#guess they're ALL gonna be a bit bittersweet

[birinboom]

14 Days of Cupid's Arrow - Day 2: Best way to a person's heart is through their stomach!

Which one between you and your fave is a foodie? Only one? Both of you? Who's cooking for who? Will the two of you cook for each other?

Em, my love

The house feels so empty without ya here. Yuzu keeps searchin’ for ya. She sleeps on your spot on the couch, lotsa kneadin’ your blanket before settlin’ in. It’s one of the only times I hear her purr these days. We both want ya home with us.

Are ya makin’ sure to eat well? Ya can’t be too picky, even while workin’ abroad. You’ve done such a good job broadenin' your horizons, so no backslidin’! Don't ya forget to cook for yourself some nights even if I’m not there to handle the knife work.

I miss cookin’ with ya. Listenin’ to ya singin’ along with the radio. Surprisin’ ya with a new Japanese dish and seein’ your cute face scrunch up in delight. Or doubt. Can’t always tell which it is... 

I wanna eat your rice porridge again. I still can’t get it right; it comes out chewy even when usin' the rice cooker. But I’m too much of a fraidy-cat to cook it in the bed like ya do. Damn your viking cookin' methods.

Love ya so much,

Soshiro

[kirbyluvr63]

need f1 fanfic recs

im SO fucking glad you asked!

im gonna give you some of my favs here and youll kinda notice a pattern, i guess! im about to expose my whole psyche in front of you.

first, one of my favorite ships is maxiel! but i particularly love anything that explores daniel's character specifically, so my first rec is an entry on Daniel Ricciardo's Internalized Homophobia Fic Fest!

heart's a mess by nunnit - just a great character study of internalized homophobia and trying to no-homo your way out of your own life until you lose the one guy you really loved. warning: there's a bittersweet ending! ships: Jenson Button/Daniel Ricciardo; Cyril Abiteboul/Daniel Ricciardo; Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen; Daniel Ricciardo/Blake Friend; Daniel Ricciardo/OMC

Montreal Bounds by ellipsis99 - this one has a happy ending! daniel's in a complicated relationship with a guy who has a girlfriend and max makes him reconsider a bunch of stuff. ships: Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen; Daniel Ricciardo/Scotty James; (brief Max Verstappen/Pierre Gasly)

pale green things by yekoc - historical fiction set during the tulip fever where jos is a rich tulip trader that commissions daniel to paint a portrait of max for his fiancee. yekoc is a GREAT author, i recommend anything by them! ships: Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen

glory, from a high rise by yekoc - speaking of, another BANGER from yekoc. daniel works at a bar and max is a neurotic alcoholic office worker who's also horny as all hell. there's some commitment issues involved as well. it's perfect. ships: Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen

honorable mentions:

a body wishes to be held and held by CamilleDuDemon

All We Knew of Home by LoveLeah

mon voisin by kitversuskat

now, my second favorite ship, my actual favorite drivers on the grid and the ones i cheer for: galex! <3

table in the back by crescenteluce - if you love miscommunication you'll love this one, the dialogue is so precise like you can clearly see how one would misinterpret what the other is saying and at the same time you get why the other person didn't even realize a misunderstanding happened aaaaaaarrrrgghhhh it's a bit infuriating too but so so good. ships: George Russell/Alex Albon

footnote in someone else's happiness by finedae - in this one george and alex kind of have a fucked up relationship... they break up so george can date women and fit in the box expected of him, but stays in touch with alex and alex has to, as the author put it themselves, keep things real. ships: George Russell/Alex Albon

ode to a conversation stuck in your throat by prettyrotten - this ones also crazy good and revolves around miscommunication.. i guess this is my favorite trope for them for some reason. george humiliates himself to keep his relationship with alex who just decides how george feels and makes things shitty for everyone. must warn you that i almost cried with this one, very angsty, but with a happy ending! ships: George Russell/Alex Albon

honorable mentions:

take care of you (take care of me) by ginnydear

Strike a Pose by amphibiangeorgerussell

carry you home (orphan work)

another ship that i adore is charlos! their dynamic is very interesting to me... between them and between ferrari and also i just like carlos and want to study him under a microscope. can't wait to find out how his chemistry will play out with alex once they're teammates tbh

In for a penny, in for a pound by chiliconcarlos - this one's the quintessential charlos fic; a required reading, if you will. charles gets drunk and hires an escort to accompany him at a wedding so he doesn't show up alone in front of his ex. he thinks he hired a female escort, but then carlos shows up and... the rest is history. just a very very good fic. ships: Carlos Sainz Jr/Charles Leclerc

the same as all those men by almondmilkk - idk about you but i'm obsessed with cowboys and this is THE cowboy au... carlos has a lot of repressed feelings and internalized homophobia and charles just doesn't give a fuck anymore, it's glorious. ships: Carlos Sainz Jr/Charles Leclerc

my blood is singing with your voice (the saints can't help me now) by choripan - if you like catholic guilt, this one's for you! there's a lot of religious imagery in this one and it's just... chef's kiss. charles and carlos meet at an abandoned church while on vacation at mallorca with their respective families. ships: Carlos Sainz Jr/Charles Leclerc

honorable mentions:

semiotic study by linearity

says he's gonna teach me just what fast is by foggystars

can't sleep 'til I feel your touch by chiliconcarlos

and now.... for my most deranged ship: george and lance. "WTF??" you may ask, and i say "don't knock it till you try it!" think of it this way: george is stuck up and hates himself a little and lance is just there and doesn't give a fuck and is the pillowest of princesses. unfortunately few see the vision so there isn't much, but i can't recommend enough Lesson Learned by bottomtxt who's also one of my favorite fanartist here on tumblr and the one who opened my eyes to this AMAZING ship dynamic! finger trap by rivalism is my other recommendation for this criminally underrated ship!

and this is it! i hope you'll enjoy it

ps.: sorry for taking a while but as you can see i was taking this very seriously and i had some college stuff to get done at the same time etc etc... feel free to keep talking to be about it, tho :)

[waitingandwishing]

(Cross posted on tumblr and AO3)

Prev - Next Chapter

"Y/N... You haven't aged a bit." Y/N heard Allison's voice. She turned to see her other sister wearing a blue top and... Her hair had been bleached?

"Nice to see you again, Allison." Y/N smiled.

"You as well, sister." Allison came to the porcelain girl and gave her a tight hug. Y/N breathed in and out, she was slightly nervous to see all of her family members. As Y/N let go, Allison peaked her head out to see Vanya. “Vanya? You’re actually here.” Allison walked up to the shorter woman.

“Hey, Allison.” Vanya said quietly.

“Hey, sis.” Allison said, the both of them standing awkwardly in front of each other before the actress chuckled softly and gave Vanya a tight squeeze.

“Ah… What is she doing here?” Diego asked as he walked past Vanya and Allison. Y/N scrunched her face before rolling her eyes, “You don’t belong here, not after what you did?”

“You came in through the window upstairs?” Y/N asked.

“Yes, I did.” Diego smirked before patting Y/N on the back, “Good to see you, Y/N.”

“Nice to see you too, Gogo.” Y/N said jokingly as Diego scoffed at the nickname.

“You’re seriously gonna do this today?” Allison asked her brother as he walked up the grand stairway, “Way to dress for the occasion by the way.”

“At least I’m wearing black.”

“We all know dad doesn’t deserve respect at his funeral.” Y/N said.

“You know what? I- Maybe he’s right.” Vanya doubted herself, “I shouldn’t be-”

“Forget about him. I’m glad you’re here.” Allison reassured her. Y/N put a hand on Vanya’s shoulder.

“He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” Y/N said with a smile, “You’re a part of our family, whether he likes it or not.”

Allison left to go up to Reginald’s office and Y/N and Vanya wandered into the parlor, passing by the old newspaper articles and magazine covers that depicted Y/N and the others - of course with the exception of Vanya.  

Vanya glanced wistfully at the group photos before turning to the book shelf, and her hand brushed the dark cover of a book. She turned the book over to see her own face on the back cover. "Did you ever read it?" she quietly asked. Her shoulders were hunched and had her gloomy frown on.

"It was... Sad." Y/N said, staring at it with a bittersweet look in her eyes. "Knowing how you felt probably felt like a punch in the face for everyone else. And knowing that the truth was set in their faces also felt like a kick to the gut... Vanya, if I had known that you were feeling that way then I would've-"

"Y/N, it's fine." Vanya smiled slightly.

"Well, other than feeling guilty, I suppose the book was also nice." Y/N smiled, “It was the truth. And you’re right, that trait was always my downfall.”

Vanya nodded, still hesitant but clearly a bit relaxed. "The others certainly don't feel the same way, they've made that much clear."

"It'll take much more than the truth to make me hate you." Y/N nudged her shoulder, "They're all great, but you're one of my number one favorites."

She laughed in response. "So you really don't mind the book?" she timidly asked.

"They hate you because you told the truth. That's why they're so defensive about it" Y/N shrugged, "People always get defensive when they're told the truth."

"People always say the truth hurts."

"A lot of things hurt. There are worse things than being told you were a bad father." Y/N smiled, "Doesn't matter since he's dead but... I think you'll be the most memorable of us all."

"Really?"

"Yep! I can already picture it, 'Vanya: Spilling the secrets of Umbrella Academy'." Y/N turned to her with a smile, "I'd have to say that you're probably the only one who can have a normal life. And... that’s pretty lucky I suppose."

"Yeah... I guess I can..." Vanya smiled wistfully, “You’ve always made all of us feel better.”

“Maybe that’s my superpower.” Y/N joked.

"Miss Vanya, so glad to see you here again," A familiar voice said warmly to the woman beside Y/N as she approached the talking monkey and embraced him. When they broke apart, he noticed the book in her hand. "I see you've found your book."

"Did... Did Dad ever... Y'know, read it?" Vanya asked.

Pogo thought for a minute. "I couldn't say with utmost certainty.”

She nodded and glanced at the giant painting above the fireplace. She sighed and turned to Y/N, "How long has it been since Five left?"

Pogo looked at Y/N. "Sixteen years, four and a half months." She said. Vanya gave Y/N a pointed look, to which she shrugged.

"It's not like I've been counting. It's just... There's really nothing else to do." Y/N frowned, looking at the portrait of Five. When he went missing, Y/N cried for a few days. And then ‘died’ two months afterward. Wow, looking back, her life was kind of shitty.

"Y'know, I would leave the lights on for him when we were little, in case he ever came back." Vanya sighed. "I worried that he wouldn't be able to find us if the lights weren't on and that he'd run off again. I would leave him little sandwiches too," she added, smiling wistfully, "And then on the nights that I couldn't, Y/N would do it."

"Yes, indeed," Pogo replied, smiling as well. "I recall happening upon quite a few of those. I would end up washing peanut butter and marshmallow fluff off of my slippers for hours. Miss Y/N used to sleepwalk and step on them as well."

"Ugh, I still remember the feeling." Y/N sighed.

"Sir Hargreeves always waited for him," Pogo added. "He never stopped believing he'd return."

" Didn't do much for him," the short brunette mumbled.

Eventually, the six of them met in the main hall. They all sat awkwardly apart, choosing to keep to themselves for a while. The ragged individual whom Y/N identified as Klaus was in the back at the bar, most likely pouring himself some mind-numbing, hangover-inducing concoction.

Allison sat quietly drinking what looked like rum by the fire, with Diego across from her. Luther sat across from Y/N and Vanya on a couch, her leaning in towards the girl for a bit for comfort. 

For a long time, no one spoke. It felt like hours upon hours of simply staring at each other, examining how each sibling had changed - some had quite obviously changed more than others. 

Y/N hadn't seen any of the others for years, but apparently some of them had met up at Allison's wedding to some guy she knew as "Patrick." Whether Allison was still slightly salty for Y/N not coming to her wedding, she'd never know.

Finally, Luther stood and cleared his throat.  "We should kick this thing off," He said with uncertainty. "I was thinking about holding a little memorial service, nothing huge... Out in the courtyard when the sun's setting. Maybe we say a few words in Dad's old favorite spot."

"Since when did he have a favorite spot?" Allison asked.

"It was near that oak tree," He said quickly. She frowned a bit. "The two of us used to go there all the time... Didn't you guys do that too?"

"Not... Not all of us." Y/N said quietly.

"Are there gonna be any snacks?" Klaus asked, walking over with a generous amount of alcohol in his large cup and a lit cigarette in his hand. "Simple things, like tea? Maybe some biscuits or those cute little sandwiches." He plopped down next to me.

Luther's face scrunched up. "Klaus, this isn't a- hey, hey! Stop smoking! Dad didn't want us doing that in here!"

Allison interrupted, "Klaus, are you wearing my skirt?" Y/N looked down and sure enough, Allison's skirt was around Klaus' waist.

"Oh yeah, I found this lying about," He replied. "It's certainly not in season, but it offers some nice... Ventilation." Y/N chuckled slightly as Klaus looked at the porcelain girl in shock, "Y/N? Oh... You're back!" Klaus giggled and gave me a big hug. Y/N savored it, even though he smelled like smoke and literally every drug in the world.

"Missed you too, Klausy." Y/N chuckled.

"Oh man, at least another insane person's with me." Klaus sighed.

"Guys, knock it off," Luther said over the duo’s small exchange. "There's still a lot of stuff we have to talk about."

Diego stood up challengingly, "Such as?"

Luther rolled his eyes, "Maybe like how Dad died?"

He sat back down, "Oh, jeez."

"Wasn't it a heart attack? At least, I think that's what the coroner said," Vanya replied.

"Sure, but that's what the coroner said," Luther replied.

"Wouldn't a coroner know this kind of stuff?" Allison asked. "I mean, in theory."

Luther sighed, seeming to grow more and more exasperated as time went by. "I'm just saying, something weird was going on." After witnessing everyone's doubtful looks, he added, "The last time Dad and I talked, he sounded kind of... Off."

"And that's such a surprise, why?" Klaus exclaimed sarcastically.

"What do you mean?" Allison asked.

"He just didn't sound like himself; He told me to watch who I trust, to stay on guard." Luther explained.

Diego groaned, standing up again. "Luther, he was a hateful, testy old man who was whatever senses he had left."

"That's not it," Luther insisted. "He had to have known something was going to happen to him." He glanced at you. "Y/N, she probably saw something! I mean, she visited him just about three months ago!"

"He was just as distant as he always was." Y/N said, crossing her arms. "I came for repairs my repairwoman couldn’t do but that’s it."

Luther sighed, turning to Klaus, "I know you haven't done it in a while, but we need you to get Dad over here." Allison scoffed from across the way.

Klaus leaned forward in his seat. "It's not like wishing on stars or something," he sputtered. "I can't just call him up in the great hereafter like, 'Dad, stop playing croquet with Hitler and Ivan the Terrible and pick up my call!'"

"Why not? That's literally your ability," Luther countered.

"I'm not in the proper mindset for something like this!"

" You mean you're under some kind of influence," Allison stated.

"Of course! How are the rest of you not drunk off of his delusions?"

"Then get into the right mindset," Luther insisted. "This is serious. We also need to find Dad's monocle."

Diego turned. "Why would anyone care about that dusty old thing - and I'm not talking about Dad."

" That's my point. The monocle is useless to anyone else, so this must have been something personal!"

Klaus frowned. "Where exactly is this conversation going?"

"Can't you tell, Klaus?" Diego rounded on the burly male. "He thinks the murderer is right here in the room."

He stood there awkwardly until Klaus spoke up in awe, "You're not kidding."

"I have a question.” Y/N interrupted. Everyone looked to the girl as she crossed her legs and looked up at Luther.

Her eyes stared into his soul, giving him an uncanny vibe. “If it was one of us, what exactly would you do?” Luther stayed silent and Y/N took that as a sign to continue, “Would you… Enact revenge? Kill us? Either way that won’t change that the old man is dead. Why are we still letting him control our lives even when he’s gone?!”

Everyone stayed silent and Y/N stood up to face Luther, “If dad’s validation was so important to you, then remember, he wanted us to be a team. He wanted us to trust each other and the fact that you’re insinuating that one of us killed him means that he failed. We shouldn’t even call him dad! He used us as tools. We’ve all faced the truth, the real question is, have you faced it?”

Everyone stayed silent before Klaus clapped, “I think Y/N should be a lawyer.” Her said and Vanya sighed. 

Luther watched as everyone exited the parlor room, the tension even thicker now that Luther brought up the idea of Reginald being murdered.

"Hey, you know how Luthur is. He's just..." Vanya's voice trailed off, “You were great back there. I don’t know how you can just come up with stuff like that.

"I’ve been thinking back on our childhood ever since you made that book. And I realize that…” Y/N flexed her hand as it clinked together, “We weren’t raised to be people.”

A loud rumbling of thunder interrupted Y/N’s moment with Vanya. The lights flickered and her and Vanya looked at each other curiously. Y/N turned to Vanya. "C'mon."

The two of them met up with Diego as he was heading out towards the courtyard. The rest of our siblings filed out behind us and were all met with a wavering blue vortex. "What is that?" Vanya yelled.

Allison grabbed her arm. "Don't get too close!"

"No shit!" Diego sarcastically hollered.

Luther shouldered his way to the front. "It looks like some temporal anomaly. Either that or a miniature black hole, one of the two."

"That's a pretty big difference, Paul Bunyan."

"Get outta the way!" Lurching past the group, Klaus hurled a big red fire extinguisher at the anomaly.

"What is that gonna do?" shrieked Allison.

"I don't know, do you have a better idea?" He retorted. A sound something like lightning or thunder - maybe even a combination, sounded off, and sent Klaus scurrying backwards into me.

"Everyone get behind me," Luther boomed.

Diego shouldered him, "Yeah, get behind us."

Klaus screeched, "I vote for running, c'mon!" He tried to grab Y/N's arm, but she gripped his wrist and anchored him in place. Someone that looked like an old man pressed against the blue vortex, the figure melting into a much younger one as he fell to the ground.

As the male came through, the vortex faded, and so did the crashes of thunder that came with it.

The six of them approached the boy - who was wearing clothes much too big for him - when Klaus opened his mouth. "Does anyone else see little Number Five, or is that just me?"

The male in question looked at the group, then down at himself, and then looked back up. He made eye contact with Y/N as she peered out from behind the lean body of Klaus. "Shit," Five mumbled.

[the-reaping-lamb]

Quick stuff to get you on track for the AU:

-The Lamb remains dead, they aren't resurrected. Think of them as like, a phantom that can switch between worlds at anytime?

-Lambert still serves TOWW, but instead of being his vessel, he's instead a "Reaper".

-In this AU, his job is to essentially hunt down followers of the Old Faith instead of "converting" them into TOWW's cult. By doing so under the will of Death (Narinder), they are sent to Narinder himself, in which they are forced into servitude under him to gain their rite of passage to the afterlife. None of the followers who are killed are allowed to resurrect back.

-In addition to hunting down the bishops' followers, he's also tasked with collecting the souls of the wandering and delivering them to the afterlife

-The "Wandering Souls" are essentially people who were killed unjustly due to their devotion to Narinder or because they remained neutral in terms of religion. They are delivered straight to the afterlife where they are reunited with their loved ones, and are allowed to pass on quietly if they wish. Passing on is essentially the act of having their souls dissipate from the plane of existence

-They tried their hand at running a cult before becoming a reaper, but after a tragedy hit and all their followers died (their poor, innocent, beloved followers...) they decided that the cultist life was not for them. (Guilt, guilt, guilt...) so Narinder gave them a chance at something else different, that he thinks they'd be much better at. He's much more content with the life (or lack thereof) that he has now

-This version of Lambert is extremely jaded. There is a heavy weariness that follows them everywhere despite the fact they don't need sleep, and it weighs on them. Especially the first time he went to collect the souls of the members of his cult group.

-Narinder is happy to accommodate the Lamb's newfound vengeance streak + relieved that someone's able to collect any of the wandering souls that don't make it back to him. But he DOES feel a bit of remorse when he sees the Lamb looking so.... quiet. Like that

-Arguably the only time the Lamb smiles is probably when they're in the heat of battle, in which they're chopping away at people's heads with a manic grin

LAMB'S DESIGN:

-I wanted him to contrast Narinder and still reference canon Lamb's designs. So in some way, he still has his cloak, but it's made to hang off one shoulder instead of both.

-He doesn't bear the crown anymore, but that doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't use powers associated to Narinder. He IS his devoted Reaper after all. So instead of directly using Narinder's power, he uses the Sin that accumulates in people's bodies to fuel his strength

-Narinder has all his eyes showing, right? So I figured, I'm gonna make Lambert have his own eyes covered (or eyeHOLES, haha! Get it? Cuz he's actually eyeless as a Reaper? Haha! Fucked up!)

-If you look closely at the 1st fanart, you'll notice that there's a sliver of space between his head and neck- that's where he was first killed, actually. When he was still running the cult, he had it covered with the collar + bell, but when he became the Reaper, he proceeded to forgo the thing entirely

-Can you guess what his favorite weapon is? (Cuz I can't, it sucks) it's an axe! Ironic, considering he was killed with one- oooohhh wait, that's why he's using it, huh? :>

-He gets some sort of bittersweet, sick and sadistic joy from chopping people's heads off. It's 100% associated with his trauma from getting killed the same way. He likes to make sure his axe isn't nearly as sharp, so he can take his sweet time while still making sure it's as painful as possible

-He can visit his flock in the afterlife! They don't recognize him though, he lost them as a baby and he's been wandering since then. His family are expecting a scared young man to approach them, so they aren't aware of what he's become. He keeps it that way, and approaches them not as "their youngest" but as "TOWW's most devout servant". They're always staring at them longingly with a distant look

-If the Lamb is smiling, it usually means something REAAAALLY fucked up happened (that is 9 times out of 10 entirely his doing) because he just..... doesn't smile?? And it's fuckin creepy when he does it, jfc

[afternoonblues]

finally after almost 2 weeks, i've finished re-watching the raven of inner palace anime, re-read the first 5 volumes of the LN & completed the last and final 2 volumes. thus, concluding the whole series. (now, spoilers ahead!)

this is gonna be a long, a very much selfish ramble because i have so many things to say and so many feelings to feel so i just want to take things slowly and try to as carefully as possible articulate, for me to look back. i will probably talk about many characters along with the ones i had already mentioned during my first read of the vol. 1-5 during march of this year.

first of all, i didn't really expect that the inevitable sadness i felt while reading this story for the first time would resurface again. i almost deluded myself into thinking that i would easily skim through the 5 vols without much hesitations but...i was wrong. every single feelings rose up like steam from the hidden corners of my memory. but not just that, i could also additionally learn more about certain characters like senri, shiki, yozetsu and even eisei.

at certain parts of the story, i felt like i was reading again for the first time, feeling conflicted about certain characters like hakurai, shiki, banka (for example, why would she do that? why would she tell her father about jusetsu's secret even after all that knowing contemplations?) and her brothers but later as more pages were turned and we move along with the story, i understand her perspective and later, in the last two vols, her brothers too. it was serene how everything wrapped up at the end for these four siblings. they sort of became free of as ko jokingly said the curse put by their own father.

because we're on the topic of the ending, i'm gonna be honest, i was genuinely scared because i didn't want it to be too heartwrenching. i don't think i would've loved that feeling in my heart and soul. i am actually genuinely happy with how all the strings tied up at the end. all characters get their sufficient ending, albeit not all so satisfactory as we would all want but still there's not much of a tinge of utter sadness. except for, i guess, shin. but i will write about that a bit later.

the last paragraphs of the ending put such a big smile on my face. it was bittersweet, yes, but still an honest one. nothing out of ordinary and as i would expect of our main two protagonists. i liked that koshun and jusetsu never said any words of eternal parting during their last physical encounter (while they were still young). koshun said, "that's enough for today" after each of them placed their individual go stones. they kept communicating through sumaru, the star raven, the raven's original apparatus. i liked that their one common connection was the game of go. you know, i was washing my face this afternoon after finishing the final volume and realized something.

the go stones are black and white. remember how koshun said something along the lines - the moon has both shade and light. but koshun and jusetsu is both shade and light as well. they're not just two things respectively. both of them are inevitably a single thing - the moon. two halves of single entity. go stones are black and white. the moon too is both black and white, when in shade and when in light. therefore, this playing of go is the only thing that keeps them as one. this is that auspicious thing of their that they carry while on this journey of a relationship they have, regardless of how vast and distant it might be. i just...couldn't stop thinking about it. i really don't know if this is what it is supposed to mean but it is simply just my wishful interpretation. i will not enforce this theory upon anyone to agree with me.

i'm just glad that the hope and perhaps a dream that koshun had which is them still playing go even when they're elderly came true, after all. especially when he was not the emperor anymore and tied down by the shackles of the imperial ground. at the end of their lives, they were finally free. perhaps in next lives, they will become more closer and nothing will seperate them.

i was also glad that the story simply didn't end with jusetsu becoming free of the raven. i was worried that she would end up becoming a lone wanderer and go onto living a solitary life without at least a few people she made meaningful connections with. the absolute delight for me was when i read how not just onkei and tankai but jiujiu herself ending up tagging along with jusetsu on her path in becoming a sea merchant under the teachings of chitoku, kajo's father. i liked it very much when jiujiu was so adamant at joining her niangniang when she was embarking on the journey to find the other half of raven at je island. jiujiu knew that if she didn't, she would never be able to see her again. so good job on that, jiujiu!

as for tankai and onkei, i kind of expected them to tag along with jusetsu even when she would be free of all the shackles. this part was very much clear to me during the golden goblet chapter, involving tankai. the air changed after that time. the perfect found family to ever exist, i would say.

also the development of onkei's emotional openness with jusetsu was a nice thing to watch. he was practically distraught when jusetsu's soul drifted away. his realisation that at time of her imminent danger, he couldn't do anything. this never changed. he became overly conscious with the outmost safety and well being of jusetsu. things shifted in him after this incident and it continued till the end of the story. his feelings reflected more on his face and he became more open to talk and not just guard her out of liability. i think tankai remained almost the same. the only thing was that he was more honest and straightforward with jusetsu. his dynamic with jiujiu balanced out the reserved nature of both jusetsu and onkei, creating the perfect equilibrium.

as for kajo, i also believe that her ending was perfect too. that last encounter between kajo and jusetsu though....man, i teared up. also our girl told kajo that her father keeps her childhood shoes with him as an auspicious item while travelling on sea waters. for kajo who always thought that her father didn't think much of her, this must have come like a whirlwind for her along with the imminent departure of her beloved amei, jusetsu who finally...finally!!!! called her aje as she said her farewell.

oh, kajo, i cried with you. but i was so happy that koshun never abandoned her, which i knew he would never. and, i simply knew no one could've been a better empress than her. her taking in banka's child and adoring him is something i expected from her. even banka herself knows her son was in better hands. kajo has always been one of my favourite female characters in this story. since day one i haven't had a single conflicting thought about her. she was always so dignified and well-defined. truly the best aje jusetsu could ever ask for and i too agree that there's no way she could ever repay her back. it's a good feeling that it was kajo's father who took jusetsu under his wing, therefore, i would like to believe that the thread between kajo and jusetsu never severed or thinned. she sort of became a part of her family, her real amei.

while talking about conflicting, i can never ignore banka. now...look, i love this girl too. her character development was wonderful in my eyes. i was so goddamn happy when she lashed out at her father...which sort of ignited something in both shin and ryo. at this point, i had no idea about ko but oh dear....i had no idea what was in store. now...before that, i have said how i didn't like how even though banka knew what her father was like, she still gave away jusetsu's secret, all while she herself had opened up to jusetsu about her family curse and about her adopted younger sister. it was just...idk i was so taken aback by it all. but then i understood why did what she did. she was simply just a gaslighted seventeen year old girl, daughter of an absentee father, who simply wanted a bit of love and attention from him considering her mother was also no more. and later this also became evident in both shin and ko too as the story progress considering their mother too never looked at them and stayed cooped up in her room till her death. banka was simply...or i would say, the whole saname siblings are such a pitiful bunch. all because of that piece of shit of a father, choyo. he definitely did not get the death he should've deserved.

because what was that fucking logic again? just because jusetsu was not in existence to destroy that dusk jewel when he was having his rendezvous with his own younger sister, yo, who because of the saname clan curse would die eventually at fifteen. shouldn't her death have been resulted from multiple factors like her not knowing why a girl younger than her was adopted? what was this girl's purpose and the supposed curse in their family? also, the fact that not only a naive girl died on behalf of her, she had to also carry a child conceived through an incestuous relationship with choyo himself? we never really get her perspective on what her thoughts were on her relationship with her elder brother, choyo. i'm sure these two things multiplied way too much and became detrimental to her mental health and thus led her to death. where the hell does jusetsu's non-existence self come into play in all these? i have never in my life seen such bullshit logic for someone to literally do anything and everything to hate and kill someone.

and in all these, i would say it was shin suffering the most. the traumatizing truth of his origin just made me stunned. i never in my life expected this to ever happen. i always thought shin to be the better of the three brothers, especially considering how he had his own lil crush on jusetsu. i'm just glad he got to stand up against his father one last time, leave that godforsaken family, regardless of how much ryo resents him internally and live a new life, with a new name given by koshun. and most importantly, jusetsu was the one to console him. she is just such a good listener, a safe haven without any internalized prejudices. (she has done this countless times, with onkei, ishiha, tankai and even koshun.) anyway, i don't really think shin ever healed completely. his was the only ending that made me feel sad and incomplete.

as for ko, i had not much of an inkling of his personality...and considering the rumours that he might become the actual heir to choyo...i was like oh, i have an idea of what he might be like but that is what it is - just an idea, nothing more and nothing less. even with the way his first interaction with shin went as shin landed on ga province kept up with my idea of him but....then things started going downhill. the rumours were exponentially far from the truth and ko was just the most complicated sibling out of all the saname siblings, also afflicted with same things banka and his brothers were which at least i would say in his case, he got his saving through yozetsu jikei.

ko left me perplexed at times. neither did i like him nor did i dislike him. sometimes i feel empathetic towards and other times, i just absolutely don't like the things he says out of that mouth. his mind and his physical self were never in one place. this man was in a battle of his own. even though jikei fills up that father shaped hole in his chest, i still feel conflicted by what happened to jo after being verbally influenced by ko. while he got his saving, another got banished. kind of mirrors to what happened to him and shin, i believe. although for shin, it was self-inflicted out of external influence, kind of like self-exile. keeping his siblings at arm's length but jo's life gets eventually over. at least before ko came into the picture, he was doing something he was genuinely good at.

among the elderly people, i definitely love love love senri and jikei. these two are just so much of a favourite of mine. the best uncles i could ever ask for. i am also very glad that senri came into jusetsu's life at such a turnover point in her life, helping her, guiding her. somehow i feel like reijo and senri stands quite close to each other in jusetsu's heart. senri was the father she never had. plus both jikei and senri were fun characters too. they were elderly and far more experienced with life and the dealings of the world but still they carried a softness in their hearts even after facing their own trials and tribulations. unlike someone we know like choyo. the most detestable elderly character in this whole story. even i think gyoei perspective-wise had some legit reasons to dislike jusetsu. i personally find it unreasonable but i can excuse his extremely old age and long connection with reijo. at least hakurai too had his own redemption arc while fighting the ao god but choyo? nah, that man was just....ugh.

i'm just glad that senri and jusetsu kept communicating through letters even after he retired and she got freed and talked about her to others. jikei too, after his daughter's death, at least now he has a granddaughter to whom he's going to pour all his love that he wish he could give to his late daughter. especially without any regrets this time.

what surprised me the most apart from all these was the raven's unregulated emotional disposition. raven was truly one curious entity. her antics and personality were something i wasn’t anticipating at all. i had always assumed her to be a mysterious character with a heavy presence after all, with all the pretence that was set for thousands of years in association with the winter sovereign and eventually, with the raven consorts…especially contrasting to the menacing ao god. she was, you know what...a fun one actually. kinda badass too. and she is definitely not the bad guy people make her out to be. how sweet that even after the raven left jusetsu's body, she still kept her apparatus, sumaru to jusetsu so that she can communicate with koshun considering shogetsu, the owl's apparatus was there with him.

like that was her little thank you gift. for keeping her trust and freeing her to her true complete self.

oh another one, how can i forget? kosho. man....that whole interaction between jusetsu and kosho when her soul was drifting. ran yu kind of had every right to be scared of her. i too would be the same. i can never fathom how horrendous her obsession was...the curse and shackles she placed for every raven consorts to come after her. jusetsu was right. for kosho, ran yu was her tunnel vision. no lives ever mattered to her other than that.....not even her own. what a twisted character she was. but somehow idk i want a side story of how ran yu and kosho came to such point in their individual lives and then at last merged into one until again getting separated by death, that too in a horrible way.

additionally, i would like to say cho, even though was a minor character in the whole of the story was such a fun addition. cho was such a interesting fellow too, going into anti-existential crisis out of no where while witnessing the gods fight and randomly jumping into the sea all the while senri stood there flabbergasted, i let out a chuckle during that part for real…& then him washing up on the shore, all alive saying how “nah i don’t think the sea god likes me very much” to which senri absolutely disagrees saying how he couldn't have been any more farther away from the truth…what a silly guy. i love him.

shiki was one interesting fellow too. a grey one i would say. i don't have much to say about him because there wasn't much impact of him in my heart. he's just someone fighting his own demons. he has his own justifications for it and i guess, we all have our own too. good thing is at least, the final confrontation between hakurai and shiki let shomei's soul to pass over. i simply felt sympathetic for her more than anything.

random but now i wonder how koshun was like as a father? as he never really had a present relationship with his father and his mother's death has marked him for life. he had both a son from banka and a daughter from koei. i'm sure he was as gentle as ever. i can just not think of him anything other than that.

finally, as for eisei, what a lovely and bittersweet scene it was. the very last encounter we read between jusetsu and eisei where she asked eisei for his handkerchief while he was returning hers because it's auspicious to carry your relative's belonging while at sea. oh man. by this time, i was already sad with kajo & jusetsu's interaction so this just made me feel so devastated. her teasing at the end by calling him, brother or honorable elder brother....

in senri's words, "you never know where and how you're going to meet someone or whether they'll be able to help you. it's so curious how one single person can lead to another, and then another and another..."[....] "it applies to the dead as well."

overall, i would say i am just so exceptionally glad that shirakawa-sensei didn't leave all the loose ends untied for us readers to conjure up events in our heads but rather took it upon herself to close the chapters on each of the characters, regardless of how much painful their individual lives have been. all lives eventually end. we all become something unknown after our death. i'm just happy that our protagonists might not have gotten the usual romantic ending as anyone would expect but i think they had enough love between them for them to suffice till old age. such thoughts were presented by eisei and kojo multiple times during their individual internal monologues throughput the story.

koshun and jusetsu were more than lovers, family and friends, perhaps they were something we are yet to discover, you know.

P. S apparently, ishiha ends up as the winter minister, raven's oracles were from hatan clan after all (how interesting is it not that a raven consort herself, the final one ever taught ishina to read, write and speak who will not continue her legacy more or less) and i'm assuming ayura becomes the ritual coordinator. you can find some easter eggs here. i hope we get more of shirakawa-sensei's works in english. i just really love the way she builds her characters.

( + i would've completed reading the whole series much faster if kali puja & deepavali hasn't fallen inbetween. 2-3 days literally went by because i was busy with festivities responsibilities at the end of october.)

[canmom]

What happened in the nimona movie?

I'm gonna assume you know the comic? Spoilers for both comic and movie follow!

I said in my Animation Night post that it broadly keeps the same premise and character dynamics, but actually on watching it they changed a lot of that too.

The movie is structured around a sort of Dishonored-like plot where Ballister, a commoner turned knight in a sci-fantasy kingdom, is framed for regicide and has to go on the run. Movie!Ballister is a very anxious and weak character who's constantly stumbling around in Nimona's wake. In contrast, Comic!Ballister comes across as older, an established 'villain'; he accepts Nimona as a sidekick almost immediately and falls into a protective, even parental role...

The movie's version of the setting has a walled city that lives in fear of monster attacks, when in fact the only 'monster' is Nimona, who was treated unjustly in the distant past. The movie's Institute are something like nobles, royal guards and would-be monster slayers. In the comic they're a much more overtly sinister organisation, some kind of shadowy state agency with a hand in weapons development. The whole walled city angle doesn't exist at all. Goldenloin is characterised not as a rube who is deceived, but someone who is willing to compromise with power...

There's also a lot more drama between Ballister and Ambrosius, with an inciting incident where Ambrosius lashed out an Ballister in a duel and removed his arm. Ballister ends up playing the villain due to this disability. The film does have Ambrosius cut off Ballister's arm for much less selfish motives and the arm matters less in general, it's played more for jokes.

Comic!Nimona for her part is still gung-ho for violence, but not quite so stuffed full of quippy movie dialogue. She is carefree, but you get more of a feeling that she is naive and overconfident, and less of a feeling of 'why does she need Blackheart again?' Also, while her principal conflict in the film is loneliness and ostracisation, the comic plays her a bit differently: she bristles at kindness and her big trauma has to do with people who make a show of trying to help her and let her down or try to exploit her.

The comic ends on a more bittersweet note. We do have Nimona turning into a big rampaging monster, but she doesn't get saved by Ballister making a big public gesture to reach out, nor does she carry out any sort of grandiose heroic sacrifice that changes the opinion of the public. Another contrast: in the comic, the Institute is discredited for being a bunch of shady evil science fuckers, and it's implied they are soon to be overthrown; in the movie, they remain in power even as the kingdom's founding myth is disproven; it seems that the Director was the only really bad one.

Indeed, in the comic, there's no convenient way for Nimona to prove herself to the hostile public. Ballister is the one that kills Nimona's monster form, choosing his moral code over their connection and, to one side of her, way replicating the pattern of betrayal that characterised her life - and though another part of Nimona survives, she moves on from Ballister. Nimona in the comic is able to be a much more ambiguous character in general. There's an interesting penultimate scene where she uses her shapechanging powers to probe what Ballister thought about her...

As an ending, it is a much less triumphant note than the movie's - and imo, much more effective for that. It fits the comic's general tone of weariness, hurts that can't so easily be healed. But I guess they decided that would be too upsetting for the kids!

The comic definitely is of its time, it's got a lot of the kind of 'whee! science' stuff that was really popular in webcomics of that era (think Dresden Codak, Girl Genius). I'll readily admit that the setting of the comic is kept very vague and some of the plot threads, like the whole jaderoot/poisoning thing, are really weak and I don't miss them. Even so... overall I thought the movie tells a much more conventional story, and ends up losing a lot of the characterisation and tone that made the comic compelling. Rereading the comic today, I'm struck by how many subtle ways it works better than the movie! In an adaptation it is inevitable that somethings will be lost or changed, but the movie feels hamstrung by the needs of being a 2010s American kids' movie, and even more so by being a 2010s movie released in 2023.

There are some touches in the movie I do like. The sci-fantasy setting with its mix of high tech and medieval is fun, and they got me with some of the jokes. On an animation level it's interesting: the way the characters move is very exaggerated, full of extreme poses and squash and stretch. It's something that historically CG films have struggled with, and a massive difference from the comic's very reserved, Hark! A Vagrant-like style. But it actually felt a bit grating and overacted, particularly in the first act... even so it does lead to some fun, kinetic action and musical sequences.

Still, I'm glad for Stevenson's sake that the movie finally got finished. And like, for all my frustrations with 'representation' as a paradigm, it is really a strange feeling to see an animated kids' movie like this wearing its gayness on its sleeve, in a way that would have been unthinkable just ten years ago. Nimona's trans allegory is laid on pretty thick in the movie, more so I think than the comic. It ends up feeling awkwardly didactic in the vein of Steven Universe, but still... hopefully what this represents is like a crude step towards something more interesting down the line. For now these mainstream movies are still stuck on 'look, gay' and 'don't do a prejudice', but maybe that lays the groundwork for more complex relationships.

Not sure what answer you were looking for with this question anon, but that's basically my thoughts on Nimona the movie ;p

[melodic-haze]

It's been a while since I last asked you how your day has been. It's doesn't seem like it's going the best, but I hope it gets a lot better.

Just wondering are you familiar with Hi3 characters? Because there has been "dreams" about a new characters that might be an expy. I don't think I could share here because it's leaks, but I could dm you or put it in the doc if you want.

Also just as I was writing this I saw the Gamescom HSR trailer which teased the Fate collab at the end and thought. Who do you think is gonna be apart of the collab? And what do you think or hope their kits will be like? Just wrote this as a fun little question since you seem to really like Fate.

And as always may your week be blessed and your future pulls even more so (Because if leaks are right I'm absolutely COOKED in 2.5)

-🍎

I usually don't like answering stuff out of order but I HOPE FOR DEAR FUCKING LIFE THEY DON'T BUTCHER THE FATE COLLAB LIKE THEY DID WITH HORIZON???? Dude genuinely the way Aloy could've had SUCH a sick kit if it weren't for Hoyo just genuinely not giving a shit. Anyway I wanted to get that off my chest rq

My day at the time was going horrendously. My day TODAY was fairly good :3c I had one of the last band rehearsals I'll ever have with the lot I'm with so. It's a bit bittersweet but also it's fine, I wasn't all that close compared to the rest of them 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Yesss I'm very familiar with HI3 chrs....or at least the ones before the new gen. I only know Thelema and the yoyo girl with Elysia's eyes but otherwise MEI I LOVE YOU IN EVERY UNIVERSE......ANS ELYSIA MY LOML you'll have to tell me ab the dream though bc idk what you're on about

As for the collab though fr this time, I'm guessing if they're collabing with UNLIMITED BLADE WORKS then Archer being there is a GIGANTIC possibility....and REALLY fucking epic dude I HOPE his ult shows his noble phantasm in the same way Acheron's is displayed as well OHHHH PLEAAAAAASE.......and I HOPE they bring Rin in as well idc if she's just an NPC dude KANA UEDA PLEASE PLEASE PLEAAE GRACE ME WITH YOUR PRESENCE

Genuinely though if someone gets turned into a limited chr, it's GOING to be one of the servants.....but not Berserker, unless they do the thing for Clara with Illya but that. That just takes away Clara's thing. And UBW wasn't really that centred towards her anyway. Him and Gilgamesh would PROBABLY end up as bosses let's be real. If they wanna up the money grab, they'd probably put Saber in as another playable chr, though considering this isn't Stay Night then like idk they probably won't

Me personally tjough? I'm actually mildly disappointed it's UBW they're going with. Yk what I would've LOVED to see? Fate/Grand Order. Their whole thing is going through time and space to fix irregularities to prevent the world from ending, and HSR may as well be one of the places they can go to bc maybe it's a limited-time singularity or smth 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ I'm not too fussed though!!! Alternate dimensions and realities are still a thing in UBW anyway (literally HOW would Lancer's spear work otherwise) soooooo......but GOD yeah I adore Fate tbh

I think we're all cooked for the next update though 😭😭😭 but thank you anyway :3c

[stgosupremacy]

MY SATOGOU GOODBYE RANT.

so yeah i said i would do one so here i am. honestly dont know how long this will be so let's get stuck in lmao <33

I'm starting after the 'im glad i met you part', bc i kind of already did a post on that anyway lol (and just wanted to add, in the dub they changed it to 'I'm sure glad i met you,' and Ash says it so soft omg i literally died on the spot watching it ;-;

(headsup ignore the fact some of the images are off a youtube channel i couldn't find the scenes💀)

so i hope this is all in order, but this bit is so so SO sweet when Goh tells him 'thanks for reaching out for me' like no surprise i was literally crying at that point like sgdxkjnfsgf it's so sweet to me that without Ash none of his journey would have really happened, but tbf you could say the same for all of his companion tbh. either way, i am very glad goh met satoshi too omg <3 🥺

theennnnnn this part is Ash just offering some sweet words of advice and comfort, talking ab their dreams ect, like, nothing too bittersweet to see here, but i guess you can say the way he said 'WE' and meant both of them is sweet lmao

OK so on the palm of our hands thing i have a few things to say

first of all i love how Ash knew that he knew what to continue with bc they are just so in sync with each other ofc <3 and OFC they had to put that scene in for the last episode, like when it was in the Mewto episode for the first time, i was honestly screaming of how cute it was LIKE THE FACT ASH MADE THE LITTLE ADD ON OF 'OUR HANDS' IN THE FIRST TIME THEY DID IT JUST MAKES IT EVEN MORE CUTER EJHSKF

but anyways as much as i love this scene because of how 'the future is in the palm of our hands', can be interpreted in some otherways, 👀 I also couldnt help but thing about something else.

after/before the Project mew stuff actually started/finished (pretty sure it was after,) we see a scene of Goh, Gary and Horace using the 'palm of our hands' phrase together, and yeah its rlly cute lmao, but i was kind of hoping it was something unique for Ash and Goh, not trying to be a fusspot, but i think the scene now feels slightly less special to me now Goh used it with some other people?

I mean sure, ash and goh were still the first people who did it, and it IS their kind of thing lmao, like they created it. Even tho it was just an initial thought, it is still really sweet that goh used it with others don't get me wrong <3

when i was watching this i was like no way this is it lol like are you not gonna confess

jokes but thankfully they made a bittttt more to it (and good bc if they left it there I would be sitting there like what)

so they start to walk away from each other and you see Goh is still quite sad while Ash is still holding up, my heart was dying </3

STOP IT WHEN GOH STOPPED AND HE WAS ABOUT TO CRY AAAAAAAAAA 🥺🥺🥺

BUT OFC

OFC ASH HAS TO CALL OUT TO HIM AND THE WAY GOH'S EYES HAVE THE LITTLE SPARKLE WHEN HE HEARS HIS VOICE 💖 The fact Ash actually thought while he was walking away 'oh shit need to check up on the bf' lol and climbed up the little hill to wave him off again is the cutest thing; CANNOT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE this made their whole goodbye for me tbh 💕💕💕

SUPPORTIVE BROS FOR REAL <3

ofc they want each other to achieve their dreams aww

ok but THIS

the bit where they nod at each other is so comforting to me like it's weird, but it gave me a little more satisfaction i'll say, lmao. also gives you a hint that they are wrapping up the goodbyes fully so it gave me some very brief preparation time 😢

and with that, Goh runs off into the distance.

</3 (my boy has grown up sm) 🥺

OK i do love that when he runs off, he's more confident, and when it switches back to Ash, it has him watching over Goh until he can't see him anymore, which is rlly cute <333 ahhh they're so pure man

Ash runs off to his new journey too, and he begins to talk about Pallet Town to Pikachu...

Thats it

yeah

SOOOOO BASICALLY THIS IS MORE OF THE RANT SECTION:

uhmmm so first things first. Did i like the goodbye for them? Well, yeah, it was quite cute, especially the end part where Ash gives him that last bit of encouragement and called out his name, because SHEESH if they left that part out and gave them that first goodbye without Ash calling out to him, and they just left each other....yeah, i wouldn't be happy.

see, i just kind of thought they deserved a bit better. It was v cute and all, but like they've been through so much together 😭 😭 😭 😭 like I'm saying this as a shipper but still 😂 tbf if they hugged I probably would have cried but let's be honest I could cry at anything at this point

but hey what we got was pretty cute, I just would have tweaked some things because honesty this duo are literally the closest I've ever seen in the anime, and I would have hoped for a little bit more, BUT IT'S FINE IT HAPPENED *mentally counts*

9 MONTHS AGO (??? where has the time gone)

but thank you for coming to my TED talk <33

[haljathefangirlcat]

So aside for the author throwing in things just to be cool, what do you think is going on with the Rosengarten heroes in their titular poem? Gibich, Gunther, Hagen, Gernot, Siegfried, and Ortwin are a given -- the family that fights together, after all. And Volker is a Burgundian mainstay too. Walther...I guess he was allowed to come hang out with his friends, even after maiming both Hagen and Gunther, because friends don't hold a little maiming against each other. Asprian is a giant who pops up both as friend and enemy to various heroes across the legendary timeline. Schrutan is named as a Hunnic knight in the Nibelungenlied, but maybe Kriemhild brought him along with her as some sort of bodyguard? Studefuchs turns up as one of Dietrich's knights in his exile stories. Pusolt seems to be a random guy unless you interpret him as Dietrich's frenemy Fasolt. So what's going on? Did Asprian and Studenfuchs leave the Burgundians after the fight with Dietrich? And there's the fact that in non-Rosengarten materials, Asprian, Schrutan, and Studenfuchs (and maybe Pusolt) are honest to god Jotun/giants/trolls who aren't just being exaggerated as literary license. Is everyone just okay with this?

Tbh, I tend to think of the Rosengarten as kind of... the Beach Episode of Germanic epics. You know, the old style filler episode that doesn't move the plot along or give that much new insight into the themes of the story, but it has character that wouldn't usually meet ourside of some specific context coming together to have a day of wacky adventures? There's so much weird stuff in it that I can't help but see it that way. XD *gestures wildly in the general direction of Ilsan's general existence*

I especially love thinking about Hagen and Walther in that context/mood, actually. The Waltharius ending is already either very touching in a very bittersweet way or simply hilarious, depending on if you take it as a case of using gallows humor to cope or just being Like That even normally, with them having literally just mutilated each other and being already cracking inappropriate jokes at each other's expense ("Don't you think it might a bit perverse, embracing Hildegund with your left hand?" "Aren't you worried that now, whenever you look at another knight, they're gonna think you're looking at them sideways because you don't trust them?"), so I enjoy thinking about everyone else expecting a dramatic confrontation between them only for them to be like... whatever the manly warrior hero equivalent of "OMG HI BESTIE *waves excitedly*" even is, I guess, at each other.

And also about Hagen really, really not wanting to even take part in Kriemhild's silly tourney (as, iirc, he disses the whole idea of it in at least one manuscript) and Walther showing up being one of the few bright spots in it for him.

And also, due to a couple of lines in the Waltharius about the "famous harmony" between Hagen and Walther and about Hagen clinging to Walther's embrace and having to force himself to let go of it to flee the land of the Huns and go back to Worms, about the two of them taking any occasion to sneak away to chat together when they're not the ones fighting even if they're supposed to be on rival "teams"...

So to me that's like... do I have any idea why Walther's even there? No. But do I have this ridiculous mental image of Dietirch somehow meeting him along the way and starting to say "so, anyway, we're going to Worms for.." only to Walther to immediately go "Worms, you said?! Man, I haven't seen Hagen in ages, can I come with you guys?" before he even finishes that sentence? Absolutely.

All the people who turn out to be giants and other supernatural beings are, like, an "okay, this might as well happen today in this poem. Hildebrand's just pretended to be dad so Dietrich would get angry enough to spit fire at Siegfried, making Siegfried cower and hide under Kriemhild's veil, after all" deal to me. I suppose it might come down to different traditions that kind of got lost around the way, but I remember reading somewhere years ago about a version of the Rosengarten where all the knights on Team Worms were referred to as giants, so who knows, it might be literary exaggeration, it might be a new take that didn't, well, take. As for the Hunnic knights, I find your ideas fascinating and think they have a lot of potential, but usually, I just write it off as the same kind of weirdness. The "Dietrich can spit fire and Hildebrand is not above playing dead to mess with him" thing itself fits just too well with the overall weirdness of both characters for me to dismiss it, however, so.... yeah, that one can definitely stay and be a whole thing in my headcanons. XD

[veryspecialfungus]

I'm gonna ask you to bare with me for a second here. I have a non-Psychonauts game that's been stuck in my craw ever since I played it.

And like...I don't know of anyone that's also played it or even heard of it. I guess this is a recommendation? All I know is that I can't stop thinking about it. I'm probably never going to forget it.

The game is out now, I just think this trailer gets the game across better than the release date trailer.

Farming sims are kind of an odd beast aren't they? Most of the time there's a Back to Nature Simpler Times Heal Your Soul By Growing a Simple Turnip theme but like...the mechanics never quite match for me. It's still capitalism. It's still running your farm the most efficient and money-making way possible to buy more stuff to make more money. That's not really a criticism, mind; I like farming games as much as the next person, even if the Cozy game genre has been throwing them out so hard and fast I needed to play a bloody violent shooter as a break from all the Wholesomeness.

So it was just a little bit of a lurch to play a game where the farming is working towards something, namely a ticket to the moon.

Before the Green Moon has you farming a piddly little patch of land on a post-apocalyptic Earth to save your pennies to start your life over. You know someone up on the moon colonies, or so you think. You haven't seen them in forever, there've been no letters. They might not be there anymore. They might not even be alive.

But what else are you going to do? The only way you have a future is on the moon. You can't live in this dinky little town of, like, six people forever.

But you do live there. You can't help but talk to them. You only get a few seeds every morning to start with, and once you're done with that there's just nothing else to freakin' do. They teach you to fish, they ask you to plant new seeds, you get a free stamina-boosting meal at the mess because you're a neighbor. You develop your relationships and make friends and become part of the community full in the knowledge that eventually you're leaving and never coming back.

It's a bittersweet experience. You might have guessed.

Before the Green Moon reminds me of a game Love De Lic might have made back in the day. Specifically, it reminds me of Moon RPG (hey wait a minute). The emphasis on being in the world and getting to know the community around you, sharing in their hopes and fears even though it's not really your world, not really your home. Maybe it could be, in a different life, under a different set of circumstances. But it's not. Eventually you'll move on. That's just the end of the story.

I love the way that hangs over your head the entire time. Do you really want to start dating the melancholy scientist girl when you know it'll only hurt her if it gets too serious before you go ? Do you come help the cook at the mess hall clean up each night or leave him to it when it seems like he's falling in love with you? What about the person who thinks farmers are bad luck? Do you keep up that relationship just because there's only six people to talk to total and you already chatted with the mayor today?

One thing that kept getting to me is that people from the moon come down to this crumbling little town you're trying to escape and they...suck? They really suck. They're too good to talk to you, they clog up the streets, they make the wait at the mess hall take two to three times as long, and they dump plastic takeout boxes and styrofoam cups all over the place. It's not clear why they've come down in the first place.

Maybe it's heartening to think you could come back to this little town if you wanted but...if you started a life on the moon and came back like this, who would even recognize you?

Aside from an annoying glitch where my anti hurricane poncho refused to protect me from hurricanes, I don't think I can speak highly enough of this game. It's a short experience that lives right in the middle of bitter and sweet and if you like contemplative atmospheric video games, I highly recommend it.

[purplesurveys]

1896

20 random people... Don't look at the questions beforehand! :D

Nina

Celeste

Hans

Lui

Kaye

Angela

Mom

Reena

Gabie

Kuya

Pau

Jo

Lei

Andi

Leigh

Marie

Dad

Dev

Sam

Pia

Ok, here we go...

How did you meet #4?: College org. I was an applicant at the time, they were already a member, and they seemed very friendly to all the newbies so I stuck around them. In time we became close and even got in the same friend group, which we're both still part of today.

How much does #9 mean to you?: She's a co-worker so while I wouldn't, like, die for her per se or can say that she's 'everything' to me, I'd look out for her nonetheless.

Describe #14 in 2 words.: Extremely intelligent.

What is your best memory with #5?: I loved when she came over to watch YTC Busan live with us! That was also such a random mix of friends to end up happening, so I was anxious they'd all be opposites – but it got really fun.

Do you know all of #2's secrets?: I know none of them seeing as we're only workmates and I like my boundaries.

When is the next time you're going to see #7?: In an hour or two, I'm guessing. She went out for a bit for errands.

When's the last time you saw #17?: 2 AM, Friday – dropped him off at the airport. From there, I won't be seeing him again until November.

How do you think #13 feels about you?: After trying to teach me one of her party card games last Sunday, I bet she now thinks I can get ditzy as all hell hahaha. But apart from that I don't know what else she thinks of me! We rarely see each other and are always shy when we do, lol.

Are #11 and #12 anything like each other?: Quite the contrary; they're a good example of how two people cannot be any more different.

Describe the relationship between #14 and #19.: They have a nonexistent relationship, but if we're gonna be extremely loose about degrees of separation – Hans went to the same school as Andi (#14); they both also were schoolmates with Gab, who used to date Sam (#19).

Is #10 single?: No. Has been engaged for a while now, too.

If you could tell #8 one thing right now, what would it be?: Let's go out soon and maybe we can try a new hobby together, too.

What is the funniest thing you've ever seen #16 do?: I haven't had many funny encounters with her tbh as she's kind of shy and doesn't really want to put herself out there – that, and we've always worked from home.

Can I name coolest instead? There was a time when my teammates and I each needed to make 10-slider decks about any topic (meant to be an exercise on public speaking); and she had what I thought was the most unique and personally relatable presentation – she covered her favorite lesbian media. Music, movies...and there's a bunch in there that I was able to relate to...just cause of my past, I guess. Haha. It felt pretty bittersweet, and I gave her some of my recs too.

How did you meet #15?: School. I can't remember when we got close, though. Maybe in high school if I had to guess – we stay friends these days, too, as she's with Andi.

What would you do if #4 died?: I'd be shocked to say the least. I'm imagining that'd bring the college friend group back together again.

What's the weirdest thing you've ever seen #3 do?: He had a brief stint as a camp...something (guide? counselor? idk terms) in the US a few years ago, so when he came back the first thing he did to me was share a bunch of camp songs he picked up from his time there. After he taught me, he proceeded to sing them all to entire time hahaha.

Are you friends with any of #19's friends?: Not with most of them. We only have a few mutual friends, all linked to Angela/Hans.

Who is #7 to you?: My mom.

What is one thing #13 is really good at?: I'm gonna go with biology and chemistry as she's literally a licensed pharmacist.

What would happen if #1 and #3 hated each other?: That would crush me, tbh. Hans is family at this point, and it'd be sad if he and my sister actively disliked one another.

Is #11 anything like #18?: I guess. Very surface-level similarities, but yeah. They're both leaders, their personalities are both pretty nonchalant...that's what I can think of now.

How much trust do you have in #12?: Lots, in the grand scheme of things. Jo is reliable and trustworthy.

If you fell off a bridge, who would you trust to catch you, #4 or #6? Why?: Angela, 100%. We're exponentially so much closer.

Who do you like the most?: It's a tie between my dad and Angela.

Who do you hate the most?: I didn't put in anyone I dislike.

How did you meet #1?: I would guess she was introduced as my little sister when I was 2.

What would you do if you never met #14?: I probably never would've gotten back into wrestling.

Would you date #20?: Hypothetically, in another universe – sure, why not? She's pretty and so so so SO ridiculously kind and has just such a warm personality.

Have you ever seen #8 cry?: Just once. We cried together at the time, but they were happy tears.

Would #5 and #13 make a good couple?: I've never thought of that. But I don't think so.

Describe #9.: I don't know her much outside of work, but from what I've seen she's hardworking; has a sensitive side in that she doesn't really like getting scolded; and she's a million times friendlier than I am – she gets along with everyone which makes her such an important part of the team. You gotta have an extrovert in PR, and she's that.

Do you like #16?: Yes.

Do you think #4 is attractive?: Personally not my type.

When's the last time you talked to #19?: Around two weeks ago.

Would you date #10?: Hard pass, that's my cousin.

What's the best thing about #15?: She has this innocent and pure aura around her that I adore very much. Like she can never get mad at anything and anyone.

Best thing about #7?: She's very resilient.

Have you ever kissed #11?: Nope.

Have you ever slapped #18?: I've never slapped any one person on the list.

When's the next time you're going to see #12?: I have no idea, our group rarely makes plans to see each other anymore. The last time I saw her was mid-2023 and we didn't even get to meet up after to talk about our Yoongi concert experiences like we planned.

Is #16 pretty?: Yes!

What was your first impression of #4?: Kind, approachable, helpful, reliable, older than me.

Is #13 your BFF?: No.

Have you seen #15 in the last month?: I haven't seen her in years actually lol. Andi and I hang out all the time and I always check in if Leigh will be tagging along...and she just doesn't.

Have you been to #20's house?: I have not. We're not that close.

Last time you saw #14?: April! We watched a wrestling gig. I'll be seeing them again later this month for trivia night – they added me to their team because two of the topics will be Friends and BTS, haha.

Next time you'll see #10?: Tomorrow, I'm guessing! We'll be coming over tomorrow and I think he'll by home.

Are you really close to #1?: Not heart-to-heart talk levels because we're a dysfunctional family and can't bear baring our souls to one another LOL – but it's a close-friend type of close for sure.

Would you give #20 a hug?: Sure. I'm sure I hugged her a few times when we saw each other 2 weeks ago at our surprise engagement party for Angela and Hans.

Tell me a secret about #5.: I don't know her enough to know her secrets.

Describe the relationship between #14 and #3: They were schoolmates in grade school until Andi moved.

What's your relationship with #5?: She's one of the school friendships I've been able to retain all these years. We're not best friends but we check in on one another from time to time.

Have you ever danced with #18?: I have not.

How do you know #13?: She's my closest cousin on my dad's side.

Does #2 have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: I don't think so. She had a dating phase early in the year, but I haven't heard much updates from her since.

Have you ever wanted to punch #6 in the face?: Maybe just once, heh.

Has #11 ever met your mother?: Nope.

Have you traveled anywhere with #12?: Nah. We could've, for Yoongi's tour! But I ended up in Thailand, she in Singapore.

If you gave #7 $100, what would they spend it on?: Probably on groceries.

Best memory of #2?: One of our events where we both ended up fairly tipsy.

What is one thing you most want #14 to know?: That I always feel bad for being the occasional terrible replier, but I hope they know that I always love it when they message and send me the most random questions or rants.

What's the last thing you did with #15?: I honestly have no clue. She's the one I've seen the least often.

When did you meet #8?: We first met around six years ago, when Angela brought us together for some drinks. We never talked again until 2021 when it was Angela (again) who put the three of us in the same chat since we all liked BTS. We got super close from there.

What do you wish for #17?: Good health is #1. It's something I find myself thinking about more often now; and for him not to feel lonely and sad when he's away.

[feralyrica]

I am MELTING ON THE FLOOR over how much i love the entire Horizons cast a;dslfjk like losing ash is still. very bittersweet. but every single character in the new series is like engineered to appeal to me and it's Very Rude

(gonna go off about everyone below the cut bc i need to scream into the void for a bit)

so first off Liko?? little anxious baby, freezes up from overthinking, a DRASTIC change from past characters and a very bold choice for the like main protagonist but one that feels necessary to really differentiate this new series from the old,, then her (over)willingness to sacrifice herself (please, sweetheart, please get over that i am begging you nobody wants to see you get captured)??? and then her dynamics with all of the other characters are PERFECT, especially Nyaoha and Roy (even though they've. just met) and i can't wait to see how they develop!!

then ROY. Baby. Baby boy. Pure sunshine. I think he may be the single purest character in the entire franchise. Him and Hogator are SO CUTE (if you haven't seen the new episode yet PLEASE watch it i cried from the cuteness) and i can't wait to see how he officially joins the gang (i have. theories. but we shall see) and again, the dynamic with Liko is. absolutely beautiful a;sdflj

then FRIEDE. man. man is cocky, a bit of a himbo ("What? didn't I mention that?" SIR excuse me that was important,,,) but also intelligent enough to be a professor, i am FROTHING AT THE MOUTH for more backstory. (...plus he's pretty ok). Also i don't feel right giving him his own section in this but shout out to Cap. The power. The STANCE in that chair. The cockiness that he shares with Friede (who is? his trainer? I guess? despite deferring to him in most matters involving the ship) and that is tbh very well deserved. also i love that they gave him a distinctly different battling style to Ash's pikachu!! well done making him feel like his own unique character

the rest of the Rising Volt Tacklers (who can share a section just bc they. have not had much screentime yet) are also just. fantastic. Murdock with his cute little puppy being the biggest softest man around (and completely failing his section in the ED a;dfsjk i'm so glad they made him Incapable of Being Cool), and then Orla being just. so tired half the time (mood) and also HELLA cool, just based on vibes, and MOLLIE (and oh, I do love the theories about her being a Joy. i beg of you, GIVE ME THE BACKSTORY, POKEMON) with her smirks and glares and her angry chansey jacket just generally being a boss and the opposite of what you'd expect from a healer,,, and Ludlow who... I don't have much to say about other than that I'm side-eyeing his beard. I don't believe it's real. where is his FACE. but i'm interested to learn more about what the hell he's doing with this group a;sdfkj

and then there's THE EXPLORERS!! who are apparently notorious, for reasons that will hopefully be elaborated on. i usually love villain characters so no surprises here but I LOVE THEM,,, they're already significantly more ruthless than most past villains so that is. very very fun. Conia is very very funny with her feelings on nyaoha as;kdflj and then Zir is a little bit less developed thus far but so far he seems to be kind of the more serious of the two and i'm really excited to see how he goes from here on out!! and then AMETHIO. i may have missed something in my initial watch but i honestly assumed he was a rather short adult from his speaking style and how the others deferred to him,, but I'm now thinking meant to be like older teens? definitely older than Liko but now i'm SO CURIOUS as to how he ended up in his position here. and he is also!! so pretty!! top tier design a;sldkfj i'm just in love with the trio's dynamics and i NEED to know their goals and what they plan to do with Liko and the pendant (and. if i'm right about how the next episode is gonna go. very soon Roy and his ball will be added to that list) i am DYING of anticipation

(also that's all for the main main charas but shout out to Anne, best gremlin, Liko deserves such a chaotic friend it'll be good for her and i'm so glad they're staying in touch!!)

idk i'm just like. i'm still sad over ash and idk if that'll go away anytime soon but this new series is really, really good so far, and i'm SO glad, because if it hadn't started off strong then i am absolutely certain that people would've completely trashed it, but it's vibrant and exciting in a totally different but just as engaging way as Ash's story was and i'm just. idk i'm really happy ;w; and will probably spend too much money on merch but that's just how it goes a;lsdkfj

[rosemaidenvixen]

Are there any major changes to canon you think you'll make in the sunshine au, other than the obvious? I've seen you talk about things you didn't like about wizards, and was curious if that meant you were gonna tweak it for the sake of the au

Oh I am definitely going to be doing a lot of tweaking to canon for the sunshine au.

As people have probably guessed already, Mary and Darci will be included in team Trollhunters from day one, and Barbara will be in the know from the start as well. Another major thing is that Douxie will join the main cast during the equivalent of TH season 3 and will be heavily involved in the battle of the eternal night. How the TH crew gets introduced to the Tarron siblings will also happen a little bit differently (Steve finds himself sworn to secrecy by two different groups and is very conflicted before he convinces them to talk to each other).

Then we get to the things I'm changing for salt related reasons...

First off the slaughter of the Janus order won't be just a thing that happens and is immediately forgotten about. The same with changelings in general; the beginnings of gradual acceptance of changelings into mainstream troll society is going to become a big plot point.

For the most part 3Below season 1 will be untouched, but for season 2 I'm planning on unkinking a lot of the major inconsistencies that were introduced (Krel needed to scavenge technology for weeks to build a Daxial array but can MacGyver together a wormhole generator with spare parts? No way. Kubritz's motivations changing on a whim based on what the plot demands? Fuck that.)

Speaking of inconsistencies, while the basic plot for Wizards will stay the same, the gang going back in time to Camelot and to make sure the battle of Kilahead goes as planned, I'm going to tweak events to actually keep a consistent continuity between the events of TH and Wizards. For starters, Merlin gave the amulet to the trolls several thousand years earlier, meaning Deya wasn't the first, and their trip back in time will be foreshadowed and built up for a long time leading up to it. Also Jim's transformation won't be undone, he'll remain a shifting halftroll permanently.

And for RotT I'm going to do what I'm doing to Wizards time a thousand. The Arcane order will actually be built up and foreshadowed as antagonists, that god-awful Steve mp//reg plot will not happen, all the characters and their individual arcs will line up with their journey to this point (no BS "Am I still the Trollhunter without the amulet") and when I say characters I mean characters, plural. Jim is a hero but he's not the hero, they're a team and each character will be given equivalent attention.

And most importantly there will be no time travel retcon ending. One of the major themes running through this series is that the world is rarely broken down into black and white options, we just have to choose the choices who's consequences we're able to live with. And I'm f*****g sticking to that. The group's victory will be hard won and bittersweet, not without sacrifice, but in the end they'll create a better world for both the mundane and the magical.

Sorry if I sound so salty I love Tales of Arcadia but it has some deep flaws especially with that dumpster fire movie.

[johnbly]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by the @boltlightning the myth the legend

1. how many total works do you have on ao3? 31

2. what’s your total ao3 word count? 137,304

3. what fandoms do you write for? mostly potc, but i did toss out that one roland fic the other day. also at some point hornblower and his dragon will be published. i promise bolt. i will not abandon justinian. he also likely wouldn't allow me to anyways. he is likely just outside my window at this very second

(putting it the rest under a cut as this is a bit long)

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

a birthday dinner for two (tears of themis)

i would do it again (tot)

partners in everything (tot)

party in the mansion (fe3h)

learning to trust (fe3h)

of the five, learning to trust is definitely my favorite and the one that i think actually deserves the kudos. like not that the others are bad but tot is up there because of fandom popularity and then the other 3h once was for an exchange

5. do you respond to comments? usually!

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? i was gonna put one of the potc fics here but it feels more bittersweet than angsty so i'll return to my hubert and edelgard pov azure moon fic that i remembered from last time (our paths end here)

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? i'm p sure last time i did this one i did one of my tot fics which makes sense bc they're basically the only happy ones but i don't think i'd published this one yet? who knows. anyways partners in everything

8. do you get hate on fics? thankfully no but i did get a somewhat rude one that one time

9. do you write smut? only fade to black here and i don't think i've ever posted any of that anyways. don't hold your breath on this changing but also if you're following me expecting that kind of content to begin with you are. in the wrong place

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written? i don't usually but i have done hockey aus for two separate fandoms (3h & pb) so there's that. i wouldn't consider that too crazy though

11. have you had a fic stolen? / 12. have you had a fic translated? / 13. have you ever co-written a fic? keeping these stuck together with a no for me as well. i did do a back and forth writing thing with a former friend but that was for a personal project

14. what's your all-time favorite ship? i am not really a big shipper! i went through my charmed tag the other day so i guess i can say piper/leo bc i was very into them when i was watching. if we can extend ship to being not necessarily romantic then we all know that The Horny Lads have rewritten my brain

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? great question! i can't think of any bc if i don't think i'll ever finish a wip i likely. don't want to finish it

16. what are your writing strengths? i'm good with dialogue especially banter and since i refuse to write fics where i can't get into the head of the pov character i'd like to think my characterization is solid

17. what are your writing weaknesses? society if i could describe things without suffering. i will blame the aphantasia

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? i'm not sure i've given it much thought since i haven't done it before. i'd def be scared of messing something up

19. first fandom you wrote for? my first ao3 fic was for pb but i know i did fics before that. i'm gonna guess hp since that was my first fandom

20. favorite fic you've written? look i have to hype this fic up bc it has an audience of like five people but i put a lot of love and time into my fernand character study (the fallen knight)

i tag @writingbyricochet (not sure how much fanfic/ao3 you do since your blog is mostly original worksso feel free to ignore this/adapt as needed) and @philcoulsonismyhero and whoever else wants to do this!

[gummybugg]

hello! i really like character making and character design :]

i'm wondering if there's anything in particular that inspires you. and who/what jumpstarted you into creating your own characters and stories

-🌈

(This one's gonna be a bit all over the place, sorry about that I got a bit excited)

So hi! I really love character creation, it's one of my favorite things to do :')

i'm wondering if there's anything in particular that inspires you

Music like the Beatles, ELO, Queen, Will Wood, indie, punk rock, and really whatever I get when I hit an interesting recommendation (I'm eclectic)

Video games: Persona series, Fallout, Hypnospace Outlaw, Undertale, Sally Face, umm also indie horror games are generally where it's at for me

Jojo's bizarre adventure, one punch man, neon genesis

I was a theater kid at some point and am inspired by Chicago, Cabaret, Cats, Rock of Ages, and Rocky Horror for their wackiness/vibes

Webtoons/comics: Paperteeth!, After Dark, I'm the Grim Reaper, Lovebot, Space Boy, Solid State, The Prince of Southland, Yuna and Kawachan, Electric Bones...

Besides media, I am inspired by people I interact with (which can help me build character relationships) and qualities I pull from the inside. Also, I have had a strong interest in psychology for a long time, so my stories are very character-centered. I also like throwing in a funny edge to most things I create because I don't like being serious 100% of the time. I like to experiment with irony a lot, as you do.

I'm inspired by ideas I wish people talked more about, what'd I liked to have seen as a child, untraditionally beautiful characters, wacky characters, and characters flaunting who they are because they're proud to be themselves. I love unfixable characters who learn to find worth, characters who are overly complex, characters who fall from grace, blah blah blah. Or sometimes I just write characters for fun and with no real motive, who gain a purpose later on by chance. But not all stories need lessons or purposes or morals or whatever. Some things are more fun when they're just existing because they can. I feel like my wip Crater City is like somewhere in between having a purpose and having none at all.

Other things that help inspire oc: drawing them with random art generators, scrapbooking their very own page, filling out oc interviews, participating in writeblr events/games, spending a whole day listening to their playlist, forcing myself to write one scene with them in it, pinterest-ing, creating a blog/journal/site about them, etc.

who/what jumpstarted you into creating your own characters and stories

I started writing as a small child and would create illustrated "stories" based on real events that happened in my life but lowkey exaggerate them because I was like 6, hehe. Or play with barbies or legos or whatever and that's its own thing right there. Then I moved on to big boy things like writing in notebooks about girls with horribly made up names that mysteriously resembled Disney princesses' names because I'm bad at naming things (see: my webkinz pet named "the blue whale").

I'm not sure what jumpstarted character creation for me, I guess it was always this ✨️💕thing inside me all along 💕✨️. I think it was because I was a quiet child and kept to myself, which meant a few friends and a lot of introspection at a young age. But I was/am inspired by things all around me. Things that make me feel nostalgic, bittersweet, or whatever other emotion that's hard for me to explain because emotions are weird for me.

As a child, I created ocs based on who I wanted to be more like. Ex: an outgoing hero with bold hair, a strong anti-hero with a bit of edge, an adventurous hero who easily befriends others, etc, etc.

As a teen, I created ocs fueled by spite ("I can make better ocs than half of you seasoned authors even if I'm just a kid") and also my knowledge of the dsm-5. I think I was inspired most by my trauma, so yeah, that'll do it to you. I still dig deep down for some inspo from my Deep Dark Past™, which has helped me understand myself and ocs better, who would have guessed? But this doesn't exempt me from research.

As an adult I am motivated to write because of the impending doom that we all die some day so I better wrap it up before something happens to me and I lose my ability to write by some chance I'm out of college and I have my whole life ahead of me and have no more boring essays tying me down :'DD

[infamousmonkey-cat]

I guess the mental illness wants me to do ofmd reaction posts now so here we go

called it on the rabbit :( all the world will be your enemy, prince with a thousand enemies... rip

last week i was like "wow i was way off" but now i'm kind of feeling like my fic actually did a pretty good job of capturing the general vibe of these last two episodes

speaking of which i have two separate wips in my draft folder from weeks/months ago (before any s2 promo). one has ed bonding with a rabbit and one has ed being scared of spiders (which i'm PRETTY sure is new information, right?). spooky

dang that crew's getting whittled down! ivan (what did guz do??), the swede and now buttons. i have mixed feelings about this. it kind of feels like it's leading towards everyone going their own ways--not necessarily one by one, but certainly not staying together as a crew. which is probably necessary growth and shit but also feels quite bittersweet

idk what the general fandom reaction has been to buttons turning into a bird yet but i'm on board with any and all magical realism this show wants to give me

1x05 and 2x04 both end with ed and stede leaving a party that is on fire, having hit a major turning point in their relationship. i like symmetry

maybe it's just because i've been catching up on wwdits but izzy's arc this season feels "baby colin robinson" to me. i'm genuinely enjoying the stupid disaster that he is this season

i've been SAYING (to myself inside my own mind) that stede is the service top in this relationship and i feel like that is basically textually confirmed at this point

"pop WHAT magnitude? pop WHAT?"

stede risking a curse for that gay little outfit might be my favourite thing he has ever done

i wonder if that suit could possibly be a metaphor for anything

so weird that ofmd and iasip both independently did nut-allergy-being-mistaken-for-a-curse episodes

for ep 5 part of me was like "oh wow they're really gonna keep them apart for basically the whole episode??" but i actually love them having their own little adventures and then reporting back to each other at the end of the night so w/e

waxing moon <3 <3 <3

eta actually i want to say a bit more about this scene: FIRST of all the role reversal is very Something, second of all the fact that ed got to kiss stede like he wanted to the first time around. kind of rewriting history, but in a good way. very Shark

i miss zheng. girl where ARE you