leave her alone." Andy stepped back from him and stormed out of the elevator.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Y/N!" Jacob shouted down to you from his bedroom window.

You looked up as you shut your car door, "Jacob." You smiled up at him. "What's up?" You asked.

"Can you help me?"

"With what?" You asked.

"This stupid game." He huffed. "I'm still stuck on the same level I was the other day." He frowned.

"Oh," You looked over to the empty drive. "I... Can't really, Jacob, I-"

"Please," He pleaded, giving you his best puppy dog look.

You groaned and looked back over to the empty drive. "Fine. Five minutes." You said firmly.

"YES!" Jacob cheered as you made your way over to the front door.

You hated being inside that house. It reminded you that Andy wasn't yours and filled you with guilt. But you couldn't say no to Jacob, and it wasn't like Laurie was home.

"Go that way... Then, down there." You pointed on the screen. "Then round the corner, but stay low." You smiled as Jacob followed your instructions. "That's it." You looked out of the window at the sound of a car pulling up and frowned. "Shit." You whispered and looked back at Jacob. "I should get going, Jacob. Your mom's home." You frowned.

Jacob grunted as he continued to play his game. "I wouldn't leave yet. She'll only be mean to you if she bumps into you." He frowned.

"What difference does it make if I stay here? I can't run if I do."

"She won't come in here." He looked at you over his shoulder. "Trust me."

You nodded and briefly looked at his closed bedroom as if Laurie was just going to walk in and start trouble before focusing back on Jacob and the game.

The front door slamming shut caught your attention before you heard two pairs of hurried footsteps running up the stairs along with laughing before another door was slammed shut. You raised your eyebrow and looked at Jacob as he looked over his shoulder.

After a couple of minutes, the unmistakable sound of moans and bed springs began to come through the walls making both you and Jacob look towards the door shocked.

"Ew, tell me they're not." Jacob groaned dropping his head into his hands.

You gulped feeling your heart break at the thought of Andy breaking his promise to you. Tears formed in your eyes as you heard Laurie moan in pleasure in the next room.

Why would he do this? He said he loved you. He promised he didn't love her anymore.

Your cell began to go off beside you on Jacob's bed startling both of you. You quickly grabbed it, clearing the lump that had formed in your throat and answered it.

"Hello?"

"You're not, Jacob." Andy said taking you by surprise.

"Shit," You looked back down and realised you had picked Jacob's cell up instead. "Sorry, Andy, I thought it was mine." You said catching Jacob's attention.

He frowned, "That dad?" He asked confused, still hearing his mom next door.

Your brow creased, "Wait. Where are you?"

"Almost home. Why? Where are you and Jacob?"

Your eyes widened, "Oh, hmm- JACOB!" You called out trying to stop him as he shot up out of his seat knocking his stuff over. You followed after Jacob, unable to stop him as he barged into his parents bedroom. "Oh, no," You looked away.

Jacob froze as he witnessed the handy man (who you had recommended to Andy months ago) jump off the top of his mom and the pair scrambled to cover themselves with the covers.

"WHAT THE HELL, MOM?!" Jacob screamed at her.

"Jacob!" Laurie looked at both of you panicked. "What's she doing here?" She scowled at you.

You scoffed and grabbed Jacob. "Really? You've got the handy man, balls deep in you and I'm still the bad guy. Fuck you, Laurie." You spat.

You moved Jacob down the stairs and out the door just as Andy pulled up in the drive way next to Laurie's car. You groaned and looked back at the house, this was not going to go well.

"What's going on?" Andy asked as Jacob ran up to him and wrapped his arms around his waist, finally letting his tears fall. "Sweetheart?" Andy looked at you.

You gulped as you looked at him. "Uh, you need to stay calm, please, Andy."

"Why?"

Before you could open your mouth, Laurie raced out of the house panicked, wrapped in a robe and barefoot, with the handy man following after her, still trying to dress himself, only to come to a stop as they came face to face with Andy.

"Andy, I can-"

Before you could register what was happening, Andy had pushed Jacob into your arms and marched over to where the half naked handy man stood beside Laurie and punched him in the face. You covered Jacob's face as Andy repeatedly hit the man, over and over as Laurie screamed at him to stop.

"Make him stop, Y/N. Please." Jacob pleaded.

You nodded and cupped his face, "Go to mine." You ordered softly and pushed him towards your house. You took a deep breath and walked over to Andy. You reached out and grabbed his hand as he pulled it back to hit the man again. "Andy, stop."

He looked at you over his shoulder, his eyes wild like a mad man before he slowly calmed down and let the man go. He nodded and stood up looking back at Laurie angrily. "Get your shit, and get out! I want a divorce!"

You looped his arm around your shoulders and your arm around his waist and together you made your way to yours. You chose to ignore the stares from the neighbours that stood out in the street watching things unfold as you walked inside your home and shut the world out.

"Dad?" Jacob stared at Andy from the kitchen.

Andy looked at him and shook his head, tears finally falling as Jacob ran up to him and wrapped his arms around the pair of you. "M'sorry," Andy whispered, wrapping you in his arms too.

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