#guess i'm gonna spend less money so that's a good thing

[thesmokinpossum]

gonna keep it 100%, it's not their best year :')

Bpal dropped the yule perfume oils, I'm about to go wild!

[deadpresidents]

I’m curious about the friendship between Gerald Ford and Jimmy Carter (and presidential friendships in general,) I’d like to know what that looked like for them. Would they go and do things together or was it just a few phone calls a year?

Their relationship is really interesting because during the 1976 campaign and in the years right afterward, Ford and Carter genuinely did not like each other. It wasn't a normal, opponent vs. opponent rivalry, either. They straight-up disliked one another, and that was extremely unusual for Gerald Ford, who got along with practically everybody he met throughout his life, rarely had bad things to say about other people, and was almost physically incapable of being unkind to others, no matter what side of the political spectrum they belonged to.

What changed was when President Reagan sent all the living former Presidents -- Nixon, Ford, and Carter -- to Cairo in 1981 to attend Anwar Sadat's funeral following Sadat's assassination. The three former Presidents all flew together on one of the planes normally used as Air Force One, and there was some tension at the beginning, but the person who broke the ice, oddly enough, ended up being Richard Nixon. Ford then suggested that the former Presidents should drop all formalities and just refer to one another as Dick, Jerry, and Jimmy. As Ford remembered, "I guess we figured we were gonna be in a plane together forty hours, more or less, and in order to be pleasant, it was a good idea to just wipe the slate clean, which we did." Ford and Carter eventually started bonding, partly over the fact that Ronald Reagan was a major reason why each of them ultimately lost their respective bids for re-election.

At the time, Carter was having trouble building his Presidential Library, and he asked Ford for some advice since Ford had just recently opened his library. When Carter mentioned he was having some issues raising money for the library, Ford offered to come down and appear at fundraisers for him, and asked Carter to return the favor and visit the Ford Library for an event.

As Thomas M. DeFrank writes in his 2007 book, Write It When I'm Gone: Remarkable Off-the-Record Conversations With Gerald R. Ford (BOOK | KINDLE | AUDIO):

"Carter accepted, triggering a Jimmy-Jerry tag team match extending over several years. These back-scratching appearances didn't convert them into friends, but the relationship was notably friendlier. They began staying in regular contact, talking on the phone, and exchanging birthday greetings. Their contacts were sufficiently public that some of Ford's closest political allies grumbled that he was spending altogether too much time with Carter -- not unlike similar complaints from [George H.W.] Bush 41 partisans today that he hangs around Bill Clinton too much. Ford brushed off the complaints. Beyond their shared practical interests in Presidential Libraries, another unifying bond was at play. Both ex-Presidents had strong reasons not to like Ronald Reagan, which helped cement their ties even though neither one would ever admit it publicly. To one old Ford friend, the calculation was simple: 'Once you did something for his library or museum, you were a friend for life.'"

As they got older, Ford and Carter would sometimes make joint appearances at Presidential Libraries or universities, or events for important causes, and they even wrote a joint op-ed during the Monica Lewinsky scandal urging Congress to censure President Clinton instead of impeaching him. They felt it was a bad precedent (which it has clearly turned out to be) and would be bad for the country. Unlike Ford, Jimmy Carter wasn't very easy-going or personable, so there were times when their friendship would get a little frayed. Ford once told a friend, "Well, you know Jimmy. He can be a real pain in the ass, but we get along."

Eventually, they promised one another that they would deliver the eulogy if the other former President died first. President Ford died first, on December 26, 2006, and Carter attended every event during the several days of ceremonies, from Ford's lying in state at the U.S. Capitol, to the national funeral service at the Washington National Cathedral, and traveled with Ford's family and the former President's remains to Ford's hometown of Grand Rapids, Michigan. At the church service in Grand Rapids, Carter delivered his eulogy, and also attended the private interment service when Ford was buried as at his Presidential Library. In his eulogy, Carter repeated the gracious first words he had said when delivering his Inaugural Address on the day he took over the White House from Ford in 1977, "For myself and for my nation, I want to thank my predecessor for all he has done to heal our land." It was a remarkable relationship between two former Presidents who, again, genuinely disliked one another for quite some time.

[coyotes-rules-of-change]

Have we as a society lost our sense of acceptable public behavior?

Picture it: me, a swanky bistro, and an elegant patio adorned by the warm glow of string lights. I'm having a nice dinner—just me and my current favorite menu—until a couple is seated near me. It didn't take me long to hear that they were celebrating a six month anniversary and—given their gradually escalating volume—it was a night out at my favorite restaurant that was not going to fix their obvious relationship problems. In the short time it took the fresh rosemary rolls and whipped butter to arrive at their table, their loud talking had become peaks of yelling quelled only briefly by an unsatisfactorily hushed "quit talking so loud" or an ironic "you're embarrassing me."

Do you hate them yet? Because I definitely did. Except unlike you, I can take care of this; after all, knowledge of my methods is becoming more widespread. All I have to do is wait the thirty seconds it will inevitably take for the volume to boil over yet again.

"I can't take you anywhere!"

There she is again. Time to work my magic—

"Same shit again! I can't fucking take you anywhere! Everywhere we go: "miss, could you quiet down", and "sir, could you tell your date to stop yelling.""

"I'm not the one screaming f-bombs in public places! You need to learn some manners!"

*Whoosh.*

"Babe, I just can't have a conversation with you if you always yell." Already he's speaking at a much quieter volume.

"I just never feel like you're listening to me."—and she's also followed suit. Maybe that was all I needed to do, now I got my peace and quiet... but I'm not one to stop once I've started, and I suppose I'd rather not disappoint you either—after all, this isn't very interesting yet, is it. She continues: "I told you to dress nice and all you can manage is a t-shirt and shorts."

"I love you babe, but you can't tell me that you showing that much skin in a place like this is appropriate either."

No one sees it, but a slight grin crosses my face. I wave my hand and...

*Whoosh.* A light breeze passes through and their outfits shift.

"I'm dressed showing skin?! You're not even wearing a shirt."

"Babe, you're basically just wearing a sports bra and shorts."

"I look good. You don't work out enough to pull off not wearing a shirt in public."

*Whoosh.* A light breeze again. He's sporting some nice light muscle: square pecs, a nice six-pack, and some toned arms.

"Babe, I know I'm nowhere near my bulking goals but I know I look good enough to pull off being shirtless. Look, if you're gonna be like this, maybe we reschedule and have this dinner when you're not on your period."

...

...

...Look. What I did here may have been inappropriate... but would you expect anything less from me. I don't claim to be ethical, and I'm pretty sure you are well-aware of my biases by now... I'm not proud of what I did... I'm not... Okay maybe I am.

The ebb and flow of the conversation took a radical tone when one masculine voice was met for the first time by another. "Well then it's a good thing I'm not a girl."

"I guess that's true. Why would I even say that?"

"Because you're trying to avoid the subject again. Between you're time at the gym and your time at work, I never see you."

"I can't help it. At least I have a job."

*Whoosh.*

"Being an influencer is a job. I just wanna know how you can spend so much time working out when your job is being a personal trainer."

"My body is my sales pitch. I've build so much muscle now my co-workers are telling me I could enter a physique competition. Maybe if you worked out more, you'd actually get followers, and make money."

*Whoosh.*

"That's why I wanted to come here with you. Ever since I started working out with you, I have been gaining followers just as fast as I've been gaining muscle. I guess now is as good a time as any to tell you: I have 1 million followers."

"Babe, that's great news. I can't believe it!"

"Yeah, and there's more. The videos that gained the most traction online were the ones I shot with you. So I wanna go in a different direction with my page from now on."

"Wait, you've built it up by yourself. Why would you change it?"

"I wanna make it a couples page. Health, fitness, and gay pride."

"Most people dating for three years usually get proposals involving a ring."

"Do you wanna do this with me?"

"Yes, of course!"

A couple in my favorite bistro rise and embrace beside their patio table and share a passionate kiss. They seem happy, although I sit there and wonder if they'd be interested in a third for the night.

Have we as a society lost our sense of acceptable public behavior?

No. Not in this case. It could absolutely be much worse.

[nellielsss]

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Tσʝι'ʂ Bιɾƚԋԃαყ… αɳԃ ƚԋҽ Nҽɯ Yҽαr!

Summary: it's your man's birthday--and the new year! What better to reign in the new year by celebrating both? And at a festival no less! Ft: Toji Zen'in/Fushiguro CW: mentions of child abuse (pertaining to Toji) Note: two fics in the span of a week?! How amazing is that! Also I can't believe 2025 is already gonna be this week!!! Happy birthday to my #1 man everybody ☺️ Also this isn't proofread since I wanted to get it out before I'd be too busy to finish it in time, so there might be grammatical errors!!

To be quite honest, the New Year was yet another one of those holidays that Toji didn't give a shit about. Christmas, New Year's, Golden Week... none of those were anything memorable to Toji growing up. Why would he care when he had more important things to care about, like getting out of his shitty family and his shitty living situation? Why buy presents for people when he had nobody to buy said presents for and could just spend the money on horse racing instead? It was a no brainer for him, obviously. Just get through the week, swallow all those stupid "Happy New Year!"s from the stupid drunkards passing him by, and get on with his day.

And what was so special about the new year? The earth passed around the sun for another year--so fucking what? Everybody dies in the end anyway. People should loathe there being another year, because it means one year closer to death. January was also a shitty month on its own, so there was that.

There was also the fact that it was his birthday.

The painful reminder that he was put on this earth 20-something years ago, that his parents were stupid enough to not wear a condom or pull out that resulted in him being born into this equally stupid world. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid--all of this was so stupid. His birthday, the new year... he really couldn't give a shit.

But that didn't mean you couldn't care about both things!

The way you saw it, it was another year on this earth where the sun didn't explode and there wasn't a nuclear war that destroyed everything; and Toji's birthday meant that he had another year to look forward to being alive. That was just the kind of person you were: uplifting, vibrant, and always seeing the good in everybody and everything, especially your boyfriend.

(You didn't actually see the good in everyone; that was just a figure of speech. Plus, your boyfriend had a lot of good to see!)

This means that, for the past 2 years you've been together, you've gone all out for both holidays, dragging him to holiday festivals and making a day out of his special day, buying him presents when he didn't feel worthy of receiving such thoughtful items.

He's never even had a present from someone who wasn't his handler, and that's because he was contracted to him. All he's received is beatings and hateful words from his family, who made sure to make a nightmare out of what was supposed to be his special day. So, it didn't strike you as surprising when he cried his eyes out when he got his first present, but all of that was another story for another day.

So, here you were, putting on Toji's special black haori that you bought for him on one special day. It went perfectly with the dark green kimono that went perfectly with his dark green eyes. "Don't you look handsome, handsome," you mused, smoothing out the dark fabric.

He rolled his eyes and tried to play the compliment off. "Yeah, yeah, I'm not much of a fan of this kinda stuff anyway. 'Much prefer the sweats and tee I always got on."

"The ones you end up ripping while out on your job?" You teased, poking his chest with a long, manicured nail. "I can't have my boyfriend running around in rags. What kind of girlfriend would I be if I did, hmm?"

Toji snorted in response. "Hey, sweets, I'm the boyfriend here. Aren't I supposed to be the responsible one, spoiling you instead?"

"I guess I'm a fan of both," you shrugged earnestly. You stepped back after his haori was put on, and you went to look at yourself in the mirror with a big, confident smile on your face. The pink flowers on your red kimono went perfectly with all the little hairpins on your head, and the geta sandals you wore almost made you tall enough to not be dwarfed by the hulk of a man that your boyfriend was.

While admiring yourself in the mirror, Toji approached behind you and wrapped his massive arms around your waist, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. "'N I'm a fan of you, sugar," he grinned with earnestness. "This color, especially. And all those cute little flowers you got in that hair of 'yers."

"Don't mess up my hair, Toji," you chastised him when he tried to play with the little pins. "One wrong move, and your 'sugar' won't be so sweet anymore."

He chuckled, shook his head, and walked away from you. "Right, right. Wouldn't want that happenin' anytime soon." He grabbed your purse and handed it to you, then wrapped the fur collar you had laid out around your neck. "And I wouldn't want you to catch a cold, either."

"Why, thank you, handsome," you giggled softly. "You ready to go?"

"Always if it involves you." He took your hand in his much larger one, pressed a kiss to the back of it, and led you out of the closet and the house.

Said festival that you dragged him to was just as amazing as always. The minute you got there, you dragged him to the first stand that you saw and played a game of ball toss (which he let you win, obviously; you didn't stand a chance at beating his assassin aim, and he'd much rather see you win than him), ate some takoyaki, and ran around doing whatever you two wanted to do.

"Let's go play that game next!" Was what you always said after every last game, dragging him around by the wrist with an unseen strength.

"Make sure my hand doesn't get yanked off first, doll," he chuckled simply.

At the dart toss, he decided to show off for you a little bit. What was the fun in simply rolling over belly-up when he can A. flex his biceps and B. show off his aim? He'd trained it for so long, so why not show off a bit? Each dart hit the bullseye, and he won you a giant New Year's special Hello Kitty plushie.

Which he ended up holding for you. You weren't lifting a finger, not while he was around.

Each game, each food stand, each little thing the both of you did only made the night more & more fun. He could definitely get used to celebrating his birthday and the New Year by playing silly little games and eating little delicacies here and there.

"Here, try this one!" You held up a bit of squid for him to try, and you fed it to him with your chopsticks. "Aren't you just the cutest little thing with your mouth stuffed, hmm?"

He narrowed his eyes at you with the food in his mouth and tried to say "shut yer trap" but instead sounded like he was muttering gibberish, resulting in you simply laughing and hugging him quickly.

Around you, the snow began to fall a bit more amidst the glow of the New Years lanterns, and all the little kids started to cheer for the specks of white snowflakes. Now, Toji wasn't a man who was hung up on the idea of starting a family, but it felt like a glimpse into the future that the two of you were going to build.

He didn't even feel worthy of having kids or a happy life in the first place. All those years of trauma, of being hit like a hurt dog & called a shit-stain on this earth had taken root in his brain, and digging them out felt like a job for an expert gardener (of which he was nothing of the sort), but with you, the light of his life, the angel of his salvation...

"Toji!"

You snapped him out of his little thought tangent and smiled at him. "Come, I wanna give you a present."

He grinned cheekily and let you lead him to a secluded area. "Oh? You finally gonna gimme that kiss you've been dangling over my head for so long?"

"Get your mind out of the gutter, handsome," you chided with a little giggle. "It's something much more special than a simple kiss. Besides, haven't I given you enough kisses for the day?"

"Have some sympathy for the birthday boy, dollie," he said while clutching his chest dramatically.

You turned to the side, taking something out of the purse you'd brought with you. "I made this just for you, Toji." You handed him a little book and waited with an expectant smile on your face.

"Y'know I don't read much, sweets- ow!" He didn't anticipate the little flick of the forehead he received for that comment.

"Just open it already," you pouted impatiently.

It was a small book with a thick cover & back--more cover than book if anything, so this was definitely not an ordinary book. Turning the book open, his eyes lit up when he saw the little pop-up that came out of the pages.

In the little pop-up book, there were photos of you together ordered by date and event. There was the first time you met, your first official date, the milestones you'd completed as a couple...

In the back of the book was a small note that contained your elegant handwriting and read:

"Dear Toji, dear my future husband, dear the best thing that's ever happened to me! I'm not very good with words, but to put it simply: I am so incredibly grateful to be your sweetheart. To think that we're already celebrating your birthday again (and yet another new year!) is mind-boggling, to say the least. Time really does flow by when you're with the people you love. Your strength, your resilience, your self-confidence and willingness to grow and change despite all that's happened to you is an inspiration, and I find myself growing and changing along with you. Happy birthday, and happy new year!! Love, your sweetheart."

He didn't even notice the tears that were streaming down his face until the paper got noticeably wetter. He put his hand over his mouth to stop himself from sobbing, and he shakily closed the book. "Dollie, this is..."

"Hey, hey, big guy," you comforted him carefully, knowing how emotional he got sometimes. "It's okay to cry, y'know. It's okay to cry around me."

You encircled your arms around him and let him crush you in turn with his much larger ones, and you let him cry into your hair.

"This is... the b-best gift I've ever gotten," he admitted, muffled by the strands of your hair. "Thank you... thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you so fuckin' much, I don't know what to do with myself sometimes."

"It's alright, you don't need to know what to do all the time," you reassured him, looking up at him when he pulled away from your hair. "You just need to know that it's okay to let others take the wheel, yeah?"

He nodded, wiping his tears with the back of his sleeve. "Got me cryin' like a little bitch here," he said, chuckling chokingly.

"And you're not a little bitch," you reminded him by flicking his forehead. "You're Toji, my Toji. No amount of tears will ever change that."

"Aye aye, dollie," he joked, even saluting you.

You simply raised an eyebrow and snorted. "C'mon, let's go write our wish for the New Year before the clock strikes twelve, 'kay?"

At the shrine in the center of the festival, the two of you took two things of paper and went to the shrine. You both turned from each other to keep things a secret, although it's not much of a secret when you both wrote "a happy life with my future wife/husband" on your papers.

Once written, you both hung them up and walked away from the shrine. "So, what'dya write, dollie?" He asked, wrapping his arm around your waist.

"It defeats the purpose if I tell you what I wrote, genius," you retorted (with another sassy look from your end).

"Guess you're right," he shrugged. He pulled back his kimono sleeve to eye the time, and he realized it was already 11:52 and the new year was about to arrive sooner than he'd expected. "Shit, guess it's gonna be 2025 real soon, ain't that right?"

"Time flies when you're having fun with your man," you giggled cheekily.

He reached around and smacked your ass real quick after you said that. "And ain't that right as well," he replied with an equally cheeky grin.

As the minutes ticked by, you thought about how incredibly blessed you were to have each other in your life. You'd started and were about to end the year with each other, at the same festival that you'd attended last year. He used to hate sameness and repetition, always searching for something to spice things up...

But he didn't need to search for anything when he had you.

Turns out, the only thing he needed to spice up his life was someone who could give him the stability he so desperately craved and needed to survive.

He was so used to turbulence, to not getting a day nor night's rest, that he'd forgotten to stop and smell the roses.

"Five, four, three, two, one!" Those numbers caught him off guard, but he didn't have to worry when you kissed him right as the new year rang in.

"Happy New Year!"

© nellielsss on tumblr - get your own shit bitches | ca. 12/31/2024

[beanghostprincess]

Just thinking about ASL living together (modern AU) and Ace always trying to sneak Yamato inside their house without Sabo's knowledge because he doesn't want him to go all 'responsible older brother' on him. But the reason why he's always letting Yamato stay over is because his life at home is obviously... Not so good and he hates being there so he tries to spend most of his time outside. And Ace's heart aches every time he has to let him go, so he often lets him stay over. It becomes more constant and less of a 'sneaking in for a while' thing. And Sabo knows. Because of course, Sabo knows. Sabo always knows what's going on. One day he wakes up to see Yamato having breakfast and Yamato gets all anxious and not knowing what to say and trying to make an excuse (because that's what Ace told him to do if this ever happened) and Sabo is just like "Do you want anything else?" / "Huh? What?" / "I mean. You're eating cereal but we have more stuff in here, you know? At least one of us can cook. What do you want? I can make you pancakes." / "YOU KNOW HOW TO MAKE PANCAKES???????" / "Oh my god, what has my brother been feeding you in here???" / "Mostly leftovers." / "Dude, why are you still with him?" / "Because I love him!" / "Yeah, no, me too. I guess love makes you do stupid things like dealing with a fucking moron like him. Anyway- Pancakes?"

And then Ace wakes up to find his brother and his boyfriend actually getting along and laughing and having breakfast together, and he needs a second to process everything because he's tired as fuck and maybe he's hallucinating. But that doesn't matter because the point is that he's fucked.

Ace: ..... Hi? Sabo: Hey :) Ace: What are you two doing? Yamato: WE'RE HAVING BREAKFAST :D Ace: Yes, babe, I can see that. Why are you here, Sabo? I thought you were- Sabo: I got home last night from college. We have some days off. Now, care to explain why you've been treating your cool boyfriend like a dog instead of giving him actual meals? Ace: I- You're not angry? Sabo: Oh, no. I am angry. Can't you see I'm angry? Ace: Sometimes you give me mixed signals and I'm never sure...? Sabo: I'm angry. That clear enough? Ace: Yes. Yamato: Okay, so Sabo is the only person that scares you. That's good to know. Ace: OH SHUT UP HE DOESN'T SCARE ME I AM NOT AFRAID OF MY BROTHER Sabo: Ace. Ace: ... I'm sorry.

Then, Sabo takes Ace to a more private place in the house and expects an explanation from him and Ace can't keep the secret anymore. So he tells him about Yamato's dad and how he is not a good person and he's always keeping him locked and making his life a living hell. And Ace is literally begging Sabo to let him stay for a while and Sabo is just staring at him like "Why would I not let him? How could I not? Do you see me as some kind of controlling demon around this house or what?" / "I mean, you're kind of scary sometimes-" / "Because you don't do shit around here and when I left for college I expected you to take care of Luffy. But I'm not making Yamato leave! What the fuck, Ace? You should've told me." / "I just- I just don't want him to go back there. He's, like, the nicest guy I've ever known. He's just so good, Sabo. I don't want him to-" / "Yeah. Yeah. He's the love of your life and you're gonna get married and have a fairytale ending or some bullshit like that." / "I did NOT say that." / "But you love him. I'm not letting him stay over if you're not serious about this. We barely have money for us three and we're lucky I can go to college." / "... I know. I know. I do. I do, you know. Like. The L word. You know I can't say it." / "Idiot." / "You're so mean to me. You don't do this shit to Luffy." / "Because at least Luffy has the decency of telling me when his friends are coming over." / "That's what you think." / "What? / "Nothing."

So, long story short, Yamato has the chance to actually live with them for a while if he wants to. Of course, he can't do it permanently. But he knows he has a home there if he ever feels like leaving his own house.

[threepandas]

Since you don't mind, I'll explain the idea, isekai guy! the reader in one of the goals (hits from the moment of birth), a hothouse guy - a knight from a not very noble family, perhaps in one of the bad endings he dies, protecting the main character with his body ... romantic, right? but the MC does not think so, he is the only heir of the family, he needs to think about himself, and about his mother, and about his sisters (of which there are many, because his father had many concubines). If he dies, then they will all be in danger, because of this the MC decided not to pay attention to the saint - a commoner (MC of the game), and in order to look at girls at all, first you need to successfully marry off your beloved sisters, preferably to worthy men, and for this you need money. He loves all his sisters, his mother is the temporary head of the family (until the end of his studies) with the help of her son accepted the illegitimate children of her husband and is calmly waiting for the time when she can give control to her son (she is confident in him). Platonic! Yandere - this story is his mother, his sisters and his older sisters' husbands (his close friends), some of his sisters he bought out of brothels (it's clear where his father went) and helped them enter society, others he simply supported (girls in the Middle Ages, and they already have life and sugar, and they are also illegitimate children), and was the light. His brothers-in-law (his sisters' husbands) also care about him, since he helped many of them in difficult times in life and brought them together with their beloved spouses, but they are more in the background somewhere. And then the sisters find out about a coquette who seduced a prince, a duke and a magician (or rather, just started doing it), and suddenly began making eyes at their brother. They will not tolerate such a girl near their brother. How they will get rid of her, I will leave to your choice ...

Thank you for your attention. Have a nice day / night / evening

Ooooh this is a VERY good idea! Not sure I could do it justice with my lvl of skill to be honest? Cause it would take at least a few chapters to unfold.

Reader is def a Pillar of Strength. The "I'm going to try and do the right thing, because no one ELSE fucking will" sort? Who is pissed and heart sick at the treatment of his half sisters? Probably wants to bring his father back to life just to murder him himself.

Heck, he even has the concubines to worry about, assuming they were decent ladies. Those are his sister's MOMS. This is less a family and more a small LEGION. Noble blood or not, the house can only afford so much. ESPECIALLY after his father's fucking spending spree!

All HE really has is his body. His strength.

He can be a KNIGHT.

Try desperately to navigate the politics of having so many sister to marry off. Because? It's DEFINITELY making certain factions nervous? Marriages are ALLIANCES. They bind houses together!

Why are you trying to unit so many houses under your command, huh, boy? Up to something? Getting IDEAS???

No! No he is NOT! That and the constant background checks on the suitors. Education for the youngest. Education for HIMSELF. Because maybe if he marries some of his sister's abroad? There was a nice lord several nations over! But, shit, I don't speak that language! Guess I have to learn! Teach HER that language and the culture! Aaaaaaaah!

He?? Doesn't have TIME for romance! Are you KIDDING him?!

This is all ON TOP of managing the MESS of neglect his Family's lands have become! There are land disputes and bandits! Bridge inspections! Tax audits! YOU guys may be able to frolic around with the saintess, but HE is a Border Lord! His lands are both vital to the security of the county AND under his IMMEDIATE command!

Cannon Him was a negligent DUMBASS!

And? Obviously, he wouldn't be impressed by bloodline or wealth. Not for marriage prospects. He's not gonna SELL a family member just to make HIS life easier! Fuck that! We tighten the belt, sell a few ugly paintings, and ignore the sneers. We'll get through this. NO ONE is getting married to an abusive peice of shit on his watch.

So?

Second sons. Bastards. Those of poor birth but Great Ambition. Men who are BRILLIANT and SKILLED and ADORE their beautiful, magnificent, "how the FUCK did I get this lucky, every day is a dream" wives. Who turn around, WITH their beloved wife, and...

Want to Take Care of their poor, poor beleaguered Brother~♡.

The man who gave them THE WORLD. Who SUFFERS under the weight of it. Struggles and fights, exhausted, against an endless sea of FILTH trying to tear his family apart. Destroy him. When was the last time HE rested? Was taken care off? Relaxed? He tries so, so hard to protect THEM. They just... just want to be there for HIM, you know?

Be HIS support.

Have him turn around, relieved, smiling and say "oh thank goodness it's YOU! I can rest easy now, knowing YOU are here. I Needed You Here, You've Got This, I Trust You."

But then? THEN??? As his BELOVED family is gathering around? Preparing to... subtly... GENTLY, mind you! Maneuver him back towards home and out of all this STRESSFUL politics and gold gathering and general drudgery? That frilly little "Saintess", who does NOT seem terribly Holy if you ask them, sets her covetous eyes on THEIR dearest Brother/Brother-in-law/Son!

Don't Saints have TEMPLE Duties? Hmmmm? Unlike THEIR Brother, seems SOMEONE here has NEGLECTED their Duty! Holy my ASS. Have you even stepped FOOT in the Temple in the last DECADE? When did you last PRAY? Perform sacred rights? Cleansing rituals?

Besides! WE don't even FOLLOW those Gods! Yeah, didn't stop to ASK about that, DID YA?! No, you presumptuous *Censored!*! This country may have a STATE religion, but it doesn't enforce it upon others! Because it goes AGAINST said religion! We follow a local God from a different pantheon! *shouted theological rant by Sister number 6, the religious scholarly one.*

It'd be hilarious. One man's journey to take care of his family. That spirals WILDLY out of control with an endless serious of "oh... just one more thing..." and trying to find a SINGLE FUCKING DECENT MAN in the whole shit show of a country for his sister's to marry?

Only to accidentally?

Stumble upon "yandere" as the winning formula, not knowing it. They don't drink. Don't gamble. Would NEVER lay a hand on their beloved spouse. Are romantics and respectful, ambitious and want to make a good life for their family's. Extremely Loyal. Did he mention ADORE their spouses? Not JUST for their youthful beauty? No, no, for THEM. These guys will love them FOREVER.

It's perfect! *each red flag makes a whooshing noise as it sails merrily riiiight over his head* hmm? You hear something?

Unfortunately? Or fortunately, depending on the angle? They are IN to that! Freak to freak behavior! Yandere on Yandere marriages. WHOLE fuckin bloodline is probably cursed now. Rip everyone in THAT region. Cause that's a timebomb waiting to go off horrificly.

But not yet!

Right now? It's just interesting~☆

[themuseandantarctica]

* 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒂 𝒃𝒊𝒓𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝒂 𝒋𝒆𝒕 𝒆𝒏𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒆

lyric starters from my top 100 most listened to tracks of all time, according to stats.fm. change however necessary.

❛ i loved you then, and i love you now. ❜

❛ i've got some things to say, but i guess i'll wait my turn. ❜

❛ greed, see, it's like a little pet, alright? and the more and more and more that you go and feed it, the more hungry it's gonna get. ❜

❛ who cares if some things are dying? ❜

❛ i lost a tenner on the way. thinking about it, did i spend it last night when i was drunk and i wanted to get more drunk? ❜

❛ it's your life, and it's no one else's, sweetheart. ❜

❛ down on your knees, you just don't look so tall. ❜

❛ they speak about trust, but make no mistake; they're shaking your hand while they spit in your face. ❜

❛ you lucky you ain't dead if you know they sent me. ❜

❛ my name ain't dick, so keep it outta your mouth. ❜

❛ you're only happy when your sorry head is filled with dope. ❜

❛ i know i've only felt religion when i've lied with you. ❜

❛ if there were no bad girls, who would star in porn? ❜

❛ being imperfect was much more fun. ❜

❛ do you ever feel like falling for someone you never thought of falling for? ❜

❛ you scared yourself. ❜

❛ do you really think that anyone's impressed? ❜

❛ give everyone a sense of what to fear. ❜

❛ you think you're so tough; baby, put your hands up. ❜

❛ feeling pretty good about the trouble that i'm in. ❜

❛ don't leave the party dying. ❜

❛ they don't know what they're missing. ❜

❛ ain't got shit, but i got this far. ❜

❛ all the ladies think i'm cute. ❜

❛ maybe all you need is someone to trust. ❜

❛ you got what the whole world wants. ❜

❛ if it takes shit to make bliss, well, i feel pretty blissfully. ❜

❛ for every good deed done, there is a crime committed. ❜

❛ work it out. ❜

❛ never did no harm. ❜

❛ not everyone is out to screw you over. ❜

❛ got different people inside my head; i wonder which one that they like best. ❜

❛ i'm not really bad, i'm just made up of bad things. ❜

❛ every time i look around, i see what a fiend made. ❜

❛ it doesn't get better unless you got money. ❜

❛ it don't take no fucking scientist to see that there is nothing in this world for me. ❜

❛ i think one of us is hiding something. ❜

❛ well, where do you want to be murdered? ❜

❛ i make the rules, or i'm gone tonight. ❜

❛ i'll take pride over profit and guts over greed. ❜

❛ what do you know about love? what do you know about real love? ❜

❛ your business, go mind it. ❜

❛ it's so good to have someone to be so bad with. ❜

❛ history will hate us, but they'll never forget our names. ❜

❛ girls are not meant to fight dirty. ❜

❛ i feel i've been riding up the wrong path, but i'm gonna make sure i get the last laugh. ❜

❛ please come in and take a seat. ❜

❛ i never let people in, and i have you to remind me why. ❜

❛ this ain't my first time at the rodeo. ❜

❛ life couldn't get much sweeter. ❜

❛ leave everything that is worth a single cent, and just take me instead. ❜

❛ i'm thinking they'll know just about everything. ❜

❛ i'm too classy for your lines. ❜

❛ that's the reason that i'm like this. ❜

❛ even if we found love, what would we do with it? ❜

❛ i found my faith, but i don't want it anymore. ❜

❛ i swear to god, this'll be my one last time. ❜

❛ i left my best friends, or did they just leave me? ❜

❛ i've been doing just fine on my own. ❜

❛ the more i try, the less i'm free. ❜

❛ i'll wreck this if i have to. ❜

❛ it's very hard to drink to my continued success. ❜

❛ i would make a better liar. ❜

❛ now stand back up and be a man about it. ❜

❛ i ain't got time for you, baby; either you're mine, or you're not. ❜

❛ at the end of the night, maybe you'll find love. ❜

❛ they just wanna get rid of us. ❜

❛ i'm making my own history. ❜

❛ ideology replaces being honest. ❜

❛ you think it's a circus; the truth is, it's a strategy. ❜

❛ don't be afraid to try again. ❜

❛ though you drown in good intentions, you will never quench the fire. ❜

❛ if i wanted to talk, i would have called a friend. ❜

❛ just because i lost it doesn't mean i want it back. ❜

❛ you've got the gift to make the stars all around us begin to shine. ❜

❛ you're aiming to be famous. ❜

❛ i'm a fucking teenage tragedy. ❜

❛ don't tell me i'm unfixable. ❜

❛ step right up, i'm a reasonable guy. ❜

❛ is there someone that you're trying to protect? ❜

❛ i may not be worthy of your heart, but i'll make you feel all right. ❜

❛ let go of wrong and right. ❜

❛ always dating dirtbags, everyone but me. ❜

❛ i need her like a forest needs a flame. ❜

❛ step away from the window and go back to sleep. ❜

❛ they don't give a fuck about you, like i do. ❜

❛ these times won't last, and once they're gone, they don't come back. ❜

❛ you got a bright, bright future if you can shut your mouth. ❜

❛ remember when you were a madman? ❜

❛ everybody wants to change the world, but no one, no one wants to die. ❜

❛ don't put your life in someone's hands; they're bound to steal it away. ❜

❛ if i stay, it won't be long 'til i'm burning on the inside. ❜

❛ when they see the bruises on my face, they're probably taking both of us to jail. ❜

❛ if i cannot have you, then nobody can. ❜

❛ your lips look so lonely; would they like to meet mine? ❜

❛ you're as cute as button. ❜

❛ i wanna get fucked up right about now. ❜

❛ i've been searching for an answer, but i ain't found one. ❜

❛ you know you're better than this. ❜

❛ you've still got it, i'm just keeping an eye. ❜

❛ tell me, does it take a war to start a revolution? ❜

❛ it's gonna take sacrifice. ❜

❛ i think we've been here before. ❜

❛ would you fight back, or would you relax? ❜

❛ last time that we spoke, it was a little much too late. ❜

❛ i got nowhere to go, but i'm so damn far from home. ❜

❛ i don't want to nitpick, [name], but is this really your plan? ❜

❛ i'm not a monster, [name]; well, technically, i am... i guess i am. ❜

❛ not long ago, you were here in my arms, and i swore i would protect you from harm. ❜

❛ no one should find out how it feels. ❜

❛ maybe this is a second coming. ❜

❛ keep your secrets in the shadows, and you'll be sorry. ❜

❛ i could keep your number for a rainy day. ❜

❛ i don't want to feel like this. ❜

❛ i'll cut your little heart out 'cause you made me cry. ❜

❛ don't worry, it's not gonna hurt. ❜

❛ i've been dreaming of the city for a long time, far from my hometown. ❜

❛ the time has come for me to be someone. ❜

❛ i know it's not your fault, it never is, is it? ❜

❛ i remember when i was that pathetic. ❜

❛ without a 300-dollar pair of shoes, don't even think you're gonna talk to me, you're a fool! ❜

❛ i'm a badass, not a douchebag, sorry. ❜

❛ i've seen things no one should ever have to see. ❜

❛ my head is filled with advice i once ignored. ❜

❛ it makes me think about you, so i wear it when i sleep. ❜

❛ you're someone i'll never get over. ❜

❛ don't blame me for all the years that you were asleep. ❜

❛ god made me a cannibal to fix problems like you. ❜

❛ i'm in heaven tonight. ❜

❛ are you ready for the best damn ride of your life? ❜

❛ it's too late now, i'm too far gone. ❜

❛ after what you've done to me, don't expect any sympathy. ❜

❛ i don't wanna remember what i did last night. ❜

❛ i'm not just drunk, i- i really think i'm in love with you, baby. ...okay, i really am just... drunk. ❜

❛ let 'em know who we are. ❜

❛ let's go hard like we're insane. ❜

❛ if i'm the king of cowards, you're the queen of pain. ❜

❛ i used to be a lap dog, now i'm just a stray. ❜

❛ yeah, i heard you was sick. ❜

❛ you could never catch my flow. ❜

❛ if i told you that i loved you, you'd maybe think there's something wrong. ❜

❛ those who speak know nothing. ❜

❛ you may be good-looking, but you're not a piece of art. ❜

❛ you can't have peace without a war. ❜

❛ under the skin, against the skull, they put a little chip so that they know it all. ❜

❛ i want what's best for me. ❜

❛ by the way, what the hell are morals? ❜

❛ you've always been a huge piece of shit. if i could kill you, i would. ❜

❛ you either wanna be with me or be me. ❜

❛ when she asks for something, boy, she means it. ❜

❛ you play me like i am made of strings. ❜

❛ my world revolves around you. ❜

❛ don't stop giving me things. ❜

❛ we're all just having fun. ❜

❛ i still haven't gotten anywhere that i want. ❜

❛ my thoughts were so loud i couldn't hear my mouth. ❜

❛ make me feel like someone else. ❜

❛ you got me talkin' in my sleep. ❜

❛ stir the rice so it doesn't stick to the bottom. ❜

❛ actually, no, that makes it harder when you kill them. ❜

❛ you could have had it all if you'd have got your shit straight. ❜

❛ i can't stick around and watch you crumble. ❜

❛ don't you think i deserve better after all that we've been through? ❜

❛ this'll hurt less if you just submit. ❜

❛ i need a fucking miracle. ❜

❛ we just wanna love, we just wanna be loved. ❜

❛ it's hard to save a dollar the way the world runs. ❜

❛ our generation is a fucking joke. ❜

❛ you're just so full of it; at least we don't pretend. ❜

❛ nothing's ever gonna break up what we found. ❜

❛ in your mind, you think it's only you against the world. ❜

❛ have you lost yourself? ❜

❛ you and i were meant to be, it's easy to see. ❜

❛ i'm not the perfect guy, a little slow, but i've got perfect timing with you. ❜

❛ trouble, he will find you, no matter where you go. ❜

❛ i won't let him win, but i'm a sucker for his charm. ❜

❛ so what if it hurts me? so what if i break down? ❜

❛ get me out of here. ❜

❛ you don't wanna play with me? ❜

❛ sorry, babe, you're just a one-night stand. ❜

❛ show them that rules were meant to break. ❜

❛ you better jump on it fast. ❜

❛ it's all a lie, but you'd never know. ❜

❛ there's something waiting for you here. ❜

❛ i was fine before you walked into my life. ❜

❛ high fivin', talking shit, but you're going home alone, aren't ya? ❜

❛ don't care for anyone else. ❜

❛ wake up, the dream is over. ❜

❛ if i'm gonna be honest, i am the best in the game. ❜

❛ darling, i swear i'll never leave. ❜

❛ you always fold just before you're found out. ❜

❛ i only want sympathy in the form of you crawling into bed with me. ❜

❛ you say you're gonna quit it, but you're never gonna quit it. ❜

❛ the feds are here, you know. ❜

❛ hard to see in color when you're miserable. ❜

❛ it's just not your time to die. ❜

❛ we treat mishaps like sinking ships. ❜

❛ i don't think there was an insult that was missed. ❜

❛ say what you wanna say. ❜

❛ maybe there's a way out of the cage where you live. ❜

[king--dom]

"Goddammit Caleb, fuck off. I really thought you were different"

"This IS different! We've been friends forever, Lucy! I was one of the first people you came out to and I've been by your side for years!"

"Waiting for your chance, evidently!"

"Is it such a crime to wanna help my friends start a family?"

"It should be to pretend to be someone's friend just to be 'the one man'."

"You said yourself that IVF is too damn expensive!"

"Yeah, and that me and Amanda gonna save up for it "

"But what if you don't have to? It could take way longer than you expect and with the way politics are going, it may not be an option in a few years."

"Then why don't you help us pay for it if you care so damn much?"

"I would if that's what you needed! But if we don't HAVE to spend the money and if my genes are as good as anybody's and--"

"And if you get to fuck your lesbian couple friends."

"Only to help start your family!"

"Yeah, I'm sure you'll keep insisting we 'make sure' until we start showing."

"They came out with an app that alerts you the second your pregnant, so it would just be until the alert goes off"

"Oh my fucking god...you realize Amanda is the one who's gonna carry the baby right? This still isn't your chance to fuck your old crush"

"Like I've been saying, that's not what this is. And y'know before she came out I--"

"Shut up before I hear something you'll regret. That's my wife you fucker"

"Alright, just promise you'll talk it over with her, okay?"

"What makes you think she'll agree?"

"I don't necessarily think she will, but I still want to offer any help I can"

"Ugh, fine. But don't get your hopes up."

*******************************************

"Babe you can't be serious."

"Lucy, I know you're stressed out trying to save money, but I don't think he's being underhanded."

"I'm not talking about that! I got over that, he's just a ridiculous dork. I mean you can't seriously be considering fucking that goober."

"To save a quarter year's wages? Maybe. It doesn't have to be a big production, it's just sex"

"But it's more than just sex. I don't know, sex with you is something really important and special to me. Him just giving you a boring fuck is almost worse than you having sex with a man in general."

"So you'd rather he seduce me and blow my mind?"

"I'd rather put a baby in you myself! Stop laughing!"

"I'm sorry babe, I know you're much more of a man-hater than me but I really don't see the big deal."

"Oh yeah? You're the one with a nonstop libido, I figured it'd be a pretty big deal to you"

"Stop~ you might get me riled up haha. I've looked into that app, y'know. It's legit, it even tracks orgasms. Why don't I set it up and you can see just how much you've got me wrapped around your finger. Would you feel less scared that your best friend will steal me away then?"

"Pff, he doesn't scare me. Fine, let's see if it works and if it does I'll tell Caleb he's got a chance at being a donor."

******************************************

"You seem a lot more chipper today"

"Let's just say it's nice to put numbers on how good of a top you are"

"You tried out the app? It's pretty great right?"

"Hmph, I guess. Listen, I appreciate you want to help, but you have to understand this is about more than money for me. My pride as a provider, a top, and a lesbian are in the mix. My girl deserves the best and if I'm gonna allow anybody else to fuck her they gotta prove they're up to the task"

"Uh, okay? I think I get what you mean. So what do you propose?"

"I'm not gonna just let you fuck my wife. You're gonna have to somehow get her hot and heavy for you and treat her right before you even get a shot"

"You want me to...seduce Amanda?"

"I want you to try. Since I can track her orgasms, I'll know if you don't satisfy her before you try to knock her up. If you dare try to pump and dump my wife, it's seriously gonna be the last thing you do."

"Okay okay! Sorry, this is just a full 180 from what you were saying last time. And wait...you're gonna use the app to track it? You're not just gonna be in the room?"

"One: I don't wanna have to watch you fumble with pleasing my wife. Two: I still have to make money to pay the mortgage and groceries."

"Okay...so what time should I--"

"Figure it out."

"Huh?"

"I told you I'm not gonna just let you sleep with Amanda. I'm actually going to be playing goalie as much as I can to keep you from getting the chance."

"Wait but you said--"

"These are the terms of my challenge: if you try to come over when I'm home I'm going to physically throw you out like Jazz in Fresh Prince. If you somehow get Amanda to let you in and get in bed, the first orgasm I'm alerted to I'm heading straight over to-once again-bounce your ass on the pavement. You have a week starting tomorrow morning to do your best and if you can't, you're paying for half the IVF"

"God, I forgot how competitive you get. Okay fine I'll--"

"Ah! Not done. To make sure you don’t chicken out, 'cause you're my friend but I really wanna enjoy cockblocking you, if you somehow manage to put a baby in Amanda after making her cum...I'll let you put a baby in me."

"...Lucy..."

"Ha! What's wrong? Too scared or too horny to think straight?"

"Sigh...fine...if this is what it takes to help you two, I accept."

"Good! You're not a coward of a man after all. Go ahead and get your finances straight tonight because starting tomorrow, it's the beginning of the end for you."

********************************************

"You're so dramatic"

"Don't act like it doesn't turn you on~"

"Two things can be true haha as long as you're comfortable, I'm willing to play along"

"I still can't believe you're okay letting him come onto you"

"Well I guess now I don't have to be since he has to pay up if he doesn't. As dramatic as it is, I appreciate you prioritizing my pleasure.

"Like I said, sex with you is sacred. I intend to enforce that. Why don't I prioritize your pleasure before we go to sleep~"

*********************************************

"Have a good day babe!"

"You too Amanda, remember to not even open the door unless Caleb somehow manages to make you blush"

"I probably won't even hear the doorbell, you got me all revved up I'm probably gonna stay in bed a but longer and jill to the thought of what you did last night~"

"God I love you."

********************************************

*Ping*

[3 orgasms @ 8:32, 9:14, & 9:56]

"God she couldn't even wait for me to get to work. Lunch is almost done and she never texted saying Caleb swung by. He must not be taking this seriously enough. I was certain my wager would light a fire under him, oh well his loss."

"Hey Lucy, glad I caught up with you. You back on the clock?"

"About to be what'sup?"

"Got a rush order that has to be done today. Marketing fucked up and never sent us their info, now we need it ready for tomorrow's presentation."

"Goddammit, okay. If I start now I can probably bang it out before quitting time."

"Awesome, I gotta go put out some other fires, you're a life saver"

"Just remember that at my next review! ...man he moves fast, better get a raise from this."

*Ping*

[1 new orgasm @ 12:34]

"Heh, Amanda must be getting her second wind."

*Ping*

[1 new orgasm @ 12:43]

"Damn...she never bounces back that fast. I really must have set her on fire last night

*Ping*

[2 new orgasms @ 12:58 & 1:05]

"Fucking hell, she must have gotten a new vibe? Shit I'm getting wet just thinking about it. I should be home right now instead of working on this last minute bullshit report"

*Ping*

[3 new orgasms @ 1:19, 1:26, & 1:37]

"I just have to put my phone away. I can't think while I'm checking this every time."

*Ping*

*Ping*

*Ping*

*Da-ding! Da-ding!*

"What the fuck is that notification??"

[2 new orgasms @ 1:49 & 1:56]

[3 new orgasms @ 2:09, 2:16, & 2:25]

[2 new orgasms at 2:37 & 2:48]

[Successful impregnation @ 3:08]

"What the fuck!? When did he even...HOW LONG HAS HE BEEN THERE!?"

"Lucy? What's wrong?"

"Jerry, I need to get home right now! Jesus this is--"

"Family emergency? Somebody at the hospital?"

"Yes! I mean not that, but--"

"Are you almost done with the report?"

"I'm like halfway through, I can finish it first thing!"

"East coast branch needs it first thing their time EST."

"I can finish it at home, I promise!"

"Not this one, it's some serious NDA stuff. We'd lose our accredidation if you took this home."

"Fucking...is nobody else able to take this over?"

"Not without overtime. Listen normally I'd let it slide, but unless someone is dying or being born I can't spare you. I'll try to send someone over to help you out."

"God it's already too late to...okay thanks Jerry. Fuck..."

"Sorry Lucy"

**********************************************

*Ping*

*Ping*

*Ping*

"Stupid fucking marketing that cant send shit on time. Stupid fucking interns that can't read excel. Stupid fucking traffic holding me up! Stupid fucking CALEB! FUCKING MY WIFE!"

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

"YOU BETTER BE LONG GONE CALEB! WHEN I GET IN HERE I'M GONNA FUCK. YOU. U--..."

"Oh hey Lucy, I was wondering when you were getting home. Amanda here's been pretty impatient."

"What the FUCK is going on??"

"Well right now she's sucking me off 'cause she's too blissed from cumming her brains out but still feeling pretty amorous"

"I can fucking see that you--how the fuck did this happen?

"I waited to come over when I knew you were settled at work. Maybe it's best Amanda tell you the rest from there~"

*Pop*

"Ha...ha...ha...hi Lucy~ y’know even after wearing myself out I wasn't ready to just let Caleb in...but he started talking about wanting to get to know his future baby mama better and I was already feeling like a prized treasure after last night~ I really was just planning on talking to him, catching up on things, but he said such sweet things and really listened to everything I had to say about my boundaries and what feels good. Then he asked to make sure he knew what I liked and I let him touch me and...oh boy I don't know how we never clocked him as a lover boy but mmmm he knows how to use his hands"

"Amanda...you came so many times...so fast...faster than I've ever..."

"Lucy it's okay! I still love you and I can't wait to fuck you again, nothing's changed between us"

"Then why did you keep fucking after he knocked you up!"

"Heehee, well we really thought you'd be here by then... and we already had your permission...and you made a big deal about how I deserve the best~"

"Would you say I passed your test, Lucy?"

"Caleb I swear to god I'm--You need to leave before I do something that'll land me in jail."

"Sweetie, don't be like that~ Come here lemme--"

"Don't touch me, you're covered in his--"

"Shh shh shh, we're all friends. This was always a possibility"

"No it wasn't! He's a dork that's crushed on me since high school! There wasn't a world where he was gonna one-up me!"

"Well here we are, you didnt consider this when you made your wager?"

"I was gonna win!"

"Well now you need to own up to your end of the bargain"

"No fucking way! I'm not gonna--"

"It's okay Amanda, I knew it'd be a long shot. Honestly I'm honored to have helped this much. If Lucy wants to back out I'm--"

"Fuck you! Don't you act all high and mighty; I don't need your pity!"

"Sweetie it's okay, he's not gonna hold you to it"

"It's not about him! I...I put my pride on the line...and I fucking lost...welching on a deal isn't gonna fix that..."

"Whatever you need to do, I'm right here with you."

"Goddammit Amanda...I love you..."

"I love you too Lucy."

"Alright you fucker...you win...you knocked up my wife, you fucked her better than I ever could, and I couldn't even stop you...come and claim your prize..."

"Lucy I really wanna say this was never about humiliating you, I wanted to respect your challenge and...I'd be lying if I said your wager didn't motivate me, but I love you. As my best friend, as my future baby mama, and as whatever we may be in the future."

"You really did all this and were completely serious this whole time?"

"Well...yeah. what can I say?"

"I can't believe I'm letting such a fucking dork impregnate me..."

"We can take it as slow and steady as you want, no rush."

"Fuck that, let's get right to it"

"I had a feeling you'd say that. I may have talked to Amanda about what you like as well"

"Traitor"

"You'll think me later sweetie. Now kiss your baby daddy while I set up the app for you"

"Why?!"

"So we know when you're knocked up. Unless you wanna keep going after he's already bred you."

"Fine! I get it! Come here you fucking--"

"Oh wow he's really been wanting this...damn sweetie he's all over you. I thought he'd need some warm up first, but he must have memorized everything I told him. The app should be set up and synced to--"

*Ping*

"No way...Lucy there's no way you just--"

"Shut it! Shut up! We're not talking about it! I'm just pent up from a long day!"

"Aw c'mon it's not from me rubbing your clit like this?"

*Ping*

"You fucking bastard...not in front of my wife"

"It's okay sweetie, it's kinda hot seeing you like this. I always thought you liked to top because it's the only thing that made you feel good. I never realized you were so sensitive, it's kinda cute~"

*Ping*

"I told you she probably had a humiliation kink"

"Haaa! D-don't talk about mmme, like-fuck...like I'm not here!"

"Sorry honey, I've been your lover for years, but he's been your best friend for longer, I think he's got the full read on you."

"It's not that you're pathetic, it's that you're a badass who always has to keep it up. But you've pushed down the fear of not measuring up and now you get to safely feel what it's like to be a sensitive little bottom that's ready to fall apart for a man that can wrap you around his finger."

*Ping*

"Did I mention he's good at dirty talk?"

"Caleb! You motherfucker...if you tell anyone about this..."

"Shh, don't worry. This Lucy is just for me and Amanda to see. Speaking of, why don't you help your wife lie down and get ready mama?"

*Ping*

"Oh wow, Lucy you even cum when I call your wife mama? Good to know"

"Haaaa, I swear I'm...mmmm, going to..."

"Calm down sweetheart, let's get you ready. You're the only one with clothes still on. This is nice, usually you're leading me, but now I can lead you on how to be a good sub. Just focus on me, think about all the fun we've had on this bed and how you've made me look when you fuck me with your strap. Now that's gonna be you, and you're gonna be so hot~"

"Amanda I don't know if I can do this...if he makes me cum with his...and I like it...then he knocks me up...then--"

"Then you'll still love me and I'll still love you. And if there's room in our lives for our baby daddy, we'll work it out. We haven't failed, we've succeeded! We're gonna start our family! You've already made it happen"

"I love you Amanda"

"And I love Lucy"

"Shut up and kiss me before I hurl"

"I know I'm standing here with a raging hard-on, but you two are the most adorable couple ever."

"Yeah yeah, just come over here and don't make me regret this"

*********************************************

[56 new orgasms @ ...]

"Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck, goddamn you motherfucker! Fuck me into the mattress! Batter my womb! Knock me up! Breed me! Pump your fucking kids into me! Fuck!"

"Damn Lucy, your dirty mouth perfectly matches the rest of your sexy body! You feel so good squeezing my cock, you're ready to be a mother now aren't you?"

"Yes! Goddammit, impregnate me so my tits can swell up and I can feed your fucking children! You fucking bastard, stole my fucking wife and then fucked me too. You motherfucker!"

"He hasn't stolen me Lucy, I should be worried about him stealing you from me at this point."

"Don't worry mama, she's just reveling in how her pathetic male friend outfoxed her and outfucks her too, isn't that right, Lucy?"

*Ping*

"I guess you're right honey~"

*Ping*

"Oh wow she really lights up when you call me pet names. Show her how much you've fallen for me, hm?"

"Yes dear, whatever you say. Even though Lucy wanted me all to herself, she was no match for my big strong man. I'm so lucky to have such a lovely baby daddy, though if you really love me you'll become my husband too~"

*Ping* *Ping* *Ping*

"She loves that! I think I love it too! Maybe I will make an honest woman out of you, poor Lucy here couldn't."

*Ping* *Ping*

"Please do sweetie, make me the happiest woman she never could~"

*Ping* *Ping* *Ping* *Ping*

"This is it! I can't hold it anymore! Lucy's feels too damn good cumming on me! Here it comes Lucy! I'm going to breed you because you get off on your wife cheering me on! Now fucking take it!"

"Fuck yes! Make me your woman! Steal my wife! I-I...I love you Caleb!"

*Ping* *Ping* *Ping* *Ping* *Ping* *Ping*

"Oh fuck! Ah! Ah! God I've never cum so fucking hard in my life, not even when I fucked your wife! Ahh fuck I'm still...take every last drop Lucy. You're my baby mama now...you're both mine now..."

*Da-ding! Da-ding!*

[Successful impregnation @ 1:34]

"He's right, we're both carrying his children now. Are you happy Lucy?"

"Aaa..aa...Amanda...he did it...we're both gonna be mothers..."

"We are Lucy! I'm so happy, we're gonna have kids together."

"Ha..ha..and they're gonna have the best dad in the world"

"I'd be honored to join you two, I can't believe how lucky I am."

"No...not join us...we're yours...we're the lucky ones."

"She's being dramatic again, but I'm not arguing. We'll figure out the paperwork later, for right now, let's all go to sleep as a new family~"

"I...I love you two...Amanda...Caleb..."

"We love you too sweetie. Go on Caleb, you can say it too."

"I love you too mama. And I love you too, darling~"

*Ping*

[goatlingsvent]

Hey, Demi here. I've known about this place for a little thanks to a different user and have avoided touching this place, but since I've been banned, I don't care anymore.

I don't know why or how, but I was banned for having an alt. which I don't have nor never had. I literally got up for a few minutes to look for my earbuds, only to come back to me banned. Considering staff has refused to answer my friends requests for them to email me or answer my emails asking for proof about this supposed "alt account", I'm afraid I'll never get my goats back.

So, at this point, I'm assuming this is a misunderstanding, or I've been framed. So congrats! Billions of ss worth of items are now gone to the void. Better make my lost DOTD count 21 because staff won't even fucking talk to me.

I haven't even been playing that much as of late, not as much as I used to. I was excited to have my IRL friends be able to join MM, but I guess they're doing it without me! And the prize goat for the giveaway? Say goodbye to them and all the retired shit they had because I was trying to help someone else get back into their account so they could donate. Oops, it looks like no one gets any of it!

Perhaps this is good for me. Even though I had refrained from spending money on Goatlings (I did the math and spent well over $4,000 in this goat forsaken site alone), this is now one less avenue for me to relapsePlaying, even if it may sound stupid, literally had negative physical repercussions on my heart and the way my brain makes adrenaline. I can't be excited for shit now without the adrenaline causing severe anxiety instead. So maybe this is good. I already regretted spending the money and regret it even more now!

To the people who hated me because I was annoying or some shit, you could have just, you know, talked to me about it? I'm not a mind reader, I'm a guy with autism and a potential learning disability, learn to fucking communicate with people omg... Alot of your petty beef would be less abundant if you nicely talked it over with people. Why haven't I done that? Because I never felt like a personal problem with anyone! I didn't let little things take over my mind like a brain fungus that makes you stupid.

I may never get my account back. And hopefully, the anxiety and stress of it all will soon subside. Goatlings is becoming more of a hell hole, and I suggest you all quit before you lose it all, or it consumes you. You all sound so miserable... I wish I could help, but I already got my hands full with 3 little brothers and my mentally ill self. If I could buy the site from Kris, I would, and as much as some of you hate me, at least I would listen to your concerns about the site itself.

This may be long as hell, but I care or at least cared for the Goatlings community. Even to those who hate me. If I can't work this out with staff, I'll be here on Tumblr and on Flight Rising. You're lucky I didn't get my hands on the Sweet Nightmares I was gonna get from a buddy soon.

Quit while you still have control. This site isn't worth your well-being.

To long don't care: Demi got banned for having an alt he never made, and staff (so far) won't answer his stupid ass emails. Billions of ss lost.

Live life, love yourself, fuck cops 🥳🎉

🌐

[wikiangela]

tease tidbit tuesday💀

tagged by @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @daffi-990 @fortheloveofbuddie @disasterbuckdiaz @hoodie-buck 💖

hi! so, yesterday I randomly opened the doc with the buddie death cast au - which is a fic I started writing last summer on vacation and never got back to it but then made progress lol it's gonna be MCD, which i know is not everyone's thing so feel free to ignore this 🤣 it's basically buddie in the universe of the "they both die at the end"/"the first to die at the end" books so it's gonna be sad, sorry lol (I never even read mcd, idk why i'm writing this but this idea just wants to be written i guess haha) gotta put this weird mood I've been in lately to good use and finally write this 🤣 not sure if I'm happy with this snippet, but it all needs editing, the first two snippets were written on my phone and haven't been edited yet lol

I posted two snippets so far, gonna link them both snippet 1 | snippet 2

___

“Is all of this clear, Eddie?” she asks in the end.

“Yeah, sure, whatever.” he says shortly. He should've just hung up immediately. Or cancel this stupid subscription after Shannon died. Sometimes he wonders if maybe people who get the calls and coincidentally get into accidents, for example, just give up and refuse to fight because they think it’s their time. Not like Shannon could do much, her injuries were too severe when they got there, but the point stands. Maybe they get more reckless, thinking it doesn’t matter anyway. 

There’s a short pause on the line, but then Jane speaks up again, her tone softer, more sympathy seeping through.

“I know it’s not easy to accept, if you’d like some help with that, on out website you can find therapists and grief counselors specializing in-”

“Listen.” Eddie interrupts. He’s spent enough time in therapy. He’s not doing it on his supposedly last day. “I know it’s all bullshit. I don’t care. You said what you had to say, I listened, for whatever reason.” he rolls his eyes. He really should’ve hung up, or not answered at all. “Is this conversation over yet?” he asks and is met with another moment of silence. She’s probably wondering what everyone else always is: why is he even spending money on this if he doesn’t believe. He has an answer ready to go, but that’s not what she asks.

“Can I ask you a question?” she says quieter, whispering, probably not allowed to go too much off-script. 

“Sure, why not.” he shrugs. He’s wide awake now, anyway, he’s not in a hurry. Not like he’s dying anytime soon.

“If it was your last day, how would you spend it? You don’t have to answer, just think about it.” she adds quickly, her tone much softer and gentler now. Eddie’s mind immediately supplies a picture of Christopher and Buck, just a casual hang-out, like usual, maybe going to the movies, or the aquarium, or the planetarium, something fun for his kid. And later a gathering with the rest of their family, maybe a barbecue at Bobby and Athena’s, with Maddie and Chim, and Hen and Karen, all their kids, just everyone having fun together. Yeah, that’d be a perfect day. “There’s no harm in spending today just like this, if possible. Just in case.” Jane adds, still whispering. He doesn’t tell her that’s more or less his plan, anyway, for the evening after his 12-hour shift. During which nothing will happen to him, because Death-Cast doesn’t know shit. “Well, lastly, Eddie,” Jane’s voice is back at normal-volume, tone strictly professional but sympathetic, as she recites the end of her script, “on behalf of everyone here at Death-Cast, we’re so sorry to lose you. Live this day to the fullest.”

Eddie hangs up without a word.

___

no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @gaydiaz @diazass @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @arthursdent @911onabc @housewifebuck @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck @underwater-ninja-13 @eowon @loserdiaz @evanbegins @ladydorian05 @wildlife4life @nmcggg @diazpatcher @lover-of-mine @king-buckley @monsterrae1 @thewolvesof1998 @puppyboybuckley @weewootruck @buckaroosheart @spagheddiediaz @steadfastsaturnsrings @exhuastedpigeon @jesuisici33 @theotherbuckley @rainbow-nerdss @malewifediaz @giddyupbuck @diazsdimples @jeeyuns @epicbuddieficrecs @pirrusstuff @honestlydarkprincess @hippolotamus @spotsandsocks

[cryptidfuckery]

hey i have a question since you’re in the cosmetology field: i’ve been thinking about taking a cosmetology certification course so i have a more employable trade skill (since im having difficulty finding an academically inclined job). do you think it’s a good idea? i’ve been told that it is because it’s still a semi-creative field and my undergrad degree is in art. i guess i’m just concerned because it’s like, “what if i spend the money on the supplies and classes and, at the end of it, i still cant find a job?” i also feel like, “the time will pass anyway, so i may as well.”

idk, what are your thoughts?

*rubs hands together* alright let's make a pros and cons list

PROS

- trade school takes less time and money than a degree. Often you can translate things you learned in your degree (especially art!!!) Into this trade

- you already have a leg up on so many other students simply by understanding color theory. I'm serious. You will start to understand how to formulate colors much quicker. This will make your life easier.

- you can be a little more picky about what kind of place you want to work. There are a million different types of salons that all offer something unique. You can find a mom and pop shop, or you can find corporate. You can find something in between. All have their own pros and cons.

- over time you can decide which skills you want to focus on and become a specialist. Seriously if you can learn how to platinum blonde people, you might have a wicked fun (AND LUCRATIVE) time doing vivids and alt vivids. Think rainbows and racoon stipes and cheetah print extensions and painting flowers on a buzzcut.

- this industry has the ability to be more lax with appearance. THIS DOES DEPEND ON WHERE YOU WORK. but! I find it's more and more of a trend to let stylists dress to express themselves instead of requiring a uniform. But this completely depends on your boss. I'll be real with you my clients have been dealing with me wearing sweat pants for years. The right ones will love you no matter how you look.

- even if you're still getting your skills refined, a lot of hairdressing is whether or not your clients like your personality. If you can hit the bullseye of doing their hair how they like it AND they love hanging out with you, you've just retained a client.

CONS

- overhead cost of going back to school. Check if you can access financial aid, you should be able to. But I paid around $17k for my 8 month full-time program. If you can't pay out of pocket, you'll be taking more loans home with you.

- time. Every state in the US has its own individual requirements for the hours needed to apply for a license. I'm in Massachusetts, which has one of the lowest hours needed at 1000. That translates to about 8 months full time (40hr weeks), or a year and a few months with the part time option my school had. CHECK YOUR STATE REQUIREMENT. You will only get a license valid in the state you went to school.

- you usually leave cosmetology school able to pass the state board exam. That is what the school is for. Most of the techniques and actual training ends up coming from the salons you work at. There is still a learning curve to hurdle after you get out of school. (Pro: But you'll be making money while doing it!) Some schools will give you more training, but it depends on the school (and they are usually more expensive)

- tagging onto the last one, your mentors are extremely important. Idk if this is a con its more what you need to be thinking about when looking for a place to work after school. Who your mentor is can make or break your experience at a salon.

- if you don't like working with, touching, or talking to people, this might not be the job for you. Being a hairdresser can kick your social anxiety's ass, but it's basically gonna be through forced exposure therapy. You'll be talking to people for the rest of your life.

- this is kind of both a pro and a con. On one hand, the moment you leave the salon you aren't taking any work with you. Ever. Unless you own your own place. On the other hand, you have to learn to leave your personal life problems at the door if you want to be a successful hairdresser. Yeah we cut hair, but we are also entertainers. Few people like a sad clown :( we're also therapists! Few people like a sad therapist :(

- school is....... school. You'll be in with a very, very mixed bag of people. My class even had a mother/ daughter duo attending at the same time! BUT! You will have to deal with fresh out of high school kids. This is the majority of the students. You might be able to curb this by starting before the end of the school year, but they will always be there.

And actually I got something else to say about that. The best thing you can do if you decide to do it, is to NOT treat it as school. Treat it as training for a job. You are there to learn the most you can so you can be as prepared as possible with what they're giving you. Your teachers will love you, and you'll feel like you made the most of your time with the money you are spending.

[flutter2deceive]

Bitching about financials and job things under the cut

My company announced like 2 months ago that our jobs are being eliminated, but it's like this nebulous thing because they're outsourcing and we need to transfer all our products, so my end date isn't until 3/31/2026. Like that's so far in the future and I'm gonna get severence (at end date, i will have worked there for 20 years literally over half my life) + a retention bonus, so I'll be ok for a little while after the fact i think i hope

But anyway i decided to immediately start cost-cutting 2 months ago:

•canceled subscriptions (canceled hulu, paramount+ (i have a plex server hookup anyway), canceled ubereats (and also stopped ordering from them altogether), canceled or went down a level on my minimal patreon subs)

•signed up for Shell's rewards system (it's literally free and you save at least 20cents/gallon every single time and sometimes more without having to spend any money you just click a button and boom extra 10cents if you fill up on a specific day.)

•haven't done *any* fun online shopping or regular store shopping for that matter

•severely cut down my fast food spending (i'm sorry taco bell ily), and as my friends are in similar financial woes, we've stopped ordering food every weekend and opted to make cheap dinners where we each bring some small component like 1 brings pasta 1 brings sauce 1 brings garlic bread

•this isn't a recent change, but i never go out anywhere for like drinks or to see local comedy shows like i used to frequently do. I'm a homebody who goes into the office twice a week and goes to my best friend's house on saturdays and just sits at home the rest of the time

Even with all that!! My debit card is at $26, my 1 credit card is $3 away from its limit, the other is $21 from its limit. I *thankfully* get my paycheck at midnight, but like... woof!

Last paycheck i was down to less than $100 the day before as well. It's so mind-boggling to me that it's this bad. Partially because I've had some unfortunately-timed plumbing issues and had to pay a pricey deductible (but glad i have the insurance obv cuz of how much the total cost would've been otherwise.) But also partially cuz i feel like shit is so much more fucking expensive than it's ever been!! And the last gallon of milk i bought and properly refrigerated went sour like a full week before its expiration date.

I have a decent job and make pretty good money (for now at least.) I have made several cost-cutting measures recently. I feel like I don't *do* anything. And it literally doesn't matter!!

My best friend who has an equally comfortable job told me he had about the same amount of $ as me to last him til his next paycheck too.

And on top of the financial stress, i am so fucking stressed at work because no one knows what they're doing and i keep getting roped into things at the last minute with an IM that says "hey got time for a quick call?" And then i end up having to put together a complicated spreadsheet that is needed by end of week. Why didn't you fucking ask sooner than 2pm on a thursday?! Oh cuz someone who will still have a job at the end of this didn't do what they were supposed to? Ok sure I'll get right on that. And I do. I do get right on that and have it back to you within a couple hours. Because i stupidly care about my job.

Ugghhh i hate everything atm... Except i was able to livestream my favorite singer Terri Clark's debut concert at The Ryman tonight. And i have a ton of Fran/CC fanfics queued up to read. And the Ghosts discord is constantly coming up with the cutest scenarios for H$, my current otp. And i am off the entire next week because next Friday is my birthday. And my dog is snoring.

So i guess it hasn't been such a bad day after all, Charlie Brown... or some such sentimental nonsense 🙃🙃🙃

[mermaidsirennikita]

I think what's often missed in the "why can't we play with genre and not write romance with an HEA?" conversation is that a lot of people defending the HEA are heavy romance readers who are very aware of the amount of money involved, and how the authors who pop off about wanting to be able to label their non-romance books romance are in fact... thinking of money.

Not solely money, of course. And that's not meant to be a critique--I'm a writer, I'd love to write books for a living someday. Money is important. I'm all about getting money for your work, and I've never begrudged anyone for writing to market, writing to catch a trend, whatever. Sometimes it can turn out badly, but if you want to make money it does have to happen (and often writers write to market, get big, and then write what they want... see Ali Hazelwood's Bride) and as long as you are writing a good product and enjoying yourself... I don't see the issue.

BUT. Romance is extremely commercially viable, and it has been especially for the last few years (though that hype has to die down at some point, dude--and I think the shift to romantasy is probably like, the last breath of the current boom, and romance will go back to its normal levels of popularity, which are still more commercially viable than many other genres). So when people (like me) see writers going "but why CAN'T I label my love story that doesn't have an HEA 'romance?"...

I mean. We know why lol. We aren't idiots. Why is it so important that your fantasy novel is placed on the romance shelves, in the romance categories on Amazon? Is it because these authors have a deep and abiding love of romance and just want to sit with the cool kids? Is it because their hearts beat for romance, and even though they wrote something that is not a romance (the thing their hearts beat for) they just are desperate for it to be there? Is it because they are SO DEDICATED TO THE CRAFT OF WRITING and SO EDGY that they MUST change genres, they MUST break CHAINS!!!!

No lol. It's because when you write a romance, you are much more likely to be recommended by the BookTok girlies reading ACOTAR (and say what you will.... those books do by and large, I believe, have HEAs for pretty much all of the core couples). You want that Fourth Wing bread. You are more likely to have access to an audience that spends more than other audiences do. You want access to an audience that also is, let us be real, less likely to be real misogynistic about your book than certain subsets of the fantasy readership.

And the thing is--sure. A lot of readers sincerely don't care. And good for you, why did your book need to be labeled a romance the--oh, wait. I see!

But the readers who do care and spend like, anywhere from $1.99-$35.00 on your book (look dude, I'm thinking about preordering a pretty copy of the next Kerri Mansicalco, and I feel a LOT BETTER about spending that money because she specifically referencing HEA's when announcing her adult titles, and I APPRECIATE THAT A LOT ACTUALLY) only to find out that it's not the thing they expected... It doesn't follow the ONE RULE you expected it to follow because of how it was marketed...

The only time I've kinda come close to having that happen is actually when I read that book the new Anne Hathaway Harry Styles fanfic movie is based on. I was verrrry new to going back into the romance genre, and I read it expecting, based off the premise, that this was a fun, maybe a little silly, sexy book about a woman falling in love with fake Harry Styles. And she does. And guess what? At the end they rather randomly and suddenly break up.

And it kinda sucked.

It's also going to suck to see that book marketed as a romance as the movie comes out, but there you go, I've spoiled you, HORROR OF HORRORS I let you know that the thing you think is gonna be a fun little romance with a happy ending.... is not.

But yeah dude, imagine if I'd spent ACOTAR or Fourth Wing or Princes of Envy money on that book. I already felt kinda dumb for spending what was probably $8ish? It was a kindle copy. I could've gotten a fry-less sandwich with that money, back then!

So yeah. I just think that a lot of people want to be very condescendingly high-minded about PUSHING GENRE BOUNDARIES. And it's like... dude. Do you not think I would get my head bitten off if I went "well, I want to write a fantasy novel, but I don't want there to be magic... I actually want it to be revealed that everything is just run by computers the whole time, and the magical spell was actually a hologram, and I want that to be shelved and sold as fantasy"?

Yeah. Because I'm basically tricking people out of their money, lmao.

[may-stuff]

i forgot what it is you said you were studying at university, can you tell us what it is and why you decided to pursue that? also some of your favourite things, like music, books, tv/movies etc. also, how and when did you get into f1? add anything you wanna share haha i'm good at question openers but never the follow up! maybe how you got into writing as well?

Ok I'm gonna answer all of the above and then if you want to know anything else, you let me know ☺️ I'm not that good at talking about myself lol

I was studying to become a teacher, basically. I was going to teach English to children here in Argentina; English as in the whole language (yeah, I know, I can't even control the language properly and I was about to be a teacher. Ugh) but last year I realised that's not my thing so I dropped out. Then I spent the second half of 2024 getting ready to take a few tests that would allow me to get into Argentina's Merchant Navy. Thank the gods I made it and I'm starting this new career in March. If I succeed this year, I will be able to work in all kinds of boats as a part of the crew. What made me change from one thing to the other is the money, basically. As a teacher, I was going to earn a lot less than what I will earn as a sailor. My main goal is to save enough money so my mum, my little brother and I can leave my father; he's an abusive person but my mum can't leave him yet because we both earn the minimum wage and it isn't enough for the three of us. I want to buy her a house, which it isn't something easy to do in Argentina.

Now, my favourite things... I used to have a very selective taste when I was younger but I realised that, as the years pass by, you become a little less picky and get to enjoy more things. When it comes to music, if I like a song I just listen to it. It is true that I prefer rock and pop, that's what I listen to the most, but sometimes I like to listen to reggaeton or cumbia, which are very common music genres here in my country. I don't discriminate 🤭

I have a great amount of love for reading and also for films and series. I mostly read novels because poetry isn't my thing and mystery novels are my favourites, I also enjoy the classics a lot; Dracula by Bram Stoker is one of the books I love the most, I read it for the first time when I was like 10. I'm a big horror fan, I love watching horror movies/series; supernatural horror is my fav because I love everything related to ghosts, demons, vampires, etc. I actually spend many hours during the day listening to horror podcasts. These last few days I've been listening to The Magnus Archives for the first time and, let me tell you, I love it. Same with tv series, I love everything related to mystery and horror, suspense too.

I also love languages. I learnt English by myself, by watching films and series, reading books, etc. That's why I can't control it as I wish I could, but you guys can understand me so that's a win lol I'm currently learning Italian in the same way.

I started paying attention to F1 because of Franco, I have to be honest. As (almost) every 90's kid I grew up listening about Schumacher and Senna, mostly (even though I was born after Senna died) . My grandpa loved cars and was into F1 and he used to teach me about it but I was more interested in football (soccer) and so was he, honestly. So I would be lying to you if I said Franco isn't the reason I started watching the races lmao but I really like it now and I plan to watch this season even if Franquito isn't there.

I got into writing when I was around 12 years old, which was 17 years ago (omg I'm so fucking old) Of course, at first I used to write only in Spanish and my work was... well, terrible. But I guess I got better with time. My writing is a thousand times better in Spanish, obviously, but English allows people from all around the world to understand me (sort of) so 🤷‍♂️

[kirstielol]

personal rambling

so, to un-vague my other posts.. my bf lost his job.

out of no where. it was a really small company, wasn't doing well since covid apparently, so they finally decided to dissolve the company and let go of all the employees.

things are starting to seem less daunting now though i guess. the initial shock of it was super depressing last week. it was my bf's dream job.. the pay was insanely good, he was able to work whatever hours he wanted, all from home. got unlimited paid vacation, boss was super chill, it was just such a good job and it's sad that it's done.

then the fact that my bf is pretty much our sole source of income. i have my etsy shop but i really don't make much, it basically just pays for my hobbies.

and like, i've got severe social anxiety and agoraphobia. the last time i had a "real" job i was having regular panic attacks, throwing up all the time, and self harming like crazy. i guess i could force myself to go get something if we need the money, but fuck man. i don't wanna go back to that.

so yeah idk, last week we were just freaking out, worried we were gonna lose the apartment, who knows how hard it is to get a job in his field right now.

we're lucky we do have savings to fall back on. we've been saving up for the down payment on a house for 8 years now, so it sucks to have to start spending that money, but i think we'll be able to cut back on spending significantly, and hopefully not lose the apartment before he can find something.

he's applied to a bunch of jobs now. one of which his (former) boss knows the owner of and has put in a good word already. so i'm keeping my fingers crossed that it leads to something.

but over are the days where my bf can work whatever hours he wants.. whatever he gets next is likely going to be a rigid 9-5, either hybrid or on site? so our lifestyle of the past 8 years is over, which is sad. we had it so good. couldn't last forever i guess.

i'm hoping this new era of our life is good, and that maybe losing this job will lead to something better? i'm trying to stay positive.

[fantasticcloudcreation]

Tuesday Jan 21 ~

I splurged on the beachfront Airbnb and I'm so fucking thrilled, it's beautiful and I have a full view of the ocean from my living room 😭 best birthday present I could've given myself!!! I want to live here forever!!!

I invited my work friends (J and P) to stay since we're all travelers and it's supposed to snow but now I'm second guessing it bc I want the place to myself 😛 but I would rather be a good friend so I'm gonna suck it up and not rescind the offer haha it'll be fun and I don't have to be alone all the time !!!

I'm actually so fucking happy right now and I feel like it's the epitome of "living my best life". I can't wait to see snow on the beach tonight !!! I can't wait to see the sunset over the beach for the next 6 days (from my living room! From my back patio! I don't even have to go anywhere I'm literally right on the beach!!!) I can just lounge around and drink wine and crochet all day! I got some fancy food things that I wouldn't normally get, I'm fucking Treating Myself this week !!

I've already had a glass and a half of wine and I always forget that it's like double the strength of beer lol gotta remember to pace myself. I'm so happy right now. Like maybe it's the wine maybe it's a lil bit of hypomania maybe I'm just actually living my life and making things happen!!! Like why am I working so much if I'm afraid to spend money on things that bring me joy and comfort, you know? Obviously this is a very rare little treat for myself but god damn it was the right decision. Thinking about: more of this. Fixing up my travel situation so I can spend less money on moments like this haha. Or, buying a house where I can have these moments in my own house. We'll see :) right now: super grateful for everything in my life. Grateful for my family who have supported me, grateful for my job which encourages me to travel and live outside the box, grateful that I've been able to save up money to the point where I can afford a place like this and not really sweat it, grateful for my van bc I know we're gonna have some epic camping trips this summer and it's ok that I'm spoiling myself with a house for the week;

I'm gonna go smoke a cigarette on the back porch, it's snowing and icy crispy sounds on top of the ocean waves, I'm so glad I decided to stay here, I feel like I can actually relax in my own space right now :) I love my life :) everything is working out :)