#guess who's finally learnt how to use tumblr

[lisafication]

This post is uh, extremely normal I swear

So hello yes I am absolutely On My Bullshit regarding my new favourite game. 

That’s right, it’s the cannibal incest game, The Coffin of Andy and Leyley. And I’m here to shove five thousand words of pretentious analysis down your throat because, and I do not exaggerate, I think it is one of, if not the best written game I have ever played. And I have played a lot of games, including Baldur’s Gate 3, Final Fantasy XIV and Undertale, to name a few narrative luminaries to come to mind.

That wordcount is not an exaggeration. My brainworms are extremely powerful and now you can share them with me as I walk you through my insane skyscraper of inference-driven analysis.

Or you can click away. I really wouldn’t blame you, it’s quite a lot.

Content Warnings: …Yes?

(To drop the bit for a moment, The Coffin of Andy and Leyley covers extremely disturbing material and challenges you to examine aspects of living in this world that many have taken for granted all their life, it is not a comfortable game, this will cover similar topics and will often echo the game’s unremitting scepticism on basic principles of society and humanity and you should look after yourself first. My Content Warning is framed as a joke, but it’s also quite real in that the game is designed to make you uncomfortable and there’s no shame in that not being for you.)

This was originally posted on and formatted for Sufficient Velocity, and you can probably more easily read and discuss it with me here.

With that said, let’s dig in. I have had to split this into multiple posts because tumblr will only allow so many images. There will be spoilers for all endings.

She’s excited, are you?

It’s All About Ashley

It really is, isn’t it? I mean, for approximately eighty percent of the total game as currently released and the entirety of Episode 1, you’re in control of Ashley, just as she’s in control of her and Andrew’s relationship for 80% of the game, up until the various ending sequences where it begins to slip. The only other characters who really matter at all in and of themselves are Andrew and her mother — and the former is under her thumb, and she eats the latter. It’s all about Ashley. Even her obsession with Andrew is, ultimately, about Ashley.

But who is Ashley? What is Ashley? Why is Ashley, even? Let’s take a look.

Ashley as presented to us in Episode 1 is very straightforward, so let’s list off the traits we’re given — she is malicious, she is fearless, she lacks empathy, she doesn’t have anything resembling a conscience, she demands Andrew belong to her and her alone, she has him at her beck and call.

In Episode 2, we’re ostensibly shown how she has him at her beck and call— she leverages the threat of reporting Nina’s death over him and had him swear to be with her forever. We’re shown that even as a child she was “just, like that” — but as a child, she hadn’t learnt to live with it yet, to laugh at the farce of it all.

Yeah, exactly like that!

And she does this throughout Episode 1 — The Coffin of Andy and Leyley is a remarkably silly game much of the time, finding moments of absurdity and levity against a backdrop blacker than pitch — and most of the time, your internal narration is coming from Ashley and the jokes will not-infrequently come at her own expense.

She will later get negged by her human sacrifice for her poor ritual circle drawing

Her reaction to being told that her soul is as dark and viscous as tar is “You guess you already knew that” — it’s confirmation to her, not new information. Ashley knows who she is. But who taught her this? There’s layers to this, nothing in this game is as simple and straightforward as it appears at first sight, which is why I’ve been obsessing over it for days.

While it’s common in fiction, the truth of the matter is, most ‘bad people’ really do think they’re good people. But Ashley has never once thought of herself as a good person — or perhaps better put as a person worthy of love — as we learn across Episodes 1 & 2, with our flashbacks to Andy and Leyley and the VERY VERY QUIET!!!

I really wish I had space in this essay to talk about this, but I’d like to touch on these being traits usually more easily forgiven in young boys than young girls at some point.

If she removes all other options, only then can she expect him to like her.

This is something that is echoed in the modern day — her seeming self-assurance is easily shaken and she reaches out to the world — usually Andrew — to affirm and validate her, soothing her insecurities, using any tool she deems necessary. Even when her life is on the line when Andrew has her by the throat at the climax of Episode 1, the only ‘compelling reason’ she can give Andrew to not kill her is her ability to soothe his nightmares. When he tells her there are sleeping pills for that…

Most people would have a bit more to argue for their existence.

While she, unlike Andrew, acknowledges having had friends before the quarantine… you know she’s got a point that they didn’t even bother to answer her calls, that was clearly not something the state was interfering with given Andrew’s calls with his mother and his girlfriend, and given her general demeanour it’s not hard to imagine that… they weren’t ever very close. When we see her and Nina talk in the infamous ‘box scene’, it’s clear that Nina doesn’t like her very much, despite Andrew’s assessment of Nina as being one of Ashley’s friends.

We see further support for her general lack of companionship in her dream sequence in the Burial route — Leyley and Leyley Alone. No matter what you do, you can’t place the pink plushy at the family table, the flowers won’t bloom if you give the Julia and Nina plushies her own as a companion instead of Andrew’s — and if you’re bold enough to go for the ‘incest route’, in the ‘Love’ room you see that no one ever looks happy to be with her in the childlike depictions of her history, nor is she happy in turn, save for when she’s with Andrew. In a bit of heavy-handed metaphor, the player then overwrites all of these tense, upset, hard moments with Andrew, having him fill in for everyone else in life — and happy with her.

Once Upon A Lousy Life…

THE END

And that’s why she needs him to affirm her, because no one else ever has and no one else ever will. It’s even included in their comic beats — when the siblings are getting along well, they’ll often play a game where Andrew dramatically overpraises Ashley while she demands more; it’s a comedic bit but I mean — it really does matter to her!

For the record, she opened a door. She gets a little heart in a speech bubble after this exchange.

We have a great example of this dynamic, that of insecurity and affirmation, in Episode 1, after Andrew has killed for her, butchered for her, his girlfriend broke up with her, he’s seemingly thrown his entire life away for her… she’s still insecure over her relationship with him, she’s uncertain of her control and she needs him to reaffirm it for her.

This is her victory, surely?

Andrew affirms her once, with his usual dead-eyed look.

But she's still not so sure.

He actively reaches out to affirm her again with cheer.

Look how happy she is!

While it’s most obvious and clear cut here, it’s hardly the only case. Let’s look back to the aftermath of Andy and Leyley and the VERY VERY QUIET!!! (I’m not using the other name). Leyley is, after similarly extreme acts — he murdered a girl and hid her body for her — convinced Andy doesn’t like her and she needs this leverage to keep him around, to meet her basic needs for survival. Because that’s what this is — she receives no care of affection elsewhere, so she forces it out of the only source she sees available through the means she sees as necessary.

I really hope we see some of their earlier childhood in Episode 3

What exactly made her like this? Was it just neglect, or something more specific…

She needs this to be the case because otherwise she doesn’t believe he’d stay.

This pattern repeats throughout — Ashley’s insecurities are hit on and she reaches out to Andy to affirm that she is not alone, and she will use any and every tool to exploit her ostensible control over him and force him to be what she needs him to be — and as long as she has that, as long as she is everything to him and it’s not possible for him to leave, she’s happy. As long as she thinks he loves her in her very particular, very peculiar view of love, she’s content, come what may. As long as Andy and Leyley are together, they can take on the world.

Let’s talk about that view of love, because there’s always more layers to unpack here I’m only scratching the surface with this essay — Ashley consistently refers to anyone else Andrew may have befriended or spent time with as a whore, a slut, a bitch — highly gendered insults that bring to mind the idea that he’s cheating in some way. But it’s not even about sex — when Andrew mentions that their parents had friends, she accuses them of cheating on each other in the same way!

There’s a lot to unpack about Ashley’s view of femininity and the role the patriarchy plays in their relationship.

Any kind of emotional engagement, any kind of commitment, any kind of life outside of your significant other is, to Ashley, cheating. Because that’s what she needs from Andrew, a seeming complete and total commitment, secure in her place as the only thing in his life, because she cannot understand anyone picking her if they have a choice.

This insecurity she has in her relationship is what drives her to empower the trinket — he can’t leave her as long as she can protect him with prophetic dreams, after all. She needs every kind of leverage she can get because until she succeeds in being everything to him, in devouring him so completely she has him in her thrall mind, body and soul she can’t be sure of herself — hell, her dream sequence in Burial has you placing Andrew’s signature green plushy, ‘the best thing in the world’ in a cage far away from anything else.

Ultimately, it really is all about Ashley — even her seeming obsession with Andrew ultimately comes back to her own insecurities. If she is everything to ‘the best thing in the world’, some of that ‘best’ must surely reflect on her! 

But that’s enough about the more normal, straightforward and understandable sibling. 

That was not a joke.

Andrew’s Rank 100 Deception

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he did not exist.

Let me explain.

You might have noticed that in the previous section I often use language such as ‘ostensibly’ or ‘seemingly’ to describe Andy and Leyley’s relationship, and there’s a good reason for that. From the beginning of the game through to its end, Andrew is lying to you, the player, without ever falsely representing or misinforming you about events that occurred.

The common, or obvious ‘initial take’ on Andrew as presented in Episode 1 is fairly straightforward. The game primes you to think this way, it frames things and strings reveals just right so as to make it very easy to overlook the incongruities it introduces in Episode 2. He’s a victim. Plain and simple, Ashley is his abuser and he is her victim and would be fine, a normal albeit kinda depressed guy without her.

It really is not a difficult conclusion to draw

You can go all the way through the game, have him try to accept his mother’s olive branch and enter the Decay route as a method for him to finally actualise his desire to get out from Ashley’s thumb and it makes sense, it’s a reasonable way for the story to go, given his character.

You see him this way because the game primes you in Episode 1 to view their relationship like Andrew does — he’s lying. He’s lying to himself, he’s lying to Ashley and he’s so good at it — Deception Rank 100 — he even lies to you. Without misrepresenting a single event or otherwise misleading you directly, the game gets you to buy into his preferred self-perception. Nina? Ashley. Julia? Ashley. The murders they commit in the course of the game? Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, it’s not his fault he’s not to blame he’s just a doormat at the beck and call of his demonic sister.

But he wants to be there. From the very outset, the very first puzzle, that’s made clear. Does anyone else remember this exchange, from right at the beginning of the game?

Ashley wants to investigate the music!

Andrew disapproves…

…Or does he?! 

Like. Listen. Okay. You do not frown when saying ‘Nope’ and then smile when saying that you’ll instead tag along if they do it if your heart is at all in the no. That’s not an objection, that’s using Ashley as his excuse. Especially if you immediately throw her the balcony key that she could not possibly have gotten from you by force (more on Andrew’s ability to use force later).

This is the very first time you control both characters together with Andrew following Ashley instead of off on his own, the first adventure, the first puzzle! 

But put a pin in that for now, let’s talk about his initial framing in Episode 2 first. Episode 1 has set us up to, generally speaking, believe the superficial framing of the siblings as portrayed in its promotional art:

The question that we then ask, right at the heart of it is… why is he a doormat? We explore this in his dream sequence in Episode 2, which does make it clear that the boy’s not okay but— it’s real easy, given the priming from Episode 1 to make you think that he’s the one with the originally functional moral compass, to think that that him being fucked up is damage done to him by Nina’s death and being bound to Ashley for his entire life. She corrupted him.

But, well, is that the case?

You're primed to ignore this as manipulation (which it is) but the best manipulation has some truth to it.

Precisely two things spur Andrew to action in the entire game, consistently — they are the fear of consequences and Ashley. And the first incident of that fear, the very first time we’re shown his seeming moral compass as a kid — the first time it’s really hammered home that it’s a fear of consequences rather than any true moral qualms is after Nina’s death. And why does he fear consequences here?

……

The ‘natural’ read that many take away from this sequence, particularly those who have only played Decay, is that Ashley browbeat him into doing this against his will, using emotional blackmail to overwhelm his objections, and then used the event itself to bind him to her forever as her personal doormat.

In a strict sense, this is true. But this doesn’t match up with the details, something the game uses shock to encourage you to overlook. That outburst is before any kind of threat has been made, and absolutely nothing either of them say anything about it being morally bad until Ashley weaponises ‘you’re a bad person’ against Andrew — morality didn’t seem to enter his mind or the equation at all until Ashley brought it up. More than that, his greatest fear and driving motivation even prior to that is, as shown above, being taken away from Ashley.

She, of course, recognises this and uses it against him. But she never needed to, it didn’t change anything about Andrew’s attachment to her, it was there to address her own insecurities.

Just like to touch on how a lot of his affirmations are preceded by him confirming her insecurities.

I adore this phrasing

There’s a second prong to this as well, to the question of ‘who really calls the shots here’ because — Andrew can, at any stage, apply an ‘ultimate veto’ of physical violence. The game is very clear to the player that that is on the table — even when they were children, when Andy swears their blood oath, he briefly considers killing her — and take note of how he ultimately got a ‘winning’ condition out of her by not specifying there wouldn’t be others and she is forced to accept that, there. Even outside of their most serious confrontations, Ashley is portrayed as having to convince, manipulate or otherwise coerce Andrew into going along with her schemes — she really can’t make him do anything, she doesn’t have the supremacy in violence and, to a lesser extent, capability that would allow her to. 

Andrew, you are like ten years old.

The truth of the matter is, Ashley can only make Andrew do anything because he lets her. I don’t mean in the sense that I’m saying abuse victims let their abusers emotionally abuse them, I mean in the sense that he is clearly considering his options on the table and choosing to discard those that could stop her, or bring an end to any of this. He needs her.

But it’s true that he hates her, too. He has to hate her, because if he doesn’t hate her, if he isn’t forced to have done this, that means… he’s responsible. And nothing, at the start of the story, is as important to Andrew as avoiding the consequences of his own actions, not even Ashley. By the midpoint, he loves her, he hates her, he can’t live without her, he wants to kill her — by the end… well, that depends if you’re on Decay or Burial, but more on that in a bit.

A great scene to study for this dynamic is the climax of Episode 1, when Andrew grabs Ashley by the throat and considers strangling her to death. She’s pushed him too far with hurtful words and assault, and he’s seemingly had enough.

It’s still framed as a question of risk, of consequences happening to him. 

Like, this is not the usual behaviour of someone who’s been pushed past their breaking point.

He tells Ashley that he wants to kill her, because she’s just going to throw another fit and that’s a risk to him. She is… not framed as being able to fight back (she does have a gun here, and more on that in a later essay, maybe). He’s so calculated in how he approaches his use of violence here, which isn’t at all what you’d expect of someone about to commit a crime of passion… but it’s very easy to overlook because of the abuser/victim narrative that the player fits his behaviour into the narrative that the game primes them to accept, brushing incongruities under the carpet.

At the start of Episode 2, we get to control Andrew for the first time, and the first obvious holes in his cover start to show. Some of this is optional — you only learn that he’s been faking having nightmares in order to share a bed with Ashley if you choose to go back into the motel room and check the bed, for example — but not all of it.

----(See reblogs for the second half)

[honeyed-nothings]

To Have a Crush: Savanaclaw

Warning(s): Gender-neutral reader, not proof-read, OOC

Notes: Procrastination hit me hard���also I did not expect to spend an hour finding decent enough emoticons for them. May just switch to regular bullet point style someday since I’m still trying to figure out what format I like(╥_╥). Never realized how hard it was to make a pretty format on tumblr until now. Also I’ve gotten pretty rusty too but my schedule has finally cleared up a bit so I’ll be able to be a little more active now!

Heartslabyul | Savanaclaw | Octavinelle | Scarabia | Pomefiore | Ignihyde | Diasomnia | Special

Leona Kingscholar

𓄂 A crown of love that the king wears. A herbivore was all you were to him. Another nameless face in the faceless crowd of people who he couldn’t care less about in the grand scheme of things. That’s how it was supposed to stay…until it didn’t. The proud lion will never admit this (or at least not anytime soon) but that day where you, a weak and stupidly stubborn human, stood your ground among all the dust and debris was both one of the most frustrating experiences in his life and also the first time he ever thought of you as ‘strong’. Every so often he thinks back to that moment and sighs before pulling you towards him to lay on the grass.

𓄂 A king should always be accompanied by his retainers. However, he’s not king and you’re definitely not his retainer. Just a stubborn herbivore who happened to catch his eye, that’s all. You’re not that great as an errand runner either but it’s better than just one. A help that Ruggie greatly appreciates but occasionally complains about how you always take the lighter load. Don’t think much about it, he just doesn’t want you messin’ up or anythin’. Strangely, whenever you do run errands for him, there’s conviently always an extra that he gives to you. Reasoning to you that the King of Beasts would’ve done the same thing to those under his care. The proud lion knows this is a lie he can’t keep using to play off what he feels inside. Not when his own ears and tail betray him.

𓄂 Tch, well this is embarrassing.

𓄂 Maybe it was a good thing that Leona already knew. From the moment his tail unconsciously wrapped around you, he knew what his heart was telling him as it beat in his chest. There, with you and him napping underneath the shade of a tree, he realized he had fallen in love. He didn’t know whether he should’ve laughed or cursed the world so he chose to do neither instead. Gently brushing a stray leaf off that had fallen on your face, he chuckled. Guess something like love ain’t all that bad.

𓄂 A crownless lion who’s more hated than loved and a visitor from a place far from here. An interesting duo you two make as he pulls you yet again away from class to nap in the shade with him. His attempts at catching your heart aren’t too noticeable, only noticed by the keenest of eyes. He’ll never be the ideal partner, that he acknowledges despite his pride. But being sappy and overly romantic isn’t his style. That’s why, he’ll win your heart in his own way. A path perhaps not that of a king, but of a man in-love. The prideful lion may not bow his head to no one, but for you he’ll take a knee.

“Huh, well aren’t you gettin’ bolder? I didn’t think you’d beat me to it.”

Ruggie Bucchi

シ Hidden amidst the dirt and grime was love. It’s ingrained into Ruggie to look after people but he’s learnt to not let it be given without a price. Outside of his family and Leona, the latter of whom was more so to help his own skin, he didn’t exactly feel any desire or need to look after you. Sure he felt pity, after all you’re in a tighter spot than him in the world, but aside from that you were just an after thought. Nobody of note that could be beneficial to him in any way. That was until Leona overbloted and well…he’s somewhat grateful that you don’t have much of a survival instinct. You’re a real goody two-shoes aren’t you? Still, he’s thankful that you’re the way that you are. Hyenas never forget a debt and this one he owes to you alone.

シ It really just started off with it being to repay his debt to you. Sure it’s not much but he can’t really do anything fancy like paying you millions of madols or giving you land. That’s why, the hyena has chosen to pay it back his own way. Simple as it may be, it’s all he really has to offer. It’s not like watching your back is gonna cause him anymore work than he’s already got. Soon enough, he found himself doing more than what he intended to. Giving parts of his lunch to you, claiming he didn’t feel like it or there was extra. Stopping during his errands whenever he spotted you to have a quick chat before going off again with slightly more enthusiasm than before. Or heck, sparing you a few madols so you can get what you need. It’s kinda a loss but he just can’t seem to make himself stop. Not when you smile at him so brightly.

シ Wait a minute.

シ Nah…nahh he can’t seriously be in love with you or somethin’, right? Being close to you is just to pay off his debt, not cause he actually likes your company or anything, right?? But as his eyes catch his reflection on the window panes of the college, he can no longer deny the blush on his face or the rapid beating of his heart as the thought of you runs rampant in his mind once again. Well, guess there’s no point in fidgeting around anymore.

シ He’s not much, really he ain’t. Ruggie knows he won’t hold a candle to anyone else in the school in terms of magic or madol but what he does have is his smarts. In his own way, he’ll try and appeal to you. Sometimes he’s confident, other times he feels like he wants to die from how embarrassing it must’ve looked. Still, he tries and tries and tries. Hoping that maybe, just maybe, you’ll choose him buried underneath piles of trash.

“You-…you’re really choosing me?”

Jack Howl

ᴥ︎ Love that resounds throughout the night. A team up was all Jack figured it’d be. An agreement to right the wrongs and set things straight so that one day, once more, Savanaclaw would be able to say from the bottom of their hearts that they won. Nothing big enough to lead into the friendship that came to be between you and him. Well then things took a turn for the worse and then the better and well…he’s sure you get it. An accident, a friendship, a bond, whatever it is, the stubborn wolf has decided that he’ll have your back. No matter what and no matter where, he’ll help you out.

ᴥ︎ Respect was all it was. A respect towards a magicless human who proved their own strength by courageously standing in the face of death. Not everyone has a spirit like that and the wolf beastman couldn’t help but look at that and think ‘Ah, now that’s strength’. In doing so, he wanted to be respected by you too. That’s why, when he could, he’d wait outside Ramshackle and walk with you to your classes, carrying your books and providing an umbrella if it’s a rainy day. Need help on the homework? He won’t tell you the answers but he’ll help you figure it out at least. Like working out? Great! He’s more than willing to provide some tips and tricks to achieving the goal you want. Well it wasn’t until Ruggie teased him about how much more happy he seemed doing all that stuff for you that it finally clicked for him. This…isn’t good.

ᴥ︎ D-don’t misunderstand him!

ᴥ︎ Actually no, maybe you should— wait no you shouldn’t! Jack doesn’t know how to feel about…this now that he fully recognizes it. Well- he does, in a way, it’s just…complicated. To be honest, he did have a suspicion that his feelings of respect towards you had turned into something deeper. How fast his tail wagged whenever you were nearby, how he wanted to put even more effort into whatever he was doing when you were watching, how red his face turned whenever he took a ‘secret’ glance in your direction, it really was way too obvious looking back on it.

ᴥ︎ Wolf-type beastmen only have one partner for the rest of their lives. Dedicating themselves entirely to whoever their partner may be. Jack always dreamed of finding his one true partner, he just never expected it to happen so soon. Yes, a crush to him counts as his one true love as childish as it may be. With exactly zero romantic experience under his belt and only equipped with the knowledge of the multiple times his parents told him their love story, he attempts to appeal to you. Surprisingly, for a first timer in love, they’re all thought out and not embarrassing. Jack isn’t good at hiding how feels about you in front of you or anyone else, but it has a certain charm to it. The charm of an adolescent boy in love who cares for you quietly, unable to hide how he feels, as his heart and tail follow the same beat.

“..Phew, you’re here. Prefect, I—uh need to tell you something.”

[e-rated-beardo]

Do we need another voice added to the conversation about The Thing? I guess it can't hurt.

I have about every feeling on Earth. I'm frustrated it's going to be shorter than we thought. I'm wary, because we've all learnt this year that a green light can be un-green-lit with no warning. I'm so relieved they've removed That Guy. I'm relieved we're getting something. I'm angry that That Guy had to secretly be a shit (judging from the info I have) which has caused all this bloody anxiety for all of us IN ADDITION to the actual proper shit things he's done to others in the past (given the info I have) and that his shittiness is going to sully people's enjoyment of this thing in big or small ways. I'm cautiously optimistic that we might get something faster, because fewer minutes means quicker work, maybe. I'm worried (as I always was) that it isn't going to be what I've hoped for. I'm frustrated that it's still so very quiet in media regarding what That Guy has done and mildly worried his ex-fans might never know a lot of things that might have led to closure.

I've never been in fandom before this and I have a vague understanding of how lucky I am that this was the one that sucked me in. I'm told not all fandoms are created equal. This one is a bloody marvel. A real fucking marvel. I'm not talking about the art and writing (which are just fantastic like I can't believe), but about how last night I first read The News in a Discord server and thus had other fans Feeling All The Feelings around me right from the start; how I went on Tumblr and found the early discussions and shock and complicated emotions from people whose handles mean something to me, and how I went on Reddit and saw other people gif-screaming in frustration while simultaneously trying to comfort each other. This is such a wholesome place. HOW is this such a wholesome place. Can we keep cultivating this? All of this? Keep welcoming the randos posting on Tumblr about experiencing the Final Fifteen for the first time with avalanches of emoji hearts and fanfic? Keep patiently explaining and re-explaining new and confusing news to commenters who haven't heard all of them yet? Keep showing strangers how to code on AO3 or how to be a lovely fanfic reader or introduce them to the metas people thought up in 2015 or encourage them to post their own loving, scrunckly first art piece and give them love and appreciation for it?

We've Had A Fucking Moment Year, haven't we? And somehow, as an overall experience, to me, this has been an absolute GOOD. Because there's a whole bloody world of other obsessed folks around me now, feeling the same conflicted feelings as I do, largely speaking, and mulling them over in open blogs and private servers and fanfics and comics and DMs.

I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve. (Or more than half of you, more likely. We're not Hobbiton.) I really like y'all, anyway. You're neat. Can we be frembs? ❤️

If you want a little comfort fanfic escapism, I'm told this 7k-word, E-rated silliness I made once is a balm for S2-related wounds. (There's a podfic of it, too.) This thread on GOAD cropped up with great timing yesterday and is full of people's comfort fic recs. There's tons more of this everywhere. This fandom, man. This fandom. 🖤🤍

[lamonnaie]

thanks for the tag @sollucets i loved reading ur answers !!! 🫶🫶 i've been a little ia lately + busy with irl things but i'm slowly trying to work through the backlog of tag games 😅

1. why did you choose your url?

it's from the french words "la monnaie," which basically means small change. i found the word amusing when i first learnt it a while ago and i've been using it as a username practically everywhere ever since :]

2. any sideblogs? name them and why you have them

technically no? i set up the ao3 feed for the dangerous romance tag on a sideblog pretty much just for my own convenience, but that doesn't rlly count lol

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

i've been lurking on tumblr since ~2015, when you could actually use the website pretty functionally even without an account, but i only made this account in 2020.

4. do you have a queue tag?

i do! it's just "q" (although it's empty right now because i haven't been on much 😩😩)

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

i finally made a tumblr account after 5 yrs of lurking because of this one niche movie that had somewhat of a fandom on here and i wanted to interact lol

6. why did you choose your icon?

because fairy lights !! they're pretty :))

(i use this icon everywhere as well as my url, i think i've only ever changed it once on here)

7. why did you choose your header?

i had to go back and check my blog because i genuinely didn't remember what my header was 😭😭 but it's just a cute gif off of google that i picked coz i liked it :)

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

apparently this post about akkayan and raysand??? guess that answers the shitposts question as well LMAO

9. how many mutuals do you have?

quite a few !! is there any way of actually finding out the number? i have no clue, but if someone follows me i tend to check out their blog and if we have similar interests i'll follow back :] that being said, probably around 30-ish who i've actually interacted with beyond mutual liking and rbing hehe

10. how many followers do you have?

382!

11. how many people do you follow?

486 - definitely need to do a clean out tho because i follow a lot of random blogs from interests long gone by

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

yes lol

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

it depends honestly, sometimes several times a day for several hours (😭), other times i'll go a day or two without opening it <//3

14. have you had a fight/argument with another blog?

nah, if i don't agree with something i'll just unfollow and/or block

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

very unnecessary, i get that there's good intention behind it but it's honestly just annoying to see and will actively make me not reblog it 😭 (or at the very least i'll go back and rb a version without the addition)

16. do you like tag games?

HELL YEAH, i love yapping about things 🥰🥰

17. do you like ask games?

yesss they're so much fun !!!! (that being said, my askbox is so wonky that it never saves my posts as i'm writing and then it'll randomly crash and i just the ask altogether????)

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

hmm i have no concept of tumblr famousness but just looking through my moots there's quite a few who i feel are pretty well known???

that being said, gonna give a shoutout to dee @distant-screaming who is the most famous person ever to me because i love love love their fics so much 😭😭😭 like have i ever fully watched nlmg? nope. do i still constantly go back and read her palmnueng fics? absolutely.

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

no i wouldn't say so :) i admire a lot of people on here and i love all my mutuals <33 (but in a platonic way hehe)

20. tags?

i feel like people have done this already (so no pressure + pls tag me in ur post if u've already done it !!) but tagging @dramalets @distant-screaming @winnysatang @hellswolfie @blackstar-gazer <33

[dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt]

Hey.

So, it’s been a while. I have a lot less energy than I used to and I’ve found that being online is extremely bad for my already struggling brain. I’ve really struggled to keep up any connections I used to have, even though I wanted to and I felt extremely guilty for struggling so much with just talking to people. I feel like I’ve become a completely different person in the past few years. I guess I kind of outgrew Tumblr and I felt like I was a fraud when I couldn’t reach the same levels of energy and enthusiasm to behave like I used to and I felt like I didn’t belong here any more and that I was a disappointment, but I still think about all of my friends on here a lot and I’m really sorry I faded out without any explanation, it was never a deliberate choice, time just did time things and all of a sudden it’s been years and I felt too guilty and ashamed to come back, like I was being kept prisoner by my own skull raisin. I still think about you all and I hope you’re living the wonderful happy lives you all deserve and that the world is being so, so kind and gentle to you. I hope you find new happiness and love every single day. I still love all of you with my whole heart and soul and I’m really, genuinely sorry for leaving like I did, I hope none of you were worried and I hope you didn’t miss me.

A life update is that I’m doing okay, even good. My partner Josh and I are still going strong, we’re planning on getting married in the next few years, and I’ve been flying over to see them regularly (I’ll never stop being grateful that I have this opportunity.) Their apartment is yellow and we adopted a very big plush Bulbasaur son together and we cuddle until we fall asleep every night and their smile and their mind make me reach a level of happiness I genuinely did not think I was capable of and they have helped me find who I really am. Loving them is the easiest and sweetest thing I’ve ever done. I’m planning on moving overseas to be with them after we’re married (paperwork + residency reasons.) Their friends have welcomed me incredibly kindly into their group and their city is a world I want to live in and I feel like I finally know where I belong. I have finally, finally found my home.

Other updates. My pets are getting older and we lost Maudie, I still miss her and I’m scared for the others but I can’t do anything but love them. With my partner’s help I realized that I’m most likely autistic and I’m hoping to get officially diagnosed once I’ve moved, but not before, because a diagnosis could get my residency denied. I have a steady job with very nice coworkers/friends and in general I’m a lot less scared of life and I’m actually excited for the future, even though I still have very hard days, weeks, months. I have a lot more confidence and love in myself. I own a shirt with rubber duckies on it and I adore it with my whole heart. I have two tattoos named Frank and Louisa and I’m hoping to get more soon. I make very good soup. I’ve learnt to draw, I still have a long way to go but it makes me happy and it’s therapeutic and also how does lighting and shading work oh my gOD-

If anyone wants to reach me at any time, for any reason, my Discord is awshucksalright#7140. It’s one of the few sites that I don’t have a mental block with so I’m usually active on there, but I am a different person now so I understand if you don’t have a drive to, there’s no expectation. I just wanted to make a post to give closure if it was needed because just dipping like I did was super shitty and I wish I could take it back but at this point it feels too late and I don’t know if I have the energy to come back again any way. I have been lurking like a weirdo on your blogs to make sure you’re okay, I should’ve just reached out, I don’t know why I didn’t other than my brain not letting me, it felt like a wall and it still does. It was nothing any of you did, it’s just my own brain being a dick and I hate it and I wish I could change it. I don’t want any of you to think that you weren’t/aren’t important to me because you always have been and always will be. Your kindness and friendship has meant the world to me.

I don’t want to say goodbye so I’m not going to, I don’t want to close that door because I love so many of the people through it. I just hope you’re all okay and that life is treating you with all the amazing-ness that you all deserve. I hope you all feel warmly and gently hugged.

I love you. 💖💖💖🐰🐰🐰💕💕💕

[evan-writes]

It's my 3 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

This journey is truly an emotional one... Just as my life underwent transitions, my blog too underwent many..

I happened to start blogging just for the sake of my fandom towards a late actor in 2020.. I blogged casually, later it got into my veins and ultimately I fell in love with putting down my thoughts into words..

Year 2021.. a year of transformation for me.. a person who changed me completely- every thought, every thing I did and said was changed by that person after he stepped into my path in October.. and my life was on a peak..

Days and months passed.. the same continued in 2022.. And now, it's the year, 2023... As time gradually passed, I unknowingly fell in love with this person and life together seemed like a rollercoaster to us.. from your transfer to this very moment, distance always was a villain between us.. yet you took effort to make both ends meet.. that's something worth appreciating. My blog finally went from a mere brain dumping blog to a blog that is written solely for my beloved; the one I love.

Now, here we are.. life has brought us at crossroads.. of course, a lot of misunderstandings , talks, and unwanted allegations has entered our scene.. ultimately, we are left alone to travel.. and it's completely void now. Don't know how it feels on the other side..

Let me take this 3rd tumblrversary to say sorry once again, for all the words and talks that I had made during that fight.. I hope someday our broken bond will be mended ..

Before I conclude.. I'd like to share something here...

Every morning my alarm reminds me of you.. Ever wondered why??? Once I got closer to you, I had set a special ringtone just for your call .. and as your calls reduced.. I set it as my alarm tone.. so I think it as if you're calling me.. it instantly lit up my face..

Our journey had its flaws and goodness.. I learnt a lot, to live, love and be happy with what I have.. we've been in this rollercoaster together.. now, I guess I'm seated in the same rollercoaster, but we both are in two different seats this time..with the hope of reuniting someday..

Will the prayers that I recited ( and the prayers that I will recite in future) throughout this month get an answer?? Hope so...

Yours always, Evans...

[daisy-chain-gardens]

Exchange Romance - Chapter 7

A/N: Hey guys, me again. Sorry for the slow update but I've had a bit of a crazy week so I haven't had a lot of time to write. This chapter is quite long though so hopefully that makes up for it! The next chapter is going to be 'day by day' style as well. I was going to merge this chapter and the next chapter but I really wanted to post something today and I think this chapter is long enough as it is. Happy reading :)

Word Count: 6,050

Ch. 1 // Ch. 2 // Ch. 3 // Ch. 4 // Ch. 5 // Ch. 6 // AO3 link

Brave. This is the first word I would think of if someone asked me to describe Betty Cooper. Although these five small letters do nothing to describe the incredible human being that you are, they begin to describe what you are to me. The next word I think of is gentle, then strong, then intelligent, and then a millions others which would take a lifetime to write out. The truth is, a light such as yourself can’t be summed up with mere words, no matter how many I try to use. You couldn’t possibly be summarised because you are so much more than just a few sentences. You are your accomplishments, your failures, your memories, your regrets and everything in between. Every single one of these things has created you, the amazing, ethereal, kind hearted girl who I am incredibly lucky to call my girlfriend. You make me feel safe in this screwed up world and for that I am eternally grateful. Snowball fights and late night movies and vanilla milkshakes and that certain shade of green will forever remind me of you, surely bringing a smile to my face until my dying days. If someone ever asks me about it, I’ll be sure to tell them all about the beautiful blonde with a funny accent and piercing green eyes. The way her hair looks like pure gold when the sun hits it just so. The look of pure joy and wonder on her face at the sight of snow. The way she tilts her head back slightly and scrunches her eyes shut when she laughs. The tune she taps absentmindedly against the table as she does her math homework. If anyone ever asks me why I remember all of these small moments that anyone else would deem insignificant, I'll tell them it is because of you. The unforgettable Betty Cooper. The girl who had my heart from the second I saw her laughing away in a booth at Pop's. What I'm trying to say, or rather write, is that I love you Betty Cooper. Somehow it feels like I always have. Like I just knew, as soon as we locked eyes, that you were the only girl that would ever be anywhere near enough for me. I am so so happy that you're in my life, and now that you are I can't imagine my life without you. I hope that you have the most unforgettable Christmas, Betts, because you deserve it. You deserve all of the goodness and happiness in the world and I will try my hardest to give it to you. I love you.

This was the letter that Jughead wanted to send. The words flowed smoothly as his pen raced across the page to keep up with his thoughts. Before the ink on the first word had even begun to dry, Jughead knew he would never send this to Betty, no matter how desperately he wanted to. "What kind of wimp tells his girlfriend he loves her in a letter?" He mumbled under his breath before scrunching it up and tossing it in the bin.

What felt like several hours later, the bin beside Archie's desk was overflowing, crumpled paper marked with half finished sentences spilling over the sides of the small metal basket. Jughead held his head in his hands, willing himself to continue. This letter had to be perfect but nothing that he wrote felt right. His sentences felt clunky and his words sounded generic and impersonal. After many more failed attempts, he begrudgingly sifted through the paper mountain and pulled out the crumpled sheet hiding at the very bottom.

--------------------

Betty didn't realise she was crying until the ink became blurry, forcing her to clear her eyes before reading the final words of Jughead's letter. His fingers ran over the crumpled page, circling those three words that changed everything. She didn't try to fight her lovesick smile, knowing that her efforts would be in vain. He loved her. Jughead Jones loved her, Betty Cooper. She couldn't believe it. She had to stop from running and jumping around the room for fear of waking up her host family. She reread his letter countless times until she had it memorised, her mind playing the words over and over again. She reached over to her dresser and grabbed her phone, bringing up Jughead's name on Skype and calling him faster than she thought was humanly possible. He picked up on the second ring.

"Hi Betts," he mumbled sleepily, a groggy smile on his face at the sight of his girlfriend.

"Hi Juggie." Her voice was quiet but Jughead could hear the excitement in it.

"Everything ok? It's pretty late. Shouldn't you b-"

"I love you," Betty blurted out, her voice now strong and sure. "Jughead Jones, I love you," she repeated, more to herself than anyone else. Betty wished she had a camera to take a photo of Jughead the minute the words slipped out of her mouth. Pure love and adoration covered his face, no sight of his usual nonchalance.

"Betty Cooper, I love you." There were tears, and quiet promises, and three words whispered over and over again, so many times that they were the only ones either of them could remember. All that Betty wanted was to be with him. To be able to hold his hand, stroke his cheek, press his lips against hers, anything. She absentmindedly traced his face on the screen, aching for his touch. They kept talking until their conversation turned to yawns, the quiet sound of Riverdale in the morning flooded through the speakers before their screens finally turned black.

26th December

By the time Betty emerged from her room, Ronnie had already finished one mug of coffee and Hiram and Hermione were standing near the door.

"Ah, Betty, I'm glad you're awake. Hermione and I are heading off to Paris until the New Year. We have some meetings and things to attend for the company. You two should be fine here but Smithers is staying behind in case you need anything. Have a good time, stay safe," Hiram called over his shoulder as he strolled out of the front door, his wife on his arm. Veronica let out a small sigh when the door closed before quickly turning her attention to Betty.

"So B, I heard voices very late last night. What were you and lover boy up to?" Veronica questioned playfully, waggling her eyebrows.

"Nothing just ... talking," The blonde looked down at the table to hide her smile, failing to hide her happiness as her face blushed red.

"Just talking? If you say so. What did he say in that letter he gave you?" Betty looked up at her host sister, her face resembling that of a deer in the headlights. Ronnie had an innocent smile on her face causing Betty to narrow her eyes.

"What do you know?" Betty asked slowly, her voice curious but threatening.

"I know nothing. But I may have talked to a certain boyfriend of mine who may just happens to sleep in the same room as a certain boyfriend of yours. A certain boyfriend who might sleep talk." Ronnie's voice raised teasingly as she kept her eyes trained on Betty, her innocent smile now having morphed into a knowing smirk. Betty kept her eyes narrowed, still unsure as to whether or not Veronica was bluffing.

"What do you know?" She repeated, her tone becoming more threatening than curious.

"Fine, I give up, you're no fun. Archiekins was clearing out the bin in his room and there was a whole bunch of letters; all addressed to you, all written by Jug. Arch kept teasing him about it until Jug confessed that he loves you." He waited for a beat, creating a dramatic pause which only Veronica could pull off in an actual conversation. "But I wasn't lying about the sleeptalking thing." Betty couldn't contain the smile on her face. Last night the pair had said that they loved each other more times than most people did in a lifetime but Betty didn't think she would ever get tired of hearing it. "So then, last night wasn't just talking, was it?" The brunette raised her eyebrows again, this time questioningly instead of playfully.

"Yes, V, just talking. Sorry to disappoint," Betty replied, laughing when Veronica fake-pouted. "You are the only person I know that would be annoyed I didn't do anything other than talk with my boyfriend on Christmas. Well, you and Kevin."

"At least Kevin has his priorities straight. Speaking of which, shopping is compulsory today because, well shopping should be compulsory everyday really. But, we need to get you something nice for when you get to see Jughead again!" Ronnie practically squealed, looking a lot more excited than Betty.

"Fine, only if we can go sightseeing this afternoon. I haven't gotten to do any sightseeing."

"Deal. Now go get changed, I just got to make some calls," Veronica agreed mysteriously but Betty was too caught up in her daydreams to notice.

--------------------

Not more than an hour after their conversation in the kitchen, the two girls were walking around one of the many malls New York had to offer, arms linked at the elbow as they walked through the crowds of shoppers.

"Ok so, first stop, Victoria's Secrets? What colour are you thinking? I think you'd look good in light pink, maybe blue," Ronnie started rambling, talking about various styles of lingerie.

"Wait, what? Why are we going here for me?" Betty asked, her face revealing her confusion.

"To get you something for Jug, remember?" The dark haired girl replied before laughing at the blonde's blatant confusion. "What did you think we were shopping for, lollipops?" Thank god for waterproof makeup because Veronica was crying herself to tears at how naive Betty was.

"I don't know. I thought maybe a new dress or something. I don't really know if we're at the lingerie stage yet," Betty said shyly. She was used to talking about her relationship with Ronnie but this felt different, more personal.

"Not yet but I have a feeling you will be soon. You love him and he loves you, what else is there?" Veronica asked, as if it were as simple as that.

"I don't know it's just ... scary, I guess," Betty confessed, slightly embarrassed.

"B, I'm not trying to pressure you into sleeping with your boyfriend or anything but it's just how it is. people have needs. You might not feel that way yet and that's nothing to be ashamed of. If nothing else, we can always just go and get cute bras for you, Jughead never has to know." Betty hugged her host sister tightly, thankful that she wasn't pushing the matter.

"Fine V. Only because I know that you’re not going to drop this."

"I have raised you well my little kiwi." Veronica smiled up at her blonde friend with motherly affection, laughing when Betty crouched down to her height. Half an hour later, although Betty would probably tell you it was about five hours later, the pair walked out of the mall, arms laden with bags, all from the same store.

--------------------

They finally sat down for lunch at a trendy vegan restaurant, shopping bags surrounding their small table. Their food came quickly and they were just about to start eating when a high pitched voice interrupted them.

"Veronica Lodge, OMG! I didn't know you were back in New York!" A short blonde girl hurried towards them, the amount of shopping bags she was carrying rivalled Ronnie's.

"Zara? It's so good to see you! I thought you guys were in Spain for the holidays." Veronica rushed out of her seat and into Zara's arms, hugging her tightly.

"Just for christmas, we flew in this morning. You know how much I love the shopping in New York." She said, her voice bubbling with excitement.

"Tell me about it. Zara, this is Betty. She's an exchange student from New Zealand and she's staying with me in Riverdale until June." Betty stood up, remembering all of those years of etiquette training her mother had drilled into her.

"IT'S VERY NICE TO MEET YOU," Zara yelled very slowly, over annunciating each syllable.

"It's nice to meet you too," Betty replied, trying to not to laugh at the small girl in front of her.

"Oh, you speak english. I thought maybe you spoke dutch or something." Zara said, unfased by her mistake. She joined them at their table, contributing immensely to their mountain of shopping, and kept the conversation easy until Betty and Ronnie had finished their food. "You girls up for round 2?" Ronnie looked at Betty, waiting or her to answer.

"You two go ahead. I wanted to get in some sightseeing but I'll be fine on my own. I'll text you if I need anything." Betty said, ever the people pleaser. Ronnie thanked her silently before kissing her on the cheek and bouncing out of the restaurant, Zara following right behind as they handed off their shopping to an ever obliging Smithers. Betty chuckled at the sight of them before walking out of the restaurant herself, heading in the opposite direction.

--------------------

Juggie: Hope you haven't died from over-shopping. Betty laughed when Jughead's slightly morbid text lit up her phone about an hour after she'd left Ronnie. She'd managed to navigate the subway more a less successfully and then was currently standing in line to go up the Empire State building.

Betts: Not yet. Check back tomorrow and I might have a different answer. They texted back and forth until Betty got to the front of the line, eventually making her way to the elevator and stepping out once it arrived on the top floor.

She was speechless. The whole city was spread out beneath her, the skyscrapers looking like they were a normal size while the rest of the city looked like it was built for ants. She slowly walked along the edge of the fence, trying to soak up every second of the experience. Her phone buzzed in her bag, forcing her to tear her eyes away from the skyline and redirect her attention to the screen where a new text from Jughead waited for her.

Juggie: I love you. She felt unstoppable. Reading those words whilst standing on the top of the world made the butterflies in her chest flutter. Betty turned her back to the city, turning her camera around to take a selfie, the smile on her face bright enough to rival the lights which the city was known for.

Betts: I wish you were here with me

Betts: I love you. It made her so happy to be able to type out those eight letter. Jughead replied almost instantly.

Juggie: I'll be seeing you sooner than you think. She held her phone to her chest, smile still bright as she looked out across New York for one last time before walking back over to the elevator and heading back down to earth.

--------------------

Jughead and Betty continued texting for the rest of the afternoon, Betty sending him various photos of herself posing in front of New York landmarks. She ached to see him and sent him a Skype request as soon as she got through the apartment door that evening, making note of Veronica's absence and figuring she probably wasn't going to be back any time soon.

"Hey Betts," Jughead said as he accepted her request.

"Hey Juggie." She was almost breathless at the sight of him, not sure how he could make her feel like this through a computer screen.

"I was just about to order burgers for dinner. Archie's out somewhere and Fred's working late. I don't know why on boxing day but I get the house to myself so I'm not complaining," Jughead said, reaching for the phone to call the number for Pop's he'd memorised a long time ago.

"I think I'm in the mood for pizza. You up for a movie tonight?" She asked, barely able to keep the expectation out of her voice.

"Always, any ideas?"

"I am in New York so I feel like 'West Side Story' is compulsory viewing," Betty said whilst scouring the internet for nearby pizza places. Of course there were a million.

"Not sure if I agree with your reasoning but you've convinced me, West Side Story it is," he said in mock disappointment.

"You've gone soft Jug. Probably just because you love me," she smiled, turning her attention away from her computer to look at him on her phone. His eyes sparkled and they somehow looked deeper than normal. His beanie-less hair was sticking up in all directions, leaving Betty wishing she could run her fingers through it.

"Anything for you Betts." His expression could only be described as loving and Betty had to bite her lip to try and prevent her smile from taking up her whole face. "However, I do have food waiting for me so I'll call you back in 20 minutes, ok?"

"Okey dokey. I'll see you in 20 minutes, not a second later. Love you!" She called out before hanging up the phone, promptly dialing Smithers number.

"Hey Smithers, do you know of any good pizza places nearby?"

"Certainly Ms. Coo-, Betty, I can go and find some for you if you'd like? Any particular toppings?" It had taken almost three months for Smithers to voluntarily call Betty by her first name but it still made her giggle a bit when she heard him struggle with the informality so much.

"Surprise me. That would be amazing thank you. I think it's a pj's and takeout kind night."

"I understand Betty. I'll bring it up to you as soon as possible."

"No rush. Thanks a ton Smithers!" Betty set up the TV and found the movie on Netflix, changing into her pyjamas while she waited for Jughead to call. Her phone started buzzing as soon as she walked back into the living room.

"You ok Jug? You look a bit flushed." Betty stated as soon as his face popped up on the screen, voice laced with concern.

"I'm ... fine ... 20 ... minutes ... isn't ... very ... long." Jughead choked out, breathing heavily.

"Did you run Jug?" Betty asked, trying to stop herself from laughing at his breathlessness.

"Maybe ... I think Pop's has ... gotten further away ... since you've been gone." A giggle slipped from her lips and Jughead laughed along with her, both just happy to be with each other. Smithers knocked politely on the door, handing Betty her pizza before slipping silently back into the elevator.

"Ok, dinner's all set, you ready to start watching?" She asked, the remote already in one of her hands as she reached for a slice of pizza with the other.

"As ready as I'll ever be," he replied, his breathing finally under control. The music for the intro started and Jughead couldn't tear his eyes away from his girlfriend. It wasn't the same as having her with him. He couldn't feel the weight of her lying across him, his arm wrapped around her or running his fingers through her hair. He eventually looked away when he heard the Sharks clicking through the streets of New York, the sound ripping him from his thoughts. They engaged in their usual movie conversations throughout the film, commenting on various things which caught their eye.

Jughead noticed Betty's uncharacteristic silence and looked down at his phone, the sight before him one which he swears made his heart stop. Betty was leaned back against the couch, wrapped up tightly in a blanket with her hair messily falling around her face. Her mouth was hanging slightly open and her soft snores were barely heard over the noise coming from the TV. He let himself look at her for a few more seconds before softly whispering those three small words and ending the call.

Veronica tumbled through the door very early the next morning, or late that night, she's not quite sure. She's greeted by Betty's sleeping figure on the couch, the Netflix menu on the TV, and Jughead's Skype profile on Betty's open laptop. Ronnie couldn't help but think about how the sleeping blonde was going to react when she found out about her surprise tomorrow. The raven haired princess recovered Betty with her blanket, shut down her laptop and the TV, and then walked down the hall to her room, her eyes closing as soon as her head hit the pillow.

27th December

Betty woke up to the sun streaming through the windows, New York already buzzing down below. She got up slowly and decided to make some pancakes, blasting her music in the kitchen while she worked. Veronica stumbled into the kitchen as Betty was taking the last batch out of the pan, fumbling around for her coffee mug.

“Fun night V?” Betty asked.

“How could it not be? Two girls armed with daddy’s credit card, sounds like a recipe for success.” Veronica replied sleepily, filling up her cup carefully. “Care for a stroll in Central Park after breakfast? I think a bit of fresh air will help get rid of this thumping headache I just happen to have accumulated.” The brunette’s eyes twinkled knowingly as she finished her sentence, causing Betty to giggle.

“New York, new Veronica? I thought you hated strolling, and the outdoors, and watching people exercise,” Betty pointed out skeptically, confused as to what had caused Ronnie’s sudden change of heart.

“You never know, maybe we’ll find something more interesting to do along the way.” She took a long sip of her coffee, dismissing Betty’s bewildered look.

“Whatever you say V. As long as it doesn’t involve shopping I’m good with whatever.”

“Speaking of shopping, you should wear something that you bought yesterday. What’s the point in buying it if you’re not going?” Ronnie asked, feigning nonchalance.

“What’s going on V? First you want to ‘go for a stroll’ and now you’re trying to get me to wear nice underwear for said stroll. Is there something going on that I don’t know about?” Betty was completely puzzled at this point and was frustrated that Veronica was being so secretive.

“Only time will tell. Eat up quick, I want to go to the park as soon as possible.” The brunette refused to meet Betty’s eye as they finished their pancakes, Betty’s mind racing with possibilities as to what Veronica could possibly have planned for them at the park. Although she would deny it if Ronnie asked her, Betty put her new baby blue bra and matching underwear on under her winter clothes. Ronnie all but dragged her out the door as soon as she was decent, stilettos clicked hurriedly along the icy pavement. Betty was lead this way and that for about ten minutes until she realised that Ronnie was following the signs to the ice skating rink.

“V, why are we going ice skating? I know how you feel about wearing shoes that other people have worn.” The raven haired princess shuddered at the thought before replying to the girl she was dragging along, a devious smile playing on her lips.

“If things go well, we’ll be doing a lot more than ice skating.”

--------------------

A bright smile lit up Betty’s face at the sound of children playing, a sure sign that they were getting close to the ice skating rink. Her curiosity was killing her and she could tell that it was taking everything Ronnie had not to spoil her mysterious surprise. As soon as they rounded the corner the ice came into view, but Betty took no notice. All that she could see was him. Jughead and Archie were leaning against the barrier, chatting animatedly about something, caught up in their own bubble. Betty ran over to them and jumped into Jughead’s arms, hugging him tightly. Jughead reacted in an instant, holding her close and spinning her around.

“I missed you,” she whispered in his ear, melting into him.

“I love you,” he whispered back. She shifted slightly in his arms, moving so she could rest her forehead against his, her green eyes getting lost in the depths of his.

“I love you.” Before he could react her lips were on his, desperate and loving, trying to convey how they felt now that words were no longer enough.

“As adorable as you two are, there are children here,” Veronica pointed out from where she was standing next to Archie. His arm was already wrapped around her shoulder as he placed a soft kiss on the top of her head. Ronnie’s eyes fluttered closed at the sensation, letting herself lean into his chest. Betty pulled back slightly, blue eyes meeting green, giving her a look that made her feel like she was floating. She had thought that reading those words made her feel something but after hearing them fall from his perfect lips, she didn’t think she could ever get enough. Reluctantly, Betty untangled herself from Jughead as he lowered her gently to the ground, her arm staying around his waist as she turned to face Veronica.

“This is incredible V, I can’t believe you did this,” Betty said, her emotions written all over her face.

“Anything for you B, you know that. I think Archiekins and I are gonna head back to the apartment, you guys want to tag along?” Jughead didn’t even check with Betty before replying.

“Thanks Ron but I think we’re gonna walk around a bit, maybe do some sightseeing.” Jughead looked down at Betty with a sly grin and she burst out laughing, remembering all of the strange pictures she had sent him yesterday.

“Ok well we’ll see you guys for dinner? Maybe watch a movie after?” Ronnie asked, taking over Betty’s usual role of organising everyone now that the blonde was too busy staring at her boyfriend.

“Sounds good, see you tonight,” and with that they were off, running away from their friends and deeper into the park, hand in hand, laughs ringing out and masking the sound of the ice skaters beside them. Ronnie watched them go, a small smile on her face as she watched the pair disappear through the trees. The couple stayed like that for a while, holding each other close and watching the snow fall around them, before slowly turning around and strolling off in the other direction.

--------------------

As soon as Archie and Ronnie were out of view, Betty and Jughead once again became a tangle of limbs, holding each other so tightly they almost seemed like one person. Jughead’s hands were cupping her face, pulling her into the kiss with everything he had. Her hands mimicked his before running through his hair, knocking his beanie to the ground. Neither of them knew how long they stayed like that, kissing the life out of each other, hands roaming as they pleased. Seconds felt like hours but even the hours weren’t long enough. The snow had stopped falling by the time their lips pulled apart, hugging each other as though they would disappear if they put too much space in between them.

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

Their words repeated over like a mantra until their voices turned hoarse from the cold, forcing them to held each other in silence. Silently, they let each other go, hands still joined as their fingers laced together. Jughead leaned down and picked up his beanie, the colour almost black from the dampness of the snow it was half buried under. He tucked it into his pocket, sending Betty that smile which made her heart melt. They slowly made their way out of the park not quite sure of their destination but not really caring.

--------------------

Jughead and Betty spent the whole day running around New York, hand in hand, laughter following them through the bustling streets. They retraced Betty’s steps from the day before, recreating her goofy photos with the camera Jughead had been given for Christmas. He was constantly taking photos of anything that caught his eye; a colourful sign, people caught in conversation, old buildings, Betty. She was somehow completely oblivious to his camera, too caught up in her own little bubble to hear the constant click or notice the lovesick smile on her boyfriend’s face whenever she appeared in his lens. Halfway through the afternoon, Jughead’s phone buzzed in his pocket.

“Can you grab that Betts? I really want to get this shot,” he asked without looking at her, eyes completely focused on the small screen of his camera. A small smile played on her lips at the way he looked when he was completely focused, tongue slightly visible through his pink lips as his fingers fiddled with some buttons. She watched him for a second before digging his phone out of his pocket.

Arch: Ronnie wants to go out tonight so we might not be here when you guys get back. Movies tomorrow night?

“It’s Archie. V’s taking him out tonight so we’ll be all on our lonesome,” Betty relayed, unable to keep her smile from growing at the thought of having the apartment all to themselves. She sent off a quick reply to Archie and was just about to turn it off when something caught her eye. Jughead’s background was the photo she had sent him yesterday, her smiling face looking back at her from the screen, New York filling up the background. SHe stood up on the tips of her toes and softly kissed Jughead on the cheek. He stopped fiddling with his camera and looked down at her.

“What was that for?” He asked, slightly confused by his girlfriend’s sudden display of affection.

“Because I love you,” she replied, slipping his phone back into his pocket.

“I love you.” He leant down to kiss her, slow but quick at the same time. “I don’t think I’m ever going to get tired of say those words,” Jughead confessed, eyes locked on hers.

“Good because I’ll never get tired of hearing them,” Betty said with a cheeky grin, pulling him back in for another kiss, lacing her fingers back through his and leading him through the crowd.

--------------------

They tumbled into the apartment later that evening. Jughead held takeout in one hand and Betty in the other. The two of them promptly collapsed onto the couch, not even bothering to take off their winter coats. Betty leaned against Jughead, closing her eyes for a few seconds.

“You ok Betts? We can just go to sleep if you want,” He suggested, concern leaking into his voice at the sight of his exhausted girlfriend.

“No, I’m fine. It’s just been a busy day,” Betty said, opening her eyes and smiling up at him, adjusting slightly so she could see him better.

“It’s been an amazing day.” His voice sounded soft, his hand squeezing her gently from where it rested on her hip. She snuggled in closer to him, leaning into his chest with her legs lying across his lap.

“It was truly incredible. But now we have to eat, my stomach is getting angry at me,” she commented, making no effort to move from her spot. Jughead chuckled at her response.

“A girl after my own heart,” he quipped, running his fingers through her blonde locks a few times before moving her off his lap so he could grab the food. Betty took off her coat and shoes while she waited for him to return, turning on the TV and scrolling through Netflix. They ate their takeout and watched movies, just like they always did. Betty was so happy that he was here and not on the other side of a screen. She sat as close to him as possible and took every chance she could to touch him; brush his hair out of his eyes, draw small circles on his arm with her thumb, kiss his hand as he held it in hers. Jughead found it adorable how affectionate she got when she was tired. It seemed as if her inhibitions melted away and she was truly herself. He had to fight off a laugh at the end of the movie when he realised she had somehow fallen asleep in what he thought looked like a very uncomfortable position wrapped around him. He was unable to extract himself without waking her up so he gently nudged her shoulder.

“I’m awake, I’m just … resting,” she mumbled, eyes still closed. The chuckle finally escaped his lips as he helped her slowly move to an upright position.

“You ready for bed babe?” He teased, brushing her hair out of her face.

“I like it when you called me babe.” She sent him a sleepy grin which made his heart flutter. God she was beautiful, even with her hair a mess and eyes half closed. He quietly stood up and half carried her down the hall.

“Which bedroom is yours?” Jughead asked when they got to the corridor.

“That one over there,” she pointed to a door about halfway down and Jughead chuckled again. “What’s so funny?’ Betty asked, not sure if she had missed something or if Jughead was just being strange. “Just Ron. That’s the room I stayed in last time I came here with her and she told me I would be in the same room again.” Betty smiled again, not really awake enough to give a proper response.

“Guess you’re stuck with me then.”

“I can think of worse things,” Jughead replied, kissing her nose when she scrunched it up in mock anger. Betty flopped straight onto the bed when they got into the room

“I can’t be bothered moving now,” she admitted, voice muffled by the duvet.

“Come on babe, you can’t sleep in your jeans. Where do your pj’s live?” He asked as he put his bag in the corner.

“Second drawer down. Just grab whatever.” Jughead could hear her voice getting sleepier and moved quickly around the room, grabbing a pair of flannel pj’s before walking over to the bed.

“There you go. Do you want me to wait in the bathroom?” She shook her head before dragging herself off the bed, starting to take off her sweater. Jughead walked calmly over to his bag, pulling out his own pyjamas. By the time he turned around to ask her something, she was only in her bra and undies. He help but stare. She was absolutely breathtaking. He tried to gulp down the lump that was forming his throat, will himself to stay calm but not quite sure how to go about it. Betty noticed him staring and let out a giggle.

“Like what you see?” She teased, a sparkle in her eye that Jughead hadn’t seen before. She walked over to him and he could have sworn it was in slow motion. She wrapped her arm around his neck and kissed him, hard. Where their other kisses had been filled with unspoken promises and loving touches, this was purely instinct. Hands roamed where they pleased and tongues collided, both of them trying to get as much of each other as possible. Jughead’s hands gripped the back of her thighs, pulling her up as she wrapped her long legs around his waist. He carried her the short distance across the room, his body pressed against hers until he carefully lowered her onto the bed.

“Juggie, I really want to carry on but I’m having trouble keeping my eyes open. Is it ok if we continue this later? I’m really sorry,” Betty mumbled into his ear. Jughead could hear the sleep weighing down her voice and had no problem complying.

“You have nothing to be sorry about,” he whispered back, content that she felt secure enough around him to tell him how she was feeling. She crawled across the bed and snuggled under the covers, patting the space next to her to encourage Jughead to slide in next to her. He did just that, wrapping his arms around her as her eyes fluttered closed once more.

“Good night Betts,” he murmured into her hair, kissing the top of her head lightly. He took a moment to remember this feeling before closing his eyes to the world and joining her in dreamless slumber.

[tsukikoayanosuke]

Captain Talks About Some Writing Things - About MalleYuu and is this ship even possible?

With Ignihyde Arc finally reaching its conclusion and the Shroud Brothers giving us their sweet, sweet angst, the last dorm we need to go through is Diasomnia. Even though we just had a drama surrounding its uniform, it seems that it didn’t stop any of us from loving this boy.

Speaking of loving, as we know, Malleus Draconia is the poster boy of Twisted-Wonderland, thus certainly he gains a lot of attention from the players despite not appearing that much in the main story, to the point of some fans ships him with Yuu/The Player.

Today, we will be going through the possible romatic relationship between Malleus and Yuu. We’re going to see how many times they’ve interacted and is it even possible to ship them under in-game circumstances.

However a fair warning: This will be a deep dive between Malleus and Yuu/The Player, not OC Yuu! If your OC Yuu is shipped with Malleus, it’s fine. We’re here just to see the canon interactions, not headcanons or fanfics. Also, there will be spoiler since we’re following the JP update instead of EN. In addition, I’m not the best in researching, all of the translation can be found either in the wiki, Tumblr, or various sources. I’ll try my best to link it down, but any mistake in interpretation is mine.

Without further ado, let’s begin.

.

A Brief Summary of All Malleus & Yuu Interactions in Main Story

Prologue & Heartslabyul Arc:

Malleus was only mentioned in Episode Prologue-3, 1-8, and 1-28. In the prologue, we see how even mentioning Malleus name brings awes and fears. In Heartslabyul Arc, Trey said that Malleus is one of the five great sorcerers in the world, and Cater added that Malleus is on a different level. He was mentioned again 1-28 by Leona but he’s planning to "start that revenge plan on Malleus”.

Savanaclaw Arc:

Malleus was mentioned many times throughout the Savanaclaw Arc, mostly because he’s Leona’s biggest target.

But Episode 2-14 marks Malleus and Yuu’s first meeting. Malleus sort of trespassed Ramshackle Dorm property and was quite surprised to find someone is living there. Yuu didn’t know Malleus back then and once again, this came as a surprise for Malleus. When he asked their name, Yuu gave him his name but Malleus didn’t give his name for “If they knew who he was, it would certainly leave a chilling impression.” (We will come back to this later, let’s put a pin on this). Malleus left after that, saying that he would need to find another abandoned building to walk around at night.

Octavinelle Arc:

There are two episodes where we meet Malleus: 3-24 and 3-37.

3-24 took place after we failed the second day because we got our asses beaten in Azul’s office. Malleus, or Tsuno-tarou as we decided to call thanks to Grim’s suggestion., once again returned for his nightly visit and found the dorm was way noisier than before. After Yuu told him about their situations, Malleus said something about gargoyle: how even though they look scary, they protect the house from torrential rain. Connecting this with our situations, Yuu picked up that Azul’s contracts are not as invincible as the thought.

In 3-37, we managed to get back to our dorm and Malleus appeared again. He wouldn’t have guessed that we would win against Azul and how he would like to see the ever calm Ashengrotto make a terrified face for it “must have been quite a sight”.

Scarabia Arc

Malleus didn’t appear in Scarabia Arc at all, but a certain scene in Episode 4-39 managed to gain some attention, because the fact that he sent a holiday card through Lilia.

Pomefiore Arc

In exchange for the holiday card, in Episode 5-48, Yuu gave Malleus a ticket to VDC which surprised Malleus how Yuu “know not the meaning of fear”. 

In Episode 5-67 however, might be the most important interaction so far. After the overblot battle, Malleus arrived to the destroyed coliseum. This is when Yuu learnt that "Tsuno-tarou" real name is “Malleus Draconia, the next head of the Valley of Thorns”. After retelling what had happened, Malleus fixed the stadium because he “was simply interested in seeing them (the NRC Tribe) perform” and Vil better “show him a performance I will never forget”. Oh, and he let Yuu to still call him  "Tsuno-tarou".

Ignihyde Arc

Malleus appeared in 6-14 until 6-18, however he and Yuu doesn’t have any direct interact because they are mostly focusing on the attack from STYX. After that, Yuu and Malleus doesn’t interact again until the 6-83 where Malleus noticed Yuu being fine, even if it was cut with Ace and Deuce.

.

About Malleus and Loneliness

Before we can see why Malleus and Yuu interaction is important, we need to see Malleus from a certain angle: the loneliness angle. 

It had been a running gag of Malleus not being invited because he seems inapproachable and students fear him as seen in the Prologue-3. We also see how Malleus isn’t invited in the dorm leader meeting in Episode 2-6 and Episode 5-2. When he does get invited, like during the VDC or the Yasmina River Firework Festival, he tends to come the earliest so he wouldn’t miss it. This shows how Malleus really wants to be part of something or at least having the connection with the others. You can be seen with how he really care for his tamagochi-like game that he got from Lilia (imagine a virtual pet). When it got wet, he’s pretty upset for that and he’s pretty grateful that Deuce can fix it. He even wish for his tamagochi to make friends.

Malleus himself has a lonely life, despite being a prince. In the Scalding Sands' Al'ab Nariya, he said that as a crown prince of Briar Valley, he cannot leave his country, which might cause why he doesn’t quite understand with technology because of the sheltered lifestyle. In his 2021 birthday interview, the only family member that he mentioned is his grandmother who is the queen, meaning that he possibly doesn’t have any siblings and is an only child, thus there’s no other option of who will be next in line except Malleus. As the crown prince, he had a big duty for his country, thus he’s dedicated to his role, like how he memorized how to survive on a deserted island in his 2022 birthday interview and why he can’t go courting Princess Eliza despite filling the height criteria in Ghost Marriage Event.

We can also see this with Malleus relationship with time. We knows that fae ages different than humans, thus they will live longer than most of the cast, as mentioned how he doesn’t feel any different when during his birthday and see how humans celebrate their birthday is quite peculiar. This is enhanced how Malleus has been thinking hard at the final episode of Ignihyde Arc on how, as Lilia said, human life is “like a this silk thread spinning on a wheel, easy to break".

Episode 6-52 makes a great highlight for this. Despite only meeting Yuu a couple of time in the main story, The Player has left a great impact in Malleus, being a constant relationship.

MALLEUS: I’ve come here seeking solace.

LILIA: … This place has been quite a favorite of yours since entering the school.

MALLEUS: Indeed. It hasn’t been quite the same since Yuu arrived…

MALLEUS: I initially felt disappointed when he first started living here.

MALLEUS: I enjoy desolate places. Ivy creeping through the cracks in the walls, wind sneaking in through the broken windows…

MALLEUS: The silence and solitude present in places no longer frequented by humans puts me at ease.

MALLEUS: History leaves its mark not only on us, and it makes me feel less alone.

LILIA: ………

MALLEUS: Still, I wonder why…

MALLEUS: Yuu has gone, and no one wanders these halls tonight…

MALLEUS: It’s as if a thorn has pricked me. I feel nothing but discomfort.

MALLEUS: It looks as desolate as I’ve always fancied, and yet…

LILIA: Malleus……

.

The Setback of MalleYuu

Before we can talk about this, this is a friendly reminded that this is viewing MalleYuu in a romantic light and is about Game Yuu/The Player not OC Yuu. Mostly when we’re speaking about MalleYuu, it’s often to be directed to romance. We’ll be addressing that, but keep this in mind.

Now, with that. Is it possible for a MalleYuu endgame?

Possibly no. At least for romantic relationship. As far as we see, Malleus and Yuu are mostly strictly platonic. But why is romantic relationship not possible? Well, there are couple of reasons, but I’ll be talking about the big two:

1. The Fae Prince and the Isekai-ed Human (feat. the discourse between fae and human)

We need to look back to where Yuu and Malleus stand. Yuu is a human from a world without magic who got transferred to Twisted-Wonderland for reason unknown for now. Meanwhile, Malleus is one of the strongest magician in the world and the crown prince of a fae country.

Clearly, just from looking at this, there’s a status difference which would make any romantic relationship ala “star crossed lovers” is almost impossible. 

As mentioned in the early section, Malleus is a crown prince. He doesn’t have any siblings, thus he’s the only one who can be next in line. The risk is way to big for romantic relationship with anyone that doesn’t give any benefit to the kingdom. Even in Ghost Marriage Event, Lilia said that "...even as a bluff, we can't let the next in line to the Valley of Thorns' throne go around proposing to ghosts. It would be a disaster for international relations". He couldn’t even do a fake-out proposal in risk of political disaster.

We also need to remind ourselves that Yuu/The Player is not from Twisted-Wonderland. Imagine the risk of having relationship with someone from another world. If there’s a chance of Yuu/The Player return or vanish to their original world, will the royal court approve the relationship? Not to mention, Yuu/The Player is canonically has no gender, thus there’s also a possibly of marrying Malleus wouldn’t even give birth to an heir, thus there’s no benefit for the kingdom. As we have seen in many kingdom fantasy story, many would prefers marriage that would favor political marriage rather than your traditional marriage with love.

In addition we have to point out how human and fae aren’t in a good relationship as Lilia’s wish in his Wish Upon a Star Event. He stated that he had been wishing this for years which implied it still going to this day. This would mean that Malleus knows about this as well. We could assume that Malleus might have a benefit of doubt, considering the school is filled with humans in a better light, but we can’t deny that he might aware of this.

2. Not Enough Building (feat. other mortals beside Yuu)

As we’ve seen in the first part of the main story interactions, Malleus and Yuu only talks a few times but they barely know anything about each others. Heck, Yuu only knows Malleus’ real name in Episode 5-67. Assuming that one semester is six month in Night Raven College, this can means that Yuu, despite being in the school for six months, doesn’t seem to know or make an attempt to research about anything surrounding the tall Diasomnia student with horns, seen how everyone is surprised of how everyone is surprised of the nicknames both in Episode 5-54 and Episode 5-67. (We also need to remember that “Tsuna-tarou” isn’t even something that Yuu thought of. Grim was the one who suggested it in Episode 2-16.)

Yes, that Malleus seems to value Yuu’s existence as said in Episode 6-52, however this is not enough to build a romantic relationship. We’ve complained a lot about Disney movie and how “you can’t marry people you just met”, but in this scenario, can you really fall in love with someone who you don't even know their true name?

Another thing that might be an argument is that Yuu is the only human who doesn’t see Malleus as a prince. While this might be true, we also need to remember that (1) Yuu is not native to Twisted-Wonderland thus might not understand the weight Malleus’ status, and (2) as said before, Yuu never made an attempt in research or Malleus even mentioning about it. While we can take this as Malleus being secretive, but do you really want to be in a romantic relationship with someone who isn’t being truthful or keeping secrets from you?

In addition, Malleus can have relationship with other humans. Like, Vil who is the only one who even mention that Malleus isn’t in the prefect meeting in Episode 2-6 and Episode 5-2. Or Riddle who Malleus at least respects as seen in Riddle’s Groom-for-A-Day card. Even Leona has one-sided rivalry with him as seen in Savanaclaw Episode and Malleus’ Ceremonial Robe. We can’t also forget that Silver is a human and is Malleus guard who Lilia raised, thus they might meet very frequently even before the main story. What makes Yuu’s relationship with Malleus, who only has at least six face-to-face conversations in the six months of main story, has greater weight than any other?

.

In Conclusion

Malleus and Yuu’s relationship has been a highlight of the game, however With weak development and in-game political weight, it’s seems that possible romantic relationship might be too far fetch. However, I do want to add that a platonic relationship between Malleus and Yuu can be reach, considering how lonely Malleus might feels and how Yuu is the new constant. 

Also, a little note: not every interaction is romantic. If we see Malleus and Yuu as platonic friends, then this development is understandable. But if go straight with MalleYuu as romantic partners, then this is a very weak romance. You don’t become lovers before knowing each others. And with Yuu only knowing Malleus real name in Episode 5, you can’t say they have romantic interest with each others.

.

And that’s so far what I can say about. I might miss some things like how I don’t mention any Halloween Event or more card stories, mostly because I haven’t found any reliable translation just yet.

I do want to remind all readers that if your OC Yuu is shipped with Malleus, it’s fine. This is not me banning everyone to not ship Malleus with their Yuu, this is just a short look into the canon relationship.

Whether MalleYuu is canon or not, it’s up to Episode 7 to present it for us.

Thank you for reading~!

[silentprincess17]

The Perils of Swimming

This fic is a collab between me and the wonderfully talented artist @neivaloz on tumblr! Check out her awesome artwork that accompanies this fic! I love how we inspired each other and I look forward to more!

Summary: Link agrees to go swimming with Zelda when she gets her body back. He does not think this through, because there is one major problem: he can't swim.

Read on AO3 here!

Now that the sea in Aboda Village was directly in front of him, with Zelda no longer a ghost and made of flesh and skin, her promise of taking him out to swim actually a reality and not a passing comment at Papuchia Village, Link was beginning to regret the rashness with which he had said yes.

He hadn’t expected her to actually take it seriously. In the throes of the whirlwind adventure, he hadn’t anticipated she would actively remember, let alone take it to heart- it was now... four months since they had reclaimed the Ocean Realm? Which means it was roughly two months since they defeated Malladus. Towards the end, time seemed to fuse together, and life boiled down to essentially overcoming whatever barrier was in their way at the time. First it was restoring the tracks, then obtaining the Compass, followed by the Bow of Light and finally entering the Dark Realm to fight Malladus with the Lokomo Sword strapped to his back. By the time they reached the Compass, Link had more or less lost all notion of time, as Zelda and he grew progressively more panicked with each setback and it became an increasingly hectic race to save her body…

Link had chosen to stick with his engineering, primarily. He still felt he was more of a rookie soldier who only knew how to perform vague attacks that just so happened to work out in his favour, and without Zelda’s help as a Phantom he most certainly would have failed from the get-go. With that in mind, he chose to continue with what he had trained for up until now: to pilot the trains with mechanical engineering as his mainstay. Still, he didn’t want to completely lose what sword skills he had developed, so he regularly stopped at Hyrule Castle to train with Captain Russel and his guards. (The latter was really just an excuse to see Zelda before. Or afterwards. Most of the time it was both.)

And yesterday, Friday night, was one of those times he had gone to training, visiting Zelda before he supposedly went home for the weekend.

What he hadn’t expected was for her to insist on coming with him back to Aboda Village. He would never refuse her anything, and he assumed she might have wanted to meet Alfonso, or Niko, or really just visit his hometown, and he had agreed, staying at the castle that night. Zelda had long since given him a room close to hers, as a “more convenient place to stay” seeing how central the castle was to the rest of Hyrule.

Taking all that together, it was a surprise when she dragged him across to the small beach, where the sun sparkled against the deep blue sea, unclasped her belt that had the small sash attached to it, and pulled her dress off.

He gaped, before hurriedly turning away, “Zel! What are you doing?!”

“Taking my dress off silly, I’ve got my swimsuit underneath! We’re going swimming! I’ve finally, finally, caught up with the paperwork that accumulated whilst we were on our journey, and I finished my lessons in advance this week, for this reason! I know it’s not Papuchia, but there’s always a next time!”

What? Swimming? NEXT TIME?!

Nope, he had to ignore that for now. There was the issue of surviving the first-time round.

Because the idiot that he was, he couldn’t swim!

He lived in what was basically a seaside town, and yet, he couldn’t even paddle in the water, let alone swim.

He would drown as soon as the water reached higher than his neck!

“Link? It’s not too late, is it? I know it’s a little bit later than what I originally intended for when asking you, but there was just so much reordering to do in the Kingdom. Plus, you remember the whole scribing thing we had to undertake; it all took up so much more time than I expected. And then the weather was just awful this past week whenever I had some free time...”

Oh yes, he remembered the scribing. That whole incident had happened a week after their return to the castle, where Link had stayed behind both to physically recover himself from exhaustion and his wounds, and simultaneously help Zelda adjust to the land of the living.

On the first day, she had walked into so many doors and walls he thought she might have concussed herself, she regularly forgot she had to eat, and she didn’t have any fear of heights, despite the fact that falling with a body had pretty serious consequences. Consequently, Link felt honour bound to try to help her to remember she was, in fact, Hylian, and as such susceptible to many perils that she seemed to have forgotten over the course of the long months she spent as a spirit. Plus, she was very cute, and he blushed every time he felt her grip his hand excitedly, or drag his arm towards a bookshelf, or give him impromptu hugs for helping her.

Niko had cornered them after a week, wondering where Link had gotten too. When he found the two of them nibbling on sweet buns from Castle Town, a book on maps wedged firmly on their thighs, Link’s arm resting on the panel just above her shoulders; Niko had pulled a right fit. He had fussed over Link before declaring he would now create a tapestry to commemorate the newest iteration of legendary events. And that had taken the better part of two weeks to complete, and was now referred to as the “scribing” by Zelda and him.

“Link! Are you going to change your clothes or not? That’s the second reason why I didn’t drag you to Papuchia, because I forgot to tell you to pack your trunks.” She paused, “You do have trunks, right?”

No, no he didn’t. He’d just sacrifice an old pair of cargo pants he had. It would be fine. Probably. He made a vague motion towards his house, before deciding to put the Hero’s cap on. It would hopefully hold some of his hair back, and it would bring him luck on this death quest he was about to embark on.

Why?

Why did he put himself through this?

He sighed. He knew the answer.

This was all because he couldn’t say no to her.

He shuffled back into his home, Niko popping up whilst he half-heartedly opened his wardrobe and shuffled around some more. Spirits. He didn’t want to go back out. He didn’t want to admit to Zelda he didn’t know how to swim. Worse still, he didn’t want her to think badly of him for living by a seaside town, and yet, never having learnt such an essential skill.

Niko hobbled across on his cane to Link, peering around the wardrobe door.

“What’s with the long face? I thought you’d be excited, bringing the Princess over. Yes boy, I know she’s here, everyone heard the two of you enter town. It’s a small place, Link.”

He fished out an old, half-faded blue pair of shorts. “Zelda wants to go swimming, Niko.”

Niko’s eyes widened, “What? But you-”

Link slammed the wardrobe door shut with perhaps more force than necessary. “I know.”

Niko hesitated, before he placed a gnarled hand on Link’s shoulder. “I have a question for you Link… Do you know of any of Princess Zelda’s weaknesses?”

Well, that one was easy. “She’s absolutely terrified of mice. She will literally jump into my arms, or onto my back, to escape them.” He chuckled, “Even as a giant Phantom, three times my height, she couldn’t come near one.” He hesitated, thinking back to their recent conversations on her balcony under the stars, “She’s also scared of not doing well... but I guess this is a fear we all have…”

“That’s your answer then, Link.”

Huh? Why would knowing what Zelda was scared of make any difference?

“I can see you are still confused. Let me make it clearer. Did you judge the Princess for having those failings? Did you at any point think less of her?”

He vehemently shook his head, before stopping midway as it finally sunk in.

Oh.

Niko simply tapped his cane against the floor twice, before ambling off. “I’ll make some fried chicken for you both. One always gets hungry after swimming in the sea.”

Link scrambled into his shorts, and then ran out, just as Zelda walked up to meet him. “You were gone for an awfully long time, Link. I don’t want to imagine how disorganised your wardrobe is-”

The words bubbled out, “Zelda I don’t know how to swim.”

“-at least you’ve got some… are those even trunks? Well-”

“Zelda.” He grabbed her hand, shaking her arm a little, “Zelda!”

“What?”

“I don’t know how to swim.”

She stared, stupefied. “Why didn’t you say? I would have brought my floats!”

It was his turn to gape. “Floats?”

She waved her hands in the air. “You know those things you use to keep you upright in the water.” A frown grew on her face, “Wait, does everyone here not know how to swim? That’s quite dangerous! We’ll have to change that.”

She shook her head, gently clasped his hand, pulling him along, “But that’s for later. I’ll teach you today, Link, if you want?”

He nodded, and she smiled.

“Let’s start off with paddling first, and then progress to basic kicks!”

Time flew by again, as he started off gently peddling his feet in the water, arms spread out wide, head just about jutting above the water line as he hovered, suspended in the sea, for the first time. Once he’d mastered just holding his weight in the water they proceeded onto kicks. That involved first thrashing his legs whilst gripping onto the ridge of land to hold himself in place. Then he advanced to doing one leg at a time like a proper swimming pattern. Zelda wrapped her arms around his middle, and he had a go at moving both arms and legs in synchrony.

He was surprised she could carry him, “Link, I do exercise you know. I’m not just a fluffy Princess. Being a Phantom was quite the experience.”

She heaved him higher, and he spluttered in the water, thrashing his arms a bit at the unexpected heave, “I liked being strong, and being able to help you. So, I’m going to do the best I can with my current body too. You never know, it might prove useful on our next adventure!”

He could only smile. He thanked the Spirits for giving him the chance to meet Zelda. For going on their convoluted journey. For having her as his best friend.

Soon enough, she gently let go of him, and moved to interlock her fingers with his hands as she guided him through the waves, his legs doing the measured, purposeful kicks they had practised.

He was so focussed, he hadn’t at all noticed Alfonso on the shore, until he called out to them, probably wondering what Link was even doing in the water. Zelda told Link to keep on kicking his legs as she slowly walked backwards, screamed back that he was okay and that he was learning to swim. Both of them cringed as they heard Alfonso guffaw loudly and watched as he shook his head, walking off towards the station.

“Well, we’re nearly there, Link!” She loosened her grip on his left hand, moving to clasp his wrist instead, “I’m barely holding onto you! You’re doing it! You’re swimming!”

And he gave her the biggest smile he could, as she slowly let go, wading backwards, and he swam by himself towards her, for the very first time.

Suddenly, the idea of doing this again was no longer so horrifying.

What was there to worry about when he had Zelda, his partner, his best friend, by his side?

[shadowstalker732]

ALRIGHT LETS GIVE THIS POSTING THING A GO

MY REVAN TIME (one of them at least)

Also spoiler warning a guess for a game over a decade old? (Am I meant to say spoiler warning? Who knows not me)

(Please don’t yell at me about stats I do what I want)

Anyway first playthrough where I don’t stop and hard restart Tarris or Dantooine 13 times because choice reasons and me forgetting that stealth is useless and just letting the game auto level for me (learnt that the hard way), I’ve basically done Tatooine but I haven’t beaten the dragon yet cos I wanted to bugger off to another planet first and chose Kashyyyk. And I’m down in the shadow lands now (do not worry Zaalbar I WILL GET YOU BACK) and yeah that’s where I’m at.

ANYWAY, Shay or Shar Stalker (because the game won’t let me do non-binary) is a light side Revan. Good of heart dumb of ass and yet will still rob you dry if you place bets on a strategy game against them. Height wise around the 1.6m mark (5′3″ for the Americans). Prefers the double lightsaber look (currently got a short green one and a normal blue one for amnesia version). Not a flirt but definitely had something going on with my Exile in the past but that ended in the Mando war at some point… teenagers in war don’t usually do well mentally wise.. back story and post events of Kotor under the cut (also warning it’s long, like super long, and goes into their future story? As well)

SO BACKSTORY,

Shar got some Mando blood floating in their veins from some ancestor and that causes them to go full buir sometimes hence why Mission, Zaalbar, HK-47, T3-M4 and Juhani get bed time stores aboard the Ebon Hawk and chocolate space milk whenever they stop (Rev gets some too because who doesn’t love some good old Choccy milk), droid duo get cleaned basically daily while Bastila gets the bird for even thinking that this is a waste of time and resources.

Wait I said backstory… TEMPLE LIFE!

Rascal trio with Exile and Alek at their heels. All three, good of heart dumb of ass. Shar was a prodigy and excelled in basically all Jedi subjects at the time, was pretty popular with most people and just a nice person who didn’t stand for bullshit. Got into a few “heated” (honestly that’s an understatement) arguments with council members about how some things in the galaxy were handled but mostly had a positive response from people. At this time their main saber was purple and their off hand a short cyan. Joined the Republic in the Mandalorian wars a few months before their 17′th birthday. Didn’t not return to the Temple once after leaving for war.

The War 

(I should mention I get most of my knowledge from wiki skims (not deep reads) and other Tumblr posts so if it’s off canon… it’s my story and Star Wars is my sand box so I MAKE THE RULES HERE BABY!)

After many battles and the relationship between the battle trio growing stronger with time it was also weakening. At one point Shar and Exile had a romantic relationship going but only kept that going for a few months, they both decided that this was not the time to be doing this and if they both survived would actually give the lovers thing a shot (doesn’t happen). Throughout the war all three realise that they must make sacrifices to stop the war, the old saying “sacrifice one to save the many” is said often between the three at first before it becomes second nature. During one of the battles Shar’s cyan lightsaber is completely destroyed including the crystal being completely shattered. After taking the mantle of the Revanchist only uses the name Revan and never removes the helmet unless it’s only the trio and only then will respond to their old names. All three are slipping mentally in this war but have all managed to hold onto the Light side by trusting each other. After the mass shadow generator event Revan looses all contact with Exile (force and otherwise) and assumes death, despite it being Revan’s own order it’s a major pushing point towards the dark.

The End of the War

Revan faces off against Mandalore the Ultimate and slays him, in his dying breathe speaks of the Sith Empire growing in the Unknown Regions and how this war wasn’t only about giving the Mandalorian’s a good fight but also to weaken the republic for Ultimates Empire allies. Not many Mandalorians knew of the Sith truth behind the war and just followed their Mandalor’s word that this war would bring them the honour of a good fight, and it did in a way. After Revan learns of the empire growing hidden amongst uncharted routes, knew that the council would never believe them and so took matters into their own hands. Taking a fleet and insisting it was to chase down the last of the Mandalorian high command, Revan left for the unknown regions.

The Unknown 

Yeah everything went to shit. Rev and Alek get captured and Sith tortured and kind probed by old man Sith Emperor but in that time Revan gains acute knowledge via reverse mind prob, of how the Sith empire is running, where resources are coming from and key weak points. During this time Alek falls completely and Revan fains it for now. Torture continues for a good while until Revan makes the choice that they have been making all through out the war “sacrifice one to save the many”… Revan embraces the dark side and makes a plan, a plan to empower the known galaxy enough to destroy the “true” Sith empire by uniting it as their own Sith empire. Revan knows light will always rise to face the dark and that the light side is strong, someone will rise to take them down after the “true” Sith empire is defeated and only in death will Revan have fulfilled their promise to the unknown Mandalorian and finally be able to be one with the force. Revan embraces the dark fast and is soon sent off by the Sith emperor who thinks Revan is under his control to take control of the star forge and start building the Sith army in the known galaxy, Revan assumes command with now Malek as their right hand.

Beginning of Darth Revan

Basically what is described in the first Kotor game, Darth Duo go find star maps, get to forge, start fucking up the galaxy yadeyadeya. Malek pulls a sick move and fucks up Revan’s plan to stop the Sith Emperor and boom Amnesia time baby. Oh also during Sith times used a red and their old purple lightsaber but when they got captured by Bastila both lightsaber’s goy yoinked and locked up on Coruscant for simple reasons. 

No Memory Time Baby

Council is smart as fuck and call them Shay Stalker AKA their old name to see if that will reawaken light memories or thoughts in Revan and basically try and nudge amnesia Rev to stay lightside cos they don’t want to see their lost padawan fall back to the dark, (Jedi are a complicated subject), also ONLY SHAY no mention of their other name Shar at all! So that will cause problems later for poor Rev when they start remembering things :), basically the game from here on. Memories of a calm life on a farming planet before joining the military, lost both their siblings (AKA Alek and Exile) while away on service. Joined to stop the Sith from taking any more innocent lives. Throughout the game Shay try’s to help as many people as they can and choose the option that will benefit good and innocent people, constantly says fuck to corporations and nasty people, is not afraid to kill a bitch. As I haven’t completed the game fully (but I am planing a lightside finish and I’m not exactly sure when the “I am Revan” bit comes in I’m gonna leave this as it is. Oh and blue main saber and a short green saber with a crystal they managed to purify (AKA was red but returned to its natural colour through meditation and force cleansing, also helped by Bastila)

Memories

Like I said I haven’t finished the game yet BUT after the whole “oh fuck oh stars IM REVAN?????” Lots of shit starts to make sense and the force “spell” (I’m gonna call it spell) that repressed Revan’s memories had already begun to weaken somewhat before this point but this kinda opens the flood gates but not too far just enough for it to not make any sense at all. Team is there for Rev and the game finishes lightside. (Also I know I said this rev not gonna romance but this is post game stuff now and I just don’t wanna romance Bastila in game so yeah) ANYWAY, Revan and Bastila build a healthy relationship together and Revan starts to regain a lot of memories that their friends help them through. Revan remembers why they took the name Revan and actually goes to Coruscant to the high council to explain why they put on the helmet in the first place and the Council adheres to Revan’s request and returns the original helmet. The Star forged one stays in storage for now. Revan also requests their old armour and lightsabers to help regain memories as to why they fell, the council is hesitant at this request and only allows Revan to meditate with their old things at the main temple with a council member present. Over one or two years a lot comes back but there is still a few key dates, names, moments and details missing. Oh and Revan uses force powers to make Bastila preggers. IF BOBA FETT CAN SURVIVE A SARLAC AND PALPATINE CAN EXIST IN THE SEQUELS. REVAN CAN PULL FORCE BULLSHIT TOO!

The Unknown part 2: Electric boogaloo 

Revan finally remembers what made them go dark and realises they fucked up their own plans pretty bad and the Republic IS WORSE OFF THAN HOW IT STARTED COS OPPS REVAN ACCIDENTALLY KILLED A SHIT TON OF FORCE USERS LIGHT AND DARK SO yeah. Bastila was holding the brain cell of the force bond in this moment and Revan decides the best course of action is to go face the Emperor alone… fucking brilliant Revan how the fuck did you win the Mandalorian wars again my good sir? Revan tells Bastila that they (Rev) has been assigned a mission to infiltrate the remanence of Revan’s old Sith Empire and basically destroy it from within and that this mission is basically so hush hush that Bastila isn’t meant to know but Revan thought it only fair to say that they would be gone for potentially a long time for this mission and Bastila, unaware that this would be the last time she saw them, accepted this goodbye and hoped they would return before their baby was born. But Revan has always been a good lier… even to themselves. Without anymore fuss they left the Known Galaxy leaving all their friends and family behind never to be seen again to face off against the bitch that started it all. (I haven’t read the novels or played the SWTOR game and never plan to do either so again I say this is wiki knowledge that I’m doing what ever I please with that knowledge because Star Wars is a sand pit and I’m the kindy kid that’s decided to sit and play with it today)

Mmmmm Watcha SaaaaaaaAy

Revan gets their ass handed to them and imprisoned for three hundred years and tortured and mind probed AGAIN. Also cut off their connections to any other force user to ensure old dude couldn’t get to them as well. Absolutely not having a good time here. After the 300 years of PAIN the force within Revan gets so fucked up that their physicality splits into two entirely separate beings, Dark Revan and Light Revan. When this happens the prison breaks and Light Revan makes their escape and gets out barely alive while Dark Revan hangs back and swears allegiance to Sith Empire and starts plotting to overthrow old dude cos Sith. Light Revan makes it back to the council and they heal them and have a very hard time believing they are Revan until Revan perfectly describes a gift they gave Bastila before they left that now a descendent of Revan now owns. The council doesn’t understand how Revan split into two entire different beings but accept “the force acts in mysterious ways at times”. Revan is FINALLY given knighthood and helps prepare the republic for the Sith Empire that hasn’t attacked yet but definitely will soon. And this is where Tarre comes in.

Mando Time Yeah!

My Tarre will get his own beefy post (def not as big as this one) maybe tomorrow or the next day so for now it’s just what Tarre does and means to Revan. ANYWHO, Tarre becomes Light Revan’s padawan. (I should mention that Light Revan despite being called Light Revan is leaning towards a grey area within the force but isn’t down right evil like dark Revan is. Dark Revan is killing puppies of an endangered species cos their bored evil). Tarre is Revan’s padawan and becomes a knight. Revan enjoys teaching Tarre about the force and understanding how Tarre was brought up a Mandalorian and with the peace between Jedi and Mandalorian’s at this point was welcomed into the Jedi temple later than most. Revan raises Tarre like he is their own son/little brother and they form an extremely powerful force bond because of it. I’ll go in depth on Tarre’s post but Tarre still gets Mando training for 4 months of the year but the jedi training is the rest of the year. Revan joins Tarre when he return to Mandalore to continue his Mando training and learns more about Mandalorian history and culture while there. While on Mandanlore Light Revan truely feels relaxed for once despite random Mando’s sometimes jumping out and challenging them to fights because apparently Revan is now a ghost story and a feared mighty warrior legend and when anyone finds out that Revan is “alive” immediately tries to prove that they are stronger than Revan (which they are not). A few years after Tarre is knighted the war with the True Sith Empire begins.

I don’t know what to call this bit sooooo UWU

Battles, fights, old shit, it’s a war. Revan proves to be supper fucking useful in leadership but doesn’t do as much “sacrifice one to save the many” moves anymore. Revan keeps predicting what the Sith are gonna do an THATS cos Dark Revan is leading the, and Revan knows Revan best but not the reverse. Light Revan knows how Dark Revan will act but Dark Revan doesn’t know how Light Revan will act since Light Revan technically includes Shay/Shar, Mandalorian War Revan, Amnesiac Shay, and post Amnesia. While Dark Revan is only really Darth Revan and post Amnesia so Light Revan technically outweighs Dark Revan. I’ve probably butchered that explanation or done it too late but that’s how it’s gonna be cos it’s midnight and I wanna finish this and post it today. ANYWAY, final battle between the Revan’s. They have a massive duel on the battle field and eventually Light Revan strikes Dark Revan down but also receives some pretty nasty injuries. Light Revan understands the need to be whole again and as Dark Revan “dies” reunites with that half of the force and Revan returns but Revan is so done, so fucking done with living and trying and they had a good run and now they have what was Dark Revan’s and Light Revan’s injuries all on one body and sure if Rev really tried they could probably suck the life force out of some Sith warriors to keep themselves alive but… they just don’t want to. Eventually Tarre finds the fallen Revan reunited at last and stays by their side as Revan finally lets go and becomes one with the force. After the battle Tarre brings Revan’s body back to the Temple to be burnt as Revan had requested but their armour, lightsabers, and other possessions would be taken to a place only Tarre knew of to be sealed away until a far descendent of Revan’s comes along to claim them as their own. The war isn’t over and Revan’s passing only fuels Tarre further into defeating the Sith empire that the republic eventually does after 20 years of war. 

Conclusion 

And that’s the overall story of this Revan, I know very long, very deep, wtf this is your second post after a what? 1 year break? Actually let me check… yeah nope about a year has passed since my Crash post. If you have made it this far thanks for reading my first ever “decent” post about something I’ve been developing for a while now in bits and pieces. Sorry it was so long but then again I did miss a lot of shit. If you want to interact and ask more questions about this Revan go ahead my ask box is open (don’t be weird tho and just cos I post long doesn’t mean you have to ask long unless it’s legit). I’ll try and get the Tarre post out tomorrow around this time too or earlier depends. Thanks again for taking the time to read my word vomit. Also sorry if there are any spelling mistakes I have missed.

Have a good one!

[outerbankswriting]

Could it be? Chapter 11 (JJ x Reader)

JJ x Reader

CH.1 - CH.2 - CH.3 - CH.4 - CH.5 - CH.6 - CH.7 - CH.8 - CH.9 - CH.10

Description: She has a crush on JJ, but he has always seen her as another one of the “dudes”, or  at least that’s what she thinks so she just doesn’t even try anymore, until things start to shift between the two of them. (A/N: I’M NOT GOOD AT DESCRIPTIONS BUT THESE IS JUST WHAT I WOULD LOVE TO HAPPEN IN OUTER BANKS WITH JJ)

A/N: THIS CHAPTER GOT DELETED BC TUMBLR WANTED TO MAKE ME CRY FOR A BIT SO I HAD TO REPOST..

Warnings: mentions of sexual trauma

CHAPTER 11

You shot a glance at Sarah once she finished spilling all your business. You watched as she gave you an innocent smile after realising you didn’t want everyone to know about Rafe yet.

“Look, I can explain alright?” You sighed as you reached for a beer. It was going to be a long day.

“Please do.” Kie muttered, raising her eyebrow at you.

You looked at JJ who was staring straight into your eyes, you couldn’t tell if he was hurt or angry but either of those options made your stomach twist.

“He promised that if I faked it for a night, he would leave all of us alone which means th-”

“And you believed him?” Pope was quick to cut you off.

“Why would you even trust Rafe Cameron in the first place?” John B added.

“If you would all stop interrupting me, then maybe I would be able to clear your doubts.” You spat coldly at your friends.

“Go on then.” Kie nodded.

“It’s just for the night, so he can be on the clear with his father and have no problems whatsoever,” you bit your lip, “after that I’m completely done with him.”

The silence was broken by JJ’s sarcastic laugh, making you immediately stare at his movements.

“Well I think it’s bullshit,” he gulped down his beer before standing up, “and if you’re trusting Rafe Cameron, then you can’t be trusted either.”

His words hit you like a thousand knives on the chest.

He definitely felt betrayed by you but his anger was stronger than the pain he was feeling. He tossed the empty beer on the sand, ignoring Kie’s complaining and gave you a final glare before walking away from the group.

“JJ,” you sighed and rushed to walk towards him, ignoring whatever your friends were complaining about as well, “JJ wait!”

You tried to walk faster towards him but the sand wasn’t letting you catch up to his pace.

“JJ stop!” You yelled a little louder but he kept walking.

You decided to run towards him, ignoring how ridiculous you looked trying to run in the sand for trying to chase a guy.

“JJ let me talk to you.” You grabbed his arm making him turn to face you.

His eyes drifted to the sea, not bothering to look at yours.

He was stubborn and you knew him too well to know how whenever he gets angry, his mind becomes clouded with his own thoughts, not bothering to listen or try to understand anything.

“Do you honestly think I want to talk to you right now?” He spat out.

But he was not the only stubborn one here, you were not going to let him leave without first making him listen to you.

“I want you to listen.”

“I don’t want to listen.” His jaw clenched and he pulled his arm away from you.

You were starting to get annoyed but you couldn’t blame him for feeling this way.

“JJ stop walking away from me!”

“You listen to me!” He raised his voice at you as he walked closer to you, your eyes starting to water at his actions, “I cannot trust you if you keep lying to my face!”

“I never lied to you JJ!”

“You said you were not going back to him!”

“I’m not!”

“Then why the fuck are you going as his girlfriend to the stupid party?!”

His eyes were filled with anger and your face probably looked like the one of a scared puppy since JJ’s features softened at the realisation of how loud he was raising his voice at you and how he was projecting his anger.

“I just can’t believe how you can still trust him after everything he’s done.” He lowered his voice but the anger still hadn’t left him.

“Nothing’s going to happen between us JJ,” you slowly walked closer to him, afraid he was going to walk away at any second, “I’m not going to let it happen.”

JJ licked his lips while shaking his head in frustration, he tried to avoid eye contact with you but failed once you softly caressed his cheek, making him calm down a bit.

“If that asshole lays a finger on you, I promise I’m going to kill him.” He muttered as his breathing got slower.

“Sarah is going to be there,” you said and grabbed his hand, “and so will my parents JJ. It’s just one night and then Rafe will be out of our lives.”

His eyes softened as you kept caressing his cheek and holding his hand. You watched as he slightly nodded, knowing he was still not trusting Rafe.

“Let’s go home okay?” You whispered before giving him a light kiss.

The two of you went to your house, not really bothering on letting your friends know you weren’t going back to the beach. You were probably going to send a text later to Kie explaining her everything. Right now all you cared about was calming JJ down and letting him know things were going to be alright.

Once you were in the comfort of your bedroom you decided to grab some beers from the fridge to loosen up a bit and forget the tension that had built a few minutes ago.

You knew JJ was still upset and angry since he wasn’t really talking.

“Last to finish their beer has to cook dinner.” You playfully winked at him before taking a big gulp of your beer.

You noticed JJ take a sip of his beer, not really following your little game to cheer things up.

“JJ come on,” you sat down on the bed next to him, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you last night.”

“It’s not only that Y/N,” he said softly this time, “it’s the fact you always tell me your relationship with him was bad and I know there’s something about him you’ve been hiding from me.”

You didn’t know what to say so you just stared at your bed covers.

“Do you see?” JJ went on, “How can I trust you completely if you can’t even trust me?”

“I do trust you JJ,” you sighed, “I just,”

You took a deep breath, thinking about the right way to tell him.

“I have never talked about this to anyone because it scares me.”

His eyebrows furrowed as he moved closer to you.

“What do you mean Y/N?” He softly grabbed your hand.

“I just don’t know how to say it.” Your voice trembled and you felt your eyes start to tear up, JJ immediately cupping your face.

“Hey Y/N,” he whispered, “you can trust me, I’ll take care of you.”

You stared at his eyes while letting a few tears fall down your face. The two of you had already seen each other at your most vulnerable times and that’s what had made you feel so close to him.

You knew you had to tell JJ, you knew it was time to let it out, even if it scared you and even if you knew JJ would probably lose his shit.

You took a deep breath.

“I didn’t really want to do it with him,” your voice was low and soft and you noticed JJ’s jaw clench as he realised what you were talking about, “but I didn’t know how to tell him.”

You fought back the tears as you remembered the first time you had sex with Rafe and how you knew you weren’t ready but he somehow convinced you.

“It’s not like I told him I didn’t want to,” your voice trembled again, “I just let him do it because he was my boyfriend at the time even though I didn’t want to, and after the first time I didn’t want to do it again, but when I told him he got mad at me and he started hanging out with other girls so I just,”

You paused to stare at JJ, his eyes were once again filled with anger but there were also tears in them. His hand was still holding yours tightly, giving you the trust and confidence to keep going.

“I just did it again with him until I learnt to kind of enjoy it I guess? But there were more times I didn’t want to do it than times I did want to, and it just haunts me.”

You let the tears fall down as you felt a weight being lifted from your shoulders.

“JJ?” You asked once you noticed he remained silent, his eyes filled with tears and not leaving yours.

“That piece of shit.” He muttered as he trembled with rage.

“JJ,”

“I’m going to kill him.” He spat out coldly.

“JJ I told you this because I trust you, please,” you cupped his face, “stay out of this.”

“Are you kidding me Y/N?” He raised his eyebrows at you, “My fist on his face is the least I could to him to make him pay for what he did.”

“He never forced me to do it.”

“But he manipulated you Y/N.”

“I know that now,” you sighed, “but I didn’t know that back then.”

He nodded and bit his lip but you grabbed his face and made him stare straight into your eyes.

“I’m a different person now JJ, I’ve learnt from it.”

Just when his tears were about to fall down his face, he wrapped his arms around you, making you let out all the tears you were fighting back and feeling safe in his embrace.

“I will never hurt you Y/N,” he sobbed against your neck, “I’ll always take care of you.”

You weren’t even able to let out the words you wanted to tell him, you wanted to tell him how much you loved him but the words just wouldn’t come out because of your loud sobbing.

“I’ll be there.” He whispered once he let go of the embrace and cupped your face.

“What are you talking about?” You asked while wiping away the last tears falling from his eyes.

“I’m going to the party and I’ll be watching over you and I don’t care if your parents hate me for that.”

You smiled with tears in your eyes before nodding and softly placing your lips against his.

———————-

CH.12

A/N: I touched a pretty sensitive topic this chapter and I really want to talk about this. unwanted consensual sex (also known as gray zone sex) is a thing that happens to so many people and it’s not talked about enough. one of my closest friends experienced this and it has affected her sexual relationships deeply. if you’ve ever been through something like this please know that you’re not alone and you can always talk to me. you should never feel pressured to do sexual intercourse or any other sexual activities by anyone, not even your partner.

sorry for all the mess that’s been going on with my tumblr, I honestly don’t know what happened but tumblr support apparently already fixed it...

thank u so much if you’re still reading this story, means a lot!

——————–

[mymelodyheart]

All I Want For Christmas Is You Chapter 2 ~It’s Her Cue~

Previously in Sparks Will Fly ...

A slap on his back tore his gaze away from Claire. "Easy now lad," Willie said in a low, amused voice. "Ye look like ye could use the same drink as her."

Jamie glanced back at the subject of their conversation. "Aye, but make mine a double," he whispered.

"On it," Willie replied, laughing as he walked off.

What the bloody hell?  He should be withdrawing himself away from this attraction because this mad instant bond between them was like an overloaded electrical fuse, capable of incinerating him alive. He'd already learnt his lesson from his last relationship. He'd been there and done that, but yet he didn't have the will to stop himself from finding out how their connection would play out.

Oh, Christ, this is bad. So, so bad, I'm in so much big trouble.  Taking a huge sigh, he found himself a stool nearest to the pool table and watched Claire steal the show from the best snooker player in Broch Mordha.

If you wish to read this on AO3, here is the link.

If you wish to read this from the beginning:

AO3 link

Tumblr link

"Just polishing my balls for the lovely lass, here." 

The people around her howled with good-natured laughter.

Claire kept her head down as she sat on the edge of the stool, chalking her stick, waiting for Hugh to stop showing off and blathering with his mates, and to finally break. She felt eyes on her, and when she looked up, she met Jamie's gaze where he sat with his brother at the high table. 

Annalise leaned in from behind her and whispered, "Ginger can't stop looking at you."

Claire drew in substantial deep breaths. She'd watched Jamie play shinty earlier, and she thought he looked impressive then. Tall, strong, lithe, covered in mud and the epitome of a Highland warrior. Not that she had any idea what a Highland warrior would have looked like. After all, she only had the movie, Braveheart to go by. But who would have thought he'd show any interest in her. Perhaps, because she'd probably looked like she was about to climb him. Who could blame her, though? The moment he'd looked into her eyes, he stirred something inside her, which no man had ever done before him. And by some feat of willpower, she wondered how she'd succeeded not breaking into song right then and there. Up close earlier and now, sat only a few feet away, Jamie looked even better. Wavy auburn hair touched the collar of his plaid flannel shirt and the way his jeans hung low on hips, it shouldn't be even allowed. 

"He probably thinks I'm easy. You know how some rural folks think city people like us have loose morals."

Annalise gasped. "Why do you think he would think that?"

"I think I came on too strong and flirty," she confided in a low voice. "He's a man, so of course, he'd respond, and it probably works a treat for him too since I'm only here for a holiday. But my God, he's one fine specimen of a man, isn't he? I'm even getting butterflies, and the last time I had them ...goodness, I can't even remember." 

"Don't be daft ...you don't even know what he's thinking. Besides, you're single, and you're allowed to show interest if you fancy someone." The ice in Annalise's vodka and tonic clinked behind her. "This is the twenty-first century, and you're welcome to it. Flirt away and get butterflies. Let yourself go a little. I don't know if it applies here, but I'll say it anyway ...what goes on in the Highlands, stay in the Highlands." 

Aww, bless her.

Claire was grateful for her friend's presence in her life. If Annalise hadn't been there to constantly coax her out of her self-consciousness and to confide in to, she'd probably still be living a secluded life, and London would have eventually eaten her whole. Now here she was, openly flirting with a handsome stranger and she'd agreed to let him take her out.

Claire smiled. "How about you? What's happening with you and Willie?"

Annalise made an exaggerated sighing sound behind her, making her laugh. What a tart! 

"Hey, by the way, Jamie asked me out. So I guess, after this game and a round of drink, we're going to split. He wants to take me on a Christmas night tour. Will you be alright with Willie?" Claire asked. She had to make sure as this was their holiday together and she didn't want Annalise feeling abandoned.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. The boys seem like decent blokes, but as a precaution, I took photos of their driving licences and sent them to Geillis. She'll have them thoroughly checked out. Really handy to know someone whose boyfriend works with the police."

Claire's eyes widened, and she turned around to face her friend. "You didn't! I told Jamie I trust him." Geillis Duncan was their mutual friend they'd met in London at a party. After hitting it off, they'd forged a tight friendship, and the three of them became close until Geillis had to move back to her home city of Glasgow when she met the love of her life. Claire and Annalise were going to visit her before flying back to London.

"Of course, I did, silly. We're both on our own. Just because we're on our holidays and having fun doesn't mean we have to be lax when it comes to precaution. Don't worry, it'll be fine." Annalise reassuringly squeezed her arm. "Speaking of protection ...do you have condoms?"

What!?!  Sex was the furthest thing from her mind. But she didn't have time to reply as she saw at the corner of her eye, Hugh finally, leaned across the pool table and broke. As Claire stood up to take her turn, their audience cheered and whooped. 

Ignoring the hoots and whistles, she watched in concentration as the colourful balls rolled, not one of them dropping into a pocket. She began to walk around the pool table, taking in each position of the balls as she tapped her chin. Alrighty Beauchamp, let's have a look, shall we? This should be easy-peasy, lemon squeezy. We'll go for stripes. 

"Ye ken how to play, hen?" Hugh teased, extracting laughter from his friends. "If not, I promise to go easy with my shaft." Another round of loud laughter ensued.

Claire ignored the innuendo, and the sally going on and focused.

First, I'll down that nine-ball hanging over the pocket and use the rail to tap out the eleven, crammed against the twelve. That'll leave open the six, thirteen, and fifteen. Once I drop the fifteen, using a little side spin, that should bring me to the other end of the table. Then I'll sink the eleven and the fourteen into the same corner pocket, gently hitting the ten off the rail in the process, so I don't get stuck later having to bank shot it. Knock in the eight, then I'm clear to finish it off. Good God, Beauchamp, you're so good.

Satisfied with her strategy, Claire leaned over the green felt and positioned herself. Although Hugh's loud wisecrack didn't rattle her, the intensity of Jamie's stare was another matter. Taking a deep breath, she redirected her concentration on her game plan and took her first shot and then another, working clinically and accurately. Unfortunately, their encounter earlier kept creeping back into her consciousness and playing in loops in her head. It didn't help that his scent stuck on to her when he'd caught her after the fall. He smelled of forest and fresh laundry. None of that heavy musky expensive perfumes London yuppies liked to bathe in. It made her want to lean in, bury her face in the crook of his neck and take a deep breath.

Bent at the waist, Claire stretched over the edge of the table and focused on the fifteen-ball and tried not to wince at the memory of openly flirting with Jamie. In her defence, it wasn't every day she was rescued by a very manly bloke who stared at her like he didn't want to let her out of his sight. She wondered if she'd appeared too eager and was totally misunderstanding the look he was giving her. There had been a hint of wariness lurking behind those beautiful translucent blue eyes when she'd agreed to go out with him. Had she said something to cause him to throw up his guard?  

Having gone to a Catholic, all-girls, boarding school, her experience with the opposite sex was limited to the ones she read in romance novels. Orphaned at a young age, her guardian uncle Lamb didn't believe, dragging her across the globe with him was an ideal way to raise a girl, especially when he worked mostly with men in archaeological sites. So he'd decided the best place for her upbringing was with the nuns, right through college.

So when it finally came for her to start adulting and dating in a big, bad city like London, she'd been like a deer caught in the headlights. But she quickly found her feet with the help of her friend and flatmate, Annalise, a Parisienne by birth and a Londoner at heart. The French girl had been a mentor to her, initiating her to the trappings of singlehood and city life. Though the dating and getting-to-know-a-guy part was also an exciting discovery, she quickly realised every date she'd been to, after having gone through a handful of them, was a recycled version of the last. Same lines, same latest fashion, exaggerated backstories and trying too hard to impress instead of being themselves. So at the ripe age of twenty-five, she still had to experience what it was like to have a boyfriend. Annalise accused her of being too picky, but Claire always reasoned she just hadn't met the right one. She'd envisioned her first boyfriend to be someone endearingly awkward, not too loud and maybe a little shy. But Jamie was the least awkward man she'd ever met. He was easy on the eyes, and he lived inside his skin like a well-worn pair of jeans. He was far from a starter boyfriend she'd envision - definitely, not a boy anything.

"Go, Claire! You can do it!" Annalise shouted at the sidelines.

As she marked her shot on the eight-ball, she glanced up at Jamie and felt her focus wobble a bit. When one of the lads emitted a low whistle as she moved her hips to settle herself at a conducive angle, he didn't have a smidgen of amusement on his face. More than anything, he looked liked he was about to knock the front teeth off of the offender.

She didn't want a pub brawl to start in her honour, even if it sounded romantic in movies or books.

Straightening up from her position, she gave Jamie what she thought was a sexy smile. "Hey, Jamie," she called to him. "You got that single malt ready for me? This shouldn't take long." She tried not to blanch for sounding overconfident and cocky. It seemed cheeky for presuming she'd finished this game in a jiffy, but the pleasure of seeing his piercing blue eyes creased at the corners was definitely worth the minor discomfort her behaviour had caused her. Oh, Lordy! There were hushed oohs, followed by a round of testosterone-laced jests, making Jamie shake his head in amusement. At least, to her relief, he stopped looking like he's about to wallop anyone. Trouble averted in the knick of time!

As Jamie turned to get the attention of the bartender, she quickly lowered herself back over the table in the same position and sunk in the remaining balls. When she finished, her opponent, Hugh looked, well …not the least bit pleased about it. It probably didn't help she'd earlier acted cocksure about winning the game and might have dented his macho ego in front of his mates. 

Claire watched Hugh purposely marched towards her as their audience clapped, cheered and teased him for losing to a lassie.

"Ye got me at a disadvantage. I must admit I went easy on you since ye're new around here," he said loud enough for everyone near the pool table to hear. 

Claire gave him a charming smile, even though she felt like throttling him for not being man enough to congratulate her. "I know. Too bad, you assumed I couldn't play because I have a pair of boobs."

Hugh's eyes dropped down to her breast, and his cheek twitched, as he openly leered at her. "I must admit, ye have a lovely pair, and it might have distracted me from playing a good game, now that I come to think about it. Ye ken what ye need? Ye need a good ..."

"Stiff drink?" Jamie interrupted as he handed Claire a glass of single malt. "That's what ye were about to say, aye?"

Jamie's words were mildly pleasant, but she detected the underlying warning in his tone. Hugh didn't look like one to back-off, but when Jamie took a small step forward, he eyed the height and breadth before him and thought better of it. Splitting a forced smile between her and Jamie, Hugh raised both his hands as a sign of truce and slowly walked back to his mates.

With a sigh, she placed her cue stick on the pool table and faced Jamie. "This is fast becoming a habit of yours, isn't it?"

"What?" he asked, taking a step inside her personal space. It was another one of his moves to add to that growing habit list of his. Her old fashion side, the side influenced by her upbringing in the boarding school, wanted her to take a step back. But the side, that suspiciously sounded like Annalise, was shouting at her to hold her ground.

So she held her ground and arched an eyebrow at him. "You coming to my rescue. Again!"

When his mouth expanded into a smile, she couldn't help noticing his full, beautiful lips. With a cleanly shaven angular jaw, they made him looked like an angel who'd spent time in hell. Her breath caught in her throat, and she quickly looked back up, hoping he hadn't noticed her wandering eyes.

His amused expression told her he had. "Ye could say, rescuing ye is one past time that's beginning to grow on me." 

She laughed out loud. It was something she did whenever she was nervous or when shyness overtook, and the most annoying part of it, it was almost always accompanied by a snort. She quickly sobered up. Acting like a loon was definitely beginning to be her nervous signature move.

As if sensing her unease, Jamie quickly changed the subject. "By the way, that was some show ye put on. Ye'll be the topic of everyone's conversation for the next few days. And Hugh the butt of jokes."

"I didn't realise I was playing with a sore loser," she said, taking a sip of her whisky. When the heat slid down her throat, she tried not to flinch. Acting cool wasn't her forte, but she was determined to work on it. "If I'd known, I would have given up my slot."

"Dinnae fash. Hugh's all mouth and no trousers, but he's harmless. So where did ye learn to play like that?" His eyes scanned her face, and he cocked his head a little like he was committing each of her features to memory.

"My uncle taught me. We'd play for hours whenever we get time to spend together."

"Ye're close to yer uncle. That's nice. I hope I'd be that type of uncle one day."

She beamed. Jamie looked like the type of uncle who would have boundless of energy playing with children. "My uncle's for the most part, both a father and mother to me when I wasn't in the boarding school. My parents died when I was young."

His face turned serious. "Sorry to hear that. My parents have always been part of my life, so I can't begin to imagine what it was like for you growing up without them."

Claire gave him a grateful smile as she pulled a vibrating phone from her pocket. "Oh, bummer," she whispered, glancing down at the screen. "I have about fifteen missed text messages. I didn't feel it going off. I must have been caught up with all the excitement of the game." 

He ran a hand along his jaw. "Some lad missing ye back home?"

She hesitated, glancing up at him. "No." She shook her head, vigorously. "It's my friend, Geillis." She skimmed through the messages wondering why there were so many of them. Annalise had sent the photos of the brothers' driving licences to Geillis, and probably something had come up.

"Is everything alright?" he asked as she continued to read the messages.

"It's fine," she squeaked, looking for any incriminating data Geillis might have found. She found none. Instead, what she was reading was making her face heat up.

"Are ye sure? Ye have a troubling frown forming on yer face. Maybe I can help."

She sighed and rolled her head. "Annalise sent the photos of your driving licences to my friend Geillis. And a selfie she took with you and your brother earlier. You know ...to have you check out and see if you're legit. Geillis' boyfriend works with the police you see."

He arched an eyebrow. "And?"

Is he upset? "Don't look at me like that. I told you I trust you."

He laughed. "Like what? Ye're the one who's giving me an odd look. I told ye I was alright with it. So what did she say? Do I get her seal of approval?"

She winced. "Yeah, Geillis says it's all good."

He picked up his whisky from the nearby table. "Geillis sounds like a verra nice friend. I think I like her already. What else did she say?"

She felt the colour drain from her face. "I swear you wouldn't want to hear the rest of it. Geillis is raving mad."

"Try me."

"I think we should leave it ..."

"Come on, Sassenach. It cannae be that bad."

"I'd rather not."

"Go on, humour me." His blue eyes danced, and she marvelled for the umpteenth time at how handsome he was.

"Well, don't say I didn't warn you." She shut her eyes for a few heartbeats and puffed out a breath. "Well, she said if you're the same bloke who competed against her boyfriend at caber toss last spring and won ..." Oh dear, God. "...I ...um ...I should let you ground my corn."

He practically choked on his whisky.

She grimaced and wondered if she should thump him on the back. "I'm sorry. Geillis has an odd sense of humour. I'm afraid it's just her way of saying that her boyfriend thinks you're ace ...well, that's if you're really the bloke who he thinks you are."

He recovered quickly and grinned. "How about ye? What do ye think of me?"

She ignored the question. "You haven't confirmed anything to me yet," she said, speaking into her whisky glass. "Did you really win the caber toss competition?"

He looked smugly amused, and the smile that spread across his face already answered her question.

"So you're a tree surgeon who plays shinty and tosses poles in your spare time ...whatever next."

He nodded at her phone when it lit up again. "What else is your friend saying?"

She put her drink down and glanced at the screen. "'She said, the men who participated in this year's caber toss, including you, posed with nothing on but their kilt for a charity calendar."

He smiled. "Aye, that's right."

"And she asked me to ask you if you're wearing anything underneath the kilt because I'm getting the calendar as a stocking filler."

His booming laughter made a few heads turn their way.

"See I told you, she's raving mad." She took another sip from her glass and realised it was empty. Ah, fiddlesticks! "I thought her boyfriend would have mellowed her down a bit, but I have a feeling, she's worse than ever."

He eyed her glass and grinned. "I definitely have to meet this friend of yours."

She felt a twinge of ache in her heart, which took her by surprise. "Annalise and I are stopping at her place in Glasgow before we fly back to London on Three Kings. So you won't be seeing her."

He leaned in closer. "I ken we've only just met. Ye think ye're going to miss me when you go back?" His eyes twinkled mischievously.

Even though she was a right bumbling mess around him, she had to admit she was having too much fun in his company. So much so, she didn't really want to think about leaving yet. Her mind was already racing and wondering if Annalise would agree to celebrate Hogmanay here instead of in Edinburgh. "Well, that depends ..."

"Depends on what?"

Her curiosity to explore the dynamic between them made it difficult to keep her guard up. It was useless trying to fight whatever this was when she was so drawn to Jamie. Surely he must be feeling this too. She swallowed hard and decided to be brave. "If I'll have a reason to miss you," she blurted out before she could change her mind. 

A tiny fraction of the playfulness displayed on his face was replaced by uncertainty ...and Claire's stomach coiled at the proof he wasn't prepared to act on the attraction between them. Whatever his reason was, she wasn't sure if she wanted to know as her guard began to scramble back into place. Oh, God, how could I be so dim? Maybe he's got a girlfriend or a wife ...

"Arbroath Smokies."

Stunned, she looked at him. "Wot?"

"Have ye eaten?"

"Uh, um ...not since midday."

"Weel, hard to fall in love with ..." He took a huge deep breath. "...Broch Mordha on an empty stomach."

"Huh?"

That playful smile was back on his face. "Have ye tried Arbroath Smokies?"

"No. I don't even know what that is."

"Ye have to try it. I know just the place." Jamie glanced over his shoulder. "Come on, let's have a quick drink with Willie and Annalise so we can get out of here." 

And then just like that, he wove his fingers through hers and tugged her towards the bar.

[btxtreads]

💫 Shot in the Dark 💫

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE: ALL OVER AGAIN

↳ Pairing: Choi Beomgyu x Reader

↳ word count:  1.9k words

↳ rating: G

↳ genre: angst

↳ warnings: sadness (really, im so sorry for this)

↳ tags: @txtarcadianet​ - thank u for proofreading @qtsoobin​. she takes care of my illiterate ass bc im illiterate on tumblr for some reason❤️ 

The elevator door opened, revealing a furious woman with clenched fists. Behind her followed a tall blue-haired man with eyebrows furrowed in worry and a frantic CEO. The two men rushed to keep up with her as she stomped over to the reception, coming face-to-face with a tall brunette holding a bouquet of white roses.

“What are you doing here, Choi?” Y/N spat harshly, eyes sharp as she glared over at the man. At this, Beomgyu winced, his gaze dancing over Yeonjun and Soobin as they watched silently at the side.

“Uh, this is for you.” Beomgyu replied softly, offering the bouquet. “Can we talk?”

Y/N’s glanced at the flowers, , noticing the tremble in his hands. While her gaze softened, she made no move to take the gift, only crossing her arms and raising her eyebrows at the boy.

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Y/N, please?” Beomgyu pleaded, thrusting  the bouquet into her hands once more. “Just hear me out.”

“No,” Y/N shook her head. “You hear me out—you’re going to be a father. You have a pregnant girlfriend at home—”

“Y/N—”

“—and yet you’re here in my best friend’s company—in my workplace—with fucking roses like you don’t have a child coming soon. Have some mercy on the kid, Choi,” she scolded, “What the hell would they think when they find out their dad’s here offering flowers to a woman that’s not their mother?”

Beomgyu sighed as he massaged the back of his neck, closing his eyes; his mind was racing a mile a minute, trying to think of a way to get her to listen.

The thing about Y/N was that she was headstrong — quite easily being the most stubborn person he had ever met, and on any other day he’d find that attractive. Not right now, though. Not when he was trying to get her back. And certainly not when she was convinced he got his fake fiance pregnant.

What else could he say? What more could he do when the love of his life was completely convinced he got someone else pregnant? How could he cope with opening his eyes, just to see her back away from him, moving into Soobin’s arms?  He was powerless against Yeonjun who eyed him apprehensively, who was more than ready and willing to end this broken conversation and take his friends back to the safety of a Beomgyu-free office. All he could say was the only thing he knew.

“It’s not mine.”

“You have to realize that there comes a time when I stop running back to your arms, Beomgyu,” Y/N sighed, “I can only take so much.”

The woman turned, hands grasping at Yeonjun and Soobin as she murmured, “Let’s go.” 

“Wait,” Beomgyu called, stepping forward and taking her wrist. She shook him off, eyes wide as she turned back to him, and Beomgyu smiled sadly, ruffling his hair as he offered the bouquet again. “One of the reasons why I fell in love with you was because you were so stubborn—you always knew where you stood and you fought for that. I guess that’s not so good for me in these kinds of situations.” Beomgyu sighed in relief as Y/N’s hand slowly wrapped around the bouquet’s stem—eyeing him suspiciously. “Can we talk? Please? Just give me one last chance to explain everything.”

He didn’t want to get his hopes up, but he could see how her grip loosened on Soobin’s sleeve. She faced Yeonjun, talking to him through glances and he could hear Soobin’s grunts of frustration when she turned to him, shooting him a harmless glare before she looked to Beomgyu once more.

“Talk.” She finally said, pursing her lips.

Beomgyu smiled happily, raising the keys to his car. 

“Not here,” Beomgyu said, “I know a place. Follow me.”

Beomgyu was aware that her mind wasn’t with him while he drove. She kept wringing her hands together, her eyes trained on the passing scenes outside the window. He could see Yeonjun and Soobin’s photo on her lockscreen—replacing the photo that used to be of him and her before everything happened. Occasionally, she’d glance at her phone, mumbling softly to herself as she read her messages—like she always had. He knew who she was talking to—Soobin and Yeonjun, maybe even Taehyun and Kai. She was probably using that ice cream group chat he always saw popping up on Kai and Taehyun’s phones at work. He hears her wince, probably because of  a diss shot her way by Taehyun or Yeonjun, maybe even Soobin—he wouldn’t be surprised. He knew everything he lost, but he was determined to get it back as he rolled the car to a stop as soon as the pavement turned into sand.

 He immediately snapped his seatbelt off and dashed out of the car to open her door. Y/N, refusing his help, hopped out of the car herself and raised her eyebrows as she frowned at the scene.

 “What are we doing here?”

“What do you mean?” Beomgyu asked as he pocketed his hands. “Don’t you remember? This was our favorite date spot in college. First Date?”

“I do,” she hummed, linking her hands behind her as she started to walk. “Why are we here?”

Beomgyu didn’t answer, his eyes locked with the seawater softly lapping at the shore as he gathered his thoughts.

“Beomgyu?”

“I can’t lose you,” he finally spoke, glancing at her. “I-I can’t live without you. That’s something I’ve learnt over these five years without you.”

Y/N pursed her lips and looked down, digging her shoes into the sand as they walked.

“I love you,” Beomgyu said, stopping and taking her hands in his. “I want to marry you. I want to be the father of your kids, to grow old with you, live forever with you. You’re the only one for me.”

Y/N softened her gaze, sighing quietly  as she shook her head. She bit her lip, steadying her breath before she looked back at him.

“I wasn’t lying when I told you I couldn’t do this anymore,” she replied, almost whispering. “It hurts. It hurts too much, Beomgyu. I can’t take anymore that I already have.”

“I know,” Beomgyu mumbled, closing his eyes and placing a soft kiss on her hands, “I know what I did, and I’m sorry, but let me fix this. Let me make this right.”

“I—Bin and Jun—“

“Please—“

Y/N pried her hands away from his gently, tears springing up in her eyes as she moved to hold her arms. She turned her head away from him—looking anywhere but at him—as she spoke. “You’re going to be a father now.”

“It’s not mine,” Beomgyu shook his head, cupping her face and turning it to him once more. “I don’t know how to prove it to you—but I need you to believe me. Please.”

Gazing into her eyes, he knew that she did. She knew it wasn’t him. Of course, she knew all along. Maybe she had known from the start. After all, nobody knew him better than her—but he could also see the sadness deep in her eyes. He also knew she wouldn’t let him risk everything for her.

Her hands reached up, cupping his on her face as she smiled sadly.

“If I gave you another shot, would you give it all up for me?”

“Of course, I’d lay down my life for you,” Beomgyu replied without skipping a beat, making the girl close her eyes and release a shaky breath as she pulled his hands off of her face. She inhaled sharply, keeping her tears at bay as her clenched fists dropped to her sides.

“That’s why I can’t.” Tears slowly rolling down her cheeks as she continued, “If I said yes, you’d drop everything—but I know that in the back of your mind you’d always think about Eunbi and the kid—“

“I won’t.”

“You will, because I know you,” Y/N stressed. “I know you’ll feel guilty. I know you’ll feel bad, and you’ll have regrets at some point—because I know you, and I know you’re a good person.”

“But I love you—”

“I know,” she murmured, cupping his face, “and I love you, so much—so  much that I don’t want you to hurt yourself by living a life where you’ll just keep blaming yourself for everything. I don’t want you to have to live your whole life regretting this.”

Beomgyu was silent, eyes casted down as he sighed.

“I-I want a future with you.”

“We can’t have that.”

“Because of Eunbi?” Beomgyu asked, looking back up at her, seeing all the despair and sadness concealed in her soft, teary gaze. 

She only gave him a small smile, releasing  a deep breath before she looked over at the sunset, clearing her throat.

“Blue hour,” she hummed. “I remember how we always used to watch this.”

Beomgyu wasn’t in the mood for reminiscing but he turned to the horizon as well, taking her hand in his with a tight grip.

“Do you love me?” Beomgyu asked silently.

“I don’t think I’ll ever stop,” Y/N confessed, leaning her head on his shoulder.

Beomgyu bit his lip as he squeezed her hand.

“I’ll always think about this—losing you for the last time, I mean,” he mumbled. “My one regret.”

“It’ll be worth it.” Y/N replied. “You were always meant to lose me, I think.”

Beomgyu sighed softly, looking over at her as she closed her eyes, moving her body to embrace him. He could feel her rapid heartbeat against his own chest, making him hold her more tightly. He let his hands drape over her waist, burying his face in her hair as he closed his eyes and tried to memorize how she felt next to him. He felt Y/N’s head lean on his chest and her arms encircle his neck in a tight embrace—what felt like a last goodbye.

“When you’re old and you’re at home with your kid and Eunbi,” Y/N mumbled, “I hope you think of me. Think about how much I hurt myself over and over again because I love you.”

“I don’t think I can forget you.”

He felt her lips curve into a smile against him, her grip tightening around him. She pulled away to cup his face, murmuring, “This may hurt now, but I know that if I stay it’ll hurt the both of us even more.”  She ran her hands through his hair, continuing, “I can’t risk you getting hurt any more.”

“I don’t care about me getting hurt,” Beomgyu said, resting his forehead on hers and closing his eyes.

Y/N leaned forward and laid one final kiss on his lips. A final goodbye. Tears fell down both of their faces as their lips moved gently against each other. The waves of the sea crashed softly against the seashore—almost as if it was comforting the two lovers who never got a chance at a happy ending.

“Let me stay here with you for a moment,” Beomgyu whispered against her lips. “Let me believe it’s you and me—just for now.”

Y/N felt a sharp ache in her heart as she pulled away, breath stopping short as she locked gazes with him.

“Just for today.”

Beomgyu smiled lifelessly, eyes dull as he tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. She breathed deeply before leaning forward and kissing him once more—breaking both of their hearts all over again.

[lois-carroline]

     A/N: hey guys, this was requested in Wattpad 🥰🥰 I hope in Tumblr also someone will ask requests🙄🙄. *Sigh* alright I am gonna write another request.😚

_______________

ACCIDENTAL DATE

  I woke up on a pleasant morning. And went downstairs only to see Lily cooking. Yes, LILY.

I and Lily are on good terms now. Also, Hannah was found but with some injuries on her body and admitted to the hospital. She was discharged a week ago.

I came to Duskwood and staying at Lily's house. We all met Jake. Yeah, I never expected him to meet in that situation. When we first met I looked like trash.

Guess what? He is also staying in Lily's house with us. We never talked with each other, not even a single word.

I made my way to Lily. "Good morning, sleepyhead" she greeted. I rolled my eyes at the way she called me.

"Do you want any help?" I asked her in a good mood. "Wanna help?" She asked. "Yeah," I said.

"Umm.....there is nothing for you to help," she said looking around searching for some work.

"Oh," I said. "Oh yeah, we should go out today." She said suddenly. "Where?" I asked without knowing.

"We guys are going out to have fun," she said mentioned our legendry group. Of course, it's Jessy, Dan, Richy, Thomas, Hannah, Cleo, Lily and Me.

"Jake also coming," she said which made me look at her. "Go and get ready, we are leaving after our breakfast. And I will inform Jake about this," she told while cooking.

"Ok...." I said and went to my room to get ready.

_________________

After 15 mins, I went downstairs again. I saw Jake who is wearing his black hood. Well, he is cute in that.

He caught me staring at him! I felt my cheeks heat up, I turned my face to another side.

I am sure I must be looking crazy to him.

"Guys, let's go," Lily said. I and Jake only nodded.

__________________

We three arrived at Rainbow Cafè. After seeing them they all gave bone-crushing group hugs.

After that, we all sat in a place and started chatting. After some time Thomas got a phone call.

"Sorry, guys we should go now." He said mentioning himself and Hannah. "We have some urgent work," he excused himself.

We continued our chats. Now, Cleo got a phone call. After attending her call. "I am really sorry guys, I have already promised a person that I will make a cake for them so, I have to go." She said apolitically.

"Alright, no problem" I assured her which she returned with a smile. After 5 mins, Richy got a call. "Uhh.... a customer is waiting in Garage, I have to leave.....also Jessy," he said hesitantly.

They also left. Weird. How can everyone get work? They all planned to spend time with our group.

Again Lily got a phone call. "Guys....we have to leave...." she said mentioning Dan and herself. "Oh, then let's go," Dan said.

"I am sorry, you both enjoy the day. We are leaving," she said mentioning Me and Jake. "No, no, Lily. Lily" before I could Finish she dragged Dan out and left.

I looked at Jake, who is staring at me. "W-well.....how about let's go somewhere?" I asked him. He only nodded.

_________________

We are now walking on the road. "How are you?" He asked suddenly. "I-i am good," I shuttered.

"So....how about you?" I asked. "Good," he said. The place became silent again. "So?" He asked. "Hmm?" I hummed.

"Shall we go to a place?" He asked without looking at me. "Yeah, sure," I said with a little excitement.

After some time we stood in front of a Chinese Restaurant. "Let's go," now Jake said in excitement like a child which made me chuckle.

He grabbed my hand and went inside the Restaurant.

We took a table and Jake ordered Lo Mein and Wonton Soup he asked me what he wants, since I don't know anything about that so I made him order for me too.

after some time our dish arrived

"Jake?" I asked which made him look at me. "What?" He asked with a smile "I...I don't know to use chopstick.." I said hesitantly. "It is my first time to a Chinese Restaurant" I added.

He smiled "let me teach you," he said and started to teach me. "Like this?" I asked. "No, not like this," he said and held my hand and taught me.

After 5 mins

I finally Learnt how to use chopsticks. "Hehe, like this?" I asked grinning. He chuckled "yes," he said.

We started to eat. While eating two female staff came to us. "Hello, you guys are our 'best couple' of the day," the staff said with a smile.

What couple? "No, we are not...." Before I could finish they dragged us to a place which was full of photos of couples.

I looked at Jake and eyed 'whats going on?' and he eyed 'i don't know

I sighed "what is this?" I asked the two staff. "We are taking pictures of the best couples who come to our restaurant," she said with a grin.

"Well....why did you chose us as the best couple?" I questioned her. She smiled "we saw your boyfriend taught you how to use chopsticks, you guys were so cute at that time," she replied which made me blush.

"So, can you guys stand there for a photo?" The staff asked polaroid camera.

I hesitantly looked at Jake who is already looking at me. "Quick quick, stand there," the staff said.

We stood as they said. They took a photo of us and gave one photo to us and another she pinned on the photo gallery.

We left the restaurant. It's nearly 3 in the evening. We started to walk. "Is this considered as a Date?" I asked Jake without looking at him.

"Maybe? .....yeah," He nervously said. I slowly moved my hand and held his. He looked at me with a tint of red on his cheek. He is cute while blushing.

_________________

At Phil's Bar Aurora

"Guys, you are all amazing!" Lily said with excitement. "You all did a great job," she added.

"Finally, Hacker Boy and MC are talking," Dan said. "Of course, I am happy for them," Hannah said with a smile.

"I think they wouldn't have talked without our help," Jessy said with a Chuckle. "So, we did a great job," Richy said "we should celebrate this," Cleo added.

"Yes, let's drink," Thomas said and they all gave a toast. "MISSION COMPLETED" They all shouted.

___________________

[lightsupinthenorth]

Harringrove teachers AU part 3

Part 1 - Part 2 

Thank you to everyone who read, liked and/or reblogged the previous parts. Also, the people who said something nice in the tags or in reactions own my heart. Just thought you should know ;) <3 

Tag list: @twoprettyboys, @inkedplume​, @marianaosborne​, @liglitterbug​, @hmg621 @spreckle @goldenweatherharringrove @yikesharringrove @yogurtfordinner @wingedbears @charlotte-frey @hargrovesharrington​

If anyone wants to be added to or taken off the tag list for the future posts of this AU, let me know ;)

I hope the tags are working because I recently had some trouble with them (ah, Tumblr is a mess). 

I was planning on keeping the chapters short but every part has been longer than the last so far ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (then again, it’s still pretty short so I guess it’s fine ^^). 

I’ll stop rambling now.

*

Billy didn’t know how he had ended up in this situation, this situation being Steve and he making out in the otherwise empty teachers’ lounge, but he certainly wasn’t complaining. He wanted to keep Steve’s soft lips on his forever. Sadly, he didn’t get his way: there was a loud bang, and suddenly Steve’s lips were gone. Steve was gone too, as well as the teachers’ lounge. Billy woke up at home, in his bed, hard as a rock in the basket-ball shorts he was wearing as pajamas.

Great, he got an erection just from dreaming he and Steve were kissing. What was he? A teenager? That was pathetic.

Billy was considering rubbing one out, despite the embarrassment, but there was another loud bang that made him remember why he had woken up in the first place.

What the fuck was happening this early on a Saturday?

Billy instantly worried Max had fallen or, worse, that someone had broken into the flat and would hurt her (highly improbable in such a small town, but Billy wasn’t alert enough to be logical). The concern killed his arousal in two seconds tops. He shot up from bed and exited his bedroom in a hurry.

He found Max in their open kitchen, mixing what appeared to be pancakes ingredients.

“What was that noise?” He asked, in lieu of a greeting.  

“I dropped the pan. Sorry.”

“There were two noises.”

“I dropped the mixing bowl too. Let me live! It’s your fault, you stored both these things on the highest shelf” Max complained.

“Hey, no need for a defense, I’m not accusing you. I was just worried, shitbird.”

“Oh… well, I’m okay.”

“And you’re making pancakes, so I’m certainly not going to complain.” Billy added.

“Who told you I was making some for you?”

Billy pouted, even though he knew Max was bluffing. He could see the amount of batter in the mixing bowl. She had quite an appetite, but there was no way she’d be able to eat all of that on her own.

“So mean, so early in the morning.”

“What can I say, I love messing with you.”  

Paradoxically, Billy was happy that she did. When they had first met, he’d been a perpetually angry teenager, and teeny tiny Max had done everything she could to stay out of his way. Once Susan had announced she was ill, though, Billy had tried his hardest to be the brother Max deserved. After Susan’s death, Billy had looked after Max and kept her safe from his father until he had turned legal. He had then fought to get Max away from Neil and had obtained full custody of her.  

It had been hard to balance getting his degree, working part-time jobs, and taking care of Max. Even more so with Neil trying to steer trouble every now and again. But they had made it out alright, in the hand, and Billy didn’t regret a second of it.

“Sit your ass down.” Max said as she turned the stove on.

“Oh no, no way. You ‘sit your ass down’. I’ll take it from here.”

Max was good at finding the best recipes and at mixing ingredients, but the cooking process was another thing entirely: she had nearly burned the kitchen down almost every time she had tried using the oven or the stove. Her cooking privileges had been revoked after the fifth time.

“Ugh, fine.”

Billy had two plates full on pancakes in no time. He put one in front of Max and went to sit down with his own on the other side of the table. The second his ass touched his chair, Max asked:

“So, you have plans with Steve and Robin this afternoon?”

Billy frowned.

“First of all, it’s Mrs. Buckley and Mr. Harrington for you”, he started, just to get on her nerves (he didn’t give a fuck how she called her teachers), “and second, how do you know that?”

Max arched an eyebrow.

“You literally talked about it with Steve right in front of me yesterday”, she said, ignoring Billy’s reprimand (no surprise, there).

“Oh… right… I did.”

Truthfully, Billy had stopped paying attention to Max and El the second he had laid eyes on Steve and the dumb spot of blue paint that had been resting on his cheek as if it had any right to.

“So, what are you guys going to do?”

“Not that it’s any of your business, but we’re going to grade papers.”

“Well, that’s exciting.”

Her sarcasm was off the charts.

“Tell me about it”, Billy mumbled, around a mouthful of pancake.

“Ew, gross.”

Billy stuffed even more pancake into his mouth, in defiance, before he spoke again:

“So, Art club, uh? What’s up with that?”

They hadn’t had an opportunity to talk about it the day before, because Friday night was movie night, and they had eaten dinner in front of the tv. Plus, Billy would have been too distracted to hold a conversation (Steve hadn’t left his mind).

“Steve said I should come. He noticed I haven’t been speaking to a lot of people, and he said it might help to do an activity in a smaller group…” Max wasn’t looking at Billy as she explained.

“Anyway, I think he was right. He’s the best!” She beamed as she said it, finally looking up from her slowly but surely diminishing pile of pancakes.

“That’s good. I’m glad.”

Billy was glad, really. He was also a bit frustrated that Steve had managed to talk to Max about making friends, when Billy hadn’t known how to bring it up without offending her, but he wasn’t petty enough to show he had a problem with it. Even if Max calling Steve “the best” was treason of the highest order, Billy just wanted her to be happy. If Steve’s intervention helped more than Billy himself could, then so be it.

They finished breakfast, got ready for the day and then went grocery shopping. As they got back to the flat, Max went to her room to chill, and Billy read for a while before he started preparing lunch. Keeping busy distracted him from thinking about seeing Steve in the afternoon. Well, he didn’t think about it too much, at least.

-

When Billy made his way into the coffee shop, Steve and Robin were already seated, talking animatedly… in another language.

“Hi. Was that Italian?”

They must not have noticed him approaching, because as soon as he greeted them, they stopped talking, and Steve looked up at him like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Hey Billy”, Robin said, “as a matter of fact, it was.”

“Don’t you teach French and Spanish?”

Billy was perplexed.

“I do. Doesn’t mean I don’t speak Italian.”

“It figures”, Billy shrugged.

He wanted to ask Steve where he had learnt Italian, because it intrigued him. However, he chose not to. He didn’t want to talk to him unless it was necessary. It’d be better for everyone if they had the bare minimum of interactions together, surely.

“Are these new piercings?” Robin asked, gesturing toward his ears.

“Uh, no. I’ve had them for a long time. I just don’t wear them at school.”

“Well, you should. They look really cool, and I’m sure no one would have anything to say about it.”

Billy stared at Steve pointedly, but Steve looked away as soon as he caught his gaze.

“I’ll think about it.” Billy finally said.

Steve and Robin already had their orders, so Billy took his wallet from his bag and went to the counter. He glanced at the display case and eyed the cherry pie with envy, but decided against it. After this morning’s pancakes, it wouldn’t be reasonable. Plus, he hadn’t hit the gym in a few days. He had to start indulging less if he wanted to stay in shape. He went for a simple black coffee. As the burly man behind the counter, whom Billy guessed to be Benny, asked him if he wanted anything else, Billy nearly surrendered, but he powered through. He handed Benny a ten-dollar bill and put the change he was given in one of his pockets.

When Billy went back to their table with his cup of coffee, Steve was blowing on his cup of steaming hot tea. Billy’s eyes caught on the ‘o’ shape of Steve’s lips, which reminded him of his dream. He averted his eyes, praying to God he wasn’t blushing, now that he couldn’t hide it behind his tan anymore (screw Hawkins, Indiana).

As Billy sat down, he noticed Steve had a piece of the pie he’d been eyeing. Not fair. He nearly started pouting but caught himself. After all, his pie-less state was his own fault. Why did he have to be reasonable?

Billy took his pen and the essays he had to grade out of his backpack to give himself something to focus on. But then Steve started eating. And he moaned. Quite obscenely.

“Mh, this is so good. Benny is a magician. You guys want a bite?”

Billy really wanted to say yes, not only because he wanted pie, but because Steve was the one offering. It would have been weird, though? Right?

“No thanks” he ended up saying. What a hard thing to say.

Robin had no such qualms. She needn’t have, since she and Steve were actually friends. Not only did she get to experience Steve warmth and kindness, she also got a bite of his pie. Did she even know how lucky she was?

Billy got into his grading. And he was already past the no-pouting stage of the afternoon. It sucked to be him, sometimes.

“You should probably wait for Steve to finish eating… and drinking too, to be honest, before you put your students’ paper on the table. That man is a disaster.”

Billy had to admit Robin was right. He ate lunch with Steve on a regular basis, and had therefore seen him spill a bunch of things on himself. Thankfully, nothing he had ever spilled had reached Billy, so they were probably safe.

“Oh come on! We’re on opposite ends of the table.” Steve objected.

“I know, but I’m sure you’d find a way.”

Steve scoffed but didn’t try to argue his case any further. He looked adorably ruffled when Robin laughed at his expanse.

They didn’t say anything more for a while, as they were finally doing what they had come here to do. At some point, though, Robin brought up a point one of her students had made about the French translation of “Newspeak” in George Orwell’s 1984, which led her and Billy to launch a discussion about the novel.

Steve offered no input whatsoever, but he had stopped grading and had been staring at them for five minutes straight.

It was making Billy’s skin itch.

At some point, he couldn’t take it anymore and asked:

“What’s your opinion Steve?”

“Uh… I… I don’t really have one.” He stammered, caught off guard.

“How come?”

“I, uh, I haven’t actually read the book.”

“Oh. Well, you should. It’s an amazing book.”

Steve fidgeted with his red pen, repeatedly taking the cap off and then putting it back on.

“Uh… I don’t know about that. It’s not really my thing.”

“How can you know it’s not your thing if you haven’t read it?” Billy asked, a tad defensively.

“I didn’t mean the book… I meant, reading.”

Steve bit his lower lip.

“Why not? Is that beneath a math buff such as yourself, or something?” Billy’s tone had become hostile.

And, by pulling accusations out of his ass like that, he had gone from defensive to straight up aggressive.

“No. ‘course not… It’s just… reading is hard for me… I’m, uh… I’m dyslexic, so…” Steve trailed off, looking down at the pen he was seemingly holding in a vice grip.

Billy was speechless with shame and regret, as Steve offered a wobbly smile and said: “I’m gonna… go get some more tea”, before leaving the table.

Billy stared at his retreating form before he turned to Robin and found her glaring at him. If he could have felt worse than he already did, he would have.

“So… should I go apologize right now or should I leave him alone and apologize later?”

Teenage Billy would have probably not apologized at all, but present-time Billy knew better. He felt like the biggest jerk.

“I’d say, go for it.”

Billy followed Robin’s advice and, with knots in his stomach, he went to Steve, who was waiting for his tea behind the counter.

“Steve, man… I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay…” Steve said, but his eyes didn’t leave his own shoes.

That wouldn’t do. Billy had made Steve feel shitty, and he would make it better if it were the last thing he did.

“No, it’s not. I shouldn’t have pushed.”

Billy had let his frustration with Steve get the better of him, and that was unacceptable. Steve was not particularly nice to him, so what? It wasn’t a reason to be outright mean to the guy.

“Really, it’s no big deal… It’s not like it’s a secret… my dyslexia, I mean.”

“Yeah, but you obviously didn’t want to share this piece of info with me, and I should have dropped it.”

“I just… I was afraid you’d find me stupid… But you probably thought I was stupid already, anyway… what with me never having anything interesting to say when Robin and you talk about literature.”

“Hey, I don’t…”

Benny placed Steve’s cup of tea on the counter, cutting Billy mid-sentence.

“It’s on me”, Billy said, fishing his five-dollar bill of change out of his jean’s back pocket and handing it to Benny.

“You didn’t have to.”

Was Steve blushing or was it a trick of the light?

“I want to make it up to you.”

“There’s nothing to make up for, but thanks.”

Steve grabbed his cup of tea and was going to go back to their table, but Billy held him back.

“Wait… I want you to know I don’t find you stupid, okay? I know I’m kind of a jackass, but not enough of one to actually think dyslexic people are stupid.”

“Good to know”, Steve replied.

“So, are we good?”

“I told you, we are.” Steve assured, smiling brighter than he had ever smiled at Billy before.

The knots in Billy’s stomach loosened, and his heart filled with warmth. So that was how it felt, when Steve’s sunshine fell upon you? Billy couldn’t wait to experience that feeling again.

“We should get back to Robin.”

“We should” Billy echoed, before following Steve, awestruck.

[cilldaracailin]

We Are The Champions

Hello my Tumblr Lovely’s,

Happy Friday and Weekend! I finally got my text today to tell me I could go for my first vaccine next week (Even though those younger than me have been able to get theirs since Monday and I have actually been physically in work since June when we re-opened) but anyway. That was great news.

Maybe some not so great news is that this is the last part to this story. I am working on the next one but who knows when it will appear so please enjoy this last cute little piece of fluff! Thank you so much for all the read, love and comments on it. I don’t expect them and appreciate them all. I just love writing about these two and am so glad to share their story for those who wish to read it.

Suze xx

14

“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”

Robyn wasn’t too sure if Taron was fully unwound as she finally let him go but he gave her a beautiful smile which she returned. She reached up to lightly pinch his cheek, another smile filling his face. “I understand how much you want to control it Taron. You know how much I hate it when I am not in control but please, please trust in your team and that ninety-nine point nine nine nine nine percent of your fans are wonderful lovely people who just want to support you.”

It was so easy to smile when she was teasing and playful with him. “Thank you Robyn.” He sighed. “Always so good with your words.”

Robyn grinned. “Might have a knack for it. Now I know you probably don’t feel like eating, just like me, but let’s make an effort to put something on our plates.”

With a nod of agreement, they turned back to the counter, Taron handing Robyn her plate. They chose a few items from Eve’s selection, more so for show than anything else and as they walked back to the table, Taron couldn’t look his mother or step-father in the eye. He always had an unusual intimacy and affection with Robyn but normally in private and for such an open show of affection for such a long time in front of his family, he felt a little embarrassed, although he knew his mother would be thrilled and more than likely tease him about it later. He slunk into his seat, placing his mostly empty plate in front of him, Robyn slipping into the chair beside him, her plate filled even less.

“Something wrong with my cooking?” Eve asked with amusement.

“No not at all. Just lost my appetite.” Taron answering picking up his glass of water to have a drink.

“Well maybe if you and Robyn weren’t secretly kissing you would feel hungry.” Mari said casually, eating a piece of her cheesecake. “Mouths are for food, not kissing.”

There was the slightest hesitation from all at the table than Robyn’s deep laughter broke through the silence, the others quickly following including Taron’s though he was absolutely mortified at his what his sister said.

“Really not a fan of kissing, are you Mari.” Smiled Robyn to Taron’s youngest sibling.

“Just yuck!”

“Well Mari when you are older, I will come and ask you if you still think it is yuck.” Robyn leaned into Taron and lifted her left hand to cup the right side of his face, guiding him closer to her and gently kissed his cheek, seeing his whole face light up with a sweet smile. “A kiss is a beautiful and loving moment shared between two people.” She explained to the eight-year-old as she moved away from Taron and back into her seat.

Mari stuck her tongue out at Robyn, the Irish woman trying not to laugh at the come back from the child while Tina scolded her daughter. “Mari!” She said shocked at the gesture she gave to Robyn. “That wasn’t very nice.”

Robyn chuckled. “It’s ok Tina. I am sure it is a way of thinking that Guy wants her to follow through with for most of her teenage life, her affliction to kissing.” Robyn looked to Guy who was nodding his head.

“Mari, Mam kisses us all the time.” Taron told her.

“But Taron she is our mam. That is ok.”

“She kisses dad too.”

“They are married.” Mari answered firmly.

Robyn looked at Taron with a grin. “Right that’s it. Guess we know what we have to do!” She winked at Taron, praying he quickly caught on to what she wanted to do, seeing another cute little smile fill his face.

Out of their seats they walked around to the young girl and standing either side of her, they each kissed her cheek, Mari giggling as Taron placed lots of sloppy kisses over her face.

“Stop it Taron!”

Robyn chuckled, so glad to see a genuine smile on his face and moved to stand behind Rosie, leaning in to give her a little kiss too, Taron’s other sister smiling. “I am wearing my bracelet, see!” Rosie held her arm up to Robyn, the green bracelet with the shamrock on it tied neatly around her wrist. “Just like you.” Rosie reached to touch the silver bracelet on Robyn’s arm. “So pretty. Mine doesn’t sparkle like yours though.”

Robyn crouched down a little to be able to look at Rosie in her eyes. “Not everything needs a sparkle. Yours is a good luck charm and a little piece of Ireland for you to have with you at all times.”

“I am never going to take it off. Just like you.”

Robyn grinned. “I take it off sometimes. Like at the beach. I don’t want to lose it. It is very special to me.”

“’Cos Taron gave it to you?”

“Yes and because of what all of the little symbols mean.” Robyn unclasped the bracelet and let Rosie hold it. “It’s extra special because each stone and the heart and dolphin mean something to me and Taron.”

“You weren’t really kissing him, were you?” Rosie asked handing the bracelet back.

Robyn shook her head. “Not even one. Taron was a little bit sad and needed an extra squishy hug.”

“It looked like a brilliant one.”

“It was.”

“What are you two whispering about?” Asked Taron and he came to stand behind Rosie’s chair.

“Nothing.” Robyn answered him, giving Rosie a wink.

“Hmm….” Taron mused as he bent down to give her head a kiss.

Once seated again, Taron found he didn’t feel as nervous and congested with the worry of the media. It was only because he loved Robyn so much, he felt such a need to protect her but knew in his heart he was going to have to let go a little to the fear he held. As she told him, he needed to trust in his team and also his fans and as usual she was right. Only a few were bad eggs and it wasn’t fair for him to tarnish the good ones by what shitty things a few did.

“Taron?”

He looked up, locking eye contact with his mam and he could read the concern on her face for him. Reaching over the table, he took her hand. “So these stories, how many of them involved me when I was naked as a baby?”

The atmosphere lightened after that, easy conversation flowing around the table, though not much food was eaten by Robyn or Taron but the family enjoyed each other’s company, talking about their weekend, Mari’s birthday as well as Robyn’s job, the girls very interested in how she worked with little children.

“Robyn you never got to show me how to play the whistle you got me.” Mari said as Eve poured some tea out for everyone except her nieces and Robyn. “We don’t have the time now. You and Taron go tomorrow.”

“Oh Mari, I will be back I am sure and we can do it together.”

“That could be ages away.”

“Well it gives you lots of time to practise and then when I do come again, you can show me what you have learnt.” Robyn glanced to Tina. “But maybe don’t practise too hard or if you want too, do it outside.”

Happy with her answer, Mari sat back in her chair but as Robyn’s eyes looked to her sister, Rosie’s previous smile had faded. Robyn gently nudged Taron with her knee.

“What’s up Rosie?” He asked her gently.

“You are going tomorrow. I will miss you.”

Taron knew his short visits were hard on his family and although his sisters were old enough now to understand why he had to go, what he worked at, but he didn’t make it any easier to leave his favourite people in the world. He gave her a little nod and she hopped off her chair and walked around the table, climbing up onto Taron’s lap, cuddling into him.

“I will miss you too fy anwyly.” Taron wrapped Roise up tightly against him.

“We didn’t get to spend any time together. Not even a movie night.”

Taron had no words for her, but just hugged her, smoothing her hair down.

Seeing her sister getting a cuddle, Mari got off her chair and came to stand beside Robyn, who immediately opened her arms to her, the little girl crawling into her, taking up a very similar position, hugging Robyn.

“Wish you could stay too.”

“I think that is something we all wish hunni.” Robyn said, moving her hand from Mari’s side, to place it on Taron’s left shoulder very lightly, giving it the smallest rub, her hands going back around Mari once she had given Taron what she hoped was a little bit of comfort.

Taron couldn’t lift his head, his emotions all over the place but this time from sadness. Although the weekend hadn’t been exactly perfect, it had still been amazing to have been home and though a lot of things went wrong, so much more had been brilliant.

“Eve do you have a jar, maybe some paper and pens?”

Taron turned his head to look to Robyn, hearing her strange request, his aunt getting up from her chair to get what she had asked for.

“What are you up too?” Taron asked her.

“Just a little something to lift the mood a bit.”

Eve quickly returned with an empty glass mason jar, some coloured post its and some pens, leaving them on the table in front of Robyn.

“Thank you.” She shuffled Mari around a little, freeing her hands up but still keeping the little girl close to her. “So I have done this before with my family and I think it will be a perfect way to end what has been a wonderful weekend.” Robyn picked up the post its and split them, sliding them across the table to everyone seated, rolling a pen their way too. She then moved the glass to the middle of the table. “What you need to do is, write down two or three things you would like to do when Taron comes back to visit as a family. They can be anything you want. As big as a trip to London or just baking some cake. Then we fold the post its in half and put them in the glass jar and then when Taron comes home, you already have your plan made, your list of things you want to do together and all you have to do is pull one out. Now when you write down your ideas, it’s better if they are things he can do. I mean he can’t go to space and eating twelve pizzas’, not such a great idea but things you would like to do with him.”

“And you.” Mari said turning her head a little. “We like doing things with you too.”

Robyn wrapped her left arm around Mari a little tighter. “This is for your family and Taron. We all know he will be back home to Aberystwyth before I get to come back.”

“We need a Robyn jar then too.” Said Rosie firmly, her family laughing a little at her words.

“That jar would just be full of Disney princess ideas Rosie.” Taron said to her.

“I would be ok with that.” Robyn grinned. “But this is Taron’s jar, the Egerton jar.” Robyn picked up her own pen and handed one to Mari too. “Shouldn’t take us too long.”

“I have seen something like this before.” Tina had started to write on her post it but stopped, looking over to Robyn. “Where you write down one good thing that happened to you every day and pop that in a jar and then at the end of the year, you look through all the papers.”

“I have heard about that one but never done it. Claire and I do something like this on New Year’s Eve every year. Normally after one too many and when we read the papers after we just laugh at the suggestions. Most we can never use.” She snuck a glance to Taron, a wide grin on her face. “Might have had one or two about you in there at one point.”

“What?” Taron stopped writing mid-sentence.

“And if I can remember correctly, Richard might have been involved too.”

Taron’s whole face smirked. “Oh really?” He asked putting his pen down. “Care to share?”

“Like I said, one too many had been had. Can’t remember exactly.” She folded up the post it she had finished writing and stretched over to put it in the jar, a few others already in it from his family.

“What would it take for you to remember?” Taron asked turning his body a little towards her.

“Nothing you could ever give me.” Robyn replied, working on her next post it.

“Oh really?”

“Really.”

“Trip to Hawaii to see wild dolphins?”

Robyn shook her head.

“Cruise about the Caribbean?” He bit his lip as Robyn shook her head once more. “A full week of going to see musicals on Broadway in New York with a backstage tour and chance to sing on one of the stages?” He saw the faintest lift of her lips. “Done and at Christmas too. Snow and everything.”

“You just concentrate on writing your post its.” Robyn turned away from him, letting her head rest so very lightly on Mari’s left shoulder. “Your brother doesn’t play fair.”

Mari nodded in agreement and then concentrated on writing on her idea, her sister doing the same. The jar quickly filled up with colourful half pieces of paper and once everyone was done, Robyn screwed the lid of the jar back on and pushed it over to Tina.

“You can look after this until your son is home. Then pick one.”

“You wrote some too.” Tina said as she slid the jar her way.

“I did and they were suggestions for family togetherness and if I happen to be around, I can join in too.”

“This is such a lovely idea Robyn. Thank you.”

“You are so very welcome.” The Irish woman did her best to hid her yawn behind Mari’s head, but Tina spotted the way her shoulders lifted.

“And you two must be ready for bed, both working hard and had an overly exciting day and you two…” She looked to her daughters. “Definitely time for bed. You both have school tomorrow.”

The complaining from Rosie and Mari was natural and to be expected but just after ten-thirty, it was time for everyone to make a move out of the café, the evening ending with many hugs and kisses. Robyn made sure she said goodbye to Tina and Guy, giving them a long winded thank you and hug, the same to Mari and Rosie. She could see Taron hovering, hating having to say goodbye and see you soon to his family.

“Here give me your car keys.” She held her hand out to him. “I will wait in the car for you.”

Taron hesitated but reached into his pocket and pulled out his keys. “I will be right down.”

“Take your time. I will lock myself in the car.”

“Robyn I will walk you out.” Eve walked to Taron to give him a long hug. “You take care of yourself.”

Following Even down the stairs, Robyn took her time, feeling a little stiff after sitting for so long, her left leg aching a little but once at the bottom, caught up with Eve, the older woman directing her back through the store room, stopping at the door.

“It was so lovely to finally meet you.” Eve said turning to face her. “Taron does nothing but gush about you.”

“I can’t imagine Taron gushing.” Robyn answered with a light laugh.

“Oh, believe me, he can and does, a lot. You have been a very important friend to him and he loves you dearly.” Eve returned the gentle laughter. “Just like you love him.” She added quickly. “Please take care of yourself and you are always welcome back here. You know where the back entrance is.”

“Thank you Eve. I had a lovely evening.”

��Maybe not that way I had intended for it to go but it is always nice to get the family together.”

“Taron and I don’t have a great track record for having a so-called perfect meet up.” Robyn shrugged a little. “We are getting used to the little bits of drama that follow us.”

Even stepped closer to Robyn to give her a gentle hug. “You will get there. Just hold out a little longer. Slightly biased, but he is worth it.”

Eve walked Robyn back to Taron’s car making sure she locked the doors, Robyn glad to see no more fans were lingering around, though supposed they could be at the front of the café, rather than hiding at the back door but with Taron parked out of the busy streets, it was unlikely that any one who didn’t live in Aberystwyth would be passing by. She slipped the key into the ignition and turned on the radio, settling back into her seat. She was happy to leave Taron some time alone with his family, give them the space they needed. It was something she felt she didn’t need to be a part of, so happy to give him some privacy and pulled out her phone from her bag. She typed out a quick text message to her mam and Claire, ignoring the sass she received back from her friend. Always on her case, Robyn’s best friend had more smart remarks then Deian but she always had a reply for her friend, or sometimes, none at all, smiling at the many messages that came her way as she ignored her. After a while, she heard a light tapping on the window and saw Taron standing outside the driver’s side. She unlocked the doors, taking the dish from his hands so he could get into the car.

“Eve wouldn’t let me leave without taking some leftover lasagne. She told me to freeze it if we weren’t going to eat it this evening.” Taron explained as he closed the door and pulled his seatbelt on. “No one else out and about?” He asked, glancing briefly out the windscreen, the last of the daylight not really giving him much to see with.

“Nope. All quiet on the outside.” Robyn reached over to take his left hand, giving it a light squeeze, feeling one in return. “So home?”

“My bed is definitely calling.” Taron held in his yawn, but still covered his mouth as it came through anyway, his whole body lifting with the oncoming tiredness. It was always horrid saying goodbye to his family and never got any easier even after all the years of doing so. Hugs were tight and hard and when his mam teared up, it was so hard to not get emotional. He was so grateful for Robyn and her thoughtfulness, how she didn’t mind giving him the time he needed to get one last chat in with his mam and step-dad, getting the usual take care of yourself and don’t forget to call speech. It was a little harder to pry his sisters from his legs but with reminder about the jar, they finally let him go with one tight hug. Eve demanded that he brought home some of the leftovers, forcing the dish into his hands before he walked out the door. As he left the café heading back to the car, it was now close to half ten and sighed at the thought now of having to go home to pack. He was slightly dreading his early flight but it took away the lingering around during the day, the need to get to the airport getting him up and going and giving him the reason he needed to get out of bed. He always hated getting Lyndsey to organise the early flight for him when he needed it but once he was back in Belfast, he would be able to get some rest before he was back to work.

The only thing he had to face now was saying goodbye to Robyn. It was a little harder this time when they had yet to make a plan to meet up again. Knowing when he was going to see her made the gap between visits easier but with nothing set in stone, he only had a few hours left with Robyn, most of which they both would be spending asleep, though he was definitely looking forward to her rubbing the after sun into his shoulders again. The heat was becoming very uncomfortable and his skin was stinging with every little movement. Another yawn which had him stretching his arms over his head, definitely had him crying out for something to soothe his shoulders. “Jesus sorry Robyn. Just catching up on me I guess.”

“Don’t worry. It’s been a long day.”

“Long but good.”

“I had a nice evening.” Robyn agreed,

“Me too. Thank you for the idea with the mason jar. Such a thoughtful thing. The girls loved it.”

“It’s a simple way to keep people smiling, excited for things to come.”

Taron nodded as he carefully pulled out of the parking space, his headlights on. “I am interested to know what you wrote.”

“Tonight, or all those New Year Eve’s ago with Claire.”

Taron’s chuckle was deep. “I won’t lie. I am very interested in that one.”

“Like I said. We both had way too much to drink. Can’t remember.”

“A likely story.”

Robyn shrugged. “And I am sticking to it but I did have a lovely evening and a fantastic weekend.”

“Fantastic?” Taron questioned taking the turn to head down the road to his home. “Really?”

“You know I had great time.”

Taron carefully pulled into the space outside his home. “You always do.”

“I got to dress as Elsa, watched the sun set, watched a movie on the couch, spent the day at the beach and fixed Olaf. Couldn’t have asked for more.” She unbuckled her seatbelt.

“Maybe a few less bruises?” Taron suggested as he took the dish from her and opening the car door.

“Sometimes they can’t be helped.” Robyn closed the passenger door and waited for Taron to join her.

They walked to his front door and once had opened it, he turned on some lights, letting Robyn pass him. He brought the dish of lasagne into the kitchen and set it on the counter, rolling his shoulders and his neck again.

“I can put more after sun on those for you.” Robyn came to stand beside him. “Last time before I head home.”

“Please but I am just going to put this into some freezer bags first.”

“Sure. I am going to change. Meet you in the bedroom?”

“Yep. Will you turn on the fan please?” His home was horribly warm and stuffy inside even though they hadn’t been gone too long and he was glad to know he had something to keep his room cool once again during the night. It definitely made sleeping much more comfortable.

Robyn nodded. “Of course.”

Taron divided out the dinner Eve had pushed him to take and once tied up in some freezer bags, he put them in his empty freezer. He only took it because his aunt had insisted, telling him it would be an easy dinner for him to have when he came home next time. He filled the dish with hot soapy water and left it in the sink for the next day to wash, not being too worried about doing it at that moment. He pulled his t-shirt off as he walked into the bedroom, not even bothering to knock. Throwing the material in the direction of his wardrobe his head turned as he heard the toilet flush. He headed straight for the bathroom and lightly rapped on the door.

“You decent?” He called in through the wooden door, grinning as it was flung open, Robyn dressed in her pyjama’s already, a toothbrush in her mouth. “Perfect. I can do that too.” He slipped in past her, going to the sink and taking out his toothbrush from the holder. Once he put some toothpaste on the bristles, he stood in front of the sink and started to brush his teeth, Robyn soon coming to stand beside him, a half grin on her face. Standing right beside him as their bare arms and shoulders touched, Robyn could feel the heat from his skin.

“I know you are thinking it, so just say it.” Taron said through a mouthful of toothpaste. He bent down so he could spit out the minty foam from his mouth and stood back up waiting for her to answer before he went to brush his teeth again.

“So warm.” Robyn answered him before working on brushing the left side of her teeth, watching Taron’s reflection and the smirk grow.

“Sun burn.” Taron answered, once again through his toothbrush. “I fave my ban.”

“You fave your ban?” Robyn laughed. Taron turned to her and with the toothbrush still in his mouth, stuck his tongue out at her. “So now I know where Mari got that from!” She continued to brush her teeth, smiling as Taron nudged her a little too hard, knocking her off balance but she came back to her feet. “Injured leg here.”

“Shit sorry!” Taron placed his hand on the small of her back, concerned he had hurt her but saw a tiny glint in her eye. “Robyn…”

“I am ok. Just a twinge. Brush your teeth. You still have to pack.”

A long groan came from Taron that quickly turned to laughter as Robyn stood on her toes to place toothpaste kisses all over his left cheek. “And you think I am a terrible influence!” He chuckled as he wiped his cheek, watching as Robyn cupped some water in her hands to wash her face and rinse her mouth out.

She placed her toothbrush on the edge of the sink “I can help you pack.” She said to him, pulling the towel from the rail to dry her hands. “We can do that first and then your after sun. I am sure you don’t have much to put in your case.”

“You will get the throw from the bed for me now please? Put it with my case? I don’t want to leave it behind again.”

“Sure.”

“I will be right out. Just going to change too.”

Robyn left the bathroom, Taron following her, still brushing his teeth, grabbed his shorts from the bed and headed back, closing the door behind him. Doing as he had asked, she picked up the fleece throw she had given him as a present back in November for his birthday and carried it over to his small case which was thrown open and a complete mess. Placing the throw on the ground, she then carefully knelt in front of his case and pulled the clothes out. All were clean and Robyn carefully folded each garment neatly, placing it back into his case, rolling matching socks together and laying his boxers together before putting them on top.

Taron had opened the bathroom door and was taken back at how Robyn was packing his case for him, making sure all of his clothes were tidy, blushing lightly when she placed his boxer shorts on top. He had never expected her to actually do it for him and headed her way. “Really no need chicken. That is just going to be pulled apart once I am back in Belfast.” Taron threw his clothes from the day into his laundry hamper, picking up the t-shirt he had thrown on the floor to put in the wicker basket too. “And I can really do it myself.” He came to crouch beside her.

“Mostly done.”

“I would say pretty much done. Just have to throw in my toiletries in the morning.” Taron got to his feet and walked to his wardrobe, opening one of the drawers to take out two hoodies. “Just going to bring some more jumpers with me. I really wasn’t expecting the weather.”

“Maybe take a rain jacket too.”

Taron smiled. “Good idea.” He turned back to his wardrobe and opened the doors, taking a grey rain coat from a hanger. “Just in case.” Back at the case Taron dropped the three onto of the neatly folded clothes.

“Really Taron.” Robyn frowned at him and she lifted the new items in his case. “Fold them. You will fit more in.” She carefully folded each piece of clothing and laid them neatly in his case.

“I normally don’t have time for folding. It’s a quick get up and go before moving on.”

“Even your suits? Your clothes for events.”

Taron shook his head. “Someone takes care of them for me or if I have to bring one, I am a bit more careful. This looks ready to go though.”

“And you have all of your flight information, passport, carry-on bag ready to go too?”

It took Taron twenty minutes to find all of his flight details, having to print them off again in the end as he couldn’t remember where he had put them, but thankfully his passport was still in his shoulder bag. He threw in a few extra items for the long drive to Cardiff and then the short flight, making sure his hat and sunglass were ready to go on the kitchen counter too. As he had prepped his bag, Robyn folded his fleece as best she could, squishing it into the remaining small space left in his case. She didn’t want him to forget it so made sure it was safely packed for him. When Robyn stood up, Taron was back in the bedroom and laying down on the bed on his back, the fan turned towards him so it was blowing cool air over his skin.

“You need another cold air lecture?” Robyn walked over to the fan and turned it so the air wasn’t wafting directly on his body.

“It’s stuffy in here.”

“And letting the air flow through the room rather than on you will help cool the room down.” She crawled up onto the bed, along by his feet and then up to her side, settling against the pillows, her right hand naturally going to his hair, grinning as Taron stretched his upper body to meet her hand.

“I really did have a lovely weekend, no matter how you think different.”

Taron opened his eyes and glanced back to her. “I suppose a normal weekend would be boring to us.”

“Absolutely.”

“You sure you didn’t mind me posting the photo?” He asked as he closed his eyes as Robyn gently massaged the crown of his head.

“Not at all. I told you at the table that it was fine.” Robyn changed her position so she could sit around his head a bit more, now having two free hands. She switched her hands around so her left hand very lightly scratched his head, her right running over the scar on his forehead. “And your parents were fine with it too.”

“You looked at the comments?”

“Nope.” Robyn said quickly smoothing his crinkled frown away. “And you know I won’t either and my account is private.”

“Yeah but I follow you. People are going to put two and two together quickly.”

“And we agreed earlier before dinner that this was something you were not going to worry about. You have been following me since we met Taron.”

“Yeah I know.” He took a very long and deep breathe, his hands on his stomach rising and falling as he took another. “Sorry. Thanks for being so patient with me this weekend.”

Robyn laughed lightly. “Seriously? You know I would do anything for you Taron and do we need to talk about two weekends ago? I believe you were literally my rock at that course.” Again she delicately pressed out the frown lines on his forehead. “I am fine with it Taron and you have been amazing this weekend and your family have enjoyed you being home so much.” She ran her index finger down his nose, seeing the slightest of change in his face so she did it again and again, his eyebrows rising with his smile. “Everything happens for a reason, shitty or not and we always come through and we know our circumstances are so different. People respect what we have been through, it changes how they react to us, think about us. Well most of them anyway. Me and you?” She ran two fingers down his nose this time, keeping their path past his lips and to his chin. “We are friends for life. Nothing going to break us up.”

Taron opened his eyes to look at Robyn, grinning as she trailed her fingers back up his face. “Definitely.” He agreed. “Thank you for being so understanding with my job Robyn. I know it isn’t easy.”

“I have a fantastic support around me Taron in you and your family and Lyndsey and I trust you. I know you wouldn’t do anything with the media unless you were absolutely sure it was ok. You will always be weary but believe me, I know when you mean no and also, I wouldn’t have walked your red carpet if I felt completely overwhelmed by it all.”

“I know. Thank you.”

Robyn awkwardly bent her head so she could kiss his forehead. “So time for after sun I think. Those shoulders are still giving you hell.”

“I am tired.” He said a little sleepily.

“Too tired to roll over so I can rub your shoulders?”

“Yeah.” He answered closing his eyes tight to further his point.

“Well ok then.” Robyn took her hands away from his head and face and moved so she was laying down on the bed, on her right side, facing Taron. Snuggling down into the pillow, she curled up and closed her eyes. She let her legs straighten out slightly, the tight curl pulling sore skin and shuffled a little to find the most comfortable position, now a little on her stomach her left leg resting on the bed over her other leg.

“Robyn!” Taron sat up on his elbows, regretting the stance but stayed as he was so he could look at his friend as she got ready to sleep. Her pyjama shorts as rolled up with the way she lay and he could see those sore looking lesions on her skin, the coloured bruises but she never complained once during the evening that she was hurting or in pain. The three dressings he had placed over the worst of the cuts, were still intact but even if she wasn’t saying anything, he could see her injuries were still very tender as she kept the pressure of her leg. Distracted by her scratches, when he looked to her face, her eyes were open and he realised he had been caught staring at her. Gathering his thoughts, Taron remembered what he wanted to say. “No after sun?”

“Hard to rub it in when you are laying on your back.”

“I will roll over.”

“I am already set for bed.”

“Robynnnn!” Taron whined, throwing himself back onto the bed. “My shoulders!”

“You snooze you lose rocketman.” Robyn giggled into her pillow as she felt the bed move as he kicked his legs. “Taron, stop it!”

“But my shoulders. They are sore.”

“My eyes are tired.” Robyn answered him laughing hard as he kicked his legs again. “Jesus you are worse than a four-year-old.” Robyn sat up, taking her time and crossed her legs, making sure she was sitting opposite him. “Go and get the stuff for me and I will look after you.”

With a wide grin, Taron jumped to his feet and quickly walked out of his bedroom and to the bathroom where he knew the jar of after sun and tube of gel were after they were left there from earlier that evening. When he came back into the bedroom, Robyn was sitting at the end of his bed.

“You can sit in here.” She said to him pointing in-between her legs. “I can’t kneel comfortably at the moment.” She held her hands out for the jars, seeing his steps slow a little. “Or we can stand if you want.”

“No no. Stay as you are.” Taron hastened his pace a little and gave her the after sun and gel. “I can sit in front of you.” Turning around, he lowered himself onto the soft duvet of the bed, making sure he was sitting right back so he wouldn’t fall off. “This ok?”

“Yeah perfect.” Robyn had moved back until Taron was settled and then forward again so she could easily reach his back and not have to stretch too much, her legs either side of him, bent a little at her knees. “Is it still sore?” She asked him as she opened the green jar, placing it to her left.

“Not as bad but definitely noticeable.”

“Tomorrow is day three, so by Tuesday the heat and sting should really ease but keep rubbing in the cream Taron.”

“I will.”

“And even after it doesn’t hurt any more because then your skin will start to itch and dry out.”

“I will.”

“And if you can’t do it, get someone else to do it for you because that itchiness is really itchy and if you keep scratching it, you can hurt…”

“Robyn…” Taron turned around as best as he could to look at her. “I promise I will.” He gave her a sideways smile. “I promise.”

Robyn retuned his smile. “Sorry just…”

“I will do it myself if I have to.”

“Ok.”

“Now can you do it for me please?”

“Sure.”

Taron turned back around and when Robyn placed her hands on his shoulders, he didn’t jump but happily breathed in, letting his head drop to his chin. Though they were sore, he was getting used to the burn that had been with him all weekend but it didn’t mean he was so appreciative of the mix of the after sun and cooling gel on his warm skin, even more of how Robyn was still as gentle as ever with him.

“You have gotten used to the tropical scent.” Robyn said to him as dragged her thumbs down his spine and then her whole hand back up over his skin to his shoulders.

“Doesn’t bother me as much anymore and we never really did have the chance to get a new pot.”

“True.”

“And I have noticed a softness to my skin today.”

Robyn chuckled. “I told you. You happy if I do your whole back?”

“I am not going to say no.”

Filling her right palm with the cream colour after sun, Robyn rolled her hands together, her hands fully covered and ran them down his back, leaving long white streaks of cream on his skin. She stopped just above the waistband of his shorts and moved her hands out so her fingers curved around his waist and sides, Taron lifting his arms a little so she could run the whole way up his body and then back down. She moved into the centre of his back, circling the tips of her fingers around and around, ensuring all the cream was rubbed in.

“I am going to miss this.” Taron whispered, now feeling Robyn palm down his arms and over his forearms, changing the pressure she used once she hit the sensitive burnt skin at the top of his shoulders.

“You have been a spoilt boy the last few days.”

“I need one of these every day after set. I am so stiff when I finished after holding myself so straight during filming.”

“I can’t cut myself in half.” Robyn laughed lightly as she squeezed some of the gel directly onto each shoulder and then rubbing it in circles lightly. “Take a bath. It always helps.”

“My apartment in Belfast doesn’t have one and the shower is nowhere near powerful enough to get the knots out.”

“You need to get a back massager.”

“I have one. She just lives too far away.” He flinched and rolled his shoulders around and slightly away from Robyn as she pinched his sore skin. “Shit, ow.” He shivered too as the twinge from the pinch travelled across his skin and only settled down when her hands lay flat on his body again. “I deserved that I know but fuck Robyn.”

Giggling, Robyn leaned forward to kiss where she had pinched. “Sorry but I am not your personal back massager. Personal cookie maker, sure but that’s where it ends.”

“But…”

“Your sun burn is by coincidence and the only reason you are getting these three times a day. No sun burn, no massage except when you use a voucher and the head massages don’t count.” Robyn slid her hands down the full length of his back again, drifting over the skin at his shorts. “Did I miss anything?”

Taron grinned into his chest. “No Robyn, you answered all my buts.” He groaned happily as she pressed her thumbs hard into his skin. “So good at this.” He spoke through another moan, his back arching as she did it again. “Once more, please?”

“Sure Taron but it’s the last one.” Digging deep into his warm skin Robyn’s last one gave him five minutes of soothing relief and when she was done, she shuffled back on the bed and closed the jar and tube. “I am going to leave these with you.” She got off the bed and walked to his case, placing both on top of his clothes. “And…” She turned to his wardrobe and opened the door, taking out his new green jumper she had given him. “I don’t think you want to forget this either.” She folded it up and put it in his case too.

“Thank you Robyn.” Taron got to his feet and came to crouch beside her. “Sometimes I need the little extra help with these things.”

“And I am always happy to do that for you.” She leaned into him as he gave her a sideways hug. “So you should actually try and get some sleep now.”

Taron nodded and stood up, making his way to his bed, flopping onto his stomach, taking up his latest sleeping position, feeling the bed move as Robyn lay down beside him. He called out to set his alarm for six, already feeling tired at the thought if getting up at the crack of down in less than seven hours. “Do you think there is any chance of one cuddle this weekend?” He asked, his voice muffled by the pillow his face was buried into.

“You know I am always your number one cuddle supporter.” Robyn replied. She was laying on her side as before but closer to Taron this time and she watched him shuffle around so he was laying on his back, making sure he was comfortable before he gave her a nod and beautiful smile.

“I am ready and waiting.” Once Robyn had filled the space between them, she very carefully leaned her cheek against his shoulder. “That is not a cuddle Robyn Quinn. I want a proper one.”

With a little grin, Robyn moved even closer to him, moving so her head was against his chest, her cheek nestled against his bare skin. She was turned more on her stomach than her side, still keeping the pressure off her leg. She tucked her right arm under herself and let her right rest on his chest just under her chin. “Your shoulders ok?”

“Just fine.” Taron lightly wrapped his left arm around her, his hand resting on her waist. “Missed this too.”

Robyn laughed a little, enjoying the echo of his laugh in his chest too. “I am happy to just be with you.”

“We will see each other soon, won’t we?” Taron asked as his eyes closed, feeling lovely and cosy now he finally got to hold her close to him.

“Of course we will.” She said firmly.

“I don’t mean by video call Robyn.”

“Neither do I Taron. We will figure it out.”

“I like seeing you every two weeks but I will be back in London in the next two weeks.”

Robyn could hear and feel the increase in his heart beat and she very lightly stroked the tips of her fingers over the middle of his chest. “I can come over one of the evenings next week after work.”

“Night shoots Robyn.”

“You know I like watching you sleep.”

Taron’s whole body as he laughed, holding Robyn close to him in a tight hug with both arms. “Thank you. Always trying to make me smile.” He let his hand rest on hers which was still over his heart, his other arm back to her waist. “And you can’t keep watching me sleep.”

“Try and stop me.”

Laughing once more., Taron closed his tired eyes again. “Whatever makes you happy chicken.”

“You sleeping, so sleep.” Nuzzling into his soft skin, Robyn yawned.

“You too.” Taron replied his voice heavy with haziness. “I had a great weekend.”

“Me too.” Without thinking, Robyn turned her face slightly and placed a soft kiss on his skin. A little embarrassed by what she just did, not knowing exactly why she felt the need to suddenly give him the small little gesture, she lay her head back down. “Sleep rocketman.”

Taron’s chest was tingling where Robyn had placed the lightest of kisses and he pulled her a little further into him, smiling as she snuggled into him. He couldn’t say it out loud but his mind was repeating the same three words over and over again, his body wishing he really could pull her closer but content with his cuddle at last, he was determined to enjoy their closeness and turned his head, dipping his chin slightly so his nose was just touching her hair. “Sleep well Robyn.” His next three words were murmured, a quick ‘I love you’, knowing well she hadn’t heard him but every time he said it, he meant it more and more and this weekend further reinforced how much he loved and cared for the woman in his arms.