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kissinginkitchens · 3 years ago

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You Bring Me Home—Chapter Nine: Friday

a/n: happy friday lovies!! I am soooo excited for y’all to read this one bc it was my favvv chapter to write and I still get emo over it :’) also I think I should maybe let you all know that we only have two more chapters left in this series, and I can not thank you enough for all of the love and support you have shown it. It has been such a blast hearing your thoughts and sharing Halani with all of you lovely people, and I can’t believe the fun is almost over :( BUT we still have some time before we have to think about that soooo without further ado here is the next chapter, I hope you enjoy it :) Much love, Mel <3

Pairing: Hawai’i!Harry x Original Character (Halani <3)

Warnings: swearing, some suggestive humor

Word Count: 9.5k

catch up on parts one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, and eight

Monday

Harry takes a deep breath and raises his arms above his head, feeling every vertebrae stretch as he lies flat against the surfboard. The beaming sunlight warms him down to the bone and it threatens to lull him to sleep, but his attention is too occupied with the various sounds coming from each direction. Out of his right ear, he hears the waves lapping against the shore and the faint sound of children’s laughter. From his left, Mitch and Tom engage in a serious conversation about sharks. He lets one foot slide off the edge of the board and wade into the water below, all the while resisting the paranoia that he will be the next victim of Jaws thanks to his friends’ discussion.

“I’m gonna go switch out the camera.” Paul says beside him, already swimming back to the shore.

Harry gives a thumbs up in acknowledgement and lets the back of his hand rest against his forehead. He floats for a moment longer before swinging his other leg into the water and sitting up. His feet gently tread below the surface and he studies the area for any fish sightings, but his shoulders slump in disappointment when he doesn’t find any.

“I just think,” Mitch defends, legs crossed on his own surfboard. “That I would survive way longer than you,”

“It’s not a fuckin’ zombie apocalypse, survival rate depends on how severe the attack is,” Tom shoots back.

“Not if you’re smart,”

“Right, good thinking, mate. Just yell the Pythagorean theorem and swim away while the bloody thing tries to solve it,”

“You just don’t get it.”

“Stop bein’ a coward, then, and put your feet in the water.”

Harry shakes his head in amusement and continues scanning the scene for something else to occupy his attention. His eyes momentarily land on a couple in the distance, the pair facing each other on their shared surfboard and laughing. He smiles softly and glances back to the shore where his group has set up camp for the afternoon. Squinting, he tries to determine the time of day using the sun’s position overhead, but quickly gives up and swims back to the beach. The sand clings to his wet toes as he jogs over to his bag and digs inside for his phone. The time reads 2:37–Alani’s shift will be over soon.

She stifles another yawn and punches in her customer’s order, re-typing it when she realizes that it’s littered with errors. Her mind had been in a permanent fog since she woke up at 6:45 this morning. Harry had already slipped out by the time she reached over for him, but he left a note on his pillow this time.

GOOD MORNING SWEETS!

SORRY I HAD TO JET SO EARLY :( I’LL SEE YOU AFTER WORK.

H ☼

P.S. ALREADY MISSING YOUR LITTLE SNORES ♡

As if on cue, Alani’s phone vibrates in her back pocket and she slips it out to read the new text.

Harry: Meet me at Honoli’i after your shift?

She really wants to, but she’s also in desperate need of sleep.

Alani: Gonna take a power nap first, but I’ll be there

Harry: Can’t wait xx

********

In the distance, Harry hears The Cure blasting from a car in the parking lot. He hums along and picks at his bowl of fruit, saving the kiwis for Alani who once said they were her favorite. Jeff and Paul laugh about something between the two of them before the director catches Harry’s attention.

“How long you planning on staying here?” he asks.

Harry checks his phone again and the time reads 4:35. He wasn’t entirely sure how long Alani’s nap was supposed to last, but just as he’s about to answer, a text comes through.

Alani: Heading over. See you soon, sunshine💗

He smiles softly and shuts his phone off. “I actually have a surfing lesson at five. But I’ll meet you guys at the house after.”

Paul, the two Jeffs, Mitch, and Tom bid Harry farewell and decide to take a drive along the coast before heading to dinner. They mention the name of the restaurant they plan to go to, but Harry knows he’ll probably skip it and take Alani somewhere else. He sits back on his elbows, watching the palm trees sway in the breeze, when suddenly his vision goes dark when he feels hands over his eyes.

“Guess who,”

“The Queen of England?”

“Yes and I’m here to colonize your land and steal your jewels,” Alani jokes in a posh British accent. She leans over his head so they partake in an upside down kiss before settling into the sand beside him.

“You’ve already had my family jewels,” he teases with a suggestive wiggle of his brows.

Alani scoffs, rolling her eyes. “You are so insufferable sometimes, I swear to God,”

Harry lies back and rests his head in her lap with a shit-eating-grin plastered to his face. The damp locks along his hairline are curled and Alani twirls the pieces between her fingers.

“Saved y’some kiwis,” he informs her, nodding in the direction of his tote bag.

“Aw thanks, baby,”

“How was your day?”

Alani removes the lid and pops a slice of kiwi into her mouth. “Long, boring, tiring. A lot better now,”

“Feel the same way,”

“How’s your project going?” she questions, curious about his recent, mysterious whereabouts.

He shrugs. “S’fine, yeah,”

“What exactly is it, again?”

“It’s a,” Harry starts slowly. “Video thing… kind of,”

Alani narrows her eyes and lifts another piece of fruit to her lips. “Meaning?”

“It’s like—following uh.. the album ‘n stuff,”

“Ah the elusive album,” Alani nods. “Will I ever get to hear any of it?”

“Yeah,”

“When?”

“Dunno,” he blinks. “When’re you gonna let me read that article of yours?”

She smirks and taps her fork against her lower lip. “When it’s ready,”

“Then I’m withholding my thing ‘til it’s ready too,”

“That’s not fair,” she objects. “My article is contingent on your music,”

“One song,” Harry bargains, holding up his index finger. “In exchange for one paragraph. Seems fair to me,”

“Deal,”

He sits up suddenly and opens his mouth as an unspoken request for a kiwi. Alani tosses it in his direction and to her surprise, he catches it effortlessly.

“You really are a freak of nature,” she marvels. “What can’t you do?”

“Stay away from you, apparently,”

“Ditto,”

“D’you wanna head to the water for a bit?” Harry asks, his eyes landing on the board cast to the side.

Alani nods. “Sure thing,”

She strips down to the pink two piece underneath her clothes and accepts his outstretched hand. They shuffle through the sand, joint hands swinging, but Harry stops and scans her face when they reach the edge.

“What?” Alani asks, already dipping her toes in the water.

He runs his thumb over hers and starts hesitantly. “I know the water is kind of…”

“Oh,” she finishes when he trails off. “Yeah. I mean, for the most part I’m okay with it. Last time was just—I wasn’t expecting it,”

“I’m really sorry for that.” Harry apologizes with a somber look in his eye.

Alani reaches her free hand out to his cheek and offers a comforting smile. “No, it’s okay. I actually used to be pretty good at surfing,”

“Oh?”

“Haven’t really done it in years, though. I’m probably really rusty now,”

“Well maybe it’s time to get back on the horse,” Harry urges, pressing a gentle kiss to the inside of her palm before leading them further into the waves. Alani gets up on the board first and it's clear that she’s a natural despite the lack of practice. Her muscles fall into a mesmerizing rhythm as they repeat the very motions she had done thousands of times before her accident. Harry’s eyes carefully study the precision of her determined arms slicing through the water and the way her feet gracefully meet the board once she’s found a strong enough wave. She glides back to the beach and revels in the familiar feeling of the ocean breeze against her skin. Harry whistles from the distance as she reaches the shore, turning back to him with a wide grin and two thumbs up.

“Your turn,” she calls, paddling towards him on her stomach.

Harry replaces her on the board and winces. “Maybe I should’ve gone first,”

“You’re gonna do great,” Alani insists. “Tighten your core muscles. Oh! And bend your knees, not your back. Just trust your instincts and follow through,”

He follows her advice and to his surprise, does well, though not nearly as graceful as she had. Despite this, Alani cheers from the side as he glides back to the beach. Harry takes a bow once his feet have safely met the sand below.

“I knew you could do it,” she beams when he swims back to her.

“Couldn’t have done it without my amazing coach,” he shoots back, leaning down to press a salty kiss to her lips.

With Harry’s help, she swings her leg over the board and sits so that they face each other. Their legs paddle gently below the surface and his hand finds the top of her knee, giving it an affectionate squeeze.

“You were incredible out there,” he muses. “Can’t even tell that you’re out of practice,”

She wrings her hair out and fastens it into a low bun at the base of her neck. “Guess it’s like riding a bike—the muscle memory and all that,”

“You’re a great coach, you know. Cause I usually just wipe out,”

“That’s normal,” Alani nods. “You have to get used to falling. And wait for the right wave,”

Harry admires the way the afternoon sun sets her aglow, skin shimmering and golden under the rays. “How d’you know when it’s the right one?”

“You just feel it I guess. It’s like a gut instinct that you have to follow. And no second guessing yourself, either, cause that’s when you mess up,”

“What if you do go for it and you still wipe out?” He questions, something besides surfing in the back of his mind.

Alani sighs. “Then you wipe out,”

“You just have to trust?”

“You just have to trust,”

Harry hums as he considers this. Three burning syllables bounce around in his skull, but he suppresses them for the time being. Carefully, he lifts himself to his feet and motions for Alani to do the same. It takes them a second to find their balance on the board, but eventually they do and Harry brings her closer with a protective hand on the middle of her back.

“D’you trust me?” he murmurs.

Alani studies the different shades of green in his irises and feels a flutter deep in the pit of her belly, so she decides to take her own advice and presses a soft kiss to his warm lips before responding.

“Yes.”

Carefully, Harry takes a step back and twirls Alani before pulling her flush to his chest and swaying to the music stuck in his brain. As best they can, the pair dances on the surface of the board but Harry’s foot gets caught in a slick spot and he tumbles backwards, bringing Alani with him. When they emerge, his heart races in worry, but the knot in his chest eases when he hears her laughter.

“Y’okay?” he checks.

“Yeah,” she assures him, her legs snaking around his torso under the water. “I’m alright.”

The sky turns pink as they continue to wade peacefully in the water, and the entire time Harry finds himself fixated on the weight of the three little words nagging at the back of his brain.

********

Tuesday

“Say it again,”

“No,”

“Please?”

Harry shoots Alani an unamused look through the corner of his eye. “Dunno what’s so funny about it,”

“Just say it one more time,” she pleads with a mischievous glint in her eye.

“Tuesday,”

“Chews day,” Alani mimics and Harry rolls his eyes.

“You’re so clever,” he huffs. “Really, a true comedian,”

She giggles and leans over in her seat to press a kiss to his cheek. “It’s cute!”

“Yeah, whatever,”

“Okay, just one more—”

“Alani,” Harry chuckles, more endeared than irritated. “Don’t make me turn this car around,”

She pouts playfully and returns to watching the trees and passing cars. “At least I’m not asking you where we’re going,”

“You are so stubborn,” he shakes his head. “I told you we’re almost there,”

“I just don’t understand what it is with you and keeping secrets,”

“It’s about the mystery, darlin’, it’s romantic! Just trust me, okay? Have I ever steered you wrong?”

Alani nibbles at the skin on her lower lip and folds her arms. “No,”

“Okay, then,” Harry says finally. “Now change the song. I let you have fun with one Taylor, but it’s getting old,”

“Hater,” she grumbles, shuffling through the rest of her playlists before settling on Madonna.

Harry’s finger taps along to the beat against her thigh and his lips turn up when he hears Alani singing along. Her eyes are focused on the road ahead of them as she pretends to be in a music video of her own, creating hand gestures and choreography to accompany the lyrics. The chorus builds and she belts out the words as if her life depends on it.

“I’m crazy for you!” She performs, squishing Harry’s cheeks between her hands. “Touch me once and you’ll know it’s true. I never wanted anyone like this, it’s all brand new. You’ll feel it in my kiss,”

Alani presses a slobbery smooch to the side of his face and he groans, laughing when she continues melodramatically. The song goes on for another minute and Alani sings passionately out of tune, but it makes Harry’s heart swell. He briefly considers joining her, but decides to let her have her moment, too amused by the way she’s caught up in the emotion. When it’s finally over, she slumps down in her seat with a dazed look in her eye.

“Gotta love the 80s,”

“Maybe I should let you join the band,” Harry suggests.

“Really?

“No,”

Alani gasps in mock offense, her eyes wide. “Hey!”

“Yeah,” he smirks. “Doesn’t feel so good, does it?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she dismisses offhandedly. “I’m a sweetie,”

“A sweet pain in my arse,”

“Arse? Did you really just say arse?”

“I take it back, you’re just a regular pain.”

The two of them drive for another forty-five minutes taking playful jabs at each other and watching the lush greenery whizz by. Harry had been characteristically cryptic in his instructions the night before, an idea suddenly popping into his mind when Alani reminded him of her day off. He had told her to wear something comfortable and practical, nothing that could flow easily in the wind. Furthermore, he revealed that he would pick her up at exactly 7:00 a.m. which made her eyebrows shoot up.

“Seven?”

“It’ll be worth it, promise,”

“Can we at least get McDonald’s hash browns for the road?” Alani had bargained.

Harry chuckled to himself, too excited to deny her. “Sure thing, sweets.”

Welcome to Waikōloa Beach, the sign read and Alani wondered what could possibly have possessed Harry to drag her out of bed and across the island at the crack of dawn. Her question was quickly answered when they turned onto Keana Place where a lot full of helicopters were lined up and waiting.

“‘Big Island Tours’,” she reads aloud. “Wait a minute, we’re not—”

“Surprise!” Harry beams, reaching behind her seat for a bag.

Alani scoffs, her mind still trying to process. “Are you trying to kill me?”

“Come on,” he pleads. “Been dying to do it since I got here,”

“So bring Mitch! Or Jeff, or Tom or literally anyone else,”

Harry gives her a pout and bats his lashes. “But I’d rather be with you. Please?”

“Harry,” she sighs, taking another glance at the helicopters before her. They did seem secure enough, enclosed on all sides, and he had driven an hour and a half just to surprise her with something fun and totally outside of her comfort zone.

“Trust me?” he asks after a minute, kissing her knuckles gently.

Alani takes a deep breath and nods. “Fine.”

They exit the SUV and Harry takes her hand, slinging his bag over his shoulder. There’s a short, stocky man with dark sunglasses standing in front of one of the helicopters with a clipboard. He checks his watch when he sees the two of them approaching and reaches out a hand.

“Mr. Styles?”

“Harry,”

“Nice to meet you Harry, I’m Matt,” the pilot says with a firm handshake. “Is this your guest?”

“Alani,” she greets. “Is this…”

“It’s very safe,” Matt assures her with a warm smile.

Harry squeezes her hand gently and looks over their mode of transportation. “How long’ve you been doin’ this?”

“Almost ten years,” the pilot explains. “I was a commercial pilot for twenty-five and then started this when I retired,”

“I’m sure you’ve had your fair share of nervous fliers, then,” Alani speaks up, attempting humor to mask her jitters.

Matt nods with a knowing smile. “Oh yeah. Plenty of anxious girlfriends who kick their boyfriends for dragging them into it, but they always enjoy themselves in the end,”

Alani’s cheeks warm at his assumption of their relationship status, but neither her nor Harry address it. Instead, Harry clears his throat and asks his next question.

“So when can we go up?”

“Whenever you’re ready,” Matt offers.

Once the three of them have settled into the aircraft, he hands Harry and Alani each a headset and goes over the basic safety rules. Her heart races and stomach turns, but she takes a deep breath and wills herself to give it a chance. Beside her, Harry is enthusiastically chatting up Matt and being his usual charming self; his confidence is reassuring and she finds herself sinking deeper into his side for comfort. He drapes an arm over her shoulders protectively, sensing her nerves, and presses a firm kiss to her temple. After a few minutes of discussion with the air base over the radio, Matt gives them a thumbs up and signals that they’re ready to go. Another deep breath and they’re off, the ground growing smaller and smaller below. They skim over Waikōloa Village and head west to Waiulua Bay where the water is so clear and blue, Harry has a hard time believing it’s real. Alani peers down at the tiny people all along the coast and in the water and her throat goes dry. She feels Harry nudge her shoulder lightly and looks over to where his finger is pointed.

“Down there you can swim with dolphins,” he says. “Looked it up last night,”

“And we’re not doing that because...?”

Harry flashes a dimpled grin and laughs softly to himself. “How are you not enjoying this?”

“I am,” Alani insists, which is steadily becoming true. She watches in amazement as they hover over the expanse of the lush, green landscape along the coast.

Over the headset, Matt points out some key landmarks and answers more of Harry’s questions. They pass over an active volcano and Alani momentarily feels a rush of terror, but her curiosity takes over as she snaps a photo of the molten lava below. She captures another one of Harry looking out his window before flipping the camera to selfie mode and making a peace sign. He turns to tell her something, but flashes a cheesy grin and presses a kiss to her cheek when he notices the camera. Alani writes a mental note to make it her lock screen later.

After half an hour in the air, Matt points to the cliff on their right hand side and says they’ll be landing there for a bit as part of the tour. A 200 foot waterfall feeds into a small pool and he lands them on a ledge across the way. The three of them exit the helicopter, but Matt says that he needs to check in with the base and lets them explore the site alone for a few minutes.

“This is incredible,” Alani marvels, looking over the edge.

“Knew you’d like it,”

She turns to him and snakes her arms around his shoulders, leaving a small peck to his lips. “Thank you,”

While she had been almost one-hundred percent sure that she would never enjoy a helicopter ride, Alani is glad that she was wrong. She is even more grateful that Harry had encouraged, but hadn’t pushed, her to try it. If Alani had been absolutely against the idea, she knows that he wouldn’t have pressed it any further and would have taken her to do something more her speed, hence the dolphin back up plan. It sometimes felt like they were from entirely different worlds, Harry being more sure of himself and adventurous while Alani was careful and preferred to have things planned. But he made her feel brave and spontaneous without pressuring her to change anything about herself. Harry had seen something special in her and wanted the whole world to see it, too. So he encouraged her to break out of her comfort zone and let her true self shine, but only at her own discretion. Over the course of the past few weeks, Alani had noticed herself opening up to new experiences and loving every minute of it, but this transformative feeling was far from one sided; because of their relationship, Harry learned the value of trusting his own instincts. For so much of his life, he felt like a member of an overcrowded democracy allowing himself to go with the majority rule even if it didn’t particularly please him. From their earliest moments spent together, Harry was inspired by Alani’s determination and self-confidence. He had always cared deeply about other people’s opinion of him and felt that it was his greatest weakness, but she seemed so unapologetically herself at all times. And though Harry sometimes worried that he was simply playing a part for the rest of the world, he never had to question who he was with Alani. She understood him, she grounded him, and amidst all of the unfamiliarity in his new life, she felt familiar and safe.

“You deserve it,” Harry says gently. “To see beautiful things.”

Alani presses their foreheads together and studies his emerald eyes like they’re the rarest gems she’s ever seen. “Well I’m looking at the best damn view right now,”

“Although, I wish you would’ve told me we were going to Jurassic Park, I would’ve prepared my Laura Dern outfit.”

Harry laughs softly and slots his lips between hers, those three, pesky little words nagging at him again. Not yet, he thinks, but almost there.

********

Wednesday

Alani takes an extended lunch and heads over to the recording studio with food for Harry and his friends. He had warned her beforehand that there would be filming, so they agreed to pretend, just for the afternoon, that she was his assistant. However, their true relationship was as much of a mystery to the both of them as it was to everyone else. Alani had considered, on many occasions, asking him to officially be her boyfriend. She didn’t know how else to refer to him when her mom had started inquiring about the Range Rover mysteriously parked across the street every morning. Each time Alani had gotten up the nerve to ask, however, she secretly worried that it was too soon, or worse, that he would say no. Much to her oblivion Harry had also wrestled with this question, and many others, but also feared her response. What they shared was undeniably strong and completely foreign, so they had independently decided not to put too much weight on the situation in fear of bursting the bubble too soon. Neither of them were prepared to deal with the fallout if it all came crumbling down.

“Lunch is here!” Jeff calls from the doorway as he escorts Alani inside.

He motions her over to the table in one corner of the room and helps her lay out the food, thanking her warmly when she declines payment.

“It’s on the house,” she reassures him.

The crew all take turns grabbing their lunch, Mitch ruffling Alani’s hair in a display of gratitude while he swipes his burger, and settle into various chairs and comfortable spots around the studio. Harry is the last one to claim his food and he lingers around the table as he does so.

“Thank you, Ms. Hale,” he offers politely, itching to give her an appreciative kiss.

She nods and returns the professionalism. “You’re very welcome, Mr. Styles,”

“How’s the weather?”

By now, Alani has come to recognize this as his go-to inquiry when he’s really asking for her attention or affection.

“Full of sunshine,”

“Glad to hear it.” he smiles softly. The casual slip of his nickname isn’t lost on him.

“Hey Harry,” the director calls. “Show Jason that Bob Dylan thing you were doing—watch, you’ll love this.”

Harry musters up a pleasant smile and quickly glances at Alani, wanting nothing more than to escape with her for the precious few moments she has left to spare.

“Occupational hazard.” she shrugs as her cue of permission. His fond look turns apologetic before he saunters over to the rest of the group.

Alani watches, amused, as he lifts a guitar and starts strumming a tune that she hadn’t heard before with a Dylan-esque lilt in his voice. The crew all laugh and encourage his impression, but she still wonders what the song is and reminds herself to ask later. After a few moments with the rest of the group, Harry’s eyes wander to Alani munching on a french fry and scrolling on her phone. Jeff notices this too and decides to help his friend out.

“Hey Alani,” he calls. “Come sit with us,”

She looks over to Harry and he grins eagerly, making room on the couch between him and Mitch.

“Alani makes the best smoothies in the world.” Jeff comments to the film crew.

“It’s true,” Mitch adds. “Harry loves ‘em.”

A subtle glare radiates from the singer, but Mitch simply winks in response.

“Well, you guys are my favorite customers,” Alani offers. “But don’t tell the others,”

The whole team makes Alani feel welcome and she’s endlessly thankful for it, making an effort to engage every crew member in some sort of small talk as evidence of her gratitude. Harry enjoys her presence among his friends and how easily she fits in. It serves as further proof of what his gut already knew: she was a missing puzzle piece in the image of his ideal life slowly coming together before his eyes. Alani checks the time an hour later and starts bidding farewell to the group, much to their disappointment. As she slips out the door and over to the Bronco, a familiar accented voice calls from behind. Before she has time to respond, a pair of warm lips meet hers and she hums.

“They’re all goin’ out for dinner at 5,” Harry explains gently. “Come back to the studio then, I have somethin’ I wanna show you.”

********

It’s 5:10 when Alani makes her way back to Napua. Harry had texted her beforehand to say that the door would be open, so she lets herself in and scans the quiet room. She hears the soft keys of a piano, but the room is dim and she has to get closer to see that it’s Harry seated there. Candles are perched around the room and Alani watches her step, reaching a hand to Harry’s shoulder when she reaches him. He stops playing and flashes a soft smile, inviting her to join him on the bench.

“Digging the ambience,” Alani remarks lightly, not entirely reading his mood.

He shrugs. “Just felt right,”

Harry’s fingers return to the keys and he starts with a somber chord that makes Alani’s breath hitch. His vocals are raw and gritty, but stronger than she had ever heard him sing and it nearly moves her to tears. She hangs on every word and burns them into her mind for safe keeping, though she doubts that she could ever forget this moment even if she tried. Harry picks up into the chorus and leaves nothing behind, diving straight into the wave without fear of wiping out. Alani tries, but she can’t contain the tears that spill over her cheek. It’s as if every ounce of apprehension and anxiety, every doubt and moment of insecurity is cleansed from her soul right in this very moment. When the song comes to an end, she immediately wishes to relive it and tries to find the right words in response.

“That was incredible,” Alani clears her throat. “What’s it called?”

“Sign of the Times,” he responds. “Not really sure about it,”

She furrows her brows in confusion, but quickly realizes that he’s being honest and not fishing for compliments.

“Why?”

“It’s… different,”

“Than?”

He thinks for a moment and chooses his next words carefully. “Anything I‘ve ever done before,”

“And why’s that bad?” Alani questions with a comforting hand weaving its way into his hair.

“Dunno,” Harry sighs, leaning into her touch. “I just don’t wanna get it wrong,”

At this moment, “it” isn’t just the song. Everything about his new solo career, and his life in general, is a toss up, and one that he isn’t sure will land in his favor. Alani has no doubts, though, not when it comes to her faith in Harry’s abilities.

“Are you happy?” she asks.

He looks over to her and thinks that he couldn’t possibly be more content. “Yeah,”

“Then you’re already succeeding. If you’re happy with what you’re doing, then no one can tell you that you’re not successful,”

Harry feels his own wave of emotions pooling at the bottom of his lash line and he’s grateful that the low lighting conceals it. He closes the gap between their lips, palm secure against the side of Alani’s face as he keeps her close.

“There’s somethin’ else I wanted to talk to you about,” Harry says gently and Alani feels her heartbeat pick up.

“Okay,”

He isn’t sure how to approach the subject, despite the fact that it’s been the only thing on his mind for days, so he decides to trust his gut and speak from the heart.

“These past few weeks with you,” he starts slowly. “Have been the best of my entire life. When I’m with you, it’s like nothing else in the entire world matters, and nothing bad could ever happen to me because there’s you,”

Another tear rolls down Alani’s face and Harry wipes it away with the pad of his thumb.

“All I asked for was a chance,” he continues. “And it feels like you’ve given me the entire world. Do you remember the day when we saw that rainbow?”

“Yes,” Alani nods, voice small.

“You told me to wish for something, and I did. I wished for a home. I didn’t know why, but that word wouldn’t leave me alone after you said it. But I think I understand it now, because I’m in a place I’ve never been before, physically and in my life generally, but you make it feel like home. You bring me home,”

Alani feels as if all of the air inside her lungs has been sucked out, and her grip on Harry’s wrist tightens because she worries that if he lets go, she’ll float away like a helium balloon.

“I know I’m not perfect,” Harry continues, voice wavering. “But this thing we have feels like it could set the world on fire, and I’d gladly walk in the flames for you. So would you please say you’ll be mine and let me prove it?”

“Yes,” Alani breathes, tears of relief and joy still streaming down her face. “But I need a moment to compose an appropriate girlfriend acceptance speech,”

Harry grins and presses their lips together as if she’s the only source of air.

“Seriously,” Alani chuckles when they pull apart. “Cause how the fuck could I top that?”

“Y’don’t need to. Saying yes was all I needed,”

She unclasps her fingers from his, draping her arms around his shoulders instead, and takes a deep breath. “You’re everything, you know that? You’re the sun and the whole universe revolves around you.”

“And you’re the most heavenly moon,” Harry responds thinking back to the meaning of her name. “Mahealani.”

********

Thursday

When Alani’s father had asked for her help setting up a wedding that was taking place at the resort this weekend, she jumped at the chance. It wasn’t often that she got to be involved in the events at Honu, but she adored the luxurious five star hotel and all of its amenities. She had helped her dad cater numerous events over the years and weddings were her absolute favorite, especially because of the beautiful gowns and all of the blissfully happy couples. It felt like a privilege to glimpse into the most special moments in the lives of strangers she would probably never see again. Alani had been tasked with meeting the bride and collecting any last minute meal cards or notes of dietary restrictions from guests. The wedding was to take place the following night, but all the food prep would begin that afternoon in order to adequately prepare.

“I think that’s all. There were just a few last minute adjustments,” the bride, Mila, says pulling out an envelope from her bag.

“No offense,” Alani starts. “But shouldn’t you be resting? I mean isn’t the maid of honor supposed to do all this? Or a wedding planner?”

Mila sighs, an embarrassed smile spreading across her rosy lips. “I know, I’m just a bit of a control freak. I like things done a certain way,”

“Totally understandable,”

“Like the music thing,” Mila rolls her eyes. “It was my fiancé’s idea. He said that DJs were boring and wanted to let the guests choose their own songs, instead. So that was my compromise. I’m trying,”

Alani offers a chuckle and shuffles the last of the cards into her stack. “Sounds like you’re already mastering this whole marriage thing,”

“Are you married?” the bride asks, curiously.

“Oh, no I’m not,”

“Got a boyfriend?”

Alani’s cheeks warm and her lips curl. “Yes,”

“Knew it,” Mila comments with a knowing smirk. “You’re too pretty to be single. And you’ve got the look,”

“What look?” Alani questions.

Mila flutters her lashes and sighs. “The ‘I’m in love and I don’t care who knows it’ look. Like a Disney princess,”

Alani laughs shyly and focuses her attention back to the envelopes in front of her.

“What’s his name?” the bride pries.

“Harry,”

“That’s a good one,” Mila considers tapping her lower lip. “Like the Prince of England. Maybe you will be a princess, after all,”

Alani is amused by the irony of her statement, but she chooses not to disclose the fact that her boyfriend actually is British, albeit, not a Royal. Instead, she chooses to deflect the attention back onto the bride.

“And what’s your lucky guy’s name?”

“Chad,”

“Like the country,”

“Yeah,” Mila giggles. “Like the country,”

“And what’s he like?”

Mila rests her chin in her hand and a dreamy look settles into her hazel eyes. “Funny. He wanted to be a comedian, but he became a lawyer, instead. That’s how we met— law school,”

“What kind of law do you practice?”

“Ironic enough,” Mila chuckles. “Family and divorce law. I never thought I’d get married, I mean I literally hear about people falling out of love every day. But the thing about love is that it’s effort, and a lot of people aren’t willing to put in the work. It doesn’t feel like work when it’s the right person, though. Just feels like ‘how can I be the best possible partner to this human that I love so much?’”

Alani considers this, her mind immediately wandering to Harry and all of his thoughtful gestures. “Makes sense,”

“Chad is a patent lawyer,” Mila continues. “He’s the more creative, outgoing one, I guess. He makes things light when it gets too heavy, you know? It’s good to have someone like that,”

“Yeah, definitely,”

“What’s your guy like? What does he do?” Mila asks with a flirty grin.

“He’s, uh,” Alani thinks for a second trying to be as vague as possible. “A musician,”

Mila gives an approving nod. “Dreamy. Bet he writes lots of songs about you,”

“Maybe,”

“Don’t be shy,” Mila urges. “Come on, it’s just us girls. Spill,”

Alani thinks for a moment and imagines that the same dream cloud must be present over her own features.

“Well he’s kind, thoughtful, romantic, and wise. Really funny, too. I don’t know he just—he makes me wanna be a better person, really,”

“Wow,” the bride marvels. “Sounds like a hell of a guy,”

“He is,”

Mila leans in conspiratorially and Alani does the same. “Speaking as an expert, I think it’s gonna last forever,”

“You think?” Alani asks.

“Oh yeah,” Mila assures her. “When you’re so used to studying fake love, you get really good at recognizing the real deal,”

Alani offers her an appreciative smile and nods. “Thank you,”

Mila’s eyes light up suddenly and she grabs Alani by both hands. “Hey you should bring him! Yeah, you two should come, I insist,”

“Oh, I—”

“Please, say you will! Maybe he can throw in some good music recommendations to offset the terrible ones,”

Alani chuckles and she knows immediately that Harry would leap at the chance to do so. “Okay, sure.”

“Yay!” Mila cheers, reaching into her planner and jotting a note down. “Harry and Alani at the lovebird’s table.”

********

“Hey, sweets,” Harry beams, pulling up to the front of the hotel in the Cadillac. “Waiting on your boyfriend or are you just in the habit of standing on sidewalks lookin’ cute?”

“The former,” Alani responds coyly. “He’ll be here any minute,”

“And he’s got a pretty girl like you waiting outside like this? You should dump him,”

She shrugs and turns on her heel for a stroll while Harry gently eases off the breaks to follow. “I don’t know, I’m kinda fond of him,”

“S’that so?” he continues with a smirk.

“Yup,” she sighs. “He’s kind of a dork, but I like that about him,”

“Heyyy—”

“And he’s a good kisser. The best at cuddling, too,”

“Sounds like a catch,”

“He is. You two should meet sometime,”

The car comes to a halt and Alani slips inside, scooting all the way down the bench seat next to Harry.

“Funny, you should be a comedian,” he quips.

Alani’s brow furrows and she shoots him a doe-eyed look. “What’s the joke?”

Harry laughs dryly, ignoring the pang of irrational jealousy that strikes him in the chest. “You’re a little too good at this bit, it’s starting to feel like we're not talkin’ about me anymore,”

“Oh, were we supposed to be talking about you?”

His head whips over to Alani who clutches her stomach with laughter. “I’m kidding, baby, of course I’m talking about you,”

“No, who is he?” Harry demands playfully with a deep furrow between his brows. “Tell me, I’ll hurt him,”

Alani slots their lips together and his pout eases into a grin.

“Hey what are you doing tomorrow night?” she asks, feeling the ocean breeze through her hair.

Harry flashes a dimple in her direction. “Anything you want, s’long as we’re together,”

“Will you be my plus one?”

“To?”

“A wedding,” Alani explains. “The one my dad’s catering at Honu,”

His eyebrows raise and he smiles wide. “Are we crashing it?”

“No,” she laughs. “We were invited. I was hanging out with the bride today and she added us to the list,”

“‘Kay, but I’m still gonna pretend we crashed it,”

Alani drapes her arms around his shoulders and leans her head against his. “Where are we going?”

“Damn, I thought I had you distracted,”

“Boyfriend rule #1: You have to tell me where we’re going always,”

Harry narrows his eyes. “That’s not a real rule because surprises are romantic,”

“Too bad,” Alani shrugs.

“But don’t you enjoy my surprises?”

“Usually,”

“Then I’m adding a new rule,” Harry bargains. “The girlfriend can not ask the boyfriend to disclose the location of a date if they’re already in the car,”

“That’s not fair, I was already in the car when the rule was made!”

“Too bad.”

Alani pinches his cheek and slinks back into her own seat. She tells him about the bride and the groom, what she knows, at least, and about the decision to have their guests RSVP with a song of their choice to play at the reception.

“D’you know what you’re gonna pick?” Harry asks.

“Yeah,” Alani nods. “I Wanna Dance with Somebody by Whitney Houston, obviously,”

“Obviously,” he agrees.

“You?”

“Dunno, yet. Have to narrow it down,”

Alani admires the heart-shaped glasses perched on the bridge of his nose. “Well you better make it good, cause Mila knows that you’re a musician and she’s expecting you to balance out her friends’ shitty music taste,”

“You were talkin’ about me?” he teases.

“Well, yeah, how else do you think you got invited?”

“You have such a crush on me, s’cute,”

Alani playfully pokes his cheek. “We’re literally dating, dummy,”

“Don’t get defensive,” Harry jokes. “Cause I’ve got a crush on you too.”

“God, we’re so annoying.”

Harry grins and presses a kiss to her temple. They pull into the Port of Hilo and he magically produces a picnic basket from the backseat, a bottle of Moët et Chandon rosé peeking out. Alani slips her fingers between his and follows as he leads them to a sizable speed boat anchored and waiting for them.

“The Carolina,” Alani reads, admiring the golden cursive on the side.

“Like someone else I know,” Harry winks.

He escorts her onto the vessel and she waits to see when the captain will join them, but confusion washes over her when she sees Harry poking around with the equipment.

“What are you doing?”

“As much fun as it would be to eat at the dock,” he begins. “I think it would be more fun to take ole Carolina for a spin,”

“You mean you’re gonna drive this thing?” Alani questions, though she doesn’t know why she’s surprised by him anymore.

“Pilot,” Harry corrects. “But yes,”

Alani blinks and tries to wrap her head around the idea of Harry piloting a boat. “And you’re allowed to do that?”

“Sure.”

“Wow,” she marvels to herself with an incredulous laugh. “I’m dating a sailor.”

Harry flashes Alani a wink over his shoulder and before she knows it, they’re heading away from the dock. She carefully stands from the lounging area at the back and sneaks over to Harry, arms wrapping around his torso with her chin propped on his shoulder. He steers with one hand and extends the other, recreating the iconic Titanic boat scene.

“I’m flying, Jack!” he calls over his shoulder and Alani giggles, responding with her best improvised rendition of My Heart Will Go On.

They sail out for a bit longer before Harry stops the boat and turns to her. “Ta da!”

“By jove, he’s done it!” Alani praises.

Harry takes a bow and reaches over for the picnic basket, pulling out the rosé and two champagne flutes. He hands them to Alani and spreads their meal on the lounging area at the back: vegetable stir fry and noodles with chocolate covered strawberries for desert.

“You did all this?” Alani muses.

He takes each flute from her hand and fills them halfway. “It’s a special occasion,”

“I feel like an asshole for not knowing what it is,”

“Don’t,” Harry chuckles, handing her the wine. “I mean it’s not really like—I just realized it,”

“What is it?”

Harry raises his glass and clears his throat. “Exactly three months ago, I got off a plane and I stumbled into a little café where the most beautiful and funny and smart waitress served me about twenty glasses of water until I nearly pissed my pants in front of her,”

Alani giggles at the memory, disbelief settling in when she considers how fast the time had flown.

“And despite all of the embarrassing and idiotic things I’ve done since,” he continues. “She agreed to be my girlfriend, for reasons I have yet to understand. So today I celebrate her, and us, and all of lucky stars that brought our paths together,”

They clink their glasses together and Alani presses a cool kiss to his lips. “Cheers, baby,”

“There’s one more thing,” Harry says, holding a finger up.

Alani scoffs. “It’s like fucking Pandora’s box in there!”

He pulls out a velvet box and her heart stops.

“Wait, what are you—”

“It’s not what you think,” he explains quickly. “Sorry, maybe should’ve thought this through better,”

Harry opens the lid and lifts a gold chain with a crescent moon pendant and a smaller sun in the center.

“Saw it in a shop this morning,” he says softly. “Seemed like fate, so I got it,”

“Harry,” Alani breathes, eyes already glossy.

“D’you like it?”

“I love it! It’s beautiful,” she says, pressing a sweet kiss to his lips. “Thank you so much.”

He fastens the necklace for her and she admires it with gentle fingers. The sun and the moon, a piece of them cast in gold and resting against her beating heart forever.

********

Friday

“Wow,” Harry gawks, his eyes raking in Alani’s appearance. A baby pink tulle dress falls just above her knee with puffy sleeves and a sweetheart neckline, all cinched at the waist with a small bow. Tiny velvet hearts are speckled all over the dress, in true Alani fashion, and a pair of sparkling, pink heels accentuate her toned calves.

“Wow yourself,” she counters, drinking in the peek of exposed skin behind his cream colored blazer. The blue dress shirt underneath is unbuttoned just above the butterfly on his stomach and a cross is nestled in the valley between his pecs. He holds out a bouquet of sunflowers between his ringed fingers and Alani accepts them gratefully, moving to the side so he can step into the house.

“These are gorgeous, thank you,” she says, lifting them to her nose.

“Welcome,” he smiles softly, swiping the pad of his thumb against her chin. “You are gorgeous,”

Alani presses her rose tinted lips to his carefully and pulls back to admire him again. “And you are so good looking it actually makes me mad.”

Harry laughs and pulls her closer for another sweet kiss before he hears the clearing of another person’s throat.

“Have her back by midnight,” Pua teases with her arms crossed. “Or I’ll hunt you down.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Harry salutes before bending down to address Freddie.

Alani passes the sunflowers to her sister with a kiss to her cheek before hooking an arm under Harry’s and heading out. They hop into the convertible and the sun catches the golden pendant around her neck, bringing a soft smile to his face.

“Hope those are your dancin’ shoes,” Harry remarks. “Cause we’re goin’ full Dirty Dancing tonight,”

“Lift and all?”

“Lift and all,”

She runs her fingers over the silver rose on his ring finger. “You know, I think we’re finally gonna nail it this time.”

“Oh yeah,” Harry agrees. “They won’t know what hit ‘em.”

When they arrive at Honu, the other guests are shuffling from the parking lot and onto the private beach where the reception will take place. Alani plucks a card from her bag to drop into the box at the entrance while Harry pulls a medium sized box from behind his seat.

“You got a real gift?” Alani questions, a light laugh erupting. “We don’t even know these people,”

Harry tucks the gift under his arm and shrugs. “I put your name on it too, don’t worry,”

“Well now they’ll have a giftcard to Ikea and whatever’s in your mystery box.”

“It’s also a giftcard to Ikea, but wrapped in a big box.”

Alani nudges his shoulder playfully and scans the groups mingling and flocking to the mini bar. She waves to a member of her dad’s kitchen staff attending to the hors d’oeuvres before they are greeted by the manager of the guest list.

“Alani and Harry,” she says to the tall woman behind the podium.

“Ah yes,” the woman responds. “The Lovebirds table, number 9.”

“Guess Mila wasn’t joking about that.” Alani chuckles lightly, taking both of their name cards.

Harry locates their table and to his surprise, no one else is present yet, but he pulls Alani’s chair out for her and pushes it back in once she’s seated.

“Champagne?” he asks, nodding to the bar.

“Oui, s'il vous plaît."

He plants a kiss to the top of her head and makes his way to collect their drinks. Alani’s eyes follow the stringed lights overhead and she quickly realizes that they lead to a disco ball hanging above the center of the dance floor. Well done, Mila. She thinks to herself with an approving nod. The colors, she gathers, are lilac and periwinkle, incorporated into all of the floral arrangements and cloth details. They match the color of the sky above and Alani knows that the bride must be ecstatic over this detail. Harry returns with their drinks and sets them down gently onto the white tablecloth.

“None of our fellow lovebirds have arrived yet, huh?” he muses, taking a sip of his champagne.

Alani shakes her head and brings the glass to her lips. “Must be too busy making out in the parking lot,”

“You told me we didn’t have time for that.”

“I’m not gonna ruin my lipstick before we’ve even arrived.”

Harry shakes his fist to the sky and Alani giggles. They both admire the view and the children in the wedding party who are testing how close they can get to the water before an adult drags them away. The sky turns to a shade of cotton candy above them and someone announces that the bride and groom are arriving. Harry and Alani stand and welcome the newly weds with applause and whistles. Mila and Chad share a sweet kiss and the crowd goes wild. One man, most likely a friend of the groom, shouts “I love you Chad!” and laughter erupts. They take their seats and the rest of the wedding party follows suit, which means that the rest of the guests are free to return to their chatting and socializing.

“I’m beginning to think we were put in the time out table.” Harry jokes when they are still not joined by any other guests.

A light laugh escapes Alani’s lips and she looks around. “Yeah I guess so.”

The servers arrive with their meal and the pair eat happily, exchanging witty banter and observations of the scene around them. Harry sucks a piece of linguine between his lips and turns to Alani with a mischievous smirk.

“No,” Alani says, already knowing what he’s up to.

“Don’t leave me hangin’,”

“Eat your food.”

“Alaniii,”

She shakes her head gently and rolls her eyes, but decides to indulge him anyway. Their lips meet in the middle of the shared noodle and Harry smiles.

“Always wanted to try that.”

A few moments later, he notices a card in the middle of the table and lifts it.

“‘Trivia,’” he reads. “‘Test your knowledge of the bride and groom and win a prize.’ Let’s play, shall we?”

“What’s the first question?” Alani asks, peering over to read the small font.

“‘What year did Mila and Chad meet?”

Alani hums, thinking back to her previous conversation with the bride. “They met in law school, that’s all I know,”

“2009,” Harry guesses. “Who said ‘I love you’ first?”

“Definitely Chad,” she replies firmly. “Mila didn’t think she’d ever get married,”

“I thought you said you didn’t know these people,”

“I guess I was wrong,”

Harry squints at the next one. “What are their zodiac signs?”

“I wanna say Virgo for Mila,” Alani suggests. “Maybe… Aquarius for Chad?”

“That’s my sign,” Harry comments, writing down her guesses.

Alani’s brows raise. “No kidding. Makes a lot of sense,”

“What’s yours?”

“Taurus,”

“I don’t know anythin’ about astrology. Are we compatible?”

“Probably not,” Alani teases.

Harry shoots her a disapproving look and reads the next question. “Where did they go on their first date?”

“The movies,” she predicts. “Safe bet,”

“‘Akaka Falls,” Harry writes. “That was ours,”

Alani’s head tilts. “We weren’t even dating then,”

“Yeah but I was tryin’ to win you over, so it counts,”

“Sneaky.”

“Who is the bride’s celebrity crush?” Harry continues. “Hopefully not James Marsden or this guy’s fucked.”

Alani laughs and she pulls him in for a playful kiss to his cheek. The pink sunset dims into a deep navy and the stringed lights twinkle above, setting the whole scene in a romantic, golden glow. Guests walk past their table holding strips of photo booth pictures and Harry’s neck cranes to search for the source. His eyes land on a small line at the other end of the beach and he stands quickly.

“Let’s go,”

“Where?”

“Photo booth!”

To Alani’s surprise it’s an actual booth, curtains and all, and not just some poor sucker tasked with operating a polaroid camera the whole night. They stand in line eagerly behind two groomsmen and brainstorm poses. Once they’re inside, Alani settles onto Harry’s knee and watches as he operates the machine. The screen counts down from ten and they decide to flash a proper smile for the first one. After it’s snapped, Harry sticks his tongue out and Alani widens her eyes in mock surprise. The third one is a candid, slightly blurry one of them laughing after she accidentally poked him in the eye. A lipstick kiss is stamped to Harry’s cheek in the fourth one, but the pair innocently look away in opposite directions. The fifth and final image captures their affection mid kiss. They swipe the two sets of photos and Alani awes, admiring the black and white film strip. Before they make it back to their table, Alani feels a hand on her arm.

“Alani!” Mila beams.

“Hi!” Alani greets, pulling the bride into a hug. “You look gorgeous,”

“I’m so glad you came! I love your dress,”

Mila turns her attention towards Harry and gives him a warm embrace, too. “You must be Harry! So nice to meet you,”

“Thank you for having us!” he says over the music.

“I see you guys put the photo booth to good use,” Mila comments. “Now go dance! There’s an ipad next to the stage, just queue up your songs.”

Alani and Harry bid the bride farewell, but before they leave, Mila leans into Alani’s ear and whispers “he’s a hottie!” with a wink. They set their photos down inside Alani’s purse and Harry leads her towards the dance floor. She punches in her request and he secretly types the song that’s been stuck in his head all week. Fantasy by Mariah Carey is already playing when they reach the floor, so they join in excitedly. Alani’s hips sway and Harry’s head bobs, both of them mouthing the lyrics. The song fades and Alani’s pick begins, which makes the crowd roar.

“The people have spoken and they love Whitney!” she cheers.

Harry twirls her and shuffles his feet. Alani shimmies and sings along, the lyrics falling from her lips like a prayer.

I wanna dance with somebody

I wanna feel the heat with somebody

Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody

With somebody who loves me

The dance floor is flooded with bodies jumping and swaying, and the disco ball shimmers above the euphoric scene. Alani and Harry spin, making their way through the crowd and letting the music sweep over them like a magical spell. Beads of sweat form at the back of her neck and she lifts her wavy locks to let the ocean breeze cool her down, but her feet don’t stop moving. Eventually, her song peters out and a familiar guitar fills its place.

“I love this song!” Alani cries, immediately recognizing The Cure.

Harry pulls her closer, despite the warmth radiating from both of their bodies, and presses a passionate kiss to her lips. They are surrounded on every side, but in this very moment under the full moon and shimmering disco ball, Harry and Alani feel like the only two people alive. Their foreheads meet and they sway gently, his hands secure at her waist while her fingers toy with the hair at the base of his neck.

It’s Friday, I’m in love.

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fic #harry styles writing #ybmh #ALSO i would just like it to be known that I wrote this before *those* photos so harry get your own romantic gestures >:(#kidding bae <3

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melyaliz · 5 years ago

Text

Yellow Umbrella pt 1

Fandom: Marvel

Summary: Demon Lord Loki needs distraction from the mundane life he lives. You need to figure out who you are now that your boyfriend left you. (AU where Loki is a Demon mafia lord.)

Pairing: Demon!Loki x Reader

Warning: This is NSFW - lots of sexual content

Story notes: The character’s name is Yue because I hate Y/N I feel like it takes you out of the story. (This is my creative way around that)

My Notes: Loki won the contest! But that doesn’t mean Jason won’t show up… I have some saucy plans so don’t you worry. I also tagged everyone who liked/commented on the post. If you don’t want to be tagged just let me know and I will remove you.

All Masterlists @melyalizarchive

Connect with me! AO3 / Instagram / Pinterest

DONATE or REQUEST

------

Every story has an ending. That moment when you are sobbing on your best friend’s bed asking her why this happened. He was supposed to be your everything, he had promised you forever. He WAS your everything. You couldn't picture your life without him. Without his morning text, checking in during the day, his opinions on your life.

He had promised you forever.

How could he just leave like that?

As if those 3 years of constant meant nothing.

As if you meant nothing.

In those moments it feels like it’s the true ending. What could possibly happen next? How could life even go on? What would it even look like? How does one go on after such a shift in their reality.

The problem is this is life. There is no ending, no rolling credits. No large THE END on the last page of the book. The beginning to life is when you are born and the end is when you die. During that time there are a million different shifts and changes.

And even then people have lived before you and will live after you.

So when moments like this happen, how do you start over when your entire life has ended?

When your entire life breaks up with you.

-----

Loki sat in his boardroom. And he was bored, bored in his boardroom.

Someone come kill him.

Too bad he was a demon and couldn’t really die.

The king of demons actually.

Well A king really. The world had gotten just a bit too big for one organized faction and demons had never been very good at the whole “following a god” sort of things so many hundred years ago they had given up and did their own thing. The most powerful ones taking weaker demons and building factions to rule over.

Think of it like an underground mafia

And Loki was lord of one of the largest powerful territories.

Which was great, unless you had to be stuck in these endless meetings. Sure they were important, he needed to know what the werewolves had been up to and if the vampires were starting to group again.

But it was all so trivial. (Just send an email or something.)

That was why he had underlings. To deal with these things.

“We have a few spies among their ranks so we will keep you updated.” the man, Yash, droned on, did they intentionally get the one demon with the most boring voice to run these things? Where was the pazazz? They were demons after all.

Next to Loki his secretary Clover shifted. Her black mini skirt pushed up under the boardroom table so that the demon lord could draw lazy lines up her leg just brushing over those crotchless lace panties she had dawned just for this meeting.

She was a good secretary.

“But… the good news is souls are up and our borders have never been stronger.”

“And on that note,” Loki gripped Clover’s inner thigh before standing. Taking his beautiful scepter that his assistant Jeff had gotten him as a gift last year he tapped in against the floor. The sound echoing across the room. “Let’s take the rest of the day off and celebrate!” See Yash, pazazz

The room erupted in cheers as he added “drinks on me.”

Which is was what led them all to a beautiful speakeasy in the heart of San Francisco. The drinks were strong and the bartenders hot.

Just how Loki liked it.

One in particular caught Loki’s eye. A busty blonde who smiled brightly as he walked in. Leaning forward Loki licked his lips as the woman matched his stance, showing off just a bit more of her beautiful cleavage.

“You’re new.”

“Just helping out for the night.”

“Well I would love to learn more about you before you must leave Cinderella.”

“I'll be here past midnight don’t you worry.” she said shaking his drink. Her body bouncing with the rhythm of the movements.

Loki licked his lips, “Perfect”

She smelled of tequila and seltzer as he fucked her in the back. The cold night air coming out in little clouds as he lifted her up pushing against her. She was impressed by his super strength, humans always were, and the cold night air made her nipples perky as he let his tongue run lazily over them.

“God your beautiful.” she said running her fingers over his thick black hair.

“God’s got nothing to do with it baby” he growled thrusting into her again causing her to let out a cry of pleasure.

“Adriana?”

“Shit.”

Loki’s fingers gripped the curvy girls ass digging into the soft flesh. “Friend of yours?”

“Boyfriend…”

Turning Loki instantly knew why she had cursed. The boyfriend wasn’t alone. Four of them stood there and they didn’t look nice.

He had send his own men home assuming he would just have one quick fuck and then leave.

After all everything about that woman had screamed single and desperate.

I guess you never judge a book by it’s cover.

Not that this wasn’t his first time dealing with a jealous lover.

--------

It was raining out. Thick sheets of torrential downpour as Yue walked home. Her soft yellow umbrella taking the brunt of the storm as she sloshed down the street. She really shouldn’t have even been out in it but when you wake up at 4am with a cough that won’t let you rest there is nothing you can do but run to the local 24 hour mart and grab some NyQuil.

This cold air and rain wasn’t helping the cough but there wasn’t much she could do.

After swigging some of the blue liquid Yue started her trek home. And that was when she saw him. Leaning against the wall heavily. At first she thought maybe he was throwing up but as she got closer she realized he was bleeding.

“Are… are you ok? Do you need me to call 911?”

Her phone was out to show him she could call the police even if he tried something.

“Not much good they can do.” he said turning to her. His dark lined eyes smudge from the rain, black hair flat against his face giving him a very emo boy band look.

Welcome to the Black Parade anyone?

Holding out her umbrella the man took a step under it. “Nice boots” he said pointing to the matching yellow boots Yue had on. His eyes lifted up meeting hers with a wiry smile. He had a split lip and a few other cuts and bruises on his face. He also had a few previous scars on across his left eyebrow and one that was under the same eye down his cheek.

That coupled with the way the light of her phone seemed to make his pale skin glow gave him a little unworldly look. As if he was some fallen angel right out of a Gothic comic.

“So little yellow boots where are you taking me?”

“A hospital?”

“That’s no fun.” he drawled, running his thumb over his split lip.

Her response was a few muffled coughs eyes watering. He studied her taking in her flushed cheeks and red nose along with the 7-11 bag she was holding. “Sounds to me that you need it more than I do.”

“Well I was about to take some NyQuil and pass out.”

“Well I won’t keep you.”

She took a step forward about to leave him. She didn’t owe this mysterious stranger anything. But something nagged at the back of her head. Pausing she turned to him, “If you walk me to my door I’ll let you take my umbrella wherever you need to be.”

“What?” he looked down at her surprised.

“I’ll let you take my umbrella.”

He looked her over, his breath thick with the smell of whiskey. “Ok.”

They walked in silence, the only sound was the echo of the rain hitting the little sunny covering over them.

Once they approached her small apartment complex she stopped turning to him. His eyes lazily looking around, hands in his pockets giving him a very laid back look. She had no idea how he had gotten beaten up but it really didn’t seem to affect him much.

Holding her umbrella up she flashed him a slightly painful smile. Her mouth was so dry from this dumb cold.

“Here”

He leaned forward looking down at her, taking her in for a moment that same lazy smile on his lips that he had worn their whole walk back. His fingers wrapped themselves over hers for a moment, the cold steel of his chunky silver rings sending shivers down her already sensitive skin.

“Thank you love.'' His voice thick and smokey. Dangerously sexy, sending a shiver down her spine that wasn't from the cold.

“Good night.”

“Night”

And they parted. Him down the street disappearing into the stormy night and her into her complex to drug herself into a peaceful slumber.

Little did they know on that rainy night under a sunny umbrella that a new story was about to unfold. A moment that shifted in time changing the course of their lives forever.

--------

-GET TAGGED!-

Forever tag: @the-shadow-of-atlantis @coffee-randomness @0hmydeku @xx3fsxx @daisyboobear @jason-redhood @hello-i-lovespiderman-blr @pinkwitch21 @tomhncharliep @cdwmtjb8

Loki: @wayward-hell @winterssoldierrs

Story: @irwin-hood @hit-th3r0ck @cruel-kitten @boofrarti @i-miukimiuki @mmimagine-40 @mynameofuser @pia-1000 @angelgl16 @the-fifth-marauder03 @plutos-deamonchild @frenchfrostpudding @carydorse @neverleturheartshow2 @sebhiddleston @probsjosh @dracaryspowpow @andrea20967 @saiyanprincessswanie @olive-tini @albinotigerpython

#Loki x you #Loki smut #Demon!loki #Loki x reader #Loki x oc #Loki fanfic #my writing #Demon lord #Marvel Smut

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greenninjagal-blog · 5 years ago

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Bury the Body

I swear I’m gonna stop making new AUs one day. This is not that day. Based on these prompts from @sandersidesquotes right here: 1 2 3.

Let’s go Serial Killer AU!

TW: Murder, blood, stabbings, arson, causal mentions of killing people

Words: 3854

Summary: Logan is a serial killer and he’s not the only one.

General Taglist: @felicianoromano @jemthebookworm @holliberries @stricken-with-clairvoyancy

Read on AO3

To be honest the day had gone great. Exceeding so. He had gotten the promotion he had been after for the past year and received the nice raise that had come with the new position. He no longer had to sit in a tiny cubical and listen to Jeff from two cubicles over have phone sex with his secret girlfriend that his wife didn’t know a thing about. And, sure, the new workload was strenuous, but that made his nights out so much more entertaining, so much more fun.

It was a science. A science that Logan had perfected at sixteen. The more stress he had, the more the bat felt right when it cracked against the skull of his latest victim.

Logan had never been great at baseball, but people had stopped teasing him about it long ago. They had other things to worry about, like the funeral for the captain of the baseball team who passed away suddenly when his shed caught fire while he was out back underage drinking.

In the darkness, his victim when down heavy without even a chance to scream. Not that there wouldn’t be more time for that later. He had chosen her mostly at random from the bar, although the fact that she had been alone and her phone had died had been huge factors. Logan didn’t know if she was pretty or not, but he thought the red splatter on the edge of his metal bat looked a bit like art in the dull light.

Really she should have called an uber hours ago, should have brought a charger, should have dyed her hair brown and worn less make up. She looked too much like one of his sister’s Barbies.

Logan rubbed one of his gloved hands over the splotch of blood on his bat and wondered if she’d scream the way he always imagined the dolls did when he turned them into metal mounds of plastics. Logan felt his stomach flutter, the edges of his lips twitch into a smile at the idea of the lighter fluid in his jacket pocket, at the idea of the matches and the smell of smoke spiraling into the midnight sky.

Personally, Logan thought that arson was a rather beautiful way to die. She should be honored. It was a science, a specific ratio of gas to the victim, a detailed design that would swallow an entire building so completely without collapsing too quickly. She should be thrilled that Logan had deemed her the next one to go floating up to sky with his smoke.

“Oh, that’s not very nice!” A voice said some nearby.

Logan stilled.

He had been lingering in this alley for an hour, waiting for his victim to come out. He knew there was no one else here. So where had the voice come from? And why did it sound so happy?

Logan twitched to look at the mouth of alley where a figure was standing dressed in cargo shorts and a blue polo. He had a cardigan wrapped around his shoulders, and loafers on his feet. If he hadn’t looked so happy, Logan would have assumed he was a Dad running around after his kids.

If it hadn’t been nearing one in the morning, Logan would have assumed he was just a poor civilian in the wrong place at the wrong time.

“Not nice at all, kiddo!” The man said. “Don’t you know that could cause brain damage?”

“Who are you?”

“And she already has so many other problems with her brain.” The other strolled forward with a hop in his step, completely ignore Logan’s question, “I’m going to have to ask you to step away from her now, kiddo!”

Logan was not sure who this man was, or why he found the happy tone so annoying. It grated on his nerves. Logan held the bat out at him. “Stop,” He commanded.

The man took three more steps and hovered just outside the range of Logan’s swing. Logan was sure if either of them leaned more than five inches they’d both explode. The part of him he kept buried deep inside sang.

The smog of the city blocked out most of the moonlight, but Logan had no issue making out the whites of his teeth, the forced edges of his smile that only looked natural at first glance. At this close Logan could make out how robotic and unnatural it is, how it didn’t meet his eyes, how the man before him was so fake he could have been one of the dolls Logan melted as a kid.

Logan’s lips twitched. Could this man keep up that stupid fake voice while he burned like one too?

“Kady Kay here has so many problems with her brain. Just like me!” the man said, “I’m gonna fix them all for her!”

Logan didn’t know what that meant. He didn’t care either.

Until the voice behind him spoke up. “There’s nothing wrong with you, Pat.”

Logan swirled at the sound, so close, so surprising. His victim was on the ground, and right next to her was another figure, dressed all in black, with an oversized hoodie that made him look like a child. He had a marker out, holding the limp left arm of the victim and drawing neat dotted lines at the intersection between her humerus and her radius and ulnar. The second man looks up at him, a shy smile on his face, a guilty smile, like a kid who was found with his hand in his cookie jar.

In the next second there was a skittering on the asphalt behind him. Logan remembered just a second too late that the other man had still been there, that he hadn’t been normal, that there had been a bloodlust in those twinkling eyes that Logan was so familiar with from all the times he had looked in the mirror before he left his house in the morning.

He threw an arm up just as the knife came jabbing at him. The motion was fluid and surgical, and it would have severed Logan’s carotid artery if it hadn’t plunged straight into his forearm.

The man smiled. “Oh?”

“He’s fast.” The other said.

Logan blinked at the blade protruding from his arm mere inches from his face. There was blood on it too, blood dripping down the metal edge and dotting the asphalt at their feet. He twisted his hold on his bat, so that it was easier to adjust his glasses.

“Oh, kiddo,” The man with the fake smile said, “There’s something wrong with your brain too!”

“Congenital Analgesia,” Logan responded.

“You can’t feel pain?” The other said. Logan thought he sounded disappointed.

“Precisely,” Logan said and then he folded his arm inward and broke the handle from the smiling man’s grip and flexed his fingers. Half of them don’t move. Something was severed, but Logan wasn’t worried yet.

“Kay feels pain.” The other said quietly.

“I want to make her smile!” The smiling man said. His hands danced in the air revealing more tiny knifes between his fingers, and slicing fluid motions in the air.

The other shrugged. “I just like taking things apart.”

“What makes you think I will allow you to take my victim?” Logan asked them.

They shared a look and then they give him a twin smiles: One small and shy like a kid who understood a joke an adult did not, the other bright and blinding and completely fake. Logan guessed they were brothers from the way their heads tilt, their curly hair twists into their eyes, and their mouths open at the same time.

“Because we called dibs!”

“How childish,” Logan sniffed. “I hit her first.”

“We’ve been watching her for weeks.” The man in the hoodie countered.

“And premeditated murder doesn’t make it to court unless you actually attempt to kill someone. What is your point?”

The other man’s smile wilted slightly, “Can’t we just….share?”

Logan and the other shot him withering looks, “No!”

“Please V? Pretty please! Please, Please, Please?!” The man said, “I want to see this man smile too!”

“I don’t!”

Logan was about to cut in when another noise cuts through the alley. The sound of trash bins being pushed over, and someone running, several screams.

“HELP!”

Logan found himself drawn to the next person throwing themselves down the narrow venue. A male, a teenager. In the dull light of the night, Logan could see the way he was stumbling in a panic and screaming for help, holding his side and his neck with his arms and the bubbling shining red that was spewing from between his fingertips.

“HELP!” The man yelled, “He’s right behind me! He’s got—”

Logan blinked and there was a long metal blade protruding from the man’s chest. The man gurgled, blood shot out of his mouth and then his eyes rolled back.

The body dropped to the ground with a wet splat and a new figure stepped into the limelight: He was dressed head to toe in white, a suit tailored to fit him perfectly. It would have looked flattering if it weren’t for the red wine hand prints and splotches and smears all over it. He held a katana in one hand and a red rag in the other.

“Twenty Seven!” He sang to them, with a dazzling gleam in his brown eyes that made them look like rubies. His hair was gelled back, and glitter dusted his cheeks just enough to make him look other worldly, “Hi! Give me just a moment and Emo Nightmare there can be Twenty Eight!”

“Hi!” the man with the fake smile said, “I like your clothes! They’re so pretty!”

“Why thank you, Twenty Nine!”

The man laughed, “I’d hate to make you sad there kiddo, but we can’t stay to play! Kady Kay needs to smile too! Come on, Virge!”

“Pat,” the other said, his marker jabbed at the man in white and red, “I want to take him apart.”

“Oh dear,” The man in all white said, “You’re going to mess up my count, Batboy.”

Logan flexed his stabbed arm again. The blood was making his gloves slippery. No doubt his blood was all over this crime scene. Most likely he was going to have to disappear in the night, pretend to be one of the several people to have gone missing in the past months. Oh what a shame, he had liked that promotion and the new money and all the gasoline he could have bought.

He waved his bat slightly, eyed his victim on the ground once more and wished that he had more time to hear her scream and watch the flames to consume her in the warmest hug this life could give her. Then he bolted from the alley while the others are distracted, escaping into the city he knows so well.

What a shame. What a waste.

Maybe one day he’ll see the others again, and he’ll melt them all too.

****

He didn’t leave the city. Not that night or the next.

He bought three stuffed animals from a toy store and lit them on fire on his fire escape. It wasn’t as fun, didn’t relieve as much stress as it should have. There wasn’t any screaming, wasn’t enough smoke, wasn’t the smell of burning flesh tickling his nose. He poured a pitcher of water on the mess and left it on the metal bars.

No police came to his door. And aside from a twenty seven victim murder spree by an unknown killer, there was no news that suggested he was going to have a difficult time. However, there was also no news about the three other killers he had seen.

The following day he took his smoke break twenty minutes earlier than normal. His arm was wrapped and in a sling and his coworkers were being extra nice to him after he told them he had been in an unfortunate mugging. Still it was rather annoying to see that three of his fingers refused to curl and instead hung off his palm completely useless.

He lit a cigarette, but didn’t bring it near his mouth. He didn’t smoke. Not like the others did. Instead he stood on the roof—the designated smoking area of the bank he worked at—and held the lit cigarette between his thumb and index finger while he stares at the flame of his lighter without any interruptions.

If he thought any of his coworkers had half a brain he would have been more careful about being caught so openly aiding his obsession. But as it stood no one in the entire city had put together that stiff, unmovable Logan Ackroyd was the same man who set fire to several warehouses and on one occasion a car in a deserted parking garage.

(That one hadn’t been fun. The flames had hit the gas tank too quickly. The man—or had it been a woman? He didn’t remember anymore—hadn’t had time to scream before they had disappeared into the warm embrace.)

Logan could feel the heat when he brought the light close to his face. It was the closest he got to physical pain.

The door behind him screeched open and Logan extinguished the flame with an irritated huff. He didn’t have to turn around to know who it was, and honestly it didn’t matter either. None of his coworkers knew how to do their jobs. It made sense that he wouldn’t be able to get more than five minutes of peace.

“Logan? Logan buddy you up here?”

“What do you need Jeff?” Logan coldly asked without turning around.

“There you are! You usually don’t take your smoke break for another twenty minutes and I was just—”

“Is there a point your disturbing me?” Logan cut him off. His eyes glared at the ash that floated off the each of his cigarette and dissipated into the wind so freely. The smoke tickled his nose comfortingly.

“There’s a couple guys here who need a withdraw—”

“The tellers are quite adequate at their jobs, Jeff.”

“They want $12,000. Per regulations we need to report any transaction over $10,000. And Janice is with someone right now so she can’t take them, and I was hoping that you would confirm their request and—”

“If you want me to do your paperwork, just say so, Jeffery.” Logan said, “I will happily do it, because that will mean it gets done correctly and I will not have to go back and fix your mistakes later.” Logan stubbed out his cigarette, somewhat regretfully, and then stormed past Jeff from two cubicles over to handle the clients.

The clients were twins, a surgeon and a therapist that were big named into those fields. Logan took one look at them and nearly slammed the brand new door of his brand new office closed.

“Oh, hi, there kiddo!” The man with the fake smile said brightly, “You look familiar. Have we met?”

“I understand you want to make a withdraw.” Logan said coldly as he sat down at his desk.

The two men from three days ago were sitting in the chairs opposite of him, a desk between them, but Logan was not stupid enough to think that provided any type of hinderance to either of them. As it stood, the smiling man was bouncing in his seat beaming, and Logan could see flecks of water dried on his glasses from a frivolous cleaning recently. The other was still wearing that swamped hoodie curled into the seat like he might be able to escape the light by folding in on himself. There was gauze taped to his forehead all the way to his left eye. He was silent, and although Logan couldn’t quite tell if the tense of his shoulders was from anger or just general childlike misery.

“Oh yes sir!” The bouncing man said, “We’re going on a trip!”

“Per regulations I must ask where,” Logan said.

“All over! But mostly to the Midwest!”

Desert area, Logan noted offhandedly. He glanced between them imagining the flat plain desert miles away from civilization and a bonfire so large a satellite might be able to pick it up. He imagined both of the others at the center of it, with their voices drowned out by the crackling of the unforgiving fire.

“I’ve always wanted to see the other side of the country! It’s so vast and big! Oh maybe we’ll get to see some Aliens!”

“Excellent plan,” Logan said distastefully, and even he didn’t know why it sounded so sour coming out of his mouth, “Now I need you to sign—”

“I’m going to bury a body.”

Logan stilled at the sound of the other’s voice.

The smiling man laughed. “Virgil you can’t just say that!”

“What’s he gonna do, Pat? Call the police?” The other snarled at his brother and then stared at Logan directly in the eyes, “We’re going to the desert and I’m gonna bury the body of a man I’m gonna take apart limb from limb.”

Logan found it rather hard to look away. He had no difficulty believing the other when he spoke. He tapped a pen in his right hand twice on his desk. “I wish you the best of luck, Mr. Sanders. Now please sign here and I will return with your money.”

“You should come with us!” The smiling man said. “It would be so much more fun than being in this stuffy office all day! We could go on all sorts of adventures! Oh! I can show you how to smile!”

He hummed dreamily leaning forward on Logan’s desk. The pastel of his sweater was bleached at the sleeves, like someone had worked very hard to get a dark color off of it. Logan felt his lighter in his pocket grow heavy—his brain was off doing math to determine how long it would take to turn that sweater and the man in it to dust before he could stop himself.

Two to three hours for that plastic smile to melt off his face, for his soft pale skin to turn to crusted ash, for Logan to figure out if he’d scream just like those dolls from so long ago. His fingers itched as he waited for the twins to finish signing the forms he provided.

“You clean up nice.” The man in the hoodie said. “Would you wear that to your funeral?”

“12,000 American Dollars, Mr. Sanders.” Logan handed him the money. “Spend it wisely.”

“Have you ever been on a train?” He asked, without counting the stack of bills Logan had handed him.

Logan replaced the cap on his fountain pen and gently placed them back in the cup next to his name plaque. “I have not.”

They gave him those smiles again, the ones that made him feel like they were vaguely teasing him. Bright and bashful, fake and deceiving: but it didn’t reach their frigid eyes. Logan imagined they were made of ice.

Ice melted so very nicely now, didn’t it?

“Goodbye, Logie!” The smiling man sang as his brother shoved him out the door.

Logan crinkled the papers in his hand until the two signatures were barely recognizable. He glared at it hard enough that it might have caught on fire had it been any other reality.

“I’m going on my smoke break,” He yelled to Jeff from two cubicles over and spent the rest of the work day on the roof holding his pocket lighter right next to his temple and watching the flames in the reflection of his glasses.

***

Logan found out he had a total of forty three days of paid vacation that his management was all too willing to give him.

“Go live a little!” They told him. “You’re still young!”

They didn't notice how he pulled the two credit records right before he checked out for the day. The kind lady on the phone was all too happy to tell him all about the reserved seats he had once she had confirmed his basic information.

“Bring me back a souvenir,” His sister said on the phone. “And it can’t be another ashtray. I don’t even smoke!”

Logan lit the jacket she got him for Christmas last year on fire and watched it burn until the night sky began to light again. The heat pricked at his unmoving fingers the sensation of something licking him, of something being not-right.

He did not put it out before he left.

***

He knocked on the door to the private sitting room. The shifting of the carriage had taken some getting used to, but he had always adapted to things so well. His mother had blamed the inability to feel pain, but she wasn’t exactly the smartest person he had ever come across. She wanted him to do more chores and less burning ants with his magnifying glass.

Even her screams got boring after the first hour.

“Might I join you?” Logan asked when the door slid open.

“The sign says private for a reason, Teach.” A voice said from inside. Logan raised an eyebrow at the man, at his plain white t-shirt and jeans that still have the tag on it. He was lounging on a full booth seat, with black boots sprinkling dirt on the other seats, and a phone in one hand. Even without that katana in his hands, he was easily recognizable.

Logan glanced at the twins who sit across from him, “I was under the impression you killed him?”

“Pat made me put him back together.” The man in the hoodie said, rather regretfully. He blew on his fingertips, crinkled his nose, and then went back to using his butterfly knife to scrap the purple nail polish off his nails.

“As if Johnny Depressing there could kill someone as amazing as me!” The other man scoffed.

“Give it four days, Princey.” He retorted, “The only reason I haven’t taken you apart yet is because its easier to transport you alive.”

The carriage filled with a booming laughter, “It’s going to be so much fun killing you, Twenty Eight!”

The smiling man held out his arms for Logan, like an offer of a hug if it hadn’t been for the knives in both of his hands. The toothy grin was too sharp to be flattering.

“I’m glad you came, Logie!” He sang. “I can’t wait to see you smile just like I made Kady Kay smile!”

Logan dropped his bag--a duffel that held a bottle of lighter fluid, a box of matches and three outfits— on top of the man’s black boots. ("Hey! Watch it!") His lips twitched.

“I do believe that you’ll try.” Logan told the smiling man. “However it will be difficult when you’re little more than a charred corpse in the middle of the desert.”

He settled on the seat next to the other serial killers, pulled out his phone, and began searching for an ashtray to send back to home to his sister.

(Chapter 2)

#serial killer au #Sanders sides #logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #arson #murder #blood #knives #stabbing #I cannot stress this enough: MURDER #don't kill people kids its bad #au

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im-gonna-liveforever · 5 years ago

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ITS HECKIN TWISTED APPRECIATION WEEK SO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS (part 1/2)

“YEAH THAT’S RIGHT I’M GONNA YELL ABOUT THE SOUNDTRACK LIKE I DID LAST WEEK BC TWISTED IS A GOOD HECKING MUSICAL WITH A GOOD HECKING SOUNDTRACK

(Now with favorite lines! bc why not, right?) (favorite lines either there bc I like the lyrics in that part or I really like how it sounds within the song)

I’m not a professional music person (I’ve been in band for several years and I’m pretty good, but I don’t know anything about music theory or anything abt singing) but AH WELL, I LIKE RANTING ABT MY SPECIAL INTERESTS AND THE INTERNET IS A GOOD PLACE TO FEEL LIKE I’M TALKING TO SOMEONE, SO HERE WE GO

(also there’s definitely going to be Twisted spoilers under the cut (for act one, at least), so watch out if you haven't seen it)

(also also I split this into two parts bc it’s getting late and as you can see by how this progresses, I got sleep deprived quickly plus it got way too long. This is part one with all the first act songs, part two will have the second act songs and should be up by tomorrow.)

OK THE OPENING NUMBER RIGHT?? THE INSTRUMENTALS?? THE HARMONIES??? THE GENERAL SAJKFDASJKFHDSJK???!?!? Like, it literally sounds like a Disney song but they cuss! It’s amazing!! (And all the citizens?? Comedy gold, every one of them, I swear) (AND THE FUCKINGJDSJKJDSKL SOPRANO PART???!? I’M C R Y I N G I FORGOT WHAT HER NAME WAS BUT SHES SUCH A GOOD SINGER THANK YOU FOR YOUR VOICE)

Favorite lines:

“May the Rats ejaculate upon you!” “Thank you, thank you very much!”

“Why is everyone in the kingdom white?” “Uhh... Jafar?”

“But ugliness permits a man to use his wits, ‘cause pretty people never have to try”

“UGLY OLD JAFAR!!”

pretty much the whole song past the line “Why am I the only one who sees things as they are?”

Specifically “I want to be a cat!” “Wha-” “FUCK YOU!”

But more specially “Whistle while you swallow a spoonful of sugar and your dreams will come true upon a star!!!!” bc OH MY GOD IT’S BEAUTIFUL

Everyone listing how they want Jafar to die

ALSO SPECIALLY THE LAST 30 SECONDS BC AHJSAHJKADS (everything at and past the lines “and if we dream a little harder/ our patience and our honor...” etc.)

OK I STEAL EVERYTHING TIME! ULTIMATE CHAOS SONG, AND I LOVE. BE THE EVIL GREMLIN YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD. Also: the jazziness?? the opening instrumentals??? it’s so good. To the people playing the instrumentals for this musical: ,,,thank you,,,.,. (Also I learned recently that most of Jeff’s songs are in my range so guess who’s gonna try and learn this song?)

Favorite lines:

“Fetch, ya fucks!”

Did I mention the instrumentals?? bc hfhhhjdklsajk They seem simple but they’re also going ham and I love it

“Monkey thought we should just kill you, but I said ‘No, monkey, that’s crazy’ but now I’m thinking, yeah, no more fucking raisins...’“

“Thanks but no, thanks, ‘The Man’“

Honestly every line in this is golden, but I can’t put them all in and that sucks

“You’re only in trouble if you get caught!” “Aladdin?” “I’m in trouble!”

“Just one question, why, man?” “’Cause you stole my daughter’s hymen!” “That’s completely fair, but, in my defense, dude, your daughter’s hot!”

EVERYTHING AND MOOREE!!! SHE WANTS IT ALL AND I’M CRYING BC SHE SOUNDS BEAUTIFUL WHILE DOING SO. (I just realized that there’s 14 songs on this soundtrack and I’m sorry in advance for how long this post A) already is and B) is going to get) This song is so dramatic and that somehow fits the mood of her character and I love it so much and just ahdshjkds. Also it’s just?? So pretty????

Favorite lines:

“But it’s just like, whatever”

“I just want to be free so badly! You slaves could never understand. :(”

“You’re probably thinking, she’s got everything. Well, it’s true, ‘cause I do, but so the fuck what?”

“I WANT THE MOON! I WANT TO LIVE ON THE MOON! And eat it in a pie! And keep it as a pet! and wear it like a gemstone in my hair!”

“As I laugh in their faces of moonbeam pie!!”

“It’s enough to make me with I were lowly and poor... But like... with money!”

THA GOLDEN FUCJKLCIODIGN RULE. LIKE HOLY SHIT I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH. AND THE DANCING THEY DO WITH IT IN THE SHOW ITSELF??? IT’S THE BEST. THE FIUCUING BEST. I’M CRYING. THE DANCING IS SO GOOD. AND SO IS THIS SONG. Also, it’s the #1 Starkid song I’d be comfortable showing to my mom, which is a definite plus! (I could also show this to my church pastor and he’d?? definitely like it, so that’s also a definite plus) And everyone’s so nice to Jafar, espically compared to the opening number and it just makes me so sad and let me give Jafar a hug, goddammit. ALSO also please let me meet the saxophone player and shake his hand, I don’t play saxophone but what he’s doing here is amazing. WAIT ALSO ALSO ALSO MAY I MEET THAT FLUTE PLAYER BC I’M JUST NOW HEARING THE FLUTE (AND HOW DID I NOT NOTICE IT BEFORE, I PLAY THAT INSTRUMENT???) AND I’M FUCJKIGDFONG HOLY SHIT JSUT FUCKINGJDSJKL ;BOUNCE AROUND ON THOSE NOTES WHY DON’T YOU I’M SAJDSKCDSJS

Favorite lines:

“Why it’s as easy as a 1,2,3,4!”

“Always treat others like sisters and brothers!”

all of the lines just sound so good, I can’t choose

The way Dylan Saunders says “Man” that that first time, like holy shit

The whole conversation between Omar and the thief

[completely monotone] “My hunger blinded me and forced me to act like an animal.”

AND THEN OMAR AND THE THIEF SING THE PART AND IT SOUNDS SO GOOD

The “boop boop bop doop zeep do-wow!” in the background during that part

“Good luck Jafar! And! Re! Mem! Ber!”

And then the whole ensemble sings it and it sounds so good

oh good god we’re not even 5 songs in yet i’m so sorry

GOLDEN RULE: EVIL REPRISE, OR, AS I CALL IT, “GOLDEN RULE WENT EMO BUT I STILL LOVE AND SUPPORT THEM”. Those dissonant sounds at the beginning? beautiful. All the random evil laughter? amazing. Whatever the heck the saxophonist is doing at the end? breathtaking, give me more. Joe Walker’s voice?? just fucking dhdsfjkfdlashjdsfklhfdsjkl

Favorite lines:

“Lets him rule the land WITH an iron fist!”

“The prize for winning? MORE GOLD, HAHA! And the game begins again!”

[sarcastically] “’Follow the golden rule’? Boy don’t be such a fool!”

“Follow the gold! Follow the gold! Follow the gold!” “AND RUUULE!!”

DID I MENTION THAT FUCKING SAXOPHONE PLAYER BC DUDE FUCKING AHSDJKDFS

the final “And Rule!”

Don’t be fooled bc this one is so short, it’s nearing midnight for me and also this song is really short. In reality, I fucking love this song and it’s one of my absolute favorite starkid villain songs and also one of my absolute favorites from this musical.

A THOUSAND AND ONE NIGHTS IS SOME FUCKINGNDSKLJ; GOOD SHIT I’M. Also, I don’t listen to it enough, so I’m giving y’all a running commentary as I listen to it for the first time outside of watching the whole musical 1) I love accidentals and key changes, and i’m,,, crying just the first verse is so good already, why haven’t I listened to this song enough 2) I’M CRYING I WANT TO KNOW THEIR STORY TOO THIS IS WHAT LOVE IS I’M CRYINGHJFDSJKSD 3) they keep using the word “’twist” and i’m ahsdhjkds bro 4) DYLAN YOUR VOICE. YOUR VOICE, IT’S TOO GOOD. IT MUST BE STOPPED, YOU’RE TOO GOOD, DYLAN 5) “LINGER OVER EVERY PART” OH MAN IT SOUDNS SO GOOD. SO GOOD. AHHHHHHDSHJDSFKLHJK 6) OK I’M LIKE ACTUALLY CRYINGN NOW THEY’RE IN LOVE. THIS IS WHAT LOVE IS. OH GOD OH FUCK 7) AND THEY SOUND SO GOOD, TOO, WHY HAVEN’T I LISTENED TO THIS SONG ENOUGH AHDHJKLDAS

OK I haven’t listened to this song enough to have favorite lines just yet, also I want to at least get to the end of the first act before I go to bed and it’s already midnight rn, so we’re going ahead and moving on (so sorry!)

IF I BE-FUCKIN-LIEVED. OH GOD. THIS ONE. THIS ONE IS SO GOOD. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. THE FLUTE, THE WORDS, THE SINGING LIKE GODDAMN. This one is also kinda within my range so I’m also trying to learn to sing it bc it’s just that good (cons of being a contralto: you get no female songs in musicals, pros of being a contralto: you get all the cool higher tenor songs) The raw emotion in his voice??? I’m crying??? The strength and soul and beauty and just ashjdskl;jdsfkl; it’s so, so beautifully and wonderfully amazing

Favorite lines:

“Science says you’re dead and gone forever! Reason says I’m talking to the air! But something in my heart, some secret, hidden part, illogically insists that you are there! Somewhere!!”

“Perhaps it’s not too late, to change the course of fate?”

“‘Cause after all, I must be pretty great... if you believed in me...”

Again this song is really short and there’s not a lot of lines to choose from and also I love them all and dfhjskdskjl this is just such a good song

I’m still crying

ORPHANED AT 33!!! [insert Peggle 2 gif] CHAOS... T W O!!!! HE’S MR ORPHAN, AKA CHAOS MAN (NOW WITH A MUSICAL NUMBER!) (I’m also trying to learn this one bc let me splurge in trying to teach myself Twisted songs, ok?) He’s being tragic and over-dramatic and it’s a beautiful song! and I also love how in the studio version, he doesn’t mention that they died earlier that year, so it almost comes as a shock when he says “when I was orphaned at... thirty-three” and it just makes the song that much funnier, trust me

Favorite lines:

I know I said this abt most of the other songs up to this point, but can I say all the lines? because all the lines

“[My parents are] dead... that makes me an orphan :’(”

“‘Cause my story’s just too saaad!”

“They call me a jerk off! a burn-out! A punk! But I can’t let that stuff in my head!”

“All things considered, I think I turned out pretty good! I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and started s t e a l i n g a l l I c o u l d!”

”I’ll make it through somehow, despite being so sadly and crushingly all alone...”

“I’ll BREAK THE CHAIN!! YOU’LL SEE!!! I’M GONNA L I V E F O R E V E R!!!!1!111!”

The last “thirty-three” bc Jeff oh my god what is that voice

HAPPY ENDING TIME, HECK YEAH!!!!! THIS SONG,,,, SO, SO GOOD, I’M A FUCKING SUCKER FOR SONGS WITH MORE THAN ONE PART THAT ALL END TOGETHER IN A HARMONY. THAT IS PEAK MUSICIANSHIP AND JUSTHSDHJFKSAD Also someone pointed this out to me, but the way to goes from Aladdin’s weirdly horny lines straight to the princess going “oh Aladdin, you poor, innocent soul :(” is just the funniest thing to me. And how it calls back to thier own solos, I’m???!? OH AND INSTRUMENTALS AGAIN. THE BAND FUCKING KILLED IT WITH THIS MUSICAL, IT’S SO, SO GOOD JUST AHDSJKLAKKFAnd the energy in it?? The excitement for the next act??? I’m pumped!! Are you pumped?? WELL GET READY BC YOU WILL BE

Favorite lines:

Yet a-fucking-gain I love every goshdarn line in this song, it’s just too good

“They’ll throw a parade in my honor, with peacocks and monkeys galore!”

“The people will cheer!” [cool guitar bit]

[Jafar’s relatively calm part ends] [electric guitar starts back up and Aladdin jumps on stage] “I CaN’T wAiT tO bE A RicH DUdE!!!11!1!″

“Stealing is so much easier when you’ve already got tons of gold!”

“I’ve got my eye! On what money can’t buy! ‘cause that princess is OH! Hella tight! I’ll be the one who plunders her cave of wonders! I’ll get my happy ending tonight!”

“My innocent Aladdin!”

Yes i’m fully aware I put pretty much Aladdin’s full part in there, stop judging me, it’s a good part

“It puts a damper on our love if you don’t have a head”

“So with with your permission, I’d like to bring back your bride!”

just. Jafar’s whole fantasy where he’s happy with his wife. I’m crying again, please just let him be happy

THE ENDING PART WHERE THEY ALL START UP AND BRING UP THIER OWN HOPES FOR THAT NIGHT AND THEY SING THE FINAL”TONIGHT!!!” ALL TOGETHER AND THEN THERE’S THAT COOL LITTLE 2 SECOND INSTRUMENTAL BIT AT THE VERY END IT’S JUST,.,, SO GOOD I’M DSJHDASHJKSDJK

Ok yeah that’s the end of the first act of songs! I should have the next part up by tomorrow, so get ready for more capslock and keysmashes and me generally being excited abt music bc MUSIC HECK YEAH DFFHADSJKHDAS

#twisted #twisted musical #starkid twisted #twisted starkid #starkid rewind #music #i love each and every song on this playlist and if you asked me to choose a favorite I'd black out for at least 2 days trying to decide #honestly tho these songs are so good #twisted soundtrack #musicals #musicals soundtrack

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creepypasta-archive · 2 years ago

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Le rose X the epic jeff the killer

by BubblePerson

So does anyone remember how in Forever Smiling Jeff stops and freezes once she confuses the protagonist/victim with "Rose"? No? Well I'll remember so you don't have to. Anyway this was 1 of the 2 only stories i could find that had Jeffrey interact with a Rose. The other one was a Wattpad novel lenght spanish fanfiction called "La Muerte Está Cerca", which i had no way of archiving or translating in a normal amount of time. Therefore i set that This... thing... is the canonical Rose and the reason why Jeff froze that day.

CW// bullying, assault, stalking, blood, abuse

Click below to read the original unedited story

rosealias pov

I was walking to school, I tried to convince my mom to home school me but she said no. I walked briskly to my school Ledgeveiw high. I am 16 and emo. I have a reason... That's when I saw those three. The bitches Mary,Sue, and Hope. I suddenly felt my stomach turn as I quickly backed away. Then Hope saw me.

"Why looky here what have I found" said hope teasingly.

"An emo brat who needs to learn her place" responded Sue jumping off the car she was sitting on.

"S-SHUT THE FUCK UP" I screamed starting to cry.

"Aw did the baby lose her teddy" taunted Mary jumping off the roof of her car.

"This is pay back for existing" said hope punching me.

"Baby.." Said Mary joining in.

"s-st-stop" I stuttered trying to break free.

Jeffs pov

I saw her, well actualy I was following her. I saw those girls attack her. 'why do I feel so angry at those girls" I thought wanting to run up and kill them

"maybe you should kill yourself brat" said sue attacking her , oh how much I wanted to kill those girls. Then I stopped 'there attacking my target how fo I feel sorry for her" I thought confused I've never felt like this.

"Y-you ass holes " she screamed running off to school

'ill follow her' I thought using the small Magic slender gave me to look human... I followed her to school

rose pov

Those three..... I had a bloody nose and my arm hurt like fucking hell... I secretly cursed them under my breath while picking up my stuff... A youngish boy around my age came up to me.

"need help" he asked politely "sure"I said trying to be nice. "here" he said handing me some books , then a news paper fell out of his backpack. "Whats this" I asked eyeing the front cover. "oh that... It's a newspaper" he responded. "no I meen why do you have it" I said "I am reading about the murders" he responded helping me up. "well we're gonna be late for school" I said dragging him behind me.

jeff pov

wow that girl is strong... I thought mesmerized by her strength .. WAIT JEFF YOU CANT FALL IN LOVE WITH THE VICTIM... I heard slender yell in my head.... But now I'm falling for thus girl.

"hey can you slow down" I said trying to stop her movement

"not right now" she said running faster

"well can you at least let me stand up" I said

"oooo kaaaay" she sighed

"now LAST ONE THERE IS A BROKEN KNIFE" I yelled

Jeffs pov

How am I a psychopathic murderer falling in love with a girl I just met. Last time this happened she hated me. I JUST WAS MAKING HER BEATIFUL . Now how much farther till school

~time skip brought to you by Cweepypasta making Creepypasta cuter everyday~

Roses pov

"a broken knife you say" I said running ahead of the boy "I just realized something... I never asked your name" he said "oh my names Rosealia but you can call me Rose" I responded happily "I'm Jeffrey but call me Jeffy" he said "well hi Jeffy nice to meet you.... Oh and schools over we took to much time talking" I said "well see ya around" he said running "bye" I said

~time skip brought to you by Knives perfect for stabbing your enemies~

Its been a week and I haven't seen Jeffy at all.... What if he forgot about me... I took my knife out of the drawer and slowly dragged the blade across the skin of my arm. Putting it away I ran back to my room to take a nap.

jeffys pov

Slender took me back to the mansion . And guess who's waiting to annoy me.. The one the only Jane. She walked up to me holding out her knife.

"so you want to play that game huh"I asked pulling out my knife "where were you you freak" she said slowly walkng towards me. "I was out killing DUH Jane " I responded "you were gone for a week" she snarled attacking me "so you do want to play" I said smiling , oh wait I'm always smiling as I blocked her attack "you bastard" she responded shoving me against a wall

#jeff the killer #creepypasta #fanfiction #jtk #horror #story #romance

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sinceileftyoublog · 6 years ago

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Live Picks: 8/30-9/2

L.A. Witch

BY JORDAN MAINZER

We got ya covered through Sunday!

8/30: Set It Off, Subterranean

We previewed Tampa symphonic rock band Set It Off’s set at The Forge earlier this year, describing them as “a Warped Tour-approved band who has released three albums, the most prominent 2016′s Upside Down but the best 2014′s sickly sweet Duality, which found success in the grand condition of cheesy concept records, its theatrical, sweeping melodies and instrumentation overcoming its less palatable pop rock aspects.”

Since then, the band has signed to Fearless Records and released a new song, the faux-industrial emo, overproduced “Killer in the Mirror”.

Indie pop duo Chapel and rapper De’Wayne Jackson open.

8/30: Round Robin, Thalia Hall

We don’t know much about this performance other than that it’s a night of improvisation by people who live in, are from, or are rooted in Chicago music. Judging by the lineup, it’s a must-see. It includes Roscoe Mitchell, Akenya, DJ The Twilite Tone, poet Kevin Coval, Tortoise’s Jeff Parker, and SILY favorites like Matana Roberts, Haley Fohr of Circuit des Yeux, Mind Over Mirrors’ Jamie Fennelly, Chicago Symphony Orchestra cellist Katinka Kleijn, Matchess, and Makaya McCraven.

8/30: L.A. Witch, Beat Kitchen

Drawling psychedelic band L.A. Witch released their self-titled debut last year and have been touring strong off of it ever since. Expect to hear lots from the record and hopefully some new material.

Spacey band Moonwalks and local sludgy post-punk duo Pussyfoot open.

8/31: Miguel, Union Park

We previewed Miguel’s show at the Riviera earlier this year:

“War & Leisure, the latest album from Miguel, is, as its title suggests, simultaneously political and personal, the former somewhat new territory for him. The songs are varied as usual; he’s sultry on “Wolf”, funky on the synth-addled “Told You So”, and ready for the radio on the Travis Scott-featuring “Sky Walker”. Stylistically, it’s sort of a combination of his previous two albums, the drug-induced Kaleidoscope Dream and guitar-oriented Wildheart. And while it’s not as earth-shattering and trendsetting as those two, it’s perhaps his most cohesive and fully realized effort.”

Since then, he’s performed “Remember Me” from Coco at the Oscars and shared a new song, “Python”, among other things. At his headlining North Coast Music Festival slot, he should mix it up between his last three albums live, concentrating on War & Leisure.

8/31 & 9/1: Kidd Jordan and Friends, Constellation

Dog/Days is a week of free performances at Constellation, Links Hall, and Hungry Brain. This Friday at Constellation, jazz saxophonist Kidd Jordan plays with pianist Matthew Shipp, bassist William Parker, and drummer Alvin Fielder.

8/31 & 9/1: B-52′s, Ravinia

The Athens, Georgia freak new wave band’s got a decade worth of untouchable material, and they play almost all the highlights during their live set, plus the goofy as hell title track to Funplex. What’s not to love?

New wave legends Culture Club co-headlines. Thompson Twins’ lead vocalist Tom Bailey opens.

9/1: Barrence Whitfield & The Savages, Reggie’s

Soul Flowers of Titan, the new album from Barrence Whitfield & The Savages, is purportedly inspired by Sun Ra and the King Records/Federal Records Cincinnati sound of the 50′s-60′s. Is the latter noticeable? Definitely. The former? Not sure. Most of the songs, like the chaotically horn-laden “Slowly Losing My Mind” and the garage-meets-soul “Pain”, are in line with tracks from recent efforts Under the Savage Sky and Dig Thy Savage Soul. Though I guess the spirit of blues ditty “Let’s Go to Mars” is closest thematically to “space is the place,” much of Soul Flowers of Titan sounds right at home with the rest of Whitfield’s discography. And that’s a good thing, since Saturday at Reggie’s they’ll play a lot of it, plus some highlights from the band’s pre-Bloodshot Records days.

Garage rockers The Woggles headline. Baby Money & The Down Payments, the project of Chicago based songwriter Pamela Maurer open.

9/1: Sumac, Empty Bottle

Post-metal band Sumac headlines Empty Bottle as part of Scorched Tundra X. Earlier this year, they released a mammoth collaborative album with Keiji Haino, and next month, they follow up 2016′s What One Becomes with a new full-length, Love in Shadow. So far, they’ve released the 15-minute “Attis’ Blade”, which builds and sprawls to a mid-section of noise, quiet strumming, and back before revealing longing growls from Aaron Turner. I’ve heard the rest of the album, too, and it’s a good mix of new territory for the band combined with what they’ve always done well. 21-minute Opener “The Task” starts like a traditional metal song but dissolves into a calm eye before the storm of more brutality and the band’s trademark buzzing dissonance, all before ending with organs and Turner’s guttural moans. “Arcing Silver” is the shortest and most straightforward of the bunch in terms of its arrangements, peaks, and valleys, though it does end with some ambient guitar squalls that introduce more jams. And the introductory guitar tones on closer “Ecstasy of Unbecoming” are more reminiscent of Sufi music than metal, though distorted power riffing kicks the rest of the song into high gear.

Avant-garde metal band Yakuza, doom band In The Company Of Serpents, and hardcore band Couch Slut open.

9/2: Matthew Dear, Estate Ultrabar

We previewed Matthew Dear’s DJ set at smartbar earlier this year:

“Truth is, I have never been a huge fan of Matthew Dear’s original material for whatever reason–but his almost 3-hour entry in the DJ Kicks series from last year shows just how good of a curator he really is, starting with a meditative Nils Frahm track and just exploding into a dance frenzy from there. That’s why his DJ set at smartbar should be one of the best you’ll see all year.”

This time around, he’s headlining a BBQ at Estate. He’s releasing a new album Bunny in October and has revealed two tracks: the hypnotic “Bunny’s Dream” and the repetitive “Echo”.

Remix extraordinaire Josh Wink, Canadian DJ Kenny Glasgow, Fortune, Pershan, and Nick Jannite also spin.

9/2: Rapsody, Union Park

After being prominently featured on Kendrick Lamar’s To Pimp a Butterfly, last year, Rapsody released her own “one of the best of the decade” rap albums. Laila’s Wisdom sees Rapsody proud to be a black woman in the rap game. “Yeah, they call me black and ugly / But I go so hard, make the whole world love me,” she spits. Sure, her features--Lamar, Anderson .Paak, Black Thought, Busta Rhymes, and BJ The Chicago Kid among them--are impressive. But her flow, especially on songs like the unstoppable “You Should Know”, the funky “Pay Up”, and the skronking “Power” (she outshines even Lamar on that one), is the main attraction. She’ll be worth the one day price of admission at North Coast.

9/2: Hannibal Buress, Chicago Theatre

We previewed Hannibal Buress’ set at Arcada Theatre back in March:

“Hannibal Buress is both a comedian for the world and Chicago, so seeing him in the area presents lots of opportunity for in-jokes. (The one about the ridiculousness of being asked for an ID at O’Hare airport from his 2015 special Comedy Camisado comes to mind.) While he’s probably best known these days for his role on Broad City, he’s increasingly building up his filmography and TV appearances and has recently started a podcast, The Handsome Rambler, on which he’s interviewed Open Mike Eagle and Run The Jewels. But he’s funniest on stage.”

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maxhoemo · 6 years ago

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prompt: royalty/arranged marriage

ship: maxian

(wtf did i just write?)

Sometime in the Future....

Ian sighed, scrolling through the internet on his holo-screen. Earth’s own Overlord Jr. was set to be married in only a few days. Something he had absolutely no choice in. He felt he was far too young to be married, especially to someone he hardly knew. She was M’xx, Princess of the planet Diomia. She was known across the galaxy for her beauty, and her oafish clumsiness. That girl walked like she was trying to start an earthquake! But Ian had only seen her a handful of times at diplomatic events. The wedding was completely cynical.

“Mom!” He remembered arguing. “I don’t wanna marry that loud-mouthed cunt! She get’s totally shit-faced at every event! She’s a complete disaster!”

“Ian, you’ll thank me when you’re the richest and most powerful man in the Universe!”

Of course, she was right. Ian, known by many as the Google heir, was pretty much destined to marry the Disney heiress herself. And when they did, the couple would effectively own every single company and corporation in the known universe. But come on, weren’t they rich and powerful enough?

“Miss Google?” Ian asked his super-computer.

“Yes, master?” it answered in a robotic tone, it’s screen (the size of an entire wall of Ian’s room) lighting up as it did.

“Is Princess M’xx hot?”

“Princess M’xx was voted 7th Sexiest Organism Alive in 4998 and 1st in 5000 and 5002.”

Ian grumbled. He could only imagine some stupid teenage boy, getting his rocks off to the Princess. If only they knew...

“Image search,” he commanded. Instantly, the screen showed a layout of results. A regular green skinned, purple eye’d space babe. Those short locks of hair perfectly framed her soft face. Even Ian had to admit it. Those big, pouty lips, that thicc round ass. “Okay, okay. She’s hot, I admit it. So what?” At least he’d have exclusive rights to that ass.

.....

Historic First Ever Earth-Diomia Wedding Could Improve Planetary Relations

While the Galaxy is captivated with Princess M’xx’s dress, or the Overlord-to-Be’s shoes, leaders across Solar Systems are looking forward to the Royal Wedding for other reasons. With Diomia and Earth, historically being at odds with one another, leaders hope that the love between M’xx* and Mr. Carter will bring the two planetary superpowers together. Earth was forced to apologize to Diomia for the Meme Embargo in 4923, resulting in the gifting of the Walt Disney Company and it’s assets to the planet in an attempt to mend their economy. Left in shambled after unfair, inflated Meme Taxes. Princess M’xx has long been known for her dedication to preserving and spreading memes, stating; “It’s hard to imagine a world without memes, but so many across the Galaxy go without. Like clean water and Marvel DVD’s, Memes, at least spicy ones, are a basic right.” An enquiry conducted by the #DramaAlertJournal found that Earthlings were overwhelmingly supportive of the Princess. Diomian’s however, are mostly skeptical of the marriage. Many raising concern that Mr. Carter possesses an inadequate penis. Either way, the merging of the two planets will effect us all in the months to come.

More Articles: Ian and M’xx’s Million Dollar Wedding Cake, Why the Princess Named “My Name Jeff” Her Favourite Historical Meme, What to Expect From Ian As Overlord

Cameras flashed, reporters and members of the public crowded the couple as they exited the Church. Ian smiled his biggest, brightest fake smile, the alien Princess on his arm. The wedding had been excruciating. Unbearably awkward. But this was going to be even more awkward.

Waving to the crowd, the couple crawled inside the hover-limo. He was about to spend more than an hour, alone with someone he’d never spoken two words to. And of course, that someone now being his wife.

As the car pulled away, off to the reception, Ian chose to stare silently down at his feet. How much did his parents blow on these shoes?

“Uhh....” Oh God. M’xx was trying to start a conversation. Ian cringed. “Sorry if that kiss was awkward... I’ve never kissed anyone before....”

Ian forced a laugh, looking over at his bride. “Don’t worry. I don’t think there was any way to have made that kiss any less weird.”

She laughed in return. “Yeah. I didn’t even want this wedding to happen, if I’m honest.”

“What? You think I did?”

“Well... My parents said you did. They kept guilting me with how excited you were.”

“Those lying bastards...” Ian muttered, though his tone remained playful. M’xx giggled. She really did look great today... Her bright purple eyes sparkled as she laughed, and her flower adorned brunette locks clung to each side of her face. But that was just the problem. It was about the only thing he knew about her. M’xx was the Princess of Diomia, she liked memes and every time Ian saw her at an event he pictured himself bending her over a table. But he couldn’t tell anyone what she was like day to day. What the alien liked to eat, or watch, or even a favourite colour.

“Worst part. They’re going to print close-ups of that awful kiss everywhere!”

“Yeah....”

Over the course of the reception, the couple did get to know each-other. Or rather, speak to each-other and learn superficial facts. Though, Ian had to admit, as the night went on he was becoming more and more comfortable around his bride. Of course, the two were also becoming drunker and drunker. By the time the limo made it’s way back, Ian was all set for a goodnights sleep. That is, before a stern reminder from his parents. “I don’t care if you think it’s embarrassing! It is extremely important you go back to that hotel room and consummate your marriage!”

...

“This hotel room is fucking crazy! It’s enormous!”

“Aren’t you used to being rich yet?” Ian yawned, kicking off his dress shoes.

“My species doesn’t spend money on luxuries like this.” The Princess explained. The honeymoon suite was not only needlessly large, but fuzzy and pink. Coupled with her green skin, it looked absolutely eye-bleeding. At least to Ian. “Unzip me!” the alien commanded. Ian did, her wedding dress falling to the floor. She flopped down on the sofa, unstrapping her shoes and massaging her swollen feet. Ian was leaning on the arm of the sofa, struggling to shed his many layers.

“Hellooooo Drama Alert Nation!”

“Turn that shit off!” The blare of the TV was already giving him a massive headache. M’xx didn’t listen, just turning the volume down a little instead.

“It’s about us,” she said.

Ian raised an eyebrow, glancing at his own picture on screen. He plopped down beside the bride, admittedly curious.

“But was the marriage a set-up?” asked the Gnomarian host. “For more on that, we go to Xana and Leafy in our New York studio. Guys?”

The scene cut to two anchors in another studio with the same obnoxious hashtag and popcorn branding decorating the walls. A three eyed blonde woman and a typical Grey with emo hair stared into the camera. “Thank you, Keem. Leafy and I attended the wedding, and let me tell you that couple did not seem like they even knew each-other, let alone were in love. ”

“What would that blonde cunt know about love anyways?” Ian scoffed. “She’s the most hateful bitch on the planet!”

“I didn’t even know they were there....”

“I hate this whole news network. It’s just a bunch of gossip.”

“I kinda like Leafy.... “

“Ugh! Why!?”

“He tells it like it is.”

“He’s just an insecure jackass...”

“....Couldn’t agree more, Leafy. If Ian lost all his money and broke both his legs, I would be genuinely happy. Now, talking about the kiss...”

Like an instant reflex, M’xx switched the TV off as soon as he saw a glimpse of the kiss photo. “No fuckin’ way!” Tossing the remote away, she lifted one leg onto the sofa so she could lean against her knee. “This is so much more stressful than I thought it would be....”

Ian turned to her. The way she was sitting drew his gaze to her crotch. The sheer-white panties left nothing to the imagination. Though, not quite what Ian had been expecting.

“Why are you staring at my penis?”

“I just.... Didn’t expect you to have one....” He looked back to her face, a perplexed look crossing her features.

“Why?”

“Well, I.... I just....”

“Everyone on my planet has a penis....”

Ian blinked. Couldn’t anyone have given him a little information before the wedding? How was he supposed to know that? Even Drama Alert didn’t know. “Then why are you a Princess?” Why would a species like that use gender’d terms?

“Princess is just a rough translation. It’s easier than saying, ruler with one penis.”

“What the fuck are you talking about? No offence, but your species if fucking stupid.”

“Fuck up. Your species is way fucking worse than mine....”

“Are you even a she? Or a he? Or what do I call you?”

M’xx shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. Those words don’t exist in my language.”

“Well... Do you feel like a guy or a girl?”

“What a stupid question. I feel like a Diomian with one penis. I’m a Princess, but that doesn’t make me an Earth-girl.”

“Wait.... Does that mean other Diomian’s have more than one...?”

M’xx’s eyes widened a little. “You mean... You don’t have more than one!?”

“No!”

“I’ve only ever seen porn with a one-penised one and a four-penised one. I wasn’t expecting this to be a same-penis number marriage.....”

“Me either....”

“What were you expecting?”

“Well. I guess I just assumed you had a pussy. Course, you’re not even from Earth I don’t know why I’d assume that. But if you all have dicks, how do you have kids?”

“What do you mean? The couple spits in a tube and sends it to the lab, where they grow the baby.... What the fuck is a pussy!? I thought this was an Earth creature! Like a Pokemon. ”

Ian sighed. “Miss Google....” The hotels computer lit up. “Image search Earth Woman.... Uhh, painting...” He didn’t want to freak M’xx out with some pornographic image. The computer pulled up an Ancient stature of some Goddess, her name lost to time. The Princess tilted her head, staring at the image in utter confusion.

“There’s nothing there!” Ian just shrugged in response. Ian was not going to go all into human anatomy right now. “Disney-Assist!” M’xx’s watch lit up. He held it up, showing off it’s projected holographic planet. “Image search, Diomian penis!” Ian’s eyes practically bulged out of his head at the series of images suddenly flashed before his eyes. It was horrible! Like a nightmare! Green, lumpy penises. On top of each-other, growing out of one another.... It was downright disgusting... Was he going to have to look at something like....

“T-take off your panties... Show me your dick....”

M’xx giggled. “If you insist!” He turned his watch off, standing before Ian and wiggling his hips. Sliding down the lacy panties, his penis spring out as he did. Ian felt relieved. It was an ordinary, human looking penis. Well, apart from being mint green. Still, nothing Lovecraftian. “What do you think?”

“It’s very nice...”

“That didn’t sound very enthusiastic.”

“Sorry. I’m tired....”

“But it’s our wedding night. Aren’t we going to at least fuck?”

“Ugh, no. Just.... Put that away and go to sleep.”

“What the hell? You can’t order me around. I’m a Princess, remember?”

“Yeah, and now you’re my wife.”

“So?”

“Don’t you remember your vows, dear? Love, honour and obey?” He asked with a cheeky grin.

M’xx scowled. “Fuck up. I don’t take orders from you, or anybody else!”

“Oh, really?”

“Really!”

The Princess was awfully cute when she was worked up. Ian thought to himself for a moment, concluding maybe he wasn’t as tired as he thought. “So... You don’t take orders, huh M’xx?”

“No.”

“You’re not gonna be a good little bitch, and do what I tell you?”

“Don’t call me a bitch...”

“Give me your panties.” For someone who didn’t like taking orders, M’xx sure obeyed that one fast. “You wanna get fucked?” M’xx nodded. “Then get in bed.” Again, without hesitation, M’xx did as Ian told him. Ian threw off his boxers, climbing on top of his bride. He ran his hands along her smooth, nipple-less chest (different, but not bad, Ian decided.) M’xx shuddered at the touch. “Do you like that?” M’xx bit back a moan, nodding. Purple pupils dilated. Ian took the Princess’s delicate wrists in one hand, tying them to the bar of the bedpost with her panties. “How many of those giant alien dicks have you sucked?”

“None,” M’xx answered honestly. “I only know from porn...”

“That’s okay, that’s okay....” Ian ran his fingers through M’xx’s soft hair. “You’re gonna use all that porn you watched, you slutty little Princess, and suck my Earth-Cock. You wanna be just like those porn star’s, huh?” M’xx nodded. “That’s a good girl,” Ian praised. M’xx would usually find it disrespectful to be referred to with an Earth word like ‘girl’. But being disrespected was turning him on.... Ian shifted, so he was on M’xx’s left, kneeling on the bed. “You better be good, bitch.” M’xx grinned, taking Ian’s dick in his mouth, trying to do just what she remembered. She was relieved honestly. An Earth dick was probably much easier to take in her mouth than the one’s she had seen online. Just as she was getting the hang of it, Ian pushed her off by the forehead.

“Was I doing it wrong...?”

“No, Princess. You’re a natural,” he breathed. “I just... Ever since I first saw you, all I could think about was burying my dick in your juicy fucking alien ass!”

M’xx stared up at him, his mouth forming an o shape. “Really?”

“Yeah... Fuck, it just looks so fucking good in your slutty little outfits...”

M’xx yelped as Ian entered him. Ian’s dick slid in easily, thanks to the slick alien spit. But M’xx had never been stretched like this before. “Ian...”

“Shh, shh.... Just hang on, I promise...” Ian got a little deeper with each thrust. Hitting M’xx magic spot sooner than he anticipated, judging by the change in expression. Diomian anatomy, he guessed. He felt M’xx relax around him.

“Fuck... Ian.... That’s.... I never felt anything that good....”

Ian smirked. “That’s why.... You should trust me, Princess. I know what’s best for you better than you do...”

“Mmm....”

He could feel himself getting close. He would have happily cum deep inside M’xx’s ass, but had a better idea. He pulled out, the Princess letting out a whimper at the loss. He gave his dick a few last tugs, cumming all over M’xx’s chest and face.

“W-what.... What is that?” The Princess looked confused, but still blissed out. Of course, they reproduced with spit in a laboratory. They had no reason to ejaculate.

“It’s cum... Try it...” He commanded, untying her.

M’xx, eyes still locked with Ian’s, obeyed. Swiping some from her face with a finger, she tasted it.

“You like it, bitch?”

“It’s weird....”

“Well, you better get used to it. You’re gonna do what I tell you, aren’t you Princess? And you’re gonna be covered in that a lot more than you aren’t.”

“Oh, really?”

“Fuck yeah.”

“Think again...” Before Ian could even think of a response, the Princess had grabbed his wrists, flipping the two over so he was now in the vulnerable position. She must have been hiding that strength.... “Alright Ian, you pathetic one-penis earth gir-BOY!”

“Come on, M’xx...”

“That’s Princess M’xx, cunt!” She slid upwards, sitting on Ian’s chest. “What the fuck are these?”

“Those are my nipples! And you’re fucking hurting them!”

“Good, they’re fucking weird! Anyways... You’re gonna suck your Princess’s dick!”

“Oh, that’s what you want? Desperate to get off, are we?”

“Shut up! Get on the ground! On your knees. Kneel before your Princess!” She demanded, rolling off. Ian could use the oppurtunity to get back the upper hand, but decided to play along. He kneeled down on the fuzzy pink carpet, M’xx sliding off the bed and looming over him. “Go on,” Just like before, M’xx found himself overwhelmed with the feeling. Who could ever anticipate such a weakening, overload of pleasure. Ian grabbed her ass from behind, and M’xx didn’t complain. Course, it was weird to suck someone off without the ‘big finish’ so to speak. Still, at least M’xx could still orgasm from his dick.

“Mmm.... Ian that was so good....”

“You give a mean one yourself.”

“Is this what love feels like?”

“Umm... Let’s see how we feel about that in the morning....”

#this just came out idk ok #pls enjoy anyways #maxian #writing

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