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chimericarchitect · 7 years ago

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((Terrible and Saness discuss the recent trouble she’s been having with her guardian and possible solutions to those problems. There are a few trigger warnings for this chat, including head stuff, manipulation, mind control, amnesia, suicide (sorta), and death in general.))

flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 11:23 AM FO: chirp? Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 11:24 AM SP: Sorry, I was distracted by a musical interlude. SP: I was gonna ask "what do you want to know" but you'd probably have a hard time forming specific questions without something to base it on. SP: So, uh, you wanted to know why that strategy was the strategy I've got going. I'm not actually set on it because I don't like it as a plan, but I will probe my options before taking action y'know? Even the ones that suck. SP: Anyway, Anista is a golem or something. SP: And it sucks. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 11:30 AM FO: totally, checking out your options is the smart thing even if some of the options are horrible bullshit. you wont know exactly how bad an idea they are if you dont check FO: i usually bring up the worst idea first when im tryin to solve my own problems, just so i can cross it off the list... FO: that does suck. i could tell there was something going on in her, but ive got no idea whats in there. FO: was she always a golem? Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 11:34 AM SP: I think so. I'm guessing a little bit on that part. Context says probably, because I did a thing and almost got wiped so she got replaced with a Brand New Anista Golem that functioned like she used to, meaning that she's acting like a full person again instead of a zombie. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 11:53 AM FO: uh, yikes FO: you okay there? FO: and who or what replaced her? Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 11:55 AM SP: I'm... uh, yeah. SP: It's just a thing. SP: As for the who/what in charge of replacing her, I'm not quite sure. They're a lot bigger than me, but I'm not willing to say "horrorterror" without evidence. I'm not experienced enough to tell. So, for now, it remains a mystery. SP: If you meant "what is she now" then the answer is "a seemingly normal troll who is constantly keeping tabs on me and probably ready to dropkick my pan at the slightest provocation." flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 12:01 PM FO: misc eldritch thing #1 it is FO: yikes, thats p shitty FO: if i ever catch you acting different, do you want to give preemptive permission for me to sneak over and try to return you to this state? FO: or like, to come check and make sure any changes are Legit Things You Wanted And Are Fine With Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 12:03 PM SP: That would be pretty great, if you don't mind. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 12:04 PM FO: fuckin anytime, dude, ill set myself a timer to peek at your blog once a week. make sure to delete the logs of this convo in case she peeks at your computer FO: okay so, something happened, and she wound down enough that she stopped working. but then something else happened, and now shes back. FO: is she winding down again, or is she going to stay at full capacity? FO: did the thing that put her together like this get distracted and wander off forever, or did it wander off and then come back? Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 12:10 PM SP: There is no evidence suggesting that she is in a state of decline, presently. She was fine and seemingly normal for the entirety of three sweeps before she turned into the zombie fake-o person. My current hypothesis is that she... wears out? Like a timer, or an old battery or something. SP: The thing that did this obviously isn't hanging out 24/7 or I probably wouldn't be me already. I think Anista-Golem is like a watchdog or something for whatever-the-fuck eldritch doodad the first. SP: A lot of that is gonna be speculation; I don't know much about the big guy. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 12:14 PM FO: yeeahh...(edited) FO: yeah you need out of there dude FO: and you need out of there in a way that they wont notice FO: so i can see why the death thing is a thing FO: i wish id known about this while you were still seery, then i coulda asked some questions an gotten pokey about a lotta fuckin FO: theres a lotta unknowns here and a lotta things that Could branch how this goes If they are true FO: ... shit is p whack, friend. anythin i can do to help i will Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 12:18 PM SP: Thanks, Terrible. I really do appreciate it. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 12:22 PM FO: this one time my life sucked total ass, and someone was nice to me at exactly the right time. and i decided that maybe being nice to people wasnt stupid, and that it was nice that there were people like that around. so i decided to be someone like that. FO: this shit is exactly why. Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 12:23 PM SP: It's a good attitude, in my opinion. I prefer to help people when I can. SP: Before I go on about my plan to get out of here, there's a bit more to this yet, of the things I know. SP: One of the reasons I trust my death-note-suggestion from the future-past is because, like I said, I almost got wiped. SP: If I hadn't been all godly when it happened, it might've worked. Probably would have. SP: Anyway SP: I was getting erased, or blocked, or something (gross and weird) because I was messing with a mind wall (maybe?) and I got caught. SP: So maybe I need to disconnect from whatever I'm tethered to. SP: It's what I'm guessing, anyway. I'd prefer not to do the dying thing, obviously. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 12:24 PM FO: B( FO: yeah, obvs. FO: im guessin you respawned once, but also dont remember parts of the anon? FO: is there other stuff that feels not solid? FO: the healer chick would need a small piece a you but hair or blood would probably do it, and she could rez you from a distance on command after that. shed just need to know when Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 12:41 PM SP: Most of the not-solid is from my memories. I don't remember a lot of stuff, it seems. Other stuff has to do with Anista and the generator. SP: Oh wait. SP: The generator. That's an okay idea. In tandem, not separately. SP: I'd need to put Anista out of commission for a bit though. Hm. SP: Can you tell me a little about the healer lady? I trust you, but I've never spoken to her I don't think. Is she a God Tier as well? flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 12:43 PM FO: yeah. shes a meenah, Meenah Peixes FO: long story short she lives in sparks's universe, and she's kinda low key and staying out of the spotlight. does a lotta bakin, some healin for pay. FO: shes kinda mercenary but i think she cares about dudes once they catch her interest, which most dont FO: the universe shes in has legal limes, crimsons, and wings, and no caste system, so theres no problems on the mutant front FO: i could vouch to be there and supervise 100% of the rez process if you trust me enough for that an itd help any Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 1:00 PM SP: I don't know if that will help any, but I appreciate the offer and I'll keep it in mind. SP: I considered whether or not, as a Prince of Mind, you'd be able to bust shit up so I could skip the not-being-alive part, but that seems less likely to work and more likely to get you smooshed by the eldritch fucko. SP: Besides this stuff, I'm trying to convince a pal of mine to go off-world with me before they fuck up and start a sgrub session. SP: None of my timeframes are defined, so it all feels kinda like it has to be done immediately. Am I gonna get wiped? Is my friend gonna blow up this Alternia? I don't know what's happening first. SP: I think I'm rambling now, sorry. SP: More useful thing, practical type. Do you know the charging rates on resurrection? SP: Which is a funny sentence, by the way. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 1:04 PM FO: fightin an eldritch fucko would be a heck of a fight, but its one id give a go. ive done it before, ive pulled that kinda shit outta dudes heads. theres a big variance on how big an individual eldritch fucko happens to be though, so its a thing to take super fuckin seriously before blunderin straight into FO: if anybody could cut a mind connection, id probably be able to though FO: ramblin makes sense, and bein in a hurry makes sense too. why is your friend on the verge of startin a sgrub session? do they like, know not to? -- flippinOptimist began sending file : meenahsfliersarefuckinweird.pdf -- (( a 2-page document, where the first is a classy menu for baked goods with a catering section at the bottom, and the second is a matching menu for healing by injury type with a 'special requests on case by case basis' section at the bottom. It lists reviving as a special request. )) FO: i think she bases it partly on what a dude can scrape together, but idk FO: theres a chance sparks might be willin to help (or meddle) for free, but hes got an M!A rn thats fuckin up his ability to do things Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 1:17 PM [ sanessPsuede downloaded meenahsfliersarefuckinweird.pdf ] SP: Oh hey, great, thanks. SP: I don't know how close she is to starting one, because she's not answering any of my messages. SP: I'll probably have to hunt her down in person. I figure she can't start a game if I get her out of the zone for a bit. SP: Maybe delay the inevitable. SP: Fex is a cool dude. You and he have some stuff in common there. SP: I haven't been able to tell my friend not to yet, obviously. I don't think she took it seriously when I told her about it before. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 1:23 PM FO: good luck delayin it, an talkin your friend outta it FO: sgrub is somethin you can make the best outta, f you get stuck in it, but uh FO: a lot of it sucks real bad Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 1:27 PM SP: It's probably more efficient SP: to see if dying works SP: rather than engaging in a risky conflict unprepared SP: Side note! SP: Thoughts on how to break a mental connection to a thing that is not a person? SP: Like the Anista puppet or a wall. SP: If there's not a mind, can there even be a link? flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 1:41 PM FO: efficient isnt really a good word when somebodys life is on the line, and id still risk it. its more about whats most likely to work i think. FO: i think worrying about whether or not something is a person is more of a soul / heart thing FO: if it has a mind, thats close enough FO: theres plenty of bugs that are too simple for me to be able to get a read on FO: and a couple a computer programs that are almost something enough, that i cant quite reach FO: but i peeked at her and saw that she existed and that there was stuff, if i was careful enough i might be able to unplug somethin FO: i think info processing and the ability to choose between outcomes is the big thing. ideally in some kind of.. complex..ish way, naut just a simple if statement Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 2:07 PM SP: What about a literal wall? Something completely mindless. Could something eldritch-y make a connection to it? flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 2:11 PM FO: never seen one! one way to find out though B) Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 2:22 PM SP: :D SP: Okay, I'm gonna see about getting in touch with Meenah. No point waiting around. SP: It's efficient, and probably more effective. SP: I'm not inclined to gamble with more than my own neck if I can avoid it. SP: Risk to result ratio says dying is the way to live SP: while causing the least amount of harm, probably flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 2:25 PM FO: if youre sure dude FO: for what its worth, if you go into a death knowin its comin and bein okay w knowin youre (probably) comin out the other side, its naut as aaaaaaaaAAAAa as it is when its a surprise and also a big upsetting disruption FO: its still kinda A Fuckin Thing, but FO: its possible to get over it, more n most ways of death comin by Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 2:29 PM SP: Okay, I'm not really sure, but the alternative worries me a lot and putting other people at risk jangles my moral compass pretty hard flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 2:30 PM FO: man, if you ever godtier, you're definitely gonna run into problems w the heroic thing Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 2:35 PM SP: Just means I'd be a normal dude with super powers. One life, one death. Seems fair. SP: And sucky. SP: No thank you, Sgrub. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 2:43 PM FO: yeah, p much.

#ooc eyes only #flippinoptimist #plot #//death #//suicide #//mind control #//manipulation #//amnesia #//head stuff #chat log #long post

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bubble-tea-bunny · 8 years ago

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little miss sweet dreams

[archie andrews x reader] [hints of jason blossom x reader]

author’s note: when the inspiration hits you, it feels like a freight train. but in a fit of irony, it’s not painful. it’s actually quite fulfilling. hope you like this!

word count: 12,061 (yes. i know.)

here’s the song i used for inspo. it’s my favorite song in general atm: x

Archie finds it odd how things could be so close yet so far away.

It’s a little poetic in its notion—okay, a lot poetic—and is a phrase that’s highly versatile. It can be used to describe a finish line that’s 100 yards away but it feels more like 1,000 because of how tired you are. It can be used to describe getting an 89.5 in a class but your teacher doesn’t round up so you’re stuck with a B+ in the class instead of an A-. It’s used to describe the feeling when school is in its final month and suddenly time seems to slow down, the final day of the year now a taunting presence.

But for Archie, well, for him it’s a person.

“Heeeey, buddy!” you greet amicably, leaning against the locker next to Archie’s.

The redhead smiles at your energetic hello. “You are entirely too perky for 8 in the morning.” This sentence is punctuated by the thud of books in his locker as he rearranges them and grabs the ones he needs for first period.

“Well I got a good night’s rest. Because”—you open the front zipper of your backpack and fish around in it, finally pulling out a USB stick—“I finished my half of the bio report we needed to do.”

“Wow, didn’t save it for when I’m rushing you to finish it?” Archie teases, taking the USB from you and sticking it in his backpack.

“Nope.” You pop the p and smile widely. “I decided to follow your advice and not procrastinate, and you’re right, it feels good.”

Archie laughs. “And you said I give shitty advice.”

“Wha—I don’t give shitty advice!”

“‘You won’t be late to class if you don’t show up’?” he quotes.

You don’t answer right away, and Archie begins to laugh as he slings his backpack onto his shoulders. “But it’s true!” You run after your friend as he starts to walk down the hallway, in the direction of his first class of the day.

“And just because it’s true doesn’t mean it isn’t shitty.”

You groan. “Ugh, fine,” you concede, and this earns you another laugh.

“What’s gotten you two so awake this morning?” Betty inquires with a smile as she approaches you, hair tied neatly into the perfect ponytail which sways with her every step.

“Do I give shitty advice?” you ask her before Archie can say anything.

Betty raises a brow, thoroughly confused at this question which seems to have come from out of the blue. Her eyes slide up to Archie, who shrugs, and then she looks back at you. “Well—”

“See, even Betty agrees with me,” Archie cuts her off.

“You didn’t even let her finish!” you argue.

Betty smiles nervously. “You don’t… give the greatest advice, [Name],” she offers, doing her best not to be so harsh.

You sigh and shake your head, but you’re smiling as well to show you’re not in any way offended. “Fine, fine, I guess I’ll just refrain from giving advice anytime soon.” You hold up your hands as if to admit defeat.

By this time all three of you have reached Betty and Archie’s first class of the day. Your first period is different, in a classroom farther down the hall, and you’re about to say your goodbye so you can walk over to yours, but then you look over Betty’s shoulder and your eyes light up.

Jason Blossom is as put-together as ever. The whole student body doesn’t think he ever has an “off-day.” Perhaps that comes with the name, for Cheryl isn’t any different. Eyes find him as he walks down the hall. No one needs to look at the name stitched onto his blue and gold letterman to know who he is. His own eyes, however, are on you and he’s smiling.

“I’ll see you guys later, yeah?” you pipe up, glancing at your two friends. Betty smiles and nods but Archie’s own smile is tight-lipped as you leave them and head straight for Jason. The smile disappears completely when he watches the way your fingers interlocks with the Blossom’s. And then the pair of you have disappeared in the gradually growing sea of students as the day is about to begin.

Archie doesn’t realize he’s still staring down the hall long after you’re out of sight until he feels a hand set itself on his shoulder. He blinks as if being broken from a trance and looks down at Betty, his friend for as long as he can remember. The smile she aims at him is sympathetic.

“You okay?” she asks softly, keeping her question vague, but Archie doesn’t need it to be spelled out. In fact, he would rather it weren’t. It hurts a little to acknowledge and that’s not a wound he’d like to reopen.

But this long into it and he’s given up trying to fake it. And honestly, it would be stupid to try and lie to Betty. She knows him like the back of her own hand. But she asks it to be polite and supportive and he understands that but it doesn’t make the blow any less harsh. So he sighs heavily, the mirth he’d been feeling not five minutes ago now gone despite the fact he still has the rest of the day to get through. “Not really.”

Betty’s heart squeezes painfully at seeing her friend like this, but she continues to smile comfortingly. She doesn’t say anything, because there’s nothing that will help. She doesn’t have the power to pull Archie out of this rut, as much as she wishes she could. It’s his choice to be stuck in it, and he doesn’t seem like he plans to get himself out, or like he even wants to get himself out. It’s a little strange to consider, for surely that experience isn’t enjoyable, to want something you can’t have, like a little kid seeing a toy in a shop window but his pockets are empty.

She resolves to offer her ear to him, to listen if he wants to talk, as she always does when her friend isn’t feeling well. She knows it doesn’t need repeating, for it’s kind of a given that she’ll be there for him, but she also knows that sometimes Archie needs to be reassured. And so she opens her mouth, but before anything can be said, Archie turns and walks into the classroom, and her hand she had resting on his shoulder slips and falls back down to her side. Her mouth shuts, and she follows behind him, her bright eyes now just a little more somber.

———

Archie Andrews is a walking cliché. He'd like to say he isn’t pining after his friend who is also the star quarterback’s girlfriend and while there is no force on earth that can keep him from saying it, he stops himself, because what’s the point when it’d only be a thinly veiled excuse haphazardly thrown on top of his unrequited feelings? He’s tried the denial game, tried “faking it till he made it,” but nothing worked. It’s hard to ignore what he feels for you when suddenly one day your smile has taken over all his thoughts and he wants to do everything he can to get you to laugh because he is in love with the sound and he is in love with you.

During his free period he settles down in the student lounge, laptop out so he can plug in the USB stick you gave him. He saves the document you have on it before opening it, glancing over what you’d written to make sure everything is in line so he can then combine it with what he wrote. He skims quickly, but one sentence is highlighted and so he clicks on it, a comment box popping up: I’m not sure if I understood this part right. Can you please check my work? You’re smarter than me!

He can practically hear you saying this and it pulls a smile from him. All your life you’ve considered him to be the smarter of the pair of you, but Archie isn’t inclined to agree. Your strengths just happen to lie elsewhere, and that’s a sentiment you’re adamant to accept, if only because you don’t want to put yourself on any sort of pedestal. But now that he thinks about it, you find yourself on one whether or not you mean to just by being Jason Blossom’s girlfriend. But knowing you, you’re not thinking much of it. You’re no Cheryl. And your focus is solely on Jason.

Betty takes her seat on the couch next to Archie, and she raises a brow when she notices his lips are set in a thin line and he seems to be glaring at his laptop screen, where he’s pulled up his own half of your biology report.

“What did bio ever do to you?” she tries to joke, but when Archie doesn’t laugh, she sighs and drops the tone of her voice down to a hush so the other students in the lounge don’t overhear. She already knows what this is about. “You can’t keep doing this to yourself, Arch,” she pleads with him—yes, pleads, because this isn’t the first time this has happened, far from it actually, and now she is openly desperate for her friend to at least try to move on.

The redhead just swallows hard and shakes his head, unable to provide a solid reason for why he wants to stay like this, downtrodden and heartbroken. Because he likes it? Because he thinks that maybe one day your mind will change and you’ll run to him and not Jason Blossom? Perhaps it would be better to say that he hopes for the latter. And he doesn’t like feeling like this, but in a move that is blatantly masochistic he will remain where he is for as long as it takes.

For as long as what takes?

For as long as it takes for you to realize Jason Blossom is no Archie Andrews.

“Maybe you should just… move on,” Betty suggests—very hesitantly, mights she add, because her friend is like a ticking time bomb when it comes to his feelings for you and she wants to help him but it won’t work unless he’s willing to be helped.

Archie suddenly closes his laptop, the swift motion causing the blonde to flinch. He tucks it away in his backpack and stands quickly. “I’ll see you later, Betty,” he says curtly, slinging his backpack onto his shoulder and promptly leaving the lounge and Betty alone.

The young Cooper hurts for him, hurts with him. And as much as she loves you, for you’d found a home in her and Archie from the first day you moved to Riverdale in the sixth grade, she doesn’t know if she can ever forgive you for what you’ve done to him, what you’re doing to him, knowingly or not. No one deserves to feel the way that he does.

The hallways are still empty for the most part, since the bell isn’t supposed to ring for another three minutes, but Archie makes his way to your locker where he usually finds you waiting at this time, since you have the same class next period and between the two of you, your locker is closer to the classroom.

He turns the corner, but just as quickly as he had, his steps stagger and he ducks back out of sight. Slowly he peaks around, watching you and Jason—well, spying seems to be the better word. In a picture that seems straight out of those teen romance movies, you’re leaning against your locker, Jason’s arm above your head as he cages you in. There’s no one else in that corridor so neither of you is trying to be subtle; although everybody knows Jason Blossom and how he is—he’d be acting much the same even if the hall were bustling with other people. You, on the other hand, would probably be shier, attempting to get him to back away so no one need see the two of you being so intimate. But right now, you make no moves to push him away, and when he leans down to kiss you, you meet him eagerly.

Your giggles echo in the hall and to Archie, it is haunting and it makes his heart ache.

The bell rings and it startles him. As if floodgates have been opened, students pour from the classrooms and he sees Jason give you one last kiss before he allows you to pull away. As he sets off down the hall to his next class, Archie walks around the corner again and you twist around as he gets closer. You’re smiling widely and you’re glowing and Archie wishes he was the one that caused that.

“Hey! You ready?” you ask.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Archie jokes, pretending that his distress is from having to go to biology and not because he’s just seen you and Jason kissing and you looking so happy to be with him, as though you’ll never give your heart away to anyone else because the boy whom you gave it to has also given you his.

“At least the day is almost done,” you reply, trying to make light of having to go to class (and for a subject you don’t consider yourself very good at to begin with no less).

The two of you sit at the same lab station in class, as you always do, but even though you’re only a couple of feet away from Archie, he’s never felt farther from you.

———

“Hey, does this look centered to you?”

A beat of silence. “Yeah, looks like it.”

“Cool.” You pick up the piece of paper that has the title for the project so you can put glue on the back, before sticking it down at the top of the poster board.

The two of you work in relative silence, too concentrated on the task before you. Archie is cutting out the titles and summaries for you to mount on the poster board. Once this is done, all that’s left is for him to put together the written portion the two of you had split in half. You tend to partner up in any classes you share, and this is probably the earliest you’ve finished a project due to the fact you didn’t procrastinate this time around. And it makes the next week completely free for both of you.

“Hey,” Archie starts to grab your attention, and you hum as you put glue on another piece of paper to let him know you’re listening. “That new movie comes out this Friday. Did you want to maybe go see it?”

Your look up at him, eyes bright, and you’re about to say yes, but then your smile fades as you think. “Friday…?” You sigh quietly. “I’m having dinner at the Blossoms’ that night. I’m sorry, Arch.” You smile again but this time it’s sympathetic and Archie can’t decide if he hates or loves how genuine you are in your apology.

“It’s fine,” Archie replies, forcing a smile on his face.

“But don’t let that stop you from seeing it. Maybe you can go with Betty?”

“I think I will, yeah.” You smile at him gently before returning to work on the poster board, but then Archie speaks up again.

“Dinner with the Blossoms, huh?” At this remark you glance up at your friend who’s smirking slightly.

You sigh and laugh lightly. “Yeah, I know. They are a little too high maintenance for me”—Archie’s laugh of disbelief prompts you to rephrase—“Okay, a lot high maintenance. But it’s Jason’s family, so I deal.”

“You two really love each other.” The words are out of Archie’s mouth before he can stop them. He has a feeling he has just begun to dig himself a deeper hole.

This comment causes you to stop working as you really consider its implications. The time it takes you to come up with a response makes Archie also pause in his work, scissors mid-cut on the piece of paper he holds in his other hand. “Love is a strong word…” you begin. “But I guess it’s something like that, yeah.” You smile, as does Archie, for he really has nothing to say back, but you can tell his isn’t authentic.

“Are you all right?” you ask him, eyes full of concern. He’s staring down at the dining table now. “Arch?”

Said boy inhales deeply and forces himself to look at you, to try not to see you as a stranger. “Yeah, I’m doing fine, [Name].”

You don’t look so convinced, your brows furrowed in worry. You want to press further, because you’re his friend and you want him to trust you because that’s what friends do, but before you’re able to say anything, the front door opens and Fred comes into the kitchen, setting down a bag of groceries on the island.

“Hi, [Name]!” he greets. “I didn’t know you were coming around today.”

You smile, trying to move past the awkwardness that had settled over you and Archie. “Yeah. Working on the bio project.” As if to prove the validity of your statement, you hold up the piece of paper in your hand that contains a summary for one of the poster board sections.

“You sticking around for dinner? I can order pizza.”

On any other day you’d answer yes in a heartbeat, and should you say no thank you, Archie would be doing his best to get you to stay. But this time you hesitate, eyes sliding over to Archie, who’s watching you closely. If you were to say no this time around, you have the feeling he wouldn’t stop you, and that hurts to think about.

You look back at Fred. “Yeah, I can stay.”

Fred smiles and claps his hands together. “Great! I’ll order right now. I’m sure you guys are starving.” The landline is in the lounge and that’s where he goes so he can call the local pizza parlor. No orders need be taken because you’d gotten pizza enough that he’s memorized what you and Archie want. When he leaves, your smile fades as you look back at your friend. When your eyes meet, he goes back to cutting the paper he’s holding.

You bite your lip. “You know you can tell me anything, right?” The statement comes out quietly.

Archie swallows the lump in his throat and glances up at you. There’s a storm in your eyes and it’s distraught and suddenly he feels like shit. He was supposed to make you happy and now he’s the one responsible for the unease you're harboring. “Yeah, I know,” he responds just as quietly. “But I’m fine. I promise.”

You nod and decide not to pry any more. You and Archie haven’t been friends this long for nothing. He trusts you and you trust him, and while part of being friends means driving home the fact that you can share anything, it also means respecting the other until they are ready to talk. So you will wait for him to open up of his own volition. You just wanted him to understand that he can talk to you, and the way he looks at you lets you know he does understand that, but right now isn’t the right time.

In an attempt to regain the relaxed atmosphere that had permeated the kitchen prior to the mention of the Blossoms, you turn your attention back to the mess of papers on the dining table. “Come on, maybe we can finish this before the pizza gets here.”

“With the pizza parlor’s ‘pizza in 30 minutes or it’s free’ rule, I’m not too sure,” Archie jokes. You laugh, and then he laughs as well, and it’s with a not too surprising quickness that the tension dissipates and things are back to normal.

———

Jason Blossom is out of the picture, but that no longer means anything to Archie.

Jason Blossom is dead, and that means a lot to everyone in Riverdale.

Most prominently to the Blossoms themselves, but that goes without saying. They sport red eyes to match their red hair and their usual fire is snuffed out like a campfire in a rainstorm. But Archie’s heart doesn’t hurt for them. It hurts for you.

It’s worrying when on the morning Jason is declared dead and you’re standing on the shore of Sweetwater Lake with Archie, you don’t cry. He looks at you and wants to say something, anything, but he can’t find the right words to say. What is he supposed to say in a situation like this? “I’m sorry”? Sorry for what? This was out of his control, out of everyone’s control. And he’s not one for empty words of consolation. So he gives up on trying to say anything, and resumes watching the police and the Blossoms standing farther down the shore. There’s no body to be found. For being the middle of summer, it feels awfully cold out.

Archie walks you home. The two of you had snuck away before anyone else from school who’d been there or even the Blossoms themselves could approach you. You didn’t need to say anything for Archie to know you didn’t want to deal with that—not right now, probably not ever. You’re not sure how to deal with a loss this size. Archie doesn’t know how you’ll handle it either, but he does know that he will be right there next to you.

You give Archie your house keys because your hands are shaking too much to unlock the door, and he lets you in first. Your footsteps are silent on the wooden floor of your empty house (your parents are at work), and Archie’s back is turned to you as he shuts the door behind him. As soon as he twists back around, he watches as you break.

You sit down right where you are, drawing your knees up to your chest and allowing your tears to flow freely now that you’re in private. Your sobs shake Archie to the core and he rushes over to you, sitting next to you and wrapping an arm around your shoulders to bring you close. Your tears are staining his shirt but he doesn’t care. He squeezes you tightly, wanting more than anything to take your pain, to bear it for you. You’re falling apart at the seams and he doesn’t know how to repair torn stitches.

He rubs your back comfortingly, lips quivering slightly when he feels the way you’re shaking like a leaf in his arms. As he sits here now, he can’t help but feel an overwhelming amount of guilt. It’s a dreadful sensation that fills his body and leads him to think he’s not worthy of being the one to comfort you. He’d been so resentful of Jason Blossom because he’d gotten to you first, had claimed your heart for himself before Archie could. And it’s as if Life was willing to give Archie a chance too, but opened the door to him in the worst way possible.

So for now, Archie’s feelings are pushed to the side. His only focus currently is on being your support, your backbone until you have the strength to stand back up on your feet by yourself, because before all else, he is your friend. He doesn’t know when that will be, when you’ll be anywhere near back to normal, and he doubts you know that either. You’ll need time to grieve and process what’s happening, and if there’s just one thing Archie need be sure of, it’s that from here on out, life won’t be the same anymore—for you or him or anyone else in this once sleepy town that is now about to wake up.

———

The first thing most people at Riverdale High School notice is that you and Cheryl have been dealing with the grief in very different ways. The young Blossom shows no signs of weakness in the hallways, where all eyes find her. Last school year, eyes were on her because she was a fiery Blossom and the captain of the River Vixens. This school year, eyes are on her because she is a fiery Blossom and the captain of the River Vixens who’s just lost her twin brother. But she carries on surprisingly unshaken for the most part, for she advocates that the back-to-school dance and the pep rally carry on in memory of Jason rather than being cancelled.

You, on the other hand, are like a whole different person. You shut out pretty much everyone, there are bags under your eyes from nights of lost sleep because instead of sleeping you do work. If you try to sleep, all you can see in your mind’s eye is Jason, and then your chest pangs painfully, and it hurts to the point you can’t sleep anymore. Your procrastination is solved because of this, but as Archie looks at you and sees the life fading from your eyes, he wishes you were back to your procrastinating self, and he wishes he’d at least hear something from you. You hardly speak nowadays, and he and Betty miss your jokes and shitty advice. In all honesty, Archie is scared you’ll never come back to being your old self. He and Betty will love you no matter what, but they miss that part of you. It’s hard to believe how easily things could take a 180.

“The pep rally is tomorrow night,” Archie starts one day in the student lounge. “Are you going?”

You purse your lips and stop reading your novel for English, looking uneasily at your friend. “I don’t know…”

“It’ll be fun,” Veronica pipes up from the couch opposite you. “Betty and I are gonna be cheering and we want you to be there.” Betty nods her head in agreement.

That pulls a small smile from you. Well, you haven’t gone out of your house for something other than school for weeks. It had always been your friends coming to you, not out of obligation but because they wanted to. You shouldn’t let your grieving interrupt supporting them too, for they had been there for you and it only makes sense that you put in the same amount of effort. “I guess I can go, yeah.”

Archie smiles widely and considers this a triumph; suddenly there’s more weight to his participation in the pep rally knowing you’ll be there.

The following night, you and Kevin are sitting high up in the bleachers and this is probably the most you’ve smiled in a long time. The crowd is energetic, Josie and her pussycats are incredible, and the smiles of Betty and Veronica are contagious as their eyes find you. For a night you feel like everything is normal, and Kevin is at your side keeping your spirits high before they can sink too low.

You’re thoroughly out of breath from all the screaming when it’s time to introduce the football team. You swallow nervously when the pep rally shifts into this segment, doing your best to hold back tears, but Kevin shouting his praise and support for the Bulldogs pulls you out of the lull, and soon your voice joins the others in the stands as the team bursts through the paper banner. You’re looking for Archie in the group of boys, to cheer him on specifically, but the scream dies in your throat when you take a look at his jersey.

It seems as though Cheryl comes to the same revelation you do at seeing Archie out on the field, donning the number 9—you see Jason in him, but he’s not Jason, and all at once you’re pulled back to reality. It crashes down on you, and you can’t breathe. Cheryl runs off stage but where she goes is of no concern to you. Everyone sees her because she’s at the front, and that allows you to be a little more subtle with navigating your way down the stands, doing your best not to trip because you’re getting dizzy and your vision is hazy from the tears pooling in the corners of your eyes. Kevin is calling after you, a few steps behind you but not fast enough.

When you reach the bottom, you barely catch yourself, using the railing to get your balance, and then you’re off again, passing Jughead on your way out. Kevin comes to a stop at the base of the stands and both of them watch you leave, deciding it best to give you your space.

You don’t see Archie standing there out on the field, surrounded as he is by the heat of the other football players’ bodies and the huge lights, yet feeling colder than ever. Worry courses through him. He wants to run after you, to drop his helmet on the ground and find you and wipe your tears away. His coach is standing not far away, his eyes already on Archie, looking at him as if telling him to stay. But there are bigger issues he needs to deal with, and with an expression that seems to say I’m sorry, he abandons his helmet which falls with a thud on the grass as he runs after you just as Veronica runs after Cheryl.

He finds you sitting on the curb in the parking lot. There are only a few street lamps that illuminate you, in contrast to the large lights of the football field, so his eyes take some time to adjust. He sits next to you and opens his arms, and you automatically lean into him, doing your best to steady your breaths and stop the hiccups. Archie holds you all the while, patiently, reassuringly, and you curl your fingers into his jersey. When you open your eyes you see the number 9 staring back. So you close them again, snuggle closer, and pretend for a moment that it is Jason whose arms you’re in.

———

The pep rally had taken you one step forward but three steps back.

You’ve retreated back into your shell, and one way Archie has decided to help you come out of it is to keep him company while he works on his music. It’s not entirely ineffective.

You’re lounging on his bed one night, sitting up against the headboard with his pillow hugged to your chest as you watch him where he sits in his desk chair, guitar on his lap and notebook resting on his desk. Your smile is hidden behind the pillow but your eyes are soft and fascinated as you watch him work his magic. From where you are, he strings together words and melodies like it’s nothing. When he finishes doing a test run of the chorus, you speak up:

“You have a great voice.”

Archie looks up from his notebook where he’s crossing out some words and smiles widely. “You think so?”

“I know so, Arch.”

It’s the first time you’ve called him that since Jason died. It makes Archie incredibly happy to hear, and the joy in his eyes gives him away. You’ve hidden your mouth behind the pillow again but the way your eyes crinkle at the corners lets him know you’re smiling too, and that you also know that it’s been a long while since you’ve said that nickname. It feels right, natural to say, and not at all foreign despite the amount of time it’s been since you last said it. Archie marks this as a point of progress.

———

Apparently Life liked to play games of the sickening sort.

It’s Kevin who finds Jason’s body, washed up with a hole in his head. It sounds like something straight out of a murder mystery movie. The day you receive this news you feel numb and all you can hear is a ringing, echoing painfully in your ears. Your knees are weak and you want to vomit. You’re not the one who has to confirm the body is his, so for that you’re thankful. You want to remember Jason as he was before, full of life and a boy with a bright future ahead of him. Now he is the subject of a whodunit the likes of which Riverdale never thought it would see and it’s hard to come to terms with the fact he is now a murder victim and that is how he must be viewed because his killer is out there.

The gang does everything in their power to take your mind off of it, which proves to be difficult since they’re conducting an investigation of their own. It’s Archie who takes on most of that job, keeping you distracted while the others continue to work. He’s more than glad to be the one getting you to focus on happier things, because he doesn’t still doesn’t feel as though he deserves to be helping find Jason’s murderer, not when he’d been so adamant to get him out of the picture when he was still alive. If you or Betty or anyone knew about this guilt, he’d be told this wasn’t his fault, that he couldn’t have controlled this happening.

But Archie thinks he could have, that he could have had some part in carrying Jason closer to his death. For Archie’s bitterness toward the Blossom who appeared to be better than him in every way, up to the point of being the one to steal your heart, seemed to have encouraged the universe to take that final step, to finally get Jason out of the way because that’s what Archie wanted, didn’t he?

He did, sure.

But when he said that, he didn’t mean for Jason to die.

He feels like he’s been given three wishes by a genie who screws him over for not wording his requests correctly. And now he’s too frightened to use the remaining two.

———

“Oh, hey, [Name],” Betty starts, drawing everyone’s attention to the entrance of the student lounge, where you’re standing.

Instinctively, Archie gently closes Jughead’s laptop, and the raven-haired boy retracts his fingers from the keyboard quickly. He looks at the redhead confused, but Archie just shakes his head and suddenly Jughead understands. It would be disrespectful to continue writing his novel of which your boyfriend’s murder is the center of conflict while in your presence. Hardly tasteful.

“Hey,” you reply quietly, taking your spot next to Betty.

“So… the wake is this weekend,” Veronica brings up. If there were a tension meter for the student lounge at this very moment, it would have broken at this comment. “How are you holding up?” Her voice is soft, as though any louder and she’ll scare you away, like a fawn in the wild.

Archie holds his breath and he watches you closely, prepared to get up and comfort you or go with you some place private so you can cry and let it all out if you need to. He doesn’t notice he’s biting his lip until he tastes copper in his mouth.

“I’m… doing okay,” you reply with a shrug. “Finding Jason gave at least a little bit of closure.”

Veronica puts a hand on your shoulder and squeezes it comfortingly. Archie meets your eyes from the couch opposite you and he’s transported back to the day you’d been at his house, working on the biology report and asking him if he’s feeling all right and he lies because he doesn't want you to worry. Except now your positions are swapped and while you don’t want him to worry about you either, you don’t have the energy to try to hide from him, so you bare your all to him.

You’re not doing okay.

Which is a statement that seems rather contradictory at the wake. You and Cheryl manage to hold it together rather well, as everyone starts to arrive. Most people only go to the Blossoms to offer their condolences, but you don’t care. You don’t want the attention on you anyway. Your friends are the ones who approach you. The thank you’s you give them are genuine and the hugs you share are warm.

Your stare is aimed down at the ground as you stand off to the side, waiting for the eulogies to begin. You’re not speaking. You’d been offered by Mrs. Blossom, but you would rather just let the family have their time reflecting on a lost son, a lost twin. You see a pair of sneakers in your view, and as your eyes slide up the figure before you, you see the blue and gold letterman before the face of the one it belongs to. You smile as your eyes slide over the name Archie and then you’ve met the gaze of your friend.

He’s smiling sympathetically. “How are you doing?” he asks.

“Hanging in there.” You smile crookedly, trying to keep your tone light. This is a day already so tinged with sadness you don’t want to make it worse.

“Good.” The word is whispered, and Archie opens his arms to you. You take the lone step towards him, your arms curling around his waist and his around your shoulders. He hugs you tightly, rests his chin on your head, mouth open to whisper more words of comfort, but then he closes it because you just need a solid support beam, an anchor, something definite, unlike overused words of sorrow that can lose their meaning from the sheer repetition just like any other words can.

When you inhale, you take in the scent that is distinctly Archie and not Jason and it is a comfort. You don’t cry; you smile with quivering lips and a heart that is gradually being warmed by the fire of another redhead you love just as much and who has also been an important part of your life. Your fingers curl tightly into the material of his letterman as if he’ll turn into air and be lost to you if you don’t keep him close.

Cheryl is the one to break down in front of everybody, clad in her immaculate white dress that is as beautiful as it is haunting. As Veronica goes up to hug her, Archie glances at you to find your cheeks are dry. You feel him staring and you meet his eyes before quickly looking away, which causes him to furrow his brows. He doesn’t have time to dwell on your uncharacteristic action because they are all dismissed for refreshments and when he finds you, you’re already with the others and it’s hardly a subject to be brought up around them.

———

“Hey, Arch, have you seen Betty?”

Said boy turns to look at you as you come to a stop next to him where he’s at his locker. “Um…” he trails off as he opens his backpack. “The editing room for the paper I think. Why?”

“I’m returning that shirt she let me borrow the other week. Thanks.”

Before he can say anything more, you’ve continued down the hall towards the room where The Blue and Gold is written. Archie had been planning to follow after you once he’s gotten the books he needs, but when he truly realizes where you’re going, he starts to rush. “W-Wait, [Name]—” he calls after you, but you’re nowhere in the hallway to hear. He shuts his locker and quickly zips up his backpack, swearing under his breath when his skin gets pinched, but he brushes it off as he slings his backpack onto his shoulder and speed walks toward you, where you’ve already disappeared around the corner.

His stomach drops when he sees you enter the editing room. He runs the rest of the way there and skids to a stop in the doorframe. Betty and Jughead’s eyes are wide like a couple of deer in headlights.

“Um, [Name]—” Betty begins.

“You weren’t supposed to see this…” Jughead comments uneasily, and his eyes slide over to Archie, pleading for help.

You’re frozen in place, staring at the wall upon which a map of the town is tacked, with numerous pictures and names connected by strings of thread. Jason is in the center of it all, and you swallow. “What’s this?” your voice cracks and you already know what you’re looking at but you can’t help but ask it.

Betty takes a deep breath as though preparing to give you an excuse or a reassurance that this isn’t what it looks like, but it is exactly what it looks like and there’s no use in saying otherwise, so she sighs. “We want to find who did this to him, [Name].”

“Oh,” you whisper, blinking back tears.

“None of us wanted you to see it,” Archie states from where he’s still standing in the doorframe. “You didn’t need to deal with this.”

You purse your lips and look at him, then at Betty and Jughead. You want to cry because of multiple things and they’re so jumbled into one big mess that if someone asked why there were tears in your eyes you wouldn't be able to give a definite answer. You want to cry because you’re reminded once more that Jason had been murdered and there is a case to be solved, but you also want to cry because your friends are so determined to figure it out and they are just as determined to make sure you don’t have to deal with more grief than you already are.

“I want to help,” you say shakily.

Jughead blinks, not sure if he heard you correctly. “I… I’m sorry?”

“I want to help.” You’re more resolute the second time.

“[Name]—”

“Archie,” you cut off the redhead but say nothing more, for the expression in your eyes tells him you mean what you said.

Betty smiles slightly. “Only if you’re sure.”

You hesitate a second, but you nod, taking a deep breath to push back your tears. “I am.”

Your back is turned to him but Archie sees you’re standing straight and your shoulders are squared in a show of tenacity and pride swells in his chest as he looks at you because you are so strong. And while you’re not totally back to the way you were before 4th of July weekend, this is a step in the right direction.

———

You’re laughing more these days, and when these instances are studied in isolation, Archie feels like nothing had ever changed. Because right now as he watches you flashing your pearly whites across from him in a booth at Pop’s it feels like a summer night and you’ve retreated into the diner for some cool air because even evenings are warm in Riverdale. Then, you’d be clad in a dress and he would be in his work clothes now dirty from a long day working for his dad on the construction crew.

Now, you’re both bundled in coats and you’ve got a scarf on because the temperature is dropping quickly as fall gives way to winter and you can see sprinklings of snow beginning to descend to earth. And he’s pushing away thoughts of a Blossom recently departed, keeping them behind the glass windows because the chock’lit shop is your little haven where time has come to a standstill and he wants to keep it that way.

As he walks you home in the chill, your breaths materializing as puffs of air that momentarily block your vision, the thoughts and sorrows loom but like your guardian angel he keeps them at bay. He would do anything to keep that smile on your face because it has been sorely missed.

The two of you are reminiscing on the time when you were kids playing catch in his backyard, and he’d thrown the football too high and gotten it stuck in a tree, so he’d had to climb for it, nearly getting himself stuck up there in the process, only for Fred to come outside and witness the struggle, leaves falling off the branches from the redhead’s movements, floating to the ground around your feet.

“You know, I think that was the last time I threw a football,” you comment.

“Maybe you can try again sometime,” Archie suggests. “I remember you had a pretty good arm.”

“It’s been years, Arch. I doubt I have the strength to throw it that far now.”

“I’ll stand close.”

“As in…”

“A few yards away.”

You laugh and shove him lightly. “I’m pretty sure I can throw farther than that!”

Archie raises his hands and laughs. “Hey, you brought it up first, not me.”

“I guess I did.” The two of you walk in a comfortable silence for a few moments, wide smiles on your faces, and you speak again, moving onto a new subject. “I just realized something, Arch.”

Archie smiles as he asks what you’ve just realized, not knowing that the air between you is about to change.

“I never thanked you for being there for me through… through all of this.” You wave your hand because you can’t find the right word.

“Don’t thank me. I wanted to be there.”

“But that’s the thing, Archie. Ronnie and Betty and all of them have been there for me too, but you… you did more than that for me.” At this point you’ve reached your house, and the redhead walks you to your doorstep where the porch light which has been on for the last couple of hours is a little warm. “You gave 150%.”

“Well, Coach says to give it more than your all, no matter what,” Archie jokes.

You chuckle and nod in agreement, then take a good look at your friend. “Really, though. Thank you.”

Archie’s smile devolves from a toothy grin to a fond upturn of the lips. “Of course.” His eyes have dropped down to your own lips, pink and soft under the light, and he’s not sure where the urge to bend down and kiss you comes from, because his feelings have been on the back burner all this time, his primary focus being to offer you a shoulder to cry on. It had worked just fine up until now—now he sees the mirth in your eyes which is familiar and he's reminded all over again that he loves you as more than just his friend.

His heart feels hollow when you duck your head and his lips instead brush over your hair. He follows through with the action anyway, gently kissing your head, a comforting gesture he’s always done to you. And when he pulls away to stand straight, you’re still smiling but it’s more forced and while the street lamps are dim your eyes are just a little bit dimmer.

“Arch…” you whisper.

“I’m sorry,” the redhead apologizes quickly. “I-I didn’t—I shouldn’t have—”

“Yeah, you shouldn’t have.” Your eyes are glassy and Archie is panicking because he fucked up and he wishes he could take it all back but the deed has been done and a few of the stitches weakly holding your heart together have ripped. “Goodnight, Archie.”

He doesn’t say anything, just watches with a heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach as you open the door and retreat inside, where he’s sure you’ve begun to let the tears fall because your glossy eyes that matched your glossy lips are impossible to deny. It’s the first time you refuse to cry in his presence.

As if the long night of restless tossing and turning hadn’t been enough of a reminder to the redhead of his screwup, Betty adds onto it the next morning.

“So how was Pop’s last night with [Name]?” she begins as they walk to school. She’s smiling and expecting a positive answer because you’d been happier lately and so it only makes sense that it was a successful evening.

Archie doesn’t look at her head-on, just keeping his eyes on the sidewalk. “It was good.” He shrugs halfheartedly.

The smile fades from the blonde’s face. “What happened?”

This he really doesn’t want to answer. He breathes deeply and lifts his head, now staring straight ahead. Maybe if he doesn’t say anything she’ll let it go.

“Archie.” But Betty is just like you—she won’t let it go that easily. And the longer he is silent the more her worry grows.

“I tried to kiss her.” He forces the words out and he feels disgusted.

“Wha… you what?” Betty stops walking and Archie sighs heavily as he stops as well and turns to face her. “Archie, she just lost her boyfriend!” Her voice is urgent but hushed because this isn’t a conversation that should be publicized.

“You know what she means to me, Betty, and I tried, I really did, and it was going fine. But…” Archie goes quiet a moment to piece together his thoughts, and Betty waits, arms crossed and hoping that whatever he has to say is worth basically staggering your healing process. “She was just so happy and like her old self again, I just thought… maybe things changed.”

“Things have changed,” Betty explains, “but that doesn’t necessarily mean back to the way things were before. She might not be the same person when she gets better and it isn’t fair to her to be putting her back into a frame like that.”

The guilt has been multiplied ten fold and Archie feels like there is a weight on his shoulders. He already regretted what he did but Betty’s reasoning slides home the fact that he had been stupid to think that you were even remotely ready to throw yourself back into something like that. It had been a selfish move on his part and anger boils in him because while he is a force that can bring you up, give you 150% just to see you smile, he is also capable of tearing that all down without even meaning to. It’s a lot of power for someone who doesn’t know their own strength to hold, and to be given a glass heart to watch over makes the stakes of everything he does that much higher.

“So… you’re going to apologize, right?” Betty inquires once they resume their walk to school.

“If she’ll even look at me.” Walking into Riverdale High School with a cynical attitude isn’t the way Archie had expected to start the day.

They find you talking to Veronica at your locker. Your back is turned to them but Veronica sees them over your shoulder. She smiles widely. “Hey, guys.”

You twist around, smiling as well to greet whoever had approached, but it fades slightly when you see Archie. He smiles sheepishly.

“Uh, hey, Ronnie,” Betty grabs the brunette’s attention. “Do you mind coming with me to my locker? I want some company.”

Veronica’s brows furrow but she doesn’t need to be told twice to follow the blonde, already knowing something is up. She’ll be able to ask on their walk down the hall. That leaves you and Archie alone again, and your smile is gone. You sigh and look up at him expectantly.

“Look, I’m sorry about last night. It was a shitty thing to do.”

“You’re right. It was.” You lean against the cool metal of your locker.

Archie runs a hand through his hair nervously. “That isn’t exactly the way I expected you to find out about my feelings.”

“How long?”

This prompts the redhead to avoid your eyes. The question requires no further details. “A while.”

“Even when…”

“Yeah.”

You nod slowly, digesting that information. Archie slowly looks back at you, wondering if you see him in a different light now. He hopes not. Because he’s still your friend and in that way you’re connected. If you didn’t want anything to do with him romantically, that was fine. He can learn to live without acting on those feelings. It would be difficult but it could be done. He just can’t lose you completely. If he did, he’d hate himself even more.

You purse your lips. “I’m not ready for something like that.”

“I know. I was wrong to assume you were.”

“I don’t hate you.”

“I know.”

There’s a small smile on your face and Archie’s body floods with relief. “Thanks for understanding.”

The redhead nods and smiles back, and you progress through the day like usual.

———

You sit at the desk in the editing room, head in your propped up hand as you stare at the wall showcasing all the clues in Jason’s murder. You see the pictures and the names but you don't process anything more than that. Your mind is elsewhere.

When Archie had tried to kiss you, a part of you wanted to meet him in the middle. He had always given you his all, and you realized the true scope of that statement last night, when he’d offered you his heart and you didn’t take it. You would have liked to, but it’s hard.

It is so difficult when you still dream of Jason and hope that when you get a phone call it’s him on the other end. You’re conflicted about letting anyone else so close to you like that when you still call his phone or text him only to get a notification that his number has been disconnected but you still call it because maybe if you do it enough times he’ll pick up and tease you for being so eager to talk to him when really it had only been a few hours.

But it’s been months and you haven’t heard that beautiful voice since and while you’re doing your best to preserve it in your memories, it’s fading because so much time has passed and you have your other friends to be moving forward with.

You feel like you’re betraying Jason by considering leaving him in the past. Since the day he’d been declared dead, your heart had become your own again, and you’re trying to give it to a person who isn’t even around anymore. You’d thought that when you gave it to Jason it was his forever, just as his was yours. You’d felt so guilty when at his wake you’d briefly entertained the thought that maybe you do feel something for Archie too, so you could look neither at his casket nor into Archie’s eyes upon such a realization.

You grab your phone and scroll through it before finding the number you were searching for. You dial it, then resume your study of the wall across from you.

Three beeps. “We’re sorry. You have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service.”

Archie had checked the student lounge, and you weren’t there, nor had any of the others in there seen you. The only other place you could be now is the editing room. So he goes over there, but when he sees you on the phone, he suppresses his greeting.

You look at him as walks in and smile slightly, hanging up and tucking your phone back in your pocket. “Hey.”

“Hey. Important call?”

You shake your head. “No. Not important.”

Maybe today signals the first day of the rest of your life, with Jason in the past, not forgotten, but remembered and loved greatly. And he will always have a place in your heart, a place that right now hurts, but that you hope with time will make you nostalgic and happy about the time you spent with your Jason Blossom, short as it might have felt. But some time is better than none at all.

———

At first Archie doesn’t realize that his recent songs have all been written with you in mind, which is a little surprising considering, well, you’re such a large part of his life. But one day while he runs through one of them he notices that it reminds him of you, and then as he keeps going he concludes that it is you he’s singing about. You really have overtaken his entire being, have become his muse without meaning to but they do say to write about the universe and make it personal and you are his universe.

Out of the few songs he’s written inspired by you, he chooses just one to focus on for the time being, to make it truly great. He could stretch his creativity across them all, or he could pour his heart into a single one. He chooses the latter route. And so it becomes his focus for days, and those days turn into weeks. He writes a song you don’t know exists yet because when you’re around and he’s working on his music, he works on other songs you’ve heard before and that in no way allude to being about you.

The incident after dinner at Pop’s that one night has been long forgotten, and honestly Archie is enjoying your company as a friend so much that it’s okay that he's still waiting for anything more. You said you weren’t ready and he’ll honor that. He values your friendship over anything else.

But recently he’s noticed that when you look at him it’s fond, and not in a way best friends look at each other. He recognizes the softness in your eyes which has never been directed at him before. It had only been reserved for Jason and Archie wonders if he’s paranoid and misinterpreting the way you gaze at him, in the hopes of wanting to move onto something more. Because you never say anything more, do anything more, that lets him know what you want for sure. And he wants to err on the side of caution after that train wreck of a night a while ago that he was so sure was about to cost your friendship.

He likes to think he knows you better than that, though, that he can read you after all these years of knowing you, and that part shouldn’t have changed. So the morning after he does a final run through of the song you inspired and decides it’s perfect, he brings up the subject he and Betty hadn’t discussed in a while because there hadn’t been a need to.

“I’m… thinking of trying again, Betty.”

Betty looks up at her friend, but he’s not looking at her. He’s looking straight ahead as they walk home from school. “Like… as in…”

“Yeah.”

“I’m not sure, Archie…”

“She looks at me differently,” Archie explains. “I don’t know how to describe it other than… that’s how she looked at Jason.”

The blonde sighs, not so convinced. “Maybe you’re just imagining things.”

“I’d like to think I know her well enough.” The redhead’s eyes are pleading for Betty’s approval. She’s always been the voice of reason.

Betty sighs and smiles a little. “I guess me telling you to move on would be pointless, huh?”

“I’m not letting this go. I’m not letting her go.”

“You sound just like her,” Betty remarks, but then she nods. “All right. What were your plans?”

“Dinner at my place?”

“You two always have dinner at your place. That’s hardly special.”

“I was hoping you’d help me out, actually…”

———

Archie asking you to have dinner at his place isn’t out of the ordinary, but him telling you to dress nicely is.

“It’s just your house, Archie, I always go over in sweatpants and a hoodie,” you joke.

Your friend laughs. “I know… But just tonight. Please?”

You can never say no to those eyes. You roll your own playfully. “Fine.”

Archie kisses your head. “Thank you.”

Friday night is here before you know it, and you’re standing on the doorstep of the Andrews household in a quaint dress, hands clutched nervously in front of you because you have an inkling of what to expect but at the same time you don’t want to jump to conclusions.

Archie opens the door and he’s clad in slacks and a button-up which stretches across his chest and broad shoulders. He’s smiling and is about to greet you but when he sees you there in your dress and your dolled up hair (which Veronica had done for you, and she wouldn’t have let you leave your house otherwise), he feels like the wind is knocked out of him and he changes what he’s going to say.

“You look really nice.” He wants to smack himself for how dumb that sounded.

“You did say to dress nicely,” you tease, but your cheeks are warm as you’re subject to his gaze.

Archie laughs nervously. “I did say that, yeah…” As if suddenly remembering where he was and what he was doing, he opens the door wider and stands to the side to give you space. “Come in.”

You murmur a thanks as you step inside, and the atmosphere in the house feels… different. You can’t place your finger on why. Maybe it’s the way you’re dressed or the way Archie looked at you when he opened the door, the split second of true admiration and genuine emotion that is impossible to hide because it’s subconscious. Said boy leads you to the dining room and you stop short in the doorframe when you see the way the table is set.

“Archie?” you ask quietly. “What’s this?”

Archie stands in front of the dining table as if presenting a prized possession at show-and-tell, hands clasped behind his back. “It’s dinner.”

“Dinner for us is usually a pizza.”

“I wanted to try something different tonight. It’s not bad is it?”

“No.” You laugh. “No, it looks amazing. But… where’s your dad?” You look around, noticing that you hadn’t been greeted by Fred like you usually are when you traipse in here.

“He’s hanging out with a friend tonight. He’s gonna be out late, so… it’s just us.”

Your heart melts at the nervousness apparent in Archie’s face. “I think it looks incredible, Archie. Did you do this all yourself?”

Archie smiles sheepishly as he helps seat you, pushing your chair in as you sit down, before he walks around to the other side to sit across from you. “Um, no…” He runs a hand through his hair. “Betty helped a little.”

You raise a brow.

“Okay, she helped a lot.”

This gets another laugh from you. “So… I won’t get food poisoning by eating this right?”

“I know how to cook, [Name],” Archie defends himself with a pout, and you laugh louder.

“Just teasing.” It’s your favorite food, so you’re excited to start eating. And it does taste good. It definitely beats having pizza or Chinese takeout. Even though the type of food you’re eating and the clothes you’re wearing are different, your conversation is still the same—relaxed, casual, joking. None of that would change with your very evident developing feelings. You’re friends before anything else after all.

When the two of you have migrated to the lounge so you can pull up Netflix to find a movie to watch, Archie speaks up.

“So I finished a new song recently.”

Your eyes light up and your attention fully shifts to him. “You did?” You love to hear about how his music is going, love to hear him sing and work because it’s like a magician doing magic—you’re absolutely enraptured. Even when he’s in the rough parts of the songwriting process and there are times when a chord is wrong or a couple of lines don't rhyme properly or his voice cracks because a misjudgment in pitch causes him to go too high and so he’ll need to adjust that, you love to watch. His songs are brilliant and they come from the soul but these little peeks into his writing process shows you that every song he’s pieced together has started in a rough patch, and these things can never be done perfectly the first time around.

Archie smiles at the joy in your eyes. “Yeah. I’ll play it for you.” He grabs his guitar he has sitting in a stand next to the couch and you readjust yourself, turning your body so you can watch him as he plays. You wait with bated breath and Archie hesitates for a second, because when he sings this song there is no turning back. So he glances at you, and you smile reassuringly, and a part of him would rather be performing for an audience of a hundred people than just performing for you because there is so much more weight to singing to an audience of one, especially when that one is probably the most special person of all.

Your tender smile is an encouragement and so before he has anymore second thoughts, he starts to play, and it’s like you’re in a trance, eyes trained on the way his fingers form chords along the neck and how beautiful it sounds. When he starts to sing, your smile widens because he sounds perfect, and you’re so concentrated on the sound itself that you don’t fully register the words at first. But when you do, you realize that it’s unmistakably, undeniably about you. Archie is singing about you, and his eyes are closed because he’s so focused on the feeling and he is pouring his soul out to you in a way he never has before.

You swallow hard and your eyes go down to the ground, listening to the words and his admission of just how much he loves you that he’s strung together with a melody because it feels more natural to him to sing than to just speak. Tears pool in the corners of your eyes before you know what’s happening and there’s more than one reason for their presence. One is that the song is beautiful, it’s incredible, more accurately. Archie is a gifted songwriter and you wish you had been imbued with skills like that but if it had to go to anyone else you’re glad it went to him.

The other reason is that as much as you’re trying not to, you’re thinking about Jason again, truly considering if it’s time to move on. This song is signaling a change in your relationship with Archie, because you do feel the same way and it is something of which you’re so sure but at the same time you’re struggling with the idea of handing your heart to someone else. You’ve battled with the idea that one day you would need to keep going forward and you had resolved that if you gave it to anyone else it would be Archie, but now that it’s coming time to do that, you’re not sure if you have the strength to follow through.

When the redhead finishes his song, he’s not expecting you to be avoiding his eyes, and he can see your lips quivering and he’s panicking again, like the night on your doorstep he tried to kiss you and you turned away.

“[Name]…?” he starts uneasily.

You bite your lip and look at him, forcing a smile on your face because you genuinely enjoyed his song and his talent but there are so many thoughts swirling through your mind it’s overwhelming and that’s why you’re crying.

“Did I—”

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong, Archie,” you cut him off, voice cracking. “The song was amazing.”

“Then what’s the matter?” he asks softly, setting his guitar off to the side so he can scoot closer to you. He slowly brings a hand up to your face, to cup your cheek gently, and you don’t pull away. The tears start to fall then and he uses his thumb to wipe them away before engulfing you in a giant bear hug the likes of which you always love when he gives because it makes you feel safe.

“I want to move on but it’s so hard, Arch,” you confess, sobbing into his button-up and wrinkling the fabric with the way you dig your fingers into the material but he doesn’t care. “I don’t want to lose you too.”

Archie pulls away to look you in the eyes so you can see the sincerity in them. “I’m not going anywhere, [Name], I promise.”

“You can’t promise that,” you whisper and shake your head before another sob escapes you. “Jason promised the same thing.”

Archie’s heart breaks into a tiny million pieces and he doesn’t have anything else to say. There is nothing to say. So he pulls you in again, hugging you tightly and nuzzling his face in your hair and doing his best not to cry too because he wants to reassure you that he truly, genuinely will not leave you, but when faced with the untimely death of Jason Blossom he doesn’t know how to set about proving that to you, or if he’ll ever be able to.

“I just need you to trust me,” he tells you, turning his head and resting his cheek on your head as he rubs your back. “Please.” Like many times before, you feel so close to him yet so far away but this is the closest yet and you are within his grasp and if he can’t hold on he doesn’t know what he’ll do with himself or where to go from here.

“You can’t let him hold you back. He’d want you to move on,” Archie reasons softly, fingers running through your hair. “He’d hate seeing you suffer like this.”

You slowly pull back and when you look at Archie, that’s exactly who you see. You see the red hair and the soft eyes but you don’t see Jason Blossom. You see Archie Andrews and he loves you and and your heart aches but it’s slowly being repaired by the boy in front of you whom you love so much. And he’s right: Jason wouldn’t want to be the one keeping you from the rest of your life. Guilt had eaten away at you, making you think it was a betrayal to move on from Jason, but you know him the next best, just after Cheryl, and you’d been too deep in grief to believe your own judgment. It was a punishment to yourself for not being able to fix the situation, to save him, even though at the end of the day nothing could be done on your part, and you were just as powerless as anyone else despite Jason meaning something very different to you than to a majority of them.

Archie sets his hands on your face so he can wipe the lingering tears away and all at once something in you changes and the floodgates close and you smile but it’s not with quivering lips. You set your hands atop his own. “Okay,” you whisper, and it’s steady, a testament to your resolve that you are moving forward and you’ll let Archie lead you. You’d rather no one else be the one to do that.

He smiles widely, teeth showing, practically in disbelief that this is happening and this isn’t just another hypothetical situation that he’s fallen asleep thinking about on more than one occasion. He almost thinks he’s dreaming but your smile is so real and he would never be able to accurately imagine the tenderness in your eyes nor could he deny the way his vision blurs because he still feels like crying but for a complete different reason.

And when he sets his lips on yours, it is the best kiss he’s ever had. Your own lips are salty from your tears and it makes his heart twist both with sorrow for what you’ve had to endure but also with all the love he will give you, has been giving you, to try to overshadow that. You feel perfect in his hold and one of his hands slides down to your thigh, where his fingers press gently into your skin, dips along the soft expanse a scene to rival Bernini’s Proserpina because life imitates art and Archie considers you to be a chef d’oeuvre of the highest regard. He is a curator and you are the single masterpiece in his collection, one at which he will marvel at tirelessly, and as if he is seeing you for the first time all over again.

#archie andrews #archie andrews imagine #riverdale #riverdale imagine #bubble-tea-bunny

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